Hello, welcome to the Brazilian Classics Rate! This rate covers five albums released between the years 1968 and 1974, exploring the likes of Tropicália, MPB, Samba, and more. We are excited to enjoy this music with both long time fans, and also welcome newcomers to experience these all-time favorites for the first time.
Note: I am not Brazilian and am not a Portuguese writer / speaker. My apologies if anything is lost in translation through this process.
Hold on: What’s a rate?
About once a month, this subreddit holds games called “rates” where a host selects a collection of songs and people score each song on a scale of 1-10 (with a single 11 & a 0 available as well). Ballots of these scores are submitted, and then over “reveal” weekend, the host takes the averages of the songs and eliminates them from worst to best, giving one song out of all the albums the top spot, the crown, & bragging rights forever.
Our sister subreddit popheads has a Guide to Rates Video that can give you a broad overview of rates (please note our reveal process is thread-based instead of video chatrooms). And here's recent examples of a rate announcement and a rate reveal.
BALLOT Due Date - June 21st, 2024
Reveal Weekend - June 28-30, 2024
Submit Ballot Here
Spotify Playlist
Youtube Playlist
Os Mutantes - Os Mutantes (1968)
Os Mutantes was made up of Rita Lee, and the brothers Arnaldo Baptista and Sérgio Dias. In 1968 Os Mutantes released their debut album, were featured on the Tropicália Ou Panis Et Circenses compilation, and performed as the backing band for Gilberto Gil's self-titled second album. The Tropicália movement embraced taking international ideas and re-interpreting them, combining them to create something Brazilian. Os Mutantes will likely be a favorite for those who love psychedelic rock.

1. Panis et Circenses
2. A Minha Menina
3. O Relógio
4. Adeus, Maria Fulô
5. Baby
6. Senhor F
7. Bat Macumba
8. Le premier bonheur du jour
9. Trem Fantasma
10. Tempo no Tempo
11. Ave Gengis Khan

Gal Costa - Gal Costa (1969)
Another featured artist from the Tropicália Ou Panis Et Circenses compilation, Gal Costa released her debut album in 1967, and her follow-up self titled album in 1969. Gal Costa was close friends with both Gilberto Gil and Caetano Veloso as well as their spouses, and Gal Costa's bossa nova debut Domingo was a close collaboration with Veloso. By the release of Gal Costa we hear more of the impact of Tropicália and psychedelia on her sound. This self titled album features more songs from writers besides Veloso, including songs written by Gilberto Gil, Rosil Cavalcanti, Tom Zé, Roberto Carlos, Erasmo Carlos, Jorge Ben, and Torquato Neto.

1. Não Identificado
2. Sebastiana
3. Lost in the Paradise
4. Namorinho de Portão
5. Saudosismo
6. Se Você Pensa
7. Vou Recomeçar
8. Divino, Maravilhoso
9. Que Pena (Ele Já Não Gosta Mais de Mim)
10. Baby
11. A Coisa Mais Linda Que Existe
12. Deus é o Amor

Clube Da Esquina - Clube Da Esquina (1972)
The Clube Da Esquina name (Corner Club) refers to a corner of the street where Lô Borges used to live, and Borges and Milton Nascimento played for fun in the 1960s.
“I hope our young people don’t allow themselves to be swept up in this dictatorship business, because they don’t understand what it was like,” said [Milton Nascimento] who was stalked by agents from the notorious department of political and social order as his career took off in the 1960s. “Whenever we were going to release a song we had to send it to them for them to censor.” Eventually, Nascimento’s manager rented an isolated beach house where the musicians were free to compose the record of their lives. “It was wonderful … just us and the waves rolling up to our front door,” said Borges. “We weren’t thinking about selling millions of records or being the next big summer hit. We just wanted to make art.” Nascimento smiled as he recalled how that legendary album was conceived half a century ago, far from the prying eyes of the dictatorship. “It was a record made just by friends … We’d spend all day composing, from the moment we awoke with the fishermen bringing in their nets to the moment we went to bed.”
The cover of the album features a picture of two boys playing in rural Rio de Janeiro by the photographer Carlos da Silva Assunção Filho (also known as Cafi).

1. Tudo Que Você Podia Ser
2. Cais
3. O Trem Azul
4. Saídas e Bandeiras Nº 1
5. Nuvem Cigana
6. Cravo e Canela
7. Dos Cruces
8. Um Girassol Da Cor De Seu Cabelo
9. San Vicente
10. Estrelas
11. Clube da Esquina Nº 2
12. Paisagem Da Janela
13. Me Deixa Em Paz
14. Os Povos
15. Saídas e Bandeiras Nº 2
16. Um Gosto De Sol
17. Pelo Amor De Deus
18. Lilia
19. Trem De Doido
20. Nada Será Como Antes
21. Ao Que Vai Nascer

Novos Baianos - Acabou Chorare (1972)
By popular demand, Novos Baianos has been added to the rate mix! As suggested by their name, Novos Baianos were founded in the state of Bahia in 1969. During the making of Acabou Chorare, they were mentored by the "Father of Bossa Nova", João Gilberto. The album's title (translated as No More Crying) also came from a story about Gilberto's daughter.
Note: the album has two versions of Preta Pretinha, track 2 which is the full version and track 10 which seems to have been a radio edit. We are only rating the full version of the song.

1. Brasil Pandeiro
2. Preta Pretinha
3. Tinindo, Trincando
4. Swing de Campo Grande
5. Acabou Chorare
6. Mistério do Planeta
7. A Menina Dança
8. Besta É Tu
9. Um Bilhete Pra Didi

Jorge Ben Jor - A Tábua de Esmeralda (1974)
"I’m not in any movement, no. I think movements adopted me."
Jorge Ben Jor is the first recorded artist of the five here, but A Tábua De Esmeralda is chronologically our latest recorded album of the rate. This one is arguably a concept album; influenced by the Hermetic text "The Emerald Tablet" as well as Jorge's interest in alchemy, and features songs focused on Afro-Brazilian identity such as "Zumbi".

1. Os alquimistas estão chegando os alquimistas
2. O homem da gravata florida
3. Errare humanum est
4. Menina mulher da pele preta
5. Eu vou torcer
6. Magnólia
7. Minha teimosia, uma arma pra te conquistar
8. Zumbi
9. Brother
10. O namorado da viúva
11. Hermes Trismegisto e sua celeste tábua de esmeralda
12. Cinco minutos

Rules - PLEASE READ ALL OF THESE BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES
Listen to each song and assign each a score between 1 and 10. Decimals are fine, but please refrain from giving decimal scores with more than 1 spot. This is because I'm using a computer program to parse the votes and print everything out (more on that later).
You have to listen to and score every song in the main rate. Otherwise, I will not accept your ballot as it will crash the program (more on that later).
Your scores should NOT be considered confidential as they aren’t. Feel free to shitpost about them in the general discussion threads whenever you feel like it - users over at popheads usually just talk about their averages of the albums and what 11 and 0 they gave (which I will explain on the next bullet point!)
You may give ONE song a 0 and ONE song an 11 in the main rate. Please reserve these for your least favorite and most favorite tracks; excessive sabotage ruins rate results and generally makes things less fun.
You can change your scores at any time! Feel free to PM me at any point after submission before the deadline and I'll be happy to revise them for you.
I am using a computer program that fellow rater letsallpoo designed in order to parse these votes! While this will make things a lot more efficient and reduces errors on my part, this does mean that scores need to be sent in a very specific way. The easiest way to make sure your scores follow the necessary format is to use the pre-prepared link at the top & bottom of this post. PLEASE USE THAT. You can copy and paste it to a notepad file or something and fill in your scores there, but PLEASE use that format to send in your scores.
DO NOT SABOTAGE the rate by giving outrageously low/high scores for the sole purpose of skewing the results, we reserve the right to exclude any ballot we suspect of this. If you're worried your scores could be mistakenly perceived as such, all you need to do is leave comments explaining the reasoning behind them.
Did a lot of copy and pasting here (including the following list of users), so thank you to all the raters of old: vapourlomo; roseisonlineagain; DolphLundgrensArms; R_E_S_I_G_N_E_D; stansymash; ClocktowerMaria; aerocom; themilkeyedmender; greencaptain; Crankeedoo; dirdbub; ThatParanoidPenguin; tedcruzcontrol; kappyko; FuckUpSomeCommasYeah; LazyDayLullaby; SRTViper; Whatsanillinois; NFLFreak98; freav; freeofblasphemy; kvothetyron, RatesNorman; aPenumbra; idontreallycare4; p-u-n-k_girl; luigijon3; WaneLietoc; dream_fighter2018; darjeelingdarkroast; smuckles; PiperIBarelyKnowHer; welcome2thejam; imrlynotonreddit; kvothetyrion; thedoctordances1940; b_o_g_o (of the BogoLomo Rate Collective); MCK_OH; TiltControls; u/chug-a-lug-donna; u/TakeOnMeByA-ha; u/indie_fan_; u/bilbodabag, zenits, saison_Marguerite, and tons of people on popheads.
Formatting
Songs - This is correct (single space after colon):
Brother: 7
You may also and are generally encouraged to leave comments with your scores!
This is correct (single space after score):
Brother: 7 I am having fun listening to this song!
These are incorrect:
Brother7 I am having fun listening to this song!
Brother: 7: I am having fun listening to this song!
Brother: (7) I am having fun listening to this song!
Brother: I am having fun listening to this song! 7
Brother - 7 I am having fun listening to this song!
Albums: You can also comment on the complete albums by adding a colon after the album name and then your comment, like so:
Album: Acabou Chorare I am having fun listening to this album!
Looking forward to all of your submissions!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months now. He's 34, I'm 30. Last night we had a difficult conversation that left me feeling confused. For context, the last 2 months have seen more arguments than usual. I figure this is normal as we're finally stepping into more "serious" territory and seeing each other more clearly. We've had a great relationship otherwise. We spend days on end together switching from his place and mine. We both have dogs and they're also a big part of our relationship.
Our recent arguments have stemmed from instances where we've been socializing with his friends, and on two occasions I've mentioned to him that I wasn't feeling very included in conversations. I always make an effort to include myself in conversations and engage. I feel his friends like me, one of them even shares memes with me from time to time. However, on those two specific occasions I felt more insecure because they were with women. I expressed that if i'm his date to something, it's important to me that he includes me, especially if it's with other women. During these arguments he gets defensive and explains how he doesn't understand where I'm coming from, that he did include me. Now, I don't know if i'm being insecure, as it's true that this only triggers me when it's with other women. But I feel there should be an extra level of respect and reassurance as the dynamic between men / women is different.
His defensiveness and lack of validating my emotions has left me feeling hurt. This is generally his response for any sort of feedback I give him when something has bothered me. I feel it's also important to note that I also give him a lot of positive feedback when he does things right, and in general I'm always complimenting him, telling him I'm proud of him, etc.
Sadly, he's recently expressed he's feeling checked out due to all of the arguing. This frustrates me even more because all I ever wanted was validation. It felt he made the arguments worse by becoming defensive about everything. In yesterday's conversation, he sent screenshots of my FB profile where I still had pictures of my ex husband of 7 years. He said it hurt him and I deleted it immediately. I don't use facebook and deleting 7 years of photos felt tedious. But I deleted them because I do realize it was way past that time. It doesn't help that my ex lives in my neighborhood and we've run into him a few times, which he's also expressed bothers him.
To wrap it all up, he expressed these feelings yesterday at the park. I heard him out and listed the things I can do work on certain areas of myself. I realize I can be quite reactive when I feel triggered in the moment, rather than calmly assessing the situation and analyzing if it's worth saying something or not. When these instances arise, we've usually been drinking and that makes it all the worse.
He's saying he's not sure right now about everything, that it's the same thing over and over again and he's tired. I asked him what does that mean, to which he responded "I don't know". Of course, that was very painful to hear, however it's not the first time in the last few days. I told him he's basically breaking up with me, to which he responds "that's not what I said". I feel so confused. I'm not speaking to him until he reaches out, but I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter and potentially someone can help me understand what any of this means.
Thank you

Summarized: I think BM control the narrative of how other races view BW
For Clarification: Im a 22 y/o DARK skinned black woman. I was raised in the hood and got out of it at around 17 (still homeless) but I stopped going around black people for a while ( community changed so I adapted to other races ) and when I left... I got a LOTTTTT of mixed reviews about black women from other races.
But one of the ones I admired the most was the : Once you go black you'll never go back. and ive only really seen that with black women and other races which is cool.
But the thing that really shifted my views was that when Id go around other races, The ones that didn't like black women were ones that were friends with black men. It wasn't until a black man was telling my bf at the time to cheat on me and fought him for dropping him that I realized something....
I took a step back and googled a lot about BW and learned that BM date out wayyyy more and they more openly bash BW which heavily controls how other races view us because other races look at is as coming from kin folk and that BM probably knows best bc they're the closest and that's probably why I see more men of other races absolutely crazy about black women after being with their first. and boom then there's this "after a black wife trend" that came about.
But one trend I see a lot IN REAL LIFE, is that when another race of man is surrounded by black men(non equally, racially mixed friendgroups but primarily consist of black men), he 100000% says the N-word in front of him and make racist jokes about him behind his back. NEVER EVER EVER FAILS!! and then those same men be like "I don't date bw" but sit in their parents basement with black men listening to trap music, smoking and doing xyzzy but then the next night they're the ones making racist jokes behind the gaming screen or to their friends, Joking about slavery and watermelons and many other things that came with the n-word pass. but yeah my food for thought. Lets talk about it

Dear Lancôme Miracle,
We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? From my teenage years when my mom got you from her trip abroad, to now, where you’re like that old friend who still knows how to make me smile.
Your top notes burst forth like a teenager’s energy—litchi and freesia, a combination as sweet and exciting as a first crush. As you settle into your heart notes of magnolia and ginger, I’m reminded of those awkward yet thrilling moments of my early 20s—trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be.
And now, your base notes of amber and musk are like a warm hug from an old friend, reminding me of the journey we’ve been on together. It’s a no brained why you’re a classic! You make any woman feel like a girl from the aughts… the time when you just had to pop on a ‘going out’ top on jeans and head out the door.
Today, as I sprayed you on before the chaos of preschool, you brought back memories of a time when my biggest worry was what to wear to that party on Friday night. You might not be the star of the show anymore, but you’re definitely the reliable background dancer who knows all the moves.
Thanks for being a part of my life, Lancôme Miracle. You will always be a staple for me. Even after maybe the 4th or 5th empty bottle, I’m gonna reach out for you and find safety in your familiar yet delicate notes. May not be for date nights anymore but you’re still my go to whenever I need a pep in my step.

Recently moved back to my hometown.
Being the only child to our respective parents, my cousin, Kevin was like an older bro to me and we were super close growing up. I moved away when I was 8, and we didn't keep in touch (no hard feelings. We were just too preoccupied with new friends and school, etc).
Since I returned home about 9 months ago, we've been hanging out just like old times. I was introduced to his girlfriend, Tina, whom Kevin has been dating for little over a year now. She herself is still pretty new to Kevin's friends group, but really made me feel welcome to the group.
Kevin also introduced me to his high school best friend, Andy and his girlfriend, Hannah, who both initially seemed cool. But the more I've hung out with them all, the more I've felt something off about them two.
It started with the mean or sarcastic comments masked as jokes at Kevin's (and in her absence, Tina's) expense. Kev doesn't seem to notice. I get the feeling Andy's resentful of Kevin and Tina being all loved up and spending a lot of time together. I think he feels replaced by Tina? I also think Hannah is a little bit intimidated, or feels insecure around her.
Anyway, KT went away on a little trip about a month ago for their 1 yr anniversary, and I've not been in contact with AH in Kev's absence. But I've been noticing stuff, small, subtle things that make me wonder..
While KT have been posting about their time in Mexico- I, as well as KT's friends have all been watching them enjoying their time.
One day, Hannah posted a carousel of pics of her on holiday. It was so random because the pics are from a holiday she went on last year. I guess it didn't necessarily mean anything... but my brain did clock it for some reason. I got the impression that she felt envious seeing KT abroad and felt she had to compete? Idk, does anyone get what I mean? Idk how to explain it to KT.
KT returned eventually and life went on as normal. Then AH went on holiday 2 weeks ago, all friends knew beforehand except Kevin (Tina and myself). Kev was surprised, confused, and a little hurt that Andy didn't say anything to let him know. I thought it was interesting that AH went to the same destination as KT, even copying their travel itinerary, but not once acknowledging that they were inspired by KT.
I feel protective of KT and want to warn them about fake/jealous friends, and to remind them of the potential consequences of having such people around. But I feel like they'd think I'm just reading too much into the meaning of possibly why Hannah posted those pics recently, and her and Andy's holiday destination choice? WIBTA if I told them what I was thinking or should just keep quiet until more substantial evidence presents itself in AH's actions?

Hi! I 17M am about to graduate and i focused on my studies and myself with my friends iny highschool life but i did not have any girlfriend or any crush which makes me wonder so whenever i look at internet i see that peope say like i had to be mean against girl or alpha male smthg and being a inexperinced is a turnoff to women which makes me feel like i am not worthy of love or not someone fun to date
Is smthg wrong with me?
Do i really have to be like this if i have a crush on in future at my ages?

My daughter (5) was touched inappropriately by boy (8 & our neighbor) on the school bus. She asked him to stop and he told her no. Upon investigating, she admitted that he has also touched our son (2) when he was over for a play date when I wasn’t around. I believe her because there is no way she was learning about that in our home. We shut down play dates in our home for some of the things he was saying. I said no more and the only contact they had was riding the bus home together. I even reached out for advice from others where they said “let her be a kid. If she wants to ride the bus let her” so I did. Then this happened.
Police are involved, we got our daughter and son (not that he understands and needs it) into a play based therapy. As she is showing some problematic behaviors and she thinks they are funny and not serious because the boy thought it was funny when he did it.
We are wondering if we can sue the family of the boy to pay for our kids therapy? Or overall compensation for raising a kid that likes to sexually assault other kids and think it’s funny and now we probably have years work of building up that it wasn’t okay. And friends don’t do that to friends. Because she still thinks he is her best friend.
Btw: we are in the state of Maine. Thanks!

My wife used to have all guy friends but since she became Orthodox (with me - we became Catechumens when we were dating) she has been told (rightly I think) that married women shouldn't seek friendships with other men (by our priest). I am her only friend and she gets sad about not having any other friends. She has in the past mostly had friendships with guys and feels more comfortable with male friendships.
Are there any women who feel the same that have found a way to have friendships with women?

Edit: sorry, I meant to say that cousin's bestie is M24, not 20.
Recently moved back to my hometown.
Being the only child to our respective parents, my cousin, Kevin was like an older bro to me and we were super close growing up. I moved away when I was 8, and we didn't keep in touch (no hard feelings. We were just too preoccupied with new friends and school, etc).
Since I returned home about 9 months ago, we've been hanging out just like old times. I was introduced to his girlfriend, Tina, whom Kevin has been dating for little over a year now. She herself is still pretty new to Kevin's friends group, but really made me feel welcome to the group.
Kevin also introduced me to his high school best friend, Andy and his girlfriend, Hannah, who both initially seemed cool. But the more I've hung out with them all, the more I've felt something off about them two.
It started with the mean or sarcastic comments masked as jokes at Kevin's (and in her absence, Tina's) expense. Kev doesn't seem to notice. I get the feeling Andy's resentful of Kevin and Tina being all loved up and spending a lot of time together. I think he feels replaced by Tina? I also think Hannah is a little bit intimidated, or feels insecure around her.
Anyway, KT went away on a little trip about a month ago for their 1 yr anniversary, and I've not been in contact with AH in Kev's absence. But I've been noticing stuff, small, subtle things that make me wonder..
While KT have been posting about their time in Mexico- I, as well as KT's friends have all been watching them enjoying their time.
One day, Hannah posted a carousel of pics of her on holiday. It was so random because the pics are from a holiday she went on last year. I guess it didn't necessarily mean anything... but my brain did clock it for some reason. I got the impression that she felt envious seeing KT abroad and felt she had to compete? Idk, does anyone get what I mean? Idk how to explain it to KT.
KT returned eventually and life went on as normal. Then AH went on holiday 2 weeks ago, all friends knew beforehand except Kevin (Tina and myself). Kev was surprised, confused, and a little hurt that Andy didn't say anything to let him know. I thought it was interesting that AH went to the same destination as KT, even copying their travel itinerary, but not once acknowledging that they were inspired by KT.
I feel protective of KT and want to warn them about fake/jealous friends, and to remind them of the potential consequences of having such people around. But I feel like they'd think I'm just reading too much into the meaning of possibly why Hannah posted those pics recently, and her and Andy's holiday destination choice? How do I explain to them or I should just keep quiet until more substantial evidence presents itself in AH's actions.

So I had a friend for a long time and I had a crush on him since 2018 but it eventually gone every time I hear he has someone. I also got a boyfriend year 2020 but when I broke up with my boyfriend. My feelings for my crush came back to the point I said my feelings to him. Then after a few months, he also told me his feelings. But my anxiety kicked in. I said to him he deserved better. Then I regretted it a lot. I thought he would wait for me but I got news he's dating someone. Then after that, I tried to accept it. After a few months, I got news again that they're not dating anymore. Again I'm hoping that he will pursue me but it did not happen. I got news that he's back to the girl he's dating. When I saw their picture together I called him, I just wanna say my feelings to him but I decided to stop. Luckily he's not answering my calls. Then recently he frequently reacted emojis on my posts and stories. Then he chatted with me asking if I was dating someone. Then he said he's single and they're not dating anymore. I thought he would ask me out but he did not chat me back he but still likes my stories and my posts. And I want to ask him if there's a meaning behind it because I'm still assuming. It gives me anxiety. I want to tell my feelings to him but I'm so scared. I can accept if he rejects me but I'm scared if he did not reject me because I'm kind of not ready for a relationship or dating someone because I'm mentally unstable.
I don't know what to do.

News

👨‍⚖️ Court date: The airline trade group Airlines for America, and 6 airlines, sued the Biden administration over their attempt to implement rules cracking down on hidden fees. They are claiming it will confuse passengers. Meanwhile, Southwest didn't join the suit because it says the new rules won’t impact them.

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🤑 In the green: Emirates posted a whopping 14.2% profit margin in the 2023 - 2024 fiscal year resulting in a profit of $4.7 billion. They will end the fiscal year with their highest ever cash balance of $12.8 billion, up 11% from last year. With that, employees will be getting a bonus equal to 20 weeks of pay.

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🗺️ Network changes: Air Transat cut its flight from Montreal to London Gatwick, along with 7 other routes, for the upcoming winter season - yet another smaller airline struggling to make winter transatlantic flying work. Meanwhile, WestJet upgraded their Calgary - Tokyo flight from seasonal to year-round.

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Good start: Azul posted a 4.5% increase in operating revenue and a 37.4% increase in EBITDA YoY in Q1. While the airline expects business to slow in the 2nd quarter, upcoming E2 deliveries should help fuel revenue growth and reduce costs.

​

🎧 Things I’m listening to

This week's episode of the Airline Weekly Lounge podcast breaks down what Spirit Airlines’ Q1 numbers mean for the future direction of the carrier and then dives into the Japanese airline market.

​

This week's episode of AvTalk (flightradar24’s weekly podcast) breaks down all the latest with Spirit Aerosystems.

​

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I'm so fucking excited! I'm going to be the first surgery of the day. I need to check in at 0515 and it's scheduled for 0745.
I always have trouble with recovering from surgery. It's just a lot of vomiting but the results will be worth it.
My friend is driving me and we are going to be dating for today only so they'll let her back with me while I wait 😂

Not sure if this should be in relationship_advice, so will post here for now and move it if needs be. ——— I love my best friend like she is my sister and have always stood by her side.
But recently I’ve been struggling with my relationship with her. I suppose the cracks started years ago when she got into her first serious relationship which wound up abusive. We had many conversations about her leaving him but it wound up pointless. She still speaks to said him and though I’ve tried to encourage her & she’s done therapy etc, she still refuses to cut ties with him.
During these years, I went through my own relationships, breaking up with an ex who used to be both of our good friend and then finding my current bf who, in no small terms, I consider the love of my life. But we haven’t had the smoothest relationship and whilst we were going through our issues, he spoke to his loved ones, and I spoke to my best friend for advice and to let out our emotions. We broke up for several months and during that time I went through utter heartbreak and my best friend was by my side through all of it. She’d also cut off her ex and said me and her can stay strong together.
A few months later me and my bf had a serious conversation and decided to forgive and move on as we genuinely like one another and share similar values and it seemed we were letting lots of miscommunication ruin things. My best friend wasn’t happy, and I’ve always felt like she thinks I betrayed her. She said she thinks my bf is stringing me along and his “true colours” will eventually come out. I think she’s projecting. I also find it maddening as I know if I spoke about her ex that way she’d jump to defend his “good parts”.
My bf and I have been happily dating since, we’ve both worked on our communication and have been putting in a lot of work. My best friend is still speaking on/off with her abusive ex and whenever she tells me about him, it’s always horrible things.
Recently my bf and I had a big break up, as I felt our cultural differences would be too difficult to overcome, was terrified of losing my community by sticking by him and thought it best to let him go for both of us. Heartbroken, I sought out my best friend for comfort who told me I’d done the right thing. However, I wasn’t convinced I had and spoke to other loved ones who told me that I should focus on my own happiness and not worry what others thought for “going against” my culture. I apologised profusely to my bf for my bad judgement, we once again spoke about everything and reiterated our love for each other and we have agreed to stand together against the potential difficulties we might face and I feel truly grateful and appreciative of him. I love him more than ever.
However, when I told my best friend this she was furious. She thinks I am using her as a back up plan (as she is who I thought of first when upset) and that I cancel on her for him. She thinks I am abandoning my culture and compromising who I am and what I believe for someone who she thinks will let me down, hurt me or eventually cause me a lot of pain. She says she is always there for me but the second I’m with my bf I forget about her.
I understand why she feels the way she does. But I also have lots of married friends/friends in serious relationships and though I don’t see them often my friendships with them have never suffered. With my best friend, I feel like if I don’t see her once per week or every two weeks, consistently, she thinks I’ve dropped her for a guy.
She’s amazing. She’s bright and beautiful but since knowing this guy she’s rejected an offer to get a postgrad, is working a min wage job despite having an excellent degree, doesn’t have any hobbies besides occasionally seeing friends for food and struggles with severe anxiety and depression. And I know she will never go anywhere as long as she keeps letting him pull her down.
I don’t know what to do or say anymore. I don’t want to say the harsh truth because I love her so much. But I don’t know how to say these things where she’ll listen. She’s convinced I’m blind about my bf and I’m certain it’s because she thinks my bf is like her abusive ex and we’re in the same situation. When it objectively speaking, isn’t the same at all. She keeps saying she doesn’t know what to do about her life or her ex but when I give suggestions just says “I will” and doesn’t do them.
I also think she misses when I was with my ex as she was his good friend too so the three of us often hung out together. But with my bf, she has decided he sucks without having ever met him and no damage control on my part about all his positives will change her mind. (She also thinks I’m covering up for his bad bits or that I’m saying good things about him as digs at her ex. It’s exhausting). I want to invite her to go along and do things with my bf and I and he has said the same, because they’d probably get along, but she won’t ever agree.
I don’t want to cut her off. But I’m worried she’ll drag me down. I’m worried this is going to be her life, and how can I share my happiness with her when she’s so angry and convinced I’m betraying her and myself for it?
Oh and we plan to go on holiday together just us two soon. I want to use it as a way for us to reconnect and let everything out. I hope I can find a way to do it without becoming the AH and be that bitch that left her friend for a man. Because right now it feels like that’s exactly what she thinks I’m doing.

I'm exploring the dating scene and am curious about the best gay hookup apps available in 2024. I'm looking for apps that are popular, safe, and user-friendly. It's important that these apps offer a welcoming community and strong privacy features, as well as being effective for making real connections.
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Thanks for helping out with your recommendations and advice!

https://www.reddit.com/sugarlifestyleforum/s/AIkX0trKxX
Not sharing this for any specific reason, just a funny story that I have no one to share with
Tl;dr met with a POT we had amazing personal chemistry, but horrible sexual chemistry. Ended up with a friend rather than a SB
Story time: I posted about this POT a week ago, saying that its very annoying how after we moved to whatsapp she became fully unresponsive. A few days later she texts me that her phone wasn’t working which is why she wasn’t replying. I initially called BS but rolled with it anyway because she had become responsive so it was fine. We try to setup a date but it didn’t work out initially
A few days later I went on a solo wellness retreat in a resort an hour outside the city, spent the first night alone, then out of boredom decided to ask her if she’d join, fully expecting her to say no. Surprisingly she was totally game (later I kept joking about how she has zero regards for her own safety and she admitted that in retrospect it was dumb of her to do that)
I book her a separate room and send her uber money to come, then pick her up off the closest spot since its a private compound and ubers have no access. Right off the bat we hit it off amazingly and were really enjoying each other’s company. We check her in, she goes to her room to freshen up and get ready while I go lounge by the pool for a bit. She texts me “sorry its taking me long, just getting ready for you” accompanied by one of the sexiest spicy pics Ive ever received which got me really excited. We lounge by the pool, have dinner and hang out for a bit, and the conversation is flowing amazingly.
Then we head to my room, we start playing around for a bit nothing too serious, then she says shes kinda sleepy so she’ll rest a bit so we can have fun later. So we turn on a movie and just cuddle and she falls asleep.
A bit of backstory, we’re in a conservative middle eastern country where pre martial sex is kinda prohibited in resorts. A lot of places turn a blind eye, and I got the vibe from this place that they were chill, but boy was I wrong. 10 mins after she falls asleep someone bangs on the door, asking me to accompany them to the lobby. They say the cameras saw her stepping into my room 50 minutes ago and someone heard us fooling around, and we have to check out rn or theyll get the cops involved ( the legal side of this is a bit hazy, but I didnt want to cause a scene). Mind you, its 10 pm and were an hour outside the city in the middle of nowhere. I try to rationalize with the manager for a bit including hinting at money but he wasnt having it and he said we have to check out right now and that we’re both blacklisted from coming back (shame, I really liked the place before they turned out to be cockblocks)
Anyway we leave, try to find a last minute airbnb, drive for an hour till its ready, we have to enter separately (again conservative state) so a lot of drama was involved. We finally get to the room and we can’t wait any longer, we start going at each other instantly. Midway through I realize.. this is not doing anything.. for either of us. We tried different things, different positions, everything, the sex was just not sexing.. We rest a bit try again but by then we had already lost it and neither of us was really into it. We cuddle and sleep (the cuddling was great tbh but not really looking for a cuddle buddy). We wake up the next day, head to the shower, try to get it on a bit, again nothing. So we finally talk about it (I tried to get her to talk about it the previous night but she didnt want to), I end up giving her oral for a bit (I told her that Ive been told I give good head, but she said she didnt enjoy, the next day she asked me to). She seemed to enjoy it, or fake it, not entirely sure. Then we hang out for a bit then I drive her home, we stop for coffee on the way and again the conversation is amazing like constant laughing and relating to each other etc
We had agreed on PPM as a concept but she was too shy to name a number, so on my drive back home she says that even though the night was rocky she would still appreciate if I could help her out. I reply I was definitely gonna send her and asked again if she had a number in mind. She says no and I go with a mid range number to which she says is more than enough and shes really pleased with. We agreed that we would like to see each other again but definitely outside the bedroom. So no go on the SR but at least i made a friend

TL;DR: BF (33M) and I (30F) said we were going to try to make it BF’s friend’s (35M) birthday party, but we ended up staying in my hometown longer to spend time with my mom for Mother’s Day weekend. Boyfriend’s friend was not happy we weren’t coming anymore to his birthday party because I wanted to spend more time with my mom and family.
My (30F) relationship with my bf (33M): Been dating for almost 2 years. Currently living together in a home he bought. He’s a great boyfriend and we fight maybe once a month.
So I’ve been seeing my boyfriend’s friends every weekend for over the past month including my own 30th birthday party a few weeks ago that they all attended.
It’s Mother’s Day weekend and his friend ‘Y’ (35M) threw a birthday party at his parents house over the weekend (Saturday) that Y and his parents paid for the day before Mother’s Day. My family lives 2 hours away and we said we were already planning to go see my family for early afternoon to celebrate Mother’s Day with my mom and bonus moms and that we would try to come to the pool party at night. It’s about 4PM and my family arrived late and I really wanted to spend more time with family since I don’t see them as much. I haven’t seen them since January so I asked my boyfriend to text Y that we won’t be able to make it to his party and that we’ll be happy to make it up to him. Y replied with “Wow. Don’t bother”.
We spent time at Y’s home for his Kentucky Derby get together last week (only 6 people were there, including my bf and I) where my boyfriend and I ended up spending the night at his home since he lives by himself now and isn’t in a relationship (hasn’t been in a relationship for 4 years since he broke up with his boyfriend so he’s rather lonely and gets drunk alone in his house), I didn’t want him to be alone since we’ve all been drinking and I knew he drinks alone often. After my boyfriend went to bed, I even stayed up to watch little shop of horrors with Y until 3AM and talked about life… it was honestly really nice.
I told my boyfriend all this and that if this is the case with his friends, that I would rather not be around them. That he’s welcome to still hangout with them, but that I may not be joining. My childhood friends would never say anything like that to me or my boyfriend so it’s just super surprising to see that someone would even say that. I guess I’m just not used to it and tbh I don’t want to be. Friendships outside a relationship are insanely important and for significant others to put in effort to get to know your partners loved ones, but I am having trouble with what to do and if I need to create a boundary.
I even booked an airbnb for the summer for us all to drive to for the weekend (10 people in the friend group) and contemplating cancelling it to not be around any of them. They’re not all bad and I honestly enjoy most of them, but I will say, the friend group is similar to an exhausting friend group I had in my early 20s and it’s tiring. His friend group in general is toxic to each other and a different friend was also rude to my childhood friends and even my older sister at last year’s Christmas party I hosted in my home.
I’ve reached out to Y to share how hurtful his comment was considering how much time we’ve spent together for the past month and that I simply wanted more time with my mom and family. Shortly after that the other 8 people started to blow up our group chat that I’m in with them sharing how amazing his parents were and how incredible his pool party was. Took Y a day to respond back while he was texting in the group chat still but he eventually in summary said that he understood I was celebrating Mother’s Day, but he doesn’t understand why that realization happened of us not being able to go happened an hour into his party starting. They all began to be extra chatty the day after his party. Y texting me a day later (yesterday) and said him and his parents spent a lot of money and time preparing for his birthday party - catering from a local store for subs and chicken tenders. I also shared with him that we would cover for loss costs for us not being able to be there.
Any advice on how to handle a significant other’s friend group like this? AITAH? Everyone is in their 30s and it feels toxic. I’m all for growing if I’m the asshole here and I have apologized to him for us not attending. I also have not received an apology from his end.
If I should cancel the airbnb since it’s under my name, how should I go about this with all my bf’s friends? I’m feeling pretty hurt on how all of this is unfolding with his friends all because I wanted to spend more time with my mom on Mother’s Day. I don’t want my boyfriend to resent me…

I'm using a throwaway account as I don't really people currently in my life to know this.
I (30MtF) left my wife (27F, let's call her D) two years ago. The divorce was finalized about two months ago, and I wish I could go back.
I met D eight years ago, while I was homeless. She and her family helped me get a job and my first apartment, she always showed me an incredible amount of love and support, and she was absolutely wonderful in so many ways. But D was also an evangelical Christian and incredibly transphobic and homophobic. I found this out shortly after we met. At the time, I knew I was trans, bisexual, and I was a pagan. I probably should have walked away then.
Unfortunately, due to an incredible amount of trauma in my childhood and adolescence, I have a tendency to develop new versions of myself for those I'm around. The "me" that took over my life during this time decided "he" was a cisgender, bisexual man who refused to "act on" his "sinful" desires after becoming a Christian. Still, early on that "me" didn't have as strong of a hold.
Once, when we'd been dating for a few months, we were hanging out with a friend who showed us Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time. Neither of us really had any idea what it was about. We watched it, and we were both incredibly uncomfortable for entirely different reasons. She brought me to work (I worked overnights at this time) and then while I was at work we fought over text and nearly broke up because of this damn movie. I didn't like it because it seemed fairly transphobic to me, especially when Dr. Frank-N-Furter raped the guests. (I now recognize this movie has a big place in queer culture but I still can't help but see it as kind of offensive.) D thought it was disgusting that the movie even included a trans character.
Eventually the "me" that had formed to be who she wanted me to be took over full-time and committed to stay with her and fight the "urge to sin." We dated for a few years and then got married. And honestly, this feels like one of the best times in my life sometimes, even though I know I was miserable.
I've always looked fairly feminine, and had fairly long hair and a pretty alternative style that often included makeup. I'd get "mistaken" for a girl pretty frequently when we were out, which only increased when she got me a super cute coffin-shaped purse for an anniversary. She'd always get super upset and defensive on my behalf, which hurt but she couldn't know it.
Sometimes during our marriage, she was reading an article about some state or another not accepting the "trans panic defense" and started ranting about it. I knew what she was talking about but on the off chance I was wrong I asked her to elaborate. She said it was when a trans person comes into the bathroom or hits on you and you assault or kill them because you panic. I tried to calmly explain that I thought it was good that wasn't being accepted because you shouldn't be assaulting or killing people regardless of whether they're trans or not, and it sounded like just a way to hurt trans people and get away with it. She came up with this wild argument and I just let her "win" because I didn't want to lose her. But I never felt fully safe with her again.
She liked it when I wore makeup, and once her sister told me she liked how I was a "man who was secure in his femininity but didn't feel like I needed to be a woman." (This was literally a month before I left to transition.) D agreed with her sister.
Around four years ago made a new friend at work, a nonbinary person I'll call S, who invited me to play DnD with them and their husband (a trans man) when they quit that job. By the time we'd bee playing for about six months, being around other trans people had reawakened the other parts of me, the parts that were closer to who I really am. I re-realized I was trans through our time together, and they started encouraging me to leave her and be my authentic self.
I left D about four months before our five-year wedding anniversary. She had gone through my phone, found messages between me and S about plans for me leaving and my being trans, and confronted me while I was in the shower. I quickly finished my shower and got out, had a six hour long conversation with her about this and tried to get her to understand. Eventually she just said "But you're not a woman and you never will be!" Without a word, I gathered up some essentials and left for S's house. S and I went back to that house while she was at church on Sunday and grabbed everything I owned, and then went to her mom's house to do the same. D and her whole family were there so I was trying to avoid questions and begging and pleading and crying from not only D, but her mom, sister, and brother to stay and give this trans thing up. I told D that if she wanted me to stay, I'd be staying as her wife and she'd have to accept that. She couldn't. I left.
Over the next couple months we spent a lot of time talking. D was trying to convince me to come back, to fall in love with her again. But I hadn't stopped loving her, I'd just gotten sick of hating myself. I told her that. I told her I wanted nothing more than to come back, but I couldn't do it if it meant going back to wanting to die every time I saw myself in the mirror and hating her briefly every time she "corrected" someone on my gender. I told her if she wanted me back, she'd need to support me in my transition. She still couldn't do it.
The last straw was when Michael Knowles called for the eradication of "transgenderism" (trans people). With that and the hundreds of anti-trans bills being introduced, I was scared. I texted D for comfort and instead got into a whole big argument with her. She kept trying to say the anti-trans bills were a good thing, and when I brought up the Michael Knowles thing she said she'd watched that speech and agreed with him. She said eradicating "transgenderism" would be a good thing. I sent her back a long text about the definition of genocide and how you can't separate "transgenderism" from transgender people, and eradicating "transgenderism" would require eradicating transgender people. We never talked again except about our divorce.
The thing that gets me though is that she's always been very anti-racist and speaks out against prejudice of most other kinds. She just never got it through her head that the same reasons she felt so strongly about that are why she should accept LGBTQIA+ people.
Now, it's been about two years since I left her. I have been on hormones for over a year, and I've never been happier with myself. These two years have been absolute hell in other ways. I have no stability, I lost my job, I've lost friends and family and all kinds of other traumatizing events that would make this post a literal novel. I've been suicidal in the past over stuff a lot smaller than this, but now, in the face of almost overwhelming and crushing despair, I'm still nowhere near that point again. I love myself. I am, for the first time in my life, living for myself.
I now have three wonderful partners (polyamory, they are all fully aware and consent, one of them has four other partners of their own) who love and accept me for who I am, and I love them all so much.
And yet. Despite all of that. Despite the pain D caused me, I still love her. I think I always will. And lately, it seems like all I can think of is the good times. And there were so many good times... I wish I could go back. I want her to love me again. And if she texted me tonight and told me she accepted me, I don't know if I could stay away. And this love I still feel... It's the most painful thing of all.

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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I’m sorry for the length. I don’t know which subreddit would be appropriate for this.
I’m M/28 and I spent my early 20s recklessly trying to pick up women. I would hit up women I knew, friends of friends, old HS friends just trying to pick them up. Fake a friendship to fuck. Idk why but im almost always horny. Ive numbed my life with weed for past decade. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend and friend.
At 20 I went on a date with a girl F/18. It was a bad date and later we talked and laughed a little so I told her I liked her. She said she liked me too but she had to go. I asked if I could get a kiss goodbye and she said sorry have to go to. I should’ve just left but I pretty much begged and kissed her on the cheek goodbye. I would occasionally message her afterwards and we would have little conversations but nothing else. I kept this up for like 4 years hoping something could happen despite her telling me she wasn’t interested. It was so selfish of me to just disregard that. Why the fuck wasn’t this processing then.
At 20, I had a thing with a girl F/19 who I was in love with. I wanted to marry her and I’ve known her for years at that point. Everything was fine and normal but I never made a move. When an opportunity for real love and sex that I wanted so bad was on the table, I folded with fear. I made it awkward by getting silent and just low energy. Very boring person. However I had it stuck in my head that we still liked each other. We were sitting in a car after talking for an hour and I put my hand on her thigh and she jumped and said oh no where I took my hand away and asked should I drive you home and she said yes. I drove her home and dropped her off. We were cordial after but never the same. Stopped talking to her at 25 of pretty much one way conversations couple times a year
At 22, I got lucky enough to get a girlfriend F/19. I actually currently date her today. This is where I feel worst because I’ve had another serious gf during my teens where i was so dependent and into her that after 3 years at the age of 18 she dumped me. We stopped talking at 20 and never communicated since. that relationship felt raw and really emotional. My current relationship feels more mature. We talk problems out and genuinely help each other build. I am breaking all this by being a fucking sleaze bag. I have cheated on her twice with meaningless relationships at 23 and 25. I completely used those women for sex and I wasted their time. They never knew of each other and relationship usually ended by me being distant. Those relationships lasted month.
Ever since the last cheating at 25, I haven’t done anything but damage is done. Even at 23 I was an idiot and screenshotted a photo of an acquaintance because it was scandalous pic. My old friends have that screenshot notification. I constantly make these horrible decisions and although 26 and 27 have been more mature, I’ve done so much stupid shit in my early 20s that I don’t how I could ever redeem myself or right my wrongs or just feel good about myself again.
My first step has to be to come clean to my girlfriend and let her make the decision if she wants to be with me or not. I have no idea what to say. I’m fucking scared, I’m a bitch but I can’t ruin her life by being with me.
Is it ever possible to feel good about myself again? I have two groups of friends, one is close still and the other has rejected me completely because of my behavior. I actually used to be in a team with them. Some of us would make music together. They have thrown subtle shots for couple years about releasing music about me. I’m fearful they want to publicly shame me. Post that screenshot notification on Instagram. Although I’m a mess, I wouldn’t call myself a predator. I fear they’ll call me this or worse on Instagram with my family and friends there. I can’t even act like I don’t deserve it. But I don’t want my life to be ruined
If you read all of that, what should I do?

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.