As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

I had to provide a stool sample via mail. The container they provided me had some red liquid in it, assuming some sort of preservative.
Well my dumb ass was fumbling with trying to handle the stool sample and get the spoon out of the container and I knocked it over. I would say 2/3 of the red liquid spilled out. I want to kick myself. Will the sample be ruined in your experience?
(Crying because it was an expensive test and the last thing I want to do is have to redo lmao). Let me know if I’m in the wrong sub 😭

AuPair now since 2019, started in England and went then over to Ireland 2020. Let’s say I had great experiences, and very shitty ones. I went from getting used & treated like a slave to getting treated like another daughter.
My last HF was horrible- 4 kids, youngest was a baby 6 months old. Other three kids were between 5&8. HP were never home both worked full time, HM always wanted to make sure I stay home. Example I say I need to walk down to the pharmacy to get something, she wants to know what and go and gets it for me even tho it was something I had to pick up in person. Payment was class for the fact that i was supposed to do nothing with the kids, literally “nothing” i was more a cleaner, cause all the time I tried she said it’s not really worth it. Well I went over there more as an emergency change, which almost killed me mentally, since the family I worked before that kicked me out after working with them for 9 months, never had an issue but after they got married the HM changed drastically. Didn’t pay me for three weeks, and didn’t let me close to the kids. I tried talking to her after her honeymoon but she was literally hiding at her husband work so I wouldn’t come and talk to her. Shushed me when I was talking to the kids - kiddos even started crying in front of her for me so much about that. Anyway- I met my boyfriend here almost two years ago so I said my current HF is the last one. Single mother of three. She has crazy work hours told me about that and said that I have mostly Sundays off and that she will make sure I have enough time to see my boyfriend at least once a week. I was fine with that and even agreed on every two weeks, but this women is making my life a living shit show. In the first month everything worked out great, but now every time I have a day off there another work day after and then again a day off which makes visiting my boyfriend very hard if the grandma is not covering work for me. Next thing- She said they are living in a little village, which was also more then fine with me cause I love the peace and quiet, she didn’t mention that if the bus is not coming regularly that I need a lift to get into town- that’s not even what annoys me the most. She mentioned that she has a boyfriend, and that she would love to spend a bit more time with him and i was also more then okey with that and felt very bad for her cause she’s on her own. Little did I know what I was agreeing on. What was once a “can I go see my boyfriend after work and stay over there and you get the kids ready in the morning for school and I be straight home after work the next day-“ turned now into it happening at least 3-4 times a week and she doesn’t even ask me anymore, she just writes it down in the schedule and that’s it. Like I get that you have your own life but seriously I’m not a stepmother. To be fair I only work from 2-8 when she’s home, but if she’s not home, I have so much work. I have the kids during the day, and over night. I get loads of other extra work from her for in the morning, even tho she’s not paying me for that time as I’m not with the kids. Example - two weeks ago she stayed home from work cause she thought the house was very dirty. She send me a list of at least 14 things which she wanted to get done so I offered my help for the “kids related” things. In the end of the day I cleaned from 8:30 in the morning till 5 while she was in the garden painting a little kids house and kiddo chairs, which would have taken at least an hour max two if not less. She’s the most selfish person I ever met and I really start to hate her. She always buys me stuff, to cover up the fact that she is using me. She’s going now in a week on a four day holiday with her boyfriend while I have the kids for those days which include two weekends days, then she goes to work for four days and goes then on a holiday with the kids for a week. I would have loved to book a holiday but she’s underpaying me so bad that I can’t do anything and looking for babysitter jobs is impossible with her schedule and her private life. I’m about to get my own life sorted, and told her about that so I can’t wait for September. Thanks.

I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) For a year, we met when I was 18 and he was 21. My relationship is complicated with him, as we both struggle with our mental illnesses and dealing with school/ work. I’m the only one who to therapy and he used to be but it had gotten expensive for him. Whenever we would have arguments, he was more emotionally charged and more anxious. I am not, I’m more avoidant in conversations because of how he can spaz out sometimes, he’s screamed at me other times because of my tone or aggressiveness (We’re from New York City so it’s a bit of a habit so I get that). And it makes me feel detached a lot of the time because I don’t want to do this with him. I also feel as if he is manipulating me and putting so much onto me in general. We had been on the phone for a while debating about something someone said, a known psychologist . I forgot what his thought was but, I remembered that psychologist from somewhere on social media and I remembered he had some views that I felt were misogynistic and I had said that I thought the guy was a POS out loud. My boyfriend was not too keen on that and said like you don’t have to say it like that, I’m giving him anxiety about me taking about another man’s conservative views and character. To be honest, I genuinely don’t even know why he was upset about it but it’s nothing to me to apologize because I can get excited or have an aggressive tone, it does nothing for me not to apologize.
Next day, I had upset him about saying something he did not want to hear and I was like trying to tell him later on I didn’t mean to offend him, and he groans loudly and tells me he didn’t want to talk about it. (He said he didn’t want ven care about what I said.) I felt some type of way about it because why couldn’t you just say that you did not care in the first place instead of having a mannerism that would suggest otherwise?
In the morning, he was going to work and I had brought it up to him how I felt. I had no attitude, I did not have a reason to pick a bone with him or argue and he just begins to start panicking and crying, saying that I was selfish and I should have never brought it up in the morning (which, that his boundary I did cross that but I thought it was acceptable because he had done the same thing before when he spoke to me about his anxiety and I had to sleep but he wanted to clear it.)
He goes to work and he’s just having a breakdown and I was on the phone with him, I genuinely don’t even know what to do when he’s just breaking down the way he is because I don’t know why he is crying like this in the first place. It sounds horrible. He tried to quit his job because of the stress of it all (me included) and it’s been bad ever since. Yesterday, he screamed at me on the phone because I was telling him how I feel in general about this and how I cannot always be there for him (like drop everything). I just feel so invalidated in how I feel (I’ve always acknowledged how he feels in general whilst saying what i think too. I’ll say ‘I understand how you feel (lengthy part to empathize) and i also feel like (my part.)’ and now his family hates me because I’m making him feel this way and he’s screaming. I’ve tried to go on a break with him before but he always persuades me to not ‘break’ up with him. He kept throwing jabs saying, “No one loves me… You don’t even care. You don’t feel bad, I feel betrayed by you.” I don’t know what to do, my therapist is gone for the week and I always look up to here and ask her if I had been wrong about anything I’ve done in my relationship, she says no but sometimes I feel like I need others words of wisdom, especially since I am younger and he is my first boyfriend. Even today, I had called him after and he had texted me something almost at 12 and I just said I saw your text but I didn’t know if I should respond to it. And he got angry at me, saying I keep disrespecting that boundary and last night should not be in my mouth. I tried to apologize but he said to leave him alone for the rest of the day. Am I wrong for being the way that I had been?
tl;dr: I wasn’t there for my boyfriend’s panic attack because of previous experiences with him and he resents me for it and he keeps screaming at me. i don’t know how we can move on.

"The Mandela effect refers to a situation in which a large mass of people believes that an event occurred when it did not. The term was originated in 2009 by Fiona Broome, after she discovered that she, along with a number of others, believed that Nelson Mandela had died in the 1980s (when he actually died in 2013)."
This is main example given and it's namesake which is not a good example. Rather, it's actually just plain old ignorance. How can anyone living through the 80s 90s and 00s not know who Nelson Mandela was, his incarceration and release. There was even a popular song about it, that in some part played a role in his release (public opinion). If you think he died in prison, you are ignorant (lacking knowledge or awareness).
Let's look at more examples:
Dolly in Moonraker. Many will claim that they remember Dolly having braces and others will claim this is The Mandela Effect. It's far more likely, as some argue that there was more than one release and some people remember seeing braces and others remember not seeing braces. The original release tapes no longer exist, and photoshop being a thing, we will never know.
Henry the Eighth eating a turkey leg. Google it. There are a bunch of pictures of HTE or other historic figures eating a turkey leg. This is just a case of mistaken identity. I doubt a "large mass of people" are even familiar with the painting in question.
"Luke, I am your father" - this is just bad memory recall. I doubt "a large mass of people" are willing to stake that the phrase was "Luke......", but if you are quoting Star Wars, it help's with some context if you start by saying "Luke" because nobody will know what you are talking about if you just go around saying "i am your father"
"Mirror, Mirror on the wall" - same as Moonraker, there are plenty of versions with "mirror, mirror", it all just depends on what form of media you were exposed to.
Mickey Mouse and the suspenders. This is a close one and possibly the fly in my ointment as I have a mental image of MM wearing suspenders. But he did wear them on occasion. The only thought I have is this. How many people have actually watched Steamboat Willy? I know it, and would instantly recognise it, but I haven't actually watched it. Doesn't he bob up and down, kinda funny. I can see how one might think he was wearing them, and if this is the case, then I guess I have proved myself wrong.
I am posting this as a keep seeing ME posts today.

ok, I know the message isn't very clear so let me explain: years ago, I started a campaign with my best friend. He and I as DMs had initially used monster of the week but moved to not the end as the system was freer. the "plot" began with the playbook of the "divine", that is, this demigod who was part of this secret organization that went to solve cases. Very standard thing. Then after the end of the first season, we changed the system to not the end and from there the power level clearly went through the roof. For about two seasons we got along well, but as we continued to put homebrew stuff in the end the system collapsed and we were just throwing out tokens. In the end I no longer had any ideas for how to balance battles, upgrades, history... in short, everything.
I ended up closing the campaign. But the regret remained, after all, there were two seasons left. and we were in the middle of the second to last.
recently, I promised him I would finish it, mostly to give a fitting conclusion to an ignorant, funny story that he managed to keep me entertained during a bad time in my life.
Not wanting to repeat the same mistakes, I need a system:
-narrative
-that can bring the level of power to a divine level
-which allows you to create moves/equipment/etc
-that is also manageable by the master to create battles and clashes without having to lose your mind.

This is gonna be another rant, also sorry about the other one i am actually contemplating deleting it.
Anyway, my Instagram algorithm has been pissing me off lately with some dashes of homeschooling moms (Not gonna express my opinions on them) and girls who are somewhat very selective about their boyfriends. But, one of the niche topics it shows me is annoying.
The niche topic is autism and people saying that normal things means you are autistic or you have ADHD. Some even said that fidgeting, in the form of clicking your pen repetitively, could be a sign of either ADHD or Autism or both of these disorders. IIRC, clicking your pen is a normal thing to do. Someone in the comments section has made fun of it.
People are also ranting about certain NTs, and the comments are saying every single NT is like this. I can deny that since NTs can be trying and are good, but yes i can agree that some of them are bad as they say. It just seems they are condescending and just acting like they're superior in some way, shape or form to NTs.
It is FINE to not have autism or any other neurodivergency, it is perfectly fine to just be a normal human being. There are other ways to attract attention or clout on the internet. I would even say it's very good to not have anything mentally/physically wrong with you, i would even go as far as to say that it's a privilege to be mentally/physically fine.
Maybe it's my algorithm and i should fix it or stay off Instagram until it gets fixed.
Thanks for listening to my TedTalk.
​
​

My(28m) new gf(23f) have been dating for just over a month now. She often posts Snapchat stories of selfies and the pictures are very rarely provocative at all and are just cute mirror selfies or pictures of herself on the beach. We usually lay down in bed together at night and throw on a movie and she likes to occasionally scroll through her phone. I happen to glance over at times just out of curiosity and noticed some of the responses she gets to her pictures. Some examples are dudes saying "hot", "sexy" or "you could get it". She claims she never responds to them and I believe her, but it sort of bothers me that she doesn't do anything about it neither. I asked her why she even bothers keeping those people on her Snapchat, and why not respond to them saying you have a boyfriend or anything to deter them from saying weird shit. She says she doesn't like deleting them because some of them are her friends, which alright I get it but why are your friends being creepy like that? And coming back to the point where I ask her to tell them she has a man, she says she doesn't like telling random people about her life. I got a little bit upset and maybe overreacted a bit. Im a bit of an over thinker and I get in my head and my minds trying to convince me that maybe she enjoys the compliments? I tell her everyday how gorgeous she is and how lucky I am to have met her, but I understand it can be different coming from just one person. We had a shitty argument about it and I wasn't sure if I was asking for too much.

I think if your face Is good you can actually manage getting a GF, but the problem Is She would not be satisfied if you're shorter than their Friends boyfriends.
My ex GF sister was in LTR with a Chad Who was an entrepreneur and 6'2" too, while I'm a 5'8" garbage man. Well, I took her virginity but Guess what? I was Just a placeholder and She was literally irritated everytime we went out, She was insufferable at everything I did or Say... She would not believe at everything I said and She would bossy me around with ' Who said that?'.
While She was submissive to tall men at her Jobs or lovable Thats because respect Is related to her looking at you as someone Bettemore masculine.
The same things happened tò One of my friend Who Is High competent and able but he's seen and treated like a baby by her GF. Thats because hes 5'6".

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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“Your house is huge,” I say as I enter, glancing at the chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. “And you live here alone?”
“You get used to it,” my boyfriend smiles as he introduces me to the luxurious living room. “Make yourself at home.”
He jumps on the white leather couch and grabs a bottle of champagne from an ice bucket, pouring it in two crystal glasses. He hands me one and we drink it in one go.
“You’ve prepared everything,” I giggle. “I feel like this is gonna be a looong night.”
He pushes a few buttons on a remote control and the curtains glide open, revealing a dark garden. Lights flash on, illuminating the pool as well as various trees from below. A romantic song emanates from the ceiling speakers, gradually intensifying.
“Amazing,” I gasp.
“The pool’s heated, so we can take a dip without worrying about the snow.”
“Maybe later,” I say, afraid to tell him I never learned to swim.
We cuddle and chat for the next half hour when nature calls. He shows me to one of the bathrooms and returns to the living room.
I look around, appreciating the heated seat, the marble tiles and the golden toilet paper holder. When I try to snatch the paper, I notice something strange. It’s been placed backwards, the paper hanging from the back. I pull it out and put it in the right way so that the paper faces me.
When I’m done I wash my hands and open the door. I thought the music had become louder, but it’s only when I return to the living room that the blasting sound make me almost cover my ears. The curtains are shut close and my boyfriend is nowhere to see.
“What took you so long?”
I jump as he appears behind me.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine,” I say, holding my chest, heart pounding. “Could you lower the volume a bit? It’s really loud.”
“Answer my question first,” he smiles.
“Erm, I was just looking around when I noticed your toilet roll was placed backwards, so I put it the right way in. I mean, who does that?” I giggle. “You must be either a cat owner or total psycho.”
He stiffens and stares right at me.
“Guess which one I am?”
“A total psycho?” I laugh but stop immediately when his expression hardens.
He inches towards me and carries his lips near my ear. He lowers his voice to a hiss and murmurs, “Right on the jackpot, baby.”
A cutter knife appears out of nowhere. With one hand he grabs my neck, slowly extending the blade in front of my eyes with the other.
“Stop!” I cry. “T-that’s not funny.”
“Neither is altering my stuff.”
The corner of his lip curls upwards, puckering a kiss in the air.
“I think you’re right, baby; I also feel like this is gonna be a looong night.”

My partner (25m) and I (23f) have been talking about polyamory since we got together three years ago,
We knew we wanted to be together, my partner was willing to be monogamous with me while I figured out my mental health because it was something I wanted to be able to handle, I’ve always been curious and never gotten to practice it. Over the course of our relationship- we live together and have a child now. (1year)
My partner in the past year has become very encouraging of me trying to see other females, saying he is willing to not have other partners because he really wants me to experience the beauty of polyamory and be able to work through my feelings at a pace that helps me feel secure, I’ve read polysecure and ethical slut, both of which I enjoyed and found very profound and helpful for thought experiments and mindset.
Now, I have been seeing a nb person for a few months, but they live an hour away. I have known this person and crushed on them for years, and they just broke up with their boyfriend- but they still live together. we have gone out a few times, and they come over for sleepovers (where only them and I share a bed) but have largely remained non-sexual.
At the start of the sleepovers they expressed that they would be willing to have a threesome with me and my original partner. I was not interested in this, I wanted this to be my thing at least at first.
Since then, they still come over but doesn’t feel as into me. They used to text me daily- but it’s slowly gotten to be less and less. My partner assured me that they still like me- they are just not into texting. But I feel obsessive about receiving texts or not from them.
What is your advice when you start feeling really insecure about your place with new(er) partners? They are autistic- and seem to remember everything they or anyone else has ever said. But I struggle with emotional permanence and need reassurance, but I feel like asking for it in this way makes me look insecure, and I don’t want to push them away and lose this opportunity because of my anxiety.

You ever see one of those pictures,
Where a person is wrapped around
themselves like boa constrictors?
Screaming silently to the world,
with their devestated scriptures?
Hands up,
around their face,
Eyes wide like they just got sprayed down with mace.
Twisted
And contorted,
The very space around them distorted.
Like their very mind
Has been extorted.
Broken nails, crazy hair and shit?
Naw, it couldn't be me with the broken jaw, losing myself in a fit.
The echoes catch up and they scream,
Heaven knows if things are really as they seem.
I couldn't.
I wouldn't.
I shouldn't.
Shush now,
don't tell me what I can't resent.
A life I can't afford,
Strife by your accord.
Full stop.
Pull cord, steep drop.
Do I call the medic
Or the cop?
Is it me
Or the mannequin
being used as the prop?
Shot gun,
Make rot run,
Common n' show me what you got,
Hun.
Inhale,
Exhale,
Don't let them see you fail.
Erase your trail.
Stay calm,
Ignore the banshee's wail,
She can't find you
In the sleet and the hail.
Hood to mask my face,
Hunted down,
But they insist this isn't a race.
Being followed into the alley,
Quick, hop the fence without dally.
I should have left you a note,
Just to tell you what this was all about.
The hollow man,
Who just wants heaven's call,
Oh, to live again.
Eyes twitching in the dusk,
How can I be weighed down and still be such a hollow husk?
The ferry man waits for no one,
And I'm running to him like I am fleeing from the gun.
Funny how it is all the same,
Sunny day, embrace the cold barrel,
And that is the end of this game.
Just a sad sap,
Driven mad by a nonexistant gap.
I can't help that I always resurrect,
Like some tattered, but unflappable, insect.
I can't count the amount of times I've been crushed under your boot,
The number of rhymes I've written covered in the soot.
Of a burnt out flame,
Turned out by another who needed me to take the blame.
Just write it down, they say,
What swill, believing the pen and the pad is the way.
They don't care about your emotional release,
Like hens, they are just going to cluck without cease.
Fuck a triple entendre,
Tried it before, and still got stuck with nadda,
Pried myself away from the god ah the underworld,
But, I gotta say, my blood curled, when I learned,
It's true what they say, the devil wears prada.
She took my will to write, like it wasn't a bodda.
But they still poke and prod a dead body,
theynod at each other, with lecherous eyes that are so gawdy.
Like,
Fuck it,
He's dead.
Find the last of his coin,
Pluck it,
And then fill his boots with lead.
Into the ocean of lost souls,
Built up our shoals, ignoring the costs and the tolls.
I'm sinkin',
I'm drownin',
These pricks don't got an inkling
About why I'm frownin'
I could switch hit a beat,
Without a hitch,
Have you on your feet.
And I'd still just be the guy who doesn't offer sunshine,
The scum fuck
Who wasn't smart enough not to cross the line.
Too gruff,
Too willing to call a bluff,
Life's tough,
And I've had enough.
You're killing me with this stuff,
Woke up in the dark waters,
My wrists in a cuff.
So,
Before you can fill my lungs with water and bile,
I'm fleeing this sinking city and I won't stop for a country mile.
Into a land,
Not so vile,
Where every conversation isn't a trial.
Where my blackened wings can shed,
All of these gruesome memories in my head.
It's true,
Some of us can handle the rain,
But, I won't be back again.
I found heaven in the drain,
I gave in,
And started caring about my own gain.
The human experience,
Should not be seen through an agonized wince.
Fuck you and your hounds,
And your porcelain, merry, bounds.
The walls you constructed,
The halls through which you obstructed.
Some day,
Your judgement will come,
Smooth as the sweetest rum,
To the sound of the eternal drum.
Until than,
I won't return to this city of men.

Hiya!
I’m a veteran tank looking for a raiding guild after a hiatus. I’ve been playing since MoP, and have raiding heroically and mythically as a DPS, Healer, and most recently as a tank. I’m open to any servefaction but
I’m primarily located on Illidan. I’ve got a Guardian Druid, Demon Hunter, or a Blood DK. My Guardian is probably the most geared, but if you’re willing to help get me up to speed, I can get the others up and running quickly. If you want a healer, I’ll definitely play one, but will need a little extra helping getting one up to speed.
I’m looking for tight knit raiding guild that needs a tank. Read on for some cool pros of mine you’ll get if you recruit me!
Pros:
I’m a great listener, which is like, every raid leaders dream.
I do my homework prior to raiding. I like winging it as a general concept, but not when it comes to raiding. I am every raid leaders dream, truly.
I have a vast knowledge of random things. Want shark facts? I’ve got you. Want to know why a specific thing happened on a random Tuesday 2 states over? I probably know that too.
I’m helpful. I love running keys, and being apart of a tight knit group who wants to actively run content.
So if you’re looking for a tank/healer to fill a spot on your team, and want someone who’s kind of funny, a veteran raider, and gets along great with others, send me a message and we can chat to see if I’d be a good fit!

I was waiting in line at a defac and a PV2 walked up to me and said “your a dirty nasty leg” i was pretty confused and assumed he thought i was someone he knew until i remembered being told that what they call people that dont bounce off the ground with a bedsheet parachute. There where other airborne around and they kinda gave him a weird look. Funny enough he asked me for a ride afterwards to the reception barracks. Realizing he was a private fresh out of AIT/Airborne school i felt bad for him so i did drive him back, he asked me about post and where to go and stuff but the entire time he referred to me as a “leg” i get it, its a airborne thing but i have a hard time believing people unironically call others that besides dumb privates.

I [16F] was talking to one of my best friends [16F] and she was asking me what the “girl codes” are for when girls who has their girl best friend get a boyfriend to make sure the gf doesn’t get jealous of what they are doing. It ended up where she sent me a video of a girl saying that there are 5 things that only a true girls girl would understand, they were; 1-if you’re best friend has a crush on them do not follow them on social media without her permission/she asks you to, 2- always hate who they chose because they deserve so much better 3- never message them privately unless it’s birthday or proposal even if she said it’s okay to 4- never borrowing her bf’s hoodie 5- never let her bf drive you home if she isn’t there.
The part I’m confused by is that we all were friends starting 9th grade (year 10 for UK’ers I think?) and we have been a close knit group, she said that she thought it was a tad exaggerating but she agreed with some points, I not supposed to talk to him now with this information? We have been the type of friends who send random instagram messages back and forth and my entire group before went through a swapping hoodies obsession so this feels late to mention in my eyes. Also both her and her bf were friends with me before they got together. I would like a yes or no if I’m being to nieve to see this video and it’s messages as a bad thought proces or not as I am still young and need to look at my own priories of boundaries. I sent her a message that went as follows; I think I get it? But I’m a bit concerned on what parts you do or don’t agree with because all of them are exaggerating in my eyes but if those are what you stand by morally as long as you understand this isn’t an “everyone can understand immediately and has the same perspective” then I support your opinion, you should also talk to -bf’s name- about this if this is actually your thoughts because I don’t think he sees the way you see it. Good morning.
I’m not sure if I did the right thing and if I should address this further, please let me know if I should or not, I am happy to answer questions in the comments if people want more details, I don’t know what I should be putting in here.
TLDR: Video my best friend sent me is, in my opinion illogical for our group, and I would like people’s decision who are older on if I should ask her more about it or just let her be.

Episode Description

Simba leaves Kiara in charge of the Pride Lands while he, Nala, and Zazu go to Kilio Valley to attend a funeral for an old elephant friend named Amanifu who has just died. Upon learning this from Mzingo, Janja decides to take advantage of Kiara's inexperience and comes up with a plan to take over the Pride Lands. Meanwhile, Simba is nervous about performing his eulogy in front of the elephants, including Aminifu's daughter, Ma Tembo.
Song: "Duties of the King" sung by Simba and Zazu

Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-However, I do like the fact this episode shows that Kiara and Kion are not perfect leaders yet, they're still fairly young and are only just finding their feet, so it's natural for them to have some minor slip ups, that they learn from, like every kid does.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.5/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love in the fandom and I think there are way worse episodes than it.

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I don't mean to be beating a dead horse with this topic but I haven't seen this point explicitly mentioned yet. So many "it's a comedy podcast" posts and made me want to mention this.
It isn't Taylors beliefs that bother me or disrupt the podcast, it is that the fact that comedy stops at his beliefs. He isn't like Bill Burr or someone who can joke about both sides of a hot issue on an actual comedy podcast.
A couple recent examples; selling your soul discussion and abortion discussion. Both times I remember Kyle and Woody continuing the discussion by stating their beliefs but still keeping it somewhat funny.
The selling your soul discussion was so bad because Kyle and Woody were laughing and having a good time and Taylor was acting like he was in front of a priest that he didn't want to disappoint. Saying things like "hell no", there wasn't a lot (if any) jokes coming from him. He acted like Kyle when Woody defended wings and said to Kyle "maybe they should send things to your house" lol.
In the abortion/pro-life discussion, Woody downright joked that abortions were "fun"; I suppose some may find that funny or not but what definitely isn't funny or comedic is to just act uncomfortable and say "no it's not" awkwardly. Woody's bit was an attempt at humor (maybe a failed one) and Taylor's response was just serious, not comedic.
Maybe people will say there are things you just shouldn't joke about. I definitely don't agree, it used to be RSK country out here.
Also the whole 16 year old marriage discussion wasn't funny either. It had a serious, not so comedic, tone about it. Later in that PKN Taylor tried to pivot topics stating literally "we have been talking about more serious stuff for the majority of the podcast".
To those that say it is a comedy podcast, it obviously isn't entirely a comedic podcast anymore. I'd say 50% comedy, 30% media reviews, 20% politics. If it was a comedy podcast you would definitely be able to joke against others beliefs while having a joke at the expense of your own (something that ironically Woody, perhaps the least witty or funny of them all, does very well).
All in all I generally love the podcast, wish Taylor didn't act like a he was in church when a ridiculous and completely hypothetical topic like selling your souls to a demon or having a "demon" as a guest comes up.

I am 34 years old . Back story my child grew up in a family where me the mother has full custody of child and his dad has just visitations. I lived with my mom and stepdad because moving out didn't seem logical with my work schedule and my mom pushed to keep us there anyways. She did not want me moving in fact every time I got serious in a relationship she always pushed for my partner to move into her house also. Well My son is 7 now I met a great guy and he has a son in the next state over. We are a year into my relationship and my mother has done everything to ruin my relationship with him. Has sent me letters in the mail saying she's a past friend of his ex girlfriend and to get out of the relationship she has brainwashed my kid to state that his son is spoiled rotten and that my boyfriend is an "asshole" At this point my mom and I are not close whatsoever but my bf has decided that it is best that we just stay friends because my mother and my son have now made his life a living hell and he can't live with this anxiety anymore. We still talk daily on a friend level but my plan was to get a place in his state. I am close with his family and they have taken over the role of what family really means to me. Sadly my child is still going to school in the town my mother lives in till June. I am still in love with this guy and his son and I don't want to lose either one of them but my priority is my son. Hes had difficulty in school since Kindergarten he lashes out and has some anger management. I am on a waitlist for him to be seen by a therapist out in a town closer to where my plan is to live. Do I still move to the next state over and try to better my life and my Childs or do I just move on and keep dealing with the anxiety of being here with my mother. I tell her no and she does the opposite - he wants a cookie okay you can have a cookie I say no mind you my son is 7 and 130 lbs. She will go out of her way to give him the cookie he wants. Whether it's the next day when im not there or she whispers for him to go into the next room for him to get it. I don't have any control over my life or my sons life I feel like im fighting against life at this point. Please I would like to hear your input on both the relationship portion and the moving.

I sent a parcel from UK to Argentina to my friend. It left the UK on April 17th and just says "Item Leaving the UK" as per others. I know it's only a couple of weeks, unlike some of your waits, but reading these concern me. Royal Mail are useless and cannot provide any info and I have written to customs in Buenos Aires who were really quick and helpful but said that nothing has entered Argentina. I sent a parcel to this person earlier in the month and it only took 5 days from "Leaving the UK" to being in Argentina customs (took another 2 1/2 weeks from then). But this one is stuck and I sent another out last week, which is now "Leaving UK" since 4th May too....just wondering if they can be held up in the HWDC possibly waiting for enough items to go to Argentina? The missing one is 2 necklaces too. Worth about £100 each, and allowed in Argentina customs for import. My other worry is that I had to do the CN22 online for it and I cannot recall if the post office printed anything out when I gave them the code - which I only realised on the latest one (posted at different post office) where they printed the CN22 customs label out....so wondering if the post office staff have screwed it up! I even called UK customs to see if they could tell me if anything stuck in Langley and he just gave me the royal mail customer service number I had just tried with no help - the 4th May parcel was sent correctly and CN22 label printed and stuck on -
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just wondering could this just be a delay and backlock in Buenos Aires processing things into customs there?