This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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I’d recently posted after taking pictures of my hair part and back of head a few days ago. Was shocked and dismayed to say the least. Managed to move my existing derm appointment to this morning at a different location. She diagnosed me with what I had suspected I had but hoped I didn’t. Androgenetic alopecia.
She prescribed minoxidil. She said I can start with the 5% topical if I like, but suggested going with oral 2.5% and wrote me a script for that. On the drive home, I felt so incredibly angry. Since October, my life has been falling apart.
It started with me losing my job. I went on unemployment and got a grant to take classes in a different field, which I’ve been doing. Barely scrimping by on what I’m getting on unemployment but at least felt it was temporary and could see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Then, at the end of January, I visited an orthopedic surgeon for what I thought was a pulled groin muscle that wasn’t healing. He ordered an MRI and my world got turned upside down. I have a tumor on my hip bone that is malignant and suspected to be a rare form of cartilage cancer. Awaiting surgery with implant late spring, with a hefty recovery period. Possible radiation to the area will follow, depending on pathology results. I’ll also have to get scans every few months for the next 10 years to make sure it hasn’t spread anywhere else.
Now, I’m fu@ This is just too much. I feel so bitter, like a miserable old crap bag.

• We started with the two federal lawsuits filed last Thursday, seeking to block Iowa from enforcing Senate File 2340, the immigration law that creates a new state crime of “illegal reentry.” You can read the federal government’s lawsuit here and the case filed on behalf of Iowa Migrant Movement for Justice and two individuals here. I have a post in progress at Bleeding Heartland on why the state will struggle to show this law is constitutional;
• One key issue in both lawsuits: Iowa’s law makes no allowance for the reality that the federal government may grant permission for someone to be in this country, even if they were removed or deported in the past;
• Responding to the lawsuit, Governor Kim Reynolds cited her “responsibility to protect the citizens of Iowa. Since President Biden refuses to enforce our nation’s immigrationlaws – threatening the safety of our citizens – Iowa will step in.” Similarly, Attorney General Bird said, “Iowa stands ready to defend our immigration law that keeps Iowa communities safe”;
• I previewed one of the key legal arguments for the state, which Republican legislators put forward during the House and Senate debates. The concept is that the U.S. Constitution allows states to defend themselves against an “invasion,” and GOP politicians claim undocumented immigration amounts to an invasion of this country;
• Contrary to the idea that SF 2340 will keep Iowans safe, Marshalltown Police chief Michael Tupper submitted a declaration for one lawsuit explaining why “it undermines public safety” when the immigrant community believes local police will engage in immigration enforcement;
• Many of the arguments in these cases overlap, and U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Locher has consolidated a hearing on the motions for a preliminary injunction, which is set for June 10;
• Iowa became a plaintiff in yet another lawsuit against the Biden administration last week. This case, involving six GOP-led states that are part of the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals, challenges the U.S. Department of Education’s latest rule related to Title IX protections for LGBTQ students. Republicans dispute that Title IX’s prohibition of sex discrimination should encompass discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity;
• Bird was spotted on Monday morning outside the criminal court where Donald Trump’s trial continues in Manhattan. The Attorney General’s office hasn’t answered any of my questions about the trip, but a spokesperson told the Des Moines Register’s Brianne Pfannenstiel “no taxpayer money had been used to fund her travel.” Bird spoke briefly to reporters outside the courthouse to call the case a “travesty” designed to keep Trump off the campaign trail;
• George wondered if state political leaders traveling across the country was going to be the “new normal.” I won’t be surprised to see Bird appearing with Trump in other venues this year. She’s been the former president’s top Iowa surrogate since Governor Reynolds endorsed and actively campaigned for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis;
• Moving to legislative news, the governor continues to sign more laws the legislature approved last month. Last week, she signed Senate File 2251, one of the bills she proposed, extending postpartum Medicaid coverage for thousands of Iowa women while excluding thousands of women from pregnancy or postpartum coverage;
• I’ve been wanting to talk about House File 626 for a while, but I don’t think Dennis and I ever got to it during the legislative session. Starting next year, this law will prohibit insurance companies from forcing a change to someone’s prescription medications in the middle of a coverage year, if the patient is stable on the drug and a health care provider continues to prescribe it. I enjoy stories like this, which have a major lobbying component. You might think this bill is not controversial, because it passed both chambers nearly unanimously. But advocates had to work for at least seven years to get it to the Iowa Senate floor, due to strong opposition from the insurance lobby;
• Here’s an update on a bill that particularly affects mothers. Natalie Krebs reported for Iowa Public Radio last week on contracts signed with four groups that will provide services under the “More Options for Maternal Support” (MOMS) program, which funnels taxpayer dollars to crisis pregnancy centers. Senate File 2252, which the governor signed in April, allows the Iowa Department of Health and Human Services to administer this program directly;
• Reynolds signed the remaining appropriations bills last week, which set spending levels for the fiscal year beginning on July 1. On this program I wanted to highlight a couple of big picture points: Reynolds did not use her item veto power at all, which illustrates how Republicans closely coordinate budgeting with the governor’s office these days. They don’t put anything important in appropriations bills without her approval;
• Second, the $8.9 billion state budget for fiscal year 2025 will spend only about 80 percent of projected state revenues. By law, legislators are allowed to allocate up to 99 percent of projected revenue, but Republicans are building huge surpluses into the budget in order to cover future tax cuts;
• The June 4 primary fast approaches, and I wanted to flag the early voting deadlines for listeners. You can vote early in person starting May 15, and county auditors will start mailing out absentee ballots on the same day. Whether you vote early or on the primary election day, remember to bring some form of voter ID with you. If you need to change your address or register for the first time, bring proof of address as well as a valid ID;
• Moving back to state government news, Bird held a press conference on Friday to announce she was creating a new task force on antisemitism. Oddly, her office still hasn’t released a full list of task force members. I was able to confirm over the weekend that none of the three current state legislators who are Jewish were invited to participate;
• On the environmental front, there was good news and bad news connected to the heavy rain Iowa has seen in recent weeks. Jared Strong reported for Iowa Capital Dispatch that “For the first time in nearly two years, no part of Iowa has extreme drought”;
• Now for the bad news: the rain has flushed a lot of nitrate off fields and into Iowa waterways. Strong reported on this problem for Iowa Capital Dispatch as well;
• Excessive levels of nitrate in water has been associated with blue baby syndrome and certain cancers; I recently republished some in-depth reporting by Keith Schneider on the possible link between farm chemicals and high cancer rates in Palo Alto County;
• A quick bit of Congressional news: all four Iowans in the U.S. House helped save House Speaker Mike Johnson’s job last week;
• We didn’t have time to dig in to the details, but researchers from Princeton University have demonstrated that Iowa’s “Education Savings Accounts” (school voucher) program led to tuition increases at many private schools. Stay tuned, because I will have more to say about these findings on the May 20 program.

There's one thing I've felt and realised that no matter how many friends we surround ourselves with in real life, there are moments when loneliness can still creep in and take hold. That's when this wonderful world of internet comes in handy, and I guess it's finally the time for me to give this a try.
I'm a 22 year old Indian guy who is currently pursuing his masters degree in Italy. And being in an entirely different country on my own sometimes takes me to that loneliness territory. I'm a 6'1" tall guy (if that matters to you) and I crave those funny & deep conversation that are something more than just being shallow. You know the conversation, where every text makes you more elevated, and you can't help but just cherish that wonderful moment. The conversation flows naturally, and you keep on talking to each other irrespective of the time that has passed.
Love is one of the most exquisite things in this world, and it can hold different meanings for different people. But love for me, is all about care and affection that you show to your partner, that rock-solid assurance that no matter what, you've always got their back. It's when you eagerly anticipate their texts and feel like the luckiest person once it pops on your screen, when their presence, whether online or in person, gives you the reason to start your day with a huge smile. And I've seen my own shares of ups and down in my love life, but that doesn't make me lose any hope, and hopefully I'll soon find my ONE.
A little more about me: I mostly spend my free time analyzing or studying the movies, shows or music. I appreciate this world of entertainment a lot because they are like my escape from this reality. So, if you're the same, then we can nerd over our favorite movies & music. I also like to write about stuff sometimes, mostly about entertainment or some story/thought that popped into my mind.
But recently, I have been reading a lot of true crime stories. So, if you have some recommendations or insights into this genre, then you better hit me up, I'm always open to know more about this.
What am I looking for: I'm looking for a like-minded lady who is around my age (20-24 years old) and shares my passion for meaningful conversations. I'm interested in getting to know someone who enjoys talking about their day, what have they been up to, their dreams, their ambition, basically everything they feel comfortable sharing. If you're looking for a partner who is genuine, respectful, and eager to build a meaningful connection, then let's start talking! We can begin with a conversation on Reddit and if we both feel comfortable enough, let's move to some other platform and see where this takes us.
What can you expect from me: You can expect a genuine and understanding guy who is truly interested in getting to know you. You can also expect a funny and deep conversation, I'm a good listener and enjoy hearing different perspectives, so feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with me.
I can be a bit flirty sometimes if I feel like we have a genuine connection, so I hope you wouldn't mind that. I believe that a little bit of banter and humor can go a long way in building a connection, so don't be surprised if I try to make you laugh or catch your attention with a cheesy joke or two. However, I also respect boundaries and will never push beyond what makes you feel comfortable.
I'm a private person, so I'm NOT much inclined towards sharing pictures right away. I like to make sure that we both have trust and confidence in each other, and once we have established that, then we can definitely exchange photos and more.
Oh damn, I've just realized that this has become a very long post, so if you've read this in its entirety, give yourself a pat on the back. Out of so many things you could have read in this time, you chose to read my paragraph, and I already appreciate you for that. So, if any of these loong lines makes sense to you, please message me, and let's have some great conversation. I'll be waiting, and I hope you have a wonderful day. You deserve that.

He is, generationally, a Boomer. He’s had Boomer tendencies, but he retired last year, and the tendencies are becoming full-blown. It’s hard to watch.
He worked for the same company for 45+ years. Weekends, overtime. His life was eat, sleep, work, church. That is about it. Finally retired due to medical reasons. Has always been conservative leaning, gun-toting, religious, and is a Trump supporter. I’m more liberal-leaning, but pretty moderate. We have differing opinions on politics, social responsibility, religion, etc. I live across the country from my parents and we avoid the touchy subjects, so have been able to get along pretty well.
Covid happened (before he retired, but this was the start of it), and he became a staunch anti (Covid) vaxxer - all other vaccinations are ok, though. I can almost get it - it was developed quickly, experimental status. Blah blah. I’m a scientist, I was good with them, know how mRNA works, etc. Didn’t matter what I told him. But whatever. To each their own. His decision. Just don’t tell me what I should do. After COVID vaccines were made widely available to everyone, he sent me a 60 minute video from BitChute of some crazy “doctors” talking about how dangerous the COVID vaccines are. Tried to convince me to not get them. Got mad when I poked holes in the video, source of info, etc. He sent me some off his rocker comments about the China-virus, Chinese killing female babies, and something about Bill Gates being behind it. It was literally a 6 line text message paragraph, and there was so much to unpack. We bickered, and then dropped it. He once said to me “I don’t understand your leftist liberal leanings - we didn’t raise you that way”. Like, wut? Ffs, I have a good career, healthy marriage, am a productive member of society. I am not an addict or in jail. There are worse things than being a little left leaning, me thinks.
Anyway, now that he has been retired, he does not know what to do with himself. He is on his phone CONSTANTLY. God knows what tin-foil hat wearing, extremist bs he is reading and buying into. He and my mom recently came to visit. While they were here, my mom came to me and was like “your dad is on the phone getting scammed and he won’t listen to me”. He’s on speaker, and I’m listening in. He has his credit card out. He’s talking about a password, security code, etc. I tell him to hang up. He does, and goes on to say why he thinks it’s legitimate. I tell him to call the company office he works with locally for his account and to ask them about it. Sure enough, it’s a scam. He then tries to save face and say he was planning to call and check. Bullshit. He said in the moment he thought it was legit! There were so many red flags. He won’t go to the “how to detect a scam” seminar at the senior center because he doesn’t think he needs it.
He and my mom go home, and next thing I know, he’s texting me asking how many COVID vaccines my toddler has had and that he is concerned for her and us because he has been reading “studies” that link cancer with the third COVID shot. I lose it. Ask him where he is getting his info and to send me the studies. He doesn’t. He drops the issue, but not before my husband saw steam coming out of my ears. He is also one of those who pushed “college college college” on me and my sister. God knows what crazy shit he is reading online, but now he has also bought into the “educational system indoctrinating leftist ideals” stuff, probably because his kids have a different worldview than he does. Like, dude. You pushed it on us. Now you are mad we have a different perspective?
There’s more. But here we are. deep breath

I don’t know why it’s not showing my posts. I’ve tried to make three posts to inform people. Not to use Tree stuff if you are in a pinch. Yes they have exclusive gear, but they like to manipulate and say ships same to next day. And it does not they also like to use plural words. Like weights. And show you a picture of 4 weights and tell you they are on sale so you think you will be getting four weights but when you get it, you will get one and the free gift is nonsense. The best thing they can give people is the headbands to keep the sweat and dust out of our hair. . One time I ordered a spider jack three . And waited for over six months for it. No lie. I called. I got told they weren’t in stock. Until I finally called back and acted like a different person from a different number and the guy said yes we have one right here I said good you can give me the one I’ve been waiting for over a half of year for. They got so embarrassed that they sent me a free zigzag with my spider jack. you get a hold of the right person. Their customer service can be on point at times and they do try to make up for what they do but they did not this time. They left me screwed finally sent my rope.that I had to complain about to get. Because that’s what I needed and I got nothing I ordered a brand new beehive proto helmet . A circular Weaver triple tier throw line bag. A brand new throw line 150 foot rope. And what I thought to be for throw weights. And throw line . And carabiners. They never sent a receipt. I have never gotten my carabiners. They took the money from my account and I finally got my rope weeks later . to say they do have good products but Good Luck if they are in stock if you got time to wait, I would say go ahead and play with them if not, go to someone else like Bartlett or arbor Pro

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.

Hi. Im creating a c# program which creates a video of a song and posts it on tiktok. Right now my program uses spleeter to split the song into stems and then uses a script of GitHub to create waveform images of the stems
I want my end video to look like this: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7CDmUt/ - only one song will play per video https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7Xdw8b/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7CcGtE/ - no webcam or that hitting animations
basically I want the stems of the songs to be placed on top of a FL studio timeline, synced to the song, then I want to overlay a image intop of the video. and then to contribute for todays gen's 3 second attention span, add some audio virtualisations ontop of the fl studio recording (the music making app in the video) and a little shake to the image
I've tinkered with ffmpeg before, and I reckon it could do the trick here. I'd use the waveform pictures and mix them with a pre-recorded FL Studio video using ffmpeg's filters, like VStack to stack images, Scroll to slide them around and Blend. And then tweak the overlay filter for that shake effect. Plus, I found out ffmpeg can whip up some basic audio visualizations, which is neat. (https://gist.github.com/Neurogami/aeed8693f7ac375d5e013b8432d04d3f)
But my main issue with this approach is, how the waveform images will look weird/out of place ontop of the fl studio video, because FL studio has a really spesific "theme". I could manually create a template and then use some other library to merge the template image and the waveform image. But, it feels a bit janky and would probably be a hassle to set up and implement.
So, I'm curious if you folks have any ideas, nifty libraries or GitHub gems to help me nail this video?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Hi. Im creating a c# program which creates a video of a song and posts it on tiktok. Right now my program uses spleeter to split the song into stems and then uses a script of GitHub to create waveform images of the stems
I want my end video to look like this: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7CDmUt/ - only one song will play per video https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7Xdw8b/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMM7CcGtE/ - no webcam or that hitting animations
basically I want the stems of the songs to be placed on top of a FL studio timeline, synced to the song, then I want to overlay a image intop of the video. and then to contribute for todays gen's 3 second attention span, add some audio virtualisations ontop of the fl studio recording (the music making app in the video) and a little shake to the image
I've tinkered with ffmpeg before, and I reckon it could do the trick here. I'd use the waveform pictures and mix them with a pre-recorded FL Studio video using ffmpeg's filters, like VStack to stack images, Scroll to slide them around and Blend. And then tweak the overlay filter for that shake effect. Plus, I found out ffmpeg can whip up some basic audio visualizations, which is neat. (https://gist.github.com/Neurogami/aeed8693f7ac375d5e013b8432d04d3f)
But my main issue with this approach is, how the waveform images will look weird/out of place ontop of the fl studio video, because FL studio has a really spesific "theme". I could manually create a template and then use some other library to merge the template image and the waveform image. But, it feels a bit janky and would probably be a hassle to set up and implement.
So, I'm curious if you folks have any nifty libraries, GitHub gems, or ideas to help me nail this video?

we met on tinder late last year; we’re both genderfluid and we’ve sort of talked about gender stuff kinda randomly as we’ve been dating for the past 7 months. they’ve always told me they get a lot of dysphoria doing anything feminine/putting in the effort to look feminine because they feel like they’re “faking it,” that everyone can see through the ‘facade’ and everyone is just being nice to them when given compliments or anything. when i met them, they used to paint their nails, wear skirts sometimes, wear jewellery, and makeup. but since we’ve started dating, they said they’ve just found it easier to be “a guy” and to lean into that look but just keep using they/them pronouns. it hurts me so badly seeing the look on their face whenever they see old pictures of themself, they tell me they look ugly and just like a man and there’s no helping looking like that without tremendous amounts of effort that they aren’t willing to go through. i want them to know that they’re beautiful no matter what they do or how they present, but i know how painful dysphoria feels, and how difficult truly seeing others how they see you can be. i just hate seeing them so sad about themself and i wanted to know if there was anything helpful people on this subs’ partners have said? :(

For as far back as I can remember, my parents love for me was contingent around how well I did in sports. I remember the fear of playing subpar in a game, only to get screamed at by my parents and then given the silent treatment for days (I was 8). The older I got, the more skilled I became in sports, the more intense the pressure became. I did love sports, but it was my identity. I’d always be signed up for clubs, I’d spend hours a day post school practicing, etc. Weekends would be spent playing game after game, traveling around the state.
I remember our house was adorned with photos of me everywhere playing sports. My mom would love to wear my high school jersey and letter jacket places. The refrigerator was lined with newspaper clippings of my sports games. My dad (who played himself growing up) was no doubt living vicariously through me.
I remember in high school my girlfriend walked into my bedroom and laughed that my room was made out to be a shrine. Posters of me playing sports everywhere, flags with my last name and sports awards, trophies lining every corner, etc. I could care less about any of that, but my mom insisted on decorating my room in that fashion.
After a lifetime of sports, I was recruited to college to play as well. I was injured freshman year and my sports career ended. Honestly I welcomed the end of the pressure. However, that’s when the abuse began with my parents and sibling. It only spiraled for decades until I went no contact a couple years ago.
Nothing I ever did after my sports “career” (graduating with my masters degree, getting a high profile job, getting married, having kids, etc) ever warranted pride from them. If it wasn’t sports related, they didn’t care- and the abuse continued.
My wife and I were recently deep cleaning when we came upon a large tote my mom had given me years ago. She said she was cleaning and packed up all my childhood memories for me to keep. I decided to go through them. The tote is packed full of 1,000s of newspaper clippings of me playing sports, videos of me playing, my old jerseys, trophies, plaques, etc. There are a couple of my yearbooks, and then a box labeled childhood photos of which ALL are sports. Of hundreds, maybe 5 are as a baby and unrelated to sports. Then a box labeled “papers”. Every paper is about sports- college recruiters, awards, etc. That’s it, that’s all my memories.
No growth charts, vaccine charts, doctor visits, childhood pictures unrelated to sports. No baby clothes, drawings, school report cards, school plays, etc.
Only sports. I must admit they kept a lot. And the records of my sports are all meticulously laminated, etc. To a stranger (or to those who try and convince me I’m the issue because my parents “did so much for me always taking me to sports” and I should forgive them) would think they were amazing parents by the looks of the tote. Yet to me it’s so clear, all I was a trophy for them to get recognition for and as soon as I no longer played I lost my value.
Curious if anyone else can relate to this?

For as far back as I can remember, my parents love for me was contingent around how well I did in sports. I remember the fear of playing subpar in a game, only to get screamed at by my parents and then given the silent treatment for days (I was 8). The older I got, the more skilled I became in sports, the more intense the pressure became. I did love sports, but it was my identity. I’d always be signed up for clubs, I’d spend hours a day post school practicing, etc. Weekends would be spent playing game after game, traveling around the state.
I remember our house was adorned with photos of me everywhere playing sports. My mom would love to wear my high school jersey and letter jacket places. The refrigerator was lined with newspaper clippings of my sports games. My dad (who played himself growing up) was no doubt living vicariously through me.
I remember in high school my girlfriend walked into my bedroom and laughed that my room was made out to be a shrine. Posters of me playing sports everywhere, flags with my last name and sports awards, trophies lining every corner, etc. I could care less about any of that, but my mom insisted on decorating my room in that fashion.
After a lifetime of sports, I was recruited to college to play as well. I was injured freshman year and my sports career ended. Honestly I welcomed the end of the pressure. However, that’s when the abuse began with my parents and sibling. It only spiraled for decades until I went no contact a couple years ago.
Nothing I ever did after my sports “career” (graduating with my masters degree, getting a high profile job, getting married, having kids, etc) ever warranted pride from them. If it wasn’t sports related, they didn’t care- and the abuse continued.
My wife and I were recently deep cleaning when we came upon a large tote my mom had given me years ago. She said she was cleaning and packed up all my childhood memories for me to keep. I decided to go through them. The tote is packed full of 1,000s of newspaper clippings of me playing sports, videos of me playing, my old jerseys, trophies, plaques, etc. There are a couple of my yearbooks, and then a box labeled childhood photos of which ALL are sports. Of hundreds, maybe 5 are as a baby and unrelated to sports. Then a box labeled “papers”. Every paper is about sports- college recruiters, awards, etc. That’s it, that’s all my memories.
No growth charts, vaccine charts, doctor visits, childhood pictures unrelated to sports. No baby clothes, drawings, school report cards, school plays, etc.
Only sports. I must admit they kept a lot. And the records of my sports are all meticulously laminated, etc. To a stranger (or to those who try and convince me I’m the issue because my parents “did so much for me always taking me to sports” and I should forgive them) would think they were amazing parents by the looks of the tote. Yet to me it’s so clear, all I was a trophy for them to get recognition for and as soon as I no longer played I lost my value.
Curious if anyone else can relate to this?

For as far back as I can remember, my parents love for me was contingent around how well I did in sports. I remember the fear of playing subpar in a game, only to get screamed at by my parents and then given the silent treatment for days (I was 8). The older I got, the more skilled I became in sports, the more intense the pressure became. I did love sports, but it was my identity. I’d always be signed up for clubs, I’d spend hours a day post school practicing, etc. Weekends would be spent playing game after game, traveling around the state.
I remember our house was adorned with photos of me everywhere playing sports. My mom would love to wear my high school jersey and letter jacket places. The refrigerator was lined with newspaper clippings of my sports games. My dad (who played himself growing up) was no doubt living vicariously through me.
I remember in high school my girlfriend walked into my bedroom and laughed that my room was made out to be a shrine. Posters of me playing sports everywhere, flags with my last name and sports awards, trophies lining every corner, etc. I could care less about any of that, but my mom insisted on decorating my room in that fashion.
After a lifetime of sports, I was recruited to college to play as well. I was injured freshman year and my sports career ended. Honestly I welcomed the end of the pressure. However, that’s when the abuse began with my parents and sibling. It only spiraled for decades until I went no contact a couple years ago.
Nothing I ever did after my sports “career” (graduating with my masters degree, getting a high profile job, getting married, having kids, etc) ever warranted pride from them. If it wasn’t sports related, they didn’t care- and the abuse continued.
My wife and I were recently deep cleaning when we came upon a large tote my mom had given me years ago. She said she was cleaning and packed up all my childhood memories for me to keep. I decided to go through them. The tote is packed full of 1,000s of newspaper clippings of me playing sports, videos of me playing, my old jerseys, trophies, plaques, etc. There are a couple of my yearbooks, and then a box labeled childhood photos of which ALL are sports. Of hundreds, maybe 5 are as a baby and unrelated to sports. Then a box labeled “papers”. Every paper is about sports- college recruiters, awards, etc. That’s it, that’s all my memories.
No growth charts, vaccine charts, doctor visits, childhood pictures unrelated to sports. No baby clothes, drawings, school report cards, school plays, etc.
Only sports. I must admit they kept a lot. And the records of my sports are all meticulously laminated, etc. To a stranger (or to those who try and convince me I’m the issue because my parents “did so much for me always taking me to sports” and I should forgive them) would think they were amazing parents by the looks of the tote. Yet to me it’s so clear, all I was a trophy for them to get recognition for and as soon as I no longer played I lost my value.
Curious if anyone else can relate to this?