Famous personification poems about love
OldSchoolCool: History's cool kids, looking fantastic
2012.04.21 22:38 Apaz OldSchoolCool: History's cool kids, looking fantastic
/OldSchoolCool **History's cool kids, looking fantastic!** A pictorial and video celebration of history's coolest kids, everything from beatniks to bikers, mods to rude boys, hippies to ravers. And everything in between. If you've found a photo, or a photo essay, of people from the past looking fantastic, here's the place to share it.
2014.12.03 09:07 GylleTheGreat StonerPoems - Share the poems you wrote when you were high
2020.01.08 01:49 BroccoliBros
We love broccoli here. Only rules are no nsfw posts and keep it about broccoli. Post pics of broccoli, memes, or write poems. Broccoli is the focus my brothers.
2024.05.15 04:35 ectocoolerman07 My gta rp character
Just a little background on this guy I currently role-playing as and what are your thoughts I went real into depth with this guy so please gimme ur thoughts
Jerry attricks (unfortunate name I know) was born in liberty city and raised in vice city by his loving parents jerry was a simple man with hopes and dreams. What was that dream. Well at vc university he studied the culinary arts. Jerry always wanted to be a famous chef however for some reason he especially took an interest in the most important meal of the day breakfast. Day in day out that's all he would think about " what's the next biggest breakfast item" he thought to himself . However while he was thinking that he burned his hand on the stove leaving no feeling in his left hand as well as not fingerprints on that hand. But this didn't stop Jerry he was constantly making up new recipes all of the time. Although he had yet to make it big he realized he needed to go to the big city in the other side of the country... LOS SANTOS . Yup that's how he's gonna make it as the next biggest breakfast exclusive chef . After a few years he had saved up enough money to start a breakfast only restaurant open from 1 AM to 12 AM however his first business venture into the culinary arts were unsuccessful and widely forgotten . Downtrodden and beaten he continued his research . Then something snapped he realized he has been looking at breakfast as a whole not the individual ingredients so he stripped everything down and came to the conclusion that milk was what made breakfast breakfast bread was bread cheese is used in anything these days eggs are nothing special bacon is used in burgers for lunch nowadays but milk what else is milk used for almost nothing accept for putting in stuff breakfast is the only time it's ever consumed by itself this was Jerry's new mission give milk to the people of Los Santos milk was the city's thirst that needed to be quenched on that day Jerry grabbed what little money he made from his failed business bought a white van installed a walk in refrigerator in the back of it and became Jerry attricks san Andrea's only milkman
submitted by ectocoolerman07 to GTARP [link] [comments]
Jerry attricks (unfortunate name I know) was born in liberty city and raised in vice city by his loving parents jerry was a simple man with hopes and dreams. What was that dream. Well at vc university he studied the culinary arts. Jerry always wanted to be a famous chef however for some reason he especially took an interest in the most important meal of the day breakfast. Day in day out that's all he would think about " what's the next biggest breakfast item" he thought to himself . However while he was thinking that he burned his hand on the stove leaving no feeling in his left hand as well as not fingerprints on that hand. But this didn't stop Jerry he was constantly making up new recipes all of the time. Although he had yet to make it big he realized he needed to go to the big city in the other side of the country... LOS SANTOS . Yup that's how he's gonna make it as the next biggest breakfast exclusive chef . After a few years he had saved up enough money to start a breakfast only restaurant open from 1 AM to 12 AM however his first business venture into the culinary arts were unsuccessful and widely forgotten . Downtrodden and beaten he continued his research . Then something snapped he realized he has been looking at breakfast as a whole not the individual ingredients so he stripped everything down and came to the conclusion that milk was what made breakfast breakfast bread was bread cheese is used in anything these days eggs are nothing special bacon is used in burgers for lunch nowadays but milk what else is milk used for almost nothing accept for putting in stuff breakfast is the only time it's ever consumed by itself this was Jerry's new mission give milk to the people of Los Santos milk was the city's thirst that needed to be quenched on that day Jerry grabbed what little money he made from his failed business bought a white van installed a walk in refrigerator in the back of it and became Jerry attricks san Andrea's only milkman
2024.05.15 04:20 wordyoucantthinkof Almost killed her with poetry
For context, I was at a small special education school at the time. In 2020, I (20M at the time) had a crush on this woman (20F at the time) who I'll be calling E. In December, we finally admitted we liked each other and decided we decided to make it "official." As someone who had never had a gf at the time, this seemed normal. I didn't know how dating worked and my diagnosed social anxiety makes it especially difficult. I was so happy to have someone who liked me. It turned out that she was a manipulative pos.
After around two weeks, I texted "hey babe." A few messages later, what stated as an innocent "hi" resulted in "I can't do this anymore" and that she was only with me to make up for her lack of self-love and so on. After I asked if she was breaking up and she said "I'm sorry." Then she blocked me.
A month later, she apologized and tried to be my friend again. Unlike previously, decided to take time to think instead of jumping crawling back to her. A week later, she starts to show her true colors. She gets another bf that she never shut up about for MONTHS, and was clearly trying to get to me.
For additional context, I've also been writing poems since late 2020. Mostly as a coping mechanism, but I wrote a total of 102 by the end of 2021. The second was about her and trying to empathize. Starting during early 2021, the school let me show one of my poems.
Flash forward to December, one year after the relationship started. I was showing my poems on Fridays and the first Friday so happened to be exactly one year after our "relationship" started. She bursts into homeroom announcing that she just broke up with her bf.
Enter revenge. On that day, 13 E poems later, I showed a poem about her to EVERYONE. The title was her name, but I changed it to "Daisy" and changed every place her name was in it. It was one of the few poem of her that showed any level of empathy. My friend read it out. Before he did, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. I said yes, despite the fact that I was extremely anxious which was causing my hands to shake so badly that couldn't type.I tried to stall for a moment because E was getting her meds.
Eventually, I couldn't stall anymore and my friend read it. E came into the room when my friend was partway through. She sat down and immediately glanced at me. I was planning to wink when she inevitably looked at me by my social anxiety stopped me. After she looked away, her hand shot up. After my friend finished reading, E asked "who's Daisy?" My eyes were locked on the table in front of me as I simply replied "classified."
A couple weeks later, I show the poem that I wrote to empathize with her. This resulted in her throwing a temper tantrum, a common occurrence. She didn't directly say that the poem upset her, but it was pretty obvious.
I had planned to show a month later that was more harsh. It was a duet called "I'm Sorry" where I paraphrased things she said to me for the first hal and had an aggressive rebuttal from. It was still read, but unfortunately classes changed that week and so she never saw that one. I wish she was the had because her reaction would've been priceless.
Since I failed to place the final nail in the coffin, this wasn't the most pro revenge, but it was so close so I thought I'd share.
submitted by wordyoucantthinkof to pettyrevenge [link] [comments]
After around two weeks, I texted "hey babe." A few messages later, what stated as an innocent "hi" resulted in "I can't do this anymore" and that she was only with me to make up for her lack of self-love and so on. After I asked if she was breaking up and she said "I'm sorry." Then she blocked me.
A month later, she apologized and tried to be my friend again. Unlike previously, decided to take time to think instead of jumping crawling back to her. A week later, she starts to show her true colors. She gets another bf that she never shut up about for MONTHS, and was clearly trying to get to me.
For additional context, I've also been writing poems since late 2020. Mostly as a coping mechanism, but I wrote a total of 102 by the end of 2021. The second was about her and trying to empathize. Starting during early 2021, the school let me show one of my poems.
Flash forward to December, one year after the relationship started. I was showing my poems on Fridays and the first Friday so happened to be exactly one year after our "relationship" started. She bursts into homeroom announcing that she just broke up with her bf.
Enter revenge. On that day, 13 E poems later, I showed a poem about her to EVERYONE. The title was her name, but I changed it to "Daisy" and changed every place her name was in it. It was one of the few poem of her that showed any level of empathy. My friend read it out. Before he did, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. I said yes, despite the fact that I was extremely anxious which was causing my hands to shake so badly that couldn't type.I tried to stall for a moment because E was getting her meds.
Eventually, I couldn't stall anymore and my friend read it. E came into the room when my friend was partway through. She sat down and immediately glanced at me. I was planning to wink when she inevitably looked at me by my social anxiety stopped me. After she looked away, her hand shot up. After my friend finished reading, E asked "who's Daisy?" My eyes were locked on the table in front of me as I simply replied "classified."
A couple weeks later, I show the poem that I wrote to empathize with her. This resulted in her throwing a temper tantrum, a common occurrence. She didn't directly say that the poem upset her, but it was pretty obvious.
I had planned to show a month later that was more harsh. It was a duet called "I'm Sorry" where I paraphrased things she said to me for the first hal and had an aggressive rebuttal from. It was still read, but unfortunately classes changed that week and so she never saw that one. I wish she was the had because her reaction would've been priceless.
Since I failed to place the final nail in the coffin, this wasn't the most pro revenge, but it was so close so I thought I'd share.
2024.05.15 04:05 PotentialResponse578 Stopping cold turkey-expectation?
Hi everyone,
Long time lurker here, using a throwaway account.
I started daydreaming when I was 10 years old. It started as a coping mechanism for childhood trauma related to my parents' divorce. My daydreaming content was pretty typical, imagining myself in a better situation, happier, richer, with imaginery people that loved me and cared for me. Some characters were completely frictional and some based on famous people, but obviously quite modified to fit my daydreaming needs. I found that back then as a kid, it gave me an escape, a way to cope with the shifty situation that I was going through. Overall my childhood was extremely unhappy and daydreaming made it bearable.
I continued daydreaming throughout my teen and early adult years, even when I finally had a life that I wanted and I was able to distant myself from toxic people. I attempted to quit a few times in my early 20s but it gave me so much distress that I stopped after half a day or so.
I've been on medications for anxiety and depression since I was 19 and I had years of counsellings related to my childhood trauma but I never brought up daydreaming to my counselors or anyone else. This is really the first time I am talking about it.
Now fast forward , I am 30 years old. 4 days ago I heard something about the celebrity that was the main character in my daydreams that was kinda messed up. It shattered the image that I had in my mind of them (although, again, it was likely faaaar different from reality). That day I had such an intense bound of depression and SI that made me realize how attached I was to these characteristics, and how made up was my perception of them. I decided to stop daydreaming that day.
Since then, I have not had a single urge to daydream. I feel empty in my head if I'm sitting at home and not doing anything, but I still don't get the desire. I am scared to shit though, since this is not AT ALL how I expected things to go. It's been 4 full days and I feel normal. My life is pretty good now so I'm not needing it as a coping mechanism. I'm so so scared that the desire to daydreaming is gonna come back and crush me unexpectedly in the next hour, day or week. I'm very busy and in the middle of wrapping up multiple work projects and I cannot afford to lose it.
My question is, has anyone experienced this? Did you have an easier time quitting and then all the sudden you got hit out of no where with an intense urge to daydream? Did it get better or worse overtime? I'm scared that something is wrong with me and I just haven't got to the worst parts yet..
Thank you for reading my rant :)
submitted by PotentialResponse578 to MaladaptiveDreaming [link] [comments]
Long time lurker here, using a throwaway account.
I started daydreaming when I was 10 years old. It started as a coping mechanism for childhood trauma related to my parents' divorce. My daydreaming content was pretty typical, imagining myself in a better situation, happier, richer, with imaginery people that loved me and cared for me. Some characters were completely frictional and some based on famous people, but obviously quite modified to fit my daydreaming needs. I found that back then as a kid, it gave me an escape, a way to cope with the shifty situation that I was going through. Overall my childhood was extremely unhappy and daydreaming made it bearable.
I continued daydreaming throughout my teen and early adult years, even when I finally had a life that I wanted and I was able to distant myself from toxic people. I attempted to quit a few times in my early 20s but it gave me so much distress that I stopped after half a day or so.
I've been on medications for anxiety and depression since I was 19 and I had years of counsellings related to my childhood trauma but I never brought up daydreaming to my counselors or anyone else. This is really the first time I am talking about it.
Now fast forward , I am 30 years old. 4 days ago I heard something about the celebrity that was the main character in my daydreams that was kinda messed up. It shattered the image that I had in my mind of them (although, again, it was likely faaaar different from reality). That day I had such an intense bound of depression and SI that made me realize how attached I was to these characteristics, and how made up was my perception of them. I decided to stop daydreaming that day.
Since then, I have not had a single urge to daydream. I feel empty in my head if I'm sitting at home and not doing anything, but I still don't get the desire. I am scared to shit though, since this is not AT ALL how I expected things to go. It's been 4 full days and I feel normal. My life is pretty good now so I'm not needing it as a coping mechanism. I'm so so scared that the desire to daydreaming is gonna come back and crush me unexpectedly in the next hour, day or week. I'm very busy and in the middle of wrapping up multiple work projects and I cannot afford to lose it.
My question is, has anyone experienced this? Did you have an easier time quitting and then all the sudden you got hit out of no where with an intense urge to daydream? Did it get better or worse overtime? I'm scared that something is wrong with me and I just haven't got to the worst parts yet..
Thank you for reading my rant :)
2024.05.15 03:56 xQuant Itinerary Suggestions!
Hi fellow redditors!
I am from Singapore and is bringing my family to Perth for a 1-week holiday from 24 to 31 May 2024, and would like to hear of any suggestions for the residents or people who goes to Perth for holidays on a regular basis please!
We are travelling as a group of 5 young adults (age 25 to 36), 2 older adults (age 60+), 1 old granny (age 90+) and 2 young toddlers (age 2 and 3). There are some places that we really wanted to visit but have to forgo due to having a granny along.
We have rented 2 SUVs, hence we will be driving majority of the time (if there are places that is more recommended to take by public transport / trains, do let me know as my toddlers love to take these transportation options!)
Really appreciate guidance and sharing of any places where locals recommend that we as tourist may not know about. Thank you in advance!
Day 1 Arrival to Perth @ 11am Drop off some luggage at Airport Pick up car at the car rental place Head to town for quick lunch Head to Busselton Accomodation Dinner at Busselton Visit night life at Busselton
Day 2 Morning at Busselton Drive from Busselton to Margaret River (1hr 20mins)
Day 3 Breakfast at Busselton
Day 4 Checkout from Busselton Accoms
Drive from Busselton to Bunbury
Drive around and explore the city
Day 5 Checkout from Bunbury Accoms
Head to Perth City
Day 6 Breakfast at Perth
Visit Caversham Wildlife Park
Ferry from Fremantle to Rottnest Island Return back to Perth City for dinner
Day 7 Breakfast at Perth
Visit the Market (Check market hours)
Day 8 Return Car at Pickup Location
Head to Airport
submitted by xQuant to perth [link] [comments]
I am from Singapore and is bringing my family to Perth for a 1-week holiday from 24 to 31 May 2024, and would like to hear of any suggestions for the residents or people who goes to Perth for holidays on a regular basis please!
We are travelling as a group of 5 young adults (age 25 to 36), 2 older adults (age 60+), 1 old granny (age 90+) and 2 young toddlers (age 2 and 3). There are some places that we really wanted to visit but have to forgo due to having a granny along.
We have rented 2 SUVs, hence we will be driving majority of the time (if there are places that is more recommended to take by public transport / trains, do let me know as my toddlers love to take these transportation options!)
Really appreciate guidance and sharing of any places where locals recommend that we as tourist may not know about. Thank you in advance!
Day 1 Arrival to Perth @ 11am Drop off some luggage at Airport Pick up car at the car rental place Head to town for quick lunch Head to Busselton Accomodation Dinner at Busselton Visit night life at Busselton
Day 2 Morning at Busselton Drive from Busselton to Margaret River (1hr 20mins)
- Sugarloaf Rock
- The Lagoon
- Canal Rocks (Prioritise if no time)
- Wyadup Rocks (Injidup Natural Spa)
- The Margaret River Chocolate Company
- Beerfarm
- Cave (google for family friendly)
Day 3 Breakfast at Busselton
- Take the train to end of the jetty
- Visit underwater observatory (To book tickets online)
- Take photo at the blue houses
- Bring the kids to play at playground (pirate playground)
- Visit Coles supermarket to shop groceries
Day 4 Checkout from Busselton Accoms
Drive from Busselton to Bunbury
- Visit Bunbury Farmers Market
Drive around and explore the city
- Exploring Bunbury
- Visit Ferguson Valley
Day 5 Checkout from Bunbury Accoms
Head to Perth City
- visit the Market (Check market hours)
- Drive to Perth > Frementle
- Lunch at Little Creatures Brewery
- The Containbow (Famous Rainbow Container)
- Cappuccino Strip
Day 6 Breakfast at Perth
Visit Caversham Wildlife Park
Ferry from Fremantle to Rottnest Island Return back to Perth City for dinner
Day 7 Breakfast at Perth
Visit the Market (Check market hours)
- Cappuccino Strip
- Visit the Perth Zoo
- Strawberry Farm
- The National Park near Perth City center
Day 8 Return Car at Pickup Location
Head to Airport
2024.05.15 03:56 OkBookkeeper6854 Nuggets of wisdom (and loud bangs) from 16 years on night shift at King Street McDonalds
There's something very democratic about the Maccas run. It's the one restaurant in town that has had almost everyone as a customer at one time or another.
And, perhaps more than any other in town, the Maccas on the corner of King and Steel streets in Newcastle takes all sorts and has seen - for better or worse - the bones and viscera of the city.
The water lapped at the door the morning the Pasha Bulker ran aground on Nobbys in 2007. Ann Bower had been asked to go and work at the Broadmeadow restaurant that morning. She had slept through the storm overnight but remembers getting to work at 4am for a truck delivery and turning on the TV in the break room.
"I woke up in the morning and heard all the commotion on the radio," she said. "We turned on the TV, and we were gobsmacked - we just thought 'bloody hell' - it had never happened before."
She was working at the Charlestown Maccas in 1989 when the earthquake shook the city to its core. She was in Charlestown Square with her husband and god-children when all the lights suddenly went down.
"My husband and I had gotten married the year before," she said. "All of a sudden, the lights went all black ... we thought it was a bomb scare or something like that - we had no idea what it was."
Ms Bower has spent the last 42 years in the Maccas uniform, first at Charlestown in 1982, then Broadmeadow before she finally came over to King Street in 2008. She's seen 28 managers come and go, has helped kids in their first jobs after school, and has made more cups of coffee than it's possible to count.
(How many a day? Who knows - Ann doesn't drink coffee. She prefers English Breakfast).
She knows her regulars, has made life-long friends on the job, and has been working under the golden arches for some of Newcastle's most formative moments. She remembers when Maccas had counter service and McCafe was a cafe in the front of the store (she remembers the day she and a colleague decided to trial this new idea of making the coffee on the barista for the drive-through customers - 'just to see how it went' - it went off).
She remembers the night Supercars champion Scott McLaughlin came in after winning the Newcastle 500 in 2019. McLaughlin famously described that night as a "self-inflicted" celebration during that dusty Monday morning press conference.
"They came in and were drinking out of the cup," Ann remembers. "The store manager was on that night and (McLaughlin) asked for nuggets. We filled the cup up - that was one of the wildest things."
Ann was 17, just out of school, and wondering which way her career would go when she started at the Broadmeadow restaurant. In those days, the training at Maccas was infamously rigorous (ask anyone who hires in hospitality, and they will tell you a Maccas listing on a resume is a quick way to find a new employee), but more importantly, it was casual work that suited Ann's first love - her commitment to her horses in pony club and showjumping.
Marriage and children followed. Ann remembers returning to work when her daughter was three weeks old. Her husband was working a seven-day roster then.
"He would go to work, and I'd be coming home. We'd pass the baby over," she said. "It was hard, but we did it. We managed."
That's how Ann approaches a lot of things - she calls it her "old school" approach. Her day starts sometime just after midnight. She is in the car by about 1.10am to get to work by 2am. She mops the floors, rotates the stock and prepares for any deliveries, and by 4am she's working the coffee machines, then it's "go, go, go".
"Everybody says I'm mad, but I'm old school," she said, "If you start at 2am, by 6am I've done half my day."
When it's break time, she sits down with her cup of tea, maybe a crumpet she had brought from home, and might add some salad or, in the morning, some bacon. There have been a few more colourful custom orders, of course: chips and ice cream, a few who liked a sundae cup full of pickles, and another lady who liked her toasted sandwich with dipping mustard on the side.
As the camera shutter rattled off for the photos, one of the workers cleaning the windows in the restaurant stopped and smiled.
"It's Ann today," he said. "Lady Ann tomorrow."
She brushes off the joke but says she wouldn't trade the job she's had for over four decades. "You just do it," she said, "Ride the wave - you ride the wave up and down, and then you go again."
submitted by OkBookkeeper6854 to newcastle [link] [comments]
And, perhaps more than any other in town, the Maccas on the corner of King and Steel streets in Newcastle takes all sorts and has seen - for better or worse - the bones and viscera of the city.
The water lapped at the door the morning the Pasha Bulker ran aground on Nobbys in 2007. Ann Bower had been asked to go and work at the Broadmeadow restaurant that morning. She had slept through the storm overnight but remembers getting to work at 4am for a truck delivery and turning on the TV in the break room.
"I woke up in the morning and heard all the commotion on the radio," she said. "We turned on the TV, and we were gobsmacked - we just thought 'bloody hell' - it had never happened before."
She was working at the Charlestown Maccas in 1989 when the earthquake shook the city to its core. She was in Charlestown Square with her husband and god-children when all the lights suddenly went down.
"My husband and I had gotten married the year before," she said. "All of a sudden, the lights went all black ... we thought it was a bomb scare or something like that - we had no idea what it was."
Ms Bower has spent the last 42 years in the Maccas uniform, first at Charlestown in 1982, then Broadmeadow before she finally came over to King Street in 2008. She's seen 28 managers come and go, has helped kids in their first jobs after school, and has made more cups of coffee than it's possible to count.
(How many a day? Who knows - Ann doesn't drink coffee. She prefers English Breakfast).
She knows her regulars, has made life-long friends on the job, and has been working under the golden arches for some of Newcastle's most formative moments. She remembers when Maccas had counter service and McCafe was a cafe in the front of the store (she remembers the day she and a colleague decided to trial this new idea of making the coffee on the barista for the drive-through customers - 'just to see how it went' - it went off).
She remembers the night Supercars champion Scott McLaughlin came in after winning the Newcastle 500 in 2019. McLaughlin famously described that night as a "self-inflicted" celebration during that dusty Monday morning press conference.
"They came in and were drinking out of the cup," Ann remembers. "The store manager was on that night and (McLaughlin) asked for nuggets. We filled the cup up - that was one of the wildest things."
Ann was 17, just out of school, and wondering which way her career would go when she started at the Broadmeadow restaurant. In those days, the training at Maccas was infamously rigorous (ask anyone who hires in hospitality, and they will tell you a Maccas listing on a resume is a quick way to find a new employee), but more importantly, it was casual work that suited Ann's first love - her commitment to her horses in pony club and showjumping.
Marriage and children followed. Ann remembers returning to work when her daughter was three weeks old. Her husband was working a seven-day roster then.
"He would go to work, and I'd be coming home. We'd pass the baby over," she said. "It was hard, but we did it. We managed."
That's how Ann approaches a lot of things - she calls it her "old school" approach. Her day starts sometime just after midnight. She is in the car by about 1.10am to get to work by 2am. She mops the floors, rotates the stock and prepares for any deliveries, and by 4am she's working the coffee machines, then it's "go, go, go".
"Everybody says I'm mad, but I'm old school," she said, "If you start at 2am, by 6am I've done half my day."
When it's break time, she sits down with her cup of tea, maybe a crumpet she had brought from home, and might add some salad or, in the morning, some bacon. There have been a few more colourful custom orders, of course: chips and ice cream, a few who liked a sundae cup full of pickles, and another lady who liked her toasted sandwich with dipping mustard on the side.
As the camera shutter rattled off for the photos, one of the workers cleaning the windows in the restaurant stopped and smiled.
"It's Ann today," he said. "Lady Ann tomorrow."
She brushes off the joke but says she wouldn't trade the job she's had for over four decades. "You just do it," she said, "Ride the wave - you ride the wave up and down, and then you go again."
2024.05.15 03:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 03:45 dicktraitorsip Maithili Literature - Resources
◼️ Part of : Mithila Cultural Archive
This era witnessed the emergence of ballads, songs, and dohas. Among the earliest authors was Jyotirishwar Thakur. His notable contribution to Maithili literature is the Varṇa Ratnākara (1324), an encyclopedic work presented in prose.
1. Varṇa Ratnākara (1324) by Jyotirishwar Thakur - The earliest prose work in the Maithili language, this literary piece offers valuable insights into the life and culture of medieval India. The text is structured into seven Kallolas (waves): Nagara Varṇana, Nāyikā Varṇana, Asthāna Varṇana, Ṛtu Varṇana, Prayāṇa Varṇana, Bhaṭṭādi Varṇana, and Śmaśāna Varṇana.
📩: PDF
🛒: Exotic India Art
📌 Middle Maithili Literature (circa 1350–1830 AD):
This period was characterized by a flourishing of theatrical writings. Notable Maithili writers of this era included:
- Vidyapati (1350–1450)
- Srimanta Sankardeva (1449–1568)
- Govindadas (late 17th century)
- Manbodh (17th century)
1. Purush Pariksha by Vidyapati - Purushpariksha" is a narrative created by Vidyapati. He composed it under the guidance of Maharaja Shiv Singh. The text presents instructive tales in the tradition of Panchatantra. This work stands as a unique creation not only for sociologists, historians, human scientists, and political scientists but also for philosophers and literary enthusiasts.
📩: PDF
🛒: Exotic India Art
2. Vidyapati Padavali by Vidyapati - A compilation of Vidyapati's poetry exists in various versions. One version is an English translation by Coomaraswamy, digitized by Project Gutenberg. Another version is provided by the Indira Gandhi National Centre for the Arts & Clarion Books. Additionally, there is a version by Narendranath Gupta. I will be providing links to all three versions.
📩: PDF (Vidyāpati: Bangīya padābali - Project Gutenberg)
📩: PDF (Vidyapati Ki Padawali - Narendranath Gupta)
🛒: Exotic India Art (Vidyapati: Padavali - Indira Gandhi National Centre for the Arts & Clarion Books)
3. Goraksh Vijaya by Vidyapati - This text is in Sanskrit, but the poetry is in Maithili. To my knowledge, there is no online copy available. I personally had a physical copy, which I have uploaded to the Internet Archive. Feel free to check it out there.
📩: PDF
🛒: don't know if available or not
4. Vivada Chintamani by Vachaspati Mishra - A book that serves as a concise commentary on the Hindu law that is prevalent in Mithila. The book covers a wide range of topics related to the Hindu law, including marriage, inheritance, property rights, and religious practices.
📩: PDF
🛒: Forgotten Books
I'm still on the lookout for more texts. If you come across any additional Maithili literature works from that period,do suggest in the comments. This list is a work in progress, and I'll be updating it bit by bit.
📌 Modern Maithili Literature (1830 AD to date):
George Abraham Grierson, an Irish linguist, and civil servant made a huge impact on the growth of Modern Maithili. His detailed research on Maithili folklore and grammar set the stage for its development today. Magazines and journals also played a big role in shaping Maithili during this time. Baldev Mishra, Surendra Jha 'Suman,' Radha Krishna Choudhary, Jaykant Mishra, Binod Bihari Verma, Dr. Dhirendra, Parichay Das, and Gajendra Thakur were key players in this linguistic journey.
1. Payasvini by Surendra Jha - A collection of 25 poems about beauty of nature, colourful imagery and simplicity of rural life.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
2. The Kinsmen of Ugna (Ugnak Dayabad) by Surendra Jha - This novel is highly readable, especially for those seeking a different model than those centered on class struggle. It also appeals to those interested in the people and culture of Mithila.
📩: PDF
🛒: Amazon
3. Bidagari by Chandranath Mishra - The novel deals with social problem in marriage like dowry, unmatched marriage and likes that dogged the society of Mithila.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
4. Angarejee Phoolaka Chitthee Dr Ramdeo Jha - This novel is a series of exchange of letters between two newly married girls who takes sacred oath to maintain lifelong friendship.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
5. Dattavati by Surendra Jha - This Mahakavya is based on a simple story from the Kathāsaritsāgara also Kathasaritsagara of 11the century.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
6. Madhushravani by Dr Shailendra Mohan Jha - A beautifully crafted love story, this novel is set against the backdrop of Mithila's refined cultural heritage. The main characters, Nalini and Kamal, share a deep love for each other. However, their pure and pristine love fails to blossom into a marital relationship.
📩: PDF
🛒: Amazon
7. Pratigya Pandav by Babuaji Jha - Pratigya Pandav in 11 cantos is based on the Sabha Parva of Mahabharata in which the poet has very vividly described the forebodings of war and advocated the need for peace, national integrity and morality.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
8. Saon Bhadav by Surendra Jha - A nature poem depicts the rainy season of Mithila--the land of frequent flood.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
9. Sharda Vijay by Upendranath Jha - A short epic written by renewed poet and author Upendranath Jha ‘Vyas’ which is considered one among the classics of Maithili literature.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
10. Simantini Akhyayika by Ramdeo Jha - (Tale of Simantini) is a story based on one of the anecdotes of Brahma Puran.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
11. Vidyapati Gosthi by Shailendra Mohan Jha - Translation of an important research work on Maithili poet Mahakavi Vipyapati.
📩: PDF
🛒: couldn't find
12. The Melting Stone & Other Plays by Ramdeo Jha - The Melting stone is an anthology of seven one-act plays that helped shape the trajectory of Maithili drama. Covering a wide range of social issues, it provides a cultural and social barometer of the times.
📩: couldn't find
🛒: Exotic India Art
This is a growing list that I'll update as I receive recommendations. Thank you!
submitted by dicktraitorsip to Mithila [link] [comments]
✰✰✰History of Maithili Literature - Resources
Having previously shared resources on the history of Maithili literature (here), I am now going to compile a list of actual Maithili literary classics, both classical and modern. If you have any recommendations, please suggest them. 📌 Early Maithili Literature (circa 700–1350 AD):
This era witnessed the emergence of ballads, songs, and dohas. Among the earliest authors was Jyotirishwar Thakur. His notable contribution to Maithili literature is the Varṇa Ratnākara (1324), an encyclopedic work presented in prose.
1. Varṇa Ratnākara (1324) by Jyotirishwar Thakur - The earliest prose work in the Maithili language, this literary piece offers valuable insights into the life and culture of medieval India. The text is structured into seven Kallolas (waves): Nagara Varṇana, Nāyikā Varṇana, Asthāna Varṇana, Ṛtu Varṇana, Prayāṇa Varṇana, Bhaṭṭādi Varṇana, and Śmaśāna Varṇana.
🛒: Exotic India Art
📌 Middle Maithili Literature (circa 1350–1830 AD):
This period was characterized by a flourishing of theatrical writings. Notable Maithili writers of this era included:
- Vidyapati (1350–1450)
- Srimanta Sankardeva (1449–1568)
- Govindadas (late 17th century)
- Manbodh (17th century)
1. Purush Pariksha by Vidyapati - Purushpariksha" is a narrative created by Vidyapati. He composed it under the guidance of Maharaja Shiv Singh. The text presents instructive tales in the tradition of Panchatantra. This work stands as a unique creation not only for sociologists, historians, human scientists, and political scientists but also for philosophers and literary enthusiasts.
🛒: Exotic India Art
2. Vidyapati Padavali by Vidyapati - A compilation of Vidyapati's poetry exists in various versions. One version is an English translation by Coomaraswamy, digitized by Project Gutenberg. Another version is provided by the Indira Gandhi National Centre for the Arts & Clarion Books. Additionally, there is a version by Narendranath Gupta. I will be providing links to all three versions.
📩: PDF (Vidyāpati: Bangīya padābali - Project Gutenberg)
📩: PDF (Vidyapati Ki Padawali - Narendranath Gupta)
🛒: Exotic India Art (Vidyapati: Padavali - Indira Gandhi National Centre for the Arts & Clarion Books)
3. Goraksh Vijaya by Vidyapati - This text is in Sanskrit, but the poetry is in Maithili. To my knowledge, there is no online copy available. I personally had a physical copy, which I have uploaded to the Internet Archive. Feel free to check it out there.
🛒: don't know if available or not
4. Vivada Chintamani by Vachaspati Mishra - A book that serves as a concise commentary on the Hindu law that is prevalent in Mithila. The book covers a wide range of topics related to the Hindu law, including marriage, inheritance, property rights, and religious practices.
🛒: Forgotten Books
I'm still on the lookout for more texts. If you come across any additional Maithili literature works from that period,do suggest in the comments. This list is a work in progress, and I'll be updating it bit by bit.
📌 Modern Maithili Literature (1830 AD to date):
George Abraham Grierson, an Irish linguist, and civil servant made a huge impact on the growth of Modern Maithili. His detailed research on Maithili folklore and grammar set the stage for its development today. Magazines and journals also played a big role in shaping Maithili during this time. Baldev Mishra, Surendra Jha 'Suman,' Radha Krishna Choudhary, Jaykant Mishra, Binod Bihari Verma, Dr. Dhirendra, Parichay Das, and Gajendra Thakur were key players in this linguistic journey.
1. Payasvini by Surendra Jha - A collection of 25 poems about beauty of nature, colourful imagery and simplicity of rural life.
🛒: couldn't find
2. The Kinsmen of Ugna (Ugnak Dayabad) by Surendra Jha - This novel is highly readable, especially for those seeking a different model than those centered on class struggle. It also appeals to those interested in the people and culture of Mithila.
🛒: Amazon
3. Bidagari by Chandranath Mishra - The novel deals with social problem in marriage like dowry, unmatched marriage and likes that dogged the society of Mithila.
🛒: couldn't find
4. Angarejee Phoolaka Chitthee Dr Ramdeo Jha - This novel is a series of exchange of letters between two newly married girls who takes sacred oath to maintain lifelong friendship.
🛒: couldn't find
5. Dattavati by Surendra Jha - This Mahakavya is based on a simple story from the Kathāsaritsāgara also Kathasaritsagara of 11the century.
🛒: couldn't find
6. Madhushravani by Dr Shailendra Mohan Jha - A beautifully crafted love story, this novel is set against the backdrop of Mithila's refined cultural heritage. The main characters, Nalini and Kamal, share a deep love for each other. However, their pure and pristine love fails to blossom into a marital relationship.
🛒: Amazon
7. Pratigya Pandav by Babuaji Jha - Pratigya Pandav in 11 cantos is based on the Sabha Parva of Mahabharata in which the poet has very vividly described the forebodings of war and advocated the need for peace, national integrity and morality.
🛒: couldn't find
8. Saon Bhadav by Surendra Jha - A nature poem depicts the rainy season of Mithila--the land of frequent flood.
🛒: couldn't find
9. Sharda Vijay by Upendranath Jha - A short epic written by renewed poet and author Upendranath Jha ‘Vyas’ which is considered one among the classics of Maithili literature.
🛒: couldn't find
10. Simantini Akhyayika by Ramdeo Jha - (Tale of Simantini) is a story based on one of the anecdotes of Brahma Puran.
🛒: couldn't find
11. Vidyapati Gosthi by Shailendra Mohan Jha - Translation of an important research work on Maithili poet Mahakavi Vipyapati.
🛒: couldn't find
12. The Melting Stone & Other Plays by Ramdeo Jha - The Melting stone is an anthology of seven one-act plays that helped shape the trajectory of Maithili drama. Covering a wide range of social issues, it provides a cultural and social barometer of the times.
📩: couldn't find
🛒: Exotic India Art
This is a growing list that I'll update as I receive recommendations. Thank you!
2024.05.15 03:40 old_guitarist [OPINION] Can anybody really describe their poetry writing process in detail?
I'm tired of my inability to write good poetry.
The way it usually goes is like this:
I see something that stirs some emotion. Like maybe on my walk I see a rose bush. Then a line comes to my mind describing the scene. I become obsessed with getting that line right and the feelings in my heart are so intense but when they come out on the page they sound so boring and cliche, like "The rose emits its heavenly scent / as I touch its delicate sun-soaked petals."
I feel mad at myself for using these boring adjectives. Show, show, show, don't tell! Yet how to show what the scent is like? Or the feeling of touching a petal? And who cares? Like why would anybody care how I feel about some flower on a particular day?
If I'm able to change the line to my satisfaction, then there is a different issue, which is where am I going with this? Often my poems turn into something sentimental or me trying to teach people some lesson, like life is fleeting, beauty is subjective, blah blah.
I look at famous contemporary poetry but that's no help either because I don't understand most of them. And the ones I do understand, I cannot see what makes them stand out from thousands of poems published online by people whose poems never get published in these journals.
So I want to hear how you approach this, in particular those of you who write poetry and are satisfied with your poems and maybe have even gotten one published in some prestigious publication.
submitted by old_guitarist to Poetry [link] [comments]
The way it usually goes is like this:
I see something that stirs some emotion. Like maybe on my walk I see a rose bush. Then a line comes to my mind describing the scene. I become obsessed with getting that line right and the feelings in my heart are so intense but when they come out on the page they sound so boring and cliche, like "The rose emits its heavenly scent / as I touch its delicate sun-soaked petals."
I feel mad at myself for using these boring adjectives. Show, show, show, don't tell! Yet how to show what the scent is like? Or the feeling of touching a petal? And who cares? Like why would anybody care how I feel about some flower on a particular day?
If I'm able to change the line to my satisfaction, then there is a different issue, which is where am I going with this? Often my poems turn into something sentimental or me trying to teach people some lesson, like life is fleeting, beauty is subjective, blah blah.
I look at famous contemporary poetry but that's no help either because I don't understand most of them. And the ones I do understand, I cannot see what makes them stand out from thousands of poems published online by people whose poems never get published in these journals.
So I want to hear how you approach this, in particular those of you who write poetry and are satisfied with your poems and maybe have even gotten one published in some prestigious publication.
2024.05.15 03:25 Enali (Spoilers Extended) The Rogue Houses of Dorne
Seven ravens go with Arianne Martell to be Doran's eyes and ears to Aegon and the Golden Company in the Stormlands. And while Arianne's journey progresses she will likely need to make a choice... will she send the word 'dragon' home in a letter, the coded word asking for Dorne to call their spears and join Aegon's cause? Or will the word be 'war'? (...in this case 'war' means 'wait')... I'll let you decide - I assume most people's minds are pretty set on this point, and mine own is not really standard canon, so I will only say the last raven seems an ill omened thing as the seventh of a set is often linked to The Stranger, Westeros' god of death.
The topic I hoped to brainstorm today is not actually about what Arianne decides... but rather what happens next. Because I notice with a lot of theories the assumption is that the Dornish houses waiting on Arianne's response will march in lockstep with whatever her and Doran's order is... but... will they? Some of the Dornish houses seem pretty independent-minded and I feel there's been some fairly significant foreshadowing emerging that Doran's hold over the the kingdom is only tentative at best. That's worth discussing... In particular three houses seem to repeatedly stand out as possibilities to challenge the peace regardless of the Martells' wishes: Houses Yronwood, Fowler, and Uller....
Sign #1 - The Fowlers closeness with Lady Nym
Oberyn's death was a rallying cry for a lot of Dorne desiring vengeance against the Lannisters, and in particular the news greatly effected the Sand Snakes - Nymeria Sand is said to be 'famously' close with the Fowler twins, she was actually with them the moment she learned of Oberyn's death, and it follows they likely sympathize with her position. In fact when Lady Nym first pitches Doran her plan to assassinate key Lannisters in King's Landing she does so by pleading the Fowler house words to him: "You know the Fowler words? Let Me Soar! That is all I ask of you. Let me soar, Uncle. I need no mighty host, only one sweet sister." And Doran would later tell Arianne that Nym is 'too close to the Fowler twins' (and thus unable to keep secrets from them). I imagine the Fowlers did not take the news well when they learned of Nymeria's imprisonment afterwards...
Sign #2 - Arianne's plea to Lord Fowler
Then when Arianne Martell is imprisoned herself after her Queenmaker plot she attempts to send out a secret message with one of her attendants to plead for help to free her from her father's grasp. She considers different options to address this letter to, someone ideally receptive to the idea of rebelling against Doran (which is no small thing to ask!) but also powerful enough to do so. Her first thoughts drift to Yronwood, but decides against them only because they fostered Quentyn and she believes he and Anders are conspiring against her, then goes through a few of the houses of her friends before finally deciding "that she had but two real hopes: Harmen Uller, Lord of Hellholt, and Franklyn Fowler, Lord of Skyreach and Warden of the Prince's Pass."
She ultimately decides to pen the letter to Lord Fowler because she thinks the Ullers as half-mad to the point of having a dangerous response. After that the attendant Cedra is presumably caught by Doran's men as she never reappears and Areo tells us that she was sent to the Water Gardens. But even without the letter actually going out the fact that she chose Lord Fowler to send this plea to probably says a lot about their overall relationship with Doran.
Sign #3 - A Toast to Tommen
In the Watcher chapter during the presentation of The Mountain's skull a toast to Tommen is made, and those who choose to drink or to refuse it give us another indication of the sentiments around Dorne... this is not subtly implied as much as it is directly pointed out by Areo:
The Yronwoods weren't in attendance for the toast, however the Wyls were and refused it - I get the sense they are pretty close with the Yronwoods, both of which have their houses on the Boneway where they've joined forces. Another party that refused the toast, the Manwoodys, are stationed in the Prince's Pass and likely close allies with the Fowlers - lending more weight to the idea that this area is rebellious. House Gargelene is the one that's most difficult to place, being located in a fairly isolated spot in the south of Dorne at Salt Shore.
Sign #4 - The Troops in the Passes
By Arianne's TWOW excerpts we also hear that the troops in the Prince's Pass and the Boneway are becoming restless:
So how might the Fowlers act out? Outside of Arianne's raven being sent (and depending on the result), I think we should be keeping an eye on the Darkstar plot. Darkstar, per his own words and actions, seems to want to start a war against the crown and has presumably fled back to his home of High Hermitage in the Red Mountains where its implied he has support. He will probably pass by Starfall on the way up the Torrentine's rushing waters, but the Prince's Pass and Skyreach are both not that far from his location and in fitting with the prior indications of the Fowlers' intentions and Darkstar's overall goals he may try to incite the already anxious troops there to raid the Dornish Marches. These houses have a long history of animosity towards the Reach and Marcher Lords whose defenses will be exposed with Euron's attacks. Such an assault could parallel prior rogue leaders the Vulture Kings.
There is a saying in Dorne we are told: 'half the Ullers are 'half-mad and the other half are worse.' And as Ellaria Sand is Lord Harmen's natural daughter when she and her little ones (Elia, Obella, Dorea, and Loreza) were locked away with the rest of the Sand Snakes Arianne thinks this would 'have made Lord Harmen wroth, and the Ullers were dangerous when wroth.' Its worth noting that in Arianne's Queenmaker plot her end goal was to get to Hellholt to officially crown Myrcella and raise her banners there...
What's interesting about Uller is that while they have a lot of reason to rebel there is at least one pacifying force headed their way - Ellaria Sand (who is also bringing Loreza with her). Ellaria sand accepted the toast to Tommen and despite having been Oberyn's paramour and closer to him than anyone as well as being there for his death, she is actually one of the strongest voices arguing for peace.
Given the Hellholts relative isolation you might be thinking how this could factor further into the plot.... maybe some news of Ellaria's daughters? Or later on if there is an invading force (as Ellaria and Doran fear is coming)? But I've actually been thinking that before Areo Hotah shows up in the Red Mountains we may get to see a chapter with him and Obara and Balon Swann at the Hellholt with Ellaria and Lord Harmen Uller, it would be rewarding to catch up with these characters and see their clashing perspectives on vengeance and Areo on the trail of Darkstar. Per some recent analysis of GRRM's chapter hints we can also kind of conclude there may be a few Areo chapters in varying locations. Another interesting thing pointing me in that direction is the soon to be released 2025 calendar which will be featuring artwork of the Hellholt... that's a strange inclusion for a castle with few mentions (the most relevant of which being Rhaenys' mysterious death long ago), and a lot of the other locations on the calendar do suspiciously have relevant plots nearing them in Winds (so if we haven't seen them already we may do so soon).
The logistics work out pretty well as Hellholt is practically a necessary stop on the way westward to the Red Mountains by land. Even though Arianne herself knows the desert well....
Even though previously we've seen a few signs that the Yronwoods may rebel given their brief consideration for Arianne's letter for help, and the Wyls' refusal of Tommen's toast, the biggest reason for them to strike out on their own might be their uniquely fractious relationship with the Martells (they also have a long rivalry with the Fowlers). In fact, we were told Yronwood was only just recently on the verge of rebellion after Oberyn allegedly poisoned Lord Edgar Yronwood in a duel after he was found abed with Edgar's paramour, and it was only Doran's quick thinking that avoided it.
And the biggest thing that may reopen that wound is, not surprisingly, news of Quentyn's voyage. Anders Yronwood has lost two sons on what could be seen as a pretty foolish attempt to court Daenerys including his son and heir Cletus Yronwood, who was sent along on the voyage and died from a corsair attack off the coast of the Disputed Lands. The other son? Quentyn Martell himself.... despite him being a Martell, he is really more Yronwood at heart. He grew up in Yronwood with Anders, his best friend was Cletus, he became smitten with his eldest daughter Ynys (who is now heir to Yronwood), and then later fell in love with Gwyneth, the youngest daughter of Anders.... All of Quentyn's memories are with the Yronwood really and Arianne even notes he is somewhat a stranger to her and Sunspear. Doran himself is forced to admit that "Anders Yronwood has been more a father to him than I have".
Anders hasn't heard anything yet from Meereen, information moves slowly in Essos (which has no messenger ravens so it needs to be carried by hand) and most of the people who can pass on that message, like Arch and Drink, are still caught up in the Battle of Fire (and hoping that the Tattered Prince will be merciful to them for their previous desertion). Any news that might get back could end up with a distorted and unflattering picture of Daenerys too (and some of that fallout may carryover to Aegon who seeks to ally with her).
But even before it does the troops commanded by the Yronwoods in the Boneway are conveniently close to the events happening in the Stormlands with the Golden Company. And the Yronwoods have been suspiciously consistent partners of the Golden Company and Blackfyres in the past (which often drew in second houses with a lot to gain), which is all the more interesting given the rumors around Aegon ("Lords of Yronwood rode for the black dragon in no less than three of the five Blackfyre Rebellions.") So if Arianne seeks to side with Aegon and JonCon the Yronwoods might be the first to throw in with that cause... especially if its also a way to oppose Mace Tyrell given his hatred of all things Dorne. However, it might also be interesting if she takes after her father's advice to be cautious and tries to hold back her forces, leading to the Yronwoods ignorning her and Doran's commands and striking out on their own anyways. And it will be interesting how these events may combine with the x-factor of news of Quentyn and Cletus arriving at some point (whatever the timing of that might be in relation to the Battle of Steel).
So what do you think of Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood... will we see them act out in Winds or play loyal bannermen to Doran?
~Thank you for Reading!~
TLDR This post explores the ample foreshadowing that Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood may be unreliable allies of Doran when pressed, and their reaction may not follow what we'd expect when Arianne sends out her last raven either calling Dorne's spears to side with the Golden Company or holding off and keeping to the passes (taking after her father's more prudent advice). Could the Fowlers join with Darkstar and raid the Dornish Marches? Will we have a chapter at the Hellholt before Areo's party travels the deep sands where we see Lord Harmen Uller's rebellious nature collide with Ellaria Sand's attempts at peace? And will the Yronwood troops in the Boneway join their historic allies in the Golden Company, or have a divisive reaction to news of Quentyn and Cletus' deaths?
submitted by Enali to asoiaf [link] [comments]
The topic I hoped to brainstorm today is not actually about what Arianne decides... but rather what happens next. Because I notice with a lot of theories the assumption is that the Dornish houses waiting on Arianne's response will march in lockstep with whatever her and Doran's order is... but... will they? Some of the Dornish houses seem pretty independent-minded and I feel there's been some fairly significant foreshadowing emerging that Doran's hold over the the kingdom is only tentative at best. That's worth discussing... In particular three houses seem to repeatedly stand out as possibilities to challenge the peace regardless of the Martells' wishes: Houses Yronwood, Fowler, and Uller....
House Fowler 🪶
The Fowlers make their home at Skyreach, a castle with a lofty perch and soaring stone towers carved into the stone slopes of the Red Mountains overlooking the Prince's Pass, one of two major overland routes into Dorne, and the easier to traverse of the two (the other being the steep and treacherous Boneway). The House is led by Lord Franklyn Fowler 'the Old Hawk', who has two twin daughters - Jeyne and Jennelyn. What could cause House Fowler to rebel against the Martells?Sign #1 - The Fowlers closeness with Lady Nym
Oberyn's death was a rallying cry for a lot of Dorne desiring vengeance against the Lannisters, and in particular the news greatly effected the Sand Snakes - Nymeria Sand is said to be 'famously' close with the Fowler twins, she was actually with them the moment she learned of Oberyn's death, and it follows they likely sympathize with her position. In fact when Lady Nym first pitches Doran her plan to assassinate key Lannisters in King's Landing she does so by pleading the Fowler house words to him: "You know the Fowler words? Let Me Soar! That is all I ask of you. Let me soar, Uncle. I need no mighty host, only one sweet sister." And Doran would later tell Arianne that Nym is 'too close to the Fowler twins' (and thus unable to keep secrets from them). I imagine the Fowlers did not take the news well when they learned of Nymeria's imprisonment afterwards...
Sign #2 - Arianne's plea to Lord Fowler
Then when Arianne Martell is imprisoned herself after her Queenmaker plot she attempts to send out a secret message with one of her attendants to plead for help to free her from her father's grasp. She considers different options to address this letter to, someone ideally receptive to the idea of rebelling against Doran (which is no small thing to ask!) but also powerful enough to do so. Her first thoughts drift to Yronwood, but decides against them only because they fostered Quentyn and she believes he and Anders are conspiring against her, then goes through a few of the houses of her friends before finally deciding "that she had but two real hopes: Harmen Uller, Lord of Hellholt, and Franklyn Fowler, Lord of Skyreach and Warden of the Prince's Pass."
She ultimately decides to pen the letter to Lord Fowler because she thinks the Ullers as half-mad to the point of having a dangerous response. After that the attendant Cedra is presumably caught by Doran's men as she never reappears and Areo tells us that she was sent to the Water Gardens. But even without the letter actually going out the fact that she chose Lord Fowler to send this plea to probably says a lot about their overall relationship with Doran.
Sign #3 - A Toast to Tommen
In the Watcher chapter during the presentation of The Mountain's skull a toast to Tommen is made, and those who choose to drink or to refuse it give us another indication of the sentiments around Dorne... this is not subtly implied as much as it is directly pointed out by Areo:
The white knight did drink, as was only courteous. His companions likewise. So did the Princess Arianne, Lady Jordayne, the Lord of Godsgrace, the Knight of Lemonwood, the Lady of Ghost Hill … even Ellaria Sand, Prince Oberyn's beloved paramour, who had been with him in King's Landing when he died. Hotah paid more note to those who did not drink: Ser Daemon Sand, Lord Tremond Gargalen, the Fowler twins, Dagos Manwoody, the Ullers of the Hellholt, the Wyls of the Boneway. If there is trouble, it could start with one of them. Dorne was an angry and divided land, and Prince Doran's hold on it was not as firm as it might be. Many of his own lords thought him weak and would have welcomed open war with the Lannisters and the boy king on the Iron Throne.Again the Fowler twins and Ullers show us that they still hold a lot of resentment. Daemon Sand makes sense too - he was part of Oberyn's retinue in King's Landing (sometimes rumored to have had a relationship with him) and watched him die, and after the Sand Snakes were imprisoned he went to Sunspear to demand their release and was imprisoned himself for the trouble. I'd keep an eye on him in Arianne's plot.
The Yronwoods weren't in attendance for the toast, however the Wyls were and refused it - I get the sense they are pretty close with the Yronwoods, both of which have their houses on the Boneway where they've joined forces. Another party that refused the toast, the Manwoodys, are stationed in the Prince's Pass and likely close allies with the Fowlers - lending more weight to the idea that this area is rebellious. House Gargelene is the one that's most difficult to place, being located in a fairly isolated spot in the south of Dorne at Salt Shore.
Sign #4 - The Troops in the Passes
By Arianne's TWOW excerpts we also hear that the troops in the Prince's Pass and the Boneway are becoming restless:
In the Boneway and the Prince’s Pass, two Dornish hosts had massed, and there they sat, sharpening their spears, polishing their armor, dicing, drinking, quarreling, their numbers dwindling by the day, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Prince of Dorne to loose them on the enemies of House Martell.Darkstar's Plot
So how might the Fowlers act out? Outside of Arianne's raven being sent (and depending on the result), I think we should be keeping an eye on the Darkstar plot. Darkstar, per his own words and actions, seems to want to start a war against the crown and has presumably fled back to his home of High Hermitage in the Red Mountains where its implied he has support. He will probably pass by Starfall on the way up the Torrentine's rushing waters, but the Prince's Pass and Skyreach are both not that far from his location and in fitting with the prior indications of the Fowlers' intentions and Darkstar's overall goals he may try to incite the already anxious troops there to raid the Dornish Marches. These houses have a long history of animosity towards the Reach and Marcher Lords whose defenses will be exposed with Euron's attacks. Such an assault could parallel prior rogue leaders the Vulture Kings.
House Uller 🏜️
We've already seen that the Ullers play out somewhat similarly to the Fowlers - they were one of the major considerations for Arianne to send her plea for help to, and they were one of the parties notably refusing Tommen's toast. Lord Harmen Uller is the current Lord of the Hellholt, "a grim, stinking seat beside the sulfurous yellow waters of the Brimstone" located near the deep sands in the centesouth of Dorne.There is a saying in Dorne we are told: 'half the Ullers are 'half-mad and the other half are worse.' And as Ellaria Sand is Lord Harmen's natural daughter when she and her little ones (Elia, Obella, Dorea, and Loreza) were locked away with the rest of the Sand Snakes Arianne thinks this would 'have made Lord Harmen wroth, and the Ullers were dangerous when wroth.' Its worth noting that in Arianne's Queenmaker plot her end goal was to get to Hellholt to officially crown Myrcella and raise her banners there...
What's interesting about Uller is that while they have a lot of reason to rebel there is at least one pacifying force headed their way - Ellaria Sand (who is also bringing Loreza with her). Ellaria sand accepted the toast to Tommen and despite having been Oberyn's paramour and closer to him than anyone as well as being there for his death, she is actually one of the strongest voices arguing for peace.
"A start?" said Ellaria Sand, incredulous. "Gods forbid. I would it were a finish. Tywin Lannister is dead. So are Robert Baratheon, Amory Lorch, and now Gregor Clegane, all those who had a hand in murdering Elia and her children. Even Joffrey, who was not yet born when Elia died. I saw the boy perish with mine own eyes, clawing at his throat as he tried to draw a breath. Who else is there to kill? Do Myrcella and Tommen need to die so the shades of Rhaenys and Aegon can be at rest? Where does it end?"A Hidden Hellholt Chapter?
Given the Hellholts relative isolation you might be thinking how this could factor further into the plot.... maybe some news of Ellaria's daughters? Or later on if there is an invading force (as Ellaria and Doran fear is coming)? But I've actually been thinking that before Areo Hotah shows up in the Red Mountains we may get to see a chapter with him and Obara and Balon Swann at the Hellholt with Ellaria and Lord Harmen Uller, it would be rewarding to catch up with these characters and see their clashing perspectives on vengeance and Areo on the trail of Darkstar. Per some recent analysis of GRRM's chapter hints we can also kind of conclude there may be a few Areo chapters in varying locations. Another interesting thing pointing me in that direction is the soon to be released 2025 calendar which will be featuring artwork of the Hellholt... that's a strange inclusion for a castle with few mentions (the most relevant of which being Rhaenys' mysterious death long ago), and a lot of the other locations on the calendar do suspiciously have relevant plots nearing them in Winds (so if we haven't seen them already we may do so soon).
The logistics work out pretty well as Hellholt is practically a necessary stop on the way westward to the Red Mountains by land. Even though Arianne herself knows the desert well....
Beyond Vaith the deep sands waited. They would need help from Sandstone and the Hellholt to make that crossing, but she did not doubt that it would be forthcoming....Even she fears to tread the deep sands alone... and for Obara it may be the same despite her experience. You really should have a desert guide to locate water sources and navigate the terrain ("In the deep sands a man must hoard his water."). And one of the last safe stops for water and guides is the Hellholt making it invaluable for travelers crossing the sands. The sandstorms seem especially dangerous:
[...]beyond Vaith, western Dorne is naught but a vast sea of restless dunes where the sun beats down relentlessly, giving rise from time to time to savage sandstorms that can strip the flesh from a man's bones within minutes.
House Yronwood ⛓️
The Yronwoods are Dorne's second strongest house and their seat is located up in the high meadows of the Red Mountains near the Boneway where the air is always crisp and cool after dark, no matter how hot the day had been. Anders Yronwood, the Bloodroyal, is the leader here.Even though previously we've seen a few signs that the Yronwoods may rebel given their brief consideration for Arianne's letter for help, and the Wyls' refusal of Tommen's toast, the biggest reason for them to strike out on their own might be their uniquely fractious relationship with the Martells (they also have a long rivalry with the Fowlers). In fact, we were told Yronwood was only just recently on the verge of rebellion after Oberyn allegedly poisoned Lord Edgar Yronwood in a duel after he was found abed with Edgar's paramour, and it was only Doran's quick thinking that avoided it.
Blood feud and rebellion would surely have followed Lord Edgar's death, had not her father acted at once. The Red Viper went to Oldtown, thence across to the narrow sea to Lys, though none dared call it exile. And in due time, Quentyn was given to Lord Anders to foster as a sign of trust. That helped to heal the breach between Sunspear and the Yronwoods, but it had opened new ones between Quentyn and the Sand Snakes...Quentyn Aftermath & The Blackfyres
And the biggest thing that may reopen that wound is, not surprisingly, news of Quentyn's voyage. Anders Yronwood has lost two sons on what could be seen as a pretty foolish attempt to court Daenerys including his son and heir Cletus Yronwood, who was sent along on the voyage and died from a corsair attack off the coast of the Disputed Lands. The other son? Quentyn Martell himself.... despite him being a Martell, he is really more Yronwood at heart. He grew up in Yronwood with Anders, his best friend was Cletus, he became smitten with his eldest daughter Ynys (who is now heir to Yronwood), and then later fell in love with Gwyneth, the youngest daughter of Anders.... All of Quentyn's memories are with the Yronwood really and Arianne even notes he is somewhat a stranger to her and Sunspear. Doran himself is forced to admit that "Anders Yronwood has been more a father to him than I have".
Anders hasn't heard anything yet from Meereen, information moves slowly in Essos (which has no messenger ravens so it needs to be carried by hand) and most of the people who can pass on that message, like Arch and Drink, are still caught up in the Battle of Fire (and hoping that the Tattered Prince will be merciful to them for their previous desertion). Any news that might get back could end up with a distorted and unflattering picture of Daenerys too (and some of that fallout may carryover to Aegon who seeks to ally with her).
But even before it does the troops commanded by the Yronwoods in the Boneway are conveniently close to the events happening in the Stormlands with the Golden Company. And the Yronwoods have been suspiciously consistent partners of the Golden Company and Blackfyres in the past (which often drew in second houses with a lot to gain), which is all the more interesting given the rumors around Aegon ("Lords of Yronwood rode for the black dragon in no less than three of the five Blackfyre Rebellions.") So if Arianne seeks to side with Aegon and JonCon the Yronwoods might be the first to throw in with that cause... especially if its also a way to oppose Mace Tyrell given his hatred of all things Dorne. However, it might also be interesting if she takes after her father's advice to be cautious and tries to hold back her forces, leading to the Yronwoods ignorning her and Doran's commands and striking out on their own anyways. And it will be interesting how these events may combine with the x-factor of news of Quentyn and Cletus arriving at some point (whatever the timing of that might be in relation to the Battle of Steel).
So what do you think of Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood... will we see them act out in Winds or play loyal bannermen to Doran?
~Thank you for Reading!~
TLDR This post explores the ample foreshadowing that Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood may be unreliable allies of Doran when pressed, and their reaction may not follow what we'd expect when Arianne sends out her last raven either calling Dorne's spears to side with the Golden Company or holding off and keeping to the passes (taking after her father's more prudent advice). Could the Fowlers join with Darkstar and raid the Dornish Marches? Will we have a chapter at the Hellholt before Areo's party travels the deep sands where we see Lord Harmen Uller's rebellious nature collide with Ellaria Sand's attempts at peace? And will the Yronwood troops in the Boneway join their historic allies in the Golden Company, or have a divisive reaction to news of Quentyn and Cletus' deaths?
2024.05.15 03:12 ByMyDecree Reviewing and Ranking Every Battle: James Bond vs. Austin Powers
Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/WcUX9AP
Good gravy, these visuals. This is the most visual flair they've ever had in a battle up until this point. More on the particulars later. Unfortunately the music is comparatively pretty weak and unmemorable, with the notable exception of the track that plays during Austin Powers' bits.
So, Daniel Craig Bond's first verse. "[insert Bond villains here] were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are." that's a decent burn, but man, I always feel bad for Austin Powers when Bond says this. Powers looks genuinely hurt, quit bullying Powers, Craig Bond! "I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot; Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!" Intellectually I acknowledge that there is some somewhat clever wordplay going on here, but I can't say I particularly care for these lines. The "I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!" is an alright diss I guess. The lines comparing their filmography and tying in You Only Live Twice into the diss... I dunno, something feels so rote and lifeless about this burn. It's competent, but it's not doing much for me. The best part of this verse is easily the "B on D/beyond me" diss, fun wordsmithing there. The closer is competent, reference to Golden Gun, sure, that's fine, but I ain't writing home about it. I'll go into more detail about this towards the end, but I'm not a fan of this verse, I think Craig Bond as a rapper is a fairly bland character and that the background visuals are having to compensate hard for his lifelessness.
Austin Powers opens his verse by acknowledging that he has been catfished by Craig Bond, which I think is a ton of fun. The visual of Austin Powers splitting into rainbow versions of himself as his track with the horns starts blaring is just fantastic. "Basil Exposition told me this would be boring; but Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!" This isn't a particularly clever line or a powerful diss, mostly seems like an excuse to drop a couple references, but I'm in full agreement with Austin Powers here. Craig Bond's performance was boring. Austin Powers proceeds to mock Craig Bond for his hairless body, contrasting it with his own glorious chest bush. I love how much confidence Austin has in his sexiness despite not being the least bit conventionally attractive. I also love this set with Austin, his buddy, and these women all rocking out. The computer-generated visuals of Craig Bond's backgrounds are impressive, sure, but actually having this wacky set made for the battle really elevates it to a new level in terms of presentation. And all these close-ups of Austin's eyes, mouth, and ass getting slapped... much more flair than their usual fare. Austin Powers threatens to hypnotize Craig Bond with a strip tease and I just... look, I'm not saying these are great lines, on paper Austin does not have the strongest disses, but this verse is just so FUN. The dancing and choreography with Austin's visuals are top-notch, love him slapping his ass on the spinning bed. "You're defenseless, my rhymes can't be deflected, you're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!" is genuinely hilarious. "People want a hero with a little personality; no one wants to sit through your gritty reality" is definitely encapsulating the vibe I feel on the question of James Bond vs. Austin Powers. Powers then goes in for a nice blow with the line about them making Thunderball twice. "I'm one of a kind, you're always getting remade" goes hard, even harder nowadays than it did back when this was made. "You can't touch me, double oh behave" is a cute reference, but it's not anything more than that, same tier of verse closer as Craig Bond's.
Then we have the misfortune of returning to Craig Bond's gritty reality. "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown, I should... be on an island with a fucking model by now" is really weak. It feels ad-libbed. You're not too cool for this rap battle Craig Bond, you're actually not nearly cool enough. Craig throws in a reference to the penis pumping joke from Austin Powers, we get a little failed interjection from Powers, and that's fun. Craig Bond does get a strong blow in with "but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics"; a powerful argument that you can't take away from Craig Bond.
Until Sean Bond comes in and takes that away from Craig Bond with a cheeky "I wouldn't exactly call you original". Good stuff. The BDSM joke is whatever. "Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken" is an amusing reference to his famous quote, maybe a little obvious and corny, but what really helps sell it is the way it segueways into "if I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken". Fun! "I don't need a Q to break your balls" is some good wordplay. I remember watching this with my family years ago, and my father groaned at Bond's closing Gold Bond joke and said "That's terrible." and... yeah, I kind of have to agree. It's a good jab and the wordplay isn't without its wit, but there's something so goddamned cheesy about it. Can't help but roll my eyes when he smugly looks at the camera and says 'Gold Bond'. It's the phrasing and line delivery, I think. This joke might have landed better if they refrained from trying to tie it into that famous quote.
Austin Powers makes a valiant effort to get back in the battle, but gets bitch slapped for his troubles.
There's something so... for lack of a better term... beta about the way Craig Bond comes in and touches Sean Bond's arm to get his attention. "The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists" is accurate, albeit not the most clever.
Austin Powers shows Craig Bond up by carrying that line of argumentation further with an amusing bit about Sean Bond being a rapist. I love how uncomfortable Austin Powers seems.
"If they made a mini-me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage"... that's so lame, guys. Come on.
"Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English" winds up seeming like way stronger of a burn than it is for the fact that Sean Bond takes so much offense to it he feels the need to slap Craig Bond hard for it. Austin's awed reaction in the background is quite funny.
"Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?" Har har har.
I like the way Craig Bond takes Sean Bond's wordplay and uses it to mount a counteroffensive, he delivers a couple real solid lines here.
Sean Bond's closer is pretty unremarkable. I guess I could charitably consider it to be of the same caliber as the closers for Craig Bond's and Powers' first verse closers, a cute little reference but nothing more. Austin Powers continues to be the best part of the battle as he rises up into the frame, enamored with his opponents.
Alright, so... I think Craig Bond gives one of the dullest and most unmemorable performances in ERB history. For one thing, his face is just not very expressive here; it's like he constantly has one facial expression. Even when his face is contorting a bit to try and express anger he still looks the same. I don't know to what extent that's just the actor's physical appearance, or if it's a deliberate choice as part of the Craig Bond persona, or what, but watching him perform feels like watching a flat line. It doesn't help that he just looks like some guy. Austin Powers and Sean Bond have very distinct and flashy appearances, but with Craig Bond it looks like they just brought in some random guy off the street and gave him a suit. Maybe that's accurate to Daniel Craig's Bond, but it's a problem for this rap battle regardless. This guy is so nondescript he's regularly getting upstaged by his backgrounds. Another issue I have with this battle is that it clearly does not respect the existence of Austin Powers as a rapper. I could be misremembering, but I believe I've heard that the creators said they didn't like the idea of a parody rapping against the character they're based on, and that this one ultimately got made because they could turn it into a Bond v. Bond battle. Personally I think the idea of having a parody go up against the original is vastly more interesting of a matchup and that Bond v. Bond is the thing that isn't really worth doing. I'd rather this have just been a battle between Austin Powers on one side with two verses and one or both of the Bonds on the other. I also want to say that this is one of the best and most un-NicePeter performances Peter has ever given; I had to go on the wiki and double-check to make sure Peter actually played him. I think Peter has an issue with a lot of his characters sounding same-y, but this sounds nothing like him. It doesn't look like him either; it's not just that the costuming is great, the dancing and mannerisms are real different from Peter's usual stuff. Just look at that pose he strikes on the right at 1:13. So good. One of Peter's best characters.
Anyhoo... I'd put this battle in B Tier, below Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters but above Robocop vs. Terminator. The Craig and Sean Bonds have their moments, but their parts greatly pale in comparison to Austin Powers... but even then, Austin Powers' verse isn't that great, it's more supremely entertaining than expertly written. It shapes out to being a solid battle that still leaves a lot to be desired.
I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying Austin Powers>Sean Bond>Craig Bond. Austin Powers is the entire reason I revisit this battle.
submitted by ByMyDecree to ERB [link] [comments]
Good gravy, these visuals. This is the most visual flair they've ever had in a battle up until this point. More on the particulars later. Unfortunately the music is comparatively pretty weak and unmemorable, with the notable exception of the track that plays during Austin Powers' bits.
So, Daniel Craig Bond's first verse. "[insert Bond villains here] were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are." that's a decent burn, but man, I always feel bad for Austin Powers when Bond says this. Powers looks genuinely hurt, quit bullying Powers, Craig Bond! "I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot; Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!" Intellectually I acknowledge that there is some somewhat clever wordplay going on here, but I can't say I particularly care for these lines. The "I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!" is an alright diss I guess. The lines comparing their filmography and tying in You Only Live Twice into the diss... I dunno, something feels so rote and lifeless about this burn. It's competent, but it's not doing much for me. The best part of this verse is easily the "B on D/beyond me" diss, fun wordsmithing there. The closer is competent, reference to Golden Gun, sure, that's fine, but I ain't writing home about it. I'll go into more detail about this towards the end, but I'm not a fan of this verse, I think Craig Bond as a rapper is a fairly bland character and that the background visuals are having to compensate hard for his lifelessness.
Austin Powers opens his verse by acknowledging that he has been catfished by Craig Bond, which I think is a ton of fun. The visual of Austin Powers splitting into rainbow versions of himself as his track with the horns starts blaring is just fantastic. "Basil Exposition told me this would be boring; but Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!" This isn't a particularly clever line or a powerful diss, mostly seems like an excuse to drop a couple references, but I'm in full agreement with Austin Powers here. Craig Bond's performance was boring. Austin Powers proceeds to mock Craig Bond for his hairless body, contrasting it with his own glorious chest bush. I love how much confidence Austin has in his sexiness despite not being the least bit conventionally attractive. I also love this set with Austin, his buddy, and these women all rocking out. The computer-generated visuals of Craig Bond's backgrounds are impressive, sure, but actually having this wacky set made for the battle really elevates it to a new level in terms of presentation. And all these close-ups of Austin's eyes, mouth, and ass getting slapped... much more flair than their usual fare. Austin Powers threatens to hypnotize Craig Bond with a strip tease and I just... look, I'm not saying these are great lines, on paper Austin does not have the strongest disses, but this verse is just so FUN. The dancing and choreography with Austin's visuals are top-notch, love him slapping his ass on the spinning bed. "You're defenseless, my rhymes can't be deflected, you're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!" is genuinely hilarious. "People want a hero with a little personality; no one wants to sit through your gritty reality" is definitely encapsulating the vibe I feel on the question of James Bond vs. Austin Powers. Powers then goes in for a nice blow with the line about them making Thunderball twice. "I'm one of a kind, you're always getting remade" goes hard, even harder nowadays than it did back when this was made. "You can't touch me, double oh behave" is a cute reference, but it's not anything more than that, same tier of verse closer as Craig Bond's.
Then we have the misfortune of returning to Craig Bond's gritty reality. "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown, I should... be on an island with a fucking model by now" is really weak. It feels ad-libbed. You're not too cool for this rap battle Craig Bond, you're actually not nearly cool enough. Craig throws in a reference to the penis pumping joke from Austin Powers, we get a little failed interjection from Powers, and that's fun. Craig Bond does get a strong blow in with "but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics"; a powerful argument that you can't take away from Craig Bond.
Until Sean Bond comes in and takes that away from Craig Bond with a cheeky "I wouldn't exactly call you original". Good stuff. The BDSM joke is whatever. "Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken" is an amusing reference to his famous quote, maybe a little obvious and corny, but what really helps sell it is the way it segueways into "if I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken". Fun! "I don't need a Q to break your balls" is some good wordplay. I remember watching this with my family years ago, and my father groaned at Bond's closing Gold Bond joke and said "That's terrible." and... yeah, I kind of have to agree. It's a good jab and the wordplay isn't without its wit, but there's something so goddamned cheesy about it. Can't help but roll my eyes when he smugly looks at the camera and says 'Gold Bond'. It's the phrasing and line delivery, I think. This joke might have landed better if they refrained from trying to tie it into that famous quote.
Austin Powers makes a valiant effort to get back in the battle, but gets bitch slapped for his troubles.
There's something so... for lack of a better term... beta about the way Craig Bond comes in and touches Sean Bond's arm to get his attention. "The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists" is accurate, albeit not the most clever.
Austin Powers shows Craig Bond up by carrying that line of argumentation further with an amusing bit about Sean Bond being a rapist. I love how uncomfortable Austin Powers seems.
"If they made a mini-me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage"... that's so lame, guys. Come on.
"Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English" winds up seeming like way stronger of a burn than it is for the fact that Sean Bond takes so much offense to it he feels the need to slap Craig Bond hard for it. Austin's awed reaction in the background is quite funny.
"Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?" Har har har.
I like the way Craig Bond takes Sean Bond's wordplay and uses it to mount a counteroffensive, he delivers a couple real solid lines here.
Sean Bond's closer is pretty unremarkable. I guess I could charitably consider it to be of the same caliber as the closers for Craig Bond's and Powers' first verse closers, a cute little reference but nothing more. Austin Powers continues to be the best part of the battle as he rises up into the frame, enamored with his opponents.
Alright, so... I think Craig Bond gives one of the dullest and most unmemorable performances in ERB history. For one thing, his face is just not very expressive here; it's like he constantly has one facial expression. Even when his face is contorting a bit to try and express anger he still looks the same. I don't know to what extent that's just the actor's physical appearance, or if it's a deliberate choice as part of the Craig Bond persona, or what, but watching him perform feels like watching a flat line. It doesn't help that he just looks like some guy. Austin Powers and Sean Bond have very distinct and flashy appearances, but with Craig Bond it looks like they just brought in some random guy off the street and gave him a suit. Maybe that's accurate to Daniel Craig's Bond, but it's a problem for this rap battle regardless. This guy is so nondescript he's regularly getting upstaged by his backgrounds. Another issue I have with this battle is that it clearly does not respect the existence of Austin Powers as a rapper. I could be misremembering, but I believe I've heard that the creators said they didn't like the idea of a parody rapping against the character they're based on, and that this one ultimately got made because they could turn it into a Bond v. Bond battle. Personally I think the idea of having a parody go up against the original is vastly more interesting of a matchup and that Bond v. Bond is the thing that isn't really worth doing. I'd rather this have just been a battle between Austin Powers on one side with two verses and one or both of the Bonds on the other. I also want to say that this is one of the best and most un-NicePeter performances Peter has ever given; I had to go on the wiki and double-check to make sure Peter actually played him. I think Peter has an issue with a lot of his characters sounding same-y, but this sounds nothing like him. It doesn't look like him either; it's not just that the costuming is great, the dancing and mannerisms are real different from Peter's usual stuff. Just look at that pose he strikes on the right at 1:13. So good. One of Peter's best characters.
Anyhoo... I'd put this battle in B Tier, below Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters but above Robocop vs. Terminator. The Craig and Sean Bonds have their moments, but their parts greatly pale in comparison to Austin Powers... but even then, Austin Powers' verse isn't that great, it's more supremely entertaining than expertly written. It shapes out to being a solid battle that still leaves a lot to be desired.
I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying Austin Powers>Sean Bond>Craig Bond. Austin Powers is the entire reason I revisit this battle.
2024.05.15 03:02 CoriCampbell My Summary & Layout Of How Season 2 Of Winning Time Should Have Ended. And What I Would Have Wanted Out Of Season 3.
 | THE QUESTION: submitted by CoriCampbell to u/CoriCampbell [link] [comments] “If Winning Time was still on what would you want to see happen next?” MY ANSWER: Season 1 of Winning Time consisted of 10 episodes. Season 2 consisted of 7 episodes. When I was watching on the night of the Season 2 Episode 7, I was shocked and utterly appalled at the fact they ended the show. On the worst cliffhanger you could possibly leave on. I was hoping for a little while that the whole situation was being done in order to use time as a marketing tool. In order to build just as much frustration in the fans of the show, as the characters in the show were experiencing. And I was hoping that they would announce a month later that there was actually 3 more episodes to be released. And I was hoping that those episodes would focus on the following 1985 season in which they won against Boston. Which in turn would be a perfect way to wrap up Season 2. As for future seasons of the show, here’s what I would have wanted… Winning Time since day one has been an incredible show that has been able to balance basketball and story superbly well. I think it could’ve been wrapped up given a third season. In season 3 I would’ve like to have had 10 episodes covering events from 1985-1992. Here is a brief summary I wrote out, of how I would have each episode played out. EP 1: The Rise I think that episode 1 should focus primarily on Larry Bird’s perspective after the Lakers win in 85 and how he was hungry and went after another championship in 86. While in the meantime we focus secondarily on Magic’s relationship with Cookie. While also, starting to notice Kareem’s age. And I think it would be to the benefit of not having loose ends, revisiting briefly for one episode Spencer Haywood. And show that he is doing much better and during the events of Season 2 was getting his act together. This episode should also let us in on what’s happening with Buss’ lawsuit with honey. (The plots for EP 2 and 3 are clumped together) EP 2: Lucked Out + EP 3: Guaranteed Greatness I think episodes 2-3 should be focused primarily on Pat Riley’s stride for greatness and expectation for perfection leading to back to back titles in 87 & 88. While showing the beginning of Pat Riley’s ego, and also addressing and finishing Dr. Buss’ divorce settlement filed against him by honey. This episode should also have Bird and Magic shoot the famous commercial that lead to them understanding one another and respecting one another. And have episode 3 end with Kareem starting to really feel the stress on his body. EP 4: Watcha Gonna Do Have the episode sorta montage through the 89 season with games against the pistons. It would be cool to show Kobe Bryant as a mop boy (which he was), and showing the bad boy Pistons being rough, tough, and winning the 1989 Finals against the Lakers. Leading to Kareem announcing his retirement. EP 5: Riled Up I think episode 5 should start with Kareem’s retirement, showing his evolution from silent to loving towards the fans of the Lakers. While focusing the episode primarily on Pat Riley’s ego starting to continue to grow just like Paul’s did in season 2. This episode should also show a disconnect between the team and Pat. And I think it would be wise for Jerry West to be the first to notice it and point it out. And to talk to Pat to try to settle him down in order to try to keep him from developing his ego and to stay humble. Magic tries to support Riley but also to tries to support the team. EP 6: Slick Back This episode should focus on how the disconnect is fully there between the team and Pat. Leading to the team losing the semifinals in 1990 and the team going to Jerry Buss and expressing that they love Riley, but they can’t take it anymore. Buss is sick to his stomach that he is in this situation again, so he calls in West and Riley to try and salvage this. However, Pat is oblivious to his part in the drama while being definitive in the team’s issues. Both West and Buss see this and know that Pat is to into his ego, isn’t focused, and can no longer coach correctly. Leading to his resignation at the end of the episode, and leaving Magic now in a state of aloneness and confusion. EP 7: Sirius This episode should reflect Magic’s aloneness and introduce a new coach to the show (Mike Dunleavy). Who marks another “Slowtime” era. Where Dunleavy just like Westhead before, gets rid of showtime in turn for his own system. And while it does work, it makes the game no longer fun and incredibly slow. Mirror that with the arrival of the Chicago Bulls a hungry ruthless team, lead by Michael Jordan. And end the episode with the Bulls winning the 1991 Season, and Magic feeling sick after the loss… literally. EP 8: Immunodeficiency The main focus of this episode is the revealing, the announcing, and the dealing with Magic’s Diagnosis of HIV. Remember the first shot of season 1 episode 1? I think the show should cut back to that scene but instead show us different shots of the doctors revealing the news to Magic. And then have him deal with it by including Cookie, West, calling riley, confiding in Kareem, telling his team, and revealing to Jerry Buss. All these scenes should be incredibly emotional and as real as it can be, in order for the audience to grasp the severity of the situation. The episode should end with Magic retiring as a player and having his number being retired, with thoughts swirling in Magic’s head of death and disparity. The overall episode and the future of Magic look bleak and hopeless. Until Magic speaks out at his jersey retirement ceremony and says the famous quote about playing in the Olympics, coming back one day to play, and to survive the HIV Virus. EP 9: Concrete This episode should start out with Larry Bird calling Earvin, to tell him he is sorry about the HIV diagnosis. Magic should let him know he appreciates it but he doesn’t plan on staying retired for long and that he will play with Bird again. And until he comes back, Larry needs to keep going for the both of them and keep on winning. Until Larry reveals that he doesn’t think he has that long left to play because of his back issues (a quick flashback cutaway to Larry pouring a cement driveway for his mom showing why Larry is having back issues). We then get a solum moment where the both of them recognize that they are two sides of the same coin and that they will always be there for each other. And that after all the battles and the rivalries, they are true friends. And I think that this phone conversation should cut back and forth between the rest of the episode which shows Magic getting rehabilitation and fighting the Disease. Eventually overcoming it, and ending the episode with Magic inviting Larry to Join him when he plays in the Olympics. Leaving the episode on an emotional cliffhanger. EP 10: The Dynasty We focus this episode on Jerry Buss’ struggle after Magic left and the emotional and financial mess he is in. It’s the 1991-1992 season and showtime has now become the Lake show with Nick Van Exell. However, this episode should barely focus on basketball and instead focus on the relationships between Jerry Buss and the people in his life. He talks with Magic and convinces him to coach. He has a meeting with Pat and they hash out the beef. The episode overall should be about Buss tying up all the loose ends left in his life, and trying to figure out how the Lakers can do better. Jeanie and Claire Comfort him and let him know that it is all gonna be alright because in the end they are a Dynasty, and they got a legacy that is just getting started. Buss towards the end of the episode sits in his office. While West picks up his mail in his office and walks into Buss. Folded magazine in hand, he is there to talk to Buss about something. Buss asks West if he’ll think it’ll ever get better. And West encourages Buss by telling him that it will. We cut to Magic walking towards Buss’ office, Jerry comes out with his mail and folded magazine making small talk to Magic. Until West realizes what Magic is about to do… he is about to resign as coach. West knows this because he’s done it before. After talking a bit more Magic shakes West’s hand and heads into Buss’ office. While buss sits down opens the magazine and it is a Sports Illustrated issue featuring Shaq at LSU, hinting at the future. Magic then enters Buss’ office and reveals he doesn’t want to be the coach anymore. And Jerry understands, now having enough time to accept that showtime may be over. But WinningTime for the Lakers will never truly end. And before Magic leaves to clean out his coaching office Jerry says “You know you always got a home here Earvin, your family!” Earvin responds with a nod and we close in on Buss. We cut to Magic cleaning out his office. He walks out with boxes of his stuff. Until he notices on his old locker booth his Jersey is hanging up. We then cut to Jerry on the court drinking a bottle of alcohol staring up at the banners and the retired numbers, he then lays back in the middle of the court he closes his eyes with a smile of joy in a silent arena. Until we hear someone walking on the court. It’s Magic with the jersey on a coat hanger and his boxes in hand. Jerry sits up while Magic offers him to a game of pick up, and we close out on them playing basketball. And finish on a wide shot where Jerry scores on Magic. The two of them hug, while picking up the bottle of alcohol and screaming in victory. Cut To Black… So yeah that is my synopsis for what a season 3 of Winning Time would look like. I know there is way more characters in the show that have plot threads. But this summary was just a bare bones attempt at laying out a way to end the show in a perfect way. And I think that in order to end the shows major characters in a satisfying way there are a lot of points that would need to be touched upon that are featured in this summary. I ahead of time apologize for the lack of Jerry Buss’ character arc and plot threads, I just off the top of my head can’t think of, or know of any other drama/plot threads his character could go through after the Honey situation. I hope you guys liked my summary and hope it contributes to the fan base of Winning Time.
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2024.05.15 02:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 02:30 michaelmac4057 Mental Health Advise
Think i might be mentally unwell
Listen i hope this post doesn’t offend anyone , I’m gonna just keep it honest and it will probably maybe make me look stupid or come across horribly
This is probably something i should discuss with a therapist but hey i live rural and all i can say is that therapists up my way don’t have great reputations
Ever since i was young i used to love movies , TV shows and especially reality TV. I became quickly obsessed with the whole idea of celebrity wanting to be one from a small age. I remember seeing Big Brother 7 UK when i was only 6 and becoming obsessed with it and wanting to go on it my whole life. When i finally turned 18 and it got cancelled i was furious. I know that I’m deluded one part of my mind keeps me grounded knowing i would be one in a million getting on a show like that but this other part is oddly convinced that i was born for this , my purpose is to be famous on this earth to the brink that it hurts. Nearly all i think about is about being famous and i would metaphorically kill for it.
Even in general I’m obsessed with celebrities i know so many random facts about thousands of celebrities. The moment i watch something I’m usually googling stuff about the cast. Most my convos with friends lead back to reality tv shows i watch like housewives etc. i know i probably drive them crazy with it.
I sound so ego centric and i guess i am with it all in a huge way i do see myself as the main character and even the villain at times but although i have this ego side I’m also very self conscious and critical of myself. I hate the way i look i hate that I’m not good enough. Sometimes i just feel I’m moving on a different wave length on this world to other people. I see them as characters in my life at times. I often feel way more bonded to my pets the only thing that keeps me to reality i love animals with all my heart even more than fame etc
I get upset sometimes in my job which is quite a good job for my age that it just isn’t me being famous. I get sad and depressed that i don’t have fans following me , i would want nothing more than the paparazzi chasing me and caring about me. People coming up and being star struck. It’s just a dream i know is wrong and cant shift. I don’t know why I’m like this my mum is the opposite of this and my dad who i had a strained relationship with hates celebrities etc. it was my gran who passed that got me into to films and i used to like “performing” for her putting on shows as a kid there some of my good memories. She was one of the only family members who fully appreciated me
Sorry this has been so long
submitted by michaelmac4057 to MentalHealthUK [link] [comments]
Listen i hope this post doesn’t offend anyone , I’m gonna just keep it honest and it will probably maybe make me look stupid or come across horribly
This is probably something i should discuss with a therapist but hey i live rural and all i can say is that therapists up my way don’t have great reputations
Ever since i was young i used to love movies , TV shows and especially reality TV. I became quickly obsessed with the whole idea of celebrity wanting to be one from a small age. I remember seeing Big Brother 7 UK when i was only 6 and becoming obsessed with it and wanting to go on it my whole life. When i finally turned 18 and it got cancelled i was furious. I know that I’m deluded one part of my mind keeps me grounded knowing i would be one in a million getting on a show like that but this other part is oddly convinced that i was born for this , my purpose is to be famous on this earth to the brink that it hurts. Nearly all i think about is about being famous and i would metaphorically kill for it.
Even in general I’m obsessed with celebrities i know so many random facts about thousands of celebrities. The moment i watch something I’m usually googling stuff about the cast. Most my convos with friends lead back to reality tv shows i watch like housewives etc. i know i probably drive them crazy with it.
I sound so ego centric and i guess i am with it all in a huge way i do see myself as the main character and even the villain at times but although i have this ego side I’m also very self conscious and critical of myself. I hate the way i look i hate that I’m not good enough. Sometimes i just feel I’m moving on a different wave length on this world to other people. I see them as characters in my life at times. I often feel way more bonded to my pets the only thing that keeps me to reality i love animals with all my heart even more than fame etc
I get upset sometimes in my job which is quite a good job for my age that it just isn’t me being famous. I get sad and depressed that i don’t have fans following me , i would want nothing more than the paparazzi chasing me and caring about me. People coming up and being star struck. It’s just a dream i know is wrong and cant shift. I don’t know why I’m like this my mum is the opposite of this and my dad who i had a strained relationship with hates celebrities etc. it was my gran who passed that got me into to films and i used to like “performing” for her putting on shows as a kid there some of my good memories. She was one of the only family members who fully appreciated me
Sorry this has been so long
2024.05.15 01:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 01:16 Haunting-Band-2763 Hazbin Hotel - Episode 1, Season 1: Overture - (Genderswap)
(An animation shows black and white clouds parting)
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)
submitted by Haunting-Band-2763 to hazbin [link] [comments]
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)
2024.05.15 01:15 TacoTacoTaco729 What is the most ridiculous moment you've read in a romance book lately?
Ok so I was reading a book about an ex-military MMC and a FMC who is a famous singer but he doesn't realize that. They're falling in love. Amazing. Then she sees the guitar in his house and he can see she longs to play it. He's like do it gurl. And she picks up the guitar and I'm expecting some romance ballad. You don't even have to be specific with it, just show she's an amazing singer and he falls more in love with her.
Anyway, all this to say she serenaded him with The Army Goes Rolling Along. And he joins in and sings with her. The United States Army song.
I had to look over my shoulder to make sure no one could see what I was reading because I was so embarrassed.
Shifters and omegaverse and 23 year old billionaire lumberjacks I can read all day so I'm not afraid of cringe.
submitted by TacoTacoTaco729 to RomanceBooks [link] [comments]
Anyway, all this to say she serenaded him with The Army Goes Rolling Along. And he joins in and sings with her. The United States Army song.
I had to look over my shoulder to make sure no one could see what I was reading because I was so embarrassed.
Shifters and omegaverse and 23 year old billionaire lumberjacks I can read all day so I'm not afraid of cringe.
2024.05.15 01:10 knah321 Unrequited
 | My first ever poem. To the woman I love and hurt about a year ago. Trying to repair a love lost moving halfway around the world. submitted by knah321 to Poem [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 00:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 00:43 zpfgot The Union Organizational Committee and An Open Letter Regarding Unionization to TDC/TPR
Union Organizing Update
Over the past few weeks, several of us from this subreddit have joined together to form an organizing committee for unionization. We have organizers from across the United States, including organizers from Washington, Virginia, New Jersey, Florida and more. They are among some of the most frequent posters and helpers that you’re familiar with already, like ( u/mamabroccoli and u/Inevitable_Laugh4569 ). We have already been in contact with a couple unions for guidance, including a union with an office within a couple miles of the TDC main office in New York City. While our numbers are sufficient and I think we’re making great progress thus far, if you are still interested in having an active role, we’d love to have you. The more people helping, the better! If you would prefer a more passive role by simply giving your support, that’s always appreciated too!
We have been discussing our plans for near future of our potential tutor union. Most of the work from here will be contacting people and spreading the word about unionizing the tutor base. We will be providing more information over the next couple/few weeks. Later in the week, there will be a post about the benefits of unionization. Next week, we will post about the demands we’re going to state at the beginning of any negotiations. We have ideas for further informational posts. This is truly a group effort. I think you will like what we’re offering and will be glad to vote to unionize in the future.
The following letter is an open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review. You may notice that it is written a bit differently than the writings I usually produce. The reason for the tonal shift is because of writing help. I wrote the initial draft, which was edited by our committee to have a nicer flow, be less antagonistic, and add further pro-union arguments. We are committed to work together, and this is just the start of what we can do when we work together!
Also, if you haven’t yet signed the video petition, please do so. https://www.change.org/p/oppose-tutor-com-mandating-video-sessions-for-tutors?recruiter=300829309&recruited_by_id=b62a6030-fe40-11e4-95d0-ef524b399632&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=petition_dashboard_share_modal&utm_medium=copylink
Open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review regarding attempts to unionize
Since we're starting the process of putting together a union proposal, we're publicly requesting tutor.com and/or The Princeton Review to voluntarily recognize that we're attempting to organize, and provide the resources necessary to hold a vote. From discussions amongst the committee, we know the main office is aware of this subreddit, and we'd imagine that someone is paying particular attention to our recent discussions about unionizing.
We understand if there's resistance from TDC to seeing their workers unionize, as that's a normal reaction in the business world. However, we urge you to instead be proactive and helpful as we attempt to organize.
We believe a tutor union can work in tutor.com's favor, to a great extent, for a variety of reasons:
* It would be a very good look publicly if you were to openly support the effort to unionize. We're in the education industry, a famously unionized industry, filled with people who will be more sympathetic to companies with unionized workforces. Being the one tutoring company that can truthfully say "We supported our tutors' right to unionize from day 1" could be a major selling point when seeking contracts in this industry.
* From what we've seen from your social media posts, tutor.com does seem to project a degree of progressivism. As an example, you've made posts taking pride in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at tutor.com, and you always try to highlight tutors who receive awards and recognition. You could significantly further this image by taking a union-friendly stance here. You've had executives post about how the tutors are loved - here's your chance to prove it.
* A tutor union would work to infinitely better the company itself. Tutors would feel better compensated and better heard, and as a result feel better and more enthusiastic about the company and their work overall. The better conditions would set tutor.com up as the de facto best online tutoring company to work for, and attract more and better talent to the company. It would be reasonable to set stricter quality standards and, in time, tutor.com would gain a reputation for being *the* premium tutoring service - the tutoring service that has tutors who rise above and beyond those at other services. Retention rates would skyrocket, institutional knowledge would accumulate - we'd become a company of true professionals.
* Were tutor.com to support the unionization process, it would start the relationship between the union and company off with mutual respect, a willingness to cooperate and compromise, and general friendliness and good will. This would ultimately serve us all better than a relationship borne out of malice, a refusal to acknowledge our existence, or open antagonism.
* tutor.com has faced some recent backlash from some right-wing government people regarding where we've ended up through corporate acquisitions, to the point where some are beginning to attack the military contract. One contract has already been lost for this reason. Being seen as a pro-worker company that broke industry norms and went out of their way to support their worker's right to organize, even if the effort ultimately fails, could easily work to gain the company some new allies on the left, shielding it from pointless attacks about its ownership.
We want to be clear that we're not asking for you to come out and endorse a "Yes" vote on unionization - though of course we'd be delighted if you did. What we're asking is for you to provide the resources necessary to hold an informed vote. Let us send out an email to all current US-based tutors with information regarding our efforts, and help us hold a vote to unionize at some point in the future. Offer your support or your neutrality, but please don't openly oppose or ignore our efforts. You've mentioned that "9 out of 10 tutors rate themselves Satisfied or Very Satisfied with Tutor.com" before - let's put that to the test. It may be that we hold a vote, and fail - and then, so long as you maintained neutrality and enabled us to make our case to the other tutors, we'll at least have our mutual good will, and you'll still be the pro-worker company that enabled, rather than hindered, an unsuccessful attempt to organize.
So, tutor.com / The Princeton Review, the ball is in your court now. Our attempt to organize will continue with or without your help, but we believe the best path forward is clearly the one where we work together on this. Doing nothing at all here is the easy choice, but it's also the cowardly choice. Support us, and we'll work together to better this company for its tutors and its students.
-The TDC/TPR Union Organizational Committee
submitted by zpfgot to tutordotcom [link] [comments]
Over the past few weeks, several of us from this subreddit have joined together to form an organizing committee for unionization. We have organizers from across the United States, including organizers from Washington, Virginia, New Jersey, Florida and more. They are among some of the most frequent posters and helpers that you’re familiar with already, like ( u/mamabroccoli and u/Inevitable_Laugh4569 ). We have already been in contact with a couple unions for guidance, including a union with an office within a couple miles of the TDC main office in New York City. While our numbers are sufficient and I think we’re making great progress thus far, if you are still interested in having an active role, we’d love to have you. The more people helping, the better! If you would prefer a more passive role by simply giving your support, that’s always appreciated too!
We have been discussing our plans for near future of our potential tutor union. Most of the work from here will be contacting people and spreading the word about unionizing the tutor base. We will be providing more information over the next couple/few weeks. Later in the week, there will be a post about the benefits of unionization. Next week, we will post about the demands we’re going to state at the beginning of any negotiations. We have ideas for further informational posts. This is truly a group effort. I think you will like what we’re offering and will be glad to vote to unionize in the future.
The following letter is an open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review. You may notice that it is written a bit differently than the writings I usually produce. The reason for the tonal shift is because of writing help. I wrote the initial draft, which was edited by our committee to have a nicer flow, be less antagonistic, and add further pro-union arguments. We are committed to work together, and this is just the start of what we can do when we work together!
Also, if you haven’t yet signed the video petition, please do so. https://www.change.org/p/oppose-tutor-com-mandating-video-sessions-for-tutors?recruiter=300829309&recruited_by_id=b62a6030-fe40-11e4-95d0-ef524b399632&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=petition_dashboard_share_modal&utm_medium=copylink
Open letter to tutor.com / The Princeton Review regarding attempts to unionize
Since we're starting the process of putting together a union proposal, we're publicly requesting tutor.com and/or The Princeton Review to voluntarily recognize that we're attempting to organize, and provide the resources necessary to hold a vote. From discussions amongst the committee, we know the main office is aware of this subreddit, and we'd imagine that someone is paying particular attention to our recent discussions about unionizing.
We understand if there's resistance from TDC to seeing their workers unionize, as that's a normal reaction in the business world. However, we urge you to instead be proactive and helpful as we attempt to organize.
We believe a tutor union can work in tutor.com's favor, to a great extent, for a variety of reasons:
* It would be a very good look publicly if you were to openly support the effort to unionize. We're in the education industry, a famously unionized industry, filled with people who will be more sympathetic to companies with unionized workforces. Being the one tutoring company that can truthfully say "We supported our tutors' right to unionize from day 1" could be a major selling point when seeking contracts in this industry.
* From what we've seen from your social media posts, tutor.com does seem to project a degree of progressivism. As an example, you've made posts taking pride in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at tutor.com, and you always try to highlight tutors who receive awards and recognition. You could significantly further this image by taking a union-friendly stance here. You've had executives post about how the tutors are loved - here's your chance to prove it.
* A tutor union would work to infinitely better the company itself. Tutors would feel better compensated and better heard, and as a result feel better and more enthusiastic about the company and their work overall. The better conditions would set tutor.com up as the de facto best online tutoring company to work for, and attract more and better talent to the company. It would be reasonable to set stricter quality standards and, in time, tutor.com would gain a reputation for being *the* premium tutoring service - the tutoring service that has tutors who rise above and beyond those at other services. Retention rates would skyrocket, institutional knowledge would accumulate - we'd become a company of true professionals.
* Were tutor.com to support the unionization process, it would start the relationship between the union and company off with mutual respect, a willingness to cooperate and compromise, and general friendliness and good will. This would ultimately serve us all better than a relationship borne out of malice, a refusal to acknowledge our existence, or open antagonism.
* tutor.com has faced some recent backlash from some right-wing government people regarding where we've ended up through corporate acquisitions, to the point where some are beginning to attack the military contract. One contract has already been lost for this reason. Being seen as a pro-worker company that broke industry norms and went out of their way to support their worker's right to organize, even if the effort ultimately fails, could easily work to gain the company some new allies on the left, shielding it from pointless attacks about its ownership.
We want to be clear that we're not asking for you to come out and endorse a "Yes" vote on unionization - though of course we'd be delighted if you did. What we're asking is for you to provide the resources necessary to hold an informed vote. Let us send out an email to all current US-based tutors with information regarding our efforts, and help us hold a vote to unionize at some point in the future. Offer your support or your neutrality, but please don't openly oppose or ignore our efforts. You've mentioned that "9 out of 10 tutors rate themselves Satisfied or Very Satisfied with Tutor.com" before - let's put that to the test. It may be that we hold a vote, and fail - and then, so long as you maintained neutrality and enabled us to make our case to the other tutors, we'll at least have our mutual good will, and you'll still be the pro-worker company that enabled, rather than hindered, an unsuccessful attempt to organize.
So, tutor.com / The Princeton Review, the ball is in your court now. Our attempt to organize will continue with or without your help, but we believe the best path forward is clearly the one where we work together on this. Doing nothing at all here is the easy choice, but it's also the cowardly choice. Support us, and we'll work together to better this company for its tutors and its students.
-The TDC/TPR Union Organizational Committee
2024.05.15 00:32 michaelmac4057 Think i might be mentally unwell
Listen i hope this post doesn’t offend anyone , I’m gonna just keep it honest and it will probably maybe make me look stupid or come across horribly
This is probably something i should discuss with a therapist but hey i live rural and all i can say is that therapists up my way don’t have great reputations
Ever since i was young i used to love movies , TV shows and especially reality TV. I became quickly obsessed with the whole idea of celebrity wanting to be one from a small age. I remember seeing Big Brother 7 UK when i was only 6 and becoming obsessed with it and wanting to go on it my whole life. When i finally turned 18 and it got cancelled i was furious. I know that I’m deluded one part of my mind keeps me grounded knowing i would be one in a million getting on a show like that but this other part is oddly convinced that i was born for this , my purpose is to be famous on this earth to the brink that it hurts. Nearly all i think about is about being famous and i would metaphorically kill for it.
Even in general I’m obsessed with celebrities i know so many random facts about thousands of celebrities. The moment i watch something I’m usually googling stuff about the cast. Most my convos with friends lead back to reality tv shows i watch like housewives etc. i know i probably drive them crazy with it.
I sound so ego centric and i guess i am with it all in a huge way i do see myself as the main character and even the villain at times but although i have this ego side I’m also very self conscious and critical of myself. I hate the way i look i hate that I’m not good enough. Sometimes i just feel I’m moving on a different wave length on this world to other people. I see them as characters in my life at times. I often feel way more bonded to my pets the only thing that keeps me to reality i love animals with all my heart even more than fame etc
I get upset sometimes in my job which is quite a good job for my age that it just isn’t me being famous. I get sad and depressed that i don’t have fans following me , i would want nothing more than the paparazzi chasing me and caring about me. People coming up and being star struck. It’s just a dream i know is wrong and cant shift. I don’t know why I’m like this my mum is the opposite of this and my dad who i had a strained relationship with hates celebrities etc. it was my gran who passed that got me into to films and i used to like “performing” for her putting on shows as a kid there some of my good memories. She was one of the only family members who fully appreciated me
Sorry this has been so long
submitted by michaelmac4057 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
This is probably something i should discuss with a therapist but hey i live rural and all i can say is that therapists up my way don’t have great reputations
Ever since i was young i used to love movies , TV shows and especially reality TV. I became quickly obsessed with the whole idea of celebrity wanting to be one from a small age. I remember seeing Big Brother 7 UK when i was only 6 and becoming obsessed with it and wanting to go on it my whole life. When i finally turned 18 and it got cancelled i was furious. I know that I’m deluded one part of my mind keeps me grounded knowing i would be one in a million getting on a show like that but this other part is oddly convinced that i was born for this , my purpose is to be famous on this earth to the brink that it hurts. Nearly all i think about is about being famous and i would metaphorically kill for it.
Even in general I’m obsessed with celebrities i know so many random facts about thousands of celebrities. The moment i watch something I’m usually googling stuff about the cast. Most my convos with friends lead back to reality tv shows i watch like housewives etc. i know i probably drive them crazy with it.
I sound so ego centric and i guess i am with it all in a huge way i do see myself as the main character and even the villain at times but although i have this ego side I’m also very self conscious and critical of myself. I hate the way i look i hate that I’m not good enough. Sometimes i just feel I’m moving on a different wave length on this world to other people. I see them as characters in my life at times. I often feel way more bonded to my pets the only thing that keeps me to reality i love animals with all my heart even more than fame etc
I get upset sometimes in my job which is quite a good job for my age that it just isn’t me being famous. I get sad and depressed that i don’t have fans following me , i would want nothing more than the paparazzi chasing me and caring about me. People coming up and being star struck. It’s just a dream i know is wrong and cant shift. I don’t know why I’m like this my mum is the opposite of this and my dad who i had a strained relationship with hates celebrities etc. it was my gran who passed that got me into to films and i used to like “performing” for her putting on shows as a kid there some of my good memories. She was one of the only family members who fully appreciated me
Sorry this has been so long
2024.05.15 00:12 mellowparasites Entered my poem in a local poetry contest, I feel like the winning poem isn’t as good as mine. Am i being insane?
Whatever just what the title says, I feel like the winning poem is so elementary. All my writer friends agree with me, am I ridiculous for being butthurt about this? Looking for genuine honest feedback, tyia
(The winning poem)
how can you regret something you miss? i walked through the red door the air felt nice there in the early fall it wasn't cold enough for the heaters yet so they left the red door open and we all enjoyed the breeze in that moment it felt like bliss but i knew that would soon dissipate every time i walked through that door, disaster struck hurricanes, tornadoes, wars, mass murder but i was addicted to the rush of it all sitting in that booth, shaking waiting for something to strike not knowing when to expect it, or even what it might be how can you regret something you miss? if i had never walked hrough that red door none of this mess would have happened we wouldnt be standing here today with aches in our bones and scars on our souls is it my fault- no, not just me we all played a part in this cataclysm we all set foot through that glorous red door not to sound as though i blame it, the door didnt hurt us, we did we all poked and prodded bit and bruised how can you regret something you miss? i wish i could go back to the time of adams and eves, witches and thives, planting bliss, every unexpected kiss, i long for it, but how can you regret something you miss? we didn't know what we were doing the memories through the whirlpool screaming "we were just kids" how could we have known better? some of us, maybe there are things we don't speak of anymore the things we dont just regret, but banish from our minds to protect ourselves from everlasting suffering but if none of this had ever taken place we likely wouldn't have avoided catastrophe altogether, just these particular ones maybe were better for it, hope they can all be better especially the most demonic of them i hope we all made it mean something
(My poem)
The Love Goes In and Out
the soul doesn’t falter so tell me which of us is the liar? which of us is the seer? which of us is the chosen one? is it you, or me?
there are too many complicated conversations we shouldn’t be having and yet we are still here still with locked eyes still engineered towards the setting sun you can’t eat the bread and drink the wine at the same time you can’t consume everything you love and try to make something of the bones afterward; that is not your job
it never will be and yet your table is full of pigeons trying to bridge the gap you can’t consecrate the things you love and expect the same results you can’t expect anything this is war, this is the opposition of reason
therefore one day the sun will burn out and everything you love will die no one tells you this and yet it still grazes your skin every day all the same
so tell me whose paintbrush was it again, whose strokes are you looking at? god’s paintbrush, whose sun was it again your sun, my sun, little sun, big sun this world is so hot it keeps getting hotter every day and yet everything keeps being reborn and we are still here, all the same is it you, or me?
submitted by mellowparasites to Poem [link] [comments]
(The winning poem)
how can you regret something you miss? i walked through the red door the air felt nice there in the early fall it wasn't cold enough for the heaters yet so they left the red door open and we all enjoyed the breeze in that moment it felt like bliss but i knew that would soon dissipate every time i walked through that door, disaster struck hurricanes, tornadoes, wars, mass murder but i was addicted to the rush of it all sitting in that booth, shaking waiting for something to strike not knowing when to expect it, or even what it might be how can you regret something you miss? if i had never walked hrough that red door none of this mess would have happened we wouldnt be standing here today with aches in our bones and scars on our souls is it my fault- no, not just me we all played a part in this cataclysm we all set foot through that glorous red door not to sound as though i blame it, the door didnt hurt us, we did we all poked and prodded bit and bruised how can you regret something you miss? i wish i could go back to the time of adams and eves, witches and thives, planting bliss, every unexpected kiss, i long for it, but how can you regret something you miss? we didn't know what we were doing the memories through the whirlpool screaming "we were just kids" how could we have known better? some of us, maybe there are things we don't speak of anymore the things we dont just regret, but banish from our minds to protect ourselves from everlasting suffering but if none of this had ever taken place we likely wouldn't have avoided catastrophe altogether, just these particular ones maybe were better for it, hope they can all be better especially the most demonic of them i hope we all made it mean something
(My poem)
The Love Goes In and Out
the soul doesn’t falter so tell me which of us is the liar? which of us is the seer? which of us is the chosen one? is it you, or me?
there are too many complicated conversations we shouldn’t be having and yet we are still here still with locked eyes still engineered towards the setting sun you can’t eat the bread and drink the wine at the same time you can’t consume everything you love and try to make something of the bones afterward; that is not your job
it never will be and yet your table is full of pigeons trying to bridge the gap you can’t consecrate the things you love and expect the same results you can’t expect anything this is war, this is the opposition of reason
therefore one day the sun will burn out and everything you love will die no one tells you this and yet it still grazes your skin every day all the same
so tell me whose paintbrush was it again, whose strokes are you looking at? god’s paintbrush, whose sun was it again your sun, my sun, little sun, big sun this world is so hot it keeps getting hotter every day and yet everything keeps being reborn and we are still here, all the same is it you, or me?
2024.05.15 00:11 mellowparasites I feel like i’m going insane, entered into a local poetry contest, i feel like my poem is better than the winning one :(
Whatever just what the title says, I feel like the winning poem is so elementary. All my writer friends agree with me, am I ridiculous for being butthurt about this? Looking for genuine honest feedback, tyia
(The winning poem)
how can you regret something you miss? i walked through the red door the air felt nice there in the early fall it wasn't cold enough for the heaters yet so they left the red door open and we all enjoyed the breeze in that moment it felt like bliss but i knew that would soon dissipate every time i walked through that door, disaster struck hurricanes, tornadoes, wars, mass murder but i was addicted to the rush of it all sitting in that booth, shaking waiting for something to strike not knowing when to expect it, or even what it might be how can you regret something you miss? if i had never walked hrough that red door none of this mess would have happened we wouldnt be standing here today with aches in our bones and scars on our souls is it my fault- no, not just me we all played a part in this cataclysm we all set foot through that glorous red door not to sound as though i blame it, the door didnt hurt us, we did we all poked and prodded bit and bruised how can you regret something you miss? i wish i could go back to the time of adams and eves, witches and thives, planting bliss, every unexpected kiss, i long for it, but how can you regret something you miss? we didn't know what we were doing the memories through the whirlpool screaming "we were just kids" how could we have known better? some of us, maybe there are things we don't speak of anymore the things we dont just regret, but banish from our minds to protect ourselves from everlasting suffering but if none of this had ever taken place we likely wouldn't have avoided catastrophe altogether, just these particular ones maybe were better for it, hope they can all be better especially the most demonic of them i hope we all made it mean something
(My poem)
The Love Goes In and Out
the soul doesn’t falter so tell me which of us is the liar? which of us is the seer? which of us is the chosen one? is it you, or me?
there are too many complicated conversations we shouldn’t be having and yet we are still here still with locked eyes still engineered towards the setting sun you can’t eat the bread and drink the wine at the same time you can’t consume everything you love and try to make something of the bones afterward; that is not your job
it never will be and yet your table is full of pigeons trying to bridge the gap you can’t consecrate the things you love and expect the same results you can’t expect anything this is war, this is the opposition of reason
therefore one day the sun will burn out and everything you love will die no one tells you this and yet it still grazes your skin every day all the same
so tell me whose paintbrush was it again, whose strokes are you looking at? god’s paintbrush, whose sun was it again your sun, my sun, little sun, big sun this world is so hot it keeps getting hotter every day and yet everything keeps being reborn and we are still here, all the same is it you, or me?
submitted by mellowparasites to Poems [link] [comments]
(The winning poem)
how can you regret something you miss? i walked through the red door the air felt nice there in the early fall it wasn't cold enough for the heaters yet so they left the red door open and we all enjoyed the breeze in that moment it felt like bliss but i knew that would soon dissipate every time i walked through that door, disaster struck hurricanes, tornadoes, wars, mass murder but i was addicted to the rush of it all sitting in that booth, shaking waiting for something to strike not knowing when to expect it, or even what it might be how can you regret something you miss? if i had never walked hrough that red door none of this mess would have happened we wouldnt be standing here today with aches in our bones and scars on our souls is it my fault- no, not just me we all played a part in this cataclysm we all set foot through that glorous red door not to sound as though i blame it, the door didnt hurt us, we did we all poked and prodded bit and bruised how can you regret something you miss? i wish i could go back to the time of adams and eves, witches and thives, planting bliss, every unexpected kiss, i long for it, but how can you regret something you miss? we didn't know what we were doing the memories through the whirlpool screaming "we were just kids" how could we have known better? some of us, maybe there are things we don't speak of anymore the things we dont just regret, but banish from our minds to protect ourselves from everlasting suffering but if none of this had ever taken place we likely wouldn't have avoided catastrophe altogether, just these particular ones maybe were better for it, hope they can all be better especially the most demonic of them i hope we all made it mean something
(My poem)
The Love Goes In and Out
the soul doesn’t falter so tell me which of us is the liar? which of us is the seer? which of us is the chosen one? is it you, or me?
there are too many complicated conversations we shouldn’t be having and yet we are still here still with locked eyes still engineered towards the setting sun you can’t eat the bread and drink the wine at the same time you can’t consume everything you love and try to make something of the bones afterward; that is not your job
it never will be and yet your table is full of pigeons trying to bridge the gap you can’t consecrate the things you love and expect the same results you can’t expect anything this is war, this is the opposition of reason
therefore one day the sun will burn out and everything you love will die no one tells you this and yet it still grazes your skin every day all the same
so tell me whose paintbrush was it again, whose strokes are you looking at? god’s paintbrush, whose sun was it again your sun, my sun, little sun, big sun this world is so hot it keeps getting hotter every day and yet everything keeps being reborn and we are still here, all the same is it you, or me?