Hi, there!
My name is Shay, and I’m going to be honest: I’ve been a freelance writer for the past 7 years trying to fund my dreams of a music career. I’m finally touring across the continent, but my main writing client of 5 years just decided they were retiring.
I’m now unexpectedly struggling, just when I could taste my musical success. I’m determined to not let this be the reason I give up.
I’m looking for a new client (either long-term or short-term) looking for an experienced writer who really cares about their goals.
A bit about me:

• I’m a native English speaker
  
• Experienced in SEO/Surfer, WordPress, and more
  
• I pride myself in my attention to detail AND quick turnaround time
  
• My clients have all been with me for at least 3 years. I have a 100% success rate on a certain freelance platform as well, if you’d like clear references
  
• I’m available at any time for revisions
  

Here are a few of my articles:
1. Best Beach Wheelchairs
2. 18 Best Dutch Bros Drinks
3. Best Mario Kart Tours in Tokyo
Please feel free to DM me with any questions you may have!
Thank you so much for your time, and I hope to chat with you soon! Shay

As I've done for the last few years, I maintain an unofficial version of the route maps on Komoot for anyone who is interested. I've added the main route maps as they are currently published, and will update them at least once, usually twice more before the ride to catch in-town details and route tweaks. I also use the maps to find basemap errors and fix them prior to the ride.
Feel free to follow along here: https://www.komoot.com/collection/2753195/-ragbrai-2024-li-glenwood-to-burlington
Next steps:

1. Update when GPX routes and campground locations are announced.
2. Add gravel options when they are announced.
3. Update right before the event if there are any last-minute changes published by RAGBRAI.
4. RIDE!

I'm in dire need of some advice, or comment if you have had similar experiences. I find myself overwhelmed and confused. This will be long, but please bear with me.
I hit perimenopause a year and a half ago. It was bad: hot flashes, UTIs, osteoporosis, atrophy, depression, insomnia.. After taking the estrogen patch, progesterone and DHEA, most health concerns are under control. My husband was pretty supportive throughout. We have been together since 19 years ago, when we met in the UK doing our PhDs. We now live in another country and almost 50 years old. He is from Eastern Europe. No children by choice. I have a mobility impairment since my early twenties due to a very traumatic car accident.
In the last two years I have started training as a Mindfulness practitioner, and my whole outlook on life has changed. My academic career is really not so important anymore. I spend most of my free time training. I have found a lot of peace and happiness in helping people.
After the pandemic, the situation in the country where we live has deteriorated greatly in terms of security, and the University where we work is in crisis. My husband has been getting more and more needy and angry during the last three years. He always relied on me for emotional support, and for regulating his moods. In turn, I relied on him for physical help with things I could not do, and for travelling, etc. It was a happy union before things changed. Now, he gets extremely angry, even aggressive if I dont validate his opinions, or if my arguments or viewpoint is somehow better articulated than his. He has been raising his voice and sulking, even in front of other people when this happens. He has no friends (except mine) or any independent hobby. Politics seem to be his only interest, and he now consumes a lot of Twitter and other forums. He gets worked up there, and takes all his frustration on me. I have suggested he joins some activist group, or a political party to channel his frustration, he refuses. I have also voiced the need for greater tolerance overall, and with my views in particular, to no avail.
His father died in January, and left him a house in his home country. The paperwork on the house is not done, it belongs to both him and his brother, but it is not clear which part of the house belongs to whom. I have asked him to sell it or rent it, since I dont want to keep working until my 70s, I probably physically cant. Ideally, I would like to retire at 60, and in any case think the house should be our egg nest. He has avoided the conversation, or plainly refused. The house we live in is mine, he refused to sign the mortgage. He pays me rent ( a very high one). We have a legal partnership, and our financial assets are not joint.
I dont know if it is the lack of estrogen, but I dont give a fuck anymore. I am tired of taking care of his emotions, and providing social opportunities for his entertainment, plus all the mental load of planning our lives and strategizing. He does most of the housework, but I cook. Now, I have to censor what I say when we talk.. God forbid I have a better idea than him.. or disagree. Yesterday, I told him I want some space and we should have a trial separation, followed by marital counseling. He was shocked, but mainly angry. He said he agreed with the counselling, but he was almost 50, and he was not going to change. I have to say that shocked me, I thought he would be scared of losing our relationship. He also said he is "risk averse" and he was not going to sell his house or find hobbies or friends.
I thought I would grow old with this man. The chances of finding a new partner in the society I live in are zero (I have divorced friends and family members my age). If I am to be divorced, I would need to find some way of making sure I dont become a victim of the security situation, and help with the physical side of life. On the other hand, I can not see how to go on with him.
As usual, I am the one who is going to find the counsellor, make the appointment, etc. Would it be worth it going into it with the intention of making an effort to save the relationship? Should I just give up?
Any advice would be welcome.

So right now I'm writing an arena allocator in C and I figured out how to silently initialize and free everything without the user having to do a single thing:

 #include "arena.h" int main() { void* p; for(int i = 0; i < 500; i++) { p = arena_alloc(100); // similar to malloc } for(int i = 0; i < 50; i++) { p = block_alloc(100, sizeof(int)); // similar to calloc } return 0; } 

The arena which owns all the memory is getting initialized and freed automatically with no memory leaks (in fact it's completely hidden from the user). So how is that possible?
You can do this for almost any type of program but I'll use my arena allocator as an example.

Global instance

Anytime I'm writing a standalone C program, I always do something like this in the header - put all of the global variables into a single one for easy access:

 typedef struct { ... } GlobalContext; extern GlobalContext ctx; 

and then GlobalContext ctx; somewhere in the .c file, maybe initialized to some default values. For this I just did Arena ARENA = {0};

atexit()

If you don't know about this, any void function can be passed to this to be called whenever the program exits. These exit handler functions are called in reverse from the order they were passed to atexit(), and I heard somewhere that some platforms only support like 32 exit handlers so I'd recommend just putting all of your cleanup functions into 1 exit handler. Which is what I did for arena - arena_init() calls atexit(arena_cleanup);.

Ok but the user still has to call init right?

Nope.
My library has three core functions: ARENA_MALLOC, ARENA_REALLOC, ARENA_FREE. They default to the normal stdlib functions but the user can #define these to be something different.
I then wrapped these in error-checking variants that do some user-specified behavior (exit, print error, or both) when malloc/realloc returns NULL.

 void* arena_malloc_wrapper(size_t nbytes) { void* ptr = ARENA_MALLOC(nbytes); if (!ptr) arena_error("malloc: returned null"); return ptr; } void* arena_realloc_wrapper(void* ptr, size_t newsize) { void* new_ptr = ARENA_REALLOC(ptr, newsize); if (!new_ptr) arena_error("realloc: returned null"); return new_ptr; } void arena_free_wrapper(void* ptr) { ARENA_FREE(ptr); } 

At this point, in each of these functions I had something like

 void* arena_malloc_wrapper(size_t nbytes) { if (!ARENA.ready) { arena_init(); ARENA.ready = true; } ... } 

That's obviously a waste, since ARENA will only be initialized one time. No need to constantly check if it's ready. So instead of pointless if statements in the core library functions, I made separate versions of these functions that call arena_init().
The idea is, the first time the user calls any library function, the arena will initialize itself.

 void* arena_malloc_wrapper_init(size_t nbytes) { arena_init(); return arena_malloc_wrapper(nbytes); } void* arena_realloc_wrapper_init(void* ptr, size_t newsize) { arena_init(); return arena_realloc_wrapper(ptr, newsize); } void arena_free_wrapper_init(void* ptr) { arena_init(); return arena_free_wrapper(ptr); } 

But then the arena was re-initializing itself everytime it allocated memory, so I had to find a way to call the _init variant in place of the first library function call, and then call the normal version every time after that.
So I added a vtable to the Arena class:

 typedef struct { ... void* (*malloc_like)(size_t); void* (*realloc_like)(void*,size_t); void (*free_like)(void*); } Arena; 

Initialized it to the _init variants in arena.c:

 // init global instance Arena ARENA = { .malloc_like = arena_malloc_wrapper_init, .realloc_like = arena_realloc_wrapper_init, .free_like = arena_free_wrapper_init }; 

All that's left is for arena_init to update the vtable to the proper library functions, preventing arena_init from being called again in this program.

 void arena_init() { atexit(arena_cleanup); ARENA.malloc_like = arena_malloc_wrapper; ARENA.realloc_like = arena_realloc_wrapper; ARENA.free_like = arena_free_wrapper; } 

And anytime the arena needs to allocate memory it can use ARENA.malloc_like and the rest. The first time the user calls or triggers any of these functions, the arena will initialize itself and set up an exit handler to clean itself up at the end.
Idk if this is all that useful but it might be nice for games or something that is constantly allocating and freeing memory. Lemme know your thoughts.

Hi all. I would like some advice regarding the most optimal (both in terms of performance and maintainability) archictecture to handle multiple concurrent network connections all interacting with a single UI. The two basic ideas I had were:
Using channels: One MPSC channel is created, main thread keeps a list of connections. Each connection keeps its own tx, and blocks on waiting for a network packet, then sends the contents of that packet through its tx. Only one rx (of course) on the main thread receives all network packets, then calls the appropriate handle_packet function of the connection to which the packet came. This leaves the connection struct free to be interacted with (read/written state) by either other network packets arriving or user input.
Using mutexes: Each connection lives inside an Arc> which allows the main thread to lock the mutex and interact with it (read its state or send user input). Each connection also has its own thread which blocks on network packets, and once recv'd, locks the mutex and directly calls its own handle_packet function without having to go through the main thread as a mediator.
Are there any other (better?) methods that I haven't thought of? And does async help here? I am using tokio, but the dark magic of async is just beyond my mental grasp so idk how to properly take advantage of it.

January 29, 2384 - the day of the last total eclipse is when the raid began. “The day of the sun's false shadow” as people call it now. We, humans, were an unsuspecting victims in a universe habited by multiple vastly stronger existences. When it happened the world had been thrown into utter chaos and shock. The sun had been completely covered by the moon and this event was supposed to last only a short while however after two hours sunlight had still not shown its face upon the earth's surface. This was the beginning of humanity's greatest tribulation. After days of the sun's light not being shown the planet's temperature began to drop and to compensate for this people began to create massive fires but this did not stop the problem. Photosynthesis in plants began to stop, making it harder for humans to breathe. This made humans build labs and create artificial oxygen, which took care of that problem but humans still began to die from hypothermia, frozen oceans, and forced stoppage of blood flow. After two weeks, the sun finally revealed itself and all hope had been restored in humanity collectively only for half the population to be massacred in an instant. “The watchers” had been slowly waiting with armies to colonize our planet and technology beyond our wild comprehension. Technology we can only dream of had been shown and used right before our very eyes and for the first time in all of human history, we had been united as one in our mutual fear and horror. 2 months later, 90% of humanity has been wiped out and the few who remained were used as slaves to cultivate energy. With the use of a Dyson shell, nearly 80% of the sun's energy and heat had been directed into maintaining their energy. Amongst all this time, humanity had collectively agreed to fight back. This began the creation of the liberation group, “the Plague”. These groups of people were the last hope of humanity and carried an extremely large ambition and dream on their shoulders. While “the watchers” were extremely advanced this doesn't change the fact that they were fallible and this group of people were their scourge. They didn't have the military might nor the advanced brain to even keep up against “the watchers” but through slavery and forced labor, the human body began to develop into something stronger. They began to surpass their limits and break the barriers that the human mind had once placed on themselves. Through the selective farming of “the watchers” a new plant had developed that was essentially a stimulant to the human body and a limit breaker for their physical capabilities. At first, they began by using strong levels of acid to corrode the buildings and structures and then stopping their heartbeat to give the impression of suicide so they could not be caught, however, they did not die due to a new system developed from the human's newfound evolution. Due to the strict regimen that we had to follow, we knew all of the places where they would and wouldn't be, all the blind spots of the planet, all the places where they were in close proximity to a chasm, and all the places where we were at a disadvantage. We used the blindspots as bases and hideouts where we could plan our vengeance. After a year of just observing their behavior, habits, bodily functions, and even their schedules we developed a hypothesis that 24 seconds after 7:39 PM we have approximately 19 minutes and 53 seconds in Greenland where we are not being watched nor located. We used this small window of time to gather the fundamental items we needed to fight back and build the foundation for our organization. We gathered food, plants, water, armor, and weapons. We realized that they were immune to cutting/slicing damage and could only be hurt through blunt attacks. With this knowledge, we developed a specific fighting style and used that small time frame to train others in it. We adapted to the harsh conditions and created clothes using spare pieces from “the watchers” specially made for insulating heat, weighing less, and being less penetrable by outside attacks. After a year every person on the planet was a master at this martial arts and had fully developed a counter to all technology that “the watchers” had. However, we could not initiate immediate war on them so we needed a plan. We came up with the idea to have one of our strongest members report to the watchers about our activity and give away one of our bases. This created the false notion that not only did they have someone working as a double agent on their side but also they knew where we would be so they could catch us off guard. We were all there like they expected and they attacked like planned. We had all moved our weapons, armor, and vital items into a different base but kept some things where they attacked to make them think we had not gotten far but this was a dud. Eventually, we had all “died” and had our bodies left at that place as a sign of victory on their side. However, because of this, their ego had grown and they began to underestimate us. The surveillance had gotten weaker as they assumed their “double agent” would tell them everything as a trade for luxury living. We knew that physical power would not be enough so our smartest man collaborated to develop a virus specifically made for their genetic makeup which took about 5 years to extract small strands of DNA without them realizing. Once the virus had been created the incidence began and eliminated more than 60 percent of “the watchers” because of how they were too distracted trying to develop a cure and the vast amount of them dying, we had gained more time to develop our forces and we began to ingest various harmful substances but in small doses in order to gain resistance to any harmful poisons and acids. After new children start to be born this began the origin of a new human species. One massively stronger, smarter, more durable, and with all the immunities and benefits without the downsides. With the birth of this new generation, all of the human race had experienced a collective euphoria. We had begun to secretly train these kids for years and strengthen them in a way the human race had never been before. Due to the circumstances of their birth, they had also developed a strong ability for adaptation and healing factor which ultimately led to humans finally being able to physically compete with “the watchers”. However, we were still lacking in numbers despite the virus taking a vast majority of “the watchers” away. Some of us grew confident and because we were now physically capable some believed we could win the war while others believed we couldn’t yet. This created division within our ranks but did not necessarily break our ranks but that was all depending on your interpretation. We gathered our smartest men and women to make a plan to initiate war, and for 14 days they were stuck in ruminative thought. 2 years passed and we had finally built up the numbers, technology, and physical capabilities to contend with the watchers. Now on the day of the war, all of our strongest soldiers imitated the attack. But this time they were an unsuspecting victim on a planet habited by a stronger species. During the war we had counters for nearly everything the watchers could dish out but one thing we were not aware of was the fact that the watchers could transform into a smaller but faster, stronger, and more durable form. This form took the shape of humankind. So closely related that it struck fear into the hearts of many. Not only was this extremely off-putting but the revelation that came along with it had altered the perception of humanity as we know it. The war had been put to a halt, and all forced fighting in the war had directed their attention to one watcher and one watcher alone. All forces had been completely immobilized and fighting back was no longer capable. With this, the words that had been spoken out of the watcher were a revelation that humanity had not even considered possible. “We are not your enemies. We are you but from the future. In our original timeline, we have been attacked by a species even higher than us. We had been pushed to the brink of extinction and our last hope was only to go back in time in hopes that if we returned to our past selves we could help evolve even more to contend with the world-ending threats from the future. This siege we had laid on this planet and the forced evolution, progression, and tragedy among humankind also brought extreme progression in human capabilities. All of you are vastly superior to your previous forms because of our arrival. While we acknowledge our methods were not the ideal we had no other option. This was the fastest and most effective method to progress the human species although we could not allow the human race to have this win. It would boost the ego of your race and our all of you in a state of comfort and stagnation. With this being said we resign from our participation in this war and would greatly appreciate it if you allowed us to help humanity rebuild and donate technology.” Speechless as to what humanity has just heard we just stood there in utter shock and disbelief. Not a single soul knew what to say and all of humanity had stood in confusion. One man spoke “how do we know this is true” the watcher proceeded to show pictures and videos of them being massacred while some stood in human form and others did not. They showed is this along with the words, “we initiated this war as a way to put the human race through natural selection and eliminate all the weak human being who would not be able to contribute to our growth and success in any upcoming battle. So with that being said what is your decision?” Our leader, and the smartest woman among us had stated, “We humbly decline this offer as we would prefer to evolve by our capabilities and we have already surpassed you so what can you possibly teach us.” After this being stated the war had been started again and the watchers had been for the first time since the “great cleansing” began utterly defeated and annihilated. With the war being won, humanity being victorious, and newfound abilities being discovered humanity had been thrown into an era of peace and prosperity. All tragedies had been blamed on the watchers and for the first time humanity had an ever lasting peace and a perfect utopia where everyone agreed and benefited from each other. With this, we have been vastly improving and slowly but steadily rebuilding our planet and all of humankind. Our members started family’s and genuinely enjoyed the life they were living once again. Everyone acting coyly and with one another was a beautiful side to behold. Everything was perfect until the same monsters who killed the watchers, showed up to eliminate us due to fear of what we could evolve into this time we had no way to fight back and our ranks were already diminished or severely weakened. How would humanity be able to survive this time???Most people had been massacre and captures to be experimented on. Very few of us had actually managed to get away from them and we had only been able to do this through shadow banishment. It was a skill that we had acquired through the technology of the watchers. Living in the void was not the ideal lifestyle as it was ruthless, dirty, and unsafe but the chances of surviving here were massively higher than surviving on earth. Only a hundred of us remained and the human species were basically extinct. With this small group left we had resorted to instead of trying to repopulate and exact revenge immediately we would take the short route. In the void monsters had no sort of civilization and the only rule amongst these creatures were the strongest prevail. There was no sort of rule, order, or even a sense of respect between these monsters. The weak were prey for the strongest, and the strong were killed by the stronger. We took this as an opportunity to not only increase our strength by training and battling but also amassing an empire. The remind of humanity collectively agree that we would bring order and peace to the void. The best way to go through this was by entering the tournament. The monsters held tournaments to watch the strongest fight and kill each other for pure fun. We joined this colosseum and while at first we easily overwhelmed our opponents we had slowly been facing harder and harder opponents as we rose through the ranks. By the time even a single one of us was defeated we had made a name and gained the attention of multiple monsters within the void. We were not necessarily respected or followed but we were feared and simultaneously an opponent that monsters wished to fight. After this we had developed our own fighting ring in which monster could fight and battle against us and only us. We implied a set of rules in this ring. Rule 1; no killing Rule 2; reservations must be made to fight Rule 3; both parties must consent Rule 4; do not make the fight personal Rule 5; it must be between a human and monster. These rules created a sense of security amongst the monsters and while driven by their desire of battle they also abided by the rules. Eventually after fighting throughout the tournament and gaining more traction with the monsters in it. Eventually even the most high ranked demons had begun to make reservations in for our fights. Our strongest soldiers had been the ones to fight them as nobody else can really compete. The first fight had been with a demon who had the ability of immunity. This ability did not only revolve around internal status effects but also could be applied to his physical body. The fight had been the biggest one the ring had ever experienced and it did not disappoint. Eventually we had won and this through the whole entire void and everyone in it into an uproar. Monsters who never even bothered to fight had shown up to battle. The strongest monster in the void and the only monster with a sense of order, self, and purpose had shown up to fight all humans by himself. He agreed that if we win he would pledge allegiance to us all and work under our rule however if we lose we will be killed. This monster bore an extreme resemblance humans. The structure of his body and the contents of it were all human like however he claimed not to be. This monsters name was angel and he possessed the ability to manipulate and control all matter with the sole exception of any other organic material that resided outside of his own body. Our commander and strongest member amongst us was the person to fight him. His name was Alexander and despite the fact that we didn't have any singular special powers like him however our physical bodies were honed greater than any other species in existence. They were evenly matched in speed and strength and even in our capabilities to rapidly heal from damage. They had been evenly matched in all physical ability and the fight had ultimately come to hand to hand combat and who could last longer. Angel was unmatched in combat and had barely even been hit due to how experienced in martial arts he had been; however throughout the fight Alexander had been naturally adapting to his fighting style and developing counters to everything. Our natural ability to adapt to all attacks and effects placed upon us had given a clear win condition; however time was needed to actually see and fully understand how to possibly adapt to everything. The longer the fight took the higher the chance of Angel losing. Alexander had slowly but steadily been adapting and developing new combat styles to counter everything angle could do and even had grown to use his own severed limbs as projectiles and use his blood as a coat over all other objects to cancel his ability to use his field. Angel's main ability had been to control the air around him to increase speed, power, and even get a sense of what his opponent would be doing before it happened. After finally adapting to this his body had begun to heat itself in an attempt to turn it into vapor and due to blood being organic matter of another life form he would no longer have control of the air and the surrounding area. After this the fight had come down to solely base physical capabilities and for 10 minutes they had been mindlessly brawling and instantaneously healing through the damage taken. After a long period of time their healing began to slow down due to bodily fatigue. Biting, punching, scratching, kicking, anything you can think of, they did it. That fight was a bloodbath unlike anything else and in the end they both passed out on the floor with nothing left besides their bodies soaked and bathed in each other's blood. After they had both been knocked unconscious their bodies had been left there in anticipation for them to awaken. The ring filled beyond capacity as people argued and fought about who would awaken first. In anticipation for this once in a lifetime event the whole void had stopped with all its attention. Angel was the first to awaken and he had been exhausted and utterly stunned as to how he actually had gotten knocked out. He had the opportunity to kill his opponent as he had technically won the battle but out of respect for his opponents strength and capabilities he possessed. After the fight had finished Angel had left and was never to be seen again. After 2 weeks Alexander had awoken in a small shack being guarded by one other human and confused after everything had been explained to him he had went around looking for angel but he was not to be found. After awakening Alexander had been massively stronger than before. Due to the physical state his body was put in and all the damage that he had taken from Angel his body had adapted and become more dense in order to take all the attacks while sustaining the least amount of damage possible. After his awakening this began our political revolution. We had now implemented the ring with rules and gotten multiple monsters to follow by these rules and with them being accurate to filling orders more now we had decided to initiate a leadedictator in a sense. The top 5 strongest creatures in the void had been the leaders and this had consisted of Alexander at 1, 2 other demons at 2 and 3, and humans to fill the final spots. We began to implement laws and rules in order to stop the mass murder and destruction happening and within a small time frame we had created structures similar to the ones of the earth. Houses and gyms in order to train in hopes of becoming stronger and even professional combat sports. After 2 months time had passed we had developed a military with our best members in it and humbly had began to repopulate. All this had been done in hopes of regaining the earth and defeated our oppressors. Fast forward 1 months the and the siege of the home planet had begun. They had not been suspecting us however took the preparations in case we had come. Based and soldiers set up in every corner of the world to fight back when the time came we did come back. With this an all out war for the fate of humanity had began and the extinction of either race lay in the balance between life and death.
After the war had began all forces had been deployed to different areas of the planet. Groups that had worked together best being deployed to one part while our strongest being deployed to another. At first we had been nearly even in everything besides technology. They had everything that we lacked and this gave them the combative edge. However despite lacking in technology we made up for it in numbers. Most fights had consisted of large groups of monsters fighting against one or two of our enemy and this has convoluted till their forces had been somewhat deployed. The one on one fights had been more dragged out and heavily impacted the war. Our strongest soldiers fighting against their strongest soldiers in a one on one fight. Everyone has put their all into this battle and left nothing to spare. Our second and third strongest soldiers had the most impact in this war not because of who they fought but because of what they could do. They didn’t actually have abilities specific to them but instead they were born with a type of energy within their bodies in which they called “synergy”. This synergy could be used to amp all their physical abilities but also be used to crate and use techniques or even use techniques that are specific to the traits of the individuals soul. The strength and physical stats of the individual depended on how much synergy they had at their disposal and while some of them were able to gather strength from other life forms it was not a very common occurrence. Alexander fought someone with the ability to control and manipulate momentum. They used synergy and funneled it through all objects of their choice to increase or decrease of momentum of that. This didn’t do much on a wide scale and was a very basic ability but in a solo battle this made it extremely hard to land attacks and even when they were landed they did little to no damage. The most important one to kill had the ability to manipulate all probability. Meaning the likelihood of us even winning this war was less then .0001 percent with them being alive. Whether it was because of a collection of small losses or one major loss did not make a difference. All odds were stacked against us as long as this person remained on the battlefield. In simple terms the whole war relied on the defeat of that person. Our second in command and smartest soldier, “Cassandra” decided to take this upon herself. She was the only one among us who possessed an innate ability and was viewed as the most special soldier but this came at a cost. She gained a talent no other human possessed but in return she no longer had the natural ability to adapt to all circumstances. Her ability was to take the form and attributes of any and all creature she knew to exist. Mythical or not she could take the shape and ability of these creatures and use it as long as she desired. However she could only use one at a time and had to wait 30 seconds in between shifting. Our third in command, “Vladimir” had took the roll of fighting their head technologist. While his opponent had not specialized in battle he still was one of the most dangerous and this was because of his ability to create machines as small as molecular level that shared his thoughts and emotions. These machines were used to repair his body in case on injury, transport information, invade any opponents body and restrict movement, anything that he deemed possible could be done with the use of those machines. But he chose to mainly use them as sort of technological tools to help him further advance his society. The rest of our battles were not nearly as important and were mostly group battles. Afro the beginning portion of Alexander’s fight he had been losing severely and could barely land any attacks at all. After a few minutes of getting beat down and not being able to fight back the adaptation process began. The first adaptation was only a temporary solution to the problem but his body had been explosively shooting out sharpened pieces of his bones and even using tiny droplets of blood as weapons. However this was only a temporary solution because eventually those bones and blood just started being slowed also. The final adaptation and most effective one happened when his body created a function in which he can store kinetic energy and then release it at any given time. This allowed him to rapidly boost his speed whenever his momentum had been slowed and basically cancel out his opponent power. However this still did not stop how his opponent made himself significantly faster. After this the fight had been more tipped into Alexander’s favor but still not enough to actually win. Throughout the progression of the fight Alexander had been gathering more and make friction between the clothes he had and his feet running against the floor. After gathering as much friction and kinetic energy as possible he let it all explode and release all over his body. This altered the form of his body. His body and skin began to form cracks and let off steam. He began to turn dark red and his eyes became shot with blood. His body was slowly crumbling and deteriorating. He had 5 minutes left to defeat his opponent and if he did not then his body would crumble and he would die. Due to his rapid healing factor he had a chance of living if he was able to end the fight within 5 minutes and give himself some time to rest but this all depended on how much he could get done. The battle had been tilted all the way in Alexander’s favor and had no longer been a battle. It had turned into if his opponent could outlast him in those 5 minutes. Brutally beating his opponent and taking full advantage of the situation Alexander did not relent on his rampage. Stopping his momentum no longer mattered and it seemed like the more he tried the faster Alexander got. Steam had been blowing off him. In the end he had managed to kill his opponent within those 5 minutes and had been at deaths door. Cassandra had began her battle and had been absolutely obliterating her opponent. The ability to shape shift from dragons, unicorns, hydras, centaurs, and any mythical creature you can think of. At first she had taken the abilities of a dragon but throughout the fight she had been developing into stronger and more complex creatures. After a while her opponent had been decreasing the probability of her even landing attacks. This made it extremely hard for her to fight and maintain the advantage. She took the appearance and abilities of the mythical deity sun wukong. Due to sun wukong being a monkey that ascended into a higher power he is one of the only gods that she can transform into. After this she gained the ability to not only make clones out of every hair on her body but also multiply the power of each clone. While she does not possess every power sun wukong has she possesses some of them and the most prominent ones. This fight had been a one sided beatdown and only lasted longer than 2 minutes because the probability of each clone attacking each other had been raised to its maximum percentage. Despite this every 1000 punches that had been thrown at least 1 hit her opponent and this was more than he could handle from millions of clones. Vladimir had no special capabilities; he only possessed an extremely honed body and battle experience. At first they had been near equal but the battle began to take a turn when the tiny bugs began to infest his body and eat him from the inside. Due to his advanced healing factor he had been able to stop any significant damage and fight with mild discomfort but this did not change that if he continued in for a longer period of time then he would inevitably be defeated by these bugs and killed. This made the battle a race against time. Expending everything his body had to offer and leaving not a single drop of energy left. Pushing his body to the absolute peak and physical limit. Even going beyond the known capabilities of his body he began to evolve into a higher form. He did not develop any new type of power or gain a newfound power but he did increase and rapidly evolve his physical capabilities. He began to punch with such speed and strength that he created shockwaves from breaking the sound barrier. With this his punches became far more explosive and with every punch thrown he was exploding giant parts of his opponents body and everything within the perimeter. With no regard to his surroundings the battle had destroyed everything in sight and left them fighting in a bare wasteland. Basically erasing everything within line of his punches he began to annihilate his opponent with speed and strength unmatched. Due to all the tiny machines within his body he regrow limbs and was able to counter attack with near no fatigue or even lag in his action. While pushing his body to its absolute limit his body had given up on him. Rapidly healing from constant damage, pushing muscles to their utmost limit, moving, attacking at his highest speed, and even understanding/ perception of all attacks massively faster then he could ever before. Due to all this his body began to give out and in the midst of battle he fell and was unable to recover. No longer able to fight back and maintain the performance he had, he was defeated. Being eaten from the inside, limbs being torn from his body, and being damaged so much that not even his regeneration could keep up. His head had been ripped off his body and with this humanity had suffered its first major loss. After this all other forces began to gain support from all his other bugs and humanities forces had been rapidly depleting. With loss in sight humanity had lost hope and accepted defeat. Right when humanity had accepted defeat and all hope had been lost the king had shown himself once again. Like an Angel coming to bless all of humanity he had run through and obliterated all enemies of humanity. Destroying everything in sight and bringing all enemies to his feet he had saved humanity and restored hope and just like that he had disappeared into the void once again. There was no explanation as to how or why but in that moment all of humanity knew who we would be forever grateful and indebted to. Not many opponents had been left standing but the few who were, were extremely weakened and overwhelmed by numbers. After this decisive battle humanity had been in a state of joy and excitement out of their new victory. Once all the excitement and happiness from winning had worn off all the sorrow and remorse from the losses had come rushing in. All the lost family members, dead soldiers, limbs lost, and mental trauma had taken a toll on humanity. After we had gotten our planet back we did not spend our time rebuilding and trying to repopulate. We spent months mourning the loss of our loved ones and all our soldiers. We laid in depression and sorrow for our mutual loss and mental trauma. This brought humanity closer as a whole and we bonded over our suffering. Humanity had been one but at what cost. After years of processing humanity had finally been able to rebuild all of our structures, population, and even expand to different planets. After all these trials and tribulations we had finally evolved completely and after ages of loss we had finally entered a golden age of humanity. After all this we had begun to explore the deep parts of our planet and while exploring we discovered something far beyond our comprehension. Humanity had only been a small part of a vastly bigger world and a whole new world had now been exposed to us. We had breached through the ice caps of the north pole and had been greeted with hostility from a race on our planet we did not even know existed. After entering this “new world” humanity had found out the truth of our existence and creation. After finding out the truth of our creation and the prophecy of our faith we had all collectively regretted winning that war. Beyond our world laid horrors and truths we were not yet prepared for. After all this we had once again been thrown into a dark age with no will to fight. In the end this was the beginning of the end for humanity…

[SPOILERS for dialogue Vs the final boss of HADES II]
I wish I remembered to take a screenshot of the interaction but I'm assuming time travel of some kind might be involved in the story now. Especially after some dialogue between Melinoë and Chronos where she says she's from a future of sorts.
Unless I'm reading into that conversation too much. Chronos does shut that idea down by stating how it's impossible to go back as time only moves forwards and since he is time, I'm inclined to believe him on that.
However, we know that Chronos' control/undertanding of time can be fallible through Magick as we learn an incantation that prevents him from resuming the game if you try to pause during his boss fight.
So with Melinoë being involved with Hecate and the witches of the crossroads, is it possible that Melinoë is indeed from the future?
I'm not fully sure of the strict timeline of events in the story. I believe it goes: Chronos escapes > Chronos takes over house of Hades > Hecate rescues infant Melinoë > Chronos begins war with Olympus > Grown up Melinoë is revealed to the Gods by Hermes > The start of the Game.
Even with that, we're not too sure of how long each of these individual events last. My main concern is how long the war between Chronos and the Gods of Olympus has lasted. After unlocking the surface and the City of Ephyra (which is just on the outskirts of the underworld/current domain of Chronos), I assumed Chronos' takeover has been a relatively recent event and based on dialogue with various Gods about going to Olympus, it doesn't seem like they've been locked in this conflict for a long lasting amount of time.
There's also details such as Melinoë being the only one who has aged considerably compared to her past self (family picture in her tent where she's an infant) but I guess this could be countered by most of the cast being divine, near ageless beings.
This leads me to believe that there's a possibility that when Hecate rescued Melinoë, they spent a long time training together, not getting involved with the ongoing battle for better or worse. Afterwards, through some witchcraft, Melinoë was sent back in time earlier during the battle where Chronos' forces are still relatively new and the Gods aren't exhausted by a prolonged conflict so they would have a greater advantage against the Titan of Time.
Just a theory though. There's other things that could go against it as well, such as the hints at Melinoë's past relationship with Icarus. Also, there might be additional dialogue that I've either missed or haven't seen yet. This is Hades after all, where there's just so many unique lines of dialogue. Hopefully, in future patches or when the full release of the game comes out, we'll know by then.

Greetings knaves! I’ve found myself with some time on my hands and a hankering to be creative and to get a long-term RP on the go! I have a few (very rough) ideas that I will post below, but you never know, they might spark something. Also, feel free to bring plots or we can just come up with something together.
A little bit about me:

• Male in his mid-30s
• I’m in EST
• Write roughly 4 paragraphs per post. With that said, I oftentimes get carried away and write more.
• Love to double and introduce side characters, but don’t mind if we want to stick to just our main OCs
• Use discord for RP

What I’m looking for in an RP Partner:

• Likes worldbuilding and plotting.
• Someone 25+ (I’m getting ever close to the dreaded mid 30s!)
• Loves to take the reins of the RP every-now-and-then and throw some plot twists in the mix. Of course I will do the same!
• Is in it for the long-haul
• Likes to OOC/keep in communication.

Genres I'm interested in/have a premise or idea for:
Medieval Fantasy
Modern Fantasy
Science Fiction/Post-Apocalyptic
Superhero/Supervillain
Slice of Life (I really enjoy adding fantasy elements to SOL just to give it a bit more pop!)
If you have an idea in mind that you've been dying to try out, let me know! Alternatively, if you want to start from scratch and build something together, I would love that too! Well, that's all for me. If you made it this far, you're a real one!

Im suffering from pretty bad burnout and trying to get support. This is an old event that left me running from my special interest.
Most of my life Ive been enamoured with computers, probably 10 years old when I saw my first one at my friend's house. I eventually after many failed attempts at other things, I had the experience and know how to get and IT job. It was perfect, life wasn't but at least work was great until it wasn't.
I worked as an analyst for a major ISP, once they noticed my work flow they started to add on to it. I transitioned to a follow up person, instead of a call taker. We only had two follow up people, one on each shift for a total of two. I handled high level impact events and managed RMAs the best i could. If a person needed help in the office with a problem I was usually the person to go to, my supervisors even asked me for help regularly. Also I was the only person to be able to handle follow up and keep it caught up. Follow up was mainly taking the tickets from issues throughout the entire region from data center down to customer and doing just that, following up. Most tickets were data center to node level though.
Down time in the office for me was rare but eventually I had a routine that aloud for some. We were encouraged to browse the Internet and get on our social media accounts. I did some, not nearly as much as most though. I was really into prepping, I never owned a gun. I never looked at guns at work or at home, I don't know why but I was fascinated with reloading benches. I have this thing with efficiency and I was hyper fixated on the cost of ammo versus reloading ammo. Again I didn't own a gun and wasn't even looking to buy one. However I did look at a ton of reloading benches though.
I had no idea what was going on with me at the time, work life was suffering as was home life. Somehow I had ended up with custody of both of my nieces because my brother hit them. They both called DCFS, not at the same time but about three weeks apart. I didn't want custody of my nieces but I was being very heavily pressured by family. I was living with my brother at the time, they couldn't live with their mom full time at that time. So essentially they would go to moms when I was at work if they weren't at school. I was buying groceries, cooking and cleaning for them and also paying rent to their dad. Their dad, my brother was gambling a lot at the time and was all a round not being a good person. He is diagnosed with bipolar. He attacked me a couple times while I had custody of his kids, I was calling him out for being a bad dad.
Back to work now and I've applied to a new position that would get me into a department that I was super interested in, critical infrastructure. I was given a programming test that I had 30 minutes to complete, it was a cake walk. Well during the interview I was asked how I would handle conflict resolution with a team member if we could just not come to terms on something. The response I gave was "I would need to go to my superior to get it worked out". I was told that my response was to militaristic and that me only scoring second highest on the programing test is the reason I didn't get the job. The other person was given the test and had 24 hours to complete it.
Life sucked at this point, I was feeling really burned by it all and was just getting less tolerant of a lot. My attitude at work changed and I was just not doing great all around. I must say I was really into conspiracy theories at that time too, I didn't believe in many but the one I did probably should have been quiet about. I don't want to talk about it and if you have made it this far you will soon know why. If you want to know after I will say in a DM.
I went into work one day and I guess it was time, they escorted me downstairs to this interrogation room. This old detective type person started laying into me about wanting to shoot the place up. They threw my web history at me, my chat logs. I was in shock and didn't know what to do, he just kept trying to show me reloading benches. They just kept at it for a long time, well it felt like a long time. I eventually just wrote out what happened and he wanted me to change what I wrote at the end. I specifically stated that at no point had I planned to shoot anything up and I was sorry if anyone took my actions or words that way. He wanted change it to say that I did want to shoot up the place. That was the main reason it took so long in that room. I was let go but it wasn't the end of it.
Within 12hrs my place was surrounded by police with automatic rifles. I was taken to a hospital where I think they thought I would be committed? The psychiatrist I saw after many hours was understanding and said I was fine and let me go. She even understood my stance on the conspiracy theory that landed me in that place and told me I wasn't crazy for believing it!
After about a month went by I had the FBI knocking on my door. I had an interview with them and was just so nervous at that point I just wanted it to be over with. I could barely talk I was so scared.
I never fully could trust another after that.

So I’m having an issue where I’m being sent offers and I receive no notification anywhere. The first time it happened I found out because I was sent a message that an offer was revoked because the job expired. I had no idea I was even picked for it… $500 lost. The second time I received an email ONE MONTH after the offer was sent, and after I accepted it I was able to see the date it was sent. To be fully clear, this offer was not anywhere in my account at all- I check my emails and proposals/offers daily.
I contacted UW support and they dragged their feet and then told me they resolved it, no details. Today, a recurring client told me I won a job, but I didn’t get a contract which isn’t like him. It’s possible he hasn’t sent it yet (weird and unlikely) but I’m freaking out a little. I have contacted UW support again about this issue and I’ve sent the client a brief message letting him know about the issue and requesting confirmation of a sent contract through a separate message. I’m wondering if anyone at all has any insight? I can’t find anything about it online.

Long time lurker, first time redditoposter. I've been listening and reading a lot of these horror stories and figured it might be fun to share mine.
I haven't actually played a game of DnD or DnD adjacent since about 2020/2021, mostly because of what transpired during the games I actually did play before that. I love the concept, I love creating characters and stories and worlds, but I get a pit in my stomach when I actually try to play again.
I had my first opportunity to play DnD my freshman year of college. I dropped in on the campus tabletop club and I was quite anxious. I was the only girl in the room, everyone seemed to have known each other or clicked well, but I wanted to branch out of my comfort zone. The first night went well! We played a very quick heist one shot where we made a character with one flaw and one interesting trait. Through unfortunate rolls and circumstances, we had a TPK, but it was a fun time. I was invited afterwards to join a Pathfinder campaign that a few of the members were going to start up for the new semester, and so I scheduled a time to meet with the DM and create my first full fledged character.
Now, the DM was kind of eccentric, a little whack if you will but very excited to help me make my first character. I thought he was just goofy and really into the game. God I wish I picked up on all the red flags that would come.
He first asked me what kind of race I'd like to play as. I had always been drawn to tiefling characters because I liked the aesthetic. His eyes lit up at that for some reason. Then he asked what class I'd like; if I'd like to be primarily a support or tank or what have you. I didn't want to get overwhelmed in my first game and thought support might be nice. I could watch how combat worked while just keeping everyone going and buffed. I said let's try bard! The grin that crept up on his face...
He immediately started talking about how saucy that would be, how my character would be so flirty and fun. I expressed some discomfort in having my character immediately fall into the "h*rny bard" category I had seen meme'd on so much, but he laughed and waved it off by saying he "was a theater kid in high school! Everyone was super h*orny and making out backstage all the time. It just comes with the environment!" Being a new player, and wanting to fit in, I pushed down my discomfort and thought okay, I'll play her as a joke character I guess.
For awhile it was fine, I got to play her as a dancelyre player who was part of a traveling circus. Nothing weird was coming up the first few sessions. Most of the other PCs either joined together by taking quests from the town job board, or had ties built in to their backstory. My first red flag should have been that the DM, despite constantly raving about all his planning, was frequently skipping around the story. He would suddenly decide the plot point we were on wasn't interesting enough for some reason, and just throw us into another scenario. We left so many lose ends because he just didn't feel like finishing them, regardless of if we were engaging in it or not. But hey, he's the DM right? That's what I thought, he had the right to change it. I had no prior experience to see this was just bad DMing.
We ended up joining an archery competition as we were tempted by a mystery grand prize. At the sign up table, out of nowhere, the DMPC attending to registration suddenly starts flirting with my character. I got flustered in a negative way because this DM got very into character (giving me looks, leaning in as he spoke to me, the whole shebang). I panicked, all of a sudden being the focus of a room full of men seeing how I'd react to it. I again, stupidly, went along with it. I had her (nervously) flirt back lightly, and I was relieved it didn't go much further at that point. Skipping to the end of the archery competition, my bard ended up in the final two and sabotaged an assassination on the town's mayor mid competition. The party was invited to a celebratory dinner at the mayor's house afterwards, where we once again ran into the NPC that flirted with my character at registration. He invited her to bed, and again I got extremely uncomfortable and flustered. None of this was discussed beforehand, nor was I even asked if I was comfortable with such topics before joining the campaign. The guys at the table were egging me on, and I felt pressured to accept. With a few hoots and hollers, we had a fade to black scene (thank god). I went home feeling very icky, but convinced myself I was being a wimp. And the table had enjoyed my antics that night, so I should be grateful.
I had the thought between sessions to write in a childhood friends to lovers interest for my bard to try and avoid any more unexpected encounters like that again, thinking if the DM had another character to play as with some personal tie to my bard, that would make be feel better about the interactions. He was brought up once, where I milked the f*ck out of my character's attachment to him, hoping to drive home that this was juicy potential relationship to build over the campaign. He never came up again during that campaign. The DM also completely disregarded many of the notes I gave him detailing this love interest's personality, and took many 'creative liberties' with him, but not enough where I would decide to say something.
Another few sessions happened where we struggled through the DMs inconsistent storytelling and jumping around to whatever plot point had his interest at the moment. He was constantly putting us in fights we could not hope to win, way too challenging for our lvl. 1-3 party. We often sat around the table in disappointment and defeat as we got absolutely destroyed by monsters (no one being able to land hits for sometimes 3-4 rounds at a time because of how high the AC or CR was), while the DM laughed and basked in the dreary nature of the table. He would usually eventually fudge rolls to give us an out when we were close to TPKs. He even gave us a deck of many things and insisted our PCs "felt compelled" to pull cards despite the players disagreeing they that wanted to. He attempted to force my character to drastically change her alignment to an evil one for shits and giggles because of one card pull (later allowed me to ignore it because I didn't even WANT to use the deck), and got three of us killed by having them pull a card that summoned the highest CR monster you could use.
One night he texts the group chat that he decided he's done running that story, and wants to run another one shot instead. We had one last session to "close" that first campaign and discuss the one shot options. During our meeting, he gleefully admitted to me that he had planned for my bard to get PREGNANT in that one night stand with the NPC from the archery competition. Not only did he plan to do that without my consent or knowledge, he had planned for it to be a HAG baby that would have entirely f*cked my PC up (he explained it as the man having been a witch in disguise or something?? And said that's how hags are made? Which to my knowledge is entirely incorrect. Maybe it was a homebrew rule, but regardless, I was mortified. And now very grateful he lost interest in that campaign).
Moving on to the one shot, another player decided to try DMing, and so the Problem DM had a chance to be a PC, yay! He privately messaged me and asked if I'd be interested in connecting our characters and their backstories. I said yes and we got to work. We spent a few nights discussing their dynamic and I was really excited to go into this game. Well, come the night of the session, we were going around the table introducing our characters. The Problem DM went before me, and introduced an entirely different character than the one we discussed, and one that would often almost kill us during the one shot (to which the guy would cackle and mock us for getting upset each time). I asked him what happened to our plan, and he said earlier that day he decided he wanted to do something different. I sighed and let it go, because at least it was just a one shot and my character could still function without his connection to the other PC. Another one shot where the Problem DM got to be a PC, he seemed to make it his goal to be the biggest asshole to everyone else's character. My PC was an archaeologist, and when she excitedly discovered some old pottery in a dungeon, he had his PC run up and smash everything and laugh in her face.
The next campaign we tried that had issues was a Starfinder campaign. Our party was considered its own crew for a space ship, plus one DMPC that was placed into the mix supposedly to help us if we fell short, since we were all unfamiliar with Starfinder and spaceship battle mechanics. She was honestly a really cool character! And we had one or two sessions to establish the story and how the crew interacted. Now, this was my mistake, not taking any of the other creepy habits of the DM into consideration, but I offhandedly mentioned to the table at large that my PC (a woman) might be developing a crush on this DMPC (also a woman). They had gone through a lot together in-game at that point and it felt natural. The next session, you'll never guess, the DMPC started flirting hard core with my character. I was confused and asked the DM what that was about, as we had never had any interactions between those two that would be read as romantic. Even if I mentioned my character was crushing, she had never let it on, and the DMPC had never indicated she felt a similar pull as well. The DM didn't really have an explanation, just that apparently in-universe, the DMPC had been flirting more and more with my character since their last adventure together alone. I thought, okay, I guess...
Honestly? What transpired would have been an insanely cool plot twist if we had had the time to actually roleplay and develop the relationship between my character and the DMPC, as well as the crew at large and the DMPC. She ended up being part of a cult that wanted to steal an artifact we had acquired. She was apparently trying to 'romance' my PC because my PC was the one who often guarded the artifact, and needed her to let her guard down. It would have been a super impactful betrayal, but it was literally only a handful of sessions between the first meeting, and the plot twist. We just had to trust the DMs word that we had all gotten super attached to her between actual session meetings and we all should feel like we were stabbed in the back by this trusted individual. And I especially should feel heartbroken because she never really was interested in me anyway.
Later on down the line, despite some very interesting story points, it got creepy again. Our PCs ended up being sucked into a death game show, and isolated from the outside world while being broadcast to universal TV stations. At some point we were all given access to the internet after a few weeks in isolation to search up anything we wanted. Everyone searched up their names among other things. The DM described us finding our newly formed fanbases. He described the other PCs fanbases (men played by men) as having hot debates on their intelligence and decisions during the show, or bets on if they'd be the last ones standing; that sort of stuff. He described my fanbase as leering creeps saying the most unhinged things about what they wanted my PC to do to them s*xually, as well as some spreading photos of my PC without her face covering (she was a Kasatha, which canonically keep their mouths covered. But she had been forced to remove it briefly when it almost waterboarded her after she fell into a river).
Eventually, we weren't able to meet consistently enough to warrant running campaigns anymore, and I fell out of touch with all involved. Oh, we also lost a player at some point right after he confessed to me and I declined his interest.
I went another year not playing before another friend group of mine invited me to play as a guest character. I thought this would be a nice way to ease back into the game slowly after my horrid experiences before. Rather than make an entirely new character for one or two sessions, I brought back my tiefling bard because I still really liked her character, and had started to reshape her personality without being pressured to have her be a s*xual chess piece. The new DM dropped my character in a labyrinth their current party had been trapped in for awhile. I was made to be a level or two higher and be an ally they encountered to help them escape. We did, it was fun! But I was only there as a guest, and had only planned my character to be in one to two sessions before leaving. I was consistently mentioning to the party that my PC would be leaving as soon as they get to her major city, but either they didn't think I was serious or didn't remember. I may have been convinced to come on full time, but unfortunately, history repeats itself. We got to a session where the party got to a tavern and drowned their sorrows and nursed their labyrinth bruises with beer, and the idea of a threesome was thrown in the air between my PC and two others. Now, half of this group were dating someone else in the group, and seemed very comfortable roleplaying casual s*x between their PCs because of it. They started a damn chant pressuring me to say yes, already trying to roleplay it, and I felt sick. I was too anxious at the idea of saying no with how aggressive everyone was for me to agree, so I tried to "roll for yes or no" as an out; the dice failed me, and it rolled a number assigned to yes. I was very quiet the rest of the session, and afterwards messaged the DM that I want my character to leave at the beginning of the next session.
The DM then tried to convince me to stay, despite me saying a clear no multiple times within the same conversation. They begged me to stay saying the party loved my PC a lot, and they would hate to lose me. When they finally relented, they then tried to smoothly transition to talk of making me a new character so I could permanently stay with the party, without compromising my bards story and decision. I kind of got on their case about that, and told them to stop pressuring me and I did not want to play with that group anymore. Eventually, they gave up, but not without some low key guilt tripping.
I tried playing with one more group after this, and while it didn't get creepy, it was also a disappointment as none of the players seemed to care besides me and the DM, despite everyone having encouraged starting the game because they wanted to learn how to play for the first time. Players slowly started ghosting us, drama happened between two players that joined just to have an excuse to talk and try and date (which ended up very messy and they both left), and the new players would get angry at me or the DM if they got confused with the rules or combat dynamics (the wizard rushed ahead of me, the tank barbarian, and then acted like it was my fault when they nearly got killed in the first round because "the tank is supposed to protect the damage dealers").
The DM and I stayed in contact after all the other players ghosted the chat, and ended up bringing over some other new players who had also played before, and re hauled the campaign. This one had so much promise...then quarantine hit, and we couldn't keep up with regular meetings.
At this point, with all my games ending with creeps, messy player dynamics or falling through, I decided maybe these kinds of games weren't for me.
I have new friends now inviting me to play, who have very functional groups (experienced professional DMs, closeknit friend groups, long-running campaigns), but I am too wary to accept any more offers for games, despite deep down really wanting to try again and be part of something I know can be amazing. Maybe I will one day, but until then, I just have these horror stories to think about.

English is my first language let me have it.
Backstory:
My uncle was accused of SA by his stepdaughter. I was asked to let him stay in my house while the case happened. I and the rest of my family believed him when he said he didn't do it, spoilers he didn't. I drafted a lease, charged him $300 a month and one of the stipulations of the lease was the stepdaughter was not allowed in my house FOR ANY REASON. I had simple reasons for this A) he has no business being anywhere near this girl except in a courtroom or other official setting and b) I didn't want someone I believed to be lying about SA anywhere near ME. She lives 20 minutes away by car and 60 by bus so there's absolutely no reason for her to be here.
This stipulation did not end just bc they revealed she had been lying (they found the texts between her and her shitty friends who thought it'd be funny to lie). My uncle thought it did. I show up after work one day to this girl in my house watching TV and no one else around. I immediately call 911 and stay in view of both my and my neighbors ring doorbell cameras. Before the cops show up my uncle is walking down the street with his wife and bio kid. He tells me I'm freaking out and need calm down. I tell him he broke the lease terms and he is getting 30 days to vacate and if that girl doesn't get out of my house by the time the cops get here I'm trespassing her.
Giant family hullabaloo I kick him out he moves back in with his wife, they stayed separately as they were working on their marriage following the incident, which eventually led to more issues with the stepdaughter, my uncle and his wife. He couldn't afford the house after she moved state and now we're here.
He's back asking to stay. But he also wants to stay for free so he can move out faster. Aside from the fact that he can afford to pay the $300/month from before given he was covering $1100/month plus bills and he doesn't have child support nor alimony I call bs. I didn't go into any detailed explanation I just said "you broke the lease terms once. I'm not giving you a chance to do it again."
So AITA?
Edit: forgot to mention throwaway bc I'm not the only member of my family on Reddit.

When it comes to playing IPTV (Internet Protocol Television) streams, there are several popular media players that are commonly used for this purpose. Here are some of the best players to use with IPTV:

1. TiviMate: TiviMate is a popular IPTV player for Android devices that offers a modern and user-friendly interface for managing and playing IPTV channels. It supports features like EPG, channel grouping, and more.
2. IPTV Smarters: IPTV Smarters is a popular IPTV player that is available on various platforms, including Android, iOS, and Windows. It offers a user-friendly interface with features like EPG (Electronic Program Guide) support, catch-up TV, and more.
3. Perfect Player: Perfect Player is a dedicated IPTV player that is designed specifically for playing IPTV streams. It is available on Android and Windows platforms and offers a clean and intuitive interface for managing and watching IPTV channels.
4. Kodi: Kodi is a popular media center application that can be customized with various add-ons to support IPTV streams. It is available on multiple platforms and offers a user-friendly interface for accessing and playing IPTV content.
5. GSE Smart IPTV: GSE Smart IPTV is another popular IPTV player available on iOS, Android, and Apple TV. It supports various IPTV formats and offers features like EPG support, parental controls, and more.
6. VLC Media Player: VLC is a free and open-source multimedia player that supports a wide range of audio and video formats, including IPTV streams. It is available on multiple platforms, including Windows, macOS, Linux, Android, and iOS.

These are just a few of the many media players available for playing IPTV streams. The best player for you will depend on your specific needs and preferences, so it's a good idea to try out a few different options to see which one works best for you.

SOME BACKGROUND:
I'm going to be upfront; the one thing truly stopping me from saying I am autistic with full certainty is my lack of an official diagnosis, despite having the knowledge that one does not need to be diagnosed to be autistic. I'm almost entirely certain after about 8 or so years of consideration. I'm attempting to seek a diagnosis not only for personal validation though, but also to have something concrete to give to my parents. For now, I consider myself self-diagnosed, though I've given my psychiatrist a 20 page document detailing why I believe I would benefit from a proper evaluation as well as all of the experiences and the collection of traits I have that I attribute to being autistic.
For some background: I am 20 and AFAB, transmasc but presenting as female due to not being out of the closet. I am Vietnamese and part of the first generation in my family to be born in America. My parents and grandparents were born and raised in Vietnam, and thus were raised with a very different culture surrounding things such as mental health and disability compared to the information I've had access to growing up in the US. I still live with my parents and am struggling with already diagnosed mental health issues including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified ADHD, and an unspecified trauma disorder. Because of the language and cultural barrier, my parents are really only aware of the depression in name, and the ADHD they understand even less. They are trying their best, though my dad hasn't looked at any of the resources I've sent him about ADHD or autism in my attempts to help him understand better.
On my dad in particular: he has always been the kind to believe in toughing things out and simply trying harder. Over the years he has grown to be more understanding, especially as my mental health issues grew to degrees that became harder to hide, but we have a history in terms of what I'm about to describe re: my very recent meltdown.
WHAT HAPPENED:
The day before Mother's Day, my dad sprung up on me without warning that me and my younger brother were going over to our paternal grandparents' house to wish our grandmother a happy Mother's Day. This immediately upset me not because I didn't want to go, but because I hadn't had the time to mentally prepare myself for the shift in my routine—I had only done so for the actual date of Mother's Day. I've asked my family before that I am told ahead of time when plans to go out of the house where I'm involved are made, preferably at least a day beforehand. Unfortunately, my family is comprised of very spontaneous people who tend to make plans on the fly.
I made it clear I was fairly upset about not being told ahead of time to my mother, who thanked me when I got up to get ready to go. Something about being thanked for this was the final nail in the coffin for the upset that was gripping me. I think it was the idea that she knew full well that I was attempting to set aside my own comforts(? for lack of a better term) for the sake of family normality; something that I've had to do often.
I had a quiet breakdown in the bathroom while I washed myself, which came with the annoyance of how snotty tears would make you. Very annoying when bowing your head to wash your hair. I've had practice locking myself in the bathroom to have my breakdowns in a private place where I couldn't be walked in on and then questioned, because I always knew that I could never explain why I was having such a disproportionate reaction, especially given the cultural barrier. It would all seem stupid, immature, selfish, spoiled, and an overreaction. My plan was to cry it out in the shower and come back out after composing myself so we could leave. Tried and true method. I bit the back of my hands—to stifle my crying, to give myself a physical sensation to ground myself with, some combination of those two. It helped only a little bit.
As it turns out, there was a lot of baggage behind this upset outside of just this one incident. There is a very long-running pattern in which I must sacrifice my comfort or suck up my complaints in order to appease whatever my parents have decided to do, or whatever I was expected to do.
Sometimes it was their obsession with taking billions of family pictures—I vividly recall one instance where I was horribly upset about having to wear a dress, especially for the sole sake of driving to some flower field just to take pretty family pictures of which we have thousands. I was much younger at the time, maybe 14, and was expressing my upset in the only somewhat acceptable way I could, i.e. being incredibly grumpy. Eventually my dad blew up at me for being spoiled and various other things while I cried in the back of the car, my mother and younger brother dead silent. He drove to cool off. We did not talk about it ever again afterward.
Sometimes it was school-related. When I was around 11, I was struggling to complete an assignment for school for reasons I couldn't articulate, and honestly still can't. It was simple, and it was a drawing assignment, and I absolutely adored traditional art. But I was simply Stuck on some part, and was working myself into an anxious mess up until midnight. I was terrified of getting bad grades, of not meeting the expectations of people I considered authority figures, such as teachers. So much so that I wanted to stay home. And knowing I had no "proper" excuse, I tried to use a different one when I asked to stay home for that one day: menstrual cramps. I was told to see how I was doing in the morning.
In the morning I still said I wished to stay home from school due to cramps. After a lot of deliberation with my mother, she relented and allowed me to stay home. Despite the fact that I had gotten what I wanted, I was already horribly upset. Looking back on it, I think it was the fact that I had to fight so hard to stay home for just one day. It was upsetting that my visible upset wasn't enough. It was upsetting that they weren't just getting it.
I had a breakdown in the bathroom (there's a trend here as you can see) and slammed my arm against the heater in there so many times that I ended up with horrible bruising on the back of my arm the days after. My family members knocked on the door because people needed to get ready, and that only made me more upset—couldn't they hear me crying? Didn't they care? When I finally came out and crawled up into the upper bunk, my dad came in and started yelling at me.
Your average stuff, things like, "If I had a stomachache I wouldn't just be able to not go to work." I blocked a lot of it out of my memory, but most of the time I was under the covers crying while he engaged in a one-sided shouting match with me. Eventually my mother came in and gently asked me to stop crying, and to stop making my father mad.
While these two incidents and the others like them happened years ago, they were defining moments in my life and inform how I handle conflict (as in: I don't) and how I go about expressing my struggles (as in: rarely, and often with great shame). Standing in the shower and being unable to not think about these things, I spiraled further. It felt like I was being swallowed by my emotions. I don't know if angry or sad or upset really capture what I was feeling properly. My thoughts were like a car with its brakes cut, going at breakneck speeds on the highway.
By the time I was done with my shower I still wasn't composed. As it turns out, when you abuse a coping mechanism that relies on repression as long as I did, it stops working at some point. There was just too much to try and hide. More hand biting happened along with some hitting my head with my fists. So I sat in my room, and eventually my mom came in and saw my face. Unsurprisingly she didn't acknowledge the fact that I had clearly been crying—instead, with a soft voice, like she was coaxing a small child into doing something vaguely unpleasant, she told me, "Come on, let's go." And I'm sure that's how she was seeing me at that point. An oppositional, defiant child. I struggle not to see myself in that way, and still have been trying to unpack how much shame I feel when things like this happen.
My crying started up again because my tear ducts really don't like listening to me, and I asked somewhat incredulously, "You're still going to make me go?" In retrospect, it probably sounded bratty. Here I was, 20 years old, complaining about being "made" to go somewhere.
It took maybe a couple of seconds for my mom to decide to just let me stay home instead.
Once everyone was out, I had the loudest cry I'd ever experienced in my life. I'd never had the opportunity to, and so it just kind of... came out once the house was silent. I think I might've wailed. And then I promptly shut the hell up once I heard my [maternal] grandmother coming back upstairs. She passed by my room, asked why I didn't go (not noticing the state of my face, maybe due to eyesight). I gave a non-answer and she made some exasperated remark that I don't know how to translate into English. It nearly set me off again, knowing how inconvenient I was, how tired they all were of me and my antics.
I had a headache for the next 20 or so hours, which I knew would happen based on past experiences with breakdowns as emotionally taxing as this one. I'd also predicted during the whole thing that the next day I would be pretty nonfunctional, which I was unfortunately also right about. Whenever these things happen it throws my entire week off. It's upsettingly debilitating. Two days later, I'm somewhat functional, but the whole thing disrupted my... everything. I have an exam that I had planned to study for during the days I was busy trying to get myself back together emotionally. The headache actually came back, and is sitting with me nicely while I type this. Hey there.
The day immediately after, Mother's Day: I was pretty fearful the entire time. Mostly of what my dad was going to do. Best case scenario, he'd come into my room and we could have an open dialogue and communicate about what happened. Worst case scenario, he'd regress and revert back to how he'd been like years ago, screaming at me for my incompetence, my selfishness, my refusal to cooperate with the smallest things despite all our family does for me. After a little bit I had to add on a third possibility: that he would simply go about like nothing happened, which he has also done before. Generally though, I wasn't optimistic about my chances here. I learned through this that I absolutely don't trust him to handle my larger, more intrusive, more ugly issues with grace.
He's been ignoring my existence since my little meltdown. No hellos, good mornings, not even looking at me. He's talking with everyone else as normal. I've been keeping my head down and can really only assume that he's angry with me as I'd expected and based on what I know about him/understand in terms of his personality through prior experience.
While I could give benefit of the doubt and say he may be attempting to give me space, he's the kind of person who you can tell when he's angry. It's something we share. And it's truly more likely that he's upset about me throwing what looked to him like a shitfit over something small and inconsequential, refusing to do something as simple as a visit to make his mothemy paternal grandmother to give Mother's Day gifts. And I didn't get my propensity for avoiding communication and unpleasant conversations at all costs from nowhere, so. Here we are.
I still don't really know if what I had was an autistic meltdown or a "standard" emotional breakdown, whatever that even looks like. I think I'm used to framing my behaviors with neurotypical language, and often language that isn't too kind to myself. So on top of venting a bit, I also wanted to get an outside perspective, and see whether my breakdown sounded similar to any other autistic peoples' experiences with meltdowns.
If there's any advice out there to give in terms of my relationship with my dad, that would also be appreciated. I love my family, but it all hurts, and this has also made me realize that I may have a lot more trauma to unpack surrounding my family than I've acknowledged.
I've been considering getting a physical copy of Sincerely, Your Autistic Child to annotate and highlight certain sections, putting sticky tabs on chapters I find relevant, and providing definitions for words I know he hasn't come across before, to give to him and ask him to at least attempt to read those bits. The more bitter and angry part of me, the part that are tired of having to be the one to accommodate for everything interpersonally, just wants to go up to him and tell him the reason I never go to him when I'm upset is because I'm scared. To tell him exactly what all those times he yelled at me did to my ability to self-advocate, to tell him what all those times my emotions and emotional well being were devalued did to my self-esteem. That the "interpersonally submissive" phrase from my 40 page psych report has roots in the way he raised me entirely on obedience, and how I am still learning that I am allowed to say no in all sorts of contexts. Maybe I can do both of these things, and probably when he isn't pretending I don't exist, and when I feel less like I'll fall to bits the moment I open my mouth in his direction. I'll likely try and avoid using language that outright blames him for the sake of maintaining a good relationship whenever the talk comes around.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that I might need more support than I allowed myself to think. I only recently found out that truly voicing that I'm having academic trouble is something that brings me so much shame that tears spring up in my eyes—going to the Disability Support Services office on my campus made me far more emotional and nervous than I'd expected. With how I'm navigating my own self-acceptance, I don't know how I'm going to get my family to accept that I'm not the "normal" child I know they still wished I was.

This is a network of community servers called Focal Choice. We host various modded servers with a combined cross-servers chat.
We have 3 expert style packs: TerraFirmaGreg, Divine Journey 2, and Stacia 2: Expert.
And we have 1 Create train-oriented world running in the Life in the Village 3 modpack. However, Life in the Village 3 has proven to not hold any interest, so we will be migrating this world to a new modpack soon.
We have various events in the works. Fun minigame-type-things.
Below you will find all the information you need to know about our servers. To join simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is inferius.
PS: This network is community driven. Administration handles the backend, while players like you "host" the servers. We have limited server slots. So btw, if you are looking for a community and you have previous hosting experience, ask for details!

-----TerraFirmaGreg-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 0.7.8
• Teleport commands: None. The pack doesnt include them.

This server just opened a couple days ago. It is a realistic and challenging modpack. You can play on your own, or more ideally join the main group team. We appear to be the only English host for this pack!

-----Stacia 2: Expert-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: Beta 0.9.10 Hotfix
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones and Sharestones do not generate and are not craftable.

This is a new expert pack! It receives updates frequently, and therefore we will update frequently too.
In place of /tpa, everyone will be offered a free Sharestone, color-coded to Spawn. It will be placed by an Admin. You will be able to use this to meet people and visit their bases. (You do not have to accept the Sharestone.)

-----Life in the Village 3 (Subject to change)-----

• Difficulty: Hard
• PackVersion: 2.8
• No Traverse worldgen. Terralith worldgen is used here.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 30 mins cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones are not sold by Quest menu / NPCs. They spawn naturally and cannot be broken.

This server is being reworked. We are figuring out what modpack to migrate the world to. The world has a lot of player-built train infrastructure in it from Create, and we want to expand on that some more with whatever pack it changes to.
You are welcome to play in the mean time!

-----Divine Journey 2-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 2.21.0
• Explosions in claims are ENABLED, ignoring player settings.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. /rtp has a 10 min cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. Teammates joining together will have temporary access to /tpa while you find a home.

If you are looking for a place to play DJ2, I'd recommend here. You could try a fresh server since there might be more players there, but based on my experience the retention rate for DJ2 is very low. It's a hard pack and people get bored.
I suggest playing here because this world has history and bases you can visit to see how people do things.
In place of TP commands, you may choose to opt-in to the complementary hub-connected portal system. You may choose to allow an admin to place a Mekanism portal near your base (a few chunks away). It will lead to spawn, where there is a collection of portals that connect to others' bases.
Pic of Hub: https://imgur.com/OPlrdCx

-----General Info-----

• Server Location: US East
• Server Hardware: i7-10700k. 100+GB RAM. Backup generator. Fiber networking.
• Player Timezones: US ET(-5:00), US MT(-7:00), US West(-8:00), UTC+1.
• View Distance: 15 (changes depending on lag)
• PVP: On
• World Resets: Will never happen
• Chunk claiming: Very generous claim/forceload allocations compared to other servers.

-----Griefing / age-range / maturity level:

You are expected to know the difference between light-hearted immature play/joking versus having a consistently immature personality.
Server rules: All rules are in the discord. You'll read them before joining.
To join, simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is watermelwin. You can also message inferius or roses01 on discord.

This is a network of community servers called Focal Choice. We host various modded servers with a combined cross-servers chat.
We have 3 expert style packs: TerraFirmaGreg, Divine Journey 2, and Stacia 2: Expert.
And we have 1 Create train-oriented world running in the Life in the Village 3 modpack. However, Life in the Village 3 has proven to not hold any interest, so we will be migrating this world to a new modpack soon.
We have various events in the works. Fun minigame-type-things.
Below you will find all the information you need to know about our servers. To join simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is inferius.
PS: This network is community driven. Administration handles the backend, while players like you "host" the servers. We have limited server slots. So btw, if you are looking for a community and you have previous hosting experience, ask for details!

-----TerraFirmaGreg-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 0.7.8
• Teleport commands: None. The pack doesnt include them.

This server just opened a couple days ago. It is a realistic and challenging modpack. You can play on your own, or more ideally join the main group team. We appear to be the only English host for this pack!

-----Stacia 2: Expert-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: Beta 0.9.10 Hotfix
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones and Sharestones do not generate and are not craftable.

This is a new expert pack! It receives updates frequently, and therefore we will update frequently too.
In place of /tpa, everyone will be offered a free Sharestone, color-coded to Spawn. It will be placed by an Admin. You will be able to use this to meet people and visit their bases. (You do not have to accept the Sharestone.)

-----Life in the Village 3 (Subject to change)-----

• Difficulty: Hard
• PackVersion: 2.8
• No Traverse worldgen. Terralith worldgen is used here.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 30 mins cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones are not sold by Quest menu / NPCs. They spawn naturally and cannot be broken.

This server is being reworked. We are figuring out what modpack to migrate the world to. The world has a lot of player-built train infrastructure in it from Create, and we want to expand on that some more with whatever pack it changes to.
You are welcome to play in the mean time!

-----Divine Journey 2-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 2.21.0
• Explosions in claims are ENABLED, ignoring player settings.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. /rtp has a 10 min cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. Teammates joining together will have temporary access to /tpa while you find a home.

If you are looking for a place to play DJ2, I'd recommend here. You could try a fresh server since there might be more players there, but based on my experience the retention rate for DJ2 is very low. It's a hard pack and people get bored.
I suggest playing here because this world has history and bases you can visit to see how people do things.
In place of TP commands, you may choose to opt-in to the complementary hub-connected portal system. You may choose to allow an admin to place a Mekanism portal near your base (a few chunks away). It will lead to spawn, where there is a collection of portals that connect to others' bases.
Pic of Hub: https://imgur.com/OPlrdCx

-----General Info-----

• Server Location: US East
• Server Hardware: i7-10700k. 100+GB RAM. Backup generator. Fiber networking.
• Player Timezones: US ET(-5:00), US MT(-7:00), US West(-8:00), UTC+1.
• View Distance: 15 (changes depending on lag)
• PVP: On
• World Resets: Will never happen
• Chunk claiming: Very generous claim/forceload allocations compared to other servers.

-----Griefing / age-range / maturity level:

You are expected to know the difference between light-hearted immature play/joking versus having a consistently immature personality.
Server rules: All rules are in the discord. You'll read them before joining.
To join, simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is watermelwin. You can also message inferius or roses01 on discord.

This is a network of community servers called Focal Choice. We host various modded servers with a combined cross-servers chat.
We have 3 expert style packs: TerraFirmaGreg, Divine Journey 2, and Stacia 2: Expert.
And we have 1 Create train-oriented world running in the Life in the Village 3 modpack. However, Life in the Village 3 has proven to not hold any interest, so we will be migrating this world to a new modpack soon.
We have various events in the works. Fun minigame-type-things.
Below you will find all the information you need to know about our servers. To join simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is inferius.
PS: This network is community driven. Administration handles the backend, while players like you "host" the servers. We have limited server slots. So btw, if you are looking for a community and you have previous hosting experience, ask for details!

-----TerraFirmaGreg-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 0.7.8
• Teleport commands: None. The pack doesnt include them.

This server just opened a couple days ago. It is a realistic and challenging modpack. You can play on your own, or more ideally join the main group team. We appear to be the only English host for this pack!

-----Stacia 2: Expert-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: Beta 0.9.10 Hotfix
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones and Sharestones do not generate and are not craftable.

This is a new expert pack! It receives updates frequently, and therefore we will update frequently too.
In place of /tpa, everyone will be offered a free Sharestone, color-coded to Spawn. It will be placed by an Admin. You will be able to use this to meet people and visit their bases. (You do not have to accept the Sharestone.)

-----Life in the Village 3 (Subject to change)-----

• Difficulty: Hard
• PackVersion: 2.8
• No Traverse worldgen. Terralith worldgen is used here.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 30 mins cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones are not sold by Quest menu / NPCs. They spawn naturally and cannot be broken.

This server is being reworked. We are figuring out what modpack to migrate the world to. The world has a lot of player-built train infrastructure in it from Create, and we want to expand on that some more with whatever pack it changes to.
You are welcome to play in the mean time!

-----Divine Journey 2-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 2.21.0
• Explosions in claims are ENABLED, ignoring player settings.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. /rtp has a 10 min cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. Teammates joining together will have temporary access to /tpa while you find a home.

If you are looking for a place to play DJ2, I'd recommend here. You could try a fresh server since there might be more players there, but based on my experience the retention rate for DJ2 is very low. It's a hard pack and people get bored.
I suggest playing here because this world has history and bases you can visit to see how people do things.
In place of TP commands, you may choose to opt-in to the complementary hub-connected portal system. You may choose to allow an admin to place a Mekanism portal near your base (a few chunks away). It will lead to spawn, where there is a collection of portals that connect to others' bases.
Pic of Hub: https://imgur.com/OPlrdCx

-----General Info-----

• Server Location: US East
• Server Hardware: i7-10700k. 100+GB RAM. Backup generator. Fiber networking.
• Player Timezones: US ET(-5:00), US MT(-7:00), US West(-8:00), UTC+1.
• View Distance: 15 (changes depending on lag)
• PVP: On
• World Resets: Will never happen
• Chunk claiming: Very generous claim/forceload allocations compared to other servers.

-----Griefing / age-range / maturity level:

You are expected to know the difference between light-hearted immature play/joking versus having a consistently immature personality.
Server rules: All rules are in the discord. You'll read them before joining.
To join, simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is watermelwin. You can also message inferius or roses01 on discord.

This is a network of community servers called Focal Choice. We host various modded servers with a combined cross-servers chat.
We have 3 expert style packs: TerraFirmaGreg, Divine Journey 2, and Stacia 2: Expert.
And we have 1 Create train-oriented world running in the Life in the Village 3 modpack. However, Life in the Village 3 has proven to not hold any interest, so we will be migrating this world to a new modpack soon.
We have various events in the works. Fun minigame-type-things.
Below you will find all the information you need to know about our servers. To join simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is inferius.
PS: This network is community driven. Administration handles the backend, while players like you "host" the servers. We have limited server slots. So btw, if you are looking for a community and you have previous hosting experience, ask for details!

-----TerraFirmaGreg-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 0.7.8
• Teleport commands: None. The pack doesnt include them.

This server just opened a couple days ago. It is a realistic and challenging modpack. You can play on your own, or more ideally join the main group team. We appear to be the only English host for this pack!

-----Stacia 2: Expert-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: Beta 0.9.10 Hotfix
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones and Sharestones do not generate and are not craftable.

This is a new expert pack! It receives updates frequently, and therefore we will update frequently too.
In place of /tpa, everyone will be offered a free Sharestone, color-coded to Spawn. It will be placed by an Admin. You will be able to use this to meet people and visit their bases. (You do not have to accept the Sharestone.)

-----Life in the Village 3 (Subject to change)-----

• Difficulty: Hard
• PackVersion: 2.8
• No Traverse worldgen. Terralith worldgen is used here.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 30 mins cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. No /rtp.
• Waystones are not sold by Quest menu / NPCs. They spawn naturally and cannot be broken.

This server is being reworked. We are figuring out what modpack to migrate the world to. The world has a lot of player-built train infrastructure in it from Create, and we want to expand on that some more with whatever pack it changes to.
You are welcome to play in the mean time!

-----Divine Journey 2-----

• Difficulty: Normal
• PackVersion: 2.21.0
• Explosions in claims are ENABLED, ignoring player settings.
• Teleport commands: /home & /spawn have a 6 hour cooldown. /rtp has a 10 min cooldown. No /back. No /tpa. Teammates joining together will have temporary access to /tpa while you find a home.

If you are looking for a place to play DJ2, I'd recommend here. You could try a fresh server since there might be more players there, but based on my experience the retention rate for DJ2 is very low. It's a hard pack and people get bored.
I suggest playing here because this world has history and bases you can visit to see how people do things.
In place of TP commands, you may choose to opt-in to the complementary hub-connected portal system. You may choose to allow an admin to place a Mekanism portal near your base (a few chunks away). It will lead to spawn, where there is a collection of portals that connect to others' bases.
Pic of Hub: https://imgur.com/OPlrdCx

-----General Info-----

• Server Location: US East
• Server Hardware: i7-10700k. 100+GB RAM. Backup generator. Fiber networking.
• Player Timezones: US ET(-5:00), US MT(-7:00), US West(-8:00), UTC+1.
• View Distance: 15 (changes depending on lag)
• PVP: On
• World Resets: Will never happen
• Chunk claiming: Very generous claim/forceload allocations compared to other servers.

-----Griefing / age-range / maturity level:

You are expected to know the difference between light-hearted immature play/joking versus having a consistently immature personality.
Server rules: All rules are in the discord. You'll read them before joining.
To join, simply comment here, or DM me, or DM me on discord. My discord name is watermelwin. You can also message inferius or roses01 on discord.

To start things off, I was always aware of our age gap and problems it may cause in our relationship.
My husband and I didn't meet until I was well into being eighteen, and he was twenty-eight. It didn't bother me much, as he doesn't act much older than me and I'd always felt older than I was due to having a ton of younger siblings, step siblings, and foster kids in and out of my mother's house growing up.
We got engaged when I was nineteen at a yungblood concert, and we originally planned to wait to marry until I was at least twenty. Plans changed when I decided to go into the air force, and we had to push up the wedding in order for him to eventually stay with me on base after basic training.
Fast forward a few months after we were married and I had left for Texas for training, I was injured during PT training and sent home. It was during the craziest parts of covid, so everything was on lockdown and they had strict rules about not keeping anyone on base for a long period of time if injured. I was medically discharged and sent home to heal and have potential surgery.
At the time, my husband was staying with his friend in the city we planned to move to. We already put down a deposit on an apartment when we found out I was going home, but due to Covid restrictions and eviction restrictions, it was returned to us and we were told we could no longer move in.
The first issue I was seeing when I got home was his disattention to me. I was gone for over a month and missed celebrating my twentieth birthday with anyone but the girls in medhold with me, so I was looking forward to spending quality time with my husband.
We went out to eat with his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and one of her friends. I felt like a fifth wheel during the meal, as I was sat at the end of the table instead of being at my husband's side where her friend was sitting. Most of the conversations didn't include me, and I ended up going back to his friend's place feeling let down.
The rest of the time we were staying with his friend, they wanted all of us to go mountain climbing, cliff jumping, and trekking through the woods as they lived in a nature-centered part of the area. (Keep in mind, I was just sent home for being injured, and I had both a knee and ankle brace on my right leg that prevented much movement other than some hobbled walking that was slower than a normal pace).
When I expressed that I wasn't comfortable doing those things and that I wouldn't be jumping thirty feet into a freezing lake when I could barely walk as it is, my husband got upset with me and eventually just left me there alone while they all went to hang out together.
Flash forward four years, it is now 2024 and we have a two-year-old toddler. I didn't end up getting surgery, and I spent nine months being sicker than I'd ever been in my life.
It was a really rough pregnancy for me, and I'd ended up in the hospital multiple times because I couldn't even smell food or step foot into our kitchen without throwing up.
That all went on until the beginning of my third trimester. We decided to travel back to his friend's place, and I was somehow roped into climbing cliffs, wading through treacherous water to climb another cliff on an island out in the middle of a lake, and sleep at the top of sand dunes in a tent on the ground a couple weeks before my due date.
I was then on antibiotics during birth, because my water broke and the hospital sent me home instead of keeping me. My son was born sick, and transferred to a children's hospital to be treated and receive a spinal tap. I ended up sleeping a week in a hard hospital chair in a leaking basement of the hospital because they didn't have enough space for us.
After we were home and everything was settled, my husband would brag about how difficult the whole situation was for him. He had to sleep on a futon during my labour, and he had to have food doordashed to the hospital because, due to covid restrictions, noone else was allowed in with us and he wasn't allowed to leave to get anything.
He ended up having steak, potatoes, and these other elaborate meals delivered to eat in front of me while I wasn't allowed to eat anything until the baby came out. He even thought about bringing his playstation into the hospital room, but I shut that down quickly.
The first year of my son's life, I went back and forth between staying home with him and working in the factory my husband currently works at while my grandma watched our son.
I won't get into too much detail, but at one point when my grandma moved back out of state (she lives in her camper and was only there for the summer), I had to switch to the afternoon shift.
There is a factory supervisor on that shift that is a male and close to my husband's age. Other than the other person in my same position and two maintenance workers, they only had migrant workers that didn't speak english. This limited the people I could talk to while working my twelve hour shifts (husband worked 3:30 am to 3:30 pm and I would work 3:30 pm to 3:30 am).
My husband got very jealous and territorial at this time. He would expect me to return nearly thirty minutes late from all my breaks, threaten to go up there if anyone told me I couldn't do that, and even punched a hole in the wall when I told him I had to get back to work.
Up until that point, my husband had shown no signs of aggression toward me.
Somehow, a rumour started to spread around the factory that I was sleeping with the production lead. This definitely wasn't true as a) how and where would I have done that? and b) I loved my husband and would have never done something like that.
My husband heard about it, and came home to confront me. He got in my face, screaming and calling me a cheater. He threatened to take our son and move back in with his mom without even letting me offer an explanation or defend myself.
To this day, it still bothers me that he is still so convinced that I cheated on him and that he has no trust in me whatsoever to not do something like that.
I ended up leaving that job and working at mcdonalds for a little while. I had worked there in high school, so it wasn't a big adjustment.
I only ended up staying there a few months to help us catch up on bills before we agreed it would be better for me to stay home with our son for a while.
Our son is two now, and it seems like our relationship has only become more strained. We used to be able to communicate most of our smaller issues and come up with ways to maneuver whatever issues we had. However, in June of last year, my husband's friend that we were staying with in the beginning moved across the state to be near us.
It was all fine and good in the beginning. He had proposed to his girlfriend, and they even asked the both of us to be in their wedding that has yet to happen.
However, once they got engaged, he'd began acting very sexist. Even though both he and his fiance work full time (he works down the road at the factory with my fiance, and she works forty minutes away at a hardware store and has to drive a long way at three in the morning to get there), he expects her to come home and clean up after him, also cook his meals before she goes to bed early to get up really early in the morning for work the next day.
My husband, now hanging out with him more often, started having some of these things wearing off on him.
At first, it wasn't a big deal and I brushed it off. However, I'd gotten a job as a property manager for an apartment complex and also work now. Instead of things changing to adapt our new lifestyle, my husband expects me to continue keeping up with all the chores and cooking.
He'd made a comment that, because he feeds our dogs, he expects me just to do everything that involves our toddler from feeding him, to changing his butt, to putting him to bed at night. It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get him to change his butt or even get pants on him.
We'd gotten into an argument over this, and I told him that it wasn't fair that he expected me to do everything. His response was that he made more money and worked more hours, so it was only fair that I covered everything else.
Sure, I don't work as much or make as much money, and my paychecks mainly cover our son's daycare and our car payments, but I feel like working doesn't excuse him from helping with the son we both decided to have.
It's gotten to the point where I told my husband that if any sexist remark is made, like I should be in the kitchen helping get dinner ready whenever we're at his friend's house, I will be leaving and going back home, and I won't be going back until it is resolved.
The friend's fiance and I have had private conversations about this, and we both agree that it has gotten out of hand, and we both believe they are feeding off each other as they'd never been that bad before.
Everything has only seemed to get worse from there.
We decided to go as a group, along with my brother and his girlfriend, to the draft in Detroit this year.
The whole point was to see players get drafted in person, and we'd managed to get into the crowd in front of the stage before the area was shut down and they weren't allowing anyone else in.
My brother is an avid football fan. He played in high school, and was even offered multiple scholarships to play in college. This was a once in a lifetime experience for the both of us.
At one point, my husband and his friend decided that they would rather stand at one of the screens out of the crowd and watch it instead of trying to get into the sea of people to see it live.
I was frustrated, and expressed that if we wanted to watch it on television that we should have just stayed home. After a heated argument, I thought we'd come to the agreement that we'd go back to the stage and watch it there.
My brother lead us through the crowd, and at the beginning my husband and his friend were following us. Somehow, we'd gotten separated and when I looked back once we found a spot to stand, they were gone.
My phone rang in my pocket, and when I picked it up it was my husband calling. As soon as I picked it up, he proceeded to scream at me for disappearing and called me a "stupid bitch" when I tried to explain that I thought they were following us.
He hung up, and I told my brother I was going to go look for them alone. I spent a good twenty minutes wandering the area that was barricaded, but they were nowhere to be found. I no longer had signal to get ahold of him, so I ended up just going back and watching the beginning of the draft with my brother.
By the eighth pick, texts started to come in from my husband. He had informed me that they all left, leaving the three of us alone. Luckily, I'd driven separate as I left work early to get there.
By that point, I was done with him. I felt disrespected and that hanging out with his friend was more important than making sure his wife was okay or even with him. After all, I was wandering downtown Detroit alone when it was starting to get dark out.
When the three of us inevitably got back to the car, I got ahold of my husband just to let him know we were on our way home. He tried to apologise and ask how everything was, but I was too exhausted and mad at him to try and hold a conversation. He was asleep by the time I got home, and I ended up sleeping in our spare bedroom on a futon.
The next day, my husband tried to act like nothing happened. When I expressed that I felt ignored and pretty much useless to him, he tried to play it off like his anger was warranted and completely ignored the fact that he was calling me names.
I told him that I was no longer going to any big events with him and his friend, and he just rolled his eyes like he didn't believe me.
A day later, I saw a message pop up on his phone from his friend. I guess he had told him what I said about not going anywhere anymore, and his friend said "women" with an eyeroll emoji and "she'll get over it eventually". I screenshotted these messages and sent them to myself, filing them away in a folder in my phone to keep for later.
I slept in our spare bedroom for a week after that.
After the draft, I've also kept notes in my phone with time and date stamps of all the times he went off on me since then. Whenever we get into arguments, my mind goes blank and I forget exact things like this so he likes to say it never happened if I can't remember it.
April 27th, we were sitting watching videos together on tiktok. When someone popular came on that he had been watching a lot recently, I exclaimed that I didn't understand how he got popular all of a sudden. He proceeded to get really agitated and yell at me for not understanding how the internet works. When I stood up to walk away because I was upset, this angered him more. He then expressed that my emotions were overrated and that he was sick of them.
May 2nd, I had gotten home from work and tried to show my husband an outdoor jungle gym on amazon that I thought would be cool to get our son. He claimed it was a waste of money and that we should just take him to the park. When I tried to explain that it was a better idea to get something like this, as realistically we wouldn't take him to the park every day, he freaked out and asked what was wrong with me. He then said "oh my god" when I tried to explain that it would be easier to watch him outside while getting stuff done around the house and decided to just go to bed without dinner and end the conversation completely.
May 5th, we went with his friend and fiance to a cinco de may party in the city. He was drinking most of the day, and on the way home he wanted us to stop some place and get ice cream. When he got out of the car, he hit it against the car next to us. When I told him he'd hit the car, he proceeded to yell at me in the crowd that I was crazy and acting like my mother. He then kept trying to go to the woman in the car and ask if he had, in fact, hit her car. After, he said he was done with me and I was on my own, that I would have to start paying my own bills from now on.
There's been many other entries in my notes similar to this, and I feel like I'm at the end of what I can handle. Divorce has crossed my mind, but I had divorced parents growing up and know how hard it would be on my son. I also don't think I'm in a well off financial position to go out on my own with our son and still provide the things he needs.
I also worry that, if we were to separate, he would push to take our son from me as he'd threatened in the past to do so.
Any advice would be helpful, as I don't know what else to do. Even getting this all off my chest online makes me feel a little better, but there's still the lingering thought in the back of my mind that I'm unhappy and don't know how much longer I can put up with this.
Thank you.

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