Boyfriend break up gift box

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote.
April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker.

tldr: i want to break up with my boyfriend over text bc he will try to convince me to stay and idk how to say no, so i’ll tell him yes. he told me he loved me after 1 week, wants to move in together after only 8 months, wants to get married after a year, wants kids (i don’t), and he’s been having me leave things at his house so he “knows i’m coming back” (my sister said this is a red flag). i want to do a text bc there’s a possibility he’ll get angry and start yelling at me for wanting to leave. he had bpd so situations like this are emotionally unpredictable with him. pls give me advice/validation in my feelings.
hi pookies! so i wanted to ask for some advice. i’ve been dating this guy for 3-4 months and over the past month i can feel myself losing feelings and not being as interested in this relationship anymore. we both want very different things in life and he is moving this relationship too fast for me. like he wants to move in with me in september even though we’ve only been dating since january. he asked me that question probably a week or two after we started dating and told me he “loved me” around that same time. i’m not confrontational at all and have no backbone so i stupidly told him i loved him back and that yes, i would move in with him after only 8 months of dating. he’s also told me before that if i broke up with him, he’d kill himself which i found out later is manipulation. i really don’t see a future with him anymore. so now that i’ve got all of that out of the way…. would it be ok for me to break up over text? ik im going to do what i want anyone but i just need advice/validation from people that were in a similar situation. i feel like breaking up over a call or face to face isn’t an option bc ik he’s going to try to convince me to stay with him and ik im going to say yes to make him happy even though it wouldn’t make me happy. i feel like if im not willing to say no or stick up for myself in a relationship, then im not ready for one. the only drawback is that i sent him a very long message the other day abt how he needs to go to therapy. he had been telling me every. single. day. abt how he wants to kill himself, that he’s stupid, that he should jump off a bridge, etc. i don’t mind talking people through that stuff every now and again but every day??? i did all i could and none of the advice or help i offered was ever good enough until i told him that if he kept doing that, id break up with him. so i feel like now that ive sent that message, i cant break up with him. in the words of leslie ackerman: i dangled a carrot in front of him and then took it away. i think thats how he’s going to feel. what do yall think?? i feel like ive been love bombed and kind of manipulated but ik it will hurt him so idk what to do. any advice is welcome.
my sister wanted me to add this: he has been having me leave some of my things over at his apartment so he “knows im coming back” and everytime i leave he asks me if my stuff is still at his apartment. this makes it to where id have to get my stuff while he’s not there bc he might become angry or manic due to having bpd.

Almost 3 weeks ago I (23F) broke up with my bf (22M) of 3 years. Let's call him Jameson. Not because I didn't love him anymore, but because the situation was unbearable. He was super depressed and anxious, he lied, manipulated, got angry, everything was always difficult. I felt alone in the relationship and the trust was gone especially when I found out he financially cheated. I know he is not a bad person, but his behaviour did really hurt me.
Some important back ground info: After the first year together we wanted to study together because we didn't want to be long distance anymore. I said I would break up otherwise. I got in but Jameson didn't. The period after I felt pretty alone and heartbroken, he didn't seem to care as much, I was trying to fix it all on my own. He said he was trying back then but I don't know what he did to "try". I ended up emotionally cheating for 1 week because I really needed some compagnionship and laughter. After that we were never the same ever again. This happened 1,5 years ago. In the year after I really had to constantly prove myself and I really improved as a gf, but not to the point I want to be at yet.
The year after Jameson didn't get in again, but he moved to my parents house to start a study there. So he was still closer to me than if he would've stayed in his home country. Most of plan A and B were my idea and I had to really push him to apply, but he was also not coming up with alternatives himself or communicating his feelings. This is important because now he can easily blame me.
We were now finally closer together and he didn't seem that enthusiastic. Jameson barely went to school, do sport or social activities, he only started to work in january and used gaming as a coping mechanism. He neglected the relationship and himself. So after a long period of this I decided to end things. My psychologist said I was enabling his depression and I didn't want to do that. So I told him to go back to his home country. Before his departure and now even more he has been even more cold and distant.
We did end things with we love eachother a lot but it's not working like this. I asked for a week of space and to call after. Overall I have felt relieve because all the sudden my life was so much easier, but I have really missed the good parts of the relationship and the friendship we also had.
We finally called yesterday after 1,5 weeks of space and it didn't go as I hope it would. Jameson said he wanted to give me this call because I didn't get closure from my previous boyfriend. But he was cold and distant and not very interested in me. He also didn't want to discuss the relationship or certain things that happened. Especially with how friendly things were when he left I thought we would at least be friends after a while. I also wanted to keep the door slightly open for the future in case we both improved and still had a connection. Because we have a lot in common and want the same things in life so I thought maybe then we can make it work.
But Jameson was talking about a closed door and he wasn't to keen to keep in touch or be friends anymore. I wasnt planning on getting back together, but I didn't expect my sweet Jameson to go 180 on me like this. He said he fell out of love with me when I emotionally cheated and has love me less and less over time. Even though I did everything for him and was improving he didn't want to forgive, or didn't know how to. But he also didn't leave himself or planned on breaking up himself. I really thought sending him away and stop enabling his depression would finally make him want to be the boyfriend I needed. When I think about how we were and when I look at pictures he definitely still cared for me and was obsessed with me physically.
I feel really weird after the call, I don't believe he is fully speaking the truth about his feelings for me. But his attitude is so cold, he dyed his hair, all the sudden he is having a social life again, willing to sell his pc, almost like the Jameson I knew doesn't exist anymore. We said we could keep in touch like once a week but I'm thinking of leaving that ball in his court right now because of his lack of enthusiasm.
Has anyone ever had a similar situation? Tips or some compassion are also very welcome!
TLDR: I broke up with my bf because I was enabling his depression, but hoped for a friendship and keeping the door open for the future, he went full 180 and seems completely fine now without me and is keeping his distance.

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.

Hello everyone 👋
I'd be grateful for some advice. I'm a 27f who's strongly considering moving 1 state over to be with my 33yr boyfriend, but I've never moved before and I'm terrified.
He and I have been dating for the better part of 2 years. We're both from California but he moved to Oregon about 8 months ago. He's asked me to move with him since he left.
I still, and have always lived with my family since it's so expensive in California. Its the house I grew up in and I've never had a real reason to leave home. I have a good relationship with my parents and was always encouraged to stay. Though now, I feel like I've hit a plateau in some of my personal development. There's nothing really wrong with my life here at home. I live in a great location, my rent is affordable considering the area, I have a reliable job in the service industry, I'm liked by my coworkers and customers, I have wonderful friends, and of course my family who I'm close to.
But since I graduated college 2yrs ago and my parents splitting up during that time; I've been struggling a little to truly feel content and happy like I once did. I'm easily stressed, I find myself irritable, impatient, and feeling bad about myself more often. I don't feel terrible everyday though, so I'm worried I'm being dramatic.
My boyfriend is fiercely independent and a quick to decisions. He really stuggles with depression and he was working a corporate job and paying high rent for a small apartment. He seemed wildly unhappy, so when he unexpectedly inherited some money from family he quickly bought a house. He seems much happier now and more excited about life.
Before he left he expressed regret about leaving me behind but we weren't really in a place in where it made sense to move with him. Additionally I was, and still am afraid of the unknown. Being away from everything and everyone I've ever known gives me anxiety. (though everything gives me anxiety)
Our relationship hasn't always been perfect but nothing bad. We're oppposties in many ways and we've had some miscommunications and have had to establish boundaries. Like any relationship we will continuously work through these things. This has been expressed and agreed upon. Though I do slightly worry about his depression and mental state in general and how that will effect things over time (I guess we'd just have to see) been able to work through it so far.
I think we've supported each other's emotional and personal growth over these years. He seems committed to wanting to make things work with me more than ever. We do love each other. We've seen one another every month and gone on either long or short trips since he's left. I've visited the place where he's moved and it's cute and fun but a bit of a smaller town than what I'm used to. He already has friends in Oregon some new and some old, he's integrated me into the group. His friends think I should move up. But of course when I talk about it with people in my life it's like 50/50 people hate the idea or love it. Obviously the idea of moving for a partner is controversial.
It would be a 180 change for me and I'm very stressed about making it; but I could see the benefits for him, me, and us together. If it goes wrong I could always come home right?
I'd be an 8hr drive away from home 1hr flight. I would be worried about leaving my family since I believe the do rely on me slightly (financially and emotionally). I also wouldn't be excited to leave my job since I feel like they count on me. I'd be sad to let others down. Plus I like it, but at the end of the day it's a bar. I'd miss my friends and family a lot But I'm confident I could establish a new group in time.
At its worst the decision seems very grey and it could be awful - if it fails or I stay home and we eventually break up. But at its best it could be a possibility for needed change, independence, and an opportunity to further my personal development as well as grow into a serious relationship. I wish I was better at this 😞
TL;DR Should I continue building on an established life in my hometown? Or should I take the opportunity to move and start a new life elsewhere for the first time? Potentially very risky but possibly great.

This weekend was my daughter's 13th birthday and Mother's Day weekend. My love did everything he could to make sure we had a wonderful time!
He volunteered to spend the whole weekend with my (high maintenance) dog, and also bought really thoughtful gifts for the occasion (for my daughter, for me and even for the dog!)
He is not my child's biological father, nor a "substitute father" as her father is in her life... but he has taken the role of being another important, caring person without imposing too much authority. She sees him as a really kind, fun guy who takes good care of her mom.
When put in a similar role, an ex cheated on me. I asked him to babysit so I could do some volunteer work. His reasoning was that I had boxed him into a role he never asked for, and in cheating with a mutual friend, was "breaking free"from that. That sort of betrayal cuts deep in two ways: 1) It leads you to believe that asking for help is something the backfires and 2) it weighs on your ability to trust it when someone does something selfless and kind for your happiness.
That said, the fact that I am now with someone who is capable of putting my happiness before his own on special occasions is so healing, freeing and feels so damn good. I keep telling him how grateful and appreciative I am.
I want to do something equally as lovely for him, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share them!

On the 15th of April, 2024, I had a workplace injury occur that involved a vehicle transmission falling directly on top of my foot while unloading it to be transferred to a core return box. Luckily it did not break any bones. However, I was required to be seen by an Orthopedic Specialist under the hospitals' guidance and recommendation. I went to my scheduled appointment on May 1st, with Worker's Comp info ready to be provided, I received a multitude of x-rays and a professional evaluation conducted in the office by the Orthopedic Surgeon. To add an extra bit of information, I was born with a disease called CMT (Charcot-Marie-Tooth) Disease, which belongs to a family of Neurological Diseases, a type of hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy. The disease affects my feet mostly, as I have severely high arches and difficulty with balance and walking. When the Ortho. Specialist conducted his review, his directive was that the surgery would be necessary, as the injury that I sustained at work will cause me more issues later in life if it isn't corrected within the next few years. What was relayed to me during that appointment was that the surgery would need to be for both of my feet, over a period of about a year, that includes surgery, recovery and rehabilitation, and then post-op evaluations and testing. I was told at the office that I'd be receiving a phone call about the surgery and such within a few days, as they would have to go back and forth with the examiners of the claim, which was to be expected. I waited quite a while for a phone call, it was roughly a week before I finally received a phone call from the surgeons' office about waiting to hear back from the Claims Examiner that is a part of the business I work for. They told me that it'd be a few more days before any more info could be provided, as they (the surgeons' office) were waiting to hear back from Sedgwick.
Fast forward to yesterday, at 11:07 AM EST May 13th, I received a text saying that my examiner (through Sedgwick) has been changed to a different person. I didn't really think much of it, but I had a feeling at some point that I'd be hearing from them later on in the day. I went into work at about 4 PM, and by 4:30PM a phone call came in directly from Sedgwick, to tell me that my claim has been denied. They said that, and I quote, "We've never heard of this disease before, we don't see that it has anything to do with the injury you received at work, but you don't have any broken bones which is good.." The lady asked if I had any questions or concerns, and I vaguely remember replying with a statement of my family's history with the disease and how it has affected them, and how it affects me during my day to day, and they made the comparison that "Orthopedics are a lot like Chiropractors, those fields aren't really a category we assist with" or something similar to that statement. I was in a bit of shock when I spoke to the examiner, so most of the things they said have been forgotten. I tried going back to my claims info through Sedgwick and I'm no longer able to access it, it just keeps saying that I'd have to contact customer support, or speak with someone in my HR Dept. My manager, and several other people within my immediate circle have all expressed to me to get a 2nd opinion, contact a lawyer, contact a different examiner for workers comp, go through the state for assistance etc..
I'm just trying to figure out what steps I need to take in order to receive the assistance that I need. I am 28 years old, I still have such a strong desire to continue working, I am not a quitter, I do not like giving up. But this situation really put me down, and I am honestly dreading going to work now, I just feel so defeated. Any and all recommendations will gladly be accepted.

I think my boyfriends hates himself more then he loves me.
I just want to start by saying that I (20f) absolutely love this man (21m) and would do literally anything for him which is why I’m making this post so I sincerely ask that you do not judge too harshly and give me some advice on what to do or how to handle this situation.
FYI, this is a long one. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and it’s been great. He is my first and only relationship I’ve ever been in and there was definitely a honey moon stage we were in during the beginning but he was always very sweet and loving. He cared about my day, liked talking to me and hearing me rant about things I like/dislike and was very gentle with me and I fell in love with him very fast because he was the first person i felt I could be 100% real and myself around. He’s a big 6”3 teddy bear who I knew going into it didn’t like himself very much because he had loose skin from weight loss, but I was determined to make sure he knew that he was loved and literally my dream man regardless of his scars or skin, which is the same way he treats my scars on my legs which are huge and looks like I was attacked by a tiger. There wasn’t really a big change till about 1 year in when he started having alot of insecurities due to PTSD from his last relationships and not only would that make him snappy but he kept making jokes about me cheating on him with everyone and anyone I had an interaction with, male or female. I couldn’t go anywhere without him needing to know who was there and if it was a guy- no matter who it was, he’d get very angry. I accepted that it was a trauma response and knew his insecurities were valid so I took it all in stride and would calmly make sure he knew that was not the case and would do anything to ease that fear but there were a few times it caused huge problems. One time it triggered my own mental health issues and I screamed at him and had a full blown meltdown down because I was doing everything he said and was honestly being the perfect gf but nothing I did eased his insecurity and he kept lashing out at me. Since then he realized the negative effect the jokes were having on me so he stopped making them and has genuinely learned to trust that I won’t cheat on him but ever since then, it’s like a damn broke and I’m the reciprocator to all of his anger. He doesn’t hit me or call me names unwarranted but he gets very upset at very minor things on a daily basis. At 1 1/2 years into the relationship I learned that his self hatred goes much much deeper than I thought and while his praises and love has helped with my confidence, mine has not helped his at all. In fact, I think the fact that I’m a 5”3 very skinny female and he gained a little bit of healthy relationship weight, made him start hating himself more. He would bring up how it doesn’t make since we’re together and he’s “the ugly one” out of us and how I’m too good for him and I kept praising him and making sure he knew that me, the person who sitting right next to him in bed, loves him more then anything and thinks the world of him but it never helped. I recommended that he go to therapy but he refused saying he wouldn’t want to talk to strangers and that it wouldn’t help even tho I’ve gone for most of my life but I know my experience doesn’t and shouldn’t sway his opinion. I’m no doctor but I have diagnosed borderline personally disorder and severe depression and anxiety and have had to be institutionalized 5 times due to self harm and suicide and again while I’m not a doctor, I’m positive he has anger issues (as is he) and might possibly have BPD, and most definitely has anxiety and depression but he seeks no help for them and knows that they negatively impact him and cause him to lash out at me daily which lowkey makes me hates myself but I try not to take anything personally because I deeply understand what he’s going through. Now at almost 3 years, I don’t even know anymore. Sometimes I’m convinced he hates me and others I fell like the most important person alive but our fighting is at an all time high. He doesn’t care about any hobby of mine and gets annoyed having to listen to me talk about something a lot or for longer than 5 minutes. His family is my family but he doesn’t think my family in his family even tho my family has done a lot for him. He hates holidays, hates doing normal things people do unless he wants to do it. I sometimes find myself feeling like I can’t have anything good in life outside of him or with him + others because everything he does, we do, and I do, is SO hard for him and he reacts out of anger. I haven’t had a fully good holiday since before we dated and I no longer feel like I can have friends nor do I really want them. I don’t even eat with my family anymore because he doesn’t want to and I don’t want to leave him alone. Anytime he’s done anything with my family, I’ve had to force him or he does it out of guilt and then it’s just a bad time because he’s so mad at everything. I’ve made the bad habit of ignoring my own mental health and doing everything and anything for him and now it’s like he forgot that I also have emotions over things and am a human being. He treats me much poorly than he would treat someone he actually hates. I don’t know if it’s because he gained more weight and that he hates himself for all these different reasons or what but having a simple conversation about his emotions and why he’s being snappy is the hardest thing to do for him. So many things go wrong and he handles so many situations wrong and has such negative reactions to almost everything I do that it’s hard for me to function. When I express that, it’s a coin flip on if it’ll start a problem or if he’ll just feel bad and hate himself more. These issues we’ve had and me coddling him in any way I can have caused me to have a couple situations where I bottle things up and explode but it’s been about a handful in 3 years and I can’t be upset or feel strongly about something without him already invalidating it thinking I’m having an episode or freaking out himself. We’ve had arguments everyday over dumb stuff but it’s always him thinking surface level and technically and me thinking about it all from a deeper perspective and him not understand the principle of the situation or why I’m upset ever and constantly bases his entire reaction on his perspective until I explain the same thing in multiple different ways, over and over again. I know this is horrible but I feel like I’ve had to teach him how to be in a healthy relationship and handle his own emotions and while I’m learning about how to be an adult, I’m simultaneously having to teach him how to be one because he’s not doing it himself. He has a job and pays for everything but he doesn’t save and hates himself for that so mostly I feel like I can’t speak because i don’t have a job right now and because he’s so supportive of me, I feel so unbelievably horrible for feeling how I do. Like today we got into a fight because we were talking and he was getting agitated and then while we were communicating he just shut the conversation down saying it’s over which has caused a lot of problems in the past and he knows that’s not how to end a conversation because it should matter that we’re adult and we should be able to get through and conversation without issues but by the end of it he was hating on himself for “still messing things up when he was just trying to end the conversations so problems WOULDNT happen” and it was basically him just choosing every wrong dialogue option and reaction possible. He constantly creates problems by not wanting to create problems while acting like there’s a problem and just not talking about it. And then he gets so mad, he insults my entire personality and everything I do by misunderstanding my valid anger and never taking it seriously in the moment until I get real mad and alot of the times when I get real mad, I’m just seen as crazy. But at the end of it there’s always communication that was needed but not received in the beginning and I just don’t know what to do to not have to go through all that to be understood. I’ve expressed that he treats me like a villainous stranger a lot and that I think he hates himself more than he loves me and he always thinks about leaving me for my own good after I ask if I need to just accept this pain from his mistreatment and lack of emotional availability when it’s my love language because I still chose him over anyone else but then when I explain that what I really need from him is consistency and to do some real self work, he agreed and I’m giving him time to do just that. Things are just difficult, I refuse to leave him so if anyone says I’m doing this to myself then you’re right and I’d choose to go through it everyday because I love him. And I believe that soulmates are 2 people who make a decision to love each other and live life together in harmony throughout all hardships. People who break up do it because one or both of them can’t commit to each other and don’t make the conscious decision to make them a real life partner and neither of us want that. I just need advice on how to help him or how to handle the situation. Any of the situations really because this will either be amazing or I will change myself to accept the reality that it will never be amazing but I’m too loyal to ever not want to try and make it work.

I (29F) and my (18M) Brother's girlfriend (16F) are pissed at each other. I have no one to talk to about this and I'm starting to think I'm in the wrong. I know I have things to apologize for but she thinks the whole thing is my fault.
So me and the girlfriend who l'll call Heaven were sitting at the dinner table with my sister Mimi (25F) and her boyfriend Rob (27M). Mimi and Rob came to visit our parent's house. Heaven is always super exciting to talk to Mimi; so it wasn't surprising that when my brother went upstairs for something she excitedly told Mimi about the gift she was giving to my brother for graduation. Not thinking of getting, mind you. Activity already got. Heaven got my brother a puppy.
I was instantly upset for a huge number of reasons. Some include: my brothers leaving for college, there are already 4 dogs in the house and my parents are really struggling, he doesn't do much for his current two dogs. Often complaining when he has to take them out more than once or pick up his other dogs seizure medication. My parent do 95% of the dog care with me helping when I can. I would have to be the one to help train this dog, since again my parents are already having a hard time keeping up. They're getting older.
Heaven's argument is my brothers dog needs a playmate since the other dogs doesn't like to play with him. He's a big doodle and plays rough. Not sure what she expects a tiny puppy to do. I was honest and I told her no absolutely not, that she can't do that. To please buy him another gift. Mimi tired to be the voice of reason, but Heaven said it wasn't my decision to make and I lost it. This is where I might be the AH. I told her we'd most likely rehome the puppy as soon as my brother left for college, and if I saw it I would introduce my fist to her in the face. Not my proudest moment and I know I shouldn't have said that but I let my temper get the best of me.
I'll answer questions if any. Im pretty new at this and l'm also writing on mobile so please bear with me.

The story about me (36f) and my sister (38f) is long and complicated, so I’ll try to summarise as short as possible, which is long anyway. (English is not my first language - sorry for grammar!)
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?

so im a massive math newbie (i dropped maths in year 10 lol) but my boyfriend is a huge nerd.
he said that his dream tattoo is a sleeve of fractals of important dates in his life, which i think is such a good idea! im a tattoo apprentice and would love to draft that up
our anniversary is coming up, so i thought id surprise him with a print of a fractal of our anniversary date, as sort of practice for when i design his sleeve tattoo :) it would also be a cool unique gift that would look good hung up on the wall!
if someone could give a “dummy’s guide” i would be so happy!!

So for some context me 23 female and 23 male broke up in December it was extremely messy. And things on his end were getting toxic towards the end.
He told my mom 45 female off through text calling her horrible names (because she denied that I was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend 50 male and insulted me for even suggesting that) I wasn’t mad I was anxious I knew it came from a place of concern and protection whether it was the right thing to do or not I know where his heart was.
Well since then she has hated him. She’s furious that him and I are “hanging out” and she says he’s banished from our family home I grew up in as a child and she will never be near him or speak to him again. I can understand she’s hurt. There was no pleasant part of the message that he sent her however it was more of a rude fact based message then how she makes it out to be slander. There wasn’t anything untrue in the message at all.
My mom and I aren’t overly close. And I feel this is driving a wedge between us further. After the whole message thing happened in November she disowned me for almost 2 months and I’m scared she will do it again. Is there anyway I can break the news without another fight from her? So far I haven’t made any progress.
No one knows that we are back together in my life because like I said he did do some pretty crappy things to me and I told them everything because I was hurt and at the time never thought we were going to get back together.
I can understand her frustration however she only cares about what he said to her and “that should be enough to stay away from him”
I really love my bf. We were separated for ruffly 5 months and have had a lot of time for self reflection. As bad as things may have got in the past I feel in my heart that he is the one. I know he will always love me and we want to spend the rest of our life together.
I feel like even if I left him for the sake of my mom or friends I would always love him and feel regret. I’ve never been so comfortable around another human like I am with him. He truly gets me and me him. We are not perfect by no means but I want this to work and that should probably start with my loved ones knowing.

I considered posting this on fitness but they're very strict there and I prefer the more casual environment here.
I used to do Kickboxing, Boxing and some grappling more seriously, in preparation for an amateur MMA career that never came, but took a long break. I've been doing weightlifting mostly after that, focusing on strength and some hypertrophy. I also have been doing runs for cardio, both LISS and HIIT, but these seem insufficient as you'll see later.
I'm now easing back into Kickboxing but I've now realised how inflexible and sluggish I've become! And while I am definitely much stronger than before, and have better awareness and proprioception of my muscles, I realise that I get winded a lot more easily. Those lunges and burpees destroy me a lot more quickly than before. Even a set of 20 air squats is enough for me to feel the soreness in my quads.
It was then that I realise that I get some mild fatigue even from just climbing a few storeys of stairs (about 5 storeys and my heart rate starts to increase). I should have realised this a long time ago, that I've been taking longer to roll out of bed for example, or when I have to get down to the ground to grab something from under the sofa.
I'm almost 40 if that matters.
So, TLDR - did my weight training and sticking to just running for cardio screw up my fitness for good? Can I still continue with weight training? The old school guys in my gym discourage weights. They say it slows you down. But the last time I focused solely on Kickboxing in my youth, I looked like I've got malnutrition.

Okay I wanted to speak about this because the more I think it pissies me off + I find it so hypocrite
Some people say I should move on which I do but after an incident I got reminded of it all over again
So,I(20F)know this guy bill(19M) since junior highschool, we were friends but he was extremely manipulative and he would sexual harras me a lot, around 2020 we started dating and the relationship was bad, I don't wanna into many details but basically he was being insecure that I cheat on him or I have OF behind his back which I sure him nothing of this is real but I had enough of his bs and left.
The other week an account starts following me on Instagram by the name "sunshine" and there are pictures of a pretty girl, I didn't care much until I spot a story where she is with my ex kissing, I blocked her immediately but I remember all over again the memories I had with him and I felt awful.. I went digging around her account and I found out she has OF.
I JUST find it so hypocrite of him to tell her to come and stalk my account + dating a woman that has OF, like he made my life hell about this and now he goes on fine with that?

Ive been dating her for about 6 months.
Gotta straight out say it, I'm the grade A douchebag in this situation, so let's get this out of the way. We met on hinge, I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest, let's be real, appearance wise I'm way above her league. but I've been on hinge for two years without even a second date at the time, I just want a gf so bad so I went out with her.
After 2 months or so she ask me to go exclusive with her, during that entire two months Ive gotten zero matches, like I sent out all the likes everyday and zero matches. I didn't know what to say so I was like, ok you are my exclusive gf now. She dreamed about me taking her to her favorite park, bought her her favorite dessert, and asking her to be her official boyfriend, and wouldn't' let the dream go. Well, I feel bad for her so I did exactly just that, the way she smiled almost made me convinced that I actually like her. But umm I still have hinge on my tablet (hidden at home) rn, but can't cheat when there's no matches. You can bad name me in the comments or whatever. But this is the context.
So, obviously she deserves someone who's actually attracted to her and can make her happy for the rest of her life. I'm not that guy, my preferences aside, I don't want children like ever they are disgusting, but she wants children and gets baby fever all the time. She's religious, I think religion is just crazy people preaching about a fictional character and it makes no sense. She wants to get married before 30, I don't feel like marrying anytime soon. She wants to move to the other side of the country, I want stay here. She's a cat person, I like dogs. My asian parents would never accept me dating a black girl so I've been hiding her from them and social media. And my friends keep teasing me nonstop about dating an ugly girl. This is a dead end relationship, I don't do short term relationships so I cannot remain in a relationship that I know is not gonna work long term.
But, she's super into me, and is extremely dependent on me. She's working two jobs and studying, and is nearly broke, can hardly make ends meet. She cry herself to bed like every week, and always vent to me about how she feel so inadequate, other girls look so pretty in their summer dresses with nice skin and skinny body makes her so jealous, her parents abusing her and bodyshame her (tbh her parents kinda have a point), not having a single friend, both her ex cheated on her and SAed her, she's so worried that she will fail out of school, working both jobs is so physically and mentally draining, and all that. She attempted suicide 5 months before meeting me, so there's that too.
On top of that, she told me over and over, that meeting me is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to her in her entire life. That I'm 100% her type, I'm the k-drama male lead in the k-drama that is her life, end quote. That since I agree to be her bf, she's been feeling motivated in life for the first time. That I'm the only person in her life that she can talk to, because she has no friends and her parents despite her. That I am 100% the man of her dreams, and everyday she feel so blessed having me in her life. If I don't text her every hour she gets anxious and starts to panic, she can only sleep when I do a video call and put the camera towards me the entire night so she knows that I'm "beside" her as she sleep.
Well, when being told all that, I can't exactly just break up with her. I just....feel so bad? I've been brainstorming nonstop for the past month on how exactly I can break up with her while keeping the devastation to her at a minimum. I would feel guilty for life if she just offed herself after I break up with her. She has no friends, and her parents despite her, so I can't text anyone to take care of her after I break up with her. We go to the same school too and she knows my workplace, so I'll 100% bump into her multiple times post break up.
Bro someone plz help me out, im trapped.

Backstory… I have this big opportunity that came up for my career (government/law related). My boyfriend for almost two (2) years broke up with me yesterday because he doesn't want me going that path. The break up just happened yesterday, but I already know to myself that there's no convincing him. And I don’t want to let go of that opportunity, because those things don’t come by often.
He already knew that there's a big chance for me to go that path bc I study law after majoring in political science. I'm curious to the experience of those who chose career over their significant other. I love him, and he's the kindest person l've met (no joke). But for this one, it's hard to explain in just words, he’s different when it comes to this.

Six years together. 2024 has been quite a year so far. My boyfriend has been out of work for almost 5 months, which is yearly occurrence since his main source of income is from doing gig work with a local transportation company. He has been applying to jobs with an out of date resume, he hasn't had that much luck in finding work. When I suggested taking on a temporary job at a grocery store or cafe to stay afloat until his main job starts up again, he became extremely upset and said that those jobs were beneath him.
In these past 5 months he has been playing video games, smoking weed in my bathroom, randomly leaving at all hours to hang out with his friends. He doesn't help with any chores, out of fear for my safety I purchased him a new phone when he broke his, paid for two months worth of phone bills, purchase work boots, and allowed him to shake me down for cash to buy weed.
Even though he tries to gaslight me but saying that this is first year that he hasn't been without work, it hasn't been. Every year since he quit his job during covid(2020)and moved into my apt. he has had periods of no work and very little to no money. He just games and smokes those months away. He berates me for not cooking or cleaning when I was working two jobs and he was working none. When he finally did get a new job thanks to his dad helping him, he refused to contribute financially even though he saw how physically and mentally exhausted I was from working 6 days a week. He said I didn't deserve help. He treats me terribly whenever I help him out. He has forced me to pay his taxes, give him one of my stimulus bills, buy him food. He becomes irate if things aren't exactly how he wants it. He loves to make plans only to cancel at the last minute and then gaslight me about it. He would refuse to go out with me to events but then drop everything to go hang out with his friends.
I always told him that if he can't contribute financially due to not having enough or having work, it's fine but he should contribute by doinf household chores. He refuses.
I think what is going on is that my mind is trying to protect me by compartmentalizing and lessen the gravity of the situation and of what occurred this past weekend. I see the signs of being in an abusive relationship but I don't fully believe that I am in one because it doesn't fit what we all have been told are the signs of an abusive relationship.
In February he pushed some storage bins into me, one of which broke and cut me in my back because I told his parents that he hadn't been working for the past two months.
This past weekend which we were walking through a soon to be closed mall, I had been recording the beautiful 80's/90's architecture when he said wait, I instinctively turned around and he was scratching himself. I laughed a little bit and turned back and continued walking. Since I had my phone in my hand he thought I had recorded him, he rushed down the hallway angrily asking me if I recorded him and to give him my phone. I said I didn't and kept walking,I was wearing a hoodie and he grabbed my hood and pulled, angrily telling me to give him my phone, I told him to let go that he was hurting me. I tried to keep on walking but he was still holding onto and pulling my hood. He then proceeds to try to grab the phone out of my hands. You know when someone tries to grab something out of your hands and both of you start grappling over the item, that's what happened. My phone is brand new and did not have a case yet and I was worried he would smash it into the ground. I know my personal safety is more important than a phone but I couldn't let go even if I wanted to, he had grabbed onto me and was in the process of pushing me into the wall when a guy rounded the corner.
He didn't step in nor call the police as far as I know. I took the opportunity to get away from my boyfriend as quickly as I could.
I ran to the train station, he kept on yelling at me "Are you really going to act like this", I didn't answer. My neck and throat burned from where his was pulling back on my hoodie. I started to cry. There was a lady who seemed to notice that something was going on and nodded her head in approval when she saw me rushing past to get into the station.
When he finally did catch up to me and when he texted and called me afterwards, he kept on blaming me for what happened. He said that I shouldn't have walked away from him when he grabbed onto my hood and that I should have told him that I was playing around and pretending to record him( which is what I said to placate him). When I said that he shouldn't have grabbed my hoodie and pulled he retorted with the so now it's my fault, as if I made him pull my hoodie and react like that.
I wanted to go home but I didn't have my keys on me, so I went down to a nearby marina and watched the boats for awhile.
I ultimately ended up at his parents house. I did not tell them what happened. In the past he would become enraged when he found out that I had told his sisters or mom about what was really going on, and would forbade me to either go to a family function or to say anything. His dad then proceeded to have a conversation about selling his house and giving us the proceeds to buy a house but we should have two kids. His parents have been pressuring me have a child with him even though we aren't married. I want to get married and have a small church wedding but according to my boyfriend I don't deserve a wedding. He also shared with us the importance that both people in a relationship need to contribute financially and pay bills, I told him he should tell that to his son, not me. It would be insanity to have a child with a man like him. I know that he will not change who he is if a child came along.
My friends are aware of the general situation (not of this latest incident), some of my family is aware of the general situation( I don't want them to worry and I don't want to bring unnecessary drama into their lives). His family is aware, one of his older sister's told me to call her for help when I wanted to end things with him and she would come over but when I actually did reach out to her, she said that I was an adult and would need to handle things on my own. I think she feigned concerned in order to get information to gossip with the rest of their family.
I am scared of him. Scared of how he would react if I stand firm in him needing to leave. Scared that he will harm my friends, family, himself and me. He has threaten suicide before. He has threaten to harm my pet. He has threaten to steal my mom's ashes. I have asked him to leave before and either he refuses or he simply ignores me.Him leaving is not that simple. He has nothing to lose yet at the same time everything to lose. He doesn't want to go back to his parents house because they will make him find a full time job and then won't let him do what he wants, he would have less freedom( couldn't smoke weed)...and those are his words not mine. He has never agreed to a break or even a temporary visit because he would "come back madder". He knows if he does leave, I will try to end things with him.
He comes across as a calm, chill guy when he is around my friends and family because he is high all or most of the time. That calm, chill guy is not who he really is. He is angry, volatile, and cruel. Yes, he has his moments of kindness(or niceness) and sweetness. Is it "nice" to have someone around to talk with, yes. Who seemingly care about when you will be back home, yes. but do those niceties outweigh everything else that has happened.
There is so much more that I could add to this post, but I am exhausted and I have blocked several incidents out. He constantly tries to gaslights me. He lied about his background and education. He has gotten physical several other times as well as verbally/emotionally. He has engaged in several sexting relationships, most notably with his ex Christy and his "friend" Lore. When I expressed how hurtful his cheating was he stated that is who he is, that he's the kind guy but since he didn't sleep with them, it's fine, it's not cheating. These girls also do not see anything wrong with what they have done.
I do not have any immediate family ie siblings or parents. Therefore, I cannot go and stay with family until he leaves or have a family member accompany me while he moves out. I do have extended family in the area but life has taught me that there is no guarantee that they will help you even if you desperately need it. It's the American way to find your own way out of problems and pull yourself up by your bootstraps ( I say this sarcastically).
The apt. is in my name and I'm pretty sure there is a clause in it that states that if there are domestic disturbances I would have to move out. As stated above I don't have anywhere else to go, so he must leave.
Sometimes I think that this is my lot in life and that I should just accept it. I find myself questioning if what happened on Saturday really is abuse or if it was just a misunderstanding that got a little bit out of hand. Sometimes I just don't know anymore.

I 16f have been dating my boyfriend 16m for almost 2 years. Our 2 year anniversary will be next month, if we last that long.
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effecred by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected) Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)

I mean she was a neglectful meth head, but when my grandfather let me see her behind my grandmothers' back she seemed to really want to foster a relationship with me.
I was already very eclectic but she introduced me to so many concepts and art and seemed to be supportive of me being openly queer in my teens.
We used to watch scary movies and go to metal shows together, dumpster diving, etc. She really should've never had a kid. She's a big kid herself and I'm not mad about that. She's always cared about animals more than herself too, often having dozens of dogs at a time that she'd find homes for.
In 2019 I let her move in with me when I still had my old home because my aunt committed probate fraud against the both of us and made her homeless. I took her and 15 dogs in because my aunt was driving back and forth past my house trying to intimidate me and I was terrified to be home alone.
My mom wasn't perfect but at least she wasn't like her mother, the conservative nut who raised me...or so I thought.
Lockdown happens and she lost it. She was already up all the time but I'd constantly hear her in these chat rooms with these weird ass men and what made it cringy was how much of a pick-me she was with them.
One time she invited one of her qanon friends over so they could roast me because I don't believe the earth is flat. She literally laughed at me and said ________ has always been ...impressionable hahaha.
She began talking shit about Trans people and started thinking everyone is actually a man. It wasn't long until she was vocal about her disdain for me being gay too. She was never so hateful before, and by her own logic she's probably a man too. She's definitely got the arms of a navy seal and the jawline of someone participating in the fellatio Olympics.
She began inviting all these other awful people to my house, and her meth dealer boyfriend who carried a cross for two years in our town. Even he gets sick of her rants on nasa, vaccines, and transwomen even though he partially agrees her.
I haven't seen her or sent a picture since before my 30th birthday. I'm 31 now and it's because everytime she calls its because she needs to borrow my ID or social security for some bs reason. She ruined my credit and it's taken me years to fix it.
I didn't bother to bring up top surgery to her because I didn't want to hear her vitriol or bronze age mythology references stating that jahovah had a "special role" for me as a "helper" to some scrote. She's already larping like that with breaking bad over there.
Not to mention She's been on the vaccines cause autism train for years, despite the fact that her brother and mother are both on the spectrum and there's a high possibility she is too. I have audhd, the adhd part most likely being from her smoking meth during pregnancy.
I think her homophobia towards me stems from her wanting to be a grandmother but best I can do is four legged cuties.
But on a lighter note I've figured out what I want to send her as a Christmas card:
Me, with my top surgery scars, holding my cat like a baby, by a 5g tower, a NASA hat and a vest that says AUTISM RULES, while I sodomize my equally genderfluid lover while they hold up our vaccine cards.
Whatcha think

Many of us watched the latest Careers tutorial and walked away a bit less than enthused given the lack of gameplay that was shown. I like the ambition of having absolutely no rabbitholes in the world and having each career be an open and active career but in order to do that, you need to have all the careers have some core gameplay to it that will make it interesting, otherwise, you just have rabbitholes we can see into and are taking up game performance.
Here are 5 ideas of what core features I think they should consider for careers. I say core features because I know they expect that the community will and should create mods that add more features to careers but I believe for all aspects of the game, there is core gameplay that the developers need to put in so we do not feel like we NEED mods to make an interesting and fun gaming experience.
Core Features for LBY Careers:

1. Inactive/non-controlled characters should be routinely pushed to your active character's job lot during your shift. We all saw how empty the tutorial worlds are and that really affects the ability to make even the most exciting job interesting if you are the only one around. The devs need to ensure that there are people around for you to interact with and should mark lots that have your active/controlled person there with a high attractiveness so inactives are more drawn to that lot. This does not mean that everyone in town should show up but it should be relative to the type of lot. For example, if you work at a library, it would be natural for there not to be a lot of people but definitely bookworms, loners, people that like peace and quiet should be pushed to that lot. Whereas if you work at a bar or a restaurant, it should attract a wide range of people and I would expect those places to busy at specific times.
2. Ability to set business traffic hours. Related to the above, for career lots, we should be able to set the hours when we want a high attractiveness for that lot. So for example, if you work at a cafe lot, you would probably set your high traffic hours around the morning (7am-10am) vs a restaurant or bar which would more likely be in the evening (7pm-10pm). This will allow for a good flow between you having to focus just on work tasks, helping customers and having downtime to goof off, socialize, take breaks, etc. making your days more interesting and allowing you to be more strategic with your time management.
3. Coworkers. This is a must. Once you assign your active chara to a career lot, the game should automatically assign 2-3 coworkers to the lot as well if there aren't already. Just like in real life, your interactions with your coworkers is what makes your job interesting or not. There should also be work-specific dialogue/conversations built in (which can be expanded with mods). As long as the relationship mechanics are there in the game and the AI is working as it should, just the existence of coworkers should make playing your career more dynamic.
4. Meaningful Tasks and Interactions that impact career progression. In the tutorial, we saw the tasks were just box-checking exercises (literally) that seemingly had no impact to your chara or their job. Tasks need to have an impact. If I don't do a task, there needs to be a reason why it affects my job performance. For example, for the grocery store job, shelves should get emptied as customers make purchases and only then should I need to restock them. If I don't restock them then customers will have nothing to purchase and my job performance should suffer from that. If there's a spill on the ground and I don't clean it up, someone could then slip and fall on it and sue the company and I could get fined for that or lose my job. We know you can shoplift in the store so there should bonuses for employees catching shoplifters which in itself is like a minigame. Also if you catch your coworker stealing from the register, you can report them to management which might get them demoted or fired but might get you promoted or give you a bonus. Tasks need to be there for a reason.
5. Think "jobs" vs. "careers" and treat them differently. Working at a grocery store or retail store is a job so it's very task-oriented but working as a lawyer or a marketing exec is a career so should be less about tasks and more about accomplishing long-term goals to advance your career. Rather than having one-off tasks for these types of jobs, tasks should be more long-term and complex, for example, building relationships or advancing yourself in certain skills. Also think about projects that can be given to our charas as tasks that operate as quests so it requires multiple steps and days to complete. And because it's quest based, it's customizable and easily moddable since there is a Quest Editor in the game.

These are my 5 but interested to hear what others think should be considered core career gameplay that needs to be in the game.

I 16f have been dating my boyfriend 16m for almost 2 years. Our 2 year anniversary will be next month, if we last that long.
I love my boyfriend very much but our relationship has been effected by both of us going through a rough patch mentally right now (no triggers for it, just sad or depressed). My sadness makes my boyfriend sad, and when my boyfriend is sad I'm sad and my reasoning is because I care about him and I don't like seeing him sad, however he said there isn't really much of a reason why he becomes sad when I am.
The past few days my boyfriend told me he's been getting thoughts on breaking up with me. I personally think it's because he's sad and possibly depressed, but I don't think he thinks so. When I was very sad and depressed, I had these thoughts too and I'd feel nothing towards him or anyone, until I was happy again. However, with my boyfriend it's different. He also said he doesn't like the idea of breaking up, but he can't decide mentally if that's what he wants to do. I've told him countless times i don't think breaking up would benefit him because I think it's just sadness (he still says I love you back and he says it every night before we sleep, but that's been our ritual for so long). I told my boyfriend he's possibly just overthinking it but he said he knows exactly what he's thinking, he just hasn't got a conclusion whether to break up with me or not. I kept telling him to at least wait to become happy to decide but I don't think he's considering doing that.
I don't want to break up with him. We've been through so much and our relationships is properly long term. I don't think breaking up is wise, at least in this moment of time. I want to try lots of things to make him happy again but every time I think I've succeeded, it doesn't look like I have from his actions and expressions.
Do you think it could be his sadness or was it my sadness that caused this? (I'm not as sad anymore but he keeps getting effected)
Would breaking up over this be wise? (He hasn't given a reason to wanting to break up. When he feels this way, he gets sad and says he's unsure if he loves me, which is exactly what I went through when I was sad)
TL;DR: - boyfriend has been sad for a while and has breaking up crossing his mind and I think it's just thoughts but he thinks it's more serious than that and he said he hasn't concluded whether he wants to break up or not, but I don't want to because I don't think this is worth breaking up over
Edit - spelling error

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.