Totally busted

Don’t come near the Lord.
Unless u are the jungler there is no need for u to be near the Lord if the rest of the team is taking it… ESPECIALLY IF THE ENEMY BARATS IS STILL ALIVE , I mean if the enemy jungle is still alive.
Please please please stop hitting the Lord and instead zone the enemy jungle out. That is your job, no one else can do it but you. Isn’t that amazing? Only you can do it, all those defence items u bought finally come in handy, and your cc skills that no one follows up on? Doesn’t matter! Use them anyway! All u need to do is distract them and buy time.
No enemies around? Check the bushes. Still no enemies? Check the bushes again Still can’t find them? CHECK.THE.BUSHES. AGAIN. CHECK THEM 50 TIMES IF U HAV TO!!!
“B…But OP, I’m not the roamer, I’m playing EXP lane”. IT DOESNT MATTER U ARE THE TANK!!!! CHECK THE DAMN BUSHES
If the enemy jungle pops up on the map. Go say hello! Show them your shiny defence items that u definitely built to counter them and not just a random mismatch of whatever comes first in the shop. It’s even better if u hit them w a few of your skills to keep them occupied, oh? They’re hitting u back? FANTASTIC! Keep it up!
“B…But OP, now the entire team is on me and they are bursting me down. I’m gonna die and hav nothing to show for it”.
Ah my sweet, sweet little punching bag, hav u ever heard of a post objective team fight? It’s this bizarre occurrence that happens after a neutral objective is taken where one or both teams start fighting each other even though the objective has already been taken. Usually it is initiated by the team that loses the objective in order to justify the time they wasted contesting it and also to hopefully give them an advantage when the enemy lord spawns. The correct play for the victorious team would be to disengage and wait for the Lord to spawn in order to increase map pressure, but 99% of the time they will retaliate for no apparent reason. This is where u come in my chunky hunkey. U see right before the POTF they would hav used at least a few skills/ults/spells in order to bust u down. This drastically increases the chances of your team to not get totally wiped out and waste a lord. See? Even in death u are impacting the game.
So please, for all that is holy, get away from the Lord.
Today I beg, tomorrow I will not.
Thank u

This sub helped a lot in planning for our trip to Paris with our 6 year old twins. I thought I'd share my experience in case it woudl be helpful for others.
We booked an apartment in the 14th, away from the busier city center, but still easy to access much of the city; within 30 minutes by metro. A friend used to live nearby so I was familiar with the neighborhood and new it would be a good place for the kids, with lots of parks within walking distance. It was a lot cheaper than something similar in a more central neighborhood and met our needs nicely.
Our general plan was not to try to pack too much in to any given day. We passed on the museums this trip and focussed more on seeing the city and eating out.
We mostly ate near the apartment, except for lunches. Breakfast each day was at a bakery nearby. We found one we all enjoyed, that had a lovely terrace and went back daily.
Highlights:

• Our son loves soccer. We carried a ball in a backpack everywhere we went. He got to play soccer with lots of local kids and had an absolute blast.
• Our daughter loves sweets. She enjoyed dessert with every meal and looking into the bakeries around the city. Pistachio eclairs were her favorite.
• We had lunch at Chalet des Iles at the Bois de Boulogne and at the restaurant in the Jardin de Plantes. Both had kids menus and food that was a step up for the us.
• My daughter asking me to dance with her on the steps of the Sacre Coure. My heart melted.
• Jardin d'Acclimation. We all enjoyed it more than Disney. Way cheaper, easier to get to and tastier food options.
• Lunch at Le Plomb du Cantal - Truffade is one of my favorite foods :)
• Date night - We have a friend that lives locally that watched the kids one night.

What worked well for us:

• Lots of park time! If we went to see something that the kids weren't as interested in, we followed it up with some park time. Some mornings or afternoons, we just hung out at the park. We picked up some baked goods, a sandwhich or salad, got a coffee and chilled in a beautiful park, drinking nice coffee and having wonderful snacks.
• Taking it super slow. We let the kids sleep in (they woke up around 8:30).
• Our French is very rudimentary. Hellos, thank yous, pleases and a handful of phrases. We taught the kids to say a few things as well. Most people quickly switched to English. Everyone was extremely welcoming.
• Quick dinners with the kids. After a long day out, we ate early most nights and got the kids to bed close to their normal bed times.
• Every restaurant had a limited kids menu. Sometimes just one or two options. One of the kids will eat anything and loves trying new foods. The other is super picky. They both did very well. Sometimes we ordered a few items a la carte if the kids menu didn't fit their tastes. At home we have them eat what we do, so they get used to a variety, we were far less strict on the trip and let them choose what sounded good to them. They loved that part!
• Train rides everywhere. They enjoyed the experience of riding the metro and RER.
• Navigo Decouverte passes for everyone made travel around the region super simple and cost effective
• Sketchbooks and crayons in the backpack to keep the kids busy at restaurants. They enjoy eating out but max out at about an hour. Many meals took longer than that and having somethign to do heped a lot.
• Cheese from the farmers market: I got a freezer bag from Picard to bring back some amazing cheeses.

Things that we did that the kids didn't really enjoy:

• The Eiffel Tower - The lines were long. We reserved tickets and it still took us about 70 minutes to get to the elevator. The kids didn't care much about the view, though we enjoyed it.
• Beataux Mouche - I thought it would be a hit. But it was a total bust for the kids.

We'd been to Paris before and didn't feel the need to try to see much. Our goal was for the kids to see a bit of the world that is different than our US suburb, try some new foods and hopefully instill a love of travel in them. The kids absolutely loved it and we so enjoyed watching them enjoy the trip.

During the course of my career as an alpha Sasquatch hunting, Dogman destroying, pussy crushing, luxury watch loving dude, I have run into this particular woman a few times. She is one part uber sensuality, and the other part deadly. Yes, I am speaking about the lovely, Anna Conda. I bring her up because I had another run-in with her last year.

Anna and I first joined forces, so to speak, when she acted as a go-between in my business deal with the Chinese to sell them bigfoot parts. See, I would hunt and kill the critters, cut them up, deliver the parts to Anna, who in turn gave me a suitcase containing unmarked American hundred-dollar bills, then she would transport the bigfoot parts to the Chinese. I was never really sure of what the sneaky-ass Chinese were doing with the body parts. All I knew for sure is that they are extracting certain materials from them, then synthesizing them with some other shit, creating some sort of drug. Whether it then becomes a bio-weapon or a dick stimulant, I do not know. Neither do I care. As long as they kept the hundies coming, I was good.

Now, while Anna is of Russian descent, she is a freelancer. She will work for any sick, skeevy motherfucker out there. She does not care. She has no conscience, at least not in the traditional sense as we understand it in western civilization. Today she is working for the Chinese, and tomorrow she may be working for Hamas. She is a slippery motherfucker.

So here is how it went down. At 11:32 p.m. on a Friday in September of last year I get a call on my cell phone. When the call came in I was balls deep into this hot little lass I picked up at the bus station a little earlier in the evening from an old swarthy chap named “Colorado Joe”. He wanted to sell me the girl. I was assured she was over 20 years old. I told him I needed to take her out for a test ride, which he agreed to.

So, there I was, balls deep in “Bing Bang Yun”, and my phone rings. Of course, I silence all incoming calls not in my contacts list. Thus, I knew that I must know the caller. In mid stroke I reached over to the nightstand to retrieve my cell and looked at it. It was a call from “Sergio”. I thought, “Oh shit…. I am going to have to cut the Oriental bang circus short.” When Sergio calls, I have to respond…immediately. He has the best blow on the east coast!!

“Hey, Serge! What’s up?”, I asked. All he said was, “Hooters. 2:00 a.m.”, then hung up. This was obviously the rendezvous for the transaction. Now, understand that Serge was not talking about the chicken wing restaurant. Hooters was code, in case the feds were listening in on the line. “Hooters” meant the titty bar out on Highway 69 called “The Plump Rump”. We had a communications code we used.

It was a long haul to the titty bar, so I needed to get moving. I had no time to return the girl to Colorado Joe, so I took her with me. I had her blow me on the way to the meeting with Sergio, telling her that her performance would make the difference on whether I save her from Joe or not. Of course, after she was done I tossed her out of my speeding truck and down, over the bridge, and into the Wendigo River below. I did not need any complications in my life right now.

I arrived at The Plump Rump at 2:00 a.m. on the dot. I saw the manager, Lou Skunt, sitting at the bar when I walked inside. I nodded. He walked over and said to me, “Use my office for the meeting The parties are already in there waiting for you.” I nodded and then headed to Lou’s office. Then it hit me: Lou said the “PARTIES” are already here. That is, parties, meaning more than one person. It was not just Sergio. It was 2 or more people! Lou was probably in for a cut of whatever was about to go down.

Something was bad fucked up!! I know for a fact that Sergio never brings anyone with him on a deal, at least not with me. He is too distrustful of people to do that, and too fucking mean to need protection. Something was wrong. I was just as likely to get whacked when I enter Lou’s office as anything else. I needed a moment to think things through.

I took a spot in front of one of the performance poles to watch a young, swarthy Mexican lass perform. My mind quickly strayed from the problem at hand to this brown chick’s ass and tits. She was not a great looking chick, but her body was smoking!! I quickly became aroused. I thought to myself, “Goddamn Asian bitches!! They are just like Chinese food – after 2 hours you are ready for some more!!”

When the little Mexican chick went on break I motioned her over to my table. “Hola Senior!!”, she said. I pulled out a clear plastic baggie of blow and dropped it on the table. Her eyes grew wide and slobber starting falling from her mouth. Blow is like catnip for strippers. Thus, she fell under my spell immediately.

The next thing I know, this brown girl was on my lap, dry humping me like a feral bitch dog in heat. I had to bang her. I NEEDED to see my wang penetrating her. Just then, someone taps my shoulder hard. I look up to see Lou standing over me. He bent down and said, “Did you forget about my office, asshole?!?!?!” I replied, “Damn, Lou!! You read my mind!!!” I arose, with the little Mexican bolted onto my mid-section, and hastily retreated to Lou’s office. I figured Lou would prefer me to stain this chick in private rather than out in the open.

The door to the office opened easily. The lights were on inside. In a lustful haze, I set the little Mexican chick on her back across Lou’s desk and started pumping the shit out of her, completely unaware of the others in the room with us. In a moment I heard someone call my name. I twist my neck around to see Sergio sitting on Lou’s jizz crusted couch. I think to myself, “Oh shit! I forgot about that shit!”

I figured I would just move forward with the deal as it was proposed to me. “Hey Serge! What ya got for me, dude?”, I asked. He replied, “I have a very special deal for you. I need, uh … yeah, ……Hey, Rod, you want to stop for a moment so we can talk?” I picked up the little tamale and laid her down onto Sergio’s lap as I continued to plow her. She stayed on my cock the whole time. I told Sergio, “No, man. I’m good! Lay it on me!” Slowly, Sergio lowered his face into his palm.

Then it happened. The voice cam from behind me, in the dark corner of Lou’s office. It was velvety yet hard as steel. “Rod. Went need to talk”, it said. Even though I did not stop pumping the little brown chick, a chill went down my spine when I heard those words. It was the thick timbre of the voice, I think, that alerted me.

I turned to look across the room. There, sitting in a red leather captains chair against the wall was the source of the sultry voice: Anna Conda.

I picked up the little taco yet again and turned her around so I could face Anna as I continued pumping her. At this point the Mexican girl was merely a masturbation toy I was using. I increased my pump so I could dump my load and get this over with. Then BAMM!!!, it was over. I removed the lass from my huge rod, after which her body crumpled to the floor. I did not know if she was dead or injured, or what had happened to her. But I did not care either, so I did not dwell on it.

I tried to compose myself the best I could, then walked over to stand before Anna so I could get to the bottom of all this business. “Well, well, well. Anna Conda. We meet again. Tell me, what brings you here, to my little neck of the woods?”

Anna replied, “Rod, put your dick away.” I looked down and, indeed, I had forgotten to stow my cock. Out of pure curtesy, I packed it away. Then I returned my attention to Anna. “Alright, Anna, what’s going on here?”

Anna launched into a startling tale about what brought her to me. As she spoke I became lost in her wanton beauty. She got up from her chair and walked about the room as she relayed her story, presumably to make it more dramatic and demonstrative. I got a full-on view of her body, and it was fantastic!!

She stands 5’10’’ and weighs 105 lbs. She is lithe. She was showing it off too, wearing a black, silk dress that landed just about her ankles. The top was low-cut, betraying just a bit of cleavage from her C-cup wineglass titties. She was not wearing a bra. Anna never wears a bra. Her nips were perfectly outlined through the silk. In fact, I think her nips were hard. It was probably something she did on purpose in an attempt to influence me. It was working.

Anna’s ass was perfect. It was not at all fat, but round enough not to be skinny. It was a fit figure skater’s ass. As she walked, I could see a tiny bit of jiggle emanating from her ass flesh, and then reverberated in the silky black dress she wore. My cock began growing hard again.

Her face was beautiful. Think Scarlett Johanson and Phoebe Cates rolled into one. But any sweetness this may evoke is quickly dispelled by Anna’s throaty voice with its thick Russian accent. I have known Anna for 20 years. Yet, she still does not look a day over 25. Jesus Christ!!! If ever there was a chick to die for ….. If I was one to delve into the belief of the paranormal, then I may conclude that Anna made a deal with the devil. But, I am not such a person.
And literally, Anna Conda is a chick to die for. She is deadly as fuck. She will kill you in a split second without a thought just because she does not like the shirt you are wearing. She can do it too. She is always armed and she knows how to use her weapons. Moreover, she is a total psychopath. This makes her doubly dangerous.

Anna and I have always gotten along for the most part. Like Anna, the dollar is my primary motivating factor. Such a mindset allows for understanding and predictability among people, which are elements that are sorely missing in many business dealings today that go on in the color of darkness.

Suddenly, Anna snapped me out of my thoughts. “Here’s your gun, Rod. Now let’s get started”, said Anna. She and Sergio were halfway through the door exiting Lou’s office when I said, “Hey, wait a damned minute!!! What are you talking about?!?”

They both stopped, and Anna walked back in and looked me in the eyes, saying “The plan, Rod. Let’s get on with the plan.” A little embarrassed, I sheepishly asked, “What plan?” Anna folded her arms and looked cross at me. After a moment to allow me to simmer in my shame, she asked, “You were not paying attention, were you, Rod?” I shook my head and looked down.

I heard a hammer cock. I jerked my head back up to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol pointed at my head that Anna was holding. I protested, “Look, it is not my fucking fault!! Put that fucking gun down!!!” I continued, “You were distracting me with …. Well.. you know, how you are dressed, and that hot, sultry voice…. You know?”

“So, instead of paying attention to the plan, you chose to eye-rape me. Is that what I am to understand your position is, Rod?”, she asked. Knowing that my life was on the line, I said, “Anna, look, you know I am horny to a fault. Then you come in here, swinging them tits around, wearing that silk dress showing off the crack of your ass…. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPENED?”

Anna lowered her gun. She knew that my explanation of being a total cocksman was truth. “Let’s go”, Anna curtly said. I obeyed.

Anna explained the plan to me again on the drive from The Plump Rump. She made me wear a blindfold so that I would not get horny during her explanation. Here is how it went:

Anna Conda was now working for the Russians. It seems that Putin caught wind of the Sasquatch project that the Chinese were working on. He also knew that the American government have been fucking with sasquatch for decades. Thus, he was very concerned about the existence of a bigfoot gap. He ordered the acquisition of a Sasquatch specimen immediately.

Moreover, said specimen must be prime. It needed to be the biggest, baddest sasquatch of them all – a true alpha – so as to speed things along. Putin did not want some weird shit-creature, is-it-a-sasquatch-or-is-it-a-dogman, kind of monstrosity. He wanted purebred, badass sasquatchery, and preferably from the American Pacific northwest.

Anna got in on it because she sold the intel to Putin about China’s Sasquatch operation. She then told Putin she could produce sasquatch corpses for him. She told him she had a contact (i.e., me). Thus, with Putin’s blessing and promises of riches to come, Anna set out to America to find me.

Now, here is where things got a bit squirrely. See, I agreed to procure some more dead sasquatch. I have no problem with killing sasquatch because, in my opinion, they are an abomination on this Earth. I kind of feel like I am doing God’s work by wiping out as many of them as I can. And given all the not-so-Godly stuff I have done, I feel like killing Sasquatch kind of offsets that to some degree.

But Anna, she was stuck on Putin’s instruction that she must supply him with apex Sasquatch. So she did not want to take my advice of heading to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska. Instead, Anna claimed to have pinpointed the whereabouts of a particularly gruesome sasquatch beast that she KNEW would win her a fortune from Putin if she brought it to him.

“So, where is this beast?”, I asked. Anna replied “Martha’s Vineyard”. I paused. Then I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out that I was not mistaken about what Anna had said. I continued, “Uh, Anna, there are no sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard, just a lot of wealth New Englander schmucks.”

Anna looked at me and told me I was wrong. Then she decided to attempt to taunt me. “Oh, Rod, mighty slayer of Bigfoot! Yet, you fail to take notice of where the biggest, most foul and rotten beast of them all makes its home. Jesus, Rod!! What kind of bigfoot hunter are you, anyway?” Anna then spit at my feet and wondered aloud whether she even needs me for this job.

I decided that I needed to straighten out the hierarchy here in order for this here deal to move forward. I said, “Well, Anna, feel free to truck on over to Old Whitey Beach and battle that beast. But, if there is a big old mangy sasquatch lurking around over there, then it is probably a fucking Nazi-Squatch. You know, those fuckers out there hate the Jews.”

The work “Nazi” visibly shook Anna. Her great grandfather died defending Leningrad. Her entire family there died of either starvation or cannibalism during Hitler’s siege during Operation Barbarossa. Anna despised Nazis. But she feared them too. After landing that punch, I decided to push my luck.

“Now, I am still willing to help you catch this here Nazi-Squatch, but you have to do something for me”, I said. Now Anna’s eyes were on me, and they were narrowing. I continued, “I want you to get bare assed naked and pleasure yourself while I stand over you and jack it.” Anna stared at me silently for a long moment. Then she replied.

“After the job is done, and you can get none of your … fluids… on me”, she said. I shook my head and countered, “Now, and I will ‘try’ to not get my spunk on you.”

However, Anna then turned the tables on me. In fact, she picked up the table and bashed my head in with it. She looked me in my eyes, then matter-of-factly said, “You get the beast, and your prize shall be a night with me, anything goes, darling.” Well, since this caused all of the blood to immediately drain from my brain, I had a lapse in judgment. “DEAL!!”, I said. Then we shook on it.

“OK, tell me more about this supposed monster sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard”, I said. I still was not ready to believe there was a monster out there. “I show you photo”, said Anna. She took out her phone, scrolled to find the photo, then handed the phone to me. “There. Sasquatch”, she said.

I stared at the photo and remained silent. After a long moment, I turned the phone so that Anna could see the photo and asked, “Uh, Anna, is THIS what you intended to show me?” She replied. “Yes! There…Sasquatch! The biggest, grossest monster around.”

Now, I could not argue with Anna that the image on her phone is a big, gross monster. Hell, it could actually be a sasquatch, and THE UBER sasquatch. It is most certainly the grossest thing on Martha’s Vinyard. But I somehow do not think this is what Putin is expecting.

I turned to Anna and said, “Anna, this is a photo of Michelle Obama. I know it looks vile, and has a huge, hulking body with large appendages where a woman should not have them. But, sweatheart, that ain’t no sasquatch. That’s a big, hairy Chicago street negro.”

Anna did not believe me at first. She was hard in her conviction that Obama was a sasquatch. “I have seen the Sasquatch beast you deliver to me for China. This … Michelle Obama …. It is big, and hairy, and ugly like the sasquatch beast, but worse.”

When the truth finally set it, I could see that it had kind of broken down poor Anna, if only just a bit. I put my arm around Anna and told her, “Look, Michelle O fooled you. Hell, she and her Hamas Hubby fooled millions of Americans, twice! At least you saw Michelle for what she is, to wit: a big, gross sasquatch, and NOT some kind a retarded leftist messiah.”

After that, things took a rather dark turn. “What if we still take her to Putin? We can make deal; sell her to Putin!!” At this point I held up my hands and said, “I’m out”, then turned and walked away. Anna followed, trying to get me to stay. At this point, I could tell that Anna was coming undone a little.

See, she had to produce for Putin. There is no telling what kind of secret deal she actually had with him. She had to deliver a big old mangy Obama …. Er, uh, I mean … Sasquatch, to Putin.

“Ok, Rod, we do your plan. We go out west to kill bigfoot. Huge, monster bigfoot. she said. I turned and looked Anna in her eyes and said the following: First, we bang for 48 hours straight, right now, so I can get my fill of you. Second, you pay me $10,000.00 cash upfront. Third, upon delivery of the dead bigfoot, you pay me $1 million immediately.”

Anna agreed to everything, but noted that at the present time it was her “time of the month”. I grimaced, as I will absolutely not go there (and she knows that). “Fine, next week we bang”, I said. She pointed out that I would be in the woods next week hunting sasquatch. “Fine, once I come out of the woods, then we bang – 48 hours straight”, I said. “Of course, darling!”, she agreed.

Well, it took several days to set up the hunt, but it finally happened. I was in Washington state at high elevation based on intel I has acquired that indicated that there was a monstrous 15’ tall sasquatch on the mountain range that had been murdering and eating hunters and hikers. After 3 months in these mountains without a trace of the creature I began to lose hope, thinking that I probably got some bad intel, or bad coordinates.

I got my satellite phone out to call for an extraction. Winter was setting in fast, and if I did not get off this mountain soon, then I would freeze and/or starve to death. Unfortunately, my contact did not answer. I tried for 2 days. No answer. I had been fucked. I wondered what had happened back in civilization that caused me to be abandoned like this. I resolved that I would get off that mountain and get to the bottom of this shit. There would be hell to pay for this betrayal!!’

I was able to get in touch with contacts from back home. I got old Billy Ray from Ellijay and Rattler on the phone and got them to come out here to Washington State to extract me. Rattler use to fly helicopters in the Army. He has an old Huey sitting in his front yard, to the chagrin of his HOA. He fired that sucker up, and him and old Billy Ray flew out here to my coordinates and extracted me.

After landing at a convenience store to buy some beer for the flight home, we headed east. Through the skies a way, Billy Ray said, “Well, Rod, I guess you is bout ready to git back home to Georgia, eh?” In fact, I was ready to go home. But I had to take care of some business first. I told them both to take me to New York City. They were both perplexed. All I said to them was “I have an old friend there I have to see before I can go home.”

I have intel on where Anna Conda stays when she is in the United States. She stays at certain hotels depending on what month she is here, and whether her check-in date is an odd or even number. This is for undercover work. I came across the code for her stays while doing the sasquatch work for China. She an I were caught in a snowstorm one night in Buffalo, NY, and had to share a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport. We had like 10 big Igloo ice chests with iced down sasquatch body parts with us in the room.

Anna was like, “No hanky panky, Rod. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Tomorrow we finish business.”

Frankly, I did not blame her for withholding her magnificent muff from me. I was tired as hell. But, I could not settle for nothing. So, when Anna was in the bathroom taking a shower, I started going through her suit case. I wanted to find some of her panties to jack off into. Instead, I found a little black notebook. Inside it contained her lodging codes, and some other interesting things. I photographed the contents with my phone and then put it back.

When Anna got out of the shower she was already dressed in her night clothes. She saw me lying on my back, nude on the bed, and jacking it. “Rod!! GROSS!!!! Go to the restroom to do that shit!!!”, she commanded. I just did it to get a rise out of her. LOL!!

So, if Anna is still inside the U.S., then using the codes I stole from her I can locate precisely where she will be that night. I studied it for a few moments then had my answer. Tonight she would be staying at the Dogman Inn on Hwy 95 South, Room 355. I told Rattler to get me there stat!

We had to stop several times for fuel and beer. Those Hueys go just a bit over a hundred MPH, you know. But eventually, we got there. I gave the boys some money and told them to go to the Waffle House for some coffee to sober up. Then they would fly me home.

I should mention that I also had Rattler’s fully auto Russian AK-74 with spare mags. During the long flight with 2 drunks from Washington State to New York City, I had worked myself up into a towering rage over how Anna fucked me on this Putin deal. She had clearly thrown me aside. But for what, exactly? I figured I would storm the hotel room, get some answers, then shower the room with gun fire.

I busted through the door of Room 355 at exactly 3:35 a.m. There she was. My entry roused her from slumber. I was pointing my rifle at her, center mass. She was shocked at the appearance of a gunman in her room at this time of night. However, she was not as shocked as one would think (this was not the first time something like this has happened to her).

I raised my face from the receiver just enough so she could see it was me. “Rod!!!”, she exclaimed. “What happened to you?!?!? I thought you had died up in those mountains when we never hear from you!” I replied, “Shove it up that cute little ass of yours, Anna. You fucked me. And not in the good way. What the fuck was all that shit about needing a sasquatch for Putin?!?”

Anna played dumb. But it struck me that I had been deliberately put out of the loop for 3 months. Why? Who wanted me away for that long, and why? What went on in my absence?!? I was just dying to know!!! I set my rifle down and pulled out my fixed blade knife, ready to get down to some real nasty work on Anna so I could get some truth. The pure evil of what I was about to do to her caused a wide death grin to grow on my face. Anna saw it. She knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and her eyes betrayed the shear terror she felt inside. I was engorged with blood lust. She knew she had fucked up one time too many this time!!

Suddenly came the sound of the toilet in the bathroom flushing. I was momentarily shocked. I did not expect anyone else to be there with Anna. Anna saw it in my face. I glanced at her and saw that the terror in her face was replaced with pleasure, a slight smile creeping over her face.

I was going to have to face off against this person in the bathroom, who would be out in a split moment. When I do that, I will have to turn 180 degrees from Anna, thereby making me vulnerable to her. I had only once choice: Shoot Anna first.

Just as this came to me, but just before I could act on it, the bathroom door opened. I had to deal with that person before Anna now. I spun around to see that it was a completely nude, and fat, white man. He was a real oafish blob. He looked surprised to see me. He also looked sort of familiar.

I next heard the crack of something hitting my skull hard. I remember the immediate hateful pain that shot through my body and the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I remember the dizziness, then falling to the floor. Clearly, as I fixed on the man from the bathroom, Anna had cracked me over the head with a blunt object.

I came to the next morning, Billy Ray and Rattler had manage to track me down based upon coordinates I left in the chopper that said “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. Billy Ray filled up the hotel room ice bucket with cold water and doused my head with it to bring me conscious. I was disoriented at first. But after a bit, what happened in this room the night before came back to me.

Honestly, I am surprised that Anna did not just kill me. I presume that she thinks she can leverage her drop-dead hotness to get me to do more shit for her in the future. She is absolutely right about that too. Rattler then said, “Hey, Rod, that snake bitch left a letter fer ya.”

He handed me the letter. This is what it said:
____________________________________________

“Dear Rod:

Sorry about the boo boo on your head. Hope it heals soon. Also sorry about leaving you in the mountains. I was not running a scam on you Rod. Rather, an opportunity arose for me to acquire a sasquatch body from another person. You may know him since you are a sasquatch hunter. His name is Matt Moneymaker. Anyway, until next time…..

Yours truly,
Anna Conda”
_____________________________________________
I could not fucking believe it. That was fatfuck Moneymaker in the hotel room earlier. Anna fucked Matt Fatfuck Moneymaker for a Sasquatch! That fat son of bitch!!

Billy Ray asked, “You ready to go Rod?” I stood up and said, “Yeah, let’s go.” Then Rattler said, “Hey, ya wanna stop and git some beer fer the ride home?” I replied “Hell yeah.”

I felt like I wanted to die. Thank God for beer and buddies. I don’t blame Anna. She is a fucking snake, and I knew that before this started. Also, I cannot really blame fatfuck Moneymaker for wanting to get some of that hot poon pie Anna serves up. I guess I have to blame fate for fucking me over this time. I even started thinking that next time I will just avoid Anna. But I know I won’t, thus making me subject to this sort of shit again. I had Rattler set us down in Charlottesville so I could buy some hard liquor.

Want: New LCRears for 5.1 set up in space 1 for higher volume and more immersive movie experience.
Could be convinced that I'm not focusing on the right things, but I will only be in this house a few more years and can't justify building a proper dedicated room in the basement (and tend to prefer OLED>atmos+larger screen).

• I pull a very shakeable seating arrangement to within 7' of 83" screen/front soundstage and even move the back soundstage to the sides of this new seat for movie watching in Space 1
• I don't mind cannibalizing basement components (say if the Fluance SX6 would act nicely as rears for a new and higher-end LCR that can be upgraded later, for example)
• Can't swap receivers and purchasing a new one (atmos+HDMI 2.1) would eat heavily into budget.

Budget: ~$1,000 (just spent $1600 on PB-3000 but am still in return window -- downsizing would be very difficult to justify as I looove my low-end and am afraid of 'settling' with something smaller that I eventually build onto with my next house)
I'm considering https://www.fluance.com/signature-series-hi-fi-three-way-floorstanding-speakers along with the signature series bookshelves and center. I'm basing this solely off of a) how much I like Fluance back in 2015 and b) the price seems just right for my budget (a little over, but my bias for Fluance makes it ok) and nothing else.
That being said, if performance isn't hugely different I could use my sx6's and fluance center upstairs and forego the signature bookshelves/center if they aren't much different than the signature series (in which case I would move the whole pioneer set to the basement).

	Space 1 (Living Room)	Space 2 (Basement)
Description	20x12x(8-11' arched ceiling) - directly connected to a 6 ft opening to an equivalent room to the left and directly open to a 15x20' space which is the kitchen/dining area	15x13x7 Dedicated space open to rest of basement (additional 7' back to wall and the rest of the basement is approximately additional 23x15) -- total cubic volume is approx. 8820cf
Quick Notes	Gets vast majority of usage due to convenience. I also prefer OLED quality over size of projector	Prioritizing this over space 1 would require a pretty mind-blowing setup -- moreso than my budget would likely allow
Approx. Space Volume	~12,250 cf	~8,820+ cf
Usage	50/50 Gaming/Movies (95% overall)	100% movies (5% overall)
Screen	83" LG C1	133" BenQ HT3550
Receiver	5.1 Denon 660h (HDMI 2.1 required for upstairs, no atmos on this receiver))	5.1.2 Denon 740h
LCR	Pioneer SP-FS52 (LR), SP C22 (c)	Fluance SX6 (LR), XL7C-DW (C)
Rears	Pioneer SP-BS22A-LR	Fluance AVBP2 Bipolar
Heights	-	Micca Reference R8C
Subwoofer	PB 3000 (New and in return window) (replaced busted PB 1000 which moved to space 2)	PB 1000 (busted woofer but met most needs in space 1 for two years), replacing 2x Dayton SUB1000

Any existing stuff I don't use here can go in my office to replace my sub-$200 total investment in sound :D
Thoughts?

Am getting into crochet and love the community here.
Please share your favorite hooks you use (my cheapos are a total bust) and your very favorite patterns or creations!

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1akrt76/my_friends_and_i_went_on_a_hike_to_watch_a_total/
It was August 21st, 2017, and the future was...
...Dark. Literally dark.
That day, the first total solar eclipse visible from anywhere in the mainland United States since February, 1979, which some media outlets were calling “The Great American Eclipse,” was due to cast its shadow over America.
And it just so happened, that my city, and the surrounding area, would be in the path of totality that afternoon, putting us in its umbra - its darkest shadow, and allowing us to witness the moon completely block the sun and reveal its corona.
"You packed light." My best friend Josh pointed out to me that morning, gesturing to my obviously lightly packed backpack, as we walked from the parking lot to the trail.
"Don't these things only last a few minutes?" I replied, having only barely researched the lunar event.
But why should I have? After all, it had been Josh's brilliant idea, to propose to his girlfriend, Allison, during the total eclipse, and bring me along for the ride to take photographs, aka third wheel.
As a city guy, I never had any desire to go hiking in the wilderness, and had been dreading the trip ever since he told me about it. But Josh had been my best friend since elementary school, and had done more than enough favors for me over the years. So, I just swallowed my pride and went along with it.
"They're saying about two and half minutes from where we are, specifically." Allison corrected.
She's always been the best kind of nerd. I thought to myself, enviously.
But I tried not to make eye contact with her. There was too much history there, too many emotions. And on top of all that, she and Josh were about to get engaged.
"Got it." I replied, staring down at my feet, as I trudged along the rocky path, my boots crunching into the ground with every step.
What were you thinking? Agreeing to this? I internally kicked myself, immediately regretting the decision.
"You okay?" Josh asked. "You were pretty quiet in the car."
"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks."
I was not okay. But what was I supposed to say? "I'm still in love with your future wife?"
Let's take these photos and get the fuck out of here. I thought to myself, before sneaking a few shots of Josh and Allison holding hands, as they walked ahead of me, careful to not make Allison suspicious, and while also throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
—
But when we finally made it to the summit of the hill, where Josh had chosen to host the two-pronged occasion, I was pleasantly surprised to discover, that I was not third wheeling after all.
There, sitting side by side in beach chairs, each with a beer in hand, were Bob and Cara, a married couple that Josh and I had befriended at a bar one night a couple months prior, and, in a very short amount of time, had completely infiltrated our friend group.
"There they are!" Bob called out.
"Eclipse party!" Cara yelled out even louder.
"At least I have other people to talk to." I mumbled to myself, before turning to Josh and asking, "You didn't tell me Bob and Cara were joining?"
"Thought I'd surprise you." He said, with a cheeky smile.
"Theme of the day." I replied sarcastically, before immediately heading for the cooler, opening it, and reaching into its deepest depths, for the coldest beer I could possibly find.
But after I removed a bottle, and opened it with my keychain, I looked down, and happened to notice, that my finger was bleeding.
I didn't think much of it, so I just held up my bloody finger to the group. "Hey, anybody got a bandage?"
"Already?" Josh teased, shaking his head, "We can't take you anywhere."
"Take him anywhere?" Allison chimed in, "I blame Bob and Cara. What kind of weapons are you keeping down there, at the bottom of your cooler?"
The married couple simply sat there in silence for a moment, before turning to each other, then back at us, and bursting out laughing.
"Got us!" Cara said.
"Busted!" Bob added, before Josh tossed me the first aid kit and pivoted the conversation.
"Speaking of Bob and Cara. I just want to shout them out, for coming up with the eclipse party idea in the first place."
Everyone raised their beers, and cheered, as I wrapped a bandage around my finger.
Fucking Bob and Cara. I thought to myself, as I faked a smile and raised my bottle.
—
A few hours, and a lot of beers later, we were all sitting at the top of the hill, doing as friends do, and bantering about absolutely nothing of actual significance, when Bob looked down at his watch, and made an announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived!" He declared, slurring his words a bit.
"Everyone, get your sunglasses!" Cara added, as she stumbled over to her backpack, and removed five pairs of cardboard sunglasses, specifically made for looking at eclipses, or so they claimed in the ads.
We all put them on...
...And looked up at the sky...
...But nothing happened.
Then, Josh lowered his sunglasses and started winking profusely at me.
"Oh, right!" I said, before reaching for my camera and pointing it at Josh, just in time to catch him getting down on one knee, removing a ring from his pocket, and holding it out to Allison.
At first, she was completely confused, and looked around at everyone, as if to ask, "What's going on?"
But then Josh uttered the words, "Allison, you're the love of my life... The apple of my eye... The moon to my sun."
Allison, Bob, and Cara all chuckled at the timeliness of the joke a bit, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at it. I just stood there, hiding behind my camera, snapping photos, hoping it would end quickly.
Just get it over with already.
"Will you marry me?" Josh asked, to a dramatic pause, before Allison finally replied.
"Oh my! Yes! Of course I will!"
And like that, Josh placed the ring on her finger, hopped up, and the two kissed, still wearing their sunglasses, just as the moon began to eclipse the sun.
I snapped one last photo, which I'll admit, was pretty beautiful, before I couldn't bear to take it anymore, and had to put my camera down.
And that's when, things got...
...Weird.
As the moon continued to pass in front of the sun, the sky grew darker and darker, and, in combination with the eclipse sunglasses that I was still wearing, caused me to lose visibility.
Suddenly, I felt what I assumed was a raindrop...
...Before realizing that rain would have been impossible, given the clear visibility of the eclipse that day.
I removed my sunglasses, and whipped around, to see what the droplet could possibly have been, only to witness a gruesome sight...
...Bob, dimly lit, being hacked away at, by a shadowy figure holding a strange object...
...Blood spraying everywhere.
That's not rain.
It must have happened so fast, that Bob never even had a chance to scream.
But Cara, on the other hand, had a chance.
She immediately began wailing and crying at the top of her lungs, so loud that Josh and Allison were jarred out of their loving embrace, and began calling out to her.
"Cara?" Josh yelled out.
"What's wrong?" Allison added.
But then...
...Cara went silent.
I tried to will myself to warn Josh and Allison, to shout out, "Run!" but I was so paralyzed with fear, that I couldn't bring myself to utter the word.
So, I just followed my own advice, and darted away as fast as I could, knowing that whoever had just killed Bob, and seemingly now Cara, was close by.
But before I could get far, I heard what sounded like Josh grappling with the shadowy figure, and immediately stopped in my tracks.
I turned around, and tried to make out what was happening, against the sky, but it was still pretty dark, and the only thing I could see, was the glowing corona of the sun encircling the moon, the total eclipse now at its peak.
"Get away from her!" Josh cried out, before I saw what looked like him charge at the man.
But something must have gone terribly wrong, as the next, and last word, I ever heard out of Josh's mouth, was "No!"
As the moon began to move out of the total eclipse, and pass by the sun, enough light began to pour in, that I was able to see my best friend's body tumble to the ground.
And then...
...Silence...
...Until I heard Allison begin to scream.
"Help! Help!"
Now able to see her, dimly lit, and cowering in fear on the ground a few feet away from me, I jumped in front of her.
For a brief moment, we locked eyes, in what felt like four parts horror, one part longing, before we both looked back and saw, now fully illuminated....
...The slayer that had just wreaked havoc on our party, his face and body, covered in blood, his hands gripping what I now saw... was a scythe.
A fucking scythe!?
He slowly began to approach us, weapon in hand...
...Until he got a few feet away...
...And suddenly stopped, to look up at the moon...
...But it was gone.
In the moment that followed, he appeared to process what that meant, and what to do next, before...
...He simply turned around and walked away.
Allison and I sat there on the ground, shaking violently, as we clung to each other, paralyzed with fear, and watched him drift away into the distance...
...Until he was gone.
When we eventually conjured enough energy to stand up, we hobbled back to the parking lot, and drove Josh's car, to the closest police station we could find, remaining silent almost the entire time.
And after finally arrived at the precinct, it took us a good while to bring ourselves to speak, and describe to the authorities, the atrocities that had occurred in the shadow of the eclipse that day.
The cops immediately raced to the trail, and recovered the bodies of Bob, Cara, and Josh, but the man with the scythe...
...The eclipse killer, as the detectives joked...
...Was never found, left to roam the world and live amongst us, likely waiting to strike when the next eclipse arrives.
And as for Allison and I... while the events of that day could just as well have bonded us, or been taken as a sign that we were meant to be together, we never talked about it again, and slowly drifted away...
...Just as the moon had drifted away from the sun on the afternoon of August 21st, 2017.
Still to this day, whenever I hear that an eclipse of any sort is coming, I think back to that hike, and worry for those who dare to venture out of their homes to observe it.
While, I, however... stay the fuck inside.

Hi reddit, I'm a '25/M' and my fiance '24/F are at an end of our 4 year relationship, its not been official yet but its here. Honestly not sure how to even write this since my brain is scrambled.
My fiance and I have known each other for a total of eight years, first four years I was dating someone else and had a kid with them, that relationship ended when ex abused my 3 year old son so I got custody and a restraining order against her and its been peace without her
During that time my fiance was there supporting me, or so I thought she was. Looking back now everything I thought she was "supportive on" was more of controlling and I wish I saw it first before even continuing.
2021 I asked my fiance to move in with me, before we got to that point shes spent time with me and my son, she adored him and helped me with him a lot prior to moving in so my son was already fond of her, so it wasn't all at once. The first year she moved in she got a job, spent time as a family and went for family outings. We were broke as hell living off of food stamps, section 8, and going to food pantries. I've spent many days and nights going hungry just to make sure my son and her had something to eat because growing up thats how I was raised and was told a man and father provides even if its at their own sacrifice.
Everything was picture perfect, we didn't argue, we didn't let the lack of money get to us and we were there for my son. I got a good job, went back to college and did online courses so I can save money and still spend time as a family. After the one year, it started going down hill.
She quit her job, started slacking on being the mother portion, she slept in more. She was showing signs of depression and I spoke with her on it and was supportive as much as I could be and talked to her. She was never able to tell me why she was depressed. She isolated herself, after months of this basically just existing with my son and I she started making it seem like it was a chore to even be around my son. The days my son was in preschool or daycare she was up and about full of energy and wanting my attention all the time, the days my son was home all day or toward the evening when he would come home all of a sudden the energy was gone, she was "tired, not feeling good, or period pains." In the beggining I believed her, then I noticed the pattern.
While she was out of work I was still in college, working and doing everything around the house and taking care of my son. Honestly felt like I was doing everything alone because I was basically was, cleaning up after her and struggling with everything else. It got to the point I flunked out of college due to the stress and workload and she seemed happy about it which pissed me off.
After some time things would be fine then she would go back to her routine. It got to the point I was struggling with bills and I told her she needs to either start working or helping me around the apartment because I shouldn't have to do everything myself if she's there. I never demanded anything of her until that moment, she started helping then a month goes by she gets a job. I got her hired at the place I was working at since I was the manager and the owner and I were really close.... I wish I never did.
Fast forward another year 2023. She quit her job and was talking shit behind my back to the owner and it got to the point the owner thought I was stealing and he confronted me about it. I listened to him and his concerns and proved I wasnt stealing from him and after everything I've done for his store (the store was locally owned, non corporate and he needed help badly. I have business experience and money managment from previous jobs and college. He went from bankruptcy to staying afloat) but due to what she was saying he grew distant and started making my life hell. It got to the point he asked me to leave because he couldnt trust me anymore and he didnt know who to believe. I understood, though I didn't agree but left anyway.
After I lost my job she told me she was going to visit her mom in another state to see her little brother (her brothers and I are very close and the youngest joined the marines, he was doing his graduation from basic) she wanted to go and I was trying to figure out how to pay for the tickets for her to fly out there so she could, I mean that was her brother and a major accomplishment for him, I was proud and wanted to be there for his new journey.
She told me her mom was going to fly her out there and it'd be a few days and said she was going to be the only one going. I understood (her mother didn't really care about me. Think of high-class, cheerleader captain who never grew up)
So she got the dates and it went from a few days to two weeks. I didnt find out until she got there. During the time she was there she didn't really talk to me and on the 3rd day she said her mom left her at the house and drove the 2 hours to go see her brother graduate (any other situation I'd call total BS but her mom is like that) so for the remainder of the time she was there she said her other brother was going to stay with her and keep her company. We didn't talk much and I honestly suspected cheating, but I never asked because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt since I trusted her.
When she got back I spoke with the hiring manager at the gas station up the road from the apartment and helped her get hired, she worked there for a month, before the hiring manager told me she was fired. (Before anyone asks I had a good reputation with the people in my town.)
Now to speed things up to current, my landlord terminated my lease, nothing bad it was because I was there for the time section 8 alotted, I lost track of the time frame and was panicking because I didn't have another place lined up and since I was the only one working I didn't have money to get a new place. I reached out to my mother and asked for a place to stay and she welcomed all of us with open arms. That was in November of last year.
The fiance didn't want to go and refused to move in with my mom, I understood but explained we had nowhere else to go and it was better than in the street, she didn't help me pack or anything really, just compained that I was packing and moving everything.
When we did finally move in she isolated herself, gave up on working, gave up on spending time with my son and grew aggressive anytime I asked her to watch my son. Also during the "adult times" at night she'd try and get me to finish inside her even when I refused (no BC and I didn't want to risk having another kid when I'm not even financially stable)
A few nights ago my mom found a notebook that had what fiance wrote down in it and she gave it to me saying I should read it. I did, and what was written was how she actually felt about me and the situation. I confronted her about it calmly and just wanted an explanation. She couldnt give me one. My mom was more livid about it than I was and said she didnt want fiance in the house anymore, I understood. I tried smoothing it over and explained to my mom that it was just her writing about how she felt and coping with shit.
My mom allowed fiance a chance to apologize and I even told fiance about the chance. She refused to apologize and said her friend would be coming to get her Tuesday.
I tried talking to fiance last night and ask her why she couldn't apologize even if she didn't mean it. She said she can't and she refuses. I explained that if the situation was flipped and it was where we were at her moms and it was her kid and not mine, I would have apologized because it would have meant I could stay and be with the people I love and not leave. Also reminded her of the abandonedment issues my son already has.
She showed no remorse, which I semi understand, I told her that when she leaves don't expect me to allow her to see my son, because what she did told me and my son to go fuck ourselves. It was at that moment I noticed she was trying to talk about how she would send me money so we can start saving and I took that as an insult since I was the only one saving money and busting my ass off, while she wasn't working or looking for work.
I then asked her if she even wanted to be here and she said she did, she also mentioned that before moving into my moms house she reached out to her friend to move in with her but her friend couldn't take her because of something. I asked her if her friend was able to take her in at that time if she would have taken it, she didn't respond. During this whole conversation she wasn't crying, tearing up, or showing signs of remorse or being upset. I took her silence as the answer.
Today, its almost 10am shes still asleep and I've been working with my son on his school stuff and playing with his trains (HUGE TRAIN ENTHUSIAST) I'm not sure what to say to her when she gets up or if I should say anything. My mom asked me how I was doing because I really did love fiance and spent so much time trying to make it work. But if you've been in a relationship and that sinking feeling in your gut tells you its over, it usually is and that's where I'm at. Not sure what to do or if I should do anything, I'm hurt but numb and still processing.
TL:DR Fiance of 4 years wrote how she truley felt about me, my son and my mother. mother found out and after smoothing things over mother asked for an apology and fiance refused and chose to move out. Not sure how to handle it.

The logo's 'D' transitioned the scene back to the studio, the shot showing all the former cast members on stage – the six losers on the right, the three guests on the left, and the two hosts in the center.
"Welcome back to the Aftermath show!" Damien said happily to the audience as they gave their applause. "We're currently talking with Izzy about herself and her time on the show!" The crowd cheered.
"Now it's time for Izzy to play Truth or Hammer!" Priya announced and turned to the quirky guest. "Season two started off so well for you. Where did things go wrong?"
“I think it was when I turned down that secret alliance with Chef,” Izzy dropped, causing everyone to gasp.
Damien looked up at the hammer and saw that it didn't lower down at all. “Chef actually tried to form a secret alliance with you?”
“Uh-huh. He said he'd help me win this thing if I shared the money with him,” Izzy answered.
“Whoa,” Geoff spoke out in surprise.
“Totally did not expect that,” Eva added.
Damien then heard something in his earpiece. “Hey, I think we've got a never-before-seen clip!” he mentioned as the camera panned up to the television.
After the static played out, the footage featured Chef and Izzy standing next to a trailer on the film lot. “I'll help you man up and win this thing. We split the prize money fifty-fifty,” Chef negotiated.
Chef held out his hand for a handshake, prompting Izzy to karate kick him out of view as an intern holding a clipboard watched from the background.
“Oh, I don't think so!” Izzy declined the offer, the intern becoming scared as the clip ended.
The shot focused on the hosts shocked by what they saw. “Wow!” Priya said.
“I can't believe Chef did that!” Damien commented.
“The impact was big though!” Priya mentioned as the part of Izzy kicking Chef in the chest was zoomed in and a circle was drawn around Izzy's foot. “Check that out!”
The clip now moved in slow motion as Chef flew away while Izzy bounced away from her impact, causing the camera to focus on the scared-looking intern.
“I'd advise that intern to run away!” Damien said while the intern's head was circled on, earning laughter from the audience.
“I would never hurt that intern,” Izzy claimed, and she back flipped in order to avoid the swinging hammer. “Whoa! Nearly got me that time.” The next shot showed the same intern watching from afar dropping his clipboard and running away due to what Izzy said.
“So then what happened after?” Priya asked Izzy.
“My guess is Chef went and made a demon deal with Brick,” Izzy theorized. “Yeah, I think Chef threw the acting challenge with Justin so Brick's team won and I lost. But, hey, what do I know?”
"Apparently, a lot," Priya remarked.
"How about we hear from another viewer now?" Damien looked down at the display in front of him. "Gluepunks350 asks, "Do you think Brick will get busted?"”
“Well, I don't know about Brick, but I busted my arm once. Yeah, look, now I'm double jointed.” Izzy bent her left arm backwards. “I'm doing it! Backwards!”
Damien felt weirded out. "I think we should move on to our next guest."
"Correct," Priya nodded as the camera panned back up to the hanging television. "Trent being here is quite surprising," she said as footage began to play of Trent talking to Geoff about the latter's tooth and him talking about the sleeping arrangements. "He is a Season 1 fan favorite after all."
"I agree with that," Damien said as the footage moved on to the guitarist offering Sky his toast. "Although he did start to slip up around episode two after seeing Sky and Chase become friends," he continued over Sky picking Chase for her team and Trent looking shocked.
"Not wanting to lose his girlfriend and the game, Trent tried depending on luck, and when that didn't work, he opted to throw the challenges in order to let Sky win thanks to Justin's advice on making her happy," Priya said over Trent attempting to put nine flags on his team's sandcastle, and then purposely tripping over a stick and being talked to by Justin.
“Luckily, Sky was not blind to Trent's subtle attempts to lose deliberately,” Damien spoke as the footage showed Sky getting annoyed over Trent's compliments and him throwing the rope to the ground and then the two of them talking to each other after bathing in a barrel, “and after a much needed talk, the two were able to resolve their problems.”
"Despite all this, Justin was able to gather enough votes to target Trent, and in the end, Trent's time on the show was over!" Priya finished, the clips of Justin talking to the girls about Trent's actions and the guitarist walking into the limo being played.
"Our next guest took down a serial killer and once got poisoned by a blowfish,” Damien recapped. “Please welcome Trent!"
The Aftermath theme played and applause issued from the audience as Trent walked onstage with a smile and his guitar in hand.
“We're live on the TDA Aftermath with Trent, everyone!” Priya announced while Trent waved for the camera and sat down next to Izzy.
“So what happened, Trent?” Damien got the interview started.
“At the start of the season, things were going great until Sky and I were split on different teams,” Trent delved in. “Then she and Chase started hanging out.”
“Jealousy can be quite common,” Topher muttered.
“True,” Sam agreed.
“Then the competition set in,” Trent resumed.
“We know there's something else,” Damien reminded.
“You mean, how stressful things got?” Trent answered.
“Yeah, and no. It mostly applies to you,” Priya stated. “Be careful how you answer this, because a humongous hammer can come down and knock you out of that couch!”
The musician was intrigued by this news before continuing. “Uh, I guess somewhere I decided Sky was more important than the money,” Trent said, and the hammer not coming down proved his honesty.
“I'm surprised you're being really cool with losing out on a million dollars,” Priya said.
“It's Trent. What else did you expect?” Damien told his girlfriend.
“I guess I just lost my game,” Trent sighed. “Really let my team down. Sorry, Grips,” he apologized to the camera, making the audience aww.
“I have to ask you about the number nine thing. Check it out,” Damien pointed up at the television, which was in static before fading to the clips.
“That's right. Nine turrets, nine doors,” Trent instructed as Brick and Jasmine poured more sand.
“Remember, nine of everything!” Trent added in, much to his teammates’ bother.
Sky's attention was caught by the number of sticks he carried. "Not to interrupt," she started to say, "but you're carrying nine sticks."
The focus was now back on Trent. “Dudes, there's a lot more to my number than it being luck!” he protested.
“You did depend on it for challenges because you wanted to win,” Gwen brought up.
“The number nine thing has nothing to do with Sky or the competition,” Trent debunked. “I had this toy train my granddad gave me as a kid. Right before he died. One of the wheels fell off, so there were only nine. I was devastated. So my mom told me nine was now my lucky number.”
After Trent finished his story, the camera showed shots of the hosts, the other guests, and the Peanut Gallery all reacting with sadness.
“Have you ever told Sky about this?” Katie asked.
“She is still your girlfriend,” Sadie pointed out.
“I haven't had time to, but I'll make good on my word,” Trent promised, and the audience applauded for him.
“We've got a lot of emails here,” Priya checked the display. “Snowgirl writes, "Trent, what kind of girl are you not into?"”
“Simple. They'd either have to be stalkers or the kind of girls that'd do anything to humiliate people for no reason,” Trent claimed.
"How about we check in on our web cams?" Damien suggested, leaning over to check the display in front of him. "We've got Ginger from Sudbury," he said before the camera pulled out enough to show the monitor, which flashed from static to a feed of a geeky young white girl with large glasses and her red hair in pigtails. "Hey Ginger!" Damien greeted as the young girl waved.
"Trent, I'd love it if you went psycho crazy over me!" the girl squealed.
“Side note, you've been getting a lot of admirers ever since you got eliminated,” Damien told Trent.
"Uh, yeah," Trent said uneasily.
"Thanks, Ginger," Priya said as Ginger waved once more and her feed cut to static. "We also have Steve," she looked at her display, "the...Yeti? From Vancouver!"
The static on the monitor cut away to show none other than Sasquatchanakwa, or at least something that looked very much like it. "Uh, how's it going?" Priya asked awkwardly.
"Chris McLean," the yeti began to say in a deep and growling voice before it faded into something much more familiar, "is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?" He leaned towards the camera angrily, his long white teeth bared. "You stink!"
"Yo Chris," Chef's voice said from the yeti's end. "If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I-" The yeti smiled sheepishly. "Oh! You on the webcam?"
"Chris?" the two hosts asked in bewilderment as the audience roared in laughter.
Chef then got next to Chris. “Don't believe a word Izzy says,” he advised. “Girl's crazy.”
Priya and Damien looked at each other before the former spoke. "Now it's time for a segment that we like to call, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"
The crowd cheered as a short introduction was played with clips of various contestants getting hurt throughout the seasons scrolling across a sunburst pattern in a manner similar to part of the Gilded Chris ceremony introduction, albeit with a different theme tune.
Damien sighed happily as the shot cut back to him and Priya. "I do not miss getting humiliated."
"Here's what all of you didn't get to see on the show!" Priya looked back up as the television descended, and cut to the first in a series of clips set to a campy tune comprised primarily of a tuba, drums, and whistling.
The first clip showed Justin and Izzy walking backstage in their costumes during the acting challenge. Just then, a headlight fell and clubbed Justin on the head. "Looks like it's lights out for Justin," Damien said as the crowd laughed and a circle was drawn around the impact.
A bout of static heralded the second clip, in which Eva and Geoff were running through the beach set during the monster movie challenge. "This is a good one," Priya said as the monster stomped across the screen and left Eva and Geoff shaped holes on the ground, earning more laughter.
The third clip focused on Millie patting the sand castle for support until something bit her. She pulled her hand out and saw a crab pinched to her finger. "Ooh!" the hosts winced as a circle was drawn around the crab.
Next was a shot of Anne Maria twirling her lasso around. She threw it forward, but it got wrapped around her legs and pulled her down. "I don't even know what to draw for this," Priya laughed.
The next clip began to play. It consisted of nothing more than Mama Alien Chef walking forward with determination only to slip and fall on a pile of his own slime, his gun flying off-screen before a few shots rained back down on the fallen cook.
"Now that's gonna leave a mark," Damien said as Chef was circled and the scene cut back to the set. "With what's been happening," he said after a bit more laughing, "I am so glad I'm not competing."
“Do you guys think I could sing a song?” Trent asked Damien and Priya and held his guitar. “It's something I wrote after I left the show.”
“I'm not going to stop you,” Priya shrugged.
Trent strummed a beat to start his song, and the Peanut Gallery, Damien, Priya, Izzy, Geoff, and Eva listened attentively.
“We'll be separated for a couple of days,
And I know inside our heads our love stays.
I know I'll be okay, but I also know I'll be in a bad mood…
If I didn't show how much I love you…
And you love me too.”
When the song ended, the audience applauded and cheered heavily for Trent. “Sky, I want you to know that I'll be watching and rooting for you here,” he gave a shout out to his girlfriend, earning an 'Aww' from the audience.
"Now that is true love if I do say so myself," Priya gushed heavily with her arm on Damien's shoulder.
"Don't forget that ours is just as strong, if not more," Damien teased before he leaned in and kissed Priya, the audience oohing as the beginnings of a familiar tune began to play in the background.
“Could we get that hammer out here?” Izzy asked playfully and spoke to the camera. “I guess that's a wrap. Priya and Damien will see you next time!”
"You've got that right," Damien said as the kiss was broken and the Aftermath theme began to play.
"We've got a huge season coming up!" Priya added.
"And we'll be joining you again for another Aftermath!" Damien continued.
"Don't forget to follow Chris next time," Priya said with a smile, "for the next dramatically thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!" The audience cheered wildly, and another quick jingle played as the scene cut to the show's title card, the block letters gleaming one last time before fading to black.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed Izzy and Trent inside of the green room. Trent was in the middle of playing on his guitar and Izzy was helping herself to more food.
“So I gotta ask,” Trent said suddenly. “How come you didn't mind being called by your real name instead of “E-Scope”?”
Izzy stopped stuffing herself with crackers as soon as the question was asked. “Say what?”
“I'm talking about how the whole time you were competing, you'd act bratty because you weren't called by the name you wanted to be referred to as,” Trent pointed out.
“Well, I was repeatedly told that it was getting old and grating,” Izzy explained. “That kinda bummed me out cause I just wanted everyone to find it funny.”
“And they didn't,” Trent responded. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Izzy shrugged. “I'm not going to change my personality entirely, but the alter-egos should be taken down a notch. So about those secret admirers...”
“I don't even want to delve into those when I already have a loving girlfriend thank you very much,” Trent finished their conversation.
“Right,” Izzy nodded and returned back to her binge eating.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - 12th
Trent - 11th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky

We just finished our first international trip to Ireland as a couple in our early 30’s.
LOVED IT! had an amazing time and so many things I wouldn’t change and so many things I would have done differently!
Our itinerary.
Day 1 Land in Dublin at 10AM Drive to Galway Stop at Clonmacnoise Night in Galway
Day 2 Aran Island Ferry Bike rental on Aran islands with a stop at cliffs after. Night in Galway
Day 3 Leave Galway Drive to Killarney Stoped at Dunguaire Castle (did not plan this) Stoped at Cork screw Hill (did not plan this) Arrived at Cliffs of MoheHiked entire route. Arrived in Killarney
Day 4 Rented a bike and did the boat tour from Ross castle Biked the Gap Night in Killarney
Day 5 Left Killarney Stopped at Muckross Abbey Stopped at Torc Waterfall Stopped at Lady’s View
This is where the trip got FUN!
Right outside of Sneem I had a Tractor in the opposite oncoming lane where I had to take a sharp turn around a cliff…got to far left and struck the bottom of the cliffs…tore the tire to shreds…pulled off to the side of the road and called AAA a man showed up in a van, took our tire and came back in 10 mins with a new one. Was back on the road within 1 1/2 hours…however the alignment was completely off…and the axel was probably bent…right tire would scrap wheel well and screech like hell…So our Ring of Kerry adventure was over and now we needed to get back and exchange the car at a nearest (enterprise rental) 1 1/2 hours away in Tralee…so we had to go back track 20 mins and go through single lane roads through the ring of Kerry NO TOURISTS should be on especially with a busted car not safe to drive…but it was our only option to exchange the car…it was an absolute adventure in itself and some of the views cutting through that ring were amazing…
Exchanged car in Tralee Drived to Dingle Night in Dingle at Dick Mack’s and the Fish Box for dinner.
Day 6 Drove Slea Head Drive (consolation prize to Ring of Kerry) Stopped at Fairy Fort/Petting zoo Stopped at Beehives Sropped at the Slea Head and saw where they filmed Star Wars Went back to Dingle for lunch and Ice cream Drove back to Dublin to return car
Day 7 Day in Dublin Little museum of Dublin tour Dublin castle tour Dark side of Dublin street tour
Day 8 Took a early morning walk to see Trinity College and Saint Patrick Cathedral Fly home
Did all this while eating amazing food and drinking plenty of Guinness nightly lol.
TAKEAWAYS:

1. WE DID WAY TO MUCH! Haha we were operating on fumes half the time…partner is definitely sick with a cold and I easily had one the first half of the trip…
   
2. Don’t be afraid to drive, GET THE FULL INSURANCE…I did and only had to pay an extra 250 Euro and the car was a complete walk away…car easily had 1-2k euro worth of damage done to the axel…250 plus insurance is a small price to pay vs the 1-2k I would have had to pay.
   
3. Drive slow, I was going 10-20km/h under the speed limit the entire time especially on local roads.
   
4. Wish I Skip Galway…I would have just went to Doolin…I live in the NYC area and honestly Galway felt very touristy to me…I’d rather had stayed in Doolin and done the Ferry there and stayed away from the city.
   
5. Everyone takes card…we took out $500 in cash but honestly really didn’t use it. Taxi in Dublin did but that was it. Maybe take out $250? Or if you are sticking to a budget that would be a good option.
   
6. Verizon Wireless worked perfectly pretty much the entire time…cost $10 a day with the oversea plan but worked great.
   
7. There were so many times we wished we packed lunch and could just sit and eat on the cliffs or in the gap and relax. PACK LUNCH and just enjoy the view for 1/2 hour and relax. I wish we did that, we’d also would have saved some money on food.
   
8. Wish we spent more time in Dingle and spent more time exploring Killarney National Park.
   

HIGHLIGHTS:
-The boat tour and biking through the gap was AMAZING and I highly recommend. The guide on the boat tour did an amazing job and was very informative.
-The Fairy Fort/Petting Zoo was a fun experience. I hate looking like a tourist. But considering we were there in spring and all the sheep just had lambs and I kept seeing adorable animals I couldnt touch, was annoying in the best way possible! Here I could pet and feed goats/sheep/donkeys/lambs and alpaca? lol. Highly recommend this experience.
-Muckross Abbey was beautiful and probably the coolest building we saw and it’s FREE!
-Aran Island bike rental and ride was dope…definitely felt kinda touristy though…just too many people honestly.
COSTS:
Total cost was about $2,800 per person with flights/food/cahotel/excursions. So 5.6k total? We definitely had a few 100 euro dinners…next trip we’ll definitely budget better but honestly we did A LOT…ate and drank pretty well.
FINAL THOUGHT:
Go slow…Drive Slow…don’t plan too much…Enjoy the trip.

Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there! Well, to be fair, you're behind a screen reading this right now, possibly thousands of miles (or kilometers) away from me. How would I have seen you? Okay, now that I got that stupid and cringy introduction out of the way, I can get to the heart of things.
I’m a 27-year-old medical student from the USA with aspirations of becoming a psychiatrist one day—though neurology is pretty cool too. Since I know people care about looks (myself included), here’s a picture of me: https://imgur.com/a/ljMhz9X. Yes, that’s a picture of me kissing a container of milk in the street. Why am I kissing a container of milk in the street? I guess you'll have to message me to find out ;)
I’ll try my best to give a brief synopsis about myself. I’m 6’2” (188 cm). Actually, I’m technically 6’1-⅞”. If you’re going to bust my chops over ⅛” (0.32 cm), be my guest. Personality-wise, I’m definitely more on the introverted side. I’d describe myself as a fairly typical dorky White guy. Like most guys my age, I like to play video games—I’ve been playing the semi-recently released Helldivers II. If you have Helldivers II, we could play together sometime! I love silly things; if you think this video is funny, I think we’d get along. I also have a deep fascination with psychology, especially abnormal psychology and evolutionary psychology. I actually majored in psychology back in college (university), and my interest in psychology is what propelled me into pursuing psychiatry as a career. I’m not interested in casual flings and want something serious. I’m totally open to a LDR if we can eventually work to close the gap. I've only ever had one (now ex-) girlfriend in my entire life, so I'm really not super experienced in the realm of dating.
Here are a few fun facts about me:

• I love spicy foods — I’ve had people from Sichuan (province in China known for its ridiculously spicy cuisine) tell me I have a high spice tolerance
• I can speak German decently well — Zugegeben, mein Deutsch ist ziemlich eingerostet :P
• I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue — This was a big deal l back when I was like 7 years old, okay?
• Even though I have green eyes, I’m slightly red-green colorblind — Histology is the bane of my existence!
• I’m actually pretty good at cooking — I made some ayam masak merah (Malaysian/Singaporean spicy tomato chicken dish) yesterday. Not to toot my own horn, but it was pretty tasty.
• I don’t like coffee — I seriously don’t get all the hype surrounding coffee. People lose their minds over a drink that tastes like fancy, artisanal dirt. There’s also a plethora of other (oftentimes cheaper) ways to get caffeine, just sayin’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• The smallest country I’ve visited is Liechtenstein — It’s ˢᵒ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ

This is what I’m looking for:

• Someone who speaks English fluently or near-fluently — It doesn’t bother me at all if English isn’t your native language, as long as you speak it well. I actually think most non-native accents are cute.
• Someone who doesn’t have kids — I’m childfree and want someone who’s also childfree, though I'm open to having kids in the future.
• Someone who’s younger than or the same age as me — I’m open to 18-27, but I’d prefer someone who’s 20-25.
• Someone who doesn’t drink alcohol or do drugs — I don’t drink alcohol nor do drugs (including marijuana) and want somebody who doesn’t either. I suppose I’d be fine with someone who drinks occasionally/socially, but drugs are a dealbreaker for me.
• Someone who has a similar sense of humor — I’m pretty sarcastic and the kind of person who likes to tease people I’m close with. I also like it when people bust my chops (I can take it just as well as I dish it out). I just love good banter! All in good fun, of course.

Congratulations! You’ve officially slogged through this super long post. If I seem like a decent guy, please feel free to drop me a message and tell me your favorite dessert (mine is a cannoli)—this way I know you've read through my post. I’d also highly appreciate if you’d send a picture of yourself so that I can match a face to the chat. Hope to hear from you!

Prot warrior is totally busted while leveling in dungeons. Spreading rend and hitting revenge is just insane damage, I usually do like 50-70% of the groups damage as the tank. Every tier list I check has prot warrior as the worst tank though. Why is prot warrior so bad in the raid when it is so dominant in dungeons?

Monday
Dimmy: WHAT are you about to do? Stevie Kate: Go on my bicycle in my sandals and nightgown, way over there. Dimmy: Oh my goodness, are you so excited? Speedy Kate: Yeah I’m going to go FAR AWAY. Dimmy: Oh my goodness are you going to stay nice and safe? Runaway Kate: Uh… I think. Don’t worry about it! I’ll be FAR AWAY from this dog and pony show. I’m going off the grid never to seen again on Instagram! Dimmy: Whatever. Push with your feet! Stevie Cycle: Mommy, look I’m doing so good. Dimmy: You’re doing a great job! Stevie Kate: If only you would do a great job potty training me and dressing me in the proper clothes to play outside in! I just lost a toe in these sandals and my nightgown got caught in the spokes! Splat.
Dimmy: We haven’t had a date night since London was born so we decided to do a date night in Hello Fresh shill! Some people use Hello Fresh as an actual meal solution for their family. Can you imagine? That sounds like a lot of work. We just use it when we have a code to shill! We’re far too lazy to cook real food otherwise, even with a meal kit. I mean, just look at all the junk and trash we have piled by the door!
Tuesday
Dimmy: I think when I look back years from now, I’ll be like why the fuck are all my family memories on Astroturf? If we’re not traveling, Stevie Kate’s either in the Astroturf side yard or we’re all on the Astroturf at the local shopping center having a picnic. We live on Astroturf almost daily when it’s nice outside! It’s such a fun way to be outside without ever coming into contact with actual nature- yuck! When we’re not being fake online, we want to sit on something fake offline!
Headed into my six week postpartum appointment! Steven wanted me to go today so I can get the all-clear to have sex with him for our anniversary tomorrow. Damn where did the time go? How has it been six weeks already? That was way too brief of a break from the bed troll.
It has been way too long since I washed my hair. It is so gross. But that’s not stopping me from continuing to not wash it! I am going to use my time to shill you shower bombs instead. I may be dirty, but I will soon be filthy- filthy rich that is!
Thursday
Dimmy: Today is our nine-year wedding anniversary! To celebrate, none of us washed our hair or changed any diapers, then we headed out on a walk. The girls wore last night’s pajamas and I wore London incorrectly. So basically today was just like any other day! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
In 2014 I started dating Steven after meeting him in HLTH code founder / BYU professor Ben Bikman’s weightlifting class, turning him down a million times, and dating a bunch of other guys. Once we started dating, we traveled the world together, which to me is the equivalent of being wined and dined, so I said yes when he asked me to marry him. What was I thinking?
2015! Also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. We got married and became permanent planet partners forever.
2016 was a happy year. Steven and the rest of the Houghtons hadn’t totally sucked all the life out of me yet.
By 2017 the tide was starting to turn, but here’s a photo from when I still looked happy and carefree.
2018 was so bad I deleted all the photos from my phone except this one of Steven with the stupid body pillow I gave him that used to pop up as IG content as often as Active Skin Repair ads do now.
2019 was a year of travel and leisure, so it looked pretty much like every other year.
2020! We moved to Arizona for Steven’s failed “business venture,” started locking the fridge and bounced a raw Thanksgiving turkey on a sheet like a parachute with Steven’s family and the Frankenstones during the height of COVID.
2021! This was the year Steven made me roller blade for diapers containing either shit or money on Mother’s Day a few short weeks after giving birth, and also the year he shoved McDonald’s down my throat until I cried. It really was a life-changing year, because the CONTENTOT arrived in 2021, earning us so much cash that…
…In 2022 we were able to begin an annual tradition of five-week summer vacations around the world. It was also the year of Stevie Kate’s big first birthday bash that Steven skipped to get a blepharoplasty, and I ended up crying in the closet.
2023 was a bust. I got pregnant with the Disappointment Baby, not the male heir Steven wanted. He said if I threw a huge gender reveal influencer bash for our second girl, he would skip it like he did SK’s first birthday party. So we sulked off to Deer Valley to see my family instead and made Tanner troubleshoot the faulty pink confetti cannons in the rain while Steven lounged about inside on his phone. Tiffany was a no-show because God blessed her with a $2 million housing miracle, but we didn’t want her there anyway.
2024! The year Steven took Stevie Kate to China and truly showed what an unfit father he is. She almost didn’t survive. This was also the year we didn’t tell Stevie Kate she turned three until April, and also we became a family of four! And all of you assholes are thinking, wow, does this girl not have a limit? How does she tolerate Steven and his terrible family and not walk out the door?
Friday
Dimmy: For our anniversary yesterday we stayed at a hotel while someone (Diana, but I won’t give her credit) watched the girls. I knew Steven had the hotel booked but all day I thought I wasn’t getting anything else, just a night with the fridge troll. 🤢 He didn’t tell me happy anniversary or give me flowers or anything. But I was wrong! When I got to the hotel there were roses in the middle of the bed, along with a fucking chocolate cake! There were also four chocolate covered strawberries and a random ass brownie scattered on the the white bedspread. And that’s not all! Cap’n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms were in the room too! And a box of Dirty Dough cookies. But you know what was missing? Plates, bowls and utensils! Thank goodness Steven had his rusty pocket knife. I was hoping he’d get tetanus or eat so much sugar he’d pass out without touching me!
Dummy must still be fighting his way out of a sugar fog because today he’s “too busy” to go car shopping with Dimmy, but apparently not too busy to watch Stevie Kate while Dimmy, Diana and London flitted about from luxury car dealer to dealer looking at giant vehicles. The trio traveled by orange parachute, which also doubled as a dress Dimmy wore. 🪂 No one could focus on the cars Dimmy showed or any of the features she was comparing because her billowy parachute dress was too distracting.
Dimmy: Before I sign off for the night, you know I’ve got to shill something dumb first because the only thing I like more than sleeping ten hours a night, is making money while I sleep! ARMRA COLOSTRUM. We have been using this for months and we do not get sick because we take Armra every single day! 🤥
Dummy: Watermelon is the best flavor. No, wait, I like the unflavored one the best. Because it doesn’t taste like anything. Which is what I actually take: NOTHING! But make sure YOU buy one of each!
Saturday
Dimmy: Introducing… Princess Aurora with her beautiful train dragging behind her! Cinder Kate: I’m dressed like Cinderella. And I told you two weeks ago to stop introducing me like the Denner girl with the unfortunate mouth. Dimmy: Speaking of which, guess who we are going to see today?? Cinder Kate: Cinderella??!! Dimmy: Guess again! Stevie Kate: Princess Aurora? Dimmy: Remi Denner! Stevie Kate: Nooooo! Dimmy: I’ll buy you a donut if you cooperate! Stevie Kate: In that case I’ll grab my princess heels… let’s go!
The Denner girl turned out to be the least of Cinder Kate’s worries as the Denner boy, that bratty overgrown baby named Rhett, escaped his double stroller and took her hand while she was walking ahead of the group pretending she didn’t know who any of these assholes were. Speedy Kate shook him loose and took off running, making a mental note to bring her scooter next time for an even faster getaway. She ran all the way home to watch Cinderella and get her mind off the whole awful ordeal but no one would let her watch her movie so she just binged Dimmy’s powdered sunscreen video over and over that was part of her PR package. Watching an ad for sunscreen sure beat hanging out with the Denners.
Dimmy: Good job, Stevie Kate! Watching shills is always encouraged! Time to link it up and douse you in powdered sunscreen! Stevie Cough: Vanishes into a dust storm of powdered sunscreen
Dimmy: Hey Iris, what recipes do you suggest for dinner? The fridge troll ate all of our Factor meals. Snaps photo of fridge contents.
Iris: Well you don’t have much to work with so I’d suggest you let Stevie Kate take that bag of leftover rotisserie chicken into the side yard and smother it in a mixture of the Bonne Maman jam, sour cream, and sugar fee Jello pudding. That can be her dinner and you can have milk and cereal for dinner, assuming you have Magic Spoon in the pantry.
Dimmy: That sounds disgusting!
Iris: Shit, IDK. 🤷‍♂️ You can always use your empty fridge as an excuse to shill a Hello Fresh order, then have pizza delivered for dinner? By the way, can I suggest a color palette for you? That orange dress you had on yesterday was tragic AF.
Dimmy: Fuck off.
LINK TO THIS WEEK’S PHOTO

Any one headed out tonight? Seems like there are some experts who say tonight could be something too… but I feel like last night (Sat)‘s total bust was a hit on their credibility. Please share sighting tips!

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
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UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
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UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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I'm not the OOP!

I'm not talking about what GW is going to do, but lets say that for some random and totally irrational reason Games Workshop approached you, yes you random 40k civilian, and said you have to design the new Deathwatch codex for 10th edition. It can't be absolutely busted, has to feel like it would be something that could realistically be introduced into the game. What would you do with the new Deathwatch Codex?
This came up in conversation a few weeks back and it got me thinking and I want to see what everyone else would do. Instead of focusing on the doom and gloom of recent rumors that GWs about to GUT the Deathwatch, or at the very least roll them into the Agents of the Imperium, lets pretend things are amazing and that GW has our best interest(and money) in mind and would make the perfect Deathwatch for us. What does that look like to you?
Just sharing my answer, it would be something like absolutely breaking the Kill Team system and just letting us pick any 5 infantry/mounted units to be in a single kill team. You could only select 1 of each type of infantry/mounted unit but just go crazy with the silly and ridiculous combinations. I want to see a Heavy Intercessor, Aggressor, Terminator, Outrider, and Veteran w/IHB in a single squad. Imagine the combinations!

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Tried to post this a few months ago and then chickened out but decided to go for it. I dated a guy when I was 18, he was about 4 years older than me. That relationship was the closest thing I have ever had to love. Our first time meeting was a double date, we went to a party together where he accidentally punched me in the face (he was supposedly rough-housing with a dude behind me while I was sitting on the couch) he apologized profusely and then rushed me to another room to check out my face and clean up the blood from my busted cheek (I still have the scar under my eye) and we had a very hot kiss. We went on an actual date in the next day or two and then were seeing eachother steadily for a few months. He introduced me to all his friends, even took me to a family gathing. He really made me a part of his life. He was layed back, always kind to me, adventurous, protective (in the best way, not controlling), he bought everything when we were together even cigarettes for me though he didn't smoke (not that I ever expected this). The intimacy I had with him was nothing I had ever experienced before or since (he was my second sexual experience). I could really be myself with him, like even my tired, quiet self that didn't want to say much sometimes and he never treated me like I was weird. I even farted in front of him and I think that says alot :) We were both on the fringes of society type people (he wore a mowhawk and I had pink hair and piercings). I remember when he told me he loved me, I said it back but I had no idea what I was saying. I thought telling someone you love them was just something you did after a certain amount of time in a relationship and I always figured this was what he was doing, it was just THAT time. Could he have actually meant it? I didn't believe he did at the time but as I was reading a couple relationship books I started to realize what a good guy he was and that he may have actually loved me. I get that feeling when I think of him and my mind imagines being with him now. I come from a family history of dysfunctional love and so I have operated in relationships with the "I will leave or hurt you before you can do it to me" mentality. Honestly I was 18 so I was not really looking for a long term relationship and my lifestyle was just pretty carefree at the time or atleast as much as I could make it. But I enjoyed being with this man, he made me feel safe and seen, even though I was still a very wounded person. At one point, I left town with my best friend whom I was living with at the time, she was ditching town with her BF and I knew she wasn't in a great mental space so I went with her to make sure she was safe. Her BF ended up stealing gas when we were leaving town and we were chased by Highway Patrol and through a national forest on foot before this guy stole a car and robbed a lady of her handbag. I called my BF a few days into the excursion and I told him the crazy stuff that we had gotten into and that I was scared, he ofcourse was totally supportive and literally organized my rescue with the help of some staff at my highschool (where I was still attending). After all this, I ended up moving back home (with my dad) and didn't see him much after that from what I remember. I know at some point I went on a trip to where I had lived before and ended up kissing a guy I used to have crush on, when I came back I told BF what I did and I could tell he was pretty disapointed and hurt but acted like it wasn't a big deal since we only kissed and I didn't have feelings for the other guy anymore. But I think this may have been the start of our end which makes sense. I don't remember us ever really officially breaking up. A while later though after I hadn't seen him for a bit I remember calling him up before I was going to leave town and go on a trip. We hung out at his place and ended up being intimate, which was my intention in seeing him. I was just feeling like, "I am an independent woman and I do what I want, this guy doesn't really care for me anyway, he just wants my body so I can use his too". It was not like the other times we had spent together though and I didn't feel good after either. I felt empty and more dead inside than ever. A week or so went by and he texted me to tell me I had left something at his place, I sent the response "you might just be keeping that" which shows the vengeful attitude I felt towards him, for feeling used even though I obviously was just as guilty and more so. I didn't get a response back. I have thought about him from time to time but more so lately. I think about him sometimes during the day and almost every night for the past week or so. I don't have his number or any mutual friends anymore. I tried to look him up several years ago to just send him an apology for the cheating and being just a jerk in the end and tell him he didn't deserve that (at that time I was just wanting to right all the wrongs I had done to people in life after finding faith in Jesus) but I don't remember if I ever was able to find him on FB or sent the message. I haven't seen him in years but did run into one of his friends a couple years ago who said he was still in town and not married. Is this connection I had with him something that could be viable 15 years later? I honestly feel like I would rather be with him than any one else. I don't want to meet anyone new. I just want to be with him and feel the way I did with him before I screwed everything up. Am I just lonely and regretful or is there any hope for this situation. Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I just dreaming? I don't know if I am feeling this way for a logical reason, are feelings something you should ever really pay attention to in this kind of situation? Am I a psychopath if I look him up? Should I jyst wait and hope for fate to reconnect us? Is this something I should hold out hope for? I haven't dated much in the last ten years (about 5 first dates) and zero intimacy. I am 34 which may be part of my problem, my body is like, "we need a man and babies, pronto!" I just miss this guy, is that crazy?

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Context: You and your now best friend have been roommates for the longest time, you both hardly ever fight while also both having stable jobs so it's a nice compromise for you two. Your roommate goes on dates quite often, and up until recently you didn't mind. But that changed, and she herself realised how much it has...
[Pause] [Short Pause] to pause
\Stars and italic to signify an action or an emotion/tone**
\Door opening and closing**
\Sigh**
"Another date turns out to be a bust, welcome to the world of dating apps I guess"
[Pause]
"Okay, you don't have a right to talk. You can say surprise, surprise all you want but at least I'm trying to find someone. Unlike a certain someone who hasn't even attempted to ask someone out since he got a place with such a pretty girl."
[Pause]
"Okay I'll have you know that I wouldn't even come close to dating a guy if he was only interested in my looks. So that trumps that argument."
[Pause]
\Gasp**
"No! People don't just swipe based on look in dating apps shut up! They look at the hobbies the past. Where they were born and-"
[Short Pause]
"Y-yeah.. I guess it is mainly placed on how they look.. But shut! Just because others might do it doesn't mean I do. If my amazing good looks gives me more dates with the potential one then so be it. Again, at least I'm trying unlike someone. Why don't you get out there, try to find a pretty girl. Move in with them, it would be nice to get rid of you, you know. You snore way to loud some night's, thank god I never bring a date home."
\Soft laugher**
[Pause]
"There it is. The typical loner response, I don't want a relationship. Yeah right, we both know you wish you could have someone like me to cuddle up and watch movies with. You can't fool me roomie, I know you're touch starved. By the looks of things it's your own fault with how you're going about it. You know, going about it by doing nothing about it? Pretty good way of staying touch starved."
[Pause]
"Soo.. You wouldn't want someone like me sitting next to you.."
\Speaker sits into fabric moving**
"Softly brushing your arm like that?"
\Soft laughter**
"See, turning bright red is a big give away that you're wanting something"
[Pause]
"Okay yes I'm attractive but you don't turn that red unless you haven't been touched like that for a very long time. So are you going to admit that you're touch starved or are you going to stick by the terrible lie that you don't want a relationship. Which by the way a blind person could see that you're lying about that."
[Pause]
\Sigh**
"Fine, I'll just keep brushing your arm till you admit it"
\Fabric moving**
"I can see you enjoying it you know. You're not that good at hiding things, despite what you and the boys. Might think, I wonder how they'd react now. Seeing their I don't want a relationship friend, enjoying a woman's soft touch brushing up and down their arm. Personally I think they'd be jealous, especially if that girl was someone like me. Pretty, out going, can cook and clean. I'm the total package for gamer guys like them. As well as, guys like you. Don't you think?"
[Pause]
\Soft laugher**
"Oh it's like that is it? Just because all of those dates couldn't see it doesn't mean it's not there. I would of done all of that for them, and more... If they saw me more than a pretty face, but oh well maybe there isn't a cute gamer guy out there who would appreciate something like that."
[Pause]
"There's someone out there for me? That's very sweet of you to say but coming from someone who's not even trying to get a date I don't think those words work coming from that mouth. Anyways if all of the cute guys like yourself are too scared to go onto a dating app I doubt that I'd find the one on one of them."
[Pause]
\Soft laughter**
"Yes, I called you cute. It is the truth after all, so of course I'd say it. Why? Are you not used to a girl complimenting you either?"
[Short Pause]
"Aww sweetie, look at you! You've gotten so red, I can barley recognize you. I can stop with all of the teasing if you want me to. But, only if you truly want me to."
[Pause]
"Mm, sorry roomie. Not buying it, if you look away from me and stutter while saying it, it'll make me think you actually want more and if you don't want more. Well then I'd just feel bad.. Maybe."
[Short Pause]
"Come on look at me. If you truly want me to stop, look at me.. It can't be too hard can it? You do it a lot everyday. Or.. Is me being this close to you too much for you to handle, like I said if you can look at me and tell me to stop teasing you I will. So come on roomie.."
\Whispering**
"Look at me and tell me what you want.."
[Pause]
\Soft laughter**
"Oh you want more teasing now? What happened to you don't need no girlfriend? Guess that's just been swept away hasn't it? It's so cute to watch someone crumble in embarrassment when they've been found out.."
[Pause]
\Soft laughter**
"Nah ah roomie, I don't think I will stop. After all you asked for more didn't you? As the good person I am who would I be to deny such a request? Speaking of more teasing, let me get a little closer and by a little closer I mean.."
\Speaker straddles listener**
"There we go, much better."
[Short Pause]
"Aww, am I too close roomie? It's okay, you can handle it. Just look at me with those perfect eyes of yours.."
[Pause]
"See, that's it.. Isn't this much better? Knowing that those innocent eyes are looking deep into my soul. As I look back into the perfect soul it has behind those eyes for me.."
[Pause]
"Yes.. I said perfect. The kind, gentle, I'll admit sarcastic and rude sometimes. Cutie has a perfect soul to go with him. The perfect package, yet so shy that he doesn't know what to do with himself."
[Pause]
\Soft laughter**
"No I'm not pulling your leg, I'm teasing you yes. But not about this, everything I'm saying to you is true.. Just like how every date I went on was to hopefully get you out of my head, but no one even came close to how perfect you are."
[Pause]
"No.. I'm not lying, let's not start with this whole. Are you pranking me, you're way to out of my league or a pretty girl can't be flirting with me and actually mean it, because I do. Honestly, that's been on my chest for a while and I'm glad it's finally gone."
[Pause]
"No I'm not! Oh you know what, screw it"
\Kisses from the speaker**
"There, am I lying now?"
[Pause]
"You need more kisses to make sure? My, my how greedy. Okay then.. Come here.."
\More kisses from the speaker**
"So, who doesn't need a relationship? By the looks of things you're in one now aren't you?"
[Pause]
"That's right, I'll protect you, feed you, take care of you. Let you know every day how loved you are. How amazing you are, from now on no matter where I am if I sense you with a frown I'll be there for you always."
[Pause]
"Oh shut up, I am not adorable when I'm all sappy. Don't make me climb on top of you and pin you down Mr. I'm hoping to save that for a much more.. Intimate confirmation of our relationship later on."
\Soft laughter**
"So, what do you want to do? Maybe... Watch a movie while your new girlfriend snuggles up to you?"
[Short Pause]
"Yeah? Sounds perfect? I'm glad. Then again I'm not surprised that someone so perfect can see that something else is perfect.."
\Soft laughter into kisses**
"Honestly, I might just make out with you instead of watching the movie. Guess todays a good test of our self control huh?"
\Soft laughter**
"Okay, let's find a movie to watch."
\Speaker kisses listeners cheek into fade out**
[END]