Been trying every fix I know for over 3 days. For reference, I am using a Windows 11 laptop with an integrated Intel GPU and discrete NVIDIA GPU.
You do not need to change iPresentInterval= in either the Fallout4.ini and Fallout4Prefs.ini It also does not matter if the game is Windowed, Borderless or Fullscreen.
I had to disable my integrated GPU in the NVIDIA Control Panel. This is done by going to Manage Display Mode > NVIDIA GPU only. You will know this is successful if you now see Display options in the NVIDIA Control Panel.
Now go to Manage 3D Settings > Program Settings [ Fallout4.exe ] and change both Vertical Sync to On, Off, Adaptive, or Fast, but NOT Use the 3D application setting. Also change Max Frame Rate to 60 FPS (entirely your choice, but the game engine has its limitations).
For some reason my integrated GPU was blocking this setting from overwriting any changes made to the game even though the NVIDIA GPU was definitely being activated for the game. I came to this conclusion testing whether G-Sync was at fault, but thankfully it is irrelevant and can be left enabled.

WARNING: contains a lot of technical jargon re the big 4 and autism, so if you don't know what they are, ignore this post

1. Just started my career at the big 4, had a shit and awful time bc I suffered from burnout, put on a final written warning as the practice I am in is old school and the partner did not believe my underperformance was caused by my autism
   
2. The resourcing guy then put me on a very unique project that deals with exclusively calling strangers, dealing them ranting at me about their problems with our client, then ends with me recording all of that and trying to solve complex problems too. All my calls are monitored as are no. of customers contacted. If you know anything about autism, you'd know that this not autism friendly
   
3. The resourcing guy Andy didn't tell the manager on my engagement my autism and in my first week, I almost got thrown off bc Andy didn't understand why I couldn't tactfully deal with clients complaining to me about how shit our client company is without making the client company look bad
   
4. Eventually, I picked that shit up
   
5. During my time there, I hit my financial target and chased down the second highest amount of debt ( one of the performance metrics is the amount of money I can secure from debtors)
   
6. In my final week , unfortunately, I mixed up some exam dates and slid off the project early, but didn't tell the manager until he found out from my counsellor snitching on me... I didn't tell my manager bc by the time I found out it was a mistake, my replacement had already been found anyway
   
7. The client also complained about me accidentally cc'ing an external customer of theirs into an email chain where they were discussing what they can do about the customer's account ( not much cos the client is incompetent and I know what I did wrong-- I should be more careful re email etiquette next time). This is not a data leak bc the only data they were discussing was the client's data and they were all contactable via email
   
8. The manager also told me off for deleting some files and then recovering them from the recycling bin ... he pointed out it was a wider pattern of me doing things before asking/not informing people of things when they happen/ poor stakeholder management
   
9. All of those aren't material to the engagement except for the client complaint
   
10. I had to write my own self-evaluation and send it to manager. I was honest with the points I need to improve on:
    

Points to improve and how:
a) Refresh Excel data analysis skills by attending courses provided by company
b) Communicate more with senior stakeholders before taking action i.e., know when I am making an important decision and inform the senior stakeholders about it before I take action
c) Stop assuming stakeholders know everything I do so that I can inform stakeholders when I change things i.e., when I changed the statuses of some customer interactions on the spreadsheet over the weekend, I should have informed MANAGER X as he needed to ensure the client reporting was accurate day-to-day; I should have explained to MANAGER X too that sometimes clients promised to pay etc. and then a few days late would email me with a problem they found and refuse to pay, thereby changing their status
d) Strike the right balance between problem solving myself and knowing when to lean on others for help e.g., whilst I have been proactive in reaching out to XX employees to help me, I should have spent more time explaining the issue to them instead so the problem could be solved quicker
e) Enhance ability to make perform well in time-restricted situations i.e. through practice, ensure I do not sacrifice quality when finishing tasks to time restrictions

I'm a 45 year old guy. single no kids. All names are fake.
Okey here is the short version. About 24 years ago my then fiancé Ella (then 20) told me she was pregnant. I was over the moon. We did not set a wedding date yet, but now we wanted to wait till the child was 2-3 to be part of the wedding party.
When she was about 7 months pregnant my world shattered. A "friend" (lets call him Luke) told me that the child was his and not mine. This lead to a physical fight and Ella took his side. We were done, I broke up with her there. she moved in with Luke. I did demand a paternity test, if the child was mine I demanded to be in it's life. After the birth of the girl the test was done twice. By a clinic I choose and one she choose. Turned out she was not mine. I was destroyed and left town. She could have her life, I didn't want to witness it.
And not to the present. A month ago my work brought me back to my home town temporary for two weeks. I ran into Ella with her daughter Nicky (23) at an impromptu school reunion. Ella wanted to catch up. I wasn't angry anymore, but also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled. After while I sat at a table nursing a drink. Ella has already left and Nicky sat at my table. She asked for 10 minutes to talk. She knew about my history with her mother. And it was clear that she resented her mother. Because.... Luke was also not her bio dad. Ella cheated on me with at least 2 people. 23andme revealed the real bio dad, he had passed away already. When Nicky was 7 Luke found out and kicked them out. And it became the scandal. Nicky was bullied her whole live for being the affair baby. Luke's family disowned her. All the cousins she was close with, were gone all of a sudden. She blamed her mother.
I asked her why she told me all of this, She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal. And she is a product of that betrayal. She does not expect anything from me, she just needed someone to talk to that would understand. I felt for this kid, so we kept talking. We exchanged contact info and went our own ways. Next day she wanted to talk more, to vent more. So we met in the bar of the hotel I was staying. We had drinks and she ranted about her life. We talked till late and when the bar closed Nicky was too drunk to drive home and since I didn't know where she lived I couldn't even get her an uber. So I took her to my room. I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds. So she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened, Next morning we had breakfast and she left while I went to work. A few nights I met Nicky in de bar because she had a lot to rant about. We also talked about her future and she expressed interest to move out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby. Here is where I am the asshole. I made a move on her one night. At first she walked away. I thought I blew it so I went up to my room. An hour later she send me a text asking if I was in my room. As soon as I answer with yes she knocked on the door.
I was sober, she was sober, I had time to think, I could have send her away, but I didn't. This is the daughter of my ex-fiancé. If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nicky as my own daughter. But I found out and Nicky is not my daughter, I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up, I never saw her as a daughter, the first time I saw her was a week ago. So yes I slept with her, and then again.
Nicky is more vengeful then I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn't going to do it if I didn't want to. I was Okey with letting her know, It took a little convincing in how we would let her know. We took a picture together, clearly in bed, clearly naked but covered by sheets, and she send it as a one time view picture to her mother via Instagram message with the caption: "I can finally call him daddy"
Ella called and they got in a fight, Then she got in a fight with me (still over the phone), I thought I was over the betrayal, but it seems like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out.
I had 4 more days there, and Nicky stayed in my hotel room those 4 days.
Now I'm back home. Nicky is currently packing everything, she going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment. She will stay with me for a week maybe more before she flies away. She has going no contact with her mother. I have also blocked Ella on everything.
Yes, Nicky and I are both broken. I refused therapy for years, but after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I've decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nicky, she said when she is settled she will.
I'm not even going to ask if I'm the asshole, I know I am.

Hi. My husband and I made a big mistake and both claimed exemptions on federal and state taxes. We miscommunicated on who was claiming exemptions for the kids. W4s have been corrected. However, we filed my taxes MFS for student loan reasons. We normally file MFJ but I was in grad school and not making much the last few years. Our taxes are usually super easy to do so we have done them on our own and sometimes hired HR block when we don’t feel like doing it on our own. We assumed MFS would be similar but it was not (sold home (no capital gains thankfully), random credits, stocks etc and having to figure out how to split all of those, loss of child care credits, and the big whoops in the w4). We stupidly submitted mine first (MFS) and then went to do my husband’s half and that is where we saw the major taxes owed and it was not offset by any credits. We realized that we made a huge mistake on the w4s. We went straight to HR Block and spoke to their specialist and she said she would take a look and help file an extension and amendment. However this was a few weeks ago. I have yet to hear back from her and cannot get a hold of her at the office. The office is rarely open. So now we are at the end of April and I assume we owe 8k federal 1-2k state. I ran both MFS (both of us) and MFJ (did not submit this obviously this is after the fact) and she had said I was probably correct. My MFJ would be cheaper to do + taking the L on next years IBR loan payments (500 month, husband makes almost 40% more than me), fixing our W4s to start filing MFS for 2024 taxes.
I’m frustrated (at myself for such a mistake) but do not want to get to May 1st and have yet to file amended plus pay. We have the money to pay. My husbands taxes were not submitted because we were going to amend mine to include him for MFS. Which we can do. But an extension was not filed and I can’t get a hold of the tax lady!!!
Would I be stupid to amend it myself (via HR block, 1040-X, form 843 to attempt penalty relief since we have never had tax issues before, and possibly get an extension by making a small payment via EFTPS but idk if this works after April 15th) to avoid getting beyond April?

The point of this post is for me to understand some of what I believe to be "common" behaviors, and to see if anyone has had similar experiences. Sorry if this is long, I typed it out and didn't realize it would be haha. I guess this turned into a bit of a vent.
Background: We are both 35, Me (m) her (F), we both have a child from previous relationships. We met in Oct of 2019, we had gone to HS together but never talked or hung out then. We met up through mutual friends, and began hanging out often right out of the gate. This were whirlwind, we slept together on the first date, which she told me "She never does". Told me she slept better in my presence than any other time in her life. I was the hero, and all was well. (Same old story lol) and by Jan we were talking about living together. The onset of Covid rushed this, as lockdowns began, we grabbed up a rental and moved in together. We wanted to at least be together as a family if Lockdowns were coming. Thigs were still good for months, and we both handwaved the speed at which thing moved, happily blaming it on covid. We went on an amazing vacation in June of that year (road trip, the roads were empty, again, because Covid.) We got a puppy on this trip and surprised our kids when we got back. By this time there had been a few arguments, but nothing I saw (at the time) as any red flags. She brought her ex up somewhat often in the beginning, and we laughed at some of his antics together. He isnt the brightest bulb, but I didnt see this as a red flag at the time. However, as the summer waned, the arguments kicked up in frequency and intensity. by September, she was telling me things like "you should find someone better" "Im not worth it" etc. I was heartbroken, but now I see this as a "soft exit" she was attempting. I didn't bite, I loved her and was devoted. The arguments got worse, and her "soft exit" turned hard, fast. By late Nov, she was a miserable, stressed angry person who was never happy with anything. Then she kicked me out (and my son, who was 7 at the time). I was on the lease, and didnt actually have to leave, but I did because I wanted to be amicable and I was still so in love with her. Kicked out last week of Nov. She had a new BF by Christmas, and spent the next few months in NC. Come Feb 2021, she started reaching out occasionally. Initially about something benign, like mail. then they just kept going. I was asking to see her, etc, she kept telling me "me talking to you makes NEWBF uncomfortable, we shouldn't" etc etc. I said I didnt care if he was uncomfortable, HER AND I were meant to be etc etc. This back and forth continued through that summer, and in Aug she broke up with him, and I moved back in that Sept. Whirlwind # 2, which as you all my have guessed, didn't last as long. By Jan-March of 2022, we were arguing a lot again, and things were starting to feel awful again between us. My SIL was helping her get a new much more lucrative job, and it "wasn't happening fast enough" and she was all kinds of touchy, angry all the time. Eventually she DID end up getting the job and working from home, and was much happier. Looking back however, I believe this changed effect her view of my "value", as she was now making more than I was. She started complaining a lot about me not pulling my weight, but our budget and exepenses hadnt changed, nor had the amount I was contributing to these things. Seasons effect her mood quite a lot, and by Spring we had gotten a 2nd puppy, and things were again pretty happy most of the time. We planned a 2nd vacation, for the same week in June as the first one, and this time we took our kids. Amazing vacation, best week of my life. During this vacation, i bought a ring at a local mom and pop jewler, and with the help of the kids, popped the question during the high point of our vacation. She was thrilled, kids were thrilled. We head home, 2 weeks of happy, excited wedding brainstorming. Then she went cold. The romance died off very quickly. She started going to a new Gym, and would talk to me about people (guys) she had met there, and brought them up often, talking about how cool they were. I eventually told her these felt like comparisons and I wasnt a big fan, but was glad she was enjoying a new sport. Then my annual "Summers end" camping trip with friends was a drama fest, where she drank too much, and was very flirty (just BARELY mild enough to be able to brush it off when asked about it) with one of my best friends. He was even offput by it, which he and I discussed after the fact. The last few weeks of summer were pretty awful. She caused a big scene at my brothers house, and cried, smearing her makeup, and came out looking a mess. My SIL told her to go back in, as to not worry the kids and she said "they should see this, they should see how me makes me FEEL!" So by late Sept. she was telling me to leave again, I was trying to fix things. One morining right after I put the kids on the bus, she blew up at me over my angry response to two weeks of passive agressive comments about a stupid water jug. She told me she wanted me gone then and there. My son got on the bus, and never got to come home. Never said goodbye to his step sister, his dogs, his house (which he LOVED), his classmates or anything else. I had to pull him from that school, a week into 2nd grade, so Myexwife and I could enroll him in the town she lives in. I had nowhere to go. I had stayed 9 months at a friends house the first breakup, but that wasnt an option this time. I ended up having to stay in a camper for 6 months, which STRONGLY jeopardized my 50/50 custody. Because kids shouldnt sleep in campers through the winter. OBVIOUSLY. 2 months after kicking me out, she told me she found out she had been pregnant since July, and hadn't known. She said she was scheduling a last min termination. We hadn't talked in weeks at that point. She went and did that, and we went back to NC. She stared dating a new guy, from the gym. That didn't last, and she was hitting me up for hookups by January (which had to be secret, I was blocked on SOcial Media). I lapped it up like the eager doormat I was. She went cold on me again in Feb, started dating another new guy, which lasted another few months. Recycle for a month in July, and was very upfront and cold about it being purely physical. I told her that was really hard as i obviously still loved her. She told me she was "figuring herself out, and was blissfully unattached". I missed her, our home, our dogs, our family. She knew it. She slow faded me through August, and I stopped reaching out. October of last year rolled around, and I shot her a message, I was curious, still hurt, and lonely. She told me she met someone new, he made her SO HAPPY, and that i shouldn't reach out anymore. I said Okay, and didn't. I sent a very business-like, typed, letter in early Nov, asking for the last of my belongings back. That was all that was in the letter. Her new BF texted me and was a vulgar, crass machismo tough guy. Couldn't articulate a full sentence, but was basically telling me to "leave them alone, give up, stop bothering them" I was confused and told him I hadn't reached out since Oct and Wasnt planning to, especially after that awful conversation. Months of peace and healing began. Then, as I was living my life, back in Jan, I got more angry texts from him, this time about some mail that had shown up with my name on it (i had no idea). Again i was accused of reaching out, being a stalker, all sorts of nonsense. I again told him I didn't care, and that if he reached out like this again I would take needed steps, blocked him, and went on with life. Then, it happened AGAIN about 2 weeks ago. I got a call from her number, which I didn't answer, then a stream of angry texts, inviting me to go fight him, him threatining me, accusing me of having been abusive of her (she said the same thing to me about her ex) him telling me how much of a "B***h and a P***Y, and a loser" he has be told I am. He bragged that he "put a ring on it". I had to laugh at that one, (good luck dude) again I said, last straw, if i hear from you again, Im calling the cops. I dont care, go away etc. I haven't heard anything since. However she did reach out to my SIL the day after, about something totally random, and they hadnt spoken in ages, but had been very close when we were together. So odd.
Here are the points I want to address. 1. Serial Monogamy. - Can they ever be alone? like, EVER?

1. Cognitive Dissonance - It took me SO LONG to realize that the person I fell in love with, and STAYED in love with way too long was simply a smokescreen. Then during the breakups, I feel sooooo "less than" to be replaced by obvious downgrades. However, only recently, I've truly come to understand that All of the "In love" versions of her are equally fake, and uniquely cultivated for each new man. The person I loved was never real, i think it just felt "realer" to me, because were together longer, and we were what felt like, a perfect match. The argumentative, manipulative, callous and unscrupulous person i knew at the end of relationships was the real her. I thought that was the broken, backside of her perfect shining coin all along. Nope. Other way around.
   
2. Serial Recycles - She doesn't do this with every guy, so why did she do it with me? (although, I think I've seen the last of the recycle attempts, and I wouldn't participate in them at this point either.
   
3. Patterns - Has anyone else had a partner that is very sensitive to things like changing seasons, seasonal depression, or even erratic behavior near the full moon? All of these things applied to her, and one could almost set a calendar to her flighty moods and outbursts.
   
4. Projection, Smear campaign, and re-writing history - All the awful things she told Newguy, (whom i dont know and have never met) to make him hate me so much, but I fell victim to the same mind games about her ex before me. I can't understand what they see as profit for triangulation though. That part has always confused me greatly. What is to be gained by doing this? What's more is that I think she actually ends up believing these smear lies she makes up to crap on her ex, in order to praise the newguy. Then there are all the arguments that were entirely my fault, despite being very conveniently timed for her, and very manufactured feeling.
   

So again, sorry for length. Have any of you had similar experiences? Are these like, default BPD behaviors? Everyday I look back, and am equally amazed that I remained blind for so long, that I let this be done to me, and scariest of all, the "boiling frog" circumstances under which it happened, and progressed without my noticing it.
I can even now, say, knowing all I do, that she is very smart, charismatic, and so convincing. I've heard her brag about how she can manipulate co-workers and subordinates, friends and family. The flags were there all along, but would'nt you know? red flags are hard to see while wearing rose colored glasses.
Thank you from coming to my TEDtalk haha.

N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.
​
For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
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• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition (removed from Steam Store)
• Spec Ops: The Line (removed from Steam Store)

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• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

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For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
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• Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition
• Soulstice
• Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition

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• A Little to the Left
• Black Book

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• Superliminal
• The Talos Principle Gold Edition
• The Witness

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• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
• Life is Strange: True Colors
• Scorn
• There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition

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• Hellpoint
• Remnant: From the Ashes
• Tails of Iron

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• Hell Pie
• OTXO
• The Red Lantern
• Twin Mirror

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• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Gloomhaven - Solo Scenarios: Mercenary Challenges
• Small World
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Be not Afraid...
• Small World - Cursed!
• Small World - Grand Dames
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• Splendor
• Splendor - The Cities
• Splendor - The Strongholds
• Splendor - The Trading Posts
• Terraforming Mars

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• A Short Hike(?)
• A Story Beside(?)
• Aces & Adventures(?)
• Arcade Spirits(?)
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock(?)
• Beyond Blue(?)
• Cat Quest(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!(?)
• EARTHLOCK(?)
• Harmony's Odyssey(?)
• Homeworld Remastered Collection(?)
• Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure(?)
• Minecraft: Java Edition - MCC Island Jingle Jam Rewards Pack(?)
• Monster Prom(?)
• Sifu Deluxe Cosmetic Pack(?)
• Spirit of the Island(?)
• SUPERHOT(?)
• Tinytopia(?)
• Toodee and Topdee(?)
• Train Valley 2(?)
• Turbo Golf Racing(?)
• Valthirian Arc: Hero School Story(?)
• Xenonauts(?)

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• Angry Birds VR: Isle of Pigs

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• Dark Deity
• Edge Of Eternity
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising

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• CRYPTARK
• Dead Estate
• Paint the Town Red

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• Lost Castle
• My Time At Portia

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• Toodee and Topdee

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• WWE 2K23

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• Chivalry 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• The Forgotten City
• GRIME
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition

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• Back 4 Blood
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman™: Arkham Origins
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Mad Max
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• Mortal Kombat 11
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Add-On Bundle
• Mortal Kombat XL

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• Alan Wake Collector's Edition
• Bendy and the Dark Revival
• Pathologic 2

​

• CODE VEIN
• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• Katamari Damacy REROLL
• TEKKEN 7

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• A Juggler's Tale
• Spirit of the Island

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• Boomerang Fu
• PlateUp!
• ROUNDS
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Ultimate Chicken Horse

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• Fae Tactics
• Flynn: Son of Crimson
• Ikenfell
• Ring of Pain
• Void Bastards

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• After the Fall® - Deluxe Edition
• Zero Caliber VR

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• Patch Quest

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• Five Dates
• Late Shift

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• Demon Turf
• Pumpkin Jack

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• Trover Saves the Universe

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• Coromon
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
• Jack Move

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• Road 96
• SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator

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• A Short Hike

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• Cloudpunk
• Ghostrunner
• Severed Steel

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• Eternal Threads
• Turbo Golf Racing

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• Lethal League Blaze
• OlliOlli World
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS

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• Dragon Fist: VR Kung Fu
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners

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• Celeste

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• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Hollow Knight

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• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery

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• Bionic Commando: Rearmed
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Lost Planet 3 - Complete
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®

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• Aground
• Calico
• Evan's Remains
• StarCrossed
• Teacup

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• Into the Radius VR

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• Aliens: Fireteam Elite
• Founders' Fortune
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp

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• Nomad Survival
• Scarlet Tower

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• The Citadel
• Viscerafest
• WRATH: Aeon of Ruin

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• The Blackout Club

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• BIOMUTANT
• Edge Of Eternity
• Golden Light

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• Call of the Sea
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

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• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

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• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

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• The Last Campfire

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• Sakura Swim Club

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• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

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• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

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• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

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• Conan Chop Chop
• Grow: Song of the Evertree

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• Styx: Shards of Darkness

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• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

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• Arizona Sunshine

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• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

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• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker

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• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

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• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

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• Crown Trick

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• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

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• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

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• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

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• In Sound Mind

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• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

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• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

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• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil

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• EVERSPACE™

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• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

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• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

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• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

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• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

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• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

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• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

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• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

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• Bartlow's Dread Machine

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• Blaston

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• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

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• The Walking Dead

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• Total Tank Simulator

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• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

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• XCOM® 2

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• Black The Fall
• Goetia

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• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

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• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

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• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay key)

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• Highway Blossoms
• HunieCam Studio
• KARAKARA
• Sunrider Academy
• Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

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• Civilization VI - Australia Civilization & Scenario Pack
• Civilization VI - Vikings Scenario Pack

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• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

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• Hacknet
• Satellite Reign

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• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

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• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

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• Ame no Marginal -Rain Marginal-
• KARAKARA
• Memory's Dogma CODE:01
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project - Season Pass

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• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met
• Sakura Angels
• Beach Bounce
• Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
• Blue Rose

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• Lionessy Story
• My Personal Angel
• Natural - Beyond Nature -
• Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

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• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

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• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

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• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Impossible Creatures Steam Edition
• Lethal League
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• Tempest - Treasure Lands
• Tempest - Original Soundtrack
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

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• Tenta Shooter
• Gun Gun Pixies
• DUSK
• For The King
• Book of Demons
• PlateUp!
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
• Steel Rats™
• Hue
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (Epic key)
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace
• The Invisible Hours
• Synergia
• ROCKETRON
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
• Dead Age
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Slain: Back from Hell(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Tower of Time
• Danger Scavenger
• Survive the Nights
• Valfaris
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• This War of Mine

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• Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons

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• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• Book of Demons
• Broken Age
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
• Crying Suns
• Crying Suns
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Liberated (GOG key)
• Moon Hunters
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG key)
• WARSAW
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC (I believe this redeems as the linked Complete Pack, minus the soundtrack)
• ΔV: Rings of Saturn(?)

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• Arcade Paradise
• Calico
• Say No! More
• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Morkredd
• Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Survivalist: Invisible Strain
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• ENDLESS™ Space 2
• Surviving the Aftermath
• The Long Dark

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• Duck Game
• SCP: Secret Files
• WWE 2K23
• The Jackbox Party Pack
• Outward (redeems as the base game only, not the linked Definitive Edition)
• Outward - The Soroboreans
• Outward Soundtrack
• Blade Assault
• Founders' Fortune
• Hokko Life
• Monster Crown
• Othercide
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
• ScourgeBringer
• Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

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WANT:
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• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• Astebreed: Definitive Edition
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2
• Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• Myst (2021)
• NBA 2K23
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition
• OPUS: Rocket of Whispers
• OPUS: The Day We Found Earth
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• RAGE
• Resident Evil Village
• The Jackbox Party Pack 5
• The Jackbox Party Pack 6
• The Jackbox Party Pack 7
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War

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• any extra copies of WWE 2K23

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IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

Ive been close friends with this girl for over seven years, ever since high school. We met while dating friends of the other, and even after those relationships ended we continued to hang out. Through thick and thin, we've always had each other's backs and I’d always gone out of my way to help her however I could ( including saving her from offing herself multiple time and running away). But then college came around, and things got complicated. We went our separate ways, but we stayed in touch, visiting each other, going on vacations, you name it. Everything was cool until sophomore year when she got into this messed-up abusive relationship. She started acting all distant and weird, and every time I brought it up, she'd brush it off like it was no big deal. I tried to give her space and advice, but it was tough seeing her go through that. When the relationship finally ended, she came running to me for reassurance, and I stupidly gave it to her. But then I found out she'd been lying and even hooking up with one of my close friends. I was crushed, we had made boundaries not to get involved with people close to the other so that it wouldn’t ruin the friendship, but I tried to forgive her because, deep down, I still cared about her.
We stayed in touch, but things just weren't the same. She'd lie and deceive me, all while pretending everything was cool between us. I tried to let it slide, but it kept happening, and I couldn't take it anymore. I finally decided to cut her out of my life, but she showed up at my door, begging me to forgive her. And, I'll admit, I've always had a soft spot for her, so I caved and gave her another chance.
For a while, things seemed good again. We talked more, opened up to each other, and I started to think maybe she'd changed. But then she went and slept with one of my coworkers and matched with a bunch of my friends on Tinder. I was done. I didn't even care at that point; I was focused on moving on with my life.
Then, out of nowhere, she comes back to me after another messed-up relationship, pouring her heart out, sharing memes, the whole nine yards. I let my guard down again, thinking maybe this time would be different. But when I finally confessed my feelings for her, she shut me down, saying she just wanted to be friends. It crushed me, but I tried to play it cool. I said I understood, but I couldn't shake that feeling of betrayal. Months went by, and I kept my distance until I saw her posting stories with some guy at a wedding. That was it for me; I blocked her on everything. Now she's trying to make me out to be the bad guy, and reach out through apps like Venmo and through my family but honestly, I don't even know anymore and I’m tired of dealing with it.

Growing up my parents weren't so horribly abusive as some of the things that I've read here. I remember both good and bad things but most of the time I just don't think about it. My brother doesn't remember much of his childhood, and my dad is bothered by that. He feels like some of the things that he's said never happened, and I don't know if thats true or not but he's definitely defensive any time our childhood get brought up. Which is hard because I have to say that i have good memories and just not talk about that bad ones. I almost feel gaslit. But I don't want to hurt him. He's a very sensitive and caring man and I don't think he realized what the isolation does to people. They were just trying to do what was best. I saw my mom has struggle with what I know now is mental illness and I definitely got some of that. She always napped so much. My parents were always very emotionally volatile too. Just as a kind of example I remember another homeschool mom stopped by one day and my mom was in the shower so we were trying to tell her through the door and she turned off the water and SCREAMED "I'm trying to shower" loud enough for her to hear at the front door and with such anger. Or my dad threw a chair across the room when he found out I was doing poorly in school. Absolutely mortifying. So that's probably why I've blocked a lot of stuff out but it definitely still comes up if I think about it. And they wonder why I don't always respond to them when they text me as an adult. I couldn't bear to tell them how I feel about Christian doctrine now. In short I have always had more questions then answers. Once I got to the point where I realized that even if God is real, he certainly isn't benevolent that really lifted the curtain for me. I think just suffering personally and seeing all of the hurt and horrible things in the world kind of shattered any illusion that was being taught to me. I've struggled with clinical depression since a young age and none of the therapy or medicine I tried did anything to help. I struggle with severe ADHD symptoms and am afraid that would be my experience again. I kind of just internalize and deal with everything on my own. And now I'm left trying to pick up the pieces. I don't know why I struggle so much with social interactions or maintaining relationships. I feel so much dread about being alive every day. I just want to disappear

Hey Reddit,
Throwaway account. I am going to do my best to make this as quick as possible, I hate the posts that are novels but I also get it after typing this, because theres a lot of nuance in the context.
I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (28F) for two years. When I met her she seemed great in many ways and I quickly became very attracted to her. She checked virtually every box. She is a homebody like I am, she holds he same values, we want the same things in life, we are very compatible sexually and in many ways she is more giving and understanding than virtually every girl i've talked to.
The problem is, she keeps breaking my trust and otherwise has some major red flags.
About 3 months into talking, I caught her lying for the first time. She was snapchatting another guy she told me was just a friend sexually. She didn't know that I knew, I reacted by making us officially, she blocked the guy without being prompted to.
5 months in I found out she was an alcoholic, we've spent that last year and some change helping get her out of it. It took some work but she is 4 months sober as of today (if I can trust that)
6 months in I found her lying for a second time. She lied about drinking.
9 months in, I caught her lying about her grades at school. Long story short she was a college dropout and I, along with her family, convinced her to get back into school and finish her degree. She failed a class but told me she was passing with strait A's, we fought about it.
1 year in I caught her lying about her grades again. I broke it off with her but we had a 2 week trip in europe already planned with her family and I didn't want to waste the money I spend on it, so we went and ended up back into a relationship.
I am highlighting the big lies that were tied to other red flags, but there are other little lies sprinkled throught. They all seem to revolve around "not wanting to disappoint". IE "did you put in your two weeks at your job, they should probably know" - "yes I did" but she didnt...
a year and 3 months in I got a job offer across the country, and after a lot of discussion she ended up picking up her life and moving across the country with me.
That brings me to today. For the first time in almost 9 months I caught her lying again. I noticed something weird about her school and asked if she was failing classes. She told me no, I told her to be honest and she told me she was being honest. I told her I was going to ask her to prove it then left the room. When I came back she gave me a hug and told me she did fail a class and that the lie just slipped out (an excuse shes used many times at this point). I honestly feel like she just told me because I told her I was going to ask her to prove it.
I guess I just dont know what to do anymore. I do love this girl and can see a future with her, but i'm not okay with feeling like this or not being able to trust my significant other. Its annoying because the lies almost seems like she cares in some twisted way, as if she doesn't want to disappoint others. I guess my question is, how should I approach the relationship and is there any way to get her to be honest with me?

I got banned from Lemmy servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statures - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human - regardless of their race and age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
~Please actually watch these before jumping to conclusions so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!~
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire (you'll need to find this on YouTube yourself)
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: ~why so much hate on the female human - even as children?~ Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body?
And ~what's the big deal with nipples?~ I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather ~bitter!~ They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age! Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though ~there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!~) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So ~I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced!~ Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes, Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with ~YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting")~, I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across.
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this.It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations ~really is lost~. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, the inconsistencies of female human censorship.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will step up, stand up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body!

What a miserable morning out there in the land of freedom. Garden in here is flooded and woke up to the noise of the rain hitting the window. It just puts you in a grim mood. Wont be going down for breakfast as it consists of 2 cold slices of toast and a small scoop of cold beans, delicious right!
Had a legal meeting this morning and they told me that because I had savings and assets etc I have to pay the £8k bill. Well I can assure you that my savings have diminished since being in here so lets have a rethink about this shall we.
My solicitor also told me that the Police officer who charged me was also in court but I didn’t see him. He was a complete dick of a man. Apparently he is not happy with my sentence and the fact that CPS lowered my charge. He has said that he wants to relook through the case and my personal devices just in case he has missed something and he is wanting my PIN codes.
Solicitor told me not to give them to him as he has no reason to go through anything again, or even speak to witnesses as the case has been closed. If he wants to go through them then he can send them off which will cost £3000 per item. He will soon realise it’s a waste of his time and im 100% confident with that.
She said with that, he could if he wanted to then charge me with failing to provide PIN codes.
So I said im not failing to give them, I just don’t remember then. Ill provide numbers if he wants, just unsure if they will be correct….
Had a nice chat with J this morning and he said his pad made got woken up early, given 20 mins to pack his belongings and they shipped him to Doncaster. Fuck that shit. Id put razors in my mouth like the other boys do and refuse to go. Apparently try if you do that then they won't ship you or wrestle with you due to the risks involved, so it's a common thing g to do. But Doncaster - That’s hours away from family and friends – no thank you Mr Governor – Shove it up your arse. J is still finding it hard so he went over to see his ex padmates ‘boyfriend’ and brokedown to him yesterday. Ah crikey, alarm bells. J will be bum raped next. His ex padmates boyfriend is a crazy idiot who grooms people with food and chocolate in return for sexual favours. I like J and I know how vunerable he is, I cant be allowing that to happen.
As im writing this football is on and we have just scored. The prison has just gone crazy., doors being banged and kicked, loads of shouting, music gets blasted. Its like hooligan central.
I think all the excitement has happened on block 1 today though as the alarms have been going crazy. All you can hear is security calling for the officers to respond on the radios. ‘To respond to block 1. PC05, PC07, PC02, PC03 and PC09’ The officers hear their identity numbers and go from a casual walk to a full on sprint towards the gates yelling for people to move out of the way.
Think they are all still fully alart though as 3 days before I came to block 2, ‘Crazy C’ was moved wings and ended up stabbing an officer in the face missing his eye by millimetres. He has now been shipped out.
In the cell now and waiting for the Selby boxing match to start.
So watching the fight and I said ‘Gosh the Mexican boxer looks really small and slim compared to the average boxer’ to which my fuckwit of a prick cell mate gives a standard racist response. ‘All Mexicans are. That’s why you see them trying to get into America for food and a better life’.
What kind of twat says these things? Where is his mind at? Seriously! So naturally I have another go at him. I cant help myself. It went something like this. ‘Firstly I wasn’t saying he was malnourished or looked hungry, but most boxing fights I have seen are of big muscly men. Secondly, you’re a stupid uneducated mother fucking racist shit and I just want to throw your head against the wall and watch you bounce off it. You really irritate me’.
Im not a violent person in general but his stupidity and idiotic views make me like this. I just cant sit back and leave him say things like that and I think its OK, because its not. He is a massive racist and that annoys me. Think my face is coming back to its normal colour now and not so red.
Called my dad and asked him if he was watching the boxing. I said im shouting at the TV as if Selby can hear me – then I hung up on him as the fight started again. I have no idea what im talking about but right now I think im the commentator.

Just finished the strawberry jam intermediate lobby today. Had a great time with it, huge thanks and appreciation towards all the modders who worked on it. Here are my rankings of the levels and some tiny thoughts about them. Tell me where you agree/disagree.
Easy Maps:
Sleeping under stars: 6/10. Good refresher for jellyfish gameplay. Not the most interesting or fun map otherwise. Heartside room: 6/10
Frosted Fragments 7.5/10 Block pushing is a very fun new mechanic, cool lore tidbits and atmosphere. Wish they could have made some more fast paced rooms making use of the fast-bubble tech learned in the gym. Heartside: 8/10 Flows extremely well.
Fifth dimension: 9/10 Atmosphere is a personal favourite, and although there is no crazy tech or particular mechanic (i guess set-ups for drops; but wouldn't call that a mechanic) this level flowed incredibly well to execute. Heartside 9.5/10: love the loops just to get an extra dash, felt very very fluid.
Low-G-botany: 8/10 Atmosphere is amazing, I feel there is a missed opportunity making some sections that go from inside (normal gravity) to outside in 1 go to make you adapt to that. Heartside: 5/10: technically just way too easy compared to the other heartside roomsto put as the last room for the heartside. Midnight monsoon heartside would have been a much much better room to end the heartside with IMO.
Sea of Soup: 6/10 Super cool concept and aesthetics as well, but I never clicked with the map at all. Heartside: 8/10: flow was much more natural to me than the rooms in the actual map. (or i had become a better player by that point, idk)
Medium Maps
Vertigo: 8.5/10: Absolutely despised the first half of this map. Then somehow my brain clicked and I loved the rest of the map. Only thing is that the black and white aesthetic made it kind of difficult to see whether I had a dash or not. Heartside room: 8.5/10: the last drop in reverse felt kinda inconsistent, probably a skill issue though.
EAT GIRL: 7/10 Super original concept, very well executed. But felt more like playing modified pac-man than celeste in my personal opinion. Heartside: 7/10 very similar to the map itself.
Honeyzip Inc.: 8.5/10 Ziplines are fun! Heartside: 7.5/10 bit on the easy side for a heartside room.
In Filtration: 6.5/10: Found myself a bit annoyed about how long it went on. Vibe is very well executed, but platforming didn't feel as nice and flowy as i was used to from other maps. Puzzles to me were a bit tedious, but that's because I don't like celeste puzzles (outside of routing) too much XD. Heartside: 9/10 Fixed all the issues of non-flowy platforming while keeping the amazing mission impossible vibe.
Supernautica: 9/10: Amazing tutorial for throwables and extended supers. On top of that really cool aesthetic level design. Heartside 9/10: racing the jellyfish was such a fun moment in the heartside.
The Tower: 7.5/10 Solid map, but overall could have been a bit longer and pushed the theme of crumbly blocks and screen continuations a little bit further IMO. Heartside 8/10: solid heartside room.
Construction Conundrum: 6.5/10 Thematically and conceptually amazing. However pacing-wise both rooms and the amount of rooms felt a bit dreadfully long to me. Heartside: 7.5/10: just the right amount of construction.
Hard Maps:
Square the Circle: 8.5/10 Not the biggest fan of the aesthetic (personal taste wise, it's extremely well executed). It was a bit stimulatory overload at times with all the bright neon colours. Gameplay wise: Felt very fun once you got the idea of what to do. One thing is that holding grab in a bubble denies you the kevin momentum boost; this I didn't know and made a lot of places more frustrating than they had to be. IDK they could have maybe made a small disclaimer for this interaction. Heartside: 8.5/10 In-line with the map.
Deep Blue: 9/10 This felt amazing, good amount of checkpoints, so you didn't have to do long stretches. But short, (for my skill level) challenging bursts of platforming that were very fulfilling when figuring them out and pulling them off. Heartside 9/10: Timing the 1st pair of traffic blocks made you sometimes miss the jelly without really knowing what I did wrong. Other than that, very fun.
Temple of a Thousand Skies: 9.5/10 Cool aesthetic, flowy platforming with some supers/hypers/wallbounces, intuitive routing. Felt silky smooth to play. Heartside 10/10: Lots of optional shortcuts to give you the chance to zoom through this room, or take it a bit slower.
Midnight Monsoon: 10/10 Hands down my favourite map of the lobby. Big fan of the theming, mixing jump & dash refillables and throwables made this map so fun to figure out what to do and was extremely fulfilling to execute. Heartside 10/10: Should have been the final room, it really felt like the culmination of all the skills I learned in the intermediate lobby.
Pufferfish Transportation Co.: 7/10 Not the biggest fan of puzzles, hence the low rating. However, well executed map. Heartside: 8/10 Felt much more straightforward than the actual map.
Pointless machines: 6/10 Don't appreciate the concept. For me half the fun is figuring out routing how to traverse a screen. With the dash sequence, you're basically forced to do it that exact way and given the solution from the start. And figuring out where the sequence started was not exactly too hard. The room where 1 (right?) dash closes of the exit, however, was fun, if the map was built around that concept I would have liked it a lot better. Heartside: 7/10: Same issues as above. However, execution felt very cool so +1 bonus points.
And now: On to the advanced gym I go.

Ive been close friends with this girl for over seven years, ever since high school. We met while dating friends of the other, and even after those relationships ended we continued to hang out. Through thick and thin, we've always had each other's backs and I’d always gone out of my way to help her however I could ( including saving her from offing herself multiple time and running away). But then college came around, and things got complicated. We went our separate ways, but we stayed in touch, visiting each other, going on vacations, you name it. Everything was cool until sophomore year when she got into this messed-up abusive relationship. She started acting all distant and weird, and every time I brought it up, she'd brush it off like it was no big deal. I tried to give her space and advice, but it was tough seeing her go through that. When the relationship finally ended, she came running to me for reassurance, and I stupidly gave it to her. But then I found out she'd been lying and even hooking up with one of my close friends. I was crushed, we had made boundaries not to get involved with people close to the other so that it wouldn’t ruin the friendship, but I tried to forgive her because, deep down, I still cared about her.
We stayed in touch, but things just weren't the same. She'd lie and deceive me, all while pretending everything was cool between us. I tried to let it slide, but it kept happening, and I couldn't take it anymore. I finally decided to cut her out of my life, but she showed up at my door, begging me to forgive her. And, I'll admit, I've always had a soft spot for her, so I caved and gave her another chance.
For a while, things seemed good again. We talked more, opened up to each other, and I started to think maybe she'd changed. But then she went and slept with one of my coworkers and matched with a bunch of my friends on Tinder. I was done. I didn't even care at that point; I was focused on moving on with my life.
Then, out of nowhere, she comes back to me after another messed-up relationship, pouring her heart out, sharing memes, the whole nine yards. I let my guard down again, thinking maybe this time would be different. But when I finally confessed my feelings for her, she shut me down, saying she just wanted to be friends. It crushed me, but I tried to play it cool. I said I understood, but I couldn't shake that feeling of betrayal. Months went by, and I kept my distance until I saw her posting stories with some guy at a wedding. That was it for me; I blocked her on everything. Now she's trying to make me out to be the bad guy, and reach out through apps like Venmo and through my family but honestly, I don't even know anymore and I’m tired of dealing with it.

Hi Charlotte, I'm a Fan. I love your work.😊
This happened a while now but I still don't know if what I did was right. Please Let me know what was your thoughts.
I had this friend, let's call her "Julie". She was my bestfriend. We met each other in third grade, but we got separated into different sections in forth grade. I only got close to her again when we were placed in the same section in seventh grade. We became best friends and we had sleep overs even when I was transferred to a private school. Julie's family was poor and she had like 6 other siblings and her parents get paid very little. When she was in need I'd always help her out like giving her money or sharing lunch. We sometimes go to the mall with my family members and they'd ask Julie to pick out what she wants and they'd buys it. She was like part of my family. I started going to school a farther away from home for my High School because going to that school was a great opportunity for me academically and I lived in our university dorm ( If your wondering the university had a elementary and high school department and they were one of the best in our province).They'd drive hours with Julie to surprise me. I was able to be find great friends that am still friends with as an adult from my school. I'm not a very social person, so I didn't have many friends when I was younger. I only had Julie. I realized that my new friends were comfortable to talk to and very supportive.
I hit a rough patch when my parents separated and I needed a friend. I was studying farther away and wanted to see her when I got home on the weekends. She'd always say she can't and there I realized what if I was only being used. After that I started to view her in a whole different light. I hit a rough patch when my parents got separated and I needed a friend. I was studying farther away and wanted to see her when I got home on the weekends. She'd always say she can't and there I realized what if I was only being used. Again in my head she needed some help and I was happy to do so.
She stopped going to school when we were in our last year of middle school I think because her parents can't afford to send her to school so she dropped out and when she got to go again I gave her my extra school supplies and let her borrow some books that I wasn't using anymore. I always thought I was helping her out since my life was more comfortable than hers. I heard from my mom that her mom ( which I don't really know very well) went to our house and asked for money. They didn't have money to buy food. Gracious as my mother is, she put extra groceries we had into a bag and gave Julies mom along with some money. It was fine coz I knew their situation but reality started to hit me on my 18th b-day when I was putting on some make-up and was getting ready to join the others in my party. She saw me putting it on and said that you shouldn't wear make up coz you'll look prettier than me as a joke. Mind you, I'm fat and I've had some experience from others bullying and myself esteem isn't that great. This made me wanna wash it all off and just show up in my pajamas. Also, on multiple occasions I got called by her boyfriend a lesbian and she'd tell me it's coz I looked a little masculine and coz we had sleep overs gjkgkjfsgdiugeiu. For the record, I'm not a lesbian but I am ace though. When she was able to go to school again, I heard news that her new boyfriends family was paying for her schooling and everything including bills, groceries for her family. One of her distant relatives, happens to be my aunt's bestfriend and my godmother. I found out from her that Julie and her mom was taking advantage of another relative who was kind of well off and scamming them so she can get more money.
When my parents separated, I wanted someone to talk to. I was too anxious to unload my feelings to my new friends. I wanted to talk to her. I just wanted someone to listen to. I was there in some of her lowest points in life and I thought she'd understand what I was going through. I really needed a friend and she wasn't available so I just said it's fine and that she might be busy but it kept happening. I finally realized that she was only there for her own benefit and when I needed her she wasn't there. I was so sad then I was angry at her and at myself. I decided I needed to cut her off coz I felt so much pain and if I didn't I was scared that I'll only be used again so I started to block her with no explanation and couple of days after she showed up at our gate. I got angry again coz if I didn't block her she would have never shown up. Told our maid to tell her to leave and not let her in and told my mom not to talk to her. My mom let her in but I didn't see her, also told her to leave. I felt a little guilty that I ended things with her that way but after that I made friends and real ones at that. I started to gain more confidence, wearing things old me wouldn't wear like dresses and skirts and wearing make-up. I also became happier and more open to change. but I still feel some guilt so am I the a--hole?

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this and quite honestly I never really planned to post it online as I felt lile it would be a move seen as to just gain sympathy but now I'm at a loss and thought I'd give it a shot. I apologize if there's some rambling I'm not quite sure of what I'm doing here. Fair warning abuse and some sh will be mentioned.
I am 16f currently almost 17 and have not had a good home or family connection since I was 10. My bio dad (I think hes 36\37?m) was never really around as well as an addict (He claims to be sober though I dont quite believe that). There is also belief of abuse when I was with him though it isn't and most likely will never be confirmed. I do have many memories that I can remember vividly of times I was with him despite being between 6 and 8 at the time. He officially left on my 10th birthday by sending me an email apologizing and I didnt hear from him again for 6 years and its been on and off texting, he has been to jail multiple times throughout the last almost year weve been in contact.
Past that after he left my mother (34f) and step dad (36m. I think) became my only parents. Despite having my stepfather there my whole life I did consider him as a dad but he wasnt my actual dad my mom was my mom. She became my only 'parent' and I clung onto her. Around this time I also had a baby brother (6m now) my mom and step dads kid and a 10f now sister my dads and one of his ex girlfriends daughter. This is kind of important to note that I love my sibling and family and would never purposefully physically hurt them or hurt them in general.
Fast forward to christmas of the year I turned ten, I had sadly fallen into the wormhole that Im sure many others fell into of being groomed by men. Sending things and being taken advantage of. On christmas eve my step father found out and hell broke loose. I can admit my fault now but back then I didnt understand the length of how bad it was what I had done and had been doing, my mother held me that night as I cried and had my first panic attack. This was the beginning of our downfall though.
My mother and step dad had completely lost trust in me (which is fair) but we just couldnt seem to get along. Sure we could act fine and everything but now the cops were in our lives and I ended up moving away from home from this incident and in with my nana, as my reaction was to shut down while my mother yelled and cried trying to speak with me but I refused. My mother then grabbed a bag packed it and told me to get in the car dropping me off in another town at my nanas. This was early January around the beginning of covid I believe.
Me and my mother were low contact and I quite honestly missed her but at the same time I was happy where I was. One day in March I came home from school to see my mother in the house, she was bringing me back to live with her. I can't remember why so suddenly but I did end up moving back and she switched me to a catholic school (we were online because of COVID at this time).
During my time back I began to date my now ex girlfriend but she is now one of my biggest supports as she knows most of this as she witnessed some. Not in person but through video calls or just regilar calls that I dont believe my family were aware of.
My parents put child locks and time locks on my computer, and I wasnt allowed to have a phone (again fair) but with me being the child I was I wanted to socialize so I would play games like Among us or go into chat rooms that my parents would block and I would get in trouble. I rember about a certain one that they got mad at me for using my step dad months later during an argument yelled at me 'That one site you used just got shut down for trafficking' I was around 12 or 13 at this time and wasnt fully understanding of the length and what that meant. I just know his anger scared me.
I wont give the fully backstory but some incidents were as goes:
We came home from a drive one night and I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. I was 13 at this time. My step dad came into the room pissed off and I sat up confused and simple asked 'What?'. He got mad and half yelled 'Don't fcking what me' then he continued to take eveything out of my room. Dumped all my clothes into a pile on the floor an drilled two pieces of wood onto the top and bottom of my closet doors so I could no longer open it as well as changed the door handle so that they could lock me in my room (which they did). During this I was standing in the corner scared and crying and he came got all up in my face and said 'Are you fcking scared now l?' Then proceeded to oush my head back then slap me. Afterwards I was locked in my room with a mattress, blanket, pillows and a pile of my clothing. I believe I was in there for a week though Im not sure. During that time they would open the door and ask if I needed to pee or shower, I always reufsed unless I absolutely did have to go because I just didnt want to move. They would at lunch and dinner bring in a plate with food and a cup or bottle of something to drink. I rarely actually ate it and slowly the food turned into bits of food and saltine crackers. I have now learned that according to my mother my step dad told her that I was being violent and getting all up in his face and that he was scared of me. She has also said that they did this because they were scared I was going to hurt or k*ll myself. Which at this point in time I had never done, attempted or really even thought about. Also, on the first night I dont know if more happened but I woke up in darkness to my step dad laying with me and hugging me as well as apologizing, I was scared and didnt know (and still don't know) what to make of it so I pretended to sleep. After awhile he left.
We were arguing basically everyday, which they would always start and I either wouldnt feed into it or would try to end it which only added fuel to the fire.
Many of these arguments led to me running out of the house and coming back late or not at all.
When I was 14 my school counseler noticed I seemed off I guess and I broke and told her. Then CAS came into my life. Long story short they did nothing and saw nothing wrong (my parents never admitted to anything and ir was a childs word against two adults) while only adding onto the tense atmosphere I called home.
Finally in fall of 2021. I left home for the last time. I love to paint and I was on the phone with my girlfriend at the time when my step dad came in and turned the light on (I had a simple lamp on my desk) he then noticed green paint on my floor. He immediatly got mad and told me to clean it to which I said I would. He left for about 5 minutes and I hadnt cleaned it yet having been in the middle of something when he asked. This started an argument and escalated to him screaming at me then grabbing my arm and pulling me into the hallway. I began to scream back and he was taking my wallet and other things using the excuse 'You didnt buy them. They're not yours' my mother was trying to get us both to stop but it ended with my dad opening and unlocking the front door telling me to leave and the door was open so I did. Cops were called that night and I moved in with my grandmother. I lived with her for about 3 weeks and the whole time my mother argued and tried to manipulate me into coming back.
Me, my mother and grandma had made a deal because I didnt feel safe in the house or comftorable that I would come home every Tuesday and Thursday. I stayed there Tuesday and on Wednesday after school went to a friends. My mother tried to get me home claiming the deal had never been made and called the cops on me. They showed up at my friends house and brought me back to my grandmothers where we explained the deal. I called my friend and her mom and began to apologize and not even 5 minutes into it my papa came into the apartment and screamed at me. My mother had apparently called him and said she never wanted to see him, my grandmother or me again and that my stuff would be on the side of the road if I wanted it.
Wuth everything going on I am sad to say this was my first ever time attempting to take my life that night. I went to psych ward for two weeks and moved in with my nana and papa afterwards.
The relationship with my mother and step dad is beyond strained as they both wont admit of the things that went on and since I got my doagnosises (Borderline personality disorder among other things) my mother has now began to blame my bast actions on it saying things like 'it all makes sense now'. Neither of them will apologize and they expect me to apologize. My relationship with my nana and papa is also strained the only person in my family I get along with is my cousin (19m) and my grandmother (84f).
Since turning 15 I gave struggled greatly with depression, suicidal thoughts and worst of all self harm. I have attempted many times and everytime my family only shows annoyance and disappointment only making me go deeper into this spiral.
Since turning 16 I have been kicked out of my nana and papas 3 times. First because they learned I smoke weed and got mad saying they didnt want someone like that in their house as well as I was just like my dad (my father is a drug addict and quite frankly I am terrified of anything other than weed). Second time they somehow got it into their heads that I was using substances other than weed. Third time was because we were arguing and my papa grabbed me to which I started yelling at him to never do that and he immediatly claimed he didnt do anything. I told him to f himself and my nana told me to get out.
Because of all this I havent had a stable place im years. I ended up moving to British Columbia for 4 months and living with my dead best friends family (rest in peace my love💜) where I got amazing support and do plan to live back there once I am 18. Sadly I moved back in with my nana and papa (thin thin line of me staying for good as the toxicity of this household has only grown since I left those months ago). The night before I moved back I had a breakdown and messaged my mother that I need her among other things. The next day while I was at the airport she responded and we blew up into a fight because she didnt give me time to explain what my plan was. All I had said was that I wasnt sure if I was moving back in with my nana and papa and she told me just dont and to stop using them. This escalated to where she blocked both me and her father. My papa. This was in February.
Since she blocked me I have talked to multiple friends and even just had time to reflect and realize that when I say I want my mom. I really want the mom I thought I had back but shes gone and we cannot seem to reach an impasse. Family is one of the most important things to me and it breaks my heart that I cannot be there for my younger brother. I accepted that I will most likely once I'm 18 offically just cut them off and leave this toxicity that I am in.
My family members always push me to apologize and fix my relationship with my mother and step dad.
Last weei my mother reached out again and seemed fine. We talked for a few days until she said 'Well I've heard a lot about new stuff but not past stuff' to which I asled what she meaned and she said 'An apology'. I just got upset and hung up. I know I do owe some apologies and I have aplogized for things like the past mistakes and some arguments but they want me to apologize for everything, even the things they twisted into being my fault which weren't. I refuse to apologize and they refuse to acknlowedge it. I don't know and can't think of what she wants me to apologize for that she was meaning in that phone call but its most likely something she just wants to pin on me. She refuses to acknowledge or belive that my step father ever hit me claiming that at the time 'I was crazy and she can't be sure'. These are statements and things that I won't forget and will most likely never forgive even if I do get the appropriate apologies.
I feel like I am doing the right thing by staying low contact then just cutting them off when I am 18 at this point. Though I am not sure as my nana and papa and others are making me second guess it through guilt tripping or manipulating me. I am well aware of what they are doing and if I could make myself stop believing them and feeling this way I would but they are my family and I really don't want to lose them, but I think its for the best.
AITA? And if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.

Edit: sorry for poor grammar in title.
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this and quite honestly I never really planned to post it online as I felt lile it would be a move seen as to just gain sympathy but now I'm at a loss and thought I'd give it a shot. I apologize if there's some rambling I'm not quite sure of what I'm doing here. Fair warning abuse and some sh will be mentioned.
I am 16f currently almost 17 and have not had a good home or family connection since I was 10. My bio dad (I think hes 36\37?m) was never really around as well as an addict (He claims to be sober though I dont quite believe that). There is also belief of abuse when I was with him though it isn't and most likely will never be confirmed. I do have many memories that I can remember vividly of times I was with him despite being between 6 and 8 at the time. He officially left on my 10th birthday by sending me an email apologizing and I didnt hear from him again for 6 years and its been on and off texting, he has been to jail multiple times throughout the last almost year weve been in contact.
Past that after he left my mother (34f) and step dad (36m. I think) became my only parents. Despite having my stepfather there my whole life I did consider him as a dad but he wasnt my actual dad my mom was my mom. She became my only 'parent' and I clung onto her. Around this time I also had a baby brother (6m now) my mom and step dads kid and a 10f now sister my dads and one of his ex girlfriends daughter. This is kind of important to note that I love my sibling and family and would never purposefully physically hurt them or hurt them in general.
Fast forward to christmas of the year I turned ten, I had sadly fallen into the wormhole that Im sure many others fell into of being groomed by men. Sending things and being taken advantage of. On christmas eve my step father found out and hell broke loose. I can admit my fault now but back then I didnt understand the length of how bad it was what I had done and had been doing, my mother held me that night as I cried and had my first panic attack. This was the beginning of our downfall though.
My mother and step dad had completely lost trust in me (which is fair) but we just couldnt seem to get along. Sure we could act fine and everything but now the cops were in our lives and I ended up moving away from home from this incident and in with my nana, as my reaction was to shut down while my mother yelled and cried trying to speak with me but I refused. My mother then grabbed a bag packed it and told me to get in the car dropping me off in another town at my nanas. This was early January around the beginning of covid I believe.
Me and my mother were low contact and I quite honestly missed her but at the same time I was happy where I was. One day in March I came home from school to see my mother in the house, she was bringing me back to live with her. I can't remember why so suddenly but I did end up moving back and she switched me to a catholic school (we were online because of COVID at this time).
During my time back I began to date my now ex girlfriend but she is now one of my biggest supports as she knows most of this as she witnessed some. Not in person but through video calls or just regilar calls that I dont believe my family were aware of.
My parents put child locks and time locks on my computer, and I wasnt allowed to have a phone (again fair) but with me being the child I was I wanted to socialize so I would play games like Among us or go into chat rooms that my parents would block and I would get in trouble. I rember about a certain one that they got mad at me for using my step dad months later during an argument yelled at me 'That one site you used just got shut down for trafficking' I was around 12 or 13 at this time and wasnt fully understanding of the length and what that meant. I just know his anger scared me.
I wont give the fully backstory but some incidents were as goes:
We came home from a drive one night and I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. I was 13 at this time. My step dad came into the room pissed off and I sat up confused and simple asked 'What?'. He got mad and half yelled 'Don't fcking what me' then he continued to take eveything out of my room. Dumped all my clothes into a pile on the floor an drilled two pieces of wood onto the top and bottom of my closet doors so I could no longer open it as well as changed the door handle so that they could lock me in my room (which they did). During this I was standing in the corner scared and crying and he came got all up in my face and said 'Are you fcking scared now l?' Then proceeded to oush my head back then slap me. Afterwards I was locked in my room with a mattress, blanket, pillows and a pile of my clothing. I believe I was in there for a week though Im not sure. During that time they would open the door and ask if I needed to pee or shower, I always reufsed unless I absolutely did have to go because I just didnt want to move. They would at lunch and dinner bring in a plate with food and a cup or bottle of something to drink. I rarely actually ate it and slowly the food turned into bits of food and saltine crackers. I have now learned that according to my mother my step dad told her that I was being violent and getting all up in his face and that he was scared of me. She has also said that they did this because they were scared I was going to hurt or k*ll myself. Which at this point in time I had never done, attempted or really even thought about. Also, on the first night I dont know if more happened but I woke up in darkness to my step dad laying with me and hugging me as well as apologizing, I was scared and didnt know (and still don't know) what to make of it so I pretended to sleep. After awhile he left.
We were arguing basically everyday, which they would always start and I either wouldnt feed into it or would try to end it which only added fuel to the fire.
Many of these arguments led to me running out of the house and coming back late or not at all.
When I was 14 my school counseler noticed I seemed off I guess and I broke and told her. Then CAS came into my life. Long story short they did nothing and saw nothing wrong (my parents never admitted to anything and ir was a childs word against two adults) while only adding onto the tense atmosphere I called home.
Finally in fall of 2021. I left home for the last time. I love to paint and I was on the phone with my girlfriend at the time when my step dad came in and turned the light on (I had a simple lamp on my desk) he then noticed green paint on my floor. He immediatly got mad and told me to clean it to which I said I would. He left for about 5 minutes and I hadnt cleaned it yet having been in the middle of something when he asked. This started an argument and escalated to him screaming at me then grabbing my arm and pulling me into the hallway. I began to scream back and he was taking my wallet and other things using the excuse 'You didnt buy them. They're not yours' my mother was trying to get us both to stop but it ended with my dad opening and unlocking the front door telling me to leave and the door was open so I did. Cops were called that night and I moved in with my grandmother. I lived with her for about 3 weeks and the whole time my mother argued and tried to manipulate me into coming back.
Me, my mother and grandma had made a deal because I didnt feel safe in the house or comftorable that I would come home every Tuesday and Thursday. I stayed there Tuesday and on Wednesday after school went to a friends. My mother tried to get me home claiming the deal had never been made and called the cops on me. They showed up at my friends house and brought me back to my grandmothers where we explained the deal. I called my friend and her mom and began to apologize and not even 5 minutes into it my papa came into the apartment and screamed at me. My mother had apparently called him and said she never wanted to see him, my grandmother or me again and that my stuff would be on the side of the road if I wanted it.
Wuth everything going on I am sad to say this was my first ever time attempting to take my life that night. I went to psych ward for two weeks and moved in with my nana and papa afterwards.
The relationship with my mother and step dad is beyond strained as they both wont admit of the things that went on and since I got my doagnosises (Borderline personality disorder among other things) my mother has now began to blame my bast actions on it saying things like 'it all makes sense now'. Neither of them will apologize and they expect me to apologize. My relationship with my nana and papa is also strained the only person in my family I get along with is my cousin (19m) and my grandmother (84f).
Since turning 15 I gave struggled greatly with depression, suicidal thoughts and worst of all self harm. I have attempted many times and everytime my family only shows annoyance and disappointment only making me go deeper into this spiral.
Since turning 16 I have been kicked out of my nana and papas 3 times. First because they learned I smoke weed and got mad saying they didnt want someone like that in their house as well as I was just like my dad (my father is a drug addict and quite frankly I am terrified of anything other than weed). Second time they somehow got it into their heads that I was using substances other than weed. Third time was because we were arguing and my papa grabbed me to which I started yelling at him to never do that and he immediatly claimed he didnt do anything. I told him to f himself and my nana told me to get out.
Because of all this I havent had a stable place im years. I ended up moving to British Columbia for 4 months and living with my dead best friends family (rest in peace my love💜) where I got amazing support and do plan to live back there once I am 18. Sadly I moved back in with my nana and papa (thin thin line of me staying for good as the toxicity of this household has only grown since I left those months ago). The night before I moved back I had a breakdown and messaged my mother that I need her among other things. The next day while I was at the airport she responded and we blew up into a fight because she didnt give me time to explain what my plan was. All I had said was that I wasnt sure if I was moving back in with my nana and papa and she told me just dont and to stop using them. This escalated to where she blocked both me and her father. My papa. This was in February.
Since she blocked me I have talked to multiple friends and even just had time to reflect and realize that when I say I want my mom. I really want the mom I thought I had back but shes gone and we cannot seem to reach an impasse. Family is one of the most important things to me and it breaks my heart that I cannot be there for my younger brother. I accepted that I will most likely once I'm 18 offically just cut them off and leave this toxicity that I am in.
My family members always push me to apologize and fix my relationship with my mother and step dad.
Last weei my mother reached out again and seemed fine. We talked for a few days until she said 'Well I've heard a lot about new stuff but not past stuff' to which I asled what she meaned and she said 'An apology'. I just got upset and hung up. I know I do owe some apologies and I have aplogized for things like the past mistakes and some arguments but they want me to apologize for everything, even the things they twisted into being my fault which weren't. I refuse to apologize and they refuse to acknlowedge it. I don't know and can't think of what she wants me to apologize for that she was meaning in that phone call but its most likely something she just wants to pin on me. She refuses to acknowledge or belive that my step father ever hit me claiming that at the time 'I was crazy and she can't be sure'. These are statements and things that I won't forget and will most likely never forgive even if I do get the appropriate apologies.
I feel like I am doing the right thing by staying low contact then just cutting them off when I am 18 at this point. Though I am not sure as my nana and papa and others are making me second guess it through guilt tripping or manipulating me. I am well aware of what they are doing and if I could make myself stop believing them and feeling this way I would but they are my family and I really don't want to lose them, but I think its for the best.
AITA? And if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

I cut off my bipolar mother because of her latest manic episode, after 10y of supporting her
I (30F) cut off my mother (55F). She is bipolar and currently in a manic episode. I cut off contact and cut her off of the financial support I was offering and have been for the past nearly 10 years.
Trying not to make this post longer than it should be, but IT IS going to be long, and I thank anyone who will read through everything.
Some context: - I grew up in a post-comunist Eastern European country, rather comfortably, except for when my father would gamble away our income (a few tens of thousands of $ every 6 months - rental income) and we would suddenly be poor for a few months until the next rent was paid to us - I went to private school and received a good education. I was also lucky to be away for most of the day so I sometimes avoided being around my parents when they had arguments - my mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 11 years ago, right after I left for college to another country, though her symptoms started way earlier; she also had panic attacks and OCD - Narcissistic husband, 14y older than her - I grew up in an incredibly tense and mostly verbally abusive environment. My father would never hit me but would pick on simptoms of her (undiagnosed) illness and wreak havoc: smash plates, yell and fill the air with rage, grab her, sometimes hit her, often cheat on her (some of his mistresses even lived in the same house as us - it was a 10 bedroom restored 100 y/o house) and even gave her STDs. - I have no sibilings, just half brothers and sisters from my father's side, and only a few years ago learned I had one more and wasn't the youngest one
The whole story is very complicated, but in a nutshell: my mother has always relied on me for emotional support since my father alienated her from the rest of her family. I left for uni and she had a massive mixed episode with schitzofrenic and suixide symptoms and as a result was institutionalized for a few months.
Once I started my paid internship and started earning relatively well, my father moved to - off all places - Las Vegas (with our last liquid 50k) and has been living there ever since. He moved - not before 'making sure' the banks would liquidate all our assets (houses, office buildings, land, art, cars) - due to his excessive gambling. A few years prior, he even gambled away my tuition fee for a Swiss University, so I had to settle for a much much cheaper one in another European country.
My mother has always been a stay at home mom and never worked, so once the banks took everything I stepped up, did not finish university, and continued working abroad and supporting both of us. All the while she was to stick to her meds and try to find a job, regardless how little it paid (she failed miserably).
I worked my way up to Assistant Hotel Manager on cruise ships and was probably 1 year away from becoming Hotel Manager when my mother had another manic episode.
Cut to when I come home for a 2 week holiday to find out a she had been missing from home, our dogs were starving and house full of pee and sh!t. Found her a week later - 60km from where she was living, surrounded by very odd men and I don't even want to know what they were doing to her. Only found her because one of them found me and texted me to ask if she was my mother.
I manage to institutionalize her with the help of the police and ambulance, once I finally got ahold of her. Got her a full STD panel and she was, luckily, fine.
Needless to say, I decided to stay in the country for her. Switched industries, took care of her, lived with her, went through another 2 episodes, but finally managed to stabilize her and help her reintegrate into society as a functioning member 4 years and a half later.
I then moved to a new country. I was working remotely and decided to take the leap again. I had spent far too long in a corrupt and sickening country - taking care of a sick person that could barely be called my mother anymore.
Fast forward another 2 years, during which I visited her almost once every 6-8 weeks, made sure she took her meds, paid rent, utilities, very hefty cleaning services (she never cleans, or barely does, even when she is 'stabilized') all so I could put some distance, work on myself, heal from all the fcuking trauma that both she and my father inflicted on me.
Until her latest manic episode got triggered.
I flew to my home country and arranged for us to meet somewhere. I had been talking to her about going to see someone together because she seemed a little distressed. Morning of - after I land - she doesn't pick up. Calls me 2h later to tell me to meet in front of a church (no address, just very confusing directions). A Tom and Jerry-esque chase ensues throughout the whole city with me running around from police station to another and declaring her as a missing person to get help and get her institutionalized by force again.
Police find her. I arrive to witness her in a very devilishly calm state. They claim they can't have her admitted in the psych ward again, as she seems normal. Mind you, any trained eye could see she wasn't - she was wearing very bothersome make-up, smoking a lot, stuttering, raising her tone at me, she had pretty bad BO and other symtoms I have learned to notice from the way she speaks, dresses and excessive spending. She was telling the police I was after her money (she has nothing, again I pay for all her living costs except food and even send her extra money), and that my s/o (that I had just started dating 2 mo prior and is the kindest partner I have ever had) put me up to it, or that I'm the crazy one.
I got immensely distressed, started crying and shaking to the point that my nose started bleeding. So I left her, and the country the next day. I did not have it in me to fight with an ignorant group of people - the police and ambulance staff - who were all saying she's clearly fine. The police officer in charge was a lady who did not want to forcefully admit her because she was scared my mother would sue. She had me drive to the psych ward, and home to collect documents to prove my mother had been admitted prior, only to deny helping us.
3 months later - now. I blocked my mother after constantly asking her to go for a check-up or even get herself admitted. I will stop paying for her rent and all other costs I was supporting as I have recently resigned and need to look for a new role.
My father is not in touch with her, he pretends the issue is only mine and is living his happily ever after in the US with his Filipina girlfriend. We had been estranged for the past 8 years until I needed to get in touch with him while I was 'chasing' my mother to get the contact of a family member.
No one is helping me, not even my mother's sibilings, not even her own mother - likely due to the communism enrooted in them, that everyone must fend for themselves and the fact that for a long time my father forbade my mother to speak with any of them.
My father keeps telling me 'oh, that's too bad, what a pity, I'll try to help' but doesn't do anything concrete - just sends me selfies of him living his best life, talks to me about the pigeons he feeds or his girlfriend. He's 70, and seems to be losing it too.
I have decided to give up, but as a result am feeling an immense sense of guilt. My mother probably lost her job. Will not pay her rent. Is living illegally as no deed was ever signed, it was just a handshake. I blocked the owner, not before giving him my father's contact and telling him he'd pay henceforth. My mother is also due to move out in June. She was supposed to do so in January, but spent her salary on clothes and jewelry + invested in an online trading scam.
The story is so much more nuanced than this and I am at my wits' end. Everytime something good has happened in my life I had to pay by bearing the cross of my mother. I am exhausted. I met an amazing person last year, he's been incredibly supportive and we're considering marriage, kids and all. How could I start my own family if I'm busy being the mother of my mother? Because my father is an abusive pile of garbage. Because she stayed out of comfort and for my education (also because my father threatened to have her raped and killed if she divorced him). Because neither was educated enough to take action well before the sh!t really hit the fan. All this with zero family or authority support.
What do I do? What would any of you do? And how do I get rid of the guilt?
She will end up on the streets or if she's lucky, in the gutter.
PS: I have been in and out of therapy for the past few years, but stopped a few months ago. I'm mostly doing fine myself except for some emotional eating and the occasional mild depression episode that I've learned to shake myself out from.
TL;DR: I cut my bipolar mother off after 10 yrs of supporting her with no help from estranged father and authorities. I feel guilty, but somewhat relieved. AITA?

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