I've been sober and living in my childhood home. Got a new job, and made new friends. The other night we all went to denmys and talked for 2 hours. I can't believe how much my life has changed so quickly. I made sober friends quicker in 3 weeks than living 4 years on my own. I'm so happy to be sober right now. Watching a funny movie, browsing reddit and waiting on dinner.

Hi, I'm f(22) and I'm receiving texts from a coworker I used to work with before the restaurant we worked at was shut down due to covid. I used to work as a cook and this coworker was a waiter. I used to be friends with him until he; I guess the best way to put it would be snapping at me. We would talk on Snapchat a lot where he would tell me his life story, the latest on marvel or D.C comics and movies. He even lent me a few of his movies which I always return in good condition. I always like to talk to him or hang with him during our shifts. We were good friends and coworkers. Then one day he opened up about his life. I felt bad after he told me how his wife divorced him, how he lost his home, and his car. That he resorted to drinking when life got him down in the dumps. He made me feel bad for him and I tried to make him feel better. I told him that I'm sorry for what happened to him. That at least his family is supporting him now and that I'm here and happy to lend an ear. I told him I understood how he must've felt in that time but he got mad. He told me I don't understand anything cause I'm maybe ten or twenty years younger than him. (I was 18 at the time) He said I don't know what true pain is and that I'm joking if I actually understand shit. He made me feel awful and stupid for trying to be his friend. This was all on Snapchat and at the time I took screenshots of our texts (I don't have them now sadly) I had showed them to my exboyfriend who had a talk with the coworker. He apologized but it felt forced and either way I slowly stopped talking to him. When the restaurant closed down I stopped talking to him completely. Now years later he's texting me on Snapchat out of nowhere. Going off for being a bad friend. I haven't spoken to him in over four years on anything yet here he is just going off on me after I accidentally viewed his snap. I don't use Snapchat a lot but I mainly use it to talk to my family. I barely post on there and I'm not really sure how (not that I want to). He's still texting me calling me a bad friend and saying I'm funny cause all I know how to do is take screenshots. He sent emojis, telling me "oh no don't embarrass me!" I don't say anything in response instead I've been taking screenshots because his behavior is very odd. He's been getting angry each time I screenshot our conversation. I don't know how to respond to him but I don't know if I want to. We both live in a one party consent state and I know if I post our screenshots here he can't do anything to hurt me but should I post our screenshots here? I don't want him to know it's me but I also want him to stop. Should I just block him or answer back? He's at least in his late thirties early forties yet he's acting like angry teen. Did I do something to deserve this? All I can remember is accidentally viewing his snap story. I didn't leave a comment or messaged him in fact I don't know how he knew I viewed it. All I know is that he's angry with me for just screenshoting our messages and not actually responding but i know if I do respond he'll try to use whatever I say against me even if I'm super nice. So what should I do?

CANCER ZODIAC GETS MYSTERIOUS SURPRISE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXMEaNCO7FU
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January 29, 2384 - the day of the last total eclipse is when the raid began. “The day of the sun's false shadow” as people call it now. We, humans, were an unsuspecting victims in a universe habited by multiple vastly stronger existences. When it happened the world had been thrown into utter chaos and shock. The sun had been completely covered by the moon and this event was supposed to last only a short while however after two hours sunlight had still not shown its face upon the earth's surface. This was the beginning of humanity's greatest tribulation. After days of the sun's light not being shown the planet's temperature began to drop and to compensate for this people began to create massive fires but this did not stop the problem. Photosynthesis in plants began to stop, making it harder for humans to breathe. This made humans build labs and create artificial oxygen, which took care of that problem but humans still began to die from hypothermia, frozen oceans, and forced stoppage of blood flow. After two weeks, the sun finally revealed itself and all hope had been restored in humanity collectively only for half the population to be massacred in an instant. “The watchers” had been slowly waiting with armies to colonize our planet and technology beyond our wild comprehension. Technology we can only dream of had been shown and used right before our very eyes and for the first time in all of human history, we had been united as one in our mutual fear and horror. 2 months later, 90% of humanity has been wiped out and the few who remained were used as slaves to cultivate energy. With the use of a Dyson shell, nearly 80% of the sun's energy and heat had been directed into maintaining their energy. Amongst all this time, humanity had collectively agreed to fight back. This began the creation of the liberation group, “the Plague”. These groups of people were the last hope of humanity and carried an extremely large ambition and dream on their shoulders. While “the watchers” were extremely advanced this doesn't change the fact that they were fallible and this group of people were their scourge. They didn't have the military might nor the advanced brain to even keep up against “the watchers” but through slavery and forced labor, the human body began to develop into something stronger. They began to surpass their limits and break the barriers that the human mind had once placed on themselves. Through the selective farming of “the watchers” a new plant had developed that was essentially a stimulant to the human body and a limit breaker for their physical capabilities. At first, they began by using strong levels of acid to corrode the buildings and structures and then stopping their heartbeat to give the impression of suicide so they could not be caught, however, they did not die due to a new system developed from the human's newfound evolution. Due to the strict regimen that we had to follow, we knew all of the places where they would and wouldn't be, all the blind spots of the planet, all the places where they were in close proximity to a chasm, and all the places where we were at a disadvantage. We used the blindspots as bases and hideouts where we could plan our vengeance. After a year of just observing their behavior, habits, bodily functions, and even their schedules we developed a hypothesis that 24 seconds after 7:39 PM we have approximately 19 minutes and 53 seconds in Greenland where we are not being watched nor located. We used this small window of time to gather the fundamental items we needed to fight back and build the foundation for our organization. We gathered food, plants, water, armor, and weapons. We realized that they were immune to cutting/slicing damage and could only be hurt through blunt attacks. With this knowledge, we developed a specific fighting style and used that small time frame to train others in it. We adapted to the harsh conditions and created clothes using spare pieces from “the watchers” specially made for insulating heat, weighing less, and being less penetrable by outside attacks. After a year every person on the planet was a master at this martial arts and had fully developed a counter to all technology that “the watchers” had. However, we could not initiate immediate war on them so we needed a plan. We came up with the idea to have one of our strongest members report to the watchers about our activity and give away one of our bases. This created the false notion that not only did they have someone working as a double agent on their side but also they knew where we would be so they could catch us off guard. We were all there like they expected and they attacked like planned. We had all moved our weapons, armor, and vital items into a different base but kept some things where they attacked to make them think we had not gotten far but this was a dud. Eventually, we had all “died” and had our bodies left at that place as a sign of victory on their side. However, because of this, their ego had grown and they began to underestimate us. The surveillance had gotten weaker as they assumed their “double agent” would tell them everything as a trade for luxury living. We knew that physical power would not be enough so our smartest man collaborated to develop a virus specifically made for their genetic makeup which took about 5 years to extract small strands of DNA without them realizing. Once the virus had been created the incidence began and eliminated more than 60 percent of “the watchers” because of how they were too distracted trying to develop a cure and the vast amount of them dying, we had gained more time to develop our forces and we began to ingest various harmful substances but in small doses in order to gain resistance to any harmful poisons and acids. After new children start to be born this began the origin of a new human species. One massively stronger, smarter, more durable, and with all the immunities and benefits without the downsides. With the birth of this new generation, all of the human race had experienced a collective euphoria. We had begun to secretly train these kids for years and strengthen them in a way the human race had never been before. Due to the circumstances of their birth, they had also developed a strong ability for adaptation and healing factor which ultimately led to humans finally being able to physically compete with “the watchers”. However, we were still lacking in numbers despite the virus taking a vast majority of “the watchers” away. Some of us grew confident and because we were now physically capable some believed we could win the war while others believed we couldn’t yet. This created division within our ranks but did not necessarily break our ranks but that was all depending on your interpretation. We gathered our smartest men and women to make a plan to initiate war, and for 14 days they were stuck in ruminative thought. 2 years passed and we had finally built up the numbers, technology, and physical capabilities to contend with the watchers. Now on the day of the war, all of our strongest soldiers imitated the attack. But this time they were an unsuspecting victim on a planet habited by a stronger species. During the war we had counters for nearly everything the watchers could dish out but one thing we were not aware of was the fact that the watchers could transform into a smaller but faster, stronger, and more durable form. This form took the shape of humankind. So closely related that it struck fear into the hearts of many. Not only was this extremely off-putting but the revelation that came along with it had altered the perception of humanity as we know it. The war had been put to a halt, and all forced fighting in the war had directed their attention to one watcher and one watcher alone. All forces had been completely immobilized and fighting back was no longer capable. With this, the words that had been spoken out of the watcher were a revelation that humanity had not even considered possible. “We are not your enemies. We are you but from the future. In our original timeline, we have been attacked by a species even higher than us. We had been pushed to the brink of extinction and our last hope was only to go back in time in hopes that if we returned to our past selves we could help evolve even more to contend with the world-ending threats from the future. This siege we had laid on this planet and the forced evolution, progression, and tragedy among humankind also brought extreme progression in human capabilities. All of you are vastly superior to your previous forms because of our arrival. While we acknowledge our methods were not the ideal we had no other option. This was the fastest and most effective method to progress the human species although we could not allow the human race to have this win. It would boost the ego of your race and our all of you in a state of comfort and stagnation. With this being said we resign from our participation in this war and would greatly appreciate it if you allowed us to help humanity rebuild and donate technology.” Speechless as to what humanity has just heard we just stood there in utter shock and disbelief. Not a single soul knew what to say and all of humanity had stood in confusion. One man spoke “how do we know this is true” the watcher proceeded to show pictures and videos of them being massacred while some stood in human form and others did not. They showed is this along with the words, “we initiated this war as a way to put the human race through natural selection and eliminate all the weak human being who would not be able to contribute to our growth and success in any upcoming battle. So with that being said what is your decision?” Our leader, and the smartest woman among us had stated, “We humbly decline this offer as we would prefer to evolve by our capabilities and we have already surpassed you so what can you possibly teach us.” After this being stated the war had been started again and the watchers had been for the first time since the “great cleansing” began utterly defeated and annihilated. With the war being won, humanity being victorious, and newfound abilities being discovered humanity had been thrown into an era of peace and prosperity. All tragedies had been blamed on the watchers and for the first time humanity had an ever lasting peace and a perfect utopia where everyone agreed and benefited from each other. With this, we have been vastly improving and slowly but steadily rebuilding our planet and all of humankind. Our members started family’s and genuinely enjoyed the life they were living once again. Everyone acting coyly and with one another was a beautiful side to behold. Everything was perfect until the same monsters who killed the watchers, showed up to eliminate us due to fear of what we could evolve into this time we had no way to fight back and our ranks were already diminished or severely weakened. How would humanity be able to survive this time???Most people had been massacre and captures to be experimented on. Very few of us had actually managed to get away from them and we had only been able to do this through shadow banishment. It was a skill that we had acquired through the technology of the watchers. Living in the void was not the ideal lifestyle as it was ruthless, dirty, and unsafe but the chances of surviving here were massively higher than surviving on earth. Only a hundred of us remained and the human species were basically extinct. With this small group left we had resorted to instead of trying to repopulate and exact revenge immediately we would take the short route. In the void monsters had no sort of civilization and the only rule amongst these creatures were the strongest prevail. There was no sort of rule, order, or even a sense of respect between these monsters. The weak were prey for the strongest, and the strong were killed by the stronger. We took this as an opportunity to not only increase our strength by training and battling but also amassing an empire. The remind of humanity collectively agree that we would bring order and peace to the void. The best way to go through this was by entering the tournament. The monsters held tournaments to watch the strongest fight and kill each other for pure fun. We joined this colosseum and while at first we easily overwhelmed our opponents we had slowly been facing harder and harder opponents as we rose through the ranks. By the time even a single one of us was defeated we had made a name and gained the attention of multiple monsters within the void. We were not necessarily respected or followed but we were feared and simultaneously an opponent that monsters wished to fight. After this we had developed our own fighting ring in which monster could fight and battle against us and only us. We implied a set of rules in this ring. Rule 1; no killing Rule 2; reservations must be made to fight Rule 3; both parties must consent Rule 4; do not make the fight personal Rule 5; it must be between a human and monster. These rules created a sense of security amongst the monsters and while driven by their desire of battle they also abided by the rules. Eventually after fighting throughout the tournament and gaining more traction with the monsters in it. Eventually even the most high ranked demons had begun to make reservations in for our fights. Our strongest soldiers had been the ones to fight them as nobody else can really compete. The first fight had been with a demon who had the ability of immunity. This ability did not only revolve around internal status effects but also could be applied to his physical body. The fight had been the biggest one the ring had ever experienced and it did not disappoint. Eventually we had won and this through the whole entire void and everyone in it into an uproar. Monsters who never even bothered to fight had shown up to battle. The strongest monster in the void and the only monster with a sense of order, self, and purpose had shown up to fight all humans by himself. He agreed that if we win he would pledge allegiance to us all and work under our rule however if we lose we will be killed. This monster bore an extreme resemblance humans. The structure of his body and the contents of it were all human like however he claimed not to be. This monsters name was angel and he possessed the ability to manipulate and control all matter with the sole exception of any other organic material that resided outside of his own body. Our commander and strongest member amongst us was the person to fight him. His name was Alexander and despite the fact that we didn't have any singular special powers like him however our physical bodies were honed greater than any other species in existence. They were evenly matched in speed and strength and even in our capabilities to rapidly heal from damage. They had been evenly matched in all physical ability and the fight had ultimately come to hand to hand combat and who could last longer. Angel was unmatched in combat and had barely even been hit due to how experienced in martial arts he had been; however throughout the fight Alexander had been naturally adapting to his fighting style and developing counters to everything. Our natural ability to adapt to all attacks and effects placed upon us had given a clear win condition; however time was needed to actually see and fully understand how to possibly adapt to everything. The longer the fight took the higher the chance of Angel losing. Alexander had slowly but steadily been adapting and developing new combat styles to counter everything angle could do and even had grown to use his own severed limbs as projectiles and use his blood as a coat over all other objects to cancel his ability to use his field. Angel's main ability had been to control the air around him to increase speed, power, and even get a sense of what his opponent would be doing before it happened. After finally adapting to this his body had begun to heat itself in an attempt to turn it into vapor and due to blood being organic matter of another life form he would no longer have control of the air and the surrounding area. After this the fight had come down to solely base physical capabilities and for 10 minutes they had been mindlessly brawling and instantaneously healing through the damage taken. After a long period of time their healing began to slow down due to bodily fatigue. Biting, punching, scratching, kicking, anything you can think of, they did it. That fight was a bloodbath unlike anything else and in the end they both passed out on the floor with nothing left besides their bodies soaked and bathed in each other's blood. After they had both been knocked unconscious their bodies had been left there in anticipation for them to awaken. The ring filled beyond capacity as people argued and fought about who would awaken first. In anticipation for this once in a lifetime event the whole void had stopped with all its attention. Angel was the first to awaken and he had been exhausted and utterly stunned as to how he actually had gotten knocked out. He had the opportunity to kill his opponent as he had technically won the battle but out of respect for his opponents strength and capabilities he possessed. After the fight had finished Angel had left and was never to be seen again. After 2 weeks Alexander had awoken in a small shack being guarded by one other human and confused after everything had been explained to him he had went around looking for angel but he was not to be found. After awakening Alexander had been massively stronger than before. Due to the physical state his body was put in and all the damage that he had taken from Angel his body had adapted and become more dense in order to take all the attacks while sustaining the least amount of damage possible. After his awakening this began our political revolution. We had now implemented the ring with rules and gotten multiple monsters to follow by these rules and with them being accurate to filling orders more now we had decided to initiate a leadedictator in a sense. The top 5 strongest creatures in the void had been the leaders and this had consisted of Alexander at 1, 2 other demons at 2 and 3, and humans to fill the final spots. We began to implement laws and rules in order to stop the mass murder and destruction happening and within a small time frame we had created structures similar to the ones of the earth. Houses and gyms in order to train in hopes of becoming stronger and even professional combat sports. After 2 months time had passed we had developed a military with our best members in it and humbly had began to repopulate. All this had been done in hopes of regaining the earth and defeated our oppressors. Fast forward 1 months the and the siege of the home planet had begun. They had not been suspecting us however took the preparations in case we had come. Based and soldiers set up in every corner of the world to fight back when the time came we did come back. With this an all out war for the fate of humanity had began and the extinction of either race lay in the balance between life and death.
After the war had began all forces had been deployed to different areas of the planet. Groups that had worked together best being deployed to one part while our strongest being deployed to another. At first we had been nearly even in everything besides technology. They had everything that we lacked and this gave them the combative edge. However despite lacking in technology we made up for it in numbers. Most fights had consisted of large groups of monsters fighting against one or two of our enemy and this has convoluted till their forces had been somewhat deployed. The one on one fights had been more dragged out and heavily impacted the war. Our strongest soldiers fighting against their strongest soldiers in a one on one fight. Everyone has put their all into this battle and left nothing to spare. Our second and third strongest soldiers had the most impact in this war not because of who they fought but because of what they could do. They didn’t actually have abilities specific to them but instead they were born with a type of energy within their bodies in which they called “synergy”. This synergy could be used to amp all their physical abilities but also be used to crate and use techniques or even use techniques that are specific to the traits of the individuals soul. The strength and physical stats of the individual depended on how much synergy they had at their disposal and while some of them were able to gather strength from other life forms it was not a very common occurrence. Alexander fought someone with the ability to control and manipulate momentum. They used synergy and funneled it through all objects of their choice to increase or decrease of momentum of that. This didn’t do much on a wide scale and was a very basic ability but in a solo battle this made it extremely hard to land attacks and even when they were landed they did little to no damage. The most important one to kill had the ability to manipulate all probability. Meaning the likelihood of us even winning this war was less then .0001 percent with them being alive. Whether it was because of a collection of small losses or one major loss did not make a difference. All odds were stacked against us as long as this person remained on the battlefield. In simple terms the whole war relied on the defeat of that person. Our second in command and smartest soldier, “Cassandra” decided to take this upon herself. She was the only one among us who possessed an innate ability and was viewed as the most special soldier but this came at a cost. She gained a talent no other human possessed but in return she no longer had the natural ability to adapt to all circumstances. Her ability was to take the form and attributes of any and all creature she knew to exist. Mythical or not she could take the shape and ability of these creatures and use it as long as she desired. However she could only use one at a time and had to wait 30 seconds in between shifting. Our third in command, “Vladimir” had took the roll of fighting their head technologist. While his opponent had not specialized in battle he still was one of the most dangerous and this was because of his ability to create machines as small as molecular level that shared his thoughts and emotions. These machines were used to repair his body in case on injury, transport information, invade any opponents body and restrict movement, anything that he deemed possible could be done with the use of those machines. But he chose to mainly use them as sort of technological tools to help him further advance his society. The rest of our battles were not nearly as important and were mostly group battles. Afro the beginning portion of Alexander’s fight he had been losing severely and could barely land any attacks at all. After a few minutes of getting beat down and not being able to fight back the adaptation process began. The first adaptation was only a temporary solution to the problem but his body had been explosively shooting out sharpened pieces of his bones and even using tiny droplets of blood as weapons. However this was only a temporary solution because eventually those bones and blood just started being slowed also. The final adaptation and most effective one happened when his body created a function in which he can store kinetic energy and then release it at any given time. This allowed him to rapidly boost his speed whenever his momentum had been slowed and basically cancel out his opponent power. However this still did not stop how his opponent made himself significantly faster. After this the fight had been more tipped into Alexander’s favor but still not enough to actually win. Throughout the progression of the fight Alexander had been gathering more and make friction between the clothes he had and his feet running against the floor. After gathering as much friction and kinetic energy as possible he let it all explode and release all over his body. This altered the form of his body. His body and skin began to form cracks and let off steam. He began to turn dark red and his eyes became shot with blood. His body was slowly crumbling and deteriorating. He had 5 minutes left to defeat his opponent and if he did not then his body would crumble and he would die. Due to his rapid healing factor he had a chance of living if he was able to end the fight within 5 minutes and give himself some time to rest but this all depended on how much he could get done. The battle had been tilted all the way in Alexander’s favor and had no longer been a battle. It had turned into if his opponent could outlast him in those 5 minutes. Brutally beating his opponent and taking full advantage of the situation Alexander did not relent on his rampage. Stopping his momentum no longer mattered and it seemed like the more he tried the faster Alexander got. Steam had been blowing off him. In the end he had managed to kill his opponent within those 5 minutes and had been at deaths door. Cassandra had began her battle and had been absolutely obliterating her opponent. The ability to shape shift from dragons, unicorns, hydras, centaurs, and any mythical creature you can think of. At first she had taken the abilities of a dragon but throughout the fight she had been developing into stronger and more complex creatures. After a while her opponent had been decreasing the probability of her even landing attacks. This made it extremely hard for her to fight and maintain the advantage. She took the appearance and abilities of the mythical deity sun wukong. Due to sun wukong being a monkey that ascended into a higher power he is one of the only gods that she can transform into. After this she gained the ability to not only make clones out of every hair on her body but also multiply the power of each clone. While she does not possess every power sun wukong has she possesses some of them and the most prominent ones. This fight had been a one sided beatdown and only lasted longer than 2 minutes because the probability of each clone attacking each other had been raised to its maximum percentage. Despite this every 1000 punches that had been thrown at least 1 hit her opponent and this was more than he could handle from millions of clones. Vladimir had no special capabilities; he only possessed an extremely honed body and battle experience. At first they had been near equal but the battle began to take a turn when the tiny bugs began to infest his body and eat him from the inside. Due to his advanced healing factor he had been able to stop any significant damage and fight with mild discomfort but this did not change that if he continued in for a longer period of time then he would inevitably be defeated by these bugs and killed. This made the battle a race against time. Expending everything his body had to offer and leaving not a single drop of energy left. Pushing his body to the absolute peak and physical limit. Even going beyond the known capabilities of his body he began to evolve into a higher form. He did not develop any new type of power or gain a newfound power but he did increase and rapidly evolve his physical capabilities. He began to punch with such speed and strength that he created shockwaves from breaking the sound barrier. With this his punches became far more explosive and with every punch thrown he was exploding giant parts of his opponents body and everything within the perimeter. With no regard to his surroundings the battle had destroyed everything in sight and left them fighting in a bare wasteland. Basically erasing everything within line of his punches he began to annihilate his opponent with speed and strength unmatched. Due to all the tiny machines within his body he regrow limbs and was able to counter attack with near no fatigue or even lag in his action. While pushing his body to its absolute limit his body had given up on him. Rapidly healing from constant damage, pushing muscles to their utmost limit, moving, attacking at his highest speed, and even understanding/ perception of all attacks massively faster then he could ever before. Due to all this his body began to give out and in the midst of battle he fell and was unable to recover. No longer able to fight back and maintain the performance he had, he was defeated. Being eaten from the inside, limbs being torn from his body, and being damaged so much that not even his regeneration could keep up. His head had been ripped off his body and with this humanity had suffered its first major loss. After this all other forces began to gain support from all his other bugs and humanities forces had been rapidly depleting. With loss in sight humanity had lost hope and accepted defeat. Right when humanity had accepted defeat and all hope had been lost the king had shown himself once again. Like an Angel coming to bless all of humanity he had run through and obliterated all enemies of humanity. Destroying everything in sight and bringing all enemies to his feet he had saved humanity and restored hope and just like that he had disappeared into the void once again. There was no explanation as to how or why but in that moment all of humanity knew who we would be forever grateful and indebted to. Not many opponents had been left standing but the few who were, were extremely weakened and overwhelmed by numbers. After this decisive battle humanity had been in a state of joy and excitement out of their new victory. Once all the excitement and happiness from winning had worn off all the sorrow and remorse from the losses had come rushing in. All the lost family members, dead soldiers, limbs lost, and mental trauma had taken a toll on humanity. After we had gotten our planet back we did not spend our time rebuilding and trying to repopulate. We spent months mourning the loss of our loved ones and all our soldiers. We laid in depression and sorrow for our mutual loss and mental trauma. This brought humanity closer as a whole and we bonded over our suffering. Humanity had been one but at what cost. After years of processing humanity had finally been able to rebuild all of our structures, population, and even expand to different planets. After all these trials and tribulations we had finally evolved completely and after ages of loss we had finally entered a golden age of humanity. After all this we had begun to explore the deep parts of our planet and while exploring we discovered something far beyond our comprehension. Humanity had only been a small part of a vastly bigger world and a whole new world had now been exposed to us. We had breached through the ice caps of the north pole and had been greeted with hostility from a race on our planet we did not even know existed. After entering this “new world” humanity had found out the truth of our existence and creation. After finding out the truth of our creation and the prophecy of our faith we had all collectively regretted winning that war. Beyond our world laid horrors and truths we were not yet prepared for. After all this we had once again been thrown into a dark age with no will to fight. In the end this was the beginning of the end for humanity…

I read a lot of posts here before and after my procedure and they helped me a lot. Thank you for sharing your stories! I wanted to share some bits of my experience, too. So maybe this can be useful to someone the way other stories were useful to me.

1. Recovery after LEEP

First of all, LEEP is a method and it can be used to get samples of a different sizes. So two people can have completely different recovery experience after the same procedure. For instance, some have a really tiny part of cervix taken, like 0,5 cm deep and 1cm in diameter. In my case, that was way bigger, almost 2,6 cm in diameter. Of course, the bigger the piece taken — the harder the recovery. In my case, it took 2,5 weeks before I felt totally fine and was not scared of lifting things and of spotting my clothes with blood. So don't compare yourself to others blindly.

1. The scab

That brown thing in the first few days is not a scab. That's a medicine used to stop your cervix from bleeding. The scab falls off in 10-14 days and most probably will cause some bleeding, like a period. I got really scared when that happen as I read posts here and thought that brown thing was a scab. But my doctor clarified this to me, so I share the answer I got. And yes, check the bleeding carefully: If it is less intense than 1 soaked pad/hour for at least 2 hours in a row — you are good.

1. Anesthesia

I had my LEEP done under general anesthesia and I was happy I did. To be honest, enough of anxiety for me. But this was not mine decision to make — my OB GYN insisted I have it this way, because this makes work more comfortable for her and because a piece they took from me was quite big.

1. Pathology/Histology

Mine came in a week with a call from my OB GYN, who said those scary words "adenocarcinoma" but then added "in situ" (AIS). That's "in situ" is a huge difference actually. It means, that this is basically stage 0 cancer, when you can count yourself very, very lucky because it hasn't spread any further. In my case, I also got positive margins for CIN3, which is not good and means that in any case I'd need to repeat a procedure. However, most of women will get their results all clear but if you like me got AIS + CIN3 results — consider looking at it from this angle. You are extremely lucky to catch it early. Really.

1. Protocol for AIS.

Soon after my results came, I had an appointment with the CYN ONC. Basically, the protocol is pretty straight forward in cases like this. The best option is total hysterectomy, that saves the ovaries so I won't go into menopause (I am 38). The second option, in a case I want preserve my fertility, is to have CKC and hope for the negative margins. In case they are not, the procedure is repeated until they are (hopefully, because in some cases they are not ecen after repeated CKCs). For each procedure, you need to recover for 6 weeks and then have it all repeated. After the negative margins achieved, you have to be under close medical attention and have your PAP smears every 6 months. After you are done with the children, you recommended to have your hysterectomy still as there is still a risk to have skipped lesions. Those are the two options in a cases like this.

1. Hysterectomy

I opted for hysterectomy because with the AIS there is a risk that deeper in the uterus there is another focal of AIS or more advanced cancer that can go unnoticed. This is why hysterectomy is the most reliable option. I don't have children and now I try to find my peace with the fact that I will never have (or I'll suddenly become very rich and realize a complicated scheme with my frozen eggs and a surrogate mother). That's sad and all, but at the same time, I feel lucky and grateful for that I have a possibility to have it diagnosed on time and to have the treatment. There are a lot of women in the world who don't have this luxury. I am lucky and super glad I had that PAP test done, that (hopefuly) saved me from the advanced cancer in the future.
This is my experience so far. My surgery is scheduled at the end of June. Two more periods and it's over. Of course, I feel sad and I still need to work it through with my psychotherapist. But I am telling myself that with uterus or without, I am beautiful, worthy, happy and I'll have a wonderful life. That's the goal. Now, fingers crossed for the easy surgery, good pathology results and quick recovery afterwards.

I was dating a boy for almost six years until october. we were high school sweet hearts and met when we were 16. he broke up with me suddenly and gave me no other explanation aside from “i’m unsure about us.” he broke up with me on a 20 minute phone call—we were long distance (during academic terms) for the past two years (different colleges). He broke up with me in the middle of my midterms, one week after my depression diagnosis, and a week away from a serious academic verdict. After debating on what to do after moving back home following the end of the semester, and given we didn’t speak for four months, i reached out in December seeking closure, since i felt like i was at least owed an in person conversation.
Throughout our no contact his family constantly reached out to me and updated me on him, often against my will; his communication (which i wish i didn’t ever hear) was strange and aloof: “closure? we don’t need closure because i don’t know what’s going to happen.” In response to my ask for closure, he told me yeah we can have that sometime in january. During the break up, he made it clear we were fully broken up, though he kept using language indicating there could be a reconciliation some day. He was planning to still adhere to our grad school plans and hoped to end up in the same city as me, even asserting that my top city was his as well. Anyways, he texted me back saying hes still unsure blah blah. Then he randomly reached out two weeks later and said he wants to get back together and planned for a date on January 15th. I agreed. We went on the date and it went well. Once it came to talking about getting back together, I asked him if he had slept with anyone else during those four months, since I was not interested in us reconciling if he had. He said no. Multiple times. We talked things out, got back together, and went to his house to see his parents. We talked w them, laughed, then I slept over that night. That night we had sex two times. It was not after the second time we had unprotected sex that he admitted he had sex with one other person during the break up. We spent 18 hours straight talking and crying about it. The next day, he admitted that he lied and that it wasn’t one person, it was two people. He hadn’t tested for any STIs, he admitted he lied to me because he knew i didn’t want to get back together if he had slept with other people, and he wanted to be back together. Since then, he admitted the break up was because he was wondering if the grass was greener on the other side—he essentially wanted to experience other people and have other sexual experiences. He voiced that he wasn’t sure if I was pretty enough or good enough for him, and he feared he was settling. That’s why during the breakup he downloaded tinder and slept with two girls off of it. The first one was a hook up and the second one was more of a date-scenario. They had sex in his car for the first time and they rented an air bnb for the second time. The last time he had sex with her was the last week of December—less than two weeks before he texted me trying to get back together. We have been having a lot of trouble since this reconciliation, since there is little to no trust because of the lying, insecurities that have formed because of his fear of settling because of superficial standards, and the plain fact that he had sex with other girls during our breakup. Additionally, his hookup with the second girl remains the most hurtful since he never wanted to have car sex with me and refused to ever rent somewhere so we could have privacy. Since getting back together, he has had a 180 switch, being genuinely great, attentive, and secure in everything. According to him, he’s “locked in with us.” The concept of this is even troubling because why didn’t I inherently deserve this from the beginning? Why did he have to lose me and experience other people for me to finally receive the treatment any girlfriend should get? This all has propelled me into a reckless era, something that constantly leaves him insecure because I get a lot of male attention each night I go out—something he is admittedly not used to (I was never a partier).
I understand that the correct intellectual answer is to leave and that nothing is worth this much pain, but it’s hard when there’s so much history; we grew up together, we are each others first everything (and he’s still my only everything) so I really find myself in cycles of happiness and profound anger and pain. I feel like I can’t go to anyone about this because they will tell me to leave the relationship, which objectively I feel makes sense. But it’s hard to put what’s objectively “right” in practice when you are in love and have so much invested into a person. I don’t know if this is salvageable. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice about this?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS NUMEROLOGY DECODE

Since we all know exactly who and what Spongebob is, I am going to do a Numerology decode.
When it comes to Numerology, there are many different things you can look into. I am going to look into the letters, patterns, and Numerology personality numbers.
SPONGEBOB has a personality #6. 6 is the number of compassion, work ethic, criticism, cleanliness, and productivity. In the funny show, we see that Spongebob is a workaholic. He has a 5 destiny number which shapes who you are overall. 5 is connected to youthfulness which explains the silliness of the Spongebob character. He is always laughing and doing things funny. The 5 energy indicates this. 5 also points to people, places, and things that are unique. He has an 8 soul urge which explains his undying ambition and creativity.
We can see that SPONGEBOB has 2 O's which has the numeric energy of 15 and numeric value of 6. 15 is the creative use of energy for productivity. Again, 6 is the number of routine, work ethic and productivity goes with this. This energy is not only his personality number, but also it is within his name. It's really in him.
SPONGEBOB HAS DOUBLE NUMERIC VALUES IN HIS NAME WHICH ARE, 7,6,5, AND 2. This explains why he is able to show his emotions and have moments of sensitivity(2). Very compassionate(2) but also childish and silly(5) and able to come up with plans that work(7). Since these #s has double influence, we must considered what they equal. 7 twice equals 14/5 which shows how he is responsible and can make work fun even though it is a duty(6). 6 twice equals 12/3 which shows his social skills, life, and creativity. Another youthful energy as well. 5 twice equals 10/1 which points to his bravery and capability to take action. 2 twice equals 4 which is home,family,responsibility, and structure on the home front and he would make everyone feel comfortable for the most part.
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​
​

Selling a good part of collection - adding below one image of everything I'm selling but please see here for more detailed images: https://imgur.com/a/Toe2lRT
Happy to answer any questions or provide more pictures on condition, details, etc! Don’t hesitate to reach out to ask about prices as well - willing to work with you on pricing too :) Please be patient with me if I take a few hours to get back to you - I’m based in East Coast US so I may be delayed in getting back to you during working hours.
Will also work with you on best shipping options for you based on your address - I would prefer Paypal/Venmo F&F but would be willing to accept PayPal G&S if you are paying for the fee. I have sold my tour tickets here so I can provide proof as well!
(For full transparency, selling collection due to an international move on behalf of a friend. I have all these items in my possession and will be handling all aspects of the sale, etc. Just wanted to put this out there since I plan on being around in the US and being Army for much longer and don't want to misrepresent this is my collection! I have all these and much more.. hence why I am not taking any of these for myself lol)
DVDs

• 2017 Memories with Taehyung PC - $80
• 2019 Memories with RM PC, all POB, inclusions - $30 - please note sun damage on exterior binder - reminder to all reading to protect your DVDs from the sun :(
• 2020 Memories with Jin PC, POB, inclusions - $30 - slight sun damage on exterior binder
• 2021 Memories with Hobi PC, POB, inclusions - $30 - slight sun damage on exterior binder
• 2018 Season's Greeting (all inclusions) - $75 - rips in exterior paper but that's unavoidable due to packaging!
• 2021 Season's Greeting with Namjoon photo and all inclusions - $30
• 2022 Season's Greetings with Suga magnet (does not include QR code, desk calendar, diary or diary sticker) - $30
• 2020 Winter Package with Jin drawing book - all inclusions - photobook brand new and still in wrapping - $85
• 2021 Winter Package with RM PC and J-Hope film strip - all inclusions $55

Albums

• Butter albums set - with all POBs including Jim photo strip and inclusions (no Weverse QR code) - $35 for the whole set - if you'd like the posters, I can include that as well
• Jin Astronaut - free - just pay for shipping
• RM Indigo - includes POB - $10 (comes with Weverse version without QR code)
• Jimin Face - does not include PCs unfortunately bought at Target and someone took the PCs :( - free - just pay for shipping

Photocards (can work with you on lower price per card if you are buying multiple - just message me!)

• Dalmajung photocards - $4 per card
• Tour PCs - $4 per card
• Album PCs - $5 per card
• J-hope Speak Yourself PC - $20
• J-hope McDonalds PC - $10
• Contact lens lenticular - $10 per card
• Samsung Galaxy PC - $10 for set
• Army Bomb PC - $10 for set

Magazines/Photobook

• MOTS Photobook - including all 3 PCs, all inclusions, and POB Posters - note one of the plastic PCs that came with the set is slightly damaged (see pic) - $80
• Magazines - $10/each

Miscellaneous

• Army Membership - does not include bookmark or membership card - $25
• Be album POB notepad with postcard - $10
• MOTS Lucky Draw - all 7 members set - $45
• PTD Lucky Draw - RM - $10 for both
• PTD Lucky Draw - Jin - $10 for both
• Koya Jelly Candy Plush - $20
• RJ Jelly Candy Plush - $20
• Shooky Keyring - $5
• Jungkook Sowoozoo Keyring - $10
• 2018 BTS Exhibition Bookmark (Jin/Jhope) - $10
• 2018 BTS Exhibition Bookmark (Suga/V) - $10
• Dalmajung PC Binder - $25
• Dalmajung Photobook - $10 (it's come apart from the spine but the pictures are still bound together)

I have an interview with them next week and I noticed they never said the name of the company they're hiring for. I was reached out to by a recruiter and the had me join what I thought would be an interview, but it was more of an informational. There were like 150 people on the zoom call and mics were off. At the end, he sent us all a JotForm to send in a personalized application, and from there they were to select 40-50 of us to have a one on one interview. He said they had about 17 open positions.
The guy explained that the position is for a remote Benefits Representative and we would be meeting with clients to help them choose a benefits plan. But, they need us to obtain a license before we start.
I starting thinking about how I didn't remember ever applying to this position. Granted, I've been on a heaaavy job search the past couple of months (like 200+ apps) so of course it would make sense that I don't remember EVERY single one. But still.. I wasn't blindly applying to any and everything I saw either
Anyway, a few days later, I get a text message from the hiring managers assistant (for the actual company, not the staffing agency). She said the hiring manager wanted to interview me and also gave more information about the licensing process. She made it a point that my training with the company wont start until I get licensed
So, I'm really happy that I was among the ones to be selected for an interview. I like to thoroughly research the companies I have interviews with to avoid looking like a dingbat during the interview. But realized I still dont know the company name. And the fact that I didn't have any recollection of applying for it bothered me. So, I sifted though the hundreds of applications I did on Indeed and finally see that I did apply for the position. HOWEVER, the role is called a Member Onboarding Specialist on Indeed. The job description is the EXACT same as everything that was said in the informational, but it's a completely different title. Here's the job listing:
" We are seeking to hire Member Onboarding Specialists. This is a fully remote, work from home position which allows to you work exclusively with our clientele over Zoom. As a member onboarding specialist, your job will be to sit down with each member in an in depth meeting, helping them choose the benefits provided through their workplace that best suit their needs and the needs of their family. Top tier interpersonal skills and customer service experience are a must for this position as these involved meetings can be an hour and a half to two hours a piece with some additional follow up and advisement for a few weeks after the employee enrollment. "
Is this weird? Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I trippin? Thanks (:

I cant say it anyone closest to me so I guess I have to dump all my thoughts here. I'm truly so unhappy with my life. I'm 22, which yeah I know is young, but I'm seriously I'm so sick of living. Everydays the same, work for 3/4 of the day, go on phone for 3 hours, rinse and repeat. I go out with friends every weekend and get drunk and shit, which is fun, but redundant, and it's fucking up my health. Ya I know, "there's your problem".. that's part of it sure, but even when I workout I'm still so uninterested and unhappy. I binge eat to make myself feel better, I told my doctor about it, and she doesn't care, just pushes me to take meds for high cholestrol I can't control. I want to kms when anyone mentions school or careers to me. I'm not interested in a career, I don't have a dream job, I have a dream life, and it remains a dream, where I'm healthy, happy and have a great job where I have freedom and money and friends who like me. But I have none of that. I'm sick of struggling, physically and mentally. Once I start something I put it down because I can't be fucked with the process. I'm confused by everything, nothing makes sense, when someone tries to explain something to me, I just wonder.. who gives a fuck? Does this benefit me? I don't understand, everything is in a different language nowadays, I'm so inattentive with everything, I used to be a good listener, now I can't bear to listen to anyone or anything because it's not stimulating nor interesting. I wish I had to attention span and drive to learn but I just can't be fucked.. with having to pay for rent, a car and basic nesseties I say fuck it let's just use this money to feel good, because I just don't feel good most days anymore. I've made myself so ugly with my lifestyle, I want to be handsome, not an obese man who doesnt groom himself or where's the same dark clothes everyday. I want to stop feeling tired all the time, I want to stop worrying about everything that's happening or not happening. I envy people with simple lives. Everything sucks.

hi, I’m a writer and artist in the midwest wanting to exchange mail art with others. I’d really like an art-centered correspondence, but I also enjoy writing “normal” letters to accompany the art.
I’m not a trained artist or anything, but it’s always been a hobby of mine. plus I love writing and have always been fascinated with mail.
I learned about mail art a few years ago through a ray johnson exhibit at the art institute in chicago, and it really sparked my interest. my favorite piece was the untitled collage with rimbaud that says “taoist toast!” :)
I primarily work in collage/cut ups, but I also draw, do a bit of stamping/printing, write poetry, and use found photos. I’m also really into music and like including playlists.
I’d be happy to receive any kind of art! msg me if you’re interested!

On May 8 I attended a show in Toronto. I ordered tickets on line from ticketsonsale.com on March 24. That is a full 44 days before the concert. I received the tickets 56 minutes, Yes MINUTES, before the start of the concert. The concert venue is one hour away from where I live. The only reason I received the tickets at all, ( in my opinion) is that I had spent four hours on line with two different agents on chat and one live individual in a voice call. All three agents told me that my tickets had been delivered at various times, only the last agent actually came through.
They charged my credit card 10 minutes after completing the purchase.
I knew from the start that they were reselling tickets, they state so right up front on their webpage. I also knew that the price could possibly be more than the stated value on the tickets. What I was not prepared for was the non appearance of the tickets. I was given multiple dates for when the tickets would be received, oh and there is no refund . The whole experience was aggravating, borderline fraud, useless agents who “had their whole team looking for the tickets”, a chat service that suddenly froze and became non functioning, when I asked questions about what the procedure was for getting refund for the missing tickets.( hence three different agents to deal with over four hours.)
Be aware that they have positioned themselves as the number one item in search when you go looking for tickets. Take my advice and Do not even go to their site, I guarantee that you will not be happy with the price, you will not be happy with the timing of receipt of tickets and you will not get any satisfaction regarding refunds, rebates, The organization is operating in that gray area of ticket resale and in my opinion they are committing fraud on a regular basis

https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bykm11/anaia/
https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bxzqi4/siste
About a month ago, I posted two separate posts on this subreddit about my younger sister, Anaia, who passed away on March 17th, 2024. In one post I gave photos, and in the other I wrote about her addiction, but I don't think I've really talked about myself.
It has been nearly two months since my little sister passed away, and I wouldn't describe it as grueling or depressing, just unusual. On April 22nd, it was confirmed to my family that Anaia died as a result of fentanyl toxicity, which was the reason I always assumed but to have it confirmed was very depressing. Yesterday, I went to my grandmother's house and there were a few copies of Anaia's death certificate, in the onset interval to death section, I said minutes. When talking to my mother (me and my parents talk all the time, my dad sits in my room and plays games while we talk about Anaia or something random, and me and my mother will talk about random things as well as Anaia too.), she told me her perspective of that morning. Long story short, around 11:45AM, I woke up to my mother screaming my sister's name and she soon realized she was unresponsive, me and my father woke up soon after and I called 911, and that's the short version. I assumed my sister was in her covers sleeping and fentanyl overrid her system, but no, my mom told me that when she walked into Anaia's room, she was laid flat out on top of all of her covers, arms outstretched to the side. Learning that was a major shock to me, and I'll explain why.
Sure, Anaia's death was nearly instant. But hearing the details of what my mom said really drove him that once it happened, it didn't matter whether we went into there at the right time or later, there was likely nothing that could've been done. From my understanding, it was almost as if she was up one second and collapsed the next. There was dried vomit on clothes next to her bed, making me assume that after vomiting, she just collapsed instantly after and died. After calling 911, my mother demanded out of fear for me to help her perform CPR, and I didn't hesitate to do so. But, anyone in that situation could tell, with no details given, that there was nothing that could've been done. The typical signs of a deceased body were very present, and even I (doing the mouth resuscitation) knew that if I felt no air coming back onto me, and touching her neck didn't give a pulse, I quickly understood that this was it, like there was nothing me or my parents could've done. When the paramedics arrived at 12 exactly, it took them a minute or two for them to tell us that there was nothing to be done, and ultimately, Anaia had died long, long before we got to her. They said roughly 6-8 hours, meaning at the earliest 3am, and at the latest 5am. It's a disheartening fact for him, and even my father expressed to me too a few nights ago, but we wished that at least there was a chance for us to get to her beforehand. Maybe if he and I or my mom went into her room for no real reason in the middle of the night, we would've been able to save her. What really struck me when my dad was telling me that was him acknowledging that while he and my mom were watching TV, he couldn't bare to imagine that simultaneously Anaia was dying. I felt the same way, I was awake around 3-3:30AM, and if she died during that time, I was totally unaware scrolling through my phone.
I wish that there was something to be done. During her time alive, and when she started doing street dealt percocets, I warned her about fentanyl, and ultimately I wish she had heeded my warning and stayed off them when she did quit in December. I'm a sociable person, and I'm one of those people that have a wide different variety of groups and friends I hang out with, and I may not be in extracurricular activities but even those that are popular in my school know me. As a result of being so sociable, I know people that do drugs, and only a set few who do percocets, one of my closest friends used to be a heavy percocet user and I used to tell her as much as I did my sister to quit. My friend and my sister quit, but one returned and one didn't. One is still here, and one is not. It doesn't matter how many people I told not to do percocets, of course I would've wanted my sister to be the one to really listen to me. But ultimately, the person I wanted to save the most didn't make it. I've saved others, but with my sister, it almost made my words feel like nothing after she died. No matter however many times I told her to please find something less dangerous and more beneficial, to not risk her life, she kept using and lost her life. Said friend and two other friends of my sister (I know both of them) were also at some point active percocet users, and they told me that they felt it like it should've been them, seeing my mother made them see that that could've been their parents, their siblings, their friends and relatives, etc. I told them bluntly that it in fact could've been them in Anaia's position, I told them that just because Anaia's clock stopping running doesn't mean there's has to, they can avoid being in her position. Then it got me thinking, there's plenty of other people who overdose on purpose, who overdose 9 times, who overdose and suffer long term effects like paralyzation, but still remain. Anaia overdosed once, and that was the final time. I believe in God and Jesus but I'm not a preacher, I believe and keep it pushing but I'm not religiously based. I believe in the concept of everyone having a time and a date, but sometimes I find myself questioning that if that's the case, are we just here to live a predetermined fate that we have no control over? At the end of the day, was I meant to go through this? Thinking like that plagues my mind, but I settle for it being her time to go, as seeing other drug users made me wonder what they may be here to prove on earth that Anaia could not. I don't like questioning others' lives and why they get to live longer, that's not me, and I'm glad they've been granted more chances, it just sucks my sister wasn't granted that chance in the grand scheme of things. Predetermined or not, there was so much she could've lived for, but I believe there's a reason time can't be reversed, and there's many unexplained miracles that somehow eases me into thinking that I shouldn't throw myself into a hole of questioning why she didn't get a chance, and just accepting that her race ended earlier than mine. I believe things happen for a reason, it's an insensitive statement depending on the situation, but things happen for people to learn and grow from them, but no one really knows why. I've just had to come to the conclusion hat my sister is okay, she's safe, and I have no reason to continue to question her life and worry about her if she's not here with me anymore, you feel?
From a brother perspective, it sucks. It feels somewhat lonely, to live and breathe as an only child. I've become accustomed to being an older brother to a younger sister, but I turned 16 without her, and that's how it'll be for the rest of my life. At her visitation on March 30th, I didn't cry, but seeing her body just made me shake my head. She looked very nice, the funeral home did an amazing job, but it hit me that this was really her. There were distinct things I saw that she had in life that made me come to that conclusion that that was what was left my little sister, and at the funeral + burial the next day, watching her being lowered into the ground left my head empty. No thoughts, she watching as her casket covered in a white sheet was lowered into the ground, and that'd be it. I grew up with this person, and now I have to look down on this person and go through life without this amazing person. I never imagine something like this happening, especially not like this. I always wanted to die first because I was older, a thought I feared ever since I was a child. That didn't get to happen, and milestones man. She'll never get to graduate the year after me, never get to have that lovely relationship with that special one that she always wanted, she never got to be an aunt, a mom, nothing. One day, I hope to have children and I will tell them about Anaia, but do I wish they'd have been able to meet her if that time came. Everyday, I walk past her room, sometimes I go in there and sometimes I don't. Two weeks after her death, her mattress was taken out by me and my dad's friend, up until a few weeks ago, her room was left scattered the way it was when she died minus the mattress, and now, everything has been cleaned up. It's empty, and the emptiness is another reality check. I'll never see Anaia again, and in the potential next life I believe I will, but the fact I can't now is a hard concept to grasp. No more walking to the bus stop, no more barging into her room or vice versa, no more waiting forever for her to complete her makeup, no more random room hangouts, no more of her asking me to flash a light for her Instagram pictures for an excruciating ten minutes, none of them. Her physical presence is gone, I come home everyday and instantly the thought of her being gone hits me. Riding in the car with my parents, being at school, going out, it doesn't feel the same knowing in the back of my head she's gone, no matter how much fun I have. Regardless, I've returned to normal life, matter of fact, I started going to school every day instantly after the funeral, and during the two weeks of March 17th-March 31st, I showed up to school here and there. It didn't take a toll to do so, because I've accepted that though Anaia died, I'm still alive? I don't stop when she does, that'll have more of an effect. Life still goes on, time doesn't stop for no one no matter how much I may want it to. I honestly sit my current happiness at like a 6.5-7, higher than one may expect. I still have my parents, my friends, and all of my relatives, an important chunk is just missing but I still have my people. I only feel alone in the sibling aspect, but in reality, people make me happy everyday and still continue to. I joke how I've always joked, people have said I look much better than how I did initially, there's notable sadness on my face, but I look happier. If that's true, then I hope it stays that way. I still go out to these afterschool events, outside friend hangous, they bring joy. I just miss my sister 25/8, but I've learned to appreciate life just a little bit more now. If she's okay, I'm okay.
Lastly, I wanted to mention dreams. People say they have dreams of deceased loved ones all the time, I personally haven't yet, would like to, but until then that hasn't been the case. I'm not talking dreams with the person in them, I mean direct communication dreams. My mother has had two, my dad's friend has had one, and my close friend mentioned earlier has had one, but the one that sticks out the most is my little cousin's dream. My mom has a younger sister herself and in 2018, she had her first child, his nickname is JP. During 2021-2022, me and Anaia lived with my grandmother due to losing our apartment (our parents stayed separately at a grouphome my dad worked at, they work for my grandmother's company), and my aunt as well as JP stayed with my grandma. JP essentially became me and Anaia's little brother that we didn't have, and vice versa for him, he sees me and Anaia has his older siblings. Seeing him seem so heartbroken after Anaia died was very sad, as you can see written on this five-year-old's face that Anaia was someone who truly mattered to him and he was so sad about it. However, in his dream, Anaia came to him and told him she loved all of us, that she regretted not seeing him grow older, and that what happened to her was an accident. The part that got me was that Anaia told him that where she was was beautiful, he asked to see it, and she told him he couldn't see it yet. Kids just don't make things like that up in my opinion, and he worded it very detailed for a kindergartener, and JP is at the age where his words don't conflict with other things he's said, he's consistent with it and he tells me the same thing he told me the first time when I ask him here and then. He can see it one day, but he can't see it, not yet. What that tells me is that if life is so hard, death must be so beautiful afterwards, and that there is an afterlife. Even if I believed in a separate religion, or if my current religion isn't the truth, I will always believe in an afterlife. I refuse to believe that this world is it, and kids just don't pull stuff out their butt in a serious situation. I believe him. If that's the case, then I'll gladly wait. It doesn't matter how many people die during my lifetime, whatever remains of it, and how many new people I might meet in my life. If my hope of living to elder age and I meet someone and create a family, and even if said wife and or children die before me if that plan does happen, there's only one person I wish to greet me. I hear that people see a loved one before they die, and I hope Anaia is the one that comes to see me when it's all over. Forever, no matter who else passes before me, Anaia's will stay the worst, the most impactful, and that's a strong statement to make but I'm sure of that. I have plenty of goals I have for myself, but my end goal once the others are done is to get past 70, pass peacefully, and have my sister wait for me there. I hope that wouldn't be much to ask for.
That's it.

I tried to get the engagement ring back and I’ve been blocked everywhere….she cheated on me after a 3.5 year relationship. She didn’t show any signs of remorse and chose to end things after ’trying’ to fix things for a week back in early February. Her birthday was last week and I did my very best to not contact her and I didn’t. No gifts letters nothing.
However, I did text her mom happy Mother’s Day and she did respond. We’ve kept in touch with each other and we’ve met once to exchange things.
Last time we’ve talked I asked her for the ring and she said she couldn’t find it. I texted her maybe three weeks ago for it and didn’t respond?
Why does she not want to return the engagement ring back? It wasn’t expensive so it doesn’t have a lot of resale value…maybe 250-300 if that. I just want it for closure. And if maybe she tossed it or whatever , why won’t her mom just say that?

I went into my interview for my dream job on Friday. The owner seemed to really like me and offered to have me come in to watch a training class be conducted.
I was explained the starting pay for all candidates was $17 an hour and was part time as described. I asked lots of questions and by the end of the two hours of interacting with everyone, I got the vibe from the owner that I had made a great impression.
"What do you think? Would you like to work here? Well, we think you'd be a great team member. I'd like to set a date and time for you sit down with our scheduler."
"Oh! Thankyou very much."
I was so happy and flattered. I talked about how excited I was and how I couldn't wait to start training. I told him I loved it here. He joked how I could help another employee with the social media. I ended up buying a few products and he was even nice enough to give me an employee discount.
I called my boyfriend, my family and texted a close friend about how excited I was.
"They told me they'd love to have me on the team and that I get to sit down with the scheduler in couple days, isn't that great?! This is a dream come true!" I gushed with pride.
When I came in a couple days later as promised I greeted everyone and the scheduler and I went into a back room. She was sweet and she told me she was very excited because this was her first interview she has ever conducted. She told me she loved my resume.
I blinked, inside feeling a bit startled but began to conduct myself in a interview type fashion. I tried to come off as friendly and as courteous as I could. I was happy we had a lot in common and I appreciate that I was able to make her laugh and talk about herself. She told me she doesn't get final say but that she sincerely hopes I get the job.
I waved my goodbyes and seemed cheerful and hopeful but left out the door with a soured face.
The owner immediately called me and in a jumble of words explained that the scheduler is also training to be a future manager. He hurridy told me hed like to have me come in for my final interview Wednesday, where he would ask me some situational questions.
He then went on to say that he was leaving the country for vacation for 3 weeks and that hopefully there would be an offer made by June.
I told him a bunch of affirmatives because I am a terrible people pleaser. At this point I was nervous and unsure of myself and I didn't want to come off as rude or ungrateful. I just asked a bit awkwardly, if he doesn't feel I'm a good fit or if they find someone else then I'd love a phone call. "Oh as a courtesy you mean? Yes of course, sure."
I got off the phone feeling confused. I had stupidly told everyone I already got the job. I berated myself for being so neieve and inspected my memories obsessively for anywhere I truly misunderstood. I concluded that I was sure he was being direct with me but must have changed his mind.
The thing is, I don't know I can't wait 3 weeks to see if they will extend me an offer. I needed that job and had thought I was coming in to sign paperwork and figure out my new work schedule.
Ever since my boyfriend got hurt at work I really needed this for us financially and I really just needed a win after so many weeks of sorrow and worry.
Maybe I'll get my dream job but my soul is telling me that it's best not get my hopes up at all. Right now, I am just trying to comfort myself. I'm nieve and maybe I should have known better. It's another important life lesson on only listening to what people do and to not pay attention to what they say. I should also know not to celebrate until I get things in writing.
It takes a mature person to really get that through their head. I'm working on it.
Despite this Wisdom, I'm sulking like a child.
-Thanks for listening. Let me know if something like this has ever happened to you before. I feel pretty dumb right now for sure... If you have any thoughts or encouragement that would be very kind of you.

I got a little bit of sleep after depriving myself of it for many hours last night and this morning.
I was in a white victorian room, my attention on the door. I wanted to take pictures of it. I was being harassed by a disturbing man or two, picking a cream cheese danish and stale cream puffs off the floor. There was something blue on the floor, along with another thing, which I forgot. I fell back asleep right after memorizing it, earlier. It had something to do with Layne Staley.
I found a pack of ocean spray yogurt raisins, liking the faded packaging too. I went to the library not long after this, preoccupied with a stack of books there. Just like heaven, was the one I was able to remember.
Outside my house, the manhole cover was removed. Down inside of it was full of several ones, on the ground and piled around. Victorian font on the front.
I had a nightmare, as the zombie apocalypse was happening. I was sitting in a victorian-esque house, next to the main floor. It had a gothic stairway in the center of the floor, flat stairs. It would've been a mansion, then. I was sitting in a gaming chair a foot away, seeing the zombies come inside and attack the people I was with. A woman was wearing vintage lingerie, 80s. Teddy bodysuit. I heard a voice talk over the scene, saying the lingerie was from '78-79-80-81.' I feel like he went from '82 to '84, but he stopped slowly at '81. In my house, a industrial gothic video game was on. I watched my little brother play it, thinking about the soundtrack. Seemed like 16volt would be on it. There was a remote control attached to my gaming chair, I instantly noticed. The dream turned towards my abusive family members on my dad's side, for yet another time. I was now in a room with my mom, looking into a fridge. I saw syrup inside it. A few pink lemonade syrup cans. There was probably a white-regular lemonade as well. I took a pink one, wanting a drink. My aunt who doesn't like me; my dad's sister, who hates us all, came into the room. I would think they would be fake to us if he was still alive. That'd be the more likely scenario where they'd pour us a drink; do something courteous for us. Insecurely, unwelcome my mom felt. As always, around them. My mom, the leo. Passive and left out when near that family. My cousins were nearby, which I could feel the energy of one of them.
I lastly, found myself laying on my mom's bed with my partner. Fruit salad by the wiggles was playing or talked about, for some reason. We were laughing, drawing letters onto a paper notebook. The shapes looked erotic/suggestive, and that somehow was arousing. I drew a 'M'
I had drew the left start of the m square, instead of victorian and delicate. I said, 'Touch my boobies while I do it..' Waking right up after.

I have an interview with them next week and I noticed they never said the name of the company they're hiring for. I was reached out to by a recruiter and the had me join what I thought would be an interview, but it was more of an informational. There were like 150 people on the zoom call and mics were off. At the end, he sent us all a JotForm to send in a personalized application, and from there they were to select 40-50 of us to have a one on one interview. He said they had about 17 open positions.
The guy explained that the position is for a remote Benefits Representative and we would be meeting with clients to help them choose a benefits plan. But, they need us to obtain a license before we start.
I starting thinking about how I didn't remember ever applying to this position. Granted, I've been on a heaaavy job search the past couple of months (like 200+ apps) so of course it would make sense that I don't remember EVERY single one. But still.. I wasn't blindly applying to any and everything I saw either
Anyway, a few days later, I get a text message from the hiring managers assistant (for the actual company, not the staffing agency). She said the hiring manager wanted to interview me and also gave more information about the licensing process. She made it a point that my training with the company wont start until I get licensed
So, I'm really happy that I was among the ones to be selected for an interview. I like to thoroughly research the companies I have interviews with to avoid looking like a dingbat during the interview. But realized I still dont know the company name. And the fact that I didn't have any recollection of applying for it bothered me. So, I sifted though the hundreds of applications I did on Indeed and finally see that I did apply for the position. HOWEVER, the role is called a Member Onboarding Specialist on Indeed. The job description is the EXACT same as everything that was said in the informational, but it's a completely different title. Here's the job listing:
" We are seeking to hire Member Onboarding Specialists. This is a fully remote, work from home position which allows to you work exclusively with our clientele over Zoom. As a member onboarding specialist, your job will be to sit down with each member in an in depth meeting, helping them choose the benefits provided through their workplace that best suit their needs and the needs of their family. Top tier interpersonal skills and customer service experience are a must for this position as these involved meetings can be an hour and a half to two hours a piece with some additional follow up and advisement for a few weeks after the employee enrollment. "
Is this weird? Has anyone had a similar experience? Am I trippin? Thanks (:

I currently have PRN positions at 2x inpatient rehab facilities. I enjoy the flexibility of PRN work and have no intention to ever work full time. I need to resign from one (been there since February)…it’s about an hour from my house and productivity is higher than I’m comfortable with (90%). I’m only obligated to work there 2 weekend shifts per month, but I just don’t wanna work here anymore.
Here’s my question: I’ve already “signed up” for my two shifts in June and July…my next scheduled shift is over 30 days from now. If I submit a resignation letter now, is there any expectation for me to fulfill the dates I’ve “committed” to? Or am I far enough out that I can say I’ve worked my last shift there?
Thanks for any advice! This is my first time resigning from a PRN position, so not sure how to handle this.

Was a little blindsided by a layoff today. Though I shouldn’t be surprised since I missed an entire week last week with covid. I was their casework guy and just finished some tops that the pm wasn’t happy could’ve been done faster with a lower tolerance for how they looked. I do my job to the best of my ability. And my super was happy with me. There’s lots of casework to go in and our halls bone dry on finish guys so I wouldn’t be surprised if they call me back in two weeks… Business is booming and at this point would you take a week or two off? I despise being laid off on a Monday or Tuesday, honestly just call me Sunday night and tell me to come get my shit. I have had a really rough winter with migraines that have made my attendance probably not too much more than 50/50 and had covid bad at Christmas missed two weeks, and have gotten every single bug the guys bring to work. I can afford a few weeks off but I feel like that’s also leaving money on the table. On the other hand I’m exhausted from pushing through the “tolerable”migraines, and pushing to get as many hours as possible when I feel good or ok. Just looking for some brotherly/sisterly advice