Shy love from the cathouse

Moviesinthemaking: A behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of film

2012.07.14 10:01 appydays Moviesinthemaking: A behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of film

A celebration of movie making, showcasing the best behind-the-scenes photos, videos and articles from movies, classic to modern, kitsch to cult, and everything in between.
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2017.06.14 13:41 -Krish- The Official Subreddit of Love Island UK

Love Island All Stars has now concluded and we’re in the off season! Villa doors reopen on June 3rd for series 11! *Please use modmail, do not contact mods directly*
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2017.01.25 20:52 ohnoahshark what in tarnation

wot in turrrnaashion
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2024.04.29 05:11 hfk313 Typing help please

Socionics Questionnaire for MBTI help please:
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
What are your values, and why?
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
How do you behave around strangers?
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
What is your biggest accomplishment?
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
What is something you regret?
Who do you admire, and why?
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
Talk about a significant event from your life.
How do you see other people as a whole?
What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
submitted by hfk313 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 05:07 hfk313 Sedecology Questionaire

NEED TYPING HELP
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
What are your values, and why?
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
How do you behave around strangers?
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
What is your biggest accomplishment?
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
What is something you regret?
Who do you admire, and why?
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
Talk about a significant event from your life.
How do you see other people as a whole?
What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
submitted by hfk313 to Socionics [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 05:01 OriginalNameIPromise 21 [M4F] #Sweden/Anywhere - Looking for that special someone to spend the rest of my life with

Hi! i really have no good way of introducing myself. but i will do my damn best so here we go.
I'm a pretty calm guy, i wouldn't say shy though. i can handle conversations with new people and when i do meet new people i tend to be quite outgoing. However i do much rather tend to prefer a cozy night home in front of a good movie with some company to a night out every day of the week. in a relationship i'm clingy, abit needy and i need quite abit of close contact and cuddling.
in my sparetime i like to relax, i work a full time job and my evenings and weekends are spent relaxing with a walk, series or an hour or two of video games before i have to pass out. then repeat.
physically i'm 184 cm, 93 kg, pretty fit, blonde with green eyes and as close to a perfect skin as absolutely 0 skincare go. no real zits or markings at all.
i'm looking for a longterm thing, so don't bother messaging because you are bored and want a quick chat before ghosting. i'm done with that.
my ideal partner is kind, loving, require as much contact as i do, likes to take care of themselves and keep healthy as much as possible.
ethnicity, bodytype, haiskin color are all unimpostant to me. as i don't have a physical type. then i have stuff i don't like. saying larger women here is not happening, as everyone is beautiful in ther own way. BUT if a person is really above average, to the point where it's unhealthy. and still don't want to change then that's abit of a dealbreaker. as are drug use and smoking. i'm open if you are down to stop smoking for me. but if you will value a cigarette over me then sorry. we won't be a good match
optional: Good thing to add is that i only wanna hear from women or girls 21 years or older. i have my reasons for this, firstly it's vecause i have family members that's close in age. and it feels kinda wrong. second is that women with a substantial age difference exites me. i don't know if that works for women. being into boys a little under thier age. but if it is then i'm here for you.
if i still have any attention of yours by this point. you are welcome to send me a message, i'll be sure to message everyone back as soon as i can.
submitted by OriginalNameIPromise to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 05:00 Background_Speech250 I (41M) am insecure in relationships, but my wife (43F) hasn't helped. What are reasonable expectations in a marriage?

My wife (43F) and I (41M) have been married for 15 years, together for 20 years.
I suffer from low self-esteem in romantic relationships. I actually have a very healthy self-esteem in other aspects of my life. My low self-esteem stems from being a nerd in school. I skipped two grades (7th and 8th) and going from elementary school straight into high school was probably not the best idea. My parents and counselors tried to make it easier for me but it was still a leap in terms of my physical and emotional development.
Some of the students in my classes were sophomores and juniors which meant that I was 4 years younger than some of them. They were driving, dating, and doing things I wouldn't do for quite some time and they viewed me as a kid. Even my peers in 9th grade were 2-3 years older (my birthday is at the very tail end of the school year). As a result I never really dated in high school until my senior year after I had my growth spurt (finally taller than all the girls even in heels) and even then I wasn't exactly popular and I was bullied a lot by boys and girls both.
In college it was a little better, but more of the same because I couldn't go to even the 18+ clubs let alone the 21+ ones until well into college. Luckily, women in college were more impressed by intellect and ambition and so I finally had a somewhat normal social life around my junior year when I was 19. I had grown to be a pretty big guy by then and started to attract the attention of women which was a new thing for me but it helped my self-esteem and confidence a lot to where I was actually one of the more popular guys in my circle of friends.
Despite that, because of my upbringing and still being shy, I never had any casual relationships. I had had just two romances by the time I met my wife. I was 21 and she was almost 24 - a fifth year senior who had taken a year off to travel abroad. She had a lot more experience in relationships. She was also probably out of my league looks wise. I didn't realize how incredible her body was when I first met her because she was fairly modest (still is) but she had striking features and a great personality. We had a lot of fun together.
She just assumed I was this really self-confident guy who had tons of experience dating because for a brief instant I was one of those guys and she was surprised (and not entirely in a good way) to find out I wasn't exactly casanova. Still, she loved me and I loved her.
The thing is that she is somewhat of a flirt and because of how attractive she is guys flock to her. More than once a guy has approached her and asked her out on a date even when I was standing right next to her. Sometimes they are rude about it, too. One guy said (looking over at me) "You're with that guy?"
When things like that happen she just brushes it off. I wish she would show more obvious signs of affection for me in public. I wish she paid me more compliments. I wish she told me more often how much she adores me. I also wish she would tone down the flirting a little bit. When I ask her not to flirt so much because it makes me insecure she gets mad at me, tells me she is just being friendly, and that I need to suck it up. I don't know if in her mind she is really that confused, but I see what these guys are after and it isn't being a friend. She says "No one wants a 40 year old woman anyway." I wish she said something more like "Stop worrying. You are the love of my life."
I am not worried she is cheating or anything like that. I know Reddit always jumps there immediately. I trust her. It's just because of my background that I just don't have the self-esteem I should given how successful in life I have been. I have started therapy to address that and it is helping, but it would be nice if my wife helped me, too.
I understand it isn't her responsibility to prop up my self-confidence, but she could certainly be more helpful than she has been. She views it as mostly my problem. I understand that security has to come from within, but sometimes she feeds my insecurities with her behavior whether it is her flirting or just her not really coming to my aid when I need her. I see her friends with their husbands and they act very possessive. There is lots of touching (small of the back, rubbing arms, etc) and affection displayed. I remember one time her best friend was hanging out with us and said "I need to get home to my sexy man." My wife would never say anything like that about me, certainly not in public.
I feel like I would be a lot more secure (like I was when I first met her) if she changed some of her behaviors even a little bit. She would probably say that the fact I am so insecure is my problem, that I should be so lucky to be with a desirable woman like her, and if I trust her then what exactly is the problem? She would be right but these insecurity issues are hard to shake and I guess I am looking for a little more empathy and less dismissiveness. Is that reasonable?
submitted by Background_Speech250 to Marriage [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:56 KeySavings8927 I'm at a complete loss as to what to do with my relationship.

Me and my boyfriend are in an online relationship with one another, and want to make it irl once we're able to; we're only 17 at the moment. In August, it'll be a year since we decided to date, however I don't know if I'll make it till then, let alone till we see each other in person. I don't want to break up with him, not at all, but he's breaking my heart in multiple ways.
Ever since we started to date, I've tried to communicate with him as much as possible; tell him every little thing that's going on and hang out with him anytime I can, not to an unhealthily obbsesive degree, but just as a normal partner would. He would do the same, though to a lesser scale, talking to me about funny things that happened, serious things, etc etc. Overtime though, he's spoken to me less and less about things. At this point, it seems that if I don't spark conversation, there is none, and won't be till we say good morning to each other again, or good night. He's a shy person, so I understand to a degree that he may feel weird being the one to kick things off. However, it hurts man. Seriously, it feels like I am always the one who starts anything, minus the handful of times he's gone out of his way to ask me if I want to do something with him. He never calls me, seems to prioritize having a good time with his friends over me a lot, and I've been fed up for a while now. I don't feel important at all to him, even when I know that he does love me very much. (edit: I asked to VC with him earlier today and he said "if I'm free". I asked him three hours later and he's in a call with someone else. I say good night two hours later and yet another opportunity passes because he's in another call with other people when he could've just told me, "hey, not tonight" or just talked to me. It makes me feel worthless and despite me saying that, he's still oblivious to it.)
I've talked to him about this before too, three times actually. I've mentioned that "we don't talk enough and I think that's an issue", but despite him telling me that we need to and that he will try to, the change isn't there still. It feels like he's only gotten worse and worse.
The other night, he broke down to me about how he is realizing that he makes his own life more miserable than it has to be; he comes from an abusive family of divorced parents, so I obviously inquired on why he thinks that? He told me how he became a sort of recluse out of hopes it would make the pain less, but it hasn't. I talked to him more and more about the subject, telling him that his actions moving forward can reverse the unintentional damage he believed he caused. However, he feels he isn't able to change and just gives up on it. I told him that he could, tried to help and he nsjt said "guess I'm stuck then", which pissed me off in all honesty. I just want him to do better, not just because it makes me sad seeing him all tired and sad, but because it'll be better for him as a person. He talked to me about how he "fears taking himself serioualy", which he said he wasn't able to describe all too well. He talked more to me about it and I prompted him with a question I feared asking, mainly on how the times we spend together make him feel, if he feels sad or weird. He told me it just mellows him out, something I don't really want because then I just feel like I'm boring or doing something wrong.
After all of this, I got kind of mad and just took Saturday to try something. I didn't say a word to him minus saying good morning, and look at that, no conversations. I ended up caving in later on and talking, as well as apologizing for not talking too much, but still. My point still stands that he doesn't talk to me enough and I'm sad about it. I see all these other couples (friends) that seems to have relationships miles better than mine cause they communicate, unlike him.
I'm asking what I should do here because I don't know how to feel about all of this myself. Some days, I feel like I should break up with him. Then later on, I feel like that's a step too far. Some days I feel like we are a match made in heaven, and later on I could feel the opposite; my feelings fluctuate constantly. I'm worried we won't work out and I just want help smoothing things out, please.
submitted by KeySavings8927 to BisexualTeens [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:55 Permatheus [30/M] Be my girlfriend for a day?

Want to feel loved, wanted, affection, appreciated, flirt, get excited when you see a new message, listened to, get sweet good morning and goodnight messages, be comfortable talking about anything and everything without being afraid of judgement? I want all of that and more with a girl. I want to experience that love... Dare I say, your love specifically…. Even if only for a day it sounds so sweet.
I’m guessing I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know dating for a day is unrealistic though. I know it couldn’t possibly be instantly genuine in only a days time. I wish it could be haha it sounds amazing. I’m guessing you read this far for a reason though. Hopefully that reason is me. So, please don’t be shy and send me a message. Maybe this is how we meet and with time start a real relationship that lasts much longer than a day. I hope so and I can’t wait to hear from you!
submitted by Permatheus to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:54 Permatheus 30 [M4F] USA/online- Be my girlfriend for a day?

Want to feel loved, wanted, affection, appreciated, flirt, get excited when you see a new message, listened to, get sweet good morning and goodnight messages, be comfortable talking about anything and everything without being afraid of judgement? I want all of that too and more. I want to experience that love... Dare I say, your love specifically…. Even if only for a day it sounds so sweet.
I’m guessing I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know dating for a day is unrealistic though. I know it couldn’t possibly be instantly genuine in only a days time. I wish it could be haha it sounds amazing. I’m guessing you read this far for a reason though. Hopefully that reason is me. So, please don’t be shy and send me a message. Maybe this is how we meet and start a real relationship with time that lasts much longer than a day. I hope so and I can’t wait to hear from you!
submitted by Permatheus to r4r [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:42 DeluluiztheSolulu AITAH for cutting out a friendship that I deemed toxic, when it could be a misunderstanding?

First, I would like to say, I love your channel Charlotte! One of your reacting to bridezilla videos popped into my fyp during lockdown and I watched you since! You’re one of my biggest inspirations and you helped me keep going when I was isolated from my friends during the lockdown.
Before I get into the story, I wrote this on a diff account and on a different thread. Since I don’t remember the old account, I made a new one! Also, this would be a longgg post. Sorry ahead of time.
I was only 14 when I first met them (who was 13 at the time) online. I’ll call them Pepper. We met through a mutual friends who made a group chat. We weren’t close until something happened, a story that I don’t want to talk about anymore.
this caused us to hangout more, eventually we became best friend. Which is a bit of surprise, despite our similar interests, we were very different in personality. Pepper was the smart, shy and distant while, I’m more social and “slow” one (I am not good with school).
A couple of years passed, I realized I became more distant and uncomfortable around Pepper. To give you an idea on how uncomfortable I was, it was like I’m walking on a landmine, trying to avoid getting blown up. It took me a bit to figure out the reasons why.
Looking through our messages, I read one of our argument. The argument was about me giving them the cold shoulder for a couple of months. Although it wasn’t an excuse, the reason why I ignore them because they triggered me to mentally and emotionally shut down. They weren’t the reason why I became like that, my issues was piling up and what they did was just cause it to collapse. I did told them I wanted some space but they kept on contacting me.
(What they did that cause it was that they mentioned along the lines of regretting being friends with someone who is no longer with us. The reason why they said it because it was affecting them)
I noticed they were low key trauma dumping on me when I went with no contact. Pepper knew this and try to push blame on the person who was causing them to vent, acting like a victim. At one point, I thought this is their way in trying to get me to talk to them because they knew I’m the type of person who would drop everything for the people I cared about. Especially when it related to them.
I eventually had enough and told them I don’t want to be friends anymore. Which led to the said argument. Long story short, we stayed friends. I didn’t realized then, Pepper played and manipulated me because the entire time, they made themselves the victim, even while acknowledging my feelings. To understand what I mean, they said (paraphrasing) “did I hurt you? Im a monster aren’t I?”
Upon realizing this, I went further into the messages. Hoping this is the first time that they did it but sadly, it wasn’t…
I then confided with my now best friend, who helped me understand the amount of boundaries that have been crossed. Boundaries that I never realized that I needed and should have. This is where I believed I’m the a word.
I never put proper boundaries with Pepper. I allowed them to rant to me. Overall, i enable their behavior. Pepper did the same thing with me. I came to an understanding, we were just each other safe space, but at the same time, we were poisoning each other.
At first, I wanted to cut Pepper out but debated to talk it out first because this could be a whole misunderstanding. I changed my mind when I found out Pepper tried to destroy a tie between me and my now best friend, accusing me of using them when I first tried to cut them out of my life.
Another reason why I would be the a hole, I didn’t cut them out immediately. Reason one, they were busy focusing on their life and didn’t want to disturb their mental health (not an excuse, I’m aware). Reason two, a mutual encouraged me to try to work things out for one last time and stupidly, I agreed and I guess you could say I stringing them along. Let’s just say, it did not end well and didn’t get the closure that either of us needed.
Another reason why I would be the a hole, i accused them being Narcissistic because each time we try to talk things out, Pepper would find a way to make it look like I’m the only issue and they’re the victim. Each time they talk about something that I did, I listened and apologize and fix the misunderstandings. But each time I mention an issue, it feels like they were turning it around and blaming me. Example: when I mention how this matter affected me, they would mention a different issue that I did. Even if the issue was something we worked out already.
I know my friends said I’m the victim. But I can’t help but feeling guilty because I crossed boundaries too and I said things and done things that I shouldn’t. They have issues of their own, way worse than mine. Maybe we just misunderstood each other and lash out without meaning to. After all, we were each other ride or die; we were family that we wished we had.
I know I mostly talked about them so to give you an idea what kind of person I was: —as I said, I never set proper boundaries —I used to be pushy when I wanted to help someone —i used to enforce positive things and encourage people to do things that made them uncomfortable
(Do not worry. I am no longer that person. I properly learned social cues and boundaries. And if I ever cross the line again, you can count on my friends to slap me back into place with their chancla)
Further context, all of this happened during and after the peak of COVID. Since most of our contact is through text, there is likely a lot of miscommunications.
I’m ready for judgement: am I the a hole for cutting my friend out of my life? Am I the a hole for only thinking of myself instead not trying to work on ourselves together and clear of the misunderstandings?
Noted: Pepper blocked me, And out of respect and my friends advise, I didn’t attempt to.
submitted by DeluluiztheSolulu to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:31 Active_Buy2666 19m looking for a nice girl to get to know and take it from there

Hey, I'm Brandon I'm 19 and and from the uk. I'm a bit akward/shy but I'd like to meet someone.Maybe the one if I'm being hopeful. I'm not bothered about whether you're local or not as long as you're 18+
I'm a bartender for work and it's pretty fun.
I like going to the gym, boxing and cycling aswell as gaming I LOVE souls games (sekiro I'd my absolute favourite!) but playing something together could be pretty cute perhaps.
I like hearing about other people's lives and being there for people since ive never been in a relationship before. I await your message I'm open to anything really!
submitted by Active_Buy2666 to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:30 Active_Buy2666 19m looking for a nice girl to get to know and take it from there

Hey, I'm Brandon I'm 19 and and from the uk. I'm a bit akward/shy but I'd like to meet someone.Maybe the one if I'm being hopeful. I'm not bothered about whether you're local or not as long as you're 18+
I'm a bartender for work and it's pretty fun.
I like going to the gym, boxing and cycling aswell as gaming I LOVE souls games (sekiro I'd my absolute favourite!) but playing something together could be pretty cute perhaps.
I like hearing about other people's lives and being there for people since ive never been in a relationship before. I await your message I'm open to anything really!
submitted by Active_Buy2666 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:24 silem17 Love my boi and his tank!

Love my boi and his tank!
That’s pretty much it! Love the natural look and the contrast to is white flowing fins. He is stunning! But a bit shy so it’s hard to get a great picture of him but love watching him from afar :). 10 gallon planted tank.
submitted by silem17 to bettafish [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:15 Superiukas 24/East EU/PC - Looking for friends (RL, VAL, CS, etc.)

Hello, I'm 24, looking to meet new people and play games with, preferably over 21+. Would love to find someone who would be interested in forming a long-term friendship not just in gaming but outside too as well. Quite a bit on the shy side at first.
Games I play (for the first 2, looking for similar ranked)
Rocket League (Main, over 6400+ hours, GC2 peak, currently in the depths of C3/GC1) very much into esports scene)
Valorant (played it for around a year, peaked at B2, Fade/KayO/Chamber main, but stopped due to difficulties in finding people, now looking to start playing it again, quite a bit into its esports scene)
CS2 (recently started, mostly deathmatches)
Other games I've played include Life is Strange, various RTS games like Command And Conquer, Total Annihilation, Supreme Commander, Company of Heroes, Total War games. Racing games such as Need for Speed (Underground 2 and other BlackBox Era games),Trackmania, FlatOut, Dirt, Burnout and Gran Turismo franchises (through Emulation) I'm also open to try other games as well
Some other things I'm into include Graphic design (especially esports), All kinds of music (ranging from Pop to House to Metal to Hardstyle to Kpop), Anime, still pretty new to it and YT stuff like documentaries, essays, memes etc. Got a fascination for tornadoes
when messaging, let me know a little bit about yourself.
Looking forward to meeting you.
submitted by Superiukas to GamerPals [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:13 ClintChang 22 [M4F) LTU - EU looking for a genuine relationship!

As the title says, looking for a romantic, genuine relationship with a fellow lithuanian! 😄 (or a fellow European atleast, who would be willing to move/i move places if things get serious).
A little about me:
I'm usually a person who doesn't rush into things when it comes to friendships or relationships, so just a heads up that at first it might be more of a friendship than an instant relationship! Want to get to know someone better before doing anything. So you'll need some patience with me :D
Stay safe everyone :D
submitted by ClintChang to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 04:09 Several_Elevator7417 A small part of me yearns for brightness, texture, full-bodied madness, rage and grief. How do you all have fun in this world, what do you do, what do you make, what do you think? Please tell me everything.

I went to a work colleague's wedding three years ago. I didn't know anyone there, nor did my wife. My wife is an able-socialiser: she charms easily, she can talk well. The evening went its way, and as the sun set people started dancing. I had a little alcohol in me. I wanted to move. And I did dance. I danced energetically, I danced with other people I did not know, I danced until I was covered in sweat. I sat outside in the coolness, breathing, that was all there was to do. Breathe.
Earlier I watched this film called Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. Ordinarily, not my kind of film. I tell myself the bleaker the better, and that fun is frivolous. It's stupid isn't it. But I watched the film with a kind of shy joy, especially during the dance sequence towards the end. It was beautiful watching people move like that. I wondered if I could move that way. When I was a boy there was a gymnastics class at one of the larger leisure centres. I remember looking at the class photos online. The children were in their gymnastic kits, and they scared me. They were quite revealing, and I loathed my little body. I covered it like a secret that might have polluted everyone and everything. So I did not join, and when there were dances I did not dance, and I could not even watch, because I wanted to wear brightest blue and dance and I couldn't. My abusers took something from me I have missed for the longest time. The sweetness, the necessity, of joy.
I guess my question is this. What was searching for you, running after you, that meant you well, that filled your heart, that felt frightening, undoable, maybe even evil? For me it's dancing. I'm 32 now. I'm not old, I'm not youthful. Some time has passed me by, and I often think of this declaration, or insight, or shred of mercy that goes like this:
"So, you practice endings. And one of those delivers you to the understanding that no matter how deeply faithful you are to someone or something, you will not extend their days, its days, by one. So, you have to find another way to love that doesn't rely on the hope that if you love enough, you get more chances to love. You won't. You'll get fewer."
I've been away a long time.
submitted by Several_Elevator7417 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:37 RandomLurker39 [Critique] Are my characters distinct enough?

Summary

I did intend to write my protagonists, Jamie and Victor, as foils to each other, yet I'm concerned that they are too alike. I believe the core similarities are:
And I believe the core differences are: - Jamie became resentful when he faced rejection, making him withdrawn and judgemental. Meanwhile, Victor became deeply ashamed when he faced it, making him very shy and desperate to make friends. - Jamie is genuinely himself, wants to fit in without compromising who he is, and is overly critical of those who bend over to peer pressure. On the other hand, Victor is a victim of peer pressure, and is willing to pretend to be who he is not just to fit in. - Both are considerate helpers, but Jamie subconsciously seeks selfish validation when helping, which drives him to help strangers. On the other hand, Victor helps out of unapologetic selflessness, and doesn't seek validation helping strangers. - Both loathe fighting, yet Jamie believes running away is always wiser and doesn't hesitate to do so. But Victor is either paralyzed with fear or running away whenever some risk of harm happens. Also, Jamie became willfully weak because he doesn't want to hurt anyone, but Victor actually has some self-defense knowledge and strength, yet he's extremely reluctant to use it. - Both lack confidence, and their failure turns to shame and self-hatred. But Victor sees that as a chance to improve more often than Jamie. - Both lack self-esteem, but Victor can't see any good traits in himself. Jamie, on the other hand, is self-righteous regarding who he is, yet very ashamed at his perceived incompetence.
The first lead, Jamie, is the character I described in my earlier post in this sub, he's genuinely himself and he won't give that up, but he still wants to fit in, which makes him socially awkward. The rejection he faced after his old friend's death made him resentful, judgemental, kind of self-righteous, and seeking validation (even from strangers), but lack thereof turns to shame rather than anger for him, thus perpetuating his lack of confidence. This is how I see Jamie in my character sheet: - He wants: Affection and respect from his peers, for his inherent value only. - He needs: Showing his value by actions and gain affection like that. - His wounds: The rejection he faced when entering his teen years, and the death of a close friend just before that. - His major flaws: Being subconsciously judgmental, arrogant, and selfish, while lacking confidence and self-esteem to show his virtues more. - His major virtues: Cooperative, strong-willed, emotional, empathetic, caring, supportive, loyal. - Other character traits: Talkative, shy, passive, cowardly, naive, socially awkward, physically weak. - I did not intentionally write him around it, but the MBTI test said he's an ENFJ (that is, Fe > Ni).
The second lead, Victor, is very akin to Jamie. Read my previous post again, everything except: - Parts of point 5 (he acknowledges social hierarchy but he hates it, he's more into one-on-one interactions) - All of point 8 - Parts of point 9 (he does yearn for status, but, he hates the idea of casual sex) - And parts of point 10 (he likes basketball, but he also likes drawing and painting, yet he pretends to be interested in criminal culture and stereotypical manly stuff)
...apply to him too, though luckily for him, he didn't have to suffer a relative falling to a coma.
He's basically a victim of peer pressure who is, albeit very reluctantly, willing to pretend to be who he is not, partially because he had many false friends out of pity and is desperate to fit in, that being heightened by him being skinny, 7 feet tall, and black (where his race is a minority), yet he refuses to be jaded, but that is because of his age (he's also 16yo), unlike Jamie, who became bitter and judgemental when he experienced rejection, and until meeting Victor, he had only one close friend in his life, who died a few years ago. This is how I see Victor in my character sheet: - He wants: Respect from his peers by any means. - He needs: Recognizing his inherent value, and stopping to seek status. - His wounds: The false friendships and rejection he faced. - His major flaws: Being willing to pretend being who he is not, constantly fearing inadequacy, as well as a horrid lack of self-esteem. - His major virtues: Creative, emotional, empathetic, active, caring, supportive, selfless. - Other character traits: Talkative, weak-willed, shy, envious, nervous, socially awkward, physically fit (albeit not strong or weak), clumsy. - Again, I did not intentionally write him around it, but the MBTI test said he's an INFJ (that is, Ni > Fe).
The following block is a largely irrelevant visual description of the characters, but I'm keeping it if anyone asks.
Jamie is white and 6 feet tall and skinny - albeit he looks more like a pretty boy, yet he doesn't angst over his looks like Victor, who, ironically enough, also looks pretty rather than handsome. I envision both having long hair, blond and back-length for Jamie, and dark brown and knee-length for Victor
submitted by RandomLurker39 to writers [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:37 Mangoes123456789 The Fae Duke Who Loved Me [Romantasy, 1547 words]

Please critique this prologue.
Edmund Cane,Prince of The Fae Kingdom of Lyrica, stood in front of his bedroom mirror at the Royal Palace in Haverton.He had already bathed and put on his red trousers,black shirt,and red waistcoat. In front of the mirror, he adjusted his red cravat. On Edmund’s dresser, there was a small portrait,a multitude of colognes,lotion, and shea butter. Edmund picked up the jar of shea butter that he’d had imported from his mother’s homeland, the Fae Empire of Wallea. He looked at his reflection as he applied the shea butter to his face. He had light brown skin and the Fae’s usual pointed ears and purple eyes.There was a knock at the door.
 “Come in”, Edmund said. Edmund’s mother,Nadeera Deng, entered the room. Nadeera had dark brown skin.She wore a red dress and a gold necklace. Nadeera wore a red gele, the traditional Wallean women’s headdress. Edmund’s mother put her arm on his shoulders,smiled, and said, “Are you ready for your big day?”.
Edmund frowned and said, “Well,it’s too late to get out of it now”. ‘Goddess knows I’ve tried’,Edmund thought.
His mother chuckled and said, “You must be optimistic,Eddie”. She paused for a moment and then sighed. “I wish your father was here to see this.” Then, she picked up the portrait of the late king Henry,and smiled at it. The portrait depicted a handsome pale-skinned, bearded Fae man with blonde hair and a kind smile. “When your father and I got married,we barely knew each other.” Then,she clutched the portrait to her chest and said, “As I grew to love your father, you may grow to love her.” Then, Nadeera put the portrait back on the dresser and said, “Come now,Eddie. The carriage is waiting”.
 A few minutes later, Edmund and Nadeera entered the Royal Carriage.Then,the carriage started moving. Inside the carriage was Edmund’s brother,King Robert, and the Queen Consort, Alora Garba, a princess from the Kingdom of Ahcon. King Robert was a handsome man who had light brown skin and short black curly hair. Alora had the dark brown skin that was typical for Ahconian Fae. King Robert said,“You should be happy,but you look like you are on your way to a funeral,instead of a wedding.” Then, the King grinned and said, “Come on,Eddie. Smile.” Then, Edmund put on an exaggerated fake smile.The King laughed and said, “Everything will be fine,brother.” Then,Robert leaned forward and whispered conspiratorily, “They say that your betrothed is quite beautiful”. Queen Alora elbowed Robert in his side. Then,King Robert put his hand in Alora’s,smiled,kissed her hand and said, “You know that no one could ever take your place,darling.” Alora gave Robert a loving smile. Edmund looked at Robert,then at Alora,and then at Alora’s pregnant belly. ‘These two are madly in love,while I am doomed to what will probably be a loveless marriage to someone I barely know’,Edmund thought. Alora said in her thick Ahconian accent, “This is a good match,Eddie.She is from a good family.” Nadeera said, “And It is better to have the Morelys as our allies than as our enemies.”
Robert said, “Mother is right.” Then, Robert took out a handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to Edmund. “Take this just in case you start sweating”, said King Robert.
Edmund sighed and then said, “Let’s just get this over with”. ‘As father always said, once you’ve got a task to do, it is better to do it than to live with the fear of it’, Edmund thought. Thirty minutes later, they arrived at the Temple.
Edmund had never sweated so much before in his life.He took the handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his face. He fidgeted and his cravat felt entirely too tight around his neck. Edmund put his finger in his collar to try to loosen the damned thing. Edmund looked over the crowd seated in the temple’s main hall. Everyone in the crowd wore red,which was customary at Lyrican weddings. The attendees’ faces ranged from disinterested to enthusiastic. Edmund glanced at his family, seated in the front row with Edmund’s would-be in-laws. Nadeera smiled at Edmund and mouthed, “You will be fine”. Next to his mother was his father’s half-sister, Keyara Chalo,the Duchess of Hammersmith. Keyara had light brown skin,similar to Edmund’s. Keyara had one pointed ear and one round ear,denoting her half-human heritage. Keyara gave Edmund a giddy smile. Edmund gave his aunt a sad smile and then looked at his feet. 
 The double doors at the back of the Temple opened as the choir began singing. Everyone turned to look at Edmund’s betrothed,slowly walking up the aisle toward the altar. Two Temple acolytes in red robes carried the train of Joanna’s long red gown as another acolyte threw rose petals on the ground behind her . When Joanna reached the altar, the choir stopped singing and the Temple acolytes walked away to join the other acolytes at the back of the temple. Joanna stood across from Edmund and gave him a shy smile. Then, Joanna looked at the ground. Joanna did not seem excited to marry the prince as they had only met three days prior. A hooded priestess stood in front of the altar,facing Edmund and Joanna. The priestess wore a red robe and a necklace made of roses.The priestess placed crowns of roses on Edmund and Joanna’s heads. The priestess began, “We gather here today,under the eye of the goddess Rosanna, to bind Prince Edmund Cane and Joanna Morely in eternal love. What the goddess has brought together,let no one tear asunder. If there are any who object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The priestess paused for a few moments. Edmund glanced toward the crowd,hoping that someone would object to the union. A temple acolyte handed the priestess a red ribbon.The priestess continued, “Now stretch forth thy hands and be handfasted together.” Joanna stretched her hand toward the priestess,but Edmund kept his hand at his side. Joanna and the priestess glanced at Edmund. “Oh,right.Sorry”,Edmund said. Edmund began to stretch his trembling hand toward the priestess. Then,he put his hand in a fist and put it on his chest.
Edmund shook his head as he said,”I apologize,but I can not marry her.” Everyone in the crowd gasped.
“What?”, one person in the crowd said.
“Surely,this is a joke”, another person said.
 Joanna’s father, Viscount Morely,stood,pale face red in anger.He shouted, “What is the meaning of this?” “Calm yourself,dear. Let us not make a scene”, the Viscount’s Ahconian wife said calmly. “He is the scene!”,Viscount Morely shouted. The Viscount pointed at Edmund and said, "He was supposed to marry our daughter!”. Everyone stared at Edmund and whispered in disbelief as he took off the crown of thorns and dashed down the aisle and out of the temple. When outside the temple,Edmund released his feathery black wings and took to the sky. Three days later, Viscount Morely walked through a forest,holding a gold box. He came on a clearing and put down the offering. He began to chant. After a few minutes, a white ball of light appeared and materialized into a woman. The woman was tall and had dark brown skin. The woman’s dreadlocks were long and there were gold beads around each lock. There was a crown of roses on her head.She wore a beautiful red gown and gold bangles on her wrists. The Viscount knelt and said, “Oh Rosanna,goddess of love,please accept this offering from your humble servant.” Rosanna snapped her fingers and the golden box appeared next to her. She opened the box and smiled at what was inside. “I accept”,Rosanna said. The Viscount sighed. “A man was betrothed to my daughter,but refused to marry her. This has caused my family much embarrassment and we are now a laughingstock of the entire Kingdom. I ask you,great goddess, to curse this man.” Rosanna raised her brow.”Who would dare violate a betrothal?” The Viscount had hatred in his eyes as he said, “Prince Edmund Cane”. Later that night, Edmund was in his bedroom at the Royal Palace in Haverton getting ready to go to sleep. He had already bathed and picked up the jar of shea butter.He stood in front of his mirror and applied shea butter to his face. “Surely, you did not think that breaking your betrothal would be acceptable,Edmund”, a voice said from the corner of the room. Edmund turned and knelt when he saw Rosanna sitting on his couch . “Forgive me. I could not marry her because I didn't love her.”, Edmund said. Rosanna scoffed. “All I hear are excuses,Edmund. You must be punished for this transgression.” Edmund looked up at the goddess.”I will accept any punishment you deem acceptable,great one.” Rosanna considered for a moment. “You are cursed to lose your magical abilities on your 30th birthday, only true love can change your fate.”
submitted by Mangoes123456789 to fantasywriters [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:29 Party-Equipment3178 Narcissistic In-laws

I need advice on how to deal with my situation appropriately and it’s been going on for awhile now. It seems to be getting worse each time.
I’m almost 22 and have been married since 2021. My Husband and I have a beautiful 2 year old Daughter. Back when I first met my husband I was 18 and had gotten kicked out of my house (my mom and I had a bad relationship at the time) Having nowhere to go my now husband asked his parents if I could stay with them. He was 19 at the time and had just came back from Army Basic Training. His Dad didn’t have a problem with it but his Mom didn’t want me there and I didn’t know it at that time but I never resented her for that especially now as a Mom myself. I wasn’t talking to my Mom or any of my family at the time. I really appreciated them taking me in. I was very shy and didn’t talk much. It was a new environment for me. He told his parents everything. They seemed to have a really close bond. We sat at the dinner table every night with them. It was all new for me and naturally I felt like a burden.
My Mom called out of the blue and my Husband convinced me to answer and talk things out. My mom apologized for everything and she seen that I went to the doctor from an email she had gotten and she knew I was pregnant. When my Husband and I found out we decided we wanted to move to Florida so he could start a career and become a cop eventually so he applied for correctional officer jobs in Fl. My mom knew and she had to take me to my appointments while we still lived in Nc because my husband worked and I didn’t have a car. My husband’s sister knew because he couldn’t keep it from her. His sister told their Grandpa and even told their Mom “I won’t say yes, but I won’t say no” when asked if I was pregnant. We didn’t tell his parents because almost everyday was a lecture about how we better not get pregnant and she would constantly ask if I was taking birth control. She said a few times that she’d “kick our ass” if she found out we were. I didn’t know them well enough to feel comfortable telling them and my Husband just didn’t want a lecture about something we wanted. We were 18 and 19. Yes, that’s super young but we talked about starting a family and moving away and starting a life together. He wanted to be a cop and I wanted to Stay home and raise babies.
So my family got together to throw us a going away party/gender reveal party and also that’s the day my husband proposed to me. His parents knew about the engagement (which btw I later found out his mom didn’t approve when he first told them he wanted to marry me) but they still didn’t know we were pregnant. At this point I felt like his parents liked me and I really liked them. We moved to Fl and his parents even volunteered to put a down payment on a house if we pay the mortgage and eventually buy it from them. We were incredibly grateful. I was actually shocked they offered. I wasn’t there when they talked it over but my Husband and I were planning to rent somewhere before they came up with this idea. His Mom did make comments to people that it was going to be their vacation home and also telling us that the spare room in the house would be their room when they come down Meanwhile, we knew the spare room would be our future child’s room and It did make me a little uncomfortable about it all but I was still trying to show respect and gratitude.
We were staying in an airbnb until the house closed and we got married at a courthouse shortly after and that’s when he called his parents and told them we were pregnant. Naturally they were upset and felt left out and I felt bad but they put some much pressure on us. After that we made the announcement publicly to all friends and family that we were expecting a baby and everything seemed fine. His Mom and Dad were happy, My parents were happy. My mom did later on. tell me that my Husband’s Mom called her telling her that she was going to be in charge of the baby shower since we left her out and that she was owed the right to be there for the first ultrasound for the next baby and she was making my mom feel like she couldn’t be involved in the baby shower, but it didn’t work out the way she wanted because I was the one that planned my own baby shower and my Mom stayed there all night making desserts and that I am sure made her mad when she could’ve went there and helped my mom that night and since then it felt like my Husband’s Mom didn’t like mine.
Slowly I started to realize that they didn’t respect us. For a few examples, lecturing us over and over about something, calling telling us to do things that didn’t concern them something as simple as sending an important paper in the mail, or fixing our car. if we didn’t agree with them, we just said OK to them we never talked back or argued. I told them that I didn’t want anyone at the house when we had our daughter and they came down to stay for a week and she was trying so hard to stay for me to go into labor when my own mom couldn’t make it down to be there. I just wanted it to be me and my Husband because by that point we found out that he was going to deploy two months after we were going to have our baby for a whole year and I wanted that time with just him. luckily, I went into labor the day after they got back home.
He deployed when our daughter was only a month and a half old and I went to live with his parents for a year because I couldn’t be by myself. I didn’t know anyone I had no family or friends down in Florida, so I just wanted some emotional support during that time two months postpartum with a newborn, and I had a fear of driving. sorry, I started regretting that decision because I felt judged and uncomfortable and unwelcome. They would say little out-of-the-way things to me and make me feel like what I was going through, wasn’t a reason to feel the way I did. I had no motivation I was depressed and I was homesick but I still got up every day and took care of my baby. I never needed their help taking care of her. I just wanted people to talk to when I was having anxiety or when my husband and I were going through problems. she never wanted to be comforting during our fights. She would always tell me or my husband that we weren’t gonna make it and we were gonna end up getting a divorce and she even told me one time that she would not let our daughter grow up around that meaning us arguing when we were going through a long-distance relationship and having a hard time. while living with her, she told me that I needed to get off my phone and pay more attention to our daughter even though it wasn’t like I was neglecting her, I would just do things to keep my mind busy when my daughter was content and didn’t need me. my husband was overseas so we had different time zone so I had to adjust to that while taking care of a baby. I constantly felt judged by them. I didn’t like driving so I would always DoorDash things I needed. I bought everything that my daughter needed. I bought breakfast and lunch for us. The only thing that they provided was dinner.
my mother-in-law’s aunt lived right next-door and she would asked me to go out and run errands with her all the time and it helped me get out of the house. We would go grocery shopping together and she took me anywhere i needed to go. we had good conversations and it was a way to bring us closer. she was really there for me when no one else was emotionally . multiple times while living with them. They would ignore me when I would ask for my daughter back tell me “no it’s okay” they got her or when she was screaming they thought that they could comfort her more than I could and they would not hand her back to me.
I’m sorry this is super freaking long but fast forward to May of last year.
my sister-in-law, and I have the same birthday and she lives in North Carolina and at this time his parents live in Tennessee they took off work to go down to North Carolina to spend time with their daughter on her birthday but she decided to go to the beach so they took the opportunity to come down to Florida for my birthday and I was already upset that my family couldn’t be there but I decided to try and enjoy it. we had been arguing with his parents a week before, and I didn’t want them to come down and continue to argue with us and ruin my birthday and that’s exactly what happened the day after my birthday they were outside washing our house because they said it was really dirty and we went next-door to swim for 20 minutes.
We came back and they were so mad and said that we needed to get rid of our dog, because it chewed the table they gave us, and before we had time to even react, she told us the table was destroyed, and we need to figure something out about the dog so we went in and saw that the leg of the table was chewed, and our dog was in a cage shaking with P all over the house. We were upset because they were demanding that we get rid of our dog before even trying to talk it out like adults and for us to actually feel sorry about what had happened we let it go for a little bit and I was in my room on the phone with my mom and that’s when I heard my husband and his dad getting into an argument. His dad was cussing him and my husband walked through our room to go outside because we were grilling out and his dad followed so I told my mom that I would have to call her back at that same moment my husbands mom open the door and demanded that I get outside and listen to what they had to say. I didn’t say anything I just walked outside and they bashed for everything, our financial struggles, the fact that I didn’t take Mother’s Day to go get cookies to my husband’s grandma in a nursing home
I was shaking so bad I was so upset that they were just yelling and screaming and bashing us, and I was just sitting there quiet not saying anything back. I finally had enough and I started standing up for myself, saying that I didn’t appreciate how they didn’t care about my feelings so they asked me to give them examples. I told them whenever I had my wedding, I also had a miscarriage and I didn’t feel comfortable with one of my sister-in-law‘s friends coming, and I was made out to be the bad guy, and they only thought about her and how I ended up giving in and letting her come because I didn’t want her sitting at a hotel by herself so I was still thinking about someone else’s feelings, but no one was thinking about mine and how I was going through a hard time and they of course shut that down and gave excuses.
I gave them another example about how Christmas of 2022 was going to be mine and my husband and daughter‘s first Christmas ever together because he was deployed for our daughter’s first Christmas my dad had also died December 5 of 2022 and I was also supposed to be pregnant by that time but I lost the baby. I didn’t even get to get anything out and explain my side. The only thing I could get out was “like Christmas-“ and she started waving her hands and screaming and sayin “my son was deployed for a year and I lost my dad”(he died in 2019) I was taken back, but I calmly said” my dad died too” and she fires back and yells. “Yeah, but mine was my life “ I shut down after that how dare she say that and try to one up me ? because my dad had just died a few weeks before that Christmas that we were talking about but she made it about her, which honestly proves my point when I told him they didn’t care about my feelings. She turns around and attacks me and makes it about her but I didn’t even have time to explain that I just wanted Christmas morning to be a tradition with my family. My daughter and my husband and I was going through a hard time anyways, so I was trying to say that it upset me that they made it out to people like we didn’t even want them there when they spent a week with us before Christmas. They live 7 hours away so we can’t have the normal grandparents come over Christmas afternoon like everyone else in my family can’t come over for Christmas morning so they shouldn’t be able to either and the point at the end of the day is that we were that’s what we wanted as a family of three to have Christmas mornings with our daughter.
she didn’t talk to me for the rest of that day and the next day they had left early to go see my husband’s grandma at the nursing home that they moved her to and my mother-in-law texted my husband and asked if we wanted to meet them for lunch so we did I said right across from her in a booth and she didn’t even look at me once or speak to me at all when my daughter‘s food came out it was hot so I put it closer to me to try to break up her food and let it cool down each time she would pull it away from me because my daughter was sitting next to her. I would pull it back and take out the bag of chips and then she would pull it back I would pull it back and dump out her green beans and she would take it back. She did it 3 times all while not looking at me and I still was the bigger person and didn’t say anything and continue to act like nothing happened
when we got back to our house, I went to my screen porch for the rest of the time that they were there. My husband and his parents were in our kitchen and when they were ready to leave my husband came and got me and told me that I should come say goodbye, so I stood in the driveway while my husband, my daughter and his parents all laughed, hugged and kissed and said goodbyes, and then she walks up to me and speaks like a robot in a way of not even wanting to come up to me, like it was bothering her that she even had to speak to me and she just said “bye. Love you” in a really rude way over something that she said to me and it’s funny too because in her hand was a homemade Mother’s Day gift that I made her but she’s going to talk to me like that, and ignore me and treat me like that over her yelling at me and putting me down about my pain with my dad. After they pulled out of the driveway , I went back to the screen porch and cried because that’s the first time I fully felt like I wasn’t part of their family and she showed her true colors once I tried to stand up for myself about her being disrespectful to me when for the three years that I’ve been with my husband at this point, I’ve never spoken back to her or disrespected her
for days they ignored us, and I just cried over my dad because he’s gone and it was like throwing my grief in my face and my husband finally told his mom that she needed to apologize to me. She called him and asked to speak to him alone, and I later found out that she was saying that I took everything the wrong way and she didn’t mean it like that. Finally she text me and basically tells me the same thing that she wasn’t saying anything about my relationship with my dad. She was simply saying why she needed Christmas morning with her family. I didn’t accept her apology because it was basically making excuses, but I decided not to hold her accountable and I just simply explain to her that Christmas has never been the same for me since my grandparents died and then I just wanted that special moment with my daughter especially now that my dad it was gone and I moved on from it I for gave her a few months after this happened she came down for my daughters birthday, and it was still awkward and I was still a little hurt by the way she treated me, but I was trying to MoveOn for it for my husband and daughter sake, and even my own.
After May 2023 it seemed like things were going good they would call and the conversations were nice they weren’t lecturing. We finally thought they learned their lesson after the big blowup in May but then fast forward to April 2024.
they came down suddenly in April after coming down a few weeks before just to visit because my husband’s grandma wasn’t doing too good she was in the hospital and they were preparing for her to pass away. I was taking ovulation medication because we were trying to have another baby. I felt very hung over sound out am I anxiety was the worst it has ever been I would cry almost every night because I would almost go into panic attacks so while they were here, I stopped taking the medicine and was still suffering side effects so I try to stay out of the way because I know they were grieving and everything was happening so suddenly for them and I wanted to be there to support my husband, his work schedule was so messed up that he only had a few hours after waking up to be able to go to the hospital before having to leave for work until 1 AM in the morning so I was never able to go with him to see his grandma, but he asked me if he thought she was about to die if I would go with her and I said of course. Well she passed away before we can make it to the hospital and I know everyone was devastated. This was a day after Easter. My husband had to work on Easter so before we even knew the condition of his grandma’s health, we plan to have our own Easter and egg hunt the day after Easter because my husband would be off work, and that is the day that she passed away so I told my husband that we could cancel our egg hunt and he said no because he wanted to be there with our daughter and enjoy that time. I also invited his parents because I thought it would be good for them to get their mind off of things, and I made a bunch of desserts, including homemade cookies that his mother had asked me to make weeks before this for the next time they came down we grilled out and there was gonna be plenty of food for them and I wanted that time with them as well, but I respected that they needed time to themselves after his dad had just lost his mother.
they had been staying in a hotel, the whole time they were here but the day after she passed away, they came over that morning, and our house was a mess because we had a cookout the night before, and my husband was grieving and upset and we were just too tired to clean and we were planning to get it the next morning They wanted to take our daughter to the park and Dairy Queen and we were going to stay back because we both weren’t feeling too well and we were going to clean the house but before they left my husband’s Dad told us “I wish I would come with us.” so my husband told him that we would get ready and meet him there and that’s exactly what we did. We had lunch with them and the little things like forcing her to eat a hamburger when I told him that she like chicken nuggets or taking her drink away and telling her she’s not feeling up on a drink that she’s going to eat always bothered me and there’s always done it but I knew that at this time it wasn’t my opportunity to stand up because he just lost his mom and I didn’t want to start anything not that I would’ve been rude about it but they never take it for what it is. It’s disrespect if we stand up or tell them we don’t like what they’re doing but I told my husband that what happened in May would never happen again.
we were driving my mom’s truck because my husband‘s truck was in the shop and we went to a thrift store while his parents took our daughter to the park at the thrift store. I found an angel that I wanted to gift his dad to show sympathy. I got a few little toys for my daughter to so when we left we were on our way to meet them at the park and that’s when the mechanic called my husband and said his truck was ready. He called his mom to ask if his dad would follow him and get the truck and if his mom will drive my mom’s truck back home because I was under the influence with the side effects of the medication. She then asked if I couldn’t just make it to the park and the mechanics is right behind the park so of course I could have, but I didn’t see the difference of them going to getting it when we were ready to leave the park together or us going and getting it so we went to the park instead so I could give my daughter her toys.
while I was in the truck getting the gifts out for my husband’s dad, my husband went over to explain that I would just feel more comfortable if they went and got the truck because I was under the influence and later on I found out that his mom said “no she’s not, and saying that I was lying” but when I got out of the truck, she was talking all nice to me and explaining that my husband and my father-in-law we’re going to go get his truck and she even told me to watch my daughter for a second while she went and grabbed her drink out of the car and hit my head. I thought that was crazy that she told me to watch my own daughter, but she those are the little things that I let go and let her say because there’s no point of talking back. It always will start something.
if you’re with me so far, this is the end in our current situation. We all got back home and they walked in and saw that our puppy Peed on the floor and they got mad. We tried to let it go because my father-in-law‘s mom just died and there’s no sense of getting into an argument. We went to our neighbors to give them desserts that I had made for a cookout because I didn’t want them to go to waste while we were there. His mom texted him asking if our daughter could spend the night with them in a hotel when we thought they were staying with us first I didn’t say no I just said where is she going to sleep and they said in the bed with us I didn’t like that. I wanted her to be in a crib so we said no but we even called the hotel to ask if they had cribs to rent because somebody in the hotel said no so we were trying to compromise. We got back to our house and they were so mad. They were ready to leave without saying bye his dad was already in the car and his mom was walking out the door and didn’t really wanna speak to us. We asked her what the issue was and they went off. He went to the car to talk to his dad. his dad screamed at him and drove off. I was so upset because there was no reason to treat us like that when we have boundaries with our daughter and they were supposed to stay with us, but they decided that they were too upset about the dog peeing, and that our house was a little messy from the night before that they wanted to stay in a hotel, and they wanted to take our daughter too.
The next day I had an eye doctors appointment that I scheduled months in advance, and my husband had a job interview and they did not communicate when they were coming over so my husband was already gone and I was about to walk out the door. My husband’s grandpa lives right next-door because we moved him down here a few months ago and they were out there talking to him so I let my daughter go say bye to them and they didn’t speak to me at all. again the same treatment like back in May how she didn’t even want to look in my direction or speak to me so I left and they then texted my husband how I just took off with my own daughter, so there was no reason to stick around blaming me, of course.
I understand that his dad was going through a hard time but my husband also just lost his grandma and that just so happen to be my dad‘s birthday. I wasn’t going to make it about me of course not but I still didn’t wanna get yelled at on my dad‘s birthday I wanted to remember him and have a good day. I texted his mom three days after the incident. Nothing about the text was rude. I just told her that I was blown way by the disrespect and I didn’t like how they treated us. I brought back up me and how it was unfair that she thinks she can continue to yell and scream at us and ignore us. she read it and instantly called my husband and tried to bash me and I tried to speak up and she shut me up telling me that she was talking to her son not me my husband told her not to speak to his wife that way and she tries to bash me and say that I didn’t even want to say sorry to my father-in-law for his loss when I tried to do little things like buy him that angel and make cookies for them and I made a grocery order the night they came down and I clean the house and I was expecting to cook dinner for them and host them but they stayed in a hotel the whole time
she bashed us saying that we didn’t even offer them a shower, or anything to drink or anything to eat when they came home but right when we walked in the door is when they started yelling and lecturing us about dog pee, and it went downhill from there so we didn’t even have time to offer anything that they wanted or needed but every time they come over they make themselves at home because their name is on the deed even though we pay for the home, they act like it’s their home and they do whatever they please, so there was no reason we felt like we needed to assist them to the shower or ask if they needed anything even though that morning they got there She asked if I had any Dr Pepper and I said no that I had Sprite and she didn’t want that so at this point she’s just trying to make us look bad like it was our fault and they didn’t feel welcome here so that’s why they went to a hotel that night.
she was so rude and making excuses and disrespecting me not wanting me to talk to her. She kept saying she wanted to talk to her son and not me and she even called me a little girl at that point I had enough I was finally standing up for myself after four years of my mother-in-law saying out-of-the-way things to me and putting me down and lecturing me, I finally had enough I never cussed once at her I never cussed on her because I respect her enough, but I finally had enough of shutting my mouth and letting her talk to me anyway she want it. I told her she was not gonna call me a little girl and that she was going to hear from me because she’s bashing me to my husband, I tried to explain my side, but she kept on and on accusing us and saying that we were the reason for all of this and that they did nothing wrong and keep in mind, we have never raised our voice to them. We have never cussed at them we have never told them. Hey you’re wrong we don’t agree we just let them have their way and we were done May 2023 was our breaking point even though then we still were respectful, this time we weren’t gonna let them have their way and feel like they were right
The next week my husband went to go pick up his grandma’s ashes because before the fight that was the arrangements because they had to go back home to Tennessee he called the funeral home and they said that the day before his mom called and told them that they were coming down for the weekend to get them but they said nothing about that to us and at this point he hasn’t spoken to his dad in a week. he told his mom that he didn’t even feel welcome at the funeral, and that it really upset him. His mom told him that I had nothing to do with the fight, and that his dad simply just wanted his mothers ashes and she made excuses of course later that day she calls and I heard everything she said even though she thought I wasn’t around and she continue to bash me over and over about how everything was my fault, and I never wanted them around our daughter or to have a relationship with her.
it was extremely hard for me to keep my mouth shut for an entire hour when someone’s making things up and bashing you she think those want to say that she’s sick and tired of me calling her a liar, which I’m never said hey you’re a liar I just said that her apology wasn’t sincere and she continued to say that I took it the wrong way when she was bashing me about my dad and tell her that’s calling her a liar because she continues to say she didn’t mean it like that but the reason I brought back up made her was to say she thinks she can continue to talk to me that way and get away with it and that I was tired of it. my husband try to stand up for me and tell her how it made me feel like she was comparing my pain to hers about my dad and then she makes the snarky remark” I actually had a relationship with Mine”. she was talking about her relationship with her dad and comparing it to mine so again she’s throwing up my pain and trying to one up me and again argue on why she should’ve been there Christmas morning and she even said” I was explaining what I needed Christmas morning with my son and his daughter” His daughter???!
after that phone call, everything seem to be fine with his parents and my husband but she was still ignoring me. She wouldn’t call or message me and apologize or even explain herself. She just wanted to bash me to my husband and now everything was cool with them and they came down for a weekend to get my husband’s grandma‘s ashes and they went to the park with my husband and daughter and I decided to stay home because I didn’t want anything to go down and I be blamed for ruining that hard time for his family. My husband said they didn’t even ask about me and I know that they were happy that I wasn’t around because she made a post about how she just needed that time with her son and granddaughter, and everything was worded perfectly but I know that that was a dig at me and every time I would post something about the way I was feeling just little quotes that I see she would always post something as if she was speaking to me. it didn’t matter if it was something to do with disrespect or my daughter, or supporting my husband she would always find a post to relate it about what I’m posting. stuff like “no one could love her children the way she does” when I would post about how I love my husband and that I am there to support him
ever since then she has been calling my husband to bash me and come up with a new reasons on why I am the bad guy and I’m sick of it so if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading my story because I don’t even know what to do at this point my husband wants to cut her off maybe not forever but he wants her to understand that she can’t keep treating me like this and even treating him like this because the last phone call was two days ago when we thought everything was at least cool with my husband and his parents even though I knew she still had a problem with me over things she said to me she calls him and bashes me and tells my husband that he’s not standing up for his parents and that that’s wrong and that that is his blood family and that he should be the hero and fix everything or she’s not gonna want to be around me
i’ve read a bunch of other stories about toxic in-laws, and there’s a lot that are way worse than my situation but I’ve had enough of her talking to me anyway she wants, putting me down, lecturing me, throwing my dad’s death in my face as if her relationship was greater and her pain is worse and I’m just sick of it because I can’t even look at pictures of my dad without crying and regretting and it’s really hard to stand up for myself when someone bashes me and makes themself the victim when I know for a fact, the last four years I’ve been nothing but kind to her. Yes, she has done things for me, but when she treats me bad, she uses that as a way to say “look at everything I’ve done for her and she wants to treat me like this?” just because I stand up for myself when she yells at me and I don’t know what to do so if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I need help
submitted by Party-Equipment3178 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:18 AnimePacifist 25 [M4F] Northeast US/Online - Be the reason I smile when I look at my phone ❤️

I’m looking for a monogamous relationship based on honesty, communication, and mutual respect. Let’s be each other’s cheerleaders and support one another!
I’m a shy, introverted guy, a total nerd and homebody, and I have so much love in my heart to give to another person. I always try to see the beauty in things, and keep from cynicism. Let’s lift each other up, let’s make each other smile, let’s make our days a little brighter ❤️
I really love art and creative expression, my favourite forms being anime, manga, video games, and film. Some of my favourite anime are Sound! Euphonium, Death Note, Ghost in the Shell, and Berserk. For games I’m a huge Nintendo guy, I absolutely love The Legend of Zelda, Mario, Pokémon, but my favourite series is EarthBound (aka MOTHER). Generally I like sci-fi, fantasy, and horror fiction in any medium.
I’m also a pacifist, and very passionate about peace and nonviolence! ❤️🌎☮️ I want to make the world a better place in my own small way. I really care about helping others and being a good person.
My Physical Description: Brown hair, hazel eyes, pretty thin.
As long as you’re not a bigot or crazy, come say hi! Just looking for a decent human being with respect and kindness for others. Preferably not a fan of true crime or at all supportive of A.I. "art". Since I’m a huge fan of anime/manga/Japanese video games, it would be nice if you were too. I talk about it all the time. I’m just looking for someone that gets me. If I’ve peaked your interest feel free to send a chat. I’m fine with SFW or NSFW chatting as long as you’re interested in being partners.
I don’t have any hard limit on age, just 20+, so please message me if you think we’d click! Just please no "hey" responses. Tell me about yourself!
To anyone who read all of this, thank you, and I hope to hear from you! I hope you find your forever person, even if it’s not me! If you read all this way, say "banana" in your message 😊
submitted by AnimePacifist to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:12 flushedminds 23 [M4F] Will you say "I love The Smiths" to me in an elevator?

Hello people! I am back after a while and things didn't work out with the people I talked to so here we go again.
Don't you ever wonder what it feels when two people actually try? Please, I don't want anything casual anymore. I want genuine, deep, and intimate connections that can lead to something deeper. Something about these types of connections make relationships worth having in my opinion. Maybe siguro kasi it's been a long time since I've felt like that din HAHAHA
Anyways, I wouldn't wanna pour everything on here kasi magiging word vomit and if may questions kayo (please i love getting asked) just ask me in the dm's. Instead here's something about me.
-Gradwaiting (this coming July) from big 4 if that matters.
-From Rizal and constantly goes to Makati
-Date to Marry type of guy, Speed pa mag reply haha I'm more of a call guy than text guy
-Half Human, Half Zombie kasi working 6 days a week and working night shift kaya if nag pupuyat ka, lagi kang may kasama
-Look-wise, I rate myself as a 6/10 pag gising, 6.5/10 pag bagong ligo, E=mc^2 pag tulog para leveled na rin yung expectations niyo pero you be the judge.
-Been told I have a nice voice (very subjective)
-5'7" in height
-Physique is currently dad bod since nag pandemic and all that pero im back to the gym and consistent for 4x a week (bumping up to 5x) and no plans to stop anymore (gotta get those gains)
-Interests are diverse, Anime? Sure, Kdrama? G, Music? Yep into that too, Bingewatching shows/movies? Any day of the week especially kung Horror, Gaming? All my life.
-if it matters, no I can't host but can drive to places.
-Any humour goes for me kahit gano pa kadilim yan. Kahit mas madilim pa sa dark ages, okay lang sakin.
-Shy at first pero goes into yapper mode if we really get close.
-Fun fact about me is I'm ambidextrous.
About You:
-22-28 years old
-humihinga(optional HAHAHAHA ANO DAW)
-Pumipikit (optional din)
-No preference in height naman
-preference is short hair pero if long din naman okay lang din plus points if may glasses so we can be blind together.
-preference din na we have the same interests para we can get along well
-plus points if you work out too para I have an accountability partner haha
Anyways, that's it for me folks. Hope to see you in the dm's. Shoot up a short intro about yourself!
submitted by flushedminds to PhR4Dating [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:12 rakoteh Lacie, a true heart dog and an amazing friend

Lacie, a true heart dog and an amazing friend
When I was 20, I adopted a seven year old salt and pepper gal who had a pretty rough life and several owners before me. One of them had her debarked (who gets a schnauzer and expects them to be a quiet dog) so she didn't make any noise aside from her breath squeaking out but also farts. Did leave significant scar tissue in her throat and of course she required a lot of surgeries for a miriad of health issues. But her vet was absolutely amazing and took excellent care of her. I can still hear him groaning outside the examination room when he realized it was Lacie 😂 It was in a loving way, he absolutely adored her. Everywhere she went and everyone she met, she left a mark and touched hearts. Honestly, she was the best dog I could have ever asked for. A true heart dog.
I rarely had her in a schnauzer cut because, despite being a groomer, it was a lot of work to keep her beard clean and she did get yeast infections on her muzzle so it was healthier and better in the long run to keep her short all over. I did have fun with the mohawk though. As she aged, it really affected her. Vestibular disease in 2019 did give her a slight head tilt and a little balance issue but she adjusted well, seizures began on Chrismas day of 2021, a spinal cord injury in 2022 (hense the wheelchair), and other small things. But medication and frequent vet visits ensured she was happy and her quality of life was still there. She decided she was ready on her own.
Lacie lived two weeks shy of sixteen, she passed peacefully in her sleep with her favorite people (me and my husband) at home an early morning of May last year. I'm still heart broken and next month is gonna be rough.
Thank you for reading, it means a lot to share her with you ❤️
submitted by rakoteh to MiniatureSchnauzer [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 03:12 NotesfromH 23M Irish guy looking for Christian/Catholic friends 💚

Dia Duit! And hello from Ireland! 🤗
Little about me: I'm a 23 year old introvert who loves deep conversations, and love listening to others (I'm an empathetic INFJ). I'm a very kind and gentle person, yet shy and quiet. I also deal with tough anxiety and social anxiety, but by the grace of God I've been able to get through the struggles and draw closer to Him.
I'm Catholic, and would love to find a Catholic/Christian friend of any denomination! I'm open to everyone and love the faith. So don't be a afraid to reach out! And if you want to debate or ask any questions; I'd be happy to do that too :) I have a deep interest in scripture and have a passion for learning about early church history.
*I'm also looking for people close to my age
Other things about me: I LOVE writing! And it's my passion! I recently won 1st place grand prize in a national Irish short story competition! And I'm soon to be published in a short story book collection, and have also been published in magazines. I like reading, video games, pro wrestling, 80s rock and pop music! (I play guitar and bass). And old movies. I'm not one to go with the trends/think what everyone else thinks, and I don't feel at harmony with the modern world 😅. I have a degree in politics. Enjoying helping and listening to others with anxiety and other mental health issues. A hopeless romantic 😅. And it's my dream to visit North America!
If we turn out to be a good match, we can move on to talking by email or other social media if you like ❤️.
Have a beautiful day, thanks for reading ❤️.
submitted by NotesfromH to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]

2024.04.29 02:54 Tonosdeazul DEAL OR NO DEAL ? 2021 PRO S SPORT UTILITY 4D

PRO S SPORT UTILITY 4D - 56k miles and just shy of $22k. Deal or no deal ?
So for context, this will be my first ever EV and don’t want to mess up. I have been reading through the posts in this community for about a week now after I came across this id4 at a local dealership here in Southern California. The wife and I love the car and are ready to jump on it. Anything that we should look out for ? This seems like a really good deal.
I’m very grateful for this Reddit community and all of the knowledge I have gained already. We went to test drive the car today and I had a great time. Already feeling a little familiar with it from reading all the pros and cons here. We were fans of the huge screen and the no buttons actually felt really nice. There was no lagging from the software.
I took the advice of the group and put the vin into vw’s recall website. It did say the car needed a recall for the door handles and a software update to the 3.2 version. When I asked the dealer about this before doing financing he said these were taken care of. I wasn’t sure how to actually check the car myself to confirm this however. Would the recall still pop up on vw’s site when I enter it if it had truly been done ?
Regardless , the wife and I love the car and it seems like a great deal for this one. Looks super new still, very clean and an awesome drive. We were previously interested in the i3 and this has everything I loved about it and then some ! The wife wasn’t as big of a fan of the i3 and absolutely loves the id4. Turning radius was amazing.
So before we jump on it (we already are approved but it is Sunday and will have to come back tomorrow to sign paperwork) , is this a deal or no deal ?
submitted by Tonosdeazul to VWiD4Owners [link] [comments]

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