How to fix a dog scratch on a car

I live in California. I paid cash for a 2021 Nissan Versa on December 8, 2022. My car was stolen on June 6, 2023. I was devastated. My insurance company tried to lowball me. I refused offers until they told me ,"This claim has gone on for too long, we are closing it out" This happened on July 8, 2023. I agreed to take $1948,000 on a vehicle I had paid $23,000 with only 12 thousand miles on it. They demanded my Certificate of Title and my Fob Keys, which I mailed, overnite. No money was ever received because within 3 hours after I mailed keys and Pink Slip (Certificate of Title), the police called me to tell me car recovered, looks fine, come pick it up. I was so happy. I did not want the money. I had put so much money into my car in 4 months, and I owned it outright, and had worked 2 jobs for years. So I called insurance company, so happy, let them know My car had been recovered. It took two weeks before they mailed the keys back, but car was in mint condition, had been driven only 9 miles (joyride?) parked in a huge, Walmart, parking lot. I asked for the title to please be mailed back as well. They kept ignoring me. I went to register my car this past December. Only to be denied due to DMV looking at me like a criminal and telling me I had already been paid $19000.00 and vehicle is now owned by my insurance company . I tried explaining , asked for help...they told me Esurance must fix this, you cannot do anything as they legally own the vehicle. I call my claims adjustor, hysterical, and asked him why is my vehicle registered to my insurance company and why does the DMV believe I have been paid $19000,00. He literally told me, "Oh now your just making this up." I tried to ask him to investigate please, he told me, "since you have raised your voice I am hanging up now.' Im downplaying just how rude he was. He basically called me a liar and hung up on me. I was crying but I was not mean, I was almost pleading. He refused to answer my calls and no one else at the office would speak to me, they just forwarded my calls to him. I was in perfect health up until this point. But as each day passed, I begaan to shake from stress, burst into tears, became incredibly depressed, became unable to sleep, spent all my non working hours trying to find a solution. I was unable to concentrate at work. This finally went from beginning to have panic attacks but ended with me waking up after being in a coma, on a ventilator, for 14 days/ I had no idea where I was, was unable to remember how I got to the hosptal or why. I had two Myocardial infarctions, the Doctor explained that I went into full cardiac arrest and a co-worker gave me CPR for 16 minutes until the ambulance arrived. i had a second Cardiac arrest The Doctor told me, shortly after they had settled my into ICU. That one, He told me, they almost were unable to bring me back from. Thank God for The Doctors refusal to stop working on me, my wonderful coworker and The inventor of the Defribulator! Before my release, The Cardiologist told me they could find absolutely no reason for my Heart attack, i have low blood pressure, have no heart or health problems, no family history. They were dumbfounded. i gave him a brief synopsis of my car insurance situation, He told me, ;Stress, it was the stress" "That stress will kill you, you must work on your stress". They referred me to a social worker and a psychologist. When I finally began to regain stress and began to try and demand that my insurance company fix this because they were literally killing me, I felt. I sent a letter, pointing out every single thing that happened, all correspondence, how rudely I was being treated and I sent over my final Diagnosis from the hospital. They never acknowledged my letter. It is now May 13, 2024. have seen attorneys I cannot afford. I was told by DMV Investigations that I definitely need an attorney. Ive been put on Temporary Disability and since I am unable to register my car, I cannot drive it. I am unable to survive on what disability pays. I am losing all hope. I will probably lose my apartment, and may have to live in my car, but my greatest fear now is that my kitty and myself will be on the street, because if they take my car (its illegal to even park an unregistered car on a public street ( is what I was told by the Van Nuys supervisor of the DMV. ) Yet I have asked the Dmv to tell me if there is anyway we can resolve this. I just want them to know i was paid nothing and was finally sent a letter admitting that I wasnt paid anything and it was not my insurance company who made the mistake, it was Copart, and I should take it up with Copart. Okay, this is so beyond absurd. Copart who? Why do I pay full coverage insurance/ when I should pay almost nothing, as this is totally "Do it yourself-Figure it out yourself" insurance. The Claims adjuster told me last week, that they were not going to help me due to my 'Refusal to Communicate with us in January". I got so angry and told him, "So now , You say that I refused to communicate with you?" He said, "Yes, we do." I said," I know for a fact, you never made a single attempt to contact me, while I was in the hospital , after having a heart attack, because phones and emails keep records, and you know, there is no record of anything coming from you or my insurance company . The records I am looking forward to hearing will be all the calls between you and myself. my insurance company claims that every phone call will be taped, and I look forward to the day your employers listen to just how unprofessional, rude and outright sadistic you have treated me. Because you forgot who you work for, sir, and if you did not have policyholders, you would not have a job. You seemed to really enjoy mocking my illness, calling me a liar, hanging up on me. in fact I think we will hear that you threatened to hang up, not look into my claim, and said you were done with my problems and would no longer take my calls.. I have never been treated so cruelly, so rudely, and all I wanted was for my vehicle, which your company never paid a cent to me for, would be transferred back into my name, because I did not make this mistake and I cannot fix this mistake. All I ever wanted from you to fix the mistake that was made by your company You lost nothing in this claim, I only ask that you right a wrong. I have a car that cannot be registered or driven. I oay for your company to ;make me whole' but i would have been better off if i had no insurance at all. My car was found, my car would still be in my name and I could have registered it. Obviously, your never going to help me or make things right' he said, 'i have done all I needed to do, i mailed you the Certificate of Title, so your claim is Closed.' So I have an unsigned Certificate of Title in the name of my insurance company . Which does nothing to help me. Any ideas? So far beyond hopeless, i have lost faith, have lost all joy, no longer leave my apartment. I will do anything, but i just have no clue and no hope. Thank you so much.

This is going to be a long one so heads up.
A bit of back story; I started dating my husband when I was 15. I chased this boy thorugh hell and back just to get a chance. Problems between us were immediate but didn't seem significant at the time. A few months into our relationship he had an adult "friend" that was telling him he needed to get control of me or "put me in my place" (referencing he should hit me). He didn't but the ego it gave him was a hard battel. 8 months into our relationship my mother forced me to move states because I was starting the process of emancipation and she didn't like that. I was still going through with it, it was just a buffer. 2 weeks after I left he was flirting with my friends. We were on and off for 3 months long distance before I said I had enough. When my emancipation was complete (6 months after I moved and about 3 months after we officially split) I let him know because we were still in touch. It was a few days after that he decided he wanted to try things again and came to me. Just a few days of being with me he decided he wanted to go home, with or without me. I reluctantly agreed to go with him even though I was comfortable where I was. We stayed in a trailer for months in the snow with no power or heat but I toughed it out. Eventually we moved in with his family. During that time he broke up with me multiple times to mess aground with other girls. We ended up moving again and he would be gone all the time hanging out with his friends. There were nights I would beg him, crying, for him to just come home and he would refuse We ended up moving again and spent some time with my family (i was 17). 3 days in he called his mom to have someone pick him up. He regretted it and I went and picked him up and brought him back. A few months after that he decided to leave again. 3 days later I was feeling weird. I just had an odd feeling, I didn't miss my period or anything but I had a friend get me a pregnancy test anyway. It came out positive. I didn't want kids, I never did. But I decided to keep the baby because he wanted to. He promised a better life. So he comes and picks me up and we move back in with his family. Everything was going great. Then I miscarried. After the miscarriage he was upset, he was really excited about having a kid. We talk about it and he talked me into trying for one on purpose, his family agreed with this. He promised to drop the weed, drop the beer, get a job and work his ass off for us. That never really happened. So here I am 17, and 5 months pregnant, he has 3 tall cans of beer in his system and starts being an ass. We get into it and he lays his hands on me. I locked him out of the room that night. So he finally drops the alcohol for good. We end up moving again. We got married the day I turned 18 because of his religious family. We fought about the weed and he "quit". But in reality he was just doing it behind my back. He would get mad at me for calling people out on their fake service dogs (I have a service dog and the fakes put me at great risk). He held a job for a really long time, making good money, and spoiling the shit out of me. Eventually we argue about the weed again. I almost left but he said he wouldn't be doing it anymore. Then again we argue about the weed, this time I agree to let him have dab carts. 2 a week. He ended up with between 3-5 a week. Things were really good for a long time after that.
Keep in mind everything I listed was not the entire relationship. Between all these bad moments there are lots of great ones. I have thousands of happy pictures and videos of us.
Now to recently. We moved back to our hometown. He spent a lot of time hanging out with his buddies and leaving me with the baby. He started smoking flower again and had the sudden urge to drink again. I was alone 90% of the time. So where do I go? I have a boy best friend that has been through hell and back with me since the first day of middle school. So I spent a lot of time hanging out with him while my husband was off fucking around like a child. Then the weird questions came in. "Are you doing anything with him while I'm gone?" "Your not cheating on me right?" Ect. No I wasn't. About a week ago I told my bsf I was picking him up from work. While I was in the parking lot waiting my husband calls insiting I pick him up first. I told him no because I didn't have room in the car for both and I was already there waiting. Well that started this whole fit about how asking him to wait 10 minutes was prioritizing my bsf over my husband. Eventually we get to my friends house, and my husband was waiting for us. He was just talking shit and being an ass for 20 minutes before he decided to leave in MY CAR. We argue over text for a while and then he tells me he's done with me. Fine. I give up. I don't care anymore. Then 30 minutes later he's accusing me of cheating with my bsf. He has told all his friends and family that I'm a hoe (my body count is 2 including him and the other one is NOT my bsf). My bsf has been doing his best to take care of me and help me out. Feeding me, taking over the baby, putting gas in my car, letting me stay the night. He's been a life saver for me.
Now it's a week later and he's asking if there is a chance we can work things out in the future... I love him I really do. He has lots of issues tho but so do I. My BPD makes me hard to handle sometimes as do my other mental and health problems.
I'm sure I know what the answer is already but what do I do? I'm a mess.

My two childhood dogs both passed away in October from cancer a few months after I moved from the US to Australia for school. Leaving them was the hardest thing l've done and they passed only a few weeks before my flight home to see them. I barely missed my last chance to see them again and it’s been extremely heavy on my heart. I've been really struggling with the guilt of not being there when they passed, l even took a gap year before my studies to try and see them through but they were still around when the time came for me to move for school. I had a really tumultuous childhood and those dogs got me through everything. Life without them has been difficult as I had them from when I was a child, so l'd never experienced any real life without them. They were family. Now for the dream. In a month it'll be one year since l've seen them, and I hate myself for the fact that I missed seeing them again by only a few weeks. I experienced the most vivid lucid dream of my life before waking up this morning. It started out with me laying on the floor hugging and petting my dog Sagan in our living room. I wasn't sad in the dream, and she was healthy and much younger, maybe 10 and just starting to go grey (she lived to be almost 16). It was calm and peaceful, but we were both aware that this was closure and her saying goodbye. There was a mutual understanding that she had to go, so I gave her a big hug and sha walked from the living room to the kitchen, turned around to look at me one last time, and faded away. Next, I immediately was then on a plane, getting off to grab my luggage with my mom. Waiting to pick us up was my uncle and sister with my other dog, Sinope, in the car. Again, she was also healthy and happy, maybe 8-10, and nothing like what she looked like when she was almost 15 and the cancer took hold. She was extremely happy and crying with excitement, jumping around in the car. She scratched me because she was jumping so much. It was like she was saying, "oh it's you!! I missed you!!" I specifically remember taking photos of her, and the scratch on my leg with my phone in the dream so that I would remember it. When the dream ended, I knew it was ending, and was mentally preparing myself to wake up to reality as well as accept that the photos would not be in my phone. It wasn't until upon waking up that I realized that where I said goodbye to Sagan in my dream was exactly where she was euthanized when telling my mom about the dream. Next, I made another connection. When I was maybe 12 or 13, Sagan scratched my thigh in the car, leaving a scar that I still have. I've often said before to my family that I wish I had a scar from Sinope too, because I'll always have the one from Sagan. And then in the dream Sinope did exactly that, scratching me on the opposite thigh. I've had lucid dreams in the past, but never one like this that was just so overwhelmingly realistic. I woke up with close to you by the carpenters in my head, and one of Sinope's hairs on my shirt (keep in mind I live in Australia now and this shirt has been washed multiple times. She did shed a lot and I do find her hairs from time to time on my things but still, too many coincidences to dismiss). After this dream I feel like a weight has been taken off of me and l've received some closure that I never got. I feel like I got to say goodbye. I've never been religious but would consider myself to be a spiritual person and maybe agnostic. I am not atheist and believe we do go somewhere when we die, but that we as humans just don't have an understanding of it. But yeah, I believe it was them giving me that closure and saying goodbye. Even if it was just my subconscious providing me with something to ease the guilt after all these months, it gave me some solace and I don’t think it hurts me to indulge in it.

Having spent a few dozen hours in the game & menu loading a save file that had 230 gold bricks……. I realized how frustrating this game was and the potential it could’ve had. I just am at a loss for words on the game. This game had SO MUCH POTENTIAl but had too much focus on the toys, & bugs or game breaking engine problems.
I haven't touched dimensions in a hot minute but.. really wish lego added more PATCHES before they shut down the game & wish it got its own remastered lego game without the toys…. or some version with a % meter & better save system…. Feel like if TT worked longer on it, they could have been better fixes with the game & the other lego ip dlc’s.
I noticed a few times HOW ANNOYED I was when my many save files from 2019, 2023, & 2024 all were gone….. on ps4 I just gave up caring and was disappointed.
Starting with the dlc's i noticed things felt off like each dlc was the weakest or too short for a game entry story, or more specifically the simpsons one recreating the episode with homer & the chilli cook off, of all the new story levels it felt weird. All the other lego film games got it down very well gameplay wise so, why not lego batman movie have its own game...? ALSO THE PUZZLES THE COLOR PUZZLES THE KEYSTONES all annoying. DOING THEM EVERY DAM TIME I GOT SOOOOOO BORED… decent game, fun worlds, annoying locking content in it and no 100% to finish. Only letting the player use a character…. That was Dedicated TO THAT SPECIFIC world locking you out… is annoying also cant access mini-kits without said character… This is not fun TT….
The best level was probably fantastic beasts & that could’ve & should have been added in its own lego Hogwarts FB saga game.
I enjoyed the lego ninjago game more then I thought I would, & the first lego movie game was cool just felt weird they put Lego Batman movie in dimensions vs its own separate actual lego game.
The movie scene cutscenes for each dlc were recreated in the dimensions in-game engine. Very disappointing as the quality difference is very noticeable. On the contrary, The LEGO Movie Game used movie cutscenes beautifully and it worked out really well. Could be a licensing issue, but if not I have no idea why they didn’t just use movie cutscenes where they could. I understand not wanting to release 60% of the movie in the game, but they could always shape it around the scenes shown in the trailer. The batman story pack felt like devs rushed it…. Not bringing actors back for discount va’s. Robin sounds like a kid in this dlc not anything like Michael cera. I can understand if they didn't get every one back for the game for rights or contract issues but just was weird. & newt or the FB story were interesting using new keystone & magic abilties. The ghostbuster ones were weird since I never cared for the movie..
There are a few differences like In the dlc levels, Batman is picked up by Alfred outside the power plant and heads directly to Commissioner Gordon's retirement party. In the film, he heads home and the retirement party is the next evening.
Some of the voice work is off. Many characters don’t sound like they did in the movie (I know they’re different VA’s) Alfred sounds nothing like movie Alfred (Ralph Fiennes), Robin sounds nothing like movie Robin (Michael Cera), etc. Other LEGO projects have had fairly good voice replication.
The LEGO Batman Movie expansion is all and all a success. It’s given us the best portal base so far, as well as the first expansion to give us 2 mini-figures which are both great. The game is great and funny as well as a decent length. The game only suffers from occasional bugs and terrible voice acting.
Maybe I just really disliked the keystone puzzles but I was really disappointed in it overall. The scenes were funny bringing in joker & all the villains, I enjoyed seeing the gremlins & agent smith from matrix & sauron’s eye but wish they made a lego Batman game not within dimensions.
If you want to play around in the LEGO Batman Movie HUB world you can access to the HUB world for maximum fun. Id say just try the hub level if you are interested but I felt bored with the lego batman movie game dlc levels. Sadly its REPLAY-Ability was a 5… compared to fantastic beasts and others.
imagine what they could've done with a full roster of batman's villains & heroes in a full open linear game with gotham, & sure we've had tons of batman games but just loved will arnett's version of batman. I really love will arnett so felt like dimensions needed more of that batman.
Too much clutter & focus on building vehicles when they aren't all that interesting or useful…. Switching from the ecto car to the ghost trap each time felt stupid. Even tho they fixed it in 2016 with the characters instant traps. Flying characters freak out when you are next to the edge of the map & fall off repeatedly or just stand there hovering… did NO ONE THINK about patching that?
No percent on gold bricks collected, or the items…. Why couldn’t they added a save system where if you lose your file you can save & quit with the bricks you found why is it on ps4 ps5…. Somehow deleting the game doesn’t remember where you left off?? Was this a patch that they never fixed?
Also, anyone else find it weird that the courtroom from Ghostbusters 2 isn't in the world? They even have the whole Titanic, something that only appears for 30 seconds in the movie, but one of the most important scenes isn't in the world at all or hell adding more side characters or locations why not explore inside of a building?
Also X-PO talks too much, every line of him talking during hints. I've made the choice to leave the main campaign unfinished just so he can stay silent while I play other levels. In the actual campaign and cutscenes he's fine but they made a huge mistake making him react to puzzles.
The bugs and lack of polish ruin the game..massively this is a massively outdated engine and the more they keep adding to it the buggier the games get. I'd love to see a new one built from the ground up for next gen capable created of anything they can think of with some impressive graphics. When you look at the fidelity of ratchet and clank on PS Pro there's no reason this game can't look as good as the Lego movies or very close, it's just laziness and greed (lack of investment from WB wanting to just churn out content quickly on the old engine) even on ps4 its annoying losing your save file deleting the game then reinstalling It AND LOSING ALL YOUR PROGRESS!!!!
So many boring hubs, & races locking variety or enjoyment, too many hubs that had New York…ghostbusters 1980 New York, ghostbusters 2016 New York……. FB New York…..Lego Batman movie Gotham hub just looks like New York.
The vehicles are very boring, not very interesting too small. Why is chima here??? Random moments that just feel weird the battle arena was fun but after a while I got bored.
Also, I kinda wish there were in game unlockable characters: Like if you bought the Sonic dlc, beating quests would unlock the ability to buy Amy, Tails, Shadow etc. or The Simpsons allowing you to buy Marge, Lisa, maggie or each of the ghostbusters, etc. with studs.
Overall it was an interesting level but could’ve been cooler if we got a lego Batman movie game & just surprised at it not being its own game instead of within dimensions. I know sadly this likely wont happen tho.. it disappoints me that the game is mostly looking at build instructions, back & forth again and again….. I am very upset dimensions wont ever be remastered added with better patches because what I had played felt muddied & not crafted well. I don’t mean to be so negative but it was weird having these problems front & center.

I live in California. I paid cash for a 2021 Nissan Versa on December 8, 2022. My car was stolen on June 6, 2023. I was devastated. My insurance company tried to lowball me. I refused offers until they told me ,"This claim has gone on for too long, we are closing it out" This happened on July 8, 2023. I agreed to take $1948,000 on a vehicle I had paid $23,000 with only 12 thousand miles on it. They demanded my Certificate of Title and my Fob Keys, which I mailed, overnite. No money was ever received because within 3 hours after I mailed keys and Pink Slip (Certificate of Title), the police called me to tell me car recovered, looks fine, come pick it up. I was so happy. I did not want the money. I had put so much money into my car in 4 months, and I owned it outright, and had worked 2 jobs for years. So I called insurance company, so happy, let them know My car had been recovered. It took two weeks before they mailed the keys back, but car was in mint condition, had been driven only 9 miles (joyride?) parked in a huge, Walmart, parking lot. I asked for the title to please be mailed back as well. They kept ignoring me. I went to register my car this past December. Only to be denied due to DMV looking at me like a criminal and telling me I had already been paid $19000.00 and vehicle is now owned by my insurance company . I tried explaining , asked for help...they told me Esurance must fix this, you cannot do anything as they legally own the vehicle. I call my claims adjustor, hysterical, and asked him why is my vehicle registered to my insurance company and why does the DMV believe I have been paid $19000,00. He literally told me, "Oh now your just making this up." I tried to ask him to investigate please, he told me, "since you have raised your voice I am hanging up now.' Im downplaying just how rude he was. He basically called me a liar and hung up on me. I was crying but I was not mean, I was almost pleading. He refused to answer my calls and no one else at the office would speak to me, they just forwarded my calls to him. I was in perfect health up until this point. But as each day passed, I begaan to shake from stress, burst into tears, became incredibly depressed, became unable to sleep, spent all my non working hours trying to find a solution. I was unable to concentrate at work. This finally went from beginning to have panic attacks but ended with me waking up after being in a coma, on a ventilator, for 14 days/ I had no idea where I was, was unable to remember how I got to the hosptal or why. I had two Myocardial infarctions, the Doctor explained that I went into full cardiac arrest and a co-worker gave me CPR for 16 minutes until the ambulance arrived. i had a second Cardiac arrest The Doctor told me, shortly after they had settled my into ICU. That one, He told me, they almost were unable to bring me back from. Thank God for The Doctors refusal to stop working on me, my wonderful coworker and The inventor of the Defribulator! Before my release, The Cardiologist told me they could find absolutely no reason for my Heart attack, i have low blood pressure, have no heart or health problems, no family history. They were dumbfounded. i gave him a brief synopsis of my car insurance situation, He told me, ;Stress, it was the stress" "That stress will kill you, you must work on your stress". They referred me to a social worker and a psychologist. When I finally began to regain stress and began to try and demand that my insurance company fix this because they were literally killing me, I felt. I sent a letter, pointing out every single thing that happened, all correspondence, how rudely I was being treated and I sent over my final Diagnosis from the hospital. They never acknowledged my letter. It is now May 13, 2024. have seen attorneys I cannot afford. I was told by DMV Investigations that I definitely need an attorney. Ive been put on Temporary Disability and since I am unable to register my car, I cannot drive it. I am unable to survive on what disability pays. I am losing all hope. I will probably lose my apartment, and may have to live in my car, but my greatest fear now is that my kitty and myself will be on the street, because if they take my car (its illegal to even park an unregistered car on a public street ( is what I was told by the Van Nuys supervisor of the DMV. ) Yet I have asked the Dmv to tell me if there is anyway we can resolve this. I just want them to know i was paid nothing and was finally sent a letter admitting that I wasnt paid anything and it was not my insurance company who made the mistake, it was Copart, and I should take it up with Copart. Okay, this is so beyond absurd. Copart who? Why do I pay full coverage insurance/ when I should pay almost nothing, as this is totally "Do it yourself-Figure it out yourself" insurance. The Claims adjuster told me last week, that they were not going to help me due to my 'Refusal to Communicate with us in January". I got so angry and told him, "So now , You say that I refused to communicate with you?" He said, "Yes, we do." I said," I know for a fact, you never made a single attempt to contact me, while I was in the hospital , after having a heart attack, because phones and emails keep records, and you know, there is no record of anything coming from you or my insurance company . The records I am looking forward to hearing will be all the calls between you and myself. my insurance company claims that every phone call will be taped, and I look forward to the day your employers listen to just how unprofessional, rude and outright sadistic you have treated me. Because you forgot who you work for, sir, and if you did not have policyholders, you would not have a job. You seemed to really enjoy mocking my illness, calling me a liar, hanging up on me. in fact I think we will hear that you threatened to hang up, not look into my claim, and said you were done with my problems and would no longer take my calls.. I have never been treated so cruelly, so rudely, and all I wanted was for my vehicle, which your company never paid a cent to me for, would be transferred back into my name, because I did not make this mistake and I cannot fix this mistake. All I ever wanted from you to fix the mistake that was made by your company You lost nothing in this claim, I only ask that you right a wrong. I have a car that cannot be registered or driven. I oay for your company to ;make me whole' but i would have been better off if i had no insurance at all. My car was found, my car would still be in my name and I could have registered it. Obviously, your never going to help me or make things right' he said, 'i have done all I needed to do, i mailed you the Certificate of Title, so your claim is Closed.' So I have an unsigned Certificate of Title in the name of my insurance company . Which does nothing to help me. Any ideas? So far beyond hopeless, i have lost faith, have lost all joy, no longer leave my apartment. I will do anything, but i just have no clue and no hope. Thank you so much.

Can I ask for some advice about something? What would you do if you are in my place. my best friend let's call her Ruby. Ruby moved about two years ago now, she was going to come back and visit for graduation week and wanted the friend group to hang out like we used to, when i told her i didn't believe it would be possible she has continued to push for us to all hang out. I finally told her the reason that it would not work out she completely ignored me. Now the reason the friend group hanging like we used to won't work out is because this ex friend of mine who I'll call cici randomly after a school essay I wrote quite talking to me and started to spread rumors about me the essay was supposed to carry so sort of theme that means somthing to us so I wrote mine on how it can feel to be in the middle of a friend group that is arguing and not knowing what to do. I will copy and past the essay below the rest of the story. After I turn the essay in cici somehow gets a hold of it and spins it to sound like I'm attacking her and im bullying her and so for the month of February everyone ignores me which really hurt because I had no idea why as they just on day started to ignore me it also was my birthday that month and I had no one to share it with. After a while lila,Taylor and Sara realize what happened and apologized for what they did and I quite trying to communicate with cici. After I quite reaching out to her and trying to protect a dying fire my mental health improves to a point where not only I noticed but my teachers noticed also. Back to my earlier topic I told ruby that I refuse to hang out with cici because she has been treating me like shit and my parents won't even let me see/talk to her outside a school sanctioned event because at are very last sleep over before she she started to ignore me almost ended with me In the hospital because her brother threatened me with a knife and their dog attacked me because i used self defense to get the knife from her brother. During this sleepover cici's parents were awar of what happened and didn't tell my mom so after that I wasn't allowed back to their house. Even after all that I still tried to keep that friendship alive if not only because I cared for cici but also for ruby. Still despite all these reasons ruby refused to split her time between us and Is no longer coming. AITAH for refusing to hang out with someone who has betrayed my trust and put me in a dangerous situation just because my friend who moved away wants us to hang out together?
Here is the essay
Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. A few days after spring break in 8th grade my friend Cici started hanging out with a girl that the rest of our friend group doesn’t like because she is mean and rude. So we told her what we thought of this girl and that she could hang out with her but we didn’t want to be near a person like that, however Cici did not listen and kept inviting her to hang out with us. My other friend Sara was starting to get really upset because this girl was calling her names and bullying her. This same girl had also left intentional bruises on my body because I told her I already had a partner in pe. Finally, after months and months of off and on fighting it was the last day of school. Sara had finally had enough of how the girl had treated us and snapped as she listed off all the hateful and violent things that this girl had done to me, Lila, Ruby some of our other friends. The girl then started to ball saying how all of us are liars and cici shouldn'tlisten to us about anything that we say. During this entire situation I stayed quiet and listened to what the others had to say, because I wanted to say something but didn't know what to say to fix the situation.For weeks after that cici and sara refused to talk to each other, until I finally managed to get them to both apologize. Then for a while after that everything seemed good. A new girl who I will call Tyler moved to town and we basically absorbed her into the friend group. Things were going well until about four weeks into our ninth grade year. Sara started to be exceedingly hostile the rude girl Cici had been hanging out with sense last year, Which caused fighting to break out. So then Sara started to distance herself from us to hang out with a guy who i also used to consider a friend i will call him jem. Now the reasonme and jem are no longer friendsis becausehe told my to off myself several times over the course of about two months.So as they are hanging out jem is also constantly flirting with her, so we make a joke that they were dating. This caused sara to explode at everyone in the group chat. When she texted in the group chat she directed all of the texts about it to Cici and when I confessed that it was me who was made and the joke she proceeded to say that it was Cici’s fault and that it “ IS NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT!! You know what I think of rumors and dating.” We all replied saying it didn't mean for it to be a big deal and we weren't making fun of her that it was only a joke. Sara proceeded to snap back “If we are in relationships with guys, it's not something to joke about. When other people believe it, then it's too much.” So in response Ruby answered with “You literally would make fun of me and my old boyfriend tim back when we were dating.” Then Lila added, “Yeah you make me feel like crap about me and Carl all the time and guess what you coming after Cici being a jerk to Cici for everything saying that everything that everything the "rude girl" knows and does is because of her. There's also the fact that when you tease and make fun of us we are supposed to deal with it, but when we do it to you we are rude horrible people." Sara’s only response to that was “You guys never said that you weren't ok with it. You just need to tell us, and we will stop. No one ever said anything, so we thought it was ok.” I responded with “who is the we in this situation, because I told people to stop when they crossed a boundary and that one of the only people who never listened or apologized for it was lila. I haven't even taken anybody's side throughout this whole situation” after I say this, Sara goes off again. “I'm done ok. Just leave me out of all this. Be your own friend group. I'll be a singular person, and then I won't have to be a burden to anyone. Sorry I was such a bad friend. Also I don't want any pity.” At this point everyone is annoyed and tired of this situation so Ruby speaks up again telling Sara that she is not the main character and to grow up, and that she started it. After this Sara separates herself from us and as a week turns to two weeks then two weeks turns into a month. Between all of the fighting, homework, sports, and everyday stress I start to become irritable and snappy because no matter how much I try to stay neutral to keep peace, Sara and Cici are always fighting. So one time when the fighting over text picks up again I end up snapping at my family and yelling something at them that everyone would probably be happier if i just died. The next day I tried to act like everything was fine. I ended up making it until PE where I ended up breaking down infront of my teacher and skipping school for the rest of the day in the office crying my eyes out to the guidance counselor. I told her everything that happened and that sometimes when I tell my friends things I don't like or feel comfortable with, they sometimes will forget or ignore what i say. Which always makes me angry or sad because I always take the time to understand and respect my friends boundaries. that's when I realized that just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. Despite that fact I will always respect others boundaries even if they don’t respect mine and I will always remind others of my boundaries or distance myself from them. Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand and just because you can/want to say or do something hurtful doesn’t mean that you should. Know where to darw the line.

On my way home from work I realized that my car was misfiring . I drive a 04 Expedition. After I had got home I looked into my engine bay to see that my spark plug and the fitting that goes over it had blown out. I tried to fish out the spark plug as it was just laying next to my cylinder and I really messed up.. it fell.. I want to say it fell into the socket it would originally sit in but I don’t know how accurate that is. The problem with this is that for the past two hours I’ve been looking around for it in hoped that it’s just laying somewhere on the block but it’s gone. What can I do to fix this problem..

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

My husband of 5 years has been sneaking out of the house at night on the weekends and going to his friends house to drink all night long. I see him on the camera and I’m out of town visiting family on the weekends with our daughter. I ask him in the morning how he slept and he lies and says he sleeps great at home. Meanwhile I have him recorded leaving. I’ve never prohibited him to go to his friends and spend long hours away from home. I’ve encouraged it because he works a lot and I know he needs his time too. When I confronted him about it he becomes very angry and says fine I won’t ever go visit my friends and be miserable at home all the time. I told him I don’t wish that for him and I’m quite alright with him being out all night, he just has to communicate. Going out to drink and I’ll probably stay there so I’m not drinking and driving. This is so I know where he is and not staying up all night worried because he’s lying to me. I’m currently staying with my family house away because I don’t have a car and it’s being fixed. He’s playing the victim and not reading my texts, texting me or calling me. Straight silent treatment. I don’t know what to think but I’m feeling really crappy because I’m happy for him to see his friends several times a week and never gave him a problem. He said he’s lying because I don’t let him see his friends. That’s 100% not true. Could he be hiding something? What would be other reasons for him to hide going to his friends when im perfectly fine with it

I didn’t do it. I didn’! I didn’t! I’m no murderer, no, listen! I will tell you your a killer. You do not believe me? Even for a moment? But little is my own sentence even a concern for me, the freedom in society has little left to offer me. Grief and horror are all that fill my mind, the only residents remaining in my home. And you’d expect it to be such an oppressing grief. But no, no, no…it is much more the horror. It is much more the intense fear, the great disgusting and evil works that wait for me in the dark. The grizzly voice that reassures me of fate in its worst forms. It is here now. Cackling at its maniacal work. I hear it. What are you worth wretch! You’ll burn all your years and infinite more! But forgive me, my anger is difficult to suppress against my enemy. He lingers still. A lover of deception however, would be a fool in his own craft to reveal his intentions. Thus, would be a fool to reveal their own horrid form. Therefore, relinquish some of your repulsion of me, so that you may have at least some possibility of belief in what I say. I understand the situation I’m in, but why should I refrain from telling the truth simply because it is unlikely you will believe me? Especially when you condemn me? Listen then!
I was watching television, and my roommate was out the entirety of this night. My family remained in Los Angeles during this time, so they are not making any affect on what occurred. But you want me to tell of my roommate? I am telling you! You ask about the murderer, so you must listen to all I know of him. It was in the most ordinary of circumstances and activity when such a striking and alarming voice pierced the room. The TV was quiet, and I lounged about with dull mind. When I heard someone call for my name from down the hall, whom which I couldn’t see since the door was closed, I of course simply responded, “Yeah?” This was the very first of the remarkable experiences I began to have. I realized what had just occurred. I was home alone, so who could be calling to me from my own room? Well I suspected then my roommate. But I had trouble reconciling the voice I heard with that of my roommate. It had such an eerie tone to it. Almost as if it were teasing me. Yet, it was such a convincing and deceptive call, that the mocking tone it had was almost imperceivable. As if maybe this creepy inflection was a result of my own nerves or unfamiliarity with the event.
Regardless of it’s true nature, this odd quality roused my attention. Was I indeed not alone? But then it must be my roommate, since it was my name. I could not get over the gross friendly tone it called to me with. It’s as if it was bragging about knowing my name. I froze for a moment with the TV playing, listening for another call. “Javier” a woman's voice called out gently and compassionately. But such disgusting compassion did it call out. It seems it couldn’t itself disguise just the slightest hint of malevolence that just snuck under the tone. Or perhaps it meant to say it how it did. But it terrified me. I reasoned it must be somebody I know. But I couldn’t bear the action of getting up looking around. I was simply frozen, wishing not to move and cause myself to miss out on hearing more by making a racket myself. it didn’t even come from behind the door, it was as if it was somewhere far away. Yet it was so clear and punctual in volume.
This left me more at unease and helpless to find a solution. This time I did not respond. I greatly regretted responding the first time. I only paused the TV and looked about myself anxiously, dreading that something would speak again. After many moments of silence, I compromised to rest from my alert. And as the words spoke drifted deeper into the past, the simple abnormality of them caused them to resist their place in my mind as credibly existing. Though it happened not long ago that same hour, I questioned if I did indeed hear a call out for my name in such a mysterious and ugly tone as I had. This was just before the most morbid of calls occurred. It spoke to my name again, “Would you come, Javier?” But such terror came over me in that delicately rude and friendly tone which it spoke to me in. The suspense and anticipation for the call was intensely surmised to a realization as my heart began a sprint. This voice was not just a woman's, it was my sister. How incredibly unlikely she would be here, unannounced and somehow in my home without my knowledge. I still held intense fear, for you must understand the uncanny sense from this call. It was as if someone was inciting their vocals and tone to imitate or mock a human. It seemed not as if they were doing an impression of my sister—no, for it sounded exactly like my sister—but instead it seemed as if they attempted an impression of a human. Such a perfect quality, yet just so slightly imperfect that I may subconsciously perceive something wasn’t quite genuine in this call. I darted my perceptions across the room wide eyed. I quickly looked about myself, checking behind me multiple times.
Now, the following details not only enhance the unbelievable notions of my current situation, but may in fact completely discredit me in even speaking about them. But you must hear it! I implore you to imagine this! It is the truth—all of what I say is. For the night I heard her—my sister that is—speak to me in my own apartment, was the same night, as I learned weeks later, is the same night she had died. Sophia, that is her name, had killed herself.
Many nights passed like this when I was alone. I was tormented by calls with no direction or location. I shuddered at creepy voices beckoning in the dark. Sometimes, even in daylight, things spoke to me while I was alone. Unrelenting and disturbing voices within my home. Now, you may presume at this moment I am clearly schizophrenic. Indeed, I too had this notion. I seeked a psychiatrist during this time, to which medicine was prescribed and an indefinite period of shipping as well. But I perceived far too many REAL things. Yes, these could be hallucinations, but you couldn’t possibly have that conclusion if you hear what else this has done to me.
It happened after many terrible nights that I heard of my sister’s death. I was very shocked at first. But sadness was not next door, grief did not have time to move in. Instead, a realization taunted and teased my peace. I would hear her tonight, speaking to me. You may not imagine the dread that filled my day. I went to work and back home as a zombie. The tasks and conversations passed me by as dreams. I was incredibly absent and void of presence in my own life. My head spun before it comprehended any purpose of grief and despair. When I returned home I found myself double, triple checking that the lights were on and the blinds shut. Even though these things were clearly in my sight. I also locked doors and called my roommate to make sure he was home. I begged and pleaded with him, but he only brushed me off telling me he can't ditch his shift. I paced back and forth within the rooms pitching the plan to myself to have a hotel room. I eventually settled on this as it brought peace to me. And that night passed, at least before I slept, how I hoped. My sister did not speak to me from the darkness. But woe had not stopped its intention upon me that night.
I managed to fall asleep. In my dreams that night, I was visited with a vivid nightmare. I stood in my childhood home waiting at the door with a bat in my hand, standing between my sister and the entrance. I had this feeling that something bad was going to happen, and that I had to protect her, though nothing in particular was occurring. Then, with a gentle creek, a clawed hand reached and pushed the front door gently open. A demonically horned monstrosity stepped into the room. Its hooves clopped upon the wood floor. I intended to combat it, but my muscles took no command from me, and I swung the bat as if I was in molasses. It lunged with a deep roar to my sister, digging its hands into her stomach and viciously tearing it open with ease. It dug through her chest cavity as a dog digs holes in the dirt, spewing and tossing guts and organs out slashed and mutilated. I stood helpless and disgusted, until it turned towards me. It dropped my sister to the ground like a doll it no longer wanted to play with. It approached and grasped me tightly, growling a deep animalistic anger, its stature looming over me. It took its claw and dug it into its own eye, slicing it and tearing it open. It leaned over me, inches from my face. I screamed in horror. Black blood seeped and dripped from its swollen socket into my mouth. I struggled ferociously but the blood continuously poured from its eye into me.
I awoke sweating in pitch black, feeling Intense fear in myself. As a child that had not had their night light. I was terrified of the thought of something being in the darkness. I knew I was awake, and I was in a hotel in the middle of the night, but my heart started racing in irrational fear. I didn’t even have the courage to lift my head and look about the room to satiate the tormenting curiosity in the mystery of a possible supernatural visitor. But, I did. There was a demon sitting on the chair. A darker than dark silhouette of someone sitting hunched, looking at me. It was a shadow. But I knew, even then, this was a devil. I felt it. The blood in my skin fell away. I was mortified; in absolute terror. I stared unmoving with my heart beating out of my chest at this figure.
I slowly began to hold disdain for it. It did not move, it did not speak. But, I was beginning to be relieved of my fear. Instead, it was replaced with hate. Burning, mean hate. I hated it. No, I abhorred it. I was angry. The most intense rage fell upon me. I stood up from my bed, looking about the darkness. I stomped and clenched my fists. Captured in the most ridiculous delusion of fury, I began yelling and thrashing my room. I broke vases and electronics. I smashed the TV to the ground. I bit and gnawed at the chair leg which the thing sat on. I flipped the mattress and kicked doors off their hinges. I scratched and tore pillows like a feline. I was filled with so much hate and anger. I remained like this until hotel staff came to subdue me. Which, at their arrival, the feeling subsided suddenly.
I now was plagued daily by these voices, and nightly by this demon. The visits were not as dramatic as the first, but still, It watched me from different places in the dark each time. All it did was sit there. Weeks passed like this, I lost tremendous amounts of sleep attending to fruitless solutions and avoidances. Either I slept not a wink the night and evaded my tormentor, save for the voices if I’m alone, or I had to face my tormentor in the midst of night with a bravery I did not possess, awoken by various nightmares or visions designed for me that night.
But this is merely his entrance, I must now speak of the acquaintance he made with me. It was another terrible midnight where I stared at it, in whichever spot it had chose for the night, contemplating the nature of such a gross presence and its effect on me. When, filled with a ridiculous exhaustion and exhasperation, I called out to it, “What do you want!” I saw a slight twitch in its head, which struck me with more surprise than fear, although I had both. “Do you know me?” It spoke in a low and growled voice. It had such a tone of malevolence and mocking speech, it even felt as if it spoke condescendingly, as if I was a child it was reducing to. “No.” I said, my breath failing me. “I knew your sister.” The demon stated with a snicker, which developed into a chuckle, then an intense and hearty laugh. He wailed and howled in laughter even, he sounded insane. Such a disgusting sound it was to hear its voice in the darkness so pleased with itself. It confused and frustrated me in fear greatly, and it became so loud and went on for so long I couldn’t stand it. “Shut up!” I yelled finally. It stopped laughing immediately. “But you know Javier, you know me too.” It spoke very seriously. I stared in bewilderment. “You’re guilty! You’re guilty! You love murder! Haha! You love yourself! You stroke huh?” The demon spoke without relent and enjoyed his own hilarity. “What the fuck?” I said in a trembled whisper. “Yea, you hate clothes, you little pathetic bitch.” It cackled.
I was roused again with the most extreme and unimaginable anger. I yelled my defense at him. He grew in laughter. I screamed any kind of profanity and slur I could think of at his station, and he only grew in volume with me. This went on until I finally arrived at my king accusation, which was finally enough to have it stir, “You’re a failure of creation!” He was silent for a moment. “What is it you know of creation?” It spoke with such a terrible and tremendous tone. “Are you worth any more than me? You’re subject to death the same. I’m a connoisseur of freedoms, yet, what are you? You are a slave of fear, scared of your own desires. And, even more so, subject to me.. As much as a mouse loses its life to the metal spring when it grabs cheese, so do you spoil by me.” “You speak nonsense!” I retorted “You’re very stupid, it’s difficult for you to grasp.”
Then, without much more deliberation, it simply began roaring with the most horrific and inhumane noises. It began screeching—it screeched with blood curdling yells and sorrow. It screamed as if it was lit on fire. At once, in the shadows, it began clawing at its own face. I heard sounds of ripping and tearing—with noises as if pounds of deli meat were slammed onto the cutting board. This was accompanied by an intense and putrid smell of rot, and I began weeping. This experience was more than I could bare, and I couldn’t describe to u what was unnaturally filled in my mind. This night felt as if i was never going to escape the moment, like the present moment was my eternity. This sight annoyed me to my soul for what seemed like hours, and I even conjectured to myself that this torture was eternal.
But soon, he did indeed cease. A gentle glow of orange illuminated the end of my bed. He stood before me, tall and with elegance in the light. He was skinned, his jaw dislocated, his face scratched bare and raw so that no features were pertruding. He was completely nude, with hooves and fur patches among his disfigured appearances. He wore this boldly with shame, yet, overcame it with overwhelming pride.
Such beauty it was to admire his stature. I could not help but gaze with wonder and pleasure. I must have admired him for a while, perhaps even hours. I became mad with lust for him, such a delicious sight he was! I should give up my other fruitless endeavors of life if I could just have the delight to taste him.
But just as I settled on my prospective bliss, my roommate entered the room. His yell of terror attacked my ears, interrupting us. Why scream? Why that hideous look on his face? What was he so scared of? What possessed him to be worthy of beholding any sort of indignation upon my beautiful companion? A little worm—that ugly little leech that dared breath the same air as us. “Get rid of it.” The demon told me, but I hardly needed a command to conceive of my goal.
Oh, what fun I had! It was like the first fresh sip of lemonade on a summer day! Like the sunshine that seeps through window seals—like the birds chirping in the dewy mornings. Like the adrenaline of a rollercoaster—the tickle of a drop. Like the intoxication that gives you belief of so much confidence. And to feel it on my hands? It was the joy of a child when he smashes his fingers into the moist sand—that innocent satisfaction of destroying a castle. Like the excitement of opening your favorite bag of chips—grabbing the ends and pulling the plastic with might until bursts open with goodies; yes, that’s what it was like for me to stick my thumbs deep into his eye sockets, and pull to open—if only I could. It was such, as when I bit down on his throat with all my might and sipped. It was indeed so, when I scratched and clawed till my nails came off, opening his chest and pulling at ribs like discarded hot wings, ripping at organs and intestines, pulling of nails, bending fingers two loops around, snapping his arms, smashing his head with my foot—but again my happiness was destroyed. For my companion had fled the scene, and he was no longer present. At once, I recovered some coherence and realized the tragedy of what I had done. How would I hide this? How could I discard of blood evidence all over me? How was he going to chip in on rent in this condition? I obviously had not calculated all the required considerations before doing such a thing. I was enraged by the black magic possessed by the demon, stupid, tricky, evil thing. So you see, it was his fault.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My(20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

Trying to help a friend explore any possible avenues here -
She paid a "contractor" $14K for a new HVAC system. The system stopped working after a week and now she has been without any HVAC for months. She tried giving this man many opportunities to fix it, but finally had an HVAC professional come out for an estimate. They were shocked by the level of incompetence in the install - the guy had even installed the minisplit backwards. Told her it wasn't fixable and they would have to tear out the whole system and start from scratch. (I know a little about HVAC and even I could see the install was not even remotely professional)
So she hired a lawyer to sue the contractor - $2,000 to start. The lawyer told her not to do anything - don't do any repairs, don't try to chargeback the credit card, nothing. He told her he would send a demand letter as a first step and then start looking into the contractor's assets or possible liability insurance. The lawyer stated the man's address and she advised the lawyer that address was incorrect.
Weeks go by and the lawyer just keeps saying "We're waiting for a reply, these things take time, he has 30 business days to reply" - finally, after more than two months the lawyer says "Oh, that letter came back as undeliverable, nothing more we can do, too bad." They had sent it to the address she told them was wrong, and also took a ridiculous amount of time to tell her it wasn't delivered (when they would have known that within a week or two)
So she asks for her $2,000 back, and is told they are dissolving the law firm and maybe they can refund her a tiny bit of what she paid. She contacted the credit card company to see about a chargeback for the contractor's $14K (which the lawyer had told her to wait on) and finds out it's too late for a chargeback.
On top of all that, she spends 20 minutes online and is able to find the contractor's actual address, as well as his long trail of lawsuits and bankruptcies. That's how long it would have taken this lawyer to do their job correctly.
I know it's a longshot, but any chance she has a case for malpractice for the lawyer advising her not to pursue other remedies but then not doing their job?

2005 GMC Yukon Denali, 250k+ miles, 6.0L V8, Automatic.
TL;DR Can all of my fairly new brakes seize from just lack of use, gravel dust, and car washes?
So 2 years ago (Aug 2022) I had a major issue with tie rods, steering idler arm, pitman arm and all of that going bad and breaking at an intersection. At that time mechanic suggested replacing front brake pads and rotors while we were at it. I think there was an issue there too after the break. I had the funds, so went for it.
Fast forward to this last September 2023 I had a great deal of scraping and scratching from the rear brakes. So I brought it in and they said needed rear pads and rotors, might need calipers. Also mentioned that the backing plates were rusted through adding to the noise. They mentioned new backing plates for the e-brake system. At that time we only moved forward with the replacement of the rear pads and rotors.
I use this truck only part of the time since I have a second car. So it sits in my driveway a lot of the time. I did however drive it more this winter than I have in recent years. The alleyway that had parks in is a bit muddy and dusty from the gravel. Due to that, I frequently get car washes before I park it.
I have learned my lesson about washing and parking for long periods of time for sure.
Brought to tire shop last week to fix slow leak and rotate. Also got an oil change. Since then, my service stability light has been on. And my brakes started scraping again.
I brought it to my normal mechanic and they are saying that all four brakes are seizing. They can free up the right side but they seize again after driving.
In your opinion does this seem valid? Never have I ever had this issue in my life. It seems so much less likely after replacing the pads and rotors so recently. But also if the calipers have been slowly going bad would that ruin the pads and routers so much that they would need to be replaced so soon?
I just want to feel confident going into this after I spent nearly $2,500 a similar issue for my other car recently. It all seems like a lot. It's been a lot.
Thanks for your help!

We just adopted a 5 year old male racer from Australia through a local adoption group. Took our female lab with us and they got on fine, and he has been the consummate houseguest. A literal dream. No accidents, not nervous, easy car ride, no resource guarding, has even made our existing lab more calm! We jokingly call him Snoop Dog because he is so chill.
It’s only been a couple days so they are only supervised together, but they seem happy enough in each other’s presence. We went on a walk with the two of them and our lab was way different with him than our old grey. She used to just want to climb and play on our old girl, which she didn’t like. With our new one she is so much more chill.
Tonight though, we were out in the fenced in yard and I was trying to get them to play — they had had a small chase yesterday, which seemed intense, but like they enjoyed it. They ran a little, he mouthed her back, but all seemed normal. She came in and panted for 25 minutes, though. (She’s a chonky English lab, and not an athlete).
Today I tried to see if they’d chase a bit and got nervous when the intensity picked up so I got the grey’s muzzle. Good thing I did, because he plays pretty aggressively. Luckily they are about the same weight, but she is a dorky lab, and I am sure she didn’t know what she was getting into! But sweet Jesus he is powerful when he runs. He did quite a bit of kind of pinning as well (our lab goes low and old grey would back right off with the submission). But, he took longer than felt comfortable and didn’t ease up the intensity as quickly.
Our lab seemed unphased afterwards, but poor thing threw up dinner from the exertion. She is very passive and they both defer to each other inside. But, I am not going to lie.. it freaked me out a little. My experience with dogs roughhousing is zero. And now I have a Ferrari of a dog who I am sure was never allowed to be aggressive, but the dominance part spooked me, and that he didn’t look bouncy-playful, but rather RAWR playful. And, perhaps that is because they are similar weights.
So I asked the foster and he said he always turned him out with a muzzle because he was fast and aggressive when he ran (and he was with other greys). Any words of encouragement or advice are appreciated. I guess it’s muzzle city unless just a potty break. (I really did encourage the interaction. I don’t know if it would have happened otherwise).
Sorry for the novel! TL; DR New greyhound is aggressive when he runs. How to best manage with dorky lab? Can they ever play without scaring me to death?

My pet goat died yesterday, and somehow it feels worse today. I cried more but the pain didn’t hit as hard as it is hitting today, as if my body hadn’t yet processed that she really was gone. And I woke up at 5am and she wasn’t in her pen calling out for me to let her out. She was gone, and I would never see her again.
I never experienced anything like this, I think. It’s like I’m constantly dying and waking up. Expecting to see her outside, to hear her voice, only to remember that she’s gone. I spent nearly every hour of everyday with her, pulling my hair out in frustration as I learned how to properly care for her. And the moment I thought I finally found a good routine, she’s gone. All because of me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself. A simple mistake costing her life. I didn’t even get to spend more than a month with her. She wasn’t even an adult yet.
I thought our family dog was in the dog cage as usual, thought the flimsy rope I tied to her would work. The rope broke and her cries of pain brought me outside, I keep seeing that image of her. He had been biting her on her neck.
I loved carrying her and so did she, and I carried her as she bled rushing her to the back of the house. She died quickly. That was the last time I carried her I realize.
She had been everything. She was so smart. She followed me everywhere whether I liked it or not, calling out to me when I wasn’t by her side. Finding ways to get into the house. She loved scratches on her head, and her fur was so soft. She would bite my fingers when she wanted my attention.
She was so happy that morning, hopping and running around. We were saving up to buy her a companion, we planned to make her a proper pen and fence, she was so young and healthy. And suddenly she isn’t here. She got me out of bed at 5 am, I had to take care of her regardless of how low I felt or how incapable I felt even taking care of myself. She was always there even when I felt utter panic at having to do something as simple as talking to other people.
I keep expecting for it to get better, but it still feels like I’m being carved out. Like parts of myself died with her. And people I know would probably think that’s dramatic, I didn’t even know her for long. But it felt long. It felt like the world to me. And idk what to do with myself now she’s gone.

I (26M) caught my girlfriend (23F) in a web-of-lies.
I'm extremely devasted and my mind is clouded as I write this, but I have caught my girlfriend (23F), with which we have been dating for 6 years in a web-of-lies 3 Times in our dating period.
She has left me in my lowest point.
In the beginning of our releationship I caught her deleting a messages on her Iphone. I then confronted her and she told me that she deleted those messages because I would get the wrong impression of them and would end the releationship. She told me that she was scared to lose me, as I'm jealous of other males, which in fact is true, but I think my feelings were right all along.
I forgot the content of the message.
I let it slide, since we were in the beginning of our releationship (Maybe 1-2 years into it) and I also wasn't faithful at that time. I have even shared this with her at some points of the releationship, as I'm honest. The thing is that she said that she loves me so much that she would never do such a thing to me.
Slowly - I let my guard down, as she was with me during very hard moments in my life, where she could have easily left. As I let my guard down - I started adoring her and the thought of other girls started to dissappear.
She was extremely sweet, innocent and loving. No matter what I did - she was always there for me to support me and was always on my side.
I started focusing more on work, we were seeing each other everyday and everything was flourishing, but I never stopped being envious when she came with me at a disco/bar with friends or where there were other males.
I always felt as she had an eye out for some of them and always felt like I didn't satisfy her completely, as she had previously made remarks about our sexual encounters, which were above regular.
I slowly started to trust her more, as she continiously gained my trust by her action. Meanwhile I was 100% focused on my businesses and success.
She was working in a kid's playground and selling cakes. I was always there and supporting her.
As my success progressed - we started to go out on world trips on the most beautiful places and fell deeply in love (or so I thought)
4 years had passed by. She was still good an innocent (or so I thought).
On the 4th year - I made a project that made me life-changing money. I took her in Dubai with my whole family and spent a fortune to please them. Unfortunately - she was not happy there, I felt like she didn't support me at that moment. She didn't care what I did, she didn't care about my success. She tells me 'This is your success, not mine' 'This is your money, not mine' I told her I want to buy a house for us and she said 'This will be your house'
I then fell into an emotional pit, because everything I do is to support my family and create one wit her.
I got extremely mad, this feeling didn't fade away. I wanted to end it with her, because she didn't acknowledge anything.
The summer was approaching, we got into a fight over something (I Think I caught her again) - We separated for a month, she started crying and was working the whole month. - I went on a vacation with friends, where I cheated on her (Only kissing) and started approaching other girls. But while doing all this - My girlfriend never left my mind, I was extremely sad that I ended it with her.
I opened up her Instagram Account and saw on her story how she is on vacation with two good girls from her work and one baby (She was lonely by the looks of it and extremely sad)
I got back from the vacation and started working things out with her, I took her on a vaction, we had a bonding there, but something didn't feel right... She seemed sad.
I started gambling on crypto futures... I lost 20% of my networth... I got extremely mad.
We went back in our country and then I took her on another trip. I bought her everything she wanted, I took her everywhere she wanted, I did everything to please her. My focus at that time was entirely on her.
She wanted to go in the casino - we went. I lost money, but gave her, since she wanted to stack an amount for a nose operation.
(Not because the nose was broken or something, but because she wanted to look better)
Business started getting bad, my income vanished.....
I started trading more in order to get back to my previous amounts...
I lost it almost all.. I had 1 reserve fund which was locked and I waited a couple of months to take the funds out. She was there with me even when I lost.
She finished her operation.
I got the reserve fund. I started trading, I made half the amount back. She wanted me to buy her a car - I did. I bought a land as well, on which I wanted to start building our house.
After all that - I lost all my funds again...
She had been constantly in a fight with her parents and wanted to move out.
I had one small income left - with all the funds I had, I rented an apartment for 6 months.
During those 6 months - I focused on working, but was losing due to my gambling habbit.
She got a new job. She started going out with friends. Sexual intercourse decreased by a lot.
I told her that I don't like her going out till 6 AM in the morning. This just isn't right with me, so I got suspicious.
I hacked her laptop... she saw a notification and rushed to the house... I was able to see a lot of things, but it appears - she was deleting evidence, so I asked her to give her phone. - She gave it to me.
Unfortunately - I knew how to see deleted messages on an Iphone. I saw only one message, the content was:
'Don't message me anywhere again.'
I got filled with rage and we had a fight. She was fighting with me to get her phone back. I gave it and told her I want to end it.
As he was a famous greek singer - I was able to analyze when he had concerts and saw that on those dates - she had been visitng those concerts...
3 Days later - we talked and worked it out.... I was madly in love with her at this point. She told me that she arranges stages for him. (It's related to her new job)
My gambling habits were in full force. I lost a lot of money and couldn't afford a rent of a high-cost, so I told her - Let's move out to my mother's place and in the next 1 year I will make sure that I succeed again. (My mother isn't living inside the house, but my brother is)
She agreed roughly. So we moved and I started working, but unfortunately - The money I felt I was making was not enough, not nearly enough to buy an aparatament or build our house. She was acting kind, innocent.
I went out on a birthday party and my friend created a circumstance, where I would sleep with a girl next to me. I knew she really liked me and hooked up. We were going to have intercourse, but as I did anything - my girlfriend was on my mind and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than kisses... I just couldn't.
She started going out with friends again. She was going nightclubbing with them, but assurred me - she was doing it for her own fun.
She was meanwhile stacking money to get a boob-job done. - She did it, made her boobs bigger. She assurred me that she was doing it for her own fun.
6 months have passed. - I stopped gambling, but she told me that she doesn't like my house, doesn't like that I'm living with my brother and she doesn't see a future with me.
She told me she would leave and go in her cousin's apartament, but he doesn't want me there.
I told her that I want to break up with her, because she doesn't want to be with me at my lowest point. I told her that she probably wants to leave the house to go out nightclubbing and find someone better than me. She felt offended (Or so It seemed), but I think that was the truth. She told me that she wants to have kids with me, she loves me, etc.
The next day: She goes out of city without telling me anything about her location. At night: she goes in a nightclub with her friends + other males.
I ask her in 2 AM - 'Where are you right now'? She comes in and out of 'Online' status. and at 4 AM I notice a follower increase on her Instagram, she follows him back - I send her a video and ask who the f is that? She responds 'What do you want', 'This is an old friend', 'Stop being envious'
I get extremely angry and stop responding. The next day I check the live photos of the nightclub and pray to god to give me a sign that I'm not delusional and exactly the next photo - She is on the same table, with the same guy, with her friends and other males. She told me she was sleeping.
1 Day passes - she starts messaging me and sending me photos with the quote 'Let's promise we will never leave each other and fix everything when things go wrong.' 2 Day passes - she starts messaging me, so I show her that I don't want to talk with her. 3 Day passes - no one messages. 4th day she messages me: "Are we breaking up?" and I told her "Do you think I want to be with someone, who constantly lies to me, goes out nightclubbing and adds some r*tards in Instagram?" She told me - "First of all - I'm not lying about anyhing" Then I ask her - "Why have you added this person in 4 AM in the morning"? She replies: "I have had him for some time now, he is an old friend" I told her that I monitor her followers and know if he is old or new" I told her that she looks like trash in my eyes at this point and she got angry She told me she isn't obligated to tell me anything and she hasn't added him in 4 AM, she will not be repeating her self.
I ask her: - Can you tell me where were you at that time (The night that this happened) ? She tells me: - Like every night - at home. I sent her a photo of the live nightclub photo where she is with him, her friends and other male friends. I tell her 'I hope this is gives you an answer for everything' 'My girlfriend died a long time ago' She starts sending laughing emojis and says: "It's good, right?" "You killed her more likely and made her what she is today" I tell her "It's possible" She responds "As you can see - he is with his girlfriend, DON'T THINK WRONG THINGS OF ME" I told her: "Don't explain yourself" "This was my last question." She is now telling: "This is a driver of... and some time ago my friend hooked up with him, this is from where I added him, I haven't added him now" I told her: "I don't think anything of you." She responds "The last two years you have not thought of me anyway" WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I tell her "I wish you all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for" She responds "Me too, be happy" I respond "I have only one question left" "When did my girl die?" She reponds "You can always contact me if you need any help" I respond: "Thank you, but I don't think of searching for contacting you anymore" She asks: "Which is your girl?" I respond "The good girl that loved me and was always with me or was this just a product of my imagination? Be honest" She said: "Whatever you feel like" I respond "Okay, good night" Then I forward the message "You can always contact me for help" and I say: "I really loved you and will miss you" She reponds: "I will never stop loving you. There is no way to stop loving a person with which you have been in a releationship for 6 years" "Good night, I will not upset myself anymore" I ask her "Why would you do this to me?" She ask "What did I do to you?" I told her "It's pointless to say, I have a lot more information that on the photo" She says "We were in this town for a doctor checkup, after that we went to a nightclub and accidentially met them (The person and his male friends)" I ask her "Will you stop with the lying?" She says "I'm telling you" I respond "Good night"
Now my question is:
I'm a sucker for her love. Maybe I'm just in love with the old her. I have never loved any girl as much as I love her. I feel absolutely terrible. Maybe part of this was my fault. Maybe it was my fault that she became like this..
What do I do from here? I don't think I will ever love a person this way.. I wanted her to carry my children and raise a family with her.

So I'll preface this by saying my mom raised my sis(32f) and I(28f) by herself. My sister has a thing where she always needs to help, I've told her she has a thing for down on their luck men but she doesn't see it. I have my issues but this is not about me rn. So although we are religious we aren't crazy religious, but my mom was clear about being a parent before she is a friend growing up. As adults she's much more a friend and as such, although she does tell us her opinions she lets us make our mistakes even if she has to say I told you so while helping clean the mess up. When I finished school I moved down to where my mom was taking care of her grand mother my great grand to help out. While I knew my sis was sneaking around about something I didn't really think much of it. This would have been about two or three years ago, it didn't become obvious until after I moved and she was left alone. I'd visit here and there and realize she was spending much more time away from home until she said she was dating a guy who livednot far away. My mom dislike him what seemed immediately but I tried giving him a chance and convinced my mom as such. After a while my sister's actions became more obvious, I would still pop in by the house and spend the night or a couple days and I toiced she started spending the night out even when she said she'd be home later. She didn't ask me to lie but there was a distinct 'don't let mom know' vibe.again religious household, we weren't allowed to sleep over at men's homes like that. We could spend a night by a male family friend but often sleeping there is a big no no. So I'd deflect when I was visiting and our mom called and asked about her and why she wasn't answering her phone. As time passed I slowly began disliking her bf and his family and the fact that I noticed on my visits that the house felt less lived in. Her bf and his family is all about public opinion and just shy of showing off. Everything has to be big and grand and a spectacle, I noticed her bf would at times be flippant about her opinions and belongings. He'd even makes insensitive remark, ill also mention here that my sister has her degree and a well paying job while I don't think he has his and he is self employed with irregular work. My sister would often jump in to help him organize his business but to him the business is his and she has nothing to do with it. So even if she handles the admin stuff and organize his money records and makes calls, all profit is his and she has nothing to get from it. Gradually she began staying at his house that his parents live in along with his siblings, it's a large enough house that they could all live there in comfort since his parents had nice jobs and they built a house to match. My sister eventually got pregnant for him, which wasn't surprising because she'd been sleeping in his room more than her own bed at home, a male family friend called it even before she was pregnant that they were banging. Muchless my mom wasn't happy but there wasn't much you can do after the fact. My mom and I did our best supporting her and she practically moved in with him. Our house needs repairs and while she was pregnant I tried encouraging her to fix what she could before the baby came, like the best part of the house. She didn't, and even while pregnant she did stuff he should have been doing like picking up heavy objects and taking care of his animals.muchless he Lost points in my eyes, I threw her a babyshower which my mom funded and his family brought the drinks and he tried getting us to hold it by his home even though we planned it. The baby came via c-section and she came home to us to recover, and while his mom and one sister visited he jokingly mentioned how my sister has to lose weight. Eventually he kept bugging her to come to his house that was and hour away and she kept telling him she couldn't make the journey just yet because of her stitches. Eventually she gave in to his nagging and I drove her up, when it came to the christening because he is a different denomination of Christian he insisted their child be dedicated under his, all of this was after he announced the child's name without getting her approval and fussing about the one name she wanted to give while he gave two names. Only his Godparents were able to stand up because my sister's picks were not of the denomination the christening was taking place under. The brunch they(the guy) instead on was cooked by my mom and me and the after party food was done by his side, although my sister did tell him to order a certain amount of a type of dish that he didn't do because his mom said not to, they later ran out of the item. He told my sister his mom knew better because she had more kids than our mom when my sister asked him to tell his mother not to do some stuff to their kid after she had already asked her and she disregarded her. His mother and sister looks after their kid while my sister goes to work and his mother bundles the baby up and leaves it in a hot room. Both his mother and sister began treating my sister badly and his mother has a diagnosis of early signs of memory loss which my sister has began attributing her bad treatment to which i called bull on. He doesn't allow her to take the kid to funerals and once said something insensitive about the death of my sister's friend's mom, this rules does not apply to his family funerals. When my sister told him to let his sister travel because shed be late to pick me and my mom up after he'd made us late previously for something similar for a pre planned and paid church brunch he told her that we should learn to travel although my mom and I both travel 90% of the time and it wasn't the first time he had made them/heUS late. Later my sister and his mom and sister han a falling out one I told her was going to happen and she didnt listen to after his mom began acting like her kids was her own after she had it and he was carrying their kid for his mom while she was left alone and was asked to send/provide the milk, they made her postpartum worst than it should have been. Both my mom and I told her to move back to the house which she did for a couple days before she was right back sleeping at his place. He regularly makes in my opinion insensitive remarks and everything must be his way from what I've noticed. I've also noticed it's difficult for her to move back home, the first time he stayed the house with strong pesticide so she couldn't stay, attempt Number 2 her car was hit(not really his fault) but he was park badly,and the most recent attempt at organizing to go home, her car was stolen and scrapped (he had nothing to do with the stealing) aitah if I get feup with her and his bull and the fact that I've secretly begun hoping they breakup and encourage it in small ways? Are both my mom and I wrong for disliking him as much as we do? There are other things he's has done that makes me dislike them being together no to mention he keeps his family stuff away from her and has flat out practically told her his family business has nothing to do with her.

Please give me some advice on this! His ex, him and me!
Background information: I (25 Male gay) am seeing a guy (29 Male gay) who still contacts his ex often even if I am not comfortable with. I started to see this guy a few months ago and we had good communication and often hangout and things go well. However, things started to get weird. There was one time he invited friends including me to his house for crawfish boil and he told me his ex will also be there. They have broke up for 6 months and he told me he would never go back to date his ex. I was okay with going there even if his ex is there. However, he wouldn’t want to admit we are seeing other or knowing each other from a dating app, so when his friend asked us how we met. He wanted me to say we know each other through a mutual friend and to avoid awkwardness, I agreed with that. Plus we just started to see each other at that time, but there was always something in the back of my head that I don’t want to lie about it and I don’t feel comfortable that he doesn’t want introduce me as we seeing each other. After that party, we got much closer and had more conversation and went to my friend wedding together (at the wedding I wanted to say hi to my ex, but he said i don’t feel comfortable if you do that, so I cared about his feelings and didn’t say hi to my ex) and things were going well.
One day, I was hanging out at his house and his ex drove by and saw my car there and started to text him and blocked him because his ex still has feelings about him. He told me “you should’ve parked your car in my garage” and he became panic and nervous and didn’t know what to do and try to explain he is just hanging out with a friend. His ex threatened him to come over to his place and to check who is he hanging out with. That made me really uncomfortable so I just left because I don’t want any drama before we date and I also think he didn’t handle this situation with his ex well. at that day I also find out they hang out every Wednesday night at his place. They also had sex after they broke up. But anyways, he came over to my place that night we had a conversation and he talked to his ex the second day and the situation get better. He promised me this will never happen again.
Then there was one weekend where we were supposed to go carting with some friends and include his ex and me. He told me if I don’t feel comfortable about his ex coming he would tell his ex not coming. So I told him I don’t think that’s a good idea for us to co-exist together because I have to hide that we are just friends. He also never told his friends that we’re seeing each other. And we already lied about how we know each other at the crawfish boil party at the beginning, so that’s why I don’t want his ex to come. He said yes, but he called me two days later that his ex already paid the ticket and that his ex partially planned this event with him so I was OK for him to go even if I don’t feel comfortable with. Btw, I always introduce him to my friends that we are seeing each other.
Recently he has been very busy about his work so we didn’t hang out too much and he told me he couldn’t even call me because his busy schedule which I don’t feel comfortable but I also know that week he has been very busy about his work, but I was also thinking you can’t even call me for like five minutes to share your day with me which also made me uncomfortable and annoyed.
This week his work is not that busy, but he wants to invite his ex and other friends to get together again to another event next weekend. I was very annoyed by him inviting his ex this over and over again, even if I don’t feel comfortable to be with his ex at the same event, and I have communicate with him many times. Last time his ex went there because his ex already paid the ticket but this time I think he shouldn’t invite his ex. He told me that he just want everyone to be happy and not to be left out and he’s also figuring out our situationship. I understand his concern because he is out of country for 10 days and his ex will take care of his dogs so he scared if his ex was left out he might not want to take care of his dogs anymore, but I offered I can do that for him too.
Now I have some concerns that should I continue with this guy or he is not ready to date someone or start a new relationship? I honestly think I made some many compromises and being very understandable, but I feel like he might not be ready to move on which I am fine with just being friends with him cuz I know my worth.
Please give me your honest opinion and advice for me and him.