parents divorce
So growing up my parents would argue a lot and fight about money, etc. We also moved a lot across the country, mostly my dad would get laid off his job and then my mom would find a job where he moved to (different provinces). Then when I was 12, they were stable enough and bought a house. Then after two years he ended up getting laid off his role. I was just starting high school. Then he found a job in another province, he moved and my mom decided not to. I went to school and we barely talked. Our relationship was always not good tbh, but at that point I grew up. Then he got laid off again when I was 15, came back to live here. He would work odd jobs but at least tell us all he is making no money. I started working part-time and summer jobs. Then I got a full ride scholarship for university in another city. So I moved out, I would come back in the summer. Again, my parents would argue all the time, he would never pay for me or my brothers stuff. My brother also got a full ride in another province so we both were gone. Even moving and doing everything, my mom, brother and I did it alone. He had extra bed frames that I took and he secretly tried to charge my mom extra electricity fee cuz the bed frames I took cost $200.
Last summer I was working full time and a part time job. I had asked my mom if I should buy my own groceries but she told me absolutely not, she is happy to provide food. Anyways, my parents decided to split groceries while I was living there. One day after work I was eating chips (also keep in mind I’m 90 pounds 5’5 so tiny) and he snatched them out of my hand, telling me to stop eating and using up all the food. I then told him I’m happy to give him $5 for the chips but I’m really hungry and haven’t ate all day cuz work was so busy. Then he was like “if you know how expensive everything is then why are you going back on a trip to India.”I then said I haven’t seen my grandparents since I was 12 and I’m now 21 so it’s important to see them as they are old. He said it doesn’t matter. Which is when I cried and called my mom. Also just saying but I/my mom can financially afford the trip, he just can’t cuz he doesn’t work.
Anyways, my mom decided that she was sick of this and wants a divorce. But she had a big family trip to India (not including him) planned end of year. I moved out again for my final year of uni. She told him officially in January that she wants a divorce. He proceeded to bully her, called her dad in India everyday, had his family FaceTime me and my brother accusing us that we are causing a divorce, would constantly text me and my brother. Because I’m looking for jobs (post grad) and didn’t want to pay rent, I moved back in this past month.
My mom is tryna settle the divorce. But he is awful, because he doesn’t have a job still (keep in mind I graduated high school & university, worked all the summers while he is unemployed). He asked my brother to co-sign for a place or he won’t leave or sign the papers. He has no friends or anyone who would help him out. What do we do?? My mom can’t afford all the legal fees to fight and because he doesn’t have a job, he will get one for free I think. My mom and him own their house so 50/50. I really need guidance. He is evil, narcissistic and a horrible person. Legally how to go through this?

There is no sex in this episode, and it is more of a filler episode as to what is to be seen. Next week's episode is definitely going to be worth the wait! All characters are 18+
There was no way for me to take my mind off what Alexa and I had talked about before I went and slept with Luca. Sure, in the moment, it was enough to fog my thoughts and fill them with lustful desire, but it didn’t erase the fact that I was going to be dad, and somehow, I had to tell Luca and Travis. We are not all exclusive to one another, but I hope they will say to me if we are in the same shoes. I’m going to be telling them tonight.
I didn’t know how to go about it. Hey, so you know how I was straight before, like a month ago? Yeah? My ex-girlfriend just told me I’m going to be a dad, I thought to myself, but it sounded stupid in my head, and more than likely would sound stupid aloud.
“They’re going to kill me,” I sighed, tossing on my shirt and slumped down on my bed.
“Who’s going to kill you?” my roommate asked. I had forgotten that he was here; he never really said anything. “Your boyfriends?”
“They are not my boyfriends,” I scoffed. “But yes, Luca and Travis.”
“For what?”
“My ex is pregnant and is claiming I’m her baby daddy,” I exclaimed.
“They are so going to kill you,” he laughed at me. “Those boys are like lowkey obsessed with you, you must fuck them real good if they keep coming back.”
My face reddened at his comment, and I didn’t want to admit the truth, so I just went with it. “Not helpful, and I know,” a slight smirk spread across my cheeks. “I just have to sit them down and tell them it doesn’t change anything, I don’t even know if I’m the father, it has been nearly a month since I last slept with Alexa, and the idea now seems even grosser than it was in those moments before Luca and Travis.
“I’ll start planning your funeral,” he said, giving me side-eye and pulling out his notebook. So, who do you want to speak about? Travis and Luca are clearly off the board now.”
“Bro, just stop,” I huffed. “They’re just going to need to understand.” For a long time I was that straight boy, the one that craved the touch of women, to feel their delicate skin, and no inclination of doing anything with my butt. Alexa is the one that changed me, which I think is for the better, but it was her fault; she was the one that left, and she was the one that did this to me. “Any tips?”
“Just rip it off like a bandaid, and then offer them your cock,” he shrugged. “Bro, you must be so lucky; I’d kill to have two chicks go down on me.” I wanted to laugh and tell him the truth because he was stereotyping my position based on the fact that I’m a jock and Luca and Travis are nerds. But I also didn’t want to make it weird. I know he would have if he had known that I was the one getting filled by both of them regularly.
“It’s nice to be able to get some whenever I want, and threesomes are easy to arrange,” I chuckled. “Well, when you’re not here.”
“Fuck, bro my room sees more action than I do,” he groaned. “If they care about you, it won’t matter, man, but I do recommend getting a paternity test done as soon as you can.”
“I was thinking about that,” I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. “Do you think I might not be the dad?”
“Dude, you’ve been fucking with Luca and Travis for what? Like a month now? And she left you high and dry like six weeks ago. Don’t you think it’s possible she was screwing with someone else?” He spelled out for me his doubts and created even more doubts within me. Alexa wouldn’t do that . . . I also told her not to touch my butt. . . and she did it anyways . . . maybe to expose me to anal bliss . . . to justify her leaving me for her side piece, I wondered, did she even have a side piece? None of it made sense to me. “If I were you, I’d be demanding that paternity test and bounce when you find out it’s not yours. Don’t let that bitch ruin what you have.”
“How did you become so wise, Camden?” I asked, feeling as if some weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
“To be honest, I’ve been jealous of you with those boys. They remind me of the boy I was once more than just friends with,” Camden divulged, “my father is also a lawyer–”
“Wait, a damn minute,” I interjected. “You’ve had a boyfriend before, I thought you said you were not into that gay shit.”
“Maybe I was just trying to hide it; I haven’t thought about him in a long time. Two summers ago, I started to secretly see my best friend's younger brother after he got outed by my best friend,” Camden told me. “High school romance is not bound to last. College is where you make those friendships that never end.”
“It sounds like you have a wonderful best friend,” I laughed. “Are they just not compatible? Or too complicated?”
“Dating your parent's best friend's son is always complicated, especially when you spend nearly every summer together,” Camden chuckled. “It was just too complicated, and we ended things before anyone found out.”
“Dude, I want to know more. But I really need–”
“To go tell that bitch, you want a paternity test, and tell Luca and Travis you might be a Dad in nine months?” he furrowed his brow. “Text them, text them now.”
Nathan: Alexa, I've been thinking, and I want a paternity test.
Alexa: Wow didn't sleep with anyone besides you, you're the slut, but whatever.
Group Chat Travis 🎮🍆 & Luca 📓🍆
Nathan: Guys, we need to talk ASAP, in person.
Luca: I didn't have Travis's #, everything good Nate?
Travis: He probably wants some dick, Luca gonna get mine too, I wanna run a train.
Luca: I'm not a bottom Trav, you won't fit . . .
Nathan: I mean, I'm down, but we need to talk first.
“Do you mind giving me the room for a bit, they’re on their way over,” I told him, “and Alexa is being a cunt about it, but said fine.”
“Dude, I just admitted so much shit to you, it’s the least I could do,” Camden smiled. “Unless you wouldn’t be opposed to sharing those boys with me.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Hi Morgan, Longtime listener, first time writing in. My best friend and I are having trouble figuring out the right thing to do in this situation and wanted to get an outside perspective. Buckle up because this is a LONG one because theres a lot of backstory that’s necessary.
Would we be the assholes if we didn’t attend our childhood best friends wedding?
There is a lot of context in this storyline so I’ll try to give a lot of detail. We start in January of 2023, my best friend, Greta(26F) and I(26F) get in contact with one of our childhood best friends, Laura (26F), and plan a visit to catch up on the past 10ish years that we’ve been apart. Laura moved away from our hometown when we were 15. Now Greta and I live about 2 hours from where Laura moved to when we were young, so we reached out and invited her and her fiancé Logan(26M) up to stay with us and hang out.
They come visit, we have such a great time, her fiancé was pretty quiet and distant the whole time, but the 3 of us together were big talkers so I just chalked it up to him not being able to get a word in and they left. In March they came back to visit again and announced to us that they were moving a few states away. We were really sad, but happy for them since they were getting to move somewhere that they’d wanted to be for a while. They were going to elope together after a few months but Logan had a university study abroad for a month in Japan so they were going to wait until after.
So, he leaves for Japan in May, and while he is away a girl reaches out to Laura from the college that Logan attends. This girl tells Laura that her friend had been getting really close with Logan, uncomfortably so and she wanted to give Laura a heads up that she thought they were romantically involved. Greta and I were worried but Laura brushed it off and said it was probably nothing, so Greta and I dropped it because we didn’t feel close enough to Laura to tell her we felt like she should look into it more.
Flash forward 2 weeks into Logan’s study abroad, he calls Laura at 5AM to let her know that he doesn’t think he wants to get married anymore. She’s distraught but has to go into work that morning and calls us after to let us know. We support her, you know he fucking sucks for doing that not only over the phone but right before she went into work, real shady. Greta and I are very worried about Laura because Laura really wants to make it work, but we still don’t say anything because we just want to be there for her.
He gets back and agrees to go to couples counseling, they do couples counseling for 2 weeks, during this time he repairs her car. Replaces a tire, breaks, oil change, the works, he’s been working with cars for a long time, so this was no biggie. Well after that two weeks, Laura comes home to all of Logan’s stuff packed and he tells her it’s over and he’s moving back home. He leaves. She’s devastated. We comfort her, come up and visit her, and tell her that she doesn’t need him and she slowly starts getting over him. Meanwhile she gives us A TON of context about her relationship with Logan. She paid for his college, he has had no job for the past 2 years while getting his degree, so she had been financially supporting them both. She paid for his trip to Japan, he put her in 20K of credit card debt, and more in personal loans, etc. Then in couples therapy told her he wasn’t attracted to her because she made money and he didn’t (so weird).
So immediately Greta and I are like, “Girl, we had a bad feeling, we wanted to tell you but didn’t want to upset you, we’re just glad you’re finally out of that mess”. She tells us that next time we should come to her and be honest with her, we apologize and agree. Then one day Laura calls us to tell us that she almost got into a really bad car accident. She lives in a mountainous area and her breaks went out on her when she was driving on the interstate on a hill, she managed to pull of into a grass median and slow the car down.
She gets the car towed to a mechanic that night and heads to work the next morning. Mechanic calls her midday. He asks he who worked on her car last, she said “My ex” and he said “Is he still in your life?” she said no. And he said “Good, Because I’ve never seen anything like this in my 20 years as a mechanic.” Her brake fluid hadn’t been connected so all the break fluid drained out. Her brake pads weren’t fastened/screwed in to the wheels, the were just placed in there. And he back tire bolts were stripped so hard that he said he tire probably would’ve come off had she kept driving.
Later that week, Logan asks to talk to her, she agrees only to get closure on the situation. Well he calls and begs her to get back together, she says no absolutely not. Then he asks” How’s the car?” She said, “Well I almost died last week”, he immediately jumped to the defensive “Well, that had nothing to do with me, I didn’t do anything” a very guilty response, so we were all convinced he tried to kill her. She filed a police report on him and started moving on. This is in July.
Now we move into part two of this debacle. My partner and I go up to visit her in September and she’s doing well on her own, she’s having fun, dating around, putting herself first, in therapy, just doing really well, were happy for her. She hasn’t really made any friends which is making her lonely but we were telling her to get involved in clubs and meet people, etc.
We leave our trip which was really fun and head back home. 2 weeks later, Laura says she’s met this really great guy, its almost October at this point, she’s gone on multiple dates with him and really likes him, were happy for her, still a bit concerned, but if she’s happy we’re happy. So Laura, Greta, and I plan a girls trip to come up and visit Laura for a long weekend. Laura wants us to vet this new guy, make sure he’s a good dude. She tells us she really values our input and so Greta and I are so excited to go on this trip with an open mind. November rolls around, one month before our trip and Laura announces that the new guy, we’ll call him Will (29M) has moved in with her, bringing his dog with him. Greta and I are a bit shocked but we didn’t say anything bc we’ve both done stuff like that before and Laura was struggling to keep up with rent on her own (she was still in the house that her ex fiancé left her in) so we knew she could use a roommate.
December is finally here and Greta and I hop on a plane and Will and Laura pick us up from the airport, first impression in the car was fine, he seemed nice, he drove us back to their place and we walk into the house. I come face to face with a completely different living room than I saw in September, all of Laura’s art and stuff are moved out of the living room replaced with the following: a giant poster of Elon Musk smoking a joint, a poster model of a rocket, a poster of Jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun. And a bookshelf full of Will’s books and Lego sets on display. Alarm bells are going off in my head and Greta’s at this point. We have a little conversation and because it’s late, we go to bed. We sleep in a room that outside of the house in the backyard, it has full heating so its basically just like a bedroom with a deadbolt. I double lock the dead bolts and we go to bed.
At 3am I’m woken up by Greta shaking me in a panic, asking me if I remembered to double deadbolt the door, I told her I did and that were okay and we both went back to sleep. When we woke up the next day, and she told me she had a weird feeling that he was gonna come in our room in the night. I agreed, and told her that was why I double dead bolted the door.
We go through our girls trip which ended up not being a girls trip at all, Will was by our side the entire time. Laura and he talked about looking at ENGAGEMENT RINGS, they bought a ring sizer, she was picking out her faves. He never let us have girl time except for one hour trip we took downtown to window shop. He would come sit in Greta and my room when we were talking with Laura, he would watch movies with us, he went everywhere with us. Not only that but in the middle of conversations, he would pull out his guitar and just start playing in the middle of us talking, or when we sat down to watch a movie. There is one bathroom in the house, and the main house part is very small about 650 square feet, my friend Greta has bathroom anxiety, she doesn’t like to poop in public places so she asked Laura and I if we would grab Will and the dog, and just go for a quick walk around the block while she used the bathroom. It was no biggie, so we got ready and went on a walk, we got 20 feet out the door and Will starts griping about how he doesn’t want to be outside and that Greta is a selfish pooper, and continues to complain the entire time were outside. We don’t even go for a walk, we stop at the corner of the street and just stand there because he doesn’t want to go any further.
At this point I’m annoyed with this guy, he just seems really controlling. To add to it, he didn’t want to go for a hike in the mountains, so Laura didn’t want to go so we ended up spending the entire weekend inside their house basically, even though we were in a beautiful area, and hiking is a group favorite, because he didn’t want to go. We didn’t. Also this is a personal anger of mine but I bought a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts (they were $18, which is crazy) and he ate EIGHT OF THEM. it pissed me off so bad, I had to hide the box that night just so I had 1 donut left over in the morning. Anyway onto the big finale.
Our last night there we finished up watching a movie and the events that unfold all happen within 3 minutes, keep that in mind. Laura had taken an edible so she was pretty out of it, like laying on top of the dog, whispering, just all around sounding really tired. Will says hes gonna take her to bed and Greta and I say were gonna get ready for bed in the bathroom. Bedroom and bathroom are five steps fro each other. I brush my teeth and use the bathroom while Greta is brushing hers and then I walk out of the bathroom and tell Greta that I’m grabbing my stuff to head over to our outside bedroom. I grab my bag from the kitchen counter, which is right next to their bedroom door. The bedroom door is open so I say goodnight to both of them and tell Greta I’ll see her in a sec, she’s just finishing up. Maybe 45 seconds pass and I’m waiting in our bedroom when I get 3 texts from Greta “OH MY GOD” “HELP” “HOLY SHIT”, Greta comes running out of the house, slamming the back door, and I run up to her.
She tells me that they were loudly having sex in their bedroom with the door open, mind you the bathroom is 5 steps from the bedroom. the kitchen counter is right next to the bedroom and Greta had to walk over to it to grab her stuff.
We are freaked the fuck out at this point not only was it super disrespectful but Greta was super affected by it, which who wouldn’t be it was disturbing. Because mere moments before Laura went to bed she was so high. And I smoke regularly so I know what it looks like when someone is super high and I hadn’t gotten that high in a long time. She was very out of it. So this really bothered us both.
The next day, were ready to go home, we get to the airport where they drop us off and once the two of us are in the airport we both look at each other and both just say “that was horrible”, we both felt like the entire trip we had a bad feeling about him and didn’t want to ruin the vibes of the trip so we just didn’t say anything about it. So were sitting in the terminal writing down a list of all the red flags, all the instances where he gave us a bad feeling. And overall just as a person he gave us a really bad feeling. Just gross, nasty, icky feeling. Not sure how to describe it well but I just knew something was off and Greta said she felt the same.
Laura had asked us to give our opinion on what we thought of him so we drafted up a letter to her, with key moments and points that we felt were big signs that he may not be a good guy. It includes everything we went over in this story, I didn’t want to supply to much of our opinion on the situation but I know that my bias comes out in this story a bit.
We wrote to her, and she responded to us with basically “I appreciate your concern, I will take your opinions into consideration” Its worth it to note that they were talking about getting engaged in March of 2024 (It is Early December 2023 at this point) and in our letter we told her that she should give their relationship more time, and get to know him better before they get engaged.
Our relationship with her after that became very one sided, Greta and I tried our best to keep messaging her but she really never responded so we kind of gave up. End of January we get a text from her, a picture of her and him she has an engagement ring on, “We’re engaged!” Greta and I respond with a Congrats! and a heart emoji, we’re super concerned but we have genuinely said all we can in that letter a little over a month before, so It didn’t feel right to say it again.
March she posts her “I said yes to the dress post” with Wills mom and his two sisters. She still doesn’t have any friends up where she lives so it makes sense for her to bring his family along. She didn’t message us about it, which is fair because we hadn’t been talking. We just thought they were getting eloped, because Greta has always said she wanted something small since she isn’t super close with her family (they’re not great).
So we left it there until last week I received an invitation in the mail to their wedding. Its this September on a Monday night.
Greta and I would have to pay around $500 each in order to even go to the wedding, calculating in airfare, shared rental car, shared hotel room, and that doesn’t even include, food, gas, wedding gift, etc. The two of us are not well of financially, we both live paycheck to paycheck so it would be really hard for us to go in general not to mention that the wedding is on a Monday night, so I have to take off extra days of work that I really don’t have. Same with my best friend, were in the same industry so wen have the same days off and all of that.
And I know it took us a while to get here but would we be the assholes if we decided not to attend her wedding?
TLDR: Best friend’s ex fiance tries to kill her in past relationship, she moves on two months later, her new partner moves in with her 3 weeks after dating. We go visit her and meet him, he’s go a lot of red flags, we tell our best friend, she distances herself and gets engaged weeks later. Invites us to her wedding in September that is also on a Monday. AWTA?

Don't get me wrong. Pay is great, work is steady depending on where you work in the facilities, breaks are nice (again depending where you work, i hear horror stories from the cashiers), and generally? not a terrible vibe on third shift which is a god-send from the normal rabble.
What makes the job awful, much like any location, is the management. We've got several managers, much like any store, and of course they have their "favorites" who get away with everything barring murder. Some that walk around doing nothing all day, some that just sit in the wrong departments chatting, leaving the customers without help, some that ignore the customers asking for assistance as a whole, even a few that due the famous "U-turn" where they go back and forth from the bathroom and breakroom all night before clocking out. Everything we say about these individuals; in one ear, out the other. whether it's to HR, CXM, mod, directly to the individual in question or the boss of the store. Due to the crazy loops and mountain of paper-trailing required, the damage is already heavily implemented before anything can be freaking done about them, making the job twenty times harder than it needs to be.
Then you got the workers who bust their butt to make ends meet getting treated worse than the dirt you stand on because of these headaches. This goes on for every shift, but i need to focus on my own experiences through the third shift stress and tension as it has been getting extremely volatile. Between the problems above and a hard-headed manager interested in rushing to complete tasks over the safety of the worker, and the lack of stable workers since only 3 of us are full time + 2 part timers who do, essentially, full time hours, the strain on the night crew is insane. What sent me over the edge though wasn't the work.. oh no. I can handle the work load because whatever we don't get done is still there the next night. It's not hard to pick up where we left off and by the end of the week 99% of the time everything is done.
Below in the spoiler will be a pretty hefty rant of my experience involving what finally made me register my hard work means nothing. That we're simply replaceable fodder, and that our safety, no matter how much they plaster it as their priority, means nothing.

Back in January the area i live in experienced a pretty big storm. Didn't think much of it at the time, i've ridden my E-bike (my only source of transport) in storms before, even in the snow! But, unlike usual this storm had caused flash flooding. I had reached a particular point in the ride where I couldn't progress. The roads that legally allowed my bike to travel out of where I live had become flooded by nearly 6 inches of high speed water, with spots going as deep as a foot and more due to road conditions. Roads surrounding my route were also being slowly closed off as the storm continued and ubers were cancelling in the area (or outright rejecting rides due to the dangerous conditions.), making it progressively harder to get around. It was 10 minutes til work, and i still had 20 minutes to ride, and a 15 minute ride back home if something went wrong.
I pulled over at this intersection that was flooded and checked the news for the area. Local news networks labeled it a "local emergency", so i called it in, told my boss at night i wouldn't be able to make it due to the unsafe driving conditions and progressively worsening weather closing down major roads. He 'understood', told me it would not effect my points as it was a weather situation, and that several others were calling for similar problems. I returned home now soaked and the bike had to be carefully serviced to avoid any lasting damage from the heavy storm. Not a huge issue but annoying none the less.
Fast forward two weeks and i get brought into the office where the CXM and my boss are... and asked the famous line. "Do you know why you're back here?"
I truly had no idea, so i joked it off, I had won a recent raffle for 3 board-games, so I made the comment it was because I hadn't brought those home yet.
The CXM smiled, then said it was because i had received my 4th point for calling out without sick time. Now, mind you, I have no idea what's going on at this point. I knew i had missed 3 days (once in September, 2 times in october from bike issues leaving me on the road without a way in due to the battery dying.). So i asked where this 4th point was coming from. He mentions the day of the flood, my boss, who is keeping his mouth shut, looks away from me when he says this. At this point I sit down, rather miffed at this point because i was assured that it was okay due to it being a safety concern, and that others were calling out with similar issues without a problem.
I'm stunned at this point. Taking a seat at the wall, the night assistant manager closes the door behind me and the cxm begins to lay into me the normal spiel, about how they expect all workers to be punctual and that this was a writeup, and how i "needed to understand what was being said". The whole time he's smiling, I wasn't. I told him what I was told on the phone, that I was cleared due to the weather conditions and that a point wasn't on my record the last time i checked (which i was checking regularly the first week because i truly expected something like this to happen, and stopped checking 4 days prior to the meeting. This happened 2 weeks later on a Wednesday.) -The cxm says it doesn't matter what i'm told on the phone. And that I should have called an uber. -I told him that ubers were cancelling rides due to the roads closing. -He tells me to order a taxi instead then. Now. I'm getting riled up at this point. My leg it tapping, i'm clearly not happy, and the way the cxm is talking to me is actively pushing for a response like this as he continues to smile and REPEATS "do you understand why you're getting this write-up" over, and over, and over again. -The night shift boss is still not making eye contact with me. -So, I stare straight at the cxm and respond to his question. "I understand that I have 3 points, but the 4th point I do not agree with. I was told that I was okay, and that the local news had declared it an emergency. I do not agree with that fourth point." -They both look at me, and I continue to look directly at the cxm. I'm still pretty relaxed at this point even if i'm agitated mentally and tapping my foot. I just want to get back to work at this point because I know the cxm is on a power-trip based on his body language and how much he's smiling. However, it really shown when that smile went away at me saying that comment. The cxm folded his hands, his smile gone and said "look, you want me to be blunt? I don't care what you agree with, you just need to understand you're being written up for 4 points of missed work. I can't let you leave until you agree."
THAT shifted my whole mood. I went from calm, to alert. My foot stopped tapping, I sat back in the chair and I was glaring at the cxm at this point. I was LIVID. The night manager STILL wouldn't look at me, instead he was watching the cxm. So i stayed focused on him as well. I folded my arms, and gave my full attention to him.
He repeated "Do you understand why you're being given this formal write-up?" again, and I, again, said I didn't agree with it. He AGAIN said he didn't care what I agreed or thought was right. and he just needed me to agree with it. So. I said what he wanted me to say. "I understand i'm being written up for a point I don't agree with"
As if MOCKING me, he again repeats "do you understand you can't keep missing days like this?"
I stayed DEAD SILENT at this point, and he leaned forward and looked at me with a big ol' smile. and told me to "stop staring at me with that death-glare, it's not working on me, buddy"
I was fuming. I was NOT going to be treated like a tool like that for taking my own safety into consideration during a local emergency for the job to tell me I was still in the wrong TWO WEEKS AFTER the event happened.
I was forced to agree, because I was sick and tired of staring at him and getting nowhere. So i repeated the comment like a good little drone and left. God i wish i knew i could have commented in that signing page that i signed under protest, course I was so pissed off i doubt i'd have even realized where to write it if i had known. I signed the "admission of guilt" crap, and immediately went to speak to the main boss of the store. Took two more weeks to get ahold of him, and he agreed it sounded very unusual. Main boss went to HR with clarification on how to handle it because even he wasn't too sure on it.
Two weeks after that, i touched base with the main boss. AND HE AGREED THAT I HAD NOT DESERVED THAT POINT OR THE WRITEUP. HR had come back to him about it coming down to the manager who handles the call-out (in my case the night shift boss), and a second manager who confirms the callout. My only assumption is that my boss agreed and acknowledged it as a weather related incident, and the second manager, the cxm in this case, decided to over-rule that decision.
Every other manager I spoke to thought that point was bogus. THE MAIN BOSS said it was bogus, and HR agreed that it was a case-to-case issue due to their system not having anything concrete for localized weather emergencies (they only have it for snow/ice, and state emergencies.) but even our HR contact agreed that safety takes priority! So here I am, 3 months into this crap I didn't even deserve, all because this dude decided to swing his big-boy stick. Taking the proper channels to have it addressed, complaint sent in about the manager in question, and trying to do things by the book did nothing but hit me with a "well you didn't act fast enough so we can't fix it" response, because it took over a month to get it processed. On the plus side, since I explained the entire incident to the main boss of the store (including the response from the manager who was handling the write-up), He gave me his direct line and told me that if i EVER got caught in a major storm like that to let him know, and he'd be sure to clear the incident himself. So while it happened, the store boss pulled through and assured me it won't happen again since it was a situational decision based on whoever got the call-out to handle. The problem is that the one who made this a problem in the first place is still in a position to do said problem. And that, unfortunately, I am unable to address directly like this. It was untouched for almost 2 weeks, sent in as a point right at the end of the 2 week "edit" period, and then I'm written up a week after that, ensuring I had no way to fight it. This was, in all purposes, an abuse of power. But, i'm a drone. I'm only as strong as the voice of the rest of this cacophony, and that's why they keep everyone at eachothers' throats.

Like I said. It's a rant, so only pop it open if you want to see what triggered this message to begin with. It's the biggest frustration I've had in the many years working here that firmly got under my skin due to the way it was handled and how long it took to get properly addressed, for no other reason than to tell me it was too late to do anything about it. We're just numbers in this machine, readily replaceable and easily used to kick around in the name of "fun" for those in a position of power. Where the rules and regulations are waived so long as you're buddies with the other management, and those working hard and keeping to themselves are an easy source to dump the blame and pressure or exercise someone's "authority".

I am conflicted about posting this but the people I’ve told are split between my actions being justified or not. I am friends with this person again after a while of both of us processing and I just am not sure how we are supposed to rebuild our friendship when I still kind of feel like I didn’t get the apology I deserve. I get you can’t apologize for shit you don’t remember and I probably just need to let it go, but some opinions would be nice.
My friend Erin (20sF) and I (20sf) have been friends for a decade now, so since we were kids. In high school she got into drugs and alcohol and although I did too she got pretty carried away and was regularly super fucked up and I was often the one looking out for hemaking sure she didn’t embarrass herself (more) etc. we were kids I don’t have any resentment towards her and can honestly say after a big internal transformation I don’t have any judgments about her relationship with alcohol or drugs either.
So she would get carried away and due to personal history I would go NC with her until she got sober, this happened several times, like 5 or 6 now. We’d go one year off, run into each other somewhere, reconnect for a year or so and then shit would happen and so forth. You get it. The times that we are close are so much fun, but not just like party fun we just understand each other like nobody else and are completely comfortable and yeah. She’s like my sister more than my friend.
This is already getting long but basically my partner and I were invited to have a booth at a festival and my partner hired her to help me run it for 3 hours while he was at another job. An important part of this story is that I was pregnant at the time, early in my second trimester.
Long story short she got super fucked up. She knows I generally prefer that she doesn’t drink with me but she asked me if she could try some of the booze my husband made and I said go for it because I didn’t want to be a buzzkill and also like I don’t really give a shit if people drink it’s just lame behavior that follows. I didn’t know this was going to mean she’d be refilling her glass until she was hammered. There were also psychedelics involved and later without my knowledge powered substances.
So we are working and trying to make sales and I shit you not she’s scaring people away! Talking about how fucked up she was to people when this was not that kind of event at all. Festival isn’t exactly the right world. I was annoyed but hanging in there and enjoying other company and the music.
At some point she starts doing the weird drunk girl thing talking about how much she loves me, I’m her best friend, meanwhile she’s touching me like groping my boobs saying they look so good (bigger because I’m pregnant ) and pinching my thighs which was super pissing me off and hurt. I tried to be nice and tell her I love her too but to keep her hands to herself. Then she’s going on about how she loves me and because she’s my friend she thinks it’s important to tell me I’m pretty rough around the edges and hard to get along with. Saying I’m just not very fun and oh what a bummer I couldn’t take any drugs or drink with her because I’m pregnant. Literally saying “oh yeah it’s great and all that you’re pregnant but I just wish you could get on my level and have some fun because you just seem really…” and then making this grimace at me. Apologizing that I had to be sober even though I kept telling her I was enjoying myself and the only reason I seem like I’m not is because she’s bothering me and I’m super happy to be pregnant and don’t feel like I’m missing out at all.
This went on for about two hours before my partner arrived and I was able to tell her to please go elsewhere and check out the venue. She insisted she wanted to stay with me and I said ok cool then stop picking on me and touching me. A couple of her friends arrived and offered to walk around with her so I could have a break. They came back a couple hours later and said I’m so sorry I didn’t know she was gonna get this fucked yo I can’t watch her anymore and dropped her back off with us. It was humiliating especially because this was one of the first gigs my husband got for our business.
After our friends spend the rest of the night taking turns watching her and essentially babysitting her, (taking turns because she was trauma dumping on them about some really heavy and triggering shit) I decide to head to the tent to get some rest.
Erin and I set I up a one person tent together anticipating that I would probably be the only one sleeping and she was gonna stay up but sleep as needed. We brought two blankets, one to lay one and one to cover us. Her and I don’t mind cuddling as we have before hence the one person tent.
Right as I was falling asleep, here Erin comes stumbling out of the darkness covered in mud and soaking wet. I was super pissed off but grateful she as coming to call it a night and hopefully fuckin chill lol.
So I hand her one of the two blankets and her pajamas and tell her to change into dry clothes before she comes in. At first she says okay but then she starts insisting that she can’t change there and she needs to come in the tent. It’s a small tent. Just tall enough to sit up in and probably about the width of a twin mattress. It’s cold as shit, she’s literally wet and muddy, and we now have one clean dry blanket. I said no change outside and then come in. She argued and argued still super drunk be I felt myself becoming really angry.
Also, her arguing was her saying things like “no fuck you shut the fuck up I’m coming in the tent you’re being a fucking bitch” etc.
She said she was coming in, I said for probably like the tenth time just change your fucking clothes and then come in, she started to unzip the tent and I said
“Erin if you come in this tent right now I’m going to punch you in the face.”
She said, “do it I know you’ve always wanted to”
And starts crawling in. The tent was so small I didn’t have to do anything but swing my arm and I punched her around the nose.
It’s important for me to say at this point, I’d felt violated and disrespected by her ALL night (and a lot of times prior in our friendship but she’d never been so physical with me.) She was not honoring my emotional or more importantly my physical boundaries, and I straight up felt abused. She disrespected my partner by being not only entirely unhelpful but also driving people away with her belligerence, and now in top of all that she had woken me up and threatened to come into the tent and therefore get me wet and cold and in my mind it felt like by threatening my physical well being and triggering so much cortisol she was harming my unborn baby.
So although I feel bad for punching her, I truly felt after MANY attempts to get her to respect my pregnant body and sensitive emotional state, very threatened and like I had no other choice to keep myself safe.
We have since reconciled and she remembers it differently than I do (I was sober she was not)
But I just need to know so I can move on, was I wrong for physically standing up fodefending myself?
(Also I was asking for help from people all night to keep her away from me and was told to just take it easy and she was just drunk and it was no big deal. I’ve talked to my partner about him needing to support me more at that time and he understands he should’ve taken me more seriously because I was in real distress and not just annoyed like he thought, even though I said I needed help.)

Patch Note Site

System Changes

Reviving

• Time Before You can Start Reviving your Ally: 11-8 seconds (based on round, 8 seconds at round 11) ⇒ 12-8 seconds (based on round, 8 seconds at round 11)

Matchmaking

• Ranked will be enabled starting this patch!
• MMR will be soft reset, especially if above Gladiator MMR
• Improved matchmaking for new Arena players

You deserve a celebration. Hats off (or on) to you!

• High-stakes rounds now grant hats to the winning team
• Eliminating a team now grants hats to the winning team

Miscellaneous

• Arena God Title Required Wins: 168 ⇒ 60
• Right clicking augment or anvil selection cards no longer selects them
• Champion Select now always randomizes pick order within each team

Cameos

Jhin

Jhin was a bit too good of a sniper, often becoming frustrating to deal with because of how reliable his damage was. In this patch we're reducing his missile speed, and angle of attack to make his shots much easier to dodge, but still something you can take advantage of in combat.

• Missile Speed reduced from 8000 ⇒6000
• This should be easier to dodge, and manageable with boots
• For context Jhin (champion)'s R Missile speed: 5000
• Jhin would sit behind the team with more team health ⇒ Jhin Cameo now sits at a 90-degree angle of both teams, regardless of how much team HP they have

Augments and Prismatic Items

Augments

We've made many improvements to the rules behind what augments you are offered. We're not going to go into explicit detail here, but our goal is to reduce the chances you'll get an augment that you literally can't use. And allow certain augments or items to add augments to your pool.

It's fun to make things big. Your clones should be big too.

• Size adjustments now apply to clones. Goliath, Mad Scientist, and RaidBoss now grant their size adjustments to clones. This stacks with Minionmancer.

Prismatics

We've heard your pain when rerolling your prismatic and still not getting something you feel you can build around. So we've increased the odds that you'll get a Prismatic tailored to your champion/class. We still think there is plenty of room to adapt when you get something other than your ideal pick, but we want to reduce the frequency of worst-case scenarios where you spend multiple rerolls and can't find something interesting or playable.

Balance Adjustments

Augments

We're making several adjustments to augments this patch now that we've had some time to watch you all creatively push their limits. First, we're increasing the critical strike chance on certain augments to match the item changes while also slightly nerfing them to compensate. Second, mages and fighters are quite strong right now, so we're bringing down their power through various nerfs to their popular augments such as Spellwake and Raid Boss. Lastly, we're buffing and nerfing outlier augments that either need the help or are currently too strong.

Augment Buffs

Orbital Laser

• Maximum Health Damage: 20% ⇒ 30%

Earthwake

• Physical Damage: 125-2000 (+ 135% bonus AD) ⇒ 125-2000 (+ 150% bonus AD)

Accelerating Sorcery

• Ability Haste Per Cast: 9 ⇒ 10

Quantum Computing

• Base Damage: 100-250 ⇒ 200-350 (based on level)

Augment Adjustments

Vulnerability

• Critical Strike Chance: 20% ⇒ 25%
• Critical Strike Damage: 50% ⇒ 45%

Tank It Or Leave It

• Critical Strike Chance: 20% ⇒ 25%
• Max Defend Chance Based on Critical Strike Chance: 60% ⇒ 50%
• Damage Reduction: 25% ⇒ 20%

Soul Siphon

• Critical Strike Chance: 20% ⇒ 25%
• Heal Percentage: 15% ⇒ 12%

Jeweled Gauntlet

• Critical Strike Chance: 20% ⇒ 25%
• AP To Critical Strike Chance Conversion: 5% ⇒ 4.5%

Augment Nerfs

Spellwake

• Magic Damage: 40-250 (+20% AP) ⇒ 40-200 (based on level) (+20% AP)

Raid Boss

• Stat Increase: 50% ⇒ 40%

Holy Fire

• Maximum Health Percent Burn: 7% ⇒ 5%

Rabble Rousing

• Heal: 5-90 (+1% maximum health) ⇒ 5- 60 (based on level) (+1% maximum health)

Thread the Needle

• Armor and Magic Penetration: 25% ⇒ 20%

Wooglet's Witchcap

• Needlessly Large Rod AP: 150 ⇒ 120

Firebrand

• Maximum Health Damage per 5 seconds: 2.5% ⇒ 2%

Champions

For champion balance, we're helping out some of the worst performing champions in Arena like Aurelion Sol, while nerfing some of the best like Illaoi and Brand. Our buffs are mainly focused on helping these champions function in a way that feels better in the mode without significant increases in damage, such as letting Gnar charge his mega form faster. For nerfs, we're targeting outputs that are quite strong on Arena, such as Swain's power during his ultimate (since it's harder to get away from him) or some of Brand's hard to avoid damage. We're also taking this opportunity to nerf some healing/durability in the mode as it's too high (expect a larger set of changes soon), hence the Illaoi and Swain healing nerfs.

Champion Buffs

Gnar

• Passive - Tired After Transformation Duration: 8 ⇒ 5 seconds
• Q Cooldown: 18/16/14/12/10 ⇒ 14/12.5/11/9.5/8 seconds
• Q Mini Form Slow: 15/20/25/30/35% ⇒ 25/30/35/40/45%
• Q Mega Form Slow: 30/35/40/45/50% ⇒ 40/45/50/55/60%
• E Cooldown: 18/16/14/12/10 ⇒ 16/14/12/10/8 seconds

Blitzcrank

• Passive Shield Cooldown: 30 ⇒ 20 seconds
• W Slow Duration: 1.5 ⇒ 1 second
• W Bonus Attack Speed: 30/40/50/60/70% ⇒ 50/60/70/80/90%

Aurelion Sol

• Stardust Stacks Per Round: 26.66 ⇒ 40
• W Cooldown: 22/20.5/19/17.5/16 ⇒ 15/14/13/12/11 seconds

Irelia

• Health Growth: 124 ⇒ 136
• W Cooldown: 20/18/16/14/12 ⇒ 16/15/14/13/12
• R Cooldown: 125/105/85 ⇒ 40 seconds

Champion Nerfs

Galio

• Q Base Damage: 100-280 ⇒ 70-210
• W Passive Shield: 10-20% maximum health ⇒ 7.5-13.5% maximum health

Zed

• Q Damage: 80/130/180/230/280 (+130% AD) ⇒ 80/120/160/200/240 (+130% AD)
• R Damage Stored: 30/45/60% ⇒ 25/40/55%

Swain

• R Damage Per Second: 20/40/60 (+10% AP) ⇒ 20/30/40 (+10% AP)
• R Heal Per Second: 15/27.5/40 (+ 18% AP) ⇒ 12/22/32 (+ 18% AP)

Brand

• Passive Percent Health Damage: 1.75% ⇒ 1.5%
• E Magic Damage: 60-180 (+60% AP) ⇒ 60-180 (+45% AP)
• R Magic Damage: 75-225 (+25% AP) ⇒ 75-175 (+25% AP)

Illaoi

• Passive Heal: 3.5% Missing Health ⇒ 2.5% Missing Health
• Q Tentacle Damage Increase: 5-25% ⇒ 4-20%
• W Cooldown: 4 ⇒ 6 seconds

Lillia

• Passive Maximum Health Damage: 5 (+1.25% per 100 AP) ⇒ 4 (+1.25% per 100 AP)
• Q AP Ratio: 35% ⇒ 30%

Items

Similar to one of our goals for augment balance, we're nerfing many popular mage and fighter items to get them into a more balanced state. We're also giving Decapitator some generic power, increasing Hamstringer's critical strike chance to match the item changes, and adjusting Sanguine Gift so more strength is in its most unique effect. Lastly, we're including a nerf to Guardian's Horn to limit how durable champions can be early game.

Item Buffs

Decapitator

• Adaptive Force: 70 ⇒ 80

Hamstringer

• Critical Strike Chance: 20% ⇒ 25%

Item Nerfs

Cruelty

• Ability Power: 100 ⇒ 80
• Passive Health Ratio: 5% ⇒ 4%

Innervating Locket

• Ability Haste: 25 ⇒ 20
• Ability Power: 80 ⇒ 70

Reality Fracture

• Voidgrub Damage: 10 (+ 10% AP) (+ 5% AD) ⇒ 8 (+ 8% AP) (+ 4% AD)

Horizon Focus

• Ability Power: 100 ⇒ 80

Liandry's Torment

• Ability Power: 70 ⇒ 60

Guardian's Shroud

• Health: 350 ⇒ 300

Sundered Sky

• Heal AD Ratio: 130% ⇒ 110%
• Health: 400 ⇒ 350

Eclipse

• Melee Maximum Health Damage: 8% ⇒ 6%

Divine Sunderer

• Melee Max Health Damage: 5% ⇒ 4%

Guardian's Blade

• Health: 300 ⇒ 250

Guardian's Horn

• Incoming Damage Reduction: 15 ⇒ 12
• Health: 350 ⇒ 300

Item Adjustments

Sanguine Gift

• Damage Store: 10% ⇒ 15%
• Ability Power: 90 ⇒ 80

14.10 SR Item Changes for Arena

Many item changes from Summoner's Rift have been moved to Arena with a few exceptions:

• Zephyr: Removed from the Shop since its new form doesn't function as well in Arena compared to Summoner's Rift.
• Statikk Shiv - Slightly different passive that should be more functional in Arena. Passive: On Attack, fire chain lightning that deals 90 magic damage, hitting up to 6 targets (6 second cooldown).

Arena Bugfixes & QoL Changes

QoL Changes

• Improved Replays camera navigation when following a specific team.

Bugfixes

• Fixed an issue where players could not spectate games of Arena from the friends list.
• Fixed the Loading Screen ranked borders from properly updating when clicking to different teams.
• Fixed an issue where certain movement triggering spells (Zeri W, Poppy R) could path champions to a spot outside of the arena.
• Fixed end of game screens properly displaying your placement.
• Lee Sin + Chauffeur: Casting on your ally now correctly grants a shield and breaks the tether.
• Pyke + Chauffeur: Now allows Pyke to Dash with his W.
• Dematerialize now correctly grants 30 Adaptive Force when taken as the second augment.
• Phenomenal Evil now correctly grants Ability Power when taken as the second augment.
• Spirit Link now assigns the correct amount of damage to the ally.
• Fixed many instances where Force of Entropy could allow opponents a frame of action when critting knock ups/knock backs.
• Mirage Blade now reduces the cooldown of item actives that are dashes.
• Fixed an issue where Moonflair Spellblade was unintentionally giving attack speed.
• Fixed an issue that prevented icon images from displaying and instead showing debug text.
• Fixed an issue that caused Jhin's Cameo mark icon to be missing the image and displayed debug text.
• Fixed an issue that caused the homeguard icon to show an invisible icon when interrupted.
• Fixed an issue that caused Moonflair Spellblade to trigger off non-fully charged Zeri passive attacks.
• Fixed an issue that prevented the Turbo Chemtank slow debuff icon from displaying.
• Fixed an issue that caused both debuffs icons from Hamstringer to not display.
• Fixed an issue that allowed Profane Hydra's passive cleave to remain after selling the item.
• Wooglet's Quest will now correctly give a Needlessly Large Rod so long as there is an open item slot.
• Fixed an issue that caused the Hold Very Still augment to display debug text in the description.
• Fixed an issue that caused Gragas to gain extra stats after using his W after casting his R twice with Ultimate Revolution.
• Fixed an issue that prevented Stridebreaker's passive from working.
• Striderbreaker also had a couple of tooltip issues, we fixed those too.
• Fixed an issue that caused Serpent's Fang to display an incorrect tooltip
• Fixed an issue that caused Kraken Slayer to display incorrect stats
• Fixed an issue that allowed Divine Sunderer to stack with multiple spellblade items.
• Turns out if you have the Conqueror rune then take Circle of Death, Symphony of War, and From Beginning to End it could cause an infinite damage loop and then cause a server crash. We fixed that.
• Fixed an issue that caused Rek'Sai's Q tooltip to display incorrect information.
• Fixed an issue that prevented the Earthquake augment from triggering when casting certain blink abilities.
• System Changes

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
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• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
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• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
​

• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
​

• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
​

• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

So to start, when I play HC I have my system, and I use it. I have a West Coast Zone Block Scheme playbook I created using Mike Shanahan's as a base, and throughout the years that is what I've ran. Updating it from time to time, but the fundamental core of my playbook was 25-30 runs a game with a work horse RB, zone stretch plays in singleback or Near, setting up the play action boot rollout. And for the last 8 or 9 years, It's the only offense I've used. Until this weekend.
This last weekend I was drinking my morning Coffee watching broncos press conference about bo nix, and at the end of the interview YT recommended me the 2006 Rose bowl game, Texas vs USC. (The greatest college football game of all time) as I watched the game on my iPad, inspiration hit me & dusted off my PS3.
For the First time ever in HC I created a College offense. As my Base playbook I used Michigan spread, Knowing how dominant Hammermill is, I decided to use his simple 75 play playbook. I added a single back two TE set to his book, about 15-20 plays in this formation, and added some shotgun passes as well. In total my playbook is 115 plays, which in contrast is rather limited compared to my 160 play westcoast book.
My defense is typically a 3-4 man pressure based off of Wade Phillips playbook. As a Broncos fan, when I play HC I try to recreate the two best era's of Denver Broncos football. Mike Shanahan's offense with Wade Phillips no fly zone defense. In the theme of new-to-me-playstyle, I used the 3-3-5 Mustang and added 14 plays in a 3-4 front. 89 plays total, The 3-3-5 is completely foreign to me, but I did know it requires 2 strong safeties and a single high free safety that is a true centerfielder. the 3 down lineman need to be big & strong, essentially 3 nose tackles
I like to create back stories to my coach, as much as Madden and Head Coach are Football games, to me I play them Like an RPG as well. where did my coach come from, what is his background and how did he become a head coach. etc
"Dom Mastroianni aka 'the Maestro' is a Guru, specializing in getting the best out of his players. He took Ole Miss on a miraculous run in the SEC. Not exactly a mad genius on either side of the ball, his specialty is helping his players maximize their potential. Leader of Men and Motivator."
With my playbooks & lore set, I I took over the 49ers, A team I've never used before. My 50k coach points were to be saved until just before the preseason, where I'd buy Charm > Motivator and have 5k left over to put into performance. as part of my lore after acquiring motivator, I will max out performance to level 4 before buying other skills.
My first move as head coach was to trade for Vince Young & Reggie Bush, two guys who I hoped would become stud's in Hammermills playbook. Coupled with me watching the 2006 rose bowl and rush to motivator on my skill tree, I felt good about what these two could do. No other trades were made. I signed Free agent Eugene Wilson & Stacey Andrews.
As the draft came along, I wanted to target guys who were extreme athletes and use the potential boost of motivator to increase their intangibles and overall ability. Since I was using motivator so early, I gave up most of my 2009 draft to collect players who had great combines and measurables, I wanted to have 8 or 9 very solid picks and turn these players into superstars and maximize their potential.
My Draft went as followed
Limas Sweed, VY's teammate at the university of Texas - 1st Round
Martellius Bennet TE - 2nd Round
Desean Jackson WR - 2nd Round
John Greco RT - 3rd Round
Tom Zibikowski SS - 3rd Round
David hale LG - 4th Round
Zack Bowman CB - 4th Round
Steven Justice C - 5th Round
Peyton Hillis FB - 5th Round
Hank Smithers DT - 6th Round
Frank Okam DT (converted LE) - 6th Round
Darrell LongBottom DT - 7th Round
Sweed, Bennet, and Zibikowski are 3 guys I never draft. But sweed is 6'5 and with his potential boost he can reach a 99 speed, 95 catching. His injury rating is still bad, but not as bad. Zibikowski and bennet had similar changes, bennet is now a 96 potential speed with his 6'7 frame. a matchup nightmare. between him and vernon davis's measurables there isnt a single linebacker who can matchup with them.
The preseason was just as much me learning the playbook as they players. My first regular season game was a nail bitter, 37-34 victory over the cardinals that came down to the wire. Vince young finished 22-31 with 345 passing yards and 4 TD's. Reggie Bush 13 Attempts 74 yards, 2 catches 28 yards and 93 return yards. I wrapped up my season last night and went 8-8. My typical first years are 10 - 12 wins and playoff birth.
But the new challenge of learning both a defense and offense playbook with entirely new players has been a shot in the arm for me. The most fun i've had playing this game in a long while. I apologize about the long blog post, & if you made it this far thanks for reading. I've got a firm grasp on the michigan spread offense which features alot of option plays & overall I'm very excited for the start of this next season.

Can someone explain to me specifically why this was removed, and how I’d be able to edit it without defeating the purpose of the entire story?
It was removed for breach of the “CORROBORATION/PROOF” rule, though after reviewing those terms, I don’t believe that I’ve broken them.
“A dream, a nightmare, a hallucination, a vision, a bout of sleep paralysis, is drunk and/or high, was in a coma or otherwise an altered state”— none of these are the reason behind my main character’s paranormal experience, and I’ve given no indication whatsoever in the story to suggest that they are.
In fact, I’ve outright denied the idea that my main character imagined her experience about as much as I possibly could for a story with a first person perspective.
The main character says “it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream,” in the second paragraph— a sentiment which she consistently attests to throughout the story, and a sentiment which is never walked back on or brought into question by the narrator.
My narrator was in a sound state of mind at the moment of her encounter, and is practical and methodical in her investigation of what happened. Any implication that she has become mentally unwell occurs long after the inciting incident which the story is built around.
I would like to respectfully request that this story be reevaluated. In the short time that it was active on nosleep, it clearly connected with people. If it cannot stand as is, then I need someone to help me make it fit the guidelines without defeating the entire purpose of the story and betraying its themes.
The nosleep subreddit is filled to the brim with stories in which the narrator’s words are taken at face value. When a narrator in a different story says “I walked to the store,” it’s not like the author HAS to give tactile, irrefutable evidence that the narrator actually walked to the store. The audience simply accepts that the narrator walked to the store. This concept of innate credibility is the bedrock upon which my entire story is built.
I do not believe my work would benefit from being altered to fit these guidelines as rigidly as possible, nor do I think that is a fair standard to hold it to. In fact, if I were to change the contents of my story in such a way, the themes which set it apart from others like it would be lost.
In short, I do not understand why my story was deleted, I do not know how to alter it to fit the guidelines beyond any shadow of a doubt without destroying its central purpose, and I refuse to believe that nosleep is not the right place for this work. I implore you to reconsider my submission, or to at least work with me to find a solution which keeps the story’s themes intact.
Here is my story:
I got grabbed
Last night, when I was home alone, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.
Nobody was there to see it, and nobody that I’ve told believes me, but it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream.
I was watching TV when it happened. The remote fell under the couch and I started fishing around for it without really looking, not wanting to get up from my seat. I brushed it with the tips of my fingers and it slid further underneath.
I was super annoyed— I had to get down on my knees to reach it. I finally found the remote, and that’s when it grabbed me.
As I pulled the remote out into the light, a hand shot up from under the couch and wrapped its fingers around my wrist.
I was able to yank myself away quickly. It didn’t hold on tight— just enough that I felt a little resistance. I jumped to my feet, obviously terrified.
I didn’t scream or anything. I was honestly too scared to even make a sound. My heart was beating so fast that my ears started to ring. The TV was still going, commercials droning on while I tried to process what had just happened.
The hand had only come out about a foot from under the couch. It had an arm attached to it, though I wasn’t able to see past its elbow, and it slinked back below the couch as soon as I pulled myself free from its grasp.
It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t leave any sort of bruise or mark or anything on my wrist, but I definitely felt it, and I definitely saw it.
All I could do was stare at the spot where the hand had appeared. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps right outside my front door.
I live in a second-story apartment. It’s a pretty cramped place and a pretty old building, so whenever someone comes over I can usually hear footsteps from the moment they enter the building downstairs.
I guess I was so freaked out by the hand that I didn’t even notice someone was outside until they were already opening the door.
My roommate walked in on quite a scene. She immediately registered how off the vibe was. I could see it on her face.
She found me standing upright in the middle of our living room, TV remote in hand, facing away from the screen while Full House’s laugh track filled the air. I’m sure I’d think it was odd too.
“Hey…” she said, shifting a paper bag full of groceries in her arm while she pocketed her keys, “You good?”
I felt like I was caught with my pants down, but just seeing a familiar face brought some of the blood back to my fingers.
“N—yeah,” I stuttered. I came back online, and flicked the TV off.
I felt her eyes on me as she walked over to the kitchen. There’s no wall or anything dividing the two rooms. Like I said, the place is pretty cramped.
She started putting her groceries away as if everything was normal, but I could tell she wanted to ask what was up.
I kept looking back and forth between her and the couch. I can’t explain it, but I already knew that if I looked under there, I wouldn’t find any trace of whoever (or whatever) grabbed me.
As she started loading up the fridge, I dropped to my hands and knees once again. Without taking even a second to ready myself, I brought my head down to the ground and looked under the couch.
Nothing.
Pretty much what I expected. There was barely enough room for me to squeeze my arm under there for the remote. No way a whole person could fit beneath that thing, and even if they could, there’s no way I wouldn’t have seen them or heard them or something before they grabbed me.
“Seriously, what’s up?”
I looked up to see my roommate standing right behind me, arms crossed, clearly concerned.
I knew I was acting strange, and I knew that nothing I would come up with in the next five seconds could possibly excuse my behavior. I made a judgement call, honestly not really caring about how it would be received.
“I uh… something grabbed me earlier.”
“What?”
“Under the couch. I dropped the remote, and when I picked it up, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.”
Took her a second to respond.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“That’s it. A hand reached out and grabbed me by the wrist. It happened like a minute before you got here.”
That part might have been a lie. I actually have no idea how long I had been standing in the middle of the room before she showed up.
“Wait so like someone broke in?”
“No. It’s just like I said. A hand reached out, grabbed me, and then it was gone.”
She just kinda looked at me for a while. I don’t blame her, but it’s not like there was any way for me to sugarcoat it.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you mean ‘am I sure?’ Yes, yes I’m fucking sure!”
My voice broke a little when I said that. I was still down on my knees, like I was praying for her to believe me.
“Okay well obviously that didn’t happen Sam.”I let out a desperate laugh and threw my hands up in the air. I slapped them down on my thighs dramatically and shook my head in exasperation.
“Yeah obviously it sounds fucking crazy but you asked what happened and that’s what happened. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m just being honest.”
I pulled myself up to my feet and walked around to the armrest of the couch. She kept studying me, probably thinking this was all a prank or something.
“What are you doing?” She asked, arms still glued across her chest.
“I’m checking under the couch.”
I pushed one end of the couch away from the wall. It was pretty heavy, and the coffee table stopped me from moving it too far. I dragged the coffee table towards the TV to free up some space.
My roommate started staring at the spot I was clearing as if she expected to see something there too.
I went back over to the armrest.
“Can you help me?”
She snapped out of her trance and silently went to grab the other side. We pulled the couch away from the wall, revealing a thick rectangle of dust that had not seen the light of day since we moved in a year ago.
I dropped to my knees once more and began wiping away the grime with my bare hands. There was nothing but the floorboards beneath it. No surprise.
I sat there for a second, eyes darting around the floor. No fingerprints in the dust, no scratches or marks or anything. I felt the tension in the room dissipate as my roommate found her voice again.
“I think you must have imagined it.”
I didn’t. There’s no way.
“Dude, no. I felt it and I saw it. Clear as day. It was a hand, and it grabbed me. That’s not the sort of thing you can just imagine.”
She scoffed, any fear left in her giving way to frustration.
“Whatever. This is fucking stupid. I’m going to bed.”
She stomped off towards her room.
“Wait.”
She spun on her heels as I stood up, probably expecting me to tell her I was joking about the whole thing.
“Can you help me flip the couch over?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Sure. But I’m not helping you put it back.”
She helped me lift the couch off of its legs and tilt it onto its front cushions, exposing the fabric underneath. She disappeared into her room and I went to work studying the underside of the sofa.
There was a zipper lining the bottom, but I found nothing inside when I opened it up. Just a hollow wooden frame and a bunch of crumbs.
I sat back against the wall, more tired than scared at that point.
I can’t believe she thinks I’m making this up. Why would I even do that? What purpose would it serve?
As I solemnly went about rebuilding our living room, I decided that the next day (today) I was gonna take off work, wait for her to leave, and really get to the bottom of this.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Every nook and cranny of my room felt like a door left wide open, with something sinister waiting on the other side.
What if the hand comes back? What if it wants to hurt me next time? How can I even protect myself?
After like ten restless minutes in bed, I decided to move to the floor. I couldn’t help it. I kept imagining the hand reaching up from under the bed and grabbing me again.
I made a makeshift sleeping bag out of my comforter and some pillows, and I laid on my side so I could keep an eye on the underside of my bedframe while I slept. Maybe “slept” isn’t the right word. Even down there, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes for longer than a minute.
Eventually sunlight began to peek through the blinds, and I heard some movement within the apartment. My roommate was finally up. I heard the front door close, and it was time to get to work.
I nearly threw my back out yanking the couch away from the wall to reveal the floorboards underneath. They aren’t real floorboards, just the kind of cheap-o fake shit they put in crappy houses to make them look more modern. Our whole apartment is like that— a thin coat of paint slapped over an old building from the 40s or whatever.
My dad actually owns this building. He lets me and my roommate stay here as long as we pay him $500 a month, which is way cheaper than most places in my area.
It’s not really an apartment building to be honest. You can tell it used to be a family home before some realtor swooped in and broke it up into apartments. There are a lot of those around here.
Anyway, the fake wood came up easy. It was only about a quarter inch thick. I was able to pull up the first plank by hammering a kitchen knife into a slit between the boards, and then I peeled a few more away by hand.
After prying away about a dozen of these fake floorboards, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to find anything without making a significantly larger dent. Right beneath the thin layer of fake wood was a layer of very real, very thick wooden beams that seemed to span well beyond the hole I had managed to claw open.
My back crackled and popped as I sat back on my heels to admire my handiwork and contemplate where to go from there. I knew I would need a power saw or some kind of heavy duty tool to get any deeper, but I was afraid of two things:

1. That these beams were supporting the entire second floor of the building, and cutting through them would make the whole thing collapse
2. That going any deeper would lead me into the ceiling of the apartment below us, and whoever lives there would call my dad before I could see what I needed to see.

Regardless of the risks, I knew I had to keep going. I was certain that something was down there. Whatever grabbed me had to have left some sort of evidence.
I can’t stop thinking about that fucking hand.
I’m not supposed to have it, but my dad gave me a master key for the whole building in case of emergencies. He could really get in trouble if anyone found out, but if this isn’t an emergency then idk what is.
There’s a service shed around the back of the building, which has seen none of the love that the main building saw when it was renovated. Decades worth of rusty antiques and rotting furniture line the walls. A shiny, modern tool bench sits unnaturally in the middle of the chaos.
I rifled through all of that shit as fast as I could. I’m not really close with my dad all things considered, and I’m sure he’d be super pissed if he found me out there. He’s so secretive about random shit all the time, and he’s constantly dropping by the building unannounced.
I found the jigsaw under a pile of old newspapers and ran back upstairs.
I probably should have checked the driveway to see if anyone was home first, because the saw made so much noise. The cord barely reached from the outlet to the spot where the couch used to be, but as awkward as the angle was, I was still able to get it in there.
I went as small as possible with my first few cuts. I started with a single beam, cutting out a section about 6x6 inches wide. I slid the chunk of wood out, and, to my relief, didn’t immediately see the plaster that would be my downstairs neighbor’s ceiling.
A tuft of insulation stuck out where I made the hole. I didn’t know that stuff is made from fiberglass or whatever, and I got a really bad splinter when I went to yank it out.
I fished some leather gloves out of my roommate’s closet and got to work on the insulation. I pulled and pulled but couldn’t get a good enough grip to remove anything more than a few bits about the size of a tennis ball.
I went back in with the jigsaw, cutting bigger and bigger chunks until I had cleared a hole about two feet in diameter.
No sign that I was gonna bring the building down, that’s good.
I hacked away for hours. More wood came up, more insulation came up, and when I finally hit a fragile-looking layer of drywall, I knew the jig was up. That’s definitely my neighbor’s ceiling. Fuck.
My roommate and I got in a screaming match when she got home. I made a pretty big mess but I don’t really give a fuck honestly.
I don’t give a fuck if she believes me. I fucking hate that bitch. I told her if she tells my dad what I’m doing, I’ll bash her brains in with the hammer. That shut her up. She left with a bag full of her clothes like an hour later.
Tomorrow I’m going to wait for our downstairs neighbor to leave and start investigating from the bottom-up. If there wasn’t any evidence on the floor up here, there HAS to be something on the ceiling down there.
If I do find something, I’ll post again. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but at this point I just want everything written down somewhere accessible in case something bad happens.
There has to be something down there. Something grabbed me. And I’m going to find out what it is.

It's been 4 months since I was diagnosed with cirrhosis and I wanted to share these results. I can't believe the journey I've taken in such a short time. At the start, in January, I was in moderately bad shape.
ALT/AST was 60/247. It's down to 23/47! Bilirubin was 3.3. It's down to 1.7! Sodium was 128, it's back up to 131. Still not perfect but an improvement for sure.
Almost everything else is NORMAL including calcium, potassium, etc.
I'm a little confused about Albumin though. It says my albumin is normal but my Albumin/Globulin Ratio is low. Protein is high, 8.9. I chalk it up to being slightly dehydrated all the time due to fluid restricted diet (1L per day) and doubling down on protein.
Anyway, I'm shocked that almost everything in the test is normal. I never expected to make this much progress. I was told I could be in the danger zone back in January. My MELD was 25 last check but I can't imagine it'll be that high now, not with only like 3 things off out of 18. I'm hoping it's gone way down.
Just find a badass hepatologist, follow all of their instructions to the letter even if they're uncomfortable like my low fluid diet, stop drinking/smoking, stick to your guns with diet, get a lot of sleep if you can. I can't promise you'll be okay but things will probably look up!

TLDR: What ways are you framing RTO in your mind to be happier (or make it less of a frustration)?
Somewhat of a vent, but I am having significant difficulty both mentally and physically when I think about RTO. Every time I even think about RTO and having to do that, I get incredibly angry and frustrated, and physically feel upset and jittery. I just immediately shut down and get into a super depressed/apathetic mindset whenever I think about all the things that I will have to do to RTO and it completely ruins my mood, and sometimes my whole day. (I understand this may come off as childish to some of you, but as someone who was hired under permanent telework, it feels incredibly demoralizing to have that taken away for no reason)
For me, it's the lack of actual recorded evidence that RTO is necessary and worthwhile, especially for a job that we have been doing very well remotely for the last few years. Every reason they have been giving is such obvious BS and I can't get over how much they don't care about us. I am also one of those introverted people that absolutely LOVES my time at home and THRIVES in that environment. Thinking about everything that I will need to pack and bring everyday that I have to go into the office, making sure I don't forget anything, having to pick out an uncomfortable outfit and wear it all day, making sure I bring enough food to sustain me for the entire day, having to sit in traffic for a good portion of my day that otherwise used to be free time, not being allowed to book a desk near a window (because apparently sunlight is only for those high enough up the food chain), etc. has my ADHD brain SCRAMBLING and I'm seriously struggling to overcome it.
I don't want to find another job right now, as I quite like what little work I actually have to do everyday, and I do want the benefits that the state provides long term, so leaving is not really an option for me. I realize though that because of this, I have to suck it up and RTO. However, I also realize that I cannot (or rather, should not) be this angry all the time so I need to make a concious effort to change my mindset and try to be happier about RTO, however I can.
Any helpful advice?

I haven't tried all of them, but I have tried a bunch.
Alien DNA: I played through to NG+ with this. The extra O2 is convenient...up to when you get Personal Atmo. The med and food impact isn't much of a trade-off. I'm really hoping they do something cool with this with full survival mode, though, as the concept is neat.
Dream Home: I tried this and realized that homes had no advantages over outposts. Now that you can decorate your ship, there's even less reason for this. They really should do something to make player homes unique, because right now this trait is just a money sink.
Empath: I haven't tried this one, even though I usually have companions.
Extrovert: I'm playing with this now. The extra O2 is nice enough. I would like to see it come up more in dialogue, though.
Freestar Collective Settler: I don't know that I ever noticed a better reward or a worse bounty. They really should call it out more on screen, IMO. Mostly I remember the dialogue in New Atlantis, but I don't think I tried a Ranger questline with this trait. Is it any better?
Hero Worshipped: AF is funny as hell in this game and is a pretty good companion. If he had a companion quest then he would be perfect. I highly recommend doing at least one universe with this guy. Just buy him a hat to cover that cut.
Introvert: I haven't tried this one because I like the companions. Plus, I play games to get away from reality. /jk
Kid Stuff: This is another trait that is really good on the first universe. The gifts can be quite nice, and hearing Tuvok and Kira act like your parents is really cool. They missed a huge cue, though, by not having them at your wedding. I could see eventually swapping this one out, though I haven't tried to see if an NG+ change things up at all.
Neon Street Rat: This one has more memorable impacts on dialogue than either FC or UC, IMO. It doesn't play well with Kid Stuff, though, as it implies in a few places that you grew up a street orphan. Of the various faction loyalties, I like this one the best.
Raised Enlighted and Raised Universal: I've tried at least one of these and hardly noticed any impact. Is there something you need to do to trigger something? I never even saw a chest.
Serpent's Embrace: Is this one interesting? It seems like it won't come into its own until Shattered Space.
Spaced and Terra Firma: Never tried either. The physical effects aren't that exciting, but is there interesting dialogue or roleplay?
Taskmaster: Any value here? It just doesn't seem that interesting.
United Colonies Native: I think I tried this one and found it the least interesting of the 3 faction backgrounds, but I don't remember much about it.
Wanted: I loved this trait until they patched out the ability to steal bounty hunter ships. Now it's just OK. It's most interesting when the bounty hunters show up when you're already dealing with something else. You can get a cool three-way fight or some other scenario that mixes it up a bit.
Which ones are your favorites? Which ones do you want to try?

Hello, thank you for any guidance, I’ll try to make this short.
I’m 28M, single I live in the US, I make $130k before taxes.
Per month- Rent: $2750 Utilities: $200 Insurance: all covered by work, they pay 100% of premium and the whole deductible for med/dental/vision/pet. They also pay for my cellphone bill. Entertainment: $2000 - consists of groceries ($700), attending weddings ($500), hanging with friends ($300), skiing ($120), WiFi bill ($70/month) and miscellaneous items like a coffee or a book, clothes (~$200)
Rent is high, but nothing I can do about it as it seems. I live in a HCOL area and am required to be on site at least a few times a week. My rent is actually cheap comparatively and I could easily be paying an extra $500 a month.
Not willing to get rid of skiing for mental health reasons.
I need WiFi.
I suspect after these weddings, entertainment expense should fall to around $1500/month. And I’m going to make a conscious effort to not buy clothes and coffee outside.
I cook all my meals, I don’t ever eat out unless socially. Groceries are just expensive.
I don’t have any debt or any subscriptions (ie. Netflix) what so ever.
No car.
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Despite all this I’m still finding it difficult to save 15% of my salary ($1300+ per month). I can only manage 8% currently.
My company provides 3% safe harbor contribution with no match into a vanguard 401k, I have about $12k+ sitting in a 2065 target date retirement fund.
I then contribute 5% each paycheck to a Roth IRA primarily in three funds, VOO, MGK and VUG, my thought process is that my 401k is pretty conservative so given my age and lack of dependents, I could be more aggressive within my IRA. Do people think this correct, or should I just focus on a fund that covers the stock market, a fund that covers an international market and t bonds?
I have $5k in crypto
I also have 3000 units in a private company that just IPOd for $10 a share, I just exercised these units and have to wait 6 months to sell.
Parents have some retirement account for me they’ve been contributing to since my birth and are still contributing too. I’m not sure how much is In there and they won’t tell me. I just now that I have to file my taxes with their lawyer every year and this guy does some magic which also includes deducting rent and something with this hidden retirement account. I think they want me to not get lazy. Since I don’t know anything about it, I don’t want to rely on it in calculating what I should save.
I also don’t pay my utilities on time, usually I’m given 4 months of no fee/no interest/no credit report for not paying a bill on an open account before a shut off notice is served. Every month, I dump the utility bill amount into an index fund and withdraw only the day before a scheduled shut off. Again, there aren’t any late fees or interest charges or credit reporting for my utilities on open accounts.
Don’t own any property, besides fractional real estate holdings through a fund. And I don’t see my self being able to afford a house in this current market for some time(This is really bugging me)
I try to pay for as many things as possible pre-tax (support animal needs, medical care, dental, vacation etc.)
I have friends my age that all have houses and making at least $300k. I feel woefully behind and wondering if I’m on track to have a decent retirement given my the current information. Should I make it a priority to try and allocate 15%? Is my Roth IRA investing too aggressive?

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from Italy, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about “immigrants coming to our country” and jadajadajada. The government is right wing. So yeah, being racist is almost the norm, unfortunately.
I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable and will never forget it.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin and his religion. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed....... something or another (P.S. pictures of me on my profile)
Searching for the "one" isnt easy, but what can we do aye? First things first, to throw some random bits of info out there about me! (Info dump incoming 😂)
I'm 24 and biracial! Half Irish and half African/northern Indian, and I'm living in the UK!
I'm approximately 6'0"-6'1" in height and id say an average/kept build. I also have somewhat long-ish hair for a guy, going near my shoulders, it's naturally straight! I also have a well kept somewhat shorter and neat beard :) I also have very fair skin. I guess I took physically more from one side of my heritage 😂🤌 I'm also a Muslim lad! So just putting that out there too for the sake of it.
I do enjoy binging on junk food but between my high metabolism and my physically active job working as an electrician (which I'm trying to fully establish myself in) I tend to never put any weight on 🤷
So! What am I looking for? Well it's a long shot. I'd like to imagine something like the female version of myself. My other half. Someone I find attractive, kind, easy going, fun to get along with, can hold a conversation without making it feel like a one sided effort and chore. Etc!
Important note!!!
IF you are not from the UK. Be aware relocating doesn't appear to be an option for me currently 😅 so bear that in mind please. I am open to a potential long distance but again. There's that.
I guess I'm the hopeless romantic type. Fantasising about soulmates, something real, serious, natural and everything great. Is that easy to obtain these days? Bruh. HECK no 😭 but can a guy try? Well, here's to hoping I suppose. Guess only time will tell
Anyone between the ages of 20-27 is welcome! Anyone who wants to actually get to know each other and dreams about something sincere and real! (With some fun stupidity and jokes thrown in there of course, that banter is a must🗿👍)
I like a woman with a little bit of confidence ya know? Probably one of the most attractive personality traits, who can hold a conversation and engage with the other person you know? Nothing more off putting than someone who gives single worded dead replies lol
Here's a bit more about me. My hobbies! my hobbies are various. I'd argue I'm an ambivert. Though my main hobbies lean towards something a little more introverted. You have hiking and the likes as well as going out with friends and driving around at night with them, but then you also have gaming which is a huge hobby of mine!!
So yeah! There's my shot being let out. I'd say I consider myself to be an honest and open book and would like someone who is open, honest and sincere in the same way!
Oh! And my preferred platform is Snap (:
So. Here's to hoping!

For many, Guerlain’s Habit Rouge represents a high watermark in perfumery. Since its original release in 1965, the composition has been beloved by gentlemen (and ladies) across the world. It is also a well known favourite of many of the most well regarded perfume historians and reviewers out there and, because of that, one could well argue that there is precious little further useful opinion that can be added to the existing cannon (and they may well be right!).
Still, Jean-Paul Guerlain’s multi-faceted composition has been no stranger to a remix over the years and, since Delphine Jelk took over from Thierry Wasser as in-house perfumer at the historic French house, she has managed to deliver a staggering three new takes on the fragrance in as many years. What better opportunity could there be, therefore, to undertake both a reappraisal of the original release and, in doing so, compare it to some of the new kids on the block? Note: I have not sampled the first of Jelk’s flankers, 2022’s Habit Rouge L'Instinct but, given the almost unanimous negativity surrounding it, it’s not high on my hit list! We’ll be looking at Rouge Prive and the Parfum today.
Habit Rouge EDT (1965)
The concept behind Habit Rouge (or ‘Red Coat’, if translated in to English from its native language) was to create a perfume that brought to mind the jackets worn by the landed gentry when they went hunting. In the UK, we’re no stranger to this nefarious practice - our own fox hunting aristocrats also wore red coats and, despite now being banned, the idea of chasing helpless creatures to their deaths is still a subject of debate in our national politics (with right wing politicians often promising to offer a ‘free vote’ to MPs on the issue to energise their base).
As an animal lover myself, this is perhaps the only element of Habit Rouge I find somewhat jarring. There is nothing within this perfume which brings to mind sport, adrenaline, blood, or violence. I find it somewhat curious, consequently, that Guerlain sought to relate it to hunting. The only thing wearers of Habit Rouge were likely to be chasing on its release were sexual partners!
That statement isn’t made wholly in jest either. Habit Rouge is a gentleman’s fragrance, but it carries within its structure not only aspects of formality and traditional masculinity, but also sensuality and sensitivity. It is, as such, a fragrance well suited to old fashioned romantics. Indeed, if it didn’t have these traits, I’d argue that it wouldn’t have survived for the almost 60 years that it has. When you think about it, it’s almost incredible that, despite how radically concepts of masculinity have changed over the years, Habit Rouge has still been a regular seller for Guerlain, with devotees now spanning across 5 generations.
Created to be the younger brother to the company’s 1925 release, Shalimar it, like its sibling, contains a citrus top note, which descends into a floral heart, before culminating in a vanillic leather and amber base. Habit Rouge is not simply a three card trick, however, and its complete run of notes can be summarised as follows (as per Basenotes):
Top Notes: bergamot, lemon, rosewood, basil, pimento
Heart Notes: sandalwood, carnation, patchouli, cedar, rose, cinnamon
Base Notes: vanilla, amber, moss, leather, benzoin, labdanum, olibanum
When it comes to the head of the perfume, the real star of the show is the bergamot, which radiates wonderfully off the skin when first sprayed. Whilst it is effervescent, though, it is also a powdery affair. In fact, it can most accurately be described as being akin to orange sherbet - fizzing whilst maintaining a chalkiness. It is warm and reassuring as opposed to enthusiastic. It also maintains a cologne like structure, however, by incorporating herbal and spicy notes through the use of basil and rosewood.
This accord is then joined to a rose and carnation-dominant middle phase, through which the powdered facets of the fragrance continue to run, and through which the fragrance begins to show its romantic side.
Finally, the dry down of the fragrance provides a semi-sweet backdrop with the vanilla taking the edge away from the traditionally masculine moss and leather accords and combining with the rest of the ingredients to produce a soft, light amber.
It is not hard to see, in this context, why Habit Rouge has continued to be successful over the years - it, essentially, captures hearts and minds because it resonates with the personality of its wearer in a way that other traditional masculine fragrances can sometimes struggle to do (as they were often, like their owners of the period, more buttoned up).
Habit Rouge - Rouge Prive (2023)
That doesn’t mean that the EdT of Habit Rouge smells like it was composed yesterday, however. It just means that it has aged like a fine wine as opposed to being the perfume equivalent of a kipper tie. In fact, if it were any item of clothing, I’d compare it to a 1960s slim lapelled suit - of its time, but still stylish today.
Still, as the years have gone by, the term ‘legibility’ has become more and more important in the perfume industry, and there now seems to be a distinct trend towards the creation of perfumes whose formulas are more streamlined than Habit Rouge. Or to put it another way, perfumers are being encouraged to reduce the number of notes in a perfume’s composition, with the aim of producing a more direct product. For lovers of vintage fragrances, legibility can be an anathema but, personally, I have no issue with the principle behind the concept. Nor it appears, does Delphine Jelk. Enter Habit Rouge Rouge Prive.
Top Notes:Bergamot, Ginger
Middle Notes: Orange Blossom, Iris
Base Notes: Leather, Patchouli, Vanilla
As can be seen from the notes list, Rouge Prive maintains the structure of Habit Rouge (bergamot, floral, vanillic leather), but switches out or culls a number of the traditional accords that were contained within the original. Gone are the cologne-esque elements. Gone too are the powdery rose and carnation. The leather, meanwhile, has been amped up and modernised - more akin to Tom Ford’s Tuscan Leather than Knize 10. Whisper it quietly, but it also seems that Jelk has snuck an oud accord in to the base too.
Given the number of changes, you could be forgiven for thinking that Rouge Prive would end up smelling completely different to the EdT, but fans of the OG need not worry - this is still unmistakably Habit Rouge. To paraphrase Persolaise (my favourite reviewer of perfumes), it’s like the whole perfume has simply been redrawn with clean bold lines. The bergamot continues to shimmer and, in spite of the florals being listed as Orange Blossom and Iris, the ultimate accord generated is still interpreted by my nose as being a rose. It is very much a rouge perfume as opposed to an orange or purple one (which is, incidentally, roughly what you get if you combine an iris hue and orange on a colour wheel…).
Where Rouge Prive differs to the EdT is in its brute strength. The leather note really does have a serious kick to it and, given that, the perfume is pulled from the bottom up, as opposed to the top diffusing off the skin to reveal the heart.
Whilst I’ve always found the EdT to perform quite well, the longevity of the Prive is genuinely outstanding, again due to the material in the base. Pleasingly though, the dry down still does maintain the powdered amber facets contained within the original. It’s a superb flanker that updates Habit Rouge without necessarily ripping up the original composition.
Habit Rouge Parfum (2024)
Not to rest on their laurels, Guerlain have now revisited Habit Rouge again in 2024, introducing a parfum version to go alongside new stablemates Vetiver Parfum and L’Homme Ideal Parfum.
I’ll say in advance that I’m a little sceptical of the allure of parfums myself, as I often find that the actual performance difference between fragrance concentrations can be completely counter-intuitive (I have EdTs that vastly out-perform EDPs and Parfums, both in terms of silage and longevity). In addition, given that Rouge Prive was already quite beastly, the necessity for a parfum to be made only a year later seems curious to me.
Parking those views for the moment though, the theme across these three new releases appears to be alcohol. In the case of Habit Rouge, the drink of choice is listed as rum, although there seems to be confusion in that regard, with Jelk being quoted in the marketing as saying:
For Habit Rouge Le Parfum, I Created a leathery vanilla liqueur with plenty of bold bourbon-inspired intensity
Perhaps Guerlain are suggesting that the perfume has been matured in bourbon casks? Hmm. In any event, the notes list for this one is as follows:
Bergamot, Vanilla, Rum, Patchouli
Well, I did say perfumers were streamlining their notes list, didn’t I!
What’s most striking to me about the Parfum is, firstly, how base heavy it is (we’re talking sub-woofer level) but, secondly, how patchouli dominant it is - there’s a definite chocolate element in that respect, but my nose also detects something slightly medicinal, smoked, and perhaps even burnt (think coffee beans). When combined with the vanilla, the result is a perfume that very much lies within the domain of the gourmand.
This is somewhat a blessing and a curse - if you’re not a particular fan of the EdT or Prive’s floral elements, you’re likely to get along a lot better with the Parfum. At the same time though, I’d argue that the floral heart of Habit Rouge is, to a large extent, key to its DNA, and vastly reducing the components that make this element ‘sing’ lead to a very different fragrance profile.
My second critique is that the perfume, generally, feels less balanced than Rouge Prive. I have no issue with the concept of a Habit Rouge that focuses on patchouli - readers of my previous pieces will know that I’m a huge fan of the note - I just wished that, on a technical level, the Parfum still maintained a decent top end. As it is, the whole thing sits very deep against the skin, with any radiance from the bergamot being buried by the heavier materials. This ultimately leads to a fragrance that, rather than being a sparkling rouge, comes across as a heavy-set chocolate and beige. Because of that, I can’t decide whether or not I’ve truly fallen for the Parfum.
That being said, you honestly couldn’t go wrong with any one of these three and I’ve no doubt they’ll appeal to different elements of the fragrance market. I look forward to Jelk’s next flanker in 2025, even if these variations are becoming a little bit akin to Marge Simpson’s Chanel jacket…!

I don’t think this is a popular opinion but I recently experienced a retaliatory wreck and would love to see the broader communities opinion.
Opinion: lapped cars SHOULD fight for positions and the expectation should not be to just ride.
Reasoning: iRacing is a really unique service which allows you to join races (typically shorter in length) and work to develop racecraft with other drivers in real time. Drivers have to make real time decisions and react to real people’s thoughts lap after lap. Additionally, we race real people but rarely race them more than once with the exception of the smaller series which have diehard fans racing weekly or in extremely high splits with you see a lot of the same people. Regardless, I iRacing’s large player base allows for you to race against unique people with different styles and skill level which only develops a drivers ability to navigate different situations and develop racecraft.
While these are important benefits to the service, it still has its flaws such as the scoring system sometimes trapping cars laps down when a caution comes out during a green flag pit stop (not the fact that pitted cars getting caught a lapped down but also scoring issues coming to one to go. Point is, things sometimes glitch out a little). Sometimes cars who are not off the pace get stuck a lap down and it seems there is a lot of folks who expect lapped cars to pull over, never attempt to pass (regardless of safety and pace) and just continue to ride for the remainder of the race.
I think this is unreasonable since 1) drivers should have the right to race, 2) two cars with similar pace may be able to have fun learning and battling, and 3) it is a simulator or game which does not have the same responsibility of respect as maybe a joined league or real life.
1) if someone is being safe, and are not drastically off the pace, they should be able to run their race and have the right to challenge anyone on the track. Lapped cars should have the right to race the leader if they are going a lap down (as long as they are safe and following the sporting code) and race anyone in the field to remain the lucky dog. To this point though, the expectation still stands that lapped cars must be predictable and lead lap cars bear the responsibility to lap safely.
2) these races are short and sometimes the only drivers around you are on a different lap. If you have the chance to have fun and actually race, you should do that and enjoy the battle of competition. Some of the most fun I have had is battling slower cars with a tire advantage so our pace balances out for a few laps. It’s a dynamic of racing which I believe is very under appreciated and encouraged (again, with safety in mind). To this point, if you don’t like the racing of this group of drivers, there will be another race soon and you will have a different experience. The point is, regardless of lap, you should have fun with who you are racing.
3) one of the main arguments of the driver who wrecked me was that I should have had more respect for lead lap cars (while this is only my POV, take it with a grain of salt since I am not providing an example, this is just a discussion rather than the “who’s responsible” posts). If a driver is running alternate lines and is being predictable, they should be able to race whoever they want. Just because a driver is a lap ahead, does not guarantee more respect is owed to that driver as there are multiple reasons someone can go a lap down beyond being slow. You earn respect for driving cleanly and racing clean, not because of your position on track or the number on your roof.
TL;DR: lapped cars should be able to race anyone at any point as long as they are safe and following the sporting code. This is a game after all and no one should be forced to pull over for you to have fun at a racing game.
Stay tuned for the “AITA” post lol

If you’d told me that the visitation with my son, an event that happened only every other weekend, would be extended indefinitely, I would’ve jumped with joy. In the end, I wish the circumstances under which they unfolded had never happened.
The clouds were sightless in the clear sky the day Jasmine dropped off my boy, a perfect day to play a little catch in the yard or go fishing at the nearby stock pond. Cyrus bounced out of the car and ran joyously toward me, unaware that his old man was a perpetual fuck up that had broken up the family in the first place. Oh well.
It was a happy day, the birds sang their old nostalgic tunes of a lost Summer in my own childhood. It was warm, not too warm, and the neighborhood was buzzing with excitement as the Spring showers had come to a close. It was as close as it could get to perfect.
The evening light danced against the tree tops, turning a violet hue as dusk began to settle in. Burnt orange water reflected the dying sun as it continued sinking away to nothing. We grabbed our tackle box, the giant beige one my uncle gifted me before he was stolen by cancer, and filled it with the empty, crumpled up bits of plastic that once held bologna sandwiches. As I said, it was a perfect day, very reminiscent of my own childhood.
We’d thrown the fat bluegill back that we had caught, I hadn’t felt like messing with cleaning and cooking them. Instead, dinner would likely be mac n’ cheese with some cut up hot dogs, a staple in my household whether or not Cyrus was visiting. Hopefully I hadn’t run through Oscar Meyer supply.
Home never felt so lonely, the walls never seemed so barren of old family pictures when Cyrus wasn’t around. Sometimes, he only added to the pain. I would never tell him that, though.
Even with the faucet turned all the way up, the water dribbled out and made boiling pasta a very patient game. Cyrus was babbling about some game he was playing on my phone. ‘He’s just a kid’, I thought, and pretended to be interested in whatever the hell he was talking about.
The sun had vanished and the moon was especially bright that night, having slid nearly halfway to its crescendo before dinner was finally done. Cyrus had stolen my phone to the living room, staring at the bright characters absentmindedly as a nondescript Netflix show played in the background.
“Here, buddy, sorry about the wait”, I sat the bowl of neon yellow stuff in front of him, the pink scramble of hotdog jutting out made me feel… a little ashamed? I plopped down next to him and flipped through the various titles on Netflix, most of which I had already seen a couple of times. Cyrus tossed the phone aside and picked at the mess of ‘food’ in the bowl. I can’t remember if he took a bite or not.
“Dad!”, I jumped, reeling from the doze I had fallen in. If Jasmine was here, it would’ve been such a perfect day, such a perfect day. Instead, this is where it all fell apart.
He massaged furiously at his temples, his knees pulled tight against his heaving chest.
“What’s the matter, are you okay?”, I jumped from the couch and got on one knee, putting my hands around his shoulders. I watched helplessly as Cyrus twisted and contorted his body, trying to run away from whatever pain was in his head.
Suddenly he fell still.
I studied him for a while, nearly on the verge of tears as his body had become totally limp. Then, a noise. At first it was quiet, then it grew and grew until it filled the room with totality. It’s hard to describe that noise, almost like a wind turbine if you were up close to it.
From behind the couch, just above my sons head, it peeked at me. Its thick, black fingers ended at sharp, nailess points. Just as I met its eyes, it slithered behind the couch and that’s when Cyrus awoke in a screaming fit.
I jumped awake again, Cyrus sitting next to me as pale as a sheet. His eyes were bulging, glued to the blank TV ahead.
I couldn’t help but check behind the couch, to make sure it wasn’t still there. Then, to my son who was still staring at the nothing on the television. His mouth was hanging open, just enough to allow the continuous stream of drool to fall out.
I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and cleaned the odd amount of drool from his chin. There wasn’t a thermometer in the house but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he was burning up. A fever, I thought.
I carried the boy to his bedroom, feeling as though I was being watched the entire way, and tucked him into bed. A doctors visit would soon be on the horizon. I returned to the couch in the living room, careful to keep my gaze fixed on the TV and nothing else. Truthfully, I was too afraid to look in the shadowy corners.
That night was filled with nightmares.
The next day I rang Jasmine, letting her know that Cy was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but Jas was immunocompromised (she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before we divorced) and my son would be staying with me for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t complain, I didn’t get to see him nearly enough as it was.
That day was very much the opposite of the previous, the sky was gloomy and spits of rain fell consistently from dawn to nightfall.
The doctor had said that Cyrus had a particularly severe ear infection, but nothing that some antibiotics couldn’t fix. He sent us home with a tube of the stuff, my wallet noticeably lighter.
“Apply some of this twice a day, once in the morning and once before bedtime”, the older gentleman had said. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, though there seemed to be something else behind his wary eyes.
He stopped me again as I turned to leave.
“Sir…”, he started, though he seemed to study his words carefully, “your son kept mentioning something he called the flumes”.
I shrugged, the only time I had heard the word was in reference to a ravine on the edge of town where we’d all smoke pot in high school. Nothing struck me as odd about it at the time.
“They come from the flumes, those noises, those noises, he kept saying”, the doctor pushed closer, his eyes growing wild. I stepped backward, tugging at Cy’s hand as we left the building wordlessly.
Aside from my busy mind, the car ride home was utterly silent. I could hear my boys heavy, labored breaths all the way from the backseat. ‘Inner ear infection, my ass’, I thought.
After laying Cyrus back down for bed, I fixed him a bowl of instant chicken and noodles and decided to give Jasmine a call. The phone rang endlessly before the robotic voice indicated that the caller wasn’t available. I tried once more but gave up after it rang a few more times. Probably sleeping.
I returned to the couch, deciding to rewatch Nightmare on Elm Street for the fourth or fifth time.
After a while, I decided to put on cable, growing tired of the listless titles on Netflix. I was never too interested in the local news, but today seemed as good as any to catch up on the towns happenings. The Grantfield Gators girls softball team had advanced to sectionals and one of the townsfolk were celebrating their 100th birthday.
A ‘Breaking News’ graphic slid below the frazzled newslady on the television. Wherever she was, it sure looked familiar.
‘Wild dog shits on mayors front yard’, I laughed at my own stupid joke and surely turned as white as Cyrus had the previous night as the lady on the TV continued.
“A local woman was found tied to a tree and disemboweled at the scene. Police are saying various symbols were branded all over the womans body, and the material used to bind her to the Elm tree was ‘of unusual property’”, she continued on for a while but I hadn’t noticed, the air had fallen heavy and that familiar warbling had filled the room again.
Heavy footsteps slammed up the staircase at an otherworldly pace. Up the staircase and towards my sons room.
I ran, I swear I ran as fast as I could but I knew… I knew.
When I got to his room, he was gone, the curtains blowing aimlessly in the wind as the window had been slammed open so hard that the glass had shattered in the panes. The bowl of chicken and noodles sat on the bedside table, untouched.
I tried calling Jasmine again and again and again. Still, no answer.
I wanted to write this, to whoever may be reading, so that you know where to look if I don’t return. I know where my son is, I know where Jasmine is.
The flumes took them, or whatever might be lurking in it.