Hello Swifties!! So I’m just organizing my stuff together for the bracelets. I’m planning to start making them in November. I’m going to be spending September and October crocheting my outfit hehe. I just want to make sure all the songs are there that she has done for each album are on the list and that I hadn’t missed any.
Taylor Swift 1. Tim McGraw // 2. Picture To Burn // 3. Teardrops On My Guitar // 4. A Place In This World // 5. Cold As You // 6. The Outside // 7. Tied Together With A Smile // 8. Stay Beautiful // 9. Should’ve Said No // 10. Mary’s Song // 11. Our Song // 12. I’m Only Me When I’m With You // 13. Invisible // 14. A Perfectly Good Heart
Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 15. Fearless // 16. Fifteen // 17. Love Story // 18. Hey Stephen // 19. White Horse // 20. You Belong With Me // 21. Breathe // 22. Tell Me Why // 23. You’re Not Sorry // 24. The Way I Loved You // 25. Forever & Always // 26. Come In With The Rain // 27. Superstar // 28. The Other Side Of The Door // 29. Today Was A Fairytale // 30. You All Over Me // 31. Mr Perfectly Fine // 32. We Were Happy // 33. That’s When // 34. Don’t You // 35. Bye Bye Baby // 36. If This Was A Movie // 37. Change
Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) 38. Mine // 39. Sparks Fly // 40. Back To December // 41. Speak Now // 42. Dear John // 43. Mean // 44. The Story Of Us // 45. Never Grow Up // 46. Enchanted // 47. Better Than Revenge // 48. Innocent // 49. Haunted // 50. Last Kiss // 51. Long Live // 52. Ours // 53. Superman // 54. Electric Touch // 55. When Emma Falls In Love // 56. I Can See You // 57. Castles Crumbling // 58. Foolish One // 59. Timeless
Red (Taylor’s Version) 60. State Of Grace // 61. Red // 62. Treacherous // 63. I Knew You Were Trouble // 64. All Too Well // 65. 22 // 66. I Almost Do // 67. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together // 68. Stay Stay Stay // 69. The Last Time // 70. Holy Beautiful // 71. Sad Beautiful Tragic // 72. The Lucky One // 73. Everything Has Changed // 74. Starlight // 75. Begin Again // 76. The Moment I Knew // 77. Come Back…Be Here // 78. Girl At Home // 79. Ronan // 80. Better Man // 81. Nothing New // 82. Babe // 83. Message In A Bottle // 84. I Bet You Think About Me // 85. Forever Winter // 86. Run // 87. The Very First Night // 88. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) // 89. Eyes Open // 90. Safe & Sound
1989 (Taylor’s Version) 91. Welcome To New York // 92. Blank Space // 93. Style // 94. Out Of The Woods // 95. All You Had To Do Was Stay // 96. Shake It Off // 97. I Wish You Would // 98. Bad Blood // 99. Wildest Dreams // 100. How You Get The Girl // 101. This Love // 102. I Know Places // 103. Clean // 104. Wonderland // 105. You Are In Love // 106. New Romantics // 107. Slut // 108. Say Don’t Go // 109. Now That We Don’t Talk // 110. Suburban Legends // 111. Is It Over Now
Reputation 112. Ready For It // 113. Endgame // 114. I Did Something Bad // 115. Don’t Blame Me // 116. Delicate // 117. Look What You Made Me Do // 118. So It Goes // 119. Gorgeous // 120. Getaway Car // 121. King Of My Heart // 122. Dancing With Our Hands Tied // 123. Dress // 124. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things // 125. Call It What You Want // 126. New Year’s Day
Lover 127. I Forgot That You Existed // 128. Cruel Summer // 129. Lover // 130. The Man // 131. The Archer // 132. I Think He Knows // 133. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince // 134. Paper Rings // 135. Cornelia Street // 136. Death By A Thousand Cuts // 137. London Boy // 138. Soon You’ll Get Better // 139. False God // 140. You Need To Calm Down // 141. Afterglow // 142. Me // 143. It’s Nice To Have A Friend // 144. Daylight // 145. All Of The Girls You Loved Before
Folklore 146. The 1 // 147. Cardigan // 148. The Last Great American Dynasty // 149. Exile // 150. My Tears Ricochet // 151. Mirrorball // 152. Seven // 153. August // 154. This Is Me Trying // 155. Illicit Affairs // 156. Invisible String // 157. Mad Woman // 158. Epiphany // 159. Betty // 160. Peace // 161. Hoax // 162. The Lakes
Evermore 163. Willow // 164. Champagne Problems // 165. Gold Rush // 166. Tis The Damn Season // 167. Tolerate It // 168. No Body No Crime // 169. Happiness // 170. Dorothea // 171. Coney Island // 172. Ivy // 173. Cowboy Like Me // 174. Long Story Short // 175. Marjorie // 176. Closure // 177. Evermore // 178. Right Where You Left Me // 179. It’s Time To Go
Midnights 180. Lavender Haze // 181. Maroon // 182. Anti Hero // 183. Snow On The Beach // 184. You’re On Your Own Kid // 185. Midnight Rain // 186. Question // 187. Vigilante Shit // 188. Bejeweled // 189. Labyrinth // 190. Karma // 191. Sweet Nothing // 192. Mastermind // 193. The Great War // 194. Bigger Than The Whole Sky // 195. Paris // 196. High Infidelity // 197. Glitch // 198. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve // 199. Dear Reader // 200. Hits Different
The Tortured Poets Department 201. Fortnight // 202. The Tortured Poets Department // 203. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys // 204. Down Bad // 205. So Long London // 206. But Daddy I Love Him // 207. Fresh Out The Slammer // 208. Florida // 209. Guilty As Sin // 210. Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me // 211. I Can Fix Him No Really I Can // 212. LOML // 213. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart // 214. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived // 215. The Alchemy // 216. Clara Bow // 217. The Black Dog // 218. I’mGonnaGetYouBack // 219. The Albatross // 220. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus // 221. How Did It End // 222. So High School // 223. I Hate It Here // 224. Thank You Aimee // 225. I Look In People’s Windows // 226. The Prophecy // 227. Cassandra // 228. Peter // 229. The Bolter // 230. Robin // 231. The Manuscript

So i’ve been saying this girl for almost 2 years now and at the start of our relationship she got a cat. This cat was a POS and i honestly hate it but i dealt with it, even when we lived together for a year and it would trash my apartment and ruin cords, walls, picture frames, cups glasses… basically anything it can chew break or rip up it would do.
So fast forward a year the lease was too expensive and we move back into our parents homes. However w this move back to our parents houses we are now in a LDR.
I wouldn’t mind this because i drive, i see her every week or so when i make the hour drive down there.
Now here’s my issue, she never wants to come to see me, she always has an excuse and now she’s starting to say things like “oh well my cat will be alone td from 10-8 then i’ll have to come and see you and she won’t see me at all till saturday night. so if its ok maybe i’ll only come for a few hours then leave?” or she’ll just flat out say she can’t come cause her cat would be alone (on of the reasons she wanted a cat was because they can be kept alone and they’ll just chill but ok….) and Im not gonna lie this kinda bothers me. I sacrifice my entire weekend, drive straight from work to hers and go out of my way to come down whenever i have the day off. however she can’t be bothered to do the same for me ?
Am i overreacting or are my feelings of breaking up valid ? As of rn she has blown off two birthdays for my family and just a “her turn” weekend to come up because……..her 2 year old cat will be lonely…… i don’t wanna sound like an AH but this cat has been put well above our relationship by her numerous times, it’s been the root of all my problems w her and while living with her (calling me in the middle of the night crying while i have to get up at 4am cause it attacked her or knocked over and broke her expensive tv, saying she’s gonna die and she can’t afford the vet surgery cause it ate a tiny piece of string…..and that’s only us living apart when we lived together that cat caused hell 24/7)
I love this girl but it feels like i’m falling out of it cause im a 3rd thought (her cat and weed being 1st and 2nd) and i’m just so sick and fucking tired of it when i put in so much and receive to be honest close to absolutely zero.
anyway thanks again for your opinions

Since the amount of flair options is a bit limited, I figured I go with this one? So sorry if it's the wrong one. But I need some advice and I figured the potatoes (and maybe even potato queen) know best. Also, this is probably going to be long (because speaking/typing coherently is not my forte), so I apologise in advance.
I'm (32F, probably adhd, maybe on the spectrum, idk if that matters; I am in the process of getting officially diagnosed or not) in northwestern Europe, but English is not my first language. As an adult, I've only been to 1 (christian) wedding (and bachelorette), for which I was present during the ceremony and the evening party. I didn't know about the formality at the municipality, but I didn't mind, it was quite chaotic anyway. I felt a little overdressed (my semi-asian/european noble upbringing is rather strict on formal attire for formal events; it's a long story) in my formal dress with tights and heels. I went out and handmade mr and mrs gifts, along with a home spa gift basket for each.
Now my second wedding as an adult is coming up in early July and this one is stressing me out. My friend (29?F), who I was classmates and secondary school friends with, instantly told me about the engagement, and subsequent wedding date when she could (more than 9 months in advance even I think). As a good friend, I instantly let my manager know I would be taking that day off for said wedding. She and I also discussed wedding dinner plans over lunch some time later. Now, we are not the closest (she is extremely busy with 2 jobs, their puppy and wedding planning), so I wasn't expecting to be included in any bachelorette or such. Months went by (without meeting and barely speaking because she's busy), and I had to ask her about the invitation, because I wasn't receiving one (I got scared I was no longer invited). She told me she had sent them out, but hadn't had the time to drop mine off, so I ended up receiving mine last month at the gym where we both go. Lo and behold: I'm only invited for the party at 8pm... In my experience (1 wedding as an adult and 3 as a child), weddings are an all-day thing. And from the way she discussed it with me, I thought that would be the case for me. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to casually ask about it, and turns out only 30 people are attending the ceremony, and like 80 (30+50) people are invited to the party. I'm not mad I guess, but it just feels weird to me. Apparently it can be a thing to do weddings like this, but I'm having a hard time getting comfy with that idea. It feels like I'll get to watch a first dance, grab a drink, and leave money. Which is probably a thinking error on my part.
The other problem with only being invited to the party, is that, other than the bride, I don't know anyone. She mentioned some people, and there might be 1 face I might remember from high school (we didn't hang out, but she hung out with the bride a lot). However, I have 2 default settings: confidently acting like I own the place or crying in a bathroom (especially with sensory overload; best case scenario for the last one is hiding in a corner playing on my phone). My friend is well off with her 2 jobs (and her fiance working), and besides her rather high-maintenance attitude for this wedding (and life in general a bit too; but I'm not close enough to have a super juicy bridezilla story), she seems to live life spending more than me. I don't care about that in general, since we can still do lunches together and chat (and I don't feel inferior in that at all), but her suggestion for me getting to know some people for the wedding was joining the bachelorette. However, she also semi-casually said it would be €100-€150 for everyone, without knowing what activity/activities is/are planned. As a student, I unfortunately cannot come up with that kinda money. So now I'm already getting worked up on how I might have a bad day during the wedding and just have a bad time for not knowing anyone.
And finally, along with the money issue, comes the feeling that I need to put a lot of money in an envelope as a gift, which I'm also uncomfortable with, because I feel I might/will be judged for a "low" amount since I can't afford €100+. I'd rather put a lot of time and effort into finding and making something to kinda "hide" the direct monetary value of the gift(s) and instead make it look like a more heartfelt and thoughtful one. This extends to what I think I need to wear. I feel I need to wear a €100+ gown/cocktail dress/etc. Which I am unable to find (since dresses are often too short for my liking, have long sleeves, casual/holiday, or are in white/red/black which I think are inappropriate colours), and the dresses I already have don't feel good enough to fit the "summer chic" dress code.
My mum suggested opting out, but I feel I can't disrespect my friend by being ungrateful by not going. My mum also said I must gift money (although she suggested like €25 since we are not thát close). All I know is that I'm confused and stressed out. I don't want to disrespect my friend, but I'm also desperately trying to find a way to mentally prepare for this wedding.
So: - How do I get comfortable being only a party guest (especially if I don't know anyone)? - What is the best way to go about the wedding gift? - Would it be okay to wear a (formal) dress I already own?
Sorry again if it's too long fellow potatoes, but the other wedding subreddits don't feel like the right place. I'm really at my wits' end. Please help a potato out! :(

I'm rather nerdy. I spend most of my days at home hanging out with the cats. I've loved art ever since I was very young. I have big ambitions to have my own graphic design gig some day.
I love video games. I got a lot to play on. PS5, Xbox One, Switch, Meta Quest 2, and my iPad. So, like, pretty much everything but PC 😅 I also collect PS1 & 2 games to play on my PlayStation 2. In recent years I've been very casual with my gaming, playing a lot of platformers and survival/crafting games. I'll play a bit of everthing, though, except, like, sports games.
I love tabletop games. Star Wars Legion, Warhammer 40K/AoS, Magic: The Gathering, Pokémon TCG, Digimon TCG, and Lorcana. I love to paint miniatures as well, but it's a bit of a struggle to actually get people to play with me. Never really gotten the chance to play an TTRPG, but would love to. I suffer from a bit of learning curve.
I love music. Dance Gavin Dance, Papa Roach, Twenty-One Pilots, A Day To Remember, stuff like that. Bit of an elder emo. I wish I could play an instrument, but I fear I may be tone deaf 🙃
I love Marvel. Spider-Man's probably my favorite.
I love Harry Potter. Pretty sure my house is Hufflepuff.
Huge fan of The Office. I've seen the whole series countless times.
I love horror movies and got into true crime on YouTube few years ago. My favorite horror movie is probably The Blair Witch Project, second to the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I love anime and manga. Demon Slayer is by far my favorite. I also really love Fullmetal Alchemist, Attack on Titan, Digimon, Dragon Ball, and Sword Art Online.
I'm doin' a Japanese course on Duolingo.
I love baking, coffee, and grilling. I don't have too much confidence in my cooking skills 😅 I'm rather adept at baking though, and I love smoked meats 🤤
🟢4 20 friendly because some seem confused🟢

First / Previous
Back on the job, my eyes kept going to the camera that was on enclosure one. Andrew told me its real name, but I think that’d be a step too far, putting that out on the internet. I’d just stick with ‘Steve the bear’. Whatever it was, I just knew I’d have a nightmare about it eventually. Last night I slept fitfully but okay. But I know my brain, and I’d already had a nightmare about Yui stabbing me with one of her legs (they are not needle-sharp in real life, this was dream logic) and walking around, having not noticed I was a Ripley-kebab on her leg. I kept trying to get her attention but for some reason I’d been worried about sounding rude.
On my third walk around the zoo, at about 12 a.m. I saw Leila again, who I’d been noticing more and more often. She never looked interested in talking, only walking through the enclosures, and by that I meant any and all of them. She didn’t seem to have a favorite. I assume that however much of her mind that was left over from being alive still gravitated toward looking at the animals, since getting too close was what killed her in the first place.
Then, in enclosure eight, I saw a new creature and stopped abruptly. This one looked chill, but I wasn’t about to make any assumptions. It looked unique in a strange way, shaped like a giant lizard but built like a big cat of some sort. It had an uncanny valley human face, green hair for a mane, and also a horn like a unicorn. It felt like something drawn by an imaginative five-year-old brought to life, but was still somehow oddly endearing.
“Hello,” she spoke, noticing me noticing her. Her voice was distinctly female and oddly deep.
“Hello,” I responded with false cheer.
She pushed herself to her feet and I took an instinctive step back, but she seem to notice, much less take offense. “You’re the guard here?”
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Thank you.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Ah…you’re welcome. For what?”
She cocked her head. “For guarding me.”
That was different. Most of the impressions I had gotten from the animals so far were that they wanted to eat me. And the idea that this one was thankful for me doing my job was refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but made me wary. Call me a cynic, I guess.
“My name is tàiyang. You can call me Sun,” she told me.
“Hi, Sun. I’m Ripley.”
Then she looked toward the sky. “It’s going to rain tonight.”
After a thoughtful moment, I asked, “Does that make you sad?”
“Why would it make you sad?”
I smiled. “Because your name is Sun.”
She paused and then said, “I don’t understand.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, telling a pun to one of the animals. “Never mind.” I glanced up at the sky. “I thought the rain is supposed to stay away from here. Are the ones who told me that wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I murmured to myself, thinking of my raincoat hanging in the security office closet. It wasn’t that surprising, honestly. Sometimes I felt like the meteorologists in Arkansas try to read the entrails of goats to figure out the weather. It’s all a mess and it’s all made up.
At that, the animal looked to the sky and fell silent. She appeared to be the most uneventful introduction I’d had so far, and I was incredibly grateful for it. Except then the animal kept talking. “He’s under a spell.”
I blinked. “What?”
She looked back to me. “Andrew. He’s under a spell. He’s very unhappy.”
I had no idea how to react to that. For a second I just stared. The sudden jolt of being told my boss was currently being afflicted by magic left me floundering. “He… What?” I finally asked. “Where is he?”
“In his office.”
Oh shit. My eyes instinctively darted in the direction of the main office. I always just entered through the door on the west side of the building, of course, since it led to the security room. It was unnecessary for me to go through the door that first led into the lobby-slash-office Andrew worked out of. Sometimes he even left early, so it was locked anyway. I had the key, but again, it was unnecessary.
Whatever had happened, assuming this animal wasn’t joking around (she seemed completely serious), I needed to establish whether she was right. Leaving the enclosure of the animal I’d just met, I quickly walked back to the small building.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked loudly. “Andrew, are you in there?”
The only reply was silence. I stood there until enough time had passed that it was obvious that no one was coming to answer the door. Taking out my phone, I dialed his cell number and wait as it rang. Then I grimaced when I heard it ringing inside.
Hanging up and shoving the phone back in my pocket, I stared at the closed door.
Trying the doorknob, I found that it was unlocked, and my heart skipped a beat. Andrew always locked his office before leaving. Opening the door slowly, the lights were off in the room, leaving only the faint red glow of the lights outside peeking around his curtains, so I turned on a light. Then my heart plummeted into my stomach, because there was Andrew, splayed limply on the ground, his eyes only half open.
I bolted to him and dropped to his side as he let out a whimper.
“Andrew,” I said, putting two fingers to the side of his neck. He remained silent, and despite his relaxed, wilted appearance, his heart was racing, and I wondered if he was in pain. The room smelled, and it was clear to me that he’d lost control of his bowels. I couldn’t believe I’d been working here for hours without knowing he was in the next room like this.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you. Can you hear me? What happened?” He made a small sound, unfocused eyes attempting to meet mine, but it was as if he were severely deprived of sleep or something, unable to focus. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, but he couldn’t speak. All I got was halting words mushed into each other. I felt for him; he must’ve been mortified by his condition. I would’ve been, at least.
The obvious solution would be to get Suzanne’s number from Andrew’s phone, so I searched him for it and found it in his right jacket pocket. I pressed the button the iPhone, swiped, and let out a sigh of frustration. He was security conscious enough to lock his phone with a code, of course.
“Can you… You can’t tell me the code,” I said knowing. He grunted quietly.
“What happened?”
I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Leila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Andrew’s body. “You scared the bejesus out of me,” I exclaimed. I stopped myself before asking if she could make some noise when she moved or if I could put a bell on her. “What does it look like happened? Someone put a spell on him.” Abruptly, my stance changed, standing up straight. “Wait. Do you know how to get in touch with…anyone?” I asked desperately.
“I know Ms. Cooper’s phone number,” she said frankly.
My eyes widened. “Seriously? How?”
“Andrew gave it to me after I worked here for three months.”
That stopped my brain dead in its tracks. “You…used to work here?” I whispered. I remembered Andrew telling me that one of the night shift managers had been killed, but he hadn’t told me it was Leila. Whether it was for her own privacy or her dignity or some other reason, it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I could call Suzanne.
“I worked here for three months,” Leila confirmed as I took out my own phone.
“Okay…what’s her number?” I asked, ready to dial. She rattled off the number and dialed it.
The phone rang twice times before someone answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Suzanne?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
She had a British accent like Andrew did. I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Ripley Mason. I got your number from Leila. I’m here in Andrew’s office and he’s in really bad shape. Someone cast a spell on him and it’s like he’s lost control of the part of his brain that lets him move around and speak.”
“What?” she snapped. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said, glancing back to Andrew. He actually looked calmer now, and I hoped that was because he knew Suzanne could fix this. “I was doing my rounds and I met Sun; she’s the one that told me and that’s why I came into his office. I don’t- Who would do this? What do I do?”
“It’s okay, Ripley. I’ll leaving now and will be there soon,” she told me. I heard rustling in the background, the sounds of getting out of a chair and footsteps. “Did you check the security cameras?”
My eyes shut in irritation against my stupidity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll do that right away.” Proof positive that I was completely out of it. Some security guard I was, not even able to keep my head in an emergency.
“Don’t apologize, Ripley, you’re quite within your rights to be discombobulated at the moment,” she said. “And I’d like you stay with Andrew, but I would prefer to know what happened. Leave his side just for a second to check the footage.
“Okay.” I crouched down to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked to me, but he didn’t make a sound. Getting back to my feet and walking over to the security room door, I went in and sat at my desk, putting the phone on speaker so I could more easily navigate the footage.
After fidgeting around with the unfamiliar aspect of the program, since I’d never needed to look back before and Andrew only showed me how to do it once, I finally went back to the point where the spell had been cast. “Okay, he walked into his office with two men at…4:08 p.m. and it looks like he was fine with it. He wasn’t under duress, from what I can see.”
“That’s likely Michael Wise and Eric Henry,” Suzanne told me. “They were allegedly making a donation, a herd of Bagot goats.”
“Allegedly?”
“Well, I’m operating under the assumption that they lied if Andrew is spelled.”
I grimaced. That was a good point. Watching them have a conversation, I saw Andrew tense, and then turn to dart toward his desk, but he only made it two steps before one of the men raised what looked like a wand, snapping it in my late boss’s direction, speaking something. As I saw Andrew’s body seize like he’d been hit with a taser and collapse, I hissed in a sharp breath. “Cripes.”
“What is it?”
“One of them had a wand,” I managed. “He-He did something with it.”
“I’m here, Ripley. Come back to the office.”
My eyes widened and I did as I was told, stunned to see her opening the front door. “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.
The woman gave me a small smile, rendered grim by the situation. “Call it a trick of the trade.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Suzanne was all hard edges, her pin-straight blond hair cut at an angle just below her ears, and she wore a smart blue pants suit with matching pumps. But then she looked to Andrew and her face softened, despair and fury flashing across it as she quickly walked to him and knelt at his side, taking his weak hand in hers.
“Oh, Andrew,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. You’ll be okay. I already texted a healer and asked her to come by. A friend of mine named Janine.”
I looked back to Andrew’s face, his eyes open and his expression one of exhaustion, but then quickly looked to Suzanne. “Why would someone do this?” I asked.
“I have a feeling at least one of our animals is missing,” she told me, her voice low and hard.
Anger flared up in me. “What?” I asked tersely. I glanced back in the direction of the cameras. “Should we check the cameras to see which enclosure they went to? Do we- Are there cops you can call for this? What do we do?”
Suzanne’s face slowly faded to sadness. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. “You’re accurate in that I do have a different police I’ll call about this. But there’s a good chance we won’t get the animal back.”
“Wait, why? Come on, there’s got to be magic you could do, right?” I asked anxiously.
“The animal will have been warded and sold to someone immediately,” she explained. “They would’ve had a buyer set up, and gone straight there to reduce the risk of being caught with it. Anyone who is buying an animal like this is extremely powerful, which means that even if we catch the men who stole it, they’d go to prison, but they wouldn’t risk angering the buyer. They won’t tell the authorities who it was, even for a lesser sentence. Losing an animal to robbery has only happened twice in the zoo’s history, this is the third time, but that’s how it played out both times. Actually, in the first instance, the police didn’t even catch the people who took it, since they were wearing masks.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Suzanne pushed herself to her feet, walking over and opening it without hesitation. “He’s in here.” I took the opportunity to open the windows and turned down the thermostat so it would start displacing the smelly air.
A woman walked in, Janine presumably. “Oh, goodness,” she breathed, going quickly to Andrew. She took his pulse with one hand as she pulled a wand out from her purse with the other. “It’s good he’s staying calm. Redire orior can be terrifying to be subjected to.”
“He wasn’t calm when I got here,” I told her quietly. “I’ve been here for hours and didn’t know he was here until just a few minutes ago.”
Janine swore softly. “All right. Let me get started.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I turned to Suzanne. “What did she call this?”
“The spell is ‘redire orior’. It’s a regression of part of the mind, basically all the way back to when we were first born,” she said tightly, anger flickering across her face. “He has no more control over his body than he did when he was a newborn baby.”
I grimaced, looking back to him. “Oh my god,” I whispered. It meant exactly what it had looked like when I’d walked in: Andrew had been rendered completely helpless. Rage welled up inside me, despising the men who’d done this and wishing desperately that Suzanne had been more confident in finding them.
Suzanne took the opportunity to walk into the security office and I heard her sit in my chair. Janine put down her wand to have both hands free and told Andrew, “Just relax, concentrate on breathing slowly,” she said, carefully pulling both of his legs out and rolling him onto his back. She then put his arms at his sides and, picking up her wand, pointed it at his forehead.
I took in a sharp breath of surprise as I saw a faint glow coming from the wand, through the top of it and then to Andrew’s forehead. She held that position for a while, muttering under her breath.
A few minutes later, Suzanne came out and took her phone from her pocket, saying, “I don’t recognize either of the men in the footage. But they seemed distressed, particularly the one that didn’t hurt Andrew. I don’t think that’s what was meant to happen.”
“Meant to or not, it happened,” I muttered through clenched teeth. I’d already decided that my new to-do list every day included first checking the office cameras.
“Andrew,” Janine said, letting the glow fade. “Can you speak?”
“I…yeah,” he whispered.
Suzanne came over to my side. “Thank goodness. How are you feeling? How’s the vertigo?”
“Pretty much gone,” he said, closing his eyes for a long moment, though he didn’t try to stand up.
“Andrew, I pulled up the cameras in the office and listened to the audio,” she told him. “I know what happened.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The cameras have audio?”
“It’s under admin privileges, but yes. Andrew, you should have known better,” she said softly, looking back to him. “The gun in one of the desk drawers? I presume that’s what you were lunging for, because those two men had just made it clear they were here for an animal.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just…” He looked distraught.
“They told you to just let them get what they came for,” Suzanne said. “Why didn’t you?” My lips parted in shock.
“The last time this happened, I cooperated, but…I regretted it,” he growled. “We never saw Harriet again. I couldn’t just stand here and let them do whatever they wanted. Not again.” I assumed Harriet was one of their animals, but I didn’t ask.
“Don’t ever do something so foolish again,” she told him, on the verge of being upset, her emotions likely tempered by his condition. “I want to make it clear to you that this job, these animals, they’re immensely important, but they are not worth your life. He could have killed you. If someone gains access to the zoo again to steal an animal I want you to cooperate fully. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Andrew muttered.
The idea that Andrew had tried to bring a gun to a wand fight was staggering. Something heavy curled in my stomach at the thought. It was clear he cared about the wellbeing of the animals to a degree I hadn’t comprehended.
Janine took one of the small pillows from the couch and tucked it under Andrew’s head as Suzanne continued. “All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll go through the footage to determine what they stole and then call the authorities to report the theft. Janine, can you continue to treat him?”
I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but Janine apparently did, since she nodded and knelt back down as Suzanne went back into the security office. Janine did the same thing that she’d done before, that soft glow channeling light into Andrew’s head. Obviously, I wanted to ask what she was doing, but I knew better than to think I’d get an answer. Instead, I sat in one of the loveseats in front of Andrew’s desk, turning it to face them.
I heard Suzanne’s voice faintly speaking to someone on the phone and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Suzanne came back out again and she stood next to me for a long moment, watching the healing process before turning to me.
“Andrew told me you were attempting to create some enrichment activities for the animals?” asked my boss.
“Oh, uh…yeah, I am,” I answered. I assumed she was trying to make small talk to distract me from the current situation, and I appreciated it. “The first one went well. Spike loves artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts. I went with things that made it a challenge to eat, like it’s a challenge to pull out fingernails of its prey.”
Suzanne’s expression brightened just enough for me to notice. “Ripley, that’s wonderful. Very clever.” She let out a breath. “It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that Andrew chose well in hiring you.” I gave her a small smile. “Listen, I’m going to hire someone else to be here with you on duty,” Suzanne told me, “and by that, I mean someone from my neck of the woods. Andrew explained that to you, correct?”
“Not much. Just that you’re not from Earth.”
Suzanne smiled. “That makes me sound like an alien, but yes, I’m not from this dimension. I can hire someone who has similar abilities to mine, who can check in every few hours, make sure everything’s all right, but generally make themselves scarce unless there’s an emergency. He wouldn’t have been able to do much if he’d already been here, but he’d have known what was going on. Andrew would have received assistance immediately.”
I was curious of what those abilities were, aside from being able to see the animals, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Also, I was curious about who this new ‘employee’ would be, but presumably I’d find out sooner or later. “That would make me feel a little better,” I said, nodding. “Knowing there was someone else here.”
She nodded once. “It’s as good as done, then. As for Andrew, he’ll need to take a few days off to recover. Would you be willing to give the tours until he’s back in ship-shape?”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. “Wait, what? I can’t even see all the animals!”
Suzanne chuckled at my expression and shook her head. “I can enchant a pair of specs for you to wear,” she told me. “It’ll give you a bit of a headache, but you’ll be able to see all of the animals. Also, I’ll give you the background for each of them, because you’ll be speaking about them to the tourists.”
I blinked, thinking of how awesome it would be to finally know all about them all. And it was flattering, the fact that she had such confidence in me that, without hesitation, she asked if I could take over for Andrew. The best thing for me to do, of course, was to be confident and assure her that I could take any temporary promotion in stride. “I’m…I’m not great with people,” I managed.
Yup. Nailed it.
“You can be a little harsh with them if you need to,” she said with a small, knowing smile. “I assumed that signing up for a job where you interact with a screen of cameras the whole time means you aren’t great with people. And Andrew did brief me on you when he hired you. How good are you at couching your insults in polite talk? The British are quite skilled, but I know Americans aren’t too bad at it.”
I smirked, remembering how a coworker friend of mine once told a customer, “Oh, bless your heart,” in her thick southern accent and it sounded like the worst insult. “I can manage that, I think.”
A buzz from the gate that went to the panel on the wall drew our attention and Suzanne walked over to let the visitors in. It was three people, a man and two women, with a gurney.
Walking over to Andrew, I folded my arms with a small smile as Janine released his head from the glow the wand was emitting. “Hey. Sorry you had to lay on the floor for so long knowing I was cluelessly reading a book in the next room.”
“Eh, not the end of the world,” he whispered. “I’ll be back on my feet soon. So, no parties while I’m gone.”
I snorted and my smile widened, and he returned it.
Going back into the security room, I pulled the system back to the multi-camera exterior view, and I sat there and listened to Suzanne talk to one of the medics, explaining everything that had happened in detail. Once she’d done that and they brought Andrew outside on the gurney, presumably to a waiting ambulance, I gave my statement, and then…it was back to work.
Obviously going back to work like nothing had changed felt weird, but Suzanne stayed, letting me know that she would get some work done at Andrew’s desk until my shift was over. It was likely the opposite of necessary, the robbers were gone, but it did make me feel a tiny bit better knowing that she was in the next room with her wand.
First / Previous
***
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The idea : Make a HFY stories without other species and take place on modern day earth, the goal highlight the most important component of humans, Humanity

Trigger warning : Heavy Suicide Theme

As Dr James walks to the rooms, he takes one deep breath. “Good morning Rudy, how was your sleep last night ?” he said from near the opened door. Rudy sight is now directed toward the incoming voice from the door. He sees one man in white robe holding a tablet accompanied by male nurse in his back*. Ah, here come the doctor’s.*
“I don’t want to talk with you, I just want to be gone from this world”, followed by shrieks from the patient. “I don’t have any reason to live, please let me goo”, *useless me can’t even finish the job*. The sentence is followed by a loud growl from Rudy as he tries to escape the bed restraints put on him.
The doctor was taken aback by such a strong reaction, Rudy can see that doctor James' face changes from a slight smile to what he assumes is the doctor's thinking face. “Aah I know !! Jamal, can you watch Mr Rudy for me? I have to take something from the outside” as James voice breaks the awkward silence that hangs in the room. Rudy is confused by the doctor's reaction.
Doctor James leaves the room as is, *no one wants to help me anyway*. Rudy could not help but to feel disappointment at the doctor as he went out, doesn’t matter my time here is short anyway. The room is filled again with silent awkwardness as the black nurse just stood in the door watching Rudy every moment. His brilliant brown eyes looking sharply at him, he felt nervous, *please let me go* .
After what felt like eternity the doctor came back to the room with one bag in his hand and laptop in another, *looks like a new model from zeon*. “Is that zeon zenith 12? “ his mouth bluntly said, *wait, noo?!!*. Dr James stopped by his bedside, looking a little bit surprised and quickly nodded “Yes, this is zeon zenith 12, are you a tech enthusiast ?”. Rudy did not answer, he gazed away from the doctor. “Well, looks like you know some tech update for the very least”.
Scrieeek……….. . “Ach…!!” Rudy covered his ear as the sound of metal chair scraping the floor ring aloud. “Ooh sorry Rudy, I did not know you’re sensitive to loud noises, i’ll be careful next time ” as doctor James stops the chair movement. Rudy stays silent, as Dr James takes a seat on a chair beside his bed. “So I know you don’t want to talk to me about your problem right now” James then grabbed the food table, “So instead why don’t we just watch some cute cat video i curated for this”.
Rudy turn his head back to James again this time confused looks clearly drawn in his face, is*n’t his job try to talk me out of suicide?*. “You want to talk about your problem now?” Rudy then looks away again from the doctor “Yeah I thought so. So why don’t we just watch this video and for a moment forget everything about the problem and just watch the video ?” Rudy did not turn his gazes, *how could i forget it if only bad things happened to my life?.*
His face began to puff up as he held back tears, “Alright if you don’t want to, I’ll watch it myself”. Meowing can be heard from his back, wait he seriously does it ?!. Rudy turn back his gaze toward the doctors with a slightly furious face, he looks focused on the video that played from his laptop. As doctor James looks back at him “want to watch ?” Rudy once again threw his gazes away. “Alright ” bruk.., the sound of the heavy laptop being placed in the food table and the sound of meowing continue. Rudy tried to look away still, but the cute voice made him curious, and feel awed. He finally looks at the video playing, he looks at the laptop intentley, almost like a child watching their favorite cartoons.
Rudy for this moment in time and space, he forget his problems, his shitty work at john’s pizza, his loud and inconsiderate upstair neighbor, his neighborhood that is brimming with trash and the gunshot he hears every night, his nonexistent love life, his friend who left him after uni, his grade from uni and highschool, his parents, and his past. For this moment he lives in the present, not overthinking about the past or the future.
They watch the video, both attentive in their own way, transfixed to the screen like a moth to a lamp. Through dozens of cute cat compilation videos they watch together, his face begins to relax from constant fury and agony to a more neutral tone. Then finally without realizing it he, smiled a little.
Chee-klick, a bright flash hit him. His arms reflectively move to cover his face but can’t because of the arm restrained to his bed. “Hey, why are you take a photo of me without **my permission !!!**”. “Oh I’m sorry for that, I just saw you smiling while watching the video so I need to take that” James explained. “I smile ??” Rudy asked as he felt dumbfounded by the word. “Mhemmm, here’s take a look “ Dr james then flip his phone and let Rudy take a look at his screen.
*I smile, does that mean i don’t want to die, no no no that can’t be right i want to die i can’t feel happiness anymore, if life is not happy then, then…..* . “Ah you know looking at it again you smile looks beautiful so I hope i can see more of your smile” Dr James said with a big smile on his face.
Now that Rudy takes a look at his face, he sees it now, his face. His bright eyes that are colored like sapphire, his blonde hair looks like it was made from gold, his face is soft but unmistakable masculine quality, his dark green shirt underneath his white robe. From his broken mind he sees a hope in the form of what seems like an angel to him. *He is… handsome*. His tan cheek is now adorned with light pink.
“Well that is one of the reasons, the other one is I need to make a report to Stephen charities that finance your stay in here”, *ah well that makes more sense*. His face gets back to a neutral tone. “Well, if you want to remove the photo, I can make an ex…”, “No, just give them the photo I can’t pay with my saving, and my insurance will probably not give the money” Rudy said with a stern voice, his face followed similarly but James can notice a hint of Sadness in there.
“With your consent, oh and also our session must end here i’m afraid, i have another appointment scheduled ” As dr James looked at his tablet that he brought from the beginning. “Don’t worry we have another session tomorrow” dr james put the tablet in the bag and shutting down his laptop. “Tomorrow our session will start at 8.30 am and end at 10.30 am so about 30 minutes off from today”. Dr James, who has already finished picking up his stuff then looks at Rudy, “So I hope you look forward to our session tomorrow”.
“Wait doctor James”James stops on his way to the door as he hears his patient call. ” I look forward to it too, and and thank you for today!” Rudy said as he shut his eyes out of embarrassment. “Yeah, your welcome, see you tomorrow Mr Rudy” unbeknownst to Rudy who still closed his eyes, James is smiling now just a little and more genuine.
“Come on Jamal , let’s go” creek.. The sound of the closing door allows Rudy to open his eyes again. Rudy began to process what just happened in his first season, “Is it that easy to actually made me not commit?, do I still have the will to live or does he give it to me?,”, and the last thought made him flustered “did i get charmed by him ?”.
As he overthink his head began to hurt “Stupid Rudy, very stupid"he muttered to himselt. "Well, if I survive and become a burden, I will make sure he take for his responsibility in this”
Hello everyone, i hope you enjoy this short story. The idea come to me after reading a lot of HFY that put emphasis on human physical traits. I feel like there is a need of hfy stories that focused on what i think the most impressive part of human Humanity and our bonds. I'm also intrigued by the idea of HFY story that is based on modern 21st century without no magic or alien, i feel like we human are already impressive now without any exageration of circumtances or another species to be compared too.
I'm gonna remind you all that our path to get here is literally unique and very impressive, and even without sci-fi tech we already have control of this earth akin to God. And even though our future is fraught with uncertainty, the odds are with us. Our form maybe flawed, but so does this universe so let us reach the infinite together !!.

Hi, not a regular reddit user and this is my first ever post. So for reference I'm 19M, and for the past 5 years my life has been a complete wreck seemingly to no end. No matter how much therapy, hospital trips, or stays at a psych ward I have nothing ever really seems to improve. I come from a very low income background (My father suffers from dementia, my mother only just recently started to work a minimum wage job after being on welfare for 20 years), so as far as my options go, I don't seem to have very many. I'm the only one in our entire family out of 2 with a Highschool diploma, but ever since I graduated I've constantly avoid conversations relating to college because I feel so burnt out. They diagnosed me with MDD during my first time staying at a psych ward at 15 after attempting to kill myself (Had a bad breakup among many other things). I don't think I've even gotten close to getting out of it despite being put in on four times, each time I was offered a new program(s) to help me manage my symptoms. After a while of trying and constantly talking to professionals I eventually just gave up and it's only continued to spiral down ever since. I struggle to consistently take care of my own personal hygiene, I'm struggling with both weight loss/gain, the idea of working is so exhausting to me the one time I tried to work a simple job as a fast food worker, I couldn't even complete 2 months of working there without feeling drained. Everything easy to others has become significantly more difficult for me and I don't know how to get out of it. I genuinely don't really have any real friends, I can't seem to maintain the few relationships I have because I've become too introverted for my own good. Most of this is my fault, it's not like I don't get invited to stuff every now and then, but I just can't seem to follow through when I tell someone I'll show up to hang out and always make an excuse last minute. I've become so lazy and seem to do nothing but rot all day while other people my age are out there living their lives as regular teenagers. I've tried Group Therapy, I've had multiple psychologists, psychiatrists, a nutritionist and kinesiologist. I've cycled through a few medication and saw little effect (Fluvoxamine, Prozac, Seroquel, some others I can't remember off the top of my head) so I've completely stopped taking them
I know the things that I want in life, but I just seemingly can't ever find the will to push through all the pain and struggle required to actually obtain said things. People, especially my other family members, tell me that I'm the most likely to make it out of this life but I just can't seem to find it in me. I want to finish college and become an Aerospace Engineer, I want to get more in shape, I want to have clean and bright white teeth, I want to travel and visit people I talk to online, I want to be able to go out without worrying about my appearance. I want to pay back my mom for always finding a way to make our lives significantly easier.

My partner and I have a feral cat, 6ish yr old Missy, who lives in our apartment with us. We would like to get her a kitten for companionship but could use advice on introducing them. Everything I’ve seen talks about introducing their scents to each other and using treats/pets for positive association. Trouble is…we can’t get close enough to Missy to pet her, let alone shove a scented object in her face to smell. She’s not aggressive and has never hissed or swatted at us, even when we have to trap her to cut her nails or take her to the vet. Any advice on how to make the introduction?
Some context: my partner and her ex adopted Missy a few years ago when she just wandered into their house. She had been hanging out in their backyard every day and they fed her and even built her a little house out there that was heated and waterproof. Anyway, they already had two cats when Missy came in and she loved playing with them and snuggling with one of them especially so we know that she’s fine with other cats and think she would benefit from having a companion.

We live in a townhome community. We have an indoooutdoor cat. She was feral when we adopted her and definitely enjoys the pampered life, while still wanting to go outside.
We have been living in the same home for 3 years. She has been going outside through a cat door for 2+ of those and I have heard nothing but positive things from neighbors. This morning I receive this message from a neighbor on Facebook.
“Good Morning! Your cat keeps coming on my porch and hanging out at all hours of the night and setting off my cameras. Can you please keep it in the house? I am sure you would be annoyed if you had motion at your front door at 3am and 4am in the morning every single day. I have been meaning to reach out a while ago but I didn’t. I hope you understand my frustration. Thanks in advance”
Tbf I don’t think either of us are “from hell”. This is just an issue that needs to be resolved and I am asking for advice on how to do that. I believe this could be fixed by changing the sensitivity settings on her cameras (but maybe that’s not really the real problem here, I suspect she could just not want the cat on her porch).
I don’t think the only solution is keeping my cat inside. But want feedback from others!

Hello Apes.
Back with another review of all the tweets sent from memelord and cat inspiration, Roaring Kitty.
If you missed my first review for 13th May, you can find it here.
To reiterate, the description of each tweet is to the best of my knowledge the references made and the speculation is pure speculation on my part, this is just for fun and shouldn't be taken as any financial advice, make your own decisions, I just like the stock. If you have anything to add feel free to in the comments and I'll do my best to update the post.
11am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790396654971224430
Description: The infamous scene from the movie Troy where Achilles rather reluctantly at first, comes forward to fight the mighty Boagrius. Achilles runs at him, defending against a few spear throws then with one epic jump and slide, stabs Boagrius with this blade killing him in one clean strike. The music dubbed on this clip is Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm of the War Drums by A Perfect Circle.
Speculation: Chosen warrior blessed by the gods comes forward in front of the masses and takes out the big baddie. You could make the speculation that the song could reference something to do with DRS (A Perfect Circle) and SHFs bleeding out (counting bodies like sheep).
11.30am - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790404203715887238
Description: First of all we have a cat talking to itself in the mirror stating the words, "Don't be the bigger person today, be the person that helps them understand that sometimes when you f**k around, we find out...". We then cut to arrested development where Buster who is portrayed as a bear has something to say, "i wanna shoot down everything you say, so i feel good about myself. cause i'm an uptight [insert copious amounts of swearing].
Speculation: First part DFV knows they (Shorts) have messed around again and have been doing it dirty. The gig is up again, time to close and pay up. The second part is a funny scene from arrested development where Buster, a character who just cannot fit in properly goes AWAL to try and show he has a nasty side, it just comes across as way too far. DFV just poking fun at bears here no doubt.
12:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790411757120561628
Description: First we have a scene from The Town where Doug says to James, "I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people." and James replies, "Who's car are we going to take?" Then it cuts to Mad Max where there are a load of sand buggy cars going nuts with flame throwers and all sorts of chaos with the song Du Hast by Rammstein playing in the background.
Speculation: I haven't seen the Town but from reading online this scene showed the amazing friendship between Doug and James when James simply replies, who's car are we going to take? in response to what sounds like a risky ask for help from Doug. Then with Mad Max: Fury Road we have a film about a post apocalyptic survivor in Max Rockatansky who eventually brings down a warlords Citadel (hmmm).
12:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790419301976903884
Description: First we have the whistling of Omar from The Wire, then we have a scene from the Kingsmen where they are locked in a pub with Galahad and the quote "Manners maketh man" and finally we have a scene from Oldboy with a big fight scene cut alongside some anime which is from demon slayer
Speculation: The whistling is synonymous with Omar and is to the tune of a nursery rhyme, "the farmer in the dell", anyone that watched The Wire would know instantly that this means Omar is coming and this means you best get out the way as he is coming with his double-barreled shotgun and he certainly won't hesitate to use it. The Kingsmen scene where they are locked in the pub is a particularly violent scene and it's an interesting film to reference, the plot *Film spoiler here* is essentially about a boy named Eggsy from a lower-class neighbourhood who's father dies and he finds out that his father was part of an elite inner circle of upper class. After trying to be part of this group, Eggsy discovers their secret plot to take over the world and takes it into his own hands to save the day. u/ ThePhenomNoku talks about the last 2 referenced films; "So the anime is demon slayer. It’s about a kid who has everything taken from him and trains to learn how to fight demons. Though as a sidenote he kind of carries one around with him. It’s complicated.The other movie with the guy holding the person, & the fight scene is the original Oldboy, and without giving too much of the plot away it’s about a dude who is falsely imprisoned for a couple of years or so, and then enacts his revenge."
Edit\* As u/ omegs points out: whistle is "The farmer in the dell, Hi-ho, the derry-o" reference to the circle. The movie Kingsmens: The Golden Circle as well
1:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790426851409817615
Description: Firstly we have the scene from Oceans 11 where Danny Ocean is chatting to Rusty Ryan right in the initial stage of their plan to heist the casino. He talks about how it's never been done before, will need planning and a large crew and Ryan asks if they are going to use guns, he replies "not exactly, there's lots of security" and finally Ryan asks "what's the target?". We then cut to a film i'm not aware (anyone help here?) of where an older gentleman shows a calculator to a young woman and the calculator says "Just up" on it then the woman says "yes that looks correct"
Speculation: In Oceans 11 there was a lot of planning and variables that had to happen for everything to work. It was a high risk high reward plan with a lot set up to go against but it's possible. The target has always been "just up", DFV just reiterating what he said in the first place.
1:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790434400494116873
Description: First we have a scene from Old School where he states, "A loophole?" "Yes. Well, it's interesting, sir. As stupid as they appear, they're actually very good at paperwork. It's quite an anomaly." then it cuts to a scene from the same film with the C&C factory everybody dance now song and a cheerleading dance attempt
Speculation: Of course with the loophole stuff it could be about all of the DD that has been done on what has gone on over the years but it could equally be about SHFs finding loopholes to get out of the mess they are in with the stock. The second part the judges clearly don't feel the attempt of the cheerleading or gymnastics piece they are portraying is any good but they are giving it a go and it's suppose to a comedy. Note the school is the cougars, cat links again of course.
Edit\* As u/ omegs points out: Loophole is reference to circle. Notice how the mascot is similar to a cat that does backflips into the center of the circle
2:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790441953659687421
Description: The first part is taken from The Batman and has Batman's monologue running and when the Batman signal is fired into the sky, a kitty shadow is shown instead of the Batman logo. It ends with an emphasis on "Fear is a Tool".
Speculation: Batman was of course a good hero who would rid the streets of criminals, they would scare just at the sight of the batman signal being fired knowing that they were about to get wrecked. In this clip, two years has been replaced with three years in the monologue and the kitty signal is of course a nice touch.
2:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790449499506192405
Description: This clip is taken from Mr Robot and is where Elliot plays eXit, a text based computer game that requires him to answer a series of questions in a text based game.
Speculation: I think it's best just to give the description of what happens in this scene taken from the fandom page. Elliot chooses to sit down with the friend in the dungeon. He lights a match and reads the note "Don't leave me here." Elliot chooses to stay. The alarm shuts off. An explosion happens nearby. Robot opens the door to find a fire raging outside. He concludes it's too late. Both of them sit down. They each say "I love you." Explosions rage around the room. "It's an exciting time in the world," Elliot says. Fade to red. Take from that what you will.
3:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790457051115847720
Description: This scene is taken from the movie Scream (2022), a direct sequel to Scream 4. A lot of the text has been changed but to summarize, one person states "he is making a requel" then there is some talk about the squeeze movie that came out last year and how most people in the actual know hated it and how "squeeze mid" pissed on their "covidhood", how the main character is a mary sue? Then a few cuts of Scream and how real squeeze movies have meta slasher whodunnits and that to some people the original is their favorite thing in the world
Speculation: A requel is A movie which revisits the subject matter of an earlier film but is not a remake or a linear continuation of its plot (i.e. a sequel or prequel). So essentially what is happening right now with the stock is not exactly the same of what has happened before but it is essentially a revisit of the same subject regarding squeezes. A mid squeeze implies that it wasn't as high as the squeeze could have gone and the theme of slashers and murdered people really suggests heads will roll (SHFs hopefully).
3:30pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790464599575167004
Description: This is a scene from Candyman where he has come for the woman. There is some cat flashes and images going on and the Woman in this is tagged as a bear (that is someone who is down on a stock or market, usually would short). Candyman talks about how there is no need for the bear to leave yet and that he was obliged to come then he says "be my victim" and a bumble bee comes out of the word be.
Speculation: Time is running out for the bear, they can hang around for a while longer but they will be the victim. This is more of the DFV is coming for you as he dresses himself up as a rampaging murderer targeting the bear in this case. Not sure on the bee, whether that is DFV just having some fun or if it's that a sting is coming in some sense.
4:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790472153470759217
Description: Taken from No Country for Old Men, Carson states he is a day trader and that Anton doesn't have to do this (Anton is going to kill him) tell him he could just go home. Carson continues that Anton could have 14 grand out of an ATM and just walk away before finally stating "do you have any idea how crazy you are?". Anton replies, "you mean the nature of these memes?" to which Carson says "I mean the nature of you!" The scene ends with the phone ringing.
Speculation: DFV putting himself into the mode of Anton from No Country for Old Men is quite the statement. For those who haven't seen this movie, Anton is a wrecking ball of a killer and adheres by his rulebook to seek out different people through the movie to take out. Carson being the desperate short seller here who is not understanding why DFV isn't just playing by the usual financial rules and taking his gains and going. The phone ringing at end could be an implication of margin calls ringing for the desperate short seller.
Edit\* As u/ omegs points out: I think the ATM might be a double meaning "At The Money"
8:00pm - https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526
Description: This is taken from Braveheart and the prisoner (William Wallace) is asked to say a word in a famous scene where WW shouts "FREEEEDOM" only in this clip its "GAMESTOOOOOOOP".
Speculation: This is the first direct reference to Gamestop word for word and it should be noted that this is the scene where William Wallace is about to be executed. Could mean that DFV is willing to risk it all for Gamestop like William Wallace martyring himself for the freedom of Scotland.
Hope you enjoyed.
Love ya DFV

So in our reservation system, you can either make multiple reservations separately or simultaneously. Oftentimes making them simultaneously is the option that makes the most sense. You only need to get the guest’s personal information and CC number once as opposed to however many times. There is, however, a quirk with this shitty reservation system that’s started happening in the last week. When you make multiple reservations simultaneously, you have to send the confirmation emails individually. And when you do that, for whatever reason, the system lists the total for ALL the rooms on EACH confirmation email. So if each room is $100 and someone has three rooms, each confirmation email will show one room, but the total on each of them will show as $300. Might be enough to make you go, “wtf? That ain’t right.” and call the hotel, right? Totally understandable. And those phone calls involve the guest explaining the problem and asking why the total for all the rooms is showing for each individual room. And I politely explain that making multiple reservations simultaneously produces that result in the automated emails, and I assure them that each room is still the same price. And they say thank you, they appreciate the explanation, and we say goodbye. Pretty simple, right? A shitty bug in the system, but it’s not our fault, and it’s not our hotel’s fault. It’s the reservation system itself. The call this post is about is, what, the second call I’ve had about it, though apparently my GM was already aware of the issue earlier in the week and didn’t say anything until I brought it up. Of course.
So this lady calls me to make two reservations over the phone. Okay, no problem! I make them simultaneously and send the emails. She calls back, and she explains the issue. I’d said each room is $100, but the confirmation emails each say $200. I apologize and explained the issue that’s cropped up and assured her that each room was still only $100. She asked if I’d be able to resend the confirmation emails with the correct totals on each. I hesitated before telling her it wasn’t possible with the way the reservations were made, but I’d be happy to manually send her an email confirming the price if she wanted documentation. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds, so I asked if it was for an employer that would need proof in order to compensate her. She said, “just a second, my boyfriend wants to talk to you.”
Of course he does. Gotta get The Man on the phone to Set Things Straight, huh. Right away, he was a lil bitch. Actually a huge bitch, but y’know. “YOU told me those rooms were each $100 but then YOU sent two emails saying they were $200.”
“And I explained that th-“
“I HEARD your explanation, but obviously you don’t know how to do your JOB.”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“I want you to do your job right.”
“Okay? Well I can do my job just fine without you being rude.”
“I WANT two separate emails with the right totals on each. Because THAT’S WHAT I DESERVE.”
I actually, audibly, scoffed when he said that. Because, sir, what you deserve is to have my foot crammed up your ass.
“I’d have to cancel both and remake them separately to do what you’re asking, which is fine, b-“
“I don’t care what you have to do, just do your job right this time. If I find out you’ve charged my card the wrong amount, it’s not going to end well.”
“Oh, would you like to come in for your rooms tomorrow night and yell at me then, also?”
Now HE’S scoffing in disbelief because I said something unprofessional over the phone. Well suck my dick, sir, because you’re a Grade-A piece of shit.
“Oh I won’t be yelling at you. I’d be speaking to your manager and telling them to fire you for lying.”
“Great! I’m going to go ahead and cancel your two reservations and you can stay somewhere else. Feel free to call tomorrow morning from 7am to 3pm to discuss this with the manager.”
Dude didn’t even say anything for a second. And then he said, “isn’t there a manager there RIGHT NOW?”
“Nope… I hope you have a night as lovely as you are, sir.” and then I hung up on his ass. And yes, I shamelessly ripped that suggestion from people on this sub. That’s what came to mind. Well, that’s what came to mind after I reminded myself that I couldn’t call him a motherfucking cocksucker and hang up on him. I was at the desk waiting for him to call back and bitch at me. To my surprise, he never did.
God, he pissed me off so much that I was shaking with anger for half an hour afterwards. I went back into the office and texted my manager about the whole conversation followed by a string of profanity. My GM was accepting of the situation. My FOM was like “what an asshole. I would’ve said worse before hanging up on his ass. DNR him.”
I did. The best part was, he went online and made two reservations for our hotel that way. Like a few hours after the phone call ended. And I cancelled both of those ones too. Sent the cancellation emails and everything. He didn’t try to rebook. He tried to bitch at the manager the next day, but he was told he was put on the DNR list and would be escorted off the property by police if he came in.
What a fucking prick.

CHAPTER 9 – ENTROPY
DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you generally keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough."
"I appreciate that, and I will definitely lean on your experience whenever possible. However, you didn't really answer my question... Why aren't you a captain anymore?"
"I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her out of there, I'll send the cavalry."
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I thought I was going to die in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she ultimately was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, between the technical issues with the lights going out, losing power to workstations, or the constant antimatter threat. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are continuing the mission without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, and only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed.
Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, and proceeded to kiss her neck and nibble on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out as she melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and then with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over her bra.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them. Just be happy I already took care of the issue, alright?” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, man have I wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s just one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me, Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes.
Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real or all in my head. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normalized it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided.
Better to have the electrical inspection ordered up, too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief could handle it from there.
MEANWHILE…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, I just hope the meds kick in soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels actively malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.

Yesterday, I experienced an emergency with my cat after I discovered he had eaten an elastic cord off a new pair of shoes I had just gotten in the mail. They were on the floor no less than 5 min after I walked into the other room to grab a pair scissors to cut off the cord and tags, when I came back and discovered my cat standing over it, licking his lips, and the cord connecting the two pair of shoes no where to be found. I immediately called my cat’s primary vet office to find out what I should do, and the front office staff gave me incorrect, potentially dangerous advice to administer hydrogen peroxide and spin my cat around to make him get sick. She said I only had 20-30 minutes to do this or he would begin to digest the string. Panicking, & running around trying to find my peroxide and a syringe or something to measure with, my partner thankfully had been googling for advice and found that many online resources say to NEVER try to induce vomiting in a cat at home with peroxide since cats do not always respond to it like dogs do, and that it could cause worse problems like hemorrhagic gastritis, stomach ulcers, etc. and to go to your vet instead for induced vomiting. I called the vet back begging and pleading to let them bring my cat in to the office instead so they can use medication to induce vomiting as recommended, and the front office employee kept trying to get me to use the peroxide and told me that no one was available to help since they were all out at lunch, so I couldn’t bring my cat in. She kept saying she was trying to save me money and at that point I lost it. I don’t care what it cost, my cat needed urgent help and she had no other advice!!!! And was unwilling to help or even give me names or contact info of emergency vets in the area to try calling and going to.
Instead, I was left to panic and try to find an emergency vet that wasn’t at capacity and could help my cat. All of them were 45+ minutes away and I had already wasted precious time on the phone with this woman getting incorrect and unhelpful advice.
Thankfully, my partner found an emergency vet that was accepting patients and they were able to admit him and induced vomiting to get the string out. It had been almost 2 hours at that point and we were lucky he had not digested it yet. We were able to bring him home after a few hours of observation and he is doing incredible, completely back to his normal self.
Now, I’m struggling with what to do about my primary vet. This situation has made me completely lose trust in them and my instinct is telling me to cancel his future checkups and find a new vet, but I’d have to travel to the next town over and many vets are booked so far in advance and some are not taking new patients due to shortages.
I’m feeling like a horrible cat mom and trying to make sure I am better prepared & can give my cats a better quality of care in the future when we need vet services.
What would you do in this situation?

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

First time reader of Wolfe and I'm having an amazing time working my way through shadow and claw. I had to read this chapter a couple times to try and grasp it; it's extremely dense. I'm still finishing Claw of the Concilliator so my thoughts may change. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
The Tale of the Student and His Son Analysis
“Once, upon the margin of the unpastured sea, there stood a city of pale towers.”

• The unpastured sea evokes Hamlet “the undiscovered country” death and the unconscious. Pale refers obviously to a light color but also feebleness. However, a tower symbolizes wisdom and stability and the balance of forces (light and dark, fire and water, order and chaos). Wolfe is already painting this city in contradiction.

“In it dwelt the wise. Now that city had both law and curse.”

• Another symbol of duality: loss and gain. The wise give the law but simultaneously curse the city.

“The law was this: That for all who dwelt there, life held but two paths: they might rise among the wise and walk clad with hoods of myriad colors, or they must leave the city and go into the friendless world.”

• Here’s another contradiction: the wise wear myriad colors symbolizing their acceptance of all, but their law is built on exclusion, a brotherhood without.

“Now one there was who had studied long all the magic known in the city, which was most of the magic known in the world”

• The magicians study pan (all). They are comparative mythologists, occultists, Jungians, etc. (This, ironically, is Wolfe). Pan in Greek mythology is a cloven foot and horned god that plays the “pan flute”, and is associated with nature and sex. He is often accompanied by nymphs.

“And he grew near the time at which he must choose a path. In high summer, when flowers with yellow and careless heads thrust even from the dark walls overlooking the sea.”

• High summer is a reference to the “dog days” of summer. In ancient Greece, this was the hottest and most uncomfortable part of summer. It’s called the “dog days” because it coincides with the heliacal rising of Sirius in the constellation Canis Major. Furthermore, the Greeks believed the luminous Sirius (from seiros: scorching) caused the extra hot days. I mention this because it relates to the alzabo which in the Lexicon Urthus is from the archaic Arabic “al-dhi’b” which refers to a wolf, a jackal, or a star in Canis Major.

“How may I - even I who know nothing - have a place among the wise of the city? For I wish to study spells that are not sacred all my days, and not go into the friendless world to dig and carry for bread”

• Another paradoxical and ironic statement: he’s been studying all his life, but knows nothing. A Socratic kind of wisdom but also represents spiraling madness. Critically, he wants to study non-sacred spells; he turns away from the divine.

“ Do you recall how, when you were hardly more than a boy, I taught you the art by which we flesh sons from dream stuff? How skillful you were in these days, surpassing all the others! Go now, and flesh such a son, and I will show it to the hooded ones, and you will be as we.”

• Groomer! And if Wolfe is trying to evoke ancient Greece with this story, it’s well-founded that older Athenian men would often indulge their passion for youth. This would explain the use of the carnal word “flesh” to describe the creative process. Sex magic is a common occult practice and is certainly non-sacred. The passing of seasons represents the cyclical nature of trauma and abuse.
• Wolfe uses very unsettling language: “And the old man who had taught him thought of the beauty of the trees that had for so many years delighted his eyes like the white limbs of women.”

“Winter came stalking into the land from his frozen capital, where the sun rolls along the edge of the world like a trumpery gilded ball and the fires that flow between the stars and Urth kindle the sky. His touch turned the waves to steel, and the city of the magicians welcomed him, hanging banners of ice from its balconies and heaping its roofs with glaces of snow.”

• Perhaps a reference to Saturnalia but does not follow the ancient Greece theme. Saturnalia occurred near the winter solstice because the sun enters Capricorn, the astrological house of Saturn, at that time. Capricorn fits in with the Pan imagery as it too is a goat-like being.
• Saturn represents the cyclical course of time and season (Greek equivalent Chronos). Saturn would regularly devour his own children; this fits into the aforementioned cycle of trauma.
• Saturn is often represented with a sickle: a symbol of mankind’s partial control over the natural world.

“In spring, the most beautiful maidens of the city, the daughters of the magicians, were clothed in green; and while the soft winds of spring teased their golden hair, they walked unshod through the portal of the city, and down the narrow path that led to the quay, and boarded the black-sailed ship that waited them. And because of their golden hair, and their gowns of green faille, and because it seemed to the magicians that they were reaped like grain, they were called Corn Maidens.”

• Here the sickle imagery is introduced directly. The Corn Maidens are human sacrifices, but are compared to grain and corn; sent into the “unpastured sea.”

“Looking from his window saw the maidens filing by, he set aside all his books and began to draw such figures as no man had ever seen, and to write in many languages, as his master had taught him aforetime.”

• Is this not what Wolfe does in his writing? He constantly appropriates ancient words from forgotten languages to do his “magic.”

“ At first it seemed to him that all the skill his master had taught him of old had deserted him, for from the first light to the moonlight he was alone in his chambers save for the moth that fluttered sometimes to show the insignia of Death at his undaunted candle flame.

• More meta stuff: writer's block
• A moth showing the insignia of death is an interesting comparison. This moth could be interpreted as the final stage of metamorphosis before death. It could also refer to the Bombyx Mori, the silk moth. Mori in this sense means mulberry, but mori can also mean death (as in memento mori). The silkworm has a similar symbology to the scythe in that it represents man’s control of nature. This is the domesticated version of the silkworm that relies completely on humans for its survival and is genetically modified to promote silk production. This reflects the city’s practice of human farming and sacrifice.

“Then there crept into his dreams another; and he, knowing who that other was, welcomed him, though the dreams were fleeting and soon forgotten.”

• The Irony here is that although he works tirelessly practicing his magic, he only summons the being when he is not working, asleep and unconscious. He welcomes this being into his mind. “He heard the step, always in another room” He’s unable to pinpoint this being’s being; he can only pinpoint its secondary effects. As he continues his magic, the aftereffects become increasingly pronounced until finally the illusory becomes real. Milton describes hell as “darkness visible.” I think Wolfe is going for a similar effect here.

“Then the student dared turn himself where he sat, and he saw standing before him a youth haughty of port, wide of shoulder, and mighty of thew. Command was in his firm mouth, knowing wit in his bright eyes, and courage in all his face. Upon his brow sat that crown that is invisible to every eye, but can be seen even by the blind; the crown beyond price that draws brave men to a paladin, and makes weak men brave.

• The student’s creation terrifies him, but he doesn’t want to show his fear.
• “Haughty of port” meaning prideful with an air of superiority. Going back to Milton: “round he (Satan) throws his baleful eyes, that witnessed huge affliction and dismay, mixed with obdurate pride and steadfast hate.” Classic Luciferian pride.
• Contrary to popular depictions of Satan, he is one of God’s highest creations: “Whoever he is, the “Devil” is among the very first and best creatures of God. He is, so to speak, perfect enough, wise enough, powerful enough, one can almost say divine enough, to know God and not to surrender to him - to know him and yet opt against him, to desire freedom from him. But since this freedom is impossible in the love and light which always lead to God and to a free surrender to him, it must of necessity be fulfilled in negation, hatred, and rebellion.” (Alexander Schmemann). Satan is God’s highest creation but he is the most base, he is wise yet chooses irrationality, in Wolfe’s description he wears the invisible crown that all see. Satan is an ironic, paradoxical, and tragic figure.
• Milton also describes Satan as a commander

“Often I have seen, like a green serpent called by the notes of a pipe, a column of green slip down the cliff below our city to the quay.”

• Again Wolfe uses Miltonian imagery: “Thus they Breathing united force with fixed thought moved on in silence to soft pipes that charmed Their painful steps O’er the burnt soil.” Both descriptions suggest a snake charmer playing his pipes.
• This connects Satan and Pan: pan pipes as well as ostensible concern for his nymphs

“At this the young man’s eye flashed, and he demanded: ‘Who is this ogre, and what form has he, and where does he dwell?’”

• The ogre is the beast and the minotaur that lives in the west. The West is another symbol of death and the unconscious.

“His name no man knows, for no man can approach near enough…His harbor is an isle to the west, where a channel with many a twist and bend, dividing and redividing, reaches far inland. It is on the isle, so my lore teaches me, that the Corn Maidens are made to dwell; and there he rides at anchor in the midst of them, turning his eye ever to left and right to watch them in their despair.”

• Does no man know its name because no one has discovered it or because it doesn’t exist? Or are both the same?
• Eye of Sauron reference. Masonic all-seeing eye which masons say represents the omnipresence and omniscience of God, but, in reality, represents an all-powerful control system that constrains mankind. When Severian first goes against his guild he says of his fellow torturers: “ I saw them as powerful, the active principle of an inimical and nearly perfect machine.” Severian first realizes that Nessus is a vast control mechanism; the torturers are a gear in the infernal machine.
  
• The beast lies in the labyrinth. The twisting and bending channels describe a labyrinthine structure without directly calling it a labyrinth. When Domnina first observes Father Inire’s mirrors: “She ran to the curtains hoping to find another door behind them, but as soon as she pulled one aside, one of the eight walls painted with labyrinths opened and Father Inire stepped out. Behind him she saw what she called a bottomless hole filled with light.” Wolfe is trying to show that the beast, the control mechanism, is tied to these mirrors.
  
• The young man fleshed from dreams relates to the fish fleshed from reflected light in Father Inire’s mirrors. They are both paradoxical creations; how can one create reality from the virtual (dream stuff and mere reflections)? The fish is clearly a reference to Christ and the ichthys; Domnina even references Pascha. But this Christ is a virtual Christ, an antichrist. In Revelation, the Antichrist is depicted as the ape of Christ, but ultimately the Antichrist is a mere illusionist: “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” (Thessalonians 2:11).
  

“For I am Noctua, the daughter of Night, and the daughter too of him whom you have come to slay…For though he did not know why, being of the stuff of dreams he was drawn to her; and she, who eyes held starlight, to him…At this the princess took pity on him, for all who have the stuff of dreams about them seem fair in some degree at least to the daughters of the night, and he fairest of all.

• Noctua means owl from Latin nox meaning night (and she is quite literally from her mother Nox). Nox is an important aspect of Thelema or the occult practices of Aleister Crowley. Nox is the formula of the night of pan, the “crossing of the abyss” and the union with “our lady of abominations” Babalon (from Revelations the whore of Babylon). In Nox, the adept experiences unification with the All through ecstatic destruction of the ego-self, dissolving duality into one or, in other words, nonsense. Ego death is a core element of mind control (MK Ultra and Project Monarch** remember the silkworm symbol).
• It’s clear from this passage and later passages that many others have been sent on this mission in the past. However, Noctua feels a particular affection for this commander.

“At length Night came, and they saw her striding from islet to islet with her bats about her shoulders and her dire wolves dogging her steps. No more than an easy carronade shot from their anchorage she seemed, yet they all observed that she passed not before Hesperus or even Sirius; but they before her. For a moment only she turned her face toward them, and none could be certain what her look conveyed. But all of them wondered if indeed the ogre had taken her without her will as her daughter had said; and if so, if she had not lost the resentment she might be imagined to have felt.”

• Hesperus represents Venus the morning star in Latin Lucifer or light bringer. As Russell puts it, the evening star is the morning star; it represents the drama of a hero striving for the highest seat of heaven but being cast out of heaven (matches the movement of Venus in the sky). Another connection to Sirius.
• Another suggestion that perhaps this quest is not as it seems.

“In ancient times, so it is said, a tattered child, the daughter of a fisherman, found on the sand a stoppered flask, and by breaking the seal and drawing forth the cork became queen from ice to ice. Just so it seemed, an elemental being, strong with the strength of the forging of creation, debouched from the tall smokestacks of their ship, tumbling over himself in dark joy and growing with a rush, as the wind comes.”

• This could be a Pandora’s box reference, critically Pandora. Another dualistic notion, that what saves the day also causes doom. Or perhaps Odysseus’ bag of winds; the aid turns into the curse. Fits into the overall narrative of the story that Severian is both a torturer and a hero. He is “severed” and “severs” into two. Dorcas: “All of you are torturers, one way or another.”

“Then he strode to the rail and looked down; but with such an expression that no one, not even the most brave, dared to look at him. When he lifted his eyes at last, his face was set and grim and with no word to any man he took himself to his cabin and barred the door.”

• Obviously despondent. Either about the evil he released into the world or that his great battle was with a phantasm or that the whole quest was a lie.

“But on the morning of the third day, the young man fleshed from dreams came out of his cabin and began to walk up and down the deck as he was wont to do”

• Allusion to the resurrection of Jesus on the third day. His cabin serves as his “tomb.”

“At this he looked up into the very vault of the firmament. And some thought he prayed, and some that he sought to restrain the anger he felt against them, and some only that he hoped to gain inspiration there. But so long did he stare that they waxed afraid, even as they had when he had peered into the water, and one or two began to creep away. Then he said to them: “Behold! Do you not see the sea birds? From every corner of the sky they stream. Follow them.”

• He’s come back from the dead but is filled with anger.

“None of them ever forgot that night”

• Nothing like an orgy after a long day of work.

“Certain of the Corn Maidens wed those princes who, having spent years so long enchanted that they are loath to leave that life (and have in that time learned much of gramary), build palaces on lily pads and are seldom seen by men.”

• They go out to become demonic forces in the world. Lily pads are a call back to Chapter 2 of shadow: “When I think of my own death, or of the death of someone who has been kind to me, or even of the death of the sun, the image that comes to my mind is that of the nenuphar, with its glossy, pale leaves and azure flower.” The nenuphar exists above and below the water; they exist in two worlds just as their journey took them from the east to the west.

“And when he beheld their dark sails, smutted by the burning tar that had blinded their enemy, he believed them blackened in mourning for the young man, and he threw himself down, and so perished. For no man lives long when his dreams are dead.”

• Absurd ending to the story. You can't help but laugh at the ending. Jonas even suggests that the end of the story has been edited.
• IMO, he kills himself because the “hero’s” journey was never meant to be a success. The hooded ones need the ogre to have the utopia.

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Chapter 15: For What You’ve Tamed
“We’ve come a long way, Vikri. Let’s finish your story,” Rayner said as he sat down in the same chair, crossing his legs in the same way.; small consistencies that made the task of talking about my past seem a little more routine. “I understand you lost someone important to you that day.”
I shifted slightly where I sat. “Yeah,” I answered coarsely. I grabbed at the poncho hanging over my shoulders. I remembered what it felt like in my dreams. Radiant warmth always seemed to emanate from it. Not necessarily the poncho itself, but Tenga’s memory. I realized that as long as I had those, then he was still here in a way. I’d much rather have him here than his memory though.
Rayner nodded. “I know what that’s like,” he said in a near whisper.
I shook my head. “It’s not just that I lost him. I…I failed,” I rasped. “I could’ve saved him. Maybe if I’d gone back I could’ve gotten the equipment before the fire did. I was too afraid.”
Rayner nodded slowly. “And now you feel responsible.”
I remained silent as I clutched my tail on the couch beside me. Rayner already knew the answer. He pursed his lips. “Yeah…I know exactly how that feels.”
I looked up at him. For the first time, his eyes weren’t on me, but on the adjacent wall as he seemed to ponder something. “You think about all the things you could have done differently. Things that are so obvious in hindsight,” he sighed and adjusted his glasses. “If only it were that clear in the moment.” He looked up at me, clasping his hands together. “So walk me through what happened.”
I could still vividly remember the moment Tenga got shot. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. So quickly in fact, that it even took Tenga a moment to realize there was a hole in his torso. Minutes of continuous tension shattered with a hail of gunfire lasting less than a second. The echoes continued to howl through the mountains long after the bodies met the snow. My friend was fatally wounded, the snow around him dyed bright red with his blood. And I had to leave him.
The entire time I was in the belly of the federation destroyer with danger lurking around every corner, all I wanted to do was to get this done as quickly as possible and get back to him. I was enraged that they’d done this to him and to billions just like him.
“Tenga was all I thought about the entire time,” I croaked. “And I…I was willing to kill everyone onboard to get back to him, even if there was no way I ever could. I… did things I could never have imagined myself doing even just days ago. I tore a chunk out of my leg just to be able to get to the Krakotl pinning me down with a crowbar.” I inhaled deeply, staring down at my reflection in the water, recalling my bloodshot eyes in the reflection of the ship's monitor. The grimly colorful bloodstains in my fur from several different species.
Rayner nodded. “It was a desperate situation. Many don’t see themselves doing things like that until they’re put in a situation where it's necessary. A situation where it's do or die. No one can fault you for that, especially not with all that depended on you.”
“I guess I just…It’s just worrying knowing that there’s a part of me capable of that.”
The doctor tapped his pen on his notepad as he seemed to think for a moment. “Do you worry that you may have violent outbursts?”
I scoffed. “Well, the events of a few days ago provided good grounds for worry.”
Rayner nodded. “Aggression is common for PTSD victims. It can be difficult to manage intense emotions when your mind is already dealing with so much.
I shook my head. “That’s not the person I want to be.”
Rayner nodded. “I know Vikri. That’s why it's so crucial for you to talk about this stuff. The less all of this weighs on you, the better you’ll be able to control those emotions when they arise.”
He finished writing on his notepad before taking off his glasses and leaning forward slightly. “So what happened to Tenga?”
The question made my heart sink. My mind went quiet. The second hand of time sounded like the footsteps of a giant marching toward…something. My body seemed to go cold and numb. “He died…” I croaked, staring down at the table. That was the first time I’d admitted that to myself verbally in such a direct way. “And I tried so hard,” I choked, tears now streaming down my face. “I did everything in my power to save him. I even put Querek’s life in danger.”
I felt the heat. I could feel cold water dripping from my paws as the burning ship melted the frost accumulating in my fur. I remembered the terrifying hopelessness that gripped me as I gripped Querek and pushed him into the snow. He tried to sacrifice himself for Tenga. What if I had let him? Would it have even worked? Could Tenga accept that?
I recalled the story to Rayner, battling to keep my composure. “I…I watched him die,” I choked. “And I was furious. Reese had to pull me off of him. I wanted to do…something, anything, but…he told them not to bring him back. I think he…” I winced at the thought of him considering this. “I think he’d rather have died sacrificing himself over…going rabid.”
Silence perforated the room for what felt like several long minutes. Rayner sat with his legs crossed, his hand propped up against his mouth. He seemed to become lost in thought for a moment before speaking. “I know how that guilt feels,” he admitted quietly.
I looked at him, somewhat surprised. “You do?”
Rayner nodded, rubbing his hands together. “My son,” he said plainly, taking a long pause before he continued. “He and Jesse were very close as kids. Practically brothers.” He tapped on his clipboard with his pen. “I was…not so available in those days. I was a very different man than I am now. I was still in school. I was always busy, always stressed. I hadn't even considered becoming a therapist. I was deadset on becoming a neurosurgeon.” He scoffed at himself, his head gently shaking back and forth as his gaze grew distant. His delivery lacked that matter-of-fact candor I was so used to by now. He was much quieter; less animated. His eye contact was sporadic and he never stopped fidgeting with his pen. Everything about him seemed suddenly mired in an emotion that was difficult to read. That was when I saw everything we'd done over the past few days for what it really was. Rayner wasn't invincible. He never claimed to be. He was hurt; I could hear it in his voice. He wasn't a person reaching down into the mud and yanking me out by the nape of the neck. He was man covered in mud himself. He wasn't an untouchable hero. Merely a guide.
He continued as that realization struck me. “I loved him as much as a father could. But I was so busy that…well I wasn't there as much as I'd like to have been. That put a big strain on our relationship.” He removed his glasses and wiped the lenses a few times before he continued. “One night we got into an argument. He’d just gotten his license. He had an old beat-up car I'd bought him for his birthday,” he chuffed. “A teen’s first car is always…eccentric. Thought it was a great deal at the time.” He sighed and nodded slightly before continuing. “He left the house enraged, speeding down the road. After a few miles, he lost control, swerved off the road, and hit a tree head-on. The airbag never deployed. The car crumpled like a soda can.”
I stared at him, speechless as he concluded in a near-whisper. “He was declared dead at the scene.”
The room felt hollow for a few long seconds. I searched for a reply but couldn't fathom the right words to say. Fortunately, Rayner didn't stay silent for long. “Like you, I blamed myself for a long…long time.” He sighed. “And it nearly destroyed me.”
I stared at the floor, fidgeting with my tail. “How did you…overcome that?”
“Well it didn't happen overnight,” he replied, flashing a brief smile. “It takes time but, at some point, you have to carry on living. You have to continue loving.” His eyes creased slightly as he looked down at his own hands. “You have to keep loving,” he repeated in a low whisper.
Loud silence claimed the room again as his words sank in. He was right. It was either accept what happened or live like this forever. Looking at it that pragmatically, the choice seemed easy. Emotions are never so logical though. It wasn’t as if he relieved himself of that burden either, it was obvious he still carried it. It just…didn’t weigh as much now. Not because it got lighter, but because he got stronger. I eased into speaking again. “I…I'm sorry. About your son.”
Rayner nodded. “I'm sorry about your friend.”
We both stewed in silence for a minute before Rayner spoke up. “We’ll send you home today.”
“You…really think I’m ready?”
Rayner nodded slowly. “I think so. The medication seems to be working, you haven’t had any breakdowns since you’ve been here. You’ve gotten much better at discussing these things. I think you’re equipped to face this now.”
“...I’m afraid,” I croaked.
“Of what?” Rayner asked, leaning forward
“Of…seeing Lucky again. I'm doubting whether I even should. I was never prepared to be her master. I’m just a danger to her.”
“Vikri,” Rayner exhaled and leaned forward. “You made a mistake. We all do. But you have a responsibility to her. You should at least see her and face that mistake, or you’ll never have closure. What you decide after that is your choice, but I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you think.”
“I hope so,” I sighed.
Rayner clicked his pen and set his notepad aside. “We’ve made you some medication to take home, same stuff you've been taking. The plan is to keep lowering the dosage until you’re sleeping without it. We’ve made you some sheets with all the daily doses on them and when to take each one. It’s enough to last you two weeks, then once they’re out, you’ll come back here for another session, then if you need it, we’ll get you more and keep weaning you off them.”
He leaned forward, emphasizing his next words. “And I cannot recommend enough that you go to Jesse’s support group in between our meetings. Those will help you tremendously, I’m sure of it.”
I nodded. “I have his number. I’ll…I’ll give it a shot.”
“You won't regret it,” Rayner assured me. “Jesse was in the same chair as you not too long ago for similar reasons. He has knowledge from first-hand experience. I can vouch for him, he’s a great guy.” He inhaled. “Well, is there anything else Vikri? We won’t be seeing each other again for a while, so if there’s anything else, now’s the time to talk about it.”
I thought for a second. We’d covered almost everything. I’d never discussed those days in so much detail. It felt like being submerged in icy water. It was miserable at first, but over time it became easier, even comfortable. I’d relived so much pain over the last three days, but here at the end of the whole story, It felt less like a nightmare, and more like reality. “No, I don’t think so,” I finally replied.
“Then I’ll clear you to go home. Andrea is here, she’ll give you a ride, I’m sure. Here.” He reached over and handed me a small business card. “That has all my contact information on it. I’m usually here in my office until late at night, so feel free to call if you need anything. If the sedative gives you any issues at all, any side effects, make sure to call and let me know. We followed the recipe to a tee, but it’s wise to be cautious.”
A familiar silence flooded the room as Rayner and I seemed to, for the first time, have nothing left to say. Finally, the doctor spoke. “See you in two weeks, Vikri.”
///////////////////////////////
Golden strands of light danced between the digits of my paw as I moved it in front of the brilliant summer sun. An intense beacon of warmth floating in a sky as blue as Earth’s oceans. The rumble of Andy’s car occupied the air as we cruised down the highway. Vivri was sound asleep in the backseat. The gentle white noise and vibration seemed to knock her out cold. I watched the sunrays dance as I waved my paw in front of me, before turning it around. Several spots on my paw still had obvious scars. I even still had burn scars from the electrical systems aboard the crumbling Cardinal.
I curled my paw closed into a fist and rested my head against it, watching the lush, green mountains pass by in the distance. After three days I was set loose into the world once again, hopefully better armed than I was before. Even after all the weight I doffed from my shoulders in Rayner’s office, a crushing mass still rested on my chest. Lucky.
The weight only became heavier as the car slowed, and rounded a corner into the parking lot of a large animal hospital. Andy gently brought the car to a stop in a parking space in front of the entrance. Occasionally people would walk in and out with their pets, many of which were dogs on leashes.
Vivri stirred awake after we stopped. “Oh…We’re here,” she muttered nervously. “There’s…a lot more animals here than I was expecting.”
Andy chuckled. “It’s an animal hospital girl, there’s gonna be all kinds of critters here.”
I turned around to face her. “You don’t have to go in there. You and Andy can wait here.”
Andy scoffed. “You might wanna tell Rayner they screwed up those meds, ‘cause you’re delusional if you think I’m letting you go in there by yourself.”
“Well I don’t want her to be alone out here,” I argued.
“I’ll go in, just…stay close, please?” Vivri interjected.
I looked back at her, ears tilted. She was dead serious. I sighed and shook my head. “This is gonna be a disaster,” I groaned.
Andy opened her door. “I’ll wait with her in the lobby, you go talk to the vets. It’ll be fine.”
I looked back at Vivri one last time as Andy stepped out. “Alright, just stay away from the cats.” I opened my door and began stepping out into the summer air.
“C-cats?”
“Small felines. They're demons with mind control,” I replied just before closing the door.
Vivri scrambled out of the car and followed right on my heels. “Well don’t just leave me!” she squeaked.
I laughed. “I’m kidding. Well, mostly.”
Walking into the building, I realized that Lucky had been in a very similar place as me over the past three days. The lobby felt eerily similar to the one at the medical center. Everything went silent as Vivri and I walked in. Immediately I could feel dozens of eyes on us. Vivri hid close behind me as Andy gestured for me to follow her to the desk.
I doubted any of the humans there meant any harm, but dozens of binocular eyes snapping onto her in an instant had Vivri more unsettled than she already was. It didn’t help that several dogs were either on leashes or in carriers in the lobby, which were no doubt just as curious. I grabbed Viv’s paw. “They don't see many Venlil,” I whispered. “Just ignore them.”
I approached the desk with Vivri still hiding behind me. “E-excuse me?” I stuttered. The woman at the desk looked up, clearly caught off guard by two venlil standing before her. “O-oh! Excuse me, you must be Lucky’s owner, right?”
“Yeah. Vikri.” I could feel Vivri shivering behind me.
“I’ll let Doctor Gavin know you’re here.”
“Thanks,” I muttered before turning to Vivri. “Are you sure about this?” I whispered.
“Of course! It’s just for a few minutes, right?” Her body language gave an entirely different answer. She seemed like she might faint at any moment.
I looked up at Andy. “Keep her close, would you?”
Andy wrapped her arms over Viv’s shoulders. “Of course. I’ll keep little Vivi safe from all the big, bad puppy dogs and mean kitties,” she said in baby speak, twisting her side to side. She giggled. “We’ll be fine.” Her tone suddenly shifted as she locked eyes with me. “Will you?”
I stood there in silence for a moment. This entire time my heart felt unbearably heavy. Standing there, I felt nauseous. So much so that I made it a point to know exactly where the bathroom was when I walked in. The weight on my chest made breathing a laborious task. I heaved in a deep breath. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in there but…I have to do this. For both of us.”
Andy exhaled and nodded, seemingly just as nervous for me. Right on cue, the door at the back of the room opened with a heavy click. “Vikri?” a male voice called out. An older gentleman in burgundy scrubs surveyed the room. It didn’t take long for him to find me. He nodded toward me as he adjusted his glasses. “Right this way, please.”
“We’ll be right here,” Andy whispered, her hands still resting around Viv’s shoulders, who agreed with a tail flick.
I nodded and walked toward the man, leaving the cozy waiting room behind, and entering a long, sterile hallway. The doctor’s shoes clicked against the tile as he walked just in front of me. The weight bearing down on my chest only got heavier with each step. After a few agonizing seconds, the man finally spoke up as he stopped outside a door. “I’m Doctor Gavin,” he said breathily, extending a hand. “I performed Lucky’s surgery.”
I took his hand with my paw, which he could no doubt tell was trembling by this point. “Vikri,” I choked. “S-so…How is she?”
“She’s good,” Gavin answered in a higher pitch. “She’s recovering remarkably fast. Really lived up to her name.” He opened the door and stepped through into a kennel area as he continued. “The bullet hit one of her ribs and shattered. A couple of fragments pierced her lung, one of them was just inches from her heart. There’re still a few very small ones lodged in her tissue, but we’d be doing more harm than good by trying to remove them. They shouldn’t cause any issues and come out on their own after some time, but we’ll keep track of them with x-rays.”
As he spoke we passed by kennels, some empty, some with dogs that barked or jumped up on the cage as we passed. I scoured each one for Lucky, my dread building with each one we passed. Suddenly, the doctor stopped in front of me. He inhaled deeply. “I should mention…Given the…circumstances of how she got these injuries, me and some staff will stay with you just in case she becomes aggressive. That’s not to say that I think she will,” he added hastily, “she’s been great with everyone here but…you know, just to be safe.”
“I get it,” I breathed. It made sense. If Lucky attacked me, it would be far more deadly than it would be for a human. And I was confident even a human wouldn’t last long against a half-wolf her size. Fittingly, a group of four humans were gathered at the end of the hallway, catchers in hand.
Time seemed to slow as I approached the pen. The staff members all looked over at me with the same anxious expression. I felt like a prisoner walking toward my judgment, and that perhaps it was me that belonged behind these cages. I swallowed and took a long, slow breath as Gavin opened the gate. He walked in ahead of me. “Hey there big girl,” he said in a chipper tone. I heard the familiar thumping of Lucky’s tail against the floor. Gavin chuckled to himself as the remaining four staff calmly and quietly filed into the pen. Once they were all inside, the final human leaned around the corner, looked me in the eyes for a long second, and nodded once.
A new reality awaited around that corner. My sentence was about to be read. It felt so cripplingly helpless; wanting so desperately to finally be reunited with my best friend, yet trembling at the thought of rounding a corner to run face-first into the consequences of my actions. I steeled myself one last time. I nodded back at the catcher and took slow, deliberate steps toward him. I finally rounded the corner, and for the first time since the incident, I saw Lucky.
She lay on a large, fabric bed, with food and water bowls close by. Her right front leg was bound in a cast, tied up close to her body. A large patch of fur had been shaved away around her chest and halfway up her neck. She seemed thinner than I remembered. It reminded me of the scared, hungry pup I’d met so long ago.
Her eyes tracked onto mine instantly, and I felt an ache that defied all imagination. The same gaze that would send almost any other Venlil scrambling down the hallway instead gripped some inner part of me in a cold, numb stasis. I couldn’t move. Part of me wanted to run to her and spill out how sorry I was. Another wanted to curl up on the floor right there and sob, returning to that familiar numbness that seemed akin to the ancient enemy of life itself. The cold. That bitterness that pierced through fur, through flesh, through bones, and any ideal held by the naive child that sat next to Tenga’s corpse that day. It ran through until there was nothing left.
Then, I felt a warmth as if someone had draped a blanket over me. I gripped my poncho around my shoulders, grabbing it tightly. I made a quiet promise to myself there and then. Not a promise to my sister, or my parents, or Andrea. Me. I wouldn’t lie down in the cold. Never again. One more hill.
“Hey Lucky,” I said, my voice coarse and breaking every syllable.
The silence was abruptly broken as Lucky, though seemingly frail, shot to her feet. Everyone in the room shifted, prepared for the worst. I didn’t dare move, but I could feel my heart pounding in my legs, my body preparing to bolt. The staff watched her carefully, their grip slightly tightened around their polls. Lucky made no sounds, only stared at me, her nostrils flaring as she gathered my scent. Her right front leg was useless, immobilized against her body. She shifted her footing to steady herself. Then I saw something that replaced fear with tears. She was shaking like a leaf, never taking her eyes off me. She could care less about the others. She was scared. Of me.
I felt myself fall off a ledge in a sensation I’d become all too familiar with over the last few weeks. Tears streamed down my face, my breath hitching as I brought my paws up to my face. I fell to my knees, the presence of the staff had become irrelevant. “I’m…I’m sorry,” I exhaled between gasps. “I’m so sorry.”
So there it was. My new reality. It wasn’t what I’d hoped for, but it was what I expected. I didn’t know what I’d do then, and I didn’t know now. Could I go on without Lucky? She was the one fortress in the turbulent seas of my broken mind. She was the one I could always count on. The one that I knew would always be there, no matter what. Now I was convinced she was terrified of me.
I sat there a shattered mess for a long moment, tumbling off that cliff and reaching out for anything to catch myself, but found nothing but jagged stones. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Doctor Gavin attempting to comfort me, I assumed. Until I felt something touch my knee. I looked up, thrown out of the spiral abruptly. Lucky was now just in front of me, licking my leg. I froze, confused. She gently laid down, careful of her bandaged leg as she rested her head on my leg, looking up at me. That was the same leg she’d broken months ago. Finally, I got it. “I hurt you, and you still loved me.”
A wave of relief rushed through me and I looked down at her, eyes glossy with tears. I bent down and rested my head against hers. I laughed, though it sounded more like a sob. For the first time in days, I felt whole again.
Lucky still loved me.
First Prev [Next]

Hello!
I hope we're all doing well!
7/12 correct last time around which was a lot better than i expected, but most importantly, our secondary parlay landed! (Secondary Parlay: Aldrich/Hardy o1.5/2.5 or R3 Start + McKinney/Ribovics ITD + Woodson/Caceres o1.5/2.5 or R3 Starts + Lewis/Nascimento ITD)
Full detailed breakdown here: https://www.reddit.com/MMAbetting/comments/1csfr9o/ufc_fight_night_barboza_v_murphy_fight_predictions/?
Lets hope for another successful event! Tough one though.
(c) - Champ
D/DWCS - Debut/Dana Whites' Contender Series
FLS - Fight Lose Streak
FWS - Fight Win Streak
NS - No Streak
(#x) - Rank in Division
x/3 - Confidence Levels
Lets go!!!
Prelims
Women’s Strawweight
Emily Ducote (-275) (13-8-0, NS) v Vanessa Demopoulos (+220) (10-5-0, NS)
Striking: Ducote throws a lot of volume when she fights, she’s fairly tenacious and is great at stringing together combinations. Demopoulos isn’t too much of a striker, she’s more of a collision waiting to happen, usually throwing heavy then going for takedowns. Because of that, I do think Ducote will be able to easily read those initial attacks coming and retaliate accordingly. Ducote has the mild advantage here.
Wrestling/Grappling: Demopoulos’ main style is grappling, she’s quick to set up submissions off her back, she’s got great flexibility and I think it’ll be dangerous for Ducote to even try to grapple with her. Demopoulos is the more effective grappler here in my opinion, at least in terms of submission aggression.
Cardio: Both are decent but Ducote seems to have the better cardio, especially since she looks relatively okay as the rounds go by, even after throwing a lot of volume.
Prediction: Ducote via UD (1/3)
Bantamweight
Alatengheili (+150) (16-9-2, NS) v Kleydson Rodrigues (-185) (8-3-0, NS)
Striking: A tale of two styles, Alatengheili throws heavy, explosive attacks but usually only when he counters, and he tends to try to lure in his opponents to explode once they make their attack. Rodrigues seems to be more calculated and more diverse with his boxing, often countering and making the right reads and the right attacks to land cleanly against aggressive opponents. Rodrigues is also most likely going to add a lot of kicks in this fight, as that has been quite effective when Gutierrez fought Alatengheili. Both have their own little advantages here, but I like how clean Rodrigues has been, compared to the heavy inaccuracy of Alatengheili, which has been highlighted in the main write up.
Wrestling/Grappling: I mean, Alatengheili is a very good wrestler, but he doesn’t really use it as much as he should. He has the advantage here on paper, but I just don’t know if he is going to be using it in this fight. If he does, then he could absolutely get a win here.
Cardio: It’s a bit hard to say, I kind of want to say Alatengheili has the better cardio here given his style, but it’s just so hard to tell. Make your own judgement on this one perhaps, but it could be a 50/50.
Prediction: Rodrigues via UD (1/3)
Women’s Strawweight
Piera Rodriguez (-175) (9-1-0, NS) v Ariane Carnelossi (+145) (14-3-0, NS)
Striking: Rodriguez has clean strikes in her arsenal and she does string together combinations well, her long jab is awesome and she uses it over and over again, which could then help lead to a takedown. But overall, she seems a lot more educated with her striking than Carnelossi. Carnelossi just has power and a bully kind of style, nothing really clean about her striking at all. Perhaps a tale of two different styles here.
Wrestling/Grappling: It has been clear since the moment I saw this fight was announced, that Rodriguez is going to employ her wrestling against Carnelossi, I don’t think Carnelossi is any good on the ground, and Rodriguez has been shown to time her entries very well. Rodriguez is clearly better in the wrestling department in my opinion.
Cardio: Eh, I’d say Rodriguez has the better cardio here, she’s a lot more experienced in the UFC than Carnelossi so we have seen her in those long, drawn out fights.
Prediction: Rodriguez via UD (1/3)
Middleweight
Abus Magomedov (-250) (25-6-1, 2 FLS) v Warlley Alves (+205) (14-7-0, 3 FLS)
Striking: Whilst Alves is well known for his ridiculous punching power and explosive attacks, I do think the reach advantage of Magomedov stifles a lot of that, as well as gives Magomedov the additional advantage of being able to see things come his way, considering that he fights decently well at range, whereas Alves needs to enter the pocket to land his attacks.
Wrestling/Grappling: This is where Alves should take the fight to win, it’s perhaps the path of least resistance and Alves does have quite a few submission wins under his belt, plus the wrestling could exhaust Magomedov, who has a questionable gas tank (which has hopefully been improved upon).
Cardio: I don’t trust Magomedov’s cardio here, I think he’s still a 1.5 round fighter, so the advantage here in my honest opinion falls to Alves here. This is going to be an interesting aspect of the fight though, because if Magomedov has fixed all of his cardio and pacing problems, he could very well be a dangerous man.
Prediction: Magomedov via KO R2 (1/3)
Women’s Bantamweight
Tamires Vidal (+300) (7-2-0, NS) v Melissa Gatto (-410) (8-2-2, 2 FLS)
Striking: Vidal has a bit of a power and explosiveness advantage here, especially very early on, but Gatto is a bit more well versed and a bit more cleaner when it comes to striking.
Wrestling/Grappling: This is a clear advantage to Gatto, she is very, very good on the ground and if she can completely lock down the movement of Vidal, it could be a long, drawn out fight but ultimately a victory for Gatto.
Cardio: it’s been quite a while since we’ve seen Gatto fight, but we do know that she’s been in decision bouts before, so her cardio isn’t exactly a big issue, whereas Vidal has that style where she needs to get a quick finish or she is going to slow down substantially. Gatto should have the slightly better cardio here, but that time away could prove otherwise.
Prediction: Gatto via UD (1/3)
Light Heavyweight
Oumar Sy (D) (9-0-0, 9 FWS) v Tuco Tokkos (D) (10-3-0, 3 FWS)
Striking: I frankly have no clue who the better striker is here, Sy has a longer reach and that could assist in his striking, but it’s a double debut, I won’t actually know until the fight happens.
Wrestling/Grappling: What I am confident in when it comes to wrestling is the fact that Sy is going to look for takedowns, that’s his bread and butter, he loves getting those takedowns, locking in a body lock or a getting his hooks in, and raining down blows from above, he is vicious once he is able to maintain a ground and pound position.
Cardio: Tokkos is coming in on short notice, so he probably doesn’t have the gas tank for a full blown fight, so expect him to come out swinging in the first round, but after that, it should mostly be Sy being the fresher fighter, considering he’s done all the cardio and conditioning training.
Prediction: Sy via KO R1 (2/3)
Lightweight
Tom Nolan (-450) (6-1-0, NS) v Victor Martinez (+340) (13-5-0, NS)
Striking: The main attraction for Nolan is his striking, he is a dangerous boxer who has a sneaky strong left hand, and Martinez tends to leave that side exposed when he retreats or circles away, which makes Nolan and his reach advantage a bit of a dangerous combination. Martinez is great on the feet too, but he’s been hurt before and is a bit susceptible to follow up shots, something Nolan does well also.
Wrestling/Grappling: I think Nolan is well rounded enough to have the edge in wrestling here, but I only say that before I haven’t seen Martinez grapple yet… so Nolan probably has the advantage here.
Cardio: Tough one to tell… I’m gonna keep it safe and say its possible even, but since both fighters are finishers, I don’t know if it matters too much.
Prediction: Nolan via KO R1 (2/3)
Main Card
Women’s Strawweight
Angela Hill (#12) (-160) (16-13-0, NS) v Luana Pinheiro (#13) (+130) (11-2-0, NS)
Striking: Hill is overall the better and more competent striker, as well as the more pace effective one, whereas Pinheiro is only known for that R1 KO power kind of striking style, so I do think Hill has the advantage here, plus, her Muay Thai is fun to watch so keep an eye on those fun clinch strikes!
Wrestling/Grappling: This is Pinheiro’s only way to win, she’s a very good grappler with awesome throws in her arsenal, but we have been seeing Hill do well at avoiding a lot of the throws that her opponents attempt, her whizzer is fairly good and her instincts to get back to the feet are great. Advantage still falls to Pinheiro here, but Hill shouldn’t be underestimated with her grappling and wrestling.
Cardio: Given that Hill has been in 5 round fights before, and that she rarely fades even after a 3 round war, I think she has the better cardio here, and I mean, we just saw Pinheiro absolutely gas out when she fought Ribas, so there’s that.
Prediction: Hill via UD (1/3)
Bantamweight
Adrian Yanez (-350) (16-5-0, 2 FLS) v Vinicius Salvador (+275) (14-6-0, 2 FLS)
Striking: Yanez has the cleaner boxing, he is awesome at angling away and firing away outside of his opponents effective cone of attack. He could perhaps be in trouble if he gets too reckless and starts hanging around in the pocket too much, but if he’s sticking and moving, he has the advantage here… so, I suppose the advantage is circumstantial but Yanez should be the more effective striker.
Wrestling/Grappling: I mean, since Yanez doesn’t grapple, I’d be inclined to think that Salvador has the better wrestling here, but it kind of feels like a slightly irrelevant thing to talk about. Both fighters are mostly strikers so… this particular category doesn’t matter that much.
Cardio: Again, a tough one to figure out since both fighters are finishers somewhat. I do think Yanez has the ability to do well in all three rounds, but that’s about it.
Prediction: Yanez via KO R2 (1/3)
Welterweight
Ramiz Brahimaj (+170) (10-4-0, NS) v Themba Gorimbo (-205) (12-4-0, 2 FWS)
Striking: This is all Gorimbo here, since Brahimaj both has a massive reach disadvantage, and really is just a good grappler. Gorimbo is also coming off a KO win so that feeling of knocking someone out could be a feeling he might chase this weekend.
Wrestling/Grappling: I’m inclined to say it’s pretty even here, but there is concern on my end surrounding the injury of Brahimaj… is he able to wrestle and grapple as effectively as he could prior to the spinal injury? That will most likely be answered this weekend. Gorimbo is a great wrestler though, he’s solid on the ground and could effectively shut down any submission attacks Brahimaj tries to set up.
Cardio: Two years away, nursing an injury like what Brahimaj has been doing could hamper his cardio in some way. That’ll also be answered this weekend so at the moment, I suppose Gorimbo has better cardio, but still i’m not too confident in saying that.
Prediction: Gorimbo via KO R1 (2/3)
Co-Main Event
Welterweight
Khaos Williams (-125) (14-3-0, NS) v Carlston Harris (+105) (19-5-0, 2 FWS)
Striking: This is all Williams, he is an incredibly powerful striker who is so explosive… I do think he has the possibility of properly testing Harris’ chin this weekend, so keep an eye out on KO props for him.
Wrestling/Grappling: On the other end of this fight, you have Harris who has a grappling advantage and honestly needs to use his grappling in this fight or he’s probably going to eat devastating punches.
Cardio: It kind of depends on who executes their gameplan better… If Williams lands heavy punches and wears down Harris, Harris’s cardio could be seriously sapped. Same as if Harris grapples and removes the explosive output of Williams, it would only drain Williams’ cardio.
Prediction: Harris via Sub R2 (1/3)
Main Event
Featherweight
Edson Barboza (#14) (+125) (24-11-0, 2 FWS) v Lerone Murphy (-150) (13-0-1, 5 FWS FWS)
Striking: This is going to be a fantastic striking fight, first and foremost. You have the power and pure kickboxing technique of Barboza versus the brilliant boxing and fluidity of Murphy. I don’t think there’s a major advantage in this fight either way, we don’t quite know where the ceiling is for Murphy, but we do know that Barboza is one of the best strikers in the division.
Wrestling/Grappling: Whilst both fighters are mainly strikers, both fighters are also extremely good on the ground, with perhaps Barboza having a slight edge given his experience in MMA compared to Murphy who has only recently added some strong wrestling into his skill set.
Cardio: I know that age is a factor here, but I believe Barboza going 5 rounds against Yusuff is proof that he has good enough cardio to push a serious and consistent pace into the championship rounds. We don’t know if Murphy can do that just yet, i guess we’ll find out in this phenomenal main event!
Prediction: Barboza via UD (1/3)
Primary Parlay: Ducote/Demopoulos o2.5 or GTD + (optional Gatto/Vidal o2.5 or GTD) + Nolan/Martinez ITD + Hill/Pinheiro o2.5 or GTD + Barboza/Murphy R3 Starts
Locks of the week: Optional Sy + Nolan + Gorimbo
Alt Bets: Alves KO R1, Pinheiro Sub R2 or 3, Williams KO R1, Murphy KO R1 2 or 3 (combo rounds)
And that's it!
Prediction accuracy as of 2024: 64.6%
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I hope you all have an amazing day, look after yourselves, and enjoy this awesome event!

1) Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs?
I have always been around dogs including growing up with dogs and taking an active role in training and care. Family dogs have included two mutt rescues, two Goldens, and currently two Havanese (which I take care of when they can't travel with my parents).
2) Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a reputable breeder?
I'm open to rescue but would likely need a puppy (as I need to be able to train and socialize early on to get what I'm after)
3) Describe your ideal dog.
A clingy couch potato that doesn't regularly need a lot of stimulation outside of hanging out with me.
4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why?
It never would have been on my quick list, but looking at my needs no breed comes up more than a Bullmastiff. My concerns are the drool (I'm OCD), and with the size with regard to lifespan, food costs, and physical control- I have a bad back, but that's going to be an issue with any size poorly trained dog and most activity will likely be off leash.
I loved our Goldens and either one would fit nicely into my needs (save the long hair). But I'm worried we got lucky with low energy Goldens (they often didn't get daily activity and yet no behavior or health issues)- so because of energy levels they aren't on my list right now.
I like many of the pitbull breeds, they are a great size, I like the idea of combating the image of the big scary pitbull- but like Goldens they aren't on my list because of worries of energy levels.
I'm not inherently opposed to labs.
I always adored Corgis but I don't think they are a match to my needs (barking, energy levels, small).
I don't want to overly worry about energy levels, obviously most dogs out there don't get the ideal activity levels and they do fine. But it also feels risky going with breeds known to be higher energy.
5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do?
Basics- sit/stay/come/heel/bang
6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport?
No
Care Commitments
7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day?
I cannot commit to daily walks or fetch, but I'm home all day (and not WFH) so I will be attentive to pooch's needs and he will always get a lot of attention if not activity. I'm prepared for the fact that no two dogs are alike, and things like activity/engagement levels will adjust over time based on my dogs individual needs and his behavior.
Ideally he would spend all day with me, including multiple visits a week to my parents- where he can take advantage of a fenced yard and socialize with their two Havanese (which he would begin right away).
8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park?
Not a believer in dog parks. I think I mostly answered this question in the previous.
9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly?
Similar to exercise I will respond to his needs. I'm not commiting up front to weekly baths and daily tooth brushing, but if his behavior or the vet indicates an area to focus I will do so. On a regular basis I mostly anticipate brushing weeklyish, nails regularly, ears/teeth etc. as needed. It will be more difficult, but the same stuff I keep up with already on my cat.
Personal Preferences
10) What size dog are you looking for?
It doesn't really matter though I'm not usually into smaller dogs.
11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle?
Barking must be minimal due to apartment living. Shedding and slobber are what they are, like anyone I would prefer zero, some is ok, with the right dog I will learn to love his slobber right? Lol
12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area?
Fairly but I'm a believer that virtually any dog is capable of this with decent training.
Dog Personality and Behavior
13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space?
I already have a cat, he gives me plenty of personal space to fill with a pooch!
14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please?
Eager to please
15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors?
A bark is fine, but it needs to stop quickly both by command or naturally. Window placement means he wouldn't actually have much visibility to the front yard and cannot see people at the door.
16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs?
No, but he will be socialized with other dogs on a regular basis right out of the gate. This is an example of where I would be apprehensive about rescuing.
17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid?
Not that come to mind
Lifestyle
18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone?
Just for quick errands or appointments, an hour or two here or there.
19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog?
No one else in the home.
20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they?
One cat, he has some exposure to adjustments including dogs, and I'm prepared for a slow introduction process. I'm able to block off an entire room for him with his box and he has lots of vertical options (Jackson Galaxy wouldn't be disappointed).
21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly?
No
22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease?
No
23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds?
None that I'm aware of but my vet (family friend) will let me know when I talk breeds with him.
24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live?
Fairly temperate with the odd spike in heat or cold, nothing unusual.
Additional Information and Questions
25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant.
I'm disabled and there is a potential for a service dog. I don't think this route is worth pursuing though as the main physical service that I would benefit from is with waking (one goal with a dog is bringing some schedule and routine to my days), which any dog is inherently going to do. Otherwise the dog would mostly be serving emotional support needs (eg: providing pressure and comfort during panic attacks will be appreciated, but no need for a dog that can like alert to oncoming attacks). With that limited scope it doesn't seem like it would be worth the time and money to pursue, especially with people in much greater need out there. But, I guess I'm curious if anyone thinks that's worth pursuing.
26) Feel free to ask any questions below.
If I'm not mistaken puppy season is well upon us, if I do have to lean more into rescuing and look for a puppy- other than the obvious behavioral signs what should I look for? Are there mixes to avoid, a certain cutoff age I should set for myself, etc?