Maa ne mujhe choda

So first semester main Mere ek DSC ke paper main mujhe teacher ne internal assessment main mujhe F Diya hai.
Aur main uska theory paper aur practical miss kar diya tha so obviously I'll have to reappear for the theory exam but jo practial paper hai what about that? Wo bhi Dene honge kya and internal assessment main 10 marks mile the out of 30 toh woh internal marks carry honge na?

Mujhe toh ab sb bani bnaayi baatein lg rhi ..tmlog ky sonchte ho mujhe toh lgta kuch aisi cheezein h jo hm ni sonch skte wohi h god…agr sonch paa rhe toh woh god ho hi ni skta kyunki god bewakoof thodi h jo hm jaise chutiyoo ki smjh mein aa jaye…saayd kuch logo ne iss god ka concept diya taki humans achhe bn jaaye bure ni ….but religion ko lekr toh yhaan kuch alg hi scene chl rha

Bhai ajj papa se baat Kari drop ki papa ne pura khee diya ki teri rank pe kuch kilga yo dilwa denge..
Im quite not an excellent Student but ik mehnat kaise karte hai ...
I wanna give my full chance. Today i saw ki ek band eki 98 aa gyi procrastination karne ke bad bhi.
Mai jo yaha bss 92 lake sirf adv eligible hu.
Mujhe bhut inferior feel hota hai ye sche padhne walo se.. ki mai kyu nhi kr skta .. Kya me self made topper nhi ban skta.
Maine 10tak kuch exceptional nhi kiya 11th bhi waste... 12 meei achi gayi par many reasons such as.
Procrastination, day dreaming not give mocks and not having better environment made me a loser again.. orr bhi bhut hai but ... I take my blame ki... Meri hi galti hai galti karna...
I really evny thos who are gifted... Ki mai kyu nhi hu assa
Mujhe assa kya karna ki mai unke level pe pochu..
Taking a drop for 25... Chalo apki bate sunte hai..
Drop leke IITB jaunga that's it.. Im goal oriented.

So imma final year CS student, aur bhai mere job nahi lagi hai, par bhai kuch karne kaa jonoon hai, maa baap ko kush karna hai aur apna future bhi banana hai, so pls guid me...
Background : from tier 2 private cllg, know programming well, (typically mern stack ka 14 aur 200+ leetcode wala ) mere ek baar toc mei acche aye the to subject thoda acha lagta hai mujhe 🙂 ab yaad nahi kuch, maths to ghatna yaad hai mujhe shuru se padha hai sab kuch ( 12th ke bhi thode concepts revise karne honge), aur baki sab subjecta ka bhi same haal hai DSA ko chhod kar bas programming aati hai muze
1) How and where to start 2) What are some good resources 3) What best in your opinion ( offline/online) 4) What are good online classes in you opinion or experience ?
TLDR : launde ne bass backhodi ki hai cllg mei GATE ke liye guidance maang raha hai

I have made this list
1.Zara sa
2.Dil ibadat
3.Kya mujhe pyaar hai
4.Tu hi meri shab hai
5.Haan tu hai
6.Labon ko
7.Alvida
8.Desi boyz
9.Tujhe sochta hu
10.Tu jo mila
11.Mat aazma re
12.Kal ki he baat hai
13.Sajde
14.I am in love
15.Hai junoon
16.Mere bina
17.Jannatein kahan
18.Mai tera dhadkan teri
19.Mere brother ki dulhan
20.Tujhi mein
21.Zara sa (power ballad)
22.Main agar
23.Dil samander
24.Rafta rafta
25.Meri maa
26.Party on my mind
27.Humko pyaar hua
28.Touch me
29.Mai kya hoon
30.Sajda
31.Discowale khisko
31.O meri jaan
33.O meri jaan
34.O meri jaan
35.Jaane kaise
36.Aur tanha
37.Ayaashi
38.Marjaani marjaani
39.Zehreeli raatein
40.Haan mai jitni martabaa
41.Chahoon tujhe
42.Ek pal mein
43.Ye hausle
44.Dekho nashe mei
45.Hai ishq ye kya ik khata
46.Tu salaamat
47.Ye khuda
48.Allah beli
49.Ek pal ke liye
50.U & I let's do balle balle
51.Afreen
52.Tere liye
53.Allah hafiz
54.Ae aa oo
55.Parvar digara
56.Luk chup jaana
57.Shikdum (The Bedroom Mix)
58.Hold, You Will Be Mine
59.Humko Toh Hai Poora Yakeen
60.Aise Hi Bada Hua Gavaskar
61.Hum Dono Jaise Kaun Yahan
62.Jee Lenge
63.Golmaal
64.Antenna

Sasural pipi ka aaj dekhne Mila kafi time baad...You reddit people kuch bhi bolo hum saath saath hi hai 🤣 dekho aaj Aami ne bhi facial k baad bhaut bhaut bhaut pyaar Kiya mujhe ...ab mat bolna kuch bhi humare bond ko leke.... Dark patch wali mummy bhi aaj achi lagi guysss. Don't forget this was my First Mothers day 😂 with RU baby

its gonna be a long trauma dump.
im 19f, appeared in 12th this year, this would be my first drop. vaise to iss sun pe lurker rehti thi, aaj laga maybe kuch bol hi du to atleast relief rahega kisko dhang se bataya to. vaise to life meri bekar nhi hai overall dekha jaye to. yaha pe logo ka padho bc achhi lagne lagti hai life, and phir agle din vahi rr.
i was five almost, jb mere nana ne pehli baar mujhe touch kiya tha. mummy papa ka office rehta tha and bhaiya ka school to akele chhodne ki jagah nana ko bula lete the vo log ki mera dhyaan rakhe. achha dhyan rakhe the (apna lolzzz). now that i think about the movements and the way he'd shake afterwards, pyare nanaji was most probably cumming in his dhoti holding his five year old granddaughter on his thigh. (i mean, ladke shayad better jaane, kabhi kisi se detail mein puchha nhi iss baare mein. after it had got some action and y'all are ejaculating, do you guys like, freeze for a bit a breathe hard? agar nhi to im sorry for the wrong allegations). anyways that happened for a while. uske baad ka mujhe kuch yaad nhi. tbh ye bhi nhi yaad tha, until 3-4 saal pehle jb i read a similar scene in a book and ye yaad aaya phir shock mein chali gayi. had two beautiful frnds jinko bataya iss baare mein and they tried to help me out as best as they could. andar se ye bhi lagta tha ki mummy ko kabhi pata bhi chala to nahi manengi, isiliye parents se thoda grudge rehta tha and ladti jhagadati rehti thi.
fast forward to present, mai apne best friend ke saath relationship mein aa gayi and slowly but surely, he made a great impact on my relationship with my family. like uski uske parents ke saath achhe relations hain and ladka bhi sahi hai (haa pyar krti hu usse, mar jaungi ek din) to convince kr liya mujhe ki mere parents bhi pasand krte hain mujhe. and tb se mere relations meri family ke saath significantly improve hue. i even started to trust them.
to kya hai na, mummy and nana ki jamti nhi hai (he's neither a good husband nor a good father), isiliye mummy unse baat nhi krti. ek din recently mummy unhi ke baare mein upset thi and maine mummy se bol diya ki "uss aadmi se to mujhe nafrat hai. royi hu bestfriend ko batate hue" and mummy was like mujhe batao but mana kar di ki abhi nhi.
agle din she came to me and said ki unhe raat mein neend nhi aa rahi thi ye sochte hue ki aisa unhone kya kar diya ki I don't trust her but trust my frnds? phir bohot bolne pe mai unhe puri baat bata di (utni detail mein nhi obviously) and she was very supportive. boli ki "maa baap important hote hain par bachcho se zyada nhi. mai to vaise bhi unhe ghar na bulati but ab to sawal hi nhi uthata. shakal nhi dekhungi unki". and mai apne room mein aake rone lagi ki maine apni maa ko galat samjha ki vo mujhpe yakeen nhi karengi.
then agle din, i think jb mai ghar pe nhi thi tb mummy bhaiya ko ye baat batayi and he told her abt how once i confessed to him i was a lesbian (bisexual boli thi but lauda hai), and pata nhi kaise, mummy ko convince kr doya ki im making this whole story up for sympathy and to seem cool.
mummy aayi and mujhse boli ki "tum jo batayi ho, vo sach mein hua hai ya jo tum ghatiya books padhti ho, uski vajah se dimag mein baitha li ho ki mere saath bhi kuch galat hua hai?" and phir asked me abt that lesbian wala and told me ki inhi sab vajah se my face has lost its innocence and mai kuch nahi kar paayi hu. kaise i didn't deserve the marks i got in boards and sabka entrance exam tha but sab ek event mein aa rahe the but tumne kuch padha nhi tha isiliye nhi aayi (true but jisko neet dena hota vo aise bhi na aata). and how she feels ashamed and unsafe to go out with me varna i would wander off with "bhaiya log". that other girls of my age look smart and innocent and good even of they're fat. and gori ladkiyo ka chehra nhi pink hai, but you have yellowish tone and you never look smart, tumhare andar vo cheez hi nhi. she ended her speech with, "tumhari vajah se maine apne baap ko galat samjha. agar tum jhoote ilzam laga rahi ho to uska anjam dikhega." and then very lightly said, as if she didn't believe it, "aur agar mere baap ne kuch kiya hoga to bhagwan batayenge."
since that day, i haven't been able to look at my family the same way. the love, trust and respect i had for them seems gone. uss din ke baad mummy achhe se baa ki but bhul nhi paa rahi unn words ko. isse pehle bhi aisa bohot kuch boli hain vo jo bura laga tha but ye Dil tod diya. i can't believe my first heartbreak is from my mother itself.
isse pehle bhi she'd questioned my character. mai maanti hu, mai chutiye bachchi thi. nhi samjhti thi kuch. school bus mein achhe bhaiya log mile the to sabko achha samajhti thi and apne age ke logo se ghul mil nhi paati thi. isiliye almost got tricked by a senior jo uss time 11th mein the (i was in 6th, koi dost nhi tha to attention ki bhukhi rehti thi). uske liye mummy branded me as "characterless". I WAS IN SIXTH, NHI PATA THA MUJHE KUCH. phir ek baar humlog kahi gaye the and mummy dusri seat pe chali gayi mujhko leke jbki meri dost pichhe ki seat pe thi. i tried going to her to uss time to mummy bas gusse se dekhi but ghar aake boli ki how im such a bad daughter, achhe ghaf ki ladkiya sirf apne mummy papa ke paas rehti hain but tumko to matakna rehta hai. tumhare jaisi ladkiyo ko characterless rehte hain, kisi ki nhi hoti hain. (this was in class 9th).
ho sakta hai mai apna side leke dekh rahi hu isiliye mai khud ko sahi samajh rahi. but galti kya ki maine ye to koi achhe se explain karo???
recent ye nana wala batane ke baad to bas yahi manati hu roz bhagwan se ki maar daale mujhe. sach nata rahi, jb dekhega na koi sirf meri mummy papa aur bhaiya ko saath mein, to itne perfect lagte hain. and mai manhoos ki yarah aa jaati hu beech mein. (mumma thinks ki mera chehra normal rehne pe mahoos lagta hai, i should be smiling har samay varna apni life barbaad ke dungi aisi shakal bana ke).
marne ka ya relapse krne ka (i used to self harm) roz mann krta hai, but apni best friend aur apne bf ke baare mein sochke ruk jaati hu. sach mein doni pagal pyaar krte hain mujhse. bestfriend ki life already laudi ho rakhi hai, aur nhi pareshan krna, bf ki life mein pehle hi bohot trauma the, ab badhane ka mann nhi. i promised him I'd helo him heal.
ab 15 aur 16 ko cuet hai but padha nhi hai kuch and pata nhi kaise niklega. nikalka bhi zaruri hai varna home life aur fucked up ho jaayegi plus ghar se niklungi to insabme dimag nhi lagega.
samajh nhi aa raha kaise padhu ab, aakhiri din bacha hai, sab kuch padha hai but revise krna hai. idk bhai, higheay sach mein sundar lagne laga hai (srsly)

[Throwaway account] [Long post]
17M. Today cbse boards result came out. And I got 68% and I feel devastated.
I tried to do jee coaching and school simultaneously but I couldn't. I used to feel sleepy in classes so much that my eyes felt like burning. I was just not interested in this rat race.
My father is the most toxic person I've ever met. He doesn't even talk to strangers with respect or politely. I couldn't clear jee and my father scolded me a lot and today he said even more stuff that I couldn't take in.
I got horrible percentile in JEE. I know this is not the end of life and these grades don't define someone's potential or life. I accept I couldn't perform well and learnt my lesson through bad decisions.
But aaj papa ne bola "tera ky hoga, pura future barbad krliya h", "2 saal kuch pdhai nhi kiya bas phone chalaya, game khela, timepass kiya", "har ek exam me fail hogya", "ab aage ki padhai chhod de, labour ka kaam kr ky krega pdh kr", "5 lakh barbaad krdiya school or coaching me".
I wasn't like this always. Maine 8th tak boht competitions, olympiads wagera kiya h. Mujhe nhi pata mai jee coaching kyu le liya. Ky hogya mere saath mujhe nhi pata.
He called me and said "apna laptop and phone tod de aur photo khich kr bhej". Kyu todu mai apna phone jab maine freelancing krke khud ke paise se kharida th.
I'm not joking but he called me "ch*tiya and mc" too for not scoring good marks. He even scolded my mother and sister for all this. Bas yahi bolte raha ki mat kr aage ki padhai, sab barbad krliya h ab mera kuch nhi hoga kahi.
Aaj pehli bar saalo baad meri aankho se aasu aagye. Aaj mere se control nhi hua aur mai chhat pr jakr silently andr se cry kr rh th.
He has his ego problem and anger issues. Idk what's his problem. Hamesha se aisa toxic behaviour raha h. Kabhi game khelne nhi diya to jab bhi time milta th bachpan me mai game khelte rhta th kyuki brain aisa sochta th ki ghr me nhi h yeh abhi jitna marji khel leta.
Bachpan me cash me paise diye th aur bola rkhne and maj spend krdiya kyuki bhai bachha th curiosity thi. To jis din pata chala jhapad mar diya and bache hue cash phad diye.
To ab dar lgta h kuch krne se. Mai kahi bahar nhi jata hoon ghumne ya kuch khane. Aaj tak restaurant nhi gya. Bs ek bar dosto ke sath movie dekhne gya hoon Oppenheimer. Ek do bar cafe me gya hoon dost ke sath. Sab apne hi paiso se pay kiya hoon. Pocket money ka concept hi gayb h mere ghr me. School wale goa trip pr legye but 15k mai mangne se ghabra rh th to nhi gya.
Ab weird sa introvert bn gya hoon. Dost birthday party pr ya ghumne bulate h to mai nhi jata kuch bahana krdeta hoon. Female interaction to hai hi nhi ab.
Ek din meri didi ka pata nhi sayd result acha nhi aaya th to bola ki books road pr lejakr jala de. Mai chhota th tab.
Aaj to bole meri mummy ko ki mujhe ghr se bhaga de.
He never accepts constructive critisism about him. For him other's opinions and views dont matter. He only boasts how much money he has spent on education and shit.
Heck he never gave his BA exam himself. Someone else wrote instead of him.
Ky aisa behaviour acceptable bhi hai aaj ki society me? I think he's psychotic and needs a psychiatrist. Like wtf man.
Kahi se koi support nhi mil rh mujhe. Bs lg rh andar se toot gya hoon aur ab kuch nhi h jeene ko. Bs mera friend mujhe support kr rh kyuki uske bhi kam percentage aaye h. Atleast uske ghr wale jyada understanding h and samjhte h ki yeh the end nhi hai.
Mera dream h Germany me pdhna. Mai kuch projects banaya hoon ek dost ke sath apne coding skills se jisse mujhe kafi acha revenue mil jata h. To friend EU ka hai and we've been in contact for long time now.
To ek saal yaha local college me pdh kr next year bachelors Germany ke liye apply krunga yeh mera plan th. Along with learning german language.
Bs isi hope se mai filhal jee rh hoon ki ek din yeh sapna pura hoga and mai finally yeh toxicity escape kr paunga. Mera wo dost financially help bhi krdega if funds ki kam pdegi to uss time. Papa ke to paise bhi use nhi hoga to bhad me jaye mai ja rh apne raste.
Bs aur kuch nhi kehne ko h

nta teri maa ki ch*t, bkl randi agency mujhe palghar mai center de diya joh mere ghar se 120km dur hai aur 16 ko joh exam hai uska center maderchodo ne mujhe nashik ki kisi andheri gali mai de diya (mai rehta navi mumbai mai hu) joh mere ghar se 190kms dur hai
navi mumbai, thane aur mumbai select kiya tha 🤡🚬

Results aagya. I thought i did good(93% and 96%if i took my additionalsubject instead of maths.)
Got a good score in all, 90+ except maths, where i got 85.
Im weak in maths. I just can't. Koi samajta nhi... koi bhi. I know there are a lot of people strong minded here but i am not. My mon expected 90+in maths. I just can't. Comparison ke baad my mom became even more sad. Mujhe yeh dekh nhi sakta. I'm gonna leave forever. Maths ne mera life barbaad kiya. I'm crying while typing this. I can't even cry coz yaha pe bezzti hoti hai.
Bye

guys, idk but vent karne ka mann hua, ive been a topper my entire life, (98+) in everything till 10th. 11th mein aake ganda sa downfall hogya tha, i failed in almost all pts, half yearly, even final exams mein fail kiya tha maine. usi beech relationship drama (i got cheated on, woh bhi it was w my bsf), friends ne chhod diya, parents naaraz, aisa ek dinn nai tha jiss dinn apne papa se daant na khau. ek saal mehnat toh ki, but last mein physics ne maa chod di, theek theek hi aaye hai number, regardless im happy. this time last year, i was depressed, actually had no friends and im happy the way life has turned out. i got 91.5 in xii, and i am proud of myself, even if no one is.

Tune aachha Kiya mere se door chala gaya. Me ne tere ko bohut pareshan ker diya tha. Kash mene Naa Kiya hota tere ko itna parashan. Kash mene sochaa hota oor samanjhne ki koshish ki hoti. Mere me soachne smajhnen ki shamta khatam ho gai hai. But I really miss you. Ye mujhe pata hai. Oor ye bhi pata hai ki that I will always look out for you, even if it means staying away from you for forever, if that is what you want. Mujhe lagata hai tu bhi bohut parashan raheta ho ga staying so far away from home. You might miss your family and close friends like her not me. Mene apne aap ko zada importance de di thi teri zindagi me more than mene apne zindagi me tere ko importance di thi. Me kya Karu meri Matt Mari gai thi. Shayad iss ka matalab tere ko nahi pata ho ga iss ka matalab. XD But kash tere ko meri Dil ki batt pata ho. Ki I like you but yes that is no use now cause you don't want me in your life. So my liking towards you ends at a wrong turn of a pitch black tunnel and ends at leaving you alone for your good and staying away from you for enternity. Thank you for all the love that you gave me. I felt loved. Sincerely thank you.

kya karu bhailog
mein class10thclass tk regular school me padh rha aur dusre school ke ek teacher se math ki coaching padh rha tha us teachear ne mujhe behla fusla ke apne school me le aaya lekin phir July tk meine jee krne ka socha aur kota aa gaya aur waha pe non attending kara liya meine unse kaha ki non attending ki fees kam kardijiye to wo bsdk wala teacher kam nhi kr rha tha to meine usse bahut request ki (hum itni feees kaise denge coaching ki fees bhi emi pr de rhe h hostel ka alag) bahut kehne pr wo total 60k for both class in (2023) pr maan gya lekin aaj usne mujhe phone krke kaha ki 11th me to kam kr di 12 th ki puri lagegi aur mujhse 50k ke maang rha h ab mein apne papa ko bataunga to wo bahut gussa honge kyuki meine unse 60 k dono class ka bola tha aur apni me marzi se us school mein admission karaya aur mere kota aane ke baad hum finacialyy itne stable nhi rhe aur yaaha marks bhi nhi aa rha taane aur denge me socha kisi aur school se 12th krlu jaha kam fees ho pr mera ek dost bola transfer karane me itna aasan nhi h some
please helppp🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 mujhe kisi ne bataya reddit ke baare me to meine post kiye to pata nhi kya karma low dikha raha h mujhse kuch samach nhi aa rha papa datenge bahut

bhai relatives ne dimaag ka bhosda kar diya hai
screenshot mang re result ka
mein edit kar ke bhej rha hu
mujhe ye bata do kya vo mera result check kar skte hai agar mein roll no. ke sath bhej du toh??
admit card ki details nHI HAI!!

It's 13 may my result was announced at 11.50 am .. i was little nurvous bcause i thought i might have passed anyway.. I have seen many people passed exams who don't know anything.
First let me start my story since childhood
Mai bachpan se thoda sa padhayi mai nalayak tha school skip krne ke bahane bnata tha ()... Dheeere dheeere . 8th class tak avg student se achha ho gya tha padhne me aacha score kia 9th k kuchh mahino baad COVID aagya tha 9th v online exam deke nikal gyii..kuchh nhi padha saal bhar bass kuchh games khelta tha youtube chalata .. uss time thoda sa ethical hacking me thoda sa pair rakh dia... class 10th me April me mere dad ko COVID hua ..and he passed away (2021) it was the most painful moment but mai itna dumb/ch##ya tha, tab kya sahi h kya galat iska koi smz nhi tha , Papa k gurajrne ke 3 din baad hi mai gaming mai guss gya ye soch k ki youtube krunga aur paise se ghar sambhal pauga(first & worst decision of my life) .. uss time pubg m tha , papa k guzarne ke un 13 dino v mai 9 10 ghante game khelta tha rec krta achha video nhi nikalta delete kr deta tha...(Device 3gb + screen cracked) Itna time waste hua 59% score kia thodi bahut padke kyuki exam time me game khelta tha.. bolta tha sabko mai v scout ki trh lakho kamauga ..... 10th barbaad Hui 59%. Score kia ghar pariwar me case wase ka chakkar (family issue) toh ham 3no (mai , Meri bhen, mummy) ne hometown chhor dia 100 km door rhne lage fir meri... Kuchh din baad meri ek sabse badi bhn(didn't mention above) , unhone suicide kr lia zeher kha k (kisi ladke se pyar th) (June 2022) kuchh mahino baad meri 11th class start Hui aur mai nalayak tha kuchh aata tha nhi , aur sab teachers se argue krta tha .... Ki mujhe chemistry smz nhi aati , (ofc base clear nhi tha toh)... Unse yahi bolta rha mai apna dekh lunga aap musse mat kaho , aur sake samne bezzti marte the sir log , 11th me 25% attendance gyi jata hi nhi tha mummy ko mna kr deta tha Ghar baithke game khelta sabke taane sunta... Kuchh videos upload Kiye fir chhor dia upload karna( kuchh nhi hoga sochke). 11th me compartment (physics) . inn dinoo andrew tate , iman gadzi , kuchh podcast sunn leta tha... Ghar pe mummy ne support Kia kisi ko na bata k .. same 12th gyi Kam attendence , padhayi v nhi kia .. last month mai Thora bahut padhh let tha .... Exam time me 'pass ho hi jaunga' soch k Thora bahut game khel leta tha.....
Recently mai local mai digital marketing ka job krne lga tha Aaj 3rd day tha 10k/m pe AAJJ JAB RESULT AAYA toh dekha ki ESSENTIAL REPEAT (failed) abb kya kruu bahut ghabrahat ho rhi h ...
Private addmission ka process kya h bta dena , mai toh ek rassi(rope) khareedne jara 🥺

CBSE me 68.8 aaye hai( ek mark aur ata to 69 ho jate). JEE ke liye drop liya thha. Mujhe laga bahut gaaliya padengi, but surprisingly they were very supportive. They asked me "aage ka kya plan hai" I replied that i will continue to prepare jee and will give improvement. Aur unhone ne enthusiasm ke sath support kiya. I was crying like a baby, to unhone bola "kis liye ro rahe ho, jo hona thha ho gya, itni si baat par kon rota hai". I misunderstood my mother, she is the best women in this world. I disrespected her so many times, talked to her rudely and still she was so supportive.