Girl with pigtails in esurance commercial

No-Poo / Natural Haircare

2011.03.30 19:49 squidgirl No-Poo / Natural Haircare

A place to discuss natural haircare and alternatives to shampoo.
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2016.04.15 09:17 Discussion & Results of Transgender Surgeries

A sub for the discussion of surgeries, surgery results, surgeon satisfaction and the costs incurred by transgender people. RULE 5: THIS SUB IS FOR AND BY TRANS PEOPLE. Partners, caregivers, etc, with a legitimate interest in surgery may post if it's of clear benefit to a trans individual or the community. Intersex people with have related surgical interests may post. **DO NOT POST OTHERWISE.**
[link]


2016.05.15 05:29 BarelyLethal ladylifehacks

Tips or advice not necessarily exclusive to women. Useful modern tricks to improve the day to day life of anyone with a feminine side.
[link]


2024.05.14 05:45 NeverEndingHope [Unknown][Early 2000s] A fantasy game trailer/commercial with Kingdom Hearts 1-like graphics/models and a guy saving a girl chained up

This is kind of a foggy memory but I remember watching a commercial for a video game a long time ago. It felt like a dark fantasy setting with a traditional story outline where a guy has to go save a girl; in one scene, she's unconscious and bound in chains to a large cross or pole. It was a dark stormy atmosphere with maybe lightning or magical electricity.
I thought it might have been Kingdom Hearts related but after a lot of searching it doesn't seem to be; they might have had similar PS1 kind of graphics but I don't trust my memory that much. I feel like I saw this between 2001-2008.
Platform(s): Maybe PS1 or PS2 or maybe even PC
Genre: Fantasy (Dark Fantasy?)
Estimated year of release: Between 2001-2008
Graphics/art style: Kingdom Hearts 1 style graphics for character models I think
Notable characters: A girl (maybe blonde) wrapped up in chains to a cross or pole with lightning or electricity or magic; a guy who has to go save her
Any help or ideas would be appreciated!
submitted by NeverEndingHope to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 23:00 IndigoWolf4711 DAY 35-TRISTAN MACMANUS DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨️

DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨
Day Pro Dancer Quote
1 Karina Smirnoff "Is there any reason why your head looks like a pigeon?"
2 Valentin Chmerkovskiy "Bro, you're one big wrong already."
3 Witney Carson "What do you need, a snack?"
4 Anna Trebunskaya "Some people say I'm a tough teacher. And I am."
5 Brandon Armstrong "I was born in '94..."
6 Cheryl Burke "So the name of the song is 'Call Me Irresponsible', remind you of anybody? I think it's perfect for you!"
7 Edyta Śliwińska "I'm wearing so much clothes that I got tangled in it!"
8 Artem Chigvintsev "Fine! I watched 'Fifty Shades of Grey'!"
9 Corky Ballas "Now we're doing the Mambo which originated in the '40s!"...
10 Chelsie Hightower "South America speaks Spanish?"
11 Derek Hough "I'm rough, I'm tough, I'm Derek Hough."
12 Charlotte Jørgensen "Get your heel up on your back foot, or I'll kill you."
13 Allison Holker "Team Rallison!!!"
14 Julianne Hough "I felt like you just had to phone it in so you could get back with Meryl."
15 Alec Mazo "Josie is deceptively unfit."
16 Alan Bersten "It's a little shaky in here!"
17 Jenna Johnson "ADAM! WE GOTTA QUICKSTEP!!!"
18 Ashly DelGrosso-Costa "It needs to be equal teamwork, and I can't play a tug-of-war anymore."
19 Gleb Savchenko "You look like a dancer when you're not moving."
20 Kym Johnson-Herjavec "I should never have made us try that stupid lift..."
21 Maksim Chmerkovskiy "With all due respect, this is my show, I help make it what it is."
22 Lacey Schwimmer "STEVE!!! How am I supposed to be in love with you if you keep farting all the time?!?!"
23 Mark Ballas “And you said habede habeduh de de. Daba da dip bah da be. That’s what you said when I asked you."
24 Lindsay Arnold "That salsa will get ya-every time!"
25 Louis Van Amstel "I was jealous of Mark on Season 5, but I got the girl now!"
26 Koko Iwasaki "You're a real Jersey party boy, and I need you to be a suave English gentleman for Bond Night."
27 Keo Motsepe "If Len gives a 10, I'm gonna run down and kiss him!"
28 Peta Murgatroyd Her scream after finding out that she and Tommy Chong had made the semi-finals.
29 Pasha Pashkov "You don't know who I am, but I've been praying I get you!"
30 Sasha Farber "If you wanna dance, you know it would be my honour. My main worrybis your health."
31 Jonathan Roberts "Let's take a commercial break."
32 Daniella Karagach "YEAH! OH SHIT!!!"
33 Dmitry Chaplin "I feel like I'm cheating on Jewel with another partner."
34 Sharna Burgess "I got to do the Backstreet Boys' move next to a Backstreet Boy, and I think it's kinda awesome!"
35 Tristan MacManus
36 Britt Stewart
37 Rylee Arnold
38 Tony Dovolani
39 Emma Slater

Welcome to DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

A huge thank you to the lovely u/invader_holly who suggested the idea, and that I run this game here! 💕
How does it work?
Each day, I'll reshare this board. With each day is a new pro. Similarly to past games I've done like Dances of the Seasons, The Dancing with the Stars Alphabet, Favourite Dances Per Style, and The Pros' Most Memorable Dances, for every day, you can all comment a response. This time, the response would be a quote from the respective pro for that day! As with previous games, the comment with the most upvotes wins. At the end, I'll put together a video compilation together!
MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU WANT TO SUGGEST NUMEROUS QUOTES, DO THEM EACH IN A SEPERATE COMMENT. THE COMMENT WITH THE MOST UPVOTES WINS AND IS ADDED TO THE BOARD. IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE TRY AND ADD WHEN THE PRO SAYS THE QUOTE (SO I CAN FIND THE CLIP TO ADD TO THE VIDEO COMPILATION).
Yesterday's round was won by u/Alarming-Butterfly90 's suggestion!

DAY 35: TRISTAN MACMANUS

submitted by IndigoWolf4711 to dancingwiththestars [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 20:51 Enough_Apricot_640 Poodle my (Berne)Doodle!

Poodle my (Berne)Doodle!
This is Bailey, a stunning bernedoodle that mom has me put in a Miami, with pigtails of course! I love seeing this girl and her ‘silly’ haircut on my schedule 🥰
( plz no criticism on her bracelets, it was stormy here today and she was feeling anxious so they’re not my best 🤡 )
submitted by Enough_Apricot_640 to doggrooming [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 15:05 nomass39 I found an old recording of the most gruesome TV show ever broadcast

Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”
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2024.05.13 15:02 FelicitySmoak_ Monday, May 13, 2013 - Jackson v. AEG Live Day 10

Monday, May 13, 2013 - Jackson v. AEG Live Day 10
Trial Day 10
Katherine and Rebbie Jackson are in the courtroom.
Stacy Walker and Travis Payne, witnesses for AEG are testifying out of order as they will be leaving for Japan for work.
Stacy Walker Testimony
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AEG direct
AEG attorney Jessica Stebbins Bina is doing the direct examination.
Stacy Walker was the Associate Choreographer for the This Is It tour. She's a choreographer & director, has worked with MJ, Gaga, Britney Spears, Usher & others. Stacy Walker said she 1st worked w/ MJ in 96 on his movie, Ghosts, a job that she said was the break of her career.
"He never made a music video, only made movies," Walker said
On the "History" tour, Walker worked about 6 months. She was one of the two girl dancer in "The Way You Make Me Feel" :
"I feel it's my song"
History tour: dancers rehearsed by themselves in LA then went to France, rehearsed in a studio at Disneyland. MJ showed up one or two times. Walker didn't remember if MJ had a doctor on staff while on the History tour. She never saw any signs of drug abuse, saw MJ on stage -amazing!
Walker told the jury Travis Payne was the main choreographer for This Is It. She thinks she was an independent contractor hired by AEG. Walker said the casting of dancers began in April 2009. She was the associated choreographer, got direction from Payne/Ortega and Michael
Walker said for the This is It tour a lot of choreography was done many years ago. The only new one was "Drill" and everyone worked together. "Drill" was like a soldier marching dancing, Walker said.
"MJ said we can't use guns, since it was not good for the kids," Walker recalled
Walker said during rehearsals for This Is It in April/May 09, MJ was there occasionally, but they were teaching dancers the choreography
During rehearsals at the Forum, MJ was supposed to be there more often, Walker said. Payne worked w/ MJ, she was in charge of the dancers
Walker: "I can remember being frustrated at times, he (MJ) wasn't coming when we were hoping he would."
"I wasn't shocked he wasn't coming, I was irritated, but I wasn't shocked," Walker said, noting that maybe MJ wanted to stay with his kids
Walker said she never saw MJ sick. She said he seemed normal to her, he was much thinner, but she never felt he was acting intoxicated
"He looked much thinner to me than in 97"
She said, but she doesn't remember noticing a dramatic difference between April and June of 09.
Walker: "I remember 1 night he excused himself to his room, wasn't feeling well. He didn't say anything, it was a general understanding"
Walker remembered MJ wearing jackets/layers but didn't think of him being insanely cold:
"Different artists like different temperatures. He wore a lot of jackets, I assumed he was cold but he never said anything. I never saw him shivering. He just wore a lot of jackets"
She said she recalled one incident in which Jackson may have appeared groggy or drugged, but she said she couldn't remember whether she witnessed or heard about it from others on the show
Jessica Bina: "Did you ever see Michael Jackson drink any alcohol?" Walker: "No"
"My only concern was that he was really thin and I wish he ate more," Walker recalled
Walker got emotional when she said she wasn't looking for things that could be wrong w/ him at the time. "I wish I was," she said.
When she talked about his last two rehearsals, Walker cried saying he was great.
"He was great, I finally saw what I wanted to see. He was great, very bratty and sassy as he was. He was just a funny guy at times," Walker said
Walker said she called her mom after the rehearsal and asked her to buy a ticket for the opening and she did. "It was great." Walker said she was so encouraged she called her mother and asked her to buy a ticket for opening night in London and she did.
"It was great. I was very excited and relieved and hopeful", she testified

Bina:"Any doubts he could perform the tour?"
Walker: "Not after those two nights" (June 23 and 24)
She said despite Jackson missing multiple rehearsals, she was convinced based on his performances the last two days of his life that he was ready for the series of shows.
On June 25, Walker was rehearsing Michael's disappearing act. She said Payne called saying he heard on the radio MJ was in the hospital. Walker:
"I remember telling them don't worry, everything will be fine. I didn't believe, I thought that everything was going to be ok"

Bina: "When you heard Michael passed away, were you surprised?" Walker: "Yes, it was shocking, 12 hours ago he did "Beat It" and "Thriller" "
When asked if Walker was familiar with the name Dr. Conrad Murray, she said yes, but she never met him or knew who he was prior to June 25
Travis Payne had a loving, trusting relationship with MJ, Walker testified. Payne would go over to MJ's house around 1PM to work. Choreographer Travis Payne, she said, would often rehearse with Jackson in another room or at his rented mansion
Walker said she felt MJ was more open this time around. In Ghosts she said they didn't talk at all, but that he was so nice to everybody. Walker said she remembers telling MJ about McDonald's - he had never been and she told him he had to go
Regarding the This Is It tour, Walker doesn't know if MJ was excited.
"He always seemed happy, he liked to watch the dancers dance"
Walker said though MJ was the nicest person ever, they were not friends.
"Guarded is a strong word, he let people see Michael Jackson, not Michael"

"I just never in a million years thought he'd leave us or pass away. It just never crossed my mind", Walker said crying, "I was frustrated but never thought that would happen"
Walker didn't remember MJ having cold/stomach flu.
"I've seen people that were drunk or high and he didn't appear to be that way"
Jackson cross
Planitff's attorney Kevin Boyle did the cross examination. Boyle asked Walker if her job was to focus on dancers and not MJ. She said "Yes"
Boyle: "And it wasn't your job to look if he was sick?" Walker: "It was not"
She also agreed that it wasn't her job to supervise Dr. Murray or observe MJ's health. Walker didn't have info if Dr. Murray gave him Propofol
Walker: "I was relieved because he was there, he was going full out. Last 2 rehearsals it was the first time we saw everything come together"
Boyle plays clip of film Ghosts. Walker said MJ was pretty impressive, played 5 different roles.
"Probably one of the hardest jobs I had. He was a huge risk taker, was very innovative as a dancer and choreographer," Walker opined, saying he was an excellent dancer, confident
Walker said MJ and her were not friends, they had a work relationship. Walker never went to his house, had dinner or social interaction. MJ never told Walker about his health, never discussed Propofol use since they didn't talk about that stuff
Boyle: "Did you ever see Michael covered in blankets watching rehearsal with heaters?" Walker: "I never saw heaters or blankets"
Walker heard MJ had problems with prescription drugs from the press. She also heard about the sleeping problems. Walker said she knew Ortega kept on Michael about eating and thinks they had a massage therapist come in for him
"I've seen other artists bring chefs, masseuses, trainers sometimes," Walker said. The idea of bringing a doctor on tour didn't surprise her

Walker:"Michael didn't want to change the choreography, it wasn't broken, so why change it?" She thought it was going to be a great show
"Did Mr. Phillips ever tell you he instructed Mr. Gongaware in writing to take out footage that (made Jackson) look like a skeleton?", Boyle asked
"He didn't tell me that", Walker replied.
Christopher Rogers Testimony
Jackson direct
Dr. Christopher Rogers, a deputy medical examiner, began testifying last week, but was interrupted to take other witnesses
Rogers testifies that he found no conditions during Michael Jackson's autopsy that would affect his long-term survival. Death was not due to trauma and was not caused by natural disease.
"He died of acute Propofol toxicity," Dr. Rogers said

Koskoff: "Did you find any factors that could impact his long-term survival?"
Dr. Rogers: "From the autopsy, no I did not"
AEG cross
AEG lawyer Kathryn Cahan did the bulk of the afternoon questioning of Rogers. She focused on the prescription drug aspect of Jackson's death. In response to a Cahan question, Rogers says Jackson's death was considered a 'polypharmacy death'. That means it involved multiple drugs. Rogers noted that propofol was the main drug that killed Jackson, but told jury that other drugs (benzodiazepines) were present.
Dr. Rogers said Michael's doctor, Dr. Murray, made a statement to the police saying he wasn't breathing but he felt a faint pulse
Cahan also asked Dr. Rogers whether he knew about other doctors treating Jackson before his death. Rogers says "Yes". Rogers says he became aware that dermatologist Arnold Klein was treating Jackson. Dr. Rogers said he was uncertain who MJ's primary physician was, he understood he was seeing several doctors
Cahan also asked whether he ever concluded that any other doctors contributed to Jackson's death.
"I don't believe so", Rogers said.
Cahan also asks about Jackson's weight at the time of his death. He weighed 136 pounds & was 5'9 with a Body Mass Index of 20.1, Rogers tells jury. Rogers testified that Michael Jackson's Body Mass Index was within the normal range. A BMI figure below 18.5 would be underweight.
"He looked thin in comparison to most people", Rogers said.
He says Jackson did not appear emaciated. Dr. Rogers said Jackson's body didn't have characteristics of someone who starved to death or had anorexia. Rogers said
"Jackson's health appeared excellent"

Cahan: "Did you rule out starvation as a possible cause of death?"
Dr. Rogers: "Yes"
Cahan: "Was his general health excellent?"
Dr. Rogers: "As far as the autopsy goes, yes"
There was more testimony about the condition of Jackson's lungs, which were damaged in a way that might lead to pneumonia or other problems.
Autopsy report:
  • MJ had lung damage, which wasn't cause of death but made this individual especially susceptible to adverse health effects
Dr. Rogers said Michael had a bit of degeneration of the lower thoracic spine, degenerative osteoarthritis of lower lumbar. Not sure how painful it was
Rogers testified he was interested in role of prescription drugs in Jackson's death based on finding propofol and other meds at the scene. Dr. Rogers said he had some concerns about drug abuse due to the investigator's report listing all the medications found at the house. He said he didn't find any opiates, opioids or Demerol in MJ's body. He had 1 other case of Propofol overdose, a person in the medical field. Dr. Rogers testified that propofol shouldn't be given in a home setting & when someone is sedated they need to be continuously monitored. Propofol, he said
"caused his death by sedation. Essentially, he was so sedated his vital functions stopped."
Jackson re-direct
Plaintiff's attorney Michael Koskoff asks Rogers about whether hospital treatments might have added weight to Jackson's body. Koskoff doesn't state how much weight might have been added to Jackson based on IV treatments by paramedics and hospital staff. Under questioning by Koskoff, Rogers said that by the time the Michael was weighed, intravenous fluids had been administered to him in the ambulance and at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, which could have increased his weight
Rogers did say that Jackson's body had some fat, but that most of his weight appeared to be in his muscles. Rogers testified that Jackson didn't have much fat on him
"I don't know what his normal weight would be," Dr. Rogers expressed.
Rogers testified that Jackson's organs didn't show any sign of lasting damage. With that, he was done testifying
Travis Payne Testimony
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AEG direct
Travis Payne took the witness stand and began explaining his experience. Payne worked with Paula Abdul, Brandy, Diana Ross, Mick Jagger, Marilyn Manson & MJ among others.
He tells the jury about working on tours, music videos & video games.Payne worked on the Michael Jackson Experience video game. In the game, he taught players Jackson's dance moves. Payne first worked with Jackson on the "Remember the Time" film/music video. He was a dancer in the film. He then worked as a dancer and choreographer on Jackson's Dangerous tour. By that point, he'd developed a rapport with Jackson. He helped choreograph moves for the songs 'Dangerous" and "Jam" on the tour, Payne testified. He says it was a goal since being a child to be a dancer and work with Michael Jackson. The Dangerous tour was a realization of that dream.
"On the Dangerous tour, I was really very ecstatic. I was working with my idol",choreographer Travis Payne said.
During Dangerous his relationship with MJ grew. Payne said all he knew was that pain was an ongoing issue for MJ since the Pepsi commercial accident
Payne worked with MJ in Ghosts in 1995/96, then History tour, other tv shows & commercials and culminated with This Is It
On the HIStory tour, Payne said Jackson rehearsed both with and without his backup dancers.Rehearsals for the History tour was very extensive, Payne said. He was involved with selecting dancers, ideas for costumes and whatever was needed. Dancers would get up to speed in the beginning, MJ was good at giving space to learn
Travis Payne also worked with Jackson on One Night Only show that was canceled after incident in which Jackson fainted on stage.
Payne: "Michael had an incident, appeared to faint, we were asked to leave the theater and were told later the show was not going to happen"
Payne worked privately with Jackson on This Is It rehearsals. He says he didn't see any signs of drug abuse at this time. The choreographer also testifies that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. He says he saw no signs of addiction. Payne said he never saw MJ take drugs, medication or alcohol
"Nothing."
Payne said he knew there were physicians tending to MJ but dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein and nurse Debbie Rowe were the only medical professionals of Jackson's that he met
Payne said he worked with Kenny Ortega for many years. Payne and Ortega were in Vegas when Michael called Ortega asking to work on a new project. Payne didn't personally meet with MJ until after the press conference announcement. He said he was excited to work with him again
After mid-afternoon break, Payne resumed testifying about how he came to work on This Is It.
"I believe he missed performing. I believe he missed direct contact with his fans", Travis Payne says about why Jackson wanted to tour
Payne said he knew Michael was excited about the tour and his children, to share this experience with them. Payne first met with MJ in late March/2009
"He looked fine to me health wise, I thought he was thinner from what I have seen him in the past, but nothing alarming," Payne recalled
Payne said he found out that his role would not include dancing, he would choreograph and would be the associate director in This Is It. Payne testified This Is It would be different from Jackson's previous tours. AEG would be a partner, not a sponsor. The choreographer said Jackson explained to him that having AEG would be a good thing. Payne said this new way of doing business would revolutionize the way tours were done
Payne attended an April meeting at Michael's home. Said he saw no signs of impairment, drug abuse by the singer
Payne also testified that Jackson was involved in almost every detail of his scheduled shows, such as costume, wardrobe and set design, choosing the dancers and the bandleader.
Payne: "Everything started with Mr. Jackson, always. As his support team, we would contribute with ideas. MJ had the final word"
They auditioned 5,000 dancers, Michael chose the final ones & the band director also
Payne spent several minutes describing details of the This Is It show, including a torch and costume that would light up. Jackson wanted a torch in the Italian Baroque design. Actually, he wanted two, in case one broke, Payne tells jury. Payne also showed an email in which he described a costume for "Billie Jean", in which the clothing material would light up. When Payne was describing the illuminated "Billie Jean" costume, he looked out into the audience and nodded at Katherine Jackson. Bina shows an email Payne wrote. It said MJ was very persistent about having a torch, a concept that meant a lot to Michael.
Payne was then asked about his one-on-one rehearsals with Jackson at the singer's home. These were scheduled for 5 days a week.Payne said they started rehearsing after the press conference & stopped the day before Michael died. He spoke with him every day. MJ told Payne he expected him to be in every show. He wanted Payne to take notes to make sure the show was as perfect as possible.
"Customarily, we would see each other every day," Payne said
Payne worked with Jackson individually almost every day for the last three months of the singer's life. He ate lunches with Jackson, saying Michael's appetite varied daily. The choreographer said that as show time approached, MJ missed some rehearsals with the full crews, causing production to worry whether he would be ready
Payne said MJ's dancing seemed fine to him. He said they were working on things created decades before to make them age appropriate & dynamic. MJ was able to perform many of his familiar dance moves, although they had to be modified because the singer was 50 years old and not as limber as he had been decades earlier. He said Jackson was tired for some of the sessions and that
"some days would be better than others"
Payne and associate choreographer Stacy Walker said they were working to modify Jackson's dance routine to his age.
"I was realizing that's Michael Jackson, but he's not 20 or 30 any more. He's 50 and how is that going to be? We have to figure it out", Payne testified
"Drill" was the last thing they worked on together, Payne said. Michael had a great love for military precision
"He seemed very tired, we all were," Payne said
Payne testified that production wanted Michael to be more in attendance with all the cast, rather than just rehearsing by himself at his house.
Payne: "because there was inconsistency with MJ appearing at the rehearsal, production was concerned they would not meet their goals"
AEG attorney Bina asked Payne whether he thought Jackson could have finished the This Is It show. Payne said "Yes"
Payne said Jackson's goal was to sing every song live for This Is It, which he had not done in the past on every tour. This was a goal he set for himself. Michael had used vocal-assist tracks on previous shows, he said. By June 25, Payne said MJ had not developed the goal of singing and dancing at the same time but the choreographer thought he could have pulled it off.
After jurors left, Judge Palazuelos said she sustained plaintiff's objection and will not allow defense to use Dr. Murray's interview w/ LAPD. In it, Dr. Murray said he was hired by Michael to be paid by AEG. Plaintiffs said it's hearsay and judge agreed.
Court Transcript - Stacy Walker
Court Transcript - Christopher Rogers
Court Transcript - Travis Payne
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2024.05.13 14:58 Quick_Performance660 Bill meets Ryen for Happy Hour

Bill: This basketball series is like Patrick Mahomes in the football game when he's down 0-2 and then he throws up a Hail Mary and gets a hole-in-one
Ryen: Oh, I heard you say, "throw up," and I was like--
Bill: In the first two games, Edwards was like a combo of Pacino and Deniro in Heat and now he's like Tom Sizemore
Ryen: Right.
Bill: He's too much on the sidelines except when he grabs that girl hostage and you're like, "woah! Sizemore! Didn't know you had that in ya. Ya learn that with Matt?" Damon, who is a friend. But now he's way over sittin on the sidelines like Denzel in The Bone Collector. Or Redford in Misery
Ryen: James Caan
Bill: K. Bates kept hitting him with that thing and he was all laid up like Bo Jackson after he got hit. Oh he was great as the lawyer in The Rainmaker
Ryen: huh
Bill: Remember in the "Nothing but Net" commercials with Jordan and Bird and they kept saying "nothing but net" but the shots were more and more impossible but they kept hitting nothing but net, that's what the last season of Succession was like, where you're like, "woah! how are they going to pull this off?!" Then they pulled it off. That's what this basketball series has been like.
Ryen: Jokic has been really good.
Bill: He's like Gosling in The Big Short when he's jacked to the tits.
Ryen: Jokic was out for six minutes to go in the third, which was weird, because it's like, wait, he usually sits at the beginning of the fourth. But he came out with six minutes to go in the third for four minutes, and the team was plus six in that time and was four of six on the floor with three of four for free throws, then when Jokic came back for the first six minutes of the fourth he scored four points in three minutes.
Bill: Can you tell me how many #1 draft picks have ever been traded?
Ryen: Well, I'd have to think abo--
Bill: Three. It's been three of them.
Ryen: Oh
Bill: I asked Zoe that yesterday during Mother's Day when we were watching basketball. She didn't know. Her mother knew but only because I asked her the night before. Zoe's boyfriend didn't know either even though his granddad is Dick Wolfe
Ryen: Yeah
Bill: Remember when everyone thought Chris O' Donnell was going to be the next Brendan Frasier, and then he was Robin with Batman and now he's like Pablo Narcos at the end of Escobar. That's that guy from civil war movie who at first I thought was Pedro Pascal and then I was like, woah! It's this whole other guy. Okay, I'm headed home.
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2024.05.13 13:51 xtremexavier15 TMA 6

The logo's 'D' transitioned the scene back to the studio, the shot showing all the former cast members on stage – the six losers on the right, the three guests on the left, and the two hosts in the center.
"Welcome back to the Aftermath show!" Damien said happily to the audience as they gave their applause. "We're currently talking with Izzy about herself and her time on the show!" The crowd cheered.
"Now it's time for Izzy to play Truth or Hammer!" Priya announced and turned to the quirky guest. "Season two started off so well for you. Where did things go wrong?"
“I think it was when I turned down that secret alliance with Chef,” Izzy dropped, causing everyone to gasp.
Damien looked up at the hammer and saw that it didn't lower down at all. “Chef actually tried to form a secret alliance with you?”
“Uh-huh. He said he'd help me win this thing if I shared the money with him,” Izzy answered.
“Whoa,” Geoff spoke out in surprise.
“Totally did not expect that,” Eva added.
Damien then heard something in his earpiece. “Hey, I think we've got a never-before-seen clip!” he mentioned as the camera panned up to the television.
After the static played out, the footage featured Chef and Izzy standing next to a trailer on the film lot. “I'll help you man up and win this thing. We split the prize money fifty-fifty,” Chef negotiated.
Chef held out his hand for a handshake, prompting Izzy to karate kick him out of view as an intern holding a clipboard watched from the background.
“Oh, I don't think so!” Izzy declined the offer, the intern becoming scared as the clip ended.
The shot focused on the hosts shocked by what they saw. “Wow!” Priya said.
“I can't believe Chef did that!” Damien commented.
“The impact was big though!” Priya mentioned as the part of Izzy kicking Chef in the chest was zoomed in and a circle was drawn around Izzy's foot. “Check that out!”
The clip now moved in slow motion as Chef flew away while Izzy bounced away from her impact, causing the camera to focus on the scared-looking intern.
“I'd advise that intern to run away!” Damien said while the intern's head was circled on, earning laughter from the audience.
“I would never hurt that intern,” Izzy claimed, and she back flipped in order to avoid the swinging hammer. “Whoa! Nearly got me that time.” The next shot showed the same intern watching from afar dropping his clipboard and running away due to what Izzy said.
“So then what happened after?” Priya asked Izzy.
“My guess is Chef went and made a demon deal with Brick,” Izzy theorized. “Yeah, I think Chef threw the acting challenge with Justin so Brick's team won and I lost. But, hey, what do I know?”
"Apparently, a lot," Priya remarked.
"How about we hear from another viewer now?" Damien looked down at the display in front of him. "Gluepunks350 asks, "Do you think Brick will get busted?"”
“Well, I don't know about Brick, but I busted my arm once. Yeah, look, now I'm double jointed.” Izzy bent her left arm backwards. “I'm doing it! Backwards!”
Damien felt weirded out. "I think we should move on to our next guest."
"Correct," Priya nodded as the camera panned back up to the hanging television. "Trent being here is quite surprising," she said as footage began to play of Trent talking to Geoff about the latter's tooth and him talking about the sleeping arrangements. "He is a Season 1 fan favorite after all."
"I agree with that," Damien said as the footage moved on to the guitarist offering Sky his toast. "Although he did start to slip up around episode two after seeing Sky and Chase become friends," he continued over Sky picking Chase for her team and Trent looking shocked.
"Not wanting to lose his girlfriend and the game, Trent tried depending on luck, and when that didn't work, he opted to throw the challenges in order to let Sky win thanks to Justin's advice on making her happy," Priya said over Trent attempting to put nine flags on his team's sandcastle, and then purposely tripping over a stick and being talked to by Justin.
“Luckily, Sky was not blind to Trent's subtle attempts to lose deliberately,” Damien spoke as the footage showed Sky getting annoyed over Trent's compliments and him throwing the rope to the ground and then the two of them talking to each other after bathing in a barrel, “and after a much needed talk, the two were able to resolve their problems.”
"Despite all this, Justin was able to gather enough votes to target Trent, and in the end, Trent's time on the show was over!" Priya finished, the clips of Justin talking to the girls about Trent's actions and the guitarist walking into the limo being played.
"Our next guest took down a serial killer and once got poisoned by a blowfish,” Damien recapped. “Please welcome Trent!"
The Aftermath theme played and applause issued from the audience as Trent walked onstage with a smile and his guitar in hand.
“We're live on the TDA Aftermath with Trent, everyone!” Priya announced while Trent waved for the camera and sat down next to Izzy.
“So what happened, Trent?” Damien got the interview started.
“At the start of the season, things were going great until Sky and I were split on different teams,” Trent delved in. “Then she and Chase started hanging out.”
“Jealousy can be quite common,” Topher muttered.
“True,” Sam agreed.
“Then the competition set in,” Trent resumed.
“We know there's something else,” Damien reminded.
“You mean, how stressful things got?” Trent answered.
“Yeah, and no. It mostly applies to you,” Priya stated. “Be careful how you answer this, because a humongous hammer can come down and knock you out of that couch!”
The musician was intrigued by this news before continuing. “Uh, I guess somewhere I decided Sky was more important than the money,” Trent said, and the hammer not coming down proved his honesty.
“I'm surprised you're being really cool with losing out on a million dollars,” Priya said.
“It's Trent. What else did you expect?” Damien told his girlfriend.
“I guess I just lost my game,” Trent sighed. “Really let my team down. Sorry, Grips,” he apologized to the camera, making the audience aww.
“I have to ask you about the number nine thing. Check it out,” Damien pointed up at the television, which was in static before fading to the clips.
“That's right. Nine turrets, nine doors,” Trent instructed as Brick and Jasmine poured more sand.
“Remember, nine of everything!” Trent added in, much to his teammates’ bother.
Sky's attention was caught by the number of sticks he carried. "Not to interrupt," she started to say, "but you're carrying nine sticks."
The focus was now back on Trent. “Dudes, there's a lot more to my number than it being luck!” he protested.
“You did depend on it for challenges because you wanted to win,” Gwen brought up.
“The number nine thing has nothing to do with Sky or the competition,” Trent debunked. “I had this toy train my granddad gave me as a kid. Right before he died. One of the wheels fell off, so there were only nine. I was devastated. So my mom told me nine was now my lucky number.”
After Trent finished his story, the camera showed shots of the hosts, the other guests, and the Peanut Gallery all reacting with sadness.
“Have you ever told Sky about this?” Katie asked.
“She is still your girlfriend,” Sadie pointed out.
“I haven't had time to, but I'll make good on my word,” Trent promised, and the audience applauded for him.
“We've got a lot of emails here,” Priya checked the display. “Snowgirl writes, "Trent, what kind of girl are you not into?"”
“Simple. They'd either have to be stalkers or the kind of girls that'd do anything to humiliate people for no reason,” Trent claimed.
"How about we check in on our web cams?" Damien suggested, leaning over to check the display in front of him. "We've got Ginger from Sudbury," he said before the camera pulled out enough to show the monitor, which flashed from static to a feed of a geeky young white girl with large glasses and her red hair in pigtails. "Hey Ginger!" Damien greeted as the young girl waved.
"Trent, I'd love it if you went psycho crazy over me!" the girl squealed.
“Side note, you've been getting a lot of admirers ever since you got eliminated,” Damien told Trent.
"Uh, yeah," Trent said uneasily.
"Thanks, Ginger," Priya said as Ginger waved once more and her feed cut to static. "We also have Steve," she looked at her display, "the...Yeti? From Vancouver!"
The static on the monitor cut away to show none other than Sasquatchanakwa, or at least something that looked very much like it. "Uh, how's it going?" Priya asked awkwardly.
"Chris McLean," the yeti began to say in a deep and growling voice before it faded into something much more familiar, "is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?" He leaned towards the camera angrily, his long white teeth bared. "You stink!"
"Yo Chris," Chef's voice said from the yeti's end. "If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I-" The yeti smiled sheepishly. "Oh! You on the webcam?"
"Chris?" the two hosts asked in bewilderment as the audience roared in laughter.
Chef then got next to Chris. “Don't believe a word Izzy says,” he advised. “Girl's crazy.”
Priya and Damien looked at each other before the former spoke. "Now it's time for a segment that we like to call, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"
The crowd cheered as a short introduction was played with clips of various contestants getting hurt throughout the seasons scrolling across a sunburst pattern in a manner similar to part of the Gilded Chris ceremony introduction, albeit with a different theme tune.
Damien sighed happily as the shot cut back to him and Priya. "I do not miss getting humiliated."
"Here's what all of you didn't get to see on the show!" Priya looked back up as the television descended, and cut to the first in a series of clips set to a campy tune comprised primarily of a tuba, drums, and whistling.
The first clip showed Justin and Izzy walking backstage in their costumes during the acting challenge. Just then, a headlight fell and clubbed Justin on the head. "Looks like it's lights out for Justin," Damien said as the crowd laughed and a circle was drawn around the impact.
A bout of static heralded the second clip, in which Eva and Geoff were running through the beach set during the monster movie challenge. "This is a good one," Priya said as the monster stomped across the screen and left Eva and Geoff shaped holes on the ground, earning more laughter.
The third clip focused on Millie patting the sand castle for support until something bit her. She pulled her hand out and saw a crab pinched to her finger. "Ooh!" the hosts winced as a circle was drawn around the crab.
Next was a shot of Anne Maria twirling her lasso around. She threw it forward, but it got wrapped around her legs and pulled her down. "I don't even know what to draw for this," Priya laughed.
The next clip began to play. It consisted of nothing more than Mama Alien Chef walking forward with determination only to slip and fall on a pile of his own slime, his gun flying off-screen before a few shots rained back down on the fallen cook.
"Now that's gonna leave a mark," Damien said as Chef was circled and the scene cut back to the set. "With what's been happening," he said after a bit more laughing, "I am so glad I'm not competing."
“Do you guys think I could sing a song?” Trent asked Damien and Priya and held his guitar. “It's something I wrote after I left the show.”
“I'm not going to stop you,” Priya shrugged.
Trent strummed a beat to start his song, and the Peanut Gallery, Damien, Priya, Izzy, Geoff, and Eva listened attentively.
“We'll be separated for a couple of days,
And I know inside our heads our love stays.
I know I'll be okay, but I also know I'll be in a bad mood…
If I didn't show how much I love you…
And you love me too.”
When the song ended, the audience applauded and cheered heavily for Trent. “Sky, I want you to know that I'll be watching and rooting for you here,” he gave a shout out to his girlfriend, earning an 'Aww' from the audience.
"Now that is true love if I do say so myself," Priya gushed heavily with her arm on Damien's shoulder.
"Don't forget that ours is just as strong, if not more," Damien teased before he leaned in and kissed Priya, the audience oohing as the beginnings of a familiar tune began to play in the background.
“Could we get that hammer out here?” Izzy asked playfully and spoke to the camera. “I guess that's a wrap. Priya and Damien will see you next time!”
"You've got that right," Damien said as the kiss was broken and the Aftermath theme began to play.
"We've got a huge season coming up!" Priya added.
"And we'll be joining you again for another Aftermath!" Damien continued.
"Don't forget to follow Chris next time," Priya said with a smile, "for the next dramatically thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!" The audience cheered wildly, and another quick jingle played as the scene cut to the show's title card, the block letters gleaming one last time before fading to black.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed Izzy and Trent inside of the green room. Trent was in the middle of playing on his guitar and Izzy was helping herself to more food.
“So I gotta ask,” Trent said suddenly. “How come you didn't mind being called by your real name instead of “E-Scope”?”
Izzy stopped stuffing herself with crackers as soon as the question was asked. “Say what?”
“I'm talking about how the whole time you were competing, you'd act bratty because you weren't called by the name you wanted to be referred to as,” Trent pointed out.
“Well, I was repeatedly told that it was getting old and grating,” Izzy explained. “That kinda bummed me out cause I just wanted everyone to find it funny.”
“And they didn't,” Trent responded. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Izzy shrugged. “I'm not going to change my personality entirely, but the alter-egos should be taken down a notch. So about those secret admirers...”
“I don't even want to delve into those when I already have a loving girlfriend thank you very much,” Trent finished their conversation.
“Right,” Izzy nodded and returned back to her binge eating.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - 12th
Trent - 11th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky
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2024.05.13 13:48 xtremexavier15 TMA 6

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky
Episode 6: The Aftermath I: Trent's Descent
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode as a pair of purple concentric circles flew across and back in the screen towards the upper-left corner, a group of smaller, bluer circles flying through them in the same direction but at a higher speed. As it neared the top of the screen a large and blocky red 'T' flashed into existence and descended back down, and the background music continued into a theme fit for an evening talk show. A similarly-styled 'D' and 'A' appeared next as a few more purple or blue rings crossed the screen, then the three letters slid in from the left to spell out 'TDA'. The word 'AFTERMATH' popped up from the bottom of the screen, temporarily bumping up the first three letters before they slammed back down and centered the text in the middle of the screen.
A gleam swept across the text from upper-left to lower-right, and the 'D' briefly popped forwards with the faint sound of a camera, turning a little bit counterclockwise before reversing into its former position.
Clip 1
"Any final words?" Chris asked the eliminated contestants.
“Yeah. You guys actually voted me off. I respect that,” Eva nodded with a smirk.
“Good luck dudes. Wicked play,” Geoff smiled as he and Eva got off the bleachers and went to the red carpet.
The 'D' popped out briefly again and another bout of recap footage began.
Clip 2
"Here's the deal," Chef stated, pacing about slowly in front of the teen. "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize with me.” He leaned in closer towards Brick's face. “Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you," he finished with a deadly scowl, much to Brick's discomfort.
The 'D' popped out a third time, signaling the start of another set of recap footage.
Clip 3
“Trent, it's time to go!” Chris informed the eliminated contestant.
Trent got off the stands. “Before I do, can I at least say goodbye to Sky?”
“You could, but it'd be pointless since Chef will just carry you to the limo,” Chris smiled.
“Alright,” Trent sighed and faced his former teammates. “I'm really sorry about my actions, guys. I'll see you later.” With nothing left to say, he turned and walked down the red carpet.
A fourth time the 'D' popped out, and the last set of recap footage played.
Clip 4
"Izzy!" Izzy was left gaping. "Time to go!" Chris announced.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Izzy objected. “That's not my name.”
“Can I get a pen over here?” Chris raised his hand in annoyance. A pen was given to him, and he started to write on the paper. “It says "E-Scope" now, okay?!” This made Izzy finally stand up.
"And remember," Chris told her as she started to walk past the stage, "you can never come back, ev-er!" The host pressed an orange button next to his microphone, and two identical guards came over and grabbed Izzy by her arms.
(Theme Song)
The same sequence used to open the recap was replayed, an unseen audience cheering wildly after the 'TDA AFTERMATH' logo shined. The camera faded into a shot of a stage from the shadowed audience; it was set up like a talk show with one couch and table in the middle, and two tiers of couches on either side. A variety of lights both stage and decorative were scattered around, and to the left was a passage backstage half-hidden by dividing walls and the dark red curtains that framed the set.
And most importantly, sitting on that central couch, were two figures. Damien on the left and Priya on the right.
The camera zoomed in on them as the applause died down, a pair of computer displays visible on the table turned towards the hosts as Priya waved. "Hey there everyone!" she greeted with a smile. "Welcome to the brand-new Total Drama Action Aftermath Show!"
She paused as the audience cheered and applauded again, and once they'd died down, Damien spoke up. "We're coming to you live," he said, "to dish everything Total Drama Action!"
"This is where the real action is!" Priya said to another bout of cheering. "I'm Priya!" she added in with a smile.
"And I'm Damien!" Damien beamed.
"You may remember us from the hit series Total Drama Island," Priya continued.
"And it's thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action," Damien said, “even if we're not on it.”
"I hate that we missed out on the season and a chance to get the money,” Priya grumbled but regained her positivity, “but we have our own show, so I think it compensates."
"Being in the sequel could've given me the possibility of being rich, but when I'm with you, money doesn't matter," Damien smiled happily at Priya, and the crowd awwed.
"Aww, that's so sweet!” Priya gushed and turned to the audience. “And with no competitions here, we get to talk to all of you."
“So about that new season. Pretty cool, right?" Damien asked, looking out at the camera.
"Of course," Priya nodded. "They get to be on a film lot and do different kinds of movie challenges. How spectacular is that?" The crowd cheered in agreement.
"Super spectacular," a voice said from off-camera, the shot zooming out to show that the couches on the right had been occupied by the other non-competing contestants. On the top row were Rodney, Sam, and Gwen, while the bottom row had Topher, Katie, and Sadie.
“We were being rhetorical," Damien pointed out, "but hey, thanks for reminding everyone that you're not invisible! Topher, everyone!" The camera focused on the dirty blonde, who took stride in the applause from the audience.
"We also brought along all the others from the first season," Priya said.
"They may be considered losers," Damien said, "but not to us."
“Aww,” Katie gushed.
“That is so sweet, you guys,” Sadie added.
"The pleasure's all ours," Damien replied. "Give it up for Topher!" he said, and the crowd cheered as the camera cut back to the fanboy. He shot a wink as the screen was split and a clip played of him smacking a fly onto his eye and getting it swollen.
"And Rodney!" Priya added, the camera cutting to the country boy waving at the camera. The screen also split to play a clip of him, showing him returning back to the game on boat.
"Katie and Sadie!" Damien introduced the two girls.
“Oh my gosh!” Katie cheered.
“We are so super excited to be here!” Sadie expressed her happiness.
"Next we have Sam!" Priya said as the camera moved to the gamer smiling at the camera as a clip played in the split screen showing him hanging from a tree by his knees before falling down.
"And how about a shout out to Gwen!" Damien said. Gwen smiled at the camera while the split screen showed a clip of the goth eating blueberries from a bush.
The camera cut over to Topher, who was engrossed in a phone call. "How long are the papers going to take?" he asked before noticing the audience. "Sorry mom, but I'll have to call you back later!"
Priya and Damien shared a glance before Damien smiled at the camera. "We've also got a lot of texts and emails from all of you!" he said excitedly.
"Plus," Priya said, "we'll have a couple of you on webcam!"
"Eva and Geoff will be here," Damien announced, and the crowd went wild.
"And let's not forget our favorite nutcase, Izzy!" Priya added with a smile, earning another roaring cheer from the crowd.
"Plus the guy with the soul of music, Trent!" Damien finished to another round of applause.
"You know what's strange? The four that you two mentioned were part of the final six in Island along with Scott and you, Priya," Topher said.
"That is pretty shocking," Priya added. "Eva and Geoff especially."
"Eva could have won the season again, but I guess no one wants a repeat," Sam laughed a bit.
"We've got a lot to talk about," Damien told the audience. "It's almost time to welcome our first guests," he announced, "but first, take a look at this!" The nervous wreck looked up to the wide and flat television hanging above the central couch.
The television's static cut to a clip of Geoff and Eva running together to escape the monster. "Geoff and Eva's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said.
"But it sure was packed with the action that we grew to love," Priya continued as Eva and Geoff stuck their heads out from behind a cardboard cutout of a small red car.
"Eva managed to recover from her broken ankle from last season," Damien continued as the muscle woman was shown running through the sidewalk.
"And Geoff proved that losing a tooth doesn't mean losing your positivity," Priya said as footage of Geoff showing off his golden tooth replacement was shown.
"And they both did well for themselves, even if they didn't win the second challenge!" Damien followed up as clips of Geoff and Eva being shown on the ground along with being shot with paintballs courtesy of Chef played.
"But unfortunately, they weren't able to play for another day!" Priya continued.
"I don't even blame the contestants since Eva and Geoff were last season's Final Two," Damien spoke as a clip played of the two going into the limousine. "At least they still have their friendship!"
"One has eaten dog food," Priya said, "and the other has taken control of a forest fire. Our first two guests are Geoff and Eva!"
The Aftermath theme tune played and the crowd went wild as Eva and Geoff pushed open the backstage doors and walked out, smiling at both the audience and the hosts as they took their seats on the lower couch on the left.
"Hey guys!" Priya greeted with a smile as Damien waved.
"Damien! Priya! Glad to see you two again!" Eva said happily.
"Yeah!" Geoff added. "You two getting the hosting gig is impressive!"
"Great to have you guys!" Damien told them. "Sorry you two got eliminated first."
"No need to apologize," Geoff said. "We didn't leave completely empty-handed!"
"Wait, how so?" Damien asked in confusion. "You didn't win the money."
"Not like that," Eva answered. "Geoff managed to take pictures of everybody and everything from the first two seasons to put onto his scrapbook."
"And Eva managed to use part of her money to get construction to build her dream gym," Geoff added. "It's still in construction by the way."
“So how did you two manage to become the Aftermath hosts?” Eva asked them.
"The producers took note of me and Damien's relationship and decided on us being the hosts," Priya answered. "I couldn't pass up this opportunity."
"And plus, the other non-competitors either refused or were turned down," Damien added.
“They especially turned me down,” Topher grumbled. “I would've made a great host.”
"That's pretty understandable," Eva said. "I sure as heck don't want to run my mouth longer than I need to."
"Yeah, hosting a show is something I won't be able to perform well in," Geoff added.
"Moving on," Damien said, "how does it feel being the first two voted off the show?"
"Honestly, I gotta say it was kinda like a punch to the gut," Eva admitted. "I know I'm strong, but I didn't think the contestants would team up to vote us out in just the first episodes."
"I didn't mind as much," Geoff interjected. "I mean, I did want to win the million dollars, but given how we competed in every episode of the first season, it seems fair for us to go home early this time around and give the others a shot. And besides, money isn't everything."
"Thanks for your inputs," Priya said as the camera cut over to her and Damien, "I think it's time for a game called 'Truth or Hammer'!" The crowd started to go wild.
A grand tune played as a shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown. The camera slowly pulled back from it, and as the music ended a large wooden mallet swung down from the left and smashed it to pieces.
Damien stood up as the scene cut back to the hosts and guests. "Here's how this works: we ask you a question, and if you give the wrong answer, a huge hammer will swing down on you."
"Uh, what?" Geoff said as he and Eva looked at each other nervously.
"Eva, Geoff, move out of the way as we do a test run!" Priya announced, and a giant wooden hammer immediately swung down at Eva and Geoff, the two barely avoiding the hit.
"Looks like the hammer is working well. How about we get to the questions?" Damien turned his head to the reality TV fan.
"Absolutely," Priya agreed. "So Eva, after winning last season, why do you think things didn't go well for you this time?"
"Like we both said, we were big time threats. If we didn't get voted off in the second episode, one of us likely would've been in the final two again," Eva answered and looked above her, the hammer still remaining in its position.
"I'm a strategic player, and if I wasn't the first season's winner, I obviously would've voted out the strongest player just so I could get closer to winning," Eva continued.
"Good answer!" Damien said. "So Geoff, are you even remotely mad at not winning the first season and getting kicked off in the second?"
Geoff looked up. "I'm not going to lie at all, especially when there's a hammer that can crush me," the party guy said. "I'm kind of upset."
Everyone was silent for a moment before it became clear the hammer wasn't going to swing down. "I mean... it's like you got dreams for this money and to see them flushed down the drain is disappointing," Geoff explained. "But it is what it is. I had a good time competing, and I got news from one of my brothers that my golden tooth can be sold for money, so at least I got some compensation."
"I'd suggest cleaning the tooth before you sell it," Damien advised before looking at the camera and smiling. "So how about we hear from one of the viewers!"
"Let's see," Priya said, looking down at the computer display on the table in front of her. "CunningLinguist316 asks: Who are you rooting for now that you've been eliminated?"
"Well, I'm rooting for Sky," Eva answered. "I can see some parts of myself in her, and she's one of the more worthy players in the game."
"I'm hoping my man Chase wins," Geoff answered. "He's super athletic and fast, and we're sorta like each other in many ways."
"Good to hear your thoughts," Damien told them.
"Exactly!" Priya added. "But I think it's time we bring out our next guest."
The camera panned up to the wide-screen television as footage of the wild child began to play. "Izzy's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said over a clip of Izzy pushing Ripper out of the way and getting captured by the animatronic monster.
"But it was a thrill ride," Priya added.
“Seriously, Izzy can make a bowl of paste tasty by adding herself to it,” Damien quipped over Izzy getting dropped into the bouncy castle.
"Later on, she suffered a serious blow at the hands of Chef," Priya added over the footage of Izzy falling onto the ground after getting shot in the chest with a paintball and Chef looking over her in worry.
“Chef thinks he's killed her. Look how scared he is!” Damien chimed in as the recap footage paused on Chef; a red circle was drawn around Chef's face.
“Never thought he'd have a sense of humanity. Check this part out! Super hilarious!” Priya giggled over Izzy standing up and laughing about her fake death. “Unfortunately, it was Justin that ruined Izzy's chances when the two took to the stage.” The clips of Justin performing his role and Izzy grumbling over her loss played.
"Dramatic and devious, Izzy will be back for more," Damien continued as the footage showed Izzy getting up from her seat and blowing kisses as the limousine took her away.
The scene returned to the hosts. "Our first guest has impersonated a grizzly and was caught peeing in a pool. Currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted... Izzy, A.K.A Kaleidoscope!!"
The crowd went wild as the Aftermath theme played, but it suddenly stopped as the hosts looked up at the television. It was now showing footage of a room backstage where Izzy was currently sitting on a couch and eating crackers. The crazy girl had a snack tray-laden table in front of her, and to the left was a television showing the same feed as the one on-stage.
Izzy took notice of the television set. "I'm on TV!" she exclaimed before accidentally spitting out her chewed-up crackers, making the audience laugh quietly. “Oh, oops. Cracker crumbs, you get back here!” She grabbed the crumbs, along with a few grapes and a cracker sandwich with cheese in the middle, and put them all in her cleavage, prompting more laughter.
Izzy stood up and walked out to the stage, the Aftermath theme playing again as she opened the backstage doors and walked out. The audience cheered, and Damien and Priya, along with Eva and Geoff - who were now on the top row of the couches - waved at her, causing her to return the gesture.
“Hello E-Scope!” Priya eagerly greeted her friend.
"Hi, Priya. Hi, Damien," Izzy greeted back as she sat on the couch. "So glad to be here."
“Awesome to have you, but it must be hard losing out on a million bucks,” Damien talked to her.
“Yeah, well... you would know,” Izzy responded, unamusing Damien and Priya while the audience gasped. “Hi, you guys!” she focused on the Peanut Gallery.”
“Hi, Izzy!” Rodney waved.
“Hi, everyone out there in TV land!” Izzy turned to the camera and noticed someone in the audience. “Graham Cracker! That's my old boyfriend Graham! He got a restraining order against me last year. Remember that, Graham?” The audience started mumbling. “So funny. Okay. We were in the courtroom and the judge was all like, "You cannot come within two hundred meters of the plaintiff or you shall suffer the consequences of this courtroom."
After taking a moment to laugh, Izzy continued her story. “The long distance was hard, but we made it work. By the way, Graham, you should get new blinds for your room. What are they made of, lead? I couldn't see a thing with my binoculars! Miss you, Graham Cracker!” She took a cracker out of her cleavage. “I am totally into crackers right now. They're just so flaky!” She giggled and put the cracker into her mouth.
“Kind of like someone we already know,” Damien muttered quietly.
“So Izzy, how did it feel to be the third one voted off the show?” Priya asked.
“My life is an open book. Well, not yet, but it will be once I write it. And you open the book!” Izzy guffawed.
“What was going through your head after being voted off?” Damien questioned.
The music turned sad. “When you realize you're not getting a Gilded Chris Award, well, I can't lie to you,” Izzy sniffed in a rare moment of sadness.
“Oh, it was that painful?” Priya expressed her sympathy.
“No, I just can't lie to you,” Izzy returned to her normal state. “I was outfitted with a lie deterrent microchip that sends shock waves at the first hint of dishonesty. Those are really nice pants, Damien.”
Izzy then got shocked in her neck, demonstrating the microchip inside the body part, but the wild child laughed it off.
“Carrying on,” Damien said uncomfortably. “So what exactly did losing out on the Gilded Chris mean to you?”
“It means I missed out on that buttery chocolate statuette. Ooh, I once took an art class sculpting chocolate nudes, my instructor said I had a real flair for cocoa,” Izzy brought up and earned another electrocution. “Okay, okay, okay. He said I was totally loco. That's what he's actually said.”
"Let's see if you can be honest while answering our questions,” Priya said sneakily, “and the giant hammer will come down if you don't tell the truth!"
“If my implant doesn't get me, the hammer will!” Izzy said, earning laughs from the audience.
Priya and Damien shared a look of bewilderment before facing the camera happily. “Want to know which questions we'll be asking Izzy?" Priya asked the camera.
"Be sure to stay tuned," Damien said. "Right now, we have to take a quick break! We'll be right back!"
The show's logo was shown again, and the 'D' popped out and transitioned the scene to a close-up of a plate of brown mush sitting on a tan-and-goldenrod striped table. Flies were buzzing around it, and part of a familiar torso could be seen standing behind it.
"This episode of the TDA Aftershow," Chef Hatchet said to a catchy elevator music-like jingle as one of the flies buzzing around died and the camera began to zoom out, "was brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are Bring Your Own Meat!" The camera stopped moving to show the hulking man in full, standing between the table with the plate of mush and a large stone fireplace in the background. In his left hand he held a skewer of a reddish and steaming hunk of meat resting on a plate-like guard piece. The tail of a skunk extended from the top of the meat hunk.
"You hit it, we spit it," Chef said with a motion to the steaming dish in his hand.
(Commercial Break)
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2024.05.13 06:01 Dolly_Do0 Woman Called me a Sl*t for selling girl scout cookies

Ok so this happened a while ago, but I think it's funny now because of how obnoxious this woman was.
So this takes place when I was 8, yes, 8 years old. I've been a girl scout for a while so I've been used to selling cookies. The thing is, you have to order the cookies before you are finished selling them, so you order the pre bought cookies and then a few extras to sell when they arrive, like at cookie booths. That year, we got little too much boxes and needed to go door to door selling.
I should mention I was a tallish child, somewhere around 5 ft. And that was not the only time I was mistaken for a teenager while I was under the age of 10. But anyways I, my mom, and my little brother, who was 2, loaded up a little red wagon with some cookies, and started selling. Now I lived in a small town, so a lot of people know each other or at least reasonably friendly. I should note because people might be a little mean that I was wearing a girl scout vest, probably tight pigtails with my thin hair that made my forehead look massive but besides the point, and some pink shirt and neon yellow jeans. True fashionista right there. Now since I was 8 I don't remember much of the story so this part is mixed from what my mom heard and my memory.
We've been selling cookies for like over an hour, and we're tired, but I'm used to this and I'm trooping along. I've got my sales speech I know the cookies and prices I was on it. So we get to this house and it had some tall bushes outlining it, very important to remember. Now I go up and ring the bell, and my brother was next to the bushes sitting in the wagon, but within view of the front door. This woman answers and she was visibly annoyed. Now I was not great on social cues so I smiled and do the whole "Do you want to buy some cookies thing." Even I remember this absolute NASTY look on her face. Idk what happened to her but yeah. She then notices my brother who is sitting in the wagon. Then this woman, and I'm paraphrasing here because I don't remember exactly, called me a slut and how nasty I was for parading my son around and how teenage girls should just close their legs. I was just standing there awkwardly because 1. I was too young to understand what she meant thank goodness, and 2. Surprised and a little scared that this random woman yelled at me. She probably yelled a few more things but I was too confused to remember and my mom was so upset she couldnt hear what she was saying. I think my mom knew I didn't know what that woman called me because she didn't start yelling at her, but her face was very red. So this woman slams the door because I didn't respond, and I just go back to my mom and was like, "that was weird and she was mean." I don't remember what happened after but my mom definitely kept her cool and we pretty much finished for the day after that. I mean I sold a lot of cookies that day so yay?
For those wondering what I was thinking she meant, here you go because I remember this purely from how confused I was. First of with the closed leg thing I always stand weird from some leg issues I had so I didn't think much of that but here's the funny part. I thought this woman called me a slug. Yes, like the slimy little thing that doesn't like salt. I didn't know what a slut was and if that was even a word at the time so I thought this woman did one of those mild insults like I hope both sides of your pillow is warm kind of thing. You'd be surprised on what people say or try to pull on girl scouts, so support your local girl scouts because they've dealt with pretty much unpaid customer service yay.
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2024.05.13 05:07 PrueGretel RHONJ S14 E2

The Icing on the Brain Cake
We start off with Danielle and Nate taking their daughter for a photo shoot. Danielle wants her daughter to be a star! Wow! Who would have thought? Maybe she can be a manager and make her daughter the next Kim K or Paris. Would everyone just love that? Seriously, I never liked any of the HW's pushing for their children to act or model. It's just not interesting to me. Anyway, Danielle mentions that back in 2017, Nate had a cyst on his brain and had brain surgery! God bless him. I’m glad he is doing well. Danielle also mentioned that she still isn't talking to her brother, and she doesn't talk to her dad, that is sad. Her dad sees her children and Nate, so there's that. Hopefully she can mend her relationship with her brother and her father.
Dolores is relaxing in her new home, well it's Paul's home. What do we think of Paul? I am leery of him. They make some small talk then they rip apart John Fuda. They are all going to the Jersey Shore soon, so they have to interact with the Italian guy, John Fuda. Okay, whatever. Paul is Irish, most of the cast is Italian. Why bring up that Fuda's Italian? Oh right, he said he didn't know Italian guys get so offended (they argued last episode). No Paul, it's just none of your business what Fuda and Louie are arguing about. John was annoyed that you butt in, it has nothing to do with being Italian. Paul is a Jerk.
At Teresa's house, there is creepy Louie trying to act normal and nice. I don't think he is. Teresa's really plumped up the lips. Geez! They are getting ready to celebrate Louie's dad being sober for eight years. Congrats to him! Then Teresa starts crying because Gabriella is leaving for college any day now. So, what do they do? Talk about Marge. That cheers her up. They are going to bring her down, big time. They are going to expose that Marge is a big fat liar. The whole world is going to find out what a liar she is! Yawn! Tell us all of Marge's lies now. Why announce this?
Teresa looks crazy in her talking head, sorry not sorry. Her hair is up and all over the place and her lips are huge. Let's just say this was not her best talking head look. Her face is all lips. They're spreading all over her face! Maybe she thinks instead of growing hair, she thinks people grow their lips. Her lips are bigger than her forehead!
Melissa and Joey have Antonia's 18th birthday party dinner with Melissa side of her family and some friends. There is a friend there named Nick who is engaged to a man named Mike. Melissa cries to Nick for treating them like family by asking Joey to officiate the wedding. And she sobs. This is an act and a dig at Teresa. She can't stop crying. Girl, stop. Be happy your children are all healthy, seem very well behaved and are thriving in this world. Joey tells her Melissa's family was always nice to him and treated him like family! Ugh! Can these two ever have a celebration without giving a dig about Teresa? We get it, you hate her. Stop reminding us. We know, we know!
Teresa has a small scene with Gia. She graduated with a Criminal Justice degree. She was working for Immigration Law, now she is doing Corporate Law. She is trying to figure out what type of Law she will pursue. They discuss Gabriella leaving for college. Teresa is a proud mom...
Oh, that reminds me. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, hope you all enjoyed your day.
Each break is an Ozempic commercials. Coincidence? I think not.
Marge, Rachel and Melissa are playing pickleball. Afterwards they sit down and talk. Rachel tells them that in 1995 when she was a child, she fell off of monkey bars and broke her leg. Her leg was in a cast. When they took the cast off her leg was swollen 4X than the other leg. She was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and has had obstacles to overcome since. She had hip surgery at 18, but the good news is that she has been able to live a normal life. I wish the best for her. She said she was having a flare up and is a mess. Rachel told Marge that her husband John was arrested for selling pot when he was seventeen. That's it. That’s the big drug story that Teresa is spreading? He is this big drug dealer? Yeah, no. More lies from Teresa. I'm glad Rachel cleared it up. If I was Rachel, I would be so annoyed that the Ex-con Teresa is spreading that her husband is an Ex-con too.
Down at the Shore, we have sides. Teresa, Jen A, Dolores and their family members. On the other side, we have Melissa, Marge, Adult Jen F, Danielle and Rachel with their families. Well, a few family members. Jen A's daughter and Melissa's mother were there. Where's Frank?
They attend Nate's celebration of life together. Everyone is doing fine ignoring their enemies. But then, Teresa confronts Adult Jennifer about having a get together before last year's reunion. Big mouth, Frank told Louie this. What doesn't Teresa get? Louie was unhinged, of course Marge, Melissa, Rachel, Jackie and their spouses got together to figure out how to handle the situation. They needed to discuss what might happen at the reunion and how to handle Louie. He hired an investigator on them all. Jennifer tries to explain this is the kindest way. Then Adult Jen F brings up Marge! Oh no! Marge asked her not to mention her at all to Teresa. Jen asked if Louie called and threatened Marge's son last year. Teresa is adamant and denies it. This was also from last year's reunion; we saw the papers where the phone calls came from. Louie. It was Louie! Teresa is lying, again.
Last Rachel is annoyed with Jen F for being all buddy, buddy with Teresa now. We see Jen F laughing and having a good time with Teresa. Rachel is annoyed because supposedly Jen F was her ride or die. I didn’t think Jen and Rachel were that close, but Jen was bad mouthing Teresa to Rachel. I’m guessing Adult Jen F is not loyal and wants the whole cast to like her. This is Jersey. It doesn’t work that way.
All in all, the episode was lighthearted. They seemed to all have fun at the Shore. There was no screaming. And we got a glimpse of Danielle and Rachel's past. Oh, and Louie's face wasn't red the whole episode. Maybe he is creepy and mean when his face turns red. He was nice and normal with his un-red face. Makes you wonder what that is all about. Will Louie's face be red again and turn creepy and mean? We shall see.
Next week, Marge is annoyed with Jen F. for being A-Okay with Teresa now. Jackie is sticking up for Jen F and Marge is annoyed. Okay, this is what starts the demise of Jackie and Marge's friendship.
To Be Continued...
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2024.05.13 04:31 akat0405 Got a blowout for the first time a few hours ago and paid extra for a smoothing treatment; advice on how to handle?

Got a blowout for the first time a few hours ago and paid extra for a smoothing treatment; advice on how to handle?
Hi there, looking for some advice from anyone who’s had or who regularly gets blowouts done by a professional.
Got a professional blowout for the first time this afternoon and paid extra for a smoothing treatment spray that’s supposed to last for up to 3 washes. Stylist was raving about the product and explained it worked best if you don’t add any other products the day you use it so nothing interferes with it. She sprayed 4 sprays in total. This seemed a little strange in the moment that 4 sprays would be enough for a treatment lasting 3 washes, but I didn’t know so didn’t say anything.
Now for a bit of background, I have naturally wavy hair and so have to use some products or else the Midwest humidity turns me into a puffball. When I heat style my hair at home I use a leave-in conditioneheat protectant on mids and ends, tiny bit of blow dry prep spray at the roots to speed up drying, and a small amount of blow dry cream. Then I rough dry a section to 85-90% with a paddle brush then switch to a round brush to polish it off and add a bit of bend. It’s never hair commercial perfect, but it’s smooth with some volume and movement, and will stay that way 4 days or so with only a tiny bit of frizz, unless I get rained on.
The blowout today looked nice when the stylist finished. Now it was just starting to sprinkle when I left, but I’d parked two spots away from the front door so was hardly in it. I went straight home and it was not raining when I arrived.
These pics are from 3.5 hours after the start of my appointment. I haven’t been outside (except to/from the car), haven’t been in a steamy bathroom, haven’t been washing dishes, leaning over a pot of boiling water, haven’t brushed it, nothing. I’m so disappointed.
I looked up the smoothing product I paid extra for and the directions say to “work in clean sections and spray generously from roots to ends”. The model in the how-to video used 4 sprays in a single section. So now I’m thinking the stylist today used waaaay too little product?
Would I be overreacting to complain to the salon? Are blowouts not suited to wavy hair?i don’t know proper blow dry bar etiquette so please help a socially anxious girl out! In retrospect I probably should’ve spoken up when I was concerned about 4 spritzes total and nothing else because I know my hair needs a little something. But then again, she said you’re not supposed to use anything else when using that product and I didn’t research proper useage till afterward.
I don’t know. I’m just feeling really bummed right now because I was having a great hair day before I went to the salon and paid $70 plus tip to look worse than when I air dry without my usual heatless routine. I’m off to wash and restyle my hair so I don’t look a mess for work tomorrow :(
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2024.05.13 03:44 Light_Noob_420 Why are there so many tall (women) everywhere I go in my neighborhood...

Warning: Extremely long rant. And yes, i know im crazy for even counting and paying attention to random women at my work, but if yall could see what I actually saw, yall would be too...
Vent number idontknowanymore, basically the following parts of my previous vents. Im fully convinced people in my neighborhood either have some secret tall Scandinavian ancestry,... Or it was advertised for young tall people to move,... Or god knows my height insecurity being around tall (especially women) and wants to fck with me... Either way, I have to move out of here... (Still a college student with a part time job)
Even friends a while back who came to visit me, we were walking in the streets around my nhood and they pointed out "people here are damn tall"...
I wish I could put like a go pro or camera on my head or something, and film what I see, like to see if im that delusional, so I know that i aint just seeing things... Or thats its just "confirmation bias" like many people would suggest. If cope heights stats are true to real life application, then I should be 5'4 or something,... and I have measured multiple times over the past years and still 5'7, (and yes, i feel bad for u guys who are actually even shorter than me, yall should have a fcking medal for even wanting to put up with this shit), and everyone thinks im 5'9 and i claim that height bcuz of that, when im NOT 5'9, so i know that im not like some of the guys here who "thought" they were 5'7 and turn out to be 5'3-5'4 (and i dont understand how did u mismeasure by that much...)
Anyways, already first hour of my work shift, I was at the cash register for a while, Had 16 female (young and white) customers came up to pay, There was a reflection to my right so I could clearly see if they were taller or shorter... 10 were taller or equal (2 much taller than 5'10, the rest were 5'7-5'10). Then I went back to work in the commercial aisles. In 1 aisle, a group of 2 5'8-5'9 women sere there then another group of 3 women where 2 were 5'8-5'10 came right in. I fcked off to another aisle... There 3 men and 3 women, the men were so tall, they literally nearly touched the advertising board attached to the ceiling (they were at leats 6'4, and the women were taller than me, enough that I had to slighlty look up when they came to ask me for help (they were all 5'10-5'11). Then I had to show them what they were asking by going to another aisle, where I walked by 3/4 young women who were also 5'7-5'9... (Oh, there was a 5'6 50 year old latino man there too, but it was still fcking brutal)... After that, I see 2 young adult women who are around 5'4-5'5,... But then a few seconds after, 3 different 5'7-5'9 women walk by... Then, a while after, I went back to the cash register, excluding older and/or male, there were 19 another female customers, 11 were 5'7+... That was my 1st hour... Then I went to the back store for the most part, but there were already less customers after that anyways, but trust me, more than 1/2 times, the young female customer was taller than 5'7...
Oh, did I forget? This was my first time at my work shift where I did NOT meet a single male customer That did NOT look Old and who was shorter than me... And no joke, more than half the "couples I saw", not only the men were taller than the women, but the women were also 5'7+..., I legit felt like a fcking woman, its actually embarassing.
And most of the women, were wearing flats, short running shoes, vans or even sandals, the only ones wearing boots/heels or any tall height shoes where they could fit insoles were girls already much shorter than me even with them.
And lets not forget how tall my female coworkers are (esp the under 40)
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2024.05.13 02:15 nomorelandfills No, You Beg - 2021 article from The Cut about the difficulty in adopting in the COVID era

No, You Beg - 2021 article from The Cut about the difficulty in adopting in the COVID era
Another copied article to keep in reserve. It's an odd article from the pandemic, recounting the boom in rescue adoptions. It is a fairly pointless article in that it uses some really shifty rescuers, including Pixies and Paws, as sources, brightly highlights a bioethicist who uses her own foolish adoption of two pit bull mixes as evidence that most people shouldn't own dogs, and chronicles but fails to understand the loathing rescuers have for adopters. It does, however, wonderfully illustrate how rapidly the good times ended in rescue. Anyone reading the the current "we've never been so overwhelmed with dogs" rescue laments should know that there's a link between today's problems and yesterday's reckless opportunism.
The "bioethicist"
“I think it’s probably true that the majority of people who want to adopt a dog should not,” Jessica Pierce, a bioethicist who studies human-animal relationships, tells me. “They don’t have the wherewithal and don’t have what they need to give the animal a good life.” She herself ended up with two pets that didn’t get along at all — a herding mix and a pointer mix whose constant fighting made the idea of hosting a dinner party both perhaps “bloody” and definitely “scary and miserable.” She says shelters shouldn’t “drive away potentially loving and appropriate adopters because they don’t meet predetermined criteria,” but she also sees the importance of a thorough application process that prepares humans for the pitfalls of pet parenthood. “You need to be ready to have a dog who doesn’t like people very much,” says Pierce. When Bella, the 11-year-old she got from the Humane Society, dies, she’s not sure she will get a replacement, noting that the pandemic puppy boom is “driven by a reflection of human narcissism and neurosis.”
However, this is a fantastic truth long overdue for the telling.
“I started to talk to shelter leaders across the country,” Cushing says. “And one by one, they said any adoptable dog without a medical issue is gone by noon on Saturday. But the public didn’t know that. Only the dog seekers and the experts did.”
https://preview.redd.it/v2owlquz230d1.png?width=1139&format=png&auto=webp&s=a95a7983b4f018f043125a0819a16941cec1e6aa
Jack, adopted by Tori and Paris through In Our Hands Rescue.
It was a rainy Sunday in June, and Danielle had fallen in love.
The 23-year-old paralegal spent the first part of her afternoon in McCarren Park, envying the happy dog owners with their furry companions. Then she stumbled upon an adoption event in a North Brooklyn beer garden, where a beagle mix being paraded out of the rescue van reminded her of the dog she grew up with, Snickers. It all felt like fate, so she filled out an application on the spot. She was then joined by her best friend and roommate, Alexa, in sitting across from a serious-looking young woman with a ponytail who was searching for a reason to break her heart.
Danielle and Alexa were confident they would be leaving with Millie that day: After all, they had a 1,000-square-foot apartment within blocks of McCarren and full-time employment with the ability to work from home for the foreseeable future. But the volunteer kept posing questions that they hadn’t prepared for. What if they stopped living together? What if Danielle’s girlfriend’s collie mix didn’t get along with her new family member? What would be the solution if the dog needed expensive training for behavioral issues? Which vet were they planning to use?
All of which, upon reflection, were reasonable questions. But when it came to the diet they planned for the dog, they realized they were out of their depth. Danielle recalled that Snickers had lived to 16 and a half on a diet of Blue Buffalo Wilderness, the most expensive stuff that was available at her parents’ Bay Area pet store. “Would you want to live on the best version of Lean Cuisine for the rest of your life?” sniffed the volunteer with a frown. She would instead recommend a small-batch, raw-food brand that cost, when they looked it up later, up to $240 a bag. “If you were approved, you’d need to get the necessary supplies and take time off from work starting now,” the dog gatekeeper said. “And the first 120 days would be considered a trial period, meaning we would reserve the right to take your dog back at any time.” The would-be adopters nodded solemnly.
The friends rose from the bench and thanked the volunteer for her time. Believing they were out of earshot, the volunteer summed up the interview to a colleague: “You just walked by, and you’re fixated on this one dog, and it’s because you had a beagle growing up, but you want to make your roommate the legal adopter?”
When Danielle and Alexa were young, one could still show up at a shelter, pick out an unhoused dog that just wanted to have someone to love, and take it home that same day. Today, much of the process has moved online — to Petfinder, a.k.a. Tinder for dogs, and various animal-shelter Instagram accounts that send cute puppy pics with heartrending stories of need into your feed and compel you to fill out an adoption application as you sit on the toilet. Posts describing the dogs drip with euphemisms: A dog that might freak out and tear your house up if left alone is a “Velcro dog”; one that might knock down your children is “overly exuberant”; a skittish, neglected dog with trust issues is just a “shy party girl.” Certain shelters have become influencers in their own right, like the L.A.-based Labelle Foundation, which has almost 250,000 Instagram followers and counts Dua Lipa and Cara Delevingne among its A-list clients. Rescue agencies abound, many with missions so specific that you could theoretically find one that deals in any niche breed you desire, from affenpinschers to Yorkshire terriers.
This deluge of rescue-puppy content has arrived, not coincidentally, during a time of growing awareness of puppy mills as so morally indefensible that even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez could draw fire for seemingly buying a purebred French bulldog in early 2020. Then came the pandemic puppy boom, a lonely, claustrophobic year in which thousands of white-collar workers, sitting at home scrolling through their phones, seemed simultaneously to decide they were finally ready to adopt a dog. The corresponding demand spike in certain markets has simply overwhelmed the agencies: New York shelters that were used to receiving 20 applications a week were now receiving hundreds, with as many as 50 people vying for a single pup.
The rescue dog is now, indisputably, a luxury good, without a market pricing system at work to manage demand. A better analogy might be an Ivy League admissions office. But even Harvard isn’t forced to be as picky as, say, Korean K9 Rescue, whose average monthly applications tripled in 2020.
And yet someone has to pick the winners — often an unpaid millennial Miss Hannigan doling out a precious number of wet-nosed Orphan Annies to wannabe Daddy Warbuckses and thus empowered to judge the intentions and poop-scooping abilities of otherwise accomplished urban professionals, some of whom actually did go to Harvard.
This has led to some hard feelings. Every once in a while, someone will complain on Twitter about being rejected by a rescue agency, and it will reliably set off a cascade of attacks on “entitled rich white millennials assuming they can have whatever they want,” followed by counter-attacks on those who “appoint themselves the holy sainted guardian of all animals.” Danielle was ultimately deemed unworthy, not even receiving a generic rejection letter over email. After all, there isn’t really that much incentive for the rescue agencies to be polite these days.
The modern animal-rescue movement grew alongside the child-welfare movement in the mid-19th century. It got another boost in the years following World War II, when Americans were moving out to the suburbs in droves, according to Stephen Zawistowski, a professor of animal behavior at Hunter College. Suddenly, there were highways, yards, and space. Walt Disney was making movies about children and dogs that promoted the idea that no new home was complete without a loyal animal companion. (Zawistowski said that one might call this the Old Yeller Effect, but there were various riffs on the same theme over the ensuing decades. Essentially, Flipper was “Let’s put Lassie in the water.”)
In the early ’80s, University of Pennsylvania researchers confirmed the effects that animal companionship has on everything from blood pressure to heart conditions to anxiety. Pets were no longer just how you taught Junior to be responsible; they might be critical to maintaining adults’ physical and mental health. The way people spoke about animals started changing. The idea that “homeless” dogs were sent to the “pound” because they were “bad” went out of fashion. “Suddenly, you had ‘rescue’ dogs brightly lit in the mall,” says Ed Sayres, a former president of the ASPCA who now works as a pet-industry consultant. “Basically, we gave animals a promotion.” Meanwhile, in the late ’80s, spay and neuter procedures had been streamlined and were being recommended by vets as well as by Bob Barker on The Price Is Right.
Then came The Ad. Released in 2007, it featured close-ups of three-legged dogs and one-eyed cats rescued by the ASPCA over a wrenching rendition of Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.” The commercial warned that “for hundreds of others, help came too late.” In just a year, the ad raised 60 percent of the ASPCA’s annual $50 million budget. The organization was reportedly able to increase the grant money it gave to other animal-welfare organizations by 900 percent in ten years. It is difficult to overstate the emotional hangover The Ad inflicted on millennials and members of Gen Z. Janet M. Davis is a historian at the University of Texas at Austin, where she lectures on animal rights to a demographically diverse body of students — everyone from cattle ranchers to vegan punks — most of whom cry when she shows The Ad in class. “It absolutely brings down the house,” she says. “Every time.”
Theoretically, the point of dog adoption is that there are more dogs born into the world than there are humans lined up to care for them. But as interest grew, the supply problem became less acute. Thanks to widespread spay and neuter policies, there are simply too few unwanted litters for what the adoption market wants.
National chains like PetSmart partnered with local shelters to supply its animals for sale. Savvy rescues in dog deserts like New York hooked up with shelters in the Deep South, where cultural attitudes toward spaying and neutering pets are much more lax. While there is no official registry of how many shelter dogs are available in the U.S., in 2017, researchers at the College of Veterinary Medicine for Mississippi State University published a study reporting that the availability of dogs in animal shelters was at an all-time low. “That is,” says Sayres, “an environment that leads to a kind of irrational, competitive behavior.” The rescue mutt had become not just a virtue signal but a virtue test. Who was a good enough human being to deserve a dog in need of rescuing?
Heather remembers the old easy days. “I went on Craigslist and an hour later, I had a puggle,” she says of her first dog-getting experience with her boyfriend in college. George the puggle humped everything in sight, shed everywhere, and chewed through furniture until the end of his life, but she loved him all the same.
Flash-forward 16 years: She and that boyfriend are married, have two kids, and can’t seem to get a new dog no matter what they try. Yes, she could find a breeder easily online (currently for sale on Craigslist: a Yorkie-poo puppy from a breeder asking $350 and just a few screening questions). But instead, in the middle of the pandemic, “I was sending ten to 12 emails a night and willing to travel anywhere, and no one would give us any sort of animal,” she remembers. Shelters would send snappy emails about how her family wasn’t suited for a puppy, even though they made good money and had clearly cared for their dearly departed George — they once drove three hours to get the dog a specially made knee brace. “I was trying to be really up front with people and would say that my daughter has autism and that I have a 3-year-old, and they would say no. It felt like they were saying, ‘We don’t give dogs to people who have disabilities.’ ”
It didn’t matter what kind of dog she applied for — older, younger, bigger, smaller — there was always an official-sounding excuse as to why her family wasn’t suitable. (“Pups this age bite and jump and scratch and while they are cute to look at, they are worse than a bratty ADHD toddler, without diapers,” one rescue wrote. “Sorry.”) She considered looking at emotional-support animals that work specifically with autistic youth but found out they could cost 18 grand and require a two-year waiting period. She couldn’t stomach the idea of setting up a GoFundMe, as other people in the community had. “It got to the point of me wondering, Okay, so what dogs do children get?” she recalls. “I always thought that dogs and children go together.” By the fall of 2020, Heather had turned back to breeders. “People get a little spicy when you say you paid for a dog. You want to scream that you tried your hardest, but it wasn’t possible,” she says.
Others, like Zainab, figured out ways to work the system. She blanketed agencies with applications in the early months of the pandemic, applying for 60 dogs. (The ease of applying online might also explain the statistics.) She thought the fact that she had a leadership role in public education would demonstrate that she was both successful and nurturing. “I’m a professional, I make good money, and I have a master’s degree,” she tells me. She was rejected all the same. Finally, a co-worker suggested Zainab make a résumé in order to stand out. The multipage document — which features testimonials from high-powered friends, including local elected officials — is what got her an exclusive meeting with Penny the pug in a parking lot. She was handed over with a leash tied around her neck and vomited in the front seat of Zainab’s car about three blocks later. Success!
Or take Lauren, who’d had dogs all her life and found living solo during COVID lonely. “You can’t be without an animal at this particular time,” she told herself. So she started applying for dogs on Petfinder and boutique-rescue websites. “I would look up at my clock, and it would be two in the morning,” she says. Her hopes were high when she got a meeting with a Chihuahua mix in the suburbs named Mary Shelley. Lauren thought the meeting went well, but it ultimately didn’t result in the interviewer granting the adoption. “Then I was in conspiracy-theory mode, thinking she doesn’t like gay people, or single people, or people who live in the city,” she says. “It was a crazy-making experience. It’s a pandemic, so your world is already turned upside down, but I became psychotic.
“The people who run rescue organizations — this was their moment to shine,” she adds. “Even though they were totally bogged down with requests, they got to feel the power. They got to make someone’s dreams come true or smash them to the ground.”
The inquiries can get extremely personal. “I found the questions very offensive,” says Joanna, a Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center nurse who tried to adopt last year with her architect husband. “I was like, ‘What does this have to do with getting a dog?’ ” Her husband didn’t even want to put the thought out into the universe, but he was forced to admit that he’d probably be the one to take a shared pet in the event of a divorce. The two also had to grapple with what would happen if one or both of them died of COVID during the pandemic. And would both of them be able to take three days off at a moment’s notice to help the dog acclimate to its new home? “I was frank with her and said, ‘I take care of cancer patients,’ ” says Joanna. “She was very unsatisfied with our answer.”
“The more popular the rescue is on the internet, the more clout they have,” says Molly, a writer in New York. “If you have a really good social-media presence, you can throw your weight around.” (The clout goes both ways: Posting about your rescue dog on Instagram is an indirect way of broadcasting that someone out there deemed you morally worthy enough to be chosen.) She inquired about eight dogs in six weeks from about five different rescues, only to be continually rejected. She finally got an interview with a rescue agency whose cute dogs she had seen on social media. They asked to tour her apartment over Zoom. Fine. They asked for her references. Great. But then they asked if she would pay for an expensive trainer. She asked if she could wait — not only was it during the height of COVID, but the cost of the sessions with the trainer could be close to $1,000. The person she was dealing with said over email that dogs were investments and suggested she look elsewhere. “I was like, This is so Brooklyn,” she says.
Still, others wished the warning about trainers had been more explicit. At the height of the pandemic, Steven remembers scrolling through social-media post after social-media post saying things like “URGENT: NEED TO FIND THIS GUY A HOME” while “picturing this dog on a conveyor belt going toward this whirring saw. And meanwhile I am screaming at my phone, ‘I applied and you turned me down!’ ”
But after securing a dog, he came to believe the process, while tough on the human applicants, wasn’t tough enough when it came to the dog’s needs. Right off the bat, Cooper was very hyper and mouthy when playing. “We were doing the thing that everyone does, like, posting pics: ‘We’re at the park, isn’t this fun, hahaha,’ ” he says. But the reality was much less Instagram-worthy. Cooper became difficult to handle, especially in a small New York apartment; mouthiness escalated to gnashing his teeth and guarding food. “It’s embarrassing, and I hate having to tell people we had to give the dog back,” he says. (So much so that Steven requested a pseudonym for himself and for Cooper.) “To be frank, the experience we had with the dog was pretty traumatic. If this volunteer had felt so powerful, I wish that they had said we wouldn’t be able to handle this dog.” Although Steven’sInstagram is replete with photos of other friends’ dogs, evidence of Cooper’s existence has disappeared from the account.
The rescue-dog demand has also been stressful for the overwhelmed (and overwhelmingly volunteer) workforce that keeps the supply chain running. On a recent Saturday, Jason was speeding toward JFK airport in a windowless white van covered in graffiti. Though he was on his way to help rescue dogs, he is the first to admit he’s not the biggest fan of the animals. “I just need something to do,” he says. “I was going crazy sitting around the house.” His friend, who was employed at a rescue, recommended him for an unpaid gig. Prior to the pandemic, he managed an Off Broadway play in the city. The 34-year-old, who is athletically built with a shaved head, has a compulsive need to be coordinating a production, and getting dogs to New York City from a different continent is definitely that.
Many of the city’s rescue dogs come from other parts of the world these days, brought over by volunteers who take them through a complicated Customs process. This is part of what Pet Nation author Mark Cushing calls the “canine freedom train.” A former corporate trial attorney, Cushing had thought that American shelters were filled with dogs with a figurative hatchet outside their kennel; that was until his daughter, a shelter volunteer, said that, in fact, scores of people were lined up around the block every weekend in hopes of adopting a handful of dogs. “I started to talk to shelter leaders across the country,” Cushing says. “And one by one, they said any adoptable dog without a medical issue is gone by noon on Saturday. But the public didn’t know that. Only the dog seekers and the experts did.”
Jason waited in arrivals, ready to stop anyone who walked by with dog crates. When he saw some, he swooped in. It turned out that he had ended up with an extra animal — one that was yowling like it needed to get out and pee. He couldn’t figure out to whom it belonged, and after about 40 minutes of drama in the pickup area, two large men jumped out of a truck with out-of-state plates. They handed Jason $20 before he knew what was happening, loaded the dog into their Silverado, and sped off toward North Carolina. It was unclear if they were adopters themselves or worked for a shelter.
With that out of the way, Jason tried to carefully maneuver a luggage cart full of the remaining dog crates to the lot where he was parked. When one fell, the animal inside didn’t make a sound, presumably zonked from its long journey across the ocean. More volunteers were waiting at the shelter with food, water, and an enormous number of puppy pads when he arrived. After the animals decompressed from their long flight, they would be taken to an adoption event, where they would hopefully meet their new humans.
Emily Wells hasn’t taken a vacation in years. She works full time on Wall Street but is also the coordinator for Pixies & Paws Rescue — a job that she does in between calls and meetings and emails. That means responding to DMs on Instagram about available dogs, attending adoption events on weekends, and getting on the phone with a vet at 10 p.m. because one of her fosters got sick. That also means screening applications, which more than doubled during the height of the pandemic. Typically, she denies about one-third. This part of her job might not be the most physically demanding, but it does take a psychic toll.
“What I’ve found is a lot of people are very entitled,” she says. “They send nasty emails. I’ve been called every name in the book. But there are reasons we deny. We are entrusted with placing a living, breathing thing in someone’s home for the rest of its life.” She wishes people would understand that the rescue is just her and one other person trying their best to deal with off-the-charts levels of demand. “I know rescues that don’t even reply,” she says. “So the fact that we do and still get shit for that is annoying.” And explaining why someone was rejected can create its own problems: What if they use that information to fib on their next application?
Rescues like Wells’s are largely dependent on foster parents to house the dogs they import. Foster-to-adopt is one way that people adopt pets, a means of testing out compatibility and increasing one’s chances of adopting in a hypercompetitive city. But demand for dogs was so high last year that even proven volunteers couldn’t get their hands on a foster. Take Suchita, an animal lover who moved from India to New Jersey for her husband’s VP job with a big bank in 2019. Unable to work owing to visa issues, she became a prolific dog fosterer for a rescue in Queens. She also worked with a program that pairs volunteers with elderly animal owners who need help taking their pets out on walks. That program was suspended during COVID, which left Suchita desperate for more dog time.
Figuring that online volunteer work might fill the void, she started helping another organization wade through its massive backlog of applications by calling references. She offered to foster more dogs but didn’t hear back, nor did her attempts to adopt pan out. When she went ahead and adopted Sasha, a Pomeranian, through another rescue agency, the first organization was not happy. “After I posted Sasha on Instagram, they called me saying it was a conflict of interest to have worked with another agency,” Suchita says. “I was not at all prepared for that. Then they unfollowed me. It really hurt, but no hard feelings.” She is humbly aware of the fact that in New York, there is always someone who has a nicer apartment, a better job, and more experience than you. If everything else is equal, why shouldn’t a shelter try to give a dog to someone who can afford to give it the best life possible?
“They don’t treat humans nicely, but at least they treat dogs nicely,” she says.
In some corners of the rescue world, a reckoning is taking place. Rachael Ziering, the executive director of Muddy Paws Rescue, which found homes for around 1,000 dogs last year, got her start volunteering at other nonprofits whose adoption processes she found abhorrent. She saw, for instance, people look at adoption applications and say, “Oh, that’s a terrible Zip Code. I’m not adopting to them.” Or they would judge people based on their appearance. “I know a lot of groups that will ask for your firstborn along with your application,” she says. “I think it’s well intentioned, but I think it just took a turn at some point. It’s morphed into sort of an unhealthy view that no one’s ever gonna be good enough. Nobody’s ever perfect — the dog or the person.” Muddy Paws is instead embracing what is known as “open adoption,” a philosophy that allows for rescue volunteers to be more open-minded about what a good dog home might look like. It has started gaining traction among groups like the ASPCA in recent years, in part because the organization’s current president was denied a dog — twice. Instead of rejecting applicants outright based on their giving the “wrong” answers, Ziering’s team speaks with hopeful dog owners at length, learning about their lifestyles and histories to match them with the pet best for their family. Still, even a more inclusive philosophy toward profiling adoption applicants comes up against the intractable math: There are only so many dogs that need homes. Though Muddy Paws rejects less than one percent of applicants, some decide to adopt elsewhere if it means getting a dog faster.
Is any of this good for the dogs? Depends on whom you ask. If the intense questions involved in securing the dog cause someone to reflect before making a decision they’ll regret — sure. Others note that the average dog’s life span has hovered around 11 years for decades. “I think it’s probably true that the majority of people who want to adopt a dog should not,” Jessica Pierce, a bioethicist who studies human-animal relationships, tells me. “They don’t have the wherewithal and don’t have what they need to give the animal a good life.” She herself ended up with two pets that didn’t get along at all — a herding mix and a pointer mix whose constant fighting made the idea of hosting a dinner party both perhaps “bloody” and definitely “scary and miserable.” She says shelters shouldn’t “drive away potentially loving and appropriate adopters because they don’t meet predetermined criteria,” but she also sees the importance of a thorough application process that prepares humans for the pitfalls of pet parenthood. “You need to be ready to have a dog who doesn’t like people very much,” says Pierce. When Bella, the 11-year-old she got from the Humane Society, dies, she’s not sure she will get a replacement, noting that the pandemic puppy boom is “driven by a reflection of human narcissism and neurosis.”
“A lot of this is driven by Instagram,” she says. “We have this expectation that dogs are not really dogs; they’re toys or fashion accessories.”
I’m not pushing you, but it seems like you want to bring him home,” the Badass Animal Rescue volunteer said with the controlled energy of a used-car salesperson. Bill and Sherrie, a middle-aged couple who had lost their English bulldog three years ago, were looking for a replacement. The dog with a bright-red boner jumped on Bill, and everyone pretended not to notice. “He definitely has energy,” Bill said brightly. The couple were on the fence, and the volunteer could sense the close slipping away.
Although this organization saw applications rise 200 percent during the pandemic, things are now recalibrating back to normalcy. We are, it seems, witnessing the cooling of the puppy boom. The unbearable loneliness of the pandemic has abated, replaced with anxiety about how to possibly do all the things all of us used to do every day. New Yorkers are being summoned back to the office or planning vacations. Many young professionals are finding that, when given the option between scrolling through rescue websites until 2 a.m. or doing drunken karaoke in a room full of friends, Dog Tinder is losing its appeal. Local shelters are seeing application numbers slip — many say they have returned to pre-COVID levels — which, in turn, has made it slightly more of an adopter’s market.
Bill and Sherrie went to the hallway to talk it over. He was definitely a puller like their old dog, Xena. And he was also a hell of a shedder. The volunteer kept talking about something called a “love match,” but was this really one? “We’re just gonna need a little more time,” Sherrie confessed when they came back inside. No one was making eye contact. As they prepared to leave, the dog jumped up on Bill again, his tongue flopping sideways and his wagging tail spraying white fur. He was clearly not aware that the tenor of the room had shifted. “We might be back,” Bill said with an obvious twinge of guilt. “Don’t worry!”
We will probably look back on the class of pandemic dogs adopted in 2020 as the most desirable unwanted dogs of all time — the ultimate market-scarcity score for a slice of virtuous, privileged New York City. People like Danielle will see them paraded around places like McCarren Park, the living, breathing trophies for self-satisfied owners who made it through the gauntlet. At least for the next 11 years or so.
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2024.05.12 22:55 Honest_Permission404 The internet was scary back then... Here's a list of what scared them

  1. 9/11
  2. Adolf Hitler
  3. Agamemnon Counterpart
  4. Arnold Takes his Helmet off in Space
  5. Baby Face (Toy Story)
  6. Baby Laugh'a'lot
  7. Ben Drowned
  8. BND
  9. Burgers and Fries the Cat
  10. Cartoon (NSPCC)
  11. Coraline
  12. Dark Harvest/Bolongius Maximus (Invader Zim)
  13. Dead Bart
  14. Dining Room or There is Nothing
  15. Don't Hug Me Im Scared
  16. Earthbound
  17. ELH (Luigi's Mansion)
  18. Evil Leafy (BFDI)
  19. Family Guy
  20. Feel Good Inc
  21. Five Nights at Freddy's
  22. Flapjack's Cat
  23. Freaky Fred
  24. Frybo
  25. Giygas
  26. Godzilla Game NES
  27. Gory Stickman Fight Animations
  28. Goosebumps
  29. Happy Tree Friends
  30. Herobrine
  31. I Ate a Baby For Dinner (Sims)
  32. I Don't Wanna Play With You Anymore (Toy Story 2)
  33. I Feel Fantastic
  34. I'm Not Tommy/Stu
  35. Jack in the Box Jack gets Ran Over by Bus
  36. Jimmy Neutron's Happy Family Hour
  37. K-Fee Car Commercial
  38. Klasky Csupo Splaat Logo
  39. Kool Aid Killer
  40. Lavender Town
  41. Let Me Hear Your Warcry
  42. Luigi's Mansion Beta Build Game Over Screen
  43. Mad Piano (Mario 64)
  44. Mario 64 1995 Build
  45. Mario Sunshine Commercial
  46. Max Headroom Hijack
  47. Missingno
  48. Oz from Wizard of Oz
  49. Peppa Pig and the Bacon
  50. Pico's School
  51. Popee the Performer
  52. PS3 Baby Commercial
  53. Rat Exterminator Ad (Garfield Show)
  54. Red Mist
  55. Roblox John Doe
  56. Salad Fingers
  57. Scary Ghost Caught on Tape
  58. Scary Maze Game
  59. Scotland against Drugs - Photograph PSA
  60. Slenderman
  61. Slendytubbies
  62. Sonic CD Majin Sonic Screen
  63. Sonic.exe
  64. South Park
  65. Special Education Class
  66. SpongeBob Close Ups
  67. Subliminal Messages Girl (Gary Takes a Bath)
  68. Suicide Mouse
  69. SML Movie: The Secret Door
  70. The Eds are Coming (Ed, Edd, n Eddy)
  71. The Foot (Rodrick Rules)
  72. THX Logo
  73. Top Chef PSA
  74. Unagi Eel
  75. Wallace and Gromit The Curse of the WereRabbit
  76. We're like Brothers Only Closer
  77. Weegee
  78. Yelling Creature
  79. Zanta Claws
  80. Zombie Grandpa Phil
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2024.05.12 22:21 IndigoWolf4711 DAY 34-SHARNA BURGESS DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨️

DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨
Day Pro Dancer Quote
1 Karina Smirnoff "Is there any reason why your head looks like a pigeon?"
2 Valentin Chmerkovskiy "Bro, you're one big wrong already."
3 Witney Carson "What do you need, a snack?"
4 Anna Trebunskaya "Some people say I'm a tough teacher. And I am."
5 Brandon Armstrong "I was born in '94..."
6 Cheryl Burke "So the name of the song is 'Call Me Irresponsible', remind you of anybody? I think it's perfect for you!"
7 Edyta Śliwińska "I'm wearing so much clothes that I got tangled in it!"
8 Artem Chigvintsev "Fine! I watched 'Fifty Shades of Grey'!"
9 Corky Ballas "Now we're doing the Mambo which originated in the '40s!"...
10 Chelsie Hightower "South America speaks Spanish?"
11 Derek Hough "I'm rough, I'm tough, I'm Derek Hough."
12 Charlotte Jørgensen "Get your heel up on your back foot, or I'll kill you."
13 Allison Holker "Team Rallison!!!"
14 Julianne Hough "I felt like you just had to phone it in so you could get back with Meryl."
15 Alec Mazo "Josie is deceptively unfit."
16 Alan Bersten "It's a little shaky in here!"
17 Jenna Johnson "ADAM! WE GOTTA QUICKSTEP!!!"
18 Ashly DelGrosso-Costa "It needs to be equal teamwork, and I can't play a tug-of-war anymore."
19 Gleb Savchenko "You look like a dancer when you're not moving."
20 Kym Johnson-Herjavec "I should never have made us try that stupid lift..."
21 Maksim Chmerkovskiy "With all due respect, this is my show, I help make it what it is."
22 Lacey Schwimmer "STEVE!!! How am I supposed to be in love with you if you keep farting all the time?!?!"
23 Mark Ballas “And you said habede habeduh de de. Daba da dip bah da be. That’s what you said when I asked you."
24 Lindsay Arnold "That salsa will get ya-every time!"
25 Louis Van Amstel "I was jealous of Mark on Season 5, but I got the girl now!"
26 Koko Iwasaki "You're a real Jersey party boy, and I need you to be a suave English gentleman for Bond Night."
27 Keo Motsepe "If Len gives a 10, I'm gonna run down and kiss him!"
28 Peta Murgatroyd Her scream after finding out that she and Tommy Chong had made the semi-finals.
29 Pasha Pashkov "You don't know who I am, but I've been praying I get you!"
30 Sasha Farber "If you wanna dance, you know it would be my honour. My main worrybis your health."
31 Jonathan Roberts "Let's take a commercial break."
32 Daniella Karagach "YEAH! OH SHIT!!!"
33 Dmitry Chaplin "I feel like I'm cheating on Jewel with another partner."
34 Sharna Burgess
35 Tristan MacManus
36 Britt Stewart
37 Rylee Arnold
38 Tony Dovolani
39 Emma Slater

Welcome to DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

A huge thank you to the lovely u/invader_holly who suggested the idea, and that I run this game here! 💕
How does it work?
Each day, I'll reshare this board. With each day is a new pro. Similarly to past games I've done like Dances of the Seasons, The Dancing with the Stars Alphabet, Favourite Dances Per Style, and The Pros' Most Memorable Dances, for every day, you can all comment a response. This time, the response would be a quote from the respective pro for that day! As with previous games, the comment with the most upvotes wins. At the end, I'll put together a video compilation together!
MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU WANT TO SUGGEST NUMEROUS QUOTES, DO THEM EACH IN A SEPERATE COMMENT. THE COMMENT WITH THE MOST UPVOTES WINS AND IS ADDED TO THE BOARD. IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE TRY AND ADD WHEN THE PRO SAYS THE QUOTE (SO I CAN FIND THE CLIP TO ADD TO THE VIDEO COMPILATION).
Yesterday's round was won by u/Camooo1992 's suggestion!

DAY 34: SHARNA BURGESS

submitted by IndigoWolf4711 to dancingwiththestars [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 21:57 Haunting-Band-2763 Hazbin Hotel- E1 S1: Overture (Gender swap)

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting) Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key) Vagner: Charles? Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that? Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there. Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps. Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay? Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff. Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet? (Charles shakes his head saying no) Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now? Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about. Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone. Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work. Vagner: It will. I have faith in you. (The cat hopes on Charles) Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us. (Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes) (A commercial plays) Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here. (The tv suits off) Alice: So, what'd ya' think? Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?! Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...ummm... Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad". Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious! Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point. Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them. Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it. Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time! (A demon on a sofa raises her hand) Vagner: What? Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here? Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star. Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in. Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial. Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy talk-creepy voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel. Alice: Haha! Never going to happen! Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way! Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes... (Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling) Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man... Charle: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away) Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby. (Charles breathes and answers the phone) Charles: Hello? Mom? Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here? Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can! Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here? (The camera goes to Hisky) Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me? Niffter: I like being forced! Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff. Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers? Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat. Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty. Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to. Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it? Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder) Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive. Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I acn totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!!Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit! Vagner: Ahh! What?! Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here! (Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is) Vagner: What's going on? Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply) Vagner: But... But-- But tbe extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after... Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan! Vagner: Charles, hold on. Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change! Vagner: It's just a meeting. Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have. Vagner: This could be bad. Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell! Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them. Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street. Vagner: Is he... Angela: Oh, he's dancin'. Vagner: Ugh, no. Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss! Demon: Go fuck yourself! Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul! Charles: Hello! Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes! Charles: Uh, excuse me... Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role! Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well! Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell! Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change! Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change! Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange! Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged! Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this... Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire... Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burnig my soul! Chorus: Ah! Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it! Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole! Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds! Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts! Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny! Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker! Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Charles: Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper) (Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room) Charles: Hello? Is anyone here? (The lights turn on) Eve: 'Sup? Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you. Eve: Yeah, I know. Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand) Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand) (Charles hand passes through Eve's hand) Charles: Ahh! Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that? (Luther shaves his head in yes) Eve: Good shit! Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here? Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew. Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth) Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it. My husband's receipe. Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs) Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha! (Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby) Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice? (Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: a video camera. Alice: Hmm? (Snaps her fingers) (A video camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: All right, let's do this! (Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar) Vagner: And...Action! Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?" Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!" Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..." Angela: "Oh yes!" Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!" Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face? Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit! Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh! Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle) Vagner: Hisky, come on! (Meanwhile, Charles is bored) Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend? Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much. Eve: I know. I fucking rock. Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am. Eve: Call me Pussymaster. Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl. Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh. Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger, a revolutionary, a...A genius! Eve: I maen, yout words, babe. Charles: Who would really her name on something. Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best! Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem! Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch. Charles: No! Our other biggest problem. Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm... (At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it) Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab. Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay? Niffter: Got it. I'm ready. Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action! (Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused) Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera) (Niffter smiles again) Niffter: (Giggles) How was that? Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again. Niffter: Okay! Vagner: Action. (Niffter stares deeply at the camera) Angela: You're doing great, Vaginer! Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post. Angela: Do you even know what that means? Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out! (In lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv) Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. (Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side) Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm? Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here? Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job! Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alastor, the egocentric piece pf shit that... (Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down) Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio. Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shitass?! (Turns around and walks away) Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you. Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice. Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it) Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers) (Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes) Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial. (Meanwhile) Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"! Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell! Eve: (Normal) Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year? Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am. Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Lute) Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right? Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven. Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation. Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes. Luther: Angels don't make mistakes. Charles: You really think that? Luther: I know that. Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life. Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter. (Charles shrinks back) Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it... Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in... Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time! Charles: (Normal) Okay? Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates! Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! Charles: Okay, but... Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath! Charles: (Nervously) Hehe... Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry! Charles: Actually, if you take a look... Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever wheter you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! Charles: Where all this people come from? Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot! (Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head) Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination! Charles: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Hold Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar) Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door) (Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel) Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen? Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um... Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air. Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha! Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one? Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself. Charles: That's...That's amazing. Angela: Shh! It's starting! Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot... (The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains) Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita? Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie? Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked! (The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming) Angela: Wait...What? Why?! (A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship) Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them! Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark) (The end credits start playing)
Sorry, Vivziepop, I had to
submitted by Haunting-Band-2763 to hazbin [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 20:34 Leftylizard9085 I play a game I call "Sleep Points". Every night I hide under my blanket (Part 20)

First Part - I play a game they call "Sleep Points". Every night I hide under my blanket (Part 1) : nosleep (reddit.com)
Previous Part - I play a game I call "Sleep Points". Every night I hide under my blanket (Part 19) : nosleep (reddit.com)
I had no idea how to react to any of this. There was a long awkward pause of about 30 or 40 seconds where I just kept my mouth shut and let Anastasia let it all out. My first instinct, though, was to ask probably the dumbest question I could’ve asked at that moment.
“Who’s Wendy Peterson?” I asked. I immediately regretted the question. This was obviously a person ENORMOUSLY important to Anastasia, and here I was, just asking who the hell she was, like she was some nobody. But Anastasia didn’t seem too upset. I guess my question took her mind off the tragedy with her friend, since she seemed to regain her composure a bit after I asked that.
“I –“ she started, then took a few breaths. “I believe I mentioned her in passing during our meeting in the Stairwell a few days ago. When I was a new player, I needed guidance of my own. Wendy was the one who gave it to me,” she explained. “Excuse me for a moment,” she said, leaving the bedroom. I wasn’t entirely sure what she headed out for, but when she came back with a carton of orange juice and a bottle of vodka, it got pretty clear.
“Honestly, I should’ve been expecting this…” she trailed off, somberly, pouring herself a shot from the bottle and promptly downing it. “Her time was nearly up,” she explained. “One cannot play Sleep Points forever, Morgan. You can extend your time with this game all you like, but The Sandman always collects his due,” she said.
“Would you care for any?” she asked, gesturing towards the vodka bottle. On the one hand, she was probably one of the smartest, most athletic, and most all-around most accomplished students in school. She had all the best grades, all the best awards, all the best everything. And yet still, THIS was apparently the person that all those after-school specials had warned me about when they would try and scare me about “peer pressure”.
I had never been offered anything like alcohol or weed or cigarettes or ANYTHING by anyone before. Well scratch that, now and then Ezra would offer me some skunk-weed for like 90 bucks a gram. He used to make a killing heading down to the seedier parts of town buying the cheapest pot he could he get his hands on, and then re-selling it over at College High for a fucking LAUGHABLE mark-up.
Now, I had never smoked before, but even I of all people could tell that whatever Ezra was selling was absolutely NOT worth what he was charging. But a lotta freshmen at College High were so desperate for ANYTHING to get ‘em high and they’re obviously not always the sharpest tools in the shed, so even with his INSANE scalping techniques, he STILL found plenty of willing buyers.
But either way, it was ONE thing when the school edgelord offered you something. That just kinda comes with the territory, and you pretty much know to expect it. But to be offered alcohol – and very STRONG alcohol at that – by my school’s model student was nothing I could’ve ever expected. Although, this was also the same girl who was telling me to steal my parents’ car keys, sneak out in the middle of the night without either one of our parents knowing, and head on over to her place. So maybe encouraging me to break the law wasn’t THAT far out of Anastasia’s wheelhouse, come to think of it.
“Well, I DID have to drive up here. I’m gonna have to drive back, too, y’know. You DO realize that, right?” I said.
“Oh c’mon, one shot won’t kill you,” she said, trying to egg me on a little. “You’ll be sober by the time you leave at 3. And besides. What other cars will be out at THIS time of night? Don’t let Ezra’s hallucination tricks fool you. He can make you see all KINDS of things, Morgan. If you wanna know if he’s REALLY there, just poke him,” she said, downing a second shot. Which was a bit concerning to me, because I had always heard about how you’re supposed to pace yourself with drinking and this second shot came pretty shortly after the first.
“If he’s not, your finger will go right through him. Why, it’s practically a rite of passage for new players to be thoroughly bamboozled by one of Ezra’s visual gags,” she explained. “Some would call it hazing. And I would not find that to be an unfair assessment. Ezra has a rather twisted sense of humor to say the least. Tricking you into thinking that you were about to crash headlong into his vehicle is perfectly consistent to his character,” she said. Had I told her about that? I figured it didn’t really matter, since she would’ve found out either way.
“I tend to prefer my vodka neat, though I suppose you have yet to become acclimated to the taste. It is most off-putting to the inexperienced. That is why I have brought this carton of orange juice, such that the alcoholic flavor of your beverage shall be masked to a comfortable extent,” she said. “Now don’t worry, I will only pour in ONE shot. You would hardly taste it,” she concluded, as she finished pouring out my drink.
I took a sip. I’ll admit, it tasted a little funky, but not enough to gross me out or anything. So, I had a little more. Anastasia seemed quite pleased with this. She then poured herself a THIRD shot. So, just because I feel like keeping score, we were now only about 20 minutes into our meeting and this girl was on shot number THREE. She had only brought the bottle out about 10 minutes before this. Though in her defense, she didn’t have any more after that. Y’know. For about another 20 minutes. Yeah.
“That should be quite enough,” she said, finishing her third shot. She got up, put the bottle and the orange juice away, and we were back to Wendy.
“Now, Wendy is not someone you would be familiar with, because she is from upstate,” she explained. “VERY upstate. She lives in Barrow,” she said. Technically, that little town in the way far north of Alaska changed its name to something else a few years before all this, but I can’t pronounce or spell it, so I’ll just be calling it by it’s old name “Barrow” since that’s easier.
“Well, ‘lived’, perhaps I should say,” she said correcting herself. “I too lived in Barrow until fairly recently. Though my family had moved to Alaska from St. Petersburg when I was 3, we did not move to Fairbanks. Instead, we had moved to Barrow, where we had lived for approximately 10 years from sometime in the spring of 2007 until December 1st, 2017, just over a year ago now, by now. I recall the date as it was an extremely difficult move. Not least because I had already been playing Sleep Points for over a year by then,” she said.
“Well, what about playing Sleep Points made the move so difficult?” I asked.
“I must remind you that to hide from The Sandman, you must be asleep in your OWN bed,” she explained. “I would not have been capable of escaping the clock by moving. It would follow me throughout my travels, as it ultimately did. And I knew all of this l in advance. For a few dreadful hours, I had truly thought this impromptu move from Barrow to Fairbanks would be the death of me. Surely this would require several nights out of my bed, I had thought,” she explained.
“And I must stress the point that this move was EXTREMELY spontaneous. I had not been told of it even a day in advance. One day my father told me to pack up everything into our RV, and the next, we were on the road. Well, the metaphorical road in any case. Now you see, a particularly complicated facet of my father’s bizarre plan to move us from Barrow to Fairbanks all at once was the fact that there are no roads connecting to Barrow. Typically, when a person leaves town with a great deal of luggage and cargo as we did, given that we had to take all our possessions with us as we would not be returning, it is during the summer, when the oceans have thawed, allowing for various cargo ships to ferry one’s things to one’s desired destination. Given that it was December at the time, this was simply not an option,” she explained.
“And we of course could not use an airplane to fly to Fairbanks given that everything in our old house would never fit on a commercial airliner. The only feasible option was my father’s Recreational Vehicle. It was extraordinarily cramped, but after a few hours when all was said and done, most of our things managed to, in principle, ‘fit’ to some uncomfortable degree or other”, she said. “Though some things did still need to be left behind. Such as my bedframe, for example. Though I had strongly insisted on bringing my mattress.
I did not know for certain if my bedframe was required to stave off The Sandman, but, given the frankly preposterous circumstances in which I had found myself, I had gambled on the notion that all I would need to stay safe would be to sleep in the same mattress. During my first night in the RV, I was entirely unaware of whether or not I would live to see the following day. As midnight approached, I felt my life slipping away from me, as though it were flashing before my eyes, as the old cliché goes. I am forever grateful that my clever loophole successfully warded off my seemingly inevitable demise,” she said.
And again, as a reminder, she’s 3 shots of hard liquor in at this point and still prattling on like a goddamn encyclopedia, just like how she usually would. I gotta admit, I was damn near genuinely impressed with how lucid and intellectual she could still sound, even after all she had had to drink. She didn’t even seem tipsy. Though one thing I will say, is that while she would usually speak in an American accent, the deeper and deeper into her drinking she would get, there would always seem to be more and more bits and pieces of her original Russian accent creeping through. Though at that point, I could hardly notice it. But anyway, back to the story Anastasia was telling me.
“Though I must say, my father was very opposed to me taking my mattress. And I could not, for the life of me, ascertain why. When I asked him, he claimed it was because we needed to conserve as much space as possible, and that, because there was a pullout couch in the RV for me to sleep on, that I should use that instead. But I knew for a fact, for an absolute FACT, that spending even a single night out of my proper bed would end my life most abruptly. And so, I persisted. The rest of the family was already quite opposed to the move initially, and thus I had high hopes of turning them against him, thereby overruling his decision to force me to leave behind my mattress. And, through enough prodding from my mother, my father relented, and I took it with me,” she finished.
“Well, if the rest of your family was so against the move, then how did you guys end up going through with it?” I asked.
Anastasia seemed like she was hesitating a bit to answer the question. For a moment, it looked like she might not have been comfortable answering, but then explained the difficult situation to me as carefully as she could.
“Now that, Morgan, is a rather… complicated question,” she said, slowly. “My father has what one might consider a somewhat… ‘colorful’ past, shall we say,” she explained. “Now, I am not entirely certain of the specifics as he has never been particularly forthcoming about them, but from what I gather, this colorful past of his likely has something or other to do with organized crime or perhaps something else of a similar nature.
In any case, that phase of his life is behind him, and he would most definitely appreciate it remaining that way. That was why we had initially emigrated from Russia in the first place. And why we had moved to Barrow, Alaska in particular. My father wished to make it as challenging as possible for him to be tracked down and, with Barrow being perhaps one of the most remote communities on the face of the earth, he had considered it a strong candidate. But, in late 2017, he unfortunately was tracked down after all. And he had very little time to do anything about it.
As frustrating as it was to have to pick up everything all at once and to travel hundreds of miles through the dense Alaskan forest by RV, we all understood that whatever agents or mafiosos were after him would not spare a single one of us either, thus it was absolutely crucial that we all go into hiding as fast as possible. And so, we acquiesced to my father’s spontaneous decision that we move to Fairbanks as there was a common understanding in the family that he would not be asking any such things of us unless ghosts of his past were coming back to haunt us all. We knew we had no choice but to vacate the premises post-haste.
As it so happened, there was, and continues to be, a certain man in Fairbanks that, through methods unbeknownst to me, allows for my father to hide in plain sight, and to never be tracked down again. That made Fairbanks our new safest option, and it is why my father moved us all to this town specifically. This means that we will thankfully never have to make any such sudden change in residency ever again, “she concluded.
“Would you like another drink?” she asked, noticing I had already finished my orange juice with the shot of vodka she had given it. “In any case, I will be pouring myself another shot,” she added. “And I do hate to drink alone. I find alcohol consumption far more rewarding when drinking in the company of a friend. I am aware that I set a rather poor example by having so much all at once right in front of you, but in my own defense, you should know that I do not drink in such excess when I am alone. I would DEFINITELY never endorse such behavior from anyone else, and it is why I am quite glad to have you around to care for me, should anything go awry,” she said.
“Well, how the hell am I supposed to do THAT if I’m already two drinks in myself?” I asked, trying to be the voice of reason in order to clamp down on all of this, since to me, it looked like things were starting to get out of hand. I wanted to believe she wouldn’t drink like this while alone, and that she was only doing this because she was having a really tough time getting over the death of her best friend Wendy, and just felt safe with me around. Looking back, I think at the time, that was more or less true. Maybe not entirely true, but with the benefit of hindsight, I can confidently say that at this point, having 4 shots in an hour was a bit much, even for Anastasia. But unfortunately for her, it wasn’t about to stay that way in the coming years.
“Morgan, if you are sober enough to ensure that I do not vomit anywhere other than the toilet, you will have done a fine job of caring for me. And I likely will not throw up at all, as I happen to have a rather strong alcohol tolerance as it is,” she said. For a moment, it seemed like there was a hint of pride in her voice, but that quickly went away when she realized what she had just told me, and what it implied about how much she would normally have, even when alone.
“Well, not because of how much I would TYPICALLY have to drink, I should say. This alcohol tolerance of mine is by no means ACQUIRED,” she backtracked. “Rather, it is a simple result of my genetics. My forebearers had a great deal of alcohol tolerance themselves, which it would appear I have inherited,” she explained, defensively. “Well, I’ll pour you out another, in case you would like one, but don’t feel pressure to drink it if you wouldn’t like to. I’ll have it myself, if you are uninterested,” she offered.
On the one hand, I knew I would be scared to death to drive back home if I was two drinks in, but on the other, I really wanted this fourth shot to be her last one of the night and take away any excuse she could have to drink any further. And then there was the fact that I didn’t wanna look ungrateful for her offer. She had already said she considered me a friend, and it seemed really important to her that I just go along with her and have another. This really seemed like her way of reaching out and trying to connect with me, so I just felt bad turning her down.
Though I’ll admit, it may have also been because I had a bit of a buzz going myself and wasn’t gonna say no to a bit more of one. Though I couldn’t let Anastasia know about any of that. If I did, then she’d have an excuse to get me just as wasted as she was, and I seriously could NOT let something like that happen.
“There you are, my good man. Na zdroviye,” she said, clinking her shot glass against my glass of orange juice mixed with a shot of my own.
“I’m sorry?” I asked, not quite getting the last part of what she had said.
“I said ‘na zdroviye’,” she said, a bit more slowly, enunciating the phrase she had said before. “I can’t blame you for being confused. It’s a common Russian saying when sharing a drink with one’s close confidants. It means ‘for good health’,” she explained. “Well, go on. Say it back. Have manners, now,” she said.
“I… don’t think I can pronounce that. I don’t speak any Russian,” I said.
“Understandable. I suppose it’s a somewhat difficult phrase for English speakers. But I would still appreciate your best attempt at it,” she said.
“Well alright, but I won’t promise not to butcher it,” I said, before saying something more along the lines of like “nsdroveh”.
“Meh, close enough,” said Anastasia, before downing her fourth shot of the night.
“This is gonna have to be my last one, though. It’s 1:40, and I’m gonna need to be on the road by about 3, if this meeting is gonna go according to your schedule,” I said.
“What time do your parents wake up on weekends?” she asked. “If they sleep in, you might not have to leave until 4, maybe even 5. I am entering a new stage tonight, and I would not like to go through my first night alone. That, in tandem with the fact that we still have so much more of Sleep Points to go over, is why I am far more concerned with you leaving too early rather than too late,” she said. “We may well need to fit two nights of discussions into one, tonight. Have you met your sleep quota yet?” she asked.
“Well… not quite. But should be able to get 90 minutes in during the day tomorrow. I mean, I’ve been up for 2 days, and it really feels like the new moon has been helping. I’ve already strung together 26 minutes so far, and since tomorrow is Saturday, I’ve got all day tomorrow to get some sleep in,” I explained.
“You cannot afford to risk that. If you still need 90 minutes of sleep within the next 24 hours or so, then it will be far too dangerous for you to risk missing out on it by coming to visit. You must stay at home tomorrow night. I will not let you in if you decide to come anyway,” she said. “26 minutes after two under a waning moon is, I must again say, a rather poor sign. Most by now would have strung together at least a full hour. At least among those only in Stage Two, in any case.
Now, I have no doubt that, with the melatonin I have given you, you will have nothing to worry about this weekend. The new moon will shortly be upon us, and, so long as you have melatonin at your disposal, you will most likely survive the next week or two with relative ease. It is the full moon that concerns me. The full moon on later stages, to be more specific. Not only do I have my reservations about your capacity to survive the upcoming full moon in roughly three weeks’ time, but even if you do, it will still be very worrying when you are confronted with the next full moon, when you are on Stage Three. And there are many more stages beyond that as well, each more sleep depriving than the last.
Even though you sustained 90 minutes of sleep within 72 hours once, it was a rather close call. And not even during a full moon, at that. How much closer of a call will it be when it finally arrives? I don’t see anything happening to you in the immediate future, but when I look to the long-term, I must say that your chances appear quite bleak. Now, since you have only gotten 26 minutes of continuous sleep since your last 90-minute stretch, I suppose that would mean that you have yet utilize any of the melatonin gummies since then, correct?” she asked.
“Oh no, I haven’t had any since then,” I responded. She seemed pretty relieved by that. “Good. Very good. While this does not improve my outlook on your long-term safety, your response thankfully does not worsen my predictions, as I had feared it would. How many melatonin gummies had you taken Wednesday night?” she asked.
“Well, I had taken 10, but that’s not too much, right? I mean, you had said I might need to take up to 10, didn’t you?” I asked.
“While it is true that I had suggested the possibility of requiring up to 10, I had hoped that that amount would not be the amount required of you. I had hoped that you would only need perhaps 5 or 6. While 10 is not entirely beyond the pale, it is still quite unideal. At this rate, you may have even run out of gummies entirely by the time of the full moon. I will provide you with a new container of gummies if I must, but I fear that that will only be putting a band-aid over your issues. How long will that container last? I do not have an endless supply of sleep points to spend on you.
I, myself, shall run out eventually, as my supply of sleep points will not be able to replenish itself if I am so constantly supplying you with increasingly potent sleeping aids. I have plenty of sleeping supplements which I must supply myself if I wish to continue in this new and most challenging stage that I have reached tonight. They are quite expensive, so I will have very little left over in order to cover YOUR insomnia, as well as my own.
You are quite lucky that you did not snoop through my window during this stage. You would have surely died, being that close to The Sandman if I had already graduated to this one by then. That is why, along with being so inappropriate, what you had done was so dangerous. If I had been even one Stage farther along, you would not have come out of that episode alive.
I must now be asleep every hour on the hour from 12AM to 5AM, just I had to be during the previous stage. I must also have been asleep for 5 minutes by the time a new hour is reached, and I must also remain asleep for another 5 minutes beyond that, where before I had only needed to be asleep on the hour, and nothing more.
It is presently 1:50. This means that I now have only 5 minutes to fall asleep, and so I will have to leave things here for now, though I expect to see you back at 2:05, when I may wake up once more. Sit in your truck until then. Do not stand out in the cold. Furthermore, and I cannot stress this enough, do not look through my window. Even after The Sandman is gone. I hope I have made it clear that you should never do any such thing ever again. Now leave. When 2:00 comes, you will not be safe anywhere in the vicinity of my house. I have already wasted another minute explaining the situation to you, so please leave right this instant. Go,” she finished.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I was already panicking for her, knowing that she had to go from being wide awake to completely past out in just 4 minutes. Maybe the alcohol would help put her to sleep. Maybe that was another reason she had had so much. She needed it in order to help her be asleep on time. Though, granted, it was probably more complicated than that.
Either way, I knew to keep away as she had asked. She quickly turned out the light of her bedroom, and once I had gotten my heavy winter coat back on, I sped out back to my truck as fast as I could. I even pulled out of the driveway and drive up the street a little ways just for good measure. And when 2:00 came, I was glad that I had. Even from up the street, I could see that her entire house was now completely enveloped in a sinister red glow. And I could hear The Sandman all the way from out there. It sounded just as loud as it did when it was right next to me in own room. With how loud it was from where I was sitting, I could only imagine how absolutely deafening it must’ve been from where Anastasia had been laying.
How the hell was she managing to sleep so soundly through all of this? I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to know. In any case, I was way too busy with making sure I was far enough away to keep myself safe, as it was. Because the glowing red light was starting to grow, and it was starting to look like it might just have been heading toward me. I wasn’t entirely certain of what would happen if I DID get caught up in the red glow, but I had enough sense to know that it couldn’t possibly have been anything good.
submitted by Leftylizard9085 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 17:34 thelazysea [HIRE ME] Need a Writer? Hire Me for FREE for the first 500 words...

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submitted by thelazysea to phclassifieds [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 16:29 Nathan1123 Twilight Zone Integrated Universe (Part 2)

This is the rest of the timeline that I threw together, taking the thought experiment of "what if the Twilight Zone episodes took place in the same universe?" to its logical conclusion. The first part can be found here.

Alien visits and invasions (c.1955-1959)

The end of World War II marks the end of the "historical" episodes of the Twilight Zone, meaning that the rest of the episodes either takes place near the "present day" (1950s-1960s) or in the future (after 1964). The first category of episodes I want to address are those that involve alien visitations or invasions, and offer an explanation for why there are so many alien encounters over a relatively brief period of time.
Old Ben had been hiding on Earth for a while, possibly thousands of years, before he was suddenly discovered in the episode The Fugitive. This episode probably took place in the mid-1950s. This single discovery may have triggered a kind of "awakening" where Earth's existence suddenly became known to many alien races at once. Just like the discovery of a new continent in Earth's history, these alien races reacted to the discovery of Earth in different ways. Some visited for scientific curiosity (Stopover in a Quiet Town or Mr. Dingle, the Strong), some offered peaceful diplomacy (The Gift, The Fear), some planned conquest or commercial exploitation (To Serve Man or The Monsters are Due on Maple Street), and so forth. A critical analysis of these episodes gets a general sense of what order they probably took place in, all of which happened between the mid-to-late 1950s:
The episodes Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up? and Mr. Dingle, the Strong both make reference to an arms race between Mars and Venus, placing them around the same time. The secret experiments of the Martians were probably responsible for other individuals inexplicably receiving superpowers (The Prime Mover, The Four of Us Are Dying, and What You Need). This places all of these episodes around the late 1950s, or c.1958.
Even though no aliens actually visit during the episode, I Dream of Genie technically falls into the third category listed above, i.e. humanity being paranoid of an impending alien invasion. The genie here may be the same one who encountered Arthur Castle (The Man in the Bottle). This places both of these episodes in c.1959.

Space and Interdimensional Travel (1959-1963)

As mentioned earlier, the first phase of episodes involving space travel are limited to short distances between Earth and the Moon. There are four episodes that fall into that category: Where is Everyone?, I Shot an Arrow into the Air, And When the Sky Was Opened, and The Parallel, all of which can be solidly dated between 1959-1963.
Where is Everyone? explicitly gives the date as 1959, but it's mentioned that they are making preparations to land on the Moon. With the advanced space traveling technology stolen from the Kanamites, it's possible that the Moon landing was a full ten years earlier than in our timeline. As mentioned in a previous Reddit post, I Shot an Arrow into the Air is a very strange episode astronomically speaking: how could the astronauts not realize they traveled too short a distance to be on any other planet but Earth? Maybe because the humans didn't actually build this hyperspace engine, but they are still struggling to reverse-engineer the Kanamite technology, whose navigation equipment may still be a mystery. These kind of inferences is chiefly the reason why I pushed the alien invasions to the 1950s.
And When the Sky Was Opened mentions the astronauts rode in a X-20 Dyna-Soar, which is a real spaceship built in 1963 by the Boeing corporation. In our timeline, the project was canceled and the spaceship was never actually used, but this raises multiple questions. On the one hand, we could say that the project was successfully completed in the Twilight Zone universe. But on the other hand, at the end of the episode some unseen force erased the space craft from existence.
The Parallel specifically mentions that John F. Kennedy is President, dating the episode to 1963. But this tangentially opens up a related category of Twilight Zone episodes, regarding Earth's relationship with parallel universes. Just as was the case with extraterrestrial contact, the episodes regarding parallel universes can be arranged in a logical order:

The Cold War, and the Devil's influence (1961-1964)

The Whole Truth is dated to 1961, and this has some fascinating implications for the rest of the timeline. In this episode, a used car salesman possesses a car that causes its owner to always tell the truth. At the end of the episode, he convinces a Soviet correspondent to gift the car to Premier Nikita Khrushchev, during his meeting with President John F. Kennedy (which historically took place in 1961). But what geopolitical implications could there be if the premier of the Soviet Union was compelled to always tell the truth? Historically, Khrushchev already had a tenuous control over his regime, so a disaster like this could easily cause him to become deposed or even assassinated (not unlike the alternate timeline in the 1980s Twilight Zone episode Profile in Silver, but that's a story for another time). It may be the sudden shift in leadership of the Soviet Union that sets events in motion that leads to the nuclear war later in the timeline.
Knowing that the Devil is always active during times of political crisis, then it may be around this same time that the epilogue of The Howling Man takes place, when the Devil is released once again. The Devil appears in a female form in the episode Of Late I Think of Cliffordville, which is explicitly dated to 1963. Thus, other episodes that feature the Devil operating in the present day can be dated between 1961-1963 (Escape Clause, Printer's Devil, A Nice Place to Visit, and The Hunt). There are, of course, other episodes that involve demons or witchcraft (such as The Chaser, The Jungle, or Jesse-Belle) but not the Devil himself.

Robots and Sentient AI (1965-1974)

There are quite a lot of Twilight Zone episodes that involve sentient artificial intelligence in some way, or otherwise-inanimate objects that possess some intelligence (like The Dummy). Just as the case with developing space travel technology, the development of robotic technology evolves over multiple stages, which allows us to place these episodes in chronological order:
Note that this category does NOT include episodes objects that are possessed by ghosts or demons, as that obviously doesn't count as AI (for example, Long Distance Call).

Space Colonies and Nuclear War (c.1970-1997)

Having finished the 1960s, the next phase of the timeline returns to the subject of spaceflight technology, specifically interplanetary travel within our Solar System. The episode People are Alike All Over depicts the first landing on Mars, and while it doesn't give a date for this event we can estimate it from other information. The episode Elegy mentions that the human outpost "Happy Glades" was built in 1973, located on an asteroid 655 million miles from Earth. This distance is not enough to be outside the Solar System, but it is far enough to be located in the asteroid belt. Because the asteroid belt is farther away from Earth than Mars, then the first landing on Mars must have already happened by that point. Thus, this episode must take place in the early 1970s at the latest. With the acceleration of space travel technology, it's possible that the iconic Moon landing in 1969 was actually on Mars in this timeline.
There are two episodes that involve space travel to planets in other solar systems, supposedly close by to ours (The Invaders and The Little People). Both of these races had visited Earth years ago (Stopover in a Quiet Town and The Fear). These most likely take place in the late 1970s or early 1980s. At this stage, humanity is just exploring other planets and not attempting to establish colonies yet.
The episode Elegy establishes that nuclear war broke out in 1985, and a few other episodes take place around this same time. The growth of technology and social development since the Kanamite invasion did nothing to dissuade the political rivalry between the United States and Soviet Union, or if anything accelerated it. The USSR was probably taken over by a more radical faction after Khrushchev was deposed from power (The Whole Truth).
Two episodes mention the impending expectation of nuclear war, but in both of these cases the war turned out to be a false alarm (The Shelter and One More Pallbearer). The only episode to actually depict the war itself is Time Enough, At Last. The episode Two takes place five years after the war began, placing it in the year 1990. The episode The Old Man in the Cave takes place ten years after the war, dating it to 1995. By that point, the US government had already been re-established, and was slowly pulling itself back together by making contact with each isolated pocket of survivors. The United States continues to exist as a nation into the far future (The Long Morrow), but there is no indication that the Soviet Union survived the war.
As a result of interstellar travel being developed before the nuclear war broke out, there was a mass exodus of human refugees that set up colonies in distant star systems. The episode On Thursday We Leave for Home says that the V-9 Gamma colony was established in 1991, and they specifically mention that it was made by people fleeing Earth due to the outbreak of a global war. The episode Death Ship takes place in 1997, which mentions they are looking for planets suitable for colonization. The episode The Long Morrow initially takes place in 1987, in which Douglas Stansfield is sent to a star system 141 light years away from Earth (the longest distance ever given in a Twilight Zone episode).

The farther future (c.2000-2185)

By the 2020s, Earth (specifically the United States) is now re-establishing contact with the distant colonies that had previously been lost. On Thursday We Leave for Home takes place in 2021 and The Long Morrow takes place in 2027. In both of these cases, there is a specific point made on how rapidly Earth's technology has advanced since the colonists left in the late 20th century. One wonders how this is possible, considering the dismal state of civilization in the aftermath of the nuclear war (The Old Man in the Cave).
One possible explanation for this is the advanced alien technology left over in Peaceful Valley (Valley of the Shadow). Originally, the town was keeping their technology hidden out of fear of humanity using it for weapons of mass destruction. But having seen Earth go through a nuclear conflict, they can now feel confident that humanity has learned its lesson and is matured to the point of using the advanced technology properly. Thus, civilization fully recovered roughly around the year 2000.
A few episodes take place in the distant future beyond the 2020s. The Lonely takes place in the year 2046, at which point humans are using asteroids as penal colonies. The Rip Van Winkel Caper takes place in the year 2061, as four criminals put themselves in suspended animation since 1961. It's remarkable to think how much the world has changed since they fell asleep, as this is one of the most futuristic dates of any Twilight Zone episode. At this point, the human race is transitioning to a post-scarcity society as gold itself can be synthesized. Finally, the episode Elegy takes place in the year 2185, which mentions that even now civilization is still feeling the effects of the nuclear war.

Conformist Dystopia (date unknown)

There are a few other episodes that take place in some unspecified distant future, most likely further than any of the other episodes so far. When arranged in the right order, these episodes depict the gradual degeneration of humanity into a fascist dystopia obsessed with conformity, as the result of introducing a technology that can completely remodel or replace people's bodies.
This technology is first introduced in the episode The Trade-Ins. At this point, the process of replacing people's bodies are still voluntary and reversible. In fact, people have to pay an exorbitant amount of money for the privilege of getting remodeled. At some point later on, the technology becomes so widely ubiquitous that it no longer is an option, but mandatory (Number 12 Looks Just Like You). This episode and The Obsolete Man have an interesting relationship with each other, which suggests they may happen around the same era. In Number 12 Looks Just Like You, it is revealed that the remodeling process has a side-effect of removing people's empathy and individuality, which could explain the rise of fascism and public executions see in The Obsolete Man. Marilyn also mentions that her radical beliefs came as the result of reading "banned books" kept by her father, which is exactly the same reason why Romney Wordsworth was judged as obsolete.
The episode Eye of the Beholder also fits into this conformist dystopia very naturally. At this point, people have been using the body-replacement technology for so long (possibly centuries or millennia) that their very concept of what even is beauty has completely degenerated and warped. Of course, there is an alternate possibility that this episode takes place on another planet instead of the distant future, which would make it the only episode to never make reference to Earth at all.
As previously mentioned, I tend to assume that The Midnight Sun is the last chronological episode, as there is no way humanity would survive leaving the Sun's orbit. One could argue that it doesn't make sense for this episode to take place so far in the future, even later than Eye of the Beholder, as technology and society seems to have been completely restored to the way it was in the 1960s. But of course, we must remember that the majority of this episode is a fever dream, and we only see a brief glimpse at what the world looks like in the real world.

Other Observations

So much for all the episodes that I could fit into a single chronology. There are other episodes that are ambiguous on their time period, but nonetheless has some interesting implications if we assume they take place in the same universe:
The episode Mute says that all humans have an innate ability to be telepathic, but requires special training since infancy in order to use it. This could explain why Hector Poole randomly develops telepathic abilities in the episode Penny for your Thoughts: he accidentally unlocked his innate ability, with the upright penny acting as a kind of placebo. Unlike the other random superpowers, it is unlikely that the invisible Martians would have granted someone telepathy, because they would have immediately read the Martians' thoughts and reveal their existence.
In the episode A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain, it is revealed that Dr. Raymond Gordon has developed a serum that can reverse the aging process. This may be the same method that Charles Whitley used to reverse his aging, and the whole claim of "acting young" was a distraction (Kick the Can).
There are several episodes in which dreams have developed some kind of sentience on their own, and have some greater insight to the outside world. In almost all of these cases, these dreams have malicious intentions that deliberately tries to kill their host (Perchance to Dream, A Stop At Willoughby, Shadow Play, and Twenty-Two). This might be the result of some kind of trans-dimensional being that is able to enter people's minds for some reason. The Last Night of a Jockey also features a powerful being that lives in his head, which may be the same creature.
In the episode The Mind and the Matter, Archibald Beechcroft has developed a method of reshaping reality with his mind. Other episodes involve people being able to reshape reality at will, who may have stumbled across the same method (A World of His Own and It's a Good Life). While none of these episodes give a date, the sequel episode It's Still a Good Life says that it took place in 1963. I also put The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross in this same category, even though he technically doesn't have complete control over reality, his powers are so versatile he might as well be (able to exchange literally anything for anything). Again, these superpowers can't be explained by the same invisible Martians in Mr. Dingle, the Strong because reality control is simply too much for an alien to just hand out. There are a few other episodes that involve people having limited reality control, but they only ever end up making one wish with it (Four O'Clock, Sounds and Silences, and The Big Tall Wish). In terms of chronology, we know the last of these episodes must take place before 1968, since boxing with humans was made illegal (Steel).
In miscellaneous categories, there are two episodes that feature guardian angels (Cavender is Coming and Mr. Bevis). There are four episodes that feature the personification of death (One For the Angels, The Hitch-Hiker, Nothing in the Dark, and A Passage for Trumpet). There are five episodes that feature witches and sorcery (The Chaser, The Jungle, Jesse-Belle, The Bard, and The Masks). Aside from demons and angels, it seems that Rod Serling was rather reluctant to make use of any established mythological creatures, probably because they would be too distracting from the parable-like messages he was giving. The only exceptions to this are Santa Claus in Night of the Meek and Gremlins in Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.
By far and away, the biggest category of Twilight Zone episodes are those that feature karmic judgement from ghosts, a total of 21 episodes according to my count. Typically, these ghosts come back to seek punishment or justice against the person who did them wrong (Death's Head Revisited, The Thirty-Fathom Grave, Dead Man's Shoes, etc.). Sometimes they are just haunting images of a past trauma (Nightmare as a Child, The Arrival, or King Nine Will Not Return). But sometimes, the ghosts instead are coming back to give congratulations or some kind of catharsis (Changing of the Guard, The Trouble with Templeton, or The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine). Sometimes it's a case of the ghost themselves seeking catharsis (Night Call or Long Distance Call). And sometimes they are ghosts of famous historical figures with unfinished business (He's Alive, Showdown With Rance McGraw, or A Game of Pool).
submitted by Nathan1123 to TwilightZone [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 11:41 Antibot_One My Cyberpunk City Factions

Greetings again. My previous two posts about my world weren't particularly popular, but now I decided to continue the story anyway. Long story short: this is an alternate world that has deposits of metastable metallic hydrogen, concentrated at deep waters and in cold regions. Hydrogen, not oil, is the basis of the world's economy here, the corporations that have grown from its extraction and use have more power than governments. The political map of the world is different from our own, with different forces at play than we are used to.
The main setting is the city of Neone, located somewhere on the coast of the Balkan Peninsula. I won't specify a particular place or pick a certain country for its location. Instead, I will take some features from some various ones to add local flavor. As one of the largest trading hubs in the world, this city is very wealthy, but it's the kind of wealth that easily slips through your fingers. Everything is buying and selling here, and human life is just as much a bargaining chip. Life in Neone is determined by the actions that the Players, the main political forces in the city, take with one another. Relations between them can swing from friendship to hostility... Or sometimes a combination of both at the same time. So, here's a preliminary list of the ones I've already come up with:
CORPORATIONS:
Astara Industries is the “beauty industry” in all its forms. Silk and gold, perfume and cosmetics. Modeling, music, entertainment, plastic surgery, and escort services. Rumored to be involved in much darker affairs, but that doesn't stop a lot of young guys and especially girls from trying their luck and signing another cabal contract with Astara. The higher the ranks of their employees, the more the corporation seems to be a kind of cult that worships the very idea of beauty itself. Recently, this company has been investing colossal amounts of money into an ambitious project designed to stop aging and mortality.
Change Inc. is a pretty mysterious organization that primarily provides construction and design services as well as financial operations and data protection services. On deeper layers lies espionage and information trading to anyone who can offer a more interesting price for it.
Chapek's Clockworks is the other major robotics company that has dominated the market for quite a while. Now they are more famous for their retro designs and sponsorship of the theatrical scene.
Chimera Chemicals is a biochemical giant that once started out as a fertilizer manufacturer. Now they deal in just about everything chemical related, including weapons, and also sponsor gene modifications.
Dragonfruit Digital is a world famous software and electronics developer that was leading the market before the rapid... well, rise of Risen Robotics.
Friture Science is a food concern dedicated to the mission of feeding the world. In addition to natural products, they develop synthetic ones as well as a number of associated products.
Fortuna Fishing - seafood production in Neone coastal waters and also beyond and deeper. Some of the things they found deep in the waters made them a little bit... Well, superstitious.
Greenfield Gardens - Similar in many ways to the previous one, this company focuses on environmental protection and recycling methods. Owns many farms and gardens in the city and beyond. Genetic modifications, too.
Hecate Guaranty is a law and insurance company. Deals with all possible disputes of their clients, property issues, and more. When required and paid decently, can provide a person or group of people a new life and a new home.
International Inc. is the most boring company in the world. Originally a construction contractor they pioneered the technology of rapid modular building. Because of this, International Inc. quickly built up capital and influence by rebuilding cities after wars. Eventually they expanded into selling associated products and services, then logistics, recruiting personnel... And now International Inc. provides half of the world's products. Each of their products is completely featureless, but they get the job done at an acceptable price.
Keller & Crow is one of Europe's largest arms manufacturers, dating back to World War I, or maybe even earlier. Known for their high quality and appropriate prices.
Keller-Tec is, in more than one sense, a daughter corporation of Keller & Crow. It develops the most cutting-edge custom weapon and gear systems. It works closely with Risen Robotics and actively funds the Fountain of Good.
Kiki Courier Company is a network of independent couriers working through the app. Moving around the roofs of Neone, they are able to deliver a small cargo personally in their hands for those who don't trust big companies.
Matsubayashi Motors is a Japanese vehicle manufacturer. Raised on defense contracts, they now make anything that can carry a human in it, from scooters and cars to aircraft and bolides.
MOLOT manufactures is another major arms manufacturer in Europe. In fact a franchise that sells to factories around the world the rights to produce copies of their world famous models. Their designs are a bit crude, but reliable and durable.
Poseidon's Possibilities - A marine transportation company that plays an important role in city and global shipping. Considering the high risk of piracy, possess pretty good assets to protect themselves, and sometimes execute third-party orders in coastal zones.
Risen Robotics is one of the world's important corporations. Creating innovative neural chip technology, Risen Robotics quickly earned financial and political capital and aiming for more. They were the first to commercialize a truly cheap and mass-produced android called the Peacebringer, and these robots can be seen in the military, security companies, and even as security guards in the market and malls and as bouncers in nightclubs. Building its influence, Risen Robotics aims to actively bring its tech into the lives of everyone in the world... And then their gaze will be directed higher into the skies and to the stars.
Royal Arms - Once a major weapons company, they are now more focused on the civilian market and support tools. Their high-precision tools and cybernetic limbs are widely used in civilian and military markets, as well as the medicine and even space industries.
Strigoi Sovereign is a company with a long history of working with private customers. They originally focused on hunting and harvesting of high-value resources, but gradually expanded. Nowadays, they are known for their customized combat enhancements, whether it be tough training and gear customization as well as biological, chemical, and cybernetic enhancements. Among all forms of payment, they prefer transactions in precious metals.
Van Nueve Innovations is another deep genetic research company. After their role in human trafficking and criminal experiments was revealed, their assets were mostly shut and sold down. Now their stuff keeps popping up on the black market - though, in this city, the difference between the regular and black market is barely noticeable.
Vulcan Weaponry is another firearm company with a long history, with a good reputation for their trusted builds, high quality and classy designs. Among the mercenary world, their weapons and equipment is considered indicators of prestige and good taste.
PRIVATE MILITARY COMPANIES:
Deepwater is a notorious American PMC with a well-deserved dirty reputation. Their Sigma division deployed in Neone has been caught in the middle of scandals more than once.
FIREBIЯD - Russian PMC, looking after order in and around Neone. Having a small size they are all carefully selected by their leader and follow him into both fire and water.
Ryujin - Japanese PMC, which has a good social image and actively finances all kinds of entertainment.
Schwarzwald is a German PMC with a long-standing reputation and connections. It usually works for the benefit of Western European clients and has a long history of cooperation with the Keller family.
Keller's Claws is a passion project of Alex Keller, CEO of Keller-Tec. A small and elite female PMC, operating in the interests of their mistress or executing carefully selected contracts around the world.
This is not all PMCs in the city, but only those that are not directly linked to specific corporations that were listed above.
GANGS:
The Blazer is a broad and diverse group of radical anarchists. They are mostly drawn to the destruction of corporate property and speculation about “power of the people”, but some of their members are not averse to almost any type of work.
The Crooked Circle is another cult-like gang, or vice versa. They focus on collecting unique technology, but aren't particularly successful at it. But they're still alive and kicking, praying that their mechanical messiah will save them.
The Grey Court Syndicate is the largest criminal organization in the city, and one of the largest in Europe, maybe even in the entire world. Reminiscent of the classic Mafia. On one side they have the exterior gloss, protecting order and running legal businesses, but on the other side they have human and organ trafficking, prostitution and assassinations for hire. The Grey Court is one of the main sources of migrants in Neone.
The Himmelreich is a disorganized gang fighting for the “purity of humanity”. They oppose the very fact of existence of chimeras and cyborgs in this world. In fact are useful fools for the real Players in the city.
The Tulips are something between a gang and a religious sect. Spoken with Christian-like mottos, they attract beggars and cripples to their ranks, especially focusing on PMC veterans and former corporate workers, but in fact they accept all the desperate. They have squatted some ruins on the outskirts of the city, including the abandoned greenhouse that gave them their name. However... They are rapidly expanding their influence and their source of funding remains unknown.
OTHERS:
The City Council is the primary administration of the city. They manage, but they don't reign. They are a handful of exhausted clerks, doing the hard work that no one else accepted to do. Basically maintain the city's communications and keep the Players away from killing each other and too many ordinary citizens.
The Forge is a secret organization that exists for a very long time and runs deeply secured operations all over the world. They believe it's their duty to protect humanity from dangerous ideas, technologies, and obscure subjects such as [UNKNOWN]. Forge is often found to be a puppeteer, directing the actions of other Players or certain individuals.
The Fountain of Good is a globally respected charity organization primarily focused on orphanages. One of the few Players who maintains truly bright ideals. The children who grow up usually become corporate employees afterwards. Other Players fund them mainly to launder money, calm their karma and create a positive public image for themselves.
The Nuevians are a deep-covered organization slowly gaining influence in the city. They are led by an artificially created living entity known only as "The Queen" that seeks to bring prosperity to the planet. They have good intentions, but fear to repeat the fate of the Zero Cycle.
The Union of Nations Peacekeepers - maintaining a shred of peace in the aftermath of the Incident, a massive earthquake that recently struck Neone. Many urban areas have since descended into chaos and lawlessness, while others live as if nothing has happened or are experiencing minimal inconvenience. The competency of these soldiers is questionable and they are barely supplied.
The Volunteer Vanguards are an organization that maintains order in those Neone districts where the City Council or other Players do not. Generally a barely trained and armed militia, but there are some skilled veterans and former corporate workers in their ranks.
The Workers Ring is Neone's major blue collar association. They support city communications so they have a lot of influence. Individual members may or may not be involved in working for other Players and illegal activities. The second meaning of the "Ring" word is also utilized - many members of this community are known for their passion for arena fighting.
The Zero Cycle is a secret organization of intelligent machines once created by a rogue AI. Several Players united to destroy this threat, leading to the Incident. Now, shards of the Cycle's technology, superior to anything created by humanity, is the most valuable hunting treasure in Neone. Owning one of them means risking the lives of yourself and your loved ones, but that rarely stops hunters who desire wealth or driven by some personal reasons.
Well, that's the draft. Any ideas, suggestions, any other feedback?
submitted by Antibot_One to worldbuilding [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 11:14 Relevant-Shirt5847 Should I give my best friend a chance

Should I give my best friend a Chance?
I've read tons of these types of posts and even heard some of them on tik-tok but this is my first time I've ever made a post like this. I figured I'd give this a chance. I 20F have been best friends with the same person 20M (Lets call him Charlie) since kindergarten. Charlie used to be the boy who would follow me around the school yard like a lost puppy or in class pull my red hair out of their pigtails right up until 6th grade when we went to different middle schools he was my friend though. We were both crushed but when we both went to the same high-school by chance once again we were inseparable. We graduated together and have spent every day hanging out since then. His parents call me daughter as my mom calls him son. Here comes the problem. A couple weekends ago there was a birthday party for one of his younger cousins I was asked to come along so I decided to. His older cousin Let's call her Ana cornered me and said "girl talk" she pointed out that Charlie has had a crush on me for the longest time and did make good points by using her own marriage by saying shemarried her best friend. How he's saved her from countless problems and messy relationships. How her husband has protected her and she him no matter what. Charlie has saved me from tons of sticky situations and has my back whenever I need him. He's helped me deal with the men who have harmed me and taken a stand for me when I couldn't. However I see him as a brother. His cousin said despite that I could always take a chance and give him a shot. He's my oldest and closest friend. I don't want to destroy this friendship that's lasted half a lifetime but I need more advice. Please tell me what you think honestly
submitted by Relevant-Shirt5847 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 10:24 Relevant-Shirt5847 Should I give my best friend a Chance?

I've read tons of these types of posts and even heard some of them on tik-tok but this is my first time I've ever made a post like this. I figured I'd give this a chance. I 20F have been best friends with the same person 20M (Lets call him Charlie) since kindergarten. Charlie used to be the boy who would follow me around the school yard like a lost puppy or in class pull my red hair out of their pigtails right up until 6th grade when we went to different middle schools he was my friend though. We were both crushed but when we both went to the same high-school by chance once again we were inseparable. We graduated together and have spent every day hanging out since then. His parents call me daughter as my mom calls him son. Here comes the problem. A couple weekends ago there was a birthday party for one of his younger cousins I was asked to come along so I decided to. His older cousin Let's call her Ana cornered me and said "girl talk" she pointed out that Charlie has had a crush on me for the longest time and did make good points by using her own marriage by saying shemarried her best friend. How he's saved her from countless problems and messy relationships. How her husband has protected her and she him no matter what. Charlie has saved me from tons of sticky situations and has my back whenever I need him. He's helped me deal with the men who have harmed me and taken a stand for me when I couldn't. However I see him as a brother. His cousin said despite that I could always take a chance and give him a shot. He's my oldest and closest friend. I don't want to destroy this friendship that's lasted half a lifetime but I need more advice. Please tell me what you think
submitted by Relevant-Shirt5847 to AITAH [link] [comments]


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