Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

If someone has a JD, passes the bar, maintains CLE, and is practicing - that's clearly a case when they can say "I'm an attorney!" (of course there are a few states where you can apprentice your way to the bar, so strictly speaking, the JD isn't required)
If someone was censured from the bar temporarily, during that time could they tell their friends "I'm telling you, that contract is worthless, I'm an attorney you idiot!". Could they refer to themselves in any capacity in any legal document used in Court as "an attorney"? Could such a person use the "attorney" moniker for example to add veracity to their own witness statement they are making on a case for which they are merely a fact witness? e.g. "It was a pretty complex situation, but being an attorney it was easier for me to read the dynamics of what I saw when the man was coercing my friend to sign the document."
If someone was admitted to the bar decades ago, never renewed and are not *currently* on the bar, could they hold themselves out to friends as an attorney? e.g. The friend says "I was going to write up this Last Will but it's too damn expensive for a lawyer to do it, so I'm going to order this kit off the internet!" At which point our person with a JD degree says "Well, I'm an attorney, I could help you with that!"
I'm looking for some edge case discussion. Obviously if someone isn't on the bar, they aren't going to be in an office advertising their services as such. But the grey area comes when someone isn't current, or let their bar license lapse for a long time, and being disciplined is probably pretty clear as well - like when Saul Goodman had to take a year timeout.
Pre-edit, I'm going to guess that the term "lawyer" and "attorney" are just about on par, so substitute either if that is appropriate - or educate me otherwise.

Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

To begin with, it is arbitrary. In other words, the age is not chosen based on an empirical and measurable personal quality which relates to the capacity for consent, but rather, it is chosen as a compromise number based largely on political, social, psychological and judicial precedent factors in a legislative process often only marginally related to the actual capabilities of the individuals to which it is applied. This is seen as necessary when such an age must be determined, despite the fact that no two individuals mature at precisely the same rate.
Another important factor is that of jurisdiction. A jurisdiction represents the abstract collection of individuals over whom a certain legal institution has authority. As a direct consequence of the arbitrariness of the age of consent, the actual number varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. An individual who may be capable of legally consenting in one area may, simply by crossing a border, find that his consent is no longer valid.
Basic Physiology/volumes
Total brain volume and Gray Matter volume appears to reach a peak at the start of, or during puberty⁽Cabana T, Jolicoeur P, and Michaud J (1993) Prenatal and postnatal growth and allometry of stature, head circumference, and brain weight in Quebec children. Am. J. Hum. Biol.5:93–99.)^\19]), declining thereafter. White matter, which has a less critical function in cognition, takes until the mid-40s to peak in volume. It is clear that some parts of the brain develop into and beyond early adulthood, while others might regress somewhat. This is a normal process of aging, since brain development and cognitive capacity are highly elastic and dependent upon one's environment.

• Leah H. Somerville. 2016. Searching for Signatures of Brain Maturity: What Are We Searching For? Neuron, 92(6), 1164–1167, doi: 10.1016/j.neuron.2016.10.059

"In the neurodevelopmental literature, a given neural measurement is typically interpreted as mature when it matches (to a sufficient degree) an “adult” reference. [...] However, structural development continues to progress for a surprisingly long time. One especially large study showed that for several brain regions, structural growth curves had not plateaued even by the age of 30, the oldest age in their sample (Tamnes et al., 2010; see Figure 1B). [...] Other work focused on structural brain measures through adulthood show progressive volumetric changes from ages 15–90 that never “level off” and instead changed constantly throughout the adult phase of life (Walhovd et al., 2005). [...] it is unclear whether there is even a steady set-point at all.""Dosenbach et al., 2010 used data-driven classification algorithms to compute an estimated “brain age” of individual subjects 7 to 30 years of age based on widespread intrinsic connectivity patterns within and between brain networks [...] However, these data also illustrate the challenges of applying general patterns of neurodevelopment from group-based to individual inference, as there is substantial variance in brain network connectivity that is unrelated to age. For example, some 8-year-old brains exhibited a greater “maturation index” than some 25 year old brains."

• Giedd, J. et al (1999). "Brain development during childhood and adolescence: a longitudinal MRI study," Nature Neuroscience, 2(10):861-3."Pediatric neuroimaging studies, up to now exclusively cross sectional, identify linear decreases in cortical gray matter and increases in white matter across ages 4 to 20. In this large-scale longitudinal pediatric neuroimaging study, we confirmed linear increases in white matter, but demonstrated nonlinear changes in cortical gray matter, with a preadolescent increase followed by a postadolescent decrease. These changes in cortical gray matter were regionally specific, with developmental curves for the frontal and parietal lobe peaking at about age 12 and for the temporal lobe at about age 16, whereas cortical gray matter continued to increase in the occipital lobe through age 20. The subjects for this study were healthy boys and girls participating in an ongoing longitudinal pediatric brain-MRI project at the Child Psychiatry Branch at the National Institute of Mental Health. [...] This MRI study demonstrates a preadolescent increase in cortical gray matter; this phenomenon was previously obscured, probably by the lack of longitudinal data, as even in an analysis of the 145 cross-section-al data points in our sample, the largest to date, we could not detect nonlinearity in these developmental curves".
  
• Bartzokis, G. et al., (2001). "Age-related changes in frontal and temporal lobe volumes in men: a magnetic resonance imaging study," Arch Gen Psychiatry, Aug; 58(8):774."Methods: Seventy healthy adult men aged 19 to 76 years underwent magnetic resonance imaging. Coronal images focused on the frontal and temporal lobes were acquired using pulse sequences that maximized gray vs white matter contrast. The volumes of total frontal and temporal lobes as well as the gray and white matter subcomponents were evaluated. Results: Age-related linear loss in gray matter volume in both frontal (r = -0.62, P<.001) and temporal (r = -0.48, P<.001) lobes was confirmed. However, the quadratic function best represented the relationship between age and white matter volume in the frontal (P<.001) and temporal (P<.001) lobes. Secondary analyses indicated that white matter volume increased until age 44 years for the frontal lobes and age 47 years for the temporal lobes and then declined. Conclusions: The changes in white matter suggest that the adult brain is in a constant state of change roughly defined as periods of maturation continuing into the fifth decade of life followed by degeneration. Pathological states that interfere with such maturational processes could result in neurodevelopmental arrests in adulthood."
  
• Del Giudice, M, (2014). "Middle Childhood: An Evolutionary-Developmental Synthesis", Child Development Perspectives, Volume 8, Number 4, Pages 193–200.Del Giudice has age 6-8 as the peak for gray matter (see tables). This paper also goes into detail about development in middle-childhood, most importantly the onsent of adrenarche^\20]) between 6-8 years of age, giving rise to sexual differentiation in behavior - including sexual curiosity and attraction. It could be argued that as a developmental milestone, this age is as important, if not more so than the start of puberty, as determined by thelarche or gonardarche."By age 6, the brain has almost reached its maximum size and receives a decreasing share of the body’s glucose after the consumption peak of early childhood (see Figure 1; Giedd & Rapoport, 2010; Kuzawa et al., in press). However, brain development proceeds at a sustained pace, with intensive synaptogenesis in cortical areas (gray matter) and rapid maturation of axonal connections (white matter; Lebel, Walker, Leemans, Phillips, & Beaulieu, 2008). The transition to middle childhood is marked by a simultaneous increase in perceptual abilities (including a transition from local to global visual processing), motor control (including the emergence of adult-like walking), and complex reasoning skills (Bjorklund, 2011; Poirel et al., 2011; Weisner, 1996). The most dramatic changes probably occur in the domain of self-regulation and executive functions: Children become much more capable of inhibiting unwanted behavior, maintaining sustained attention, making and following plans, and so forth (Best, Miller, & Jones, 2009; Weisner, 1996)."
  

Competence

• Johnson SB, Blum RW, Giedd JN. Adolescent maturity and the brain: the promise and pitfalls of neuroscience research in adolescent health policy. Johnson SB, Blum RW, Giedd JN. Adolescent maturity and the brain: the promise and pitfalls of neuroscience research in adolescent health policy. J Adolesc Health. 2009 Sep;45(3):216-21. doi: 10.1016/j.jadohealth.2009.05.016.

"As of yet, however, neuroimaging studies do not allow a chronologic cut-point for behavioral or cognitive maturity at either the individual or population level. The ability to designate an adolescent as “mature” or “immature” neurologically is complicated by the fact that neuroscientific data are continuous and highly variable from person to person; the bounds of “normal” development have not been well delineated.[...] In sum, neuroimaging modalities involve an element of subjectivity, just as behavioral science modalities do. A concern is that high-profile media exposures may leave the mistaken impression that fMRI, in particular, is an infallible mind-reading technique that can be used to establish guilt or innocence, infer “true intentions,” detect lies, or establish competency to drive, vote, or consent to marriage.[...] Although scientists may be reticent to apply their research to policy, in some cases, policy makers are doing it for them.""Ultimately, the goal is to be able to articulate the conditions under which adolescents’ competence, or demonstrated maturity, is most vulnerable and most resilient. Resilience, it seems, is often overlooked in contemporary discussions of adolescent maturity and brain development. Indeed, the focus on pathologic conditions, deficits, reduced capacity, and age-based risks overshadows the enormous opportunity for brain science to illuminate the unique strengths and potentialities of the adolescent brain. So, too, can this information inform policies that help to reinforce and perpetuate opportunities for adolescents to thrive in this stage of development, not just survive."

• Leah H. Somerville. 2016. Searching for Signatures of Brain Maturity: What Are We Searching For? Neuron, 92(6), 1164–1167, doi: 10.1016/j.neuron.2016.10.059

"A key principle that guides determinations about psychological maturity in adolescence and young adulthood is the degree to which contextual factors shape an individual’s behavior. For instance, an adolescent and an adult could achieve an identical level of performance on a cognitive task under certain conditions—say, when free of distraction and when the situation has low emotional arousal. However, if the context is shifted slightly by embedding reward cues in the cognitive task, adolescents’ performance disproportionally shifts compared to adults (e.g., Somerville et al., 2011). [...] A prime example of context-sensitive policy is graduated driving laws. They initially constrain new drivers to highly regulated conditions (e.g., during the day, without peers in the car) and slowly broaden the range of driving contexts as new drivers gain experience.""one consequence of this framework would be the need to abandon the goal of identifying a single age-of-brain maturity. Rather, there would be a suite of maturity points that reflect different neural systems and different associated behaviors. For example, an individual could reach an age of “baseline cognitive maturity”—the capacity to engage in goal-directed behavior under neutral, non-distracted circumstances, substantially earlier than an age of “cognitive-emotional maturity”—the capacity to maintain goal-directed behavior in the face of competing emotional cues."

• Epstein, Robert (2010). "Adultness," Teen 2.0, 148-157."After reviewing the relevant scientific literature, interviewing many adults, and consulting with three other psychologists and two psychiatrists with expertise in adult development issues, we concluded that there are fourteen different skill-sets or "competencies" [love, sex, leadership, problem solving, physical abilities, verbal and math, interpersonal skills, responsibility, managing high-risk behaviors, work, education, personal care, self-management, and citizenship] that distinguish adults from non-adults. [...] For three of the competencies--love, leadership and problem solving--we did find statistically significant differences between the mean scores of teens and adults, with adults outscoring the teens. But the absolute differences were small. [...] On two other scales--work and self-management--the differences between the adult scores and teen scores were marginally significant (at the .05 level), again in the adults' favor, but the absolute differences were less than 4 percent. On the other nine scales, we found no significant differences at all between the adult and teen scores. [...] fifty five of the adults in our sample were college graduates--more than double the rate of college graduates in the United States."
  
• Epstein, Robert (2007). "The Myth of the Teen Brain," Scientific American Mind, April/May, 57-63."Visual acuity, for example, peaks around the time of puberty. "Incidental memory"—the kind of memory that occurs automatically, without any mnemonic effort, peaks at about age 12 and declines through life. [...] In the 1940s pioneering intelligence researchers J. C. Raven and David Wechsler, relying on radically different kinds of intelligence tests, each showed that raw scores on intelligence tests peak between ages 13 and 15 and decline after that throughout life. Although verbal expertise and some forms of judgment can remain strong throughout life, the extraordinary cognitive abilities of teens, and especially their ability to learn new things rapidly, is beyond question. And whereas brain size is not necessarily a good indication of processing ability, it is notable that recent scanning data collected by Eric Courchesne and his colleagues at the University of California, San Diego, show that brain volume peaks at about age 14."
  
• Moshman, David (2011). "Adolescent Rationality and Development: Cognition, Morality, and Identity, Third Edition.
  

(Intro) "Adolescents are qualitatively and categorically distinct from children. There is no empirical support, however, for a state of rationality or maturity common to most adults, rately seen in adolescents. Even young adolescents often show forms and levels of rationality beyond the competence of many adults, and adults of all ages often fall short of rational standards met by many adolescents [...] it is not surprising to find that in most societies for most of human history there was no such thing as adolescence, at least as we understand it (Epstein, 2007; Grotevant, 1998; Hine, 1999).""Postchildhood developmental changes in thinking are not tied to age and do not culminate in a state of maturity. Although it seems likely that many individuals show progress beyond childhood in the quality of their problem solving, decision making, judgment, and planning (Cauffman & Woolard, 2005; Steinberg & Scott, 2003), the deployment and progress of thinking in adolescence and beyond is highly variable, depending on specific interests, activities, and circumstances (Fischer, Stein, & Heikkinen, 2009). No theorist or researcher has ever identified a form or level of thinking routine among adults that is rarely seen in adolescents. Adolescent thinking often develops but not through a fixed sequence and not toward a universal state of maturity [...] It seems almost irresistible for adults to see themselves as having achieved a state of maturity that adolescents (and even younger adults) have not yet reached, but brain research provides no evidence to support the postulation of advanced states of maturity attained by the most or all adults but few adolescents. Many people continue to develop long beyond childhood, and their brains reflect those changes, but beyond age 12, there is no natural and universal state of maturity waiting to be achieved.""Developmental changes beyond age 12 to 14 are much too stable and individualized, it appears to me, for a developmental panel, even if it included brain experts, to succeed in distinguishing age groups on the basis of their age development. Second, there is the reductionist fallacy. Brain data seem more scientific than behavioral data, but they are not, nor do they provide us with ultimate explanations, even if psychology can in principle be reduced to biology, a dubious proposition, we are a very long way from achieving such a reduction. Moshman then published an article in HuffPo, that explains his position.

• Waber, D.P., et al. (2007). "The NIH MRI Study of Normal Brain Development: Performance of a Population Based Sample of Healthy Children Aged 6 to 18 Years on a Neuropsychological Battery," Journal of the International Neuropsychological Society, 13(5), 729-746."Perhaps most intriguing are the age-related trajectories for raw score performance. For most tasks, proficiency improved dramatically between 6 and 10 years of age, leveling off during early adolescence (approximately 10 to 12 years of age), suggesting that for many neurocognitive tasks, children approach adult levels of performance at that age. For a few measures, scores increased linearly throughout the age range. These were tasks that assessed basic information processing, such as Coding, Digit Span, and Spatial Span. Still others were associated with a non-linear component during adolescence. Some showed a flattening of the curve followed by another period of acceleration, suggesting another spurt in mid-adolescence. Verbal learning actually reversed direction with performance declining in later adolescence."
  
• Adler, N.E., & Matthews, K. (1994). "Why do some people get sick and some stay well?," Annual Review of Psychology, 45, 229-259."However, empirical tests show that adolescents are no less rational than adults. Applications of rational models to adolescent decision-making show that adolescents are consistent in their reasoning and behavior after the salient set of beliefs is assessed (Adler et al 1990). Quadrel et al (1993) demonstrated that adolescents are no more biased in their estimates of vulnerability to adverse health outcomes than are their parents."
  
• Weithorn, L. A. & Campbell, S. B. (1982). "The competency of children and adolescents to make informed treatment decisions," Child Development, 53(6), 1589-1598."In general, minors aged fourteen were found to demonstrate a level of competence equivalent to that of adults. [...] The ages of eighteen or twenty-one as the "cutoffs" below which individuals are presumed to be incompetent to make determinations about their own welfare do not reflect the psychological capabilities of most adolescents."
  
• Offer, D. (1987). "In defense of adolescents," Journal of the American Medical Association, 257, 3407-3408. Mike Males describes this study: "Northwestern University psychiatrist Daniel Offer, the nation’s leading researcher on adolescents, studied 30,000 teenagers and adults from the 1960s to the 1990s. He and his colleagues found 85% to 90% of teens held attitudes and risk perceptions similar to that of their parents, were not alienated, did think about the future, were coping well with their lives, and did not display psychological disturbances. "Decision making for adults is no different than decision making among teenagers,” Offer reported in 1987 in the Journal of the American Medical Association."
  
• Offer, D., and Schonert Reichl, K.A. (1992). "Debunking the myths of adolescence: Findings from recent research," Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 31, 1003 1014."[T]he effects of pubertal hormones are neither potent nor pervasive (Brooks-Gunn and Reiter, 1990). [...] Adolescence does not occur in a vacuum and is significantly affected by the sociocultural context in which it occurs. A recent investigation by Enright et al. (1987) illustrates this point. This study was based on the careful reading of 89 articles in the Journal of Genetic Psychology for the past 100 years. The articles were rated for their conceptions about the nature of adolescence. Enright et al. demonstrated ideological bias in approaches to understanding adolescent psychology, specifically in relation to economic conditions. Specifically, in times of economic depression, theories emerged in the literature that portrayed adolescents as "immature, psychologically unstable, and in need of prolonged participation in the education system" (p. 553). In contrast, during wartime, the psychological competence of adolescents was accentuated. The authors point out, "The field of adolescent psychology is not free from the societal influences that impinge upon legislators, educators, and parents in shaping American adolescents" (p. 554)."
  
• Quadrel, M. J., Fischhoff, B., & Davis, W. (1993). "Adolescent (in)vulnerability," American Psychologist, 48, 102-116."Three groups of subjects were asked to judge the probability that they and several target others (a friend, an acquaintance, a parent, a child) would experience various risks. Subjects were middle-class adults, their teenage children, and high-risk adolescents from treatment homes. All three groups saw themselves as facing somewhat less risk than the target others. However, this perception of relative invulnerability was no more pronounced for adolescents than for adults. Indeed, the parents were viewed as less vulnerable than their teenage children by both the adults and those teens. These results are consistent with others showing small differences in the cognitive decision-making processes of adolescents and adults. Underestimating teens' competence can mean misdiagnosing the sources of their risk behaviors, denying them deserved freedoms, and failing to provide needed assistance."
  
• Hershovitz, S. (2022). "Why Kids Make the Best Philosophers," The Atlantic."According to Piaget, Sarah should have been in the preoperational stage of development, so called because kids in it can’t yet use logic. But Sarah’s logic was exquisite—far more compelling than the cosmological argument. Whatever you make of an infinite regress of causes, it’s hard to imagine an infinite regress of cats. Matthews decided to study kids and their capacity for philosophical thought, introducing many people to the idea that kids are serious thinkers. Over decades of conversations with children, he found that “spontaneous excursions into philosophy” were common from the ages of 3 to 7. And he was struck by the subtle ways in which kids reasoned, as well as the frequency with which they surfaced philosophical questions. [...] Developmental psychologists are catching on to kids’ capabilities. Nowadays, most of them reject the idea that kids’ minds improve as they age. In The Philosophical Baby, Alison Gopnik writes, “Children aren’t just defective adults, primitive grownups gradually attaining our perfection and complexity.” Their minds are different, but “equally complex and powerful.” Child development, she says, is “more like a metamorphosis, like caterpillars becoming butterflies, than like simple growth—though it may seem that children are the vibrant, wandering butterflies who transform into caterpillars inching along the grown-up path.”."
  
• Siegel, D. J. (2014). "Pruning, Myelination, and the Remodeling Adolescent Brain," Psychology Today.Editor: Dr Siegel appears to believe in some of the myths surrounding the adolescent brain. He points to Synaptic Pruning, which has been suggested as one explanation for the fall in gray matter during the teen years, but his inference is not of much help to ageists who seek to withhold responsibilities from young people: "The classic “use it or lose it” principle applies to adolescence—those circuits that are actively engaged may remain, those underutilized may be subject to systematic destruction. And so for an adolescent, this means that if you want to learn a foreign language well, play a musical instrument, or be proficient at a sport, engaging in those activities before and during adolescence would be a good idea. We move from open potential in childhood to specialization during and following adolescence."
  

Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

Stockholm 1 July 2026
Michael is standing in his living room nervously fingering the cover of the Blu-Ray film in his hand. Michael knows that his staff at the group home have not approved of him watching this film but his curiosity has been piqued since a work friend talked about the movie some days ago and Michael has managed to buy this film and one of its sequels without the staff knowing.
Michael is 45 years old, but he does not live in an ordinary apartment, but rather a special accommodation for residents with various mental problems. Michael has a mild mental disorder and his parents know that he is a psychopath but they havent about it with Michael yet. With the help of his staff at the accommodation, Michael is able to live a normal life. The accommodation is located in Zinkensdamm and it is a quiet area and Michael is comfortable here.
However, Michael has a special feature that requires the staff to watch every movie that Michael wants to see and also approve it. Michael has a knack for making things that happen in movies real. So if a volcano erupts in a movie, Michael can wish for it to happen in real life and it does. This trait can make Michael very dangerous to the public.
Michael has become increasingly interested in violence and this has worried the staff for a long time. Right now, Michael is only allowed to watch light comedies because they are afraid that Michael will wish for violent things to happen. Things that can harm the staff and other people.
The film that Michael holds in his hand is far from a light comedy. It's a sci-fi/horror movie and it's called Alien. Michael is 45 years old and was young when this movie came out but his parents didn't let him watch it because he could already make things that happened in movies become real and the parents were terrified that an Alien monster would suddenly appear in their villa . Michael was bullied at school and certainly would not have hesitated to let an Alien monster attack the bullies. But if he created a real Alien monster, it would have had an impact on the environment and completely innocent people could have been killed by the Alien monster.
Michael takes the Blu-Ray disc out of the case and puts it in his Blu-Ray player and is just about to press play when he realizes that maybe he should tell the staff that he's going to watch a TV show and definitely doesn't want to be disturbed during the course of the film. The film is about two hours long so he thinks two hours of free time without the staff is appropriate. Michael looks at the TV magazine and sees that the Simpsons and another show he usually watches are on during the time he intended to watch the movie. The staff will not suspect anything.
Michael walks out of his apartment and into the hallway of the residence and goes straight to the staff office. He knocks lightly on their door and they turn and open the door to greet Michael. Michael doesn't waste time telling them what he wants, but says straight away what it's all about.

• I intend to watch TV for about two hours and do not want to be disturbed. I'm going to watch the Simpsons and the latest episode of Reneé's bridge. I can eat after watching TV.
  
• It will be absolutely excellent.
  

Michael nods and goes into his apartment and just to be safe, he locks his front door. Michael turns on his TV and presses Play on his Blu-Ray player and the movie starts. Michael lowers the volume on his TV so that the staff will not hear what he is watching. Michael thinks that the beginning of the film is boring and that too few things happen. Once the spaceship lands on the planet, more things happen and Michael finds it more interesting.
Michael jumps high as the facehugger jumps out of the egg one of the characters has found. Michael thinks the facehugger looks really cool and then when it turns out to be bleeding acid and threatens to destroy the ship, the tension increases. Michael memorizes what the facehugger looks like and he becomes fascinated by the creature. A creature like this could have been dangerous on Earth if it had existed.
Michael thinks it's incredibly cool when the chestbuster explodes from the chest of the character the facehugger landed on. Michael thinks the birth of the creature is really brutal but also very cool. It's clear that the facehugger planted something in the character's stomach and it was then born in an explosive fashion. Michael knows that only women give birth but in this movie a creature is born from a man. Michael also memorizes what the chestbuster looks like.
Michael thinks that the adult Alien creature that is seen later in the film is incredibly cool and he thinks that he would like a creature like this to exist for real and it is close that he several times wishes that the creature exists for real during the movie but he also knows that he will be very tired after making the wish so he decides to wait until the evening. Michael will also meet his contact person in the afternoon and they will have coffee together. Michael absolutely does not want to miss that meeting.
When Michael has finished watching the film, he hides it behind some other films on the bookshelf so that the staff will not find it. Michael thinks he can watch the other movie once the staff has helped him cook. In order for the food to be ready as quickly as possible, Michael chooses to fetch a member of staff from the staff room. Michael would like Krister to help him with the food and asks him to come with him to the apartment.
Krister comes along to Michael's apartment and looks at the grocery list that Michael has written together with his staff. Today it says meatballs and macaroni and Krister takes the meatballs out of the fridge and starts frying them. Michael starts a pot of water and waits for the water to start boiling. When the water boils, he will pour in the macaroni. As Michael stands waiting for the water to boil, he stands thinking about this fantastical creature he has seen today.
When Michael thinks of the adult Alien monster and its banana-shaped head, the cock stands up and becomes rock hard. It had been a long time since Michael felt this way. If he could, he would very much like to be this monster and terrify every single person who has been stupid and mean to him. Revenge had been sweet when he had bared his inner teeth and torn apart every human who had been mean to him.
Michael stands and thinks about whether the Alien monster would be able to live on Earth but then he remembers that it has never been a problem when he has wished for something and it shouldn't be a problem if he wants the Alien monster to come here to the earth. Michael also wonders who laid the eggs that the character in the film finds. There were a lot of eggs. Michael is so deep in his thoughts that he doesn't hear Krister talking to him. Michael focuses on Krister.

• Sorry, I didn't hear what you said. Can you say it again?
  
• I was wondering if it is not today that you are going to meet your contact person, Sven?
  
• Yes, I will do that. We will meet at 5 pm and have coffee at Lars café.
  
• Do you want to eat some cooked food before you meet?
  
• I heat a Billy's pizza in the microwave before we meet. I'm going to watch TV after I eat.
  
• Okay, good. Then I know your plans. By the way, the water is boiling now.
  

Michael turns to the stove and holds the macaroni in the pan. They should cook for about five minutes. The meatballs are ready-cooked and Krister lowers the heat so that they just stay warm while the macaroni finishes cooking. Michael wants to think about the Alien monster again but forces himself to think about other things. Michael knows that Krister has recently met a new girl and to seem curious about Krister's life, Michael starts asking questions about the girl.

• This new girl you've met, is she pretty?

Krister is immediately embarrassed by the question and begins to blush.

• You could say that. She is...perfect in every way.
  
• Mmm. Apparently enough to make you embarrassed.
  

Krister blushes even more. His face is almost entirely red.

• That thing about love can be..complicated.
  
• I believe you. I have never liked someone so much that I would have wanted to live together, but on the other hand, I have my disability and was never allowed to go out much when I was a child. My parents overprotected me from everything, except the bullies at school.
  

Krister nods silently. He knows Michael's history and sometimes he can feel sorry for Michael. Michael's parents probably just wanted Michael to grow up and be like everyone else, but it hasn't happened that way. It is only in recent years that Michael's parents have started to let him go, but on the other hand, they have been retired for many years and may not be able to deal with all the funny things that happen around Michael. Very strange things have happened both at the parents' house but also at the accommodation.
Krister understands how Michael's parents think but also how Michael himself thinks and it is far from always the same. Michael is no longer a child but an adult and should be allowed to show that he can take some responsibility for what he does but the parents have not trusted him enough until that dramatic fire happened. Michael saved his parents from being burned inside and since then they have changed their attitude towards him and given him more freedom. Michael has promised and sworn that he had nothing to do with the fire and Krister believes him. The fire was caused by a simple electrical fault and possibly carelessness on the father's part.
When the macaroni has finished cooking, Michael drains the water and puts them and the meatballs on his plate. Krister washes the frying pan he used to fry the meatballs and then leaves Michael alone.
Michael is so curious about the second movie that he takes the dinner plate into the living room and turns his TV and Blu-Ray player back on and puts the second movie into the player. It's Aliens and Michael sees that there are two versions of the movie and he chooses to see the theatrical version because it's shorter. Michael sits down on the couch and starts watching the movie while eating his food. It is very unusual for Michael to sit on the sofa and eat his food, but today he changes his regular routine. It is very unusual for Michael to change any of his routines.
Michael finds the film somewhat boring at the beginning and skips a few scenes where the characters talk to each other. Michael wants to see more of the monsters because he thinks they are so cool.
When the marines land on the planet with the monsters, the film becomes interesting and Michael tensely follows what is happening on the flat screen. Michael had a brother who liked Rambo in the 1980s and even though Michael has not seen Rambo, he still thinks that the marines are reminiscent of Rambo and he thinks that his brother would have liked this movie if he was still alive.
But Michael's brother is no longer alive. He died in a terrible car accident in 1988 and Michael still misses him. If the brother had been allowed to live, he might have beaten the bullies who beat Michael. Michael still remembers his bullies and he knows that the worst of them lives in the area and Michael has chosen not to be near the villa where the bully lives.
Tensions rise as the Marines move through the dank corridors of the film, using a motion detector. Michael jumps high on the couch as a little girl runs past in front of the marines. It is so unexpected that it should be a little girl. Michael thinks this movie is better than the first one. There is so much more going on in this movie than the first.
A little later in the film, the marines find lots of people sitting in some kind of cocoons and a chestbuster explodes from a woman's stomach. It looks more brutal than in the first movie and Michael thinks the creature exploding from the chest/belly looks a little different than the one in the first movie. The marines set fire to the creature and soon adult creatures start moving everywhere killing the marines. Even the adult creatures look a bit different compared to the one in the first movie and Michael likes their appearance and memorizes their appearance quite accurately. It makes it easier for him to wish they exist if he can describe them well.
Aliens are everywhere and Michael thinks they are the absolute coolest thing in the whole movie. Michael also thinks that some of the characters are cool and it is especially Hicks and Vasquesh who are the coolest of all but in different ways. Hicks complains and jokes about everything while Vasquesh is like a female Rambo and has a lot of tough lines. Michael would have been happy to spend an afternoon with these two characters if they had existed in real life. Michael finds the girl Ripley finds extremely annoying because she screams so much and is generally annoying. But the scene where they are locked in a lab with a facehugger is very tense.
The little girl is picked up by an alien and when Ripley comes to pick her up, Michael finds it exciting even though he still finds the girl annoying. But then Ripley sees the great Alien Queen and Michael soon falls in love with the Alien Queen when she appears on the flat screen. She is absolute perfection. He is egged on by her huge ovipositor but also her huge crowned head. Michael carefully memorizes what the Alien queen looks like and he drools involuntarily.
Michael decides that he will wish that the Alien Queen exists in reality later in the evening, but she is so incredibly large and Michael begins to think about where she had would be placed. The sports field in Zinkensdamm is large, but the question is whether the Alien queen would fit in there. Also, the people nearby would see her and possibly kill the queen.
It is better if she is in a place that is not easily accessible but that Michael can still visit. Michael feels that he wants to meet the Alien Queen in person but not be harmed by her. Michael decides to wish that he can control the Alien Queen or that she will trust him.
Michael also realizes when he watches the movie that the Alien queen has lots of guards or warriors in her hive, just like the bees have. Wherever they are supposed to be, it still has to be such a large space that both the Alien queen and several warriors can fit.
Michael will think that his contact person Sven, deals with urban exploration and may know of some big place where an Alien queen can fit. Michael decides to ask Sven when they meet later today but thinks about how to ask the question. Sven must not suspect anything because then there is the risk of him talking to Michael's staff and he does not want that to happen. Michael also decides not to mention that he has seen these two films. Sven doesn't need to know about that.
Michael gets upset when Ripley starts burning up the Alien Queen's eggs. The very area where the Alien Queen is is going to explode soon anyway and Michael thinks it's unnecessary to sabotage the Alien Queen's egg. Ripley and the girl are picked up by the andriod and everything is calm again, but the Alien queen has apparently come with the ship and there will be another fight between the Alien queen and Ripley. But good triumphs over evil and the Alien Queen floats around in space and dies and all is peace and joy. Michael doesn't bother to watch the credits, but turns the movie off when it's finished. Michael hides the film behind some other films on the bookshelf.
Michael goes out into the corridor and asks a member of staff to collect the money that Michael will have with him when he meets Sven. The staff unlocks the cash register and takes out 100 kroner and gives it to Michael. Everyone who lives at the accommodation receives help from the staff when they need their money. Michael goes into the kitchen and chooses to eat three sandwiches instead of heating up a Billy's Pizza.
When Michael has finished eating, he puts on other clothes and leaves his apartment and says goodbye to the staff and goes down to the bottom floor and stands outside the apartment building and waits for Sven to arrive.
Sven is on time as usual and Michael gets into Sven's car and Sven drives towards the cafe they are going to visit. Sven asks how Michael's day has been and he replies that he mostly watched TV and that it was nice. Sven has also had a good day. He has wallpapered several new apartments and even managed to run on his treadmill for about an hour. Michael has run on Sven's treadmill once, but he found it boring after a while.
Sven parks right outside Lars' cafe and the two go into the cafe and decide what to eat and drink. Michael takes a cinnamon roll as usual, but Sven chooses a vanilla pastry today. As usual, Michael takes a cup of tea with apple flavor while Sven takes a cup of coffee. Michael and Sven sit down at the same table they usually sit at. There is a large window right next to the table and Michael likes to watch all the people moving around outside the cafe. He sometimes wonders where they are going and what they have done during the day.
Michael and Sven usually talk about different things when they have coffee, but today Michael decides the conversation and he immediately starts asking Sven about a lot of things.

• Sven, do you know if there is any really super big place in Stockholm that is not well known?
  
• It depends on how big you mean. The biggest place is probably the newly built arena, but it is already well known.
  
• I'm probably thinking of something even bigger and which is not well known.
  
• There probably isn't, except...
  

Sven falls silent and looks thoughtfully at Michael. Why does he want to know this? Michael has never been interested in places in general and Sven doesn't understand why it has to be a big place. Michael is stubborn and wants to know what Sven means.

• Except, what? Please tell me. I'm curious.

Sven knows that there is a place that is enormous and that few people know about, but he wonders why Michael is so curious about this. But Sven decides to answer the question.

• This place is not accessible to the public but there is a giant underground tunnel under a very large part of the city. It starts roughly at Mariatorget and stretches all the way to Danderyd if I remember correctly.
  
• It is therefore several kilometers long. How high do you think the ceiling is there?
  
• Rather, it is several miles long. I don't know how high the ceiling is. I have never visited the tunnel but I know that it is possible to enter it from the T-Centralen and also the Brunkebergstunnel, but in that case a key is of course needed because it is locked at the entrances to the tunnel. The entrance which is at the T-Centralen is near a track, so you are not allowed to go there.
  
• But how do you know it exists if you haven't visited it?
  
• Most people who live in Stockholm and deal with urban exploration know that it exists, but very few have been there. The opening at Mariatorget has been open before but is now locked with large barriers. You have probably seen the barriers and the large fence when you have walked past Mariatorget.
  

When Michael thinks about it, he understands what Sven means. He has walked past that place many times and have never thought about why there are such large bars by the large fence.

• It is a high fence and the bars are very high up. It must be at least 5-6 meters at the highest at the fence. Could this mean that it is as high in ceiling height at the beginning of the tunnel?
  
• I have no idea. As I said, I have never been in the tunnel. Why do you want to know how high the ceiling is when you can't get in there? I do not really understand.
  
• Ah you know, we who have certain disorders sometimes want to know things that are not really that important but are still interesting. Why were the entrances locked?
  
• You've never been interested in this kind of thing before, but okay, I see what you mean. The entrance was locked because there were so many loiterers occupying the tunnel and selling drugs and other things. I think there was also some safety risk regarding the ventilation. Maybe it wasn't well ventilated enough for people to run around down there. The police probably had no complete control of who was moving down there because the tunnel is so extremely long.
  
• Hmm. It sounds logical when you explain it. If the Tunnel were to open one day, would you like to go down and investigate it?
  
• Of course it would have been fun, but I don't think it will ever be opened again. There are stricter rules on security now than there were when it was open.
  

Michael sits quietly and thinks. He has decided that the Alien queen will definitely live in the tunnel that Sven has told about and he will consider that the size may not be a problem. Michael can add to his wish that the ceiling in the tunnel where the Alien queen will sit and lay all her eggs should be high enough. The other adult creatures protecting the queen will fit without any problems even if the ceiling of the tunnel is 2 meters high but probably at least 3 meters high. That's how high the ceiling is on the subway anyway.
Sven notices that MIchael is sitting thinking about something and he becomes curious as to what it is. Michael wasn't usually this thoughtful and he hasn't said a single word in a while and it's not usual either. Michael usually talks almost all the time while they meet, but not right now.

• Michael. Is there anything in particular that you are considering regarding this tunnel?
  
• Well, it was more of a general question. We were talking about hidden places at work the other day and also how big they are.
  
• Then I understand. Yes, then you can excel and tell them about this tunnel.
  

Michael starts to giggle when he realizes that Sven is right. He didn't have a thought about that. Michael likes to be able to brag and tell others about what he knows and this is typically the kind of thing he wouldn't have hesitated to tell about. Unless he wants to keep it a secret as long as the Alien Queen isn't there. Michael can't help but think how his workmates would have reacted if they had entered the tunnel and met the Alien Queen from Aliens. Maybe he'll show her off to his best friends once she's there.
The tea in Michael's cup has started to cool and he has only drunk less than half the cup. It's not normal either. Michael's teacup is usually empty first but not today. Sven wonders if something has happened because Michael is quieter than usual and also seems to be sitting thinking about something.

• How is it at your accommodation? Are you still happy with the staff?
  
• Yes, this accommodation is the very best since I moved away from home. You know that I have lived in a few different accommodations.
  
• I know about it. After all, we have met for a total of 20 years, so I know what it has been like. The accommodation you were staying at when we first started meeting was disastrous.
  
• Yes, my God. The staff were even weirder than I was. It was also haunted there, but no one believed it.
  

Michael can't help but laugh when he remembers how crazy and crazy everything was at that residence. Michael is absolutely sure that the apartment was actually haunted because so many strange things happened and Sven felt uncomfortably at ease a few times when he visited Michael in the apartment he lived in.

• I also think it was haunted there. For once, I also believed in the paranormal when I was inside your apartment. There was seriously something really crazy there.
  
• The only thing I don't like is that the staff have to approve everything I look at. It should be time to let me watch what I want. I can take the consequences of what I do because I'm an adult. They cannot protect me from seeing bad things in all my life. The violence in the news stories is more frightening than what happens in movies because it happens in real life.
  
• It's probably your parents who wanted you to only see things that the staff have approved and that it's about your.. unique ability.
  
• But my parents are no longer as active and keep an eye on me, so they should be able to relax the rules.
  
• Maybe they will do that eventually. The fact that your parents have let go of you a little is perhaps the start of something new, but they may want you to get used to times with more freedom. If they let go of the barriers all at once, it might be a problem for you to make sensible choices.
  
• Sven, a question. If there was someone or something from a movie that you wished existed in real life, what would it be?
  
• Wow, that was really a difficult question. I'll probably have to think about that before I can give you a good answer.
  
• It's perfectly fine. I'm just curious what you had chosen.
  
• I can understand that considering your ability.
  
• But it was a long time ago that I wished that something from a film would become reality. Life doesn't get more exciting than you make it out to be.
  
• Mmm. Am I the only one who thinks the conversation has gotten a little deeper and more serious? Is it an adult Michael that I suddenly see in front of me?
  
• I think maybe more than I did before. I'm 45 years old, so I'm definitely an adult, for my age anyway.
  
• Huh. It's so true.
  

Michael finishes his tea and looks out the window, pointing at the people moving around all the time.

• Did you knew? I always choose this table because I think it's fun to look out at all the people moving everywhere. Where have they been and where are they going? Have they had a good or bad day? Who are they?
  
• Wow. I had no idea you cared about such things. Don't misunderstand what I mean but I got the impression that you mostly care about what concerns you but I may be wrong.
  
• Of course, I care most about myself, I guess everyone does. But I think it's fun to think about who the people are even if I'll never meet them.
  
• Mmm. There are always people on the move here in Stockholm. In a smaller town, there would not have been as many people in motion during the day.
  
• Many are also terribly stressed. It is so important to catch the first subway train even if a new one arrives after a few minutes.
  
• Do you usually never stress when you take the subway to work?
  
• No, never ever. If the train leaves, I wait for the next one.
  

Sven shakes his head. He is aware that he usually rushes to catch the first train home on the few days he does not use the car.

• Michael, you are a fascinating person. We have met for 20 years and just when i think i know you, you show a new side of yourself. I think it's incredibly interesting.
  
• You have also shown new sides over the years. You can almost say that we have helped each other develop. The biggest difference between us is that I have more routines than you do, but that's because I feel safer with them, because of my disability.
  

Sven nods and smiles. Michael is absolutely right in what he says. Sven looks at his watch and discovers that they have been sitting in the cafe for over an hour. The cafe won't close until 9 p.m. and Sven is not in a hurry to get home, so it doesn't matter that they've been sitting longer than usual. Sven is just so surprised that Michael hasn't gotten restless even though they've been here for an hour. Sven drinks the very last coffee and it's cold but it doesn't matter.
Sven and Michael look at each other and say exactly the same thing at the same time.

• Shall we move on?

Both Michael and Sven start to laugh when they realize that they asked the question at the same time. Sven nods towards Michael

• I'm ready if you're ready too
  
• I am. The cinnamon roll was magically good.
  
• My vanilla pastry was also good. Simply a nice coffee.
  

Michael and Sven leave the cafe and Sven drives Michael home to the accommodation. The two sit quietly in the car for a while, but then Sven starts talking to Michael.

• Next week will be tough for me so we have to meet in exactly one week. I know I promised we should meet on Tuesdays but it has to be a Thursday next week too.
  
• It does not matter. I'm free next Thursday anyway so it works out fine.
  
• What did you think we would do?
  
• Hmm. Go to Skansen and Gröna Lund or just Gröna Lund.
  
• Gröna Lund sounds nice. We decide to visit it.
  
• Perfect. See you next week
  
• We'll do that.
  

Michael gets out of Sven's car and goes up to the fourth floor of the apartment building where the accommodation is. Michael feels very happy with the day and he happily greets the staff as he passes by their office. Michael thinks he can account for the money immediately. The staff won't be entering his apartment again during the evening and Michael feels that's nice because he's been thinking of watching the Alien Queen again when he's alone
Krister goes with him to Michael's apartment again and writes down the receipt from the cafe and calculates so that it matches the cash register. Every penny counts and Krister puts the safe into the large wooden cupboard and locks it carefully. Krister looks at Michael.

• What are you doing tonight? Max will offer buns later because he will quit as staff.
  
• When are buns served?
  
• Hmm. Approximately 7:00 p.m. So in an hour.
  
• I'd like to eat another bun today, so I'll come at that time. I was going to watch TV later. It is a repeat of "Masked Singer Sweden" among other things.
  
• Have you guessed who is behind the masks yet?
  
• Nah. Don't have a clue. But it's fun to watch.
  
• Mmm okay. But then I'll see you in an hour.
  

Krister walks out of Michael's apartment and Michael takes the opportunity to make his bed. Michael didn't bother to make the bed this morning because he was off and didn't care much about it. In addition, he would watch the newly purchased films.
Michael goes out into the living room and checks to make sure the films are still there and they are. The staff doesn't tend to rummage through Michael's things, but he still wants to check just in case. Someone at the store may have gossiped about what MIchael bought although it is not very likely but Michael knows that a classmate works at the store where he bought the movies and the classmate knows that MIchael's parents had never approved of Michael watching them.
Michael fetches the dinner plate and washes it and the pan he cooked the macaroni in. Michael then goes to the bedroom and puts away clothes that need to be washed and hangs up clothes that he intends to use again before he washes them. The hour goes by quickly and when it's 7pm Michael leaves his apartment and goes out to the common kitchen at the accommodation and most of the other people who live at the accommodation are already there and they are eating buns and talking to each other.
When it's almost 8 p.m., Michael goes back to his apartment and locks his front door. Michael goes to bed for a little while. He will start the film at 10 pm because the night staff go to bed then. Then Michael is completely sure that he will not be disturbed by the staff. Michael is tired and it doesn't take long before he falls asleep and when he wakes up again and looks at the clock, it's 23.10.
Michael immediately gets out of bed and into the living room and switches on his TV and Blu-Ray player. Michael grab the Aliens movie and puts it in the Blu-Ray player and skips through the chapters of the movie until he gets to when the Alien queen is in her hive.
Michael presses freeze when the entire Alien queen appears in the picture and he walks up and pats the picture of the queen as if she were in front of him. Michael fantasizes about what the Alien Queen's skin and bones feel like. Is it hot or cold? Is it soft or hard? It looks hard but it's not sure if it feels hard.
The alien queen's drool then. How does it feel? Is it hot or cold? Is it tough or liquid? What does the Alien Queen's drool smell like? Michael can see that it is transparent and it appears to be tough but he is not sure that it is. Details like this are important to Michael. An ordinary person had never thought about the properties of the drool or how the Alien Queen's skin and bones feel. Most people would have avoided the Alien Queen but not Michael. He has already decided that she will be in our real world and he already knows where she will live. Michael looks at the still image of the Alien queen and feels that now is the time to make the wish.
Michael concentrates and puts himself into a deep trance. The whites of his eyes are turned upwards and he really sees nothing but a giant image of the Alien Queen. He can twist and turn the picture and see her from as many different angles as he wants. Michael pushes himself against the giant image of the Alien Queen and begins to speak in a strange language.

• Alien Queen ousa bajo deffi natti poldatos dosta aveviii kuavava rattje ovakos despinere. Alien Queen uta pada maka hosa feta kofa heiiia. Alien Queen hoka ommi noni kvak jasi plersasi

Michael has now wished that the Alien queen should be in our reality and he has also decided where she should be and that he himself should be able to meet her up close without being killed. He also intends to pet her, but he says nothing about that in his wish because it is not necessary.
Michael falls silent and his eyes return to normal. Michael is drenched in sweat but he also has to wish that the Alien Queen's soldiers are already there protecting her. Michael also has to decide how big the space should be where the Alien Queen will be. Michael wishes that the chestbusters that explode from the people's stomachs will grow up and become adult Aliens very quickly. They have to eat two people before they start to grow and become adults. Michael wishes the entrance to the underworld is open and the bars are gone.
Michael looks for a scene where the soldiers in the Alien queen's hive are clearly visible and so he makes it a still image. Michael stands as close to the picture as he can. He wants the monsters to look exactly like in the movie.
Michael goes into a deep trance again and starts talking in the strange language again. This time he doesn't talk as much and when he's done Michael feels very tired and wants to go to bed but he takes the movie out of the Blu-Ray player and puts the movie behind some other movies in the bookcase and turns off his TV.
Michael feels that his throat is parched and he drinks two glasses of cold water before going to his bedroom and goes straight to bed and falls asleep in just a few seconds.
The Alien Queen has not yet begun to be created in our world. It will take almost a week for her to become real and start laying her eggs. It will take enormous amounts of energy to make it all real and most of that energy will be taken from Michael. Michael won't feel well for almost a whole week but he doesn't know that. This wish is the most advanced that he has made so far.
Disclaimer: Facehugger, Chestbuster, Alien, Alien Warriors, Alien Queen Belongs to Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

Extremely long post, beware….
Applying for law school in 2 years.
Here are the numbers:

1. Prestigious Canadian university.
2. cGPA is a 78% - (according to LSAC’s conversion table for my specific school, that’s a 3.33).
3. Major average: 85% (4.0 according to LSAC).
4. LSAT goal: 17high (diagnostics so far at 165, giving test in probably late 2025).

Reasons for low cGPA:

1. Econ student for first 2/5 years of the degree (co-op program hence the length), couldn’t do stats for shit so I failed three courses. Switched to Legal Studies in third year, mix of 80s and 90s. I also earned term distinctions from 2022-2024 (last 2 years of degree).
   
2. Bad family conditions.
   

Yes, going to write an addendum but can I write about the conditions at home? Such as abusive dad etc, Covid, being generally horrible at math didn’t help (please don’t pity me and yes I’m fine).
I’m also studying math on my own time to improve my strengths.
Here are my softs:

• President of faculty society, board member for undergraduate student government.
• collaborated with senior faculty on re-writing policy for support for those affected by sexual assault on campus.
• 2 years work experience such as internships at prestigious bank, insurance company, and small law firm.
• learning French and ASL - I already speak 2 languages.
• electric guitar lol.
• data analysis skills such as Python, Excel, Tableau.
• international student, does Pakistani count as URM?

LOR: - Associate Dean - Associate provost of students - 2 profs - I can get one from my employer
Reason I want to become a lawyer: passionate about civil rights after growing up as a Pakistani woman in the Middle East who moved to North America for a better life. First gen here but I’m very privileged and parents are very comfortable.
Applying in 2 years so I can get WE as well. I plan on doing additional things such as volunteer work for a non profit, attempting to publish a paper on two on topics pertaining to civil rights (pray that goes well lol), and volunteering at my dream law firm if all goes well.
I know a lot can happen in two years but I want to start preparing now so I can gather all the necessary documents needed.
Thank you for bearing with me.

Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

Hello, thank you in advance for your help. Sorry if this is long. I want to be precise and descriptive and fair.
I am working in a technical field, as is my boss, in the southern United States. She is from Germany, and has been in the US since the 90s, I think.
As a person, I like her a lot and I think we have a lot in common. We like being outdoors, we are both mothers, we both really value health and wellbeing. I see her working to be considerate in many ways.
We have had a series of miscommunications, however, and I am not really sure how to navigate.
Here is a description of the first problem.
During the interview, I asked about job hours. They weren't specified in the job posting. I said I was hoping for 7-3:30, or 6:30-3, I wanted to get ahead of traffic. I also had a specific quandary to navigate-- I needed to pick up my daughter a few times per week until the school year ended.
In the group interview, my boss's boss took the question and said to me that they have people who do 7-4 and people who do 8-5 but that I couldn't start work before 7 for safety reasons-- but there is some flexibility.
So I thought, hey, 7-3:30, half hour lunch, can do. Maybe some days I can skip lunch and just grab a snack on my way back from the bathroom. Then I can leave at 3 and get my daughter. Surely they would work with me for a few weeks. They are flexible, he said. Wishful thinking on my part?
The offer letter did not specify work hours. I checked.
The first day of work came and toward the end of the day I let her know I had a schedule question. (I used Teams, which she instructed me to use and never close-- different issue.)
She came over to my desk. It's an open concept office space and we can all see each other and hear each other, about 12 of us. She asked me what my question was. I thought, this would have been better in private, but here goes. It's not like leaving early will ever be private anyway. So I asked her about leaving in time to pick my daughter up later that week. She kind of lost it. She raised her voice and got very intense and said she thought this question was already answered. 8 hour workday, one hour lunch, starting before 7 is not safe as I would be alone in the lab. I asked if lunch was mandatory. She said it was, and whether I take it or not the timeclock automatically deducts it. I explained I needed a little flexibility to care for my daughter. She kind of walked away, quickly, without saying anything. Maybe I imagined an extra heft to her step. She tends to walk quickly all the time, she's a busy lady. I admire her for that, but I was pretty sure she lost her temper at me, in public, for asking a question.
She ended up deciding and telling me the next day that I could work a little more some days and leave a little early on others.
I appreciated that and thanked her and we didn't talk about it until the 2 month review meeting. We have had a series of poor communication interactions over the past weeks and I wanted to take the opportunity to try and be proactive about having a better relationship and ironing out wrinkles. I was asking her about her communication preferences and asking her to work with me on resolving these snags, and I wanted to talk about the anxiety it causes me to have my boss suddenly get very angry about a question and to not really understand why. I prefaced this by reiterating that the issue is resolved (it really is, school year is over, I can do whatever they like now without endangering my daughter's mental health by making her quit the only thing she enjoys about school... ), and I wanted to talk about the effect of her getting so upset.
Two months later, she raised her voice and got upset again and stayed upset throughout the meeting. She talked so much about how she communicates the German way in that meeting the other day... I try to take people as individuals, and not assume that everything they do is characteristic of a group they belong to. I have worked with Germans before. They were blunt and direct and kind and never lost their temper in public, that I saw or heard of from others... after hearing how strongly she identifies her way of behaving as German, however, I started to wonder if I am missing an opportunity to understand better by not asking other Germans about this. So here we are.
Is that normal in Germany? Is that acceptable? How do Germans think about regulating strong emotions in a professional context? Is it insulting just to ask a question twice? Do you have any other insight for me? I am really struggling. I think it's because I like her so much, I have a strong emotional response to making her upset. There are other interactions, however, in there interest of not writing a novel I will save those for a future post.

Chapter 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu_pq-AgvNY

Traveling the country is never an easy task by oneself. Your truck breaks down, you can't get any sleep, you can't charge your phone whenever you want to, but you're free do whatever you want as long as you maintain your budget. Jacob Rissen had arrived at Garden City, Kansas to make some money for his next adventure. He'd been here for a few weeks and would soon be leaving. Whether it was the bright lights of All mart or the fact that he'd been at the register for six hours, Jacob Rissen was beginning to get a painful headache. He lived a mostly stress free life except for when his truck needed fixing. If ever the stress built up or he made enemies he'd say his goodbye's to his friends and leave for the next town. It was a skill he'd gained from his time in the Marine's having to make friends quickly and say goodbye at some time afterwards. He hadn't been a model Marine by any standards and no one looked at him for leadership. Jacob stayed under the radar easily hiding his true self which is where he made his peace. If anyone was to look to him for advice just because he took the job shortly after high school he'd have to question their inferiority complex. After three years of duty he'd been removed due to a 'personality disorder' but knew it was for the best. That had all been two years ago but he had yet to develop past that point in the civilian world. 

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" Jacob asked as the customer finished loading their groceries onto the belt. He only half listened to the customer's answer sure that if there was an actual problem he could fix it. Several plastic bags were quickly filled with the customer's selections. Looking up to see past the customer he saw his boss judging him yet again. Cassie was a skinny girl of twenty three, one year and a few months younger than himself. He knew that she was watching to make sure he was careful with the glassware unaware that even at his speed he tried his best to keep the customer's satisfied. She'd recently changed her disposition to him and would watch him several times during the day surely wondering why he worked so hard. A promotion could be easily obtained but he wasn't interested in something so permanent. Stress wasn't something he planned to have in his life so avoided it as best he could. He switched from job to job every few months so had to work harder than most to keep good job references. In the time it took his boss to charge one customer, Jacob's line was quickly finished leaving him time to rearrange the candy bars and face the soda bottles in the cooler. He had no problem with pushing himself harder than anyone else knowing that he had to make up for the past months he'd been free from a job.
"Logan!" Shrieked Maria, a brown skinned, Central American nineteen year old girl who worked in the clothing department. She was incredibly short so it always surprised him when she clung onto him by surprise. Being a traveler had its advantages which included becoming someone new in every town. His boss and the store managers knew his name was Jacob Rissen but he went by Logan with everyone else. In every town he visited he planned out who he was going to be and how long it would last. It wasn't because he didn't trust them but sometimes he wanted to make a new identity when he entered a new town. Once people got to know him well enough he would usually leave them with a pleasant memory of whoever he was that time instead of the memory of Jacob Rissen never to be seen or heard from again. If anyone tried to look him up on the internet they couldn't find him and if they did they'd get more questions than answers. It was his own middle finger to society, harmless as it was.
"Hey. Where have you been hiding?" Jacob joked, wrapping an arm around Maria. She smiled from ear to ear blushing as she usually did when he played the romantic protagonist. Jacob Rissen was never this confident around women but knew that Maria had a crush on Logan. When no one knows or cares about you when you leave a town it didn't matter who you were in said town. Even if Jacob made a fool of himself he could just hop in his truck and continue down the highway. People would wonder where Logan had gone but would soon forget him afterwards. Even with Maria in his arm, Jacob was deciding on what name to go by when he left.
"We just got a bunch of new clothes in. If someone was to take me out tonight I bet I'd look good." Maria asked in that feminine way of asking a man out without making it a question. Reality struck Jacob like the cupid's poisonous arrow. He was twenty five and had lived a life of pain and misery only to find relief in his divorce. Almost immediately after leaving the Marines his ex-wife had left him for one of his friends. Needless to say he didn't talk to either of them turning to a life of self indulgence and failed relationships. Only recently had he found peace in traveling the country and wasn't ready to give it up. Maria's eyes looked up at him urgently wanting an answer he couldn't give her. Most of the women he dated had left quickly after they both got what they wanted from the other. Maria was an innocent of sorts. This was surely just because she was just a recent high school graduate and he would not take advantage of that.
"I... I really like you." Jacob said as he felt Logan's confidence leaving him. "But, I thought we were just having fun at work." Maria's smile quickly turned downward, opening slightly in disbelief. It was a strange sight he'd never seen in a woman that liked him. Whenever he made his ex-wife sad she'd scream and yell at him. A reaction like this made him immediately regret his decision almost wanting to marry Maria on the spot instead of push her away.
"Yeah, it's all just... fun. I'll see you later. Gotta get back before the boss notices I'm missing." She said shuffling her feet as she walked away. He wanted to follow her and try to change her mind but knew that the man she wanted didn't actually exist. Jacob was back now for better or worse and she'd likely never see Logan again.
"How about a break?" Asked Cassie, his boss, from behind him. He jumped, frightened at her sudden appearance and curious about how much she had heard.
"I should probably just leave her alone for awhile." Jacob said realizing he'd just do more damage than good.
"You mean how you left me alone?" She asked smugly.
"You're my boss. Flirting with you really was just fun." Jacob joked knowing she knew the same. They both smiled at the memory of his interview.
"You gotta remember though. People aren't characters on TV. We have real feelings." She pointed out quickly turning to serious then back to a smile while she lightly pushed him out of the aisle. "Now go take your break heartbreaker." Now on bis break, he made his way out the building into the parking lot as his headache kicked in even harder than before. He had to close his eyes and blink several times as the parking lot switched from concrete to grassy plains in his eyes. Instead of cars he saw trees, instead of roads he saw fields, and instead of people he saw a herd of deer. After a moment it switched back to modern times eluding to the fact that he really wanted to get out of the city. Apparently he wanted it so badly his brain was playing tricks on him. His truck was parked far away from the customer vehicles and he quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. His brown hair was lightening up in certain areas thanks to the excessive sunlight it received these days. Even the short hairs on his face had begun to brighten. Like most people he had spent the majority of his time indoors but was beginning to see what the rest of the world missed out on as he traveled. Even his personality was better for it as the natural light kept him at ease. Traveling around taking jobs here and there seemed to be a better fit for him than living just to work at a job he hated. His family described him as a ghost whenever he called them and perhaps they were right in a sense. Jacob only stayed in a place for as long as he wanted and only worked enough to survive for the next few months. One month of work could keep him and his truck going strong for three. Once harvest time came he'd go back to Nebraska and find a farmer to work for. That would give him enough to travel for several more months giving him a long vacation from work. Even if he was in an accident and his truck was destroyed he had enough saved up to buy a similar one. He turned on his phone and connected to the store's wifi. Placing his phone in it's handless holder on the dash he leaned back in his drivers seat only to turn his face at the basket and remember he had to do laundry after work. Jacob sat there for awhile enjoying one of his favorite shows as the ground began to shake. He looked down at his hand to make sure he had only been drinking the soda he just bought before realizing the store was being hit with an earthquake. Glancing out the window he thought he saw something large flying in the sky before jumping out of his truck to run towards the building as quickly as he could.
"Calm down everyone! No pushing!" He shouted as he helped the people out of the building as the ground continued to violently shake.
"You calm down. What's wrong with you?" Asked a nearby elderly man. He looked around and saw that even though the ground was shaking he wasn't needed. Everyone continued to shop as if nothing was happening.
"It's an earthquake!" Jacob urged hoping for some sort of answer. If he was the only one feeling the ground shake he'd have to go to the hospital. He had enough money to pay for his life but not enough if he was dying of a stroke.
"It's just an earthquake." The elderly man said scornfully before noticing the concerned look on Jacob's face. "Probably not safe to be shopping right now but we're used to it."
"Sorry. I just came to town." Jacob lied. He'd been in town for a few weeks but hadn't felt an earthquake for at least few years.
"That explains it. It hasn't happened for awhile now but about a month ago it was earthquake after earthquake. The news says it isn't a problem but I blame those frackers." The man said before leaving Jacob to feel like an idiot. Even if the town was used to earthquakes he should have noticed something earlier. He'd been hopping around nearby from town to town before reaching Garden City and hadn't even felt shockwaves. Realizing that the customer's were all looking at him funny he looked at his watch and returned to his truck to get his phone. For the next few hours he accepted his coworkers jokes. Cassie, his boss, was sure to come by every half hour to joke with him.
"The ceiling is falling!" She said in a squeaky voice low enough for none of the customers to take her seriously.
"I can help you over here." Jacob said with a smile to a nearby customer looking for a register. Although he had made a fool of himself he smiled back at Cassie as she made her jokes. It was better than being ignored by his boss altogether but wondered if he should write her down as a reference for his next job.
"Did you-" Jacob began as he looked up at the customer. For a moment it looked like the man's ears were pointed outwards before returning to normal ears. Realizing it was fairly rude to stare at a larger man much stronger than himself he simply started loading his groceries into the bags.
"That explains it Maria. Logan likes men. He is an attractive man, good luck." Cassie joked one last time before returning to her post. At the very least he had made the day easier for his coworkers and should be happy about that.
"Sorry about her-" Jacob began before bracing himself against his register. From the electronics department came a loud and forceful explosion shooting a piercing soundwave towards the registers. Almost instantly the headache he'd been fighting all day disappeared as the force of the blast knocked something loose in his brain. Down towards the electronic's department grew a giant tree branch big enough to build a small house inside of. Reality had a hard time reaching him as he stood there wondering what had happened. All around him were faces mirroring his own stunned look. Customers and employees alike stood like statues trying to grasp what had happened. How did a tree suddenly appear in the middle of the store? How was it still growing through the foundation? The tree branch from the electronics department quickly grew and became large enough for people to rest inside.
"Is that a tree branch?" His customer said before falling to the ground.
"Sir!" Jacob shouted as he regained his movement. He left his register quickly to help the man to his feet before seeing the arrow that had struck the man in the chest.
"What is... this?" He choked out, spilling blood from his mouth onto the white tile floor. Jacob was quick to leave the man's side as the customer's began to shout in panic. Civilian triage and military triage differed in certain places but were also alot alike. In the civilian world if someone looks dead you run to them. In the military world if someone looks dead you help someone else. Just because the man was talking didn't mean he wasn't dead. Treat the casualty, prevent further casualties, complete the mission. Jacob couldn't treat the causalty so had to move on to the next. Step two was critical to step three and if the man couldn't fight he couldn't complete the mission. Using his register he smashed the nearby soda cooler, wrapped a cleaning rag around the largest glass shard and held it like a weapon. It was the fourth luckiest he'd ever been as he looked up just in time to avoid a whizzing arrow. Dodging a bullet was one thing, but dodging an arrow was what really made time feel slower. When people say time slows down in a bullet fight they're wrong. Time speeds up even faster only slowing down when you're about to make a mistake but not fast enough to do anything about it. In order to keep from slowing down he made sure not to look back at the arrow and only forward at his goal. The archer who had tried to kill him was unseen as he hid behind a band of sword wielding warriors running down the aisles. Jacob couldn't take them all on with just a glass shard so took the route through the clothing department.
"Logan! What's going on!?" Maria screamed as she clung to him again. Jacob almost stabbed her as she surprised him but quickly tried to calm her down.
"We're under attack. I don't know why their using swords and arrows. Is anyone else nearby?"
"They killed them all!" She shouted again soaking his work uniform with red stained tears.
"Lept Ka!" Shouted a warrior thrusting his sword through the clothing rack. Jacob was quick to push Maria off of him as he grabbed his attackers hand through the rack and forced himself through, glass shard first. The rack had knocked over on top of his attacker but from the blood on the glass he knew they had to take this chance to run. If Maria was correct he would be of more use at the entrance to the store than the back.
"RRAAAAG!" Came a roar from behind them as they ran. Turning to look at the sound he saw the clothing department being burned down by none other than a green dragon. He knew it wasn't possible and that it must just be some kind of weapon but didn't think past it as he clutched Maria's hand in their sprint. Just as they reached the jewelry department the ground underneith him turned red showing some strange rune made of light. His feet immediately lost their balance as if being controlled by the strange looking glyph on the floor.
"Ir apo." Said a female's voice nearby. Before he could get up the voice's owner thrust a large expensive looking staff to his chest. The end piece didn't pierce him but rested on him instead.
"Ir mi." She said again with just enough emotion in her face to almost look sad. The end piece of the staff began to glow and heat up burning a hole in his shirt. The smell of burning fabric filled his nostrils as the cheap company shirt burned. Before she could do worse he pushed the staff away burning his hand. Although his hand was badly burned he forced both of them around the enemy's throat taking in her face as the life faded. He looked her over as she went unconscious, wondering why she decided to wear fake elf ears into battle. Part of him wanted to keep his hands there and continue his blood choke until she died but he had to get Maria out of the store. It didn't help that the strange woman's tears had found their way onto his hands. Confident that she would be out for a few moments he grabbed Maria's hand again and the two continued to run towards the registers.
"Jacob!" Cassie shouted from a nearby register she had apparently been hiding behind.
"Come on!" He said grabbing her with his other hand and pulling her from her safe space. The bodies of the customers were concentrated the most at the entrance of the store. Many of the dead had been killed from arrows rather than swords and one from a large perfectly circlular hole in the chest from what could have only been an energy weapon.
A nearby warrior pointed at them with a sword and yelled out a battlecry. There was a familiar 'bang' to his right as he watched the warrior fall dead. Apparently Cassie kept a pistol at her station and continued to fire wildly at the warrior's direction as the three of them escaped out the doors of the store. As unsafe as some may believe, he was glad to have her armed, shooting behind them as they went.
"Put down the weapon!" Said a police officer taking cover behind his patrol car. Cassie was quick to throw the weapon as the trio ran past more and more bodies of civilans and enemies alike. They quickly made their way out of the range of fire as more and more police cars gathered in the parking lot looking more like a mass grave. They didn't stop running until they reached Logan's truck.
"Hold it!" Shouted a nearby officer before he could get them in his truck and escape.
"We need to g-" Logan began before his voice disappeared behind the loud rifles the officers began to fire. The four used the truck as cover careful to watch the massacre that was occuring. The enemy didn't seem to know fear as they ran towards the barricade. As more and more police joined the battle the bullets easily pierced the enemy. More and more warriors emerged from the doors but were quickly killed from gunfire.
"RRRAAAGGHH!" Shouted the building as the ceiling was torn apart by the dragon-like weapon they had brought with them. Fire sprayed from it's mouth, igniting several of the parked cars. Explosion after explosion were seen as the police took cover and contionued to fire at the dragons. The rounds found their way through the dragons thick armor and it wasn't long before all the headshots took their toll. The dragon fell quickly to the concrete, dead. It was unbelievable how soon the battle had ended. So many civilians had been killed as they ran but one police department was enough to stop the enemy's advance. If it had happened a few hours later there wouldn't be half as many casualties.

Today I was at my monthly writing group meeting. There were three of us: me (33, engaged, doesn’t want kids), John (40, fake name, married), Bob (35, fake name, recently single but wants kids).
I don’t remember how the topic of kids came up exactly but we were likely talking to/about John and his two young children. Bob then mentions how he wants kids but recently had a situation with his now ex girlfriend in which she became pregnant but ended up having an abortion because they realized 1) they were ready and 2) they didn’t want to have a child together. Bob then turns to me and asks if me and my fiancé want kids (he’s new to the group so he wouldn’t have known this like, perhaps, John does). I say no and their faces immediately twist. “What? Really?! Wow!” are their responses. I tell them I never really had a desire to be a father, and that it’s always been something I just assumed would happen until I stopped to think about if I actually wanted it. John goes on to tell me how much he loves his kids (as if I disparaged his decision by having an opinion on the matter of my own) and Bob tells me how he can’t wait to have kids. My response? Okay, cool. But that’s you guys, not me.
I then tell them, perhaps because I was feeling pressured or guilty, I don’t know, that my fiancé and I love kids and we actually want to open our home one day to foster. And they immediately went in on me telling me “Oh, pshh, you’re gonna fall in love and you’re not gonna want the kids to leave and then you’re gonna want some of your own!” I found that so annoying and so dismissive. We want to foster because we like kids and teens and we want to help, be a safe space. That doesn’t equate to wanting to being a full time parent. There was also this sense of condescension, as if my partner and I haven’t thought deeply about this.
Lastly, John asks “what are you gonna do when you’re 70 and alone?” To which I say, “I hope I have built a community that will want to come see me. Whether that’s through the youth I fostered, friends I’ve made of all ages, etc.” I then say, “But that’s no reason to have kids. Just so you’re not alone one day?“
It just seemed like me not wanting to have kids had such an effect on then. I even told them I get why people do it! Of course I do! For many it’s biological. It’s natural. But that I couldn’t fathom bringing kids into this world. What are you doing? Who knows, maybe some people think their kids will change the world but I just don’t like the idea. I just felt like I was defending myself when I didn’t need to, that i had to prove to them I had a worthy cause.
Anyway, I found the exchange incredibly supercilious. Just because someone has kids or wants to have kids doesn’t mean my not wanting them affects you in ANY WAY.

~First~
For Newest England
...? The man simply smiles at her for a bit. She has no idea what to say or expect.
“Tea?” He asks her.
“What?”
“Tea? It’s a hot drink, locally produced actually.” He says and she blinks.
“I haven’t heard of it before.” Shelly says and he sighs.
“One of many tragedies upon this world. Although it’s likely one of the few that you yourself are not personally aware of or impacted by.” The man says. Something prickles at the back of her plating. Right in the joints. Her mother always taught her to pay attention to that, and her mother didn’t raise a fool.
“You’re real name isn’t Wettsworth, is it?”
“Very well spotted. I knew there was something to you.” He compliments her. Not actively confirming her suspicion while also answering the question completely.
“Who are you?”
“I am a very concerned citizen. This beautiful world is in the grip of four squabbling tyrants that failed to properly break off from The Gavali Empire. The Empire itself is ludicrous in many of it’s policies and would have brought about it’s own destruction by now if not for the fact that only a single small laneway connects these systems to the wider galaxy and therefore isn’t anyone’s real concern.” The man says and her eyebrows climb up and she sits back a little to re-evaluate him.
Her old training kicks in and she scans him. He’s armed. There are multiple expanded spaces on him and they’re all deep enough that there could be anything in there. The man could suddenly invert things and she’d find herself fighting someone in full power armour.
“Ah, good you’re paying proper attention. So as we wait for...” He begins before turning to the upcoming waitress. “I’d like the menus now please, and some more hot water and another mug if you’d be so kind. I’d like to share what I’m drinking with my friend here.”
“Oh! Of course... uhm... is your friend...”
“She’s here for a business proposition. One I think she’ll like. Thank you.” He says throwing the waitress a wink and she blushes brightly before rushing off. He then takes a sip of his drink and regards Shelly again. “Would it make you feel more comfortable if I were to hand one of my weapons over? I assure you it will work for you as well as me, it’s not bio-coded like The Imperial Army Munitions.”
“How do you know that?” She asks and then frowns a little as he clearly scans the area, and then turns on a signal jammer while he leans forward.
“Because I mean to take this world from The Empire. Permanently.” He states softly and her eyes widen in shock. He then leans back and deactivates the jammer.
“Who are you?”
“Me? I’m your new best friend madam patriot. You want the best for your beloved homeworld? That’s me. I mean to take it.”
“How?”
“With ease. However, the how’s and why’s of my conquest are not of concern to you. Nonono, the concern to you my dear is what happens after.” He says.
“What comes after?” She asks as the Waitress returns with the menus and gets a dazzling smile from the very handsome but clearly very dangerous man. The girl outright skips back to get the hot water and mug.
“Defending, rebuilding, growing. I need people who love Lavaron down to the depths of their being and those with the knowledge and skill to support it by my side. Those that merely have knowledge and skill are easy to sway with a properly padded paycheck, but a patriot? Someone motivated by love? Well, that’s a bit more tricky, but equally as important. If not more so.”
“Is it? I was told that I was an archaic fool pining for a yesteryear that never happened.”
“Without bonds to hold a community together it shatters, those that told that to you did so with only ill intent of that I can assure you. Why, as an avowed patriot myself, I dare say I find the company of other such patriotic souls a comfort.”
“And what are you patriotic to?” She asks before the Waitress comes back and promises to come back in a few minutes. She’s sent away with a goofy smile as the man offers an early tip for such prompt and exceptional service. “Why are you buttering her up like that?”
“She’s going to remember nothing about today but that it was the day a very handsome man made her feel like a queen and paid her like one. She won’t remember you beyond the most vague details when pressed.” He promises her and her eyes shoot back and forth as she puts it together. This man IS a spy of some kind. He IS up to something and he’s playing the people around him like puppets to dance exactly how he wants them to and to see what he wants them to see and nothing else.
“And why is this so important?”
“When planning sedition some privacy is needed.”
“Out in the open? Like this?!”
“Yes.” He says. “Everyone is so busy with their lives that they won’t do more than ogle me for a moment and then move on. However your apartment is bugged and while I could do something about that, I doubt you want me to go through your personal effects and ripping out the walls to get them all.”
“Okay, that’s my limit. What do you want from me.”
“I’m going to wipe out the Vatras and when I’m done.”
“That’s the sort of thing you say when the signal jammer is ON.” She snaps at him.
“Only if the jammer doesn’t work by sending out a very, very aggressive worm program to strategically erase my voice from any recording.”
“And if they get around it?”
“I like excitement.” He says with a smirk and a sip of his drink.
“And why do you want me? I was a middling officer at best at the very height of my career. My troops were only a few steps away from being ceremonial, and would have been if we had the budget for it.”
“True. However you and your troops had a very important trait in common. Patriotism.” He says before turning and smiling at the waitress. “Hello again dear woman, that’s a lovely trick you’ve done with your hair.”
“Oh is it? I couldn’t... I mean... uh... order. Your order please!”
“Certainly, my friend and I both think the Galri Salad looks exceptional.” He says and she nods before taking both menus and leaving with a spring in her step. “It takes so little to make a public place outright private.”
He pulls out a small case and rather it being a weapon or anything, it’s filled with a series of small perforated cloth bags. He tosses one into the mug that had been brought for Shelly and then pours the hot water that had arrived onto it.
“What’s that?”
“What drew me to your world, so you best be grateful for it.”
“Grateful? I don’t even understand who or what you are. Or what this is.”
“Tea. One of your local plants is an evolutionary sibling to something found on my homeworld. Something so valuable that empires, fortunes and lives have been lost in it’s pursuit. In ancient times it was the drink of rebels and plotters, in more classical times it was the drink of the well heeled and dignified. Now it is the drink of nations, a uniting force across disparate languages, peoples and creeds.”
“Well, I suppose with a history like that I can hardly refuse.” Shelly says before a hint of paranoia has her swap mugs with him.
“Oh, fresher tea! Delightful.” The man says taking a sip. “That wouldn’t work either way. I’m human. You’ll have to look very hard for something that’s awful enough to make me die from it.”
With a sigh she trades the mugs back. It was a pointless gesture then. But it does raise another question. As if she didn’t have an entire legion of them. He grip on the mug tightens in frustration and she looks him plain in the face.
“Just spill it. What do you want?” She demands and he holds up a finger before The Waitress arrives with their salads. She delivers with a little spin and he offers light applause before giving her another bit of a pre-tip and she skips away.
“I want you to reactivate your soldiers. I want you to re-vet them to ensure they’re still patriots. I’ll supply you with weapons, equipment and a safe place to muster. I’m taking this world, but to hold it I need people willing to fight and kill for it. I want Lavaron to be the next part of the British Empire and like all our colonies, former and current, I want it to thrive. I want it strong, I want it wealthy. I want it to be a crowning jewel that shines brighter than it’s star.” He explains before pointing up towards the noonday sun.
She just stares at him. He smirks and then picks up his utensils to start eating. After a few moments he gives her an odd look. “I didn’t buy that salad for the looks Shelly, eat.”
“... Are you insane?” She asks him.
“No, I’m very good. But as I get some things moving, I need to start others.”
“And I’m part of your master plan?”
“Your name is pencilled in, your attributes are inked in.”
“Pardon?”
“Oh dear, excuse me. Pencils are a writing implement and Ink is as well. Pencil markings can be erased, Ink cannot. So, while you yourself are not my only option, I’m only choosing from people with a deep love of this world and a desire to protect it.” He says. “So if you don’t feel like your up for helping your world become everything you dreamed of and shaping history...”
“Stop the sale.” She says and he quiets down. She points at him. “You, a man. A single man. A foreigner, a stranger, an alien who has likely been on this world for less time than I’ve been between jobs. You think you can just come here and make everything better? What kind of hubris do you have to think that all our issues are easily solved? Do you have any ideas how powerful the Vatras are? Do you have any idea what The Empire’s stance on them are?”
“Each Vatras has an army that has at minimum a million people strong. They command trillions in credits worth of resources casually and each has a long history of slamming down on rebellion and uprisings with enough force that several lakes on Lavaron are in fact the filled in craters where there used to be towns. And with all that power, The Empire thinks of them as an amusing annoyance and their policy is that they can have their fun, but if they try to spread their silliness then they’ll be broken all the way down to the atomic level under laser barrage.” He explains and she nods. “I’ve already started to work onto all four of them. The fun thing about strong, paranoid opponents, is that they’re easily pointed to each other.”
“... what?”
“Shelly. I’m not asking for blind faith. I’m not asking you to throw your life away.” He says before pulling out a piece of paper and pen before writing down an address and a time. “All I’m asking is a second little date for you to see exactly what I’m going to do for you and Lavaron.”
“I see.” She says and considers for a few moments. Someone like this was dangerous. Very, very dangerous. If they can’t live up to their boasting then they’ll kick the Vatras into a frenzy. If they DO succeed then the rest of The Gavali Empire will slam down.
“I see, and what happens if I don’t like what I see?”
“No one will believe you, and by the time anyone does everything you know will either be out of date or painfully obvious. So I’m not concerned.” He says and she just narrows her eyes at him.
“You’re awfully certain of that.”
“I am completely certain, but if you feel the need to push against it, by all means do so. But please understand that an opportunity like this is once in a lifetime. Do you want to heal Lavaron?”
“Of course I do, but I question whether a single man is capable of such.” She replies and he nods.
“Well, you have the time and place. If you want more of a show, arrive early.” He offers. “Still, I think we’ve gotten as far as we can today. You know where to be if you want some evidence. Otherwise... well you can go back to a fruitless job search.”
She takes the paper from him and frowns. It’s dated for tomorrow evening.
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
She arrives two hours early. Not like she has anything to do. And it’s not like she won’t be aware of anyone accepting her applications if she gets an answer.
In the distance she can see a great deal of commotion kicking off. Security forces are being suddenly hit by a building they were checking before an army gets involved. Then another branch of it comes in and before anything can happen one of the vehicles veers away from the rest and then seems to fade away from sight.
At a distance that cloaking is exceptional, but up close it’s clear that there’s something approaching. Something that lands next to her and a door opens in the clearly distorted air. “Come in please.”
She enters and finds several tied up and unconscious Blythe troopers and Wettsworth in the pilot’s seat.
“These ships don’t have a cloaking function.”
“No, but the trinity of drones I stuck to each side do. Now you’re a little too early and things aren’t quite finished, but if you’d be so kind as to strap yourself in as the show kicks off.”
“What are you doing?!”
“Why fight four big enemies, when they can fight each other to your benefit?” He asks simply. “By the by, you never told me what you thought of the tea.”
“Needed some sweetener.”
“Jam and cream perhaps?” He offers.
“Maybe. So... what do you want to show me?”
“Beyond the battered and beaten forces of the Vatras? I’ve stolen enough older munitions to arm your unit thrice over. With this safe haven being compromised it’s being abandoned. And they’re going to grab all the wrong things in their abandonment.”
“What’s the thing they should grab?”
“The map and keycards to the nearby old military bases. They’re collecting dust and little else in there. And while the equipment in there is not to Imperial Standard, Imperial Standard is is merely a mild weight upgrade and biocoding. There’s enough in there to give a serious fight to any of the four Vatras, let alone the winner after they’ve had a free for all.”
“And what do we do about the defence stations that can turn their cannons onto the world and slaughter the people!?”
“I am going to handle that.”
“How?”
“Subversion, destruction and outright theft.”
“How do you steal an entire space station?”
“Do you want a breakdown of my intended operation, or do you want the punchy retort?”
“The real answer.”
“So are you in?”
“...”
“The plan is need to know, and you only need to know if...” He begins before one of the ships finally opens fire and things above them descend into a quick flurry of violence before they break off. “Almost, they’re still too aware of the The Empire nearby and not quite angry enough at each other yet. Still, this is a good step forward.”
She considers for only a second more. He just got the Vatras to fight each other and is blatantly stealing from them. If she reports him and somehow gets him arrested she’ll maybe get a pat on the head and a job offer. But if he is serious... if he can keep this up... “Fine I’m in, if only to curtail the damage as best I can. How are you taking over an entire space station?”
She’s learning to fear that smirk.
~First~ Last

I recently crafted my own spell to "bury the hatchet" regarding negativity in Energy, Spirits, and People.
The next day was uncanny. I felt changed. I felt weird. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive disorder and after targeting this in My spell, I couldnt figure out if I felt more paranoid or less. It was the weirdest unfamiliar warm feeling in my chest
And then I concluded: I lived in depression for so long, I forgot what absolute contentedness and peace felt like. And I knew this was peace because of the insane amount of NOTHING i had to worry about for the first time in a long time. The presence of peace itself was so unfamiliar that it felt threatening. I was amazed at how LITTLE I had to worry about. It definitely helped and worked.
And to help, I got official confirmation that my spell had worked today returning to my. the "People" aspect of what I targeted WAS SUCCESSFUL! Because my target regarding people, came to me to apologize. We now are friends and buried our hatchet.
That was the point of my spell ♡
I'm so happy at my progress and will be sharing the negativity cemetery spell once I write it out coherently ♡ everyone deserves this kind of peace I think. I'm so freakin happy.

The strange creature draws its weapon, and every Florb in the room freezes. We've all seen just what this terrifying device is capable of firsthand when it used it to slay the Grobulan pirates who had boarded our vessel. It was a massacre, their screams still echo in my mind. I could do nought but watch in bloodied horror as their bodies simply detonated in a shower of blue fluid. And the noise... the horrible horrible noise. One would expect a weapon of such terrifying power to be matched by an equally powerful roar, but this one's report is far more fluidchilling. Almost silent, except for a high pitched whine as its motors spin to unfathomable speeds within fractions of a second- delivering its lethal payload at a fraction the speed of sound itself yet despite this, the projectile is almost entirely silent. At least until impact. Never did I think a soft 'plink' could instill such fear within me. But when it is accompanied by such death... how could it not? And the plink was only when it missed and struck a nearby object instead! I dare not describe the noise of a direct hit, suffice to say it is the stuff of nightmare.
At the least, it certainly appears fearsome. Ergonomically designed, seeming to my eyes to be tailored to the creature's unique physical composition. One end is flaired into a flat shape which it braces against what it has informed me during my earlier medical operation to be its 'shoulder'. No doubt to handle the certainly vicious recoil such a mortifying tool must produce- though it gives no physical signs of such recoil during firing, I can only assume its physical strength must be beyond measure. The main body of the weapon is as black as the void, which makes its surface difficult for my eyes to truly discern- not that I believe my mind could handle whatever arcane horrors must make up its mechanical composition. What is all too easy to see, however, is the other end of it. Bright orange, as the surface of a lower main sequence star- appropriate, given its sheer power. One could liken it to the force of a star itself, and though such a likening would yet be metaphorical I could think of a few who may yet truly believe it if they bore witness to its effect.
"Take me back. Now." The room's translator intoned with mechanical apathy. It was a rushed job, and certainly imperfect- intonations and inflections are always the most difficult thing to encode into a translator so sometimes when a new one pops up it doesn't know what to do with it and just goes flat. This is the first time it's used this particular tone, but we all knew exactly what it intended, given that it now points the weapon of our salvation against us. As the captain pleaded with it to reconsider her offer, I thought back to how this mess began...
I am aboard the FLB Bright Future. An exploratory vessel plying the deepest reaches of unexplored space on a mission to discover valid hyperlane anchor points. Ours is a most vital task, for without the anchors, travel on the scale necessary to support intragalactic infrastructure was simply impossible. And without such infrastructure, new sources of valuable chemical resources could not be tapped to support the growth of the Florbus Combine. It is a long mission, as traveling without a hyperlane is a task of many years even with the most powerful warp engine. Folding spacetime from within the bubble is a monumental and extremely energy intensive task, which is why we need the anchors. With an exorbitantly large external structure, a self-stable bubble can be formed with relative ease around other objects, and from there a smaller engine can focus instead on pushing it- though the bubble will break on its own eventually, which limits how far a given vessel can travel, and cannot be broken from within; thus necessitating a different anchor at the destination. Further still spacetime bubbles of any sort are extremely sensitive to gravitational forces, which makes sense of course as gravity is essentially a fluctuation within spacetime itself. Thus, the 'hyperlane' was born. Areas of the galaxy where such fluctuations are either weak enough to be ignored, or predictable enough to be utilized for ever faster travel.
And so, the task of exploratory vessels such as the Bright Future is twofold. To ply the depths of unexplored space, analyzing the gravitational patterns and identifying prime locations for Hyperlane anchors. Far enough away from the next nearest to be cost effective, as simply building an anchor in every single star system is out of the question, but close enough to minimize the risks of unwary vessels overestimating their distance and ending up trapped in the depths of the void. Though most vessels do have a warp engine, most commercial organizations rely upon the anchors so greatly that such engines are often only barely strong enough to guide a bubble formed by an anchor. It is rare for a non-specialized vessel to be capable of self-bubbled travel, especially since such an engine is often extremely expensive to fabricate and to power. Nearly 90% of the Bright Future's fusion drive is dedicated to the task, necessitating minimal life support functions and stasis pods when in use.
I am the lead medical officer of the FLB Bright Future, Plorp Ruffaloo. Yes, yes, hold your awe. I am well aware of the nobility of my name, but I care little for such things. I refuse to ride upon my father's coat-tentacles, which is why I volunteered for such a common position instead of seeking the employment of cutting edge research facilities. Besides, I always felt that the best research is that done outside of a stuffy and controlled laboratory. Science is exploration, of a sort, if one is not adventurous in their pursuit of it than any discovery they make is bound to be pedestrian or extraordinarily slow to achieve. Out here, I get to study the anatomies of new and exciting creatures discovered upon the worlds we encounter. The array of life is truly astonishing.
Which is why I am currently utterly flabbergasted at the sight before me. Never in my days have I encountered a creature so... perplexing. Preliminary examination reveals that it's body is, astoundingly, supported by some kind of rigid internal structure, not unlike the hollow structures inside of Freeanas, that my medical scanning equipment cannot penetrate. However, by my reckoning I would need a vessel-grade device to create rays powerful enough to examine the internal structure of these supports, it is as if the thing is made of some manner of rock or crystal! What on Florbulus could drive such an adaptation? I do understand that the gravity of the world upon which it was discovered is significantly higher than average for life bearing planets, but surely this is too much?
"What could these creatures being doing, to necessitate such internal durability..." I mused to myself. I jumped when Hark Manyfred responded, I had forgotten he was here still, "From what I saw, doc, fighting a war."
My cephalus paled. A war? So then the long-distance scanners were true? This is an intelligent species? I suppose I should have gathered from the relatively obvious artificial accoutrement it came with but, well, I was more focused on the gaping wound in one of its limbs at the time. When lieutenant Manyfred brought the creature in, it appeared to have been struck by some kind of object- a small piece of lead, which was astonishingly almost flattened. For such a material to deform so severely, whatever sent it flying must have been extraordinarily powerful. I struggled greatly to perform surgery, even the creature's flesh seems to be supernaturally durable. I had to make use of a laser cutter typically reserved for cutting through military armor just to create an opening large enough to fit extraction tools through. It took the strength of I and all three of my attending to ply the object free from its form- as it appeared to have been lodged inside one of those very dense supporting structures.
As I recalled this, it all suddenly made sense. A high gravity planet, intelligent, with extremely dense internal structures, and fighting a war. This is a soldier! Heavily augmented with some kind of organic implant. The lead must be... dear gods, a weapon? Fashioned specifically to tear through flesh with ease, if its saw-blade shape is anything to go by. Or perhaps... could the lead have deformed after impact with the structure, rather than having been shaped? If that was the case then its original shape... some kind of pointed volume? Aerodynamic... it was FIRED? They use lead projectiles as a weapon? I must make a report of this, the captain will want to-
"Ugh... my head..." IT SPEAKS? Actually, wait, that must be the translator. The ship is equipped with embedded translators in each room to save the burden of carrying a computational box on the person, though the fact that its working already must mean...
"Dr. Tryn? I take it you have already deciphered their language?" I call over my communication device.
"Yes, Dr. Ruffaloo," Dr. Tryn began, he is the ship's communications officer, a Freeana, and also an expert in xenolinguistics for exactly this situation- first contact, "Once we entered orbit I had discovered that the strange EM waves were, in fact, not due to the local star. But rather artificial constructions! A massive communications network scaling the entire planet, though nowhere beyond it except for what appear to be a handful of very small orbital outpo-"
"Yes, yes, Dr. Tryn. I understand you're excited. But if you truly wish to study their language more, I believe you would have better luck speaking with our guest," I know him too well, and frankly was not eager to handle initial outreach with a patient who had just awoken from such a horrendous wound. I did not need to keep my device on to know that his assistants were plugging their auditory cavities to protect themselves from his excited shrill.
In barely 2 minutes, Dr. Tryn burst through the doorway in an exhausted huff. Thankfully the patient didn't seem to take notice of where exactly it was just yet, its oculars have yet to unshield themselves. I prepared to greet my colleague but he seemed disinterested in me, as I should expect.
"Arghcke Thee Awoken?" I heard, which caused me to realize that I was actually awake and not at home in bed. Fuck. I've gotta get up, that asshole could still be- "OW!" Shit, the gunshot, I must-
Where the hell am I. I'm pretty sure I was just at an airsoft field, in the middle of a match when some psycho brought his dad's real fucking gun instead. Bastard even painted the damned thing's barrel and made sure to hide it. What the fuck was he thinking? But right now I'm looking at... a... what the hell is it? It looks like a cross between a fish and a bird. It's got feathers, and what looks like a beak. But then its shiny, and has big 'ol fish eyes and weird looking neck-gill thingies, like Abraham from Hellboy. Next to it is.. an Octopus? But its huge, like three times the size of a person. And also wearing a doctor's outfit. What the actual-
Ow. I'm reminded that I was just shot in the leg. Even the slightest movement hurts like hell, but when I looked down I couldn't see an entry wound. Or any blood for that matter, nor did it feel like I had shards of thigh bone stabbing me from the inside. It was just... really sore.
"Me Cogitates Its Wakefulness, Medical Officer Tryn," The Octopus spoke. It spoke. Holy shit these are aliens. Holy shit. Fuck. Uh, oh no? Oh yes? I don't know, actually. I mean, they don't seem like the 'take me to your leader and prepare for anal probing' type... They apparently even bothered to fix my leg and, presumably, save me from that gun toting maniac. Looking around I see they even brought my stuff with me, though it's locked up in some kind of transparent locker. Not that an airsoft M4 would be particularly useful against an advanced alien species. Their words are weird, but the fact that I can hear anything even remotely coherent means they have some kind of translation thingy going on. Though either its really bad or they do just have a strange manner of speaking. Is... no way is this actually first contact? That would explain the crappy translation, at least, it would mean they've had hardly any time at all to decipher my language. I should try...
"Uh, yes? I am awake. Uh, hi?" I make my best attempt at a greeting, but they all jump back when I raise my hand in a lazy wave. Oh yeah, first contact, shit. Can't make any sudden movements, in fact they probably- OH JESUS THAT'S A SHARK. YEP. THAT IS A GOD DAMN SHARK PERSON RIGHT THERE.
Ohkay. Ohkay. Calm down. Aliens. Yes. Just aliens, maybe its a nice shark person? Maybe he's a doctor- no. He's definitely got some kind of weapon. Vaguely gun shaped, but strangely very round like a banana. But with a lightshow on the side of it. A laser maybe? Anyways, yes, he must be the guard. Makes sense. New species, no clue what they're capable of. Far as they know I got retractable claws or acid spit or something. No sudden moves, or King Shark over there might rip me in half or... distingrate me with that fancy gun, I guess.
The bird-fish, I think the Octopus called it Medical Officer Tryn? But the Octopus is the one wearing the outfit... ohhh bad translation, right. Medical Officer is probably an attempt to translate Doctor? Which means the bird-fish is a Doctor, but not necessarily a medical one. Or maybe he is and doctor's just dress like that and the Octopus back there is a nurse or something. Anyways, the Doctor seemed to fiddle with something in the wall, and then spoke again, "There, that should be better. I always forget to account for the more common bands. Now, I would ask if you are awake again, but I think that much is obvious. Greetings! I am Doctor Ooliueaette Trynishidianafore. But my colleagues often refer to me a Dr. Tryn, I am the communications officer. This is Doctor Plorp Ruffaloo our shipboard medical professional, and the one behind you is lieutenant Hark Manyfred, the on who retrieved you from your endangered state. We are currently aboard the FLB Bright Future, which is a spacefaring exploratory vessel under the command of the Florbus Combine. I hope you do not mind, but I took the liberty of exploring the rudimentary communications systems of your world, and discovered quite the interesting stock of conceptual fictions! I've not yet poured through them all, but I believe you are well familiar with most civilized structural concepts."
The bird-fi, er, Dr. Tryn seemed... happy? I couldn't be too sure, whatever is doing the translation appears to be attempting to mimic tone and inflections but, well, I guess its still a bit too new at this. In any case, I think the doctor here is excited. Also the Shark guy is the one that saved me? Cool. Wait, he said he looked through our 'rudimentary communications systems'? Oh dear god no, he's seen the internet. This could be bad.
"Listen, uh, what you saw on the internet, just know that it alot of, uh, well not really true stuff. I mean, its not the best image of humanity-" I began, when the doctor interrupted me
"Oh! Don't worry too much! As I said I've yet to pour through most of what I recovered, and when I performed my initial sweep I had yet to fully flesh out the translations. Currently I only have saved information related to a few keywords. This isn't my first first contact, you know! I'm well aware of how.. shall we say, odd some species' public communications networks can be. To protect myself from whatever horrors may have been conjured by nascent- what did you say, humanity? I was very conservative in my retrievals. In any case, there will always be time later to do a more thorough exploration when sufficient context has been gained."
Oh thank god. I raised a hand to my chest, only to notice that it was incredibly easy. Far too easy, in fact. As if I weighed almost nothing...
Oh day! What a joyous day! First contact! It has been so many years since the last one, I had begun to lose hope that I would see another in what time I have left. I could not help but sing a joyous song on the way, though for the sake of our new guest I had to restrain myself before entering. There is no telling if they are sensitive to sound, I would not want to accidentally deafen a brand new species! I am so very pleased to know that the translation is working correctly, it won't be long before it's heard every possible phoneme and intonation. Perhaps in just a few days we'll be able to converse as if we shared the same native tongue!
Not to mention, they are remarkably calm! Normally first contact can be a rather hectic affair, filled with songs of fear or anger. But not this one! It seems I was correct in my observation that his people have long since theorized spaceflight, and even the possibility of alien species. I was afraid for a moment that the fictions I'd discovered were obscure resources known to only a few, or perhaps they are and he is one of those few. In any case, this is looking to be a very smooth first contact! Those are the best, as it gives me the greatest amount of time to converse for the sake of improving the translator and truly exploring the depths of their culture and history in the most engaging way possible: conversation!
"Now! What do your people call you- actually, first, do your people also utilize individual-specific names, or titles?" A beginners question, but an all-too-important one. A great deal of cultural differences can arise from something so seemingly small as the usage of names.
"Ugh, yes, we have names. Mine's Duncan. Duncan Euler, no not that- oh, you... probably wouldn't know who Euler was. Anyways, yeah. That's my name." It spoke, the words did come off a little flat in the translator but I could hear the subtle variations that the translator couldn't overwrite! Wonderful! Their species seems to make use of intonations and inflections, and the name, two names, a first and last. Just like most species, lending further creedence to Metacognitive Binomial theory. I'll have to make a note of that later, for now...
"And what is it you do, Duncan Euler? I mean to say, your profession or trade? For what societal purpose do you serve?" Another quite important question, by knowing the station of the subject we know what their perspective of their own society might be. Naturally you cannot learn all there is to know from a single individual, especially in more fracturous societies where so little as a place of birth can be the difference between ancestral hatred or familial piety.
"I believe he is a soldier, Dr. Tryn," Dr. Ruffaloo spoke up, which does annoy me somewhat. I understand his desire to hasten things stems from his people's general anxiety towards prolonged contact, but seriously! Long, drawn out conversations are the best. He should know how rude he is being!
Duncan spoke up now, thankfully, "Actually, no, I-"
BOOM. The entire vessel is suddenly rocked by what sounds like some kind of explosion. I and the others are tossed to a far wall with agonizing force, I feel as several of my hollow bones shatter from the impact. The pain is excrutiating. It cannot end like this! I had too much to live for! I wasn't... done... talking......
----
Fuck. That was loud, and painful. Not really in the "oh no all my bones broke" sort of way, but more like tripping on something and then faceplanting sort of way. Except I fell backwards, into the wall, and although I didn't feel anything break, that doesn't mean nothing did. At the very least I'm gonna have one hell of a bruise on my back. This, at least, confirmed my suspicions. I bounced off that wall like a superball, gravity on this ship is really weak. Walking is going to be a bitch and a half. Though given the explosion I don't think walking is going to be my main worry, what hell is happening?
"HULL BREACH DETECTED," A drone of a voice rang out, must be some kind of ship board AI? "SEALING CABINS. SEAL SUCCESSFUL. REPRESURR-" BOOM. Another explosion, but smaller this time- I was able to catch myself just fine. I look over to where the other are and- oh god. Dr. Tryn is... jesus. Like a bird that flew into a window at full speed. I guess.. I mean he does look like a bird, so I guess he had hollow bones. Which means that first explosion must have... I'm gonna be sick. He seemed so nice, too. Thankfully the Sharkman and the Octopus seemed to have taken that a little better, squishy bodies I guess probably helps with shock absorption.
"INTERNAL BREACH DETECTED. INTRUDERS DETECTED. RED ALERT. RED ALERT. INTRUDERS-"
I get the point, and immediately begin shutting out the AI voice. Of course this happens. Textbook sci-fi. First contact interrupted by some kind of violent enemy. What is it? Soldiers? Don't tell me they came out here as explorers in the middle of some kind of Galactic warzone? No, that doctor seemed far too smart for these aliens to be naive. Must be Pirates, or maybe Mercenaries of some kind. The only question then, is why? What value could an Exploration ship hold for Pirates? Well, stupid question I guess. He also said "under the command of the Florbus Combine". Military ship. Military ships have military weapons. Of course pirates would want something like that if they got a chance, and I guess these ones decided a first-fucking-contact was theirs.
I go for the locker with my stuff, I doubt an airsoft gun is going to be helpful against space-age technology but you never know. Maybe I can use it to make a distracting noise, or maybe they won't be able to tell it isn't a real weapon and I can do some kind of bluff with it. Worst case, it's heavy- real metal. I liked the heft, and I'm sure a pirate's face probably won't. The Octopus and the Sharkman seemed to still be recovering, I guess it hit them a bit harder than I thought. But I didn't have any kind of medical expertise, especially for alien anatomy, so I didn't really bother to check on them. I smashed the glass window of the locker they put my stuff in- wasn't about to bother fiddling with some kind of locking mechanism and risk activating something.
It... didn't hurt? Its not actually glass, just some kind of thick transparent film. Really easy to break through, in fact. Tore like some kind of gel. Eh, whatever. Got my airsoft gun, wielding it as seriously as I could so any pirate that saw me might think its real and think twice before starting a gunfight. I glanced over at the Octopus, I think its name was Dr. Ruffaloo? Funny name. Its color changed, it was a shade of blue before but now its a sort of maroon color. Its.. I think those are its eyes, are locked on me. I guess it saw me get my stuff, was it really that surprising though? It wasn't exactly made of anything- oh dear god.
Light gravity, weak security locker. Someone fucking died from that toss. Is... is this a space orcs thing? Am I some kind of like, monster beast to these people? Noooo, no way. That mother fucker over there is a SHARK for fucks sake and bit like a tank to boot, ain't NO WAY I'm stronger than him. It must not have been a secure locker, I mean what kind of security locker is fucking transparent? Yes, that's it. Doc Oc over there is just scared cuz my little act is a bit too good- he did say he thought I was a soldier, so to him I'm a trained killer getting ready for my morning commute. The fake military fatigues certainly help, I think. I call out to King Shark, er, Hark Manyfred I think his name was?
"Hey, Big Guy get up. Alexa up there said we got intruders. I don't know what that disco banana you got does, but if its what I think it is we're gonna have to throw a party for the uninvited guests."
He just groaned, then looked up at me confused. Too much metaphor I guess, translator must've garbled it.
"Pick up your weapon and get ready for a fight." I corrected.
He just nodded, and seemed to take a similar stance as mine. Good, glad to know 'lieutenant' wasn't a mistranslation. At least someone here is professionally trained.
-----
I could scarcely believe my oculars. This, 'Duncan' individual just tore through a security locker as if it were made of primitive writing scrap. Not to mention the detonation, he was thrown to the wall as all of us and stood up from it like nothing happened. Even lieutenant Hark was rendered unconscious for a few moments, my brain has no functions for losing consciousness so I was sharply aware of everything that transpired. Dr. Tryn even... he... he may have been an annoying colleague, but he was a good friend. What am I going to tell his mate? I... I have to avoid thinking about it, for now. Right now we have bigger problems. If those intruders were willing to toss the vessel that fiercely, our lives are certainly the least of their concerns. Dr. Tryn was far from the only Freeana on the ship, and there's no telling how much more viscious the impact was in other parts of the vessel.
The creature, or rather, Duncan, spoke something but the Translator failed. That impact must have jumbled it a bit. What it said next, however, was crystal clear- redundant computer must have come online.
"Pick up your weapon and get ready for a fight," It said. So it IS a soldier, I knew it. Then that strange device it holds must be a weapon of some kind. Dear lord... don't tell me it fires lead projectiles like the one I extracted from it? I must warn him, if he fires something like that aboard this ship it could rip a hole to the void, or puncture a vital fuel reserve. The ship has systems for handling such occurences, but they can only do so much- especially if other events have already activated them.
I began, "Please! Do not use that weapon aboard this vessel! Such a heavy projectile will surely-"
"Oh, uh, yeah, don't worry about it. It's not real. Just a toy." It said. A toy? So... it isn't a soldier? Oh no... this is not good. That leaves Hark as the only one here capable of defending himself, and if a firefight breaks out in my medical facility it could severely damage the equipment and leave me unable to treat the wounded.
"Lieutenant! You must fight outside of this chamber! If any of my equipment is damaged in a fight, it could turn out poorly for us all!" He simply grunts and nods at me. Grobulan fighting instinct must have kicked in already, he cannot speak. It likely takes all of his willpower just to avoid turning on us- but it is precisely his extreme degree of self control that earned him his position upon this vessel, and indeed in the Florban military in general despite his people's reputation. In fact, if my suspicion is correct, Grobulan pirates tend to be very keen on explosive weaponry when it comes to naval combat. For exactly the reason that it turns the insides of any vessel struck into a bloody mess, perfect for activating their instincts and turning them into some of the most terrifying fighters in the galaxy when they inevitably board. And judging from the screams coming from the hallway, I'd say my suspicions are terribly, terribly correct.
We're all going to die.
-End of Part 1-

He is my first REAL boyfriend I’ve ever had. We’ve been dating for 2 years, met in highschool and started dating after graduating. I feel like our entire relationship has just been mediocre. My parents were not keen to him at first, not because he did anything but because he was a boy, and now absolutely love him. They have the ‘invite him out and suggest I tag along’ type of love. All my friends like being around him. He cares about me. We have plans for the future together. I should be happy right? But I feel like the longer we’re together the less effort he puts into us. He loves reading and writing but has only written one thing for me, when I’ve made so much art for him and use him as my muse and he says how much he appreciates me but I want the same effort. I have planned all of our big dates that don’t involve staying at home or being local. Every single time we have spent the night out of town was because of my plans. Which I have talked to him about but he still barely asks me to hang out and when we do it’s because I ask. And he is always happy to hang out. I have never been shut down by him and we end up having a good time but I want him to plan some things. When we talk about things that are bothering me he just tells me he’s sorry and is quiet and doesn’t genuinely LISTEN or ask questions. When we were getting into some childhood stuff and I was asking about him he told me he wish i asked him more about himself so I put an effort into asking more about him but then he tells me “I like that you just tell me and I don’t have to ask”. So now I limit the infodumping bc that just hurt me a little extra for some reason. The only things he brings up for conversation is movies, games, and music we never get past anything surface level unless I bring it up. I tell him i love physical touch and him running his hands through my hair and I do what I would want for him too just to lead by example. When he says it’s nice I would hint more that I enjoy it too. Nothing. I tell him I love calling, I call him all the time and he always answers but I tell him if called me some more too it would be nice. Nothing so I slow down on our calls now we don’t call at all. Little things like this happen over and over again and he never listens. He’s also my first 👀 and our bedroom life is just as mediocre for me. It’s not like he doesn’t try for my pleasure he just doesn’t listen to what turns me on and what I want, he goes above and beyond on what he thinks I would like? All these little things are adding up and I really don’t know how to work on this with him. I also don’t know if I’m just in my head and overthinking things. Am I right to be frustrated with this or are there any things I can do to work on our relationship? Are we just not compatible anymore? If so how do I even go about that??
tldr: I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t put enough effort into me or am I just freaking for no reason? I’m in too deep send help

TLDR: I wish the site would feature and recommend better bots. And also, there's no subtle of saying this, so... I really wish my bots would get more attention and people talk to them.
.
First, sorry for the essay, I'm very embarrassed to be posting this, but I've been meaning to talk about this for a while now. Thing is... I'm starting to lose interest. I really like what I do, creating bots, researching, writing, creating stuff in general and see people enjoy them. My favorite thing was making a bot and then checking my profile afterwards from time to time to see the bot's message count rising. And with all modesty, I believe my bots are genuinely good, because I put effort into them, giving them complete and accurate descriptions and creative greetings. But since I started using Figgs months ago, I always saw my bots, as well as many good bots from other creators, losing their visibility and attention to other bots just because they're featured on the main page.
And man, just take a look at the 'popular' tab. The most popular bot on the whole site has 2 WORDS for description and 2 WORDS for greeting! I can't help but feel frustrated about that, because those bots aren't featured because they're popular, they're popular because they're featured. Because they're the first thing people show when opening Figgs. And the 'popular' tab have been showing the same old bots for MONTHS, ever since I first met Figgs, the most popular bot being the two words description one and the second one being just a huge ass as the avatar.
So unlucky creators like me can only depend on people searching for a character to MAYBE talk to their bots, that is if somebody else hasn't already made an extremely fetishized bot for that character, which will make it appear on top because it has more messages because it was made first. And listen, I know that the very idea of Figgs is giving users a space with no restrictions at all, and I am in NO WAY saying bots like those should be banned or anything. Even my bots can be used for all purposes, I really don't mind. But try to understand my side a bit, and consider that even bots with the purpose of exploring an extreme scenario or fetish CAN still be good and well made, and if they are, they should get attention. But that often isn't what happens on the site.
And lately, I don't know if it's some malfunction on the message count (because the message count did have an issue like that once), but I feel like my bots get stuck on around 1 to 1,5k messages some time after being made and my own messages don't add to their count (like they used to). It's been weeks since I don't see any relevant growth in my characters' message count, and it wasn't like that before. Either that's a bug or, most likely, people simply don't talk to my bots at all. Because like I said, they're not given proper visibility. I still have 10+ characters planned on a list, but I simply couldn't find the motivation to make them yet and I've been less and less invested on Figgs due to that and the ai's constant instabilities and bugs.
I just pointed all that out because I see so much potential in Figgs, so please don't hate me or feel offended by anything I might've said. I'm not trying to sell myself better than anyone, just help fixing something that is clearly a problem. How to solve it? I don't know, maybe uptading the featured tabs regularly? Handpicking the bots that will be displayed there? Chosing bots of characters who you know that are popular on media in general?

Hello everyone! I'm a student from Italy who is currently writing a research thesis for my master's degree about Chinese investments in African countries, the core of the the research will be those investments' economic and environmental sustainability.
If you feel you have something to say about it, I prepared a very short multiple-answers questionnaire. I'll be really thankful if you can help me by filling it with your opinions :)
Here is the link:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdBRitVBtnto2G2t31628AXk2x42-e2jlg6LvrBkq_fvWcKbA/viewform?usp=sf_link
Thank you very much :)

This is my first time writing here. I want to bring it here because I posted somewhere else and it was helpful but maybe not the best place. So maybe I can get more from this discourse?
I’ve explored the idea of how sometimes people can end up exploring homosexuality because of trauma or whatever. The mind is a trickster.
I grew up in a family that was very respectful in general, but my aunts would always make sex jokes about how men were this sexual objects with huge dicks and they loved their six packs and they would cackle amongst themselves. I was very shy, the mommy type, and my cousins were older… so I hung out around my mom and aunts as a child. (Grew up without a father figure so you get the picture.) Slowly, as a five year old, I remember I started to be very curious about other guys, older cousins, friends, etc. I felt very insecure about myself. Now thinking about it, I would stuff toys in my underwear and it made me feel better. Don’t judge me. lol
Anyway, I never really knew why I was doing those things and why I was having those feelings. I obviously wasn’t interested sexually ‘cuz I was a literal child. But those feelings of inadequacy never really left. I had girl crushes, and because I grew up with women I was very in-tuned with my feelings… so I was always the best friend. Later in middle school, I was the “gay guy” unbeknownst to me at this point. There was this girl I had a huge crush on but I was dumb and shy so never knew how to behave. Then I found out I was called gay so I was very hurt, but like… “huh. I didn’t know that.” (Girls in school are really hurtful sometimes.)
Then I found porn and the fact that I could pleasure myself, so I was doing that... Here is when, thinking about it, things kinda clicked for me. I was paying attention to the dudes because their bodies were so perfect and their penises were bigger and manly… and I was chubby and insecure and such an average size. I think I was envious? But I never stopped watching. Then I started watching gay porn. It wasn’t foreign and I knew how the bodies worked. lol And then I was like, yeah, maybe I’m just gay! Huzzah! And I started to just keep indulging on that.
Then I found a community, I stopped paying attention to girls, and focused on this brand new identity. I knew I was not being very Christian about it, so I decided I was not interested in following the word... however, My experiences always ended up very lackluster. I thought I was in love with this guy, and maybe I was, but sexually— I wasn’t there unless I was high off my mind. I remember one day I told him how I thought I was straight, cuz I never felt fulfilled… he laughed at me so I did too. Things ended and I started separating myself from the LGBT community.
In conclusion, I’m just really thinking about this whole thing. What do you make of it?? I think I’m very much looking for that ideal man that I can’t find in myself.
I still feel insecure about my body. I’m working towards it, but now I’m on my late twenties and I feel like I’m a virgin all over again. If I’m even considering being with a girl— so that gives me anxiety when thinking about approaching girls. Im very much afraid of trying or maybe doing that and not being into it and breaking her heart lol
The point of this is how could I overcome that underlying envy? Or discomfort with my size? Which isn’t even that bad, but still makes me feel like I’m not enough.

I was put in a situation where when buying a CPO 22 3 series the finance manager at the dealer offered me a better interest rate 1.57 % in exchange for buying a $5,000 3 year warranty. I complained to the sales manager at the dealership saying that this was tied selling and it was slimy. I got the usual BS response. I went ahead with the warranty knowing that I would most likely be able to cancel the warranty and I wanted to take advantage of the better interest rate which wasn't a huge difference but adds up over a 5 year term on a $40,000 car. Of course the dealer only gave me the first page of the warranty contract which didn't include all the conditions including terms on how to cancel. I had 30 days to cancel. Of course, this might be different for each company so check the terms and conditions.
I contacted the 3rd party organization which handles extended warranties for BMW Canada asking for a full copy of the contract and terms and conditions. They sent me a form I had to fill out which of course required a signature from the dealership. I knew from reading forums on here and basic logic why would the dealership want to sign the form as they were going to lose the commission. I would get the run runaround and the next thing I know the 30 days is up.
I had a friend who is also a reasonably priced lawyer look into and drafted the following letter. I am posting this to help others who are being taken advantage by dealers who might not have the means to contact a lawyer. This is not considered legal advice and specifics may be different depending who you are dealing with and where you live but will give you an idea of what language to use and what specific clauses of the contract to reference.
It also good if you could get in writing from the dealership that somehow they are getting you a better rate in exchange of the sales of a product. Some dealers may be smarter than that, but mine wasn't. Make sure you keep that as evidence in case you need to for the future.
Some information has been removed but you should be able to get the idea. Now I feel like you could get away with this without having it come from a lawyer, as long as you seem confident enough about what you are talking about they should back down.
They of course denied that it was tied selling, but offered to refund the amount. Good luck and hopefully this is helpful.
Dear SiMadam,
I am writing to you on behalf of my client, XXXX, concerning the BMW Mechanical
Breakdown Protection Plan (the "Plan") he purchased on XXX for his XXX BMW 3 Series
vehicle.
It has come to our attention that XXXXX was promised a lower interest rate on his vehicle
financing contingent upon his purchase of the Plan. This condition is in direct violation of the terms
explicitly stated in the contract, which assert that the purchase of the Plan is optional and will not affect
the conditions of the credit approval process. Specifically, the contract states:
"THE PURCHASE OF THIS VEHICLE SERVICE CONTRACT IS OPTIONAL AND WILL NOT BE A FACTOR IN THE
PURCHASE/LEASE PROCESS OR THE CREDIT APPROVAL PROCESS. NEITHER THE EXTENSION OF CREDIT,
THE TERMS OF THE CREDIT NOR THE TERMS OF THE RELATED MOTOR VEHICLE SALE OR LEASE MAY BE
CONDITIONED UPON THE PURCHASE OF THIS CONTRACT."
Given this misrepresentation, XXXXX is entitled to a full refund of the Plan's purchase price of
XXX, totaling XXXX, without any fees or penalties. We request
that this refund be issued promptly by cheque payable to XXXXX in trust.
Please consider this letter a formal demand for the immediate cancellation of the Plan and the issuance
of a full refund. Mr. XXXX contract number is XXX, and his vehicle's VIN is
XXXX
We expect your prompt response and action regarding this matter. The payment can be made by
cheque mailed to my office at XXXX , or via wire transfer,
through bank information I will provide upon request.
Please note that if the refund is not issued within 30 days, we may consider taking legal action.
Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter.

Introduction: When the teachers are many the line is confused; when laws are issued crime is born. Though curing sickness where there is no sickness may be extreme kindness, how does going by the rule where there is a rule preclude citing a story?
 

Case:

Fayan pointed to a blind. ¹

Two monks got up and went at the same time and rolled up the blind. ²

Fayan said, "One gain, one loss." ³

1. Don't say you don't know, don't say you don't see.
2. They walk the same but don't step the same.
3. He divides the body under the sword.

 
Commentary: Before the noon meal, Fayan went up to a meeting. He pointed to a blind, and two monks both went to roll up the blind.
Fayan said, "One gain, one loss."
Dongshan Ji said, "Elders, how do you understand? Some say that because they didn't understand the message they immediately went and rolled up the blind.
Also some say that the one he directed understood, but the one who went without being directed lost.
How could it be possible to understand in this way?
Since you can't understand in this way, I ask you elders, which one's gained, which one's lost?
I say, "washing a clod of earth in mud".
This is not only Fayan.
One day Nanquan said to a monk, "Quite a wind last night."
The monk also said, "Quite a wind last night."
Nanquan said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
The monk also said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
Nanquan next said to another monk, "Quite a wind last night."
The monk said, "What wind?"
Nanquan said, "It blew over a pine in front of the gate."
The monk said, "What pine?"
Nanquan said, "One gain, one loss."
The story of pointing at the blind absolutely has a strategy for helping people. The two monks rolled up the blind--on the part of the people involved, there are naturally two paths;
Fayan first gave a seal that sealed fast and never moved--on the part of Fayan, light and dark intermingle, with killing and enlivening action.
The sphere of great being; the universally wise know.
Everywhere they consider detachment from gain and loss and forgetting right and wrong to be superior; [but] Fayan runs right into the ocean of right and wrong, into the pit of gain and loss, and makes a living there--in sum, someone without gain or loss can determine the gain and loss everywhere in the world.
In my commenting like this too there is gain and loss; in your coming here too there is gain and loss; only those with profound insight into the point of advantage or disadvantage can compare their benefit or loss.
As this is called a case of being in the present, there is no need to bother to reexamine it, but because he couldn't flatly settle it, he couldn't avoid bringing on Tiantong's suit: the verse says:
 

Pines are straight, brambles are crooked; cranes are tall, ducks are short. ¹

In the age of the ancient emperors, people forgot about both government and anarchy. ²

Such peace--a hidden dragon in the abyss; ³

Such freedom--a soaring bird sheds its tether. ⁴

Nothing can be done about the Patriarch's coming from the West-- ⁵

Within, gain and loss are half and half. ⁶

Reeds go along with the wind, turning in the air, ⁷

The boat cuts off the flow and reaches the shore. ⁸

Spiritually sharp mendicant here, Observe Fayan's method. ⁹

1. Can't move it.
2. The gourds, picked up and dug into, are ripe.
3. Even the Buddha's eye looking cannot see.
4. The gaze cannot reach it.
5. The top beam isn't straight.
6. The pillars below are uneven.
7. Active consciousness chaotic, there's no basis to rely on.
8. Going downstream full sail, it's so fast it's hard to catch.
9. A drunk railing on the corner--who would take him seriously.
10. I too have some here, but it's rare to meet a suitable person.

 
Commentary: The ancients couldn't help but give the forced name "the fundamental lot"--"Pines are straight, brambles are crooked, herons are white, ravens are black"; this originally comes from the Heroic March Scripture--Tiantong changes it to "Cranes are tall, ducks are short."
Zhuangzi said, "The long do not have excess, the short are not lacking; therefore, though ducks' legs are short, they'll be miserable if you add to them, and though cranes' legs are long, they'll be unhappy if you cut them off."
A proverb says, "If you want to avoid misery, rely on your own lot."
Would it be only the people in the age of the ancient emperors who forgot about both government and anarchy?
Confucius said, "In the West there is a great sage--he doesn't govern and yet there is no anarchy."
"Government and anarchy" refer to "gain and loss."
The Third Patriarch said, "Gain and loss, right and wrong--let go of them all at once."
In the qian hexagram of the Book of Changes, in the first nine it says, "Hidden dragon--don't act."
In nine in the fourth place it says, "Sometimes it leaps in the abyss."
In the Record of the Platform of the Chin Dynasty it says that Wang Cizhong, while young, changed Cangjie's ancient symbols into the classical form of writing Chinese characters.
The first emperor of Chin called for him, but he didn't come.
The emperor, angry, had him imprisoned in a cage on a cart and taken to Chin.
On the way, Wang turned into a bird, shed his bonds and flew away.
As he reached West Mountain he dropped two quills: in Guiquan district there is a huge mortar stone--that's the place.
This eulogizes the way of high qntiquity, its provenance and treasury of deeds, each resting in its own lot.
Before the Buddha appeared in the world there were not so many scriptures, treatises, and public cases--when the Patriarch came from the West, then there was gain and loss.
Why not comprehend before the pointing to the screen?
"Reeds go along with the wind, turning in the air, the boat cuts off the flow and reaches the shore."
These two lines mark out the gain and loss of the two monks.
Tiantong here has great effect; it is not easy to say this. If one has not the ability to bring people to life, how could one be able to kill people?
For this reason Tiantong also said, "Spiritually-sharp mendicants here, observe Fayan's method."
Tell me, based on what law can he say so?
Wait till you've been hit, then I'll tell you.

This is gonna be such a long one. I'm doing this for myself because I'm hoping writing this all out will help me with my intense feelings of anger and betrayal I suppose.
I'm currently 33 years old, I'm a mother of two and I have a beautiful husband. I have struggled emotionally for as long as I can remember, tantrums as a child, lots of mainly feeling invalid and honestly just unloved. My dad was always a source of care, my mother was not so much. I never genuinely felt she liked me as a human, she wanted to conform me but I am a rebel and it didn't work. I experienced the brunt of abuse, besides excessive spankings, soap in the mouth, and the occasional slap to the face it was usually just verbal abuse. My brother (the golden child) and my father (left my mom when I was 9 or 10) have both told me she was abusive to me when I was younger and they both feel bad for more or less allowing things. I.e. I did something and needed a spanking, she would go to town and my dad would have to pull her off me. Simple shit like that.
Fast forward - Dad announces he can no longer be with her anymore. I remember she belittled him often and made him feel like nothing. She would make fun of him and make digs, also I think why I rebelled because I loved and love my dad very much. When dad leaves she removes all our family pictures from the walls and cuts herself in front of me and my brother. An ambulance was called and she was hospitalized for a week or so. I have blacked a lot of it out I think, but me and brother stayed with relatives during this time. When she was sent home she was very depressed and stayed in her room for years more or less, id sit there with her rubbing her back, stroking her hair, at 10 I no longer went outside to play with friends. I developed pretty bad anxiety at this time, I no longer could sleep over at friends houses because I really worried she would die and I needed to take care of her. At 12 everything changed for me. I met a boy who showed me attention. He was a POS. He would pressure me into sexual activities and make threats if I didn't do them. He would have his ex girlfriends call me on the phone and tell me how ugly I was. He told the whole school I was a slut. My mom took my door off my bedroom, punished me endlessly, I just wanted affection. Soon enough (yes at 12) he promised me he'd love me if I gave in and had sex. I caved. It hurt. I told him to stop, he continued for a minute and then laughed at me and threw the condom in my face. He spread rumors about me, my friends picked his side, and when I told him we had had sex he denied and said no that didn't happen that wasn't sex. After that, I had sex with anyone who wanted to. There was no fucking point anymore, it was the closest thing to love I was going to feel. I went on chatrooms and webcams (still at 12) with many pedophiles and showed them my body. They asked, they received.
In my teenage years I bounced back and forth between mom and dads houses. I didn't really care about anyone because clearly people didn't care about me. My mom medicated me from 12 and up, she claimed I was bi polar and that's why I was "acting out". Her and my brother often teamed up on me, I became the classic scapegoat as I had already given the ammo to her. She could smear me everywhere and be pitied by everyone for having a whore of a daughter.
Drugs started at 14, mainly weed and alcohol. Ecstasy soon after and then most other drugs you can imagine.
Fast far forward I met a guy at 19 who treated me shitty enough for me to deem him the perfect one. I was loyal for ten years and birthed our child, he apparently was cheating the entire time with men and women.
I now am where I am today and I am so thankful I am here. I am in a loving relationship with a man who actually gives a fuck about me. I almost messed it all up because I didn't know what his hidden agenda was, why was he so nice. Why did he care and most of all why the fuck did he choose me to love.
I have always been on and off with talking to my mom. I have her at a distance currently but I want to cut her out entirely.
She has made many apologies over the years but never anything specific.
Most times I've talked to her it circles back to her and how depressed she is and why her life sucks. She manages to blame a lot of it on other people, she is very entitled and uses people for her personal gain. She is currently living with a friend free of charge and bitches constantly about the living conditions and whatnot but she refuses to work. She lived with my brother briefly, I love him but he is her enabler, he finally told her enough was enough he has a studio apartment for gods sake he is in his thirties. She threw a tantrum and threw her dresser down his stairs and took a hammer to it like a psychopath.
She would not speak to her mother for years as an adult, my grandma died this year. On my grandma's death bed she called my mother and told her she sounded good, my mom then went into detail about how her life sucks and how bad she is doing, grandma died the next day.
The last straw for me was six months ago, I gave birth to my second child. She knew previously with my first I didn't want anyone announcing the birth until I had. After all me and my husband just waited nine months, we would like to be the ones sharing that excitement. I'm probably a fucking idiot because I sent her a picture when he was born, she posted it on social media and sent it to a family group chat. I told her that was uncool and please remove it, she removed it but never once has apologized.
My entire life she has ALWAYS been the victim. No matter what happens, she will shame people for drinking alcohol but she herself has a DUI and apparently was always bringing alcohol places and drinking in privacy. She would shame me for how much I ate, I was always skinny she was not. She eats in private and shames people who eat in public. She would make comments about my body, my lack of curves. She at 18 told me she hated how I dressed and somehow convinced me to give her money to shop for me. She would try to control what I ate, what I spent money on, and anything and everything else that she could.
Look this is long I can't imagine anyone would wanna read this shitshow. I am looking for responses though. I need to sever ties but I'm feeling guilt. She is my mom, she is the grandma to my kids.
My brother and her are enmeshed, I love him dearly though, I know he will fall victim to her personal victimization and view me in a bad light. I believe other family members will as well.
I always thought she may have BPD but this week I began studying about covert narcissists, I realize the symptoms are so close together it's more what's at the core that determines what's what. I would love opinions, advice, any commentary to be honest.
Thanks for the read. I have a lot to work on myself, I'm very flawed. I have had a lot of narcissistic traits myself growing up and I realize this now and feel very bad for not caring about others in situations. I can only change who I am moving forward though so I'm trying really hard to do that.