Intro

It’s not much of a stretch to say that violence is the primary form of interaction in video games. With a handful of exceptions, most video games involve guys whacking other guys, with varying degrees of brutality. Even chill games fall into this - Stardew Valley has sections with combat in them! Considering the pervasiveness of violence in video games, there has been a ton of amateur and academic commentary on the topic. However, while this is a well-established school of thought, I haven’t seen people try to apply this to Fire Emblem specifically.
So, let’s do that now! In this post, I’ll be exploring how violence in Fire Emblem is implemented - what limitations are placed on violence, how it warps wider game and narrative design, and what it implicitly says and does not say. I hope this post doesn’t come off as too early-2010s “makes you think”-y, but I do think there are multiple interesting things worth talking about here!
Despite the length of this post, "a brief discussion" is an appropriate title, as we won't be able to go into depth on everything. After all, video games are holistic works, so the attitude towards violence is relevant to every aspect of their design. However, I have managed to wrangle some of these threads into the following structure: first a discussion on the fundamental mode of interaction in Fire Emblem, then how stories are constructed with regards to violence, and ending with the aesthetics of violence and how they relate to characters. Also, as FE is a huge series, be aware that I am gonna be making some broad statements which may not apply to each individual plot point of every game. I actually planned to write 3 case studies around Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses (which have the most interesting attitudes to violence in the series IMO) which point out these deviations, but this post is way too long and full of tangents already. If people are interested, I’ll make a followup to this post which goes into them in more detail. Also also, because of the nature of this post, I’ll actually give a useful TL;DR for once:
TL;DR: Nintendo games must be fun mechanically, and they can’t be too uncomfortable narratively. If you try to provide a counterpoint by saying “oh this Kirby final boss is super dark it eats 100 morbillion galaxies”, you do not deserve rights. IntSys has to keep to this as a 2nd party publisher, but they also have to deal with the fact that their games are at least nominally about ‘war’ (or at least they put their toes into that particular thematic pool). This conflict between making a fun video game for children/teens and the wider framing of the narrative leads to interesting narrative and aesthetic tensions. also fun is cringe, misery is based

“Do you like hurting other people?” (or The Fundamental Mode of Interaction)

OK LISTEN I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS A EARLY 2010s “VIOLENCE IN VIDYA BAD :O????” PERSON BUT I SWEAR I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
The best place to start when talking about violence in video games is to think about the primary form of interaction in said game. In the case of Fire Emblem, this is in the in-chapter gameplay. Sure, in objective terms the player moves arbitrary objects across a 2D grid which perform subtraction on arbitrary objects controlled by the computer, but this is always framed as controlling a squad of soldiers to engage in (typically lethal) combat with enemies (who are normally also soldiers). When you’re not doing this in-chapter gameplay, you are preparing for the next chapter of combat. This involves surveying the area of combat, preparing weapon loadouts, etc, however more recent entries also include light life-sim-esque elements. To summarize, Fire Emblem’s interactivity involves ordering violence as well as the preparations to order said violence.
For players, this strategic thinking is extremely fun and is the primary draw of the series! You have all these tier lists of who’s better at killing, discussion of the maps where you do the killing, complaints about the length of gameplay sections where you don’t do killing, etc. This is by design, as while I don’t know the core brand tenets of Nintendo, I imagine the Reggie quote “If it isn’t fun, why bother?” is carved into a solid gold statue of Mario in the office lobby. This then is enforced on all associated studios, including IntSys and so Fire Emblem. While I would disagree with that Reggie quote (especially the bit where he says “If it’s not a battle, where’s the fun?” which is a wild statement to make about an entire medium), this approach to making games is ultimately fine, and so IntSys tailored the strategic gameplay to be satisfying to your dopamine receptors. You could analyse what the normalisation of violence even in ‘just for fun’ games says about wider gaming culture, but I won’t get into that here. In any case, let’s dig into a few specifics of FE’s interactivity.
One thing that’s interesting with regard to strategy games is the detached perspective of the player. You order units and observe the resulting violence, but it’s not tactile, you don’t directly swing the sword or shoot the bow or cast the spell like with action games. This adds a layer of separation between the player and what fundamentally happens, at least within the framing that the game provides. It’s not like Call of Duty, where your relationship to the violence is very visceral, where you view everything down the barrel of a gun. OK, I probably shouldn’t use a series that I have very little personal experience with (I only listen to the supplementary lore material, so let’s talk about Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. While you’re not directly in the driver’s seat, John Sekiro reacts to your every input with extreme responsiveness, so overcoming the game’s challenges i.e. stabbing people is incredibly visceral and satisfying. While this violence is fantastical in nature, there is sufficient blood and explicit sword-action to clearly say “oh yeah you are violently killing all of those bozos with a katana”. Coming back to FE, not only are you far more detached from the violence, it is presented in an extremely cartoony manner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’ll get to the aesthetics later. Point is, Fire Emblem gives the viewpoint of a stoic commander, who Does What Needs To Be Done™, and not the viewpoint of an actual soldier who has to do the actual killing.
Now let’s view the player’s perspective on violence from a different angle. Fire Emblem intends for its combat to be relatively relaxed on the player side of things - the turn-based nature allows the player to calmly think through all of their moves, and you typically have perfect information on the enemies. The only exceptions to this are Fog of WaSame Turn Reinforcements, which are rare and typically unpopular amongst the fanbase. This leans into ‘combat as sport’, where (going back to the Reggie quote) you have a fun time picking apart a puzzle with the tools you have, and we all collectively enjoy this! This is a valid way of designing strategy games, and I like what IntSys has done. However, it’s not the only way of making these games - for example, in Total War you have to juggle all your battalions in real time whilst the enemy is bearing down on you, and the XCOM games always have Fog of War and limited information on the enemies, with you never knowing what kind of awful new monster is going to suddenly charge at you. Don’t get me wrong, neither of these follow ‘combat as war’, the principle that violence should properly mimic the stress, tension and unfairness of actual conflict. Hell, neither of them are particularly mature either - Total War is the strategy game equivalent of smashing action figures together, and XCOM emulates a pulp sci-fi alien invasion story. However, the additional pressures these games have make them hew slightly closer to actual conflict, putting you more in that mindset in a way that the clean fun Fire Emblem doesn’t really do. Again, I want to say FE’s approach to violence in in-map gameplay is fine, but when all three of these franchises have an explicit narrative framing of ‘warfare’, it does make Fire Emblem’s narrative a little more… stretched.
Finally, I want to briefly mention the maps. To steal from a brilliant Jacob Geller video, these are Worlds Designed For Violence. At least outside of the Kaga games, the maps you fight on are primarily designed around how the player interacts with them, i.e. fights on them. While I imagine the narrative designers and artists at IntSys are involved throughout the map design process, the gameplay flow probably takes precedence most of the time. Maps are not designed to resemble realistic places that you have to fight through, they are instead designed primarily to provide fun gameplay experiences before being dressed up by the artists to look realistic/fit the specific story beat. This is a more consistently entertaining approach to map design - heaven knows we have a lot of Kaga castle assault maps which are as fun as actually assaulting an entrenched position IRL - but this lack of friction could potentially take the bite out of the intended vibe, neuter any commentary on violence throughout the story.
You may have noticed that we’ve only talked about the “in-map” gameplay for now, when there’s an entire second half of these games, i.e. all the gameplay between the maps. Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that, but this may fit better in:

Something something “ludonarrative” something something (or Narrative Implications)

(To clarify, here I’m going to talk about the wider plots and narrative structure as opposed to characterisation, as that fits more into the aesthetics of the series)
It’s not bold to say that the narratives of games have to warp around the core gameplay structure. Especially in AAA video game production, the narrative designers usually have to take a back seat to the systems and level designers, at least outside of the initial rough outline they provide in the original game pitch. In this case, the job of the writer is to form vaguely coherent connective tissue between individual levels, setpieces and expensive pre-rendered cutscenes. This must be a very difficult job, and is probably the reason why most video game stories are the way they are. I am not privy to IntSys internal meetings, but I imagine they abide by this paradigm, trying to give a reason for why you fight 20 battles which roughly align with plot beats that were decided years ago.
Put another way, the writers of Fire Emblem must contrive a reason why the characters fight a vast number of violent battles in a strategic manner. This has a pretty easy solution - war! We have found something it’s good for, as whenever the gameplay designers decide that an extra map is required, the writers can just insert “oh no there’s a blockade of enemy soldiers in the way, guess you gotta kill them all”. This is the case for almost all the games and is a fair enough narrative choice, as it’s frankly one of the few scenarios where you could reasonably contrive so many battles, but it’s worth examining this in a bit more detail.
Even in the framing of warfare, there are still a lot of skirmishes, which sometimes the narrative or tone fails to support - or at least, their presence means that violence isn’t taken that seriously. Let’s take an example from early in Awakening: Emmeryn sends the Shepherds to negotiate an alliance with Regna Ferox. On the way, they are ambushed by Risen on the Northroad (1), have to fight the border guards who think Chrom is a bandit I think??? (2), and then after arriving they need to take part in Regna Ferox’s ritual combat to secure their alliance (3). These beats aren’t necessarily bad, and I actually think Awakening uses these opportunities quite well: the Risen are established as a constant threat to the world (except not really in the main story but that’s a whole other thing), “Marth'' gets more development, we set up Regna Ferox as fighty people who like to fight, and while the middle encounter is very tenuous it does set up a funny joke in Cynthia’s paralogue. However, I want to communicate that if the map/encounter designers need X maps between plot points A and B - in this case, needing low-stakes trials in the tutorial period - then there’s gonna be a fair bit of narrative filler. That is to say, there must be multiple combat encounters that kinda just happen, which makes violence a lot more casual in the narrative. See also the myriad examples of “oh shit random bandits attack!”, used to have a lower stakes map, with bandits appearing and vanishing as needed. This works fine enough in the context of ‘combat as sport’, allowing your favourite scrunglo to build up a triple-digit body count, but this casual attitude circumvents potentially interesting ideas with regards violence. Taking the example further, banditry and its causes are never seriously explored, as bandits are just treated as a filler enemy (except in Based As Hell Thracia 776).
Another narrative consequence of needing so many fights is that… you need to fight. That is to say, any anti-war sentiment or appeal to diplomacy in the series is fundamentally undercut by a) strategic combat being a core appeal of the series and b) narrative beats needing to be structured around fighting enemies. It’s a struggle to have moments of diplomacy and reconciliation when you had a fight within 3 minutes of said moment, lest some people start screaming that things are getting boring. This also makes any appeals to pacifism kinda moot. Xander’s quote about “war bad” in Conquest is utter bullshit, as a huge part of the marketing around that route focuses on the coolness of the tactical combat and its challenge. Eirika and Ephraim can never be equal, because Ephraim’s “fighting is fucken awesome” is encouraged by the gameplay, and Eirika can NEVER save 11037 because we need a final boss and no-one else fits the bill.
Speaking of, in video games it’s best practice to have a big bad guy you fight at the end of the story, the toughest mechanical challenge coinciding with the narrative climax. In Fire Emblem, you have one grand final battle which decides the fate of the war and/or world, before cutting to a brief wrap-up and then credits. This is an attempt to make these games satisfying, which is fine, but this is at odds with an anti-war message (which FE often gestures towards) - that is, actual wars tend to be deeply unsatisfying in a narrative sense! Oftentimes, after a decisive battle, things just kinda keep going for a little while afterwards with casualties continuing to pile up until peace terms are agreed. In the few cases where there is a final battle, it’s more of a formality as the decisive moment occurred months ago. See World War 1 and… World War 2 for examples of each, not to mention a whole host of war-related books and films. The problem with doing this in a video game is that it would require having multiple one-sided fights past the most climatic fight, which would be unfun, and we return to that fucking Reggie quote again. While video games can effectively explore this anti-war narrative space - This War of Mine is a fantastic example - it just doesn’t gel with the fun games that IntSys wants to make. I bring this up in the context of FE because Fire Emblem has such an aesthetic focus on warfare compared to other video games, so it sticks out even further. Even in FE6/FE9 where the war is effectively over in the final few maps, the enemies still remain extremely challenging, because if they didn’t things would be boring.
A few minor things that didn’t fit in above before we wrap up this section. First of all, in making an action packed story, Fire Emblem neglects an important aspect of army life in warfare - the “hurrying up and waiting”. In the majority of cases, the breaks between fights is under 10 minutes, it’s just glossed over. Fire Emblem Three Houses is the exception to this, but there it’s more framed as school life. Some people may say “what’s the point in having large amounts of timewasting where nothing happens in my game about war” and to that I would say fuck you, I want to play Jarhead Emblem. Next, Fire Emblem involves fighting people AND monsters, but these targets are typically given equal narrative weight, outside of maybe a funny line of dialogue about someone being afraid of monsters. In 99% of cases, enemy soldiers you fight have no more humanity than literal monsters. The death of any of your beloved soldiers is a tragedy with big sad death quotes, the death of those poor fuckers is quite literally a statistic which is proudly used to rank how well your guys have done at the end of the game. Finally, the limited scope of the violence the series can show limits the potential impact of scenes. In some cases, this is good as the implication is enough, e.g. the ‘Monica’ scene in Sacred Stones is wonderfully grim and would be weakened by anything explicit. However, a number of other scenes are neutered by the limitations on violence. This fundamentally relates to the aesthetics of the series:

insert prozd tweet/skit here (or Aesthetics, Tone, and Characters)

I’ve been talking a lot about ‘the violence committed’, and this might have seemed a bit weird to you. It’s a true statement, but because the violence is mostly cartoony and abstracted - bad guys disappear into nothingness, there’s no blood, etc - it’s hard to think of it in that way. It’s basically impossible to place Fire Emblem in the same artistic sphere as, say, All Quiet on the Western Front. This aesthetic sense was partially tech-limited in the early NES and SNES games, which was grandfathered into the more graphically complex titles, but it’s also related to how the aesthetics unavoidably warp the tone of the work. IntSys needs their games to be relatively lighthearted and unconcerned with the consequences of its violence, as one of the core appeals of these games is the charming cast of characters. As you would expect, it would be a lot harder to appreciate your goofy blorbos and their lighthearted chats about nothing if you could see the brutal consequences of their triple digit body counts. If violence was more realistic, there would be a lot less “ooh I like training and/or this one hyperspecific food” or “I like peace, but I guess violence may be possibly needed sometimes” and there would have to be a lot more trauma and dourness. There are also age rating concerns, as you can’t exactly sell Come And See Emblem to pre-teens. And once more, to clarify: Fire Emblem as it exists now is fine! I like the lighthearted tone of this series, and I like the characters that reside within it. However, a few problems do arise from IntSys’s approach to violence, as occasionally they brush up against darker ideas but (due to similar reasons to the above) they can never commit to them, which neuters their potential impact. This is especially troublesome with regards to characterisation, as the little dudes are a core appeal, so if something is off that could cause problems. In a sense, at points we have severe aesthetic tension.
A fairly useful case study to see how this affects characterisation is with Mozu in Fire Emblem Fates. Mozu is a charming character, a genial country bumpkin with a bit of an edge at times, who has fond memories of her hometown. This lines up with the lighthearted tone of her recruitment paralogue, where (checks notes) her entire village gets massacred by inhuman monsters, with her mother literally being murdered right in front of her, and she joins up with Corrin’s party because there is literally nothing left of her old life. I understand that people who experience extreme trauma do still manage to live meaningful lives, and that IntSys wouldn’t want to have a character who is a barely functional traumatised mess for 90% of the campaign. However, this doesn’t explain the sheer dissonance between the relatively normal and well-adjusted Mozu who quietly remembers her lost loved ones, and the fact that her village got My Lai’d a handful of weeks ago in the game’s timeline. IMO this would work a lot better if there were a few survivors (instead of literally everyone else dying), with Mozu actively choosing to leave her old life to help others instead of being forced to leave by circumstance. This reduction in scope would mitigate the dissonance between the character and what actually happens to her. This is by far the most extreme example in the series, however I’m sure you can think of others. My issue here is not with having ‘normal’ characters, or with them suffering tragedies, my issue is the dissonance between the two when viewing the scope of said tragedies. This is just one way the series wants to get into darker territory, then swiftly backing off instead of delving into the consequences.
This aesthetic restriction also affects the potential impact of dramatic scenes in the main story, limiting what the focus of these scenes can actually be. This little bit will involve heavy spoilers for Genealogy of the Holy War and Spec Ops: The Line (I KNOW THESE GAMES ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH VERY DIFFERENT INTENDED DEMOGRAPHICS IN VERY DIFFERENT CULTURAL CONTEXTS, SHUT UP). Both have a very important narrative moment around their midpoints, involving fire magic/white phosphorus respectively. In each game, the deaths that occur are utterly horrific when you think about them. In FE4 the focus is on the drama of the plot twist and effects on the characters, with the actual effects of the violence being left to implication. We don’t know if this was the original intent of Kaga and the team, or if this was enforced by various tech- and publisher-related restrictions, but in either case we do not see anything explicit. In any case, in Spec Ops: The Line, the horror and graphic nature of the violence is completely inescapable, and therefore forms the core of the turning point of the story. The specifics of the violence itself are crucial - the game does not work if you don’t see the consequences of the white phosphorus - and it leads beautifully to the complete descent of its endgame. You may be saying “of course you couldn’t show that violence in FE, it’s a kids game” which is true, and in any case the scene in Genealogy is very good, even without showing the violence. I imagine if we get a remake in the year 202X we wouldn’t see anything explicit anyway, partially due to the publisher but also because the scene doesn’t necessarily need it. The point I am trying to make is that the aesthetics form a limitation on what Fire Emblem can explore, narrative space that the series fundamentally cannot reach.
One more thing, and this isn’t really about the games themselves but the impressions leading into them, and how the aesthetics can affect that. Do you guys remember when the intro cutscene of Three Houses was released a few weeks before release? I do, and I also remember the collective shock of the community when seeing the early previews. It was so drastically different to everything that had come before, and consequently was really intriguing - you can see a lot of speculation in the above comments. To clarify, I don’t want to pretend that 3H is some kind of super mature ultra gritty war story, or that blood = good game, but that beginning cutscene gave one hell of a first impression. Even though the game isn’t that much darker than any other FE game, the sheer unexpectedness put people off-kilter in a kinda awesome way. Does the game actually deliver? YMMV, but I think this (and some of the later cutscenes, such as the mid-game Dimitri one) work quite well. Sometimes, a little injection of harsher violence can go a long way.

Conclusion

Frankly I don’t really have a conclusion, sorry. As you can see, there are so many disparate strands, I can’t possibly make one grand thesis statement. Maybe the inherent contradictions of having warfare in a family friendly video game weakens the potential end result? I guess, but I don’t want to imply that what we have now is bad, as it is pretty good tbh. So, uhh…
…
OK, if I had to say something, it’s more about the process of making this. Having to try and think about how violence intersects with a video game you like takes you in a number of different directions. Ultimately, this process was really fulfilling for me, and I would recommend that you do the same (for FE or anything else)! Trying to analyse something you enjoy from a perspective not usually applied is pretty neat. If you guys have any thoughts (on the points above or your own), I’d be very interested to hear them!
Also, if people are interested, I’ll try to make a few case studies. I would focus on Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses, as (when thinking on this topic) I found that these games were consistently the most intriguing, with the most interesting relationships to violence. This would probably take a while though, as I am gonna be very busy in June, and I probably won’t have time this month either.

Paragraph 1: The Intriguing Concept of Dream Influence Imagine a world where the boundaries between waking life and dreams blur, where the whims of internet personalities like Danny Gonzalez seep into the subconscious minds of their fans. In this surreal landscape, Danny Gonzalez becomes more than just a YouTuber—he becomes a spectral presence, haunting the dreams of his followers with his comedic charm and infectious personality. This concept raises intriguing questions about the nature of influence in the digital age and the extent to which online personas penetrate the depths of our subconscious minds.
Paragraph 2: The Power of Digital Persona In the realm of dreams, where the subconscious reigns supreme, the power of digital personas like Danny Gonzalez takes on a new dimension. Through his online presence, Danny cultivates a devoted following of fans who eagerly consume his content and engage with his personality on a daily basis. In the realm of dreams, this connection is amplified, as Danny's influence extends beyond the confines of the screen and infiltrates the innermost recesses of his fans' minds. Whether he's cracking jokes, performing skits, or simply being himself, Danny's presence in dreams underscores the profound impact of digital media on our collective consciousness.
Paragraph 3: The Intersection of Reality and Fantasy As Danny Gonzalez preys inside the dreams of his fans, the line between reality and fantasy blurs, giving rise to a surreal landscape where anything is possible. In this dreamscape, Danny becomes a shapeshifter, assuming various roles and personas as he traverses the subconscious minds of his followers. One moment, he may be a comedic sage, imparting wisdom and humor to his dream-bound audience; the next, he may morph into a mischievous trickster, leading them on wild and fantastical adventures through the depths of their own imaginations. Through this fluid interplay between reality and fantasy, Danny's dream influence blurs the boundaries between waking life and the subconscious realm, leaving a lasting impression on those who experience it.
Paragraph 4: Exploring Subconscious Desires and Fears As Danny Gonzalez infiltrates the dreams of his fans, he becomes a conduit for the expression of subconscious desires and fears. Through his presence in dreams, Danny taps into the deepest recesses of the human psyche, uncovering hidden truths and unleashing latent creativity. For some, his dream influence may manifest as a source of comfort and inspiration, providing an outlet for self-expression and exploration. For others, it may evoke feelings of unease or uncertainty, as the boundaries between reality and fantasy blur in the ethereal realm of dreams.
Paragraph 5: The Ethical Implications of Dream Influence While the concept of Danny Gonzalez preying inside of people's dreams may seem harmless or even entertaining, it raises important ethical questions about the boundaries of digital influence and the extent to which online personas should intrude into the private realm of the subconscious. As we grapple with the implications of this phenomenon, it is essential to consider the potential impact on mental health and well-being, as well as the need for ethical guidelines to govern the intersection of digital media and the subconscious mind.
Conclusion: In conclusion, the concept of Danny Gonzalez preying inside of people's dreams offers a fascinating glimpse into the intersection of digital media and the subconscious mind. As we navigate this surreal landscape, it is essential to recognize the power of online personas to influence our dreams and to approach this phenomenon with caution and mindfulness. Ultimately, the realm of dreams remains a mysterious and enigmatic domain, where the boundaries between reality and fantasy blur, and the influence of digital media knows no bounds.
TL;DR:
DANNY IS A DREAM PREDATOR

We should have an exJW assembly day annually. Start off the morning with volunteers giving out cheese danishes. We could reinstitute the fresh donuts and the little orange juice cups.Hoagies for lunch.
Then have speakers get up and give little talks showing the most ridiculous things we were told and taught. Have sisters give experiences about how awesome it was to be subservient and be told they could only regular pioneer. Have people joke about how great it was losing their job to prove how spiritual they were and explsin what happened when they were almost evicted. Have dramas about the kingdom hall gossip and skits about the backroom meetings. Not in a sad way, but highly comedic.
We could sing songs. It would be a blast, therapuetic and probably draw a bigger crowd than actual assemblies. No one would sleep! The comedy would be endless! 🤣🤣

hey! i think about this tiktok often, and i’ve searched for years and can’t find it. it was fairly “viral” so it shouldn’t be obscure. it’s of a white guy doing a skit where he plays both characters but in different outfits or accessories. the first character is in a teenage boy and says something along the lines of “Hey grandpa look what i can do” / “hey grandpa check this out” and he proceeds to pen tap a beat on the table very fast, like this (0:20) , and the beat he’s tapping begins to sync with the opening of Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival. the look on grandpas face slowly morphs into shock/fear as footage from the Vietnam war begins to play over the video at about 50% opacity, so you can see grandpa and the footage at the same time. as stated in the title, i believe this video to have been posted in 2019, but it may have been late 2018, or maybe even early 2020, but it was definitely pre covid, so before march. my friends and i always reference this video and i need to show our newer friend the video we’re talking about.

Hoping someone has a better memory than me...
I recall seeing what I think was either a SNL weekend update or maybe a daily show skit? Also possible it was from MTV's The State. But I'm *pretty* sure it was SNL and could have been in the 2000s also.
Basically they had on a movie reviewer and for each movie he reviews, he gives it some different number of stars. So the first movie he explains how it was just OK, not that great etc then says... "4 stars!" and the host is like "wow, 4 stars, thats a great rating for an ok movie". and the movie reviewer slyly says "... out of 12 stars!??? I think not!"
Then he reviews another movie and says how great it was... and then gives it like 8 stars. To which the host says "oh that doesnt sound so great, only 8 stars out of 12..." and the reviewer blurts out " ... OUT OF 8 STARS!!!"
This back and forth continues for another few movies, like "... out of 37 stars!"
Obviously i cant recall the exact back and forth but the joke was how the denominator kept changing so the host couldn't get an accurate read on anything.
I love this skit and I regularly use lines from it (or from the bit I can remember) when I give my own little reviews about anything :)
I've tried googling and searching youtube for this over the years and never can find it.
Any help would be awesome. A youtube clip would be even better! THANKS! 22 stars for the person who finds this!

I was caught lacking in prehevil now I'm contemplating my life decisions. Give me some meme to animate, like a skit, funny the office moments, musicals and whatever to cure my soul. (Artstyle example down in the comments)

Hello all!! I'm a Venturing scout and Sea scout, while also having Life scout rank.
I'm going to be staffing a Cub Scout summer camp over the summer. (For those who would ask which one, it's Camp May at Beaumont in the Greater St. Louis Area Council). I'm going to be a STEM counselor and, sadly, am currently the only one, so have to take over the STEM director duties. I would love to get some tips, suggestions, recommendations, or anything for a new staffer like me. I'd love to know about anything from what to pack, to good skits and songs, good ukulele songs, fun STEM activities, anything!
I'd also love for this to be a resource for other staffers!!
I'm also going to have the packing list my council has provided for me as a comment, so yall can give me recommendations or changes to that list.

Hello everybody! I am a cosplayer who will be attending Otakon 2024 and competing in the costume contest as mindfang :) I have been dying to do a homestuck performance for the masquerade but I unfortunately don’t have anyone to do it with! are they any homestuck cosplayers in the dmv looking to participate IF SO PLEASE MESSAGE ME! we have about two months and keep in mind i’ll be mindfang so possibly a vriska cosplay or other ancestor! but im truly willing to work with anyone and any character.
We can plan the song or skit as we go! i know its late notice as we have about 3 months, but I want this to work so bad. I also can drive for rehearsals and pick up and drop off as needed :) it would also be a plus to make some more homestuck friends :) I have experience on stage so no worries I don’t mind helping out or giving pointers.
let me know if anyone here is interested ::::)

You know in Tales of Arise... I sorry of miss the anime skits and cutscenes I also miss the end of battle victory quotes. It made other tales games fun too
I dont hate the game because they decided to sack those two... I am just disappointed they did decide that... I hope in the next tales games they give us those back...
Don't really care if they don't but its just what I think is all

So let me explain. I'm an 18 year old female in 12th grade. I'm a very sensitive person and have been bullied for just basically being human. I am autistic which adds onto why I get bullied. I've been going to the save school for years, and if I haven't said it already, I'll say it again. This school isn't what it used to be.
At the end of the school year, the 11th graders host a dinner event that would be considered our school's prom that we call Jr./Sr.. In this event the 11th graders are meant to put together a video, slide show, and skit describing the 12th graders in "funny" ways. Before the event we were meant to give a list of things we weren't comfortable in being in the skit and such. Me being a very sensitive person, I wrote down all the things I wouldn't want mentioned in anything at the event. Most, if not, all the things I wrote down were things I was bullied for my whole life. This included my knee injury that I was told I was faking it(which I never did and still deal with pain), me acting like an animal(I have a mental thing that makes me express emotions best in animal-like ways), talking in an accent(My school is racist because I am part German and people don't believe me when I can even speak German and have an accent even though I was born in America), and even an event that happened where I was in an emotional state bringing a bat to school.
Come the event, and instantly I knew that something was going to go wrong. The time came for the skits and videos, showing the video first. It was starting out okay, until I saw what they did for me. They made my character have wolf ears, talk in an accent, and even being limping, and at the end of the video it referenced my moment with the bat. All the things I told them not to put in. I felt myself falling apart watching the whole thing, and then went to bathroom crying.
One of the teachers came, but they didn't help any. They knew nothing about my life and was saying I'm making it too big of a deal of the whole thing and that it's just a joke. I tried explaining everything to them, and they just didn't hear me out until I said I needed some time to myself. Once I was mostly in the clear, I came out and stood with one of the other teachers.
I haven't heard anything about an apology or anything like that yet. But still this is not okay. What should I do? My class isn't going to let me live this down.

Like there are moment that out of context, one can immediately assume it's from a badly acted, badly written, melodramatic movie. But there are some moments where the comedic timing or the delivery is just right that they don't feel out of place in an intentional comedy.
One example to me is that scene where Lisa tries to get Denny to confess about his history with drugs, and Denny gives an honest answer, which proceeded by an admittedly effective quiet moment of Lisa crying and Claudette looking down, dissapointed, which gets immediately ruined with Denny saying something along the lines of "But I don't have the drugs anymore so it's okay!" with the dopiest smile ever. If Denny's hilariously terrible attempt at trying to calm down the situation didn't make this funny enough, there's Lisa's bombastic delivery of "What kind of drugs, Denny?" Which is funnier by how loud it is in contrast with the quieter earlier moments. Lisa's understandable worry and somewhat realistic reaction to Denny's situation, makes Denny look like some kind of comedy movie protagonist, who plans all these dumb schemes and somehow gets away with them in the stupidest ways possible.
There's also Mark's blunt and petty delivery of "Yes, he's dead!" to Lisa's "My god, Mark, is he dead?" It's like something out of a skit that parodies The Room or any other melodramatic soap opera. The sheer pettiness of the delivery also makes it funnier, it's like Greg Sestero was highlighting Mark's hypocrisy to call out Lisa for not piecing everything together, even though he himself was like "Wake up, Johnny! Come on!" just a second ago.

ok so i’ll share the whole story so yall hv context. back b4 covid i started following this fic. it was my favorite chatfic i absolutely adored it i rly loved leaving comments/reactions and getting prechyy’s replies back.
well maybe in like 2020 or early 21 (ill hv to check my emails to double check when) i told her that i had found her tiktok due to someone making an animatic and a skit based off her fic. and due to this i found out at the time shed been living on my fyp rent free for months like b4 id even found her fic. anyways she was thrilled and convinced me to follow her (v important note she followed me back)
so fast forward to say 2022 im starting to think abt what i want my senior quote to be (maybe tmi but i wanna give all the details) and i choose something from her fic, my favorite quote that made me laugh out loud the hardest. i go to find the fic to make sure im quoting it correctly and lo and behold its been deleted, as has her whole account.
thankfully i had took a screenshot of the quote but i was distraught bc again it was my favorite fic, the only that’s genuinely made me laugh out loud and cackle. but eventually i thght id get over it and move on.
womp womp i was wrong. last year when i submitted my senior quote (think february ish) i went on a deep dive trying to find it. luckily someone here had downloaded 31 chapters (ilysm) and i genuinely jumped for joy i was so excited and happy. hell i was actually so xcited i cldnt physically read the fic after downloading it, im only just now reading it again a whole yr later. however after going thru my emails and rereading my comments with her (i was feeling dismal sue me) i saw that she uploaded 37 chapters and i desperately want them
anyways i went on another deep dive tn and i found her tiktok and realized we’re still moots on there, however she’s deleted or privated all her posts and changed her user. no biggie ofc. which brings me to my question
would it be creepy if i dm’d her on tiktok and explained how much i love her fic and ask if she has a copy of it that i cld have ?
i’m asking bc i get how creepy that could come across and i genuinely do not want to frighten her or some shit like that, but ik as a writer myself i’d be flattered if someone sought me out like that. but idk if im in the minority with that thinking
tldr bc that’s a whole lot of words: i found my favorite authors tiktok (we are moots tht don’t interact) and want to dm and ask for a copy of a deleted fic she wrote, but i don’t want wanna come off as a stalker or anything worse
edit: hey guys ! thanks for the advice and honesty (and wow yall reply fast). i’ve chosen not to pursue her and instead be grateful for the chapters that i have been able to find, again i wouldn’t want to be creepy so thank yall for explaining to me how it could come across.

Title basically sums up this Jon Oliver skit on Bitcoin, that someone else gave me:
https://youtu.be/pLPpl2ISKTg?si=L42tmwYblRr8vAfv
Basically, they'll use real photos, & prey upon smucks like me, whom are broken from a toxic Divorce.
Figured I'd give y'all the tools you need, so ya don't have the same problem I almost had.
PS: "Almost', because she didn't get much, & ended up ghosting me the last 2 days. Pictures were real though. 🙃😭
On the plus side, I got much more than I lost, cuz I'm no longer "Broken" from my Divorce 3mo ago, & had a great boost to my ego as a Leo! 🌹🥳

I accidentally deleted my brother's files that he has been working on since 2018 as a math teacher and I've been feeling so shitty about it, I've stayed up and tried free data recovery apps and they barely got me any files. I cant pay for a paid one because of the currency difference in my country (egypt) a 100 dollars for one is 4739.88 egp which is absurd. I just want someone whos kind enough to either tell me how to get a cracked version or give me an activation code of any paid data recovery application. I can provide with any sort of proof if you think this is a skit i never beg and i hate begging as much as the next guy but i seriously need these files.

Salutations fellow First Law fans, your Lord Chamberlain from the Circle of the World Podcast is here. If you follow the podcast, first off, we appreciate your commitment to making your ears bleed.
Now, as you may have seen on our social media platforms and our Youtube channel, I subject myself to goofy skits where I do alternate takes on certain scenes throughout the series.
Well, I am here to encourage you all to give me your thoughts as to what scenes I should add to the list. So fire away! There are no wrong suggestions! Except for squelch....do not make me do anything with squelch.

Hey! I played Hundred Heroes on Game Pass and enjoyed it enough to give Suikoden a try. I had one of the games (I think IV?) a long time ago on PS2 but didn't get into it. I'm currently a decent chunk into Suikoden V and enjoying it although it's got some issues.
I'm basically looking for some recommendations on which one to play next between 3, 4 and Tactics. I'm going to wait for the remaster to play 2.
So a few questions.

1. Is there a good source of video reviews for 3, 4 and Tactics? I understand 4 isn't liked as much as the rest of the series but I'd be interested in learning why. The highest viewed reviews were a bit lackluster to me, either extremely boring or with random unnecessary skits. If there aren't good video ones is there another review source you'd recommend?
   
2. For 3, 4 and Tactics do they have major story differences or different endings locked behind recruiting everyone? I know 5 has something (don't fully spoil it, I just know I need to recruit everyone) but it's definitely a bit of a hassle having to play the game with a guide open on the other monitor I'm constantly looking at. I know 3 has fewer missables so I'm less concerned about that one, mostly 4 and Tactics. I don't mind missing a few characters if it means I can get more immersed in the game by not having to follow a guide.
   
3. Are there any out of 3, 4 and Tactics that provide a challenge? The #1 issue with Suikoden V right now I'm having is difficulty. I don't need a game to be SMT3 level hard, but I don't know if I've faced a boss that lasted longer than 3 turns. I'm even avoiding using some of the stronger characters like Zerase but it seems like using magic like...at all is just trivializing the entire game no matter who uses it. Are any of those harder or do they have a difficulty option I can turn up? I'd like an excuse to explore the systems more.