I took 80 mg adderall my first time

In February this year I visited my doctor to discuss my anxiety, low mood, lack of enjoyment and just general depressed feeling. Prior to this I had tried everything to improvement my mental health - mindfulness, improving my diet, exercise, losing weight, reading, talking - but I found myself in the same position over and over. Low and anxious. I just wanted to sleep all day.
I was prescribed 50mg daily of Sertraline. I was initially reluctant to start as I was scared of the side effects. I believe that’s quite a common feeling.
After a week, and a particularly stressful time at work, I took my first dose.
I barely slept that night. I had read that it might affect my sleep and realised I should’ve taken it in the morning to reduce any negative effect. After shifting to mornings my sleep went back to normal (not great, but I could at least sleep)
My side effects were limited. I began sweating a lot. Though I wasn’t particularly hot - which made it more inconvenient as I would just sweat buckets unknowingly.
I had maybe two or three waves of anxiety unlike anything I’d experienced in the past. These lasted anywhere from a second to an hour. But did pass.
I couldn’t orgasm. But this resolved after a few weeks.
I had no issues drinking alcohol. In fact I weirdly felt like I had a higher tolerance. Not sure if that was the tablets or just a higher than usual amount of social occasions attended.
I had bizarre dreams. But to be honest I quite enjoyed them.
The worst thing for me was my short term memory just went. I often struggled to remember names and work tasks. When reminded the memory would come rushing back like some long forgotten memory. I described this to the doctor as previously having a million thoughts rushing through my head almost kept things at the forefront. Now that voice was quieter but the constant reminders had gone with it. Strange.
I felt that my anxiety and social anxiety was massively reduced overall. But almost to the point when I was apathetic. I was freed to take on backlogs of work without the anxiety but honestly was not bothered about getting started or really the consequences of not completing work tasks.
I fell out of the habit of exercising. Exercising was a mental relief for me and I do generally enjoy it. But on sertraline I just didn’t feel motivated to do it. And I didn’t really care what the negative aspects of it were.
For the reason I took it upon myself to come off medication. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND DOING THIS WITHOUT MEDICAL GUIDNANCE. But I am an idiot so just cut down over to nothing over the course of a week.
I haven’t had any negative withdrawals. I’ve been able to just continue as usual. I am enjoying exercise again and feel my memory is back - but along with the racing thoughts.
I would say my experience overall was on the positive side. And I can see how medication can help vital to calming down that mental chatter for many people. But for me I wasn’t strong enough to continue to be motivated on medication.

I’ve been plagued by RLS since my first pregnancy 30 years ago. It’s gotten progressively and steadily worse to eventually include my whole body. It amps up a lot around my cycle. For 3 days now, it’s been gone. I don’t know if I’ve done something or if it’s going to come back. I take 1.5 mg of requip per day, starting when I feel the first quiver or 8:30 pm, whichever comes first. I assumed I’d have this forever. My friend’s mom is 80 and has to take methadone for it. I feared that would be me one day. I’m not getting my hopes up too high but it would be a life changer if it didn’t come back. I didn’t know what to put for the flair!

Applied for my son in December 2023. Things seemed to be moving a long quickly. Early April, I had the PERC phone interview. I have not been able to have a job for about a year now due to no childcare. I have been doing random tasks and opportunities online (swagbucks, freecash, etc), selling items on Ebay, donating plasma almost twice a week, every week, and other small things, to make ends meet. It's not an easy thing to document but I had everything written out and ready to explain/list for this interview. My case workerep didn't seem to care about being accurate at all. She didn't care about half of the income items, which I assumed was because they didn't count as income for SSI, but she wasn't interested in being thorough for the other stuff either. She kept classifying my online task work as 'online gambling' when there is no gambling involved and I kept correcting her. She got very pissy and short with me and kept saying "it's the same thing", when it most definitely is not and I don't want 'online gambling' on my paperwork.
Fast forward 3 weeks later, and I don't hear anything, when I was told to expect an award letter soon. I spend a week calling and leaving messages for her, and nothing. I showed up to the local office after that and although she was working from home that day, it took no time at all for her to call me as I was leaving the place. She said she couldn't 'read' the paperwork I dropped off and said she sent in a deposit request to my bank and it should take 2 days. 2 weeks later and multiple phone calls, I show up to the office again. I start to speak with a random person that called my number and my actual case worker pops in behind her and says 'I just need her to sign something". She tells me her mentor looked over the PERC paperwork and said it wasn't sufficient. So I get handed a piece of paper and told to fill it out with all of my income, going back to August 2023. This is exactly what I was trying to do from day 1 of this part of the process. Also, not sure why they need back to August now, when I filed in December, but I did it and filled the entire page with tiny handwriting, because that's what had to be done.
This rep has dragged this out unnecessarily and is obviously new or very bad at her job. If she would have been properly thorough during the first interview, my application process would have been complete a month ago. She won't call me and doesn't tell me something needs to be done until I walk into the local SSA office and speak to someone else or her supervisor.
Does anyone have any insight into this? Has any ever experienced something like this?

TDLR: a man asked for my number at work and I rejected him based off of the fact he said he was 25. He later found me on social media without finding out my name first and then came in during my shift again to ask for physical contact. I googled his name from when he found me on social media and I found out he is 32, has two felonies, and has been arrested at least 3 times.
I’ll try to make the recap short and simple.
I’m 20f. I work at a small store and this guy came in last monday and asked for my number. He mentions that he loves my smile and he thinks I’m beautiful (the smile part will come back later). I asked him how old he was because he seemed a lot older than me, and he said 25. I rejected him based off of this alone.
A few days later, he finds me on Instagram. My social media handles are not even close to my name (which he doesn’t know at this point) and I think this is odd, but not Too odd because we live in a small town. I reject his request to follow me and that’s that. He then finds me on tiktok and likes every single one of my posts, which shocks me. My name on tiktok is literally just an emoji.
Fast forward to yesterday, monday, he comes in at the same time. He figured out my schedule (I only work 2 days a week tho). He calls me by my name (we don’t have name tags, I didn’t tell him, I work alone in the store, etc.) and asks for a hug. I am freaked the fuck out already. He took my shock as an invitation to hug me anyway. I just kind of stood there in shock and he says “I just wanted to make you smile.” … eventually he says “I still wanna take you out” and I tell him I’m not interested and he just walks away.
I googled his name from when he found me on my tiktok and it turns out he’s a two time felon that has been arrested At Least 3 times from what I could find. My stomach dropped when I saw his multiple mugshots. AND he’s 32 years old. HE KNOWS IM 20 BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS I SAID TO HIM.
I told my boss and she told me that I will no longer be alone in the store for the time being, but I feel like more can be done. It’s really scary. What else can I do?

First of all i would like to say thank you for all of you that have been concerned and advising me to go to the vet immediately.
And also i need to answering some of your questions and explaining about my cat living conditions
• Why you have to wait for a week and didn’t go to the vet immediately?
The first time i noticed about the drool is when i saw the wet spot under his mouth and i asked my sister and my mom (they were both taking care of my cat recently since i had a busy schedules between work and uni) about that, they said “maybe he just drank water” and the weird thing is i noticed the wet spot hasn’t gone away and i have feelings that he’s not okay, and i ask them again and they said “maybe he just stressed about new people” (my aunt has been living with us for maybe a month now) and they keep denying over and over again and they said “don’t worry about him worry about your grades instead” i mean.. that’s true, but i gave them a responsibility, at least gave him some proper care or something.
• Did he lived in a garage?
Yes. My cat has been living in a garage since my aunt living with us, the thing is she’s really doesn’t like cats roaming around inside the house and have some kinda phobia towards cats, and my mom suggested that my cat should’ve kept in the garage for moment until we buy a proper cage for him. So yeah i don’t want to argue and i agreed, but in condition that her and my sister took care of it, since i rarely at home recently (i literally going home just for sleep). And thank you so much for telling me about litter box doesn’t belong near his food, that’s really explains why his bowl and his water rarely empty recently.
So my mom and my sister took him to the vet today and the doctor said he needs to check him further but his first initial test that maybe he’s dehydrating because of lack of water and because of extreme temperature that we got in Southeast Asia lately. Tomorrow we got the final results, i hope nothing serious happens to him and he’s completely fine.

Hi everybody,
Long-time lurker here. I'm currently 20 years old, and would like some insight into my portfolio and next steps from here.
I want to follow the Boglehead three-fund principle, although honestly, without the bond portion. I feel I'm too young to need this reduced risk (especially considering I have an emergency cash fund anyway).
My ROTH IRA is maxed out for this year: 80% FSKAX and 20% FTIHX.

• Will I be able to move these to a non-Fidelity account without having to liquidate/sell all my positions? (Not that I'll need to, I'd just like to have the option of doing so in case!)
• Do you recommend any other funds for serving the purposes each one fills?
  • Like another total market fund? Or should I ditch FSKAX and invest in FXAIX to just track the S&P 500 instead?
• Any other insights into these positions is super helpful...as of right now, I simply lump sum into the account on the first day of the year and buy the entirety of my position as I've seen evidence that lump-sum investing will typically yield better long-term returns than DCAing. Please lmk if this is not the optimal strategy!

I also have an emergency fund (in an HYSA) that covers more than six months of expenses. I'd like to park the rest of my money in a taxable brokerage account (also with Fidelity).
I'm honestly pretty lost here. Right now, I believe I will opt for buying FSKAX and FTIHX (again, lol) and leaving it to grow for a long period, but I just wanted to confirm that this is the most tax-efficient fund to choose. If anyone has any advice or guidance on how to understand the tax efficiency of one fund versus another, I'd also really appreciate such resources (I'm trying and struggling to grasp the concept myself; I feel like I just wrapped my head around an optimal IRA strategy).
Thanks everybody, I appreciate your help in advance! P.S. I'll be back relatively soon; I just received a letter from my summer internship company about the 401K and match they're giving me for the summer, and it seems that's a whole other beast. Cheers!

I (33,f) was with my ex bf (33,m) for a year and half. We met on Okcupid, and were very alike in many ways and hit it off right away, 4 months later, we decided to go steady. He came off as someone who was very family oriented, someone who cared about building a legacy, and was marriage minded, and that I was his first girlfriend.
Being together with him felt like a dream, he accepted me as a whole, encouraged me to improve, didn't leave when i went through surgery early on in our relationship, he took me to all his company's annual dinners, brought me to see his parents a month into getting official and I brought him to see mine a little later, he took us out on our first trip when we got intimate for the first time. Things were mostly peaceful and we hardly fought, i took care of him in every way I could, cooked, cleaned, took care of him when he was sick. I have never cared a single bit that he was earning lesser than I was, and I shared the dating expenses. I was nothing but grateful and happy to have found someone like him after all the prior unlucky encounters.
At one point in our relationship, he was having issues at work where his probation was being extended, I comforted him and worked together to pass the extension, i passed his cv to all the headhunters in my contacts and hoping it would help him securing a job opportunity elsewhere, he eventually passed and we celebrated it by taking a trip together.
After the trip, I found out that he's always had dating apps installed on his phone, i was devastated when I first found out and confronted him over it. He cried and begged that it was because he thought i would leave him as he was on the verge of losing his job at the time, he promised that he didn't swipe nor cheat on me, I broke down and promised him that I would always be by his side. He uninstalled the dating app after i found out and promised that we'll work towards our future, so we began our house hunting, and he eventually bought his first apartment for us.
A few months later, i realized my period stopped because of the pills, we discussed over it and agreed to stop the pills, and he'd be using condom moving forward. However, he was really undisciplined when it comes to contraception and i eventually got pregnant, i didn't want to abort the child at first and told him we should just get married, he said that he wasn't ready and talked me into having an abortion. I was sad, but I didn't want my child to live a life where the father didn't want him. He promised that we would have our children in the future when the time was right. And so we went with his decision, I was crying the whole night before the visit and cried in front of the doctor. It was beyond devastating for me.
Fast forward to 26th of December, I had a hunch that he was hiding something from me, so I went through his phone, turned out he had been cheating on me since day 1 with girls from dating apps, he had been taking them out on dates, attempting to sleep with them. He used all my favourite pictures that i took of him on dating apps, claimed that he was looking for long-term relationships. It killed me to know that he texted them on my birthday, flirted with them on Valentine's day, cheated on me even when I was helping him with job hunting while he lived a double life that I knew nothing of. I confronted him right away, and he claimed it was because his parents didn't like me, he begged me not to go, he claimed that he hadn't done anything physical with them and swore he will not cheat on me ever again, and we went for our first couple counselling on the same night. Life after that was hell, i couldn't trust him, i was fighting with my own self-respect, i fell into a deep depression. We tried our best at rebuilding the trust, and i acknowledged that he tried his best to reassure me and calmed me down whenever i was having a panic attack.
We decided to take a 3 week break after a month of trying to reconcile, the 3 weeks of no contact were brutal, i didn't know if he was cheating on me but I was so afraid of losing him at the same time. 3 weeks later, he came over to my house with gifts and broke up with me. I begged for him not to go, and that we can mend things. He wished me all the best and promised that i'll find my forever person one day and he then just left.
It's been 3 and a half months since the break up, and it still haunts me, i tried my best in that relationship, i gave in my all, i was a good girlfriend, i listened to him and was supportive. But this is what i'm being rewarded with, a very painful experience.

I had a baby in December and I didn’t take it while pregnant and then I breastfed for 6 months and didn’t take it.
I was starting to think maybe I didn’t even need it anymore… until this morning. I’m officially done breastfeeding and I took my meds this morning and wow.
45 mins after taking it I just stood up and started organizing the baby bottles and pumping supplies I’ve been avoiding dealing with for over a week. I paid a bill I’ve been getting texts about. I emptied a doom bag. And it’s only 8am. I can’t believe I even wanted to breastfeed. Next baby is going straight to formula, I can’t imagine how much easier the newborn stage would have been!!

I'm not really sure how exactly it happened, but I do have some clues. I think I probably took so long carefully crafting my perfect character, that when I was finally done and instead of embarking on an epic journey, was greeted with another character creation screen telling me I need a Guardian, I just randomly clicked on the first pre-made portrait that happened to be a female githyanki.
Then, after my first session, I had to take a long break from gaming and only got back to the game after 2 or 3 months. At this point I completely forgot I 'created' anyone else then my original character. So I'm happily exploring Act 1 with my little party, from which I dropped Lae'zel pretty fast because I just didn't trust her. She wasn't killed, but wasn't at my camp either, and I generally thought of her as a suspicious character that might just have something to do with my kidnapping.
And then, the first contact with my dream guardian happens, and she comes up to me as a female gith I have zero recollection of creating myself, so I think to myself: aha, this must be Lae'zel coming back to haunt me after I ditched her. Why isn't she using her real name though? Nevermind, she's probably important to the plot and this is the devs' way of ensuring I don't miss out on this part of the game, even if I don't have her in my party.
So this is what I believed until the big reveal. Each time I talked or met with a dream guardian, I was sure it was Lae'zel making sure I was okay and being really persistent about it. Felt a little weird to see her care so much to protect me after we met on the nautiloid for just an hour and then parted ways, but hey, if this was the studio and the writers' idea, who am I to question it?
And then, when I met the guardian in their true form, I was still like, okay? So the plot twist was that she really was one of them the whole time? I KNEW! Something only clicked for me later, when I saw a post in this subreddit where people were talking about randomizing the dream guardian's looks or making them into something specific, and I thought oh... so I created them... oh... so this really is a whole another person...
Now on my second playthrough I made them attractive and let me tell you does this hit different, even though I know what's coming. Kind of bummed I cheated myself out of this plot twist because it would have been one of those gaming moments you remember forever.

Hi there,
I wanted to take the time to write out a detailed explanation as to why some people might be hesitant donating to charitable organizations and why I personally would be in the 5% of people who would not follow Ludwig's recommendation of donating to Creators for Palestine. I'm also not here to be antagonistic towards others who donated but merely offer my perspective and decision making process as someone who has gathered knowledge about economics as well as psychology due to curiosity, specifically when it comes to the potential for corruption and ensuring money spent is used towards the expressed goals a charitable organization is expressing.
I also wanted to thank Ludwig for his respectful acknowledgement of the fact that not everyone would be prepared to donate like he did. I don't like how he's been treated for doing that and perhaps offering my perspective in detail will give some weight to that perspective and get people to empathize with both my position and his intent to validate others who see things differently.
World economics is something I became curious and interested in due to the 2008 financial collapse. It seemed mindboggling to me that various trusted institutions would engage in manipulative behavior on such a massive scale, something that many documentaries have covered as well as the movie The Big Short.
My interest did not stop there. A lesser publicized story regarding the HSBC also manifested between then and now that shares insights into how our modern economy operates and how that manipulative behavior, which has yet to be criminalized and legislated against, is leading to funding organizations who are harming the public at large.
There have been little amendments to accountability as a whole and charities, are also entities that are financial institutions that can be used for illicit purposes as they exist in this very space that lacks proper oversight and regulations due to what is permitted on the global economic stage which is the hiding of assets and the effortlessness of creating corporate entities out of thin air. We've seen evidence of this being reported as well when it comes to charitable organizations claiming they're doing something for a cause, only to funnel that money towards harmful and exploitative actors.
Basically, if you have the capital, you can set up a meeting with a law firm, assign a signatory, or even hire one through them and whatever happens with that account, is going to be completely untraceable and outside of public scrutiny. One of the reasons we now have this information is due to the tireless work of the ICIJ and their release of the Paradise Papers as well as other investigative works they undertook regarding the offshore economy.
Because of this, for me, a charitable organization needs to have an established record and a history of demonstrable humanitarian support, in order for me to sign up with them. Things like food banks for example, will have a long history of providing a population food. In fact, one of the best things you can do is give them money as they will be more effective when it comes to meeting demands vs having a surplus that is perishable and can expire.
When one looks at the PCRF, one can see that it was established in 1991. That means there's a longstanding record of their operations and effectiveness. However, when one looks at that record, one is met with some startling discoveries.
One such discovery is that its operational budget for 2021 was 13.7 million, which is money that didn't get to the children of Palestine. It took in 21.7 million, which means that only 7.3 million dollars of that money was supposedly provided to relief efforts. That's like 33%.
Then you have the instance of the US Treasury deciding to freeze its assets on suspicion that it was funneling money to Hamas, which we've seen in the current economic climate and through history, is a very real threat. And that's just the tip of the iceberg as you can see on the page that I linked.
Lets say for the sake of argument that these concerns are unfounded though and that the operational costs in 2021 were justified due to the challenges of getting aid to that area of the world and that the US Treasury was engaging in a complete witch hunt and everything else has some sort of reasonable explanation.
Why, would one require a fourth party, through Tiltify, in order to then give money to the PCRF? It does not make any logical sense whatsoever to me, especially when they are actively taking a cut of charitable donations as well. The PCRF has its own website with a fully functional donation page, why involve a fourth party in that donation chain?
Another thing I look at, are the people who are leading these charitable organizations.
Michael Wasserman, the founder of Tiltify, his educational background? Is in music. All of a sudden, after embarking into the field he went to school for, this guy makes a drastic career change, launching himself into the field of philanthropy and business. That seems odd to me.
All of these reasons combined are why when someone recommends that I donate to a charity that has shown the potential for corruptive practices, my response is along the lines of no thank you. It's not because I do not empathize with the events taking place in Palestine but it comes from a place of wanting that money to get to the people in need.
When it comes to the psychology at play Dr Ramani is an expert on narcissism and she estimates that about 1 in 6 people are narcissists.
These are individuals who have no empathy to speak of. They know right from wrong but ultimately, people are just things for them to manipulate and control. More often than not, these are the people who find themselves in positions of power and control because they spend a lifetime practicing the art of manipulation and deception so they can obtain these positions by any and all means necessary.
They would have absolutely no problems using an event like what's happening in Gaza in order to gather money for themselves with the illusion of helping others and using people's empathy against them who are looking to donate to a good cause. In fact, they think they're entitled to it.
Narcissists will often do this thing called breadcrumbing where they will give a breadcrumb to someone who is starving either literally or emotionally, in order to give the perception that they are doing something when in reality it's a manipulative self-serving behavior. This would also manifest in a business because we're hierarchical creatures, their presence would lead to them having ultimate power and control over that company, its environment and a business' behaviour would reflect the personality type of that leader.
Empaths, their antithesis? Would be the ones who would take the dollars received and ensure victims get the lions share whilst keeping operational costs down.
Mirjana Spoljaric Egger strikes me as such an individual. An empath. She actually went to Gaza to see and understand the environment she was tasking herself and the organization she represents to help survivors of a historical genocidal attack from Israel at the command of Netanyahu. It seems far more probable to me that funding the International Committee of the Red Cross will achieve the goal of providing relief to survivors in desperate need.
These are the reasons why I take great care choosing what charitable organization to engage with and promote and I think it's perfectly reasonable to do so.
I'm grateful that there are people like Ludwig who respects that however I still felt a need to justify this position due to recent events that made me feel like I was doing something wrong because he was made to feel like he was doing something wrong for simply acknowledging people like me.
And it felt kinda shitty to be honest.

I saw the surgeon's PA and the surgeon yesterday for my two week follow-up and we were all thrilled. This second hip has been such a different experience for me, thanks to physical therapy for the left hip right up to the day before surgery for my right.
Quick recap: 58F, osteoarthritis in both hips, left anterior THR on February 1, right anterior THR on April 25, both Mako with Stryker hardware.
Surgeon's report: Potential Limitations: None. Comparision Available: Findings Are New. X-rays of the pelvis and right hip have been taken, reviewed and interpreted by me today. Right hip x-rays show anatomic alignment of right total hip arthroplasty. Components well-seated and well aligned. Left total hip arthroplasty also in place, well-seated and well aligned. Leg length appears to be within 1 cm when measuring along a line along the inferior border of the pelvis, intersecting the lesser trochanters.
I started using the cane this past weekend and switched back and forth from cane to walker depending on how much extra support I felt I needed. I was using the cane for my appointment. He pointed out that I was having a bit of difficulty starting walking once I stood up from the chair but once I took a few steps, I was unstoppable. 😀 Those first few steps are tough because my thigh muscles are still tight. Heck, I'm two and a half weeks out, still so early in the healing process, and yeah, that right thigh is mad.
I asked the PA if it would be possible for me to drive a block and a half to my PT appointment at in-town speeds not to exceed 20mph. She encouraged me to start working on getting in and out of the car and driving shirt distances, even up to running quick errands around town. Restrictions: No pain meds on board, no highway speeds, and absolutely no driving if I'm having trouble lifting my right leg.
I've also been cleared to start working from home starting next week. New challenge: To take frequent walk breaks during my workday so I don't stiffen up all over and slow my progress.
This has been such a long time coming. I've struggled with my left hip for literal decades when the first signs of arthritis showed up on x-rays in my 20s. Things had degenerated on the left to the point where I wasn't really able to walk by mid-December 2023. I was in such poor physical condition going into the surgery for the left that it took 10 weeks of recovery and physical therapy before I felt comfortable enough that my left leg could carry me and I could get the right one done.
I want to thank this community for all the support and sharing stories and willingness to answer questions from all your personal experiences. Of course, this post wouldn't be complete unless I threw in the cliche:
Why did I wait so long??
😆🩷🩷

Hi there! I currently have a Thermaltake Level 20 VT as a case for my PC. I am also listing the rest of components needed for finding a case:

• MSI MAG B550M (Micro ATX)
• Corsair Hydro H100x (Top, I can't remember if I installed it as intake or outtake)
• Nvidia GeForce 3080ti FE
• Corsair RM850 850W 80 Gold Plus
• 140mm Corsair Fan (x3, two bottom intakes - one rear outtake)
• 2.5" SSD

Rest of components for those curious:

• AMD Ryzen 9 5950x 3.4 GHz
• Kingston HyperX Fury Black DDR4 3600MHz PC4-28800 64GB 4x16GB CL18
• x2 SSD NVME 500GB

I want to replace the case for this reasons:

1. The lights of the components upsets me. I can only deactivate the GPU ones but by launching their own software and I refuse to launch any software to keep something off. That should be the default for gods sake.
2. All of the sides are glass. At first glance this looked like attractive but its actually a magnet of dust and fingerprints, and its hard to clean without leaving scratches. The build came not pretty (I was not looking after it either) so there is no point of having a 360º view of a pile of shitty cable managment a weirdo-placed components, because in this case the motherboard is lying horizontally, parallel to the desk.
3. Is unneccesarily big. I think it was designed for custom builds like having two separate radiators for CPU and GPU, custom liquid cooling... Looks like half empty. If I could fill it with water I would use it as an aquarium.

What I want:

1. Reuse all components OFC, but I can sacrifice the fans (140mm to 120mm) if needed.
2. No glass in any side. Just neccesary vents.
3. Cheap mate metal panels that looks like black powdered painted (You know, that old stuff...) No shiny Piano black panels or whatever. I want to be able to clean the case with sandpaper without damaging it (Just kidding, but you got it)
4. Small as possible. I'm not planning on upgrading this PC in the future. By the time this PC became outdated for my use case, I won't be needing PC's at all anymore.
5. IMPORTANT: The only limitant factor in terms of size is the height, can not exceed 450 MM.

What do you have in mind? I am also in the search! But you master-racer nerdys made all of the manufacturers populate the market with showcases with more lights than Las Vegas. Fck you nerdys. Thanks in advance!
FUN FACT: All of the components that are still manufactured today (I built this like three years ago) have halved its price, except for the case, whose price has doubled. lmao.

I feel so guilty right now with how I feel. I have 2 teens. I have raised them alone since they were babies. The youngest was 9 months when I left my ex husband due to his addiction. He had started abusing me and I didn't want the kids to grow up with that.
I don't receive child support. He never had a job and it wasn't worth the mental strain of having him in our lives. Now I don't know where he lives anyway. It's been 14 years.
My parents are both deceased. I never had a good relationship with my siblings. Their friends came first. My sister will help with my other sisters kids but she never babysat mine. She's never done anything with mine unless it was a school function, holiday or birthday. My kids really don't know her.
I didn't date until a few years ago. On a first date with someone I sexually assaulted. The person who I considered my best friend joked about it. I eventually met someone who I developed deep feelings for but i learned after everything that he is probably a narcissist or avoidant. It's been 2 years of casual which was fine, to let's try a relationship which he would say I'm busy, etc. He was seeing other people and in the end I was discarded.
Meanwhile every week something is happening. One week my tire blew out and I had to miss some work. The next my toilet had an issue and during a work call the ceiling fell in. The following week my brakes needed repair. My kids got sick and I had to pick them up. Doctors appts. You name it. My boss thinks I'm lying because I end up missing work and ive offered proof. I'm a manager and wfh. I stay late and work hard. I am looking for a job that I can be happy at as I'm not happy here and I need more money. I'm drowning in debt.
I've tried to make friends. I made 2 that just go to a bar. Not close friends. And all they do is a bar. And I don't drink. I have no support with them.
I'm completely and utterly alone. Which leads me to today. I took PTO. I've been battling a deep depression. Therapy and meds aren't helping. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune illness that has me not feeling well. To cope with everything going on, I work out and walk. I've been walking 3 to 6 miles a day. It's become an obsession.
My car was in the garage yet again so I couldn't take flowers to the cemetery for my mom. I wanted to today. Then walk to a coffee shop and sit outside and just try to get a plan. To just be away from work. And then try to clean my house a little while the kids are at school. Well it never fails that the oldest is sick and home. And I lost it. The last 3 PTO days I tried to take one of them ended up home. I dont tell them I'm staying home so it's not on purpose. But it ruins my whole attempt at trying to help myself. I am never away from kids or home or work or bad things happening. They help out but not enough. If I ask them to do something it gets pushed off until I start to threaten to take phones. And then I end up doing it myself because I'm just tired of it.
Everything is grey for me. I have no happiness. I feel like im hanging by a thread. I'm trying to heal from heartbreak. I'm trying to find a part time job but my kid asks how she will get to work since she uses my car. I'm finding I resent my kids. I've tried explaining that I'm dealing with a lot. That I'm human. I'm trying. I never say I hate them. It's just this morning that I broke down and just started crying and basically asking God (I am trying to tap into my faith which is waining) why I can't catch a break. And she took it personally. My only friend called me a pussy. Which makes me feel more pathetic.
I just feel so trapped and horrible for my feelings of resenting my kids.
Tldr: I'm a solo mom raising kids alone on my salary that has had a streak of bad luck, is in debt, depressed, therapy isn't working, heartbroken, home with kids and wfh and the straw that broke the camels back was taking today off for time to try to get some peace alone and my daughter staying home sick. I feel trapped and I don't know why.

Second time mom in the US due in December. With my first, we adored my midwife, and I trusted her judgement completely. We have since moved states and I became pregnant 10 months postpartum, so we had to quickly find a new OB.
At my confirmation ultrasound, the ultrasound tech said she couldn’t share any information because my OB “will yell at the techs”. She did show me the heartbeat to calm my nerves, but explicitly avoided saying anything positive about the pregnancy.
48 hours later, I still didn’t hear anything so I called the office. My OBs nurse was out, so I had to wait over the weekend before I heard anything. On Monday the nurse called me and said “did the ultrasound tech not give you a photo of the ultrasound? Weird, they usually do.” Which contradicted what the tech said.
I was bleeding right after I took a positive pregnancy test, so had the tech not shown me the heartbeat, I would’ve been worried sick from Wednesday to Monday when I finally heard back. I’m also feeling disconnected from this pregnancy compared to my first, so not receiving the ultrasound makes me feel horrible.
I don’t know if this warrants changing OBs or if I’m just being emotional from sleep deprivation… any input is welcome!

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

With the EA Sports College Football 25 cover being released this Thursday, I thought it would be interesting to look back at all covers — and not just the EA covers, but the athletes featured on covers of rival games by Sony, Sega, and other competitors.
Competition is a good thing. Putting these in chronological order takes me back to the era where there were options (I bought my first game in the '90s, and played a lot of 2k2).
If you count the 2 players that are identifiable off of "College Football USA 96" there have been 36 cover athletes across 34 editions of college football games (plus an active coach, mascot, two band members, and an unidentified player)
This post is going to look cleaner in "old" view. You can swap the "www" with "old" in the URL or just click here.

Year	Publisher	Game Title (image)	Cover Athlete (wiki)	Heisman?	Formats	Notes
1993	EA Sports	Bill Walsh College Football	STAN Coach Bill Walsh	N/A	Sega Genesis, SNES, Sega CD	No licenses so generic names/logos
1994	EA Sports	Bill Walsh College Football '95	STAN Coach Bill Walsh	N/A	Sega Genesis	Schools licensed now
1994	Mindscape	NCAA Football	NCAA Logo over generic players	N/A	Sega Genesis, SNES
1994	Sega Sports	College Football's National Championship	ND Notre Dame Stadium	N/A	Sega Genesis
1995	EA Sports	College Football USA 96	KSU¦MICH¦FSU¦WIS¦USC "Generic" photos*	No	Sega Genesis	see below*
1995	Sega Sports	College Football's National Championship II	COL Folsom Field	No	Sega Genesis
1996	EA Sports	College Football USA 97	NEB QB Tommie Frazier	No	Sega Genesis, SNES	1st true cover athlete
1996	Sony	NCAA Football Gamebreaker	OSU RB Eddie George	HEISMAN!	PS1	1st Heisman winner on cover
1997	EA Sports	NCAA Football 98	FLA QB Danny Wuerffel	HEISMAN!	PS1, PC
1997	Sony	NCAA Gamebreaker 98	FSU RB Warrick Dunn	No	PS1
1998	EA Sports	NCAA Football 99	MICH CB Charles Woodson	HEISMAN!	PS1, PC	1st of 2 defensive players ever
1998	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 99	NEB QB Scott Frost	No	PS1	1st future head coach
1999	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2000	TEX RB Ricky Williams	HEISMAN!	PS1
1999	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2000	UCLA QB Cade McNown	No	PS1
2000	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2001	ALA RB Shaun Alexander	No	PS1
2000	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2001	WIS RB Ron Dayne	HEISMAN!	PS1, PS2	1st 6th generation console game
2001	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2002	FSU QB Chris Weinke	HEISMAN!	PS2
2001	Sega Sports	NCAA College Football 2K2	PUR QB Drew Brees	No	DC
2002	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2003	ORE QB Joey Harrington	No	PS2, GC, Xbox
2002	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2003	MIA RB Clinton Portis	No	PS2	[Sony skipped 2002]
2002	Sega Sports	NCAA College Football 2K3	NEB QB Eric Crouch	HEISMAN!	PS2, GC, Xbox
2003	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2004	USC QB Carson Palmer	HEISMAN!	PS2, GC, Xbox, N-Gage	1st handheld on Nokia's disastrous system
2003	Sony	NCAA GameBreaker 2004	PSU RB Larry Johnson	No	PS2
2004	EA Sports	NCAA Football 2005	PITT WR Larry Fitzgerald	No	PS2, GC, Xbox
2005	EA Sports	NCAA Football 06	MICH WR Desmond Howard		PS2, Xbox	1991's Heisman
2006	EA Sports	NCAA Football 07	USC RB Reggie Bush	HEISMAN!	PS2, Xbox, 360, PSP
2007	EA Sports	NCAA Football 08	BOISE QB Jared Zabransky	No	360, PS3, PS2, Xbox
2007	Aspyr	Black College Football: BCFX: The Xperience	Generic player, cheerleader, drum major	No	PC, 360 (2009)	HBCU teams
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	CAL WR DeSean Jackson	No	PS2	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	BC QB Matt Ryan	No	PS3	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	WVU FB Owen Schmitt	No	PSP	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	MSU mascot Sparty	No	Wii	Multi-cover
2008	EA Sports	NCAA Football 09	ARK RB Darren McFadden	No	360	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	TEX LB Brian Orakpo	No	PS2	Multi-cover; 2 of 2 defenders
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	UTAH QB Brian Johnson	No	PS3	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	USC QB Mark Sanchez	No	PSP	Multi-cover
2009	EA Sports	NCAA Football 10	TTU WR Michael Crabtree	No	360	Multi-cover
2010	EA Sports	NCAA Football 11	FLA QB Tim Tebow	HEISMAN!	PS3, 360, PS2, iOS
2011	EA Sports	NCAA Football 12	ALA RB Mark Ingram II	HEISMAN!	PS3, 360	Fan-vote cover athlete
2012	EA Sports	NCAA Football 13	BAY QB Robert Griffin III & OKST RB Barry Sanders	YES!	PS3, 360	Fan-vote for older athlete
2013	EA Sports	NCAA Football 14	MICH Denard Robinson	No	PS3, 360	Fan-vote cover athlete
2024	EA Sports	EA Sports College Football 25	TBD	TBD	PS5, Xbox Series X/S

*Photos on College Football USA 96 cover are USC Trojan drum major, a Wisconsin band member, unidentified Florida State player (zoomed in on helmet), but also easily identified K-State WR Kevin Lockett & Michigan RB Tim Biakabutuk (both played in '95 season after this came out)

Various developers:

EA Sports's developers:

• High Score Productions (1993: Genesis, Sega CD; 1994-96)
• Visual Concepts (1993: SNES)
• Tiburon Entertainment (1997-98), bought/renamed EA Tiburon (1999-2013), renamed EA Orlando (2024)
• Exient Entertainment (2003: N-Gage)

Sega Sports's developers:

• BlueSky Software (1994-95) [developers of Joe Montana series]
• Visual Concepts & Avalanche Software (2001-02) [NFL 2K & NFL Blitz, respectively]

Sony Computer Entertainment America's developers:

• Sony Interactive Studios America (1996-97), renamed Red Zone Interactive (1998-99), renamed 989 Studios (2000)

Aspyr Media's developer:

• Nerjyzed Entertainment (2007: Windows; 2009: 360)

Further notes:

Bill Walsh was picked because there was an early-theme of having big names on sports video games.

• EA actually started this back when they were the cool, bad boy of games in the 1980s (I'm that old, they packaged their games like records and put photos of their programmers that made them look like musicians on the back) with the pioneering PC game One on One: Dr. J vs. Larry Bird (1983), later updated to Jordan vs. Bird: One on One (1988).
• Nintendo got into it by localizing Punch-Out! as Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (1987) for NES. EA brought out John Madden Football (1988) for PC.
• Sega was wild about this when they launched the Genesis with Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf (1989), Tommy Lasorda Baseball (1989), Pat Riley Basketball (1990), Joe Montana Football (1991).
• 1993: Bill Walsh! There even was an EA Coach K college hoops game.

Bill Walsh may have got the cover curse:

• While he had retired from the San Francisco 49ers on top, after winning his 3rd Super Bowl, he had only returned to the Farm for a year when he was picked (he had a good first tenure in the 70s before jumping to the 49ers).
• In 1992 he took the Cardinal to a Blockbuster Bowl win and a #9 rank. Signed this deal for EA.
• After the first game came out he had two bad seasons and re-retired for good.

The progression of teams is fun to see.

• 1993: the top 24 college football teams from 1992 + 24 of the all-time greatest teams since 1978. The teams were unlicensed so they used city and state names, especially where similar to their real names (e.g. Michigan). But you got some fun results like a spirited game of "South Bend, IN" vs "Raleigh, NC"
• 1994: 36 Division I-A teams, but the bowls were still not included: Instead we get Maple Bowl, Palm Bowl, Pecan Bowl, and Redwood Bowl
• 1995: first version to feature all (108 at the time) Division l-A teams, the real bowl games like Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, and Rose. Includes older names but also the Pacific Tigers, which actually dropped football before the game was released.

The rights to the title "NCAA" license wasn't obtained by EA until 1998 (as you can see there was an earlier one-off by Mindscape). Its ability to use the NCAA's brands in the the football game was actually the secondary result of a licensing deal intended primarily for an EA "March Madness" basketball game.

First
Previous
Sorry for the delay in getting this part out; been away visiting family so not had much time to put fingers to keyboard, plus I managed to have my phone stolen by a roller coaster and it took a white to get it replaced and be able to get into a few things - stupid two factor authentication! Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
+++++++++++++++++++
Y’Lek and K’Rim slowed their mad dash as they neared the armoury; there was no telling whether the Swarm agents had left any traps for them and the armoury was full of extremely energy dense materials and weapons which could potentially jeopardise the structure of the ship if employed in the right way. Grabbing some handy footholds they stopped and considered the imposing door in front of them.
After a few moments of effort K’Rim had eased off the casement off the door’s locking mechanism but could detect nothing amiss with the crystalline structure beneath. Bypassing the outer interface she placed a grasper to the innards and a small spark of bioelectric energy jumped into the crystal which glowed briefly as the uniquely patterned waveform was parsed and compared with the patterns of those permitted access. The door slid aside as they were granted entry with no unwanted surprises being triggered.
With a relieved chitter Y’Lek started inside only to be pulled back sharply as K’Rim pulled on his leg.
“Stop. Just because the door opens, doesn’t mean that it is safe.” K’Rim warned as she pulled a small disc out of one of her utility pouches. Snapping it easily she gently tossed it through the doorway after slowly counting out a grasper of seconds. The exothermic reaction had reached the point where the disc glowed fitfully in the infrared, while it emitted a clear UV light. K’Rim watched it carefully and her antennae twitched with the effort of picking up any slight sound.
The glow-disc struck some of the lockers which filled the armoury and ricocheted off around the room but nothing seemed to react to the heat and movement.
With a decisive clack of her mandibles K’Rim pulled herself through the doorway and into the armoury. Y’Lek followed close on her tarsus. It was immediately obvious that several sets of warrior equipment had been removed, along with copious numbers of weapons.
Y’Lek was surprised when K’Rim didn’t make for the remaining warrior gear but instead to the emergency pressure suits. Seeing the confused tilt of his head K’Rim explained “Although the room appears safe, we don’t know what they may have done while they were here but it is safe to assume that they would have ensured any of the most dangerous equipment could not be used against them.”
She passed a bundled pressure suit to Y’Lek and continued “The emergency gear and non-powered weapons are the least likely to have been tampered with and have the least amount of capacity for harming us even if they have been so we will have to make do with them until we can thoroughly check the rest of the equipment.”
Y’Lek thought for a moment before bobbing in agreement and starting to pull on the pressure suit, careful to sheath his claws with the hardened “gauntlets” integral to the suit before powering up the spiracle gas exchangers and carefully sealing them in place against his thorax. “Yes, I can see the risk now. Though it will potentially leave us vulnerable, it is better to be certain of our equipment than to die of over confidence.”
The emergency pressure suit came together quickly, living up to its name and the pair were quickly sealed against the cold, dry, and slightly strange tasting air that the aliens had been pumping into the Far Flung Seed and supplying them with a more familiar and moister mixture.
K’Rim passed him a set of the ceremonial but still functional weapons and the harness to hold them. They wouldn’t hold up long against a fusion blade or a particle lance but they were durable enough to give them a chance and were completely inert so could not have been sabotaged.
Only a couple of minutes after entering the armoury they swam back out into the corridor and sped off towards the arboretum.
+++++++++++++++++++
Smithy quickly sprayed a fluorescent marking on the uneven and root covered tunnel junction to identify which way they had come from. “How can such a small ship have so many damn tunnels?” he growled to himself.
“It’s not the size of the ship, it’s what you do with it that matters” quipped Hall.
“Yeah? Well, apparently in this case it was fill it with bloody tunnels.” deadpanned Smithy in response.
“Can it.” broke in Stroud before anyone else could get involved “You can discuss the relative merits of alien design philosophy on your own time; for now you need to focus.”
A chorus of “Sergeant” came back over the radio and the remainder of Delta and Echo buckled down and continued sweeping what even Stroud was prepared to admit was a seemingly endless series of tunnels with apparently zero overarching logic to their layout. Up until a few minutes ago they had been getting directional updates from some supposedly friendly ET’s in the control room but apparently they had suddenly just buggered off so now they were picking junctions that appeared to take them in the vague direction that had been indicated to them.
Stroud again cursed the fact that the maintenance drones brought by the initial engineering team hadn't been able to access this part of the ship and map it due to the tightly sealed blast doors that had protected the forest from the vacuum. Who could have imagined that there would have been so much structure hidden underneath and between the normal corridors and rooms? The three dimensional map they had been creating as they advanced was like something Jackson Pollock and H R Giger might have come up with on an acid trip.
They approached another intersection and slowed. After a quick glance between them, Mears and Jackson moved forward, taking cover behind Mears’ shield. They crept up to the junction and Jackson poked the muzzle of his shotgun, and its camera into the ragged space beyond. The feed showed several small tunnels radiating off at all angles, way too small for any of them to fit down. One navigable tunnel appeared to curve off back in the direction they came from, while another looked like it might go the right way.
Suddenly the camera and the end third of Jackson’s gun disintegrated into a cloud of superheated vapour, shards of glowing metal and smoking composites. With a scream Jackson jumped back, the outer weave on the gauntlet of his left hand shredded and smouldering. In a stunning display of muscle memory he ejected the internal magazine and disconnected the weapon from the backpack feed almost before his mind had caught up with what was going on.
Hands grabbed him as he was yanked further back into the corridor. He flung the remains of his shotgun down and it clattered and bounced down the tunnel in the vague direction of the junction. Jackson was conscious of Mears backing up towards him, shield held protectively to block as much of the tunnel as possible, while Smithy grabbed his forearm and inspected his hand. Stroud stepped over him and took up guard on Mears’ shoulder, weapon trained forward and sweeping what could be seen of the slightly larger space beyond this section of the tunnel.
Another “FOOOM!” as the tumbling wreckage of the shotgun was vaporised as it spun across the opening of the tunnel.
“Fuuuuuuuck me!” said Jackson, at last able to form words as the adrenaline induced tunnel vision started to clear.
“Well, how about you start by showing me whether you can still use your fingers and we can take it from there, eh?” Smithy said from where he was turning his hand from prone to supine again. “Looks like the inner layer of your glove is intact but both Simmonds and Jones complained of numbness after being hit. How’re you feeling?”
Jackson gingerly flexed his fingers and made a fist a few times but grunted as he felt the tips of his fingers tingle where they pressed into the material of his gloves “Feels weird - tingly like I sat on my hand or something.”
Smithy grunted to acknowledge this “OK, well shout out if it gets any worse; got it?”
He pulled Jackson to his feet and slapped him on the shoulder before they both turned back to face down the tunnel again. Jackson surreptitiously flexed his hand a few more times as he pulled out his sidearm and secured its retaining strap to his right wrist. He wasn’t too hopeful that the small pistol would be able to do too much against the ET’s, but it was better than walking around with nothing.
Stroud backed away from the junction where he had been very gingerly checking all the passageways with a camera barely poking out from the mouth of the tunnel they were in.
He stood up and turned to the security team “Ok, looks like there is something stuffed into one of the narrow tunnels - kind of like those shoulder guns the ET’s have, along with a stand and power supply. My guess is it has some kind of automated fire mode and decided that it really didn’t like Jackson’s gun waving around in front of it. Question is, how are we going to get rid of it? We can’t leave it behind in case we need to come back this way in a hurry.”
“I guess it will probably shoot anything we throw at it so grenades are out?” mused Mears
There followed a number of suggestions and comments.
“Can we get an angle on it and just shoot it?”
“How about we let Jackson distract it some more while the rest of us blow it away?”
“We need to avoid the power pack if the two dead ET’s from the corridor are anything to go by.”
Stroud listened for a minute before cutting the chatter short. “Ok, so I think our best bet is to use the ballistic shield to bait it, while someone else blows the top off it from the other side of the tunnel; Mears you and Jackson handle the shield; keep a tight hold on it as those shots release a lot of energy when they hit. Smithy - I’ve marked its location so you hug the other side of the tunnel and draw a bead on it. Wait for it to hit the shield before popping out and taking your shot; and for the love of all that you hold dear do it fast, Ok?”
The team nodded in agreement.
“I will be there to pull Smithy back as soon as he has popped out of cover, just in case.” concluded Stroud before ushering them to their positions. After a few moments of shuffling around each other in the tight space they were ready.
Smithy led the countdown. “Ready. Steady. Go!” Instantly Mears and Jackson shoved a third of the ballistic shield out into the corridor and planted themselves on top of the section remaining in the corridor only a moment ahead of a bright flash and the shield heaving under the impact.
Seemingly almost simultaneously Smithy leaned out and fired, the boom of his shotgun mingling with the “foom!” of the vaporising surface of the shield. Stroud almost bodily lifted him as he pulled him back from the edge.
For a second they were still as they sprawled around the opening.
“A good hit!” called Stroud as he reviewed the few frames of footage from Smithy’s gun camera between jumping out and back in again.
Mears stood up and inspected the sorry remains of his ballistic shield, now missing most of the top edge. “Great, well I hope there aren’t too many more of those hidden around as I’m running out of shield.”
+++++++++++++++++++
N’Dar’s antennae quivered inside his protective suit. That last series of weapons fire had been far too close for comfort and he still had two more locking systems to bypass. With a furious click of his mandibles he redoubled his efforts, running his bioelectric patterns through a series of filters, amplifiers and other signal processing systems to trick the door into thinking he had a right to open it.
The rot take the claw that had been delaying the aliens! He was supposed to have more time than this!
Next

Sooooooooooo I wanted to do a nozzle change and now I'm not far away from destroying this whole thing.
At first I used the wrench that comes with the printer. On this (newly bought) hot end for my ender 3 pro I never did a nozzle change, but printed like 60h with it. Because my last change on my old hot end was 3-4 Months ago and I only did it 2x-3x before I looked for a little tutorial.
I tried heating it up in front and then tried with 80°C, 140°C and 190°C. Nothing worked, I then went to get some bigger wrenches/tools for the job and tried everything I could do on my own. Now I have little metal pieces from the nozzle and my tools laying in/on my printebuild plate and in my room. The little wrenches that came with it are slighty deformed and my y-axis seems much looser then before... What the hell did I buy there on Amazon from official creality. Is this a one time use nozzle??

Hi all,
So long story short, my husband and I been in marriage counseling. I have been going through a lot internally and externally and sex is the last thing on my mind. Especially when there is no non-sensual activities. I have a hard time sleeping despite being on meds, so sometimes the only way I can sleep is masturbation.
I hesitate to do this because I didn't want my husband to feel rejected but it's purely medicinal. I'm not horny, I don't think about anything sexual. I just need sleep that's all. We walked about this in therapy and my therapist suggested to him to offer me space in this.
It's been a stressful few weeks and only done it twice. The first time I asked it was awkward so I didn't do it. Second time I told him I was gonna do it, no issue. I did it again, and he was more touchy feely and offering to help. I declined but thanked him anyway reminding him it's purely medicinal. I'm desperate to sleep.
Last night, I wanted to try it again, I been very anxious and going through body insecurity stuff and some depression from trauma. Yesterday for mother's day (it was nothing done btw) he was very touchy feely. So I often gave into hugging him or kissing him but immediately drawn a line. Today he was very touchy. Squeezing my butt, kissing me, snuggling with me when I didn't want it. I felt bad for saying no, but was so touched out and depressed...so I went along with it.
Then at night, I said I needed to desperately sleep. I'm just very overwhelmed and anxious. I hesitantly asked him if it's okay. He said sure. Then said can we do it together. I was excited because our therapist suggested it could be an activity done together. So he asks if he can look at my butt while doing it. Like me bending over. I told him my toy won't feel as good in that position. At this point he has all the pillows laid out and I knew that it was sexual for him. I took a shower for the first time in several days (autism, ADHD, OCD, depression). So I went along with it. I didn't use my toy because it was only for sleep. I told him to not finish on my butt. He agreed.
So he's doing his thing then he starts kissing me and feeling on my parts. I told him we agreed that it would just be to help him get off and nothing else. He said he wants to pleasure me and kept asking if he could do me from the back. He kept asking over and over. I did say no. At that point I was tearing up because he kept touching me. Eventually he finished on my butt which sent me spiraling. He kept apologizing saying he didn't know it was gonna squirt up. Of course I said it was okay.
He cleaned me up, and I just laid down and cried silently. All in all he told me he wanted me the whole day. So I assume this was a plan of his. I know I messed up and I'm so stupid to think I can masturbate to sleep without him being involved. I'm probably being super sensitive too.
Any thoughts

Good morning everyone. Absolutely insane! Post pandemic I have seen everything. Many of you do not remember, there was a little Chinese company $HKD around August/September 2022 that ran from 12 to 2,555 in less than 5 days! This company was not short. At it’s peak the market cap was well over 500 billion! It is now 690 million. Look it up! This company was a new IPO with just 1 million shares available for trade. This was not shorted at all. The idea that a company must be short is not correct!
The stock market is a live auction based on supply and demand… Yes, it is correct that if a company is short high. [A figure over 20% is fairly high] it becomes easier for the stock to increase.. the buyers can force the stock to go higher, and brokers will cover, force buy the shorts to close out positions but it is not necessary..
AMC had near 500 million volume and GME 200 yesterday….
AMC had 263 million shares available… AMC took advantage of the volume and printed 72.5 million brand new shares at an average of 3.45 yesterday for 250 million.
Does AA have #FOMO ?
This morning’s peak was 13 for AMC and 80 for GME … AMC does need the money for business, it does suck that they didn’t have more offerings available and had they known, this 250 million would be over 1 billion today!
The point? NO ONE KNOWS!
No one knew last week, no one knew over the weekend! Yes, Roaring kitty, or someone that used their account may have tweeted but no one knows what traders will do with that, or what the highest high or lowest low will be…
I have shared with many of you that the CEO of Reddit RDDT is actually the main Mod at WSB. There is definitely a ton of stock manipulation but I would argue and say that is what 99% of new traders want! They want quick and fast money, don’t care if its fixed, scam, real…
So open the casinos! Most options must be traded during market hours..
I do not blame anyone for playing the volatility.
Yesterday, I did bid 500 dollars on 2 different GME puts for July. I guess I was lucky that neither filled. A 25 and 27 strike… Based on premarket I may be able to 60-70 LOL! If I lose it is a risk I am willing to take.

I would like to buy 3 different AMC and 3 different GME puts. Maybe different strike prices or expiration dates and at most 500 each. The most I can lose is the money in the option. No YOLO! No one can predict the prices, just that it will be hot money…
If you go on the fundamentals :
AMC 330 million shares = 700 to 800 million value means near $2 to 2.50 fair value
GME 305 million shares = 700 to 800 million value means near 2.50
It is obvious that the companys’ themselves can not make enough money to justify the 4 and 10+ billion market caps they will have at open.

I sold PERI at 12.55 from 12.10. I will keep making this trade. They will be doing a 75 million buyback soon. The CFO expects it to start soon and close by June 30^th. The only speculation here is when it starts and if they will have a daily limit… Will they buy in several days? Or buy 5 million a day? 10 million a day? That no one knows… I took a bet a few weeks ago on DNUT because of MCD news.. The earnings were good. I have 1,000 at 13.55, I may buy 1,000 more as it goes near 12…. I am positive when MCD roll out completes there will be a 25% increase in sales… not earnings, but sales….. earnings, I do not know… I have WBA at 19 and 19.25… I am glad they are selling off Boot stores in the UK. They must unlock some value here. I did bid 22.50 on more ACMR.. I did try YOU … I almost sold SOFI at 7.35 [In 1,000 at 7.10] I did make a bid for PYPL . COIN had amazing earnings I am watching… OSCR as well…
Looking for a deal on MTCH again, last sale at 29.. So there are lots of things to do besides memes.. Just be careful out there. It is a roll of the dice!

5 Trade Ideas:

AMC / GME – Open the casinos! I don’t blame anyone long or short, I am willing to make several 500 bets on different strikes and dates.. They will all have time. [Yesterday I tried July GME puts with a 25 and 27 strike, no fills]

PERI – I have 500 still at 22, They will be at the auctions soon and I want to be in first! Last trade 12.10 to 12.55 on 500… I will keep trading more blocks of 500

SOFI – I would like to make 25 cents on my 1,000 at 7.10 and keep trading a block of 1,000

ACMR MTCH OSCR – Some stocks I have been watching with good earnings or value

DKNG COIN – Both great earnings but speculative at valuations, I would risk money in Call options, not shares

The contents of this post are for information and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute financial, accounting, or legal advice. ... By choosing to make a trade you are responsible for your own actions. Please do some due diligence. These are trades I am making and you can follow along. If you make a winning trade, I do not even expect a bravo or thanks but that’s fine, if you lose on a trade the same difference.. I do not even expect an upvote or reward… The Elite team is aware of the risks and volatility in the market.

Good luck everyone let’s make money. Share trades, ideas here during trading hours. Our main goal here is to make money so I hope we can help eachother. I will be in and out of here as well.

Get ready for a long one! Going to start this with a little (maybe a lot of) back story, over the last 5-6 years there has been a lot of conflict in my family not always directly involving me but always affecting me causing the family I’m in contact with to get smaller and smaller. My dad passed in 2020 and the family fall out was DRAMATIC to say the least, honestly that could be another Reddit post in of itself but I’m still healing from the trauma. Anyway, that resulted in me going no contact with nearly my dad’s entire family except his two sisters. One I love dearly but am not close with and the other, his youngest sister is like my own sister more than an aunt. We are close in age, have children similar ages, etc. I’m closer to her more than anyone in the world. Now on to my mom… my parents were divorced for about 3.5 years prior to my dads passing, and over the last 6 years her parents also passed and she lost contact with all of her other family… she is virtually alone. I love my mom, it breaks my heart and to make matters worse… I moved to another country 6 months after my dad died.
So let’s get it straight that I have TWO people to call family on my side really and truly. Along side my little brother who cannot be counted on and my aunt who lives a coast away from the rest of my family. A very small family for me now compared to the large family I grew up with…
Let me assure you also that my mom is stilll very much young at 50yo and healthy. She also has had a busy dating life and currently a steady boyfriend… so she’s not some poor old woman wasting away. So. While I’ve been living away I’ve given birth to both of my children… my mom’s first grandchildren and her also being the only grandparent on my side, her seeing them has been very important to me. I have gone to visit once a year and helped her come visit me once . Every visit is a disaster and I manage to disappoint my mom in some way or another even though…. I’m the one traveling across an ocean alone with babies! But still I try. When she came to visit me… it was in 2022 just a week after my son was born… I had gotten really sick after birth, and was in the hospital for a week and then had to go to the hospital daily getting iv meds.. it was a scary and traumatic time and I was so thankful to have my mom there…. Except she cried everyday about how I forced her to travel to another country alone and how we aren’t even doing anything….. again I was sick and just a week post partum… I bit my tongue and was very accommodating but did ask her to take a train/bus to and from the airport because it was far and didn’t want to be alone with both children for extended time due to being sick and weak… I thought this was perfectly reasonable considering she’s an able bodied adult who can read a book or listen to music during a trip and allow my husband to stay home and support me.
Flash forward to a recent trip home… I originally proposed this trip just me and my two children and to stay with my mom( again even though my family is small, it’s important to me she sees my kids) however my husband now has the opportunity with work to come with me…. Great now I don’t have to fly alone with two toddlers! When my in laws find out (by the way they have come to visit us twice and they live pretty far away on the opposite coast my family lives on) they decide they want to come too… meaning they’re gonna fly out an visit my coast so we can have a big family trip with both our families. I tell my mom nervously because I know she can be irritated by things like this but she acts excited for the trip still! So my MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL, and two nieces all fly out and get beach rental just a few houses down from where my mom lives. When the time comes it works out that we were there 2 days before and 2 days after my in laws and they’re there for 6 days in the middle. The way I planned it in my head was that we’d spend the first two days with my mom and the last two, as well as sometime with just my in laws in the middle while my mom worked and some combined time all together. And we were also staying with my mom so we were often together in the evenings as well. Sounds great, right? No.
The morning of my in-laws last day… she was acting weird, slamming doors, not coming up to say good morning like usual and then just getting in her car to leave for work. I stepped outside to wave bye and share barely acknowledged me, and I knew I was in for it. That day we took the kids to the park and I was feeling sad my mom couldn’t be there to join us and also sad that she was upset, so I sent her and I love you text.. to which I got “I made plans for tonight don’t worry about me”. Oh. Okay. I thought she’d join us for dinner to see my in laws off but no, she’d made plans. Fair enough but in comes the onslaught of texts. Of how I was constantly choosing to spend time with my in-laws over her, even though she was invited along every time aside from when she was at work… but she declined. She was so upset about this she told me she didn’t want to see us the rest of the trip… meaning the last full two days I had planned to dedicate to her… canceled… because essentially she didn’t want to go to the aquarium one day with all of us and want time to us all by herself and she didn’t come out and say it… and sorry my kids love the aquarium and it was raining so a great activity. But for her the value of the trip came down to the one specific moment and get this… she really wants me to know she’s still upset I made her come to Spain two years ago. I continued to try to reason with her but she threw insults that I feel can never taken back, she continuously called and yelled at me till I ended up blocking her for some peace. And moved our stuff over to my aunts for our last days. I did unblock her so she could calmly reach back out after 24 hours. Which she did and asked to see the kids and say goodbye, to which I agreed. We did have a very nice talk which resolved the tensions. But I’m left feeling really hurt by her insults… and a comment she kept making over and over “I’ll always just be your mom to you and that’s not fair” - i understand she is more than a mom but to me she is my mom and I largely still need her to be my mom because she’s the only parent I have left so I just don’t know how to treat her differently. I’m left wondering am I not treating her the way I should be? How should I be treating her in a way that is “not just my mom”? Did I spend to much time with my in-laws? I’m feeling really uneasy about our relationship and wondering am I the asshole here??? Or do I need to just set some boundaries and stand firm?