Burning pain right upper quadrant radiating to back

I (24F) had PF for over a year and with physio and insoles and exercises etc all the pain I was having in everyday life is gone. But I still can’t even go for a 10 minute walk without my feet and calves getting so sore and tight - and this is what caused my PF in the first place. I need to lose weight and walking is the best way for me but it’s making it impossible when I’m in pain and terrified of making PF come back. I have HOKA transports with powerstep insoles. I’ve tried doing stretches etc but maybe I’m not doing the right ones - would love to hear your experiences and any advice :)

“Well…..frak.”
Those were the only words Corporal James Diogenes could think of to describe his current situation. Behind him, he watched as his comrades turning tail and running away.
“Cowards. Cowards one and all.”
He spit into the dirt towards his former allies then turned towards the other part of his problem.
Xenos. A large army of Xenos, one that was far more disciplined and had far more bodies than command had assumed. He couldn’t remember what they were called or even remember the name of the planet he was on. He couldn’t care for either topic. He wasn’t surprised that the Intel he and his colleagues had been fed was wrong, it often was, but never to this degree. The enemy outnumbered the imperial army forces at least 7 to 1 if not far more. Their tactics were similar to those employed by the imperial army but their population meant they could do more tactical maneuvers, on more fronts, at the same time.
Why the imperial navy didn’t annihilate those armies from orbit, James would never understand. Given his current situation he most likely wouldn’t get a chance to ask. He checked the magazine on his auto-gun, the rifle being rather old by the standards of the current imperial army but its age held up as it punched through most body armor he came across.
“…..Frak.”
He cursed again as he inspected the magazine. Three, maybe four rounds left before he was out? He looked over his shoulder and sighed. The cowards took the ammo with them along with any other supplies they could carry, leaving an empty trench and a few rows of rusty flay-wire.
And James but he chose to stay behind.
A low chuckle escaped him as that thought came to mind. He shook his head as he took his spot in the trench. He wouldn’t win this fight, he was sure of it, but by Terra and in the Emperor’s name he would make them bleed. He would make them hurt.
The few rounds he had in his magazine were gone in no times at all. Four enemies laying in the dust and being trampled by their friends was proof of that. He smiled grimly as he watched his enemies march towards him. They had all bowed their heads slightly, seemingly expecting more shots. That got him laughing. A few bullets and a whole army was shaking before him. He wondered if this is what the primarchs, the emperors daughters, felt like whenever they were on crusade.
He tossed his empty rifle to the side. His smile grew as he held his knife, gripping it tightly as he watched the advancing line of xeno scum. The leather of his glove strained as his hidden knuckles grew white from how tightly he gripped his knife. He considered for a moment what he’d do when the enemy came into the trench. He knew he would fight and die, but he wondered how many of them he’d kill before they took him down.
He reached back behind him, grabbing the Krak grenade he had attached to his belt. He held it tightly and used the middle finger of his knife hand to pull the pin. He held close, holding the striker lever down to ensure it wouldn’t go off until he let go of it. Then he waited.
The world closed in. Darkness tinted the edge of his vision as he watched his enemy march ever closer. Nothing existed save for him and the enemy. He knew what this was. Adrenaline, anticipation, and fear all coming together to activate his fight-or-flight response. He whole body felt charged and he had to stop himself from jumping out of the trench and running…..where? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t guarantee his body wouldn’t turn tail and follow the rest of the imperial army back to the transports.
He adjusted his cap, scratched his bearded cheek and continued to watch. Watch and wait. That was all he could do now. His breathing grew heavy and erratic, his teeth barred, and a low growl escaped him.
The marching stopped.
He stared and waited.
A ploy? A chance to surrender maybe? Were they simply calling in artillery on his position?
That last thought stopped him. Artillery. Would they call artillery or an orbital strike or some other long distance attack on his position?
No. No, no, no, no they wouldn’t escape him that easy.
He scowled and climbed out of the trench, charging the Xenos line with a roar. The knife was raised over his head, holding it in an upside down fashion, as he sprinted towards his enemy. He refused to die to some cowardly artillery strike, he absolutely refused to be turned into a red smear on some backwater planet that no one would ever remember or care about.
The enemy….ran. They ran! He laughed as he chased after them. It didn’t make sense and he didn’t care. He couldn’t care, he was beyond caring.
“Get back here you throne damned bastards! GET THE FRAK BACK HERE!”
He slowed down long enough to toss the Krak grenade, laughing loudly when he saw it go off and take a handful of Xenos down.
The blood….was blood always so beautiful?
He continued running after the enemy before he stopped again. He stopped running cause something had stopped him. He didn’t understand, his legs were still under him, he was still alive, he could still fight!
“Kraking, bastard, filthy xenos, kill you all-“
“Shut up.”
He stopped talking, the voice snapping him out of…..whatever that was. He regained control and realized why he stopped running. Something had picked him up. He stared down at the ground only to realize how high he was above it.
“Hnngh, let go of me.”
He turned towards whatever was holding him only for his eyes to grow wide.
There stood….a woman. A very big woman with metallic dreadlocks poking out of her skull, her armor exposing skin and flesh in the fashion of a gladiator of old. He stared at him with a raised eyebrow and a silent growl as a twitch of pain or anger made her right eye close for a half second.
“Excuse me….heh….corporal.”
She said his rank as if it was an insult, even going as far as spitting on the ground after she said it. She held up by the back of his flak vest like he was little more than a lost puppy. She treated him like he wasn’t worth even talking to and that he was some stupid grunt who was simply in the way.
Space marines raced past both of them, ignoring them in favor of chasing after the retreating Xenos. They….were gonna steal his glory.
“Let me go damn you, the fights over there!”
The woman laughed loudly. Her head held back as her laughter echoed over the battlefield. A part of him thought her laughter was the most horrific and beautiful sound he ever heard, but it was overshadowed by his growing rage.
“You wouldn’t do-hnngghh-do anything to those alien freaks by yourself. Go home boy. Run with the rest of your fri-“
He swiped at her and smiled widely when he saw a small, paper thin cut open up on her cheek. A small trickle of blood dribbled down her skin as her smile disappeared. Her free hand came up and wiped at the cut. She studied the small swipe of blood on her finger. The cut was nothing, it wouldn’t even scar and she had lost far more blood then this in the blood pits. But something about this man taking a swipe at her, daring to cut her, daring to even consider killing or harming her…..
She smiled widely and put the man on her shoulder.
“You. I like you. You’re mine now little man.”
He tried to jump off but she held firm and turned away from the battle. Her sons would handle the fight. He roared on her shoulder and struggled against her grip, his rage growing as he did everything he could to get into the fight and kill. He wanted to, no needed to spill blood. He needed to kill, he needed to make them bleed.
But this goddess in bronze wouldn’t let him. She walked away and set him down in a space marine Rhino. He didn’t know her, he didn’t know why she took him, and he didn’t care. Instead he sighed and hung his head as he lit a iho stick.
“Don’t worry Corporal, there will be more glory to be had.”
He stared at her. His eyes were bloodshot, his body covered in dust and he felt exhausted.
“Hnngh…frakking….throne damn you….”
She smiled widely at that and pulled the trigger on her chainaxe. She then turned towards the driver.
“On second thought, hmm let’s go. I wanna see what you got little corporal.”
He smiled at that and stood up, popping his neck. He exhaustion was forgotten for the time being as the thought of killing those damned Xenos got his blood pumping and made him want to move.
“By the way.”
The giantess spoke as the rear hatch opened, revealing the same battlefield he had just left.
“My name is Atalanta.”
Please note: I’m not a writer and this whole story came to me while I was in a shower and from my lack of artistic skill. Sorry if it’s trash.

I had a friend from back when we were both 14 years old (31 now). Since we became friends at school you could rarely see us apart. We were going on the concerts together, holidays, festivals, same high school after which we emigrated abroad together etc. I became very close with her and her family who gave me what I couldn't find in my own-warmth, intrest, guidance. She was always a dominant and prideful person and I on the other hand very easy going, big ppl pleaser- we matched like a puzzles. After we moved abroad she met her boyfriend and moved in together with him, it was hard for me but I understood that it is quite normal to start a relationship and I did my best to deal with it, having in mind that I should also do sth about my life. She did her best to don't leave me with a feeling that I was left alone, I was invited few times per week at first and then on the weekends. Abroad I was working in a shitty job and one day I was really excited as I found sth I would like to study, it was perfect for me and I was ready to go back to home country and make it work, when I told her she said first "u kidding that u will not leave me alone here" and then that I will not handle the responsibility coming with future career. As she was my biggest authority, my spirit was crushed and I went nowhere. I accepted my life as it was. Living with strangers as I couldn't afford my own place, shitty job, going to her every weekend to play games and by that I mean she was playing and I was looking. It didn't bother me for years but at some point it started- I said that perhaps I could also play for a change- well no. My job was to just be there excited to watch. When I didn't feel like coming over I heard that im a boring old lady. Many times I felt like I should stand up for myself, but I knew that she will win the argument anyway as she proved many times. Not only win but also make me feel guilty or stupid for even saying anything- I gave up, didn't think much of myself. My life was dedicated to her, adjusted to her decisions and likings. When I changed my job for the first time for a long time sth started to change. After some time I actually gathered a little confidence seeing that im actually doing good. I met ppl who didn't call me stupid. She said that I've changed. (Didn't say it straight but I don't think she meant this in a positive way). In a meantime I also met my current boyfriend. He already had a plan to go back to his homeland to study engineering, I felt really good around him and we had a long distance relationship, she didn't like that at all saying that he does not respect me as he should come back to me and Im being desperate. I didn't feel that way and wanted to continue, we had many "conversations" when she would try to convince me to her perspective and after some time of putting thing in my head I actually agreed with her-as long as she was around - when conversation was over I couldn't think that way as these were not really mine thoughts. Seeing that nothing changes she started to push me away and also me- didn't try my best to fix but just letting it happen kinda we drove apart- not knowing how or if can be fixed without going back to how it was. At some point she texted that we don't really have that much in common anymore and then I told her how I felt she is treating me, zero boundaries, respect that she made me feel bad about myself many times, how unfair her behaviour was through the years. She was shocked to hear this as I never brought such concerns up. We had a long and painful exchange but to summarise - my fault is bigger according to her as I should have said sth and she feels like I left her to first boyfriend who comes around and threw our friendship away. Me - I explained why I was not able to stand up for myself, how she treated everything I said (as nonsense). I felt like one big nonsense most of the times. I think there is some truth to what she says regarding the leaving to sb else but not in the sense she said that. I met ppl who value me for who I am and not treating me like a project to correct every time they see and I simply felt more at ease with them, accepted. Anyway we don't speak for almost a year, I think about her every day, month ago I texted her but she did not read the message. I miss her as of course she has great advantages too and we were super close for 15years and im just scared did i do the right thing with finally saying sth and now as a result being without her or perhaps I made a big mistake.

Y'all this is the longest post ever but I need to take a poll. The question at hand is: Do I accept the puppy? Back story: For literally as long as I can remember, I have yearned for my own big-headed blue American Bully. I've prayed for it, dreamt about it, cried over it, everything you can do to manifest something. I have experienced many devastating losses in the last few years; my best friend/sistesoulmate passed in my arms just a few months go, and both of my moms (biological and adoptive,) my grandpa, my little brother, and my relationship with my son's father (who was my childhood guy best friend) are all gone. To put it lightly, I am not okay. My heart is constantly aching and I can never catch my breath. I'm really struggling emotionally, and I feel painfully alone all the time. I've been able to keep myself together enough to be a good mom and provide for my son and the animals I already have, but I am dying inside and I desperately need something good to happen in my life. My friend's dog had a litter of purebred blue American bullies and she is offering me a free puppy. Here is the problem: I am not financially set in life. My car died a little over a month ago and I'm having a lot of trouble saving up for another one. I don't get government assistance except healthcare, I work, my bills are paid, I have groceries, my animals have food, but after that, money is tight. I rent my house at a low cost and it is quite a fixer-upper but I've lived there for 4 and a half years and I'm allowed to have pets with no restrictions. I have always fostered animals and I currently have a dog that I bottle raised, so I have everything for a puppy except puppy kibble and puppy pads, and the price of those things aren't going to be the difference between me paying bills or saving for a car. I have a big fenced in back yard. I work third shift so I am always home during the day for training/quality time. I can purchase the puppy's vaccines online and do them myself for a fraction of the cost at the vet. There are resources around me for low-income pet healthcare. But there are times I've needed to borrow money from people, and I've received financial help from loved ones when needed, and those people are understandably frustrated that I'm even considering accepting the puppy. This puppy is truly a lifelong dream-come-true for me and the chances of this opportunity coming back around, a free purebred blue pit falling into my lap, are slim to none...but they aren't wrong about it being not the best financial decision. My thoughts are, I'm going to be financially stressed with or without the puppy, so why not do something that will help piece my heart back together, something I've always wanted? Do I accept the ridicule and judgment from my loved ones and follow my heart? I know I could make it work, but it also means forfeiting any future financial help and that's definitely something to consider in case I hit a rough patch again. Another point I'd like to make is that I did have two dogs. I was financially supporting, training, and caring for two dogs for years, not including dogs I fostered, and when my son's father and I separated, he kept his dog and I kept mine. He lives in the downstairs apartment and I live upstairs, so I still see the dog, but he's not mine anymore and I don't financially support the dog anymore. And relinquishing responsibility of that dog did not help me financially or emotionally. What do I do? I've been going back and forth for weeks and my heart hurts. My window of opportunity is closing. Thanks for reading my novel. So, yes, get the puppy? Or no, suffer? LOL

Speaker is lost in thought while walking through one of the centeral villages
Speaker: "where is everyone? Its not like the locals to be hiding away on such a nice day, maybe there's soke event on, or maybe no one could be bothered to leave their house this morning"
the sound of running footsteps approaches, and Speaker is suddenly tackled to the ground as an arrow flying over head just misses them, low and behold, Listener is there with their sword up
Speaker: "what are yo-? Ah shit, don't tell me those are outlaws. They are? Fuck, is everyone okay? Are you alright?"
listener, explains that everyone is alright and that now one was too hurt
Speaker: "You're alright though, right?"
listener, doesn't answer but instead gets up and hells the speaker up as the outcasts run at them
Speaker: "looks like we're on the same side in this fight, eh? {chuckle}"
listener tried to hold back a chuckle as they both stand back and back
Speaker: "this is just sad, you're tiny compared to me, Shorty"
the two of them fight off the outlaws, taking most of them out, though listener seems pale and weak. As the last Outlaw is killed, Speaker celebrates, though Listener is weak
Speaker: "we did it. Eastling we-, are you okay? You're pale and, oh my god, Your neck! Its bleeding!"
Speaker tries to help but listener denies the help, Claiming that their fine
Speaker: "don't bullshit me here, little Eastling, its clear you're not okay, here. I'll put the cloth on your neck to stop the blood, like this"
speaker then presses a cloth to the side of listeners neck to stop the blood, Listener gets a little nervous and turns slightly red, speaker notices and chuckles.
Speaker: "supposed it worked slightly, when the colour has returned to your cheeks, more vibrant than usual must I say"
listener turns their face away, embarrassed, but Speaker quickly pulls it back
Speaker: "ah ah ah, no, look at me, I'm trying to help you, and I can't if you're turning away"
listener keeps still and listens to Speaker, doing as told, Speaker then gets out some bandages and plasters, applying the plasters, then unravelling the bandage
Speaker: "I'm going to wrap this bandage around your neck, please, for the love if God, tell me if it's too tight, I don't want to hurt you more than you already are"
listener looks up at Speaker, thankful, yet embarrassed, they then suddenly ask Speaker a question
Speaker: "why am I helping you? Well, as much as I like to see you suffering and in pain..."
listener hits Speaker after they say that
Speaker: "hey, no need to get physical, you didn't even let me finish{chuckle}"
listener then let's Speaker keep talking
Speaker: "like I was saying, as much as I love to see you suffering and in pain, I also like to see you smiling and alright"
listener turns more pink after the Speaker says that
Speaker: "awwww, look at you, so cute when you blush like that, was that my fault?"
speaker has a little chuckle and looks at listener, whos playfully pouting at them, Speaker smiles
Speaker: "come on then, Cutie. Let's get you some proper treatment, since, clearly, I'm not a doctor"
the both of them chuckle as they walk away, and the audio ends

** Plot Twists, Red Herrings, and the Art of Keeping Readers on Their Toes**
My friends, we have arrived at the heart of a truly gripping story - the twists, the turns, the mind-bending surprises that keep those precious pages turning. A skillful plot will keep your readers guessing until the very end, begging to know what happens next.
Commandment #21: Play Fair (But Play Dirty)
There's nothing worse than a twist that comes completely out of left field. It feels cheap and cheats the reader. Plant clues throughout, breadcrumbs leading to the surprise, even if they don't seem obvious at first. Reward your readers for paying attention.
Commandment #22: Misdirection Is Your Best Friend
The red herring, the unreliable narrator, the seemingly insignificant detail – these are the tools of suspense. Lead your reader down a path, make them certain of the outcome, then yank the rug right out from under them. But remember, play fair! (see Commandment #21).
Commandment #23: The Shock Factor Isn't Everything
Yes, we all love a jaw-dropping twist. But smaller, more subtle surprises throughout your story maintain tension and give readers that delicious feeling of anticipation. Even a simple change in setting, a shift in tone, or a new character reveal can keep the emotional stakes high and propel the story forward.
Commandment #24: Don't Be Afraid to Scrap (and Pivot, and Try Again)
Sometimes even the most brilliant plot twist ends up feeling forced. If it's not working, don't force it. You might discover a completely different, even better, path for your story. Flexibility is your friend, especially when dealing with the unpredictability of plot.
Commandment #25: Surprise Yourself First
If you can see your twist coming a mile away, your reader certainly will. Force yourself to think outside the box. Imagine the most unexpected outcome, then work backward – how would you get there? This often leads to the most original and satisfying plot twists.
Revision: The Sculpting Knife of a Good Story
You've survived the first draft and wrestled your plot into submission. Congratulations, the fun really starts now! Revision is where you transform your raw lump of clay into a masterpiece.
Commandment #26: Let It Rest (Then Read It with Fresh Eyes)
Step away from your manuscript for a while – a week, a month, if you're lucky. When you come back to it, you'll be surprised at the glaring errors, the clunky prose, and the genius ideas that spring to mind. Distance lets you see your work with the ruthless objectivity necessary for the next stage.
Commandment #27: Find Your Tribe of Trusted Readers
Beta readers are your lifeline. Find a few people whose judgment you trust and whose opinions don't sugarcoat the truth. Seek diverse viewpoints to spot issues or blind spots you may have missed.
Commandment #28: Know Which Feedback to Take (And Which to Ignore)
Not all feedback is created equal. Consider the source, their intent, and their understanding of your genre. Take what resonates, discard what doesn't. Ultimately, trust your gut about your story – you're the visionary.
Commandment #29: Revise Until It Hurts (Then One More Time)
Revision isn't about tweaking a few sentences; it's often about major surgery. Be ready to cut beloved scenes, rewrite entire chapters, and rethink character arcs. It's painful, but that's how the good stuff emerges.
Commandment #30: Don't Stop Until It Sings
There's no magic word count or number of revisions. You'll just know when a story is ready. It will have a hum, a resonance, a sense of rightness to it. Don't settle for anything less.

(F24) Some bg: I live with my boyfriend and in-laws. I love them, they’re a great family and I fully intend on marrying my bf. He knows I hate children, and on our first date we discussed it. I’ve had several nervous breakdowns where I imagine him changing his mind on me(been together almost 3 years), and he’s talked me through it, promising me that he is fulfilled with having me in his life. Now, I know he respects me, I feel it. I think he understands why I am like I am. My grandma, for example, did NOT want many children but ended up with five. “God will decide how many” my grandpa told her. This explains why my grandma was never that involved with us, and I absolutely do not resent her. I actually really admire and respect her (she passed around 2009).
I was made to be a little therapist for my mother and her issues with my problematic older sister, to the point where I, as a young child would wonder why my mom couldn’t just force my sister to go to therapy. “she doesnt want to” well no shit, but your’e the adult???? I also have a memory of my mother crying in her studio when I was around 12, we were home alone and she told me “I wish I hadn’t given up my career to have kids. You should wait” Wow thanks mom! I love knowing im a source of pain for you 💕 Not going to give mental problems later on (I’ve had major depressive disorder for 12 years now). I even remember demoting Ariel from my favourite princess when she became a mom in the second movie because I thought it immediately made her lame as fuck 😭🤧
Anyways.
Our neighbours have 4 kids. I have NEVER seen their parents, but they always play outside on OUR LAWN. My in-laws are very sweet people, I can tell they get a bit annoyed, but they like kids, and they don’t want to discourage children from being outside instead of on the internet. I agree with this, and even though they fuck up the grass playing soccer, its not really MY house and I, personally am not expected to maintain the lawn, so idgaf.
I even feel a little bad for them. Last halloween, they looked extremely bored. My MIL and I went out to decorate the lawn, and all of them crossed over to ask if they could help us with the decorations. My initial reaction (in my head) is 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. But even though I dislike children, I am not mean to them and I don’t let it show. How will you say no in from of your MIL without looking like an evil witch? They helped us. I ended up hanging out AND supervising (parents nowhere to be found, knives, etc around us (they ended up carving the pumpkins my MIL bought for us to carve) with these 4 kids for around 3 hours. In my mind, I was like “this us my good deed for the year” LMAO.
Anyways. Back to the lawn issue. They play soccer and often kick the ball into the backyard. Now, I’m not a fucking witch and understand that it happens, but they got into the habit of playing on the lawn while waiting for the school bus in the morning. Whenever they kick the ball into the yard, they obviously panic since the bus is coming and proceed to bang and kick on the front door while clicking the door bell 7000009 times. I put up with it around 10 times, until one day, I told my bf that we should just pop the ball and tell them our dog got to it first. Sorry! Happens! He originally laughed and said “Yeah we should” The next day it happened again. “Can I pop the ball?”
“You cant just pop their ball, baby, its kind of mean”
I went on to talk about how when I was little I wouldn’t even think of ringing the bell to a house in the morning because my parents would’ve been pissed at me. My parents were actually very strict with me growing up which I guess solidified my CF status as I now have 0 tolerance for misbehaviour. Other things I’d like to point out is that they are aware that we have a dog, and enjoy pissing him the fuck off by banging on the window to get his attention. So we’ve gotten a beautiful dog loosing his shit wake up alarm along the doorbell, rung as if someone is desperately trying to run away from a serial killer by seeking asylum in the house, but no, its just kids wanting their stupid ass ball back before they get picked up for school.
When I told my bf that they cant just keep doing that because its FUCKING RUDE, he said:
“I think you’re just a little intolerant of children, babe” NO SHIT??? I HATE KIDS DUDE!!! Then he said something that really pissed me off.
“How would you feel if our dog was poisoned by a neighbour because its barking uncontrollably. It’s not a correct reaction.”
FIRST OF ALL: MY DOG IS NOT ALLOWED TO BARK UNCONTROLLABLY. I HAVE TRAINED IT TO NOT DO THAT BECAUSE I HATE CONFRONTATION. If kids are coming to terrorize him in HIS OWN PORCH, I am not going to yell at him for that. But that’s irrelevant. Whenever my dog is out on the yard, there is NO BARKING UNCONTROLLABLY because its annoying as fuck at ANY time of day and I ACTUALLY CONSIDER my neighbours.
Second. how the fuck is that equivalent to the situation?
“Are you serious???? You’re comparing someone KILLING my animal to me popping a fucking soccer ball that’s worth no more than $20????????????? And how dare you fucking say something like that when I literally BABYSAT THEM ON HALLOWEEN. I have been NOTHING but nice to them”
I even stop smoking on my porch if they come out out of consideration even though I LIVE HERE, not them.
We actually had a bit of fight over it but then he apologized to me over the comparison. “Yeah, I guess it’s not the same, sorry, I just couldn’t think of something else to compare it to, but you cant just pop the ball without at least trying to talk to them first”
Tbh in my mind, tough world. Not every stranger is going to be nice about teaching random kids a lesson. Its not my responsibility to play mombie to some RANDOM ASS kids. but then I started feeling like an evil witch. It does make more sense to talk to them first.
the argument and convo ended with me apologizing to him. “you’re right. I’m sorry for saying this.” And I do feel ashamed of suggesting to pop their ball. I guess my real bone is with the parents, but I cant help the fact that I hate children. I decided from now on that any comment on the kids its over. But will I also refuse to interact with them beyond a greeting. I am nobody’s free babysitter EVER AGAIN.

It was late November 2015. I was 51 and one year past my divorce (which was not related to cheating) when I became so disgusted with myself that I knew I had to pick myself up. I was alone for the long holiday, and although I wasn't really sad or lonely, I felt empty. However, I had some extra time to consider how does one picks oneself up.
I made a list of potential New Year resolutions that were individually realistic. Some were really easy and stupid like “have your chipped front tooth fixed” and “take & post a selfie”. These smaller tasks fueled my confidence and provided the energy boosts needed to tackle the more challenging resolutions, like starting a weight loss challenge at work.
Skip ahead to March 4th 2016. I had a Friday lunch date with a married client that I met two weeks prior. Of course, it was not a real date, as I wouldn't impose myself on a married woman, nor would I risk my career or my ego, especially if the signals she seemed to be sending were just a product of my wishful thinking, stimulated by checking off some boxes on the list on the fridge dated 1/1/16.
The following is my thank you note to her for a great date as well as for helping me check a lot of boxes over the past few weeks. I sent her a link to it as it is in the form of my first ever online post (one more check box, YAY!).
************************************** We were only 1 minute in the hotel room; her jeans in a ball on the floor. She sat at the foot of the king sized bed and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard. I followed as If attached by a leash. I landed somewhat awkwardly on my elbows between her legs finding myself squarely face to face with the tattoo. This tattoo, that she so shamelessly revealed just a week ago, the same tattoo that has been scorching my thoughts and the same tattoo that she promised me complete and unlimited access.
It’s been a long time since I have been here or anywhere near as nice as here, between the legs of a beautiful woman 20 years younger and far out of my league....even when I was her age. I took a second to drink in my fortunate situation. I admired her panties. All day I was so hoping she would wear those same panties as before. She didn’t. These were different but similar enough. The delicate lace and silk perfectly framed the tattoo on her hip. She did not disappoint. There is a fruity jasmine scent, intoxicatingly pleasant, and oh so subtle. It is not here. I’ll need to find its source. I want more of that. (I remember being thoroughly impressed and thinking to myself “This girl is good”.)
I briefly forgot that there was someone else here besides myself and the tattoo. How long have I been down here perving out on her? I wondered. I hesitated, and then apologetically looked up half expecting a well-deserved snarky glare. What I found instead was an ear to ear compassionate smile followed by a tilt of her head and an arch of her eyebrow that said “I like that you like that, carry on”.
With confidence restored that we were still in sync, I adjusted myself so that I was in a good position to thoroughly enjoy what I came to do. I kissed the tattoo hard and gave it a good lick. The challenge for today was “Taste the Tattoo” and I won. I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to. I continued to kiss and taste all around until every freckle got some personal attention. As I got to the upper most reaches of her inner thighs, I looked up to check in as I was about to cross a new line. For the first time she was not looking back at me but had laid her head back deep into the pillows, her eyes closed. I took that as a yes!
I marveled at the softness of her inner thighs on my cheeks as I gently placed kisses up one and down the other. As I kissed her through her panties, her hips responded by arching her up in anticipation of each next kiss. Before long, those wonderful panties were just getting in the way. I stopped and pondered whether to just slide them aside or remove them or to risk interrupting the mood and attempt a complete wardrobe removal as we were both still fully dressed except for her jeans.
I didn’t have to ponder long as she knew what she wanted and it was not any of the options I was considering. Still lying back with her head semi submerged within the pillows, she held out her arms as if gesturing for a hug. I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss.
Unbelievably, this was our first kiss. I found it odd that we had not kissed yet and was grateful she thought to stop for a moment to have a kiss. We kissed some and then I settled in to thoroughly enjoy it. However, the kiss to come was not the kiss I was expecting or a kiss I was ready for. It was a kiss that could ruin everything.
Technically, there was one kiss before. It was an awkward kiss 5-10 minutes earlier just after we entered the room. All in about the time it took for the hotel door to close behind us, she tossed her bag on the sofa, had her jewelry off and set on the nightstand while I emptied my pockets and silenced my phone.
We approached each other, and as we met I was looking at the place where the tattoo would be under her shirt and behind her jeans. They were higher cut and could not be pulled down that far to get to the tattoo. They would have to come off. To just reach in and do that would be an uncharacteristically bold move for me. But I did have unquestionable permission to have the tattoo in any way that I desired. I reached down with both hands and took hold of the waistband on each side of the button. I didn’t see her simultaneous move in at me at first. Just as I felt the metal of the button, I felt her reaching her arms around my neck and realized that she was tip toeing up for a kiss. It caught me unexpectedly and I think it showed on my face that it did. I tried to recover and moved back in to accept her lips on to mine but it turned into an awkward peck.
I scolded myself for the selfish moment and just as I was trying to formulate a recovery gesture, she, without missing a beat, gently dismissed my fumble and gracefully restored the momentum. “Oh” she said with surprise in her tone, while looking down at my fingers ready to release her button. Then, in a more playfully quizzical tone, she followed with “I guess you want to get right to THAT then” and she stepped back away from me where I lost grip of her jeans. She replaced my fingers on the button with hers, paused, maybe waiting for me to look up to her eyes, which I finally did, then flashed me a devilishly naughty smile and pulled her jeans down to the top of her boots. She then proudly announced, mostly to herself, “You really are going to let me have fun with you, aren’t you!” seemingly shedding any doubts in her mind that I would go through with this. She then sat at the foot of the all white linen king sized bed, removed her boots and jeans and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard.
Back to our kiss. The kiss that from now on I will reflect on as our first kiss
Responding to her hug gesture, I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t flub it this time, but again, I didn’t know it was coming, and prolly I should have. It took only ten seconds to adjust and synchronize to each other’s kissing form. It was warm and succulent and sweet and was wonderful. I really was surprised at how nice this felt. I don’t recall married kissing being this enjoyable. I remember saying to myself “Damn, this girl can kiss”.
I was on top, in a position that wasn’t going to be comfortable for as long as I wanted this to last, so I backed away to reposition but she held tight indicating she didn’t want me to move. I gestured at the space next to her and she relented. We then settled in facing one another side by side; her smile confirming that this was a nice place. We were hugging and kissing, pulling each other closer and looking into each other’s eyes. Our legs intertwined and our hands were roaming, but not really in a sexual way, more like trying to make as much body contact as possible. I couldn’t get over how I felt so much more familiarity than there was. What I did not recognize at the time was that this was the physical intimacy catching up to match the virtual intimacy we have been sharing online.
Soon the intensity escalated and it was getting very hot very quickly. The intensity and passion that was building was not something I ever expected or planned for. This was the rare kind of making out where accidental hickeys happen and inadvertent “Oh god I love you’s” slip out. Not that either of those was going to happen but my safe, non-committal no emotional strings encounter was getting too hot to not risk introducing emotions into the situation. And that could happen.
At some point I was no longer kissing her lips and mouth but was kissing her.
I broke contact to catch a breath and maybe get some control of the fire. We stopped for a moment to breathe and cool off. She slid herself on top and I rolled over on to my back to accommodate her. She looked at me with eyes that appeared to agree that it was a good time to slow it down. She closed her eyes and she seemed to enjoy that I was rubbing her back with both hands that I slipped up under her shirt. She presented her lips for me to kiss and then her cheek for the same, then neck and ear and lips again. Her long hair had fallen down around us, surrounding our faces like a vail creating a tiny private and even more intimate space. Inside here it was darker and the temperature and humidity rose quickly. We were breathing each other’s breath between kisses. All of a sudden I noticed that Jasmine was back. Not subtle this time, but deep and fulfilling. I loved it.
This fragrance stuff really works. The next morning just after waking up, I caught an unexpected subtle whiff on my skin under my watch and my heart jumped by 20 beats. Who’d a thunk it possible?
The passion was building again but since I was aware and cautious now, I wanted to enjoy and go with it. I thought I could keep it measured and I did for a while as it does take two. The kissing slowed to half and so did the passion. However, the rest of our bodies started to make up for it and the touching evolved into the sexual. She was still on top of me and my hands were exploring and squeezing on her panty covered butt, then under and in those panties. Her body contact became more targeted as she was now very deliberately mashing her fun stuff all over my fun stuff. The kissing subsided but replaced with the audible accompaniment of her squeaks, moans and quicker breathing timed with her mashing I was no longer in control. The passion was under control but being replaced with something intimately erotic.
I abruptly escaped by gently rolling her over on to her back then getting up and knelling between her legs. I took a moment to catch my breath and wanted to say “That is getting WAY too intimate. Can we get naked and have sex now?” However, I tugged at her panties and said something dorky like “can we take these off now?” Yes, we were still both fully dressed except for her jeans
Since I am the kind of guy who doesn’t kiss and tell, (well, only tells about the kisses) and this is not the forum for it, I am not going to talk about the sexy part over the next 30 minutes. I will tell you that we did finally each get ourselves unceremoniously naked and then the sexy part finishes where it started, with me finishing all over that beautiful tattoo. Of course I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to.
*************************************************
Cuddle time. Our snapchats leading up to this encounter were heavy on the anticipation and buildup but didn’t contain a lot of detail about or define what stuff would happen during our “fun” time together.
Me: “Ok then, tomorrow lunchtime, I’m in.”
Her: “OMG Are you saying that you are REALLY going to come here and let me have fun with you?
Me: “I’m REALLY going to come there. I am REALLY going to fully inspect that tattoo, as well as the neighborhood where the tattoo lives.
Her: “I so can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Me: “WOW….Now that this is real and going to happen, my heart is beating so hard that I am afraid that people can see it through my shirt.”
Her: “You have to tell me, are you being SERIOUS right now? You can’t say this and not show up. It’s OK if you are teasing, but you have to say so that you are now….not tomorrow!!!”
Me: “I am SERIOUS and I PROMISE I will be there. You have gotten to me, BAD. All week with the way we have been talking..err..I mean snapchatting; I can’t get you out of my head. Then today with those tattoo snaps you sent; I can’t get up from my desk. LOL…..NOT kidding NOT teasing.”
Her: “I am BAD, and I like having FUN. I am going to have so much fun with you!!!”
************************************************
The only specific things I recall us acknowledging we would do with our “fun” was tattoo inspection and cuddle time. So as soon as cleanup from sexy time was done we both knew what time it was. For me, as good as the inspection was the cuddle was better. Just as during the sexy time we changed things up and we got to cuddle many ways. We started face to face full contact hugging just like our kissing time with some but less kissing and more being in the moment.
We were still hot (temperature hot now) and sweaty so that didn’t last long. She turned over and we spooned some. I was still craving full body contact but it was still so hot that we had to separate a bit. No contact spooning if you will, with just my one hand caressing her exposed shoulder and arm and hip with an occasional butt cheek squeeze.
It was about that time that we had our first ever personal conversation. On the project there were lots of flirty banter and some personal stories but almost always as part of a group. We had many phone calls and a few project meetings with just us two but never did the conversation get personal. Until now the only personal talks (Chats) we have had have been via Snapchat. I don’t recall who asked the first question of the other, but it was like a dam broke and we started filling in the details of our lives, our feelings and all the things we chatted about.
There was a lot to tell and we were giddy like children (child) best friends re-meeting on the first day of school catching each other up on our summer vacations. At one point she had something compelling to say and faster than a fish out of water she flipped back to facing me so she could gesture with her hand and punctuate through her expression. She landed close. Closer that I think she meant to at first and just a bit awkward I felt. But I was wrong. She didn’t back up an inch. I really couldn’t see her hand but I could feel that she was using it in the 2 to 4 inches of space between our chests. Her face was right into mine. She would lean back or up just an inch when she wanted me to see her eyes or smile or frown for emphasis, then settle back into the pillows with our foreheads or noses or cheeks touching. It was the farthest thing in the world from awkward.
If there was a recurring theme for the day it would be HOT; in every sense and synonym of the word. Again, it was getting too sweaty to remain that close. This time she broke contact to catch a breath and escape the heat. We stopped talking for a moment to breathe and cool off. She sat up, crawled to, and grabbed the (sexy time) clean-up towel that was at the far foot of the bed. She turned around so that she was kneeling facing me as she brought the towel up to her chest to absorb the beads and drips of sweat that had accumulated. As I watched, I again thought of my great fortune to be right here right now feeing what I feel and seeing the beauty before me. She pushed the towel down across her belly button and it fell into her lap.
I observed the soft sunlight reflecting off the white sheets, the white towel, and the white pillows bathed her in perfect light creating just a hint of subtle shadows in all of the right places on her angelic white skin. I started consciously taking photos with my mind. I wanted to capture every nuance and note every detail. I don’t know if I will ever be here again.
I don't recall if my next realization was comprehended in a split second, or if it took ten seconds to develop, but a terrible fear washed over me that for the first time in forever, she was beyond my touch and her next action might be to look for her panties or go jump in the shower. We were after all, deep into the second hour of her hour long lunch.
As I was preparing myself for the pain soon to come, I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I had the BEST DAY EVER, but I felt like an exhausted child who just watched the Disney fireworks finally and knows what that means.
What the hell? What is happening in my head? I don't even know this girl, let alone have feelings for her beyond she made my dick feel good at lunchtime.....and, I guess my ego is healthier since I met her. I have not cheated on my diet since she turned on the flattery the week before. I was sure it had to be somehow manipulative, but I hoped that if only a 5% chance it wasn't AND she liked me AND her mom was single, made it easy to keep my snacking to peas & carrots.
My self esteem has been skyrocketing too, as I have been checking a lot of boxes on my refrigerator. LOL, so many in fact, that I have been adding things to the list after they happened that I didn't dare put on it as they seemed pretty unobtainable just two months before. "Get sent a nude selfie, check. Have the confidence to send one back, check. Take a hottie 32 year old client out to lunch and fuck her brains out, check.
Did I just discover that I like girls who make my self esteem feel good more than I like girls who make my dick feel good?
Shit, that wasn't even on my top ten list. Smart, funny, pretty, Kind, whatever is the opposite of bitchy, fun in bed, boobs and/or an age appropriate figure is always nice, curious, someone you can trust to see you at your worst. Before today, "genuinely being a boost & support of my self esteem" was 10th.
Then BAM. I was hit in the face with the towel. Damn girl, I hope you can handle a spanking because I was just on the verge of making an interpersonal discovery of some importance over here, I thought to myself. I noticed the slightest or possibly mock look of concern on her face as she asks "you're not having any regrets or second thoughts over there are you?". I reflexively replied "Oh god no". Then with some emphasys, I continued "today was incredible. I REALLY needed this and you were PERFECT, thank you".
Again she did not disappoint. She crawled to the top of the bed on the far side and then to me over the pillows and laid down at a 90 angle to me on her stomach parallel to the headboard with her head nearly right on top of mine. She propped herself up a bit on her elbows and we kissed deeply. It was nice.
I made a few attempts to shake my internal drama, get out of my head and get back to my goal of picking my self up after my divorce. Oops, I mean back to pleasing a beautiful woman who clearly was not yet done having her fun with me. The emotional rollercoaster ride over the last hours, days & weeks completely blew out my brains ability to generate or absorb endorphins or whatever happens in a situation like this. Shortly after we had joked around while showering together, kissing goodbye (just like when I kissed my endorphin killing ex wife) and going on back to our separate lives.
I drove the hour or so home, brought my dog to the park and had healthiest and happiest cry I ever had. I don't know what I was feeling or why, but I was feeling again and it brought me much relief and contentedness.
We texted a bit that evening confirming that we each enjoyed our time together and agreeing that we should do that again sometime. The next day, Saturday, her husband took their 5 & 8 year old sons somewhere for the day. We checked in with each other again over text and chatted some about our lunch but the spark or excitement we usually had was not the same.
I reached out again that evening and asked if she was in a place that we could talk on the phone. She resisted but did call me (our first personal phone call). It took her 24 hours to let her cry bubble up. It turns out that our emotional experiences were remarkably similar, albeit from different perspectives.
She much later reveals that she felt emotionally dead for her hubby. She evolved to a bad place where she wanted fuck anyone but her hubby but still fucked him twice a week and had to appear happy to do it, killing her brain chemistry.
We rode the best and worst roller coaster in the world for 6 or 8 months....until the the Cocaine eventually wore off or the unobtainable became obtainable and it wasn't the the same rush for either of us any longer. She was the closest thing to a drug addiction that I ever felt. I never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted her.
My hope is that this story helps one person answer the question "Why the hell would he/she risk giving up their wonderful & loving family for an hour with a douchebag or a skank?"

I’ve been getting these bad chest pains different places center or left I feel like bad bad heartburn sometimes in the center slightly to the lower left where you’d think your heart is or pressure/achy feeling in the center upper chest or between my breast sometimes rarely pain in my far left breast or right or under my left breast….or rib cage on left anyways feels dull sharp stabbing pressure achy depends comes on suddenly or when I’m really stressed or angry … help anyone is this anxiety I saw a cardiologist and they cleared me but I can’t believe it’s anxiety

I’ve been getting these bad chest pains different places center or left I feel like bad bad heartburn sometimes in the center slightly to the lower left where you’d think your heart is or pressure/achy feeling in the center upper chest or between my breast sometimes rarely pain in my far left breast or right or under my left breast….or rib cage on left anyways feels dull sharp stabbing pressure achy depends comes on suddenly or when I’m really stressed or angry … help anyone is this anxiety I saw a cardiologist and they cleared me but I can’t believe it’s anxiety also I’m 7 m pp

I don't know where I'm going I don't know where I've been I'm running in circles I don't know where to begin
I just want to tell my story And say I'm sorry I can't figure this out I just want to scream and shout
My life is backwards My world is upside down I'm tripping on my own feet I feel like such a clown
My heart aches I feel so turned around Nothing seems right anymore Everything's just sound
What have I become? I used to think I was limitless What have I done? I just feel like I'm full of piss
How do I express myself How do I become me Nothing I do seems right I just can't seem to see
I just want to quit I feel so stuck Yet I can't even do that I've come to realize I really suck
I feel like I hit rock bottom I don't think I can do this anymore Life is so surreal I just want to close the door
The world is full of pain Misery and anguish Why should I stay here Why should I languish
I just need a good reason To just tell myself How sorry I am And put the book back on the shelf
I wanted to write a whole book And I can't even finish this chapter I'm just so tired All I hear is chatter
I feel so low So lost and in between I just want me back So I can feel like a king
I can't do that until I tell myself I'm sorry I can't even do that I can't finish the story
I used to look at the stars I'd revel in their shine Now all I do Is cry and whine
I want the glory That life has to offer But how do I get that? Without a coffer
Life is hard Full of pain It runs on money That's all there is to gain
Who really cares About the next person No one I know It's all about the lesson
So how do I do it Figure out what I've become How do I say I'm sorry So it's all said and done
Who am I When in myself I can't trust What happened to me Thought I was made of stardust

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I am going to apologize ahead of time this is going to be a long post because there is a lot to unpack.
So I (25m) got dumped by my ex (24f) a year ago now. Our relationship had its ups and downs over the 6 years we were together, but that didn’t change how much we loved each other.
Our relationship slowly started to go downhill after my mother passed away in 2018. I lost myself completely, I was a shell of person that I once was. The years following my mothers passing I had lost my job and became completely withdrawn. Since I didn’t have a job I also couldn’t pay my half of the rent and I refused to get a job because I barely wanted to be on this earth. I didn’t reach out to my friends or family. My ex was pretty much the only person I would talk to. But around Covid time I got really bad. I spiraled into the worst depression I’ve experienced in my 25 years on this earth. I would stay up until 9 or 10 am and sleep until around midnight. I stopped talking to my ex almost completely and we stopped hanging out. About 4 or 5 months before my ex dumped me I was severely suicidal. I would leave the house and walk around town in the middle of the night. Mind you I wouldn’t tell my ex where or what I was doing but I think she knew. I would find myself at the bridge we lived near almost every night contemplating jumping but I never did. Side note I was smoking A LOT of weed at this point that she was paying for most of the time. But then the day came.
I was sitting at home while she was at work and I got a text. It said “we need to talk”. She wanted to talk when she got home but I pushed her to just tell me. Then she said she couldn’t do this anymore. My entire world came crashing down. I never thought she would say those words. Later when she got home I did the typical begging. The only thing I really remember from that was her telling me she didn’t love me anymore. I started packing my things the next few days and moved into my friends house.
In the months that followed I had gotten a job and started to really work on my mental health. Somehow my ex and I started talking again and hanging out again. It was looking pretty good for us. I was spending some nights with her and she was looking at me how she used to again. Then out of the blue she cut it off again. Saying something along the lines of “I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now” adding that we could still be friends.
From then until now I have been paying her back the 20 grand that I owed her and we had been off and on friends for awhile. Mainly because I would tell her I couldn’t be friends with her (because I still loved her) and to not text me unless it was about money or if she wanted to try again. She would then text me a week or month later asking me how I’m doing. My dumbass would think she wanted to get back together because she texted me. It always ended up her just wanting to be friends. Until a couple weeks ago when I laid it all out and set the boundaries firm. She got upset with me and a little rude tbh. Still don’t understand that.
Throughout the break up though she said she still loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. She would say she still cared about me which her actions showed she did. I asked her the one day if there was any hope we could get back together which she responded with “in the future maybe we can but not right now”. From the times we hung out after the break up I could tell she was still attracted to me. Our conversations were pretty damn good and it seemed like the spark may still have been there.
So I have a couple of questions. Do you think there is any chance we can be together again? If so what can I do that may help in doing so? If not how can I recover from absolutely fucking up our relationship and losing my soulmate (this girl was truly the one for me)? Was I right to not want to be friends with her or was that her way of rekindling our relationship? Is this even salvageable after the damage I have done? It has been a year and I’m still not over her and I just want the pain to go away.

My cute dog (American Cocker Spaniel) will pass soon. He already had a bad start when he was still with his mom (inexperienced breeder). He spend the first few weeks in the hospital. Some of his brothers and sisters didn’t make it, but he did. When we had our first check up the vet told us that his lungs are not in a very good shape. The rest of his body was fine with the exception of his teeth which were close together and had some plague already.
During the years we encountered some problems. After weeks of searching what is happening we found he has an severe longterm allergy for beef. We eliminated everything which contains beef, they are everywhere even in Salmon Biscuits… after the elimination it went ok and we even got a second dog.
Everything was going well. He had some problems with teeth (bad shape, due to bad start and medicine there) and his temper like food protection or barking at cars / bikes, but it was fine and he got a good checkup every year including titer tests which were always ok. His health started to decline in the summer of 2023. He started limping on his front feed and was eating worse. We also noticed 2-3 weird spots on his skin which seems like hotspots. The vet told he was a bit heavy, he had a stiff neck and his intestines were a bit puzzled. A few sessions of acupuncture, good washing and balanced diet could help him, and it did help him for a few weeks.
In the winter his health suddenly declined and the weird spots on his skin increased and expanded over his entire body with crusts. He was losing a lot of hair. After a few vet visits, some medicine and some tests we discovered that he was highly allergy for almost everything you could imagine. This was a big message for me and my wife as it would mean we should change in the house a lot while we also have a other dog who lived the same life in perfect health. We switched to special hypoallergenic dog food of Hills so he does not react on that food and keep the other dog on his current food. We had to lock both pets apart and clean up where the other pet and also where we ate so he can’t get any other food in his stomach.
This worked for a few weeks. He remained happy when someone is home, we went to the forest or beach regularly and if I leave the house I always wants to be back as soon as possible to see my family again. I mainly work from home, so the two pets are always around and I have a deep emotional connection with them.
Unfortunately, the spots came back rapidly and he was shaking a lot. His teeth’s were also declining rapidly and his movement worsened that he could jump on the couch anymore and the stairs are done step for each step. We shifted from dexamethasone to Prednisone to see any difference, but recently we came to the conclusion that this and other treatments are not giving the results we and the vet wants. I was still looking for possible solutions, but my wife (had dogs in the past) and vet intervened that he is sick and everything we are doing could at the best only suppress symptoms, we were not making him better. The vet said we were doing everything right on food, health etc. But basically his immune system is failing and not doing what it is supposed to do.
This week we decided to put him down. He will get his final rest next Saturday, on his fifth birthday. I’m devastated and keep crying that it is going to happen. Never had a pet during my youth and I’m just worried about the gap of the unconditional love he will leave. I’m also worried about my second dog who never has been alone and plays a lot with him and what this change will do with him.
While I’m writing this, my dog is sitting next to me and shaking, but he has a lot of moments where it all looks good (with exception of the skin/fur) and he seems enjoying life now. I find it very difficult he is passing at such a young age and weird thoughts are going through my mind if i could have prevented this, do things differently or anything to expand his time here with us. I feel defeated that I couldn’t help him anymore. During the good times I keep on thinking to call off the euthanasia, but then what… wait until he has a very bad or very painful day?
No matter what, I love him and keep carrying the awesome memories and the times he dragged me and my wife through really hard times in my heart. But the grief that he will be gone soon…This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my life…

Story: I 23F Met 25M on a app n dated for 3months. Im pro for a govt exam meanwhile he works as software engineer.
Everything was good he is a good person ,kind, empathetic n caring.Dates are wonderful, romance is on point we are happy and love each other alot.
Reason: From the beginning I know tht He is naive n didn't understand few things about dating ,so I waited patiently for him to learn himself how to talk n date women. He says he never dated before and iam his first relationship.
We talked alot n share similar views in many things, he is a very good person so i liked him alot (still do) as a person.
But The biggest problem is spending time. he is always busy n never makes time except for one day -weekend when we meet for a date. He is like this since the day 1 i thought may be we r still in getting to know phase let it be but even now when we r in a relationship he is still same. Every night I wait for his msg as he will be free during night but he either watches a movie,go out to eat with roommates at midnight or falls asleep in btw texting. Whenever I ask he says he can't text if PPL r around he wants to spend time with them.
We barely text on weekdays n only spend time in weekend for one day. He don't have any other girl in his life I saw his socials (to think he is spending his time with someone)so clearly no cheating.
I constantly hated this feeling of waiting for him everyday so I stopped n started to do something else at nyt instead of waiting but this only got us apart and ntg changed. He is fine with this but I hate spending very little time with my bf.
I wanted a relationship where i could spend time n connect emotionally to my partner which seems not happening in our relationship.i thought it is just 3months let's wait but it keep getting worse n he is taking me for granted n unbothered about spending less time as we r official now.
I tried to break-up twice communicating about this issue but he promised he will make time n he do it for two days later back to his old self.
Idk I loved him alot n but this thing is bothering me alot we both live in same city just 18kms apart yet it feels like we r in some long distance relationship with time zone difference.
So I told him how I want to end this time for sure n he says wait till ur exam n later we can do tht (he believes it will effect my preparation and also can convince me again so I won't leave)
Yesterday I was fed up with this n it has impacting me mentally i feel so much pain over this repeated behaviour n tired of asking him to spend time so I send him a msg wishing him best n blocked him everywhere.
But idk if I did right thing by blocking instead of mutually ending things by discussing? ( Bec he never let me end as he convince me everytime he will do better n I fall for it) So I want to leave on my own without hearing anything from other side.
But deep inside I know he is a green flag and very empathetic person yet in our relationship he is not doing enough.🥹n im tired of feeling like one sided.🥲

i(19f) matched w a guy(21m) on bumble. we’ve been talking for more than a month now. things were going great. we used to talk all day, he used to call, tell me about his day, we went out for four times. in general it was great. i thought we’re gonna start dating soon.
so here strikes the problem, he has many childhood traumas and his three years of relation ended just four months ago but i’m not really worried about it as it was a really toxic one(he told me everything about it). so for the past few days he was going through some tough time bc of some family issues (which he told me about) and he was really down was taking sleeping pills cause he couldn’t sleep. we last met on last friday he took me out for ice cream and it was really nice. on friday night we were texting and he was sounding off all of a sudden i mean he was giving me cold shoulder but i didn’t mind just thought he wasn’t feeling like talking. on saturday morning i texted him good morning and he said “let’s stop talking for a few days” and this text literally made me panic(okay so i have this fear of abandonment, i always feel like everyones gonna leave me and he knows about it kinda) and i called him. he was sounding like an ai on the call. i asked him what’s wrong and he said he just doesn’t feel like using his phone anymore i told him that he doesn’t have to text me all day just a few texts will be enough and he said okay and we cut the call. but as a overthinker i asked again on text about what’s wrong and he said he find it painful to give time, he doesn’t feel like talking w someone all the time. now this “painful” word broke me like i got so hurt i mean why did he say he won’t leave or we’re not gonna stop talking when he knew he can’t stick around for too long? and how can you find it painful to talk w someone you like?(he said he liked me) so i told him when he knew that he can’t handle it so he shouldn’t have taken it any further and told him we should stop talking. he just said “okay” and i left him on seen. and he didn’t text again and i don’t think he will as i left him on seen but we’re still doing streaks on snapchat. i’ve been crying for the last 4days and i miss him like hell. i really really liked him yk. so what should i do now? is it over between us now? should i text him or give him some more time? i don’t wanna sound or act desperate cause what if he already started talking w someone else or he never really liked me? also his ex was the one who didn’t let him breakup, she was desperate and kept coming back to him again and again so i also don’t wanna be like his ex. but also i feel like if i don’t even try once to make it right i’ll regret it. is texting him again gonna make me self respect less? what do i do now?

i(19f) matched w a guy(21m) on bumble. we’ve been talking for more than a month now. things were going great. we used to talk all day, he used to call, tell me about his day, we went out for four times. in general it was great. i thought we’re gonna start dating soon. so here strikes the problem, he has many childhood traumas and his three years of relation ended just four months ago but i’m not really worried about it as it was a really toxic one(he told me everything about it). so for the past few days he was going through some tough time bc of some family issues (which he told me about) and he was really down was taking sleeping pills cause he couldn’t sleep. we last met on last friday he took me out for ice cream and it was really nice. on friday night we were texting and he was sounding off all of a sudden i mean he was giving me cold shoulder but i didn’t mind just thought he wasn’t feeling like talking. on saturday morning i texted him good morning and he said “let’s stop talking for a few days” and this text literally made me panic(okay so i have this fear of abandonment, i always feel like everyones gonna leave me and he knows about it kinda) and i called him. he was sounding like an ai on the call. i asked him what’s wrong and he said he just doesn’t feel like using his phone anymore i told him that he doesn’t have to text me all day just a few texts will be enough and he said okay and we cut the call. but as a overthinker i asked again on text about what’s wrong and he said he find it painful to give time, he doesn’t feel like talking w someone all the time. now this “painful” word broke me like i got so hurt i mean why did he say he won’t leave or we’re not gonna stop talking when he knew he can’t stick around for too long? and how can you find it painful to talk w someone you like?(he said he liked me) so i told him when he knew that he can’t handle it so he shouldn’t have taken it any further and told him we should stop talking. he just said “okay” and i left him on seen. and he didn’t text again and i don’t think he will as i left him on seen but we’re still doing streaks on snapchat. i’ve been crying for the last 4days and i miss him like hell. i really really liked him yk. so what should i do now? is it over between us now? should i text him or give him some more time? i don’t wanna sound or act desperate cause what if he already started talking w someone else or he never really liked me? also his ex was the one who didn’t let him breakup, she was desperate and kept coming back to him again and again so i also don’t wanna be like his ex. but also i feel like if i don’t even try once to make it right i’ll regret it. is texting him again gonna make me self respect less? what do i do now?

Yes, anxiety and stress can cause chest pain. This type of chest pain is often referred to as non-cardiac chest pain and can mimic the symptoms of a heart attack. Here are some key points about anxiety- and stress-related chest pain:
How Anxiety and Stress Cause Chest Pain:
1. Muscle Tension:

• Anxiety and stress can cause the muscles in the chest to tighten, leading to pain or discomfort.

2. Hyperventilation:

• During periods of intense anxiety, you might breathe rapidly and shallowly (hyperventilation), which can lead to chest pain.

3. Increased Heart Rate:

• Anxiety can cause your heart rate to increase (tachycardia), which can sometimes be felt as chest pain.

4. Adrenaline Surge:

• Stress and anxiety trigger the release of adrenaline, which can cause the heart to beat faster and more forcefully, sometimes leading to pain or discomfort.

5. Gastrointestinal Issues:

• Anxiety can exacerbate conditions like acid reflux or esophageal spasms, both of which can cause chest pain.

Symptoms of Anxiety-Related Chest Pain

• The pain may be sharp, stabbing, or a persistent ache.
  
• It can be localized or spread across the chest.
  
• May occur at rest or during periods of high stress or anxiety.
  
• Often accompanied by other anxiety symptoms such as sweating, dizziness, shortness of breath, or a sense of impending doom.
  

Differentiating Anxiety Chest Pain from Heart Pain
While anxiety-related chest pain can mimic cardiac chest pain, there are some differences:
- Cardiac Chest Pain:

• Often described as pressure, tightness, or a squeezing sensation.
  
• May radiate to the arms, neck, jaw, or back.
  
• Can be accompanied by shortness of breath, nausea, or sweating.
  
• Usually triggered by physical exertion or stress and may last longer than a few minutes.
  

- Anxiety Chest Pain:

• May be more localized and sharp.
  
• Often occurs during periods of rest or sudden anxiety.
  
• Accompanied by other symptoms of anxiety such as rapid breathing, palpitations, and fear.
  

What to Do If You Experience Chest Pain
1. Don’t Ignore It:

• Always take chest pain seriously. If you're unsure whether it's anxiety or something more serious, seek medical attention immediately.

2. Calm Yourself:

• Try to relax and breathe slowly. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help.

3. Avoid Triggers:

• Identify and avoid anxiety triggers when possible.

4. Seek Professional Help:

• If anxiety and stress are causing frequent chest pain, consider speaking to a mental health professional. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication can be effective treatments for anxiety disorders.

5. Lifestyle Modifications:

• Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques can help reduce anxiety levels.

When to Seek Immediate Help

• If the chest pain is severe, lasts more than a few minutes, or is accompanied by symptoms such as shortness of breath, sweating, nausea, or pain radiating to other parts of the body, seek emergency medical attention immediately.

Chest pain, regardless of the cause, warrants attention to rule out serious conditions and to manage symptoms effectively.

this is kind of a long story, but I’m going to try to make it as quick and simple as I can. about 7 or so years ago, I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed because they were growing in sideways. fast forward a few years to 2020 when I was seeing a new dentist. the last molar on the top left had been so pushed and twisted by the way my wisdom teeth grew in, that it was almost impossible to reach while brushing my teeth, and it wasn’t even really a functional tooth anymore. they recommended that I have it extracted and were going to keep an eye on the other back teeth. so I had it pulled, everything was fine. after that, I really neglected going to the dentist. I moved to a new state, and just never bothered finding one near me (terrible, I know). now, at the beginning of this year, I started having some tooth pain on the lower right side of my mouth. I finally went to see a dentist, and I was expecting the worse: both because I hadn’t been in so long, but also because dental problems runs in my family. it turns out I had 4 cavities on the right side (the back 2 molars on the top and bottom) and gingivitis. they did a deep cleaning and prescribed me toothpaste and mouthwash for the gingivitis. I decided to have the last tooth on the bottom right extracted, because that had the same problem where it was impossible to reach during brushing and wasn’t a functional tooth. the other cavities were going to be filled after the extraction. I originally made an appointment with an oral surgeon a couple weeks out, but pretty quickly, the pain became so unbearable that I couldn’t take it anymore and had to schedule an emergency appointment. it was weird, because it seems like the pain got so much worse after the dentist appointment. anyway, the tooth was pulled at the end of march. everything healed fine. I go back to the dentist soon after, and the dentist tells me I need a gingivectomy on the top few right teeth. I got that done, and it was fine. I didn’t really have any pain. about a month ago, I had the remaining 3 cavities filled. my mouth had been sore afterward, so I’ve been taking ibuprofen for it. well, the last week or so, the pain has gotten a lot worse. while looking in my mouth, I found a bone spur on the bottom right. the oral surgeon is having me come in this week because they want to check it out. the last few nights, it’s been hard to sleep because the pain has been excruciating. taking a combo of ibuprofen and tylenols helps, but obviously that’s not a long term solution. like I said, I am seeing the oral surgeon this week and I have an an appointment with the normal dentist just to follow up. I plan on bringing this up at my appointment, but i wanted to get some advice from others. I’m really nervous about the pain and the fact that it got significantly worse after going to the dentist. it makes me wish that I hadn’t gone at all, because the mild tooth pain i was experiencing before was at least bearable. sorry for the super long post, but i’m looking for any advice on what to do

i just got my iud yesterday and it was very painful as expected but after i spent the rest of the day dealing with cramps I am back to normal. I only had cramping for like 8 hrs after and haven’t bled since it was inserted. Is that something to be concerned abt? I thought ppl cramp and bleed a lot after. I’m concerned it’s not in the right spot or something even though my OB did an ultrasound. Anyone else experience the same as me?