Raggie hair bows

It's as the title says. I've been playing Skyrim for ages, and I have multiple saves separated by profiles in MO2. On all of them, I have FSMP and its requirements, it works perfectly, etc. Artesian Cloaks is fully functional on all saves and profiles, except for one. On all saves, FSMP is fully functional as well.
However I recently decided to get Legacy for the first time, I installed all the associated patches for it, loaded the game, and played. All FSMP mods work perfectly and beautifully on this profile and its saves, except for Artesian Cloaks. Everything else is fine, just not this mod.
I have run LOOT several times over, FNIS, I've changed my load order manually to move various patches around, and none of it works. Artesian Cloaks just outright does not seem to work with Legacy installed.
I've also tried to reinstall FSMP and all requirements, all cloaks, XP32, Artesian Cloaks, all patches, and so on, multiple times now. Still, Artesian Cloaks only works on saves that don't use Legacy, and it does not work on the one with Legacy.
Has anyone else encountered this issue, and if so, did you find a fix? If you found a fix, what was it?
Here's my modlist for the profile:

# This file was automatically generated by Mod Organizer. +Folkvangr - Grass and Landscape Overhaul +Nature of the Wild Lands 2.0 +Nature of the Wild Lands - Riverwood Keep Patch +Lord of Coldharbour Armor and Harkon outfit replacer +SV Skjor NPC Replacer +Resplendent Armor and Greatsword SE textures +Resplendent Armor and Greatsword SE +Legacy of the Dragonborn Patches (Official) +Auriel's Armor (Ancient Falmer Armor) - Red +Legacy of the Dragonborn +XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended +Winter Is Coming SSE - Cloaks +Wildwood Echoes +Weapons Collection 3 +Weapons Collection 2 +Volkihar Knight - Vampire Armor +Vivid Weathers - Definitive Edition +Vanilla hair remake +Vallaslin Face Tattoo's Warpaint +UIExtensions +True Ayleid Race +Thrones of Skyrim +The Great Cities - Minor Cities and Towns SSE Edition +The Grand Paladin - 2021 (Remake) +The Eyes of Beauty - Vampire Eyes SE +The Axe of the Nordic Kings (ENG and RUS) +The Art of Beard - New Facial Hairs +Tera Armors Collection Special Edition UUNP +Talos Housecarl Armor Pack +Talkative Dragons +Storm Knight's Legacy Armor +Starsight Eyes +Sound Record Distributor +Solitude Docks +SMP-NPC crash fix +SkyUI +SkySight Skins - Ultra HD Male Textures and Real Feet Meshes (4K2K HIGH) +Skyrim Unlimited Rings and Amulets SSE +Skyforge Weapons SSE +Shields Of Glory SE +Shields Of Glory - Temper Patch +SC - Barsaebic Ayleid Armor for Argonia +RS Children Overhaul +Royal Armory - New Artifacts +Rourken's Relics +Riverwood Keep SE patch +Riverwood Keep SE +Relentless +Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE +Realistic Water Two SE +Realistic Elven Children (Aymar and friends reimagined) +RDO - Skyrim Unofficial Patch +RDO - AFT Patch Final +Rainbows over Waterfalls +RaceMenu +RaceCompatibility with fixes for SSE +Prisoner cart fix SMIM -Prince and the Pauper SE patches +Practical Female Armors +powerofthree's Tweaks +powerofthree's Papyrus Extender +Paradise City for Vanilla Skyrim Special Edition +PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions +Papyrus Tweaks NG +Outfit Manager +Obi's HeadHunter Armor 2K +Northern Armor Set +Nordic Adventurers Armor SSE +Niohoggr Warpaints +Neocatzeo's Resurrection Rod +My Home is Your Home +Multiple Marriages SSE +MultiCraft +More Bandit Camps SSE +Modern Brawl Bug Fix +Miraak - Dragonborn Follower SE +Lionheart - Johnskyrim +Legendary Alpha Shields 2 +Legendary Alpha Shields +KS Hairdos SSE +KS Hairdos - HDT SMP (Physics) - Unisex +KS Hairdos - HDT SMP (Physics) +Kirax_OVR_Draugr +Kirax_OVR_Collection_M +Kirax_LoA_Paladin_Platinum +Kirax_LoA_Berserker_Legendary_Frost +Kirax_Hair_Pack_M +Kirax_ACV_Thor +Kenokun's Warpaints +Kanjs War Horns +JS Armored Circlets SE +JContainers SE +Invisible Armors Enhanced +In the Shadow of the Crown - No Stone Unturned Alternative +Improved Eyes Skyrim +Immersive Weapons +Immersive Armors +Ilieh - Cry of the Damned +Hvergelmir's Aesthetics - Beards +Humanoid Vampires SE fix +Humanoid Vampires SE - Vampires use normal faces and Serana's eyes variant +Horse Armors SSE +Holy Templar Magic +High Poly Vanilla Hair +High Poly Head SV Beards +High Poly Head SE +Helmet Perk Remover +Hearthfire multiple adoptions - Now with custom home support for kids and spouse +HDT-SMP Physics Racemenu Hairs and Wigs Unisex - Male and Female - CBBE 3BA - BHUNP - HIMBO +Guard Dialogue Overhaul SE +Guard Dialogue Overhaul MCM +Glowtastic SSE +FSMPM - The FSMP MCM +Fortify Enchanting +Fores New Idles in Skyrim SE - FNIS SE +Flying Mod Overhauled +Flying Mod Beta by porroone and Flying Mod Overhaul by Indefiance (Converted for SSE) +Flickering Sunlight Shadows Fix +Faster HDT-SMP +Face Discoloration Fix +Extended Guard Dialogue +Enchanting Freedom +Dwemer Spectres Special Edition +Dwemer Outfit - Morrowind Style +Dragon Wall Wisdom - Readable Dragon Walls +Dragon Priest armor SE port (original mod by Backsteepo) +Dragon Breath VFX Edit +Don't Show Headgears +Divine Cloaks +Distant Dragon Roars +DCR - King Crusader Mega Pack +DCR - King Crusader Heavy War Regalia +Dae's Titanblade - Standalone Dwarven Greatsword +Dae's Titanaxe - Standalone Battleaxe and Boss Fight +Crown Helmets Redux +Crash Logger SSE AE VR - PDB support +Crash Logger +Craftable Ayleid Items from Beyond Skyrim Bruma +Convenient Horses +ConsoleUtilSSE +Comfy Dwemer Beds +Cloaks of Skyrim SSE +Chillwind Depths CTD Fix +Cheeky Kids +Chapter II - Jeremy Soule Inspired Music +Celtic Music in Skyrim - SE +Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - SSE +Carry Weight Modifiers +Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE- +Bulk Enchanting Redone +Body Paints patch +Body Paints 3 +Body Paints 2 +Body Paints +Blackreach Eerie Ambience +Beyond Skyrim - Wares of Tamriel SE +Beyond Skyrim - Bruma DLC Patch +Beyond Skyrim - Bruma Assets +Beyond Skyrim - Bruma +Better MessageBox Controls +Beards of Power +BDOR SAM Addon - Atanis +BDOR SAM Addon - Anemos +BDOR SAM Addon - Aker Guard +Base Object Swapper +Bandolier - Bags and Pouches Classic +Bandit Lines Expansion +Ayleid Lich Crown - Cut Content Restored (Anniversary Edition - The Cause) +Axe Of The Sea +Auriel's Quiver and Arrows - Gold and Argent Retexture +Auriel's Chapel Restored +Auriel's Bow - Gold and Argent Retexture +Artesian Cloaks of Skyrim +Armor of Hircine +ApachiiSkyHair SSE helmet wigs +ApachiiSkyHair SSE +Animated Wings Ultimate +Animated Ships Patches +Animated Ships +Ambient Warfare +Amazing Follower Tweaks SE +Alduin's Champion - a Boss Mod +Aetherium Armor and Weapons Compilation by lautasantenni +Aetherial Crown +Address Library for SKSE Plugins +Achievements Mods Enabler +[Kirax] BDOR 2024 Collection - Male -(ESL) Dwemer Dogs Companions SE *Creation Club: _ResourcePack *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE001-Fish *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE037-Curios *Creation Club: ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode *DLC: Dawnguard *DLC: Dragonborn *DLC: HearthFires *Unmanaged: anyonefollows2 *Unmanaged: ApachiiHairMales 

I don't have kids, so I'm genuinely asking. Is this normal? I don't think it is. I remember her posting about buying all of these cute boy clothes and linking them. Yet he's always in pajamas.... It seems sad lol. And lazy considering E is ALWAYS dressed with a bow in her hair. Tell me who's your favorite without telling me who's your favorite....
I'll put money down now that he turns up in cute clothes a ball cap or sunglasses now since she lurks here too.

Genocide looked to the sky. He thought of his mentor. The one who had saved him. He remembered his childhood. How powerless he was. He remembered the anger. He never wanted to hurt anybody. He thought of all the times he showed compassion. How much they hurt him for it. He saw the world before him, a graveyard. Humans. People that were supposed to be made in the image of some divine creator. They were but maggots feasting upon his remains. They ate away at his very being until nothing human remained. His thoughts were no longer his own. He had no joys in life that mattered. He hated humanity more than he could love anything about himself. He remember his first killing spree. Being gunned down by police. Left for dead. He remembered a hooded figure moving towards him. Getting closer the more he neared his death. He saw its pale face. Its impossibly black eyes. It was a man. This figure in question appeared to be of Japanese nationality with long, straight, loose hair. It emanated extreme malice. It offered him a choice. A purpose. Power. He thought the figure a reaper but it identified itself as Amakusa Masataka. Masataka guided him on how to kill and gave him specific locations to kill people in. In a sense, he became a hitman for quotas of people. He inquired what Masataka was. The presence of evil, his ability to appear and disappear at will, how he could control what people could see him and what people couldn't. While vague, years of killing for this being offered some insight. Amakusa Masataka belonged to a group of people not of this world. His people had been corrupted by a dark force long ago and had aligned themselves with the warlord who had subjugated their version of Japan. Their dark high priest assisted the warlord along with two others. These four rulers in turn served a larger order. The four were tasked with bringing about the end of the current world as an act of retribution for some fallen deity. Masataka's people acted as covert operatives for this empire. They were feared across the land and were collectively referred to as "Shinigami". An agent of the coming apocalypse, a servant of evil possessed by the will of those gods of death, Genocide would walk the earth.
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".

My car's transmission is on the fritz, so it's in the shop and I'm working from home for at least today. Thank goodness I can even work from home, or things would be a lot more complicated. Anyways, that's just a bit of a vent. I've also decided that I might do little lore-esque prechapter bits for some extra flavor. Hope you guys enjoy them! I find them to be fun little thought experiments on how people might perceive the world I've created from within vs from my own perspective. Enjoy some crafting and some romance!
First Previous Next
We know that the spots that are caused by looking at a source of light are, in fact, damage of some sort to the eye. This is confirmed by the spots rapidly disappearing should someone be healed whilst experiencing them. But why? Is there a divinity within light, beyond what our mortal eyes can withstand? Is there some sort of invisible emanation that comes alongside the light that damages us in some way? The discovery of light damaging the eye has opened more questions for me than it has closed.
-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where he’d want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair he’d chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldn’t sleep anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
“Mmf,” She grunted as she stretched. “Morning, Xander. You got back late.”
“Morning, yourself,” Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. “Yeah... Yeah, I guess I did.”
“What were you doing, anyway?” She asked, curious. “You didn’t mention that you’d be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.”
“I uh... went on a date.”
“I knew it! ‘Comparing notes’ was a date!” Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
“It was not!” Xander complained. “But we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.”
“Awhh, that’s so cute,” Gabrelle said. “Did it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?”
“I think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think she’s nice. Maybe a little shy. I think she’s gotten used to being treated differently by people. I don’t think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.”
“Ooooh, look at you! You’re growing up so fast!” Gabrelle teased.
“Oh hush. I’m older than you!” Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. “But ah, if I’m going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.”
“We need to stop sleeping together?” Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
“Yeah... It doesn’t feel right, even though it’s just platonic between us. I don’t think I would appreciate being in Valteria’s situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.”
“Well, I figured this would happen eventually,” Gabrelle said. “Either you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Don’t get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I don’t have nearly as much trouble sleeping when I’m with the team.”
“Thanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.”
“You know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?”
“Ah, shit, you’re right. I forgot.”
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
“Mornin’” Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
“Morning,” Xander greeted back.
“Glad to see you made it back, we were wondering if you’d be out all night,” Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
“I was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.” Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Bah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is what’s in store for me.” Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. “You going to be going back to that [Tinker] you’ve been spending time with lately?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.”
“Welp,” Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, “I hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s – not saying I dislike them, just that I haven’t had much experience with them – so it don’t make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.”
“I think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,” Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteria’s, he asked Graffus, “Hey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?”
Graffus shrugged. “Dunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. That’s generally what we’ve sold monster parts to that didn’t go to a smith or leatherworker.”
“Thanks, Graffus.”
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasn’t long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt he’d waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
“Excuse me,” Xander said, grabbing the shopkeep’s attention.
“Mm?” The dwarf said questioningly. “Can I help you find something?”
“I was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.”
“Aye, I’ve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then – not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?” The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
“Uhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.”
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. “This here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.”
Xander could see the dwarf’s arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. “How much?” He asked.
“Twenty gold.”
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasn’t an issue for him anymore, and he didn’t feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. “Sure.” He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. “Thanks for the business,” he told Xander. “Anything else you find yourself in need of?”
“Not at the moment, but thanks for asking.” Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteria’s shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job he’d done on Valteria’s armor. He’d need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms he’d created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteria’s home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. “Morning,” he called out.
“Xander! Hello!” Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench she’d been at yesterday. Jarrett didn’t seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasn’t able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Good, it’s going good,” Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. “How about yourself?”
“Not bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.” Xander laughed. “I even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.” Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
“Core?” She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. “Lightning attuned?”
“That’s what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,” Xander affirmed. “Said it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.”
“Mmm, a good practice piece, then.”
“I thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.”
“Well, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.”
“Sounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?”
“Well, the concept is simple enough. It’s a tube which conducts mana,” Valteria began to explain.
“Mmhm.” Xander nodded along.
“What you need is a setting – usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity – which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.”
“So we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadn’t thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.”
“Oh really?” Valteria said, interested. “What were your results?”
“Well, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill – both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune – but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.”
“Mmm... interesting. I’ve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasn’t mentioned.” Valteria cleared her throat. “Uhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core – or monster organ, if you’re going that route – you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.” Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. “I have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good to me,” Xander said. “I always love to see a master as work,” he added, opting for a little flattery.
“Follow me, then.” Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf she’d been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. “Nature attuned core,” She explained, holding it for Xander to see. “I’m told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.” Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. “This thing,” Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, “is a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.” She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
“Neat.” Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. “So where’s Jarrett today?” He asked.
“Oh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,” Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. “Now we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.”
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. “There,” she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. “A perfectly serviceable setting."
“So, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material – the more surface area, the better, hence the holes – to create a setting?”
“Mmhmm,” Valteria said, nodding.
“Seems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring that’s wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?”
“You absolutely can, if space isn’t an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if it’s just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so it’s considered a three part creation.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to try making your own, now? I don’t mind lending you a little wire.”
“Sure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesn’t last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.”
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
“So, you can just... make things?” Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
“Well, it costs mana, and anything I make that isn’t provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,” he added, cutting off Valteria’s complaint of unfairness, “I have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I don’t have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?”
“Okayyy,” Valteria huffed. “I guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.” She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. “Well, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! It’ll be nice to have it up and moving again.”
“Sure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?” Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
“It’s in a shed behind the house,” Valteria explained. “I have it on a hoist so I can work on it.”
“Ah, that would explain why I haven’t seen it around.”
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small ‘closed’ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteria’s armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person – two, if they were comfortable with each other – inside it.
“So this is where the magic happens?” Xander asked.
“If by ‘magic’ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,” Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. “This thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,” he said.
Valteria giggled, “Stop it! You’re supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!”
“Awh, can’t I do both?” Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
“Mmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,” Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
“Well, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,” Xander replied. “Now, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?”
Valteria sighed at Xander’s antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. “Well, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They aren’t welded all the way round, it’s more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, that’s should be all that’s needed.”
“Pretty straightforward,” Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where he’d slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
“You’re... very close,” Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
“Would you like me not to be?” He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, “No...” quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteria’s reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. “You’re… a really good kisser.”
“Yeah?” Xander said, pleased with himself. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And you’re a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,” Valteria continued. “Now you’ve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?” She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. “Forgive me,” he said formally, making a deep bow, “How ever can I make it up to the lady?”
“Oh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,” Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. “You can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?” She added, hopefully.
“I think that can be arranged,” Xander said. “Is there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I haven’t become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my… dietary restrictions.”
“It doesn’t… make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?” Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
“Nah, don’t worry,” Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. “It doesn’t bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so I’m not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,” he said with a laugh.
“Alright, if you say so,” Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. “I was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.” She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. “What do you miss? If you don’t mind my asking. I just… well, I’m curious what it’s like for you.”
“Mmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, I’m technically doing better than I was before. I’m incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but it’s just not the same. Also means I’m the one that pulls guard duty through the night,” he grumbled. “Let’s see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I can’t smell anything. Or taste. I haven’t worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I don’t know if you’ve done much merc work – you mentioned being surprised that I’m not just moonlighting – but uh… the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are… unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but I’ve resolved that. It’s a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but I’ve become accustomed to it to the point that I don’t much think about the difference anymore. I think I’ve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. I’m still immune to being tickled though, so don’t even think about it – that’s a fight you’ll lose.” Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. “I think… the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, there’s that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like I’m secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.”
Valteria nodded sadly. “I get that. I’ve been… rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.”
“Yeah,” Xander said. “People can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since it’s on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You can’t do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that I’d want you to hide what or who you are,” he added. “I happen to be quite enamored with who you are,” he said, teasing a smile from Valteria’s sad face.
“Sorry to bring up such a dour topic,” Valteria apologized. “I didn’t think much on it before I asked.”
“No worries,” Xander told her. “Honestly, I think it’s good to be able to talk about it with someone. It’s healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where I’m coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.”
“You’re surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,” Valteria said, only half teasing.
“Only sometimes?” Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. “By the way, you didn’t react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?”
Valteria shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.”
“Mm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,” Xander said.
“It’s also good for business,” Valteria explained. “Mercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.”
“Ah, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.”
“Oh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, let’s see… I’ve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.”
“Ooh, that does sound fun… reminds me of my flamethrower.”
“Your flamethrower?”
“Yeah, it’s basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid – I use dragon’s tar – to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! You’ve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,” Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
“That’s… impressive. And kind of horrifying,” Valteria responded.
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,” Xander shuddered. “But yeah, I suppose it’s not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.”
“Hmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didn’t have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.”
“Put that on the list and we’ll get around to it sometime.”
“We have a list?” Valteria said confusedly.
“We should!” Xander said with a laugh. “Now let’s get the rest of these joints done.”
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. “Good as new!” He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, “It is good as new, right?”
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. “Hmm? Oh, yes. It’s right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,” She said awkwardly.
“Well I’m the one who broke it, so it’s only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?” Xander asked. “I could do some rune work for you. Orrr… we could kiss some more?”
Valteria flushed at the question, but didn’t immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. “I think… you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.”
“What, you didn’t like it?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that,” Valteria said with a smirk.

I'm new to skyrim and modding in general but I read on load order is important that the game runs properly but I have no idea what or how to exactly sort it properly. Could anybody give a general guideline to follow. Currently whenever i encounter any problems i either do: a) Skip the mod entirely after searching the mods and found it might be too complex to follow b) Reinstall Skyrim and hope for the best c) Enable and disable mods to find out which is working or not working
Here's my plugin modlist if it helps
0 0 Skyrim.esm
1 1 Update.esm
2 2 Dawnguard.esm
3 3 HearthFires.esm
4 4 Dragonborn.esm
5 5 ccASVSSE001-ALMSIVI.esm
6 6 ccBGSSSE001-Fish.esm
254 FE 0 ccBGSSSE002-ExoticArrows.esl
254 FE 1 ccBGSSSE003-Zombies.esl
254 FE 2 ccBGSSSE004-RuinsEdge.esl
254 FE 3 ccBGSSSE005-Goldbrand.esl
254 FE 4 ccBGSSSE006-StendarsHammer.esl
254 FE 5 ccBGSSSE007-Chrysamere.esl
254 FE 6 ccBGSSSE010-PetDwarvenArmoredMudcrab.esl
254 FE 7 ccBGSSSE011-HrsArmrElvn.esl
254 FE 8 ccBGSSSE012-HrsArmrStl.esl
254 FE 9 ccBGSSSE014-SpellPack01.esl
254 FE a ccBGSSSE019-StaffofSheogorath.esl
254 FE b ccBGSSSE020-GrayCowl.esl
254 FE c ccBGSSSE021-LordsMail.esl
254 FE d ccMTYSSE001-KnightsOfTheNine.esl
254 FE e ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode.esl
7 7 ccTWBSSE001-PuzzleDungeon.esm
8 8 ccEEJSSE001-Hstead.esm
254 FE f ccQDRSSE002-Firewood.esl
254 FE 10 ccBGSSSE018-Shadowrend.esl
254 FE 11 ccBGSSSE035-PetNHound.esl
254 FE 12 ccFSVSSE001-Backpacks.esl
254 FE 13 ccEEJSSE002-Tower.esl
254 FE 14 ccEDHSSE001-NorJewel.esl
254 FE 15 ccVSVSSE002-Pets.esl
254 FE 16 ccBGSSSE037-Curios.esl
254 FE 17 ccBGSSSE034-MntUni.esl
254 FE 18 ccBGSSSE045-Hasedoki.esl
254 FE 19 ccBGSSSE008-Wraithguard.esl
254 FE 1a ccBGSSSE036-PetBWolf.esl
254 FE 1b ccFFBSSE001-ImperialDragon.esl
254 FE 1c ccMTYSSE002-VE.esl
254 FE 1d ccBGSSSE043-CrossElv.esl
254 FE 1e ccVSVSSE001-Winter.esl
254 FE 1f ccEEJSSE003-Hollow.esl
9 9 ccBGSSSE016-Umbra.esm
10 a ccBGSSSE031-AdvCyrus.esm
254 FE 20 ccBGSSSE038-BowofShadows.esl
254 FE 21 ccBGSSSE040-AdvObGobs.esl
254 FE 22 ccBGSSSE050-BA_Daedric.esl
254 FE 23 ccBGSSSE052-BA_Iron.esl
254 FE 24 ccBGSSSE054-BA_Orcish.esl
254 FE 25 ccBGSSSE058-BA_Steel.esl
254 FE 26 ccBGSSSE059-BA_Dragonplate.esl
254 FE 27 ccBGSSSE061-BA_Dwarven.esl
254 FE 28 ccPEWSSE002-ArmsOfChaos.esl
254 FE 29 ccBGSSSE041-NetchLeather.esl
254 FE 2a ccEDHSSE002-SplKntSet.esl
254 FE 2b ccBGSSSE064-BA_Elven.esl
254 FE 2c ccBGSSSE063-BA_Ebony.esl
254 FE 2d ccBGSSSE062-BA_DwarvenMail.esl
254 FE 2e ccBGSSSE060-BA_Dragonscale.esl
254 FE 2f ccBGSSSE056-BA_Silver.esl
254 FE 30 ccBGSSSE055-BA_OrcishScaled.esl
254 FE 31 ccBGSSSE053-BA_Leather.esl
254 FE 32 ccBGSSSE051-BA_DaedricMail.esl
254 FE 33 ccBGSSSE057-BA_Stalhrim.esl
254 FE 34 ccBGSSSE066-Staves.esl
11 b ccBGSSSE067-DaedInv.esm
254 FE 35 ccBGSSSE068-Bloodfall.esl
254 FE 36 ccBGSSSE069-Contest.esl
254 FE 37 ccVSVSSE003-NecroArts.esl
254 FE 38 ccVSVSSE004-BeAFarmer.esl
12 c ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS.esm
254 FE 39 ccFFBSSE002-CrossbowPack.esl
254 FE 3a ccBGSSSE013-Dawnfang.esl
254 FE 3b ccRMSSSE001-NecroHouse.esl
254 FE 3c ccEDHSSE003-Redguard.esl
254 FE 3d ccEEJSSE004-Hall.esl
13 d ccEEJSSE005-Cave.esm
254 FE 3e ccKRTSSE001_Altar.esl
254 FE 3f ccCBHSSE001-Gaunt.esl
14 e ccAFDSSE001-DweSanctuary.esm
254 FE 40 _ResourcePack.esl
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp
unofficial skyrim creation club content patch.esl
LegacyoftheDragonborn.esm
Occ_Skyrim_Tamriel.esp
Campfire.esm
FlowerGirls SE.esm
TrueHUD.esl
SurvivalControlPanel.esp
Experience.esl
Schlongs of Skyrim - Core.esm
High Poly Head.esm
Expressive Facegen Morphs.esl
OCPA.esl
SkyUI_SE.esp
SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp
Audio Overhaul Skyrim.esp
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul.esp
Immersive Jewelry.esp
AI Overhaul.esp
DungeonsRevisited.esp
Hand Placed Enemies.esp
Immersive Encounters.esp
Hothtrooper44_ArmorCompilation.esp
Point The Way.esp
0Kaidan.esp
Cloaks.esp
Immersive Weapons.esp
Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim.esp
Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim.esp
ImprovedCompanionsBoogaloo.esp
DBM_IW_Patch.esp
ElysiumEstate.esp
Schlongs of Skyrim.esp
SOS - Shop.esp
Occ_Skyrim-Legacy_of_Dragonborn_patch.esp
isilNarsil.esp
Hothtrooper44_Armor_Ecksstra.esp
LABikiniSSE.esp
icepenguinworldmapclassic.esp
Ars Metallica.esp
Cloaks - Dawnguard.esp
Cloaks - USSEP Patch.esp
My Home Is Your Home.esp
Fenrir Blades.esp
Bijin Warmaidens.esp
RichMerchantsSkyrim_x5.esp
The Huntsman.esp
UIExtensions.esp
RaceMenu.esp
XPMSE.esp
AddItemMenuSE.esp
RaceMenuPlugin.esp
FNIS.esp
DSerArcheryGameplayOverhaul.esp
UltimateCombat.esp
Sarta Sword.esp
VioLens SE.esp
DSerCombatGameplayOverhaul.esp
MithrodinSword.esp
Sarah Follower.esp
SOSRaceMenu.esp
CBBE.esp
RaceMenuMorphsCBBE.esp
NibeneanArmorsAndOutfit.esp
CL's Crissaegrim.esp
MCMHelper.esp
MovementMCO.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack.esp
TrueDirectionalMovement.esp
Precision.esp
AX KaidanArsenal.esp
BetterQuestObjectives.esp
BetterQuestObjectives - LOTD Patch.esp
AX KaidanArmory.esp
SmoothCam.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack 2.esp
ValhallaCombat.esp
Attack_MCO.esp
KatanaCrafting.esp
IA CBBE Patch.esp
ImperialStormcloakRangerSet.esp
12FemaleBrows.esp
Keytrace.esp
scar-adxp-patch.esp
I4IconAddon.esp
Arena.esp
HotKeySkill.esp
BowRapidCombo.esp
beltfastenedquivers.esp
Chesko_WearableLantern.esp
EnhancedAtronachs.esp
BetterThirdPersonSelection.esp
Alternate Dual Wield Weapon Speed.esp
Sojourn Over Signposts.esp
JaxonzMCMKicker.esp
ValhallaBackStabFix.esp
FPSBoost.esp
Insignificant Object Remover.esp
WaitYourTurn.esp
SkyrimReputation_SSE.esp
BuyStatsPerks.esp
Skyrim Reputation Improved.esp
Skyrim Reputation Patch.esp
AutomaticItemStorage.esp
Ursine Armour - Non HDT.esp
weight_usleep.esp
Armor of Intrigue.esp
UnreadBooksGlow.esp
TransmuteSoulGems.esp
SOS - Smurf Average Addon.esp
SOS - VectorPlexus Regular Addon.esp
[dint999] HairPack02.esp
Realistic AI Detection 3 - Medium Interior, Medium Exterior.esp
SlightlyFasterDaggers.esp
Book Of Shadows.esp
Nicos Reversed Daggers.esp
ObiWarpaintsTattoos.esp
ObiTattoos.esp
DBVO.esp
Hydra's Reversed Daggers.esp
BW Lydia.esp
LeftHandRings.esp
ImmersiveJewelryXSummermyst - Unrestricted.esp
DBM_UnreadBooksGlow_Patch.esp
DBM_ImmersiveJewelry_Patch.esp
DBM_CloaksofSkyrim_Patch.esp
DBM_SMIM_Patch.esp
AI Overhaul - RDO Updated Patch.esp
BW ifd Lydia patch.esp
IFDL_BijinAlt_Patch.esp
DBM_IA_Patch.esp
LydiaPatch.esp
LydiaPatchForLOTD.esp
zhenli 1.esp
AkaviriTsurugi.esp
OrcPonytailsForHumans.esp
loki_POISE.esp
KS Hairdo's.esp
OneClickPowerAttackMCM.esp
Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul.esp
Convenient Horses.esp
Convenient Horses Anniversary Edition Patch.esp
Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim.esp
AutomaticItemStorage - Ordinator Patch.esp
Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp
BetterQuestObjectives-AlternateStartPatch.esp
nwsFollowerFramework.esp
And here's the left panel modlist :
*DLC: HearthFires *DLC: Dragonborn *DLC: Dawnguard *Creation Club: ccVSVSSE004-BeAFarmer *Creation Club: ccVSVSSE003-NecroArts *Creation Club: ccVSVSSE002-Pets *Creation Club: ccVSVSSE001-Winter *Creation Club: ccTWBSSE001-PuzzleDungeon *Creation Club: ccRMSSSE001-NecroHouse *Creation Club: ccQDRSSE002-Firewood *Creation Club: ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode *Creation Club: ccPEWSSE002-ArmsOfChaos *Creation Club: ccMTYSSE002-VE *Creation Club: ccMTYSSE001-KnightsOfTheNine *Creation Club: ccKRTSSE001_Altar *Creation Club: ccFSVSSE001-Backpacks *Creation Club: ccFFBSSE002-CrossbowPack *Creation Club: ccFFBSSE001-ImperialDragon *Creation Club: ccEEJSSE005-Cave *Creation Club: ccEEJSSE004-Hall *Creation Club: ccEEJSSE003-Hollow *Creation Club: ccEEJSSE002-Tower *Creation Club: ccEEJSSE001-Hstead *Creation Club: ccEDHSSE003-Redguard *Creation Club: ccEDHSSE002-SplKntSet *Creation Club: ccEDHSSE001-NorJewel *Creation Club: ccCBHSSE001-Gaunt *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE069-Contest *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE068-Bloodfall *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE067-DaedInv *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE066-Staves *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE064-BA_Elven *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE063-BA_Ebony *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE062-BA_DwarvenMail *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE061-BA_Dwarven *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE060-BA_Dragonscale *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE059-BA_Dragonplate *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE058-BA_Steel *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE057-BA_Stalhrim *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE056-BA_Silver *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE055-BA_OrcishScaled *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE054-BA_Orcish *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE053-BA_Leather *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE052-BA_Iron *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE051-BA_DaedricMail *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE050-BA_Daedric *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE045-Hasedoki *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE043-CrossElv *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE041-NetchLeather *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE040-AdvObGobs *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE038-BowofShadows *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE037-Curios *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE036-PetBWolf *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE035-PetNHound *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE034-MntUni *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE031-AdvCyrus *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE021-LordsMail *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE020-GrayCowl *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE019-StaffofSheogorath *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE018-Shadowrend *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE016-Umbra *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE014-SpellPack01 *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE013-Dawnfang *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE012-HrsArmrStl *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE011-HrsArmrElvn *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE010-PetDwarvenArmoredMudcrab *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE008-Wraithguard *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE007-Chrysamere *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE006-StendarsHammer *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE005-Goldbrand *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE004-RuinsEdge *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE003-Zombies *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE002-ExoticArrows *Creation Club: ccBGSSSE001-Fish *Creation Club: ccASVSSE001-ALMSIVI *Creation Club: ccAFDSSE001-DweSanctuary *Creation Club: _ResourcePack -1.Bug & Game Patches_separator +- USSEP- Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch +First Person Animation Teleport Bug Fix +- USCCCP -Unofficial Skyrim Creation Club Content Patches +Alternate Start - Live Another Life - SSE +SSE Display Tweaks +powerofthree's Tweaks +AddItemMenu - Ultimate Mod Explorer -2.Overhaul and UI_separator +SkyUI +Survival Control Panel +SkyUI Config Tweak - Equipped Items On Top SE +Dear Diary +Dear Diary DM and Paper (Squish) Fixes +Quest Journal Fixes +SkyUI - Survival Mode Integration +SkyUI SE - Difficulty Persistence Fix +Audio Overhaul for Skyrim (4.1.2) +Sound Record Distributor +JContainers SE +ConsoleUtilSSE NG +ConsoleUtilSSE +Dragonborn Voice Over +Dragonborn Voice Over (DBVO) - Plugin Replacer +Geralt DBVO Pack +Talion DBVO Voice Pack +Compass Navigation Overhaul +Infinity UI +UIExtensions +Convenient Horses +Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim +Combat Gameplay Overhaul SE +Ultimate Combat SE +Archery Gameplay Overhaul SE +Even Better Quest Objectives SE +SmoothCam +SmoothCam - Modern Camera Preset +MCM Helper +Jaxonz MCM Kicker SE +TrueHUD - HUD Additions +Address Library for SKSE Plugins +Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE +AI Overhaul SSE +Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim +RaceMenu +Racemenu Patch GOG +PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions +Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim +A Quality World Map +Attack MCO-DXP +VioLens - A Killmove Mod SE +Movement MCO-DXP +Precision +Raven's Awareness - AC-Valhalla inspired TrueHud color preset +Arena - An Encounter Zone Overhaul +Hand Placed Enemies - More populated spawns dungeons and POIs +Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul +POISE - Stagger Overhaul SKSE +POISE - Stagger Overhaul - NG +Wait Your Turn - Enemy Circling Behaviour +Nether's Follower Framework +Project New Reign - Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine -3.Mission & Quest Mods_separator -4.Environmental Mods_separator -5.Cities,Town Add Ons_separator -6.Building Add Ons ( Within Cities )_separator -7.Plant & Foliage Mods_separator -8.Gameplay Changes & Tweaks_separator +Valhalla Combat +True Directional Movement - Modernized Third Person Gameplay +Campfire - Complete Camping System (Supports Skyrim VR) +-CBBE- Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer +XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended +XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended - Fixed Scripts +Schlongs of Skyrim SE +Fair Skin Complexion +Flower Girls SE and VR +Better MessageBox Controls +Rich Skyrim Merchants +Experience +Bow Rapid Combo V3 +Compatibility Patch for Archery Gameplay Overhaul (AGO) and XP32 Skeleton Styles MCM +One Click Power Attack MCM +One Click Power Attack NG -9.Animations_separator -Open Animation Replacer -Vanargand Animations - Sword Dual Wield Moveset MCO - SkySA -Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Normal and Power Attacks -Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Thrusts -Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Strikes -Vanargand Animations - Archery -Dual Wield Sword MCO Moveset -Borgut1337's Dual Wield Parrying Non-SKSE Random Attacks (Oldrim conversion) -Elder Creed - Odyssey Dual Wield Dagger Moveset -Dual Wielding Unlocker -Elden RIM x DS3 Mashup I Dual wield katana moveset (MCO I SCAR) -ER Dual Wield Sword (MCO) -Vanargand Animations - Sneak idle walk and run -MCO - ADXP - Elder Creed - Blade -3rd Person Dual Wield Animation Fix SSE -Extra Drawing Animations -Disable Turn Animation SE I AE -Paired Animation Improvements -Animation Queue Fix -Animation Motion Revolution -Dynamic Activation Key -Immersive Interactions - Animated Actions -Open Animation Replacer - IED Conditions -Payload Interpreter -10.Texture Mods_separator +Cloaks of Skyrim SSE +Immersive Weapons +Bijin Warmaidens SE +Fenrir Blades +Sarta - Leather Wrapped Sword +Lazy Weapon Pack +Lazy Weapon Pack 2 +CL's Crissaegrim +Isilmeriel LOTR Weapons Collection SSE +Katana Crafting - SE +Mithrodin Sword +The Huntsman SE +Nibenean Armors and Outfit SE - UNP - UNPB - CBBE by Xtudo +Immersive Armors +Immersive Armours - SSE CBBE 3BA BodySlide +Imperial or Stormcloak Ranger Set SE +Kaidan's Arsenal +Kaidan 2 +Sithis Armour - Special Edition +Kaidan's Armory Samurai for HIMBO +Kaidan's Armory +BodySlide and Outfit Studio +Legendary Armors - Bikini SSE Beta +The Bathsheba Body (BSB) +Sarah - My character as a follower SE by Xtudo +Cleaned and Modernized Keybinds - Controlmap.txt +SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution +SCAR AE Support -Weapon Styles - DrawSheathe Animations for IED +Immersive Equipment Displays +Hot Key Skill +Dynamic Bow Animation +Dynamic Key Action Framework NG +dTry's Key Utils +dTry Plugin Updates +Inventory Interface Information Injector +Belt-Fastened Quivers +Better Jumping SE +Spell Perk Item Distributor +Enhanced Atronachs - With Levelling and Luminosity +Enemy (R)Evolution of Skyrim - EEOS +Wearable Lanterns +Dungeons - Revisited +Better Third Person Selection - BTPS +Immersive World Encounters SE +Elysium Estate SSE +Point The Way +Sojourn Over Signposts - Witcher-Style Fast Travel Alternative +Alternate Dual Wield Weapon Speed +Valhalla Combat - Backstab Bug Fix +Trainwreck - A Crash Logger +Backported Extended ESL Support +powerofthree's Papyrus Extender +eFPS - Exterior FPS boost +eFPS - Official Patch Hub +Low Resolution Particles +Insignificant Object Remover +SSE Engine Fixes (skse64 plugin) +Papyrus Tweaks NG +Skyrim Priority SE AE - CPU Performance FPS Optimizer +My Home is Your Home +Ars Metallica - Smithing Enhancement +Sovngarde - A Nordic Font +Skyrim Reputation +Skyrim Reputation - Fixed and Patched +Skyrim Reputation Improved +Buy Stats and Perks +Automatic Item Storage +AutomaticItemStorage - Ordinator Patch +Reduced weight of Ingredients and Potions +Armor of Intrigue SE +Grandmaster Ursine Armour - Special Edition +Behavior Data Injector Universal Support +Unread Books Glow SSE +Experience - MCM +Legacy of the Dragonborn +Legacy of the Dragonborn Patches (Official) +Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations +Transmute Soul Gem +Book Of Shadows - Behaviour Based Stealth Additions +Realistic AI Detection (RAID) +Nicos Reversed Daggers +Reversed Daggers Moveset for MCO +Hydra's Reversed Daggers +Hydra's Reversed Daggers Keyword patch for MCO Reversed Daggers Moveset +Slightly Faster Daggers +Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice +High Poly Head SE +Obi's Warpaints 2K +Obi's Tattoos 3BA 4K +Hairpack +Tempered Skins for Males - Nude Version +Tryael - The True Nord - Male Nord Preset +Ragnar and Brenna - Nord Presets for Racemenu +Immersive Jewelry SSE +Static Mesh Improvement Mod +Dialogue Interface ReShaped +Sarah as Lydia - Improved Follower Dialogue - Lydia patch +Lydia - Private Version - High Poly Head +Lydia Private Version +Improved Follower Dialogue - Lydia +Expressive Facial Animation -Female Edition- +Expressive Facegen Morphs SE +Bijin Warmaidens Patch Improved Follower Dialogue Lydia +Akaviri Tsurugi +Su Zhen li Two weapons +Left Hand Rings Modified SE +Bug Fixes SSE +Summermyst X Immersive Jewelry +AI Overhaul SSE - Official Patch Hub +Wearable Lanterns MCM Fixed No DLL Error +Dear Diary Paper Anniversary Edition Main Menu Patch +KS Hairdos SSE +Orc Shaved Ponytails for Humans SE +Nemesis Animation +Papyrus Ini Manipulator +Behavior Data Injector

I used to have shorter hair which allowed me to wear a durag at nighttime, but now my hair is much too long to wear one.
Being a man, I’d rather not wear a bonnet lol
So I bought some large silk bandanas so I could use these as a head wrap, however all the different styles I’ve come across online are kinda feminine (e.g. tie in the front with a bow)
How can I style these silk bandanas in a unisex/masculine way?

(this will be long but detailed like a romance novel)
For most of my life, I was faced with obstacles and hardships. But always believed in my capacity to change. Without this belief, I wouldn't be here now telling you all my story...and the ultimate reunion with him...I wonder would it be better if were to tell you all my story of us individually ? Though my hunch is its best to get straight to it. what I'm hoping for is that anyone here was wondering if their TF is their real TF or how others journey is going. I think by being pedantically transparent can be left for others to interpret. Personally, the common themes of my TF experience so far is...its never been a feeling of having to be together as a goal but having true company...true growth. Its a pure love for another human. We are learning a great deal from one another and on heading the same trajectory. I'm leaving out my signs that we both are connected. I hope my story reflects the layers of duality.
In 2020, everything from the universe was telling me to slow down. I had sprained both my ankles and was out for much of the year and on top of that had to sit with all my decisions. Upon doing a life assessment, I found both my self love/worth and strength of convictions and the courage to navigate new decisions. Out with the old and completely in with the new. When an idea dies, it truly dies. I buried that year: the old parts of me, friendships, career, habits, yadda yadda.
2021 emerges, I'm working on the same Project and was arranging my pay rate with this , at this point unbeknownst to me, my TF. Our communication from the get go was easy and smooth. Though we also had obviously annoyances. He would control when I get information (getting in my way) which affected my jobs at some points but most part it was interesting. Upon meeting at a location for the first time (work related), We both had our face masks. As he enters ... I say his name and look at his eyes. There was a long silence and what seemed to be an instant knowingness. At that moment, I was quite in disbelief as I haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. I wanted to know who I was in my entirety and to truly know what its like to be in a relationship with myself. This being said, I thought nothing of it and made a small fleeting note. "hmm?" He just kept staring at my eyes. I believe this is when we read "love at first sight" or "attraction at first sight" and completely recognition.
Each week he would try to talk with me, though I found he was a bit suspicious. I would be really outwardly weird, reactive by being surprised to indifferent. This would go on for weeks, he gave up and ignored me, then I realized I didn't need to be so cold. But its like, how am I in that current moment take all this "mystical" "magical" "fairytale" type connection ? Anyways...I started studying him, I found it was quite easy to know who he is. Everyone says "he's so calm" that he is. But I also sensed is anxieties, when he is trying to investigate me but covering up that he needs some work document, I simply, understand without fuss, what's really going on underneath the surface. I was sitting at a desk listening to someone and I quickly knew my TF was walking pass my office. As he is passing, time completely stops, i was bothered by him looking at him so I gave him an angry eye stare (with face mask) show down but suddenly my eyes soften and we are in trance. On our project, we had a 2 week break for the holidays...Upon return it is now 2022
2022: Upon return, he was indifferent to my eccentricities, I took the break to sit with myself as to how to approach him in the new year...I asked him how his break was....he looks down takes a deep sigh. And for the longest time...it seems he is reflecting and withholding. For some reason, I KNEW he was with a karmic. He didn't seem happy and was quite tired. He replies that it was very....and to which I expressed by cutting off mid-sentence "tiring and instead of rejuvenation" ....he goes "exactly" This right here is when I truly believed that this experience is special. At this point, I didn't really think of him as TF. In fact, I didn't really believe in this concept till now.
One day TF bumps into me by some stairs, It surprised me and as he is walking by he tells me simply "Its okay, I'm the same way"...I look back as he is walking up the stairs and we look into each others eyes. We go back to our busy work day. I felt so sad honestly, was less focused on him and more on how to get off the project and endure my condescending bosses. I also was quite touched by his integrity and compassion and forgiveness. I felt completely accepted by him and I to him.
The day came when the projected was completed, I was onto another one. The last day I went into his office and wanted to express my gratitude. Of course he wasn't there, he is overseeing two projects at the same time...I walked away that show feeling renewed hope. That this "TF" , again unbeknownst to me at that time, was a beacon...Finally...there is someone out there that does get me and accepts me. I was sad that I didn't take the opportunity sooner and left with an important lesson.
"Don't ever give up, Own who you are even if there will be those that don't like you, but there will be someone out there for me again. And when that happens, I won't allow my weirdness to stop me"
There was no connection or reason to reach out as it wasn't a practical tangible and socially acceptable to do so. We really didn't build anything but having small fleeting moments. So I go on and do my life...
Meanwhile, Throughout this experience I've had vivid dreams. 2021 our first meeting and upon knowing he is in a relationship with his karmic. I had a dream where we were at a MALL and he was following me (just like he was in real life...investigating me...putting me on ice for later) I look back at him and suddenly , the concrete structures of the mall slowly , like soft clouds, moved to block us.
2022 I had a dream where I was at this apartment complex for a party, I get back into a vehicle to then someone saying "you need to go back and get your stuff because there is no going back". I go back to the apartment knock on the door and to my surprise a skinny woman with long black hair and a blurred face opens the door. MY TF is in the BG and so very distinct. Suddenly, I'm transported into a 1940's traditional American home...where the interiors were wood crafted beams, crown moldings, leather arm chairs. bartenders with bow tie and vest. The same woman asks me " are you here to party?! let me know you around!" she guides me everywhere then MY TF appears and was so vivid. I left the party through a window and down a vine lattice.
2023 Now all this time in this story, we didn't talk with one another. It was a short period and we moved on. I'm doing my own projects and then unemployed, struggling to find work. While, on his end ..his karmic and him broke up in may. In which, I had another dream.
We were just talking about astrophotography, it was now just him and I. In a white room with aluminum framed windows and a glass desk. He then asked me "so how's your career going?" then I woke up feeling unworthy of him. That he is right...how can I be in a relationship if my own life isn't together?
Toward the end of 2023, I accidentally butt dialed him. A few days later, he texts me back "did I get a miss call from you? :-)" I knew he was interested to get to know me. But he was traveling around...at this point I wasn't aware he broke up with his gf...and that he was going through so much. I would want to talk on the phone vs text but felt he was very avoidant of me. Essentially, one day he said he was available to talk on a sunday. I took a break from work to call him. He never answered nor did he even get back in touch with me. I figured oh well move on.
2024 4 weeks ago .I'm reactivating my facebook and to see he added me as a friend and we started chatting again briefly on messenger. During the messages, he would try to bait me to go to someones memorial. It seemed he wanted to see me but went a round about way of doing so. I told him I wouldn't want to go as its dishonest. I didn't know here at all. We talked about our ideas on opportunity, what it means to live . I was only on there to find a job and to reconnect with some contacts. Since it wasn't useful, I closed it. He then hunted me down outside facebook "I tried messenging you on fb and it says i'm blocked" to which I replied "I deactivated as ALL those annoying strangers and ads". Since then we have been chatting on text. BUT hes very controlling ...I can sense him fighting being transparent. We just shooting the shit and I told him I was baking cookies to which I come to discover he has serious control issues with sweets. Now the other bait, He wanted me to bake him something and that we could meet up to just talk.
We finally reunite 3 weeks ago...it was an interesting deep night. Ranging from philosophy, values, beliefs on parenting, he ranted though on and on about all his women friends and his ex. I knew then...that tonight isn't for us ...its for him. I felt more like a resource because of what he didn't want to talk about "us" and how detailed he got with his ex. Saying things like "and she was beautiful" ..."I feel regret....I don't trust anyone with who doesn't have regret" to suddenly cutting him off here and there to change it around. Everything combined I thought he was regretting his break up. He was quite rude when I expressed "Since you are sharing yours, I should share you mine" after all he wanted to get to know my journey. But the night was anything but his. He says "not necessarily" and to which I respond "but these stories are for your healing and lesson" NOW i got his attention.
Time again froze, It seemed like we just sat down but its now been 4 hours. He shared his stories of not only exes now, how his father died when he was 16 and my was abuse and homelessness etc. We even cried during these reflective sharing's. Now the place is about to close, I still wanted more time with him. We went over to a diner across the street. As we sit, there is so many details I'm trying to leave out that shows his protection of me. From a waiter being passive aggressive that we aren't ordering anything. Now we are into our conversations, he changes his word regret to remorse...and connecting it to his present moment of deciding new priorities/ ideas. We go on and on to eventually having some light moments of talking about the countries flags decor and trying to guess what country is what flag. Suddenly, I get some intuition that we should check on our cars...we leave and again time froze its now been 4 hours but it felt like we just sat down. Our cars ended up being booted lol as if the universe is saying keep sticking to each other. As we walk across, he notices this crazy furry item , I knew he was trying to prevent me from being scared. AND I knew that its time for some over the top reaction. I wanted to crack a smile on him. " I freeze and scream out wtf is that?! and stuttering his name loudly" He laughs so hard. As we get to the car...he says "how did you know. You called it" He pays for my boot. we sit under the cloudy night sky by some bistro outdoor seating waiting .
The next morning, I realized I am him. I literally absorbed all his states and emotions. He texted me "good morning these cookies are delicious" to which i sent him a meme of lama "my last brain cell working". He responds "I hope I wasn't too intense last night" and for some reason that text, given i was using his drives/emotions from the previous night" and suddenly felt he was so selfish. I told him that I can't keep being a resource to someone, that I came out under the impression that it was mutual and that I am not capable of feeling the burden of every woman's mistakes. That I sincerely wish him the best..even if its not with me.
He replies "you are special" "i'm just coming out of my own" to which I said "yep..that's understandable"
Weeks go by now its present time.
I am seriously going through the ups and downs of my growth, complete turmoil, questioning my decisions. Should I have sent that text? I told myself to not allow this opportunity to go to waste when I left the project in 2021. I'm crying, I start realizing more and more how insecure I am. Why is his actions determination of my worth? rejection and abandonment issues arise. Now I decided to follow my angel numbers and decided to face my challenges LIVE. Instead of avoiding and ignoring these issues, I decided to just message him ...my vulnerability and thoughts about us regardless what his reaction could be on his end. I kept going back and forth why he is deceptive during our date and why some questions disappeared into thin air. But I marched on anyway. Essentially, I said that we were meant to be in each others lives, regardless of outcome, or if we were to find love or not.
To my surprise, on his end, he made some changes. He was out of town taking care of his mother and I told him that if you're up for it, lets grab coffee to catch up. He replies "I'd really like that" this is the first time I think he attempted to be open with his feelings.
Last night, I had a dream I was in a MALL again...across from me, I See him barging in with a walk of conviction and went straight to the escalator. His face was grey and almost falling off. I texted him to see if he was okay and told him about the dream. He was very different this time around, he was receptive, he changed and started to act on my running away text. He started to ask me questions, how I am doing which fixes the initial issue of not being special and feeling used. How interesting we are meeting our growth goals at the same time. A mall represents changes/ new ideas/ values etc. How interesting we are constantly in a mall and how reflective that is in our reality.
We are hanging out this Saturday :-)
I can only hope we meet our challenges whenever that may be, romance would be nice, having a life together. But I'm just glad I'm in this experience...

I have an interesting girly sense of style. I am able to tone it down for professional settings but today I have an interview at a pediatric office and I was wondering if it might be more acceptable to wear something a little more girly to show I'm well suited to work with kids, maybe a fun hair clip? Shoes with bows on them?
I also have dressed as the tooth fairy for community events for kids, should I bring a photo?

It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

(this will be long but detailed like a romance novel)
For most of my life, I was faced with obstacles and hardships. But always believed in my capacity to change. Without this belief, I wouldn't be here now telling you all my story...and the ultimate reunion with him...I wonder would it be better if were to tell you all my story of us individually ? Though my hunch is its best to get straight to it. what I'm hoping for is that anyone here was wondering if their TF is their real TF or how others journey is going. I think by being pedantically transparent can be left for others to interpret. Personally, the common themes of my TF experience so far is...its never been a feeling of having to be together as a goal but having true company...true growth. Its a pure love for another human. We are learning a great deal from one another and on heading the same trajectory. I'm leaving out my signs that we both are connected. I hope my story reflects the layers of duality.
In 2020, everything from the universe was telling me to slow down. I had sprained both my ankles and was out for much of the year and on top of that had to sit with all my decisions. Upon doing a life assessment, I found both my self love/worth and strength of convictions and the courage to navigate new decisions. Out with the old and completely in with the new. When an idea dies, it truly dies. I buried that year: the old parts of me, friendships, career, habits, yadda yadda.
2021 emerges, I'm working on the same Project and was arranging my pay rate with this , at this point unbeknownst to me, my TF. Our communication from the get go was easy and smooth. Though we also had obviously annoyances. He would control when I get information (getting in my way) which affected my jobs at some points but most part it was interesting. Upon meeting at a location for the first time (work related), We both had our face masks. As he enters ... I say his name and look at his eyes. There was a long silence and what seemed to be an instant knowingness. At that moment, I was quite in disbelief as I haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. I wanted to know who I was in my entirety and to truly know what its like to be in a relationship with myself. This being said, I thought nothing of it and made a small fleeting note. "hmm?" He just kept staring at my eyes. I believe this is when we read "love at first sight" or "attraction at first sight" and completely recognition.
Each week he would try to talk with me, though I found he was a bit suspicious. I would be really outwardly weird, reactive by being surprised to indifferent. This would go on for weeks, he gave up and ignored me, then I realized I didn't need to be so cold. But its like, how am I in that current moment take all this "mystical" "magical" "fairytale" type connection ? Anyways...I started studying him, I found it was quite easy to know who he is. Everyone says "he's so calm" that he is. But I also sensed is anxieties, when he is trying to investigate me but covering up that he needs some work document, I simply, understand without fuss, what's really going on underneath the surface. I was sitting at a desk listening to someone and I quickly knew my TF was walking pass my office. As he is passing, time completely stops, i was bothered by him looking at him so I gave him an angry eye stare (with face mask) show down but suddenly my eyes soften and we are in trance. On our project, we had a 2 week break for the holidays...Upon return it is now 2022
2022: Upon return, he was indifferent to my eccentricities, I took the break to sit with myself as to how to approach him in the new year...I asked him how his break was....he looks down takes a deep sigh. And for the longest time...it seems he is reflecting and withholding. For some reason, I KNEW he was with a karmic. He didn't seem happy and was quite tired. He replies that it was very....and to which I expressed by cutting off mid-sentence "tiring and instead of rejuvenation" ....he goes "exactly" This right here is when I truly believed that this experience is special. At this point, I didn't really think of him as TF. In fact, I didn't really believe in this concept till now.
One day TF bumps into me by some stairs, It surprised me and as he is walking by he tells me simply "Its okay, I'm the same way"...I look back as he is walking up the stairs and we look into each others eyes. We go back to our busy work day. I felt so sad honestly, was less focused on him and more on how to get off the project and endure my condescending bosses. I also was quite touched by his integrity and compassion and forgiveness. I felt completely accepted by him and I to him.
The day came when the projected was completed, I was onto another one. The last day I went into his office and wanted to express my gratitude. Of course he wasn't there, he is overseeing two projects at the same time...I walked away that show feeling renewed hope. That this "TF" , again unbeknownst to me at that time, was a beacon...Finally...there is someone out there that does get me and accepts me. I was sad that I didn't take the opportunity sooner and left with an important lesson.
"Don't ever give up, Own who you are even if there will be those that don't like you, but there will be someone out there for me again. And when that happens, I won't allow my weirdness to stop me"
There was no connection or reason to reach out as it wasn't a practical tangible and socially acceptable to do so. We really didn't build anything but having small fleeting moments. So I go on and do my life...
Meanwhile, Throughout this experience I've had vivid dreams. 2021 our first meeting and upon knowing he is in a relationship with his karmic. I had a dream where we were at a MALL and he was following me (just like he was in real life...investigating me...putting me on ice for later) I look back at him and suddenly , the concrete structures of the mall slowly , like soft clouds, moved to block us.
2022 I had a dream where I was at this apartment complex for a party, I get back into a vehicle to then someone saying "you need to go back and get your stuff because there is no going back". I go back to the apartment knock on the door and to my surprise a skinny woman with long black hair and a blurred face opens the door. MY TF is in the BG and so very distinct. Suddenly, I'm transported into a 1940's traditional American home...where the interiors were wood crafted beams, crown moldings, leather arm chairs. bartenders with bow tie and vest. The same woman asks me " are you here to party?! let me know you around!" she guides me everywhere then MY TF appears and was so vivid. I left the party through a window and down a vine lattice.
2023 Now all this time in this story, we didn't talk with one another. It was a short period and we moved on. I'm doing my own projects and then unemployed, struggling to find work. While, on his end ..his karmic and him broke up in may. In which, I had another dream.
We were just talking about astrophotography, it was now just him and I. In a white room with aluminum framed windows and a glass desk. He then asked me "so how's your career going?" then I woke up feeling unworthy of him. That he is right...how can I be in a relationship if my own life isn't together?
Toward the end of 2023, I accidentally butt dialed him. A few days later, he texts me back "did I get a miss call from you? :-)" I knew he was interested to get to know me. But he was traveling around...at this point I wasn't aware he broke up with his gf...and that he was going through so much. I would want to talk on the phone vs text but felt he was very avoidant of me. Essentially, one day he said he was available to talk on a sunday. I took a break from work to call him. He never answered nor did he even get back in touch with me. I figured oh well move on.
2024 4 weeks ago .I'm reactivating my facebook and to see he added me as a friend and we started chatting again briefly on messenger. During the messages, he would try to bait me to go to someones memorial. It seemed he wanted to see me but went a round about way of doing so. I told him I wouldn't want to go as its dishonest. I didn't know here at all. We talked about our ideas on opportunity, what it means to live . I was only on there to find a job and to reconnect with some contacts. Since it wasn't useful, I closed it. He then hunted me down outside facebook "I tried messenging you on fb and it says i'm blocked" to which I replied "I deactivated as ALL those annoying strangers and ads". Since then we have been chatting on text. BUT hes very controlling ...I can sense him fighting being transparent. We just shooting the shit and I told him I was baking cookies to which I come to discover he has serious control issues with sweets. Now the other bait, He wanted me to bake him something and that we could meet up to just talk.
We finally reunite 3 weeks ago...it was an interesting deep night. Ranging from philosophy, values, beliefs on parenting, he ranted though on and on about all his women friends and his ex. I knew then...that tonight isn't for us ...its for him. I felt more like a resource because of what he didn't want to talk about "us" and how detailed he got with his ex. Saying things like "and she was beautiful" ..."I feel regret....I don't trust anyone with who doesn't have regret" to suddenly cutting him off here and there to change it around. Everything combined I thought he was regretting his break up. He was quite rude when I expressed "Since you are sharing yours, I should share you mine" after all he wanted to get to know my journey. But the night was anything but his. He says "not necessarily" and to which I respond "but these stories are for your healing and lesson" NOW i got his attention.
Time again froze, It seemed like we just sat down but its now been 4 hours. He shared his stories of not only exes now, how his father died when he was 16 and my was abuse and homelessness etc. We even cried during these reflective sharing's. Now the place is about to close, I still wanted more time with him. We went over to a diner across the street. As we sit, there is so many details I'm trying to leave out that shows his protection of me. From a waiter being passive aggressive that we aren't ordering anything. Now we are into our conversations, he changes his word regret to remorse...and connecting it to his present moment of deciding new priorities/ ideas. We go on and on to eventually having some light moments of talking about the countries flags decor and trying to guess what country is what flag. Suddenly, I get some intuition that we should check on our cars...we leave and again time froze its now been 4 hours but it felt like we just sat down. Our cars ended up being booted lol as if the universe is saying keep sticking to each other. As we walk across, he notices this crazy furry item , I knew he was trying to prevent me from being scared. AND I knew that its time for some over the top reaction. I wanted to crack a smile on him. " I freeze and scream out wtf is that?! and stuttering his name loudly" He laughs so hard. As we get to the car...he says "how did you know. You called it" He pays for my boot. we sit under the cloudy night sky by some bistro outdoor seating waiting .
The next morning, I realized I am him. I literally absorbed all his states and emotions. He texted me "good morning these cookies are delicious" to which i sent him a meme of lama "my last brain cell working". He responds "I hope I wasn't too intense last night" and for some reason that text, given i was using his drives/emotions from the previous night" and suddenly felt he was so selfish. I told him that I can't keep being a resource to someone, that I came out under the impression that it was mutual and that I am not capable of feeling the burden of every woman's mistakes. That I sincerely wish him the best..even if its not with me.
He replies "you are special" "i'm just coming out of my own" to which I said "yep..that's understandable"
Weeks go by now its present time.
I am seriously going through the ups and downs of my growth, complete turmoil, questioning my decisions. Should I have sent that text? I told myself to not allow this opportunity to go to waste when I left the project in 2021. I'm crying, I start realizing more and more how insecure I am. Why is his actions determination of my worth? rejection and abandonment issues arise. Now I decided to follow my angel numbers and decided to face my challenges LIVE. Instead of avoiding and ignoring these issues, I decided to just message him ...my vulnerability and thoughts about us regardless what his reaction could be on his end. I kept going back and forth why he is deceptive during our date and why some questions disappeared into thin air. But I marched on anyway. Essentially, I said that we were meant to be in each others lives, regardless of outcome, or if we were to find love or not.
To my surprise, on his end, he made some changes. He was out of town taking care of his mother and I told him that if you're up for it, lets grab coffee to catch up. He replies "I'd really like that" this is the first time I think he attempted to be open with his feelings.
Last night, I had a dream I was in a MALL again...across from me, I See him barging in with a walk of conviction and went straight to the escalator. His face was grey and almost falling off. I texted him to see if he was okay and told him about the dream. He was very different this time around, he was receptive, he changed and started to act on my running away text. He started to ask me questions, how I am doing which fixes the initial issue of not being special and feeling used. How interesting we are meeting our growth goals at the same time. A mall represents changes/ new ideas/ values etc. How interesting we are constantly in a mall and how reflective that is in our reality.
We are hanging out this Saturday :-)
I can only hope we meet our challenges whenever that may be, romance would be nice, having a life together. But I'm just glad I'm in this experience...

I'm getting this warning: Your active refr handle count is currently 802150 which is dangerously close to the limit. Please check the Engine Fixes log for more details.
My mod list:
"0000","Creation Club: ccbgssse034-mntuni"
"0001","Unmanaged: _ResourcePack"
"0002","DLC: HearthFires"
"0003","DLC: Dragonborn"
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"0006","Creation Club: ccvsvsse003-necroarts"
"0007","Creation Club: ccvsvsse002-pets"
"0008","Creation Club: ccvsvsse001-winter"
"0009","Creation Club: cctwbsse001-puzzledungeon"
"0010","Creation Club: ccrmssse001-necrohouse"
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"0012","Creation Club: ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode"
"0013","Creation Club: ccpewsse002-armsofchaos"
"0014","Creation Club: ccmtysse002-ve"
"0015","Creation Club: ccmtysse001-knightsofthenine"
"0016","Creation Club: cckrtsse001_altar"
"0017","Creation Club: ccfsvsse001-backpacks"
"0018","Creation Club: ccffbsse002-crossbowpack"
"0019","Creation Club: ccffbsse001-imperialdragon"
"0020","Creation Club: cceejsse005-cave"
"0021","Creation Club: cceejsse004-hall"
"0022","Creation Club: cceejsse003-hollow"
"0023","Creation Club: cceejsse002-tower"
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"0025","Creation Club: ccedhsse003-redguard"
"0026","Creation Club: ccedhsse002-splkntset"
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"0028","Creation Club: cccbhsse001-gaunt"
"0029","Creation Club: ccbgssse069-contest"
"0030","Creation Club: ccbgssse068-bloodfall"
"0031","Creation Club: ccbgssse067-daedinv"
"0032","Creation Club: ccbgssse066-staves"
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"0035","Creation Club: ccbgssse062-ba_dwarvenmail"
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"0055","Creation Club: ccbgssse035-petnhound"
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"0076","Creation Club: ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary"
"0077","Interesting NPCs SE (3DNPC)"
"0078","AI Overhaul SSE"
"0079","Address Library for SKSE Plugins"
"0080","UIExtensions"
"0081","SkyUI"
"0082","SSE Engine Fixes (skse64 plugin)"
"0083","The Ultimate Dodge Mod Attack Cancel"
"0084","The Ultimate Dodge Mod"
"0085","(DMC) The Ultimate Dodge Mod Reanimated - TUDMR"
"0086","Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch"
"0087","Project New Reign - Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine"
"0088","Open Animation Replacer"
"0089","Open Animation Replacer - IED Conditions"
"0090","dTry"
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"0092","Dynamic Dodge Animation"
"0093","The Ultimate Dodge Mod - Script Fixes"
"0094","Dynamic Activation Key"
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"0096","CBPC - Physics with Collisions"
"0097","CBBE 3BA"
"0098","The New Gentleman"
"0099","Snake Argonian Texture"
"0100","Backported Extended ESL Support"
"0101","Masculine Khajiit Textures (Grey Cat and Leopard) [Better Males]"
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"0108","XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended"
"0109","Faster HDT-SMP"
"0110","SMP-NPC crash fix"
"0111","HDT SMP beast race tail"
"0112","PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions"
"0113","powerofthree's Papyrus Extender"
"0114","Dylbills Papyrus Functions"
"0115","Papyrus Ini Manipulator"
"0116","Attack MCO-DXP"
"0117","Payload Interpreter"
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"0125","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Low Stance"
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"0128","Goetia Animations - Sneak Magic"
"0129","Goetia Animations - Enchanted Staves"
"0130","Goetia Animations - Conditional Shouts"
"0131","Conditional Armor Type Animations"
"0132","First Person Animation Teleport Bug Fix"
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"0137","Expressive Facial Animation -Female Edition-"
"0138","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Non Combat Locomotion"
"0139","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed MCO Moveset"
"0140","Vanargand Animations - Sword Dual Wield Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0141","Vanargand Animations - Sneak idle walk and run"
"0142","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Normal And Power Attacks"
"0143","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Thrust Attacks"
"0144","Animation Event Logger"
"0145","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Strike Attacks"
"0146","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Archery"
"0147","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Power Attacks"
"0148","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Non Combat Locomotion"
"0149","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Normal Attacks"
"0150","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Sneak Locomotion And Attacks"
"0151","Leviathan Animations II - Male Idle Walk And Run"
"0152","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Power And Sprint Attacks"
"0153","Leviathan Animations II - Sprint"
"0154","Vanargand Animations - Crossbows"
"0155","Vanargand Animations - Archery"
"0156","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Normal and Power Attacks"
"0157","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Strikes"
"0158","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Normal Attacks"
"0159","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Mid Stance"
"0160","Vanargand Animations - Mace Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0161","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Thrusts"
"0162","Strike Obstruction Systems - Combat Blocking Overhaul"
"0163","Shield Of Stamina - Blocking Redux"
"0164","dTry Plugin Updates"
"0165","True Directional Movement - Modernized Third Person Gameplay"
"0166","TrueHUD - HUD Additions"
"0167","True Directional Movement - Tail Animation Fix"
"0168","Jaxonz Positioner Converted"
"0169","Jaxonz MCM Kicker SE"
"0170","MCM Helper"
"0171","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL"
"0172","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL - MCM"
"0173","Better Jumping SE"
"0174","Skyrim's Paraglider"
"0175","Skyrim's Paraglider Anniversary Edition Update"
"0176","Precision"
"0177","Nemesis Creatures BEHAVIOUR compatibility"
"0178","Nemesis Creature Behaivour - WereWolf Addon"
"0179","Precision Creatures"
"0180","SSE Display Tweaks"
"0181","Better Third Person Selection - BTPS"
"0182","SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution"
"0183","SCAR AE Support"
"0184","IFrame Generator RE AE Support"
"0185","Behavior Data Injector"
"0186","Behavior Data Injector Universal Support"
"0187","powerofthree's Tweaks"
"0188","Spell Perk Item Distributor"
"0189","Improved Camera SE"
"0190","Immersive Interactions - Animated Actions"
"0191","Crash Logger SSE AE VR - PDB support"
"0192","ConsoleUtilSSE"
"0193","JContainers SE"
"0194","FSMPM - The FSMP MCM"
"0195","CBPC Equipment Physics"
"0196","Your mom (and dad)"
"0197","Achievements Mods Enabler"
"0198","Realistic Water Two SE"
"0199","Water in Wells - mesh-only animated wells"
"0200","Skyrim Caches"
"0201","Moonlight Tales Mini - Highly Compatible Werewolf and Werebear Addon"
"0202","Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim"
"0203","Underwear for BHUNP and HIMBO for Underwear.dll"
"0204","Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice"
"0205","Sound Record Distributor"
"0206","Storm Lightning for SSE and VR (Minty Lightning 2019)"
"0207","Thunder Sounds - WiZkiD Mix -"
"0208","Enhanced Blood Textures"
"0209","Audio Overhaul for Skyrim (4.1.2)"
"0210","A Tribute to the Kaua'i 'o'o- Immersive Easter Eggs (SE-AE version)"
"0211","NPC Dialogue Audio Enhancer"
"0212","Skyrim Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers"
"0213","Acoustic Space Improvement Fixes"
"0214","Reverb Interior Sounds Expansion"
"0215","Regional Sounds Expansion (SRD - Wilds Dungeons Towns Ambience Birds - Fixes)"
"0216","Precision Trail Replacer - Simple"
"0217","SkyHUD"
"0218","QuickLoot EE"
"0219","ConsolePlusPlus"
"0220","Wynter's Breezehome"
"0221","moreHUD Inventory Edition"
"0222","moreHUD SE"
"0223","More Informative Console"
"0224","SkyTEST - Realistic Animals and Predators SE"
"0225","More Immersive Activations (SkyRem Activations)"
"0226","EVG Animated Traversal"
"0227","Dungeons - Revisited"
"0228","SkyClimb"
"0229","Simpler Knock"
"0230","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic"
"0231","Interactive Wash Basins"
"0232","The Final Cataclysm - 2020"
"0233","EVG Animated Traversal - Patch Collection"
"0234","Purchaseable Store-Display-Items"
"0235","Convenient Dialogue UI - SE"
"0236","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic - Settings Loader"
"0237","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget"
"0238","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget - Settings Loader"
"0239","Static Mesh Improvement Mod"
"0240","Static Mesh improvement Mod - SMIM - Quality Addon"
"0241","Stones of Barenziah Quest Markers"
"0242","Take a Nap - Sleep on Chairs"
"0243","Horns Are Forever (Persistent Argonian Horns)"
"0244","Improved closefaced helmets"
"0245","Improved Closedfaced Helmets Patches"
"0246","Convenient Horses"
"0247","Take a Seat - New Sitting Animations for OAR or DAR"
"0248","Better Wedding Guests"
"0249","Falskaar"
"0250","Falskaar - Addons and Patches - Fast Travel fix"
"0251","Falskaar - Addons and Patches"
"0252","Moonpath to Elsweyr SSE"
"0253","Comprehensive Falskaar Fixes"
"0254","Beyond Skyrim - Assets"
"0255","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma"
"0256","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma inegration patch"
"0257","Fat Skyrim - A worldspace expansion - Standalone"
"0258","Darkend"
"0259","Beyond Reach"
"0260","Fluffworks (Fluffy Animals)"
"0263","Static Mesh Improvement Mod Improvement Mod"
"0265","Simple Wearable Lanterns"
"0266","The Scarlett - A Buildable Ship (SE)"
"0267","Wolf Follower - Dynamic pet including Hunger and Growth system - SE"
"0268","Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations"
"0269","Security Overhaul SKSE - Add-ons"
"0270","Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition"
"0271","Zoro's Katana's"
"0272","Berserk Judeau Armor"
"0273","Equip Enchantment Fix"
"0274","Scrambled Bugs"
"0275","Falling Gildergreen Petals - SE"
"0276","Gildergreen Regrown"
"0277","Keyword Item Distributor"
"0278","MergeMapper"
"0279","Dialogue Movement Enabler"
"0280","Dirt and Blood - Dynamic Visual Effects"
"0281","The Forgotten City"
"0282","Expanded Dragon Bridge"
"0283","Skyrim Borders Disabled - SSE-Edition"
"0284","Helgen Reborn"
"0285","Enhanced Solitude SSE"
"0286","Icy Mesh Remaster"
"0287","Settlements Expanded"
"0288","Stonecrest City Reborn SE"
"0289","Midwood Isle"
"0290","Siege at Icemoth"
"0291","Siege at Icemoth F&S patch"
"0292","Beyond Reach - Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0293","More Bandit Camps SSE"
"0294","Wyrmstooth"
"0295","All Thieves Guild Jobs Concurrently"
"0296","Bandit Economy"
"0297","Bandit Lines Expansion"
"0298","Clockwork (SSE)"
"0299","The Gray Cowl of Nocturnal SE"
"0300","Blackreach Railroad"
"0301","Brhuce Hammar Legacy - Special Edition"
"0302","Aethernautics- A Space Travel Mod"
"0303","The Lost Wonders of Mzark"
"0304","Fyr Manor Special Edition"
"0305","Dwemer Spectres Special Edition"
"0306","Ancient Dwemer Metal - My patches for SMIM Dawnguard Dragonborn by Xtudo"
"0307","The Wheels of Lull - Unwound Edition - Settings Loader"
"0308","The Wheels of Lull SE"
"0309","Moon and Star"
"0310","Catching Clockwork - Wheels of Lull Fishing Addon"
"0311","TrueHUD - Wheels of Lull Patch"
"0312","Khajiit have ears"
"0313","Toymania"
"0314","IA Merged - Vanilla version"
"0315","Garm the Husky Companion"
"0316","Fare Thee Well - Spouses and Children Give Blessings (TAGS - Family)"
"0317","Immersive World Encounters SE"
"0318","BERSERK"
"0319","Berserk - The Black Swordsman"
"0320","Berserker Armor - An Immersive Berserk-inspired Armor"
"0321","ADXP I MCO Berserker guts Animation"
"0322","Dragon Slayer - Berserk"
"0323","BDOR Berserker Conversions"
"0324","Berserker Armor - BDOR Berserk Model"
"0325","[immyneedscake] BDOR Berserk SSE (Cloth SMP)"
"0326","Berserker Armor - SkyTEST Patch"
"0327","Berserker Armor - Immersive World Encounters Patch"
"0328","Berserker Armor - Growl Patch"
"0329","Berserker Armor MAIN FILE"
"0330","Berserker Armor - Update"
"0331","Footprints"
"0332","Footprints - Alternative Design"
"0333","SPID for Footprints"
"0334","Ultimate fix - SPID for Footprints"
"0335","Boethiah for Good Guys"
"0336","Capital Windhelm Expansion"
"0337","Capital Windhelm Expansion ai"
"0338","Capital Windhelm Expansion ussep"
"0339","Capital Windhelm Expansion - Normal"
"0340","Warbird's Whiterun Metropolis"
"0341","WWM - USSEP Patch"
"0342","WWM - DVLaSS Underside Patch"
"0343","Whiterun Battle Brothers"
"0344","WWM - SIC Patch"
"0345","SIC SE - Add-Ons and Patches"
"0346","VIGILANT SEAE"
"0347","VIGILANT Voiced - English Addon"
"0348","TrueHUD - Vigilant Boss Bars ini"
"0349","Attack Dogs - A dog combat overhaul"
"0350","Attack Dogs - Bone Wolf CC Patch"
"0351","Attack Dogs - Skytest - SIC Patch"
"0352","Attack Dogs - Unofficial Skyrim Patch"
"0353","Attack Dogs - Vigilant Patch"
"0354","Attack Dogs - Wolf Follower Patch"
"0355","Attack Dogs - Winterhold Restored Patch"
"0356","Immersive College NPCs"
"0357","Immersive College of Winterhold"
"0358","Actor Limit Fix"
"0359","Better College Application"
"0360","Obscure's College of Winterhold"
"0361","Ultimate College of Winterhold"
"0362","Winterhold Restored"
"0363","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE"
"0364","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - Update and MCM"
"0365","ES - EVGAT Patch"
"0366","Solitude Docks Updated"
"0367","Expanded Towns and Cities"
"0368","Cities of the North - Falkreath"
"0369","The Great City Of Falkreath SSE Edition"
"0370","Cities of the North - Falkreath Patch Collection"
"0371","Lanterns Of Skyrim II"
"0372","Myrwatch - Editable Home Cells (Cell Bug Workaround)"
"0373","SkyTest Integration"
"0374","Cities of the North - Morthal"
"0375","Interesting NPCs (3DNPC) - Patches"
"0376","Mfg Fix"
"0377","Civil War Aftermath SE"
"0378","The Shire SE"
"0379","Undeath Remastered"
"0380","Carved Brink"
"0381","Skyrim Cut Content Restoration"
"0382","Extended Vanilla Menus"
"0383","Point The Way"
"0384","Jewelry Limiter - Another Multiple Rings and Amulets Mod"
"0385","Equipable Beast Tails - HDT SMP (Physics)"
"0386","BIGGERER Smp Argonian Tails"
"0387","ES AI Overhaul patch"
"0388","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE"
"0389","Folkstead and the Border of Hammerfell"
"0390","Circlet USSEP Fixes"
"0391","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE USSEP Circlet Fix"
"0392","Undeath - Classical Lichdom"
"0393","Undeath - XPMSSE - Strange Runes - Skeleton Patch"
"0394","Pirates Wield Cutlasses"
"0395","AI Overhaul SSE - Official Patch Hub"
"0396","Xelzaz - Custom Fully Voiced Argonian Telvanni Follower"
"0397","Beyond Skyrim - Wares of Tamriel SE"
"0398","Project AHO"
"0399","Project AHO - Skytest Patch (Fix Invisible Mudcrabs) - ESPFE"
"0400","Unofficial Project AHO - Bugfix and Improvement Patch"
"0401","College of Winterhold - Quest Expansion"
"0402","Better Dynamic Snow SE"
"0403","LeanWolf's Better-Shaped Weapons - All in One Installer"
"0404","Civil War Deserters"
"0405","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - SSE"
"0406","Cloaks of Skyrim SSE"
"0407","Artesian Cloaks of Skyrim"
"0408","FileAccess Interface for Skyrim SE Scripts - FISSES"
"0409","Depths of the Reach"
"0410","Skyrim Underground SSE"
"0411","SkyrimUnderground_Add-On"
"0412","Cities of the North - Dawnstar"
"0413","Save The Dark Brotherhood - Skyrim Special Edition"
"0414","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Dawnstar Sanctuary SEE"
"0415","House of Horrors - Quest Expansion"
"0416","Nilheim - Misc Quest Expansion"
"0417","The Only Cure - Quest Expansion"
"0418","The Only Cure Quest Expansion - Patches"
"0419","The Whispering Door - Quest Expansion"
"0420","The Heart of Dibella - Quest Expansion"
"0421","The Shire Unofficial Patch"
"0422","Unofficial Carved Brink Patch"
"0423","Go to bed"
"0424","Sleeping Expanded - Animations and NPC reactions"
"0425","Skyrim Sleeping Bags SE - Sleep Under Blankets"
"0426","Skyrim Reputation"
"0427","Skyrim Reputation Improved"
"0428","Skyrim Reputation - Fixed and Patched"
"0429","The Innocence Lost - Quest Expansion"
"0430","Thieves Guild Alternative Endings"
"0431","Destroy the Thieves Guild - Special Edition"
"0432","Skyrim Reputation Patches for Quest Expansions and Alternate Routes"
"0433","Dynamic Activation Key - MCM"
"0434","Dynamic Activation Key - Addons Collection"
"0435","Drengin's Blue Palace Terrace"
"0436","ES Blue Palace Terrace"
"0437","ES LoS II Patch"
"0438","BluePalaceTerrace-AI Overhaul-patch-SE"
"0439","Bruma and Other Patches for Convenient Horses"
"0440","Paarthurnax - Quest Expansion"
"0441","Scion - A Vampire Overhaul"
"0442","Save the Icerunner - Lights Out Alternate Routes"
"0443","Penitus Oculatus"
"0444","About Roggvir"
"0445","Defy the Gardener"
"0446","Serious Civil War Finale Sieges"
"0447","Supreme Fog for Morthal Region"
"0448","Base Object Swapper"
"0449","CC Bow of Shadows Lingering Invisibility Fix"
"0450","Riften Extension - Southwoods District"
"0451","Vanilla hair remake"
"0452","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Patches Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0453","EVGAT - Dynamic Climb-able Ladder Doors"
"0454","INIGO"
"0455","Inigo Whistle Key"
"0456","Inigo - Bloodchill Manor patch"
"0457","Inigo Riding Patch"
"0458","Midwood Isle - Beyond Skyrim Bruma patch fix"
"0459","Whose Quest is it Anyway NG"
"0460","Happy Little Trees"
"0461","Happy Little Shrubs"
"0462","Skyland Happy Little Trees Bark"
"0463","ES Happy Little Shrubs patch"
"0464","Skyland AIO"
"0465","Better Dynamic Ash SE"
"0466","Slightly More Revealing Vanilla Clothing - 3BA Bodyslide"
"0467","Moonpath to Elsweyr Navmesh Fix"
"0468","GKB Waves Reborn"
"0469","GKB Waves Reborn-Midwood Isle"
"0470","GKB Waves"
"0471","Use Those Blankets"
"0472","Become a Bard"
"0473","Bards Reborn Student of Song Become a Bard and Bards College Expansion"
"0474","Serana Dialogue Add-On"
"0475","SDA Patch Hub SE"
"0476","Skyrim Reputation - Scion A Vampire Overhaul Patch"
"0477","Trueblood Serana"
"0478","Dawnguard Don't Hunt Cured Vampires"
"0479","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points"
"0480","AI Overhaul - Various Patches"
"0481","COTN Morthal Patch Collection"
"0482","COTN Dawnstar Patch Collection"
"0483","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points Patches"
"0484","Quest Conflict Fixes - Get Aegisbane"
"0485","Quest Conflict Fixes SSE"
"0486","Berserker Armor - Quest Conflict Fixes Patch"
"0487","Shadow of Skyrim - Nemesis and Alternative Death System"
"0488","Improved Camera SE - INI Tweaks"
"0489","SmoothCam"
"0490","SmoothCam - Modern Camera Preset"
"0491","SmoothCam Vanilla Enhanced 2"
"0492","Combat Pathing Revolution - NG"
"0493","BeastHHBB - Khajiit and Argonian content - player character and NPC replacer"
"0494","Immersive Armors"
"0495","Immersive Armours - SSE CBBE 3BA BodySlide"
"0496","Skyrim Reputation - Sneak Tools Patch"
"0497","Sneak Tools SE Edition"
"0498","Lux"
"0499","Lux - Via"
"0500","Lux Orbis"
"0501","Lux (patch hub)"
"0502","Lux - Via (patch hub)"
"0503","Lux Orbis (patch hub)"
"0504","Unofficial Lux Patchhub"
"0505","Sweets and Such - Baking Expanded SE"
"0506","Bards Reborn Enchanced Solitude Patch"
"0507","Bards Reborn Student of Song Undeath Patch"
"0508","Bards Reborn Student of Song AI Overhaul and USSEP Patch"
"0509","Moon and Star - Undeath Remastered Patch"
"0510","Immersive Sounds - Compendium"
"0511","Audio Overhaul - Immersive Sounds Integration (AOS - ISC Compatibility Patch)"
"0512","Unofficial Moonpath to Elsweyr Patch"
"0513","Bards Reborn USSEP Patch"
"0514","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - Relationship Dialogue Overhaul Patch"
"0515","Cathedral Weathers and Seasons"
"0516","ENB Helper SE"
"0517","Particle Patch for ENB"
"0518","Obsidian Mountain Fogs"
"0519","Embers XD"
"0520","ENB Light"
"0521","Enhanced Volumetric Lighting and Shadows (EVLaS)"
"0522","Rudy ENB Cathedral Weathers ADDONS and REQUiRED Files"
"0523","Moons And Stars - Sky Overhaul SKSE"
"0524","Splashes Of Storms"
"0525","Rudy fix for Splashes of Storms and ENB"
"0526","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB"
"0527","Less Distracting Blowing Snow Effects for ENB Particle Patch"
"0528","Show Player In Menus"
"0529","CoMAP"
"0530","Infinity UI"
"0531","Compass Navigation Overhaul"
"0532","Dear Diary Dark Mode (warm text)"
"0533","Dear Diary Dark Mode - Compass Navigation Overhaul Patch"
"0534","Stress and Fear - A Dynamic Sanity System"
"0535","Flat World Map Framework"
"0536","Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers Paper Map for FWMF"
"0537","Apocrypha Paper Map for FWMF"
"0538","Beyond Reach Paper Map for FWMF"
"0539","Midwood Isle Paper Map for FWMF"
"0540","Strange Runes"
"0541","ElSopa - Potions Redone"
"0542","RUSTIC SOULGEMS - Special Edition"
"0543","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Soul Gems"
"0544","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Deathbells and Nirnroots"
"0545","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Torchbugs and Moths"
"0546","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Bthardamz"
"0547","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Chaurus Eggs and Sacs"
"0548","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Glowing Mushrooms"
"0549","Rudy - More dramatic Red Mountain Plume"
"0550","Patch for Rudy HQ Misc. and Expanded Towns and Cities ETaC"
"0551","Obscure's College of Winterhold - Rudy HQ Miscellaneous SE Patch"
"0552","Soul Cairn Paper Map for FWMF"
"0553","Skyrim Paper Map by Caro Tuts for FWMF"
"0554","Paper Coldharbour Map for VIGILANT (FWMF)"
"0555","Duncan's Paper Maps for FWMF"
"0556","Rudy HQ - Standing Stones SE"
"0557","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB Fix - Purple wind"
"0558","Use Or Take SKSE"
"0559","Oblivion Interaction Icons"
"0560","The Wheels of Lull CBBE 3BA and HIMBO Patch"
"0561","TrueHUD - HUD Additions - Gray Cowl of Nocturnal Boss Ini Tweaks"
"0562","Immersive Armors Patch"
"0563","Prisoner cart fix SMIM"
"0564","Sunder and Wraithguard - Editable Vault Cell (Cell Bug Workaround)"

Hi there everyone, I kind of curious, I have been writing a crossover fanfic in the style of Super Robot Wars storylines. One of the Franchises I want to add is RWBY, however, I never really got into the series until playing Blazblue Cross Tag Battle and during his time I started read up on the series on various wiki pages.
So, if I'm wrong on any details or something does seem to match the character's personalities, please tell me!
In this point of the fanfic, it took place after my idea of an ending to the series, so here goes nothing!
The white haired huntress explained why she feels this is the case, telling them the story of her younger brother and his road for redemption.
For the longest of times, Whitley had nothing but hatred for his older sisters and saw the hunters and huntresses as below him, mocking Weiss every moment he had while she was under house arrest. Escaping from this sham of a home, she swore the boy and their father were nothing but monsters and for their actions were things that she never could forgive. That is until it was after the arrest of their father and their manor being invaded by Grimms that cracks were showing in his facade of pettiness.
"During that fight, Whitley wanted nothing but to run off, until he saw our mother fighting against the Grimm before falling from the underuse of her Semblance when he knew he needed to help."
After saving Willow and learning from their mother that Whitley was as much of a victim as anyone else that the middle child chose to mend their damaged relationship. During the fall of their home Kingdom of Atlas, he continued to help by having all the SDC Saircrafts to save anyone and everyone to relocate the people to Vacuo. When the Team RWBY and Jaune return from Ever After, he became part of the attacking forces as a commander to help defeat Salem's forces.
In the final battle, He was present to witness Ruby Rose and Kairi sparing the now depowered and mortal Salem, who was told to simply live with reminders of her sins haunting her until the day she died, as this was her last life. "While we watch Salem leaving to parts unknown, I thought Whitley was going to say something foolish, but to my surprise, he only watched.
In the four weeks after Salem's defeat, Whitley began his new life but it was something to adjusted to as he worked a part time job and began to start classes in that first week The heir of whatever remained of the SDC let his hair grow out slightly, he may have been inspired by a picture of Jaune's appearance during his time in Mistral but still kept a very clean appearance.
It wasn't until a week ago that there were some Jacques' old associates from Vacuo wanted to give Whitley the position of CEO of a new company, one named Phoenix Ash.
"At first, I thought he just wanted to go back to his old ways of life when he agreed to the deal, Asked from me was to trust him about this..."
Out of the blue, The new CEO of the Phoenix Ash Group called for a Public Announcement. Weiss and Winter were watching on a monitor in an aircraft outside of the city. Fearing for the worst, that he would be making empty promises to make a postive public image, the boy spoke of ending the practices of abusing Fanuas workers. This was a lie that their father made to the press when he was alive, before the young CEO spoke of his new idea.
When questioned by the Press, Whitley told the world that he his idea was to start finding better sources than just Dust to rely on, so he would put his own Lien that he held on since childhood to fund this research. If this research was successful, then he would personally see to the closure of all Dust Mines under the Pheonix Ash banter but threaten that if any of the Fanuas workers were harmed during his time as CEO, that under his leadership that he personally see it that the abusers' paychecks would go to their victims and repeated offenders would be fired as quickly as possible. The two sisters begin to noticed that four of The Board Members who hired him were in shaking in their boots.
"Young Sir, please think of the words you speak..." one of Jacques' remaining associates on the board begged to hopefully conviced the boy to reconsider these ideas
"I am fully aware of the words coming from my mouth as much as you were aware of letting my father's actions slide so you can make more Lien. So, to be quite blunt, SHUT IT OR FIND NEW JOBS!" This wasn't like the boy they once knew while Jacques was thriving, he was a new Whitley Schnee that wouldn't be swayed by the idea of making Lien in dishonest ways and wouldn't allow anyone under his leadership to harm the Faunus workers.
"DAMNED BLEEDING HEART BRAT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE JACQUES, THE REAL HEIR OF THE NAME OF SCHNEE!"
The oldest board member, a muscular bald man of over fourty who was still extremely loyal to the deceased CEO of SDC, charged at the youth with a knife! The youngest of the Schnee clan knew there would be risks, but didn't have any fighting experience to counter this attack.
"WHITLEY!" Weiss cried out as she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the would be killer's attempt of assassination, however, a certain green eyed Faunus, who's loyalites to Robyn Hill last to this day, arrived in enough time to stopped the youth's would be killer.
"You really think that Fiona Thyme would let you kill your new boss? As IF!"
Within a mere set of seconds, the man of three hundred and something pounds was on the ground, each insult that was aimed at the girl was countered with his former boss nodding for the girl to wack the creep across his bald head. This last for a couple of minutes until the police to take his sorry ass to jail as well as charging the Faunus with a minor crime. The girl knew that there would no way to escape but chose not to surrender as she put her hands behind her head much to the cheers of some in the crowd.
However, In those five seconds before the cuffs closed on her hands, The CEO jumped off of the platform and stood in between the messy haired Faunus girl and the arresting officer, slapping the cuff out of the man's hands to the shock of the world. When asked to step aside, the boy's answer to this was something everyone in Remnant, who were either in the crowd or watched from afar from their scrolls, never expected.
"You're really asking me to step aside, so you could take away a war hero's future? I choose to refuse for we all know these charges against her are nothing but baseless. She fought on the side of various heroes! Heroes ] from the Battle of Beacon, like the Teams: RWBY, JNPR, SSSN, FNKI, ABRN and CFVY, the heroes without teams like Lady Kairi, Qrow Branwen, and Taiyang Xiao Long, Heroes like Ilia Amitola and the Belladonna clan who were once White Fang members but left before the assassination of Sienna Khan and return to fight to stop the once peaceful group when they saw what it became under the command of Adam Taurus, heroes like the remaining members of the Ace Operatives, who fought their own feelings of sadness when they lost Clover Ebi and came together after they realized James Ironwood was in the wrong, after the man fell into despair because of how the upper class saw the innocent victims in Remnant and used Atlas as a ram to prevent the Grimm from gaining another advantage point. These groups of heroic and wonderful people came together to save the world from the forces of Salem, so why can't we, the civilains they protected, do the same?!"
There were some mutters from the civilians that watch on the ground level before one of the rich members of the crowd, a man named Harry Marigold, brought up that Weiss may have saved the world but of her crime of summoning the Grimm at the charity event at Schnee Manor should be held accountable before the youth counter with.
"The crime that night was one in justified anger when you, Harry Marigold, who ignored her sadness and only wanted my sister's attention for bragging rights, that damnable trophy wife, her weak minded shell of a husband, the former CEO of the SDC, myself and many others of the Upper Class chose to cruely mocked the recently deceased of Vale and proudly laughing about the deaths of the many innocents of the fallen Kingdom who had nothing to do with the fighting. fates we claimed that civilains deserved!? If anything, she didn't summoned the Grimm to harm anyone but wanted us demons to understand that life is not to be taken as a joke or anything to not to be take lightly. The real crime that night was that the Grimm didn't caused more damages to Schnee manor and not having the monster hurt any of us because of our cruelity to the dead! But because the CEO of SDC cared for nothing but his public image, when she confronted that scumbag for our actions and for using her as a prize toy for everyone to see, his only reaction was to slapped my sister across her face and denied her Birthright!
This made the rich members of the crowd uneasy, as they knew that they were being put in their places. They wanted the youth to be silenced but he continued, angry and filled with something that he should've had a long time ago, a frightful sense of Justice.
"For too damn long, I was blinded by my family's name, not knowing it was nothing but an evil curse and if it wasn't for my sister's actions that night and the night her team and the remaining members of team JNPR saved the lives of my poor mother and the sorry shell of a person. I, too, would've remained under the very same spell of ignorance that the old fool relished in to keep us in line. So, for you to order me around, to use my sister justified attempt on the upper class to see her honorable view on life so who could silence my words, and to force this maiden, who has fought harder than anyone here because fearful paranoia bigots using unjust hatred of every Faunus to make her life a living torture device, for her to rot in a prison cell without a fair trial, just for saving my life? That command is UNFORGIVABLE!" The boy screamed loudly and in pure rage so everyone could hear his plea.
Fiona was in shock, she heard from various communities of the Faunus that the SDC and clan of Schnee were nothing but monsters, worse than any of Salem's Grimms. Even after meeting the huntresses of Team RWBY, she believed Weiss was the only one of the family who wanted to set things right in the world.
Even through she hated the idea to keep an eye on the Schnee heir, even if it was a jobn from her trusted leader. His father and the fellow members of the Board in the SDC saw the Faunus and wanted nothing but for them to be trapped in cages without futures, But to see with her eyes, the very son made to follow in these footsteps of selfish desires, meaning every single word that left his mouth, these words that were filled with a justified desire to save the young girl from an unfair fate, was so unreal.
"If anything, it was the wicked ideas of greed that the deceased CEO held dear tt were one of the many factors that broke our world, Jacques Sc..." The boy stopped for less than a second before continuing in anger.
"....Actually no, I refuse to allow that bastard to my family's name any longer, even in death! Jacques Gélé was never a father, he was nothing but an unredeemable thief without a sense honor, who used dirty lies to trick my dying grandfather into his once humble life, the honorable man that should've had the right to lived long enough to prevent the future Gélé wanted, Nicholas Schnee!"
"Who used my recently deceased mother's, Willow Schnee, love and trust to steal a company he was never worthy to rule over from underneath her. When she learned of his deception and his lies in their sham of a relationship, the once loving and carring mother only means to escape from his wicked virus was to drink her sorrows away and seclude herself from the world!
"His sickness was something that their three children were not immuned to as he saw nothing from us but to be used as pawns so he could gain more power! It wasn't until we learned better ways to live by others, others who actually cared, that we actually became good people!"
"The first of us was to learn this lesson was The Soldier who proven herself time and time again, who enlisted in the Atlas military to get away from the sickness that Gélé took pleasure in, who leaders knocked the views of hatred for the Faunus and the usage of cheap tricks out of her, my oldest sister, Commander Winter Schnee!
"My second oldest sister, Huntress Weiss Schnee, who learn of the shame that her family name carried at her time in Beacon, who was forced to leave after the battle by Gélé for supposed safety only to be paraded around as a prize trophy daughter for his friends in the upper class, who felt the sting of venom when that man refused to accept her heroic heart, forcing her to escape his maddess so she could continued helping those who were suffering!"
"And then there's myself, Whitley Schnee, the boy who was so scared with the various changes to his home life that he chose to follow in that thief's footsteps, who once mocked the dead of Beacon along with the others in the Upper Class, who has never fought for anything and even in that last battle, was so powerless to prevent more tragedies for befall those he commanded to fight on his behalf! The boy who's heart is filled with so much regret because of his idiotic choices in life but is now filled a newly found sense of Justice, who only goal now is to find a cure for the poison, so he could, no! will make our world a better place than it was in the past!"
The crowd was stunned thar they couldn't help but to stay silent.
"Gélé has cause so much suffering to the Faunus and to many other communities. That suffering spread in the Kingdoms like wildfire. When my grandfather died, so did the fairness and honor that the Schnee name held on to....but not anymore! MY DREAM is to stop the suffering that Gélé relished in so he could live like a damn lazy king!
Whitley then put his hands behind his head and told the world.
"So if this girl goes to prison, so will I! All I asked of those listening is not to cheer no matter what the outcome is, not to cry for this foolish boy who has fought for nothing, but to simply think about his words and the weight they pull!" Whitley's blood was boiling as The puppet CEO's bight blue eyes widden to show everyone that his dream was one that the boy will work for through his pain.
After this decree was finished, everything was slient before the officer asked. "Would you die for that dream..?"
Whitley, answered with all seriousness. "If I die, then I would gladly die with a hundred stabs to my heart and soul to make damn sure that my dream becomes reality." The officer waved to another cop to bring in a second set of handcuffs, much to both cops dismay.
"Alright, I'm sorry. Whitley Schnee for disobeying a officer of the law, you have to come with us."
Whitley said not a word as the cuffs latched onto his hands. As if to respect the boy's wishes, There were no one in the crowd, maybe even in Remnant, cheering about the arrest of these two, even though the boy said he had nothing but hatred of those that surround Gélé mocking those that died in Beacon, none of the them wanted nor could cheer, for to celebrate this would be nothing but hallowed.
On route to the department to put the two in the holding cells until they could make bond, the two talked, mostly it was Whitley asking the girl a thousands questions of the culture of the Faunus, the life she lived before becoming a war hero and so on. The poor girl was shaking with overwhelmingness but snapped out of it when Whitley explained something to her.
"This is the second time you saved me from the door of death, thank you, Lady Thyme."
Fiona was slightly confused before slowly piecing together that in the final battle she rushed to the location of downed aircraft, where a gravely injured woman layed under some debris being protected by her white haired son with a mere wooded stick he found on the ground screaming. "GET AWAY! YOU GRIMMS!" before being knocked backwards and then being held by his throat.
"HEY FANG FACES, I'M MORE OF A CHALLENGE THAN THOSE TWO!" The Fanaus screamed while the Grimm let the boy go to blocked her attack.
"KID! TAKE YOUR MOM AND GET OUTTA HERE, I CAN'T HOLD THIS GUY OFF FOREVER!"The boy nodded as he grabbed his mother and ran off, not knowing that he would plan to thank the maiden the next time they meet.
"No freaking way, you're that boy?"
"Yeah...but I'm not proud to admit that I'm not one for fighting." Whitley smiled as this surprised the girl.
To think, the meek boy she saved that one time and the guy who wanted to help others despite his family's reputation were the same person? How would this day become more of a weird fever dream?
"Hey you two, I hate to burst this bubble but ready for a fight, there was another vehicle besides ours that was on their way to the department." A male's voice explained when they noticed a man in a grey cloak sitting in the darkest corner of the vehicle.
"Before you asked, I've been here for the entire trip."
"Why is that important?" The only woman of the three thought while the Schnee youth figured it out.
"That ghoul of a Board Member?"
"'Faid so, he was taken in sometime before your speech and there are only two holding cells in the department, one for men and the other for women." The man explained.
"I could use my semblance to hold him in a..." Fiona was stopped when the mystery man continued.
"...And to prevent any escapes, the cells and those cuffs on your hands are laced with anti-semblance tech."
Fiona screamed. "OH CRAP!"
Whitley was shaken but kept cool as he thought. "I guess as this is a smaller scale city, I should've figured as much."
"Are you actually prepared to die for your ideas?" The man asked the boy, but his answer was simple.
"I'm not planning to back down now, to betray those words I spoke earlier, would be a wicked sin."
Meanwhile in an aircraft a little ways off. Both Weiss and Winter were dumbfounded by their brother's speech and actions. "He has changed so much since weeks ago." The middle child thought before Winter demanded the pilot to land that at the port nearest to the city.
Yang, Kairi, Jaune, Ruby, and Blake were on the aircraft but was confused by the sudden change of directions, before the commander explained. "The Board member that tried to killed our brother was sent to the holding cell in the department before Whitley's speech."
"OH CRAP!" Ruby and Weiss screamed as they thought in dismay that the boy was going to be in an one sided fight against a heavier opponent.
"Please hold on for a bit longer, Younger Brother..." Winter quietly whispered as the Aircraft was going as fast as possible to their destination.
Upon arriving and being settle in the two holding cells, it was when the guards left the redeemer was being used as a punching bag for the man's humiliation.
"DAMN BRATTY ASSED PUNK!"
"UGHHH!" Whitley groaned, being punched for a hour, his clothing became ragged and bloody.
"LEAVE WHITLEY ALONE!" Fiona cried out at the tallest in the men's holding cell, she was in the womens' holding cell that was across the room, luckly for her, she was alone in the women's side but not for Whitley, making things worse is that the guards were sent out on an emergency call, as their thinning numbers were sent out because of a few bomb threats elsewhere in the city.
"SHUT IT, SHEEPIE! I GOING KEEP BEATING THIS BRAT UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS HIS PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE!"
"..." The man in the hood remained quiet as he watched this uneven fight. "You should stay down..."
"...As if I would..." The Schnee boy rose back to his feet through he knew nothing of throwing punches he refused to surrender just to spite the former Board Member of Phoenix Ash.
"HEH, for a skinny brat, you're stubborn, be a good little boy and admit that you're nothing but a puppet then I'll quit your rightly deserved beatings!"
Whitley regained his balance before flipping a bird claiming. "You...really...think this..puppet would let some smug ass with no respect for anyone but those in the Upper Class to order me around? SCREW....YOU!" The boy yelled spiting blood onto the man's ghoulish face to annoy the monster in human flesh.
"...WHY YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!" The man was even more enraged now, as he punched the stomach of the younger male causing the boy fall onto the cold floor.
Fiona was horrified as she witness the former spoiled prince rose back to his feet.
"Still standing boy?"
The youth was still standing to a point, until the man pulled a dirty shiv he found in the holding cell while waiting for this very moment. The two youths' eyes widden when they saw the makeshift weapon of sharpen hard plastic.
"...A weapon!?" Fiona cried out in dismay.
"Some poor sap must have made this sometime ago, makes me wonder where he could be now, anywho while I am slicing into your flesh, Whitley, I'm going tell what I thought of those pretty little ideas of yours."
The Faunus was in a state of fear for the young puppet CEO as the shiv user quickly sliced into the white haired youth's shoulder, with this the first time being cut, Whitley scream in pain.
"AHHHHGNN!"
"FIRST, YOU WANT TO FREE THE ANIMALS FROM OUR CAGES, THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS TO A FUTURE IN OUR SOCIETY!
The next was a stab on his left upper leg, luckly not hitting anything vitals as makeshift blade of sharp hard plastic was pulled out and blood dripped onto the flooring The boy's screams of pain echoing through the empty department.
"NEXT, WE CAN'T MAKE ANY LIEN IF BLEEDING HEARTS, LIKE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME, ARE IN CHARGE OF THINGS!"
The attacker then sliced the right side of Whitley's face leaving a scar under his eye.
"THE FACE OF THE BOY WITH A NAME THAT NOWS MEANS NOTHING TOTHE WORLD, USING TRUTHS TO PISS ON THE LEGACY THAT JACQUES BUILT, JUST SO HIS SON COULD REBUILD THE HONOR THAT IT HELD WHEN THAT WINDBAG WAS STILL KICKING! WHAT FREAKIN DRIVEL!"
then a slash across his chest.
"THAT BLEEDING HEART OF YOURS WANTING REDEMPTION SO HE COULD HAVE SOME ATTENTION BUT GUESS WHAT THERE'S NO SUCH THING IN THE BUSINESS WORLD OR IN THE REMAINING KINGDOMS OF REMNANT AS REDEMPTION!"
Then the right hand of the boy, the one Whitley pull in front of his body in an poor attempt to grabbed the makeshift Shiv.
"THESE HANDS OF A SOFT SPOILED LITTLE BOY WHO, EVEN IN THE LAST BATTLE AGAINST THE GRIMM FORCES, NEVER THREW A PUNCH OR SLAP ANYONE, ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE THE WORLD, ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN THAT BATTLE WERE ORDERING SOLDIERS TO FIGHT FOR YOU, SOLDIERS WHO SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!"
Finishing this rant with a punch to the gut, and mocking his braverly. "TELL ME THIS, BOY? WHEN THIS SPINE OF YOURS GREW, DID YOUR STUPIDITY DOUBLED, BECAUSE COMPARED TO YOUR DAD, YOU'RE SUCH AN DOLT TO BELIEVE YOUR OWN CRAP!"
"WHITLEY! STOP, YOU'RE KILLING HIM!" Fiona screamed as the man got on top of the boy's body and punch the white haired youth's face twice before the monster yelled at the girl.
"I SAID SHUT IT SHEEP! YOU MAYBE A WAR HERO THAT I CAN'T PUT MY HANDS ON BUT YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH AS THE HOPES OF THIS BOY DIES ALONG WITH HIS BODY!"
Getting off of the beaten body of the Schnee, the man let Whitley try to get up before the boy fell on his stomach and the man grabbed the white hairs of his his head and pulled his face up, so the redeemer would look into Fiona's green eyes for a last time, one filled with tears.
"ACTUALLY, IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE OF HER STATUS AS A WAR HERO, THE SHEEP WILL GET OUT IN THE END OF THE DAY AND BE ON HER WAY HOME, BUT YOU JUST HAD TO PLAY HERO AND FOR WHAT, WHITLEY SCHNEE?! FOR YOUR REMAINS TO BE MY PUNCHING BAG UNTIL I TRANSFER TO PRISON?....IT'S SO FREAKING SAD THAT I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!"
The redeemer, who's face full of buises, forgotten that this is the case for minor first time offenders but didn't care at all. Ever since Fiona saved his and his mother's lives that day, he would've happily be arrested and be beaten, time after time, so he could thank her. He wanted to smile, to show his savior that he was happy with this outcome, even this meant that his life ended today, but could barely move his face but the only could wheezingly chuckled as tears as swell from his eyes
Before the man could finished Whitley off, a small blackout happened as the doors of the cells opened, Fiona ran to the boy who risked his life just so he could to talk to her. "WHY?!" Fiona cried she held the youth in her arms. "WHY CAN'T MONSTERS LIKE YOU SEE THAT THIS A NEW WORLD, THAT WE CAN BECOME BETTER THAN WE ONCE WERE." The green eyed girl demanded anwers but the man just mocked to anwered the Fuanus.
"Do you think animals like you could understand that only the strong and the Upper Cass are the only ones who have the right to control Remnant. He could have been one of those in control and still have enough Lien to be someone important but he chose to ally with the lower class, and for little lamb he paying for it, dearly."
Putting the boy's head gently on the floor wiping the tears on her sleeve, to hopefully keep friend she made safe for a bit longer, she attempted to use Pocket Demisions to rid the world of this demon, only to realize in the middle of her attack, the power returned and because she ran to help the youth, that she was in the men's holding cell with the real beast.
"....No!" She wimpered.
"Looks like there's some of my fellow board members of Phoenix Ash are still on my side." He smiled wickening as he began to explain their plans. "You see, little Sheep, we figured the boy has a bleeding heart, so to get rid of those childish wishes to loosen our hold, we decided yesterday to make up a plan, the one that you had to prevent. So during that little speech of his, we made a second one on the fly." He continued as he put his hand on an earpiece. "...That one being the threats to distract the guards and that little blackout. Plus thanks to this little device, my semblance to increase my strength with every attack I give, still remains."
"This can't be...." She was scared, as this man that she could taken down a few mere hours ago, was telling the truth when every step he made while approaching Fiona made small cracks in the flooring.
"Damn it, We going need to cause another..." A voice explained though the earpiece before he turned off the equipment's sound option.
"Now, since you annoyed me so much, you're going be my replacement, lamb chops!" The upsuper yelled in bliss as he pulled his fist to punch her small body. She dodged the attack but his second punch connected and sent her flying into the force field door.
"AUHHGGG!" She cried out, recoiling in the pain from her back before noticing the man was coming for her, managing to get up but unable to dodge it completely in this cramped arena. She felt the punch connected with her left arm, braking the bones in the limb, Then a kick to her gut. Knocking her a few inches near Whitley's body.
"....No...."
The youngest of the Schnee clan could only watch in despair through one eye, the two were being broken by a scummy excuse of a human, and the young redeemer of his name could do nothing but watched as his attempt to prove to the world his words were real go down in flames.
"...Leave...her...alone..." These words spit out ignoring the pain as much as he could while rising back to his feet and limping to get in between the Faunus woman and her attacker.
"So, the boy still has some fighting spirit...The boy that has never fought for anything in his life, I am certain that you're doing this for everyone's attention."
The man was right on a few things, Whitley was never a fighter or some ground troop, and it may have been that he wanted attention when he first started to go down this road but Winter quickly knocked that idea out of his head, but the man is wrong on others, for Whitley realize that all he wanted to do in life is to help in anyway, even he'll be happy as a sideliner act to the main heroes.
But one can't always stay in that role and hoped to change the world, for a long time he stood by as a witness to to his father's crimes, for longer his thoughts of heroism being dismissed by that bogus excuse of a father and as far as he remembered, Whitley had others fight for him. But no more!
"In this world, money and power pull the strings, and yet you choose death for a flithy animal? How more times are you going to PISS M-!" The man was interrupted while talking by, to the surprise of all, the white haired boy headbutting his taller foe, knocking the man onto his ass!
"...WHAT!?" The man screamed in horror as he started to bleed from his now broken nose, this was the first time the business man has ever seen his own blood.
"...I've...told...the world...I...would die for my dream....even if I die today....I'll be happy to die...hundred times over again..." The boy's body was mostly broken, each word he spoke caused more pain than his body could stand but the young man still had one part of his body to fight with, his hard head!
The next thing they all knew, Whitley continued headbutting his enemy, causing the man to gain a reality check, his ability were increasing his attacks but at a certain cost, The sole major weak point on his body, the one that held the brain to think of ways to screwed others over, the one with the eyes that saw everyone else as beneath him and the one with the mouth with a booming voice he used to make threats and promises to ruin his foes, his face weaken over time with every punch or kick he gave to the two.
"NONONONONO!" The man screamed with a bloodied and bruised face, before feeling the same despair he installed into his two victims just mere minutes ago. In a desperate attempt to stop these attacks, he grabbed the man in the cloak as a hostage, with the shiv he used on the boy still in his possession.
"You-ou wouldn't w-wan...me to stab some r-random person that had nuthing to do with this, uh?!" These ragged words were like the man himself, desperate and scummy, but was enough to stop the boy from getting closer.
The foe laughed thinking he has the upper hand. "I admired your old man's talent in making a profit, but he was just like you to a certain point, he was no killer, so now I advise we wait until they let us out or I'll be plunging..."
"Tsk...This old fart really been pissing me off since we got here!"
The cloaked man yelled as he stepped on the foot of his captor along with a gunshot ringing though the air. "W-WHAT!?" The man screamed in pain as he released his hold to grabbed his now bleeding foot. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" The larger man screamed before realizing why his leg strength wasn't up to snuff. While being headbutted by his Whitley, the earpiece fell out and was behind his two victims!
"No way this is happening...." He groaned in pain before the cloaked male took off his hood, just to make things worse for the would be assassin.
"...and here I thought I would have a peaceful life in prison..." The man sighed as he revealed himself to be a fomer ally of Salem, one who wanted nothing more but to rot in prisons for the remaining of his life.
"M-Mercury B-B-Black, why is a war criminal here?!" The man screamed, fearing for his life even more than before.
"I was supposed to transfer into the next city, mostly for some good behavior BS..." Mercury turned his attention to the white haired boy.
"Hey kid, you're the brother to that girl Weiss, right?"
"....." Whitley wanted to say something but really couldn't, with those last few headbutts, if he tried to speak now, he will surely faint.
"Man, the geezer really did a number on you, huh?" Mercury asked before = one of the guards and Whitley's sisters ran in.
"Holy...CRAP! WHITLEY!!"
"Why is our brother and Miss Thyme in the same cell as these two?!" Winter demanded answers before Mercury explained for panicing guard while pulling the earpiece from the ground.
"Whitley was being used by lord lard ass as a punching bag until few people from Pheonix Ash caused a short blackout, the girl ran in to stopped the beatings but was attacked as well until your little bro figuring out the buzzard's weakness by headbutting the man in his freakin' face. After that, The creep tried to use me as levelage but yeah, you can see how that worked out."
"DAMNED BRATS...." The man groaned as the two Schnee women got Whitley and Fiona out of this cell but froze in fear when he saw Winter staring down at the man.
"I figured that your group would pulled something like this when Whitley told me of the CEO position, so I looked into yours and the rest of the board's backgrounds...It was just as Black said, You and your three friends in the board of eight have more than just attempted assassination to worry about now."
This decree was worrying enough before Mercury Black turned his attention back to the older man."I guess I'm going to have a kicking dummy for a roommate now!"
"Please have mercy!" The man turned deathly pale before Fiona yelled.
"Like the mercy you shown to me and Whitley because he called out your sorry butt, I would think not!"
Weiss was next to insult the man for his behavior. "...If anything you deserve nothing but a fate in a cage, like the various futures you took away!"
"Looks like you're going to rot in a cell for the rest of your sad existence." Winter finished before the guards were told by the military commander to take her younger brother out of the room and to take his would be assassin to the other cell.
Before leaving, Winter asked the former ally of Salem.
"Mercury Black...Your sentence for your war crimes have been over with for a couple of months now, yet, you still choose to remain in prison, may I ask why?"
"Since Cinder died in the fight against our former partner and Salem's redemption attempt, I really don't have much else left. Besides it's like I've said during that battle with the hammerhead and her pretty boy lover, I have been forced to fight since I was born by a drunk abusive excuse of a dad, so even if I could be let back into society, I don't think I could be happy."
"You could've joined the military..." The eldest member of the Schnee replied before the younger male countered
"Yeah, but I hate following and giving orders, besides you've seen what this old bastard done to your brother, creeps like him and worse are everywhere in prison. So as long as I can beat them senseless, I'm freaking happy to serve more time for each brawl I get my ass into."
This silenced Winter for a couple of seconds before asking for two simple demands. "Just tell Em that I'm okay with how things ended between us, and tell her just to be happy with her new life, if she can do that, then that would give me some sort of peace."
A couple of hours later at the medical bay on the airship.
Kairi used the healing spell Curaga on both the boy and Fiona. "Thank you, Lady Kairi." Fiona bowed while still having her arm in a cast after Whitley opened his eyes, being healed.
"Hey, it's not a problem, but please, just call me Kairi for now on, okay, Fiona?"
"Ughh, what...Fiona..are you alright?" The redeemer asked his friend.
"Yes, but you took the blunt of the beating, please relax, Whitley." The Fanuas explained before the boy asked.
"Who payed for our bails? I doubt it was my sisters, our situation isn't as it once was."
At that moment, Weiss and Blake came in, the disowned heiress of the destroyed SDC was proud at the fact that her former enemy of a brother fought for what's right, explaining. "It those three you poined out from that charity that payed for your and Fiona's bonds."
"Huh?!" Fiona was taken back in surprise by this before the middle child of the Schnee family theorized
"My guess is, either your speech or being outed as horrible people that made those three pay with their own Lien to post bond. I only wished we got there quicker but the airport was on the other side of the city."
"That's good but I can only hope that the others in the crowd took my words to heart and none of the people recording that day alter the video."
...We can check for video or audio interferances later on today but something tells me those who heard your speech that they're going be thinking about it for a long time." Blake's words made the youngest member of the Schnee children a little more eased.
"If only mother lived to see her son became someone to be proud of." Weiss thought to herself that day before their last mission in Remnant before her universe was wiped from existence.
In the Hangar of the doomed Wunder, Weiss had a thought of what could've been the futures of the new CEO of Pheonix Ash and his loyal bodyguard could have been if their universe just lasted a little bit longer.
"Hey, Bozos I'm about to take the Eva-unit 02 F off of the ship, before figuring out a plan to stop Misato."
"Alright.." Aqua answered as the red-head walked towards the console before seeing something strange.
"You guys were here for the last hour right?"
"Yeah?" Duo answered before Asuka added.
"And no one else came in or tried anything funny right?"
"We've been here the entire time, what's with the questions, Langley?" Viral countered.
"...There's two signals of heat in the cockpit...."
"Umm what?" Jaune exclaimed as the console showing the statistics of the bulky armored version of Unit 02, showing two bodies of heat in the entry plug.
Before anything else was said in the group. A young male's voice came through the console. "Umm Hello? Can someone get us out of this thing?"
No one but the Schnee huntress recognize the youth's voice. "Whitley!?"
"Sis, can you hear me?"
Asuka spoke next, "How long were you two in the Evangelion for?"
"I think for three hours, oh right, Fi wanted to asked if there's any males in the area."
"Fiona's in there too?!" Wiess inner thoughts were of panic that were made worse after Jaune's answer.
"Yeah, there's four guys here, why?" Jaunne asked before Fiona screamed in embrassament.
"PLEASE GO TO THE OTHER ROOM OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T GO OUT LIKE THIS!"
"Fi, please relax..."
"RELAX!? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS THING WITH CLOTHES ON!" The girl whined while crying from embarrassment.
"Umm, could anyone bring clothing for Miss Thyme."
Duo began to smirked before being dragged by Viral into the next room. "Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Duo Maxwell..."
"Killjoy!" Duo screamed as Jonathan conviced Jaune to followed.
"Sir Arc, we should leave as well, as it is knights' honor to..."
"Already way ahead of you, Mr. Joestar. We'll see you all later when we come up with that plan!"
As this was all happening, an snore echoed out from behind the crates. "Is someone sleeping over there?" Aqua asked while checking to see who it might be.
There, Chibodee Crocket, of all people was in deep slumber, much to everyone's surprise.
"...We should wake him up..." Asuka sighed while Weiss went looking for any of the female members of the crew for some clothing.
But to the surprise of the two, he just walked into the next room while sleeping the entire time. "That...worked out way to well..."

Discord: Lord of Rats
Reddit: Is_Me_
Name: Lyonel Grandison
Age: 24
Cultural Group: Stormlander
Appearance: Lyn is a strongly built man, standing at just over 6ft tall with a strong chest. He sports a mane of thick, golden blonde hair that falls just before his neck alongside a neatly trimmed and groomed beard. Lyonel is known to be a man of few smiles, almost always having a stern expression affixed to his face and a cold look in his eyes. He is rarely seen out of his armour, simple steel plate mail chased with gold, and is never seen without his cloak which presents his personal coat of arms. The sleeping lion of House Grandison encased in the fiery heart of R’hllor.
Traits: Strong
Skills: Swords (e), Andal Knight, Vanguard, Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Linguistics, Theology
Negative Traits: n/a
Starting Title(s): Lord of Grandview, the Red
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography
Lyonel was born to Lord Jon Grandison and Lady Aelinor Swann in the first year of Targaryen rule. Lyonel quickly proved himself to be a hot-tempered child, getting into constant fights with his younger brother Balon which they oft times settled through sparring. Through this, Lyonel quickly found his love for the sword and shield and his father, ever a man to encourage a martial inclination, made sure to fill his halls with stories of the Knight of Ninestars and the Winged Knight.
Lyonel’s relationship with his father began to strain when he was four-and-ten. Living in House Grandison’s seat of Grandview, at the mouth of the Dornish Marches, Lyn found himself surrounded by those who loathed their southern neighbours and resented the rising Bastard of Blackhaven for marrying one such woman. Feelings he himself simply couldn’t agree with. He had always been fascinated by the Dornish, their history, their culture, their wine and most of all their people. This tolerance clashed with his father on many occasions, a fact that only drove Lyonel towards the Dornish more.
Two years later, Lyonel joined a host led by Jon to venture south towards Blackhaven, a feigned show of support for the bastard that had taken root. There, in the depths of the Marches, Lyonel and Balon snuck away from camp and found themselves in the company of two commonfolk. Wyl and his older sister, Myriah. The sets of siblings became close companions, with Lyn and Myriah quickly becoming smitten with each other. A fact that they fought to keep hidden from his father for years. But nothing remains hidden forever.
The fury Jon Grandison flew into at his son bedding not only a common girl, but a Dornish common girl is often reserved for plays and works of art. He threatened to disinherit his son if he didn’t end the relationship immediately, something that Lyonel wasn’t willing to do. So Lyn thought that he must get his way in a manner even his father must respect, a duel. Lyonel thought it flawless. His father respected nothing if not martial prowess and surely the gods would support the case of true love fighting against cruel discrimination. So when Lyonel awoke in his bed with his head pounding, his father smug and his love missing, he found himself at the greatest loss of his life.
Lyonel was never a pious man. He rarely visited the Sept and found the lore of the Seven mind numbing but he had always believed, and always believed that they were good. With his faith and heart broken, he couldn’t stand to be around his father any longer and set off for the land where the Seven’s reach hadn’t taken root. Essos. Upon his twentieth nameday, Lyonel set off from a dock along the Sea of Dorne for the Free City of Pentos.
He quickly found shelter in the home of Ario Oratyrys, a merchant native to the city, who was more than eager to house Lyn and his companions, if only for the coin they brought in. On the third night after their arrival, Lyonel left in the dead of night and wandered the streets aimlessly. Eventually finding himself before the Great Temple of R’hllor and there he felt the heat of the fires and heard the crackling of the wood and found something that he had never found with the Seven. A calling. Lyonel returned the following morning a zealot, with a red priestess named Bellenora by his side.
And for the next few years of his life, Lyonel remained in Pentos studying the lore of his new god, and others besides, learning the languages of the Free Cities and an Essosi flair to his formidable sword skills. This peaceful life remained until one fateful morning, Lyonel received a letter from his brother detailing that their father had died and called him to return to Grandview to take the seat that was rightfully his. Filled with his newfound sense of duty and purpose, he set off for his ancestral home.
Timeline
1 AC: Birth of Lyonel Grandison
5 AC: Birth of Balon Grandison
10 AC: Lyonel discovers his love of swordplay and knightly culture
15 AC: Jon and Lyonel’s relationship begins to sour over the Dornish
17 AC: Jon leads party to Blackhaven, Lyonel meets Myriah and Wyl, Lyonel and Myriah begin their relationship
20AC: Jon discovers Myriah and Lyonel’s relationship, Lyonel duels Jon and loses, Myriah disappears (presumed dead)
21 AC: Lyonel departs with Wyl for Pentos, Lyonel meets Ario, Lyonel begins to follow R’hllor under the tutelage of Bellenora
24 AC: Jon dies, Lyonel returns from Pentos with his companions and becomes Lord of Grandview
25 AC: Present
Archetyped NPCs
Ser Balon Grandison (Master-at-Arms) {20}: Brother to Lyonel, wields a halberd which was a coming of age gift from Lyonel
Ser Wyl of Grandview (Marksman) {21}: Sister to Myriah and Lyonel’s closest companion, wields a bow and wears armour of boiled leather and crimson cloth
Bellenora (Scholar) {30}: Priestess of R’hllor who taught Lyonel about the faith, wears red silks and crimson ribbons in her black hair
Ser Harlan Staedmon (Tourney Knight) {19}: “Younger” of the Staedmon twins who served briefly under Lyonel’s father, wields a greatsword and is considered the more passionate of the two
Ser Harrold Staedmon (General) {19}: “Elder” of the Staedmon twins, favours an axe and shield but often works with a sword
Ario Oratyrys (Trader) {52}: Pentoshi merchant who took a shine to the dower Lyonel, always dresses in excessive fineries and has multiple rings across both of his hands
Lord Boris Staedmon (Castellan) {45}: Father of the twins and Castellan of Grandview under Jon’s rule, wears an tattered eye patch over on his right eye

Name: Luke Stratos
Age: 16
Appearance: Tall, broad shoulders, dark brown skin, black hair in a crew cut wave, hazel brown eyes, lean, muscular build, celtic shield knot on his right bicep, a wolf head tattoo on his left forearm, and the Japanese Kanji for wind on his right bicel. Small, faded scars litter most of his body.
Personality: Kind, friendly, helpful, stubborn at times, hardworking, loves his family dearly, dedicated to helping others, can get nervous around girls, tends to be charming without noticing it, gentlemanly, and is a fighter to the very end.
Likes: Martal arts, his mother, his sisters, cooking, heroes, R&B music, country music, singing, desserts, figuring out what he can create with his Quirk, his classmates (sans Bakugo at times), storms, windy days, mythology.
Dislikes: Bullies, his father, villains, anyone who mistreats women, people who fight for no reason, heroes who only care about fame, cameras, extremely cheesy foods, snakes, and waking up super early.
Quirk: Gale Forge- Luke's Quirk allows him to generate, manipulate, and intensify wind currents. This gives Luke the ability to not only manipulate the wind and air around him for simple purposes such as movements and basic attacks but also solidify the air into various constructs, essentially forging objects out of wind. These constructs can range from simple shields and battering rams to more complex shapes like blades, grappling hooks, and even animals. The constructs Luke creates take on a dark, midnight blue shade.
Quirk Drawbacks: Luke's Quirk relies heavily on the air quality around him. If the air is too humid or too wet than his constructs will become virtually unusable. And if Luke's airway or supply becomes shortened or cut off in any way then he won't be able to create anything at all. Overuse of his Quirk can also lead to intense asthma attacks or ruptured blood vessels.
Quirk Supermoves:
Cyclone Lancer: Luke summons numerous, dark blue spears around him that he uses to launch from a distance.
Sky Shot: Luke creates a blue wind bow and fires an arrow at his target. As long as he has eyes on his target, the arrow will follow.
Gale Step: Luke summons concentrated bursts of air from beneath his feet, increasing his speed and mobility.
Vortex Wrath: Luke creates a spinning funnel of wind around his arm and shapes it into a drill.
Breeze Blade: Luke summons a triangular-bladed broadsword that he uses at close range.
Falcon Tempest: Luke summons a cast of wind falcons he uses as either a means of attack or a way to temporarily blind an opponent.
Lupus Storm: Luke summons a pack of wolves that he can use to carry injured people away from the battlefield or attack numerous opponents.
Ryuusepuu (Dragon Whirlwind): Luke creates a swirling, Asian lung Dragon that circles around him before he sends it at his opponent. The Dragon traps the opponent in a massive vortex before biting down on them with full force.
Fujin-ken (Wind God Fist): Luke gathers spinning wind around his right fist that he sends out in a massive burst of wind that sometimes takes the form of an angry Oni head.
Howling Hurricane: Currently Luke's strongest move. He summons a massive amount of wind around him before launching himself into the air. Luke shifts into a flying kick position and condenses the wind around his outstretched leg. The wind transforms themselves into a wolf head which bites down on his target with the full force of hurricane force winds.
Hero Name: Zephyros, The Wind Knight
Hero Costume: Dark blue cargo pants with black tribal markings swirling around the outer edges of it. The pants are tucked into a set of black boots with silver armor protecting his knees and shins. A black and silver belt is around his waist full of different medical supplies, smoke bombs, flashbangs, and other small weapons that Luke uses in the field. He wears a long-sleeved black and blue shirt made of a special material that is bulletproof, tearproof, and fireproof along with protective armor on his forearms and shoulders. His torso is covered by a chest guard with the image of a knight's helm surrounded by streaks of wind on the front area. His chest guard also acts a wind breaker with lighter, cloth material hanging down past his hips along with a hood on the back of his neck. His look is finished off with a mask covering the lower half of his face and a simple mask over his eyes that enhaces his vision through numerous types of filters.
Background: Luke is the only male child of now divorced parents. His father, a real estate tycoon was so focus on his work that he neglected his wife which also led to his infidelity. Luke in turn has four older sisters with two of them being the daughters of women other than his mother. Luke's father was hardly in his life, only seeing the young man a few times a year, leaving him to be raised by his mother and older sisters.
Luke grew up seeing just how hard his family members worked to be able to provide for him and each other. Luke's mother gave him as much love as she could as well as showing him different skills that would help him in the future. As he grew, his sisters succeeded in their careers and became the top of their fields; a respected surgeon, a lawyer, a tech entrepreneur, and even a pop icon. While sometimes being placed in the shadows of his successful siblings, he never felt like he was inferior to them. They all loved him and he loved them, idolizing how much hard work they put in to making their dreams come true.
Luke first became interested in the hero world when he saw a local hero not only save a small time grocery store from getting robbed but also assisting him in getting his business back in working order. Luke realized that being a hero wasn't just about dealing with villains or flashy rescues but also giving the people hope when they felt like they didn't have any. Just like how his family members made him feel when he was at his lowest points.
Luke made it his goal to become a hero, to do some good for the people in this world that felt like nothing good ever happened to them.

Hello,
My bangs are in the stage where they are too long to have in front of my face but they are too short to look good with my usual middle part. I have been relying on headbands, bows, and french braids recently but i need advice for how to style them until I can get in for a trim. My hair is wavy when brushed and curly when air dried. Any tips?

Just warning y'all, this is gonna be really long... I'm trying to give as much context as I can for better understanding. And another warning, I mention some things about weight and feeling insecure about it. Not anything too bad, but just so you know. Anyways. I'm AFAB, and I've used the label genderfluid since 2019, but now as I'm getting older and allowing myself to explore my gender identity without feeling ashamed, I don't know if I'm really genderfluid, or transgender, or what. I just would like to know what label this sounds like to y'all? And I KNOW I don't Have to use a label, I just want to know or get some other peoples thoughts on it, because I'm really confused and don't know what is really going on with me. So basically, I've been identifying as a woman for a long time, since it's my assigned gender at birth. But in 2019, I really just learned about LGBTQ and all of the labels and meanings, and I found that Genderfluid fit me best. That some days I felt like a boy, some days I felt like a girl, some days I felt like neither, or both, whatever. But I think I kinda forgot about it, and I just identified as a woman again. And then in 2020, I thought I might be trans, as I wanted to be everything male. I wanted to dress that way, look that way, have a different name and haircut and pronouns and all of that. And I was ALOT happier that way, and I felt more comfortable, but also not at the same time because of my chest. I've wanted a binder for a VERY long time, and I didn't have one till just THIS year, and so whenever I dressed how I wanted to in 2020, I just looked like a guy with a big bust and it repulsed me, so I really just tried to be male online with my friends mostly? Since I didn't look like one in real life, I felt like I was embarrassing myself, y'know? :( And in 2021, I just went by agender, because I didn't feel like being anything. But also that year, I was really depressed, so I think maybe I just didn't wanna have to stress about my gender too. Anyways, in 2023 I went into a relationship with somebody, and I was identifying as a woman at that point, so I kinda subconsciously hyperfeminized myself so I could be their "perfect" girlfriend, even though they didn't want me to do that. I kinda tried way too hard that year 💀 We broke up in November that year, and after that, I've been exploring my gender again. I realized there wasn't really a need to be so feminine, and I started to like Harry Potter for the first time! My favorite character was Ron Weasley, and I started to really like his character, and the actor himself. I really admired the way he dressed when he was younger, and at that point, I decided that I should start dressing the way I REALLY want to. So I got the money for new clothes, AND A BINDER! And I finally got to dress the way I've wanted for so long, and I was so happy. It was the happiest and best I've ever felt and looked in so long. I felt just like a boy. But, I also felt dysphoric for the first time in a while, because I had my long dark brown hair still. I didn't feel like I really looked like a boy enough because of it. And I debated cutting my hair, but I thought I was just really liking that Rupert Grint guy too much, and I only was acting that way because of him. Sometimes I really like a character or celebrity and I kind of accidentally subconsciously take on some things that they do, and the way they dress. But I eventually completely stopped liking Harry Potter, and I still wanted that haircut, so I did it. And I really tried to give myself a gender neutral/androgynous haircut, so if I felt like a girl again, I wouldn't regret the haircut. I had that haircut, and I dressed the way I wanted to, and I felt incredible. It's the most confident I've ever felt in my life, but then my hair started to grow out, and I looked more girly again, and I couldn't take it. So I had another haircut, this time inspired by Chino Moreno, the lead singer of my favorite band ever, Deftones. I got hairgel, and now I go out with my spiked hair, baggy jeans with boxers showing, baggy band shirt, my sneakers, and a ton of bracelets and cuffs. This is JUST how I have ALWAYS wanted to dress. I feel like a boy, and I'm so happy. But now I'm really getting to the point now, that's all of the context I had to say first. I've recently caught myself thinking "I can't wait to get top surgery one day." Which, I am DEFINITELY doing. But then I started thinking... what's next after that? Am I just gonna be me with a flat male looking chest, or am I gonna want to go more into it? (As in taking testosterone.) because I also catch myself dreaming about the day I'm old enough to take it. But does that mean I'm trans then? Because, I do like the idea of looking like a woman... But I also don't at all at the same time. I only like the idea od looking like a girl, I guess. Like a young girl. (Because I grew up as a little young girl who wore dresses and bows and did sweet things, I just feel most comfortable being a girl that way, related to my childhood. I don't like the idea of being a girl grown up getting a job, a relationship, a LIFE, ETC.) It's really confusing. And, my mom got nervous when I brought up top surgery though (and she 100% supports me though) because she was worried I would regret it when I do feel like a woman again. And I think that even if I do feel like a woman again one day, I can just be a woman with a flat chest ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But also, for the first time maybe ever in my life, I've started to get insecure over my weight. I think that when I was identifying/presenting myself as a woman, I just accepted that I was a bit big, because I was curvy and women are curvy sometimes and that was it. I've always been a little insecure over it, but I've also always been very scared to lose weight, because I'm scared that it'll go out of control and I'd get an eating disorder or something. Which is probably just a really weird thought, but I worry about alot of weird things. Anyways, I think the reason it's really bothering me now is because I want to look like a man. Not a big curvy woman with boobs and hips and love handles and a butt, I want to be a fully flat man. I'm flat in the chest at least with my binder, but I feel disgusted whenever I have to see my hips or behind though. Not necessarily because they're big, but because I'm supposed to be a man. It makes me feel so dysphoric. I just don't understand what is going on with me. Am I just a heavily confused genderfluid person? Am I really just a girl?? Am I transgender, and I only liked being a girl when I was younger, but not as an adult??? Is that even a thing????? I just need advice, or opinions, or somebody to help out and tell me what labels this could be, or what is wrong with me, or something. Please. Thanks in advance, and I'm sorry for the very very long post.
TL;DR. I don't know if I am a transgender male, or just a really confused genderfluid person.

I randomly give compliments in public, not usually anyone’s face, I’m too socially awkward for that. But if I’m with my friends I’ll loudly say things like ‘oh my god, I love that bow in their hair! It’s so cute!’ Or ‘I love that shirt, they look so cool’, sometimes I pretend I’m on call with someone or something like that. At work I’m already interacting with them so just after they’ve payed I quickly make a ‘by the way I really love your ___” kind of remark.
Whenever I’m having a bad day or struggling with something it’s just nice to do, sometimes the person glances at me, or looks at whatever I decided to point out, sometimes people just don’t hear me, but it makes me feel good.
No one really knows that I do this purposely, as in like when I’m with my friends and stuff, and it’s been something I’ve been doing for about a year or two now.
It’s just good fun!
I’m still very much in a time of my life where I’m still figuring things out, especially with being 17, soon to be 18, feeling like I still haven’t quite found myself, the transition is hard, but i know how important a random compliment could be to a person.
I use to be very insecure (not so much now, school really was just a breeding ground for mental illness and insecurity) but distinctly remember when I was in a supermarket with my mom and heard a stranger compliment my shirt, that made me feel good for such a long time and I’m unashamed to admit that I wore that shirt a lot more after that.
Literally that one small thing made my week, and that person would never know how much it meant to me at that time, or how it’s inspired me to do the same.