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Marketing Guide For Shopify
2024.05.14 10:51 mtufekyapan Marketing Guide For Shopify
Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn
What do you see here?
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.
Now it’s time to analyze them.
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
AIDA Sales Funnel Framework
Now we can continue with our hypothetical store example. We’re selling high-end, organic baby clothes on our store. We crafted our ICP, empathy map, work on branding and created our story.
We can create a educative e-book like “7 Harmful Chemicals Commonly Used in Baby Clothes and How to Avoid Them” and run some campaigns targeted new parents on social network (Facebook, Instagram or YouTube)
This ads will land on a landing page that gives brief information about why we should pay attention to chemicals in baby clothes for our little ones and make a promise like “I spend my last 5 years about researching chemicals on baby clothes and prepare this book for you and your little one”. Also there can be a quick video about our story explaining our expertise in this field and why we’re building this brand.
We can ask for their email address to share the book with them. When they enter their email address, we’ll send them this ebook.
After first email with the ebook, we can send a few more emails with easy to digest information about chemicals.
This will create an expertise image on our target customers and start to create a bond with them. Not a bad start, right?
At the same time we can use this content on our social media, right? Quick videos, infographics and posts about the chemicals in the baby clothes.
After getting a few thousands subscribers we can organize a webinar to answer questions. This will also a great content for re-used social media content and creating trust and expert image.
Then we can share a time-limited promotion with this people for a bundle. Like we’re running a campaign and these 5 chemical free baby clothes bundles 10% discounted until next week!
We can send emails about it and use this campaign for remarketing for only people who show interest in our e-book and webinar.
This is a very brief template of marketing plan.
Now let’s take a look at more common one.
Don’t forget that marketing strategy is not a hope. It’s a well documented plan of actions designed for turning strangers into customers.
Inbound Marketing Channels: With the inbound marketing your customers will find you and start the interaction. Most common channel for inbound marketing is organic search engine optimization.
After creating high quality content, when customers search something online, they can see your articles and first interaction happens.
Outbound Marketing Channels: With the outbound marketing you reach out to customers. Facebook/Instagram/YouTube ads, influencer marketing, display ads, podcast ads can be count in this category.
As you can imagine inbound marketing channels takes lot’s of efforts and time however over the time you’ll have organic marketing channel and it brings you customer without needing any budget.
Outbound marketing channels generally works with advertisement models and you need budgets to run these channels.
Most of time I recommend to start with outbound marketing channels and then invest inbound marketing channels overtime. Don’t forget to check Mastering Paid Ads For Shopify post.
Succesful marketing plans should be supported by high converting growth and conversion plans. Don’t forget to check Growth Guide For Shopify and Conversion Optimization Guide For Shopify too.
to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn
What do you see here?
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.
Now it’s time to analyze them.
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
This article first published at MarketingLib.
Don't forget to check Growth Suite on Shopify App Store.
submitted by mtufekyapan to GrowthSuite [link] [comments]
- Definition of Marketing
- Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
- Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
- Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
- Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
- Marketing Plan Template
- FAQs
Definition of Marketing
American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. SourceWhat do you see here?
- Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
- Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
- In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.
Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.
Market Research
How can we do the market research?Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.
Competitor Analysis
When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.Now it’s time to analyze them.
- Checkout their branding strategy.
- What are their value propositions?
- What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
- What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
- What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
- Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
- What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
- What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.
Define Your Target Market
What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics
- Age: 25-45 years old
- Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
- Education: College degree or higher
- Income: $75,000+ per household
- Location: Urban areas
- Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents
- Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
- Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
- Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
- Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
- Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price
- Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
- Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
- Wants to make sustainable choices for their children
- High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
- Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
- A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability
- Researches products online before making a purchase
- Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
- Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
- Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.
Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.
- Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
- Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
- Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
- Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.
Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.
Go-to-Market Strategy
Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;
- Free shipping until X date.
- 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.
Marketing Strategy
This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
AIDA Sales Funnel Framework
Now we can continue with our hypothetical store example. We’re selling high-end, organic baby clothes on our store. We crafted our ICP, empathy map, work on branding and created our story.
Example Marketing Strategy
First step we’ll work on attention step. Our focus is getting attention of our target market attention.We can create a educative e-book like “7 Harmful Chemicals Commonly Used in Baby Clothes and How to Avoid Them” and run some campaigns targeted new parents on social network (Facebook, Instagram or YouTube)
This ads will land on a landing page that gives brief information about why we should pay attention to chemicals in baby clothes for our little ones and make a promise like “I spend my last 5 years about researching chemicals on baby clothes and prepare this book for you and your little one”. Also there can be a quick video about our story explaining our expertise in this field and why we’re building this brand.
We can ask for their email address to share the book with them. When they enter their email address, we’ll send them this ebook.
After first email with the ebook, we can send a few more emails with easy to digest information about chemicals.
This will create an expertise image on our target customers and start to create a bond with them. Not a bad start, right?
At the same time we can use this content on our social media, right? Quick videos, infographics and posts about the chemicals in the baby clothes.
After getting a few thousands subscribers we can organize a webinar to answer questions. This will also a great content for re-used social media content and creating trust and expert image.
Then we can share a time-limited promotion with this people for a bundle. Like we’re running a campaign and these 5 chemical free baby clothes bundles 10% discounted until next week!
We can send emails about it and use this campaign for remarketing for only people who show interest in our e-book and webinar.
This is a very brief template of marketing plan.
Now let’s take a look at more common one.
- Post product photos on social media with lot’s of hashtags
- Run a Meta campaign without any targeting, land people on product detail page
- Give them WELCOME10 discount if they enter their email address
- Send them 15 emails in the next 5 days to maximize your sales.
Don’t forget that marketing strategy is not a hope. It’s a well documented plan of actions designed for turning strangers into customers.
Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
Inside the marketing strategy, channels plays a vital role. There are lot’s of ways to group channels. I’ll use most basic one.Inbound Marketing Channels: With the inbound marketing your customers will find you and start the interaction. Most common channel for inbound marketing is organic search engine optimization.
After creating high quality content, when customers search something online, they can see your articles and first interaction happens.
Outbound Marketing Channels: With the outbound marketing you reach out to customers. Facebook/Instagram/YouTube ads, influencer marketing, display ads, podcast ads can be count in this category.
As you can imagine inbound marketing channels takes lot’s of efforts and time however over the time you’ll have organic marketing channel and it brings you customer without needing any budget.
Outbound marketing channels generally works with advertisement models and you need budgets to run these channels.
Most of time I recommend to start with outbound marketing channels and then invest inbound marketing channels overtime. Don’t forget to check Mastering Paid Ads For Shopify post.
Succesful marketing plans should be supported by high converting growth and conversion plans. Don’t forget to check Growth Guide For Shopify and Conversion Optimization Guide For Shopify too.
to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn
- Definition of Marketing
- Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
- Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
- Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
- Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
- Marketing Plan Template
- FAQs
Definition of Marketing
American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. SourceWhat do you see here?
- Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
- Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
- In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.
Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.
Market Research
How can we do the market research?Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.
Competitor Analysis
When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.Now it’s time to analyze them.
- Checkout their branding strategy.
- What are their value propositions?
- What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
- What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
- What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
- Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
- What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
- What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.
Define Your Target Market
What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics
- Age: 25-45 years old
- Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
- Education: College degree or higher
- Income: $75,000+ per household
- Location: Urban areas
- Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents
- Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
- Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
- Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
- Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
- Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price
- Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
- Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
- Wants to make sustainable choices for their children
- High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
- Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
- A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability
- Researches products online before making a purchase
- Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
- Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
- Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.
Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.
- Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
- Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
- Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
- Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.
Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.
Go-to-Market Strategy
Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;
- Free shipping until X date.
- 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.
Marketing Strategy
This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
This article first published at MarketingLib.
Don't forget to check Growth Suite on Shopify App Store.
2024.05.14 09:16 Alkyanne [A4F] I'll get the groceries! [Established relationship] [Personality switch] [2 speaker in a way] [Supermarket] [Shopping anxiety]
Author’s note : Everything’s free to use and monetize or paywall as you wish, just remember to credit me please. As I’m not a native English speaker, you can feel free to make slight changes to make it better, as long as it doesn’t change the whole story of course.
Summary, listener’s perspective : Your partner went grocery shopping a long time ago and you’re calling them to check up on them. Apparently a lot of things happened and stressed them a little too much, but they got help and they’ll finish it to prove to you they can handle it.
[ ] = stage directions
** = sound effects
[The speaker is at the supermarket wandering around, feel free to put crowd sounds, riding the cart etc… through all the script]
*Phone ringing\*
Uhm… Hello? Who is this?
You should be mistaken, I don’t have a girlfriend.
Yes. That’s my name. How… Oh. Wait. Did I… ?
Ah fuck…
Yes, we’re fine Ma’am. Don’t sound so worried.
I understand but…
Ma’am…
Oh! Shut up for a minute!
Too many questions. So, I don’t know. I guess we’re shopping since I have a cart in front of me and we seem to be… In a supermarket..
Yeah, so why are you asking if you already know we were supposed to go grocery shopping!
Whatever… No, I don’t know which one… They’re all the same honestly… Let me walk around to see if I can identify something…
[Speaker is walking around for a few second without saying anything]
…
[Speaker is stopping, they tone changed]
Hello?
Hi baby!! How are you doing? Why are you calling? Or did I call you?
Oh you did? Why?
Yes, it’s me. What’s wrong?
Oh… Really?
I’m sorry. But it’s fine, I promise.
I know baby but…
Why do you want to come? I can do this!
No I mean alone! I prepared a list and all, I can’t forget anything!
Uhm… wait.. Let me search for it…
[Speaker is searching in their bag]
Where did I put it…
Damn..
[Speaker is getting quieter]
…
[Back to the first tone of voice]
Ok. Ma’am. I don’t know where we are, really.. But it’ll be fine. We’re just going to finish this and go back home.
A list? Yes, I have one in my hand, it’s alright, please calm down.
I know, I can sense them around, they’re not far. It’s alright.
Oh god…
Ok… Toilet paper… Sexy…
Where is that…
[Speaker is walking again, searching for the stuff on the list]
Uhm… Ok, there we are… That’s done and then some soap…
Well, I’m staying with you on the phone because you seem completely panicked. So I’m showing you we got this.
Look… I don’t know what exactly happened that triggered it… But we’re alone in a big space full of strangers. Doing something important. I’m guessing that it’s a lot of stress for them and they needed me… It’ll be alright though.
Yeah, of course they’ll tell you they can do it. I’m sure they believe they can. And I’m sure they wanted to impress you and make you proud. But sometimes it’s fine to ask for help too.
Not like that! You don’t have to come, I’m here now. I got this. You don’t even know where we are. And you’re not going to come with your car. Have you not seen the price for gas?
I might not be around often but I keep an eye on the news.
Why do we need so many strawberries?
Uhm… I’m taking bananas too, I like that better.
[Speaker is getting quiet again, just walking]
…
[Change of tone, back to the partner one]
Baby? Are you here?
Yes, it’s me, I’m back. How did the cart fill itself?
Who?
Ohhh… But.. I could have.. I can do it!
I… There was this lady… She was searching for something and asked me. I didn’t know… I don’t know this place very well…
I don’t know why I didn’t go to the usual place!
Oh wait… They were out of gas! To put on the car. Did you see the price now?!
Oh… ok…
They might have seen it then… Yeah… I guess.. It was stressful because I didn’t know what to do. Where to go.. To get it.
Oh. I continued driving for a while… Because I… kinda froze. And I couldn’t park to look with the gps where to go… Well.. I could have! But.. Brain was silly and I couldn’t do it..
After a while I saw a sign for another supermarket and I followed it. I guess that’s where I am now.
What’s that noise?
Baby! It’s alright! You don’t have to come! I can do it! Especially if I’m not alone anymore. I mean.. I have help, we’ll do this!
I swear! There are not many more things on the list anyway. We can do this!
Wait… Why are there bananas here? I don’t like them. I’m going to put it back.
[Speaker is walking back to the fruits to put the bananas back!]
Alright. That’s done. So what’s left?
Some juices… It's on the other way. What else? Eggs, butter…
Ok! Let’s go!
It should be around here… Yes, got it! Then… That shouldn’t be far…
[Speaker is switching again]
…
Uhm… What the hell… Why am I here… What’s on the list? Eggs… How many… Hey! Ma’am? Still here?
Good, how many eggs do you want?
Alright, I got them.. What’s left? Juices… It’s on the other side… Wait! Where are my bananas!
I don’t care if they don’t like them! I do! I front sometimes! I can have things I like too! That’s not cool to only think of themselves!
I mean… That’s a fair point… But… I can’t know when I’ll be here! I’m here now.. And I want bananas…
What if I just took 1 or 2? Not too much, won’t be expensive!
Thank you, you’re kind. Crazy. But kind.
Have you not seen how you reacted earlier?! You *are* crazy!
I told you we’re fine. I bet they told you too. Have a little faith in us.
Yeah yeah… I understand… But honestly, we’ll tell you if it was that bad. We’re handling it quite well so far. Yes, a moment was overwhelming. And I had to come. But now we’re doing well.
Oh by the way! How do we pay? By card?
Do you know the code? In case that’s me in front when we’re at the checkout…
Alright, noted.
No not really, like in my head.
Really girl… I can memorize 4 digits!
Alright, alright… Give me a minute..
[Searching in the bag to get a pen and a piece of paper]
…
[Back to the partner tone]
I’m listening…
Uhm…. Baby, I know the code of my own card… Why do you want me to write it down?
Oh… Well, I just have the juices to get now. I think it’ll be fine.
Yeah… I’ll write it down anyway, just in case. I’m putting it on my right pocket, ok? You’ll tell them if they’re here and search for it?
Thank you baby. And…. I’m sorry about this… I wanted to do this…
I don’t know… To prove I’m capable..
I know. I am but it was just… A little too much I guess… I don’t think it would have happened if I could have gone to our usual place…
It’s alright though! I’ve got the juices! I have everything now. I’m going to the checkout and I’m coming home.
I’ll have to hang up while I’m paying.
Yes, I’ll call you back right after.
I promise. You’re the one who will call me if I don’t anyway!
Yeah, if you have to that means it’s probably not me on the other end…
But I’m not far away, baby, I’m not leaving. It was just too much for one time…
Oh yes, I’d love that! Thank you!
Yes yes! I’ll hurry up!
Love you too baby!
submitted by Alkyanne to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
Summary, listener’s perspective : Your partner went grocery shopping a long time ago and you’re calling them to check up on them. Apparently a lot of things happened and stressed them a little too much, but they got help and they’ll finish it to prove to you they can handle it.
[ ] = stage directions
** = sound effects
[The speaker is at the supermarket wandering around, feel free to put crowd sounds, riding the cart etc… through all the script]
*Phone ringing\*
Uhm… Hello? Who is this?
You should be mistaken, I don’t have a girlfriend.
Yes. That’s my name. How… Oh. Wait. Did I… ?
Ah fuck…
Yes, we’re fine Ma’am. Don’t sound so worried.
I understand but…
Ma’am…
Oh! Shut up for a minute!
Too many questions. So, I don’t know. I guess we’re shopping since I have a cart in front of me and we seem to be… In a supermarket..
Yeah, so why are you asking if you already know we were supposed to go grocery shopping!
Whatever… No, I don’t know which one… They’re all the same honestly… Let me walk around to see if I can identify something…
[Speaker is walking around for a few second without saying anything]
…
[Speaker is stopping, they tone changed]
Hello?
Hi baby!! How are you doing? Why are you calling? Or did I call you?
Oh you did? Why?
Yes, it’s me. What’s wrong?
Oh… Really?
I’m sorry. But it’s fine, I promise.
I know baby but…
Why do you want to come? I can do this!
No I mean alone! I prepared a list and all, I can’t forget anything!
Uhm… wait.. Let me search for it…
[Speaker is searching in their bag]
Where did I put it…
Damn..
[Speaker is getting quieter]
…
[Back to the first tone of voice]
Ok. Ma’am. I don’t know where we are, really.. But it’ll be fine. We’re just going to finish this and go back home.
A list? Yes, I have one in my hand, it’s alright, please calm down.
I know, I can sense them around, they’re not far. It’s alright.
Oh god…
Ok… Toilet paper… Sexy…
Where is that…
[Speaker is walking again, searching for the stuff on the list]
Uhm… Ok, there we are… That’s done and then some soap…
Well, I’m staying with you on the phone because you seem completely panicked. So I’m showing you we got this.
Look… I don’t know what exactly happened that triggered it… But we’re alone in a big space full of strangers. Doing something important. I’m guessing that it’s a lot of stress for them and they needed me… It’ll be alright though.
Yeah, of course they’ll tell you they can do it. I’m sure they believe they can. And I’m sure they wanted to impress you and make you proud. But sometimes it’s fine to ask for help too.
Not like that! You don’t have to come, I’m here now. I got this. You don’t even know where we are. And you’re not going to come with your car. Have you not seen the price for gas?
I might not be around often but I keep an eye on the news.
Why do we need so many strawberries?
Uhm… I’m taking bananas too, I like that better.
[Speaker is getting quiet again, just walking]
…
[Change of tone, back to the partner one]
Baby? Are you here?
Yes, it’s me, I’m back. How did the cart fill itself?
Who?
Ohhh… But.. I could have.. I can do it!
I… There was this lady… She was searching for something and asked me. I didn’t know… I don’t know this place very well…
I don’t know why I didn’t go to the usual place!
Oh wait… They were out of gas! To put on the car. Did you see the price now?!
Oh… ok…
They might have seen it then… Yeah… I guess.. It was stressful because I didn’t know what to do. Where to go.. To get it.
Oh. I continued driving for a while… Because I… kinda froze. And I couldn’t park to look with the gps where to go… Well.. I could have! But.. Brain was silly and I couldn’t do it..
After a while I saw a sign for another supermarket and I followed it. I guess that’s where I am now.
What’s that noise?
Baby! It’s alright! You don’t have to come! I can do it! Especially if I’m not alone anymore. I mean.. I have help, we’ll do this!
I swear! There are not many more things on the list anyway. We can do this!
Wait… Why are there bananas here? I don’t like them. I’m going to put it back.
[Speaker is walking back to the fruits to put the bananas back!]
Alright. That’s done. So what’s left?
Some juices… It's on the other way. What else? Eggs, butter…
Ok! Let’s go!
It should be around here… Yes, got it! Then… That shouldn’t be far…
[Speaker is switching again]
…
Uhm… What the hell… Why am I here… What’s on the list? Eggs… How many… Hey! Ma’am? Still here?
Good, how many eggs do you want?
Alright, I got them.. What’s left? Juices… It’s on the other side… Wait! Where are my bananas!
I don’t care if they don’t like them! I do! I front sometimes! I can have things I like too! That’s not cool to only think of themselves!
I mean… That’s a fair point… But… I can’t know when I’ll be here! I’m here now.. And I want bananas…
What if I just took 1 or 2? Not too much, won’t be expensive!
Thank you, you’re kind. Crazy. But kind.
Have you not seen how you reacted earlier?! You *are* crazy!
I told you we’re fine. I bet they told you too. Have a little faith in us.
Yeah yeah… I understand… But honestly, we’ll tell you if it was that bad. We’re handling it quite well so far. Yes, a moment was overwhelming. And I had to come. But now we’re doing well.
Oh by the way! How do we pay? By card?
Do you know the code? In case that’s me in front when we’re at the checkout…
Alright, noted.
No not really, like in my head.
Really girl… I can memorize 4 digits!
Alright, alright… Give me a minute..
[Searching in the bag to get a pen and a piece of paper]
…
[Back to the partner tone]
I’m listening…
Uhm…. Baby, I know the code of my own card… Why do you want me to write it down?
Oh… Well, I just have the juices to get now. I think it’ll be fine.
Yeah… I’ll write it down anyway, just in case. I’m putting it on my right pocket, ok? You’ll tell them if they’re here and search for it?
Thank you baby. And…. I’m sorry about this… I wanted to do this…
I don’t know… To prove I’m capable..
I know. I am but it was just… A little too much I guess… I don’t think it would have happened if I could have gone to our usual place…
It’s alright though! I’ve got the juices! I have everything now. I’m going to the checkout and I’m coming home.
I’ll have to hang up while I’m paying.
Yes, I’ll call you back right after.
I promise. You’re the one who will call me if I don’t anyway!
Yeah, if you have to that means it’s probably not me on the other end…
But I’m not far away, baby, I’m not leaving. It was just too much for one time…
Oh yes, I’d love that! Thank you!
Yes yes! I’ll hurry up!
Love you too baby!
2024.05.14 08:33 McComfortable I'm in serious need of help and it feels like it's too late for me
I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.
submitted by McComfortable to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.
2024.05.14 03:21 thisfornsfwww Recovery after anaphylaxis/ stroke
Very long post so I apologize, I just want to establish the timeline to give as much information as I can.
I’m looking for some alternate opinions and ideas.
Rottweiler, nearly 5 years old, 90~ pounds, active and in shape.
April 17/18, she was bit on her face by a snake while on a hike (there’s three kinds of venomous snakes in my area), presumably a copperhead as I did not see or hear a rattle, and I only saw that it was brown (the other venomous species is black). My other two dogs were there, and the first priority was to get all of them away, and assess the situation more.
She was very clearly in pain, so she was rushed to the emergency vet. She was given anti venom, an overnight stay, and returned home the next day. For the next week, she was given painkillers three times a day, some antibiotics, all of which she finished. She returned to normal and was back swimming in the pool and running around.
May 8th I notice her panting a lot, wanting outside and not acting like herself. Upon physically examining her, she had what is best described as a soft but large lump on her neck. I decided to take her to her normal vet.
I told him that she had just recently (a couple weeks ago) been bitten by a snake, and after shaving and examining the lump, he suspected she was bit again as there was certainly a puncture wound. He asked permission to give her a dose of anti venom, and I asked if there are risks involved if it wasn’t a snake bite, or if she didn’t need it, would there be any complications. He assured me there would not be, they’ll administer it, monitor her, and keep her overnight so I gave the okay and went home with her in their care.
He called back a couple hours later, well after closing and he said that I should come back to the vet. She had apparently went into anaphylactic shock and had a stroke after receiving the anti venom. He said that it was a very rare case, as when you give dogs anti venom and monitor them, if certain levels start to rise you just stop giving it to them and the effects reverse before they reach dangerous levels. She apparently had the reaction immediately. I transferred her to an overnight vet which was an experience in itself, as carrying her to my vehicle was not pleasant.. she had no control over her bowls and had a poop/blood mixture coming out of her almost constantly. The overnight vet took her in, I picked her up in the morning to go back to the regular vet per their request. She was obviously very disoriented because of the medications she was on (or, her reaction too) so she had to be carried to/from and her mood was very “dull”.
She stays overnight again, and on Friday I think it’s all good to pick her up. The vet asks to keep her again over the weekend this time, free of charge, to continue to monitor her and make sure she’s getting her fluids.
Today, may 13th I get the go ahead to pick her up. The vet says he’s covering her entire visit which is of course nice.. she’s eating and drinking fine, but she’s having difficulty walking. Instead of her paws going flat and walking, her paws buckle forward (imagine trying to walk on the back of your hand rather than your palm) causing her to stumble.
She was carried into my vehicle and we went home. I lifted her out of the vehicle and set her down, and difficulty walking was certainly an understatement. She maybe took one step before I carried her inside and put her in a closed off living room.
Another thing I would like to note: I gave her a little bit of water in a bowl, and she would lick it maybe once and do something that I’m probably going to have difficulty describing.. imagine you have a popcorn kernel stuck on the back of your tongue and you kind of.. try to rub the back of your tongue against the roof of your mouth to dislodge it. Something stuck in the back of your mouth and you’re trying to remove it without coughing / hands etc. she does that, but quite dramatically. Puts her head down and uses her paw to rub her face while doing the tongue thing. Seemingly no problem eating though - I got her some fresh raw food rather than her kibble and she ate it without issue. She stood up to eat (after I adjusted her paw) and ate it all.
I’ve done a lot in trying to snake proof my back yard, though the area is large. I’ve went out with my dogs every time they’ve been out since and will continue to do so.
So now, my questions:
How long should I wait to try any physical therapy for her, or is that even recommended? If so, what kind of PT? My idea was to put her harness on and kind of lift her up a little and try to get her to walk
The water thing, any thoughts or just give it some time?
Any specific supplements, foods etc she should be having?
Was this a result of negligence on all parts, or just a freak reaction?
Open to any other advice, very much appreciated too. Thank you.
submitted by thisfornsfwww to AskVet [link] [comments]
I’m looking for some alternate opinions and ideas.
Rottweiler, nearly 5 years old, 90~ pounds, active and in shape.
April 17/18, she was bit on her face by a snake while on a hike (there’s three kinds of venomous snakes in my area), presumably a copperhead as I did not see or hear a rattle, and I only saw that it was brown (the other venomous species is black). My other two dogs were there, and the first priority was to get all of them away, and assess the situation more.
She was very clearly in pain, so she was rushed to the emergency vet. She was given anti venom, an overnight stay, and returned home the next day. For the next week, she was given painkillers three times a day, some antibiotics, all of which she finished. She returned to normal and was back swimming in the pool and running around.
May 8th I notice her panting a lot, wanting outside and not acting like herself. Upon physically examining her, she had what is best described as a soft but large lump on her neck. I decided to take her to her normal vet.
I told him that she had just recently (a couple weeks ago) been bitten by a snake, and after shaving and examining the lump, he suspected she was bit again as there was certainly a puncture wound. He asked permission to give her a dose of anti venom, and I asked if there are risks involved if it wasn’t a snake bite, or if she didn’t need it, would there be any complications. He assured me there would not be, they’ll administer it, monitor her, and keep her overnight so I gave the okay and went home with her in their care.
He called back a couple hours later, well after closing and he said that I should come back to the vet. She had apparently went into anaphylactic shock and had a stroke after receiving the anti venom. He said that it was a very rare case, as when you give dogs anti venom and monitor them, if certain levels start to rise you just stop giving it to them and the effects reverse before they reach dangerous levels. She apparently had the reaction immediately. I transferred her to an overnight vet which was an experience in itself, as carrying her to my vehicle was not pleasant.. she had no control over her bowls and had a poop/blood mixture coming out of her almost constantly. The overnight vet took her in, I picked her up in the morning to go back to the regular vet per their request. She was obviously very disoriented because of the medications she was on (or, her reaction too) so she had to be carried to/from and her mood was very “dull”.
She stays overnight again, and on Friday I think it’s all good to pick her up. The vet asks to keep her again over the weekend this time, free of charge, to continue to monitor her and make sure she’s getting her fluids.
Today, may 13th I get the go ahead to pick her up. The vet says he’s covering her entire visit which is of course nice.. she’s eating and drinking fine, but she’s having difficulty walking. Instead of her paws going flat and walking, her paws buckle forward (imagine trying to walk on the back of your hand rather than your palm) causing her to stumble.
She was carried into my vehicle and we went home. I lifted her out of the vehicle and set her down, and difficulty walking was certainly an understatement. She maybe took one step before I carried her inside and put her in a closed off living room.
Another thing I would like to note: I gave her a little bit of water in a bowl, and she would lick it maybe once and do something that I’m probably going to have difficulty describing.. imagine you have a popcorn kernel stuck on the back of your tongue and you kind of.. try to rub the back of your tongue against the roof of your mouth to dislodge it. Something stuck in the back of your mouth and you’re trying to remove it without coughing / hands etc. she does that, but quite dramatically. Puts her head down and uses her paw to rub her face while doing the tongue thing. Seemingly no problem eating though - I got her some fresh raw food rather than her kibble and she ate it without issue. She stood up to eat (after I adjusted her paw) and ate it all.
I’ve done a lot in trying to snake proof my back yard, though the area is large. I’ve went out with my dogs every time they’ve been out since and will continue to do so.
So now, my questions:
How long should I wait to try any physical therapy for her, or is that even recommended? If so, what kind of PT? My idea was to put her harness on and kind of lift her up a little and try to get her to walk
The water thing, any thoughts or just give it some time?
Any specific supplements, foods etc she should be having?
Was this a result of negligence on all parts, or just a freak reaction?
Open to any other advice, very much appreciated too. Thank you.
2024.05.14 00:31 Allovertheplace11 Not only did my Family refuse to help me when I needed them, they also tried to get my mom to cut me off. But she threw down an uno reversed instead!
I wrote this party as a form of therapy and partly to have it read on okop. Love you guys!!!! You are all awesome! Especially Sofia! She made the podcast whole!!!
About 2 years ago I couldn’t find a place to live and ran out of money paying to live in air bnbs after moving back to the East cost. I was taken advantage by my cousins, I paid the equivalent of $1800 in work a month for a tiny room to live in while also expected to cook and clean 2 hours a day but I refused to do that part.
I had managed to get out of that situation and get my own 1 bedroom apartment and it cost only $1350 a month. A year later I needed help again. My mom who lives 3000 miles away asked my aunt to help me out. My mom had taken off work to help care for my grandpa so she was strapped for cash. My mom told me that my aunt had her old home still with a friend living there and that she would let me live there. But when I talked to her I was told that “you burnt every bridge when you claimed squatters rights and trashed their home.” I was appalled! And heart broken that people were just believing these lies. I had no idea anyone was even taking about me. I was taken advantage of? That’s how I burnt every bridge?????? So I posted this on Facebook
My cousin and her husband took advantage of me when I needed help. They OFFERED. They were my family. I worked my ass off to be treated like a servant (someone has a birthday in the home? I got him a present then They went out to eat without inviting me because I wasn’t considered family to them) I didn’t say anything. I just did what I was told until it became too much. It’s so sad that his fragile ego couldn’t take my criticism when he ADMITTED without me asking that he was testing me. Apparently a test from a book on war. The test is to see how much someone will sacrifice themselves for you with nothing in return. So I was treated like something to sacrifice not like family. And because I refused to sacrifice everything of myself and when I found out I condemned him for his actions He Literally tried to throw me out on the street. I Worked over 30 hours a week for him for a tiny room, while putting 3,000 miles on my car a month. While paying for my own food. I tried so hard because I thought his intentions were pure. In the end I didn’t complain to anyone about this but my mom and sister. Because I’m not that type of person. It was over. I didn’t want to ever think about it again. But recently I was told that I burned every bridge when I claimed squatters rights. Which didn’t happen. I claimed living rights. I didn’t want to be there but I HAD NO WHERE ELSE TO GO and I was working 30 hours a week for him! I was there for 1 day when I wasn’t working for him before I left. 1 DAY! So I was completely taken advantage and this is how I burned every bridge?? The only thing I did wrong was trusting them. I thought they loved me, I helped raise their children and loved them like my own. He WAS MY ONLY FATHER FIGURE GROWING UP. He knew how I felt about him and he completely took advantage of that. So I’m putting my side out there. Because I didn’t even know that any of them were talking shit to people.
Also important note my mom let her and her husband and 3 young kids live in our house for FREE FOR 4 YESRS!!! 20 years ago.
My mom was able to get my asshole father to pay for a down payment on a car for me to live in by taking the cash without permission lol and telling him the money was for her.
I do instacart for work so I really needed that car. I was going to just try to save enough for a room to rent but decided I was done working paycheck to paycheck. I currently am living in my car while saving every cent I would have spent on rent and utilities.
My mom called me yesterday 2 months after the post on Facebook to tell me how upset she was. She told me that after the Facebook post the whole family started talking about me and how I should be able to take care of myself by now. Even though they have no idea what I’ve been through.
(Necessary context) For years my chronic illness, EDS short for Elhers Danlos syndrome, was really bad. At one point I was completely Bed ridden. My boyfriend of 6 years was amazing and became my full time caregiver while working part time to pay for my pain medication. This went on for about a year. I then found a new doctor that put me on a new medication that changed my life. I was able to brush my hair again! I was able to walk again! I was able to work again! Before this new doctor I was looking into getting a wheel chair and filing for disability! Everything was perfect for a few months. Then my bf developed schizophrenia. We were living with my mom for all of this. With in a few months I went from being taken care of by my bf to being his full time caregiver. It took him about 1.5 years to stabilize. Though all this we were working doordash and instacart because neither of us could keep a full time job. When we moved out of my moms place back to the East cost we thought we could just keep working gig jobs but after the pandemic people wanted to go out to eat and shop for themselves. We tried to get real jobs but with out any recent regular work history or references it was really hard. On top of that any job I could get was either part time or lied to me about being full time!! That is the gist of our problems with paying for a place to live.
So back to the main story. My mom told me that her 6 siblings were contacting her one by one to tell her to cut me off. (She had been helping me financially as much as she could for years now) There was a reason my mom lives 3000 miles away and it was to get away from these assholes. The only reason she had contact with them was to coordinate care for my grandfather. Until recently I thought at least some of them were good people. They told her that I was almost 30 years and should be able to care for myself. I had never received help from any of these people! And only ever asked for help from one of them once! I didn’t understand why any of them even cared. Did I make them feel some type of way with my post that talked shit about none of them? (Unless calling out someone for talking shit is talking shit) it’s not like she had been giving me money instead of any of them. The 2nd Best part of the story is the hypocrisy. 3 my cousins, all from different parents, still live with their parents! And they’re all older then me! But no one has a problem with that? My mom asked her brother why it was ok that his daughter was still living with him? My uncle said it was because she has 3 children. My mom then asked him why she should abandon me for not having children I couldn’t afford? Great burn mom! Now this is the best part!! After telling me all of this she says that she wants to pay off my car for me. I was going to wind up paying 20 grand for a 10 grand car because of my lack of credit. So I guess thank you to everyone that told her to cut me off! Because it has only seem to inspire her to help me more!!!
Ps: my mom is writing a book that already has 3 publishers trying to sign her! Exposing all the reasons she moved across the county to get away from all of them. Go her!!!
submitted by Allovertheplace11 to okopshow [link] [comments]
About 2 years ago I couldn’t find a place to live and ran out of money paying to live in air bnbs after moving back to the East cost. I was taken advantage by my cousins, I paid the equivalent of $1800 in work a month for a tiny room to live in while also expected to cook and clean 2 hours a day but I refused to do that part.
I had managed to get out of that situation and get my own 1 bedroom apartment and it cost only $1350 a month. A year later I needed help again. My mom who lives 3000 miles away asked my aunt to help me out. My mom had taken off work to help care for my grandpa so she was strapped for cash. My mom told me that my aunt had her old home still with a friend living there and that she would let me live there. But when I talked to her I was told that “you burnt every bridge when you claimed squatters rights and trashed their home.” I was appalled! And heart broken that people were just believing these lies. I had no idea anyone was even taking about me. I was taken advantage of? That’s how I burnt every bridge?????? So I posted this on Facebook
My cousin and her husband took advantage of me when I needed help. They OFFERED. They were my family. I worked my ass off to be treated like a servant (someone has a birthday in the home? I got him a present then They went out to eat without inviting me because I wasn’t considered family to them) I didn’t say anything. I just did what I was told until it became too much. It’s so sad that his fragile ego couldn’t take my criticism when he ADMITTED without me asking that he was testing me. Apparently a test from a book on war. The test is to see how much someone will sacrifice themselves for you with nothing in return. So I was treated like something to sacrifice not like family. And because I refused to sacrifice everything of myself and when I found out I condemned him for his actions He Literally tried to throw me out on the street. I Worked over 30 hours a week for him for a tiny room, while putting 3,000 miles on my car a month. While paying for my own food. I tried so hard because I thought his intentions were pure. In the end I didn’t complain to anyone about this but my mom and sister. Because I’m not that type of person. It was over. I didn’t want to ever think about it again. But recently I was told that I burned every bridge when I claimed squatters rights. Which didn’t happen. I claimed living rights. I didn’t want to be there but I HAD NO WHERE ELSE TO GO and I was working 30 hours a week for him! I was there for 1 day when I wasn’t working for him before I left. 1 DAY! So I was completely taken advantage and this is how I burned every bridge?? The only thing I did wrong was trusting them. I thought they loved me, I helped raise their children and loved them like my own. He WAS MY ONLY FATHER FIGURE GROWING UP. He knew how I felt about him and he completely took advantage of that. So I’m putting my side out there. Because I didn’t even know that any of them were talking shit to people.
Also important note my mom let her and her husband and 3 young kids live in our house for FREE FOR 4 YESRS!!! 20 years ago.
My mom was able to get my asshole father to pay for a down payment on a car for me to live in by taking the cash without permission lol and telling him the money was for her.
I do instacart for work so I really needed that car. I was going to just try to save enough for a room to rent but decided I was done working paycheck to paycheck. I currently am living in my car while saving every cent I would have spent on rent and utilities.
My mom called me yesterday 2 months after the post on Facebook to tell me how upset she was. She told me that after the Facebook post the whole family started talking about me and how I should be able to take care of myself by now. Even though they have no idea what I’ve been through.
(Necessary context) For years my chronic illness, EDS short for Elhers Danlos syndrome, was really bad. At one point I was completely Bed ridden. My boyfriend of 6 years was amazing and became my full time caregiver while working part time to pay for my pain medication. This went on for about a year. I then found a new doctor that put me on a new medication that changed my life. I was able to brush my hair again! I was able to walk again! I was able to work again! Before this new doctor I was looking into getting a wheel chair and filing for disability! Everything was perfect for a few months. Then my bf developed schizophrenia. We were living with my mom for all of this. With in a few months I went from being taken care of by my bf to being his full time caregiver. It took him about 1.5 years to stabilize. Though all this we were working doordash and instacart because neither of us could keep a full time job. When we moved out of my moms place back to the East cost we thought we could just keep working gig jobs but after the pandemic people wanted to go out to eat and shop for themselves. We tried to get real jobs but with out any recent regular work history or references it was really hard. On top of that any job I could get was either part time or lied to me about being full time!! That is the gist of our problems with paying for a place to live.
So back to the main story. My mom told me that her 6 siblings were contacting her one by one to tell her to cut me off. (She had been helping me financially as much as she could for years now) There was a reason my mom lives 3000 miles away and it was to get away from these assholes. The only reason she had contact with them was to coordinate care for my grandfather. Until recently I thought at least some of them were good people. They told her that I was almost 30 years and should be able to care for myself. I had never received help from any of these people! And only ever asked for help from one of them once! I didn’t understand why any of them even cared. Did I make them feel some type of way with my post that talked shit about none of them? (Unless calling out someone for talking shit is talking shit) it’s not like she had been giving me money instead of any of them. The 2nd Best part of the story is the hypocrisy. 3 my cousins, all from different parents, still live with their parents! And they’re all older then me! But no one has a problem with that? My mom asked her brother why it was ok that his daughter was still living with him? My uncle said it was because she has 3 children. My mom then asked him why she should abandon me for not having children I couldn’t afford? Great burn mom! Now this is the best part!! After telling me all of this she says that she wants to pay off my car for me. I was going to wind up paying 20 grand for a 10 grand car because of my lack of credit. So I guess thank you to everyone that told her to cut me off! Because it has only seem to inspire her to help me more!!!
Ps: my mom is writing a book that already has 3 publishers trying to sign her! Exposing all the reasons she moved across the county to get away from all of them. Go her!!!
2024.05.13 23:56 juliaxyz 8 year old male - abdominal pain since February
Son 8.5 M, 45 lbs has abdominal pain since February. He doesn't go to school and stays in bed most of the time. It happened before but not as severe and went away after a month or so. We realize we need to wait longer for Amitripltyne to work but we are concened that he has rear good days (hours) and in bed most of the time. Normally he is a bright, fun and social boy and now doesn't leave his bed. Could this be something not tested for?
Current Outpatient Medications
famotidine 40 MG/5ML Recon susp - Take 2 mL (16 mg) by mouth at bedtime
gabapentin (Neurontin) 250 MG/5ML Solution Take 3 mL (150 mg) by mouth twice a day
8.5 years old has been constipating for many years. He has been diagnosed with encopresis in 2021. Ever since he was diagnosed with encopresis He was on MiraLAX .5 to .75 cup twice a day. This helped him to control his constipation. During all this time except for approximately a few weeks he was soiling his pants almost daily. He was also frequently complaining about abdominal pain. Per doctor’s recommendation we were reminding him to sit on the toilet after each meal. Feeding him with homemade meals and we try to limit processed food. We did physical therapy and psychologist therapy. He has a toilet foot stool and seat.
About 1 year ago (January 2023), a bowel cleanup was performed per Max’s pediatrician recommendations. One cupful of MiraLAX was given every 3 hours. (No fasting or clear food diet was recommended)
During that time evacuated lots of poops with diarrhea content. We did not achieve the yellow fluid and stopped after a couple of days. Since this cleanup Max experienced severe abdominal pain for about a month.
Per GI doctor recommendation, we were no longer doing cleanup to avoid severe abdominal pain. Instead, Max was back on his MiraLAX dose .75 cup twice a day with fiber gummies 4mg a day.
He has good apetite most of the time, except after a dose of Exlax. His stool was always help soft over these years.
Notes from GI visit April 22nd - Today he has more guarding, mild distension and tenderness. I can't tell if he has a surgical abdomen (ie volvulus, appendicitis) but it is not associated with vomiting or eating. His most likely diagnosis is abdominal migraines (abdominal pain and headaches) and anxiety at this point, but the pattern has been consistent without as much good days. Activity makes him worse, and we have considered ACNES as well. He has had multiple cleanouts, and the periodic soiling could be from inattentiveness. Perhaps this is from constipation, but should rule out surgical abdomen at this time. We had a long conversation today about abdominal migraines, but upon repeat exam, it is still quite guarded. Pain is daily / off and on. Has had 2 good days in last 3 weeks Appetite is good except when pain is high. No vomiting. Stooling daily with miralax. Sleeping well.
UPPER Endoscopy Diagnosis
A. Duodenum, mucosal biopsy:- Duodenal mucosa with no pathologic change. B. Duodenum, bulb, mucosal biopsy:- Duodenal mucosa with a small lamina propria lymphoid aggregate. C. Stomach, antrum/body, mucosal biopsy: - Antral-and oxyntic-type gastric mucosa with focal features of mild reactive (chemical) gastropathy. D. Esophagus, distal, mucosal biopsy: - Squamous epithelium with rare intraepithelial eosinophils (up to 2 per high-power field). E. Esophagus, proximal, mucosal biopsy:- Squamous epithelium with rare intraepithelial eosinophils (up to 1 per high-power field).
The overall findings are nonspecific. The esophageal findings do not meet threshold numerical criteria for a diagnosis of eosinophilic esophagitis. Reflux related changes are favored. Clinical correlation is recommended.
Blood tests - Collection date: April 30, 2024 11:08 AM
Lactase 13.9 Normal value: >=14.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Sucrase 51.0 Normal value: >=19.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Maltase 201.3 Normal value: >=70.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Palatinase 15.8 Normal value: >=6.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Glucoamylase 24.2 Normal value: >=8.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
submitted by juliaxyz to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Current Outpatient Medications
famotidine 40 MG/5ML Recon susp - Take 2 mL (16 mg) by mouth at bedtime
gabapentin (Neurontin) 250 MG/5ML Solution Take 3 mL (150 mg) by mouth twice a day
hyoscyamine 0.125 MG Tab - does not help
amitriptyline 10 mg Tab - full dosage started May 2nd, makes him agressive
Medical History Summary:8.5 years old has been constipating for many years. He has been diagnosed with encopresis in 2021. Ever since he was diagnosed with encopresis He was on MiraLAX .5 to .75 cup twice a day. This helped him to control his constipation. During all this time except for approximately a few weeks he was soiling his pants almost daily. He was also frequently complaining about abdominal pain. Per doctor’s recommendation we were reminding him to sit on the toilet after each meal. Feeding him with homemade meals and we try to limit processed food. We did physical therapy and psychologist therapy. He has a toilet foot stool and seat.
About 1 year ago (January 2023), a bowel cleanup was performed per Max’s pediatrician recommendations. One cupful of MiraLAX was given every 3 hours. (No fasting or clear food diet was recommended)
During that time evacuated lots of poops with diarrhea content. We did not achieve the yellow fluid and stopped after a couple of days. Since this cleanup Max experienced severe abdominal pain for about a month.
Per GI doctor recommendation, we were no longer doing cleanup to avoid severe abdominal pain. Instead, Max was back on his MiraLAX dose .75 cup twice a day with fiber gummies 4mg a day.
He has good apetite most of the time, except after a dose of Exlax. His stool was always help soft over these years.
Notes from GI visit April 22nd - Today he has more guarding, mild distension and tenderness. I can't tell if he has a surgical abdomen (ie volvulus, appendicitis) but it is not associated with vomiting or eating. His most likely diagnosis is abdominal migraines (abdominal pain and headaches) and anxiety at this point, but the pattern has been consistent without as much good days. Activity makes him worse, and we have considered ACNES as well. He has had multiple cleanouts, and the periodic soiling could be from inattentiveness. Perhaps this is from constipation, but should rule out surgical abdomen at this time. We had a long conversation today about abdominal migraines, but upon repeat exam, it is still quite guarded. Pain is daily / off and on. Has had 2 good days in last 3 weeks Appetite is good except when pain is high. No vomiting. Stooling daily with miralax. Sleeping well.
UPPER Endoscopy Diagnosis
A. Duodenum, mucosal biopsy:- Duodenal mucosa with no pathologic change. B. Duodenum, bulb, mucosal biopsy:- Duodenal mucosa with a small lamina propria lymphoid aggregate. C. Stomach, antrum/body, mucosal biopsy: - Antral-and oxyntic-type gastric mucosa with focal features of mild reactive (chemical) gastropathy. D. Esophagus, distal, mucosal biopsy: - Squamous epithelium with rare intraepithelial eosinophils (up to 2 per high-power field). E. Esophagus, proximal, mucosal biopsy:- Squamous epithelium with rare intraepithelial eosinophils (up to 1 per high-power field).
The overall findings are nonspecific. The esophageal findings do not meet threshold numerical criteria for a diagnosis of eosinophilic esophagitis. Reflux related changes are favored. Clinical correlation is recommended.
CT ABDOMEN PELVIS W CONTRAST
Narrative
IMPRESSION:Normal appendix. No CT evidence of inflammatory changes in the abdomen or pelvis. Moderate stool burden in the colon.NarrativeINDICATION: o appendicitis/abscess - GI requesting CT d/t guarding/distensionEXAMINATION: CT ABDOMEN AND PELVIS WITH CONTRAST - CT Abdomen And Pelvis W/ Contrast InjectionTECHNIQUE: Multiple axial images were obtained of the abdomen and pelvis following IV contrast. A radiation dose optimizationtechnique was used for this scan. DLP: 29.8 , CTDI vol: 0.63IV Contrast dosage and agent: 63 mL of Isovue 300Oral contrast: Administered.COMPARISON: None.____________________________________________FINDINGS:LOWER CHEST: Lung bases are clear without any infiltrate. No pleural effusion noted. There is no cardiomegaly or pericardialeffusion.LIVER: The liver has a homogeneous density. No focal masses noted. There is no intrahepatic biliary ductal dilatation.GALLBLADDER AND BILIARY TREE: No calcified gallstones. No gallbladder distension or wall edema. No intra- or extrahepaticbiliary ductal dilation.PANCREAS: No focal cystic or solid mass. There is no pancreatic ductal dilatation or peripancreatic fluid.SPLEEN: Normal size without focal cystic or solid mass.ADRENAL GLANDS: Normal.KIDNEYS AND URETERS: Both kidneys have a normal enhancement without hydronephrosis, renal cysts, masses or perinephric fluid.There is no hydroureter.PERITONEUM: No ascites or free air. No other fluid collection.BOWEL: No abnormal dilatation of the bowel loops is noted. Contrast is noted in several nondilated small bowel loops and in thecolon up to the splenic flexure. Moderate stool noted in the colon, including the rectum. Terminal ileum is visualized andappears normal. A normal caliber partially contrast filled appendix is seen in the right lower quadrant. A few scattered foci ofair also noted in the appendix. No adjacent inflammatory changes are seen. The appendix is best visualized on axial series #2,images 58-69/139.LYMPH NODES: No enlarged mesenteric or retroperitoneal lymph nodes.VESSELS: Vasculature appears normal. No stenosis or aneurysmal dilatation noted.URINARY BLADDER: Appears normal without wall thickening, mass or trabeculations.REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS: No pelvic masses.ABDOMINAL WALL: No discrete abdominal or pelvic wall hernia.BONES: No lytic or blastic abnormality.Blood tests - Collection date: April 30, 2024 11:08 AM
Lactase 13.9 Normal value: >=14.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Sucrase 51.0 Normal value: >=19.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Maltase 201.3 Normal value: >=70.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Palatinase 15.8 Normal value: >=6.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Glucoamylase 24.2 Normal value: >=8.0 nmol/min/mg Prot
Sed Rate 9
Ferritin 24.7
C-Reactive Protein < .5
Lead, Venous, B <.1
White Blood Count 5.98
Hemoglobin 14.7
Mean Cell Volume 81.8
MCHC 34.5
Platelet Count 302
Red Blood Count 5.21
Hematocrit 42.6
MCH 28.2
RDW 12.4
MPV 8.8
Segmented Neutrophils (ABS #) 2.35
Final Absolute Neutrophil Count 2.35
Lymphocytes (ABS #) 3.8
Eosinophils (ABS #) 0.05
Immature Granulocytes (ABS #) 0Monocytes (ABS #) .47
Basophils (ABS #) .03
Add: he has headaches on the right side and sensativity to light, not sure how often but at least several times a week.2024.05.13 23:55 sadallthetimeagain [1127] Moving Right Along
I felt myself getting a little heated in today's CASA group discussions about "trauma." For every 10 times you'll hear that word, "resilience" will come up maybe once. I think most of us are aware of how arm-chairy and buzzworthy trauma and therapy have become. It's one of the latest cultural trends that facilitate a fluidity to presumed-more-informed conversation, without the practice of developing finer lines of understanding and distinction.
On the basis of your invocation of "trauma" you can rush to provide "help" and "services" and begin blaming an incredible amount of "mental health issues" or "unresolved childhoods." It's literally the cliche of a freshman's behavior after enrolling in their first college psychology course on blast. They've already invoked unsubstantiated pseudo-science and pop-culture explicitly not psychology as tools to provide frameworks for understanding your families. When someone infers substance abuse from a story just because the accusation was levied or any kind of drug was referenced at any level, their conclusions or assumptions go unchecked. It's predictably baking a recipe for an unnecessary mess on top of whatever the family is going through.
You can feel the tension every time you speak in "checking" ways. This happens to me routinely. One of the presenters spoke to the biased and incomplete ways that foster parents or aggravated family members might speak to the nature of the case or anyone's character. I pointed out that case managers can leave out details and massage stories to fit their ends as well. That got ignored and we moved right along. It's a real concern, and you need to know how to protect your relationship with someone who might be specifically directed to undermine your effort to advocate with the evidence.
But it doesn't feel "pleasant" or "decent" when you "want to believe the best" about your colleagues. Is it less true? Absolutely not. I was literally forced into that position from predatory supervisors and watched dipshit coworkers skip along those disingenuous lines without hesitation. Anecdotes fawning over better-inclined and capable FCMs do nothing to erase that.
So I started thinking about "discomfort" broadly. Another concept that's been wholesale abused. We needed to be way too on guard for what or whether we said might be a "micro aggression" or would cause someone to feel "unsafe" or "uncomfortable." Again, our pop psychology and propensity to overstate the noisiest out-ragers, made it so critical thinking and doubt became sinful in and of themselves. Facts don't matter in that space. "Being heard" is afforded only if you're claiming victimhood, but then, only victimhood of a certain type. The own-goal that is reactionary politics when you forgo any genuine attempt at taking someone's, almost certainly mostly irrational but nonetheless real, concern seriously is the ongoing consequence we get to suffer.
I think the more you practice observing conversational patterns, word choices, and trends, you can start to see previously "abstract" things considerably more acutely. One thing I notice is a propensity for "moving right along." I don't care what the topic is, there's a "normal" pace and pater that is preferred. Violate that, and it's time to move on. Point out the failings of the people you're supposed to trust most or even ingratiate yourself to? Let's move right along into the next module, as we all know there's nothing much more to say about that.
Another pattern I notice is the "taken aback pause." It's not precisely a reaction to being "offended," but it's a stark enough detail or way of relaying information that who you're speaking with was not prepared to engage that intensely. If they're quick, it'll be a brink-of-condescending acknowledgement before moving-right-along, or if they're not quick, it'll be a placating obfuscating of what you said to "even things out."Again, these are imprecise norms of conversational behavior around the particulars of one culture at one point in time, but they're real and of consequence whether or not you can see them.
When we use the word "bias," we let ourselves off the hook on the myriad ways it manifests. We let "bias" obscure in the opposite way that we let "trauma" obscure. Trauma is abused to over-explain what should be considered a necessary series of responses or consequences. Bias is abused to overlook how deeply it colors your propensity to engage that over-explaining behavior. You are biased, first and foremost, to your subjective experience of reality. In my experience, almost no one is that clued into their own flow of experience. Even the ones that are, or are showing the most growth and evidence, struggle, and will struggle indefinitely. This includes myself.
That's the point, though. You need the struggle to keep your wits about you. You need appropriate stressors against the things that will help you grow and incorporate. By definition, norms put that insistence to the side so we can all find a baseline mutual understanding to move right along down. The more cliched you sound, if you don't have a reflex to pause and pull back, the more you're training yourself to believe and act on "just whatever it is you say." You're a circular and totalitarian monster by default.
Add to that, you may not have any real ability or willingness to recognize how many cliches you truly are under the spell of. This is what the unironic attempts around discussions of "privilege" do a generally miserable job of explaining. We all have privileges up and down hierarchies and competencies and dozens of other metrics we fluidly transition through all day. None are necessarily going to jar you awake or indicate there's anything worth examining on their own. Your cohort speaks your language. Your education taught you the "right" things. Your hobbies and interests conform to a person of your state and stature. "It's just how things are done."
This provokes people's insecurity as a standing state of a lack of readiness. When you poke people, you'll find they don't have "real" reasons for their behavior, beliefs, or words. It's all been handed to them. They're a series of unconscious forces they're more or less molding to because that's how our brains work. Your brain doesn't care what it forms a pattern around, just that it can do so. There's survival reasons for this, as well as a story of basic capacities to function regardless of the nature of the environment that's all-but certain to otherwise kill you if you can't figure it out.
I, routinely, provoke that insecurity. I've learned to show considerably less ambivalence about the person after they've been provoked, but it happens just as an ongoing and predictable course of my practice. This is my practice. I analyze. I pull back. I try to identify and speak to patterns, even if they're abstract, but certainly concrete enough for me to anticipate them and work with or around them. I know what kind of response I need built into what I can reliably anticipate is going to be yours. I know how to piss off and get ignored by "the internet," and I know how to illicit a thousand likes. What's important to me is that I'm speaking as closely to my real perspective or agenda as possible, and not being driven by an elusive brain chemical game subject to the mercy of algorithms or inarticulate desires to unhealthily fit in.
I want to fit in, but with an ever-winnowing type of person. I want to be less-wrong in the information I share, but not at the expense of someone's capacity to hear it or learn from it if I can't be bothered to temper how I say it. I want to grow in my capacity to accept people, but not at the expense of their obligation to better account for and relay their own experience. I've been told my whole life that I'm not allowed to expect the same things from other people as I might of myself. I think this is fundamentally wrong and condescending. I think I should maintain the expectation while doing everything in my power to reduce the barriers to any one person getting to whatever heights you think I've managed or been born with.
Here again, we stay lost. How do you remove barriers you can't see or might even be dispositionally against even acknowledging can exist altogether? How many "boot straps" types can even be bothered to acknowledge the impact of the villages they're living in? How many "deeply empathic" people would entertain pairing their sensibilities to the word "toxic" under any circumstance? It's pretty easy, now, for me to see when my forthright manner acts as too blunt an instrument. Can you see where your baseline disposition and sympathies cloud your judgment and capacity to act more accountably?
I feel like "accountable" itself is poorly understood. Just count! Count the disquieting contradictory thought. Count the intensity, frequency, and severity of the feelings. Count the attempts to mitigate or times you recognized forgoing to do so. Accountability doesn't mean wildly wielding an axe to bring down dramatic consequences upon everything and everyone that wasn't noticed until now. It's just asking yourself, over and over again, what can I control about this situation? What can I act on that speaks to my values and perception?
Let's take the real world example of me and Byron. I can't control his perception of what he thought he was doing in service to the kid. I can't control his awareness of any creeping mental health issues that might have arisen. I can't control whether or not he responds affirmatively to my new boundaries. I could control telling him what those boundaries were altogether, so I did. I can affirm that I'm only going to communicate along the lines that hopefully help the boundary conditions get met before I'm willing to get more colloquial or back to friendly. I can respect that he told me our friendship is "invaluable." I can't truthfully say I think we'd be using that word in a mutually understood way until I see practical, tangible effects upon my life that counteract where I feel I am as a direct result of my expression of friendship getting grossly taken advantage of.
Until then, I'll treat him like I would any client. Show me. I'll patiently-enough nod along, provide whatever perspective or reframe that I can, and remain open to demonstrated behavior changes. I don't have to throw myself back into his fire. If I'm going to claim a desire to protect and maintain genuine friendships or care for those in my life, I'm not going to treat myself with the ambivalence I see others suffer from themselves every day.
I choose that level of discomfort. I only mildly complain today, as it's gotten dramatically better, about doing things alone and never having anyone to hang out with. Byron was my go-to spot for killing time or hanging out. Not once in my free time have I said, "You know, fuck my boundary, let's hang out there!" How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I advocate for you establishing better boundaries with people in your life? How could I ignore what I would characterize as gleeful and willful defiance of doing "better" than playing out battered-wife excuse making? I will not play-act friendship with someone who can't be bothered to work as hard on themselves or in service to me as I've been for them. That's not the kind of friend I am, so it's not the one I'll let back in lightly.
What's normal, though? No matter how bad someone fucks you, forgive and pretend to forget, right? They're "family." Life's too short. It is what it is. They didn't mean to or weren't aware. That's not who they were in the past. Holding grudges is unhealthy. Your insecurities around being isolated or alone betray you. Your obligation to play along and appease your mutual network takes over. Whether any real healing or mutual understanding comes into the equation is perfectly mute because we need to just move right along and "love each other."
I watch that dance justify literally every conceivable level of atrocity. It is the exact same self-servicing motivatedly ignorant pattern. From your god's behavior right on down through your secret satisfaction and smirk at punishing your pet a little too aggressively just that one time. What you don't account for counts on you to carry out its consequences. And you are, every day, in big and small ways, and it's predictable and fixable, but only with stuff like this. You have to own it. You have to "yes, and" like it's an improv class. You have to perpetually entertain the thought that you are a misguided monster, but that fact doesn't have to dictate your behavior going forward nor need to illicit some special amount of stress or talking in circles.
Then you might have a prayer of genuinely helping anything, because you see how you're otherwise fucking it up within yourself. You can resist the insistence to move past meaningful details. You can point to specific repeatable demonstrations of your values. You can see other people responding to your confidence of relatable recognizable capacity, and not the shadow game of peacocking virtue signaling and mantra echoing.
I will spend thousands of dollars, use all my tools, and spend every waking hour I have trying to help. I think most people I've met would say the same thing. Who is actually doing so? And in service to whom? Do you trust what drives them? Do you see equitable put in get out dynamics? Or is it codepedence? Or insecurity? Or some noble story of infinite sacrifice and unconditional love?
I'm willing to set the conditions because I expect better than what's normal of and for myself. Were circumstances reversed, I wouldn't treat you as I've been treated, and most importantly, have the demonstrated behavior from myself to trust. I've spent the time and money. I've opened the conversations. I've challenged the mismanaged powers and privileges. I've risen to the challenge of creating circumstances that inch me closer to what I actually want or think is better versus what's expected of me. It never ends. Every second you pretend otherwise, you disappear, and I have to fit your abstract abdication into my specific constructs.
submitted by sadallthetimeagain to self [link] [comments]
On the basis of your invocation of "trauma" you can rush to provide "help" and "services" and begin blaming an incredible amount of "mental health issues" or "unresolved childhoods." It's literally the cliche of a freshman's behavior after enrolling in their first college psychology course on blast. They've already invoked unsubstantiated pseudo-science and pop-culture explicitly not psychology as tools to provide frameworks for understanding your families. When someone infers substance abuse from a story just because the accusation was levied or any kind of drug was referenced at any level, their conclusions or assumptions go unchecked. It's predictably baking a recipe for an unnecessary mess on top of whatever the family is going through.
You can feel the tension every time you speak in "checking" ways. This happens to me routinely. One of the presenters spoke to the biased and incomplete ways that foster parents or aggravated family members might speak to the nature of the case or anyone's character. I pointed out that case managers can leave out details and massage stories to fit their ends as well. That got ignored and we moved right along. It's a real concern, and you need to know how to protect your relationship with someone who might be specifically directed to undermine your effort to advocate with the evidence.
But it doesn't feel "pleasant" or "decent" when you "want to believe the best" about your colleagues. Is it less true? Absolutely not. I was literally forced into that position from predatory supervisors and watched dipshit coworkers skip along those disingenuous lines without hesitation. Anecdotes fawning over better-inclined and capable FCMs do nothing to erase that.
So I started thinking about "discomfort" broadly. Another concept that's been wholesale abused. We needed to be way too on guard for what or whether we said might be a "micro aggression" or would cause someone to feel "unsafe" or "uncomfortable." Again, our pop psychology and propensity to overstate the noisiest out-ragers, made it so critical thinking and doubt became sinful in and of themselves. Facts don't matter in that space. "Being heard" is afforded only if you're claiming victimhood, but then, only victimhood of a certain type. The own-goal that is reactionary politics when you forgo any genuine attempt at taking someone's, almost certainly mostly irrational but nonetheless real, concern seriously is the ongoing consequence we get to suffer.
I think the more you practice observing conversational patterns, word choices, and trends, you can start to see previously "abstract" things considerably more acutely. One thing I notice is a propensity for "moving right along." I don't care what the topic is, there's a "normal" pace and pater that is preferred. Violate that, and it's time to move on. Point out the failings of the people you're supposed to trust most or even ingratiate yourself to? Let's move right along into the next module, as we all know there's nothing much more to say about that.
Another pattern I notice is the "taken aback pause." It's not precisely a reaction to being "offended," but it's a stark enough detail or way of relaying information that who you're speaking with was not prepared to engage that intensely. If they're quick, it'll be a brink-of-condescending acknowledgement before moving-right-along, or if they're not quick, it'll be a placating obfuscating of what you said to "even things out."Again, these are imprecise norms of conversational behavior around the particulars of one culture at one point in time, but they're real and of consequence whether or not you can see them.
When we use the word "bias," we let ourselves off the hook on the myriad ways it manifests. We let "bias" obscure in the opposite way that we let "trauma" obscure. Trauma is abused to over-explain what should be considered a necessary series of responses or consequences. Bias is abused to overlook how deeply it colors your propensity to engage that over-explaining behavior. You are biased, first and foremost, to your subjective experience of reality. In my experience, almost no one is that clued into their own flow of experience. Even the ones that are, or are showing the most growth and evidence, struggle, and will struggle indefinitely. This includes myself.
That's the point, though. You need the struggle to keep your wits about you. You need appropriate stressors against the things that will help you grow and incorporate. By definition, norms put that insistence to the side so we can all find a baseline mutual understanding to move right along down. The more cliched you sound, if you don't have a reflex to pause and pull back, the more you're training yourself to believe and act on "just whatever it is you say." You're a circular and totalitarian monster by default.
Add to that, you may not have any real ability or willingness to recognize how many cliches you truly are under the spell of. This is what the unironic attempts around discussions of "privilege" do a generally miserable job of explaining. We all have privileges up and down hierarchies and competencies and dozens of other metrics we fluidly transition through all day. None are necessarily going to jar you awake or indicate there's anything worth examining on their own. Your cohort speaks your language. Your education taught you the "right" things. Your hobbies and interests conform to a person of your state and stature. "It's just how things are done."
This provokes people's insecurity as a standing state of a lack of readiness. When you poke people, you'll find they don't have "real" reasons for their behavior, beliefs, or words. It's all been handed to them. They're a series of unconscious forces they're more or less molding to because that's how our brains work. Your brain doesn't care what it forms a pattern around, just that it can do so. There's survival reasons for this, as well as a story of basic capacities to function regardless of the nature of the environment that's all-but certain to otherwise kill you if you can't figure it out.
I, routinely, provoke that insecurity. I've learned to show considerably less ambivalence about the person after they've been provoked, but it happens just as an ongoing and predictable course of my practice. This is my practice. I analyze. I pull back. I try to identify and speak to patterns, even if they're abstract, but certainly concrete enough for me to anticipate them and work with or around them. I know what kind of response I need built into what I can reliably anticipate is going to be yours. I know how to piss off and get ignored by "the internet," and I know how to illicit a thousand likes. What's important to me is that I'm speaking as closely to my real perspective or agenda as possible, and not being driven by an elusive brain chemical game subject to the mercy of algorithms or inarticulate desires to unhealthily fit in.
I want to fit in, but with an ever-winnowing type of person. I want to be less-wrong in the information I share, but not at the expense of someone's capacity to hear it or learn from it if I can't be bothered to temper how I say it. I want to grow in my capacity to accept people, but not at the expense of their obligation to better account for and relay their own experience. I've been told my whole life that I'm not allowed to expect the same things from other people as I might of myself. I think this is fundamentally wrong and condescending. I think I should maintain the expectation while doing everything in my power to reduce the barriers to any one person getting to whatever heights you think I've managed or been born with.
Here again, we stay lost. How do you remove barriers you can't see or might even be dispositionally against even acknowledging can exist altogether? How many "boot straps" types can even be bothered to acknowledge the impact of the villages they're living in? How many "deeply empathic" people would entertain pairing their sensibilities to the word "toxic" under any circumstance? It's pretty easy, now, for me to see when my forthright manner acts as too blunt an instrument. Can you see where your baseline disposition and sympathies cloud your judgment and capacity to act more accountably?
I feel like "accountable" itself is poorly understood. Just count! Count the disquieting contradictory thought. Count the intensity, frequency, and severity of the feelings. Count the attempts to mitigate or times you recognized forgoing to do so. Accountability doesn't mean wildly wielding an axe to bring down dramatic consequences upon everything and everyone that wasn't noticed until now. It's just asking yourself, over and over again, what can I control about this situation? What can I act on that speaks to my values and perception?
Let's take the real world example of me and Byron. I can't control his perception of what he thought he was doing in service to the kid. I can't control his awareness of any creeping mental health issues that might have arisen. I can't control whether or not he responds affirmatively to my new boundaries. I could control telling him what those boundaries were altogether, so I did. I can affirm that I'm only going to communicate along the lines that hopefully help the boundary conditions get met before I'm willing to get more colloquial or back to friendly. I can respect that he told me our friendship is "invaluable." I can't truthfully say I think we'd be using that word in a mutually understood way until I see practical, tangible effects upon my life that counteract where I feel I am as a direct result of my expression of friendship getting grossly taken advantage of.
Until then, I'll treat him like I would any client. Show me. I'll patiently-enough nod along, provide whatever perspective or reframe that I can, and remain open to demonstrated behavior changes. I don't have to throw myself back into his fire. If I'm going to claim a desire to protect and maintain genuine friendships or care for those in my life, I'm not going to treat myself with the ambivalence I see others suffer from themselves every day.
I choose that level of discomfort. I only mildly complain today, as it's gotten dramatically better, about doing things alone and never having anyone to hang out with. Byron was my go-to spot for killing time or hanging out. Not once in my free time have I said, "You know, fuck my boundary, let's hang out there!" How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I advocate for you establishing better boundaries with people in your life? How could I ignore what I would characterize as gleeful and willful defiance of doing "better" than playing out battered-wife excuse making? I will not play-act friendship with someone who can't be bothered to work as hard on themselves or in service to me as I've been for them. That's not the kind of friend I am, so it's not the one I'll let back in lightly.
What's normal, though? No matter how bad someone fucks you, forgive and pretend to forget, right? They're "family." Life's too short. It is what it is. They didn't mean to or weren't aware. That's not who they were in the past. Holding grudges is unhealthy. Your insecurities around being isolated or alone betray you. Your obligation to play along and appease your mutual network takes over. Whether any real healing or mutual understanding comes into the equation is perfectly mute because we need to just move right along and "love each other."
I watch that dance justify literally every conceivable level of atrocity. It is the exact same self-servicing motivatedly ignorant pattern. From your god's behavior right on down through your secret satisfaction and smirk at punishing your pet a little too aggressively just that one time. What you don't account for counts on you to carry out its consequences. And you are, every day, in big and small ways, and it's predictable and fixable, but only with stuff like this. You have to own it. You have to "yes, and" like it's an improv class. You have to perpetually entertain the thought that you are a misguided monster, but that fact doesn't have to dictate your behavior going forward nor need to illicit some special amount of stress or talking in circles.
Then you might have a prayer of genuinely helping anything, because you see how you're otherwise fucking it up within yourself. You can resist the insistence to move past meaningful details. You can point to specific repeatable demonstrations of your values. You can see other people responding to your confidence of relatable recognizable capacity, and not the shadow game of peacocking virtue signaling and mantra echoing.
I will spend thousands of dollars, use all my tools, and spend every waking hour I have trying to help. I think most people I've met would say the same thing. Who is actually doing so? And in service to whom? Do you trust what drives them? Do you see equitable put in get out dynamics? Or is it codepedence? Or insecurity? Or some noble story of infinite sacrifice and unconditional love?
I'm willing to set the conditions because I expect better than what's normal of and for myself. Were circumstances reversed, I wouldn't treat you as I've been treated, and most importantly, have the demonstrated behavior from myself to trust. I've spent the time and money. I've opened the conversations. I've challenged the mismanaged powers and privileges. I've risen to the challenge of creating circumstances that inch me closer to what I actually want or think is better versus what's expected of me. It never ends. Every second you pretend otherwise, you disappear, and I have to fit your abstract abdication into my specific constructs.
2024.05.13 23:54 AFI69_RiseNDie How to manage BPD in marriage
New poster here but long time lurker. I’m F 27, spouse is M 29. I’ve had this diagnosis for years and could be considered high-functioning since on paper I look like I’m stable, but mentally I’m doing mental gymnastics to manage my emotions. We’ve been married a year and I confessed to cheating. I was blackout drunk years ago and my coworker and I ended up starting to hookup. He was much older than me and I do believe he was trying to set the stage for this hookup, now that I’m older. I immediately left and we flirted for a week or so after. But I cut it off. I ended up having to work under this coworker when he became my manager. So that complicated things. Spouse only thought it was a kiss and I did lie back then. This happened in 2020 and why I just now decided to confess the real incident years later I don’t understand but I feel horrible and have hated myself for years because of it. He’s agreed to work through it and we’ve been in therapy, but I can’t stop feeling like at any moment he will just leave or is “getting back at me” because when he first discovered that this “kiss” happened he found the flirt texts too and later ended up texting hookers. In 2021 we agreed to start over and bought a house, since we were still engaged. I must also note he was married very young and the first wife cheated numerous times with numerous people and it was highly traumatic.. so of course this adds to my guilt and shame and self-hatred. I never would’ve done this had I been sober.. and I think he knows that but still. I’ve left that job, I have completely done a 180 and quit lying in general years ago etc. like I was symptom free besides the deep self hatred and guilt/shame I had been carrying from this before telling him the full story.
We’ve been together 8 years now as well so I think we can work through it. I just can’t manage the anxiety/paranoia anymore and I know it’s affecting our relationship and I know he’s hurting and needs space to heal but I need help trying to manage this and to not be so overbearing. I’ve done DBT and recognize I need to go back into it since these episodes have resurfaced. But any other advice or input is greatly appreciated. I’m sorry this is all over the place.
submitted by AFI69_RiseNDie to Marriage [link] [comments]
We’ve been together 8 years now as well so I think we can work through it. I just can’t manage the anxiety/paranoia anymore and I know it’s affecting our relationship and I know he’s hurting and needs space to heal but I need help trying to manage this and to not be so overbearing. I’ve done DBT and recognize I need to go back into it since these episodes have resurfaced. But any other advice or input is greatly appreciated. I’m sorry this is all over the place.
2024.05.13 23:12 bambaazon Logic Pro 11.0 release notes
New Features and enhancements
New AI-enhanced tools join Smart Tempo and the Pitch Correction plug-in to augment your artistry.
Bass Player and Keyboard Player join Drummer to complete a set of Session Players — all built with AI making it easy to create performances that respond to your direction.
Session Players can follow the same chord progression using Global chord track.
Add warmth to any track with ChromaGlow, an advanced plug-in with five saturation models designed to simulate the sound of vintage analog hardware.*
Separate a stereo audio file into stems for vocals, drums, bass and other parts with Stem Splitter.*
Session Players, ChromaGlow, and Stem Splitter also come to Logic Pro for iPad 2 — making it simple to move between projects created in Logic Pro for Mac.
Play any of six deeply-sampled acoustic and electric basses with Studio Bass.
Perform any of three meticulously-sampled pianos with Studio Piano.
Loops that contain chord tags will automatically populate the chord track when added to a project.
Three new Producer Packs are available: Hardwell, The Kount, and Cory Wong.
Original multi-track project of Swing! by Ellie Dixon available as in-app demo song.
Downmix and trim options allow custom mixing for non-Atmos channel configurations.
Exported ADM BWF files have been expanded beyond Dolby Atmos and can contain settings for stereo and other multi-channel formats.
Bounce in place adds automatic real-time recording for External Instrument regions or tracks that utilize external hardware using the Logic Pro I/O plug-in.
Route MIDI signals generated by supported software instruments and effects to the input of other tracks for creative layering during playback or recording.
Edit more efficiently using key commands for moving, extending, or resizing marquee selections.
The Nudge Region/Event Position key commands now also nudge Marquee selections.
The Transpose Region/Event key commands now also move or expand the Marquee selection up/down.
Pattern regions can now be created on Drummer tracks, and Drummer regions can be converted to Pattern regions.
New key commands include Trim Note End to Following Notes (Force Legato) With Overlap and Trim Note End to Selected (Force Legato) With Overlap.
Bounce in Place and Track Freeze can now be performed in real time, allowing for use of external instruments, I/O plug-ins, and external inserts.
Mastering Assistant analysis now can be performed in real time, allowing for use in projects that incorporate external I/O or instruments.
The Dolby Atmos plug-in now offers Downmix and Surround/Height Trim controls.
The Recent Projects list can now be configured to show up to 50 projects.
* Requires a Mac with Apple silicon.
Stability and reliability
Scripts with 1071 characters or more in Scripter no longer cause Logic Pro to quit unexpectedly.
Fixes an issue where creating a an event in a lane assigned to Note off in Step Sequencer could cause Logic Pro to quit unexpectedly.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could fail to launch with an Error Initializing Core MIDI message when the system is under heavy load performing other tasks.
Resolves an issue where Logic Pro could quit unexpectedly when a 64-bit floating point IR file is loaded into Space Designer.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could hang when opening a project while the Project Settings > MIDI window is displayed.
Logic Pro no longer quits unexpectedly when creating multiple Aux tracks with multiple existing Aux tracks selected.
Improves stability when bypassing control surfaces with Musical Typing open when EuControl software is installed.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could hang when quitting a project containing a large number of instances of Sampler.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could quit unexpectedly when replacing a playing Live Loops cell with another loop.
Performance
The UI is now more responsive when adjusting Flex Pitches directly on regions in Deviation mode.
Performance is improved when editing Transient Markers in Take regions with Flex enabled.
Performance is improved when making Flex Pitch edits in the Tracks area with a large number of selected regions.
Alchemy's Performance is improved.
Performance is improved when moving regions in projects with a large number of tracks and regions.
Projects containing a large number of flex-pitched regions now open more quickly.
Resolves an issue where loading a project saved with a Summing stack selected that contains Software Instruments that have no regions and/or with the tracks turned off could load the Software Instruments into memory.
Accessibility
VoiceOver now announces the state of Automation mode buttons on channel strips.
VoiceOver now announces the status of the Pause button in the LCD.
VoiceOver no longer announces hidden controls in the Smart Controls view.
VoiceOver no longer reads the values of pan knobs that are currently hidden in Sends on Faders mode.
VoiceOver now announces the state of the Details button and the Follow button in the Drummer Editor.
VoiceOver now announces left-click and Command-click Tool selections in the Control Bar.
VoiceOver now announces the name of the Time Quantize button in the Piano Roll.
VoiceOver now announces changes in value when the Next/Previous key commands are used to change Quantize values.
VoiceOver now announces state of key commands for Cycle, Mute, Track Solo, Input Monitoring, Track On/Off, and Lock/Unlock Track.
VoiceOver now announces the selection state of focused tracks.
Spatial Audio
Fixes an issue where adding a new 3D Object track for the first time to a Spatial Audio project could cause the Renderer to switch from the current model to the Apple renderer.
The Dolby Atmos plug-in now offers a 5.1.2 monitoring option.
Fixes an issue where setting a project to Dolby Atmos could output to 7.1.4 even when the mode defaults to Apple Renderer.
It is now possible to monitor Dolby Atmos projects directly via HDMI to a surround capable receiveamplifier.
The metering for Height channels now shows as post-fader on the Master channel as expected.
Loading a Master Bus channel strip setting in the 7.1.4 channel format now preserves the 7.1.4 channel layout as expected.
Session Players
Resolves an issue where loading a user-created Drum Machine Designer patch could set the input to a bus and fail to load the Drum Machine Designer instrument.
Using the Create Drummer Region command in a Marquee selection now creates a region that corresponds to the Marquee.
Smart Tempo
In cases where there is not an existing Smart Tempo Multitrack Set, selecting an audio file in the Smart Tempo Multitrack Set window and disabling the “Contribute to analysis” check box now causes the Update button to change to Analyze as expected.
Pressing the Space bar now immediately stops a Free Tempo recording.
Fixes an issue where projects previously open in the same Logic Pro session could unexpectedly affect “Contribute to Analysis” in the Smart Tempo editor.
Recording
Audio regions recorded to unnamed tracks now include the project name and track number in their name.
Mixer
The channel strip Stereo Pan control and the Pan menu now can be adjusted when Caps Lock is enabled.
Creating a single Multi-timbral Software Instrument in the New Track Sheet no longer creates two Software Instrument instances in the All view of the Mixer.
Resolves an issue where remaining tracks in a Multitimbral Software Instrument Track Stack could unexpectedly rename the channel strip.
Adjusting the activity status of a speaker in the Surround panner no longer causes the signal to unexpectedly mute.
Groups now immediately show as inactive when switched off for a selected set of channels in the Mixer.
Metering now correctly works on individual channel strips with plug-ins that send to more than two channels and are routed to a surround bus.
Option-clicking on a send in a selected group of channel strips now sets all corresponding sends to 0 dB as expected.
Fixes an issue where performing Undo after adjusting the fader values of grouped channels with Group Clutch enabled and then disabled could cause the faders to jump up to +6 dB when one member of the group is touched.
Setting multiple selected channels to No VCA now works as expected
Alchemy
The oscillator section in Alchemy offers a new Wide Unison mode.
All controls for Additive Effects now accept typed-in values as expected.
Values typed into parameters related to milliseconds (MS) in Acoustic Reverb are no longer interpreted as full seconds.
Resolves an issue where performance control destinations for modulation could show as duplicated.
Sampler, Quick Sampler, and Quick Alchemy
The Playback direction button in Quick Sampler now immediately updates when clicked.
The view now scrolls correctly when dragging the Trim marker in Sample Alchemy.
It is now possible to adjust the level of a group in Sampler up to +24 dB.
The Up/Down buttons for navigating zones in Sampler now remain available after adjusting the start or end positions of samples.
The general Zoom/Scroll key commands now can be used to trim the current view in Sample Alchemy.
Handles and Trim Handles in Sample Alchemy behave correctly when click-dragged, even when the plug-in window does not have focus.
The Ancient Vocal Chop and Baily Glide plug-in settings for Quick Sampler now open in Classic mode, as expected.
Plug-ins
The MIDI Scripter plug-in now shows in Logic Pro when running in dark mode.
Fixes an issue where clicking on Sampled IR in Space Designer could activate Synthesized IR mode unexpectedly.
Resolves an issue where repositioning the playhead could cause audio to cut out on channel strips that use Step FX.
The preset Note Repeater in Scripter now works as expected.
The wet/dry setting on Ringshifter is now always set to 100% wet when inserted on an Aux.
There's now a DI Delay Compensation switch in Bass Amp Designer to improve phase correlation when blending between Amp and Direct Box in the plug-in.
StepFX now includes presets using Sidechain.
The Beat Breaker preset called “Basic / 2 Slices, Speed 66%” no longer plays the slices at 50% speed instead of 66%.
Resolves an issue where ES2 could produce glitching sounds when using Sine Level or Poly Voice mode on Apple Silicon computers.
Mono > Stereo instances of Console EQ no longer can cause unexpected feedback.
Using the Delete all Automation key command while an Audio Unit window has key focus no longer causes the Audio Unit window to go blank.
The menu for the compression section of Phat FX can now be opened by clicking on the Up/Down arrows.
Beat Breaker now offers new default patterns divided evenly into 2, 4, 8, 16, and 32 slices.
Mastering Assistant
There is no longer unexpected latency with bounces from projects that use the Clean or Clean + Excite mode in Mastering Assistant.
Mastering Assistant analysis is no longer incorrectly triggered in projects that contain no regions, but are previewing audio from Ultrabeat, etc.
Mastering Assistant no longer allows the -1 dBFS peak limit to be exceeded in certain cases.
Automation
The Consolidate Relative and Absolute for Visible / Automation menu item now only displays when automation types that support relative automation are active in the lane.
Region-based Automation is now pasted as Track-based Automation when pasted to an area of a track that does not contain regions.
Pitchbend now works as expected with zones in Sampler that do not have Flex Pitch enabled.
Selecting Region-based automation points on a region now deselects previously selected automation points on other regions
Disabling Region-Based Automation no longer dims the Power button for MIDI CC data lanes in the Piano Roll.
The movie window now updates to show the correct frame when moving Region-based automation points.
The Autoselect automation parameter now works as expected when clicking any plug-in control.
Automation of the Gain plug-in no longer exhibits unexpected latency.
Region-based automation is now drawn correctly when recorded into projects that start earlier than 1 1 1 1.
Automation lane views for all tracks are now maintained when switching into Flex view and then back to Automation view.
Flex Time and Flex Pitch
Flex Pitched notes now play as expected when clicked while Record or Input Monitoring is active on the track.
Flexed audio tracks using Monophonic or Slicing mode no longer produce clicks at tempo changes.
Takes and comping
Fade-ins are now applied when flatten and merge is performed on Comps.
Renaming a take that encompasses the entire length of an audio file no longer unexpectedly changes the file name.
Comps in Take Folders are now preserved when performing Cut Section Between Locators on a section that includes the end of one Take folder and the beginning of another, with a gap in-between.
Track Stacks
Record-arming a Track Stack now arms grouped audio tracks in a Track Stack it contains.
Dragging a subtrack out of a Track Stack that is assigned to a VCA now removes the assignment for the subtrack.
Fixes an issue where Track Stacks could sometimes be dimmed when some, but not all, subtracks are muted or off.
It's now possible to replace stacked instrument patches that are inside a Summing Stack with single track patches.
Track Alternatives
Loading a patch on a Summing Stack containing sub-tracks with Track Alternatives no longer causes inactive alternatives to be deleted.
Track Alternatives can now be created for the Stereo Output track.
Selection-Based Processing
Using Selection-Based Processing on a Marquee selected section within a Take Folder no longer creates an unexpected comp.
Selection-Based Processing on a comp now retains the comp.
Score
The spacing of notes is improved in cases where there is a dotted note on a line with the stem is pointing upward.
Command + Z to undo now works after deleting a Score Set.
Upward bends in TAB staves now display correctly.
Importing an instrument track no longer can cause Score Sets in the current project to disappear.
Imported Score Sets can now be deleted from a project.
Live Loops
“Join Region and Fill Cell” now works as expected.
Recording a performance in Live Loops now temporarily puts all tracks into Automation: Latch mode.
Fixes an issue where changing patches for a Live Loop track could cause the length of cells to change unexpectedly.
It's now possible to paste MIDI notes into a Live Loops cell.
Step Sequencer
It's now easier to use the disclosure triangle to open sub-rows in Step Sequencer.
Pattern regions now play back correctly immediately after being nudged.
Pattern Regions now immediately play as expected after using the Slip/Rotate tool to drag their contents to the left.
The “Separate pattern region by kit piece” command on Drum Machine Designer tracks is now applied to the correct area of the Pattern Region, in cases where the left border of the region has been moved to the right.
The length and number of steps of a newly created Pattern Region accounts for Time Signature changes correctly.
The maximum possible pattern length of a Pattern region is now 4 bars of the current time signature.
Step Sequencer now allows pattern lengths to be added based on 5/4 and 7/8 time signatures.
The Step Sequencer Inc/Dec controls now work in Loop Edit mode.
Fixes an issue where Pattern Regions on frozen tracks be edited unexpectedly.
Region-based automation now displays properly on Pattern regions in tracks that have been partially frozen, and on regions that have been frozen and then unfrozen.
It's now possible to assign MIDI channels per step in a Pattern Region.
MIDI
Reset messages for Software Instruments now work correctly.
Sustain messages are now sent correctly when playing back regions with Clip Length enabled in cycle mode.
There is now an “Internal MIDI in” setting in the Track Inspector to allow for recording MIDI from any other software instrument or External MIDI Instrument track.
The “Send all MIDI settings” key command now sends program changes to external devices assigned to empty tracks.
Resolves an issue where 3 bytes of random MIDI data would be sent when playing back regions containing SysEx data with MIDI 2.0 disabled
New 'internal MIDI in' feature allows recording of MIDI from other tracks, including MIDI FX plug-in output and 3rd party MIDI generators.
The “Delete MIDI events outside region boundaries" key command now correctly creates a starting CC event in the region to match the last matching CC of the same type in the track.
Fixes an issue where Chase could cut off notes that are preceded by notes of the same pitch on tracks with third-party instrument plug-ins.
Editing
The Humanize transform set now works as expected when the Randomize functions for Position, Length, or Velocity are set to very small values.
The menu item Delete and Move in the Event List is now only displayed if regions are displayed in the window.
When MIDI 2.0 is selected in the Settings, clicking on an Event in the Event List no longer plays events back with MIDI 1.0 resolution.
Fixes an issue where using the Cut command in the Audio Track Editor could switch the view to another editor.
When a region in the Project Audio window is double-clicked, the Audio Track editor now opens as expected.
The content link buttons for the Piano Roll and Score show the correct color as expected when toggled using the mouse.
The Event List correctly updates to reflect changes made by using key commands to select notes in other editors.
Resolves an issue where the Velocity tool in the Piano roll could affect the values of non-note events.
Fixes an issue where applying the Transform set Double Speed could cause the notes to disappear from the Piano Roll.
Step Input
Extending the length of note entered using Step Input now works correctly.
Global Tracks
Adding multiple audio Apple Loops of the same key to different tracks of a new project now changes the project key as expected.
Clicked in Tempo points are now placed at their correct positions in projects that start earlier than 1 1 1 1.
Share and export
When No Overlap is enabled, regions bounced onto existing regions no longer overlap them.
Audio files bounced from Logic Pro now include the proper Encoded Date in the metadata.
Fixes an issue where MIDI regions could be truncated when bounced in place.
Fixes an issue where audio files including Volume/Pan automation exported from mono tracks that use plug-ins could export as stereo files.
It is now possible to bounce sub-channels of multitimbral instrument tracks as individual files.
Import
Resolves an issue when dragging multiple audio files into a project, choosing the “Place all files on one track” option could create a second track and places the first file on one track, and the rest on the second.
Output channels in the Mixer can now be imported from other Logic Pro projects.
Apple Loops
The Loops browser now correctly shows the same enharmonic key an Apple Loop was tagged with.
Apple Loops now preview using the Key Signature active at the current position of the playhead.
It's now possible to add Aliases to bookmarks and untagged loops.
Dragging an Apple Loop from the loop browser to an existing track no longer changes the input for the track.
Fixes an issue where MIDI Apple Loops could jump to the start of the nearest bar position when dragged from the Loop Browser to the middle of a bar.
Video Support
A secondary screen that is running a full screen video with Show Animations off will no longer remain black after closing the project.
Key Commands
The “Increase (or Decrease) last clicked parameter” key commands now work for controls in the LCD.
The “Record off for all” key command now works on Software Instrument tracks in cases where one or more audio tracks are also record-enabled.
There is now a key command to add to the current selection of regions or cells that are assigned to a toggle solo group.
The Zoom Toggle key command now works in the Step Editor.
Compatibility
GarageBand projects that use Pitch Correction now sound the same when opened in Logic Pro.
Undo
If Undo is used immediately after creating a project, the New Track Sheet is displayed as expected rather than leaving a project with no tracks.
Undo/Redo now works as expected with Audio Unit v3 plug-ins.
Changing the Automation Mode, or changing a Track On/Off state now creates an Undo step.
Performing Undo after adding a surround track no longer corrects Drummer tracks in the project.
Logic Remote
Logic Remote immediately updates to show time and signature changes made in Logic Pro.
Control Surfaces and MIDI controllers
Controls on Control Surface devices that use Lua scripts now provide feedback when learning assignments for them in Logic Pro.
Illuminated buttons on control surfaces now show the correct state for Show/Hide Track Editor.
General
The LCD now displays the Cycle start and end times in both SMPTE time and Bars/Beats when the secondary ruler is displayed.
Search in the All Files browser now finds matching items in bookmarked folders.
Fixes an issue where the visible editor in the Main window could unexpectedly switch when rubber-band selecting regions.
Audio Take folders created in Cycle mode now loop as expected after recording when Loop is enabled in the Region Inspector.
It's now possible to create external MIDI tracks when Core Audio is disabled in Logic Pro.
Resolves an issue where deleting a Flex marker from an audio region while a Marker List is visible could switch the key focus to the Marker List.
Track information pasted into a text editor now includes the TIME position when the Use Musical Grid setting for the project is not enabled.
Input monitoring buttons are now displayed on audio tracks when Logic Pro has fallen back to an alternate audio device because the selected device is not available.
Previewing an audio region in the Project Audio window no longer causes it to jump to the top of the window.
Command+Option clicking on the On/Off button of a track now toggles the button for all tracks, as expected.
Copy/paste of regions now works when Automation view is enabled.
Right-clicking on a looped segment of a region now opens the contextual menu as expected.
It's now easier to see when black keys are depressed in the Musical Typing window.
The right arrow key now reliably moves the text cursor in the Bounce > Save As file name panel.
Groove Templates created from audio regions now work in Smart Quantize mode.
Dragging multiple regions from the same audio file from the Project Audio browser to the Tracks area now works correctly.
Audio regions are no longer moved to unexpected positions when trimming, if absolute Snap mode is on, and the region anchor is moved away from the start of the region
Fixes an issue where pasting a Marquee selection with No Overlap and Snap Edits to Zero Crossings mode enabled could delete a non-overlapping part of an existing region.
Autozoom now triggers when a region's upper right corner is dragged in the Main window, or the Audio Track Editor.
The Playhead no longer may briefly appear to be in the wrong position when zooming horizontally.
The Time Ruler now immediately updates to reflect changes made to the “Bar Position [bar position] plays at SMPTE” setting.
The File browser correctly shows the full path when using Save As.
submitted by bambaazon to Logic_Studio [link] [comments]
New AI-enhanced tools join Smart Tempo and the Pitch Correction plug-in to augment your artistry.
Bass Player and Keyboard Player join Drummer to complete a set of Session Players — all built with AI making it easy to create performances that respond to your direction.
Session Players can follow the same chord progression using Global chord track.
Add warmth to any track with ChromaGlow, an advanced plug-in with five saturation models designed to simulate the sound of vintage analog hardware.*
Separate a stereo audio file into stems for vocals, drums, bass and other parts with Stem Splitter.*
Session Players, ChromaGlow, and Stem Splitter also come to Logic Pro for iPad 2 — making it simple to move between projects created in Logic Pro for Mac.
Play any of six deeply-sampled acoustic and electric basses with Studio Bass.
Perform any of three meticulously-sampled pianos with Studio Piano.
Loops that contain chord tags will automatically populate the chord track when added to a project.
Three new Producer Packs are available: Hardwell, The Kount, and Cory Wong.
Original multi-track project of Swing! by Ellie Dixon available as in-app demo song.
Downmix and trim options allow custom mixing for non-Atmos channel configurations.
Exported ADM BWF files have been expanded beyond Dolby Atmos and can contain settings for stereo and other multi-channel formats.
Bounce in place adds automatic real-time recording for External Instrument regions or tracks that utilize external hardware using the Logic Pro I/O plug-in.
Route MIDI signals generated by supported software instruments and effects to the input of other tracks for creative layering during playback or recording.
Edit more efficiently using key commands for moving, extending, or resizing marquee selections.
The Nudge Region/Event Position key commands now also nudge Marquee selections.
The Transpose Region/Event key commands now also move or expand the Marquee selection up/down.
Pattern regions can now be created on Drummer tracks, and Drummer regions can be converted to Pattern regions.
New key commands include Trim Note End to Following Notes (Force Legato) With Overlap and Trim Note End to Selected (Force Legato) With Overlap.
Bounce in Place and Track Freeze can now be performed in real time, allowing for use of external instruments, I/O plug-ins, and external inserts.
Mastering Assistant analysis now can be performed in real time, allowing for use in projects that incorporate external I/O or instruments.
The Dolby Atmos plug-in now offers Downmix and Surround/Height Trim controls.
The Recent Projects list can now be configured to show up to 50 projects.
* Requires a Mac with Apple silicon.
Stability and reliability
Scripts with 1071 characters or more in Scripter no longer cause Logic Pro to quit unexpectedly.
Fixes an issue where creating a an event in a lane assigned to Note off in Step Sequencer could cause Logic Pro to quit unexpectedly.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could fail to launch with an Error Initializing Core MIDI message when the system is under heavy load performing other tasks.
Resolves an issue where Logic Pro could quit unexpectedly when a 64-bit floating point IR file is loaded into Space Designer.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could hang when opening a project while the Project Settings > MIDI window is displayed.
Logic Pro no longer quits unexpectedly when creating multiple Aux tracks with multiple existing Aux tracks selected.
Improves stability when bypassing control surfaces with Musical Typing open when EuControl software is installed.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could hang when quitting a project containing a large number of instances of Sampler.
Fixes an issue where Logic Pro could quit unexpectedly when replacing a playing Live Loops cell with another loop.
Performance
The UI is now more responsive when adjusting Flex Pitches directly on regions in Deviation mode.
Performance is improved when editing Transient Markers in Take regions with Flex enabled.
Performance is improved when making Flex Pitch edits in the Tracks area with a large number of selected regions.
Alchemy's Performance is improved.
Performance is improved when moving regions in projects with a large number of tracks and regions.
Projects containing a large number of flex-pitched regions now open more quickly.
Resolves an issue where loading a project saved with a Summing stack selected that contains Software Instruments that have no regions and/or with the tracks turned off could load the Software Instruments into memory.
Accessibility
VoiceOver now announces the state of Automation mode buttons on channel strips.
VoiceOver now announces the status of the Pause button in the LCD.
VoiceOver no longer announces hidden controls in the Smart Controls view.
VoiceOver no longer reads the values of pan knobs that are currently hidden in Sends on Faders mode.
VoiceOver now announces the state of the Details button and the Follow button in the Drummer Editor.
VoiceOver now announces left-click and Command-click Tool selections in the Control Bar.
VoiceOver now announces the name of the Time Quantize button in the Piano Roll.
VoiceOver now announces changes in value when the Next/Previous key commands are used to change Quantize values.
VoiceOver now announces state of key commands for Cycle, Mute, Track Solo, Input Monitoring, Track On/Off, and Lock/Unlock Track.
VoiceOver now announces the selection state of focused tracks.
Spatial Audio
Fixes an issue where adding a new 3D Object track for the first time to a Spatial Audio project could cause the Renderer to switch from the current model to the Apple renderer.
The Dolby Atmos plug-in now offers a 5.1.2 monitoring option.
Fixes an issue where setting a project to Dolby Atmos could output to 7.1.4 even when the mode defaults to Apple Renderer.
It is now possible to monitor Dolby Atmos projects directly via HDMI to a surround capable receiveamplifier.
The metering for Height channels now shows as post-fader on the Master channel as expected.
Loading a Master Bus channel strip setting in the 7.1.4 channel format now preserves the 7.1.4 channel layout as expected.
Session Players
Resolves an issue where loading a user-created Drum Machine Designer patch could set the input to a bus and fail to load the Drum Machine Designer instrument.
Using the Create Drummer Region command in a Marquee selection now creates a region that corresponds to the Marquee.
Smart Tempo
In cases where there is not an existing Smart Tempo Multitrack Set, selecting an audio file in the Smart Tempo Multitrack Set window and disabling the “Contribute to analysis” check box now causes the Update button to change to Analyze as expected.
Pressing the Space bar now immediately stops a Free Tempo recording.
Fixes an issue where projects previously open in the same Logic Pro session could unexpectedly affect “Contribute to Analysis” in the Smart Tempo editor.
Recording
Audio regions recorded to unnamed tracks now include the project name and track number in their name.
Mixer
The channel strip Stereo Pan control and the Pan menu now can be adjusted when Caps Lock is enabled.
Creating a single Multi-timbral Software Instrument in the New Track Sheet no longer creates two Software Instrument instances in the All view of the Mixer.
Resolves an issue where remaining tracks in a Multitimbral Software Instrument Track Stack could unexpectedly rename the channel strip.
Adjusting the activity status of a speaker in the Surround panner no longer causes the signal to unexpectedly mute.
Groups now immediately show as inactive when switched off for a selected set of channels in the Mixer.
Metering now correctly works on individual channel strips with plug-ins that send to more than two channels and are routed to a surround bus.
Option-clicking on a send in a selected group of channel strips now sets all corresponding sends to 0 dB as expected.
Fixes an issue where performing Undo after adjusting the fader values of grouped channels with Group Clutch enabled and then disabled could cause the faders to jump up to +6 dB when one member of the group is touched.
Setting multiple selected channels to No VCA now works as expected
Alchemy
The oscillator section in Alchemy offers a new Wide Unison mode.
All controls for Additive Effects now accept typed-in values as expected.
Values typed into parameters related to milliseconds (MS) in Acoustic Reverb are no longer interpreted as full seconds.
Resolves an issue where performance control destinations for modulation could show as duplicated.
Sampler, Quick Sampler, and Quick Alchemy
The Playback direction button in Quick Sampler now immediately updates when clicked.
The view now scrolls correctly when dragging the Trim marker in Sample Alchemy.
It is now possible to adjust the level of a group in Sampler up to +24 dB.
The Up/Down buttons for navigating zones in Sampler now remain available after adjusting the start or end positions of samples.
The general Zoom/Scroll key commands now can be used to trim the current view in Sample Alchemy.
Handles and Trim Handles in Sample Alchemy behave correctly when click-dragged, even when the plug-in window does not have focus.
The Ancient Vocal Chop and Baily Glide plug-in settings for Quick Sampler now open in Classic mode, as expected.
Plug-ins
The MIDI Scripter plug-in now shows in Logic Pro when running in dark mode.
Fixes an issue where clicking on Sampled IR in Space Designer could activate Synthesized IR mode unexpectedly.
Resolves an issue where repositioning the playhead could cause audio to cut out on channel strips that use Step FX.
The preset Note Repeater in Scripter now works as expected.
The wet/dry setting on Ringshifter is now always set to 100% wet when inserted on an Aux.
There's now a DI Delay Compensation switch in Bass Amp Designer to improve phase correlation when blending between Amp and Direct Box in the plug-in.
StepFX now includes presets using Sidechain.
The Beat Breaker preset called “Basic / 2 Slices, Speed 66%” no longer plays the slices at 50% speed instead of 66%.
Resolves an issue where ES2 could produce glitching sounds when using Sine Level or Poly Voice mode on Apple Silicon computers.
Mono > Stereo instances of Console EQ no longer can cause unexpected feedback.
Using the Delete all Automation key command while an Audio Unit window has key focus no longer causes the Audio Unit window to go blank.
The menu for the compression section of Phat FX can now be opened by clicking on the Up/Down arrows.
Beat Breaker now offers new default patterns divided evenly into 2, 4, 8, 16, and 32 slices.
Mastering Assistant
There is no longer unexpected latency with bounces from projects that use the Clean or Clean + Excite mode in Mastering Assistant.
Mastering Assistant analysis is no longer incorrectly triggered in projects that contain no regions, but are previewing audio from Ultrabeat, etc.
Mastering Assistant no longer allows the -1 dBFS peak limit to be exceeded in certain cases.
Automation
The Consolidate Relative and Absolute for Visible / Automation menu item now only displays when automation types that support relative automation are active in the lane.
Region-based Automation is now pasted as Track-based Automation when pasted to an area of a track that does not contain regions.
Pitchbend now works as expected with zones in Sampler that do not have Flex Pitch enabled.
Selecting Region-based automation points on a region now deselects previously selected automation points on other regions
Disabling Region-Based Automation no longer dims the Power button for MIDI CC data lanes in the Piano Roll.
The movie window now updates to show the correct frame when moving Region-based automation points.
The Autoselect automation parameter now works as expected when clicking any plug-in control.
Automation of the Gain plug-in no longer exhibits unexpected latency.
Region-based automation is now drawn correctly when recorded into projects that start earlier than 1 1 1 1.
Automation lane views for all tracks are now maintained when switching into Flex view and then back to Automation view.
Flex Time and Flex Pitch
Flex Pitched notes now play as expected when clicked while Record or Input Monitoring is active on the track.
Flexed audio tracks using Monophonic or Slicing mode no longer produce clicks at tempo changes.
Takes and comping
Fade-ins are now applied when flatten and merge is performed on Comps.
Renaming a take that encompasses the entire length of an audio file no longer unexpectedly changes the file name.
Comps in Take Folders are now preserved when performing Cut Section Between Locators on a section that includes the end of one Take folder and the beginning of another, with a gap in-between.
Track Stacks
Record-arming a Track Stack now arms grouped audio tracks in a Track Stack it contains.
Dragging a subtrack out of a Track Stack that is assigned to a VCA now removes the assignment for the subtrack.
Fixes an issue where Track Stacks could sometimes be dimmed when some, but not all, subtracks are muted or off.
It's now possible to replace stacked instrument patches that are inside a Summing Stack with single track patches.
Track Alternatives
Loading a patch on a Summing Stack containing sub-tracks with Track Alternatives no longer causes inactive alternatives to be deleted.
Track Alternatives can now be created for the Stereo Output track.
Selection-Based Processing
Using Selection-Based Processing on a Marquee selected section within a Take Folder no longer creates an unexpected comp.
Selection-Based Processing on a comp now retains the comp.
Score
The spacing of notes is improved in cases where there is a dotted note on a line with the stem is pointing upward.
Command + Z to undo now works after deleting a Score Set.
Upward bends in TAB staves now display correctly.
Importing an instrument track no longer can cause Score Sets in the current project to disappear.
Imported Score Sets can now be deleted from a project.
Live Loops
“Join Region and Fill Cell” now works as expected.
Recording a performance in Live Loops now temporarily puts all tracks into Automation: Latch mode.
Fixes an issue where changing patches for a Live Loop track could cause the length of cells to change unexpectedly.
It's now possible to paste MIDI notes into a Live Loops cell.
Step Sequencer
It's now easier to use the disclosure triangle to open sub-rows in Step Sequencer.
Pattern regions now play back correctly immediately after being nudged.
Pattern Regions now immediately play as expected after using the Slip/Rotate tool to drag their contents to the left.
The “Separate pattern region by kit piece” command on Drum Machine Designer tracks is now applied to the correct area of the Pattern Region, in cases where the left border of the region has been moved to the right.
The length and number of steps of a newly created Pattern Region accounts for Time Signature changes correctly.
The maximum possible pattern length of a Pattern region is now 4 bars of the current time signature.
Step Sequencer now allows pattern lengths to be added based on 5/4 and 7/8 time signatures.
The Step Sequencer Inc/Dec controls now work in Loop Edit mode.
Fixes an issue where Pattern Regions on frozen tracks be edited unexpectedly.
Region-based automation now displays properly on Pattern regions in tracks that have been partially frozen, and on regions that have been frozen and then unfrozen.
It's now possible to assign MIDI channels per step in a Pattern Region.
MIDI
Reset messages for Software Instruments now work correctly.
Sustain messages are now sent correctly when playing back regions with Clip Length enabled in cycle mode.
There is now an “Internal MIDI in” setting in the Track Inspector to allow for recording MIDI from any other software instrument or External MIDI Instrument track.
The “Send all MIDI settings” key command now sends program changes to external devices assigned to empty tracks.
Resolves an issue where 3 bytes of random MIDI data would be sent when playing back regions containing SysEx data with MIDI 2.0 disabled
New 'internal MIDI in' feature allows recording of MIDI from other tracks, including MIDI FX plug-in output and 3rd party MIDI generators.
The “Delete MIDI events outside region boundaries" key command now correctly creates a starting CC event in the region to match the last matching CC of the same type in the track.
Fixes an issue where Chase could cut off notes that are preceded by notes of the same pitch on tracks with third-party instrument plug-ins.
Editing
The Humanize transform set now works as expected when the Randomize functions for Position, Length, or Velocity are set to very small values.
The menu item Delete and Move in the Event List is now only displayed if regions are displayed in the window.
When MIDI 2.0 is selected in the Settings, clicking on an Event in the Event List no longer plays events back with MIDI 1.0 resolution.
Fixes an issue where using the Cut command in the Audio Track Editor could switch the view to another editor.
When a region in the Project Audio window is double-clicked, the Audio Track editor now opens as expected.
The content link buttons for the Piano Roll and Score show the correct color as expected when toggled using the mouse.
The Event List correctly updates to reflect changes made by using key commands to select notes in other editors.
Resolves an issue where the Velocity tool in the Piano roll could affect the values of non-note events.
Fixes an issue where applying the Transform set Double Speed could cause the notes to disappear from the Piano Roll.
Step Input
Extending the length of note entered using Step Input now works correctly.
Global Tracks
Adding multiple audio Apple Loops of the same key to different tracks of a new project now changes the project key as expected.
Clicked in Tempo points are now placed at their correct positions in projects that start earlier than 1 1 1 1.
Share and export
When No Overlap is enabled, regions bounced onto existing regions no longer overlap them.
Audio files bounced from Logic Pro now include the proper Encoded Date in the metadata.
Fixes an issue where MIDI regions could be truncated when bounced in place.
Fixes an issue where audio files including Volume/Pan automation exported from mono tracks that use plug-ins could export as stereo files.
It is now possible to bounce sub-channels of multitimbral instrument tracks as individual files.
Import
Resolves an issue when dragging multiple audio files into a project, choosing the “Place all files on one track” option could create a second track and places the first file on one track, and the rest on the second.
Output channels in the Mixer can now be imported from other Logic Pro projects.
Apple Loops
The Loops browser now correctly shows the same enharmonic key an Apple Loop was tagged with.
Apple Loops now preview using the Key Signature active at the current position of the playhead.
It's now possible to add Aliases to bookmarks and untagged loops.
Dragging an Apple Loop from the loop browser to an existing track no longer changes the input for the track.
Fixes an issue where MIDI Apple Loops could jump to the start of the nearest bar position when dragged from the Loop Browser to the middle of a bar.
Video Support
A secondary screen that is running a full screen video with Show Animations off will no longer remain black after closing the project.
Key Commands
The “Increase (or Decrease) last clicked parameter” key commands now work for controls in the LCD.
The “Record off for all” key command now works on Software Instrument tracks in cases where one or more audio tracks are also record-enabled.
There is now a key command to add to the current selection of regions or cells that are assigned to a toggle solo group.
The Zoom Toggle key command now works in the Step Editor.
Compatibility
GarageBand projects that use Pitch Correction now sound the same when opened in Logic Pro.
Undo
If Undo is used immediately after creating a project, the New Track Sheet is displayed as expected rather than leaving a project with no tracks.
Undo/Redo now works as expected with Audio Unit v3 plug-ins.
Changing the Automation Mode, or changing a Track On/Off state now creates an Undo step.
Performing Undo after adding a surround track no longer corrects Drummer tracks in the project.
Logic Remote
Logic Remote immediately updates to show time and signature changes made in Logic Pro.
Control Surfaces and MIDI controllers
Controls on Control Surface devices that use Lua scripts now provide feedback when learning assignments for them in Logic Pro.
Illuminated buttons on control surfaces now show the correct state for Show/Hide Track Editor.
General
The LCD now displays the Cycle start and end times in both SMPTE time and Bars/Beats when the secondary ruler is displayed.
Search in the All Files browser now finds matching items in bookmarked folders.
Fixes an issue where the visible editor in the Main window could unexpectedly switch when rubber-band selecting regions.
Audio Take folders created in Cycle mode now loop as expected after recording when Loop is enabled in the Region Inspector.
It's now possible to create external MIDI tracks when Core Audio is disabled in Logic Pro.
Resolves an issue where deleting a Flex marker from an audio region while a Marker List is visible could switch the key focus to the Marker List.
Track information pasted into a text editor now includes the TIME position when the Use Musical Grid setting for the project is not enabled.
Input monitoring buttons are now displayed on audio tracks when Logic Pro has fallen back to an alternate audio device because the selected device is not available.
Previewing an audio region in the Project Audio window no longer causes it to jump to the top of the window.
Command+Option clicking on the On/Off button of a track now toggles the button for all tracks, as expected.
Copy/paste of regions now works when Automation view is enabled.
Right-clicking on a looped segment of a region now opens the contextual menu as expected.
It's now easier to see when black keys are depressed in the Musical Typing window.
The right arrow key now reliably moves the text cursor in the Bounce > Save As file name panel.
Groove Templates created from audio regions now work in Smart Quantize mode.
Dragging multiple regions from the same audio file from the Project Audio browser to the Tracks area now works correctly.
Audio regions are no longer moved to unexpected positions when trimming, if absolute Snap mode is on, and the region anchor is moved away from the start of the region
Fixes an issue where pasting a Marquee selection with No Overlap and Snap Edits to Zero Crossings mode enabled could delete a non-overlapping part of an existing region.
Autozoom now triggers when a region's upper right corner is dragged in the Main window, or the Audio Track Editor.
The Playhead no longer may briefly appear to be in the wrong position when zooming horizontally.
The Time Ruler now immediately updates to reflect changes made to the “Bar Position [bar position] plays at SMPTE” setting.
The File browser correctly shows the full path when using Save As.
2024.05.13 22:51 disusedyeti78 Almost Complete list of Baby registry boxes March/April 2024
If you're interested in baby registry boxes but don't know which one to try or how to even sign up for them I have some info for you here! I got boxes/bags from Target, Walmart, Amazon, Hey Milestone, Babylist, and Similac and I'm still waiting for a box from Enfamil. I'm not an influencer or someone paid by these companies I just really like surprise boxes of stuff. I have pictures but I don't know how to add them. Anyway onto the lists.
Target:
How to get: This appears to have changed recently. According to target.com you join the Target Circle rewards, create a baby registry, add 10 items, and spend $10 from registry (either yourself of someone else). You have to pick up the bag in store with a barcode they give to you and it can be somewhat difficult to get since supplies are limited. When I did this in March all I had to do was create a registry and then go to the store to pick up the bag.
Items:
1 Philips Avent Natural Bottle
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
2 pack sample of Millie Moon Diapers
16 count sample of Huggies Natural Care wipes
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 count sample if Boogie Wipes
1 sample of Dreft scent booster for laundry
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Dapple bottle and dish soap
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 sample of Auqaphor baby ointment
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Triple Paste diaper rash cream
All coupons are through Target Circle rewards
Walmart:
How to Get: Sign up for a registry at Walmart. Click this link https://walmart.cesampling.com/babybox/soldout and fill out the form and it would be shipped to you for free. Unfortunately these boxes have been sold out since last year but maybe they will restock. I only got one because my OB’s office gave it to me at my first appointment. You’re not missing much by not getting one.
Items:
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
16 count sample pack of Huggies Natural Care Wipes
1 sample of Arm & Hammer baby laundry detergent
1 sample bottle of Johnson’s head to toe wash and shampoo
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 pack of milestone month cards
Insert cards (not coupons) for Gerber, WaterWipes, Liquid IV, Aquaphor, and Arm & Hammer
Amazon:
How to Get: Have an Amazon prime account. Create a baby registry. Add 10 items to your baby registry. Purchase $10 worth of items from registry (either yourself or someone else). Wait for the items to ship and then add the baby welcome box to your shopping cart. There should be a $35 coupon applied when you go to checkout.
1 Newborn Swaddle size 36in x 36in
1 Amazon Essentials 3-6 month onesie
1 Mam Anti-Colic Bottle and Pacifier set
1 Bessie's Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
50% off coupon for Shutterfly
10% off coupon for Amazon Essentials (items must be from a list compiled by Amazon)
$20 off coupon for Tylenol Smart check digital ear scope
$200 off Factor meal delivery service
Inserts (not coupons) for Palmers, Aquaphor, Baby Breeza, Mam bottles/pacifers
A card booklet with ideas for the registry
Hey Milestone:
How to Get: Hey Milestone is not a registry. They make three different baby boxes you can choose from and you just pay shipping. If you’re considering multiple boxes it’s best to get them all at once because the shipping will be cheaper. Shipping for one was $12.99. I only got one, the pregnancy box, so I can't tell you what you may expect from the other two. Check them out here: https://www.heymilestone.com/
Items:
1 full size Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier
1 Herobility 5 oz bottle
1 sample pack of Bamba peanut butter puffs
1 Kudos diaper with 10% off coupon
1 Dr Browns pacifier
1 Nanobebe hospital go-bag kit (includes pacifier, 2 breastmilk bags, 2 nursing pads, 20% off coupon)
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 Preggie Pop
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
10 count sample pack of Zahler prenatal vitamins
1 sample of Bella B nipple butter
1 sample of Bella B cradle cap be gone shampoo
1 sample tube of Eucerin baby sunscreen
1 count sample of Jack n Jill baby gum and tooth wipes
1 nail file with info for Mother’s Milk Bank
10% off coupon for Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier from Amazon
$130 off good chop meat delivery
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
$1 off Bamba snacks
1 insert for Forsite 350 genetic testing
Babylist:
How to Get: This one is by far the most involved process. Create a registry on Babylist. Enter in your baby’s due date, you address, and first and last name. Add three items from the Babylist shop. Add three items from other stores (you can do this by putting a plug-in from the website on Chrome or Firefox. More detailed instructions on the website). Complete 40% of your registry checklist (you can do this by just checking items off yourself). Spend $30 from your registry at the babylist store (either yourself of someone else). The $30 must be spent on items from the babylist store! Once these things are done you can pay $8.95 for shipping or you can chose simple shipping and it’s free.
Items:
1 Herobility 5oz bottle
1 Philips Avent Natural bottle
1 Monica and Andy baby hat
1 Small Story 0-3 month onesie and 20% off coupon
1 Parker bib with 15% off coupon and a chance to win $200 giveaway
1 Nanobebe first pacifier
2 pack sample of Kudos diapers with 10% off coupon
2 pack sample of Healthy Baby diapers
2 pack sample of Parasol diapers
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
10 count pack of motif medical breastmilk bags and 15% off coupon
1 sample tube of Noodle & Boo body wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Noodle and Boo lotion
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Wellements probiotic and $15 off coupon
1 sample tube of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Desitin
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Bird&Be vitamins and 15% off coupon
1 sample bottle of Vivi & Bloom body wash and shampoo
2 samples of Triple Paste diaper rash ointment and $2 off coupon
Coupon for a free onesie from Oso and Me ($32 value)
Coupon for free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for a free will from Trust & Will
Coupon for free Swaddle from Little Unicorn
1 insert for babylist health for information on free breast pumps
Similac:
How to Get: Sign up to my Similac rewards at https://www.similac.com/rewards.html . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use though and don't put in your phone number.
Items:
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care formula
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care Sensitive formula
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for 1 free session at JC Penny portraits and 1 free 8 x 10 print
Coupons for $50 off Similac formula (They will send more in the mail once you use these)
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
Coupon for 50% off Shutterly
Coupon for $20 off Lovevery play kits
Coupon for $3 off Pedialyte
A collection of 12 gift cards to places I’ve never heard of ranging from $60-$30
Enfamil:
How to get:
Sign up for Enfamil Beginnings at https://www.enfamil.com/baby-formula-coupons-samples/ . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use and don’t put in your phone number. I’m still waiting on my Wonder Box to come. They tend to ship close to your due date so I may get it soon.
Overall thoughts: I enjoyed the fun of going through the boxes to see what I got. The Walmart one is no great loss to anyone not able to get one. I was disappointed with the Amazon one because I expected it to be a bit better based on what others had gotten. Plus I didn’t get the Dude Wipes people were getting and I was looking forward to them lol. The Babylist box was the best of the bunch, which is good considering the hoops you have to jump through to get it. Hey Milestone was great for the butt paste and bottle alone. I was also really pleased with the Target bag. These are just the things I got and each box/bag may be different.
submitted by disusedyeti78 to pregnant [link] [comments]
Target:
How to get: This appears to have changed recently. According to target.com you join the Target Circle rewards, create a baby registry, add 10 items, and spend $10 from registry (either yourself of someone else). You have to pick up the bag in store with a barcode they give to you and it can be somewhat difficult to get since supplies are limited. When I did this in March all I had to do was create a registry and then go to the store to pick up the bag.
Items:
1 Philips Avent Natural Bottle
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
2 pack sample of Millie Moon Diapers
16 count sample of Huggies Natural Care wipes
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 count sample if Boogie Wipes
1 sample of Dreft scent booster for laundry
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Dapple bottle and dish soap
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 sample of Auqaphor baby ointment
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Triple Paste diaper rash cream
All coupons are through Target Circle rewards
Walmart:
How to Get: Sign up for a registry at Walmart. Click this link https://walmart.cesampling.com/babybox/soldout and fill out the form and it would be shipped to you for free. Unfortunately these boxes have been sold out since last year but maybe they will restock. I only got one because my OB’s office gave it to me at my first appointment. You’re not missing much by not getting one.
Items:
1 Dr Browns Anti-Colic Bottle
3 pack sample of Huggies Special Delivery Diapers
16 count sample pack of Huggies Natural Care Wipes
1 sample of Arm & Hammer baby laundry detergent
1 sample bottle of Johnson’s head to toe wash and shampoo
1 sample bottle of Aveno baby wash and shampoo
1 pack of milestone month cards
Insert cards (not coupons) for Gerber, WaterWipes, Liquid IV, Aquaphor, and Arm & Hammer
Amazon:
How to Get: Have an Amazon prime account. Create a baby registry. Add 10 items to your baby registry. Purchase $10 worth of items from registry (either yourself or someone else). Wait for the items to ship and then add the baby welcome box to your shopping cart. There should be a $35 coupon applied when you go to checkout.
1 Newborn Swaddle size 36in x 36in
1 Amazon Essentials 3-6 month onesie
1 Mam Anti-Colic Bottle and Pacifier set
1 Bessie's Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
50% off coupon for Shutterfly
10% off coupon for Amazon Essentials (items must be from a list compiled by Amazon)
$20 off coupon for Tylenol Smart check digital ear scope
$200 off Factor meal delivery service
Inserts (not coupons) for Palmers, Aquaphor, Baby Breeza, Mam bottles/pacifers
A card booklet with ideas for the registry
Hey Milestone:
How to Get: Hey Milestone is not a registry. They make three different baby boxes you can choose from and you just pay shipping. If you’re considering multiple boxes it’s best to get them all at once because the shipping will be cheaper. Shipping for one was $12.99. I only got one, the pregnancy box, so I can't tell you what you may expect from the other two. Check them out here: https://www.heymilestone.com/
Items:
1 full size Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier
1 Herobility 5 oz bottle
1 sample pack of Bamba peanut butter puffs
1 Kudos diaper with 10% off coupon
1 Dr Browns pacifier
1 Nanobebe hospital go-bag kit (includes pacifier, 2 breastmilk bags, 2 nursing pads, 20% off coupon)
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 Preggie Pop
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
10 count sample pack of Zahler prenatal vitamins
1 sample of Bella B nipple butter
1 sample of Bella B cradle cap be gone shampoo
1 sample tube of Eucerin baby sunscreen
1 count sample of Jack n Jill baby gum and tooth wipes
1 nail file with info for Mother’s Milk Bank
10% off coupon for Boudreaux’s Butt Paste butt barrier from Amazon
$130 off good chop meat delivery
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
$1 off Bamba snacks
1 insert for Forsite 350 genetic testing
Babylist:
How to Get: This one is by far the most involved process. Create a registry on Babylist. Enter in your baby’s due date, you address, and first and last name. Add three items from the Babylist shop. Add three items from other stores (you can do this by putting a plug-in from the website on Chrome or Firefox. More detailed instructions on the website). Complete 40% of your registry checklist (you can do this by just checking items off yourself). Spend $30 from your registry at the babylist store (either yourself of someone else). The $30 must be spent on items from the babylist store! Once these things are done you can pay $8.95 for shipping or you can chose simple shipping and it’s free.
Items:
1 Herobility 5oz bottle
1 Philips Avent Natural bottle
1 Monica and Andy baby hat
1 Small Story 0-3 month onesie and 20% off coupon
1 Parker bib with 15% off coupon and a chance to win $200 giveaway
1 Nanobebe first pacifier
2 pack sample of Kudos diapers with 10% off coupon
2 pack sample of Healthy Baby diapers
2 pack sample of Parasol diapers
10 count sample of Honest plant based wipes
10 count sample of Water Wipes
10 count pack of motif medical breastmilk bags and 15% off coupon
1 sample tube of Noodle & Boo body wash and shampoo
1 sample tube of Noodle and Boo lotion
1 Bessie’s Best lactation cookie
2 count sample of Lansinho breastmilk storage bags
2 count sample of Lansinho disposable nursing pads
1 sample of Wellements probiotic and $15 off coupon
1 sample tube of Aquaphor baby ointment
1 sample of Desitin
1 sample of Palmers skin therapy oil
1 sample of Palmers stretch mark lotion
1 sample of Bird&Be vitamins and 15% off coupon
1 sample bottle of Vivi & Bloom body wash and shampoo
2 samples of Triple Paste diaper rash ointment and $2 off coupon
Coupon for a free onesie from Oso and Me ($32 value)
Coupon for free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for a free will from Trust & Will
Coupon for free Swaddle from Little Unicorn
1 insert for babylist health for information on free breast pumps
Similac:
How to Get: Sign up to my Similac rewards at https://www.similac.com/rewards.html . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use though and don't put in your phone number.
Items:
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care formula
1 7 oz can of Similac 360 Total Care Sensitive formula
1 sample of Pedialyte
1 free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly
Coupon for 1 free session at JC Penny portraits and 1 free 8 x 10 print
Coupons for $50 off Similac formula (They will send more in the mail once you use these)
16 free meals from Hello Fresh
Coupon for 50% off Shutterly
Coupon for $20 off Lovevery play kits
Coupon for $3 off Pedialyte
A collection of 12 gift cards to places I’ve never heard of ranging from $60-$30
Enfamil:
How to get:
Sign up for Enfamil Beginnings at https://www.enfamil.com/baby-formula-coupons-samples/ . It’s completely free. I do recommend using an email you rarely use and don’t put in your phone number. I’m still waiting on my Wonder Box to come. They tend to ship close to your due date so I may get it soon.
Overall thoughts: I enjoyed the fun of going through the boxes to see what I got. The Walmart one is no great loss to anyone not able to get one. I was disappointed with the Amazon one because I expected it to be a bit better based on what others had gotten. Plus I didn’t get the Dude Wipes people were getting and I was looking forward to them lol. The Babylist box was the best of the bunch, which is good considering the hoops you have to jump through to get it. Hey Milestone was great for the butt paste and bottle alone. I was also really pleased with the Target bag. These are just the things I got and each box/bag may be different.
2024.05.13 22:31 ThatOtherShore Essential for Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse: External Improvement!
We’ve talked a lot about the internal work that must be done to heal and recover from the horrors of narcissistic abuse. But what often gets left out is that the internal work, while essential, is only half of the new circle you are drawing for your life. The other half of the circle can only be drawn in by making positive external improvements to your life situation.
If your life is NOT measurably worse now, you are financially where you want to be, you are healthy and fit, your career & activities are fulfilling you with purpose, you have great friends, and you are working on actionable goals to keep growing, then this post is not for you. Great job and carry on!
If your life is measurably worse now than it was during the ‘relationship’, then I highly recommend you think about this message:
Measurable, Practical Realities of Life: What Would Actually Make Your Life Better?
If your measurable, practical realities of daily life- finances, career, health/fitness, friendships, actionable goals for the future- are worse off after leaving the relationship, you MUST take action to improve all of them by taking disciplined action consistently over time, IF you actually want to heal and recover fully.
Don’t be a perfectionist or think you can magically change it overnight. But do get on a real road to making the changes that will earn positive outcomes for yourself. Learning how to love yourself means wanting your life to go well and improve! I know it’s weird to have to say that, but people recovering from codependency really need to strengthen this muscle of self-interested action. It was so strange to notice in myself that I didn’t even know what I wanted when another person was not around telling me what I should want. It took a real change of locus to become sovereign over my own life, my own choices, and to learn what it is that I would want for myself whether anyone else is around or not!
This can start by simply allowing yourself to meditate on what it is that you DO want for your life. Not everyone’s values are the same, so there is no right or wrong answer, only YOUR answer. I just know that living in substandard, impoverished or stressful financial conditions, being unhealthy and sedentary, and not having an exciting plan for your life is a condition that will make recovery and transformation close to impossible. You can only do the best you can today without unnecessary pressure or expectation. Just start by coming up with a plan for the immediate future and exert your will to make shit happen for yourself! I mean it. It’s crucial.
You can do all of the internal work in the world to process your emotions, try to let go of anger and process your grief. You are worthy of love and respect today as you are, because you a human being with a good heart who has been treated terribly and victimized by evil behavior from someone else. But if your life objectively sucks, then I wouldn’t expect to feel better anytime soon.
Your sense of confidence, self-worth, and ability to create new successes, new relationships, new memories, and a new life that has nothing to do with your past cannot develop if you are staying stuck in a bad living situation. Be realistic and compassionate with yourself, and allow the time necessary to see some progress, but do get moving.
The Good News!
As hard as it is doing the internal work of grief, acceptance, processing anger, unwinding your own codependent patterns and family history, the good news is that you don’t need to have ‘finished’ those before you start going into the outside world and making positive changes for yourself.
You can look at your external work as a nice break from all of those heavy, sad emotions. Realize that a lot of that anger and heartbreak and sadness will sort itself out when your external life situation improves to a degree that you are now objectively BETTER OFF than you were during the relationship. The real key to healing and transformation is this combination of internal growth and external measurable success. They feed off each other in positive-reinforcement. All the little successes you pile up day-by-day start building your confidence back up, you sense of pride in work well done, your sense of worth and optimism about the future- all of it develops when you can see evidence of improvement.
So if you are finding it slow going and frustrating on the emotional front, if you’re having more trouble letting go of that person or that relationship than you expected, I know it sucks and it can improve with time and dedication to healing. But you really have nothing to lose by STILL choosing to better the other parts of your life right? How would it make it worse if you made more money so that your financial stress disappeared? How would it make it worse if you set some real world goals with your career, work, or passion projects that would improve your life and achieved them? How would it make it worse if you jumped into a disciplined fitness program of your choosing and got in the best shape of your life in the next year? I think you get my drift. If things are really sucking in your life, the best part of that is that you have not much to lose by saying FUCK IT! and just going for it in other areas.
Bottom Line
This does NOT mean that one should neglect the inner spiritual, emotional, and maturation work. Money, success, and the external trappings of life do not bring happiness on their own. But they DO matter greatly, so we need to not lie about that or become too ethereal about all of this. I’m arguing for a healthy balance that gives attention to the outer reality of your life so that you don’t get lost in never-ending therapy, an old tired story from the past, and overindulging in victimhood.
When you find a good balance between doing the internal therapeutic work and the external outer world success, you have the magic formula for transforming your life. This will help you become a new version of yourself more aligned with your inner truth, your values, your talents and gifts, so that you become someone who knows how to stand up for yourself and take action in pursuit of positive outcomes.
Letting go of anger is one of the most challenging parts I’ve found people have with the healing process. They can completely get over caring about the person, see the cold hard truth, and cut them off completely. But the anger and resentment really does burn people up inside, even years afterward, if they haven’t moved the needle on their own life. It is amazing how making your life better and succeeding in areas you used to fail in can make your anger seem unnecessary and irrelevant. Why? Because now you are stronger. You’ve built something admirable and successful for yourself and you don’t need anyone’s approval but your own and the support of those who truly care about you.
When you can sit back one day in the not-too-distant future and honestly say, ”By all measures, my life is leaps and bounds better today than it was back then,” you can tell me at that point how you are feeling emotionally and how much trouble you’re having moving forward.
Note: Just as people get themselves professional help for mental health/emotional issues, it can very wise to find a qualified person who can help you get going with your practical life issues if that is an area where you have struggled to pull it together. There are also tons of free information out there about this, so you can do your own research and find some good strategies.
submitted by ThatOtherShore to NewTongues [link] [comments]
If your life is NOT measurably worse now, you are financially where you want to be, you are healthy and fit, your career & activities are fulfilling you with purpose, you have great friends, and you are working on actionable goals to keep growing, then this post is not for you. Great job and carry on!
If your life is measurably worse now than it was during the ‘relationship’, then I highly recommend you think about this message:
Measurable, Practical Realities of Life: What Would Actually Make Your Life Better?
If your measurable, practical realities of daily life- finances, career, health/fitness, friendships, actionable goals for the future- are worse off after leaving the relationship, you MUST take action to improve all of them by taking disciplined action consistently over time, IF you actually want to heal and recover fully.
Don’t be a perfectionist or think you can magically change it overnight. But do get on a real road to making the changes that will earn positive outcomes for yourself. Learning how to love yourself means wanting your life to go well and improve! I know it’s weird to have to say that, but people recovering from codependency really need to strengthen this muscle of self-interested action. It was so strange to notice in myself that I didn’t even know what I wanted when another person was not around telling me what I should want. It took a real change of locus to become sovereign over my own life, my own choices, and to learn what it is that I would want for myself whether anyone else is around or not!
This can start by simply allowing yourself to meditate on what it is that you DO want for your life. Not everyone’s values are the same, so there is no right or wrong answer, only YOUR answer. I just know that living in substandard, impoverished or stressful financial conditions, being unhealthy and sedentary, and not having an exciting plan for your life is a condition that will make recovery and transformation close to impossible. You can only do the best you can today without unnecessary pressure or expectation. Just start by coming up with a plan for the immediate future and exert your will to make shit happen for yourself! I mean it. It’s crucial.
You can do all of the internal work in the world to process your emotions, try to let go of anger and process your grief. You are worthy of love and respect today as you are, because you a human being with a good heart who has been treated terribly and victimized by evil behavior from someone else. But if your life objectively sucks, then I wouldn’t expect to feel better anytime soon.
Your sense of confidence, self-worth, and ability to create new successes, new relationships, new memories, and a new life that has nothing to do with your past cannot develop if you are staying stuck in a bad living situation. Be realistic and compassionate with yourself, and allow the time necessary to see some progress, but do get moving.
The Good News!
As hard as it is doing the internal work of grief, acceptance, processing anger, unwinding your own codependent patterns and family history, the good news is that you don’t need to have ‘finished’ those before you start going into the outside world and making positive changes for yourself.
You can look at your external work as a nice break from all of those heavy, sad emotions. Realize that a lot of that anger and heartbreak and sadness will sort itself out when your external life situation improves to a degree that you are now objectively BETTER OFF than you were during the relationship. The real key to healing and transformation is this combination of internal growth and external measurable success. They feed off each other in positive-reinforcement. All the little successes you pile up day-by-day start building your confidence back up, you sense of pride in work well done, your sense of worth and optimism about the future- all of it develops when you can see evidence of improvement.
So if you are finding it slow going and frustrating on the emotional front, if you’re having more trouble letting go of that person or that relationship than you expected, I know it sucks and it can improve with time and dedication to healing. But you really have nothing to lose by STILL choosing to better the other parts of your life right? How would it make it worse if you made more money so that your financial stress disappeared? How would it make it worse if you set some real world goals with your career, work, or passion projects that would improve your life and achieved them? How would it make it worse if you jumped into a disciplined fitness program of your choosing and got in the best shape of your life in the next year? I think you get my drift. If things are really sucking in your life, the best part of that is that you have not much to lose by saying FUCK IT! and just going for it in other areas.
Bottom Line
This does NOT mean that one should neglect the inner spiritual, emotional, and maturation work. Money, success, and the external trappings of life do not bring happiness on their own. But they DO matter greatly, so we need to not lie about that or become too ethereal about all of this. I’m arguing for a healthy balance that gives attention to the outer reality of your life so that you don’t get lost in never-ending therapy, an old tired story from the past, and overindulging in victimhood.
When you find a good balance between doing the internal therapeutic work and the external outer world success, you have the magic formula for transforming your life. This will help you become a new version of yourself more aligned with your inner truth, your values, your talents and gifts, so that you become someone who knows how to stand up for yourself and take action in pursuit of positive outcomes.
Letting go of anger is one of the most challenging parts I’ve found people have with the healing process. They can completely get over caring about the person, see the cold hard truth, and cut them off completely. But the anger and resentment really does burn people up inside, even years afterward, if they haven’t moved the needle on their own life. It is amazing how making your life better and succeeding in areas you used to fail in can make your anger seem unnecessary and irrelevant. Why? Because now you are stronger. You’ve built something admirable and successful for yourself and you don’t need anyone’s approval but your own and the support of those who truly care about you.
When you can sit back one day in the not-too-distant future and honestly say, ”By all measures, my life is leaps and bounds better today than it was back then,” you can tell me at that point how you are feeling emotionally and how much trouble you’re having moving forward.
Note: Just as people get themselves professional help for mental health/emotional issues, it can very wise to find a qualified person who can help you get going with your practical life issues if that is an area where you have struggled to pull it together. There are also tons of free information out there about this, so you can do your own research and find some good strategies.
2024.05.13 22:30 Tricky-Sprinkles-807 Pain, but no one can see to find a cause
36 y/o Female, around 165 lbs
I’m basically looking for any advice possible
About a year ago I started having some pain in my right shoulder area. Initially, I assumed it was muscle pain, but after about a month of constant pain no matter what I did (massage, ibuprofen, etc) I realized something else was likely going on
My husband and I were in the process of moving across a few states, so I didn’t actually talk to a doctor about it until about six months after the pain started when it was to the point I was in tears, and went to urgent care. They told me to use lidocaine patches and sent me to sports medicine
Sports medicine had me do physical therapy, and ordered an MRI of my cervical spine, which showed a herniated disc with mild spinal stenosis in c5-c6 and a herniated disc with moderate-severe spinal stenosis in c6-c7. The MRI was ordered because I had started to experience a constant painfully cold feeling down my right arm
Sports medicine sent me to a neurosurgeon who was awful, so I’ll skip that guy. But then my doctor (who personally knew how awful the other guy was) sent me to a different neurosurgeon
The new neurosurgeon is great, but said he can’t see any nerve compression on the MRI. He did make a note in my chart that says I have weakness in my right hand, and increased reflex in my right leg. He’s referring me to pain management, but I can’t see them until the end of July. Im so tired of being in pain, it seems hopelessly far away. He also ordered an EMG, but they haven’t scheduled it yet
I should also mention I’ve already had a cervical epidural which was zero help, dry needling (no help) and I’ve been on oral steroids and muscle relaxers. The steroids helped a little bit, but they were short term. I also use lidocaine patches daily, and sometimes I’m probably using it too often, but I’m desperate. I’m also still taking ibuprofen
If this isn’t nerve pain from the discs, what else could it be? And could the MRI have possibly missed a pinched nerve? Things just keep getting worse as time goes by, I’m now have trouble with my thumb and index finger going numb and feeling really stiff. I’m so worried they’re never going to find an answer and I’m just going to live in pain for the rest of my life
Thank you for reading
submitted by Tricky-Sprinkles-807 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I’m basically looking for any advice possible
About a year ago I started having some pain in my right shoulder area. Initially, I assumed it was muscle pain, but after about a month of constant pain no matter what I did (massage, ibuprofen, etc) I realized something else was likely going on
My husband and I were in the process of moving across a few states, so I didn’t actually talk to a doctor about it until about six months after the pain started when it was to the point I was in tears, and went to urgent care. They told me to use lidocaine patches and sent me to sports medicine
Sports medicine had me do physical therapy, and ordered an MRI of my cervical spine, which showed a herniated disc with mild spinal stenosis in c5-c6 and a herniated disc with moderate-severe spinal stenosis in c6-c7. The MRI was ordered because I had started to experience a constant painfully cold feeling down my right arm
Sports medicine sent me to a neurosurgeon who was awful, so I’ll skip that guy. But then my doctor (who personally knew how awful the other guy was) sent me to a different neurosurgeon
The new neurosurgeon is great, but said he can’t see any nerve compression on the MRI. He did make a note in my chart that says I have weakness in my right hand, and increased reflex in my right leg. He’s referring me to pain management, but I can’t see them until the end of July. Im so tired of being in pain, it seems hopelessly far away. He also ordered an EMG, but they haven’t scheduled it yet
I should also mention I’ve already had a cervical epidural which was zero help, dry needling (no help) and I’ve been on oral steroids and muscle relaxers. The steroids helped a little bit, but they were short term. I also use lidocaine patches daily, and sometimes I’m probably using it too often, but I’m desperate. I’m also still taking ibuprofen
If this isn’t nerve pain from the discs, what else could it be? And could the MRI have possibly missed a pinched nerve? Things just keep getting worse as time goes by, I’m now have trouble with my thumb and index finger going numb and feeling really stiff. I’m so worried they’re never going to find an answer and I’m just going to live in pain for the rest of my life
Thank you for reading
2024.05.13 22:26 Mikazah This week's grocery haul: I got paid $0.61 to take $20 worth of Butter, Mac n Cheese, Energy Drinks, and Sparkling Water!
Here are the goodies.
I am excited about the butter. It's dairy free, and you can't tell the difference for most of the baked goods I make!Total: $19.84
Coupons: None!
Total Cash Back: $20.45
Final Cost: -$0.61 - Money Maker
Here is the complete break down and sites used. The stores are listed in the breakdown image. I don't include sites that take any receipt on my breakdown.
Note: Individual deals vary by user for most apps. If you don't have the deals right now, you can try checking back later.
My Guides
- All rebate apps/sites I use and/or know about
- How I do my hauls
- Beginners guide to using rebate apps/sites - for those who don't know where to start
If you aren't interested in this kind of thing, please keep your comments to yourself. If you don't like what I buy, you can buy different products. If you don't like hunting for deals, you can do surveys, microtasks, games or whatever else you like instead. There is no need to discourage other users just because you aren't interested in the same things!
If you don't need feminine hygiene products, toothpaste, soaps, etc - consider donating them to your local women's shelter, church, or school!
Some Additional Deals
- Stem Fly Trap Starter Kit - Money maker after IB + SB
- $10 back on 7 Kellogg's Products (specific products only) - Military Commissaries only - Refund is a digital gift card (includes Prepaid visa - view the website for all the options) - Expires 5/31/24 - (Thanks to u/Kicker774 for mentioning it!)
- Nature Valley Wafer or Breakfast Bars (specific products) - Free after Rebate - PayPal or Venmo - Void in CT, RI, ND, and Miami Dade County - Expires 8/31/24
- Nature Valley Lunch Box Bars, Mott's Baked Bars, Fiber One Donuts (specific products) - Free after Rebate - PayPal or Venmo - Void in CT, RI, ND, and Miami Dade County - Expires 8/31/24
- Fresh Fizz - Free can at Fresh Thyme - Venmo or PayPal
- Painterland Sisters Yogurt - Free at Whole Foods (PA, VA, MD, DC) - Venmo or PayPal
- Pepsi - Free after Rebate. Expires 6/17/24
- Tru Water - Free can at Walmart - Venmo or PayPal
- Cheesecake Factory GC - $10 bonus card when you buy a $50 one - Expires 5/12
- Fromm Diner Can - Free after coupon. (It's pet food)
- Painterland Sisters Yogurt - Free after rebate. PayPal or Venmo. Whole Foods only.
- Beneful - IB + SK
- Suja Protein Shake - Free at Target in-store or online.
- Coffee (Any?) - You get a coupon for up to $10 in free coffee when you buy 3 participating special K cereals. I don't see anything mentioned about specific brands, but I also don't quite know how it works. - Expires 5/30/24
- Gooey - Free after rebate - Venmo/PayPal - (It says Walmart at the top, but it also says "from any store")
- Perfect Bar - One free bar - PayPal, Venmo, Amazon - Rebates are often instant
- CHKP - Free after Aisle - Fairway, Whole Foods, ShopRite
- Dr Elsey's Cat Litter - Up to $22 back on a bag up to 40 lbs when you purchase at Target, Walmart, or a local business pet store. You need to cut out the barcode and mail it in with the receipt. One rebate per person/household/address. Must submit within 90 days. There's also a handful of $1 coupons on this page.
- Free bag of Like Air Puffcorn - Refund via PayPal or Venmo. Must purchase in-store or for curbside pickup. Expiration date unknown.
- Kellogg's Promotions - Various stuff ranging from coupons for free products, movie tickets, various merchandise, and more.
- Various Sampoll offers
- Offers on Aisle Referrals: Halfday Rockstar - Buy 2 get $5 back. No gas purchase needed. Can do every other week. Free HOP Water (using my ref will give me another rebate offer) Pays out via PayPal or Venmo
- Various freebies on Ibotta.
- Various deals I've done in previous weeks can still be done.
Afterthoughts
Small haul for a small bonus today. I put together that part of the haul last night, and once I saw the $5 / 10 bonus, I completely forgot to check every other app, haha. Technically a slight profit loss meeting my IB bonus today, but that's okay because I'm making progress towards my bigger bonus. If I were to prorate that bonus, that'd be an extra $4.52, so it's definitely worth it.My Beneful finally stopped resetting, unfortunately. Hopefully the Mac a Roni and butter keep resetting. I was going to get a couple other things too just to work towards my big bonus, but my store was out. I'll be going out of town later this week, so maybe I'll get lucky and find some good deals at stores that aren't around here.
Time Spent
I glanced at IB last night for like 5-10 minutes. I was planning to finish planning the haul today, but I didn't need to find any more deals. I was in the store for 50 minutes today, which included my regular shopping as well as browsing through the plants and clearance aisles.Food From Deals
Here's an idea: Mix up a white cheddar Mac a Roni, with your choice of ham, sausage, chicken, pork, or one of the vegan meat alternatives. Add a little soy sauce, and some green peas if you wish. You could even add some extra butter and milk (or plant based milk) to make it a bit creamier. Serve with a slice of buttered toast or some Jasmine Rice. Perhaps make a little Banana bread for dessert. (Note: Everything mentioned has Ibotta deals available.)Here's some things I've made in the past: High Protein Tomato Crackers, Hot Sausage Cups, Peanut Butter Fudge & Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge, Chocolate Cherry Pie
Do you guys want me to continue showing things I've made using ingredients I got from rebate apps on these posts? Let me know in the comments, or you can vote on this poll if you want to remain anonymous.
Mini FAQ
- If you're new or confused - check out the guides near the top of the post. They go into detail about everything.
- I'm from the USA and these posts are tailored as such, but this post of mine does list things from other countries that I know about.
- My posts are tailored to being money makers to suit this subreddit. There are tons of great deals that aren't money makers but can still save you a lot of money.
- A lot of what I get is given away to friends, family or is donated. I do this more as a hobby than anything.
- I generally do not share my spreadsheet since the one shown in this post is not the one I actually use (it's put together with a script from my usual spreadsheet) and there are a ton of little things that will give you wrong values if you don't know about them and even then you have to be careful. It's super easy to make a spreadsheet with Google Sheets though.
2024.05.13 22:07 sjoebalka Obtaining ISO 13485 as contract manufacturer
Looking for your opinions on this odd request.
We are in kind of a funny situation. We have a unique manufacturing process and people ask us to do contact manufacturing for their medical devices. So far so good…. At the same time we are also a tiny starting company with just 4 people and to date no existing ‘company processes’. Just some SOPs and safety instructions, other than that we are completely free from any burdens of existing workflows.
How could we get ISO 13485 certified fastest and easiest? Please note the scope is only contact manufacturing (including some purchasing, manufacturing and shipment). We don’t do design and we are not a legal manufacturer.
submitted by sjoebalka to regulatoryaffairs [link] [comments]
We are in kind of a funny situation. We have a unique manufacturing process and people ask us to do contact manufacturing for their medical devices. So far so good…. At the same time we are also a tiny starting company with just 4 people and to date no existing ‘company processes’. Just some SOPs and safety instructions, other than that we are completely free from any burdens of existing workflows.
How could we get ISO 13485 certified fastest and easiest? Please note the scope is only contact manufacturing (including some purchasing, manufacturing and shipment). We don’t do design and we are not a legal manufacturer.
- are there good sources for templates, checklists and blueprints?
- for manufacturing only; go for a good ERP with quality, asset management, inventory, plm already included? Or still consider specialized QMS software (like Greenlight guru)?
- would you recommend consultants or is it manageable with such a small scope?
2024.05.13 21:38 tttttt20 Not sure which way to go
 | I got the attached approval from insurance. It appears they are only authorizing 2 injections per month? My dr prescribed one injection per week. The prescription is subject to a $1600 deductible, and then I pay 30% of the cost which is about $400 per month. But if I only get two injections why would I do that? Then I have to face the availability hurdle. submitted by tttttt20 to SemaglutideFreeSpeech [link] [comments] I don’t know whether to abandon this avenue and go for compounded semaglutide or try to stick with what I was prescribed. If I decide to try compounded semaglutide because I will be paying more anyway. Do I need to start the process over or since I have the Wegovy rx can I just go to a pharmacy that will compound it? Can you switch back and forth? |
2024.05.13 21:32 cowzilla3 The Great Spice Off: Crowne & Crane The Spice
Hello and welcome to a very special installment of The Great Spice Off! What is The Great Spice Off?
I love the scent of Old Spice, so much so that it's the only aftershave I use as I don't really feel a need to splash anything else on. But, as we all know, Old Spice no longer makes shaving soap. They do still make a cream but that's hardly a great soap and it doesn't actually smell like Old Spice. As such my plan is to test out all the Old Spice options that are out there on as many bases as possible both to try out a variety of bases from different soapmakers and to report back to you on who really nails the scent.
I'll be shaving three times with each soap, using a variety of brushes and razors, and blades. Yes, I know that means it won't be exactly scientific but this is going to take a while and I want to use all my other shit too. Soaps will be rated on a few factors and given points from 1-5 for each.
Record Scratch. Double Take. Wuuuuuuuh!???
So you're asking yourself what the heck is an Old Spice LE. Well, despite what most think, Old Spice has had many scents over the years and almost none of them are riffs or new twists on their original Old Spice scent. Old Spice, the company/brand, made a plethora of scents throughout the history of producing Old Spice that, while all fell in the kind of old fashioned scenting category, had nothing to do with what we think of as Old Spice. Old Spice LE was one of these scents. From the dating I can find online, it was released sometime in the early 90s and stuck around for a chunk of that decade and possibly into the 2000s. It's also possible it was a scent released every couple of years as I can see a few different bottle versions. I don't actually know that much about it, have never smelled the original myself, and the Internet is not actually full of Old Spice product history let alone a defunct aftershave from the early 90s.
Whatever the history, what appears to be consistent is that it came in a clear bottle and was called Limited Edition. It also featured a base of amber, cedar, and woods with supporting notes of cardamom, lavender, moss, and jasmine, and citrus top notes. As you can see, aside from the citrus, it doesn't have all the much in common with Old Spice but that hasn't stopped a fragrance seller from selling a dupe of the discontinued scent for those who may still be looking for it. And so, there are soapers out there who pick this scent up for whatever reason instead of actual Old Spice. Actually, there are only two and Crowne & Crane are the only ones I can find doing it intentionally (more on that in a future review). They're also naming it The Spice, which is a little misleading considering the only spice scent in it is cardamon and given the lavender, citrus, and moss present its clearly intended to be somewhat of a fougère. The Spice, I think we can all agree, is not the name anyone would give a fougère.
So why then am I even reviewing it? That is like asking why do people climb Everest? Why do athletes push their body to the extremes? Why does the woodchuck chuck wood? If these questions could be answered then perhaps I could answer why I am reviewing this. But they can't be.
Crowne & Crane was founded in 2016 by Karl and Liz, whose last names I can't find so we'll call them Karl Crowne and Liz Crane. Karl was an enthusiast it looks like before going into the ol' soapmaking business and, being founded pre-2020, is officially an ol' timer in the artisan soap industry. Despite that longevity they aren't really all that popular around these parts with u/PhilosphicalZombie and u/loudmusicboy literally being the only two folks who appear to use them regularly if at all. I'd say that's maybe because they're not just a shave soap company but Stirling isn't either so that logic kind of flies out the window. Then again, we're a bunch of grown men and women telling other people how we removed hair from our bodies on a daily basis. Logic means nothing here.
Crowne & Crane have two bases, vegan and tallow. Most of their soaps are in tallow only and that's what The Spice comes in so that's what we're working with here. Of note is a commitment to organic, humanely-raised cows for the beef tallow, which is always a plus in my book (and sustainably sourced palm oil). The soap itself is kind of dry and chalky, not in a bad way and it wasn't hard or falling apart. It's a soft, dry soap, which are not contradictory things. The base is made up of Potassium Tallowate, Sodium Tallowate, Potassium Stearate, Sodium Stearate, Aloe Vera Juice, Potassium Cocoate, Sodium Cocoate, Phthalate-Free Fragrance, Potassium Shea Butterate, Sodium Shea Butterate, Kokum Butter, Sodium Lactate, Glycerin, Lanolin, Tussah Silk. Nothing to much to comment on here except I can't stop saying the word tussah over and over in my head. It's a weird word and now it doesn't feel real I've said it so much. Tu... ssah. Tooo suuuhhh...
The labeling is a nice vintage boat symbol, which, again, is a bit misleading given the LE branding was very much a modern (for the 90s) Old Spice look, not the classic schooner branding of the OG Old Spice. If you weren't paying attention (*cough* me *cough*) you might just order this thinking you got an Old Spice dupe and open the lid to find you most assuredly did not. Well, open the lid is a bad description as I bought their 3 oz puck option instead of the 5 oz jar and it came wrapped in paper. 3 oz, by the way, is a great mid-price option that gives you more than a tiny sample but not a full plastic tub. I'd be perfectly happy to have other shaving companies offer this... please... please... there's so much soap under my sink. So... much... soap.
(Sidenote: if you are looking to get their soaps, do it quick as they're going on hiatus during a move in two days!)
Oldness: 0
As a scent not designed to smell like Old Spice this one knocks it out of the park. In fact, it does such a great job not smelling like Old Spice I'd put it up there with some of the greatest scents that don't smell like Old Spice ever made. Have a scent that doesnt's smell like Old Spice that you love? This one smells as much not like Old Spice as that one does! If you're looking for something that doesn't smell like Old Spice but has the word Spice featured in its name and the words "Old" and "Spice" in the description next to each other than this is the soap for you.
Spiciness: 3
This is actually a pretty solid scent even if its called The Spice but isn't really a spicy scent at all. It's definitely a vintage scent, though, and reminds me a bit of Seaforth! Spiced but not as good. Because of that I'm going to say that it still captures a bit of that classic feel that Old Spice gives you even if its a scent from the 90s, a decade that has yet to fall into the "classic" zone and thus still feels like everything from it was cringe (including teenage me).
Lather: 5
What an absolutely brilliant lather The Spice kicks up. From the moment water hits it turning it into a thick prot-lather to the gloriously shiny conclusion, it's just a pleasure to lather. The soap is super thirsty, which can often lead to some dialing issues but I never had those aside from having to add a lot of water to both my larger scoop shave and my medium scoop. You don't need a lot of soap to get this going big and it's really easy to get there and looks great the entire time. If you were going to make an ad about shave soap -- as we all dream to do -- and needed a pretty lather to build up this would be a great choice.
Shave: 3
The Spice offers an incredible cushion of soap that can tackle even the most aggressive razor, making it feel barely there on your skin. However, it is, at best, mid-tier on its slickness with limited residual slickness too. As I reduced the amount of soap I used on each shave I figured I'd eventually hit a lather that was both full of cushion and slickness, but even on my final shave with the least amount of lather I wasn't too impressed with the glide provided. There's slickness there, it's not like dragging some sort of pillowy sandpaper over your face or anything but despite the copious amounts of water I added it never truly peaked.
Post: 2
The Spice's Old Spice LE scent isn't exactly complimentary with either my Indian Old Spice for the vintage one. It's not an afront to the nostrils or anything (sometimes I picture what nostrils being afronted would look like and it weird me out) but it ain't great. It probably plays a bit better with the more floraly vintage spice if I was forced to choose one by some deranged wet shaving person forcing people to shave with stuff. The soap also left my skin feeling a little sticky for some reason, like there was a layer of it still on there. That dissipated quickly but it was an odd sensation.
Final Verdict: 13
Crowne & Crane might be one of my favorite soaps to lather as it's easy to do, looks fantastic, lathers big, and just drinks up the water. It's just kind of fun working it into a lather and for someone who appreciates the process of wetshaving that's a big deal. The shave doesn't quiet live up to the lather, though, despite some really great cushion. Where it really disappoints is the post shave where it not only still doesn't smell like Old Spice (even if it was never trying to) but also left my face feeling a little icky. No one likes an icky face, just ask.
Previous Great Spice Offs:
submitted by cowzilla3 to Wetshaving [link] [comments]
I love the scent of Old Spice, so much so that it's the only aftershave I use as I don't really feel a need to splash anything else on. But, as we all know, Old Spice no longer makes shaving soap. They do still make a cream but that's hardly a great soap and it doesn't actually smell like Old Spice. As such my plan is to test out all the Old Spice options that are out there on as many bases as possible both to try out a variety of bases from different soapmakers and to report back to you on who really nails the scent.
I'll be shaving three times with each soap, using a variety of brushes and razors, and blades. Yes, I know that means it won't be exactly scientific but this is going to take a while and I want to use all my other shit too. Soaps will be rated on a few factors and given points from 1-5 for each.
- Oldness: How much does the soap smell like OG Old Spice. This is the more analytical scent analysis and I'm comparing to an OG Old Spice aftershave I have and the Shulton aftershave from India.
- Spiciness: This is the je ne sais quois of Old Spice. Does the soap make me feel the nostalgia, warmth, and whatever it is about the scent that works. Is there something special about it that makes it stand out? Does it invoke a memory or make a new one? The most subjective of this list.
- Lather: You know, can I make a shave soap out of it.
- Shave: How's it work on the ol' face while shaving.
- Post: How's the scent profile after the event. How does my face feel.
Crowne & Crane The Spice
And so we enter (for now) into a strange little corner of Old Spice dupery that I honestly wouldn't have even entered if I had read the description of The Spice before ordering it long ago. Also, if Crowne & Crane hadn't named the soap something pretty inaccurate. Also, also, if I hadn't accidentally picked up a second dupe of the scent recently. Yes, The Spice is not an Old Spice dupe but an Old Spice Limited Edition (LE) dupe.Record Scratch. Double Take. Wuuuuuuuh!???
So you're asking yourself what the heck is an Old Spice LE. Well, despite what most think, Old Spice has had many scents over the years and almost none of them are riffs or new twists on their original Old Spice scent. Old Spice, the company/brand, made a plethora of scents throughout the history of producing Old Spice that, while all fell in the kind of old fashioned scenting category, had nothing to do with what we think of as Old Spice. Old Spice LE was one of these scents. From the dating I can find online, it was released sometime in the early 90s and stuck around for a chunk of that decade and possibly into the 2000s. It's also possible it was a scent released every couple of years as I can see a few different bottle versions. I don't actually know that much about it, have never smelled the original myself, and the Internet is not actually full of Old Spice product history let alone a defunct aftershave from the early 90s.
Whatever the history, what appears to be consistent is that it came in a clear bottle and was called Limited Edition. It also featured a base of amber, cedar, and woods with supporting notes of cardamom, lavender, moss, and jasmine, and citrus top notes. As you can see, aside from the citrus, it doesn't have all the much in common with Old Spice but that hasn't stopped a fragrance seller from selling a dupe of the discontinued scent for those who may still be looking for it. And so, there are soapers out there who pick this scent up for whatever reason instead of actual Old Spice. Actually, there are only two and Crowne & Crane are the only ones I can find doing it intentionally (more on that in a future review). They're also naming it The Spice, which is a little misleading considering the only spice scent in it is cardamon and given the lavender, citrus, and moss present its clearly intended to be somewhat of a fougère. The Spice, I think we can all agree, is not the name anyone would give a fougère.
So why then am I even reviewing it? That is like asking why do people climb Everest? Why do athletes push their body to the extremes? Why does the woodchuck chuck wood? If these questions could be answered then perhaps I could answer why I am reviewing this. But they can't be.
Crowne & Crane was founded in 2016 by Karl and Liz, whose last names I can't find so we'll call them Karl Crowne and Liz Crane. Karl was an enthusiast it looks like before going into the ol' soapmaking business and, being founded pre-2020, is officially an ol' timer in the artisan soap industry. Despite that longevity they aren't really all that popular around these parts with u/PhilosphicalZombie and u/loudmusicboy literally being the only two folks who appear to use them regularly if at all. I'd say that's maybe because they're not just a shave soap company but Stirling isn't either so that logic kind of flies out the window. Then again, we're a bunch of grown men and women telling other people how we removed hair from our bodies on a daily basis. Logic means nothing here.
Crowne & Crane have two bases, vegan and tallow. Most of their soaps are in tallow only and that's what The Spice comes in so that's what we're working with here. Of note is a commitment to organic, humanely-raised cows for the beef tallow, which is always a plus in my book (and sustainably sourced palm oil). The soap itself is kind of dry and chalky, not in a bad way and it wasn't hard or falling apart. It's a soft, dry soap, which are not contradictory things. The base is made up of Potassium Tallowate, Sodium Tallowate, Potassium Stearate, Sodium Stearate, Aloe Vera Juice, Potassium Cocoate, Sodium Cocoate, Phthalate-Free Fragrance, Potassium Shea Butterate, Sodium Shea Butterate, Kokum Butter, Sodium Lactate, Glycerin, Lanolin, Tussah Silk. Nothing to much to comment on here except I can't stop saying the word tussah over and over in my head. It's a weird word and now it doesn't feel real I've said it so much. Tu... ssah. Tooo suuuhhh...
The labeling is a nice vintage boat symbol, which, again, is a bit misleading given the LE branding was very much a modern (for the 90s) Old Spice look, not the classic schooner branding of the OG Old Spice. If you weren't paying attention (*cough* me *cough*) you might just order this thinking you got an Old Spice dupe and open the lid to find you most assuredly did not. Well, open the lid is a bad description as I bought their 3 oz puck option instead of the 5 oz jar and it came wrapped in paper. 3 oz, by the way, is a great mid-price option that gives you more than a tiny sample but not a full plastic tub. I'd be perfectly happy to have other shaving companies offer this... please... please... there's so much soap under my sink. So... much... soap.
(Sidenote: if you are looking to get their soaps, do it quick as they're going on hiatus during a move in two days!)
Oldness: 0
As a scent not designed to smell like Old Spice this one knocks it out of the park. In fact, it does such a great job not smelling like Old Spice I'd put it up there with some of the greatest scents that don't smell like Old Spice ever made. Have a scent that doesnt's smell like Old Spice that you love? This one smells as much not like Old Spice as that one does! If you're looking for something that doesn't smell like Old Spice but has the word Spice featured in its name and the words "Old" and "Spice" in the description next to each other than this is the soap for you.
Spiciness: 3
This is actually a pretty solid scent even if its called The Spice but isn't really a spicy scent at all. It's definitely a vintage scent, though, and reminds me a bit of Seaforth! Spiced but not as good. Because of that I'm going to say that it still captures a bit of that classic feel that Old Spice gives you even if its a scent from the 90s, a decade that has yet to fall into the "classic" zone and thus still feels like everything from it was cringe (including teenage me).
Lather: 5
What an absolutely brilliant lather The Spice kicks up. From the moment water hits it turning it into a thick prot-lather to the gloriously shiny conclusion, it's just a pleasure to lather. The soap is super thirsty, which can often lead to some dialing issues but I never had those aside from having to add a lot of water to both my larger scoop shave and my medium scoop. You don't need a lot of soap to get this going big and it's really easy to get there and looks great the entire time. If you were going to make an ad about shave soap -- as we all dream to do -- and needed a pretty lather to build up this would be a great choice.
Shave: 3
The Spice offers an incredible cushion of soap that can tackle even the most aggressive razor, making it feel barely there on your skin. However, it is, at best, mid-tier on its slickness with limited residual slickness too. As I reduced the amount of soap I used on each shave I figured I'd eventually hit a lather that was both full of cushion and slickness, but even on my final shave with the least amount of lather I wasn't too impressed with the glide provided. There's slickness there, it's not like dragging some sort of pillowy sandpaper over your face or anything but despite the copious amounts of water I added it never truly peaked.
Post: 2
The Spice's Old Spice LE scent isn't exactly complimentary with either my Indian Old Spice for the vintage one. It's not an afront to the nostrils or anything (sometimes I picture what nostrils being afronted would look like and it weird me out) but it ain't great. It probably plays a bit better with the more floraly vintage spice if I was forced to choose one by some deranged wet shaving person forcing people to shave with stuff. The soap also left my skin feeling a little sticky for some reason, like there was a layer of it still on there. That dissipated quickly but it was an odd sensation.
Final Verdict: 13
Crowne & Crane might be one of my favorite soaps to lather as it's easy to do, looks fantastic, lathers big, and just drinks up the water. It's just kind of fun working it into a lather and for someone who appreciates the process of wetshaving that's a big deal. The shave doesn't quiet live up to the lather, though, despite some really great cushion. Where it really disappoints is the post shave where it not only still doesn't smell like Old Spice (even if it was never trying to) but also left my face feeling a little icky. No one likes an icky face, just ask
Previous Great Spice Offs:
- 1940s Old Spice Shaving Soap in Vintage Mug (9)
- 1973-91 Old Spice Shaving Soap (7)
- Old Spice Shaving Cream (Original) (12)
- Master Soap Creations Vintage Spice (19)
- Black Ship Grooming Classic (17)
- OSP Old Gold (19)
- Chiseled Face Groomatorium Trade Winds (17)
- Wholly Kaw Twice as Spice (17)
- Barrister and Mann Barrister's Reserve Spice (21)
- Mama Bear Aged Spice (10)
- MERShaving Old Timer Spice (20)
- Soap Commander Endurance (20)
- Signature Soaps Novus Spice (17)
- Hoffman's Shave and Soap Company Burn the Ships (19)
- Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements Cold Spice (15)
- Hendrix Classics & Co Commodore (20)
- Ginger's Garden Old Spice Type (15)
- Lisa's Natural Herbal Creations Mariner (10)
- Stone Field Shaving Company Ltd. No. 37 (18)
- Cooper & French Old Goat (19)
- The Holy Black Artisan Line Shaving Soap (21)
- Stirling Soap Co. Stirling Spice (20)
- Van Yulay Spicy Man (10)
- Pinnacle Grooming The Good Ship OS (15)
- Mystic Water Soap Windjammer (14)
- The Village Soap Smith Old Spice (Type) (14)
- Cloud Shave "Unscented" (13)
- Wet the Face Spices From the Sea (17)
- Artifact Soapworks Old Spice (Type) (15)
- DentonMajik Ole Fife (21)
- Phoenix Artisan Accouterments Oud Spice (17)
- Lativ Natural Skin Revival Shaving Soap Old Spice (8)
- Summer Break Soaps Remote Learning
- Spearhead Shaving Company Seaforth! Spiced
- Eleven Shaving Unscented/Hendrix Classics & Co Commander
- Wild West Shaving Co. Snake Oil
- Wickam Spice Trade
- Occult Grooming Essentials Modern Spice
- Fougare Salem
- Bundubeard Reijger
- Bundubeard Drommedaris
- Bundubeard De Goede hoop
- Areffa Soap The Sea Son
2024.05.13 21:31 tttttt20 Wegovy 2 injections per month approved by insurance?
 | Am I reading this wrong or are is my insurance only approving 2 injections per month (the dr prescribed 1 injection per week)? submitted by tttttt20 to Semaglutide [link] [comments] |
2024.05.13 21:19 doesitmatter_no The Endo Survival Guide
Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS
PRE-SURGERY
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):
submitted by doesitmatter_no to endometriosis [link] [comments]
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS
- EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
- If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
- Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
- Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
- Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
- Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
- My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.
PRE-SURGERY
- List of questions to ask your doctor
- Insurance Information and ID
- Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
- Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant
- Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
- Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
- Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
- Device Chargers
- Medications that you currently take
- Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
- An extra pair of underwear
- Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
- Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
- Non wired bra
- Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
- Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
- Toothbrush and tooth paste
- Hairbrush
- Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.
- Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
- I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
- Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
- If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
- Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
- Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
- Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL
- Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
- Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
- Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
- They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
- If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
- You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
- Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
- You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
- They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!
- You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
- Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
- Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
- Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
- Make sure someone brings you home after :)
- Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
- Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
- Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
- Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
- Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
- Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
- Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
- Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):
- Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
- Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
- Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
- Diet/Exercise:
- Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
- Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
- Chamomile for relaxation
- Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
- Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
- Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
- Medications/Supplements:
- Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
- Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
- IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
- Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
- CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
- Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
- Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
- TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
- Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
- Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
- Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
- Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
- Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
- Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
- Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
- Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
- Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
- Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
- Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!
2024.05.13 21:18 doesitmatter_no The Endo Survival Guide
Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS
PRE-SURGERY
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):
submitted by doesitmatter_no to Endo [link] [comments]
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS
- EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
- If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
- Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
- Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
- Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
- Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
- My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.
PRE-SURGERY
- List of questions to ask your doctor
- Insurance Information and ID
- Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
- Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant
- Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
- Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
- Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
- Device Chargers
- Medications that you currently take
- Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
- An extra pair of underwear
- Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
- Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
- Non wired bra
- Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
- Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
- Toothbrush and tooth paste
- Hairbrush
- Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.
- Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
- I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
- Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
- If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
- Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
- Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
- Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL
- Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
- Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
- Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
- They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
- If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
- You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
- Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
- You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
- They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!
- You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
- Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
- Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
- Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
- Make sure someone brings you home after :)
- Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
- Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
- Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
- Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
- Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
- Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
- Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
- Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):
- Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
- Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
- Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
- Diet/Exercise:
- Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
- Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
- Chamomile for relaxation
- Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
- Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
- Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
- Medications/Supplements:
- Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
- Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
- IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
- Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
- CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
- Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
- Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
- TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
- Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
- Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
- Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
- Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
- Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
- Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
- Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
- Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
- Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
- Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
- Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!
2024.05.13 20:18 bagaudin Acronis Products Update (April'2024)
Hello Acronis, here is our monthly update from Acronis Product Management team. Its purpose is to inform you about the most important updates, achievements, and changes related to Acronis products.
Please, feel free to share your opinion on whether this information is useful for you, what else you would like to see, or give your feedback.
New in Acronis Cyber Protect Cloud 24.04 (release notes)
submitted by bagaudin to acronis [link] [comments]
Please, feel free to share your opinion on whether this information is useful for you, what else you would like to see, or give your feedback.
New in Acronis Cyber Protect Cloud 24.04 (release notes)
- Enhanced trial experience for new partners with a simplified one-step sign-up process. Trial accounts are now provisioned in less than 10 seconds, providing near-immediate access to the management console. A demo environment is also created automatically to familiarize partners with the service functionalities, including a customer tenant with pre-registered workloads. In addition, partner logins have transitioned to an industry-standard email-based approach, replacing auto-generated logins.
- Enhanced protection, monitoring, and remote desktop plan management enables partners to reduce steps and ensure immediate workload protection by applying plans during workload registration. Partially compatible plans are now also enabled, protecting workloads with all supported modules. In addition, partners can set a default plan that is automatically selected during workload registration, elect favorite plans to appear at the top of the list for easy access, and use updated built-in templates to deploy quickly and confidently.
- AI-based resolution in Advanced Email Security accelerates resolution time of ambiguous detection cases to under one minute for 80% of scans that previously required human review. This enhancement accelerates incident response times for complex cases and reduces the need for human intervention.
- Support for five new languages in Advanced Automation includes Japanese, Korean, Malay, Portuguese (Brazil), and Turkish. These languages are available across the product web interface and mobile application.
- Automated Moving Target Defense integration with Morphisec.
- SOAR integration with D3 Security.
- Cloud Storage integration with FishOS Ceph by Sardina.
- Passive device discovery via Device SenseTM is designed to give partners comprehensive visibility of all devices present in their customers’ networks. With this enhanced visibility, partners can deliver tailored and value-driven services that resonate more deeply with customers' needs. In addition, this feature allows identification of "rogue" devices that could compromise network security and potentially introduce malware.
- Extended Detection and Response (XDR) builds on Acronis Advanced Security + EDR to offer protection capabilities beyond the endpoint perimeter, including email, identity and M365 collaboration apps. With Acronis XDR partners can better address the complexity of the evolving threat landscape, increase incident detection rates and improve incident response. Acronis XDR opens additional opportunities for MSPs of all sizes targeting SMB and mid-market clients. MSPs get complete protection that is natively integrated, highly efficient, and designed for MSPs to protect multiple customers in a single solution.
- Inventory Management enables partners using Advanced Automation to enhance their operations with streamlined stock inventory control. With this new functionality MSPs can track stock inventory items, automate quoting, sales, and billing processes, gain insights into inventory details, and effortlessly track profitability and costs.
- LinkedIn live event "Boosting MSP Revenue by Automating Monthly Billing" with Cloud in the Channel held on the 23rd of April. Watch on-demand.
2024.05.13 20:00 AFI69_RiseNDie How to manage BPD in marriage
New poster here but long time lurker. I’m F 27, spouse is M 29. I’ve had this diagnosis for years and could be considered high-functioning since on paper I look like I’m stable, but mentally I’m doing mental gymnastics to manage my emotions. We’ve been married a year and I confessed to cheating. I was blackout drunk years ago and my coworker and I ended up starting to hookup. He was much older than me and I do believe he was trying to set the stage for this hookup, now that I’m older. I immediately left and we flirted for a week or so after. But I cut it off. I ended up having to work under this coworker when he became my manager. So that complicated things. Spouse only thought it was a kiss and I did lie back then. This happened in 2020 and why I just now decided to confess the real incident years later I don’t understand but I feel horrible and have hated myself for years because of it. He’s agreed to work through it and we’ve been in therapy, but I can’t stop feeling like at any moment he will just leave or is “getting back at me” because when he first discovered that this “kiss” happened he found the flirt texts too and later ended up texting hookers. In 2021 we agreed to start over and bought a house, since we were still engaged. I must also note he was married very young and the first wife cheated numerous times with numerous people and it was highly traumatic.. so of course this adds to my guilt and shame and self-hatred. I never would’ve done this had I been sober.. and I think he knows that but still. I’ve left that job, I have completely done a 180 and quit lying in general years ago etc. like I was symptom free besides the deep self hatred and guilt/shame I had been carrying from this before telling him the full story.
We’ve been together 8 years now as well so I think we can work through it. I just can’t manage the anxiety/paranoia anymore and I know it’s affecting our relationship and I know he’s hurting and needs space to heal but I need help trying to manage this and to not be so overbearing. I’ve done DBT and recognize I need to go back into it since these episodes have resurfaced. But any other advice or input is greatly appreciated. I’m sorry this is all over the place.
submitted by AFI69_RiseNDie to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]
We’ve been together 8 years now as well so I think we can work through it. I just can’t manage the anxiety/paranoia anymore and I know it’s affecting our relationship and I know he’s hurting and needs space to heal but I need help trying to manage this and to not be so overbearing. I’ve done DBT and recognize I need to go back into it since these episodes have resurfaced. But any other advice or input is greatly appreciated. I’m sorry this is all over the place.
2024.05.13 19:00 notnotaschizo Official 2024 Community Brick Rankings!
 | After collecting approximately 4,000 votes from 56 voters, we have the official rankings done by a community vote on a poll posted last week, results below!! submitted by notnotaschizo to DrSquatch [link] [comments] ROUND 1: Brick Ratings Note: to get a more accurate reading, I ignored all ratings for 1-3/10 for bricks that had over 50% votes for 6+/10 (positive) as some of the best bricks were getting bombed by that. Generally bars with less votes performed better as there was less variance (more accurate), there is a popularity round after this for what most people like Details below image, tier list shows best of row on top left, worst bottom right. https://preview.redd.it/580hl8fsz70d1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=8acfaade3538c549818d5696777a677cad4cf65b
This was recorded by getting voters' top 10 briccs, and then getting a tally for how many times each bricc appeared overall. 330 votes divided into: https://preview.redd.it/6n9iaorc480d1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=dfabeedeabca05a14907c7b3754ca1e15a46ea92 BONUS ROUND: Best lather: Deep Sea Goat's Milk Lasts longest on skin: Werewolf Wash Lasts longest in shower: Ruthless Rinse Finished, thank you to all voters and drop any questions below :) |