I am selling off the majority of my collection after realizing that I will never have time to really enjoy these. No point in hanging onto them, also I could use the money. All prices are shipped, **except for any orders under $20**. If interested, please send me your PayPal email and I will send an invoice with all items listed.
All timestamps can be found [here](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VjDacl1bO8gjKRQ1BpWmXFzCcmTd8x3W?usp=drive\_link), link is also at the end of this post. All in the same GDrive folder because Imgur sucks.

• PlayStation 4 & 5

Title	Price	Condition	Platform	Sold Status
Assassin's Creed Syndicate	8	CiB	PS4
Assassin's Creed Unity	5	CiB	PS4
Atelier Lulua	110	New	PS4
Atelier Lydie & Suele	35	New	PS4
Atelier Sophie	28	CiB, minor damage to spine	PS4
Balan Wonderworld	5	New	PS4
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	12	CiB	PS4
Blue Reflection	38	CiB	PS4
Cotton Reboot: Fantastic Night Dreams	35	New	PS4
Dawn of the Monsters	35	CiB	PS4
Dead Cells	33	New	PS4
Deathloop	7	CiB	PS5
Destroy All Humans	7	CiB	PS4
Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth	12	CiB	PS4
Disaster Report 4: Summer Memories	30	New	PS4
Doom Eternal	9	CiB	PS4
Eternal Cylinder	10	CiB	PS4
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age	20	New	PS4
Final Fantasy XVI - Ultimate Edition	65	CiB	PS5
Ganryu 2: Hakuma Kojiro	17	CiB	PS4
God of War	7	CiB	PS4
Ikenfell	30	New	PS4
Indivisible	7	CiB	PS4
Kids On Site	38	New	PS4
Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series (PAL)	17	CiB	PS4
Lawbreakers	15	New	PS4
Lost Judgement	11	New	PS4
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes	6	CiB	PS4
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain	8	CiB	PS4
Monkey King Hero is Back	7	CiB	PS4
Neptunia X Senran Kagura	28	New	PS4
Nine Witches	16	New	PS4
One Way Heroics	12	New	PS4
Persona 5 - Steelbook	20	CiB	PS4
Re:ZERO Prophecy of the Throne Day 1 Edition	32	New	PS4
Resident Evil 4	10	CiB	PS4
Resident Evil Village	12	CiB	PS4
Risk of Rain 2	9	New	PS4
River City Girls (ASIA)	35	New	PS4
Sackboy: A Big Adventure	15	CiB	PS4
Sakuna of Rice and Ruin	16	CiB	PS4
Samurai Warriors 4	25	CiB	PS4
Sega Genesis Classics	15	CiB	PS4
Spider-Man 2	35	CiB	PS5
Spider-Man Miles Morales	12	CiB	PS5
Tails of Iron	22	New	PS4
Transformers Devastation	52	CiB	PS4
Truberbrook	14	CiB	PS4
Where the Heart Leads	10	New	PS4

Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash (JPN)86NewPS4 One Step From Eden32NewPS4

• **3DS & DS**

Title	Price	Condition	Platform	Sold Status
Bravely Default	23	CiB	3DS
Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.	5	New	3DS
Yokai Watch	24	New	3DS
Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon	12	CiB	3DS
Adventure Time: Hey Ice King	13	CiB	3DS
Bust-A-Move DS	5	CiB	DS
Alice in Wonderland	10	CiB - Shrinkwrap	DS
Emily the Strange	41	CiB	DS
Golden Sun: Dark Dawn	30	CiB	DS
Sonic Colors	11	CiB	DS

• **Switch Games**

Titles	Price	Condition	Sold Status
Akiba's Trip: Hellbound and Debriefed 10th Anniversary Ed	32	New
Atelier Dusk Trilogy	80	New
Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon 2	22	New
Catherine: Full Body	20	New
Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise	22	New
Demon Throttle	17	New
Eastward	22	New
Elliot Quest	23	New
Food Girls 2	35	New
Grim Fandango Remastered	50	New
Gris	58	New
Hypnospce Outlaw	25	New
Ikenfell	32	New
Lovekami Trilogy	40	New
Monster Crown	14	New
Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars	42	New
Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars	32	CiB
Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars - Limited Edition (w/game)	100	New
Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars - Limited Edition(w/game)	85	CiB
No More Heroes	36	CiB
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle	32	New
Return of the Obra Dinn	52	New
River City Saga: Three Kingdoms (ASIA)	68	New
Save Me Mr Tako: Definitive Edition	28	New
Sayonara Wild Hearts	17	New
Seven Pirates H	42	New
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero Ultimate Edition	30	New
Snow Bros. Nick & Tom Special	25	New
Streets of Rage 4: Anniversary Edition	22	New
Towerfall	38	New
Undertale	30	New
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap	38	New
Azure Striker Gunvolt: Striker Pack	18	CiB
Food Girls	26	CiB
Gal*Gun 2 (PAL)	15	CiB
Hellmut - The Badass From Hell	10	CiB
Nights of Azure 2: Bride of the New Moon	34	CiB
Omega Labyrinth Life (ASIA)	44	CiB
SNK 40th Anniversary Collection	38	CiB
Witch Spring 3 Re:Fine	22	CiB
GrimGrimoire Once More	28	Loose
Gris	28	Loose
Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown	22	Loose
Skyrim (PAL)	28	Loose

[Timestamps here](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VjDacl1bO8gjKRQ1BpWmXFzCcmTd8x3W?usp=drive\_link)

I have been at my company for 2.5 years and work FT remote. I have always loved my job, company, and my team. Never had an issue with my performance and every quarterly/annual review I've had was always positive. My relationship with my colleagues and manager has always been really good.
My role is a hybrid of two different roles (one being a PM if there are open projects and the other is essentially an analyst). In the beginning of the year, we had layoffs, so naturally, I was given a little more responsibilities which I was fine with. One of them involved working closely with the accounting department. Long story short, I am new to using this software and a big chunk of it is for accounting purposes (I have no accounting background btw). With some data entries, I've made a few mistakes but I have worked closely with the accounting manager to learn from her and it's basically something that takes practice over time. Usually when I have to make some updates or input data and get something wrong, she'd communicate with me and we'd go over it together. Recently, instead of her normally reaching out to me, she went directly to my manager and said she's been unhappy with how I've been doing this and she didn't like how I talked to her. I've only communicated with her via slack, which my manager is in the same channel and my tone is very friendly and I am very responsive. She asked me to get something done by Friday but that she'd be OOO that day. By Friday, I completed her ask but I didn't think about replying because 1) she was OOO and 2) I knew she'd go check Monday if I did it bc she always does. Apparently, she didn't like that.
I have weekly 1:1s with my manager and we have a really good relationship and out of no where he brings up how he's been told that "someone" isn't happy with my errors and communication style. So we try to resolve this "issue". At the end of the conversation, he said he'll send an email to me to recap our conversation for "documentation". I immediately felt like they were trying to build a case on me and put me on a PIP and it was frustrating because I have never had a performance issue and this came up so abruptly. After reading his email, I asked to speak to him to clarify some things. In the email, he also included some miscellaneous things and one of them being the job description (mind you, when I got hired, they changed my role last minute and I never got a formal offer letter summarizing my role the way he had it written in the email).
I got straight to the point and asked him if this an email involving HR and if I was on a PIP. He said not at all, but that he just needed it documented so that when that accounting manager asks about our conversation, he can refer to it. (I'm not buying it). Then I asked if I'm on a PIP or on the road to one and he said absolutely not. So I asked if he can explain the "communication issue" because I work remotely and I only talk to very few people via Slack/Email and so if it's an issue, I'd like to know when that incident took place so I can learn from it. He was beating around the bush but eventually told me it was the same person. I'm still confused what the issue was because he couldn't tell me exactly (all communication is on Slack and he's in all the threads). He said that person could've just had a "bad day" and reported me (example: he said it could've been the way she misinterpreted the tone of my message and that maybe i could've come off too formal). Then I asked if I had ever underperformed and he said no. When he said that, I was confused as to why then he had to write an email highlighting my responsibilities if he verbally said I never underperformed. He basically said he wants me to overperform and do more than what the highlighted job description is. If that's the case, I'm willing to do that, but why write it in an email making it sound like I was underperforming?
Anyways, it's unfortunate that this person I recently started working with has now made me look really bad but my manager has to "document" everything when the entire time I've been at my company, I have done everything that has been asked of me and have great relationships with everyone.
Am I being paranoid and should I still consider this as something that can be used against me in the future even though my manager said it's nothing formal and HR is not involved in this?

Good morning, Night City!
I'm looking for a partner who'd like to join me in writing a story in the world of Cyberpunk 2077. I don't do fandom RPs very often, but this particular setting appeals to me more than enough to make an exception – although I still want to focus on our own original characters, keeping interactions with any pre-existing characters to a minimum. Naturally, for this to work you will need to be familiar with the game, but I don't expect you to have every last detail of the lore memorised – I certainly don't, and I'm fine with improvising to fill the gaps. I don't have a specific plot in mind yet, but the possibilities are endless. We could set the story in Night City or anywhere else in that world; we can use the existing gangs and factions or figure everything out from scratch. I think it's safe to say we can expect a lot of fun action scenes, a fair bit of dystopian hardships to put our characters through, and all kinds of juicy, complex dynamics and relationships for them to develop.
About me – I’m male, 26, I live in Central Europe (CEST time zone), and I have upwards of ten years of experience in roleplaying. I don’t limit myself to playing male characters, and I don’t have a preference as to the gender of yours. Perhaps more importantly, I’m not looking to write a story centred around romance – that is, I don’t want to make it a prerequisite that our characters absolutely have to be lovers at some point. If they have the right chemistry, sure, but it’s not something I’d like to have as a requirement. That being said, I'm all for interesting dynamics! The action and sci-fi elements are fun, but engaging relationships that feel real definitely elevate a story.
As far as requirements go, first of all, please be 18 or older. That aside, I’m looking for experienced, highly literate partners. Post length doesn’t matter that much to me – so long as you’re able to put out a few solid paragraphs per post – but quality does, so please send me a short sample of your writing so I can see if we’d be compatible. Of course I can send you one too if you want. I write in 3rd person, past tense, and my preferred platform is Discord. And the most important thing – please be active! I’m not a GM, and I neither want nor have the ability to drive the plot forward all by myself. I need you to contribute to the story, both in out-of-character discussions and in-character. It’s all fine and good to write a long and stylistically beautiful post, but if it’s self-contained and doesn’t offer the other writer anything to go off of, that makes it tough to come up with a response. I’m not going to start the discussion every time or always be the one coming up with what we need to develop next, so if you can’t or don’t want to be proactive in this collaboration, I’m not the right partner for you.
I think that about does it! If you’re interested, hit me with a chat message or a DM and we can get right to it. Hoping to hear from you soon!

Good morning, Night City!
I'm looking for a partner who'd like to join me in writing a story in the world of Cyberpunk 2077. I don't do fandom RPs very often, but this particular setting appeals to me more than enough to make an exception – although I still want to focus on our own original characters, keeping interactions with any pre-existing characters to a minimum. Naturally, for this to work you will need to be familiar with the game, but I don't expect you to have every last detail of the lore memorised – I certainly don't, and I'm fine with improvising to fill the gaps. I don't have a specific plot in mind yet, but the possibilities are endless. We could set the story in Night City or anywhere else in that world; we can use the existing gangs and factions or figure everything out from scratch. I think it's safe to say we can expect a lot of fun action scenes, a fair bit of dystopian hardships to put our characters through, and all kinds of juicy, complex dynamics and relationships for them to develop.
About me – I’m male, 26, I live in Central Europe (CEST time zone), and I have upwards of ten years of experience in roleplaying. I don’t limit myself to playing male characters, and I don’t have a preference as to the gender of yours. Perhaps more importantly, I’m not looking to write a story centred around romance – that is, I don’t want to make it a prerequisite that our characters absolutely have to be lovers at some point. If they have the right chemistry, sure, but it’s not something I’d like to have as a requirement. That being said, I'm all for interesting dynamics! The action and sci-fi elements are fun, but engaging relationships that feel real definitely elevate a story.
As far as requirements go, first of all, please be 18 or older. That aside, I’m looking for experienced, highly literate partners. Post length doesn’t matter that much to me – so long as you’re able to put out a few solid paragraphs per post – but quality does, so please send me a short sample of your writing so I can see if we’d be compatible. Of course I can send you one too if you want. I write in 3rd person, past tense, and my preferred platform is Discord. And the most important thing – please be active! I’m not a GM, and I neither want nor have the ability to drive the plot forward all by myself. I need you to contribute to the story, both in out-of-character discussions and in-character. It’s all fine and good to write a long and stylistically beautiful post, but if it’s self-contained and doesn’t offer the other writer anything to go off of, that makes it tough to come up with a response. I’m not going to start the discussion every time or always be the one coming up with what we need to develop next, so if you can’t or don’t want to be proactive in this collaboration, I’m not the right partner for you.
I think that about does it! If you’re interested, hit me with a chat message or a DM and we can get right to it. Hoping to hear from you soon!

I just finished my first playthrough of Witcher 1 and I absolutely loved it. It had so much depth in the story which was also very immersive. Seeing Temple Quarter burning like that was so hurting to watch as I could still remember me jogging back and forth from the Hairy Bear Inn.
At the final fight against the Grand Master, the King of Wild hunt really made me feel bad when he summarized all my choices. From his summary his perspective made sense (he called me his best agent), I decided to help Abigail in the outskirts, got Raymond killed, he mentioned Shani with whom I had sex but didn't offer Alvin to her (tbh Triss was a sorceress so I thought she could handle Alvin better), decided to side with the Order in the swamp battle, stayed neutral in the bank heist in trade quarter, then again sided with the Order in Murky Waters (the Scoia'tel held the villagers hostage so I had to rescue them, leaving them to fate while I escaped with Alvin didn't feel right). Did all this only to find out that the Order was behind FREAKING EVERYTHING.
I feel really bad with the way I played this game, I loved the game though (Wouldn't hesitate for a second playthrough but not right away). Those who supported the Scoia'tel or did something different in the gameplay, did you guys at least get anything that didn't make you regret all decisions and saved yourself from the absolute roast from King of the Wild hunt at the end? Please let me know. Cheers!
That sums it up :)

We greet you! We have prepared for you excerpts from today’s broadcast by Anastasia Savina, the author of the stories “Seduced by the rythm,” “On Thin Ice,” and “The Garden of Eden.” Unfortunately, there were problems with sound during the broadcast, so something might have been missed.

1. There will be no more new love branches in the Garden of Eden story. There will definitely be some romantic relationships, most likely there will be affairs.
   
2. Most likely there will be an affair with Ms. Park and Donghyun.
   
3. There will be no affaibranch with Aria.
   
4. The calmest branch in the GE with Doo-yeong. The remaining branches will go progressively.
   
5. Most likely it will be possible to bring characters together in GE.
   
6. You cannot put the manager in touch with Ms. Park. There will be a reason why it is not possible, we will find out about it later.
   
7. We will learn more about Minhyuk in the second season. He can be both a savior and an antagonist. Or maybe both. He is the most ambiguous character - some will understand that they can trust him, but others will understand the opposite (about the players).
   
8. The dearest story for Anastasia is “SBTR” She is the first, positive, light.
   
9. Now Anastasia would like to work more with the branches in the VRS.
   
10. All love lines will have different endings - both good and bad.
    
11. Can MC die - spoiler.
    
12. Anastasia plans to write a new story for RC after finishing GE.
    
13. She would like to write something about mystical, but she won’t write a zombie apocalypse setting. She also asked what kind of setting the players would like to see from her - everyday life or something new.
    
14. Anastasia already has ideas for a new story, but she is not ready to talk about it yet.
    
15. We will see the parents of some of the favorites. Anastasia would like to raise the topic of family, but there are not enough lines. The author would like to talk about the families of Lia, Seonghwa and Cas, but time will tell whether it will work or not. Most likely we will see Cas's father.
    
16. Minhyuk is the most canonical love interest for MC, but in general everyone suits her.
    
17. The hardest thing for Anastasia was to write the charactebranch - Seonghwa. He is too good, but she wants to write him with dignity and pay enough attention to him. But at the moment he is not very connected to the plot.
    
18. Anastasia considers Lia to be the most developed LI.
    
19. Yeon-ah will not have an affair or branch with MC, but she can be set up with others. For example, with Cas, Seonghwa or Dean in the absence of branches with them (note: we did not understand whether we are talking about the future in history or this is only theoretically possible).
    
20. Minhyuk is 30+ years old.
    
21. Ms. Park is 35+ years old.
    
22. Kai and MC have a friendly vibe, there will be no romance between them. But Kai and Yeon-ah are a good tandem.
    
23. Lia is only interested in girls.
    
24. Savina doubted the choice of setting for her story, but Alexandra Remy opened the world of k-pop to her and helps her write the story and wrote the design document.
    
25. The idea for the story was suggested by Remi.
    
26. The thread with Dean was added at the request of the fandom, but Anastasia herself felt the chemistry between him and MC.
    
27. Doo-yeong and Dean are not complete routes, but there will be endings with them.
    
28. Intrigues with a mentor and manager will be without ending, like with Gustav.
    
29. The first thread in the design document was Seonghwa, but the first thought-out favorite was Kas.
    
30. With each update, we will delve deeper into the investigation into the death of our sister.
    
31. There will be no polyamorous relationships in the GE, but perhaps there will be in a new story.
    
32. The death of idols is a spoiler, but it is also a controversial issue. Two deaths in one agency is too many. We need to seriously think about whether this is possible.
    
33. More songs will be written for ES.
    
34. Achievements for stories are created by screenwriters.
    
35. In the June update, scenes will be with all the favorites.
    
36. For Anastasia, Luna is closest, then Michelle.
    
37. Double branch in achievements - to get an achievement you need to take improvements with different favorites at the same time (Songhwa - 8, Lia - 3).
    
38. MC's parents cannot forget and come to terms with the death of their daughter, but they try to continue living for the sake of MC.
    
39. Aria speaks first and only then thinks, it is more important for her to convey her point of view immediately and directly, and it does not matter whether she offends someone or not. She'll think about it later.
    
40. Aria is very impulsive, and Yeon-ah is too soft - they could not be leaders in the group.
    
41. It is important to improve relationships in a group, we will soon find out why.
    
42. The past/childhood of the favorites will be revealed to us.
    
43. Jiyoon has had relationships in the past. Once.
    
44. Perhaps there will be a new broadcast after the finale of the second season.
    

Thank you for reading to the end!
Source: t.me/ Romanceclub_otp

Good morning, Night City!
I'm looking for a partner who'd like to join me in writing a story in the world of Cyberpunk 2077. I don't do fandom RPs very often, but this particular setting appeals to me more than enough to make an exception – although I still want to focus on our own original characters, keeping interactions with any pre-existing characters to a minimum. Naturally, for this to work you will need to be familiar with the game, but I don't expect you to have every last detail of the lore memorised – I certainly don't, and I'm fine with improvising to fill the gaps. I don't have a specific plot in mind yet, but the possibilities are endless. We could set the story in Night City or anywhere else in that world; we can use the existing gangs and factions or figure everything out from scratch. I think it's safe to say we can expect a lot of fun action scenes, a fair bit of dystopian hardships to put our characters through, and all kinds of juicy, complex dynamics and relationships for them to develop.
About me – I’m male, 26, I live in Central Europe (CEST time zone), and I have upwards of ten years of experience in roleplaying. I don’t limit myself to playing male characters, and I don’t have a preference as to the gender of yours. Perhaps more importantly, I’m not looking to write a story centred around romance – that is, I don’t want to make it a prerequisite that our characters absolutely have to be lovers at some point. If they have the right chemistry, sure, but it’s not something I’d like to have as a requirement. That being said, I'm all for interesting dynamics! The action and sci-fi elements are fun, but engaging relationships that feel real definitely elevate a story.
As far as requirements go, first of all, please be 18 or older. That aside, I’m looking for experienced, highly literate partners. Post length doesn’t matter that much to me – so long as you’re able to put out a few solid paragraphs per post – but quality does, so please send me a short sample of your writing so I can see if we’d be compatible. Of course I can send you one too if you want. I write in 3rd person, past tense, and my preferred platform is Discord. And the most important thing – please be active! I’m not a GM, and I neither want nor have the ability to drive the plot forward all by myself. I need you to contribute to the story, both in out-of-character discussions and in-character. It’s all fine and good to write a long and stylistically beautiful post, but if it’s self-contained and doesn’t offer the other writer anything to go off of, that makes it tough to come up with a response. I’m not going to start the discussion every time or always be the one coming up with what we need to develop next, so if you can’t or don’t want to be proactive in this collaboration, I’m not the right partner for you.
I think that about does it! If you’re interested, hit me with a chat message or a DM and we can get right to it. Hoping to hear from you soon!

Hello everyone, GrimaIsBestWaifu here. As you might know, I am a massive fan of Book IV and its characters. Today marks around four years since I officially came around to Book IV after initially being a hater. Needless to say, as a Book IV nerd and enthusiast, I secured a copy of FEH's second art book at the first opportunity in order to further immerse myself in my passion. While it's an illustrations book first and foremost, I found the most value in the sections that went into detail about the lore, story, and characters of Books IV and V (but mostly IV, heh).
As of today, there is no official English version of this book, so non-Japanese readers are limited in how much information they can glean from it. This is a tragedy I can't abide, being heavily invested in FEH's story and wanting others to be able to appreciate it too, despite its flaws. There is also a decent chance that some information contained in this book will be changed or omitted in the official English version, so in that event I hope this might serve as an attestation to the "original" version. In this post, I intend to go over the section that describes the events that take place in Book IV's story. To see my translation of the section of the art book that expounds on Book IV's lore and characters, go here.
Disclaimer: I am not a native Japanese speaker, nor am I fluent in the language. English and Japanese are very different languages, so I will do my best to make things flow nicely in English while retaining as much of the original meaning as possible. Italicized text indicates my own speech, words that do not come from the book. The book's story recap is also told in past tense, but I use present tense in my translation here because I think it flows better and is easier to understand.
Chapter 1: The Dream One day, Alfonse and the others are summoned by Queen Henriette. According to her, an inexplicable incident has occurred in one of Askr's border villages in the wheat country where all its residents have fallen asleep. All efforts have been exhausted in attempting to save the sleeping villagers, who appear to be having nightmares, but none awaken. Henriette tasks them with investigating the sleep sickness there. The Order of Heroes complies, and after entrusting them with the Redolent Censer, she sends them off to the village with a smile. On the way to the village, Loki appears before the party and speaks in a way suggesting she may know something about the sleep sickness. It's possible she is planning something yet again...Alfonse and the others cautiously forge ahead.
As the Redolent Censer continuously burns with poison-nullifying incense, they arrive near the village. Sharena feels at ease and expresses gratitude towards her mother, who gave them the treasure in order to protect them. But in that moment of relaxation, she lets out a big yawn. Anna scolds her before stifling a yawn herself. Upon noticing this, Alfonse and Kiran are also beset by a fierce drowsiness, rendering them incapable of standing. By the time they realize the censer is ineffectual, it's already too late, and they are unable to resist closing their eyes...
Alfonse is with Henriette, along with Zacharias and Veronica. He is confused due to only having vague memories about why they are on a mission together. Suddenly, Zacharias attacks Henriette and corners Alfonse alongside Veronica.
Then, a girl abruptly appears and envelops the surrounding area in a dazzling light by reciting an incantation and prayer, causing Zacharias and Veronica to disappear. As Alfonse is yet again confused by the situation, the girl smiles brightly and says, "I'm Peony! I'm a ljósálfr—or light elf, you might say. I'm from the land of dreams, Ljósálfheimr." (This quote is transcribed from the official ENG script and is not a direct translation of the book's text, which uses the JP quote)
Chapter 2: Missing You (JP: One Person, Missing) The dream realm, álfar... Peony puffs out her cheeks when Alfonse cannot believe his ears. They regroup with Sharena and Anna, but Kiran is nowhere to be found. Even after following Peony's advice and trying to bend the dream world to their wishes, Kiran remains missing. Peony guides the party in their search for Kiran, claiming that the Dream-King Freyr could help.
While on the move, they fight off soldiers of nightmares, who are born from the fears of mortals and take on the forms of Heroes. Sharena also speaks with Peony about possibly having met before somewhere in the distant past. Peony responds that it might have been in a dream, and the two smile at one another, since they are quite similar and it appears they will get along well.
There a girl appears with black wings fluttering. She turns out to be Triandra, the Nightmare. As a dökkálfr from the realm of dark dreams, she is giving mortals nightmares under her liege's orders. Alfonse and the others confront Triandra when she tries to erase (In JP, the word for "erase"/"extinguish" is frequently used in place of "kill" when pertaining to the álfar) Peony. Triandra withdraws after being put at a disadvantage, stating that she won't give up.
Peony leads the group to a location with a large bed(s). Sleeping in a dream is the way to gain an audience with the Dream-King, so Sharena and Anna fall asleep. Before following their lead, Alfonse notices that he can't remember his childhood very well. Though that disquiets him, he nevertheless trusts Peony and closes his eyes. Peony is overjoyed at their faith in her as she watches them.
(In the ENG version, Sharena mentions that there are "many" beds, but the JP version doesn't make any indication of their number. Due to the fact that this art book previously mentions THREE adults being able to fit on one, it's possible that Alfonse, Sharena, and Anna all slept on it at the same time and that there is only one. However, the possibility that there are multiple of them remains open)
Chapter 3: Gullinkambi (JP: Horn of Gullinkambi) Alfonse and the others arrive in the realm of fantasy, the dream within the dream, by Peony's invitation. There stands Dream-King Freyr, who gives Alfonse the horn Gullinkambi. By remembering one's self from before falling asleep, wishing to return to the waking world, and blowing the horn, Alfonse and his party, along with the wheat country village's residents, can awaken. However, Freyr continues, stating that they must first drive back the two dökkálfar who have invaded Ljósálfheimr and are showing mortals nightmares. While offering his thanks, Alfonse asks about Kiran's whereabouts. However, even though he should know everything about the dream world, Freyr does not know where Kiran is, them being one who exists outside of the world's reason. He advises them that should they blow the horn, Kiran will also awaken. Thus, the party wakes up from the dream within the dream in order to begin their march and fight the dökkálfar.
The group traverses the dream realm following Peony's lead. Suddenly, Kiran appears before them. Though Alfonse and the others are relieved to see them, they halt in their tracks upon spotting who was next to them. "I am Plumeria, the dökkálfr of lewd dreams." (Again from ENG script)
Plumeria attacks the group along with nightmare soldiers that take the forms of Heroes from "Genealogy of the Holy War". Alfonse and the others fight them off, but Kiran also withdraws as if accompanying Plumeria. Peony states that this is because Kiran has been trapped by the dökkálfar's nightmares. Alfonse clenches his fist tightly, swearing to get Kiran back.
Chapter 4: On Dark Wings (JP: The Fluttering of Black Wings) The two dökkálfar show nightmares to mortals in Ljósálfheimr under their liege Freyja's orders. While Plumeria makes her disdain towards humans known, Triandra shows signs of concern towards Peony, who is her opposite in role.
The party continues traveling across Ljósálfheimr by following Peony's slightly dubious directions in pursuit of the dökkálfar. Anna and Alfonse can't wrap their heads around the actions they take in the dream world that would be illogical in reality. Suddenly, Sharena's gaze falls on a certain field of flowers. She says she remembers playing with girls her age in a flower field in a dream. She also remembers there being a girl similar to Peony, but Peony herself doesn't seem to recall this.
The party arrives at the Dream Gate, where the dökkálfar along with soldiers of nightmares lie in wait. They take up their weapons and repel the dökkálfar, after which Peony prompts Alfonse to blow the horn. Then, a crestfallen Peony bids them farewell, stating that they will forget about álfar like her, but that she will always watch over them, and she gives them a smile. Alfonse and the others close their eyes, trusting that they will meet again in a dream someday.
As the sound of the horn reaches Freyr's ears, his sister Freyja appears before him. Her true objective is to take her brother to Dökkálfheimr, over which she rules, while he is defenseless after handing off the horn. Were the Dream-King to leave Ljósálfheimr, order would be disrupted and nightmares would begin to flow into the mortal world and become reality. Freyja burns with jealousy upon witnessing her brother worry over the humans. Thinking to recompense them for stealing her brother's heart, her smile widens.
Chapter 5: Twisted Reality (JP: Distorting World) Alfonse wakes up to the smell of incense. Apparently, contrary to how much time they'd perceived, only a moment has passed in reality. While the other members of the Order confirm that everyone is fine, Alfonse notices that Kiran is missing. But strangely, Sharena and Anna cock their heads when he says Kiran's name. "The summoner of legend was called Kiran, right?" (ENG)
Alfonse is shocked when it doesn't appear to be in jest, based on Anna's tone of voice. Just then, an earth-splitting laugh rings out. The party prepares for combat, only to find that there stood Surtr, the king of Múspell who should've in the past been defeated. Though shocked, Alfonse faces off against Surtr, who ends up vanishing like the Zacharias and Veronica from in the dream. As the villagers awaken, unidentified troops are reported to have appeared in various places. Alfonse heightens his vigilance, suspecting that nightmares are manifesting in reality, as the group moves to eliminate those forces.
Though Sharena really can't remember Kiran, her gaze wavers from a profound sadness welling up inside. Alfonse cheers up his sister by swearing to do something about the situation. If nightmares can be defeated in the dream, they can be defeated in reality... Under this presumption, the Order marches on and discovers Peony being attacked. After rescuing her, she successfully uses her power to make Sharena and the others recall their lost memories. Then, Peony informs them that nightmares have been able to flood into the real world because Freyr has been taken to Dökkálfheimr, the nightmare realm.
Chapter 6: Dreaming Reality (JP: Dreams in Reality, Reality in Dreams) According to Peony, Freyr's sister Freyja is in Dökkálfheimr, and because they are in the same place simultaneously, the "Waking Dream" is allowing nightmares to spill into reality. In order to put a stop to the Waking Dream, the group searches for a ljósálfr who lives in a misty forest...Mirabilis, the Daydream. On their way to the forest, they encounter the real Veronica. After finding out about the situation and what the Order's objective is, Veronica states that she will come along. She says this is because she heard that her brother, Bruno (Zacharias), and Xander have returned from their travels and are now in the misty forest.
After the party arrives at the forest, they split up in search for Zacharias, Xander, and Mirabilis. Parting ways with Sharena and the others, Alfonse and Veronica venture deep into the forest and find the former two. Veronica smiles upon being reunited with her brother after such a long time apart, but her shoulders slump when she hears that he and Xander must soon leave again. She faintly smiles again when Zacharias invites her to join them, stating that he doesn't want to make her feel lonely anymore. Seeing this, Alfonse asks Zacharias if they could work together to fend off the nightmares. Apprehensively, he agrees, to which Alfonse continues. "...Thank you. As I thought, you aren't really Zacharias. [...] You said something you shouldn't already know." (This quote is a translation of the JP, since I feel the ENG line doesn't fit as nicely in this context)
At this, Zacharias and Xander's attitudes change. After repelling their assault, Veronica declares her cooperation with the Order. She then urges Alfonse to tell her about his memories of being with Zacharias. However, he realizes that he cannot remember anything from long ago for some reason.
Chapter 7: Steeped in Twilight The Order of Heroes realizes the severity of the situation that has befallen them after hearing that nightmares have reportedly been appearing unceasingly across Askr. They head deeper into the forest in search of Mirabilis so they can go to Dökkálfheimr, save Freyr, and eliminate his captors. After the scenery becomes blurry for a moment, Peony searches the surrounding area and happens upon Mirabilis. She rubs her eyes, appearing to be sound asleep. Peony pleads with her, wanting to get to Dökkálfheimr by way of Mirabilis' daydream powers. Just then, Triandra appears, the dökkálfar having also invaded the real world. She creates a nightmare embodiment of Hel, ruler of death. After defeating it, with Mirabilis in tow, the group departs in the direction of the point of twilight, which is close to Dökkálfheimr. Along the way, Sharena is bothered by a feeling that she has also met Mirabilis in a dream in the past. She believes that she, Peony, Mirabilis, and two other girls did something important together.
Eventually, they arrive at the point of twilight. It seems that here, they can cross into the nightmare realm by being given a "particularly scary daydream" by Mirabilis when day gives way to night. However, Triandra attacks them once more. Soldiers of nightmares come at them without end as they are surrounded by the sea with nowhere to run. Veronica calms the others down as they panic, stating that she will handle their pursuers on her own while they go on ahead. The last time they were in the dream world, only a moment passed in reality. Because of this, Alfonse and the others believe they will make it in time, so they close their eyes and make their way to the nightmare realm.
Chapter 8: Wallowing in Love (JP: Drowning in a Dream of Love) The group ventures into Dökkálfheimr. They are quickly met with Plumeria, who mystifies them with a bewitching sweet scent, but they somehow manage to fend off her attack. While in pursuit of a retreating Plumeria, Alfonse hears the voice of a sad young girl. However, he doesn't know whose voice it is, and the group marches on.
After catching the gentle scent of flowers whose fragrance is different from that of Plumeria's nectar smell, Sharena mentions that she remembers it. She claims it's the smell of the flower field in which she played with the other girls in her dreams. She then recalls swapping hairstyles and clothes with one of the girls who greatly resembled her, and even going to each other's homes. Anna is startled, thinking this sounds like a "changeling". As Anna explains how changelings are álfar who switch places with human children, Sharena listens with an absentminded countenance.
Plumeria again stands in the party's way, accompanied by nightmare soldiers modelled after Heroes from the "Awakening Outrealms", as they hurry to Freyr's side. However, the Order emerges victorious once again and goes on ahead. While wounded in her defeat, Plumeria hears the voice of a young girl crying for her mother, which she remembers. There, Freyja appears and grants her strength, healing her. After rising to her feet, Plumeria asks if she was a mortal before Freyja gave her life as an álfr. Freyja's expression clouds over, and she tells Plumeria that her father didn't love her or her mother, so he abandoned them. And because her daughter interfered with her desire to be with another man she loved, Plumeria's mother threw her into the bottom of a well and left her there.
By Freyja's words, Plumeria was a child nobody loved. But now, after drinking the nectar and becoming an álfr, she should just forget about that past. Her voice filled with compassion as she speaks, Freyja gives Plumeria a smile.
Chapter 9: Violent Fantasies (JP: Dream of Killing Someone) (Curiously, the recap begins with the events of Chapter 9 - 3, skipping over the first confrontation with Triandra in this chapter)
The queen of nightmares, Freyja, has abducted her beloved brother Freyr to her realm. With an ecstatic expression, Freyja declares that they shall fill the mortal world with their dreams. Freyr is dismayed, lamenting that Freyja originally didn't wish for the destruction of humans and that the two of them have already succumbed to ruin. He regrets turning human girls into álfar in order to drive back the disaster that befell the dream world in the past, when mortals gave up their dreams. Burning with jealousy over his constant concern for mortals, Freyja clenches a certain necklace.
Alfonse and the others rush to rescue Freyr, defeating Triandra, who stands in their way. As she stands up, saying that she can't yet afford to disappear (In a similar vein to what was mentioned above, the word for "disappear" is often used instead of "die" when pertaining to the álfar in JP), memories of her mortal past also pile up in her mind. Freyja appears before her, telling her that she and her younger sister were viciously abused by their non-blood related father. To protect her sister, who was in danger of losing her life, Triandra killed their father. Freyja assures her that she is not to fret over this, since she only did what she could. To this, Triandra quietly responds that she is alright.
Alfonse and the others finally reach Freyr. However, he has come under the curse of the necklace Brísingamen, and all of his dream powers have become Freyja's. With both of their powers in her grasp, Freyja has become the ruler over all dreams and is now able to freely control the dream world and bend reality itself to her whim. None are able to oppose her... Helpless against the unrelenting onslaught of Freyja's replicas and nightmare soldiers from all directions, the group falls back. However, the path leading back to Veronica has entirely vanished. "There is no way for you to survive. Taste despair in your attempts to escape." The nightmare queen sneers at them, exceedingly beautiful, (This line was very awkward to translate, I am sorry)
(To my knowledge, the quote used above doesn't actually appear anywhere in the Japanese script. It seems to just be a concise rephrasing of Freyja's dialogue at the end of the chapter)
Chapter 10: Lack (JP: Loss) The Order takes Freyr with them as they continue to flee. According to him, so long as Freyja is the ruler over all dreams, they can neither escape nor subjugate her. Even so, not wanting to give up, the group thinks of a plan. Just then, Freyr begins to tell of his and Freyja's past piece by piece. As a child, Freyja was always crying from being mocked by everyone over having a mark on her face. Freyr would steadfastly comfort his sister, who came to only smile for him. Then, she stated that she wanted to join herself to someone compassionate like Freyr when she grew older. She eventually matured to become beautiful, but didn't accept anyone's affections.
Sharena reassures Freyr along the way, to which Freyr confesses that the dream world once teetered at the brink of ruin. The only ones who could prevent the destruction of the dream world and save the hearts of mortals were children from the real world. But children who partake of dream nectar can no longer return to their world... Because of this, Freyr thought that perhaps if the children were in unfortunate circumstances, they would be happy to become special versions of themselves. He sacrificed innocent children in order to save the world even knowing it was sinful. After this, Freyr falls silent.
Their withdrawal fruitless, Freyja once again corners the Order of Heroes. Though she mocks them over their futile efforts, Freyr states that there is one way for them to escape.
"Freyja's power is the sum of our combined strengths... Therefore, one of us must be shed..." (ENG)
Freyr petitions the Order and offers himself up to them. Discerning his meaning, as Freyr can no longer manage to end his own life due to Freyja's control, Alfonse and the others cut him down.
Freyja cries out as she asks Freyr if mortals really are so precious to him that he would throw his life away for their sake. However, Freyr responds that nothing is more important to him than she is. It is because he loves her that he doesn't want to see her destroy the mortals, which is why he should disappear. Leaving her with those words, Freyr bids his sister farewell.
Freyja wails in sorrow and despair at the loss of her most beloved brother, after which she vanishes to some other location, bringing the dökkálfar with her. Due to Freyr's demise, dreams stop distorting reality. Now, they must wake up and return to their world. To grant Freyr's final wish, and to reunite with the missing Kiran...Alfonse and the others press onward.
Chapter 11: Plumeria's Dream (JP: Plumeria the Lewd Dream) The Order wakes up the the sound of Veronica's voice calling out to them. Just when they begin to relax, thinking everything is back to normal, Freyja appears before them. Chaos unfolds as everyone wonders how that can be, when nightmares shouldn't be able to encroach on reality anymore... The group is once again forced to engage in combat as they retreat. Freyja then tells them about the álfar's past as if to mock them. The álfar were originally human children who played together, who were called to the dream world in order to save it. She also describes how Mirabilis was a child who was abandoned by her mother after she was born. Finally, she tells of how among those children, the only one who didn't become an álfr was Sharena. Enveloped in Freyja's light, Sharena suddenly clutches her head in pain and faints.
After regaining consciousness at a boulder to which the group retreated, Sharena tells Alfonse that she now vividly recalls what happened in the world of dreams. "We wanted to save the world... Only...I stayed behind..." (ENG, but for curiosity's sake, the JP line goes "Only I wasn't able to become a hero...even though we said we'd save the world together...", which I think hits harder)
Sharena profusely apologizes with tears spilling from her eyes, saying that she might not really be Alfonse's sister. That she would play changelings with a girl who looked just like her, and that they would genuinely trade places upon waking. That she has memories of the small, run-down house in which the girl she'd exchange places with lived. That she might just be an ordinary child who swapped places with Princess Sharena in the dream world. And that as a consequence, the real Princess Sharena wasn't able to return home... Sharena appears discomposed as she suddenly recalls so many memories. Alfonse soothes her, saying that her memories of that house must have come from when she'd wake up as the other child.
Desiring to have them suffer like her after losing her brother, Freyja sends Plumeria after the group so the álfar will be made to kill each other. Plumeria follows her commands without saying a word and stands in the way of Alfonse and the others. She attacks them while looking like she is in tears...saying that she doesn't need reality, and that she wants to be in a dream forever. The party cannot hope to survive without fighting back so long as she continues to target them. Thus Alfonse and the others deal the final blow against Plumeria through their heartbreak. She grasps at the air and cries out for her mother over and over again like a small child as her body disintegrates. (I already felt really bad playing this story chapter in-game, but having this description makes it even worse...ow, my heart)
Even with Plumeria's defeat, the nightmares' assault does not relent. How can this be, when the Waking Dream shouldn't be able to occur with King Freyr dead? After assessing and reflecting on the situation one more time, Alfonse finally formulates an answer. "This has all been a dream... From the very beginning... Everything. All of it." (ENG)
They have been in a dream since the time they heard about the sleep sickness from Queen Henriette. If this is a dream, they should be able to return to reality this time if they blow the horn Gullinkambi in front of the Dream Gate. Alfonse marches on determinedly.
The Order takes a rest on the way to the Dream Gate. At their base, Anna reports to Alfonse about Sharena's condition after having stayed with her for a while. Afterwards, she begins to make small talk about a dream she had a little while ago about being a squirrel. She comments on how strange it is that she was convinced she was a squirrel in the dream, even though she isn't one... At this, Alfonse feels as though he is catching onto something.
Chapter 12: Triandra's Dream (JP: Triandra the Nightmare) Alfonse witnesses a daydream during the group's respite. A dream of the World of Steel, with towers stretching up high enough to pierce the skies. Peony calls it a grey world where people have forgotten how to dream. To make the álfar kill each other, Freyja sends out Triandra again. However, Freyja ponders why Plumeria and Triandra obey her orders without regard for how they are effectively being used and discarded. She asks Triandra why they would go so far as to throw their lives away in service to her. Triandra responds that she and Plumeria adore her, and that perhaps it is because mortals want to help those they care about even if they get nothing in return. Freyja shakes her head at this, being a god who doesn't understand this sentiment. She watches with a conflicted look in her eyes as Triandra departs.
Alfonse and the others fend off the advancing nightmares on their way to the Dream Gate. They are met with Triandra standing in their path, and upon seeing her, Peony's expression changes. Triandra speaks of how she could not forgive herself for being powerless to protect her younger sister as a mortal. Her dream was to obtain the power she desired in order to strike down those who would do evil. After she loses against the Order and collapses to the ground, having lost her power, she gazes at Peony and apologizes to her.
"Forgive me... I wanted to keep you safe just...a while longer..." (ENG) "...S-sister..." (ENG)
As Peony's words sorrowfully fall from her lips, Triandra's body disintegrates.
Led by Mirabilis, the group arrives before the Dream Gate at last. Following Freyr's instructions to "[p]icture the world outside the dream, and wish to return," (ENG) Alfonse sounds the horn, but for some reason, nothing happens. Alfonse goes over his thoughts once more, trying to figure out if there is something wrong with his thought process. Then, he remembers what Anna said a little while earlier. "If what I suspect is true...then the life I remember before the dream...is not my life at all..." (ENG)
Just then, Kiran appears before the Order. Alfonse is elated upon their reunion, but Kiran appears to be under the control of nightmares. With the help of Veronica and the others, he manages to render Kiran unconscious without killing them. By Peony's suggestion, they remove the hood that conceals their face. Under the hood of the collapsed Kiran...was unmistakably Alfonse's face.
Alfonse's suspicion is then confirmed. The reason why he couldn't recall his memories with Zacharias, and why he dreamed about the World of Steel, is because his past with Zacharias doesn't exist and the World of Steel is where he truly hails from.
"I am not Alfonse. [...] My name...is Kiran!" (ENG)
When they remember their true self, Freyja appears and tells them that they are having this dream because they wished for it. That Alfaðör, creator of all things, decided that Alfonse should no longer exist after he defeated Hel, sovereign of death. The Creator's will always comes to pass, and thus the real Alfonse is dead, so Freyja says.
Chapter 13: Reality Freyja continues, saying that Kiran gave form to this world and took on Alfonse's role out of grief over his loss. She claims that because Kiran is one who exists outside of the world's reason, if they combine efforts with Freyja, they could make the dream persist forever and have all their wishes come true. However, she declares that should Kiran choose reality, they will wake up in a world without Alfonse, and that she will use her power to take the lives of all of the álfar. With that, she disappears.
Peony states that because Freyja's nightmare powers still cover the area, they will be unable to use the horn. Even the álfar do not know if Freyja's pronouncement of Alfonse's death is the truth or a lie. A painful reality may await them... Holding onto that sense of unease, Kiran and the others head in Freyja's direction.
"Peony... My best friend, who I played with in the flower garden... That was you, wasn't it?" (ENG)
Sharena speaks with Peony, positing that Peony had switched places with her and drank her share of nectar because she knew there would be no going back to being human. Even so, Peony smiles, saying that making people happy was her own happiness. That neither of them know who was who originally, and that they are both each other, like two halves of a whole. If they defeat Freyja and return to reality, Peony and the other álfar will in turn be erased and the Order will forget about the dream. Sharena sobs over not wanting to lose a friend again. At this, Peony gives her a ring made of flowers. (It's a "chain" in ENG, but in JP it's described as a "指輪", as in a ring you put on your finger)
"[Even] if we do forget, that does not undo everything that's happened. [...] But if...if there's some way you can remember me, then maybe we can meet again someday, somehow..." (ENG)
Sharena and Peony join hands and nestle up close to one another as if in prayer.
On the other hand, Freyja's heart is swayed by emotions she cannot comprehend. Unconsciously, she begins to speak to Triandra and Plumeria, but both of them have disappeared in carrying out her orders. Though she insists that only her brother matters to her, as though trying to convince herself of it, her expression gradually clouds over. Kiran and the others eventually reach Freyja, and after defeating nightmare soldiers that appear one after another, Freyja herself finally falls as well. She disappears, leaving them with the proclamation that she will use all of her remaining power to erase everything about the álfar from existence.
The end of the dream draws near. The sound of the horn reverberates through the dream world. As she expresses her gratitude, Peony's form grows faint.
Kiran awakens to a voice calling their name, which turns out to be Alfonse's. He tells them that they, along with everyone else, had fallen asleep for three days and nights. Sharena seems to not remember anything and smiles as though nothing had happened. However, during their mission, Sharena discovers that she is wearing a flower ring on her hand. She is perplexed by this and clutches her chest, suddenly feeling like her heart is being torn apart. Then, someone claiming to be Sharena's childhood friend comes for a visit. Upon laying eyes on the person in question, her eyes tear up.
"Good morning, everyone! I'm Peony! I'm a ljósálfr—or light elf, you might say. I'm from the land of dreams, Ljósálfheimr." (ENG)
In Dökkálfheimr, Triandra and Plumeria, who should have disappeared, open their eyes. Before them stands Freyja, who tells them that they have no need to obey her any longer. Freyja's life fades away, having lost most of her power in reviving Triandra and Plumeria instead of erasing the álfar. She herself doesn't know why she did so even though she doesn't love anyone except her brother. In spite of this, she gave up her life for the sake of others, just like her brother had laid down his life for the mortals he so loved. Triandra and Plumeria vow to find a way to revive Freyja. The children weep as they grasp Freyja's hands, to which Freyja says that she truly cannot understand. Even so, she responds that she is happy and smiles gently.
And thus concludes the story of Book IV, neatly summarized as presented in the art book. I apologize for any inaccuracies in my translations and any confusion they might cause. This was an intensive passion project born from my love for Book IV, and I hope those who took the time to read this very long post found some enjoyment out of it. I would love to hear your thoughts, so please do share them if you so wish! I very much enjoy discussion about everything Book IV. Also let me know if there is any other material you'd like for me to translate, and I might make an attempt in the future. Thank you for reading!

Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.

Im a 26 year old. I’m a Scorpio, if you’re curious about that. I have dark hair, brown eyes, some freckles, and i’m petit(1,58- 5’2). I don’t like people that don’t know how to have and keep a good conversation and that don’t know how to explain their point of views in conversations about things. I love traveling an meeting new places and new traditions, it just makes me feel like a new person every time .
I’m very friendly, open-minded, and i enjoy to learning about people i’m around and i love listening to their stories . My other interests have something to do with nature, draw, animals, history/culture, reading, crocheting, building things…
I don’t have any high expectations of this. I am okay with talking to you and just being friends.

This story took place between 2022-23. It is long but there is a backstory that is pertinent to the information. All names are fake.
So I (27 F) was friends with Amy (29F) for six years. We met when we worked at the same place. We had been through a lot together as friends in that six years including breakups, deaths, divorce and significant friend group changes. Amy was married when we first met but ended up getting divorced. We live in Town A which is almost dead center between two other towns, Town B 45 minutes south and Town C being about and hour north. This is important for later on.
When Amy and her now ex-husband separated with the divorce pending she started dating that same summer (2021) they were not officially divorced until early 2022. In July of 2021 Amy met Xander (34M), and they started dating that month. Xander and I got to know each other more as their relationship progressed and I really liked him. In Fall of 2021 I found out that I was pregnant which was exciting as I had had a miscarriage not long before. Amy and Xander were both very happy for us. I was due in summer of 2022 just a few day after my own birthday. Fast forward to May of 2022 (I am now about 6.5 months pregnant). Xander contacts me privately and says he his planning on proposing to Amy on their one year anniversary and asked me for help with the ring. I was excited for the two of them and immediately said yes I was happy to help! He asked if I could come with him to go ring shopping as I knew what she liked/wanted and had access to her Pinterest. We set up a day and I waddled around three different jewelry stores with him helping him pick out the ring. Prior to his and my appointment I took my friend out and had her casually walk around and look at rings and had the salesperson get me pictures as covertly as they could. We ended up picking out a gorgeous ring and I kept it hidden at my house until he was ready to propose.
My baby shower was set for July the day BEFORE their one year anniversary and when he was planning on proposing . Now I did NOT pick this date. Amy and my mother did as they planned the entire thing. I wasn't even told the theme until I saw the invitations. I wanted it this way as I had a rough pregnancy and was tired and sick a lot of the time. Amy asked me for a guest list with contact information for these people and that was the extent of my contributions. The week of my baby shower I kept trying to get Amy to come with me to get her nails done and she would just refuse so without spoiling the surprise I let it go. I show up to my baby shower to see MAYBE 8 people. I was hurt but figured it was summer and a lot of people may have already had vacations planned so while I was sad I was grateful for who came and got us gifts. I found out later that this was not the case.
The proposal happens the next day and she says yes and the planning begins immediately. About 2 weeks later I am about a month away from my due date and Amy lets me know that her and Xander have picked a date. May of 2023, barely ten months later. I was a little shocked because that isn't a lot of time to plan a wedding and I was about to have a baby. I let her know that I will do what I can to help her plan and be there for her but that wasn't a lot of time to plan (or pay!) for all the things and I will need her to be gracious with me as I learn how to be a new mom. She said she totally understood and would also do what she could to support me and baby. She asked me to be her MOH and I accepted with the conditions that she understand that a lot of the maid of honor things I may not be able to do simply because of how quickly she was getting married and the baby's imminent arrival. Again, she said she totally understood and just wanted me to be a part of the wedding as much as I was able to be. She also said she totally expects baby to be at the wedding and is already thinking of how to accommodate for baby's presence there. That made me feel good and confident that this would all work out.
I ended up having my baby almost a month to the day later however it was an emergency c-section. It was not the beautiful happy moment that most people imagine as I almost died. I don't even remember holding my baby for the first time. The most prevalent memory I have is fighting to open my eyes and stay conscious and hearing the doctor ask my husband if we had talked about choosing between me and baby... (Everyone came out on the other side alive and healthy, thank goodness!). Amy and Xander came to visit us in the hospital after the birth and at this point had not been given full details of everything. When they showed up my husband let Amy hold the baby and gave them the run down of what had happened. All I got was a "Oh my gosh!" and then Amy went straight into talking about wedding plans... I should have said something then but was honestly just too tired.
Things begin to happen a little faster now. Baby and I had a rough time and had to go back into the hospital after being born. We only had to stay one night but when she was informed all we got in return was a "Oh no. I'm sorry." Now I didn't expect her to do something spectacular but it honestly felt like it just didn't matter to her. A few months go by and wedding planning is still happening. They selected their venue which was just past Town B. I called and made her a dress appointment the following January/February as well as started looking around for makeup artists for her as she doesn't typically wear makeup ever and I wear it regularly. There is a wedding dress shop that was right up her alley style wise located in Town B where Amy worked. I had a Saturday appointment set for her and I to go and take a look around. That week (like Monday or Tuesday) I found out that she goes to the shop ALONE and ends up finding her wedding dress. I was again shocked but told her, from the pictures she sent after she had already bought it. That the dress looked amazing. I expressed that I was upset that she went alone but glad she got such a good deal on it (think $2k dress on sale for $800).
She asked me last minute to go to floral shops with her on day and thankfully my husband was home that day and able to watch the baby. I agreed and we ended up driving to every single florist in town only to be turned away by all but one because she didn't make an appointment and the person she needed to talk with for wedding arrangements was unavailable at the time. By the end of that adventure she told me how upset she was that she had only been able to get one quote. I was blunt with her and said that she should have made an appointment or at least called ahead to see if anyone was available. She said that typically the MOH (i.e. me) sets up those appointment. I was annoyed and had a little heart to heart with her and said "I understand that but the last appointment I made for you, you ignored. I also am having a really hard time right now. If you need to pick someone else to take on the MOH duties I totally understand and there will be no hard feelings. I will even still give a speech if you would like me to." She said it was fine and she wanted me to be MOH still. We also had planned on going to a bridal expo the following weekend and I reminded her that most of those people would be there as well as others. She was placated by this it seemed and we ended up going to the bridal expo with her two other bridesmaids.
Now I had met these two other women ONCE. They were friends with her fiancé and she had only met them 3-6 months prior. While they were not mean or rude to me they certainly weren't welcoming. I kept getting comments like "well you are the one with a kid" or "I'm glad you didn't have to bring the baby". It rubbed me the wrong way but again I didn't say anything because it isn't about me right now. Amy ended up booking no one at the expo but did sign up to have a jewelry party. I ended up being unable to attend because I was having a really rough time and my kid was still not sleeping through the night at the time and my husband and I were having a really bad argument. I do admit I should have told her about what was going on and I can see how it hurt her that I didn't tell her but I was in the thick of it, sleep deprived and struggling with post partum depression. I did end up apologizing to her.
The next issue was the makeup trial. I told her specifically beforehand that she will more than likely have to try a few different artists because each has their own unique style and since she doesn't ever wear makeup they will all probably feel strange to her. I did have her look over the photos of the makeup artists that I think she would like and have her put in order the ones she wanted to try. After the appointment she told me that she felt like she looked like "a tranny" and hated the artist I picked. Again I was annoyed and told her that I was doing the best I could and this was difficult because she does not wear make up and there isn't much else I can do other than look online and message some people.
Now the bach trip became the next problem. A group chat was made to include myself and the other two bridesmaids. Amy is not one to go out and drink (she doesn't even drink at home) so I explained to the bridesmaids that I think a fancy dinner would be perfect. We could find other things to add to it like a theater show or something like that. We selected a theater show and a really fancy restaurant that I know Amy would love dates hadn't been decided yet because we had to nail down some details still. They agreed but when it came down to the actual planning things got really quite and I never got a reply. I didn't want to tell Amy either because she was already upset with me over the makeup artist trial I had set up for her.
At this point I am getting burnt out between her, the baby, and all the other issues going on that she was FULLY aware of (I had been fired from my job the day before Christmas Eve so now finances had become difficult). I told her again that I was struggling with everything and would understand if she wanted someone else to act as MOH as I was still just doing the best I could but it didn't seem like it was enough. Again she told me she understood.
The next big issue was the bridesmaid dresses. A couple days before the appointment both me and my kid ended up getting sick. I let her know that we would be unable to go. She asked me if I was sure and that other people would be there to help me with the baby included her soon to be SIL and one of her bridesmaids moms... I told her "I am not driving my sick baby to a different town to have absolute strangers hold him just to try on dresses. Especially during flu season." She said "Okay well I guess I will send you some pictures of what we pick." I told her fine and that was it. I should note that the bridal shop she selected was in Town B so I would have to take my baby all the way down there. I didn't get pictures till the next day. The dresses had been selected and all I had to do was get a dress that was the color assigned to me. I selected several that I liked that were within my budget and sent them to her. She nitpicks all of them and says my tattoo will be visible in all of them. Again, color me shocked. Up until this point she had NEVER mentioned my tattoo (on on left side of my chest and partially on my shoulder) being an issue. I vented to my husband and he helped me calm down and said while he thinks it is strange that she is suddenly against my tattoo when hers are visible in her wedding dress I should at least try to see if there were some styles of dress that I liked that met her criteria.
I ended up buying one of those multiway dresses that you can change the style of the top so that we could find out that worked for us both. It was in this god awful lilac tone that looked awful on my skin tone but not my wedding not my choice. She came over that weekend after it arrived to look at it. I hadn't even shown it to her when the subject of me being MOH comes up again and I told her the same thing as before, that I was struggling but doing my best and it wouldn't hurt my feelings if she felt like she needed to pick someone else to do the things she was expecting of me. Girl RAN out of my house crying when I said this. I looked at my husband like "WFT just happened?" as, again not the first time we have had this conversation. We didn't talk for almost a week (not normal for us) until i asked her to come over and talk so we could figure out what was going on. She shows up and starts going in on me saying how everyone else who is engaged is getting all of these trips and gifts and she isn't. How this should be so much more fun for her and it isn't. How she isn't happy that I am not doing all the MOH stuff that I should and she understands that I have a baby but she just isn't happy. She said that since the baby showed up everything is different and I never have time for her. She said "I had to get my wedding dress all alone! Yippee for me!" and now I am ANGRY.
I snapped and told reminder her that SHE chose to go in on her own after work and try things on. That we had an appointment set up and she just ignored it. I also reminded her that I asked for grace while I figured out how to be a new mom as she was the one who decided to get married within less than a year. That she was the one who went around to placed WITHOUT appointments and expected everyone to drop things for her. I also warned her to watch her mouth when it came to my baby because I had gotten pregnant before she was engaged and let her know before the baby was here that things would be different since I was now responsible for a whole as human. We had a heated argument but eventually came to an agreement that I would still be MOH just without the duties (i.e. I would be giving a speech and walking down the aisle as MOH and on the website as MOH but nothing outside of that now). I told her that I was planning on getting just her and I appointments to get out nails done before the wedding as a present for her and some much needed one on one time for us. She said that sounds amazing and she would love to do that. I gave her the tentative date I was thinking and she agreed. I thought things were, while a little tense, on the mend.
Fast forward and I see photos of her and the bridesmaids, her future SIL and some other woman at her bachelorette party. I had apparently been uninvited and not told. I was EXTREMELY hurt by this. The following weekend I see MORE pictures of her at a DIFFERENT Bach party that her coworker threw for her. I ended up checking her website (as I did periodically) and what do you know? I had been removed ENTIRELY. Now, while I understand that I had signed off on giving up my MOH duties, my understanding was that I was still MOH. I see her future SIL is now listed as MOH. I show my husband and he is also confused as he was home when her and I had our heart to heart. I message her the next day and asked if we could go get coffee and talk. She took awhile to respond but eventually did.
Since this story is so long I will try to summarize as best I can. It started with me gently confronting her about how I saw the website and I thought it was a bit rude that she didn't just tell me that she was replacing me in all aspects and not the ones we had talked about. She said she understood and should have told me before doing anything. I told her that in all honesty I didn't believe her because she had repeatedly told me that she understood things but her actions showed otherwise. I then brought up the bach party and how I wasn't even told anything and she said NOTHING. I explained how it made me feel and asked how she didn't notice I wasn't there and why she hadn't reached out to see where I was? So it was either she didn't care that I wasn't there OR she was made aware that I wasn't there which meant her new "friends" had lied to her OR she had asked them not to invite me. Again she said NOTHING. When she did respond it was a string of "I'm sorry" and "I wanted you there". We talked about it some more but honestly I felt like shit and just didn't care anymore. I told her that we would need to work on things because this was ridiculous and I was seeing a pattern now (including before her wedding/engagement). She said that she agrees and wants to work on things.
We left it at that and a week later I messaged her to ask her what type of manicure she wanted so I could let the salon know. She then informs me that she already had an appointment with the other bridesmaids for the SAME DAY that her and I had agreed on... I snapped. I responded with "Okay" and ignored her for the rest of the week. The day before the wedding she sent me a message asking if I was still coming. I did not respond. I understand that I should have said something and how my silence probably hurt her but I was just so done. So AITA for not going to her wedding?
**Edit: I forgot to include the baby shower guest list! She kept asking me if anyone had RSVP'd yet which I thought was weird since it was HER number on the invites (from what I could see of the sample invite my mother showed me). I later found out that she had been in charge of the invites and apparently didn't send most of them out or follow up with people. The 8 people who were there were the people who my mother invited personally.

M 19, This is my deepest secret I never told anyone around me about it. I think I've been addicted to porn since I was a child, like 4-6 years old. I watched many soft core porn videos on YouTube (there were so much of that stuff back then) on my mom's phone. AND I GOT BONER, but I don't know anything about why it got better. I even asked my mom why my PP sometimes gets harder, and she said with an angry tone "Are you watching or thinking about women?" I'm scared of my mom, so I just lie about it. One time I got caught, and it showed up in her phone's YouTube history. She then asked me if it was me who watched it or not, and again, I just lied. After that, my mom rarely gives me her device anymore.
Skip to when I was in 6th or 7th grade, my parents gave me a phone. At that time, I knew about porn, but it's really disgusting for me to see someone dick for the first time . I just loved to see naked woman video porn at that time. When I was alone, I watched it for hours, but not fapping. One of my friends told me if I "shake" my PP, it would feel really good, so I did it, but I couldn't grab my dick with my hand because it was so small and not grown yet. I just used my thumb and index finger to jerk off. It was my first ejaculation, but I think it was not sperm because it was so clear and watery, but it was still slippery. After that, this addiction started...
When I was in 8th grade, this addiction was so bad. At this time, I have a sleeping problem. I'm always thinking about sex or naughty things before sleep to get me sleep. If I don't do it I can't sleep. Because of this, I have a really dirty mind. I literally fap and watch porn once a day every week, and it always comes out with clear, watery, slippery content. There is a time when I don't fap, but it usually lasts 1 week. This habit continued in high school but in high schools the actual sperm are come out when i ejaculate not clear watery anymore, I got a new fetish like **SM, and I started looking at women as property or objects.
Now that I'm finished high school and have a full-time offline job, my habit still continues today, and I sometimes fantasize about naughty things to woman coworkers around me.I'm still fantasizing about naughty things before sleep. When I'm in my room alone, I always have an urge to fap and I do it. I watch porn for hours sometimes if I have a I have a day off and I don't have anything to do. I literally watch porn and fap all day. I do edging so it lasts really longer.But now I can't get enough of just one cum. I do like at least two cum at this time, sometimes five times in a single session, and after waking up, my hand always gets hurt.More things that I'm concerned about are when I feel sleepy and urge at the same time to just fap even when I'm feeling really sleepy. That things disrupts my sleep cycle. I always feel sleepy when I go to the office in the morning, and so many times I think I will die because I feel very sleepy while riding a motorcycle (the distance between my house and office is 40 minutes).
There is a time when my PP hurts after I cum, but the next day, I'm still doing it.
There are so many times I'm trying to stop, but it never works.I'm deleting all of my prn collection, but when I feel the urge, I'm trying to find all of them again. On my phone, I think 70% of them were porn :( Sometimes because feeling so hory i buy OF content with price that is enough to feed me for one whole week :( . After i c*m im regrets doing that. This cycle always repeating for me :(
Note: I just moved to another town to work and study, so I don't really have any friends, and I'm scared to make one because I think I have low self-esteem and am an am an introvert. Maybe after I go to college this August, I will have a few of them.
I never really go out much because dont have any friends, i only go out when going to work. All of my coworkers are 26+ years old, so I feel like I can't get along with them.
Thanks for reading my life story. Sorry if there is a mistake in my English.
Do you guys have any advice for my situation right now?
Is it normal to get boner when seeing women when still a kid?

It's been a bit since I've posted a promo for my fic, so hopefully it isn't too annoying to see a new one! Summer of Recovery tells the story of the summer after the battle as the first part of a very long series- Happier Every Day- that will span pretty much from the battle to the epilogue. The summer has been full of ups and downs for Harry and Ginny as they've tried to navigate grief, loss, and love, but now they have a plan for the future (which I won't spoil just yet for anyone who's new to the story) and are ready to continue moving on with their lives past the summer.
One of the big things standing in their way is the Wizengamot, which has heard parts of the story of Voldemort's return, reign, and defeat and decided they want the full story. Harry is summoned to tell his side of the story, but there's a lot of things he's really not sure how he can talk about without either being viewed as a freak or being sent to prison. However things play out, it's certainly going to be a memorable day in both his and Ginny's lives forever, and it all goes down in Chapter 26 of SoR- Proud.
The fic is available on SIYE, Ao3, and FFN, and there's just a few chapters left before the end of SoR and the beginning of Book 2! Hope you all check it out and enjoy! I really put my all into every chapter and it'll always excite me to know that people are enjoying my work, so thank you to everyone who's read it so far too!

Hello everyone!
I'm looking for friends (22 and up preferably) to chat with and game with potentially. I'd love to talk about things that interests you or anything that comes to mind! Sharing funny stories, talking about games or movies or hobbies, friends or people in each other's lives, whatever is on your mind.
About me: I'm 26. I'm into some outdoor activities like climbing, cycling, hiking, etc. I like fashion and dressing well. I'm also still very much a homebody; I love gaming and watching movies. I like to dip my toes into various hobbies just to try new things and find fun. I have a cat that deeply adore. I also like cars/motorcycles and learning about them, but I wouldn't say I'm a car guy. One of my "guilty pleasures" is scrolling through Facebook marketplace for fun or for things I'd actually buy. I work for my small, yet successful family business. I'm also a night owl and tend to be up chatting or gaming at night so that would be good times to catch me. I am told and think of myself as funny and smart. I hope that isn't too vain.
If you're interested in being friends and talking about anything fun or silly or spooky or whatever shoot me a chat message. Maybe we can exchange discords and do the same chatting there.

Imagery. Derived not from visuals but bursting into life with every flick of the eye across words. Proses blue, pink and purple, with love and danger and challenge infused in the lettering. Heroics and braver romances, quests and daring ambitions abound, there's nothing that I enjoy more than a beautifully crafted story.
Greetings!
I am a 26 year old woman with an obsessive need to imagine, create, write and repeat. I have been seeking for inspiration to sit down and write for fsr too long, to bring those beautiful musings to pen and paper, or in this case, the screen, and nothing can be more motivating than a roleplay.
What do I offer? - A whole wide world of ideas, plots, imaginations, the scope to ramble, the freedom to toss ideas into the dark and hope the arrows catch something. I offer all creative liberties and am a huge nuisance to my characters, they never catch a break lol.

• Novella length replies. I average 1000+ words per reply and can write more or less depening upon s ene and context. I am all about visual imagery and am a fan of character centric writing. I never leave a post bland and only skimming the waters.
  
• Multiple replies a week. I get busy sometimes but please know I'll be back.
  
• Ghost friendly only and only if we haven't developed plot. Of I spend 3 hrs brainstorming and creating a proper plot only to be left screaming into the void, I would rather block.
  
• I write both M and F characters, but I will encourage doubling. For the love of God, please pay equal attention to both couples.
  
• A nice server for the two of us.
  

What I require in a partner? - Creativity. Join me in my ramblings and in my need to torture our characters. Let's collaborate and create, so what we have becomes a beautiful world full of twists and turns. I am a lover of world building, please join me in my enthusiasm for it.

• Romances. Angst. Fluffy. Dark. Obsessive. Toxic. Mutually destructive and codependent. Give me all of them.
  
• Be adv literate/novella. I will require a writing sample. Paragraphing and punctuation are deal breakers for me, please have them done.
  
• Play multiple characters. I love doubling, so I am happiest if we have 2 main stories going on in the same world, its a wonderful way to expand upon the world we are working on.
  

Basic Plot ideas - High fantasy conflict/political, wars - Regency Romances (yes, I mean Bridgerton) - Cyberpunk rebellions - Model x designer (obsessive artist trope) - Upside down
Canon characters that I am looking for: - Draco Malfoy - Anthony Bridgerton

https://bgodinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/1717771024.png

Unlocking the True Meaning of Success in Life

Do you ever catch yourself wondering what true success really looks like? We hear about it all the time—more money, better jobs, bigger homes—but is that really what life’s about? Growing up, I believed success was determined solely by material gains, until an unexpected encounter changed my perspective entirely.

Redefining Success Based on God’s Standards

When Jesus asked, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Matthew 16:26, NIV), it completely redefined the meaning of success for me. Instead of chasing after worldly achievements, I started to look deeper into what it meant to truly live a successful life in God’s eyes.

A: Attitude That Reflects Christ

Success doesn’t start with acquiring things; it starts with an attitude that aligns with Christ’s teachings. In Philippians 2:5, we are urged to have “the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”
– Exhibit humility and kindness in every interaction. – Demonstrate unwavering faith amidst adversity. – Cultivate a grateful heart regardless of your circumstances.
Have you noticed how a simple change in attitude can transform your entire day? Let your mindset be your starting point for achieving genuine success.

B: Building Relationships Rooted in Love

One of the keys to a successful life is building and nurturing relationships. In John 13:34-35, Jesus commands us to love one another.
1. Cherish your family and make time for them. 2. Invest in friendships that lift you up spiritually and emotionally. 3. Extend love and compassion to neighbors and strangers alike.
Reflect on this: How can you bring love and grace into your relationships today?

C: Committing Your Plans to the Lord

Proverbs 16:3 elevates our goals by reminding us, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
– Pray over your dreams and ambitions. – Seek God’s guidance in all your decisions. – Trust that He will direct your path.
Take a moment to consider: Are your goals aligned with God’s purpose for you?

D: Diligence and Perseverance

Diligence and perseverance are indispensable for achieving a successful life, as highlighted in Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
– Stay committed to your responsibilities. – Persevere through trials with unwavering faith. – Celebrate small victories along the journey.
Ask yourself: How can you demonstrate more diligence and perseverance in your life today?

Reflect and Share

Success in life isn’t about reaching the pinnacle of wealth or fame; it’s about seeking a Christ-like attitude, investing in loving relationships, committing your plans to the Lord, and persevering diligently.

Call to Action

Reflect on areas in your life where you can redefine success according to God’s standards. Share your thoughts, experiences, and stories in the comments below. Let’s encourage and uplift one another in our journeys towards true success.
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By adhering to these guidelines and incorporating uplifting scripture, this devotional aims to help readers redefine success in a meaningful, Christ-centered way. Engage with these reflections and let the conversation inspire greater growth in faith and community.
If you like this content, please connect with us at: https://BGodInspired.com
Or dig for more answers yourself with our BGodInspired Bible Tools! Be careful – each interaction is like a new treasure hunt… you can get lost for hours 🙂
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Hello, for the past 2 months I've been talking to a girl from work (we go to the office on different days, so we don't see each other at work). The very first time we spoke she was very open about taking some time off dating and going to therapy, nevertheless through light interaction and hanging out you could tell there was some attraction going on.
She later accepted my invitation to eat out one day just the two of us and we had a fun time, during our dinner she talked about how during one of her trips, one of her friends came on to her very strong and she pushed him back, and told me how she dislikes when men aren't clear about their intentions since she thought he only wanted a friendship. I took this as a signal and when I took her back home I told her I've been thinking a lot about her and wanted to know if we could get to know each other a bit more exclusively. She said she was very confused about me, said she likes me a lot, but feels very conflicted. She asked me to continue the convo via text once I got home so she could put her ideas together and to summarize the convo we had she said she was scared people from the account I work at were putting me up to hit on her (she's dated one guy from my account and ended very badly since the guy only wanted sex).
The next day she apologized for doubting me, how she's working through everything in therapy and how she's afraid of opening emotionally, but at the same time scared of giving up the opportunity to build a stronger connection, I told her I fully supported her and how I fully support her healing journey and that I'm always available to talk about any concerns she may have. A week passed since that convo and we started talking more intimately/openly and I interpreted it as her growing more comfortable with her feelings for me, so I sent her a super light text letting her know I'd like taking her out on a date, I told her there was absolutely no pressure and how I totally understand if she's not ready or comfortable and reassured her I wouldn't change anything if she didn't feel ready yet.
She asked what kind of date, and I gave her a quick rundown for dinner, walk in the park with some scenic views and just sitting down and talking. She was very excited because she's been waiting to go to that spot for a while, then quickly said she has not stopped thinking about the conversation we had before with her conflicting feelings and asked me for a chance to think about it. We went back to a lighter conversation and talked for a few hours, got a bit lovey dovey then called it a day.
The next day she said good morning, and then told me she'd like some time to think about my date invitation, I responded with a sure, take the time you need and how I fully supported whatever pace she felt comfortable with. Out of respect for her request, I stopped messaging her and I'm currently waiting for her to initiate, I noticed she keeps looking at stories I upload, but I'm just not sure about this anymore because I actually don't know how to respond regardless of her answer when she initiates again.
Am I messing things up? Is she sending mixed signals, or just genuinely conflicted about how she feels about me?

Hey so I'm a male who's 26 with literally no dating options whatsoever. I don't know how this happen but basically every girl I ever met is either married or in a strong LTR. The city I live in is pretty much dead except for the bars on a Saturday. Outside of that, there aren't alit if events going on.
When, I ask around, I hear guys talk about having dates lined up for 2 weeks. Even the advice I receive is don't be afraid to go on dates. My thing is people act like you can go on a date with any girl if you ask. I been rejected moreso than not for first dates. Lastly, I hear stories of guys dating girls who didn't like them for 4 dates. I'm trying understand how did you even convince a girl to date you for that long if she didn't really care.
I feel like I'm missing something because getting dates or really finding dateable women is very hard for me.
How do you guys do it?

This is a continuation of the first half of my March trip, where I hit up Kamakura, Yokohama, Tokyo, Hakuba, Takayama, Kanazawa, and Kyoto.
These last two weeks of my trip I was in Hiroshima, Miyajima, Okunoshima, Kyoto, Nozawaonsen, Fujikawaguchiko, and Tokyo.
The first half of my trip, I was working full time and barely sleeping. This second half, I had a lot more freedom.
Some things I did: fed some bunnies, watched a baseball game, attended an anime convention, waited a long time for donuts, wait through transport delays, wandered through a forest
A large portion of my trip was planned on the fly which was why I was able to make some seemingly nonsensical travel decisions. If I'd planned ahead of time, I wouldn't have missed out on certain in-demand experiences, for example, seeing a band I badly wanted to see, or returning to the Ghibli Museum to replace the kodama figure I'd smashed. However, one of the benefits of solo travel is the flexibility of doing whatever one wants, and I certainly did that.
On that note, most of the other people I saw throughout my trip were traveling with friends or significant others. There were plenty of occasions where I wished there was someone to share the experience with (the fact that I was still carrying a torch for someone the whole time didn't help).
In general, the hostels in Japan also seemed far less interested in promoting social activities, compared other countries I've visited. There were exceptions, like the one place that was run by a European guy. People on the streets also tended to do their own thing; I was approached by strangers twice during my trip, both times cos I was carrying a box from a very trendy donut shop.
This probably isn't Japan-specific, but one of the biggest lessons I learned was leave ample time for travel delays. I got caught by unforeseen circumstances and each time I wished I hadn't scheduled things so tightly. If hurrying between cities, I'd also take the train over the bus next time. It might cost a little more, but worth it just to avoid being stuck in traffic.
Expenses (gonna use USD):
Credit card $2802 / Cash $855
Total spent $3657
I charged my card as much as possible, both for the travel points and for fear of running out of cash. I arrived with almost $1k in bills and actually ended up with a bit left over
Lodging - $746 for 28 days, ranging from several $16/night hostels to a $52/night ryokan
Shopping - don't know total cos I used both card and cash, but my biggest expense was $217 electronic device from Don Quijote, followed by $49 at Uniqlo
Food - also don't know total, but most expensive meals were $70 and $35 for two tofu dinners, and $50 for wagyu lunch. The majority of my meals were <$10.
Other - notably $334 for two-week JR Pass and ~$200 for private lesson
Mon 3/18 - Hiroshima, Miyajima
Took off for Hiroshima on the shinkansen first thing in the morning. I was pleasantly surprised to by how much the JR Pass covered for this leg; I barely paid for any transportation costs the next few days. My pass covered the sightseeing bus that takes you from Hiroshima Station to a bunch of tourist locations (my hostel was right by one of them), the train and ferry rides to Miyajima, and my trains to Tadanoumi. IIRC all that was left was the 100yen Miyajima visitor tax and the ferry ride for Okunoshima. Score. Once again, Japan Travel by NAVITIME was super helpful for figuring out covered routes.
I got off the tourist bus at Peace Memorial Park and checked into my hostel, then immediately headed to a nearby okonomiyaki place (Henkutsuya Horikawa). Damn, that ooey gooey chewy flavour bomb seriously hit the spot. I wasn't expecting to be served right on the griddle where the food was being prepared.
After that, I walked around Peace Memorial Park, full of solemn tributes for everyone affected by the atomic bomb. The museum painted a very vivid picture of what transpired the morning of the bomb. It's hard for me to write about this. I'll just say people should know the human toll of war.
The park was built near the bomb had detonated; now everything is beautiful and serene, with only a few eerie vestiges of destruction like the Atomic Dome (kinda eerie at night).
I'd lingered a little longer than expected at the museum (it'd take hours to read through everything) and had to rush off to Miyajima. First things I noticed after getting off the ferry were the deer, so chill unlike the entitled ones I'd encountered in Nara. These, I like.
I spent some time walking through the shopping street, plenty of seafood, snacks, and souvenirs were available. Also diddle around Itsukushima Shrine a bit, waiting around for sunset and high tide. The view of the Great Torii was quite lovely.
Had some very cheap udon and egg sushi at Ueda, an adorable mom-and-pop restaurant near my hostel. The old lady there was just hustling to serve me; I wanted to hug her so bad. There was also a Dodgers game was on, and the camera kept cutting to Shohei Ohtani. The love for this guy here is real; I want to watch him play in person now.
Tues 3/19 - Okunoshima
Set off bright and early for a day trip to Rabbit Island for some eye bleach, and that was what I got, sorta. I'd bought some carrots and lettuce for feeding at the konbini beforehand, but you can buy bags of food pellets as well. The bunnies there were not shy at all; they come running out straight to you soon as they detect human presence, probably because they are so dependent on us for food. There were pans of presumably food and water around the island, which put my mind slightly more at ease.
Rabbits aren't all Rabbit Island is known for. It also used to be a secret island used for poison gas production, but maybe Poison Gas Island doesn't have the same appeal to it. There are still some creepy abandoned buildings and other traces of its martial past scattered around. I visited the poison gas museum, which was tiny but informative. Many of the plant workers suffered from ailments or straight up died here. There is now a resort where some of stuff took place.
Dark past aside, it was a nice quiet day of walking up and down trails. There are some decent views of the surrounding islands from the top of the hill.
Wed 3/20 - Tokyo
Well, today was a little unusual. About a week or so ago, I got the idea of seeing a baseball game in Japan. Was originally thinking the Hiroshima Toyo Carp but their schedule didn't work for me. Then I found out the historic Meiji Jingu Stadium, home of the Tokyo Yakult Swallows, might get torn down soon, and I wished to see it before that happens. There was a home game today that fit my schedule. Also - I'd decided previously that I wanted to hit up another ski resort at some point for more riding, and my JR Pass was active this week. Yeah so that's how I found myself leaving Hiroshima for a pit stop in Tokyo, then finishing the day in Nozawaonsen.
Left hostel around 6am to catch the Shinkansen to Tokyo Station, where I found a locker to dump my bags. Quick tempura soba lunch at Tendon Tenya, then off to Meiji Jingu Stadium. I was 15 min late to the 1pm starting time, right as it was starting to rain.
It'd been a few years since I last saw a baseball game, and this turned out to be a great experience. The fans were super into it, singing and chanting every few minutes. They also did the Tokyo Ondo dance with their tiny ass umbrellas at the 7th inning and whenever the Swallows scored, so adorable. Concession fare was not bad either; I got udon and matcha parfait instead of hot dogs for a change, and it was funny to see the players hamming it up.
Home team won, a few rounds of Tokyo Ondo were sung, now it's back to Tokyo Station to take the Shinkansen toward Nozawaonsen. Now Japanese trains are renowned for their punctuality, with the average train delay less than one minute a year - well my train was two hours late to arrive. It was very windy and rainy that day, and a fallen tree had blocked the way or something. I arrived at my Iiyama stop way too late to catch the last bus and the taxi stand was empty. It was snowing hard outside and I thought I was SOL. Thankfully, a station attendant was able to call up a cab for me. What was supposed to be a $4 bus ride turned into a $50 cab ride but, shou ga nai. I was so so happy when I finally entered my room at Miyasakaya at 11pm and found a kotatsu and heater waiting for me.
Thu 3/21 - Nozawaonsen
I chose this place because it was a cute little village with both a ski resort and over a dozen public baths. Despite the travel mishaps the day before, I was glad I came. The village was very compact and it was only a short walk to the resort. I felt very fortunate to have fresh pow both times I went riding.
After that was over, I set off to explore the village a bit. Everything was beautiful and serene from the freshly fallen snow. There was Ogama, a hot spring used by locals as an open air kitchen for cooking food. Only villagers are allowed in, probably for good reason.
I tried one of the 13 free public bathhouses where, as is customary in Japan, the baths are gender-separated and everyone strips down completely. Big yikes. It seemed like elderly (locals) had no trouble wading right in whereas the younger generation, myself included, had to struggle a bit to acclimate to the high temperature of the water. I decided one bath was quite enough for me and went to enjoy a hearty dinner that included an onsen egg and the local pickled nozawana.
BTW, I understand the serious dangers that come with backcountry riding, but the dourness of this poster just sent me.
Fri 3/22 - Kyoto
Well, I ended up deciding I wanted to visit Fushimi Inari on this trip after all (but mostly I wanted an excuse to eat more tofu), so back to Kyoto I went. First stop was Nishiki Market which had a very wide delicious-looking assortment of food stands. The freshly fried tempura and freshly prepared seafood looked especially good; too bad I was full.
Then up some shopping streets, quick stop at Ippodo to buy some matcha which I forgot to do the week before. Afterwards, back to Kyoto Gyoen to scope out the tree situation. Well there was one big cherry blossom tree that was in partial bloom; nevertheless it was surrounded by people taking pictures (hey we take what we can get).
Hopped on the train to Fushimi Inari and got there in the late afternoon, still lots of people around. I started climbing the steps, stopping only for a city vista with the orange glow of sunset. The crowds were petering out, awesome. By the time I reached the top (~50 min later), it was already dark, peaceful, eerie almost. I'd never seen this place at night and was glad I came. (It's technically open 24/7 but there are warning signs about wild boars out at night.)
The rest of the night was kind of a bummer. I went back to the restaurant where I first had tofu dinner eight years ago. The only tofu set available included seafood which I was allergic to. I inquired about potential substitutions and there must've been some miscommunication; what I ended up getting was a plate of wagyu and rice, which was obviously quality but my heart was set on tofu. I was probably mostly mad about my failed listening comprehension. Oh well, things don't always turn out when traveling.
Sat 3/23 - Tokyo
Back to Tokyo, where I would stay for much of the remainder of my trip. This was the last day of my JR Pass so no more stupid bouncing back and forth after today.
There were two concerts I'd really hoped to attend happening today, primarily King Gnu at Sapporo Dome. (They had an international ticket sale late last year, way before I'd decided on this trip.) Knowing how slim my chances are as a foreigner to get tickets, I hedged and bought a day pass to the AnimeJapan 2024 convention instead. It was only ~$16, way cheaper than any anime convention back home, a cost I would happily eat if I managed to score a concert ticket.
I was aiming to make it into the convention by 10:25 which alas did not happen. I had a chance to see the voice actor of my favourite anime in person but the wait to get in took too long and I missed the panel completely. Oh well... This was actually my first anime convention ever and it was certainly a interesting if not overstimulating experience. The place was completely packed with attendees, giant screens, loud noises. Many anime that I recognised, many that I did not. There was also a decent number of cosplayers; this one's my favourite. Oh yeah I also had the least-satisfying meal of my entire trip here (aside from non-tofu).
The rest of the day was less interesting - visited the life-size Unicorn Gundam, wandered into a random tulip festival nearby, checked sukiyaki off my list, arrived at my hostel in Chiyoda. I was pleased to have milked that JR Pass until the very end, an 11pm ride on the Yamanote line.
Sun 3/24 - Tokyo (Akihabara)
First stop of the day was the National Museum of Modern Art, which I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Modern art is sometimes known for being inscrutable, but this museum offered accompanying text for almost everything and I felt engaged the whole time. There was also a cherry blossom special exhibition going on, and they provided low benches to simulate the hanami experience, such a nice touch.
Next up was the Sumida Hokusai Museum, which only has replicas in its permanent exhibition but was still very informative about the many artistic periods of the man's life (he also went by over 30 names, depending on the period!) I especially liked this display on process behind the the Great Wave Over Kanagawa.
I'd originally gone to Asakusa for lunch at Ichiran around noon, but noped out after seeing the line out the door and around the corner. Returned right before 5pm, the queue was only 6 people long, score. All I can say is that it was GOOD to be back. My bowl was customised to perfection; it's still my favourite ramen chain.
After dinner, walked over to Akihabara to explore a bit. The streets were lined with a ridiculous number of girls trying to hand out flyers and get people into their maid cafes (also a couple of guys for butler cafes); I was just glad they were allowed to wear jackets and carry umbrellas standing in the cold. Already tried the maid cafe experience last time; being addressed as "your majesty" once was more than enough.
My hope was to locate a Gintama figure. I saw lots and lots of figures on display in various stores but sadly nothing for what I wanted. One of my stops was the eight-floor Mandarake complex. That place... was an experience. So much stuff, including a sorta creepy floor with customisable dolls. BTW, you might think all the hentai would be hidden at the top or something. Haha well, just don't take your kids into the fourth floor. On that same note, how DARE they defile Frieren like that!
I wandered around a bunch of other shops and saw and hundreds and hundreds of figurines, e.g. Gundam, One Piece, Spy X Family, all the shounens, etc. It was still fun to explore.
Mon 3/25 - Tokyo (Asakusa, Akihabara)
Today's schedule was relatively light as I'd planned to go hiking at Jimba today; however the rain kinda blew those plans away. Instead, I got some cardio in by running the Imperial Palace 5k loop. It was really pleasant, a lot of urban scenery to take in. Maybe a little pleasant - I stopped several times to snap pictures. If you go, make sure you run counterclockwise to not look like a knob!
Afterwards, I headed back to Asakusa to pay a visit Senso-ji. As expected, the place was completely packed, with good reason: every direction you turn, there was a pretty view. Honestly I didn't even mind the crowds; they added to the energy. This place is just so invigorating I would visit it every time I'm in town.
Also got matcha gelato at Suzukien right behind Senso-ji. The level 7 matcha really hit the spot, was totally worth the hype.
For dinner, I ventured back to Akihabara to try Japanese-style spaghetti at Spajiro. As a lover of noodle soup, it really hit the spot for me. Afterwards, picked up some stuff at Uniqlo and Donki (gotta love that duty-free shopping) before calling it a night.
Tues 3/27 - Tokyo (Shibuya, Shinjuku)
It poured all day, which was rather unfortunate. I had plans to visit the Tokyo National Museum, and it seemed that many other tourists also got the idea that being indoors was better than wandering around Ueno Park today. Cue the hourlong queue.
The contents of the museum were as expected: many cultural treasures that they were (rightfully) proud of. I particularly enjoyed the beautiful folding screens, kimonos, calligraphy, and woodblock prints (including actual Hokusai ones). There's also a nice garden, which I almost had all to myself bc only one or two other people wanted to step out in the pouring rain.
Now for the crummy part: I had reservations in the afternoon for Shibuya Sky, but visibility was terrible. The rooftop was also closed due to rain. It was hard to see far, but at least the immediate surroundings, e.g. the crossing, were still easy to see.
Before going up the tower, I'd passed by this place called "I'm donut ?" that had a ginormous line. After the tower, line was gone so I went in to check it out. There was literally one single donut left and they closed up shop after I bought it. As I stood outside enjoying my pleasantly not-too-sweet chocolate spelt donut with the texture of fluffy bread, several other people came by and stared hungrily at my treat. Awkward...
This evening I was headed to Shinjuku's Golden Gai for dinner at Ramen Nagi, the first place I'd ever eaten at in Japan. It was eight years ago, way past midnight, and this cramped second-story ramenya was the first place we saw open on the way to our lodging. We were flustered by having to order off a machine for the first time, but the anchovy broth and curly ribbons of noodles, unlike any ramen we'd eaten back home, promised only more surprising delights to come for our trip... Anyways. It was as cramped and delicious as I'd remembered. I was happy.
After dinner, wandered around Kabukicho a bit, wondering what was going on inside all these buildings of the red-light district. The place was already very loud and bright from all the signs around, but the reflections off shimmering wet streets made things seem doubly so.
Walked through Omoide Yokocho, where I found myself getting pulled into one of the stalls. Goddamnit, I just ate. I politely ordered two skewers and the bill, which includes a 500 yen table charge, came out to be around 1100 yen. Well I guess it was worth it for the "unique" experience - the guy grilling the skewers was casually just reaching into the snack mix bin and smoking a cigarette at the same time, that's the kind of place this was.
Saw something on Google Maps about a giant Godzilla head, which took me to a nearby movie theatre. Instructions unclear, watched Dune: Part Two instead.
Wed 3/26 - Tokyo (Ginza), Koga
First half of today would be Ginza, followed by a day trip to Koga in Ibaraki Prefecture to visit a trio of octogenarians I'd befriended at a cave in Vietnam.
I like Ginza. Very pretty and walkable, obviously you don't actually have to buy anything.
First stop was Kimuraya, supposedly the oldest bakery in Japan, originator of anpan and whatever the hell this is. Munched on shrimp katsu sando at their cafe on 2F and watched the passersby below.
Next, walked around the Kabukiza Theatre and checked out the free little kabuki museum in the tower behind it. Kinda cool angle of the theatre too. Didn't have time this trip, but I remember catching part of a kabuki show was a pretty nice experience, plus you can just buy tickets for a single act and then peace out.
Lunch at Ginza Hachigou, the reason I came today. It took me two weeks to get that reservation, basically the same experience as fighting bots for concert tickets. I ordered the one with the foie gras ravioli, which at $14 would be my most expensive ramen this trip. And, it was really good. Each part of it was prepared well; I especially enjoyed the flavourful lightness of the consomme and the pillowy softness of the ravioli (honestly feels more like a wonton to me). You only get 30 min of seat time and I took it pretty slow to savour everything.
Walked around a bit more to take in the glimmering architecture. There was a giant mass of people outside the Michael Kors store; apparently some kpop idol was inside and fans were trying to catch a glimpse of her.
A place I ended up really liking was the free Shiseido Gallery, which provides solo exhibition space for various artists. When I went, the featured artist was Zai Nomura, whose work really spoke to me. There was one interactive piece that invited visitors to submit their own photographs, which I gladly did.
Mid-afternoon, I hopped on the train to Koga to see my cave buddies. It was an hour and a half ride, and they picked me from the station to go to the local park. There was a peach blossom festival going on, with orchards of mostly Barbie-pink fluff as far as the eye could see. We took a lovely sunset stroll at the park, then headed off to a nice Japanese restaurant. I had input my order and gone to the restroom, when they decided that ordering off a tablet was too confusing and we should go somewhere else. (Like many of the elderly I'd encountered here, they are healthy and spry, but still utterly befuddled by technology.) Instead we went to a Chinese restaurant and I must say, the Chinese food I've tried in Japan has continued to disappoint me; at least the company did not. It was also nice hanging out in an average, non-touristy city for a change.
Thu 3/28 - Tokyo (Shibuya)
No real plans today other than wandering around Shibuya and eating. With only a few days left on my trip, this was gonna be my lazy weekender foodie day. Skip if you don't want to read me yammering on about food.
Took a stroll through Nakameguro to catch some cherry blossoms. The trees lining the streets were indeed coming along quite well, but the ones along the river were still barren. Everyone's been waiting expectantly but the recent cold snap delayed the blooms by a week.
Next up was a visit to the Kyu Asakura House, a well-preserved local politician's estate from the early 1900s where they absolutely do not want you touching anything. It really was a nice home that takes you back in time, even if barren of furniture - and the garden was even nicer.
Realising the house was only a 6 min away from the Shibuya I'm donut ?, I returned, again to a long orderly line (Japanese people really do not mind their queues). So I figured, already tried one donut of theirs that was good, why not see if the rest were worth the hype?
55 minutes later... I didn't notice it last time, but this particular branch was like an atelier of donuts; everything was arranged in such a beautiful, bougie fashion. And there were dozens of interesting flavours too! I picked out six and decided to save worrying about how to eat them all for later.
Next stop: Nanaya. The intense matcha and black sesame gelato I had at Suzukien was so enjoyable I decided to get it again, at Nanaya. (The 7 levels of matcha gelato was a collab between the two.) So good, made me wish there were a level 8 or 9...
At this point, I figured I should get some real food in my belly before I fill it up completely with sweets. Aoyama Flower Market Tea House, which charmed the hell out of me a few weeks ago, was nearby so I went back for an actual meal. The flower arrangements for the place had changed, but my omurice lunch was as aesthetically pleasing and delicious as expected.
Next up was Latte Art Mania that was recommended to me by a barista I'd met at the hostels. Their deal is that they specialise in latte art (duh) and their drinks are pitch black (charcoal, most likely). Apparently I got the same design as my friend, a swan, but the drink itself was very good and it tripped me out to see my matcha latte the colour of tar.
Rest of the day was just wandering around Shibuya, lots of big brand stores, lots of trendy boutiques, lots of people to see. Walked through Harajuku, which was not as busy as I'd remembered, maybe bc it was late afternoon.
I saw a sign for Harry Harajuku hedgehog cafe that included pictures of otters, some of my favourite animals, so I went upstairs to it for a peek. There were indeed otters outside, but most of them were running in circles restlessly in small pens. It was a little unnerving for me and I decided not to enter.
Next up, Shibuya PARCO, which had Pokemon Center, Nintendo Store, Jump Shop, Capcom Store, etc all on the same floor. It was, expectedly, crowded as hell, so I didn't stay too long. It was cool to see full-size statues of Mewtwo, Luffy, Link, and others though.
Took another obligatory Shibuya Crossing video (this time from the Mark City bridge) and decided I was done with crowds for the day. It was surprising to see how uncongested everything was even just 200m away from the crossing.
Tried to walk into Tofu Cuisine Sorano for you-know-what, but they were sold out for the night, four hours before closing. :( Instead I settled for a hearty plate of napolitan at Spaghetti no Pancho, which I doused in Kewpie mayo and parmesan until I felt bad about myself. And then I got to work on the donuts, which turned out to be very much worth the hype.
Fri 3/29 - Tokyo (Ginza, Shinjuku), Fujikawaguchiko
I returned to Shiseido Gallery in Ginza. As previously mentioned, Nomura-san's exhibit had an interactive portion, which invited users to submit photographs of the deceased to be "printed" into a tank of water at a scheduled time. Hard to explain. My grandmother had passed the month before and it was a cathartic experience for me.
Before leaving, I stopped at Ginza Ginger for this exquisite bowl of shaved ice. It was a seasonal sakura theme, delicate in flavour and varied in texture, a beautiful treat. The hot strawberry ginger drink was an excellent accompaniment as well.
Speaking of sakura, more were finally getting into bloom in Tokyo so it was time to visit Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. The park itself was pretty vast and there were a lot of people, mostly crowded under the clusters of blooming sakura. I only had an hour, which was enough to see plenty of trees, but had to skip revisiting the Garden of Words pavilion.
I was on a tight schedule today. I had to catch my bus to Fujikawaguchiko and make it to my hostel by 8pm to check in. Based on the bus schedule, I should've made it on time, but alas traffic conditions prevented that from happening; I got off at 8:15 and reception was closed. This was a sleepy resort town with dark streets, and I legit started worrying having to find a hotel way out of budget, if any were even open, or the safety and legality of sleeping outside.
I wandered into an izakaya at the bus station that was open to ask for help and someone said they would call around for me. I sat around awkwardly for half an hour with my luggage before realising I'd only eaten a donut all afternoon, so what a pleasant surprise it was to find this place had tofu stew and horse sashimi, my two comforts, on the menu.
At around 9:30, the employee returned and said he found an available place ~2km away if I'd be willing to sleep at a hostel. Uh, are you kidding me??? I quickly agreed and he made arrangements for me. Thank you, tenin-san from Uotami Fujisan Station, for saving the day!
I walked 20 min the dark to get to this place and not a single car passed by. At $35, it'd be one of my more expensive lodgings this trip (and eating the cost of the original hostel) but who cares right now. I arrived at Cabin & Lounge Highland Station Inn and wow the place was way nicer than I'd thought, more of an upscale capsule hotel than a hostel. Spacious capsules with lots of lighting and charging options, huge lockers, the whole place was immaculately clean, vending machines, laundry machines, plenty of showers with soaps, lotions, dryers, etc. I slept very soundly that night (sheer relief may have also factored in here).
Sun 3/30 - Fujikawaguchiko
First stop of the day was the iconic Chureito Pagoda at Arakurayama Sengen Park. The earlier to go the better - I arrived around 7:30am and a few dozen people were already up there, plus I was kinda flushed after climbing the 400 stairs in the sun.
I realised that my trip was nearing its end and there was still nary a shred of evidence (screenshot of drained bank account maybe?) that I was in Japan. So, a photo here would have to do. Mt. Fuji - check, pagoda - check, cherry blossom - still in hiding. Eh, 2/3 ain't bad.
I hadn't noticed in the dark of night, but Mt. Fuji was so close by, casually looming over everything; just face the right direction and there it was, in your face. Pretty neat to experience.
Checked out of the capsule hostel and made it to Kawaguchiko Station to dump my luggage. It was a total zoo there and all the lockers were already occupied. I kept walking a few buildings down and found plenty of vacant lockers across the street from the 7-Eleven.
After securing bags, I went for lunch at the popular Hotou Fudo across the street from the station. Ordered the local specialty hoto miso noodle soup and horse sashimi, both of which I loved. It was a hearty and delicious meal.
Ambled along Lake Kawaguchi to where the cherry blossom festival was supposed to take place this weekend; however because the trees were still stubbornly refusing to blossom, there were barely any people around. I felt kinda bad for the people with booths out. It was a pleasant stroll along the lake but in all honesty, I wish I'd spent the day at Fuji-Q Highland amusement park.
Visited the Kawaguchi Asame Shrine, dedicated to the goddess of Mt. Fuji. This place is remarkable for having seven tall, healthy cedar trees clustered closely together, each one named and over 1,200 years old.
Went back to station to grab my bags and got picked up by the kind owner of my next hostel, Michikusa-ya. This place had a very lovely window seat.
Sun 3/31 - Fujikawaguchiko, Tokyo
Last full day in Japan!
There's this shrine on the lake called Rokkakudo that can only be accessed when the water level is low; other times it's on an islet. The inside of the shrine is bare but being able to get to the place was kinda cool on its own.
The majority of the day would be spent in Aokigahara aka Sea of Trees aka Suicide Forest. I was in a weird state of mind when I decided on this for the end of my trip. I had the two-day bus pass that gave unlimited rides on the red, blue, and green sightseeing buses. It's purchasable at Kawaguchiko Station or online, and is worth it for anyone making multiple stops.
I took the bus to the Bat Cave, closest stop to the forest entrance. There was an information center that naturally had three rooms full of Batman posters.
The forest really lived up to its name; the trails were clearly marked, but I did feel at numerous points as if I was standing amidst dense, undulating waves of trees. The forest floor is composed of impenetrable volcanic rock; thus most of the tree roots are splayed across the ground as tripping hazards. Though vast, there were plenty of exits to main roads or rest stops. I didn't think I'd meet a toilet I didn't like in Japan, but I was wrong.
At some point I decided that was enough forest and hopped on the sightseeing bus to the Narusawa Ice Cave. It was exactly as the name implied, a cave that naturally contained ice. I'd say it was borderline worth the price of admission: a cool phenomenon but you're also in and out in under ten minutes. I skipped the wind cave, which I think is similar.
With 24 hours left in Japan, it was time to head back to Kawaguchiko Station so I could catch the bus back to Tokyo and squeeze in last-minute activities. In hindsight, I should've taken the train. Just as the bus had taken longer to arrive than expected, it was stuck in traffic returning to Tokyo as well - this time delayed by three hours :/
I decided to spend my evening at Rikugien Gardens, which was specially lit up at night for sakura season. It was quite lovely and peaceful, in spite of the crowds, in spite of cherry blossoms not yet being in full bloom.
Final dinner was the familiar comfort of Marugame's nikutama bukkake udon, piled high with scallion and tempura bits. Also threw in vegetable kakiage and burdock root tempura since we don't have those items back home.
Watched the trains ride off into the night as I walked back to my hostel. Love you, Yamanote Line <3
Mon 4/1 - Tokyo
My flight was a little past 2pm but I wasn't quite ready to be done yet. Walked over to Ueno Park at 8am, where the trees were finally teasing pink and white cotton candy splendour. It wasn't very crowded yet since all the food stands wouldn't be open for another hour or so, but a bunch of people were already camping out their hanami picnic spots. I would've killed for a few more days...
I enjoyed Rikugien so much at night that I wanted to take the opportunity see it during the day as well. It was a peaceful stroll through a well-maintained garden; barely even register the dead grass anymore.
And with that, it was off to Narita. I wanted to give Ippudo a second chance and tried the akamaru ramen this time - much better flavour, and the chashu was perfection. After that, just hitting up the souvenir shops and making one final konbini run for my airplane "lunch". (Everything was fantastic except for the weird-tasting grapefruit gummies.) Also shoutout to Shiroi Koibito, the biscuits have a delightful buttery texture and they pack a good number into the boxes.
And that's the end of this trip. I didn't really want to go on it but I'm glad I ultimately went. Japan just has this certain charm makes you temporarily forget your troubles because you're so filled with wonder by what you're experiencing. Will probably return much sooner next time, to see the autumn leaves, and/or eat my way through Hokkaido and make use of pass at Niseko. Or go back to Koyasan, still a magical place for me. So many possibilities.
Anyways, that's it. Sorry it got kinda long. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.

Hello everyone, first time poster here. I desperately need help or advice from anyone who knows what to do. I’ll be going in person to a Centrelink centre soon but I want to know what to expect.
Long story short, I have been a recipient of DSP for 3 years now and have multiple chronic illnesses that are making it increasingly harder and harder to function, be productive or even successfully care for myself. My disabilities are both physical and cognitive. Since I was accessed by Centrelink my illnesses have gotten significantly worse. I am only 26 and cannot work, despite my sadness that this is the reality.
I am soon to be considered de-facto when I officially move in to the same residence with my partner and as he is a higher earner with a full time job, Centrelink via the website have implied that I will receive 0 income after living with him.
I would be absolutely devastated to lose the last piece of independence that I have. I am able with my pension to pay for my much needed appointments, medical bills, groceries and essential bills. Without any income I would be lost, completely dependent on my partner against my wishes and would be completely lost. The pension I receive means so much more to me than only money… it means I have a sense of independence and makes me feel less of a burden on my loved ones.
I feel while my partner earns money, I should not be automatically entitled to a portion of it or need to rely on him for money and support.
I am so scared and I don’t know what I will do without my last remanence of normalcy. Please give advice if you have any at all, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks