I’m male identifying and presenting, just graduated, and am about to start a clerkship in the Southwest. The court in which I’ll be working is located in the desert and highs above 100°F are not abnormal. I’ve been told that suits and ties are still expected for to day-to-day work.
I’ve recently lost a bunch of weight, but I have one grey suit that fits, along with a navy blazer, tweed sport coat, and a couple pairs of grey slacks/khakis. I’ve got some button downs of various formality, but am planning on supplementing with a few white and blue OCBDs.
Given that I have a grey suit, I assume I should get at least one navy one and maybe a couple more in grey/navy with patterns (e.g., chalkstripe, prince of wales check, windowpane).
I have a pair of oxblood wingtips, black oxfords, and a couple dress boots that might be appropriate. I’m thinking I’ll pick up a pair of mid-tan wingtips w/ matching belt as well.
Ties aren’t an issue. I have several solid or rep options.
Am I missing anything?

Hello Reddit. Below is a one-shot designed for four level 8 characters. I would expect this to take approximately 2 sessions of a few hours (roughly 6 hours in total) to run through in its entirety. Your mileage may vary depending on how quickly your table handles combat.
You can find a PDF of this adventure along with battlemaps here.
Here's a quick adventure overview:
This is a combat focused adventure that takes place on an unnaturally frozen lake outside the mountain town of Maul, though it could be set on any lake of your choosing.
The players are tasked with killing a Frost Giant named Tirrog who has recently descended from nearby mountains. With the aid of a white dragon, he has frozen the lake and created an icy palace atop it.
The players must survive a series of challenging encounters before confronting Tirrog and his enslaved white dragon beneath his palace. After successfully ending the threat, the players will be rewarded with the favor of Maul’s residents.
If you get the chance to run this, or even just look through the whole thing, I would love feedback!
Here is the rest of the adventure:

For the DM: What’s Going on Here?

Some additional context just for the Dungeon Master:
· Tirrog, the Frost Giant, was cast out of his clan after losing a duel with his father.
· He stole a Young Adult White Dragon named Bymraynyl and used her power to freeze a nearby lake and construct an icy palace.
· Tirrog resides in a cavern beneath the palace, awaiting the challenge of Maul’s mightiest warriors, hoping to regain his clan’s favor by winning.
· Bymraynyl, the white dragon, is imprisoned by Tirrog and will only attack the players if they fail to free her.

Adventure Hooks

When determining why your players are involved with ending Tirrog’s icy presence, feel free to use any, or all, of the below Adventure Hooks when discussing this adventure with your players.

Aiding the Guards of Maul

The adventurers are approached by Brenlanna Orina, the Captain of the Guards of Maul. Brenlanna explains the situation caused by Tirrog is dire as his forces roam the countryside and many townsfolk have gone missing.
The constant threat has left the town’s defenses stretched thin and she needs capable adventurers to end his reign of terror. She emphasizes that defeating Tirrog will not only bring peace to Maul, but also earn the gratitude and favor of its people.

Ecological Balance

Mort, A local druid, approaches the adventurers to express his deep concerns about the unnatural freezing of the lake. Mort explains that the frozen lake has disrupted the local ecosystem, causing harm to wildlife and plants.
He implores the adventurers to defeat Tirrog and restore the natural balance. In return, the druid offers their knowledge of the land, rare herbs, and a powerful artifact as a reward. Restoring the lake to its natural state will help the region thrive once more.

Dragon Hunters

Word has travelled far and wide that Bymraynyl, a white dragon, is far from its natural territory and is imprisoned by Tirrog, the frost giant.
The adventurers are from a dragon hunting guild and see this as a prime opportunity to either hone their skills of slaying dragons or set free a majestic creature, allowing it to grow and become a more challenging hunt.

Before the Adventure Begins

This adventure begins by introducing your players at the gates of Tirrog’s frozen palace. They will be battling their way through Tirrog’s defenses, seeking to challenge him. Share the below excerpt with your players as they create their characters:
Your journeys have brought you to Maul, a small mountain town renowned for its gladiatorial games held beneath the mountain of Pike Rise.
Word has travelled quickly that Tirrog, a frost giant, has descended from the peaks of Pike Rise with Bymraynyl, a white dragon. They have frozen a nearby lake and constructed an icy palace. Frost is spreading farther from the lake with each passing day and Tirrog’s forces patrol the countryside, pillaging small villages.
For your own various reasons, you have agreed to help end Tirrog’s reign of terror by any means necessary.
As the game master, you should note down the passive perception for each character as this will be referenced in the adventure for ambush encounters.
The encounters provided in this adventure are balanced for four level 8 characters. To adjust for fewer players, consider removing ¼ of the monsters’ health pools for each player less than four. To adjust for more players, consider adding additional Duergar Berserkers or Ice Mephits in each encounter.

Approaching the Palace

When your players are ready to begin their adventure, start by reading the below excerpt to kick things off:
As you approach the lake, a chill unlike any you’ve felt before cuts through your armor. Before you is an unnaturally frozen expanse, its surface a flawless sheet of ice stretching as far as the eye can see. The air is eerily still, and the usual sounds of wildlife are absent, replaced only by the whispers of wind across the frozen wasteland.
In the center of this icy domain stands an imposing ice palace, its glistening walls reflect the pale sunlight from above. Four watchtowers, each 40 feet tall and crafted entirely of ice, stand at the corners of the palace.
The front door of the palace, a massive slab of ice 20 feet wide, looms before you. Its surface is intricately carved with frost patterns, but it is sealed shut, offering no immediate passage into the stronghold. The sense of foreboding is palpable, as if the palace itself is a living entity, waiting to challenge those who dare approach.
[Player A], please describe your character, what they are doing, and where they are on the map. (Ask this of all players before continuing)

Palace Locations

P1. Four Watchtowers

To open the palace's front door, the adventurers must pull four levers located at the tops of the four icy watchtowers. Each tower is guarded by a Duergar Berserker and two Ice Mephits. Engaging one group will alert the other towers.
Ice bridges connect the left and right towers and are considered difficult terrain. The 40-foot towers are nearly impossible to climb without magic or specialized gear. Once all four levers are pulled, the palace door will melt.

P2. Palace Entrance

The palace's interior boasts 30-foot-high ceilings supported by large ice pillars. Braziers of blue flame illuminate four ice sculptures, an icy throne, and the bones of Tirrog's unsuccessful challengers. In the center of the floor is a 20-foot circle of intricate carvings, which opens when two Ice Elementals are defeated.
Two Ice Elementals are hidden within the ice walls, ready to ambush the players once they all enter the palace. Upon defeating them, the circle in the floor melts away, revealing a 100-foot-deep hole with a wooden ladder descending beneath the lake.

P3. Beneath the Lake

The floors in all subsequent rooms are ice and considered difficult terrain. There are four pairs of Ice Cleats in room P4 which can aid with traversing the rooms. Most of the walls are perfectly sculpted ice, 25-feet-high, but some areas have caved in due to lake pressure or creature damage. All doorways are wooden and unlocked unless noted otherwise.
There are no torches in this room and constant howling wind can be heard from room P6.

P4. Ice Bunks

This well-lit room of ice contains four beds and supplies for the Duergar. If the boxes are searched, the players will easily find four pairs of Ice Cleats.
There are 2 Duergar Berserkers in this room and if engaged, they will alert the Duergar in room P5.
A DC 18 investigation check will uncover a +2 Greataxe hidden in an icy cavity underneath one of the beds. There is a small supply room that connects P4 to P5.

P5. Leisure Hall

This room is well-lit and contains tables, mostly empty casks of beer, and a rack of mugs along the wall. There is 1 Duergar Berserker and 1 Duergar Priest in this room. They will alert the Duergar in room P4 if engaged.
One of the casks has 6 servings of Mimic’s Brew left in it.

P6. The Frozen Hall

This area is the coldest room in the Palace and there is a deafening wind constantly blowing. It is well-lit and the entryway to this room is supported by two pillars.
There is a magical ice statue at the end of the hallway that is constantly blowing damaging ice winds. There is a stone on the back of the statue which deactivates it.
The wind blows from the statue and ends just before it reaches the room with the pillars. A creature can be damaged by the wind once per round. If a creature is in the presence of the icy wind, they must make a DC 17 Constitution saving throw, taking 22 (5d8) cold damage on a failed save, or half as much on a success.
The doorways to P10 and P11 are locked with padlocks. They can both be unlocked with a DC 17 Thieves’ Tools check.

P7. Prison Cell

This room contains one locked cell. It takes a Thieves’ Tools check (DC 15) to unlock the cell. There is also a chair made of ice sitting in the corner of this room.
Zathea, a female Duergar Berserker, is locked in the cell and visibly malnourished.
If Zathea is freed from her cell, she will warn the adventurers of the troll ahead, tell them how to deactivate the stone statue, and ask that they consider letting Bymraynyl go

P8. Lumber Storage

This unlit room is where lumber for fires is kept. There are a few axes for cutting wood. Three of the logs in this room are Mimics but will only attack if the players actively search through the logs.

P9. The Crumbling Hall

This illuminated hallway is visibly damaged. A Perception check (DC 15) will notice claw marks as the primary source of damage.
The doorway to P10 is locked with a padlock and can be unlocked with a DC 17 Thieves’ Tools check.

P10. Troll’s Den

This room is not lit, contains the bones of many dead fish, and smells putrid. There is 1 Troll in this room.
A DC 17 Investigation check will find a gemmed golden lure in the carcass of a dead fish worth approximately 50 gold pieces.

P11. Bymraynyl, The White Dragon

This room contains Bymraynyl, a young adult white dragon, who has just freed herself from Tirrog’s chains. She is visibly wounded and only has half of her health.
She will try to reason with the adventurers to let her go but is ready to fight if they will not.
If the players choose to free Bymraynyl, she will excavate a small amount of ice and reveal a +2 Breastplate hidden in the ice, which they are free to take.

P12. Tirrog, The Frost Giant

Tirrog sits patiently in this well-lit icy throne room, waiting for his challengers. Before engaging with the adventurers, he gently pats a large wooden chest next to his throne and says in Giant:
I took all that I could from Pike Rise and it’s all yours should you defeat me. But with your heads, I can return home. Let us see who will be rewarded this day.
The chest contains 15 sapphires worth 25 gold each, 2,000 gold, 2 potions of greater healing, and an Everwarm Blanket.

Random Encounters

Roll 1 4-sided die every hour to determine which monsters return to the palace from their patrol around the lake. All monsters should roam freely as you see fit.

Result	Monsters returning from Patrol
1	3 Duergar Berserkers & 2 Ice Mephits
2	1 Ice Elemental & 4 Ice Mephits
3	1 Troll
4	1 Ice Elemental & 1 Duergar Berserker

Concluding the Adventure
Upon defeating Tirrog, the players will have reached the end of this adventure. If you and your players wish to continue adventuring from this point, this would be an appropriate milestone to increase their character levels to 9.
Thank you for playing through The Frozen Palace of Tirrog. I hope you and your players had a fun time with this adventure!

Magical Items

Everwarm Blanket

Adventuring Gear, very rare
This quilted blanket is surrounded by a comfortably warm aura.
While this blanket is in your inventory, you do not suffer any exhaustion caused by sources of cold.

Ice Cleats

Adventuring Gear, common
These blue metal cleats can be attached to any footwear.
While equipped, ice is not considered difficult terrain when moving across it.

Mimic’s Brew (Brown Ale)

Beer, Uncommon
When you drink this beer, you can change your appearance as though you casted Alter Self for one hour.
An hour after you consume this beer, your tongue hangs from your mouth until you finish a long rest.
The bottom of this potent brown ale is a small layer of slime

Tirrog’s Helmet

Helmet, rare (requires attunement)
You gain a +1 bonus to AC and Constitution saving throws while you where this helmet.
While wearing this helmet, you can gain the “enlarge” effect of the enlarge/reduce spell for 1d4 hours (no concentration required). Once used, this effect cannot be used again until you complete a long rest.

My son is extremely thin and it's very hard to find shorts that fit. I've made a bunch of shorts for him from boughten and free patterns everything is not the right fit. I do have one pair that is homemade that I thrifted. I decided I would trace the pattern pieces and add seam allowance to try to duplicate them. I'm noticing the front and back piece seems to be identical. That seems wierd to me but is it possible? He's very small he is three years old but wears something between 6-12 month clothes because he has a growth condition. Any advice is welcome I think I will try it regardless this weekend because I have nothing to lose.

Thank you for all the time you have dedicated to our success this year!!! We don’t know how the test will go, but you’ve made us feel so prepared!!! From your daily insta Qs to the hour long reviews, your resources are so helpful (and free)!!!! I truly feel “dressed for success!”

https://imgur.com/a/iKNktR9
A lot of manga are in like new condition
Please comment if interested in anything, some prices are negotiable, feel free to offer!
I would consider shipping internationally (packages under 4lb preferred)
Most volumes are in great condition, will specify if not
Some volumes shown in photos have been sold in previous listings
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
COMPLETE SETS
Jojo's P1 1-3, P2 1-4, P3 1-10, P4 1-9, Jojo's P5 1-3 (29 vols): $440 (willing to sell individual parts)
Naruto Shadow Box Set: $400
Rurouni Kenshin 1-28 (missing 20): $175
Jojo's Parts 1+2 COMPLETE, 3 1-7 (14 vols): $175
Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro 1-14 COMPLETE: $110
Promised Neverland 1-20 COMPLETE: $90
Tokyo Ghoul 1-14 COMPLETE: $90
Death Note Black 1-6 COMPLETE: $65
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LARGE SETS
10 book Junji Ito lot: $200
Bleach 1-48 + both booklets: $200
My Hero Academia 1-31: $160
Komi Can't Communicate 1-25: $160
Vinland Saga 1-9: $140
Naruto Lot (volumes 1-23, 6 stories, Scarlet Spring, Chibi Sasuke 1-3, Hidden Leaf Headbands, Bookmarks, Poster): $140
Jujutsu Kaisen 0-19: $130
Beastars 1-16: $120
Angel Sanctuary 1-18: $120
Fullmetal Alchemist Omni 1-8 (vol 1-24): $100
My Dress Up Darling 1-8: $90
Seven Deadly Sins 1-18: $90
One Punch Man 1-14: $90
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles 4-13 + 1-4 Japanese: $90
Attack On Titan 1-17: $90
Toilet Bound Hanako Kun 0-11: $90
Promised Neverland 1-20 (missing 4): $85
My Hero Academia 1-20: $85
Made in Abyss 1-9: $80
Rent a Girlfriend 1-10: $80
Hitorijime My Hero 1-10: $70
Blade of the Immortal Omnibus 1-5: $70
Way of the House Husband 1-9: $70
Berserk Deluxe 1-2: $70
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SMALL/CHEAP SETS (these are priced cheaper and can only be purchased in an order totaling atleast $75)
One Punch Man 1-7, 15, 16, 18-21: $75 (faded and yellowed)
Chainsaw Man 1-11: $50
Mob Psycho 1-6 + Reigen 1: $50
Black Bird 1-9: $40
Hi-Score Girl 1-6: $40
Quintessential Quintuplets 1-9: $40
Komi Can't Communicate 1-9: $40
Perfect World 1-9: $40
Rent a GF 1-7: $30
Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan 1-2: $30
Bakemonogatari 2-3, Nisemonogatari 1-2, Kizumonogatari (Wound Tale, some water damage): $30
Welcome Back, Alice 1-4: $25
Cactus's Secret 1-4 COMPLETE: $25
One Punch Man 1-4: $20
Demon Slayer 1-5: $20
Vinland Saga 1-2: $20
Call of the Night 1-3: $15
My Hero Academia 1-4: $15
Oshi No Ko 1-2: $10
No Longer Heroine 1-2: $10
Shy 1-2: $10
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
SINGLES (These are priced cheaper and can only be purchased in an order totaling atleast $75)
Apollo's Song (Osamu Tezuka): $25
Dog Ningen Uncensored 1: $10
Soul Eater PE 1: $10
Fullmetal Alchemist Fullmetal Edition 1: $10
Orange 1: $10
Blade of the Immortal 1: $10
Ibitsu: $10
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
FREE (One can be added to purchases of atleast $200 total)
https://imgur.com/a/QfxkEZ4
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I have a ton of OP Gold Foils and misc Jojo's volumes if interested. I also have a Soul Eater Liz Funko, a Naruto Figure and a big Deku Figure, if anyone is interested
I also have some Studio Ghibli Steelbooks
I also have a complete set of One Piece Gold Foils that are in the best condition I've seen. Volumes 1-23 for $750 shipped. G5, Mint Condition, all sleeved. I know it is a lot but that is my price as I don't think it is easy to come across sets in this condition.
I also have a complete set of Inuyasha 1-56 in great condition I'd consider selling as well.
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If you are interested in anything, feel free to ask for more photos or details.
I will prioritize making larger sales.
I will only add the smaller sets/singles to a larger purchase.
Please comment and PM any interest
THANK YOU!

Today I'd like to answer this very interesting question: Can two victims of abuse be in a healthy relationship or form a health relationship?
Let's start with how we see relationships. When we have something in common with someone, like going through similar tough situations, we naturally feel connected. Think about two people who have both undergone abuse in their past relationships. They understand each other because they've been through the more or the same things. So when they talk, they really get each other because they share that problem. They’ve both been manipulated, mistreated, used by their partners.
So when you both have the same problem, you might think, "Hey, this person gets me." And if you're also attracted to them, you might believe they're someone who truly understands what you're going through. You might even see it as a chance for a relationship that helps you both heal and grow. But here's the big question: Is it actually a healthy relationship?
It's not a healthy relationship at first. This is because both people are still stuck in the past and haven't moved on. If they've truly healed, then it can be okay and healthy. But if they're still hurting from their past experiences, trying to be in a relationship won't make them happy. They need to learn to let go of their past and the pain it caused. Otherwise, they'll carry all that baggage into the new relationship. So it's like two people coming together with a lot of baggage from their past, instead of starting fresh. It’s more like a blind leading the blind.
Of course, all that baggage will weigh heavily on both of them. And while they may feel connected because of their shared experiences, it's those very experiences that can keep them stuck. When the foundation of your relationship is built on your past struggles, it's hard to let go of that story. Healing isn't about forgetting your past, but it's about not letting it define you. But when your relationship is based on that story, you might not be motivated to work on it because it feels familiar and comfortable, even if it's not healthy. If you let go of the baggage, you might feel like you're losing the relationship itself, because the relationship is built on that baggage. You might think that holding onto the baggage is better because at least you have someone to talk to who understands, rather than facing your own inner struggles. But holding onto that baggage might prevent both of you from truly growing and finding happiness.
At the end of the day, we often seek comfort and familiarity. Our minds are drawn to what feels safe and known. This is why two people who have shared problems might find themselves in a relationship together. You might argue, "But Edwin, I want to be in a relationship with them and then work on this together."
No, there's nothing like that. While you may commit to working on it together, people have different levels of growth. One person might not be motivated to work on themselves while the other is. So using the excuse of "we'll work on it together" might just be a way to avoid facing your own fears or your own inner emptiness. Healing is a journey that each person has to take individually; it's not something two people can do together.
It's your own personal journey. Even if you work on it together in the relationship, you're still the one who has to look inward and confront your struggles. A therapist can help by creating a space for you to process things, but ultimately, healing is mostly self-healing. No external force can heal you completely; it's something you have to do for yourself.
It's ultimately up to you to confront your inner demons. While outside forces can offer guidance, you're the one who has to do the work. Two victims of abuse might get stuck wanting the relationship to succeed, but stepping back and focusing on personal healing shows real commitment. Once you've worked on yourself, then you can consider a new relationship.
In the early stages, it might seem like the relationship is working because of the mutual understanding, but both partners are still wounded, and wounded people can't fully help each other heal. Sometimes an outside intervention is needed. While you may want a conscious relationship, it's not always easy to achieve when you’re still very unconscious. It's not a guaranteed solution, but it's not the best approach to focus on relationships if you don't understand yourself first.
Finally, if you believe that you need a relationship to heal, it's important to take a step back and recognize that your past relationships have already highlighted areas within yourself that need healing. Now, you just need the courage to face and heal those wounds instead of seeking distractions or temporary fixes like a ‘relationship with someone who understands you’
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

I posted this in divorce too...just looking for insight.
7 months..
Long story short- my husband(m33) and I (f29) fight constantly. 3 weeks ago, in the heat of it, he said he'd rather be alone than deal with this, and he never wanted to see my face again.
So I kicked him out.
It's important to know that for 7 years we've been living with my parents- we have a living room and full bathroom and bedroom. Shared kitchen and rest of the house. We pay 600 for rent. He moved in while I was finishing school, and then we decided to buy stuff instead of save for a house.
2 Halloweens ago, he up and leaves during a fight. Says he needs space. Went to his sisters for 3 or 4 days. Came back.
This Jan. Did the same thing. No communication. Just needed a break from the fighting. Didn't tell me when he was coming back. Didn't know if he was going to. He came back after 3 weeks. Of course, nothing changed. We went back to the same patterns.
Now. 3 weeks ago I kicked him out. Within 1 week, I had moved all his stuff to within 30 minutes from him, well packed and organized (he is living 2 hours away by his family). He's already found an apartment and is moved in. It's so tiny, we both could not live there.
Before he moved, we were going to have the debt paid off by Dec. (Debt we both accrued, but that I mainly have been the bill payer and stressed about getting out of debt alone. He could never care either way.) That is 7 months away now. Also, isn't going to happen because he isn't there.
Now, there is a large sum of debt in my name, but to split it let's just say that he agreed to pay me 500 for 20 months to help pay off half the debt that he helped get.
I told him that before I move out from where I am, I want to be debt free finally. Yes, I'll have a car payment and yes I understand debt from if we have a house. But not 7 credit cards and 3 loans. That is killing me.
So, I Said that I want 12 months. So we figure stuff out, figure out who we are alone, decide if we want to be together, figure out how to communicate effectively etc. I am willing to meet half way for dates, and even go to his apartment.
He didn't like the time. Fine. I pulled it all the way back to 7 months. The original goal for getting our debt paid off. (Even though originally he'd promised that we could also travel, so really we wouldn't have moved before summer of 2025 if things had stayed the same.)
Keep in mind: I met this guy on a dating app, and he'd lived 2 hours away when I first met him.
So, I am offering this deal: 7 months of long distance, texting, calling, facetiming, figuring out who we are as individuals, what we can be as a couple, doing counseling, dates, weekends together, etc.
He's saying I move with him right now (even though I can't just move my job, and he doesn't make enough to pay all of my minimums on debt.) Or we get a divorce. There is no working on stuff long distance.
I know I'm setting myself up for criticism. I don't want to give up on my marriage. But I don't see how, if we wouldn't or couldn't figure out how to talk to each other nicely living together in one space, how will we be able to magically do it in another space?
Internet: I know everyone is different and not everyone can do the same things- but am I crazy for asking for 7 months for the things i listed above? (Keep in mind at 7 months, I am willing to move there, but ultimately I'd like to live somewhere between the 2 families or even in a different state we both love.) (Also, his lease us month to month. So, we wouldn't have to worry about that.)
(Also Also, sorry for my crap writing. On mobile.)

I was going to say "acting" but living is more appropriate. She spent dinner stewing and refusing to eat because she "doesn't eat (meal she cooked under her own free will)" and getting clearly more passive-aggressive with my other parent for trying to see if she's okay and asking if she ate (read: she wants us to beg her to eat and then won't anyway). After that she stomped off until she had a cigarette.
It's always this. She just can't handle being any amount of stressed without the whole world knowing, and then when we do 90% of the time she won't let us help because then she won't have a problem. Comparing her to a toddler is too much for her.
She doesn't bathe, she doesn't work, she doesn't learn the app that she has to get the job she *did* get, everyone's out to get her but she won't make friends, her back hurts but she won't do shit to help it, her breathing sucks but she won't quit smoking (note: I realize that's hard, but frustrations aside, she's quit before! For years!), the HR lady was rude (sure Jan), she won't clean most of the house, she'll martyr herself over cooking things she doesn't want to eat and then won't cook anything that tastes because she doesn't want to do the effort, she won't learn *how* to cook, she won't learn new skills from the millions of hours we spend reading or watching cooking advice, she won't even learn how to crochet things she wants to because reading patterns is to hard. My sympathy is out.
God help you if you call her out on a lie. Some base need is met when she doubles down on not eating tacos despite her eating them before. I guess if you just repeat a lie and get people to stop calling you out on it the world's a better place. Fuck me.

Selling some figures listed below to raise some funds. Shipping and fees are on the buyer. If you buy multiple figures we can work out a deal. Local pickup available in NJ if interested. Please feel free to message and ask any questions! If you think a price is high feel free to make an offer :)

1. Fate/Apocrypha - Jeanne d'Arc - Mordred - 1/7 - Type-Moon Racing ver. (Plusone, Stronger) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/793578 - $239
2. Fate/Stay Night - Tohsaka Rin/ Altria Pendragon / Nero Claudius - 1/7 - Type-Moon Racing ver. (Plusone, Stronger) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/532059 / https://myfigurecollection.net/item/498420 / https://myfigurecollection.net/item/595821 - Displayed Like New - $350 for the entire set
3. Fate/Stay Night - Altria Pendragon - 1/7 - Saber, 15th Celebration Dress Ver. (Good Smile Company) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/875965 / - Displayed Like New - $99
4. Fate/Extra CCC - Nero Claudius - 1/7 - Saber, Onepiece ver. (Alphamax) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/287579 - Displayed Like New - $110
5. Fate/Hollow Ataraxia - Altria Pendragon - 1/6 - Saber Alter, Swimsuit Ver. (Alter) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/144297- Displayed Like New - $99
6. Fate/Extra - Nero Claudius - 1/6 - Saber Extra, Swimsuit Ver. (Alter) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/236157- Displayed Like New - $99
7. Fate/Apocrypha - Semiramis - 1/8 (Aoshima, Funny Knights) - Displayed like New (base has some scratches but arent visible when displayed) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/549107 - $129
8. Fate/Grand Order - Frankenstein - 1/7 - Saber (Max Factory) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/726934 - $89
9. Fate/Grand Order: Zettai Majuu Sensen Babylonia - Ereshkigal - F:Nex - 1/7 - Lancer (FuRyu) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/947339 - $179
10. Fate/Grand Order: Zettai Majuu Sensen Babylonia - Gilgamesh - Figuarts ZERO (Bandai Spirits) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/899482 - $49
11. Nanatsu no Taizai: Fundo no Shinpan - Elizabeth Liones - B-style - 1/4 - Bunny Ver. (FREEing) - Displayed Like New (box is damaged) - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1184714 - $125
12. Nanatsu no Taizai: Fundo no Shinpan - Diane - B-style - 1/4 - Bunny Ver. (FREEing) - New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1464742 - $175
13. Bleach Sennen Kessen-hen - Hitsugaya Toushirou - Hyourinmaru - Precious G.E.M. (MegaHouse) - New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1710711 - $249
14. Bleach Sennen Kessen-hen - Hitsugaya Toushirou - Figuarts ZERO (Bandai Spirits) - New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1944614 - $69
15. Bleach - Shihouin Yoruichi - G.E.M. (MegaHouse) - New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/946017 - $139
16. Shokugeki no Souma - Nakiri Erina - B-style - 1/4 - Bare Leg Bunny Ver. (FREEing) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1266653 - $175
17. Shokugeki no Souma - Hisako Arato - B-style - 1/4 - Bunny Ver. (FREEing) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/898578 - $225
18. Shokugeki no Souma - Nakiri Alice - B-style - 1/4 - Bunny Ver. (FREEing) - Displayed Like New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1042690 - $199
19. Dragon Ball Z: - Son Goku SSJ3 - Figuarts ZERO - Dragon Fist Explosion, Exclusive Edition (Bandai Spirits) - New - https://myfigurecollection.net/item/1992417- $150

Images (many more pictures available upon request). Only listed items above are for sale.
https://imgur.com/a/qMhH9zP
My mfc profile with some reviews
https://myfigurecollection.net/profile/itchy904

Long story short- my husband and I fight constantly. 3 weeks ago, in the heat of it, he said he'd rather be alone than deal with this, and he never wanted to see my face again.
So I kicked him out.
It's important to know that for 7 years we've been living with my parents- we have a living room and full bathroom and bedroom. Shared kitchen and rest of the house. We pay 600 for rent. He moved in while I was finishing school, and then we decided to buy stuff instead of save for a house.
2 Halloweens ago, he up and leaves during a fight. Says he needs space. Went to his sisters for 3 or 4 days. Came back.
This Jan. Did the same thing. No communication. Just needed a break from the fighting. Didn't tell me when he was coming back. Didn't know if he was going to. He came back after 3 weeks. Of course, nothing changed. We went back to the same patterns.
Now. 3 weeks ago I kicked him out. Within 1 week, I had moved all his stuff to within 30 minutes from him, well packed and organized (he is living 2 hours away by his family). He's already found an apartment and is moved in. It's so tiny, we both could not live there.
Before he moved, we were going to have the debt paid off by Dec. (Debt we both accrued, but that I mainly have been the bill payer and stressed about getting out of debt alone. He could never care either way.) That is 7 months away now. Also, isn't going to happen because he isn't there.
Now, there is a large sum of debt in my name, but to split it let's just say that he agreed to pay me 500 for 20 months to help pay off half the debt that he helped get.
I told him that before I move out from where I am, I want to be debt free finally. Yes, I'll have a car payment and yes I understand debt from if we have a house. But not 7 credit cards and 3 loans. That is killing me.
So, I Said that I want 12 months. So we figure stuff out, figure out who we are alone, decide if we want to be together, figure out how to communicate effectively etc. I am willing to meet half way for dates, and even go to his apartment.
He didn't like the time. Fine. I pulled it all the way back to 7 months. The original goal for getting our debt paid off. (Even though originally he'd promised that we could also travel, so really we wouldn't have moved before summer of 2025 if things had stayed the same.)
Keep in mind: I met this guy on a dating app, and he'd lived 2 hours away when I first met him.
So, I am offering this deal: 7 months of long distance, texting, calling, facetiming, figuring out who we are as individuals, what we can be as a couple, doing counseling, dates, weekends together, etc.
He's saying I move with him right now (even though I can't just move my job, and he doesn't make enough to pay all of my minimums on debt.) Or we get a divorce. There is no working on stuff long distance.
I know I'm setting myself up for criticism. I don't want to give up on my marriage. But I don't see how, if we wouldn't or couldn't figure out how to talk to each other nicely living together in one space, how will we be able to magically do it in another space?
Internet: I know everyone is different and not everyone can do the same things- but am I crazy for asking for 7 months for the things i listed above? (Keep in mind at 7 months, I am willing to move there, but ultimately I'd like to live somewhere between the 2 families or even in a different state we both love.) (Also, his lease us month to month. So, we wouldn't have to worry about that.) (Also Also, sorry for my crap writing. On mobile.)

Things to consider before reading , the red logo stands for Gamestop and he showed the name of every song on purpose so you can go and read the lyrics.Everything he did is calculated.
First video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526 he informs us red clothes and bleeding = the stock will bleed today
2 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790713748866371690 the red logo on her dress is the Gamestop logo = red day incoming , SONG lyrics : Right now, down, down, down
3 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790717515523658119 Again u can see the red Gamestop logo on his shirt while he is getting electrocuted, "you want to be fooled"=They will try to fool you to sell ,the words " IM BACK" in red = the stock will bleed but also "IN THE SADDLE AGAIN" is green = with burden (buying while stock is red) you will get $ because green =money
4 video: https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790721293089964126 at the end you can see the Gamestop logo again and it says under "HOLD PATTERN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE" this one is self explanatory lol
5 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790725065585439065 look at some of the lyrics of this song : "Singing we're here to keep your prices down" , "You made a pig's ear, you made a mistake", "You got away with it but we lie in wait" , "you're fast to lose, you will lose" ,
6 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790728848226521547 "Youre not actually going IN to an asteroid field?" = go IN , thats why he used CAPS , again look at the lyrics of the song : "Run along now don't be glum" , "Don't be long for the end is nigh" = nigh means almost/at or to a short distance away , "Don't let moments pass along And waste before your eyes" = dont miss the moment to buy , "Come with me and the slithy toves".The asteroids that hit the spaceship on the way are the burdens before you hit the goal.
7 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790732615022195139 "bitch" captions u can see red and green flag , i guess he means dont be a bitch, stocks go red and green ,they are not always green and he used RED captions for "think its a game" which probably means that the stock going red today is just a game.
8 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790736391124774975 some of the lyrics : " What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play." , "I think I'm first but surely finish last, last."
9 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790740164848861227 lyrics " I wanna send a message to them,Teach em a lesson quickly,Publicly addressing me, disrespecting me heavily They better be lucky the way my blessings effected me"
10 video : https://twitter.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790743946764644659 start of video you can see the gamestop logo in his hand and after MR DFV says " please return your seatbacks to their full upright and locked position" = return to the game and lock in.The conversation between them , The narrator represents : The real Roaring Kitty who holds his position and does not sell and Tyler represent the person who people yesterday thought he was and in this case a person who sold his stocks.The narrator ( Roaring Kitty) asks why do people think i am you (the person who sold his stocks) and you can see for a second a guy with red shirt besides The Narrator ( Roaring Kitty ) which represent the bleeding stock.Basically ppl think he is the person who sold because its a red day.Tyler says "why would ppl confuse you with me " and then it comes scene where the guy burns his hand and on his hand you can see the Gamestop logo.After this scene he says " because we are the same person" in pink captions which probably means that he is burning like everyone right now." I invest " with green because he is invested but also "deep fuck" with red because he gets fucked aswell."I am free" in orange i guess he could mean u could be financially free if you play it right."Kittys not here , kitty went away , kittys gone" he used red captions because ppl thought he left because the stock dropped hard but the captions after are " THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE" . "IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST NIGHT AT GME FIGHT CLUB" with red captions because its not the first time GME is that red , "you have to defend the bear thesis" defend = dont sell / buy to defend against the bears you can also see the cat against them. LOOK AT THOSE CAPTIONS BTW " you ARE INsane" he used CAPS for "ARE IN" and left the rest without caps.He is basically telling ppl to go in.You can see the Gamestop logo again before the end and the captions say " the movie goes on ".
I will continue tomorrow.

Storytime (Why retake the GRE?)

I took the GRE in October 2020 at home, the old one for MS admissions, but did not end up using it for any applications. My old score for the old GRE was 323 (162V, 89th percentile; 161Q, 65th percentile) and writing was 6. I ended up getting into a decent program in applied mathematics, and needed to retake it for competitive PhD programs in biostatistics/statistics and bioinformatics for the Fall 2025 cycle. I was aiming for perfect quant and somewhat improved verbal. I am working full time doing research and writing papers and programming lots and lots, it was really challenging to prepare, but I had lots of preparation time on my side---roughly two months.

Mock Scores (Markov property)

I double majored in pure mathematics and statistics from a top public school in SoCal, but I get incredibly anxious when taking these sorts of time constrained tests, so my quant was generally not perfect at all and all over the place:

1. Two days ago I took my first mock in the morning timed and got 159V, 160Q (powerprep 2, free)
2. The same day, later in the evening, I took another mock and got 159V, 168Q (powerprep+ 2, $40)
3. The next day, I took another mock in the evening and got 161V, 164Q (powerprep+ 3, $40).

So my quant performance was all over the place. Most of the time I would literally SELECT THE WRONG ANSWER and not fully read the damn question out of anxiety.

Game day (and the day before)

I didn't get very good sleep (only slept 5hrs because I ate really late and was super worried). I made a nootropic shake concoction and had some other supplements 30-40 minutes before I started the actual exam, which helped with my sleep deficit (vegan protein, matcha powder, creatine, l-theanine shake; vitamin B complex, CoQ-10, vitamin D extra strength; and a banana). I think diet the night before is actually super important and I did heavy carb and creatine loading: finished four servings of gnocchi; 1.1lbs ribeye steak; one avocado and one salmon filet. And up until the test day, I made sure to be physically active and stuck to my workout schedule to make sure that I have the best possible VO2 max on test day. This included doing zone 2-4 cardio weekly for at least 90 minutes per week. I see lots of people give up their workout schedule, but I think that's actually detrimental.
Beyond hacking my physiology, I took my test at a test center. I think that was a big deal because the test center was super quiet and there were no distractions at all. Driving there took me 40 minutes, so I was also able to settle down emotionally and just meditate about doing well while getting there. I listened to music as well which got me in a good mood.
I had completely forgotten that we get an unofficial score as soon we finish, so I was incredibly SHOCKED at how I did. I think if I had known I get the score immediately (unofficial) I would've done worse.

Other notes (resources I liked)

GREGMAT GUY... Danke Schoen. I used mostly gregmat strategies for all my preparation.

1. I used prepswift and made a cheat sheet from prepswift concepts for verbal, quant and writing. Making the cheat sheet was really helpful.
2. In particular, I focused on a lot of the strategy guides for the verbal and quant prepswift sections.
3. I did Manhattan 5lbs first, ALL problems EXCEPT the word problem ones since those ones were too wordy for no reason compared to actual ETS problems.
4. I did no foundations for quant until after I sampled my baseline performance on the Manhattan 5lb problems. Then I revised with prepswift and the official ETS material.
5. The official ETS quant and general GRE books are really good for practice as well. These are the real indicator of test performance since the Manhattan book problems are actually a lot more challenging.
6. I had very little verbal practice. I read and write everyday, so I just wanted to hit high 80s percentile for verbal. I did practice the vocab though (gregmat vocab mountain AND Magoosh GRE vocab).
7. For people with high anxiety: for the quant, just remember to recognize patterns, read the problem, stick to your foundations, plug and chug, and breathe. Everytime I started the quant section, I used the remaining time from the verbal to write that preceding sequence out so that I was using metacognition and prevent myself from panicking.

It's easy to become consumed by the daily grind of managing a business. But how can you determine if your efforts are actually producing results? Are you stagnant or are you making significant progress towards your objectives?
Instead of making random guesses, you can use data to make informed decisions that support growth. Are sales consistently increasing, or is there a temporary decrease? Data shows patterns that you might overlook otherwise. Seeing real progress, no matter how small, can give you a necessary boost.
Some practical tips that I know of:

• Establish SMART objectives: Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
• Track important metrics such as website traffic, social media engagement, sales, cost of customer acquisition, and customer satisfaction.
• Adapt and improve. Do not hesitate to alter your strategy if the data indicates a better approach.

What challenges do you face in tracking your business progress? Do you find it motivating, or does it add stress? Feel free to share your experiences.

A few weeks ago, someone posted a link to one of Don’s rants and I went through and commented on each of the points. I can't find that post, but I had copied it over here: https://www.reddit.com/perpetualeducation/comments/1c7k9re/donthedeveloper_on_a_rant_about_how_aspiring/
We had a chat about it. Here’s the video/podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmqZkC3LqU&lc
Don titled it: There's a MASSIVE Skill Gap Among New Developers
I'll attempt to write a bit about that - (even though we went over many other topics - and I'm having a hard time grouping them)
It’s easy to simplify this into “the market” or “the boot camp” or “the tech stack” or "what's fair" or "the resume" - but I think people are missing the various multidimensional aspects at play. Is it:
Is it all of those things - and more? (Yes). And it's "the student" too." We're all different (cue reading rainbow moment). But it's true. Some of us are slower. Some of us are faster but miss the details. Some of us have a background that alignes neatly with tech. Some of us already know what job we want and why - and other people just want to make a good bet on a stable career. No matter what zone you're in, we still have to face the music - and deal with (trigger alert) - the truth.
The market is real. Companies aren't aggressively hireing random barely capable developers right now (like they have in the past). They're scared and holding on to their money. They also kinda realized they were spending more money on middle management and probably developers too - and are going to need some time to figure out how to make profitable businesses (or how to keep getting more VC funding to burn through).
But if there's a huge gap between your skills/experience and what it takes to do the job you're applying for, none of the other factors matter.
Many people choose a coding boot camp based on superficial factors like the price, the timeline, the website design, and the sales pitch. They often don't consider other important aspects because they simply don't know better. This isn’t unlike any other product or service or school.
Some people pick out a boot camp and learn a bunch of awesome stuff and they go out there and start a new career and for some reason, they don’t come back to Reddit to tell us about it. There are some legit colleges and boot camps and other alternative learning paths out there - that are really great. It's just a fact.
If you read the bootcamp marketing, paid your tuition, went through the steps they lined out, and came out the other end unable to get that job they promised you, well - that’s awkward. Maybe for you, it’s that simple. If you feel like you got a raw deal, I’m sorry. There are some businesses that should be ashamed of themselves - but they won't be. All you can do is warn other people. That’s over now. We can only work with the present.
For people who really want to work in this industry - they'll keep moving forward: at the end of the day, this is the playing field. So, if you want to get off the bench, we’re going to have to design a path to that – and you might need to rethink some of your assumptions.
It could certainly be said that new developers are now expected to know about–and have experience with–a lot more things.
Are the expectations that someone brand new to development is going to be able to get a job unreasonable? Well, does it matter what someone’s opinion about that is? You either want the job - or you don’t. And you need to know how to do the job, or no one will hire you. Do you need to know everything on this huge list to get an entry level position https://roadmap.sh/javascript ? (no) (in fact - close that - and don’t ever look at it again)
When I started (at the age of ~30) (in ~2011), you needed to know HTML, CSS, (Probably some PhotoShop to get your assets), maybe a little PHP (and likely HTTP and more about URLs and request types and forms), FTP and DNS to get your site hosted, and maybe some JavaScript. You might have used jQuery to help out or Knockout.js. And you had to know how to hook up a database and MySQL and probably a CMS or some sort. And maybe your code was a mess or maybe it adhered to some common patterns. But that was life. Not everyone needed to know all those things. Some people would focus more on getting the mockup into the HTML and CSS. Other people might focus on the server and the PHP or Perl or Java. There were all sorts of jobs and some of them were done by people with a formal education in Computer Science studies and other people just figured it out as needed. There was a lot of work to be done. Lots of custom stuff to build and maintain. And it was just normal to learn more incrementally as the years went by. You could totally get a job knowing just HTML and CSS (and you still can BTW). There was still an infinite amount of things you could know. But it seemed to ramp up naturally because we were closer to the grain of The Web.
So, what do people learn now? (Generally) They rush through some HTML and CSS really quick (which actually teaches them more bad habits than good). They rarely learn about DNS or FTP because a tutorial showed them how to type a few random things into a terminal to have their site on a free service and they don’t buy a domain name because there’s a free subdomain. Apparently paying for anything is for suckers and companies that don't give you things for free are evil capitalistic pigs who should be shut down. New devs don’t know much about servers because their text editor is actually running an advanced web application behind the scenes that starts a virtual server and runs all sorts of other things they don’t understand outside of that context - like connecting to version control, opening a terminal pane, SSH, code completion and typeahead, autoimport completion, AI suggestions and other additional layers like typescript and many other linters to tell them where all their errors are. If they couldn't use VSCode - they might be dead in the water. It can feel like you’re just a bag of meat being yelled at by VSCode as you try and solve the errors and remove all the red lines. And we do all of these - to put the training wheels in place.
And I’m not saying that a LAMP stack doesn’t have it’s own level of black-box and mysteries with how Apache handles your HTTP requests and MySQL starts up it’s own server - but we have to be comfortable with some level of abstraction or we’d be writing all ones and zeros at the machine code level.
So, the new developer is manning this huge stack of tools unknowingly, but they do get a lot of benefits. We can spin up a pretty complex web application with a front-end to make requests, a server to talk to a database and other third-party systems and respond back to the client/front-end, and an auth layer to make sure people are properly signing in and only seeing what they need to see. There are abstractions for HTML and CSS and JS that put that template logic and controller logic into a neat little component file (which is great) and that component file is properly registered based on file name conventions and everything gets set up in this larger system of conventions that all happen behind the scenes in the framework architecture. So, as a new developer - you can really ride the framework and know hardly anything about how it works - as long as you know the language to speak to this layer of the abstraction (the API).
These aren't just arbitrary add-ons that people made to complicate things. They solve real-world problems. The new dev won't really understand what they are - but I'm not saying we should just get rid of them. They allow us to move faster and to build interfaces and business logic without having to write tons of behind the scenes repeated structural code by hand. And with those training wheels, we have more time on our hands. We can also add in the chance to further define our programs with safety measures and plan automated testing routines, and built-in documentation of our code base. We can keep adding layers and layers or pull in more and more third-party tools. It’s pretty amazing. But what people end up learning is how to maintain that configuration - and there’s only so much time - and so, they end up learning 10% of all the things you used to need/want to know. And some jobs have a path for that. But there's likely going to be a long-term cost for you.
Arguably - it doesn’t matter how much “code” you know - and making things is what matters. And that’s true. That’s what matters to the business that pays you. And to the school that wants you to feel good about your progress. But I think you should protect your learning journey. It’s for you. It’s going to be what you carry on throughout the years and it’s a seed.
Getting proficient with a popular tech stack - when the market is booming proved to be a great decision for boot camps and their students. And I'd bet that the majority of people mean well.
But when it's not booming, students are in it for the wrong reasons, schools have tightened up and moved online, the market has plenty of devs who already have 5+ years working with that framework/stack -- then all of the sudden - the surface-level fake-it-till-you-make-it path (as much as I respect that) doesn't work as well. You're going to have to put in some more energy.
When it's obvious that you can't build an HTML page with semantic markup, that's accessible, and has a universally pleasurable experience, and you can't write CSS without a UI framework or do anything custom, it's obvious. You should be aware of that gap. When you've never owned a domain name or setup a deployment pipeline, you should be aware of that gap. When your personal website looks like your boot camp gave it to you, you should be aware of how that looks. When you can't take a server-side scripting language like Python or Go or PHP and build out a little personal website framework - you should be aware of that gap. When you can't plan a project and don't have experience with diagrams and explaining things, you need to be aware of that gap. When you've never written about your process or created any case-studies to explain your projects, you should be aware of that gap. When you're only proof of work is the class assignments, you should be aware of that gap. When your github history goes dead after the last day of class, you should be aware that we'll see that. When you claim to no nothing about visual design and that's for someone else on the team - you should be aware of that gap. If you refuse to turn on your camera and just want to be left alone, you should be aware of that huge gap. If you can't build a little prototype app without React, they you probably don't JavaScript, and you should be aware of that gap. And there will ALWAYS be a gap. There's always more to learn. So - it's an important skill to know what to learn and why - and when. You can't learn everything. And if you're having a hard time finding work right now, then get clear on your goal. Stop applying for general "Software engineer" jobs you aren't ready for. Narrow your scope. Figure out a job that you think you can do confidently. Get clear on how big your gap is and what you need to learn to get centered and confident with your toolset. Ideally, it's fun. Try and ignore all the doom and gloom and focus on your own personal goal.
It's not just the market. Too many people are applying for jobs they aren't anywhere near qualified to do. And it probably doesn't feel good. But luckily - you can learn the things and get back on track.

Hi guys
I was just wondering if im the only girl who has never been on a date. Im a uni student and my third year will be starting soon. Im too scared of using dating apps bcz its just scary man what if he is a serial killer or something. So id prefer going out with guys who are around me. My course doesn’t have much guys too. They are either weird or taken. Also i dont want my first date to be ruined. I dont want to date bcz i want a serious meaningful relationship not just for fun , he needs to be irreligious or atheist ffs . Also, never been in a rs … a situationship sure but i had to end since we lived far and weren’t going anywhere andd … i didn’t even like him. So girlies, any tips ? Also id like to mention i have just.. one guy friend who is a broo and he lives abroad so we are just online friends. As if uni i dont have any guy friends and only 2 gorl friends fron my class that too just cz i dont wanna be miserable and clueless alone. Ps im an introvert. How do i make more friends?? Maybe then i can find someone good. Cant just randomly say hi to a random cute dude on the campus right! So… how do i become normal? And do ppl like me exist?
Some backstory- i was born n raised abroad in middle east and came here exit for uni. I have a girl gang from school we are all in different countries now. So yeah basically my real friends are online friends and i live here in the campus.
Also i have heard ppl finding dates while exploring Delhi alone… like i do it too. But dates, how ???
Srry for the typos feel free to advice and ask more.
And yeah im neither very pretty nor ugly and i dress up good but still no guy ever approached me. Nit talking about creeps

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

Hello everyone! I (44F) have been dating H (38M) for around 9 months now. Even before we started dating, I was aware he had a daughter E (14F) who he cared deeply for, and I was aware they would be a package deal. I also knew there was a strained relationship between E, H, and E’s mother, and unspecified terrible experiences with E’s mother’s past boyfriends. This led me to the understanding that H may be protective of E.
I did not meet E until about 3 months ago. The meeting did not go poorly, however it was clear her and I were just very different people and would not be able to be friends. With that being said, we remain civil, and she is a very polite, pretty, smart, cunning young lady who is well liked by her friends and family.
H did not allow me to his house or to meet E for the first 6 months of our relationship. This did cause strain in our relationship as I felt H was implying I was untrustworthy, however as someone who is child free by choice, I came to terms with the fact that I may never understand the parental instinct to protect one’s child.
When I finally did meet E, she was quiet and polite. The car ride was a bit awkward, but H kept her talking about things she liked, though I could tell E wasn’t fully in the conversation as I could occasionally hear her fake nails as she typed on her phone. We went to a barbecue at one of H’s close friend’s homes, and we were all admittedly a bit distracted, so E did not spend much time with us. One of the first things I noticed was their level of physical affection; before E ran off with the other teens at the barbecue, she gave H a hug. Not a cute hug, but a long, lingering hug in which she whispered something to him and he whispered back and kissed her forehead. When I asked H about this he said not to worry, that E was just nervous, but I still found it weird. I tried to brush that off, especially because she was also very physically affectionate with other people that were considered family or close friends. E hugged and cheek kissed all of the people introduced to me as important in H’s life.
However, as I started coming over to their home, I noticed a bit more strange physical affection; more hugging and kissing, cuddling, play fighting, and E has a habit of liking her back scratched and hair played with, which H obliges no questions asked. I even caught H as he held E in his lap once when she was crying about a personal matter that neither of them wanted to tell me about.
This came to a head somewhat recently when I attempted to initiate intimacy at H’s home and he declined. Frankly I was surprised; our intimate life has been amazing, and he’d never said no to me before. H explained that E was in her bedroom directly next to us, the shared wall being the one his bed was up against, and E also frequently laid in his bed, and it just made him uneasy. H suggested a lounger on the far wall of the room if I was able to stay quiet, but I set a boundary and told him no. He then flat out declined and rescinded any sort of compromise. This triggered a huge argument in which I brought up how uncomfortable I was with the physical affection with E. After I gave him specific examples, he invalidated my feelings. He literally stared at me like I had three heads before laughing and telling me I was crazy for thinking that. This caused me to go home, not speaking to him until the next day. When I did come over to his house again, I only went over under the assumption that he had changed his mind, however I learned that he stood strong on this point. This remained an issue over the coming months.
A few days ago, when I went over to his house, E was in her room and H and I practically had the house to ourselves. I took a shower, which took me about 20 minutes. When I walked back into H’s bedroom, I was surprised to find E had swooped in in those 20 minutes and was in his bed, lying perpendicular to H with her head on his stomach. Neither of them even flinched when I walked in, they just stayed staring at their respective phones.
Admittedly, I lost it. I berated H about his strange relationship with E, and I set the boundary of her not being allowed in our bed. He quickly shut that down, but I persisted. After some back and forth on the matter I eventually I turned to E to berate her about her unwillingness to accept me and her attempt to gate keep H, then telling her that as long as I was around she needed to act appropriate with H. H kicked me out as soon as I turned my attention to E. We haven’t talked save for a text message telling me he needed time to think, and a message today asking when we could get together to talk.
We will be having our conversation either tonight or tomorrow night, and I would love some outside opinions from complete strangers.
So, AITAH for trying to ban my boyfriend’s teenaged daughter from our bed after a pattern of inappropriate behavior?

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

Back in the old system, every new card used to release at S5. Players, myself included, didn't like this. SD introduced "flexible drops". Shortly after they did, the Spotlight system took over, and series drops stagnated.
Cards in the old system also used to drop in a predictable pattern. Almost invariably, a card would drop from S5 (or Season Pass) to S4 in two months, and from S4 to S3 in three months. That means that (aside from Big Bads) you would be guaranteed to get each card, for free, within 5 months of its release.
Compare that to what we have now.
We haven't had a new card release as S4 since Miek, in January. That's four months.
Further, we now only get series drops twice a year. We'll get one in June, and the last two we got were in June 2023 (which included a whopping three cards), and January 2024.
Seeing as how no card has ever dropped directly from S5 to S3, this all leads me to a baffling, yet inescapable conclusion.
Despite our current system ostensibly having "flexible drops", it now takes longer for a S4 card to drop to S3, than it took for a S5 card to drop to S3 in the old system.

Is it legal to just go and do skilled nursing services for people who need them? Say that a patient needs to be cathed, wound dressed, meds sorted, etc but they can't get home health for whatever reason. Can a private duty nurse operate independently and if so, what are the legalities? Some of the local agencies charge an arm and a leg and I know some people really struggling although I'm not saying for free. Would love any input on the matter!

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)

Alain kicked in the door to the gun store, and they all flooded in. There was nobody there, as expected, so that gave them free reign to take whatever they needed. Alain immediately stocked up on ammo for his revolver and shotgun, slotting cartridges into the spaces on his bandoleer and belt. All the other men did the same, and a few of them grabbed an extra gun as well.
"Everyone good?" Alain called. They all answered back in the affirmative, and he motioned for them to follow after him as he sprinted back outside.
The remaining undead had taken notice of them now, and were closing in once more. Their group opened fire as Sable and Az rushed forwards.
"Watch your fire!" Alain warned as rounds passed dangerously close to the two of them.
"What the hell are they doing?!" Rusty called.
"They're clearing a path for us!" Alain shouted back. "Come on, we need to-"
A pair of sickening gurgles from behind him caught his attention. Immediately, Alain turned around, and saw the two sheriff's deputies standing there, their hands thrust through the backs and out the chests of Jack and Redd. Rusty raised his rifle to try and engage, but he didn't get a chance to fire before one of the deputies drew his own revolver and put a round between his eyes. Alain could only watch in shock as he fell backwards, dead.
The two deputies pulled their arms out of their unfortunate victims, then shook them to get some of the blood off as they advanced on Alain and Felix. Both men took a step back as they shouldered their long guns.
"Deputies Timms and Brayton," Felix surmised, looking at each man in turn. "You know, I almost didn't want to believe it when Alain first told me you were involved with all of this. The sheriff put you up to it?"
Timms ran a hand through his beard, uncaring of how the blood and gore from his victim left a trail of slick red through it. "He told us what we stood to gain if we helped him. After learning about that, how could we refuse?"
"And what would that be?" Alain growled.
Brayton grinned, showing off yellow teeth as he twirled his revolver almost absentmindedly. "What do you think would coerce someone to sacrifice other people?"
"I don't know."
"Ah, well… it doesn't matter; you'll all be dead soon, anyway."
"So confident of that, are you?"
"I'm confident enough, we'll say." Brayton turned to Timms. "You take the bartender, I'll handle the drifter."
Timms nodded, and then before Alain knew what was happening, Brayton had rushed towards him. He just barely managed to avoid the incoming arm thrust, the deputy's fingers brushing against his shirt, tearing through the fabric with ease. Alain fell back, discharging his shotgun as he went; the load of buckshot struck Brayton in the chest, opening it enough to expose his blackened heart, and he stumbled back, but recovered quickly.
Brayton let out a low growl, then drew his revolver and began firing off shots. Alain was forced to dive for cover behind a nearby building to avoid the incoming shots. Just as he reached concealment, however, a series of moans from nearby caught his attention. He turned and found several undead moving towards him. Without missing a beat, Alain fired off the remaining shell in his shotgun, taking one out, and then held it in one hand as he drew his revolver and killed the other two with a series of well-placed shots.
Alain wasted no time in reloading his guns once the trio of undead had hit the ground. He broke his shotgun open and ripped the spent shells out, then shoved two fresh ones in and closed the weapon. Before he could cock the hammers back, however, the building behind him erupted in a shower of splinters, and Brayton came marching through.
"I must say, you're not making this easy," Brayton told him.
"I thought you would've learned that by now," Alain replied as he cocked the hammers back on his shotgun. "After all, I did plenty of damage to you two back in the jailhouse earlier."
"A shame it didn't last."
"This will."
Alain shouldered his weapon and fired both barrels in the same motion. To his dismay, Brayton was able to duck back into the destroyed building at the last minute, avoiding most of the buckshot; a few pellets lodged in his throat and face, but it wasn't nearly enough to kill him for good.
It did succeed in getting under his skin, though. Brayton stepped out of the building, a scowl etched across his face. Without missing a beat, he advanced on Alain's position, drawing his revolver and firing it as he went. Several shots rang out, and Alain felt a sudden, searing pain in his left shoulder; he turned and saw a bloody patch on his shirt that was growing more intense with every passing second. He only stared for a second though, then turned and began to run, desperate to put some distance between himself and Brayton.
"There's no point in hiding," Brayton answered as Alain ducked back into Felix's bar, stepping over a small mountain of undead corpses in the process. "I'll find you eventually."
Alain sat down behind the bar, then tore open his shirt to get a better look at the wound. Brayton's round had apparently nicked his artery; it wasn't spurting blood, but it was bleeding heavily. Alain didn't waste any time, instead tearing his cartridge belt off his waist and cinching it tight just above the wound as a makeshift tourniquet. He then forced himself back onto his feet, and with shaking hands, reloaded his shotgun as he looked around.
The undead horde seemed to have been thinned out substantially in this part of town. That led him to believe that Az and Sable had instead moved on to another part of town, most likely closer to the mines, and were working on clearing a path for the rest of them. That meant they'd be of no help to him anytime soon – they were almost certainly too busy fighting the undead to realize him and Felix needed help.
So the two of them were on their own. Alain grimaced as the thought crossed his mind.
He needed to take care of Brayton and Timms, and fast.
Alain vaulted over the bar, wincing when he felt the movement disturb the bullet in his shoulder slightly.
"Not doing anything like that again any time soon…" he muttered as he propped himself up against a wall next to the opening where the door had once stood, then peered out into town.
From here, he couldn't see either of the deputies, but he could still hear sporadic gunfire throughout town, along with the moans of the living corpses that were still walking around. Cautiously, Alain stepped out from behind cover, his shotgun already readied against his good shoulder. He looked around once more, trying to see where either of the deputies or Felix had ended up.
The click of a revolver's hammer being thumbed back struck his ears, and Alain hit the dirt just in time for the bullet to scrape across the top of his head, taking a few of his hairs with it.
There was little time to dwell on that, however, as another round came from out of the darkness soon after that one. Alain rolled to avoid it, and just barely managed to get out of the way in time for it to embed itself into the ground next to him. Dirt, pebbles, and bits of spall impacted against his back, but once again, he managed to avoid serious injury. A vein pulsed in his forehead, and Alain forced himself to stand up before firing off two shotgun blasts towards where he thought the shots came from. He was rewarded with the sound of buckshot impacting against flesh, and knew he'd hit his target.
Before Brayton could have time to recover, Alain slung his shotgun and drew his revolver, then advanced upon his position. Sure enough, Brayton was busy pulling himself up off the ground; Alain emptied his revolver's cylinder into the deputy's head. Blood, bone, and bits of brain arced through the air, staining the ground and the nearby wall with a macabre mixture of crimson, white, and gray. By the end of it, the deputy's head had been sheared almost in half, with the remnants of his brain exposed to the outside world.
Alain stood there, wisps of smoke curling up from the end of his revolver's barrel. That should have been it for Brayton – no mortal would have been able to survive something like that.
Unfortunately, Brayton was no mere mortal. He let out a shuddering breath, then began to lurch forward. His movements were sluggish and slow, and there was a dull expression of pain on his face, but he was still alive. Alain paused at the sight of it, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me."
That was all he managed to get out before Brayton raised his revolver once again. Alain dove for cover; the bullet scraped across his lower back, just a few inches away from his spine. He scrambled to his feet, and only once he was back up did he realize that in the confusion, he'd dropped his revolver.
Alain went to reload his shotgun, but found that he was once again out of shells. He let out a muffled curse, then looked around for something he could use. Sable had told him that there were three ways to kill wights – removing the head, destroying the brain, and…
Alain's gaze landed on a nearby lantern hanging from an abandoned shop, swinging precariously from a rope. Even from here, he could see oil sloshing around inside it. A manic grin crossed his face, and he immediately made a mad dash for it. He got lucky – the deputy was caught in the middle of a reload, and was unable to shoot him. Alain ripped the lantern off the building, then hurled it at Brayton; it shattered on impact, coating him with oil. Once that was done, Alain reached into his pocket and retrieved a match.
"Mom always said those cigarettes couldn't be good for me," he said to himself as he struck the match against the building, lighting it. He turned toward the deputy, still coated in oil, and his eyes narrowed.
"I wonder what she'd say if she could see this."
He flicked the lit match towards Brayton, watching as it soared through the air. The flame made impact with the oil-slick deputy, and he caught alight immediately. An inhuman screech erupted from Brayton's throat, loud enough that Alain winced and had to cover both his ears. Brayton fell to the ground, his revolver dropping against the dirt and discharging harmlessly into the air as he rolled to try and put out the fire, but it was no use. In a matter of seconds, his movements stopped completely, his body reduced to little more than a charred corpse.
That wasn't enough for Alain. He sprinted over to where his Colt had fallen, retrieved it, and emptied the cylinder into what was left of Brayton's head, just for good measure. The body didn't even twitch as the rounds made impact, and by the end of it, his head had been reduced to little more than a jawbone still attached to the neck. Alain stood there for a moment, panting from exertion, before letting his arm fall.
Footsteps took him by surprise, and he rounded on them, only to relax when he saw that it was Felix, and he was apparently completely unharmed. The two exchanged a glance, and Felix's eyes widened.
"Shit…" he breathed. "What happened to you? You're covered in blood."
"I killed Brayton."
"Yes, I can see that. But did you have to put yourself through a meat grinder to do it?"
"Is Timms dead?" Alain asked.
"Yeah, he's done."
"How'd it happen?"
"I shot him in the head a bunch with my rifle. Why didn't you just do that to Brayton?"
Alain just scowled. Before he could reply, there were more footsteps – they both looked over and saw Sable and Az approaching. Both of them seemed a lot worse for wear, sporting more grievous injuries than they had before. Still, as Sable approached, her eyes widened when she saw Alain lying there.
"What happened to him?" she asked.
"Got shot," he grunted. "Hey, you needed blood, right?"
"Well, yes, but-"
Alain didn't wait to hear anything else, instead loosening his tourniquet. The blood began to flow once more, and he motioned towards his shoulder.
"Help yourself for a bit."
Sable went red in the face, but her shame didn't stop her. She immediately moved over to him, then latched onto the wound on his shoulder and began to drink. Alain winced when he felt her teeth lock into him and her tongue begin to lap up his blood, but he didn't stop her.
"I'm gonna be sick…" Felix said, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth as he watched the display in front of him.
Thankfully, Sable pulled herself away shortly after latching onto him. Alain turned towards her, and was surprised to see that many of her wounds were healed, though not all of them. Before he could inquire further about that, Sable began tearing strips off her gore-soaked dress, taking care to search for the few clean parts only, then wrapped his wound with them.
"You need a doctor," she declared. "But for now, that'll have to do. You can sit this one out if-"
"Stop," Alain managed to get out. "I'm not missing this. Help me up."
"Alain-"
"I said, help me up."
Sable hesitated, but ultimately obliged, pulling him to his feet. Alain stumbled a bit, lightheaded from pain and blood loss, but managed to maintain his footing. He slung his shotgun and reloaded his revolver, then turned back to the rest of them.
"Alright," he said. "To the mines."

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.