Cute ideas for boyfriend on easter
Minecraft's Suggestion Box
2010.09.08 16:22 idwolf Minecraft's Suggestion Box
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2015.12.07 05:02 woofe woofe whats for lumch haha
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2012.09.09 20:05 taciturnbob Black Mirror
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2024.05.15 14:00 PenguinGreat Ranking how attractive every Nikke I have is
 | I'm very much expecting to be roasted for my great taste. Do your worst. submitted by PenguinGreat to NikkeMobile [link] [comments] I've been playing for nearly six months. Many of the characters I've really come to really enjoy. So, I wanted to go through each Nikke I have pulled and discuss how attractive they are. Attraction has two big components for me, how physical attractive they are and how attractive their personality is. I will refer to these as "beauty" and "personality" I will rank both on a 1-10 scale and combine for a total score. Note that I will only be reviewing Nikkes that I have pulled. Hard for me to review characters I don't know very well. Tier list for summary: https://preview.redd.it/ft83lqeexk0d1.jpg?width=727&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=752266e0bfbd061811f1147dd0223425bf5ca83b Let's start with the top tier "Spend the rest of my life with". These are the best of the best and most attractive girls with scores 18.5 and up. Rapi Beauty - 10/10 Personality - 10/10 Total score - 20/20 Starting with best girl Rapi. The only girl I give a perfect score to in both categories. She's the poster girl for the game for a reason. Just so beautiful and adorable. Just a great design and outfit. Love her cute cap especially. In terms of personality, she also knocks it out of the park. I have a big weakness for characters that appear cold on the outside but are actually just softies. Rapi pulls this off perfectly. I also really enjoy characters that are really disciplined and loyal to what they believe in. I also really enjoy the "straight man" role she plays with Anis and Neon's antics. Marciana Beauty - 10/10 Personality - 9.5/10 Total score - 19.5/20 Maybe it's the tight white pants, maybe it's the midriff, maybe it's the fact that she looks like a hot teacher I had when I was 14 but I think Marciana has one of the most attractive appearances of any Nikke. She has a great demenor and I will always have a love for dark haired girls. Her personality is also fantastic. I love her stern and cold appearance on first viewing. Much like Rapi, I just love a girl who is tough on the outside but a big softy on the inside. She was extremely adorable in her bond story and I loved seeing that other side of her you may not expect. D Beauty - 10/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 19/20 There is no more attractive combo than black hair + red eyes. This combo will kill me every time I see it. Now I liked D before, but once she got her new SSR she rocketed up my beauty rankings. She is the most attractive looking girl in all of Nikke without a doubt. Her black dress is to die for. Plus she reminds me a bit of Yor Forger which is always a good thing. As you can probably tell from above, I really love girls who seem really cold and rigid. I feel D may not show her soft side as much as Marciana or Rapi but the odd time it does come it is absolutely adorable. I also really appreciate her strong discipline and wanting to get her job done and do it correctly. Maxwell Beauty - 10/10 Personality - 8.5/10 Total score - 18.5/20 Maxwell marks the last Nikke in my ranking to receive a 10 for beauty, and she absolutely deserves it. Every part of Maxwell is just amazing to look at. Her toned abs are the highlight for me as I really love an athletic girl, as well as having my ideal chest size. She's free to examine me as much as she wants. Not to mention her design is also extremely adorable and I love the little cap she has on. Her personality also does quite well for me. I really enjoy the straight man role she has with her quirky teammates. A valuable role to have as it is needed to keep them in check and to not go overboard. Blanc Beauty - 9.5/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 18.5/20 Ah the bunny girls, of course Blanc's beauty will be high! Blanc is absolutely adorable! The white skin, hair, and suit mixing with those beautiful yellow eyes is truly breathtaking. The adorable collar and tie she has is amazing as well. My favourite part of her whole design has to be the little fang she has. It just destroys me. I really love how outgoing, extraverted, and friendly she is. This side of her does really well playing off Noir and giving them a fun dynamic in how opposite they are in many way. Someone just very enjoyable that I would love to see on my screen at any time. That concludes our top tier and my top 5. Next we will go to the still great but "Near perfection". This includes scores of 17-18. Privaty Beauty - 9/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 18/20 Privaty is super adorable. She has my favourite blush out of any girl in the game. Also love her adorable twintails, sexy yellow eyes, and her larger than sometimes expected chest. Her maid SSR is fantastic and really helps show off her adorableness and her assets. I adore tsunderes and Privaty does it perfectly. She would be so fun to tease as you would always get a great reaction. Like stated previously, I really love a girl who seems rigid at first but actually really cares. Diesel Beauty - 8.5/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 17.5/20 Diesel is really pretty and quite beautiful. Her conductor outfit is very cute and fits her very well. Her smile is always a joy to see and should always be protected. I adore how sweet she is. Someone who you just want to see keep smiling and never frown. I really enjoy her because she is just a joy to be around. Even in her sader moments, it is still great to see her be able to move on and keep a smile. Crown Beauty - 8.5/10 Personality - 8.5/10 Total score - 17/20 Crown is very elegant and beautiful. I love the dignified aura her design holds. Her outfit is great too, as it really does well in both showing her curves but still giving her a regal and professional feel. I think Crown is hilarious with how she can often mess up basic words and concepts. Otherwise, I really love how disciplined she is and how dedicated she is to being a leader. Rosanna Beauty - 9.5/10 Personality - 7.5/10 Total score - 17/20 Rosanna has a fantastic design. Split white/black hair is great and man those eyes are killer. Her outfit is also fantastic. The mafia boss style is cool and sexy, and she has great midriff and cleavage that are very alluring. Don't even get me started on those thigh high boots. Her personality is also good, even if not as great as who I have mentioned before. I love how forward she is with what she wants. Just straight up telling the commander she wants to hook up in her bond story was awesome. I also love how protective she can really get. Exia Beauty - 8/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 17/20 Exia is such a cutie. The oversized shirt is adorable and oddly quite sexy. The messy hair, dazed look in her eyes, and exposed thighs are also really good. I'd love to waste the rest of my life playing video games with Exia. Just waste away from responsibilities and society by just playing games. This is the ideal scenario in my mind. Isabel Beauty - 8/10 Personality - 9/10 Total score - 17/20 Isabel has a killer body and a very kissable face. I really love her beautiful long purple hair and how it blends with her beautiful eyes and outfit so well. Yanderes are always fantastic. Isabel can lock me in her house and throw away the key for all I care. She just needs some love and to have a stable happy family in her life (I mean I don't know how stable of a life you could have with Isabel but at least we have similar life goals). Those are the 6 in my second tier. Next we have the "Beautiful" tier for those scoring between 15-16.5. Rapunzel Beauty - 8.5/10 Personality - 8/10 Total score - 16.5/20 I'm not normally into the whole nun thing and I'm also not typically into blondes but Rapunzel is so gorgeous that I overlook that. She has a very lovely smile and a very alluring outfit that shows her great proportions very nicely. Her normally holy design and behaviour being taken over by her dirty thoughts is always funny too see. She reminds me a bit of Darkness from Konosuba in that way. With the impure thoughts just constantly invading her mind. Mihara Beauty - 8/10 Personality - 8/10 Total score - 16/20 Mihara really activated something in me that I didn't know I had. Her outfit is quite lewd but also very attractive. The black goes really well with her lovely black hair. You can really tell she mean business. Masochism is great, right? I definitely like giving pain rather than receiving so this works for me. Not to mention that I really like her voice. Goes right through my ears and into my brain. Noir Beauty - 7.5/10 Personality - 7.5/10 Total score - 15/20 The 2nd best of the bunnies, she is good but not nearly as good as Blanc. She has quite the attractive appearance but I feel her chest is a bit too large for what I normally like in a girl. Otherwise the black bunny suit is really great. Personality also isn't as good as blank. I don't tend to enjoy someone who is overly shy and reserved. I do appreciate how kind and caring she is and how she is trying to improve. Yuhla Beauty - 7.5/10 Personality - 7.5/10 Total score - 15/20 Yuhla's design overall is very good but it is her sharp teeth that appeal to me most. Something about them is just very attractive and suits her quite well. Not to mention her outfit gives her great midriff and even shows off some cool scarring. I really appreciate hard workers and while she doesn't have the most friendly personality, she still wins me over with how spicy she got in her bond story. That ends this tier of characters. Next we start to fall off a bit with the "Almost good" tier. This tier has scores from 13.5-14.5. Helm Beauty - 7/10 Personality - 7.5/10 Total score - 14.5/20 On paper Helm's design should by a 10/10 for me. The outfit, the hair, the thick thighs all really appeals to me. Just something about her feels a bit... off? Maybe it is her posture and how she is a bit hunched over that makes it look odd to me. Still overall I like her design but I just feel it is not as good as it should be. I really appreciate how disciplined she is. Anytime a girl has strong discipline and loyalty she will really appeal to me. Other than that she is a little bit boring. I remember her bond story being a bit meh. Naga Beauty - 8/10 Personality - 6.5/10 Total score - 14.5/20 Naga has a great design. Schoolgirl outfit is very cute and the unbuttoned top and short teasing skirt are very alluring. I really like her hairstyle with one of her eyes being covered by her hair. Naga's personality doesn't quite hit for me. I like how she tends to act more on the mature side but in reality I just found her to be really really boring most of the time. A few times she was good but it wasn't often enough for me to give a higher score. Noise Beauty - 7.5/10 Personality - 6.5/10 Total score - 14/20 Noise is another girl with a very attractive design. It is really good all around and I can see how people would really like her, but for me it is good rather than great. I'm not a big fan of the blonde she has in her hair. If her hair was all dark I think it would look better. Her personality is very bland. On paper I like the idea of a one hit wonder trying to get another hit but Noise just doesn't have the personality to get me invested. No an awful one but not great either. Mast Beauty - 8.5/10 Personality - 5/10 Total score - 13.5/20 Mast has a great design. Very sexy and very cute. Reminds me a bit of Marine from Hololive. The twintails are super cute and the fang is fantastic. For personality, I haven't done her bond story yet so I don't know it too well. Her ranking may change when I play it. For now I think a 5 is fair as from what I have seen, she seems average. This ends the first half of tiers. Now we start getting into those I don't like. Next is the "Average at best. Bad at worst". Scores will be 11-13. Quiry Beauty - 7/10 Personality - 6/10 Total score - 13/20 Quiry is very cute and I really like her outfit. One major drawback of her is that I am not a huge fan of pink hair. Otherwise the design is pretty solid all around. I don't know too much about her as I haven't done her bond story but I do like her quirk of having poor eyesight. Cute and endearing but I just don't know her well enough. Soda Beauty - 7/10 Personality - 6/10 Total score - 13/20 Soda has two very big reasons to like her design. The thing holding her design back for me is that her head just looks empty. Like just a blank face with no other thoughts behind it. Normally I like a smile but she looks less dumb without one. Her personality is a bit annoying. I like a bit of clumsiness but hers just is way too much. Really brings down her score for me. Otherwise she seems cute and kind. Julia Beauty - 7.5/10 Personality - 4.5/10 Total score - 12/20 If there was an award for most forgettable SSR, I would give it to Julia. I completely keep forgetting she exists even tho I do really like her design. It is very beautiful and elegant. I really like the violin as well. Maybe because I haven't done her bond story but what I have seen just seems really boring to me. As I learn more about her, she may go up but for now I can only give a 4.5. Yuni Beauty - 5.5/10 Personality - 6/10 Total score - 11.5/20 Yuni's design doesn't hit super hard for me. A bit too small in stature for my personal preference but she is quite cute. Plus again not huge on pink hair in general. I don't like receiving pain (at least not physical) so that relly does turn me away from her a bit. Otherwise she is cute enough but not my cup of tea. Anis Beauty - 6/10 Personality - 5.5/10 Total score - 11.5/20 Now I know some won't be happy with this one. Anis is very ok but is 100% overrated. She is quite cute but she really doesn't live up to the hype that some people give her. I do like her hat a lot tho. For personality she can be annoying at times. She can be funny but for the most part I think a lot of her jokes fall flat. This ends the average tier. Now we can get into girl I don't like in the "Why do people like them?" tier. This has scores between 5-10. Brid Beauty - 5/10 Personality - 5/10 Total score - 10/20 I know Brid has 2 big reasons that people like her, but for me they are a bit too big and I don't really like anything else she has going for her. Not huge on the hair even tho I am normally a big fan of white hair. Personality is a bit boring. I like how she is a hard worker but she really puts me to sleep. Delta Beauty - 5/10 Personality - 5/10 Total score - 10/20 Very meh design. Not a fan of the hair, or the army gear. If she wore the sunglasses rather than having them on her forehead, it would improve my opinion. Personality is just plain boring. I appreciate discipline but I would rather watch paint dry. I have heard she give something at the end of her bond story tho... but not enough to redeem her. Alice Beauty - 4/10 Personality - 4.5/10 Total score - 8.5/20 Way too much pink on her. The pink jumpsuit I could live with but the pink hair just makes it a bit too much for me. With a different hair colour or different outfit colour she may appeal more to me. I thought she was cute at first but got really annoying quickly. Her voice also just begged the heck out of me and made me want to put the game down. Tia Beauty - 4/10 Personality - 4/10 Total score - 8/20 I don't really like her design. Schoolgirl is normally really good but hers just isn't appealing. Not a fan of the haircut and the look on her face has always bugged me a bit. She is very annoying. Like really she just gets on all my nerves. Not even sure why but she just really grates on me. Neon Beauty - 4/10 Personality - 3.5/10 Total score - 7.5/20 Neon is easily the worst Counters member. I wish it had been someone else. Exia I think would have been a good choice. Her design really doesn't do much for me. I usually like hats but hers I always thought looked really bad on her. Needs a change of outfit and to actually face the camera. Her personality is very annoying as well. Feels like she is so one note for someone who is a main character. Just talking about firepower and not a ton else. Just in the game way too much. Rupee Beauty - 3.5/10 Personality - 4/10 Total score - 7.5/20 Honestly I think she is kind of ugly. The big smile makes her looks super dumb and a bit like a bimbo. That's just what I get from her design. Don't find her attractive at all. Her personality also seems really annoying and was making me roll my eyes when she's on screen. That is the end of this tier. I know I have made some enemies for these placements. The next tier is the "Pass" tier. I'm not going to go through each girl here as they are all ones I just don't have an interest in. Most because the design just looks too young for me and I don't want to talk about their attraction level. There are some however who I really like the characters of. For example, Liter is great and I'd love to complain about the youth with her. Soline is also special to me as she was the first Nikke I pulled. The final tier is the "Extremely attractive but I hate them as characters so I wouldn't go close to them". These are the worst offenders of all. Characters who have the design but just awful personality. Sin Beauty - 9/10 Personality - -5/10 Total score - 4/20 Sin is insanely hot. A top 10 design in the game IMO. The yogo pants are wild and I really think the mask looks good on her. Here is the problem. I HATE manipulative women. Nothing is more aggravating and a bigger turn away than someone manipulative. Taking advantage of someone's kindness like that is just cruel and evil (and not evil in the sexy way). I just can't like someone like that. Viper Beauty - 9.5/10 Personality - -7/10 Total score - 2.5/20 Viper is even a worse case. She was the reason I started playing the game in the first place. My disappointment when she turned out to be manipulative and cruel just upset me greatly. A great design wasted on garbage. Crow Beauty - 8.5/10 Personality - -8/10 Total score - 0.5/20 I hate Crow. She has a great design that is attractive but I really hate her. I don't want to explain further because of spoiler reasons but she is everything I hate in a character and personality. This concludes all the Nikke girls I have and how attractive I find them. So, how's my taste? |
2024.05.15 13:58 tinkerellabella Husband wants us to sell family home
My (29F) husband (40M) wants to sell our family home. What do I do?
Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I feel it’s only been helpful because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family. My husband says that he’s tired of the mortgage and feeling forced to work and missing out on spending time with our daughter (his job is very high stress).
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. I’m afraid of her being an only child of divorce; I imagine it’ll be lonely and emotionally traumatizing. He is a good father to her, even though he is cold (but civil) with me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.
submitted by tinkerellabella to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I feel it’s only been helpful because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family. My husband says that he’s tired of the mortgage and feeling forced to work and missing out on spending time with our daughter (his job is very high stress).
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. I’m afraid of her being an only child of divorce; I imagine it’ll be lonely and emotionally traumatizing. He is a good father to her, even though he is cold (but civil) with me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.
2024.05.15 13:34 LevelUniversity4743 My Thoughts Are Split, And I Really Need Some Help…
I have been struggling with my sexual orientation for a couple years now, and just recently the idea of me possible being trans has popped into my head. As of posting this, I am a possibly bi, pan, or gay male (still struggling with sexual interest). I currently have a boyfriend as of posting this, and I'm absolutely petrified how he will react when, or if I tell him who I really am, because he has no interest at all with females. I have a few trans friends at the minute and I've been asking around for some guidance, advice, and personal experience from them. Though they have been helpful, and if its not too much to ask, I would like to ask some of you wonderful folks for your advice, or personal experiences with becoming trans. And also how did you open up to your parents about the news, i was planning on talking to my parents, but that was before I thought that i might be trans. Please somebody give me some advice?
submitted by LevelUniversity4743 to lgbt [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 13:33 mangoplant49 now I'm not sure if visiting my boyfriend is a good idea..
So me(29f) and my boyfriend(26m) are nevermets but have been together for 6 months. I'm planning to visit him this year, and we’re both looking forward to it. However, there are three things that have been bothering me.
First, he's too broke to afford anything. We're both still students, so I don't even care if he's rich or poor but the problem is that I can't expect anything from him. He lives in a cheap hostel with a shared bathroom and suggested that I stay with him there and pay half. I found a cheap hotel where we could have some privacy, but he said he didn't want to pay for two accommodations at the same time since he couldn’t leave the hostel this year. I don't think we'll even go to a restaurant cause I know he will say it's too expensive all the time and he once mentioned that he never pays even on a first date, which is okay with me, but it makes me feel like I can’t expect anything, even though I'll be spending around $1500 on flights alone to visit him. The total travel expenses would be around $3000-$4000.
Second, he never even considers visiting me. He just expects me to come visit him and eventually move to his country so that we can make our relationship work. probably this is because there is no way for him to afford the travel costs, but it’s still a huge turn-off. If he did visit me, I would gratefully pay for accommodations or even split the total expenses, including flights, even though I know he wouldn't do the same for me.
Lastly, and most critically, I can't help but think he's not that into me. His words are incredibly sweet, but I’ve never felt loved by his actions. I clearly like him more than he likes me, which is okay for now, but I wonder if spending so much money and taking the risk to visit him is a good idea.
Well I know I sound stupid, but yeah I still like this guy a lot and don't want to date other guys yet. Sorry for the long story, but I really want to know what you all think.
submitted by mangoplant49 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
First, he's too broke to afford anything. We're both still students, so I don't even care if he's rich or poor but the problem is that I can't expect anything from him. He lives in a cheap hostel with a shared bathroom and suggested that I stay with him there and pay half. I found a cheap hotel where we could have some privacy, but he said he didn't want to pay for two accommodations at the same time since he couldn’t leave the hostel this year. I don't think we'll even go to a restaurant cause I know he will say it's too expensive all the time and he once mentioned that he never pays even on a first date, which is okay with me, but it makes me feel like I can’t expect anything, even though I'll be spending around $1500 on flights alone to visit him. The total travel expenses would be around $3000-$4000.
Second, he never even considers visiting me. He just expects me to come visit him and eventually move to his country so that we can make our relationship work. probably this is because there is no way for him to afford the travel costs, but it’s still a huge turn-off. If he did visit me, I would gratefully pay for accommodations or even split the total expenses, including flights, even though I know he wouldn't do the same for me.
Lastly, and most critically, I can't help but think he's not that into me. His words are incredibly sweet, but I’ve never felt loved by his actions. I clearly like him more than he likes me, which is okay for now, but I wonder if spending so much money and taking the risk to visit him is a good idea.
Well I know I sound stupid, but yeah I still like this guy a lot and don't want to date other guys yet. Sorry for the long story, but I really want to know what you all think.
2024.05.15 13:32 Th3BabblingBrook3 Transformers! [F4M or APM]
Hey hey hey! I'm Rexi and I'm a 21 year old who absolutely love transformers with a PASSION! G1? Prime? And of course IDW (although still reading), we don't even get started on the new Skybound comics! (Just reordered them!) I am really, really fending for a transformers RP! Preferably a transformer x human because, well, who can blame me? It's been cannon a few times and it's always so checking cute!
Anywho, I'm really open to using ocs or even Canon characters! I'll be super, dooper real with you! For cannon, I really want to find someone to play either, Starscream (PLS PLS PLS), Soundwave, Megatron or even Shockwave! Deceptions are my favourite I'm sure like a lot of people. However! I'm super open to anyone who wants to play a cybatroian oc!^(specifically a con)
I haven't got a heap of plots but I really wanna build something with someone, so it's fun for both parties! I love for it to be fun for everyone! I also love character driven plots with all the angst, drama and slow burn possible!
Now for my rules!^
If you have ideas or anything feel free to let me know! As well I have a tad few rules. 1: no minors. I am 21 and refuse any minors in my dms. 2: OCs must be above 18, preferably 21 and up. 3: Semi literate and above. 4: Third person, no first person. 5: Be happy to chat and even become friends! I use RP to make friends so please don't come into my DMs hella serious and straight to the point, show me some of your personality! Can't have a good RP if our vibes don't match! 6: Send me a plane emoji if you read all of this. 7: Feel free to DM if interested, comments will most likely he ignored because it shows you didn't read all through tehehe. 8: Please let us shift to a private discord server! 9: Google docs with out characters info! Doesn't have to be a heap but a little always helps. 10: I work and Volunteer so sometimes I may be a tad AFK so don't think I ignored you! Same with if I don't reply for awhile I'm probably asleep, I have a slight pain of a time zone! 11: please don't take control of each other's characters, it's a big old pet peeve of mine! 12: no NSFW, erp, smutt or whatever you want to call it. I'm not comfortable with it and you will not convince me to partake in it! The most is a fade to black thats it.
submitted by Th3BabblingBrook3 to u/Th3BabblingBrook3 [link] [comments]
Anywho, I'm really open to using ocs or even Canon characters! I'll be super, dooper real with you! For cannon, I really want to find someone to play either, Starscream (PLS PLS PLS), Soundwave, Megatron or even Shockwave! Deceptions are my favourite I'm sure like a lot of people. However! I'm super open to anyone who wants to play a cybatroian oc!^(specifically a con)
I haven't got a heap of plots but I really wanna build something with someone, so it's fun for both parties! I love for it to be fun for everyone! I also love character driven plots with all the angst, drama and slow burn possible!
Now for my rules!^
If you have ideas or anything feel free to let me know! As well I have a tad few rules. 1: no minors. I am 21 and refuse any minors in my dms. 2: OCs must be above 18, preferably 21 and up. 3: Semi literate and above. 4: Third person, no first person. 5: Be happy to chat and even become friends! I use RP to make friends so please don't come into my DMs hella serious and straight to the point, show me some of your personality! Can't have a good RP if our vibes don't match! 6: Send me a plane emoji if you read all of this. 7: Feel free to DM if interested, comments will most likely he ignored because it shows you didn't read all through tehehe. 8: Please let us shift to a private discord server! 9: Google docs with out characters info! Doesn't have to be a heap but a little always helps. 10: I work and Volunteer so sometimes I may be a tad AFK so don't think I ignored you! Same with if I don't reply for awhile I'm probably asleep, I have a slight pain of a time zone! 11: please don't take control of each other's characters, it's a big old pet peeve of mine! 12: no NSFW, erp, smutt or whatever you want to call it. I'm not comfortable with it and you will not convince me to partake in it! The most is a fade to black thats it.
2024.05.15 13:20 unanimouslymee Break
I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months for good today and sort of 3 days back. So what do I mean by "sort of" if you might be wondering, I'll give a brief about my relationship. He was a bestie friend from her old school and we started texting after he found me cute in one of the snaps my bestfriend sent. We had been talking for a year,but he had confessed his feelings from the beginning but I had rejected him cause I never met this guy before and all I knew about him was his online persona. Throughout the year we were good friends I went on a date with another guy And he was interested in a few girls but none of which worked out. My "date" obviously didn't work out and he kept trying his shot with me even though I rejected him multiple times until finally I agreed to meet up with him once. Well to say the least I liked his personality after we met up and we started going on a few dates and eventually started dating. He said 'I love you' to me since the first date which I kind of found weird but chose to ignore as different people experiencing emotions differently. Fast forward the first month was everything I ever wanted all sunshines and rainbows and things started going south from the next. It started with him being very distracted during calls and not paying attention or moody which I was bothered by and it wasn't a once or twice kind of thing it went on for MONTHS regardless of me expressing my dislike (might i add i dont usually do calls but i wanted to do it with him). It started off with small things like that and gradually our arguments increased to being weekly then daily. He used to do and say shit apologizes promise to be better and repeat. It was a LOOP. Recently it was our 6 months and we almost decided to break up once but he promised to be better so we didn't. Our 6 months was supposed to be magical we had everything planned out a good hotel a fine dining and all. He pulls out a promise ring and promises to be better and a huge ass speech the same night he told me that realistically a future between us won't be possible cause his mom won't agree. I was devastated it's not like I didn't know but you didn't have to point it out on a day that was special to us? Right after you gave me a promise ring??. We argued and I wanted to leave and go back home but he wouldn't let me in the process of stopping me he was forceful and accidentally ended up shoving me causing me to fall and hurt my back.i started crying cause I was shocked. He apologized but I was traumatized. We sorted? Things out that week and in the weekend I opened up to him about my past and family trauma after his constant pestering and we had Intercourse. Might I add this was my first relationship and I was a virgin but he wasn't and it wasn't even his first relationship. The arguing never stopped though even after despite him knowing that I was going through shit in life and it got worse to the point I had to beg him to not be insensitive for a day. Last weekend we argued again obviously but what he said this time hurt me the most. After we did the deed again and when I told him it was hurting for me, he told me "you didn't even do anything for it to hurt" For context. I have an undiagnosed illness that I'm still figuring out what it is. It makes my abdomen pain and I often times faint due to the pain audit has been going on for a year. He knew it but still said those words to me. More details in the next post.
submitted by unanimouslymee to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 13:18 VirtualAdvantage3639 Is Blue Archive a show suitable for a little kid/a family friendly show?
Let me preface I know nothing about Blue Archive. I know there is a videogame. No more details.
I was showing the spring lineup to my cousin hoping to interest her in anime overall and she really liked the cute design of the characters of Blue Archive. She wanted to know the title of the show but I heard somewhere that in Blue Archive there are guns and people shoot each other so I kept all the information.
I thought she would have forgotten the show in 10 seconds but she actually bugging me for the title. My aunt will never forgive me if I show her daughter some weird shit, so I'm asking you guys.
So, is the show really violent? Guns? Blood?
Is it a tragedy-fueled drama about war with people dying and people crying their eyes out in desperation? Don't want to shock her.
Weird fanservice going on? Fetish-y content that it's best a kid doesn't look at?
Showing this to a kid: good idea? Bad idea?
Thanks for all the feedback. I'll read every reply while I try to convince her to watch Yuru Camp instead.
submitted by VirtualAdvantage3639 to anime [link] [comments]
I was showing the spring lineup to my cousin hoping to interest her in anime overall and she really liked the cute design of the characters of Blue Archive. She wanted to know the title of the show but I heard somewhere that in Blue Archive there are guns and people shoot each other so I kept all the information.
I thought she would have forgotten the show in 10 seconds but she actually bugging me for the title. My aunt will never forgive me if I show her daughter some weird shit, so I'm asking you guys.
So, is the show really violent? Guns? Blood?
Is it a tragedy-fueled drama about war with people dying and people crying their eyes out in desperation? Don't want to shock her.
Weird fanservice going on? Fetish-y content that it's best a kid doesn't look at?
Showing this to a kid: good idea? Bad idea?
Thanks for all the feedback. I'll read every reply while I try to convince her to watch Yuru Camp instead.
2024.05.15 13:11 Sweet-Count2557 Animal Farms Petting Zoos Near Dc
 | Animal Farms Petting Zoos Near Dc Are you aware that there are over 15 animal farms and petting zoos near DC? Yes, you read that right! In this article, we will take you on a journey to explore some of the best places where you can get up close and personal with a wide range of animals.But that's not all, we'll also reveal some hidden gems that you might not have heard of before.So, if you're ready to embark on an exciting adventure filled with furry friends and fascinating encounters, keep reading to discover the perfect animal-filled destination for your next outing.Key TakeawaysThere are several animal farms and petting zoos near the DC area.These farms offer opportunities to feed and interact with a variety of animals, including goats, sheep, llamas, pigs, chickens, and more.Some farms also offer additional activities such as wagon rides, playgrounds, mazes, and pony rides.Each farm has its own unique features, such as a focus on goat cheese production, magical farm experiences, or guided tours of a working dairy farm.Leesburg Animal Park - LeesburgLeesburg Animal Park in Leesburg, Virginia offers visitors the opportunity to feed and pet a variety of farm animals, enjoy live animal shows, and explore indoor and outdoor playgrounds for kids. It's considered one of the best petting zoos near me, providing a fun and educational experience for the whole family.At Leesburg Animal Park, you can interact with roaming goats, sheep, llamas, and other farm animals. You can feed them and even pet them, creating a hands-on experience that kids will love. In addition to the farm animals, the park also features live animal shows that showcase exotic animals like camels, squirrel monkeys, and African-crested porcupines. These shows aren't only entertaining but also educational, teaching visitors about the diverse animal kingdom.For the little ones, there are indoor and outdoor playgrounds where they can burn off some energy while having a blast. The indoor Discovery Room is another highlight, offering crafts and hands-on activities that engage children's minds and creativity.Leesburg Animal Park is a petting park near me that provides a safe and kid-friendly environment. It's the perfect place to introduce children to the wonders of nature and animals. The park is easily accessible and located in Leesburg, Virginia, making it a convenient option for families in the area.Whether you're looking for a fun family outing or an educational experience, Leesburg Animal Park is a top choice. With its variety of activities and friendly animals, it's no wonder why it's considered one of the best petting zoos and kid-friendly farms near me.Nova Wild - RestonAfter exploring the wonders of Leesburg Animal Park, visitors can continue their petting zoo adventure by heading to Nova Wild in Reston, Virginia. Nova Wild, formerly known as Reston Zoo and Roers Zoofari, offers a unique self-drive safari experience where you can get up close with nine different species.Here are three reasons why Nova Wild is a must-visit destination for animal lovers:Diverse Animal Exhibits: At Nova Wild, you can encounter a variety of fascinating creatures. From reptiles and amphibians to arachnids and birds, there's no shortage of exotic animals to learn about and observe. You can marvel at the beauty of these creatures and gain a deeper understanding of their natural habitats.Petting Zoo Experience: One of the highlights of Nova Wild is the petting zoo, where you can interact with friendly barnyard animals. Feed goats, sheep, zebu, and other adorable farm animals, and experience the joy of connecting with these gentle creatures up close. It's a perfect opportunity for children and adults alike to learn about animal care and enjoy a hands-on experience.Convenient Location: Nova Wild is located in Reston, Virginia, making it easily accessible for those searching for animal petting zoos near me. If you're in the DC area and looking for a kids zoo near me, Nova Wild is a great choice. Its proximity to the city allows for a quick and convenient trip, making it an ideal outing for families and animal enthusiasts.With its diverse animal exhibits, petting zoo experience, and convenient location, Nova Wild is a fantastic addition to any animal farm adventure. Whether you're a local resident or a visitor to the area, a trip to Nova Wild promises an exciting and educational day filled with unforgettable animal encounters.Frying Pan Farm Park - HerndonFrying Pan Farm Park in Herndon, Virginia, offers visitors the opportunity to immerse themselves in a vibrant agricultural experience with a variety of farm animals and engaging activities. At the park, you can hang out with horses, chickens, peacocks, rabbits, sheep, goats, cows, and pigs. The farm is home to a diverse range of animals, providing a rich and educational experience for all ages.In addition to interacting with the animals, Frying Pan Farm Park offers wagon rides and farm tours. You can hop on a wagon and explore the farm, learning about its history and the importance of agriculture. The park also features a playground where you can let your kids burn off some energy and a 1920s carousel that adds a touch of nostalgia to the experience.One of the best parts about Frying Pan Farm Park is that admission to the park and farm is completely free. This makes it an accessible and affordable option for families looking to enjoy a day out in nature. Whether you're looking to pet farm animals, take a leisurely stroll, or simply relax in a beautiful setting, Frying Pan Farm Park has something for everyone.Located in Herndon, Virginia, Frying Pan Farm Park is conveniently situated near the DC area, making it an ideal destination for a day trip or weekend outing. So, grab your sunscreen, pack a picnic, and head on over to Frying Pan Farm Park for an unforgettable experience that will leave you with a greater appreciation for the wonders of agriculture and the beauty of farm life.Georges Mill Farm - LovettsvilleGeorges Mill Farm in Lovettsville, Virginia, offers a unique and immersive experience where visitors can interact with resident goats, pigs, and chickens on this eighth-generation family farm specializing in goat cheese, pastured pork, and eggs.Here are three reasons why you should consider visiting Georges Mill Farm:Close Encounters with Farm Animals: At Georges Mill Farm, you have the opportunity to get up close and personal with adorable animals. You can pet and feed the goats, pigs, and chickens, and learn more about their daily routines and habits. It's a hands-on experience that allows you to connect with these animals in a meaningful way.Delicious Farm-Fresh Products: As a farm specializing in goat cheese, pastured pork, and eggs, Georges Mill Farm offers a wide selection of delicious, high-quality products. You can purchase their goat cheese, which comes in a variety of flavors, as well as their pastured pork and fresh eggs. It's a great opportunity to support local agriculture and enjoy the fruits of their labor.Baby Goat Bottle Feeding: If you visit Georges Mill Farm in March and April, you can make an appointment to bottle feed and snuggle with adorable baby goats. This is a truly special experience that allows you to bond with these cute little creatures and create memories that will last a lifetime.Please note that Georges Mill Farm visitation is by appointment only. So, make sure to contact them in advance to schedule your visit. Don't miss out on the chance to visit this charming farm and have an unforgettable experience with their friendly animals.Great Country Farms - BluemontWhen visiting Great Country Farms in Bluemont, Virginia, there's a wide range of activities and attractions that cater to families and individuals of all ages. This family-friendly farm offers a 12-acre play area filled with exciting features such as mazes, jumping pillows, a ninja obstacle course, and even mini golf. Kids and adults alike can enjoy hours of fun and adventure in this expansive outdoor playground.One of the highlights of Great Country Farms is the barnyard area, where visitors can feed goats and meet pot-bellied pigs, chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese. This interactive experience allows you to get up close and personal with these adorable farm animals, fostering a deeper connection with nature and the rural lifestyle.Great Country Farms is open from mid-March through August and October, giving you plenty of opportunities to visit and enjoy all the farm has to offer. Whether you're looking for a weekend outing with the family or a solo adventure, this farm provides a welcoming and enjoyable environment for everyone.In addition to the play area and the barnyard, Great Country Farms also hosts seasonal events and activities, such as apple and pumpkin picking in the fall. These special events add an extra layer of excitement and create lasting memories for visitors.Located in Bluemont, Virginia, Great Country Farms is easily accessible from the DC area, making it a convenient destination for those seeking a break from the city. So, if you're looking for a day of outdoor fun and educational experiences, Great Country Farms is the perfect place to visit.Old Maryland Farm - Upper MarlboroOld Maryland Farm in Upper Marlboro offers a unique opportunity to learn about farm life in Maryland while interacting with a variety of agricultural exhibits and display gardens. Here are three reasons why you should visit:Educational Experience: At Old Maryland Farm, you can gain insight into the rich agricultural heritage of Maryland. Explore the farm's exhibits, which showcase the different aspects of farm life, including crop production, animal husbandry, and sustainable farming practices. Learn about the importance of agriculture in Maryland's economy and how it contributes to the food supply chain. The farm also offers curriculum-based programs and activities, making it a great educational outing for schools and families.Animal Encounters: Get up close and personal with a range of farm animals at Old Maryland Farm. Meet horses, pigs, chickens, llamas, and more as you stroll through the farm. Interact with these animals, feed them, and learn about their care and behavior. It's a fantastic opportunity for children and adults alike to develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for farm animals.Beautiful Gardens: In addition to its agricultural exhibits, Old Maryland Farm boasts lush display gardens that showcase the beauty of Maryland's flora. Take a leisurely stroll through these gardens and admire the vibrant colors and fragrant scents of the flowers and plants. It's a peaceful and serene setting that provides an escape from the hustle and bustle of city life.Located in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, Old Maryland Farm is a must-visit destination for anyone interested in learning about farm life in the state. Whether you're seeking an educational experience, animal encounters, or a peaceful garden stroll, this farm has it all. So, grab your family and friends and head to Old Maryland Farm for a day filled with fun, knowledge, and freedom.Clarks Elioak Farm - Ellicott CityAre you ready to immerse yourself in a magical farm experience? Head to Clarks Elioak Farm in Ellicott City, Maryland, where you can embark on a journey through a fairy garden, enjoy pony rides, and interact with a variety of farm animals. Clarks Elioak Farm offers a unique and enchanting experience for visitors of all ages.One of the highlights of this farm is the fairy garden, where you can explore a whimsical world filled with tiny houses, bridges, and magical creatures. Take a leisurely stroll through the garden, and let your imagination run wild as you discover hidden treasures and secret paths.If you're looking for some adventure, hop on a pony and take a ride around the farm. The gentle ponies are perfect for children and adults alike, and the experience is sure to create lasting memories.Of course, no farm visit is complete without getting up close and personal with the animals. Clarks Elioak Farm has a petting zoo where you can interact with goats, cows, pigs, sheep, and other farm animals. Feed them, pet them, and learn about their habitats and behaviors.The farm is open from early April to early November, so you have plenty of time to plan your visit. Whether you're looking for a fun family outing or a peaceful escape from the city, Clarks Elioak Farm has something for everyone. So pack up the car and head to Ellicott City for a day of magical farm adventures.Green Meadows Petting Farm - IjamsvilleIf you're looking for another fantastic petting zoo experience near Ellicott City, Maryland, make sure to visit Green Meadows Petting Farm in Ijamsville. This farm offers a hands-on experience with over 200 animals, including adorable baby animals. Here are three reasons why Green Meadows Petting Farm is worth a visit:Wide Variety of Animals: At Green Meadows Petting Farm, you'll have the opportunity to interact with a diverse range of animals. From fluffy rabbits and gentle sheep to curious goats and playful pigs, there's a furry friend for everyone. You can even feed the animals using the food provided by the farm, making the experience even more interactive and enjoyable.Exciting Activities: Along with the chance to meet and pet the animals, Green Meadows Petting Farm also offers a range of fun activities for visitors of all ages. Get ready to cheer on your favorite pig at the thrilling pig races, take a relaxing hayride through the picturesque farm, or zoom down the slides in the large play area. These activities provide endless entertainment and ensure a memorable day at the farm.Family-Friendly Atmosphere: Green Meadows Petting Farm is the perfect destination for a family outing. The farm is designed with families in mind, providing a safe and welcoming environment for children to explore and learn about animals. The friendly staff is always available to answer questions and provide guidance, ensuring a positive and educational experience for everyone.Frequently Asked QuestionsCan I Bring My Own Food to Feed the Animals at Leesburg Animal Park?Yes, you can bring your own food to feed the animals at Leesburg Animal Park. The park allows visitors to feed and pet roaming goats, sheep, llamas, and other farm animals. It's a great opportunity for a hands-on experience with the animals.In addition to feeding the animals, you can also enjoy live animal shows, take a wagon ride, and see exotic animals like camels and squirrel monkeys. So, feel free to bring your own food and make the most of your visit to Leesburg Animal Park.Are There Any Age Restrictions for the Activities at Frying Pan Farm Park?There are no age restrictions for the activities at Frying Pan Farm Park. Everyone, from young children to adults, can enjoy hanging out with the horses, chickens, peacocks, rabbits, sheep, goats, cows, and pigs.The park also offers wagon rides, farm tours, a playground, and a 1920s carousel. It's a great place for families to spend time together and learn about farm life.Plus, admission to the park and farm is free!Can I Purchase Products Like Goat Cheese and Pastured Pork at Georges Mill Farm?Yes, you can purchase products like goat cheese and pastured pork at Georges Mill Farm. They specialize in these items and offer a variety of high-quality, farm-fresh products.However, it's important to note that farm visitation is by appointment only, so you'll need to make arrangements beforehand.Visiting the farm not only allows you to purchase these delicious products, but also gives you the opportunity to see and interact with their resident goats, pigs, and chickens.Are There Any Special Events or Themed Days at Great Country Farms?There are indeed special events and themed days at Great Country Farms. Visitors can look forward to events like the Strawberry Jubilee, Peach Fuzztival, and Apple Gala. These events showcase the delicious fruits grown on the farm and offer activities such as pick-your-own fruit, live music, and farm-themed games.Additionally, there are seasonal festivals like the Fall Pumpkin Harvest and the Easter Egg Hunt. These events provide a fun and festive atmosphere for families to enjoy together.Is There an Admission Fee for Visiting Clarks Elioak Farm?Yes, there's an admission fee for visiting Clarks Elioak Farm.The farm charges a fee for both adults and children.The cost for adults is $10 per person.Children under 2 years old are free.For children aged 2 to 12, the admission fee is $7 per person.The admission fee includes access to all of the farm's attractions.Visitors can enjoy a variety of activities and experiences while at the farm.These include visiting with the farm animals, exploring the Enchanted Forest, and taking a hayride.There are also additional activities available for an extra fee, such as pony rides and gem mining.ConclusionAs we bid farewell to our animal-filled journey, we can't help but reflect on the incredible experiences we've had.From the gentle touch of a llama's fur to the thrill of a self-drive safari, these animal farms and petting zoos near DC have brought us closer to nature.They symbolize the harmony between humans and animals, reminding us of the importance of conservation and appreciation for the incredible creatures that share our world.So, come and immerse yourself in the wonder of these magical places, creating memories that will last a lifetime. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 12:45 Late-Let-4221 My (21F) GF (28F) is cheating on me but I am stuck living at her place. What would be a right course of action?
To preface one thing - this is in Singapore, I am half singaporean and half thai, I have no close friends or family members around here, but I study here.
So after many years of dating and many quite one sided and manipulative relationships with guys and after 3 months of being single I finally got into relationship with my GF. First time trying lesbian dynamic. I felt it would be very different, she would understand me more and was less demanding of me and of course less physical and simply more harmonious, since, you know it's a fellow woman.
I was also taking it slow and we had like dozen dates before getting entangled officially couple months ago. She is quite lovely and well educated, slightly older than me, somewhat exotic looking around here and it felt we are becming good friends.
When we finally hooked up she had to guide me a lot because it's indeed quite different dynamic than with a guy but that was fine, I guess and she seemed to even enjoyed and would joke about how I was lesbian virgin and she can shape me to be suited for her. Which I thought at the time was cute.
Long story short I recently finally moved in with her and that was a mistake. I've been at her place most of the time we would hang out because my place was really tiny. Right after I moved in I was just in a span of week introduced to basically a laundry list of chores I should do and at the time I thought alright we pull this together right, but we didn't. After next couple weeks I realised (for the first time ever) that I am doing the same chores I would be doing for my former boyfriends and I started to feel, yet again, more as a maid with benefits. This time I had courage to voice that to my GF and she would apologise and be all sweet about how she didn't realise and that would coo me for another week, but no changes would actually happen. Only now I think it's been manipulative.
Since I am a university student and a "gym bunny" I have less free time than one would expect and suddenly it was filled mostly by coming home doing chores before going to gym and then coming from gym and my GF would be still up and then she would be demanding for attention, mostly in bedroom. This is when I've also noticed that while guiding me in bedroom she never seemed eager to pleasure me in return unless I would specifically ask and so for days I tried not to ask and suddenly it was super one sided bedroom stuff and she seemed perfectly fine with that. That stung because it immedaitelly reminded me of my last 3 boyfriends where it was the same.
I held a lot of this in, trying to keep being disciplined and do all she'd like me to do and chores and everything more and better in hopes of her seeing more value in me. But it simply didn't happen, not over course of two plus weeks.
Well this weekend I was using her ipad, where she always logged off out of all social and communication apps when she wasn't using. I always thought it's a like... internet safety thing in case the device gets hacked or something. But this time her whatsapp and wechat was logged in and I simply discovered that while I am at school and she's "working" from home she's hooking up at least once a week with guys. Or at least mostly with guys I wasn't in the mood to read into too much detail, seeing texts of your presumeably loved sending very intimite and heartfelt texts to guys and reacting to their D pics and sending stuff back... I felt betrayed but so far I haven't said anything and the routine contiues to my own detrement.
From doing gymnastics on higher level for 10+ years I'm used to some discipline and manners that would now be probably consider abuse, but what I learnt from that was to be quiet a lot not to cause conflict and please people. Despite my previous relationships with guys being basically abusive it was eventually always them to dump me, I never had the guts to do it yet (not counting middle school lol). This time I recognize the problem and I would like to end things but at the same time I moved too soon (in hindsight) and have nowhere to go at the moment.
And so for weeks I felt like maid and for 4-5 days now I feel more like bang maid who's also stupid and naive and I couldn't contemplate a good .. like escape plan, that's why I am making this post. In the meanwhile I continue the same old routine unable to almost meet my GF's eyes, yet she seem strangely not noticing any change and looking quite happy. On top of that you probably can guess how I feel being at school, knowing there's a decent change she's out hooking up. It just all crushing my selfesteem yet I feel stuck in the routine and my head.
TLDR: GF is cheating, doesn't know I know, because I am scared to confront her since I have nowhere to go if I'd move out.
submitted by Late-Let-4221 to relationships [link] [comments]
So after many years of dating and many quite one sided and manipulative relationships with guys and after 3 months of being single I finally got into relationship with my GF. First time trying lesbian dynamic. I felt it would be very different, she would understand me more and was less demanding of me and of course less physical and simply more harmonious, since, you know it's a fellow woman.
I was also taking it slow and we had like dozen dates before getting entangled officially couple months ago. She is quite lovely and well educated, slightly older than me, somewhat exotic looking around here and it felt we are becming good friends.
When we finally hooked up she had to guide me a lot because it's indeed quite different dynamic than with a guy but that was fine, I guess and she seemed to even enjoyed and would joke about how I was lesbian virgin and she can shape me to be suited for her. Which I thought at the time was cute.
Long story short I recently finally moved in with her and that was a mistake. I've been at her place most of the time we would hang out because my place was really tiny. Right after I moved in I was just in a span of week introduced to basically a laundry list of chores I should do and at the time I thought alright we pull this together right, but we didn't. After next couple weeks I realised (for the first time ever) that I am doing the same chores I would be doing for my former boyfriends and I started to feel, yet again, more as a maid with benefits. This time I had courage to voice that to my GF and she would apologise and be all sweet about how she didn't realise and that would coo me for another week, but no changes would actually happen. Only now I think it's been manipulative.
Since I am a university student and a "gym bunny" I have less free time than one would expect and suddenly it was filled mostly by coming home doing chores before going to gym and then coming from gym and my GF would be still up and then she would be demanding for attention, mostly in bedroom. This is when I've also noticed that while guiding me in bedroom she never seemed eager to pleasure me in return unless I would specifically ask and so for days I tried not to ask and suddenly it was super one sided bedroom stuff and she seemed perfectly fine with that. That stung because it immedaitelly reminded me of my last 3 boyfriends where it was the same.
I held a lot of this in, trying to keep being disciplined and do all she'd like me to do and chores and everything more and better in hopes of her seeing more value in me. But it simply didn't happen, not over course of two plus weeks.
Well this weekend I was using her ipad, where she always logged off out of all social and communication apps when she wasn't using. I always thought it's a like... internet safety thing in case the device gets hacked or something. But this time her whatsapp and wechat was logged in and I simply discovered that while I am at school and she's "working" from home she's hooking up at least once a week with guys. Or at least mostly with guys I wasn't in the mood to read into too much detail, seeing texts of your presumeably loved sending very intimite and heartfelt texts to guys and reacting to their D pics and sending stuff back... I felt betrayed but so far I haven't said anything and the routine contiues to my own detrement.
From doing gymnastics on higher level for 10+ years I'm used to some discipline and manners that would now be probably consider abuse, but what I learnt from that was to be quiet a lot not to cause conflict and please people. Despite my previous relationships with guys being basically abusive it was eventually always them to dump me, I never had the guts to do it yet (not counting middle school lol). This time I recognize the problem and I would like to end things but at the same time I moved too soon (in hindsight) and have nowhere to go at the moment.
And so for weeks I felt like maid and for 4-5 days now I feel more like bang maid who's also stupid and naive and I couldn't contemplate a good .. like escape plan, that's why I am making this post. In the meanwhile I continue the same old routine unable to almost meet my GF's eyes, yet she seem strangely not noticing any change and looking quite happy. On top of that you probably can guess how I feel being at school, knowing there's a decent change she's out hooking up. It just all crushing my selfesteem yet I feel stuck in the routine and my head.
TLDR: GF is cheating, doesn't know I know, because I am scared to confront her since I have nowhere to go if I'd move out.
2024.05.15 12:40 Agreeable-Peak1451 Contemporary fiction, post 2010, several characters all living in the same apartment building go through massive life changes as two mysterious spirits hang over them
I read this book in or after college (my early 20s). The book was about a middle aged woman who was scared to turn forty, two or three young college guys who lived in one apartment together, and a couple who seemed perfect from the outside but were very depressed. I think there was also and old man or women. They all lived in the same building and didn’t know each other aside from that. The middle aged woman seemed like a hard ass and every time her boyfriend came over if the college boys would see him one of them would call him “poor fucker”. From what I remember they were foreigners from Poland (or the Check Republic -think Northern Europe). One of the college boys had a horrible girlfriend he would write to or call. She would always belittle him in letters or over the phone. So really he was the “PF”. His roommate was hoping he’d break up with her. Meanwhile the couple presented as happy and sweet. They had been excited to move to this new place. The girl (who I think was Irish and called Maeve) would ride her bike everywhere. I can’t remember exactly but I think it was because of her new job that she was sexually assaulted. It was sort of vaguely hinted at. After that she did not want to be touched by her boyfriend Matt. I think he might have blamed himself because he got bad vibes from the person who did it (I believe her boss or coworker because I believe she had to keep seeing this person) or because it was his idea to move. Maeve stops riding her bike and is understandably a shell of her former self. Eventually the pushing 40s woman realizes she’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to feel about it. She thinks she way too old to have a baby. He boyfriend is unexpectedly happy (from what I remember I think she expected him to freak out). They decide to get married and move out. At the same time the college boys make plans to move since the one guy’s girlfriend is moving to their new country to join him. Matt and Maeve seem like they will break up. This makes one of the spirits very upset. This spirit is sort of hoping from apartment to apartment to see how things unfold. They are simultaneously being chased by this other spirit who seems to be death. The spirit is very scared and knows it’s running out of time. Finally Matt and Maeve lay everything on the table and decide they don’t want to break up. I don’t think it’s explicitly stated but they have sex and this makes the spirit happy and it disappears. I remember how it was laid out but I got the sense the spirit was their unborn child. The other spirit it turns out was their for the old man or woman not the young spirit at all. I believe by they end every character moves out of that building to start their new chapter in their lives.
submitted by Agreeable-Peak1451 to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 12:38 mcm8279 [Opinion] DEN OF GEEK: "A Doctor Who/Star Trek Crossover Would Be Unforgettable TV!" "But the big issue that any crossover would have to contend with (and also, frankly, the big reason for doing the crossover in the first place) is that the Doctor and Starfleet are natural enemies"
"Starfleet’s Prime Directive, for better or worse, is to never interfere. The Doctor’s prime directive is to never interfere unless he feels like it (which is all the time).
And that’s why it would be good! Watching the Strange New Worlds Enterprise crew scanning stuff with their tricorders while the Doctor wanders around licking things and pushing random buttons, and seeing Pike agonise about the Prime Directive while the Doctor just casually overturns a system of government he dislikes, sounds like real fun."
Chris Farnell (Den of Geek)
Link:
https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/doctor-who-star-trek-crossover-would-make-unforgettable-tv/
DEN OF GEEK: "When Russell T Davies announced he’d be getting back on his throne as the King of Doctor Who, he had lots of new ideas, but also, some that he never got around to. We already know that episode five of this series is based on an idea that was too expensive to film last time.
In his memoistack of emails that got turned into a book, The Writer’s Tale, written with Benjamin Cook, Davies writes “I would so love to see the Doctor on board the Starship Enterprise, puncturing all that Starfleet pomposity with his sheer Doctor-ness.”
He goes on to say that “When we began in 2004, Star Trek: Enterprise was still on air, and I told [producer] Julie [Gardner], in all seriousness, that I wanted to do a Doctor Who/Star Trek crossover. It was on our list of plans, until Star Trek: Enterprise was axed.”
It was an idea that Davies loved so much he went back to it for the Easter special that would eventually become Planet of the Dead, in an episode that would have potentially seen the TARDIS land on a starship Endeavour, with crinkly forehead aliens and all the Trek tropes. But eventually Davies discarded the idea as too much like parody – if you can’t land on the real, actual Enterprise, what’s the point?
But sadly, for Davies’ tenure, there was no real, actual Star Trek anymore. Let’s be honest, even Star Trek: Enterprise wasn’t proper Trek, with its faintly industrial looking, submarine-esque sets and its NASA jumpsuit-inspired costumes, the prequel never really managed to be the iconic Trek show of our imaginations.
But now Davies is back, and so is Star Trek, and not just any Star Trek.
Strange New Worlds is an episodic show whose tone is a mix of drama, comedy, and high science fiction concepts that would gel well with new Doctor Who, and has already demonstrated that it is not above a little bit of crossover horseplay with last season’s Lower Decks overlap.
Strange New Worlds also offers the Enterprise. With all due respect to all other Trek iterations, if you are bringing the actual TARDIS into the world of Trek, you don’t want the Doctor getting to know Saru, or Boimler, or even having a drink in Quark’s Bar, as great as any of those things would be to see. You want the Doctor on the actual Enterprise 1701 no-bloody-A,-B,-C-or-D. You want him meeting Spock, and Uhura, and more-often-than-seems-statistically-likely Kirk. And that is what Strange New Worlds has to offer.
So, before we all run off and start writing our fan fiction of what that episode might be, the question is “Could it actually happen?”
Davies is the first to admit such a crossover, between multiple huge media franchises and everybody’s lawyers and writing teams, would be a logistical nightmare. Talking about it to The Times in 2009, he said “Can you imagine what their script department would have wanted, and what I would have wanted? It would have been the biggest battle.”
[...]
First and foremost – Doctor Who and Star Trek both span half a century of various media, with entire wikis full of lore. For instance, if the Star Trek: Enterprise crossover had taken place, the Doctor might have wondered why Starfleet wasn’t busy trying to repel the Dalek invasion of Earth.
And it would have to do this while also dealing with the fact that Doctor Who has mentioned Star Trek, the television show, quite a few times in continuity. The comic mini-series spends a lot of time dealing with this, concocting an elaborate plot about the merging of universes, but it’s all just a little bit unwieldy for 45 minutes of family entertainment.
But even beyond those logistics, which can be pretty efficiently handwaved away, the big issue with the comic series was that the Doctor and the Enterprise crew quickly become just too damn chummy.
Back in The Writer’s Tale, Davies acknowledges that “In an official crossover, the Doctor would have had to learn that Starfleet is wonderful, but that’s a small price to pay.”
But the big issue that any crossover would have to contend with (and also, frankly, the big reason for doing the crossover in the first place) is that the Doctor and Starfleet are natural enemies.
You want to see how Starfleet would handle the Doctor? There’s plenty of Trek episodes to give you a clue. We don’t just mean the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “A Matter of Time” sees a time-travelling historian turn up on the Enterprise and generate no end of trouble, or the Enterprise episode, “Future Tense” that sees it find a time machine that’s bigger on the inside.
The character that most resembles the Doctor in Star Trek is Q – a (sometimes) exiled member of a stuffy order of beings that transcend space and time who turns up in Star Trek at random times to flirt with the Captain and generally cause trouble.
Meanwhile, if you want to see what Starfleet looks like through a Doctor Who lens, one need only look at the legions of generic space explorers who turn down the Doctor’s help with a curt “Thank you, funnily-dressed weirdo, but as a highly trained team of professionals, I think we can handle this ourselves” before they all get horribly murdered or eaten.
As we’ve already said, the fundamental values of Trek and Who are the same. Exploration, empathy, communication before combat, a desire to learn and enjoy the wonder of the universe. But at its very heart, Star Trek has always been a workplace drama, about professionals who are doing a job. Just as intrinsically, the Doctor is a tourist on a gap year that never ends.
Starfleet’s Prime Directive, for better or worse, is to never interfere. The Doctor’s prime directive is to never interfere unless he feels like it (which is all the time).
And that’s why it would be good! Watching the Strange New Worlds Enterprise crew scanning stuff with their tricorders while the Doctor wanders around licking things and pushing random buttons, and seeing Pike agonise about the Prime Directive while the Doctor just casually overturns a system of government he dislikes, sounds like real fun.
Moreover, Strange New Worlds and the current incarnation of Who are both franchises operating not only at their peak, but also almost in their most platonic forms. Seeing that come together would make an unforgettable hour of TV."
Chris Farnell (Den of Geek)
Link:
https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/doctor-who-star-trek-crossover-would-make-unforgettable-tv/
submitted by mcm8279 to trektalk [link] [comments]
And that’s why it would be good! Watching the Strange New Worlds Enterprise crew scanning stuff with their tricorders while the Doctor wanders around licking things and pushing random buttons, and seeing Pike agonise about the Prime Directive while the Doctor just casually overturns a system of government he dislikes, sounds like real fun."
Chris Farnell (Den of Geek)
Link:
https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/doctor-who-star-trek-crossover-would-make-unforgettable-tv/
DEN OF GEEK: "When Russell T Davies announced he’d be getting back on his throne as the King of Doctor Who, he had lots of new ideas, but also, some that he never got around to. We already know that episode five of this series is based on an idea that was too expensive to film last time.
In his memoistack of emails that got turned into a book, The Writer’s Tale, written with Benjamin Cook, Davies writes “I would so love to see the Doctor on board the Starship Enterprise, puncturing all that Starfleet pomposity with his sheer Doctor-ness.”
He goes on to say that “When we began in 2004, Star Trek: Enterprise was still on air, and I told [producer] Julie [Gardner], in all seriousness, that I wanted to do a Doctor Who/Star Trek crossover. It was on our list of plans, until Star Trek: Enterprise was axed.”
It was an idea that Davies loved so much he went back to it for the Easter special that would eventually become Planet of the Dead, in an episode that would have potentially seen the TARDIS land on a starship Endeavour, with crinkly forehead aliens and all the Trek tropes. But eventually Davies discarded the idea as too much like parody – if you can’t land on the real, actual Enterprise, what’s the point?
But sadly, for Davies’ tenure, there was no real, actual Star Trek anymore. Let’s be honest, even Star Trek: Enterprise wasn’t proper Trek, with its faintly industrial looking, submarine-esque sets and its NASA jumpsuit-inspired costumes, the prequel never really managed to be the iconic Trek show of our imaginations.
But now Davies is back, and so is Star Trek, and not just any Star Trek.
Strange New Worlds is an episodic show whose tone is a mix of drama, comedy, and high science fiction concepts that would gel well with new Doctor Who, and has already demonstrated that it is not above a little bit of crossover horseplay with last season’s Lower Decks overlap.
Strange New Worlds also offers the Enterprise. With all due respect to all other Trek iterations, if you are bringing the actual TARDIS into the world of Trek, you don’t want the Doctor getting to know Saru, or Boimler, or even having a drink in Quark’s Bar, as great as any of those things would be to see. You want the Doctor on the actual Enterprise 1701 no-bloody-A,-B,-C-or-D. You want him meeting Spock, and Uhura, and more-often-than-seems-statistically-likely Kirk. And that is what Strange New Worlds has to offer.
So, before we all run off and start writing our fan fiction of what that episode might be, the question is “Could it actually happen?”
Davies is the first to admit such a crossover, between multiple huge media franchises and everybody’s lawyers and writing teams, would be a logistical nightmare. Talking about it to The Times in 2009, he said “Can you imagine what their script department would have wanted, and what I would have wanted? It would have been the biggest battle.”
[...]
First and foremost – Doctor Who and Star Trek both span half a century of various media, with entire wikis full of lore. For instance, if the Star Trek: Enterprise crossover had taken place, the Doctor might have wondered why Starfleet wasn’t busy trying to repel the Dalek invasion of Earth.
And it would have to do this while also dealing with the fact that Doctor Who has mentioned Star Trek, the television show, quite a few times in continuity. The comic mini-series spends a lot of time dealing with this, concocting an elaborate plot about the merging of universes, but it’s all just a little bit unwieldy for 45 minutes of family entertainment.
But even beyond those logistics, which can be pretty efficiently handwaved away, the big issue with the comic series was that the Doctor and the Enterprise crew quickly become just too damn chummy.
Back in The Writer’s Tale, Davies acknowledges that “In an official crossover, the Doctor would have had to learn that Starfleet is wonderful, but that’s a small price to pay.”
But the big issue that any crossover would have to contend with (and also, frankly, the big reason for doing the crossover in the first place) is that the Doctor and Starfleet are natural enemies.
You want to see how Starfleet would handle the Doctor? There’s plenty of Trek episodes to give you a clue. We don’t just mean the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “A Matter of Time” sees a time-travelling historian turn up on the Enterprise and generate no end of trouble, or the Enterprise episode, “Future Tense” that sees it find a time machine that’s bigger on the inside.
The character that most resembles the Doctor in Star Trek is Q – a (sometimes) exiled member of a stuffy order of beings that transcend space and time who turns up in Star Trek at random times to flirt with the Captain and generally cause trouble.
Meanwhile, if you want to see what Starfleet looks like through a Doctor Who lens, one need only look at the legions of generic space explorers who turn down the Doctor’s help with a curt “Thank you, funnily-dressed weirdo, but as a highly trained team of professionals, I think we can handle this ourselves” before they all get horribly murdered or eaten.
As we’ve already said, the fundamental values of Trek and Who are the same. Exploration, empathy, communication before combat, a desire to learn and enjoy the wonder of the universe. But at its very heart, Star Trek has always been a workplace drama, about professionals who are doing a job. Just as intrinsically, the Doctor is a tourist on a gap year that never ends.
Starfleet’s Prime Directive, for better or worse, is to never interfere. The Doctor’s prime directive is to never interfere unless he feels like it (which is all the time).
And that’s why it would be good! Watching the Strange New Worlds Enterprise crew scanning stuff with their tricorders while the Doctor wanders around licking things and pushing random buttons, and seeing Pike agonise about the Prime Directive while the Doctor just casually overturns a system of government he dislikes, sounds like real fun.
Moreover, Strange New Worlds and the current incarnation of Who are both franchises operating not only at their peak, but also almost in their most platonic forms. Seeing that come together would make an unforgettable hour of TV."
Chris Farnell (Den of Geek)
Link:
https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/doctor-who-star-trek-crossover-would-make-unforgettable-tv/
2024.05.15 12:38 LevelUniversity4743 My Thoughts Are Split And I Really Need Some Help…
I have been struggling with my sexual orientation for a couple years now, and just recently the idea of me possible being trans has popped into my head. As of posting this, I am a possibly bi, pan, or gay male (still struggling with sexual interest). I currently have a boyfriend as of posting this, and I'm absolutely petrified how he will react when, or if I tell him who I really am, because he has no interest at all with females. I have a few trans friends at the minute and I've been asking around for some guidance, advice, and personal experience from them. Though they have been helpful, and if its not too much to ask, I would like to ask some of you wonderful folks for your advice, or personal experiences with becoming trans. And also how did you open up to your parents about the news, i was planning on talking to my parents, but that was before I thought that i might be trans. Thank you kindly!
submitted by LevelUniversity4743 to AskLGBT [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 12:31 LevelUniversity4743 [Coming Out] My Thoughts Are Split, And I Really Need Some Help…
I have been struggling with my sexual orientation for a couple years now, and just recently the idea of me possible being trans has popped into my head. As of posting this, I am a possibly bi, pan, or gay male (still struggling with sexual interest). I currently have a boyfriend as of posting this, and I'm absolutely petrified how he will react when, or if I tell him who I really am, because he has no interest at all with females. I have a few trans friends at the minute and I've been asking around for some guidance, advice, and personal experience from them. Though they have been helpful, and if its not too much to ask, I would like to ask some of you wonderful folks for your advice, or personal experiences with becoming trans. And also how did you open up to your parents about the news, i was planning on talking to my parents, but that was before I thought that i might be trans. Thank you kindly!
submitted by LevelUniversity4743 to LGBTeens [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 12:27 NubianNarrator Men have issues washing!
WIBTA for breaking up with my bf because he doesn't wash his butt?
I recently learned that my boyfriend does not wash his butt in the shower. We were taking a shower together and I noticed that he applied soap in his hand and gently rubbed his hand over his body. He said that he uses his hand to shower and not a loofa, washcloth, etc.
I also noticed that he didn't wash his butt. He said that when he's in the shower the water rinses over his butt and that's how he washes it.
I tried to be understanding as maybe his parents never taught him how to properly shower. I told him he needed to open his cheeks and wash in the crack. I thought we had come to an understanding that he would do so.
That all happened on Saturday. Now it is Tuesday and I've asked him if he has washed his butt since that conversation we had. He said no that he thought it was nasty to stick his hand in there to wash it. This time I am starting to distance myself from the relationship. IMO he is a grown man that doesn't practice basic hygiene. In his opinion, he needs time to get comfortable with the idea of it.
I can't tell if i'm being too harsh on him or if my wanting to end things is justified. Do I throw away the best partner I've ever had over this?
THIS IS NOT MY CONTENT. I POSTED IT HERE FOR OUR CONSIDERATION.
submitted by NubianNarrator to BurbNBougie [link] [comments]
I recently learned that my boyfriend does not wash his butt in the shower. We were taking a shower together and I noticed that he applied soap in his hand and gently rubbed his hand over his body. He said that he uses his hand to shower and not a loofa, washcloth, etc.
I also noticed that he didn't wash his butt. He said that when he's in the shower the water rinses over his butt and that's how he washes it.
I tried to be understanding as maybe his parents never taught him how to properly shower. I told him he needed to open his cheeks and wash in the crack. I thought we had come to an understanding that he would do so.
That all happened on Saturday. Now it is Tuesday and I've asked him if he has washed his butt since that conversation we had. He said no that he thought it was nasty to stick his hand in there to wash it. This time I am starting to distance myself from the relationship. IMO he is a grown man that doesn't practice basic hygiene. In his opinion, he needs time to get comfortable with the idea of it.
I can't tell if i'm being too harsh on him or if my wanting to end things is justified. Do I throw away the best partner I've ever had over this?
THIS IS NOT MY CONTENT. I POSTED IT HERE FOR OUR CONSIDERATION.
2024.05.15 12:27 mcm8279 [TOS Trivia] SlashFilm: "Star Trek's Infamous Spock's Brain Episode Was A Sneaky Dig At NBC Itself - or perhaps Gene Roddenberry himself — who were all taking the show too seriously."
SLASHFILM: "[...] "Spock's Brain" was directed by Marc Daniels, and he is not particularly proud. In the oral history book "Captains' Logs: The Unauthorized Complete Trek Voyages" edited by Mark A. Altman and Edward Gross, Daniels and longtime Trek writer David Gerrold talked about "Spock's Brain" and they concluded that the episode was meant to function as a wry satire, a goose to the serious-minded NBC execs — or perhaps Gene Roddenberry himself — who were all taking the show too seriously. William Shatner also noted the episode's symbolism in his 2009 autobiography "Up Till Now." Surely, Shatner thought, something was being stated outright in a story about a machine searching for a brain.
Daniels noted that the first draft of the "Spock's Brain" teleplay left Spock on the Enterprise while the other characters located his missing brain. Daniels was the one who decided to turn Spock into a mechanical zombie who came along. "Then the concern was whether or not he would look like a zombie walking around. Thankfully Leonard was able to pull it off." And, yes, Nimoy wasn't a stiff-armed zombie, although he did still look a little silly.
And, according to Gerrold, the silliness might have been the point. Gerrold suspected that the episode's writer, Gene L. Coon (credited as Lee Cronin) was trying to confront Gene Roddenberry's tendency to take "Star Trek" seriously to the point of it being no fun. Gerrold posited:
Gerrold felt that Coon definitely would have tried something that playful, saying: "I think Gene L. Coon had that kind of sense of humor to do that kind of impish stuff. He had an irreverent sense of humor, and I think he wanted to poke 'Star Trek' because someone was taking it too seriously. " Possibly Roddenberry, but also possibly the NBC higher-ups. It's okay to have fun. "Maybe it was his way of not buying into it," Gerrold said.
Shatner's memories of "Spock's Brain," meanwhile, were an indicator of the show's suffering. He recalled that "Star Trek" was moved to a Friday 10 p.m. timeslot, which is death for any series. Shatner was, at the very least, jocular about the plight, writing:
Link:
https://www.slashfilm.com/1574792/star-trek-spocks-brain-attack-network-management/
submitted by mcm8279 to trektalk [link] [comments]
Daniels noted that the first draft of the "Spock's Brain" teleplay left Spock on the Enterprise while the other characters located his missing brain. Daniels was the one who decided to turn Spock into a mechanical zombie who came along. "Then the concern was whether or not he would look like a zombie walking around. Thankfully Leonard was able to pull it off." And, yes, Nimoy wasn't a stiff-armed zombie, although he did still look a little silly.
And, according to Gerrold, the silliness might have been the point. Gerrold suspected that the episode's writer, Gene L. Coon (credited as Lee Cronin) was trying to confront Gene Roddenberry's tendency to take "Star Trek" seriously to the point of it being no fun. Gerrold posited:
"I suspect [...] that 'Spock's Brain' was Gene L. Coon's way of thumbing his nose at Roddenberry or something. If not Roddenberry, he was thumbing his nose at how seriously the show was taking itself. I suspect what had happened is that they were a little panic-stricken because there weren't a lot of scripts to shoot. The history of 'Star Trek' is management by crisis. I think somebody called up Gene L. Coon and said, 'We need a script in a hurry, can you do it?' And he did it under a pen name, and I don't think he deliberately set out to write that show seriously."As such, Gerrold laid out what he suspected was Coon's thought process: "I don't think there's any way you can take that episode seriously. You've got to take it as a joke. What's the stupidest science fiction idea to do? What if somebody stole Spock's brain?" This was a premise that could have been cribbed from a low-budget sci-fi horror thriller from 1953.
Gerrold felt that Coon definitely would have tried something that playful, saying: "I think Gene L. Coon had that kind of sense of humor to do that kind of impish stuff. He had an irreverent sense of humor, and I think he wanted to poke 'Star Trek' because someone was taking it too seriously. " Possibly Roddenberry, but also possibly the NBC higher-ups. It's okay to have fun. "Maybe it was his way of not buying into it," Gerrold said.
Shatner's memories of "Spock's Brain," meanwhile, were an indicator of the show's suffering. He recalled that "Star Trek" was moved to a Friday 10 p.m. timeslot, which is death for any series. Shatner was, at the very least, jocular about the plight, writing:
"Our first show that third season might have been a tribute to the NBC executives who so mishandled this show: it was about a society in desperate need of a brain. It was entitled 'Spock's Brain' and took place on Stardate 5431.4. I don't know what day of the week that would have bee, but I can assure you it was not a Friday night at ten o'clock. Because even aliens are busy Friday nights at ten o'clock."Shatner also tells a cute (made-up) story of how Nimoy was lying on his operating gurney during the episode's final surgery scene, only to open his eyes in surprise, and, in a panic, yell "Friday night at 10 o'clock??" "Perhaps he didn't," Shatner impishly wrote, "But it was true, of course." [...]"
Link:
https://www.slashfilm.com/1574792/star-trek-spocks-brain-attack-network-management/
2024.05.15 12:04 Throwaway_Zenin Need some advice on our relationship.
Before I get things started, I’d like to say that I(22M) am from a rather conservative country, I am a virgin, and this is my first relationship.
It’s been around 6 months since I started dating my 22F girlfriend, we have a 1000km distance, but we’re both students and are not financially independent yet. I just needed some advice as I just feel like this keeps going around my head and I’d like to articulate it better for myself while receiving advice from the more experienced people on this subreddit.
To start things off, This isn’t my girlfriend’s first relationship and she’s been in relationships for a while now, she started dating somewhat young (for my country at least, or maybe I have been too closed off to realize) and she said she’s had sex from a year or two and has had a few ex-boyfriends she’s mentioned to me before whom she slept with and she’s also had a few friends with benefits (I found out about this later)..
I knew she wasn’t a virgin before we started dating and It does not matter to me if she wasn’t a virgin, because she’s dating me and choosing me and I do have some self-confidence and am a bit secure with who I am to let it bother me much.
I love her a lot and would love if this relationship lasted a long time and even hope to marry her and build a home with her someday.
Around 2 months back, she told me that she did not want to sleep with me till we got married and when I first heard this, I was quite taken aback, especially since I didn’t think she cared much about that due to her history and I don’t care much about it either (I’ve had my share of mental issues and felt that it wouldn’t be right to date anyone with those level of issues, so decided to not date anyone till I met her..).
This turned into a somewhat large argument and we were supposed to have a few days free and were planning on talking and video calling for those days, but we ended up arguing a bit, I was just feeling very mentally messed up and trying to process everything and I did get a bit cold and kind of withdrew into myself.
When I asked her for the reason, she said she didn’t know and then later said that she wanted a serious relationship with me and “I’m not like her playboy ex-boyfriends”and that she “doesn’t want to introduce me as a person she slept with to her parents” and wants to “respect them by not sleeping with me” while these ideas aren’t too uncommon amongst the younger generation of my country, I didn’t think she would have such thoughts because then why do it with a few others and then not with me? (I don’t think I am entitled to sleep with her, nor do I feel it’s my right or anything like that, I wouldn’t want her to do anything with me if she doesn’t wish to, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I forced someone into having sex with me when they don’t want to.)
When we went further into this discussion, she asked me if sex was something so important to me and if I just wanted her for her body and not for who she is and that kind of things, which made little sense to me, as why would I be in a LDR if I just wanted sex?
Anyways, after a while, she kept apologizing and was like if you want to we can do it. (and that wasn’t the conclusion I wanted, I just wanted her to tell me some real reason why she doesn’t want to do anything with me, I forgot to mention, but she called our relationship an online one and that hurt me quite a bit (she later said that she didn’t mean it that way and meant it as a LDR).
After a day or two, I kind of decided to just not think about it, because she just kept apologizing and I felt like I was hurting her by continuing the topic.
A few weeks after she talks about the house of some guy she was “more than friends with” I didn’t know about this before and thought she only had sex in relationships (again, my country is quite conservative and maybe I am too closed off** to have had considered this before) and that kind of got to me, because whenever she said anything about people wanting her only for her body and that kind of stuff, I kind of felt like she was coerced into sleeping with her ex-boyfriends (I understand that I might have tried to rationalize what was going on and made up stories), and imo a friends with benefits is where you just have sex and it’s quite consensual, to say the least.
Now, a week back, I just wanted to bring this topic up again and I kind of messed up with the timing as we both were quite tired and I hadn’t slept properly in a while.. at the same time, I was feeling a bit guilty because I did fantasize about sleeping with her when we met even though I agreed to her boundary.
She told me she was confused and why I still thought about this topic and stuff like that and she asked me if I “didn’t like anything else about her apart from her body” and “what would I do if she had any physical deformities and she couldn’t have sex with me”( she said this when we first spoke on this too), she then said that she isn’t a touch person like I am and me thinking about such things out of the blue is quite strange to her.
All this has kind of led me to feel like I am ugly (which I don’t feel anymore, apart from the occasional intrusive thought) and whether she doesn’t want to sleep with me because she thinks I’m not the right person for her or maybe she thinks I am not good enough and so on...
She later said that she doesn’t want to have sex because she hates her body and how she looks and that she is carrying trauma from her past relationships because her ex-boyfriends slept with her and left her, I obviously understand this.. till a few days later she again said that we wouldn’t have sex till marriage. So I don’t know what’s really going on in her mind. Is she uncomfortable with me?
I understand that this might be a “Me” problem or something I am doing wrong or just overthinking and over analysing things and ending up with a wrong conclusion. I’m just confused I guess.
TLDR: My long-distance girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me even though she has had sex before (She later (after a month, when asked) said it is because she hates her body*). I felt hurt by this and it makes me feel very unwanted. I love her and I want to be with her, but I keep thinking about this and it’s making me lose my self-esteem and confidence as I feel like I am not good enough.
*I felt not including this in the TLDR would make it seem as though I am only telling my side of the story
**by closed off I mean I’m quite introverted and just stay home a lot and my parents are somewhat strict too (her parents are much stricter btw)..
I don’t know what I should do, I love her and I understand where she’s coming from, but this is kind of eating at me, whenever I feel low or am having a slightly bad mental health day my feelings of being not good enough or not the right person or that I am not wanted keeps creeping back up and starts shaving away at my self-esteem and the more I think about it the worse I feel.
Should I just stop thinking about this and pretend everything is okay with me? Am I not understanding enough? Do you think I can do something better? Should I talk about this topic again? (my girlfriend has exams for a few weeks now, so I would most likely hold off the topic until then, at the same time I might go to see her in June and I don’t know how that would work if we have such a conversation before this.)
submitted by Throwaway_Zenin to LongDistance [link] [comments]
It’s been around 6 months since I started dating my 22F girlfriend, we have a 1000km distance, but we’re both students and are not financially independent yet. I just needed some advice as I just feel like this keeps going around my head and I’d like to articulate it better for myself while receiving advice from the more experienced people on this subreddit.
To start things off, This isn’t my girlfriend’s first relationship and she’s been in relationships for a while now, she started dating somewhat young (for my country at least, or maybe I have been too closed off to realize) and she said she’s had sex from a year or two and has had a few ex-boyfriends she’s mentioned to me before whom she slept with and she’s also had a few friends with benefits (I found out about this later)..
I knew she wasn’t a virgin before we started dating and It does not matter to me if she wasn’t a virgin, because she’s dating me and choosing me and I do have some self-confidence and am a bit secure with who I am to let it bother me much.
I love her a lot and would love if this relationship lasted a long time and even hope to marry her and build a home with her someday.
Around 2 months back, she told me that she did not want to sleep with me till we got married and when I first heard this, I was quite taken aback, especially since I didn’t think she cared much about that due to her history and I don’t care much about it either (I’ve had my share of mental issues and felt that it wouldn’t be right to date anyone with those level of issues, so decided to not date anyone till I met her..).
This turned into a somewhat large argument and we were supposed to have a few days free and were planning on talking and video calling for those days, but we ended up arguing a bit, I was just feeling very mentally messed up and trying to process everything and I did get a bit cold and kind of withdrew into myself.
When I asked her for the reason, she said she didn’t know and then later said that she wanted a serious relationship with me and “I’m not like her playboy ex-boyfriends”and that she “doesn’t want to introduce me as a person she slept with to her parents” and wants to “respect them by not sleeping with me” while these ideas aren’t too uncommon amongst the younger generation of my country, I didn’t think she would have such thoughts because then why do it with a few others and then not with me? (I don’t think I am entitled to sleep with her, nor do I feel it’s my right or anything like that, I wouldn’t want her to do anything with me if she doesn’t wish to, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I forced someone into having sex with me when they don’t want to.)
When we went further into this discussion, she asked me if sex was something so important to me and if I just wanted her for her body and not for who she is and that kind of things, which made little sense to me, as why would I be in a LDR if I just wanted sex?
Anyways, after a while, she kept apologizing and was like if you want to we can do it. (and that wasn’t the conclusion I wanted, I just wanted her to tell me some real reason why she doesn’t want to do anything with me, I forgot to mention, but she called our relationship an online one and that hurt me quite a bit (she later said that she didn’t mean it that way and meant it as a LDR).
After a day or two, I kind of decided to just not think about it, because she just kept apologizing and I felt like I was hurting her by continuing the topic.
A few weeks after she talks about the house of some guy she was “more than friends with” I didn’t know about this before and thought she only had sex in relationships (again, my country is quite conservative and maybe I am too closed off** to have had considered this before) and that kind of got to me, because whenever she said anything about people wanting her only for her body and that kind of stuff, I kind of felt like she was coerced into sleeping with her ex-boyfriends (I understand that I might have tried to rationalize what was going on and made up stories), and imo a friends with benefits is where you just have sex and it’s quite consensual, to say the least.
Now, a week back, I just wanted to bring this topic up again and I kind of messed up with the timing as we both were quite tired and I hadn’t slept properly in a while.. at the same time, I was feeling a bit guilty because I did fantasize about sleeping with her when we met even though I agreed to her boundary.
She told me she was confused and why I still thought about this topic and stuff like that and she asked me if I “didn’t like anything else about her apart from her body” and “what would I do if she had any physical deformities and she couldn’t have sex with me”( she said this when we first spoke on this too), she then said that she isn’t a touch person like I am and me thinking about such things out of the blue is quite strange to her.
All this has kind of led me to feel like I am ugly (which I don’t feel anymore, apart from the occasional intrusive thought) and whether she doesn’t want to sleep with me because she thinks I’m not the right person for her or maybe she thinks I am not good enough and so on...
She later said that she doesn’t want to have sex because she hates her body and how she looks and that she is carrying trauma from her past relationships because her ex-boyfriends slept with her and left her, I obviously understand this.. till a few days later she again said that we wouldn’t have sex till marriage. So I don’t know what’s really going on in her mind. Is she uncomfortable with me?
I understand that this might be a “Me” problem or something I am doing wrong or just overthinking and over analysing things and ending up with a wrong conclusion. I’m just confused I guess.
TLDR: My long-distance girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me even though she has had sex before (She later (after a month, when asked) said it is because she hates her body*). I felt hurt by this and it makes me feel very unwanted. I love her and I want to be with her, but I keep thinking about this and it’s making me lose my self-esteem and confidence as I feel like I am not good enough.
*I felt not including this in the TLDR would make it seem as though I am only telling my side of the story
**by closed off I mean I’m quite introverted and just stay home a lot and my parents are somewhat strict too (her parents are much stricter btw)..
I don’t know what I should do, I love her and I understand where she’s coming from, but this is kind of eating at me, whenever I feel low or am having a slightly bad mental health day my feelings of being not good enough or not the right person or that I am not wanted keeps creeping back up and starts shaving away at my self-esteem and the more I think about it the worse I feel.
Should I just stop thinking about this and pretend everything is okay with me? Am I not understanding enough? Do you think I can do something better? Should I talk about this topic again? (my girlfriend has exams for a few weeks now, so I would most likely hold off the topic until then, at the same time I might go to see her in June and I don’t know how that would work if we have such a conversation before this.)
2024.05.15 11:57 abyssaI_watcher I'm having a really hard time moving on from my mental unstable parent.
Noteable people is 18-23M me, 35-38F mother, 8-12F sister, ages aren't a exact for identity purposes. And apologies for any bad grammar, it was never my thing.
So first to preface this by saying yes I know I need to move on I just don't know how without creating more resentment towards my mother than there already is.
So to give context, we live in a government apartment complex (comes into play later) in Oregon. We got it when I 7th grade-8 grade range in middle school. We have been living here ever since. There's been issues here and there like all families, nothing to intense or out of the norm to be of concern or create resentment between us in terms of fights or the such.
Now where the problem comes in first off, my mother has a lot of mental issues. She's throughout all my life has been depressed plus severe anxiety. She said a lot of it stims from having me young and taking care of me. She also due to her young age having me has felt guilty for not providing enough. Which she is very defensive about so throughout my life. Often feeling like I can't say anything without making her get defensive (not angry like crying), so I've by and large kept quiet and just went along with it as it made me feel bad.
This with the fact that I had not father growing up, she tried to basically find replacements. Replacemens looks back I didn't really need, as my grandpa and grandma already shoulder that burden and did a wonderful job at it. This created for my mom the reason to find a boyfriend and stick with them because in her name it was for me to have a father figure so to say. Problem comes, she rushed into theses relationships while being young. So obviously they turned out to be douchebags behind the scenes and bare medium above the table. But she never split from them, only after a really long time due to her attachment issues.
I think u get the idea, now fast forward until roughly a year after COVID started, at the time I believe I was starting my Jr year maybe a little ways into jr year. She quit her job as her job was giving her no hours. This I do not blame at all. But during this time she got a new boyfriend. Same story as the rest, this guy wasn't a full on douchebag but wasn't a good guy either. He kinda was just whatever. He had money as he was big into crypto when that boomed. This with her attachment issue/plus no job created a dependentsy. Since she hasn't gotten a job yet to time of this post.
Now the real problem and why I can't move on. The boyfriend she was dependent on and her broke up. Since she doesn't work a job yet she's not making any money obviously. Oregon in the government apartments we live in it's based on rent, we don't make money we don't need to pay rent. Along with using food stamps. For that reason if she was to get a job rent would go up, food stamps would go down and unless she's working a lot of hours it simply lvls out. That's her reasoning for not getting a job. The rules apply just the same way to me.
Now in normal circumstances I would just find a job, work, pay the rent then move out. But I have a sister, who I getting the short end of the stick. On one hand my mother has said quite literally in the past her job was raising me and as I'm a adult she believes she's finished that job and gets a break.
Tensions between my sister and my mother isn't in the best spot to say the least. My sister isn't good at hiding her emotions especially with puberty hitting her, even tho she trys. this in turn makes my mother's anxiety sky rocket and makes her sad constantly. This makes my sister feel guilty. I try to mediate best I can but as the past with me always keeping quiet, it's let go when it affects others I care about. I never really cared about anyone really in the past so it's never happened. This makes my mother feel like both of us are against her and out to get her. So even worse than before it feels like both me and my sister are on egg shells.
This is also a minor one but relevant none the less. My sister wanted a cat for herself as I had my own. I said it was a bad idea at the time because we had fleas and should deal with that first. My mother said it was fine she was gonna handle it and what not. I said OK but I don't wanna have any responsibilities connected to this animal. Come to today his 1.5 years old and has issues related to fleas as they where never delt with.
So my sister is one reason I have a hard time moving on. The other is I don't wanna feel responsible for both my mother and my sister and paying rent for them while so young myself. Knowing myself well enough I can acknowledge that it will make any and all my resentment blow over terribly for my mother. As the power dynamic will be swapped for me and any eggshells that I would tip toe around, I never will anymore. Any and all guilt shes felt will be multiplied to high. Again making my sister feel bad cuz that girl won't even hurt a fly. So on the one hand I wanna take car of my sister and be there for her, the other hand I don't wanna be near my mother and both in combination I feel is holding me back.
Btw before u ask I've been asking my mother to see a therapist for years. So much so I made it a birthday wish for her to simply make a appointment and that's all I asked for her. She still hasn't but I don't know how to bring it up without stepping on the eggshells. I do once in a while but she get emotional.
Tldr, I don't know how to move on, with taking on so much responsibility I shouldn't have imo, not wanting my sister to get screwed over in the process, single mother that has mental problems that's effecting the whole family.
submitted by abyssaI_watcher to offmychest [link] [comments]
So first to preface this by saying yes I know I need to move on I just don't know how without creating more resentment towards my mother than there already is.
So to give context, we live in a government apartment complex (comes into play later) in Oregon. We got it when I 7th grade-8 grade range in middle school. We have been living here ever since. There's been issues here and there like all families, nothing to intense or out of the norm to be of concern or create resentment between us in terms of fights or the such.
Now where the problem comes in first off, my mother has a lot of mental issues. She's throughout all my life has been depressed plus severe anxiety. She said a lot of it stims from having me young and taking care of me. She also due to her young age having me has felt guilty for not providing enough. Which she is very defensive about so throughout my life. Often feeling like I can't say anything without making her get defensive (not angry like crying), so I've by and large kept quiet and just went along with it as it made me feel bad.
This with the fact that I had not father growing up, she tried to basically find replacements. Replacemens looks back I didn't really need, as my grandpa and grandma already shoulder that burden and did a wonderful job at it. This created for my mom the reason to find a boyfriend and stick with them because in her name it was for me to have a father figure so to say. Problem comes, she rushed into theses relationships while being young. So obviously they turned out to be douchebags behind the scenes and bare medium above the table. But she never split from them, only after a really long time due to her attachment issues.
I think u get the idea, now fast forward until roughly a year after COVID started, at the time I believe I was starting my Jr year maybe a little ways into jr year. She quit her job as her job was giving her no hours. This I do not blame at all. But during this time she got a new boyfriend. Same story as the rest, this guy wasn't a full on douchebag but wasn't a good guy either. He kinda was just whatever. He had money as he was big into crypto when that boomed. This with her attachment issue/plus no job created a dependentsy. Since she hasn't gotten a job yet to time of this post.
Now the real problem and why I can't move on. The boyfriend she was dependent on and her broke up. Since she doesn't work a job yet she's not making any money obviously. Oregon in the government apartments we live in it's based on rent, we don't make money we don't need to pay rent. Along with using food stamps. For that reason if she was to get a job rent would go up, food stamps would go down and unless she's working a lot of hours it simply lvls out. That's her reasoning for not getting a job. The rules apply just the same way to me.
Now in normal circumstances I would just find a job, work, pay the rent then move out. But I have a sister, who I getting the short end of the stick. On one hand my mother has said quite literally in the past her job was raising me and as I'm a adult she believes she's finished that job and gets a break.
Tensions between my sister and my mother isn't in the best spot to say the least. My sister isn't good at hiding her emotions especially with puberty hitting her, even tho she trys. this in turn makes my mother's anxiety sky rocket and makes her sad constantly. This makes my sister feel guilty. I try to mediate best I can but as the past with me always keeping quiet, it's let go when it affects others I care about. I never really cared about anyone really in the past so it's never happened. This makes my mother feel like both of us are against her and out to get her. So even worse than before it feels like both me and my sister are on egg shells.
This is also a minor one but relevant none the less. My sister wanted a cat for herself as I had my own. I said it was a bad idea at the time because we had fleas and should deal with that first. My mother said it was fine she was gonna handle it and what not. I said OK but I don't wanna have any responsibilities connected to this animal. Come to today his 1.5 years old and has issues related to fleas as they where never delt with.
So my sister is one reason I have a hard time moving on. The other is I don't wanna feel responsible for both my mother and my sister and paying rent for them while so young myself. Knowing myself well enough I can acknowledge that it will make any and all my resentment blow over terribly for my mother. As the power dynamic will be swapped for me and any eggshells that I would tip toe around, I never will anymore. Any and all guilt shes felt will be multiplied to high. Again making my sister feel bad cuz that girl won't even hurt a fly. So on the one hand I wanna take car of my sister and be there for her, the other hand I don't wanna be near my mother and both in combination I feel is holding me back.
Btw before u ask I've been asking my mother to see a therapist for years. So much so I made it a birthday wish for her to simply make a appointment and that's all I asked for her. She still hasn't but I don't know how to bring it up without stepping on the eggshells. I do once in a while but she get emotional.
Tldr, I don't know how to move on, with taking on so much responsibility I shouldn't have imo, not wanting my sister to get screwed over in the process, single mother that has mental problems that's effecting the whole family.
2024.05.15 11:46 thanarealnobody My friend is mad at me for talking about antidepressants around her boyfriend
Okay, to cut to the chase:
I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend. They’ve been together for 6 years.
We were all just casually talking around the table and I was talking about an ex of mine who said that Xanax made it hard for him to orgasm. (No idea how we got on this subject but it happened naturally, I didn’t bring it up out of nowhere)
And my friends boyfriend said “wow that’s so weird”
And I said “well it kinda makes sense because I’ve heard antidepressants can kill your sex drive”
Then he turned to my friend and said “oh yeah, you have that problem, don’t you?”
And my friend was really uncomfortable and later was angry at me for bringing it up.
Now she’s mad at me but I don’t know what I can say.
submitted by thanarealnobody to Advice [link] [comments]
I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend. They’ve been together for 6 years.
We were all just casually talking around the table and I was talking about an ex of mine who said that Xanax made it hard for him to orgasm. (No idea how we got on this subject but it happened naturally, I didn’t bring it up out of nowhere)
And my friends boyfriend said “wow that’s so weird”
And I said “well it kinda makes sense because I’ve heard antidepressants can kill your sex drive”
Then he turned to my friend and said “oh yeah, you have that problem, don’t you?”
And my friend was really uncomfortable and later was angry at me for bringing it up.
Now she’s mad at me but I don’t know what I can say.
2024.05.15 11:36 Living-Grapefruit400 A lil sumthing before I plunge myself for finals
Anywho- some may or may not know me as that ENTP who posted some art on ISTJ and ENTP, 16p x Boo ENTP and the ISTP x INTP. For those who have requested art and are patiently (or not-) waiting for it. I'm sorry but you have to wait a bit much longer because I'm doing my finals right now so the drawings will have to be postponed. ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡
Now carrying on. As I said in a previous post, I wanted to make designs of my own MBTI avatars based on their dominant functions. Here is what I got so far:
(M) = Male, (F) = Female
★ = Captain, * = Co-captain (not set in stone because I think each type could be their own leaders. Tell me whether I should keep it or not)
T h e F u t u r i s t s :
• Ne Ti - ENTP "The Visionary" (M) ★
• Ne Fi - ENFP "The Champion" (F) *
• Ni Te - INTJ "The Mastermind" (M)
• Ni Fe - INFJ "The Counselor" (F)
T h e R e a l i s t s :
• Se Ti - ESTP "The Dynamo" (M) ★
• Se Fi - ESFP "The Performer" (F)
• Si Te - ISTJ "The Inspector" (M) *
• Si Fe - ISFJ "The Protector" (F)
T h e S t r a t e g i s t s :
• Te Ni - ENTJ - "The Commander" (M) ★
• Te Si - ESTJ - "The Supervisor" (M) *
• Ti Ne - INTP - "The Architect" (M)
• Ti Se - ISTP - "The Craftsperson" (M)
T h e I d e a l i s t s :
• Fe Ni - ENFJ - "The Teacher" (F) ★
• Fe Si - ESFJ - "The Provider" (F) *
• Fi Ne - INFP - "The Healer" (F)
• Fi Se - ISFP - "The Composer" (F)
Notes:
submitted by Living-Grapefruit400 to mbti [link] [comments]
Now carrying on. As I said in a previous post, I wanted to make designs of my own MBTI avatars based on their dominant functions. Here is what I got so far:
(M) = Male, (F) = Female
★ = Captain, * = Co-captain (not set in stone because I think each type could be their own leaders. Tell me whether I should keep it or not)
T h e F u t u r i s t s :
• Ne Ti - ENTP "The Visionary" (M) ★
• Ne Fi - ENFP "The Champion" (F) *
• Ni Te - INTJ "The Mastermind" (M)
• Ni Fe - INFJ "The Counselor" (F)
T h e R e a l i s t s :
• Se Ti - ESTP "The Dynamo" (M) ★
• Se Fi - ESFP "The Performer" (F)
• Si Te - ISTJ "The Inspector" (M) *
• Si Fe - ISFJ "The Protector" (F)
T h e S t r a t e g i s t s :
• Te Ni - ENTJ - "The Commander" (M) ★
• Te Si - ESTJ - "The Supervisor" (M) *
• Ti Ne - INTP - "The Architect" (M)
• Ti Se - ISTP - "The Craftsperson" (M)
T h e I d e a l i s t s :
• Fe Ni - ENFJ - "The Teacher" (F) ★
• Fe Si - ESFJ - "The Provider" (F) *
• Fi Ne - INFP - "The Healer" (F)
• Fi Se - ISFP - "The Composer" (F)
Notes:
- Their color scheme would be based on their dominant and auxiliary functions (Have not assigned colors yet).
- This is comprised of some random statistics and websites I saw online and a little help from AI to recommend me some names for each group.
- I will add 1 pet for each group since I didn't wanna deny someone's recommendations and I thought it would be cute imagining 4 of them collaborating in taking care of it. (not decided yet)
- If you want something changed above, you can request for it since I'm opting for a community satisfaction.
- Should I use Cognitivedoodles' cognitive function color scheme? (Recommended from previous post) Or should I not use it since it seemed unoriginal-
- What themes are good for each group? Because I like the idea of how the Diplomats are fantasy themed while the others are different. (I kinda thought of something for the Futurists, it was based on the elements as someone recommended previously- The Futurists would be a band of innovative inventors who make futuristic flying hoverboards (Air Types))
- Should I set their ages to be in college? (It's mostly because I'm inspired by the webtoon "So not my type")
- What pets do you think each group will have?
2024.05.15 11:32 Powerful-Draw9254 Is my (28F) relationship with my boyfriend (27M) doomed?
I'll try and keep this semi condensed.
I 28/F met my boyfriend 27/M when he was on a work contract in the state I live in. 4 months into knowing him, he had to move back across the country to finish his PhD. His last year. Which is obviously something that keeps him busy. He has visited me (and vice versa) every couple of months. And we do talk daily.
Here is where some issues come to play. #1, he recently accepted a post doc position out of the country. For a year, and then will be looking for a second idk where yet. It has me STRESSED. Because it really feels like I'll have to move with him to make the relationship work. But I am chronically unsure of my decisions. And I've had some BAD relationships. So uprooting my safety to move for someone, even in another year is a hard sell for me. Because I'm afraid I'll drop everything and move, to not be a priority. And I have some reasons to believe that. And He has said he wants to move around a bit (I don't), mostly though he has said when he is looking for a permanent position, he's applying everywhere. Which, i realize in his field, it's a rough market. But it's been clear I wouldn't really get a say in where. I understand he has worked incredibly hard to get where he is, but I know I'm going to forever be #2 to his job. I have brought up that concern and always get "scolded" about how "hard he has worked and deserves this". Which IS true. But I wish I was heard on my fears a bit. It's basically I accept it or let him know this isn't for me.
Aside from that, I've been VERY clear from the get go that I will not have kids. I'm scheduled to be surgically sterilized in a few months. He knows this, and is fine with it. But occasionally drops that he isn't ready for kids yet. I'll ask what that means and he insists nothing. That he's neutral about it. Still makes me nervous that it'll become a problem later.
He is a sweet guy and we really do enjoy each other most of the time. But I have a bad gut feeling. And idk if it's legit or if it's my past traumas rearing up as they do. And I don't have a healthy relationship to compare it to. It also doesn't help that I'm in the midst of trying to find a good medication regiment with my psychiatrist right now, so I'm struggling a little more than normal.
I just can't tell if this is a good idea or if I'm looking for an out like I tend to do out of fear. I do care about this man. Opinions?
submitted by Powerful-Draw9254 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I 28/F met my boyfriend 27/M when he was on a work contract in the state I live in. 4 months into knowing him, he had to move back across the country to finish his PhD. His last year. Which is obviously something that keeps him busy. He has visited me (and vice versa) every couple of months. And we do talk daily.
Here is where some issues come to play. #1, he recently accepted a post doc position out of the country. For a year, and then will be looking for a second idk where yet. It has me STRESSED. Because it really feels like I'll have to move with him to make the relationship work. But I am chronically unsure of my decisions. And I've had some BAD relationships. So uprooting my safety to move for someone, even in another year is a hard sell for me. Because I'm afraid I'll drop everything and move, to not be a priority. And I have some reasons to believe that. And He has said he wants to move around a bit (I don't), mostly though he has said when he is looking for a permanent position, he's applying everywhere. Which, i realize in his field, it's a rough market. But it's been clear I wouldn't really get a say in where. I understand he has worked incredibly hard to get where he is, but I know I'm going to forever be #2 to his job. I have brought up that concern and always get "scolded" about how "hard he has worked and deserves this". Which IS true. But I wish I was heard on my fears a bit. It's basically I accept it or let him know this isn't for me.
Aside from that, I've been VERY clear from the get go that I will not have kids. I'm scheduled to be surgically sterilized in a few months. He knows this, and is fine with it. But occasionally drops that he isn't ready for kids yet. I'll ask what that means and he insists nothing. That he's neutral about it. Still makes me nervous that it'll become a problem later.
He is a sweet guy and we really do enjoy each other most of the time. But I have a bad gut feeling. And idk if it's legit or if it's my past traumas rearing up as they do. And I don't have a healthy relationship to compare it to. It also doesn't help that I'm in the midst of trying to find a good medication regiment with my psychiatrist right now, so I'm struggling a little more than normal.
I just can't tell if this is a good idea or if I'm looking for an out like I tend to do out of fear. I do care about this man. Opinions?
2024.05.15 11:21 Aesyar-Lop AITAH for telling my boyfriend who to be friends with?
I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for over two years. Our relationship has been great so far, we built great trust, and we feel happy with each other. However, my bf has a childhood friend, who we will call Andrew. They know each other all the way back from elementary school. According to my bf, Andrew is someone who has been there for him in the good and bad times.
When my bf and I started dating, my bf would tell me how good friend he was, BUT he would also mentioned how there were times where Andrew would be rude to him, show jealousy of his (my bf) success, get upset when my bf would refuse to smok* with him (he has been trying to quit smok**), even told him that our relationship was not going to last, and many other things under that subject. Overall, as a third person, I believe they have a pretty toxic friendship but due to their long friendship my boyfriend never wanted to end things with him. However, that changed when they got into an argument where my bf defended our relationship and decided it was time to cut ties with him. They stopped talking for a few months. During that period my bf told me how he wanted to move on and how he didn’t need that friend in his life. Everything was fine until Andrew began contacting my bf again. At first I was against it. I was upset that after all he went through with Andrew, he was willing to act like nothing happened. He knew I was okay with them talking about their issue and fixing it in order to not hold bitterness with each other. However, he also knew that I didn’t like the idea of them hanging out the way they did before because I believe the same thing will repeat over and over again. He promised me he would not be closed to him the way they once did and that he didn’t need him at all. WELLLL, few days ago I found out he has been meeting up with him in secret and has lied to me about it. I honestly do not know how I feel about it. I do not know if I should let it be since it’s their friendship, or it’s the fact that he has begun to lie to me in order to be with him. I think Andrew is a good friend to him, but I also feel like he is a fake person, and my bf has a very forgiven/kind heart to realize when enough is enough. AITAH for preventing him from being friends with him?
submitted by Aesyar-Lop to AITAH [link] [comments]
When my bf and I started dating, my bf would tell me how good friend he was, BUT he would also mentioned how there were times where Andrew would be rude to him, show jealousy of his (my bf) success, get upset when my bf would refuse to smok* with him (he has been trying to quit smok**), even told him that our relationship was not going to last, and many other things under that subject. Overall, as a third person, I believe they have a pretty toxic friendship but due to their long friendship my boyfriend never wanted to end things with him. However, that changed when they got into an argument where my bf defended our relationship and decided it was time to cut ties with him. They stopped talking for a few months. During that period my bf told me how he wanted to move on and how he didn’t need that friend in his life. Everything was fine until Andrew began contacting my bf again. At first I was against it. I was upset that after all he went through with Andrew, he was willing to act like nothing happened. He knew I was okay with them talking about their issue and fixing it in order to not hold bitterness with each other. However, he also knew that I didn’t like the idea of them hanging out the way they did before because I believe the same thing will repeat over and over again. He promised me he would not be closed to him the way they once did and that he didn’t need him at all. WELLLL, few days ago I found out he has been meeting up with him in secret and has lied to me about it. I honestly do not know how I feel about it. I do not know if I should let it be since it’s their friendship, or it’s the fact that he has begun to lie to me in order to be with him. I think Andrew is a good friend to him, but I also feel like he is a fake person, and my bf has a very forgiven/kind heart to realize when enough is enough. AITAH for preventing him from being friends with him?
2024.05.15 11:05 ThrowRA_Mud6292 I (F24) have been having sexy dreams about a male friend for almost a year now even though I'm in a committed relationship with my boyfriend (M25). What should I do?
I've truly never opened up about this to anyone, but it's driving me insane and I have no idea what to do about it.
I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years now. I've known the friend in question since I was 18, and since being with my current partner he's become one of our mutual friends.
I'm not sure why, but I just keep having the occasional sexy dream about him, and I wake up absolutely reeling from it. It's been happening now for over a year, but the time between them happening is extremely varied. The dreams are never crazy, and usually there's just this overwhelming feeling of sexual tension between us and nothing actually happens. But last night I had one where he was laying on top of me and I kissed him, which is the furthest it's ever gone.
Despite obvious reasons for why last night's dream had me feeling a while bunch of emotions, I'd also gone to bed that night missing my boyfriend like CRAZY so I have no idea why the dream even happened. Nothing ever seems to prompt them and it's like my brain wants to occasionally jumpscare me with them at night.
I've always thought this friend was pretty cool, and I've also anyways felt drawn to him because of his personality. At one point early on in my relationship with my partner I had to cut this friend out because I noticed I was developing a small crush on them, but that was quickly resolved and we've been friends like normal ever since.
All that being said though, I love my current partner. He's my BEST friend, and I think he's absolutely gorgeous and has a wonderful personality. He makes me feel so special and I know he's truly dedicated to our relationship which is all that I could ask for, so this whole situation makes me feel sick.
I've been concerned about the ethics of this whole thing since it started. I'd NEVER make a move on this friend of ours and I feel terrible that I'm even thinking of him that way. It feels like cheating, and I'd be devastated if I found out my partner was having similar dreams about a female friend REPEATEDLY. I've thought that maybe leaving him is the right thing to do but then what would I tell him? "I love you but I have to end the relationship because I keep having fantastical dreams about our buddy "blank" who hasn't the slightest idea about any of it." ???!
I just have no idea what to do. To be completely transparent, the dreams are enjoyable, even though they're not real. Again, I'd never make a move on this guy. If I was single, then I probably would, but I don't want to be single, and I definitely don't want to MAKE myself single so I could explore this further because that just seems like the dumbest, riskiest idea ever.
Another thing to add is this friend has never made any moves on me so I truly don't understand why it's happening and what I should do about it because it is starting to play with my emotions and feelings towards both my partner and my friend. Any suggestions?
TL,DR;
I keep having unpredictable and unprompted sexy dreams about a mutual friend for over a year now. It's starting to affect my feelings for both the friend and my boyfriend and I have no idea what to do or if I SHOULD do anything.
submitted by ThrowRA_Mud6292 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years now. I've known the friend in question since I was 18, and since being with my current partner he's become one of our mutual friends.
I'm not sure why, but I just keep having the occasional sexy dream about him, and I wake up absolutely reeling from it. It's been happening now for over a year, but the time between them happening is extremely varied. The dreams are never crazy, and usually there's just this overwhelming feeling of sexual tension between us and nothing actually happens. But last night I had one where he was laying on top of me and I kissed him, which is the furthest it's ever gone.
Despite obvious reasons for why last night's dream had me feeling a while bunch of emotions, I'd also gone to bed that night missing my boyfriend like CRAZY so I have no idea why the dream even happened. Nothing ever seems to prompt them and it's like my brain wants to occasionally jumpscare me with them at night.
I've always thought this friend was pretty cool, and I've also anyways felt drawn to him because of his personality. At one point early on in my relationship with my partner I had to cut this friend out because I noticed I was developing a small crush on them, but that was quickly resolved and we've been friends like normal ever since.
All that being said though, I love my current partner. He's my BEST friend, and I think he's absolutely gorgeous and has a wonderful personality. He makes me feel so special and I know he's truly dedicated to our relationship which is all that I could ask for, so this whole situation makes me feel sick.
I've been concerned about the ethics of this whole thing since it started. I'd NEVER make a move on this friend of ours and I feel terrible that I'm even thinking of him that way. It feels like cheating, and I'd be devastated if I found out my partner was having similar dreams about a female friend REPEATEDLY. I've thought that maybe leaving him is the right thing to do but then what would I tell him? "I love you but I have to end the relationship because I keep having fantastical dreams about our buddy "blank" who hasn't the slightest idea about any of it." ???!
I just have no idea what to do. To be completely transparent, the dreams are enjoyable, even though they're not real. Again, I'd never make a move on this guy. If I was single, then I probably would, but I don't want to be single, and I definitely don't want to MAKE myself single so I could explore this further because that just seems like the dumbest, riskiest idea ever.
Another thing to add is this friend has never made any moves on me so I truly don't understand why it's happening and what I should do about it because it is starting to play with my emotions and feelings towards both my partner and my friend. Any suggestions?
TL,DR;
I keep having unpredictable and unprompted sexy dreams about a mutual friend for over a year now. It's starting to affect my feelings for both the friend and my boyfriend and I have no idea what to do or if I SHOULD do anything.