Genocide Reigns
(note: I'm an indie game developer making an action/horror title called Phantasphere. This story is a spin off set in the same universe)
Year 2480X Ryze County Police Department
He's coming. The ensuing panic spread like a virus infecting all present with symptoms of looming dread. Officers worked steadfast to prepare also taking what time remained to train the few combat hardened civilians whom had fled to the station earlier. If only they knew. This demon that presented itself as a man had led a string of senseless massacres across the country. Only recently had it begun to prioritize police stations and army bases as a means of breaking the will of civilians who knew they would be next. Officers from several counties across the states were transferred here for this last stand. This Genocide must not continue. Gracia checked her pistol. Some 20 bullets remained. "I can do this", she thought, "I have to". She had dealt with similar cases before. Some poor soul is overtaken by some inextricably evil force and makes it their life's work to propagate death. Gracia had killed quite a few already. Live arrests weren't always possible. Beyond saving, careful interrogations of the scarce live catches yielded a startling connection. These killers all alluded to a well of overwhelming hatred and despair that consumed them after making eye contact with...Pale, black eyed entities. Some type of demon? Ghost maybe? The idea seemed nonsensical, but there was evidence nonetheless that some outside force was using them to fulfill some unknown purpose. At the present time, all they could do was stop the killers after they had killed. It was always too late by then and more would appear randomly elsewhere. What good could be done here in an isolated station hoping to stop one guy out of possibly hundreds? "The guy we're waiting for is different from the others," detective Evans spoke from the center of a crowd nearby. Gracia moved in closer. "The others typically strike from the shadows, hide their faces behind masks, and prefer to get up close and personal with their victims. What we're dealing with is on a completely different scale. The trail of bloodshed this guy leaves is too difficult for the media to cover up. He loves the spectacle. Headlining the news. We can't keep using the burst pipeline excuse for 6 stations being destroyed in a row. We have to stop him before the world at large finds out. You wonder why we need so many people here? Its simple. We're gonna out-man this one man. He always attacks stations through the front door. Like other killers he's fast, strong- you know the usual, but he also uses guns." "What!", a voice rang out from the crowd. "They aren't supposed to do that!" another gasped. Officer Lary spoke with a cheesy grin" Ya tellin' me we just gotta deal with a regular ass gunman eh? That's a welcome change of pace init? Heck I'm too old to be running around being chased like I'm in some scary movie". The detective rebutted" You don't get it. He uses guns. Not a handgun, not rifles, not boom sticks, not rpgs, not knives not grenades but ALL of them. He uses guns. Plural. It'll take essentially an army to match his arsenal. He used to be a man named -redacted-, but in his pursuit of chaos he has become Genocide." A dark form manifests from the night outside the station. Genocide is coming.
Bang! something slams into the front door. Everyone freezes. Officer Tatum edges slowly to it, shockgun in hand. By no means lethal, the shockgun was lighter, easy to control, and could stun targets temporarily. If Genocide was here, Tatum could stun him and duck for cover leaving the station free to light him up like a Christmas tree. That was the plan they came up with. He got closer to the glass door and peered outside. He was met with hate filled bloodshot eyes framed by an unkempt beard and wild straggly hair. Tatum felt some relief. He knew the man outside. It was Jim Jimenez. Jim was a former drug dealer turned informant. He was found out and had to flee from his old life. He became homeless, hiding in plane sight. This allowed him safety at the cost of his mental health. Tatum knew the man, but those eyes were not his. Tatum blinked and saw that the look of malice had vanished. What he instead saw was a helpless, wounded man, bleeding from the right arm pleading for help. Tatum looked behind Jim, eyeing the empty lot. The coast seemingly clear Tatum unlocked the door and let Jim in. Jim had been roaming the town looking for shelter and tried squatting in an abandoned looking apartment complex. There he found that the building contained several murdered families some succumbing to gunshots but the majority having met their end to fire and suffocation. Jim had decided to make his way to the station to tell police what happened and met trouble on the way. He described getting stabbed by a man wearing a trench coat with long dark hair. Despite the injuries, Jim could move surprisingly well and seemed to ignore the pain. Jim insisted that the man had spared him on the condition he deliver a message. "What message?" Tatum asked. Jim beckoned him to come closer. Tatum leaned in and Jim whispered, "Tell them. Tell them that Genocide is coming closer." The following events were a blur. Jim had concealed the knife he was stabbed with. He stabbed Tatum 4 times in the chest and wrestled his shockgun away. Using Tatum as a shield, Jim engaged everyone in the lobby. Jim wasn't himself. He was stronger. He was faster. He was tactical. He would stun an officer in place only to stab them and use their as a body shield. No one could get a clear shot without hitting a colleague. Gracia watched the scene unfold. In minutes Jim had acquired a magnum from the holster of one of his victims. In seconds 3 officers had their heads exploded. The magnum rounds coated the walls red with those they hit and stained the clothes of those they missed. Gracia felt fear rising in her chest. She calmed herself and tried to think. She saw the bodies on the ground. The blood. She saw how dismissively Jim stepped over them. Like they were nothing. Like trash. She saw the man firing erratically into groups of people, not so much to kill but as to cause panic. That's it! As Gracia contemplated her next move it hit her. She was knocked backwards and landed on the ground. She weakly clutched her chest. Her breathing grew shallow. Jim mad his way deeper into the station. The officers were retreating from their standoff. Jim stepped over her body and saw red staining her uniform. Just another casualty. He moved on. At this point the civilians began panicking. Everyone gave up trying to save their allies and fired blindly at the madman. "Don't shoot the messenger," Jim laughed as he stripped his latest meat shield of an automatic rifle. Detective Evans took cover behind an overturned desk. To his left Larry struggled to light a cigar. "You still think this is a cakewalk?" Evans shouted firing 2 quick shots from his gun before ducking back down. Lary lost hold of his lighter and it clattered on the ground." Crap." He reached for it and looked in the corner of the room. A mirror. He looked at it for what seemed like ages and his smirk returned " Y'know that mex'n gal with the short hair. Where is she? I didn't see her get shot." Evans glanced a peak at Jim spraying lead in all directions. Behind him was a corpse. Evans blinked. It seemed to be getting closer. Its her. Gracia painstakingly inched her way into Jim's blind spot. She was roughly 6 feet away from him. Flanking him seemed like a brilliant idea but waiting idly by for the right moment as the people around her died filled her with anger. Worse still, she had to steal a blood soaked shirt from one of the deceased officers to keep up the facade. Inching ever so steadily she mad it within 3 feet of Jim. She reached behind her belt and unclipped a pair of handcuffs. Screams could be heard as more people were hit. Gracia couldn't wait any longer. Fluidly she got to her feet and rushed Jim. She kicked the back of his knee causing him to stumble as she put the handcuffs on him. Figuratively. The handcuffs were around Jim's neck. She yanked him back causing his gun to drop. "You don't know what you're doing." Jim spat. "We all need to accept it. The end of days is upon us. Death rides his horse through these forsaken lands. We must serve or be sacrificed in turn. Accept it!"He elbowed Gracia in the ribs causing her to let go. He spun around and lunged at her. She landed on her back, Jim steadily choking her. Gracia thought fast. She couldn't struggle. Jim was too strong. She delivered a precise chop to the center of Jim's neck which was exposed. Jim lurched back to catch his breath. A clean shot. A bullet pierced through Jim's back. Weakened, Gracia rolled him over and began punching him repeatedly using the handcuffs as brass knuckles. The sound of Jim's skull cracking echoed through the station. This would go on for nearly 20 seconds before Gracia stopped, checked his pulse, confirmed Jim was still alive, then finally put the cuffs on Jim's wrists.
Click. Bodies are wrapped and moved to a makeshift storage room. Click. The available weapons are gathered and redistributed. Click. Officers are assigned to sniping positions on neighboring buildings. Click. Police cruisers circle the lot outside. Click. In the holding cell, Jim opens his eyes. Click. Lary flicks his lighter. Click. Gracia sips coffee from a paper cup. Click. Shells hit the ground at the feet of Genocide. Click. Genocide walks outside a cafe and looks at the station in the distance. Click. Lary clicks his lighter.
"All ya'll gon' fall," Jim ranted." You can't drain the ocean. You can't put out the sun. Evil will always exist. That there Genocide is proof . I saw him. Saw myself within his eyes. Saw the evil in me that I could no longer try to hide. He taught me to embrace the darkness within. Its in all of us begging to be let out. Can you hear it!" Lary clicked his lighter and got up from his chair. He grabbed a cup of liquor from another officer mid sip and walked over to Jim. He doused it on Jim, the liquid stinging his open wounds. Jim yelped. Across the station, radios blurred to life. Several of their lookouts on the outside had been killed. "He's gon' get ya," Jim smiled imitating Lary's signature grin. "Genocide! Genocide! Genocide!" The other inmates saw the chance to irritate Lary and joined in all shouting in unison,"Ge-No-Cide! Ge-No-Cide! Ge-No-Cide!" The chanting grew louder. Unbearable. They invoked upon the name of the beast, and so it came.
Genocide is upon us. A wave of dread spread across the officers. They could feel its presence. Gracia knew the sensation. The awful aura that the other killers gave off. This was different. Far more oppressive. She struggled to breathe as the air got colder. Her instincts screamed for her to run. She could only imagine what the others were going through. Its time. Across the lot Genocide stood. A siren blared over the intercom. "Everyone get into positions!" Evans yelled. Wayne finished setting the last of the c4 near the station entrance. "That's the last of them. Have remote triggers set around all the major hallways. I'll be in the security room ready to pull the switch." Wayne acted as an explosives expert. His job was to detonate bombs placed throughout the station to slow down Genocide should it enter the building. He would stay in the security room, monitoring the cameras and giving real time updates on the officers' positions. From the holding cell, inmates chanted for Genocide. Lary got off his phone" That bastard mixed us up. How did we not notice?" Evans asked what he meant. Lary, dumbfounded, said that most of the town was already dead. Genocide had broken his usual pattern. He went on a killing spree across a defenseless town BEFORE attacking the police station. They had let everyone down. The people they swore to protect. This Genocide was a monster, but he was still a man. Capable of learning from his past actions. Planning. Adapting. It wasn't in his style to stealthily kill his victims or even use a silencer on any of his guns, but an exception had been made for tonight. An exception that would cost them. Gracia was stationed on the second floor. She peered out the window. Her heart skipped a beat. Two cruisers made slow donuts patrolling the lot and standing unmoving between them was a man all in black. Gracia called in to Wayne asking if he saw anything outside. Wayne said the monitors were all clear then checked again. He cursed. He noticed small details were off. The cameras showing the outside of the station were wrong. Sure they showed the same scenery and weather but cars passed by on screen too frequently for a dead town. Too many to make sense for the quarantine they had set in place. Wayne concluded that the cameras had been hacked. Different prerecorded footage was being shown on the live feed to misdirect them. Gracia saw the man look up at her. A light rain started to fall. The officers patrolling outside were contacted. From the holding cells, inmates called for genocide.

I have no one to talk to at the moment and I am just trying to stop crying while at work. I have been dealing with depression from feeling guilt of working full time and not being there for my son and all the physical changes from after having a child. My son is a year old. I had been doing better these past few months, going to therapy, and feeling better in the morning. I cannot stop crying today because of how my mothers day weekend went and fighting with my husband.
A couple weeks ago we went shopping as a family to get birthday presents for my dad and brother-in-law. while we were out, my husband surprised me with a awesome set of bath bombs from lush, which are my favorite and said they were from my son. I was so grateful and I noticed that they are really expensive so I told him please don’t buy me more expensive gifts for Mother’s Day as we are trying to save for a family vacation. I didn’t think that would translate into not doing any type of gesture on Mother’s Day. I woke up on Mother’s Day with no card or even a hug and kiss wishing me happy Mother’s Day. My husband comes from a broken family and did not have the best relationship with his mom, so I tried to let it go and remind myself that it might not be the same for him as we did growing up. I remember that would be the first thing I would do in the morning is find my mom and wish her a happy mother’s day with a big hug…
We still had a decent day together (I always look forward to our weekend time) and I tried to hold it in but I cracked and said something. My husband felt bad and then wrote some cards at the end of the day for me. My son has been teething so bad and been really cranky for the past week so on top of his dysregulation I am struggling, and I am an OT… I help my students regulate every day. This morning, my husband snapped at me when I was trying to position my son on the couch and told me he doesn’t like to sit like that. I immediately left the room and got ready for work and just left. My heart can’t take criticism right now, I already don’t feel like I get to do mom things enough. I guess I am better off just being at work, yet I am hiding in my treatment room just crying.

I (30M) am interested in a 23F. This started when my friend mentioned me while talking to her and sent some pictures, to which she replied that I was good looking. So he sent me some of her pictures, with her telling him to send me some concrete pictures and I told him she was gorgeous and that if she was interested he could give her my phone number. So he did and she wrote me in WhatsApp. To clarify, I've only talked to her in WhatsApp and she is the best friend of my friend's girlfriend.
We started to talk and have good conversation. I was told by my friend that this girl broke up two months ago after a two year relationship but my friend asked me the first day already if I'd like to have a romantic relationship with her, while she has stated in numerous times since then that she needs time to heal from that break up. That first day I talked to her about this circumstance and told her that I didn't bother to chat with her and that I didn't want to speed up anything.
But after a week or so I was uncomfortable with the situation because my friend was asking everyday "how it's going with her" or insisting that I talk to her after a one day absence while I wasn't seeing any signals from here that she was attracted to me so I told her that my friend had messes up things and that maybe we shouldn't chat further. She got mad and blocked me but my friend talked with both, convinced me that she was interested in me, so she unblocked me and we continued to talk.
After that, we continued to talk for another week and I started to like her more. But when she asked me to send her my reactions to her pictures from the first day, she just replied "thanks you". She didn't make me any compliment and eventually changed the subject of the conversation. She was still talking to my friend about me and sending him some of our conversation screenshots.
That made me a bit angry so I told her that she could be confident with me and that she didn't have to tell everything to my friend. I also tell her that I was told by my friend that she was attracted to me but I wasn't being given any signals by her of this. She insisted that she was post break-up and that she wasn't going to simply fall in love.
I talked to my friend and his girlfriend and they told me that I needed to go slowly but I replied that I was doing that from the start, but that I needed something to keep me interested in that possible relationship and that I was knowing of all that supposed interested by her from what he was telling me, not directly by her.
They tried to convince me of her interest by telling me that she wouldn't have unblocked me the previous time if she wasn't interested, or chatting me everyday when she works Mon-Sat during almost all day. Or about her will to meeting me in person. I told them that I was going to continue talking to her but that I'd lose romantic interest if time passes without any signals from her.
So I decided to continue chatting with her and so I did. More than a week after that, I chat with her more than before and I think we're develop in trust and good feeling but I don't see any signals of that supposed attraction or interest in having a romantic relationship with me. Talking about favourite colors she took the chance to send me some groul pictures with her and he again replied my moderate compliments with "thanks you". I sent her some group pictures where I was present and she didn't say anything about my appearance and also changed the subject of the conversation.
This girl continuously talks about her best friend's relationship and all her boyfriend does for his friend. She is very close to her friend and they share everything. She mentioned his ex boyfriend negatively a few times as well , as her break up was a very bad one as she was cheated on by her ex. There has been always the conversation about meeting me in person but she doesn't have much time, she uses to spend her only free day in the week with her family.
So now I'm wondering what she really wants because some of my friends are telling me that my friend has been confusing things and that she probably only sees me as a colleague while my friend keeps talking about that possible relationship and her supposed interest in having one with me.
She cried when I was talking about stopping talking with her and she has a personalized background in our conversation in WhatsApp with her profile picture with a song about finding light in a new person after darkness. She always answers very fast and message by message to me and has developed a lot of confidence because she has told me some personal experiences and private things about her best friend etc.
So what does she want?

I elected to let the Animus decide for me, but I thought it would switch genders much more frequently. I’m about 30 hours in, 62 power level, I just completed my first alliance, and have completed numerous side quests, but the Animus has kept the gender female the whole time. I like female Eivor just fine, so I’m thinking I’ll just switch it to always female. Seems like it will be a bit jarring at this point whenever it finally changes. But I’m wondering if anyone completed the game letting the Animus choose the whole time, and if you liked it that way or if you would have done it differently. I’m curious to hear anyone’s thoughts on this. Also, here are a few unrelated observations.
-The way the storylines and interactions are necessarily gender neutral make it somewhat wholesome with how egalitarian it portrays this society (a woman leading a raid crew, numerous pseudo romantic encounters with other women, etc.) if not a bit ahistorical. A quick google search tells me there’s debate on whether female Vikings existed, which seems to imply it’s at least a strong possibility. I learned recently that one thing the Romans found peculiar about the Celts was how the women in many tribes had (comparatively at the time) so many rights. Maybe the creators of this game were trying to channel a similar dynamic.
-This is my first time playing an AC game. One criticism I’ve heard is that it isn’t much of an AC game. I understand that critique from what I knew about the franchise beforehand. As someone just getting into it now, the few directly related AC storylines are super fun to me, and I’ve found myself diving into the lore I’ve missed out on.
I played for about an hour on PS4 before my wife and our friend surprised me with a PS5 for my birthday. I was then pleasantly surprised with a free PS5 upgrade for AC Valhalla. It was pretty on the PS4, but it is absolutely stunning on the PS5. It has me wanting to upgrade to a bigger and newer TV.
How the hell do I keep my addiction to this game in check? It has been decades since a video game has ensnared me like this. I am staying up too late, getting to work late, and not spending near as much time in the lovely spring weather as I ought to. This is my one complaint so far lol.

What's $UPDOG? $Updog's X monetization earnings from the first 2 weeks of monetization came back. $163.91 was the total payout from only 2 weeks of activity. Imagine how that will grow exponentially over time. The funds the team has will rapidly grow and be able to be used for marketing and other potential tools that might be released in the near future... The memes and content are unavoidable. With an abnormally high 100% burned liquidity of over 100k at a MC of 550k the team is looking to allocate those current funds (and more) to a massive upcoming marketing push that will change the game. More exciting news to come!

What is deception? According to the Cambridge dictionary deception is "the act of hiding the truth, especially to gain an advantage". In the world we live in, where we are kept ignorant by the established control structures we are deceived all the time in order to place our trust in them. They find and use new ways to deceive us all the time. Their aim, of course, is to keep us ignorant in order to manipulate us without our knowledge to achieve their agenda - whatever that may be. The greatest deception was carried out by the master of deception - Satan himself. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world that he doesn't exist."
Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is power.
If a person has cancer and does not know it then the cancer will eventually result in definite death. If that same person became aware of the cancer then at least there is a fighting chance that the cancer will be defeated. The world today is suffering. So many issues are running unabated due to our ignorance. The wars are a significant cause for the climate change we see and we are distracted with replacing gas gazzling vehicles. The political class is empowered simply to keep us distracted by whatever means possible. Democracy is a system which gives the illusion of self determination and control while in reality we see that it does nothing for the people who are duped by elections. The status quo carries on or becomes much worse and the cycle continues.
Who benefits?
Just as Satan has greater power when he is believed to be imaginary, the servants of Satan also use deception to empower themselves for the sole purpose elevating themselves above the rest. How they benefit depends on what their objective is. The war mongers get more war. The power hungry get more power. The greedy take more. The system they have worked tirelessly to impose on us in secret over centuries had reached the pinnacle of operation. Humanity is enslaved by invisible shackles and kept distracted so that true freedom is always out of reach. Like a hamster in a wheel, humanity is kept in this situation of subservience.
Why?
True freedom would mean that humanity would become much greater than it currently is. Our limits would extend beyond this planet all problems would be solved. There would be no hunger. There would be no suffering. There would be no inequality. No illness. No conflict.
How?
Throughout time, since the dawn of creation, there has been a battle. A struggle. Light vs darkness. The prince of darkness had always had an agenda to prove to The Source of Light - God. It relates to the real story of creation and Adam pbuh. When God had placed the soul within the physical body of Adam and commanded the Angels to prostrate to him, one stood tall a refused. Since then he, Satan, has been on a mission to prove that his creation - mankind - was unworthy of being submitted to despite there being a soul within from God.
God is the finest of planners.
It was always God's plan to overcome the Satanic agenda. Light was always going to defeat darkness. This plan always revolved around the very same concept. God always blew His spirit in to one man. A man who represents God in every day and age. All creation would submit to this man who carried the will of God. Today, that man is calling the world to support him against the Satanic agenda. He had come with the will of God. He is empowered by it. It has been ordained that this man will be victorious where no man had before. Darkness will fall at his feet.
Deception will end.
When this man, the Riser of the family of Muhammad, establishes the kingdom of heaven on Earth, justice and peace will be implemented. All problems will be solved. No human will go hungry. No animals will suffer. The climate will return to good health. All illnesses will be cured. Development will accelerate beyond imagination. Space will be attainable to the masses not just the privileged.
The only requirement is acceptance and support.
Will you accept the leadership of Truth? Will you support he who is empowered by God to guide? What would you give to see the world fixed on every level?

Hi Everyone, quick back story. In December 2021 I (35 M) got very sick (possibly COVID), and had an episode of gross hematuria. This cleared up after a day or two but I was concerned so I went to my general doctor. He ordered some bloodwork, and said everything was fine, so I forgot about it and moved on.
Then in April 2022, I got sick again, and the blood came back. Same thing, tests were "fine", and since my doctor said they were ok I didn't look too closely. However, I did notice that I had microscopic blood on all my urinalysis over the same time period. I decided to push on that, and to make a long story short, I went through the entire workup with urology, who basically gave up and said "some people have blood in their urine, you're fine).
Fast forward to the end of 2023, and the visible blood came back, again while sick. I pushed a bit harder, and got referred to a nephrologist. Another key piece of information is that I used a standard dose of Ibuprofen (either pill form or Niquil), each time the visible blood presented.
While waiting for that appointment, I discovered IGA nephropathy on my own and basically self-diagnosed. When I had my appointment with the Nephrologist, she basically said I have a "probable" diagnosis of IGA nephropathy, but didn't want to biopsy because it wouldn't change our treatment plan (Mediterranean diet and bloodwork in a year). She circled "Stage 2" on the kidney stages paper she gave me. During this same time I also dug into my previous lab results and started to look at my eGFR scores. Now, I know they changed the way they measured this at some point (removed the race from the calculation, so not sure how that plays in), but these are were my numbers:
eGFR
November 2016: 93
December 2017: 92
July 2021: 99
December 2021: 89
eGFcr:
May 2022: 88
November 2023: 71 (Morning after a late night soccer game, i was very banged up).
November 2023: 84
December 2023: 79
Since December 2023, I changed my diet: cut out gluten, far less dairy, not much alcohol, and no more protein powder. I eat regular whole foods, just nothing processed and not as much red meat as I had been. Due to the diet, I probably lost 15 lbs. (some of which is probably muscle, I am in shape).
I then went to a functional medicine doctor, just to see if they had any insight. She ordered labs through her preferred testing facility. My numbers just came back:
EGFR: 115
So, now I am completely confused. As far as I can tell, they are using the same formula to calculate this. This most recent test showed my creatinine to be much lower than it has been, maybe due to diet changes? The only other thing I changed was I didn't exercise 24 hours before the test this time.
My question is (and I of course am going to talk to my nephrologist), what do I make of this? Can diet really impact things this much? As of my last test, the microscopic blood is still in my urine, but I have never had any protein detected (and I've had probably 8 urinalysis done since 2021).
Thank you in advance for any insight.

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Off late, say 6-7 months, we’ve been having extreme fights and arguments. I’ve been diagnosed with cptsd and he knows all about it. Although our arguments are huge, at the crux of it, the reason is always minor. However, most of the fights are started by him. The reason given is mostly my behaviour. How I was rude in saying “ok” or being blunt. We’ve had multiple discussions around how we both feel but it mostly always ends with a list of things I’m supposed to change or improve on while he maintains that he’ll “control his reactions”. Owing to my mental health diagnosis, I’ve pleaded with him to give me sometime (5 mins) to come back with a helpful and productive response to any issue he might raise but I don’t feel that that ask is respected.
Additionally, his anger has always been bad and off late, it keeps manifesting more and more violently. Anytime I try to express how I’m feeling or recount certain incidents, he says I’m gaslighting him or being manipulative when I know from my heart that the intention is never that and that I’m only telling my side of the story.
There’s also a huge list of things that he claims he cannot provide for me (basic things for most in a relationship like meeting each other’s friends, families, etc.) owing to his circumstances but when I ask for understanding that I reckon is basic (like giving me sometime to process things he’s saying and then come back with a response, show some level of appreciation, etc.), he makes it seem like I’m asking for too much from him.
I have to think and practice a 100 times before bringing up an issue with him and also wait for the right time. All of this is taking an even worse toll on my mental health because so far I’ve believed him to be a good, honest guy. I’ve been with some horrible men but he’s nothing like them. It’s just these issues plus a few more which when I speak with him about, he makes me believe all stem from how my behaviour impacted him and all the wrongs he does are a response of my behaviours.
I’m just extremely confused about how to navigate through all of this. I love him deeply and want this to work. But I’m at a loss and I feel very confused about whether - if at all - my feelings are even valid. Any insight/input would be much appreciated.

My spouse had these two friends who used the hell out of them. Anytime my spouse was successful, they would create drama to drag my spouse down. They would try to convince my spouse that they can't be successful. These friends were also always a one way relationship.
My spouse would always communicate to them, but the only time my spouse would hear from these friends was only when they wanted something. My spouse never smiled around these people, and could never be themselves. These friends never showed interest that they really wanted to get to know my spouse of who they are as a person either.
They've always gotten into multiple arguments, and my spouse says that this is normal for a friendship. These friends would go back to acting normal and say their sorry but then would always revert back to being toxic. They even physically tried to harm my spouse.
So my spouse questioned how they where being treated in this "friendship" and these friends replied that the friendship they had with my spouse is a game and they like how they felt that they had more things in life then my spouse did for why they would only be around.
Added to this, long story short, my spouse has sufferes from childhood abuse from their abusive narcissistic mother, and these friends choose to be associated with my spouses abusive mother.
My spouse did cut ties with their family and these friends, and sought out therapy to deal with the traumas. And I cannot say enough to not only how my spouse has improved but how healthier life had become without these abusive toxic people in it.
Unfortunately, with it recently having been mother's day, something must've triggered my spouse sending them into depression and they broke no contact with one of the friends.
My spouse believes these friends can change, even though for over five years my spouse had given them chances to and they never did. In fact, they would tell my spouse that my spouse is the one that needs mental help.
My spouse keeps telling me I'm trying to control them and manipulate them when I had expressed how I wouldn't like it if they talked to these people and it's a friendship I would never support for them to have because of how they treat them (my spouse).
I've continued to express how I am afraid given that not only how these friends chose to be associated with my spouses abusers, but also how they've tried to harm my spouse and that this is not normal behavior in a friendship that they (my spouse) believes it to be. And with my spouse trying to rekindle this toxic friendship, I feel it's a door my spouse is letting back open for the abuse to continue again.
I've encouraged my spouse to find healthier people to surround themselves with, because I strongly believe they're putting their time and energy into the wrong people who would never do the same for them. And my spouse thinks they can't find better friends.

Hi Everyone, quick back story. In December 2021 I (35 M) got very sick (possibly COVID), and had an episode of gross hematuria. This cleared up after a day or two but I was concerned so I went to my general doctor. He ordered some bloodwork, and said everything was fine, so I forgot about it and moved on.
Then in April 2022, I got sick again, and the blood came back. Same thing, tests were "fine", and since my doctor said they were ok I didn't look too closely. However, I did notice that I had microscopic blood on all my urinalysis over the same time period. I decided to push on that, and to make a long story short, I went through the entire workup with urology, who basically gave up and said "some people have blood in their urine, you're fine).
Fast forward to the end of 2023, and the visible blood came back, again while sick. I pushed a bit harder, and got referred to a nephrologist. Another key piece of information is that I used a standard dose of Ibuprofen (either pill form or Niquil), each time the visible blood presented.
While waiting for that appointment, I discovered IGA nephropathy on my own and basically self-diagnosed. When I had my appointment with the Nephrologist, she basically said I have a "probable" diagnosis of IGA nephropathy, but didn't want to biopsy because it wouldn't change our treatment plan (Mediterranean diet and bloodwork in a year). During this same time I also dug into my previous lab results and started to look at my eGFR scores. Now, I know they changed the way they measured this at some point (removed the race from the calculation, so not sure how that plays in), but these are were my numbers:
eGFR
November 2016: 93
December 2017: 92
July 2021: 99
December 2021: 89
eGFcr:
May 2022: 88
November 2023: 71 (Morning after a late night soccer game, i was very banged up).
November 2023: 84
December 2023: 79
Since December 2023, I changed my diet: cut out gluten, far less dairy, not much alcohol, and no more protein powder. I eat regular whole foods, just nothing processed and not as much red meat as I had been. Due to the diet, I probably lost 15 lbs. (some of which is probably muscle, I am in shape).
I then went to a functional medicine doctor, just to see if they had any insight. She ordered labs through her preferred testing facility. My numbers just came back:
EGFR: 115
So, now I am completely confused. As far as I can tell, they are using the same formula to calculate this. This most recent test showed my creatinine to be much lower than it has been, maybe due to diet changes? The only other thing I changed was I didn't exercise 24 hours before the test this time.
My question is (and I of course am going to talk to my nephrologist), what do I make of this? Can diet really impact things this much? As of my last test, the microscopic blood is still in my urine, but I have never had any protein detected (and I've had probably 8 urinalysis done since 2021).
Thank you in advance for any insight.

Hi! I’m looking for some advice / experiences and maybe some reassurance.
We’ve had our grey 1.5 years and his anxiety over that time gradually made really great improvements. He doesn’t have separation anxiety. His anxiety is mostly around loud noises, busy areas, some urban areas and children. With gradual desensitisation he improved and stopped freezing and was visibly more comfortable on walks (sniffing, happy bouncy walk). He also quickly started to get excited for his walks and loved going out.
However after a big stressor this year he has regressed. He had a big spinal bleed in Feb which he recovered quickly from and he was on crate rest for 1 month. He coped really well all things considered. A couple months after (and once he’d recovered) we visited family (that he’s met before) for a week which he found stressful but did settle and enjoyed my mums garden.
(He also was excited when he could get to going on walks again and even when he was paralysed would take me to the front door for walks.)
Since these events he’s been noticeably more anxious - jumpier on walks, freezing in places he’s not fond of but was more relaxed in before his accident. His dog walker (who comes rarely as I usually just walk him myself) came today and he completely refused to walk with her - he’s frozen on walks with her before but never this bad. Then when I’ve tried to take him he has also frozen more regularly in areas he has been fine in recently - generally just seeming more worried. I had even given her some chicken to give him while walking which he usually goes mad for but wasn’t bothered.
I’m guessing things will improve back to a baseline again with time but feel like I’m missing something or need to be doing more. His routine is fairly consistent too and his vet has found no sign of pain on check ups. He has a crate which is open and serves as his ‘den’.
Owners of anxious greys, what things helped yours? How did things change over time? Has medication helped?
Thank you!

CHARACTER AGENCY

It's ridiculous how passive and honestly "NPC" the other characters in the world are. For an installment in the series that wanted to dip deeper into the "Roleplay" side of things, it's absolutely crucial that CK3 find a way to make the other characters in the world feel like real, living, breathing, and independent people, and it currently falls flat on that.
Here are just some ways that you could improve character agency in the game:

• Characters should be able to push for appointments, regularly. How am I a god that just comes in and names every single knight and court position in the land with not a breath of reaction from my entire court. Do you know how many people would've had the king's ear in this time and been pushing for themselves or their friends or family for these appointments? Think of the court intrigue you've seen in shows like Game of Thrones or Shogun or Succession, now think how well the game captures that feeling. The -40 opinion penalty for major vassals not being on your council is a boring static modifier that doesn't take into account personality and context and only applies to your council, not to court positions or knighthoods. The random events in your Royal Court where people push for appointments are infrequent, pretty random, have little consequence, and are actually entirely optional if you never Hold Court. People should be pushing to fill your different roles regularly and react positively or negatively if you pick people they like or don't like. Here are some examples:
  • People should be able to push for themselves to be appointed, for their friends, for their family, for people they respect, for people of their culture and/or religion, for people with similar personalities to them.
  • People should oppose the appointment of their rivals, people from families their family is feuding with, people they dislike, cultures or religions they oppose, etc.
  • Personality traits should affect who people push for. Deceitful characters may want you to purposely appoint incompetent knights, bodyguards, food tasters, etc. if they dislike you. Zealous characters prioritize religion far above other qualities. Diligent characters prioritize the most competent candidate. Vengeful characters highly oppose their enemies being chosen. Greedy characters prioritize appointments for themselves or their family. Impatient characters will get upset if you leave the position vacant for too long. Trusting characters will only push for candidates they really know well.
• Characters should be able to refuse appointments, or resign from positions. Maybe the talented firstborn son of the king does not wish for the duty to rule and refuses the election to King and instead wishes to spend his days frequenting brothels and fighting in tournaments. Maybe a martially gifted vassal that has huge estates and is living comfortably in his manor off of his rents doesn't want to be appointed as my Marshall and chase and stamp down peasant revolts for a living, so he comes up with an excuse to refuse the appointment. Perhaps I need to change his mind by paying him a visit to persuade him in person, or by hosting a great feast in my hall with him as the honorary guest, or by arranging a marriage between our families. Perhaps my masterful Steward is offended at the lowborns and heathens I have hired into my council, and resigns out of protest. Perhaps my Marshall is ashamed at how badly the last war went under his purview, and resigns out of shame. Perhaps my Chancellor just heard news that his son was killed in a hunting accident back home, and resigns to go spend time on his estate with his family.
• Characters should react to actions the player takes.
  • Won a great battle? Maybe a knight approaches you after the battle wishing to enter your service after hearing of the tale. Maybe your marshall approaches you and congratulates on your generalship. If it was against heathens, maybe the Pope writes you a letter congratulating you on the victory of Christendom. Maybe a vassal approaches you and offers to build a statue in his domain to honour your victory.
  • Declared a new war? Maybe a vassal refuses the call to war citing some excuse, withholding his levies and giving you a reason to punish him in the future. Maybe another vassal joins with his personal troops as well because he is personally interested in success in this war.
  • Built a building in your vassal's land? Your vassal should thank you and like you more.
• Characters should regularly ask for favours from the player, and the player should be able to ask them in return. Maybe a an existing councillor asks that you hire him to another position for which he thinks he is better suited. Perhaps a vassal approaches you with a marriage offer, and in return offers to build a church in your honour. Perhaps a vassal approaches you and asks that you declare war on the country that is raiding their lands, and in return offers to increase his obligations to you. Perhaps a vassal asks that you raise his children with the greater learning available in your court, and in return he will send you his brother to serve as your knight. Perhaps the pope asks you to build a church and in return offers to send you some learned monks and an artifact.
• Characters should regularly travel to visit each other or do things. It seems like the only thing characters beside me do is lead armies, and go on hunts. Why don't my councillors go back to visit their estates? To see their families? Why don't distant family members travel to see each other? To host family reunions?
• The player should be able to consult decisions with other characters. What is the point of my councillors if they never give me counsel? If I am planning on giving out land to new vassals, each of them should be there with suggestions on who I should give it to, or whether I should even give it away at all. And it should not just be my councillors, sometimes these decisions are leaked and my entire court will find out, in which case many courtiers would have their own opinions on what should be done! Maybe one of my guests approaches me and begs I give the land to them due to some ancestral claim. Maybe my food taster during dinner tells me he thinks it should go to my existing vassal X because he manages his current estates so well. And what if I want to host an activity? I should be able to ask my councillors or courtiers which activity they wish for or think would be best to host next. Maybe they have suggestions for where to host it, how to plan it, who to invite, etc. Maybe my marshall wants a tournament but my chaplain wants a pilgrimage. Maybe in my feast, my Steward wants me to invite vassal X but my wife despises him and wishes me not to.

The fact that almost none of these features exist in a meaningful way in the game is kind of ridiculous, for a game that tries so hard to be role-play centered and story-driven. Think about how much we are missing out on because of the lack of agency of characters in the world. Imagine if other characters in the world acted like us as the player character. Think of the story opportunities if features like the above were implemented to make for more independent AI characters.

Hey guys, I have an art IG account I've shared art on for a few years it is finally at 1k followers with not a lot of activity. I don't get a lot of commissions and have a chameleon style of changing up every peice and subject I try and create originals and post some of my paintings studies.
I guess I make art for the art, I want to improve technically but platou on fundamentals quick. Each year I see the improvement and I see improvement from one year to the next in almost every way but the needle moves very small each time.
I've tried intential practice and online classes as a self taught artist, I've tried making my style readable and more authentic in how I communicate. I've tried being prosocial, joing groups and exposing myself to fantastic art and artists.
People in my daily life love what I make on surface level so I know there's something here. I tried going freelance last year but couldn't provide consistent work, again style chameleon.
Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. Just feels lonely, like good enough to consider freelance passionate enough to want to crawl out of hobby artist status. What to do what to do

In light of the skepticism towards social democratic ideals in the US, largely due to historical biases and a misunderstanding of its principles, I propose a rebranding of social democratic policies to make them more appealing. Social democracy has proven successful in various countries and offers practical solutions that align with core American values.
Let's face it, the Cold War irrevocably tainted any ideology even tangentially related to the word "social", and one could argue that this deeply ingrained aversion to terms such as "socialism" or "social democracy" is a major contributor to Sanders' loss in 2016, even though his policies would objectively benefit the lower 50% of the population.
Rebranding social democratic policies and other social democratic safety nets in a way that makes them more appealing to demographics wary of the terms like "socialism" and "social democracy" involves a strategic communication approach that emphasizes shared values, practical benefits, and relatable messaging. Here are some key points that I think we should implement in order to successfully enact socialist policy that would overwhelmingly benefit the lower 50%:

• Use Inclusive and Familiar Language:

Instead of terms like "socialism" or even "social democracy," use language that resonates with American values, such as "freedom," "security," "opportunity," and "family support." Phrases like "economic security," "family benefits," and "health assurance" can frame these concepts in a more positive and accessible light. This is what the ultraconservative billionaires do with their private foundations and political non profits (Americans for Prosperity, etc.)

• Emphasize Fairness and Equality of Opportunity:

Many people are motivated by the idea of a fair playing field. Highlight how safety nets are about giving everyone a fair shot at success, not just providing handouts. For instance, explain how access to healthcare and education enables all citizens to contribute more effectively to the economy. Emphasize the fact that a lot of these "self-made" actually started out with significant family resources at their disposals (Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, etc.)

• Highlight Economic Benefits and Efficiency:

Discuss the economic rationality behind safety nets, such as reducing emergency healthcare costs through preventative care or boosting economic productivity through better-educated workers. Show how these measures can save money in the long run and stabilize the economy. Investment in education = more efficient workers = more efficient economy; therefore, it is in America's advantage to make higher education more accessible.

• Use Success Stories and Relatable Examples:

People connect with personal stories more than abstract concepts. Share success stories of individuals and communities that have benefited from these programs. Highlight examples from conservative or traditionally right-leaning areas where social programs have led to positive outcomes. The New Deal policies enacted under FDR come to mind as they were remarkably beneficial to the lower class before being systematically dismantled during the Reagan Era.

• Focus on Family and Community Values:

Frame safety nets as a way to protect and uplift families and communities, ensuring that no one is left behind during tough times. This can appeal to communal and familial instincts, which are strong in many conservative areas. Republicans LOVE family values, so finding a way to promote these policies in the name of "family" is a must.

• Stress Independence and Self-Sufficiency:

Rather than presenting safety nets as charity, frame them as tools that help people become self-sufficient. For example, job training programs can be branded as "career advancement networks," emphasizing their role in helping individuals climb the economic ladder on their own terms. This one is huge. Self-sufficiency and independence are a major reason cars are still so prevalent as apposed to public transit in this country. Figuring out a way to emphasize the importance of social policies as pivotal to these ideals is crucial.

• Leverage Bipartisan Support:

Where possible, highlight bipartisan support for certain measures, demonstrating that they are not about partisan politics but about common-sense solutions to shared problems. This can help reduce the fear of a "socialist" agenda. This one is difficult due to how obdurate Republicans can be, but garnering Republican support is essential.

• Avoid Patronizing or Condescending Tones:

When communicating these ideas, it’s crucial to respect the intelligence and concerns of the audience. Avoid talking down or dismissing their fears. Instead, acknowledge their concerns and provide thoughtful, evidence-based responses. Look, I get it - it can be hard to deal with many conservatives without feeling an air of haughtiness. But rather than contempt I propose pity: these poor people lack the requisite critical thinking skills to recognize corporate propaganda, and patronizing them only leads to further division.

• Use Local Influencers and Leaders:

Messages are often more persuasive when delivered by familiar and trusted voices. Engaging local leaders, religious figures, and influencers who can speak to the benefits of these policies in a culturally resonant way can increase acceptance and understanding. Social media is also a must. TikTok, Instagram Reels, and Youtube shorts have proven invaluable in disseminating ideologies.

• Demonstrate Government Efficiency:

Many fears around social democracies relate to perceptions of government inefficiency. Demonstrate cases where government intervention has been efficient and effective, and highlight improvements and reforms that aim to enhance government accountability and performance. Again, think FDR's New Deal.
By addressing cultural values and speaking directly to the needs and concerns of skeptical demographics, it's possible to reshape perceptions of social democratic policies in a way that emphasizes their practicality, necessity, and alignment with broadly held American values.
Rebranding our core ideals as "patriotic" and renovating them with a big Red White and Blue veneer should be our sole focus. In order to effect meaningful change, we need to use tried and true tactics borrowed from the conservative billionaire ruling class. Using their strategy of adopting ambiguous and broad-sounding yet seemingly innocuous names is essential (think "American's for Prosperity", "Club for Growth" "Institute of Economic Affairs", etc.).

We recently hired a new floater who’s pregnant and she has been rude to me since her very first day.
I’ll ask her if she knows how to something and I get back to you “yes, and I knew how to do it yesterday when you asked too”.
I came in yesterday to my room from my break and most of the babies were up. Me, thinking they haven’t been changed, say “hey, can you go ahead and start diapers?” (It was 2PM and snack was at 2, they have to be up and changed before they eat their snack. We eat 2 babies at a time). She says “they’ve all been changed but YOU can change them if you like. I feel like that’s all you ever ask me to do, is diapers”
I explained that snack was coming up and they need to be done. She says “ok, well I’ll do snack”. I said “no, I’ve got snack, I need you to do diapers”
This woman has been rude to me since the start and who goes into ECE and is reluctant to do anything other than sit down? I know she’s pregnant but that doesn’t require us all to bend over backwards for you!
My co thinks we should come to a compromise and I could let her do snack. That didn’t even pop into my head because I’m a main teacher in the room, these are my babies, and I know who can/can’t eat what, who to feed baby food if they don’t eat snack, what’s normal for them, the amount of time… I just know these things and she doesn’t. There’s very many intricate little details at snack.
And I came into my center doing diapers for everyone because it was how I could get to know the babies. I never expected to not have to do diapers and her attitude, for asking her to do her job, is baffling to me. I just don’t understand it. She also mentions how she has 4 years childcare experience like it’s a diss on me or something. I don’t care, just treat my babies well, that’s all I ask for, which includes changing them! It ain’t about me, it’s about the babies, which is should be anyway!!!
(She’s been like this in other rooms and other teachers are complaining about her too. I just don’t know how to work with her, when I tell her how or what to do, she gets offended everytime.)

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. It's almost two in the morning and I have to be up for school in a few hours. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

Understanding HTML Email Design Challenges in Outlook

Email marketing is a pivotal aspect of digital communication strategies, often leveraging HTML templates to create visually appealing and engaging messages. However, designers frequently encounter challenges when ensuring these emails display correctly across different email clients, with Outlook being particularly notorious for its rendering issues. Among these, setting the background color in HTML email templates can be problematic, leading to inconsistencies that detract from the intended user experience. This hurdle stems from Outlook's use of Microsoft Word's rendering engine, which interprets HTML and CSS differently than web browsers and other email clients.
To navigate these challenges, it's essential to understand the nuances of Outlook's rendering engine and the specific CSS properties it supports. Crafting emails that look consistent across all platforms requires a blend of technical knowledge, creativity, and a keen eye for detail. This introduction aims to shed light on why background color issues occur in Outlook and provide a foundation for exploring solutions that ensure your emails look as intended, regardless of the client. With the right approach, overcoming these obstacles is not only possible but can significantly enhance the effectiveness of your email marketing campaigns.

Command/Property	Description
VML (Vector Markup Language)	Used to specify graphical elements in XML. Essential for Outlook background compatibility.
CSS Background Properties	Standard CSS properties to define the background of HTML elements. Includes color, image, position, and repeat settings.
Conditional Comments	Used to target HTML/CSS code specifically to Outlook email clients.

In-depth Analysis of Outlook's Background Color Dilemma

Email marketers and web designers often face significant challenges when creating HTML email templates that are compatible across different email clients. Outlook, in particular, has been a source of frustration due to its unique rendering engine. Unlike most email clients that use web-based rendering engines, Outlook uses the Word rendering engine, which can lead to discrepancies in how HTML and CSS are interpreted, especially concerning background colors and images. This difference means that techniques that work flawlessly in web browsers and other email clients may not work in Outlook, leading to emails that look different than intended. This inconsistency can undermine the effectiveness of email campaigns, as the visual aspect of an email plays a crucial role in engaging recipients and conveying the message.
To address these issues, developers have come up with various workarounds and best practices. One such solution involves using Vector Markup Language (VML) for defining background properties in emails intended for Outlook. VML is a Microsoft-specific XML language that allows for the inclusion of vector graphic definitions directly in HTML emails. By leveraging VML, designers can ensure that their emails display consistently in Outlook, with the intended background colors and images appearing as expected. Additionally, conditional comments are used to target Outlook clients specifically, ensuring that these VML-based styles do not affect the email’s appearance in other clients. Understanding and implementing these techniques is essential for creating engaging and visually consistent emails across all platforms, helping businesses and marketers to maintain a professional image in their email communications.

Fixing Background Color in Outlook Emails

HTML & VML Coding

[if gte mso 9]>     Your email content here...