Og cheats for ipod touch

for context we are 17 and 18 and i had already been having troubles in our relationship,like i felt like he wasn’t rlly being honest w me and he never put in effort into seeing me. It seemed like things where getting better we had spend the last weekends together and he had planned stuff and i slept over. We even decided to share our passwords on instagram. When i logged into his account i wnet through it and found something that scared me on his instagram link history (Shows u every link you click on.) We had talked abt corn ( the other word) multiple times before and he said he didn’t watch it at all anymore. But what i found on his instagram link history showed that every single day he is going to multiple accounts on vsco ( a photo app) of random girls from his school.Think popular pretty girls. I also saw only fan accounts. So our entire relationship while we were having sx he has also been touching him self to other girls he knows in real life from his school every single day. I know it’s unrealistic for a boy to not jerk off but i can’t see him the same way knowing he was jerking off to girls he knows in real life while telling me he loved me and having sx with me and asking me for n*des. He says almost every guy does this But i don’t believe every guy has a roster of girls from his school to jerk off to every day . He even has attempted sewerslide after i found out and tried to break up with him ( just happened two hours ago) and i had to get one of his friends to see if he was alive ( he is ) I feel awful throwing away a 6 month relationship over jerking off but i can’t imagine my self touching my self to boys from my school and lying to him about not watching corn for months . It feels like he has been cheating on me every day and lying to me but he says it isn’t cheating to him because he doesn’t even view them as people just as corn. Should i break up with him?

I was in a relationship for 5 years, 3 years in we had a daughter. My partner and I were really disconnected and had large boundaries from both of our families for valid reasons I’ll touch on a bit later . My ex partner, 2 year old and I lived together in our own house we rented until we split up. After 5 years went by and after having a child my partner cheated on me with a 60 year old and walked away from us and the affair had gotten my ex (daughter’s mom) involved into a cult which drove her mad. Little to say I have full custody and my daughters mom and hasn’t been around for 2 years now. Needless to say, I’m 25 and I’m still building my career in life so I don’t make crazy amount of money (can’t afford daycare, rent ,and living costs a lone). This had forced me to reach out to my abusive mother for a living arrangement (only family I have) , who struggles with a narcissistic personality and suffers from Borderline personality disorder and who had mentally abused me at a very young age .I go through a tough breakup and I lose my inner family, , just to have to move into my controlling mothers home with my 3 year old . My mom has phases where she is a great person but also has weeks or days where she a horrible person, almost like I’m not her son and my child isn’t her granddaughter I’m sure this falls into having BPD. I’m struggling mentally and I know my child needs me mentally present. I’ve tried having serious convos with my mom about my mental health and our relationship/ possibly having counseling to improve our relationship but she takes it as a joke/bullies and only blames me. My mom watches my 3 year old while I’m at work ( I do pay her) but she doesn’t seem very attentive to her, meaning my mom will sit on her phone while my child will self entertain. The moment I get home from work my mom kicks up her feet and she no longer helps me with anything which I can understand because she isn’t her parent and she isn’t obligated too. I work hvac construction so I’m fairly tired when I get home (in a 120°F attic most of the time). My mom doesn’t abide by any of my parenting rules , so naturally my child looks at me like I’m bad cop and even calls me mean from time to time and has grandma syndrome . I feel like I’m losing my patience way more and it’s hard to focus on my day to day life due to these distractions . I have no idea what to do besides when my daughter turns 4 this fall get her enrolled in school and find an apartment and cut my mother off. Any suggestions?

I was in a relationship for 5 years, 3 years in we had a daughter. My partner and I were really disconnected and had large boundaries from both of our families for valid reasons I’ll touch on a bit later . My ex partner, 2 year old and I lived together in our own house we rented until we split up. After 5 years went by and after having a child my partner cheated on me with a 60 year old and walked away from us and the affair had gotten my ex (daughter’s mom) involved into a cult which drove her mad. Little to say I have full custody and my daughters mom and hasn’t been around for 2 years now. Needless to say, I’m 25 and I’m still building my career in life so I don’t make crazy amount of money (can’t afford daycare, rent ,and living costs a lone). This had forced me to reach out to my abusive mother for a living arrangement (only family I have) , who struggles with a narcissistic personality and suffers from Borderline personality disorder and who had mentally abused me at a very young age .I go through a tough breakup and I lose my inner family, , just to have to move into my controlling mothers home with my 3 year old . My mom has phases where she is a great person but also has weeks or days where she a horrible person, almost like I’m not her son and my child isn’t her granddaughter I’m sure this falls into having BPD. I’m struggling mentally and I know my child needs me mentally present. I’ve tried having serious convos with my mom about my mental health and our relationship/ possibly having counseling to improve our relationship but she takes it as a joke/bullies and only blames me. My mom watches my 3 year old while I’m at work ( I do pay her) but she doesn’t seem very attentive to her, meaning my mom will sit on her phone while my child will self entertain. The moment I get home from work my mom kicks up her feet and she no longer helps me with anything which I can understand because she isn’t her parent and she isn’t obligated too. I work hvac construction so I’m fairly tired when I get home (in a 120°F attic most of the time). My mom doesn’t abide by any of my parenting rules , so naturally my child looks at me like I’m bad cop and even calls me mean from time to time and has grandma syndrome . I feel like I’m losing my patience way more and it’s hard to focus on my day to day life due to these distractions . I have no idea what to do besides when my daughter turns 4 this fall get her enrolled in school and find an apartment and cut my mother off. Any suggestions?

I was in a relationship for 5 years, 3 years in we had a daughter. My partner and I were really disconnected and had large boundaries from both of our families for valid reasons I’ll touch on a bit later . My ex partner, 2 year old and I lived together in our own house we rented until we split up. After 5 years went by and after having a child my partner cheated on me with a 60 year old and walked away from us and the affair had gotten my ex (daughter’s mom) involved into a cult which drove her mad. Little to say I have full custody and my daughters mom and hasn’t been around for 2 years now. Needless to say, I’m 25 and I’m still building my career in life so I don’t make crazy amount of money (can’t afford daycare, rent ,and living costs a lone). This had forced me to reach out to my abusive mother for a living arrangement (only family I have) , who struggles with a narcissistic personality and suffers from Borderline personality disorder and who had mentally abused me at a very young age .I go through a tough breakup and I lose my inner family, , just to have to move into my controlling mothers home with my 3 year old . My mom has phases where she is a great person but also has weeks or days where she a horrible person, almost like I’m not her son and my child isn’t her granddaughter I’m sure this falls into having BPD. I’m struggling mentally and I know my child needs me mentally present. I’ve tried having serious convos with my mom about my mental health and our relationship/ possibly having counseling to improve our relationship but she takes it as a joke/bullies and only blames me. My mom watches my 3 year old while I’m at work ( I do pay her) but she doesn’t seem very attentive to her, meaning my mom will sit on her phone while my child will self entertain. The moment I get home from work my mom kicks up her feet and she no longer helps me with anything which I can understand because she isn’t her parent and she isn’t obligated too. I work hvac construction so I’m fairly tired when I get home (in a 120°F attic most of the time). My mom doesn’t abide by any of my parenting rules , so naturally my child looks at me like I’m bad cop and even calls me mean from time to time and has grandma syndrome . I feel like I’m losing my patience way more and it’s hard to focus on my day to day life due to these distractions . I have no idea what to do besides when my daughter turns 4 this fall get her enrolled in school and find an apartment and cut my mother off. Any suggestions?

I was in a relationship for 5 years, 3 years in we had a daughter. My partner and I were really disconnected and had large boundaries from both of our families for valid reasons I’ll touch on a bit later . My ex partner, 2 year old and I lived together in our own house we rented until we split up. After 5 years went by and after having a child my partner cheated on me with a 60 year old and walked away from us and the affair had gotten my ex (daughter’s mom) involved into a cult which drove her mad. Little to say I have full custody and my daughters mom and hasn’t been around for 2 years now. Needless to say, I’m 25 and I’m still building my career in life so I don’t make crazy amount of money (can’t afford daycare, rent ,and living costs a lone). This had forced me to reach out to my abusive mother for a living arrangement (only family I have) , who struggles with a narcissistic personality and suffers from Borderline personality disorder and who had mentally abused me at a very young age .I go through a tough breakup and I lose my inner family, , just to have to move into my controlling mothers home with my 3 year old . My mom has phases where she is a great person but also has weeks or days where she a horrible person, almost like I’m not her son and my child isn’t her granddaughter I’m sure this falls into having BPD. I’m struggling mentally and I know my child needs me mentally present. I’ve tried having serious convos with my mom about my mental health and our relationship/ possibly having counseling to improve our relationship but she takes it as a joke/bullies and only blames me. My mom watches my 3 year old while I’m at work ( I do pay her) but she doesn’t seem very attentive to her, meaning my mom will sit on her phone while my child will self entertain. The moment I get home from work my mom kicks up her feet and she no longer helps me with anything which I can understand because she isn’t her parent and she isn’t obligated too. I work hvac construction so I’m fairly tired when I get home (in a 120°F attic most of the time). My mom doesn’t abide by any of my parenting rules , so naturally my child looks at me like I’m bad cop and even calls me mean from time to time and has grandma syndrome . I feel like I’m losing my patience way more and it’s hard to focus on my day to day life due to these distractions . I have no idea what to do besides when my daughter turns 4 this fall get her enrolled in school and find an apartment and cut my mother off. Any suggestions?

This is going to be a long one so heads up.
A bit of back story; I started dating my husband when I was 15. I chased this boy thorugh hell and back just to get a chance. Problems between us were immediate but didn't seem significant at the time. A few months into our relationship he had an adult "friend" that was telling him he needed to get control of me or "put me in my place" (referencing he should hit me). He didn't but the ego it gave him was a hard battel. 8 months into our relationship my mother forced me to move states because I was starting the process of emancipation and she didn't like that. I was still going through with it, it was just a buffer. 2 weeks after I left he was flirting with my friends. We were on and off for 3 months long distance before I said I had enough. When my emancipation was complete (6 months after I moved and about 3 months after we officially split) I let him know because we were still in touch. It was a few days after that he decided he wanted to try things again and came to me. Just a few days of being with me he decided he wanted to go home, with or without me. I reluctantly agreed to go with him even though I was comfortable where I was. We stayed in a trailer for months in the snow with no power or heat but I toughed it out. Eventually we moved in with his family. During that time he broke up with me multiple times to mess aground with other girls. We ended up moving again and he would be gone all the time hanging out with his friends. There were nights I would beg him, crying, for him to just come home and he would refuse We ended up moving again and spent some time with my family (i was 17). 3 days in he called his mom to have someone pick him up. He regretted it and I went and picked him up and brought him back. A few months after that he decided to leave again. 3 days later I was feeling weird. I just had an odd feeling, I didn't miss my period or anything but I had a friend get me a pregnancy test anyway. It came out positive. I didn't want kids, I never did. But I decided to keep the baby because he wanted to. He promised a better life. So he comes and picks me up and we move back in with his family. Everything was going great. Then I miscarried. After the miscarriage he was upset, he was really excited about having a kid. We talk about it and he talked me into trying for one on purpose, his family agreed with this. He promised to drop the weed, drop the beer, get a job and work his ass off for us. That never really happened. So here I am 17, and 5 months pregnant, he has 3 tall cans of beer in his system and starts being an ass. We get into it and he lays his hands on me. I locked him out of the room that night. So he finally drops the alcohol for good. We end up moving again. We got married the day I turned 18 because of his religious family. We fought about the weed and he "quit". But in reality he was just doing it behind my back. He would get mad at me for calling people out on their fake service dogs (I have a service dog and the fakes put me at great risk). He held a job for a really long time, making good money, and spoiling the shit out of me. Eventually we argue about the weed again. I almost left but he said he wouldn't be doing it anymore. Then again we argue about the weed, this time I agree to let him have dab carts. 2 a week. He ended up with between 3-5 a week. Things were really good for a long time after that.
Keep in mind everything I listed was not the entire relationship. Between all these bad moments there are lots of great ones. I have thousands of happy pictures and videos of us.
Now to recently. We moved back to our hometown. He spent a lot of time hanging out with his buddies and leaving me with the baby. He started smoking flower again and had the sudden urge to drink again. I was alone 90% of the time. So where do I go? I have a boy best friend that has been through hell and back with me since the first day of middle school. So I spent a lot of time hanging out with him while my husband was off fucking around like a child. Then the weird questions came in. "Are you doing anything with him while I'm gone?" "Your not cheating on me right?" Ect. No I wasn't. About a week ago I told my bsf I was picking him up from work. While I was in the parking lot waiting my husband calls insiting I pick him up first. I told him no because I didn't have room in the car for both and I was already there waiting. Well that started this whole fit about how asking him to wait 10 minutes was prioritizing my bsf over my husband. Eventually we get to my friends house, and my husband was waiting for us. He was just talking shit and being an ass for 20 minutes before he decided to leave in MY CAR. We argue over text for a while and then he tells me he's done with me. Fine. I give up. I don't care anymore. Then 30 minutes later he's accusing me of cheating with my bsf. He has told all his friends and family that I'm a hoe (my body count is 2 including him and the other one is NOT my bsf). My bsf has been doing his best to take care of me and help me out. Feeding me, taking over the baby, putting gas in my car, letting me stay the night. He's been a life saver for me.
Now it's a week later and he's asking if there is a chance we can work things out in the future... I love him I really do. He has lots of issues tho but so do I. My BPD makes me hard to handle sometimes as do my other mental and health problems.
I'm sure I know what the answer is already but what do I do? I'm a mess.

Hi everyone,
I woke up this morning from a dream where my husband had many secrets, lied and cheated on me. Obviously this was just a dream but it brought back some horrible feelings from another circumstance.
My husband and I have been together for almost 12 years, we’ve known each other for like 15-16 years. At the end of 2019 he had an emotional affair with another woman who actually didn’t live in the same country but her family lives in the same city as us and she was visiting for the holidays. I met her briefly and then my husband hung out with her once, however that once turned into multiple times throughout the time she was here (about 2 months). I was working in retail so I was really busy with holiday sales and I wasn’t able to take off time off like my husband did (office job). I started to feel weird about the whole thing and got kind of jealous. I didn’t feel super comfortable saying anything at that time though but he knew. We ended up all going out one night to a club and it was the worst. I was jealous and tired and ended up in the bathroom crying at the club. This was right before NYE. On NYE my husband took me to the side and told me he had feelings for her and I just froze. We had been married for 7 years at that point. I guess part of me was glad he told me but I was heartbroken. We went home and I kind of just shut down. After this revelation he still hung out with her, and even went on a fancy date with her, dropping her off at home and hanging out for many hours after talking. I tried to impose myself and told him well I want to come and he kind of was like no. I called him that night at like 3am to be like where the fuck are you? And they were still hanging out I guess he was too drunk to drive… he came back late that night and tried to apologize but I firmly let him know to not touch or talk to me. This was in early 2020 at this point. It was the last time they saw each other as she was leaving in a few days and he had a work trip. They still talked online for a while after but I think he knew how I felt about it and they stopped talking. I think she ended up blocking him and that’s that. I do feel like he never apologized for certain things though but whatever. Oh and during this whole time she followed me on Instagram too and we chatted now and then, I liked her until I didn’t anymore but I kind of kept her around because I didn’t trust her and I felt empowered by the fact that she blocked my husband but not me. She ended up moving home during the pandemic and that’s when I got a little crazy. She ended up unfollowing me at some point but I couldn’t let go. I made a secret Instagram and followed her on there just so I can see what she’s up to. She doesn’t post very much and she’s got a bf from what I gather but every now and then I think about this and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know my husband didn’t physically cheat on me but he probably would have at some point if she would have been living here.
This brings me to another message I found recently in his notes to a mystery woman saying how hot she was and how he hasn’t been with anyone else but me since his twenties but he would be open to having some “fun”. However I couldn’t find this message anywhere in his txts or dms. We have talked about polyamory and open relationships but I don’t really want that.
Ok I’m sorry about this very long story but this dream really shook me this morning.
I’m not looking for advice I just needed to get this off my chest.

I’m going to try to start from the beginning and not leave a lot out and hopefully I get some feedback on what to do or how I can move forward with my situation.
So me and my girlfriend me(22m) her (24f) have been dating for almost 2 years and have a 3 month old daughter. Our relationship was perfect in the beginning couldn’t complain about anything she was perfect we were perfect. Well a couple months into our relationship I noticed her getting distant and not wanting to cuddle or touch me in general(this was before she was pregnant) so I brought it up to her and she said she just doesn’t like physical touch, but in the beginning it was like she couldn’t get her hands off me and I love physical touch or just being in the same vicinity as her so I was clueless as to why all of a sudden she didn’t want to touch or even hug me anymore. When we first started dating I moved in her apartment and she was almost 2 months behind in rent, she was a 1099 self employed cna, well her shifts kept getting denied and she didn’t have money to pay for rent or any bills, so I took some money out of my saving and helped heus out and got us back on our feet and in a good position atleast I had thought so, she finally found a job that was full time and it was a cna job but she quit after 2 days because she didn’t like it, meanwhile I was working a low paying job and couldn’t pay all our bills by myself and I asked her on more than one occasion to try and get a job that way she could help out and she finally got a job and she helped for maybe one month but she didn’t work, she cheated the system and would clock in then come home and then drive back to work before her shift was supposed to end and clock out and would forge a signature on paperwork to get paid, she did this for maybe 2 weeks before they took the gig down, she didn’t get into trouble but she was now out of a job. Well shortly afterwards we found out she was pregnant and this is when I would beg her to get a job. I ended up getting hurt at work and lost my job, so now we were both jobless and near eviction. We got evicted from our apartment and we lied and somehow got a bigger apartment than our old one and of course was more expensive. I asked her multiple times to get a job and she couldn’t/wouldn’t. She used the excuse “high risk pregnancy” which she wasn’t at all high risk, I went to every appointment with her and held her hand the whole way but I wasn’t being rude or mean to her because however she felt the baby felt aswell(least that’s what I thought). So I got job after job each job being a better paying job and tried to support the 2 of us with my daughter on the way. Well I eventually got a decent job and my girlfriend was still jobless and she decided on her own to sell her car to help pay rent/bills because we were behind 2 months again, she paid one month and used the rest of the money roughly $2,000 on our daughters nursery and small things for herself. She was 9months pregnant and we had to move back into my parents house, I had a very unreliable truck at the time and used it to move all our stuff in 19 trips with each trip being 2hr drives, me being the only one to lift things because she was pregnant, we finally got everything settled and my daughter was born shortly after that. I ended up getting a very good job where we used to live an hour away, and I needed a more reliable vehicle to get back and forth to work and my daughters appointments. Tried finding my girlfriend a vehicle but how the whole situation at the dealership went was not how I expected nor how I wanted but I ended up getting a truck. It’s more reliable than my other one, anyways she was upset I didn’t get her a vehicle and constantly blames me for her having to sell her car. We are always arguing about money/my truck/my job/still not getting any attention from her physically. I slept on our couch and the floor in our bedroom for 8months in total. She co slept with our daughter for the longest and didn’t want me on the bed because I am a heavy sleeper, understandable. Didn’t argue about it but now we sleep together same bed and we still don’t cuddle or touch each other in general. I love this girl I really do but she makes it so difficult because I crave this physical affection and I don’t receive it so I have an attitude a lot, I still do everything she asks but I do it with an attitude. Im finally to a point where I think about what life would be like without her and catch myself thinking about this a lot. I hate that I do because deep down I just want to love this girl with everything in me but she makes it so hard and I’m stuck wondering if things will get better if I stay or if I should leave. So my question is what should I do ?
P.s. she won’t let my mother hold our daughter because the stories I have told my girlfriend from when I was growing up but my mother has taken responsibility for her actions and has done better but my girlfriend doesn’t care. My mom has come to terms she will never know her granddaughter and they live in the same house…. There’s a lot more stuff that could be said but I’m leaving somethings out. but i don’t think this post will even get any attention if it does I’ll give the full story from start till now.

Im basically looking for an android device with wifi that's not a phone and that is smaller than a note 20 to use YouTube music and the 3 workout apps I use to track workouts (bod bot, Google fit and Garmin). I just need wifi to download the music from YouTube music for offline.
My phone is too bulky and I get too distracted from calls and texts while working out.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
edit I guess I'm looking for a device similar to an ipod touch but is android.. Does that exist?

Freshman year of college I was really good friends with a kid. My roommate introduced me. We had good times. I introduced him into my friend group and he made some of his best friends in said group. We went out together and it was cool
Anyways, there was some turbulence but nothing I thought was over the top. Until one day last year at a party. There was some shoving in the sense that for whatever reason the entire mosh pit was falling onto me and it pushed me to a corner (it was a small room but there was enough space for everyone to fit, the issue was literally being ass first on a wall and having no space to move cuz of people falling on me). Overwhelmed, I shoved back. I wouldn’t do it again. Anyways, I was yelled at to stop. I did. I was accused of continuing shoving afterwards. Luckily, one of my friends was there and he said I stopped shoving after I was told to stop. In the moment, I got overwhelmed and just left. When I got back home I apologized to my friends and I have never made any decision of the sort again.
My friend (who invited me to the party) got mad and told me he was yelled at for inviting me because of my continuous shoving (again, I stopped when I was told to stop, and I did it maybe twice). He was a little cold towards me but we still hung out with friends and we still kept in touch.
Over the summer he went to the marine corps so I didn’t really have any contact. However, he reached out to me before the school year because I was at a soccer game and he is a big soccer fan (posted on my story). Talked a bit, he was again off of his phone cuz he still was with the marine corps.
Over winter break, OG Anonoby got traded to the Knicks. I made a joke on my private story about it, since the pistons beat the raptors and ended their historic losing streak. My friend responded angry about it on Snapchat (very big raptors fan). I took it as a joke, especially since my wizards are trash too. That’s the last convo we ever had
He ended up unfollowing my socials, unadding my Snapchat, etc. after this. i think the party thing I mentioned earlier is the culprit, but idk (I don’t think the pistons beating the raptors is the culprit lol). I feel like if he didn’t want to talk to me ever he wouldn’t be the one reaching out. He definitely did get cold towards the end of last year, but I was also in a pretty low place so I didn’t think too much about it. I noticed it, but my friends also told me that he’d been getting cold towards them as well and that he just told them to leave it be.
It’s been over a year. He talked to some friends in that friend group (all of which are still friends with me now) to let them know he was back during the 2nd semester of this year. He didn’t reach out to me. He reached out to one of my friends who told me that he didn’t talk to since that party (more or less).
I keep going back to that party, but maybe there’s more? I was pretty vulnerable with him (but he was also very vulnerable with me too). It felt like a very give and take friendship.
I honestly am just kinda upset because I thought he was a friend, but I guess not. I really don’t know what to think about the situation. In what I gave there may be some social cues that even I have missed out on, but I really don’t know.

background information: For privacy reasons my best friends name will be mark and boyfriends name Leo and I will not disclose age.
At the beginning of the school year, I met Mark, my now guy best friend through our schools chior program. He was the new kid and didn't seem to have any friends, so me and my few friends invited him to eat with us and what not. At the time I was single and not dating my current boyfriend, Leo. And as time went on, me and Mark became quite close, sharing food, water, sometimes clothes, just around that general area. He also seems to like physical touch as much as I do so that made me feel safe and happy around him as well. time skip to my schools ACDA chior festival, and I am now dating my current partner, Leo. On the way to another school a few hours away, we sat together. And closer to the end I was bored and just went on my phone, when he lightly bumped heads with me to see what i was doing and my first instinct was to kiss his head so I acted on it. But the thing was, Mark let it happen. I kind of just brushed it off. Then throught the day we would latch onto eachothers arms since there was a lot of people and didn't want to get sepperated. And I don't want it to seem like I am cheating 'cause I'm not, It is just that my boyfriend is a very socially awkward person and I love him for it, but most of the time it is a little hard to confind in him or just when i want attention since he is not big on physical contact.
I just don't know what to do and will appreciate any tips/advice.

My husband cut out sex with me very early on in our marriage. Not because I didn’t want it but because early on he decided to choose escorts over sex with me. When I found out about the cheating he was remorseful and we have tried reconciling. Almost 2 years in and I am starting to get that gut feeling again. Our sex life and intimacy is gone. I broke down and asked him why and he blames stress from work. It’s hard to believe this as he spent years paying for escorts and on dating apps behind my back. He swears he would never cheat again. He seems to have no problem with us having zero intimacy. He cooks, provides and gives gifts but he can’t even hold my hand. I’m attractive. I work out and I have a good career. I don’t nag, I’m home every night and I do pretty much whatever he wants. I’m losing myself trying to understand why he can’t just tell me why he won’t touch me. I’ve convinced myself he’s cheating again but covering it up better. Any advice would be helpful. I know I sound pathetic so please give me some grace as I really feel lost right now.

I’ve been lurking here for a few years, trying to find ways to deal with my partners extreme mood swings and anger. This is my first post, so if that’s inappropriate, I’m sorry. I'm also sorry if the tone of this post is inappropriate, I just need to get it off my chest with people who may have experienced similar things. I want to also clarify that I know Bpd doesn’t MAKE you an ass, my ex just loved to use his diagnosis as a reason to abuse me and not take accountability for it.
He has a 9/9 presentation and it was constantly taken out on me. For 10 years. I feel like a few months ago I finally got the ick for how he was treating me and then eventually reached my boiling point and we had a blow-out fight a few days ago where I finally screamed and yelled at him. I really got in his face and didn’t let him not respond and just kept yelling. Then when he acted upset and hurt and “scared” by it I quoted him directly and went ”Oh, so I’m just NEVER allowed to be ANGRY?? Can’t ever have a negative emotion?” and he seemed to really not understand that that’s what he says about twice a week while he slams shit around the house and terrifies our pets and me. I can’t tell you how nice it was to let it all out. I don’t even care that I have to pack up 26 years of shit in 30 days because I just feel so awesome about not getting treated like that every day and waking up at 7am to him already being a whiny baby about nothing.
I feel so free. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this relaxed and content in my life. I feel like I was developing more bpd symptoms the longer I endured his treatment and it already feels like it's melting away because I'm just out. I’m not paranoid anymore (cheated on me constantly - my friends literally think his secret gf is pregnant and that’s why he was fucking with me so bad the last few weeks 😂 to get me out of the house and move her in) I feel good about my body, I’m sleeping better than I have in years, and not to be nsfw, but without someone pawing at me 24 hours a day and constantly being vulgar towards me I FINALLY feel like my sex drive is coming back. I’ve literally only been out of his house for like 3 days and I already feel like that was months ago. I’m hanging out with new friends and enjoying going on nature walks and exercising without someone leering at me and trying to touch me. I’m excited to see what life is like away from the abuse he put me through constantly. I’m excited to just not be treated like shit and then get blamed for it cause he “can’t help it with his Bpd!” But then also won’t to therapy regularly, won’t take meds, won’t even do a goddamn work book on his own cause it’s “too hard” - as if being around someone who regularly acted like he couldn’t stand me was easy. Literally the only part about this I’m currently feeling negative about is the 3 pets who are used to me being home almost all the time and him working 12 hour shifts + sleep gives him maybe a few hours to care for them properly daily. They will suffer and be lonely and he will probably keep staying out til 2am anyways to get plastered with his divorced alcoholic “friend”that he claims to hate and cut off but always crawls back to, probably because he’s so similar to my exs own mother.
Everything just feels so exciting. I get to find a new place to live and decorate and unpack and organize only how I want to - nothing has to go on top shelves where I can’t reach. I can read without someone saying I’m “intentionally trying to seem busy so we can’t talk” I can watch tv shows and movies without someone walking in and getting butthurt cause they wanna watch it, too, now that I’m 4 seasons in or whatever. I can wear whatever I feel like and no one’s going to be gross about it in my own home. I don’t have to worry when he’s out with friends that they’re talking shit about me and instigating a fight without me even knowing - this spineless and easily swayed, angry man is gone from my life and I am FREE

I tried to get the engagement ring back and I’ve been blocked everywhere….she cheated on me after a 3.5 year relationship. She didn’t show any signs of remorse and chose to end things after ’trying’ to fix things for a week back in early February. Her birthday was last week and I did my very best to not contact her and I didn’t. No gifts letters nothing.
However, I did text her mom happy Mother’s Day and she did respond. We’ve kept in touch with each other and we’ve met once to exchange things.
Last time we’ve talked I asked her for the ring and she said she couldn’t find it. I texted her maybe three weeks ago for it and didn’t respond?
Why does she not want to return the engagement ring back? It wasn’t expensive so it doesn’t have a lot of resale value…maybe 250-300 if that. I just want it for closure. And if maybe she tossed it or whatever , why won’t her mom just say that?

I have an ipod touch 6th gen (A1574) i believe I got it at the end of 2014 or 2015. I think it’s got somewhere around 25-30 gbs. I’m planning on changing the battery soon and loading up all my cds on it. What I want to do is have a way to make sure all of my photos are safe and loaded off the ipod where I can deleted the data and just have it exclusively for music.
My problem is I’m not a tech person at all. I could take apart and put back together a device but have no idea how to use it when it’s on. I only just realized realized thanks to another Reddit user what a cloud and its purpose is. I think all of my photos are on my phone and computer already but I’m not sure if it’s from the cloud or not.
Right now I’m thinking of using the usb to lightning adapter I have and moving the photos/videos on to a drive it then wiping the ipod. I’m just not sure what to do after the the usb would be plugged in. I also tried loading my pictures onto my Mac by making a backup but it only downloaded three random pictures.
If anyone has any tips they could share in a way anyone could understand I would seriously appreciate it. I’ve spent the past few days almost exclusively ripping cds and I’d hate for that time to go to waste.

i love reading about Big Stupid Romantic Gestures on /actuallesbians, because I like to picture myself in the stories and dream that one day I'll have a more poetic life. But also because they're usually uplifting and wholesome, and I need more of that in my life.
so it's kinda incredible, really, that I've finally got one of my own to tell.
Few nights ago, I get in from work, and, as usual, i'm dead on my feet. She, meanwhile, is already home, because she's got a normal schedule for normal people. and as soon as I walk in the door, she jumps up off the couch and takes my hand and says I need to follow her. So I drop my bag and my keys, and - feeling a little panicked - follow her out of my apartment, into the hall, and then down the hall to the stairs at the end (nobody uses the stairs, where the hell are we going?)
we start climbing the stairs. all the way to the top. Up there, behind a bunch of maintenance shit, is a locked door leading out onto the roof (well, one of two roofs, actually). But it's always locked, and always alarmed, so we've never had a chance to use it. Except for this time, because the building manager is there and he's holding it open, smoking a cigarette and looking down at his phone. And like, we're all friends and everything (I've been living in that place for years) so he just gives me a little nod and a smile, and then goes back to tapping away on his fruit combo or whatever. Sliding past him, we go out onto the roof - which is not a safe roof, by the way - and it's cool and breezy and dark; and in the corner, up against some AC duct, there's a wireless sound bar connected to an ipod nano (that's how old we are), playing something vaguely classical and fancy.
and as soon as i look at her, she puts her arm around my waist and we start slow-dancing in the middle of the roof, like we're at a prom or something. And Lukas (not his real name) slinks away and leaves the door wedged open with a bucket full of cigarette butts, so now it's just the two of us (and the people in the adjacent, much taller building) all-alone on the roof. And I'm completely breathless, so I ask her what the hell is going on. What's the occasion? She says no occasion, just that i should 'look up'. And so I do. But all that's up there is a featureless gray sky, blown out by the orange sodium of our neighborhood. She says there's northern lights up there, if you look hard enough. Which is unbelievable, but I believe her anyway. And so I'm squinting and not really seeing it; there's maybe the faintest hint of green, I'm not really sure. And then, like a pot of spilled ink, my eyes adjust and there's this wash of color. Faint and blurry, gone in a second. But I swear I saw it. And I'm like wowww, completely transfixed; and that's when she kisses me and tells me she loves me (i said it back without hesitation, btw) and we start moving in a circle to something slow and orchestral. All while high up above (I assume, because, if im being honest, I didn't see shit) the night sky was shimmering with an otherworldly glow.
After a while, blue danube comes on, which is one of my favorites, and we start twirling to that instead. and it cannot be overstated how bad we are at dancing, but we kept spinning and tip-tapping across the insanely dirty roof for another, I dunno, forty-five minutes before Lukas came back to wrap it all up. And the whole thing was, without question, the best moment of my entire life. No ulterior motive, no surprise announcement, no 'by the way, I ran over your cat earlier, hope this softens the blow' at the end. Just the distant sound of traffic and the crackle of a 128kbps harpsichord over in the corner. We didn't speak a word. I just lay my head on her shoulder, she brushed my hair a little, and halfway through she touched my butt. Chef's kiss perfection, the whole thing.
anyway, that's it. I dunno if anyone cares. but i had to write it down somewhere, just to get it outta my head. also, i think she paid lukas to let us up there, ill ask him when i see him. oh, and in the future, i will completely embellish this story to have us dancing a step-perfect waltz to a crystal-clear aurora in the shape of our faces. but for now, it was just a clumsy night in the city. and i liked it. she's the best.

M (21m) and I (24f) have been dating for 7 months. He’s the first guy I’ve ever had real, true feelings for that have lasted. This is what I would consider to be the only serious relationship I’ve ever had.
Things were great from the outset; lots of loving words and actions, quality time spent together, non sexual and sexual physical affection, frequent communication. We met each other one night through mutual friends and hit it off instantly, and then never stopped seeing each other after that. One month into knowing each other we made things official, and now it’s been just over 7 months of us being together.
Prior to a couple months ago, our relationship was near perfect from my perspective, with only a few issues. M and his friends are all weekly drinkers on the weekend, and there have been a handful of occasions where he would be out drinking heavily and then say or do something that made me concerned, then just drop contact with me. On one occasion he went to some strangers house party that he met downtown at 4am after all of his other friends left and went home. He ended up getting stuck in the city (where neither of us live) with a dead phone and I was up all night trying to get ahold of him and ensure his safety. This did cause some contention each time but I am admittedly very people-pleasey and downplayed to him how upset and frustrated I was with him in each of these situations. He was very genuinely apologetic each time and there haven’t been many similar instances since. I want to be clear as well that I have zero concern that these involved cheating or that he has ever cheated. Our relationship has otherwise been near perfect.
Fast forward to now and the last few months. M works in the trades field for a shitty but well paying company that overstaffs their job sites to get them more tax dollars. As a result, many people that work there end up having nothing to do and are essentially told to make themselves look busy. He has been fortunate for most of his time there, in that he’s been on job sites where there is actually work to do. A few months ago though, he was moved to a different department, and has spent nearly every shift with almost nothing to do but stare at his phone and try not to be caught. This might sound like someone’s dream but it’s not his, nor would it be mine. It’s caused him to feel aimless and unfulfilled, which has led to him becoming depressed.
He is someone that has never dealt with depression or any mental illness before, and has understandably been struggling. I on the other hand have, and have worked in the mental health field my entire career, so I have been doing absolutely everything I can to be the most supportive girlfriend to him. Around the time he felt himself becoming depressed, he started to become distant; not answering my texts for much longer periods of time, not seeming present when we were together, and being much less affectionate as a whole, both verbally and physically.
The one thing that didn’t change though was his desire for sex. We’ve always had good sex and have compatible sex drives. Prior to a few months ago, I wanted to jump his bones all the time because I felt wanted by him. And by that I don’t mean physically desired, i mean that I felt seen by him and appreciated as a person. With the changes in his personality that coincided with when he started to feel depressed, I haven’t felt this way. There were many instances in the last few months where he would hardly be romantic or affectionate in any capacity UNTIL we were in a situation where sex was an option. Then he would start kissing me and touching me, and it was plainly obvious that it was because he wanted to have sex. I would often go along with it, even if I wasn’t in the mood, in an effort to feel close to him. Unsurprisingly it instead began to make me feel empty, used and disconnected from him.
I initially gently communicated this to him a little over a month ago, he apologized and changed his behaviour for a week or so, and then it went back to just as it was. I held it in until I couldn’t anymore, and then a couple weeks ago, I told him more assertively how I was feeling and how I felt him to be behaving. He apologized sincerely, voiced that he didn’t even realize what he was doing, and then really opened up to me about how what he’s experiencing right now has been affecting every facet of his life, and how he hates the impact it has had on him and me. Since then, he has been making a real, very clear effort to be more communicative, more loving in his words, and more affectionate non sexually.
My issue now is one that is frustrating me. I can’t help but still feel the way I felt a couple of weeks ago, where I felt disregarded by him and used. I feel distant from him, and the ways he’s behaving now feels fake and forced to me. When he kisses me while we’re cooking or something, it feels like he’s only doing it because of what I brought up, not because it’s coming from a place of real desire to. When he texts me that he loves me, I again, feel that it’s driven by the conversation I had from him. I know he still feels depressed and is trying to make an effort to be a better boyfriend, but I can’t help but still feel put off by his behaviour from over the last couple of months, and unconvinced that his new behaviour is coming from a place of truly wanting to be affectionate.
TLDR: boyfriend of 7 months became distant a couple months ago, around the time he started feeling depressed from his job. Relationship prior to this was great. With this depressed state he stopped ever really being affectionate outside of the context of sex, and it began to make me feel really used. After communicating this a couple times, he began making a clear effort to be more loving and affectionate. I can’t shake now though that his loving words and actions feels insincere and that it’s being driven by the conversation I had with him, rather than out of a real desire to be close to me.
How do I stop feeling this way? I want to accept that he’s doing the best he can now, but I just feel this sense of disconnect from him that I can’t shake.

Here is an article I recently published on my Substack. If you'd rather read (or listen to an audio version) it outside of Reddit, you can do so here.
Why jump rope isn’t already touted as a leading running drill tool is completely beyond me. But then again…
I'm by no means an "experienced runner"—having started running in 2021 at the age of 34. So, at the time of this writing, about 3 years.
Despite this, I managed to silver-medal my age group in my first race ever.
And it was a 10k. And I was wearing barefoot-shoes.
And I had only been running before that race for about 3 months.
How the heck did I manage to pull this off?
The answer eluded me for a while. Then I remembered—ah, I’ve been jumping rope nearly every day for 2 years.
But how do those connect?
But first, why the heck would some guy start jumping rope at age 32?
About 2 years before I started running, I took up jump rope really just as a fun outdoor hobby.
Even though I was pretty inactive and a bit overweight, that’s not the reason I started skippin’.
One day, I came across some footage of boxer Lulu Hawton doing some jump rope training.
In addition to her seemingly effortless rope handling skills and rhythmic footwork, what caught my eye was a giant grin that spread across her face about 45 seconds into the video. While she was probably skipping to warm up for a match or a training session, something was abundantly clear.
She was having a blast.
And this was from a prize fighter! None of the usual boxer mean-mugging—she looked more like a kid on a carousel.
So, after buying a $10 jump rope on Amazon, I took to the driveway in my swim trunks (yes, I was so inactive, I didn’t own gym shorts).
And…whoo, did I suck.
After a few months of making puddles of sweat in my driveway as well as wheezing sounds so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t whistle EMS, I eventually got pretty decent at it.
And I lost about 45 pounds in 6 months—probably also from making some lifestyle changes merely to make jump rope less of a slog. Not the original plan, but hey, not too shabby.
After about a year, I found myself constructively critiquing other people’s beginner jump rope videos.

• “Unlock your boxer skip. Then you’ll be able to skip forever without getting tired.”
• “Here’s how to do Double-Unders, though they’re overrated.”
• “You’re skipping like it hurts. Relax and skip easy. Smile every once in a while and you’ll feel it all over.”

But how did that turn into running?
Though jumping rope is inherently enjoyable, 30-minute skipping sessions of staring at the wall without something in your headphones can be a bit drab.
One fateful day, about 2 years into being student of the jump rope, I began listening to the book Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.
Even before I got to the end of the book, running—just like jump rope— sounded fun**.**
Yeah, I know that sounds counterintuitive—unless you’ve read the book.
“I knew aerobic exercise was a powerful antidepressant, but I hadn’t realized it could be so profoundly mood stabilizing and — I hate to use the word — meditative. If you don’t have answers to your problems after a four-hour run, you ain’t getting them.”
Ok, ok—I’ll bite.
I proceeded to dive into all of the normal “Couch to 5k” running programs I could find and took my jump rope to a nearby park with a 1k walking path—sprinkling in running between jump rope sessions.
But something wasn’t adding up.
There was a lot of advice about walk-running to build endurance until one could run a block, two blocks, a mile.
Not to brag, but I wasn’t experiencing most beginner snags.
**“Ah, I know why—**I did most of my newbie wind-sucking two years ago!”
This isn’t to say I wasn’t still periodically sucking wind but after two years of consistent boxer skips and double-unders, getting gassed felt like part of the fun and not a medical emergency.
I also felt much springier than the average beginning runner—able to run for miles all over the city in the most minimal of footwear.
And so, I tried my hand at my first race—a donut-themed 10k. And silvered in my age group.
(Ok, there was only two of us…but my time was still respectable. 😂)
Running became an amazingly freeing activity, like getting my driver’s license for my legs.
But I still didn’t understand why running was coming easier to me than the average newcomer.
Digging still deeper, I unearthed another exciting revelation—this time from multi-decade sub-3-hour Boston Marathon runner and one of the foremost running experts on the planet, Dr. Mark Cucuzzella.
“Running with a jump rope is also an amazingly simple drill for posture, balance, and rhythm.”
In other words—form. Overall technique.
Digging a little keeper and experimenting on myself, I discovered just how similar proper running technique and proper jump rope technique were.
Both require:

• An upright, chest-leading, elbows-back, joint-stacked posture
• A soft mid-foot landing directly under your pelvis
• A quick loading and unloading of “leg springs” from your tendons and ligaments to reduce “stickiness” and wasted energy
• A proper supination (roll out) followed by a quick pronation (roll in) of the feet to help launch one’s body
• A steady core without dropping hips from side to side to reduce energy “leakage”

And so many other commonalities. The list unraveled before me on every run.
And like running, without proper technique, jumping rope just doesn’t work—though the consequences are different.
For a jump roper, due to the lower impact, the risk of injury is quite minimal.
Most newbie rope slingers will report sore calves, slightly tender Achilles tendons, and the odd shin splint if they go full Rocky at it. No need to worry, though—most of these injuries see themselves out as the skipper becomes more experienced.
However, for runners, the injury story is more severe.
The next time you’re at a park with a good path, take a seat on a bench and watch the runners. See if you can spot folks reaching far out in front of them with straightened legs—smashing heels into the pavement.
This style of running results in everything from screaming knees, plantar fasciitis, lower back pain, to hips issues.
But why do all of these occur to new runners, but rarely to new jump ropers?
Most new runners commit a major physiological no-no when they begin their running journey: they treat running like fast, aggressive, airborne walking.
“Well, what is it supposed to be?”
Synchronized jumping.
Simply put, proper running is nothing more than a series of coordinated single leg jumps through space with each landing compressing the springs for the next stride.
To compare this synchronized jumping to the aggressive airborne walking of heel-led running, you can test these in just a few seconds.
Step 1: Stand up.
Step 2: Kick off your shoes.
Step 3: Jump up and down three times.
How did you land?
Probably on your mid-foot, knee bent slightly, with your weight stacked above your pelvis.
And did you use your compressed “leg springs” to launch you into the following two jumps?
Oddly enough, if you were to add a jump rope to this, you would on your way to spinning side swings like Lulu Hawton.
If you were to take this same technique one foot at a time moving forward, you would be running in a way that increases speed, preserves stamina (springs!), and drastically decreases your likelihood of injury.
Let’s try the same test with a few tweaks.
This time, jump, but land on your heels.
Your knees probably remained fairly straight and you felt the impact in your ankles, knees, hips, and possibly even your lower back.
Now, imagine attempting to jump rope this way.
It simply doesn’t work.
Not only would there be no second jump due to the lack of spring but the pain would stop you in your tracks—even in cushioned shoes.
But if jump rope technique and proper running technique are nearly identical, what are aggressive heel landings doing in running?
While a jump roper landing on their heels would resemble Frankenstein’s monster in an express lane to an orthopedist, this is how many people perform the aggressive airborne walk—aka, a heel-striking, over-striding run.
But why do we run this way? Well, our shoes let us get away with it.
Thick heel cushioning and a bit of forward momentum do a great job of masking the pain of repeated blows against every joint up the chain—for a while, anyway. Eventually, the chickens come home to roost in the form of stress fractures, meniscus tears, plantar fasciitis, “runner’s knee,” IT-band syndrome, and more.
Not to brag (and maybe to knock on some wood), I have never experienced any of these injuries in my three years of running.
Is this because I’m some kind of running genius with all of the cheat codes? Haha, I wish! It’s simply sheer luck that I started out with jumping rope before running—an activity that shares the same injury-preventing techniques.
So, are the shoes totally to blame? No.
It is possible to run with proper form in shoes with raised, cushioned heels. But it’s not as easy.
When your heel is totally cushioned, you will be able to run with a heel strike in the same way you can hit your head against a brick wall while wearing a football helmet. And in both instances, it will eventually become less about the forces outside of the foam and more about the forces inside the cushion against each other that do the most damage.
“So, how can getting a jump rope help me become a better runner?”
Jump rope is a tremendous training tool for runners for the same reason why running barefoot can also be helpful—the feedback is immediate.
Though running with inefficient and injurious form is possible, the feedback from doing so isn’t so immediate. When it comes to jumping rope, however, you won’t get through too many skips if you don’t learn to utilize the springs in your legs. The rope doesn’t pull punches.
So, get a rope and get started.
If you’re new to jump rope, I would recommend acquiring two pieces of equipment.
Firstly, find a jump rope with a little bit, but not too much, weight to it. The weight will help you feel the position of the rope during it’s entire rotation and remain in better sync with your wrist spins
My favorite rope for this purpose is a 7mm PVC model called the Hererope, which costs a whopping $15. If you find this to be too thick or heavy, a cheap 5mm PVC model will work as well.
Secondly, to protect your rope and provide a nice jumping surface, I would recommend a large foam-rubber exercise mat. My favorite is a massive 78” mat for $32—which is probably the cheapest jump rope mat you will find.
When it comes to footwear, barefoot is ideal. This will help strengthen and mobilize your feet—including your likely overly-supported neglected arches.
And just how does one begin to jump rope?

• Keep a tall posture—imagining a string pulling you up from the crown of your head.
• Your chest should open, elbows back, hands about a fist’s width from your pockets.
• Jump from the balls of your feet, only high enough to clear the rope. When landing, let the skin of your heels “kiss” the floor—touching without taking on weight.
• Keep your knees slightly bent, using every landing to load your springs for the next take-off.
• Keep the cadence quick to maximize spring recoil. To help, listen to a song that’s at about 160 beats per minute, such as the song “Hey Ya” by Outkast (or a song of similar tempo) to get a feel for the speed for skipping rope. (For running, many recommend using “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s for cadence tempo reference.)

Start with short seasons hopping with both feet—maybe 30 seconds on, 30 seconds rest. Aim for minimal muscular activation, instead, using the recoil of your tendons and ligaments for suspension and launch as much as possible.
From jumping with both feet, move onto learning an alternating leg bounce—essentially a jog skip. Right, left, right, left—all while keeping an imaginary belt level with the horizon.
By now, you’re essentially running in place with an extremely efficient technique.
Now, apply your jump rope skills to your running!
This is going to seem quite bizarre, but it is possible (and even beneficial) to take your jump rope for a run.

• Start skipping rope on a road or path with the alternating leg bounce. Remember to keep your elbows back, shoulders relaxed, head pulled up as if tugged skyward by a string from your crown and your imaginary belt level with the horizon.
• Then, as though leaning forward just enough to give someone a kiss or have an imaginary umbilical cord lightly tugged, begin to jump rope forward.
• Remember to continue to land and load on your mid-foot—aiming to keep your weight under your pelvis just like skipping rope. Landing on your heels will likely snag the rope and keep your foot on the ground too long.
• As you proceed with this, remember how it feels—the quick foot turnover, the posture, the recoil in your leg springs, the core stability, and the lightness of it.
• In the middle of doing this, simply toss the handles behind you and keep running as though it was still there—still pretending to spin the handles.
• At a comfortable stopping point, run back to your rope—now using your hands in a wood-chop motion to counter balance your leg bounces while keeping your pelvis (imaginary belt) level and stable.

And there you have it!
You may find it quite helpful to return to this drill once or twice a week. Also if you find your form slipping a bit or becoming slugging mid-run, feel free to skip imaginary rope to try to correct your technique mid-stride. It will restore lightness and springiness to your running.
I still find myself bringing my wrists to my pockets and spinning imaginary jump rope handles if I feel my technique is collapsing a bit or if my running is becoming less springy.
And remember, most importantly—have fun. 👍
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Almost 3 weeks ago I broke up with my bf of 3 years. Not because I didn't love him anymore, but because he treated me really bad. This made me feel alone in the relationship and the trust was gone because of his lies. He is not at all a bad person or evil don't get that from this. After the first year together we wanted to study together but he couldn't get in and I did. The period after I felt very alone and I was trying to fix it all on my own, he didn't really communicate. I ended up emotionally cheating for 1 week because I needed compagnionship. After that we were never the same ever again. This happened 1,5 years ago. In the year after I really had to constantly prove myself and I really improved as a gf, but not to the point I want to get at.
Last august he moved to my parents house to start a study closer to me. I said I didn't want to do long distance anymore or I would break up. I couldn't come to him, I would've done that if that was a possibility. He didn't come up with alternatives or communicate his feelings whats so ever. When he was finally here he barely went to school, didn't do sport or social activities, he only started to work in january and used gaming as a coping mechanism. He neglected the relationship and himself. So after a long period of this and more I decided to end things. My psychologist said I was enabling his depression and I didn't want to do that. So I told him to go back to his own country. Since then he has been even more cold and distant.
We did end things with we love eachother a lot but it wasn't working like this. I asked for a week of space and to call after. We finally called after 1,5 weeks and it didn't go as I hope it would. He said he wanted to give me this call because I never got closure with my previous boyfriend. But he was cold and distant and not very interested in me. He also didn't want to discuss the relationship or certain things that happened. I was relieved with my decision because since he left my life was easier, because I was always trying to make him happy or fix his issues. But I did hope we could become friends after a while or get back together after we both went through therapy. Because we have a lot in common and want the same things in life so I thought maybe then we can make it work then.
I kinda was hoping it could be a really nice emotional talk in which we were both looking forward to the future regardless of what the future is. Becoming friends later on and keeping the door slightly open. But he was distant, he agreed on maybe keeping in touch a bit and like I could maybe visit him after my exams. But he was talking about a closed door and not wanting to be friends when he finds someone else etc. He also dyed his hair and made some new friends. It feels like he did a full 180 on the guy I knew 2 weeks ago. I really thought sending him away and stop enabling his depression would finally make him want to be the boyfriend I needed. But over the phone he said he fell out of love with me after I emotionally cheated and that he loved me less and less over time. But if I think about how it was and when I look at pictures he was definitely still obsessed with me, but mostly physical. I feel like he is completely changed and slipping away from me. I dont know what to do, it feels like my heart is on fire and I cant breath.

The first time, he was on tinder only put pictures with his body showing (he is in great shape) he was on tinder for a year and a half and only met up with one person on the side of the road, at night, going on a run. It took a year for me to ever be intimate with him again. Just recently, these past three months I have finally felt content and I was hopeful for our marriage. I told him I forgive him fully and never loved him more. We have been through a lot of traumatic things together and asked to never hurt me again.
An old friend of mine messaged me a few days ago, with a tinder profile of my husband. This time 7 photos of him fighting and shirtless and in his underwear showing his face. She matched him and she asked about me, he unmatched her. I confronted him he said. That we do not have enough sex and he wanted more and he was only 30% sure he was going to follow through with it and was only on it 4 days before getting caught. He did not try to cheat on me when we had no sex for a year. Suddenly I start having sex with him again and he said it made him want more. I just had a major surgery 4 months ago for a rare compression. I also have more health issues and another medical procedure coming up.
We have a young child together who is very clingy. My husband works 46-50 hour weeks. But we have gotten a lot of financial help from my father’s money who died 3 weeks before my son was born. So he isn’t the only one that contributes to our household. He even had to take my car because he didn’t want to pay to fix his. But still I am grateful and praise him for his hard work. When he gets home, I have eveything taken care of, dinner made so he can just relax for an hour and then we have to get ready for bed. Our child is about to start kindergarten, I told him it will be easier to have some time together then. I also have taught our son to read, write, add, subtract, and he knows his multiplications already before even going to school. I put a lot of my energy into our child. I quit drinking and smoking when I found out I was pregnant and never touched it again. I understand what it’s like to have an itch. I just never acted on mine.
Unfortunately, our sex life is not the greatest. Mostly it consists of oral and hand jobs at most 5 times a week. They are short lived as my son will ask for me. I’m still scared of penetration since he gave me an sti last time that spread to my reproductive organs. But I have had it. I feel like he would cheat regardless, but I still feel at fault. We had a long talk where I got him to stop saying if we had more he would not of looked to cheat, that it was about variety that’s what it was about last time. He also thought if he scratched the itch and actually had a good experience sleeping with other people that he would be able to stop thinking about it. I told him it would do the opposite as when he cheated the last time he had issues getting hard with me.
I feel like an idiot typing this out. He’s a good father. I don’t think I can ever trust him again. Divorce is not an option for me. He now agrees with me and says he is happy he got caught now because he would have made things worse. I can’t help feeling that some of it is my fault though. That I am not giving enough. I asked how much he would need then to not cheat and he said “every day, I don’t know.” And he said it has to be vaginal sex. He can’t even give me straight answers. I don’t think he could have sex everyday with his work schedule and a girl on tinder, but who knows. I don’t know what I’m asking after. Just if anyone can decipher this mess and give me some sort of advice on how to come to terms with this situation.

I have worked for Target for 8 years, I have 4 year prior management experience and 4 years construction experience.
I started out on Inbound and Electronics, I've been a DBO/DPO, backroom team member and am currently working P-fresh, I helped set up the stores ship form store and am the bike buildetrainer, I'm cross trained in every department at my own initiative (including receiving). I worked the truck for 4 years and ran it for 2 (while the TL was busy cheating on his wife with team members and covering for his buddies who got paid to stand around and talk). I got passed over when he left for a guest service TL who had never even touched a box of freight. Then they had me train him on how to work inbound.
I continued to run inbound under this new TL until he went on his paternity leave, he put my name forward for the tempt TL position and Instead our SD put a team member in charge who'd been there about 5 months (I also trained him on working truck). Then when the TL got promoted to ETL he, another TL and another ETL put my name forward for the position and she still said no. Said I wasn't a team player.
I refused to run the truck anymore and switched to POG. Worked there for 2 years until they decided to put me on our remodel team to show I could lead a team (in preparation for being a PML), by every account I did an amazing job! Half way through the remodel our overnight TL moved, they decided to temp promote a softlines team member from another store who had zero relevant experience (the remodel was logistics and gen merch based). They expected me to "support the new leader in their development", so I spent the rest of remodel babysitting and cleaning up after her.
After the remodel was over our PML (my mentor) was promoted to ETL, I applied for his position and was denied the roll because they "didn't want to promote from within the same store". The PML I was applying to replace was promoted to the position from within our store but ok I guess. They say "we have another PML position opening up in 6 months due to retirement!" so I'm told to wait for that one. I wait 6 months and that PML delays his retirement. He does this 2 more times until he finally retires next month!
Last week I had to interview again and the interviews went great! But I find out today they decided to go with a "more experienced candidate".
I'm done.
They have made it clear that there is ZERO incentive for their senior staff to continue working hard and putting in effort for this company. They pay team members who've been here practically 5 minutes the same as those who've been here decades and give shit for raises. Target claims it's about family, it's a joke.
TLDR: Target promotes people who can kiss ass the best instead of people who can actually do the job