I’m kicking myself for this. Today I was at a Wawa gas station. My friend went inside to buy some snacks and get gas for her car. We were parked by the pump. I see a woman with a small 4 ish year old boy walking around. She’s holding his hand. The women was maybe late 30’s blonde dyed hair. She looked Cuban to me. I’m in Florida so I can spot a Cuban women they dress style themselves a certain way . I noticed her hair mainly because of how pretty the style was and the way it was bleached. She definitely was keeping herself looking clean and classy. She had a sad domineer on her face that gave me an uneasy feeling. I tend to have a bad/good gift of reading people’s eyes and what they are feeling and all I saw was the face of an abused victim. How she was slouched and her body language seemed so off. Like she was scared of somebody or something. She goes up to this random man pumping gas and at this point I was on my phone talking to someone when I couldn’t hear what she asked him but the man was very cold and violently told her off when she approached him with the child. I didn’t hear what she asked but I’m guessing it was about money and I could tell by his tone he was mad. She walked past my car and I was about to ask her if she’s okay when she went straight to this green van. The type of van that is notorious for kidnapping kids. A large Hispanic man was in the drivers side with a leaner Hispanic man. I thought at first she was going to ask them for money but she sheepishly went up to the drivers window and said something. He gestured her to get inside and I pulled my phone out again to try to get a video. She went inside with the boy and in the back there was another girl child. She looked about ten. Both of the kids must be related since they have a darker complexion and similar features. She was very pale compared to them. She looked frightened going inside the van. At one point the man noticed me pointing my phone and he sped off. I couldn’t get a license plate. All I remember that it was an out of state plate with a grey blue plate.After that whole ordeal I can’t shake off the feeling that she must of been in danger and those kids. I got a blurry video of the van and the two men and that’s it. I’m mad that maybe I should have done more. My friend said the cops wouldn’t have done anything. The women just looked like she was being forced to go around and ask whatever she was asking. It was weird to me that she completely ignored me and was only going to men. I’ve been approached/seen countless people asking me for money before but this is the first time I’ve seen this type of situation give me a bad gut feeling. I don’t even know what to do at this point. I was wondering if there is a data base of possible missing people specifically Hispanic. Her face looked familiar like I’ve seen her somewhere.

I have a Lenovo LOQ with rtx 4060 and intel processor (I don’t remember the models name) and I’ve been using this laptop for about 5 months and it’s been great.
Recently I had to do a presentation in my college and I brought my laptop with myself to show the slides. When it was my time to go in front of my class, I putt the laptop on the desk, and tried to plug the hdmi cable and BOOM, it f exploded. There were no smoke, no nothing, it just went blank - didn’t turn on. But all the external devices got fried including the hdmi cable, the projector, my mouse, the electrical sockets, and the lights :D.
So then I gave the laptop to my seller because I have a warranty and in two weeks it got fixed, it turned out the motherboard died.
So today, I was planning to work on my college work and everything was going fine, however I wanted to plug my second monitor, and again - boom. The laptop decided to go to pearly gates. So now at the time of writing there’s now all of my el. sockets are dead and I cannot check if all of my devices are alive, and my food in my fridge is getting warm :D
So what the hell, is this my fault? What do you guys think? I’m planning to send my laptop to my seller again, and I don’t know what to expect now.

I was reflecting about the themes of the first two movies, and I wondered what the third one's theme could be.
If the first movie's theme was about "Anyone can wear the mask,
And the second film's theme was the question, "Can my individuality co-exist with the demands of the mask?"
The answer could be the theme of the third film, "Yes, and if the demands of the mask don't fit you, then make your own demands. I wear the mask. The mask doesn't wear me."
Here's how I feel like the ending of "Beyond" could be, with Rio and Jeff knowing his secret identity by now:
(Voice over)
"My name is Miles Morales, I was bitten by a radioactive spider. I am New York's one and only Spider-Man. I was once told that it meant letting those closest to me get hurt. However, I think the opposite is true. Spider-Man doesn't have to be a curse. It doesn't have to be a burden. If you need sleep, then sleep. (Show Miles having fallen asleep in his costume). "Let others take the weight off you." (Show Jeff as a cop running to his police car, showing that Spidey can take a night off). If you need a break. Take a break. (Show Miles and Gwen together). It's okay. The city won't fall apart. Spend time with those you love. (Show Rio, Jeff, Gwen, and Miles on the couch together). "You see, being Spider-Man means a lot to me." (Show him swinging through the city). "But so does being Miles Morales." (Show Miles reconnecting with the other neighborhood kids from the start of the first movie). You can do both. You CAN have your cake and eat it too. (Show Miles presenting Jeff with another cake saying, "I'm proud of you, Dad. I love you"). What good is being Spider-Man if you can't share it with the people you love? (Show Rio and Jeff watching Miles leap off the roof as Spider-Man, and they both yell, "Hey, be careful!!")
(Show Miles yelling faintly through the mask, "I always am!")
Rio and Jeff as they stare at Miles swinging into the sunset sky. Rio leans her head on Jeff.
Rio, "You think he'll be okay?"
Jeff- "Yeah. We did a good job raising him."
(As Miles swings into the city, he sees Spider-Gwen swinging with him).
They're shown swinging farther and farther away into the sun, as Miles narrates:
"I think the other Spider-people made the mistake of thinking they had to suffer. That it somehow made them into better heroes. But Peter didn't become Spider-Man because his Uncle Ben died. He became Spider-Man because of what his Uncle Ben taught him, and I didn't become Spider-Man because I watched Uncle Aaron die. I became Spider-Man because of what he taught me when he was alive. Just keep fighting. You're the best of all of us. Just keep going. And I always will.
Oh and Uncle Aaron, that girl I told you about?
It worked out."
(End of Beyond)
Something similar would be the ultimate mic drop.
I suppose I could include what happens to Hobie and the gang, but since I haven't actually seen Beyond, I really can only guestimate the following things:
1.) Jeff and Rio will find out Miles' secret identity.
2.) Miles and Gwen get together.
3.) Somehow Miles has made peace with his Earth-42 version prior to this.
4.) Miles adopted Gwen's mentality of "finding their own band."
5.) My theory is that Miguel will realize he was wrong about his calculations and eventually apologize to Miles. It'd take Miles a moment to forgive him, but he'd ultimately accept the apology--even if not becoming friends with the guy. Miles would say something like, "We're cool. Give you advice though? You need to get some help, man. Some serious help."
(That would be the end of their interaction)
6.) Not sure where Jessica Drew ends up. She's the biggest mystery to me.
7.) Miguel would get some kind of chastising from Rio. Not sure how, but Rio would go OFF on him. Especially if Miguel tracks Miles down, fights him, and his secret identity gets revealed by accident. In some way, Rio would cuss this dude out in Spanish, likely after Miles and Miguel make peace with each other.
8.) How Dark Miles and Spot get involved will be a mystery.
9.) Spot will die by getting stuck in some sort of eternal loop. He would basically keep falling into an infinite number of holes and not be able to stop it.
10.) Rio and Jeff accept Miles' secret identity. Jeff would be like, "So you're the one who gave me the advice ----whaaa?"
11.) Near the movie's end, Rio would make an offhand comment about having contacted Vision school administration to complain about the guidance counselor profiling their son. "Poor immigrant family."
These are my theories for how this movie will end. Thoughts? Additions?

Hi all! I'm a young(ish) guy from Melbourne, currently working as a psychologist. Born and raised here. While I love lots about Melbourne, I really want to live closer to the beach. To do that in Melbourne, I would need to pay a lot more rent only to have access to not very nice or clean beaches... or move out of the city entirely.
I've visited Adelaide a couple of times as I have friends and family who live there. I feel it has the best of both worlds, with the city and nice beaches within reasonable distance of each other. I also love wine and gin (two things that SA does very well).
My budget would be around $650-$700 for a place. What would be some areas you would recommend? I've been told to stay away from the northern suburbs. I've also heard mixed things about Port Adelaide? But I'm not clear on why. I know the city relies on buses, are some areas better connected than others to get around? I do have a car, but it's nice to be in an accessible area too, if I didn't want to drive somewhere.
Any and all advice is appreciated! Thanks.

I played The Crew (1) quite actively for a year or two. Then I was done. I had all interesting cars tuned, so the rest would be stupid completionist grind just to have all.
Ehat I really liked about The Crew was the huge choice of cars, a nice open world map and all the tuning capabilities with drag, monster trucks, drift, pro race.. and you still had some choice of cosmetic parts.
Since then I am looking for an arcade race game that doesn't suck at physics.
I played NFS Heat and love the tuning and all, but its online capabilities didn't really feel good, so I played it more offline. The good online thing about The Crew were the events, all that game-as-a-service stuff that kept me playing. In NFS Heat it feels like I'm just doing the same 10 races to farm money and spend it to get a different car tuned.
Is FH5 still worth to buy? Or is it almost finished and I should wait for FH6?

Hello. I've been offered two jobs. Fire alarm, servicing and fault finding with the addition of qualifications, or carry on in my electrical maintenance role with mechanical learning at a new company on industrial machinery.
I really can't decide what to do for best. Do you enjoy fire alarm industry? Have you ever been in a similar job role situation that I am in now?
UNITED KINGDOM.

Hi there,
We plan to fly into Milan and stay a few nights in ortisei and cortina d’ampezzo each. (Week total) We want to see as much of the dolomites as possible from these two towns, and were planning on renting a car to do so. What I’m wondering is this necessary? Or are taxis/public transport a more suitable approach.
Thanks for any advice!

Trigger Warning for those who can be affected: romantic relationships, trust issues, lying, deceiving, age difference in sexual affairs, sexual intimacy.
Using throwaway so I do t get recognised by the details.
Hi all, So me - M23 -, I'm in a relationship with my gf F24 for nearly a year now. About 3 months into the relationship I found out from her that she used to be in a "friends with benefits" type of situation with an older guy - M51. They "casually" hooked up a few times, prior to her meeting me closer. The problem is that I know the guy fairly well. Well, the three of us work in the same company, same building, pretty much same floors as me and my gf are same department and the Guy is pretty much everywhere in our workplace. Him being 51 is my one concern as when it started between them 2.5 years ago she was only 21 turning 22 and he was nearly 49. Second problem is he's manipulative as hell, mirrors emotions and behaviours, pretends to be this super helpful gentleman but then talks people down and uses his help as a currency for "favours". Third problem is he's married. He even has a daughter, older than my gf by nearly a decade. EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION THIS I ORIGINAL POST - he has not informed my current gf at the time they were a thing that he is married, neither did he show signs. In fact she just found out he has a daughter from my mom a few days back and looked shocked tbf. My mom doesn't know about any of it so she didn't understand why is my gf standing there in awe but I did my best to hide the truth and just waffle our way out of this conversation. I can't comprehend how any father would just blatantly go with a girl that's his daughter's age or younger, especially while having a wife. You got everything you can ask for and still look for more... 4th problem is that it's not just my gf. It has been several girls. Once I found out what happened between my gf and him I digged up a few informations and found out he's been doing this kind of thing for years, and he's acting like nothing ever happened. He still doesn't know that I found out and he's acting like nothing was ever between them two towards my gf. And 5th, last but not least. I think the worst problem of them all is that it took a tremendous hit on my gf's mental health. She has told me that she wished I'd never found out and she didn't exactly mean on telling me but she could tell it was getting serious between us and i noticed a few outlying stories when she'd tell them to me and connected the dots too quick pretty much. She wanted to act like nothing ever happened but when she told me it was as if something inside her broke the wall of emotions and gave her a medium to pour her anger and sadness out to. Now from my own life and feelings I can tell that I won't leave her over that. It's in the past, she had no right to know we'd end up together so happy and this could post a threat to us so it's not a valid reason to end a relationship. And I don't wanna end it to be honest. She's a wonderful woman and treats me better than I could ever feel I deserve so all I try to do is really match the level of happiness I give her to the one she gives me. But I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me. Sometimes when we're in bed it just flashes into my mind that this Guy was in the same position with her. That he used her for his pleasure and didn't even care about her after, pretending nothing happened. Also, I've always struggled with young population being hurt, especially with p3dos and abusers. I've got desensitised to death, wounds, blood and all gore stuff (I have worked in healthcare and I'm in anatomy major now) but I can't stand adults using and abusing children. It just kills me deeply since they don't know much better when they're young. I also can't comprehend how could he do it to his wife. And daughter too. What if they find out? Will he just pretend nothing happened? I know for sure he'd lie about it and say it's all bollocks and bullshit but that's not how it was. And truth always comes out on top. It tempts me so much to gather all that info I found along with the girls' names and ages and just to give it to his family.
That was few months back. It hit me like a truck but I went into therapy with this being main concern and somehow managed to get better. I ended up not including his family in the whole ordeal as I have found out that his now ex-wife is not really in the picture and they have parted their ways over unknown reasons. But... Literally yesterday I finally got told by my gf that in fact, her FWB thing didn't end in January last year but instead shortly before we began dating, and that whilst dating me she went to his house again to tell him that they won't be able to continue this situationship. And that she also lied to me that she's never sent him explicit pictures. She did. And apparently she needed about an hour to talk to him about ending it while being in relationship with me, and that they talked a bit about cars and life stuff. Also of course she denies that anything happened and tells me all our relationship was true and she means it all that she loves me etc. I feel like a wreck. Barely slept all night. I feel used and deceived into believing it was nothing where she treats him like some sort of child she has to protect. And yes, of course I was hit with the "I don't deserve you" I don't know what to feel or do. I'm just existing in the mere present, trying to focus on work and not give any signs of trouble to my family. They all love my gf and are so happy that I finally found someone who treats me right (I've left 5 year long abusive relationship before and had been a subject to bullying, death threats and many more devastating experiences). At least in hindsight she treated me well. And promised that everything between us was true. But she was scared she'd lose me if I found out, first of all about their affair and then about the fact that she lied. But I can't understand how could she love me and still lie straight to my face. Pretend nothing like that ever happened and deleted all their conversations so that noone finds out. She feels horrible, I can tell that. But so do I. Hell, terrible is an understatement. I feel like a void of a person. And the thing is I can't even hurt her back. I just can't fathom hurting her but what did I ever do to deserve getting treated like this again? And the moment I see her in person I feel sad but also so so so mad and angry, I don't even hold my words back and I know it hurts both of us but I just don't know what to say or do. I just ask questions and feel like shit hearing the answers. And worst part is noone apart from the three of us and redditors here know about this. I don't ever wanna say this to my family or friends I don't want them to hate her. But if we end up separating how do I ever explain it to them. What will her poor parents think. I'd miss them too. Her mom even called me her future son-in-law, and she's great woman. I help her around the house all the time. Her dad's a handyman so he gets along with me like my own old man. I don't wanna lose everything I've built and given over the last year but it feels like it's just sand falling through my hands now. I don't know how can i even believe what she's saying

Anyone know what's happening in the shore road at the loughgside playing fields?
Multiple police cars and a motorbike, four officers where in the car park looking at two black cars - cordoned off
There were others directing and what looked like stopping traffic?

Hey guys, I own an automatic 2008 SV6 wagon. When going at high speeds (pretty much anything over 90km/h), acceleration becomes really shit. Even trying to put my foot on the accelerator causes the car to start "clunking" (best word I could find to describe it). If I keep putting my foot down to just power through whatever the clunkiness is, the Check Engine light pops up and the car starts running like it's lost a cylinder or two. Because of this I can't use the expressway which sucks. This weird clunkiness also happens when the car is going downhill. Anyone have any idea what this could be?
Thanks in advance.

Hey, my Volvo S40 (2005 1.8 120tkm) has been sitting in my parking lot for about a week now. Yesterday I wanted to go out again and the car wouldn't start, so I disconnected the battery and let it rest for a while. The car ran fine again. Then I parked the car briefly and it wouldn't start again, did everything as described above, then suddenly the engine control light came on. I thought shit, then drove home on the highway and suddenly the speedometer and revs failed, the windshield wipers came on, I got 6 error messages (refill brake fluid (just done) brake failure stop safe (front brakes are also new and rear still in good shape) refill windshield wiper fluid (also still full) reduced engine power stop safe and unfortunately I can't remember the other two). Anyway, I immediately drove to the side of the road and then waited for the ADAC because the engine wouldn't start at all (the check engine light was off by then). I just bought the car used from a dealer who wants to have it looked at in his shop, but do any of you have any idea what is wrong with this car? The car drives fine and the engine is quiet, but I'm worried about all these error messages.

I was just minding my own business when the police and my neighbors started yelling at me from my VRBO I was living in along with my rental from Uber to do Uber Eats and I could just not stop hearing the horrible things they were saying.
They kept telling me to come outside. I did not trust them because you should never trust the police unless you can pay them off. So I just sat in my VRBO and let my Uber rental expire.
So now I don't have a car for Uber Eats and lost my job.
I was thinking about working for a tech company but I don't exactly know what I would do that they would pay me for. Maybe I could just yell at people. I am sure there are plenty of people that need to be yelled at on the daily in order to be efficient workers. I am good at yelling at people and I feel like this would be an excellent opportunity for me to channel the negative energy that encapsulates all of my consciousness into something that makes money.
Since I lost one of my jobs I could not afford VRBO anymore. AirBNB just banned me permanently because my cat puked so that is not an option. So I found a house to live in.
Don't ask anything about the house.
So as a protected native Austinite I live now in a reserve especially made for people like myself.
It is not a mental hospital.
They don't let you have a computer in the hospital.
So how am I supposed to find a tech job.
I have experience with WordPress and using LLM's to write content for me.
I had hope to be a prompt engineer but they renamed the position to Professional Plagiarist on Indeed.
Wait, I could just work for Indeed.
Do you think they would let me yell at and fire people for them?
I hate people enough that I don't mind making people cry or jump off the bridge after giving them "refreshments" laced with vitamin K.
C'mon there has to be something in Tech that I can do. I am not a bro. So I guess I can't be a tech bro.
I don't identify as a tech bro, rather a tech reject.
I have experience in Adobe Creative Cloud.
I used to take a picture of my painting and my cat every day and edit them together in AfterEffects to post to Instagram. That led to nothing. Absolutely nothing. But I learned how to use AfterEffects.
I animated a two hour film by myself. Should that not count as a tech job?
I know how to use Cody to write code in VSCode and have a lot of experience with Curl, Linux and CLI. I have used GCloud in the past to spin up an instance.
I know how to do things. I know how to make a drop shipping website. Of course everyone knows they do not make money.
I have been banned from almost all the work from home sites that have work available. I finally got enough rejects to go below 99% on Amazon mechanical turk and was banned from prolific and remotasks.
I know how to make a chrome extension. I know some HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Python and R. I have worked fine-tuning large language models.
And yet I can't find work.
Probably because of the yelling and screaming.
I need to stop that.
Or get a job that pays me to do that.
TLDR: I need a job that lets me yell at tech bros.

I am torn between the rav 4 and crv. I have read about the road noise and flimsy feel on the rav4. I currently have a 13 highlander that is sucking oil so I am a little gun shy on Toyota. I also see there is the auto wipers problem with the crv. Can you turn this off and control them yourself?I want to downsize so I am looking at these two cars. I'm in Florida so wipers are important. Are there any other problems to look out for?

Hello,
I'm changing company cars at the moment and my selection came to these 2 options:

• Volvo V60 T6
• BMW 330e touring

I drive many kms daily on highway (80+) and the electrical will not be enough for these driving. I will only be recharging the car at the company, since at home I don't have the chance.
After reading a lot of reviews, I didn't find a clear comparison between these 2 and I still have some doubts on which is the best option. The Volvo is better equipped and more comfortable (supposedly) but the BMW has better driving performance.
Anyone there that drives any of these that can share their experience?
Thanks.

hi!
hope this is a good community for this. can delete if not :⁾
my 22 yr old boyfriend is an autistic. i am nt. we’ve been together for about two years now, and we currently live together. he was diagnosed as a child (specifically with asperger’s), and i was aware of this before we got together. before we’d moved in, we had some really rough spots, stuff that i’d honestly define as verbal abuse, but i had that “i can fix him” mindset and continued on (i honestly really needed a roommate at the time, and my financial situation pushed this decision).
anyways, it got better for a bit, but he has very little control over his breakdowns and it’s become practically integrated into my life. if something irks him enough, it’s a meltdown. some recent examples — losing his video game, being asked to take out the trash, being asked to take a shower (he wont on his own :^/), not being able to find items, me chewing. i’m not talking getting “just upset”, i’m not talking something manageable. i’m saying he will start hitting himself and whining like a child. if i try too hard to talk him down in these states, he will start screaming (we’ve been threatened to have the cops called on us for noise complaints). i have to separate us, but our apartment is small and sitting by myself in the bedroom can get lonely. these meltdowns can also happen anywhere — at home, in the car, in public. it’s basically a daily occurrence unless he’s at home all day on his games.
its also important for me to state that i’m a victim of abuse. yelling is a pretty big trigger for me, and when he has a meltdown, i end up spiraling, and it’s really hard to come back and help him, sometimes i just can’t bounce back and ill take it out on him, yelling myself, and it all just stacks. im really not a yelling type of person, it goes to show how much the stress of this relationship has changed me. he’s attended weekly therapy sessions in the past, but he stopped last summer and hasn’t shown any interest in picking them back up. he has anxiety meds, but doesn’t take them as he “doesn’t like being medicated”.
i’ve been on a week-long vacation with him and his family and i can’t lie! it’s been rough! it’s a constant exhaustive state of being more of a mother than a girlfriend, always on the lookout for something that would make him mad so i can fix it before it gets to him, doing the best i can to ease him down when i can’t. i feel like i can never breathe properly around him, it takes just a second before shit hits the fan again. the good moments are being overshadowed with the memories of the bad.
has anyone been in a similar situation, or can anyone provide some insight to help me understand? is there something im missing that could alleviate this? he can’t get anything done like this, he still hasn’t gotten a proper job or a car because the process stresses him out so much he won’t even start on it. it sucks, i’m young and i want to be someone’s girlfriend, not their caretaker, even though i really do love him to the moon and back. any advice would be really appreciated <3 thank you all

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

While this may help QS sell into the domestic US if they scale QSE-5 as advanced batteries are included in the tarriffs, economists usually think trade wars may not good for either country.
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Biden administration announced plans to slap new tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles, advanced batteries, solar cells, steel, aluminum and medical equipment — an election-year move that's likely to increase friction between the world's two largest economies.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/biden-hiking-tariffs-on-chinese-evs-solar-cells-steel-aluminum-adding-to-tensions-with-beijing/ar-BB1mlYfb?ocid=BingNewsSerp