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A subreddit dedicated to all that are rather fond of those poor fellows stuck on Craggy Island.
2011.08.15 22:25 A subreddit dedicated to all that are rather fond of those poor fellows stuck on Craggy Island.
A subreddit dedicated to all that are rather fond of those poor fellows stuck on Craggy Island.
2024.05.12 23:23 skeptical_phoenix EBAY COUNTERFEIT ALERT: lady_80s currently selling counterfeit Trap and tan Inky (that reek of cigarette smoke) and making fake True Blue Beans COAs
 | Good afternoon, y'all. A bit of a wild ride to follow, but the bottom line is - do NOT buy either of these Beanies listed on eBay by the user lady_80s submitted by skeptical_phoenix to beaniebabies [link] [comments] Please report both of these listings on eBay by selecting "Report this item", then "Copyright and trademark", then "Counterfeit item or authenticity disclaimer", then "counterfeit, fake, or replica items" Counterfeit Trap listing: https://www.ebay.com/itm/235561168939?itmmeta=01HXQ91WR5EYS9E5DH4JCQ6DYA&hash=item36d88a302b:g:pcoAAOSw7hJmQP1H Counterfeit Inky listing: https://www.ebay.com/itm/235409792590?itmmeta=01HXQ91WR5HFVCRJSAWE6FGEJA&hash=item36cf845e4e:g:HRgAAOSwgJ5luUCa So, a few days ago, I saw the original Trap listing in which the seller was selling the Trap authenticated by "Pbbags.com" - an authentication service that shut down over a decade ago. Here is that original eBay listing: https://www.ebay.com/itm/235539104928 The Trap looked authentic, but the whiskers were very long and I couldn't see the top of the tush tag because it was curled over (the tush tag is what shows you for certain whether an older generation Beanie is counterfeit). Because of these things, I offered the seller $90 instead of the $125 she was asking. She said she understood my concerns and that $100 was the best she could do. I told her the only authentication company I fully trust is True Blue Beans. 12 minutes after that message, she replied and stated: "Because he was authenticated so long ago and because that service has been questioned I did have him authenticated by TBB and have a coa. I have delt with Becky and the staff for many years. She didn’t charge me for authentication because I asked her not to rebox him if all was legit. I will include the coa along with him. The certificate number is the same on the coa as the number on the one on the box." With that, she sent me a picture of this "True Blue Beans COA" (which I later found out was fraudulent): Fraudulent True Blue Beans Certificate of Authenticity Unfortunately, I just took her word that this was a legit certificate of authenticity from True Blue Beans when I should have realized this is not something TBB would ever do. Anyway, I purchased the Trap and it arrived a few days later. Immediately upon opening the package it reeked BADLY of cigarette smoke. I then opened the case the Trap was in to examine the tush tag since it was still curled up in the case. Lo and behold, the tush tag revealed that the Trap is counterfeit. Also, comparing the Beanie itself to an authentic Trap I already own, it's clear the color of the fabric is wrong (it's a warm gray instead of a cool gray) and the string of the whiskers is a completely different kind of string than on the authentic Trap. Other than that, it was a VERY good counterfeit. If you look closely, you can see the differences between the counterfeit Trap and the authentic Trap in these photos. The authentic trap is on the right, and the counterfeit is on the left. The authentic tush tag is the one that has a period and a comma after TY INC and the counterfeit tush tag as two periods after TY INC Counterfeit on left, Authentic on right Authentic Trap tush tag. Note the period and comma after INC and the A in \"CHINA\" extending past the D in \"RESERVED Counterfeit Trap tush tag. Note the two periods after \"INC\", the D in \"RESERVED\" extending way past the A in \"CHINA\", the lack of a base line on the 1 in \"1993\", and other differences After examining the Beanie itself, I moved on to examining the "True Blue Beans COA" the seller included in the box. It was DIFFERENT than the one she showed me in the image above. Paper certificate sent to me in the box with the counterfeit Trap (note it doesn't even match the one she sent me as a digital photo) The paper certificate was a blurry page that was printed from someone's home computer on cheap paper and almost the size of a full sheet of paper. In person, it was clear that the seller used a program like Microsoft Paint to cover up whatever was originally on the certificate she based this fake one one. Look closely at the certificate and you will see many issues. First and foremost, the date on the certificate says "8/21/24" ... which, if you haven't noticed, is over three months from now... so it's impossible to have been authenticated on that date. Furthermore, the style number she has on the certificate is not Trap's style number. It is the style number for orange Digger the crab. Further still, the certificate number is just the number that was present on the other COA from the other authentication company. True Blue Beans would never use another company's authentication number on their certificates. Needless to say, after I figured all of this out I was livid. I contacted the seller for a refund, and she played nice, stating: "I apologize for the inconsistencies of the Trap coa. I never even noticed the date error. By all means, please start a return so you can be refunded. As far as the Inky, I’ve never had it authenticated so it can very well be counterfeit. Thanks for letting me know. Again, I’m very sorry." After I opened the return, she changed her mind and messaged: "Then again, you shouldn’t have opened the box. That ruined the authenticity. I could’ve had the coa issue taken care of. Now I would have to pay for it to be authenticated. I will contact eBay." After I told her I would contact True Blue Beans myself to see if the certificate of authenticity is legit, she approved the return without saying anything else. I sent the item back to her, but when she received it back she contested my return with eBay because I had taken the Beanie out of the original case (which I had to to find out it was counterfeit). Unfortunately, eBay contacted me today saying out of "courtesy" they are refunding me my money but that in the future I have to return items in the condition they were sent. Even worse, they let her keep the item AND the money I paid... and she immediately listed it for sale again... meaning she will get over $200 for this fake in total if someone else buys it from her new listing. I've reported her listings to eBay for being counterfeits, but eBay has told me they've "found nothing wrong". Maybe if enough people report these listings they will wake up and take them down. Bottom line: DO NOT buy from this seller and DO NOT trust any authentication company other than True Blue Beans! |
2024.05.10 20:04 Vukobasa An observer in the Near East: MONTENEGRO (1907)
 | ΜΟΝΤΕΝEGRO submitted by Vukobasa to Crnogorstvo [link] [comments] CHAPTER I THE CITY IN THE SKY Why I went to the Balkans―The road to Montenegro―Cettinje and its petroleum tins―About the blood-feud―England and Montenegro―Warned not to attempt to go to Albania―My guide a marked man-The story of Tef―A woman's fickleness, and its sequel. CHAPTER II AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS The Palace at Cettinje―A cigarette with the Prince―The policy of Montenegro―A confidential chat―His Royal Highness's admiration for England―His views upon Macedonia―He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania. but I persuade him to help me―His Highness's kindness―Souvenirs. ** CHAPTER I THE CITY IN THE SKY Why I went to the Balkans— The road to Montenegro — Cettinje and its petroleum tins — About the blood-feud — England and Montenegro — Warned not to attempt to go to Albania — My guide a marked man — The story of Tef — A woman's fickleness, and its sequel. I ENTERED the Balkans by the back door. The luxuries of the Orient Express had no attraction for me. I wanted to see the Balkans as they really are, those great, wild, mountainous countries, so full of race hatreds, of political bickerings, of fierce blood-feuds, of feverish propa- gandas those nations with their interesting monarchs and their many mysteries. The "Orient" runs direct from Paris to the Balkan capitals, it is true, but if one goes to study a people the capital is not the only place in which to discover the truth. One must go into the country, move among the peasantry, hear their grievances and investigate their wrongs. Therefore I decided to enter the East by Montenegro, and also visit the wild and little-known regions of Northern Albania. The comfortable voyage by the Austrian-Lloyd mail steamer Graf Wurmbrand from Trieste down the Adriatic, touching at Pola, the Austrian naval station, Lussinpiccolo, Zara- famed for its maraschino-Sebenico, Spalato, and Gravosa to Cattaro, has been already described by many writers. Suffice it to say that it is perhaps one of the most picturesque of pleasure-trips in the world, for every moment one has a fresh panorama of mountain and blue sea, of green, fertile islands with subtropical vegetation, and tiny white villages nestling at the sea's edge, as the steamer threads her way through the narrow and often difficult channels. At times the wild scenery, especially in the Bocche di Cattaro, reminds the traveller of the Norwegian fiords, and at others the coast is an almost exact reproduction of the French Riviera. The object of my journey was, however, not in order to write a mere description of men and places. There have been other travellers in the Balkans who have related their story, therefore my mission was to make careful inquiry into the present unsettled state of affairs, try and discover the grievances of both sides, and endeavour to obtain from the rulers and statesmen of the various nations their aspirations for the future. This I succeeded in doing, for the various monarchs of the Balkans graciously gave me audience; and from their Ministers, from the middle classes, and from the peasants, I was enabled at last to form some conclusion as to the real situation-political, economical, social, and financial. The writer who attempts to place the various Balkan questions impartially and clearly before the public will at once find himself utterly confused, and wallowing wildly in a morass of misstatement and misrepresentation. The Balkans are torn by race hatreds, party strife, and the intrigues of the Powers. The Turk hates the Bulgar, the Serb hates the Austrian, the Roumanian hates the Greek, the Albanian hates the Montenegrin, the Bosnian hates the Turk, while the Macedonian hates everybody all round. What is told to one authoritatively one hour, is flatly contradicted the next; therefore it is not in the least surprising that in the European Press there have been so many misstatements about the various Balkan questions, the real truth being so very difficult to obtain. I have, however, endeavoured to obtain it, and at risk of being injudicious, to place before the reader the facts as they are, without any political bias, or any seeking to gloss over the many glaring defects of administration of which I have myself been witness. To describe the beauties of the Bocche di Cattaro, that series of winding channels where the high grey mountains rise sheer from the water, would be only to traverse old ground. Suffice it to say that I landed at Cattaro on a bright, sunny noon, and found upon the quay a tall, lean mountaineer who had been sent to meet me. To the traveller fresh from the West the Montenegrin costume of both women and men is very attractive, but a few days in the Balkans soon accustoms the eye to a perfect phantasmagoria of colour and of costume. Pero was my driver's name, and I noticed that around his waist was a revolver belt, but minus the weapon. I inquired where it was, and with a grin he informed me that Cattaro, being in Dalmatia, the Austrians would not allow Montenegrins to bring arms into their country; so they were compelled to leave them on the other side of the frontier, ten kilometres distant. My bags packed upon the three-horse travelling carriage and secured with many strings, and Pero equipped with a plentiful stock of cigarettes, he mounted upon the box, whipped up his long-tailed ponies, and we started on our eight-hour ascent of that great wall of mountain that hides Montenegro from the sea. As we ascended through the little village of Skaljari we entered upon a magnificent road, said to be one of the greatest engineering feats of modern times, and steadily ascended, until at the striped black-and-yellow Austrian boundary post we crossed the frontier, and were in the "Land of the Black Mountain"-Montenegro. Across the road, at an acute angle, a row of paving-stones marks the frontier, and soon after- wards we found ourselves in the wildest and most desolate mountain region. At a lonely roadside hut Pero obtained his big, serviceable-looking revolver, and I, of course, wore mine in my belt; for in Montenegro or Albania arms make the man. A man unarmed is looked upon as an effeminate coward. Indeed, by order of Prince Nicholas every Monte- negrin must wear the national dress, both men and women, and every man must carry his revolver when out of doors. Four hours from Cattaro we were in a lonely mountain fastness, a wild, desolate, treeless region of huge limestone rocks of peculiar volcanic formation, which gave them the appearance of a boiling sea. The views over the Adriatic as we turned back were so superb that, despite photographing being strictly forbidden on account of the fortresses in the vicinity, I could not resist the temptation to take one or two surreptitiously. On, through a bleak, uninhabited country, we at last reached the guard-house of Kerstac, and then half an hour later found ourselves upon a plateau where, in the centre, stood the small clean village of Nyegush, the ancestral home of the reigning family, and the scene of most of the Montenegrin wars of independence. Here we halted for half an hour at the post-house, and before we left, the big, lumbering post-diligence, with its armed guard, came up behind us. Before we moved off again it had grown dark, the moon shone, and for four hours longer we alternately climbed and descended through that wild region of silence and desolation, until at last we saw, deep below, the lights of Cettinje, the little capital, and an hour later brought us to the unpre- tending "Grand" Hotel. Hardly had I entered my room when there came a loud knock at my door, and a tall, scarlet-coated Montenegrin warrior, armed to the teeth, entered and saluted. For a moment I looked up at him aghast, but the mystery was solved when, next second, he handed me with great ceremony a telegram from a dear friend in England wishing me God- speed. I had taken him to be, at least, one of the Prince's bodyguard, and he was only a plain telegraph messenger! This was but one of many surprises in store for me in Montenegro. Next morning I went out to look round the clean little capital, when, on passing the Prince's palace, I saw a number of soldiers drawn up, and as I went by, the band suddenly struck up the British National Anthem! I raised my hat, halted, and stood puzzled. Surely they were not honouring me! Another moment, however, and I recognised the reason. In a carriage, accompanied by the Grand Marechal of the Court, there drove up my friend Mr. Charles des Graz, the newly-appointed British Chargé d'Affaires to Montenegro, who was about to present his creden- tials to His Royal Highness the Prince. Montenegro is perhaps the most interesting country in all the Balkans. Cettinje, a small, clean town of broad streets and one-storeyed, whitewashed houses, is a little city in the sky, lying as it does in a cup-shaped depression at the summit of a high, bare mountain. Its long, straight, main street reminds one very much of a small country town in England, if it were not that everyone is, by law, compelled to wear the national dress, and every man has in his belt his big, long- barrelled revolver, without which he must never go out of doors. The men, sturdy mountaineers, are of fine physique- handsome fellows, all of them. Their dress consists of dark blue baggy trousers, white woollen gaiters, raw-hide shoes, a scarlet jacket heavily braided with gold, and a small round cap, with black silk around the edge and the crown of the same colour as the jacket, bearing the Prince's initials in Servian letters, "H.I." The women, who are particularly good-looking, wear dark skirts, beautifully hand-embroidered blouses, and a kind of long coat, with open sleeves of soft, dove-grey cloth. Forbidden to wear European hats, they are compelled to adopt an exactly similar cap to the men, except that the crown is embroidered instead of bearing the royal initials. Nowhere have I seen such glorification of the male as in Montenegro. To the men, born fighters as they are, work is undignified; therefore the women toil while the opposite sex look on. I saw women employed in building operations and performing work which, in other countries, is left to day- labourers. Cettinje is quaint in the extreme. The only houses of foreigners are the various Legations, and the only foreigners are diplomats with their wives and families. The first thing that strikes the stranger is the number of petroleum tins. Opposite the hotel I saw a great ring of empty tins, numbering some hundreds, ranged around a fountain. A few women were squatting gossiping, and an armed policeman lounged against the water-source. On inquiry, I found that there was a water famine, and the tins had been placed there at dawn to await the moment when the authorities thought fit to allow the people to get their daily supply. The women had gone away to work, and would return later. The Monte- negrins a short time ago constructed a reservoir, but there was a crack in it, so the water ran away. Hence the famine. The petroleum tin is never out of sight for a single moment in Cettinje. At any hour, and in any street, you see women and children carrying them. They are used for everything, from milk-pails to flower-pots. In Cettinje one comes for the first time up against the dark-faced, scowling Albanian in his tightly fitting trousers of white wool striped with black, his dirty white fez, and the swagger of superiority in his gait. He is well armed, and for a good reason. The Montenegrin hates the Albanian, because of the constant border feuds over at Podgoritza, where blood is constantly spilt, and where I have seen a Montenegrin in the market squatting over a basket of apples with a loaded rifle. That morning I was chatting to a man in Montenegrin dress, of whom I had bought some excellent cigarettes, manufactured by the Montenegro Tobacco Monopoly-an Italian syndicate, by the way and happened to mention that I was on my way to Albania. "Ah, gospodin!" he exclaimed, holding up both his hands, and glancing at the revolver in my belt. "Take my advice. Don't go into Albania or Macedonia. You are not safe there from one moment to the other. For half a word they'll shoot you dead as easily as they drink a glass of wine. No man's life is worth a moment's purchase there. I'm Albanian myself from Kroja-and I know." This was scarcely reassuring. I looked about me on every hand as I strolled through Cettinje. All was so quiet, so orderly, so very peaceful there, even though the big, burly mountaineers in the gold-laced jackets eyed me with askance as I passed. Not without some trepidation I took a number of photographs, for I had heard that, like the Turk, the Monte- negrin was averse to having his counterfeit presentment put upon paper. Nevertheless, the first feeling of insecurity having passed, I very soon found myself quite at home in Cettinje, and in the midst of very good and kind friends. A good many foreigners come up from Cattaro to pry about Cettinje for a day or two, buy picture-postcards and antique arms, sneer at the honest Montenegrin, and return into Dalmatia. Towards such, the Montenegrin is not par- ticularly polite. But those who go to Cettinje to seriously and thoroughly study the people and their future will find a great deal of genuine and charming hospitality. My first day in Cettinje was lonely. Afterwards, until I left, I was always with friends and officials, who took the greatest trouble to answer my questions and explain matters. Montenegro is entirely unlike any other country in the world. Its air of antiquity is particularly pleasing, while on every hand the beneficent rule of Prince Nicholas is apparent. Every man in Montenegro swears by his Prince, whom he almost worships. They call him their "father," and if His Royal Highness raised the standard of war to- morrow, every man would rise and fight to the death. The Prince is accessible to all his people-more so to them, indeed, than to the diplomats. Sometimes, early in the morning, he will sit in an arm-chair on the steps leading to the entrance of his palace, and there hear the complaints or petitions of his people. In this patriarchal way he often ministers justice. Last year he granted Montenegro a Constitution, and there is now a Skupshtina similar to that of Servia; but the people have not yet quite understood that in future they must go to the Ministers, and not to their Prince. They will see him, and nobody else. In no country is loyalty and patriotism so strong as in Montenegro. The army is well trained, and the whole country being one huge natural fortress, a foreign enemy would experience enormous difficulty in gaining entrance. In Cettinje, even a constant traveller like myself meets with continual surprises. One day, while walking at the rear of the Bigliardo, or old palace-so called because when built the first billiard table was introduced-I heard the sound of clanking chains behind me. At first I took no notice, but as it continued with regular rhythm I glanced behind, when, to my amaze- ment, I saw a convict in leg-fetters with difficulty taking his afternoon stroll beneath the trees! There were several others on the grass plot before the prison, idling in the shadow or gossiping with their friends, who had come to keep them company! Inquiriesshowed that most of these prisoners were murderers, not for robbery but for vendetta. In Montenegro the blood- feud is constant, and life is held very cheap. It invariably commences by jealousy, and is of everyday occurrence. Two lovers quarrel, and one is shot. Then the blood-feud commences, and unlike in Italy or other Southern countries, the vendetta is not only upon the murderer, but upon his next-of-kin. Therefore, if the assassin escapes into Servia, Bosnia, or Turkey, as he so often does, the brother of the dead man takes up the feud and kills the assassin's brother without parley when next he meets him. I myself saw a man shot dead one night in Ryeka, at the head of the Lake of Scutari, and the murderer walked coolly away undeterred. It was the blood-feud, and no one took much notice. "S'bogom!" (God be with you!) It is the expression you hear on every hand in the Balkans. In the streets the peasants touch their round caps in salute and exclaim, "S'bogom!" When you leave for a journey and when you return, when you rise and when you go to rest; even if you go for a short walk-it is the same. Life is so uncertain in those wild regions that the protection of the Almighty is invoked upon you always, and your revolver is ever ready in your belt. In Cettinje I had a faithful guide and servant, a black-eyed, somewhat sinister-looking Albanian, named Palok. He travelled with me through Montenegro and Albania, and was most faithful and devoted. Besides Albanian and Serb he spoke a little Italian, and possessed a keen sense of humour. One day, while we were travelling through the wild, bare mountain, a perfect wilderness of huge boulders without a single tree or even blade of grass, we halted for our midday meal, and while eating he told me of a great friend of his who had recently been killed at Spuz for vendetta, and he added, fondling the butt of his revolver, "I too, gospodin, shall die before long." I looked at him in surprise. His usually humorous face had changed. It was dark and thoughtful, and his black eyes were fixed upon me. "Is there a blood-feud upon you, then?" I asked, in surprise. "Yes," he replied briefly; and though I endeavoured to persuade him to tell the story, it was not until the following day that with some reluctance he explained. "A year ago my brother Tef, away in Scutari, fell in love with a beautiful girl. He had a rival-a young Albanian, a coppersmith in the bazaar. They quarrelled, but the girl-ah! she was very beautiful-preferred Tef. Where- upon the rival one night took his rifle and laid in wait for my brother in the main street of Scutari. Early in the evening he left the house of the girl's father, and as he passed the fellow shot poor Tef dead." And he paused as his brow knit deeply, and his teeth were set tightly. "Well?" I asked. "Well, gospodin. What would you have done had your own brother died a dog's death? I took a rifle, and within a week the murderer was in his grave. I shot him through the heart and then I left Scutari." "And you are safe here, in Montenegro ?" "Safe! Oh dear, no," he answered. "One day-it may be to-day-the fellow's brother will kill me. He must kill me. It is Fate-why worry about it? It does one no good." And the marked man, the man doomed to die at a moment when he least expects it, rolled a cigarette and lit it with perfect resignment. "And are you not afraid to go with me back to Scutari?" I asked, amazed at his fearlessness. "Afraid, gospodin!" he exclaimed, looking at me in reproach as his hand instinctively wandered to his weapon. "Afraid! No Albanian is afraid of the blood-feud. I have killed the murderer, and his brother must kill me. It is our law." And the doomed man smiled gravely. "And the girl?" I asked. "Ah! They are all the same," he answered, with a quick shrug of the shoulders. "A month ago she married a tobacco- seller a man old enough to be her father. Poor Tef! If he could but know!" "And the blood-feud still continues?" "Of course-until I am dead." Then Palok smoked on in silence, entirely resigned to the fate that awaits him. He knows that one day, as he walks along the road, the sharp crack of a hidden rifle will sound, and he will fall to earth, another victim of a woman's fickleness. S'bogom! God be with you! CHAPTER II AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS The Palace at Cettinje-A cigarette with the Prince-The policy of Monte- negro-A confidential chat-His Royal Highness's admiration for England-His views upon Macedonia-He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania, but I persuade him to help me-His Highness's kindness -Souvenirs. HIS Royal Highness the Prince will be pleased to grant you private audience at four o'clock this after- noon, gospodin." The tall, burly aide-de-camp in the little round cap, high boots, pale blue overcoat, and pistols in his belt, saluted, and we shook hands. It was then three o'clock, and I was just about to go out to visit Madame Constantinovitch, the mother of Princess Mirko. So I had to return at once to my room and dress for the audience. The kings and princes of the Balkans have a habit of summoning one at a moment's notice, and paying visits at unearthly hours. Here, in Cettinje, in the heart of these wild, desolate fast- nesses, one seems so far removed from European influence, yet how great a part has this rocky, impregnable country, with its fierce soldier-inhabitants, played in the politics of Eastern Europe, and how great a part it is still destined to play in the near future! The fact that everybody is armed gives the stranger an uncanny feeling. The man who brings one's coffee wears a perfect arsenal of weapons in his sash, and one quickly acquires the habit of carrying a revolver one's self. Indeed, if you are wise, you will carry a good serviceable weapon from the moment you enter the Balkans to the moment you quit them. But if you approach the Albanian frontier, you will be at once warned not to fire without just cause. A few shots is sufficient to alarm the whole neighbourhood for many miles, and on hearing the alarm every man seizes his rifle and flies to the rendezvous, fully equipped and eager for the fight with those Albanian border tribes, of whom I afterwards had the good fortune to be the guest. I had already had a long chat with Prince Danilo, the Crown Prince of Montenegro, whom I found a very smart and highly educated man, fully alive to the political difficulties of the neighbouring states and the necessity of Montenegro preserving her independence. He held very strong views upon the terrible state of affairs in Macedonia, and gave me many interesting details about his own country. Having met him, and also his younger brother, Prince Mirko, I was particularly anxious to make the acquaintance of their father, Prince Nicholas, the ruler of the sturdy, warlike dwellers of the "Land of the Black Mountain "-the principal and most striking figure in this remarkable country, where peace and war walk ever hand-in-hand. Since 1860, when his uncle, Prince Danilo, was assassinated, he has ruled justly, if somewhat sternly, and has succeeded in raising his nation from a state of semi-civilisation to the high place it now occupies in the Eastern world. In 1888 he gave the country a Civil and Criminal Code, and last year he granted a Constitution. Indeed, he has done all in his power to induce his warriors to follow the arts of peace without forgetting those of war. At the hour appointed, the royal aide-de-camp called in a carriage and drove me to the Palace, a long, dark brown building of somewhat plain exterior, as befits the home of a fighting race, where I was received in the great hall by half a dozen bowing servants in scarlet and gold. Here I was met by the chamberlain, who conducted me up the grand staircase and into the great audience-chamber, with its many fine paintings and highly polished floor. Then, after a moment, the Prince-a brilliant figure-entered, shook me by the hand, and welcomed me to Montenegro. These formalities ended, His Royal Highness said in Italian, "Come, let us go into yonder room. We shall be able to talk there more comfortably." And he led me into a smaller chamber, where he gave me a seat at the table where he sat. The afternoon was gloomy, and dusk was creeping on, therefore upon the table a great antique silver candelabra had been set, and by its light I was enabled to obtain a good view of the ruler of Crnagora, the "Land of the Black Mountain." Of magnificent physique, tall, muscular, with hair slightly grey, he bore his sixty-five years lightly. Attired in the splendid national costume of scarlet, blue, and gold, with high boots, he wore a single decoration at his throat, the Cross of Danilo, of which Order he is Master. Upon his hand- some, well-cut features the candles shed a soft light, causing the gold upon his dress to glitter, and I noticed, as I asked him questions, how his dark, keen eyes shot quick, inquiring glances of alertness. After the first few minutes of regal formality His Highness's manner entirely changed. Putting ceremony aside, he pro- duced his cigarette case of crocodile skin, with the royal crown and cipher in gold in the corner-offered me a Montenegrin cigarette, took one himself, lit mine with his own hand, and then we fell to chatting. In the delightful hour and a half we smoked together I asked the prince-poet many questions, and learnt many things. He explained several difficult points in Balkan politics, which to me, an Englishman, had always been puzzling. We spoke in Italian of Macedonia and of a certain well-known foreign diplomat in London who was our mutual friend, the Prince giving me a very kind message to deliver to him. Presently I referred to the splendid result of his rule, and related to him a little incident which had occurred to me in Nyegush a few days before, as showing how deeply he was beloved by his nation. A smile crossed his fine open countenance as he replied simply, "I have done my best for my people-my very best; and I shall do so as long as God gives me life. I am happy to believe that my people appreciate my efforts." "And now, Monseigneur," I asked, "will you tell me what is the present position of Montenegro?" "The present position is peace," was his prompt answer. "I have granted a Constitution, and the first meeting of the new Skupshtina has been held successfully. Though the Albanian question is always with us, I am thankful to say we are on the most excellent terms with Turkey, while towards Russia we are pursuing our traditional policy. For the Emperor Francis Josef of Austria I have nothing but the most profound admiration, and I owe very much to him." "And towards England, Monseigneur ?" "England has been, as you know, Montenegro's very best friend," replied the Prince. "I, personally, have the greatest respect and admiration for your great country. We Montenegrins always remember that it was Mr. Gladstone who gave us the strip of seaboard on the Adriatic with Dulcigno. He was our greatest friend, and his memory is respected by admirer by every man in Montenegro. Of Tennyson, too, I am a great I am very fond of his poems." "You are a poet yourself, Monseigneur," I remarked, remembering that more than one poetical drama from his pen had been successfully produced on the stage. His Royal Highness smiled, and puffed slowly at his cigarette. "I have written one or two little things, it is true; but nothing of late." "I wonder if I dare ask your Royal Highness to write a few lines for me as a souvenir of my visit?" I asked, not without some trepidation. "Ah!-well-I won't promise," he laughed. "All depends whether I'm in the mood for it." "But you will try, won't you? And the Prince nodded assent. Then we spoke of Servia and of recent events there; but he was not inclined to discuss the question, and naturally so, when it is remembered that his daughter was the late wife of King Peter. Returning to the burning question of Macedonia, I saw that he was well informed of all that was transpiring around lakes Presba and Ochrida and down in Serres. "It is a monstrous state of affairs," he declared. "Something must be done at once, for as soon as spring comes again the massacres will increase." "But there are outrages, tortures, and massacres every day," I remarked. "Ah yes," he sighed, "I know. Most terrible details have reached me lately. But you are going to Macedonia yourself, and you will see with your own eyes." "And what, in your opinion, would be the best settlement of the question?" I inquired. "There is but one way, namely, for the Powers to call a conference and place Macedonia under a governor - general, who must be a European prince. The reforms would then be carried out, and the Greek bands expelled from the country. How long will Europe tolerate the present frightful state of affairs?" "The fact is, Monseigneur, that we, in England, are very ignorant of the true state of things, or even of the facts of the Macedonian question," I said. "Ah, there you are quite correct. If your English public knew what was really happening-how an innocent Christian population is being slaughtered and exterminated because of international rivalry-they would cry shame upon those responsible for this wholesale murder and outrage. But" -he smiled-" I almost forget myself. My position as a ruler forbids me to talk politics, you know!" And we laughed together. "So you are going to Servia, Bulgaria, Roumania, and to Constantinople-eh?" he remarked a little later, when we had lit fresh cigarettes. "In Bulgaria, and also in Roumania, you will see many things that will interest you. The Bul- garians are very strongly armed, and so are the Roumanians." "Her Majesty the Queen of Roumania has also promised me audience," I said. "When you see her, will you please present to Her Majesty my most cordial respects. She is so very charming." "I want, Monseigneur, to visit Northern Albania, leaving Montenegro by Ryeka and Scutari. Would that be the best route, do you think?" "What!" he exclaimed, in surprise. "Do you actually contemplate visiting the tribes up in the Accursed Mountains?" "Certainly. Why not?" "Well, my advice is, don't think of going there. If you do, you will never return. You'll be shot at sight, like a dog. You have no idea what those uncivilised tribes are like. The whole country is utterly lawless." "So I understand. But I've also heard that the Albanian possesses a deep sense of honour. And I thought that I might possibly obtain permission from one or other of the chiefs." The Prince was silent for a moment. Then, looking at me across the table, said- "Do not go. It is far too great a risk." His advice was the same that my, friends in London had given me; the same that I had received there, in the market-place of Cettinje. But I was determined, and pressed His Royal Highness to assist me, at last receiving his promise of help. By his kind permission, the Albanian named Palok acted as my guide, and what eventually happened to me in that wild region will be seen in the following pages. "Well," exclaimed the Prince at last, "if you go up there, it must be at your own risk. I've warned you of the danger. No one has been up there for many years. It has been at- tempted, of course, but travellers have either been held to ransom, and the Turks have been compelled to pay for their release, or else they have simply been shot by the first Albanian meeting them. The country beyond Scutari is the most unsafe in the whole Balkan Peninsula." I replied that I intended to make the attempt. "Well, then, I wish you buon viaggio," he laughed. "May every good luck attend you, and as we say in Montenegro - S'bogom! (God be with you!) When you return for I suppose you will pass this way down to the sea-come and see me, and tell me all about the Skreli and Kastrati country -for of course I am highly interested. They are always at war with our people on the frontier." "I will let your Royal Highness know the moment I am back in Cettinje," I promised. Then rising, he gripped my hand warmly, saying- "Then I will help you if I can. Be careful of yourself, for I shall be anxious about you. Again, S'bogom!" And the Prince accompanied me to the head of the grand staircase, where I made my obeisance, turned and descended through the rows of armed and bowing servants ranged in the hall, charmed by His Royal Highness's graciousness towards me and by the pleasant chat I had enjoyed. When, after my journey through Northern Albania, I one afternoon re-entered that audience-chamber, and he came forward with outstretched hand to greet me, he exclaimed- "Well, well! I am so glad to see you back safe and sound. You look a little thinner in the face a little travel-worn- eh? Life in the Albanian mountains is not like your life in London or Paris, is it? But never mind as long as you are safe," he laughed, placing his hand kindly upon my shoulder. "Come along to this room. It is more cosy," and he led me to the smaller apartment, his own private cabinet. For nearly two hours I sat relating to him what occurred on my journey, and describing the wild country which had, until then, been practically a sealed book. Even though Cettinje is so near, hardly anything was known of the Skreli, the Hoti, the Klementi, or the Kastrati tribes, save that they were brigandish bands who constantly raided the Montenegrin frontier. The Prince listened to me with great attention, and put many questions to me as we smoked together. Then rising, he took from a drawer in his great writing- table a small scarlet box, and as he opened it he bestowed upon me a compliment undeserved, for he said - "There are few men who would have risked what you have done. Therefore I wish to invest you with our Order of Danilo, as a mark of my appreciation and esteem." And he displayed to me the beautiful dark blue and white enamelled cross of the Order, the same that he was wearing at his throat, surmounted by the royal crown and suspended upon the white ribbon edged with cerise. After he had invested me with the Order, saying many kind things to me, which I really don't think I deserved, he added- "The chef du chancellerie will send you the diploma in due course, and I trust, when you petition your own gracious Sovereign King Edward, that His Majesty will allow you to wear this insignia." I thanked His Royal Highness, gripped his hand, and a few minutes later passed through the line of bowing servants out of the Palace. And that same evening I received from His Royal Highness the signed photograph which appears in these pages. Before I left Cettinje I received the following expressive lines, written especially for me by a Montenegrin poet who is a great personage, but whose name he would not permit me to give. They are in Servian as follows, and I have placed their English translation below :- S' veledušnog Albiona Pružiše se dvije ruke Crnoj Gori da pomogu U junačke njene muke S' vrućom rječu na ustima Gladston diže Crnogorce A Tenison za najprve U svijet ih broi borce Na glas svoih Velikana Britanski se narod trže Da pomože da zaštiti Crnu Goru iz najbrže Posla svoje bojne ladje Sto na tečnost gospostvuju Veledušno da zaštite Domovinu milu Moju O fala ti po sto puta Blagorodni lyudi Soju Dok je svjeta dok je greda Nad Ulcinjem koje stoju Hraniće ti blagodarnost Ova šaka sokolova Koima si u pomoci Stiga putem od valova. The literal translation in English is as follows:- From the great-souled Albion, Two arms were stretched To help Montenegro In her heroic sufferings. With fiery word on his lips Gladstone lifts up Montenegrins, Whilst Tennyson declared them The very first fighters in the world. On the call of their great men, British people rose up In quickest manner, to help And to protect Montenegro. They despatched their war-ships, Which rule over the seas, Generously to protect My Fatherland so dear to me. Oh! thanks to thee, hundredfold thanks, Noble race of men. As long as the world lasts, As long as the mountains above Dulcigno stand, Will remain grateful to thee, This handful of falcons, To whose help thou didst come By the road of the waves. - An Observer in the Near East - William Le Queux. Publisher, E. Nash, 1907. \** https://preview.redd.it/jg36zlvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eacb8abc6368963f81177eefecbd44642c09cd97 https://preview.redd.it/7lh8gmvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=225f2bc1649240bfe5c57e72dfdaf93f28938bb7 https://preview.redd.it/2lvn8hwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6677bcd6e7d76a5f229b5ea7e61c9f0a5596ea47 https://preview.redd.it/pgqltmvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4acf257abe5f0223c62635ecd9ac2a4f5e9614e https://preview.redd.it/xktn0ovu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14d6087bbc6b3028c40e6e978674d470e23fab35 https://preview.redd.it/4zps2mvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51e5049c7cbbc1fc455754e40e04c9b2c9a124e0 https://preview.redd.it/9qr2xrwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48f98198cad524a0157100b60325e72d6b2f1770 https://preview.redd.it/ywzpenvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7118b6072a634d6ccce1b96eaab6bebbf987e194 https://preview.redd.it/9h2y0mvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=966897fbdcca422eee9ff410852bcd8cbe89d1ae https://preview.redd.it/07po9ovu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8a078de6ef8ffc1808160270e46329f3a097d21 https://preview.redd.it/n89tenvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea8a9fee167bb25b07ec3137bd235d600cb9dbe4 https://preview.redd.it/vv7knswu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa295c8644a75b5f5a5050bf0795875f9925c3b5 https://preview.redd.it/q1jxpnvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d7431b419b1f5c1a33dba099465285fc5ed5297 https://preview.redd.it/w44qbfwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e18314ac2a333efe0b2d9301f7fba3c6d40b12f4 https://preview.redd.it/mclcb6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90e4b7fedc3b3d63ee33c7c2cbd1b990a60203f3 https://preview.redd.it/qf6829tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97e01c85545926178ccddbaee3ef4d96f2052201 https://preview.redd.it/5rqaz5tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b90176f3da386c7875f33301b02806cbfd8ec2c1 https://preview.redd.it/702o47tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f3fe6bbf9e492105e72f1a551d902ec74218d03 https://preview.redd.it/bloxg8ug2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b3d48034feb0a9f8f192e91df103a0308991c8b https://preview.redd.it/a2jhb8tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb9a7fbfbce7700a06aa50574a786668dd321727 https://preview.redd.it/jgiqu6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec2b5af58c8e25428d0c39550ed54d71e6c9188c https://preview.redd.it/ud3kc5tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73dd2e0d96ef1cae5d9d934234db8f886b543e83 https://preview.redd.it/59uib9tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b319597ac2f654c036eddec48c29e9ad539bebb https://preview.redd.it/8ahdu6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ccad4eec7cb2a6ec943633f09df5e4c6368e21a https://preview.redd.it/iat3u8ug2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd80620268744a4d40a5d90aa291c5c56a5f64a9 https://preview.redd.it/ix1wp7tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0167cb5340b66f879442cdee00459649a31d8400 https://preview.redd.it/6p3tr6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff95f8f74a7a65050a8abd518f321a186425ff92 https://preview.redd.it/iqvfy6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0216c5b990fc3f44ac5b266cd3838b2830b295b https://preview.redd.it/d94is8tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74c14118e9431762a63800f3f25ed864ea637e52 |
2024.05.06 05:11 fatbutslow02 New to me '05 EX write up
 | I was carless for the last year (not a huge problem as I can ride my bike just about anywhere in my town) and had been dreaming of finding an Element. Well, the stars aligned and I finally pulled the trigger a few weeks ago on a grey with 191,xxx miles. I am not a car guy AT ALL, but with the help of a good friend, I have been chipping away at the known problems generally cleaning her up. Before I get into the nitty gritty, I'll preface by saying that practically everything I've replaced on it was pulled from junkyard elements (RIP). I HIGHLY recommend checking your local Pick-A-Part if you're considering replacing any non-wear parts (i.e. suspension, brakes, etc.). submitted by fatbutslow02 to HondaElement [link] [comments] Here is a laundry list of what I've done so far: Exterior:
https://preview.redd.it/bfzhq6q84qyc1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff0db6237268d942e74ca430f0800dd43cc5b9d5 |
2024.05.05 23:22 AustralianChrono Chronologica's Drag Race Season 5: Reunited!
“Are you ready?” Yasmin Raiz places a MASSIVE bowl of fried rice onto the table. “Hi everyone, it’s Yasmin Raiz, your Season 4 Mx Congeniality, and I’m here to host our REUNION of Season 5 of Chronologica’s Drag Race!” Yamin stands to welcome the monarchs. “Welcome back the lovely contestants of CDR Season 5! Madam Maine!”
Madam Maine re-wears her finale look: a top hat, fitted black and white suit and a pair of silver boots with a cane. She bows and smiles broadly, looking nervous.
“Kaia K. Beauvoir!”
Kaia strides out confidently in an elaborate gold and silver pageant dress, with silver hair that glitters with metallic extensions.
“Cwunchie!”
Cwunchie is dressed as a little yellow plastic flower, with big petals and a tiny narrow stem. Her arms and legs are constricted at her sides in the stem and she hops along the runway towards her chair, grinning wildly.
“Now, let’s welcome the elephant in the room.” Yasmin smiles. “Bates Baghdashi, everyone!”
Bates arrives in a sepia-painted Agatha-Christie-esque detective look, with decadent shades of tan, brown, and black, an oversized magnifying glass, a briefcase, and a messy mop of Sherlockian curls.
“Oh, I love this.” Yasmin claps.
Bates lights an oversized origami faux cigarette, pretends to smoke from it, then flicks it away, where it unfurls into a bird, already aflame, and blasts away into the air, powered by a miniature firework.
Madam Maine looks very afraid for a moment, and starts to stand up.
“Before we continue, I want to let everyone know that their safety is assured! You are not in danger.” Yasmin smiles at Maine. Bates blushes.
Maine sits back down.
“Say hello, it’s Mermaid princess, Cleo Mertoris!”
Cleo wears a golden seashell bikini top stoned to the gods, showcasing some clear, recent work done on her chest, as well as a tight blue mini dress, as she flicks back her long luscious ginger hair with a smirk.
“Drag Princesita!”
Princesita waves in a sepia coloured maxi dress and bald head look, with bronze glitter on the top of her now shaved head, as she spins around with a smile on her face.
“It’s Briar Midnights!”
Briar walks out dressed quite similar to Ambrose’s traditional look- a tophat and sleek black trench coat, with jet black, wet hair and a half-smirk.
“Ms Stripes, Starzanne!”
The others look unimpressed as Starzanne walks out in an American Eagle style look, with feathers, glitter and fringe wrapped around her body.
“Ambrose NOIR!”
Amborse wears a black plaid mini skirt and white linen shirt, going for a rare fem drag look, with long black braids with hundreds of little pins wrapped into the braids.
“S-S-e-v-e-r-a!”
Severa rocks BODY on the main stage, wearing a bikini top and denim short combo, as well as a sensible pair of blue boots and pigtails to add the final touch.
“Magenta! Leigh! Simmons!”
Magenta gaps, wearing a Magenta coloured plaid look, wrapped around her body to create a fitted garment, along with a Magenta pair of sneakers.
“Jupiter Sterling!”
Jupiter rocks a head to toe, douchebag Vuitton look- jacket, shirt, pants, glasses and a backwards baseball cap.
“Apocalyptica!”
Apocalyptica looks slightly displeased- wearing a bright, toxic green look that appears to have toxic slime wrapped around her, in a similar vein to a past look.
“Lupe LaBelleza!”
Lupe wears a sensible pussycat wig, red coat and matching pencil skirt, with a black sheer turtleneck and a red fedora, along with a pair of black sheer socks being held up by garter belts and classic black pumps with a smile.
“And our winner, Nymphe d’Azote!”
Wearing her crown on her shoulders, her head too small for her crown, Nymphe is dressed in a glittering yellow robe, wearing a matching facemask looking ready for a spa moment, along with a wig, made entirely of bubbles!
Yasmin smiles, handing people plates of rice. “Now, today we're spilling ALL of the TEA. At the start of our season, we said goodbye to some girls that some fans really wanted to see more of. Say hello to Madam Maine, Miss Kaia K. Beauvoir, and…”
“CWUNCHIE!!!!” Cwunchie interrupts happily.
Severa rolls her eyes.
Cleo rolls her eyes.
Kaia rolls her eyes.
Severa glares at Cleo.
Cleo glares at Kaia.
Kaia glares at Severa.
Yasmin smiles. “Madam Maine. Once and for all, can you tell us why you’re named after a state you’re not even from?”
“Oh! Haha.” Madam Maine laughs nervously, eyeing the cameras. “I really like Maine. I have a French Canadian aunt who lives up there.”
“French Canada? Is she related to French Montana?” Magenta asks.
“Oh…no.” Madam Maine smiles awkwardly.
“A lot of our viewers this season questioned whether you were totally ready for the Drag Race experience. What’s your take?”
“I will be honest. I wasn’t.” Maine flushes. “I don’t think that I totally understood the caliber of some of these performers, and…I was in such awe of them. I feel really lucky that I’ve gotten to know some of my castmates, including all the first outs before me. Jupiter and Princesita especially, I really feel have shown me love.”
“You’re a sweetheart, honey.” Princesita smiles. “I hope you get your chance to come back someday too.”
“Are we going to do that every few seasons? Because it’ll get old, QUICK.” Severa responds. “Twists are only twists if we don’t see them coming.”
“Agreed.” Kaia says.
Princesita frowns.
Yasmin looks at Kaia. “Kaia, you represented, I believe, our first instance of a child of Drag Race–that is, your drag mom, The Mother Delilah, competed on season 2.”
“That’s right.” Kaia nods, keeping one eye warily on Severa and Cleo. “As a trans woman, it was important to me to be part of a legacy of successful trans women.”
“Delilah was successful?” Severa half jests with a smirk. “I think there have been plenty of trans women on the show who were more successful.”
Lupe looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.
“Whatever, I’m proud to be a daughter of Miss Delilah regardless and even more proud of having a healthy and kind relationship with the woman who inspired my craft.” Kaia says haughtily. “Not all of us can say that after all.”
“Ooooooooo…” the room roars.
Severa makes a displeased face and shrugs.
“One question about your time on the show, Kaia.” Yasmin looks around. “Why do you, in particular, think you ended up going home so early? A lot of fans were very surprised.”
“I think it’s quite obvious that Cleo’s leadership in that challenge was disastrous for me and everyone else on it. I’d assume that Cleo’s current appearance reflects how people received her during this season.”
“You mean my gorgeous knockers?” Cleo shimmies.
“I mean, your cheap bra and panty set.” Kaia snaps. “And-”
“You’re so smug.” Cleo interrupts. “As if you have anything to be smug about. Not with that mug, you don’t, mate.”
“At least I can still afford my makeup.” Kaia shoots back.
Cleo huffs and crosses her arms.
“Cwunchie! You were a force of nature for a short time with us this season.” Yasmin looks nervous to even speak to Cwunchie.
“WOOOOOOHOOOOO!” Cwunchie yells. “This show did NOT disappoint! I–”
It then cuts to an ad break.
~
“Welcome back to the Chronologica’s Drag Race Season 5 Reunion! Onto, the infamous, Bates!” Yasmin smiles. “You had one of the most DRAMATIC moments, ever in history. Let’s look back.”
Bates grins as the cast turns to watch the TV screen.
~
Will the following-
Wait.
Everyone looks concerned. For a moment, the stage is perfectly still, as the judges and racers wait with uncertainty.
In the distance, sirens are heard. The sirens get closer. And closer.
Suddenly, a group of police officers in full riot gear burst into the room through a production door. Crew members and producers look shocked and frantic. The police officers are led by a stern-faced man with a badge that reads "Officer Jeffery," who steps forward, his hand gripping a pair of handcuffs.
What?
Office Jeffrey points directly towards the racers. Everyone looks to see who he’s pointing at.
Bates stares back at the officer expressionless, blood still dripping from their look.
"Mahdi Hakimian?” The police officers crowd onto the stage towards Bates.
“Oh my god.” Magenta gasps.
Princesita starts to say something, and Jupiter reaches over to cover Princesita’s mouth.
“Yes.” Bates gulps.
Officer Jeffery reaches towards Bates. “Turn around and place your hands behind your back.”
Bates stands silently, his face expressionless.
“I am placing you under arrest in connection with the murders of Javad Tahmasb, Hamidreza Entezami, Mohamad Askari, Mostafa Shahi, Ali Reza Arjmand, Arman Nousari, Elahe Nousari, Setareh Tarokh, and Mohammed Tarokh."
Magenta falls to the ground in her bra and panty set, as everyone looks in stunned silence.
Bates slowly raises their hands as the police officers move closer, handcuffing them.
Everyone looks in disbelief. The judges look shocked and horrified.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
Bates looks at Apocalyptica, still expressionless, and speaks softly. “Christian…I’m sorry.”
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights?”
Bates gives a nearly imperceptible nod.
Apocalyptica’s eyes well with tears. “Batesy?”
~
“Traumatic.” Apocalyptica looks at Bates, who exhales.
“To explain this….” Yasmin looks over. “Rachelle Mirage!”
Rachelle walks in with a smile.
“You two have worked hard together- tell us, what happened?!”
“I am, as we’d all know, originally from Iran. And- I knew it was a risk.” Bates exhales. “And they found out, and tried to have me extradited back from the US, for an alleged murder.”
“You killed someone?” Magenta gasps.
“A set up. Some of my former schoolmates had reported to the government that I had been cast here. So they falsified police records to make it look like I had done something which… was just because I, a Queer person, was representing the country in a way that didn’t match their… image.” Bates nods.
“Then comes… me.” Rachelle grins. “I could not let this happen.”
“Thank you, Rachelle.” Bates smiles.
“I felt something was off. And, I served as a character witness in the International Criminal Court, where… Eventually, after little evidence, we were able to not only have this gorgeous artist freed- but, I pulled some strings…”
“And I am now living in Denver.” Bates responds, holding Apocalyptica’s hand.
“What a shocking story.” Yasmin smiles. “And Apocalyptica, I must ask- are you two…?”
“We live literally across the street from each other.” Apocalyptica smiles.
The two grin.
“Now next up! She was one of our famous RETURNEES- Ms Cleo Mertoris, who won her first challenge- then proceeded to go home. Cleo, how did you feel about your journey?”
“I think… I should’ve gone much further than I did, to be honest.” Cleo shrugs.
“Girl...” Severa stares at Cleo for a few seconds. “You deserve exactly what you got- because you weren’t talented enough to survive a lipsync.”
“Not Miss ‘Double Sashay’ talking.” Cleo gasps. “At least I could pay for my tits myself, and not resort to sugar daddies huh Sevvie… Fucking bitch!” In a flash, Cleo, angrily standing, throws her drink onto Severa, who yelps.
In a flash, Yasmin tries to pull Cleo away from Severa, but Cleo does her best to claw at Severa.
“The fuck?” Jupiter yells.
“Don’t fucking call me Sevvie ever again!” Severa yells, scrubbing at her ruined dress and crying while subtly drinking the cocktail on her face.
“I’ll call you whatever I fucking want! Coming for my fucking gig!” Cleo shrieks.
“Let’s stop this-” Yasmin raises her hand.
Cleo spits at Severa. “Fuck you, fucking whore. You only transitioned to copy me! I MADE YOU! I-”
“WE’RE GOING TO ANOTHER BREAK!” Yasmin yells.
~
Severa tries to shake cocktail out of her wet wig.
Lupe covers her mouth with one hand. Kaia is laughing.
Nymphe suddenly stands and aggressively wrings out Severa’s wig, as Severa winces.
“Well!” Yasmin says sharply. “Are you okay, Severa?”
“I’m fine.” Severa huffs, bent over as Nymphe wrings her wig out. “I started my transition because, since the season aired, I came to terms with a lot about myself. Including how some of my behavior on the season was…rash. I’ve definitely been hiding from this moment. And Cleo has nothing to do with it.”
Lupe apologetically speaks up. “Pienso que, Severa, that Cleo might just be jealous of you.”
“You know it, mami.” Severa sighs. “I also really want to express some sincere apologies to you.”
Lupe looks startled.
“I think that with our time on the show, I was often jealous of you. Unlike me, or Cleo, or Kaia, you have been confidently living in your womanhood for a long time. I’ve followed you for a long time…and I fucked up.” Severa nods. “I am sorry.”
“I accept your apology, darling.” Lupe smiles. “It’s all I ever needed.”
“Now, these two were our OTHER, non finalist returnees, and both have… wild journeys.” Yasmin smiles.
“Non finalist.” Princesita frowns.
“You did good, Mami.” Lupe smiles. “I know it was hard…”
“I lip synced- a lot.” Princesita nods. “And it was hard.” Princesita begins to tear up. “Because, I believed I could do better, you know?”
Magenta holds Princesita’s hand.
“But- you must keep going. You can never push yourself too far, and maybe this wasn’t my journey. I think… I think I've accepted that now.” Princesita sighs.
“Regardless of how it ends, know that you should be proud of yourself, girl.” Kaia shrugs. “Like, we can’t all win.”
“Like me.” Starzanne jokes.
Nobody laughs.
“Well, turning to you, Starzanne, you had a controversial moment this season, in your makeover moment….” Starzanne turns. “How did it feel, watching it back?”
“I feel bad.” Starzanne closes her eyes. “And… I’m learning, I’m working on what I know, how to do it better, how to…” Starzanne sighs. “Do more than what I did, and truly, I feel shame.”
“I kinda think it’s bullshit.” Severa looks at Starzanne. “Because I think you knew better.”
Ambrose and Briar nod in agreement.
“HOWEVER…” Severa shrugs. “Good for you.”
Starzanne pouts, before nodding. “I aim to really deliver, I p-promise.”
The others look uncertain.
Bates sighs. “As the Middle Eastern refugee here, I can’t speak for Mohammed, who it’s obvious you really hurt and mistreated…and I hope he never has to see or work with you again. Because I hope you do learn, Starzanne. But also know the work is on you, not people of color.”
Severa gulps.
“Moving onto a power couple, or power ex-couple, this season. Briar and Ambrose…”
Jupiter woofs.
“How are we going since the season?” Yasmin asks.
“We’ve reconciled.” Ambrose looks at Briar with a knowing glance.
“I think both of us felt intense pressure this season.” Briar nods. “We both wanted to exist separate, but were so intrinsically tied to each other…”
“Ultimately I did think it led to our failure.” Ambrose sighs. “And- that’s fair, because it was a lesson to learn.”
“The lesson, being?”
“We are powerful- together.” Ambrose smiles, holding hands. “But, we believe it’s important to make space.”
“So, where does that mean for you now?” Yasmin asks. “The both of you.”
The two look at each other.
“We’re creating space, yet, collaborating.” Ambrose nods. “And-”
“They’re fucking again, BUT not doing duo gigs. Only attending gigs together.” Magenta chuckles.
Everyone gasps.
“Well… true.” Briar shrugs.
“Now, finally- the shocking moment… right before the semi final.” Yasmin nods. “Let’s look.”
~
I’ve made my decision.
Jupiter Sterling, Shantay you stay.
“Thank you.” Jupiter exhales. “Thank you.”
Severa closes her eyes, whispering to herself. “Severa, shantay…”
Severa and Magenta Leigh Simmons…
The others look on.
Thank you for being here, and doing great work this season. Now, I must say… sashay away.
“Damn!” Magenta yells, as Chronologica chuckles.
Everyone in the back of the stage look flabbergasted.
“No, thank you for this.” Magenta bows.
Severa looks at the judges for a split second, before walking off without a word.
“...Damn!” Magenta says again, as the others laugh. “I’m strutting off with GRACE.”
Magenta raises her hands in the air, as she walks off with a cheer.
~
“First, you- Severa, how are you feeling with time?” Yasmin asks.
“I feel as if that’s a different girl. Kinda. She’s thinking she’s giving nothing, not caring- but she cares too much, she’s lost that war. I think of myself as effortlessly fierce- but I did get stressed. I wish I… walked off and stomped the stage.” Severa sighs. “Instead of that.”
“And that’s okay, because we all- get there, sometimes.” Princesita says. “It’s about what you do next.”
“I’m going to win, girl.” Severa jokes. “They gotta make another All Stars so this diva can take the title.”
Everyone chuckles.
“Magenta, how did you feel, about being the other half?”
“I am happy, because if I’m being damn honest, I didn’t expect to make it this far!” Magenta laughs. “And I was me the whole damn time.”
“I love you for being you.” Jupiter adds. “You’re real, Ms Simmons. We honor that.”
“And not everyone can say that.” Nymphe smirks.
Apocalyptica grips Bates' hands.
“Now, it’s time for us to celebrate… some titles.” Yasmin smiles. “First, our GOLD BOOT title of the Season- ugliest outfit. Winner of a $5000 grand prize….”
…
Starzanne Stripes and September Remembers arrive in what else, but red, white, and blue. September looks patchy- his face is painted red, white and blue, in an attempt to cover his beard. Starzanne and September are both wearing fringe dresses that look straight out of a car wash, and it’s the epitome of… awkward.
“Starzanne!”
Starzanne chuckles, grabbing the trophy.
“Anything to say, Starzanne?”
“I am now wearing a lot LESS red, white and blue.” Starzanne nods.
The others awkwardly chuckle.
“Now, our title of SHADE- The Shadiest C.U.N.T this season.” Yasmin smiles. “Can I have a drumroll?”
“Cleo?” Severa looks over at the empty seat laughing.
“SEVERA!” Yasmin cheers. “Condragulations, you’ve won $10,000!”
Severa chuckles, grabbing the sash. “Thank you,I’d like to thank Cleo, Alcohol, and the rest of you for being too boring to get confessionals!”
Lupe laughs dramatically.
“I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m not!”
Everyone laughs.
….
“Finally, MY successor.” Yasmin smiles. “This year, the Congenial title will win $20,000, sponsored by Virtue Beauty.”
Everyone looks excitedly.
“The Winner is… MAGENTA LEIGH SIMMONS!” Yasmin cheers, as everyone starts clapping.
“Yes, yes!” Magenta cheers, as Yasmin puts the sash on her.
“Do you have anything to say, my Queen?”
“I-” Magenta smiles. “Damn.”
Everyone cheers.
“She’s finally out of things to say everybody!” Kaia laughs.
“Ugh…” Apocalyptica whimpers, wiping her eyes, as the others look over.
“Popsicle, are you okay?” Lupe asks.
“I’m- I’m fine.” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just- am really happy for Magenta.”
Magenta smiles.
“Bullshit.” Nymphe looks over.
The room is quiet.
“You expected this win, and again, you’re inauthentic, you’re lying, and you’re not owning up to when you want something.” Nymphe responds.
“I-” Apocalyptica tears up, holding onto Bates. “I-”
“I do have a question to ask, actually, as the crowned Ms SHADE.” Severa smirks. “Ms, Popsicle- we noticed your lack of presence at the crowning. You weren’t at any of the cast parties we held to celebrate or any of the events we planned, so what’s really up?”
Nymphe looks over.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t feel up to it. I was a bit sad, and I really did want to be there- but I-I felt physically ill, and…”
“Bullshit, again.” Severa rolls her eyes.
“Alright, you guys can have your opinions on everyone’s actions, but we don’t need to gang up on her.” Bates says, raising their voice a little..
“I don’t know what any of you mean…” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just-”
“You wanted to win, so you’re bitter. You kept denying it- but clearly, you positioned yourself in a way to do well. And you lost. So, why not own up to it?” Nymphe asks.
“Ugh, Can you go fuck yourself?” Apocalyptica snaps.
“Woah.” Magenta says.
Everyone looks spooked.
“Popsicle… You don’t have to acknowledge them…” Bates whispers.
“Of course I wanted to win.” Apocalyptica exclaims loudly. “I wanted to prove alt drag, to prove myself, and I don’t think that trying to be nice while doing so is a sin. ” Apocalyptica says. “LIKE-”
“Because you weren’t being real.” Severa looks at Apocalyptica. “Not the sweet girl who always happens to copy others.”
“I- You can think whatever you want. I…Actually I’m not going to continue to engage with this narrative.” Apocalyptica stutters as she turns to hold onto Bates.
“If you owned being unoriginal, maybe you’d have won.” Nymphe shrugs.
“Okay hold up- I’m mad she didn’t show up to our get togethers either but unoriginal?” Kaia inserts herself into the conversation. “We all get inspired and learn and take notes from others, like that’s the point of drag families, Delilah taught me so much, does that make me unoriginal? Have none of us ever felt inspired after seeing a good drag show or look?”
“I learned a lot from everyone in my short time here, my drag has changed a lot from all of you.” Madame Maine smiles.
“Girl, there’s a difference between being inspired and trying to steal my signature move the week after I leave.” Severa turns back at Kaia and Madame Maine.
“And were you the first to ever do that move? You came up with it with absolutely no influence from anyone else.” Apocalyptica bites.
“I don’t remember getting any credit or even a shoutout.” Severa stares at Popsicle.
“Do you give credits to who helped teach you how to dip every time you do it?” Apocalyptica retorts. “Whatever, i'm just so over this conversation.”
“Cool.” Nymphe bluntly states.
Apocalyptica rolls her eyes. “Cool.”
A couple of seconds pass of silence.
“Well, thank you all for a lovely season.” Yasmin smiles breaking the tension. “Now, before we go… Here's a sneak peak of SEASON 6 of Chronlogica’s DRAG RACE, coming soon!”
~
This has been… magic.
“It sure has.” Nymphe nods, sipping her pink tea. “But the magic… lives on and continues, as does the journey of the forest. It is… eternal.”
It's magic, you know…
Thirteen figures flash, as someone grabs a potion labeled ‘IMMUNITY’.
submitted by AustralianChrono to ChronologicasDragRace [link] [comments]
Madam Maine re-wears her finale look: a top hat, fitted black and white suit and a pair of silver boots with a cane. She bows and smiles broadly, looking nervous.
“Kaia K. Beauvoir!”
Kaia strides out confidently in an elaborate gold and silver pageant dress, with silver hair that glitters with metallic extensions.
“Cwunchie!”
Cwunchie is dressed as a little yellow plastic flower, with big petals and a tiny narrow stem. Her arms and legs are constricted at her sides in the stem and she hops along the runway towards her chair, grinning wildly.
“Now, let’s welcome the elephant in the room.” Yasmin smiles. “Bates Baghdashi, everyone!”
Bates arrives in a sepia-painted Agatha-Christie-esque detective look, with decadent shades of tan, brown, and black, an oversized magnifying glass, a briefcase, and a messy mop of Sherlockian curls.
“Oh, I love this.” Yasmin claps.
Bates lights an oversized origami faux cigarette, pretends to smoke from it, then flicks it away, where it unfurls into a bird, already aflame, and blasts away into the air, powered by a miniature firework.
Madam Maine looks very afraid for a moment, and starts to stand up.
“Before we continue, I want to let everyone know that their safety is assured! You are not in danger.” Yasmin smiles at Maine. Bates blushes.
Maine sits back down.
“Say hello, it’s Mermaid princess, Cleo Mertoris!”
Cleo wears a golden seashell bikini top stoned to the gods, showcasing some clear, recent work done on her chest, as well as a tight blue mini dress, as she flicks back her long luscious ginger hair with a smirk.
“Drag Princesita!”
Princesita waves in a sepia coloured maxi dress and bald head look, with bronze glitter on the top of her now shaved head, as she spins around with a smile on her face.
“It’s Briar Midnights!”
Briar walks out dressed quite similar to Ambrose’s traditional look- a tophat and sleek black trench coat, with jet black, wet hair and a half-smirk.
“Ms Stripes, Starzanne!”
The others look unimpressed as Starzanne walks out in an American Eagle style look, with feathers, glitter and fringe wrapped around her body.
“Ambrose NOIR!”
Amborse wears a black plaid mini skirt and white linen shirt, going for a rare fem drag look, with long black braids with hundreds of little pins wrapped into the braids.
“S-S-e-v-e-r-a!”
Severa rocks BODY on the main stage, wearing a bikini top and denim short combo, as well as a sensible pair of blue boots and pigtails to add the final touch.
“Magenta! Leigh! Simmons!”
Magenta gaps, wearing a Magenta coloured plaid look, wrapped around her body to create a fitted garment, along with a Magenta pair of sneakers.
“Jupiter Sterling!”
Jupiter rocks a head to toe, douchebag Vuitton look- jacket, shirt, pants, glasses and a backwards baseball cap.
“Apocalyptica!”
Apocalyptica looks slightly displeased- wearing a bright, toxic green look that appears to have toxic slime wrapped around her, in a similar vein to a past look.
“Lupe LaBelleza!”
Lupe wears a sensible pussycat wig, red coat and matching pencil skirt, with a black sheer turtleneck and a red fedora, along with a pair of black sheer socks being held up by garter belts and classic black pumps with a smile.
“And our winner, Nymphe d’Azote!”
Wearing her crown on her shoulders, her head too small for her crown, Nymphe is dressed in a glittering yellow robe, wearing a matching facemask looking ready for a spa moment, along with a wig, made entirely of bubbles!
Yasmin smiles, handing people plates of rice. “Now, today we're spilling ALL of the TEA. At the start of our season, we said goodbye to some girls that some fans really wanted to see more of. Say hello to Madam Maine, Miss Kaia K. Beauvoir, and…”
“CWUNCHIE!!!!” Cwunchie interrupts happily.
Severa rolls her eyes.
Cleo rolls her eyes.
Kaia rolls her eyes.
Severa glares at Cleo.
Cleo glares at Kaia.
Kaia glares at Severa.
Yasmin smiles. “Madam Maine. Once and for all, can you tell us why you’re named after a state you’re not even from?”
“Oh! Haha.” Madam Maine laughs nervously, eyeing the cameras. “I really like Maine. I have a French Canadian aunt who lives up there.”
“French Canada? Is she related to French Montana?” Magenta asks.
“Oh…no.” Madam Maine smiles awkwardly.
“A lot of our viewers this season questioned whether you were totally ready for the Drag Race experience. What’s your take?”
“I will be honest. I wasn’t.” Maine flushes. “I don’t think that I totally understood the caliber of some of these performers, and…I was in such awe of them. I feel really lucky that I’ve gotten to know some of my castmates, including all the first outs before me. Jupiter and Princesita especially, I really feel have shown me love.”
“You’re a sweetheart, honey.” Princesita smiles. “I hope you get your chance to come back someday too.”
“Are we going to do that every few seasons? Because it’ll get old, QUICK.” Severa responds. “Twists are only twists if we don’t see them coming.”
“Agreed.” Kaia says.
Princesita frowns.
Yasmin looks at Kaia. “Kaia, you represented, I believe, our first instance of a child of Drag Race–that is, your drag mom, The Mother Delilah, competed on season 2.”
“That’s right.” Kaia nods, keeping one eye warily on Severa and Cleo. “As a trans woman, it was important to me to be part of a legacy of successful trans women.”
“Delilah was successful?” Severa half jests with a smirk. “I think there have been plenty of trans women on the show who were more successful.”
Lupe looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.
“Whatever, I’m proud to be a daughter of Miss Delilah regardless and even more proud of having a healthy and kind relationship with the woman who inspired my craft.” Kaia says haughtily. “Not all of us can say that after all.”
“Ooooooooo…” the room roars.
Severa makes a displeased face and shrugs.
“One question about your time on the show, Kaia.” Yasmin looks around. “Why do you, in particular, think you ended up going home so early? A lot of fans were very surprised.”
“I think it’s quite obvious that Cleo’s leadership in that challenge was disastrous for me and everyone else on it. I’d assume that Cleo’s current appearance reflects how people received her during this season.”
“You mean my gorgeous knockers?” Cleo shimmies.
“I mean, your cheap bra and panty set.” Kaia snaps. “And-”
“You’re so smug.” Cleo interrupts. “As if you have anything to be smug about. Not with that mug, you don’t, mate.”
“At least I can still afford my makeup.” Kaia shoots back.
Cleo huffs and crosses her arms.
“Cwunchie! You were a force of nature for a short time with us this season.” Yasmin looks nervous to even speak to Cwunchie.
“WOOOOOOHOOOOO!” Cwunchie yells. “This show did NOT disappoint! I–”
It then cuts to an ad break.
~
“Welcome back to the Chronologica’s Drag Race Season 5 Reunion! Onto, the infamous, Bates!” Yasmin smiles. “You had one of the most DRAMATIC moments, ever in history. Let’s look back.”
Bates grins as the cast turns to watch the TV screen.
~
Will the following-
Wait.
Everyone looks concerned. For a moment, the stage is perfectly still, as the judges and racers wait with uncertainty.
In the distance, sirens are heard. The sirens get closer. And closer.
Suddenly, a group of police officers in full riot gear burst into the room through a production door. Crew members and producers look shocked and frantic. The police officers are led by a stern-faced man with a badge that reads "Officer Jeffery," who steps forward, his hand gripping a pair of handcuffs.
What?
Office Jeffrey points directly towards the racers. Everyone looks to see who he’s pointing at.
Bates stares back at the officer expressionless, blood still dripping from their look.
"Mahdi Hakimian?” The police officers crowd onto the stage towards Bates.
“Oh my god.” Magenta gasps.
Princesita starts to say something, and Jupiter reaches over to cover Princesita’s mouth.
“Yes.” Bates gulps.
Officer Jeffery reaches towards Bates. “Turn around and place your hands behind your back.”
Bates stands silently, his face expressionless.
“I am placing you under arrest in connection with the murders of Javad Tahmasb, Hamidreza Entezami, Mohamad Askari, Mostafa Shahi, Ali Reza Arjmand, Arman Nousari, Elahe Nousari, Setareh Tarokh, and Mohammed Tarokh."
Magenta falls to the ground in her bra and panty set, as everyone looks in stunned silence.
Bates slowly raises their hands as the police officers move closer, handcuffing them.
Everyone looks in disbelief. The judges look shocked and horrified.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
Bates looks at Apocalyptica, still expressionless, and speaks softly. “Christian…I’m sorry.”
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights?”
Bates gives a nearly imperceptible nod.
Apocalyptica’s eyes well with tears. “Batesy?”
~
“Traumatic.” Apocalyptica looks at Bates, who exhales.
“To explain this….” Yasmin looks over. “Rachelle Mirage!”
Rachelle walks in with a smile.
“You two have worked hard together- tell us, what happened?!”
“I am, as we’d all know, originally from Iran. And- I knew it was a risk.” Bates exhales. “And they found out, and tried to have me extradited back from the US, for an alleged murder.”
“You killed someone?” Magenta gasps.
“A set up. Some of my former schoolmates had reported to the government that I had been cast here. So they falsified police records to make it look like I had done something which… was just because I, a Queer person, was representing the country in a way that didn’t match their… image.” Bates nods.
“Then comes… me.” Rachelle grins. “I could not let this happen.”
“Thank you, Rachelle.” Bates smiles.
“I felt something was off. And, I served as a character witness in the International Criminal Court, where… Eventually, after little evidence, we were able to not only have this gorgeous artist freed- but, I pulled some strings…”
“And I am now living in Denver.” Bates responds, holding Apocalyptica’s hand.
“What a shocking story.” Yasmin smiles. “And Apocalyptica, I must ask- are you two…?”
“We live literally across the street from each other.” Apocalyptica smiles.
The two grin.
“Now next up! She was one of our famous RETURNEES- Ms Cleo Mertoris, who won her first challenge- then proceeded to go home. Cleo, how did you feel about your journey?”
“I think… I should’ve gone much further than I did, to be honest.” Cleo shrugs.
“Girl...” Severa stares at Cleo for a few seconds. “You deserve exactly what you got- because you weren’t talented enough to survive a lipsync.”
“Not Miss ‘Double Sashay’ talking.” Cleo gasps. “At least I could pay for my tits myself, and not resort to sugar daddies huh Sevvie… Fucking bitch!” In a flash, Cleo, angrily standing, throws her drink onto Severa, who yelps.
In a flash, Yasmin tries to pull Cleo away from Severa, but Cleo does her best to claw at Severa.
“The fuck?” Jupiter yells.
“Don’t fucking call me Sevvie ever again!” Severa yells, scrubbing at her ruined dress and crying while subtly drinking the cocktail on her face.
“I’ll call you whatever I fucking want! Coming for my fucking gig!” Cleo shrieks.
“Let’s stop this-” Yasmin raises her hand.
Cleo spits at Severa. “Fuck you, fucking whore. You only transitioned to copy me! I MADE YOU! I-”
“WE’RE GOING TO ANOTHER BREAK!” Yasmin yells.
~
Severa tries to shake cocktail out of her wet wig.
Lupe covers her mouth with one hand. Kaia is laughing.
Nymphe suddenly stands and aggressively wrings out Severa’s wig, as Severa winces.
“Well!” Yasmin says sharply. “Are you okay, Severa?”
“I’m fine.” Severa huffs, bent over as Nymphe wrings her wig out. “I started my transition because, since the season aired, I came to terms with a lot about myself. Including how some of my behavior on the season was…rash. I’ve definitely been hiding from this moment. And Cleo has nothing to do with it.”
Lupe apologetically speaks up. “Pienso que, Severa, that Cleo might just be jealous of you.”
“You know it, mami.” Severa sighs. “I also really want to express some sincere apologies to you.”
Lupe looks startled.
“I think that with our time on the show, I was often jealous of you. Unlike me, or Cleo, or Kaia, you have been confidently living in your womanhood for a long time. I’ve followed you for a long time…and I fucked up.” Severa nods. “I am sorry.”
“I accept your apology, darling.” Lupe smiles. “It’s all I ever needed.”
“Now, these two were our OTHER, non finalist returnees, and both have… wild journeys.” Yasmin smiles.
“Non finalist.” Princesita frowns.
“You did good, Mami.” Lupe smiles. “I know it was hard…”
“I lip synced- a lot.” Princesita nods. “And it was hard.” Princesita begins to tear up. “Because, I believed I could do better, you know?”
Magenta holds Princesita’s hand.
“But- you must keep going. You can never push yourself too far, and maybe this wasn’t my journey. I think… I think I've accepted that now.” Princesita sighs.
“Regardless of how it ends, know that you should be proud of yourself, girl.” Kaia shrugs. “Like, we can’t all win.”
“Like me.” Starzanne jokes.
Nobody laughs.
“Well, turning to you, Starzanne, you had a controversial moment this season, in your makeover moment….” Starzanne turns. “How did it feel, watching it back?”
“I feel bad.” Starzanne closes her eyes. “And… I’m learning, I’m working on what I know, how to do it better, how to…” Starzanne sighs. “Do more than what I did, and truly, I feel shame.”
“I kinda think it’s bullshit.” Severa looks at Starzanne. “Because I think you knew better.”
Ambrose and Briar nod in agreement.
“HOWEVER…” Severa shrugs. “Good for you.”
Starzanne pouts, before nodding. “I aim to really deliver, I p-promise.”
The others look uncertain.
Bates sighs. “As the Middle Eastern refugee here, I can’t speak for Mohammed, who it’s obvious you really hurt and mistreated…and I hope he never has to see or work with you again. Because I hope you do learn, Starzanne. But also know the work is on you, not people of color.”
Severa gulps.
“Moving onto a power couple, or power ex-couple, this season. Briar and Ambrose…”
Jupiter woofs.
“How are we going since the season?” Yasmin asks.
“We’ve reconciled.” Ambrose looks at Briar with a knowing glance.
“I think both of us felt intense pressure this season.” Briar nods. “We both wanted to exist separate, but were so intrinsically tied to each other…”
“Ultimately I did think it led to our failure.” Ambrose sighs. “And- that’s fair, because it was a lesson to learn.”
“The lesson, being?”
“We are powerful- together.” Ambrose smiles, holding hands. “But, we believe it’s important to make space.”
“So, where does that mean for you now?” Yasmin asks. “The both of you.”
The two look at each other.
“We’re creating space, yet, collaborating.” Ambrose nods. “And-”
“They’re fucking again, BUT not doing duo gigs. Only attending gigs together.” Magenta chuckles.
Everyone gasps.
“Well… true.” Briar shrugs.
“Now, finally- the shocking moment… right before the semi final.” Yasmin nods. “Let’s look.”
~
I’ve made my decision.
Jupiter Sterling, Shantay you stay.
“Thank you.” Jupiter exhales. “Thank you.”
Severa closes her eyes, whispering to herself. “Severa, shantay…”
Severa and Magenta Leigh Simmons…
The others look on.
Thank you for being here, and doing great work this season. Now, I must say… sashay away.
“Damn!” Magenta yells, as Chronologica chuckles.
Everyone in the back of the stage look flabbergasted.
“No, thank you for this.” Magenta bows.
Severa looks at the judges for a split second, before walking off without a word.
“...Damn!” Magenta says again, as the others laugh. “I’m strutting off with GRACE.”
Magenta raises her hands in the air, as she walks off with a cheer.
~
“First, you- Severa, how are you feeling with time?” Yasmin asks.
“I feel as if that’s a different girl. Kinda. She’s thinking she’s giving nothing, not caring- but she cares too much, she’s lost that war. I think of myself as effortlessly fierce- but I did get stressed. I wish I… walked off and stomped the stage.” Severa sighs. “Instead of that.”
“And that’s okay, because we all- get there, sometimes.” Princesita says. “It’s about what you do next.”
“I’m going to win, girl.” Severa jokes. “They gotta make another All Stars so this diva can take the title.”
Everyone chuckles.
“Magenta, how did you feel, about being the other half?”
“I am happy, because if I’m being damn honest, I didn’t expect to make it this far!” Magenta laughs. “And I was me the whole damn time.”
“I love you for being you.” Jupiter adds. “You’re real, Ms Simmons. We honor that.”
“And not everyone can say that.” Nymphe smirks.
Apocalyptica grips Bates' hands.
“Now, it’s time for us to celebrate… some titles.” Yasmin smiles. “First, our GOLD BOOT title of the Season- ugliest outfit. Winner of a $5000 grand prize….”
…
Starzanne Stripes and September Remembers arrive in what else, but red, white, and blue. September looks patchy- his face is painted red, white and blue, in an attempt to cover his beard. Starzanne and September are both wearing fringe dresses that look straight out of a car wash, and it’s the epitome of… awkward.
“Starzanne!”
Starzanne chuckles, grabbing the trophy.
“Anything to say, Starzanne?”
“I am now wearing a lot LESS red, white and blue.” Starzanne nods.
The others awkwardly chuckle.
“Now, our title of SHADE- The Shadiest C.U.N.T this season.” Yasmin smiles. “Can I have a drumroll?”
“Cleo?” Severa looks over at the empty seat laughing.
“SEVERA!” Yasmin cheers. “Condragulations, you’ve won $10,000!”
Severa chuckles, grabbing the sash. “Thank you,I’d like to thank Cleo, Alcohol, and the rest of you for being too boring to get confessionals!”
Lupe laughs dramatically.
“I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m not!”
Everyone laughs.
….
“Finally, MY successor.” Yasmin smiles. “This year, the Congenial title will win $20,000, sponsored by Virtue Beauty.”
Everyone looks excitedly.
“The Winner is… MAGENTA LEIGH SIMMONS!” Yasmin cheers, as everyone starts clapping.
“Yes, yes!” Magenta cheers, as Yasmin puts the sash on her.
“Do you have anything to say, my Queen?”
“I-” Magenta smiles. “Damn.”
Everyone cheers.
“She’s finally out of things to say everybody!” Kaia laughs.
“Ugh…” Apocalyptica whimpers, wiping her eyes, as the others look over.
“Popsicle, are you okay?” Lupe asks.
“I’m- I’m fine.” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just- am really happy for Magenta.”
Magenta smiles.
“Bullshit.” Nymphe looks over.
The room is quiet.
“You expected this win, and again, you’re inauthentic, you’re lying, and you’re not owning up to when you want something.” Nymphe responds.
“I-” Apocalyptica tears up, holding onto Bates. “I-”
“I do have a question to ask, actually, as the crowned Ms SHADE.” Severa smirks. “Ms, Popsicle- we noticed your lack of presence at the crowning. You weren’t at any of the cast parties we held to celebrate or any of the events we planned, so what’s really up?”
Nymphe looks over.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t feel up to it. I was a bit sad, and I really did want to be there- but I-I felt physically ill, and…”
“Bullshit, again.” Severa rolls her eyes.
“Alright, you guys can have your opinions on everyone’s actions, but we don’t need to gang up on her.” Bates says, raising their voice a little..
“I don’t know what any of you mean…” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just-”
“You wanted to win, so you’re bitter. You kept denying it- but clearly, you positioned yourself in a way to do well. And you lost. So, why not own up to it?” Nymphe asks.
“Ugh, Can you go fuck yourself?” Apocalyptica snaps.
“Woah.” Magenta says.
Everyone looks spooked.
“Popsicle… You don’t have to acknowledge them…” Bates whispers.
“Of course I wanted to win.” Apocalyptica exclaims loudly. “I wanted to prove alt drag, to prove myself, and I don’t think that trying to be nice while doing so is a sin. ” Apocalyptica says. “LIKE-”
“Because you weren’t being real.” Severa looks at Apocalyptica. “Not the sweet girl who always happens to copy others.”
“I- You can think whatever you want. I…Actually I’m not going to continue to engage with this narrative.” Apocalyptica stutters as she turns to hold onto Bates.
“If you owned being unoriginal, maybe you’d have won.” Nymphe shrugs.
“Okay hold up- I’m mad she didn’t show up to our get togethers either but unoriginal?” Kaia inserts herself into the conversation. “We all get inspired and learn and take notes from others, like that’s the point of drag families, Delilah taught me so much, does that make me unoriginal? Have none of us ever felt inspired after seeing a good drag show or look?”
“I learned a lot from everyone in my short time here, my drag has changed a lot from all of you.” Madame Maine smiles.
“Girl, there’s a difference between being inspired and trying to steal my signature move the week after I leave.” Severa turns back at Kaia and Madame Maine.
“And were you the first to ever do that move? You came up with it with absolutely no influence from anyone else.” Apocalyptica bites.
“I don’t remember getting any credit or even a shoutout.” Severa stares at Popsicle.
“Do you give credits to who helped teach you how to dip every time you do it?” Apocalyptica retorts. “Whatever, i'm just so over this conversation.”
“Cool.” Nymphe bluntly states.
Apocalyptica rolls her eyes. “Cool.”
A couple of seconds pass of silence.
“Well, thank you all for a lovely season.” Yasmin smiles breaking the tension. “Now, before we go… Here's a sneak peak of SEASON 6 of Chronlogica’s DRAG RACE, coming soon!”
~
This has been… magic.
“It sure has.” Nymphe nods, sipping her pink tea. “But the magic… lives on and continues, as does the journey of the forest. It is… eternal.”
It's magic, you know…
Thirteen figures flash, as someone grabs a potion labeled ‘IMMUNITY’.
2024.05.01 19:00 doctorgecko Respect Molly Millions (Sprawl Trilogy)
“Anybody any good at what they do, that’s what they are, right? You gotta jack, I gotta tussle.”
Molly Millions
Molly Millions is a street samurai, a heavily augmented woman willing to perform almost any kind of job for money and the sheer thrill of it. Throughout her time wandering the cities of Earth, Molly has taken up or been forced into a whole variety of odd jobs, from protecting a data courier from a yakuza assassin, to helping to hack into an AI on a space station, to being blackmailed into helping with the abduction of a world famous Sim star. Molly is described as a woman with short dark hair and black leather, as well as mirrored shades enclosing her eyes. She is noted to be truly happiest when she is in a life or death struggle, and will not hesitate to kill an enemy (and depending on who that enemy is, she might enjoy hurting them in the process). That said she's not without a more caring side, even it's buried all of the metal.Index
- Johnny Mnemonic: A short story and her first appearance
- Neuromancer: Takes place an undisclosed number of years after Johnny Mnemonic
- Mona Lisa Overdrive: Takes place about fifteen years after Neuromancer.
- Note that for most of the book Molly goes by the alias of Sally Shears, but it's explicitly the same person
Fletchette Pistol
General- Gun
- Darts
- Darts are implied to move at supersonic speed
- Darts are microscopic and capable of drilling through a person's eye
- Able to switch between different magazines for different types of darts
- Has a type of fletchette that detonates immediately if it strikes something hard, or after ten seconds if it strikes something soft (such as a person's body)
- A single dart kills a man and produces a large blood splatter with a shot to the throat, causing the man's body to fall back on and collapse a steel catwalk suffering metal fatigue (though it had been noted how rickity and fragile this catwalk was)
- A single shot removes most of a man's middle finger and sends shards of rock flying past Case despite him being about 10 meters away
- Stuns a man by detonating a fletchette 18 centimeters from his skull
- Erases a man's face with a cloud of microscopic explosions, before he can stab Case
- Creates three quick explosions
- A series of explosive rounds to the head and torso leave no remains of a corpse
- Puts a dart through Ashpool's eye, killing him almost immediatly beyond the ability of a resurrection crew to save him, with the dart being described as shellfish toxin
- Knocks out Pophyre in seconds with a single dart, despite Porphyre being noted as a very large and strong man.
- Drugs Riviera with a toxin-fletchette
- States she has a dart that can give a person cancer several months after being shot
Augmentations
Finger Blades- General
- On Humans
- Other
- Molly has mirrored lenses surgically inlayed over her eyes made of low temp isotropic carbons
- Has microchannel image-amps that let her see in the dark by converting photons into a pulse of electrons, with the switch for it being in her teeth
- Has a readout chip on her optic nerve to display the time directly on to said nerve in her left peripheral field
- Had her nervous system jacked to increase her reflexes
- Has a broadcast rig implanted that allows Case in the matrix to see out of her eyes and experiences all of her senses (though the connection is only one way)
- Used to have a cut-out-chip that let others program her body to do whatever they wanted while she had no conscious memory of it, though her other implants interfered with it somewhat
- Her tear ducts are rerouted to her mouth, forcing her to spit instead of cry
Physicals
Strength- Sends a man flying through a cheap door and into the opposite wall, with it being implied she threw him
- Causes a man to double over with a blow to the solar plexus, and then knocks him out by slamming his head against a wall
- Kicks a small display unit into a wall
- Disables a thief with a kick to the knee, causing him to collapse
- Reactions
- Case watching the world through her eyes compares it to a tape played at half speed. She throws a grenade before a diving man can break the water, turns to fire several rounds into Ashpool, and then turns the gun towards 3Jane just as the grenade detonates
- Dodges a monomolecular wire from an assassin. Said assassin could slice a man in three before anyone could react (or any blood could spill), and dodge a point blank blast from a hidden 12 gauge shotgun
- Casually dodges a swipe from a man, cuts his tendon, and steels an item from his grip without anyone realizing
- Lowers her gun before Case has time to realize that what he's seeing is a recording
- Dodges through traffic, pulling Kumiko out of the way of a car and kicking it as it goes by
- Movement
- Her finger moves like a blur to slice a man's jacket
- Crosses a room in three strides and quickly grabs Mona
- Kicks a thief and steals the bag he's holding before he can hit the ground
- Case is shocked by how fast she can move, with her cutting through a plastic sheet and moving through it before he could even process that it had been cut
- Has Case at her mercy before he can process it, with him feeling like she had attacked him before he had even gotten her door open
- Goes down a rope like a squirrel, barely even seeming to touch it
- Has her leg broken in a fight against three security guards that breaks a fiberglass shockstave, and continues on with the mission
- Hit by a neural disruptor that causes her to lose all control of herself and slam her head against a door. This knocks the wind out of her, but she slowly gets up soon after
- Has a glass slammed hard into her left lens while she's already in bad shape, smashing one of said lenses. This knocks her unconscious, but she has no concussion or permanent damage
- Survived an opponent splitting her torso open during a prize fight, leaving a huge scare along her chest
- Maneuvers around a shifting floor while engaging an assassin, resulting in him cutting his own hand off with his own weapon. Though she later states her win was more luck than anything
- Takes out a security guard off screen who was wielding nunchucks, with someone describing her as cutting them
- Takes on and defeats three security guards at once, though has her leg broken in the process. Case assumes that they had been killed
- Subdues Peter Riviera, despite him creating powerful illusions with his implants to throw off attackers, with her stating she had him in her sights the moment he stepped out of the door
- Tells Riviera she can hurt him really badly without killing him, and would enjoy doing so
- Acted as a prize fighter in the augmented featherweight division for several bloody matches
- Disables a thief with a kick to the knee and pivots to retrieve the bag he stole before he can hit the ground, with Kimiko comparing her to a boxer
- Mona observes that while Molly isn't that strong, she knows exactly how to throw weight around
Other Equipment
Polycarbon Suit- Possesses a polycarbon suit that is capable of changing its coloration to camouflage with whatever is around it
- A man uses the same type of suit seemingly vanishes against a wall
- The arms and knees of the suit change to match the girders she's suspended against
- Camouflages herself against a steel wall
- Camouflages itself with the ground even after she cuts it off her body
- [Limit] These types of suits are unable to fully handle overly complex imagery behind them
- Throws a grenade described as a core of high explosives surrounded by 10 meters of brittle steel wire
- Wears a pullover Case suspects is bulletproof
- Wears what Mona suspects is armor (though Mona is admittedly not the most reliable narrator due to not understanding much)
- Injects herself with endorphins to counteract the pain of a broken leg, with Case noting she could walk on bloody stumps with enough of them in her system
- Places a derm on a man's neck to keep him unconcious
- Poisons Riviera's drugs with a chemical that causes conditions like Parkinsons, causing him to lose all control of his muscles
- Has various pieces of equipment to secure a room
- Uses a blackbox to hack into an elevator
- Carries around several lockpicks, and uses one pick open an old door without even looking
- Covers Angie's seatbelt in a kind of green plastic to keep her in place
Misc
Physical- Described as having the body of a gymnast
- When passing through a crowd it seems like she's constantly about to collide with someone, only for them to melt out of the way at the last moment
- Even while injured and packing a bag, doesn't make any wasted motions
- Implied to have performed the surgery on Johnny to change his face
- Able to fieldstrip her fletchette pistol without even having to look at it
- Intimidates multiple cab drivers
- Does something to Prior to cause him a lot of pain and make him give up information
- Bypasses the console of a helicopter to allow her to fly it
- Negotiates with AI to erase her past in exchange for getting Angie Mitchell together with the Aleph
- Purposefully travels in an extremely confusing way through London in order to ensure she isn't followed, just because she enjoys doing so
- Has several different identities and passports
"Wanna be my fucking self for a change"
2024.04.28 17:44 Starks-Technology My AI-Powered trading platform combines value investing with algorithmic trading
Hello!
My name is Austin. Since I started my MS in software engineering at Carnegie Mellon, I've been passionate about algorithmic trading. Over the years, I've worked on (and released) and open-source algorithmic trading platform called NextTrade.
When working on NextTrade, I made a few critical mistakes. While I won't go over them in detail, these mistakes range from:
I wanted to share my thoughts on making NexusTrade a freemium app. I think that by it being free-to-try, it can encourage the skeptics to actually try it out and see their results. However, it's also not cheap to host this platform, and I need to strike a balance between usefulness and cost-effectiveness.
My full thoughts are here. I'm really curious to get some feedback on how algorithmic trading can be applied to value investing, and what particular features are you looking out for in such a platform.
submitted by Starks-Technology to ValueInvesting [link] [comments]
My name is Austin. Since I started my MS in software engineering at Carnegie Mellon, I've been passionate about algorithmic trading. Over the years, I've worked on (and released) and open-source algorithmic trading platform called NextTrade.
When working on NextTrade, I made a few critical mistakes. While I won't go over them in detail, these mistakes range from:
- Making NextTrade too slow
- Not making it configurable enough
- Making it far too niche
- Algorithmic trading using fundamental data
- AI-Powered Stock Screener
- More traditional, UI-Based Simple stock screener
I wanted to share my thoughts on making NexusTrade a freemium app. I think that by it being free-to-try, it can encourage the skeptics to actually try it out and see their results. However, it's also not cheap to host this platform, and I need to strike a balance between usefulness and cost-effectiveness.
My full thoughts are here. I'm really curious to get some feedback on how algorithmic trading can be applied to value investing, and what particular features are you looking out for in such a platform.
2024.04.25 11:07 tosernameschescksout Gadgets
No advertising allowed, so no links in discussion.
I've been a guard for about a year now, and I'm slowly building a collection of gadgets that I really like. I want to share, get feedback, and know what gadgets you're using for uniform and car.
Magnetic tipped USB cables. At first, I hated them. I learned you got to keep them clean with a fine toothed tweezer. Now I love them. I can charge all of my stuff off of a portable battery or in my car, and if I need to quickly grab something, the cables harmlessly break away. I.e. they're fast, and protect your charging ports.
Hot/Cold bag. I got a big thermal bag from a grocery store and was surprised to see that they actually work really well. I used a few 2L soft drink bottles that were half filled with ice. Still had ice three days later. The interior was cool enough I could trust it to keep my sandwich ready to eat. Rather than mylar, this one used a thin layer of foam. I like the fact that bags are collapsible so I can stuff one anywhere.
Carabiner clips. I keep a bunch around for 'whatever' because you'll always find a use. Right now, most of mine are helping with cable management because I have 6 USB cables in the car. This lets me pull them through without snagging.
Zip ties: From upper handles to sun visor clips and AC vents, there's a lot of points to create a loop in your car. With zip ties and clips, you can have a lot of places to attach equipment and it will all be fast grab and pretty organized.
My flashlight is zip tied to a swiveling magnet, and I have another magnet zip tied to my sun visor and another in my pocket. The result is a magnetic flash light. No holster needed. It's a slightly less secure solution, but convenient.
Second phone: I do documentation and patrol navigation on one phone, and keep a work app open on my other phone. Having two means much less app switching, better focus, faster interactions. Solid investment. Even a shitty phone will work well as a secondary device for something like maps.
USB charging dock: I have a lot of devices to keep charged, so I got a cigarette adaptor unit that has 6 lines out just for charging purposes.
nano tape: I love this stuff. It's re-usable if you clean it, and it's like a strong holding tape that won't mess up plastic surfaces. I use it in my car to mount stuff like my charging dock into an area of the interior that's out of the way.
Binder clips: Before I had a zippered high visibility vest, it was always blowing open. I'd clip my vest to my coat. Binder clips are great for cable management, and clipping stuff to different parts of uniform or car. E.g. AC vents. I can clip them onto my visors after making zip tie loops on the visors.
Spray bottle + isopropyl alcohol: I use this mostly for sanitation. I want to wash my hands before eating, but I'm a guard. I'm usually away from running water and soap. It's also an effective de-icer in the winter.
Grabby stick: You might have have seen a wheelchair bound person use these to grab a can in the grocery store. I use them when I'm cleaning up a site so that I don't have to touch with my hands. Of course, a box of gloves is also an essential investment.
Flip down shades for your prescription glasses. Life saver.
brush head (just the head part from a cheap broom set. Excellent for cleaning the car)
High vis security vest (Get one with a zipper and D-rings to accommodate a few pieces of equipment. A lot of employers just pass out cheap velcro vests... You'll grow to hate that type.)
wired headset: Just a cheap unit with a boom mic. I do a lot of voice to text dictation and this is better than relying on your phones built in microphone.
Light bars: These make you look like serious business if you leave them on while guarding a site. I've seen guards that don't even turn on their headlights. From a distance though, even headlights don't look like security. A magnetic sign on the side won't stand out, but a light show stands out really well.
Body cam: Fiddling with a phone to record something is way too slow and cumbersome. It's nice to be able to tap a button and know that you're getting a video with audio that shows that any interaction is being done professionally without breaking any rules. People will claim you're the devil. This protects you from lawsuits and headaches. A quick recording is handy for those instances when you have less than five seconds to call out a license place for later transcription. That's not happening with your phone.
Radio: I always work alone, most of us do, but a radio makes it look like you're not. Radios are rare, but you might occasionally interface with someone else that can communicate quick/easy that way.
security badge: Drop a few bucks, look like you have a small amount of authority. People might be more cooperative with requests.
Inverter: Lets you run small appliances in the field. I use a 5G home internet router so that my phones have fast and unmetered data. Sometimes I take my laptop into the field so I can do mobile computing. I know one guy who makes coffee. Some day, I'll upgrade my inverter and get a second battery with an isolator so that I can run a toaster oven for cooking.
Headrest hooks: Really convenient for kitting out your car with other equipment. One of my headrests has a bungee cord going around it which mounts paper towels. I also have ziptie loops on my headrests so I can hook in equipment.
Rain guards: Lets you crack windows without letting the rain in. I'm always cracked so I can hear better.
Cigarettes: Keep up to 1 mo. Handy de-escalation tool. Invite someone to have a smoke... over there, that way.
Tool box: I got a cheap plastic tool box that I load up with actual silverware and a few tools. Beats plastic cutlery.
Kevlar shoelaces
Dash board sticky stiction pad: Keeps your sunglasses and stuff in place.
Backpack. I only ever needed it once, but it was nice being able to carry my gear a mile that way, away from everything, no multiple trips needed.
USB battery bank: Keep your phones going without needing to recharge at a wall or car.
jumper cables. Eventually you or a coworker will drain a battery and need a jump.
Melatonin and zzzquil: Sleep hygeine.
Magnetic security decal: Helps your car act as a deterrent as well as showing police that you're you.
panoramic rear view mirror: See way more. Better driving, better observation.
phone mounts: Try everything. I like magnetic vent clips, but that's what works well for my cabin layout. Having your phone held is huge for navigation.
car ceiling cargo net
conspicuity tape: I'm amazed more guards don't have this on their cars. It really works to not only make you stand out, but make your vehicle look like it shouldn't be tailgated too closely.
USB on the go adaptor or hub: Lets you plug a keyboard and mouse for your phone.
Lock lubricant. Both graphite and WD40 aren't suitable for outdoor locks. Do some internet sleuthing and you'll see people saying, "My locksmith only uses ...." and that's what you buy. My company deals with dozens of padlocks and lube is really helpful to have.
Toilet paper: Stop using whatever it in the portapotties, it sucks.
submitted by tosernameschescksout to securityguards [link] [comments]
I've been a guard for about a year now, and I'm slowly building a collection of gadgets that I really like. I want to share, get feedback, and know what gadgets you're using for uniform and car.
Magnetic tipped USB cables. At first, I hated them. I learned you got to keep them clean with a fine toothed tweezer. Now I love them. I can charge all of my stuff off of a portable battery or in my car, and if I need to quickly grab something, the cables harmlessly break away. I.e. they're fast, and protect your charging ports.
Hot/Cold bag. I got a big thermal bag from a grocery store and was surprised to see that they actually work really well. I used a few 2L soft drink bottles that were half filled with ice. Still had ice three days later. The interior was cool enough I could trust it to keep my sandwich ready to eat. Rather than mylar, this one used a thin layer of foam. I like the fact that bags are collapsible so I can stuff one anywhere.
Carabiner clips. I keep a bunch around for 'whatever' because you'll always find a use. Right now, most of mine are helping with cable management because I have 6 USB cables in the car. This lets me pull them through without snagging.
Zip ties: From upper handles to sun visor clips and AC vents, there's a lot of points to create a loop in your car. With zip ties and clips, you can have a lot of places to attach equipment and it will all be fast grab and pretty organized.
My flashlight is zip tied to a swiveling magnet, and I have another magnet zip tied to my sun visor and another in my pocket. The result is a magnetic flash light. No holster needed. It's a slightly less secure solution, but convenient.
Second phone: I do documentation and patrol navigation on one phone, and keep a work app open on my other phone. Having two means much less app switching, better focus, faster interactions. Solid investment. Even a shitty phone will work well as a secondary device for something like maps.
USB charging dock: I have a lot of devices to keep charged, so I got a cigarette adaptor unit that has 6 lines out just for charging purposes.
nano tape: I love this stuff. It's re-usable if you clean it, and it's like a strong holding tape that won't mess up plastic surfaces. I use it in my car to mount stuff like my charging dock into an area of the interior that's out of the way.
Binder clips: Before I had a zippered high visibility vest, it was always blowing open. I'd clip my vest to my coat. Binder clips are great for cable management, and clipping stuff to different parts of uniform or car. E.g. AC vents. I can clip them onto my visors after making zip tie loops on the visors.
Spray bottle + isopropyl alcohol: I use this mostly for sanitation. I want to wash my hands before eating, but I'm a guard. I'm usually away from running water and soap. It's also an effective de-icer in the winter.
Grabby stick: You might have have seen a wheelchair bound person use these to grab a can in the grocery store. I use them when I'm cleaning up a site so that I don't have to touch with my hands. Of course, a box of gloves is also an essential investment.
Flip down shades for your prescription glasses. Life saver.
brush head (just the head part from a cheap broom set. Excellent for cleaning the car)
High vis security vest (Get one with a zipper and D-rings to accommodate a few pieces of equipment. A lot of employers just pass out cheap velcro vests... You'll grow to hate that type.)
wired headset: Just a cheap unit with a boom mic. I do a lot of voice to text dictation and this is better than relying on your phones built in microphone.
Light bars: These make you look like serious business if you leave them on while guarding a site. I've seen guards that don't even turn on their headlights. From a distance though, even headlights don't look like security. A magnetic sign on the side won't stand out, but a light show stands out really well.
Body cam: Fiddling with a phone to record something is way too slow and cumbersome. It's nice to be able to tap a button and know that you're getting a video with audio that shows that any interaction is being done professionally without breaking any rules. People will claim you're the devil. This protects you from lawsuits and headaches. A quick recording is handy for those instances when you have less than five seconds to call out a license place for later transcription. That's not happening with your phone.
Radio: I always work alone, most of us do, but a radio makes it look like you're not. Radios are rare, but you might occasionally interface with someone else that can communicate quick/easy that way.
security badge: Drop a few bucks, look like you have a small amount of authority. People might be more cooperative with requests.
Inverter: Lets you run small appliances in the field. I use a 5G home internet router so that my phones have fast and unmetered data. Sometimes I take my laptop into the field so I can do mobile computing. I know one guy who makes coffee. Some day, I'll upgrade my inverter and get a second battery with an isolator so that I can run a toaster oven for cooking.
Headrest hooks: Really convenient for kitting out your car with other equipment. One of my headrests has a bungee cord going around it which mounts paper towels. I also have ziptie loops on my headrests so I can hook in equipment.
Rain guards: Lets you crack windows without letting the rain in. I'm always cracked so I can hear better.
Cigarettes: Keep up to 1 mo. Handy de-escalation tool. Invite someone to have a smoke... over there, that way.
Tool box: I got a cheap plastic tool box that I load up with actual silverware and a few tools. Beats plastic cutlery.
Kevlar shoelaces
Dash board sticky stiction pad: Keeps your sunglasses and stuff in place.
Backpack. I only ever needed it once, but it was nice being able to carry my gear a mile that way, away from everything, no multiple trips needed.
USB battery bank: Keep your phones going without needing to recharge at a wall or car.
jumper cables. Eventually you or a coworker will drain a battery and need a jump.
Melatonin and zzzquil: Sleep hygeine.
Magnetic security decal: Helps your car act as a deterrent as well as showing police that you're you.
panoramic rear view mirror: See way more. Better driving, better observation.
phone mounts: Try everything. I like magnetic vent clips, but that's what works well for my cabin layout. Having your phone held is huge for navigation.
car ceiling cargo net
conspicuity tape: I'm amazed more guards don't have this on their cars. It really works to not only make you stand out, but make your vehicle look like it shouldn't be tailgated too closely.
USB on the go adaptor or hub: Lets you plug a keyboard and mouse for your phone.
Lock lubricant. Both graphite and WD40 aren't suitable for outdoor locks. Do some internet sleuthing and you'll see people saying, "My locksmith only uses ...." and that's what you buy. My company deals with dozens of padlocks and lube is really helpful to have.
Toilet paper: Stop using whatever it in the portapotties, it sucks.
2024.04.22 07:13 Alawi27 Why Joe is charismatic
Edit: A long read, but feel free to scroll to the sections you're interested in.
Components of charisma: presence, confidence, amiability.
In general:
It means, "how do you make people feel, in relation to you? The most important person in the room? Do they have your undivided attention? How do they feel about their presence with you?"
Joe tends to invite self-disclosure. because makes people feel confident enough to self-disclose, and people often do, Joe often has a magnetic presence in the room
submitted by Alawi27 to YouOnLifetime [link] [comments]
Components of charisma: presence, confidence, amiability.
In general:
- In 'How to Make Friends and Influence People', Dale Carnegie specifically lists "never be heard complaining". Tell me, when does Joe complain to others? As such, nobody ever feels like they're oversharing or regretting talking about their feelings with Joe.
It means, "how do you make people feel, in relation to you? The most important person in the room? Do they have your undivided attention? How do they feel about their presence with you?"
Joe tends to invite self-disclosure. because makes people feel confident enough to self-disclose, and people often do, Joe often has a magnetic presence in the room
- Joe (courtesy of Penn Badgley) has a strong presence. Whilst immensely disturbed, Joe doesn't come across as a creep and isn't interesting in cheap hook-ups; he doesn't seem to be a sexual person, as he wants intimacy. As such, women do not feel sexually threatened (a creep is someone who makes a woman feel sexually insecure).
- Ellie immediately takes a liking to Joe, because he expresses polite dismay when she asks if he has a girlfriend; he is interested in being her "big brother" and looking after her.
- Ellie seems to - perhaps deliberately - test any potential sexual interest in her by sticking her foot in front of him, whilst they were both alone, and suggestively stating, "Blow". Joe doesn't seem interested in doing so whatsoever, but neither does he admonish her; he, in that 'older brother' vibe, tilts his head in mock-disapproval and says, "Ellie...". Ellie cracks up and dismisses it as a joke.
- She perhaps does so again, blatantly ask him, "Do you wanna fuck me, William?" Even the actress seems to be struggling to keep a straight face.
- It's safe to say that Ellie completely feels secure in Joe's presence; constantly smiling, constantly recommending things for him, constantly asking about his personal life and details. That's not something I picture happening if he had 'failed' the aforementioned things, or indicated any capacity for casual sexual interest in any of the Alves sisters.
- Despite blatant hostility towards him, Delilah repeatedly finds herself conversation with Joe, even opening up about her sexual assault by Henderson. Remember, that was only their third conversation. They met as tenants, they met during the party, and they talked about Henderson later.
- Ellie immediately takes a liking to Joe, because he expresses polite dismay when she asks if he has a girlfriend; he is interested in being her "big brother" and looking after her.
- Joe never loses his cool, and therefore doesn't create a nervous sense of anxiety or unease. Think about when he was talking to 'Will Bettelheim' in the cage. Imagine if you were in Joe's shoes; you'd be nervous whilst wanting to figure out what to do. It wouldn't invite the level of calm or self-disclosure that 'Will' does with Joe, and eventually won over Joe to let him out.
- Joe keeps steady eye contact. Joe's body language is sedate, not giving off an anxious air. He never snaps at other people, therefore keeping things on a calm foot. This is best illustrated when Forty straight-up kidnaps him, and despite considering bludgeoning him to death - something many viewers outright cheered him on for - he said that Forty is "nuts", as opposed to screaming at him for doing something so fucking hare-brained.
- Would you feel at ease with someone who always averted eye-contact, is constantly nervous, constantly shifting his posture?
- Joe is even listening to Delilah ramble on - humorously monologuing how few fucks he gives, despite Delilah pointing the same out to him earlier - whilst he has a severed digit.
- As someone with chronic anxiety, I really can't help but admire Joe about this. How about you?
- Related to what I said above, Joe encourages everybody to talk about themselves because he never judges or interrupts or turns the conversation about himself.
- At no point does he make Ellie feel regretful for talking about herself with him; when Ellie discloses that she is sneaking off to see Henderson, Joe (in the way that an older sibling or 'cool older friend' would, widens his eyes and smiles and tilts his head, as if to say, "seriously?" Ellie can't help but smirk at that.
- Joe says to Delilah, after her telling him off for (mistakenly thinking he is) fanboy-ing over Henderson, he "can't help but feel [he's] done something" to annoy her. Delilah, frosty with him, opens up about her own rape, and her own facial features - whether she was aware of it or not - softened. Yes, she rounded the conversation off by saying he's a "bad guy", but this strikes me more as trauma-induced hypervigilance.
- Note her body language around Joe. Despite calling him "apartment three", she turns around to face him, leans against the vending machine, swinging one leg over another. It's almost flirtatious.
- Anybody would be rightfully annoyed by Delilah constantly accusing you of being a perv, or her persistent hostility.
- Maybe that's on purpose, like being a jerk to reject intimacy, but it's clearly working. She's hostile like this with a supposedly nice guy like Joe (remember, her body language indicates she is interested in him); how is she with other people? Does Joe reproach her for this? Nope!
- He completely disarms her by noting that he feels like he's done something wrong, and she even says that he doesn't have to keep being nice, and, as we all now, "stop apologising!"
- Calvin feels insecure about 'Crime and Punishment', Forty bluntly asking "What, you thought there was a human alive who wanted to read 'Crime and Punishment'?". Joe, planting the book in front of him, self-discloses his own feelings about the book, and Calvin's eyes widen, congratulating him for making him feel that a "Russian novel is something [he'd] want to read".
- Forty loves him for this. Nobody likes Forty, and nobody wants to listen to Forty.
- Love is constantly dismissive of him, seeing his ideas as precludes for relapsing back into addiction, Calvin is deferential to him because he's the boss, his father (rightfully) thinks he's a lazy bum and flat-out says, "I don't wanna hear it, Forty".
- This is best illustrated when he meets Henderson's agent, Tina, who visibly spazzes up when Forty recognises her. Whilst pitching his idea, Tina non-synchronously says "uh-huh!" with the conversation, and asks about the ending, despite Forty meekly pointing out he hasn't talked about the beginning or middle.
- You know who does listen to Forty? Joe! Joe, correctly pegging him to be an idiot, never dismisses his ideas or says that he needs to do something else or talks about his own problems.
- Forty talks about his idea for celebrity rehab? "Let me guess, celebrity guidance counsellor turns out to be a stalker?" without a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Forty is sincerely stunned and asks if he's a writer.
- Forty asks Joe to read his story, and despite being contemptuous of it, he calls it the "g" word: "genius". Forty is practically on his tip-toes at this.
- Forty is unwashed in a kimono and loops an arm around Joe. Joe notes, but does not react to this.
- Forty even says to Joe, who is about to run away from L.A., ["let's work on my thing, and then you can do whatever the hell you wanted to do that I don't care about"]. Does Joe understandably stone-wall or shut down a guy he'll never see again, and doesn't respect? Nope. Joe lends him 30 minutes of his time.
- Love is constantly dismissive of him, seeing his ideas as precludes for relapsing back into addiction, Calvin is deferential to him because he's the boss, his father (rightfully) thinks he's a lazy bum and flat-out says, "I don't wanna hear it, Forty".
2024.04.17 05:24 TheSmogmonsterZX The Days in Our Millennia - Aftershocks - #1
The Days in Our Millennia
Stories of the Scions
Aftershocks
1
Astral Frieght stood on the ledge of a building in Shibuya. He inhaled one of his cheap cigarettes and then let it burn down a bit. He absorbed the sights and sounds, the sirens, the loud shoppers and louder car engines. He watched the trains fly by barely making a sound as they went. He was happy for the briefest time back in the realism he grew up in, even if they were just an illusion on the far edge of his Verge. Like most Scions he had long outlived his core reality’s existence and all that remained of it were his memories and his now immortal and time locked family.
“Daaaad!” A young boy called out. “The guy in red is here again!”
Astral sighed as he stepped off the roof and spread his wings. He flew in real time to his home, far closer to the center of the Verge. The Verge existed as a plane of reality untouched by the laws of reality, each section answering only to their master’s commands. Some were bountiful endless swaths of nature, some were desolate wastelands, and at least one had been made into an endless battlefield and production warehouse. Astral maintained his as a mostly flat plan save for two areas, his home which was a mirror of the home he once had and the perfect replica of Japan in his world around the year 2008 C.E. that he kept at the far end. Astral landed and his wings collapsed back into his shoulder blades and once again became little more than a large tattoo.
Astral walked through the backdoor and saw his young son, Takeru glaring up at his Scionic opposite. He walked up to his colleague and ruffled his son’s hair.
“It’s all right kid.” Astral smiled down. “P’s here for a reason, right?”
Perfection, the Scion of Chaos gave a grin filled with razor sharp teeth, but radiated no malice. He was clearly in a good mood. He nodded and chuckled before he chose to speak.
“We have a full on meeting. All hands on deck!” Perfection giggled, “I think Destiny finally figured out her plan.”
Astral blinked, the Scions had been laying low while they figured out the plans of a former member of their ranks. The former Scion of Evil had manipulated events to wrench her soul free of its connection to her powers and position as a Scion. Her former underling, Consumption, took her place and had been far more agreeable. Astral had actually lost track of how much time had passed.
“I know, it’s amazing and I get to gloat about all I found!” Perfection cackled as another smaller form plowed into his legs.
“UNCLE P!” Astral’s daughter, Ren, grabbed at Perfection’s leg. She seemed only a few years older than her brother and delighted at his presence.
“Well hello there Renny.” Perfection laughed and produced a candy bar for the girl. “Best chocolate from an unknown reality.”
“Chocolate!” Ren grabbed the bar and ran off.
“Ren...” Astral called out to his daughter.
“Thank you!” Ren shouted back.
“Your kids are so adorable...” Perfection handed another bar to Takeru.
The young boy looked up for approval from his father. Astral nodded.
“Thank you.” Takeru took it gently and went to follow his sister.
“How long...” Astral shook his head.
“Only a few hundred years.” Perfection smirked, “You know for possessing the concept of time you are shit at tracking it.”
“Yeah, and I’m still a nicotine addict.” Astral sighed and gestured for Perfection to lead on.
“Not gonna tell the wifey you’re going?” Perfection arched an eyebrow.
“Do we actually want to leave this millennium?” Astral snorted, “Love that woman, but she will take forever and give me a list of things to do.”
Perfection snorted and opened the door. The two walked into the center of the Verge, a place called the Dais Room, or simply the Dais. Despite entering from the same door, the two approached from opposite halls. Each approached their chair and sat in it. For Astral it was a simple and comfortable wooden chair with a solid back but padded back. Perfection had chosen to steal a Throne of Swords for this particular meeting, his pranks were not likely to stop anytime soon. They sat opposite each other as Astral was Order to Perfection’s Chaos. Despite this the two got along relatively well when Perfection wasn’t trying to drive people insane.
Soon the other halls lit up and the seats of the balcony began to fill. The next to arrive was the Scion of Life, he was bust programming his new cybernetic prosthesis as he took his seat on a blue glowing chair. Then it was Wraith, Scion of Death and his wife Karma, Scion of Balance, who took their seats on their simple customized leather chairs. They were the definitive power couple of the Scions. After them came the bombastic and overly excited DM, Scion of Variable, opposite of Karma he sat on a simple gamer’s chair that began to massage his back. Then Mosious, Scion of creation came down to his chair, Therten, Scion of Null soon followed and his completely alien form composed of the void of space sat in a chair of solid nothingness.
At this point the gathered Scions nodded to each other in acknowledgement and waited as the final members seemed to be taking their time. Astral himself went to light a cigarette, but received an almost literal death glare from Wraith. Astral slid the cigarette back into its package with a sheepish smile.
Then came the Scions of Darkness and Light, the twins Maven and Alteran. Each approached calmly and sat in a chair that reflected the other’s nature. The next pair to arrive were Righteousness and Corruption, or Good and Evil. Raptor, Scion of Righteousness entered first and sat on his simple throne, crafted by his former followers when he was a god. Consumption, Scion of Corruption approached and crafted a chair made of his own viscous body. Then the final two arrived, The Scion of Destiny, a crystalline being composed of all the energies and concepts of the other Scions formed at the center of the Dais and walked to its simple glass-like chair. The sound of footsteps announced the arrival of the Scion of Defiance, Alan Quain. Next to him walked his daughter and the Lesser Scion of Heroism. He sat on his steel chair and Anna sat next to him on one with a cushion.
“We are almost all here.” Destiny spoke, its voice sounding like a crystal wind chime.
“Really.” Therten looked at Anna, “Shouldn’t she be up there.”
“We can go another round about it.” Alan glared at the Scion of Null.
Destiny sighed, it appreciated its opposite in Defiance, but the newest Scion had been causing a stir since his arrival. “Therten, she is his daughter and direct subordinate, there is no reason for her to be forced to the higher levels.”
A few more Lesser-Scions, those benign tasked with a more focused or less generalized concept or idea filtered in. Many seats still remained empty.
“We are gathered.” Destiny spoke and a railing rose from the ground around the Dais, closing off access to the other aspects of the Verge.
The doors behind each Scion also sealed. Alan immediately leaned back and put his feet on the railing, receiving a glare from Destiny and Null which was promptly ignored.
Wraith stood. “Who has called this meeting Destiny?”
Destiny gestured to Mosious and Therten.
Perfection leaned forward, as did Astral. The first two Scions always got an audience when they called for one. The rest stared in awe or concern.
“Before we speak, we want the rest of you to fill us in on the situation with Atropos.” Mosious said with a gentle smile. His calm paternal appearance of an aged unknown humanoid seemed to always settle the nerves of the other Scions, this time it did not.
Consumption stood first, “We have tracked some of her essence to the outer edges of our territory.” They chuckled, Consumption was a gestalt of the victims of the original personality that had absorbed them. Now they stayed united for continued survival. “But nothing solid, just trails that end in nothingness.” Their strange voice croaked like many sickened frogs trying to escape a deadly bog, but in a unified tone.
Raptor did not stand, “I have heard nothing, she has not attacked or attempted to contact me.”
DM spoke next, “She’s plotting, we all know this and we all know who has the info we need.” He looked straight at Perfection.
“Aww, but I wanna hear what everyone else has.” Perfection chuckled.
“It’s big then.” Wraith sighed. “Perfection, is it at least worth suffering through your antics?”
Perfection seemed to mull the thought over for a moment. “Maybe let Al give what he’s got and then I’ll go.”
Alan looked at Perfection with a glare as he took his feet off the railing and stood. “Ladies...” He paused and looked at the other Scions. “How do I address the gathering?”
Destiny paused and let its gaze settle on Mosious. “I would suggest, simply as ‘Fellow Scions’?” Destiny for once seemed unsure.
“An excellent suggestion, wouldn’t you agree Wraith?” Mosious asked.
Wraith let the orbs that were his eyes settle on the smiling form of Mosious, then he slowly nodded.
“Fellow Scions.” Alan gestured to the glowing center of the Dais and it shifted to a view of the known multiverse, the Scion’s territory was outlined in series of dashes and dots across a flat surface that when pulled out to view on the whole looked like countless circles and lines against a background of other dashes and dots. “My daughter and I have spent a few centuries traveling and learning our posts. We’ve seen and heard a few things. Chief among them that Brok and Sindri, were seen in a reality not associated with them. Yes, that Brok and Sindri, we looked and found evidence that both were in fact some form of zombies.”
Anna stood up and gestured to the Dais. It changed to display recorded images.
“Thank you Anna.” Alan nodded, “Anna got to see the newscasts in one reality. I was a bit busy.”
“Doing what?” Astral asked as he looked at the image.
“Fighting Zombie Hulk.” Alan said flatly.
“Of course they went to one of those worlds.” Karma huffed.
“That’s the thing, they didn’t.” Alan explained, “They brought this plague with them.”
Anna spoke up, “We managed to remove the plague and with Ragnis’ help fixed the heroes and villains infected. Wraith restored the people.”
“They brought that...” Wraith leaned in now, “A piece of Ragnis and a piece of me...”
“What?” Therten asked.
“Atropos had a piece of my daggers embedded in her leg, essentially a piece of my being. Then she took Ragnis’ hand.” Wraith leaned back. “She’s setting herself up as some sort of undead queen.”
Perfection fabricated and rang a triangle in the middle of the air.
Wraith’s eyes betrayed his anger as he slouched in his chair.
“That’s exactly it, but also more.” Perfection said, “I can explain what I and Lachesis have found but it doesn’t matter much. She’s playing a long game and she’s snagged a second to bring to her aid.”
“Who!?” Wraith roared to life and extended his frame over the railing.
“Tyrrn.” Perfection grinned, “Yes Anna, that one. The one who you beat a few times, the one who ran to another reality to crush a different version of you. We only have some limited good news.”
The room paid rapt attention.
“In turning both the Brok and Sindri she had into mindless zombies they have lost most of their crafting capabilities. So until she can get some fresh essence of twin dwarven crafters, she can’t even make him one of whatever she is.” Perfection explained.
“An Echo.” Lachesis, Lesser Scion of Prophecy and Madness spoke up. “She is an Echo. A memory and a wound. Something powerful, but not indestructible.” She looked to the empty seats, “We must expand our understanding.”
Destiny observed and nodded. “Agreed, it is clear she means to declare a war of some sort.”
Perfection wagged his finger, “No, not a war.” He reached to his side and plucked at something invisible to most Scions. It made a shrieking sound like a glove over a cello.
“She wants to be Godzilla?” Astral asked in confusion.
“She wants an eternal fight.” Perfection said, “She wants us to always worry and when we fail, to suffer.”
Consumption snorted, “She should not have rejected her position then.”
“Agreed.” Destiny steepled their hands.
“So now we need to...” Perfection snapped his fingers, “What’s the word...”
“Recruit.” A red skinned young man called from the balcony.
“That’s the word. That’s my boy!” Perfection called to his son Chybee.
“Stop helping him.” Therten snarled.
“Bite me.” Chybee snorted, “I mean it’s not like I’m a beloved family member, oh wait...”
“So much love my boy.” Perfection smiled and made a hugging motion. Chybee slowly slid lower in his chair.
Maven stood, “Perfection, how did you find this out?”
“The strings.” Perfection smiled. “Normally the red ones are for mortals, gold for gods or other direct immortals, blinding white light for us.”
Alteran stood and leaned to listen. So did the others as Perfection put a display on the Dais image projector. Red, gold and white strings against a black background.
“She’s as black as the background isn’t she?” Anna asked with a scoff and clear anger.
“Point for our Littlest Hero.” Perfection beamed. “And there are six more we can feel forming.”
“For a total of Seven.” Destiny nodded, “One to match each pair.”
“Yeah.” Perfection nodded, “And they’re attached to a physical aspect. Like being Undead.”
“How is that physical?” Alteran asked.
“Rejection of Life and Death, forced to an eternal physical prison.” Ragnis spoke up as he pulled out a scroll from a bag at his side. “I’ve been walking among mortals again. Took a new path, studied magic of a realm similar to my original one. “She’s made herself less a concept and more, well an Echo. Something that doesn’t actually exist.”
“Undeath is not a natural concept. It’s why Ragnis and I both have reign over it.” Wraith explained, “And now we know why we’ve had difficulty with it since she was removed.”
Ragnis nodded, “I had come up with a few theories. This was pretty high on the list.”
“Lookit that.” Perfection smiled, “Ragnis gone and got S-M-R-T.”
“I will still put an axe in your head.” Ragnis grumbled.
“How did you get away with a robot hand in a magic world?” Perfection asked as he suddenly appeared next to Ragnis.
“Chaos, please not now.” Destiny sighed, audibly annoyed by the other Scion.
Perfection smiled and appeared back at his stolen throne. “Long and the short of it is, Lachesis is right, we need numbers because now we have competition.”
The room was silent for many minutes afterward as the rest contemplated the news.
Astral stood up and smacked the railing. “Then we recruit. We’ve all traveled so far and wide. We’ve all seen people we all wished we could bring into the fold. So now we do.”
Perfection chuckled. “And we got time. She’s staking out a fresh born universe.”
“Really?” Wraith blinked, “Why’s that good?”
Perfection smiled, “Moe, Therten and I made some...” He bobbed his head playfully, “...alterations to the universe.”
“Alterations such as?” Wraith asked.
“We swapped Sol for another very similar star system.” Mosious said, “Perfection even positioned it to have the same or similar star maps.”
“So she’ll be lost when she tries to find humanity.” Karma clapped happily, then let a straight emotionless face hit the next words. “Good, gives me time to scoop her eyes out...”
The room stared at the Scion of Balance in concern.
“Darling.” Wraith spoke, “Remember the chat we had.”
“I know!” Karma crossed her arms in annoyance. “Sorry.”
“What happened, Death?” Destiny asked.
“Karai and Rael were attacked not long ago. Zombies, unusually strong ones. I had to remind my wife that I would be the one to address their maker.” Wraith said, “Clearly she has already attacked, and as always she strikes at me first.”
“What about the hidden worlds?” Maven asked, “We know someone has been sneaking in.”
Perfection gave a brief innocent whistle, then laughed. “It’s safe, we’ve reinforced the barriers and glamors.”
“Good.” Destiny said, “Any internal issues we are needed for?”
Perfection shook his head. “Wraith and I have been keeping those contained.”
“What have you been keeping contained?” Wraith looked at his friend in shock.
“A villain who has stepped on everyone’s, and I mean EVERYONE’S toes.” Perfection exhaled, “It’d be really impressive if it wasn’t so sad.”
“Do we have any ideas?” Destiny asked.
“I have a few.” Wraith nodded, “I will need to restructure my current setup. And some time for that.”
Destiny nodded in approval.
“Before you all begin that.” Mosious and Therten both stood up.
“This will be our last meeting.” Therten said.
Perfection blinked and laughed, “That’s a good one!”
Wraith focused on the first Scions and stood before leaning on the railing. “Really, you’re embracing the end now?!”
Perfection blinked, “No, it’s...” He looked at Mosious and then Therten. “It’s a joke right? Therten, you can’t collect if...”
“I may loathe this existence, but Mosious and I have sensed this coming change. If there is a Seventh to be made we believe they will have the upper hand.” Therten explained.
Perfection froze as did every other Scion and Lesser-Scion.
“Our powers will be with you all. Creation and Null will be a part of all full Scions until such a time as we can be replaced.” Mosious smiled and crossed the barriers to Perfection to give him a hug. “Do not fear this change, my favorite friend. You will not be without us, we will merely be in a different form.”
“So who’s gonna lead us?” Alan shouted, “The big rock?!” He pointed at Destiny.
“We are not qualified.” Destiny glared back.
“Good to know you know that.” Alan nodded.
“Wraith.” Mosious spoke.
“I beg your pardon?” Wraith blinked in utter shock to such a degree he even forgot to cover his Irish accent.
Therten approached the Scion of Death. “Name one other Scion the others can agree to respect. Do not fear this Death, it is proof of your wisdom, courage and leadership.”
Wraith looked over at Perfection who was still trembling in shock. He nodded and looked back at Null with a glare.
“Both of you should have known better.” Wraith hissed.
“Wraith.” Mosious drifted over to the ghostly Scion. “It must be done and there is no painless way to say goodbye. You know this.”
Wraith nodded and cursed himself under his breath.
“Now, I believe we have a new adventure to head onto.” Mosious smiled as he held his arm out for Therten to join him. The Scion of Null stared for a moment before putting his own arm through the looped arm that was offered to him.
Wraith produced a shining staff and tapped it on the ground. A door opened and he gestured for the two, now former, Scions to walk through. The three passed through the door and it closed behind them.
Perfection sat back on the throne and snapped his fingers. It was replaced by a recliner and a blanket with cartoonish images of all the other Scions. The sound of landing hooves alerted him to Chybee leaping down and sitting next to him, but the Chaotic Scion was still stunned.
“I do not like this feeling.” Destiny spoke softly to no one in particular. “I feel lessened but I know I am not weaker.”
Alan sighed, “Fucking time for change, eh kid?” He looked down to his daughter who was sniffling and wiping her eyes.
Anna only nodded.
The railing in the center slid into the ground and the pathways and chairs for the Scions of Creation and Null both faded and became dark, but did not vanish. Karma approached the center and touched the Dais. It rippled and spun with a strange glow before a pulse of power rippled over all the Scions.
Astral felt a surge in his power. Fresh memories and a new sense of power rushed into him.
“What just happened?” Maven asked.
“We got a power boost.” DM smiled, then frowned. “But we lost our friends.”
“For now.” Wraith’s voice echoed as he returned from his pathway. “I will find these replacements once we are done with Atropos.” He looked at Perfection and sighed, “Chybee, take him home, I’ll be around later.”
Chybee nodded, snapped his fingers and vanished with his adoptive father.
“So how do we fix a broken P?” DM asked.
“We’ll worry about him.” Wraith said. “Everyone else needs to find new Lesser Scions. With what they’ve done you shouldn’t even need to bring them to the Dais, we can make the contracts on the spot, or nullify them.Find the mortals best to fit the needs of the Multiverse.”
“Excuse me?!” A voice snarled from above. It was attached to a ghost in blue robes and red eyes that barely stood four feet tall. He was Elbee, Wraith’s younger brother and Lesser-Scion of Terror.
“You, Anna and Chybee being the outliers.” Wraith sighed, “Lesser-Scions, keep your eyes and ears open. These zombies of hers are impressively dangerous, even to you.”
Anna cleared her throat. “And keep an eye out for my Nobody. We haven’t seen or heard anything from her.”
Wraith nodded, “That too, we know she can hurt and kill any of us, so be careful.”
Destiny stood, “Are we dismissed? I have ideas on where to recruit.”
Wraith nodded. “We are dismissed.”
Astral took a breath and walked towards the door that would normally lead to his section of the Verge, instead he willed it to a world he had passed some time ago, where a god struck out injustice and tyrants.
<<<>>>
Next Story
The Scions, The Verge, and associated characters are © u/TheSmogMonsterZX
All other characters not a part of the Scion-Verge-Verse are © Their Original Creators and are not used with intent to infringe upon their creator’s rights.
<<< The Voice Box/Author’s Notes>>>
Perfection: (catatonic)
Wraith: Not cool.
Smoggy: I--
DM: So not cool.
Smoggy: Its not--
Karma: I’m mad at you.
Smoggy: The absolute fuck.
Anna: Let him talk.
Smoggy: Thank you.
Anna: Meanie.
Smoggy: (flails around in anger) This wasn’t easy for me either. Mosious and Therten were the crux of Scions being Scions when I started.
Perfection: (springs up) I SAW THAT CORRECTION FOX BOY!
Smoggy: What? Where? Son of a bitch he did...
submitted by TheSmogmonsterZX to HFY [link] [comments]
Stories of the Scions
Aftershocks
1
Astral Frieght stood on the ledge of a building in Shibuya. He inhaled one of his cheap cigarettes and then let it burn down a bit. He absorbed the sights and sounds, the sirens, the loud shoppers and louder car engines. He watched the trains fly by barely making a sound as they went. He was happy for the briefest time back in the realism he grew up in, even if they were just an illusion on the far edge of his Verge. Like most Scions he had long outlived his core reality’s existence and all that remained of it were his memories and his now immortal and time locked family.
“Daaaad!” A young boy called out. “The guy in red is here again!”
Astral sighed as he stepped off the roof and spread his wings. He flew in real time to his home, far closer to the center of the Verge. The Verge existed as a plane of reality untouched by the laws of reality, each section answering only to their master’s commands. Some were bountiful endless swaths of nature, some were desolate wastelands, and at least one had been made into an endless battlefield and production warehouse. Astral maintained his as a mostly flat plan save for two areas, his home which was a mirror of the home he once had and the perfect replica of Japan in his world around the year 2008 C.E. that he kept at the far end. Astral landed and his wings collapsed back into his shoulder blades and once again became little more than a large tattoo.
Astral walked through the backdoor and saw his young son, Takeru glaring up at his Scionic opposite. He walked up to his colleague and ruffled his son’s hair.
“It’s all right kid.” Astral smiled down. “P’s here for a reason, right?”
Perfection, the Scion of Chaos gave a grin filled with razor sharp teeth, but radiated no malice. He was clearly in a good mood. He nodded and chuckled before he chose to speak.
“We have a full on meeting. All hands on deck!” Perfection giggled, “I think Destiny finally figured out her plan.”
Astral blinked, the Scions had been laying low while they figured out the plans of a former member of their ranks. The former Scion of Evil had manipulated events to wrench her soul free of its connection to her powers and position as a Scion. Her former underling, Consumption, took her place and had been far more agreeable. Astral had actually lost track of how much time had passed.
“I know, it’s amazing and I get to gloat about all I found!” Perfection cackled as another smaller form plowed into his legs.
“UNCLE P!” Astral’s daughter, Ren, grabbed at Perfection’s leg. She seemed only a few years older than her brother and delighted at his presence.
“Well hello there Renny.” Perfection laughed and produced a candy bar for the girl. “Best chocolate from an unknown reality.”
“Chocolate!” Ren grabbed the bar and ran off.
“Ren...” Astral called out to his daughter.
“Thank you!” Ren shouted back.
“Your kids are so adorable...” Perfection handed another bar to Takeru.
The young boy looked up for approval from his father. Astral nodded.
“Thank you.” Takeru took it gently and went to follow his sister.
“How long...” Astral shook his head.
“Only a few hundred years.” Perfection smirked, “You know for possessing the concept of time you are shit at tracking it.”
“Yeah, and I’m still a nicotine addict.” Astral sighed and gestured for Perfection to lead on.
“Not gonna tell the wifey you’re going?” Perfection arched an eyebrow.
“Do we actually want to leave this millennium?” Astral snorted, “Love that woman, but she will take forever and give me a list of things to do.”
Perfection snorted and opened the door. The two walked into the center of the Verge, a place called the Dais Room, or simply the Dais. Despite entering from the same door, the two approached from opposite halls. Each approached their chair and sat in it. For Astral it was a simple and comfortable wooden chair with a solid back but padded back. Perfection had chosen to steal a Throne of Swords for this particular meeting, his pranks were not likely to stop anytime soon. They sat opposite each other as Astral was Order to Perfection’s Chaos. Despite this the two got along relatively well when Perfection wasn’t trying to drive people insane.
Soon the other halls lit up and the seats of the balcony began to fill. The next to arrive was the Scion of Life, he was bust programming his new cybernetic prosthesis as he took his seat on a blue glowing chair. Then it was Wraith, Scion of Death and his wife Karma, Scion of Balance, who took their seats on their simple customized leather chairs. They were the definitive power couple of the Scions. After them came the bombastic and overly excited DM, Scion of Variable, opposite of Karma he sat on a simple gamer’s chair that began to massage his back. Then Mosious, Scion of creation came down to his chair, Therten, Scion of Null soon followed and his completely alien form composed of the void of space sat in a chair of solid nothingness.
At this point the gathered Scions nodded to each other in acknowledgement and waited as the final members seemed to be taking their time. Astral himself went to light a cigarette, but received an almost literal death glare from Wraith. Astral slid the cigarette back into its package with a sheepish smile.
Then came the Scions of Darkness and Light, the twins Maven and Alteran. Each approached calmly and sat in a chair that reflected the other’s nature. The next pair to arrive were Righteousness and Corruption, or Good and Evil. Raptor, Scion of Righteousness entered first and sat on his simple throne, crafted by his former followers when he was a god. Consumption, Scion of Corruption approached and crafted a chair made of his own viscous body. Then the final two arrived, The Scion of Destiny, a crystalline being composed of all the energies and concepts of the other Scions formed at the center of the Dais and walked to its simple glass-like chair. The sound of footsteps announced the arrival of the Scion of Defiance, Alan Quain. Next to him walked his daughter and the Lesser Scion of Heroism. He sat on his steel chair and Anna sat next to him on one with a cushion.
“We are almost all here.” Destiny spoke, its voice sounding like a crystal wind chime.
“Really.” Therten looked at Anna, “Shouldn’t she be up there.”
“We can go another round about it.” Alan glared at the Scion of Null.
Destiny sighed, it appreciated its opposite in Defiance, but the newest Scion had been causing a stir since his arrival. “Therten, she is his daughter and direct subordinate, there is no reason for her to be forced to the higher levels.”
A few more Lesser-Scions, those benign tasked with a more focused or less generalized concept or idea filtered in. Many seats still remained empty.
“We are gathered.” Destiny spoke and a railing rose from the ground around the Dais, closing off access to the other aspects of the Verge.
The doors behind each Scion also sealed. Alan immediately leaned back and put his feet on the railing, receiving a glare from Destiny and Null which was promptly ignored.
Wraith stood. “Who has called this meeting Destiny?”
Destiny gestured to Mosious and Therten.
Perfection leaned forward, as did Astral. The first two Scions always got an audience when they called for one. The rest stared in awe or concern.
“Before we speak, we want the rest of you to fill us in on the situation with Atropos.” Mosious said with a gentle smile. His calm paternal appearance of an aged unknown humanoid seemed to always settle the nerves of the other Scions, this time it did not.
Consumption stood first, “We have tracked some of her essence to the outer edges of our territory.” They chuckled, Consumption was a gestalt of the victims of the original personality that had absorbed them. Now they stayed united for continued survival. “But nothing solid, just trails that end in nothingness.” Their strange voice croaked like many sickened frogs trying to escape a deadly bog, but in a unified tone.
Raptor did not stand, “I have heard nothing, she has not attacked or attempted to contact me.”
DM spoke next, “She’s plotting, we all know this and we all know who has the info we need.” He looked straight at Perfection.
“Aww, but I wanna hear what everyone else has.” Perfection chuckled.
“It’s big then.” Wraith sighed. “Perfection, is it at least worth suffering through your antics?”
Perfection seemed to mull the thought over for a moment. “Maybe let Al give what he’s got and then I’ll go.”
Alan looked at Perfection with a glare as he took his feet off the railing and stood. “Ladies...” He paused and looked at the other Scions. “How do I address the gathering?”
Destiny paused and let its gaze settle on Mosious. “I would suggest, simply as ‘Fellow Scions’?” Destiny for once seemed unsure.
“An excellent suggestion, wouldn’t you agree Wraith?” Mosious asked.
Wraith let the orbs that were his eyes settle on the smiling form of Mosious, then he slowly nodded.
“Fellow Scions.” Alan gestured to the glowing center of the Dais and it shifted to a view of the known multiverse, the Scion’s territory was outlined in series of dashes and dots across a flat surface that when pulled out to view on the whole looked like countless circles and lines against a background of other dashes and dots. “My daughter and I have spent a few centuries traveling and learning our posts. We’ve seen and heard a few things. Chief among them that Brok and Sindri, were seen in a reality not associated with them. Yes, that Brok and Sindri, we looked and found evidence that both were in fact some form of zombies.”
Anna stood up and gestured to the Dais. It changed to display recorded images.
“Thank you Anna.” Alan nodded, “Anna got to see the newscasts in one reality. I was a bit busy.”
“Doing what?” Astral asked as he looked at the image.
“Fighting Zombie Hulk.” Alan said flatly.
“Of course they went to one of those worlds.” Karma huffed.
“That’s the thing, they didn’t.” Alan explained, “They brought this plague with them.”
Anna spoke up, “We managed to remove the plague and with Ragnis’ help fixed the heroes and villains infected. Wraith restored the people.”
“They brought that...” Wraith leaned in now, “A piece of Ragnis and a piece of me...”
“What?” Therten asked.
“Atropos had a piece of my daggers embedded in her leg, essentially a piece of my being. Then she took Ragnis’ hand.” Wraith leaned back. “She’s setting herself up as some sort of undead queen.”
Perfection fabricated and rang a triangle in the middle of the air.
Wraith’s eyes betrayed his anger as he slouched in his chair.
“That’s exactly it, but also more.” Perfection said, “I can explain what I and Lachesis have found but it doesn’t matter much. She’s playing a long game and she’s snagged a second to bring to her aid.”
“Who!?” Wraith roared to life and extended his frame over the railing.
“Tyrrn.” Perfection grinned, “Yes Anna, that one. The one who you beat a few times, the one who ran to another reality to crush a different version of you. We only have some limited good news.”
The room paid rapt attention.
“In turning both the Brok and Sindri she had into mindless zombies they have lost most of their crafting capabilities. So until she can get some fresh essence of twin dwarven crafters, she can’t even make him one of whatever she is.” Perfection explained.
“An Echo.” Lachesis, Lesser Scion of Prophecy and Madness spoke up. “She is an Echo. A memory and a wound. Something powerful, but not indestructible.” She looked to the empty seats, “We must expand our understanding.”
Destiny observed and nodded. “Agreed, it is clear she means to declare a war of some sort.”
Perfection wagged his finger, “No, not a war.” He reached to his side and plucked at something invisible to most Scions. It made a shrieking sound like a glove over a cello.
“She wants to be Godzilla?” Astral asked in confusion.
“She wants an eternal fight.” Perfection said, “She wants us to always worry and when we fail, to suffer.”
Consumption snorted, “She should not have rejected her position then.”
“Agreed.” Destiny steepled their hands.
“So now we need to...” Perfection snapped his fingers, “What’s the word...”
“Recruit.” A red skinned young man called from the balcony.
“That’s the word. That’s my boy!” Perfection called to his son Chybee.
“Stop helping him.” Therten snarled.
“Bite me.” Chybee snorted, “I mean it’s not like I’m a beloved family member, oh wait...”
“So much love my boy.” Perfection smiled and made a hugging motion. Chybee slowly slid lower in his chair.
Maven stood, “Perfection, how did you find this out?”
“The strings.” Perfection smiled. “Normally the red ones are for mortals, gold for gods or other direct immortals, blinding white light for us.”
Alteran stood and leaned to listen. So did the others as Perfection put a display on the Dais image projector. Red, gold and white strings against a black background.
“She’s as black as the background isn’t she?” Anna asked with a scoff and clear anger.
“Point for our Littlest Hero.” Perfection beamed. “And there are six more we can feel forming.”
“For a total of Seven.” Destiny nodded, “One to match each pair.”
“Yeah.” Perfection nodded, “And they’re attached to a physical aspect. Like being Undead.”
“How is that physical?” Alteran asked.
“Rejection of Life and Death, forced to an eternal physical prison.” Ragnis spoke up as he pulled out a scroll from a bag at his side. “I’ve been walking among mortals again. Took a new path, studied magic of a realm similar to my original one. “She’s made herself less a concept and more, well an Echo. Something that doesn’t actually exist.”
“Undeath is not a natural concept. It’s why Ragnis and I both have reign over it.” Wraith explained, “And now we know why we’ve had difficulty with it since she was removed.”
Ragnis nodded, “I had come up with a few theories. This was pretty high on the list.”
“Lookit that.” Perfection smiled, “Ragnis gone and got S-M-R-T.”
“I will still put an axe in your head.” Ragnis grumbled.
“How did you get away with a robot hand in a magic world?” Perfection asked as he suddenly appeared next to Ragnis.
“Chaos, please not now.” Destiny sighed, audibly annoyed by the other Scion.
Perfection smiled and appeared back at his stolen throne. “Long and the short of it is, Lachesis is right, we need numbers because now we have competition.”
The room was silent for many minutes afterward as the rest contemplated the news.
Astral stood up and smacked the railing. “Then we recruit. We’ve all traveled so far and wide. We’ve all seen people we all wished we could bring into the fold. So now we do.”
Perfection chuckled. “And we got time. She’s staking out a fresh born universe.”
“Really?” Wraith blinked, “Why’s that good?”
Perfection smiled, “Moe, Therten and I made some...” He bobbed his head playfully, “...alterations to the universe.”
“Alterations such as?” Wraith asked.
“We swapped Sol for another very similar star system.” Mosious said, “Perfection even positioned it to have the same or similar star maps.”
“So she’ll be lost when she tries to find humanity.” Karma clapped happily, then let a straight emotionless face hit the next words. “Good, gives me time to scoop her eyes out...”
The room stared at the Scion of Balance in concern.
“Darling.” Wraith spoke, “Remember the chat we had.”
“I know!” Karma crossed her arms in annoyance. “Sorry.”
“What happened, Death?” Destiny asked.
“Karai and Rael were attacked not long ago. Zombies, unusually strong ones. I had to remind my wife that I would be the one to address their maker.” Wraith said, “Clearly she has already attacked, and as always she strikes at me first.”
“What about the hidden worlds?” Maven asked, “We know someone has been sneaking in.”
Perfection gave a brief innocent whistle, then laughed. “It’s safe, we’ve reinforced the barriers and glamors.”
“Good.” Destiny said, “Any internal issues we are needed for?”
Perfection shook his head. “Wraith and I have been keeping those contained.”
“What have you been keeping contained?” Wraith looked at his friend in shock.
“A villain who has stepped on everyone’s, and I mean EVERYONE’S toes.” Perfection exhaled, “It’d be really impressive if it wasn’t so sad.”
“Do we have any ideas?” Destiny asked.
“I have a few.” Wraith nodded, “I will need to restructure my current setup. And some time for that.”
Destiny nodded in approval.
“Before you all begin that.” Mosious and Therten both stood up.
“This will be our last meeting.” Therten said.
Perfection blinked and laughed, “That’s a good one!”
Wraith focused on the first Scions and stood before leaning on the railing. “Really, you’re embracing the end now?!”
Perfection blinked, “No, it’s...” He looked at Mosious and then Therten. “It’s a joke right? Therten, you can’t collect if...”
“I may loathe this existence, but Mosious and I have sensed this coming change. If there is a Seventh to be made we believe they will have the upper hand.” Therten explained.
Perfection froze as did every other Scion and Lesser-Scion.
“Our powers will be with you all. Creation and Null will be a part of all full Scions until such a time as we can be replaced.” Mosious smiled and crossed the barriers to Perfection to give him a hug. “Do not fear this change, my favorite friend. You will not be without us, we will merely be in a different form.”
“So who’s gonna lead us?” Alan shouted, “The big rock?!” He pointed at Destiny.
“We are not qualified.” Destiny glared back.
“Good to know you know that.” Alan nodded.
“Wraith.” Mosious spoke.
“I beg your pardon?” Wraith blinked in utter shock to such a degree he even forgot to cover his Irish accent.
Therten approached the Scion of Death. “Name one other Scion the others can agree to respect. Do not fear this Death, it is proof of your wisdom, courage and leadership.”
Wraith looked over at Perfection who was still trembling in shock. He nodded and looked back at Null with a glare.
“Both of you should have known better.” Wraith hissed.
“Wraith.” Mosious drifted over to the ghostly Scion. “It must be done and there is no painless way to say goodbye. You know this.”
Wraith nodded and cursed himself under his breath.
“Now, I believe we have a new adventure to head onto.” Mosious smiled as he held his arm out for Therten to join him. The Scion of Null stared for a moment before putting his own arm through the looped arm that was offered to him.
Wraith produced a shining staff and tapped it on the ground. A door opened and he gestured for the two, now former, Scions to walk through. The three passed through the door and it closed behind them.
Perfection sat back on the throne and snapped his fingers. It was replaced by a recliner and a blanket with cartoonish images of all the other Scions. The sound of landing hooves alerted him to Chybee leaping down and sitting next to him, but the Chaotic Scion was still stunned.
“I do not like this feeling.” Destiny spoke softly to no one in particular. “I feel lessened but I know I am not weaker.”
Alan sighed, “Fucking time for change, eh kid?” He looked down to his daughter who was sniffling and wiping her eyes.
Anna only nodded.
The railing in the center slid into the ground and the pathways and chairs for the Scions of Creation and Null both faded and became dark, but did not vanish. Karma approached the center and touched the Dais. It rippled and spun with a strange glow before a pulse of power rippled over all the Scions.
Astral felt a surge in his power. Fresh memories and a new sense of power rushed into him.
“What just happened?” Maven asked.
“We got a power boost.” DM smiled, then frowned. “But we lost our friends.”
“For now.” Wraith’s voice echoed as he returned from his pathway. “I will find these replacements once we are done with Atropos.” He looked at Perfection and sighed, “Chybee, take him home, I’ll be around later.”
Chybee nodded, snapped his fingers and vanished with his adoptive father.
“So how do we fix a broken P?” DM asked.
“We’ll worry about him.” Wraith said. “Everyone else needs to find new Lesser Scions. With what they’ve done you shouldn’t even need to bring them to the Dais, we can make the contracts on the spot, or nullify them.Find the mortals best to fit the needs of the Multiverse.”
“Excuse me?!” A voice snarled from above. It was attached to a ghost in blue robes and red eyes that barely stood four feet tall. He was Elbee, Wraith’s younger brother and Lesser-Scion of Terror.
“You, Anna and Chybee being the outliers.” Wraith sighed, “Lesser-Scions, keep your eyes and ears open. These zombies of hers are impressively dangerous, even to you.”
Anna cleared her throat. “And keep an eye out for my Nobody. We haven’t seen or heard anything from her.”
Wraith nodded, “That too, we know she can hurt and kill any of us, so be careful.”
Destiny stood, “Are we dismissed? I have ideas on where to recruit.”
Wraith nodded. “We are dismissed.”
Astral took a breath and walked towards the door that would normally lead to his section of the Verge, instead he willed it to a world he had passed some time ago, where a god struck out injustice and tyrants.
<<<
Next Story
The Scions, The Verge, and associated characters are © u/TheSmogMonsterZX
All other characters not a part of the Scion-Verge-Verse are © Their Original Creators and are not used with intent to infringe upon their creator’s rights.
<<< The Voice Box/Author’s Notes>>>
Perfection: (catatonic)
Wraith: Not cool.
Smoggy: I--
DM: So not cool.
Smoggy: Its not--
Karma: I’m mad at you.
Smoggy: The absolute fuck.
Anna: Let him talk.
Smoggy: Thank you.
Anna: Meanie.
Smoggy: (flails around in anger) This wasn’t easy for me either. Mosious and Therten were the crux of Scions being Scions when I started.
Perfection: (springs up) I SAW THAT CORRECTION FOX BOY!
Smoggy: What? Where? Son of a bitch he did...
2024.04.13 20:58 perseveringpixel Addiction: In a Good Way
Saturday April 13th 2024
It seems like it's finally happening: all of my failures are catching up with me, kick-starting my once-idle engine into a roaring life. I haven't journaled for weeks—why bother? I used to set unrealistic expectations for myself, a habit I've had for as long as I can remember, but I can't really pinpoint where it started. No more, I've decided. Journaling every day? Yeah, right. It's 2024, I'm 34, and broke. My new journaling goal? Once a week on Saturday mornings, a time that has proven productive for me. If you're starting a journal, make a note of when you feel best while writing. I find journaling weekly rather than daily makes it easier to revisit and reflect on my entries.
This winter at work was unusually mild for Minnesota, especially after the record snowfalls of winter 2022/23. I only needed to plow once. The downtime was filled with minor tasks and the occasional equipment breakdown. We even reduced our crew size to save on labor costs. Now, spring seems to have arrived early—it's only April 13th, but we generally expect snow well into May here. Traditionally, we don't consider it spring until April 15th.
Anyway, I'm rambling. My sleep schedule is completely messed up. It's been almost two years since my cancer treatment, and I think my body is still recovering. I have a scan coming up in May to mark the two-year point. My previous results were clear, and the doctor expects no change, but we'll see. I still smoke and eat terribly—half a pack a day and gas station hot dogs are my routine. I rationalize it by thinking my life expectancy might be shorter because of the cancer, though it's now gone, and because of the hard work and regular sauna sessions, which I joke about fixing all my problems. I laugh at my own excuses sometimes. I also have a sugar addiction—I could demolish a pound of cake in seconds without any motivation besides enjoying the indulgence. I don't care if it's rich, fluffy, or chocolate—just as long as it doesn't have that fake frosting.
I have a theory that addiction is a natural feature of the human mind and body. We're all addicted to something, whether it's success, fitness, family, gaming, cigarettes, or alcohol. Many of my addictions are negative, a reflection of the negativity I faced growing up. My mom, a widow from the Balkan war, raised three kids by herself in a foreign country. The hardships were immense, and I'm only now starting to appreciate what she went through. My teenage years brought smoking and drugs, which escalated to a three-year cocaine addiction. If I hadn't quit, I'd probably be homeless. I managed to get clean, but I still smoke and drink occasionally. Then cancer hit, and I got super healthy—ironic, right? Since then, I've slipped back into some bad habits. I think we can only manage a few addictions at a time, and it's crucial to cultivate self-awareness to turn negative habits into positive ones. Today, I've decided to refocus my addictions on healthier practices.
Smoking Cigs - I will no longer put this poison in my body in the form of cigarettes and vapes. This is literally killing me and preventing me from living a long and sustainable life. I smoke because I'm stressed about my failures and shortcomings, and it soothes me for about 3.4 seconds before I’m back to square one. This is simply dumb. I'm replacing smoking with exercise. I have a gym membership, a nice bike that my girl gifted me, and the weather is getting nice. I know how to run, and I have so many avenues for exercise for the next 6 to 8 months that I will be addicted to raising my heart rate, burning fat, and releasing endorphins, which sounds way better than smoking a nasty tasting, bad-smelling cigarette that I have to somehow mask the smell of so my girl can't tell. It's a no-brainer to go with exercise here.
Diet - I'm going to start off simple here with a baseline meal every 24 hours around 6 pm, high in protein, fats, and fibers. The goal is to spend a majority of time in ketosis. I work a labor-intensive job during the day so I may supplement with avocado, kiwi, and eggs throughout the day. I'll eat my main meal after work and exercise if I do anything on top of the workday. After my meal, I will take my vitamins, and relax to digest. Ketosis has many benefits for my body and the things it goes through on a daily basis. And I feel comfortable fasting for 24 hours; I did a little test run yesterday—after a full 24-hour fast I ate 2 avocados, and went for a mid-intensity 45-minute bike ride. I felt great and energized, was able to squeeze a 15-minute sauna session in at 160 degrees at the gym. Growing up poor, going 24 hours without eating ain't bad, so I would advise starting with like a 16-hour fast if you've never fasted before. I'm going to change this as necessary for my body. I feel like I'm in tune with my body fairly well. It's an ability to practice. One of the ways I do that is in the sauna: listen to melodic music you enjoy on repeat while meditating on body parts i.e., how they feel, range of motion, noticeable differences in parts that are supposed to be symmetrical. Yeah, I know I'm weird that I do that in the sauna, but trust me. As far as my bad diet addictions, I will no longer be addicted to sugar, but literally not consuming any other than in the natural form of fruit on occasion. I am a foodie at heart. But I am also a war survivor. I know how to eat on a regimen to survive, I am now old and wise enough to create a regimen to thrive.
Gaming - Gaming was a bigger addiction before, I solved it by selling my gaming computer and buying a cheap laptop so I can still surf the web and potentially find a way to make money online passively. I still found a way to play games on my laptop because I'm sly like that. Gaming is only negative to me right now because I have not reached some goals in life. Gaming is something I truly enjoy, but as we all know is immersive and time-consuming. Right now is crunch time for me in my mind and heart and there just isn't time for that. I've decided to shift the focus of my gaming addiction in a more positive form. Anytime I feel like gaming I will work on my own game idea—yeah, that's right. I figured I've spent enough time playing other people's games maybe I should create my own. I came up with a great idea and have begun the early stages of development. More to come on that!
Sleep - this is already proving easy to change the focus of. A lot of my bad sleep was influenced by video games. I would justify this by telling myself that I worked hard all day and I deserve to be happy, and video games make me happy so I should do this as long as I can to reward myself for a long workday. Yeah, it sounds dumb when you type it out... start journaling. Anyway, it's been 2 nights now of good restorative sleep. The first night was interesting: I got home from work around 5:30 PM, relieved some stress in a personal moment, then fell asleep on my bed from 6 pm to 6 am the next day, waking up briefly to take care of necessities and touch base with my partner. Woke up the next day performing well at work, completing a 24 hr fast, 45-minute bike ride, 15-minute sauna session, and went to bed by 11 pm, waking up today feeling like myself in 2007—the last time I remember being my true self. Life has a weird way of fast-forwarding... if you’ve ever seen the Adam Sandler movie "Click," you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyway, this is all the proof I need that good sleep is absolutely necessary to start your journey to a better self.
These are the foundational changes I'm making, which will serve as my new baseline. I'm excited to adjust and refine these as I see their effects. My next goal is to fine-tune my diet further. It's Saturday today, and after payday this Wednesday, my new eating plan kicks in. By next Saturday’s journal entry, I'll have several days of this new regimen to discuss, which is quite exciting. I'm now channeling my addictive tendencies towards healthier activities—exercise when stressed, nutrient-rich foods when hungry, and creative projects for entertainment. Focusing on these positive addictions should help me live a fuller, more satisfying life. And, as always, good sleep is the game changer, reinforcing every other positive change I'm making. I'll update you on my progress and any adjustments in next week's post. For now, I'm off to prep my truck for a new paint job, with before and after photos to come. Remember, addressing your sleep issues is crucial; it's foundational to tackling any of life's challenges, much like maintaining vital stats in a video game.
submitted by perseveringpixel to u/perseveringpixel [link] [comments]
It seems like it's finally happening: all of my failures are catching up with me, kick-starting my once-idle engine into a roaring life. I haven't journaled for weeks—why bother? I used to set unrealistic expectations for myself, a habit I've had for as long as I can remember, but I can't really pinpoint where it started. No more, I've decided. Journaling every day? Yeah, right. It's 2024, I'm 34, and broke. My new journaling goal? Once a week on Saturday mornings, a time that has proven productive for me. If you're starting a journal, make a note of when you feel best while writing. I find journaling weekly rather than daily makes it easier to revisit and reflect on my entries.
This winter at work was unusually mild for Minnesota, especially after the record snowfalls of winter 2022/23. I only needed to plow once. The downtime was filled with minor tasks and the occasional equipment breakdown. We even reduced our crew size to save on labor costs. Now, spring seems to have arrived early—it's only April 13th, but we generally expect snow well into May here. Traditionally, we don't consider it spring until April 15th.
Anyway, I'm rambling. My sleep schedule is completely messed up. It's been almost two years since my cancer treatment, and I think my body is still recovering. I have a scan coming up in May to mark the two-year point. My previous results were clear, and the doctor expects no change, but we'll see. I still smoke and eat terribly—half a pack a day and gas station hot dogs are my routine. I rationalize it by thinking my life expectancy might be shorter because of the cancer, though it's now gone, and because of the hard work and regular sauna sessions, which I joke about fixing all my problems. I laugh at my own excuses sometimes. I also have a sugar addiction—I could demolish a pound of cake in seconds without any motivation besides enjoying the indulgence. I don't care if it's rich, fluffy, or chocolate—just as long as it doesn't have that fake frosting.
I have a theory that addiction is a natural feature of the human mind and body. We're all addicted to something, whether it's success, fitness, family, gaming, cigarettes, or alcohol. Many of my addictions are negative, a reflection of the negativity I faced growing up. My mom, a widow from the Balkan war, raised three kids by herself in a foreign country. The hardships were immense, and I'm only now starting to appreciate what she went through. My teenage years brought smoking and drugs, which escalated to a three-year cocaine addiction. If I hadn't quit, I'd probably be homeless. I managed to get clean, but I still smoke and drink occasionally. Then cancer hit, and I got super healthy—ironic, right? Since then, I've slipped back into some bad habits. I think we can only manage a few addictions at a time, and it's crucial to cultivate self-awareness to turn negative habits into positive ones. Today, I've decided to refocus my addictions on healthier practices.
Smoking Cigs - I will no longer put this poison in my body in the form of cigarettes and vapes. This is literally killing me and preventing me from living a long and sustainable life. I smoke because I'm stressed about my failures and shortcomings, and it soothes me for about 3.4 seconds before I’m back to square one. This is simply dumb. I'm replacing smoking with exercise. I have a gym membership, a nice bike that my girl gifted me, and the weather is getting nice. I know how to run, and I have so many avenues for exercise for the next 6 to 8 months that I will be addicted to raising my heart rate, burning fat, and releasing endorphins, which sounds way better than smoking a nasty tasting, bad-smelling cigarette that I have to somehow mask the smell of so my girl can't tell. It's a no-brainer to go with exercise here.
Diet - I'm going to start off simple here with a baseline meal every 24 hours around 6 pm, high in protein, fats, and fibers. The goal is to spend a majority of time in ketosis. I work a labor-intensive job during the day so I may supplement with avocado, kiwi, and eggs throughout the day. I'll eat my main meal after work and exercise if I do anything on top of the workday. After my meal, I will take my vitamins, and relax to digest. Ketosis has many benefits for my body and the things it goes through on a daily basis. And I feel comfortable fasting for 24 hours; I did a little test run yesterday—after a full 24-hour fast I ate 2 avocados, and went for a mid-intensity 45-minute bike ride. I felt great and energized, was able to squeeze a 15-minute sauna session in at 160 degrees at the gym. Growing up poor, going 24 hours without eating ain't bad, so I would advise starting with like a 16-hour fast if you've never fasted before. I'm going to change this as necessary for my body. I feel like I'm in tune with my body fairly well. It's an ability to practice. One of the ways I do that is in the sauna: listen to melodic music you enjoy on repeat while meditating on body parts i.e., how they feel, range of motion, noticeable differences in parts that are supposed to be symmetrical. Yeah, I know I'm weird that I do that in the sauna, but trust me. As far as my bad diet addictions, I will no longer be addicted to sugar, but literally not consuming any other than in the natural form of fruit on occasion. I am a foodie at heart. But I am also a war survivor. I know how to eat on a regimen to survive, I am now old and wise enough to create a regimen to thrive.
Gaming - Gaming was a bigger addiction before, I solved it by selling my gaming computer and buying a cheap laptop so I can still surf the web and potentially find a way to make money online passively. I still found a way to play games on my laptop because I'm sly like that. Gaming is only negative to me right now because I have not reached some goals in life. Gaming is something I truly enjoy, but as we all know is immersive and time-consuming. Right now is crunch time for me in my mind and heart and there just isn't time for that. I've decided to shift the focus of my gaming addiction in a more positive form. Anytime I feel like gaming I will work on my own game idea—yeah, that's right. I figured I've spent enough time playing other people's games maybe I should create my own. I came up with a great idea and have begun the early stages of development. More to come on that!
Sleep - this is already proving easy to change the focus of. A lot of my bad sleep was influenced by video games. I would justify this by telling myself that I worked hard all day and I deserve to be happy, and video games make me happy so I should do this as long as I can to reward myself for a long workday. Yeah, it sounds dumb when you type it out... start journaling. Anyway, it's been 2 nights now of good restorative sleep. The first night was interesting: I got home from work around 5:30 PM, relieved some stress in a personal moment, then fell asleep on my bed from 6 pm to 6 am the next day, waking up briefly to take care of necessities and touch base with my partner. Woke up the next day performing well at work, completing a 24 hr fast, 45-minute bike ride, 15-minute sauna session, and went to bed by 11 pm, waking up today feeling like myself in 2007—the last time I remember being my true self. Life has a weird way of fast-forwarding... if you’ve ever seen the Adam Sandler movie "Click," you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyway, this is all the proof I need that good sleep is absolutely necessary to start your journey to a better self.
These are the foundational changes I'm making, which will serve as my new baseline. I'm excited to adjust and refine these as I see their effects. My next goal is to fine-tune my diet further. It's Saturday today, and after payday this Wednesday, my new eating plan kicks in. By next Saturday’s journal entry, I'll have several days of this new regimen to discuss, which is quite exciting. I'm now channeling my addictive tendencies towards healthier activities—exercise when stressed, nutrient-rich foods when hungry, and creative projects for entertainment. Focusing on these positive addictions should help me live a fuller, more satisfying life. And, as always, good sleep is the game changer, reinforcing every other positive change I'm making. I'll update you on my progress and any adjustments in next week's post. For now, I'm off to prep my truck for a new paint job, with before and after photos to come. Remember, addressing your sleep issues is crucial; it's foundational to tackling any of life's challenges, much like maintaining vital stats in a video game.
2024.04.11 15:26 Accurate-Ad8935 Another cafe review
 | So I burned these two together. My thoughts are: -Aesthetically the exterior box is cute & happy, like a colored pencil drawing. The lampost kind of gives me candelabra from Beauty and the Beast vibes. - I don’t like the glass print showing through the label stickers, looks cheap maybe? Burn: as you can see, these two burn differently, with Cafe burning quicker and pooling out more. They were both lit at the same time, after wicks were trimmed. This picture is about 1 hr 30 mins in. submitted by Accurate-Ad8935 to luxurycandles [link] [comments] Scent: as others have said, I cannot really smell Chantilly. When I separate it from cafe, there is a faint sweet, soft smell of vanilla and whipped cream. Nothing more complicated than that. It’s kind of an old vanilla. My grandmother had a vanilla candle and it kind of smells like that. Also smells like the vanilla you get a whiff of from e-cigarettes. I don’t hate it, and may be a good gift buy, although the receiver may be left wondering what makes Diptyque candles so special. Cafe: on cold I really liked it! Pure coffee, like smelling freshly ground beans. When it was lit however, I didn’t care for it. To my nose it smelled like burnt coffee in the bottom of a pot left on a burner without an automatic shut off. (I’m American, so think Mr. Coffee coffee pot left on all day) I LOVE Breakfast Liepzig (an all-time top 5 for me), and I also tend to like coffee scents. Coffee is ALWAYS my drink of choice. But, I was a little disappointed in this combo. I also saved the Biscuit one from this trio because that is also one of my all-time top 5s and I want to enjoy that one on its own. (Plus I have older ones of it to burn first). Would love to know what everyone else thinks! |
2024.04.08 19:42 TonyYumYum Health and Wellness Free Audiobook Megathread
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2024.04.08 10:32 dawgebredd apparently you can rizz people up with lhabia ☠️
 | submitted by dawgebredd to deftones [link] [comments] |
2024.04.05 16:06 ConsciousRun6137 The Dinosaur HOAX: The Royal Society, United Nations, Quaker Oats & Chicken Bones; Part 1
 | If you want to go down a rabbit hole, a rabbit hole unlike any you have ever been down before, this five-part series is some of my deepest investigation. In it, I unearth information that nobody else has yet to uncover and, ultimately, expose an insane 225+ year conspiracy. This ended up being my favorite series, to date. I think you’ll love it too. Enjoy the ride ~ submitted by ConsciousRun6137 to conspiracy_commons [link] [comments] In Scientism, man is Science, Science is God, therefore man is God, Scientists are God. Just how Christians say, “Trust in God”, Scientism says, “Trust the Science”. Because of this, the Bible was a major problem for Scientism, specifically, it was a problem for their Theory of Evolution, because the theory of evolution is proof that there is no God; no Greater Power thoughtfully created every species, instead, all creation occurred through happenstance and evolution... Science. To defeat religion’s God, Scientism needed there to be evidence of evolution, more than just words, and suddenly, in the late 1700’s, dinosaur fossils miraculously began appearing. These prehistoric creatures would become the proof needed for evolution theory, therefore disproving God, or, at a minimum, proving that God did not first make man in his own image, instead, God toyed with huge beasts for a while (160 million years, to be precise), then decided to slaughter them all; either way, the Bible is wrong and Science is right… so, trust the Science… https://preview.redd.it/03k7rbaf2osc1.png?width=1456&format=png&auto=webp&s=4be0f615ddfb4f734e7d607d4cbca355cb422597 Listen closely because this is the foundation for everything that will unfold throughout this series… (1 minute and 28-second video) Yep, 228 years ago, a member of the Royal Society had the “uncanny ability” to identify animals from a few random bones, and he somehow determined the bones brought to him were…*gasp*… DINOSAURS!… As you will come to learn in this series, the only people to ever discover dinosaurs are the government, museums (primarily the Smithsonian - crazy sh*t will be coming out about them in Part 5 of this series. THE HISTORY LESSON WE ARE NOT TAUGHTOk, so, after the Royal Society dude said the blah-blah-blah about the bones belonging to extinct species, two men went to work, quickly discovering pretty much every single dinosaur. Imagine the odds of not only discovering a bone, but discovering damn-near all of ‘em…One of these two discoverer-dudes was Edward Drinker Cope, The other dude who discovered half the dino’s was Othniel Charles Marsh, often called “OC Marsh”, or just “Marsh”, and this bro was a huge Evolutionist. Mr. Marsh was also wealthy AF because his uncle was George Peabody, who had $20 million dollars in the 1800s, which is equal to $500+ million today. Uncle Peabody funded all of Marsh’s expeditions, then, using his immense riches, Mr. Peabody established a historical museum and library in Peabody, Massachusetts (just in case you needed another reason to hate the elites, the city was indeed named after him). He also erected a natural-history museum at Yale University and a museum of archaeology at Harvard University… so, it was through Uncle Peabody that Mr. Marshes discoveries became fact; when you own the museums, you control the content, therefore controlling history… Meanwhile, Cope was banging out those Scientific papers. Like a grilled cheese sandwich, the dinosaur scheme was coming together quickly. Marsh would conveniently become the chief paleontologist of the U.S. Geological Survey, a government entity. Then, the US government began supplying both men with federal funding for their expeditions. Now the good ol’ gov was deeply intertwined into dinosaur hunting. This tidbit of information may not seem important now, but it will be later in this series. Within a matter of years, dinosaur bone fossils were magically being discovered all over the world, by government entities, fossil hunters (museums) and the elites. Interestingly, dinosaurs were not being discovered by normal people who were digging basements, ditches, graves or general land excavation. Large prehistoric creatures are not found by hikers, beachgoers, divers, campers or mountain climbers. New species are not stumbled across by people digging in their gardens, farmers tilling their fields, or the ancient Egyptians, whose pyramids spanned 60-feet deep (despite them telling us that the desert is a hotbed of complete dinosaur skeletons). However, there’s a solution! All of us non-government-entities, non-museums and non-elites might be able to find some bones if we get permission to go to the “dinosaur parks” And guess who owns the dinosaur parks as well as the history-making dig sites? (9 second video) Mmmmhmmm… the elites and museums own them. But, if we don’t want to pay to be able to go to the predesignated dinosaur parks to dig, there are some other locations that dinosaur bones can be found, but you and I can’t get to them because “it’s a very remote place, with few roads to travel and even fewer resources, like food and gas”, plus, the maps to get there are wrong… (19 second video) And, because we are not financially invested museum curators, there’s no chance of us making a dinosaur discovery, like this museum-bro did. This homie found history-making dinosaur egg clutches! This discovery was so incredible that the mountain dig site was renamed “Egg Mountain”: (must-see 1:30 video) Let’s ignore that this hatched egg has a nearly-flat top, as if the shell just popped in half with 0 cracking… Even though you and I will never find dino bones, let alone a new type of prehistoric critter, the dinosaur hunters are somehow finding 50 new species a year! REMARKABLE! (20 second video) Although we can’t add “find a dinosaur skeleton” to our Bucket Lists, the good news is that we can pay to go see these incredible discoveries in a museum, right? Welllll… not so much. Would you be shocked to learn: WE HAVE NEVER SEEN A REAL DINOSAUR BONEYou read that correctly; we have never seen a real dinosaur bone. Every bone in the museums are fake… because… they are radioactive, so, for our protection, we can only see replicas… (2 minute video)So, if we aren’t seeing the real bones, then what exactly are we looking at when we pay admission to get into a dinosaur bone museum? …I wasn’t kidding when I told you this is one hell of a rabbit hole... (1 minute video) Yep, when we pay $14+ a ticket to get into a museum to see dinosaur bones, we are seeing real bones but they’re actually chicken bones, frog bones and horse bones… cuz radiation… But it isn’t just us plebs who can’t see the actual bones… nobody can, not even industry professionals are allowed to actually see and touch authentic dinosaur bones… (1:27 video) Do you want to know why professionals can no longer see them? (volume is really low but you absolutely must see this video! 4 minutes) I hope you were able to hear that video, if not, what had happened was, a Trusted Source was allowed the rare opportunity to actually see some real dinosaur fossils… and he discovered they were all fake, hacked together from fragments of small animal bones, metal and glue.. but National Geographic didn’t care. Nat Geo went ahead and ran the story as being real… and this is why real bones are completely off-limits. THE REPLICAS THAT WE ARE ALLOWED TO SEEIt’s not just that they’re just radioactive, but they’re also just too rare, just too valuable and just too heavy that they would bust through the floor… Seriously though, these reasons sound like the excuses I make to get out of going on vacation with my in-laws, “I’m really busy… I actually might have to work… and someone has to feed the blue jays… and who will answer the door if Fed Ex shows up with a package?…” (1:52 video)Thankfully, there happens to be tons of museum quality dinosaur skeleton manufacturers. Without them we would have no proof dinosaurs exist! Here’s just a few places that provide replicas: To add to the oddities, they have never found complete skeletons, so the artists, who are responsible for designing history, have to guess. You may be thinking, “It’s probably just a couple pieces missing! It’s not like they’re designing the whole friggin’ skeleton, that would be ridiculous!”. Would you be surprised to discover that the artist is tasked with creating an entire dinosaur off this? Or, in most cases, far less: That was not a joke. That’s actually what they are making dinosaurs based on… (1 minute video) They literally “make history”: (1 minute video) And when they can’t make history, they show you this: (35 second video) TRUST THE SCIENCE! Everything you have read thus far was foreshadowing; here’s where the series officially begins: I was laying in bed, trolling dinosaur discovery headlines and, like Alice in Wonderland, I accidentally ended up in a crazy rabbit hole when I came across this recent headline: I was like, “Oh sh\t! They FINALLY found a complete dinosaur skull?!”*… Look at this massive mofo!: So, I start reading through the article and learned that it’s a normal dude who found this skull (not a Quaker Oat heir, not a Carnegie, not a Cocky-Rocky, not a government affiliate). The story is: “The skull of an enormous ancient sea monster called a Pliosaur has been pulled from cliffs on the U.K.'s southern Jurassic Coast” … “The fossil was discovered by local fossil enthusiast Steve Etches, who was walking near the cliffs and found the tip of the snout. Curious as to where the rest of the fossil was, he used a drone to guess that it was in the side of a cliff, and he managed to extract the rest of it by abseiling down from the top.”… “"I stake my life the rest of the animal is there," Etches told the BBC. Ok, so one of us found this skull?! Not a Smithsonian paleontologist? It was a normie who has a 9-to-5 job and mows his own lawn with a push mower that he bought cheap at a flea market because he can’t afford a lawn service? A regular bro who has to budget to pay rent each month? Just some dude, walking on a beach, probably wearing Crocs with socks because it was a lazy Sunday and he was only planning to run to Walmart to buy more milk for his children, then he decided it was nice out, so he stopped at the beach? …I began to wonder if the seven hours I had already invested in researching this series were all a waste, because in December 2023, this dad-bod-bro, Steve Etches, from the UK, just a normal dude with a spaghetti stain on his tee because he forgot to buy more laundry soap, discovered the unthinkable? Call me a skeptic, call me a-tinfoil-hat-wearing-kook, call me what you will, but I decided to Google search, Steve Etches UK. Thankfully homie has an uncommon last name, so I thought, “if he’s real, I should be able to find him”. To my surprise, he is real… Mr. Etches is very real. And this is where things get interesting… WHO IS MR. ETCHES?The first search results are about Mr. Etches dinosaur bones collections in museums. “What?! Did you just say boneS, as in plural? He found more than just that massive skull?”, you ask, in complete disbelief. I reply, “Yes. This dude has had his hands on more bones than Kevin Spacey”…And, it appears that Mr. Etches even owns the museum… Not only does Stevie-boy have a financial interest in discoveries, but he has been winning awards for his discoveries since 1993. He writes Scientific papers on dinosaurs and, to make the entire situation more absurd… Seven dinosaurs have been named after Steve:
I went through almost 240 images posted by visitors on Trip Advisor; 0 found “dinosaur bones”. The closest is this, which is shells and leaf imprints: I went through the 38 reviews on AllTrails.com; 0 hikers found dinosaur bones. On YouTube, I could not find any videos that showed real people discovering dinosaur bones; only shells and such: And more of the typical imprints: I’m not trying to be condescending, I think those fossils like these are awesome, but we have similar-type fossils here in Michigan in our Great Lakes: And I love them: Here’s our freshwater Great Lakes: Our Michigan fossils are everywhere. Whenever I take my kids to any lake, I obsessively fossil hunt. I have tons of bad-ass fossils that I found. Are they cool? Hell yes! Are they magnificent? Absolutely! Are they this?: No, they sure aren’t (lol). And why aren’t they that? Because, as I stated earlier, we are not the government, museums, paleontologists and those with vested financial interest in the discoveries, the Rockefellers, JP Morgan, Carnegie, and so on. READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN?Of course you are, because you are awesome and you love learning crazy sh*t that nobody else is talking about.Let’s look back at Mr. Etches, Mr. Etchy-boy, do you mind if I call you Mr. Sketchy? So, the story is, Mr. Sketchy, found all 2,800+ of this fossils at Kimmeridge Bay, a restricted access, SSSI Conservation Site in England. Sketchy is a dude who has dinosaurs named after him, discovered nearly a dozen new species, owns a museum and found this first-ever-discovered-most-complete-skull.. but… the plot thickens… [insert DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNN! sound effect] This specific area, where homie found this skull, just-so-happens to also be a “UNESCO World Heritage Site”, which means it is a United Nations protected site. UNESCO stands for “United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization”. This also means, The site is maintained by the International World Heritage Program, administered by the UNESCO World Heritage Committee. So, according to the news, Mr. Sketchy was “walking near the cliffs and found the tip of the snout. Curious as to where the rest of the fossil was, he used a drone to guess that it was in the side of a cliff, and he managed to extract the rest of it by abseiling down from the top.” - Let’s recap this; Mr. Sketchy was walking near cliffs and saw a dinosaur nose sticking out of the ground. He happened to have a drone with him, so he flew the drone over the side of the cliff to evaluate the snout. He then (you can’t make this sh*t up), hooked up a rope system (which he also happened to bring with him) and scaled down the cliff. I made us an image so we can understand it better: And he somehow he, “extracted the rest of it” from the side of the cliff… I guess it must have wiggled loose, because you can’t bring hammers to this protected site… I’m shocked he was even allowed to go rock climbing. Here’s him balancing it on his knee as he climbs back up the rope: The oddities don’t end there. Check out this 2-minute news report from Australia, about Stevie’s find, that says, “Paleontologists have unearthed a giant skull of a sea monster” Let me point out one more thing about Kimmeridge Bay: Mr. Sketchy’s Kimmeridge Bay findings, you know, the place where he found ALL (meaning 100%) of his 2,800+ discoveries, (that all must have washed up on shore because you’re not allowed to dig or bring a hammer), includes these, which are a huge motivation for people to pay to visit his museum (and also pay the government $5 to use the toll road leading to Kimmeridge bay): Would you find it peculiar if I told you… There is no mention of Sketchy Steve’s history making discoveries by the United Nations… the United Nations who oversees this World Heritage Site… the United Nations who is responsible for protecting it… the conservation zone which this bro hauled almost 3,000 fossils out of, then used to open a flippin’ museum? One of those fossil-hauls being the most complete skull of a Pliosaur! Think about that, this dude discovered never-before-seen species on this property and there is 0 mention of this accomplishment by the UN? Or 0 repercussions for violating the rules? The rules specifically say we can only have fossils that wash up on the shore. No arrest? No investigation? If you want the link for the videos mentioned in this Substack just DM, reddit blocks it. The Substack name is Agent131711 |
2024.04.05 08:56 Basic_Peace How to understand when proxies are lying: verification of physical locations of network proxies using an active geolocation algorithm
 | https://preview.redd.it/536wcqm5zlsc1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=52cd987242feaba5cdb9f66208e000ac6e262c4d submitted by Basic_Peace to Network [link] [comments] People all over the world use commercial proxies (residential proxy) to hide their true location or identity. This can be done to solve various tasks, including accessing blocked information or ensuring privacy. But how correct are the providers of such proxies when they claim that their servers are located in a certain country? This is a fundamentally important question, the answer to which depends on whether it is possible to use a certain service at all for those customers who are concerned about protecting personal information. A group of American scientists from the Universities of Massachusetts, Carnegie Mellon and Stony Brook published a study in which they checked the real locations of the servers of seven popular proxy providers. We have prepared a short summary of the main results. Introduction Proxy operators often do not provide any information that could confirm the accuracy of their statements about the location of servers. IP-to-location databases usually confirm the advertising theses of such companies, however, there is a large amount of evidence of errors in these databases. In the course of the study, American scientists estimated the location of 2,269 proxy servers operated by seven proxy companies and located in a total of 222 countries and territories. The analysis showed that at least a third of all servers are not located in the countries that companies claim in their marketing materials. Instead, they are located in countries with cheap and reliable hosting: The Czech Republic, Germany, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom, and the United States. Server locations analysis Commercial VPN and proxy providers can affect the accuracy of the IP-to-location databases – companies have the ability to manipulate, for example, location codes in router names. As a result, marketing materials may claim a large number of locations available to users, whereas in reality, to save money and improve reliability, servers are physically located in a small number of countries, although IP-to-location databases indicate the opposite. To check the real locations of the servers, the researchers used an active geolocation algorithm. It was used to evaluate the roundtrip of a packet sent to the server side and to other well-known hosts on the Internet. At the same time, only less than 10% of the tested proxies respond to ping, and scientists could not run any measurement software on the server itself for obvious reasons. They only had the ability to send packets through a proxy, so the roundtrip to any point in space is the amount of time it takes for a packet to reach from the test host to the proxy and from the proxy to the destination. https://preview.redd.it/ow29ntv7zlsc1.png?width=831&format=png&auto=webp&s=06d57fac413f2e05565a2bf1db597500ce8bc429 During the research, specialized software was developed based on four active geolocation algorithms: CBG, Octant, Spotter, and hybrid Octant/Spotter. The solution code is available on GitHub. Since it was impossible to rely on the IP-to-location database, the researchers used a list of RIPE Atlas anchor hosts for the experiments – the information in this database is available online, it is constantly updated, and the documented locations are correct, moreover, hosts from the list constantly send ping signals to each other and update roundtrip data in a public database. The solutions developed by scientists is a web application that establishes secure (HTTPS) TCP connections over an unsecured HTTP 80 port. If the server is not responding to this port, then a failure will occur after one request, however, if the server is responding to this port, the browser will receive a SYN-ACK response with the TLS ClientHello packet. This will trigger a protocol error, and the browser will display the error, but only after the second roundtrip. https://preview.redd.it/k7ldkvxazlsc1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7f5d39193362bc16c59e0e1dbb7864a4e457261 Thus, the web application can measure the time of one or two roundtrips. A similar service was implemented in the form of a program run from the command line. None of the tested providers names the exact location of their proxy servers. At best, cities are mentioned, but most often there is information only about the country. Even when the city is mentioned, incidents can occur – for example, researchers studied the configuration file of one of the servers called usa.new-york-city.cfg, which contained instructions for connecting to a server called chicago.vpn-provider.example. So you can more or less accurately confirm only that the server belongs to a specific country. Results Based on the results of tests using the active geolocation algorithm, the researchers were able to confirm the locations of 989 of the 2,269 IP addresses. In the case of 642, this could not be done, and 638 are definitely not in the country where they should be according to the assurances of the proxy services. More than 400 of these false addresses are actually located on the same continent as the declared country. https://preview.redd.it/a2urdtbizlsc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=a9f1226e6ab10c9457e1186e07a92b9875cf968c Suspicious hosts were found on each of the seven providers tested. The researchers asked the companies for comments, but they all declined to communicate. |
2024.04.05 03:16 rdk67 Spring Day 16: Queer Eating Customs
(This text was written in 2015, mild edits this evening.)
1
My first costume was edible – I wore a necklace made of hard candy and smoked a cigarette made of a different sort of hard candy, one that tasted like Pepto-Bismol. My sister wanted to eat the costume with me, but in the end, I ate it myself. Even the elastic string.
The second costume was also edible, mostly, and so I ate it, too. It was a tricorns pirate’s cap made from newsprint. Newsprint isn’t the best paper to use for costumes, but it’s fairly easy to chew and swallow.
Compare it to the plastic buttons on the duck costume that followed. The duck was dressed in an old fashioned sailor’s suit, and the buttons were flatly indigestible. I diced them into the tiniest pieces possible, placing each bit on my tongue, along with a drizzle of peanut oil, and down it went.
As I matured, swallowing became a kind of hand climbing, each action so deliberate and final and, ultimately, forgettable in aid of the very next gesture. By the time I’d finished my Day of the Dead mask and suit, and the swathes of Mardi Gras beads (swallowing them whole by this time, like frozen grapes) – I felt my whole body could see farther than my eyes, than anyone’s eyes. I began to look deliberately for greater challenges.
Armor is not cheap. The suit of armor I had my eye on was going to require assistance, and it’s frankly impossible to convince a loan officer that knighthood is a credible investment instrument, which is not even to mention the eating of it. Did I get it down? Would I be here, talking to you now, had I not? I feasted on it for a month, the price reduced to coin-sized bites and, in the end, seeming very reasonable.
Other costumes followed – Ri, Feng, Mei, Li, Ming Long, Xui Li, Hui, Hui Zhong, Xu Gaun, Ming Rong, Zhi Peng, and I performed a Chinese dragon dance before an appreciate audience, but the banquet that followed was mine alone.
The firefighter’s uniform (complete with air tank) was also mine alone, as was the handsomely beaded wedding gown, the veil coming apart like a poor excuse.
If you make a commitment such as this – to eat your exterior, to make your outsides your insides, to swallow your façade like some insatiable Klein Bottle – then you must be comfortable with aloneness. Your sense of sufficiency must need no permission, nor should you suppose that others will ever join you. You will be tempted to reveal yourself to everyone, thinking they will accept you as some highly advanced member of the species.
They will not. They. Will. Not.
Once, when I still doubted this, I ate the clothes off my back. On a whim. It was a summer day, and all the cloth seemed so fragrant and delicate, so perfectly in keeping with the warm fuzzy fronds of the park landscaping, I tore apart the shirt and had it down in a matter of minutes. I was halfway through the pants when the police arrived.
Being called indecent by the State does not lead to its worst punishments, but I could not have imagined a worse insult.
Things are different now. Given all that I know about myself, if not the State, I now regard it as something of a compliment. If they are what they call decent, then what I am is most definitely not.
2
Let us pause for a moment to mention the world renowned pica-ist, Michel Lotito. You’ve heard of him – he’s the one who ate the airplane.
He ate the shopping carts, the TVs, the bicycles – 18 of them supposedly – and supposedly part of the actual Eiffel Tower.
Pica is a compulsion, and those who suffer from it experience an unaccountable craving for dirt, glass, metal, other earthy debris.
It is an illness of both the mind and body, and dear Michel had the foresight to suppose that people would pay to watch the illness ravage him. Indeed, he did devour an airplane – the airplane passed through his body inch by inch – over the course of 2 years.
And is that his greatest achievement? Or is it that he ate constantly for more than 700 days straight, for most of his waking life, as a matter of fact? Or is it that he experienced such constant satisfaction from his suffering?
Perhaps your satisfaction comes from the experience of beauty or gratitude. Now imagine that satisfaction being renewed every several minutes of the day for your entire life. How near to heaven does this get us? Michel experienced his heaven on earth . . . which is to say – yes, you know what’s coming – a sort of hell.
Am I living there with dear Michel? I do not suffer from pica; that much I know. My enjoyment from eating my costumes is as complex as reading a novel or traveling to a foreign land, and no greater than the enjoyment of selecting and wearing them.
Take the deep-sea diver. I did not pick him because he was an overly kind man or even very interesting at the level of . . . what would you call it? Personality?
It started because I noticed how much he disliked canned food, how he would skip whole aisles in the grocery store. That’s interesting, isn’t it?
He owned a chow dog and a small terrier, and he would stand outside at dusk, clapping his hands together to keep the birds from roosting in his trees.
And he had a fondness for the teenage girl next door and looked for excuses to help her, and he collected gold coins issued by the U.S. Mint and daydreamed about finding true love and collected video compilations made by storm chasers.
Can you see how irresistible the deep-sea diver suit would be? How I had to have it?
The negotiation was easy enough – obviously he desired a long, mysterious journey to find love, as most everyone does. In return, I received the deep-sea diving costume. The thing was even heavier than the suit of armor, at least on land, and I never felt stronger while wearing it.
He’d been a welder, so I tried my hand at underwater welding. The flickering blue light was like the first moments of waking from a dream.
I fondled the golden coins. I clapped my hands at dusk. And tornadoes tore across the land.
Can you see how the actual eating of the deep-sea diving costume was but one color of the rainbow? One glory among many?
The story becomes more complicated from here. I felt like I awoke from a lifetime of interiors. I felt the end of every anxiety, like the silencing of some epical sound.
3
Hams, butts, loins, backs, and briskets were on one side. Hocks, feet, and tongues were kept in jars on the counter.
The longest wall was reserved for the sausages, organ cheeses, and red puddings – so many of these that you might have thought the butcher shop was located in a zoo.
It wasn’t – cattle, swine, and sheep mostly. Deer during certain seasons. Goat for certain parties. A possum once, for a recipe old enough to be your great great grandfather’s.
The butcher wore a wrap-around apron thick enough to stop bullets. He was built like an ox but regarded his body in the most human terms imaginable.
Thus, as he gentrified the beasts with his carving knife, sending their quarters to so many silver spoons, did he also daydream about the price per pound of his own shoulder blades, the steaks that could be made from his muscular thighs, the spiced meat that could be packed in his intestines.
He was not embarrassed by these thoughts, but he did not give them out, not to the customers, nor the thief who ran the cash register, nor the dusty out-of-work cowboy who swept the floors, nor the bounding angels that visited his alleyway in the form of hungry dogs.
He kept his thoughts to himself.
The butcher refused to negotiate his costume. Even when I reminded him that it was bound to lose its value over time, penny by penny, pound by pound, until it was nothing more than stew meat.
He was glad of who he was.
So I spoke to the butcher shop instead. It used to be a donut place and before that, a pawn shop, and before that, a haberdashery.
Becoming a butcher’s store had been something of a shock, but then the entire neighborhood was passing through the same sort of transformation, a whole new cast of characters, a reimagined place.
I offered the butcher’s store a first-rate tanning salon on the other side of town, with 40 full-spectrum tanning beds.
It accepted, vacated, and I took its place, directing everything that happened there.
I was now the butcher, the thief, the cowboy, the decorous meats, the customers’ vainglorious desires, the jars unscrewed, reached into, re-screwed, the loud smack of chops cleaved on a wooden cutting board, knives diving into the rose-colored drink, again and again, like boys at a lake on a perfect summer day.
Was any of this legal? Theft? Kidnapping? Cannibalism? Maybe a counterfeiting charge would stick in some jurisdictions.
In truth, I have been charged many times, but in point of fact, human beings file charges constantly. It is one of their seminal characteristics.
Why me? Of all the luck. Damn it. Goddamn it. Damn it all to hell. I’m tired of this shit. Perhaps the worst are the monosyllabic noises. Huh? Huh? What? Like mouse droppings in a silverware drawer. Huh? Yeah?
A customer, of such means that virtually no one in history could have conceived of him as anything but royalty, examines a piece of raw hip flesh, abstracted from the animal that drew it, glances at the price, and says, You gotta be kidding me. You gotta be . . . kidding me.
Well . . . yes and no. Somewhere at that moment, a vigilante tanning salon was exacting its revenge.
The butcher shop did well, with plenty of repeat business. From a culinary perspective, repeat business is fine, up to a point, but then the flavors begin to grow stale, and the textures lose their snap, and an irritation grows with every turn of the Open and Closed sign.
Open for what? Closed how?
At night, I assumed the imperial leadership of the hordes of E. coli that colonized the place, bright little fingerprints of asexual life seeking only the hot comfort of a bowel movement in which to build their peak civilization. Imagine the guilt I felt about ignoring their trillions of prayers, night after night.
How much time passed this way? I’m not sure. It’s not like swallowing an angora sweater and being so thoroughly aware when the last hair of it goes down.
Perhaps it’s more like the feeling of waking up naked in a crowded place – a confusion, an urgency, a delight. But also, at the least, a time to take action.
I traded up for a mechanical engineering program at a public university. It felt like a nod toward sobriety, and I’ve always had a fascination for the abstract reductionist school of the culinary arts, all those planes and dots and lattices infused with flavor, something you might feed to a picky astronomer.
4
The experience of so much calculation and measurement was beguiling, like standing in the woods on a warm winter’s day when everything is melting. Listen! Is it food? Music? Both?
After expanding my attention to the other engineering programs – electrical, nuclear, computer, aerospace – there are so many! – industrial, agricultural, civil – I arrived at a very strange conclusion. The engineering college was a sort of uniform, and every event that took place there had its own position and momentum, down down down, as far as the eye could see.
So, food and music, yes, but something more. I was dressed up in . . . chance.
Would there be coffee in the breakroom at 3pm? It was up to me. I could drain every drop by evincing thirst for it among just the right number of people.
Would the ventilation fan in the lab remain true during a particular noxious exothermal reaction? A decision no more difficult to make than the coffee.
Should the lead researcher on a bio-synthesis project, with great implications or cancer treatment, be given the inspiration he needs to earn a Nobel Prize? Would the clerical in Room 234 of the Material Sciences Lab find love?
We must be very quiet about this. There are only so many places one can hide, after which . . . I hate to imagine.
But when one is forever eating one’s way out of house and home, there are always moments of truth, and indigence and servitude are two I wish not to know. Still, we need to reach an understanding.
Take the plasma physicist with erectile dysfunction who was studying molten fluoride salts and potential containment vessels.
Take the literal rocket scientist with Catholic guilt who was constructing metamaterials that would impede frost buildup at preorbital velocities.
Take the passive-aggressive tendencies of the nuclear chemist specializing in the discharge of gamma rays during thorium decay.
Take the far-right political convictions of the ceramic fabrications lab technician, the secret bisexual history of the visiting particle physicist, the South Korean student body’s ambivalent relationship with its parents.
How many moments of truth are in these stories? The more you think of it, the more you realize what a trick that question is, that every moment of truth is surrounded by other moments of truth that soon become so densely packed into every breath and bite that truth itself becomes not much more than the word we give it, certainly no more than the moments themselves.
Yes, process philosophy, I know, more words, bushels of them, dumped over the head of anyone who asks about this.
But take a deep breath and the mystery remains, the way some gray, innocuous verb – reflect, believe, praise – may be transmuted to a profundity that shines upon some metaphorical stage or pillar for a thousand years.
What we have made is not the truth or the beauty or the love, but the thousand years.
The engineering college turned out to be a sort of first course of a campus-wide meal that quickly filled the table – exotic maths and philosophies, homespun social theory and pedagogies, business and the fine arts and anthropology barely across the street from each other.
And so many tidbits in between – crowds of artists and scholars in residence, so many centers for critical study, competing interdisciplinary committees on such and such, a Greek shindig every now and then.
It all felt like something from a lacquered painting.
5
Once, I spent the better part of a day following a woman whose job it was to change light bulbs on campus. Most of the light bulbs contain toxins, and there are elaborate, legislated rituals related to their handling and disposal.
She carried a book of maps and a stepladder, and she traveled from building to building, restoring light to the benighted.
Her manner was exquisite, an ability to reduce her existence to almost nothing, to drift around a room the way shadows do in the fullness of a sunny afternoon, to recede and recede to the very edge of being before some tap or click or buzz sends a ripple through the surroundings, followed by a sudden, welcome abundance.
Very often, those present for the moment would spontaneously testify. Ahhh, they would say, as light filled the air again. Thank you! they would exclaim. Hallelujah! they would practically sing.
And she stood there just a few feet above, illuminated like something unearthed and unbroken, knowing that the gratitude was for more than her, happy to help it on its way.
-The End-
Postscript
I could have followed anyone. The man who tended the plants – this is what he did – pushed a large silver cart loaded with water, fertilizers, portions of protection, and an array of instruments that might have been aiming for brain surgery in their next lifetime, such was the smart click and gleam of their mechanisms.
He was the charioteer of the campus atria, bald as a bump on a log but a hero to the plants whose lives he routinely saved. A god even, living so far outside of his own wet clothing of time as to be known only by the miracles he left behind.
He ate a golden delicious apple every day at lunch, and polished the leaves of the dieffenbachia with a piece of lint-free dry cloth he kept in his shirt pocket, and when he showered water on the plants from the nozzle of the sprayer, he imagined his grandchildren playing outdoors or vacations in Hawai’i or firefighting.
He had love in his heart, and I daubed my finger in the love and touched each droplet with it as the water shot through the air, painterly highlights to suggest the weight of the moment.
And then, on a whim, I followed the fog straight into the soil, the root hairs lunging at me with their lusty kisses. And so I was kissed.
submitted by rdk67 to MetaphysicalWeather [link] [comments]
1
My first costume was edible – I wore a necklace made of hard candy and smoked a cigarette made of a different sort of hard candy, one that tasted like Pepto-Bismol. My sister wanted to eat the costume with me, but in the end, I ate it myself. Even the elastic string.
The second costume was also edible, mostly, and so I ate it, too. It was a tricorns pirate’s cap made from newsprint. Newsprint isn’t the best paper to use for costumes, but it’s fairly easy to chew and swallow.
Compare it to the plastic buttons on the duck costume that followed. The duck was dressed in an old fashioned sailor’s suit, and the buttons were flatly indigestible. I diced them into the tiniest pieces possible, placing each bit on my tongue, along with a drizzle of peanut oil, and down it went.
As I matured, swallowing became a kind of hand climbing, each action so deliberate and final and, ultimately, forgettable in aid of the very next gesture. By the time I’d finished my Day of the Dead mask and suit, and the swathes of Mardi Gras beads (swallowing them whole by this time, like frozen grapes) – I felt my whole body could see farther than my eyes, than anyone’s eyes. I began to look deliberately for greater challenges.
Armor is not cheap. The suit of armor I had my eye on was going to require assistance, and it’s frankly impossible to convince a loan officer that knighthood is a credible investment instrument, which is not even to mention the eating of it. Did I get it down? Would I be here, talking to you now, had I not? I feasted on it for a month, the price reduced to coin-sized bites and, in the end, seeming very reasonable.
Other costumes followed – Ri, Feng, Mei, Li, Ming Long, Xui Li, Hui, Hui Zhong, Xu Gaun, Ming Rong, Zhi Peng, and I performed a Chinese dragon dance before an appreciate audience, but the banquet that followed was mine alone.
The firefighter’s uniform (complete with air tank) was also mine alone, as was the handsomely beaded wedding gown, the veil coming apart like a poor excuse.
If you make a commitment such as this – to eat your exterior, to make your outsides your insides, to swallow your façade like some insatiable Klein Bottle – then you must be comfortable with aloneness. Your sense of sufficiency must need no permission, nor should you suppose that others will ever join you. You will be tempted to reveal yourself to everyone, thinking they will accept you as some highly advanced member of the species.
They will not. They. Will. Not.
Once, when I still doubted this, I ate the clothes off my back. On a whim. It was a summer day, and all the cloth seemed so fragrant and delicate, so perfectly in keeping with the warm fuzzy fronds of the park landscaping, I tore apart the shirt and had it down in a matter of minutes. I was halfway through the pants when the police arrived.
Being called indecent by the State does not lead to its worst punishments, but I could not have imagined a worse insult.
Things are different now. Given all that I know about myself, if not the State, I now regard it as something of a compliment. If they are what they call decent, then what I am is most definitely not.
2
Let us pause for a moment to mention the world renowned pica-ist, Michel Lotito. You’ve heard of him – he’s the one who ate the airplane.
He ate the shopping carts, the TVs, the bicycles – 18 of them supposedly – and supposedly part of the actual Eiffel Tower.
Pica is a compulsion, and those who suffer from it experience an unaccountable craving for dirt, glass, metal, other earthy debris.
It is an illness of both the mind and body, and dear Michel had the foresight to suppose that people would pay to watch the illness ravage him. Indeed, he did devour an airplane – the airplane passed through his body inch by inch – over the course of 2 years.
And is that his greatest achievement? Or is it that he ate constantly for more than 700 days straight, for most of his waking life, as a matter of fact? Or is it that he experienced such constant satisfaction from his suffering?
Perhaps your satisfaction comes from the experience of beauty or gratitude. Now imagine that satisfaction being renewed every several minutes of the day for your entire life. How near to heaven does this get us? Michel experienced his heaven on earth . . . which is to say – yes, you know what’s coming – a sort of hell.
Am I living there with dear Michel? I do not suffer from pica; that much I know. My enjoyment from eating my costumes is as complex as reading a novel or traveling to a foreign land, and no greater than the enjoyment of selecting and wearing them.
Take the deep-sea diver. I did not pick him because he was an overly kind man or even very interesting at the level of . . . what would you call it? Personality?
It started because I noticed how much he disliked canned food, how he would skip whole aisles in the grocery store. That’s interesting, isn’t it?
He owned a chow dog and a small terrier, and he would stand outside at dusk, clapping his hands together to keep the birds from roosting in his trees.
And he had a fondness for the teenage girl next door and looked for excuses to help her, and he collected gold coins issued by the U.S. Mint and daydreamed about finding true love and collected video compilations made by storm chasers.
Can you see how irresistible the deep-sea diver suit would be? How I had to have it?
The negotiation was easy enough – obviously he desired a long, mysterious journey to find love, as most everyone does. In return, I received the deep-sea diving costume. The thing was even heavier than the suit of armor, at least on land, and I never felt stronger while wearing it.
He’d been a welder, so I tried my hand at underwater welding. The flickering blue light was like the first moments of waking from a dream.
I fondled the golden coins. I clapped my hands at dusk. And tornadoes tore across the land.
Can you see how the actual eating of the deep-sea diving costume was but one color of the rainbow? One glory among many?
The story becomes more complicated from here. I felt like I awoke from a lifetime of interiors. I felt the end of every anxiety, like the silencing of some epical sound.
3
Hams, butts, loins, backs, and briskets were on one side. Hocks, feet, and tongues were kept in jars on the counter.
The longest wall was reserved for the sausages, organ cheeses, and red puddings – so many of these that you might have thought the butcher shop was located in a zoo.
It wasn’t – cattle, swine, and sheep mostly. Deer during certain seasons. Goat for certain parties. A possum once, for a recipe old enough to be your great great grandfather’s.
The butcher wore a wrap-around apron thick enough to stop bullets. He was built like an ox but regarded his body in the most human terms imaginable.
Thus, as he gentrified the beasts with his carving knife, sending their quarters to so many silver spoons, did he also daydream about the price per pound of his own shoulder blades, the steaks that could be made from his muscular thighs, the spiced meat that could be packed in his intestines.
He was not embarrassed by these thoughts, but he did not give them out, not to the customers, nor the thief who ran the cash register, nor the dusty out-of-work cowboy who swept the floors, nor the bounding angels that visited his alleyway in the form of hungry dogs.
He kept his thoughts to himself.
The butcher refused to negotiate his costume. Even when I reminded him that it was bound to lose its value over time, penny by penny, pound by pound, until it was nothing more than stew meat.
He was glad of who he was.
So I spoke to the butcher shop instead. It used to be a donut place and before that, a pawn shop, and before that, a haberdashery.
Becoming a butcher’s store had been something of a shock, but then the entire neighborhood was passing through the same sort of transformation, a whole new cast of characters, a reimagined place.
I offered the butcher’s store a first-rate tanning salon on the other side of town, with 40 full-spectrum tanning beds.
It accepted, vacated, and I took its place, directing everything that happened there.
I was now the butcher, the thief, the cowboy, the decorous meats, the customers’ vainglorious desires, the jars unscrewed, reached into, re-screwed, the loud smack of chops cleaved on a wooden cutting board, knives diving into the rose-colored drink, again and again, like boys at a lake on a perfect summer day.
Was any of this legal? Theft? Kidnapping? Cannibalism? Maybe a counterfeiting charge would stick in some jurisdictions.
In truth, I have been charged many times, but in point of fact, human beings file charges constantly. It is one of their seminal characteristics.
Why me? Of all the luck. Damn it. Goddamn it. Damn it all to hell. I’m tired of this shit. Perhaps the worst are the monosyllabic noises. Huh? Huh? What? Like mouse droppings in a silverware drawer. Huh? Yeah?
A customer, of such means that virtually no one in history could have conceived of him as anything but royalty, examines a piece of raw hip flesh, abstracted from the animal that drew it, glances at the price, and says, You gotta be kidding me. You gotta be . . . kidding me.
Well . . . yes and no. Somewhere at that moment, a vigilante tanning salon was exacting its revenge.
The butcher shop did well, with plenty of repeat business. From a culinary perspective, repeat business is fine, up to a point, but then the flavors begin to grow stale, and the textures lose their snap, and an irritation grows with every turn of the Open and Closed sign.
Open for what? Closed how?
At night, I assumed the imperial leadership of the hordes of E. coli that colonized the place, bright little fingerprints of asexual life seeking only the hot comfort of a bowel movement in which to build their peak civilization. Imagine the guilt I felt about ignoring their trillions of prayers, night after night.
How much time passed this way? I’m not sure. It’s not like swallowing an angora sweater and being so thoroughly aware when the last hair of it goes down.
Perhaps it’s more like the feeling of waking up naked in a crowded place – a confusion, an urgency, a delight. But also, at the least, a time to take action.
I traded up for a mechanical engineering program at a public university. It felt like a nod toward sobriety, and I’ve always had a fascination for the abstract reductionist school of the culinary arts, all those planes and dots and lattices infused with flavor, something you might feed to a picky astronomer.
4
The experience of so much calculation and measurement was beguiling, like standing in the woods on a warm winter’s day when everything is melting. Listen! Is it food? Music? Both?
After expanding my attention to the other engineering programs – electrical, nuclear, computer, aerospace – there are so many! – industrial, agricultural, civil – I arrived at a very strange conclusion. The engineering college was a sort of uniform, and every event that took place there had its own position and momentum, down down down, as far as the eye could see.
So, food and music, yes, but something more. I was dressed up in . . . chance.
Would there be coffee in the breakroom at 3pm? It was up to me. I could drain every drop by evincing thirst for it among just the right number of people.
Would the ventilation fan in the lab remain true during a particular noxious exothermal reaction? A decision no more difficult to make than the coffee.
Should the lead researcher on a bio-synthesis project, with great implications or cancer treatment, be given the inspiration he needs to earn a Nobel Prize? Would the clerical in Room 234 of the Material Sciences Lab find love?
We must be very quiet about this. There are only so many places one can hide, after which . . . I hate to imagine.
But when one is forever eating one’s way out of house and home, there are always moments of truth, and indigence and servitude are two I wish not to know. Still, we need to reach an understanding.
Take the plasma physicist with erectile dysfunction who was studying molten fluoride salts and potential containment vessels.
Take the literal rocket scientist with Catholic guilt who was constructing metamaterials that would impede frost buildup at preorbital velocities.
Take the passive-aggressive tendencies of the nuclear chemist specializing in the discharge of gamma rays during thorium decay.
Take the far-right political convictions of the ceramic fabrications lab technician, the secret bisexual history of the visiting particle physicist, the South Korean student body’s ambivalent relationship with its parents.
How many moments of truth are in these stories? The more you think of it, the more you realize what a trick that question is, that every moment of truth is surrounded by other moments of truth that soon become so densely packed into every breath and bite that truth itself becomes not much more than the word we give it, certainly no more than the moments themselves.
Yes, process philosophy, I know, more words, bushels of them, dumped over the head of anyone who asks about this.
But take a deep breath and the mystery remains, the way some gray, innocuous verb – reflect, believe, praise – may be transmuted to a profundity that shines upon some metaphorical stage or pillar for a thousand years.
What we have made is not the truth or the beauty or the love, but the thousand years.
The engineering college turned out to be a sort of first course of a campus-wide meal that quickly filled the table – exotic maths and philosophies, homespun social theory and pedagogies, business and the fine arts and anthropology barely across the street from each other.
And so many tidbits in between – crowds of artists and scholars in residence, so many centers for critical study, competing interdisciplinary committees on such and such, a Greek shindig every now and then.
It all felt like something from a lacquered painting.
5
Once, I spent the better part of a day following a woman whose job it was to change light bulbs on campus. Most of the light bulbs contain toxins, and there are elaborate, legislated rituals related to their handling and disposal.
She carried a book of maps and a stepladder, and she traveled from building to building, restoring light to the benighted.
Her manner was exquisite, an ability to reduce her existence to almost nothing, to drift around a room the way shadows do in the fullness of a sunny afternoon, to recede and recede to the very edge of being before some tap or click or buzz sends a ripple through the surroundings, followed by a sudden, welcome abundance.
Very often, those present for the moment would spontaneously testify. Ahhh, they would say, as light filled the air again. Thank you! they would exclaim. Hallelujah! they would practically sing.
And she stood there just a few feet above, illuminated like something unearthed and unbroken, knowing that the gratitude was for more than her, happy to help it on its way.
-The End-
Postscript
I could have followed anyone. The man who tended the plants – this is what he did – pushed a large silver cart loaded with water, fertilizers, portions of protection, and an array of instruments that might have been aiming for brain surgery in their next lifetime, such was the smart click and gleam of their mechanisms.
He was the charioteer of the campus atria, bald as a bump on a log but a hero to the plants whose lives he routinely saved. A god even, living so far outside of his own wet clothing of time as to be known only by the miracles he left behind.
He ate a golden delicious apple every day at lunch, and polished the leaves of the dieffenbachia with a piece of lint-free dry cloth he kept in his shirt pocket, and when he showered water on the plants from the nozzle of the sprayer, he imagined his grandchildren playing outdoors or vacations in Hawai’i or firefighting.
He had love in his heart, and I daubed my finger in the love and touched each droplet with it as the water shot through the air, painterly highlights to suggest the weight of the moment.
And then, on a whim, I followed the fog straight into the soil, the root hairs lunging at me with their lusty kisses. And so I was kissed.
2024.04.04 19:37 mdthrowaway42069 I’m 24, make $50,000 as a paralegal in NYC, and spent $4,182.71 on a solo trip to Japan!
Hey everyone! I had a lot of fun posting my MD last year, so I decided to write up my first big girl vacation.
Aside from random day trips, this is my first-ever solo trip and my first time in Japan. I had a lot ~feelings~ leading up to it--can I handle solo traveling, will the language/cultural barrier make me feel isolated, do I even "deserve" to spend all this money on myself (this in particular I've spent a lot of time in therapy unpacking 🥲)--so join me on the financial and emotional journey!!
Age: 24
Occupation: Paralegal (same job, still unfulfilled ✨)
Hometown: Originally a Midwestern city; currently live in NYC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: Current balance is 17 days. After your first year you accrue 18 days each calendar year with that amount scaling up based on how long you've stayed with the firm. We have lots of paid firm holidays, so I only used 8 days of PTO for this trip due to us being off for Good Friday.
Savings account balance: $2,201.17 in a regular account and $12,798.98 in a HYSA as of 03/18 (thank you all for pointing out how insane it was that I didn't have one in my previous MD lol).
Checking account balance: $511.11 in my regular checking account and $500 in a Charles Schwab checking account (that I opened just for this trip to take advantage of 0 ATM fees!) as of 03/18
Credit card debt: None! I pay off my balance in full every month.
Student loan debt: $5800 for public unsubsidized loan (which I make no payments for on the SAVE plan, at least for now) and $12,000 for private loan (which my parents are paying off as a gift) both for my liberal arts bachelor's degree.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: For full transparency, my parents still pay for my aforementioned private student loan, health insurance, cell phone, Spotify, occasional Ubers, and now therapy, in addition to other gifts like flights home to visit. They did not contribute to this trip, but it would be very difficult for me to afford it without their financial assistance.
$1547 for a round-trip, nonstop flight from JFK to HND in economy--ideally would have been booked with credit card points, but I didn't have many at the time. I booked a non-refundable ticket partially because I am cheap, but mostly because I wanted to force myself to take this trip & not chicken out. Please do not follow my example.
Accommodations:
Pre-Vacation Spending:
I did an Am*z*n order for travel essentials:
DAY -1:
DAY 1:
DAY 2:
DAY 3:
DAY 4:
DAY 5:
DAY 6:
DAY 7:
DAY 8:
DAY 9:
DAY 10:
DAY 11:
Accommodation: $850
Food + Drink: $319.16
Fun / Entertainment: $239
Shopping: $737.26
Other: $244.66
GRAND TOTAL: $4,182.71
It's weird--while this trip had a lot of emotions behind it, once I was there I mostly felt...normal? I had several friends joke that this was my "eat pray love" moment, but it wasn't the trip itself that ~changed my life~ (it probably did, but not in a way I can immediately recognize); it was the booking & planning of it--choosing to take time (and money!) towards traveling. Even though I felt uncomfortable talking about it, it was nice to (somewhat) let go of the idea I had that people (including myself!) think I'm frivolous, or unserious, etc., for doing this trip and doing it alone. Money is very emotional!
If you got to the end of this, thanks for reading! <3
submitted by mdthrowaway42069 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
Aside from random day trips, this is my first-ever solo trip and my first time in Japan. I had a lot ~feelings~ leading up to it--can I handle solo traveling, will the language/cultural barrier make me feel isolated, do I even "deserve" to spend all this money on myself (this in particular I've spent a lot of time in therapy unpacking 🥲)--so join me on the financial and emotional journey!!
Section One: Bio
Most of these details are the same as my last MD, so I'll try to be brief.Age: 24
Occupation: Paralegal (same job, still unfulfilled ✨)
Hometown: Originally a Midwestern city; currently live in NYC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: Current balance is 17 days. After your first year you accrue 18 days each calendar year with that amount scaling up based on how long you've stayed with the firm. We have lots of paid firm holidays, so I only used 8 days of PTO for this trip due to us being off for Good Friday.
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Retirement Balance: $7,117.41 in my 401k and $1,072 in a Roth IRA.Savings account balance: $2,201.17 in a regular account and $12,798.98 in a HYSA as of 03/18 (thank you all for pointing out how insane it was that I didn't have one in my previous MD lol).
Checking account balance: $511.11 in my regular checking account and $500 in a Charles Schwab checking account (that I opened just for this trip to take advantage of 0 ATM fees!) as of 03/18
Credit card debt: None! I pay off my balance in full every month.
Student loan debt: $5800 for public unsubsidized loan (which I make no payments for on the SAVE plan, at least for now) and $12,000 for private loan (which my parents are paying off as a gift) both for my liberal arts bachelor's degree.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: ~$2900 after taxes and 8% contribution to my 401k--I'm paid $25.50 per hour and my paychecks vary.Any Other Monthly Income Here: For full transparency, my parents still pay for my aforementioned private student loan, health insurance, cell phone, Spotify, occasional Ubers, and now therapy, in addition to other gifts like flights home to visit. They did not contribute to this trip, but it would be very difficult for me to afford it without their financial assistance.
Section Four: Travel Expenses
Transportation:$1547 for a round-trip, nonstop flight from JFK to HND in economy--ideally would have been booked with credit card points, but I didn't have many at the time. I booked a non-refundable ticket partially because I am cheap, but mostly because I wanted to force myself to take this trip & not chicken out. Please do not follow my example.
Accommodations:
- $275.16 for 4 nights ($68.79/night) in Shinjuku (Tokyo)
- $218.52 for 3 nights ($72.84/night) in Kyoto
- $352.35 for 3 nights ($117.45/night) in Asakusa (Tokyo)
Pre-Vacation Spending:
I did an Am*z*n order for travel essentials:
- $19.99 power bank
- $39.99 travel pillow
- $13.99 for 3 pairs of compression socks
- $31.99 for 6 compression packing cubes
- $25.99 foldable duffel bag
- $34.99 Bluetooth headphone jack adapter (to use my Airpods with the flight entertainment system!)
- $24 for AirTag to put in checked bag
Travel Diary
Just a note that anything charged to my card will be exact amounts that were converted to USD. I won’t count any individual cash purchases in my daily totals—just cash withdrawals—but will put the price in yen for my daily entries. For reference, the current exchange rate is about ¥150 = $1. For my grand totals, I'll be splitting my cash withdrawals 50/25/25 between food, shopping, and entertainment--I cannot be bothered to do the real math.DAY -1:
- I'm on a Tuesday 1:50 AM flight which made planning this trip very weird. I’m in a rush to finish getting ready, so I get delivery for dinner ($19.62).
- I’m lowkey freaking out as I say goodbye to my roommate—I can’t believe I’m doing all this ALONE—but calm down in the Uber to JFK ($0 courtesy of the bank of mom & dad). While I wait to board, I grab two liters of bottle water. ($13.78)
- Board flight and take off only 10 minutes behind! I usually get motion sick on long flights, so my mission is to do everything I can to prevent throwing up. I get up constantly to move around, meaning I don't get much sleep, but I don't throw up. Mission accomplished!
DAY 1:
- Land in Haneda at 5:30 am. Customs and baggage pickup all go smoothly, but I take forever finding my pocket wifi. I locate an ATM and take out ¥30,000 in cash ($203.67).
- I freshen up (scent of the day is Atelier Cologne’s Bergamot Soleil), add ¥5000 to my digital Suica card ($33.58), and take the subway to Shinjuku. I knew Japanese transit was nice, but wow am I impressed by the trains!!!
- I get to my hotel around 9:00 am and drop off my bags. I planned nothing for today, but I eventually decide to wander around Don Quijote. I find a Kirby plush section and send pictures to my younger brothers; they immediately request which ones they’d like me to bring back. I’m confused why they’re up past their bedtime but I’m no snitch!
- Walk to eggslut to get breakfast. Horrible coffee, but good sandwich! ($9.97)
- Wander around Hands. I want to buy a coin purse for all my yen but only find fancy expensive ones, but do find an umbrella I like ($29.29). I sit in their bathroom for 30+ minutes to give my feet a rest.
- More wandering around department stores. I find a jacket in Uniqlo that I really love but hold off on buying it.
- It starts raining, so I run into a 7-Eleven to get some tea (¥120) and dry off. I’m shivering despite the fact that I’m wearing a very warm wool sweater, but on the bright side, my new umbrella works great!
- Walk back to Uniqlo to rectify my horrible mistake ($42.36). I wear the jacket out of the store and realize it has pockets inside the pockets! Incredible.
- I’m hungry again, so I get lunch at Sushiro. I order 3 different kinds of sushi with raw squid and realize that I hate raw squid. Most of the other sushi isn’t that great either, but I’m happy to have a cheap lunch ($8.79)
- Rain finally stopped, so I walk to Shinjuku Gyoen for a change of scenery (¥500). I watch a gaggle of artsy high schoolers do a photo shoot with a mostly-bare sakura. Never change, artsy high schoolers!
- Finally time to check-in! I flop into bed and turn on the TV. So glad to be horizontal again.
- Wake up from nap (sleep?) 4 hours later. I think about grabbing dinner, but I’m so tired I just eat the remainder of my plane snacks. I try to stay up but pass out again 30 minutes later.
DAY 2:
- Wake up to my alarm, fall back asleep, and wake up again around 10 am. Frankly, could sleep more as I’m pretty exhausted, but I decide to sit upright in bed a few more hours before I gather the strength to go outside.
- I’m feeling a little sick, but thankfully I remembered to bring some cold meds from home (possibly illegally?) just in case. I take my time getting ready and picking out my perfume (scent of the day is Snif’s Golden Ticket) while I wait for my Dayquil to kick in.
- Walk to Kirimugiya Jinroku as I’m craving some hot broth to relieve the sickiness—I burn the roof of my mouth, but the udon and tempura are so amazing that I don’t care (¥1450).
- I feel sleepy all over again but press on to Koenji for some thrifting. Most of the stores stock overpriced 80s American vintage, but I still have a good time browsing. I am, however, horrified to hear Shawn Mendez and Imagine Dragons—these are our great cultural exports??? I think not.
- My stomach is a little upset so I decide to grab some tea (¥140) and take the subway back to rest.
- As I lie in bed, I’m frustrated again that I have no good way to keep track of my coins—where does a woman buy a reasonably priced coin purse??? I go on the Hands website and see that they sell coin organizers for ¥1000 (yay!) but are out of stock at most stores nearby (boo) except for the Shibuya location. I decide to head there tomorrow.
- Fall asleep around 7 (oops!), wake up at midnight, and decide to go back to bed instead of heading out again. My appetite and energy are completely gone.
DAY 3:
- Wake up around 9 am and start getting ready. I’m frustrated I’ve been slow-moving—being by myself means I don't feel pressure to do as much, which is nice, but I’m already feeling some FOMO. Scent of the day is Diptyque’s Philosykos which immediately brightens my mood—the power of perfume!
- Konbini breakfast of hojicha, cod roe onigiri, and an egg sandwich (¥613). I’m not usually a fan of egg salad (or anything with mayo), but Japanese mayo and eggs really are amazing!
- Walk to Meiji Jingu. I no longer regret sleeping so much the past 2 days—I feel so reenergized by this beautiful weather!! I get there around 11:30, later than I wanted, but it’s not as crowded as I thought. I get a fortune (¥100) that seems positive and a charm to stay safe while driving (¥1000)—I barely drive these days, but I need all the help I can get. I take a moment to sit and people watch—I could stay here all day!
- …but I can’t, so back to walking. I pay ¥500 to go inside the gardens. Most of the plants are dead but it’s still nice.
- I walk by the donated sake barrels (very pretty!) and out the exit towards Yoyogi Park. I look around for sakura, but no dice—lots of buds, but no blooms aside from one tree. I give my feet a rest and watch a giant crow/raven(?) terrorize some ducks. (Seriously, there are so many huge black birds here in Tokyo! No one warned me!!)
- I’m starving and a predictable tourist, so I decide to go to Kura Sushi to see if it’s any better than Sushiro. When I get there it’s a 120 minute wait(!) but I say screw it; there’s no way it’ll be that long for a party of one. (Reader, I was wrong.) There’s a lot of cool teenagers in the waiting area and they all have bangs—should I get bangs?? I do have the forehead for it. Much to think about.
- Finally eat two hours later. Dare I say it’s worth it? 20 decent-quality pieces for ~¥2100 is a good deal! ($15.31)
- Walk around Omotesando, then down Cat Street to Miyashita Park. I hang out on the roof a bit but am very intimidated by all the cool kids there!!! These girls do school uniforms way better than I did—the ties with the oversized sweaters and sweatpants under the skirt with scrunched socks is all very much a vibe.
- I figure I’m obligated to do Shibuya Crossing and see Hachiko. It’s WAY smaller than I thought and filled with people. Glad I did it, but happy to never go back again.
- I remember my mission from yesterday and head to Hands. I find my coin organizer, then get distracted, and walk out with mascara, two lip tints, and travel sizes of J-Scent’s Hojicha and Yuzu—these are $50 apiece back home! ($67.27) I get a tax refund of ~¥900 in cash.
- I'm tired and my feet hurt, but I decide to stop at a bar I saved called Grandfather’s. Very moody basement bar with a very talented DJ! People are chainsmoking and I think about how cool and chic it would be if I had a smoke, but I don’t smoke and don’t want to embarrass myself by coughing up a lung, so I settle for two Sidecars and some chips (¥2640). I stare enviously at a man who lights his cigarettes with matches. So cinematic. So cool.
- While I’m there, I chat with an older Japanese woman who is delightful. She tells me this bar has been here for 50+ years and the guy doing the music is the owner—she had a boyfriend who worked here 20 years ago, so she used to come all the time, but the owner does not remember her!! I am deeply offended on her behalf. It starts to get crowded and I’m a little tired, so after an hour and a half I thank her for the wonderful convo and add her on Line.
- I take the subway back and think about ~keeping the good vibes going~, or even buying a pack of smokes to practice (???? sober me hates cigarettes, but tipsy me sure does love the idea of them!), but I realize I stink and am grossed out. Never mind, smoking is deeply uncool!
- I swing by the konbini for snacks and bath salts as I feel like taking a hot soak (~¥900). My hotel room has a Japanese unit bath where you’re supposed to shower outside the tub (there’s a drain in the floor for this), THEN get in the tub once you’re clean, but as I am a disgusting American, I shower inside the tub before filling it up.
- Enjoy my bath with some matcha ice cream—this is the height of luxury!!!—before heading to bed.
DAY 4:
- Wake up at 9:30, feeling a little hungover. Yes, I only had two drinks; I am sadly a lightweight and a failure to my Irish ancestors. SOTD is J-Scent’s Yuzu which definitely helps wake me up.
- I leave for Kyoto tomorrow, so I try to reserve a seat for the train there on the app, but every card I put in gets rejected. 😭 After that crushing defeat, I head out around 12:30 and take the subway to Ginza.
- I’m starving, so before I do anything I go to Yomoda Soba for soba and curry. Possibly the fastest meal of my life? (~¥900)
- Time to shop! I visit the 12-floor Uniqlo flagship, expecting it to be extra cool and big, but it isn’t that much different than the 5th Ave flagship back in New York—dare I say it is worse because of how small each floor is! I do get a nice discount on some Heattech, a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt though ($41.43).
- More wandering! I step inside Itoya which is a delight, and get a goshuincho ($10.93). In hindsight I really should have thought about getting one before I went to Meiji Jingu. Oh well!
- I visit some stores, looking for this shade of Canmake eyeliner, and I cannot find it ANYWHERE. What gives?? I take it as a sign to head back.
- I decide to walk the extra 15 mins to Tokyo Station to buy tickets for the shinkansen tomorrow. I wait in line and get my express ticket & seat reservation, realize the price seems suspiciously cheap, and after some Google learn I ALSO need to buy a standard train ticket, which means waiting in line. Again. ($95.17)
- Subway back to Shinjuku! I stop by the same Donki from my first day to get two Kirby plushes for my brothers ($33.37).
- I grab a bottle of tea from the lobby vending machine (¥140), drop my shit, and flop in bed. I am hangry and do not want to deal with figuring out dinner tonight—decision paralysis is a bitch. I see I have a gyoza place saved and decide to head there for dinner. Thank you, past me!
- Wait outside Gyoza no Fukuho for about 20 minutes, then order boiled & pan-fried gyoza (pan-fried is definitely the way to go!), cucumber with miso paste (so simple! so good!), and shochu with soda and lemon. So far being on my own has been a blast, but being the only person dining alone makes me wish my friends were here to experience this. (¥1420)
- Pit stop at the konbini for dessert and this low ABV peach drink (¥809) before I go back to my room. I planned on doing Omoide Yokocho, Golden Gai, and some lesbian bars in Nichome at some point during the first third of this trip (I was VERY optimistic on how quick I would adjust lol), but I’m not feeling it. I contemplate what to do for my last night here…and fall asleep with my makeup on, peach drink unopened. I guess the answer is nothing!
DAY 5:
- It’s a travel day! I wanted to get packed last night, but past me decided otherwise, so I am rushing to leave. I do remember to put on perfume—SOTD is 1900 L’Heure de Proust by Les Baines Guerbois. As I tidy, I do a quick taste test of my peach drink (very sweet, but good) and check out at 10:00 am on the dot—at least I’m not late?
- Quick konbini breakfast of pickled plum onigiri, egg sando, and tea ($3.48) before I take the train to Tokyo Station.
- I get lost trying to find the normal entrance, then get lost finding the Studio Ghibli store (which I finally figure out is in the basement—there’s a line to get in, to which I say fuck that, but I have a nice time gazing at the merch from outside), then get lost again trying to find a place to buy bentos (turns out they’re past the shinkansen entrance—I get a bento with eel, my favorite, and tea for $11.62), then get lost finding my train station platform…and miss my train. I find a station attendant and ask if I’m able to change my ticket—he says I would have to pay again to reserve a seat, but with my ticket I can walk onto the next shinkansen and sit in the non-reserved section. Crisis averted!! I’m able to get a window seat (on the side facing away from Mt. Fuji—normally a bummer, but it’s so cloudy you can barely see it anyway) and enjoy my ride to Kyoto, surprisingly motion-sickness free.
- It’s still rainy and gross and I don’t feel like dealing with the bus with my luggage, so I grab a taxi ($9.92). My driver is chatty and I feel insecure about how little Japanese I know, yet pleasantly surprised that I’m able to pick up bits and pieces of his Japanese mixed with English.
- The front desk has me pay a tourist tax ($3.97) before I can get to my room and unpack. It seems like it’s going to be rainy and gross for the rest of my trip, so I’m not motivated to spend much time outside. I try to reframe my mindset to think about how “atmospheric” and “peaceful” the rain will be.
- I decide to have dinner at a sukiyaki spot near the Takase River, but they say they’re full, so instead I put my name down at Huromon Chiba down the street. While I wait, I watch some drunk businessmen yell at passerbys as they walk home—it’s 6:00 pm on a Sunday, but hey, we’ve all been there.
- Finally get in an hour and a half later. Only when I’m given an English menu do I realize that half of it is organ meats. I’m a little hesitant, but when in Rome, right? I don’t mind tripe in my pho—what’s some fourth stomach and heart?? Everything is delicious and I leave absolutely stuffed. (~¥4300)
- I planned on staying out later (Kyoto at night is gorgeous!), but I’m so tired from all the meat that I head back to the hotel.
DAY 6:
- Good morning! A running theme in this trip—I wanted to get up early as I plan on hiking to the top of Mt. Inari today, but I am a sleepy woman and struggle to get out of bed. (So sleepy I forget to put on perfume!!) While I wait for my skincare to sink in I decide to buy my Tokyo DisneySea ticket for Thursday ($72.12).
- Eat hotel breakfast then off to Fushimi Inari! It is PACKED at the bottom, mostly with elderly European tour groups(??). Thankfully past the first few stretches of torii it clears out. I was worried about the hike as I am very out of shape, but it’s a breeze aside from the final stretch of stairs. It’s rainy and foggy, so you can’t see much from the top, but still very scenic!
- Along the hike up and down I pick up some souvenirs. At the main shrine I get a goshuin (¥1000) and a fortune (¥200)—bad luck, so I tie it up and leave it behind—and at shrines on the mountain I get a torii-shaped ema (¥1000) for my mom to use as a Christmas ornament (probably sacrilegiously?) and a charm for back pain (¥800)—happy to report that since my previous diary it hasn’t been an issue, but not taking any chances!
- Lunch is udon at Inarinadai Dohachi (¥670). The broth is oddly sweet but otherwise very good!
- My feet are killing me, so I take the train back to the hotel. Once I get there I draw a piping hot bath to soak my feet, then realize I left my fucking umbrella at the udon place!!! They’ve already closed for the day, so I'll have to go back tomorrow. 😭
- I go to Nishiki Market to eat away my sorrows. I get grilled tuna and grilled octopus (¥1000), takoyaki (¥550), and a strawberry daifuku (¥350). It’s really crowded and the food is all just ok (except for the daifuku—the strawberry really helps cut through the richness of the red bean!).
- What IS exciting is the Snoopy store & cafe!! I am not immune to overpriced character merch. I pass on food from the cafe, but walk out with a postcard, chopsticks, and chopstick rest for my roommate and a small dish for myself ($18.43).
- Wander around Teramachi Street. I stop into a random drug store and see they have the eyeliner I want in stock—fucking finally!! I’m so excited I head straight to check-out. (¥715)
- At this point I’m pooped, so I decide to go back to the hotel and get in bed, even though it’s only 8:00 lol.
- TOTAL: $90.55
DAY 7:
- Wake up at 5:30 am and cannot fall back asleep. I figure I have plenty of time before I have to get moving, but get stuck in a TikTok binge and only start getting ready at 7:30. So much for waking up early! SOTD is Hermes’s Un Jardin Sur Le Nil.
- I skip hotel breakfast and head to 7/11 instead for curry bread, salmon onigiri, and hojicha (¥513). It’s been raining all morning, but thankfully my hotel has umbrellas guests can borrow.
- Time for some temple/shrine hopping! Walk 30 mins to Kiyomizu-dera and it is uphill the. entire. way. My calves!!! It’s worth it though—it may be crowded and rainy, but it’s beautiful! I pay ¥400 for admission, ¥900 for two charms, and ¥500 for a goshuin.
- Walk down Sanenzaka and Ninenzaka, which are surprisingly empty. I take a break in Maccha House and get a matcha tiramisu and hojicha latte ($7.95).
- Back to temple hopping! I stop by Ryozen Kannon temple (¥300), which apparently is a memorial to fallen WWII soldiers. I remember my grandma’s nutjob husband talking about how he thought it was so ridiculous there were protests at a temple for WWII soldiers because people were ~so offended~ they commemorated convicted war criminals. I do some panic googling and realize he was talking about Yasukuni Jinja, not this place—to my knowledge there are no major war criminals commemorated here? I enjoy the giant Kannon statue with a mostly clear conscience.
- Walk across the parking lot to Kodaiji, pay the ¥600 entrance fee and get a goshuin (¥500). My favorite of the day!! The temple is nice, but the real appeal are the grounds surrounding it. At this point it is pouring rain, so for most of my walk I am the only person around. I enjoy the scenery in their small tea house with matcha and red bean mochi (¥500).
- The rain lets up, so I check out Maruyama Park. Most of the sakura just have buds, but there’s a few plum blossoms on their last legs. I can’t imagine what the park looks like in full bloom!! I curse the bad weather and my poor timing.
- Google Maps says I can get to Chion-in by walking uphill, but I end up in a random Buddhist temple next door—I only realize when I climb a bunch of stairs and reach a dead end. The top has a great view though! The magic of ~getting lost~.
- Finally find my way and enter through a back road. The main temple is HUGE and gorgeous on the inside! I can’t figure out where to get a goshuin, so I move on.
- Walk to Yasaka Jinja. I’m a little underwhelmed, especially since it’s so gray outside—I imagine it’s prettier at night with all the lanterns lit. I get a special pink(!) goshuin which makes up for it (¥500).
- At this point I’m starving, so I decide on zarusoba at Gion Ishi. Not my favorite—even though it comes with wasabi, without broth or dipping sauce it’s pretty bland. The tempura that comes with it is amazing though!! (¥1400) It’s at this point that I remember my lost umbrella again—by the time I take the subway towards Fushimi, the udon place will be closed again, so I consider it lost forever. RIP 03/20/24 — 03/25/24 😭
- I’m cold and my feet hurt, so back to the hotel I go. I spot a Miffy Kitchen on my walk—so cute! I get a Miffy-shaped anpan and a chocolate strawberry milk bread ($4.15).
- I enjoy my snacks while soaking my feet in the hottest water I can tolerate. Of course, this is when it decides to be beautiful and sunny outside.
- Lay down in bed and oops wake up 2 hours later. I decide to wander around Gion again. While there are some bougie historical areas, most of it is just normal urban sprawl—even kind of seedy? Lots of host clubs. While walking down an alleyway I pass by either a normal-looking geiko or a very fancily dressed normal woman. We both stare at each other for an uncomfortably long time.
- Check out around Pontocho Alley—this time I 100% spot a geiko (or maiko? can't fully tell)! Very cool; her kimono looks extremely heavy. I think about getting real dinner at one of the restaurants here, but decide to head straight to a bar I saved called Bar Beetle.
- I wait outside for a good 30+ minutes (and make friends with others in line!) before I can grab a seat. I enjoy a Moscow Mule, a highball, and salami & cheese ($21.83) to some great records. The owner asks if I have a request—I ask for anything by Prince, but he already has Raspberry Beret queued. Our minds! So in-sync! In the bathroom I see a sign saying his dream is to open a bar in Brooklyn, so we have a nice chat about that—I tell him I will be one of the first to go when it opens!
- I leave after last call, thanking the owner profusely. I grab a melonpan, chocolate taiyaki, and Pocari Sweat to wolf down in the hope of preventing a hangover ($3.19). I planned on packing when I got back, but I’m so sleepy and drunk that I tell myself that I’ll handle it in the morning.
DAY 8:
- Wake up feeling tired but fine? Than you Pocari Sweat! I take my time getting ready (SOTD is Parisian Musc by Matiere Premiere) and still manage to be out the door before 9:50 am.
- Konbini breakfast of egg sando, cod roe onigiri, and warm hojicha (~¥600) before I take a taxi to Kyoto Station ($11.91). Really sad to be leaving!
- I grab a reserved train ticket ($95.05) with plenty of time to grab food and find my platform—I eventually decide on pork katsu ($8.68).
- Take the shinkansen back to Tokyo. I manage to spot some of Mount Fuji—there is still a lot of cloud cover, but hey, I’ll take it.
- By the time I'm done navigating Tokyo Station again (a scary thing to relive) and take the subway to my next hotel, it's just in time for check-in! I unpack and change, then have a crisis over how I look, realize it’s the bad lighting, still feel weird, but decide to soldier on because I am #brave, then take the bus to Ueno Park an hour and a half later. #justgirlythings 😙✌️
- I stroll down Sakura-dori in Ueno Park. There’s a couple sakura scattered around that have started to bloom, including a weeping cherry, but nothing close to full bloom—damn you, cold snap!! There’s still lots of people picnicking under the trees. I admire their dedication.
- After checking out some closed temples/shrines, I head to Ameyokocho—lots of neat little restaurants and izakayas! I stop at a yakitori place for dinner. I get various kinds of chicken and pork, smashed cucumbers, and grilled squid with two oolong shochus. ($20.11) Even though I'm seated in the back corner, completely isolated, I still have fun.
- I’m borderline drunk, and after passing by some karaoke places, I say fuck it, let’s do some karaoke alone! I get a lemon highball to accompany one hour of my renditions of Beyonce, Madonna, and No Doubt ($17.14).
- Long walk back to the hotel. It’s at this point I have my first true emo moment on this trip. I’m having so much fun, but I miss being around familiar people, I miss my apartment, I miss NY!!! I don’t cry (gotta stay hydrated!), but I do get very wistful as I listen to Karen Carpenter the entire way back.
- Konbini stop! I get some pistachio cannoli thing, matcha baumkutchen, chooclate chip crepe, and a bottle of Aquarius (no Pocari Sweat in stock here—here’s hoping this helps me get in shape enough to tackle The Mouse™ tomorrow) ($4.37). I enjoy my dessert in bed while streaming Fantasy High. Really helps to lift my mood! I nod off in the middle of the episode.
DAY 9:
- Up bright and early! The Aquarius worked, thank god. I’m aiming to leave by 7:30 but don’t actually start heading to the subway until 7:45. I speedwalk while eating my crepe (and enjoy my SOTD, J-Scent's Hojicha, which smells also very edible).
- As I’m sitting on the train, I’m wondering why I took one day out of my precious vacation time to do this, but then I spot Space Mountain. Never mind! We are so back! Inject this shit straight into my veins!!
- I get in line for the entrance around 15 mins before opening. So many girls around are wearing their school uniforms—why? Are they required to? Do they just like wearing their uniform on days off? Whatever the reason is, again, these girls know pull them off!
- Finally enter around 9:40. I immediately pay for an express pass for Journey to the Center of the Earth ($9.92) and snag a 40th Anniversary Pass (similar to old Fastpass…those were the days) for 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea for around the same time.
- I wander around for a bit--the park is so beautiful! I pass by Soarin’ which has a THREE HOUR wait already.
- I’m hungry, so I get in line for a gyoza bun (delicious) and iced oolong tea (bad—tastes a little like Coke?) ($5.29). When I leave, the line is nearly an hour long. Insanity!
- Stand in line for Aquatopia for about 45 minutes. It’s a cute ride, but wouldn’t have waited that long under normal circumstances.
- More wandering! I get a kick out of the Cape Cod/New York areas—so cute!
- I’m hungry again, so I mobile order fried chicken (which is basically a breaded chicken thigh—so good!), fries, and a black tea ($8.47). While I eat I’m able to book a new 40th Anniversary Pass for the Nemo simulator ride around 4:30.
- By the time I finish eating it’s time for 20,000 Leagues and Center of the Earth. Center of the Earth is incredible but about 30 seconds too short in my opinion. 20,000 Leagues is possibly my fave of the day? It’s so atmospheric—you really feel like you’re underwater.
- I check out the Little Mermaid-themed kids area. Gorg! It started raining so it’s nice to hang out somewhere dry. I hear an instrumental of Part of Your World and get emo thinking about Howard Ashman.
- No time to be sad! Time for another ride! Temple of the Crystal Skull has a single rider line, so I skip the 150 minute wait. Really wish more rides here had them!
- At this point I’ve ridden everything on my list (that are open, at least—so many are closed for maintenance!!), so I think about buying a weeknight passport for Tokyo Disneyland. Is it ridiculous to spend an additional ¥6200 for only 4 hours at another park? Perhaps! But I’m on vacation, the wait times don’t seem too horrible, and it’s supposed to rain for the rest of the day so hopefully people will leave…I think it over while I look for a place to buy an umbrella. (If only I had my old one with me! Fly high, queen!)
- Find a poncho ($5.95) and reach the level of delulu where I say fuck it, let’s go right now! I cancel my Fastpass for Nemo. I keep getting an error when I try to buy tickets through Disney, so instead I buy it through Klook ($72.18).
- Get to Disneyland at 3:00 pm sharp! I have 6 hours to cram in as much as I can. This is my Super Bowl. First stop is Roger Rabbit! 40-minute wait turned out to be close to an hour.
- I’m peckish and notice a popcorn stand has no line, so I get a bag of pistachio popcorn ($2.65). It just tastes like kettlecorn.
- I scarf my popcorn down while waiting in line for Pinocchio—it’s only a 25 minute wait and I’m a sucker for classic dark rides.
- It’s at this point that I must make a big decision: do I aim for Splash Mountain, Monsters Inc, or Beauty and the Beast? The latter has the longest line at 180(!) minutes, but is top of my must do. Hmmm. I go to Gaston’s Tavern to mull this over and get a beef stew meat pie and an apple-caramel churro ($8.47).
- I decide that I do not value my time, sanity, and wellbeing and get in line for Beauty and the Beast. It ends up only (only! 😫) being a 2 hour wait. 100% worth it! A beautiful dark ride based off one of my fave Disney movies…how could I not love it? So many cool animatronics.
- I have an hour and a half left until close, so I scurry over to Monsters Inc. with the hope of fitting in maybe one more ride after. The wait ends up taking the full posted 80 minutes. Oh well!
- Walk to the Monorail to take the subway back. My dogs? They are barking. My legs? Also hurt. Everything hurts.
- On the walk from the station to the hotel, I pass by a konbini and grab a curry bun, strawberry ice cream, chocolate cake, tea, and water ($6.15). I immediately lay on my bed and enjoy my dessert horizontal. Feels amazing to be off my feet!
- As soon as I’m done eating I pass out. Good night!
DAY 10:
- Wake up around 8:30. It’s supposed to rain all morning, so I take my time getting ready and do some strategizing—I have a LOT of souvenir shopping to do! SOTD is Deux from Trudon which is very calming.
- I pull ¥10,000 from 7-11 ($66.89) as I’m low on cash before I head towards Senso-ji. Big temple! Very cool! I get a fortune (¥100) (just okay) and more charms for family (¥2000).
- Walk along Nakamise-dori. Very crowded and mostly full of souvenir stands, but thankfully there are very few people on the side streets. I decide to get some key chains for my brothers (¥1450) before walking back up towards Senso-ji to get a goshuin (¥500).
- Lunch time! I go to Tatsunoya for a delicious & very filling pork katsu set (¥1300). It’s served with yellow-orange paste that I assume is miso, so I take a huge glob of it, then realize when my nose starts burning it’s wasabi. Ouch. My sinuses have never been more clear.
- It’s finally sunny, so I walk to Sumida Park, which apparently is great for hanami, but I wouldn’t know as most of the sakura haven’t bloomed!!!! Oh well. The view of the Sumida River is great though!
- My feet are already killing me, so I go back to the room to drop some of my stuff & do a quick hot soak. While I’m on my phone I see Beyonce is in Shibuya doing signings for her new album??? So random. Tempted to go as I’m a big fan, but time is precious.
- Off to Kappabashi-dori! I get a bunch of ceramics and some chopsticks ($73.15), some for me but mostly for others.
- Drop shit in room, add ¥1000 to my Suica ($6.62), and off to Harajuku for more shopping. In hindsight, really wish I swapped my hotels for the first and last third of this trip! This 40 min subway ride is not it.
- Go to Kiddyland to find Sonny Angels. They are out.
- Walk to Pop Market to get a figure for a friend ($11.12). I ask if they have Sonny Angels in stock. They do not.
- Quick break from the search! I go to Onitsuka Tiger and get a pair of Mexico 66s for myself ($106.85).
- Back to souvenir shopping. Pick up some makeup for me and other random souvenirs for friends at Loft—still no Sonny Angels! ($61.86)
- Big haul of KitKats and random souvenirs at the Mega Don Quijote, Sonny Angel-less. ($106.07). Jesus fucking christ! Will have to bring back something else for the friends who requested them.
- Finally take the subway back to the hotel. I’ve reached a level of foot pain where I’ve transcended the concept of feet. I check my step count and see today surpasses my temple-hopping day in Kyoto. Insane. I pass through Senso-ji on my walk from the station—so pretty at night!
- Finally get to the room and realize I am ravenously hungry. I decide on ramen and gyoza from Kibitaro (~¥1700). Pretty good!
- Final konbini stop (~¥1500) of crème brulee ice cream, a matcha waffle, egg sando, salmon onigiri, green tea, and a bottle of water. I soak my feet again (not up for a full-body bath) and eat my dessert very sadly. Can’t believe I’m leaving!
- Pack most of my stuff and try to stay up as late as possible before finally succumbing to sleep at 3 am.
DAY 11:
- Good morning! Time to get ready for the airport. I don’t get out of the hotel until 8 am, but I'm not stressed--I have plenty of time!
- Take forever to find the elevator entrance for the Asakusa Line, hop on the subway, think after an hour hmm, doesn’t seem like we’ve reached the airport yet…then look at the map and see that we PASSED the airport and I’m halfway to Yokohama. 😭😭😭 Unlike my train from Haneda, I needed to transfer at a previous stop. Google Maps did not tell me this! What the fuck!
- I get off at the next stop, lowkey freaking out as I board my flight soon, get to the airport 45 minutes later, and am at my gate shortly after as checking my bag and security took all of 5 minutes. Thank god.
- As I have some extra time, I grab some last-minute souvenirs ($61.54) and spend my remaining bills at 7-Eleven (~¥2000)—I still have a bunch of coins, but I'm counting this as a win—and get to my gate just in time for boarding. I am so sweaty and stressed. If only me from a few hours ago knew what was in her future.
- Time for the long flight back! I’m seated next to a VERY chatty West Point student which helps make the time pass. I watch a bunch of movies and take mini-naps.
- Land 12 hours later and it’s 11:00 am…again! Feels like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Breeze through customs, grab my bags, and take an Uber back to my apartment ($0 —thank you parents!). Seeing the familiar surroundings is so strange—it’s really sinking in that this trip is OVER! Happy to be home, but sad to have left.
- Get home and as my roommate isn’t here to help me stay awake, I immediately fall asleep while watching the new Drag Race ep.
Trip Totals
Transport: $1792.63Accommodation: $850
Food + Drink: $319.16
Fun / Entertainment: $239
Shopping: $737.26
Other: $244.66
GRAND TOTAL: $4,182.71
Reflection
I gave myself a big budget for this trip, but WOW did I spend a lot! It was worth every penny, but it does make me wonder how much I spend in my daily life that I would rather put towards travel. I don't have a dedicated travel fund but will have one going forward. (At the same time, looking at other people's savings on here makes me think I should nix the travel fund entirely in favor of contributing more towards retirement...or I could just do both lol.)It's weird--while this trip had a lot of emotions behind it, once I was there I mostly felt...normal? I had several friends joke that this was my "eat pray love" moment, but it wasn't the trip itself that ~changed my life~ (it probably did, but not in a way I can immediately recognize); it was the booking & planning of it--choosing to take time (and money!) towards traveling. Even though I felt uncomfortable talking about it, it was nice to (somewhat) let go of the idea I had that people (including myself!) think I'm frivolous, or unserious, etc., for doing this trip and doing it alone. Money is very emotional!
If you got to the end of this, thanks for reading! <3
2024.04.01 19:53 Independent-Yard-756 Reviewing my finances over the past year
Hi all. I am writing a post primarily to reflect on the finances. It might be a long post, a bit hectic since I am trying to formulate what I think, but it is what it is, and I try to keep a very realistic image. Also, maybe someone could benefit from it or have a further discussion, since I really care about this part, and ideally I'd like to have some outside opinion, since I really don't discuss that much with other people, not at that level of details. Also, I made likely a lot of stupid mistakes, since I was really procrastinating this area (after all, it's very deep and demands a lot of psychological resolutions as well).
So, as part of my recent 2-year agenda, I have been trying to "unscrew" my life. Though, it wasn't particularly bad, and in some areas quite good, but I feel like I was still significantly inefficient, and with a lot of "low-hanging fruits" so to say. One part of it was to analyse the working regimen: when, how long do I work, on what types of projects, etc. It's quite easy, since I always record 25 minute chunks by Pomodoro, and I record divided per my "areas of life". For instance, I'd record "Finances calculate" and then I'd see all the stats over the past 2 years about what activities I was actually doing. Yesterday I have reflected on the 40h week, and why it's a myth, and what are the "subcomponents" that influence the work (for instance, it's not only quantity, but also intensity and accuracy/useful effect of work, which are much harder to measure and strategize). Either way, that is the first part, and it's tangentially relevant to my finances. Obviously, the work hour (however "bad" and inaccurate this measure could be) => income hour, and it's also in the time continuum would be important for future financial decisions.
Income and wealth:
Currently, I have ~3600 euro after tax (incl 13th salary), which would last for another ~2 years (since in a PhD, and really don't see a lot of ++ in salary growth). Note, that it was also increased just 3 months ago by ~500 euros (so before, it was really around ~2800-2900e/month). I have inherited in Russia an appartment, which was rented while I was studying for income, and then sold, since the economy there is not worthwhile for keeping the property in. The final price was 118k euros, about in mid-2022. Currently, from that appartment, I have around 36k euros. They were and are invested in wealth management, mid-risk, so it's about 12% growth (really started in the October or so).
The constant drainage on the wealth was making me crazy, so that's partially why I am in this "hurt, but recovering" state, hopefully with some experience and potential to recover (financially, morally, in terms of general life well-being). Now, the price could have been even higher, but a lot of it was spent.
Expenses (over the past year):
Now, I didn't really keep the books about the expenses prior to that one year, but these expenses could characterize how I was spending the money. Also, they are not 100%, but about 95% or so, give or take, take note. I will go category by category, and hopefully that would help me with accepting and going on, with being smarter.
====Necessary monthly expenses==== : ~2047e/month
These are really the necessary expenses, which just must be paid as they are, mostly.
- Rent/amenities - 875e/month + ~60e heat/energy + 112 internet = 1047e (or about a third)
per 60 sqm with 2 terraces appartment (living w/ a wife). Generally, quite nice appartment, nice location, low prices, so quite enough. I could consider myself lucky on that (though, could have been 300e if lived in a studio, but ok - not enough for 2 people, and also unlikely).
- Groceries - ~900-1000e (about another third)
Per two persons, with a lot of protein, carbs, etc. Could have been "smarter" in terms of eating more of the food, without some occasional spoiled batches of vegetables etc. Even then, a lot of healthy food, meats, nuts, chips (ok, quite expensive)
- Bureaucracy/documents - ~50e/month
Quite critical for keeping the documents in order. Mostly just takes a lot of time however, but sometimes demands money to pay for the certificates, etc., in certain months.
====Not necessary, but quite useful expenses==== : ~510e/month
- Cleaning - ~60e/month
Twice a month cleaning, unloads a lot of our work time, which is better spent on other things.
- Home renovations/improvements - ~2000-4000e total (over the past year) => ~300-400e/month
Includes furniture, decoration, etc. Some of it purely decorative, some functional. Helps a lot. For instance, I have 3 monitor screens for my work, and it boosts my productivity. Makes the life a lot more comfortable. A huge upfront expense however. Also makes me less mobile, since I am unlikely to change appartment. Some of it is related to a hobby/leisure (see below).
- Clothing - ~1000e/year => 100e/month
Not critical, but the clothing is quite cheap since it's non-commercial brand and my wife knows how to find good fit clothing. Thus, an expense critical, and likely will stay for a while low, since I bought a lot of the clothing for myself.
====Leisure activities ==== : ~2050e/month
Here, I will describe all the expenses that are purely leisure. Some are "good" (that are healthy, almost necessary for proper well-being) and some are "bad" (like quite a lot of drinking at the restaurants or ciagarettes).
- Hotels - ~400e/month average => mostly 600-1400e on some months.
- Travel tickets - ~200e/month, but again, mostly 400-800e on specific months when we travelled.
The two are obviously related. Travels were really a big chunk of why I have overdrafted my budget. Now, since my wife was away in Russia and getting a visa, we somewhat HAD to travel together in 3rd places (like Georgia). But even then, there were a number of dumb mistakes, like "I have the money, I want to fly business class and stay 5-star, since it's relatively cheap (compared to e.g., Amsterdam, which is by itself was overpriced, lol)". We had travelled to around 14 cities over this period. Now, I don't know if it's either the travels should have been budgeted better (i.e., couldn't have been REALLY made 50-60% reductions), or that we simply couldn't afford that much travelling, but definitely there were made some mistakes and/or unaffordable (money- and time-wise). Furthermore, as a doctoral student, I am travelling 1-3 times a year per job (compensated), so that was really over the top in that regard as well.
- Bars and restaurants - ~550e/month (varies from ~300 to 1100 on some months) A lot of my resting (before I started trying calculate the finances, in March 2023), involved me and my wife just eating out, drinking 2-3 bottles there (obviously overpriced), then taking taxi back home.
- Uber eats/food delivery - ~200-300e/month
We often ordered food, sometimes 50-70e per order, while we were at home, and lazy to cook (after hangover). Plus, we often wanted to eat as a way of resting. Plus when travelling, it's likely that we'd order food delivery, sometimes several times (since it got old and we didn't want to finish it).
-Uber taxi - ~100-300e/month
I generally don't like public transport, since in Russia it was quite cheap, but then it accumulates, if you travel all the time from museum A to museum B for instance. Not all of that was over-the-top, but like 80-90% of this expense could have been removed.
-Hobby/leisures - ~200-600e/month Now this category is quite approximate. I usually buy it from Amazon. However, this can be considered a truly "good" investment in a sense that I usually prefer buying books, I started microelectronics hobby (though, then overdrafted on the time budget), and generally this helped me making a transition from bars/restaurants towards other types of activities. Obviously, they are also quite expensive, but often I find them "transferable" into my potential to grow the future incomes (since I am also trying to draw from these books, become a better socializer, understand better about the world, etc.) Again, maybe 10-20% of the reductions could have been made here (since I bought some things, which are really non-sensical for me to maintain time-/effort-wise, but *CONSUMERISM HITS HARD*, and I was spared too much on this front, I believe?).
-Shopping - ~100e-200e/month
Really includes just things for me, my wife, and other things that are not really useful, but kind of neat, idk what else to say.
-Cigarettes - ~50e/month An obviously stupid thing, but I can't get it all out too fast. But, it seems more than it is, since I throw out cigarette packs often (making it look like ~10e per 1 cigarette).
====Investing into myself==== : ~1200e/month
Now, here could be also included hobby/leisures partially. But it's primarily about "serious" skill development and maintaining of health.
- Doctors - ~320e/month
Includes dental work, general practitioners, etc. Not too much detail here, but obviously an important long-term investment.
- Psychotherapy/Consultations - ~300e/month
An important subcomponent of health investments. Here I have a lot of help coming to help me dig me out of the holes in my life. Again, I can't say that currently it's terrible, but obviously with a lot of potential improvements. I think, finally, it gets me at a place, where I can improve, for instance, by having this post I can reflect and self-correct, so it's quite a skill imo. Also, if I resolve these issues now, I can cut about 80% of crap that makes me unhappy and at risk of crises, such as personal financial crisis, etc.
- Fitness - ~55e/month
Includes fitness subscription, proteins. I've also paid a fitness instructor for 20 sessions for ~600e. A crucial thing for long-term investment, plus it also makes me healthier, maintains intelligence with working out, more attractive, etc.
- French - ~330e/month
A private French tutor, who really helps me on brushing up a third language. Obviously critical for future social and career opportunities, and also develops my intelligence and knowledge.
- Tattoo - ~600-1000e/year => ~100e/month
I'd consider it a purely visual appeal boost. Not necessary, but somehow feels quite right in a way that I've always wanted. Now, not really going that much to tattoo.
- Education - ~1300e/year => ~100e/month
A thing that helps me, like reading books, doing courses, education. Diving courses are also included here, for instance.
TOTAL EXPENSES: ~5762e/month
TOTAL AVERAGE OVERDRAFT: ~2162e/month (~3000-4000e/month in the March-September).
Note that the variability in expenses is there. Plus, over the past 3-4 months really, I have been trying to minimize the overdraft by not drinking that much or going to bars/restaurants that much. Before it, the overdraft was higher, at around ~3000-4000e/month.
Now, this is also shown in my decline of the savings (I started calculating in March, where I had ~70k in savings, and now down to ~36k). Typically, I have withdrawn of around ~1.5-2k in the last three months from the savings.
REFLECTIONS/FINDINGS:
So, having the recounting out of the way, I would like to reflect. It's really quite depressing and was even more stressful to see how there were a lot of stupid mistakes. At least, having them out of the way, it could improve the situation.
I have plotted in new numbers (i.e., expected cuts to get down the overdrafting), and got about the following:
EXPENSE: REAL: CUT:
Necessary monthly expenses 2047 2047
Rent/amenities 1047 1047
Groceries 950 950
Bureaucracy/documents 50 50
Not necessary, but useful 510 165
Cleaning 60 60
Home renovations/improvements 350 35
Clothing 100 70
Leisure activities 2100 435
Hotels 400 80
Travel tickets 200 40
Bars and restaurants 550 40
Uber eats/food delivery 250 50
Uber taxi 200 0
Hobby/Leisures 300 150
Cigarettes 50 0
Shopping 150 75
Investing into myself 1205 1105
Doctors/Health 320 230
Psychotherapy/Consultations 300 300
Fitness 55 55
French 330 330
Tattoo 100 100
Education 100 100
TOTAL SUM: 5862 3752
INCOME: 3600 3600
OVERDRAFT: 2262 152
Primarily, I find that I have withdrew a lot from the leisure activities. The final overdraft is about 150-250 euros/month. I find that it's quite hard to make it a 0 or a net positive, simply due to the necessity of going to French, visiting health/doctors. These investments are kind of must have. Plus, the education on new skills can be reocurring, since investment into myself is always a priority.
Unfortuantely, I also have planned major expenses (on dental implants), and I plan to save by going to cheaper countries, since it can be x2-x3 cheaper (w/o compromising on the quality).
The primary cut is on the hotels/travel tickets, bars/restaurants, taxi riding, cigarettes. I still retain the ability to travel to decent cheaper places (w/ a budget of 1500e/year on hotels/tickets + 350e leisure activities budget), plus I get compensated for travelling (where work output -> travelling to the conferences).
The main question, however, is whether and how I would be able to maintain that low overdraft? Should I keep like a separate account and/or just count the # of money that I've spent on things? Because for me, it seems like I have around a budget of 350e on leisures per month (for two persons). I'd not keep the necessary, not necessary/useful nor investing into myself in a separate bank account, since they are not easy to overdraft, and even then, they'd be mostly positive net return, with a little overdrafting contributing to it.
Tell me what you think about this. Thanks!
submitted by Independent-Yard-756 to personalfinance [link] [comments]
So, as part of my recent 2-year agenda, I have been trying to "unscrew" my life. Though, it wasn't particularly bad, and in some areas quite good, but I feel like I was still significantly inefficient, and with a lot of "low-hanging fruits" so to say. One part of it was to analyse the working regimen: when, how long do I work, on what types of projects, etc. It's quite easy, since I always record 25 minute chunks by Pomodoro, and I record divided per my "areas of life". For instance, I'd record "Finances calculate" and then I'd see all the stats over the past 2 years about what activities I was actually doing. Yesterday I have reflected on the 40h week, and why it's a myth, and what are the "subcomponents" that influence the work (for instance, it's not only quantity, but also intensity and accuracy/useful effect of work, which are much harder to measure and strategize). Either way, that is the first part, and it's tangentially relevant to my finances. Obviously, the work hour (however "bad" and inaccurate this measure could be) => income hour, and it's also in the time continuum would be important for future financial decisions.
Income and wealth:
Currently, I have ~3600 euro after tax (incl 13th salary), which would last for another ~2 years (since in a PhD, and really don't see a lot of ++ in salary growth). Note, that it was also increased just 3 months ago by ~500 euros (so before, it was really around ~2800-2900e/month). I have inherited in Russia an appartment, which was rented while I was studying for income, and then sold, since the economy there is not worthwhile for keeping the property in. The final price was 118k euros, about in mid-2022. Currently, from that appartment, I have around 36k euros. They were and are invested in wealth management, mid-risk, so it's about 12% growth (really started in the October or so).
The constant drainage on the wealth was making me crazy, so that's partially why I am in this "hurt, but recovering" state, hopefully with some experience and potential to recover (financially, morally, in terms of general life well-being). Now, the price could have been even higher, but a lot of it was spent.
Expenses (over the past year):
Now, I didn't really keep the books about the expenses prior to that one year, but these expenses could characterize how I was spending the money. Also, they are not 100%, but about 95% or so, give or take, take note. I will go category by category, and hopefully that would help me with accepting and going on, with being smarter.
====Necessary monthly expenses==== : ~2047e/month
These are really the necessary expenses, which just must be paid as they are, mostly.
- Rent/amenities - 875e/month + ~60e heat/energy + 112 internet = 1047e (or about a third)
per 60 sqm with 2 terraces appartment (living w/ a wife). Generally, quite nice appartment, nice location, low prices, so quite enough. I could consider myself lucky on that (though, could have been 300e if lived in a studio, but ok - not enough for 2 people, and also unlikely).
- Groceries - ~900-1000e (about another third)
Per two persons, with a lot of protein, carbs, etc. Could have been "smarter" in terms of eating more of the food, without some occasional spoiled batches of vegetables etc. Even then, a lot of healthy food, meats, nuts, chips (ok, quite expensive)
- Bureaucracy/documents - ~50e/month
Quite critical for keeping the documents in order. Mostly just takes a lot of time however, but sometimes demands money to pay for the certificates, etc., in certain months.
====Not necessary, but quite useful expenses==== : ~510e/month
- Cleaning - ~60e/month
Twice a month cleaning, unloads a lot of our work time, which is better spent on other things.
- Home renovations/improvements - ~2000-4000e total (over the past year) => ~300-400e/month
Includes furniture, decoration, etc. Some of it purely decorative, some functional. Helps a lot. For instance, I have 3 monitor screens for my work, and it boosts my productivity. Makes the life a lot more comfortable. A huge upfront expense however. Also makes me less mobile, since I am unlikely to change appartment. Some of it is related to a hobby/leisure (see below).
- Clothing - ~1000e/year => 100e/month
Not critical, but the clothing is quite cheap since it's non-commercial brand and my wife knows how to find good fit clothing. Thus, an expense critical, and likely will stay for a while low, since I bought a lot of the clothing for myself.
====Leisure activities ==== : ~2050e/month
Here, I will describe all the expenses that are purely leisure. Some are "good" (that are healthy, almost necessary for proper well-being) and some are "bad" (like quite a lot of drinking at the restaurants or ciagarettes).
- Hotels - ~400e/month average => mostly 600-1400e on some months.
- Travel tickets - ~200e/month, but again, mostly 400-800e on specific months when we travelled.
The two are obviously related. Travels were really a big chunk of why I have overdrafted my budget. Now, since my wife was away in Russia and getting a visa, we somewhat HAD to travel together in 3rd places (like Georgia). But even then, there were a number of dumb mistakes, like "I have the money, I want to fly business class and stay 5-star, since it's relatively cheap (compared to e.g., Amsterdam, which is by itself was overpriced, lol)". We had travelled to around 14 cities over this period. Now, I don't know if it's either the travels should have been budgeted better (i.e., couldn't have been REALLY made 50-60% reductions), or that we simply couldn't afford that much travelling, but definitely there were made some mistakes and/or unaffordable (money- and time-wise). Furthermore, as a doctoral student, I am travelling 1-3 times a year per job (compensated), so that was really over the top in that regard as well.
- Bars and restaurants - ~550e/month (varies from ~300 to 1100 on some months) A lot of my resting (before I started trying calculate the finances, in March 2023), involved me and my wife just eating out, drinking 2-3 bottles there (obviously overpriced), then taking taxi back home.
- Uber eats/food delivery - ~200-300e/month
We often ordered food, sometimes 50-70e per order, while we were at home, and lazy to cook (after hangover). Plus, we often wanted to eat as a way of resting. Plus when travelling, it's likely that we'd order food delivery, sometimes several times (since it got old and we didn't want to finish it).
-Uber taxi - ~100-300e/month
I generally don't like public transport, since in Russia it was quite cheap, but then it accumulates, if you travel all the time from museum A to museum B for instance. Not all of that was over-the-top, but like 80-90% of this expense could have been removed.
-Hobby/leisures - ~200-600e/month Now this category is quite approximate. I usually buy it from Amazon. However, this can be considered a truly "good" investment in a sense that I usually prefer buying books, I started microelectronics hobby (though, then overdrafted on the time budget), and generally this helped me making a transition from bars/restaurants towards other types of activities. Obviously, they are also quite expensive, but often I find them "transferable" into my potential to grow the future incomes (since I am also trying to draw from these books, become a better socializer, understand better about the world, etc.) Again, maybe 10-20% of the reductions could have been made here (since I bought some things, which are really non-sensical for me to maintain time-/effort-wise, but *CONSUMERISM HITS HARD*, and I was spared too much on this front, I believe?).
-Shopping - ~100e-200e/month
Really includes just things for me, my wife, and other things that are not really useful, but kind of neat, idk what else to say.
-Cigarettes - ~50e/month An obviously stupid thing, but I can't get it all out too fast. But, it seems more than it is, since I throw out cigarette packs often (making it look like ~10e per 1 cigarette).
====Investing into myself==== : ~1200e/month
Now, here could be also included hobby/leisures partially. But it's primarily about "serious" skill development and maintaining of health.
- Doctors - ~320e/month
Includes dental work, general practitioners, etc. Not too much detail here, but obviously an important long-term investment.
- Psychotherapy/Consultations - ~300e/month
An important subcomponent of health investments. Here I have a lot of help coming to help me dig me out of the holes in my life. Again, I can't say that currently it's terrible, but obviously with a lot of potential improvements. I think, finally, it gets me at a place, where I can improve, for instance, by having this post I can reflect and self-correct, so it's quite a skill imo. Also, if I resolve these issues now, I can cut about 80% of crap that makes me unhappy and at risk of crises, such as personal financial crisis, etc.
- Fitness - ~55e/month
Includes fitness subscription, proteins. I've also paid a fitness instructor for 20 sessions for ~600e. A crucial thing for long-term investment, plus it also makes me healthier, maintains intelligence with working out, more attractive, etc.
- French - ~330e/month
A private French tutor, who really helps me on brushing up a third language. Obviously critical for future social and career opportunities, and also develops my intelligence and knowledge.
- Tattoo - ~600-1000e/year => ~100e/month
I'd consider it a purely visual appeal boost. Not necessary, but somehow feels quite right in a way that I've always wanted. Now, not really going that much to tattoo.
- Education - ~1300e/year => ~100e/month
A thing that helps me, like reading books, doing courses, education. Diving courses are also included here, for instance.
TOTAL EXPENSES: ~5762e/month
TOTAL AVERAGE OVERDRAFT: ~2162e/month (~3000-4000e/month in the March-September).
Note that the variability in expenses is there. Plus, over the past 3-4 months really, I have been trying to minimize the overdraft by not drinking that much or going to bars/restaurants that much. Before it, the overdraft was higher, at around ~3000-4000e/month.
Now, this is also shown in my decline of the savings (I started calculating in March, where I had ~70k in savings, and now down to ~36k). Typically, I have withdrawn of around ~1.5-2k in the last three months from the savings.
REFLECTIONS/FINDINGS:
So, having the recounting out of the way, I would like to reflect. It's really quite depressing and was even more stressful to see how there were a lot of stupid mistakes. At least, having them out of the way, it could improve the situation.
I have plotted in new numbers (i.e., expected cuts to get down the overdrafting), and got about the following:
EXPENSE: REAL: CUT:
Necessary monthly expenses 2047 2047
Rent/amenities 1047 1047
Groceries 950 950
Bureaucracy/documents 50 50
Not necessary, but useful 510 165
Cleaning 60 60
Home renovations/improvements 350 35
Clothing 100 70
Leisure activities 2100 435
Hotels 400 80
Travel tickets 200 40
Bars and restaurants 550 40
Uber eats/food delivery 250 50
Uber taxi 200 0
Hobby/Leisures 300 150
Cigarettes 50 0
Shopping 150 75
Investing into myself 1205 1105
Doctors/Health 320 230
Psychotherapy/Consultations 300 300
Fitness 55 55
French 330 330
Tattoo 100 100
Education 100 100
TOTAL SUM: 5862 3752
INCOME: 3600 3600
OVERDRAFT: 2262 152
Primarily, I find that I have withdrew a lot from the leisure activities. The final overdraft is about 150-250 euros/month. I find that it's quite hard to make it a 0 or a net positive, simply due to the necessity of going to French, visiting health/doctors. These investments are kind of must have. Plus, the education on new skills can be reocurring, since investment into myself is always a priority.
Unfortuantely, I also have planned major expenses (on dental implants), and I plan to save by going to cheaper countries, since it can be x2-x3 cheaper (w/o compromising on the quality).
The primary cut is on the hotels/travel tickets, bars/restaurants, taxi riding, cigarettes. I still retain the ability to travel to decent cheaper places (w/ a budget of 1500e/year on hotels/tickets + 350e leisure activities budget), plus I get compensated for travelling (where work output -> travelling to the conferences).
The main question, however, is whether and how I would be able to maintain that low overdraft? Should I keep like a separate account and/or just count the # of money that I've spent on things? Because for me, it seems like I have around a budget of 350e on leisures per month (for two persons). I'd not keep the necessary, not necessary/useful nor investing into myself in a separate bank account, since they are not easy to overdraft, and even then, they'd be mostly positive net return, with a little overdrafting contributing to it.
Tell me what you think about this. Thanks!
2024.04.01 19:36 Tigra21 Hunter or Huntress Chapter 186: Christmas Come Early
The work had carried on above and below, and the progress was stark. On the third day following the opening of the vault, a fair few of them had returned to the keep in anticipation of Arch and possibly Galaxer arriving with their various ordered goods. Tom definitely wasn’t gonna miss it, and neither was Jacky. The warehouse had been coming along well, and the weather was holding for now. The framed walls had been erected and mostly clad, with Jarix working the saw while Yldril had flown for more timber. The young blue had in turn gone on a hunting expedition the day before once Yldril was back and able to work the saw, so they may hold a proper welcome feast for the arriving traders.
Tom was rather astonished by the rate of progress, but he supposed the Amish could raise a barn in a day, so doing it over several weeks was not much of an achievement. But they had done it alongside getting all of the wood cut and prepared to be put up, which had in reality been most of the work.
Kullinger had shown him around the new building in a bit more detail than could have been arranged previously, the carpenter eager to show anyone who made the mistake of asking about what he was clearly beginning to see as his work. It would have been hard to replace him, but the obvious metal flanges visible all throughout the building were certainly something Kullinger didn’t draw attention to during his showcase. Tom knew the man could do wooden joinery as well as the best of them, but it was a slow process. And with price being of little concern, nails and flanges it was.
‘I need to start making screws,’ he pondered to himself, thinking of the frightening difference that would have made. Though to make them in the needed quantity would be a vast amount of work. ‘Something for the factory that isn’t just killing people… a power drill would be nice too.’
The real meaning of the tour had been to kill some time. Baron had only arrived just after noon, just in time for Tom to get in a midday snack, and they had hoped the traders would arrive by late afternoon. Some work was going on, but it was half-hearted and had mostly devolved into idle chatter. Even Shiva was affected.
The hours crept on by and the light started to wane, with more and more dragonettes starting to conclude that maybe it wouldn’t be today anyway. Then the bell rang, Herron for once not sleeping at his post.
“Two dragons spotted, white and blue,” the call came down.
In an instant the keep came alive once more, the chatter flowing like beer at a tractor pull. There had hardly been the need for Nunuk and Dakota to start giving orders, everyone had started preparing for their arrivals. It would not be a full feast, but the tables would be decked extra well, many likely wanting to try some of the things they bought. Tom knew a lot of them had come together to buy some small kegs of cider, which did sound quite interesting to try out.
There had been some contention about where to get it from. The girls decided on a small bar which Ray remembered going to in the past, and the guards had been talked into buying some from Grevi’s family estate on the recommendation of the various Royal Guard present at the keep.
Tom was hoping to stay impartial in the name of becoming the judge, certainly not because he would quite like to try both, and cider was quite unlikely to cause any problems unlike last time he had indulged in alien alcohols. Though he should probably take it quite slow to start with just to see if he suffered any ill effects.
He knew Jacky had bought some stuff too, so that was likely a tactic he would have to use more than once in the near future. He hadn’t actually bought anything specifically for himself, and he had scrapped Maiko’s idea for getting Jacky and Saph a matching set of jewelry after a chat with Essy. With the green light from the older huntress, he had instead sprung for a set of earrings with dark green emeralds in them. At least that’s what he had asked for. If Vulzan had been able to deliver remained to be seen.
As the dragons drew nearer, fires were lit and spits mounted with a couple of hastily prepared whitetail deer from Jarix’s little hunt. They would all be able to get a slice, but the kitchen was also working on a few things. Jacky had been talking about how Essy was making some sort of pie or tart with berries from the same patch Saph and Fengi had stumbled upon during Yldril's first fateful logging expedition. With the use of some sugar to balance out the tartness, it should make for a pretty good bite.
‘Oh yeah, food machines, pasta makers, a blitzgel powered blender… so much potential there,’ Tom had pondered, as he tried to think of anything nice and simple which would still be new and useful to them. It was a thought for another day though.
As swiftly as the preparations had begun they soon stopped again, save for those who could not leave their posts as everyone made ready for the greeting parade. It was hardly needed with Arch and Galaxer, neither of whom seemed to be sticklers for tradition, or even decorum in Galaxer’s case, unless it suited him. But, understandably enough, no one wanted to wait too long to figure out what they had managed to get from their wish lists.
And so they all lined up. Dragonettes in front, dragons behind. Meaning Jarix and Baron, since Yldril was told to go lay down under her little pavilion, so she wouldn’t sour the moment with some rude or snarky comment.
As the traders came in for a landing it was indeed Galaxer, and Tom could feel the whole keep sigh in relief after the two dragons’ backs came into view and the elaborate fur coat of Joelina was nowhere to be found. In fact there wasn’t anyone aboard Galaxer who stood out as inquisitorial personnel, though of course that didn’t mean they weren’t. Tom guessed they were trying to keep suspicion to a minimum.
The crews had dismounted, and Vulzan along with Galaxer’s partner – Tom wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure he was called Carnegie or something close to that – had greeted the Bizmati family, who officially welcomed them to the keep. There were smiles all around and an air of anticipation as Vulzan stepped forward, Carnegie standing just behind him and to the right. Both traders had most definitely done well off this trip as well and it showed. Vulzan had a big welcoming smile on his face as he stepped towards the lined-up keep dwellers after he finished greeting Linkosta, producing a rolled-up parchment from inside his fur-lined coat, the mage stepping aside and trying to sneak a peek at the parchment.
“Very well then folks, it is good to be back out here with yah. I carry letters, news, and all manner of goods and goodies, as I am sure you all know by now. So I’m thinking we best get on with it. We have labeled the crates with names, often more than one name per box. I trust yah can all work out who’s who. When you find yah things come by me or this sprightly young gentle man here and we shall cross it from the list. Sound good?” The trader called out gesturing back at Galaxers partner.
“Yes sir,” the keep dwellers echoed in a discordant chorus. It almost reminded Tom of a summer camp roll call or something, it was quite funny all things considered.
“Very well, no pushing, some things are delicate.”
And with that, the trader stepped aside gesturing towards Arch and Galaxer. The blue dragon had been mid-wave to his son, who was watching bemused from behind the Bizmati line, and Galaxer had his eyes trained on Tom.
‘Oh does he want scritches again I wonder? Very well then, I’ll see if I can make time,’ the human chuckled to himself. The keep dwellers advanced on the dragons and their crews in a hurried but mostly orderly fashion, and then Jacky grabbed him by the arm.
“Right, come on!”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Oh this was exciting. Saph didn’t know what she had actually gotten after all, nor what it would cost. She hadn’t been too extravagant with her spending. There were many other things to spend money on after all, chief amongst them her family back at Vulcha, and maybe even her brother and sister.
She had pitched in a share for the cider that Ray had recommended, but her big ticket items had been the books she had asked for and the sapphire ring. She really hoped it hadn’t been Vulzan himself who had gone shopping for reading material. It wasn’t like she had any specific titles in mind: her request had just been for “leisure reading, not too expensive.” Hopefully Udanti or Canabrera had picked out some popular printed books for her.
It had taken some time before her crate was found, since they had to be unloaded first after all. But eventually, Unkai had called out that he had found it and she made her way over, pushing around and past the crowd going through boxes. A quick hop and flap of her wings later and she gracefully set down next to the young healer, who was already rummaging through the box. Apparently they both had stuff in here. Picking through the straw Saph soon dug out what felt a lot like a book, wrapped in some sort of simple cloth. Unwinding it she was indeed correct. It was a brown leather-bound book, rather unassuming looking all things considered. It looked brand new. She had thought that she might get something second hand, but if the price was good then she was very happy. Opening up to the first page, it read The Chronicles of Hanik Stone, Explorer of the South.
‘Well that’s certainly not the worst thing he could have gotten,’ Saph pondered to herself. It certainly sounded interesting, even if she had no idea who this Hanik Stone was. Hopefully it wasn’t complete fiction.
Unkai picked out a small wooden box painted a beautiful blue, Saph cocking her head looking at it for a moment. It looked a lot to her like a jewelry box.
“Oh uhm, it’s uhm. I wanted something uhm…” the healer stumbled as Saph kept staring, wondering if that was his or hers. It soon clicked why the guard had a box of jewelry and she chuckled a bit.
“Oh I won’t tell, do open it though. Might be mine.”
“Oh right, yeah.” He gingerly opened the hinged lid to have a peek inside, closing it back up again and holding it over towards Saph with a slightly embarrassed expression. “Yeah, I think that’s yours.”
Saph took the small box without any complaint, after all how could he have known? Peeking inside she was shocked to see a beautiful golden ring, polished to a mirror finish and with an almost flowerlike pattern at the top like two leafy twigs sliding past each other. In the center sat a large beautifully square cut Sapphire, which was flanked by no less than six smaller ones set in the leaves of the two twigs. It was beautiful.
Saph didn’t want to think about what it might have cost, maybe Vulzan had taken her rather short list to mean she wanted to spend it all on this. Then again it all would be like 120 gold, and that was impossible to spend on a ring, at least she thought so. But it truly was beautiful.
“Yes,” Unkai let out quietly as he peeked inside a box that looked awfully similar to the box Saph’s ring had been in. Saph glanced over to see what it was, but Unkai quickly shut the lid again before she could see.
“Oh a secret is it?” Saph questioned. She knew full well what it was, and it was nice to see him make some sort of effort towards Fengi, at least it probably meant he hadn’t given up.
“Ye-yes,” he stammered in reply, putting the box away inside his armor.
“I’m sure she will love it,” Saph replied with a chuckle. Going back to the box she fished out another book. Opening it, this one read The Mystery of Tashkent Keep. ‘Huh, I guess a horror story or something? That should be good.’
For her there had also been some of the dried cured pork sausage she remembered from her time in the capital. It was a snack she would often spend some of her winnings on back when she didn’t make much at all and treats were few and far between. She had enough here to last the whole winter if she only had a bit every now and again. It would definitely beat the jerky and trail mix they made at the keep, and winter rations normally got rather boring after the first few weeks of being stuck on them.
Looking around she saw huntresses, guards, and crafters alike trying on new items, tasting snacks, and looking in boxes. It was a merry scene to be sure. She noticed Galaxer’s trade partner walking up to Dakota and Rachuck and presenting them with an ornate looking box, Dakota opening it and taking out a stoppered fine glass bottle with a yellowish liquid inside. It almost looked like it glowed to Sapphire. ‘Oooh, they bought potions.’
“Awww yeaaaa, check this one out guys!” Saph heard Balethon break out, Unkai looking up as well. He was holding a very fine looking blade in one hand and a blue leather sheath in the other, even the sheath had silver decorations on it at both hilt and tip.
“Oh you got that one aye? What did it cost?” Herron asked, he himself looking up from whatever he was doing.
“Don’t know, don’t care, Mithril Blade Baby, come at me.”
Saph stared a little, pondering if that was a good or bad idea the guard had there. They were making brand new weapons unlike anything ever seen and here he was buying what was surely a very expensive sword, even if it didn’t look enchanted. It didn’t sound like Tom intended on making any superior swords, so maybe it wasn’t the dumbest thing ever.
Looking back to the box she found what looked like another book. Unwrapping it, this one was smaller and looked a bit more elaborate. It was bound in blue leather and even had some gold leaf on it. Turning to the first page she was a touch surprised to see it say Scriptures of Itova.
Initially she thought she might just have gotten her hands on a collection of smut, whether she liked it or not. Turning a few pages it turned out though to be quite the opposite. It was a holy book, full of scriptures and prayers of all things to the goddess of life and love, Itova.
“Uhm, Unkai… is this yours?” Saph questioned holding up the book. The young guard took it and paged a bit before nodding.
“Yeah, you know, for good luck… in not dying that is… oh god,” Unkai replied, seemingly working out halfway how that could definitely be interpreted wrongly. “No-not like that, like… you know. I like her… I just wanna give a proper prayer that it’ll all be alright, that nothing bad happens.”
Saph could understand the sentiment, and she was sure guys had beseeched the gods for less in the game of love than to pray their beloved wouldn’t kill them by accident. Glancing at the guard’s other hand he had a small silver figurine, with what looked like some sort of tiny pink gemstone for eyes.
“Well… best of luck. Hopefully she’ll watch over you,” Saph just said, not sure what else to add as she shrugged. Looking back into the box there was one more book and Unkai had seemingly ordered some sort of smoked meat she didn’t recognize, other than that the box was now empty.
Opening to the first page of the book it read The Legend of the Silver Wing.
‘Silver wing? I’ve heard that before I’m sure… huh very well.’ Looking into the now empty box she did ponder to herself. ‘No cloth though?’
__________________________________________________________________________________
Tom had ended up watching Jacky unpack a few things. It had mostly been harmless: some bottles of nice looking fruity liquor, a vast amount of various kinds of meaty snacks, and even some kind of little biscuit or cookie. Apparently they were called honey bites, and she had always wanted to try some after being told they were only for rich people by a trader years ago.
They had both tried one and come to the conclusion that they were alright. To Tom’s relief, though, there was no sign of a bottle of wild brew. But when he brought up that fact she answered “Noo, sadly” with entirely too much snickering.
Tom just sighed as he once more tried to run through the contingencies for just what he was going to do in case of a drunk, high, Jacky. It was a futile situation even in the world of the imagination.
They had tried some of the snacks, and to be honest, a lot of them were very, very good. Maybe that was frontier cooking starting to lower his standards, but the peppery strips of fatty cured meat were absolutely delicious.
“What is this?” Jacky questioned, pulling out a small bottle with a stopper cap sealed with wax. It looked to Tom like it might even be a potion of some kind, dark red but very thick. “Ooooh. This is for you,” she went, seemingly recognizing the writing on the little tag dangling from the chain.
She held it out for him and he took it, curious what she might have gotten him. He already had two potions, but, well, those had been handed over to her cause’ he no longer actually dared to drink them, so surely it wasn’t actually a magical potion. Flipping the tag so he could read it he strained to make out the small runes. That stuff was hard enough to read when it was large and clear, and whoever had written this had not done well in handwriting class.
“Fi-Fir…Firkoune?” Tom tried. “Is it like some sort of fire oil?”
“No no, firesauce,” Jacky corrected. “It’s for cooking, it’s from down south.”
“Oh… ooooh,” Tom went, realizing what he was holding. “Chili sauce.”
“No? It makes things hot. You know, spicy, hot like fire,” Jacky explained, Tom chuckling.
“Right yes, fire sauce. Huh… thank you.” He was really hoping this stuff was safe for humans, ‘cause as it stood his spices would not last forever and they were probably worth more sold, being exotic as they were. But locally produced hot sauce opened up all sorts of possibilities for everyday cooking, rather than just special occasions. He really should have brought chillies too, but they hadn’t really registered as essential in his packing lists, nor was he sure they would do very well here without a greenhouse.
They would definitely need that at some point anyway, but that was something to consider for later.
“You’re welcome,” Jacky replied, magnanimous as ever. “I think that’s about it… where is your stuff by the way?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t order that much,” Tom admitted, looking around for where it might be. Secretly he also knew that at least one of the things in there she shouldn’t know about just yet, so it might be best if she wasn’t there when he unpacked. Then again, when was he gonna give them to her? Later that night maybe? She had also just given him an assumedly pricy gift. He had no idea what firesauce might sell for, but it had to be from somewhere far away.
Then someone he didn’t really recognize cleared his throat behind him. Turning around to look, it was Galaxer’s trade partner.
“Hello again Tom, been some time.”
“A bit yeah,” Tom responded politely, wondering what the man wanted.
“I have a few messages for you, as well as a small private package. It is from Joelina.”
“Oh, I see,” Tom said, not sure if that was a good or a bad thing, but it was hardly unexpected. He held a hand out and received the handful of letters, which did surprise him. ‘Why not just write one long one?’ They were all wax sealed too, which he supposed made some sense. With the other hand he received the small parchment and twine-wrapped box. It felt like wood underneath.
“I was instructed to be careful with that. It is probably fragile.”
“Got it… I wonder what it might be?” Tom questioned, resisting the urge to shake the box. “How private we talking?”
“I don’t know, she didn’t give any instructions, other than it was for you personally.”
“Well in that case.” Tom handed the letters to Jacky, who dutifully took them as he started to unwrap his package. He was kinda hoping for some sort of magic device. As the waxed parchment slid away it did indeed reveal a box with a sliding lid. Tom didn’t see any reason to delay, letting the parchment fall to the ground and sliding the lid off the plain-looking box.
Inside was a stark contrast to the simple outside, it was lined with fine blue silk and had soft pillowy sides divided into three compartments. In one lay a single earring along with a small piece of card. In the next two were a pair of polished, seemingly steel cylinders, with what he assumed to be magic etchings covering them and another small paper card with some writing on it wedged down by the side of one of them.
‘Great, more handwriting. I wonder what those are though?’ he pondered, taking out the card and having a read. Having a look at it, it was at least substantially better than the label on the hot sauce.
“For you and li-link- oh Linkosta. To ea-ease her… troubles?” Tom read aloud, looking at the odd cylinders.
“What troubles?” Jacky questioned, mimicking his own sentiment.
“No idea, but there is a card with the earring too. I’ll ask Lin, maybe she knows,” Tom added, picking out the second small card. “I have… questions.”
“Oh for the love of the gods,” Jacky complained as they both worked out what that earring was likely for. “Could she not have at least given us a set so we would have some use out of it?”
“That would have been nice, yeah,” Tom concurred, picking out the small silvery earring, though he guessed it was actually mithril or some other magical alloy.
“It is still a quite generous gift,” Carnegie the trader pointed out. “Such items are not cheap.”
“That much is true,” Tom concurred, putting the ring back inside and closing up the lid. “Thank you. I should probably put this somewhere safe.”
“Yes, a fine idea, but Arch does have another package for you. It’s a bit more sizable. Jacky if you wouldn’t mind giving Vulzan and his crew a hand with it. I do have some lists to check off.”
“Oh… that big? Well, good luck on the paperwork,” Jacky replied, already having her attention turned towards the large blue dragon and setting off at a brisk walk. Tom just followed with his new box wondering what this might be about.
__________________________________________________________________________________
After Saph had gone to get her personal items struck off the list and paid up to Carnegie, she had asked what had happened to the fine cloth she had ordered. She had sorta been hoping Essy would help her turn it into a dress or something along those lines, for any more festive events that might be coming up.
“Oh you were not alone in your wishes for that. Vulzan bought a few larger rolls, got a better price. Then you can all divide as yah see fit,” Carnegie replied chipperly before getting on with working out how much Pho owed him, which seemed to be quite a lot.
“Oh I see… uhm where is it?”
“Don’t know, it’s a big box. Arch should have it. Over there somewhere,” he said pointing with his pencil, which now that Saph noticed was definitely a capital design.
“Thank you, I’ll leave you to it,” Saph replied gratefully, jogging over to where a larger-ish chest was being lowered down from Archeon's harness by some crew, Tom and Jacky standing on the ground ready to receive it.
“Need a hand?” she questioned, as she stepped in to help lower the box down into the soft grass. Vulzan came up fiddling with a keychain, finally getting out a rather elaborate-looking one.
‘Damn, this must be some fancy fabrics,’ Saph went to herself in surprise as the presumably arcane lock was opened with the special key. Her total had only come to about 9 gold, which was still a LOT of money, but it shouldn’t warrant something like this. Unless there was something else in here too.
“Right, there we go,” the trader said as the click was heard, and with a solid yank on the two handles affixed to the lid the chest opened up.
“Oh,” was all Saph got out as the contents were revealed.
“Joelina Hashaw sends her regards,” Vulzan went with a smirky grin, leaning on the chest lid and looking to Tom, who was staring down into the chest along with everyone else.
“I know, I told her it would win you over, but damn…”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Righty oh chapter 186, it's time to open some goodie bags, yes it is. I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as the keepdwellers enjoyed all of their packages. If not... then damn I don't know what to do about that XD
Over on the discord we finally got a family crest for the Bizmati family. I quite like it and I'm certain more are to come.
Till next time. Take care. Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous Next
submitted by Tigra21 to HFY [link] [comments]
Tom was rather astonished by the rate of progress, but he supposed the Amish could raise a barn in a day, so doing it over several weeks was not much of an achievement. But they had done it alongside getting all of the wood cut and prepared to be put up, which had in reality been most of the work.
Kullinger had shown him around the new building in a bit more detail than could have been arranged previously, the carpenter eager to show anyone who made the mistake of asking about what he was clearly beginning to see as his work. It would have been hard to replace him, but the obvious metal flanges visible all throughout the building were certainly something Kullinger didn’t draw attention to during his showcase. Tom knew the man could do wooden joinery as well as the best of them, but it was a slow process. And with price being of little concern, nails and flanges it was.
‘I need to start making screws,’ he pondered to himself, thinking of the frightening difference that would have made. Though to make them in the needed quantity would be a vast amount of work. ‘Something for the factory that isn’t just killing people… a power drill would be nice too.’
The real meaning of the tour had been to kill some time. Baron had only arrived just after noon, just in time for Tom to get in a midday snack, and they had hoped the traders would arrive by late afternoon. Some work was going on, but it was half-hearted and had mostly devolved into idle chatter. Even Shiva was affected.
The hours crept on by and the light started to wane, with more and more dragonettes starting to conclude that maybe it wouldn’t be today anyway. Then the bell rang, Herron for once not sleeping at his post.
“Two dragons spotted, white and blue,” the call came down.
In an instant the keep came alive once more, the chatter flowing like beer at a tractor pull. There had hardly been the need for Nunuk and Dakota to start giving orders, everyone had started preparing for their arrivals. It would not be a full feast, but the tables would be decked extra well, many likely wanting to try some of the things they bought. Tom knew a lot of them had come together to buy some small kegs of cider, which did sound quite interesting to try out.
There had been some contention about where to get it from. The girls decided on a small bar which Ray remembered going to in the past, and the guards had been talked into buying some from Grevi’s family estate on the recommendation of the various Royal Guard present at the keep.
Tom was hoping to stay impartial in the name of becoming the judge, certainly not because he would quite like to try both, and cider was quite unlikely to cause any problems unlike last time he had indulged in alien alcohols. Though he should probably take it quite slow to start with just to see if he suffered any ill effects.
He knew Jacky had bought some stuff too, so that was likely a tactic he would have to use more than once in the near future. He hadn’t actually bought anything specifically for himself, and he had scrapped Maiko’s idea for getting Jacky and Saph a matching set of jewelry after a chat with Essy. With the green light from the older huntress, he had instead sprung for a set of earrings with dark green emeralds in them. At least that’s what he had asked for. If Vulzan had been able to deliver remained to be seen.
As the dragons drew nearer, fires were lit and spits mounted with a couple of hastily prepared whitetail deer from Jarix’s little hunt. They would all be able to get a slice, but the kitchen was also working on a few things. Jacky had been talking about how Essy was making some sort of pie or tart with berries from the same patch Saph and Fengi had stumbled upon during Yldril's first fateful logging expedition. With the use of some sugar to balance out the tartness, it should make for a pretty good bite.
‘Oh yeah, food machines, pasta makers, a blitzgel powered blender… so much potential there,’ Tom had pondered, as he tried to think of anything nice and simple which would still be new and useful to them. It was a thought for another day though.
As swiftly as the preparations had begun they soon stopped again, save for those who could not leave their posts as everyone made ready for the greeting parade. It was hardly needed with Arch and Galaxer, neither of whom seemed to be sticklers for tradition, or even decorum in Galaxer’s case, unless it suited him. But, understandably enough, no one wanted to wait too long to figure out what they had managed to get from their wish lists.
And so they all lined up. Dragonettes in front, dragons behind. Meaning Jarix and Baron, since Yldril was told to go lay down under her little pavilion, so she wouldn’t sour the moment with some rude or snarky comment.
As the traders came in for a landing it was indeed Galaxer, and Tom could feel the whole keep sigh in relief after the two dragons’ backs came into view and the elaborate fur coat of Joelina was nowhere to be found. In fact there wasn’t anyone aboard Galaxer who stood out as inquisitorial personnel, though of course that didn’t mean they weren’t. Tom guessed they were trying to keep suspicion to a minimum.
The crews had dismounted, and Vulzan along with Galaxer’s partner – Tom wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure he was called Carnegie or something close to that – had greeted the Bizmati family, who officially welcomed them to the keep. There were smiles all around and an air of anticipation as Vulzan stepped forward, Carnegie standing just behind him and to the right. Both traders had most definitely done well off this trip as well and it showed. Vulzan had a big welcoming smile on his face as he stepped towards the lined-up keep dwellers after he finished greeting Linkosta, producing a rolled-up parchment from inside his fur-lined coat, the mage stepping aside and trying to sneak a peek at the parchment.
“Very well then folks, it is good to be back out here with yah. I carry letters, news, and all manner of goods and goodies, as I am sure you all know by now. So I’m thinking we best get on with it. We have labeled the crates with names, often more than one name per box. I trust yah can all work out who’s who. When you find yah things come by me or this sprightly young gentle man here and we shall cross it from the list. Sound good?” The trader called out gesturing back at Galaxers partner.
“Yes sir,” the keep dwellers echoed in a discordant chorus. It almost reminded Tom of a summer camp roll call or something, it was quite funny all things considered.
“Very well, no pushing, some things are delicate.”
And with that, the trader stepped aside gesturing towards Arch and Galaxer. The blue dragon had been mid-wave to his son, who was watching bemused from behind the Bizmati line, and Galaxer had his eyes trained on Tom.
‘Oh does he want scritches again I wonder? Very well then, I’ll see if I can make time,’ the human chuckled to himself. The keep dwellers advanced on the dragons and their crews in a hurried but mostly orderly fashion, and then Jacky grabbed him by the arm.
“Right, come on!”
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Oh this was exciting. Saph didn’t know what she had actually gotten after all, nor what it would cost. She hadn’t been too extravagant with her spending. There were many other things to spend money on after all, chief amongst them her family back at Vulcha, and maybe even her brother and sister.
She had pitched in a share for the cider that Ray had recommended, but her big ticket items had been the books she had asked for and the sapphire ring. She really hoped it hadn’t been Vulzan himself who had gone shopping for reading material. It wasn’t like she had any specific titles in mind: her request had just been for “leisure reading, not too expensive.” Hopefully Udanti or Canabrera had picked out some popular printed books for her.
It had taken some time before her crate was found, since they had to be unloaded first after all. But eventually, Unkai had called out that he had found it and she made her way over, pushing around and past the crowd going through boxes. A quick hop and flap of her wings later and she gracefully set down next to the young healer, who was already rummaging through the box. Apparently they both had stuff in here. Picking through the straw Saph soon dug out what felt a lot like a book, wrapped in some sort of simple cloth. Unwinding it she was indeed correct. It was a brown leather-bound book, rather unassuming looking all things considered. It looked brand new. She had thought that she might get something second hand, but if the price was good then she was very happy. Opening up to the first page, it read The Chronicles of Hanik Stone, Explorer of the South.
‘Well that’s certainly not the worst thing he could have gotten,’ Saph pondered to herself. It certainly sounded interesting, even if she had no idea who this Hanik Stone was. Hopefully it wasn’t complete fiction.
Unkai picked out a small wooden box painted a beautiful blue, Saph cocking her head looking at it for a moment. It looked a lot to her like a jewelry box.
“Oh uhm, it’s uhm. I wanted something uhm…” the healer stumbled as Saph kept staring, wondering if that was his or hers. It soon clicked why the guard had a box of jewelry and she chuckled a bit.
“Oh I won’t tell, do open it though. Might be mine.”
“Oh right, yeah.” He gingerly opened the hinged lid to have a peek inside, closing it back up again and holding it over towards Saph with a slightly embarrassed expression. “Yeah, I think that’s yours.”
Saph took the small box without any complaint, after all how could he have known? Peeking inside she was shocked to see a beautiful golden ring, polished to a mirror finish and with an almost flowerlike pattern at the top like two leafy twigs sliding past each other. In the center sat a large beautifully square cut Sapphire, which was flanked by no less than six smaller ones set in the leaves of the two twigs. It was beautiful.
Saph didn’t want to think about what it might have cost, maybe Vulzan had taken her rather short list to mean she wanted to spend it all on this. Then again it all would be like 120 gold, and that was impossible to spend on a ring, at least she thought so. But it truly was beautiful.
“Yes,” Unkai let out quietly as he peeked inside a box that looked awfully similar to the box Saph’s ring had been in. Saph glanced over to see what it was, but Unkai quickly shut the lid again before she could see.
“Oh a secret is it?” Saph questioned. She knew full well what it was, and it was nice to see him make some sort of effort towards Fengi, at least it probably meant he hadn’t given up.
“Ye-yes,” he stammered in reply, putting the box away inside his armor.
“I’m sure she will love it,” Saph replied with a chuckle. Going back to the box she fished out another book. Opening it, this one read The Mystery of Tashkent Keep. ‘Huh, I guess a horror story or something? That should be good.’
For her there had also been some of the dried cured pork sausage she remembered from her time in the capital. It was a snack she would often spend some of her winnings on back when she didn’t make much at all and treats were few and far between. She had enough here to last the whole winter if she only had a bit every now and again. It would definitely beat the jerky and trail mix they made at the keep, and winter rations normally got rather boring after the first few weeks of being stuck on them.
Looking around she saw huntresses, guards, and crafters alike trying on new items, tasting snacks, and looking in boxes. It was a merry scene to be sure. She noticed Galaxer’s trade partner walking up to Dakota and Rachuck and presenting them with an ornate looking box, Dakota opening it and taking out a stoppered fine glass bottle with a yellowish liquid inside. It almost looked like it glowed to Sapphire. ‘Oooh, they bought potions.’
“Awww yeaaaa, check this one out guys!” Saph heard Balethon break out, Unkai looking up as well. He was holding a very fine looking blade in one hand and a blue leather sheath in the other, even the sheath had silver decorations on it at both hilt and tip.
“Oh you got that one aye? What did it cost?” Herron asked, he himself looking up from whatever he was doing.
“Don’t know, don’t care, Mithril Blade Baby, come at me.”
Saph stared a little, pondering if that was a good or bad idea the guard had there. They were making brand new weapons unlike anything ever seen and here he was buying what was surely a very expensive sword, even if it didn’t look enchanted. It didn’t sound like Tom intended on making any superior swords, so maybe it wasn’t the dumbest thing ever.
Looking back to the box she found what looked like another book. Unwrapping it, this one was smaller and looked a bit more elaborate. It was bound in blue leather and even had some gold leaf on it. Turning to the first page she was a touch surprised to see it say Scriptures of Itova.
Initially she thought she might just have gotten her hands on a collection of smut, whether she liked it or not. Turning a few pages it turned out though to be quite the opposite. It was a holy book, full of scriptures and prayers of all things to the goddess of life and love, Itova.
“Uhm, Unkai… is this yours?” Saph questioned holding up the book. The young guard took it and paged a bit before nodding.
“Yeah, you know, for good luck… in not dying that is… oh god,” Unkai replied, seemingly working out halfway how that could definitely be interpreted wrongly. “No-not like that, like… you know. I like her… I just wanna give a proper prayer that it’ll all be alright, that nothing bad happens.”
Saph could understand the sentiment, and she was sure guys had beseeched the gods for less in the game of love than to pray their beloved wouldn’t kill them by accident. Glancing at the guard’s other hand he had a small silver figurine, with what looked like some sort of tiny pink gemstone for eyes.
“Well… best of luck. Hopefully she’ll watch over you,” Saph just said, not sure what else to add as she shrugged. Looking back into the box there was one more book and Unkai had seemingly ordered some sort of smoked meat she didn’t recognize, other than that the box was now empty.
Opening to the first page of the book it read The Legend of the Silver Wing.
‘Silver wing? I’ve heard that before I’m sure… huh very well.’ Looking into the now empty box she did ponder to herself. ‘No cloth though?’
__________________________________________________________________________________
Tom had ended up watching Jacky unpack a few things. It had mostly been harmless: some bottles of nice looking fruity liquor, a vast amount of various kinds of meaty snacks, and even some kind of little biscuit or cookie. Apparently they were called honey bites, and she had always wanted to try some after being told they were only for rich people by a trader years ago.
They had both tried one and come to the conclusion that they were alright. To Tom’s relief, though, there was no sign of a bottle of wild brew. But when he brought up that fact she answered “Noo, sadly” with entirely too much snickering.
Tom just sighed as he once more tried to run through the contingencies for just what he was going to do in case of a drunk, high, Jacky. It was a futile situation even in the world of the imagination.
They had tried some of the snacks, and to be honest, a lot of them were very, very good. Maybe that was frontier cooking starting to lower his standards, but the peppery strips of fatty cured meat were absolutely delicious.
“What is this?” Jacky questioned, pulling out a small bottle with a stopper cap sealed with wax. It looked to Tom like it might even be a potion of some kind, dark red but very thick. “Ooooh. This is for you,” she went, seemingly recognizing the writing on the little tag dangling from the chain.
She held it out for him and he took it, curious what she might have gotten him. He already had two potions, but, well, those had been handed over to her cause’ he no longer actually dared to drink them, so surely it wasn’t actually a magical potion. Flipping the tag so he could read it he strained to make out the small runes. That stuff was hard enough to read when it was large and clear, and whoever had written this had not done well in handwriting class.
“Fi-Fir…Firkoune?” Tom tried. “Is it like some sort of fire oil?”
“No no, firesauce,” Jacky corrected. “It’s for cooking, it’s from down south.”
“Oh… ooooh,” Tom went, realizing what he was holding. “Chili sauce.”
“No? It makes things hot. You know, spicy, hot like fire,” Jacky explained, Tom chuckling.
“Right yes, fire sauce. Huh… thank you.” He was really hoping this stuff was safe for humans, ‘cause as it stood his spices would not last forever and they were probably worth more sold, being exotic as they were. But locally produced hot sauce opened up all sorts of possibilities for everyday cooking, rather than just special occasions. He really should have brought chillies too, but they hadn’t really registered as essential in his packing lists, nor was he sure they would do very well here without a greenhouse.
They would definitely need that at some point anyway, but that was something to consider for later.
“You’re welcome,” Jacky replied, magnanimous as ever. “I think that’s about it… where is your stuff by the way?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t order that much,” Tom admitted, looking around for where it might be. Secretly he also knew that at least one of the things in there she shouldn’t know about just yet, so it might be best if she wasn’t there when he unpacked. Then again, when was he gonna give them to her? Later that night maybe? She had also just given him an assumedly pricy gift. He had no idea what firesauce might sell for, but it had to be from somewhere far away.
Then someone he didn’t really recognize cleared his throat behind him. Turning around to look, it was Galaxer’s trade partner.
“Hello again Tom, been some time.”
“A bit yeah,” Tom responded politely, wondering what the man wanted.
“I have a few messages for you, as well as a small private package. It is from Joelina.”
“Oh, I see,” Tom said, not sure if that was a good or a bad thing, but it was hardly unexpected. He held a hand out and received the handful of letters, which did surprise him. ‘Why not just write one long one?’ They were all wax sealed too, which he supposed made some sense. With the other hand he received the small parchment and twine-wrapped box. It felt like wood underneath.
“I was instructed to be careful with that. It is probably fragile.”
“Got it… I wonder what it might be?” Tom questioned, resisting the urge to shake the box. “How private we talking?”
“I don’t know, she didn’t give any instructions, other than it was for you personally.”
“Well in that case.” Tom handed the letters to Jacky, who dutifully took them as he started to unwrap his package. He was kinda hoping for some sort of magic device. As the waxed parchment slid away it did indeed reveal a box with a sliding lid. Tom didn’t see any reason to delay, letting the parchment fall to the ground and sliding the lid off the plain-looking box.
Inside was a stark contrast to the simple outside, it was lined with fine blue silk and had soft pillowy sides divided into three compartments. In one lay a single earring along with a small piece of card. In the next two were a pair of polished, seemingly steel cylinders, with what he assumed to be magic etchings covering them and another small paper card with some writing on it wedged down by the side of one of them.
‘Great, more handwriting. I wonder what those are though?’ he pondered, taking out the card and having a read. Having a look at it, it was at least substantially better than the label on the hot sauce.
“For you and li-link- oh Linkosta. To ea-ease her… troubles?” Tom read aloud, looking at the odd cylinders.
“What troubles?” Jacky questioned, mimicking his own sentiment.
“No idea, but there is a card with the earring too. I’ll ask Lin, maybe she knows,” Tom added, picking out the second small card. “I have… questions.”
“Oh for the love of the gods,” Jacky complained as they both worked out what that earring was likely for. “Could she not have at least given us a set so we would have some use out of it?”
“That would have been nice, yeah,” Tom concurred, picking out the small silvery earring, though he guessed it was actually mithril or some other magical alloy.
“It is still a quite generous gift,” Carnegie the trader pointed out. “Such items are not cheap.”
“That much is true,” Tom concurred, putting the ring back inside and closing up the lid. “Thank you. I should probably put this somewhere safe.”
“Yes, a fine idea, but Arch does have another package for you. It’s a bit more sizable. Jacky if you wouldn’t mind giving Vulzan and his crew a hand with it. I do have some lists to check off.”
“Oh… that big? Well, good luck on the paperwork,” Jacky replied, already having her attention turned towards the large blue dragon and setting off at a brisk walk. Tom just followed with his new box wondering what this might be about.
__________________________________________________________________________________
After Saph had gone to get her personal items struck off the list and paid up to Carnegie, she had asked what had happened to the fine cloth she had ordered. She had sorta been hoping Essy would help her turn it into a dress or something along those lines, for any more festive events that might be coming up.
“Oh you were not alone in your wishes for that. Vulzan bought a few larger rolls, got a better price. Then you can all divide as yah see fit,” Carnegie replied chipperly before getting on with working out how much Pho owed him, which seemed to be quite a lot.
“Oh I see… uhm where is it?”
“Don’t know, it’s a big box. Arch should have it. Over there somewhere,” he said pointing with his pencil, which now that Saph noticed was definitely a capital design.
“Thank you, I’ll leave you to it,” Saph replied gratefully, jogging over to where a larger-ish chest was being lowered down from Archeon's harness by some crew, Tom and Jacky standing on the ground ready to receive it.
“Need a hand?” she questioned, as she stepped in to help lower the box down into the soft grass. Vulzan came up fiddling with a keychain, finally getting out a rather elaborate-looking one.
‘Damn, this must be some fancy fabrics,’ Saph went to herself in surprise as the presumably arcane lock was opened with the special key. Her total had only come to about 9 gold, which was still a LOT of money, but it shouldn’t warrant something like this. Unless there was something else in here too.
“Right, there we go,” the trader said as the click was heard, and with a solid yank on the two handles affixed to the lid the chest opened up.
“Oh,” was all Saph got out as the contents were revealed.
“Joelina Hashaw sends her regards,” Vulzan went with a smirky grin, leaning on the chest lid and looking to Tom, who was staring down into the chest along with everyone else.
“I know, I told her it would win you over, but damn…”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Righty oh chapter 186, it's time to open some goodie bags, yes it is. I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as the keepdwellers enjoyed all of their packages. If not... then damn I don't know what to do about that XD
Over on the discord we finally got a family crest for the Bizmati family. I quite like it and I'm certain more are to come.
Till next time. Take care. Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous Next
2024.03.26 04:15 EmergencyAccount9668 Omega-6 fatty acids: the alternative hypothesis for diseases of civilization
https://web.archive.org/web/20210419222349/https://breaknutrition.com/omega-6-fatty-acids-alternative-hypothesis-diseases-civilization/
Many causes have been blamed for the spread of the DCs; including lack of exercise, wheat consumption, excess consumption of calories, carbohydrates, sugar, animal fats, meat, environmental toxins such as pollutants or pesticides, genetics (most implausibly) and any cluster of associations dreadfully referred to as ‘multi-factorial’.
Each of these proposed causal factors fails, in my view, to explain the pandemic. What I’d like to introduce is an alternative hypothesis, one that better fits the observed epidemiology and that has clearly-described mechanisms that explain much of the pathology for the DCs.
Since it started in America, we’ll start with America. In the late 1800s and early 1900s three events occurred almost simultaneously. First, a method of detoxifying cottonseed oil, which had been an industrial waste product of the cotton industry, was discovered . Next came a method to ‘hydrogenate’ cottonseed oil, or make it into a solid-at-room-temperature edible fat . Thus cottonseed oil and the hydrogenated derivative known as Crisco—introduced in 1911—entered the food supply in large quantities for the first time .
Simultaneously, America began to experience heart disease in large quantities. Previously a very rare condition, heart disease quickly became an epidemic, and the relatively new modern medical profession began to track it, and attempt to devise treatments . Similarly, cancer “control” became a concern, with the forerunner of the American Cancer Society being founded in 1913 .
What is less known is what happened after America took control. The first American fast-food restaurant opened in Okinawa, 9 years before Tokyo, to meet the American soldiers’ appetite. Okinawans also enjoyed American fast food and rapidly adopted it as their own . In that one generation, DCs exploded into Okinawa. Fathers attending the deaths of their sons became a common occurrence, with obesity, heart disease and cancer becoming common.
Hirome Okuyama, a Japanese scientist exploring the dramatic change in longevity in Okinawa, in 1996 published a paper pointing the finger clearly :
Americans introduced much larger quantities of cheap refined flours which replaced the Okinawan carb sources. It’s not caused by meat, as the rest of Japan had a huge increase in meat consumption after WWII, and longevity increased, unlike in Okinawa. It’s not caused by animal fatty acids, as they were rapidly replaced by cheap seed oils imported from America—which introduced a program to ‘Americanize’ the Japanese diet.
It’s unlikely to be caused by saturated fatty acids, as consumption of saturated fat was and remains lower in Japan than it was or is in America, and there are no mechanisms to explain how natural saturated fatty acids causes disease. Environmental toxins are an unlikely explanation too, as, while Japan was industrialized, Okinawa didn’t experience a major change in that regard.
There’s also no possibility of a local environmental factor in Okinawa, as Japanese who moved to America saw a similar increase in DCs. And just to throw it out there, this also disproves the cholesterol-heart disease hypothesis, as cholesterol is not associated with heart disease in Japan, but with increased longevity .
These point to the common mechanism, named ELAS by Okuyama . I think it’s the best candidate for cause and best explanation of the MetSyn and related, chronic DCs.
There are three major kinds of fatty acids. LA is a polyunsaturated fatty acid (PUFA) . It’s joined by monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFA) such as oleic acid (named for olive oil) and saturated fatty acids (SFA) such as stearic acid (named for steers, beef) or palmitic acid (named for palm oil). Fish oil is also a PUFA, but of the omega-3 variety (n-3 PUFA).
Omega 6 fatty acids are primarily made by plants, as are the similar n-3 PUFAs, and are concentrated up the food chain by animals eating those plants. The major sources of Omega 6 fatty acids in the MAD are oils refined from seeds and animals fed a high proportion of seeds.
PUFAs have traits which make them of interest: they’re highly susceptible to oxidation (rancidity), unlike MUFA or SFA, and they’re used throughout the body as building blocks for tissues and for various signaling functions, after being converted into other chemicals.
Contrast this to rancid n-3 PUFAs and imagine eating a rotten fish. No thanks! This is likely because concentrated n-6 foods were rare until the modern era .
The list of toxicities of these three chemicals is most impressive. Acrolein is a biocide, meaning toxic to all life. HNE and MDA are less bad than that but are cytotoxic (kill living cells), mutagenic (induce mutations in DNA) and genotoxic (destroy DNA). OxLAMs are also highly reactive, which means they can combine with other molecules in the body, inducing and stimulating malfunction .
In this process OxLAMs are produced. HNE, for instance, causes other cardiolipin molecules to oxidize, thus potentially causing a self-sustaining chain reaction. Reactive Oxygen Species (ROS) are produced in the reaction, which can also cause adjacent cardiolipin to oxidize .
However, OxLAMs are several orders of magnitude more damaging to the bodies than simple ROS . HNE itself can induce the production of ROS. Oxidized cardiolipin causes mitochondrial dysfunction, as mitochondria are impaired with oxidized cardiolipin .
What follows is mitochondria either collapsing, inducing apoptosis or necrosis . Apoptosis is seen throughout DCs—in cancer the cells are essentially ignoring the apoptotic signal and going rogue. The Warburg Effect noted in cancers is thought to be a cellular reaction to mitochondrial dysfunction in which the cells adopt an alternative energy pathway to better suit their uncontrolled proliferation.
Thomas Seyfried, who has contributed much to the field of cancer metabolism, notes that dysfunctional cardiolipin has always been observed in cancer cells so far . Necrosis is seen in late-stage DCs, such as atherosclerosis, cirrhosis of the liver, heart failure and Alzheimer’s.
Once loose in the cells, the OxLAMs rapidly propagate, in a process known as Oxidative Stress (OxStr). HNE and MDA are the primary markers used to measure OxStr. ROS cannot leave mitochondria which are well prepared for them, but OxLAMs, being water-soluble, rapidly distribute throughout the cells and beyond. OxLAMs are also a regular part of mitochondrial function: HNE induces mitochondria to downregulate as a basic negative-feedback mechanism.
Presumably this is to limit HNE creation and the spare the important antioxidant glutathione (GSH), as well as the aldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme (ALDH). GSH and ALDH are both important in protecting the body against evolutionarily-expected levels of HNE. Unfortunately for us, excess HNE can impair the function of both GSH and ALDH, thus allowing propagation of a runaway chain-reaction.
Decreased levels of GSH are a typical sign of excess production of HNE, and a dietarily induced deficiency in GSH production predisposes to the DCs . A genetic deficiency in ALDH, which is highly prevalent in Japan and China, predisposes to all DCs .
OxLAMs can bind to and alter the function of DNA, both in the mitochondrion and cell nucleus. In fact, they appear to be the leading cause of genetic damage, as the markers used for genetic damage are those generated by OxLAMs . Widespread generation of mutagenic and genotoxic chemicals in a live organism (in vivo) would go a long way towards explaining the genetic damage common in DCs.
It appears that a fundamental job of macrophages, an immune-system cell that attacks foreign cells, is to remove toxic OxLAMs from the tissues. Macrophage infiltration into tissue is seen in various DCs other than atherosclerosis, including obesity . One explanation is that the modifications made by OxLAMs to molecules cause those molecules to resemble Pathogen-Associated Molecular Patterns (PAMPs)—the molecules appear the same to macrophages as those on bacteria.
Antibodies for oxidized LDL cholesterol (OxLDL) exist and development of these antibodies for therapy against atherosclerosis has revealed the antibodies to be equally sensitive to bacteria-derived lipopolysaccharides and OxLDL .
Anti-cardiolipin antibodies are seen in several severe autoimmune diseases and are only sensitive to oxidized cardiolipin. Thus excess n-6 is a known cause of autoimmunity. It may be the fundamental cause of the increase in allergic diseases seen in Okinawa and around the world .
Other aspects of circulatory disease, such as varicose veins and erectile dysfunction, also display increased rates of OxStr, as determined by the presence of OxLAMs. HNE and oxLDL are active throughout the pathological process to create foam cells, induce macrophage entrance into the lining of the vessels and spur apoptosis, necrosis as well as DNA damage seen in atherosclerosis.
Steinberg and Witztum followed up their rabbit study with a human study, which confirmed the importance of LA in creating OxLDL . Other studies have confirmed the effect. The most successful CVD prevention trial ever, the Lyon Diet Heart Study, which produced a 70% reduction in CVD rates, specifically reduced the consumption of LA and increased the consumption of n-3 and n-9 fats.
It adds validation to the mechanism in humans but should be noted that the metabolites were not measured . Clearing HNE reduces atherosclerotic lesions in an animal model .
Similarly, oxidative activities of OxLAMs are seen in varicose veins, with these markers always being present at affected areas . Erectile dysfunction also appears to be a consequence of this process. Erectile dysfunction drugs, aside from the obvious effects, also have an antioxidant effect, and appear to prolong life in those with vascular diseases .
Much of the pathological behavior of cancer cells can be explained by the effects of OxStr: mitochondrial dysfunction, genetic damage, and a shift to glycolysis despite the presence of oxygen. HNE damages and impairs the function of pyruvate dehydrogenase, the enzyme that allows substrates produced by glycolysis to enter the mitochondria .
This loss, combined with malfunctioning mitochondria emitting high rates of ROS and OxLAMs, may explain the metabolic dysregulation and anti-oxidant upregulation often seen in cancer cells.
Epidemiological work has shown low rates of cancer in populations eating traditional diets. In Asians, migration to industrialized countries increases breast cancer rates many-fold to the point where they reach Western levels .
LA in the diet is in fact required to induce cancer in animals experimentally. The cancer-promoting effects of LA increase as it increases in the diet. This effect plateaus at around 4.4% of total energy, well below levels of consumptions seen in industrial civilizations .
One of the hallmark traits of cancer cells is the seemingly random mutations pervading unstable and disorganized nuclear genomes. There can be tens of thousands of mutations, much fewer than that and sometimes none at all . For many cancers, the theory of it resulting from a single mutation doesn’t hold for most cancers. HNE and MDA both damage DNA in vivo and HNE preferentially damages the p53 gene. The latter is part of the body’s natural cancer-control mechanism and is defective in colorectal and hepatocellular cancers .
Anandamide and 2-AG are the cannabinoids our body’s produce themselves and are so-called mimetics of trans-Δ⁹-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) found in marijuana. Injection of endocannabinoids in animal models induces overeating, regardless of how full they feel . Elevated 2-AG is a typical feature in human obesity.
Several studies by a group at the NIH have shown that dietary LA modulates production and levels of 2-AG and can directly induce obesity . Blocking the endocannabinoid receptor using a drug prevents obesity and metabolic syndrome, in animals and humans; however the side-effects like increased rates of suicide are unacceptable, leading to withdrawal of the drug .
A reduced LA diet has been shown to reduce IR in two human studies; one measured OxLAMs, which were also reduced .
HNE injected into skeletal muscle cells directly induces IR in those cells . Mitochondrial dysfunction is a common feature of diabetes and the resulting shift in energy production may play a role in IR. LA directly induces hyperinsulinemia in vivo in animal models of beta cells (which produce insulin in the pancreas) and OxLDL directly causes beta-cell death.
High levels of blood sugar (hyperglycemia) is a central feature of type 2 diabetes. Shulman et al. argue an adipose-centric theory whereby hyperglycemia in type 2 diabetes results from uncontrolled adipose tissue lipolysis which feeds into liver metabolism as an excess of acetyl-CoA that will go on to spur further gluconeogenesis (the creation of new glucose).
Others postulate a liver-centric theory where insulin directly changes the liver’s insulin-to-glucagon ratio, lowering it and thus leading to further gluconeogenesis .
Regardless of the explanation one subscribes to about why type 2 diabetics have high blood sugars, high levels of HNE accompany dysregulation of gluconeogenesis. However, I’ve not seen a mechanism to explain it.
The relation between the food you eat and insulin secretion is represented by the food insulin index, an interesting metrics to watch if you are diabetic.
It’s been observed that AA increases prior to the onset of Alzheimer’s but decreases after its onset . AA is more subject to oxidation to HNE than LA is. HNE and other OxLAMs increase as AA decreases, perhaps indicating the self-perpetuating reaction is underway.
HNE is always found in the pathological areas of the brain. Injecting HNE in an animal model induces the formation of beta-amyloid plaques , the signature of Alzheimer’s disease.
People suffering from epilepsy have been prescribed high-fat ketogenic diets and often benefited from them immensely .
This is possibly because of direct neuronal effects of the diet on “ATP-sensitive potassium (KATP) channel modulation, enhanced purinergic (i.e., adenosine) and GABAergic neurotransmission, increased brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) expression consequent to glycolytic restriction, attenuation of neuroinflammation, as well as an expansion in bioenergetic reserves and stabilization of the neuronal membrane potential through improved mitochondrial function” .
However, these ‘clinical’ or ‘classical’ ketogenic diets have used highly inflammatory fats like hydrogenated soybean oil and have even been given as replacement shakes instead of a meal . This likely renders the treatment much less effective given how triggering (epileptogenic) inflammatory factors can be for epilepsy . This is why more modern incarnations of the diet tend to use a variety of non-inflammatory fats like butter, lard, coconut oil and olive oil which also happen to taste better.
It mimics the effects of alcohol-induced Fatty Liver Disease (FLD). Like cancer, LA is required to induce FLD in animals. Very low levels of LA in the diet allows animals to consume up to 30% of energy as alcohol without pathology .
Total Parenteral Nutrition (TNP) is a feeding strategy in humans with damaged or malformed guts. Fatty liver is a common consequence in TNP and replacing LA-rich oils with fish oils cures the condition in human infants .
A small pilot study from Poland examining NAFLD in humans reduced the dietary levels of n-6 while providing the bulk of calories as carbohydrates.
OxLAMs were reduced, as was insulin, HOMA-IR, weight and NAFLD resolved in 100% of subjects . HNE directly induces the fibrosis seen in advanced liver disease and in other DCs.
N-3 supplementation does not affect the progression of AMD unless it’s accompanied by low n-6 intake . That combination is preventative—an evolutionarily-appropriate balance of the fats appears to be crucial. N-6 fatty acids are very susceptible to oxidation by radiation, even visible light; blue light will induce retinal n-6 PUFAs to oxidize to highly toxic HNE.
This may also be the causal pathway behind sunburn and skin cancer.
This is seen in heart failure, now epidemic amongst humans. Alcohol, fructose, smoking, radiation and infection all increased levels of OxStr and as in FLD, the effects of OxLAMs may play a role in the pathology associated with those factors. If two factors contribute to a disease but the disease only appears when one is present, it’s logical to conclude that the required factor is causal.
Most industrial populations get more than 5% of energy from seed oils , so comparing one to another is to compare high to high, when what one wants to see is high vs low.
Nevertheless, there are a number of studies looking at DCs in populations with differing food patterns, and they strongly support the hypothesis, with the incidence of DCs in populations consuming fewer seed oils being either fractional or non-existent . This likely explains the rapid increase in DCs seen in countries eating MAD-type diets.
That, combined with the pro-n-6 PUFA bias in the American nutrition establishment, means that it’s unlikely much research will be done in the U.S. Much of the research seems to be done in either second-tier US institutions or in Europe and Asia.
There’s a lot of lab work looking at mechanisms but not a lot of human interventional studies. The few that do exist however, like the Lyon Diet Heart Study, Christopher Ramsden’s work and the pilot LA metabolite intervention from Poland are all very compelling .
Research I would like to see on this question is an examination of PUFA status and OxLAM load in those few people still eating a traditional diet free from DCs, as well as interventional studies lowering n-6 PUFA.
Research into this topic was in the 10s of papers in the 1970s and has increased by 135-fold today. It’s a burgeoning field but one that appears to be very much under the radar. In reading through the literature, I have come to the conclusion that the case for ELAS as the root cause of Diseases of Civilization is overwhelming.
Personally, I came to this topic through Stephan Guyenet and his excellent Whole Health Source blog. After months of reading his posts and reading the papers he linked to, I decided to cut seed oils from my diet on the spur of the moment, standing in front of the salad dressings in a cafeteria.
My irritable bowel syndrome of 16 years disappeared in two days. My carb cravings disappeared as quickly, allowing me to discover an underlying wheat sensitivity. Sunburn became a thing of the past and as a pale blonde who had always assumed I was ill-adapted to life under the sun, this was revolutionary.
My excess weight dropped off, along with my now too-large pants one morning, never to return. And after six broken bones in two years, I haven’t broken one since.
I started reading on the topic because I wanted to understand what had caused my personal health recovery – and I guess because I like puzzles.
Except for fasting, this is the simplest health intervention ever, as it’s impossible to become deficient in n-6 fatty acids when eating whole foods. Even if a fraction of the diseases with pathological signs pointing to n-6 are proven, you’ll still be far better off.
William E.M. “Bill” Lands spent his scientific career studying the role of n-6 and n-3 fatty acids in the body. His conclusion, the title of an article written during his retirement, deserves to be the note to end on here :
submitted by EmergencyAccount9668 to StopEatingSeedOils [link] [comments]
Omega-6 fatty acids: the alternative hypothesis for diseases of civilization
by breaknutrition Aug 25, 2017Diseases of civilization
The world is facing a health crisis of unprecedented proportions. What have become known as chronic diseases, Western Diseases, or Diseases of Civilization (DC), have become pandemic as populations around the world adopt the lifestyle that first became prevalent in the country that perfected industrialization, the United States.What are they?
The DCs revolve around the Metabolic Syndrome (MetSyn), a set of signs of disease that include central obesity, excess fats (or fatty acids) in the blood, high blood pressure and excess blood sugar. The diseases that associate with the MetSyn include the biggest killers in the industrial nations: heart disease, cancer, diabetes, neurological illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and host of seemingly unrelated autoimmune conditions.Many causes have been blamed for the spread of the DCs; including lack of exercise, wheat consumption, excess consumption of calories, carbohydrates, sugar, animal fats, meat, environmental toxins such as pollutants or pesticides, genetics (most implausibly) and any cluster of associations dreadfully referred to as ‘multi-factorial’.
Each of these proposed causal factors fails, in my view, to explain the pandemic. What I’d like to introduce is an alternative hypothesis, one that better fits the observed epidemiology and that has clearly-described mechanisms that explain much of the pathology for the DCs.
Since it started in America, we’ll start with America. In the late 1800s and early 1900s three events occurred almost simultaneously. First, a method of detoxifying cottonseed oil, which had been an industrial waste product of the cotton industry, was discovered . Next came a method to ‘hydrogenate’ cottonseed oil, or make it into a solid-at-room-temperature edible fat . Thus cottonseed oil and the hydrogenated derivative known as Crisco—introduced in 1911—entered the food supply in large quantities for the first time .
Simultaneously, America began to experience heart disease in large quantities. Previously a very rare condition, heart disease quickly became an epidemic, and the relatively new modern medical profession began to track it, and attempt to devise treatments . Similarly, cancer “control” became a concern, with the forerunner of the American Cancer Society being founded in 1913 .
The single biggest change in the American diet over the 20th century was the increase in seed oils, which increased 1000-fold
What changed?
America, a massive agricultural exporting nation, exported the fruits of the industrial revolution, which included new foodstuffs, including white wheat flour, sugar and vegetable fatty acids— so called to distinguish them from the traditional animal fatty acids that had been used as food since human evolution.I will refer to vegetable fats (or fatty acids) as seed oils, to distinguish fats made from seeds such as cotton, corn, soy, rape and others from fatty acids made from fruit like olives or palm fruit. This will become important later on.Wherever American industrially-produced foods were introduced, DCs soon followed. Although not generally well known now, a number of doctors and scientists recognized the impact of industrial foods on populations abandoning their traditional diets for what has become known as the Standard American Diet (SAD) . I prefer the acronym MAD, Modern American Diet, as the American diet prior to industrialization was a largely meat-based one, and did not produce the same diseases, and will use that throughout . Original graph is from Teicholz, N., The Big Fat Surprise, Simon & Schuster: New York, 2014.
Japan as the canary in the coal-mine
While there are many cases we could examine, perhaps the most telling was the MAD being introduced to post-WWII Japan. After the Japanese surrender, America took over the southern Japanese island of Okinawa, and used it for their base of operations. Unlike most other traditional cultures into which the MAD was introduced, Japan was a highly industrialized country. Yet Okinawans still ate a traditional diet that revolved around pork, yams, and fresh vegetables, and made them famous as one of the “Blue Zones”, a population with exceptionally long lifespans—in fact, the longest in the world .What is less known is what happened after America took control. The first American fast-food restaurant opened in Okinawa, 9 years before Tokyo, to meet the American soldiers’ appetite. Okinawans also enjoyed American fast food and rapidly adopted it as their own . In that one generation, DCs exploded into Okinawa. Fathers attending the deaths of their sons became a common occurrence, with obesity, heart disease and cancer becoming common.
Hirome Okuyama, a Japanese scientist exploring the dramatic change in longevity in Okinawa, in 1996 published a paper pointing the finger clearly :
Dietary fatty acids – the N-6/N-3 balance and chronic elderly diseases. Excess linoleic acid and relative n-3 deficiency syndrome seen in JapanIn a single generation, Okinawa went from the lowest mortality in Japan to the highest
“The age distribution of the survival rates of male Okinawans in 1990 is also interesting. The mortalities from all causes for the generations over 70 years of age were the lowest, whereas for those males less than 50 years old they were the highest among the 47 prefectures…”
Seed-oils and refined flours brought DCs to Japan
This one incident clearly disproves a number of leading hypotheses on the emergence of DC. It’s clearly not genetic (although that’s a factor, especially in Japan), as gene networks underlying complex adaptations don’t change that quickly. It’s not just caused by total carbohydrates per se, as the Okinawans had a high carb diet with tubers, rice and fruit prior to Americans arriving .
Americans introduced much larger quantities of cheap refined flours which replaced the Okinawan carb sources. It’s not caused by meat, as the rest of Japan had a huge increase in meat consumption after WWII, and longevity increased, unlike in Okinawa. It’s not caused by animal fatty acids, as they were rapidly replaced by cheap seed oils imported from America—which introduced a program to ‘Americanize’ the Japanese diet.
It’s unlikely to be caused by saturated fatty acids, as consumption of saturated fat was and remains lower in Japan than it was or is in America, and there are no mechanisms to explain how natural saturated fatty acids causes disease. Environmental toxins are an unlikely explanation too, as, while Japan was industrialized, Okinawa didn’t experience a major change in that regard.
There’s also no possibility of a local environmental factor in Okinawa, as Japanese who moved to America saw a similar increase in DCs. And just to throw it out there, this also disproves the cholesterol-heart disease hypothesis, as cholesterol is not associated with heart disease in Japan, but with increased longevity .
Excess Linoleic Acid Syndrome (ELAS)
In my reading, the diseases that surround the MetSyn share common traits. Inflammation and insulin resistance are oft-cited, but perhaps more significant traits include mitochondrial dysfunction, apoptosis (cell death), necrosis (tissue death) and genetic damage.These point to the common mechanism, named ELAS by Okuyama . I think it’s the best candidate for cause and best explanation of the MetSyn and related, chronic DCs.
What’s Linoleic acid?
Linoleic acid (LA) is an Omega 6 fatty acid (n-6 PUFA) fat which is considered essential to human and animal function. To head folks off at the pass, n-6 fatty acids are found in all natural foods, plants and animals, so this isn’t something you need to avoid entirely – it’s not possible, nor necessary.There are three major kinds of fatty acids. LA is a polyunsaturated fatty acid (PUFA) . It’s joined by monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFA) such as oleic acid (named for olive oil) and saturated fatty acids (SFA) such as stearic acid (named for steers, beef) or palmitic acid (named for palm oil). Fish oil is also a PUFA, but of the omega-3 variety (n-3 PUFA).
Omega 6 fatty acids are primarily made by plants, as are the similar n-3 PUFAs, and are concentrated up the food chain by animals eating those plants. The major sources of Omega 6 fatty acids in the MAD are oils refined from seeds and animals fed a high proportion of seeds.
PUFAs have traits which make them of interest: they’re highly susceptible to oxidation (rancidity), unlike MUFA or SFA, and they’re used throughout the body as building blocks for tissues and for various signaling functions, after being converted into other chemicals.
The rancidity of PUFAs is the root of the problemWhen food goes rancid, it usually smells and taste bad because the MUFAs and PUFAs have decomposed into peroxides . Both n-6 and n-3 PUFAs are highly likely to go rancid. Humans don’t detect the rancidity of Omega 6 fatty acids particularly well, they smell slightly stale and people actually prefer the taste.
Contrast this to rancid n-3 PUFAs and imagine eating a rotten fish. No thanks! This is likely because concentrated n-6 foods were rare until the modern era .
The problems with rancid PUFAs
Both n-3 and n-6 PUFAs going rancid produce toxins, but the n-6 fatty acids produce worse toxins. Most notable of these—and best studied—are acrolein, HNE, and MDA; although there are many others. Collectively, they’re called oxidized linoleic acid metabolites (OxLAMs). Acrolein is the acute toxin found in cigarette smoke. HNE is the best marker of effects of ELAS, as it is only produced from n-6 fatty acids. All three are both produced in cooking or heating n-6 fatty acids, but are also produced in the body. How toxic are these products? Cooking with seed oils is the leading cause of lung cancer in non-smoking women in China .The list of toxicities of these three chemicals is most impressive. Acrolein is a biocide, meaning toxic to all life. HNE and MDA are less bad than that but are cytotoxic (kill living cells), mutagenic (induce mutations in DNA) and genotoxic (destroy DNA). OxLAMs are also highly reactive, which means they can combine with other molecules in the body, inducing and stimulating malfunction .
A primary mechanism of ELAS
An increase in Omega 6 fatty acids consumption rapidly remodels the tissues in the body, as the fats are replaced throughout. In some tissues it happens within weeks, in others, like the human brain, it appears to take much longer . Increased n-6 consumption rapidly remodels cartilage, for instance, in all species studied, driving out the more stable omega-9 fatty acids (Oleic acid is a n-9 MUFA) . The same happens in mitochondria . As mentioned, mitochondrial dysfunction and DNA damage is a signature of the MetSyn and all related diseases. It’s seen in the fat cells in obesity, in the pancreas in diabetes and in the lining of the vessels of the heart in atherosclerosis, as well as in conditions of heart failure, fatty liver disease, neurological diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and, most notably, cancer.OxLAMs trigger destructive chain reaction events
The mechanism for this is well-described, although not well-recognized. Excess n-6 linoleic acid (LA) consumption causes a remodeling of a molecule called cardiolipin in the mitochondria, the key energy-producing part of cells in all higher life forms. Cardiolipin comprised of LA is uniquely susceptible to oxidation compared to n-3 PUFAs, MUFAs or SFAs and this can happen spontaneously, as LA oxidation can be catalyzed by iron and cardiolipin is in constant contact with iron atoms in mitochondria. When cardiolipin oxidizes, a chain reaction can start. In vitro, so on the lab bench, this reaction continues until all cardiolipin is consumed, but luckily our body has countermeasures .In this process OxLAMs are produced. HNE, for instance, causes other cardiolipin molecules to oxidize, thus potentially causing a self-sustaining chain reaction. Reactive Oxygen Species (ROS) are produced in the reaction, which can also cause adjacent cardiolipin to oxidize .
However, OxLAMs are several orders of magnitude more damaging to the bodies than simple ROS . HNE itself can induce the production of ROS. Oxidized cardiolipin causes mitochondrial dysfunction, as mitochondria are impaired with oxidized cardiolipin .
What follows is mitochondria either collapsing, inducing apoptosis or necrosis . Apoptosis is seen throughout DCs—in cancer the cells are essentially ignoring the apoptotic signal and going rogue. The Warburg Effect noted in cancers is thought to be a cellular reaction to mitochondrial dysfunction in which the cells adopt an alternative energy pathway to better suit their uncontrolled proliferation.
Thomas Seyfried, who has contributed much to the field of cancer metabolism, notes that dysfunctional cardiolipin has always been observed in cancer cells so far . Necrosis is seen in late-stage DCs, such as atherosclerosis, cirrhosis of the liver, heart failure and Alzheimer’s.
Once loose in the cells, the OxLAMs rapidly propagate, in a process known as Oxidative Stress (OxStr). HNE and MDA are the primary markers used to measure OxStr. ROS cannot leave mitochondria which are well prepared for them, but OxLAMs, being water-soluble, rapidly distribute throughout the cells and beyond. OxLAMs are also a regular part of mitochondrial function: HNE induces mitochondria to downregulate as a basic negative-feedback mechanism.
Presumably this is to limit HNE creation and the spare the important antioxidant glutathione (GSH), as well as the aldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme (ALDH). GSH and ALDH are both important in protecting the body against evolutionarily-expected levels of HNE. Unfortunately for us, excess HNE can impair the function of both GSH and ALDH, thus allowing propagation of a runaway chain-reaction.
Decreased levels of GSH are a typical sign of excess production of HNE, and a dietarily induced deficiency in GSH production predisposes to the DCs . A genetic deficiency in ALDH, which is highly prevalent in Japan and China, predisposes to all DCs .
Tissue health as a function of levels of different fatty acids
Confusingly, assays of n-6 status in pathological tissues often show a lower level of n-6 than other fatty acids, and in these cases, addition of n-6 can actually improve function. This appears to be due to the chain reaction depleting LA or arachidonic acid (AA). The latter is a long-chain n-6 fatty acid produced in the body from LA. N-6 levels are lower, but HNE levels have risen as N-6 is converted into OxLAMs .OxLAMs can bind to and alter the function of DNA, both in the mitochondrion and cell nucleus. In fact, they appear to be the leading cause of genetic damage, as the markers used for genetic damage are those generated by OxLAMs . Widespread generation of mutagenic and genotoxic chemicals in a live organism (in vivo) would go a long way towards explaining the genetic damage common in DCs.
OxLAMs are inflammatory
OxLAMs such as HNE directly induce inflammation, increasing inflammatory markers. Excess levels of LA-derived AA also induces inflammation, as it is used to build chemicals that send pro-inflammatory messages to the body. The mechanism of anti-inflammatory drugs such as aspirin, NSAIDs and Cox-2 inhibitors partially impairs this pathway.It appears that a fundamental job of macrophages, an immune-system cell that attacks foreign cells, is to remove toxic OxLAMs from the tissues. Macrophage infiltration into tissue is seen in various DCs other than atherosclerosis, including obesity . One explanation is that the modifications made by OxLAMs to molecules cause those molecules to resemble Pathogen-Associated Molecular Patterns (PAMPs)—the molecules appear the same to macrophages as those on bacteria.
Antibodies for oxidized LDL cholesterol (OxLDL) exist and development of these antibodies for therapy against atherosclerosis has revealed the antibodies to be equally sensitive to bacteria-derived lipopolysaccharides and OxLDL .
Anti-cardiolipin antibodies are seen in several severe autoimmune diseases and are only sensitive to oxidized cardiolipin. Thus excess n-6 is a known cause of autoimmunity. It may be the fundamental cause of the increase in allergic diseases seen in Okinawa and around the world .
Specific disease pathologies
Cardiovascular Disease (CVD)
Goldstein and Brown received a Nobel Prize for discovering the LDL receptor . The next thing they tried to do was to induce the first stage of atherosclerosis, the conversion of macrophages into foam cells, which form the core of the atherosclerotic plaques that are thought to cause heart disease. They failed . Steinberg and Witztum then discovered that LDL must be modified through oxidation to cause macrophages to become foam cellsThe nature of the substrate for lipid peroxidation, mainly the in lipid esters and cholesterol, is a dominant influence in determining susceptibility. As noted by Esterbauer et al. (52), there is a vast excess of in LDL, in relationship to the content of natural, endogenous antioxidants. The importance of the fatty acid composition was impressively demonstrated by our recent studies of rabbits fed a diet high in linoleic acid (18:2) or in oleic acid (18:1) for a period of 10 wk. LDL isolated from the animals on oleic acid-rich diet were greatly enriched in oleate and low in linoleate. This LDL was remarkably resistant to oxidative modification, measured either by direct parameters of lipid peroxidationEsterbauer discovered HNE which is always present in atherosclerotic lesions in all species. Oxidized n-6 PUFAs comprise a large proportion of the fatty acids found in these plaques . OxLDL is the second-best known predictor of myocardial infarction, exceeded only by the OxLDL/HDL ratio (HDL is high-density lipoprotein) .
Other aspects of circulatory disease, such as varicose veins and erectile dysfunction, also display increased rates of OxStr, as determined by the presence of OxLAMs. HNE and oxLDL are active throughout the pathological process to create foam cells, induce macrophage entrance into the lining of the vessels and spur apoptosis, necrosis as well as DNA damage seen in atherosclerosis.
Steinberg and Witztum followed up their rabbit study with a human study, which confirmed the importance of LA in creating OxLDL . Other studies have confirmed the effect. The most successful CVD prevention trial ever, the Lyon Diet Heart Study, which produced a 70% reduction in CVD rates, specifically reduced the consumption of LA and increased the consumption of n-3 and n-9 fats.
It adds validation to the mechanism in humans but should be noted that the metabolites were not measured . Clearing HNE reduces atherosclerotic lesions in an animal model .
Similarly, oxidative activities of OxLAMs are seen in varicose veins, with these markers always being present at affected areas . Erectile dysfunction also appears to be a consequence of this process. Erectile dysfunction drugs, aside from the obvious effects, also have an antioxidant effect, and appear to prolong life in those with vascular diseases .
Cancer
Cancer is considered by many to not be a single disease but a wide array of diseases with, so far as we know, different causes. Viruses are a well-known cause of certain cancers, so it is safe to say that there is no single causal agent of cancer, however appealing that prospect would be.Much of the pathological behavior of cancer cells can be explained by the effects of OxStr: mitochondrial dysfunction, genetic damage, and a shift to glycolysis despite the presence of oxygen. HNE damages and impairs the function of pyruvate dehydrogenase, the enzyme that allows substrates produced by glycolysis to enter the mitochondria .
This loss, combined with malfunctioning mitochondria emitting high rates of ROS and OxLAMs, may explain the metabolic dysregulation and anti-oxidant upregulation often seen in cancer cells.
Epidemiological work has shown low rates of cancer in populations eating traditional diets. In Asians, migration to industrialized countries increases breast cancer rates many-fold to the point where they reach Western levels .
LA in the diet is in fact required to induce cancer in animals experimentally. The cancer-promoting effects of LA increase as it increases in the diet. This effect plateaus at around 4.4% of total energy, well below levels of consumptions seen in industrial civilizations .
One of the hallmark traits of cancer cells is the seemingly random mutations pervading unstable and disorganized nuclear genomes. There can be tens of thousands of mutations, much fewer than that and sometimes none at all . For many cancers, the theory of it resulting from a single mutation doesn’t hold for most cancers. HNE and MDA both damage DNA in vivo and HNE preferentially damages the p53 gene. The latter is part of the body’s natural cancer-control mechanism and is defective in colorectal and hepatocellular cancers .
Obesity
Omega 6 fatty acids consumption appears to be involved in obesity through several pathways. HNE, which is elevated in obesity, directly induces fat-storage across species at an intra-cellular molecular level by inducing pathological behavior in adipose tissue. The latter then fails to differentiate normally, leading to engorged adipose cells typical of obesity . As LA converts to AA, AA upregulation leads to increased production of endocannabinoids anandamide and 2-AG.Anandamide and 2-AG are the cannabinoids our body’s produce themselves and are so-called mimetics of trans-Δ⁹-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) found in marijuana. Injection of endocannabinoids in animal models induces overeating, regardless of how full they feel . Elevated 2-AG is a typical feature in human obesity.
Several studies by a group at the NIH have shown that dietary LA modulates production and levels of 2-AG and can directly induce obesity . Blocking the endocannabinoid receptor using a drug prevents obesity and metabolic syndrome, in animals and humans; however the side-effects like increased rates of suicide are unacceptable, leading to withdrawal of the drug .
Diabetes
One long-observed medical observation is that insulin resistance (IR) accompanies sepsis, a condition caused by infection. OxStr precedes IR in humans and OxLDL antibodies acutely reduce IR in a primate model of atherosclerosis . So the PAMPs found in OxLDL appear to be preoccupy by the immune system, with IR maybe being a reaction to a perceived infection.A reduced LA diet has been shown to reduce IR in two human studies; one measured OxLAMs, which were also reduced .
HNE injected into skeletal muscle cells directly induces IR in those cells . Mitochondrial dysfunction is a common feature of diabetes and the resulting shift in energy production may play a role in IR. LA directly induces hyperinsulinemia in vivo in animal models of beta cells (which produce insulin in the pancreas) and OxLDL directly causes beta-cell death.
High levels of blood sugar (hyperglycemia) is a central feature of type 2 diabetes. Shulman et al. argue an adipose-centric theory whereby hyperglycemia in type 2 diabetes results from uncontrolled adipose tissue lipolysis which feeds into liver metabolism as an excess of acetyl-CoA that will go on to spur further gluconeogenesis (the creation of new glucose).
Others postulate a liver-centric theory where insulin directly changes the liver’s insulin-to-glucagon ratio, lowering it and thus leading to further gluconeogenesis .
Regardless of the explanation one subscribes to about why type 2 diabetics have high blood sugars, high levels of HNE accompany dysregulation of gluconeogenesis. However, I’ve not seen a mechanism to explain it.
The relation between the food you eat and insulin secretion is represented by the food insulin index, an interesting metrics to watch if you are diabetic.
Neurological diseases
OxStr has become recognized as a major pathological factor in several severe neurological conditions, the incidence of which has been increasing along with increasing n-6 consumption, as seen with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS). As opposed to rat brains, human brains appear to have a rate-limiter for uptake of LA. AA however, which is only produced in small quantities from LA but concentrates in tissues, does pass the blood-brain barrier.It’s been observed that AA increases prior to the onset of Alzheimer’s but decreases after its onset . AA is more subject to oxidation to HNE than LA is. HNE and other OxLAMs increase as AA decreases, perhaps indicating the self-perpetuating reaction is underway.
HNE is always found in the pathological areas of the brain. Injecting HNE in an animal model induces the formation of beta-amyloid plaques , the signature of Alzheimer’s disease.
People suffering from epilepsy have been prescribed high-fat ketogenic diets and often benefited from them immensely .
This is possibly because of direct neuronal effects of the diet on “ATP-sensitive potassium (KATP) channel modulation, enhanced purinergic (i.e., adenosine) and GABAergic neurotransmission, increased brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) expression consequent to glycolytic restriction, attenuation of neuroinflammation, as well as an expansion in bioenergetic reserves and stabilization of the neuronal membrane potential through improved mitochondrial function” .
However, these ‘clinical’ or ‘classical’ ketogenic diets have used highly inflammatory fats like hydrogenated soybean oil and have even been given as replacement shakes instead of a meal . This likely renders the treatment much less effective given how triggering (epileptogenic) inflammatory factors can be for epilepsy . This is why more modern incarnations of the diet tend to use a variety of non-inflammatory fats like butter, lard, coconut oil and olive oil which also happen to taste better.
Liver Disease
Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD) is a new disease which only appeared when n-6 consumption levels reached the current high levels.It mimics the effects of alcohol-induced Fatty Liver Disease (FLD). Like cancer, LA is required to induce FLD in animals. Very low levels of LA in the diet allows animals to consume up to 30% of energy as alcohol without pathology .
Total Parenteral Nutrition (TNP) is a feeding strategy in humans with damaged or malformed guts. Fatty liver is a common consequence in TNP and replacing LA-rich oils with fish oils cures the condition in human infants .
A small pilot study from Poland examining NAFLD in humans reduced the dietary levels of n-6 while providing the bulk of calories as carbohydrates.
OxLAMs were reduced, as was insulin, HOMA-IR, weight and NAFLD resolved in 100% of subjects . HNE directly induces the fibrosis seen in advanced liver disease and in other DCs.
Blindness
The leading cause of the blindness in the United States is Age-related Macular Degeneration (AMD). This is probably the only condition where the causal role of n-6 has not only been established but is becoming widely recognized. It’s illustrative of principles that should likely be informative for treating other DCs. The retina of the eye is rich in PUFAs and like other tissues is affected by diet.N-3 supplementation does not affect the progression of AMD unless it’s accompanied by low n-6 intake . That combination is preventative—an evolutionarily-appropriate balance of the fats appears to be crucial. N-6 fatty acids are very susceptible to oxidation by radiation, even visible light; blue light will induce retinal n-6 PUFAs to oxidize to highly toxic HNE.
This may also be the causal pathway behind sunburn and skin cancer.
And more!
Osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, asthma, diabetic side-effects such as kidney failure, chronic pain and my personal favorite, sunburn, all have pathological roots in ELAS. Even high rates of violence have been compellingly linked to ELAS.Pathological cofactors
Several cofactors induce worsened OxStr is humans. In vitro, mixing LA, glucose and water at physiological concentrations induces peroxidation of LA into OxLAMs; the same has been shown in an in vivo animal model where increased n-6 feeding induced cardiolipin breakdown with subsequent induction of hyperglycemia causing mitochondrial collapse and cardiac necrosis .This is seen in heart failure, now epidemic amongst humans. Alcohol, fructose, smoking, radiation and infection all increased levels of OxStr and as in FLD, the effects of OxLAMs may play a role in the pathology associated with those factors. If two factors contribute to a disease but the disease only appears when one is present, it’s logical to conclude that the required factor is causal.
A final note on epidemiology
The epidemiology around n-6 consumption and DCs reminds me of an old joke. A policeman sees a drunk crawling around under a street light.“What are you doing?”Applying epidemiology to nutrition is a very daunting task. Conducting it in a modern, industrial society is much easier than going to a traditional society with no government statistics or wealthy research institutions.
“I’m looking for my keys!”
“You lost them here?”
“No, I lost them over there.”
“Why are you looking here, then?”
“Because this is where the light is!”
So most of the epidemiology looking at food consumption is done in the industrial nations, which have mostly had high incidences of seed oils for a very long time, before nutritional epidemiology became a scienceSeed oils appear to cease increasing rates of cancer appearance after they comprise 4.4% of energy, and saturate tissues at 5% .
Most industrial populations get more than 5% of energy from seed oils , so comparing one to another is to compare high to high, when what one wants to see is high vs low.
Nevertheless, there are a number of studies looking at DCs in populations with differing food patterns, and they strongly support the hypothesis, with the incidence of DCs in populations consuming fewer seed oils being either fractional or non-existent . This likely explains the rapid increase in DCs seen in countries eating MAD-type diets.
What’s missing?
According to several scientists I’ve read the work of or listened to lately, funding is missing. This is highlighted by Dr. Ron Krauss who works at the National Institutes of Health (NIH). According to him, the NIH have largely stopped funding clinical nutrition research.That, combined with the pro-n-6 PUFA bias in the American nutrition establishment, means that it’s unlikely much research will be done in the U.S. Much of the research seems to be done in either second-tier US institutions or in Europe and Asia.
There’s a lot of lab work looking at mechanisms but not a lot of human interventional studies. The few that do exist however, like the Lyon Diet Heart Study, Christopher Ramsden’s work and the pilot LA metabolite intervention from Poland are all very compelling .
Research I would like to see on this question is an examination of PUFA status and OxLAM load in those few people still eating a traditional diet free from DCs, as well as interventional studies lowering n-6 PUFA.
Most such studies make no attempt to lower n-6, but just add n-3 on top of it. Due to competition between the two types of fatty acids and as seen in AMD, this is unlikely to be a successful strategyIt’s essentially the modern Japanese diet: excess n-6 but good n-3. This has not prevented DC in Japan, but they do have lower rates of some diseases, like cardiovascular diseases.
Conclusion
HNE was discovered in the early 1980s, many decades after seed oils were introduced. The relationship between n-6 and endogenous production of signaling molecules was discovered later. N-3 fatty acids became recognized as important after that.Research into this topic was in the 10s of papers in the 1970s and has increased by 135-fold today. It’s a burgeoning field but one that appears to be very much under the radar. In reading through the literature, I have come to the conclusion that the case for ELAS as the root cause of Diseases of Civilization is overwhelming.
Personally, I came to this topic through Stephan Guyenet and his excellent Whole Health Source blog. After months of reading his posts and reading the papers he linked to, I decided to cut seed oils from my diet on the spur of the moment, standing in front of the salad dressings in a cafeteria.
My irritable bowel syndrome of 16 years disappeared in two days. My carb cravings disappeared as quickly, allowing me to discover an underlying wheat sensitivity. Sunburn became a thing of the past and as a pale blonde who had always assumed I was ill-adapted to life under the sun, this was revolutionary.
My excess weight dropped off, along with my now too-large pants one morning, never to return. And after six broken bones in two years, I haven’t broken one since.
I started reading on the topic because I wanted to understand what had caused my personal health recovery – and I guess because I like puzzles.
What to do about excessive n-6 consumption?
Avoid eating seed oils, foods containing seed oils—junk food and animals fed high levels of grains and seed oils, like pork and chicken. Don’t go crazy with the nuts. Eat some fish. But no, you can’t fix ELAS with extra n-3 fatty acids like fish oil, as the Japanese case demonstrates.Except for fasting, this is the simplest health intervention ever, as it’s impossible to become deficient in n-6 fatty acids when eating whole foods. Even if a fraction of the diseases with pathological signs pointing to n-6 are proven, you’ll still be far better off.
William E.M. “Bill” Lands spent his scientific career studying the role of n-6 and n-3 fatty acids in the body. His conclusion, the title of an article written during his retirement, deserves to be the note to end on here :
Prevent the cause, not just the symptoms
2024.03.23 08:30 Forestaller [Non-Spoiler] My Review of Tencent's 'Three Body (1st) Anniversary Edition (2024), the 26-Episode Director's Cut (streaming-only)' -- and comparisons between some adaptations of ROEP.
[Non-Spoiler] My Review of Tencent's 'Three Body (1st) Anniversary Edition (2024), the 26-Episode Director's Cut (streaming-only)' -- and comparisons between some adaptations of ROEP.
(1) TL;DR:
If you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition of Tencent's Chinese live-action adaptation of ROEP Book I, 'Three Body (2023)', was bad -- you might find that the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition (2024) is now watchable.
But if you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was watchable -- the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition is now quite good.
And if you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was quite good -- the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition is now pretty great.
----
(2) REVIEW:
I was originally somewhere in the camp of 'the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was bad-to-watchable'. I can re-watch the tension-filled 20 minutes of 'Operation Guzheng/Zither' any number of times, and always enjoyed both (young and old) Ye Wenjie's portrayals of repressed (young) or world-weary (old) hurt and happiness -- but the pacing/editing of the whole series was such a turn-off that I could never make myself go through it a second time.
However, the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut -- made in response to the demands of Chinese ROEP fans -- has finally taken care of that problem for me. Like most Chinese fans, I sat through the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition because I/we understood why Tencent would want to reach a larger audience and premiere the series (originally intended for its own streaming platform) on free-to-air TV. So when the TV deal came through, the series was (re-)edited and padded with 'filler' to fit a prime-time (aka. 'family hour') broadcast schedule -- i.e. 30 episodes in an 'hourly' format' (actually 40+ minutes with 15-20 minutes of commercials) and minimal to no blood, sex, violence, swearing, smoking, etc...
But this time round, I didn't even notice how much of the slow-motion repeats, musical montages and flashback inserts have been pared down until the first 4 episodes flew by and Wang Miao picked himself back up after a crisis of faith -- that's when I remembered that this originally happened in Episode 5, because the series finishes up its set-up after this and kicks into a different gear. So things are now moving around 20% faster, as if someone pressed '1.25 playback-speed' button and injected an energy/momentum that was missing in the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition.
The images also seemed brighter and the color-grading more natural -- though I don't know if this is due to the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut being produced for streaming (& viewing on smallemobile devices) rather than TV. But there are pros and cons to this -- on the one hand, the Red Coast Base was mostly sets mixed with CGI, so brighter images tend to reveal their budget/set limitations; on the other hand, the 'present-day' footage was mostly shot on real locations (including the nano-lab, antenna array, etc.) and looked more normal/realistic without the 'cyber-punk' color filters used in the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition.
It also became clear to me that the director had shot lots of footage and alternate takes. Instead of extended close-ups of talking heads, there are now more cut-aways to reaction shots of characters listening to them or medium-wide shots showing their body language. These are obviously minimal changes, imperceptible to those haven't seen the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition, but this is an example of why pacing IS editing in the medium of film -- even when the exact same lines are spoken, allowing audiences to 'look around' the sets/characters makes the film come 'alive'.
But there were more than a few things that irritated the Chinese fans and prompted their demand for a director's cut: e.g. it's one thing to give Da Shi's assistant or Wang Miao's wife more screen time and things to do, because you can't avoid showing them along with the main characters in a dramatic/visual medium (even though they don't do much in the book); but it's another thing to give minor characters like Sha Ruishan (which only appear once or serve only one plot-point) extra plot-points or even create new characters and sub-plots, which do nothing for the actual plot or world-building.
Contrary to TV/Franchise-writing -- which seeks to fill as much screen (and advertising) time with as many character arcs and plot diversions as possible -- what made ROEP so binge-able is the fact Liu Cixin was always trying to pare down his writing to make sure that, even with huge amounts of 'plot/info/character dumps' (& having a day job), the pacing of his densely and intricately plotted story doesn't drag out more than it has to.
So in the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut: the screen time and CHEAP comedy routines of Sha Ruishan and the investigative reporter have been cut in half, and the absolutely RIDICULOUS sub-plots of the PDC openly incarcerating scientists with the ETO openly antagonising the PDC have been completely removed! And now that things are moving along 20% faster, there is only one thing you need to do if anything is irritating you or breaking your immersion: just hang on for a few more minutes and the plot/characters will move on to something else!
Of course, the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut didn't get a budget to produce new footage or re-render the effects, so many issues and even incongruities with the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition remained. E.g. scenes of General Chang Weisi smoking have been added back in (you didn't even realise he was a smoker in the Original/TV-Edition), but his cigarette would magically 'disappear' in one shot (i.e. digitally removed in the Original/TV-Edition) and reappear in the next (footage added in the Director's/Anniversary Cut).
Well, there's always the second (the first was scrapped) Chinese live-action movie adaptation (still in pre-production) to look forward to....
----
(3) COMPARISONS:
It's always interesting to make comparisions between different ROEP adaptations -- and the distinguishing factors between the 4 (out of 6 existing) dramatic/visual adaptations* that I've seen are: (a) "made BY fan or non-fans" and (b) "made FOR fan or non-fans". But let me make one thing clear from the start -- I am NOT making any recommendations, because my personal favourite is 'My Three Body (2014-)' and I have given up trying to get anyone to watch it. If you disagree with my assessments/comments in any way, then you are perfectly right within your own lived-experience.
(i) 'My Three Body (我的三体, 2014-; Seasons 1-3 covering Books I & II, Season 4 in production)' -- made by ROEP fans, strictly for ROEP fans: its narrative is so condensed and its voxel(cube)-based animation so basic, that only hardcore ROEP fans can appreciate how utterly brilliant the screenplay is in capturing ALL of pivotal plot-points AND adding relevant new ones in 10-minute long webisodes. It has been retrospectively licensed by TBU (Three Body Universe, Chinese holding company of ROEP adaptations rights) and was funded/released as a cheap way of advertising/promoting ROEP (My Three Body's production budget wouldn't buy you much TV/commercial air-time anyway).
(ii) Bilibili's 'Three Body (2022-23, Season 1 only - discontinued)' -- made by YHKT (艺画开天, a Chinese 3D-animation studio), strictly for the fans of YHKT and its cheap, flashy kind of 3D-animated story-telling: together with the fan-written sequel to ROEP, these are 'the twin evils which must never be named' (but will forever be mocked) by Chinese ROEP fans. It starts from ROEP Book II, inserts a few flashbacks from Book I, and ends up somewhere on the Space Elevator before running out of time/budget -- clearly a commercial gamble to trick investors in financing season 2, despite their failure to think through what they wanted to adapt from ROEP and how to do it within season 1's budget/schedule.
(iii) Tencent's 'Three Body (2023, 30 Episodes)' & 'Three Body Anniversary Edition (2024, 26 Episodes)' -- made by ROEP fans (from the director, producer & scriptwriter, etc.; down to the actor for Da Shi, who liked the character so much that he campaigned to get the role and wore body-make-up for it because his complexion was too fair); and made for a more targeted audience on a streaming platform, but first edited and released for general TV audiences (the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition), and later re-edited and re-released on the demands of Chinese ROEP fans (the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut, which I've reviewed above). The director took the dissing of the Chinese fans very well (since he's actually part of the Chinese ROEP fan community) and cut out as much of the 'padding/filler' (e.g. 'artsy' editing, 'clever' sub-plots, 'interesting' character developments, etc.) as he could, so the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut is the keeper if you are interested at all and can find it.
(iv) Netflix's '3 Body Problem (2024, 8 Episodes)' -- made by non-ROEP fans (political correctness requires that the Ameri-west production repeat their media and governments' lies about China and diss the non-conformity of ROEP/Da Liu), and made for non-ROEP fans (political correctness requires that the Ameri-western audience repeat their media and governments' lies about China and diss the non-conformity of ROEP/Da Liu). I expected some kind of highlights-reel for ROEP, but it just reminded me of every single time I re-read the books JUST for 'Operation Guzheng/Zither' or the 'Doomsday Battle', etc. -- the 'big moments' just don't land when there isn't enough build-up. So it sort of fell flat for me cos I already know the story, and the production/special effects is nothing to write home about; whereas Tencent's production created more engagement and better pay-offs when given the time it needs, cos that's the strength of taking a long-form 'day-time TV' approach.
I do have to point out that since I (can) read ROEP in Chinese, Chinese adaptations/productions generally have a greater air of authenticity for me -- cos with the endless number of period Chinese dramas set around the Cultural Revolution, Ameri-western studios/productions just can't stand up to the competition (especially when dubbed with English dialog, not to mention the other historical details). But I don't feel any cultural/national pride (or shame) for Chinese studios or productions (or Ameri-western ones, for that matter, it's not like I have shares in Netflix) -- though I understand why Chinese ROEP fans are angry at (ii), or laughing at (iv) the way they laugh at Ameri-western media and governments' lies about China.
In summary, as a fan of the Chinese ROEP (vs a Chinese ROEP fan): I loved (i); could laugh at (ii); liked (iii) enough to check out the director's cut; and would just leave (iv) for the English-speaking Non-ROEP fans of Netflix. And as far as I'm concerned, nothing tops (or 'sullies') the experience of reading the books -- which will always stay with me.
*PS. (a) Complete recordings of the Chinese stage-play adaptations of Book I and Book II, 'Three Body' (2016) & 'Three Body II: Dark Forest' (2019) respectively, have not surfaced anywhere that I know of; while (b) the Chinese interactive/immersive stage-play 'Three Body - Beyond Gravity' (2023-; premiered in Shanghai and now on tour in Hangzhou, I think) merely adapts 1 of the story-arcs in Book III -- with professional stage-actors taking on named characters like Guan Yifan & Yun Tianming, the audience role-plays as the crew of the Gravity and votes on whether to make the Gravitional Wave broadcast at the end (no prizes for guessing which way the audience/crew chooses most of the time).
submitted by Forestaller to threebodyproblem [link] [comments]
(1) TL;DR:
If you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition of Tencent's Chinese live-action adaptation of ROEP Book I, 'Three Body (2023)', was bad -- you might find that the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition (2024) is now watchable.
But if you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was watchable -- the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition is now quite good.
And if you thought the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was quite good -- the 26-Episode Director's Cut or Anniversary/Streaming Edition is now pretty great.
----
(2) REVIEW:
I was originally somewhere in the camp of 'the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition was bad-to-watchable'. I can re-watch the tension-filled 20 minutes of 'Operation Guzheng/Zither' any number of times, and always enjoyed both (young and old) Ye Wenjie's portrayals of repressed (young) or world-weary (old) hurt and happiness -- but the pacing/editing of the whole series was such a turn-off that I could never make myself go through it a second time.
However, the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut -- made in response to the demands of Chinese ROEP fans -- has finally taken care of that problem for me. Like most Chinese fans, I sat through the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition because I/we understood why Tencent would want to reach a larger audience and premiere the series (originally intended for its own streaming platform) on free-to-air TV. So when the TV deal came through, the series was (re-)edited and padded with 'filler' to fit a prime-time (aka. 'family hour') broadcast schedule -- i.e. 30 episodes in an 'hourly' format' (actually 40+ minutes with 15-20 minutes of commercials) and minimal to no blood, sex, violence, swearing, smoking, etc...
But this time round, I didn't even notice how much of the slow-motion repeats, musical montages and flashback inserts have been pared down until the first 4 episodes flew by and Wang Miao picked himself back up after a crisis of faith -- that's when I remembered that this originally happened in Episode 5, because the series finishes up its set-up after this and kicks into a different gear. So things are now moving around 20% faster, as if someone pressed '1.25 playback-speed' button and injected an energy/momentum that was missing in the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition.
The images also seemed brighter and the color-grading more natural -- though I don't know if this is due to the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut being produced for streaming (& viewing on smallemobile devices) rather than TV. But there are pros and cons to this -- on the one hand, the Red Coast Base was mostly sets mixed with CGI, so brighter images tend to reveal their budget/set limitations; on the other hand, the 'present-day' footage was mostly shot on real locations (including the nano-lab, antenna array, etc.) and looked more normal/realistic without the 'cyber-punk' color filters used in the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition.
It also became clear to me that the director had shot lots of footage and alternate takes. Instead of extended close-ups of talking heads, there are now more cut-aways to reaction shots of characters listening to them or medium-wide shots showing their body language. These are obviously minimal changes, imperceptible to those haven't seen the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition, but this is an example of why pacing IS editing in the medium of film -- even when the exact same lines are spoken, allowing audiences to 'look around' the sets/characters makes the film come 'alive'.
But there were more than a few things that irritated the Chinese fans and prompted their demand for a director's cut: e.g. it's one thing to give Da Shi's assistant or Wang Miao's wife more screen time and things to do, because you can't avoid showing them along with the main characters in a dramatic/visual medium (even though they don't do much in the book); but it's another thing to give minor characters like Sha Ruishan (which only appear once or serve only one plot-point) extra plot-points or even create new characters and sub-plots, which do nothing for the actual plot or world-building.
Contrary to TV/Franchise-writing -- which seeks to fill as much screen (and advertising) time with as many character arcs and plot diversions as possible -- what made ROEP so binge-able is the fact Liu Cixin was always trying to pare down his writing to make sure that, even with huge amounts of 'plot/info/character dumps' (& having a day job), the pacing of his densely and intricately plotted story doesn't drag out more than it has to.
So in the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut: the screen time and CHEAP comedy routines of Sha Ruishan and the investigative reporter have been cut in half, and the absolutely RIDICULOUS sub-plots of the PDC openly incarcerating scientists with the ETO openly antagonising the PDC have been completely removed! And now that things are moving along 20% faster, there is only one thing you need to do if anything is irritating you or breaking your immersion: just hang on for a few more minutes and the plot/characters will move on to something else!
Of course, the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut didn't get a budget to produce new footage or re-render the effects, so many issues and even incongruities with the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition remained. E.g. scenes of General Chang Weisi smoking have been added back in (you didn't even realise he was a smoker in the Original/TV-Edition), but his cigarette would magically 'disappear' in one shot (i.e. digitally removed in the Original/TV-Edition) and reappear in the next (footage added in the Director's/Anniversary Cut).
Well, there's always the second (the first was scrapped) Chinese live-action movie adaptation (still in pre-production) to look forward to....
----
(3) COMPARISONS:
It's always interesting to make comparisions between different ROEP adaptations -- and the distinguishing factors between the 4 (out of 6 existing) dramatic/visual adaptations* that I've seen are: (a) "made BY fan or non-fans" and (b) "made FOR fan or non-fans". But let me make one thing clear from the start -- I am NOT making any recommendations, because my personal favourite is 'My Three Body (2014-)' and I have given up trying to get anyone to watch it. If you disagree with my assessments/comments in any way, then you are perfectly right within your own lived-experience.
(i) 'My Three Body (我的三体, 2014-; Seasons 1-3 covering Books I & II, Season 4 in production)' -- made by ROEP fans, strictly for ROEP fans: its narrative is so condensed and its voxel(cube)-based animation so basic, that only hardcore ROEP fans can appreciate how utterly brilliant the screenplay is in capturing ALL of pivotal plot-points AND adding relevant new ones in 10-minute long webisodes. It has been retrospectively licensed by TBU (Three Body Universe, Chinese holding company of ROEP adaptations rights) and was funded/released as a cheap way of advertising/promoting ROEP (My Three Body's production budget wouldn't buy you much TV/commercial air-time anyway).
(ii) Bilibili's 'Three Body (2022-23, Season 1 only - discontinued)' -- made by YHKT (艺画开天, a Chinese 3D-animation studio), strictly for the fans of YHKT and its cheap, flashy kind of 3D-animated story-telling: together with the fan-written sequel to ROEP, these are 'the twin evils which must never be named' (but will forever be mocked) by Chinese ROEP fans. It starts from ROEP Book II, inserts a few flashbacks from Book I, and ends up somewhere on the Space Elevator before running out of time/budget -- clearly a commercial gamble to trick investors in financing season 2, despite their failure to think through what they wanted to adapt from ROEP and how to do it within season 1's budget/schedule.
(iii) Tencent's 'Three Body (2023, 30 Episodes)' & 'Three Body Anniversary Edition (2024, 26 Episodes)' -- made by ROEP fans (from the director, producer & scriptwriter, etc.; down to the actor for Da Shi, who liked the character so much that he campaigned to get the role and wore body-make-up for it because his complexion was too fair); and made for a more targeted audience on a streaming platform, but first edited and released for general TV audiences (the 30-Episode Original/TV-Edition), and later re-edited and re-released on the demands of Chinese ROEP fans (the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut, which I've reviewed above). The director took the dissing of the Chinese fans very well (since he's actually part of the Chinese ROEP fan community) and cut out as much of the 'padding/filler' (e.g. 'artsy' editing, 'clever' sub-plots, 'interesting' character developments, etc.) as he could, so the 26-Episode Director's/Anniversary Cut is the keeper if you are interested at all and can find it.
(iv) Netflix's '3 Body Problem (2024, 8 Episodes)' -- made by non-ROEP fans (political correctness requires that the Ameri-west production repeat their media and governments' lies about China and diss the non-conformity of ROEP/Da Liu), and made for non-ROEP fans (political correctness requires that the Ameri-western audience repeat their media and governments' lies about China and diss the non-conformity of ROEP/Da Liu). I expected some kind of highlights-reel for ROEP, but it just reminded me of every single time I re-read the books JUST for 'Operation Guzheng/Zither' or the 'Doomsday Battle', etc. -- the 'big moments' just don't land when there isn't enough build-up. So it sort of fell flat for me cos I already know the story, and the production/special effects is nothing to write home about; whereas Tencent's production created more engagement and better pay-offs when given the time it needs, cos that's the strength of taking a long-form 'day-time TV' approach.
I do have to point out that since I (can) read ROEP in Chinese, Chinese adaptations/productions generally have a greater air of authenticity for me -- cos with the endless number of period Chinese dramas set around the Cultural Revolution, Ameri-western studios/productions just can't stand up to the competition (especially when dubbed with English dialog, not to mention the other historical details). But I don't feel any cultural/national pride (or shame) for Chinese studios or productions (or Ameri-western ones, for that matter, it's not like I have shares in Netflix) -- though I understand why Chinese ROEP fans are angry at (ii), or laughing at (iv) the way they laugh at Ameri-western media and governments' lies about China.
In summary, as a fan of the Chinese ROEP (vs a Chinese ROEP fan): I loved (i); could laugh at (ii); liked (iii) enough to check out the director's cut; and would just leave (iv) for the English-speaking Non-ROEP fans of Netflix. And as far as I'm concerned, nothing tops (or 'sullies') the experience of reading the books -- which will always stay with me.
*PS. (a) Complete recordings of the Chinese stage-play adaptations of Book I and Book II, 'Three Body' (2016) & 'Three Body II: Dark Forest' (2019) respectively, have not surfaced anywhere that I know of; while (b) the Chinese interactive/immersive stage-play 'Three Body - Beyond Gravity' (2023-; premiered in Shanghai and now on tour in Hangzhou, I think) merely adapts 1 of the story-arcs in Book III -- with professional stage-actors taking on named characters like Guan Yifan & Yun Tianming, the audience role-plays as the crew of the Gravity and votes on whether to make the Gravitional Wave broadcast at the end (no prizes for guessing which way the audience/crew chooses most of the time).
2024.03.21 10:00 HereLiesMissNobody Solo Japan Trip - Highlights, Lowlights, Tips etc.
This is my second trip to Japan from 3rd March to 16th March.
I travelled with Air China from London to Tokyo with 3-4hr layovers in Shanghai. Website is terrible and it takes several attempts to be able to check in, only to not be able to get your boarding pass. Transfer at Shanghai was terrible. Spent the whole time in a queue. By the time I got through security, I had to run to my gate. Terrible but flights were cheap.
In Tokyo, I stayed at the Tosei Hotel Cocone Asakusa Kuramae. For me the location was good. Easy to get to from Narita. Good transport links (Ginza Line). Hotel room is a little small so not ideal for big suitcases. Has a public bath but it’s not tattoo friendly.
First 2 days, I did the majority of my shopping to get it out of the way. Went to Matsumoto Kiyoshi, Donki and Daiso. I was shopping for skincare, snacks and other little trinkets. Visited OK Store in Asakusa. It’s a cheap discount supermarket chain that offers tax free. Bought a lot of snacks here.
Visited an English speaking salon - Tokyo Baroque. Got a digital perm done with 10% discount for your first visit. Including the wash, cut and blow dry, it took around 3 hours. Salon is located close to Harajuku and Shibuya so afterwards I headed over there.
Booked a tour on GetYourGuide to see Mt. Fuji, Hakone, Lake Ashi w/ buffet lunch. In my opinion it wasn’t worth it. Only got up to the 1st station and couldn’t see Fuji. Spent the majority of the day on the bus. We didn’t get much time to explore at each destination. Lunch was mediocre.
Sensoji. I went at around 9am and already there were a lot of tourists. All the food stalls and market shops didn’t open till 10am. It’s a beautiful temple to visit and it was a short 10 minute walk from my hotel.
Yanaka Ginza - Yadorigi Cafe. Didn’t plan on visiting any animal/cat cafes due to concerns about animal welfare but stumbled upon one that rescues stray cats and all the cats are up for adoption. I could see that the cats were well taken care of and that they really cared. They also serve really delicious italian food. I stayed for 2 hours with a drink, main course and dessert for less than ¥3000. Cats were super friendly. I went at a quiet time/day and lots of the cats were happy to take a nap in someone’s lap.
Mt. Takao. Small mountain (599M) just outside of Tokyo. Made a last minute decision the night before to visit. Hiked up to trail 3 and walked through the forests of Takao. For the descent, I hiked down part of trail 1 before finishing off with the chair lift. Wasn’t easy but one of the highlights of my trip.
Shin-Okubo, Tokyo’s Koreatown. Loud and vibrant but very, very crowded. Initially wanted to do some skincare/make up shopping but I couldn’t handle the crowds. Picked up some ganjang gejang/raw marinated crab for dinner.
Tokyo - Sendai - Ishinomaki - Cat Island. Started using my JR Pass (expensive but for me it was worth it). Travelled up to Sendai via bullet train. Sendai was pretty boring. We wondered around the shopping streets trying to kill time before our dinner reservation at a yakiniku place. Sendai is famous for beef tongue so I gave that a try and it was pretty good.
Stayed at an Airbnb in Ishinomaki and got the first ferry to the island in the morning. Don’t bring lots of luggage with you because there was a lot of uphill walking and the roads can be quite steep. The Airbnb was a lovely traditional Japanese house but it was absolutely freezing. Outside temp at night was around -2C. Luckily the host prepared a kotatsu and heated blankets for us. Heated toilet seats were a nice bonus too. The host had 3 cats and 1 cat was especially friendly and very chatty.
I enjoyed visiting cat island. Weather was nice and skies were clear. We went on a nice walk across the island but some roads are pretty steep and will give you a bit of a workout. In terms of health, the cats weren’t any different to your typical stray. I didn’t see any cats with what looked to be major health issues. A lot of the cats were super friendly and super cute. There are a lot of signs saying not to feed the cats so it was frustrating to see some other tourists with cat treats and empty cat treats packaging littered in the public toilets.
Ishinomaki. One of the hardest hit cities during the 2011 earthquake. We visited the Kadonowaki Elementary School ruins which has been converted into a museum. They have preserved some of the school rooms so you are able to see the extent of the damage caused by the earthquake, tsunami and fires. It costs ¥600 to enter. Unfortunately the exhibits didn’t include much English so I did have to rely on Google translate.
Osaka. Tokyo - Osaka via bullet train using my JR Pass. Decided to have my base in Osaka and travel out to other places. Stayed at the Hearton Hotel Nishiumeda. Lucky enough to have a room on the quieter side but even then it was loud from being so close to the station. Not the best hotel I’ve stayed at. Room was dark and dingy. Carpet looked like it hadn’t been hoovered properly.
Dotonbori. Osaka is a good place for food and nightlife but unfortunately just not my cup of tea. Dotonbori looked gorgeous at night with all the city lights but it was super crowded and felt like a street with tourist trap shops. I can tick it off my list but probably wouldn’t visit again.
Fushimi Inari. Woke up super early to get to Fushimi Inari from my hotel in Osaka. Started the hike at 6am. Barely any other tourists around and so the hike was super peaceful. Started seeing more people when I got to the top and when I reached the bottom. Saw a couple of stray cats that were fairly friendly.
Hozugawa River Boat Ride. Price was ¥6000 so it’s a little expensive. I regret not purchasing the ticket on Klook when it was around £20 before the price increase. The ride takes around 1.5hrs and ends at the Arashiyama area. I got on the first boat of the day. River was pretty eerie with the morning fog rolling off the water. The sun came out later and it was a really scenic ride down the river. The boat men don’t speak much English so don’t expect a detailed guided tour. Towards the end, you pull up to a boat that sells food. I tried dango for the first time. They offered snacks, drinks, dango, oden and grilled squid.
Iwatayama Monkey Park. Entry fee is ¥600 and cash only. I made the mistake of not bringing cash so I had to go and find an ATM. The hike up takes around 20 mins and it involves climbing up stairs and steep paths so be prepared for lots of uphill walking. The view from the top was beautiful. You are able to feed the monkeys with a small pouch of apple/peanuts for ¥50.
Nara. Fed the deer at Nara park. You can buy a small set of deer crackers for ¥200. The deer are cute but can be aggressive when they see the crackers. They will nudge/head butt you to get your attention. Literally saw a deer head butt a guy before it bit his ass.
Abandoned JR Fukuchiyama railway hike. One of my favourite places I visited on my trip. Started from JR Namaze and ended at JR Takedao. Pretty easy hike except for the uneven terrain due to the railway tracks and rocks. Hardest part was finding the start of the trail. You have to walk through a busy highway tunnel which made me think I was walking in the wrong direction. You definitely need a good torch for this hike because of the tunnels. I bought a cheap ¥100 one from Daiso. Combined with my iPhone torch, it was just about enough. I definitely recommend buying a better quality torch as it is pitch black inside the tunnels. There are 6 tunnels in total and the 2nd tunnel was the longest and I can’t lie, it scared me (wasn’t a good idea to have watched the horror movie The Descent recently). Out in the daylight, the river scenery was stunning. I was alone for pretty much the whole trail. I only saw two people taking photos - one right at the start and one at the end.
Sushiro - if you’re not a sushi snob but love sushi, I would recommend this place. For a budget place, the sushi quality was great. Miles better and cheaper than what you can get in the UK. It’s fun to order off the tablet and have the plate delivered to you via the conveyor belt. I love fatty salmon sushi and two of the nicer, more expensive sushi places I went to didn’t have it on the menu.
Ichiran. Viral on social media but I have heard that it’s overhyped so I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. For me, it was the best ramen I had on my trip. It comes down to personal tastes and I liked customising my broth so that it was medium intensity. The broth at other places was too rich for my liking. It’s more expensive than other ramen places but for me, it was worth it. Paid for a noodle refill and I had to waddle out of the restaurant afterwards.
Kimchi. The worst thing I ate on my trip lol. I was craving sour, spicy kimchi but all the kimchi I tried was sweet with no spice. The worst offender was at the yakiniku place in Sendai. It was just sugary cabbage.
Tips:
submitted by HereLiesMissNobody to JapanTravel [link] [comments]
I travelled with Air China from London to Tokyo with 3-4hr layovers in Shanghai. Website is terrible and it takes several attempts to be able to check in, only to not be able to get your boarding pass. Transfer at Shanghai was terrible. Spent the whole time in a queue. By the time I got through security, I had to run to my gate. Terrible but flights were cheap.
In Tokyo, I stayed at the Tosei Hotel Cocone Asakusa Kuramae. For me the location was good. Easy to get to from Narita. Good transport links (Ginza Line). Hotel room is a little small so not ideal for big suitcases. Has a public bath but it’s not tattoo friendly.
First 2 days, I did the majority of my shopping to get it out of the way. Went to Matsumoto Kiyoshi, Donki and Daiso. I was shopping for skincare, snacks and other little trinkets. Visited OK Store in Asakusa. It’s a cheap discount supermarket chain that offers tax free. Bought a lot of snacks here.
Visited an English speaking salon - Tokyo Baroque. Got a digital perm done with 10% discount for your first visit. Including the wash, cut and blow dry, it took around 3 hours. Salon is located close to Harajuku and Shibuya so afterwards I headed over there.
Booked a tour on GetYourGuide to see Mt. Fuji, Hakone, Lake Ashi w/ buffet lunch. In my opinion it wasn’t worth it. Only got up to the 1st station and couldn’t see Fuji. Spent the majority of the day on the bus. We didn’t get much time to explore at each destination. Lunch was mediocre.
Sensoji. I went at around 9am and already there were a lot of tourists. All the food stalls and market shops didn’t open till 10am. It’s a beautiful temple to visit and it was a short 10 minute walk from my hotel.
Yanaka Ginza - Yadorigi Cafe. Didn’t plan on visiting any animal/cat cafes due to concerns about animal welfare but stumbled upon one that rescues stray cats and all the cats are up for adoption. I could see that the cats were well taken care of and that they really cared. They also serve really delicious italian food. I stayed for 2 hours with a drink, main course and dessert for less than ¥3000. Cats were super friendly. I went at a quiet time/day and lots of the cats were happy to take a nap in someone’s lap.
Mt. Takao. Small mountain (599M) just outside of Tokyo. Made a last minute decision the night before to visit. Hiked up to trail 3 and walked through the forests of Takao. For the descent, I hiked down part of trail 1 before finishing off with the chair lift. Wasn’t easy but one of the highlights of my trip.
Shin-Okubo, Tokyo’s Koreatown. Loud and vibrant but very, very crowded. Initially wanted to do some skincare/make up shopping but I couldn’t handle the crowds. Picked up some ganjang gejang/raw marinated crab for dinner.
Tokyo - Sendai - Ishinomaki - Cat Island. Started using my JR Pass (expensive but for me it was worth it). Travelled up to Sendai via bullet train. Sendai was pretty boring. We wondered around the shopping streets trying to kill time before our dinner reservation at a yakiniku place. Sendai is famous for beef tongue so I gave that a try and it was pretty good.
Stayed at an Airbnb in Ishinomaki and got the first ferry to the island in the morning. Don’t bring lots of luggage with you because there was a lot of uphill walking and the roads can be quite steep. The Airbnb was a lovely traditional Japanese house but it was absolutely freezing. Outside temp at night was around -2C. Luckily the host prepared a kotatsu and heated blankets for us. Heated toilet seats were a nice bonus too. The host had 3 cats and 1 cat was especially friendly and very chatty.
I enjoyed visiting cat island. Weather was nice and skies were clear. We went on a nice walk across the island but some roads are pretty steep and will give you a bit of a workout. In terms of health, the cats weren’t any different to your typical stray. I didn’t see any cats with what looked to be major health issues. A lot of the cats were super friendly and super cute. There are a lot of signs saying not to feed the cats so it was frustrating to see some other tourists with cat treats and empty cat treats packaging littered in the public toilets.
Ishinomaki. One of the hardest hit cities during the 2011 earthquake. We visited the Kadonowaki Elementary School ruins which has been converted into a museum. They have preserved some of the school rooms so you are able to see the extent of the damage caused by the earthquake, tsunami and fires. It costs ¥600 to enter. Unfortunately the exhibits didn’t include much English so I did have to rely on Google translate.
Osaka. Tokyo - Osaka via bullet train using my JR Pass. Decided to have my base in Osaka and travel out to other places. Stayed at the Hearton Hotel Nishiumeda. Lucky enough to have a room on the quieter side but even then it was loud from being so close to the station. Not the best hotel I’ve stayed at. Room was dark and dingy. Carpet looked like it hadn’t been hoovered properly.
Dotonbori. Osaka is a good place for food and nightlife but unfortunately just not my cup of tea. Dotonbori looked gorgeous at night with all the city lights but it was super crowded and felt like a street with tourist trap shops. I can tick it off my list but probably wouldn’t visit again.
Fushimi Inari. Woke up super early to get to Fushimi Inari from my hotel in Osaka. Started the hike at 6am. Barely any other tourists around and so the hike was super peaceful. Started seeing more people when I got to the top and when I reached the bottom. Saw a couple of stray cats that were fairly friendly.
Hozugawa River Boat Ride. Price was ¥6000 so it’s a little expensive. I regret not purchasing the ticket on Klook when it was around £20 before the price increase. The ride takes around 1.5hrs and ends at the Arashiyama area. I got on the first boat of the day. River was pretty eerie with the morning fog rolling off the water. The sun came out later and it was a really scenic ride down the river. The boat men don’t speak much English so don’t expect a detailed guided tour. Towards the end, you pull up to a boat that sells food. I tried dango for the first time. They offered snacks, drinks, dango, oden and grilled squid.
Iwatayama Monkey Park. Entry fee is ¥600 and cash only. I made the mistake of not bringing cash so I had to go and find an ATM. The hike up takes around 20 mins and it involves climbing up stairs and steep paths so be prepared for lots of uphill walking. The view from the top was beautiful. You are able to feed the monkeys with a small pouch of apple/peanuts for ¥50.
Nara. Fed the deer at Nara park. You can buy a small set of deer crackers for ¥200. The deer are cute but can be aggressive when they see the crackers. They will nudge/head butt you to get your attention. Literally saw a deer head butt a guy before it bit his ass.
Abandoned JR Fukuchiyama railway hike. One of my favourite places I visited on my trip. Started from JR Namaze and ended at JR Takedao. Pretty easy hike except for the uneven terrain due to the railway tracks and rocks. Hardest part was finding the start of the trail. You have to walk through a busy highway tunnel which made me think I was walking in the wrong direction. You definitely need a good torch for this hike because of the tunnels. I bought a cheap ¥100 one from Daiso. Combined with my iPhone torch, it was just about enough. I definitely recommend buying a better quality torch as it is pitch black inside the tunnels. There are 6 tunnels in total and the 2nd tunnel was the longest and I can’t lie, it scared me (wasn’t a good idea to have watched the horror movie The Descent recently). Out in the daylight, the river scenery was stunning. I was alone for pretty much the whole trail. I only saw two people taking photos - one right at the start and one at the end.
Sushiro - if you’re not a sushi snob but love sushi, I would recommend this place. For a budget place, the sushi quality was great. Miles better and cheaper than what you can get in the UK. It’s fun to order off the tablet and have the plate delivered to you via the conveyor belt. I love fatty salmon sushi and two of the nicer, more expensive sushi places I went to didn’t have it on the menu.
Ichiran. Viral on social media but I have heard that it’s overhyped so I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. For me, it was the best ramen I had on my trip. It comes down to personal tastes and I liked customising my broth so that it was medium intensity. The broth at other places was too rich for my liking. It’s more expensive than other ramen places but for me, it was worth it. Paid for a noodle refill and I had to waddle out of the restaurant afterwards.
Kimchi. The worst thing I ate on my trip lol. I was craving sour, spicy kimchi but all the kimchi I tried was sweet with no spice. The worst offender was at the yakiniku place in Sendai. It was just sugary cabbage.
Tips:
- Pasmo. I added Pasmo to my iPhone wallet. Super easy to top up. You don’t need to open it up with face ID to use it, just tap your phone on the reader.
- Revolut. I used Revolut to exchange GBP into JPY for my trip. I kept an eye on the exchange rate and exchanged money when the Yen was at its weakest. No issues using my card or getting cash out with it. There is a £200 free cash withdrawal limit and that was more than enough for me.
- Tax free. I decided to open up the bags because otherwise there was no way for me to pack my suitcase properly. I kept the empty bags and receipts just in case. At the airport, I scanned my passport and that was it. No checks were done. A lot of people just ignored it and walked past. Wouldn’t necessarily recommend doing this as there is a risk they will check and make you pay the tax. If you can, keep it in the tax free bag.
- Train stations. Major train stations are massive with department stores attached. I had no issues navigating these stations and getting to the correct platform on time but I would recommend you leave some extra time just in case. When trying to figure out where you need to go, please don’t stand in the middle of the busy station with all your luggage. Move to the side or stand next to one of the pillars and out of the way.
- Mt. Fuji. On the bullet train from Osaka/Kyoto to Tokyo, reserve a seat/sit on the left hand side next to the window. If the weather is nice, you will be able to see Mt. Fuji.
- Comfy shoes. You will do a lot of walking when in Japan. Make sure your shoes are comfortable for walking long distances. You can also buy these cooling leg patches which were a god send. Combined with a hot bath at night at my hotel, I didn’t have a problem with aching feet.
- Be respectful. Don’t be those loud annoying tourists on the train. You are expected to get quiet on public transport. Please don’t leave your rubbish lying around because there are no bins.
- NERV app. I downloaded this while I was there just in case of an earthquake. Didn’t get any emergency alerts but still a little unnerving to get notifications about earthquakes nearby.
- Navitime. You can use google to figure the best trains to get but Navitime is also good, especially if you have a JR Pass. You can filter the search to see the routes that you can take with your pass.
- Pack light. It was easy for me to do laundry at the hotel but be warned that the dryers aren’t great. I hung everything up in the bathroom with the fan on. I personally didn’t have an issue with having to wait for a free washing machine late at night.
- Mobile data. I used Ubigi for my eSim. Use my code WEW6XY45 if you want 20% off. Didn’t have any issues with signal/connection except for in more remote places on my hikes. Easy to set up on my phone.
- Portable power bank. Very useful to ensure your phone doesn’t run out of battery.
- Travel adapters. I wish I didn’t bother buying one as I didn’t end up using it. You may still need one if you are bringing your own hairdryer, hair straighteners, shavers etc.
- Passport case. I bought myself a large, shiny passport case with small inner pockets to store my JR Pass and other tickets/seat reservations. I also kept my tax free receipts in there. You could also stick your airtag inside the case so in the event that you lose your passport, you can track it.
- Airtag. Lucky enough to not have issues with my luggage with the exception of a damaged zip. Put an airtag in my luggage just in case and for peace of mind.
- Pedestrian crossings. These look like zebra crossings here in the UK so don’t make the mistake of just walking across. Usually there will be a pedestrian traffic light above. Made this mistake once and got beeped at.
- There are vending machines for cigarettes and alcohol. The cigarette vending machines require a Japanese ID but anyone could buy alcohol. There was an alcohol vending machine on my floor at the hotel in Osaka that was stocked with beer.
- Smoking rooms on train station platforms. Walked past a room crammed full of japanese business men smoking cigarettes with a couple people vaping in there. The door will open and out comes a cloud of fruit scented cigarette smoke.
- Waiting at pedestrian crossing when the red man is showing but no cars to be seen. Here in the UK, I would have just walked across anyway but in Japan, people would wait for the light to turn green.
- Japan has a reputation for being quite high tech but at the same time, they are stuck in the past. Perhaps this is another sign of an aging population? I learned from my Japanese friend that they are only recently getting rid of floppy disks. Yes. Floppy disks.