You ever look into a window and wonder what’s on the other side? I mean, a room, obviously, but what’s in it? Who lives there? How do they live? For as long as I can remember, that was my fascination. It started innocently, if creepy; I used to peek into people’s windows when I was a little kid, back when I had to get on my tiptoes to peer in through a kitchen window. I’d see the light reflecting off tile and appliances, and sometimes people would be moving about, living their lives. In a sense, it’s sort of like an ant farm; the windows people use to see out provide a small vertical slice of their inside life. I never got caught or scolded when I did this, even though I instinctively knew it was wrong. It was the same reason my parents chided me for peeking in the door when they’d use the restrooms; people liked their privacy.
But you know what happens when a bad habit is allowed to fester, don’t you? It escalates. When I was twelve years old, I broke into a house for the first time. Not for criminal reasons, mind you, I simply wanted to get a more… tactile appreciation for someone’s life. It was a house that had overgrown grass and sometimes had a beat-up old Buick out front that needed a wash. I’d never met whoever lived there, but I knew they did.
There’s a fatal flaw with burglar alarms: the infrequent nature of burglary. Potentially 365 days of a year, the homeowner is paying for a service that ideally won’t be used. But the device, it never sleeps unless you let it. Eventually, turning it on in the morning when you leave for work or off when you come home becomes such a hassle that in some neighborhoods, people just use the sticker as their ward against burglars. This person was one of those people. And he was also one of the people who failed to lock their windows.
It didn’t smell great in that place. I let myself in through the kitchen window and I just stood there, taking it all in. It was cluttered, lived-in, but not hoarder-level crazy. There was a fat stack of shitty self-help books on the dining room table, and more than a few pizza boxes crammed into an overflowing trash bin. The floor was once, presumably, a nice carpet, but decades of neglect had rendered it crusty and brown. In retrospect I recognize the smell as marijuana, but at the time I thought it was a skunk. I could almost see the guy who lived there wandering around, mired in the detritus of an unkempt house. I could imagine him pouring over those dog-eared self-help books, eating pizza for the fifth time this week, wondering how his life went so wrong.
There wasn’t much to do. Like I said, my intentions were curiosity, not theft. So I went back out the way I came. That night, when the shitty old Buick rolled up onto the driveway, I watched the guy. He was shorter than I’d imagined, and he had thick glasses and thinning hair. He wasn’t super fat, but he wasn’t skinny; all in all, a fairly normal individual. Yet from that moment I spent in his home, I knew so very much about him. I think that’s where the problem started, really.
I got really, really good at it. Sneaking into people’s homes. Walking through undetected. Again, I never took anything, just explored the place and drew connections about their life. Creepy, yes, and very illegal, but I rationalized it at the time as being functionally identical to being invited in. It’s not creepy when a guest looks around, and since I wasn’t doing anything untoward, I was basically a guest, right? I even got so good I could do it when they were home. A lot of close calls, but those were the most exciting. Again, at this point I had yet to steal anything. I was chasing the high of just sneaking around, going where I wasn’t supposed to.
When I got into high school, however, I started wanting things. I wasn’t poor, but there was always something I wanted that was just out of reach. Well, I made the logical leap that my hobby and my desire could aid each other.
I prepped by “mock-robbing” my own house. When my parents were out, I combed through their things, looking for stashes of goodies. Naturally I wouldn’t steal from THEM, mind you; I hadn’t done that since I took a five-dollar bill out of my mother’s purse when I was six. Sure enough, I found the classic sock-drawer with the stash in it. Wasn’t much, just a couple documents. A xerox of my birth certificate, a copy of my grandparents’ will, some insurance papers, and a single hundred dollar bill, all rolled into an old black tube sock at the back of my father’s sock drawer. My mom’s nightstand held a bunch of her old expired credit cards, receipts for purchases deductible as work expenses, and her old earrings she’d worn before her earlobes had healed over. The kitchen junk drawer tended to be where lost coins were deposited, and by quarters alone I reckoned around 50 dollars had accumulated over the years. Finally, under my parents’ bed, I found the real stash: bonds given to them by my grandparents, the deed to the house itself, and my grandfather’s old ring. Worthless to me, obviously, but it proved that humans and dragons both choose to sleep atop their riches.
I chose my mark well; a large house, and one I’d already familiarized myself with on the inside. Once the geriatric woman had left to go do whatever octogenarians do on Thursday afternoons, I stole into the building and rifled through her things. It was a completely different experience to go in with the intent of robbery. I felt heightened. Paranoid. Instinctively I shied away from windows and lights like a scuttling rat, and any time the house shifted or settled, I dove for cover, cramming myself into cabinets or closets. The place was big, but sure enough, I found the old cigar box under the bed. It didn’t have money or jewels, but rather pictures. Grainy, faded, black-and-white pictures of a man in a naval officer’s dress, and a girl in a skirt with frizzy brown hair. I realized with a start that it was her, and who I could only assume was a late lover. There were family pictures on the walls, but none of them featured her with a man at her side. An elderly spinster, clinging to a love who no doubt was long gone. When I discovered that, I shook my head. No way I was going to rob her, even if I’d found gold bullion in the box. So I tidied up the place, making sure to wipe away the places where fingerprints could have been even though I was wearing latex gloves, and put her secret box back where it belonged.
For a few weeks, I didn’t do any B&E. Truth be told, I was disgusted at myself. Every house I’d snooped through, every life I’d reverse-engineered in my head… to think that I’d rob them, make those pristine little lives worse for my own benefit… I couldn’t stomach it.
Looking back, I wish I’d just abandoned that moral hang-up. Because it was that morality that led me to the Mortheimer house.
In the state of California, where I live, burglary is a felony. I think it’s that way in most places. Now I didn’t consider myself a burglar, because in order for it to be such, I had to be entering with the intent to do a crime. As of yet, save for the old woman’s house, I had never entered for any reason save to observe, so in my mind I was not a burglar.
I heard about the Mortheimer house from a friend. He said it had been owned by the bank for some time, after the owner had lost everything to a gambling addiction and shot himself in the building. It wasn’t called the Mortheimer house at the time, though; that wouldn’t be until Jason Mortheimer moved in and bought the old, buttress-ridden house for next to nothing. For weeks, my friend said, they had done construction; as to what they were doing, he couldn’t tell. Aside from cleaning, repainting, reshingling, and repairing the windows, the old house looked practically unchanged from the outside. Yet power tools could be heard from dawn until dusk within the old place, and construction teams came and went with clockwork regularity. Jason Mortheimer was an oddball in the neighborhood; he was never seen during the day, save peering out from his windows to watch people on afternoon strolls. By night, he’d wander and be cordial to passersby, but he walked stiffly, leaning heavily on a mahogany cane. Between the constant noise of construction and the leery glances he was caught giving joggers from behind heavy curtains, it was safe to say Jason Mortheimer was unpopular.
My friend wanted to know what was going on in the house, nothing more. We’d talked about my interests and he’d been understanding; on some occasions, he’d paid me to snoop on romantic interests, to find out their sexual preference and availability. Usually, I’d take his money and not even break in, simply observing the individuals and using the key context clues that he so clearly had missed. His current boyfriend, who like him will remain unnamed, was a closeted individual who I’d been hired to snoop upon; now he was out of the closet, and happier than ever before. Good for the two of them. But this was the first time my friend wanted me to snoop for anything approaching a benign curiosity, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also curious.
It wasn’t until the construction had stopped, about a week after the last team had left, that I made my move. I was going to enter the Mortheimer house, I was going to take this rich eccentric menace for everything that I could, and I was going to satisfy my curiosity.
The smell was, as it often is, the first thing I noticed. In most places, it’s a very human smell; scented candles, food, soaps, or even unwashed individuals sweating in the summer heat. This place, however, smelled sterile, and vaguely metallic. Like the smell of dentist’s tools, fresh from the sealed pack.
The interior was lavish, but just as odd as the man who inhabited it. Oil paintings of gargantuan scale leered down at me, Bavarian dukes and kings with severe faces glowered from antiquated frames. The floor was mostly granite, covered by a single crimson velvet rug that spanned the various landings. Dim halogen bulbs lit the corners of the halls, leaving the rest of the walk in murky near-darkness. Only the front of the house, as I would come to learn, had windows; the rest of the rooms were the same tiled, featureless rooms with odd decor. I passed no less than three bedrooms, each pristine and untouched, and entirely identical. Even the paintings began to loop, but those were more noticeably wrong, as the individual texture of the brushstrokes would differ between rooms.
The upper floors to the house were bizarre. Dining rooms and redundant kitchens on second-floor landings. An attic with a bathroom in it. Bedrooms so close as to be functionally adjoining. And all of them without so much as a sign of life. I checked three separate refrigerators, and while they were indeed cold, there was not a crumb of food in any of them. Drawers in the bedrooms would be completely empty, just varnished wood staring up at me where some evidence of habitation should have been. The attic bathroom was functional, I was surprised to see, and I marveled at the sheer ridiculousness of it. How much pipe the drains must have had.
When I reached the ground floor once more, I saw him. Jason Mortheimer, staring out the window as he always did. He was hunched, lame almost, as he peered from curtains of the same velvet as the rug. Without a sound, I descended the stairs and entered the first sub-level.
Roland Wood died two years ago. I feel this is important. You must understand that Roland Wood, captain of the volleyball team, was struck by an 18-wheeler and given a closed-casket funeral two years ago. I was there. I hadn’t been close to Roland, or Rollie as he was called by his friends, but the family had invited my family and we weren’t so disrespectful as to ignore the grief of our neighbors. I watched the pallbearers put Rollie in the grave, heard his mother’s hysterical sobs as the burial continued, and saw the grave covered in the cemetery.
Roland Wood, two years dead, body irreparably damaged by the crushing force of an 18-wheeler truck, stood before me as I rounded the corner into the first room. He wore a dress shirt and pants, and he stared straight ahead, eyes glassy and unfocused. It was all I could do to not yelp in surprise as I saw the slack features of a dead teenager in the first room of this strange place. Thick, iron staples perforated the skin everywhere, and numerous discolored teeth shone unblemished white alongside the rotten and deteriorated others. His skin, usually so tan from the volleyball games in the summer sun, was pale and slightly blue, riven with lumps and thin patches where the impression of bone could be made out.
Rollie wasn’t alone in that room. A dozen others stood still, staring at the wall, similarly dressed in formal wear. Women wore elegant dresses and pearls, men wore dinner suits and tuxedos, and all stood like mannequins in the cold, bare room.
“Admiring them, are we?”
I spun as Jason Mortheimer limped into the room, looking straight past me at the ghoulish tableaux.
“I- I-,” I began, but he jerkily raised a hand and shook his head.
“Don’t speak, lad. I heard you on the stairwell. Now tell me, what do you think of my merry little gathering?”
I swallowed and looked back over the legion of corpses.
“Are they… alive?”
Jason chuckled and shrugged.
“In a way. Although you’ll find they’re quite poor conversationalists. Everyone,” he called out, clapping his hands together, “please greet our new guest.”
In unison, the corpses turned to face me, their jaws opening with a creak and their eyes locking onto mine.
“Greetings,” they all intoned, a single voice coming from numerous throats. It cared not for the gender of the body it spoke from; they were all the same dolorous rasp, forced from lips that did not match the words spoken.
“Listen, Mr. Mortheimer, I didn’t come here to-”
“-rob me? Oh, I don’t believe that, friend, and neither do you.”
“Please, sir, I’ll just leave, I won’t tell a soul what I’ve seen.”
Jason shrugged, a jerky spasmodic gesture.
“It doesn’t matter if you do or don’t, dear boy. Nobody will believe you. So, you may go.”
I looked at him. He still didn’t meet my gaze, staring intently at his grisy arrangement.
“That’s… it? I can just leave?”
“Of course. I would prefer you to.”
“You’re not going to hurt me or something?”
Finally, Jason turned his gaze on me, an insincere grin twisting his features.
“Everything I can do has been done.”
With that, he turned away, jerkily climbing the steps. I ran past him, bolting for the door. It wasn’t far, and he made no move to stop me. I flung the old door wide and sprinted out into the daylight, gasping and shuddering as I ran. Confused passersby blinked as I stormed past, sprinting in the direction of home. Relief and terror warred in my mind as I reached my front door, and I threw it wide, startling my parents from the couch.
“Jacob?,” My father asked, “where’s the fire?”
I panted my excuses and sat at the kitchen table. I said I’d had a fright, thought I was being followed, because someone put a note in my locker.
“Speaking of notes,” said my father, gesturing to where the mail lay piled on the counter. There, a yellowing envelope had been opened.
“What’s this?” I asked, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
“It was an invitation,” my father answered, “to a party. Fancy dress. It’s at that old… oh, what’s the name of the guy who owns it now?”
“The Mortheimer house?”
He nodded and smiled.
“That’s the one. Your mother and I are planning on going at the end of the month. Do you want to come along?”
I smiled weakly, my mind racing.
“I… I guess.”

Occupation: Investment Professional
Industry: Finance
Age: 27
Location: California
Pronouns: She/her
Assets & Debt:
Assets: $943,000 in total: $17,000 in cash checking/savings. $171,000 in a 401(K) from my prior job. $36,000 in IRAs. $680,000 in my brokerage account. $38,000 invested in my company’s funds (Valued at my cost basis. I have committed to invest up to $150,000 over the next four years). ~$1,000 between two HSA/FSAs. I am a renter so I do not have home equity.
*Debt: * ~$3,000 balance on credit cards that are paid in full each month.
Income:
Income: $225,000 salary + $100,000 bonus. I received $100K as a bonus for the last two years, so I think this year should be the same or higher in light of a promotion.
I’m also eligible for a portion of carried interest, which is our firm’s profit sharing plan. It’s highly uncertain (deferred contingent compensation that vests quarterly over 5 years) but the estimated payout is $0.5 million in total over the next five to seven years if our investments perform according to plan and I stay with the firm through the full vesting period. This amount could potentially double if our new fund launches as planned later this year. I wanted to include this to reflect my full financial picture, but it’s not money I’m counting on at this point.
Paycheck Amount: $5,884 twice a month. This is after taxes and about $25 per pay period into an FSA. My company covers my health insurance premiums in full and does not currently offer a 401K, so there are no retirement deductions netted out of this amount. The bonus is paid out once a year in December.
Income Progression: I’ve worked in the same field throughout my career. My first salary was $65,000 plus a $40,000 bonus. My income increased significantly over the first few years of my career, including several very generous bonuses at my last job (>100% of base) that have allowed me to save as much as I have.
Side Gig / Extraneous Income: None
Partner’s Income: My partner and I do not have combined finances so I did not include his financial information above. However, we do live together, share expenses, and intend to combine finances after marriage so I thought it was relevant to share his financial information. He makes about $120,000 a year in salary plus equity in his company. His net worth is similar to mine though highly concentrated in semi-liquid private stock. We generally split expenses 50/50 and trade off on a few (he covers the Wifi bill because I do more of the groceries and household spending, etc.). We take turns paying for dinner and travel but generally don’t keep track of expenses dollar for dollar.
Supplemental Questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in higher education and if yes, how did you pay for it?
I was a very good student growing up so there was never a question that I would go to college, from my side or my parents’ side. I got my bachelor’s degree at a public university. I had a scholarship for the first year and my parents paid for the remainder of tuition and rent which I am very grateful for. I worked during college summers and had internships during a few semesters, so I had savings to pay for groceries, gas, and entertainment.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parents educate you about finances?
Both of my parents have business backgrounds so I am lucky to have had a financial education at home. My parents taught me the importance of saving and helped me open a credit card (to use like a debit card, of course) and investment account during college.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
During high school, I had some informal jobs like babysitting and tutoring here and there. My first W-2 job was working at a restaurant the summer after high school graduation. I wanted the spending money and my parents candidly wanted me to get some life experience before leaving for college.
Did you worry about money growing up?
For the most part, no. My parents did well when I was growing up and still do today. However, my dad’s job had a few boom and bust periods. My dad was between jobs for extended periods when I was a young girl and when I was in middle school during the Great Recession and I remember asking my parents if we were going to be okay. We lived in a nice house and I was never worried about going without something important, but I got the impression that jobs can come and go and you should be prepared with as much savings as possible.
Do you worry about money now?
No, which is such a gift. I’m a natural worrier, so I try to actively appreciate the financial peace of mind that my career has afforded me. I am hoping for an eventual career change, maybe 5 to 10 years from now, into a field that is less lucrative but more personally fulfilling. I don’t worry per se, but I do plan and save in a manner that is consistent with the gravy train drying up in the medium future.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself at 21 when I graduated college and started my first full-time job in finance. At that point, I took over all bills except for the phone bill which my parents still graciously pay.
My savings are my primary safety net. If things were really to go south, I know my partner or family would be there for me.
Have you ever received passive or inherited income?
As mentioned, my parents paid for my college tuition and expenses. When I graduated, they paid for my car and furniture to set up my new apartment. Hard to overstate the value of their financial and emotional support, I’m really lucky.
A few years ago, my parents began giving my sibling and I checks at Christmas as an “advance on an inheritance.” I’ve received about $20,000 in total over four years. I do expect to receive some kind of inheritance eventually, but I don’t count on it and hope that’s very very far away.
Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,700 for my half of rent for a one-bedroom apartment (Pain. It’s a nice space in a new building)
Electric/WateTrash/Pest/Etc: $65 or so for my half
Wifi: $0, Partner pays
Phone: $0, Thanks Mom and Dad…
TV Streaming: $0, I am a mooch
Car and Renter’s Insurance: $156
Health Insurance: $0, Company pays
Donations: $300 ($100 to three charities each month; I usually add some ad hoc giving at year-end)
ClassPass: $119
AMC A-List: $25
Spotify: $12
WSJ: $11
Apple Storage: $3
Day 1
7:45 AM: Good morning! I’m in a nice mood today because I was able to sleep straight up to my alarm. My noise cancelling headphones won the battle against the construction outside my window today. After my usual scrolling time, I get ready for work and leave the house around 8:40 AM for what is usually a 20 minute commute. I’m in the office four times a week so I “pay the pink tax” regularly, which is what my partner calls my getting ready routine. Do people care to hear about outfits? I usually wear dressy business casual to the office. Today it’s a blue shell with a keyhole neckline from Macy’s circa 2017, black cardigan, black cropped dress pants from Ann Taylor, and black kitten heels from Vince Camuto. I think I am Ann Taylor’s most loyal customer in the under-40 category.
10:30 AM: Pretty quiet week in the office so far. I have a call to learn about a new deal with our potential co-investors. I would rank it a meh out of 10 but consider putting together an investment review page to bring to the broader team just in case. Otherwise, I complete my morning routine of drinking office coffee and playing NYT Games. Our office kitchen is well stocked with coffee and snacks, so I usually eat a yogurt or oatmeal at my desk for weekday breakfast.
12:30 PM: I reheat my meal prepped chickpea curry for lunch. It’s pretty tasty but it’s also my fourth day in a row eating it so I won’t be sad once it’s gone. I usually try to bring lunch to the office, but sometimes I run out of time to meal prep if I travel on weekends and then I resort to Sweetgreen or Whole Foods.
4:00 PM: Pretty leisurely afternoon. My colleague also thinks that this morning’s deal is a meh out of 10, so that’s on hold, and I’m waiting around for some data requests on other deals. I write up a short portfolio update on a few companies I cover to send to one of our investors. There is a close call, as a banker requests a 7:00 AM meeting for next week, but my boss blessedly pushes back and asks for a later time. Otherwise, I work on my Money Diary and start scheming weekend plans.
5:50 PM: Time to go home. Traffic is tragic, as is par for the course on Thursdays. I’ll live.
6:45 PM: I am home and super hungry. I make instant ramen and throw in some baked tofu to bulk it up. I also make a quick cucumber salad with kimchi, soy sauce, chili crunch… and Everything But The Bagel seasoning. I know that’s not a very authentic topping but it’s delicious. I settle in to watch an episode or two of Sex and the City. I just started it and I can’t believe I’ve never watched it before. What a treat! SJP’s body is so banging. I wonder if she ate instant ramen…
7:45 PM: My partner C is home! He got back late because he went to REI for his camping trip this weekend. I ooh and ahh over his new headlamp. He puts his tent together in the kitchen to make sure he has all the pieces. Cuuuuute. And he brought me a red velvet cookie from work! All is well.
9 PM: It’s trashy TV night! I take out my coloring pencils and do a bit of coloring. I watch the first episode of the Ashley Madison documentary on Netflix. Not a lot of likeable characters there unsurprisingly. I need a palate cleanser so I turn on the Try Guys on YouTube which is ironically thematically related.
10 PM: I take a shower and get ready for bed. I write a short note in my gratitude journal and read on my Kindle before passing out. Currently reading Funny Story by Emily Henry (love all of her books) and The It Girl by Ruth Ware (jury’s still out). My first day is a no-spend day, hope that’s not too boring!
Day 1 Total: $0
Day 2
8:15 AM: I get to sleep in today because it’s work from home Friday! I had a dream I was in tumultuous situationships with John Mulaney and Matty Healy… bad taste in men gang, rise up. Anyway… I kiss C goodbye as he leaves for work and get back into bed with some water and a granola bar for my morning screen time.
9:30 AM: Time to make moves. I log into work, make the bed, and get dressed. Today I’m wearing Vuori joggers and an Aerosmith T-shirt I bought at Pacsun in high school. I go downstairs to the apartment lobby to make a latte with their fancy espresso machine. Back upstairs, I settle in with my coffee and put the new Billie Eilish album on TV.
10:30 AM: Bopping around doing emails. I got invited to a Women in Investing event next week by a local bank. They will have a suite at the soccer game! Fun! Unfortunately, it’s the same time as a double dinner date we planned next week. I text C and he’s okay if we reschedule, so I RSVP yes to the soccer game. Separately, C Venmo’s me for my half of the electric bill. I think I missed last month’s notification, sorry, so this would be two months’ worth ($62, included in monthly expenses).
11:00 AM: Our firm closed a deal last week, so as a (small) investor in the fund, I received the deal announcement and capital call today. My portion of the investment would be $6,771. I’ll write that check next week.
12:15 PM: I run out to Trader Joe’s before my afternoon call. Love that I’m in walking distance. I get popcorn, taco shells, two frozen meals, kale, asparagus, chickpea pasta, pasta sauce, artichokes, refried beans, cheese, orange peppers, watermelon, lime seltzer, and guacamole. It’s my cheapest TJ’s run in a while which probably means I’ll be back soon. $50 I get home and make lunch, a pre-made salad with cucumber and tofu added in.
2:45 PM: I had my standing weekly call with a portfolio company and then worked to refine a financial model I’ve been working on. I’m now waiting on input from others, so I have a Greek yogurt and kombucha as a snack. I am still hungry so I crush some popcorn and then do some reading to prepare for a call I’ll have mid-next week about an industry I’m not very familiar with.
4:30 PM: People have stopped replying to my messages so I’ll take the hint and sign off also. I got to the apartment gym and do a few miles on the elliptical and a strength circuit from Caroline Girvan on YouTube.
5:30 PM: After a quick shower, I make chalupas for dinner which is a perennial favorite. Tostadas (or just broken taco shells in a pinch) with refried beans and cheese baked in the oven, topped with salsa, guacamole and bell peppers. I start it up and C helps plate so I can get ready for our evening activity.
6:30 PM: We live nearby a park that does weekly community events and tonight is salsa night! They offered a thirty minute lesson and then an evening of dancing to a live salsa band! We learn a little routine during the lesson but salsa is not a natural skill of C or mine. My footwork isn’t great but I can move my hips a bit. Poor C is stiff as a board and also a perfectionist which is a tough combo for dancing. We dance for about half an hour to the band then give up and watch a while. P.S.: I wore a black floral midi dress, tall black boots, and a black suede jacket. I considered wearing my red silk skirt which is beautiful and looks like the salsa dance emoji, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t because most people were dressed pretty casually and I would have been embarrassed being the fanciest dresser and worst dancer simultaneously.
8:00 PM: We officially give up on salsa - maybe next time! C insists that we would have gotten it if we weren’t five minutes late to the lesson… sure. We go to our local brewery and each have a beer, which C buys. We play Scrabble against each other on our phones. I win but who’s counting? We go back to our apartment and I finish the Ashley Madison documentary and fall asleep on the couch. Spoiler alert: don’t waste your time.
Day 2 Total: $50
Day 3
10:00 AM: Feeling great after sleeping in! C left for his camping trip at about 8 AM and I went back to bed. I fetch another lobby latte and enjoy a slow morning in bed.
12:15 PM: I meet my good friend M out for lunch. Outfit check? I’m wearing an Abercrombie cotton button down tunic, stretchy black pants, and white sneakers. We chat and split a salad and pizza with iced tea. We split the bill, which includes an 18% service charge which states that it helps the restaurant paying living wages but also is “not a tip.” Hmm. The suggested tip at the bottom of the receipt is 10-15% so I leave 10%. Tipping culture stays confusing. $31
1:30 PM: M is joining me on a mission today. I feel like most of my jeans are outdated jeggings or too tight to wear comfortably so it’s time for a refresh. There are a bunch of vintage and thrift stores in the area so we set off. The first store was a bust. I tried on 11 pairs of jeans and there wasn’t even a maybe! I learn that I do not know my jean size and clothing brands also do not know their jean sizes because there is a laughable lack of consistency. Thankfully, my patience is rewarded at the second store. Two out of five pairs are winners. I get a pair of light wash relaxed fit Agolde jeans which are a steal at $32 and a pair of black flared jeans which fit like a glove despite (or because of?) some janky homemade tailoring in blue thread at the waistband. I’ll try to redo that at home in black thread at the very least. M also has success, buying a black denim skirt. $58
3:00 PM: In the midst of our shopping adventure, we stop at Starbucks for a lemonade and bathroom break. $6
3:30 PM: OMG. We walk by a shop with a line out the door and wonder what’s going on. Turns out it’s a pop up merch shop for Billie Eilish’s new album! I can’t help it, we go in. They’re playing her new music video projected on the walls and Billie had signed a decal on the wall for the event. The merch is sick and I buy an overpriced t-shirt. ** $54**
4:30 PM: I stop at CVS on the way home to get some household items, a Magic Eraser and some rubbing alcohol. $8
5:30 PM: Home now. I eat a yogurt and decide to enjoy the last of the daylight. I take my Kindle and a kombucha to sit by the pool for a while.
6:15 PM: It gets chilly quickly so I pack it up. I prep dinner which is the chickpea pasta, air fried asparagus, artichokes and TJ’s Rosatella sauce. The sauce is quite tasty but there was a scary moment when I couldn’t get the jar open and almost called off dinner. I turn on The Idea of You with Anne Hathaway. Is this a Harry Styles fan fic? It must be. It’s a bit corny but also hot. Would recommend.
9 PM: What now? I’m not tired at all so I go around the house doing weird chores. I unpack my clothes and clean out my pants drawer as promised. I try on the new jeans again and turns out there is a surprise waiting for me… someone cut one of those under-butt cut-outs into the Agolde jeans! As if jeans shopping isn’t hard enough! I can’t believe I didn’t see that at the store. I can only laugh. I guess I’ll try to sew it up tomorrow. Maybe white thread to make it look like ripped denim… With that, I take half an edible and call it a night.
Day 3 Total: $157
Day 4
8:30 AM: Good morning… I dreamt about my parents divorcing and C and I splitting up. Pleasant! I eat a granola bar in bed and procrastinate getting ready for the gym until it’s really time to go.
10:30 AM: I go to F45 once or twice a week using ClassPass credits and today was another great class. I’ve gained a lot of confidence lifting weights from the trainers there. I come home, shower up, and pick up the mail and a latte from the apartment lobby. Back upstairs, I call my dad for a while to catch up.
12:00 PM: The Jeans Doctor is in the house! First order of business is to get the blue ink out of my white jeans from last weekend. The internet said that rubbing alcohol will do the trick… I’m sad because I thought it wasn’t working until I rinse out the alcohol and the ink magically washes away. No shit, thanks Good Housekeeping! I feel emboldened by my success and turn to the Agolde jeans. I patch up two little worn patches with white thread and then stitch up the under-booty cut-out in light blue. The white threads help mask my sloppy stitches. Success! I fry some eggs for lunch and finish up my jeans over Sex and the City.
3:00 PM: It’s Sporty Sunday! I walk over to our neighborhood pickleball courts and meet up with a few friends. It’s pretty busy so we volley around the tennis court for about an hour before a pickleball court opens and then we play a few games. The sun feels great! My pickleball skills are super average but it’s been a fun new hobby.
6:00 PM: Home now and so is C! Sounds like he had a great trip. He starts the laundry and I start dinner, which is chalupas round 2. Afterwards I sit on the couch and think zero thoughts for a while. We’re both pretty gassed. I cozy up in bed with a sleepy girl mocktail (tart cherry juice and seltzer) and the new season of Bridgerton.
Day 4 Total: $0
Day 5
6:45 AM: Early bird gets the worm! Couldn’t be me, but the construction workers are already getting after it. I put in my AirPods and go back to bed.
8:15 AM: Time to get ready for work in a rush, as per usual. I’m wearing a black V-neck cardigan with a black lace cami underneath, black cropped dress pants again, and white Vionic loafers. I add some turquoise drop earrings for a bit of color. Quick skincare and makeup and then I’m out the door.
9:10 AM: Now at work, I have a protein bar and coffee. I prep the agenda for our team meeting, then I’m tied up for the next few hours in Monday morning meetings.
12:30 PM: Work usually caters in lunch on Monday and today is Greek food. Beggars can’t be choosers but I’m a bit sad there are four kinds of meat but no falafel. I make a plate of rice, hummus, and salad, then hungrily go back for seconds.
4:00 PM: The afternoon has passed quickly. I finalize a financial model and send out to my deal lead, then start reviewing the materials for a new deal that came through last night. I missed my typical lunch walk, so I take 20 minutes to walk a few blocks around the office. Gosh it’s nice outside.
6:20 PM: I wrap up work, bullshit with my coworker for a bit, then it’s time to go home. Once home, I eat leftover chickpea pasta. I also “meal prep” two lunches for the office; I throw rice in the rice cooker, then once cooked, combine into Tupperware with kale and a Trader Joe’s pre-made Indian food pouch. Does that count as homemade? Once C gets home, we take a little walk together around the neighborhood and enjoy the last half hour of sun.
8:00 PM: We knock out a few chores so the house is in good shape. C cleans the kitchen and I fold laundry. I take a shower and get into PJs so I can have the most peaceful Bridgerton viewing experience. I tell C that Bridgerton has sex scenes and suddenly he’s happy to watch with me. Good night!
Day 5 Total: $0
Day 6
7:30 AM: Rise and shine… I get going a bit early this morning. I wear a tan Zara cardigan, striped Ann Taylor blouse, grey Banana Republic slacks, tan loafers, and gold jewelry. I’d like to think of my work style as classic and unobjectionable, but hopefully not PTA Mom-esque (it probably is).
8:45 AM: I get to the office and start prepping for calls. Busy day with a bunch of random meetings: reference call with a recruiter, strategy session with one of our companies, and an introductory call with a potential banking partner. I’m up to my eyeballs in meetings and little projects until about 2:30. I eat a yogurt for “breakfast” at 11:30 and my meal prepped lunch at 1:00 while I crank through work.
3:00 PM: I’ve been texting with my mom about 4th of July plans and I think we’ve locked in times. I book flights for C and I to visit my parents for a few days over the holidays, which will be great. I book the first flight out using miles and buy the return flight in cash. I don’t think I’ll Venmo request C for this one; we usually cover each other’s expenses when we ask each other to attend “our” events. $342
4:30 PM: I get an email with details for the Women in Investing soccer game event. Apparently the stadium does not allow non-clear bags of any size, including clutches. I go to Amazon and order a small clear bag that will ship in one day. $12
5:45 PM: I booked a Pilates class for 7 PM and I usually get really hangry if I don’t eat beforehand. Luckily, there are Greek food leftovers. I heat up some rice and top with hummus and salad. I prep an agenda for my call tomorrow morning, send it over to my boss, and head out around 6:30.
8:00 PM: Another good Pilates session! I wasn’t able to find street parking so I have to pay for the parking lot. $7 I’m a bit late at this point, but I want to swing by our neighborhood bar for Trivia Tuesday.
9:30 PM: Victory! Our trivia team wins by 1 point, total nail biter. I contributed to the victory by recalling that pi is an irrational number. The 1st place prize is a $100 gift card and we’re stoked. I met this crew through M and they’re all so nice. I got a lemonade which would have been $4, but it’s covered by our previous trivia winnings.
10:00 PM: Home now and time to unwind. I take a shower and then join C on the couch. I tell myself I’m going to read and then I scroll Reddit.
Day 6 Total: $361
Day 7
7:30 AM: Normal routine to get ready for work. I wear a printed flowy blouse, grey cardigan, black dress pants, and tan sandals (assorted H&M, Nordstrom Rack, and Ann Taylor, all years old). I fear it’s very much giving PTA Mom. I scurry off to the office.
8:59 AM: I arrive with one minute to spare before my first call of the day. I would have been early but my usual exit on the highway was closed, sending myself and my fellow commuters for a loop. Anyways, I sign on for my first of five back-to-back calls this morning for new deals and more recruiter interviews (one of our companies is trying to hire a new CEO).
12:45 PM: I wrap up a very successful call where the potential co-investor said our terms are ridiculously off-market, and then the fire alarm goes off. Nice! I have 15 minutes free so I reheat my chickpea pasta and eat half before my next meeting.
2:00 PM: Done with my last meeting. I eat the rest of my pasta and some Greek salad from the kitchen. Thank God for leftovers. I’m feeling pretty frazzled after a busy day. I usually only have one or two meetings per day, then the rest of my workday is quiet time for research or analysis. I take a 20 minute walk to clear my head, then it’s back to it.
6:00 PM: I successfully re-focus enough to complete my sections of the Q1 investor update letters. With that done, I log off for the day and head over to our local movie theater. C and I reserved tickets for A24’s IMAX re-release of Uncut Gems. I’ve never seen it before so I’m excited to hear what the hype is about, albeit years later.
6:30 PM: C beats me to the mall, so he orders dinner for us both. He gets a quesadilla and I have two vegan tacos.
9:30 PM: The movie was a total riot. I leave feeling grateful that my life is my life and not Adam Sandler’s character. The ticket is covered by my AMC A-List subscription, but it would have been $29 after fees otherwise (?!!). The theater validates parking for 3 hours, but we go a bit over so I pay for parking. $6 Thanks for following along with my week!
Day 7 Total: $6
Food Total: $87
Travel Total: $342
Clothing Total: $124
Other Total: $21
Total Spending: $574
Reflections:
This was a typical week at home for me. Outside of the airfare, I’d say it was pretty frugal with no pricy dinners, nail salon visits, or even gas. C and I travel once or twice a month to visit friends and family and attend lots of weddings these days, so some travel spend is normal course for us. I was a bit nervous to submit a MD, but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading!
Note: edited for formatting :)

Low testosterone can manifest through various symptoms, which may vary in severity from person to person.

Low Testosterone Symptoms

Some common symptoms of low testosterone include:

1. Reduced Libido: A decrease in sexual desire or libido is one of the most common symptoms of low testosterone levels.
2. Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Men with low testosterone levels may experience difficulty achieving or maintaining erections, leading to problems with sexual performance.
3. Fatigue and Decreased Energy Levels: Low testosterone levels can contribute to feelings of fatigue, reduced energy, and a general sense of lethargy.
4. Loss of Muscle Mass and Strength: Testosterone plays a crucial role in maintaining muscle mass and strength. Individuals with low testosterone levels may experience muscle loss, weakness, and decreased physical performance.
5. Increased Body Fat: Low testosterone levels can lead to an increase in body fat, particularly around the abdomen (i.e. the beer belly). This change in body composition may also be accompanied by a decrease in muscle mass.
6. Mood Changes: Testosterone influences mood regulation, and low levels of this hormone may contribute to feelings of irritability, depression, or anxiety.
7. Decreased Bone Density: Testosterone is essential for maintaining bone health, and low levels of this hormone can lead to decreased bone density and an increased risk of osteoporosis.
8. Hair Loss: While testosterone is not directly responsible for hair loss, low levels of this hormone may contribute to thinning hair or loss of hair.
9. Sleep Disturbances: Some individuals with low testosterone levels may experience sleep disturbances, such as insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns.
10. Cognitive Changes: Testosterone plays a role in cognitive function, and low levels of testosterone may contribute to difficulties with concentration, memory, or cognitive processing speed.

Testing Testosterone Levels: First, you will want to check your testosterone levels.

• Testosterone Test: https://growoffline.com/everlywell (15% off coupon link)

Testosterone Supplement Stack

My total testosterone level tested at 300 ng/dL (you should be 400+), so I took the following supplements to boost my testosterone naturally.
Testosterone Supplement Stack:

• Tongkat Ali: 400 mg daily
• Fadogia Agrestis: 600 mg daily (cycle two months on and two months off)
• Zinc: 15 mg daily (includes 1 mg of Copper which helps Zinc absorption)
• Boron: 2 mg daily
• Magnesium Complex: 500 mg daily (also, if you have any issues with constipation, this will give you a nice “soft serve” 💩 every morning)

Test if you are low in Vitamin D.

• Vitamin D Test: https://growoffline.com/everlywell (15% off coupon link)

If you test below 20 ng/mL of Vitamin D, add the following supplement daily.

• Vitamin D: 5,000 IU daily
• Vitamin D alternative: On a sunny day, sit outside with your skin exposed for at least 10 minutes. If it is overcast, you’ll need at least 20 minutes.

A nice all-in-one testosterone supplement I pivoted to recently covered most of my required daily doses via one product (combined my individual Zinc, Copper, Boron, Magnesium, and Vitamin D supplements into one).

• Testosterone Support: 4 tablets daily

Using all these testosterone supplements naturally increased my T levels from 300 to 671.

Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT)

I temporarily experimented with Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) and loved it! But it is expensive to maintain. Here’s the TRT I used to boost my T levels to over 1000: https://growoffline.com/trt
I felt like a teenager! Lifting more. Working out more intensely. Hornier and harder erections. Faster weight loss and more muscle gain. Plus that brand helped with testing, cycling, etc. Once I am older, I will definitely use TRT again. The science is rapidly improving in this space with gene therapy and more improvements inbound yet this decade, so I will keep this post updated with my lastest testing!

Red Light Therapy

I learned about red light therapy from biohacker Ben Greenfield’s Men’s Health article, “I Put a Giant Red Light on My Balls to Triple My Testosterone Levels”.

• Red Light Therapy: 20 minutes daily (infrared light from an LED source between 600 to 950 nm pointed directly at bare penis/testicles)

I also use my red light device for injuries. For example, red light therapy recently helped heal my pulled hamstring muscle much faster than normal.

Breathing & Stretching

Breathing
Meditative breathing helps your mind and body. The method I use increases your growth hormone production, fat burning, and testosterone levels. Another thing breathing helped me to do is slow down, enjoy sex longer, and delay orgasms. Due to the increase in metabolic efficiency and oxygen intake, you will also increase your endorphins and dopamine (the happy hormones).

• Wim Hof Method®: 10 minutes daily

Stretching
Stretching offers numerous benefits for both the body and mind. Physically, it improves flexibility, range of motion, and blood circulation, reducing the risk of injury and muscle soreness. It helps relieve tension and tightness, promoting relaxation and stress relief. Additionally, regular stretching can enhance posture, balance, and coordination. Mentally, stretching provides a moment of mindfulness and relaxation, allowing you to focus on your breath and connect with your body. Incorporating stretching into your daily routine can lead to improved physical performance, reduced stress levels, and enhanced overall well-being.

My Morning Routine

• Set your alarm for 18 minutes before you normally wake up.
• Start with the 10-minute meditative breathing Wim Hof Method® above.
• Next, stretch for 5 minutes. Check out YouTube for stretching ideas. At a minimum include the following stretches:
  • Lying on your back, alternating each knee to chest (30 seconds each side).
  • Lying on your back, with feet tucked into your butt, bridge up hip pulses (10 reps in 30 seconds).
  • Lying on your back, grab your feet, and rock in happy baby position (60 seconds).
  • Cat cow yoga poses (60 seconds).
  • Downward dog yoga pose (60 seconds).
  • Alternating lunge (30 seconds).
• Finish with hanging for 3 minutes. I straight arm, “dead hang” from a doorway pull-up bar for 3 sets of 1 minute (using a different grip each set: overhand grip, underhand grip, and mixed grip). Dead hangs are a simple yet effective bodyweight exercise targeting the upper body, with benefits including increased grip strength, spinal decompression, improved shoulder mobility, reduced shoulder pain, upper body stretching, and posture correction.

Sleep

Your testosterone levels peak while sleeping and stay there until you wake up. Your daytime testosterone levels can drop up to 15% if you get under 5 hours of sleep.
Try to get 7.5 or 9 hours of sleep every night. This is completing five or six 90-minute sleep cycles (plus allowing for an additional 15 minutes to fall asleep). Learn more about sleep cycles, REM, and non-REM sleep at: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/stages-of-sleep
Depending on when you need to wake up, use this free Sleep Calculator to calculate how to get five or six 90-minute sleep cycles per night.
My Bedtime Routine
I follow the 10, 3, 2, 1 rule before bedtime:

• 10 hours before bedtime: Stop drinking caffeine.
• 3 hours before bedtime: Don’t eat. Don’t drink alcohol. Try to limit alcohol consumption to 1 or 2 days max per week as it is a testosterone killer (cut it out entirely if possible).
• 2 hours before bedtime: Stop all work.
• 1 hour before bedtime: Stop drinking water. Turn off all screens (phones, TVs, computers). Read a book, chat with a friend, relax.

SLEEP HACK: We have pets and live in the city, so there are sounds at night I would wake up to, but this White Noise Machine was a game changer! I added almost an entire sleep cycle every night (I track my sleep with a watch fitness tracker)! I thought I slept well already, but I am surprisingly so much more well-rested with this white noise machine.

Testosterone Boosting Exercises

Exercise is another area people overcomplicate. At minimum get active for 30 minutes per day. That can be as simple as a 30-minute walk daily to build the habit of working out every day. Just like showering or brushing your teeth, exercise needs to become a habit (it takes on average 21 days to create a new habit – FYI here’s an amazing book on habits).
Once you start to see results in your body, then you can take it to the next level (e.g. 30 minutes of walking, plus 30 minutes of weightlifting daily). I just don’t want you getting burnt out like so many people do early on. Set an easy habit for 21 days and then expand from there.
When I was cutting weight I did a 30-minute bike ride first thing in the morning, then a 30-minute weightlifting session after work. Currently, I am focused on toning more than weight loss, so I walk 5 miles per day (I do this with my standing desk and standing desk treadmill) and lift weights for 45 minutes after work each evening. I follow a classic “PUSH PULL” workout plan using dumbbells and resistance bands.
For example, here’s my 7-day weightlifting breakdown (pushing: chest, shoulders, and triceps — pulling: back, biceps, and forearms):

1. Push
2. Pull
3. Legs & Abs
4. Rest
5. Push
6. Pull
7. Legs & Abs

As for specific exercises to boost your testosterone, it is all about compound movements + lifting weights. This includes:

• Pull-ups
• Deadlifts
• Squats
• Bench press (or pushups)

Free Workout Programs

Start with our GROW Series strength training plan: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5iOxEDnqUPMFKWlNsfSPfPiPmhuurOf2&si=UICjiXxn7rJR6-vt
The GROW Series is a full body workout plan featuring 30-minute workouts, 5 days per week, over 6 weeks.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more free workout programs: https://www.youtube.com/@GrowOffline
Once per quarter, change up your routine with different workout programs or apps that incorporate resistance training, high-intensity interval training (HIIT), full-body workouts, and/or circuit training. There is no perfect solution, no silver bullet, no miracle drug… just 30+ minutes of ACTION per day and the compounding results of all these actions taken together!
PULL-UP HACK: If you aren’t good at pull-ups, focus on doing ONE at a time. When I was starting out, I did one pull-up, let go of the pull-up bar and rested, repeat. Continue this single pull-up/rest cycle until you can’t complete another one. Now I can do 20+ pull-ups in a row for each set, but this one-at-a-time hack really helps you get stronger faster.
WEIGHT LOSS HACK: If you want to lose fat, the ONLY way to do so is to practice the 30-30-30 method. Per The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, within 30 minutes of waking up, consume 30 grams of protein (e.g. one Premier Protein shake), and elevate your heart to 130+ BPM via cardio for 30 minutes (e.g. fast walk, jog, bike, or spinning).

Best Workout Equipment

Here’s the simple, inexpensive home gym setup I use:

• Adjustable Dumbbells
• Resistance Bands Set
• Multipurpose Adjustable Workout Bench
• Ab Exercise Ball
• Gorilla Mat

If you have space in your garage/home and want to avoid a gym membership fee/commute, this is what I got:

• Pull-Up + Squat Rack + Cable Pulley System

How Your Body Burns Energy (Calories) + Weight Loss Hack

If you want to lose fat, the ONLY way to do so is to practice the 30-30-30 method. Per The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, within 30 minutes of waking up, consume 30 grams of protein (e.g. one Premier Protein shake), and elevate your heart to 130+ BPM via cardio for 30 minutes (e.g. fast walk, jog, bike, or spinning).

1. First, it burns available sugar (glucose in your blood).
2. Second, it burns glycogen (sugar stored in your liver and muscles).
3. Third, if your body doesn’t have the first two available, it will burn muscle or fat.

After sleeping, your body is in a fasted state lacking sugar (glucose) in your blood. Combining protein intake with cardiovascular exercise in the morning maximizes your fat-burning potential by leveraging the body’s natural metabolic processes. Consuming protein helps preserve lean muscle mass, while cardiovascular exercise boosts calorie expenditure and fat burning!

Diet & Health

Your diet is crucial! Stick to a whole-food diet. Eliminate processed food and sugary drinks. Target consuming 1 gram of protein per pound of your goal body weight (e.g. 170 pounds = 170 grams of protein daily).
My meals consist of a rotation of the following foods (any of these foods, just as long as I only eat my caloric deficit total of 1800 calories daily for my current weight loss goal):

• Eggs
• Fage greek yogurt
• Bacon
• Whole-fat cottage cheese
• Fish
• Chicken
• Tuna
• Ground beef
• Liver
• Ground pork
• Ground Turkey
• Steaks
• Cauliflower rice
• Broccolini
• Spinach
• Grass-fed butter
• All types of berries
• Apple
• Papaya
• Banana
• Pineapple
• Mango
• Avocado
• Premier Protein Powder
• Raw milk
• Raw honey
• Lifeboost organic coffee
• Salt
• Olive oil
• Water.

Boring you may say?! GOOD! Because it works wonders for weight loss and muscle gain! And I am not a pain in the ass at restaurants forcing limitations on a group, I will splurge… but I know I have to make up for that splurge in the gym later!
Dieting is commonly overcomplicated online. To lose weight, you simply need to be in a caloric deficit each day. I see the best results eating 400-500 fewer calories than my required daily caloric intake based on my age, height, weight, gender, and activity level. Use this free Calorie Calculator.
TRACKING HACK: Tracking is crucial. Use a free mobile app like Lose It! to track your daily calories for a few weeks to understand what you are actually eating daily and to learn the total calories in various foods. After inputting my meals for a couple of weeks, I didn’t need to use the app anymore as I memorized my calorie count for my various types of food.

Genetic Testing

After reading about genetic testing in a few books, I decided to use a DNA test to determine what foods were hurting and helping my weight loss and muscle growth journey!
I had no idea that genetic testing would help me determine my body’s nutrient deficiencies!
The genetic test I used shows you exactly how your genes operate, what areas need improvement, and a roadmap on how to optimize it: https://growoffline.com/genetic-testing
The DNA testing breakdown gave me deep insights into my body, highlighting neglected areas like physical performance, energy levels, mental clarity, stress management, and digestive function.
With a customized wellness plan based on my genetic needs, I now have more energy, focus, and confidence in all areas of life.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY… the genetic test told me exactly what my body needed… Bodies are all different and there are certain things that work and certain things that don’t work.
When you can find out exactly how your body operates, change your diet accordingly, and supplement the specific areas your body doesn’t operate properly in… it changes the game forever!
Get a genetic test at: https://growoffline.com/genetic-testing

Here are some things Seth said in that interview. I found a few of them very interesting,, knowing things he’s said currently.
*Seth said he met Katie when she was 12 , he is 10 years older *he said they started dating when Katie was 18 and Sebastian was born when Katie was 19 *10-12 different dogs have been thru the Chris and Katie’s house *Law enforcement has searched the house 10-12 times. *He was there at the house when LE was searching the first day *Sebastian’s bed WAS NOT made and LE was going through everything in his room *Sebastian had an IPhone *All of their phones, including Sebastian’s , were gathered by LE and all locations pinged. *Sebastian was mentally like a 10 year old *Sebastian had Internet access at Seth’s house *Sebastian stayed ALONE while Seth was at work at night. *Sebastian stayed ALONE at Katie’s house until she would get home from work. *Sebastian was supposed to do his homework and chores before Katie got home *Katie and Chris came home one time and Sebastian was not in the house but found under a neighbors car *Sebastian had NO Internet at Chris and Katie’s and NO apps on his Iphone. He was only aloud to text, call and take pictures. *Sebastian played games on Seth’s PlayStation using Seth’s profile. *Sebastian NEVER told Seth he was being mistreated at home *When asked if Sebastian has any autistic stims, he said he runs like the Naruto character *Sebastian and Faith would FaceTime a lot , sometimes for more than an hour. *Seth NEVER noticed any fingerprints or odd marks on Sebastian and said he bruised easily because of an iron deficiency. *Sebastian liked to read under the bed with his flashlight. *LE told ALL PARENTS not to search in the first weeks *LE told ALL PARENTS not to do media right away. *Seth encouraged Sebastian to give a girl at Waffle House his phone number. *Sebastian loves Taylor Swift *Seth said Sebastian was NOT on any sleep medications at present time , but was when he was younger. *Sebastian used to have seizures in his sleep but hasn’t had any trouble with that for about 8 years. *nobody had threatened Seth out searching up to the point of this interview *Seth claims Katie has hit him (Seth) during their marriage. *Seth met Chloe the Pi March 17 at Sebastian’s vigil. *Seth doesn’t have social media but has had a personal YouTube channel for a while *Sebastian DID NOT have a school IPad. *Katie was a Red Phone person in the Navy (in charge of comms on a Navy vessel) *When Sebastian was there he and Seth would play of Duty, Minecraft, Dungeons & Dragon’s and go fishing *Seth last spoke to Sebastian the Thursday before he went missing and he sounded like his typical self and was mad about having to do homework and chores *the early morning Uber in the neighborhood WAS tracked, the riders and the driver WERE questioned by LE.
(Copied, not my notes but they're really good so I'm sharing!)

For the original post, visit here: https://www.reddit.com/CharlotteDobreYouTube/comments/1cfl5w1/exposing_exhusband_coming_soon/
Hello everyone, we have some major updates to this coming Petty Revenge story that will involve exposing my ex-husband for who he is and trying to protect the next person from falling into his trap. They will be coming in a separate post once I get everything together.
This is my story for context with the ex-husband. It will be a longer post, to be warned. Trigger warning for those who may be sensitive to stories about abuse and self-harm
Since my original post, the woman who is currently with my ex-husband, (not with as in together, anymore. With as in living with currently until she can find a new place for her and her kids), we have continued to stay in contact, and boy is this the drama intensifying. In short, the ex-husband is still playing his horrible games and turning her life into an ever-living hell.
Some backstory on my side. I will shorten my ex-husband to EH.
I (28F) and EH (36 M) met when I was 18 and he was 26, so there was a bit of an age gap, but that did not matter to either of us. We got engaged roughly 4 or 5 months after we started officially dating and we moved in together at the request of my parents as we could not fit everyone into the same home we were renting at the time. Things of course started off great. He seemed like a decent man who had his life at least somewhat figured out. He loved to cook and usually worked in some form of cooking-related job. However, never really seemed to be able to keep a job for too long but at the time, I didn't think much of it, given I was 19 and wearing rose-tinted glasses.
Since he couldn't hold a job and we usually had to ask his grandmother for money to keep up with the rent (both worked basically minimum wage jobs at the time) so after a year out of the house, we had to move back in with my parents.
Once we got settled back in there, I started a better-paying job and he had started a new job that was at least okay paying as well so for a bit we were doing okay. We made enough that we adopted 2 horses together and boarded them at a nearby facility. One came in late spring, the other in the summer of about 2016. So after 2 years of being together.
We got married that same year in the fall. Everything seemed perfect. Then came the wedding night... What I thought was my monthly woke me in the middle of the night before it was time to get up to leave for our honeymoon because I was suddenly bleeding very heavily, it freaked me out and we silently went to the ER without telling my family to not cause alarm. Come to find out, I was having a miscarriage. I was a little over 6 weeks pregnant and did not know. Needless to say, not exactly the best way to start your marriage, and did not go on our honeymoon. We never told my parents it happened and very few people know.
We held off until the following year, 2017, to go on our honeymoon. While we were on our honeymoon, I got a call that my mare had come down with a fever and the stable owner was calling vets out to see what was wrong. The first vet played it off saying it was just minor, gave her penicillin, and told the stable owner to give her a cool bath to help her cool down and see if it helped. It did not. They called a 2nd vet after that was not working for a second opinion, and my mare was diagnosed with Potomac Fever. Since it had been a few days since she started her fever, giving her the correct medicines at that point as she was getting very poorly was a 50/50 chance of whether they would help or not. We did cut our vacation as short as we could, but we ended up having to wait to come home as our board check removed what we had left to come home on so we had no money until we got paid again, luckily that same week.
The day before we were able to return, my favorite singer, Chester Bennington passed away. I was devasted. When we did get to the stable, we bought some supplies the stable owner advised us to get, mainly wraps and bags of ice to help ice my mare's feet to try to help keep her fever at bay. We were advised by the vet when they stopped by the check on her that the next day they would bring out an x-ray machine to see if the bones in her feet had turned down or not. If they had not, then she had a chance of making a full recovery and staying sound, and everything would be okay. If they had, then she would likely never be able to be ridden again and need a lot of corrective shoeing and therapy which would be very expensive. We were also trying to keep her on her feet as if she went down and we could not get her back up, it would be a death sentence.
The next morning I went to the stable as early as I was able and.. disaster. I was met by the stable owner and he had advised that my mare had been down when he checked on her sometime in the early morning, around 3 or 4 AM. He was able to get her up then but wasn't able to tell how long she had been down before he found her and got her up, however, she had gone down again and had refused to get up. I was so heartbroken and went to her and tried for a good hour or so while my parents showed up. I was in tears telling them we'd probably be putting her down because she was down. We did get her up, but the damage at that point was done. She was down way too long and she has very noticeable nerve damage. Hardly able to walk, went to the bathroom in spurts, and was so unsteady on her feet that she could barely stay up. When the vet came, we let her know what was going on. They looked her over and advised that her fever was gone, but the damage would probably be permanent without very expensive therapy throughout the years and would never be the same again. It was the humane choice to let her go and she crossed the rainbow bridge that day. I only had her a year and 2 weeks on the nose, but she was my best friend, my heart horse, and I miss her terribly to this day, soon to be 7 years later come July.
After this happened, EH and I went through a bit of a rocky patch. For a week or so he was supportive and seemed to care that I was grieving the loss of my mare, but after a little while it turned into arguments about how I could still be upset, time had passed we still had our other horse so I should be fine, all sorts of crazy things. I couldn't understand how he could say those things to me, especially when he knew I was so close with my mare and had many great plans with and for her that were now of course, not possible. He didn't care so I just stopped going to him when I was upset about it.
Fast forward to late fall of 2018, we decided to move out of the home we were living with my brother in and move into a house owned by his grandmother for a work opportunity for my EH. He ended up getting the job which solidified us moving. Moving didn't go so bad, however, I had to leave my job to move so I was without for a bit until I got a job at the same place he was working at, which was a casino. Usually, we worked separately as he was a cook and I was a cashier for the different food areas, but sometimes we worked in the same area. I much preferred to be in a different area than him cause if we worked in the same restaurant that night, it would get exhausting with him trying to joke around and make passes at me in front of people and joke around that it was the husband and wife team and everything was great. The first few times it happened, sure it was actually kind of funny because we had worked through some stuff and were doing okay at that point, but it did get a bit old and repetitive at some point, and never had any personal space. Plus, I was the one driving because he had a suspended license at the time so I was stuck with him most of the time after the new food court opened. We got our first puppy together for my 22nd birthday the day after New Years, 2019.
We moved on to work with a co-worker at a duck farm in the area we lived which was kind of a fun job. He was hired full-time and I was part-time. We took care of thousands of ducks every day doing whatever needed to be done from farm maintenance, giving them vaccines, sorting them, tagging them, etc. I kind of miss that job as it was an interesting one to have. All was well during these times, but we did sometimes have arguments because he felt since I didn't work as much that this somehow meant I was being lazy around the house and could stand to do more cooking and cleaning (which I was already doing a majority of anyway). It turned into a lot of gaslighting arguments that made me feel like maybe I was not doing enough so I took on more than what I was already doing. With the new puppy and at that time 7 fish tanks ranging from 5 gallons to 150 gallons with over 100 total fish and the entire house to clean and outside work to do, I was busy most of the time he was not home. Of course, as soon as he got home, he would find 1 dirty little thing that I didn't get to or something that wasn't to his standards and he'd excuse me for doing nothing or not knowing how to do anything right. We got jobs working for the same place after the duck farm mysteriously let him go for unknown reasons, which I can now only assume were his fault. We met some nice co-workers and got our second puppy from one in late fall of 2019. My dogs could be Irish twins because their birthdays are a little over 9 months apart.
Things started to decline after this, especially during covid, 2020. I got it very early on when they didn't know what it was and was bad enough that I could not work at all because I was struggling to breathe and function most of the time for months afterward. He did help me some but not much more than getting cough medicine and checking on me every once in a while other than that, he wasn't around me much due to having to work or just not coming around me when he was home, which fair, didn't want to bring sickness to the workplace. We were laid off from that job though in the downsizing.
In that time, he started abusing online slot games, and the extra money we had that we had previously discussed was to be saved for either a newer vehicle or even maybe a home of our own down the road he used to get coins or boosts in his games. They were not the ones you could win actual money from so he was just purely wasting hundreds of dollars pretty much every week or every couple of weeks on these games. I also found he had been spending money online on sites such as OF and other smut websites and paying for NSFW stuff online. Also found he was cheating on me with one person on OF when I got a pinged message from his email chats on my laptop. I, of course, wanted to see what was happening and found everything he had been saying to this girl.
He was telling her around times we'd go visit my parents for the weekend that he was going out of town to his family but didn't say with whom. They would ask him how he was single and he would just say "Oh I don't know, just unlucky I guess" and things along these longs. I wasn't even given roommate status, He stated he lived alone. Had the 2 dogs, all the fish, was woah is me with it all. I confronted him about it and of course, he tried to deny everything, tried to say I was probably the one cheating, and was just trying to blame him, you know, totally normal sane reaction... not. We got into it pretty good, nothing physical, but we did not talk to each other for a bit, I had considered leaving to be with my best friend at that time, but ultimately we started talking and wanted to attempt to work things out. He of course promised not to do it again, he'd be better, all that good stuff so I decided to give him another chance. Of course, I realize that was a major mistake now, but you live and learn, unfortunately.
Things smoothed out for a bit and went back to being okay again. We had a chance to expand our animals so we took it, it was kind of an apology gift in all honesty. We gained 4 rabbits from my best friend in the late-ish summer of 2020. I met her for the first time in the at the time 8 years we had been talking (we met online) so that was great. I am coming to realize that gaining all the animals we did in our time together may have been a coping mechanism for me because I had something that was depending on me and loved on me so in some ways I realize I do have a lot of animals due to this, but I am also an animal lover and love all of my animals and they are very much spoiled rotten every day. They still bring me immense joy and are a highlight of my life even if they were gained with EH. We still had our other horse, a gelding, at this time yet as well and he had been moved to a new boarding facility that was close to where we had moved to. So things were great at this time. In 2021 in the summer I gained a leopard gecko, and in the fall I gained a Russian tortoise as well.
Backtracking a little to around the end of August 2020, I gained my current job and I was excited to start a new at-home job so I could work and not have to worry about going out and potentially getting deathly sick again. I do have RA so I do have a compromised immune system. He started back to work where we were working as they had started hiring people back, so I was happy to have a quiet background which was needed for my job. Well, that did not last long. 2 weeks after going back, he didn't go to work for a day or 2 and I asked him if he was going to work. He stated he was using his paid vacation time and had taken the next 2 weeks off because he "needed a break" from work because he was feeling burnt out even though he had only been back 2 weeks and wanted some time to do stuff around the house. I thought this was odd and he never asked if this was okay... I only found out when he stayed home instead of going to work as scheduled.
He did go back after those 2 weeks off but he only stayed about another month and it happened again that he did not go in for a day or 2 when he was supposed to be working so I asked him what was going on. He told me he had quit the job because it was burning him out and he did not enjoy the job anymore. I found this odd yet again because he did not express any of these feelings before doing so and never asked me. I was furious and asked him how he thought this was okay because in our budget I had made up for us (because he wouldn't) there was no way for us to survive on my income alone for long and we would likely have to destroy our savings to stay afloat. He stated he would look for another job right away, he just wanted some time to figure out what he wanted to do. How, when he had only just gone back to work after about 5 months off, I don't know, but it was what it was, I made it clear he had to find work.
At that time, around the beginning of 2021 or so, maybe more coming into spring, he started his online slot spending again, and I had found he never deleted his OF account and was talking to another girl that I didn't know about saying the same things he was before, except he was talking to this girl the ENTIRE TIME he was talking to the other one. I just didn't catch it cause he had deleted messages so I didn't see it apparently when I found the first one. So not only had he lied about going to delete the OF and other smut stuff, but he had actively continued to talk to another girl for the entire year and a half almost that he claimed he was working on us and our relationship.
Needless to say, I exploded internally and waited for him to come home after helping his gram with something. I had a plan. When he got home, I played it cool like any other day. Asked him how his gram was, what he did at her house, and all that, normal. Then, I calmly asked him who the OF girl was. The color of his face went pale. Or paler anyway. At first asked, who? And acted confused. I reiterated my question of who OF girl was, this time, seriously to let him know the jig is up. He stated he didn't know who I was talking about and didn't know anyone by that name. I pulled up his OF account on my computer and was like, oh really? then explain all of this, and scrolled through the months of messages with this girl.
He had the AUDACITY to continue denying it was him and said he probably got hacked. I found a picture of him fully in the nude in the full-length mirror in the bathroom that he had sent her and said, "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain this picture?" and continued to more of his parts he was sending to the girl and continued to ask and this to all them. He had nowhere to hide. I had also already downloaded copies of everything and sent them to my best friend (the one we got the rabbits from) so in case he wanted to delete everything and call me crazy, I had the proof that I was not and he did these things.
Eventually, he admitted to continuing talking to her even though he said he had stopped. His reasoning? Apparently, he didn't feel the same spark in our marriage or relationship that he had originally felt and felt like I was distancing myself from him and it just wasn't the same between us. He also stated that he felt as if his efforts to make our relationship work weren't being seen by me and he didn't feel appreciated in the relationship. I, of course, asked him what he meant because at that point I had been just trusting his word that he wouldn't do anything else and would stop. He hadn't done anything else. No romantic gestures, no help around the house, offering to grab food when we needed it, take care of me while I was sick, offer to take over any form of bills or anything financial that I was solely doing at that point because he didn't want the responsibility of and had stated beforehand he didn't want the responsibility of.. nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything was always on me, and I was the one burdening myself and driving myself crazy, even when I had another health scare thinking I had a DVT because I had sudden swelling in my left leg around my knee area and would get sudden bouts of breathlessness and was advised to take it easy and remove as much stress as possible for a bit in case I did have one to avoid a possible clot from going into my brain or lungs. Luckily, I did not have it, or any clots. I was under so much mental and physical stress that my body was reacting negatively.
This did not stop him from continuing my stresses at all. I also developed Vocal Cord Dysfunction when I had covid and stress makes it worse so on top of the sudden swelling and breathlessness, the stress was also activating the VCD and constantly making it feel like someone was choking me full force, which would trigger anxiety attacks because of course I felt like someone was choking me full force and like I couldn't breathe and wasn't breathing or at least wasn't breathing normally. It's an awful experience that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.
Despite all the cheating, I never mentioned a word to my parents even up until that point, but they had a feeling something was going on because I was probably being a bit distant with them. I didn't want anyone to know at the time and thought I could fix things. Things only got worse. When he did finally get a job, not until mid-2021, so at that point he'd been out of work almost a year, he again picked up his gambling habits. What made things worse and started to spin more out of control was the pizza shop he had gotten a job at installed slot machines for their customers to play if they wished.
You can only guess what happened from there. While he was making decent money at the time, I saw hardly any of it because he would gamble most of his income at those slot machines. I would tell him what bills needed to go out of our joint account (I had a separate account for myself for my pay, but a portion went into the joint) from his pay, and he would say okay got it won't spend anything over that, won't play this week since we won't have a lot left over, etc etc etc... and magically pretty much all of the money would be gone and I would be forced to dip into our savings to save our bills from going out of date and overdue and gets fees we could not afford.
For context, the joint account was after I paid most of everything else out of my account before seeing what needed to go out of the joint account as well. Usually, the joint account would be needed to cover our rent to his gram, groceries, gas, vet appointments for the animals, medical or dental appointments for myself or him, and pretty much anything other than rent that was a necessity. I took care of the actual main bills out of my pay. As stated above, EH wanted nothing to do with the financial responsibility of ensuring all the bills such as our electricity, water, heat, phones, and internet were paid for on time because "I was better at keeping track of that stuff". I took that on because since I worked from home, I needed to make sure 100% I would have internet and electricity, or else I wouldn't have a job, and I couldn't lose my job over something so stupid as not paying my bills on time. I am not that irresponsible.
In about mid-fall 2021, he was at work and I had requested the day off to take our dogs, then 2 and 3, to the vet for their yearly check-ups and vaccinations so they were good for the coming year. He had just gotten paid the day before and I checked the joint account before I left the house with the dogs and saw that so far, he had not done anything with the money, so all was good and I proceeded to take the dogs to the vet. They did fine. It comes time to check out and pay for the vet visit and... the debit card for the joint account declines and says insufficient funds. Confused, I asked them to try it again before looking because I knew I saw that there was more than enough to cover their bill before I left. Nothing, same thing, it says it's declined due to insufficient funds.
I began to panic because, at this point, we had $0 in our savings because of his antics up until that point, and if I used my bank card, while it would go through, would put me into the negative until payday, which was not until the next week. I checked the joint account and low and behold, within the 2 or 3 hours I was gone, he somehow blew through almost $1,000 in withdrawals to gamble, pretty much his entire pay and I had less than $100 in that account. He had gambled his entire pay when he knew I was out to a vet appointment at that current moment. I paid with my bank card so I could leave, as at that vet clinic, you had to pay for the services before leaving or they would not let you leave, or not let you leave with your animals at the very least until the bill was paid in full. They had no bill me later options.
Needless to say, I was fuming the entire drive home and immediately messaged him about it when I got home and the dogs settled. He messaged me back right away with a BS excuse that he forgot that was what was happening that day even though right above those messages he could see I reminded him I was going to the vet, told him I was leaving for the vet, and was at the vet currently, all of which he replied to.
It of course ended up in an argument when he got home and after a long time arguing he stated he didn't understand what all the fuss was about since I had covered the bill just fine. He was using his pay the way he wanted and that's how it should be. He dared to say my pay went to what I wanted and it wasn't fair I was putting such a tight leash on him and his spending when I spent money on myself all the time, which is not true. I reminded him of this very quickly and showed him my bank account was in the negative because of today due to paying all of the necessary bills we needed, not because I was spending on myself and reminded him if I didn't pay the internet and electricity especially, I wouldn't be able to work which was not in the cards with how his spending was.
I forbade him from spending anything without my okay at this point and in a last-ditch effort, took away and cut up his bank cards and hid mine where he wouldn't find them. This did stop his spending because he didn't have a way to spend. I would only give him my bank card if he asked to get something we needed or he needed, and he was to give it back immediately after use or as soon as he could give it back if he took it to work to get something after work like smokes or something for the house. If any cash withdrawals went out, he wasn't allowed to take it again for a while. This continued into 2022 and it worked, I could relax a little as he was starting to earn trust. Say what you will, but it had to be done. At the end of 2021, 2 days before New Year 2022, we, unfortunately, lost our other horse to a long battle with sickness so we were down to just our dogs, the rabbits, reptiles, and 3 fish tanks because we decided to downgrade on the fish keeping. After all, water was getting expensive to maintain all 7 we had.
The loss of our gelding, unfortunately, turned out to be a good thing, as after we had him euthanized and I had allowed EH to have a bank card of his own again because he had been doing very well, it wasn't long before he was back to his old habits of draining his pays. Only, without the about $400 a month board for our gelding going out anymore, it was much worse. There would have been no way we would have been able to afford to keep him after that. It got to the point I again, took his card away, but then he started finding where I was hiding both of my cards and would drain not only the joint account but also my account. This led to us getting behind in rent especially, on some of my credit card payments which had by that time gotten completely maxed out, and on payments to loans I had taken out to try to get us back on track. Not good.
This continued to no avail throughout 2022. I had many conversations with friends trying to see if there was anything I could do. I was at my wits end with all the constant fighting over finances, continued accusations of cheating, making me feel like I was worthless and not doing enough to try to get him to see reason, wondering why I was not good enough for him to want to change and get his act together, mental and emotional abuse, manipulative actions, almost anything you can think of. I wanted it to stop and I was getting tired of trying. My mental and emotional health declined greatly. My friends of course wanted to support me in whatever I wanted to try to do, but they also didn't like seeing me decline as much as I was.
I had a mental breakdown one night and basically did a 2005 Brittany Spears to my hair. I didn't shave everything off, however, a good 90% of my hair was shaved off and what I did have left was very much chopped and looked horrible. I did get most of it fixed, but needed help with the back, so I asked him to try to fix it up so it didn't look so chopped off. I was already not the best mentally and my anxiety was through the roof. I had simply asked him to just be careful and not accidentally cut or nick me. Pretty simple. As I was anxious, I asked him a few times, and was a bit flinchy when he was close to me. He took this the wrong way and threw the scissors down and started screaming at me that if I wasn't going to calm down and hold still I could do it myself and blew past me out the bathroom door. The door almost hit me when he swung it open and I just completely lost it. I sobbed and was in such a bad state of mind that I ended up scratching my arms to the point I made them bleed and covered with scratches. He didn't care or do anything about it, he had gone outside and taken the car and drove up leaving me there alone. I bandaged up my arms. They stung for weeks and I still have a few light scars. Not a very proud moment, but one that drew me closer to knowing I had to leave. The stress I was under was too much.
My now current boyfriend, whom we'll call BF, (32 M) came into the mix towards the end of summer 2022, introduced to me by my best friend after she found him gaming in Fallout, mixed in with my friends, and took their stance as well that if I wanted to try to make things work, he would try to be as supportive as possible. Over time though, he and my friends slowly cracked and smashed through my rose-tinted glasses to help me see that what was happening was not my fault, and was not an okay situation to be in. My best friend then distanced herself thinking I was choosing BF over her after we started talking more and we were hanging out more playing games together. She decided to end our 11-year friendship amid things even though she knew I needed her and we were not replacing her with each other, we just happened to be growing closer. We attempted to include her in things but she chose to leave and distance herself, stating to me later she regretted ever introducing us.
My BF and other friends became my main support systems, and I decided enough was enough and it was time to let go. I had fallen out of love with my EH for some time but didn't want to admit to it. The marriage was over. I told EH I wanted a divorce but he did not believe me. He said I was being crazy for thinking we should end things, but I knew I was not.
While he was at work one night toward the end of October 2022, I went online and found a service that would assist me in getting the papers we needed to start the divorce process and bought them on the joint account so he could see I was serious.
When he came home, I was on the computer with my friends on Discord, playing a game together. He came in screaming with an anger I had never heard before... He had screamed at me before, but this was different. He was screaming at me to get out of the house, that I needed to get out now, he didn't want to see me in the morning, he didn't care if he wasn't allowed to do that cause he was doing it anyway, he was so angry and my friends and BF heard him through my headset. One of my friends told him to shut up and calm down and EF snapped and screamed at them to shut up and stay out of it.
He then came straight for me and slammed my laptop shut so hard I was afraid he broke it, ripped my headset off my head, and threw me from my chair, continuing to scream at the top of his lungs that he wanted me out right then and there if I wanted to me that way. It all happened so fast, I couldn't stop shaking and looking at him, not expecting this. He had never put his hands on me before. Ripping the headset off my head nearly caught on my industrial earring, which would have been horrible if it caught and ripped out. Luckily it didn't.
Once I got past the initial shock, I stood up and lit into him that he couldn't just kick me out because he was mad I was finally done with him and the relationship, and the audacity he had to lay his hands on me. I needed time to get a place to live because of my work. I needed to get my options figured out, get the animals we had sorted out if I could keep them all or not, everything. I needed to make sure I was sorted out and he would have to deal with the fact that I had to do these things before I could get out of the house.
His anger turned into tears and he began crying and pleading with me not to go and crying he'd do better and be a better person and all the things he promised beforehand. He couldn't believe what he saw when he saw the request for divorce papers, he was sorry for putting his hands on me, the works. It did not work. I assured him I was going and needed to get things sorted out.
The next day I called my parents and told them what had happened and that I needed a place to stay or at least help looking for a place to stay. My parents and brother agreed that they would take me in as they owned and lived in a house, and I could live in the basement of the house so I had a room to myself and had room for my animals as well. I did have to rehome 2 of the 4 rabbits, however, they went to a loving home with a cousin of my brother's girlfriend who was experienced with rabbits and currently had some that 2 could intermingle with. So that worked in my favor.
I didn't think I would have room for both dogs and rabbits remaining, so EH decided he wanted to keep 1 dog and 1 rabbit. He wanted our first dog (the one gotten for my 22nd birthday) and the original rabbit he chose from my now former best friend. I agreed and kept our 2nd dog and the original rabbit I chose from my former best friend. I also was keeping the leopard gecko, tortoise, and fish. However, my parents agreed that if in the future EH ever decided to get rid of or no longer wanted our first dog and the other rabbit, they would allow them to come as well (important in a bit).
I made the move to my parent's house in mid-November 2022 and started the process for divorce. While I was getting the first papers ready to go and sent to EH to start the process, EH would continuously text me and harass me even when I asked him to stop messaging me. He would continuously say he wanted me to stay with him, he would change, ask how I could do this to us as by that time we have been married 6 years and together for 8. Trying to manipulate me into coming back with promises of change.
My response was to send him the first official papers to start the divorce process. In my state, once you initiate the process and request for legal divorce, and the request is approved, you have to wait 90 days before you can then submit the final paperwork to request to make the divorce official because the relationship is not going to work, both parties want the divorce, etc.
I had to send the papers a second time because they were not done properly the first time, but the second try was approved so the 90-day waiting time to submit the final papers began.
He continued to harass and message me multiple times throughout the first month, and then his harassment to try to get me to stay turned into distasteful language and cursing me out, saying he didn't need me he already moved on and had someone else so didn't need me anymore. All ploys were more than likely to see if I would suddenly want him. I did not react other than to say good because I had also already moved on and was with someone, my BF, so I was looking forward to being rid of him so I could be with my BF in peace and not have to worry about him anymore.
At that, he stopped messaging me finally, and I moved all correspondence to email instead of text and messenger for more formal communications only when I had updates regarding our pending divorce.
In about April 2023, I had a bad feeling about the well-being of my first dog and other rabbit so in an update email to let him know we had reached the 90th day so the next day I could start getting the finalization paperwork in, I asked him how both were doing and if I may have a picture of them just to ease my mind that they were doing okay and was maybe just nerves about losing them for good.
He met this simple request with utter anger and venom, stating he didn't have to tell me how they were doing and wasn't going to send any pictures. I was being crazy, they were fine so I shouldn't be asking or worrying about anything. This set alarm bells off in my mind because it was just a simple request to see how they were doing, and so far, legally, still, partly my animals until the divorce was final. I advised him of this and this time demanded proof that both the dog and rabbit were doing well or I would be calling animal welfare as a precaution to ensure their well-being and would want them back ASAP if not met, as I wanted them back if he was not taking care of them.
He again refused stating he didn't have to prove anything and that if I asked again, he'd report me for harassment and false accusations of animal abuse. Not wanting any legal trouble with a pending divorce, I dropped it and didn't ask again.
However, 2 weeks later I got a nasty email saying if I wanted my other dog and rabbit back so badly I could have them, as the dog had been whining so much it was annoying him and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. His sister was getting married in 2 weeks, so I asked if he wanted to have them out before or after the wedding since I was attending the wedding along with my brother and his girlfriend and would be in the area, but could get them earlier if needed. He opted for the week before the wedding because he wanted her especially gone. I asked about the rabbit and he said he changed his mind and wanted to keep the rabbit, but if I wanted her too, I could take her as well. I kindly advised the rabbit would be coming back with me as well as I did not want her alone with him anymore. I told my parents what was up and they agreed they could come home much to my relief.
That weekend in May 2023, my brother and I went to EH's house to pick up my dog and rabbit. The moment I saw them, I was so heartbroken and angry. The rabbit was in a tiny hutch meant just to hold them while we cleaned their big enclosure that obviously had not been cleaned or taken care of in some time and dirty murky brown water to drink. It was obvious she had been couped up there for some time, as her enclosure wall panels were broken down and on the porch. My dog was completely emaciated and in horrible condition. Her nails were overgrown, and she was skin and bones. You could see her ribs, spine, and hip bones, and her face was sunken in. Neglected and not taken care of or fed in some time.
I was so angry I grabbed them and put them in the vehicle and let my brother take care of EH. He talked to him for a bit as I called my parents crying telling them what kind of state my animals were in. They were furious. When we got home, they had the dog I kept outside so he could see his sister come home and they wanted to film their reunion and also show what EH did to her. My mother broke into tears when I carefully got my dog out of the car. She was so excited to see my parents again and her brother. And he was so excited to finally see her again. He had been so depressed without her as he grew up with her of course. It was a beautiful reunion but so depressing and sad because of how deplorable of a condition she was in.
My rabbits immediately went to each other when I put the other into the enclosure with the one I kept. They knew who each other were as well and they started grooming each other and cuddling together like they used to like nothing happened. Both my dogs and my rabbits are inseparable now. They can't stand to be away from each other.
The divorce was finalized in June 2023 and I made sure I had no forms of contact with EH again, blocking him on everything.
I can say I have found a wonderful man in my BF and he has helped me so much and been with me through all of this, we couldn't be happier to be able to be together without people asking how we're together if I'm married to someone else even though I was getting a divorce and no longer with EH. Mainly very religious family members who made a fuss about it, but still was a bit ridiculous.
If you reached the end of this and read every bit, if you have any questions feel free to comment below. An update in a separate post will be coming within the next day or so about what's going on with the woman who is currently with the ex-husband.
This was my story in this, context you may or may not want as not everyone's stories gets told. I am telling mine now as everyone in these situations should.

Hello. I am an 18 year old high school student from Italy. Today is not the year I graduate. Nor is it next year. Truth be told, I will probably be spending the next 2 years of my life living in more or less the same conditions I am in right now. Home is an unexceptional first story apartment in the city centre. My family consists of me, my father, and a very fat cat named Alfred. It’s rather quiet. And so is the rest of my life. I wake up to the sound of the cell phone alarm going off, just like you do. Sometimes, I get out of the house late, just like you do. I wear headphones on my way to school, I listen to good music - my dad is a jazz musician -, I try to be decent, I love classical history and study it in my free time, and I enjoy making people laugh and feel better about themselves. I too am addicted to my phone, but I still try to read. Sometimes, I even succeed. But most times, after a few minutes, my reading finger falls short of the next page and takes a nose-dive right back onto the phone screen. So I scroll.
I also happen to be extraordinarily proficient in English. It’s gotten to the point where I’m pretty sure I speak it more fluently than my own native tongue. Yeah, I’m one of those people. Now, I don’t say this to brag - as I happen to be equally un-proficient in a number of other things - but rather because if there’s any particularly noteworthy trait about me, it’s probably got to be this one. You know the little voice buzzing in your head that’s talking to you every day? Well, mine just so happens to sound like it was born and raised right under the star spangled banner, maybe in Kansas or something, which is funny considering I’ve never really been overseas. It’s not uncommon for local people in my own city to mistake me for a tourist — and sometimes, I even play along, because as it happens, I seem to have, above all, an innate talent for acting like someone who is definitely not from here. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve certainly met people online who are in a similar situation. But hey, I’m just putting it out there.
Does any of this sound interesting? Do you feel like you can relate? I hope so. Let me continue. I work on a lot of video projects. I have a passion for philosophy and my dream is to be able to say and record and create the things I want to create and publish them on my YouTube page. I write very long video scripts, and make very detailed plans for how I’m going to execute them. For the record, not a single project among the dozens I have conjured up over the last year or so has been brought to completion. As of yet, I haven’t met someone in real life who shares similar interests to me. And the only online presence I’ve known for the past 5 or so years has centered around a video game page, which I no longer wish to be associated with. But it doesn’t matter. All of this, it doesn’t really matter in the big picture, does it? Because nobody’s really got anything figured out at 18, do they? Because it all flies by so fast, doesn’t it? Because everything flows, doesn’t it? Flow away, will ya! My life’s drainage pipe is stuck.
Maybe my story has some character. It might not be the most exciting, or the most extreme or tragic, it might not be the best or most interesting story ever. I admit it might even sound quite banale compared to some of the things you folks post here. But maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance you might find that some ineffably small part about it piques your interest. The truth is that my life reeks from up-close. Something silent and putrid has been rotting under the wooden planks of that 10x10 shithole of a room I lodge in every night for a very, very long time now. The stench is becoming unbearable. Sometimes, dad leaves for concerts. I am alone, me and my obese cat meowing in the bathroom for me to feed him more sub-par fat-free rancid cat kibble. No brothers or sisters. Few online friends to share menial friend things with. Few real friends to share football and basketball things with — and I follow neither of those sports. I am alone with my fat cat Alfred, and the stench of life swallows me whole, shrink-wrapped in solitude.
Other times, I go outside. And by that I mean go to the gym… but okay, I do sometimes hang out. Except, of course, I’m not really hanging out. I might be right there with them, I might nod or ask about the latest news on the local football community I was never a part of. But I’m never really there all the way. The real me is always somewhere far up in la-la land, thinking about how I’m going to record the intro scene to my newest video project which will definitely never come out. In English. And sometimes I might talk and dance and make jokes - and don’t get me wrong, I would never downplay those rare moments I step foot on Earth again to have a bit of a laugh - but as soon as people look the other way, I wander off and stare at the night sky and start philosophising in my head - in English! - about Daphne and the laurel, about the Oxen of the Sun, about love or war or modern technology or whatever other kind of pretentious bullshit philosophy people talk about. Perhaps I don’t have enough people in my life, perhaps that’s why I’m so quick to go in that direction. And somewhere along that way, the thought will creep up on me that I might not be from where I am, that I don’t belong because perhaps I can’t, that I’m a foreigner in my own group, living the day to day effort to acclimate. Where am I from?
The answer is clear as day: I’m from here, I’ve always been from here. I have an Italian name and my family is Italian. Any other answer would fall short of common sense. But there’s just something putrid. Something that reeks horribly. As mentioned, I do have some friends, mostly in school. They’re alright. But I still go to fucking school. A nasty, control-freak school, a hopelessly vapid and moronic learning environment housed in a former hospital building, a place made up of 85% female students, a superficial yet somehow highly stressful and challenging curriculum, a great weight and effort for virtually no payoff. Say what you will about the innocence of your school years, but I happen to think that I’m starting to become too old for it. I want to go to college. I want to move on. I cannot be made into a 12 year old school boy again, there is no dignity in it. This place I slave away at from Monday to Saturday is starting to seriously chip away at my soul, which is an experience I’m sure the adults among you will be familiar with.
I actually went to the school of my dreams once. Equally challenging, yet teeming with classical culture, rich in history and art and all the things I now jealously foster in my free time, a place for Greek heroes, for Roman senators, for philosophy, mythology, tragedy, beauty — I signed up and did my first year during COVID times. And then I failed, because back then I was too busy playing video games in quarantine. That was my 9th grade. Probably my lowest point so far, but you know, that’s life. So, I changed school. That was 3 years ago. Back then I figured I was good at languages, so I signed up for a language school - we don’t choose our courses here, every high school specialises in a particular area of study - and that’s where I go to now. I’m at the end of junior year with two more to go - 5 years, that’s how it works here - and I’m staring down my 20th birthday like you would down the barrel of a gun. I dread every second that inches before me, the months on end sitting in these God awful desks, marking time, playing the part, because I guess that’s what people do.
School has always bothered me, but never quite like this. I just can’t bring myself to sit there without feeling like a complete and utter shell of myself, void of all and every means to make that little voice speak. And again, here, I am nowhere to be found. What you will find is a borderline illiterate, indelicate and vulgar character I’ve created as a defense mechanism. A degenerate, dense and honestly antithetical person to my natural disposition is the kind of satirical straw I now grasp for as this dim-witted sterile nightmare of a place tries to rob me of my vitality. Being funny and helping other people laugh is comforting, and can be genuinely a lot of fun. Yes. I am desperately lonesome and disconnected from the world and I am trying very hard to not let you know that. Yes. I am the subpar class clown.
Let me give you a basic rundown of things. I’m supposed to study English, German and French among the other subjects. My current English teacher is, to put it nicely, a severely underqualified rural lady trying her best. Her English is pretty awful. But that’s okay. My German teacher hates my guts because I don’t believe in reciting grammar rules to learn a language — safe to say my grades are not stellar. She’s the old school type of teacher. And French class is, well, just French class, you know. In PE class, which is once a week, we make PowerPoint presentations about sports. We never use computers in school, because they’re supposedly not fit for educational purposes, so we mostly stick to the textbooks and chalkboard.
That is, of course, except for the incredibly advanced virtual attendance register system, tracking every student’s performance over the year by compiling the literal hundreds of schoolgrades - because I am, academically speaking, buried by piles of exams periodically scheduled for every week of the schoolyear, as I suppose that keeps the students in check - and calculating the mathematical averages among them based on the subject — you know, just to make sure everything, and I mean everything, is above 60%, or else spend the summer studying for your retakes in August to not fail and repeat that year. Not to mention its ability, in conjunction with the biometric attendance machines at the school entrance, to precisely pin down the exact moment you arrive at school, and compute the sum of all delays counted by the minute over the course of the year. Just in case anyone needed or wanted to know that.
My personal favourite, the “disciplinary notes” tab, fit for any neurotic, middle aged, underpaid teacher to vent about the doings of a particularly misbehaved gum-chewing pimplefaced 16 year old student. “Stop right now or I will write you a note!” is the be-all and end-all of disciplinary action in class, only second to the fabled pilgrimage to the principal’s office. It is a very effective threat, one among the many in their arsenal. which is in all honesty pretty hilarious. Of course, because such an environment has your attention in a chokehold, I often find myself so exhausted by it all that I end up intellectually starved of any real, genuinely interesting reading material. It’s not easy to find the strength to open a single one of your favourite books on the Greek myths after spending half of your day amdist the pages of countless insufferable grammar textbooks, inevitably associated with the insufferable place from whence they came. Way to undermine a perfectly good resource… And just like that, even the most radical passion and interest and ambition blowing in the wind can quickly dissipate, leaving me with nothing but the silent rot, unknown and uncared for, and a bubbling pot of doubts and regrets and failed projects and failed plans. I live in the shadow of my image, I am compromised by my unfilfilled conscience.
There’s a lot more I could say, but I’m not going to for now. What I really came here to say was that I feel as if the life I live through day to day is entirely built on a thin veil I could pull away at a moment’s notice. My mom died a long time ago. She was from another country, one quite far from Italy. And I believe the anglophone in me is the voice for the particular nature she bestowed on me when I was born, my spirit drifting aloft, robbed of the sight of its reflection in another. I never got to know her, she was dying of cancer by the time I turned 3. And so, I never really got to know me. My house has never felt like home. I love my dad and my cat very dearly, but I am not at home, I know it, I’ve always felt it. I am a stranger to my bed every night. I can’t stand it. It’s been years, man.

So I have started making money this month off of YouTube around £300 per month. I am 18 and currently on pip (cancelling that soon) I have never filled out taxes and have NO CLUE what to do. I know my earnings are gonna be under £12000 this year. However when do I pay taxes? When do I start thing about a tax return for this years earnings (May onward) is it really crucial that I put myself as self employed at this small amount of money? Please help thanks :)

To begin with, I’m so so thankful to all the people who reached out to me through DMS and comments. I’ve never received so much love and so much respect in the 29 years of my existence. I cried throughout the day and I’ve read through the comments more than a 100 times already. I’m still trying to digest it all and I’m still trying to internalize this feeling.
Dear Gods,
Know that I’m beyond grateful for all the heartfelt comments and messages and for the first time in my life I can actually see that what I’ve endured and come out of, is a huge thing and I should be proud of myself.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart ❤️
In this post, I’ll write in detail about all the doubts and questions that people have and also try to explain my mindset, attitude and my faith.
Important note:
Many have DMd and asked whether I give coaching, and the simple answer is NO! I’m not equipped to do that and the most important point is, all the answers are in you, you should just know how to ask. But if you people have spare money lying around that you’re anxious to get rid of, I wouldn’t mind lol. But on a serious note, NO I DON’T GIVE COACHING
This will be a series of posts because I have to think properly and answer. I’ll answer 20 questions per post. Please bear with me.
If I haven’t answered your question in this post, it is coming next, but I’ll answer all the questions.
If I haven’t specifically answered your question here but you’ve gotten your answer by reading the response that I’ve given to someone else, please let me know.
I am going in chronological order, please have patience
The most important part, these answers are from my experience and are my opinions. If you do not agree to something, please do comment about it, I’ll be happy to learn about other people’s perspective.
This post is taking more time than I thought it would take, I’m genuinely sorry for making you people wait. Please forgive me
Now onto the questions and answers

1. What technique did you use the most when you felt most anxious or when you couldn't feel the wish fulfilled?

initially when I started, I started with all the techniques that I read about, you name it and I’ve done it. but eventually I realized that nothing is working, I would get minuscule results here and there but nothing major, my situation was still the same. I left everything aside and started reading again. Strictly Mr. Neville Goddard. I deleted all social media and completely immersed myself into his teachings.
Eventually, I realised that I’m not understanding the most important parts,

1. Creation is finished
2. The end is where you begin
3. 3d is a dead world
4. Your faith is your fortune
5. Your state manifests.

I jumped into smaller things after that, money, physical appearance, food etc.
Now coming to the question. When I was/am manifesting the things that I had/have attachment to, as human beings we’re bound to feel anxious, we’re bound to look at the 3D because we’ve been raised to believe that it’s real, that it’s a fact. I broke that belief first. I meditated on the affirmation “3D is an illusion, 3D is dead”.
The most important part is learning to understand the difference between your emotions and your feeling, once you reach that place, once you know where to look, you’ll be able to easily strip yourself off of these attachments and you’ll easily be able to walk in faith.
If I ever felt anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated etc, I would first calm myself down by doing any and everything that helps and once I’m calm, I would close my eyes and meditate and just affirm “I’m in control”. It takes a little practice but eventually as soon as you utter that affirmation, your brain automatically takes this as a sign to calm down and then you can overwrite and move from there.
Under any circumstances, do not try to fight your emotions and do not try to bottle it up. Let it flow please, let it come out. When you feel overwhelmed, remember your bucket is full and it needs emptying. And the moment you try to fight it, you’re telling your subconscious that you’re not even worth some tears. Please don’t do that to yourself. But after all this, get up and claim your victory and live in the wish fulfilled.

1. What did you do to change your self concept permanently?

Again I’ll have to write a long answer lol.
Due to all the abuse I faced right from the very beginning, my self concept was in the gutter. I’ve been to the darkest places. I wouldn’t allow myself to even accept simplest of compliments from strangers, and when you do that, you’re telling yourself that you deserve nothing and when you’re trying to manifest something that is opposite to your Self concept, there is so much resistance that it becomes impossible to have faith and thus it doesn’t manifest
One day, one of my students reached out to me. I’d just woken up and I saw 15 missed calls from him, in panic I called him back.
To set the scene, he was in an abusive situation, like life or death and he had to get out. I was his trainer during that time. One day during the class (one-on-one), I asked him about his well being and he broke down. Long story short, I helped him get out of it by nailing that woman and he also didn’t have to pay her. Now he’s happily married and has another daughter, the first was from the first marriage.
He called me and said, “Ma’am for what you’ve done, I want to give you something.” He sent me some money and the very first thing I did was, I returned it. He sent it back and told me sternly that if I returned it again he won’t talk to me. I sat there and felt like I didn’t deserve it, I’m looting him etc. That incident got me thinking, why don’t I deserve it? And it’s not like I asked him to pay me, he did it out of his own free will. And for the last few days I was also trying to manifest some money, the manifestation came true but my brain went like “you don’t deserve this and shit”.
This incident actually gave way for the groundwork that I did for my self concept. It took a lot of time and effort on my part but eventually I reached where I am today.
I meditated a lot during this phase and I asked questions. During the sessions a lot of things came to the surface. I wrote down all the things that’s I’ve done or all the things that have happened to me that have given way to the shit self-concept. I wrote everything in detail with all the emotions I felt when it was happening. It took me about a week.
As you can understand these things duck with your brain. I cried so many times, I felt so depressed but I was determined to get these things out of my system. Eventually, I had used up 1 and a half diaries and I realized my trauma goes back to my childhood, since the first time I was molested at the age of 3. And this was the very first incident that dug the foundation of my current self-concept. When told my mother that the teacher is making me do things and doing things to me that I don’t like, she said that it must be my fault, or I must have seduced him somehow. That incident was where everything began.
After writing all these things and crying and looking at walls and everything else you can imagine, I was satisfied. It was cathartic in a sense. I went to a secluded place, sat down and burned both the diaries. It was like a ritual to me.
While burning it, I affirmed that, that person is now dead. All the negative self-concept, all the trauma is also burning with those diaries. I cried and grieved for the person who once was, but she had to go for the new person to emerge.
I was satisfied seeing the ashes. I gave a proper burial to her and her ashes. You people might laugh at this, but as Mr. Goddard said, “you need to kill the old man”, correct? I took it literally and killed my old self through that diary.
Now once I went home I slept, but before sleeping I affirmed that a new person will be born in the morning. Once I woke up I felt refreshed. With renewed vigour I started laying foundation for my new self-concept.
I wrote down all the things that I am. For eg: I’m a kindhearted person. I am loved by all. I am respected by all. I tried putting as much feeling into it as I could. I would listen to affirmation tapes on YouTube. I would write down the affirmations. I would look in the mirror and affirm. I would listen to askfirmations. I committed myself to the process. My goal was to feel good and deserving, that’s it.
One day, I received some money out of nowhere, and that day I took it with gratitude and with the feeling of deserving. That’s when I realised that I changed my self concept.

1. What was your thought process like when you didn't see any reflection of your imaginal act in the 3D even though you have been doing it on a consistent basis?

I have internalised the fact that 3D is dead, it’s an illusion and also it mirrors our past beliefs. The 3D is a delayed manifestion of the past states.
That is not to say that I don’t get triggered, I do. But during those times, I go in a quiet meditative state and take my power back. I affirm “3D is an illusion and I control the illusion”.
See, manifestation is a life style, it’s not a magic wand! People come to manifestation with the intention of manifesting 1 or 2 things and then moving from there. But Mr. Goddard has clearly stated in his books and lectures that everything begins from the man’s concept of himself. Had your self-concept been on point, your desire would’ve manifested by now. And this is also the reason why we get smaller manifestations easily and struggle with the bigger ones, the ones that we think are big. Because these things are in exact opposition to our self concept and also the attachment to the result is very strong.
No matter at what stage you are on, go back to the basics, it is of utmost importance. And the biggest things that I’ve realised is, most of our desires come from our ego, the need to show or prove something to the world, the need to be powerful, the need to have pride. But once you lay a strong foundation for self-concept, half if not 90% of your desires will no longer be as seducing as it was once.
Coming back to the question, I’m still a human (wearing the human cloak) and I get triggered at times, that’s when I go in silence, I leave the job of human being behind and become an observer. I leave that place completely and do something that my heart loves. I colour or read or listen to music and dance or cook or whatever it is that I want to. I let the human in me calm down first and then I meditate, for as long as I can. And then I come back with renewed power.

1. What should you do if the 3D isn't showing results? Are you doing it wrong? And what to do if you’re disheartened?

I will start by saying, please don’t forget the fact that YOU ARE GOD!!! Please internalise this. EVERYTHING YOU SEE WAS CHOSEN BY YOU. I know this will trigger a lot of people. But take it from someone who’s been r@ped, molested, abused and you name it, numerous times, TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! LEAVE THE VICTIM MINDSET BEHIND!! NOBODY HAS POWER OVER YOU!!! YOU CHOSE THIS!!!
if you look at 3D with the intention to find results or with the intention to seek validation, you’re renouncing your faith.
YOU CANNOT SERVE 2 MASTERS. YOU EITHER LIVE BY FAITH OR BY SIGHT.
Please please meditate on these words. Because these are the words that gave me the magical results that you people know. Had I not worked on my self concept or had I not realised what I was doing wrong, I would’ve lost my kids.
My only advice for you would be to meditate and internalize the aforementioned words. This world is not as it looks. It’s just a very dense mirage. It’s your delayed past. Look at it from the lens of an observer and move from there.
Now coming back to the doubt part, as soon as we look at the 3D, we start doubting our techniques. The techniques in and on itself can do nothing, it works hand-in-hand with your faith. Techniques are to change your state. If you do not feel fulfilled, do the technique again or change it. There is no technique that is written in stone. The only validation you should take is from your state. Ask yourself this “how am I feeling?”, “what is my state right now?”. If the answers are not in tune with your desires, work on it.
I have been through hell and back, numerous times, but the moment I internalized this truth, I was set free.

1. Ok i really wanna know how to visualise or to SATS . I struggle a bit. Also is it enough that I affirm once in the morning and once in the night . I sleep with my affirmation audio on too . But I really wanna know if Visualisation is really necessary and if so how do i really get into that "drowsy state" without my mind wandering off too much.

I don’t practice SATS, I practice affirmations but any technique requires attention. I would suggest, begin by visualising an apple or an object that you can picture clearly, let it hold your attention for a bit. Any object you visualise will bore you in a few seconds, but bring yourself back gently, over and over and over, until your body falls asleep and then visualise your scene.
With any technique you do, it always requires practice. Work it like a muscle and eventually you’ll get there.
Everything belongs to you, this world, the people and everything in it is yours. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to do it. Become like a toddler who is hell bent on eating that chocolate.
No matter how many times you fail, get up and do it again. Please DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.

1. What can one do with this feaanxiety regarding time (like lets say you want something, you only have 4 days left before the conseqences of not having it affecets you, you have been wary about you having what it takes to use the law in your favour since its been years of being unsuccessful with the law, you have limited time for a full 360)? As in how long it will take, worrying about how much effort, etc. Basically put it all up on a pedastal, having (shaky, because of anxiety and insecurity) faith in the possibility but not in yourself and your ability...yk

please refer to question no 4.
Also, I’d like to add, you’re bigger than any of your manifestations, you are bigger than any person you’re manifesting. Stand still and let the world come to you. About pedestal, you need to work on your self concept to drag everything down and put yourself above it all. Hope that helps.

1. Hello ! Thank you for doing this ! How did you deal with limiting beliefs? Do you have any advice on how to transform them? Thank you.

Limiting beliefs are strong because you give it your attention and you’re giving it your attention because your self-Concept is not where you want it to be.
Everything comes from SC, everything. You might manifest your desire but you won’t be able to sustain it. Think about the people who win huge lotteries but within months they lose it all. They manifested but couldn’t sustain. Why? Because they didn’t have a good self concept. But think about the people who are born in harrowing environments but make an amazing name and place for themselves, why? Because they have an amazing self concept. They believe in themselves.
On how to change it, please refer to question no 2.

1. Im Not sure if this has been done because i tried reading most of the comments but how to “trust” in the law, and how to know you are doing it right, And lastly how to “know” the law is working?

Now this is a tricky question. How to trust the law. In my opinion there are 2 ways, you either build it by manifesting small things or if you have a logical mind, you read the texts that are available. So many authors and writers have talked about law of assumption, it goes back to ancient times, surely so many people who’ve lived thousands of years apart wouldn’t lie, now would they?
I want to ask, why is it that you aren’t able to trust it? What is holding you back? What other option do you have? Can you work in the 3D and get results?
The law is always working, you’re always manifesting, your power to manifest is always at the maximal level. You don’t believe it because you’re manifesting the wrong or negative things. Take accountability and look at your life, past, present and all the things that you’ve gone through, take notes and be honest with yourself. I’m a 100% sure that you’ll find that all your beliefs have been the reason for all the things that have happened up until now.

1. Take rest :) and do tell us what have u worked in terms of self concept. Did u solely worked on self concept beliefs n affirmations or you also focused on affirming for your desires/end goal.

For self concept, please refer to question no 2.
And to answer your question, I also manifested few things while working on my self concept. Like money, gifts etc. Self concept is a life long process, you can’t do it once and stop, you need to keep adding fuel it because most of the times, in my opinion, people see something and get triggered or they internalise something negative and that’s where cracks start forming.
Self concept should be worked on at all times, each day, everyday. And also I was able to manifest other things while working on it.

1. How did you change your self concept, I am continuously falling in back to my old circumstances. Tried everything but it's being difficult to change the circumstances

Please refer to question number 2

1. Absolutely loved your post. A few questions that i would like to ask

• Did you feel anxious about manifesting in a time crunch? If yes, how did you manage your anxiety?

In the beginning, I used to feel anxious and I would go absolutely insane trying to curb the emotions and I would live in the fear that my fear will manifest. But understand this, that anxiety, fear, frustrations are all emotions. Even in the wish fulfilled, people sometimes feel anxious but if you try and remove it for a second, you’ll realise it’s just your body and mind playing tricks on you. Beneath it all, there’s this little feeling hidden, and that feeling is what is the most important. I read somewhere, that in complete silence do you hear the loudest things. If you silence yourself for a second, you’ll realise that these emotions mean nothing.
In my mind, I refer to my body as “This body”, I know this will create a sense of detachment or depersonalisation and don’t attempt this unless you are absolutely certain that you can handle it please.
I refer to my body as this body and say things like, this body is tired, not I, this body is anxious, this mind is playing tricks, etc. I detach myself from it for sometime and then I talk in my mind, you need to calm down, nothing is wrong, you’re in control, like talking to a child. Eventually everything calms down and then I meditate and bring/attach myself to it again, if that makes sense
Now about time, if the creation is finished and everything is in the NOW, in the present, then where exactly is time? I can understand that, in tne “real” world we very much have to adhere to “time”. But does it really exist? And if it does then revision cannot work. Then everything walks in a liner way, but these things are not at all in proportion to anything that is law of assumption.
what I do is, I meditate again, and affirm “I choose (insert desire) now” and also affirm “I’m in control”. This one is a little tricky but with practice you’ll be able to achieve control.
Also you can affirm that everything works out in my favour. It helps.

• What was your thought process as the days passed and the (expected) date of your desire's fulfillment came closer and closer?

Lets talk about something that I’m currently in the process of manifesting, in process I say, it’s because I haven’t reached the wish fulfilled yet. So to point it out, my children’s school fees is pending, which amounts to $2k and as per the 3D, I have to get it done in 13 days, I mean I have until 6th. There are so many bondages here, but what I’m doing is, I’m looking for the feeling of wish fulfilled, I need the experience, and once I reach that, I know it’s done.
Now in the meanwhile, am I anxious? No. Do I get anxious thoughts? Yes, here and there my brain gives me scenarios where the last option would be to jump from a building lol, but logically speaking, nothing in this world should make you feel that way, but anxiety is one hell of a monster, it isn’t logical, but we’re so used to believing everything that our brain provides that we forget to take a step back and ask ourselves, is it really real? Do I want to manifest this fear?
In my case, I’m revising and affirming. Somewhere I’ve almost reached the wish fulfilled, but I’m trying to reach the brazen impudence that Mr. Goddard talks about.
Tell me what should I do here? Wallow in self pity? Or use each moment as an investment and have faith in myself?

• How did you know you were done affirming/satisfied with doing techniques/ 'impressed' your subconscious?Can a person even know that Or does that vary from person to person?

I’m talking from experience, once your subconscious gets impressed, you’ll know. Understand one thing, and internalise this, sit with this, WE THINK WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR ACTIONS, WE ARE NOT! We’re not in control of our actions, we’re in control of our attention. Mr. Goddard has said this in his books, I’m paraphrasing, we cannot take actions, it’s impossible. Our subconscious/God/Soul takes action for us, we can only change our state and hold onto it, actions happen automatically.”
I will clear this part a little. Think about your morning routine. What do you do? You wake up, brush your teeth, wash your face, apply moisturiser and so on and so forth. How many times do you have to remind yourself of routine? But if you are on a vacation and your routine gets disrupted, then you have to pay close attention to everything right? Say you’re mentally not in a good state, you’ll still do your routine with precision because by now it has become a muscle memory. Even if your conscious mind is light years away, the action is still happening right? So who is taking those actions? Ask yourself.
Someone calls out your name, you might not hear it consciously, but your brain did and you’ll jerk a little, you’ll automatically turn towards it, why?
In the same way, you will know when you’ve reached the wish fulfilled, because it will come automatically. Actions will happen automatically. You’ll drop the attachment automatically. You won’t have to do anything. Your job is to control your attention”
I read this quote somewhere,
”The soul always knows how to heal itself, the challenge is to silence the mind”

• Did you use general/blanket or specific affirmations and SATS scenes for different desires ( What are your thoughts about manifesting different desires at a time?)

I’ll be honest, when it comes to techniques, I’m very spontaneous. Someday I use a specific affirmation, someday a blanket affirmation, someday I dance to a song feeling peaceful, someday I enact the scene, someday I have long (1-2 hours long) conversations out loud, it depends.
Now onto the different desires, while in theory, yes you can manifest multiple desires, I would suggest using a blanket affirmation/blanket scene for it, of writing your desires on a paper with tick boxes vowing to yourself that you’ll only check the boxes when they’ve appeared in the 3D.
One thing I’d like to say is, I always say appeared in 3D because my belief is, I manifest it the moment I feel the wish fulfilled and the only thing left is for it to appear on the screen of my 3D. Like a movie, I’ve written, directed , acted in and produced my movie and given it to the subconscious. I’m sitting with my popcorn and waiting for my subconscious to play it on the screen, if that makes sense.
Now once you’ve vowed, just affirm or imagine yourself ticking those boxes. I’ve used this technique and manifested IPhone, luxury perfume and books. If I’m remembering correctly, I had written 5 things and all manifested within 24 hours.
I hope this answers your question

• Did you ever try revision if something didn't work out in the 3D the way you wanted it? Could you explain your process?

To be honest, I’ve just started experimenting with revision. But I’ve laid the foundation here, that everything exists right here, in this moment. Everything is in me. I’ve been affirming this for more than a year. So now I’m very sure that revision will work for me like a charm.

• How do you know if you're being honest with yourself about your feelings and emotions? Did you ever feel like you were lying to yourself in the fear that the opposite thoughts would "take away" your desire

If you repeat something enough times, eventually you’ll start believing it. And if you feel like you’re not being honest with yourself, ask yourself, why you think so? Is there something in your past or you’ve done something that has given you the impression that you’re being dishonest? And if you think you’re not being honest, be honest now
To answer your second question, this is very subjective. Because you’re still living in fear if you have this question. Come back to wish fulfilled by using any/no technique. Stop giving attention to fear and start living in the wish fulfilled.

• You mentioned dimensional jumping in your post
• a) Do you think having faith/ belief in the method plays an important role in the attainment of the desired results? ( do you think this method worked only because you gave it power through your faith in it?)

The plain and simple answer is yes. Technically quantum jump is supposed to be done just in your mind but as we’re wearing the “Human cloak”, we live and thrive by looking at the 3D and it gives us a sense of accomplishment by doing something with our hands, at least for me. This little ritual, it actually puts me in the wish fulfilled very easily because I’m doing something in the 3D. I look at water as a life force, vibrational and something that’s alive and when I do the technique, I look at the glasses as 2 worlds, so that’s how it works for me.
I have given it power yes, and there are times that I don’t feel satisfied by doing it, so I do it again. I have to pay close attention to how I’m feeling just before attempting, because it sets precedence to what I’m going to feel next. It’s basically all happening in my mind, but the ritual in itself is catalyst for me to reach the wish fulfilled.

• b) If you had only performed the dimensional jumping method and not used any other technique, do you think it still would have worked?

Short answer, yes.
Long answer, technique in and on itself has no power unless we give it power. Think about people who are witches/wizards, people who believe in astrology, people who are superstitious, people who are health fanatics etc. all these people have faith, but faith in something outside of themselves and it always works for them. What they’re not understanding is, it’s them who’s doing it all, they’re just using those rituals/moons whatever as a medium to access the faith that they’ve had in them all along.

• c) I've read that you must not think about your desire after you've performed the two cup method. Is this accurate? If yes, how can one refrain from thinking about a high stake manifestation?

See darling, you make the rules. And the first rule that I HAVE MADE is, do not believe everything you see, read, hear etc. Make your own rules. If you believe that, it’ll manifest, if you don’t, it won’t.
During the court case when I attempted a jump, emotionally I was in a bad state yes? 3D was also ducked. But I looked at it as if it’s all in the past, and I persisted in my faith. I had purchased the pearl of great price.
As per my rule, I still think about my desires, I still sometimes feel anxious, but I look back at the ritual and remember the water flowing from one glass to the other and affirm, “THE ACT IS THE FACT”. It pulls me right back.

• d) Have you tried other methods of dimensional jumping? What are your experiences?

Yes, numerous. This is the simplest one, and in desperate times when I cannot bring myself to calm my emotions I do this. But there are other methods, if you ask, I’ll post.

• e) I've failed at obtaining results from this method before. Is it because I didn't have full faith that it is already true? ... Implying that this method also requires faith and is basically just another technique to experience your desired reality in the 4D.

Everything is about faith. EVERYTHING. And yes it’s a technique. If you feel it doesn’t work for you, move on. Or, you can attempt it again.

1. A few questions in one....How did you "occupy" your time waiting for the manifestation...? I know people say to live in the end, but it can be hard to release the "mind chatter" so to speak. Do you use mediums like art or exercise to help yourself? Do you keep yourself in the present moment?

You do not occupy, and if you feel like you’re doing that, it means you’re not in the wish fulfilled. Wish fulfilled means the feeling of satisfaction that it’s done. How can you wait for something that’s yours. Attempt the technique/s again with the intention of feeling fulfilled and satisfied not with the intention of getting it.
Mind chatter. Exercise your self-control. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR THOUGHTS. It’s a skill that no one can teach you but you. Work on it. Eventually your mind will become silent, it has to. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
I partake in my hobbies but not with the premise of occupying myself until my desire “Manifests”, I do it with the feeling of satisfaction/Its done. I do it with genuine gratitude. Because if you’re in the state of waiting, more waiting will materialise on the screen of your 3D.

1. how to get into sats easily. i always get uncomfortable or feel asleep

If i feel uncomfortable, I do self hypnosis or listen to brown noise. I pay attention to the sensations in my body. I affirm for the longest of time. This part will take practise. Don’t give up. Keep bringing your attention back.
Also you can read, the silva method by Jose silva, it’s a good book to learn about meditation.

1. How can you manifest something you've always dreamed of, especially when previous attempts and previous manifestations crumbled? For instance, I had a dream job in my desired country. I got my goal, through SATS and scripting, but everything fell apart. I got laid off in my dream country, had to return to my home country, and had to leave my partner behind. How to stay persistent? and how to ensure that the manifestation happens sooner? especially with someone with anxiety and impatience. How can you manifest something you've always dreamed of, especially when previous attempts and previous manifestations crumbled.

Every moment is a new moment. Everything is in the now. Time is not linear and actually there’s nothing known as time. We put ourselves in the bondages.
Persistence comes from discipline. You need to discipline yourself first.
I’ve learnt, everything starts with and from self concept. No matter how you look at it, no matter where you start from, it all boils down to self Concept.
You’re giving too much power to the past, which actually does not exist.
My advice to you would be, DECIDE, decide now that everything that happened in the past does not matter and that you’re starting now, afresh. Promise yourself that you’ll persist no matter what. Close your physical eyes and open your mind’s eye. Look at everything from the “God lens”. Work on your self concept. Lay a solid foundation. And move from there. Now onto anxiety, it’s debilitating I know, but take its power away, tell yourself that it’s just a sensation in the body, it’s what I did, take note that I’ve suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember, took pills for it. But after fighting with it, I took its power away and told myself that it’s just a sensation in the body, just like any other and after some time it would vanish. It room practice but I haven’t had an attack in 8 months.
Now onto impatience. That’s something that you will have to learn to curb. You can’t wait for what you have. It’s so simple in theory and the most difficult in the practical sense I know. But practice. Talk to yourself, ask yourself. Anything is possible.

1. thank you for this, your story inspired me a lot <3

my question would be what did you do when intrusive thoughts would pop in your head?
In the beginning, it was scary. Because we’re taught that our thoughts manifest and then it would worry me to no end. It was a never ending cycle. I took a step back one day while I was in the throes of this cycle and asked myself, who’s in control? And then I rewrote that thought. It didn’t disappear magically, but I practiced rewriting my thoughts over and over and over. Our brain is a muscle basically and the more you exercise it, the more you’ll be able to control it.

1. i want to ask if is possible to change a version of a people,,,,,if is possible to have people back and i want to ask why i have partial manifestations and not consistent

Short answer yes, it is possible. The people that you see are you, fragments of you, manifestations of you, reflections of you. We have a set of beliefs for every person we know. And the people we don’t know show in the state that we’re in. Experiment with this. Just pay attention to your state and see how unknown people show up, look at their behaviour, you’ll get your answer.
Everyone is you pushed out. You manifested them out of your life and only you can bring them back.
Look at each person as a blank slate and not as the beliefs that you have for them. We make this mistake (even I’m guilty of that), of having rock hard beliefs about any and everybody we know. If I ask you about your mother, you’ll talk until evening about how she is, and the same goes for everybody else, but for a second just remove those adjectives and just look at that person in a neutral state and then attach a new belief, you’ll get the results.
Mr. Goddard has spoken extensively about it. Please read his books.
I have changed my SP so much using the same technique that sometimes I myself don’t recognise him.
Regarding partial manifestations, you’re giving too much power to 3D and getting triggered. In the previous answers I’ve written lengthy texts about this, please refer.

1. You said that you did the two glass method again since you didn't see results and you said do it again with faith if you don't see movement in the 3D. Aren't we supposed to believe past 3D and persist in it? Does that mean you were looking to have the 3D be changed through the process and not inward where it's considered done? That part needs a little more clarification.

So I’ll start by saying that I always do the techniques with the intention of experiencing the wish fulfilled, feeling it done. Now when I say observe the 3D, it means in terms of “OBSERVATION”, neutrally, not in terms of looking for the manifestation.
This is my comment from the previous post.
Keep a note of all the emotions and feeling that you encounter while doing this. Observe the changes that you see in the 3D, but like an observer.
When in school, remember we used to do experiments in the school laboratory and we would be asked to write our observations? We used to write the observations in a very impersonal way, to the point, we wouldn’t ever include feelings or emotions in it right?
Like,
The litmus paper turned green because of the solution’s acidic nature
Or
The litmus paper turned yellow so the solution must be alkaline in nature.
We would never write:
I felt bad that the litmus paper turned red. The solution is acidic and it is messing with my mental health.
In the same way, Observe your 3D like a scientist and take notes, observations and then if you don’t see the desired results, turn you your laboratory, your imagination.
In the case of quantum jumping technique, Take notes like an experiment, write about the emotions and feeling and for the next few days take note of any shifts in your state, in the 3D and work from there. After a few days if everything remains the same, do it again.
Now when I talk about shifts in 3D, it means observe if there’s something different. I’ll give you an example. I have a T-shirt that I purchased because I liked the tom and Jerry’s jerry sticker. I love that cartoon. The night I wore it for the first time I remember my son squealing and saying “mumma I’m tom and you’re jerry”. I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw the sticker. That night I attempted a jump. The next morning I was brushing my teeth while looking at the mirror intensely and affirming, there I noticed that only one red T-shirt that I have, has Garfield as the sticker. I’ve never watched that cartoon in all my life. And an important point to note is that, while I was purchasing it online, my elder son was sitting with me, he got obsessed with that T-shirt because of jerry. I never wear any colour other than black lol. Because of my son I purchased it and then it changed to Garfield.
This is what I mean by observing, observe your surroundings, don’t take validation from it. Hope that helps.

1. How did you deal with feeling impatient, anxious or upset or feel like things arent going your way? What technique did you use to manifest through these emotions?

Please read the post, I’ve already written the answer to this question.

1. How did you manifest few things instantly , like you just received the result within a few hours ? without sats

I've internalised the fact that I’m God. Everything belongs to me. I close my eyes and say, “Thank you father for (insert desire)”, and then I let it go. It manifests quickly.
But take note of the fact that I’ve worked extensively on my self concept. I meditate daily onn the fact that I’m God, I start my day by saying that.

1. How can I manifest everything all at once?

I’m copying the answer from the post above.
I’ll be honest, when it comes to techniques, I’m very spontaneous. Someday I use a specific affirmation, someday a blanket affirmation, someday I dance to a song feeling peaceful, someday I enact the scene, someday I have long (1-2 hours long) conversations out loud, it depends.
Now onto the different desires, while in theory, yes you can manifest multiple desires, I would suggest using a blanket affirmation/blanket scene for it, of writing your desires on a paper with tick boxes vowing to yourself that you’ll only check the boxes when they’ve appeared the 3D.
One thing I’d like to say is, I always say appeared in 3D because my belief is, I manifest it the moment I feel the wish fulfilled and the only thing left is for it to appear on the screen of my 3D. Like a movie, I’ve written, directed , acted in and produced my movie and given it to the subconscious. I’m sitting with my popcorn and waiting for my subconscious to play it on the screen, if that makes sense.
Now once you’ve vowed, just affirm or imagine you ticking those boxes. I’ve used this technique and manifested IPhone, luxury perfume and books. If I’m remembering correctly, I had written 5 things and all manifested in 24 hours.
Please give me some time to post the Part 2.
Thank you.
I love you all ❤️

old version of this , this is the revised version, dead links have been removed. Please comment on anything missing.

Make sure to check out , our archive sub! DissociaDiscourse
what people consider the chain of events that started the controverys + Direct link to google doc
Timeline one + Direct link to google doc
Timeline two +Direct link to google doc
Timeline for 2022 specifically + Direct link to google doc
2023 timeline
Timeline four +Direct Link to google doc
faq for newbies
REMINDER! Google deletes google docs and archive's if the person does not sign into the account for 3+ years, be sure to save these doc's and achieves so they don't become lost media.
Youtuber's feel free to go through all these link's and make a long 4+ hour video on all of this so it is archived on youtube again (and thank you to the youtubers who cover the things on so that there are alterative versions of these archives)
Video archives
Entropy’s stream the story of everything that happen (if you YouTube search entropy + live stream more videos will appear)
Bobo and co live stream
Bobo and Co live stream about their personal experience with DissociaDID as someone who knew them irl and online
4 hour accountability video archived on the way back machine
General video’s archive / DissociaDID / Team piñata/ Bobo&co / Entropy live stream and more. Videos about the earlier controversy’s pre 2022 and past friends speaking out
Miscellaneous video archives
Hiki’s Google Drive
Lux’s Google Drive
Ama’s Google Drive
P’s Google Drive
Text based timelines
2020 hiatus time-line
Kya&Co/DissociaDID 2022 time-line
One person’s (overly comprehensive) take on the history and impact of dissociadid
racism
Black Lives Matter incident
More on the racism
One
Two
Reddit post discussing Nadia - Indigenous alter
Indigenous person speaks out on racism + Direct youtube
More on the racism
One
Two
Three - British Indian accent
SRA posts
seems to have plagiarized her alters and headspace form Illuminati books
Directly asking SRA victims their trauma on Facebook and the specifics
claims being kidnapped and water tortured at a young age
SRA trauma possibly stolen from a book
Victim of stolen trauma comes forward
More victims come forward of alleged stolen stories and spying in facebook groups
Is Omega the alter stolen
DissociaDID addressing the SRA claims
SRA, Anti-semitism, the jewish question and how they are all interconnected
has found a lot of stuff here / here
DDLG claims / flirting with minors / minor endangerment / team piñata
Team Piñata allegations summary
Team piñata mentions since the breakup
The 4 hour accountability video transcript (2020)
highlight part one / part two
Valentines live stream (2021)
Highlight / full video
Uncandid episode (2022) highlight
YouTube video (2022) Where they mention past relationships(I don’t have a highlight clip so here’s the full video part one and
two)
community post clarifying everything after mentioning their relationship in the alter update video(s) if you want a highlight for this someone tell me the time stamp.
On TikTok(2023) video one / video two
Kyaandco and Team Piñata at Disney land, people often accuse this of being fetish content of the kink ddlg.
Lack if boundaries with minors, flirting with minors & sexual comments towards minors on an account marked 18+ only archived
DissociaDID trying to keep people quiet about their ex fiancé making CP art
Their opinions on team piñata actions in 2022
Posting videos where their littles look nude
DissociaDID posts what is considered soft core and pov porn on TikTok, you can find videos similar, if not content exactly like Mara’s air humping video and Kya’s chest shot on porn sites. TikTok is a public app that is 12+, both profiles are public with way to manually age restrict children from seeing it, their videos can randomly appear on anyones suggested page due to the algorithm.
Examples
One
Two
on an account marked 18+ due to its content being sexual/sensual, they posted a thirst trap to a children’s song where children sing, this video is made to get a rise from people sexually or be seen as sensual.
Recent sexual aggression/harassment towards a commenter in tiktok
Supporting Team piñata
Unreliable testimony’s from “mental health” providers / Misinformation
One
Two
Three
Spreading misinformation
Promoting anti recovery sentiments by treating alter splits and fusions as death, this is fear mongering that stops people from wanting to heal.
Posting Triggering Eating Disorder content that could trigger other people with ED’s into relapsing
One
Two (body checking)
[Three] body check in Nan’s hat, their body has been cropped from the photo to not trigger anyone
Using their platform to abuse and bully an threaten to doxx people Add on provided by
The Two Bullying Videos "Not Liking Myself" - Quick Response to the 2nd Video
Impact of the First Video
Their Non-Apology for the Second Video, where they say TR is "playing the victim"
Tripling Down - "It's not bullying"
Order of Events’
A Viewer's Account of the Livestream
Kya Announces New 18+ Policy for Lives
Comment and Reply to Twilight's Reign
12/15/22 - The Two Bullying Videos
The Effects of the First Video
Twilight's Response to the Second Video
Doubling Down on Video Two
DARVO: Kya's Non-Apology to Twilights-reign
Reply Used in Kya's Video, Under TR's "Not Liking Myself" Thread
Twilights-reign's mentioned "Hate Video"
Attempts to Distract: Two-Week TikTok Dump DissociaDID has illegally copyrighted a small channel called Granddadslounge 3x which can result in her channel being terminated and she will no longer be able to monetized her videos even if she makes a new channel because of youtubers copy right guidelines He talks about it on their channel in lots of videos
Buried comments in this subreddit by other YouTubers who personally knew DD Buried comment left the entropy system Buried comment left by M&M buried comment left by M&M
Buried Comment by Axolotsinatrenchcoat + another comment buried comment by the Entropy system
Miscellaneous
Trauma they’ve claimed so far Scamming on Patreon and other subjects
DissociaDID Patreon: DO NOT SUPPORT. Brief explanation inside Patreon Perks
Examples of DissociaDID art they sell on Patreon monthly that is all either copied or traced without credit.
Inappropriate sexual content
Giving unsafe sex advice
Inappropriate interactions with minors
Sexual comment towards a minor on an account marked 18+ about a minor's gag relax and how they can teach them work 'work on it
Inappropriate interactions with minor's in comments on tiktok
Simulating Sex on tiktok where minor's can see, their account is not age restricted and there is no warning so even if a parent is watching they would not be able to scroll away before the simulated sex begins
Sexualizing children's media (overlay of the children's / toddler's show)
Claiming sadism is not sexual
talking to minor's on a video about sex in which video has very unsafe sex advice that is dangerous
Lack of asking for consent
Using Mike their underaged minor to flirt with people / encourage flirting
Their (current) usernames across social media
Facebook : DissociaDID
Instagram : DissociaDID
Patreon: KyaandCo
Podcasts (spotify & other streaming services):
Candid (podcast with Bradid system)
SantiTea (podcast with team piñata)
TikTok : kyaandco, TheDemoness, kyaandco_backup
Twitch : thesystemstream
Youtube : DissociaDID
Former usernames:
DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/cnwilkinsonart
Instagram: CalamityNinja Patreon: DissociaDID
Tumblr: CalamityNinja and https://
cnwilkinsonart-blog.tumblr.com/
TikTok: Ninandco, DissociaDID
Twitter: https://twitter.com/cnwilkinsonart and ninnamonroll
Revised + new links 2024 Pinned post - The controversy and why people are upset with DissociaDID /Ninandco / Kyaandco

"I won’t be resting. I don’t rest. I’d like to rest... But I don't get to rest." - Donald Trump, who famously slept through big portions of his trial, insisting that while his defense team may rest, he never will.

Legally Conned

Disgraced former President Trump took a big step toward finding out whether he’ll face voters as a convicted felon on election day, when the defense rested Tuesday in his Manhattan hush-money trial.

• Despite vowing to testify, Trump wimped out at the last minute. Legal experts, of course, had predicted that putting this notorious liar under oath could doom him. Donald Trump, Jr. attempted to justify his father’s decision by telling reporters: “You don’t subject yourself to that nonsense” — referring to the trial that, of course, Trump brought upon himself.
  
• Closing arguments are now set to kick off one week from today, because Judge Juan Merchan didn’t want to squeeze closings and deliberations in before Memorial Day Weekend. And, let’s be honest, who could blame him? So attorneys and the judge spent the afternoon deliberating over the jury charge. That’s an explanation given to the jurors about their responsibilities and impact, and how to decide the case, ideally using as little legalese as possible. Some experts argue this crucial detail could make or break this case.
  
• After the jury gets their instructions by Thursday, and lawyers begin making their closing arguments on Tuesday, the jury will meet to decide Trump’s fate. Some legal analysts have said that prison is unlikely even if Trump is found guilty, however, given that prior similar cases have only resulted in incarceration for only 1-in-10 cases.
  

The bigger question may be how voters will react — and particularly, how many independents and moderate Republicans might balk at the prospect of sending a convicted felon to the White House.

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

We all make bad decisions sometimes, and although you probably have a group chat of friends to dissect what is going on in your life, understanding the nightmare-fuel that is Supreme Court decisions might require a law degree… or 3. So let Strict Scrutiny be your guide to this decision season. From abortion bans to Trump trials - law professors and hosts Melissa Murray, Kate Shaw and Leah Litman decode the drama and break down everything you need to know- and keep you sane in the process. New episodes release every Monday wherever you get your podcasts - And now on YouTube! Plus keep an eye out for bonuses, whenever SCOTUS tries to set the nation back 60 years.

Under The Radar

The man once hailed as America’s Mayor continued his surreal descent into strange infamy this week. Rudy Giuliani pleaded not guilty to felony charges of conspiring to overturn the 2020 presidential election in Arizona on Tuesday, just days after he was served with criminal indictment papers at his own 80th birthday bash on Friday. The longtime Trump attorney was the only defendant among 11 appearing Tuesday who was ordered to post a $10,000 bond after allegedly ducking the summons for weeks.
Giuliani called in to the hearing by phone and told the court he does not have an attorney, but eventually would get one. He denied “hiding,” and slammed the indictment as “a complete embarrassment.” He said he didn’t have a copy of that indictment, but had a “general familiarity with the charges from reading it in the newspapers.” He rambled so much the judge threatened to cut his mic, saying: “I don’t want to have to mute you.”
Giuliani is already grappling with a parallel criminal case in Georgia, as well as bankruptcy and a crushing $148 million defamation debt. He’s begun raising money, bizarrely, as a coffee salesman. His decaf brand literally features a picture of Rudy sitting on a beach in flip-flops “enjoying life.” Which, we can confidently say after the week this guy just had, is definitely Fake News.

What Else?

An Associated Press executive criticized the Israeli government for seizing a camera and other equipment belonging to the media outlet. Israeli officials accused the AP of violating a new law against sharing content with Al Jazeera, the Qatar-based media organization that has been highly critical of Israel’s actions towards Palestinians. Hours later, Israeli officials reversed course, and said they would return the equipment.
Voters in Georgia are deciding today whether they want to give Fani Willis another term as District Attorney in Fulton County, GA in the Peach State’s primary. The Democratic lawyer is prosecuting Trump and his co-conspirators’ for their efforts to overturn Georgia’s 2020 election results. The judge overseeing this case is on the ballot, too. That doesn’t make us nervous at all!
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) plans to bring a bipartisan border bill back up for a vote this week as Democrats attempt to take a stronger stance on immigration heading into November. The idea seems to be to force Republicans to vote against tighter border security once again, in order to show they, and Trump, would rather campaign on this issue than solve the problem (which, it goes without saying, is the GOP’s whole thing).
President Biden’s approval rate hit its lowest level in nearly two years. Just 36 percent of Americans approve of the commander-in-chief’s job performance in the latest Reuters/ISOS poll. Top concerns include the economy, inflation and immigration.
Trump posted a video on Truth Social extolling the “creation of a unified reich.” He eventually removed the post after widespread criticism over its evident reference to actual Nazi Germany, aka, the Third Reich. And yes, he did this during Jewish Awareness Heritage Month!
Biden condemned Trump’s video as “Hitler’s language.” Vice President Kamala Harris called it “appalling.” Adam Kinzinger, the anti-Trumper former House Republican Congressman from Illinois, tweeted: “Please pardon my language, but there is not other thing to say than ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? This man is a stain, a Nazi.”
Voters are telling focus groups they're worried that Trumpism could last more than four years if he wins this election. "I wouldn’t put it past him, now that he owns the [Republican National Committee], to say, ‘Don Jr. is going to do the next term, and he’ll get two. And then Barron will get two,’" one undecided Pennsylvania swing-voter said, according to Bloomberg. (Note: Barron is, thank God, too young for this to happen.)

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Light At The End Of The Email

About 70 percent of American adults report “doing at least OK financially” according to a new survey by the Federal Reserve. In a campaign year where the economy is a top issue for many voters this is, basically, “at least OK” news for Biden, but still represents a significant drop from a high of 78 percent in 2021.
Support for abortion rights has increased, even as access to abortion has been radically curtailed in states around the country since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade nearly two years ago. Sixty-three percent of Americans said abortion should be legal in all or most cases, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey, a four-point jump since 2021, a year before the decision that overturned Roe.

Enjoy

slate on Twitter: "[flirting with the judge] so, is there a mr. demeanor"

I‘ve always had an addictive personality
Everything I touched became an addiction
Played the first video game at age 8 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Watched porn for the first time at age 11 -couldn’t stop until age 22
Smoked my first cigarette at age 12 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Pivoted into vaping -stopped at age 24
First time drinking alcohol at age 12 -drank almost every weekend until age 23 Often even under the week
Smoked my first joint at age 13 -smoked daily until age 23 (10 mf‘ing years)
Did cocaine first time at age 18 -did it every Single weekend until age 22
I also tried other drugs like speed and extasy but didn’t like them as much as coke
That shit is real expensive I can tell you that And to finance this addiction I then started dealing with drugs (mainly weed) And even tho i earned some good fucking money most of it ended up in my nose and lungs
I never robbed people face to face but I did steal a lot of bikes and other stuff
I still managed to get okay grades in school because I always saw myself as a „smart“ kid But how smart can someone be who is throwing away his life like I did
I also managed to still hit the gym regulary (somehow)
But apart from that I was outside the whole fucking day living a real „street life“(not as cool as it sounds)
And when I got home I fapped to some nasty ass porn (Like a fucking weirdo wtf was wrong with me)
I got caught high(weed) by my parents a couple of times but they didn’t knew how bad things really were. I knew that things had to change but just couldn’t make the first step
Until one day It was a friday afternoon and me and my friends already drank a few beers and smoked a bit I started laying 3 fat lines of coke on my phone when I suddenly got an incoming call.
-Mom-
just visualise how fucked up this situation is
She never called me so I knew that something must be wrong
Of course I didn’t answer And of course we still snorted these lines
About a minute later I got a text from her that our dog pocoyo died. A street dog from spain we rescued like 10 years before.
I immediately broke down in tears because I truly loved that guy I ran home and we buried him in our garden
During the „funeral“ something clicked in my head The whole family gathered and buried our loved dog And I was drunk, high and on cocaine Thats when I asked myself :
Who the fuck am I ?
What am I doing with my life ?
That day I made the decision to completely turn my fucking life around I immediately stop smoking weed and doing coke And only drank alcohol on very rare occasions
I pivoted these addictions into smoking a concerning amount of cigarettes, playing video games ,porn and binging YouTube Not good but it worked
Then I stumbled on self improvement.
And once again I became addicted.
I watched every video I could find. I definetly learned alot and always took notes to revisit At that time I was about 22 years old
It took a while to quit the other addictions which I used to replace the drugs. But I did it. I replaced them step by step
I replaced -video games -porn & hookups -weed -nicotine -alcohol -cocaine
With -reading & learning -journaling & writing -the gym -a loving relationship -meditation -chess ( I always loved that 1vs1 component in games )
Now I‘m 26. My life isn’t perfect and I still struggle with some bad habits. But I will never stop improving myself.
As Albert Einstein said: „Once you stop learning, you start dying“
I did it all by myself which im fucking proud of. But you don’t have to.
Get some help before it’s too late.
Asking others for help is not a weakness It’s a strength that many people don’t have.
If you‘re also struggling with addictions feel free to DM me. Maybe I got some first tips to help you.
Thank you for listening friends

I‘ve always had an addictive personality
Everything I touched became an addiction
Played the first video game at age 8 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Watched porn for the first time at age 11 -couldn’t stop until age 22
Smoked my first cigarette at age 12 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Pivoted into vaping -stopped at age 24
First time drinking alcohol at age 12 -drank almost every weekend until age 23 Often even under the week
Smoked my first joint at age 13 -smoked daily until age 23 (10 mf‘ing years)
Did cocaine first time at age 18 -did it every Single weekend until age 22
I also tried other drugs like speed and extasy but didn’t like them as much as coke
That shit is real expensive I can tell you that And to finance this addiction I then started dealing with drugs (mainly weed) And even tho i earned some good fucking money most of it ended up in my nose and lungs
I never robbed people face to face but I did steal a lot of bikes and other stuff
I still managed to get okay grades in school because I always saw myself as a „smart“ kid But how smart can someone be who is throwing away his life like I did
I also managed to still hit the gym regulary (somehow)
But apart from that I was outside the whole fucking day living a real „street life“(not as cool as it sounds)
And when I got home I fapped to some nasty ass porn (Like a fucking weirdo wtf was wrong with me)
I got caught high(weed) by my parents a couple of times but they didn’t knew how bad things really were. I knew that things had to change but just couldn’t make the first step
Until one day It was a friday afternoon and me and my friends already drank a few beers and smoked a bit I started laying 3 fat lines of coke on my phone when I suddenly got an incoming call.
-Mom-
just visualise how fucked up this situation is
She never called me so I knew that something must be wrong
Of course I didn’t answer And of course we still snorted these lines
About a minute later I got a text from her that our dog pocoyo died. A street dog from spain we rescued like 10 years before.
I immediately broke down in tears because I truly loved that guy I ran home and we buried him in our garden
During the „funeral“ something clicked in my head The whole family gathered and buried our loved dog And I was drunk, high and on cocaine Thats when I asked myself :
Who the fuck am I ?
What am I doing with my life ?
That day I made the decision to completely turn my fucking life around I immediately stop smoking weed and doing coke And only drank alcohol on very rare occasions
I pivoted these addictions into smoking a concerning amount of cigarettes, playing video games ,porn and binging YouTube Not good but it worked
Then I stumbled on self improvement.
And once again I became addicted.
I watched every video I could find. I definetly learned alot and always took notes to revisit At that time I was about 22 years old
It took a while to quit the other addictions which I used to replace the drugs. But I did it. I replaced them step by step
I replaced -video games -porn & hookups -weed -nicotine -alcohol -cocaine
With -reading & learning -journaling & writing -the gym -a loving relationship -meditation -chess ( I always loved that 1vs1 component in games )
Now I‘m 26. My life isn’t perfect and I still struggle with some bad habits. But I will never stop improving myself.
As Albert Einstein said: „Once you stop learning, you start dying“
I did it all by myself which im fucking proud of. But you don’t have to.
Get some help before it’s too late.
Asking others for help is not a weakness It’s a strength that many people don’t have.
If you‘re also struggling with addictions feel free to DM me. Maybe I got some first tips to help you.
Thank you for listening friends

I‘ve always had an addictive personality
Everything I touched became an addiction
Played the first video game at age 8 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Watched porn for the first time at age 11 -couldn’t stop until age 22
Smoked my first cigarette at age 12 -couldn’t stop until age 23
Pivoted into vaping -stopped at age 24
First time drinking alcohol at age 12 -drank almost every weekend until age 23 Often even under the week
Smoked my first joint at age 13 -smoked daily until age 23 (10 mf‘ing years)
Did cocaine first time at age 18 -did it every Single weekend until age 22
I also tried other drugs like speed and extasy but didn’t like them as much as coke
That shit is real expensive I can tell you that And to finance this addiction I then started dealing with drugs (mainly weed) And even tho i earned some good fucking money most of it ended up in my nose and lungs
I never robbed people face to face but I did steal a lot of bikes and other stuff
I still managed to get okay grades in school because I always saw myself as a „smart“ kid But how smart can someone be who is throwing away his life like I did
I also managed to still hit the gym regulary (somehow)
But apart from that I was outside the whole fucking day living a real „street life“(not as cool as it sounds)
And when I got home I fapped to some nasty ass porn (Like a fucking weirdo wtf was wrong with me)
I got caught high(weed) by my parents a couple of times but they didn’t knew how bad things really were. I knew that things had to change but just couldn’t make the first step
Until one day It was a friday afternoon and me and my friends already drank a few beers and smoked a bit I started laying 3 fat lines of coke on my phone when I suddenly got an incoming call.
-Mom-
just visualise how fucked up this situation is
She never called me so I knew that something must be wrong
Of course I didn’t answer And of course we still snorted these lines
About a minute later I got a text from her that our dog pocoyo died. A street dog from spain we rescued like 10 years before.
I immediately broke down in tears because I truly loved that guy I ran home and we buried him in our garden
During the „funeral“ something clicked in my head The whole family gathered and buried our loved dog And I was drunk, high and on cocaine Thats when I asked myself :
Who the fuck am I ?
What am I doing with my life ?
That day I made the decision to completely turn my fucking life around I immediately stop smoking weed and doing coke And only drank alcohol on very rare occasions
I pivoted these addictions into smoking a concerning amount of cigarettes, playing video games ,porn and binging YouTube Not good but it worked
Then I stumbled on self improvement.
And once again I became addicted.
I watched every video I could find. I definetly learned alot and always took notes to revisit At that time I was about 22 years old
It took a while to quit the other addictions which I used to replace the drugs. But I did it. I replaced them step by step
I replaced -video games -porn & hookups -weed -nicotine -alcohol -cocaine
With -reading & learning -journaling & writing -the gym -a loving relationship -meditation -chess ( I always loved that 1vs1 component in games )
Now I‘m 26. My life isn’t perfect and I still struggle with some bad habits. But I will never stop improving myself.
As Albert Einstein said: „Once you stop learning, you start dying“
I did it all by myself which im fucking proud of. But you don’t have to.
Get some help before it’s too late.
Asking others for help is not a weakness It’s a strength that many people don’t have.
If you‘re also struggling with addictions feel free to DM me. Maybe I got some first tips to help you.
Thank you for listening friends

I originally made a comment under a post talking about the Fromis situation in the Uncensored sub, where op was asking “why people keep blaming HYBE and not Pledis when each label runs independently.” But I figured it was best to just make an entire post myself to gain more traction, so I can dispel some misconceptions regarding Pledis’s independence from HYBE, and even the Fromis situation.
Keep in mind that I am not trying to, nor am I intentionally trying to defend Pledis. If anything I am part of the group of people who believe BOTH Pledis & HYBE are at fault when it comes to the mistreatment (and borderline neglect) of Fromis. HOWEVER, I do ultimately lean more towards pointing my finger at HYBE for two main reasons; 1) Because HYBE are the parent company who originally owned 85%, but now 90% of Pledis, and 2) As the parent company (& majority owner of Pledis) they ultimately hold the power to make changes & decisions within Pledis, and they also have the final say in the decisions being made in Pledis. So in other words, if HYBE wanted to promote and give Fromis comebacks, provide better treatment for them, and pay them, they very well could, and it would very well be within their power and rights to do so.
J-Carats just discovered that HYBE now owns 90% of Pledis as of April 2024.. HYBE went from owning 85% to now 90% of Pledis, and yet people still want to believe they are Independent, and that the only thing HYBE provides their sub labels are resources and money. But why?… why do these people believe this? Isn’t it because it’s supposedly what HYBE said? Because so far all anyone has to say when asked why they believe these labels run independently, is that it’s because “that’s what HYBE said.” But yet there have been so many instances proving the complete opposite, especially when it comes to Pledis.
Instances such as…
• As soon as HYBE acquired Pledis the release time and day of SEVENTEEN’s popularity variety show ‘Going Seventeen’ had to be changed. Went from being released at 10pm on Mondays to 9pm on Wednesdays so it would align with the other HYBE groups variety shows who have their variety shows released on other days of the week at 9pm.
• ⁠They switched SEVENTEEN’s Japanese distributors from LAWSON Japan (a very good promoter & distributor), to HYBE Japan. Which had also resulted in SEVENTEEN having to abandon their Japanese YouTube channel (which has over 1m subscribers), because HYBE wants ALL mvs (including the Japanese ones) to be posted on the HYBE channel instead. The YT channel is still there, but it hasn’t been active for over 2 years now.
• They disbanded Nu’est, and whether HYBE stans want to admit it or not Nu’est disbanding was definitely HYBE’s decision. Pledis had EVERY chance to disband Nu’est (especially back in their earlier years pre-produce 101), but they never did. The mere fact that there is solid evidence showing Pledis was preparing to celebrate the group’s 10th yr anniversary and not a disbandment is another indicator that the choice to have Nu’est disband was HYBE’s. Even during the filming/shooting of their so called disbandment album ‘Needle & Bubble’ you can hear the members throughout the video referring to the album as their anniversary album and “an album to commentate their 10th year,” not a disbandment album. You can even tell just by how the members speak of the album and even their career as a group after disbanding that they were completely blindsided and caught off guard. Even the mere fact that one of the members (Aron) literally said they “were not given the choice in the matter,” also heavily implies that only some of the members (Minhyun and Baekho) got the offer to re-sign with the company while the others did not.
• Because Pledis became a subsidiary (aka a sub label) of HYBE they had to shut down ‘SuperStar Pledis’ because it was a direct competitor to HYBE’s own music game app Rhythm Hive, and “interesting enough” Fromis’s music has yet to be included in Rhythm Hive despite SEVENTEEN’s music already being there. It’s been over 3 years mind you.
• ⁠Bang PD literally inserting himself into SEVENTEEN’s music during RTL era as a producer. As well as him also being present during TWS’s evaluation for their debut. You can literally see him with HSS watching over TWS giving his approval for their debut in their prologue video. If these labels are independent (especially Pledis), why is Bang PD there? Especially when he isn’t even the CEO of HYBE anymore?
• HYBE literally being the reason SEVENTEEN could no longer perform on Music Core (MBC’s music show). Anyone who knows SEVENTEEN knows that they are basically MBC’s children. MBC has continuously showed their fondness & support towards SEVENTEEN since their debut (for instance, they gave SVT their very first music show win, & their very first reality show). But because of the HYBE & MBC’s feud every group affiliated with HYBE (even the acquired ones) could no longer perform on Music Core or even appear on certain shows related to MBC (such as ISAC). It wasn’t until I believe last year that HYBE & MBC finally squashed their beef, and literally as soon has that happened MBC literally congratulated SEVENTEEN on their return. It doesn’t matter what their feud was, if these sub-labels were truly independent from their parent company, then whatever feud HYBE had with MBC should not have affected the artists of these labels, much less the ones that were acquired.
• Stripping the group’s official colors (Rose Quartz & Serenity) from the Caratbong ver3. This one is very obviously HYBE’s decision given the way the other lightsticks from the other HYBE groups are mostly black as well. SEVENTEEN themselves (esp Scoups) actually talked about how they had given ideas for what they wanted the ver3 lightstick to look like, but according to Coups NONE of it was actually incorporated into the lightstick. As much as Carats HATE Pledis (me included), Carats know for a fact that Pledis always did listen to and incorporate SVT’s ideas, and they definitely would not have ever thought to remove their representative colors (Rose Quartz & Serenity) from their lightsticks.
• They literally replaced the original Pledis CEO (& founder) Han Sung-Soo (HSS) with a former BigHit Vice President (VP) named Lee Dahye. Now apparently HSS is rumoured to be an In-House Director in Pledis and no longer the CEO, and he hasn’t been since 2022. They also removed the former Pledis VP Kim Yeon-Soo (KYS) and transferred him to HYBE Labels Japan (the sub label of HYBE Japan that houses &TEAM) to become the General Manager. So literally the original people in power at Pledis are no longer there and haven’t been since 2022. HSS was heavily involved in producing Fromis music (even some of Izone’s music), and he is probably the reason why Fromis ended up being taken in by Pledis when their former company Off The Record (OTR) seized to exist. While KYS is basically dubbed the father of SEVENTEEN. He is someone Carats very much like & appreciate. So it’s pretty interesting that HSS was switched out for a former BIGHIT employee, while KYS was transferred to another HYBE label, in which anyone can tell that was clearly HYBE’s doing.
Those are just some of the instances proving just how much HYBE clearly gets involved with Pledis (especially SEVENTEEN). Even to the point of making decisions & changes such as replacing CEOs and transferring VPs. So idk why people think because HYBE said these labels will remain independent that it means they will actually follow through with what they said. Aren’t we smart enough to not believe everything a corporation tells us and says, much less one that runs on money and has shown greed for it. Just because they say the labels will run independently does not mean that it will actually happen. And as far as I myself have seen, they have not shown us any reason to believe these labels are as independent as we are meant to believe, especially when it comes to Pledis.
As of April 30th 2024 HYBE now owns a whooping 90% of Pledis (they originally owned 85%), which is more than how much they own of ADOR (80%), Source Music (80%) and KOZ (66%). In other words, SEVENTEEN, Fromis, & TWS are technically more of a HYBE group than Le Sserafim, NewJeans, and BND. And if CJ E&M hadn’t given their entire shares to HYBE last year (in which HYBE originally only owned roughly around 48% of BELIFT), they would have also been more of a HYBE group than Enhypen & ILLIT. Let’s also take into consideration that the original Pledis CEO (and founder) HSS never had more than 10% shares of Pledis since the HYBE acquisition. He went from having supposedly 50% to now 10% after the acquisition. Which is less shares compared to MHJ for ADOR (18%) and Zico for KOZ (33%). Which alone tells us that Pledis isn’t as independent compared to the others, nor does the founder HSS have as much power over Pledis compared to Zico (the founder of KOZ) and MHJ (founder of ADOR).
Furthermore, I am not sure a lot of people are aware of this, but during the acquisition process (when Hybe was trying to acquire Pledis) there was actually a 3rd party involved (SONY Music), and that 3rd party is actually the reason HYBE was able to gain majority shares over Pledis. Before HYBE acquired Pledis the shares over Pledis was split between SONY Music and HSS. Interesting enough back in 2019 when CJ E&M wanted to acquire Pledis, SONY had originally wanted to sell their shares to CJ E&M, however HYBE (who was originally known as BigHit at the time) inserted themselves, and that’s when speculation & claims of Pledis possibly being acquired by HYBE started circulating around, with Pledis initially denying the claims. But then Pledis & SONY ended up rejecting CJ E&M, and in 2020 decided to accept HYBE instead. HYBE was able to gain 50% combined shares from SONY & HSS in May of 2020, but then SONY decided to give HYBE an additional 35% a month later (in June) resulting in HYBE gaining a whooping 85% shares of Pledis, while HSS was left with 10% and SONY with 5%. So for those who want to say that Pledis (or the CEO of Pledis) “willingly gave HYBE ownership,” no they did not, it was SONY. Some people have speculated that HSS may have been cornered by SONY into giving up most of his shares (resulting in HYBE having the majority) given SONY, CJ E&M, HYBE’s relationships with one another. And now K-Carats have now discovered that HYBE had gained an additional 5% shares of Pledis back in April, bringing their total shares up to 90%. With it being speculated that it might have been SONY who gave their remaining 5% to HYBE. Anyways, it’s VERY interesting that the current Pledis CEO is specifically a former BIGHIT employee.
Another reason why I am more inclined to place blame on HYBE along with Pledis (but more so HYBE) is because of the way they seem to actively ignore or somewhat neglect Fromis. HYBE themselves barely acknowledge Fromis. We rarely see HYBE include or mention Fromis especially when highlighting groups from HYBE (for an example, during RUN NEXT when HYBE was listing out HYBE groups they mentioned nearly every HYBE group even Seventeen, but not Fromis). Even with their game app ‘Rhythm Hive’ Fromis music is not included and it has been nearly 3 years since Fromis has been part of HYBE, and yet BND is already included into the game. Furthermore, another person made a good point in highlighting the fact that Fromis “are constantly excluded or briefly highlighted in HYBE shareholders' reports. That even when it comes to the general HYBE communication or projects, Fromis is either excluded or just briefly higlighted,”
Besides, it’s standard practice for companies to give regular accounting reports on their investments, and if something fishy was truly going on in Pledis with regard to Fromis, then HYBE as a parent company (and majority shareholder) has a responsibility to deal with it, not to mention they would have most definitely known about it. Like I stated in my post, if HYBE wanted to give Fromis regular comebacks and make sure they were being treated fairly (since they claim they don’t discriminate between their artists) then they would’ve.
[EDIT] - Why do people think I am blaming HYBE for everything wrong with Pledis? I am not, I am simply trying to prove that HYBE does indeed interfere with things related to Pledis (especially Seventeen). That they don’t just give resources & fundings like people (esp HYBE stans) love to state. I blame BOTH Pledis & HYBE for Fromis’s mistreatment and neglect. But I find it ridiculous that some people do not think HYBE shares any blame even when knowing that they are the parent company who owns majority (90%) of Pledis.
Furthermore more, most of what I listed down has nothing to do with day-to-day decision makings. Replacing and reinstating a new Pledis ceo IS NOT some day-to-day decision making and it’s certainly not a decision HYBE would’ve had no involvement with or even responsibility for. Especially when the new Pledis ceo is literally someone directly from BigHit. SEVENTEEN’s contract with LAWSON Entertainment Japan being dropped in favour for HYBE JAPAN is also not some day-to-day decision making. That’s years of a relationship built between Pledis/SVT & Lawson that had to end because HYBE simply wanted to keep most of the money between themselves. The MBC situation is also not some day-to-day decision. That was a long standing beef that impacted and affected even groups acquired by HYBE.
The way I see it, it feels like people do not really understand what kind of actual day-to-day and minor decisions are. Things such deciding what concept or an image their artists will take on (whether for a debut or a comeback), external brands their artists will work with, shows their artists will appear on, what content/merch their artists can put out and release, etc…those are day-to-day decisions that sub labels can and do make. That even though HYBE oversees them still , they however, do not need to share their input or interfere unless it’s something that can affect the overall company (aka HYBE) in a negative way.

Vinhad EP8 Attribution list
In order of appearance
Intro and Outro
Music: Suspensify by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Used the first 18 seconds of audio for intro
Title: “Dracula's Coming │ Dark Pipe Organ Music (Royalty Free)”
Creator: “Jakub Ondrias Music Composer “—https://www.youtube.com/@jacobsmusic3867
Source: “Dracula's Coming │ Dark Pipe Organ Music (Royalty Free) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_UI4TUqZE54
License: “Attribution 3.0 Unported”—https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcode
Used the first 35 seconds for the intro
Title: Fire - Candle Flicker - SFX Producer ( No Copyright Sound Effects )
Creator: “Sound Effects “—https://www.youtube.com/@sfxworld
Source: “YouTube”-https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=ky9tN-VBGeg
License: “Attribution 3.0 Unported”—https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcode
Used the first 35 seconds for intro
Music: Dark Hollows by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
1: S: Whip Crack Swish by deleted_user_6479820 License: Creative Commons 0 From Freesound.org
Auf Grünen Wiesen Music by elias_weber from Pixabay
grandfather-clockdown Sound Effect from Pixabay
S: Painful Sounding Punches by kuzyaburst License: Attribution 3.0 https://freesound.org/people/kuzyaburst/sounds/196120/
used the last 2 seconds of audio at 10:26
then used last half under a second at 17:26
S: Headshot.wav by Pablobd License: Creative Commons 0 https://freesound.org/people/Pablobd/sounds/511194/
Made the reloading sound
S: Bullet Casing On Concrete 2.wav by SmartWentCody License: Attribution 4.0 https://freesound.org/people/SmartWentCody/sounds/179005/
S: Camera Shutter Open.wav by theplax License: Attribution 4.0
S: shell load.ogg by CeebFrack License: Creative Commons 0
S: g_whiff_3.mp3 by deleted_user_6479820 License: Creative Commons 0
https://freesound.org/people/deleted\_user\_6479820/sounds/353048/
Arrow Wood Impact Sound Effect by Dennis from Pixabay
Music: [Battle+of+the+Creek+-+320bit] by Alexander Nakarada (www.serpentsoundstudios.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
S: Basic Melee Swing / Miss / Whoosh by SypherZent License: Creative Commons 0
https://freesound.org/people/SypherZent/sounds/420668/
S: tiger roar by videog License: Attribution 4.0 https://freesound.org/people/videog/sounds/149190/
used the last 1:30 seconds of audio at 18:01
Used the last 1:30 of audio at 18:13
Music: [Battlefield+-+320bit] by Alexander Nakarada (www.serpentsoundstudios.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Fishing Rod Swish Swoosh Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music: Pathfinder by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Made the reloading sound
S: Bullet Casing On Concrete 2.wav by SmartWentCody License: Attribution 4.0 https://freesound.org/people/SmartWentCody/sounds/179005/
S: Camera Shutter Open.wav by theplax License: Attribution 4.0
S: shell load.ogg by CeebFrack License: Creative Commons 0
THE LOOMING SHADOW Music by Brandon Wilson from Pixabay
Music: Skeleton Keys by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
used only the first 26 seconds of audio

Got a nice selection today! Silver Price/oz is $32.10 at time of post, Gold Price is $2421.90. Items tested with Sigma when possible. Prices Valid with Silver Spot under $32.50/oz and Gold Spot under $2450
 
Imgur is super glitchy today, so bear with me on the photos!
 
Proof
 
Constitutional SILVER

Price	Item	Quantity
$220 (under melt!)	$10 FV Washington Quarter Tube	$50 FV
$225 (under melt!)	$10 FV Walking Liberty Half Dollar Tube	$65 $40 FV
$135	$5.50 FV of SLQs, some with dates, most dateless	1
$507 $500	Lot of 19x Cull Silver Dollars, 17 Peace + 2 Morgans	1

 
14K & 18K GOLD Jewelry

Price	Item	Quantity
$485	14K Gold Necklace marked "MQ", 10.65 grams	sold
$570	14k Gold Necklace w/ Pendant w/ stones marked Italy, 12.5 grams	1
$525/each or $1,030 for both (well under melt!)	18k Gold Bangles w/ Egypt markings, out of round, combined weight 18.55 g	sold

 
Payment Methods:

• Zelle
• Venmo
• PayPal FF (5+ buyer feedback)

 
I ship to all 50 states, APO/FPO, PR & the territories. Shipping is $6 under 12 oz, and $9 for anything 13 oz or more. Upgrade to $9 flat rate priority if desired. Customers located outside of CONUS please contact me for shipping rate. I pack well and tightly, but once I drop off it is the carrier's responsibility. Insurance and Signature Confirmation available at cost. Comment here first, then Chat please!
 
Security Pledge: My reddit account is secured with 2FA, I suggest you do the same. I can supply proof photos of individual items upon request. If there is ever a question as to the legitimacy of account ownership, I will gladly verify myself on other platforms and/or with previous buyers if desired. Stay safe everyone.
 
Thanks for looking!

My Adsense application is getting rejected over and over
They are just sending a standard email of “ Thank you for your interest. After reviewing your application, our specialists have found that it does not meet our program criteria”
It looks like they have made an Adnsense account for me, I see it in my Google account.
In the account it says “ you need to fix some issues before you can use Adsense for YouTube” and under that “ meet Adsense program policies, to earn with Adsense, you need to meet Adsense policies” , and then the option to click on “ I confirm I’ve read policies “ and then resubmit.
I’ve done this three times already? How am I supposed to fix what I don’t know?
My YouTube is a vlog/lifestyle . Nothing graphic, no cussing , we have great engagement and original content, no copyright strikes etc. Have met YPP qualifications.
I am the United States , well over 18 and I own the account.
What could be the issue? I’ve worked so hard on the account and I really would like to be monetized!

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$4.31 -Super Hot Eucerin Daily Hydration Broad Spectrum SPF 30 Sunscreen Body Cream for Dry Skin, 8 Oz Tube Go to Amazon.com. add to cart for $7.69 - $3 1st subscribe - 5% w/ subscribe = $4.31. Shipping is free with Prime.
Memorial Day Savings Live Now! @Walmart.com Go to Walmart.com, Choose Free in store pickup or Free Shipping w/$35+ Order. Acer Aspire 3 15.6-in FHD Laptop w/Ryzen 7, 512GB SSD for $359.00 $499.00 Travelhouse 3 Piece Hardside Luggage Set for $89.99 $299.99 onn. 100044717 75-in Class 4K UHD 2160P LED Frameless Roku Smart TV for $448.00 $498.00 Arctic King 3.2 Cu ft Two Door Mini Fridge for $129.00 $198.00 Dyson V8 Origin+ Cordless Vacuum for $299.99 $419.99 Sportspower Arcadia Metal Swing Set with Trapeze for $154.00 $181.87 Canon EOS R100 Mirrorless Camera with RF-S 18-45mm Lens + SanDisk 64GB Memory Card + Case + LED Flash + ZeeTech Accessory Bundle for $489.99 $694.99 Frigidaire FRFS2823AS 27.8 Cu. Ft. Stainless French Door Refrigerator for $1565.18 $3049.00 Prettycare Cordless Stick Vacuum Cleaner Lightweight for Carpet Floor Pet Hair W200 for $79.99 $299.99 FDW 8 Inch Full Gel Memory Foam Mattress for $129.99 $399.99 GOTRAX Rival Adult Electric Scooter, 8.5-inch Pneumatic Tire for $198.00 $298.00 Click Here to browse all
$99.99 (was $150) -Super Hot Anker Power Bank Power Station 60,000mAh Portable Generator Go to Amazon.com, add it to your cart. And Free Shipping. Outdoor Generator 87W with Smart Digital Display, Retractable Auto Lighting and SOS Mode, Home Backup(PowerCore Reserve 192Wh) for Travel, Camping
$3.83 -Super Hot V8 Strawberry Banana 100% Fruit and Vegetable Juice, 8 fl oz Can (6 Pack) Go to Amazon.com. add to cart for $4.98 - 18% 1st subscribe (more V8 Sale) - 5% w/ subscribe = $3.83. Shipping is free with Prime.
Memorial Day Sale: Up to 60% Off + Extra 30% Off Sale Items @PUMA.com Go to PUMA.com, Save up to 60% Off Sitewide. Online prices reflect final discount. Plus Extra 30% Off Sale Items w/coupon SUMMER. Free Shipping w/$60+ Order. Exclusions apply. Mens, Womens Puma Essentials Men's Logo Tee for $14.99 - 30% Off = $10.49 Puma Contempt Demi Men's Training Shoes for $42.99 - 30% Off = $30.09 Puma Essentials Logo Men's Pants for $29.99 - 30% Off = $20.99 Puma Essentials Women's Logo Tee for $14.99 - 30% Off = $10.49 Puma Serve Pro Lite Women's Sneakers for $33.99 - 30% Off = $23.79
$99 -Super Hot CRAFTSMAN V20 20-volt Max Cordless Battery String Trimmer and Leaf Blower Go to Lowes, add it to your cart. And Free Shipping.
$1.84 -Super Hot Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds Breakfast Cereal, Honey Cereal with Granola Clusters and Sliced Almonds, 12 OZ Box Go to Amazon.com. Add to cart for $2.99 - $1 1st subscribe - 5% w/ subscribe = $1.84. Shipping is free with Prime. Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal 5 ct Nature Valley Savory Nut Crunch Bars for $2.47 - $0.38 at checkout - 25% subscribe coupon - 5% w/subscribe = $1.35
$8.45 for 5 Jif Natural Creamy Peanut Butter Spread and Honey, 16 Ounces, Contains 80% Peanuts Go to Amazon.com. select Qty 5 under subscribe for $2.99 x 5 - 25% off (clip coupon) - 5% with subscribe - $5 off on 5 items = $8.45. Shipping is free w/Prime or on $35+.
See more deals at https://zelement.com/deals

The woman im looking for can be anywhere from 18 age of age, ideally in the uk if not Europe
My hobbies are gaming (Xbox series X and PC/Steam Deck but also switch that I never play) the games I normally play are single player games. Fallout/Skyrim/Dragon Age/ Mass effect also GTA but haven't played online for years
Watching YouTube (pc related, Scambaiting, gaming, music, wrestling and true crime), Tv and movies which I do have a list I need to start on.
I'm also trying to get into reading more books so I can spend less time on technology
If I don’t reply straight away I might be at work
I am happy to chat about anything
I am an introvert if that matters
No under 18s but happy to speak to anyone over that age