How to take pics of a conversation on bbm

I just wanted to ask some advice, I had reached out to a new therapist one of a few that my partner had actually agreed to see for couples therapy and he is very particular however this is how the conversation over the last month went and I feel so let down and disappointed with these responses.
Potential Therapist: “I'd be happy to meet with you & your partner to see if it's a good fit for you. and perhaps provide some guidance for you. Let me know”
Me: “May I ask your hours? My partner and I both work full time […], so overall it's been a little challenging finding someone in those hours who would work in person.
Potential therapist: “Unfortunately I am not able to accommodate your hours. [names last appointment hours].”
Me “May I ask what your hours are and if you have any Friday or weekday openings overall? I can potentially talk to my partner about leaving work early on certain days.”
Potential Therapist: [names in office days], “I'm in the office on Saturday morning to do paperwork~ I would be willing to meet with you then. If interested let me know within 48 hrs.“
Me: Replies asking what time in the morning and my partner and I could make that work
Potential therapist: “My apologies I won't be able to meet with you on [Saturday] after all. I could meet with you at 5 pm on Tuesday. I will hold it thru tomorrow, so please let me know asap.”
Me: “Hello, is there another day by chance? Unfortunately specifically that day/week I have off vacation time.”
Potential Therapist after several days of no replies: “apologies for the delay..I just got back from being away for several days. After giving it more thought, I don't think our respective schedules are going to allow for consistent couples sessions. I suggest you try and find a couples therapist with more availability.”
Me: “Thank you for the suggestion I'll give them a call. However, my partner and I have been coming across this with scheduling with most therapists reached out too. He and I agreed we would make time for it as it's very important to us both to work through things right now, and happy to take time off/out of our days around it if it's later afternoon even. If it is a possibility to work something out, again we are happy to accommodate. Thanks for the replies,”
Potential Therapist: “Unfortunately l'm not able to accommodate any new clients at this time.”
Maybe I dodged a bullet here with the communication however I am devastated as this is one of only a few therapist. My partner agreed to see so I’m not sure what to do if I should even reply one more time saying that any advice would be great.

after 1.5 years, i left my boyfriend. the good was he wanted a future, prioritized me, and cared about me. he wanted to work through things, wanted to make it work. he was willing to try to make things work.
the not so good…he was difficult to communicate with, didn’t understand my side of issues, didn’t respect my political beliefs, was tired of me making the same mistake, tended to blame me for our issues. He has trust issues and I got accused of cheating. He’d flip everything i say. after speaking to a therapist, there was confirmed emotional abuse happening.
i wanted a future too. he was serious about planning it, but because of the above, i didn’t plan because i didn’t feel secure emotionally—in my mind, it WOULD work and I know a future is possible and I want it. I think some of the harshness in the relationship is caused me to be rude, less affectionate, and not appreciate him. And that i feel so guilty for, because I loved him more than anything. I think unresolved issues and resentment kept me from being more appreciative.
we finally reach a point i no longer could go beyond. he called me pathetic, and I realized no matter how upset he was I couldn’t take more put downs. he wanted me to change, to put more effort, but after dedicating my time and love, I felt so stuck. our issues kept me from that effort, because i was resentful. He told me, even then, I don’t know if I could change to be what he needed.
Despite the pain, I know I was causing him pain as he never felt loved by me. I don’t know how, I loved him, but it’s how he felt. I was hurting him by staying, and I knew right now, before consistent therapy, I was not going to change. He said I’d change if I cared enough, and I said I do care but I’m not going to change. That set off the breakup. He gave me option to leave, and then he made it clear what he needed. I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to cause him more pain, I told him I needed him to be kinder and no more put downs. I feel I should’ve listed my concerns, and told him I wanted him to work on the emotional abuse and his BPD because I think he would’ve. I wish I would’ve been more specific.
He wanted to work through it, and I’m not saying to immediately get back together as I have to build myself up again. I walked out the door. It happened not even 12 hours ago, we have eachothers messages open. This is not feel like closure. I got the closure of the pain of walking out, but not the closure that I told him the right thing. I need him to work on the emotional abuse, and I work on self love to love him, and actually express the love I feel. I want to feel emotionally secure to have a future with him. I want to tell him this. We’ve almost broken up a few times (because of me). Our issues were so much for a relationship to be healthy, but part of me is willing to work on it, but starting from myself apart. Is there a way to have this conversation? I need the closure of knowing he would work on the emotional abuse and BPD. Even if it’s not for me, I want him to work on these for his future relationships.
Im in the worst pain without him, I just want to see him, I don’t want it to be over. It was my choice because I couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore, or be hurt. Hurt will happen, but feeling unloved is a whole different issue. Would a conversation laying out the what was needed be okay? I need to tell him more honestly, it feels guilty sugarcoating it now. I am willing to change for him, I need him in my life

So I'm an out gay guy from a Rural and Religious area in the US. Due to this my family is not exactly stoked on me and always encouraged me to hide myself in public because of how people would react to me. For context, I was living with my Granny and Grandaddy at the time to help take care of them as they were having a harder time doing things around the house. My Grandfather was able to drive and such, I couldn't but was learning, and he would help me get to work and back. I would spend a lot of time doing things for them, fixing the house up where I could, and also just kept them company. It was honestly a good time aside from my Aunt and Uncle holding over that I couldn't be myself while I lived there. I had to pretend to be straight so I didn't embarrass the family.
During this period I was on a dating website, this was before the apps really got a start. I had just gotten over a period where I was recovering from a bad bad break up that ended in violence. I wanted to get out there again so I thought I'd give it a try, I wanted to find some happiness. Sure enough, I began talking to someone, we'll call him Lion. Lion was very sweet, very understanding about the situation I was in, so we kept talking for quite a while. Lion lived a few hours away so we weren't able to just drop things and go meet whenever, plus we didn't want to rush things. I also knew my family wouldn't have been too keen on me meeting someone. The rule was I couldn't be seen in public with a person, and honestly I wasn't keen on inviting someone over to my grandparent's house, not just for the embarrassment of not being in my own place, but I didn't want to risk them if things didn't end up well after meeting someone for the first time. Strangers be strangerin.
A good deal of time had gone by and I was really falling for Lion. We talked every day. We got along well. Any disagreements were squashed fairly easily. I thought, I really need to start thinking about myself here, so I thought I'd say let's meet. We made plans and I became so excited. This was the time when Facebook was pretty new and I was in my 20s and still pretty naive to the consequences of posting all good news you have on social media. I posted about him coming to visit on the day he was coming. All hell broke loose.
My aunt, who was not on my friends list, had someone report to her about things I posted. Next thing I know I'm getting phone calls by all sorts of family members calling to cuss me out for daring to invite someone over. No, I wasn't having him come to my grandparent's house, I was walking to a gas station and was going to meet him there. They demanded that I tell him not to come to town as if they owned the whole place. I got pissed off and told them I'm taking care of my grandparents when they don't want to have anything to do with them and I deserve a little bit of happiness, so I told them all to fuck off.
On my way to the gas station I saw my cousin driving up and down the road, a school road, above the speed limit. He would swerve as if he were threatening to hit me. I flipped him off. I got to the gas station in one piece and waited for about 2 hours for him to show up, I couldn't reach Lion because he had no signal heading up the mountain to get to me. He finally gets there, we embrace. I tell him about what was going on and that we should probably go someplace else since my cousin followed me. He was so understanding. It was a great day, my phone was off, and we just had a lot of fun. He drove me back and I made it home and went to bed after I got the call he made it back home.
The next day I go to work and my family started calling my work place. I obviously wasn't allowed to take the phone off the hook because customers may call and need help. It was absolute torture. I was given an ultimatum, I refuse to see Lion again and maybe they'll let me continue living with my grandparents. I flipped and told my Aunt to go fuck herself and hung up. At the end of the work day my dad shows up and tells me I'm not allowed over at my grandparent's tonight. I couldn't go home and even get my toothbrush. So I said fine, I give in and go to my dad's. My dad is a pastor who has put me through conversion therapy. He lectures me the whole way, said I had this coming. Blah blah blah. I called Lion and told him everything. He said fuck them and told me if I needed to I can move in with him. I was VERY hesitant about that. We had one date, a great date, but still. I had to think about it.
The torture with my family continued and I finally gave in and said ok, I'm coming to stay with you. Lion and I made plans, I put in a two week notice, I did NOT post about it online, and on my last day I told a few people I'll be leaving and would like to see them one more time before I leave home. I didn't even tell my dad I was leaving, I just packed my shit and left. I said my goodbyes and we left. Since then, my family said I abandoned my grandparents. Honestly I love my grandparents very much and always will, and I always think back on things because I wished I could have been there during some harder times like when my Grandaddy fell and hit his head, he died a week later. My Granny is now in a nursing home because she can't care for herself. I hate so much that this is how things ended up and I still find myself crying over it.
Was I an asshole for leaving?
Note, I am still with Lion. It'll be 12 years this July. He has a daughter who accepts me as her step-dad. She has two kids of her own who I love very much. I don't regret being here, I just hold guilt that my grandparents have ended up the way they have.

How do you know when to step in and be more strict and controlling and when to step back and let kids make mistakes to learn from them? Specifically teenagers. My son is 14 and has never been in trouble his whole life but has a girlfriend now and has lost two big school trips because he was involved with bringing a vape to school, he was holding it for other kids. The other kids get caught with it and rat him out. Since then I have found out almost every single one of his friends is vaping THC or nicotine or both, as 8th graders. I picked him up last night and the girl he and his girlfriend were with had shoplifted makeup. They both knew about it and didn’t say anything or call me to come get them out of the situation. He’s already faced some pretty serious consequences and doesn’t seem to have learned from them. I’m so afraid it’s going to get much worse. Him and the girlfriend do not seem capable of making good decisions when faced with bad situations. Also, they’re not consistently practicing safe sex. I found pregnancy tests. I’ve been talking to him about all of this but I don’t think it’s sinking in. I cannot and absolutely will not raise a baby for these kids. I feel like I should really crack down on him but I was raised by the worlds strictest and most terribly religious parents and it caused so much harm to me. I’ve been trying to communicate with my son and let him learn some things on his own… and he has a thousand times more privileges than I ever did. He’s allowed to enjoy his life as a kid and that’s made me so happy to give him the life I never got to have and experience growing up. But lately it seems like he’s literally flushing it all away and I don’t know how to step in and help him without it making things worse. I’ve already told him he’s not allowed to see these “friends” anymore and he’s only allowed to see the girlfriend when I can keep a close eye on them. I’m afraid of him doing some things that will cause much worse harm than just losing a fun trip with school. And getting his girlfriend pregnant at 14 is not going to work for me. Do I take his phone away? I don’t want to get into his conversations with friends and girlfriend because I had my parents do that to me and it was absolutely terrible. They also read my journals and grounded me for the thoughts and emotions I was trying to deal with in a healthy way. Where’s the line? How do I help him understand that what he’s doing right can potentially affect the rest of his life in very big ways??

I (28f) posted yesterday about my bf (31m) following an OnlyFans girl on Instagram (but only looking, never liking or commenting). He looks at her photos a lot. She lives in his hometown and has only a very small following (think very girl-next-door, just with only pics of her ass and tits. Exactly his type. Her OF is free but apparently he has never looked at it, just her IG. No, I’m not telling you her account).
I told him today that I was upset about it. We’ve had discussions before where I said if he wanted to watch porn (your standard videos - not interactive/paid/someone you’re in contact with etc) that’s fine, but I find OF and following specific girls for sexual reasons quite personal.
He says that to him, pornhub and this girls porn on IG are the same (however he said he finds videos of random strangers ‘boring’ so this is better) and also totally fine because it’s ‘just a wank’. It somehow ended up with me desperately defending my point of view that this unsurprisingly makes me feel shit about myself. He says this is normal and every guy does it - that it’s not cheating and nothing like it. I know he has never cheated in person and believe he never would.
We’ve been together for three years. The whole conversation was an endless pointless back and forth where we got nowhere. I told him I feel disrespected, humiliated and not good enough. It ended up with me crying over other comments he’s made (eg. telling me and his friends (in front of me) that he’d ‘never marry me’. He left and I assume is now typing to his friends how crazy I’m being.
I know anyone reading this will think how pathetic I am for staying. All I can say is that there are a lot of complicated reasons outside the obvious ‘I love him’. When my mum died, this guy was all I had, and all I have now. He’s the reason for a roof over my head and any stability in my life. He’s literally the reason I am still alive, and im so angry that this kind of shit is seen as ‘normal’ these days.

(I understand this is a bit of a read so I included a tl:dr at the bottom)
This may end up becoming a wall of text so I apologize in advance. I'm not sure how to properly start this so I'll just jump into it. I've been living with my best friends for the past 8 years. The 4 of us moved in together in early 2016 after deciding it would be beneficial financially and because we all get along so damn well that we knew there wouldn't be any issues living under the same roof. Fast forward to today and although 2 them have moved out, I'm still living here with my one buddy and his girlfriend. Things are still great there, no signs of friendship deterioration, tolerance or anything that might cause friction between us. However, I've been witness to a few things as well as started experiencing health issues that have completely changed the outlook I had on life back when we moved in together nearly a decade ago.
A little over 3 years ago I began dealing with awful IBS issues that to this day are still not properly being treated as doctors can't figure out what's wrong with my gut. Over the past 4 months I have begun dealing with nearly debilitating anxiety that has left me pretty much unable to leave the house except for doctor's appointments or the extremely occasional outing to a family or friend's house where I'm only able to stay for about an hour before having to leave. I do see a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist and I am on medication for both the IBS and anxiety, which helps but is in no way a cure. Due to these issues, I have become a shell of the person I used to be. No longer do I wake up and just decide to take a drive to the Jersey shore, a trip to Six Flags or head into the city to catch a Phillies game. Instead, I sit in the house and play video games or watch youtube as doing almost anything else is sure to set my anxiety or IBS off which may or may not land me in the ER.
My buddy that I still live with has been through absolute hell the past few years but luckily he's the kind of person who can just raw dog life (as in, he doesn't deal with any physical or mental issues, rarely gets sick and has no trouble going anywhere, doing anything, can eat whatever he wants without issues, etc.). He lost his mom to cancer last year. She passed exactly one week after Mother's Day. She lived here with us for about the final year of her life. Me and him have been friends for a good 20+ years at this point so his mom was like a mother to me as well, especially being as I don't have a proper relationship with my own mother. Watching her suffer through years of cancer only to pass away at 54 years old was heartbreaking. At least she's finally at peace now, of course. Now, his dad is also going through cancer treatment which is a recurrence of cancer that was found years ago, which automatically makes it stage 4. His prognosis is not grim but to many of us, his dad just seems done with it all. He stays here with us on weekends and with his sister during the week. We can see how much of a toll it's all taking on him. He won't admit it but we know that he doesn't want to put his son through all of this again after losing his mom just last year. If he was given a choice to "go" right now, he would take it, 100% to alleviate any more potential suffering at his or anyone else's behalf. His (my friend's) girlfriend also deals with chronic health issues both physical and mental which has helped open his eyes to the things that other people (who can't just raw dog life) go through on a daily basis. She lost her father when she was in her early 20s so it's helpful to him that she understands what losing a parent feels like.
Watching all of this happen just makes me realize how little our health care industry and government actually seem to care about our true wishes regarding life and death. Why did his mom have to suffer all those years with a terminal diagnosis? Why does his dad have to suffer now? Just because they're both in their 50s and not elderly it seems like care is always about treatment and not giving them the option to leave this life with their dignity intact. I myself would choose to leave this world if the door was opened for me. That does not mean that I am currently having thoughts of killing myself. It means that if the option was presented to me, to go out on my own terms, I would take it. Suicide is still extremely taboo in our society for some reason. Religion and government would have you think it is a crime against humanity but what is more humane than letting someone decide on their own terms that they're ready to move on? We are given this broad illusion of choice as children that we will get to grow up to be who we want to be and if we just try hard enough, we can accomplish anything. But for the vast majority of us, that is just not true. It is an illusion. We work and work and work just to barely earn enough money to survive and many end up in unhappy marriages solely because that's what society made them think they had to do as an adult.
Watching someone you love like family suffer and die will change you. Developing health issues that flip you from being someone outgoing, spontaneous. hard working and passionate into the complete opposite of those things will change you. Discovering that our healthcare system and government will do everything it possibly can to keep you as a "functioning member of society" no matter whether you're going through cancer treatment or dealing with chronic health issues will change you.
I'm 37 years old and I've never felt older in my life than I do right now. It's been almost 3 months that I've been on FMLA from work for the second time in 3 years. I'm wearing a heart monitor because my cardiologist wants to rule out any issues as my heart racing/palpitations are most likely just due to anxiety. Medication doesn't feel like it's doing much of anything and I'm watching the people around me grow older and deal with new problems every day. Yet our society says that we must keep going, no matter if you're suffering because the gears must keep turning. If we truly have the choice to do whatever we want to do in life, why aren't we allowed the choice to leave when we are ready? Why is it taboo? People kill themselves in horrific fashion every single day, more than once every *minute* worldwide. They want a way to fix that and the solution is right there in front of them. Give people the option to leave on their own terms. I've had plenty of conversations about this with friends and family and almost every single one of us would choose to leave on our own terms, when we are ready if the option were available. Hell, even my psychologist agrees with me on this. There's always a big debate about the ethics of it all but until you witness firsthand someone suffering and dying or begin dealing with your own health issues there really isn't any way to understand it. The vast majority of people are out there just raw dogging life and thoughts like these never cross their mind even once. But once it's brought up to them, they understand and accept it, at least in my own personal experiences from talking with friends and family. Ethics, health, religion, government, society, all of these things play a role in determining our fate. I just hope that someday a program is put in place so that people no longer have to suffer.
Finishing up, I understand that my condition is nowhere near as bad as what many others may be dealing with. Some people will look at me with disdain for wanting to walk through the door at only 37 years old while others will understand exactly where I'm coming from and feel the same. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs. I am appreciative of the healthcare system while also criticizing its flaws. I'm glad that religion provides so many with the means to live a happy and healthy life while also believing that many views (and laws) put forth by religious folk are vile and extremely outdated. I am glad that there are systems in place to help people in their darkest hours while also understanding completely why so many choose to leave. At 37 I still have plenty of my life left ahead of me, even if I don't want to get old. I still have things to look forward to such as video game releases or a new series to watch that keep me going. But I also acknowledge that there is a part of me that is ready to go. I have seen what life has to offer. I have lived with my family, on my own, while in a relationship and with my best friends. I do not want to get married or have kids. I do not want to work until I'm 65 (retirement age is likely to rise during my lifetime anyway). I do not want to get old and become a burden on anyone, either family/friends, healthcare workers or the average citizens who would have to pay for my social security.
Lose the illusion of choice and give people the option to go when they are ready.
If you managed to read through all of that, I just want to say thanks! Life is a beautiful thing and I am incredibly thankful for all of the amazing people I've met over the years and for the things that I've been able to do and see. This is not a post about wanting to commit suicide, it's main focus should be that we are forced into this world against our will and given the illusion of choice but when it comes down to it, we really don't have that much choice in how we live our lives and especially not when it comes to wanting it to end. Life can be incredibly fragile and many of us took that for granted until health issues decided it was time to show their ugly faces. I truly do not believe that feeling like you are ready to go should be considered taboo in any way. It should be something that everyone is provided a safe and comfortable space to discuss, whether with loved ones or medical professionals. For all of you out there just raw dogging life, I see you and I hope that someday I can get back to that, I really do miss being able to do whatever I wanted without a second thought. And of course, for anyone who knows what it feels like to be ready to go, to feel confident and comfortable with that decision, I see you as well and hope that the rest of society someday sees that as normal.
tl:dr I am 37 years old and over the past half decade I've watched family and people who were like family to me suffer and die from cancer or other health-related issues. I also deal with debilitating anxiety and IBS issues which obviously are nowhere near the level of something like cancer. However, I've discovered I have a feeling of "being ready to go" and I believe that people should be able to choose to leave this life with dignity and on their own terms without having to do something horrific. The healthcare industry, religious beliefs or government should not force us to remain here against our own free will just so we can keeps the gears of society turning. Let people leave on their own terms when they know that they are ready and get rid of the stigma surrounding talking about death.

I am 24M, she is 24F, we've been friends for 3 years.
A bit of context is required I met (We'll call her Sam) on tinder in early 2021. We chatted for a bit and I ended up getting her instagram and that's where we chatted from that point forwards. Initially we were talking everyday, if not back and forth, then maybe at the start and end of the day as we were both working. Eventually I asked Sam to grab a coffee, she declined (specifically she actually ignored it the first time i asked, I'm not sure whether out shyness, or distrust or whatever, but she made it clear that she didn't have a lot of free time due to study and work when i asked why she ignored it) we continued talking anyway, a few months later, I asked again, I got the same old tune of "i'm soo busy im sorry" kinda vibe and eventually I gave up asking but we remained talking, I still very much liked her and found her pretty.
The talking dwindled, sometimes she'd take 1 or 2 days to get back to me, days became weeks, then there were periods inbetween of hearing from her more freqeuntly, then back to a week, or a day, or several weeks, it fluctuated a lot. I had just accepted that, she probably saw me as an overseas friend (shes an international student) and wouldn't ever be interested in meeting. But still we remained talking, eventually it normalised to talking to each other about once a week, this continued for almost a year I'd say, we'd share occasional funny videos, respond to each others stories and just talk about life.
Fast forward to early 2023, I asked her if she wanted to finally meet up as we'd been talking more recently, and we did. We went to a bar, had some drinks, grabbed dinner and then walked around the city, it was a great night, I felt excited because we finally met each other in person and she was lovely, soft spoken, smart and pretty, she even asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her the next day during her lunch, and we did, and i thought this is where things would take off, but after that day, things slowly drifted back to the way things were, it would be a year before I saw her again (just this last week) and before that, we had gone months without talking at times (I had an interesting year and a lot of distractions, I'm sure Sam did too) but we still remained talking somewhat, even talking about meeting up again eventually.
Fast forward to last week, we meet up (we tried to earlier but I was going through some heavy stuff for the last 5 months that left me disinterested in taking care of myself, let alone trying to "date") we grabbed dinner, and the night was just great, conversation flowed, we were buying rounds for each other, whilst we were eating she at times would just plonk stuff from her bowl into mine and would tell me "try this", "try that" etc, we then went to get some cocktails at some different bars, we were chatting about music, cars, our lives and stuff, I was smitten by her, we then went and got ice cream and we were sharing them with spoons and then I walked her back to her apartment, hugged, said goodbye (we also promised we'd see each other soon). I was sold that I really liked this girl, shes gorgeous, I love her energy, her sweetness, she is quite literally a breath of fresh air in an unfortunate dating history of mine where I've been strung along/lied to. I LIKE this girl a lot. I can't get her out of my head, we talked a bit the next day, and now the talking is starting to diminish again, for example we spoke on sunday, then she didnt respond to me til yesterday, which was just a video (she didn't actually reply to anything I said, which isn't totally unusual she has done that before) and I'm just stuck wondering what she thinks of me, everyone I've spoken to said that was a date.
I was going to send her a message the night of that basically would have said that I have feelings for her, and I would want to know if im barking up the wrong tree looking for a relationship with her but was talked out of it by a friend, but eventually I'll have to say something, whether that results in her not wanting any kind of serious relationship or not, I just need to get this off my chest. Any tips for me? Feel free to ask any questions, this is a rather layered story. I know some of you are probably thinking, 'the fuck is wrong with this guy? shes clearly not interested' or 'shes using you' but like man the date/catch up was genuinley so good, that's why im so fucking confused. Is it me? is it her? What should I do?
btw we have agreed to see a movie sometime in the next two weeks. aswell go out to dinner w some of her friends eventually too
TLDR: I have talked to this girl for 3 years, we have met up 3 times, i have feelings for her and the label to what we are is unclear, I need advice on how to admit to her i have feelings without scaring her away, and peoples opinions on whats going on here.

This happened around 2 years ago, but I've recently been thinking about it because every so often, I get the "but he's still your dad" comment every time the subject comes up and today, it happened again.
When I (26F) was 18, I went no contact with my parents for a little over 5 years. Both of my parents were/are toxic, but my father was a bit worse. To put things in perspective, im the middle child, yet still im the only one to have never gone on a family vacation, because i just wasnt ever considered family the way my siblings were. I spent most of my adulthood wondering why i wasnt good enough. Still, I always yearned for a dad and a mom. Two and a half years ago, I was pregnant and just getting out of an abusive relationship. I was isolated from everyone, even friends. After going to therapy and working on my mental health, I decided I needed to establish a support system for myself and my baby. In hopes that they had changed, I reached out to both my parents. They had finally separated during my period of no contact, so they were living separately. My mom lived in a different state, so she wasn't able to help much. My parents seemed thrilled at the idea of having another grandchild and seemed really supportive at first. My dad was dating a new woman and I thought she was really sweet at first. But then she got really controlling and manipulative really quickly. I'd see her call my teenage sister the most horrible names, and it was suddenly clear why my sister always hated her. One time she INSISTED on coming to my last ultrasound appointment with me and my dad. And I could only have one person in the room with me (COVID), so she sat in the car. The appointment took around 45 minutes to an hour. When we got back to the car, I was feeling SO happy over seeing my baby. It was an amazing moment, until we opened the car doors and she started literally yelling at us for taking so long. She very quickly soured a sweet moment. I could list off all the things she's done, but its not worth it.
Anyway, The place I was living in wasnt the safest. My dad let me stay at his house for almost a month, just so I wouldn't have to spend even longer in a bad environment until I closed on my house. They were even "nice" enough to start working on a nursery for my baby at THEIR house. Which, I didn't think anything of, because his girlfriend said she wanted to watch the baby while I worked. It just seemed like excited grandparents to me. I was excited to have such a great support system during such a tough time in my life.
During this time, he made it very clear, he wanted/expected to be in the delivery room with me when I gave birth. He wasn't willing for it to be my mom AND him because he refused to be in the same room as my mom (HE was the cheater, but acted like she was the devil), so it had to be JUST him. Personally, I didn't like the idea of being in such a vulnerable position AND being naked, infront of my dad, but I was just planning to do what he wanted anyway because I always wanted a dad, so if I had to make some sacrifices to get that, then I was okay with it. Towards the end of the month, I had my baby shower and people really came together to help me. By the end of the day, I had pretty much everything I needed and more. Right after the baby shower, my dad told me he should lock the gifts into the room behind his. That they'd be safe in there. So, I agreed. I mean, he had put me through a lot when I was a kid, but even so, I could trust him not to steal from me and my unborn child, right?
No.
The week before i was supposed to move into my house, I called him while he was on his break at work. I was nesting pretty bad. I asked him If he could unlock the door in his bedroom when he got home, or let me know if there's another key, just so I could get the things ready to bring to my house. I wasn't adamant about it, just asked him to do it whenever he had the chance or whenever we were both free, since i worked too. I was very polite about this. The sellers were letting me move in some of my things early, so i wanted to get a lot of the stuff done. He said NO. He refused to EVER let me have my things. I wish I could tell you there was some sort of trigger to this or that I saw this coming, but I didn't. It really did come out of nowhere. I thought we were good. He went on about how I probably wasn't even going to let him in the delivery room with me (I had planned on it, I never told him otherwise.)
After he said that, I told him he'd never be in my life and that he would never meet my child or any future children I have. And I meant it. Even if he HAD given me my stuff back, the fact that he said he wasn't going to, at any point....I can't have someone in my life that even CONSIDERS doing that to me or my children. I went on to have my mother and my sister in the delivery room with me and it was an incredible experience. After the whole ordeal, MULTIPLE family members told me they were glad I cut contact with him, because they were SURE he was going to try to do something so I'd look bad, so he could have custody. I'm so glad I didn't trade one abuser for another by continuing to let my dad walk all over me.
I've now moved to another state, living with the man of my dreams and our 2 children that my father has never met.
Today, me and a friend from my hometown were messaging, having a conversation about our parents. She has a very good relationship with her parents. When I brought up that my father hasn't even met my children, she said I overreacted when I cut contact and I'm denying my children a bond with their grandparents.
So reddit, AITA for going No contact with my father?
EDIT: To answer some questions; yes, I did tell everyone who gave me gifts that their gifts were stolen. Yes, I did contact the police. And the sheriff. Neither would help me. They told me I'd need to bring my father to court. I would've done that, but I had just bought a house. I couldn't afford a lawyer and I was just ready to be done with him completely.
Me and my now husband got together shortly after I had my first child. He was my biggest supporter. We were long time friends and it was a long time coming, so we got serious pretty quickly and he's raised both children as his own.
EDIT #2: I couldn't break down the door or take it off its hinges. There were other people in the house, as my dad's gf doesn't work. I was 9 months pregnant and already under a lot of stress. They definitely would've called the cops if I tried to break into the room.

I live in a 2 bedroom flat with my wife and 4 kids. 13, 11, 5 and 2. One of them has autism. It's temporary/emergency accommodation as our old landlord sold the house we rented and we cannot afford the rent prices here, so regrettably had to request help from Local Authority to house us.
Since someone has moved in downstairs, we have had issues with noise, banging and broken window by our front door. He also has Autism. 1 bedroom flat, on his own. He has a stopcock valve to our flat in his flat and has turned our water off. Its been 11 days since he turned it off, then back on again minimally. Now the pressure is decreasing daily, it takes over a minute to fill a litre bottle of water. The electric shower doesn't work. The washing machine doesn't work.
We have reported all this to building management and he is refusing entry to his flat, so that a plumber can remove the stopcock valve and we have water again.
There are 6 of us living here with such a pitiful supply of water. What can I do? I've asked him, politely, to turn the water back on and he said yes. Didn't, instead reported me to the police for threatening behaviour and discrimination towards his disability. Its on our Blink door camera that my conversation with him was in no way threatening nor was I discriminatory.
How do I go about getting my supply sorted? Can I report him to the police for terrorising my family? Shouldn't I have access to clean water legally, by Human Rights Law? In England.

I (19M) have had a girlfriend (19F) for almost a year at this point. My mother (55F) has known about her since the beginning of the relationship and even when we were still friends. My mother and I have had one of the rockiest relationships ever since I can remember. Anyways, my gf and I are sexually active and we've done our best to cover it up but I accidentally left a planned parenthood card on the table, after a pregnancy scare. My mom found it and asked me "So how long have you guys been having sex?" Let this show that my mom has tried to talk about sex with me for a long time and each time she brings up the topic, I try my best to respectfully shoot it down before the yelling match starts. This time, I got embarrassed because it was out of nowhere and that's something really personal of mine. I told her to stop being nosey and to stop trying to talk about sex with me because it was none of her business. She didn't listen though and tried to carry on the conversation like I hadn't just said that. I had to raise my voice over the volume of hers to get her to stop and then she got mad at me for being disrespectful. Anyways, after that altercation I was feeling embarrassed, exposed and angry. I decided since she couldn't respect my boundaries, I didn't want her following me on social media so I took her off of mine. A few days later she found out and got mad saying that I'm mean to her and that I don't want to have a relationship with her and that since I don't need her I can do everything myself and that I don't know shit. I think taking her off my social media was consequences and not uncalled for but she called me mean for it and said I'm always mean to her. AITAH?

Apologies for the wall of text incoming. This is my first time dealing with this level of incompetency, so I'm not sure what to do. I just got back from my Honeymoon of two weeks. The week prior to departing, I put in a mail hold request for the duration which went through and was confirmed. On the second day of the trip, I see an Informed Delivery message indicating 4 pieces of mail were coming, but I don't know if Informed Delivery during a mail hold is just indicative of what is being held, or if it's going to actually get delivered and my hold is being ignored. What I also see is a package out for delivery, so I call my post office and talk to someone about this and they say they'll take care of it. I get a call back 30 minutes later, it's all taken care of, and I see the tracking on the package has changed to being held at customer request. I continue to get informed delivery messages for mail, but like I said earlier, I don't know if that's just what happens during a hold.
Flash forward to this previous Sunday, we get home, I check mail to see if that stuff actually got delivered or if it was on hold (It was not due to be delivered until today, Tuesday) and lo and behold, multiple pieces of mail are in the box. Not everything from informed delivery, but at least 75%. What's missing are 1 wedding card, and all the mail from that day I called. I pray that somehow some mail is going to get delivered still, but Monday afternoon nothing had arrived so I drive to the post office. I state the situation and ask if I have mail here and where the package is, as the tracking still says held as USPS. They tell me to go wait by this door to talk to a sup. I stand at this door like an idiot for 30 minutes. Nobody comes. The lady that originally helped me has been helping others the whole time, and I work in customer service and know what it's like to be slammed, so I'm trying not to get too angry, and she eventually sees nobody has helped me and asks the second clerk to help me next. This second clerk takes my info, goes and looks, and returns saying they have no mail for me. I say ok but what about the package, give her the tracking number. She passes this off to a third person.
Third person comes back 10 minutes later with a fat stack of mail saying hey I found it all! I ask about the package, and she says oh let me go look what's the tracking number. I give the number, and she disappears. While she's looking, I look at the mail she handed me and it's not my mail. She literally gave me someone else's mail that also has their mail on hold. The addresses were similar, off by 1 number, but seriously, no wonder mail is missing all the time. Another 15 minutes goes by (I've now been at the post office for an hour) and the original lady looks at me and asks if anyone is still helping me. I say yeah they are looking for the package. She asks me for tracking number. Third person comes out and says the supervisor looked but the package is lost. The original clerk hears this and from what i can infer, thinks 3rd person is incompetent, and says no let me handle this. She takes my name, phone number, address, and tracking number and says she'll get the sup to find it and call me back.
Needless to say, nobody ever called me back. So now here I am with a missing wedding card that likely has some monetary gift inside, a missing package (still says held at USPS per customer request) that also is likely a wedding gift because we have no record of the tracking number in any of our orders and aren't expecting anything, and have no idea what to do. While I could find out what was in the card, that's an incredibly awkward conversation. I have no idea how to figure out what was in the package short of asking every single person we invited if they had a gift shipped to our home, and if so what it was. And even if I did have the value of all those missing items, would USPS insurance even cover it?

So my wife's brother... I've never liked him. I keep my mouth shut about it, but I've always found him to be arrogant in the extreme. Anytime there's a gathering of my wife's family, he talks over everyone, every conversation has to be about him. And he tells these insanely long stories that have no point, it's more just to keep the attention on him. He lives with his girlfriend, who doesn't work and hasn't ever had a job. Now, against my better judgement, in the last two years (my wife wanted to.) we have 'loaned' him over 3 grand. He's a car salesman, and blows through any money he makes selling cars like it's water. Never saves... nothing. So when sales drop, he has no money for anything... rent, food, gas, you name it.
Well... I often look at court records in my area. Public records. Mostly so I can make sure my daughter (a whole nother story) didn't get yet another speeding ticket and try to hide it from us. (she's 17, did that once, and she's on our insurance.) I was on there the day after my wife's birthday at the end of March. The whole time her brother had been again... talking over everyone, and making himself the center of attention. He didn't give her a present, and tried to swipe a gift card she'd gotten from her parents. So he was down on my list (as usual.)
Anyway... I put his name in.. and... there it was. Chase Bank is looking for him to sue him for a credit card. It was a 7k debt. Looking to take him to small claims court. Not astronomical, but for him, probably a lot. But... they had attempted to serve him at his old apartment it looked like, and he'd moved (again) because he couldn't afford that place. I was pissed at him still for how he'd acted the day before and... I looked up and found the server who had been assigned (it's all in the court docket) and using a new email address I made up, sent them his current address.
Well.... it worked, and he's being taken to court. My wife wants to give him 50% of the money, and have her parents give him the other 50%. I'm totally against it, but I can't help but feel like I'm the asshole because I let them know where to find him.

I hate loneliness, I am seeking someone who I can connect to hopefully on a daily basis. My days are quite boring so it'd be nice to have a friend to talk to and really go from there.
A bit about me, I am kind, thoughtful and generally take interest in others and learning what drives their passions and more. I am a working professional and wfh most days of the week. I would say I'm alternative? However I just see myself as me! I like video games although not as much as I used to. I like metal/older emo style music, I do have other hobbies which I can discuss more in detail if we connect. I don't mind if we're in every aspect I am quite accepting in general, it's just a connection of what I am looking for.
I'd like to get to know someone and ask them how their day is and let the conversation flow. I am generally looking for a longer type of connection rather than just for a few hours or similar. Happy to move to a different platform for chatting once a connection is made!
Age range: noone under 28 please.
My question to yourself is; What did you do at the weekend and what is your favourite colour?
Chat dms over messages please, thanks for reading 😊

I asked chatGPT this question: My wife cried this mother's day because she was jealous that my mother takes care of me while she has to take care of her mother. My mother spoils me when I come over to her house, randomly buys me groceries when she has a generous urge, and pays my phone and gym bill while I'm in college. She would do anything for me. She is a saint and I'm very lucky to have her as a mother. My wife's mother depends on my wife to function day to day. My wife takes care of her other siblings, plans all the family get togethers, looks out for her half brother in high school, while taking care of her own 6 year old child. My wife once had to pretend to be her mother because her half brother got into some trouble at high school and her mother was too afraid to talk with the counselor. I told my wife that my mother is her mother now. And that my family loves and accepts her as one of their own. How can I ask my mother to treat my wife like she's her daughter? What are some good mothedaughter activates that they can do together? Not that my mother doesn't treat my wife with kindness, she does, I just want them to form a stronger bond and for my wife to not think of my mother as an in-law and start thinking of her as a mother.
chatGPT response: It sounds like you're in a complex situation, but it's wonderful that you want to foster a stronger bond between your wife and your mother. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Open Communication: Have an honest conversation with both your wife and your mother separately. Explain your desire for them to have a closer relationship and express how important it is to you.
2. Express Gratitude: Make sure both your wife and your mother understand how much you appreciate their roles in your life. Let them know that you value their relationship and want to see it grow.
3. Facilitate Quality Time: Encourage them to spend time together doing activities they both enjoy. This could be anything from cooking together, going for walks, attending a class or workshop, or simply having coffee and chatting.
4. Include Both Families: Plan family gatherings or outings where both your wife's and your mother's families can come together. This will help them bond in a more relaxed setting and see each other as part of the same extended family.
5. Show Support: Be there to support both your wife and your mother as they navigate their relationship. Offer reassurance and encouragement as they work towards building a stronger bond.

As for mother-daughter activities, here are some ideas:

1. Shopping: Whether it's for clothes, home decor, or groceries, shopping together can be a fun bonding experience.
2. Cooking or Baking: Spend a day in the kitchen cooking up some family recipes or trying out new ones together.
3. Crafting or DIY Projects: Get creative with some crafting projects or tackle some DIY home improvement tasks together.
4. Spa Day: Treat them to a spa day or create a DIY spa experience at home with facials, manicures, and relaxation techniques.
5. Outdoor Adventures: Go for a hike, have a picnic in the park, or explore a nearby botanical garden together.

Remember to be patient and understanding as they navigate their relationship. Building strong bonds takes time and effort from all parties involved.
I'm going to take the AI's advice but, I was hoping that someone, who has gone through something similar, could share what helped their spouse form a stronger bond with their in-laws. Some background information: my wife is in her 20s, my mother is in her 50s and married to my father, and we live in Kentucky.

we have renal in about a week and then one week to prep for an NBME m1 cumulative exam. I've been using banking and never suspending but I have been somewhat dishonest on mature cards and rescheduling with FSRS such that my card burden is maintainable. usually unsuspend 200-300/day based on BnB + Sketchy + FA, and its hard enough to keep up with the current block.
I'm an MD/PhD student so I'm doing summer lab rotations and I'm terrified of forgetting everything from m1 or conversely trying to relearn everything and getting overwhelmed. How can I spot test my knowledge on mature cards to relearn them/consolidate a year's worth of material in just 8 weeks????
legit panicking as I really want to do well on the CBSEs in the fall so I can take a short dedicated, but now it looks like I'm just doing a shit job.
if anyone saw my previous neurotic post (sorry) I have gotten my exam scores up to be in the 85-93 range for in house exams and I've been exhausting uworld for each block + redoing my incorrect.
how can I study effectively during the summer while balancing a 9-5 lab responsibility + prepping for step?

(This is just a rant, but feel free to respond and call me out for being dumb; I need a hard shake and some sense.)
Situation: My country is homophobic, but the island I live on (I moved here a few months ago) is somewhat gay-safe, if not gay-friendly, since it's a touristic area and we have gay bars, etc. It is also known for its spirituality since the majority religion here is different from the majority religion in the country.
A few months ago, I went to a local spiritual healer here following a friend's suggestion. I am not really a believer, although I am interested in spirituality. I went there anyway because I was in such a mental mess and desperately sought help in any form. I told her why I was feeling low, that I had low self-esteem, and that I was heartbroken by failed relationships while desperately wanting one. I also felt lonely, especially since my family can't accept that I am gay. I emphasized that I don't feel anything wrong about being gay, especially since she mentioned some gays who came to her and changed, and I remembered she said that's okay, which made me feel more comfortable seeing her.
I came back a few times, and I initiated the second meeting because I just wanted to do something, even if it was pseudo-science or a placebo effect. When I asked to pray to the gods, I was like, please, I want to meet a guy and fall in love with him, and I want my hemorrhoids and whatever butt problems I have to go away so I could have satisfying anal sex lol.
At tonight's meeting, she kept talking about me being cured and being on "the right path," about the nature of being created as a man and woman. And that if I continue in my previous way of life, it's the way of death. I felt alarmed and asked her if she was referring to my homosexuality and if that was the reason I was miserable. She said yes, but not to worry because she had successfully cured 72 others. I protested that I came here not to be cured of my homosexuality as I feel nothing wrong about it, but she said she was just doing what my ancestors asked her to do and that many of her clients also said the same but were eventually cured. Turns out I am her patient number 73 to be cured of homosexuality without me asking for it.
I feel sad that once again, I can't find full acceptance as a gay person. It's just like what my other friends do: they are okay that I am gay but wish one day I will be back on "the right path." (I can't even trust my therapists because they are a Muslim/Christian)
What upsets me more is that I already have some thoughts about some of the things she said. Not about being cured, but about how my life is miserable as a gay person. I have no gay friends, struggle to find someone, feel lonely, and living in a homophobic place like this makes it harder to have safe discussions about gay sex health with doctors (so yeah it could be a way of death for me). Meanwhile, I am surrounded by people who are okay with me being gay but secretly pray the gay away from me. And although I am not religious, being raised in a religious society with religious friends, I can't help sometimes thinking if my butt problems are a "punishment" for engaging in gay sex. (And now she kinda waters these thoughts in my head.)
I don't think being gay is a curse, but I am cursed to be born, grow up, and live in this environment. I know I am old enough to not give a fvck, and take care of myself, but I am still in such an unstable mental health, while these are the people that make feel welcome and safe in a way, but with certain intentions.
So yeah, that's how I unintentionally went to a conversion therapy. As I said, this is just a rant, but feel free to respond and call me out for being dumb; I need a hard shake and some sense.

hi!
im done school for the year so now im turning up for the summer! i’d love to get to know some new people and make some new online friends that can keep me company!
a little mix of flirty banter and meaningful conversation would be perfect💕 would totally love someone I can talk to in my daily life about anything and everything
send me an interesting chat and tell me about yourself! but don’t just hit me with “hey”/“hi”/“what’s up”/etc. ✨please be able to hold a conversation✨and put effort into our talks. im super down to talk about anything as long as we vibe!
tell me if you’re watching the nba playoffs!🏀 tell me you’re team drake🦉💕 tell me about your summer plans! tell me about your passions!
vent to me about your job. tell me about your amazing relationship or vent to me about how messy the break up was; im here for the tea.
tell me your fav new show or song. tell me if the current events worry you.😩 tell me if you’re happy with life. talk to me about anything; let’s have a great conversation? :)
a little about me:

• im lebanese / canadian
  
• im bisexual / pansexual
  
• im a goofy sarcastic person at heart, i love to make people laugh, im pretty open minded and if you need someone to rant to or vent im a good listener
  
• i have an older sister
  
• i love back and forth playful banter, roasting each other and all things that energy
  
• im a night owl (est time zone, bonus points if you can keep me company late at night)
  
• just finished my freshmen year of university in canada; i want to be a doctor eventually
  
• i have have the cutest cloud dog
  
• im super outgoing and outdoorsy and want to travel the world as much as possible, i love to visit different areas and take part in new experiences! hiking through mountains, kayaking, rafting, camping, soaking in the sights and the atmosphere, and trying all the amazing local food. love going out with friends to concerts, to dance, to go on road trips, cottage trips and beach days
  
• i love to stay active, im a big basketball fan. (also a casual nfl fan)
  
• i have progressive / leftist views. pro-choice, lgbtqia+, etc
  
• little bit of a foodie
  
• love hiphop and r&b the most but a listen to a bit of everything else too
  
• some shows i love: breaking bad, the bear, russian doll, game of thrones (before it became terrible), avatar the last airbender, house md (also i watch a few anime)
  
• some movies I love: everything everywhere all at once, spiderverse 2, the dark knight, interstellar, the incredibles
  
• i don’t play video games
  
• i love to read too; hot take, the percy jackson (and sequel) series > the harry potter series
  

if any of that interests you send me a chat and let’s talk 💕 (i may get too many chats to reply to everyone so I apologize in advance! please keep that in mind but I’ll try to eventually get to everyone that grabs my attention thank you!)

original setting by Michael McNeill
Myrla sat at one of the tables in the food court area of Nantrella Station. The Greylin’s crew had discovered several ships docked with family members on board and this had led to a rather impressively large impromptu family reunion with several dozen kwonese spacers gathered up in one space.
She was sitting slouched over the table, the only human in a sea of furry ratfolk, nursing her drink. It was a chocaf that one of the family from another ship had spiked with something s/he said was an intoxicant that she would enjoy. Myrla wasn’t sure if it was intoxicating, but it did add a pleasant richness to the drink and it warmed her in a way chocaf didn’t normally do.
She was reaching the end of her drink and was starting to wonder if she should try to find the kwonese who had spiked her drink to ask for a second round when she realized some of her crewmates nearby were talking about her. She hadn’t been listening, really, her mind just floating along in the comfortable feel of the “group-snuggle” as they called it, so she wasn’t sure what was going on.
After a few seconds of focusing on the conversation, she realized they were bragging about her. That was when one of them turned to her, dragging her into the conversation.
“Yah, see! This Myrla, she top stevedore, better than ya porter drone!” Nellin, one of the crew-family she had little interaction with other than when it was time to hustle cargo, had grabbed her by the sleeve and was tugging her into a small cluster of kwonese sitting around one of the tables. She only recognized one other face as being part of the Greylin crew. Nellin served as the ship’s load-master and chief stevedore, so she assumed the others in the group likely held similar positions on their own ships.
Myrla hoisted her cup in greeting, a lopsided smile on her face. Then she realized she did know another of the faces in the group – the cousin who had spiked her chocaf. Grinning, she pulled her arm free of Nellin’s grip and pointed to him then to her almost empty cup. “I’m going to need some more of that, cousin.”
This set off titters of laughter around the crew as the kwonese in question hauled out a silver flask from his vest pocket. “Powerful stuff, yah!” He made smacking sounds as he fixed her another chocaf from the table’s dispenser. “Makin’ it on the Yeongja, we do. Best you find.”
She drained her first cup and picked up the second. If it was an intoxicant, it was either incredibly weak or it was so smooth that it would hit her like a sledgehammer later. Either way, it was a delightful pairing with the bitterness of the chocaf. She took a sip of the fresh drink, smiling as the warmth seeped into her. The group shuffled around to make a spot for her to sit.
One of the others, a grizzled older kwonese, looked at her one eyebrow raised. “Nellin say you top stevedore. Say you outwork drone. Been load-master on Yeongja ten year and four more now on /San Matteo/. Not seeing that happen yet.”
She looked over Nellin and raised her cup in his direction. “[Samchun ]()[[MM1]](#_msocom_1) has never voiced displeasure with my work. If he wishes to say I work harder than a cargo drone, that is his choice.”
Her comment brought hoots of laughter from around the table. Out-bragging in a family was something of a sport with the kwonese and diplomatically saying they were boasting without calling them a liar was an integral part of the game, even better if you were doing so in support of them.
“Well-saying, [olinee]()[[MM2]](#_msocom_2) .” The grizzled cargo-chief crinkled his snout and raised his glass at her. “But now chincheog making me curious. Never seeing such a thing not being the same as impossible thing.” He paused to scratch his whiskers. “Not working much with your kind, true, so never seeing how much you can do.” Several of the group lightly slapped the tabletop and looked in her direction.
She glanced down at Nellin, seeing his whiskers twitching. His body language was just like it would be if they were playing cards and he were holding a winning hand, waiting on the pool to grow. Long seconds passed before the one she’d mentally dubbed “Mister Flask” leaned in.
“Let’s make it interesting.”
And there it was. Cred-chips started hitting the table and in moments, crew from all the ships were aware of the betting taking place. She sat, sipping her doctored chocaf, as the kwonese around her seemed to turn into a boiling pool of sleek fur and whiskers. Across the table, “Mister Flask” raised his cup to her … and winked.
She grinned back at him, returning the gesture. Now what was that all about?
One of the twins – probably Mikkeulon, from the scent – saw the exchange and leaned close to her. “Oh-ho! You catching Peulla’s eye, then! Good choice, but he wild.”
Myrla sputtered into her cup, but before she could say anything, the twin was gone. Then Nellin leaned in close. “You got this, girlee. Seen you move more easy. Just be going slow and easy and Greylin family got drinks for all station-time, ya.”
Myrla smiled to herself, shaking her head. The cargo-master may have said the Greylin’s crew would have all their drinks covered during their port-time, but given the kwonese need for these family get-togethers, “hajog-poog” they called them, every kwonese on the station would be regular visitors to the Greylin. The betting was just the method they used to pick which ship the party was held on.

It wasn’t long before the entire party had relocated to the docks where San Matteo was set to disgorge its cargo. The grizzled cargo-master, who Myrla now knew to be named Tostiklin, had one of the enormous cargo bays set up for the impromptu competition. She’d sent Orak off to the /Greylin/ to retrieve her backpack, leading to a humorous scene as the young kwonese came running into the docking area dragging the pack that was easily as large as he was. She stripped away the actual pack and her possessions that it held, leaving just the pack-frame. She tasked Orak with perching on the pack itself, to make sure it didn’t get lost in the excitement.
She walked over to the small cluster of cargo-masters and hefted her packframe. “I assume I’m allowed to use a cargo rack, since the drone has one?” She watched as several of them suppressed snickers and Tostiklin wrinkled his snout in amusement.
He waved absently. “Yahyey, of course! Wanting a fair run, we.” He motioned the cargo drone over, which stood almost twice as tall as its crewmates. The crowd settled down to a low murmur as the cargo master addressed the two. “This being the rules. Moving cargo for one minute, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated position.” He pointed to a pair of chalked squares some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
The drone’s head rotated from the kwonese to Myrla to the two stacks of cargo containers and back. “I to compete against this gentlebeing? Moving cargo like normal work?”
“Yes, Ledo.”
The drone dipped its head. “Understood but I do not understand why.”
Myrla leaned close to the drone. “They gambling on us. Who can shift more.”
The drone tipped its expressionless face first to one side then to the other while looking at her, a low whir of servos barely audible. Then it looked toward the group of kwonese for a moment. “Oh. Oh. Then … perhaps I should apologize now?”
Myrla grinned. “Apologize for what?”
“I am made to shift significant amounts of cargo. You do not appear to be. I shall apologize now for embarrassing you in front of your shipmates.”
Myrla laughed and patted the drone on its arm. “It’s all in fun, Ledo. I won’t be embarrassed.”
She could detect a faint note of smugness in the mechanical’s speech. “Very well. Then let us proceed.”
“Geebees, are clear on rules?” Myrla and Ledo both indicated their assent. “Then please stand by cargo.”
When they had taken their places, Tostiklin pulled a whistle from his pocket and blew on it. Myrla and Ledo began quickly assembling their loads. Remembering Nellin’s admonition, she carefully restricted her load, adding two containers more to hers than the drone loaded onto itself. It was enough weight to slow her down considerably, but she could still keep up with Ledo without straining.
Together, they dropped their cargo loads inside their assigned squares and Myrla fought the urge to race ahead of the drone, keeping pace with it instead. Twice more the cycle repeated itself, with Myrla carrying just enough extra to stay ahead in the count.
When the whistle blew a second time, the gathered cargo-masters counted the crates in each stack. Tostiklin’s face was a study in surprise as he counted Myrla’s stack again.
He looked at Nellin. “Your stevedore has clearly won. By a mere six crates, but she has won.” The kwonese erupted into cheers and groans, depending on the amount of credits they had won or lost. Tostiklin held up a hand and the crowd quieted down. “But you say she outwork drone. Win by six is much as keep up with drone.”
The crowd inhaled as a whole. /San Matteo/’s cargo chief was treading the fine line of being rude, almost accusing Nellin of lying. The older kwonese narrowed his eyes, looking for at Nellin, then Myrla, then at the crowd. “I like very much to be seeing her truly outwork drone. What is prize money?” One of the younger cargo-masters gave him the figure. “I say offering own creds to match that, double or nothing.”
The crowd went wild, the line of propriety saved. Myrla doubted Nellin had that sort of funds available, based on his change in body language. From behind her, she heard a female kwonese start chanting, “Match! Match!” She and Nellin turned to look, seeing Captain Wanniv shaking her fist in the air. In seconds, all the /Greylin/’s crew was chanting with her.
“Match! Match! Match!”
Nellin looked at her, his nervousness evident, even though things were going exactly like he’d told her they would. She winked at him and gave him a quick nod.
His bearing changed imperceptibly as he turned back to Tostiklin. “Yahyey, chincheog. You be seeing truth.”
Ban Baekui had sidled up beside her, patting her arm. “Time be taking off the governor, ya.”
She nodded absently, her gaze wandering around the room, watching as dozens of groupings indicated the level of betting taking place. “Got your bets made, chief?”
“Already making creds plenty. This to be sheer kwaja!”
She looked down at him, grinning. “The captain plays cards with Nellin, doesn’t she?”
Ban gave her a curious tilt of his head. “Frequently. Why you ask?”
Myrla nodded to herself, looking around again. “She backed him up at the perfect time. This gonna bring some notoriety to the Greylin. And that converts to …” She looked back at the ship’s lead mechanic, grinning broadly.
“Jobs. Bigger and better.” Ban nodded, grinning back. “Not playing cards with you, girlee. Best getting ready, then.”
Ban faded back into the crowd, leaving her with Nellin. “You good with this? Tossi want longer timeframe for this.”
Myrla dropped to one knee, making it so she had to look up slightly at the cargo master. “I need some advice, chief.” Nellin blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in the situation. When he signaled his assent, she continued. “There’s more going on than what I’m seeing. You just used a blood-kin name for him. The captain backed you up publicly under his challenge, so she’s now tied the two of you together, your win is now her win, and your loss her loss. Tostiklin almost called you a liar in front of everyone, but pulled it out by upping the bet.” She scanned the crowd, seeing several non-kwonese beginning to intermingle. “And that is interesting. More geebees are joining the party. And those aren’t spacers.” Her eyes narrowed. “Those are brokers – I recognize two of them.”
Nellin wrung his hands, a faint tang of nervousness coloring his odor. “Is … is complicated.”
“Not from my end, chief. Tostiklin wants to see how hard I can work, because he wants to learn more about my people and is willing to pay for the privilege. And he wants to see me lose to gloat…” She looked at Nellin as he started squirming again. “He doesn’t want me to lose.” She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Who is he related to by blood on the Greylin?”
“He brother to captain’s father…” Myrla’s eyes lit up in sudden understanding. “…and is brother to my mother’s mother.”
Myrla’s jaw dropped slightly as several puzzle pieces clicked into place. “He … he doesn’t want us to fail at all. He’s loaning the captain operating money as well as boosting the ship’s reputation.”
Nellin put his hands out to shush her. “Not be saying this!”
The good side of her mouth pulled up in a smile. “Don’t worry, not a word. Plus, by challenging you like this, you gain even more credibility with the family after I smoke that presumptuous cargo drone at his own game. You gain a reputation for understating how good something is.”
“See … is complicated.”
“Chief, go make your personal bets. This run is about to get interesting.”
The next ten minutes was a flurry of action as bets were made and new spectators arrived from stationside. At one point, Peulla drifted by, pressing another cup of that deliciously spiked chocaf into her hand with a wink. Soon, the cargo masters were huddled up again.
Tostiklin had found a voice amplifier somewhere, letting his voice be heard over the noises of the much-larger crowd. “We be setting round two. Nellin, loadmaster of the Greylin Bostlin, say he crewmate outwork cargo drone. We see earlier this geebee do that.” He indicated Myrla and she waved at the crowd, to delighted cheers from more than just her shipmates. “I say she barely beat cargo drone and I ask for a rematch. I offer double to see she truly outwork drone!” The crowd roared excitedly. “I ask to see geebee outwork drone and just minutes not enough. I ask for one whole hour!”
The crowd erupted into a frenzy and Myrla blinked in confusion. Nobody mentioned hauling cargo for an hour, she thought.
Captain Wanniv had slipped up beside her. “Just another day on the docks, ya?”
Turning to the captain with a smile, she said, “Using my own words against me as inspiration? I’m … well, I don’t guess I’m shocked. And yes, I’m good for it.”
“Is good. All this good.”
Myrla gave the captain a wink. “I love how they brought in some of the local cargo brokers and the Dockworker’s Guild to watch. San Matteo is a respected crew. To see them give the Greylin respect will carry weight later.”
The captain’s eyes crinkled. “I have no idea what you mean.”
Finally, the crowd calmed down again. Siezing the moment, Myrla stepped forward to address the Matteo’s cargo-master. “Samchun, it seems to me that all of our competition is being done handling cargo from the San Matteo. If we are unloading cargo, then am I working for you? And, if I am working, then as a member of the Stevedore and Dockworker’s Guild, I have to be paid or I lose my license. And I cannot bet on myself.”
The crowd fell to a dead silence as Tostiklin’s eyebrows rose slowly, first one then the other.
“FAIR!” Someone in the crowd shouted.
Tostiklin glanced in the direction of the speaker and turned back to Myrla, nodding slowly. “Wisdom speaks.” A grin slowly spread across his face. “I will pay you one hour with a bonus in proportional to how well you outwork the drone.”
Myrla nodded. “I accept these terms and your grace in offering them.” This brought a round of applause from the crowd.
“Again! This being the rules! Moving cargo for one hour, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated platform.” He pointed to a pair of conveyor platforms some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
Both workers gave their assent.
“Geebees, to your starting places!” Again, a blast from the whistle signaled the start of the competition. Both fell to their task and worked steadily, but Myrla thought it looked as though the drone knew it had already been beaten. For every stack of crates it moved, she moved twice as many. When it tried to match her volume, its speed dropped off significantly to the sound of overloaded drive motors.
They were well and thoroughly inside the cargo bay of the /San Matteo/ and the crowd was only able to keep up by watching on a series of holoscreens that had been set up for the purpose. True to Bae’s request, she “pulled the governors off,” falling into her work-trance, letting the crates guide her flow. The conveyor platforms advanced with them, never more than thirty feet away, making the job a bit less arduous. The cargo-master group was inside with them, as well, and Myrla shut them out by treating them like she did any other client who hung out to watch her work.
She was so deep into her work that the whistle caught her by surprise and Nellin had to physically intervene to get her attention.
“Is good, girlee. We done it. YOU done it.”
Myrla walked out of the cargo hold, blinking and shaking her head, trying to get refocused on where she was. Then she realized the entire hajog was chanting her name. Bae and Wanniv were waiting on her at the bay-door. Bae handed her a bottle of water and Wanniv grabbed Myrla’s free hand in both of hers. “You best lucky charm!” As the crowd caught sight of her, the chant broke into a wordless cheer that threatened to overwhelm her.
Finally, the cargo-masters made their counts and conferred together with a lot of nodding and one shaking their head incredulously. Tostiklin motioned her and the cargo drone forward to join them.
“Thinking it clear who wins.” He broke off with a grin as the crowd erupted into cheers again. He tried to continue twice before the cheering died down enough to let him be heard. “Seeing you never slowed down, girlee. Thinking maybe you having another gear or two.”
Smiling, Myrla shrugged as the crowd went wild again.
“And!” He held up a pouch for everyone to see. “And, here is your payment. One hour’s wage for a class five stevedore. And since you performed double what the drone performed, your wages are doubled.”
Again, the crowd roared and she fought to keep the surprise off her face. She was a class one stevedore and class five rates were significantly higher than she was used to getting. As she accepted the pouch from him, she leaned in to be heard above the crowd. “You are a wise and honorable gentlebeing, Samchun. May your words echo among many gajog.”
That got her an extra cheer from the cargo-chiefs and a pat on the cheek from a grinning Tostiklin. “You taking good-good care of the Greylin crew, then. So, let’s be drinking to this!”

Unfortunately my no contact with Nex was rudely interrupted once I completed one month mark. I have blocked all his accounts. Unfortunately he found a way to call me using No Caller Id that surpasses his blocked number. He went on talking, apologizing, crying, blaming me, asking me to keep talking to him atleast once per day. I felt bad. But I remained strict. I told him to see therapist, tell his friends his emotional state and about the breakup which he hasn’t done still. The only reason that I’m getting these calls after 1 month mark is because now he’s back to living alone in his apartment as his friend who was staying there just left 2 days ago. It makes sense. He’s calls go from. “Tell me everything that I did wrong” to “Please stop blaming me I can’t take it anymore”, then from “you were right about everything like him being emotionally manipulative“ to “because of me you have made such progress” then “please keep talking to me because I’m not able to sleep” “support me to get over you by talking to you because you have done it so well”. Well I know, it’s my bad to have talked to him for so long. Literally talking to him and his manipulative words takes my progress backwards. I have told him that for my own sake of mental wellbeing I will not be picking his calls and please reach out to his friends and therapist instead. Of course he wouldn’t respect this. I found a way to silence the No caller Id calls but not block yet. So I see the missed calls. It’s seriously disturbing. I feel guilt and bad for him too. Because he doesn’t have capacity to process emotions. I know it’s not my responsibility either, after all that’s happened. Somewhere I’m scared how he’ll be able to deal with all this especially living alone. But I know I would only go more into the pit if i keep letting him get to my head.
Unfortunately every single word from his mouth affects me and I have to keep him blocked. Conversation with him leaves my brain foggy. It really hurts to leave someone you loved in this condition, after all the moments we have shared, promises made and some of the good stuff he’s done for me. But There’s just no way for this one. Hope I’m not the AH to ignore his calls which could be potential pleas for help and redemption in order to protect my peace.
I feel like how can we block another human out like this as if they were an insect. Then I feel that insect is a poisonous scorpion. And this is a true test of my selflove and self preservation to decide will I let the Scorpio bite me piece by piece until i m no more or will I never let that Scorpio near me.

Hey guys, apologies if this isn’t the right flair for this post. I thought this would be a good community to ask as I am not seeking legal advice, just wanted to see if others have had similar experiences and how they got through it.
So basically, two months ago a man (61) that I worked with slapped my butt twice, one after the other, while I was having a conversation with him. I have a witness that saw this take place.
At the time, I did not want to formally report it given the nature of my workplace. I work in a pretty blue collar place, and I am one of the few women in the office, and the only young woman in the office (22). Essentially, even if my report was anonymous it would be extremely obvious that I was the one that made it. A few weeks after it happened I told our female supervisor (not my direct boss) but asked that she keep it confidential for the time being.
This man has a history of being hostile to many others that work here, he does not have a stellar employment record at my company. The catalyst for me formally reporting the harassment was a couple weeks ago when this man verbally yelled at and physically threatened a male supervisor in our break room. This got me talking to a senior employee in a different division about the man and his behavior.
We then had a private conversation and my coworker escalated my report through the proper management and HR channels. Long story short, they investigated the incident and are not doing anything about it. They told him about my report and told him not to have any contact with me. Other than that, I am on my own. I have tried to push for more action but nothing is happening.
I am crushed, I didn’t want to report it in the first place because I knew nothing would actually be done to correct this situation. Has anyone else gone through a similar experience at work? I am just feeling so down.