Trigger Warning for those who can be affected: romantic relationships, trust issues, lying, deceiving, age difference in sexual affairs, sexual intimacy.
Using throwaway so I do t get recognised by the details.
Hi all, So me - M23 -, I'm in a relationship with my gf F24 for nearly a year now. About 3 months into the relationship I found out from her that she used to be in a "friends with benefits" type of situation with an older guy - M51. They "casually" hooked up a few times, prior to her meeting me closer. The problem is that I know the guy fairly well. Well, the three of us work in the same company, same building, pretty much same floors as me and my gf are same department and the Guy is pretty much everywhere in our workplace. Him being 51 is my one concern as when it started between them 2.5 years ago she was only 21 turning 22 and he was nearly 49. Second problem is he's manipulative as hell, mirrors emotions and behaviours, pretends to be this super helpful gentleman but then talks people down and uses his help as a currency for "favours". Third problem is he's married. He even has a daughter, older than my gf by nearly a decade. EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION THIS I ORIGINAL POST - he has not informed my current gf at the time they were a thing that he is married, neither did he show signs. In fact she just found out he has a daughter from my mom a few days back and looked shocked tbf. My mom doesn't know about any of it so she didn't understand why is my gf standing there in awe but I did my best to hide the truth and just waffle our way out of this conversation. I can't comprehend how any father would just blatantly go with a girl that's his daughter's age or younger, especially while having a wife. You got everything you can ask for and still look for more... 4th problem is that it's not just my gf. It has been several girls. Once I found out what happened between my gf and him I digged up a few informations and found out he's been doing this kind of thing for years, and he's acting like nothing ever happened. He still doesn't know that I found out and he's acting like nothing was ever between them two towards my gf. And 5th, last but not least. I think the worst problem of them all is that it took a tremendous hit on my gf's mental health. She has told me that she wished I'd never found out and she didn't exactly mean on telling me but she could tell it was getting serious between us and i noticed a few outlying stories when she'd tell them to me and connected the dots too quick pretty much. She wanted to act like nothing ever happened but when she told me it was as if something inside her broke the wall of emotions and gave her a medium to pour her anger and sadness out to. Now from my own life and feelings I can tell that I won't leave her over that. It's in the past, she had no right to know we'd end up together so happy and this could post a threat to us so it's not a valid reason to end a relationship. And I don't wanna end it to be honest. She's a wonderful woman and treats me better than I could ever feel I deserve so all I try to do is really match the level of happiness I give her to the one she gives me. But I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me. Sometimes when we're in bed it just flashes into my mind that this Guy was in the same position with her. That he used her for his pleasure and didn't even care about her after, pretending nothing happened. Also, I've always struggled with young population being hurt, especially with p3dos and abusers. I've got desensitised to death, wounds, blood and all gore stuff (I have worked in healthcare and I'm in anatomy major now) but I can't stand adults using and abusing children. It just kills me deeply since they don't know much better when they're young. I also can't comprehend how could he do it to his wife. And daughter too. What if they find out? Will he just pretend nothing happened? I know for sure he'd lie about it and say it's all bollocks and bullshit but that's not how it was. And truth always comes out on top. It tempts me so much to gather all that info I found along with the girls' names and ages and just to give it to his family.
That was few months back. It hit me like a truck but I went into therapy with this being main concern and somehow managed to get better. I ended up not including his family in the whole ordeal as I have found out that his now ex-wife is not really in the picture and they have parted their ways over unknown reasons. But... Literally yesterday I finally got told by my gf that in fact, her FWB thing didn't end in January last year but instead shortly before we began dating, and that whilst dating me she went to his house again to tell him that they won't be able to continue this situationship. And that she also lied to me that she's never sent him explicit pictures. She did. And apparently she needed about an hour to talk to him about ending it while being in relationship with me, and that they talked a bit about cars and life stuff. Also of course she denies that anything happened and tells me all our relationship was true and she means it all that she loves me etc. I feel like a wreck. Barely slept all night. I feel used and deceived into believing it was nothing where she treats him like some sort of child she has to protect. And yes, of course I was hit with the "I don't deserve you" I don't know what to feel or do. I'm just existing in the mere present, trying to focus on work and not give any signs of trouble to my family. They all love my gf and are so happy that I finally found someone who treats me right (I've left 5 year long abusive relationship before and had been a subject to bullying, death threats and many more devastating experiences). At least in hindsight she treated me well. And promised that everything between us was true. But she was scared she'd lose me if I found out, first of all about their affair and then about the fact that she lied. But I can't understand how could she love me and still lie straight to my face. Pretend nothing like that ever happened and deleted all their conversations so that noone finds out. She feels horrible, I can tell that. But so do I. Hell, terrible is an understatement. I feel like a void of a person. And the thing is I can't even hurt her back. I just can't fathom hurting her but what did I ever do to deserve getting treated like this again? And the moment I see her in person I feel sad but also so so so mad and angry, I don't even hold my words back and I know it hurts both of us but I just don't know what to say or do. I just ask questions and feel like shit hearing the answers. And worst part is noone apart from the three of us and redditors here know about this. I don't ever wanna say this to my family or friends I don't want them to hate her. But if we end up separating how do I ever explain it to them. What will her poor parents think. I'd miss them too. Her mom even called me her future son-in-law, and she's great woman. I help her around the house all the time. Her dad's a handyman so he gets along with me like my own old man. I don't wanna lose everything I've built and given over the last year but it feels like it's just sand falling through my hands now. I don't know how can i even believe what she's saying

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. So I’ve started seeing my current boyfriend about 2 years ago. I am Christian and he is Muslim but we are both not religious and he’s more towards unbeliever. His family isn’t very religions and his sibling is married to a Christian and they’re happy and all is well. He doesn’t want me to convert and I don’t want him to convert either. We’ve also talked about the future and answered all the difficult questions in terms of kids, etc. and we’re in sync regarding those things.
My family, on the other hand, is very religious and when I announced that I’m seeing someone but he’s not Christian, they immediately told me to break it off before it gets harder to later. I have then been trying to speak to them and convince them that this is my choice and I’m not very religious but they keep saying that they see into the future and this won’t end well because his family is of a different background in terms of religion.
We all live fairly close to one another so I see them and my nephews a lot but I’m getting tired of seeing them and acting like everything is okay.
I’ve spoken to my mom and dad countless times, explaining to them how I’m not going to let go of my Christianity, how I will baptize my kids, we can also try to get something called a dispensation letter from a bishop that will allow this, I will introduce my kids to Christianity and they still won’t budge.
I also clarified that even if I am to marry someone Christian, I will choose someone who’s not as religious and I won’t be taking my kids to Sunday school or forcing them to have the same level of faith that I or their grandparents have. They are also worried that when my kids mingle with my sister’s kids, that would be an issue. They’ve also told me I must bear the consequences if I choose to take this path because I’m the one leaving theiChristianity’s path by my own will and I have to bear the consequences of them not meeting him, not attending my wedding, not meeting his family, not mingling with us at gatherings.
My father also told me that they love me and because they love me they’re doing this to avoid the inevitable future I will be facing and that i should wake up and see that I’m doing is wrong and come back to the right path. This has gone on for too long and it’s affecting me mentally and physically as I have gained a lot of weight emotional eating. My boyfriend’s family welcomes me with open arms and I see them regularly but not all of them know the issues we’re facing with my family.
TDLR: it’s getting tiring to do everyday tasks and act like everything is okay when it’s not. It’s also exhausting to be made to feel that I’m doing something wrong and throwing away my values and that it’s my fault if they stop mingling with me.

This week's book club list is as follows (enjoy reading and comment which your favourite is below):
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1. "Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More" by Vitale J., Len I.H. - If it seems like you work hard but never get anywhere, maybe the problem is something within you. Maybe the limitations holding you back come from inside you, not from the outside world. Zero Limits presents a proven way to break through those self-imposed limitations to achieve more in life than you ever dreamed.
2. "The Probiotic Solution: Nature's Best-Kept Secret for Radiant Health" by Mark A., Dr Brudnak - In The Probiotic Solution, Dr. Mark Brudnak states a greater truth: "Disease begins from an imbalance in the body." Good health is a dance on the tightrope of balance. Lose your balance for long enough-and you plunge toward crisis-if not death. Find and maintain balance-and you can enjoy the fruits of a happy, healthy life. It's the law of nature.Whatever causes imbalance, causes ill health-be it cancer, heart disease, autism, diabetes or obesity.
3. "The Bible secret of divine health" by Gordon Lindsay - In this book is revealed one of the greatest secrets of practical living found in the Bible. It recognizes Divine healing as God’s promise for the believer but—and this is important—it goes further. Much teaching on Divine healing misses the profound truth that God intends that his children should not be sick at all—that they should prosper and be in health even as their soul prospers.
4. "The Low Carb Myth: Free Yourself from Carb Myths, and Discover the Secret Keys That Really Determine Your Health and Fat Loss Destiny " by Whitten, Ari; Smith, Dr Wade; D, M - Do Carbs Make You Fat, Hungry, and Lazy? Read to find out.
5. "The Secret Language of Your Body: The Essential Guide to Health and Wellness" by Segal, Inna - The Secret Language of your Body is a comprehensive guide to healing. In this long-awaited book, Inna Segal unveils the secrets to understanding the messages of the body and reveals the underlying energetic causes of over 200 symptoms and medical conditions. This powerful handbook explores almost every conceivable part of the human body, delving deeply into the possible reasons for problems in any given area of the body and offering a unique, step-by-step method to assist in returning the body to its natural state of health.
6. "Ikigai Diet: The Secret of Japanese Diet to Health and Longevity" by Sachiaki Takamiya - Are you interested in natural food, organic lifestyle, or macrobiotic diet? If so, this is a book for you. It has the most recent information on traditional Japanese dietary culture. If you want to be healthy, the optimal way is to model the best of the best in the field. Who are the healthiest people on the planet then? Well, Japan is considered to be the country with the longest life expectancy, and it is featured in many books including The Blue Zones and Ikigai.
7. "Dumping Iron: How to Ditch This Secret Killer and Reclaim Your Health" by P. D. Mangan - How to Ditch This Secret Killer and Reclaim Your Health is a game-changer in health and fitness. The accumulation of excess iron in the body, a condition that affects perhaps the majority of adults, leads to much higher risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity, brain diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and shorter lifespan. Dumping Iron shows how to measure your iron levels, what the test numbers mean, and how to go about lowering iron if necessary.
8. "Breathe Smart: The Secret to Happiness, Health and Long Life" by Aaron Hoopes - Learn the secret Yoga and Tai Chi masters have known for centuries and discover one of the most fundamental dimensions of good health: proper breathing. Breathe Smart shows us how, through deep, conscious breathing we can raise the level of oxygen in the body and reap the benefits of increased energy, better health, and a stronger sense of well-being.
9. "Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth Cookbook (Simple, Delicious Recipes for Health & Longevity)" by Devanando Otfried Weise - This book is excellent for those who wish to embrace Food Combining i.e. what has become known as the Hay Diet. It is where one avoids mixing starch-based foods and protein-based foods in the same meal.
10. "The Calcium Factor: The Scientific Secret of Health and Youth" by Robert R. Barefoot; Carl J. Reich - Did you know that scientists have found that cancer thrives in an acidic medium, but cannot survive in an alkaline medium? Did you know that with vitamin and mineral supplements, you can lower the acidity of your body fluids and become healthy? Here's a challenge: If the answer to any or all of these questions is "No", then you owe it to yourself to read The Calcium Factor, not only for the sake of your own health, but for the sake of your family and friends.

So, which one are you picking up next or have read? Let us know with a comment and upvote and share this post and our sub bodychemistry to stay tuned for more reading lists every week!
Love, marmalada

I have been working in the NHS for 9 years now - 2 years foundation training, 2 years core training and 5 years of specialty training.
I am about to CCT and haven't gained anything from rotational training.
I have rotated in 7 different hospitals since I started. It took me at least 4 months to get used to the IT system, local policies and the more I progressed in my speciality training the more difficult it was to work around these changes as I was expected to make senior level decisions. Decisions which could have resulted in an adverse outcome. It scared me. I spoke to my TPD and got the answer we all get: " I did the same so can you "
I have school going children and had to settle and bought a house. I still had to drive upto an hour after on calls. I spoke to everyone I could and got the same answer - " I did the same so can you "
I fell asleep at the wheel post nights. I stopped over to sleep immediately. I wanted to come home. I wanted to see my children and spouse, even if they were asleep. It was the pandemic at that time and I was told " stay in the hospital accomodation if you are too tired to drive". I wanted to spend time with my family as I never knew I would make it home ( colleagues were dying life right and centre initially ) The trust local to my house was within walking distance and I wasn't rotated there till 3 years later.
I feel its time we all join forces and raise hell. The BMA is doing a lot of good work around MAPs and doctors pay. Let's get another survey out showing how rotational training affects doctors well being and patient safety.
Here is my solution 1. Trainees have to work in one teaching hospital. Fair enough. But that should be paired with only ONE DGH. 2. Speciality like resp need some speciality stuff which is available in one trust in the region - the TPDs can help establish the centres they must rotate in and allow Trainees to choose one district hospital local to them 3. This way trusts will work more to improve Trainees well being and ensure they remain popular among Trainees otherwise they will loose Trainees from the following year. In order for the TPD to be able to get an accurate review , they should have anonymous surveys which their Trainees fill out and are discussed in their speciality training committee meeting.
Why I think the BMA is better doing this. They're already overwhelmed but they're getting more and more popular among doctors. Non medics listen to their opinions ( MAPs survey results and PA in certain GP surgeries for example)
TDLR Rotational training is shit. It's not good for us. It's not good for patient care. Can the BMA possibly do a survey on this and publish the findings ?

I have read all of the arguments supporting the legitimacy of Christianity and Islam. I am not here to deny these arguments nor claim that I'm certain Islam/Christianity are false, however the bottom line is when putting all of the supporting evidence together we still need to go back and ask the simple question:
"Is all of this evidence enough for me to confidently say that Judaism was indeed succeeded by Islam/Christianity - so much so that I am willing to alter my entire life because I believe so strongly about that it succeeded Judaism"
Personally, I cannot logically understand how any believers in Christianity/Islam can say this so confidently. The bottom line is that before these religions came about there seems to be no indication amongst Jews that they were expecting Judaism to be succeeded by another religion. If this was the case then they wouldn't have had any issue with Christianity and Islam since it was part of Gods plan, and they are followers of God at their core.
And I will reiterate, I understand that Christians/Muslims often point to certain verses in the Bible/Scriptures supporting their claim of succession (e.g. Isaiah 53, Deuteronomy 18, etc.), but the bottom line is that there are multiple ways to understand these verses and in particular the Jewish interpretation in defense is also just as logical as the Christian and Muslim interpretation.
If so then how can you as a Muslim or Christian be so confident about the legitimacy of your religion?
NOTE: In anticipation of people answering me that there was such and such miracle that occurred and this is overwhelming evidence for the legitimacy of Christianity/Islam I am providing below the reasons why they don't hold much weight in my eyes when attempting to answer my core question above:
1) Perfectness of Quran - I can take a children's book and explain it in a way that logically sounds like its a perfect text straight from Gods mouth. (anything in this world can be flipped on its head to sound logical)
2) Miracles Performed - Personally I assign a believability score to information based on the number people claiming to have seen something firsthand (e.g. I often don't assign a high believability score to news events even if many people are echoing/repeating the news, so long that the source of the initial news was from a single reportejournalist). There is basis to claim that the source of the news for some of the miracles was a single source. Putting that aside though, even if Jesus/Mohammed did perform miracles I still think its a fairly big jump to say that they can now be believed in their claims of a successor religion given that the Torah outlines very clearly that performing miracles does not give one the credibility to change the Torah. Although one can argue the text should be interpreted differently nevertheless going back to what I mentioned earlier, the Jewish interpretation is also logical.

Before I begin, I know people like to throw rage bait around and such but I want to be clear, I'm not implying anything, I'm not looking for any specific answer, and I would appreciate good faith discussion, thank you!
As we all know, there has been discussion about the average FFXIV player being bad at the game for quite a long time now. While in my experience I find this to be true, I'm only one person and my anecdotal experiences don't necessarily make up for an accurate representation of millions of people. While that perspective may not necessarily be statistically accurate, for the sake of this discussion lets just pretend that exactly 51% of players are objectively bad at the game (sub 50% of expected dps, tremendous overhealing, extremely low uptime, not using utilities and mits, ect)
In this scenario I would like to be clear that I also believe that (for the most part) when massive swathes of your playerbase are considered bad at the game the fault largely lies with the developers and not the players. An important aspect of game design is to guide players through a gradual curve of difficulty throughout the game without them realizing other than during planned difficulty spikes at important moments. If every level in Mario was as difficult as 1-1 then players would have no reason, nor no motivation to ever improve and most never would. This is what I believe to be the culprit of this situation in FFXIV. This is to say that I don't fault anyone for their skill level at the game, or any game for that matter, it is just a game at the end of the day and the stakes aren't necessarily high.
Long tangent aside, the question I wanted to ask is; what do you think should be the minimum expectation in group content in which other players are relying on you? At what point do you personally believe a performance too poor to be accepted regularly? My personal opinion on it is that with the addition of Trusts the expectation should be raised in content over 50 or even 70 to be lenient. I don't necessarily find it healthy or positive that players who are freshly level 90 are basically considered the same as, and perform roughly the same as, a level 10 sprout. I would love to see CS3 go back and retroactively rework the multiplayer normal-mode content and add a gradual and reasonable difficulty curve as players go, with the addition of new Job based solo-trials that teach players important nuanced aspects of the game and ask them to prove that they have learned it by executing on it in said solo duty, ie: lining up a burst window with AI's scripted to do it at an interval, or keeping up at least 90% uptime on a dummy while dodging some simple mechanics for a duration of time. I think this would go a long way to helping players naturally improve without realizing it and without throwing them into stressful multiplayer situations where they are uncomfortable and they also bring down the experience of 3 other people.
In short think cs3 does a poor job readying players for their own game's content and promotes allowing players to play at extremely poor levels of performance with little to no consequence, often without the player even realizing they're doing anything wrong due to this, not necessarily because they want to perform poorly.
What are your thoughts? Do you think I'm asking too much of the average player? Do you think its fine as is? I would really like to hear some other thoughts on the matter, and sorry for wall of rant, I hope I came across clearly.

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

I have read all of the arguments supporting the legitimacy of Christianity and Islam. I am not here to deny these arguments nor claim that I'm certain Islam/Christianity are false, however the bottom line is when putting all of the supporting evidence together we still need to go back and ask the simple question:
"Is all of this evidence enough for me to confidently say that Judaism was indeed succeeded by Islam/Christianity - so much so that I am willing to alter my entire life because I believe so strongly about that it succeeded Judaism"
Personally, I cannot logically understand how any believers in Christianity/Islam can say this so confidently. The bottom line is that before these religions came about there seems to be no indication amongst Jews that they were expecting Judaism to be succeeded by another religion. If this was the case then they wouldn't have had any issue with Christianity and Islam since it was part of Gods plan, and they are followers of God at their core.
And I will reiterate, I understand that Christians/Muslims often point to certain verses in the Bible/Scriptures supporting their claim of succession (e.g. Isaiah 53, Deuteronomy 18, etc.), but the bottom line is that there are multiple ways to understand these verses and in particular the Jewish interpretation in defense is also just as logical as the Christian and Muslim interpretation.
If so then how can you as a Muslim or Christian be so confident about the legitimacy of your religion?
NOTE: In anticipation of people answering me that there was such and such miracle that occurred and this is overwhelming evidence for the legitimacy of Christianity/Islam I am providing below the reasons why they don't hold much weight in my eyes when attempting to answer my core question above:
1) Perfectness of Quran - I can take a children's book and explain it in a way that logically sounds like its a perfect text straight from Gods mouth. (anything in this world can be flipped on its head to sound logical)
2) Miracles Performed - Personally I assign a believability score to information based on the number people claiming to have seen something firsthand (e.g. I often don't assign a high believability score to news events even if many people are echoing/repeating the news, so long that the source of the initial news was from a single reportejournalist). There is basis to claim that the source of the news for some of the miracles was a single source. Putting that aside though, even if Jesus/Mohammed did perform miracles I still think its a fairly big jump to say that they can now be believed in their claims of a successor religion given that the Torah outlines very clearly that performing miracles does not give one the credibility to change the Torah. Although one can argue the text should be interpreted differently nevertheless going back to what I mentioned earlier, the Jewish interpretation is also logical.

Trying to publish some maps and I keep running into this:

• 1.18 Island Content Disclosures - When submitting your IARC Age Rating Questionnaire, you are required to accurately disclose relevant content within your Island in order to receive age appropriate ratings. Inaccurate questionnaire responses may result in your content being rejected, and repeated violations risks further action, including potentially having your monetization and publishing privileges suspended or permanently revoked. If the content within your creative island is NOT listed below, this release is blocked because images and text used to promote your experience must be appropriate for a general audience (e.g. content that would merit a rating of ESRB Everyone 10+, or lower).
  • The content within your creative island

I've only used fortnite assets I haven't added any textures or anything, everything has come from the epic section of the content drawer.
Is there something ridiculously obvious I'm missing? I answered no to all the questions, am I supposed to answer yes to some in certain circumstances? Its just a normal shooter map with voice activated.

I have read all of the arguments supporting the legitimacy of Christianity and Islam. I am not here to deny these arguments nor claim that I'm certain Islam/Christianity are false, however the bottom line is when putting all of the supporting evidence together we still need to go back and ask the simple question:
"Is all of this evidence enough for me to confidently say that Judaism was indeed succeeded by Islam/Christianity - so much so that I am willing to alter my entire life because I believe so strongly about that it succeeded Judaism"
Personally, I cannot logically understand how any believers in Christianity/Islam can say this so confidently. The bottom line is that before these religions came about there seems to be no indication amongst Jews that they were expecting Judaism to be succeeded by another religion. If this was the case then they wouldn't have had any issue with Christianity and Islam since it was part of Gods plan, and they are followers of God at their core.
And I will reiterate, I understand that Christians/Muslims often point to certain verses in the Bible/Scriptures supporting their claim of succession (e.g. Isaiah 53, Deuteronomy 18, etc.), but the bottom line is that there are multiple ways to understand these verses and in particular the Jewish interpretation in defense is also just as logical as the Christian and Muslim interpretation.
If so then how can you as a Muslim or Christian be so confident about the legitimacy of your religion?
NOTE: In anticipation of people answering me that there was such and such miracle that occurred and this is overwhelming evidence for the legitimacy of Christianity/Islam I am providing below the reasons why they don't hold much weight in my eyes when attempting to answer my core question above:
1) Perfectness of Quran - I can take a children's book and explain it in a way that logically sounds like its a perfect text straight from Gods mouth. (anything in this world can be flipped on its head to sound logical)
2) Miracles Performed - Personally I assign a believability score to information based on the number people claiming to have seen something firsthand (e.g. I often don't assign a high believability score to news events even if many people are echoing/repeating the news, so long that the source of the initial news was from a single reportejournalist). There is basis to claim that the source of the news for some of the miracles was a single source. Putting that aside though, even if Jesus/Mohammed did perform miracles I still think its a fairly big jump to say that they can now be believed in their claims of a successor religion given that the Torah outlines very clearly that performing miracles does not give one the credibility to change the Torah. Although one can argue the text should be interpreted differently nevertheless going back to what I mentioned earlier, the Jewish interpretation is also logical.

Hi everyone, I'm an international student going into fall 2024, I only got accepted a few days ago and I'm a bit confused. I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, I'm used to a different school system (and language for that matter). I will be going into my first year of CS, I was told to apply as transfer because I did some courses in a university here in my country, however they were for another degree so I have no actual credits. I assumed that because of this, I would be placed with first-year students. However in the housing application I only get upper-level rooms and learning communities. I want to apply to a residential learning community but I get asked questions for upperclassmen. Has anyone else had this happen? I emailed the university for help but they usually take a few days to answer and I'm supposed to send this application before tomorrow. Any help would be appreciated!

I played FSW and it was an absolute blast, my first experience in RS3 since 2014, I've mostly been an OSRS player since it launched.
I'm thinking on getting started on RS3 again but I was fast tracked so heavily in FSW and legit have a near maxed account but my knowledge on the game does not reflect my stats lmao
I have 216 QP and think questing is a good place to get stuck in since I enjoy it, however my main concern is I feel I've skipped some important aspects of the game because of how far ahead I got e.g My Archeology is level 100 but I've done almost none of the site completions and I know that's an important skill to actually engage with. How can I go go back and do the important sites? Same feeling towards a lot of skills, like farming, I know it's not as important as a main but I'd still like to do some player owned farms for fun etc
Any advice on what must have unlocks/stuff every account should go for to help guide me would be much appreciated!

Are you passionate about storytelling and community engagement? Do you have a knack for keeping things organized and fostering a positive atmosphere? If so, we want you to join the mod team at TikTales!
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📋 Enforce Community Guidelines: Help uphold our community guidelines and ensure that all members feel safe and respected. Moderate posts and comments, address user concerns, and maintain a positive atmosphere within the subreddit.
🚀 Drive Growth and Innovation: Contribute your ideas and insights to help TikTales continue to grow and evolve. Explore new opportunities for engagement, host events and challenges, and help take our community to the next level.
Whether you're a seasoned moderator or looking to take your first step into the world of community management, there's a place for you on the mod team at TikTales. Join us today and help shape the future of storytelling on Reddit!

In this post I want to break down how I think about and how I build custom B2B lead gen eco-systems that are designed to engage a cold prospect, educate and help them to then turn into $XX,XXX deals.
I'll share the metrics and best practices from my own experiences from working with around 20 b2b companies with varying deal sizes, starting from $5k marketing packages, to $90k/yr fintech solutions and $200k software dev & IT deals. If you don't agree with my approach, that's fine, there's multiple ways to skin a cat.
Fundamentals are mostly the same and we can split it in 3 main parts.

1. Traffic acquisition
2. Nurture & education mechanism
3. Conversion mechanism.

Where most businesses go wrong is that they try to sell their expensive service to a cold prospect.
That might look like cold emailing and cold "linkedining" (new term) prospects an offer or asking if they're interested in this and that, on the spot.
This is not a good approach for one simple reason - no one want's to be sold to. Not to say that this direct approach doesn't work, for some it works good enough to stay afloat, but it's not something you can use to drive real, inbound interest in your services. Selling to prospects that you get on a sales call from 1 email or DM is extremely hard since you have to do the heavy lifting to educate them on the call and then you also have to sell them.
My goal is to turn this dynamic on it's head. Yes, we want to reach out to cold prospects. Yes, we want to run ads. But not to sell immediately. Rather, we're inviting and getting those prospects into our ecosystem where if they go through your educational materials like reports, case studies, how-to's AND have a real pain, they will come to you to solve it.
Let's break it down.
Traffic acquisition.
There's 2 channels I use to acquire traffic. Sometimes I use both, sometimes one or the other. For the most part that depends on the TAM and what we're selling.
1 - Paid ads (LI and META) are great if you need volume and your deal size varies between $5k - $20k. If you get it right, it's a system that scales easily so you can control demand and growth fairly easily too. It's also very quick and easy to troubleshoot since you can change a variable and see the result in next 3 days.
The ultimate goal of paid ads is to get as many people in your funnel as possible. The only logical way to do it is using lead magnets. Industry specific reports with unique insights that only your ICP would care about, easy-to-code tools that only your ICP would find useful (calculators work great for me), guides and courses made to solve a very specific problem, you get the picture.
We're giving away this free value in exchange for their email address. I can already hear people yelling "But giving away stuff for free only attracts freebie seekers" That's because you don't have a mechanism in place to convert that opt-in into a deal. (I'll go into in the next sections)
To make a great lead magnet I follow this mantra:

1. Has to be industry and role specific
2. Has to solve 1 painful problem for the lead
3. No surface-level, bait-and-switch teasing BS. (using lead magnet as a sales page is a big no-no)

Lead magnet is your chance to build rapport, show your competence and build good will by actually helping your prospects before you ever speak with them. USE IT WISELY. I see many businesses only tease the solution. My advice - give away all your secrets. If you're vague, your leads will think that your approach is basic and you won't capture the interest.
For us, around 20% of lead magnet leads opt-in into the next step of the funnel where we ask much more details. Company name, website, name, phone, etc, etc.
Do this step right and you'll get leads from your ICP opting into your funnel in droves, for cheap.
One little hack I do whenever I launch lead magnet campaigns is create 5-10 lead magnet ideas, create the ads and the landing pages, but don't create the lead magnet itself. Then run ads to those 5-10 lead magnets and see what your cost per lead is AND see what quality leads you attract. My baseline KPI's are sub $15 CPL on the initial launch and 3 out of 10 leads be real, actual companies that fit the ICP.
If you hit that initially, you can reiterate on the ads and the LP and get your CPL way lower.
2 - Cold outreach (LI and email) is great if you're after high ticket or enterprise level deals.
Cold outreach is great for huge target markets and/or very high value accounts. You won't reach Elon Mush through ads, but you could through cold outreach.
Instead of blanket-spamming 10k leads that might or might not need our service we do this.

1. Score companies based on fit (we use AI for this on scale by giving it bad fit examples, medium fit examples and great fit examples while also describing why each is bad, medium or great. Then we ask to output a score from 1-10)
2. For companies that score 7 or higher, look at buying signals. Recent hires, open positions, growth or decline, recent funding, featured in news (why featured in news?) and, of course, technographics.
3. Companies that display positive signals AND are a fit based on scoring, we send a personalized message automatically.

90% of this happens automatically at this point, but don't get confused - it's not AI copy that gets sent out. We have a general template and framework that we base our messages upon and AI fills in the blanks. All that is based on what information we find on the companies and what state they're currently in.
"Hey Adam, saw that Houberz is looking for an engineer with deep understanding of X. I know first hand how hard it is to fill such roles.
I have a case study on how we did Y using X technology, thought you might be interested in giving it a quick read before you pull someone onboard."
This is the general gist of it. Combine it with reaching out to leads that are likely in-market and you'll average 15% reply rates. Blast 10k emails to random list and you'll get 0.5% - 1% reply rates.
That is how we get qualified traffic on the front end.
This is how we convert it into deals.
1.1 - Paid
Once you have people claiming your lead magnet, the magic happens on the thank you page. I've seen many people just have a generic thank you page that does not prompt the next action.
Wasted digital real estate.
Instead of leaving it blank, we either have a call booking page where we pitch a non-sales call that would help fix the lead a specific problem or a signup page for a live workshop.
2nd has higher opt-in rate, but has longer time-to-deal, 1st gives you 1-1 time with high value prospects, but is more expensive..
Ideally, run both. Best of both worlds.
On top of that, when someone opts in and claims your lead magnets, you can then email them on a regular basis as part of your newsletter which gives you another channel to nurture leads and throw offers their way.
2.1 - Cold outreach
As soon as you receive a positive response to your lead magnet offer, you send it over, find that person on LI and connect (so you have another channel and they see that you're a real human) then ask if they're struggling with a specific problem that your service can fix.
If they do, great, share more case studies, share how they could solve the problem themselves and then soft-pitch a meeting in which you propose to "continue the conversation"
For cold, each convo will be different so you will have to come up with helpful and relevant email responses on the fly.
Remember speed-to-lead. The faster you answer, the higher the chance of you pushing the lead to the next step of your funnel.
So do you need both of these acquisition channels? Do you also need to post on Linkedin and dance on Tiktok?
Depends on your business. Generally, the more eyes you have on you, the more deals you'll close. These two channels are foundation for myself and any business I consult, but to supplement that and build credibility, we're also heavily investing in LI organic.
Why? People who watch your ads and engage with your emails will check out your LI eventually. If it's barren, you won't leave an impression. If it's packed with valuable, funny, insightful and humanizing posts, not only your leads will connect with you, but they'll feel compelled to engage.
So it's not one system or another - it's all of them working in cohesion.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

After watching a good and thoughtful film, I enjoy doing some reading, thinking, and writing about it. The 1998 film The Truman Show (directed by Peter Weir) is the kind of film that I found myself watching twice in succession, and I've watched it several times since, because it is so intriguing. But is it a spiritual allegory, or is it just a good story, or perhaps something else?
This movie narrates the life of Truman Banks (Jim Carrey), who is unaware that his entire life on the island of Seahaven is completely constructed by a TV crew, and is part of a constantly running reality television program called The Truman Show, watched by millions 24/7 world-wide. But when Truman comes to realize that something is strange about his world, he makes plans to escape his artificially manipulated universe.
The premise is a clever one, and the film succeeds on the level of story alone. But what's particularly of interest to me are the profound philosophical and religious questions that the movie seems to ask. It raises age-old philosophical questions common in the field of epistemology, concerning what we can know about reality e.g. could I be deceived about what my senses and experiences are telling me about reality? But it also appears to explore many deep religious questions by means of allusions to Christian themes. Consider how the TV producer Christof (= Christ of) is the "creator" of Truman (= True Man), and functions as a god who controls his world.
This symbolism seems too strong to ignore. As a result there is considerable debate about the worldview behind the film, and whether it is intended to portray an atheistic or Christian worldview. I've found that reviewers who pick up on the Christian symbolism typically fall into one of two camps which come to opposite conclusions about the point of the film:

1. Those who see it as a secular film, by portraying the Christian God as a cruel and harsh dictator who operates a deterministic universe from which we need to escape by rejecting God. According to this view, Truman's liberation is a depiction of the Fall, and promotes an atheistic lifestyle of rebellion against the Creator and an escape from Eden. Others have tried to be more charitable by interpreting it in line with Calvinistic theology, suggesting that the film depicts the tragedy rather than the triumph of sin, but this is implausible in view of how the Creator is portrayed negatively and how the final liberation is presented so positively.
2. Those who see it as a criticism of secularism, by suggesting that Satan creates an artificial world for us, from which we need to escape by converting to the truth. According to this view, Truman's liberation promotes the need to escape the deception of Satan (the anti-Christ), and exchange it for a life lived in service to the true God. Some have even seen it as giving a positive message about Christianity, for if Seahaven represents an illusionary man-made Paradise, then Truman's decision to leave this old world behind is symbolic of a conversion experience, and he represents a Christ-like figure who models the way of salvation.

The first view interprets The Truman Show as a story of the Fall, where Christoff symbolizes the true God, and Sylvia (who encourages Truman to escape his "world") is a serpent-tempter figure that brings rebellion. The second view interprets The Truman Show as a story of Redemption, where Christoff symbolizes an anti-Christ, and Sylvia is an intercessor that brings freedom in contrast to the Judas figure Marlon. Proponents of both views have engaged in considerable debate over these two interpretations, the former which sees the Truman Show as a secular existentialist film, the latter which sees it as a pro-Christian film.
Certainly the rich symbolism in the film lends itself to an interpretation which gives the Christological imagery throughout the film a more important meaning than mere allusion. But neither of the above explanations is entirely satisfactory or consistent. Because how can Truman be a rebel who rejects God, and at the same time a Christ-like figure (he is depicted as crucified in the boat, and at the end walks on water and ascends into a stairway of heaven)? And how can Christoff be representative of a deterministic creator, and at the same time an anti-Christ? A consistent allegorical interpretation fails in its application, and should already be a hint that one is not intended.
Personally I think that the best solution is one which is neither overly critical nor overly charitable with respect to the Biblical imagery. Instead it is better to see the imagery as subordinate to other themes about the media and television.
Director Peter Weir has gone on record in more than one interview that the film is about television. Weir is of this conviction: "My attitude to television, personally, is too much of it is a bad thing." According to Weir: "And that's really at the heart of what the film looks at in a major way - this disturbance to our perception of reality, as a result of the immense entertainment and actuality coming at us, to the point where you can't differentiate anymore. News programs that are entertaining; video everywhere." Given Weir's remarks, I believe that the Truman Show is essentially a sharp criticism of the dangers of a false reality cultivated by the media, and a warning against losing our sense of reality.
Clearly Weir has chosen to portray the director Christoff as a creator figure very deliberately. But he does not use this image to push a religious agenda, but to give a social commentary about problems created by the modern media, which blurs the lines between appearance and reality.
In that regard, his analysis of television speaks to our time: to what extent is our perception of the world the result of manipulation by the media? And do we need to be liberated from the artificial reality of a TV world and return to the real world? I see this explanation as more plausible than one which sees the film as a simple spiritual allegory, or which interprets it as an indictment on reality television. It's also worth noting that the release of the movie predates much of the contemporary fascination with reality TV shows.
In short, I don't think the Truman Show is defending an atheist worldview or a Christian one. Instead it is merely employing Biblical themes and allusions as servants to its real theme and social commentary about the media and television. It has to be conceded that both Christoff's and Truman's characters have clear Christological symbolism. But the film is ambiguous about which of the two is to be identified as the Christ figure simply because it doesn't want us making a choice between them. Although the religious symbolism is too strong to ignore, in the end it is subordinate to the more central theme about the role of television and media in our culture, and is a means to an end rather than an end in itself.
So in my view, it's a mistake to see the film either as an attack on Christianity, or as a tool for Christian evangelism. That's not to say that the film doesn't raise interesting parallels on a religious levels, because it can spark interesting discussions about how a creator might watch over humanity, or how a Satan figure might deceive.
Ironically, the Truman Show has created its own deception: while appearances suggest it is a spiritual allegory, a closer look reveals that this perception is merely an illusion. It's first and foremost just a good story. But at the same time it is using spiritual imagery to raise important questions about the use of TV and the media.

Hello folks,
I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and currently taking Methylphenidate (AKA Ritalin/Mediknet) on a regular basis. I'm a little bit worried about possible legal catches. Following are my specific questions:

• What if something is found in a drug test (let's say in a traffic control or as a requirement for some jobs that need security clearance)? Provided that I can show them medical diagnoses and prescriptions (everything from Germany)
• How's the regulation for having my medicaments with me when travelling? Let's say for vacation, I take as much as I need for the duration of the vacation + 10%, or I need to travel professionally to a country, where I need to stay for a couple of months for work (everything legally approved through my work relationshipt and stuff).

Thank you in advance!
BTW: My German is on a C2 level and I prefer for you to answer in German, if that's OK. I'm sure that some legal subtilities get lost in translation. I just wrote in English, since it's easier for me to write.

Novel - PEACE IS WHAT I WANT
Author note:-
How should i start. Lets say. I am just a student[19 M] And today i am going to start a writing a novel. Well... ...its always good to start a new work.
Enthusiasm...
thats what i am now feeling. I can't describe it in words. I can say that my grammar is bad. Umm so bad.
English is my second language. But i am going to try. I am going to persevere.
I am starting a novel on indian mythology. Well like indian sects.
Months ago.
I am just scrolling reddit. Seeing the memes on fy. And laughing my ass off.
unknowingly i stumbled on a comment and the comment is-
just think how if a cultivation novel based on indian mythology. Like There are 28 states in india. So.
We can make 28 sects and like this. And india is also a sacred country.
Just think there are so many mystery like kailash parvat( Kangrinboqe Peak).
So many mystries...
I was just staring at the comment something was rising in me.
Like this is my destiny. I am going to be a great writer. I will make millions of money. So i procrastinated this idea. Well i am a good procrastinater..
Months later today at 1 am on night while wasting my time on scrolling reddit.
I am suddenly feeling something. I am feeling like i have to do something productive. i have to make money So i thought to write a novel. Well its not going to the level of RI or Lotm. But i can try to make it good. I will daily use my 4 hours in this work.
I know i am not going to make any money on this.
But i am atleast trying to make something new. I am not good in studies.
No no no...
Its like i had never focus on studies.
From 2 years daily minimum 5 hours... I am reading novels.
Just novels. To cultivation to progression fantasy. Just novel.
But the idea of writing novel I always procrastinated that.
But today i am feeling so much enthusiasm i am going to start it now.
Special note-
If anyone wants to be a part of this journey. join me in this wonderful journey.
Well its going to be not paid. Its like internship. You will learn something. Like i need a editor. If any of you who is interested in this journey. You can dm me. Lets start.
I am clarify now this first chapter is something i am just writing it to describe. What is my potential. Like it will be my first novel and there are so many challenges i am going to face it. I am human afterall... I will going to make mistakes obviously. Day by day my writing will just going to improve.
Just adjust a bit.
You will definitely going to enjoy.
Chapter 1 - ITS STARTING
Hahahahah.
This is hilarious I have just wrote that I am going to make a wonderful novel and see I can't even type anything on my keyboard.
As i am seeing on my laptop. My frustration is increasing. How should i start. My patience is dropping. What should i do.
Lets make a boy first
Indeed hes going to be a poor and orphan.
Wait.
Its going to same cliche novel. I have to make something new. Something like Fang yuan.
First chapter of REVEREND INSANITY is goated Hes just standing hes hair floating and his clothes are in blood. He is smiling.
A cold smile. And then sac and boom
Explosion
....
Wait wait wait... This is going to be edgy. I have not any experience i have not any talent. How can i make a sacred novel like RI This is my first novel. I have to start with good mc.
.. My mood is swinging. I am feeling frustrated. How can anyone will going to read this garbage. I had not even make a world building. I had not even decide the name of the novel. Stupid so stupid. As i am staring on the screen. My patience paid off.
I turned off my laptop I stand up from my chair. And saw the time.
Its 1 am.
If my father found about that i am wasting my time in these things instead of studying. Than raj you just say goodbye to your writing passion.
I am just a average person.
Your average who got always average marks . Average look
Average talking skill.
Average money.
Well i am going to make it. But HOW.
...as i am thinking what to do How to write something great
. Suddenly my electricity gone.
Its rare. Well where i am living i had never seen electricity gone. Because i am living in a hostel. College hostel. And it is very expensive one. So when electricity goes out generator works.
Glad part about its. All of my study expenses is on loan. I am belonging from a middle class family.
But my father agreed for my private college as i convinced him that i will pay. I will pay everything believe in me last time. ...
I opened my room gate and went to the main hall while adjusting my torch light.
I can hear students are shouting. Well it is because human always find fun in everything
so many of students always wait when will the electricity goes and they will shout loudly. Its a fun thing. Really. its first time that electricity gone. So students are shouting too loudly. Make it more fun. Well i also join them. And also start shouting at high pitch.
Suddenly i stopped. Staring at the wall.
No no.
I am staring at the void.
In front of my eyes.
There was a blue screen.

 『Welcome to the gods heir』 

It was so unrealistic. I thought that this is my dream. I touched the screen with my limb. But the funny part is. My limb goes through it. Like it is a hologram.
My thoughts are spinning.
How can this happen. Its utterly impossible.
I had read so many webnovel i had already assumed so many scenarios like this. That there will be screen come from nowhere in front of you and you will say status and-
Wait status How can i forget this.
In my rough voice i said - "status" And i am believing that there will be a status screen will come.
And my life will take a 180. Degree turn But to my surprise there is no screen came.
1 sec...
2 sec...
Sudden a somber expression appeared on my face. A kid who always growed up while reading novel. A system is always his dream.
3 sec... 3.4 sec- And than
A voice heared in my mind.

 『 STATUS Name- Raj aggarwal Level- 1 Class- homo sapiens Sub class- None Stats/skills/shop/?¿? 』 

As i stared at the screen. My lips raised upwardly. This is what i want This is like my dream I always wanted a magical world.
A rpg type world where gods and demons are fighting. I will increase my level while fighting monsters. What..What is there any chance of my being alive in this scenario. This world is going to change. I have to change. I have to protect my family. Family...
**Shit.. shit..
My family lives 100 miles from here.. If this system is real and everyone can see it. Then soon chaos is going to erupting. What should i do now.. Take a bus or metro. No no .. Think think.. Well lets call them first..**
.
I opened my phone screen and saw the battery.
Shit..
8 percent. It can work for few minutes or one hour max I called on my moms number.
**Ring...
Ring...**
My heartbeat is increasing
*Ring... *
A women voice heared in my ear
-"Hlo, raj are you fine. What.. what is this screen. Everyone can see it. Everyone is panicking. You have to hurry.... come home as soon as possible".
I am glad that my mom answered my phone. While I staring at my screen i answered-"
don't worry mom.
There is nothing as panicking. Calm down. Just prepare some weapons like your knife, baseball. And locked the house. Do not open the door.
And tell my little brother that i am coming. Theres nothing to worry. Everything is fine."
I convinced my mom that there is nothing. But a gloomy senstation was felting in my body. I has to hurry.
As i glanced to the main hostel reception. A men with black beared.
Brown skin. Black eyes and in red shirt and black pant is standing there My warden was also in the state of shock. I went to him. Seeing me his eyes became focus. He called my name.
" RAJ CAN YOU SEE THE SCREEN ALSO"
He remembered my name indeed worthy of warden position I nodded. "Well its strange-he said to me while looking at the main gate. The gate was big and transparent Made of glass. I also see outside. Utter Darkness
Worrying if any type of dragon come here and just make this college campus in ashes. I glanced to other direction.
More and more students came from there room. Many were studying in their room. Many were gaming in their room. But i don't care because i don't have any friends. ..
But what i am doing here... When a sytem comes to the world You will granted with many powers. But what i have to do. As i thinking.
I stepped out on a ant.
Well its there problem being a short and came under my limb.
...The words on my screen crazily gone and swapped by a another words

 『 You are 137th one to killed a living being. 』 『 you got 5 true points』 

A crazy expression came on my face.
Here is the link of webnovel site - https://m.webnovel.com/book/peace-is-what-i-want_29563366708313205

Hey.
I hate to compare, but in comparison to Manor Lords this gaming community sucks at how-tos. I can search the simplest question and tons of answers show up.
Can we please get a how-to/guides section in the subreddit to help beginners like myself. Every time I google, “how to do [insert task] Reddit,” I barely find the answer. Even when I search here I don’t find answers. Steam forums are just as bad.
Would be nice to have a section where ppl can post questions asking how to do something and ppl answer.
How do I make nails?
How to make a sword?
What’s unlocked at each level of different skills?
What do I need to unlock and build to be able to get my villagers to hunt or fish for food?
How to assign villagers to specific jobs? And not just the priority level, as a villager is currently assigned to gather resources, but I don’t know how to switch it to someone else.
Simple questions guys.

I've created a "BS-Barometer" GPT. 🔍 💩 It tells you what percentage of a text consists of buzzwords, standard phrases and corporate hype-speak.
The ‘features’
▪️ Spits out a percentage of how much BS a text contains. ▪️ Adds an ever-changing category, from ‘Light Sprinkle of Nonsense’ to ‘Bernie Madoff Level’ to ‘George Santos would be proud!’ ▪️ Analyses sarcastically (but not maliciously) ▪️ Works particularly well with press releases, transcripts of talks at conferences and otherwise texts of any kind 😉
It's just for fun, it's free, here's the link, have fun! 🤗
https://bit.ly/bs-barometer

I've created a "BS-Barometer" GPT. 🔍 💩 It tells you what percentage of a text consists of buzzwords, standard phrases and corporate hype-speak.
The ‘features’
▪️ Spits out a percentage of how much BS a text contains. ▪️ Adds an ever-changing category, from ‘Light Sprinkle of Nonsense’ to ‘Bernie Madoff Level’ to ‘George Santos would be proud!’ ▪️ Analyses sarcastically (but not maliciously) ▪️ Works particularly well with press releases, transcripts of talks at conferences and otherwise texts of any kind 😉
It's just for fun, it's free, here's the link, have fun! 🤗
https://bit.ly/bs-barometer

Intro

It’s not much of a stretch to say that violence is the primary form of interaction in video games. With a handful of exceptions, most video games involve guys whacking other guys, with varying degrees of brutality. Even chill games fall into this - Stardew Valley has sections with combat in them! Considering the pervasiveness of violence in video games, there has been a ton of amateur and academic commentary on the topic. However, while this is a well-established school of thought, I haven’t seen people try to apply this to Fire Emblem specifically.
So, let’s do that now! In this post, I’ll be exploring how violence in Fire Emblem is implemented - what limitations are placed on violence, how it warps wider game and narrative design, and what it implicitly says and does not say. I hope this post doesn’t come off as too early-2010s “makes you think”-y, but I do think there are multiple interesting things worth talking about here!
Despite the length of this post, "a brief discussion" is an appropriate title, as we won't be able to go into depth on everything. After all, video games are holistic works, so the attitude towards violence is relevant to every aspect of their design. However, I have managed to wrangle some of these threads into the following structure: first a discussion on the fundamental mode of interaction in Fire Emblem, then how stories are constructed with regards to violence, and ending with the aesthetics of violence and how they relate to characters. Also, as FE is a huge series, be aware that I am gonna be making some broad statements which may not apply to each individual plot point of every game. I actually planned to write 3 case studies around Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses (which have the most interesting attitudes to violence in the series IMO) which point out these deviations, but this post is way too long and full of tangents already. If people are interested, I’ll make a followup to this post which goes into them in more detail. Also also, because of the nature of this post, I’ll actually give a useful TL;DR for once:
TL;DR: Nintendo games must be fun mechanically, and they can’t be too uncomfortable narratively. If you try to provide a counterpoint by saying “oh this Kirby final boss is super dark it eats 100 morbillion galaxies”, you do not deserve rights. IntSys has to keep to this as a 2nd party publisher, but they also have to deal with the fact that their games are at least nominally about ‘war’ (or at least they put their toes into that particular thematic pool). This conflict between making a fun video game for children/teens and the wider framing of the narrative leads to interesting narrative and aesthetic tensions. also fun is cringe, misery is based

“Do you like hurting other people?” (or The Fundamental Mode of Interaction)

OK LISTEN I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS A EARLY 2010s “VIOLENCE IN VIDYA BAD :O????” PERSON BUT I SWEAR I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
The best place to start when talking about violence in video games is to think about the primary form of interaction in said game. In the case of Fire Emblem, this is in the in-chapter gameplay. Sure, in objective terms the player moves arbitrary objects across a 2D grid which perform subtraction on arbitrary objects controlled by the computer, but this is always framed as controlling a squad of soldiers to engage in (typically lethal) combat with enemies (who are normally also soldiers). When you’re not doing this in-chapter gameplay, you are preparing for the next chapter of combat. This involves surveying the area of combat, preparing weapon loadouts, etc, however more recent entries also include light life-sim-esque elements. To summarize, Fire Emblem’s interactivity involves ordering violence as well as the preparations to order said violence.
For players, this strategic thinking is extremely fun and is the primary draw of the series! You have all these tier lists of who’s better at killing, discussion of the maps where you do the killing, complaints about the length of gameplay sections where you don’t do killing, etc. This is by design, as while I don’t know the core brand tenets of Nintendo, I imagine the Reggie quote “If it isn’t fun, why bother?” is carved into a solid gold statue of Mario in the office lobby. This then is enforced on all associated studios, including IntSys and so Fire Emblem. While I would disagree with that Reggie quote (especially the bit where he says “If it’s not a battle, where’s the fun?” which is a wild statement to make about an entire medium), this approach to making games is ultimately fine, and so IntSys tailored the strategic gameplay to be satisfying to your dopamine receptors. You could analyse what the normalisation of violence even in ‘just for fun’ games says about wider gaming culture, but I won’t get into that here. In any case, let’s dig into a few specifics of FE’s interactivity.
One thing that’s interesting with regard to strategy games is the detached perspective of the player. You order units and observe the resulting violence, but it’s not tactile, you don’t directly swing the sword or shoot the bow or cast the spell like with action games. This adds a layer of separation between the player and what fundamentally happens, at least within the framing that the game provides. It’s not like Call of Duty, where your relationship to the violence is very visceral, where you view everything down the barrel of a gun. OK, I probably shouldn’t use a series that I have very little personal experience with (I only listen to the supplementary lore material, so let’s talk about Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. While you’re not directly in the driver’s seat, John Sekiro reacts to your every input with extreme responsiveness, so overcoming the game’s challenges i.e. stabbing people is incredibly visceral and satisfying. While this violence is fantastical in nature, there is sufficient blood and explicit sword-action to clearly say “oh yeah you are violently killing all of those bozos with a katana”. Coming back to FE, not only are you far more detached from the violence, it is presented in an extremely cartoony manner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’ll get to the aesthetics later. Point is, Fire Emblem gives the viewpoint of a stoic commander, who Does What Needs To Be Done™, and not the viewpoint of an actual soldier who has to do the actual killing.
Now let’s view the player’s perspective on violence from a different angle. Fire Emblem intends for its combat to be relatively relaxed on the player side of things - the turn-based nature allows the player to calmly think through all of their moves, and you typically have perfect information on the enemies. The only exceptions to this are Fog of WaSame Turn Reinforcements, which are rare and typically unpopular amongst the fanbase. This leans into ‘combat as sport’, where (going back to the Reggie quote) you have a fun time picking apart a puzzle with the tools you have, and we all collectively enjoy this! This is a valid way of designing strategy games, and I like what IntSys has done. However, it’s not the only way of making these games - for example, in Total War you have to juggle all your battalions in real time whilst the enemy is bearing down on you, and the XCOM games always have Fog of War and limited information on the enemies, with you never knowing what kind of awful new monster is going to suddenly charge at you. Don’t get me wrong, neither of these follow ‘combat as war’, the principle that violence should properly mimic the stress, tension and unfairness of actual conflict. Hell, neither of them are particularly mature either - Total War is the strategy game equivalent of smashing action figures together, and XCOM emulates a pulp sci-fi alien invasion story. However, the additional pressures these games have make them hew slightly closer to actual conflict, putting you more in that mindset in a way that the clean fun Fire Emblem doesn’t really do. Again, I want to say FE’s approach to violence in in-map gameplay is fine, but when all three of these franchises have an explicit narrative framing of ‘warfare’, it does make Fire Emblem’s narrative a little more… stretched.
Finally, I want to briefly mention the maps. To steal from a brilliant Jacob Geller video, these are Worlds Designed For Violence. At least outside of the Kaga games, the maps you fight on are primarily designed around how the player interacts with them, i.e. fights on them. While I imagine the narrative designers and artists at IntSys are involved throughout the map design process, the gameplay flow probably takes precedence most of the time. Maps are not designed to resemble realistic places that you have to fight through, they are instead designed primarily to provide fun gameplay experiences before being dressed up by the artists to look realistic/fit the specific story beat. This is a more consistently entertaining approach to map design - heaven knows we have a lot of Kaga castle assault maps which are as fun as actually assaulting an entrenched position IRL - but this lack of friction could potentially take the bite out of the intended vibe, neuter any commentary on violence throughout the story.
You may have noticed that we’ve only talked about the “in-map” gameplay for now, when there’s an entire second half of these games, i.e. all the gameplay between the maps. Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that, but this may fit better in:

Something something “ludonarrative” something something (or Narrative Implications)

(To clarify, here I’m going to talk about the wider plots and narrative structure as opposed to characterisation, as that fits more into the aesthetics of the series)
It’s not bold to say that the narratives of games have to warp around the core gameplay structure. Especially in AAA video game production, the narrative designers usually have to take a back seat to the systems and level designers, at least outside of the initial rough outline they provide in the original game pitch. In this case, the job of the writer is to form vaguely coherent connective tissue between individual levels, setpieces and expensive pre-rendered cutscenes. This must be a very difficult job, and is probably the reason why most video game stories are the way they are. I am not privy to IntSys internal meetings, but I imagine they abide by this paradigm, trying to give a reason for why you fight 20 battles which roughly align with plot beats that were decided years ago.
Put another way, the writers of Fire Emblem must contrive a reason why the characters fight a vast number of violent battles in a strategic manner. This has a pretty easy solution - war! We have found something it’s good for, as whenever the gameplay designers decide that an extra map is required, the writers can just insert “oh no there’s a blockade of enemy soldiers in the way, guess you gotta kill them all”. This is the case for almost all the games and is a fair enough narrative choice, as it’s frankly one of the few scenarios where you could reasonably contrive so many battles, but it’s worth examining this in a bit more detail.
Even in the framing of warfare, there are still a lot of skirmishes, which sometimes the narrative or tone fails to support - or at least, their presence means that violence isn’t taken that seriously. Let’s take an example from early in Awakening: Emmeryn sends the Shepherds to negotiate an alliance with Regna Ferox. On the way, they are ambushed by Risen on the Northroad (1), have to fight the border guards who think Chrom is a bandit I think??? (2), and then after arriving they need to take part in Regna Ferox’s ritual combat to secure their alliance (3). These beats aren’t necessarily bad, and I actually think Awakening uses these opportunities quite well: the Risen are established as a constant threat to the world (except not really in the main story but that’s a whole other thing), “Marth'' gets more development, we set up Regna Ferox as fighty people who like to fight, and while the middle encounter is very tenuous it does set up a funny joke in Cynthia’s paralogue. However, I want to communicate that if the map/encounter designers need X maps between plot points A and B - in this case, needing low-stakes trials in the tutorial period - then there’s gonna be a fair bit of narrative filler. That is to say, there must be multiple combat encounters that kinda just happen, which makes violence a lot more casual in the narrative. See also the myriad examples of “oh shit random bandits attack!”, used to have a lower stakes map, with bandits appearing and vanishing as needed. This works fine enough in the context of ‘combat as sport’, allowing your favourite scrunglo to build up a triple-digit body count, but this casual attitude circumvents potentially interesting ideas with regards violence. Taking the example further, banditry and its causes are never seriously explored, as bandits are just treated as a filler enemy (except in Based As Hell Thracia 776).
Another narrative consequence of needing so many fights is that… you need to fight. That is to say, any anti-war sentiment or appeal to diplomacy in the series is fundamentally undercut by a) strategic combat being a core appeal of the series and b) narrative beats needing to be structured around fighting enemies. It’s a struggle to have moments of diplomacy and reconciliation when you had a fight within 3 minutes of said moment, lest some people start screaming that things are getting boring. This also makes any appeals to pacifism kinda moot. Xander’s quote about “war bad” in Conquest is utter bullshit, as a huge part of the marketing around that route focuses on the coolness of the tactical combat and its challenge. Eirika and Ephraim can never be equal, because Ephraim’s “fighting is fucken awesome” is encouraged by the gameplay, and Eirika can NEVER save 11037 because we need a final boss and no-one else fits the bill.
Speaking of, in video games it’s best practice to have a big bad guy you fight at the end of the story, the toughest mechanical challenge coinciding with the narrative climax. In Fire Emblem, you have one grand final battle which decides the fate of the war and/or world, before cutting to a brief wrap-up and then credits. This is an attempt to make these games satisfying, which is fine, but this is at odds with an anti-war message (which FE often gestures towards) - that is, actual wars tend to be deeply unsatisfying in a narrative sense! Oftentimes, after a decisive battle, things just kinda keep going for a little while afterwards with casualties continuing to pile up until peace terms are agreed. In the few cases where there is a final battle, it’s more of a formality as the decisive moment occurred months ago. See World War 1 and… World War 2 for examples of each, not to mention a whole host of war-related books and films. The problem with doing this in a video game is that it would require having multiple one-sided fights past the most climatic fight, which would be unfun, and we return to that fucking Reggie quote again. While video games can effectively explore this anti-war narrative space - This War of Mine is a fantastic example - it just doesn’t gel with the fun games that IntSys wants to make. I bring this up in the context of FE because Fire Emblem has such an aesthetic focus on warfare compared to other video games, so it sticks out even further. Even in FE6/FE9 where the war is effectively over in the final few maps, the enemies still remain extremely challenging, because if they didn’t things would be boring.
A few minor things that didn’t fit in above before we wrap up this section. First of all, in making an action packed story, Fire Emblem neglects an important aspect of army life in warfare - the “hurrying up and waiting”. In the majority of cases, the breaks between fights is under 10 minutes, it’s just glossed over. Fire Emblem Three Houses is the exception to this, but there it’s more framed as school life. Some people may say “what’s the point in having large amounts of timewasting where nothing happens in my game about war” and to that I would say fuck you, I want to play Jarhead Emblem. Next, Fire Emblem involves fighting people AND monsters, but these targets are typically given equal narrative weight, outside of maybe a funny line of dialogue about someone being afraid of monsters. In 99% of cases, enemy soldiers you fight have no more humanity than literal monsters. The death of any of your beloved soldiers is a tragedy with big sad death quotes, the death of those poor fuckers is quite literally a statistic which is proudly used to rank how well your guys have done at the end of the game. Finally, the limited scope of the violence the series can show limits the potential impact of scenes. In some cases, this is good as the implication is enough, e.g. the ‘Monica’ scene in Sacred Stones is wonderfully grim and would be weakened by anything explicit. However, a number of other scenes are neutered by the limitations on violence. This fundamentally relates to the aesthetics of the series:

insert prozd tweet/skit here (or Aesthetics, Tone, and Characters)

I’ve been talking a lot about ‘the violence committed’, and this might have seemed a bit weird to you. It’s a true statement, but because the violence is mostly cartoony and abstracted - bad guys disappear into nothingness, there’s no blood, etc - it’s hard to think of it in that way. It’s basically impossible to place Fire Emblem in the same artistic sphere as, say, All Quiet on the Western Front. This aesthetic sense was partially tech-limited in the early NES and SNES games, which was grandfathered into the more graphically complex titles, but it’s also related to how the aesthetics unavoidably warp the tone of the work. IntSys needs their games to be relatively lighthearted and unconcerned with the consequences of its violence, as one of the core appeals of these games is the charming cast of characters. As you would expect, it would be a lot harder to appreciate your goofy blorbos and their lighthearted chats about nothing if you could see the brutal consequences of their triple digit body counts. If violence was more realistic, there would be a lot less “ooh I like training and/or this one hyperspecific food” or “I like peace, but I guess violence may be possibly needed sometimes” and there would have to be a lot more trauma and dourness. There are also age rating concerns, as you can’t exactly sell Come And See Emblem to pre-teens. And once more, to clarify: Fire Emblem as it exists now is fine! I like the lighthearted tone of this series, and I like the characters that reside within it. However, a few problems do arise from IntSys’s approach to violence, as occasionally they brush up against darker ideas but (due to similar reasons to the above) they can never commit to them, which neuters their potential impact. This is especially troublesome with regards to characterisation, as the little dudes are a core appeal, so if something is off that could cause problems. In a sense, at points we have severe aesthetic tension.
A fairly useful case study to see how this affects characterisation is with Mozu in Fire Emblem Fates. Mozu is a charming character, a genial country bumpkin with a bit of an edge at times, who has fond memories of her hometown. This lines up with the lighthearted tone of her recruitment paralogue, where (checks notes) her entire village gets massacred by inhuman monsters, with her mother literally being murdered right in front of her, and she joins up with Corrin’s party because there is literally nothing left of her old life. I understand that people who experience extreme trauma do still manage to live meaningful lives, and that IntSys wouldn’t want to have a character who is a barely functional traumatised mess for 90% of the campaign. However, this doesn’t explain the sheer dissonance between the relatively normal and well-adjusted Mozu who quietly remembers her lost loved ones, and the fact that her village got My Lai’d a handful of weeks ago in the game’s timeline. IMO this would work a lot better if there were a few survivors (instead of literally everyone else dying), with Mozu actively choosing to leave her old life to help others instead of being forced to leave by circumstance. This reduction in scope would mitigate the dissonance between the character and what actually happens to her. This is by far the most extreme example in the series, however I’m sure you can think of others. My issue here is not with having ‘normal’ characters, or with them suffering tragedies, my issue is the dissonance between the two when viewing the scope of said tragedies. This is just one way the series wants to get into darker territory, then swiftly backing off instead of delving into the consequences.
This aesthetic restriction also affects the potential impact of dramatic scenes in the main story, limiting what the focus of these scenes can actually be. This little bit will involve heavy spoilers for Genealogy of the Holy War and Spec Ops: The Line (I KNOW THESE GAMES ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH VERY DIFFERENT INTENDED DEMOGRAPHICS IN VERY DIFFERENT CULTURAL CONTEXTS, SHUT UP). Both have a very important narrative moment around their midpoints, involving fire magic/white phosphorus respectively. In each game, the deaths that occur are utterly horrific when you think about them. In FE4 the focus is on the drama of the plot twist and effects on the characters, with the actual effects of the violence being left to implication. We don’t know if this was the original intent of Kaga and the team, or if this was enforced by various tech- and publisher-related restrictions, but in either case we do not see anything explicit. In any case, in Spec Ops: The Line, the horror and graphic nature of the violence is completely inescapable, and therefore forms the core of the turning point of the story. The specifics of the violence itself are crucial - the game does not work if you don’t see the consequences of the white phosphorus - and it leads beautifully to the complete descent of its endgame. You may be saying “of course you couldn’t show that violence in FE, it’s a kids game” which is true, and in any case the scene in Genealogy is very good, even without showing the violence. I imagine if we get a remake in the year 202X we wouldn’t see anything explicit anyway, partially due to the publisher but also because the scene doesn’t necessarily need it. The point I am trying to make is that the aesthetics form a limitation on what Fire Emblem can explore, narrative space that the series fundamentally cannot reach.
One more thing, and this isn’t really about the games themselves but the impressions leading into them, and how the aesthetics can affect that. Do you guys remember when the intro cutscene of Three Houses was released a few weeks before release? I do, and I also remember the collective shock of the community when seeing the early previews. It was so drastically different to everything that had come before, and consequently was really intriguing - you can see a lot of speculation in the above comments. To clarify, I don’t want to pretend that 3H is some kind of super mature ultra gritty war story, or that blood = good game, but that beginning cutscene gave one hell of a first impression. Even though the game isn’t that much darker than any other FE game, the sheer unexpectedness put people off-kilter in a kinda awesome way. Does the game actually deliver? YMMV, but I think this (and some of the later cutscenes, such as the mid-game Dimitri one) work quite well. Sometimes, a little injection of harsher violence can go a long way.

Conclusion

Frankly I don’t really have a conclusion, sorry. As you can see, there are so many disparate strands, I can’t possibly make one grand thesis statement. Maybe the inherent contradictions of having warfare in a family friendly video game weakens the potential end result? I guess, but I don’t want to imply that what we have now is bad, as it is pretty good tbh. So, uhh…
…
OK, if I had to say something, it’s more about the process of making this. Having to try and think about how violence intersects with a video game you like takes you in a number of different directions. Ultimately, this process was really fulfilling for me, and I would recommend that you do the same (for FE or anything else)! Trying to analyse something you enjoy from a perspective not usually applied is pretty neat. If you guys have any thoughts (on the points above or your own), I’d be very interested to hear them!
Also, if people are interested, I’ll try to make a few case studies. I would focus on Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses, as (when thinking on this topic) I found that these games were consistently the most intriguing, with the most interesting relationships to violence. This would probably take a while though, as I am gonna be very busy in June, and I probably won’t have time this month either.