Pixie haircut, back shot
Switching from PC to console, any tips>?
2024.05.13 22:45 rightsideshooter Switching from PC to console, any tips>?
I started playing OW2 last June when I got my first Xbox. After a couple months I felt like I was getting the hang of it and started to slowly improve. I ended up getting a PC in January so I ditched the Xbox and just played on there. I have to say this is when I started improving a bit more. Everything seemed slightly better, aiming, controls, movement etc.
It's been a while since I'd played on console but my PC has been acting up so I decided to go back to console. I tried playing yesterday but it was the hardest thing ever. Everything from the movement to aiming is entirely different and although I had done it before it seemed extremely complicated. Are there any tips to make the switch less complicated? The hardest thing for me is aiming and hitting shots as it seems 10 times slower. It's almost as if I had forgotten how to play OW on console which is a bit funny.
For those wondering, the PC I got was an old PC that my buddy gave me. He was going to get rid of it so I grabbed it instead. It works okay but it just seems to lag a lot and the frames drop drastically it's not worth it playing on there anymore.
submitted by rightsideshooter to OverwatchUniversity [link] [comments]
It's been a while since I'd played on console but my PC has been acting up so I decided to go back to console. I tried playing yesterday but it was the hardest thing ever. Everything from the movement to aiming is entirely different and although I had done it before it seemed extremely complicated. Are there any tips to make the switch less complicated? The hardest thing for me is aiming and hitting shots as it seems 10 times slower. It's almost as if I had forgotten how to play OW on console which is a bit funny.
For those wondering, the PC I got was an old PC that my buddy gave me. He was going to get rid of it so I grabbed it instead. It works okay but it just seems to lag a lot and the frames drop drastically it's not worth it playing on there anymore.
2024.05.13 22:43 luzikapuzi Curly hair cut with a razor
Hi, so as you can guess from my title I got a wolf cut at a new salon. Before I could intervene the hairdresser cut my hair dry with razors and took a LOT of hair off even though it was already above shoulder. As for my curls, they don’t particularily curl at the crown, only form at around earlength but lhave a nice bulk and form to them. I would consider my hair a looser curl pattern with tighter ringlets around the face and waviebig ringlets parts at the back.
Well… now after my cut, my hair curls at the font like so so, but the back… and the underlayers of my hair are pinstraight. I feel like as time goes by (it has been 1 month since the cut) my pattern gets looser and looser and my ringlets don’t form anymore. After a night’s sleep my hair is straight and not curly anymore. And super dry and frizzy. Some strands are just straight and tangling around without any support. The front pieces are now about below earlength and the back is well a ratstail. Any advise on what to do as to prevent more breakage until I can cut my hair again, because cutting it now with all the short parts, it would just be a pixie cut. It looks a bit like Rapunzel the Disney movie when she cut all her hair off and everything just stands in all possible directions… Thank you in advance.
submitted by luzikapuzi to curlyhair [link] [comments]
Well… now after my cut, my hair curls at the font like so so, but the back… and the underlayers of my hair are pinstraight. I feel like as time goes by (it has been 1 month since the cut) my pattern gets looser and looser and my ringlets don’t form anymore. After a night’s sleep my hair is straight and not curly anymore. And super dry and frizzy. Some strands are just straight and tangling around without any support. The front pieces are now about below earlength and the back is well a ratstail. Any advise on what to do as to prevent more breakage until I can cut my hair again, because cutting it now with all the short parts, it would just be a pixie cut. It looks a bit like Rapunzel the Disney movie when she cut all her hair off and everything just stands in all possible directions… Thank you in advance.
2024.05.13 22:43 SpaceMaster21 Birth Control
I got my depo shot today around 11am. Last time I gotten it was back in July 23’. Now I don’t feel good. I’m really moody, more depressed, irritated, and just tired with no energy. I wasn’t feeling this way, this morning, before getting the shot. Is this normal for getting back on BC?
submitted by SpaceMaster21 to birthcontrol [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 22:42 newyork0120 The Met Gaia Is The Latest Casualty As Leftist Protesters Turn On Their Masters
Every year I’m confronted with the decision of whether to talk about the Met Gala. And it can be a tough decision if I’m being totally honest - on one hand, it’s always easy to point and laugh at rich Leftists wearing weird costumes and making fools out of themselves; on the other hand, it’s gotten way too easy to do that, and as far as celebrity freak shows go, the Met Gala is sort of like the Oscars at this point: its supposed “unpredictability” is now cliche, its zaniness is now boring. Unless mayhem breaks out—say, like an actor slaps the presenter live on-stage or something like that—then the truth is that no one really cares about any of these events anymore - in fact, I’m still not even sure what the Met Gala is. All I know is that the celebrities dress strangely and then go into I guess a big museum. What do they do inside the museum? Is there some kind of award ceremony? Is it a dance? Is it like celebrity prom or something? Do they sacrifice a live goat and drink its blood while chanting satanic curses? Is it some combination of these things? Nobody knows for sure. And most of all, nobody cares.
But fortunately, something interesting did happen at the Met Gala last week, or at least outside of it. Mobs of pro-Palestine demonstrators, apparently bored of their tent cities on college campuses, slowly marched through Manhattan towards the Met, and when they arrived, they tore down the police barricades and flooded the street.
Just for fun, here’s Lizzo dressed like something that you might find inside an unflushed toilet at Panda Express, and that’s what she wore to the Met Gala while riots raged outside in a clash of poor commies versus rich commies, as Peachy Keenan put it. These riots should also bring to mind I think some immediate logistical considerations that the Democratic Party now has to think about - for one thing, it’s safe to say that planning for the Democratic National Convention is going through some last-minute revisions right about now. Just imagine being in charge of security for the DNC; you’re gonna need bigger barricades than they had at the Met, and probably a lot more cops.
But more barricades and cops aren’t gonna fix the underlying problem that the Democratic Party has created here. There’s now a full-on uprising on the Left against the elitism that Democrats have long embraced - and the media is getting involved, too. Yahoo, for example, has already turned on the Met Gala; they just published a piece declaring, “The Met Gala’s Opulence Is Always Gross. This Year, It’s Obscene.”
Now, the whole article is a rant that hits a crescendo with this paragraph, which is probably the single-longest run-on sentence I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Here it is, this whole thing is one sentence, just so you know:
In any event, that whole massive paragraph could be summed up as saying, “We’re living through late-stage capitalism right now.” That’s what the Left-wing media is saying. That’s the way that they are framing this, and of course, “late-stage capitalism” is one of their favorite phrases to use these days. And they used to celebrate the Met Gala, but not anymore. Now they’re saying the same thing the demonstrators are, which is that the frivolous elite are partying while Rome burns—which they are, of course—and they’re furious about it, or pretending to be.
Now, what the media and these demonstrators don’t want to admit is that the elitists at this gala—all the celebrities who are dressed like slutty Star Wars villains and so on—are on their team. The celebrities are part of the ruling class, the protesters and media critics are its products and in some cases quite literally its offspring. Now, to be sure, the celebrities and college administrators and the politicians are reluctant to acknowledge that their own Frankenstein monster is turning against them, but that’s exactly what’s happening.
Remember that it was two years ago that AOC showed up to the Met Gala with a “Tax the Rich” gown. There were a bunch of sympathetic news stories highlighting her bravery at the time, and here’s how AOC justified showing up to an event that costs $300,000 per table while equipped with a custom dress, handbag, shoes and jewelry costing more than $2,000.
Her whole schtick was always hypocritical and disingenuous, of course, but it turns out that Leftist activists were listening to this rhetoric, I guess, they were taking it seriously, we’ve seen this a lot lately. When Chuck Schumer threatened Supreme Court justices, Leftists showed up at the justices’ homes; when the White House claimed that “trans kids” were being abused, a Leftist shot and killed Christians; when Democrats accused Israel of “genocide,” college students occupied university buildings; now two years after AOC attacked the Met, leftist gathered outside of the building.
This is the escalation that Democrats have primed this country for; it’s now in progress, whether Democrats intended it to happen to THEM or not—which, of course, they didn’t—but that’s not to say that ruling elites are going to roll over and let this happen. I mean, as you saw in that footage, the cops showed up in force and started making arrests the very second that protestors trespassed through the barricades in front of the Met. They were on the scene immediately.
Now, that’s kind of a noticeable contrast when compare it to other things like when these people set up encampments on college campuses, they were given in most cases a few days, maybe a week, before the cops moved in; when they looted and burned poor neighborhoods, they were given about three months to inflict carnage before anyone did anything about it; but when they showed up at the Met Gala, they were given three SECONDS before the arrests started. So it really shows you kind of how the hierarchy works.
The Democrats can’t protect the rest of the country from these mobs, nor do they intend to. So last night, in addition to creating a scene at the Met Gala, Leftists also vandalized a World War I memorial in New York and torched an American flag in front of it.
So please note, again, the contrast, the hierarchy, and the fact that this was happening at the exact same time as the Met Gala thing - REALLY shows you where the priorities are when you notice what kinds of illegal demonstrations the police will stop and which demonstrations they’ll allow to continue. The mob can deface World War I memorials all they want because in doing so, they’re communicating their hatred for this country and everything it stands for. So the Democrats who run New York aren’t going to stop them. But the mob isn’t allowed to inconvenience celebrities at the Met under any circumstances.
The point is that this is the hierarchy that Democrats clearly want to enforce. The trouble is getting the mob to RESPECT the hierarchy, and the Democrats are having trouble with that at the moment.
Yet they still seem oblivious, the Democrats are—or acting oblivious, at least—to the fact that they created this monster themselves, and that’s why inside the Met, as chaos unfolded outside, the party continued uninterrupted, and so did all of this associated weirdness, which was as off-putting as it’s ever been - take for example this decoy costume worn by someone using the name “Karol G.” Now, apparently she wanted to keep her real costume a secret, so earlier in the evening, she sported this beige umbrella-looking lampshade thing instead.
Now, imagine being a hardcore, AOC-loving Leftist who sees this - Democrats have spent the last several years telling you to despise rich people and commit crimes in the name of political activism, and then down the street from your hippy commune at the local university, some celebrity is walking around in a lampshade costume which probably costs $50,000 or something, and the entire Democratic Party establishment is pretending that it’s all normal. What do you do? How would you view the Democratic Party establishment after seeing this?
Now, as for the costume itself, of course, it’s clearly a bid for attention, and I guess it worked—I’m talking about it—but it’s not even an original idea - as a lot of people have pointed out, the outfit bears a striking resemblance to a certain shower curtain costume from the film “Karate Kid,” only with different colors, so there’s really no redeeming qualities whatsoever here, it’s a total debacle all around.
But to be fair, there was at least some originality on display last night - for example, this celebrity apparently walked through a wind tunnel full of roses somewhere before arriving at the Met, and for her trouble, Vogue named her as one of the best-dressed women of the evening.
We can assume again that this… woman?… paid many thousands of dollars for that outfit, which is just a trench coat with flower peddles and glitter glued onto it. It really looks like something a four-year-old girl might make. As everybody knows, in the mind of a four-year-old girl, anything and everything can be made prettier with copious amounts of glitter and flowers, which is a fine mentality for a small child; doesn’t translate very well in this case. And as self-congratulatory as it is, again, there’s no self-awareness whatsoever - it’s almost as if the entire purpose of the event is to celebrate the elites’ total inability to detect how preposterous, self-absorbed, and laughable they are.
An this is nothing new, it’s been the case since the Met Gala was established, it’s always been a mini-theater of the absurd. What’s changed is that the voting base of the Democratic Party isn’t laughing along with these clowns as much anymore. They turned against the universities; now they’ve turned against Hollywood. What the protesters of course don’t understand is that they have inherited their own worldview and everything they believe from these very institutions and these very people.
Hollywood and Academia don’t realize that they’re being attacked by their own Frankenstein, but the Frankenstein monster also doesn’t realize that it IS the Frankenstein monster. And if Frankenstein ever wakes up to that fact, well then the ruling class will really be in trouble.
submitted by newyork0120 to Rants [link] [comments]
But fortunately, something interesting did happen at the Met Gala last week, or at least outside of it. Mobs of pro-Palestine demonstrators, apparently bored of their tent cities on college campuses, slowly marched through Manhattan towards the Met, and when they arrived, they tore down the police barricades and flooded the street.
Just for fun, here’s Lizzo dressed like something that you might find inside an unflushed toilet at Panda Express, and that’s what she wore to the Met Gala while riots raged outside in a clash of poor commies versus rich commies, as Peachy Keenan put it. These riots should also bring to mind I think some immediate logistical considerations that the Democratic Party now has to think about - for one thing, it’s safe to say that planning for the Democratic National Convention is going through some last-minute revisions right about now. Just imagine being in charge of security for the DNC; you’re gonna need bigger barricades than they had at the Met, and probably a lot more cops.
But more barricades and cops aren’t gonna fix the underlying problem that the Democratic Party has created here. There’s now a full-on uprising on the Left against the elitism that Democrats have long embraced - and the media is getting involved, too. Yahoo, for example, has already turned on the Met Gala; they just published a piece declaring, “The Met Gala’s Opulence Is Always Gross. This Year, It’s Obscene.”
Now, the whole article is a rant that hits a crescendo with this paragraph, which is probably the single-longest run-on sentence I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Here it is, this whole thing is one sentence, just so you know:
Even in an era filled with the horrors of late-stage capitalism run amok—bipartisan support for genocide; rolling back of reproductive, civil, and voting rights; a threadbare social safety net; decades of wage stagnation; tax cuts for the the rich; the crushing of unions and labor rights; expansion of the militarized police surveillance state; creeping techno-authoritarianism; untested, unregulated, and unchecked A.I.; entrenched racial inequality and injustice; right-wing and white supremacist extremist violence; and Boeing jet parts falling from the sky like so many dead whistleblowers—that kind of frivolous urgency promises that this year’s event nonetheless will stand out as a vainglorious display of self-congratulatory decadence and tone-deaf extravagance.Now, first of all, just as a stylistic matter, if you’re going to make a sentence that long, it needs to be coherent. And “Boeing jet parts are falling from the sky like so many dead whistleblowers?” That doesn’t even make sense; the dead whistleblowers didn’t fall from the sky. I mean, they’re not being pushed out planes. One of them shot himself allegedly and the other died of an illness. Now, even if you subscribe to the theory that Boeing’s hitmen killed these whistleblowers—which, who knows, maybe they did—the fact remains that they didn’t fall from the sky. They died on the ground, so the metaphor just doesn’t work. And this is the problem you get into with 100-word sentences: eventually, you just lose track of what you’re saying.
In any event, that whole massive paragraph could be summed up as saying, “We’re living through late-stage capitalism right now.” That’s what the Left-wing media is saying. That’s the way that they are framing this, and of course, “late-stage capitalism” is one of their favorite phrases to use these days. And they used to celebrate the Met Gala, but not anymore. Now they’re saying the same thing the demonstrators are, which is that the frivolous elite are partying while Rome burns—which they are, of course—and they’re furious about it, or pretending to be.
Now, what the media and these demonstrators don’t want to admit is that the elitists at this gala—all the celebrities who are dressed like slutty Star Wars villains and so on—are on their team. The celebrities are part of the ruling class, the protesters and media critics are its products and in some cases quite literally its offspring. Now, to be sure, the celebrities and college administrators and the politicians are reluctant to acknowledge that their own Frankenstein monster is turning against them, but that’s exactly what’s happening.
Remember that it was two years ago that AOC showed up to the Met Gala with a “Tax the Rich” gown. There were a bunch of sympathetic news stories highlighting her bravery at the time, and here’s how AOC justified showing up to an event that costs $300,000 per table while equipped with a custom dress, handbag, shoes and jewelry costing more than $2,000.
REPORTER: “You know this dress has a message for this Met Gala, tell me about what that is.”It’s a really important conversation, AOC says, some people aren’t ready to hear it, but we need to punish rich people, we need to make them as uncomfortable as possible, we need to take their money, and that was the message from AOC, who not incidentally, grew up in a very well-off suburb.
AOC: “You know, I made a message, it says ’Tax the Rich’ right there, uh, it’s really about having a real conversation about fairness and equity in our system, and I think that this conversation is particularly relevant as we debate over budget and reconciliation down. What we’re talking about, providing working families with child care, healthcare, and meeting the climate crisis [unintelligible]* it deserves. … I think that ultimately, you know, we’re at a very critical point. I think there are some folks who are starting to really understand that this is a very critical conversation for us to be having right now. Other folks have invested interest in not having that conversation, but our point is to keep organizing and keep it going.”*
Her whole schtick was always hypocritical and disingenuous, of course, but it turns out that Leftist activists were listening to this rhetoric, I guess, they were taking it seriously, we’ve seen this a lot lately. When Chuck Schumer threatened Supreme Court justices, Leftists showed up at the justices’ homes; when the White House claimed that “trans kids” were being abused, a Leftist shot and killed Christians; when Democrats accused Israel of “genocide,” college students occupied university buildings; now two years after AOC attacked the Met, leftist gathered outside of the building.
This is the escalation that Democrats have primed this country for; it’s now in progress, whether Democrats intended it to happen to THEM or not—which, of course, they didn’t—but that’s not to say that ruling elites are going to roll over and let this happen. I mean, as you saw in that footage, the cops showed up in force and started making arrests the very second that protestors trespassed through the barricades in front of the Met. They were on the scene immediately.
Now, that’s kind of a noticeable contrast when compare it to other things like when these people set up encampments on college campuses, they were given in most cases a few days, maybe a week, before the cops moved in; when they looted and burned poor neighborhoods, they were given about three months to inflict carnage before anyone did anything about it; but when they showed up at the Met Gala, they were given three SECONDS before the arrests started. So it really shows you kind of how the hierarchy works.
The Democrats can’t protect the rest of the country from these mobs, nor do they intend to. So last night, in addition to creating a scene at the Met Gala, Leftists also vandalized a World War I memorial in New York and torched an American flag in front of it.
So please note, again, the contrast, the hierarchy, and the fact that this was happening at the exact same time as the Met Gala thing - REALLY shows you where the priorities are when you notice what kinds of illegal demonstrations the police will stop and which demonstrations they’ll allow to continue. The mob can deface World War I memorials all they want because in doing so, they’re communicating their hatred for this country and everything it stands for. So the Democrats who run New York aren’t going to stop them. But the mob isn’t allowed to inconvenience celebrities at the Met under any circumstances.
The point is that this is the hierarchy that Democrats clearly want to enforce. The trouble is getting the mob to RESPECT the hierarchy, and the Democrats are having trouble with that at the moment.
Yet they still seem oblivious, the Democrats are—or acting oblivious, at least—to the fact that they created this monster themselves, and that’s why inside the Met, as chaos unfolded outside, the party continued uninterrupted, and so did all of this associated weirdness, which was as off-putting as it’s ever been - take for example this decoy costume worn by someone using the name “Karol G.” Now, apparently she wanted to keep her real costume a secret, so earlier in the evening, she sported this beige umbrella-looking lampshade thing instead.
Now, imagine being a hardcore, AOC-loving Leftist who sees this - Democrats have spent the last several years telling you to despise rich people and commit crimes in the name of political activism, and then down the street from your hippy commune at the local university, some celebrity is walking around in a lampshade costume which probably costs $50,000 or something, and the entire Democratic Party establishment is pretending that it’s all normal. What do you do? How would you view the Democratic Party establishment after seeing this?
Now, as for the costume itself, of course, it’s clearly a bid for attention, and I guess it worked—I’m talking about it—but it’s not even an original idea - as a lot of people have pointed out, the outfit bears a striking resemblance to a certain shower curtain costume from the film “Karate Kid,” only with different colors, so there’s really no redeeming qualities whatsoever here, it’s a total debacle all around.
But to be fair, there was at least some originality on display last night - for example, this celebrity apparently walked through a wind tunnel full of roses somewhere before arriving at the Met, and for her trouble, Vogue named her as one of the best-dressed women of the evening.
We can assume again that this… woman?… paid many thousands of dollars for that outfit, which is just a trench coat with flower peddles and glitter glued onto it. It really looks like something a four-year-old girl might make. As everybody knows, in the mind of a four-year-old girl, anything and everything can be made prettier with copious amounts of glitter and flowers, which is a fine mentality for a small child; doesn’t translate very well in this case. And as self-congratulatory as it is, again, there’s no self-awareness whatsoever - it’s almost as if the entire purpose of the event is to celebrate the elites’ total inability to detect how preposterous, self-absorbed, and laughable they are.
An this is nothing new, it’s been the case since the Met Gala was established, it’s always been a mini-theater of the absurd. What’s changed is that the voting base of the Democratic Party isn’t laughing along with these clowns as much anymore. They turned against the universities; now they’ve turned against Hollywood. What the protesters of course don’t understand is that they have inherited their own worldview and everything they believe from these very institutions and these very people.
Hollywood and Academia don’t realize that they’re being attacked by their own Frankenstein, but the Frankenstein monster also doesn’t realize that it IS the Frankenstein monster. And if Frankenstein ever wakes up to that fact, well then the ruling class will really be in trouble.
2024.05.13 22:41 DUNGAROO PenFed closed my loan in 14 days
My wife and I recently purchased in a VERY competitive housing market (Northern Virginia) where offering tight closing timelines has become such a well-established norm it's basically expected because of how much leverage sellers have here. Throughout the process, our Realtor had encouraged us to use a small local lender, if not his guy then a comparable shop because of their ability to close quickly which would give our offer an edge up. (In addition to waiving all contingencies and basically assuming all risk, which is the norm for buyers here) He told us to avoid large banks and credit unions because though their rates can be competitive they are overly-bureaucratic and generally can't close a loan in 14 or 21 days. While we were shopping I had been in talks with a diverse set of lenders (PenFed Credit Union, a broker, Guaranteed Rate, 2 local mortgage lenders and 1 local small bank) and I'm not sure if it's just our particular risk profile or loan type but PenFed always came out on top for us by a wide margin. They also allowed us to lock our rate before we were even under contract, something I did the Monday before the March CPI figures were released and rates shot back up. Once we were finally under contract I weighed all my options and the closest comparable option was one of the local Mortgage shops which was still 0.5% higher with comparable points/origination fees, about $345/month more expensive. Most options were much higher than even that. So I took a deep breath and we went ahead with PenFed.
We offered a 21 day close. PenFed did their job so quickly we were able to close in 14.
So yeah, don't let your Realtor bully you into using their affiliated lender if it's going to cost you substantially more. Always shop around and if you have a better deal and you've studied the potential outcomes, go with what works best for you. I do know that not everyone has had such a stellar experience closing quickly with credit unions and PenFed in particular, but I can tell you the processor I worked with was on top of her game and would be happy to share the contact information of our LO so you can get setup with the same team.
submitted by DUNGAROO to RealEstate [link] [comments]
We offered a 21 day close. PenFed did their job so quickly we were able to close in 14.
So yeah, don't let your Realtor bully you into using their affiliated lender if it's going to cost you substantially more. Always shop around and if you have a better deal and you've studied the potential outcomes, go with what works best for you. I do know that not everyone has had such a stellar experience closing quickly with credit unions and PenFed in particular, but I can tell you the processor I worked with was on top of her game and would be happy to share the contact information of our LO so you can get setup with the same team.
2024.05.13 22:41 Philosophriend Is my (32M) relationship with my girlfriend (29F) officially over?
TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
submitted by Philosophriend to relationships [link] [comments]
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
2024.05.13 22:40 groundfairy Cat scratch/bite(?)
I was going for a walk last night and saw a cat on the path so I called it over. It rubbed all over my legs and seemed like a normal, friendly cat. I was petting it and it rolled over and I made the mistake of trying to pet its belly (I know) and it did the thing cats do where they grab your arm with their mouth and rabbit kick you. And then went back to wanting to be petted. I was wearing a light sweater so the only marks my arm were one light scratch that didn’t bleed and is barely visible today and one other tiny scratch that’s so small I can’t be sure it’s not from the cat’s tooth (also surface level and did not bleed).
I live in France which is considered a rabies free country and this occurred in a wealthy neighborhood of a midsized city. The cat wasn’t wearing a collar but looked very clean and healthy so I don’t think it was a stray. I washed my arm with soap and water once I got home less than an hour later.
I didn’t think much of it until my friend (who is from India) asked if I was going to get a rabies shot, which I never have before. Normally I would think this is no big deal, but I have had some health issues recently that are making me much more anxious than usual.
Do I need to seek any medical attention or vaccine? Given that there is supposedly no rabies in France, the cat seemed healthy, and my wounds were very superficial it seems like there is practically no risk to me. But after my friend said this I’ve been worried and thinking about it all day even convincing myself that my arm feels funny (it only feels like that when I’m thinking about it). Thanks for any advice.
submitted by groundfairy to rabies [link] [comments]
I live in France which is considered a rabies free country and this occurred in a wealthy neighborhood of a midsized city. The cat wasn’t wearing a collar but looked very clean and healthy so I don’t think it was a stray. I washed my arm with soap and water once I got home less than an hour later.
I didn’t think much of it until my friend (who is from India) asked if I was going to get a rabies shot, which I never have before. Normally I would think this is no big deal, but I have had some health issues recently that are making me much more anxious than usual.
Do I need to seek any medical attention or vaccine? Given that there is supposedly no rabies in France, the cat seemed healthy, and my wounds were very superficial it seems like there is practically no risk to me. But after my friend said this I’ve been worried and thinking about it all day even convincing myself that my arm feels funny (it only feels like that when I’m thinking about it). Thanks for any advice.
2024.05.13 22:40 Jumpy-Archer-2370 How can I get around this?
Synopsis: So I got Santos Neymar a few months back and at the time I was new to the game so I gave him some additional Skills. I gave him 5 additional skills. I had the idea to play him on the wings at the time.
https://preview.redd.it/4bh2pff1790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=e347c49e4bdb66cb51a6f4c3bcb4fa2a639d20b8
So few months go by, I am now a better and more experienced player. So I decided to give this guy a try again at LWF and CF. I quickly start finding myself in positions that require me to shoot a curling or controlled shot, and surprisingly he misses quite a few. Not saved or blocked, straight-up narrow misses at the far post. I was confused coz my old GP LWF Son Curls is better than that.
https://preview.redd.it/u03v7y7l790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ebdbaaaf4f73fcb3d738c180d945a871d9c75022
https://preview.redd.it/dpocmwv4890d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c85ed8bb7be5dd5ff52cc5af95a2006a3af1c8d
When I did my investigation, I realized this Neymar didn't have a Long-Range-Curler. So I did the usual and tried giving him this skill, but I was hit with a realization that you can't legacy Transfer to a player with 5 additional skills. Legacy Transfer is greyed out.
https://preview.redd.it/taxxl6nw690d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce8d76f8309ed22515dbcdb3b5deec44dc9fbdae
I have wasted up to ten (10) Skill tokens trying to get him this skill but to no avail. I don't want to waste the most valuable currency in Efootball any further
So I wanted to know if you guys know how to get around this. Coz for such a deadly finisher, it is sad that he has such a flaw.
submitted by Jumpy-Archer-2370 to pesmobile [link] [comments]
https://preview.redd.it/4bh2pff1790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=e347c49e4bdb66cb51a6f4c3bcb4fa2a639d20b8
So few months go by, I am now a better and more experienced player. So I decided to give this guy a try again at LWF and CF. I quickly start finding myself in positions that require me to shoot a curling or controlled shot, and surprisingly he misses quite a few. Not saved or blocked, straight-up narrow misses at the far post. I was confused coz my old GP LWF Son Curls is better than that.
https://preview.redd.it/u03v7y7l790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ebdbaaaf4f73fcb3d738c180d945a871d9c75022
https://preview.redd.it/dpocmwv4890d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c85ed8bb7be5dd5ff52cc5af95a2006a3af1c8d
When I did my investigation, I realized this Neymar didn't have a Long-Range-Curler. So I did the usual and tried giving him this skill, but I was hit with a realization that you can't legacy Transfer to a player with 5 additional skills. Legacy Transfer is greyed out.
https://preview.redd.it/taxxl6nw690d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce8d76f8309ed22515dbcdb3b5deec44dc9fbdae
I have wasted up to ten (10) Skill tokens trying to get him this skill but to no avail. I don't want to waste the most valuable currency in Efootball any further
So I wanted to know if you guys know how to get around this. Coz for such a deadly finisher, it is sad that he has such a flaw.
2024.05.13 22:38 Jumpy-Archer-2370 I there anyway around this?
 | Synopsis: So I got Santos Neymar a few months back and at the time I was new to the game so I gave him some additional Skills. I gave him 5 additional skills. I had the idea to play him on the wings at the time. submitted by Jumpy-Archer-2370 to eFootball [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/4bh2pff1790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=e347c49e4bdb66cb51a6f4c3bcb4fa2a639d20b8 So few months go by, I am now a better and more experienced player. So I decided to give this guy a try again at LWF and CF. I quickly start finding myself in positions that require me to shoot a curling or controlled shot, and surprisingly he misses quite a few. Not saved or blocked, straight-up narrow misses at the far post. I was confused coz my old GP LWF Son Curls is better than that. https://preview.redd.it/u03v7y7l790d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ebdbaaaf4f73fcb3d738c180d945a871d9c75022 https://preview.redd.it/dpocmwv4890d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c85ed8bb7be5dd5ff52cc5af95a2006a3af1c8d When I did my investigation, I realized this Neymar didn't have a Long-Range-Curler. So I did the usual and tried giving him this skill, but I was hit with a realization that you can't legacy Transfer to a player with 5 additional skills. Legacy Transfer is greyed out. https://preview.redd.it/taxxl6nw690d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce8d76f8309ed22515dbcdb3b5deec44dc9fbdae I have wasted up to ten (10) Skill tokens trying to get him this skill but to no avail. I don't want to waste the most valuable currency in Efootball any further So I wanted to know if you guys know how to get around this. Coz for such a deadly finisher, it is sad that he has such a flaw. |
2024.05.13 22:37 Philosophriend Is my (32M) relationship with my girlfriend (29F) officially over?
TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
submitted by Philosophriend to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
2024.05.13 22:35 Philosophriend Is my (32M) relationship with my girlfriend (29F) officially over?
TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
submitted by Philosophriend to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?
2024.05.13 22:34 Writteninsanity [WP] A few years into the future, they invent a device than can convert someone’s thoughts into text.
When Calicorp revealed the MyndsEye at a Tech Summit, people laughed it off. It seemed dumb. Reckless even, but they underestimated how much money could get put into something that told the richest people in the world that their every thought was important enough to put to paper.
Why waste time on a podcast when you can just hire a team to filter and publish every interesting thought you have during the day? Hell, if you have a Podcast now, you had a new Patreon perk. Suddenly every Silicon Valley Bro who’d made their money of Bitcoin and Protein Power had a MyndsEye feed spewing shit out into the internet at the literal speed of thought.
Or at least the speed of thought, with a three-minute delay for filtering and correction.
That was the thing about the MyndsEye. It only marketed to people who figured they were smart and interesting enough to publish their ‘unfiltered’ thoughts, but thoughts were unfiltered and messy bullshit. Humans didn’t think in perfect paragraphs and precise prose. It was messy. It was viceral. It was... unfortunately, honest in a lot of cases.
That was where we came in.
Learn the Stenograph and sign several thousand NDAs and you could make a comfortable living learning all of Elon’s secrets and filtering them out before they reached the public. Delete your social media accounts and you could see every nasty thought a Kardashian had in the middle of an interview.
It was weird work, but considering recent inflation? Certainly paid more than public courts.
Helen hovered over our team, staring at the massive screen on the wall. She was a witch of a woman, and I felt bad for anyone wicked when I called her that. She’d been the one with the idea of starting a filtering firm.
You could probably picture something about the personality of a woman who’d start a business like that.
“Alright people, we’re live in 30 seconds. Dropping to a two-minute delay to match the interview time, so I want those hands hot. Nothing gets through. Charlotte through Michael, you’re on filtering and correction. Gabby and Nate, you’re on injection. I want this man to radiate innocence.”
I frowned at that. This was a first for our firm. Our client, who I was under too many NDAs to even consider naming, was getting interviewed about recent allegations from former employees. It was our job to ensure that, no matter what they thought and what they knew, they didn’t incriminate themselves.
Honestly, they deserved to, for being arrogant enough to accept this interview while having a live feed of their thoughts to the internet, but I didn’t get paid to take a moral stance. I made my cash typing the right things into people’s heads, and I needed that cash with Lori, expecting again.
Charlotte shot me a sympathetic look. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.
Three.
Two.
One.
The feed sparked to life, and we were already playing catch up. Apparently, the pre-interview conversation had gotten our client thinking about the accusations. Within seconds, I understood that they’d done it; they didn’t regret it, and that the accuser wasn’t the only person they’d done it to.
Stenographs didn’t click as much as they tapped... and there were no taps in the room as everyone on the correction team furiously read what was coming through the feed.
The quiet dragged on for seconds. It felt like minutes. Then hours. Then years.
Were we really going to erase all of this? Just let him lie up on the air and back up those lies with false innocent thoughts? I couldn’t do that. Could I raise twins in a world where I was complicit in...
I couldn’t afford to raise them unemployed because I’d stayed on my moral high horse.
The silence dragged on; we were burning our feed time. Almost too far behind. Now or never.
Now.
People followed once I started working. Joining me in filtering out the incriminating thoughts and letting the team to our right replace them with kind words and passionate pleas. Once I’d broken the ice, they were all fine joining the wrong side of history. They just didn’t want to lead us into it.
If I could afford a good life for my girls. I’d find a way to sleep at night. Even with everything I knew.
submitted by Writteninsanity to JacksonWrites [link] [comments]
Why waste time on a podcast when you can just hire a team to filter and publish every interesting thought you have during the day? Hell, if you have a Podcast now, you had a new Patreon perk. Suddenly every Silicon Valley Bro who’d made their money of Bitcoin and Protein Power had a MyndsEye feed spewing shit out into the internet at the literal speed of thought.
Or at least the speed of thought, with a three-minute delay for filtering and correction.
That was the thing about the MyndsEye. It only marketed to people who figured they were smart and interesting enough to publish their ‘unfiltered’ thoughts, but thoughts were unfiltered and messy bullshit. Humans didn’t think in perfect paragraphs and precise prose. It was messy. It was viceral. It was... unfortunately, honest in a lot of cases.
That was where we came in.
Learn the Stenograph and sign several thousand NDAs and you could make a comfortable living learning all of Elon’s secrets and filtering them out before they reached the public. Delete your social media accounts and you could see every nasty thought a Kardashian had in the middle of an interview.
It was weird work, but considering recent inflation? Certainly paid more than public courts.
Helen hovered over our team, staring at the massive screen on the wall. She was a witch of a woman, and I felt bad for anyone wicked when I called her that. She’d been the one with the idea of starting a filtering firm.
You could probably picture something about the personality of a woman who’d start a business like that.
“Alright people, we’re live in 30 seconds. Dropping to a two-minute delay to match the interview time, so I want those hands hot. Nothing gets through. Charlotte through Michael, you’re on filtering and correction. Gabby and Nate, you’re on injection. I want this man to radiate innocence.”
I frowned at that. This was a first for our firm. Our client, who I was under too many NDAs to even consider naming, was getting interviewed about recent allegations from former employees. It was our job to ensure that, no matter what they thought and what they knew, they didn’t incriminate themselves.
Honestly, they deserved to, for being arrogant enough to accept this interview while having a live feed of their thoughts to the internet, but I didn’t get paid to take a moral stance. I made my cash typing the right things into people’s heads, and I needed that cash with Lori, expecting again.
Charlotte shot me a sympathetic look. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.
Three.
Two.
One.
The feed sparked to life, and we were already playing catch up. Apparently, the pre-interview conversation had gotten our client thinking about the accusations. Within seconds, I understood that they’d done it; they didn’t regret it, and that the accuser wasn’t the only person they’d done it to.
Stenographs didn’t click as much as they tapped... and there were no taps in the room as everyone on the correction team furiously read what was coming through the feed.
The quiet dragged on for seconds. It felt like minutes. Then hours. Then years.
Were we really going to erase all of this? Just let him lie up on the air and back up those lies with false innocent thoughts? I couldn’t do that. Could I raise twins in a world where I was complicit in...
I couldn’t afford to raise them unemployed because I’d stayed on my moral high horse.
The silence dragged on; we were burning our feed time. Almost too far behind. Now or never.
Now.
People followed once I started working. Joining me in filtering out the incriminating thoughts and letting the team to our right replace them with kind words and passionate pleas. Once I’d broken the ice, they were all fine joining the wrong side of history. They just didn’t want to lead us into it.
If I could afford a good life for my girls. I’d find a way to sleep at night. Even with everything I knew.
2024.05.13 22:34 Odd_Idea_2058 Make Believe Story Cause I’m Bored
My name is Michael the Alien, and this is my story. It makes no sense, but that’s the nature of a fiction story. Nothing has to make sense on the Internet. sometimes, it can be alien to you. I grew up in a small town on Mars, and I got married. Later in the marriage, everyone was fighting to get me away from my best friend because she was different, and her personality was foreign to them. She was told that she had something called Mars Madness, but another person later said differently. One day, a Mars Marshall was called because of an incident. I told the Marshall that she was declared to have Mars madness, but the assumption was later reversed. He left the second half of that out of his notes. She is mad at me to this day because she is only going off the Notes, but I wish she would watch the Marshall’s video. I recommended a records request light years ago, but maybe those don’t stick around too long because they float away in Mars. One day, we had a fight,and I left the house to cool my head with a friend for a few hours. Mars has a ton of water, so I walked to my friend’s boat. The fish were dangerous, but I accidentally left my solar sword in its lockbox. When I climbed on my friend’s boat, he took me to get space ice cream, and my parent came for the ride. I plugged my communication device in to charge, and it was soon gone. “My dream came true,” someone told me on my friend’s phone. “You’re out of there.” I was then taken to a space station that was away from where normal space traffic would pass through. I had no communication device. After demanding my device for two weeks, I finally got it back with restrictions. “If you don’t stay away from that toxic fish-infested house, you will end up in a different universe,” a deep voice boomed as I got my phone. A fellow Alien read and responded to my messages on my behalf, until one of the friends, who I used to be with, asked to speak to me over the phone. I was allowed to do so as I was thoroughly coached on what to say. Boy, was cooling my head a bad idea… Meanwhile, I learned that a day after my new life began, my best friend called a Mars Marshall to my parent’s house. The Marshall was told where I was, but everyone told him to only tell her that I was fine. I had also learned that on the day I went to clear my head, my friend texted my phone with a farewell message to my best friend, then copied and pasted it to her with my device. I sent screen shots of that to my old girlfriend. Somewhere along the way, I was taken to a building to sign a few moon-lit documents as they tried to float away from me. Before we ever did that, my friend was feverishly typing on his space computer. I later learned that it was on my behalf for the papers that said, “I pushed you away in space, now stay in motion away from me.” A Mars Marshall delivered the writing to my best friend. At least I didn’t end up in a black hole somewhere.
submitted by Odd_Idea_2058 to HorrorShortStories [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 22:33 Tigra21 Hunter or Huntress Chapter 189: Reporting In
As the world faded away into nothing but a dark void, Tom felt the only mildly familiar sensation of magic flowing like a gentle stream. It wasn’t much of a draw, but it was certainly noticeable.
“Right, best make this quick then,” he tried thinking to himself, feeling the flow peak as he did.
“Who is this? Make what quick?” an ethereal sounding female voice replied. It did sound a bit like how he remembered Joelina sounding. Though she did not exactly sound calm.
“Uhm… Hello? Anyone there?”
“Yes hello. Who is this? What must be done quick? Answer me at once!”
“It’s Tom… Is that you, Joelina?”
“Yes of course it is! Stupid dragons taking ages, I have questions for you! So many questiiioooonssss...”
“Yeah I figured that… Fire away I suppose.” Tom replied a little uncertainly as to just what he might be in for.
“Firstly! Did you read the letters?”
“I did yeah…”
“Disregard them, I have learned much since they were written! So much more yes, cursed blessed knowledge…”
“So you do know we have gone to space then?”
“What? No, I re-experienced the memory you had of the movie about the moon mission. It was evident on the second watching that it was trickery of the eye! Spaceflight is but a myth!”
“Riiight.”
“Then how have your kind visited space? And what of the gods above!? it was evident that the woman with the crystals was but a fraud!” Joelina explained with all the calm and restraint of a shoppingmall Karen
“Well the rockets to the moon, that did happen.” Tom attempted, doing his best to remain calm and diplomatic. “The movie you saw was probably a recreation… Tell me, did things go wrong on that trip but they made it home anyway?”
“Yes, do you know of what I speak? Ahr what am I proclaiming! of course you do it is your own memories, how could I forget.”
“Yea…, you watched a movie about Apollo 13 I think. Good movie, and that all happened too. Like for real happened”
“I see…” Joelina replied, sounding rather unstable. “And what of the gods?”
“We ain’t got any. Well not in space at least.”
“Impossible!”
“No, quite possible. Many still believe in gods though, but let’s not get into that too much. It’s a right old mess.”
“No, you must tell me what happened to the gods? Have they left you?”
“Well some think so, but no. I just think it all works a bit different for us. They might be a little more hands off.”
“But the churches… and these religious warriors you did battle with,” the inquisitor all but muttered to herself, sounding like she was struggling to put pieces together. “Do Jesus and Islam fight for power then? no no, they would have long since lost the battles to the ancient gods of war the teachers spoke of… though why they were always naked eludes me yeeees…”
“No, again we don’t really have gods just floating around... Could we please talk about something else? Or is that all you wanted to know?” Tom tried, hoping he really didn’t have to dive deeper into that particular subject.
“No no don’t you dare cut me off! I have seen what you talked of, nuclear fire and missiles, ships of the oceans and planes soaring in the skies. But is it not all fake? Surely it must be! It must be? It must be…”
“I don’t know what you saw… but we have ships sailing around. If you’ve ever seen flying ships like you have here then that’s fake I can assure you of that. We do have airships, but they look more like really big long balloons.”
“But we could make such vessels, or someone could from times past. If you can visit the moon then surely you can make a ship for the skies!”
“No no, we ain’t got grav oil. Or dragon essence as I guess it’s called. That means no anti gravity, and that means weight is a very very big problem for anything you wanna make fly. Planes and helicopters are how we fly. Remember how I flew to Afghanistan on a big ass plane? Or when I learned to parachute later?”
“What is parachute? is it the ham from your times doing, vacationing? what has dried meat products got to do with flying machines of battle!”
“Wooo easy now easy. I guess you didn’t get that far yet. Uhm. It’s a cloth kite you dangle from and then glide to the ground. Very good fun.”
“A cloth kite used to fly?... such strange inventions. Wait was there not a movie of with something of that nature? yeeee… there was a song. I liked that song… something something brains upon his chute. Yeesss…”
“Yeah… You’ll know it when you see it. I have one actually.” Tom clarified trying not to get too weirded out.
“You must demonstrate on a suitable occasion.”
“Yeah… I do have a question too though,” Tom replied, letting silence reign for a short time. “...Your last letter was in Danish.”
“Oh, uhm yes. I- I was having some difficulty separating what was real and what was not… I still am. Do not tell Glazz, she musten know the truth yet. She seeks to limit my excursions.”
“You’ve ended up like I did, have you?”
“No no no, the effects do indeed recede as expected, everything is in good order… But I had to know more. So so much moooore.”
“Maybe you should cool it a bit. You never know when a brain snaps. Or how,” Tom tried, confident his advice would be ignored.
“There is not time!”
“And why is that? How is it going in our beloved Inquisition?”
“Mind your tongue, human! Things are progressing, but so are our enemies. Infiltrators have been caught, traitors within our ranks are making their moves. The reemergence of Rashan, attacks on mines, keeps and a daring heist attempt at a Royal Guard fortress! The game is afoot, we cannot delay.”
“You can’t overreach yourself either. Weren’t you supposed to be winning over the rest of the inquisition right about now? Can’t do that as a gibbering mess.”
There was silence for a while more after that. “Glazz sent you a letter? What did it say?! You may not keep secrets from me- wait not… I should confiscate her arm… she cannot write with her left. Yes far better plan, avoid upsetting him. And fill her pen with invisible ink. Yes very good.”
“No, it’s just obvious to any idiot. But what about winter, won’t things slow down?”
“They should, yet as autumn progresses it has only been picking up. I hope they too are running out of time… But time for what? I must know what they are planning. They might be behind schedule. But what SCHEDULE! sorry…”
“Well you’re not gonna find the answer to that in my memories, now are you?”
“You were sent by someone. You are here for a purpose. I must know this purpose. It will help me understand. The puzzle is large and much of the box kept from me.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to help you guys get in gear. That’s a decades to centuries long sorta problem, not a couple of years. Sounds like this war will be in the couple of years category.”
“Then why now? Why did you arrive now?!”
“Shitty luck? Sounds like 10 years ago would have been a lot better… Oh on that note, did you hear? We found something down below.”
“No, Paulin would have told me.”Joelina dismissed, he could almost feel her turning her snout up and away from him.
“Well we opened the vault like 3 days ago,” Tom replied, quite surprised Paulin hadn’t said anything. “Wait yeah she can send you messages, no? She sent the message about what we wanted to buy too, didn’t she?... How did she do that by the way? Why didn’t you just have her ask me questions?”
“That is not for you to know, and this is not for her.”
“Really? More secrets still? Come on, tell me or I’ll let you think flying whales exist.”
“I know those are not real. If they were, you would have harvested them long ago! likely for some deranged snack… or facial decoration.”
“True, but you get the idea,” Tom persisted, feeling like this was something worth pushing for. Why would Paulin not have let her precious Joelina know?
“Very well. This does not leave your mind… In the name of, what was it called… camaraderie. Paulin is in possession of joined paper. Messages may be written down and read by anyone with similarly joined paper. Unsecured. Originally believed to be fore love letters… dastardly studs and wenches using perfectly good magic for such trivialness… simply tie the message to a rock and throw it though the window. Most peasants cannot even afford glass” Joelina trailed off, seemingly zoning out once more.
“You have magical paper that can relay written information… and you don’t fucking use it!?” Tom explaimed, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“No, we do not know how to make freshly bonded paper… only more linked to all other paper in existence…” Joelina agreed. He could almost feel her looking at the floor in shame. “But it is not as if you are infallible, why did you not bring one of these radios?”
“I uhm…”
“Why didn’t you?!”
“I forgot,” Tom admitted, thinking back to his packing days. Of all the things that could have proven useful, that one might have been his biggest blunder.
“For the love of all that is holy! You are our saviour?!” Joelina scolded, understandably so, but still.
“Hey I never claimed to be smart!”
“I have lived your dreams. That is a lie! You very much claim to be smart!”
“Fuck off, I know you are just a scared little insecure girl.”
“She died 30 years ago!”
“Well I haven’t gotten to that bit yet!”
“What in the devils do you mean?” Joelina questioned calming right down in a fraction of a second.
“I’ve only had like three proper dreams about you… wait no, not like that,” Tom blurted out as it clicked just how wrong that sounded. Joelina didn’t seem to care in the slightest though.
“Three? That is it!?” going right back to outrage.
“Yeah… Wait, how many have you had?” Tom questioned. He rather wanted to know just how much she might know about him in addition to the memories she had already picked through when inside his head.
“Several a day!” the inquisitor exclaimed in reply.
“Okay, I can see how that would drive someone a bit mad.”
“I am not going mad!”
“Did Glazz say the same thing?” Tom questioned, quite certain he was striking a nerve.
There was no reply for quite some time, Tom feeling the headache growing as things grew tranquil once more. He could feel his breath. It was rapid, and his heart was pounding. He probably shouldn’t do this for much longer. Thus he endeavored to break the silence.
“You probably should listen to her you know.”
“No! These matters are above her station!”
“Hasn’t she been in the Inquisition longer than you?”
“She has yes. But she is no inquisitor. She is a body guard.”
“Seems like she is a wee bit more than that,” Tom pushed on. He didn’t yet know how those two came to stick together, but it was clear they had been working together for decades by now. All the way since she was assigned to Harvik
“Mind your own matters, human.”
“Very well, don’t think I can keep this up anyway.”
“We have barely been chatting! Where do the dogs come from?!”
“Selective breeding for thousands of years. But I’m gonna go. Take a break, do what Glazz says… even if Jacky hates her.”
Yet more silence followed that, though it was brief and Joelina was the first to speak again.
“Fine! In the interest of cooperation I shall let you rest. Wear the earring at all times, I shall be contacting you again soon.”
“I think I’m gonna be the judge of that. I’ll put it on when I feel like it.”
“You will do as I say!”
“You need a nap and a bit to calm down. I’ll give you three days. Around noon. See yah… How do I get this thing off?”
“I’m not telling you,” Joelina grumped like a little girl. She really didn’t seem quite like herself at all today. She had been the spitting image of restraint and arrogance before. The arrogance was still there, but the restraint had certainly gone.
“Come on, do I just try to cut off the magic or is that a bad idea?”
“If you answer a question I might answer.”
“Right then… Gimme gimme gimme aaaa-”
“JUST CUT IT! Farewell!” she called out loud enough Tom’s head pulsed and then there was blissful silence once more.
“Hehe. That did the trick, right concentrate on that funny feeling aaan-”
__________________________________________________________________________________
After dinner had been rounded up, Dakota had given a brief address as to some of the news received. There wasn’t much that hadn’t already made the rounds at the tables during the dinner itself. The war had been expanding, recruitment had started in full in the cities, and if not for the rather special situation at Bizmati they could have expected their banners to get called by spring.
Rumors had it that the kingdom was preparing itself for counterstrikes the following spring, which meant training through the winter for many volunteers.
“And a lot of not so volunteers,” Fengi muttered as Dakota carried on with the address.
“You can say that twice. At least the street rats might get something to eat and a place to sleep,” Tirox the trader escort added.
“I suppose that is true. Not a bad deal in winter time… I might even have taken it.”
“But we must instead keep our minds on our home,” Dakota carried on, talking to the whole hall. “There can be no mistake, we will be a target. We will be ready. They are getting bolder by the day it seems. It is not impossible they may attempt to take our keep before the winter comes. Or perhaps they will be waiting for spring. It is equally clear their forces are spread thin. We will weather such assaults, I have no doubt. But we must keep training. We must keep vigil. We cannot afford to be surprised or outmatched. I know you will all do your best. And tonight, we have no less than 4 dragons here. So breathe easy, have your snacks and your drinks. If the weather holds soon we will be finished with the warehouse and then we may make final preparations for winter. It is sure to be an interesting one for once.”
The hall replied with a half-discordant cheer, not overly enthusiastic unlike what Dakota had likely envisioned. The talk of them possibly getting attacked even before the snow came wasn’t really that encouraging. But Dakota tended to speak her mind, and she was probably right. Bizmati keep would be a damn tough nut to crack. And to Dakota’s credit she did seem to recognize she hadn’t really managed to rile them up.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she tried again in a slightly more humorous tone. “Eat, drink, and have fun! And put those tables together, don’t want you brooding in your corners.”
That did get a bit more of a reaction, as well as some good humored chuckles. People started getting up and set about moving the tables closer together.
It was a little rude to split up their guests in the same way as they normally did. Saph carried one of the benches over to the new spot, glancing around for any sign of Maiko, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Feeling a little miffed, she sat down with the others as Ray came back with one of the small kegs of cider looking very excited. “We should have a taste, right?”
“Oh yes please!” Pho called out, Essy giving her a slight slap on the wrist.
“This one is only for those who paid for it. You will have to do with whatever you bought. Or the ale I’m sure they intend to serve.”
“Aww man. Not even a sip?”
“Okay, maybe a sip,” Essy relented. “Oh, I should get Koko his gift.”
“You got him a gift?” Saph questioned with mirth in her voice.
“Of course, that is what people do for each other… you did get Maiko something, right?”
Saph felt her expression slip a little as she prepared to disappoint their chief people person. “No, not really…”
“All that money and you didn’t get him shit? That’s cold girl,” Pho laughed, clearly finding it hilarious.
“Oh shut up, not as if I got something for Unkai either,” Fengi added, springing to Sapphire’s defence, though it seemed like the delivery had Fengi second guessing herself as well.
Esmeralda did look a little saddened by the news, but she was far too nice to say anything. Tirox however had no such filter.
“Oh don’t worry about it, just gotta go with a different sort of gift.” The diminutive guard laughed heartily at his joke. Udanti found it quite funny as well, and Pho certainly loved it. Bo just shook her head a little and went back to a small puzzle of some sort she had been working on, on and off, for most of the dinner by now.
“So uhm… One mug each?” Ray questioned, having been left hanging at the keg.
“Oh yes sorry, just the one, this stuff is expensive,” Saph replied, holding out her mug, Ray pushing it back down.
“One moment.” And she produced a wooden mallet and one of the metal taps. It looked like one of Raulf’s, so it was probably old as faded dragonscales.
Ray gingerly placed it against the cork and raised the mallet as the table fell silent in anticipation.
With a whack the tap went in clean with hardly a drop spilled, and Ray breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Right there we go.”
There was a quick round of cheers from the table, and Ray started pouring servings.
“Oh got yours open, have you?” the voice of Balethon came as the guard came walking up to the table, mug in hand and lizard on shoulder. “You all know we are gonna have to work out who got the better stuff, right?”
“Oh does it always have to be a competition with you, Balethon?” Saph questioned. She had just wanted to enjoy the cider.
“Look who is talking… And yeah of course we do! Just think of the bragging rights.”
Ray didn’t look too thrilled, nor did any of the girls who had actually paid for the keg. The rest of the table seemed to think it was a brilliant idea, even as Balethon’s voice carried and heads started to turn as people started to mingle between the now closely together tables.
“I’ll be the independent adjudicator!” Tirox declared, not receiving much attention as the full mugs started to get passed around. “Oh come on. I’ll be fair!”
“Shut it pipsqueak, you’ll end up taking 10 rounds of tastings before you make up your mind,” Udanti scolded, though in good humor.
“I might…” the guy relented, looking to Balethon. “Ey, by the way. Did you teach the brainlet any tricks?”
“Sure, Skitters can do a few things.”
“Aside from chasing the food?”
“You know what I think he might yeah,” Balethon replied sarcastically, gently tapping the static lizard twice on the head. The lizard didn’t do much save skitter about on his shoulder to face Balethon’s head, one eye pointing in whichever direction.
‘That thing just looks so dumb,’ Saph thought to herself as Ray handed her a mug. “Oh thank you.”
“Okay, Skitters. Up,” Balethon went, raising a claw into the air as if he wanted the lizard to jump. Or perhaps stand up. “Up… come on.”
There was no reaction from the lizard aside from it jerking to the left a bit, possibly having spotted a fly or something.
“Weeeell obedience might need some work,” Udanti chuckled. “Have you tried with some food in your hand?”
“Sure, then he just tries to eat the hand. Come on, Skitters. Up!” Balethon tried again, doing the gesture once more. And this time the little lizard jumped into the air. The little legs stretched out, taking its pitiful excuse for wings with it, and it half-fell half-glided to the floor where it hit with all the grace of a 6 year old on his first lesson. The slightly fat lizard bounced once, then rolled over twice before coming to a stop, looking around confused.
“Aaayyy! That’s a good boi,” Balethon went, going to pick it up again before someone stepped on it or it ran off under the tables. “And now you get a treat.” True to his word Skitters was fed a small piece of something or other which it seemed quite happy to snap up.
Fengi leaned in to whisper to Saph. “Was that the trick or did it just get sick of staying there?”
“I have no idea,” Saph replied, holding up her mug. “Cheers though.”
“Cheers,” Fengi replied as they clinked mugs.
“Oh hang on now, wait for me,” Essy protested as Ray finished pouring her mug and started on her own, looking to the girls as she questioned “Oh, also what about Jacky? Should we wait for her?”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Fengi replied, holding her mug impatiently.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. She is with Tom. We’ll let him have a mug as well,” Essy added with a reassuring nod, looking up to the high table. “Oh but we are missing Lin!”
“Oh right yeah she paid too… I can’t remember, did Edita chip in?”
“I don’t think so,” Sapphire replied, shaking her head as Essy got up to go fetch Linkosta. Balethon decided to take her place, a big grin on his face.
“So what else is going on over here?”
“Oh not much, hellooo little guy,” Pho went, trying to give skitters a scritching. In exchange he tried to eat her finger. “Oh… I mean I guess it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh yeah, he can’t hurt a fly… well he can, but nothing more.”
“Shame he won’t get any bigger either,” Udanti added, nodding sagely. “Would have made a good rat hunter.”
“Nah… toe hunter though. Also where is the ale at?”
“Oh Raulf and Wiperna are getting ale and some of the bubble beer.”
“What is bubble beer?” Udanti questioned, tilting her head.
“Oh you’ll love it,” Saph interjected, waiting patiently as she saw Essy and Linkosta returning to the table out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an ale but it’s all fizzy.”
“Riiight… I’ve heard of fizzy beers before.”
“Oh yes, but this one is so much more fizzy.”
“It’s light and almost springlike.”
“Light ale? You mean for kids?”
“No no no. Just trust us it’s good.”
“Right right, I trust you,” the archer replied, looking to Essy and Linkosta, who seemed to be looking for a place to sit. “Should we not just put two end to end rather than this scrunching up business?”
“Yeah we should… Right get the craftsman table over here then. We don’t wanna have to smell the guards,” Saph called out, holding up her mug.
“Hey! That was uncalled for,” Balethon protested as Ray passed a mug to Linkosta. The girls all raised their mugs and had a sip, not willing to wait any longer. They all smacked their chops a little, looking down at the golden liquid. It was slightly fizzy too… and it tasted like the brew of the gods themselves. Ray was looking at them all visibly tense with anticipation and perhaps a twinge of fear.
“Ray… You have not disappointed,” Saph declared, nodding her approval, a smile creeping onto her face once more.
“Oh this is the best drink I think I’ve ever had,” Fengi added, taking another gentle sip.
Ray looked visibly relieved, her expression changing to one of ecstasy as she too took a sip herself. “Oh it’s even better than I remember. I’m glad you liked it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Fengi cheers, Essy giving an appreciative nod to Ray before looking to Lin.
“Sooo?”
“It’s very good… Do you think we could try and cool it down a little? Imagine this cold.”
“It is often served cold, yes,” Ray confirmed, nodding her assent.
“I’ll go get the powder!” Saph called out, getting up. “I have got to try that.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The strange ethereal world that had seemed so all-consuming started to quickly fade. Holes grew as light and reality started seeping in, sounds and noise starting to build around him. “Oom-Tom… Tom, are you okay?” came the familiar voice of Jacky as his eyes shot open and he blinked a few times as he returned to reality proper.
“Yeah yeah, I’m here… That is trippy, but hey, I think it worked.”
“How many fingers?” Jacky questioned, holding up her hand.
“4. Clear as day.”
“Pheeew. Okay look around, anything strange?”
Tom obeyed, sitting up a bit straighter and glancing about the room. “Nnnnn, nope all good. Just like last time I used one of these.”
“Right, good. Now what did she say?”
“Oh a bunch of stuff… mostly we chatted a bit about how she’s going a touch mad. Even Glazz thinks she’s falling apart at the seams apparently. She was also not happy I wanted a break.”
“Oh don’t tell me you have to do this every day from now on?”
“I said she had 3 days to get ready to try again. Hopefully she’ll have her case worked out by then.”
“Here’s to hoping… also how is your head? Does it hurt?”
“A bit, it’ll go away I’m sure.”
“Right,” Jacky replied, looking at him skeptically. “If it gets worse, tell me. But dinner was served a while ago I think. And I’m hungry.”
“Me too, let’s go.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Well then, Joelina got her chat. She seems fine... I am sure she will continue to be a steadfast ally, within the walls of the inquisition for many weeks to co- I mean years, definetly years.
As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if not you know who to blame. I promise I won't cry to much if you tell me what was wrong... I promise.
Not really any news, other than fuck me I'm a busy boi, luckily I found the time to keep up with the writing yet, hopefully things will quet down soon so I can get back to begin a bit further ahead.
Untill next time, take care
Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous
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“Right, best make this quick then,” he tried thinking to himself, feeling the flow peak as he did.
“Who is this? Make what quick?” an ethereal sounding female voice replied. It did sound a bit like how he remembered Joelina sounding. Though she did not exactly sound calm.
“Uhm… Hello? Anyone there?”
“Yes hello. Who is this? What must be done quick? Answer me at once!”
“It’s Tom… Is that you, Joelina?”
“Yes of course it is! Stupid dragons taking ages, I have questions for you! So many questiiioooonssss...”
“Yeah I figured that… Fire away I suppose.” Tom replied a little uncertainly as to just what he might be in for.
“Firstly! Did you read the letters?”
“I did yeah…”
“Disregard them, I have learned much since they were written! So much more yes, cursed blessed knowledge…”
“So you do know we have gone to space then?”
“What? No, I re-experienced the memory you had of the movie about the moon mission. It was evident on the second watching that it was trickery of the eye! Spaceflight is but a myth!”
“Riiight.”
“Then how have your kind visited space? And what of the gods above!? it was evident that the woman with the crystals was but a fraud!” Joelina explained with all the calm and restraint of a shoppingmall Karen
“Well the rockets to the moon, that did happen.” Tom attempted, doing his best to remain calm and diplomatic. “The movie you saw was probably a recreation… Tell me, did things go wrong on that trip but they made it home anyway?”
“Yes, do you know of what I speak? Ahr what am I proclaiming! of course you do it is your own memories, how could I forget.”
“Yea…, you watched a movie about Apollo 13 I think. Good movie, and that all happened too. Like for real happened”
“I see…” Joelina replied, sounding rather unstable. “And what of the gods?”
“We ain’t got any. Well not in space at least.”
“Impossible!”
“No, quite possible. Many still believe in gods though, but let’s not get into that too much. It’s a right old mess.”
“No, you must tell me what happened to the gods? Have they left you?”
“Well some think so, but no. I just think it all works a bit different for us. They might be a little more hands off.”
“But the churches… and these religious warriors you did battle with,” the inquisitor all but muttered to herself, sounding like she was struggling to put pieces together. “Do Jesus and Islam fight for power then? no no, they would have long since lost the battles to the ancient gods of war the teachers spoke of… though why they were always naked eludes me yeeees…”
“No, again we don’t really have gods just floating around... Could we please talk about something else? Or is that all you wanted to know?” Tom tried, hoping he really didn’t have to dive deeper into that particular subject.
“No no don’t you dare cut me off! I have seen what you talked of, nuclear fire and missiles, ships of the oceans and planes soaring in the skies. But is it not all fake? Surely it must be! It must be? It must be…”
“I don’t know what you saw… but we have ships sailing around. If you’ve ever seen flying ships like you have here then that’s fake I can assure you of that. We do have airships, but they look more like really big long balloons.”
“But we could make such vessels, or someone could from times past. If you can visit the moon then surely you can make a ship for the skies!”
“No no, we ain’t got grav oil. Or dragon essence as I guess it’s called. That means no anti gravity, and that means weight is a very very big problem for anything you wanna make fly. Planes and helicopters are how we fly. Remember how I flew to Afghanistan on a big ass plane? Or when I learned to parachute later?”
“What is parachute? is it the ham from your times doing, vacationing? what has dried meat products got to do with flying machines of battle!”
“Wooo easy now easy. I guess you didn’t get that far yet. Uhm. It’s a cloth kite you dangle from and then glide to the ground. Very good fun.”
“A cloth kite used to fly?... such strange inventions. Wait was there not a movie of with something of that nature? yeeee… there was a song. I liked that song… something something brains upon his chute. Yeesss…”
“Yeah… You’ll know it when you see it. I have one actually.” Tom clarified trying not to get too weirded out.
“You must demonstrate on a suitable occasion.”
“Yeah… I do have a question too though,” Tom replied, letting silence reign for a short time. “...Your last letter was in Danish.”
“Oh, uhm yes. I- I was having some difficulty separating what was real and what was not… I still am. Do not tell Glazz, she musten know the truth yet. She seeks to limit my excursions.”
“You’ve ended up like I did, have you?”
“No no no, the effects do indeed recede as expected, everything is in good order… But I had to know more. So so much moooore.”
“Maybe you should cool it a bit. You never know when a brain snaps. Or how,” Tom tried, confident his advice would be ignored.
“There is not time!”
“And why is that? How is it going in our beloved Inquisition?”
“Mind your tongue, human! Things are progressing, but so are our enemies. Infiltrators have been caught, traitors within our ranks are making their moves. The reemergence of Rashan, attacks on mines, keeps and a daring heist attempt at a Royal Guard fortress! The game is afoot, we cannot delay.”
“You can’t overreach yourself either. Weren’t you supposed to be winning over the rest of the inquisition right about now? Can’t do that as a gibbering mess.”
There was silence for a while more after that. “Glazz sent you a letter? What did it say?! You may not keep secrets from me- wait not… I should confiscate her arm… she cannot write with her left. Yes far better plan, avoid upsetting him. And fill her pen with invisible ink. Yes very good.”
“No, it’s just obvious to any idiot. But what about winter, won’t things slow down?”
“They should, yet as autumn progresses it has only been picking up. I hope they too are running out of time… But time for what? I must know what they are planning. They might be behind schedule. But what SCHEDULE! sorry…”
“Well you’re not gonna find the answer to that in my memories, now are you?”
“You were sent by someone. You are here for a purpose. I must know this purpose. It will help me understand. The puzzle is large and much of the box kept from me.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to help you guys get in gear. That’s a decades to centuries long sorta problem, not a couple of years. Sounds like this war will be in the couple of years category.”
“Then why now? Why did you arrive now?!”
“Shitty luck? Sounds like 10 years ago would have been a lot better… Oh on that note, did you hear? We found something down below.”
“No, Paulin would have told me.”Joelina dismissed, he could almost feel her turning her snout up and away from him.
“Well we opened the vault like 3 days ago,” Tom replied, quite surprised Paulin hadn’t said anything. “Wait yeah she can send you messages, no? She sent the message about what we wanted to buy too, didn’t she?... How did she do that by the way? Why didn’t you just have her ask me questions?”
“That is not for you to know, and this is not for her.”
“Really? More secrets still? Come on, tell me or I’ll let you think flying whales exist.”
“I know those are not real. If they were, you would have harvested them long ago! likely for some deranged snack… or facial decoration.”
“True, but you get the idea,” Tom persisted, feeling like this was something worth pushing for. Why would Paulin not have let her precious Joelina know?
“Very well. This does not leave your mind… In the name of, what was it called… camaraderie. Paulin is in possession of joined paper. Messages may be written down and read by anyone with similarly joined paper. Unsecured. Originally believed to be fore love letters… dastardly studs and wenches using perfectly good magic for such trivialness… simply tie the message to a rock and throw it though the window. Most peasants cannot even afford glass” Joelina trailed off, seemingly zoning out once more.
“You have magical paper that can relay written information… and you don’t fucking use it!?” Tom explaimed, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“No, we do not know how to make freshly bonded paper… only more linked to all other paper in existence…” Joelina agreed. He could almost feel her looking at the floor in shame. “But it is not as if you are infallible, why did you not bring one of these radios?”
“I uhm…”
“Why didn’t you?!”
“I forgot,” Tom admitted, thinking back to his packing days. Of all the things that could have proven useful, that one might have been his biggest blunder.
“For the love of all that is holy! You are our saviour?!” Joelina scolded, understandably so, but still.
“Hey I never claimed to be smart!”
“I have lived your dreams. That is a lie! You very much claim to be smart!”
“Fuck off, I know you are just a scared little insecure girl.”
“She died 30 years ago!”
“Well I haven’t gotten to that bit yet!”
“What in the devils do you mean?” Joelina questioned calming right down in a fraction of a second.
“I’ve only had like three proper dreams about you… wait no, not like that,” Tom blurted out as it clicked just how wrong that sounded. Joelina didn’t seem to care in the slightest though.
“Three? That is it!?” going right back to outrage.
“Yeah… Wait, how many have you had?” Tom questioned. He rather wanted to know just how much she might know about him in addition to the memories she had already picked through when inside his head.
“Several a day!” the inquisitor exclaimed in reply.
“Okay, I can see how that would drive someone a bit mad.”
“I am not going mad!”
“Did Glazz say the same thing?” Tom questioned, quite certain he was striking a nerve.
There was no reply for quite some time, Tom feeling the headache growing as things grew tranquil once more. He could feel his breath. It was rapid, and his heart was pounding. He probably shouldn’t do this for much longer. Thus he endeavored to break the silence.
“You probably should listen to her you know.”
“No! These matters are above her station!”
“Hasn’t she been in the Inquisition longer than you?”
“She has yes. But she is no inquisitor. She is a body guard.”
“Seems like she is a wee bit more than that,” Tom pushed on. He didn’t yet know how those two came to stick together, but it was clear they had been working together for decades by now. All the way since she was assigned to Harvik
“Mind your own matters, human.”
“Very well, don’t think I can keep this up anyway.”
“We have barely been chatting! Where do the dogs come from?!”
“Selective breeding for thousands of years. But I’m gonna go. Take a break, do what Glazz says… even if Jacky hates her.”
Yet more silence followed that, though it was brief and Joelina was the first to speak again.
“Fine! In the interest of cooperation I shall let you rest. Wear the earring at all times, I shall be contacting you again soon.”
“I think I’m gonna be the judge of that. I’ll put it on when I feel like it.”
“You will do as I say!”
“You need a nap and a bit to calm down. I’ll give you three days. Around noon. See yah… How do I get this thing off?”
“I’m not telling you,” Joelina grumped like a little girl. She really didn’t seem quite like herself at all today. She had been the spitting image of restraint and arrogance before. The arrogance was still there, but the restraint had certainly gone.
“Come on, do I just try to cut off the magic or is that a bad idea?”
“If you answer a question I might answer.”
“Right then… Gimme gimme gimme aaaa-”
“JUST CUT IT! Farewell!” she called out loud enough Tom’s head pulsed and then there was blissful silence once more.
“Hehe. That did the trick, right concentrate on that funny feeling aaan-”
__________________________________________________________________________________
After dinner had been rounded up, Dakota had given a brief address as to some of the news received. There wasn’t much that hadn’t already made the rounds at the tables during the dinner itself. The war had been expanding, recruitment had started in full in the cities, and if not for the rather special situation at Bizmati they could have expected their banners to get called by spring.
Rumors had it that the kingdom was preparing itself for counterstrikes the following spring, which meant training through the winter for many volunteers.
“And a lot of not so volunteers,” Fengi muttered as Dakota carried on with the address.
“You can say that twice. At least the street rats might get something to eat and a place to sleep,” Tirox the trader escort added.
“I suppose that is true. Not a bad deal in winter time… I might even have taken it.”
“But we must instead keep our minds on our home,” Dakota carried on, talking to the whole hall. “There can be no mistake, we will be a target. We will be ready. They are getting bolder by the day it seems. It is not impossible they may attempt to take our keep before the winter comes. Or perhaps they will be waiting for spring. It is equally clear their forces are spread thin. We will weather such assaults, I have no doubt. But we must keep training. We must keep vigil. We cannot afford to be surprised or outmatched. I know you will all do your best. And tonight, we have no less than 4 dragons here. So breathe easy, have your snacks and your drinks. If the weather holds soon we will be finished with the warehouse and then we may make final preparations for winter. It is sure to be an interesting one for once.”
The hall replied with a half-discordant cheer, not overly enthusiastic unlike what Dakota had likely envisioned. The talk of them possibly getting attacked even before the snow came wasn’t really that encouraging. But Dakota tended to speak her mind, and she was probably right. Bizmati keep would be a damn tough nut to crack. And to Dakota’s credit she did seem to recognize she hadn’t really managed to rile them up.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she tried again in a slightly more humorous tone. “Eat, drink, and have fun! And put those tables together, don’t want you brooding in your corners.”
That did get a bit more of a reaction, as well as some good humored chuckles. People started getting up and set about moving the tables closer together.
It was a little rude to split up their guests in the same way as they normally did. Saph carried one of the benches over to the new spot, glancing around for any sign of Maiko, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Feeling a little miffed, she sat down with the others as Ray came back with one of the small kegs of cider looking very excited. “We should have a taste, right?”
“Oh yes please!” Pho called out, Essy giving her a slight slap on the wrist.
“This one is only for those who paid for it. You will have to do with whatever you bought. Or the ale I’m sure they intend to serve.”
“Aww man. Not even a sip?”
“Okay, maybe a sip,” Essy relented. “Oh, I should get Koko his gift.”
“You got him a gift?” Saph questioned with mirth in her voice.
“Of course, that is what people do for each other… you did get Maiko something, right?”
Saph felt her expression slip a little as she prepared to disappoint their chief people person. “No, not really…”
“All that money and you didn’t get him shit? That’s cold girl,” Pho laughed, clearly finding it hilarious.
“Oh shut up, not as if I got something for Unkai either,” Fengi added, springing to Sapphire’s defence, though it seemed like the delivery had Fengi second guessing herself as well.
Esmeralda did look a little saddened by the news, but she was far too nice to say anything. Tirox however had no such filter.
“Oh don’t worry about it, just gotta go with a different sort of gift.” The diminutive guard laughed heartily at his joke. Udanti found it quite funny as well, and Pho certainly loved it. Bo just shook her head a little and went back to a small puzzle of some sort she had been working on, on and off, for most of the dinner by now.
“So uhm… One mug each?” Ray questioned, having been left hanging at the keg.
“Oh yes sorry, just the one, this stuff is expensive,” Saph replied, holding out her mug, Ray pushing it back down.
“One moment.” And she produced a wooden mallet and one of the metal taps. It looked like one of Raulf’s, so it was probably old as faded dragonscales.
Ray gingerly placed it against the cork and raised the mallet as the table fell silent in anticipation.
With a whack the tap went in clean with hardly a drop spilled, and Ray breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Right there we go.”
There was a quick round of cheers from the table, and Ray started pouring servings.
“Oh got yours open, have you?” the voice of Balethon came as the guard came walking up to the table, mug in hand and lizard on shoulder. “You all know we are gonna have to work out who got the better stuff, right?”
“Oh does it always have to be a competition with you, Balethon?” Saph questioned. She had just wanted to enjoy the cider.
“Look who is talking… And yeah of course we do! Just think of the bragging rights.”
Ray didn’t look too thrilled, nor did any of the girls who had actually paid for the keg. The rest of the table seemed to think it was a brilliant idea, even as Balethon’s voice carried and heads started to turn as people started to mingle between the now closely together tables.
“I’ll be the independent adjudicator!” Tirox declared, not receiving much attention as the full mugs started to get passed around. “Oh come on. I’ll be fair!”
“Shut it pipsqueak, you’ll end up taking 10 rounds of tastings before you make up your mind,” Udanti scolded, though in good humor.
“I might…” the guy relented, looking to Balethon. “Ey, by the way. Did you teach the brainlet any tricks?”
“Sure, Skitters can do a few things.”
“Aside from chasing the food?”
“You know what I think he might yeah,” Balethon replied sarcastically, gently tapping the static lizard twice on the head. The lizard didn’t do much save skitter about on his shoulder to face Balethon’s head, one eye pointing in whichever direction.
‘That thing just looks so dumb,’ Saph thought to herself as Ray handed her a mug. “Oh thank you.”
“Okay, Skitters. Up,” Balethon went, raising a claw into the air as if he wanted the lizard to jump. Or perhaps stand up. “Up… come on.”
There was no reaction from the lizard aside from it jerking to the left a bit, possibly having spotted a fly or something.
“Weeeell obedience might need some work,” Udanti chuckled. “Have you tried with some food in your hand?”
“Sure, then he just tries to eat the hand. Come on, Skitters. Up!” Balethon tried again, doing the gesture once more. And this time the little lizard jumped into the air. The little legs stretched out, taking its pitiful excuse for wings with it, and it half-fell half-glided to the floor where it hit with all the grace of a 6 year old on his first lesson. The slightly fat lizard bounced once, then rolled over twice before coming to a stop, looking around confused.
“Aaayyy! That’s a good boi,” Balethon went, going to pick it up again before someone stepped on it or it ran off under the tables. “And now you get a treat.” True to his word Skitters was fed a small piece of something or other which it seemed quite happy to snap up.
Fengi leaned in to whisper to Saph. “Was that the trick or did it just get sick of staying there?”
“I have no idea,” Saph replied, holding up her mug. “Cheers though.”
“Cheers,” Fengi replied as they clinked mugs.
“Oh hang on now, wait for me,” Essy protested as Ray finished pouring her mug and started on her own, looking to the girls as she questioned “Oh, also what about Jacky? Should we wait for her?”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Fengi replied, holding her mug impatiently.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. She is with Tom. We’ll let him have a mug as well,” Essy added with a reassuring nod, looking up to the high table. “Oh but we are missing Lin!”
“Oh right yeah she paid too… I can’t remember, did Edita chip in?”
“I don’t think so,” Sapphire replied, shaking her head as Essy got up to go fetch Linkosta. Balethon decided to take her place, a big grin on his face.
“So what else is going on over here?”
“Oh not much, hellooo little guy,” Pho went, trying to give skitters a scritching. In exchange he tried to eat her finger. “Oh… I mean I guess it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh yeah, he can’t hurt a fly… well he can, but nothing more.”
“Shame he won’t get any bigger either,” Udanti added, nodding sagely. “Would have made a good rat hunter.”
“Nah… toe hunter though. Also where is the ale at?”
“Oh Raulf and Wiperna are getting ale and some of the bubble beer.”
“What is bubble beer?” Udanti questioned, tilting her head.
“Oh you’ll love it,” Saph interjected, waiting patiently as she saw Essy and Linkosta returning to the table out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an ale but it’s all fizzy.”
“Riiight… I’ve heard of fizzy beers before.”
“Oh yes, but this one is so much more fizzy.”
“It’s light and almost springlike.”
“Light ale? You mean for kids?”
“No no no. Just trust us it’s good.”
“Right right, I trust you,” the archer replied, looking to Essy and Linkosta, who seemed to be looking for a place to sit. “Should we not just put two end to end rather than this scrunching up business?”
“Yeah we should… Right get the craftsman table over here then. We don’t wanna have to smell the guards,” Saph called out, holding up her mug.
“Hey! That was uncalled for,” Balethon protested as Ray passed a mug to Linkosta. The girls all raised their mugs and had a sip, not willing to wait any longer. They all smacked their chops a little, looking down at the golden liquid. It was slightly fizzy too… and it tasted like the brew of the gods themselves. Ray was looking at them all visibly tense with anticipation and perhaps a twinge of fear.
“Ray… You have not disappointed,” Saph declared, nodding her approval, a smile creeping onto her face once more.
“Oh this is the best drink I think I’ve ever had,” Fengi added, taking another gentle sip.
Ray looked visibly relieved, her expression changing to one of ecstasy as she too took a sip herself. “Oh it’s even better than I remember. I’m glad you liked it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Fengi cheers, Essy giving an appreciative nod to Ray before looking to Lin.
“Sooo?”
“It’s very good… Do you think we could try and cool it down a little? Imagine this cold.”
“It is often served cold, yes,” Ray confirmed, nodding her assent.
“I’ll go get the powder!” Saph called out, getting up. “I have got to try that.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The strange ethereal world that had seemed so all-consuming started to quickly fade. Holes grew as light and reality started seeping in, sounds and noise starting to build around him. “Oom-Tom… Tom, are you okay?” came the familiar voice of Jacky as his eyes shot open and he blinked a few times as he returned to reality proper.
“Yeah yeah, I’m here… That is trippy, but hey, I think it worked.”
“How many fingers?” Jacky questioned, holding up her hand.
“4. Clear as day.”
“Pheeew. Okay look around, anything strange?”
Tom obeyed, sitting up a bit straighter and glancing about the room. “Nnnnn, nope all good. Just like last time I used one of these.”
“Right, good. Now what did she say?”
“Oh a bunch of stuff… mostly we chatted a bit about how she’s going a touch mad. Even Glazz thinks she’s falling apart at the seams apparently. She was also not happy I wanted a break.”
“Oh don’t tell me you have to do this every day from now on?”
“I said she had 3 days to get ready to try again. Hopefully she’ll have her case worked out by then.”
“Here’s to hoping… also how is your head? Does it hurt?”
“A bit, it’ll go away I’m sure.”
“Right,” Jacky replied, looking at him skeptically. “If it gets worse, tell me. But dinner was served a while ago I think. And I’m hungry.”
“Me too, let’s go.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Well then, Joelina got her chat. She seems fine... I am sure she will continue to be a steadfast ally, within the walls of the inquisition for many weeks to co- I mean years, definetly years.
As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if not you know who to blame. I promise I won't cry to much if you tell me what was wrong... I promise.
Not really any news, other than fuck me I'm a busy boi, luckily I found the time to keep up with the writing yet, hopefully things will quet down soon so I can get back to begin a bit further ahead.
Untill next time, take care
Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous
2024.05.13 22:32 Turbulent-Project822 the AWP isn't what it used to be in CSGO
So after being a die hard AWPer for like 6/7 years in CSGO after CS2 came out last year i started to notice it became weird to shoot with the AWP, for the first weeks of CS2 i was kinda ok with it still using it as my main gun but after some of the updates that took place i actually realized that the SSG was better for me as it had better aim, smaller zoom ( i don't like to use the double zoom on AWP because i can't see anything near me ) and more bullets. At one point it became easier for me to one shot with the SSG than the AWP.
Times passed, new updates came, i had to take a couple of breaks from CS and decided that i should change my resolution from 1920x1080 to 1280x1024 which had multiple effects on my playstyle. The AWP became absolutely useless for me to this point i don't understand how i went from hitting insane flicks on 16:9 to not being able to hit normal shots on 4:3 but the rifleing part of the game was far beyond what i was before which made me consider keeping the resolution.
After a couple of weeks with the 1280x1024 resolution i decided to change again, this time to 1440x1080 this was more because of my CPU bottleneck issues and also i wanted the game to look a bit better as it didn't cause any fps changes. With the 1440x1080 resolution the AWP came back as a good contender for what i would buy during rounds, i could hit some good shots again and didn't miss everything, also rifleing was the best it's been since i probably started playing CS, i could actually hit good headshots, 3 tap bursts with the AK turned into fairly good sprays without bothering to learn the pattern and with the M4 i was always ok with and didn't change much.
Times passed again, another small 2 week brake from CS, came back, started to play and got to derusting a bit. Using rifles i didn't feel that anything change, more so, it felt even better than before but the AWP, it became something horrible. I started trying to play more AWP i thought that maybe the shots that i was missing we're because i stopped playing for a while. After grinding for a couple of weeks playing only AWP in community servers, aim training maps and even competitive matches i realized that the AWP isn't what it used to be. This may be an only me issue but it feels so weird. For me it feels like any slight movement, be it of the mouse, or using the keyboard, even while being crouched makes the AWP bullet go to the fucking moon. Shoots that look like they 100% went through miss and even when looking back at where the shoot hit it looks like it's right behind the oponent which feels insanely weird.
So after being a main AWPer and always going for the AWP with every chance i got i turned into not even considering buying it when i have max money. For me it's insane, it maybe because of peekers advantage or whatever buy any shot feels weird. Not to mention flicks, it feels imposible to flick.
So idk if i'm the only one with this problem maybe there's more like me and i would like to hear your opinion on the AWP in CS2.
submitted by Turbulent-Project822 to GlobalOffensive [link] [comments]
Times passed, new updates came, i had to take a couple of breaks from CS and decided that i should change my resolution from 1920x1080 to 1280x1024 which had multiple effects on my playstyle. The AWP became absolutely useless for me to this point i don't understand how i went from hitting insane flicks on 16:9 to not being able to hit normal shots on 4:3 but the rifleing part of the game was far beyond what i was before which made me consider keeping the resolution.
After a couple of weeks with the 1280x1024 resolution i decided to change again, this time to 1440x1080 this was more because of my CPU bottleneck issues and also i wanted the game to look a bit better as it didn't cause any fps changes. With the 1440x1080 resolution the AWP came back as a good contender for what i would buy during rounds, i could hit some good shots again and didn't miss everything, also rifleing was the best it's been since i probably started playing CS, i could actually hit good headshots, 3 tap bursts with the AK turned into fairly good sprays without bothering to learn the pattern and with the M4 i was always ok with and didn't change much.
Times passed again, another small 2 week brake from CS, came back, started to play and got to derusting a bit. Using rifles i didn't feel that anything change, more so, it felt even better than before but the AWP, it became something horrible. I started trying to play more AWP i thought that maybe the shots that i was missing we're because i stopped playing for a while. After grinding for a couple of weeks playing only AWP in community servers, aim training maps and even competitive matches i realized that the AWP isn't what it used to be. This may be an only me issue but it feels so weird. For me it feels like any slight movement, be it of the mouse, or using the keyboard, even while being crouched makes the AWP bullet go to the fucking moon. Shoots that look like they 100% went through miss and even when looking back at where the shoot hit it looks like it's right behind the oponent which feels insanely weird.
So after being a main AWPer and always going for the AWP with every chance i got i turned into not even considering buying it when i have max money. For me it's insane, it maybe because of peekers advantage or whatever buy any shot feels weird. Not to mention flicks, it feels imposible to flick.
So idk if i'm the only one with this problem maybe there's more like me and i would like to hear your opinion on the AWP in CS2.
2024.05.13 22:32 Ichithekiller666 We’re No Angels (1989)
 | We’re No Angels (1989) I first saw this movie when I was 11yrs old. I think back and I have a hazy memory of laying in bed with my parents on a rainy Sunday watching it. It’s underrated and beautifully shot. I know the town they end up in has been the backdrop to many of my dreams over the years, a familiar place I’ve never been to, but have an unexplainable affinity for. Nostalgic dream like. And Demi Moore boobs. submitted by Ichithekiller666 to iwatchedanoldmovie [link] [comments] |
2024.05.13 22:31 rustee30 Is there anything worth crafting there?
 | 1 submitted by rustee30 to FORTnITE [link] [comments] 2 3 4 5 6 I would like to play with some new weapons but i have no idea which one are good if there is any? Thank you! |
2024.05.13 22:28 Lord_Long_Rod Hunting Sasquatch for Communists, Featuring Ms. Anna Conda
During the course of my career as an alpha Sasquatch hunting, Dogman destroying, pussy crushing, luxury watch loving dude, I have run into this particular woman a few times. She is one part uber sensuality, and the other part deadly. Yes, I am speaking about the lovely, Anna Conda. I bring her up because I had another run-in with her last year.
Anna and I first joined forces, so to speak, when she acted as a go-between in my business deal with the Chinese to sell them bigfoot parts. See, I would hunt and kill the critters, cut them up, deliver the parts to Anna, who in turn gave me a suitcase containing unmarked American hundred-dollar bills, then she would transport the bigfoot parts to the Chinese. I was never really sure of what the sneaky-ass Chinese were doing with the body parts. All I knew for sure is that they are extracting certain materials from them, then synthesizing them with some other shit, creating some sort of drug. Whether it then becomes a bio-weapon or a dick stimulant, I do not know. Neither do I care. As long as they kept the hundies coming, I was good.
Now, while Anna is of Russian descent, she is a freelancer. She will work for any sick, skeevy motherfucker out there. She does not care. She has no conscience, at least not in the traditional sense as we understand it in western civilization. Today she is working for the Chinese, and tomorrow she may be working for Hamas. She is a slippery motherfucker.
So here is how it went down. At 11:32 p.m. on a Friday in September of last year I get a call on my cell phone. When the call came in I was balls deep into this hot little lass I picked up at the bus station a little earlier in the evening from an old swarthy chap named “Colorado Joe”. He wanted to sell me the girl. I was assured she was over 20 years old. I told him I needed to take her out for a test ride, which he agreed to.
So, there I was, balls deep in “Bing Bang Yun”, and my phone rings. Of course, I silence all incoming calls not in my contacts list. Thus, I knew that I must know the caller. In mid stroke I reached over to the nightstand to retrieve my cell and looked at it. It was a call from “Sergio”. I thought, “Oh shit…. I am going to have to cut the Oriental bang circus short.” When Sergio calls, I have to respond…immediately. He has the best blow on the east coast!!
“Hey, Serge! What’s up?”, I asked. All he said was, “Hooters. 2:00 a.m.”, then hung up. This was obviously the rendezvous for the transaction. Now, understand that Serge was not talking about the chicken wing restaurant. Hooters was code, in case the feds were listening in on the line. “Hooters” meant the titty bar out on Highway 69 called “The Plump Rump”. We had a communications code we used.
It was a long haul to the titty bar, so I needed to get moving. I had no time to return the girl to Colorado Joe, so I took her with me. I had her blow me on the way to the meeting with Sergio, telling her that her performance would make the difference on whether I save her from Joe or not. Of course, after she was done I tossed her out of my speeding truck and down, over the bridge, and into the Wendigo River below. I did not need any complications in my life right now.
I arrived at The Plump Rump at 2:00 a.m. on the dot. I saw the manager, Lou Skunt, sitting at the bar when I walked inside. I nodded. He walked over and said to me, “Use my office for the meeting The parties are already in there waiting for you.” I nodded and then headed to Lou’s office. Then it hit me: Lou said the “PARTIES” are already here. That is, parties, meaning more than one person. It was not just Sergio. It was 2 or more people! Lou was probably in for a cut of whatever was about to go down.
Something was bad fucked up!! I know for a fact that Sergio never brings anyone with him on a deal, at least not with me. He is too distrustful of people to do that, and too fucking mean to need protection. Something was wrong. I was just as likely to get whacked when I enter Lou’s office as anything else. I needed a moment to think things through.
I took a spot in front of one of the performance poles to watch a young, swarthy Mexican lass perform. My mind quickly strayed from the problem at hand to this brown chick’s ass and tits. She was not a great looking chick, but her body was smoking!! I quickly became aroused. I thought to myself, “Goddamn Asian bitches!! They are just like Chinese food – after 2 hours you are ready for some more!!”
When the little Mexican chick went on break I motioned her over to my table. “Hola Senior!!”, she said. I pulled out a clear plastic baggie of blow and dropped it on the table. Her eyes grew wide and slobber starting falling from her mouth. Blow is like catnip for strippers. Thus, she fell under my spell immediately.
The next thing I know, this brown girl was on my lap, dry humping me like a feral bitch dog in heat. I had to bang her. I NEEDED to see my wang penetrating her. Just then, someone taps my shoulder hard. I look up to see Lou standing over me. He bent down and said, “Did you forget about my office, asshole?!?!?!” I replied, “Damn, Lou!! You read my mind!!!” I arose, with the little Mexican bolted onto my mid-section, and hastily retreated to Lou’s office. I figured Lou would prefer me to stain this chick in private rather than out in the open.
The door to the office opened easily. The lights were on inside. In a lustful haze, I set the little Mexican chick on her back across Lou’s desk and started pumping the shit out of her, completely unaware of the others in the room with us. In a moment I heard someone call my name. I twist my neck around to see Sergio sitting on Lou’s jizz crusted couch. I think to myself, “Oh shit! I forgot about that shit!”
I figured I would just move forward with the deal as it was proposed to me. “Hey Serge! What ya got for me, dude?”, I asked. He replied, “I have a very special deal for you. I need, uh … yeah, ……Hey, Rod, you want to stop for a moment so we can talk?” I picked up the little tamale and laid her down onto Sergio’s lap as I continued to plow her. She stayed on my cock the whole time. I told Sergio, “No, man. I’m good! Lay it on me!” Slowly, Sergio lowered his face into his palm.
Then it happened. The voice cam from behind me, in the dark corner of Lou’s office. It was velvety yet hard as steel. “Rod. Went need to talk”, it said. Even though I did not stop pumping the little brown chick, a chill went down my spine when I heard those words. It was the thick timbre of the voice, I think, that alerted me.
I turned to look across the room. There, sitting in a red leather captains chair against the wall was the source of the sultry voice: Anna Conda.
I picked up the little taco yet again and turned her around so I could face Anna as I continued pumping her. At this point the Mexican girl was merely a masturbation toy I was using. I increased my pump so I could dump my load and get this over with. Then BAMM!!!, it was over. I removed the lass from my huge rod, after which her body crumpled to the floor. I did not know if she was dead or injured, or what had happened to her. But I did not care either, so I did not dwell on it.
I tried to compose myself the best I could, then walked over to stand before Anna so I could get to the bottom of all this business. “Well, well, well. Anna Conda. We meet again. Tell me, what brings you here, to my little neck of the woods?”
Anna replied, “Rod, put your dick away.” I looked down and, indeed, I had forgotten to stow my cock. Out of pure curtesy, I packed it away. Then I returned my attention to Anna. “Alright, Anna, what’s going on here?”
Anna launched into a startling tale about what brought her to me. As she spoke I became lost in her wanton beauty. She got up from her chair and walked about the room as she relayed her story, presumably to make it more dramatic and demonstrative. I got a full-on view of her body, and it was fantastic!!
She stands 5’10’’ and weighs 105 lbs. She is lithe. She was showing it off too, wearing a black, silk dress that landed just about her ankles. The top was low-cut, betraying just a bit of cleavage from her C-cup wineglass titties. She was not wearing a bra. Anna never wears a bra. Her nips were perfectly outlined through the silk. In fact, I think her nips were hard. It was probably something she did on purpose in an attempt to influence me. It was working.
Anna’s ass was perfect. It was not at all fat, but round enough not to be skinny. It was a fit figure skater’s ass. As she walked, I could see a tiny bit of jiggle emanating from her ass flesh, and then reverberated in the silky black dress she wore. My cock began growing hard again.
Her face was beautiful. Think Scarlett Johanson and Phoebe Cates rolled into one. But any sweetness this may evoke is quickly dispelled by Anna’s throaty voice with its thick Russian accent. I have known Anna for 20 years. Yet, she still does not look a day over 25. Jesus Christ!!! If ever there was a chick to die for ….. If I was one to delve into the belief of the paranormal, then I may conclude that Anna made a deal with the devil. But, I am not such a person.
And literally, Anna Conda is a chick to die for. She is deadly as fuck. She will kill you in a split second without a thought just because she does not like the shirt you are wearing. She can do it too. She is always armed and she knows how to use her weapons. Moreover, she is a total psychopath. This makes her doubly dangerous.
Anna and I have always gotten along for the most part. Like Anna, the dollar is my primary motivating factor. Such a mindset allows for understanding and predictability among people, which are elements that are sorely missing in many business dealings today that go on in the color of darkness.
Suddenly, Anna snapped me out of my thoughts. “Here’s your gun, Rod. Now let’s get started”, said Anna. She and Sergio were halfway through the door exiting Lou’s office when I said, “Hey, wait a damned minute!!! What are you talking about?!?”
They both stopped, and Anna walked back in and looked me in the eyes, saying “The plan, Rod. Let’s get on with the plan.” A little embarrassed, I sheepishly asked, “What plan?” Anna folded her arms and looked cross at me. After a moment to allow me to simmer in my shame, she asked, “You were not paying attention, were you, Rod?” I shook my head and looked down.
I heard a hammer cock. I jerked my head back up to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol pointed at my head that Anna was holding. I protested, “Look, it is not my fucking fault!! Put that fucking gun down!!!” I continued, “You were distracting me with …. Well.. you know, how you are dressed, and that hot, sultry voice…. You know?”
“So, instead of paying attention to the plan, you chose to eye-rape me. Is that what I am to understand your position is, Rod?”, she asked. Knowing that my life was on the line, I said, “Anna, look, you know I am horny to a fault. Then you come in here, swinging them tits around, wearing that silk dress showing off the crack of your ass…. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPENED?”
Anna lowered her gun. She knew that my explanation of being a total cocksman was truth. “Let’s go”, Anna curtly said. I obeyed.
Anna explained the plan to me again on the drive from The Plump Rump. She made me wear a blindfold so that I would not get horny during her explanation. Here is how it went:
Anna Conda was now working for the Russians. It seems that Putin caught wind of the Sasquatch project that the Chinese were working on. He also knew that the American government have been fucking with sasquatch for decades. Thus, he was very concerned about the existence of a bigfoot gap. He ordered the acquisition of a Sasquatch specimen immediately.
Moreover, said specimen must be prime. It needed to be the biggest, baddest sasquatch of them all – a true alpha – so as to speed things along. Putin did not want some weird shit-creature, is-it-a-sasquatch-or-is-it-a-dogman, kind of monstrosity. He wanted purebred, badass sasquatchery, and preferably from the American Pacific northwest.
Anna got in on it because she sold the intel to Putin about China’s Sasquatch operation. She then told Putin she could produce sasquatch corpses for him. She told him she had a contact (i.e., me). Thus, with Putin’s blessing and promises of riches to come, Anna set out to America to find me.
Now, here is where things got a bit squirrely. See, I agreed to procure some more dead sasquatch. I have no problem with killing sasquatch because, in my opinion, they are an abomination on this Earth. I kind of feel like I am doing God’s work by wiping out as many of them as I can. And given all the not-so-Godly stuff I have done, I feel like killing Sasquatch kind of offsets that to some degree.
But Anna, she was stuck on Putin’s instruction that she must supply him with apex Sasquatch. So she did not want to take my advice of heading to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska. Instead, Anna claimed to have pinpointed the whereabouts of a particularly gruesome sasquatch beast that she KNEW would win her a fortune from Putin if she brought it to him.
“So, where is this beast?”, I asked. Anna replied “Martha’s Vineyard”. I paused. Then I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out that I was not mistaken about what Anna had said. I continued, “Uh, Anna, there are no sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard, just a lot of wealth New Englander schmucks.”
Anna looked at me and told me I was wrong. Then she decided to attempt to taunt me. “Oh, Rod, mighty slayer of Bigfoot! Yet, you fail to take notice of where the biggest, most foul and rotten beast of them all makes its home. Jesus, Rod!! What kind of bigfoot hunter are you, anyway?” Anna then spit at my feet and wondered aloud whether she even needs me for this job.
I decided that I needed to straighten out the hierarchy here in order for this here deal to move forward. I said, “Well, Anna, feel free to truck on over to Old Whitey Beach and battle that beast. But, if there is a big old mangy sasquatch lurking around over there, then it is probably a fucking Nazi-Squatch. You know, those fuckers out there hate the Jews.”
The work “Nazi” visibly shook Anna. Her great grandfather died defending Leningrad. Her entire family there died of either starvation or cannibalism during Hitler’s siege during Operation Barbarossa. Anna despised Nazis. But she feared them too. After landing that punch, I decided to push my luck.
“Now, I am still willing to help you catch this here Nazi-Squatch, but you have to do something for me”, I said. Now Anna’s eyes were on me, and they were narrowing. I continued, “I want you to get bare assed naked and pleasure yourself while I stand over you and jack it.” Anna stared at me silently for a long moment. Then she replied.
“After the job is done, and you can get none of your … fluids… on me”, she said. I shook my head and countered, “Now, and I will ‘try’ to not get my spunk on you.”
However, Anna then turned the tables on me. In fact, she picked up the table and bashed my head in with it. She looked me in my eyes, then matter-of-factly said, “You get the beast, and your prize shall be a night with me, anything goes, darling.” Well, since this caused all of the blood to immediately drain from my brain, I had a lapse in judgment. “DEAL!!”, I said. Then we shook on it.
“OK, tell me more about this supposed monster sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard”, I said. I still was not ready to believe there was a monster out there. “I show you photo”, said Anna. She took out her phone, scrolled to find the photo, then handed the phone to me. “There. Sasquatch”, she said.
I stared at the photo and remained silent. After a long moment, I turned the phone so that Anna could see the photo and asked, “Uh, Anna, is THIS what you intended to show me?” She replied. “Yes! There…Sasquatch! The biggest, grossest monster around.”
Now, I could not argue with Anna that the image on her phone is a big, gross monster. Hell, it could actually be a sasquatch, and THE UBER sasquatch. It is most certainly the grossest thing on Martha’s Vinyard. But I somehow do not think this is what Putin is expecting.
I turned to Anna and said, “Anna, this is a photo of Michelle Obama. I know it looks vile, and has a huge, hulking body with large appendages where a woman should not have them. But, sweatheart, that ain’t no sasquatch. That’s a big, hairy Chicago street negro.”
Anna did not believe me at first. She was hard in her conviction that Obama was a sasquatch. “I have seen the Sasquatch beast you deliver to me for China. This … Michelle Obama …. It is big, and hairy, and ugly like the sasquatch beast, but worse.”
When the truth finally set it, I could see that it had kind of broken down poor Anna, if only just a bit. I put my arm around Anna and told her, “Look, Michelle O fooled you. Hell, she and her Hamas Hubby fooled millions of Americans, twice! At least you saw Michelle for what she is, to wit: a big, gross sasquatch, and NOT some kind a retarded leftist messiah.”
After that, things took a rather dark turn. “What if we still take her to Putin? We can make deal; sell her to Putin!!” At this point I held up my hands and said, “I’m out”, then turned and walked away. Anna followed, trying to get me to stay. At this point, I could tell that Anna was coming undone a little.
See, she had to produce for Putin. There is no telling what kind of secret deal she actually had with him. She had to deliver a big old mangy Obama …. Er, uh, I mean … Sasquatch, to Putin.
“Ok, Rod, we do your plan. We go out west to kill bigfoot. Huge, monster bigfoot. she said. I turned and looked Anna in her eyes and said the following: First, we bang for 48 hours straight, right now, so I can get my fill of you. Second, you pay me $10,000.00 cash upfront. Third, upon delivery of the dead bigfoot, you pay me $1 million immediately.”
Anna agreed to everything, but noted that at the present time it was her “time of the month”. I grimaced, as I will absolutely not go there (and she knows that). “Fine, next week we bang”, I said. She pointed out that I would be in the woods next week hunting sasquatch. “Fine, once I come out of the woods, then we bang – 48 hours straight”, I said. “Of course, darling!”, she agreed.
Well, it took several days to set up the hunt, but it finally happened. I was in Washington state at high elevation based on intel I has acquired that indicated that there was a monstrous 15’ tall sasquatch on the mountain range that had been murdering and eating hunters and hikers. After 3 months in these mountains without a trace of the creature I began to lose hope, thinking that I probably got some bad intel, or bad coordinates.
I got my satellite phone out to call for an extraction. Winter was setting in fast, and if I did not get off this mountain soon, then I would freeze and/or starve to death. Unfortunately, my contact did not answer. I tried for 2 days. No answer. I had been fucked. I wondered what had happened back in civilization that caused me to be abandoned like this. I resolved that I would get off that mountain and get to the bottom of this shit. There would be hell to pay for this betrayal!!’
I was able to get in touch with contacts from back home. I got old Billy Ray from Ellijay and Rattler on the phone and got them to come out here to Washington State to extract me. Rattler use to fly helicopters in the Army. He has an old Huey sitting in his front yard, to the chagrin of his HOA. He fired that sucker up, and him and old Billy Ray flew out here to my coordinates and extracted me.
After landing at a convenience store to buy some beer for the flight home, we headed east. Through the skies a way, Billy Ray said, “Well, Rod, I guess you is bout ready to git back home to Georgia, eh?” In fact, I was ready to go home. But I had to take care of some business first. I told them both to take me to New York City. They were both perplexed. All I said to them was “I have an old friend there I have to see before I can go home.”
I have intel on where Anna Conda stays when she is in the United States. She stays at certain hotels depending on what month she is here, and whether her check-in date is an odd or even number. This is for undercover work. I came across the code for her stays while doing the sasquatch work for China. She an I were caught in a snowstorm one night in Buffalo, NY, and had to share a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport. We had like 10 big Igloo ice chests with iced down sasquatch body parts with us in the room.
Anna was like, “No hanky panky, Rod. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Tomorrow we finish business.”
Frankly, I did not blame her for withholding her magnificent muff from me. I was tired as hell. But, I could not settle for nothing. So, when Anna was in the bathroom taking a shower, I started going through her suit case. I wanted to find some of her panties to jack off into. Instead, I found a little black notebook. Inside it contained her lodging codes, and some other interesting things. I photographed the contents with my phone and then put it back.
When Anna got out of the shower she was already dressed in her night clothes. She saw me lying on my back, nude on the bed, and jacking it. “Rod!! GROSS!!!! Go to the restroom to do that shit!!!”, she commanded. I just did it to get a rise out of her. LOL!!
So, if Anna is still inside the U.S., then using the codes I stole from her I can locate precisely where she will be that night. I studied it for a few moments then had my answer. Tonight she would be staying at the Dogman Inn on Hwy 95 South, Room 355. I told Rattler to get me there stat!
We had to stop several times for fuel and beer. Those Hueys go just a bit over a hundred MPH, you know. But eventually, we got there. I gave the boys some money and told them to go to the Waffle House for some coffee to sober up. Then they would fly me home.
I should mention that I also had Rattler’s fully auto Russian AK-74 with spare mags. During the long flight with 2 drunks from Washington State to New York City, I had worked myself up into a towering rage over how Anna fucked me on this Putin deal. She had clearly thrown me aside. But for what, exactly? I figured I would storm the hotel room, get some answers, then shower the room with gun fire.
I busted through the door of Room 355 at exactly 3:35 a.m. There she was. My entry roused her from slumber. I was pointing my rifle at her, center mass. She was shocked at the appearance of a gunman in her room at this time of night. However, she was not as shocked as one would think (this was not the first time something like this has happened to her).
I raised my face from the receiver just enough so she could see it was me. “Rod!!!”, she exclaimed. “What happened to you?!?!? I thought you had died up in those mountains when we never hear from you!” I replied, “Shove it up that cute little ass of yours, Anna. You fucked me. And not in the good way. What the fuck was all that shit about needing a sasquatch for Putin?!?”
Anna played dumb. But it struck me that I had been deliberately put out of the loop for 3 months. Why? Who wanted me away for that long, and why? What went on in my absence?!? I was just dying to know!!! I set my rifle down and pulled out my fixed blade knife, ready to get down to some real nasty work on Anna so I could get some truth. The pure evil of what I was about to do to her caused a wide death grin to grow on my face. Anna saw it. She knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and her eyes betrayed the shear terror she felt inside. I was engorged with blood lust. She knew she had fucked up one time too many this time!!
Suddenly came the sound of the toilet in the bathroom flushing. I was momentarily shocked. I did not expect anyone else to be there with Anna. Anna saw it in my face. I glanced at her and saw that the terror in her face was replaced with pleasure, a slight smile creeping over her face.
I was going to have to face off against this person in the bathroom, who would be out in a split moment. When I do that, I will have to turn 180 degrees from Anna, thereby making me vulnerable to her. I had only once choice: Shoot Anna first.
Just as this came to me, but just before I could act on it, the bathroom door opened. I had to deal with that person before Anna now. I spun around to see that it was a completely nude, and fat, white man. He was a real oafish blob. He looked surprised to see me. He also looked sort of familiar.
I next heard the crack of something hitting my skull hard. I remember the immediate hateful pain that shot through my body and the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I remember the dizziness, then falling to the floor. Clearly, as I fixed on the man from the bathroom, Anna had cracked me over the head with a blunt object.
I came to the next morning, Billy Ray and Rattler had manage to track me down based upon coordinates I left in the chopper that said “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. Billy Ray filled up the hotel room ice bucket with cold water and doused my head with it to bring me conscious. I was disoriented at first. But after a bit, what happened in this room the night before came back to me.
Honestly, I am surprised that Anna did not just kill me. I presume that she thinks she can leverage her drop-dead hotness to get me to do more shit for her in the future. She is absolutely right about that too. Rattler then said, “Hey, Rod, that snake bitch left a letter fer ya.”
He handed me the letter. This is what it said:
____________________________________________
“Dear Rod:
Sorry about the boo boo on your head. Hope it heals soon. Also sorry about leaving you in the mountains. I was not running a scam on you Rod. Rather, an opportunity arose for me to acquire a sasquatch body from another person. You may know him since you are a sasquatch hunter. His name is Matt Moneymaker. Anyway, until next time…..
Yours truly,
Anna Conda”
_____________________________________________
I could not fucking believe it. That was fatfuck Moneymaker in the hotel room earlier. Anna fucked Matt Fatfuck Moneymaker for a Sasquatch! That fat son of bitch!!
Billy Ray asked, “You ready to go Rod?” I stood up and said, “Yeah, let’s go.” Then Rattler said, “Hey, ya wanna stop and git some beer fer the ride home?” I replied “Hell yeah.”
I felt like I wanted to die. Thank God for beer and buddies. I don’t blame Anna. She is a fucking snake, and I knew that before this started. Also, I cannot really blame fatfuck Moneymaker for wanting to get some of that hot poon pie Anna serves up. I guess I have to blame fate for fucking me over this time. I even started thinking that next time I will just avoid Anna. But I know I won’t, thus making me subject to this sort of shit again. I had Rattler set us down in Charlottesville so I could buy some hard liquor.
submitted by Lord_Long_Rod to Sasquatch_Jihad [link] [comments]
Anna and I first joined forces, so to speak, when she acted as a go-between in my business deal with the Chinese to sell them bigfoot parts. See, I would hunt and kill the critters, cut them up, deliver the parts to Anna, who in turn gave me a suitcase containing unmarked American hundred-dollar bills, then she would transport the bigfoot parts to the Chinese. I was never really sure of what the sneaky-ass Chinese were doing with the body parts. All I knew for sure is that they are extracting certain materials from them, then synthesizing them with some other shit, creating some sort of drug. Whether it then becomes a bio-weapon or a dick stimulant, I do not know. Neither do I care. As long as they kept the hundies coming, I was good.
Now, while Anna is of Russian descent, she is a freelancer. She will work for any sick, skeevy motherfucker out there. She does not care. She has no conscience, at least not in the traditional sense as we understand it in western civilization. Today she is working for the Chinese, and tomorrow she may be working for Hamas. She is a slippery motherfucker.
So here is how it went down. At 11:32 p.m. on a Friday in September of last year I get a call on my cell phone. When the call came in I was balls deep into this hot little lass I picked up at the bus station a little earlier in the evening from an old swarthy chap named “Colorado Joe”. He wanted to sell me the girl. I was assured she was over 20 years old. I told him I needed to take her out for a test ride, which he agreed to.
So, there I was, balls deep in “Bing Bang Yun”, and my phone rings. Of course, I silence all incoming calls not in my contacts list. Thus, I knew that I must know the caller. In mid stroke I reached over to the nightstand to retrieve my cell and looked at it. It was a call from “Sergio”. I thought, “Oh shit…. I am going to have to cut the Oriental bang circus short.” When Sergio calls, I have to respond…immediately. He has the best blow on the east coast!!
“Hey, Serge! What’s up?”, I asked. All he said was, “Hooters. 2:00 a.m.”, then hung up. This was obviously the rendezvous for the transaction. Now, understand that Serge was not talking about the chicken wing restaurant. Hooters was code, in case the feds were listening in on the line. “Hooters” meant the titty bar out on Highway 69 called “The Plump Rump”. We had a communications code we used.
It was a long haul to the titty bar, so I needed to get moving. I had no time to return the girl to Colorado Joe, so I took her with me. I had her blow me on the way to the meeting with Sergio, telling her that her performance would make the difference on whether I save her from Joe or not. Of course, after she was done I tossed her out of my speeding truck and down, over the bridge, and into the Wendigo River below. I did not need any complications in my life right now.
I arrived at The Plump Rump at 2:00 a.m. on the dot. I saw the manager, Lou Skunt, sitting at the bar when I walked inside. I nodded. He walked over and said to me, “Use my office for the meeting The parties are already in there waiting for you.” I nodded and then headed to Lou’s office. Then it hit me: Lou said the “PARTIES” are already here. That is, parties, meaning more than one person. It was not just Sergio. It was 2 or more people! Lou was probably in for a cut of whatever was about to go down.
Something was bad fucked up!! I know for a fact that Sergio never brings anyone with him on a deal, at least not with me. He is too distrustful of people to do that, and too fucking mean to need protection. Something was wrong. I was just as likely to get whacked when I enter Lou’s office as anything else. I needed a moment to think things through.
I took a spot in front of one of the performance poles to watch a young, swarthy Mexican lass perform. My mind quickly strayed from the problem at hand to this brown chick’s ass and tits. She was not a great looking chick, but her body was smoking!! I quickly became aroused. I thought to myself, “Goddamn Asian bitches!! They are just like Chinese food – after 2 hours you are ready for some more!!”
When the little Mexican chick went on break I motioned her over to my table. “Hola Senior!!”, she said. I pulled out a clear plastic baggie of blow and dropped it on the table. Her eyes grew wide and slobber starting falling from her mouth. Blow is like catnip for strippers. Thus, she fell under my spell immediately.
The next thing I know, this brown girl was on my lap, dry humping me like a feral bitch dog in heat. I had to bang her. I NEEDED to see my wang penetrating her. Just then, someone taps my shoulder hard. I look up to see Lou standing over me. He bent down and said, “Did you forget about my office, asshole?!?!?!” I replied, “Damn, Lou!! You read my mind!!!” I arose, with the little Mexican bolted onto my mid-section, and hastily retreated to Lou’s office. I figured Lou would prefer me to stain this chick in private rather than out in the open.
The door to the office opened easily. The lights were on inside. In a lustful haze, I set the little Mexican chick on her back across Lou’s desk and started pumping the shit out of her, completely unaware of the others in the room with us. In a moment I heard someone call my name. I twist my neck around to see Sergio sitting on Lou’s jizz crusted couch. I think to myself, “Oh shit! I forgot about that shit!”
I figured I would just move forward with the deal as it was proposed to me. “Hey Serge! What ya got for me, dude?”, I asked. He replied, “I have a very special deal for you. I need, uh … yeah, ……Hey, Rod, you want to stop for a moment so we can talk?” I picked up the little tamale and laid her down onto Sergio’s lap as I continued to plow her. She stayed on my cock the whole time. I told Sergio, “No, man. I’m good! Lay it on me!” Slowly, Sergio lowered his face into his palm.
Then it happened. The voice cam from behind me, in the dark corner of Lou’s office. It was velvety yet hard as steel. “Rod. Went need to talk”, it said. Even though I did not stop pumping the little brown chick, a chill went down my spine when I heard those words. It was the thick timbre of the voice, I think, that alerted me.
I turned to look across the room. There, sitting in a red leather captains chair against the wall was the source of the sultry voice: Anna Conda.
I picked up the little taco yet again and turned her around so I could face Anna as I continued pumping her. At this point the Mexican girl was merely a masturbation toy I was using. I increased my pump so I could dump my load and get this over with. Then BAMM!!!, it was over. I removed the lass from my huge rod, after which her body crumpled to the floor. I did not know if she was dead or injured, or what had happened to her. But I did not care either, so I did not dwell on it.
I tried to compose myself the best I could, then walked over to stand before Anna so I could get to the bottom of all this business. “Well, well, well. Anna Conda. We meet again. Tell me, what brings you here, to my little neck of the woods?”
Anna replied, “Rod, put your dick away.” I looked down and, indeed, I had forgotten to stow my cock. Out of pure curtesy, I packed it away. Then I returned my attention to Anna. “Alright, Anna, what’s going on here?”
Anna launched into a startling tale about what brought her to me. As she spoke I became lost in her wanton beauty. She got up from her chair and walked about the room as she relayed her story, presumably to make it more dramatic and demonstrative. I got a full-on view of her body, and it was fantastic!!
She stands 5’10’’ and weighs 105 lbs. She is lithe. She was showing it off too, wearing a black, silk dress that landed just about her ankles. The top was low-cut, betraying just a bit of cleavage from her C-cup wineglass titties. She was not wearing a bra. Anna never wears a bra. Her nips were perfectly outlined through the silk. In fact, I think her nips were hard. It was probably something she did on purpose in an attempt to influence me. It was working.
Anna’s ass was perfect. It was not at all fat, but round enough not to be skinny. It was a fit figure skater’s ass. As she walked, I could see a tiny bit of jiggle emanating from her ass flesh, and then reverberated in the silky black dress she wore. My cock began growing hard again.
Her face was beautiful. Think Scarlett Johanson and Phoebe Cates rolled into one. But any sweetness this may evoke is quickly dispelled by Anna’s throaty voice with its thick Russian accent. I have known Anna for 20 years. Yet, she still does not look a day over 25. Jesus Christ!!! If ever there was a chick to die for ….. If I was one to delve into the belief of the paranormal, then I may conclude that Anna made a deal with the devil. But, I am not such a person.
And literally, Anna Conda is a chick to die for. She is deadly as fuck. She will kill you in a split second without a thought just because she does not like the shirt you are wearing. She can do it too. She is always armed and she knows how to use her weapons. Moreover, she is a total psychopath. This makes her doubly dangerous.
Anna and I have always gotten along for the most part. Like Anna, the dollar is my primary motivating factor. Such a mindset allows for understanding and predictability among people, which are elements that are sorely missing in many business dealings today that go on in the color of darkness.
Suddenly, Anna snapped me out of my thoughts. “Here’s your gun, Rod. Now let’s get started”, said Anna. She and Sergio were halfway through the door exiting Lou’s office when I said, “Hey, wait a damned minute!!! What are you talking about?!?”
They both stopped, and Anna walked back in and looked me in the eyes, saying “The plan, Rod. Let’s get on with the plan.” A little embarrassed, I sheepishly asked, “What plan?” Anna folded her arms and looked cross at me. After a moment to allow me to simmer in my shame, she asked, “You were not paying attention, were you, Rod?” I shook my head and looked down.
I heard a hammer cock. I jerked my head back up to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol pointed at my head that Anna was holding. I protested, “Look, it is not my fucking fault!! Put that fucking gun down!!!” I continued, “You were distracting me with …. Well.. you know, how you are dressed, and that hot, sultry voice…. You know?”
“So, instead of paying attention to the plan, you chose to eye-rape me. Is that what I am to understand your position is, Rod?”, she asked. Knowing that my life was on the line, I said, “Anna, look, you know I am horny to a fault. Then you come in here, swinging them tits around, wearing that silk dress showing off the crack of your ass…. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPENED?”
Anna lowered her gun. She knew that my explanation of being a total cocksman was truth. “Let’s go”, Anna curtly said. I obeyed.
Anna explained the plan to me again on the drive from The Plump Rump. She made me wear a blindfold so that I would not get horny during her explanation. Here is how it went:
Anna Conda was now working for the Russians. It seems that Putin caught wind of the Sasquatch project that the Chinese were working on. He also knew that the American government have been fucking with sasquatch for decades. Thus, he was very concerned about the existence of a bigfoot gap. He ordered the acquisition of a Sasquatch specimen immediately.
Moreover, said specimen must be prime. It needed to be the biggest, baddest sasquatch of them all – a true alpha – so as to speed things along. Putin did not want some weird shit-creature, is-it-a-sasquatch-or-is-it-a-dogman, kind of monstrosity. He wanted purebred, badass sasquatchery, and preferably from the American Pacific northwest.
Anna got in on it because she sold the intel to Putin about China’s Sasquatch operation. She then told Putin she could produce sasquatch corpses for him. She told him she had a contact (i.e., me). Thus, with Putin’s blessing and promises of riches to come, Anna set out to America to find me.
Now, here is where things got a bit squirrely. See, I agreed to procure some more dead sasquatch. I have no problem with killing sasquatch because, in my opinion, they are an abomination on this Earth. I kind of feel like I am doing God’s work by wiping out as many of them as I can. And given all the not-so-Godly stuff I have done, I feel like killing Sasquatch kind of offsets that to some degree.
But Anna, she was stuck on Putin’s instruction that she must supply him with apex Sasquatch. So she did not want to take my advice of heading to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska. Instead, Anna claimed to have pinpointed the whereabouts of a particularly gruesome sasquatch beast that she KNEW would win her a fortune from Putin if she brought it to him.
“So, where is this beast?”, I asked. Anna replied “Martha’s Vineyard”. I paused. Then I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out that I was not mistaken about what Anna had said. I continued, “Uh, Anna, there are no sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard, just a lot of wealth New Englander schmucks.”
Anna looked at me and told me I was wrong. Then she decided to attempt to taunt me. “Oh, Rod, mighty slayer of Bigfoot! Yet, you fail to take notice of where the biggest, most foul and rotten beast of them all makes its home. Jesus, Rod!! What kind of bigfoot hunter are you, anyway?” Anna then spit at my feet and wondered aloud whether she even needs me for this job.
I decided that I needed to straighten out the hierarchy here in order for this here deal to move forward. I said, “Well, Anna, feel free to truck on over to Old Whitey Beach and battle that beast. But, if there is a big old mangy sasquatch lurking around over there, then it is probably a fucking Nazi-Squatch. You know, those fuckers out there hate the Jews.”
The work “Nazi” visibly shook Anna. Her great grandfather died defending Leningrad. Her entire family there died of either starvation or cannibalism during Hitler’s siege during Operation Barbarossa. Anna despised Nazis. But she feared them too. After landing that punch, I decided to push my luck.
“Now, I am still willing to help you catch this here Nazi-Squatch, but you have to do something for me”, I said. Now Anna’s eyes were on me, and they were narrowing. I continued, “I want you to get bare assed naked and pleasure yourself while I stand over you and jack it.” Anna stared at me silently for a long moment. Then she replied.
“After the job is done, and you can get none of your … fluids… on me”, she said. I shook my head and countered, “Now, and I will ‘try’ to not get my spunk on you.”
However, Anna then turned the tables on me. In fact, she picked up the table and bashed my head in with it. She looked me in my eyes, then matter-of-factly said, “You get the beast, and your prize shall be a night with me, anything goes, darling.” Well, since this caused all of the blood to immediately drain from my brain, I had a lapse in judgment. “DEAL!!”, I said. Then we shook on it.
“OK, tell me more about this supposed monster sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard”, I said. I still was not ready to believe there was a monster out there. “I show you photo”, said Anna. She took out her phone, scrolled to find the photo, then handed the phone to me. “There. Sasquatch”, she said.
I stared at the photo and remained silent. After a long moment, I turned the phone so that Anna could see the photo and asked, “Uh, Anna, is THIS what you intended to show me?” She replied. “Yes! There…Sasquatch! The biggest, grossest monster around.”
Now, I could not argue with Anna that the image on her phone is a big, gross monster. Hell, it could actually be a sasquatch, and THE UBER sasquatch. It is most certainly the grossest thing on Martha’s Vinyard. But I somehow do not think this is what Putin is expecting.
I turned to Anna and said, “Anna, this is a photo of Michelle Obama. I know it looks vile, and has a huge, hulking body with large appendages where a woman should not have them. But, sweatheart, that ain’t no sasquatch. That’s a big, hairy Chicago street negro.”
Anna did not believe me at first. She was hard in her conviction that Obama was a sasquatch. “I have seen the Sasquatch beast you deliver to me for China. This … Michelle Obama …. It is big, and hairy, and ugly like the sasquatch beast, but worse.”
When the truth finally set it, I could see that it had kind of broken down poor Anna, if only just a bit. I put my arm around Anna and told her, “Look, Michelle O fooled you. Hell, she and her Hamas Hubby fooled millions of Americans, twice! At least you saw Michelle for what she is, to wit: a big, gross sasquatch, and NOT some kind a retarded leftist messiah.”
After that, things took a rather dark turn. “What if we still take her to Putin? We can make deal; sell her to Putin!!” At this point I held up my hands and said, “I’m out”, then turned and walked away. Anna followed, trying to get me to stay. At this point, I could tell that Anna was coming undone a little.
See, she had to produce for Putin. There is no telling what kind of secret deal she actually had with him. She had to deliver a big old mangy Obama …. Er, uh, I mean … Sasquatch, to Putin.
“Ok, Rod, we do your plan. We go out west to kill bigfoot. Huge, monster bigfoot. she said. I turned and looked Anna in her eyes and said the following: First, we bang for 48 hours straight, right now, so I can get my fill of you. Second, you pay me $10,000.00 cash upfront. Third, upon delivery of the dead bigfoot, you pay me $1 million immediately.”
Anna agreed to everything, but noted that at the present time it was her “time of the month”. I grimaced, as I will absolutely not go there (and she knows that). “Fine, next week we bang”, I said. She pointed out that I would be in the woods next week hunting sasquatch. “Fine, once I come out of the woods, then we bang – 48 hours straight”, I said. “Of course, darling!”, she agreed.
Well, it took several days to set up the hunt, but it finally happened. I was in Washington state at high elevation based on intel I has acquired that indicated that there was a monstrous 15’ tall sasquatch on the mountain range that had been murdering and eating hunters and hikers. After 3 months in these mountains without a trace of the creature I began to lose hope, thinking that I probably got some bad intel, or bad coordinates.
I got my satellite phone out to call for an extraction. Winter was setting in fast, and if I did not get off this mountain soon, then I would freeze and/or starve to death. Unfortunately, my contact did not answer. I tried for 2 days. No answer. I had been fucked. I wondered what had happened back in civilization that caused me to be abandoned like this. I resolved that I would get off that mountain and get to the bottom of this shit. There would be hell to pay for this betrayal!!’
I was able to get in touch with contacts from back home. I got old Billy Ray from Ellijay and Rattler on the phone and got them to come out here to Washington State to extract me. Rattler use to fly helicopters in the Army. He has an old Huey sitting in his front yard, to the chagrin of his HOA. He fired that sucker up, and him and old Billy Ray flew out here to my coordinates and extracted me.
After landing at a convenience store to buy some beer for the flight home, we headed east. Through the skies a way, Billy Ray said, “Well, Rod, I guess you is bout ready to git back home to Georgia, eh?” In fact, I was ready to go home. But I had to take care of some business first. I told them both to take me to New York City. They were both perplexed. All I said to them was “I have an old friend there I have to see before I can go home.”
I have intel on where Anna Conda stays when she is in the United States. She stays at certain hotels depending on what month she is here, and whether her check-in date is an odd or even number. This is for undercover work. I came across the code for her stays while doing the sasquatch work for China. She an I were caught in a snowstorm one night in Buffalo, NY, and had to share a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport. We had like 10 big Igloo ice chests with iced down sasquatch body parts with us in the room.
Anna was like, “No hanky panky, Rod. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Tomorrow we finish business.”
Frankly, I did not blame her for withholding her magnificent muff from me. I was tired as hell. But, I could not settle for nothing. So, when Anna was in the bathroom taking a shower, I started going through her suit case. I wanted to find some of her panties to jack off into. Instead, I found a little black notebook. Inside it contained her lodging codes, and some other interesting things. I photographed the contents with my phone and then put it back.
When Anna got out of the shower she was already dressed in her night clothes. She saw me lying on my back, nude on the bed, and jacking it. “Rod!! GROSS!!!! Go to the restroom to do that shit!!!”, she commanded. I just did it to get a rise out of her. LOL!!
So, if Anna is still inside the U.S., then using the codes I stole from her I can locate precisely where she will be that night. I studied it for a few moments then had my answer. Tonight she would be staying at the Dogman Inn on Hwy 95 South, Room 355. I told Rattler to get me there stat!
We had to stop several times for fuel and beer. Those Hueys go just a bit over a hundred MPH, you know. But eventually, we got there. I gave the boys some money and told them to go to the Waffle House for some coffee to sober up. Then they would fly me home.
I should mention that I also had Rattler’s fully auto Russian AK-74 with spare mags. During the long flight with 2 drunks from Washington State to New York City, I had worked myself up into a towering rage over how Anna fucked me on this Putin deal. She had clearly thrown me aside. But for what, exactly? I figured I would storm the hotel room, get some answers, then shower the room with gun fire.
I busted through the door of Room 355 at exactly 3:35 a.m. There she was. My entry roused her from slumber. I was pointing my rifle at her, center mass. She was shocked at the appearance of a gunman in her room at this time of night. However, she was not as shocked as one would think (this was not the first time something like this has happened to her).
I raised my face from the receiver just enough so she could see it was me. “Rod!!!”, she exclaimed. “What happened to you?!?!? I thought you had died up in those mountains when we never hear from you!” I replied, “Shove it up that cute little ass of yours, Anna. You fucked me. And not in the good way. What the fuck was all that shit about needing a sasquatch for Putin?!?”
Anna played dumb. But it struck me that I had been deliberately put out of the loop for 3 months. Why? Who wanted me away for that long, and why? What went on in my absence?!? I was just dying to know!!! I set my rifle down and pulled out my fixed blade knife, ready to get down to some real nasty work on Anna so I could get some truth. The pure evil of what I was about to do to her caused a wide death grin to grow on my face. Anna saw it. She knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and her eyes betrayed the shear terror she felt inside. I was engorged with blood lust. She knew she had fucked up one time too many this time!!
Suddenly came the sound of the toilet in the bathroom flushing. I was momentarily shocked. I did not expect anyone else to be there with Anna. Anna saw it in my face. I glanced at her and saw that the terror in her face was replaced with pleasure, a slight smile creeping over her face.
I was going to have to face off against this person in the bathroom, who would be out in a split moment. When I do that, I will have to turn 180 degrees from Anna, thereby making me vulnerable to her. I had only once choice: Shoot Anna first.
Just as this came to me, but just before I could act on it, the bathroom door opened. I had to deal with that person before Anna now. I spun around to see that it was a completely nude, and fat, white man. He was a real oafish blob. He looked surprised to see me. He also looked sort of familiar.
I next heard the crack of something hitting my skull hard. I remember the immediate hateful pain that shot through my body and the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I remember the dizziness, then falling to the floor. Clearly, as I fixed on the man from the bathroom, Anna had cracked me over the head with a blunt object.
I came to the next morning, Billy Ray and Rattler had manage to track me down based upon coordinates I left in the chopper that said “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. Billy Ray filled up the hotel room ice bucket with cold water and doused my head with it to bring me conscious. I was disoriented at first. But after a bit, what happened in this room the night before came back to me.
Honestly, I am surprised that Anna did not just kill me. I presume that she thinks she can leverage her drop-dead hotness to get me to do more shit for her in the future. She is absolutely right about that too. Rattler then said, “Hey, Rod, that snake bitch left a letter fer ya.”
He handed me the letter. This is what it said:
____________________________________________
“Dear Rod:
Sorry about the boo boo on your head. Hope it heals soon. Also sorry about leaving you in the mountains. I was not running a scam on you Rod. Rather, an opportunity arose for me to acquire a sasquatch body from another person. You may know him since you are a sasquatch hunter. His name is Matt Moneymaker. Anyway, until next time…..
Yours truly,
Anna Conda”
_____________________________________________
I could not fucking believe it. That was fatfuck Moneymaker in the hotel room earlier. Anna fucked Matt Fatfuck Moneymaker for a Sasquatch! That fat son of bitch!!
Billy Ray asked, “You ready to go Rod?” I stood up and said, “Yeah, let’s go.” Then Rattler said, “Hey, ya wanna stop and git some beer fer the ride home?” I replied “Hell yeah.”
I felt like I wanted to die. Thank God for beer and buddies. I don’t blame Anna. She is a fucking snake, and I knew that before this started. Also, I cannot really blame fatfuck Moneymaker for wanting to get some of that hot poon pie Anna serves up. I guess I have to blame fate for fucking me over this time. I even started thinking that next time I will just avoid Anna. But I know I won’t, thus making me subject to this sort of shit again. I had Rattler set us down in Charlottesville so I could buy some hard liquor.
2024.05.13 22:28 cusampro My Love Letter to RDR 2 after my first playthrough (contains spoilers for the story)
I finished my first ever playthrough of RDR 2 three days ago, but I did not know how to express my feelings about the game so I just decided to make this extremely long review of the game, RDR 2 is now officially the best game I have ever played in my life, firstly, hats off to rockstar for optimising the game so well that my laptop with 8 gigs of ram and NO DEDICATED GRAPHIC CARD can run the game on low settings smoothly, there was no lag, and the game never crashed, while buying the game from steam I was certain I will have to get a refund but It just worked flawlessly. The Gameplay: I am in love with the gunplay in this game, even though I'm more used to using automatic rifles in any game I play, I just can't stop using my guns again and again even though I have to click 2 times to fire a single shot, it just adds to the fun instead of being annoying for some reason, the melee combat and the fist fights are so satisfying I could punch NPC's all day, The random events make the game so much more engaging, even though riding around on my horse takes so much more time than fast travelling,I literally used fast travel only twice or thrice, because even though your riding around the horse for a ling time, every 5-6 minutes you get a random event and even though some events are just a repetition, I still enjoy them, The map is so fucking beautiful I would literally just stare at the scenery for hours, this game has given me so many wallpapers that even if a change it every single day I could at least last a year like that, the Honor system is a brilliant idea as it keeps me on the edge all the time to cover up for my sins lol The Story : I think we all agree that RDR 2 has one the best storylines of all time, you start as a character which most people didn't like and found boring at first(including myself) but by chapter 2 you grow to love the character and you could absolutely give your life to protect that man by chapter 6, The small conversations between the characters whether at camp or in any other part of the map are written so well it just warms my heart, my personal favourites are when Arthur, Hosea and Dutch go fishing in rhodes, and when Sadie and Arthur come back after buying stuff from the general store in Rhodes, The Antagonists, many games have Antagonists that everyone fucking hates, but this games takes it up a notch because you cant hurt or torture those assholes until the very last missions, Milton slips away every fucking time when I think i could get the chance to kill him, until the very last mission of chapter 6, fucking Micah, I did not like him at all since I was forced to rescue him from Jail, I've blown him up with dynamite so many times I can't even count anymore.
The Side Missions: Every single side mission in this game is crafted to perfection, I used to say that God Of War(2018) has the best side missions but my opinion has completely changed, My Favourite Side Missions were - The widow of willad's rest, The Veteran, Edith Downes, Sister Calderón and Evelyn Miller ones
I Love this game so much, It took me 2 months to complete this and these have been the best 2 months of my life.
I am now going to take a little break from video games, 100% completion of games liek this tire you to death, but, I need your guys help to decide which story game I play next, I really want to play RDR 1 but I don't have access to a console, I heard that its coming out for PC soon so thats good, I been saving up for a PS5 and I will be able to buy one soon!, the first thing I'm going to do is buy RDR 2 and play it in Ultra graphics.
anyways, thanks if you actually read through all of the things I said above, everytime I finish a game I just tweet that I completed it and thats it, but I thought this game deserves so much appreciation, the fact that RDR 2 did not win Best Game 2018 needs to be studied, I think that it's release date was just a month earlier than the event didn't give enough people time to properly finish the game, and the fact that God of War 2018 was another masterpiece, but RDR 2 deserved that award.
submitted by cusampro to reddeadredemption2 [link] [comments]
The Side Missions: Every single side mission in this game is crafted to perfection, I used to say that God Of War(2018) has the best side missions but my opinion has completely changed, My Favourite Side Missions were - The widow of willad's rest, The Veteran, Edith Downes, Sister Calderón and Evelyn Miller ones
I Love this game so much, It took me 2 months to complete this and these have been the best 2 months of my life.
I am now going to take a little break from video games, 100% completion of games liek this tire you to death, but, I need your guys help to decide which story game I play next, I really want to play RDR 1 but I don't have access to a console, I heard that its coming out for PC soon so thats good, I been saving up for a PS5 and I will be able to buy one soon!, the first thing I'm going to do is buy RDR 2 and play it in Ultra graphics.
anyways, thanks if you actually read through all of the things I said above, everytime I finish a game I just tweet that I completed it and thats it, but I thought this game deserves so much appreciation, the fact that RDR 2 did not win Best Game 2018 needs to be studied, I think that it's release date was just a month earlier than the event didn't give enough people time to properly finish the game, and the fact that God of War 2018 was another masterpiece, but RDR 2 deserved that award.
2024.05.13 22:27 LionsVice Cleaned my throttle body. How screwed am I? 2012 Jeep Patriot
I was getting error code: P2173 throttle actuator control system and my Jeep kept going into limp mode. I took out the throttle body, cleaned it, and put it back in. Now it’s doing this when I start it and it wants to idle at 1000-1500. Did I miss something or is my throttle body shot?
submitted by LionsVice to AskAShittyMechanic [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 22:26 jupiterfolf Pixie, Cannonball, or Living Tribunal?
These three are likely going to be my next 3 token shop pickups and I’m not sure what order to grab them in.
For each of their current decks I have all the other pieces (except for pixie prof X as I’d need cannonball as well as Pixie for that but that seems less favorable in the meta post leech buff)
I am currently playing the invisible woman version of onslaught ultron and even that budget friendly version feels powerful. I already have the rest of the pixie version of that deck so she’d open that up along with other pixie MMM decks
Cannonball is also very tempting as lockout seems like a deck I’d really enjoy. I don’t have anni so it’d end up being more move focused I think? I would up getting Nocturn so it seems like a reasonable thing to want to play. I think if this is the grab then pixie would be next.
Living tribunal is also up for consideration as I already have the Phoenix force and Hela decks that play him. The shift to Leech as your 4 cost tech card has me thinking that I’m more likely to see him or Shang chi than enchantress or super skrull. Especially since the ongoing decks seem to be shifting from spectrum to onslaught/ultron to account for leech being back. He is in next weeks spotlight cache and I will have a key. So I might go for the luck draw? I don’t have legion either and Sage is new so it seems pretty safe
submitted by jupiterfolf to marvelsnapcomp [link] [comments]
For each of their current decks I have all the other pieces (except for pixie prof X as I’d need cannonball as well as Pixie for that but that seems less favorable in the meta post leech buff)
I am currently playing the invisible woman version of onslaught ultron and even that budget friendly version feels powerful. I already have the rest of the pixie version of that deck so she’d open that up along with other pixie MMM decks
Cannonball is also very tempting as lockout seems like a deck I’d really enjoy. I don’t have anni so it’d end up being more move focused I think? I would up getting Nocturn so it seems like a reasonable thing to want to play. I think if this is the grab then pixie would be next.
Living tribunal is also up for consideration as I already have the Phoenix force and Hela decks that play him. The shift to Leech as your 4 cost tech card has me thinking that I’m more likely to see him or Shang chi than enchantress or super skrull. Especially since the ongoing decks seem to be shifting from spectrum to onslaught/ultron to account for leech being back. He is in next weeks spotlight cache and I will have a key. So I might go for the luck draw? I don’t have legion either and Sage is new so it seems pretty safe
2024.05.13 22:23 swissarmychainsaw How to move a bunch of dirt?
 | I have a bunch of dirt I need to move from the front of my house to the rear, where it will be used as fill on a slope (back of property is a canyon). The path from the front to the rear is a straight shot with a paved walkway, but there is a fence that would have to be opened. From the front yard to the back is probably 20 yards. THEN I need the dirt to go down a flight of stairs to it's final resting spot. Distance from top of stairs to dirt bottom is probably 25 feet ish. submitted by swissarmychainsaw to landscaping [link] [comments] How would you do this? I was thinking wheel barrow and a slide for the stairs part? What would you make a slide out of? I was going to make a mine cart with rail tracks, with a dumper to the slide, but my wife said I'm crazy. thanks for the help! https://preview.redd.it/yuflfas8690d1.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4220de1fb5f4f09965b45e2e570726d43e54078 |