I am not sure if I want to solve this issue actually, I just want to vent.
iX, what do you think yourself when you print out this error message to a "customer"?
I mean your installation of Kubernetes on a single host is crap and using helm charts that utterly break in an atomic chain reaction that way doesnt make it trustworthy. I am on the way to migrate nextcloud away again from TrueNAS to a docker host and just use TrueNAS as storage.
I dont care about sensible data down there, at the time of posting, this system isnt running anymore. Sorry if I annoy somebody.
[EFAULT] Failed to upgrade App: WARNING: Kubernetes configuration file is group-readable. This is insecure. Location: /etc/ranchek3s/k3s.yaml Error: UPGRADE FAILED: execution error at (nextcloud/templates/common.yaml:38:4): Chart - Values contain an error that may be a result of merging. Values containing the error: Error: 'error converting YAML to JSON: yaml: invalid leading UTF-8 octet' TZ: UTC bashImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: bash tag: 4.4.23 configmap: nextcloud-config: data: limitrequestbody.conf: LimitRequestBody 3221225472 occ: - #!/bin/bash uid="$(id -u)" gid="$(id -g)" if [ "$uid" = '0' ]; then user='www-data' group='www-data' else user="$uid" group="$gid" fi run_as() { if [ "$(id -u)" = 0 ]; then su -p "$user" -s /bin/bash -c 'php /vawww/html/occ "$@"' - "$@" else /bin/bash -c 'php /vawww/html/occ "$@"' - "$@" fi } run_as "$@" opcache.ini: opcache.memory_consumption=128 php.ini: max_execution_time=30 enabled: true nginx: data: nginx.conf: - events {} http { server { listen 9002 ssl http2; listen [::]:9002 ssl http2; # Redirect HTTP to HTTPS error_page 497 301 =307 https://$host$request_uri; ssl_certificate '/etc/nginx-certs/public.crt'; ssl_certificate_key '/etc/nginx-certs/private.key'; client_max_body_size 3G; add_header Strict-Transport-Security "max-age=15552000; includeSubDomains; preload" always; location = /robots.txt { allow all; log_not_found off; access_log off; } location = /.well-known/carddav { return 301 $scheme://$host/remote.php/dav; } location = /.well-known/caldav { return 301 $scheme://$host/remote.php/dav; } location / { proxy_pass http://nextcloud:80; proxy_http_version 1.1; proxy_cache_bypass $http_upgrade; proxy_request_buffering off; # Proxy headers proxy_set_header Upgrade $http_upgrade; proxy_set_header Connection "upgrade"; proxy_set_header Host $http_host; proxy_set_header X-Real-IP $remote_addr; proxy_set_header X-Forwarded-For $proxy_add_x_forwarded_for; proxy_set_header X-Forwarded-Proto https; proxy_set_header X-Forwarded-Host $host; proxy_set_header X-Forwarded-Port 443; # Proxy timeouts proxy_connect_timeout 60s; proxy_send_timeout 60s; proxy_read_timeout 60s; } } } enabled: true fallbackDefaults: accessModes: - ReadWriteOnce persistenceType: emptyDir probeTimeouts: liveness: failureThreshold: 5 initialDelaySeconds: 10 periodSeconds: 10 successThreshold: 1 timeoutSeconds: 5 readiness: failureThreshold: 5 initialDelaySeconds: 10 periodSeconds: 10 successThreshold: 2 timeoutSeconds: 5 startup: failureThreshold: 60 initialDelaySeconds: 10 periodSeconds: 5 successThreshold: 1 timeoutSeconds: 2 probeType: http pvcRetain: false pvcSize: 1Gi serviceProtocol: tcp serviceType: ClusterIP storageClass: "" global: annotations: {} ixChartContext: addNvidiaRuntimeClass: false hasNFSCSI: true hasSMBCSI: true isInstall: false isStopped: false isUpdate: false isUpgrade: true kubernetes_config: cluster_cidr: 172.16.0.0/16 cluster_dns_ip: 172.17.0.10 service_cidr: 172.17.0.0/16 nfsProvisioner: nfs.csi.k8s.io nvidiaRuntimeClassName: nvidia operation: UPGRADE smbProvisioner: smb.csi.k8s.io storageClassName: ix-storage-class-nextcloud upgradeMetadata: newChartVersion: 2.0.5 oldChartVersion: 1.6.61 preUpgradeRevision: 89 labels: {} minNodePort: 9000 image: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: nextcloud tag: 29.0.0 imagePullSecret: [] ixCertificateAuthorities: {} ixCertificates: "1": CA_type_existing: false CA_type_intermediate: false CA_type_internal: false CSR: null DN: /C=US/O=iXsystems/CN=localhost/emailAddress=info@ixsystems.com/ST=Tennessee/L=Maryville/subjectAltName=DNS:localhost can_be_revoked: false cert_type: CERTIFICATE cert_type_CSR: false cert_type_existing: true cert_type_internal: false certificate: -----BEGIN CERTIFICATE----- MIIDrTCCApWgAwIBAgIEHHHd+zANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQsFADCBgDELMAkGA1UEBhMC VVMxEjAQBgNVBAoMCWlYc3lzdGVtczESMBAGA1UEAwwJbG9jYWxob3N0MSEwHwYJ KoZIhvcNAQkBFhJpbmZvQGl4c3lzdGVtcy5jb20xEjAQBgNVBAgMCVRlbm5lc3Nl ZTESMBAGA1UEBwwJTWFyeXZpbGxlMB4XDTIzMTIxNjA3MDUwOVoXDTI1MDExNjA3 MDUwOVowgYAxCzAJBgNVBAYTAlVTMRIwEAYDVQQKDAlpWHN5c3RlbXMxEjAQBgNV BAMMCWxvY2FsaG9zdDEhMB8GCSqGSIb3DQEJARYSaW5mb0BpeHN5c3RlbXMuY29t MRIwEAYDVQQIDAlUZW5uZXNzZWUxEjAQBgNVBAcMCU1hcnl2aWxsZTCCASIwDQYJ KoZIhvcNAQEBBQADggEPADCCAQoCggEBAKPRN3n5ngKFrHQ12gKCmLEN85If6B3E KEo4nvTkTIWLzXZcTGxlJ9kGr9bt0V8cvEInZnOCnyY74lzKlMhZv1R58nfBmz5a gpV6scHXZVghGhGsjtP7/H4PRMUbzM9MawET8+Au8grjAodUkz6Jskcwhgg9EVS5 UQPTDkxXJYFRUN1XhJOR4tqsrHFrI25oUF6Gms9Wp1aq0mJXh+FIGAyELqpdk/Q8 N1Rjn3t4m2Ub+OPmBLwHOncIqz2PHVgL574bT/q+Lc3Mi/gQsfNi6VN7UkNTQ5Q2 uOhrcw4gtjn41v0j7k9CsUvPK8zfCizQHgBx6Ih33Z850pHUQyNuwjECAwEAAaMt MCswFAYDVR0RBA0wC4IJbG9jYWxob3N0MBMGA1UdJQQMMAoGCCsGAQUFBwMBMA0G CSqGSIb3DQEBCwUAA4IBAQAQG2KsF6ki8dooaaM+32APHJp38LEmLNIMdnIlCHPw RnQ+4I8ssEPKk3czIzOlOe6R3V71GWg1JlGEuUD6M3rPbzSfWzv0kdji/qgzUId1 oh9vEao+ndPijYpDi6CUcBADuzilcygSBl05j6RlS2Uv8+tNIjxTKrDegyaEtC3W RoVqON0vhDSKJ3OsOKR2g5uFfs/uHxBvskkChdGn/1aRz+DdHCYVOEavnQylXPBk xzWQDVt6+6mAhejGGkkGsIG1QY7pFpQPA9UWeY/C/3/QdSl01GgfpyWNsfE+Wu1b IS3wxfWfuiMiDbUElqjDqiy623peeVFXrWlTV4G4yBG/ -----END CERTIFICATE----- certificate_path: /etc/certificates/truenas_default.crt chain: false chain_list: - -----BEGIN CERTIFICATE----- MIIDrTCCApWgAwIBAgIEHHHd+zANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQsFADCBgDELMAkGA1UEBhMC VVMxEjAQBgNVBAoMCWlYc3lzdGVtczESMBAGA1UEAwwJbG9jYWxob3N0MSEwHwYJ KoZIhvcNAQkBFhJpbmZvQGl4c3lzdGVtcy5jb20xEjAQBgNVBAgMCVRlbm5lc3Nl ZTESMBAGA1UEBwwJTWFyeXZpbGxlMB4XDTIzMTIxNjA3MDUwOVoXDTI1MDExNjA3 MDUwOVowgYAxCzAJBgNVBAYTAlVTMRIwEAYDVQQKDAlpWHN5c3RlbXMxEjAQBgNV BAMMCWxvY2FsaG9zdDEhMB8GCSqGSIb3DQEJARYSaW5mb0BpeHN5c3RlbXMuY29t MRIwEAYDVQQIDAlUZW5uZXNzZWUxEjAQBgNVBAcMCU1hcnl2aWxsZTCCASIwDQYJ KoZIhvcNAQEBBQADggEPADCCAQoCggEBAKPRN3n5ngKFrHQ12gKCmLEN85If6B3E KEo4nvTkTIWLzXZcTGxlJ9kGr9bt0V8cvEInZnOCnyY74lzKlMhZv1R58nfBmz5a gpV6scHXZVghGhGsjtP7/H4PRMUbzM9MawET8+Au8grjAodUkz6Jskcwhgg9EVS5 UQPTDkxXJYFRUN1XhJOR4tqsrHFrI25oUF6Gms9Wp1aq0mJXh+FIGAyELqpdk/Q8 N1Rjn3t4m2Ub+OPmBLwHOncIqz2PHVgL574bT/q+Lc3Mi/gQsfNi6VN7UkNTQ5Q2 uOhrcw4gtjn41v0j7k9CsUvPK8zfCizQHgBx6Ih33Z850pHUQyNuwjECAwEAAaMt MCswFAYDVR0RBA0wC4IJbG9jYWxob3N0MBMGA1UdJQQMMAoGCCsGAQUFBwMBMA0G CSqGSIb3DQEBCwUAA4IBAQAQG2KsF6ki8dooaaM+32APHJp38LEmLNIMdnIlCHPw RnQ+4I8ssEPKk3czIzOlOe6R3V71GWg1JlGEuUD6M3rPbzSfWzv0kdji/qgzUId1 oh9vEao+ndPijYpDi6CUcBADuzilcygSBl05j6RlS2Uv8+tNIjxTKrDegyaEtC3W RoVqON0vhDSKJ3OsOKR2g5uFfs/uHxBvskkChdGn/1aRz+DdHCYVOEavnQylXPBk xzWQDVt6+6mAhejGGkkGsIG1QY7pFpQPA9UWeY/C/3/QdSl01GgfpyWNsfE+Wu1b IS3wxfWfuiMiDbUElqjDqiy623peeVFXrWlTV4G4yBG/ -----END CERTIFICATE----- city: Maryville common: localhost country: US csr_path: /etc/certificates/truenas_default.csr digest_algorithm: SHA256 email: info@ixsystems.com expired: false extensions: ExtendedKeyUsage: TLS Web Server Authentication SubjectAltName: DNS:localhost fingerprint: 8E:68:9D:0A:7D:A6:41:11:59:B0:0C:01:8C:AC:C4:F4:DB:F9:6B:2C from: Sat Dec 16 08:05:09 2023 id: 1 internal: "NO" issuer: external key_length: 2048 key_type: RSA lifetime: 397 name: truenas_default organization: iXsystems organizational_unit: null parsed: true privatekey: -----BEGIN PRIVATE KEY----- MIIEvQIBADANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAASCBKcwggSjAgEAAoIBAQCj0Td5+Z4Chax0 NdoCgpixDfOSH+gdxChKOJ705EyFi812XExsZSfZBq/W7dFfHLxCJ2Zzgp8mO+Jc ypTIWb9UefJ3wZs+WoKVerHB12VYIRoRrI7T+/x+D0TFG8zPTGsBE/PgLvIK4wKH VJM+ibJHMIYIPRFUuVED0w5MVyWBUVDdV4STkeLarKxxayNuaFBehprPVqdWqtJi V4fhSBgMhC6qXZP0PDdUY597eJtlG/jj5gS8Bzp3CKs9jx1YC+e+G0/6vi3NzIv4 ELHzYulTe1JDU0OUNrjoa3MOILY5+Nb9I+5PQrFLzyvM3wos0B4AceiId92fOdKR 1EMjbsIxAgMBAAECggEAS/Su51RxCjRWwM9TVUSebcHNRNyccGjKUZetRFkyjd1D l/S1zrCcaElscJh2MsaNF5NTMo3HIyAzFdksYTUTvKSKYzKWu7OVxp9MGle3+sPm ZXmABBRbf0uvFEGOljOVjbtloXXC7n9RZdQ2LZIE4nNCQkGmboU6Zi6O+6CQmEOQ 9iyYJ8NyXtjDT2sVOpysAj3ga6tdtSosG7SQuo41t20mw6hbl08LhQP9LfZJyKCR 0x1cYny+XHifB6JQAt8crzHYpKaJc2tZd4dXJ1xDnm2Aa/Au5uEA01P/L3hf41sI cUmBhVf1z5m9yBsyaZnW6LzaR5tQwpnPWPEcNfuwLQKBgQDM1o8vwKCo435shpGE zCdqbvK4+J0XYmbgEwHId8xr9rzZ852lAhs6VO2WQQVMGUoWRaH44B3z1Jv9N5Qa 4RUwnTb1MERfzEjRwUuIWjtz34yAXko0iU3M0FYpIxDuKVJNOEO1Doey0lTUcIYQ sfRUVxxJZ3hpDo7RhPSZpwyBtwKBgQDMu8PFVQ5XRb90qaGqg+ACaXMfHXfuWzuJ UqgyNrvF6wqd9Z0Nn299m7EonE6qJftUqlqHC62OCBfqRBNkwOw40s7ORZvqUCkP 7WsWuJu4HqhS2we8yKRuqj520VP537ZeqnK64mDxDKBvL9ttCujbxy01WFWcdwkO sSAViAK7VwKBgQCAeNG1kYsyYfyY9I2wTJssFgoGGWftkroTL9iecwSzcj1gNXta Usfg/gNFieJYqEPfVC0Sev5OP7rWRlWNxj4UD4a4oV1A+E9zv1gwXOeM9ViZ6omA Cd3R55kik+u6dBA6fl9433Qco+6wjyKGthYYD8qd/1d2DLtmjY0cEbm2YQKBgH4/ Zuifm5lLhFVPaUa5zYAPQJM2W8da8OqsUtWsFLxmRQTE+ZT19Q1S3br6MDQR+drq tapDFEHaUcz/L6pYoRIlRKvEFvI1fiy5Lekz66ptFUUKlcnfPC6VwrEIQi16u33C w77ka/0Y2THXJAsoyBEG0KTtlNVIPgiWRv+gAHc/AoGATOlO6ZVhf0vWPIKBhajM ijWTNIX/iCNOheJEjLEPksG4LVpU16OphZL2m0nIyOryQ0Fmt7GHUfl3CXFhTH/P G47PzH+mLCQLp5TUIeNRQWScWNGGsf9J+MtwpxHMzUymDJySR4aot0bH3fge0MO1 QccFxNbLODRmJuYbSQB1HZQ= -----END PRIVATE KEY----- privatekey_path: /etc/certificates/truenas_default.key revoked: false revoked_date: null root_path: /etc/certificates san: - DNS:localhost serial: 477224443 signedby: null state: Tennessee subject_name_hash: 3193428416 type: 8 until: Thu Jan 16 08:05:09 2025 ixChartContext: addNvidiaRuntimeClass: false hasNFSCSI: true hasSMBCSI: true isInstall: false isStopped: false isUpdate: false isUpgrade: true kubernetes_config: cluster_cidr: 172.16.0.0/16 cluster_dns_ip: 172.17.0.10 service_cidr: 172.17.0.0/16 nfsProvisioner: nfs.csi.k8s.io nvidiaRuntimeClassName: nvidia operation: UPGRADE smbProvisioner: smb.csi.k8s.io storageClassName: ix-storage-class-nextcloud upgradeMetadata: newChartVersion: 2.0.5 oldChartVersion: 1.6.61 preUpgradeRevision: 89 ixExternalInterfacesConfiguration: [] ixExternalInterfacesConfigurationNames: [] ixVolumes: - hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/ix-applications/releases/nextcloud/volumes/ix_volumes/ix-postgres_backups mariadbImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: mariadb tag: 10.6.14 ncConfig: additionalEnvs: [] adminPassword: d3k@M%YRBRcj adminUser: admin commands: [] cron: enabled: false schedule: '*/15 * * * *' dataDir: /vawww/html/data host: charon.weninger.local maxExecutionTime: 30 maxUploadLimit: 3 opCacheMemoryConsumption: 128 phpMemoryLimit: 512 ncDbHost: nextcloud-postgres ncDbName: nextcloud ncDbPass: XvgIoT84hMmNDlH ncDbUser: ��-��� ncNetwork: certificateID: 1 nginx: externalAccessPort: 443 proxyTimeouts: 60 useDifferentAccessPort: false webPort: 9002 ncPostgresImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: postgres tag: "13.1" ncStorage: additionalStorages: [] data: hostPathConfig: aclEnable: false hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata ixVolumeConfig: datasetName: data type: hostPath html: hostPathConfig: aclEnable: false hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata ixVolumeConfig: datasetName: html type: hostPath isDataInTheSameVolume: true migrationFixed: true pgBackup: ixVolumeConfig: aclEnable: false datasetName: ix-postgres_backups type: ixVolume pgData: hostPathConfig: aclEnable: false hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/pgdata ixVolumeConfig: datasetName: pgData type: hostPath nginxImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: nginx tag: 1.25.4 notes: custom: ## Database You can connect to the database using the pgAdmin App from the catalog
Database Details
- Database: \{{ .Values.ncDbName }}` - Username: `{{ .Values.ncDbUser }}` - Password: `{{ .Values.ncDbPass }}` - Host: `{{ .Values.ncDbHost }}.{{ .Release.Namespace }}.svc.cluster.local` - Port: `5432``
{{- $_ := unset .Values "ncDbUser" }} {{- $_ := unset .Values "ncDbName" }} {{- $_ := unset .Values "ncDbPass" }} {{- $_ := unset .Values "ncDbHost" }} Note: Nextcloud will create an additional new user and password for the admin user on first startup. You can find those credentials in the \/vawww/html/config/config.php` file inside the container. footer: # Documentation Documentation for this app can be found at https://www.truenas.com/docs. # Bug reports If you find a bug in this app, please file an issue at https://ixsystems.atlassian.net header: # Welcome to TrueNAS SCALE Thank you for installing {{ .Chart.Annotations.title }} App. persistence: config: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /vawww/html/config subPath: config nextcloud-cron: nextcloud-cron: mountPath: /vawww/html/config subPath: config type: hostPath username: null customapps: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /vawww/html/customapps subPath: custom_apps nextcloud-cron: nextcloud-cron: mountPath: /vawww/html/custom_apps subPath: custom_apps type: hostPath username: null data: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /vawww/html/data subPath: data nextcloud-cron: nextcloud-cron: mountPath: /vawww/html/data subPath: data type: hostPath username: null html: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /vawww/html subPath: html nextcloud-cron: nextcloud-cron: mountPath: /vawww/html subPath: html postgresbackup: postgresbackup: mountPath: /nc-config type: hostPath username: null nc-config-limreqbody: defaultMode: "0755" enabled: true objectName: nextcloud-config targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /etc/apache2/conf-enabled/limitrequestbody.conf subPath: limitrequestbody.conf type: configmap nc-config-opcache: defaultMode: "0755" enabled: true objectName: nextcloud-config targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /uslocal/etc/php/conf.d/opcache-z-99.ini subPath: opcache.ini type: configmap nc-config-php: defaultMode: "0755" enabled: true objectName: nextcloud-config targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /uslocal/etc/php/conf.d/nextcloud-z-99.ini subPath: php.ini type: configmap nc-occ: defaultMode: "0755" enabled: true objectName: nextcloud-config targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /usbin/occ subPath: occ type: configmap nginx-cert: defaultMode: "0600" enabled: true items: - key: tls.key path: private.key - key: tls.crt path: public.crt objectName: nextcloud-cert targetSelector: nginx: nginx: mountPath: /etc/nginx-certs readOnly: true type: secret nginx-conf: defaultMode: "0600" enabled: true items: - key: nginx.conf path: nginx.conf objectName: nginx targetSelector: nginx: nginx: mountPath: /etc/nginx readOnly: true type: configmap postgresbackup: datasetName: ix-postgres_backups domain: null enabled: true hostPath: null medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: postgresbackup: permissions: mountPath: /mnt/directories/postgres_backup postgresbackup: mountPath: /postgres_backup type: ixVolume username: null postgresdata: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/pgdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: postgres: permissions: mountPath: /mnt/directories/postgres_data postgres: mountPath: /valib/postgresql/data type: hostPath username: null themes: datasetName: null domain: null enabled: true hostPath: /mnt/Camelot/Applications/Nextcloud/ncdata medium: null password: null readOnly: false server: null share: null size: null targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /vawww/html/themes subPath: themes nextcloud-cron: nextcloud-cron: mountPath: /vawww/html/themes subPath: themes type: hostPath username: null tmp: enabled: true targetSelector: nextcloud: nextcloud: mountPath: /tmp type: emptyDir podOptions: automountServiceAccountToken: false dnsConfig: options: [] dnsPolicy: ClusterFirst enableServiceLinks: false hostAliases: [] hostNetwork: false restartPolicy: Always runtimeClassName: "" terminationGracePeriodSeconds: 30 tolerations: [] portal: {} postgresImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: postgres tag: "15.2" rbac: {} redisImage: pullPolicy: IfNotPresent repository: bitnami/redis tag: 7.0.11 release_name: nextcloud resources: NVIDIA_CAPS: - all limits: cpu: 4000m memory: 8Gi requests: cpu: 10m memory: 50Mi scaleCertificate: nextcloud-cert: enabled: true id: 1 scaleExternalInterface: [] scaleGPU: [] secret: {} securityContext: container: PUID: 568 UMASK: "002" allowPrivilegeEscalation: false capabilities: add: [] drop: - ALL privileged: false readOnlyRootFilesystem: true runAsGroup: 568 runAsNonRoot: true runAsUser: 568 seccompProfile: type: RuntimeDefault pod: fsGroup: 568 fsGroupChangePolicy: OnRootMismatch supplementalGroups: [] sysctls: [] service: nextcloud: enabled: true ports: webui: enabled: true port: 80 primary: true targetPort: 80 targetSelector: nextcloud primary: true targetSelector: nextcloud type: ClusterIP nextcloud-nginx: enabled: true ports: webui-tls: enabled: true nodePort: 9002 port: 9002 targetPort: 9002 targetSelector: nginx targetSelector: nginx type: NodePort postgres: enabled: true ports: postgres: enabled: true port: 5432 primary: true targetPort: 5432 targetSelector: postgres targetSelector: postgres type: ClusterIP redis: enabled: true ports: redis: enabled: true port: 6379 primary: true targetPort: 6379 targetSelector: redis targetSelector: redis type: ClusterIP serviceAccount: {} workload: nextcloud: enabled: true podSpec: containers: nextcloud: enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: nextcloud-creds imageSelector: image lifecycle: postStart: command: - /bin/sh - -c - echo "Installing ..." apt update && apt install -y --no-install-recommends \ echo "Failed to install binary/binaries..." echo "Finished." type: exec primary: true probes: liveness: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 80 type: http readiness: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 80 type: http startup: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 80 type: http securityContext: capabilities: add: - CHOWN - DAC_OVERRIDE - FOWNER - NET_BIND_SERVICE - NET_RAW - SETGID - SETUID readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 0 runAsNonRoot: false runAsUser: 0 hostNetwork: false initContainers: postgres-wait: args: - -c - echo "Waiting for postgres to be ready" until pg_isready -h ${POSTGRES_HOST} -U ${POSTGRES_USER} -d ${POSTGRES_DB}; do sleep 2 done command: bash enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: postgres-creds imageSelector: postgresImage resources: limits: cpu: 500m memory: 256Mi type: init redis-wait: args: - -c - - echo "Waiting for redis to be ready" until redis-cli -h "$REDIS_HOST" -a "$REDIS_PASSWORD" -p ${REDIS_PORT_NUMBER:-6379} ping grep -q PONG; do echo "Waiting for redis to be ready. Sleeping 2 seconds..." sleep 2 done echo "Redis is ready!" command: bash enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: redis-creds imageSelector: redisImage resources: limits: cpu: 500m memory: 256Mi type: init securityContext: fsGroup: 33 primary: true type: Deployment nginx: enabled: true podSpec: containers: nginx: enabled: true imageSelector: nginxImage primary: true probes: liveness: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 9002 type: https readiness: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 9002 type: https startup: enabled: true httpHeaders: Host: localhost path: /status.php port: 9002 type: https securityContext: capabilities: add: - CHOWN - DAC_OVERRIDE - FOWNER - NET_BIND_SERVICE - NET_RAW - SETGID - SETUID readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 0 runAsNonRoot: false runAsUser: 0 hostNetwork: false initContainers: 01-wait-server: args: - -c - - echo "Waiting for [http://nextcloud:80]"; until wget --spider --quiet --timeout=3 --tries=1 http://nextcloud:80/status.php; do echo "Waiting for [http://nextcloud:80]"; sleep 2; done echo "Nextcloud is up: http://nextcloud:80"; command: - bash enabled: true imageSelector: bashImage type: init type: Deployment postgres: enabled: true podSpec: containers: postgres: enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: postgres-creds imageSelector: ncPostgresImage primary: true probes: liveness: command: - sh - -c - until pg_isready -U ${POSTGRES_USER} -h localhost; do sleep 2; done enabled: true type: exec readiness: command: - sh - -c - until pg_isready -U ${POSTGRES_USER} -h localhost; do sleep 2; done enabled: true type: exec startup: command: - sh - -c - until pg_isready -U ${POSTGRES_USER} -h localhost; do sleep 2; done enabled: true type: exec resources: limits: cpu: 4000m memory: 8Gi securityContext: readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 999 runAsUser: 999 initContainers: permissions: args: - -c - "for dir in /mnt/directories/; do\n if [ ! -d \"$dir\" ]; then\n echo \"[$dir] is not a directory, skipping\"\n continue\n fi\n\n echo \"Current Ownership and Permissions on [\"$dir\"]:\"\n echo \"chown: $(stat -c \"%u %g\" \"$dir\")\"\n echo \"chmod: $(stat -c \"%a\" \"$dir\")\" \n fix_owner=\"true\"\n fix_perms=\"true\"\n\n\n if [ \"$fix_owner\" = \"true\" ]; then\n echo \"Changing ownership to 999:999 on: [\"$dir\"]\"\n \ chown -R 999:999 \"$dir\"\n echo \"Finished changing ownership\"\n \ echo \"Ownership after changes:\"\n stat -c \"%u %g\" \"$dir\"\n \ fi\ndone\n" command: bash enabled: true imageSelector: bashImage resources: limits: cpu: 1000m memory: 512Mi securityContext: capabilities: add: - CHOWN readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 0 runAsNonRoot: false runAsUser: 0 type: install type: Deployment postgresbackup: annotations: helm.sh/hook: pre-upgrade helm.sh/hook-delete-policy: hook-succeeded helm.sh/hook-weight: "1" enabled: true podSpec: containers: postgresbackup: command: - sh - -c - echo 'Fetching password from config.php' # sed removes ' , => spaces and db from the string POSTGRES_USER=$(cat /nc-config/config/config.php grep 'dbuser' sed "s/dbuser ',=>//g") POSTGRES_PASSWORD=$(cat /nc-config/config/config.php grep 'dbpassword' sed "s/dbpassword ',=>//g") POSTGRES_DB=$(cat /nc-config/config/config.php grep 'dbname' sed "s/dbname ',=>//g") [ -n "$POSTGRES_USER" ] && [ -n "$POSTGRES_PASSWORD" ] && [ -n "$POSTGRES_DB" ] && echo 'User, Database and password fetched from config.php' until pg_isready -U ${POSTGRES_USER} -h ${POSTGRES_HOST}; do sleep 2; done echo "Creating backup of ${POSTGRES_DB} database" pg_dump --dbname=${POSTGRES_URL} --file /postgres_backup/${POSTGRES_DB}$(date +%Y-%m-%d_%H-%M-%S).sql echo "Failed to create backup" echo "Backup finished" enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: postgres-backup-creds imageSelector: ncPostgresImage primary: true probes: liveness: enabled: false readiness: enabled: false startup: enabled: false resources: limits: cpu: 2000m memory: 2Gi securityContext: readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 999 runAsUser: 999 initContainers: permissions: args: - -c - "for dir in /mnt/directories/*; do\n if [ ! -d \"$dir\" ]; then\n echo \"[$dir] is not a directory, skipping\"\n continue\n fi\n\n echo \"Current Ownership and Permissions on [\"$dir\"]:\"\n echo \"chown: $(stat -c \"%u %g\" \"$dir\")\"\n echo \"chmod: $(stat -c \"%a\" \"$dir\")\" \n if [ $(stat -c %u \"$dir\") -eq 999 ] && [ $(stat -c %g \"$dir\") -eq 999 ]; then\n echo \"Ownership is correct. Skipping...\"\n fix_owner=\"false\"\n \ else\n echo \"Ownership is incorrect. Fixing...\"\n fix_owner=\"true\"\n \ fi\n\n\n if [ \"$fix_owner\" = \"true\" ]; then\n echo \"Changing ownership to 999:999 on: [\"$dir\"]\"\n chown -R 999:999 \"$dir\"\n \ echo \"Finished changing ownership\"\n echo \"Ownership after changes:\"\n \ stat -c \"%u %g\" \"$dir\"\n fi\ndone" command: bash enabled: true imageSelector: bashImage resources: limits: cpu: 1000m memory: 512Mi securityContext: capabilities: add: - CHOWN readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 0 runAsNonRoot: false runAsUser: 0 type: init restartPolicy: Never securityContext: fsGroup: "33" type: Job redis: enabled: true podSpec: containers: redis: enabled: true envFrom: - secretRef: name: redis-creds imageSelector: redisImage primary: true probes: liveness: command: - /bin/sh - -c - redis-cli -a "$REDIS_PASSWORD" -p ${REDIS_PORT_NUMBER:-6379} ping grep -q PONG enabled: true type: exec readiness: command: - /bin/sh - -c - redis-cli -a "$REDIS_PASSWORD" -p ${REDIS_PORT_NUMBER:-6379} ping grep -q PONG enabled: true type: exec startup: command: - /bin/sh - -c - redis-cli -a "$REDIS_PASSWORD" -p ${REDIS_PORT_NUMBER:-6379} ping grep -q PONG enabled: true type: exec resources: limits: cpu: 4000m memory: 8Gi securityContext: readOnlyRootFilesystem: false runAsGroup: 0 runAsNonRoot: false runAsUser: 1001 securityContext: fsGroup: 1001 type: Deployment See error above values.`

I always wondered why Paladin Danse called The Enclave a "traitorous group of rebels" when you talk to him. I remember simply thinking, "How can they be traitors if they were never apart of the Brotherhood to begin with?". I can understand the Brotherhood calling them rebels, due to history being written by the victor and if you accept that the Capital Wasteland is sovereign territory of the Brotherhood, at least when Elder Lyons arrives, then yes, the conflict can be seen as an act of rebellion by The Enclave against the Brotherhood (can The Enclave see the Brotherhood as rebels against the US government, sure but they didn't win so they can't control the historical narrative).
So, what are The Enclave betraying within the Brotherhood's eyes, exactly? Humanity? I think that the Brotherhood is a bit more pragmatic and precise when it comes to conceptions of "humanity" to disallow for the definition to be stretched so broadly as to consider the US government traitors at the time of Roger Maxson discovering the horrors of West Tek at Mariposa. It is also known that the Brotherhood rebelled against the government at the time, so The Enclave would have more of a justification for labelling the Brotherhood as traitors. We can also see that the Brotherhood doesn't call other enemy factions traitors such as the NCR, Caesar's Legion or the Institute, so what would make The Enclave so special as to be considered as "traitors"? I consider this to be a rather weak argument to understand how The Enclave are traitors...
Maybe it has to do with a series of internal betrayals within the Enclave itself? For example, Col. Autumn in Fallout 3 turning against President Eden? I suppose, this may be stronger than the first argument, but it confuses the intention of Danse labelling them as "traitors". Danse denoted that The Enclave are betrayers of the Brotherhood, not just themselves as an organization. So, that begs the question again "what exactly did The Enclave do to betray the Brotherhood?".
There is also a third option... Bethesda simply goofed and shouldn't have written the Brotherhood as understanding the conflict as an act of armed treason against a faction without a treasonous context. I prefer this argument as it makes the most sense and we can see that Bethesda has a history of doing strange things with the lore...
I just wanted to share my thoughts, I honestly think that all of the positions have their flaws and I am not invested in an absolute understanding of trying to understand what Paladin Danse meant, but it did make me very curious to think about it...
tl;dr:
Paladin Danse: The Enclave are "a traitorous group of rebels"
Me: wdym by that? 🤔

Hi guys, I've come here time to time for the past 7 or 8 months whenever I feel symptoms or anxious and I guess it's time I shared my story, as there could be some things I learned along the way that would be helpful for folks. I'm a 30 year old male. I took minoxidil for 5 years from the age of 25. Once that didn't seem to be working any more I tried to get oral minoxidil and my doctor told me to get on propecia instead. I told her I felt a little scared about that but she said I'd be fine. I've always had a good libido, maybe too good, like bordering on sex obsession.. so I figured if anything a little less libido might do me good. Soon after I started the propecia I got a concussion (mild) from a soccer ball, and that was after a weekend where I tripped on acid, so there were some things going on. I had also had pretty bad food poisoning some months ago that took forever to heal from with some lingering tummy problems. Anyway, I had weird symptoms after the concussion. I almost felt like, euphoric. It felt like my brain was just releasing all of its happy chemicals at once. Part of my euphoria was an absolute disinterest in sex, but I enjoyed that, I felt like I was attaining enlightenment or something. I was glowing and productive. After a week or so all of this went away and I went back to having normal sexual health and normal (bad) mental health and I didn't really think about it again. Fast forward 6 months. I quit my job because I am depressed about it and life in NYC is suffocating me, I want to travel the world before it burns down, in the interim I move back home to get my affairs sorted. I had to dye my hair for some short film, and I hated it, when I cut it my hair didn't look good, seemed I'd lost a lot more than I thought, and that made me sad so I was researching finasteride (does this stuff even work?) and then I accidentally found this community on reddit... and it freaked me out. I had a full blown panic attack reading these posts. Then I started thinking about things that had been happening in my life. Increased anxiety and depression. Chronic prostatitis. And the development of IBS, especially bad after drinking alcohol, which actually led me to give up drinking for a while. My sexual health was fine, but I think the anxiety from reading the reddit posts gave me some weird sexual side effects, not joking. That same day I started feeling an achey tingling in my balls, as if they were swelling up. I remember going on a walk with a girl I was seeing and I just felt so off and couldn't even enjoy walking because of the heaviness of my balls and I didn't want to sleep with her at all anymore. I immediately gave up both fin and min, kind of sad because I had just bought a years supply of the stuff from one of those new websites that makes it easy. So with all this happening, I had also been planing to ride my bicycle around the world. I left for India about a week after cutting the hair drugs and cutting alcohol. And then I'm in India. Without alcohol, my IBS pretty much completely healed. I was making very nice poos. The cycling irritated my prostate though. I started off by going over the Himalayas which involved a lot of climbing and therefore a lot of my groin pushing hard into a bike saddle. Still, I was able to pleasure myself in the tent successfully, which I only did to keep tabs on my progress of course. Things were looking up. Leaving work and NYC and America already did a 180 on all of my mental health issues, as did quitting alcohol. My memory improved. I was reading and writing and thinking clearly. I was a happy guy. After finishing the himalayas I had a few beers about it with some friends to celebrate. A few days later I got some cramps in my abdomen, and then the next day severe food poisoning. Both ends type. So bad. Had to keep going though. I kept cycling through the mountains. For two weeks I had diarrhea, and then that turned into regular old IBS again, like always running to the bathroom never knowing if I'll make it on time and the poop is this sludge like texture. It sucked. I was also sad about my hair, as it looked like I was losing all my gains. I bought a fin/min topical mixture and started using that while I was in a meditation retreat. I started having that weird euphoric feeling again, but I attributed it to the meditation, which was really life changing but no need to elaborate on that. I also started feeling prostatitis again (burning sensation tip of penis, feels like you want to pee). I had fixed the tilt on my bike saddle to eliminate prostate issues so it was weird that it was coming back again. I figured maybe coming from sitting in meditative posture all day. I guess I was in denial, but after about a month or so I figured it must be the finasteride so I gave it up again and switched to just minoxidil. But then, the minoxidil was making me feel weird too. I remember one time, the very same night I applied minoxidil it felt like my asshole was falling out, like I had a rectal prolapse, now I think it's hemorrhoids. I had the hemorrhoid feeling for a while. Keep in mind, my main issue at this time remains the IBS. I also had very low libido but honestly I rarely saw attractive women on my trip so who knows. So I kept cycling, I cycled all the way from the North in KashmiLadakh to Kerala, the south. My IBS never went away. I tried all sorts of things for my hair. I went to an ayurvedic place and they put leeches on my scalp which was hilarious. They also gave me this weird ayurvedic oil with no real instructions. I think that must have had some DHT blocker in it because it gave me the weird feelings too, especially the hemorrhoid feeling. I started drinking oregano oil and taking copious amounts of probiotics, which would always help for a couple days against the IBS but I think the heat of the Indian sun killed them off while they were in my saddle bags. Then I found this new chemical combo in South India, starring redensyl and backed up with procapil and anagain. I figured what the hell why not. It came with a dht blocker gummy vitamin but it was just green tea with biotin and zinc so whatever. I started feeling a lot better on that. One random week I started getting insane erections and it felt like my dick grew an inch. Can't really explain what was going on there. Prior to that the erections were meh and I would cum sometimes in a half-noodle like state which was very sad. Anyway, that didn't last forever. Once I got to the very south I decided I needed a full system reboot and went to another ayurvedic place and got something called a panchakarma. In panchakarma you go on a very restrictive diet and they massage all of your body toxins into your gut, they make you drink a ton of ghee to help do this, and then they purge you, so it all comes out of your butt, and then in my case I got 5 medicated enemas. It's a two week process, sometimes longer. I know it sounds crazy but it definitely makes you feel better. I was also doing yoga and meditating every day which was super helpful. After that my IBS went away. I had to keep to the diet for two weeks after: no sugar, caffeine, gluten, alcohol or meat. After the two weeks I dipped my toes back into all those things and my gut stayed solid. Crazy. I also felt good sexually. I started taking another hair serum, this one with redensyl, anagain, procapil, and pumpkin seed oil. Still felt great. I flew to Malaysia and started cycling there. In Malaysia I just started feeling better and better. No IBS, huge erections again. In fact, I became obsessed with sex again. And it was depressing. I actually started missing the days when I had no libido in India. I was really able to focus on other things. Sex is such a waste of mental energy. I could drink alcohol again. And so I did, and had no issues. Which was great but I also was kind of sad about it, am I just going to be a sex-obsessed booze hound again? Have I learned nothing? Anyway, the story continues. No one is bald in Malaysia so I had to order more of my chemicals to feed my hopeless hair serum addiction. I found a crazy one that was stacked with redensyl, anagain, procapil, baicapil, capixyl, biotin, aminexil, rice water, rosemary oil, and .... saw palmetto. The saw palmetto was maybe .3% so I figured it probably wouldn't have any effect, especially since I was fine with the pumpkin seed oil. Anyway, 10 days into that serum I got the tingly swelly feeling in my balls again and some prostatitis too! Oy, back to the start it would seem. I'm mainly just upset because I ordered 3 bottles of that stuff and had to pay taxes on the import because it came from India, and now I guess I have to throw it all out? Whatever. Anyway, you can call me an idiot, but by using my body as a guinea pig I believe I've uncovered some interesting info for everyone. Just as the early men who figured out which berries were poisonous, I serve humanity with my tragic misadventures. Still cycling, hoping to go around the world and find new ways to mess with my hormones and keep some of my hair. My advice from this, do something to fully cleanse your system, like the panchakarma. We've basically tampered too much with our settings and need to do a factory reset. You can do a lot of that stuff on your own, fasting, purging, enemas. It stimulates your body into healing itself. Hell, go to India. In India doctors actually listen to you and treat you holistically, and everything is cheap! You can get rifaximin for 2 dollars should you desire. You don't need to keep getting gaslit by expensive urologists and gastros in the states your whole life. Just do something crazy. You'll stay depressed if you linger on the internet for too long. And if you're stuck in a job/life you hate, take PFS as a sign and excuse to be selfish and get out of it, think of yourself as a terminally ill person that just wants to live life for the little time they have left. Obviously I still have no idea if any of what I've experienced is actually PFS or if it's maybe related to the original food poisoning or the concussion or maybe even Long Covid. No clue. But I do think a lot of my symptoms have been consistent with what you guys talk about. Either way, whatever it is, treat your body well and you may heal. I hope? I'm currently sitting on a swollen sack hoping that the PFS Gods will be merciful once more, but I know I don't deserve it. My desire to have hair still hasn't gone away, and I keep thinking maybe if I try just one more thing that'll be the thing that works. And that's what keeps pulling me back into this mess. But at the end of the day I can thank PFS for forcing me to make the big life changes that have made me a much happier person today, regardless of the state of my pelvic area.

First thing first, to me are human labels for tools... nothing more.
But I don't understand to me why having a Book of shadow, for my use.
Am I the only?

This week's book club list is as follows (enjoy reading and comment which your favourite is below):
​

1. "Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More" by Vitale J., Len I.H. - If it seems like you work hard but never get anywhere, maybe the problem is something within you. Maybe the limitations holding you back come from inside you, not from the outside world. Zero Limits presents a proven way to break through those self-imposed limitations to achieve more in life than you ever dreamed.
2. "The Probiotic Solution: Nature's Best-Kept Secret for Radiant Health" by Mark A., Dr Brudnak - In The Probiotic Solution, Dr. Mark Brudnak states a greater truth: "Disease begins from an imbalance in the body." Good health is a dance on the tightrope of balance. Lose your balance for long enough-and you plunge toward crisis-if not death. Find and maintain balance-and you can enjoy the fruits of a happy, healthy life. It's the law of nature.Whatever causes imbalance, causes ill health-be it cancer, heart disease, autism, diabetes or obesity.
3. "The Bible secret of divine health" by Gordon Lindsay - In this book is revealed one of the greatest secrets of practical living found in the Bible. It recognizes Divine healing as God’s promise for the believer but—and this is important—it goes further. Much teaching on Divine healing misses the profound truth that God intends that his children should not be sick at all—that they should prosper and be in health even as their soul prospers.
4. "The Low Carb Myth: Free Yourself from Carb Myths, and Discover the Secret Keys That Really Determine Your Health and Fat Loss Destiny " by Whitten, Ari; Smith, Dr Wade; D, M - Do Carbs Make You Fat, Hungry, and Lazy? Read to find out.
5. "The Secret Language of Your Body: The Essential Guide to Health and Wellness" by Segal, Inna - The Secret Language of your Body is a comprehensive guide to healing. In this long-awaited book, Inna Segal unveils the secrets to understanding the messages of the body and reveals the underlying energetic causes of over 200 symptoms and medical conditions. This powerful handbook explores almost every conceivable part of the human body, delving deeply into the possible reasons for problems in any given area of the body and offering a unique, step-by-step method to assist in returning the body to its natural state of health.
6. "Ikigai Diet: The Secret of Japanese Diet to Health and Longevity" by Sachiaki Takamiya - Are you interested in natural food, organic lifestyle, or macrobiotic diet? If so, this is a book for you. It has the most recent information on traditional Japanese dietary culture. If you want to be healthy, the optimal way is to model the best of the best in the field. Who are the healthiest people on the planet then? Well, Japan is considered to be the country with the longest life expectancy, and it is featured in many books including The Blue Zones and Ikigai.
7. "Dumping Iron: How to Ditch This Secret Killer and Reclaim Your Health" by P. D. Mangan - How to Ditch This Secret Killer and Reclaim Your Health is a game-changer in health and fitness. The accumulation of excess iron in the body, a condition that affects perhaps the majority of adults, leads to much higher risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity, brain diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and shorter lifespan. Dumping Iron shows how to measure your iron levels, what the test numbers mean, and how to go about lowering iron if necessary.
8. "Breathe Smart: The Secret to Happiness, Health and Long Life" by Aaron Hoopes - Learn the secret Yoga and Tai Chi masters have known for centuries and discover one of the most fundamental dimensions of good health: proper breathing. Breathe Smart shows us how, through deep, conscious breathing we can raise the level of oxygen in the body and reap the benefits of increased energy, better health, and a stronger sense of well-being.
9. "Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth Cookbook (Simple, Delicious Recipes for Health & Longevity)" by Devanando Otfried Weise - This book is excellent for those who wish to embrace Food Combining i.e. what has become known as the Hay Diet. It is where one avoids mixing starch-based foods and protein-based foods in the same meal.
10. "The Calcium Factor: The Scientific Secret of Health and Youth" by Robert R. Barefoot; Carl J. Reich - Did you know that scientists have found that cancer thrives in an acidic medium, but cannot survive in an alkaline medium? Did you know that with vitamin and mineral supplements, you can lower the acidity of your body fluids and become healthy? Here's a challenge: If the answer to any or all of these questions is "No", then you owe it to yourself to read The Calcium Factor, not only for the sake of your own health, but for the sake of your family and friends.

So, which one are you picking up next or have read? Let us know with a comment and upvote and share this post and our sub bodychemistry to stay tuned for more reading lists every week!
Love, marmalada

Sleepless nights, tossing and turning, waking up groggy—sound familiar? If you're struggling with sleep, you're not alone. In today's fast-paced world, quality rest can feel like a luxury. But what if I told you there's a solution at your fingertips? Enter online sleep consulting—a revolutionary approach to tackling sleep troubles from the comfort of your own home.

Introduction to Sleep Troubles

Understanding the Importance of Quality Sleep
Sleep isn't just about closing your eyes and resting; it's a vital process that rejuvenates both your body and mind. From boosting immunity to enhancing cognitive function, the benefits of a good night's sleep are endless.
Common Sleep Issues Faced Today
However, with the rise of screens, stress, and busy schedules, achieving that elusive eight hours can seem impossible. Insomnia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome—these are just a few of the sleep disorders plaguing millions worldwide.

The Rise of Online Sleep Consulting

Explaining the Concept of Online Sleep Consulting
So, what exactly is online sleep consulting? Think of it as having a personal sleep coach available at the click of a button. Through virtual consultations, sleep experts assess your sleep habits, identify underlying issues, and design personalized plans to help you reclaim your ZZZs.
Benefits of Seeking Help Online
The beauty of online consulting lies in its accessibility. No need to commute to appointments or rearrange your schedule; you can access professional guidance from anywhere with an internet connection. Plus, with a growing number of certified sleep consultants offering their services online, finding the right fit has never been easier.

Meet Your Online Sleep Consultant

Qualifications and Expertise
But who are these sleep consultants, and what qualifies them to guide your slumber? Rest assured, they're not just self-proclaimed "sleep gurus." Many hold advanced degrees in fields like psychology, sleep medicine, or counseling, and undergo rigorous training to become certified sleep coaches.
How They Can Help You
From analyzing your sleep patterns to providing practical strategies, online sleep consultants are your partners in the quest for better sleep. Whether you're struggling with erratic sleep schedules or battling chronic insomnia, they're equipped with the knowledge and tools to address your unique needs.

Understanding Your Sleep Patterns

Importance of Understanding Sleep Cycles
One key aspect of online sleep consulting is gaining insight into your sleep architecture. By deciphering your sleep stages and rhythms, consultants can pinpoint areas for improvement and tailor interventions accordingly.
Tools and Techniques Used by Consultants
So, how do they do it? Through a combination of sleep diaries, questionnaires, and cutting-edge technology, consultants gather data on your sleep habits and preferences. Armed with this information, they devise customized strategies to optimize your sleep quality.

Customized Sleep Plans

Tailoring Strategies to Your Unique Needs
There's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to sleep. That's why online Sleep consultant online take a personalized approach to crafting your sleep plan. Whether you're a night owl or an early bird, they'll work with your natural rhythms to develop strategies that stick.
Personalized Recommendations for Better Sleep
From setting a consistent bedtime to creating a calming pre-sleep routine, your sleep plan will be tailored to address your specific challenges and goals. Whether you're aiming for more restful nights or seeking relief from sleep disorders, your consultant will be by your side every step of the way.

Addressing Sleep Disorders

Identifying and Managing Sleep Disorders
For those battling more serious sleep issues like insomnia or sleep apnea, online consulting offers a lifeline. Consultants are trained to recognize the signs of sleep disorders and can provide guidance on managing symptoms, accessing treatment, and improving overall sleep hygiene.
Strategies for Coping with Insomnia, Sleep Apnea, etc.
Whether it's cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) or lifestyle modifications for sleep apnea, consultants are well-versed in evidence-based interventions to tackle a range of sleep disorders. With their support, you can take proactive steps towards better sleep and better health.

Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Tips for Optimizing Your Bedroom for Sleep
Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for sleep, free from distractions and conducive to relaxation. From blackout curtains to white noise machines, consultants can offer recommendations for creating a sleep-friendly environment that promotes restorative rest.
Using Technology to Enhance Sleep Quality
In the digital age, technology isn't just part of the problem—it can also be part of the solution. Consultants can introduce you to apps, wearables, and other gadgets designed to track your sleep, monitor your progress, and even lull you to sleep with soothing sounds or guided meditations.

Developing Healthy Sleep Habits

Importance of Consistent Bedtime Routine
Just like Pavlov's dogs salivated at the sound of a bell, your body responds to cues that it's time to sleep. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine signals to your brain that it's time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night.
Tips for Relaxation and Stress Reduction Before Bed
In today's hyper-connected world, unwinding before bed can be easier said than done. That's where relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or gentle stretching come in handy. By calming your mind and body, you can ease into sleep more effortlessly.

Diet and Exercise for Better Sleep

Impact of Diet and Exercise on Sleep Quality
You are what you eat—and how you move. Diet and exercise play a crucial role in regulating your sleep-wake cycle and promoting restful slumber. From limiting caffeine and heavy meals before bed to incorporating regular physical activity into your routine, small changes can yield big improvements in your sleep quality.
Recommendations for Improving Sleep Through Lifestyle Changes
Consultants don't just focus on what happens between the sheets—they're interested in your entire lifestyle. By addressing factors like diet, exercise, stress, and screen time, they can help you create habits that support healthy sleep and overall well-being.

Tracking Progress and Adjustments

Using Apps and Devices to Monitor Sleep Patterns
In the age of smartphones and smartwatches, tracking your sleep has never been easier. Consultants may recommend apps or wearable devices that monitor your sleep patterns, providing valuable insights into your nightly habits and trends.
How Consultants Modify Plans Based on Progress
But it's not just about collecting data—it's about using it to drive meaningful change. Consultants will regularly review your progress and adjust your sleep plan as needed, ensuring that you stay on track towards your sleep goals.

Benefits of Online vs. In-Person Consulting

Convenience and Accessibility of Online Services
Gone are the days of waiting weeks for an appointment or trekking across town to see a specialist. With online consulting, help is just a click away. Whether you're a busy parent, a frequent traveler, or simply prefer the comfort of your own home, online services offer unparalleled convenience and flexibility.
Effectiveness Compared to Traditional Methods
But don't let the lack of face-to-face interaction fool you—online consulting is just as effective as in-person sessions, if not more so. Research has shown that virtual interventions can produce significant improvements in sleep quality, making them a viable alternative for those unable to access traditional services.

Success Stories: Real-Life Examples

Testimonials from Clients Who Improved Their Sleep
Still skeptical? Hear it straight from the source. Countless individuals have transformed their sleep and their lives with the help of online sleep consulting. From chronic insomniacs to weary shift workers, the proof is in the pudding—better sleep is within reach.
Case Studies Highlighting Positive Outcomes
Take, for example, Sarah, a busy executive struggling to juggle work, family, and sleep. After just a few weeks of working with an online sleep consultant, she's sleeping soundly through the night, waking up refreshed, and tackling her days with newfound energy and focus.

Cost and Accessibility

Affordability of Online Sleep Consulting
You might be wondering, "How much does it cost?" Surprisingly, online sleep consulting is more affordable than you might think. With a range of pricing options to fit every budget, there's no reason to put a price on your health and well-being.
Availability of Services Worldwide
And the best part? Online sleep consulting isn't limited by geography. Whether you're in New York or New Zealand, you can access top-tier sleep expertise without ever leaving your home. The world is your oyster—and a good night's sleep is just a click away.

Getting Started: Tips for Finding the Right Consultant

Factors to Consider When Choosing an Online Sleep Consultant
Ready to take the plunge? Before diving in, consider factors like credentials, experience, and specialization. Look for consultants who are certified by reputable organizations and have a track record of success in addressing your specific sleep concerns.
Questions to Ask Before Committing
Still unsure? Don't hesitate to ask questions. A good consultant will be happy to provide information about their approach, methodology, and success rate. After all, your sleep is too important to leave to chance.

Conclusion

Sleep shouldn't be a luxury reserved for the lucky few—it's a fundamental human need that impacts every aspect of our lives. With the rise of online sleep consulting, help is more accessible than ever before. Whether you're struggling with insomnia, sleep apnea, or simply can't seem to switch off at night, there's a solution out there waiting for you. So why wait? Take the first step towards better sleep today and revolutionize your sleep routine for good.

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

1. Is online sleep consulting covered by insurance?

• While coverage varies depending on your provider and policy, some insurance plans may reimburse for online sleep consulting services. It's worth checking with your insurer to see what's covered.

1. How long does it take to see results from online sleep consulting?

• Results can vary depending on individual circumstances, but many clients report improvements in sleep quality within a few weeks of starting their consultation.

1. Can online sleep consulting help with children's sleep issues?

• Absolutely! Many consultants specialize in pediatric sleep and can provide guidance on establishing healthy sleep habits for children of all ages.

1. Are online sleep consultants qualified to diagnose sleep disorders?

• While consultants can identify common signs of sleep disorders, they are not licensed medical professionals and cannot provide formal diagnoses. If you suspect you have a sleep disorder, it's important to consult with a physician or sleep specialist for proper evaluation and treatment.

1. What if I'm not tech-savvy? Can I still benefit from online sleep consulting?

• Absolutely! Most consultants offer user-friendly platforms and provide support every step of the way. Whether you're a digital native or a technophobe, you'll find online sleep consulting easy to navigate and rewarding in its results.

Inside
Sleepless nights, tossing and turning, waking up groggy—sound familiar? If you're struggling with sleep, you're not alone. In today's fast-paced world, quality rest can feel like a luxury. But what if I told you there's a solution at your fingertips? Enter online sleep consulting—a revolutionary approach to tackling sleep troubles from the comfort of your own home.

Introduction to Sleep Troubles

Understanding the Importance of Quality Sleep
Sleep isn't just about closing your eyes and resting; it's a vital process that rejuvenates both your body and mind. From boosting immunity to enhancing cognitive function, the benefits of a good night's sleep are endless.
Common Sleep Issues Faced Today
However, with the rise of screens, stress, and busy schedules, achieving that elusive eight hours can seem impossible. Insomnia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome—these are just a few of the sleep disorders plaguing millions worldwide.

The Rise of Online Sleep Consulting

Explaining the Concept of Online Sleep Consulting
So, what exactly is online sleep consulting? Think of it as having a personal sleep coach available at the click of a button. Through virtual consultations, sleep experts assess your sleep habits, identify underlying issues, and design personalized plans to help you reclaim your ZZZs.
Benefits of Seeking Help Online
The beauty of online consulting lies in its accessibility. No need to commute to appointments or rearrange your schedule; you can access professional guidance from anywhere with an internet connection. Plus, with a growing number of certified sleep consultants offering their services online, finding the right fit has never been easier.

Meet Your Online Sleep Consultant

Qualifications and Expertise
But who are these sleep consultants, and what qualifies them to guide your slumber? Rest assured, they're not just self-proclaimed "sleep gurus." Many hold advanced degrees in fields like psychology, sleep medicine, or counseling, and undergo rigorous training to become certified sleep coaches.
How They Can Help You
From analyzing your sleep patterns to providing practical strategies, online sleep consultants are your partners in the quest for better sleep. Whether you're struggling with erratic sleep schedules or battling chronic insomnia, they're equipped with the knowledge and tools to address your unique needs.

Understanding Your Sleep Patterns

Importance of Understanding Sleep Cycles
One key aspect of online sleep consulting is gaining insight into your sleep architecture. By deciphering your sleep stages and rhythms, consultants can pinpoint areas for improvement and tailor interventions accordingly.
Tools and Techniques Used by Consultants
So, how do they do it? Through a combination of sleep diaries, questionnaires, and cutting-edge technology, consultants gather data on your sleep habits and preferences. Armed with this information, they devise customized strategies to optimize your sleep quality.

Customized Sleep Plans

Tailoring Strategies to Your Unique Needs
There's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to sleep. That's why online Sleep consultant online take a personalized approach to crafting your sleep plan. Whether you're a night owl or an early bird, they'll work with your natural rhythms to develop strategies that stick.
Personalized Recommendations for Better Sleep
From setting a consistent bedtime to creating a calming pre-sleep routine, your sleep plan will be tailored to address your specific challenges and goals. Whether you're aiming for more restful nights or seeking relief from sleep disorders, your consultant will be by your side every step of the way.

Addressing Sleep Disorders

Identifying and Managing Sleep Disorders
For those battling more serious sleep issues like insomnia or sleep apnea, online consulting offers a lifeline. Consultants are trained to recognize the signs of sleep disorders and can provide guidance on managing symptoms, accessing treatment, and improving overall sleep hygiene.
Strategies for Coping with Insomnia, Sleep Apnea, etc.
Whether it's cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) or lifestyle modifications for sleep apnea, consultants are well-versed in evidence-based interventions to tackle a range of sleep disorders. With their support, you can take proactive steps towards better sleep and better health.

Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Tips for Optimizing Your Bedroom for Sleep
Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for sleep, free from distractions and conducive to relaxation. From blackout curtains to white noise machines, consultants can offer recommendations for creating a sleep-friendly environment that promotes restorative rest.
Using Technology to Enhance Sleep Quality
In the digital age, technology isn't just part of the problem—it can also be part of the solution. Consultants can introduce you to apps, wearables, and other gadgets designed to track your sleep, monitor your progress, and even lull you to sleep with soothing sounds or guided meditations.

Developing Healthy Sleep Habits

Importance of Consistent Bedtime Routine
Just like Pavlov's dogs salivated at the sound of a bell, your body responds to cues that it's time to sleep. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine signals to your brain that it's time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night.
Tips for Relaxation and Stress Reduction Before Bed
In today's hyper-connected world, unwinding before bed can be easier said than done. That's where relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or gentle stretching come in handy. By calming your mind and body, you can ease into sleep more effortlessly.

Diet and Exercise for Better Sleep

Impact of Diet and Exercise on Sleep Quality
You are what you eat—and how you move. Diet and exercise play a crucial role in regulating your sleep-wake cycle and promoting restful slumber. From limiting caffeine and heavy meals before bed to incorporating regular physical activity into your routine, small changes can yield big improvements in your sleep quality.
Recommendations for Improving Sleep Through Lifestyle Changes
Consultants don't just focus on what happens between the sheets—they're interested in your entire lifestyle. By addressing factors like diet, exercise, stress, and screen time, they can help you create habits that support healthy sleep and overall well-being.

Tracking Progress and Adjustments

Using Apps and Devices to Monitor Sleep Patterns
In the age of smartphones and smartwatches, tracking your sleep has never been easier. Consultants may recommend apps or wearable devices that monitor your sleep patterns, providing valuable insights into your nightly habits and trends.
How Consultants Modify Plans Based on Progress
But it's not just about collecting data—it's about using it to drive meaningful change. Consultants will regularly review your progress and adjust your sleep plan as needed, ensuring that you stay on track towards your sleep goals.

Benefits of Online vs. In-Person Consulting

Convenience and Accessibility of Online Services
Gone are the days of waiting weeks for an appointment or trekking across town to see a specialist. With online consulting, help is just a click away. Whether you're a busy parent, a frequent traveler, or simply prefer the comfort of your own home, online services offer unparalleled convenience and flexibility.
Effectiveness Compared to Traditional Methods
But don't let the lack of face-to-face interaction fool you—online consulting is just as effective as in-person sessions, if not more so. Research has shown that virtual interventions can produce significant improvements in sleep quality, making them a viable alternative for those unable to access traditional services.

Success Stories: Real-Life Examples

Testimonials from Clients Who Improved Their Sleep
Still skeptical? Hear it straight from the source. Countless individuals have transformed their sleep and their lives with the help of online sleep consulting. From chronic insomniacs to weary shift workers, the proof is in the pudding—better sleep is within reach.
Case Studies Highlighting Positive Outcomes
Take, for example, Sarah, a busy executive struggling to juggle work, family, and sleep. After just a few weeks of working with an online sleep consultant, she's sleeping soundly through the night, waking up refreshed, and tackling her days with newfound energy and focus.

Cost and Accessibility

Affordability of Online Sleep Consulting
You might be wondering, "How much does it cost?" Surprisingly, online sleep consulting is more affordable than you might think. With a range of pricing options to fit every budget, there's no reason to put a price on your health and well-being.
Availability of Services Worldwide
And the best part? Online sleep consulting isn't limited by geography. Whether you're in New York or New Zealand, you can access top-tier sleep expertise without ever leaving your home. The world is your oyster—and a good night's sleep is just a click away.

Getting Started: Tips for Finding the Right Consultant

Factors to Consider When Choosing an Online Sleep Consultant
Ready to take the plunge? Before diving in, consider factors like credentials, experience, and specialization. Look for consultants who are certified by reputable organizations and have a track record of success in addressing your specific sleep concerns.
Questions to Ask Before Committing
Still unsure? Don't hesitate to ask questions. A good consultant will be happy to provide information about their approach, methodology, and success rate. After all, your sleep is too important to leave to chance.

Conclusion

Sleep shouldn't be a luxury reserved for the lucky few—it's a fundamental human need that impacts every aspect of our lives. With the rise of online sleep consulting, help is more accessible than ever before. Whether you're struggling with insomnia, sleep apnea, or simply can't seem to switch off at night, there's a solution out there waiting for you. So why wait? Take the first step towards better sleep today and revolutionize your sleep routine for good.

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

1. Is online sleep consulting covered by insurance?

• While coverage varies depending on your provider and policy, some insurance plans may reimburse for online sleep consulting services. It's worth checking with your insurer to see what's covered.

1. How long does it take to see results from online sleep consulting?

• Results can vary depending on individual circumstances, but many clients report improvements in sleep quality within a few weeks of starting their consultation.

1. Can online sleep consulting help with children's sleep issues?

• Absolutely! Many consultants specialize in pediatric sleep and can provide guidance on establishing healthy sleep habits for children of all ages.

1. Are online sleep consultants qualified to diagnose sleep disorders?

• While consultants can identify common signs of sleep disorders, they are not licensed medical professionals and cannot provide formal diagnoses. If you suspect you have a sleep disorder, it's important to consult with a physician or sleep specialist for proper evaluation and treatment.

1. What if I'm not tech-savvy? Can I still benefit from online sleep consulting?

• Absolutely! Most consultants offer user-friendly platforms and provide support every step of the way. Whether you're a digital native or a technophobe, you'll find online sleep consulting easy to navigate and rewarding in its results.

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Sorry for the very long post, if anything this is for the sub offmychest but I feel it’s needed with people who understand the industry
5 years ago I landed a job on a film - I wanted to go either into production or locations (I had been told locations was an interesting department) - finding locations? Sounds great?? 😂 my passion was directing but I knew there was no easy way into this so my plan was to become a PA and go from there.
Anyway my life carried on in locations and obviously when you first start you are the dogs body but whatever it’s great, you’re learning and getting great experience. Year goes by, I’m like I do not want to be putting up EZ ups for much longer, how do I get some scouting experience (because I’m a creative and wanted to be doing the creative part).
So someone puts me in touch with someone who starts getting me on commercials scouting. I do this in between the films/tv shows I’m working on. In 2021 I really, really want to be getting out of locations and I’m about to make my next move. Soon after finishing the last job I’m on and ready to make my next move, I get a call from the person who I scout for on commercials and they want to add me to their books but said I’d still be freelance. I really enjoyed working on their jobs and didn’t want to ruin that relationship. I kind of reluctantly said yes.
I’ve been working with them since 2021 and they’ve given me so much work I didn’t / couldn’t go back to film and tv - not a problem really because I was working my way up the ladder to a location manager and the jobs were kind of easier. Also, making more money.
People now know me for a Location Manager but my passion still lies in directing. I’ve lost my creative identity and haven’t directed something properly since before I started in this career.
I feel pressurised by this agency/company to keep working with them but the job is making me unhappy.. I need to keep them on side because I need to stay afloat financially.
I’ve been taking breaks to try get back in touch with my creative self and every time the creativity starts to come back I feel SO happy.
Then the agency keep asking my availability and questioning how dedicated I am to them so I feel pressurised to go back to work. And every time I do, every job completely bulldoses any goal I had set - whether that be eating healthy, exercising, morning pages, creative motives.
I briefly told the director of the company on the phone the other day to reassure him any time I am taking breaks it’s because of this ^. In an ideal world I would stop working for them completely and just focus on the next step to directing but.. I can’t lose that work because otherwise I’ll lose my flat and my life. So I’m trying to just limit the work I do but like I said it’s hard to stay consistent with goals.
I would just like some advice, or if anyone else feels like this. I feel stuck but crazy ambitious to still get where I want to be.
Side note - I have read back this post and feel it may be insensitive to the current climate in the industry at the moment. Please don’t get me wrong I am super grateful to have this work but I’m not passionate about my job, and someone who loves it deserves it more than me. All I want is to be happy in what I do and I feel grateful I know what I want to do and that doing that particular job makes me feel alive. Anyone who is suffering in Film and TV, make your way to short form because the short form world is still very much thriving!

Here. And I’d like to start by noticing that Steve Sailer is obviously Delicious Taco’s dad. Having said this.
Good episode. Lots of engagement which I suppose is a net positive for all involved. Obviously a lot of the injury stems from a distortion. The episode’s content fantasized and in fantasy warped into something constituting a threat (no, an outright assault) to the listener’s person. One can simply listen to the episode and see that some (in fact the bulk) of the negative responses are from people reacting to some spectral absent-presence rather than to the people actually saying over the course of the 2 hour long episode and to what was being discussed. The voices and the discourse have instead been shaped into sonic receptacle containing the reflection of something wildly ugly. Injuriously ugly.
Past few days have been brutal. Found myself doom-viewing the main sub, should know better at this age. Feels like I’ve been transmogrified into an absurd and wretched thing. Must've transgressed against a gnome or something. Fascinating to think about.
I would like nothing more than to shame you.
Miami Summer is a killer. Urine is blood-orange. And my mother deserves better sons.
Why would A&D do this?
Witnessing the rankest comments. In bygone age I’d found them tolerable. Having imagined them delivered by high society homosexual. A damned dandy; chubby, sinister, and flamboyant. Capri on a stick limply held between index and middle fingers, twirling wrist ash’ing on expensive Persian rug. The blurry ghosts of his mother and the kid brother who drowned in the pond all those years ago glaring at him from far-off corner. Clearing throat he launches into sing-song slander head peeling back cackling at his own wickedness. Vile and venomous but charming. Instead what we get is 30+ year old mentally-ill men. Men whose Twitter activity has atrophied their cock and balls. Genitals withering away like the Worker's State, in its place a gasping cloaca, worry not I can clock em from miles away. The odious cloaca-havers are soon joined by ruined drug-addled children and the other women. They talk about A&D in disgusting ways. This is unfair and nasty. I confess to being angry. Sweating blood-specked kerosene. Let the scent fill up the empty air between us. My wrath singeing those overgrown nose hairs.
Of the two I think Anna is the one that inspires the harshest parasocial spite. So much so that I’d recommend she take some protective measures against evil eye and tongue. Maybe take baths with hyssop herb, rose water perfume, and holy water.
It’s as if Anna Khachiyan is a Giant Floating Vagina with teeth and a noticeable overbite. Viewed from another angle it transforms into a Madonna encircled by cherubim. Perhaps we are cruel to Anna in order to be kind to our mothers.
All very pre-Oedipal.
Had to step back and parse it out. Anna draws a comparison between herself and Sailer while also asking him a great question,
07:12-07:49
Anna: “I started reading it during the pandemic because it was the pandemic. I was pregnant and bored and I really relate to you as a person who everyone thinks is like evil and monstrous on the internet, but is actually like quite agreeable and mild mannered in real life. And I was going to ask you this question last, but I may as well just ask it now. How do you feel about your new found popularity? And especially, how do you feel about the fact that you have been effectively adopted by or identified with the hard right?”
The first part of the above extract, the sympathetic recognition, brings to mind a bit of 20th century Hermetic theory concerning harmful thought-forms. Our unconscious self-destructive impulses animating the fantasy-phantasm of the other. Inhabiting their shape. Gaining a degree of autonomy. This artificial entity is vampiric by default, provoking what the Czech magician Franz Bardon calls a "magical persecutory complex"... He goes into detail about such entities in Step VI of his seminal work, Initiation into Hermetics. Describing different types of artificial elementals and phantasms along with details on how to consciously go about creating and dissipating them. One of those artificial psychic entities, the one that concerns us, he calls the schemata. Bardon details two variants, one connected with paranoid persecutory fantasies and the other with erotic obsession. The first type comes about when someone who is “easily excitable, easily influenced or self-important” (Narcissist?) has a run in with another person who has, to put it mildly, a memorable visage and dark personality. The schemata is born from the phantasm modeled after this demonic-looking disagreeable person. The victim begins to attribute all kinds of minor inconveniences to the influence of the ugly person. Deludes themselves into thinking that the ugly/disagreeable person is a powerful black magician. Everything appears to reinforce their paranoid delusions. The schema grows in power feeding off the anxieties of their creatohost. The person might end up committing suicide. This was the persecutory schemas desire, having achieved its goal Bardon notes, “how great is the shock when such a spirit realizes on the mental plane that he has committed a very successful magical suicide. What a bitter disappointment! The demonic looking person, however, has no idea what happened; he was actually only the means to an end.”
God gave us eyes so that we might notice things.
The way I see it:
Being social animals the subject of our fantasy, of our fixations, is the fantasy of the other. What makes the human Human is not that we desire but rather that we desire the desire of the other. An excess desire. We fantasize about what the other is fantasizing and enjoying. Our fantasy of the fantasy of the other is the outlines a fundamental lack within our person, a negativity. Experienced as a splitting of consciousness. Intuiting this lack, becoming aware of it, and attempting to articulate it, we are self-consciousness. This negativity or void is in psychoanalytic terms, the unconscious. We likewise intuit that there had once been some original state. One without lack and contradiction. A state of fullness, without the division between self and object. A harmonious whole. A pure consciousness or as Freud refers to it in Civilization and its Discontents an oceanic feeling. The Original Desire, one that is authentically my own, which was not the desire of the other but which unites our desires in itself. This desire is the extinction of all desires.
The eye that perceives the lovely is at once the eye that perceives what I lack. Perceiving this lack, which explains my present condition, I covet. This is an evil eye. The lover’s gaze is of the same type as the infirm or pathic gaze. Reminded of Zizek’s formulation of one of Hegel’s insights, “Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself" itself a variation of Meister Eckhart’s “the eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.” The recognition of evil, the ability to see and judge evil, stems from our ability to recognize disparity. This disparity is already present within our own person, the split-consciousness. The feeling cognized, the awareness of our condition as beings separated from the whole. The clairvoyance of the tyrant and the philosopher.
Suppose that psychopathology is born from our inability to recognize an image as an image.
I intuit something more in this person, something they’re hiding. It can’t just be envy, no. It has to be because I can feel that this thing they’re hiding is sinister. It can’t just be that I feel animosity towards this person, no. It has to be because this person is evil and not just an isolated evil but rather a symptom of a much larger evil. An evil that is responsible for all the suffering in the World, for why my World isn’t the way it should be. It can’t just be attraction, no. It has to be that I intuit something more in this person, something hidden, that I must destroy in order to go on living.
If vile shit comes to mind (as vile things often do, especially when one is immersed in ambient algorithmically-summoned vileness, namely outrage and atrocity porn) they won't affirm it to themselves or try to justify or rationalize it or present it as a rational political stance. And they don’t abstract this particular form of vileness into the primary lens through which they view and interpret cultural phenomena. Unreflexive racial animosity is ugly and fetid. We’re capable of recognizing it, feeling it, as something pathological. We’re also capable of laughing at it. Laughing at ourselves. Look at what our ladies have to say about Stuart Seldowitz (the dude who went viral harassing a halal street vendor) in I’ll Be Missinger. “He sucks,” “he’s a loser,” “he’s obviously sick,” and that he gives the impression of someone who lives alone, will die alone, and will be found weeks or even months after the fact.
Perhaps Red Scare is special in how it manages to elicit absurd, wildly inappropriate responses from listeners. Vulgar and revelatory was it? Steve Sailer elicits a similar response and has become an expert in turning said absurd reactions to his advantage. Generally the cooler-head in any given exchange. While the other person shouts obscenities at a ghost, smashing fists against the post, looking crazy, like a proper hysteric. Sailer breaks the fourth-wall, making eye-contact with the would-be noticer, with a little shake of the head, a little chuckle, a little shrug… “you’re noticing right? See what I have to put up with? Imagine these people defining my legacy.” Still he seems to take it with the good humor of an uncle who will still call you on your birthday, despite your drunken outburst during holiday get-together he will admit to not having resisted the temptation to provoke you, it use to be fun, recall all the cool bands I introduced you too? We use to be best buds, “do you really think anything I’ve said merits this sort of response? Honestly?”
Has to be a cheap trick. A technique employed by an old trickster in decades long honing of craft. Maybe not. Maybe what we see is precisely what we get. Most of the very upsetting things being jokes sincerely intended to lighten the mood. Steve Sailer doesn’t care about the particular political orientation of his audience. He just cares that he has an audience. Grateful for the fans he has. Nonetheless happy that they’re not seething malcontent racists. Even if one disagrees with the methodology, the heuristic, the conclusions. That’s secondary, perhaps even tertiary to the recognition sought. His craftsmanship as a writer.
Why I loved his conflict with Will Stancil. Stancil inspired a lot of pondering for me. Putting things in place…
01:29:22-01:29:28
Anna: “You come for the race science and stay for the prose-styling and vivid story-telling.”
In trying to survive as a writer exiled from Mainstream Conservative media (ConInc) during the Bush Jr years. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong but the cancelation that actually impacted Steve Sailer, setting him down the path we find him in, was brought about not by blue-haired hall monitor millennial leftists but by his “fellow” Conservatives. I imagine that he just went with whoever was willing to take him adapting to the editorial standards and audience sensibilities of the publications willing to provide him succor. Not charity mind you but an ability to engage in his own little labor of love.
Read some Sailer. Might get into that later. But that’s the initial impression I got from Steve. Would be utterly mortified if memorialized as a Racialist Ideologue rather than as an entertaining and thought-provoking journalist. Think I also benefited from seeing how he’s actually received by people who are navigating through (or in certain cases, are mired in) the marginal “Hard Right”-spaces or the Rightwing Digital Ghetto. End up realizing that he isn’t hateful, that what you see is precisely what you get, that he privileges craft over ideology, that his reception and exile from Neocon dominated media outlets (remember these are the people gushing ecstatic over the US invasion of Iraq, manufacturing consent for our adventures in the Middle East) was exceedingly unfair but that he nonetheless managed to persevere. And that he really never goes beyond Norm McDonald in terms of his sardonic wit or The Boondocks animated series in terms of his criticisms. His normality is a great source of stability and comfort for his readers; “noticing” and speculating about these topics doesn’t necessarily lead to one becoming a seething racist.
Returning for a moment to Will Stancil, this was what he inspired:
As the last man standing I spend countless hours immersed in detailed fantasies about the coming apocalypse and my enemy's bliss. A dumb and wicked happiness proportional to my suffering. Easy to imagine other people happy. Hearts unbroken. Unburdened, hydrated, sexually satisfied, debt-free, lucky, successful in all business endeavors. Brute, jezebel, schemer, parasite, rival, betrayer... the whole lot of them thriving. Frolicking in my mind's eye. When the time comes I won't forget that they were happy while...others...suffered.
Find that trying to void your mind of all thought or sit perfectly still for 10 minutes. End up feeling like something requires much less energy from us than nothing. Causes coalescing. Conspiring, to what ends?
You see. The very same principle appears to be at work here. Same pathological base that undergirds genuine racial or ethnic animosity. Fantasizing about the other’s enjoyment and being unable to distinguish between the persecutory Phantasm and the actual human being whose shape it appropriates.
Had a friend recommend forgetting. Forgetting is a dialectical exercise, first you have to acknowledge the thing living rent free in your head and acknowledge its origins... then you have to take the steps to stop feeding it. Letting the thought-form dissolve. Let it be put to rest. Reminded of the practice Orthodox Christian contemplatives call Nepsis.
Other approaches as well, acknowledging the presence of anima veiled in shadow.
But listen…
The podcasts I consume, are a reflection of me as a person. Being what I associate and consume. What does it say about me in particular? Reveal about me? That they should have Steve Sailer on the pod. Settling down. Perhaps some responses could be understood in this light. That a Sailer episode reflects poorly on the listener. Constituting a great betrayal of the love and energy and time I have dedicated over the years to you.
I’m not a racist.
Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are. The most punitive and brutal god. The idea of the AI nu-god being this, utilizing that standard, is horrifying. Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are, everything you are, and whether or not you qualify to live.
Shamed, I quietly remove the upvote I gave to the hysterical person and the downvote I gave to him.
Hysteria like a yawn is an empathic contagion.
Back to Anna it’s not because she’s ugly and it sucks that she might nurse this delusion. I actually think Anna is really pretty. Rather I think it’s because she’s a mom. She registers as a maternal figure. That’s one of the reasons I think people respond to her the way they do. As stated earlier. We are cruel to Anna in order to forgive our moms.
[To be continued: Wherein I say horrible things that should never be said to the people I claim to love. Will also interrogate Sailor Socialism]

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

While children are taught moral education and other different subjects in schools, including mythological and religious stories, besides disciplines like languages, sciences, math, there is no focus on spirituality. Unfortunately, people tend to confuse religion with spirituality. But spirituality is different from religion. Spirituality is a way of life. It is beyond religion. Religion is only the kindergarten of spirituality. Religion teaches us the ABC of God, it introduces God to us at an early age. It helps build faith. By giving God a form, as religion does, it can help a child connect to God. Religion also provides us with a certain moral and ethical framework that we can live by, but it stops at that. Spirituality is beyond religion. Spirituality is the science of the spirit. It helps us realize the truth. It helps us realize who we are, who God is, what the purpose of life is and how we can attain it. We realize that we are not the body, mind and ego but the Soul. That God is not a person or saint but a power and we are a part of that power. We realize that God is one and everyone and everything is a manifestation of God.
Spirituality, thus, sets things in perspective. It fosters love
and compassion towards everyone and everything. It promotes togetherness, brotherhood and universal love.
By helping our children become spiritual, we can help eliminate stress, anxiety, stress, depression, anger, hate, jealousy, suffering and misery from their lives. By encouraging spiritual practices, we can help children be happy and peaceful. Our children and our world would be very different if children grew up being spiritual. Spirituality paves the way for a life of happiness and peace.

Unfortunately, we are so lost in this material world that we are ourselves ignorant about the reality and truth of life. As parents or guardians, we pressurise children to come first in whatever they do. We tell them as we were told — ‘be successful’, because we believe that success is happiness. We want them to win trophies and medals in sports, academics — everything. But the truth is that the so-called happiness from achievements is not real happiness. It is only momentary pleasure. It is ephemeral. The fact is that happiness is success and not the other way round. If we are happy, we are already successful. In reality, success brings with it stress and worry. At times, people resort to immoral and unethical ways to be at the top. Most of us don’t stop at our need, we go beyond to greed. But things can never make us happy. Happiness is a state of being. We have to ‘be’ happy, moment by moment. The truth is that nothing belongs to us. Why do we want to amass a fortune? Ultimately, it will all be left behind. Sadly, we end up teaching children the wrong things. Children grow up wanting to become an ace in the race, but finally, they get caught in the maze.

We must therefore encourage spirituality in children. And below are simple ways of doing it:

First of all, we must understand what spirituality is and incorporate it into our daily life. If we don’t know what spirituality is, what can we tell our children? Children learn by example and we must set an example. If we ourselves are busy chasing success and achievements, hoarding and collecting wealth, how can we guide our children? While making money or wanting to be successful in itself is not bad, the problem is that we become addicted to it. We don’t know when and where to stop. We must ourselves do good deeds and treat other people, all beings and nature with reverence. We must, thus, lead by example.
Next, we can encourage spiritual practices like Yoga and meditation. Yoga is not just about asanas or physical exercises or pranayama or breathing techniques. Yoga means union with God. Nonetheless, _asanas_ and _pranayama_practices do promote well-being and peace. Similarly, we can encourage devotion or Bhakti in children by praying together, by singing Bhajans, hymns together.
Next, we must help children differentiate between the myth and the truth. Most of the stories children read or are told are myths, including that of Ganesha or Shiva. While this generates interest in the Divine, as they grow older, we must help them realize that God is not Ganesha or Shiva. God is not a person, but a Power, the Supreme Immortal Power. We must teach them to go beyond praying to Ganesha or other idols to praying through these idols to God, the Supreme Immortal Power.

We can try to guide children in day to day life. We can help them be mindful of nature, to connect with nature and treat other creatures with respect and love. We can help them choose what they read and ensure that they do not pick up more myths and lies. There are many spiritual parables, and stories that can communicate the truth in a simple and engaging manner. We must encourage children to ask questions about life, death, about God and help them understand reality. We must not tell them to blindly believe or follow what has been told to us for generations.

Finally, if we have the blessings and guidance of a spiritual mentor or Guru in our life, a truly enlightened being, we must allow children to have interactions with the Guru, or listen to his discourses. This spiritual interaction and education from a spiritually evolved person can leave a deep impact on young, impressionable minds.

Hey guys, i’m new to this but i just wanted to share my story. I’m 22 F overweight and I was vaping for about 3 1/2 years. When I was continuously vaping, like chain vaping, I would notice heart palpitations happen but go away after a couple minutes. It would only happen if I vaped back to back multiple times. It got to the point of vaping becoming even more of an addiction and causing panic attacks, even while taking lexapro. I was in denial and thought the lexapro was the thing causing my anxiety spikes. IDIOT, i know. Anyways, i quit lexapro in november, and continued to vape. But then starting January 2024, i started having constant panic attacks lasting hours at a time & feeling out of body. So very reluctantly, i quit vaping, cold turkey. The day after i quit, i started getting heart palpitations again. I thought “maybe it’s just my body detoxing? But I would rather that than the constant panic”. So for awhile i thought, maybe it’s from not vaping? But, it never went away.
I also wore a heart monitor for 3 days and was told i get premature atrial contractions (PACS). I spent hours in the ER multiple times just to find an answer to why. I reached out to many drs & was told it was from “anxiety” and that if i got it under control, they would go away. I was given prozac first, but the side effects of it made me bed ridden,dizzy, nauseous and unable to do anything. I did notice my heart palpitations were gone, but my heart would randomly race and my anxiety got even worse. I then got off of it, and for a week i started getting palps again. I finally started taking 10mg lexapro again in February and my psychiatrist accompanied it with 20mg propranolol (inderal). The palpitations went away for about a week & 1/2 after starting the medications.
I started going to therapy & doing better mentally. my anxiety has gone from a 10 to about a 2. I then started going to the gym and the day after, the palpitations came back & wouldn’t go away. I only lifted weights and fast-walked on the treadmill. The same thing happened every time i went to the gym, even if i skipped cardio. The palpitations would come on a couple hours after leaving, or even the next day, never during or right after. My medication would barely help as well These palps are the only thing causing my anxiety. like i said, it’s at about a 2. But when i get them, my anxiety gets to be about a 4/5 but sometimes harder to control. My primary dr still hasn’t given me any answers , but told me to take more propranolol, so now i’m taking 40mg in total, 20mg pills twice a day. I was also given a new heart monitor and i wore it for 7 days. I just got my results back and i get isolated occasional PACs (1.4%, 10125) and (<1.0%, 12) SVE couplets. (don’t know exactly what that means). still waiting for a dr to go over it with me.
I have gotten basic blood tests done already as well. Glucose was good, electrolytes (sodium, potassium, chloride, carbon dioxide) normal & magnesium, b9 & b12 were good. Since it’s been about 4 months since quitting vaping, i don’t think this is specifically related to withdrawals anymore. (it could still be related to vaping, i’m not denying that) I don’t know if it’s related to weight? i’m trying to lose weight, it’s just hard when i can’t exercise bc my heart wants to go all wacky. I know gastrointestinal issues can be linked too but i haven’t been tested for it? i just need advice on wtf to do. Blood test orders? Requests to ask my dr for? Things to do at home? literally anything, i am desperate!!

I am in my Ed recovery for more then a year now. I climb (often, but I listen to my body and not overdo it) and run (sometimes) as those are the two exercises that brings me joy. I make sure to always eat an extra meal after the workout and I (really hard) try never to force myself to do it if I don’t want to.
I eat (mostly, still changing myself with certain food ) what I want and when I want. I made a huge progress in how I think about myself, I don’t do body checks and I thought I am fine. But i realized I am addicted to my Apple Watch. I don’t care anymore about closing the rings much, but I need to do a certain amount of steps on the days when I don’t have „workouts”. It’s not that hard coz I have an active dog, but I need to press „outdoor walk” in my watch when I take her out. I am tired of this controlling me. I feel it’s the last thing I hold on to… The thing is, I love my Apple Watch for not having to carry my phone with me and just be able to contact people or listen to music. So it’s not as simple as just removing it. But also maybe I’m just saying this so I can hold on to this?
Please help, did any of you struggle with that? Is it just as simple as „just” stop wearing it? Any tips? I feel so stupid that I have to write about it on Reddit…

The IELTS listening test can feel like a high-stakes audio marathon. For aspiring test-takers in Faridabad, acing this part requires effective practice. But with so many resources available, where do you begin? Fear not, future IELTS champions! This guide unveils the best resources for IELTS listening test practice in Faridabad, empowering you to conquer this crucial section.
Harness the Power of Coaching Institutes:
While self-study can be valuable, reputable IELTS coaching institutes in Faridabad offer a structured approach with numerous benefits. Experienced trainers provide a roadmap for success, demystifying the test format, question types, and effective listening strategies. They can also guide you through various listening tasks, from map labeling to summarizing lectures.
Coaching Institute Benefits:

• Targeted Practice: Coaches provide practice materials and exercises tailored to specific question types. This targeted approach allows you to focus on areas needing improvement and maximizes your score potential.
• Mock Tests and Exam Simulation: Coaching institutes conduct mock listening tests under timed conditions, replicating the actual exam environment. This helps you manage test anxiety, practice active listening skills, and develop effective note-taking techniques.
• Expert Feedback: Trainers analyze your performance on practice tests, pinpointing areas for improvement and offering valuable feedback on your listening comprehension.

Finding the Right Coaching Match:
Not all coaching institutes are created equal. When searching for the perfect fit in Faridabad, consider:

• Trainer Expertise: Look for trainers with experience in IELTS listening test preparation and a proven track record of student success.
• Class Size: Smaller class sizes allow for more personalized attention and opportunities to ask questions and refine your listening skills.
• Course Schedule: Choose a course that aligns with your learning style and schedule, offering evening or weekend options for working professionals.

Beyond Coaching: Unleashing Your Inner Active Listener:
Coaching isn't the only path to success. Here are some effective self-practice resources readily available in Faridabad:

• Online Resources: The internet is a treasure trove of free and paid IELTS listening test practice materials. Explore websites like the British Council's Road to IELTS and platforms offering practice tests, audio recordings with transcripts, and vocabulary building exercises.
• IELTS Listening Test Apps: Download mobile apps specifically designed for IELTS listening practice. These apps often offer a variety of exercises, timed practice tests, and customizable difficulty levels to cater to your learning pace.
• English Podcasts and Audiobooks: Immerse yourself in English by listening to podcasts and audiobooks on topics that interest you. This exposure to authentic English accents and natural conversations will enhance your listening comprehension and vocabulary.

Remember: Consistency is key! Regular practice, whether through coaching or self-directed methods, is paramount for success.
Sharpening Your Listening Skills:

• Develop Active Listening Skills: Don't just passively listen – actively engage with the audio. Anticipate upcoming information, identify keywords, and take clear notes to capture key details.
• Build Your Vocabulary: A strong vocabulary is crucial for understanding the listening passages. Focus on learning new words related to commonly tested topics in the IELTS exam.
• Practice with Diverse Accents: The IELTS listening test features speakers with various accents. Expose yourself to different accents by listening to English news from around the world or watching English movies and TV shows with subtitles.

Conclusion:
By combining coaching resources with self-directed practice, you can conquer the IELTS listening test in Faridabad. Remember, mastering active listening skills and building a strong foundation in English are essential for success. So, take the first step today! Explore coaching institutes, utilize online resources, and embark on your IELTS listening test practice journey. With dedication and the right approach, you'll be well on your way to achieving your target score and unlocking a world of opportunities.

I've been on a weightloss journey for the last year, and while I am down weight after following a diet (calorie deficit, food allergies identified and cut, no sugar weeknights etc.) I joined a gym in January, and have been following some Womens Health workouts, because I have lost weight but I have such little muscle tone that I can jiggle my calves and squeeze them like a stress toy.... My issue is the next day after the gym I don't feel it in my body I don't have any aches or pains, I don't feel stiffness in the muscles. Should I just be doubling down on the exercises I'm doing? e.g instead of 40 reps do 80? Should I invest in a personal trainer?

Like from what I've mostly observed from other progress pics I've found the following:
-Shoulders are the widest, sometimes the hips are just as wide.
-Waist is wide, larger WHR compared to cis equivalent. "Rulerstick" body look.
-Hip/Bottom growth is present but not cis equivalent, especially in proportion to shoulders. Thin trans women do not have the same hips or hip look of thin cis equivalents at the same bmi.
God I just hate my body and the fact that I've only managed to start HRT at late-19. I don't know if every late transitioner is chronicallly underdoesed or if there are some things I just simply can't change.
But jeez everytime I see a normal cis woman who is able to just live their life and not think about their body as all the clothes they wear are generally built for them makes me want to kill myself. (and in all honesty most cis women who have body problems are greatly exagerating them (dysmorphia) or can fix them with proper eating and exercise).
Like I wish I could be normal, I wish I didn't have a giant rugby player chest and shoulders.
Suicide is awfully tempting.