4th grade writing test practice pdf
Pre-pharmacy: Getting Info, Getting In, Getting Acclimated
2014.03.19 16:53 spazzyjessie Pre-pharmacy: Getting Info, Getting In, Getting Acclimated
A great new place to share stories, gain insight, request assistance, and share feedback throughout the journey to pharmacy school.
2014.08.13 02:10 Njdevils11 A Place for Reading Teachers
This sub reddit is for literacy teachers to share strategies, tips, pitfalls, and successes. All teachers are welcome, but this sub is dedicated to teaching emerging and elementary literacy skills.
2024.04.29 01:50 ValueInTheVoid Insight #1: Good Timber - We Humans are Antifragile
Good Timber by Douglas Malloch
The tree that never had to fightFor sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.
_______________________
If a tree does not encounter enough wind as it grows, it will eventually collapse under its own weight. Its roots simply won’t grow deep enough to maintain structural integrity as it ages.
Trees fight for the light they get in the forest. They also have to be strategic in their pursuit. If they maximize their branch growth too early, they experience arrested height growth, and fail to reach the canopy above. This often happens if the tree experiences too much light too early in its grown trajectory. The tree becomes content with what light it already gets, and so it stops reaching upward. It gives up on the struggle, and spreads it branches at its earliest convenience. It’s early good fortune robs it of its ability to fulfill its potential. It mistakenly assumes its current position is its peak. It fails to realize, brighter days await it, if it only continues to fight upwards towards the sky.
Those trees that ultimately peak above the canopy, and obtain the greatest light exposure, are the ones strategic enough to refuse complacency at its earliest beckoning. Often times, its able to do this, because it was never given an over abundance of light during its stressful journey upwards. Some light along the path is necessary, but too much light, given too early, can seduce the tree into abandoning its struggle to the top. The forest kings needs to experience sufficient darkness. They need to be made to fight for the light. Stopping can’t be an options. For if it were to do so, it would mean death. All the way up, is the only viable path. Straight through the darkness is the only way out.
Here I’ll be explain the Core Concept that We Humans Are Antifragile. I’ll break this into four parts. First, I’ll introduce the property of antifragility. Second, I’ll explain how antifragile systems need to be challenged during development. Third, I’ll cover how easy success can result in a weak foundation. And fourth, I will address how good fortune and easy times can cause the systems regression and undoing.
We Humans are Antifragile.
1. Antifragility is the property of a system in which it requires stress, pressure, failure, and adversity, in order for it to actualize its capacities and capabilities.- Bones are antifragile. If they don’t undergo enough stress during their development, they’ll remain weak and brittle. They’ll break easily.
- As I just described, many species of tree are anti-fragile, and require the strain of wind to develop the strength to bear their own weight. The more storms a tree survived during its growth, the deeper its roots.
- Some trees require stifled light exposure in order for them to breach the canopy above.
- Civilization is antifragile. It requires repetitive failures and mistakes, in order for it to learn the wisest laws and develop the infrastructure to support its growth. It requires attacks upon it, and hardship, such that it learns to defend itself, repair itself, and satisfy its own demands. For the civilization to learn, failure and hardship is required.
- These are each examples of antifragility. And we humans follow this same principle.
- Antifragile systems need to be challenged during development.
- This is why helicopter parenting and being overly protective of your child can be so damaging to the child’s maturation.
- If a child isn’t allowed to limit test reality and themselves, they have no chance of becoming formidable adults. They’ll remain spineless, skidding, unable to bravely confront the challenges of adulthood.
- They’ll remain naive, lacking the direct experience of life’s dangers. They won’t have the understand of how to skillfully handle themselves when faced with genuine threats.
- The children that grow to be the most cunning and capable of handling themselves, are the ones that were allowed to roam the world with minimal oversight. They were allowed to learn from direct experience.
- This phenomenon is commonly delineated as having street-smarts, opposed to book smarts. Knowledge isn’t sufficient. Direct experience is mandatory.
- Facing real threats, real adversity, real suffering, and overcoming it on one’s own. This is a necessary per-requisite to a fully developed individual
- It’s often the case in many domains, those who are most naturally talented become stunted in their growth once they reach the point at which they must strain for improvement.
- In his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, the Zen mast Shunryu Suzuki explains how in calligraphy, its usually the students that are most naturally skillful that ultimately hit a mental wall they can’t surpass. This is because their hands were too cleaver from the beginning. They never had to learn the practice deeply, the success came too easily for them. They didn’t have to work for it. Once they reach the point at which they had to strain, they become discouraged. They couldn’t account for what allowed them to learn before, and not now. They had never learned the skill of overcoming struggle. They didn’t understand the level of hard work necessary for the full actualization of their potential. They then often quit.
- Where as those students that were bad from the beginning. Struggle was all they knew. And so at no point, do they hit a wall that they aren’t willing to patiently face and overcome. They already understood what greatness would cost them. And they had already decided long ago that they were willing to pay it. But the ones that learned too quick, never realized what they were in for. The force with which that sudden realization hits them, cause them to break.
- Gifted children who aren’t sufficiently challenged in education can follow this same trajectory towards failure. Often floundering and falling apart in higher level course work that actually requires them to put their nose to the grindstone and fight for their grades. They never developed the skill of rigorous study, as they’d never had to do it prior. This sudden and unfamiliar strain can cause them to fall apart when the stakes are the highest.
- When success comes to easily, the growth is porous and fragile. The bone that grows in low gravity grows easily, but lacks the density. The student that effortlessly passes through school never really develops deep learning. They might climb high, but until they dig deep, they will lack true mastery of the subjects. It’s like a tower built on toothpicks.
- As discussed earlier, some trees will stop their upward growth prematurely, if they are lucky enough to hit a overly substantial patch of sun-rays while being far below the canopy. Luck would have it that they were positioned just right upon sprouting from the ground, that an abundance of light was available to them amid the low branches of greater trees. They’re content to remain nestled there, far below their ultimate potential.
- This similar dynamic plays out with humans. Often times, when people reach a sufficiently comfortable life, they ease off. The desire for self-growth diminishes. They nestle in. They soften. And if catastrophe strikes, and more is required of them than usual, they crumble. As they never developed themselves beyond what was necessary to sustain their current altitude.
- Even entire societies face this dilemma. We’re all familiar with the notion that Hard times make for great men. Great men make for easy times. Easy times make for weak men. Weak men make for hard times. And the cycle repeats. When we’re no longer fighting upwards, we begin to lose the skill of fighting. And in time, we will begin move backwards. We will regress.
- When an individual wins the lottery, it can often times be the worst thing that ever happened to them. That’s because, an undeveloped person winning the lottery, is like a deep sea fishes being pulled up to sea-level. Many deep-sea fishes require tons of external pressure to maintain their bodies form and structural integrity. Without that pressure, they literally implode and die. That’s how humans work. If a person hasn’t developed themselves, and formed the skill of self-imposed strain and adversity, they will be destroyed when all external pressure is removed from your life.
- Because the truth is, humans atrophy from a lack of challenge and hard work. Unless we are pushing our limits, we are moving backwards.
- Humans operate like bicycles. When in motion, remaining upright is relatively easy. When at a stand still, toppling over is just a matter of time.
2024.04.29 01:38 ValueInTheVoid [Meta] Insight #1: Good Timber - We Humans are Antifragile
Good Timber by Douglas Malloch
The tree that never had to fightFor sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life. ______________________________
If a tree does not encounter enough wind as it grows, it will eventually collapse under its own weight. Its roots simply won’t grow deep enough to maintain structural integrity as it ages.
Trees fight for the light they get in the forest. They also have to be strategic in their pursuit. If they maximize their branch growth too early, they experience arrested height growth, and fail to reach the canopy above. This often happens if the tree experiences too much light too early in its grown trajectory. The tree becomes content with what light it already gets, and so it stops reaching upward. It gives up on the struggle, and spreads it branches at its earliest convenience. It’s early good fortune robs it of its ability to fulfill its potential. It mistakenly assumes its current position is its peak. It fails to realize, brighter days await it, if it only continues to fight upwards towards the sky.
Those trees that ultimately peak above the canopy, and obtain the greatest light exposure, are the ones strategic enough to refuse complacency at its earliest beckoning. Often times, its able to do this, because it was never given an over abundance of light during its stressful journey upwards. Some light along the path is necessary, but too much light, given too early, can seduce the tree into abandoning its struggle to the top. The forest kings needs to experience sufficient darkness. They need to be made to fight for the light. Stopping can’t be an options. For if it were to do so, it would mean death. All the way up, is the only viable path. Straight through the darkness is the only way out.
Here I’ll be explain the Core Concept that We Humans Are Antifragile. I’ll break this into four parts. First, I’ll introduce the property of antifragility. Second, I’ll explain how antifragile systems need to be challenged during development. Third, I’ll cover how easy success can result in a weak foundation. And fourth, I will address how good fortune and easy times can cause the systems regression and undoing.
We Humans are Antifragile.
1. Antifragility is the property of a system in which it requires stress, pressure, failure, and adversity, in order for it to actualize its capacities and capabilities.- Bones are antifragile. If they don’t undergo enough stress during their development, they’ll remain weak and brittle. They’ll break easily.
- As I just described, many species of tree are anti-fragile, and require the strain of wind to develop the strength to bear their own weight. The more storms a tree survived during its growth, the deeper its roots.
- Some trees require stifled light exposure in order for them to breach the canopy above.
- Civilization is antifragile. It requires repetitive failures and mistakes, in order for it to learn the wisest laws and develop the infrastructure to support its growth. It requires attacks upon it, and hardship, such that it learns to defend itself, repair itself, and satisfy its own demands. For the civilization to learn, failure and hardship is required.
- These are each examples of antifragility. And we humans follow this same principle.
- Antifragile systems need to be challenged during development.
- This is why helicopter parenting and being overly protective of your child can be so damaging to the child’s maturation.
- If a child isn’t allowed to limit test reality and themselves, they have no chance of becoming formidable adults. They’ll remain spineless, skidding, unable to bravely confront the challenges of adulthood.
- They’ll remain naive, lacking the direct experience of life’s dangers. They won’t have the understand of how to skillfully handle themselves when faced with genuine threats.
- The children that grow to be the most cunning and capable of handling themselves, are the ones that were allowed to roam the world with minimal oversight. They were allowed to learn from direct experience.
- This phenomenon is commonly delineated as having street-smarts, opposed to book smarts. Knowledge isn’t sufficient. Direct experience is mandatory.
- Facing real threats, real adversity, real suffering, and overcoming it on one’s own. This is a necessary per-requisite to a fully developed individual
- It’s often the case in many domains, those who are most naturally talented become stunted in their growth once they reach the point at which they must strain for improvement.
- In his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, the Zen mast Shunryu Suzuki explains how in calligraphy, its usually the students that are most naturally skillful that ultimately hit a mental wall they can’t surpass. This is because their hands were too cleaver from the beginning. They never had to learn the practice deeply, the success came too easily for them. They didn’t have to work for it. Once they reach the point at which they had to strain, they become discouraged. They couldn’t account for what allowed them to learn before, and not now. They had never learned the skill of overcoming struggle. They didn’t understand the level of hard work necessary for the full actualization of their potential. They then often quit.
- Where as those students that were bad from the beginning. Struggle was all they knew. And so at no point, do they hit a wall that they aren’t willing to patiently face and overcome. They already understood what greatness would cost them. And they had already decided long ago that they were willing to pay it. But the ones that learned too quick, never realized what they were in for. The force with which that sudden realization hits them, cause them to break.
- Gifted children who aren’t sufficiently challenged in education can follow this same trajectory towards failure. Often floundering and falling apart in higher level course work that actually requires them to put their nose to the grindstone and fight for their grades. They never developed the skill of rigorous study, as they’d never had to do it prior. This sudden and unfamiliar strain can cause them to fall apart when the stakes are the highest.
- When success comes to easily, the growth is porous and fragile. The bone that grows in low gravity grows easily, but lacks the density. The student that effortlessly passes through school never really develops deep learning. They might climb high, but until they dig deep, they will lack true mastery of the subjects. It’s like a tower built on toothpicks.
- As discussed earlier, some trees will stop their upward growth prematurely, if they are lucky enough to hit a overly substantial patch of sun-rays while being far below the canopy. Luck would have it that they were positioned just right upon sprouting from the ground, that an abundance of light was available to them amid the low branches of greater trees. They’re content to remain nestled there, far below their ultimate potential.
- This similar dynamic plays out with humans. Often times, when people reach a sufficiently comfortable life, they ease off. The desire for self-growth diminishes. They nestle in. They soften. And if catastrophe strikes, and more is required of them than usual, they crumble. As they never developed themselves beyond what was necessary to sustain their current altitude.
- Even entire societies face this dilemma. We’re all familiar with the notion that Hard times make for great men. Great men make for easy times. Easy times make for weak men. Weak men make for hard times. And the cycle repeats. When we’re no longer fighting upwards, we begin to lose the skill of fighting. And in time, we will begin move backwards. We will regress.
- When an individual wins the lottery, it can often times be the worst thing that ever happened to them. That’s because, an undeveloped person winning the lottery, is like a deep sea fishes being pulled up to sea-level. Many deep-sea fishes require tons of external pressure to maintain their bodies form and structural integrity. Without that pressure, they literally implode and die. That’s how humans work. If a person hasn’t developed themselves, and formed the skill of self-imposed strain and adversity, they will be destroyed when all external pressure is removed from your life.
- Because the truth is, humans atrophy from a lack of challenge and hard work. Unless we are pushing our limits, we are moving backwards.
- Humans operate like bicycles. When in motion, remaining upright is relatively easy. When at a stand still, toppling over is just a matter of time.
2024.04.29 01:38 Bad_Drivers_of_Napa My mother-in-law mispronounces common words to the point that it's embarrassing and frustrating
So basically, my mother-in-law constantly butchers common words and sometimes even uses the wrong word entirely. I'll get to some examples further down. She's done this her entire life and English is the only language she has ever known and spoken. She continually mispronounces words or uses the wrong ones even right after hearing other people say them correctly, which is baffling to me. When my wife and I try to correct her mispronunciations, she either gets angry and says, "Well, that's just the way I talk! It's my accent!", or she rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever.", then goes right back to her mispronunciations. It's embarrassing at times being with her out in public or in social situations when she's with us and talking to other people because she's very outspoken, talks a lot to everyone and horribly butchers the English language even though that IS and always has been her only language. She graduated high school, but she's a bit illiterate and her reading ability is about on par with that of maybe a 3rd or 4th grader. She's never read a book and generally avoids reading things. She's not a very smart person in general, with probably a roughly 70 IQ if I had to guess.
My mother-in-law's mother mispronounced words too, but not as badly, and was a very ignorant person that came across as uneducated even though she also graduated from high school. My mother-in-law's father dropped out of high school to take care of his family, the family farm and then went on to join the army to fight in WW2. He had common sense smarts but not book smarts and he himself did not have the best grasp on grammar, but did not mispronounce words.
Here's where things get interesting. I recently found out that there was inbreeding in my wife's family. So, my mother-in-law's grandma had an arranged marriage with a cousin, from whom was born my mother-in-law's mom. My wife has severe dyslexia with letters, which makes reading and writing difficult for her, but not spoken language. Could the inbreeding with a cousin two generations prior, be close enough to account for my mother-in-law's low IQ and consistent inability to pronounce common words? And could that also account for my wife's dyslexia?
Now some examples of words my mother-in-law either mispronounces or substitutes the wrong words for:
"Walmark", instead of 'Walmart'
"Dimensions", instead of 'Dementia"
"Windle", instead of 'Window'
"Mural", instead of 'Mirror'
"Sectional Harassment", instead of 'Sexual Harassment'
"Melk", instead of 'Milk'
"Well", instead of 'Will'
"Yogur", instead of 'Yogurt'
"Mills Penis", instead of 'Milpitas' (I kid you not on this one! She really did say that. Milpitas is the name of a Bay Area city.
"Comparisment", instead of 'comparison'
"East", instead of 'Yeast'
"Yuge", instead of 'Huge'
"Actor Puncture", instead of 'Acupuncture'
"Fashlight", instead of 'Flashlight'
"Konkulator", instead of 'Calculator'
"Palbarian", instead of 'Pallbearer'
"Sea Auditors", instead of 'Sea Otters" (Yep, she really said that!)
"Botanion", instead of 'Botanical'
"Strainless", instead of 'Strenuous'
"Offishonal", instead of 'Efficient'
"Clock", instead of 'Clot'
"Big Locks", instead of 'Big Lots' (name of a major retailer)
"Telemarcher", instead of 'Telemarketer'
"Slum Ladder", instead of 'Slumlord'
"Clansdales", instead of 'Clydesdales'
"College Cheese", instead of 'Cottage Cheese'
"Cold Slop", instead of 'Coleslaw'
"Katherine", instead of 'Catheter"
There are MANY, Many more that I can't think of at the moment. There are so many more words that she gets wrong that it's practically in every other sentence that she pronounces something wrong. I'd love to hear your thoughts. As frustrating as this is, my wife and I get good chuckles with these butchered words. Of course, behind my mother-in-law's back and never in her presence.
It doesn't even stop there. She doesn't know "big" words either. I used the word 'sophisticated' in a sentence last week and she asked me what that word meant. I had to really simplify the definition so that she would understand it. When speaking to her I really have to withhold any words beyond a certain numbers of letters or beyond a certain level of commonality or she won't know what the word means. Even words like, 'Anomaly', 'Abhor', 'Circumvent', 'Embellish', 'Provocative', 'Transcendent', 'Prodigy'........she'd have no clue what any of those words mean. It's sad, embarrassing, mystifying, frustrating, and kinda funny all at the same time.
submitted by Bad_Drivers_of_Napa to mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments]
My mother-in-law's mother mispronounced words too, but not as badly, and was a very ignorant person that came across as uneducated even though she also graduated from high school. My mother-in-law's father dropped out of high school to take care of his family, the family farm and then went on to join the army to fight in WW2. He had common sense smarts but not book smarts and he himself did not have the best grasp on grammar, but did not mispronounce words.
Here's where things get interesting. I recently found out that there was inbreeding in my wife's family. So, my mother-in-law's grandma had an arranged marriage with a cousin, from whom was born my mother-in-law's mom. My wife has severe dyslexia with letters, which makes reading and writing difficult for her, but not spoken language. Could the inbreeding with a cousin two generations prior, be close enough to account for my mother-in-law's low IQ and consistent inability to pronounce common words? And could that also account for my wife's dyslexia?
Now some examples of words my mother-in-law either mispronounces or substitutes the wrong words for:
"Walmark", instead of 'Walmart'
"Dimensions", instead of 'Dementia"
"Windle", instead of 'Window'
"Mural", instead of 'Mirror'
"Sectional Harassment", instead of 'Sexual Harassment'
"Melk", instead of 'Milk'
"Well", instead of 'Will'
"Yogur", instead of 'Yogurt'
"Mills Penis", instead of 'Milpitas' (I kid you not on this one! She really did say that. Milpitas is the name of a Bay Area city.
"Comparisment", instead of 'comparison'
"East", instead of 'Yeast'
"Yuge", instead of 'Huge'
"Actor Puncture", instead of 'Acupuncture'
"Fashlight", instead of 'Flashlight'
"Konkulator", instead of 'Calculator'
"Palbarian", instead of 'Pallbearer'
"Sea Auditors", instead of 'Sea Otters" (Yep, she really said that!)
"Botanion", instead of 'Botanical'
"Strainless", instead of 'Strenuous'
"Offishonal", instead of 'Efficient'
"Clock", instead of 'Clot'
"Big Locks", instead of 'Big Lots' (name of a major retailer)
"Telemarcher", instead of 'Telemarketer'
"Slum Ladder", instead of 'Slumlord'
"Clansdales", instead of 'Clydesdales'
"College Cheese", instead of 'Cottage Cheese'
"Cold Slop", instead of 'Coleslaw'
"Katherine", instead of 'Catheter"
There are MANY, Many more that I can't think of at the moment. There are so many more words that she gets wrong that it's practically in every other sentence that she pronounces something wrong. I'd love to hear your thoughts. As frustrating as this is, my wife and I get good chuckles with these butchered words. Of course, behind my mother-in-law's back and never in her presence.
It doesn't even stop there. She doesn't know "big" words either. I used the word 'sophisticated' in a sentence last week and she asked me what that word meant. I had to really simplify the definition so that she would understand it. When speaking to her I really have to withhold any words beyond a certain numbers of letters or beyond a certain level of commonality or she won't know what the word means. Even words like, 'Anomaly', 'Abhor', 'Circumvent', 'Embellish', 'Provocative', 'Transcendent', 'Prodigy'........she'd have no clue what any of those words mean. It's sad, embarrassing, mystifying, frustrating, and kinda funny all at the same time.
2024.04.29 01:30 TheMrXStream My last relationship and moving forward
Hey,
I (M,currently 27) was in a relationship back from 2017 to 2020. I know it is quite some time ago but I think the situation messed me up more than I thought. I hope writing on here helps me. I honestly don’t know where to begin so I’ll just write and see what comes out
Some background: I worked at a youth camp where we were in ‘charge’ of leading groups of kids daily around attractions and activities where I met (let’s call her K) that time we were both a group leader of different groups. Me at that time being 20 and her being 19. This is where we met.
K already had 2 relationships before me which were quite abusive, she didn’t tell me straight from the start but as our relationship grew she slowly gave more details. Abuse and rape were not uncommon in those relationships and she worked up quite some traumatic experiences while she was 14-17.
During the camp, K had a kid in her group who was misbehaving quite badly, even one who threatened to bring knives next time he would come visit and when one of the kids attacked her I stepped in to hold the kid down. (This was during the moment the kids had to gather to go back home.)
Every day in the morning the kids would be picked up at a certain spot in our city and at the end of the day the busses would bring them back to those spots. Every day I would go to the camp by car, together with another coworker. He would bring us to the spot of the youth camp and we would drive back home afterwards. The final day of the week, he wanted to go grab a drink at the beach, and because her bus was missing one more bus leader, we arranged to drive with her bus.
From that moment on we talked a lot, there was a party on the last day of the camp (it’s only there for 3 weeks a year during summer holiday) and she asked if she could go with us by car. After the party I drove everyone back home and took her home last. She was prepared for having a ONS, even though my intentions were more than that, we talked till late at night/early in the morning and the next day she would leave towards her parents vacation home in France.
During her holiday in France we talked daily and grew quite close. She had some things she didn’t want to tell me about, like her exes, but after a couple of weeks she came back and we planned to go for a walk, she lived close to the beach. After a couple months and dates, we started to become official bf/gf.
Things started off great even though K was quite insecure. I tried my best to be there for her at every moment she needed it, and quite soon after becoming official she was getting some health issues. After some blood tests, she was very scared of and I always went with her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with a couple of viruses.
Long story short, she was tired a lot, had pain in her entire body without any cause, stuff like that.
I was feeling really bad for her, so much so that I quit my studies and was there to support her at any step of the way. Even though the illnesses she had were untreatable. (I never told her she was the reason, I told her it was because I didn’t like the study.)
Our relationship had ups and downs, because of her traumatic experiences she wasn’t always feeling alright without our relationship.
She always said she had to get used to being treated well because she never had that. By the way, whenever we had sex I made sure to prioritise her over myself so she wouldn’t feel like it was forced and I really had to teach her to please herself (she also never masturbated before me, as that was difficult for her due to her past)
Our relationship grew and we go to know each others families but she still had problem commiting, she was broken before and I tried to give her space and tell her that I was ‘the real deal’ and was there because I loved her. There were times where she was having commitment issues. (At the start of the relationship I also told her I didn’t want to force her but I really started to have feelings and didn’t know what to do with that because I knew about her commitment issues.)
Her past of being SA and forced to do things she didn’t want to continued to play some part in our relationship at times of her insecurities and doubts.
Things went wrong at the same youth camp some time later, in the summer of 2019. (In 2018 she got a promotion to leader of the camp so technically she was my boss during the camp.)
During the end-party with only the staff, she got somewhat drunk. (Camp leaders sleep on the premises of the camp in tents, they welcome all the kids and the group leaders every morning and wave them goodbye the end of the day.)
As the BF of one of the camp leaders I was allowed to sleep with her in the tent that day and help the organisation clean up the day after.
As a guy people easily talk to, later during the party one of the other group leaders came up to me and asked to talk, she was very sad and tried with every power to hold back her tears. I agreed and during the party we went to a quiet place so she could vent.
I have to add, I was quite popular as a group leader, I always connected well with coworkers, shared stuff with them and made sure we all would come along nicely. Which also made me an easy person to talk or vent to, it was also widely known I was the BF of K.
The coworker bursted out in tears when we sat down on a bench at the park and she told me what was wrong.
We talked for about half an hour, in which my phone was in my pocket and I wasn’t responding and when we came back to the group friends of mine started telling me K was looking for me. Apparently someone had seen me leave with the other coworker and K, in her insecurity and drunkenness got very upset I was cheating on her.
So I went down to find K and talked to her but it didn’t matter what I told her she didn’t believe me and was convinced I had s*x with that girl on that park bench.
The people slowly left and as we didn’t want to make a whole public argument out of it, she decided to behave normally until we were alone in the tent later.
I told her to talk tomorrow, promised her I didn’t cheat, but at the moment she was too influenced to talk about what happened, she agreed but about 5 minutes later she began to harass me. K tried kicking me out of the bed, continued to be annoying and that made me decide to move from out of the tent into some other place to sleep.
I moved myself and my belongings to a tent that was used for some of the activities to create some space and hoped I would be able to get some sleep and work things out the next day.
After 10/15 minutes, my phone kept buzzing like crazy, she was looking for me. I told her that I wouldn’t go back and we will figure it out tomorrow. I tried to sleep but 10 minutes later she was next to me and had my phone in her hand. Threatening to break it by throwing it on the ground and hitting me if I didn’t come with her back to the tent because “everyone would look at us weirdly if I slept in some other place.”
I tried to calm her down but in the end she threw my phone onto the floor and to make sure things wouldn’t escalate more I agreed and went back with her to the tent.
The next day would be cleaning day, in which I just tidied up and cleaned, we didn’t talk much. At some point she became more violent against me where she would throw things towards me. I told one of the other camp leaders and a good friend of mine I would leave earlier to not escalate the situation because she was attacking me. I grabbed my stuff, went to the bus and left for home. During my trip home she still continued to send messages ranging from come back to hating me.
The next day she would go with her parents to their holiday home in France, I would come 2 weeks later and after a short visit of me there (1 week) we would go to Disney together as our own holiday. (Already booked before the drama started.)
In the 2 weeks that followed I tried to create some space for myself, vented with friends. I was really hurt by the situation but I blamed her past for her behaviour. I was definitely upset by her attacking and slapping me and breaking my stuff. She would contact me more and more while I tried to create space to solve what happened.
We discussed the holiday plans and what we would do, but as I wanted to patch things up, I decided I would go there, we could talk.
After arriving there, there were mixed feelings, she wanted to be more physical than I was used to but I had a hard time because of what happened. (I had trouble to finish or didn’t even want to have physical contact.) We talked it over, I explained my side of the story and it all seemed to be patched up a little.
At some point I ended up with both her parents at a table, 3 against 1, where they would blame me for having the discussion with the coworker in private to help her out because she was having a hard time and how I should never have done that. I never said anything about her violence towards me. I was far from home and I didn’t want to escalate the situation. The upcoming days went better but still not as we used to have. Then came the Disney Trip.
Disney was a freaking nightmare, the first days were fun but at some point the whole situation came back up. (Important; she speaks French and I don’t.) We were walking outside of the hotel (close to Disney) and she was getting more angry, started to scream help in French.
Which meant that I was in a country where I didn’t speak the language, with a girl who screamed for help in a language I didn’t understand. She grabbed her phone and called her mother, told her I was ‘the same as her exes and how I abused her.’ (Turns out, the call was fake, she wanted to know who I would call as she thought I would call the girl from the youth camp I helped out.)
I was scared someone would come and kick the shit out of me or I didn’t have a way to get home (she had the train tickets) so I grabbed my phone and called one of my best mates. I explained the situation and asked if he could pick me up. Without a doubt he jumped in his car and drove towards me. I walked away from K towards the hotel to grab my stuff, she was surprised and followed me, begging me to not leave her there and told me she was ‘testing if I would/expecting me to call the girl.’ She practically begged me to call my best mate off and we patched it up towards the point where I would be okay leaving with the train with her.
I called my best mate and told him things would be okay and he didn’t have to come, he asked if I was sure and I thanked him so much for being prepared to come but things were okay.
After the whole ordeal things were a little more okay but I was on edge. On the day we left we had one more fight about the situation in which I called her some bad words and she just broke down crying and patched it back up before we stepped into the train to our 6 hour ride home.
To be clear, I have never and will never lay my hands on a woman, not even when she attacked me, threw things at me or stuff like that, all I did was grab her wrists so she wouldn’t hit me more but at the end of that holiday of 3 weeks with a lot of very mixed emotions, fights, being cornered (3v1), a lot of physical cravings on her side I was so tired that I called her some heavy swear words in that last fight.
I loved her and wanted to make things alright again, but her mood swings made it very difficult, also her breaking my trust for not believing me made it tough on me. My phone was always accessible. (Apparently she did a lot of checks on my phone at night, also before the fight, where she tried to find messages of infidelity but never found any.)
In the months that followed we never got back to our old selves but we were heading there. At some point she started using a dating app to make friends. (Bumble) She said she was feeling lonely and wanted more friends since she had lost a very good one in those 2 years. (One of the girls she hung around with a lot and her got into a fight about some stupid stuff.) She was very jealous on my social skills and wanted to make new friends.
At some point she asked me if it was okay for her to meet up with some guy for coffee. She met the guy on Bumble. I told her if she would do that I would leave because I would feel betrayed. After her telling the guy she had a BF the guy lost interest. (Figures..) At the time I didn’t know that Bumble BFF function would only show you people from your own gender, so she lied about which part of Bumble she was on. Afterwards she said she wanted guy friends.
March 2020, one day before the National lockdown she broke up with me, I told her I felt betrayed for her leaving me after everything I’ve done for her and that was the start of a serious dark period. Having everything to having nothing. My job had to close down, curfew and no more GF.
Within those last months she started therapy too, which helped her quite a lot. Some memories she pushed away came back and I have to admit that the stories are horrible. I always felt so bad for her. She did try to be open about it all, but at some point she still decided to break things off.
2/3 months later, she contacted me again, lockdown has been a little less strict so I could go back to work and she called me to meet her afterwards. She cried on the phone, a lot happened and she was in a real bad place. I visited her, we talked and she tried to seduce me. I told her that if she wanted us to recover it had to take time. We never made it official again but we became sort of Bf/Gf for a couple more months after which she dropped me again.
She started dating a guy she met on Bumble while in our official relationship within weeks. Got doubts and contacted me again. After we split again she got back with that guy. (As far as I know they’re together still.)
The youth camp still occurred and I was still going, I loved the job and thought of myself as strong enough to just do my job and nothing else there. She always restrained us from being very touchy when working there (hugs and/or a kiss to say hey) but with her new BF she didn’t everything she could to be close to him, I’ve always found that strange.
Now, two years after that last one, I am no longer able to go to the camp, even though I didn’t do anything wrong she pulled some strings and got me blacklisted for some reason. I really hate her for that because I loved working there. When I visited the theme park it occurs in last year I got welcomed by two of her coworkers asking me what I came to visit for.
I didn’t tell anyone about how violent she was towards me, there were a lot more instances but I thought this post would be long enough already. I don’t know why but I feel this whole situation had been tough on me. I have a hard time dating again and feel insecure a lot more.
I don’t want to say she is all to blame, I am not perfect either, but I tried, I fought and now I feel like I can’t do that anymore with others.
Thank you if you’ve made it to the end. I hope this helps me to move on.
submitted by TheMrXStream to Vent [link] [comments]
I (M,currently 27) was in a relationship back from 2017 to 2020. I know it is quite some time ago but I think the situation messed me up more than I thought. I hope writing on here helps me. I honestly don’t know where to begin so I’ll just write and see what comes out
Some background: I worked at a youth camp where we were in ‘charge’ of leading groups of kids daily around attractions and activities where I met (let’s call her K) that time we were both a group leader of different groups. Me at that time being 20 and her being 19. This is where we met.
K already had 2 relationships before me which were quite abusive, she didn’t tell me straight from the start but as our relationship grew she slowly gave more details. Abuse and rape were not uncommon in those relationships and she worked up quite some traumatic experiences while she was 14-17.
During the camp, K had a kid in her group who was misbehaving quite badly, even one who threatened to bring knives next time he would come visit and when one of the kids attacked her I stepped in to hold the kid down. (This was during the moment the kids had to gather to go back home.)
Every day in the morning the kids would be picked up at a certain spot in our city and at the end of the day the busses would bring them back to those spots. Every day I would go to the camp by car, together with another coworker. He would bring us to the spot of the youth camp and we would drive back home afterwards. The final day of the week, he wanted to go grab a drink at the beach, and because her bus was missing one more bus leader, we arranged to drive with her bus.
From that moment on we talked a lot, there was a party on the last day of the camp (it’s only there for 3 weeks a year during summer holiday) and she asked if she could go with us by car. After the party I drove everyone back home and took her home last. She was prepared for having a ONS, even though my intentions were more than that, we talked till late at night/early in the morning and the next day she would leave towards her parents vacation home in France.
During her holiday in France we talked daily and grew quite close. She had some things she didn’t want to tell me about, like her exes, but after a couple of weeks she came back and we planned to go for a walk, she lived close to the beach. After a couple months and dates, we started to become official bf/gf.
Things started off great even though K was quite insecure. I tried my best to be there for her at every moment she needed it, and quite soon after becoming official she was getting some health issues. After some blood tests, she was very scared of and I always went with her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with a couple of viruses.
Long story short, she was tired a lot, had pain in her entire body without any cause, stuff like that.
I was feeling really bad for her, so much so that I quit my studies and was there to support her at any step of the way. Even though the illnesses she had were untreatable. (I never told her she was the reason, I told her it was because I didn’t like the study.)
Our relationship had ups and downs, because of her traumatic experiences she wasn’t always feeling alright without our relationship.
She always said she had to get used to being treated well because she never had that. By the way, whenever we had sex I made sure to prioritise her over myself so she wouldn’t feel like it was forced and I really had to teach her to please herself (she also never masturbated before me, as that was difficult for her due to her past)
Our relationship grew and we go to know each others families but she still had problem commiting, she was broken before and I tried to give her space and tell her that I was ‘the real deal’ and was there because I loved her. There were times where she was having commitment issues. (At the start of the relationship I also told her I didn’t want to force her but I really started to have feelings and didn’t know what to do with that because I knew about her commitment issues.)
Her past of being SA and forced to do things she didn’t want to continued to play some part in our relationship at times of her insecurities and doubts.
Things went wrong at the same youth camp some time later, in the summer of 2019. (In 2018 she got a promotion to leader of the camp so technically she was my boss during the camp.)
During the end-party with only the staff, she got somewhat drunk. (Camp leaders sleep on the premises of the camp in tents, they welcome all the kids and the group leaders every morning and wave them goodbye the end of the day.)
As the BF of one of the camp leaders I was allowed to sleep with her in the tent that day and help the organisation clean up the day after.
As a guy people easily talk to, later during the party one of the other group leaders came up to me and asked to talk, she was very sad and tried with every power to hold back her tears. I agreed and during the party we went to a quiet place so she could vent.
I have to add, I was quite popular as a group leader, I always connected well with coworkers, shared stuff with them and made sure we all would come along nicely. Which also made me an easy person to talk or vent to, it was also widely known I was the BF of K.
The coworker bursted out in tears when we sat down on a bench at the park and she told me what was wrong.
We talked for about half an hour, in which my phone was in my pocket and I wasn’t responding and when we came back to the group friends of mine started telling me K was looking for me. Apparently someone had seen me leave with the other coworker and K, in her insecurity and drunkenness got very upset I was cheating on her.
So I went down to find K and talked to her but it didn’t matter what I told her she didn’t believe me and was convinced I had s*x with that girl on that park bench.
The people slowly left and as we didn’t want to make a whole public argument out of it, she decided to behave normally until we were alone in the tent later.
I told her to talk tomorrow, promised her I didn’t cheat, but at the moment she was too influenced to talk about what happened, she agreed but about 5 minutes later she began to harass me. K tried kicking me out of the bed, continued to be annoying and that made me decide to move from out of the tent into some other place to sleep.
I moved myself and my belongings to a tent that was used for some of the activities to create some space and hoped I would be able to get some sleep and work things out the next day.
After 10/15 minutes, my phone kept buzzing like crazy, she was looking for me. I told her that I wouldn’t go back and we will figure it out tomorrow. I tried to sleep but 10 minutes later she was next to me and had my phone in her hand. Threatening to break it by throwing it on the ground and hitting me if I didn’t come with her back to the tent because “everyone would look at us weirdly if I slept in some other place.”
I tried to calm her down but in the end she threw my phone onto the floor and to make sure things wouldn’t escalate more I agreed and went back with her to the tent.
The next day would be cleaning day, in which I just tidied up and cleaned, we didn’t talk much. At some point she became more violent against me where she would throw things towards me. I told one of the other camp leaders and a good friend of mine I would leave earlier to not escalate the situation because she was attacking me. I grabbed my stuff, went to the bus and left for home. During my trip home she still continued to send messages ranging from come back to hating me.
The next day she would go with her parents to their holiday home in France, I would come 2 weeks later and after a short visit of me there (1 week) we would go to Disney together as our own holiday. (Already booked before the drama started.)
In the 2 weeks that followed I tried to create some space for myself, vented with friends. I was really hurt by the situation but I blamed her past for her behaviour. I was definitely upset by her attacking and slapping me and breaking my stuff. She would contact me more and more while I tried to create space to solve what happened.
We discussed the holiday plans and what we would do, but as I wanted to patch things up, I decided I would go there, we could talk.
After arriving there, there were mixed feelings, she wanted to be more physical than I was used to but I had a hard time because of what happened. (I had trouble to finish or didn’t even want to have physical contact.) We talked it over, I explained my side of the story and it all seemed to be patched up a little.
At some point I ended up with both her parents at a table, 3 against 1, where they would blame me for having the discussion with the coworker in private to help her out because she was having a hard time and how I should never have done that. I never said anything about her violence towards me. I was far from home and I didn’t want to escalate the situation. The upcoming days went better but still not as we used to have. Then came the Disney Trip.
Disney was a freaking nightmare, the first days were fun but at some point the whole situation came back up. (Important; she speaks French and I don’t.) We were walking outside of the hotel (close to Disney) and she was getting more angry, started to scream help in French.
Which meant that I was in a country where I didn’t speak the language, with a girl who screamed for help in a language I didn’t understand. She grabbed her phone and called her mother, told her I was ‘the same as her exes and how I abused her.’ (Turns out, the call was fake, she wanted to know who I would call as she thought I would call the girl from the youth camp I helped out.)
I was scared someone would come and kick the shit out of me or I didn’t have a way to get home (she had the train tickets) so I grabbed my phone and called one of my best mates. I explained the situation and asked if he could pick me up. Without a doubt he jumped in his car and drove towards me. I walked away from K towards the hotel to grab my stuff, she was surprised and followed me, begging me to not leave her there and told me she was ‘testing if I would/expecting me to call the girl.’ She practically begged me to call my best mate off and we patched it up towards the point where I would be okay leaving with the train with her.
I called my best mate and told him things would be okay and he didn’t have to come, he asked if I was sure and I thanked him so much for being prepared to come but things were okay.
After the whole ordeal things were a little more okay but I was on edge. On the day we left we had one more fight about the situation in which I called her some bad words and she just broke down crying and patched it back up before we stepped into the train to our 6 hour ride home.
To be clear, I have never and will never lay my hands on a woman, not even when she attacked me, threw things at me or stuff like that, all I did was grab her wrists so she wouldn’t hit me more but at the end of that holiday of 3 weeks with a lot of very mixed emotions, fights, being cornered (3v1), a lot of physical cravings on her side I was so tired that I called her some heavy swear words in that last fight.
I loved her and wanted to make things alright again, but her mood swings made it very difficult, also her breaking my trust for not believing me made it tough on me. My phone was always accessible. (Apparently she did a lot of checks on my phone at night, also before the fight, where she tried to find messages of infidelity but never found any.)
In the months that followed we never got back to our old selves but we were heading there. At some point she started using a dating app to make friends. (Bumble) She said she was feeling lonely and wanted more friends since she had lost a very good one in those 2 years. (One of the girls she hung around with a lot and her got into a fight about some stupid stuff.) She was very jealous on my social skills and wanted to make new friends.
At some point she asked me if it was okay for her to meet up with some guy for coffee. She met the guy on Bumble. I told her if she would do that I would leave because I would feel betrayed. After her telling the guy she had a BF the guy lost interest. (Figures..) At the time I didn’t know that Bumble BFF function would only show you people from your own gender, so she lied about which part of Bumble she was on. Afterwards she said she wanted guy friends.
March 2020, one day before the National lockdown she broke up with me, I told her I felt betrayed for her leaving me after everything I’ve done for her and that was the start of a serious dark period. Having everything to having nothing. My job had to close down, curfew and no more GF.
Within those last months she started therapy too, which helped her quite a lot. Some memories she pushed away came back and I have to admit that the stories are horrible. I always felt so bad for her. She did try to be open about it all, but at some point she still decided to break things off.
2/3 months later, she contacted me again, lockdown has been a little less strict so I could go back to work and she called me to meet her afterwards. She cried on the phone, a lot happened and she was in a real bad place. I visited her, we talked and she tried to seduce me. I told her that if she wanted us to recover it had to take time. We never made it official again but we became sort of Bf/Gf for a couple more months after which she dropped me again.
She started dating a guy she met on Bumble while in our official relationship within weeks. Got doubts and contacted me again. After we split again she got back with that guy. (As far as I know they’re together still.)
The youth camp still occurred and I was still going, I loved the job and thought of myself as strong enough to just do my job and nothing else there. She always restrained us from being very touchy when working there (hugs and/or a kiss to say hey) but with her new BF she didn’t everything she could to be close to him, I’ve always found that strange.
Now, two years after that last one, I am no longer able to go to the camp, even though I didn’t do anything wrong she pulled some strings and got me blacklisted for some reason. I really hate her for that because I loved working there. When I visited the theme park it occurs in last year I got welcomed by two of her coworkers asking me what I came to visit for.
I didn’t tell anyone about how violent she was towards me, there were a lot more instances but I thought this post would be long enough already. I don’t know why but I feel this whole situation had been tough on me. I have a hard time dating again and feel insecure a lot more.
I don’t want to say she is all to blame, I am not perfect either, but I tried, I fought and now I feel like I can’t do that anymore with others.
Thank you if you’ve made it to the end. I hope this helps me to move on.
2024.04.29 01:20 123reddnotit Switching hosting - seeking advice
TL;DR
I’m looking to switch hosting companies, but am overwhelmed with all the options presented and the best way to approach the transition. Would love a gut check from experts in the space.
FEATURES I’M LOOKING FOR
I currently host about 15 websites on a shared hosting plan w/Just Host (powered by Blue Host). Some are ours, some are family, friends, or colleagues sites that know even less than I do about website development. None of the sites today get a lot of traffic (the most trafficked site might be a few thousand visitors a month). However, over the last 2 years we’ve made significant strides to revamp several of the sites to make a concerted effort to drive traffic to them once they launch. A lot of side hustles that never saw the light of day and now will. They’re all currently in a staging environment on sub-domains. They’re all built on wordpress and with the DIVI builder. We also have been asked as part of our consultancy to host some client sites that we’ve been hesitant to do, but are considering once we move hosting. The sites will be as follows:
submitted by 123reddnotit to webhosting [link] [comments]
I’m looking to switch hosting companies, but am overwhelmed with all the options presented and the best way to approach the transition. Would love a gut check from experts in the space.
FEATURES I’M LOOKING FOR
- Fast hosting that specializes in wordpress sites
- Strong preference to not have to pay PER site or domain. e.g. unlimited domains
- Staging environment for all sites. Ease of pushing from testing to production (currently I maintain separate sub-domains and wordpress installs for every site & staging site)
- Manage multiple sites that are ours + some that aren’t (clients, family, friends, colleagues)
- Resell hosting services and white label for sites that aren’t ours
- Unlimited email or ability to create a lot of aliases (support@, media@, press@, hello@, etc.)
- Minimize how many paid accounts I need if not hosting email and site at same place
- Low to medium technical knowledge required to manage hosting
- Am used to cpanel and fairly comfortable navigating most things like database management, ftp management, editing html/css, php, etc. but I’m not a technical expert
- Automated backups (ideal but not required. Can do this via dropbox and plugins)
- CDN
- SSL
- Managed VPS seems to be the way to go
- Cloud vs. VPS people don’t seem to feel too strongly about one vs. the other
- Separating email and web hosting seems like the smarter path, but not sure how to manage a lot of emails across domains without a huge bill
- Digital Ocean / Cloudway's seems to check off most boxes for me, except email. I would need to solve email a separate way but could be pricey across 10+ domains and all the emails & aliases for each.
- Self-hosting on google cloud, AWS, etc. seem like they’ve above my pay grade and require more technical knowledge than I have
- Siteground seems like it checks off all boxes and very popular amongst DIVI forums, but also a lot of complaints on price increases every year, especially after year 1
- Cpanel vs. alternatives like Cloudway's or siteground’s own set-up. Have read good things about Cloudway's & siteground interfaces and there seems to be a lot of people that HATE cpanel, particularly because of bloat. Not sure how much this matters.
- Wordpress multisite or not. I believe the answer here is no. For the biggest reason that if one site goes down they all go down (one database) but since many of the sites are ours I am wondering if multisite is smarter for “ours” and separate installs for clients or others
- Is there really a difference between wordpress, reseller, agency or VPS hosting plans? I see many sites tout these as different offerings but they all feel the same to me and I feel like they all apply to my situation.
- It seems like most “reseller” or white-labeled plans are on shared servers. Is this right? I’ve reached out to a few hosting companies that said all these labels are just marketing gimmicks, but they’re all essentially the same plans.
- Does anyone offer white-labeling on a managed VPS?
I currently host about 15 websites on a shared hosting plan w/Just Host (powered by Blue Host). Some are ours, some are family, friends, or colleagues sites that know even less than I do about website development. None of the sites today get a lot of traffic (the most trafficked site might be a few thousand visitors a month). However, over the last 2 years we’ve made significant strides to revamp several of the sites to make a concerted effort to drive traffic to them once they launch. A lot of side hustles that never saw the light of day and now will. They’re all currently in a staging environment on sub-domains. They’re all built on wordpress and with the DIVI builder. We also have been asked as part of our consultancy to host some client sites that we’ve been hesitant to do, but are considering once we move hosting. The sites will be as follows:
- Family blog (journal writing/blogging, photography, travel, etc.)
- Consulting site (what we offer + client portals)
- E-commerce store (niche / customized products)
- Education/training in curriculum in our field (workshops, courses)
- Ethnography research project
- A few old business ideas we’ll be selling, leasing or sub-contracting out to manage
- Client sites we’ll manage (relatively low traffic/niche sites in the non-profit or B2B space)
2024.04.29 01:01 AutoModerator Weekly Copyright Reminder
This is a weekly reminder post of this sub's stance on potential copyright infringement. This is a serious issue that needs to be kept in mind when creating and listing NFTs.
Original post by u/HurleyBird1
Quick disclaimer: I AM NOT A LAWYER. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE - THIS IS SIMPLY INFORMATION WITH WHICH TO EDUCATE YOURSELVES AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR LEGAL ADVICE FROM A LICENSED SOURCE.
Now that that's out of the way. My credentials are: MBA, with a bit of business law classes under my belt.
I want to give a quick explanation of how copyright works - and I'll do so through quick blurbs n some myth/reality bullets.
Source: copyright.gov (US)
- Reality: No. Not true at all.
- Myth: Well they never said it's copyrighted.
- Reality: Upon publication (and even while a work in progress) a work is automatically protected via copyright under US Law.
- Myth: Well they never sold it.
- Reality: It doesn't have to be commercialized to be protected.
- Myth: Well it was a long time ago
- Reality: Possibly true...as long as the creator is deceased (or if multiple creators, the last living one is deceased) and the required time has passed...although this gets tricky with "estates."
(d) Duration of Rights.—(1) With respect to works of visual art created on or after the effective date set forth in section 610(a) of the Visual Artists Rights Act of 1990, the rights conferred by subsection (a) shall endure for a term consisting of the life of the author.
So what's this thing I hear called "Fair Use?"
Straight from the source:
- Myth: Well this is paid for in Algos, not USD so it's not "commercial"
- Reality: IT IS commercial. You could even barter for bacon and it'd be commercial. It's an exchange of one good/service for another good/service.
- Myth: My piece with Batman inside a card is "transformative"
- Reality: No, unfortunately, more-than-likely the courts would say it's not. A good litmus test is..."If Warner Bros Entertainment (owner of Batman) wanted to make an NFT/ASA "Batman card" would yours compete with it or be possibly mistaken (by a reasonable person - so in America think 8th grade education) for real merchandise? Probably...thus it's not transformative enough.
"nature" gets a little tougher. This looks at protecting the "creative process." Thus, using other works of art is less-likely to be protected than using factual sources - like historical photographs since it's easier to "create art" and thus "transform" factual pieces than other art pieces. This is also talking to things like "parody." Satire is NOT protected. "Parody" is. What's the difference? LegalZoomputs it well: While a parody targets and mimics the original work to make a point, a satire uses the original work to criticize something else entirely. Another way to look at it is that satire uses another work as a way to comment on something happening in the world that has nothing to do with the original work.
- Myth: I added a different border, extra planets, and some blur effect to MTZ's World of Light - it's a new piece of art.
- Reality: Not likely the courts will see it that way.
- Myth: This guy added a filter, some burn effects, and collaged a bunch of newspaper headlines together - isn't that a violation!
- Reality: Probably not...the courts would probably see this as a creation of art out of factual sources.
amount/substantiality in relation to the whole...this is where using clips of songs that are only like 5 seconds long works! But using more than that...runs into problems. This is tough to decipher too...as some songs are EASILY identifiable from just 5 seconds (Ice, ice, baby) - and thus NOT fair use. But some aren't. Usually you're safe using a very small clip of a song or video - especially if you're adding more to it. But this is a dangerous game to play - and there's places to get free audio (some sources below)
effect of the use - this is probably the biggest one. Courts will look at simply...does YOUR work affect the sales or potential for sales of the copyright owner. Of note...this is looked at at the time of the issue being brought to the court, not at the time of sale. For example, let's say my batman card sells for 10 Algos today, but Algorand BLOWS UP and soon every NFT is on Algorand. And now my OG Batman NFT is seen as one of the first Batman ones and official. Warner Bros gonna sue the shit outta whoever owns it at the time they sue to get the rights to all sales of that NFT. So that person is left holding an empty bag when Warner Bros wins in court.
- Myth: Well they're not commercializing it NOW so I'm safe.
- Reality: Technically, yea Warner Bros probably won't spend the money to go after the OG artist and the hands the asset passed through...HOWEVER, they may. That's their right. Who knows - the Napster days showed us the lengths companies will go to. EVEN BIGGER HOWEVER, the last person holding it when Warner Bros DOES decide to go after that Batman NFT...uh oh for them - they just lost their asset.
- Myth: Well it's been like a year, and no one has brought up copyright. So I'm good.
- Reality: If this was in a normal market...maybe this argument would work. If McDonald's let you sell a Ronald McDonald poster for like a year on Amazon with no issues, some court may say "bro, you took too long to bring this to us." HOWEVER, with cryptocurrency being so new (and Algorand being so little known/discussed), most courts would see it as "reasonable" that a copyright owner failed to exercise their rights within a year - possibly even a decade. (Updated because I realized last example dealt with trademark not copyright :o)
So what am I safe to use?
US Government works (mostly)...any deemed free to use by creator...and any a copyright lawyer says they have your backs on (cuz now they're liable).
Here's some great sources for free use items (please add to this list below if you know of some!!!):
Pictures: https://buffer.com/library/free-images/ (Unsplash is one of my faves)
Music: https://www.wix.com/blog/photography/2019/11/27/free-music-for-videos/
Video: https://blog.hootsuite.com/free-stock-videos-sites/
You'll notice there's a lot of "shoulds" "coulds" "probably" etc. This is because copyright cases are all unique and go to the courts. The best bet is to go with stuff you KNOW is free and fair-use. If not, I'd look up copyright law, consult supreme court cases concerning copyright, and ultimately, talk to a lawyer.
AGAIN: I AM NOT A LAWYER. I AM NOT PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. I AM SIMPLY PROVIDING INFORMATION. THERE MAY BE ERRORS ABOVE THAT COULD CAUSE SUBSTANTIAL DAMAGES - CONSULT A COPYRIGHT ATTORNEY IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE LEGAL ADVICE.
submitted by AutoModerator to AlgoNFTMarketplace [link] [comments]
Original post by u/HurleyBird1
Quick disclaimer: I AM NOT A LAWYER. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE - THIS IS SIMPLY INFORMATION WITH WHICH TO EDUCATE YOURSELVES AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR LEGAL ADVICE FROM A LICENSED SOURCE.
Now that that's out of the way. My credentials are: MBA, with a bit of business law classes under my belt.
I want to give a quick explanation of how copyright works - and I'll do so through quick blurbs n some myth/reality bullets.
Source: copyright.gov (US)
- Subject matter of copyright: In general28(a) Copyright protection subsists, in accordance with this title, in original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium of expression, now known or later developed, from which they can be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated, either directly or with the aid of a machine or device. Works of authorship include the following categories:(1) literary works;(2) musical works, including any accompanying words;(3) dramatic works, including any accompanying music;(4) pantomimes and choreographic works;(5) pictorial, graphic, and sculptural works;(6) motion pictures and other audiovisual works;(7) sound recordings; and(8) architectural works.(b) In no case does copyright protection for an original work of authorship extend to any idea, procedure, process, system, method of operation, concept, principle, or discovery, regardless of the form in which it is described, explained, illustrated, or embodied in such work.
- Reality: No. Not true at all.
- Myth: Well they never said it's copyrighted.
- Reality: Upon publication (and even while a work in progress) a work is automatically protected via copyright under US Law.
- Myth: Well they never sold it.
- Reality: It doesn't have to be commercialized to be protected.
- Myth: Well it was a long time ago
- Reality: Possibly true...as long as the creator is deceased (or if multiple creators, the last living one is deceased) and the required time has passed...although this gets tricky with "estates."
(d) Duration of Rights.—(1) With respect to works of visual art created on or after the effective date set forth in section 610(a) of the Visual Artists Rights Act of 1990, the rights conferred by subsection (a) shall endure for a term consisting of the life of the author.
So what's this thing I hear called "Fair Use?"
Straight from the source:
- Limitations on exclusive rights: Fair use41Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include—(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.The fact that a work is unpublished shall not itself bar a finding of fair use if such finding is made upon consideration of all the above factors.
- above...if it's non-profit educational use, you're usually good to go...if it's for money or trade (commercial nature) then you're usually NOT...unless YOUR piece is "transformative"
- Myth: Well this is paid for in Algos, not USD so it's not "commercial"
- Reality: IT IS commercial. You could even barter for bacon and it'd be commercial. It's an exchange of one good/service for another good/service.
- Myth: My piece with Batman inside a card is "transformative"
- Reality: No, unfortunately, more-than-likely the courts would say it's not. A good litmus test is..."If Warner Bros Entertainment (owner of Batman) wanted to make an NFT/ASA "Batman card" would yours compete with it or be possibly mistaken (by a reasonable person - so in America think 8th grade education) for real merchandise? Probably...thus it's not transformative enough.
"nature" gets a little tougher. This looks at protecting the "creative process." Thus, using other works of art is less-likely to be protected than using factual sources - like historical photographs since it's easier to "create art" and thus "transform" factual pieces than other art pieces. This is also talking to things like "parody." Satire is NOT protected. "Parody" is. What's the difference? LegalZoomputs it well: While a parody targets and mimics the original work to make a point, a satire uses the original work to criticize something else entirely. Another way to look at it is that satire uses another work as a way to comment on something happening in the world that has nothing to do with the original work.
- Myth: I added a different border, extra planets, and some blur effect to MTZ's World of Light - it's a new piece of art.
- Reality: Not likely the courts will see it that way.
- Myth: This guy added a filter, some burn effects, and collaged a bunch of newspaper headlines together - isn't that a violation!
- Reality: Probably not...the courts would probably see this as a creation of art out of factual sources.
amount/substantiality in relation to the whole...this is where using clips of songs that are only like 5 seconds long works! But using more than that...runs into problems. This is tough to decipher too...as some songs are EASILY identifiable from just 5 seconds (Ice, ice, baby) - and thus NOT fair use. But some aren't. Usually you're safe using a very small clip of a song or video - especially if you're adding more to it. But this is a dangerous game to play - and there's places to get free audio (some sources below)
effect of the use - this is probably the biggest one. Courts will look at simply...does YOUR work affect the sales or potential for sales of the copyright owner. Of note...this is looked at at the time of the issue being brought to the court, not at the time of sale. For example, let's say my batman card sells for 10 Algos today, but Algorand BLOWS UP and soon every NFT is on Algorand. And now my OG Batman NFT is seen as one of the first Batman ones and official. Warner Bros gonna sue the shit outta whoever owns it at the time they sue to get the rights to all sales of that NFT. So that person is left holding an empty bag when Warner Bros wins in court.
- Myth: Well they're not commercializing it NOW so I'm safe.
- Reality: Technically, yea Warner Bros probably won't spend the money to go after the OG artist and the hands the asset passed through...HOWEVER, they may. That's their right. Who knows - the Napster days showed us the lengths companies will go to. EVEN BIGGER HOWEVER, the last person holding it when Warner Bros DOES decide to go after that Batman NFT...uh oh for them - they just lost their asset.
- Myth: Well it's been like a year, and no one has brought up copyright. So I'm good.
- Reality: If this was in a normal market...maybe this argument would work. If McDonald's let you sell a Ronald McDonald poster for like a year on Amazon with no issues, some court may say "bro, you took too long to bring this to us." HOWEVER, with cryptocurrency being so new (and Algorand being so little known/discussed), most courts would see it as "reasonable" that a copyright owner failed to exercise their rights within a year - possibly even a decade. (Updated because I realized last example dealt with trademark not copyright :o)
So what am I safe to use?
US Government works (mostly)...any deemed free to use by creator...and any a copyright lawyer says they have your backs on (cuz now they're liable).
Here's some great sources for free use items (please add to this list below if you know of some!!!):
Pictures: https://buffer.com/library/free-images/ (Unsplash is one of my faves)
Music: https://www.wix.com/blog/photography/2019/11/27/free-music-for-videos/
Video: https://blog.hootsuite.com/free-stock-videos-sites/
You'll notice there's a lot of "shoulds" "coulds" "probably" etc. This is because copyright cases are all unique and go to the courts. The best bet is to go with stuff you KNOW is free and fair-use. If not, I'd look up copyright law, consult supreme court cases concerning copyright, and ultimately, talk to a lawyer.
AGAIN: I AM NOT A LAWYER. I AM NOT PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. I AM SIMPLY PROVIDING INFORMATION. THERE MAY BE ERRORS ABOVE THAT COULD CAUSE SUBSTANTIAL DAMAGES - CONSULT A COPYRIGHT ATTORNEY IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE LEGAL ADVICE.
2024.04.29 00:37 LogicallyNefarious I think this is me looking for help? Idk emotions are hard.
I didn't know what tag to put on this so here we go.
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.
submitted by LogicallyNefarious to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.
2024.04.28 23:44 SpecialistExchange28 Wheelchair Ramps 101 - DIY down and dirty edition 2024
 | Thanks for deciding to read my post today. This is not the definitive or complete explanation of wheelchair ramp design. Before I start let's get the technical potentially legal stuff out of the way first. submitted by SpecialistExchange28 to u/SpecialistExchange28 [link] [comments] Ramps that are indoors or in a fenced in area like a back yard (THE FENCED AREA MAY BE DIFFERENT IF IT IS ACCESSIBLE TO THE PUBLIC). Ramps not used by the public = Food delivery, mailperson, utility meter reader, Jahova's Witnesses, etc. These Ramps do not need to Meer ADA requirements. But should still be functional and safe to use. You'd be surprised at what people do. But if it works, then it works. Backyards that are fenced in and not accessible to the public MIGHT be excluded. FOR ANY RAMP OR ACCESSIBLE FEATURE ADDED TO OITDOOR SPACES THAT THE PUBLIC CAN ACCESS WILL 100% NEED A TOWN OR CITY PERMIT. THIS IS WITHOUT EXCEPTION. Here is where it gets real. If you decide to ignore this and say someone trips, slips pr otherwise gets injured by your accessibility fearure. YOU and only YOU are at fault. Even if it is 100% ADA compliant, the feature was not properly registered with the town or city so it can be noted when and where it is installed and on what property. Next the town or city will fine you a set amount per day it was in place without a permit. For example a permit for my handcycle shed cost $100 that might seem unfair and costly. But if I had just built my shed without permit they could fine me $1,000 per day it was up from the time it was built. Getting a permit and making things 100% or better than ADA complaint, yes it is easy to surpass what the ADA asks for. ADA is the bare minimum expected. This doesn't mean someone trying to con you won't try and sue you. But, if you have things in order such as getting a permit. Making things at least ADA compliant will support your side in a legal issue. Yup that is the borish stuff for the most part. Forget about it and life will likely get very annoying. For those who are interested and want a live community to chillax in to talk about most anything really, listen to music and make requests for Fave songs or topics you would like to discuss. I broadcast live typically in the cold months M-F from around when my pain allows me to get up varies 9am to after noon and I go until my sweetheart arrives home. About 5PM to 6PM I have been broadcasting live 16 years. Quite literally I am just repeating here what I will talk about live also. TikTok until the ban kicks in. Then it's back to Twitch. AbiliTV or AbiliTV Live. If you Google the name do not pay attention to the website I don't have one. And the owner of that sight well let's say I don't endorse him. I am on YouTube, FB, IG,,Twitch, account still there but not used since it went to X (Twitter), Kick - although I don't like the vibe on Kick. Of course I am here getting started here on Reddit in a more text based community. I am in the Wheelchair and Disabilities communities where I am learning about all sorts of amazing people. OK, I always hate posting I am a live content creator. I hate it so much I have hardly any community live. Ramps. What makes a crappy, good, or excellent ramp? For me it is the little details that really make the differences. I will use images to try and explain the bare basics. 1st image: Most people see this and think: My prayers have been answered. No they have not. You will notice the direction the person is using the ramp. Manufacturers do this to play into your desperate need for a ramp solution. They want you imagining how easy there ramp is to use. So they stage images showing that. Much how homes are staged. To make it easier for people to fall victim to slick sales tricks. What if the door were closed and rhe person was approaching the door? Look at the ramp. How does one say open s screen door or storm door that swings out? Most dwellings will have one. Now imagine it's raining really hard and that nice metal surface isn't as grippy? And you have a bag or two of groceries on your lap. Now open the storm door and then before it closes as they are typically on a door closer of some design. As you fight the storm door, are annoyed by the driving rain, and fumbling for your keys. Even on an ideally perfect day without snow or rain this ramp will work 100% against you. Also it isn't wide enough to allow you to move over out of the way ofcthe storm door. Meaning you need to back up and get the door perched against your wheelchair frame to now roll foward to open the entry door. Sadly using the wheelchair brakes just make things all that much more frustrating. 2nd Image: 3 ft ramp $219. This seems decent right? It isn't. You have to account for the pitch or slope. If you have a threshold that is 10 inches higher than the surface you need to reach, this means you need not just a ten foot long ramp but a raised area that meets the threshold that the ramp attaches to closest to the surface you're trying to reach. What happens if you decide to use a short ramp and have a steeper slope? The worst will be to flip backwards going up. Next worst you don't have the upper body strength to make it. The next will be you deciding never to use it except to exit with. It is a little less scary going down. Although you need really good hand strength and dexterity to maintain control at higher speeds. ADDING INFO AS A SAFETY REMINDER: Most manual wheelchairs have what are called brakes. ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ These are NOT brakes like those of a car, or bicycle. Injury or worse can happen when they are used as friction brakes. DANGER: You risk not only destroying your tire and wheelchair but also injuries from catastrophic failures of the tire and possibly the rims of the wheels. These levers no matter if they are push or pull to lock or scissor styled brakes are only meant and made to hold you in place AFTER you use your hands to stop with. OR FEET for those able to do that. The reason these are not brakes in the typical sense is because of how they work. They bite into the tire material and can blow out air filled tires by ripping through the rubber tire. On solid tires they can tear the tire causing it to fail and possibly fall off the rim. If the rim is left exposed and you are moving the metal or composite rim will slide on the surface. The biggest excuses I hear for using these levers as brakes are: They are called brakes. YouTube wheelchair brake basics how to use and not use them. I don't want people ending more disabled than they already are. My hands are to weak to stop me. I understand that. So my best suggestion is rubber coated work gooves. Leather gloves or some form of glove that you like to use. I personally don't like wearing gloves, but when I go on 16 mile strolls I wear a pair. They provide additional traction and that grip means less hand strength is needed to stop overall. It is not recommended to grab the tire for additional friction at any time while moving down hill. If tire use us needed make sure you have a pair of heavy duty leather gloves on. Welding gloves short gauntlet works. Warning: This method destroys gloves rapidly. These is due to the sandpaper like friction the tire creates with its texture and tread design. Extreme heat can build up and burn your hands. So pay attention and release grip changing hand positions to reduce this. Ramps have to be designed to work with the fact wheels like to roll. And steep ramps are what prompted my warning about brake use. I am considering designing a brake system to work like a bicycle that could be added by most people. I will look into this concept at some point. So a stubby short ramp might be low cost but isn't the answer it appears in most manufacturers images. Lots of information that needs to be shared because so many people will fall into the thinking what they have is a good solution and it's harming them and the equipment they use. Good news here: Most towns and cities do not charge or keep the charge very low for ramp and other disability access devices in public spaces. What the permit does is show you the bare minimum of what is required to make your project ADA compliant. Also it resistors your ramp or lift with the town or city and at what property. This way should a nosy neighbor want to whine about your project looking horrible the town or city can reassure that negative rube that you are in full compliance with all the ordinances and ADA requirements. So they can mind their own beeswax. Also the permit is a must if a property owner or landlord are to allow the access in the first place. This has to do with liability and property insurance. Speaking of that crap it would be wise to invest in renters insurance in the event someone claimsxto have been injured by your device. Do not depend only on the landlord or property owner's word that its covered. You could also ask your town or city how that works also to get a straight answer. If the landlord or property owner does claim you are covered always get that in writing. 3rd image shows the lack of what is called a staging area. This is exactly what a porch does. Notice the porch is flat and provides room to move out of the way of any storm door? This is a super important and all to easy to miss feature that makes a ramp go from frustrating to awesome. I even made that mistake with my ramp I built for my garage. I did change it so it has a 6ft deep 4ft wide same as the ramp staging area that once I installed a screen door I use daily. 4th image: Now it gets colorful. Nothing attaches to the porch or the building in my design. This is to respect the property. And save you on extra costs to restore things later. The support for the flat area of the porch: Measure uo to the front top edge of the threshold. Say this is 6 inches or so... Using 4X4 cut to the same width of the porch. These are rated for outdoor ground contact. Next using decking wood this should be equal to the top front edge of the threshold. In effect the timbers are the support they are orange and just on top of the porch. They go across to provide full support. How to determine how many. For the porch shown in your image would likely use three. One right under the threshold, one in the middle, and one right along the front edge of the porch. Decking would go left to right and for the parts with out full support use scrap pieces of 4X4 to position under those rows. An alternative way to set the supports are: under the threshold is left to right full width of porch. Then instead of the others being left to right. Place one on the left going vertical or not left to right. One on the right side going perpendicular to fhe horizontal one. Then you will cut one 4 inches short for the center also placed parallel to the left and right. The front porch edge piece cut to fit the width between the left and right support. That would allow you to place decking horizontally left to right with out worry of adding support for some of the deck strips. The front edge of porch part I feel should be left to right mainly to insure there is no possible way for a ramp to flext or bow in this area. But you are welcome to Google methods on building something like this also. The ramp for the porch will be the longest most likely based on the photos you shared. They are also referenced later in my post. Only around the porch and the outside of the caster wheel guides on each side or the blue color in my image needs a railing, as well as down that first ramp. The other ramps are little more than the plywood laying there. You wouldn't even really need the blue guides on the but they add additional stiffness from bouncing and bending. Again Google is very good for finding examples of how you can design a capable railing. It doesn't need to be fancy, just meet the requirements the ADA sets. To avoid annoying splinters I strongly suggest using iron pipe or proper outdoor rated round railingbars. Benefit of the metal pipe is it is very low cost. Con is in the sun it can get hot. To overcome thar railing grip tape can he used to cancle out the hot part and make it easier to grasp. Grip tape is not required. Thankfully all of this is pretty easy to do if you have some some basic tools or have access to them like narrowing them. If you lack the skill or ability to do this. Trust me when I say buying lunch each day for the hard worker(s) often is payment enough. And Thank You is the perfect payment. Our reward is seeing you enjoying the work put into the project. Last there is an green outline of a 2x4 on each side of the porch staging area. Put one on the far side as well and this should keep the staging area from shifting leftcand right. Surfaces endure a lot more force than we realize. 5th image I used my garage ramp before I corrected the flat staging area issue. So this isn't how my indoor ramp now looks. It has no railings as it is not required and the flat area towards the garage side has a 4 inch tall wheel guard wall to keep me from accidentally rolling off front casters or rear wheels. But, this is roughly how your front porch would look like. All designed to keep everyone safe who uses it. By connecting the ramp to the flat staging areas makes it much harder for it to shift around. In the case of this if you owned the property you would use a contractors grade waterproof glue and 4 8 inch long lag bolts to secure the 4x4 or wood support right next to and under the threshold and bolt it and glue it to the location. Silicone sealant works also as it is mainly to keep insects from making the area home. But since the property needs to be returned to original state, I find that making a saddle staging area works wonders. Sadlle in that it is,like a horse saddle. It isn't bolted to the horse but does use the shape of the horse as the stabilizer. And is easy to remove when needed. Image 6: Sorry about the messy drawing. This is your photo. The green is the railing around the porch and the first longest ramp. The light kind of red horizontal strips are stair tread grip tape. Using wood screws shorter than the thickness of the plywood allows you to have a 2 method way to keep these strips in place. For how much they cost you will thank me. One screw near each corner and two one top one bottom in the center. This insures they are secure. The gue or adhesive isn't likely going to stick in every case. You want full left to right coverage with 2 to 3 inch spacing between each horizontal strip. Yes you can just apply them centered and hope no one slips of they walk closer to the railing. Plus it makes insurance companies feel better also with more safety in mind. In the event someone slips or falls when pictures are taken of l the scene it will look better for you to have provided more safety than not. Also more screws can be used if desired. The only thing to make sure of is all screw heads are flat to the surface. The two method way also known as redundant measures to make sure things don't fail to the point of a catastrophe. The ADA will likely have other suggestions different than I mention. Either will work, I find much of my ideas go beyond ADA requirements. The ramps since they are so minor in slope may even be able to lay strips of 2x4 or even 1x1 that you screw to the underside of ramp. I almost think you could make what would look like a continuous ramp. One step won't really need all 8 ft of plywood however keeping them full length means you could likely add smaller pieces where one ramp ends to meet with the highest point so you can connect them so this keeps them from shifting and moving as they will. The little green marks along the sides of the blue for the length of the ramp represent side supports that are rounded into the ground and screwed to the sides. As you use a ramp that is not secured it will move a little in the opposite direction of your direction of travel. Also it will shift left or right when you first roll onto it. And since the ground shown is easy to return to its original condition once this is removed lowers cost at that time. The blue dots represent horizontal srips placed where needed these are screwed in place as yes they will slide and move into new positions that don't support the ramp. The goal is no bouncing, bending, flexing, warping ramps. As long as all wood is rated for ground contact otherwise it will rot away pretty quickly otherwise. The blue kind of bloody areas are flat sections filled in with plywood. So once you enter this ramp ot remains a plywood surface until the porch area. Where it's decking. 7th image: An example of how your ramp could be designed. In this image since the ramp os longer and rises up higher I definitely would include ratings on each side. But - it may not require them so that is OK also. The redish area is a flat area at least 5 ft deep and 4ft wide. This would allow a person the chance to turn around also. The circled spots denote support placement. Now your steps for me would not need a ramp as I can strong arm my way up short steps or curbs like those. Tha porch would be the only area I would build if this were my place. 8th image: Immediately after moving in I built this and prior to finding the original screen door that the price owners removed and I reinstalled. It was no fun using this ramp when I had to open the door. I typically had one of the kiddos now all grown up open it first for me. The lack of a staging or flat area is a huge mistake. This is ground contact outdoor rated plywood nearly 1 inch thick. Plywood keeps the construction simpler, and removal easier also later. 9th image: Shows the outdoor ramp. Notice the grip tape on this. This is the typical arrangement. I suggest side to side full width strips so able people can walk anyplace and be assured solid footing. The spacing I prefer also assures wheelchair tires have solid grip. The steeper the ramp I say 3 inches between horizontal strips. The shallower ramps for your lower or step ramps can be 4 to five inches between them. If they are wide strips works better. Image 10: This is the ADA recommendation: 36 inches wide. Trust me especially for entry doors you want some space to move over to the side to get out of the way of a screen or storm door. And a place to put down groceries or a package or anything else so you can access the door. 48 inches just happens to be a pretty decent and better than ADA requirements that allows you more room for any purposes. Image 11: Shows your porch. From what I see this should be pretty easy to cover with the staging area over the porch and ramp going down. You want to measure from the front edge ofcthe threshold to the ground in front of the porch the walkway leading to it. This will give you a total height that needs to be accounted for. Say it is a total of 10 inches tall. Your ramp will be 1 foot out per one inch in height. So 10 feet long. Now say you have the room and used 2 8 foot long plywood sheets end to end that is 16 ft. That means your slope will be less overall and easy to roll up. 10 ft will be usable but will be a little harder to roll up. Funny thing is you use the same energy to roll up 10ft or 16ft. You just exert less energy over a longer distance that still equals the amount it takes to go up a 10 foot length. Slope is something only you know what works for you. So if you need a little longer of a ramp if room allows it then that is fine. Oh I forgot skip over the smaller step when making your measurements. That isn't where a ramp will end at to rest. Image 12: The walkway. These little steps are easily rolled up by some wheelchair users. However of you can not. That is fine. The over all length of these looks decently long enough. You in effect are just governing them as I hope I explained. To keep the ramps from moving side spikes can be placed as mentioned 2 at the sides and top, two in the middle sides. And 2 and the bottom sides. They get rounded into the ground next to each area of the Ramos they will be screwed to. You might even be able to lay a plywood sheet down and see if that is enough to raise you up enough. That the plywood could just lay on the walkway. Now most likely that option will not fully work. Offered as an alternative. The very end where ramp ends or starts at the lowest point you can get an aluminum door threshold commercial grade one. It means a little bump up onto the ramp and or down it. I will photograph the one I have as it works like a charm. Also the rest of my garage ramp. The deck to ramp can be connected using lag bolts from underneath into the 2 4x4 support. Using 6 or preferred 7 or 8 inch long lag bolts 3 of them to secure the ramp to the staging deck area. Trust me when I say this, this is a mere drop in the bucket of information on how to design a ramp system. Last little note: Always get a permit prior making anything. The permit should cost nothing or very little since it is an accessibility ♿️ need. The information the permit comes with will also be of huge help in DIY or other options. Sadly there is no way to construct something like this for no cost. However, church groups, friends, local elected officials, and others can be great resources. From fundraising, to helping you locate a foundation or charity to help cover some or all of it. Do not feel bad for asking for help like this and when needed. Being a renter doesn't mean you should not have accessibility. Like I mentioned if I was your fellow disabled neighbor I would help construct this. Tools needed: Tape measure x 2 I always end up needing 2 of them at times. 4 ft level. Carpenter square. Torpedo level. This is a 1 foot long smaller level like the larger 4ft one. Carpenter or construction style pencil ✏️ they are flat and don't roll away when sat down. Wood/deck screws 3 or 4in long. Cordless drill and 2 batteries allows rotation of them when charging. They typically will last 2 or hours each. So when one runs out charge it while using the other. Leather work gloves. Socket wrench set for lag bolts. Screw driver set. Mainly a number 2 Phillips and flathead. These come in handy. Circular saw - they come corded or cordless either works. Hand saw for those cuts to awkward for a power tool. Drill bits for pre drilling holes. Liquid nails to glue some things together. Short wood screws not longer than the plywood is thick. For the grip tape strips. Safety glasses get a few pair. Hearing protection. Cutting wood can be really loud. Same with drilling it and all. Things that could help: Something stable to place wood to be cut on. Saw horses or milk crates the sturdy plastic ones. If they get cut into no big deal. They cut be cut safely on the ground without risk of damaging tools or injuring you. Since we are all in the same boat 🚢 in many respects, I find it sp satisfying helping people by helping them learn how they can also help themselves. It's how I was raised. Knowing you have some information and know where to locate more is my payment. Back to me talking about my live content. A lot like this post and my others, it is insanely boring stuff. 😴 However, I ask what other content creator is willing to discuss and cover this type of stuff? Really go look on Twitch live, YouTube live, TikTok Live, Kick,Instagram Live or any other site allowing live content. How many do you find that can answer questions or get you aimed in the correct direction for the information you need? 16 years now this is what I do for free. I will not and do not monetize my content. I removed myself from Twitch affiliate orogram, I have asked TikTok to allow offboarding and the option to not monetize. I prefer to lead by example. Please consider getting to know this strange goofball of a weirdo on my social media channels. It's not a big community but any means and is well sp unique that most people fail to realize all the nerdy disability related bits of knowledge I have to share. Plus I love light sabers and anime to make me extra geeky. AbiliTV and AbiliTV Live on the main social media platforms. On TikTok my actual username is AbiliTV and my screen or showing name is DJ Wheelchairbeats. If you visit tell me your from Reddit and I will in a very socially awkward way greet you. Well I hope with practice this gets less awkward in time. :) I am not seeking a relationship. Or any side quests. I am at level 54 in my life and to old to give a fart for drama. Making cool new friends, now that's what it's about. Time to get some photos of my garage ramp. |
2024.04.28 23:43 Ok_Web_1877 Review: Guy Tries to CHEAT On DRIVING TEST, He Instantly Regrets It
This is another “so bad it’s good” video, starring Chas Laughlin. Chas makes even the most objectively bad videos entertaining, and boy is this video objectively bad, yet also entertaining. This is the video where I noticed a particular trope. More on that later.
We start off with Tim (Chas) jamming out in his car while driving past the longest white fence in existence. Seriously, that’s the green screen they chose for the entirety of the drive. He is on his way to take his driver’s test, and is accompanied by the obligatory narc friend, Paul (Carlos Chavez). Typical preachiness of the narc friend ensues, but Tim is confident that he will pass this driving test due to him stealing the answer sheet to the written test and using his dad’s self-driving Tesla.
Tim explains that he would’ve passed the written test even without cheating but wanted a sure-thing because he has a delivery driver job lined up that pays…. $40 an hour?!?!?!?! For a delivery job with absolutely 0 prior training or driving experience??? Holy shit! For an absolute entry level job that is (assuming this full time) over 80000 a year. Fuck, I wish I could’ve done that in my early 20’s.
Anyway, Tim tells Paul to go do something else while he takes his written… wait what? He hasn’t taken the written test yet??? He just explained how he had to cheat (note: past tense) on the written exam for a sure fire thing. But more than that, if you don’t pass the written test, you won’t be scheduled for the driving test to begin with. But apparently not in Dhar Mann land. So if you take both simultaneously rather than sequentially, what happens if you pass one but not the other? 🤔
Now is a good time to address a major part of where this video loses me. It’s been mentioned a few times up to this point, but now id like to get it out of the way. Tim’s plan is to cheat in the driving test with this self-driving tesla. I don’t know about you, but I have never seen or heard of a single person being allowed to take their test in anything other than one of cars owned by the DMV/RMV (brief aside: what is the difference, if any, between those two terms?) and at the very least, I have NEVER seen a driving test be done in a car where the passenger side (for the instructor) didn’t have their own break pedals.
So Chas goes into the DMV or RMV whatever it’s called and Rebecca Ritz is working as a Clerk (is that the right term? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ll just keep saying it for now). I used to really dislike Rebecca’s role here, but I just went to a DMV the other day and Rebecca’s character is no exaggeration… so yeah she actually nails it. Tim runs into his driver’s ed teacher, who is played by the asshole teacher that snitched on Devon for bad grades after Devon got literally assaulted. Teacher says that ironically his wife works there and that- wait… what?
How is it ironic that a driver’s ed teacher is married to a person who works at the dmv? Those are as adjacent as fields can possibly be… irony would be like a doctor married to a mortician or some shit.
Teacher asks Tim if Tim has seen his answer key. Then a few minutes go by where Tim tries to hide it. We move on to Tim taking his test outside. Tim is greeted by this Anderson Cooper-looking guy who serves as his driving instructor.
Anderson Cooper is impressed with how good of a driver Tim is, and Tim makes the dumbass mistake of basically narcing on himself. “Sometimes I drive so smooth that people think the car drives itself.” So Anderson Cooper obviously susses out Tim’s self driving car, and Tim crashes when Anderson Cooper makes him park the car for real.
I don’t recall having to parallel park near actual cars. It’s been over 10 years but I think I just had to park around cones. I could be misremembering.
Tim fails his driving test but is also freaking out that he damaged his dad’s Tesla. He tries to bribe Anderson Cooper but it doesn’t work. Tim goes inside to try and schedule a new driving test, but Anderson Cooper tells him that it’s a federal crime to do a hit and run… no. Not whatsoever. A crime? Yes. A federal one? No.
So Tim talks to the clerk again, and this where the realism starts to dissipate in Rebecca’s character. She gets all exasperated and starts having an actual investment in Tim’s test results, which is horseshit. They don’t care in real life. They are robots. Much less to yell “COLLISION?!” Like Rebecca does. The clerk leaves to get Tim’s test results, which I don’t understand. Like… he failed the driving test regardless so what does it even matter at this point? While she’s gone, Tim runs into his teacher again, and teacher tells him that he conveniently made a brand new answer sheet and- No. Bullshit. I call shenanigans.
Unless you are actively trying to sabotage somebody taking a test, you would not have a faulty answer key, ever. That’s not remotely convenient and defeats the whole purpose. I know they say the questions are the same but in random order, but when mass grading tests, you still have to jump around, which makes the point of the key obsolete.
This is also a plot hole, because even IF the teacher had a new answer key made, there is ZERO chance he would’ve been able to change the whole test and distribute it before Tim took his test.
The clerk comes back and is for some reason shocked to see her husband (the teacher, which btw was supposed to be a plot twist even though he literally talks about his wife working there immediately after she’s introduced…) at the dmv. Which again, like I said earlier about him calling this relationship “ironic”, how is this even remotely shocking? They are adjacent career fields.
Anyway, it turns out the teacher came back become some imbecile hit his car… soooo did he walk here? 🤔 Tim realizes that he was the one who hit the teacher’s car and tries to leave, but the clerk reveals that Tim got a 0 on his written exam.
The teacher compares Tim’s answers to the faulty answer key, and finds they are an exact match. Tim immediately gets accused of cheating, but this has more reasonable doubt than you think. However unlikely, it’s still 100% possible for somebody’s answers to be the same as a faulty answer sheet. This is circumstantial at the very best.
The “ironic” couple puts the pieces together that Tim hit the Teacher’s car. Just on cue for yet another contrivance, Anderson Cooper walks in on snitches on Tim for the crash and the attempted bribing.
By the way, this “bribe” wouldn’t even hold up in court anyway. Tim didn’t even mention money, he alluded to it, but left it purposefully ambiguous enough.
So Tim gets arrested by the security team and- No. once again… bullshit. Security would never ever be called for this. This security team uses crazy excessive force to subdue Tim. The clerk then smugly tells Tim that cheating on a government exam is a Federal Crime. sigh NO IT FUCKING ISNT. Even this were punishable you wouldn’t get fucking arrested with excessive force like this. At most, you would get suspended from trying again for x amount of time.
But we’re not done! Because this super punchable Anderson Cooper-looking douche tacks on to the Federal Crime bullshit with “as is trying to bribe a federal employee!” Shut the fuck up Anderson Cooper. You’re not some fucking FBI agent or some shit, you’re a test instructor for your local municipal government. There’s absolutely NOTHING on a federal level happening at this establishment. You can tell that it’s this guy’s first day on the job with his heightened sense of self importance.
So we cut to Tim being actually fucking arrested outside by the police. Okay, at least Dhar knew that actual cops have to arrest you and not the security team bringing you to jail. Remember Tim’s Narc friend, Paul? Because I barely do. By yet another extreme coincidence, Tim has Paul take a call from his dad…. And Paul just completely and utterly rats Tim out to his Dad!!! Everything, borrowing the Tesla, failing the exam, crashing, all of it! Tim’s dad is more concerned about the car than Tim and hopes he goes to jail for a long time. Wow, fuck you too, Dad. Paul repeats the “if you cheat you’ll never-“ and gets cut off by the police closing the door and driving away. Even they don’t want to listen to this stupid shit any more.
You know, the more I watched of this, the more I realized just how fucking bad it is. Awful. But now, allow me to be a bit more constructive.
The message of the video is “if you cheat, you’ll never get ahead.” Okay, that’s fair. So here is my suggested rewrite:
Tim cheats on both the written and driving portions of the exam. He passes both. He takes his new job, but things go downhill really fucking fast once he realizes he can’t drive for shit since these delivery trucks are not self driving. Boom. Done. How the hell did I write a better resolution to this in 3 sentences than Dhar Mann could tell in 20 minute video????
submitted by Ok_Web_1877 to dharmann [link] [comments]
We start off with Tim (Chas) jamming out in his car while driving past the longest white fence in existence. Seriously, that’s the green screen they chose for the entirety of the drive. He is on his way to take his driver’s test, and is accompanied by the obligatory narc friend, Paul (Carlos Chavez). Typical preachiness of the narc friend ensues, but Tim is confident that he will pass this driving test due to him stealing the answer sheet to the written test and using his dad’s self-driving Tesla.
Tim explains that he would’ve passed the written test even without cheating but wanted a sure-thing because he has a delivery driver job lined up that pays…. $40 an hour?!?!?!?! For a delivery job with absolutely 0 prior training or driving experience??? Holy shit! For an absolute entry level job that is (assuming this full time) over 80000 a year. Fuck, I wish I could’ve done that in my early 20’s.
Anyway, Tim tells Paul to go do something else while he takes his written… wait what? He hasn’t taken the written test yet??? He just explained how he had to cheat (note: past tense) on the written exam for a sure fire thing. But more than that, if you don’t pass the written test, you won’t be scheduled for the driving test to begin with. But apparently not in Dhar Mann land. So if you take both simultaneously rather than sequentially, what happens if you pass one but not the other? 🤔
Now is a good time to address a major part of where this video loses me. It’s been mentioned a few times up to this point, but now id like to get it out of the way. Tim’s plan is to cheat in the driving test with this self-driving tesla. I don’t know about you, but I have never seen or heard of a single person being allowed to take their test in anything other than one of cars owned by the DMV/RMV (brief aside: what is the difference, if any, between those two terms?) and at the very least, I have NEVER seen a driving test be done in a car where the passenger side (for the instructor) didn’t have their own break pedals.
So Chas goes into the DMV or RMV whatever it’s called and Rebecca Ritz is working as a Clerk (is that the right term? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ll just keep saying it for now). I used to really dislike Rebecca’s role here, but I just went to a DMV the other day and Rebecca’s character is no exaggeration… so yeah she actually nails it. Tim runs into his driver’s ed teacher, who is played by the asshole teacher that snitched on Devon for bad grades after Devon got literally assaulted. Teacher says that ironically his wife works there and that- wait… what?
How is it ironic that a driver’s ed teacher is married to a person who works at the dmv? Those are as adjacent as fields can possibly be… irony would be like a doctor married to a mortician or some shit.
Teacher asks Tim if Tim has seen his answer key. Then a few minutes go by where Tim tries to hide it. We move on to Tim taking his test outside. Tim is greeted by this Anderson Cooper-looking guy who serves as his driving instructor.
Anderson Cooper is impressed with how good of a driver Tim is, and Tim makes the dumbass mistake of basically narcing on himself. “Sometimes I drive so smooth that people think the car drives itself.” So Anderson Cooper obviously susses out Tim’s self driving car, and Tim crashes when Anderson Cooper makes him park the car for real.
I don’t recall having to parallel park near actual cars. It’s been over 10 years but I think I just had to park around cones. I could be misremembering.
Tim fails his driving test but is also freaking out that he damaged his dad’s Tesla. He tries to bribe Anderson Cooper but it doesn’t work. Tim goes inside to try and schedule a new driving test, but Anderson Cooper tells him that it’s a federal crime to do a hit and run… no. Not whatsoever. A crime? Yes. A federal one? No.
So Tim talks to the clerk again, and this where the realism starts to dissipate in Rebecca’s character. She gets all exasperated and starts having an actual investment in Tim’s test results, which is horseshit. They don’t care in real life. They are robots. Much less to yell “COLLISION?!” Like Rebecca does. The clerk leaves to get Tim’s test results, which I don’t understand. Like… he failed the driving test regardless so what does it even matter at this point? While she’s gone, Tim runs into his teacher again, and teacher tells him that he conveniently made a brand new answer sheet and- No. Bullshit. I call shenanigans.
Unless you are actively trying to sabotage somebody taking a test, you would not have a faulty answer key, ever. That’s not remotely convenient and defeats the whole purpose. I know they say the questions are the same but in random order, but when mass grading tests, you still have to jump around, which makes the point of the key obsolete.
This is also a plot hole, because even IF the teacher had a new answer key made, there is ZERO chance he would’ve been able to change the whole test and distribute it before Tim took his test.
The clerk comes back and is for some reason shocked to see her husband (the teacher, which btw was supposed to be a plot twist even though he literally talks about his wife working there immediately after she’s introduced…) at the dmv. Which again, like I said earlier about him calling this relationship “ironic”, how is this even remotely shocking? They are adjacent career fields.
Anyway, it turns out the teacher came back become some imbecile hit his car… soooo did he walk here? 🤔 Tim realizes that he was the one who hit the teacher’s car and tries to leave, but the clerk reveals that Tim got a 0 on his written exam.
The teacher compares Tim’s answers to the faulty answer key, and finds they are an exact match. Tim immediately gets accused of cheating, but this has more reasonable doubt than you think. However unlikely, it’s still 100% possible for somebody’s answers to be the same as a faulty answer sheet. This is circumstantial at the very best.
The “ironic” couple puts the pieces together that Tim hit the Teacher’s car. Just on cue for yet another contrivance, Anderson Cooper walks in on snitches on Tim for the crash and the attempted bribing.
By the way, this “bribe” wouldn’t even hold up in court anyway. Tim didn’t even mention money, he alluded to it, but left it purposefully ambiguous enough.
So Tim gets arrested by the security team and- No. once again… bullshit. Security would never ever be called for this. This security team uses crazy excessive force to subdue Tim. The clerk then smugly tells Tim that cheating on a government exam is a Federal Crime. sigh NO IT FUCKING ISNT. Even this were punishable you wouldn’t get fucking arrested with excessive force like this. At most, you would get suspended from trying again for x amount of time.
But we’re not done! Because this super punchable Anderson Cooper-looking douche tacks on to the Federal Crime bullshit with “as is trying to bribe a federal employee!” Shut the fuck up Anderson Cooper. You’re not some fucking FBI agent or some shit, you’re a test instructor for your local municipal government. There’s absolutely NOTHING on a federal level happening at this establishment. You can tell that it’s this guy’s first day on the job with his heightened sense of self importance.
So we cut to Tim being actually fucking arrested outside by the police. Okay, at least Dhar knew that actual cops have to arrest you and not the security team bringing you to jail. Remember Tim’s Narc friend, Paul? Because I barely do. By yet another extreme coincidence, Tim has Paul take a call from his dad…. And Paul just completely and utterly rats Tim out to his Dad!!! Everything, borrowing the Tesla, failing the exam, crashing, all of it! Tim’s dad is more concerned about the car than Tim and hopes he goes to jail for a long time. Wow, fuck you too, Dad. Paul repeats the “if you cheat you’ll never-“ and gets cut off by the police closing the door and driving away. Even they don’t want to listen to this stupid shit any more.
You know, the more I watched of this, the more I realized just how fucking bad it is. Awful. But now, allow me to be a bit more constructive.
The message of the video is “if you cheat, you’ll never get ahead.” Okay, that’s fair. So here is my suggested rewrite:
Tim cheats on both the written and driving portions of the exam. He passes both. He takes his new job, but things go downhill really fucking fast once he realizes he can’t drive for shit since these delivery trucks are not self driving. Boom. Done. How the hell did I write a better resolution to this in 3 sentences than Dhar Mann could tell in 20 minute video????
2024.04.28 23:28 Milca44 Competiting for worst boyfriend award
I (23F) met my ex boyfriend in summer 2022. I was an ATC student and we had to take flying lessons for several weeks. So me and several friends from my class went and we all lived together. We had separate bedrooms but we would share a living room and a kitchen. With us there was a group of student pilots. All boys. I should have seen the red flag. When we arrived, since it was summer, my friends (we were mostly girls) and I all went to the swimming pool. Obviously we caught the eye of the student pilots because they were just boys in the center up until now. I spare you the details of how we got together but I ended up dating a student pilot : let’s name him Victor. One of my best friends (Mary) who was with me also started dating a pilot (Matthew). At first it was all sun and rainbows. The flying lessons ended for us and we went back to our regular school. But the student pilots had to take more lessons and they went to another center. There, they met girls from another class. I didn’t think much of it at the time because I was in love. When the boys finished their flying lessons they came back to school and we were together a lot. My friend Mary started to grow suspicious of a girl with who her boyfriend was chatting a lot that he met on the second flying center(Veronica). He told her she was just a friend and my Mary trusted him. A few months after, the boys had a very big party and they did not invited us because it was on a weekend and we had to work for an upcoming test (at least that was the excuse). My ex boyfriend then told me “just so you know we will sleep at Veronica’s house because she has a house there. But you can’t tell Mary or else she will get mad”. I was baffled that he would say such a thing knowing how close I was with Mary and how that would pain me. But I kept my mouth shut, out of love. When they came back on Monday, Matthew told Mary that he kissed Veronica at the party. She was distraught and didn’t know what to do. On that evening, we were supposed to have a couples dinner, Marie Matthew Victor me and two other friends. Matthew obliviously didn’t came. But Victor did come with me and I felt bad all evening because I was juggling between Victor and Mary. On one hand I felt so bad for what had happened to Mary but on the other I felt that it would make Victor uncomfortable if I spoke too badly of his friend. On the way home, I lashed out and said to Victor that his friend was and ass*ole for what he did. He agreed with me. Then all week, he became quite distant. I didn’t think much of it because we were both quite busy at school. But then we went to the restaurant and the movies on Friday night with friends. And in person he was just … cold. He refused my hugs, didn’t hold my hand ect. So I started to worry, wondering what I done wrong. It must have been my fault. We went back to my appartement and on the way back I ask him what’s the matter. He keeps answering me « nothing, everything is fine ». But nothing feels fine. When we arrive and I keep pushing him to tell me what’s wrong. He tells me « nothing, I know it will upset you and you have big exams next week, I will tell you after ». That did not stop me. On the contrary, I just wanted to know all the more. So finale he says « at the party last weekend I kissed a girl but it means nothing. I don’t even like her ». I am so surprised because I trusted him so much. Of course I cry a lot. We sleep in different beds and I spend the whole night thinking, wondering what I done wrong. On the next morning we speak and I ask him what does he wants to do. He tells me he doesn’t know. He needs time to think. The whole day is awful. And on Monday I go to class. I tell Marie everything. I take my exams. I think. A lot. On Wednesday, when I am done with exams Victor comes to my apartment to talk. Actually I see him arrive with all the stuff I left at his place. He tells me he thought about it a lot, but he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I beg him to stay, saying I will forgive him, that I love him. He says « I know myself, if we stay together I will do it again. So it’s better if we split up ». After that I cried a lot and went back to my family for Christmas Holidays. The cherry on top was that I gave him his Christmas presents because I didn’t want to find it when I came back. He obviously hadn’t buy me a gift (even thought Christmas was in like 4 days). Looking back at it I think he already knew he would break up with me so he didn’t need to buy me a present. I passed my exams with very good grades. Because turns out I can compartmentalize. Now, to how my life became a telenovela. Because every time I think this story is over, I learn something new. And since Mary likes gossip as much as I do and the girls they kissed have the same job than us, we would learn so much. So, Matthew and Veronica started dating. Just for context, Veronica also had a boyfriend at that time so she cheated on him (Gabriel) with Matthew. Victor and the girl he kissed (Karina) also start dating. Turns out this girl is 10 years older than him and was engaged to her boyfriend of ten years and was planning to join him were he lived after she finished her studies. She threw all of that away to date Victor. Since they all go to the same school as us we see them a lot. Marie and I start our first job thinking we are finally rid of them. We move to another city. And then we go to a Halloween party with friends. Victor is here with his friend and I am dressed as pugsley from the Addams family. What were the odds ? Turns out the odds were quite high since our friend forgot to mention that it was a party created by airlines companies. Of course one of Victor’s friends tells Mary that we came on purpose because we are so in love with them. Then we learn that Matthew almost never goes out anymore because his new girlfriend Veronica keeps him on a leash. A few month go by and nearly nothing happens. Marie and I are happy because Veronica and Karina have jobs in another city than us. And then, the holy graal. We learn that while Karina was away to visit something for school, Victor went to a dinner with a girl he had a crush on when he was younger. He went on a date while he already had his girlfriend Karina. And he told her. They still are together and are looking for a house together as I write this. As for Veronica and Matthew. She is becoming quite close with a boy that works at the same place as her. So who would you bet to be the first to be cheated on ? Or the first to cheat ? As for my revenge, I did a small petty thing : I had Victor netflix passwords so I created him the worst to watch film list : Everything but a man, Unforgivable, Little man, Megamind, Diary of a boy toy… This is almost nothing but it stills brings a smile on my face. The real revenge is that I can watch this shit show from far away with Mary while eating popcorn. I learn all the crusty details and realize what kind of bullet I dodged. Oh, and as pilots, Matthew and Victor will take orders from us their whole career.
submitted by Milca44 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 23:28 Aggravating-Sea-3715 i don't know what to do.
It’s kind of embarrassing writing all this on reddit but I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m in grade 11 rn and currently in a private school that’s pretty hard and requires lots of hard work to attain a high 80 and just overall having to be naturally smart to have a high 90. This school is full year like American schools and isn't semester based. I’m not stupid but it’s requiring too much work and effort and making me so drained. It’s unfair that I have to put in so much effort and not able to get into a good uni compared to kids in public who DO put in effort but not as much effort as you need to at this school. The guidance department sucks so can’t even ask them for help.
I’ve always wanted to be a dentist/doctor but I soon realized that I can’t pursue a career in it because im terrible at science and can’t keep my grade above a 80. I understand all the concepts and understand literally everything but on the tests and labs my understanding isn’t really evaluated. Maybe im making excuses but if other kids are able to get above a 90 and i cant it just shows i suck at science. I’ve been in private my whole life and my family isn’t well off either so it makes me feel even guiltier that I can’t make my parents proud and be a doctor like they wanted. Before this school year, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in uni and the programs to help become a doctor. But considering my grades I have to scrap that childhood plan. I want to pursue a career that obviously has a good pay because my parents hard work will mean nothing if I don’t get into a respectable uni and program like Mac or UofT. I’m not allowed to go and live away from home so my options are limited even more.
I was looking at eng programs bc I atleast do better and also enjoy math and physics and have a low 90 in those 2 courses atm. I was thinking of transferring to an hdsb public school to make my life easier and get better grades (Idropped chem12 this year bc I had a 77) so I was thinking of taking Chem12 in summer skl also taking comp sci 11. This way I could take Bio12, Adv func, Calc, Comp Sci 12, and International Business in the next school year in SEMESTERS at public school.
The point of this post is to know that if I decide to apply for both life sci and eng:
submitted by Aggravating-Sea-3715 to OntarioUniversities [link] [comments]
I’ve always wanted to be a dentist/doctor but I soon realized that I can’t pursue a career in it because im terrible at science and can’t keep my grade above a 80. I understand all the concepts and understand literally everything but on the tests and labs my understanding isn’t really evaluated. Maybe im making excuses but if other kids are able to get above a 90 and i cant it just shows i suck at science. I’ve been in private my whole life and my family isn’t well off either so it makes me feel even guiltier that I can’t make my parents proud and be a doctor like they wanted. Before this school year, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in uni and the programs to help become a doctor. But considering my grades I have to scrap that childhood plan. I want to pursue a career that obviously has a good pay because my parents hard work will mean nothing if I don’t get into a respectable uni and program like Mac or UofT. I’m not allowed to go and live away from home so my options are limited even more.
I was looking at eng programs bc I atleast do better and also enjoy math and physics and have a low 90 in those 2 courses atm. I was thinking of transferring to an hdsb public school to make my life easier and get better grades (Idropped chem12 this year bc I had a 77) so I was thinking of taking Chem12 in summer skl also taking comp sci 11. This way I could take Bio12, Adv func, Calc, Comp Sci 12, and International Business in the next school year in SEMESTERS at public school.
The point of this post is to know that if I decide to apply for both life sci and eng:
- Is it bad to take grade 12 chem in the summer? i have the knowledge from before I dropped so it could help if i took it in the summer. all I know is that Waterloo cares but I don’t wanna go there.
- Is switching to a public school for grade 12 a good idea. Of course I will be putting in lots of effort and working hard to maintain a high average but im hearing mixed responses from everyone.
2024.04.28 23:24 emperorceegle I believe I Astral Projected for the first time yesterday?
Alright this is going to be a long post I am about to write. I hope it is read and people will comment their opinions because I don't have many people to talk about this with.
Many many years ago, maybe after high school? (I'm 29 now) one of my best friends told me about Astral Projection and we looked into it and use to try doing it. We never got far, just those weird little vibrations/sensations in your body but unable to leave. There was one time I felt an extremely strong sensation, but couldn't leave my body and it was so intense that I shot right up in my bed. I didn't dedicate my life to it and naturally stopped trying to do it, however throughout the years ever since I moved to SC, about 7 years ago, I would have weird things happen to me whenever I would take a nap on my couch. I would take naps on the couch not to trying to practice AP but just because I was tired and would fall asleep. This wouldn't happen every time I'd take a nap on the couch there were very very few moments, but one particular time I remember napping on the couch it felt like I was being abducted and the body sensations were extremely stronger than I ever experienced before and I kept hearing really weird things outside, its hard to remember exactly what was going on with that experience because it was many years ago, the point being, it seems whenever I take a nap on the couch in my living room is when I get the strongest AP sensations because whenever I nap in my bed it doesn't really ever happen.
Keep in mind I stopped trying to AP and didn't even really think much about it anymore when that particular moment on the couch happened I did think of it and wondered if that's what it was, but nothing that intense never happened again. Yesterday, I took a nap not on my couch because 2 years ago I got a comfy lazy boy couch chair thing that pulls out and my cat loves to lay with me on it. What I experienced was the most wild thing I've ever encountered in my life and I am going to do my best to properly describe it. To put how crazy this felt to me I have done a lot of hallucinogens in my college days and experienced some CRAZY stuff, what happened to me yesterday took the #1 spot in wild experiences I have had in my whole life.
Its important to note I had the Islanders hockey game playing on my tv during this because that played a large part in what happened. I remember as I was drifting off into sleep those body sensations I've felt napping on my couch where happening, I didn't think of AP I just thought, wow I am feeling this weird feeling I've felt before on my couch napping. Eventually, I drifted off into sleep, but I was aware of my body being on the chair and the sensations I was feeling, and could hear the hockey game on my tv, but I was dreaming. I was having an extremely real dream where (and this is how I am interrupting it) it felt like I broke through into a different alternate life of mine. In my current life I grew up in long island NY and moved to SC and have lived here for about 7 years or so. In this different life of mine I still lived in SC, but I spent a lot more time visiting long island and spending many months at a time there, working all sorts of odd jobs while I was there. In this alternate life I was wanting to visit long island and I was thinking about/reliving all these odd jobs I did and had the thought, 'I wonder if they would let me work there again so I can be there for a couple months.' I kept dreaming of me working at these places, and where I would be staying at different spots on long island. The things I was living through kept changing rapidly and it was intense. It felt SO familiar to me that I kept thinking this actually happened to me in real life, and I felt bad because I forgot about all this stuff. While this was happening the sensations in my body escalated immensely and I could still hear the hockey game playing off my tv. An interesting detail I remember, I could hear the sports announcers talking about how the other team scored a goal and tied the game, this is where things get REALLY weird and I don't know what was a dream or what was me waking up. I remember hearing this on the tv and I don't know if I really opened my eyes or not, I am guessing I did, but when I opened my eyes and saw my tv I couldn't move, just look at the tv and I saw the score and what happened was accurate to what I heard. The sensations in my body were running extremely strong though, normally I would be scared like that one time on the couch I thought I was being abducted, but this time I enjoyed it and knew nothing bad was happening to me so I focused more and more on it.
What proceeded to happen next is difficult to describe, but I will do my best. I don't know what time it was, I don't know how long this happened to me, time completely disappeared in what happened next. So, I don't know what was me being awake and not, some parts I do know, but throughout this whole time, the tv playing, and my presence laying on my chair could be felt like I KNEW where my real body was and I could FEEL it and hear it. For the first time in years I thought about AP because what was happening to me sounded exactly like it did in my research I did on it many years ago. So, I tried to leave my body and there was a little TINY difficulty at first, but I lifted myself out pretty much almost immediately. I could never imagine in my life what this actually could feel like until I did it. I could 'feel' my body still laying in the chair, hearing the game on tv, but my 'spirit' (I'll call it) floated up into the air without my control. The first thing I did was turn around to see if I could see myself in my chair, but it was empty. At this point in my head I was thinking holy F'in S*it I can't believe this is happening. The body sensations were at its peek it felt like my body ingested a bunch of things that make massage chairs do its thing its like indescribable what I was feeling.
So, I floated through my house and this is where things get difficult to piece together. What proceeded to happen was every ten seconds? I don't know because time was like nonexistent, but it kept happening quick, I couldn't stay out of my body for long so I am going with 10-15 seconds I would float around and then be forced back into my body. What was difficult to remember is whether I was awake or dreaming because I kept seeing the tv and my living room when I went back into my body, but I could not move, every time I tried to move I kept leaving my body again and every time I did weirder stuff kept happening. The way I describe it is, I was moving into different dimensions (and I'm not saying I was actually moving into different dimensions this is just how it felt to me). I can't remember everything, but here's some stuff, one dimension there was a basement in the middle of this room I have my drum set in and I went into it and in the basement there were windows and I could see a huge mythical jungle outside, I really wanted to keep moving forward and go into it but I kept getting pulled back into my body having to restart the process all over again. Another time I flew straight up into the air, that one was 'quick' I guess it didn't feel like 10-15 seconds more like 5 and went back into my body. Another time there were these, and this one is gonna sound weird, really crappy SpongeBob drawings ALL over the walls of my apartment and for some reason in my head I came to the conclusion these were pictures my brother drew when he was younger, I even remember tearing one off the wall and looking at it. Another time I manipulated my spirit body into NOTHING like I was just a completely floating conscious and I could not feel my physical form AND I couldn't feel the sensations in my body this one was quick also, and like always forced right back into my body. This stuff kept happening over, and over again, something different would happen, sometimes I would just float around my house or float around outside, but then be forced back into my body looking at the TV I couldn't tell if that was me waking up and falling back asleep and leaving my body, but this cycle kept repeating for I have no idea how long. Eventually, it started to scare me because whenever I got back into my body I couldn't move, I thought I slipped into a coma, or I was dead, or this would last forever which is funny because I've felt that way on LSD before, if you know what I mean, you know. I also assumed I was napping for a while now even though I had no idea how much time had past, I feel like there was one point where I tried checking the time? There were a lot of things that happened and I can't remember most of them, but I knew I needed to wake up because my buddies would be waiting for me to get on discord and play video games with them.
There were times after leaving my body I would manipulate the 'body of my spirit' just to test the full potential of what was happening. The last thing I did as soon as I left my body, I reached into my eye socket and took my eye out and ate it, the 'body spirit me' felt it. I felt my eye like it was a little ball of energy I just consumed, don't know why I did it, I wasn't in much control of what was going on. It didn't even hurt, but I FELT it, I could feel the eye coming out of the socket and going into my mouth and down my throat and immediately dissipating when it got to my stomach. This sounds too crazy to make up right? I can't even believe just yesterday all this crazy stuff happened. I forced myself to wake up, I mean I had to FORCE it, I've been trapped in dreams before and I really had to summon some willpower to make myself wake up and move. Even after I woke up and moved, the sensations weren't strong, but it was still happening, I could still feel it. I immediately grabbed my phone and started texting my best buddy who was one of the people I was going to be gaming with soon and texted him like 10 different messages of what happened it was truly the most wildest thing ever. Then I went in our PSN fb group chat and started telling them all this they are really the only people I could talk to about this because we are all extremely close knowing each other for over 10 years and meeting up in real life several times to hangout. They were telling me to get into the discord, but I needed a moment to re-center myself its really tough to describe what happened especially to them after it just happened since then I've gathered my thoughts about it and wanted to make this reddit post. I felt WEIRD for a while, I hoped in the discord chat we started talking they were asking me about it because I sent like 20 messages about it lol but I felt different. I remember we hopped on The Finals and I was staring at the main menu screen and everything in life looked like it was 8k it was so weird. After about an hour I started to feel normally again as we were chatting and playing games my mind got distracted from what happened.
In conclusion, I don't know if Astral Projection is REAL or just in our heads and we are having wild dreams. I don't know if there is a spirit within me and I really left my physical body. I don't know if I was dreaming or experiencing it in real life. I don't know what happened and I can't say for sure. What I do know is I felt things and experienced something I have never even imagined was possible, what felt like a dream felt real to my body. You know how they say to recognize if you're dreaming or not to pinch yourself and if you don't feel anything you are? Well I did that and I felt that, in fact I could feel everything happening to me and not only did I feel it in my 'spirit body' but I felt it in my physical body on my couch, I could feel myself in two separate places somehow. I found it odd when I turned around to look at myself the chair was empty, I've heard stories that you could see yourself, but I didn't? I had another experience today because of course I wanted to try it again, and I am convinced it was Astral Projection even though I can't say for sure if it's real or a dream, but this post has gone on long enough and I need a break from writing lol I will comment on this post what happened today because it was interesting and quick so it wont be a million words long.
Please, read my post, let me know your opinions, I need people to talk about this with because I can't stop thinking about it .-.
submitted by emperorceegle to AstralProjection [link] [comments]
Many many years ago, maybe after high school? (I'm 29 now) one of my best friends told me about Astral Projection and we looked into it and use to try doing it. We never got far, just those weird little vibrations/sensations in your body but unable to leave. There was one time I felt an extremely strong sensation, but couldn't leave my body and it was so intense that I shot right up in my bed. I didn't dedicate my life to it and naturally stopped trying to do it, however throughout the years ever since I moved to SC, about 7 years ago, I would have weird things happen to me whenever I would take a nap on my couch. I would take naps on the couch not to trying to practice AP but just because I was tired and would fall asleep. This wouldn't happen every time I'd take a nap on the couch there were very very few moments, but one particular time I remember napping on the couch it felt like I was being abducted and the body sensations were extremely stronger than I ever experienced before and I kept hearing really weird things outside, its hard to remember exactly what was going on with that experience because it was many years ago, the point being, it seems whenever I take a nap on the couch in my living room is when I get the strongest AP sensations because whenever I nap in my bed it doesn't really ever happen.
Keep in mind I stopped trying to AP and didn't even really think much about it anymore when that particular moment on the couch happened I did think of it and wondered if that's what it was, but nothing that intense never happened again. Yesterday, I took a nap not on my couch because 2 years ago I got a comfy lazy boy couch chair thing that pulls out and my cat loves to lay with me on it. What I experienced was the most wild thing I've ever encountered in my life and I am going to do my best to properly describe it. To put how crazy this felt to me I have done a lot of hallucinogens in my college days and experienced some CRAZY stuff, what happened to me yesterday took the #1 spot in wild experiences I have had in my whole life.
Its important to note I had the Islanders hockey game playing on my tv during this because that played a large part in what happened. I remember as I was drifting off into sleep those body sensations I've felt napping on my couch where happening, I didn't think of AP I just thought, wow I am feeling this weird feeling I've felt before on my couch napping. Eventually, I drifted off into sleep, but I was aware of my body being on the chair and the sensations I was feeling, and could hear the hockey game on my tv, but I was dreaming. I was having an extremely real dream where (and this is how I am interrupting it) it felt like I broke through into a different alternate life of mine. In my current life I grew up in long island NY and moved to SC and have lived here for about 7 years or so. In this different life of mine I still lived in SC, but I spent a lot more time visiting long island and spending many months at a time there, working all sorts of odd jobs while I was there. In this alternate life I was wanting to visit long island and I was thinking about/reliving all these odd jobs I did and had the thought, 'I wonder if they would let me work there again so I can be there for a couple months.' I kept dreaming of me working at these places, and where I would be staying at different spots on long island. The things I was living through kept changing rapidly and it was intense. It felt SO familiar to me that I kept thinking this actually happened to me in real life, and I felt bad because I forgot about all this stuff. While this was happening the sensations in my body escalated immensely and I could still hear the hockey game playing off my tv. An interesting detail I remember, I could hear the sports announcers talking about how the other team scored a goal and tied the game, this is where things get REALLY weird and I don't know what was a dream or what was me waking up. I remember hearing this on the tv and I don't know if I really opened my eyes or not, I am guessing I did, but when I opened my eyes and saw my tv I couldn't move, just look at the tv and I saw the score and what happened was accurate to what I heard. The sensations in my body were running extremely strong though, normally I would be scared like that one time on the couch I thought I was being abducted, but this time I enjoyed it and knew nothing bad was happening to me so I focused more and more on it.
What proceeded to happen next is difficult to describe, but I will do my best. I don't know what time it was, I don't know how long this happened to me, time completely disappeared in what happened next. So, I don't know what was me being awake and not, some parts I do know, but throughout this whole time, the tv playing, and my presence laying on my chair could be felt like I KNEW where my real body was and I could FEEL it and hear it. For the first time in years I thought about AP because what was happening to me sounded exactly like it did in my research I did on it many years ago. So, I tried to leave my body and there was a little TINY difficulty at first, but I lifted myself out pretty much almost immediately. I could never imagine in my life what this actually could feel like until I did it. I could 'feel' my body still laying in the chair, hearing the game on tv, but my 'spirit' (I'll call it) floated up into the air without my control. The first thing I did was turn around to see if I could see myself in my chair, but it was empty. At this point in my head I was thinking holy F'in S*it I can't believe this is happening. The body sensations were at its peek it felt like my body ingested a bunch of things that make massage chairs do its thing its like indescribable what I was feeling.
So, I floated through my house and this is where things get difficult to piece together. What proceeded to happen was every ten seconds? I don't know because time was like nonexistent, but it kept happening quick, I couldn't stay out of my body for long so I am going with 10-15 seconds I would float around and then be forced back into my body. What was difficult to remember is whether I was awake or dreaming because I kept seeing the tv and my living room when I went back into my body, but I could not move, every time I tried to move I kept leaving my body again and every time I did weirder stuff kept happening. The way I describe it is, I was moving into different dimensions (and I'm not saying I was actually moving into different dimensions this is just how it felt to me). I can't remember everything, but here's some stuff, one dimension there was a basement in the middle of this room I have my drum set in and I went into it and in the basement there were windows and I could see a huge mythical jungle outside, I really wanted to keep moving forward and go into it but I kept getting pulled back into my body having to restart the process all over again. Another time I flew straight up into the air, that one was 'quick' I guess it didn't feel like 10-15 seconds more like 5 and went back into my body. Another time there were these, and this one is gonna sound weird, really crappy SpongeBob drawings ALL over the walls of my apartment and for some reason in my head I came to the conclusion these were pictures my brother drew when he was younger, I even remember tearing one off the wall and looking at it. Another time I manipulated my spirit body into NOTHING like I was just a completely floating conscious and I could not feel my physical form AND I couldn't feel the sensations in my body this one was quick also, and like always forced right back into my body. This stuff kept happening over, and over again, something different would happen, sometimes I would just float around my house or float around outside, but then be forced back into my body looking at the TV I couldn't tell if that was me waking up and falling back asleep and leaving my body, but this cycle kept repeating for I have no idea how long. Eventually, it started to scare me because whenever I got back into my body I couldn't move, I thought I slipped into a coma, or I was dead, or this would last forever which is funny because I've felt that way on LSD before, if you know what I mean, you know. I also assumed I was napping for a while now even though I had no idea how much time had past, I feel like there was one point where I tried checking the time? There were a lot of things that happened and I can't remember most of them, but I knew I needed to wake up because my buddies would be waiting for me to get on discord and play video games with them.
There were times after leaving my body I would manipulate the 'body of my spirit' just to test the full potential of what was happening. The last thing I did as soon as I left my body, I reached into my eye socket and took my eye out and ate it, the 'body spirit me' felt it. I felt my eye like it was a little ball of energy I just consumed, don't know why I did it, I wasn't in much control of what was going on. It didn't even hurt, but I FELT it, I could feel the eye coming out of the socket and going into my mouth and down my throat and immediately dissipating when it got to my stomach. This sounds too crazy to make up right? I can't even believe just yesterday all this crazy stuff happened. I forced myself to wake up, I mean I had to FORCE it, I've been trapped in dreams before and I really had to summon some willpower to make myself wake up and move. Even after I woke up and moved, the sensations weren't strong, but it was still happening, I could still feel it. I immediately grabbed my phone and started texting my best buddy who was one of the people I was going to be gaming with soon and texted him like 10 different messages of what happened it was truly the most wildest thing ever. Then I went in our PSN fb group chat and started telling them all this they are really the only people I could talk to about this because we are all extremely close knowing each other for over 10 years and meeting up in real life several times to hangout. They were telling me to get into the discord, but I needed a moment to re-center myself its really tough to describe what happened especially to them after it just happened since then I've gathered my thoughts about it and wanted to make this reddit post. I felt WEIRD for a while, I hoped in the discord chat we started talking they were asking me about it because I sent like 20 messages about it lol but I felt different. I remember we hopped on The Finals and I was staring at the main menu screen and everything in life looked like it was 8k it was so weird. After about an hour I started to feel normally again as we were chatting and playing games my mind got distracted from what happened.
In conclusion, I don't know if Astral Projection is REAL or just in our heads and we are having wild dreams. I don't know if there is a spirit within me and I really left my physical body. I don't know if I was dreaming or experiencing it in real life. I don't know what happened and I can't say for sure. What I do know is I felt things and experienced something I have never even imagined was possible, what felt like a dream felt real to my body. You know how they say to recognize if you're dreaming or not to pinch yourself and if you don't feel anything you are? Well I did that and I felt that, in fact I could feel everything happening to me and not only did I feel it in my 'spirit body' but I felt it in my physical body on my couch, I could feel myself in two separate places somehow. I found it odd when I turned around to look at myself the chair was empty, I've heard stories that you could see yourself, but I didn't? I had another experience today because of course I wanted to try it again, and I am convinced it was Astral Projection even though I can't say for sure if it's real or a dream, but this post has gone on long enough and I need a break from writing lol I will comment on this post what happened today because it was interesting and quick so it wont be a million words long.
Please, read my post, let me know your opinions, I need people to talk about this with because I can't stop thinking about it .-.
2024.04.28 23:12 novabss I said no to med-school. Try again? Ego? Putting your self worth in academics
Okay I'm super anxious right now, so I'll just try and write it out the best I can.
I've struggled for a long time with self confidence issues. Especially concerning academics. I was never the gifted kid. I was the one who wasn't particularly interested in school, and I tried the best I could to avoid responsibilities. I'd skip school the days I knew I had a test, or a presentation, and I pretty much became an expert in staying under the radar. I didn't like school, or the people in my class. I felt like they were acting fake to fit in, and I didn't have the energy for that. Of course both my grades and my social life suffered, and I felt like a complete failure. I did somehow manage to pass all my subjects, but my average(gpa) was mediocre.
After high school I served in the navy as a medic, and during that time, I experienced joy for learning for pretty much the first time. I would spend the evenings reading up on every subject you can imagine, and found biology, chemistry and first aid to be especially interesting.
I got addicted to filling my academic holes from middle and high school, and to "reclaim" my worth. So much so, that I spent an entire year to study the first year-curriculum of nursing school, even before I entered the program. I was so afraid of feeling behind, and like a failure, I made it my mission to learn everything beforehand.
I did really good in nursing, but my ego must have grown, because I wanted to aim higher. I decided to drop out of nursing, and work towards med school. I spent everyday studying for the entrance exam, and I (miraculously) got in!
I was over the moon, but I got also super anxious. I felt like an imposter because my grades from high school was still the same, and I was still that "inadequate kid". I didn't feel worthy, and a part of me felt like I was being selfish. How can I even consider medical school? Me? That doesn't make sense. You're not good enough. You're going to accidentially kill somebody. How will you live with yourself? What if you make a stupid mathematical error, and give a patient a wrong dose of something? What then? Suicide?
Well, as the title says, I declined the offer.
And I hate it. Every fiber of my body wants to be a med-student. Mostly because I love physiology, anatomy and biochemistry, but also sincerely because I feel a sense of purpose when I help people. Recently though, I've started to think my ego played a bigger role than I thought. A part of me want to prove to myself (and to the world) that I can also do it.
So here I am again, and I just paid for the entrance exam in july. I am so terrified, and my body is attacking me with these waves of anxiety. I feel out of control, and I don't know what to do. I shut down when I think about the choice I have to make, and I isolate myself from everyone. I barely eat, and I almost never go out.
This turned into a long post, although I'd really appreciate some words of advice if you have any.
submitted by novabss to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
I've struggled for a long time with self confidence issues. Especially concerning academics. I was never the gifted kid. I was the one who wasn't particularly interested in school, and I tried the best I could to avoid responsibilities. I'd skip school the days I knew I had a test, or a presentation, and I pretty much became an expert in staying under the radar. I didn't like school, or the people in my class. I felt like they were acting fake to fit in, and I didn't have the energy for that. Of course both my grades and my social life suffered, and I felt like a complete failure. I did somehow manage to pass all my subjects, but my average(gpa) was mediocre.
After high school I served in the navy as a medic, and during that time, I experienced joy for learning for pretty much the first time. I would spend the evenings reading up on every subject you can imagine, and found biology, chemistry and first aid to be especially interesting.
I got addicted to filling my academic holes from middle and high school, and to "reclaim" my worth. So much so, that I spent an entire year to study the first year-curriculum of nursing school, even before I entered the program. I was so afraid of feeling behind, and like a failure, I made it my mission to learn everything beforehand.
I did really good in nursing, but my ego must have grown, because I wanted to aim higher. I decided to drop out of nursing, and work towards med school. I spent everyday studying for the entrance exam, and I (miraculously) got in!
I was over the moon, but I got also super anxious. I felt like an imposter because my grades from high school was still the same, and I was still that "inadequate kid". I didn't feel worthy, and a part of me felt like I was being selfish. How can I even consider medical school? Me? That doesn't make sense. You're not good enough. You're going to accidentially kill somebody. How will you live with yourself? What if you make a stupid mathematical error, and give a patient a wrong dose of something? What then? Suicide?
Well, as the title says, I declined the offer.
And I hate it. Every fiber of my body wants to be a med-student. Mostly because I love physiology, anatomy and biochemistry, but also sincerely because I feel a sense of purpose when I help people. Recently though, I've started to think my ego played a bigger role than I thought. A part of me want to prove to myself (and to the world) that I can also do it.
So here I am again, and I just paid for the entrance exam in july. I am so terrified, and my body is attacking me with these waves of anxiety. I feel out of control, and I don't know what to do. I shut down when I think about the choice I have to make, and I isolate myself from everyone. I barely eat, and I almost never go out.
This turned into a long post, although I'd really appreciate some words of advice if you have any.
2024.04.28 22:43 organic_hobnob Malingering patient?
Hi, so for some context, I work in healthcare. I'm also a patient myself, im missing a leg and have a TBI from a RTC. I've posted here before, and right now am posting because I'm not entirely sure what to do. I'm going to keep things vague for this persons privacy.
Today I came in contact with a new person who has recently joined my social circle. We are not friends, but they are very close to one of my best girlfriends. They know about my job and asked if I would do an assessment on them, and give them some suggestions on managing her health conditions. This is not unusual for me, I have offered this to others in the past, for free, as its good for gathering case studies and waiting lists can be long in my country, do is beneficial for the patient. She seemed keen for me to write them a letter detailing her limitations, so she could participate in a parasport she was interested in.
Anyway, I meet up with this pt and do an assessment on them. The condition is neuro. An accident at home resulted in SCI. The first unusal thing to note was the mechanism of injury did not at all suggest SCI. Anyway, I don't know how else to say this but.. she was faking. And like, not very well! She claimed several things that did not reflect in her test results. I'll give some examples. Sorry if its a bit clinically worded, but i want you guys to understand I have a real serious reasons for questioning this patient:
submitted by organic_hobnob to ChronicIllness [link] [comments]
Today I came in contact with a new person who has recently joined my social circle. We are not friends, but they are very close to one of my best girlfriends. They know about my job and asked if I would do an assessment on them, and give them some suggestions on managing her health conditions. This is not unusual for me, I have offered this to others in the past, for free, as its good for gathering case studies and waiting lists can be long in my country, do is beneficial for the patient. She seemed keen for me to write them a letter detailing her limitations, so she could participate in a parasport she was interested in.
Anyway, I meet up with this pt and do an assessment on them. The condition is neuro. An accident at home resulted in SCI. The first unusal thing to note was the mechanism of injury did not at all suggest SCI. Anyway, I don't know how else to say this but.. she was faking. And like, not very well! She claimed several things that did not reflect in her test results. I'll give some examples. Sorry if its a bit clinically worded, but i want you guys to understand I have a real serious reasons for questioning this patient:
- total LL paralysis for more than 2 decades but completely normal healthy muscle hypertrophy in both legs. Muscle felt healthy, no contracture, no abnormal tone, no clonus. Full passive range of movement.
- negative (healthy) Bobinsky reflex
- normal deep tendon reflexes- not brisk (indercating CNS injury) or absent (peripheral nerve injury). Just normal healthy reflex. Reflexes were at first absent until I got the patient to do the Jendrassik maneuver. This is a maneuver we get the patient to do so they can't resist the reflex. I asked this patient to do it because I felt they were trying not to illicit a response to this test.
- when asked to walk in parallel bars, patient walked with 'stiff' straight legs (despite no high tone) the patient also claimed to have no function from the hip down, but was clearly engaging hipflexors, quads, and plantaDorsi flexors when walking. No collapse of knee, knee was stable through weight bearing stance. No hyper extension, so not resting on joints. Despite clearly engaging hip flexor when walking, she was 'unable' to lift her thigh towards her when sitting, even with support. Did a muscle grading test whilst she 'tried' and she scored 0. Absolutely impossible considering she literally just walked.
- I did dermatone testing with her and the lack of sensation was completely inconsistent with her supposed level of SCI.
- no bladder or bowel issues despite complete SCI at a level which you would expect to see bladder a bowel complications with.
- negative clonus test despite supposed CNS injury. No catching, no locking, no spasticity.
- patient history inconsistent. Said not to have visited the doctor until a few days after the accident, despite being paraplegic at the time... like... what??
- repeatedly discharged from neuro but keeps going back. Apparently 'doctors are shit' and that's why. My thoughts are they have identified her as a malingerer, but she keeps finding excuses to be refferd back.
- was not able to provide me with any written history or test results from previous consults.
2024.04.28 22:43 Aggravating-Sea-3715 i don't know what to do.
It’s kind of embarrassing writing all this on reddit but I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m in grade 11 rn and currently in a private school that’s pretty hard and requires lots of hard work to attain a high 80 and just overall having to be naturally smart to have a high 90. This school is full year like American schools and isn't semester based. I’m not stupid but it’s requiring too much work and effort and making me so drained. It’s unfair that I have to put in so much effort and not able to get into a good uni compared to kids in public who DO put in effort but not as much effort as you need to at this school. The guidance department sucks so can’t even ask them for help.
I’ve always wanted to be a dentist/doctor but I soon realized that I can’t pursue a career in it because im terrible at science and can’t keep my grade above a 80. I understand all the concepts and understand literally everything but on the tests and labs my understanding isn’t really evaluated. Maybe im making excuses but if other kids are able to get above a 90 and i cant it just shows i suck at science. I’ve been in private my whole life and my family isn’t well off either so it makes me feel even guiltier that I can’t make my parents proud and be a doctor like they wanted. Before this school year, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in uni and the programs to help become a doctor. But considering my grades I have to scrap that childhood plan. I want to pursue a career that obviously has a good pay because my parents hard work will mean nothing if I don’t get into a respectable uni and program like Mac or UofT. I’m not allowed to go and live away from home so my options are limited even more.
I was looking at eng programs bc I atleast do better and also enjoy math and physics and have a low 90 in those 2 courses atm. I was thinking of transferring to an hdsb public school to make my life easier and get better grades (Idropped chem12 this year bc I had a 77) so I was thinking of taking Chem12 in summer skl also taking comp sci 11. This way I could take Bio12, Adv func, Calc, Comp Sci 12, and International Business in the next school year in SEMESTERS at public school.
The point of this post is to know that if I decide to apply for both life sci and eng:
submitted by Aggravating-Sea-3715 to OntarioGrade12s [link] [comments]
I’ve always wanted to be a dentist/doctor but I soon realized that I can’t pursue a career in it because im terrible at science and can’t keep my grade above a 80. I understand all the concepts and understand literally everything but on the tests and labs my understanding isn’t really evaluated. Maybe im making excuses but if other kids are able to get above a 90 and i cant it just shows i suck at science. I’ve been in private my whole life and my family isn’t well off either so it makes me feel even guiltier that I can’t make my parents proud and be a doctor like they wanted. Before this school year, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in uni and the programs to help become a doctor. But considering my grades I have to scrap that childhood plan. I want to pursue a career that obviously has a good pay because my parents hard work will mean nothing if I don’t get into a respectable uni and program like Mac or UofT. I’m not allowed to go and live away from home so my options are limited even more.
I was looking at eng programs bc I atleast do better and also enjoy math and physics and have a low 90 in those 2 courses atm. I was thinking of transferring to an hdsb public school to make my life easier and get better grades (Idropped chem12 this year bc I had a 77) so I was thinking of taking Chem12 in summer skl also taking comp sci 11. This way I could take Bio12, Adv func, Calc, Comp Sci 12, and International Business in the next school year in SEMESTERS at public school.
The point of this post is to know that if I decide to apply for both life sci and eng:
- Is it bad to take grade 12 chem in the summer? i have the knowledge from before I dropped so it could help if i took it in the summer. all I know is that Waterloo cares but I don’t wanna go there.
- Is switching to a public school for grade 12 a good idea. Of course I will be putting in lots of effort and working hard to maintain a high average but im hearing mixed responses from everyone.
2024.04.28 22:22 Smart_Ant_1607 AITAH for refusing to pay ex my for medical expenses after he never paid me?
Hello Charlotte I have watched you for awhile and I have been struggling if I am in the right or wrong with my story.
its a bit long and I apologize but it requires a lot of background so that you can understand the entire situation. Also please excuse If my grammar is bad. FL am I right?)
So the background, I (32f) has a 12 year old son who has extreme behavior problems since he was 3. His father (35) was always a deadbeat I never really noticed since I was young and "in love" we dated for 4 years by the time I got pregnant and I was scared I told him I didn't want a kid and that I was way too young (19) his only response was "you can do what you want but if you get an abortion I will leave you" being 19 and "in love" I didn't want to loose him so I went through with it. while I was 5 month pregnant I found out he cheated on me and gas lite me saying "it was my fault I cheated" once I had the baby he was never really around I took care of our son alone (with help from my mom, aunt, and my best friend) but my ex only showed up once or twice the first 3 weeks for maybe an hour at a time. I had a C-section and without his help my cut didn't heal correctly due to having to take care of a new born alone. He convinced me to move out of my dads house with the baby to move 4 hour away in another city and I was told we would only have 2 other roommates since we couldn't afford it alone, which I was ok with hoping that living with the baby and I he would step up.. SURPRISE he didn't he and his friends were constantly going out to the movies and hanging out and I was left alone with the baby..by the time I decided I wasn't happy we had 5 people living in this 3 bedroom townhome so when my ex went to take a nap I gathered my things and the baby and drove the 4 hour south back to my dad (I was so scared to tell him because last time I did he took our son and refused to give him back until I agreed to stay). I'm gonna fast forward a bit because this abusive relationship just got worse and worse and I don't really want to go through it again. when Our son was 3 my ex went to jail for selling guns illegally. at the point our son started to get behavioral issues which my father and I got him therapy thinking it was related to his father just disappearing. Nothing helped and he got worse and worse. I got married and had another son with my husband and we moved 2.5 hours north to get away from my ex since he was getting out of jail and I was scared of him and what he might do to my husband or me. My older son got worse to the point where he was beating up my youngest son to the point my little one would flinch when he walked by, my cats wouldn't leave my room until my oldest went to bed, he went through a window at school, throwing desks with intent to hurt others. we at this point got him so much testing, therapy, psychologist (which my father helped pay since it wasn't covered and it was costly) so many different medicines and NOTHING was working he was getting worse...My father passed right before covid and I was struggling getting through so my ex called and said "I know you are struggling let me take our son for the lock down so you can get through and heal" so I agreed since i wanted nothing more then for our son to be a part of his fathers life.. Huge mistake he refused to give him his meds because (i was just drugging him) and dropped all the work on his grandmother, he would leave to work before our son woke up and return after he went to bed.. his grandma would call me about a month or two later crying saying "you need to get him please I'm disappointed in how hes treating his son and I raised him better.." so I met her the next day half way and apologized and that I didn't know he wasn't around (he also claimed him on taxes illegally since our custody agreement says I get to claim him). Then once I get him back things got even worse my oldest was stealing knives and hiding them under his pillow, taking the cats and stuffing them into things and squeezing them, he left the front door open and convinced my youngest to walk outside while I ran to the bathroom and he disappeared for 15 minutes I had to call 911 (my son admitted he did it on purpose a few days later) he took something the wasn't replaceable that was my dad and completely ruined it and I was devastated I called my ex his father crying "please help me I cant handle this with him alone anymore please.." at this point my stress was pretty high I had chest pains and I barely ate and didn't sleep a lot I was in constant iep meetings, therapist offices, Psychologist appointments. my ex took our son and moved to Colorado for about 4 months and called me saying he cant handle him anymore he's a psycho and he needs him gone. Of course I took him back and he flew in Jan 4th those next few months were the worst few months he was baker acted 3 times in 4 months...once directly from school in cuffs since he threatened to kill the officers. He set fire in his room and thankfully I smelled the smoke before it burned down my house, we got another therapist through the baker act and we saw her once a week where she told me "if he doesn't get help he will be the next Jeffery Dahmer or the next school shooter" I cried and said "I have been scared of him for years but I cant get him help, nothing is working" I was told they would be getting him into a long term treatment due to his extreme anger but I couldn't hold out another 6 to 12 months I was so scared for myself and my son and my cats and my husband at this point I slept maybe an hour that entire week, my chest was in constant pain, I barely ate anything and I was so stressed and tired I took some pills in hopes to get sleep to get the stress to go away (I regret it and I wasn't trying to die I just wanted peace even if just an hour) regardless it almost killed me I was in the hospital for a week to where I talked to doctors and phycologists which they told me "get away from your son. If you continue doing this you will die and its time his father step up"
I'm sorry the background was so long but I felt it was important because I raised my son practically alone for 11 years. I paid every expense alone (besides when my dad offered to help) I never received any child support (even though it was court ordered 7 years ago) I would ask my ex for some money to buy our son clothing and I was ignored...he never sent a Christmas or birthday card or gifts or anything in all these years.. thousands of dollars in medical bills alone and idc about the money I just wanted our son to be happy and healthy.. now my ex who is raising our son he now texts me and threatens me "if you don't pay me 350$ a month then ill get you arrested" I keep telling him "1 I don't have 350$ laying around and 2 why should I have to pay you when you haven't paid me in 11 years?" the way I see it is its a two way street not one...why is it okay for my dad and I to pay THOUSANDS and he never pays but now that the shoes on the other foot he expects me to pay him? My ex is also demanding that "If I can't pay then make my husband pay.." So I should pay him? I feel I have paid my part towards our son and now its his turn to pay his part. I still plan to be a part of my sons life I talk to him on the phone whenever his father lets him call me I send him a card for his birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween with photos. I send a text to his father once a week saying "Tell our son I love him and he's welcome to call whenever" now that he moved back to our state (about 2.5 hours away) I plan to try and drive down once a month to see him (its just hard since I still have my youngest and I'm currently pregnant) I love my oldest son. I know he has some severe issues but I love my oldest son I believe he has the ability to be a sweet kind boy he's just struggling and it breaks my heart. I feel as if I failed him since I couldn't get him the correct help but I tried so hard. My family thinks I did the right thing giving my son to his father and also feel I don't owe him any money. So I guess AITA for refusing to pay my ex for my oldest medical bills?
submitted by Smart_Ant_1607 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
its a bit long and I apologize but it requires a lot of background so that you can understand the entire situation. Also please excuse If my grammar is bad. FL am I right?)
So the background, I (32f) has a 12 year old son who has extreme behavior problems since he was 3. His father (35) was always a deadbeat I never really noticed since I was young and "in love" we dated for 4 years by the time I got pregnant and I was scared I told him I didn't want a kid and that I was way too young (19) his only response was "you can do what you want but if you get an abortion I will leave you" being 19 and "in love" I didn't want to loose him so I went through with it. while I was 5 month pregnant I found out he cheated on me and gas lite me saying "it was my fault I cheated" once I had the baby he was never really around I took care of our son alone (with help from my mom, aunt, and my best friend) but my ex only showed up once or twice the first 3 weeks for maybe an hour at a time. I had a C-section and without his help my cut didn't heal correctly due to having to take care of a new born alone. He convinced me to move out of my dads house with the baby to move 4 hour away in another city and I was told we would only have 2 other roommates since we couldn't afford it alone, which I was ok with hoping that living with the baby and I he would step up.. SURPRISE he didn't he and his friends were constantly going out to the movies and hanging out and I was left alone with the baby..by the time I decided I wasn't happy we had 5 people living in this 3 bedroom townhome so when my ex went to take a nap I gathered my things and the baby and drove the 4 hour south back to my dad (I was so scared to tell him because last time I did he took our son and refused to give him back until I agreed to stay). I'm gonna fast forward a bit because this abusive relationship just got worse and worse and I don't really want to go through it again. when Our son was 3 my ex went to jail for selling guns illegally. at the point our son started to get behavioral issues which my father and I got him therapy thinking it was related to his father just disappearing. Nothing helped and he got worse and worse. I got married and had another son with my husband and we moved 2.5 hours north to get away from my ex since he was getting out of jail and I was scared of him and what he might do to my husband or me. My older son got worse to the point where he was beating up my youngest son to the point my little one would flinch when he walked by, my cats wouldn't leave my room until my oldest went to bed, he went through a window at school, throwing desks with intent to hurt others. we at this point got him so much testing, therapy, psychologist (which my father helped pay since it wasn't covered and it was costly) so many different medicines and NOTHING was working he was getting worse...My father passed right before covid and I was struggling getting through so my ex called and said "I know you are struggling let me take our son for the lock down so you can get through and heal" so I agreed since i wanted nothing more then for our son to be a part of his fathers life.. Huge mistake he refused to give him his meds because (i was just drugging him) and dropped all the work on his grandmother, he would leave to work before our son woke up and return after he went to bed.. his grandma would call me about a month or two later crying saying "you need to get him please I'm disappointed in how hes treating his son and I raised him better.." so I met her the next day half way and apologized and that I didn't know he wasn't around (he also claimed him on taxes illegally since our custody agreement says I get to claim him). Then once I get him back things got even worse my oldest was stealing knives and hiding them under his pillow, taking the cats and stuffing them into things and squeezing them, he left the front door open and convinced my youngest to walk outside while I ran to the bathroom and he disappeared for 15 minutes I had to call 911 (my son admitted he did it on purpose a few days later) he took something the wasn't replaceable that was my dad and completely ruined it and I was devastated I called my ex his father crying "please help me I cant handle this with him alone anymore please.." at this point my stress was pretty high I had chest pains and I barely ate and didn't sleep a lot I was in constant iep meetings, therapist offices, Psychologist appointments. my ex took our son and moved to Colorado for about 4 months and called me saying he cant handle him anymore he's a psycho and he needs him gone. Of course I took him back and he flew in Jan 4th those next few months were the worst few months he was baker acted 3 times in 4 months...once directly from school in cuffs since he threatened to kill the officers. He set fire in his room and thankfully I smelled the smoke before it burned down my house, we got another therapist through the baker act and we saw her once a week where she told me "if he doesn't get help he will be the next Jeffery Dahmer or the next school shooter" I cried and said "I have been scared of him for years but I cant get him help, nothing is working" I was told they would be getting him into a long term treatment due to his extreme anger but I couldn't hold out another 6 to 12 months I was so scared for myself and my son and my cats and my husband at this point I slept maybe an hour that entire week, my chest was in constant pain, I barely ate anything and I was so stressed and tired I took some pills in hopes to get sleep to get the stress to go away (I regret it and I wasn't trying to die I just wanted peace even if just an hour) regardless it almost killed me I was in the hospital for a week to where I talked to doctors and phycologists which they told me "get away from your son. If you continue doing this you will die and its time his father step up"
I'm sorry the background was so long but I felt it was important because I raised my son practically alone for 11 years. I paid every expense alone (besides when my dad offered to help) I never received any child support (even though it was court ordered 7 years ago) I would ask my ex for some money to buy our son clothing and I was ignored...he never sent a Christmas or birthday card or gifts or anything in all these years.. thousands of dollars in medical bills alone and idc about the money I just wanted our son to be happy and healthy.. now my ex who is raising our son he now texts me and threatens me "if you don't pay me 350$ a month then ill get you arrested" I keep telling him "1 I don't have 350$ laying around and 2 why should I have to pay you when you haven't paid me in 11 years?" the way I see it is its a two way street not one...why is it okay for my dad and I to pay THOUSANDS and he never pays but now that the shoes on the other foot he expects me to pay him? My ex is also demanding that "If I can't pay then make my husband pay.." So I should pay him? I feel I have paid my part towards our son and now its his turn to pay his part. I still plan to be a part of my sons life I talk to him on the phone whenever his father lets him call me I send him a card for his birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween with photos. I send a text to his father once a week saying "Tell our son I love him and he's welcome to call whenever" now that he moved back to our state (about 2.5 hours away) I plan to try and drive down once a month to see him (its just hard since I still have my youngest and I'm currently pregnant) I love my oldest son. I know he has some severe issues but I love my oldest son I believe he has the ability to be a sweet kind boy he's just struggling and it breaks my heart. I feel as if I failed him since I couldn't get him the correct help but I tried so hard. My family thinks I did the right thing giving my son to his father and also feel I don't owe him any money. So I guess AITA for refusing to pay my ex for my oldest medical bills?
2024.04.28 21:54 AggravatingRise5310 ISEF ruined my life and now I don't know what to do
Title is self explanatory. I'm 16M (sophomore) and ISEF ruined my life.
Suffice to say - I didn't get into ISEF. I had my hopes incredibly high. I don't want to disclose my project because the intellectual property isn't protected just yet - but needless to say it was something I poured my entire year into focusing. I got the idea far before anyone in my school even began to think about competing in science fair, and I poured hundreds of hours crafting iteration after iteration of my project. I had the densest project by far - my research paper was over 150 pages long. I also drafted over 50 pages of competition-based resource - where I meticulously analyzed winning and losing projects in order to craft a bullet proof methodology which was supposed to shoot me straight to ISEF.
My mistake began here.
I was quite literally obsessed with the project. When I say I was "obsessed", a lot of people think I just didn't sleep a lot and spent a lot of time on the project. That wasn't even half of it. I skipped meals to work on the project. I lost 11 kg, and I lost the habit of exercising. My longest work session was 52 hours straight - I had to completely miss midterms because I was so sick and headache-ridden afterwards. I shifted in and out of momentary sleep. I even got rid of my chair because if I sat down, I'd shift in and out of consciousness. Sleep deprivation is an understatement - the max I slept each day was 5 hours. I racked up a huge number of missing assignments, and my GPA probably started with a 2. I could probably go on and on about how hard I worked and how much I sacrificed but it won't do me any good.
All because I wanted to make ISEF - it was my dream. I also read all of the stupid ivy guides - the ones where they're like oh yeah, you totally need to be at ISEF by now. I foolishly thought that I would be strapped for the ivies if I got this one in the bag - making me place even MORE value on making it to ISEF.
Competition day at the school began, and I totally wiped the fair clean. I got first in my category, moved onto districts, where I swept the fair again. Then comes regionals - my ticket into ISEF. Judging goes absolutely incredibly, my display was perfect, and I had no doubt I would be well on my way to ISEF the next day.
If everything went as planned, I wouldn't be here ranting my heart out to random strangers on the internet.
I got first in my category, not going to ISEF wasn't the worst part. I lost to a project from my school - one that took a week to do. A literal week - 7 days. They entered because their mom forced them to, and they spent the entire competition period complaining about how they didn't want to go to regionals and that they wanted to drop out badly.
The judges chose their project to go to ISEF over mine.
When I say they didn't deserve it, I mean every ounce of it. It's not like they worked hard for it and now I'm just being salty that I lost - they genuinely should've placed last. All they've ever done was complain and say they're doing it for a grade and their parents. They never attended any of the practice meets that our school held, and they broke every single piece of advice our advisors gave us. They were even chewing gum during their interviews - something we were told would put us in guaranteed disqualification. Their project was incredibly disingenuous - something you could replicate in a day. There's even instructions online from years ago on how to perform their exact project.
Worst part was, their parents just nonchalantly said "congratulations". Disbelief turned into sadness, sadness turned into rage, and I channeled my anger incredibly unhealthily. I blamed everyone - most of all the judges. What did I do wrong? I literally could not have done any more, and you're telling me it wasn't enough?
I had to deal with a truckload of missing assignments, missing midterms and quizzes, and salvage my GPA before the year ends (as of writing I have about 3 weeks). I know I should probably get on it, but I actually just can't. I feel like I've hit rock bottom.
My counselors contacted my parents, and I've never seen my parents worse off. It was soul-crushing to see. I watched my mom fly into a tear ridden craze about how all they've done is care for me but I always push them away and make them worry. Truth be told, I wasn't in the best mental state. It was probably the sleep deprivation speaking, but I always shouted at my parents to leave me alone and let me work on my project leading up to science fair. My mom shouted about how she's heartbroken from having a son that hates her. My dad said this was the first time he's cried since his dads funeral, and that he truly feels like he failed as a parent for failing to protect me from this kind of suffering.
I've apologized and tried to come back to my senses, and I really do hope I can reconnect with my parents.
I feel like this is just unfair. I sacrificed everything for ISEF - my grades, my health, my family, everything. And instead, some no-effort project with horrible presentation goes to ISEF instead.
I'm actually so lost, and I have no idea how to get back on track in order to get into my dream colleges. Please, what do I do?
submitted by AggravatingRise5310 to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
Suffice to say - I didn't get into ISEF. I had my hopes incredibly high. I don't want to disclose my project because the intellectual property isn't protected just yet - but needless to say it was something I poured my entire year into focusing. I got the idea far before anyone in my school even began to think about competing in science fair, and I poured hundreds of hours crafting iteration after iteration of my project. I had the densest project by far - my research paper was over 150 pages long. I also drafted over 50 pages of competition-based resource - where I meticulously analyzed winning and losing projects in order to craft a bullet proof methodology which was supposed to shoot me straight to ISEF.
My mistake began here.
I was quite literally obsessed with the project. When I say I was "obsessed", a lot of people think I just didn't sleep a lot and spent a lot of time on the project. That wasn't even half of it. I skipped meals to work on the project. I lost 11 kg, and I lost the habit of exercising. My longest work session was 52 hours straight - I had to completely miss midterms because I was so sick and headache-ridden afterwards. I shifted in and out of momentary sleep. I even got rid of my chair because if I sat down, I'd shift in and out of consciousness. Sleep deprivation is an understatement - the max I slept each day was 5 hours. I racked up a huge number of missing assignments, and my GPA probably started with a 2. I could probably go on and on about how hard I worked and how much I sacrificed but it won't do me any good.
All because I wanted to make ISEF - it was my dream. I also read all of the stupid ivy guides - the ones where they're like oh yeah, you totally need to be at ISEF by now. I foolishly thought that I would be strapped for the ivies if I got this one in the bag - making me place even MORE value on making it to ISEF.
Competition day at the school began, and I totally wiped the fair clean. I got first in my category, moved onto districts, where I swept the fair again. Then comes regionals - my ticket into ISEF. Judging goes absolutely incredibly, my display was perfect, and I had no doubt I would be well on my way to ISEF the next day.
If everything went as planned, I wouldn't be here ranting my heart out to random strangers on the internet.
I got first in my category, not going to ISEF wasn't the worst part. I lost to a project from my school - one that took a week to do. A literal week - 7 days. They entered because their mom forced them to, and they spent the entire competition period complaining about how they didn't want to go to regionals and that they wanted to drop out badly.
The judges chose their project to go to ISEF over mine.
When I say they didn't deserve it, I mean every ounce of it. It's not like they worked hard for it and now I'm just being salty that I lost - they genuinely should've placed last. All they've ever done was complain and say they're doing it for a grade and their parents. They never attended any of the practice meets that our school held, and they broke every single piece of advice our advisors gave us. They were even chewing gum during their interviews - something we were told would put us in guaranteed disqualification. Their project was incredibly disingenuous - something you could replicate in a day. There's even instructions online from years ago on how to perform their exact project.
Worst part was, their parents just nonchalantly said "congratulations". Disbelief turned into sadness, sadness turned into rage, and I channeled my anger incredibly unhealthily. I blamed everyone - most of all the judges. What did I do wrong? I literally could not have done any more, and you're telling me it wasn't enough?
I had to deal with a truckload of missing assignments, missing midterms and quizzes, and salvage my GPA before the year ends (as of writing I have about 3 weeks). I know I should probably get on it, but I actually just can't. I feel like I've hit rock bottom.
My counselors contacted my parents, and I've never seen my parents worse off. It was soul-crushing to see. I watched my mom fly into a tear ridden craze about how all they've done is care for me but I always push them away and make them worry. Truth be told, I wasn't in the best mental state. It was probably the sleep deprivation speaking, but I always shouted at my parents to leave me alone and let me work on my project leading up to science fair. My mom shouted about how she's heartbroken from having a son that hates her. My dad said this was the first time he's cried since his dads funeral, and that he truly feels like he failed as a parent for failing to protect me from this kind of suffering.
I've apologized and tried to come back to my senses, and I really do hope I can reconnect with my parents.
I feel like this is just unfair. I sacrificed everything for ISEF - my grades, my health, my family, everything. And instead, some no-effort project with horrible presentation goes to ISEF instead.
I'm actually so lost, and I have no idea how to get back on track in order to get into my dream colleges. Please, what do I do?
2024.04.28 21:51 Few-House402 I’ve done the TOEFL test today and got my unofficial scores
So basically as you may know, after finishing the test you receive your unofficial reading and listening scores. I got 14 in reading and 24 in listening. Yes I know pretty low grades , however I believe that I have done well in the writing section and speaking. I have done the TestReady mock test yesterday and got similar predictions to the reading which was 4-17/30 , and listening which was 22-30. My question is, is it possible for me to get to have consistent results and get 20-24 in speaking and 24-30 in writing which was my yesterday score prediction. (I know you aren’t going to guess it for me or know the unknown lol but I just am asking if someone experienced the same thing as me. Thank you in advance🙏🏼)
submitted by Few-House402 to ToeflAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 21:34 Alastor001 Advice on an old Invisalign case going wrong?
I am writing on behalf of my partner. We are both dentists, but only she provides Invisalign treatment, I have no interest in that. As such, my knowledge on the subject is limited.
Anyway, recently she received an email from one of her old patients onto our current practice email. That patient was seen by her about two years ago when she worked in another practice.
The email goes as follows. My partner (successfully - patient was happy with results) completed Invisalign treatment for the patient two years ago. Just now patient is informing her of complications of the treatment, where she is going to lose three teeth and require surgical treatment. Patient is disappointed with complications and is looking for some kind of compensation it seems.
Now I am no Invisalign expert of course. My partner is quite stressed about. She is a good dentist. I have my doubts about what the patient is saying. How badly would Invisalign need to be botched to cause such severe side effects two years after finishing? How likely is it to either: a) Get severe bone loss of >50% depth / Grade 3 mobility of 3 teeth OR b) Severe root resorption of >50% root length of 3 teeth in a span of just 2 years in a patient who did not have any permanent PDL / bone / root damage before?
My feeling is that someone is trying to throw my partner under a bus. Plus probably some misunderstanding on a patient's part. Otherwise, it is just extremely unlikely isn't it?
My advice to her was to get old notes and radiographs from the old place first before anything else. She has photos already. I also suggested to not contact insurance before we know more...
Should she contact the patient before insurance or vice versa? Would it be refund for an Invisalign treatment? Surely no way patient can expect being paid for 3 implants or whatever?
Should indemnity insurance be contacted at all? As increase in premium is very likely while taking her side would be very unlikely I think...
Any advice would be appreciated.
submitted by Alastor001 to Dentistry [link] [comments]
Anyway, recently she received an email from one of her old patients onto our current practice email. That patient was seen by her about two years ago when she worked in another practice.
The email goes as follows. My partner (successfully - patient was happy with results) completed Invisalign treatment for the patient two years ago. Just now patient is informing her of complications of the treatment, where she is going to lose three teeth and require surgical treatment. Patient is disappointed with complications and is looking for some kind of compensation it seems.
Now I am no Invisalign expert of course. My partner is quite stressed about. She is a good dentist. I have my doubts about what the patient is saying. How badly would Invisalign need to be botched to cause such severe side effects two years after finishing? How likely is it to either: a) Get severe bone loss of >50% depth / Grade 3 mobility of 3 teeth OR b) Severe root resorption of >50% root length of 3 teeth in a span of just 2 years in a patient who did not have any permanent PDL / bone / root damage before?
My feeling is that someone is trying to throw my partner under a bus. Plus probably some misunderstanding on a patient's part. Otherwise, it is just extremely unlikely isn't it?
My advice to her was to get old notes and radiographs from the old place first before anything else. She has photos already. I also suggested to not contact insurance before we know more...
Should she contact the patient before insurance or vice versa? Would it be refund for an Invisalign treatment? Surely no way patient can expect being paid for 3 implants or whatever?
Should indemnity insurance be contacted at all? As increase in premium is very likely while taking her side would be very unlikely I think...
Any advice would be appreciated.
2024.04.28 21:34 mensch-on-bench Yet another warning about Clipboard Health
 | If you know Clipboard Health, you probably know they require time-intensive case studies before even talking with a recruiter. I wanted to test if they even take the time to review the resumes to ensure the candidate is qualified before sending them a case study. submitted by mensch-on-bench to recruitinghell [link] [comments] If they're sending everyone (including grossly underqualified candidates) the case study assessment, it would be highly unethical to ask them to dedicate hours of their time to the assessment when there's likely no possibility of ever getting an offer. I imagine some candidates are compelled to do the assessment because they assume the hiring manager has reviewed the résumé and sees them as a potential fit. To test this theory, I submitted an application with a product manual PDF instead of a résumé. If anyone would've looked at this application, they would've rejected it. Guess what, I got an email from Clipboard Health asking to do a case study. Clipboard Health isn't even looking at your résumé.https://preview.redd.it/iu8j2d97v9xc1.png?width=1402&format=png&auto=webp&s=2ba4b321c46f7ac93bde95566221065d1df3dc58 |
2024.04.28 21:12 Repulsive_Union2244 [[FOR HIRE]] -- Pay Someone to Take My Statistics Exam For Me Reddit -- Take My Statistics Test For Me -- Do My Statistics Exam -- Statistics Exam Taker -- Pay Someone to Take My Online Statistics Class For Me -- Pay Someone to Take My Statistics Class For Me -- MATH: Probability Algebra MyStatLab
First of all, these are the contact details to reach us for help any type of academic task of any subject:
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:
submitted by Repulsive_Union2244 to Statisticshelpers_ [link] [comments]
MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
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- Geometry
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Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
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MY CONTACT INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:
- Name You Prefer to Be Called
- Name of the Class You Need Help With
- Type of Assessment Help Needed: (Entire Course, Exams Only, HW Assignment, Essay, etc.)
2024.04.28 21:03 man-dutch_ Girls of Reddit, can you teach me how to start or be in an interesting coversation with this type of girl?
Beforehand, excuse me for any poorly worded sentences, as English isn't my native language.
(I know I could ask boys for this, but to be honest, a girl answering this seemed more fitting. I'm expecting advice from both, though.)
For some background, I'm a senior in High-School in Europe and have never been in a relationship before. Matter of fact, I have avoided long conversations with women, even if they were online. Part of it is because I used to find no reason to keep them going and/or I just find academic challenges(another way to just mean that I would rather do math) more interesting. I'm a straight 10s Student(which for American Grading system it corresponds to a A+ or A*, the very highest possible) and I am a premed. I spend tons of time studying, mainly with advanced exercises etc. You get the overall picture I suppose. About social media, I never used anything to be honest as they came with no practical use for me, other than Facebook, where I chose math problems to solve with my professor(yeah very boomer). I downloaded Instagram only the last December lol.
Now to give a background of this girl, She is stunning. I mean, very, very, very stunning. To me, of course. To be honest, if I have to unavoidably suffer in this life, I better be suffering standing by her shoulders. She ain't a premed, but she is on same school as me. She does pre-engineering and most likely she will pursue an architectural degree on University (unlike me which chose medicine). She is a very sporty girl, was part of volleyball team(not anymore 'cause schoolwork increased its demands) and the most mature(I would say) among every other girl I've ever met(which ain't a lot but still). She works really hard about her academic life, she helps on her dad's business as well(and I help on my dad's business as well) and I really appreciate this humbleness of hers. She's very friendly, very talkative, not awkward at all etc and I can say all of these with a secure tone, as I've been on the same class as her for the previous two years(High School here is 3 years). Now, in 12th class, we're in different classes as mentioned above.
I could say that I've been a pretty good friend to her overall, but never really thought to take a different approach with her. To be honest, now I've seen more than enough and I really think it would be awesome if I could become something closer than that. I don't know... the "tingly" feelings that I get when I get time to spend with her are so outstanding... or when I see that she sent me a message on Instagram of a reel with a caption "You haha" and the reel is the exact description of mine in a meme, and so on so forth, you get it. I've "tested the waters" and can say that she also might be having a new approach towards me, but I don't really know if that's just kindness or what... lol. She does compliment on my fit, especially on the last school trip that we took, and she did appreciate the fact that I accompanied her friend group and her during lunch and dinner time, she does give the usual jokes to me and whenever I'm alone, not really alone, but probably waiting for somebody or waiting for the bus whatsoever, she comes and does a small chit-chat before she leaves, giving the "daily news and drama". Or when we're home and so, the "relatable" memes are sent over our chat, and to be honest, none has ever done that to me other than a dude, lmfao. I don't know if she's into me, exploring me, or understanding if I'm into her right now, but for a fact, I know that I should become more expressive and interesting when it comes to conversations. Remember how I said about the Instagram chats and memes and all? Well, other than just the "haha" or the "heart reaction" or the "that's so real omg" I've got pretty much nothing to say. I don't really spark the conversations with any type of questions either. Pretty much, seems like I can poorly form some type of conversation starter or conversation "go-er". I don't really know how corny it would sound to compliment her on chat, seems really ... I don't know ... kinda too much.
To not make this any longer, I struggle to setup a conversation, or keep it going with some type of question or so, even if it is just online. I kinda am smoother in real life than on chat, now that I'm thinking.
So Girls of Reddit or whoever reads this, what are some type of starters, or memes, or chats, or videos, I could send and how to keep that going? Of course not forever, but I would like to meaningfully talk to her, at least once a day, rather than sharing funny content. :D
submitted by man-dutch_ to Advice [link] [comments]
(I know I could ask boys for this, but to be honest, a girl answering this seemed more fitting. I'm expecting advice from both, though.)
For some background, I'm a senior in High-School in Europe and have never been in a relationship before. Matter of fact, I have avoided long conversations with women, even if they were online. Part of it is because I used to find no reason to keep them going and/or I just find academic challenges(another way to just mean that I would rather do math) more interesting. I'm a straight 10s Student(which for American Grading system it corresponds to a A+ or A*, the very highest possible) and I am a premed. I spend tons of time studying, mainly with advanced exercises etc. You get the overall picture I suppose. About social media, I never used anything to be honest as they came with no practical use for me, other than Facebook, where I chose math problems to solve with my professor(yeah very boomer). I downloaded Instagram only the last December lol.
Now to give a background of this girl, She is stunning. I mean, very, very, very stunning. To me, of course. To be honest, if I have to unavoidably suffer in this life, I better be suffering standing by her shoulders. She ain't a premed, but she is on same school as me. She does pre-engineering and most likely she will pursue an architectural degree on University (unlike me which chose medicine). She is a very sporty girl, was part of volleyball team(not anymore 'cause schoolwork increased its demands) and the most mature(I would say) among every other girl I've ever met(which ain't a lot but still). She works really hard about her academic life, she helps on her dad's business as well(and I help on my dad's business as well) and I really appreciate this humbleness of hers. She's very friendly, very talkative, not awkward at all etc and I can say all of these with a secure tone, as I've been on the same class as her for the previous two years(High School here is 3 years). Now, in 12th class, we're in different classes as mentioned above.
I could say that I've been a pretty good friend to her overall, but never really thought to take a different approach with her. To be honest, now I've seen more than enough and I really think it would be awesome if I could become something closer than that. I don't know... the "tingly" feelings that I get when I get time to spend with her are so outstanding... or when I see that she sent me a message on Instagram of a reel with a caption "You haha" and the reel is the exact description of mine in a meme, and so on so forth, you get it. I've "tested the waters" and can say that she also might be having a new approach towards me, but I don't really know if that's just kindness or what... lol. She does compliment on my fit, especially on the last school trip that we took, and she did appreciate the fact that I accompanied her friend group and her during lunch and dinner time, she does give the usual jokes to me and whenever I'm alone, not really alone, but probably waiting for somebody or waiting for the bus whatsoever, she comes and does a small chit-chat before she leaves, giving the "daily news and drama". Or when we're home and so, the "relatable" memes are sent over our chat, and to be honest, none has ever done that to me other than a dude, lmfao. I don't know if she's into me, exploring me, or understanding if I'm into her right now, but for a fact, I know that I should become more expressive and interesting when it comes to conversations. Remember how I said about the Instagram chats and memes and all? Well, other than just the "haha" or the "heart reaction" or the "that's so real omg" I've got pretty much nothing to say. I don't really spark the conversations with any type of questions either. Pretty much, seems like I can poorly form some type of conversation starter or conversation "go-er". I don't really know how corny it would sound to compliment her on chat, seems really ... I don't know ... kinda too much.
To not make this any longer, I struggle to setup a conversation, or keep it going with some type of question or so, even if it is just online. I kinda am smoother in real life than on chat, now that I'm thinking.
So Girls of Reddit or whoever reads this, what are some type of starters, or memes, or chats, or videos, I could send and how to keep that going? Of course not forever, but I would like to meaningfully talk to her, at least once a day, rather than sharing funny content. :D