How to get a boyfriend on miniplanet

I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) For a year, we met when I was 18 and he was 21. My relationship is complicated with him, as we both struggle with our mental illnesses and dealing with school/ work. I’m the only one who to therapy and he used to be but it had gotten expensive for him. Whenever we would have arguments, he was more emotionally charged and more anxious. I am not, I’m more avoidant in conversations because of how he can spaz out sometimes, he’s screamed at me other times because of my tone or aggressiveness (We’re from New York City so it’s a bit of a habit so I get that). And it makes me feel detached a lot of the time because I don’t want to do this with him. I also feel as if he is manipulating me and putting so much onto me in general. We had been on the phone for a while debating about something someone said, a known psychologist . I forgot what his thought was but, I remembered that psychologist from somewhere on social media and I remembered he had some views that I felt were misogynistic and I had said that I thought the guy was a POS out loud. My boyfriend was not too keen on that and said like you don’t have to say it like that, I’m giving him anxiety about me taking about another man’s conservative views and character. To be honest, I genuinely don’t even know why he was upset about it but it’s nothing to me to apologize because I can get excited or have an aggressive tone, it does nothing for me not to apologize.
Next day, I had upset him about saying something he did not want to hear and I was like trying to tell him later on I didn’t mean to offend him, and he groans loudly and tells me he didn’t want to talk about it. (He said he didn’t want ven care about what I said.) I felt some type of way about it because why couldn’t you just say that you did not care in the first place instead of having a mannerism that would suggest otherwise?
In the morning, he was going to work and I had brought it up to him how I felt. I had no attitude, I did not have a reason to pick a bone with him or argue and he just begins to start panicking and crying, saying that I was selfish and I should have never brought it up in the morning (which, that his boundary I did cross that but I thought it was acceptable because he had done the same thing before when he spoke to me about his anxiety and I had to sleep but he wanted to clear it.)
He goes to work and he’s just having a breakdown and I was on the phone with him, I genuinely don’t even know what to do when he’s just breaking down the way he is because I don’t know why he is crying like this in the first place. It sounds horrible. He tried to quit his job because of the stress of it all (me included) and it’s been bad ever since. Yesterday, he screamed at me on the phone because I was telling him how I feel in general about this and how I cannot always be there for him (like drop everything). I just feel so invalidated in how I feel (I’ve always acknowledged how he feels in general whilst saying what i think too. I’ll say ‘I understand how you feel (lengthy part to empathize) and i also feel like (my part.)’ and now his family hates me because I’m making him feel this way and he’s screaming. I’ve tried to go on a break with him before but he always persuades me to not ‘break’ up with him. He kept throwing jabs saying, “No one loves me… You don’t even care. You don’t feel bad, I feel betrayed by you.” I don’t know what to do, my therapist is gone for the week and I always look up to here and ask her if I had been wrong about anything I’ve done in my relationship, she says no but sometimes I feel like I need others words of wisdom, especially since I am younger and he is my first boyfriend. Even today, I had called him after and he had texted me something almost at 12 and I just said I saw your text but I didn’t know if I should respond to it. And he got angry at me, saying I keep disrespecting that boundary and last night should not be in my mouth. I tried to apologize but he said to leave him alone for the rest of the day. Am I wrong for being the way that I had been?
tl;dr: I wasn’t there for my boyfriend’s panic attack because of previous experiences with him and he resents me for it and he keeps screaming at me. i don’t know how we can move on.

My boyfriend and I (both 21) have been living together for almost three years now. We have a pretty good relationship with the typical bumps in the road stuff etc. 1-2 months ago my boyfriend applied and got a job that he would have to move away for, and did not discuss with me about it at all beforehand. That was obviously super hurtful. The job is only an hour away from me but he has to live on the job site and can only leave 1 day a week now. In the transition period of it i was seeing him 3-4 nights a week and that was working good, but starting this week I will only see him one night a week. I have abandonment trauma which is extremely triggered by all of this and I don’t know how I can possibly cope with once a week few hour long visits. I think any advice I will get for this situation is that it is not going to work but I need hope that it will. We have made it clear to each other that we still love each other the same but I worry that will change. Thanks for reading.

when i was in like 7th grade and like 12 years old (im 16 now by the way) i dated this girl on and off
and when i say on and off i mean like 5 times in the span of 2 years (2020-2022) in which they broke up with me and then asked me out again 5 times
back then i was stupid and i went back every time bc i thought we were in love
i wont go into detail about the relationship because 1) i have zero care for how i was treated back then anymore, im over it 2) it was a lot and id be here forever even if i did want to talk about it
but to sum it up all of my friends absolutely hated this person and were mad i was dating them and were over the moon when we broke up for good
after a couple months after our last breakup we did what has always happened after we broke up and we formed a friendship again, i went shopping with them and got food with them, car rides with them etc
in 2023 i started dating the most amazing man i could have ever asked for, he has truly been a blessing in my life and has really changed my life for the better, and to top it all off he has really shown me how a healthy relationship should be. He has shown me so much kindness and has gone above and beyond for me and i'm so appreciative of him and all his kindness, he has taught me real love
when me and him started dating i stopped being around this ex

1. because now that i was dating my amazing boyfriend i realized i used to hang around them in some hope they'd show me that temporary love again (i was very blind and easily controlled 👎)
   
2. because now that i had realized this and was finally aware of how awful the situation had been and was now completely over them i realized they have always made me somewhat uncomfortable
   

and 3. who the hell wants to be around there toxic ex?? especially when i'm now in a serious relationship? being around an ex you were long term with is just lowkey weird, if my bf was friends with an ex he was long term with, even if completely over them, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't weird me out and make me uncomfortable, i respect my partner and he respects me
anyways, my ex hadn't tried to reach out to me since and they honestly haven't crossed my mind in half a year i thought (and hoped) that was the end of the story
TILL RECENTLY my friend group from one of my school activities is also somewhat friends with my ex, and this has never bugged me, but apparently it has bugged my ex strongly.
because half a year later since i stopped talking to this ex apparently they have started complaining to my friend in this shared group about how they • feel excluded when im around • feel i've been ignoring them • and how they believe this is all my boyfriends fault, and that my boyfriend is "controlling" who i talk to
its escalated because they brought it up to my friend again and said they were going to "confront" me about it?????
this kinda happened a couple months ago when they asked this friend if i dating my current boyfriend and trying to get info, but my friend said they should stop being weird.
Now they are back at it worse than before??
why can't they just let me go and leave me alone?
to be perfectly clear my boyfriend is the furthest thing from controlling, and im very offended that my ex is 1) trying to bad mouth him and 2) painting him as controlling and assuming im only destined for toxic manipulative controlling relationships like the one i was in with them
i know im better than that now and i think its wild they believe there has to be some outside force keeping me from talking to them
the reality is it was completely my own decision to stop talk talking to them, and i've been very happy with my decision
my boyfriend doesn't know about the current situation i haven't told him because hearing that someone is painting him to be controlling would break his heart, he is so kind and it's made me absolutely livid that my ex is so immature they have to shit talk my boyfriend to feel better about themselves
but should i tell him? and besides telling him, what do i do about the situation??
do i confront my ex and tell them to get a grip and stop being an obsessive creep? or is that what they want and should i just not ingage in the situation at all
PLEASE help me 🙏🙏☹️

My(28m) new gf(23f) have been dating for just over a month now. She often posts Snapchat stories of selfies and the pictures are very rarely provocative at all and are just cute mirror selfies or pictures of herself on the beach. We usually lay down in bed together at night and throw on a movie and she likes to occasionally scroll through her phone. I happen to glance over at times just out of curiosity and noticed some of the responses she gets to her pictures. Some examples are dudes saying "hot", "sexy" or "you could get it". She claims she never responds to them and I believe her, but it sort of bothers me that she doesn't do anything about it neither. I asked her why she even bothers keeping those people on her Snapchat, and why not respond to them saying you have a boyfriend or anything to deter them from saying weird shit. She says she doesn't like deleting them because some of them are her friends, which alright I get it but why are your friends being creepy like that? And coming back to the point where I ask her to tell them she has a man, she says she doesn't like telling random people about her life. I got a little bit upset and maybe overreacted a bit. Im a bit of an over thinker and I get in my head and my minds trying to convince me that maybe she enjoys the compliments? I tell her everyday how gorgeous she is and how lucky I am to have met her, but I understand it can be different coming from just one person. We had a shitty argument about it and I wasn't sure if I was asking for too much.

Hello, a few days back my boyfriend bought a digitizer and i decided to try it using the Krita drawing program. As a traditional artist who loves watercolour,ink and alcohol markers i find digital art a bit confusing especially the brushes/textures. They are so many and i cant decide which one to use. Any advice on how to get used to the brushes, colours etc? Maybe there are some brushes you could recommend to me? Thank you(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

when i was in like 7th grade and like 12 years old (im 16 now by the way) i dated this girl on and off
and when i say on and off i mean like 5 times in the span of 2 years (2020-2022) in which they broke up with me and then asked me out again 5 times
back then i was stupid and i went back every time bc i thought we were in love
i wont go into detail about the relationship because 1) i have zero care for how i was treated back then anymore, im over it 2) it was a lot and id be here forever even if i did want to talk about it
but to sum it up all of my friends absolutely hated this person and were mad i was dating them and were over the moon when we broke up for good
after a couple months after our last breakup we did what has always happened and we formed a friendship again, i went shopping with them and got food with them, car rides with them etc
in 2023 i started dating the most amazing man i could have ever asked for, he has truly been a blessing in my life and has really changed my life for the better, and to top it all off he has really shown me how a healthy relationship should be. He has shown me so much kindness and has gone above and beyond for me and i'm so appreciative of him and all his kindness
when me and him started dating i stopped being around this ex

1. because now that i was dating my amazing boyfriend i realized i used to hang around them in some hope they'd show me that temporary love again (i was very blind and manipulated 👎)
   
2. because now that i had realized this and was finally aware of how awful the situation had been and was now completely over them i realized they have always made me somewhat uncomfortable
   

and 3. who the hell wants to be around there toxic ex?? especially when i’m now in a serious relationship? being around an ex you were long term with is just lowkey weird, if my bf was friends with an ex he was long term with, even if completely over them, i’d be lying if i said it wouldn’t weird me out and make me uncomfortable
anyways, my ex hadn't tried to reach out to me since and they honestly haven't crossed my mind in half a year i thought (and hoped) that was the end of the story
TILL RECENTLY my friend group from one of my school activities is also somewhat friends with my ex, and this has never bugged me, but apparently it has bugged my ex strongly.
because half a year later since i stopped talking to this ex apparently they have started complaining to my friend in this shared group about how they • feel excluded when im around • feel i've been ignoring them • and how they believe this is all my boyfriends fault, and that my boyfriend is "controlling" who i talk to
it escalated because they brought it up to my friend again and said they were going to "confront" me about it?????
this kinda happened a couple months ago when they asked this friend if i dating my boyfriend and trying to get info, but my friend said they should stop being weird. Now they are back at it worse than before??
why can't they just let me go and leave me alone
to be perfectly clear my boyfriend is the furthest thing from controlling, and im very offended that my ex is 1) trying to bad mouth him and 2) painting him as controlling and assuming im only destined for toxic manipulative controlling relationships like the one i was in with them
i know im better than that now and i think its wild they believe there has to be some outside force keeping me from talking to them
the reality is it was completely my own decision to stop talk talking to them, and i’ve been very happy with my decision
my boyfriend doesn’t know about the current situation
i haven’t told him because hearing that someone is painting him to be controlling would break his heart, he is so kind and it’s made me absolutely livid that my ex is so immature they have to shit talk my boyfriend to feel better about themselves
but should i tell him? and besides telling him, what do i do about the situation??
do i confront my ex and tell them to get a grip and stop being an obsessive creep? or is that what they want and should i just not ingage in the situation
PLEASE help me 🙏🙏

I just need to talk about this, we've been trying to conceive for over a year, which in reality isn't a long time, I know not to give up hope and it might happen, I got told there is a chance I can get pregnant due still having some period ( twice a year ish) for the past 4 months I've been tracking my ovulation, and last month I did get my period but I haven't ovulated once, I thought having my period meant I must have ovulated but I guess not, I keep testing. I'm only 22 but everyone in my family has had kids before that age, so I feel behind, I feel numb, I feel I'm trying so hard so when my sister told me she is pregnant, when she was on the pill, completely unexpected and unplanned out a pain in my heart, I'm happy for her but hurt for us, I have a big family and ATM everyone's having kids, my dad, my sister, 3 of my cousins, people at work, I'm constantly around people having kids and falling pregnant so easily. I don't want to hurt anyone with this post who may be older and trying for longer, but in my family it's unheard of. My boyfriend's parents are asking and keep saying how excited for grandchildren they are and I just don't know how to deal with it all

I got a new serving job in April. At the beginning we agreed on an equal t*p pool, as we were told it would be a small staff and rotating positions.
We ended up not rotating and reevaluated the pool, so servers pool 70% and t*p out 30%.
Support has gone up in arms over this. They sent out a email, saying either we need to switch it back or they have to get rotated into serving shifts? The later is obviously only managements decision.
I like the idea of being able to do something different in the industry, and i do believe often times support is underpaid. But i am doing so much work for my tables and usually when i need support i don’t see them and its just faster to do it myself. I think serving comes with a lot more responsibility and i appreciate that they bus and stock but that is not 50% of the work done at each table. Even if they did 50% of the work in general (they dont), sidework is simply worth less. I had one thing boxed up for me last Saturday. ONE. i didnt have any assistance resetting my tables, its a small section so i dont ask, and its fine. i am also stocking and bussing and doing full table resets when i have time. Not to mention ive been being given the biggest section every weekend and am bringing in almost twice as much as the sever in the smallest section, and im not even complaining about the server pool.
Its so entitled to me and it makes me so mad but i cant tell if im just being greedy and selfish, that maybe this is an ethos all restaurants should work towards. when i was support i literally had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet, and that doesnt seem fair when servers are walking home with $500 in their pocket. So i do understand it. But part of it too is now like i did my time as support and being poor im ready to work less and live my life
I dont know. As support i was thankful for my t*ps and never complained, just worked my way up. and i had a lot more responsibility at my job where i was support than the support staff im working with.
I just dont known what to think, and feel like theres no way to verbalize how i feel without hurting their feelings and i don’t want to do that.
my manager made a comment alluding to the fact she set everything up so we would be doing the same amount of work, and didnt outright say she alluded to her thinking it should be equal. I also kind of feel pressured just to agree which is against the statute in my state. i dont even know why support is allowed to have a say in this, legally.
If anything i should maybe find a new job. ive been thinking about it. like if they want to do something special they can but we are already in a lower paying industry for the most part and i want to live an comfortable life if i have the skill set to do so. And i know that i do. I made a looot of money at my last serving job but the culture was incredibly toxic and had a bad reputation in the industry (racist owners, the one we worked with directly would literally growl at us and throw tempertantrums. one time her boyfriend had to physically remove her from the building because she wanted to fire our dishwasher for not speaking english) , i was always embarassed to work there.
does this pool model even seem sustainable if we go back? should i stick it out and see? it is a new restaurant with a chef with a great reputation in my city so its a good job, or itll look good on my resume is what i mean by that.

Throw away account to remain anonymous. I ‘31F’ have been in a long term relationship with my Bf ‘41M’ for a little over 8 years. I love him, he is.. maybe was.. my person. We are not perfect and have had our fair share of disagreements, but he is the love of my life. The problem is that I recently found out he had been lying to me about our finances. He has about 2 months worth of bills saved up in the bank at the moment. Which honestly would not be that bad, if it wasn’t for the fact that he makes just a little less than 6 figures, and that his work fluctuates to the point that he is sometimes not working for weeks sometimes months at a time. While I work a standard 9-5 and make less than 30k a year. Now this isn’t the actual problem, we could have worked that part out. We could have sat down, made a budget, look at things we could cut out of our spending even if just temporarily to build up his savings. The problem is he lied to me about it. He also didn’t realize that he had lied to me about it because the last time I asked was a month or so ago and he told me had as much in his account as he does now. (It should have grown as he has had steady work, and was even on a 3 week work trip where he worked almost every day). And while I would not have been thrilled about this, I would not have been considering breaking up with him if he had just been honest about it. I know this probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but this is not the first time he has lied to me. When I moved here (I grew up in a different state and moved to his state about 6 hours away from where grew up, about 5 years ago) he told me on the way to his moms house to meet her, that he had been lying about living with roommates, and had actually been living with his mom and off and on his nephews. He had told me he was embarrassed, and told me before going to his moms in case she mentioned it. While a bit odd, him living with his mom would not have bothered me. I feel like it’s smart to live with family if you get along with them well enough to do so, and don’t really have a reason/need to live by yourself or with roommates instead. I was deeply hurt that he had lied to me about this. That is not all he had lied to me about. He has also betrayed me in other ways. Him and I while not in an open relationship we do have the occasional ménage à trois. We have rules set up for these occasions as there were misunderstandings, and problems that arose when we were doing them before we became serious. One of the rules is that we have to ask before talking to the person we’re thinking of brining into the bedroom. This is simple enough. Well a few years ago he had a crush on a specific girl let’s call her Kyah ‘00 F’ idr how old she was at the time (him having crushes does not bother me, as I think it is normal to be attracted to people even in a serious relationship). However whenever she was brought up he would start acting weird. I tried getting him to just admit that he was attracted to Kyah as I know what it looks like when he is attracted to someone, and he kept saying things like “it’s not like that” or “I don’t expect anything to happen” and so on. Well we were at a concert that has a pretty big following, think kiss army or dead heads, type of following, so a bunch of us were staying in the same hotel. Kyah wasn’t staying there, but she was there for the parties that happen in the hallways and random rooms. Well she ended up in a room with a friend of ours. Nbd we don’t judge. While this was going on I decided I wanted to go back our (mine and my boyfriends hotel room, which was in this hotel) and take my contacts out as they were bugging me, and to change into comfier clothes. Well I decided instead to text my boyfriend to come back to our room for some fun and it was our anniversary. Well he brought Kyah back with him. He did not ask if this was okay before asking her or bringing her to our room. When I was surprised that she was there and said something like “oh why is she here” Kyah responded to Nik saying “see I told you” as though they had discussed her coming back for this. I then asked about her being in our friends room a little bit ago and Kyah stated “nothing happened, we just took pictures. (My boyfriend and this other friend do photography for these concerts). Something to note about me is that I have pretty bad anxiety, and have trouble sticking up for myself. This gave me a bit of a panic attack, and I ended up kind of freezing and going along with her being there a bit. I was extremely uncomfortable the whole time. We did not do much, and I did finally grow a pair after making out and some other little things, to point out that her underwear was inside out. She stated the other friend she had been with didn’t put them on right. I then said “I thought nothing happened?” She then responded “well he couldn’t get it up”. To which I finally stated that I was not comfortable and that I did not want to continue this. My boyfriend then took her back to her hotel as she was staying at a different one, and I proceeded to take a viscously hot shower and cry as I felt kind of violated. Yes I should have said something earlier. Yes I should have put my foot down. However my boyfriend knows I have anxiety and will go along with things when I’m feeling that way, and he broke the rule. He did not ask. He also didn’t ask her about being in our friend’s hotel room because he “didn’t think she would do anything like that with him”. We fought about this, about him breaking the rules, about him lying about liking her and wanting to invite her to our bedroom, about “not thinking” about her trying to f*ck one of our friends. This went on for a long time. I ultimately forgave him and we decided to work on communication, and build the trust back up. We also no longer invite anyone else to our bedroom as I know longer feel okay with that. With all of that being said, and the recent lie about our finances, combined with the other lies, and the situation with Kyah (which that is not all of the lies or betrayals that he has put me through but I don’t have the time or energy to go through all of them) has me feeling like an idiot for continuously forgiving him and expecting things to change. He even admitted last night that he would not trust me if the roles were reversed. Now I don’t know what to do. As I said before, I love him, and while I get we all make mistakes, this has been a recurring theme in our relationship, and it makes me sad to have to keep doing the work to trust him again. I don’t want to break up, but I also don’t want to keep doing this. I just love him so much. So should I break up with my boyfriend?

Hi everyone, I thought it would be better to come here and get advice from strangers rather than close people who may be biased. For context, I'm a (23F) and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years is (24M). Here lately, he accuses me of always being mad about something. I know in my mind, that's not true, but it may come across that way. Some examples of things I've gotten "mad" about:
•I'm a very adventurous person, and always have been. It's one of my passions and My partner has known this for years now, and whenever I suggest going to do something like going to the park, hiking, etc. there has always been an excuse for it. Or i get told it's gonna happen but never does. We've rarely if at all went to do something like that. Naturally, I'd like to share something I enjoy doing with my partner..but it just hasn't been considered that that's something that makes me happy, it feels like.
•Plans always change & feel like I have to take them with a grain of salt. At some point it starts to feel like a lie. He tells me, we're gonna go do something together, then at the last minute he tries to talk his way out of it..and he gets upset when I act like I don't believe him when he does make plans. 9/10 things that he's gotten me excited about, for days or even weeks, does not happen. We mainly just sit in the house.
•I don't feel listened to at all. There are more occasions than not, where i'll get excited about something, want to talk about something and i'm just ignored because he's on his phone, talked over, or I barely get a response.
•And lastly, it all ties in to I feel like there's no romance, or consideration when it comes to me. Those are things that are really important to me in a relationship and no matter how much I express my needs and wants, it's brushed off..
These are just a few examples of things I get hurt and frustrated by- I wouldn't even say angry, but I'm sure I do come off as annoyed, after this long of trying to solve these issues. He tells me and begs me to express my feelings whenever I try to just keep things to myself, but i really don't know why. Because it's like he sits there ready to tell me why my feelings are wrong, and how I'm just always mad about something, and can never be happy, and hate my life etc. And I never ever yell, raise my voice, attack him as a person, or really communicate in anyway other than calmly. But these things always ends in him yelling at me and tearing me down, deflecting the issue, etc.
He's started making me feel like i'm just a shitty girlfriend and ungrateful. I'm not one to try and change my partner, but there's just something in me telling me that the things I hope for, are just normal things in a healthy relationship. And that I deserve to be listened to and not to be made out like a bad person for it.

Are these things worth working on? Are they worth even talking about? I don't know how at this point

TL;DR : BF begs me to express my feelings, but then says i'm always mad about something. how can i do that the correct way?

I (25f) live with my boyfriend (26m) for almost about a year, today I was really having a bad morning, I didn't sleep at all last night and this is the 2nd year anniversary of my best friends passing. I took a bit longer this morning because I wasn't feeling okay, so I tried to calm myself down and not make it a mood in the morning for him (because if I say something negative or complain about something in the morning, he gets really upset because mornings are sacred to him). I asked him "can you please throw away the food on the plates please?" I didn't do it last night because I was feeling sick and went to bed early. Usually we have a bus that picks us up around 6:25 and 6:30, I looked at the time and it was 6:30, so I shouted from the bathroom "is the bus here yet?" And he didn't reply so i shouted again but I was ready and making my way out of the room. I hear him shouting "the bus is here!! Shit I was watching memes" I made ir out of the room and he is rushing and I see the lights still on, the ac still running, the curtains still open, and made me a bit upset, so I rushed and turned everything off, except the ac because he had the remote next to him, and I see the curtains and I asked him to close them (he sees me do that every morning) and sees me "nag" about it. Well we were running down the stairs and I was a bit annoyed and I was like "you couldn't close the curtains and the lights" and he said something like "don't complain about this right now" something like that (we were already outside and I was ahead of him) We were in the bus and I was down still, not because of what happened in the morning but because of my friend. He asked me in the bus if I was okay and I said "no, I'll tell you later why" (because I didn't wanna spoil his morning) We got to school and then he asked why and I said, it wasn't about him, I had a tough morning, feeling tired and sad. He asked why sad and jumped to the conclusion that it was because of the "dishes and curtains" and I said "well its because of my friend but I am a bit upset, the stuff in the morning just added to my feeling" and then he got really upset, I cant remember what he said afterwards but I said "a child, I have to tell you everything" He was fuming after that and started shouting, saying that he can't believe I am like this because of some "dishes and curtains" and he said I was selfish, he is so stressed (mind I have asked him multiple times what's wrong, please tell me, he always says it's nothing), he's saying how he can't believe I am like this, so selfish, he's been stressing and I am upset for some dishes and curtains, he was yelling at that point and I just started crying, trying to talk over him because he wouldn't hear me out, at one point I just said ew, because of the way he was yelling and acting, I was already very upset and my emotions were everywhere, I was overwhelmed. I said eww, I can't believe you're yelling at me like this, and just left the room... he left to his class and now he said this was the last straw, that I showed him I have no respect for him and what he's done, after everything... I cant read his mind, he says he's not stressed and he reassures me he's not, but at the end, he is. We have a trip coming up and I feel it is something very stressful, I get it, but today I was just tired and sad, I didn't mean to make him feel a certain way. I feel like I can't complain about something because he takes it very personal. AITAH?

Her friend group from her hometown is a mix of guys and girls which is the same as mine from home, and they all sleepover at one guys house often. I wouldn't have a problem with this normally, however she got drunk and got with him at two of these sleepovers before I met her around a year ago. The same guy also was getting with one of her friends while she had a bf and they are still dating and he doesn't know. (This is the main reason why I don't like the situation). This guy seems to have gotten with most of the girls in the friend group at some point or another. My gf has been extremely upfront and honest and hasn't given me reasons not to trust her and we both love each other. I've made it known that I'm a little uncomfortable with her sleeping at his house but ultimately it's her call and I can't control what she does. She constantly keeps me updated and snaps me while she's over there and says that she sleeps on the couch with her girl friends. She says that his house is pretty much the only house her friends hangout at when they are home and that they just usually sleepover there since they are drinking and can't drive back. But around a week later she ended up sleeping there with her friends when she wasn't even drinking. I'm trying not to be a jealous boyfriend and cause problems because I do trust her, but I can't help feeling a little uncomfortable with this and that it is a little disrespectful. I have no history with the girls that I hangout with and would not put her in this kind of situation. How would you handle this situation? Please advise.

Long story short I met this guy 3 years ago and we went on 1 date together. We talked on and off since then we’ve always liked each other since our date and he’s been crazy about me ever since but I was in a tough situation and wasn’t the right time for me to date. Fast forward to now we have been frequently seeing each other for about 4 months now. We’ve already said we love each other because we’ve known each other so long and wanted this so bad that we just are 100% sure of one another and we connect so well. I see myself marrying this man he treats me amazing and he’s waited for me for so long I know how much he cares about me because he proves it every single day. He asked me to be his girlfriend early on this time around and I said no because of my anxiety I need to get to know a person more. 4 months later I still haven’t made it official with him and I feel like the reason is so dumb that I don’t even want to tell him. He said he will always wait for me and be patient but I know it’s killing him inside because he wants me to be his girlfriend more than anything. The reason is literally because I’m scared to meet his family. I feel like once I make it official everyone will want to meet me and my family will want to meet him and that also scares me. Anything family related has always made my anxiety sky rocket that I avoid any and all situations that I can. Every family I’ve met in my life has liked me a lot though I’m very polite and sweet all the time. I’m 25 so I’ve obviously dated and met peoples families before I even moved in with a guy in the past with his family but once I turned 25 I feel like my social anxiety has gotten worse in some ways. I care so much about this man and don’t want anyone else but it’s hard for me to take that step forward. Before this I lived on my own with an ex boyfriend so being back at my parents and this guy living with his parents still makes me anxious that if I ever want to see him regularly I have to go over there and socialize with his family and feel like I have to impress people and that exhausts me. We have been getting hotels everytime we see each other or just go out on dates but it’s getting pricey. I have been hard on myself about this because I don’t know what I’m so scared of and I know once I force myself it won’t turn out as bad like it always does and I’ll wonder what I was scared of. I want to start my life with this guy seriously but it’s like what comes with dating someone after that scares me plus he has a 3 year old and I’m taking baby steps with that too. I’ve already met his daughter and things are good with that at least. But I need advice on how to overcome my anxiety with this. All I take are some supplements to help with it but it has ruined my whole life for me and I’ve missed out on so many opportunities and I hate it.

Hi yall, I am having the worst anxiety I’ve ever had in my life. It is crippling and consuming me for the past week or so. My boyfriend left to go climb Denali in Alaska about a week ago. He doesn’t have any service, and people getting seriously hurt or dying on the mountain isn’t unheard of. I have been extremely anxious about this, I cry every day, it consumes my thoughts all day, i imagine his funeral, how I could swing it with work if I need to fly up to Alaska if he gets hurt, how long it would take for help to get to him if something happened, all the things I wish he knew, i have no appetite, i feel nauseous, I can’t sleep, and it’s manifesting in my dreams. I keep having dreams that something bad happens to him, and I wake in the middle of the night not being able to tell if it’s real or a dream. So I end of frantically checking my phone for whatever I dreamed about. I frequently wake up in the morning not being able to tell if I dreamed something or it was real, even before this. This all might seem silly. I don’t know how to stop worrying constantly. Then I think ‘what if my existential worrying is actually secretly manifesting something bad to happen’ and then I worry about that that if something happens it’s because I put it out there into the universe I miss him so much, he’s gone for 18 days, never been apart that long. How do I stop worrying and being anxious about his safety?? I’m really struggling here. It’s impacting my each day. I have a therapy appointment but not until next week. Any advice?

Hi! This is my first post after lurking here for a few weeks and I wanted to share my SP journey to hopefully inspire some of you, as many of your stories have inspired myself.
I'm gonna give you some background on myself, so you can see what my starting point was. I'm currently 24 and in the past I didn't have great successes when it comes to dating. After much time, therapy and introspection, I realized that I used to whole-heartedly believe that I was ugly, unlovable and not chosen by anyone.
In august 2022 I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because he was not the person I wanted to be with. I actually never really felt attraction to him but I believed that no one was ever going to be interested in me, so I dated him. This breakup was a huge milestone for me because, at least for a period of time, I was confident and believed I deserved much more.
After just 2 weeks of the breakup, I met my current SP through some old friends I reconnected with (100% sure I manifested him in the perfect timing). Fast-forward some months, we started dating. I was absolutely elated, as he was my dream guy and felt an unmatched connetion. However, I used to question why he was dating me if he was so handsome and I felt like he could do so much better than me. I often repeated to my friends that sometimes it was really hard to believe that he was my boyfriend.
You can guess how that ended right? He started acting hot and cold and eventually dumped me out of nowhere. I was obviously devastated and in a really bad mental space for MONTHS. I'm not gonna go into details, but he turned into a whole different person (as I perceived him, assuming basically the worst of him).
Now it's been almost 1 year since the breakup. I've done a lot of healing and no longer have those negative assumptions about me (mainly, even though I can sometimes slip). I even went on dates but I didn't like no one, up until a week ago when I decided that I wanted him back. To cut out the crap and be honest with myself. I don't care what other people tell me or "should" do, I admitted that I wanted HIM. So I decided to give it all for just 1 month. Actually apply the law consistently, instead of just one day and the next feeling horrible about myself and his vision of me (which is what had happened months ago when I tried).
I basically decided that he is coming back, that he is my boyfriend and we are in a happy relationship like the one we used to have on the first months of dating. I started noticing my thoughts and reject those that engaged in the old story (such as having arguments with him in my mind, relieving hurtful conversations, analyzing his supposedly "avoidant" behaviour... you know the gist). Instead of relieving good memories, which was what I often did, I started imagining new future memories. I specifically created a memory of him and me in his kitchen, him telling me he loves me and kissing me. I play out this scene for as long as I can until I fall asleep, but I'm not rigid with it, meaning that if I feel like imagining something else, I do. Whenever I have time and I feel in disbelief, I just robotically affirm some sentences for a minute (like he and I are a couple, he loves me, etc).
However, I think that the most important part for me (and most difficult) was ditching the old story, since I'm very used to think about it (I have been doing it for 12 months lol). The key for me is reminding that that was the past, but now it doesn't matter. That I'm not the girl I used to be, I'm safe now and I get everything I want. No need to stress, no need to worry. Everything is working out. The same applies for him: he is not the guy he used to be, he is the guy I actually want him to be.
And now for the actual results. I want to remind you: I have been doing this for just 1 week and a half. And probably not perfectly. But the results have been FAST. I'm still quite in awe at how things are playing out.
Quick context: I have a spot in a parking garage really close to his parents' house (he doesn't live there anymore, but I know that he goes to have lunch there every day). In months, never have I run into him accidentally, despite going by his parents' house every day at roughly the same time as him. I always just saw his car parked. In this week that has passed, the day after starting to seriously manifest him I was him going inside the house (he didn't see me, though). A couple of days later, I saw him driving in the street. A couple of days later, I run into his mum (who btw loves me). I chat with her and she tells me that he isn't seeing anyone, and she is telling him to invite me and he says he'll do so someday. Today (also a couple of days later), I actually run into him and we talk.
The end result has still not played out in my 3D, but I KNOW I'm getting there eventually. I'm just shocked and how much movement I have been getting in just 1 week of manifesting, without me lifting a finger. Just deciding that he is my boyfriend and truly believing it (after changing my negative beliefs too).
I want to remind you that the law is absolutely real and you will get whathever you want. At first I felt completely crazy and delusional in beliving he is my boyfriend, but I think it's a type of discomfort you need to get through if you wanna get your desire. Just keep it to yourself and have faith, don't let others interfere with their opinions. Remember, it's your life no theirs.
I hope this has inspired someone and I'll be sure to answer any comments! I look forwards to having a discussion here :)

Hi, I am f21 and live with my first bf of 3 years m25 and his two roommates (m26, m31). We are pretty good friends since moving in with each other despite not knowing each other when we did in the beginning - It was also the first time I lived out of home and with a partner (our relationship was long distance primarily before that and we met on a game). We often hang out with m26 and often smoke weed with m26 and his gf. Sometimes m31 will smoke weed with us too, but very rarely. He also sometimes joins us in board games and drinks.
Me and m31 get along fine I think, he is nice to me and has even given me bits of food off his dinner plate even (my boyfriend is always with me btw as I have a disability and tend to be home basically 24/7 as he studies and works online). He will often insist even if I say no at first, so I just try a little and say thank you cause I feel bad for saying no. My bf doesn’t mind as idk he just didn’t care I assume, but when I had mentioned in passing to a family member they said that it was weird in addition to other things. Oh, me and m31 are both autistic too. I am diagnosed however while he is not, but I assume he is as he says he thinks so. My bf has said that m31 in passing has said I am attractive and have a fit body which my bf told me later, but he just laughed it off. So, I guess I didn’t really care? I am not sure if that was inappropriate or not, I am also sorry if I sound very stupid in not knowing these things. I told my family member another thing. He has also called me adorable when we were drinking and smoking with m26, his gf(f24) and my bf in front of them, but no one really like did anything so I assumed that was also ok. My replies are just always awkward because of my bad social skills but most people don’t really say or care I guess. I literally don’t know how to reply in those moments most of the time. I usually just fake laugh bc that’s what I do when I don’t know what to do or say when someone is talking to me. He said it because another night we were doing board games again I had started talking about a lot of different dog breeds because I know a lot about so many. I am not sure what brought that memory up when we were all talking though as it was kind of random. His gf has also said I am so I just thought it was the same as that.
Is his behaviour ok? my family member says that she would feel uncomfortable if she were me
sorry for the bad writing
Thank you

Well hi there! How's the weekend been treating you?
Mine's been alright, but that's not what you're here for is it?
You saw the title on this post and now you're all curious right?
I bet you're wondering what boyfriend stuff includes? Let's start with:

• Getting texted back regularly with an option for phone calls!
  
• Going out on dates with possible holding hands or making out!
  
• I'll make you laugh with all sorts of jokes from the sophisticated cynicism, cutting sarcasm to childish fart jokes I can do it all!
  
• You can get home cooked dinners! And breakfast too if I'm working overnights!
  
• You'll get all sorts of attention and compliments!
  
• I'm emotionally available and completely over my ex's!
  
• Flowers!
  

....and so much more!
Sounds pretty great right?
But who am I?
I'm a nearly middle aged divorced ex stand up comic that's worked himself into full on burnout working in hotels for the last twenty years. It's made into someone that's very empathetic and caring while still being to be cold as ice when needed.
In my free time I'm kind of a traditional nerdy white guy. Gaming, cartoons (not anime though), science fiction, detective stories, alternative history, sketch comedy, various sitcoms, hiking, cooking and mowing the lawn occupy my off hours. I also tried getting back into writing again, but it's been challenging.
Now it's your turn! PM me and we can start planning the first date!

weve been together over a year. i would say our relationship is mostly positive, but when it gets bad, it gets really bad. i grew up with an angry, narcissistic, alcoholic father so i cant stand when my bf starts to show some of the same characteristics. he acts immature in arguments, usually arguments start because he says something hurtful, or if hes angry about something unrelated he puts it all on me. he gives me attitude like an angsty teenage boy shows his mother, he uses sarcasm, he plays the blame game with me, and just acts super disrespectful like a child. im a very sensitive, anxious and reactive person, so i have a tendency to overexplain and pour my heart out during the argument, BUT i never ever get disrespectful. im very good at choosing my words carefully and avoiding the mind games when i argue. from there it just escalates and escalates and gets worse and worse until finally he admits hes wrong, he feels super guilty for a few days, comes back apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
heres the catch, he NEVER says that he’ll change. he recognizes and acknowledges that he hurts me sometimes, but when he apologizes he basically just says “ive ruined it all” “i know im such a terrible boyfriend” “i dont deserve you” “this isnt fair to you”
i end up being the proactive partner in the relationship all the time. sometimes i feel like i wear the pants and im the man in the relationship. i start searching up things online, i started going to therapy, i send him articles and i ask him “how can we fix this? what can i do for you? what can we figure out together? what can we fix in our communication?” hes never the one to initiate that, he apologizes and moves on.
this is too hard for me, cause most of the time our relationship is good !! we have so many plans for the future, so many memories. our families are pretty close, and our future seems pretty set. but this is the one thing that i dont believe will ever change. im having a really hard time figuring out if this is worth it for me, if i should make this drastic change in my life by breaking up over this?? is it worth to keep trying with him?? do i believe that he will ever change ??

I've recently separated from my Fiance of 10 years leaving behind my home, my daughter, pets and life savings having to start again. The relationship was sour for the last 2-3 years, we weren't agreeing, the bedroom was dead and we were both becoming mentally unwell from the situation, I had stayed simply for my daughter.
Shortly before the separation me and a co-worker had began a flirtatious situation in work and after an evening of going out drinking we kissed. I felt terrible about what I had done, 2 days later I ended my relationship knowing I had become capable of something I swore to never do, I was not willing to start an affair and hurt the mother of my child like that, relationship or not she is family to me. I still feel awful about what I did.
I continued to go out with this colleague after the seperation and the same thing kept happening, we would go out, get drunk and be all over each other. She has a long distance boyfriend of 18 months, they see each other once a week max. She has stated she is unhappy in her relationship, doesn't feel the same way about him anymore and has sexual anxiety around him, they don't get up to much. She says she planned to end it past August as she has a bunch of financial stuff revolving around booked holidays and festivals with him (This has always been questionable to me)
What began as drunken displays of affection turned into nights at hotels, which eventually turned into her sleeping in my bed on the regular. Just sex turned into staying over, and drunken nights turned into meals and breakfast on the regular. We have both owned the fact we have feelings for each other and even tried and failed to turn it back into just a bit of fun. It is exactly like having a girlfriend at this point except she isn't. I enjoy my time with her, she makes me really happy but a day like today when she has to go see her boyfriend kills me. I can't have contact, feel lonely and my head just isn't in a good place.
I often feel like I should quit the situation, it's been 3 months now and I'm still in the same boat. The block of festivals and holidays are coming up soon and that's either going to make or break the situation as to if she leaves him or not. I often feel like a fool, fresh out of a relationship sucked in to a strange situation and riding it out way too long. I often wonder if there is something else stopping her from leaving him like him having pictures or a video of her. Her friends are not a fan of him at all either.
I turn 30 in November and have promised myself not to turn 30 and be unhappy, that is my absolute deadline with this situation. Friends have told me to stop, some say just enjoy it as a bit of fun, others say play it out, I'm very confused and all I know is how I feel. I love her. We work together and I see her almost everyday, I can't talk to colleagues as it's obviously a huge secret in work. I have debated a fresh start, leaving my job and moving out of town, but my company isn't doing great and I'm staying in case of redundacy pay which would help me massively right now. I am trapped in that job and trapped seeing her everyday.
Any advice would be appreciated, and yes I have questioned morals on both sides a lot.

I got high with my boyfriend off of a vape pen. And I’ve used it many times before but this time I smoked two very long puffs and it absolutely threw me off instantly.
At first I was just numb everywhere and had the happy high then when I got out of the car I was leaning over it and my body froze and I physically couldn’t move (I’ve been high like that before but it just progressively got worse and worse)
He managed to force me to sit down in the car and my body just felt so weird as if my limbs were falling off
As time went by (this whole ordeal lasted about an hour and a half) I started to feel really out of place and had a really bad out of body experience and felt like I was playing a video game. I couldn’t recognize my boyfriend his face kept changing shapes. From geometric to cartoon and it felt like my whole life was a lie and I just now was realizing I’ve been playing a game, which made it so hard to jump back into reality because I couldn’t tell what was real or not and everything was spinning like my boyfriends face was spinning and the background was spinning in a different direction which made it worse. My eyes felt like they were lagging
And on top of that I kept screaming. Like everytime I would try focus on a thought or figure out if this is real life or not and try to separate the two I would feel like I’m falling for a quick second and scream.
My boyfriend has been getting high since he was 14 and he’s now 22 and he said he’s never seen anything like it before and he kept asking to take me to the hospital and I wouldn’t let him because I knew I was just wigging out but I just couldn’t separate or believe that it was real life
I still genuinely am baffled with the experience. It has genuinely spooked me. How can you just forget your whole life ? I kept making him tell me upcoming events or just things that have happened in my life because I couldn’t remember a thing and when I did the feeling would come for a second then disappear as if I’m making it up on the spot
Please can someone explain and or tell me they relate in a way. I need closure