How long is topamax good past the expiration date

Disclaimer: This is not confirmed content, just an idea i had (please don't ban me again mods)
All of the Titanfall players are gonna love this one.
Name: (I actually need a name, can't make up my mind)
Homeworld: Harmony
Gender: Male
Height: 6ft 1in
Weight: 315lbs
Allegiance: Unknown
Background: Pilot
Class: Assault
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ Passive Ability:
Advance Movement

• 5 seconds of Wall-running
  
• a Double Jump takes 2 seconds off
  
• double jump cannot be used again until after they touch down or wall run again
  
• Double jump reduces active speed by 7%
  
• Recharges after a 2 second delay and recharges at a rate of 2 to 1 (2 seconds charge = 1 second wall run)
  
• any jumping or falling will start the recharge delay again
  
• Wall run and jump mechanics are almost identical to that of Titanfall 2 but with a 50% reduction on how fast you can build up speed
  
• reload and switch speed when wall-running is reduced by 20%
  

Notes: It will take 50% longer to build up a crazy amount of speed making it smart to build up speed in advance by any means (super glide, sliding down a hill, grenade boost, jump pad, jumping off a zip line, etc) The audio of Wall-runing is also very audible, as loud as a Vantage Tactical. The double jump by default has a 30 degree angle that you can change direction without loss of too much speed.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Tactical:
Phase Rewind

• When activated it will send you back in the exact movement you did from the last 2 seconds
  
• takes .5 second to activate and applies the same slowness that Wraith has when activating her phase
  
• 30 second cooldown
  
• the phase does not highlight enemies or even show them while phased (similar to the old phase shift)
  

Notes: The 2 second time makes it useful only for sudden pushes into a room/fight and not during the fight, making it a bit better than Wraiths phase, but significantly harder to use as the timing has to be really good and you have no way of controlling where you're going to go. Not being able to see enemies while phasing also helps balance it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Ultimate:
Radar Jammer

• Lasts 25s
  
• sends out a white pulse in a 100m radius
  
• enemies can no longer ping
  
• mini map has static covering it
  
• compass no longer works
  
• Ring Consoles no longer work
  
• Cannot Scan care packages
  
• Cooldown: 4 minutes
  

Notes: The 100m radius makes it good for pushing an enemy from a distance and right before a gun fight, the long cooldown and short duration makes it a bit more balanced. Recon Legends are not effected by the Ult and can Use Survey Beacons to counteract it for their teammates. Any scanning by legends (Bloodhound's Scan, Crypto's drone, Vantages Ult, and Seers scan) will not show up for allies when Ult is active until a Survey Beacon is scanned or the ult expires.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Level 2 Upgrades:
Jump Kit Mod 1: Recharge Delay reduced by 1 second, passive charge increased by 2 seconds, passive recharge rate increased to 1.25 seconds every 2 seconds.
Jump Kit Mod 2: Slide speed and distance increased by 20%, Double Jump movement penalty removed, double jump only consumes 1 second charge.
Level 3 Upgrades:
Data Knife: Gain access to Survey Beacons. Melee walls to wall hang. (3 seconds of wall hanging uses 1 second of passive charge), must jump off wall or run out of charge to cancel.
EOD Pilot: Frag Grenades will now start their timer upon holding fire when selected, grenade damage taken by held grenades is reduced to 30, the damage taken will regenerate over the course of 15 seconds. Enemies do not get damage reduction from held grenades, grenade will only deal damage until 1 hp is reached.
Notes: The EOD Pilot perk could also be used to turn yourself into a homing missile lol.
Feedback is encouraged, what can I change? What might seem too broken?
I will post another one with any changes after sufficient feedback is given.

My ex and I dated for about 2.5-3 years before we broke up about a month ago but were friends for years before this so there is a lot of experience and love between us. We tried opening up relationship for the past year and I just found it wasn’t for me. I feel some guilt around not being able to handle polyamory but I think thats because I also became slightly convinced during this time that all monogamy = toxic monogamy. I have a lot of cheating trauma from past relationships so, while logically I can kind of understand the benefits of poly, it emotionally just causes me distress.
I have been in therapy for a year and a half now and was trying really hard to do the work needed for me to feel safe and secure in polyamory. But at the end of the day, after a year of nervous system dysregulation, stress dreams, constant anxiety, and many fights caused by my insecurities, I had to admit that I couldnt handle it. My ex has a current blossoming relationship with at least one other woman right now and I am struggling really badly with him feeling okay enough to pursue her after all that we have lost.
We definitely werent perfect, but most of our issues could have been fixed with him also being in therapy and us slowly reconnecting after a break to focus on ourselves, but he seems certain now that monogamy isnt for him. He says its not because I wasnt enough for him but I find that hard to believe. I am sitting here grieving, missing him, in too much pain to even think about dates or sex but he feels he could handle it all right now. He says hes in pain too, and with the love we had he has to be, so part of me feels like hes only “ready to move on” so he can escape those hard feelings.
He showed me a kind of love I never thought possible for myself, we aligned on so much, had dreams of having a farm one day and seeing the world together. And now its all thrown away because he wants to be able to date multiple women at a time. He says I was the love of his life. And I want to believe that but its hard. Part of me wants to also just find someone else to distract myself with but I know thats not healthy and wouldnt make me feel good so I wont. I guess im just looking for support, anyone whos been in a similar situation, advice on letting go of a relationship where theres still love but youre just not aligned anymore. I wanted him to be it and I feel like Im getting too old to start over for some reason. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I have left out a lot of details regarding the timeline of things, how the transition to poly was handled, etc. for length purposes so if theres any questions please ask.
tldr: Boyfriend of 3 years and I had to split because he wants polyamory and I do not. Struggling with him already have potential new partners and feeling like I wasnt enough.

TLDR: how do I help my brother gain control of his anger before he hurts my parents and niece.
Wow, this is going to be a long post and I’m sorry if it jumps around. ADHD is a bitch when trying to relay information. My brother (36) lives with my parents and got custody of his daughter (6) last year. Her mom has several mental illnesses and my brother took her to court when she kept bringing a registered sex offender around his daughter and would lie about it. After a LONG process he won custody, she gets weekly supervised visits for 2 hours, and that’s about it. Around the same time my brother injured his back at his job working for a furniture store. He delivered furniture to customers.
A little bit about my brother: he’s forever been a hypochondriac, has horrible anxiety, and has now developed some elements of ocd personality disorder. Cannot function (and I’m using that word loosely) without getting high on a bong rip through the day.
About my parents (65): Our dad has been an alcoholic since before we were all born, undiagnosed ADHD, and most likely narcissistic personality disorder. Mom is….just mom. No addiction to drugs or alcohol, considers herself a “good, Christian woman” and I consider her an enabler and control freak, trying to control everybody’s addictions. She’s the main caregiver of my niece now, since my brother is often too high to drive and pick her up from school daily.
The situation: last year my brother took a macrodose of psilocybin and claims he was awakened to the reality of his situation. He feels like he’s been stunted in growing into an adult by parents who are absolute narcissists (I’m confused on how TWO narcissists could be married for 40+ years), he hasn’t worked since he hurt his back and has so much anger and sadness built up that he almost daily will lash out at everyone in the house. In front of his daughter he will tell my mom she’s stupid, she’s a sh*t mom, she’s a narcissist, and asks her how she let my dad’s drinking go on for so long. As if she controls it, which every single one of her past attempts to control it have failed miserably. He refuses to seek help. I’ve heard his rants before and they’re so full of malice and contempt and his arguments not based in any reality that I perceive.
Are my parents perfect? Absolutely not. But they have been really supportive and have always been there for me when I was in a tight pinch. He claims something entirely different. That they never gave him the skills to live on his own, they pit us siblings against each other (we have an older brother who only comes around on holidays), calls them idiots and worthless, etc. All of this severely affects his daughter, who dealt with this kind of crap when still living at her mom’s house. She adores her grandma and will always seek her out for comfort instead of her dad after their arguments have ended.
My question is: how do I help this situation? Do I need to get my brother involuntarily committed for 72 hours because I’m afraid he’s going to get violent with the people he lives with? I don’t fear he’ll hurt himself, but his rants have really escalated lately and I can feel his anger radiating off of him and his words. They feel like they can’t kick him out because he has nowhere to go, no job, and has custody of his 6 year old daughter. But they’re living in absolute hell. Could they keep her with them if he was asked to leave? I’m looking for some resources to enlist in helping him help himself and seek treatment mostly. But I am worried with the escalation of dysfunction too.

I've (F30) been single for about 1 year after a long break down of a long term relationship (roughly 7 years). I've spent time having lots of fun, going away with friends, making new ones, buying my own place and genuinely, living my best life.
I'm getting to the point that I've started to miss that aspect of enjoying parts of it with someone. I go on the dating apps, but I am finding it soul destroying. I'm very much an in person kind of girl, everyone I've been since a teen has been a personality thing (I.e. I can look at someone and consider them objectively attractive but until I know them I can't fancy them) - which you just do not get over the apps.
I like meeting new people, and I'd love to meet someone organically but a few hurdles...
1) where do you start? I already have hobbies and a good friend base from those hobbies.
2) how do you make it clear to people that you're single and open to getting to know people?
These sound like really quite basic questions but it seems the default now is to meet on apps... (meanwhile, I'm patiently waiting for someone to ask for my number in a book store or something like the movies 👀).
TLDR: Is there such a thing as meeting someone organically anymore?!

The date? A week before posting this.
The year? The current one as of writing.
The mood? Kendrick Lamar inspired.
Long has this book taunted me in bookstores. I pass by the Books In English section and it taunts me. "Read me," the cover said. "You like Ancient Greece shit."
"That I do," I answer, to the confusion of the bookseller passing by. My plans of befriending her for future discounts go down the drain, as I whisper. "And yet, I know I'll hate you."
"Yes," this book answers. "But how long as it been since you felt hatred?"
"I mean I read «I want to die but I also want to eat tteokbokki» not long ago."
The book squints. I wonder how it can do that since it has no eyes.
"True hatred."
Close scene.
I feel like I should start this post by exposing the three main points of it, to all of those who read and perhaps are not interested in yet another "BookTok has to be fucking insane to have hyped this" rant:

1. I picked up this book knowing it was bad.
2. I haven't finished it yet, because it is so bad.
3. I am struggling to finish it, because it is so bad.

If you have enjoyed this book, please tell me how to at least derive fun out of it. I am struggling immensely.
My problems with it:
a) Persephone can't even classify as a Mary Sue because I genuinely do not feel like she is good at anything. I apologie for any Mary's or Sue's reading this for even associating yall's name with such a character. The character is so one dimensional that she is deserving of merely one name. To honor the incosistency in writing, I shall be inconsistent myself, and refuse to choose one. Sue is suffering from the greatest case of Mary, but in the direction of pure incompetency. Theresa so far flip-flops from cutesy, virginal goddess who's super shy and not like other girls, to a 2014 girl's interpretation of what a badass woman looks and acts like.
b) This one dimension-ness is shared by all characters so far.
c) I have stumbled upon fanfiction more eloquent and consistent in the "Crack" tag. Christ on a hike, is the writing bad.
I have not even reached one (1) page where la pieceh delah resistanceh* which are the "intimate" scenes of book but the scenes of "excitedness" from Persephone are so childishly written and baffling that I am DREADING them.
You may ask:
"Why keep reading then? Sounds like you hate it and will take nothing from it."
I shall borrow the points format from above.

1. My parents did not raise a coward (on purpose), but they did raise me stubborn.
2. I hate the idea that a grouping of words is so bad that it overpowers me like so.
3. I feel like it'll work like a vaccine and innoculate me from bad books here onwards. No more looking at the BookTok table, no matter the occasional pretty cover or much more accessible price point.

Please help. I want to finish this book. Suggestions on how to do it? Do I just gotta lock tf in? Do I pray to God? More than one, even? Do I get a glass of wine and get drunk whilst reading? Do I go to a secluded area where no humans are around for miles and simply scream as I read each word and turn each page?
Thanks in advance, and sorry for the rant.
*No corrections, please. I have no respect for the french language.

I know milk is good for at least a few days after after, spices, I will keep until I empty the whole bottle. Bread is good until I see mold. Throw away expired medication. Expired Skin care is just fine. What other things are good past the expiration date?

(26M) recently broke up w my gf (25F). We dated for 7 months. It was amiable and we've maintained really good relationship since. We both have things we need to work on and aren't mature enough to proceed at the pace we were moving. Things got serious very quickly and we would have to be doing LDR going forward. I hope to pick things back up with her in the future.
Throughout our relationship l've noticed she does this thing in group settings. She puts on this persona. It's like she's trying to produce the "Marilyn Monroe effect" which is basically being the most charming, confident, funny, and overall attention grabbing person in the room. And it just feels super disingenuous. She is a very charming person but it doesn't feel like she's presenting her self it feels like she's artificially boosting it and putting on a character. That's just not how she acts around me or her family. I feel like it also comes out at moments where she is coping or avoiding things.
Sometimes she has that character on and she brings it to me when l'm there and I feel gross when she does that. Like I'm part of the crowd she's trying to shmooze. We have a super healthy communication style and things always feel genuine and safe and real but then she does this and I just feel gross, idk how else to put it. I want things to work out between us long term but since we split I feel like I see her doing this more and more and worry she’s not ok.
I want to understand it. Has anyone noticed something like this before or been in this headspace themselves? Idk how to or if I need to address it.

Should I be worried that my GF (19f) is going to leave me (18m)?
This is a really long story so please bare with me.
Ok so first of all, you're all going to see that I'm not innocent in this but I just couldn't help myself as you'll see.
So for context, my gf and I have been dating for 3 months now at long-distance. I've visited her every 2 weeks since we met and I feel we really do like/love eachother.
However, there has been some road bombs since we started dating but this story only concerns one of them.
And it's important to note that my GF has had a few "crushes" and 1 or 2 short "relationships" in highschool before me. One of those includes a crush on a guy who we'll call Frank. This was at most just the 2 of them having a deep interest in eachother and they both knew. All of this being around 2 years ago.
In early April, my GF's older cousin got an invitation from one of her friends, who we'll call Oliver, to go to his Birthday Party. And he told my GF's cousin to invite all of her cousins if she wanted to. Including my GF.
And lord and behold, guess who was also going to the party? Frank.
And when Frank got word that my GF was going, my GF, who at the time told me all of this btw, said that Frank let out a joyful "yes" in response to her going.
Now, I obviously HATED hearing this, but I appreciated the fact that my GF told me when she didn't have to if she didn't want to.
So a week goes by and the party is coming up...
Everything is going well between us until...the night of the party. On the day of the party, we were both good as usual. We talked, called, she went to work just before the party and she sent me cute pics of her and all that stuff until after her shift.
After she finished work, she was immediately taking the bus to the party and that's when things went south. We called whilst she was on the bus and she suddenly became so cold to me. I can't explain it but she just became cold and her tone sounded mad at me. I kept trying to talk to her until she cut the call and texted me: "we're done".
I called her back and texted but she was still cold. I to talked her about all the things we've said and done and what they meant to her and she basically said "I don't care". I was depressed but after trying too much, I stopped texting.
2 hours later, at around 1am, I get a text from her calling my name:
"Toby?"
I answer:
"Yes?"
To which she replies "I'm sorry". It kept going a bit like that until she started telling me about why she ended it. And the first reason was because we were so far apart. And I'm like, ok sure, I understand that, but why not talk to me about it rather than making me feel so shit about myself?
That kept going for a bit and a few other things happened but aren't important. Let's skip to when she arrived back home.
As she was back home, in her bed, we continued texting. And this is when she told me the second reason as to why she ended it. Which was the fact that, a week earlier, I brought up how she's going to uni soon and that I was concerned about her meeting new people there and potentially leaving me. And I guess this kinda backfired because it apparently put doubts in her head about whether or not I'd leave her. So essentially, she ended it before I could, so she wouldn't have to endure that pain.
So we talked we talked we talked, and in the end, about 4 hours of reassuring her later, we got back together.
So the next day, we started talking about the party. And that's when she opened up about something. So apparently, Frank, had approached her during the end of the party when she wanted to go home and started talking to her about how he left his old gf and blah blah blah, obviously trying to show an opening but my gf didn't show any interest, allegedly. I didn't think much of this, even though once again, I HATED it.
Now let's skip to today.
So this is where I also become an AH in this. A week ago, when I was visiting her, she logged into her Instagram on my phone because her phone died. And when I left, she didn't log out.
So curiousity got the best of me. I snooped around in her DMS. First of all, there are absolutely zero guys in her DMS. Cool. But the main reason I was snooping was actually precisely because I wanted to see what she was gossiping to her close friends about, especially on the night of the party.
And as I scroll, I see something.
In one of her DMS with her friend, she talked about the moment Frank got word that she was going to the party.
And to cut it simple, she talked about how he was excited she was coming and all that until I see:
"I feel bad"
Her friend replies:
"About what?"
To which my gf replies:
"About thinking for a second about leaving Toby for Frank".
When I read this, my heart, dropped.
The next messages were her friend saying I'm better, my gf agreeing and all that stuff.
But then my gf says "put me back on the right path please". Like what?
She then went on to say that she knew Frank wasn't worth it regardless of what she felt and that she was just flattered in that situation. "As all girls are".
Needless to say, regardless of the fact that they said I was better, that hurt me like a mf.
And then in another DM with another friend, they talked about the moment Frank approached her at the party. And essentially, they said what I said earlier but in no way did my GF say anything like "No I'm not interested" or "I have a BF". In fact, she was talking about how bad his flirting skills were with her.
I feel so down rn after having seen all of that.
But it's worth noting that my GF expressed many times before that she doesn't support cheating in any way. She HAS good values (doesn't like exposing herself, partying often all that stuff) and she is a good person overall. And she has expressed recently as well, to her friends via DMS, about how much I make her happy and that I have no red flags or whatever. And that she loves me a lot.
So I just don't know what to think or do.

I don’t like dating apps for a couple of reasons. Firstly I feel like a lot of the people on there don’t have anything in common with me (don’t share my special interests etc). Of course you’re not going to find someone who’s one for one like you, you need to make compromises and try out their interests too. But it’s just to the point where I have no chemistry with a lot of people on there.
Secondly dating apps are businesses. I’m convinced that they actually don’t want most people to find a partner on there and instead want them to spend as much time using their service as possible. Also the price of their premium services are ridiculous - £30 for one week of bumble?!?! It’s just preying on people’s insecurities.
Thirdly I notice how it effects my own behaviour. If I’m swiping on hundreds of people I start to get very picky about people’s looks. It can get to a point where I’ll swipe left if someone has a slight imperfection, where as if it was someone I just met in real life I’d probably find them attractive. So I feel that it’s just not a healthy way to view people. Of course not getting likes for some time impacts my own self worth as well.
Most of the success I’ve had in the past was actually talking to people on Discord servers or Reddit. I think because there you can just message people instead of waiting for the algorithm to match you with someone. Also people there are more likely to be ND too, like video games and anime etc. The only problem with that is they’re usually long distance, and I just don’t want to do that again.
People have also suggested picking up a hobby and trying to meet people naturally. Unfortunately most of what I do for fun these days is play card games, and every card shop I’ve been to so far only has guys there. Maybe I’d have more luck if I went to something like a language exchange, or went back to Fencing or a different sport like basketball. Could try that once I move back to the city.

First heartbreak at 26 y/o how to deal with it
After spending a few days working on this, there has been some progress. So, to summarize: I've been dating this girl for 9 months. About a month ago, I confessed my love for her, but she didn't say it back, instead expressing affection in other ways. A couple of weeks later, she sort of ghosted me for a weekend, apologized, and we had a conversation. During that conversation, I went to her place seeking comfort because one of my friends had passed away. That's when she mentioned she wasn't sure about continuing the relationship because our feelings weren't on the same level. We agreed to give it another month, and that week was amazing. However, now she's ghosting me again, but for a longer period. We talked on Monday, but this time, I've been feeling limited in what I can say. I haven't reached out since, and it's been radio silence. She mentioned that her grandmother in the UK is getting worse and she's been reconsidering our relationship. She's been dismissive lately. I've been working every day for the past two months and doing therapy for a few weeks. I've lost 40 pounds due to a lack of appetite, but I'm coping. Physically, I'm getting stronger, but mentally, it's tough. I'm tempted to send a voice note just to check in and let her know I'm here. I've done a lot for her, like making her birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas special, and she was good to me at some point. I feel like I'm spiraling.
On the bright side, I've been doing well for myself. I recently styled an MLB player, got sponsored, and was interviewed for Style Canada, but I still can't find happiness.
During therapy on Monday, I was crying and asked my therapist for advice. She couldn't tell me what to do, but she suggested I block her on TikTok and Instagram, where she often posted about her social life, which made it harder for me to move on because she’d be shaking ass and partying while I’m here crying and it felt like she was trying to get into competition with me since she wants to start taking content creation seriously and I have a big following already I offered help but she declined
The reason it's been hard for me to let go is because she showed me how to have fun and be myself. We went to many concerts and had late-night adventures together. She was also my first sexual partner at 26 years old and the first girl to make my birthday special.
Blocking her felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders, and it feels like life is just beginning now.
The last time we talked was on Wednesday when I saw her. She barely kissed me and wasn't "feeling it." I even got her food and flowers (I kinda over did the flowers I get her flowers every month or so) said she was meeting a guy friend looked excited and I felt jealous because she’s avoiding dates with me and etc. She said she'd try on a dress I made for her that night but later messaged me saying she was going to bed because she finished her tasks late. I said okay and left it to her to message me, but I haven't heard from her yet.
I was the first guy to meet her mom and she met my family and it’s just one day she went cold turkey. Said she got love for me but not in love with me and thought she would be “dulu” and also said that since she never been in a relationship she has nothing to base it off of (which I didn’t buy) she also said that came from a broken home and can’t give me what I want but at the beginning she said could (I want what my parents have, they been together for 35+ years strong faith humans)
How do you guys handle this?

My guy (52) and me (48) started out as friends before we began dating. We’re great communicators and can talk about anything. No topic is off limits. However we are both pretty emotional creatures and it’s not uncommon for one of us to “trigger” the other. We usually can talk about it, learn from it, and move forward.
There is pattern emerging that I’m concerned about, and I’m trying to figure out how much of it I own.
I’ve been in a depressive funk for a while now, a solid 6 months, over my job. It’s toxic, and I’m feeling stuck. There are days I will become so overwhelmingly depressed, all I can do is cry in bed. We don’t live together, not yet, so he’s never seen these episodes. I have told him about them, and I told him I don’t want to be around anyone when they happen. They can be scary for other people and my past experiences with letting someone in when it happens has led to some very unhelpful responses. I’ve had a friend try to get me committed, when all I needed was to be heard. That kind of thing. I’ve learned it’s better for me to just do what I need to do and come out of it myself than involve someone else.
This has upset my SO. He feels I am shutting him out. He’ll ask if I need anything, and I’ll tell him I can handle it, I just need time to pull myself out of it, which is usually a day, of just crying it out.
He does not like this and reacts by getting angry and defensive. I’m accused of shutting him out and not letting him in.
I will admit, we both have issues with this. I have learned to reassure him he has done nothing wrong, that I love him and I will talk about things when I can form a rational sentence, but it doesn’t seem to be good enough. I don’t think needing alone time is a rejection, and it shouldn’t matter what that alone time is for, whether it’s to process some heavy shit or just read a book by yourself.
Does anyone have advice on how I can see this a bit differently? He’s angry about this but I also don’t know how to accommodate him.

I 20m have been with my 19F girlfriend for a little over 2 years. We've lived together for about a year now. I work 30+ hours a week and my GF 40+ hours week.
For context me an my girlfriend have always had a rocky relationship. In the beginning it would be small things like me falling asleep on call at 2AM when she was talking about something she liked. Me being late for stuff or just plain braking promises I shouldn't have made because I knew I properly wouldn't be able to live up to them. For the first year we would have 2 good weeks and then a bad week because I messed up by falling asleep, being late, buying the wrong fries/burger, not calling early enough among other things. I had a hard time apologising in the beginning, but learned how to do it after hard work. Whenever we would get in an argument I would apologise immediately and tell her how sorry I was. I understood I had made a mistake that hurt her and I should be better. I started seeing a mentor at school to work on why I had such a hard time keeping promises and breaking them. After a few sessions the mentor flat out told me I shouldn't be with my girlfriend and called it "emotional terror" on her behalf. I talked with my girlfriend about what I had discussed with my mentor. My GF told me that what I was telling wasn't the whole truth so of course that was the response I was getting from the mentor. I agreed and everytime I went to see the mentor I would also defend my GF in every scenario we talked about.
Cut to some time later where this cycle of 2 good weeks 1 bad week had continued and we had moved in together. She worked a lot and I tried my best to handle all the cooking, cleaning laundry while working my own job and my other hobbies. I started feeling really drained and began to slip on my chores. During this time my GF would also work a lot more (around 65-75 hours a week) primarily cleaning at night. She would get paranoid around 02:30 to 03:30 so I would drive to her work and sit in my car. Some times for more than 5 hours just so she had me close(for the record it was a brand new top of the line car warehouse(picture lambos, Ferrari and such) so she was safe).
When I finished school it's tradition to party in a truck with your classmates and so of course I did. We drove around for 10 hours and with me being drunk I didn't text my GF at all. We drove for 2 days and on the last day I had arranged with her to meet me at a bar so we could celebrate my graduation together. I ditched my classmates to go see her and when I met up with her she wasn't happy at all. Long story short she was mad I hadn't texted her and it ended up in me following her home apologising and crying until I feel over and had to be driven home by a stranger. I still regret not celebrating my graduation more than what I did.
I talked with one of my coworkers about all of this and more like me seeing a therapist to work on the problems from earlier, driving spending hours on hours waiting for her to finish school and work. Her having full access to my so she could check it whenever she wanted and I wasn't allowed to see hers (I've never really suspected cheating. One time I spent my lunch break at work to drive home and make sure she got up and drove her to work because she got up too late and didn't answer my calls. Anyway my coworker said the same the mentor said and this time I made damn sure to tell the whole story and showed proof so I could get straight answers. He suggested she might be a narcissist. I ended up spending a night at his place where she spammed my phone with calls and messages which I didn't respond to per his advice. He along with every else I have talked with has suggested I should break up with her, but I just love her much. I eventually went home to her and talked with her. She said she was sorry about everything and would be more forgiving of me making small mistakes like buying the wrong fries or not having done the dishes. It's been 4 months since that happened. I talked with my long time friend about it and he told me the same. He had just come out of a 2 year relationship at that point so he knows how hard it is. He suggested I set a date in my head where if things haven't gotten better by that date I should end it. So I did. The date came and went and I couldn't make a decision. Some things had gotten better, but some didn't. I still do all the chores except laundry. She works less so she's taken that. I couldn't bring myself to make a decision by the date so I just didn't. I haven't kept her up to her promises to me since I have forgotten what they were. My memory hasn't always been as bad as it is now though.
Anyway that bring us to today. She asked me to wake her up at 11:00 am today. I'm home with a bad ankle sprain (trying to find transport to see a doctor) and she took a day off from school. I woke her up at 11:00, 11:02, 11:05, 11:07.... I tried to wake her for 15 minutes, shaking her and talking to her, but she would get up. If I could get a lift by 11:25 I could see the doctor today (I didn't) so I after she only woke up a little bit at went back to sleep I gave up. I tried again at 12:00, 12:30, 13:00, but she just wouldn't wake up more than a quick second. She woke up now at 18:30 being really mad at me for not waking her up. I tried to tell her that I did my best at waking her, but she just wouldn't get up. She wasn't having it a told me it was my fault she didn't get up and missed her own doctors appointment which I had no idea about. It apparently was a meeting to get a new prescription for her ADHD medication which she needs this week. She noticed she was running low last week so I don't understand why she waited until now since she also had Wednesday to Friday off last week. I don't think it's my fault she didn't get up as I told her I'd try to get her up. I did try my very best. She's asked me to wake her before where I tried, but had to go since I was running late for work. I told her she should have set alarms if it was this important and she knows I barely slept due to the pain in my ankle. she's old enough to get up herself without relying on me as she does every day.
she used to say she "knows I'll disappoint her". She's said this a lot in the past and did today.
I know I wrote a lot, but I feel like I'm going crazy some days. I know I'm far from perfect, but I can't be that bad. I wish I could have followed her when said she was leaving 45 minutes ago to "go somewhere not here", but since I can barely walk I didn't follow her.
I just want to know if I'm as bad as she says. What should I do? I do truly love her and want to be with her, but some days it seems like a big mistake.
Tl;dr I have made mistakes which friends, family and professionals have told me isn't my fault and I'm being abused, but I fear I explained things so poorly they're not giving me real/biased answers/advice in the situations me and my GF have been in.
I'm really emotional right now so let me know if I did anything wrong or just have questions.

Been together six years, two kids. Lots of ups and downs in the relationship but I’ve always thought things were fixable. I’ve been feeling “not loved” since July – I reached out to a long-distance ex in December telling her that things weren’t good here, that I missed feeling loved, that I was sorry for how I treated her ten years ago and my general struggles. Spouse found out on my phone, I told her I had no interest in leaving her, that I loved her. Stopped all communication with the ex. Acknowledged it was an emotional affair.
In February my spouse started a romantic affair with a previous partner (his affair from 9 years ago that was left unfinished) which turned sexual when she was flying to another city to visit a girlfriend. I found out three weeks ago while snooping her phone – while trying by best to repair things at home. I felt absolutely betrayed. She booked him a flight and expensive hotels beyond our means for them to have a four-day seaside retreat / bang fest together coming up in June. She denied it – said he didn’t have a credit card and gave her cash to book a flight, but when I told her I saw everything and reached out to him and said “Hey, we live together, we’re raising kids together and she’s not single” she began packing to move to her sisters.
For three weeks since D-Day I’ve been doing everything against Chump Lady’s advice – I’ve begged, proposed, wrote letters that I can forgive her because I wasn’t very good in December (although the scale is very different). I’ve offered to do anything to fix things – but she’s beyond checked out and still communicating with him. She fully moved out last week and I have a lawyer drafting a separation proposal. I’ve told her that I can forgive the past – but I can’t forgive her going on the trip with him in three weeks. I’ve offered money for the hotels ($600/night) – take the kids, I’ll stay home etc.
I have been going to counselling since January – I’ve gone four times in the past month. Going again tomorrow. A quote that my counsellor told me “She’s showed you that she is the kind if person who can betray her partner without remorse. Think about this - Is she really the kind of person you should WANT to stay in a relationship with”. The logic brain says – no, but my heart does. I love her, our kids, her family. I know we can fix things. I have been trying so hard in communicating since January, trying to rebuild trust, thinking about the relationship – but if they go on their affair week adventure I don’t know if I can ever forgive and move forward with her. She seems fully intent on moving forward with her adventures.

Two years ago, I had just moved to a new house from a different neighbourhood for work. I was settling in and getting used to the place, but I was still lonely and went through bouts of depression.
My ex-boyfriend of five years had ended the relationship a while before I moved, and I wasn't having much luck going on dates. I eventually decided to focus my energy into work and fitness instead, but the loneliness lingered. The house still felt empty at times, and the silence was painful. I went through the motions numbly as the days passed by.
About two months after I had moved in, I started noticed a stray dog pacing around my front yard from time to time. It had big, brown, sad eyes, and there was no collar around its neck. I couldn't tell you what breed it was - a reverse Google image search tells me it looks like an Indian Pariah dog. I could always recognize it, as its left eye was slightly larger and darker than the right, but that gave it some unique charm. After seeing it outside my front door for three days straight, I put up some posters along my street inviting anyone who might have lost a dog to call me. I quickly learned that I probably shouldn't have done that, after getting a few silent calls from an unknown number that I eventually chalked up to being a prankster or some scammer.
I called a local animal shelter and them pictures of the dog. A guy came over to scan the dog for a microchip, but found nothing. He said it was most likely abandoned as a puppy. He could take it back to the shelter, or I could look after it for the time being - they would contact me if anyone ever tried to claim it. My grandad had a german shepherd that I used to love playing with, so I always had a soft spot for dogs and agreed to look after it, even if it was for a while. The guy from the animal shelter advised that if I didn't hear back in a week, I should take it to the vet to get it checked out and microchipped, or to the shelter if I didn't want to keep it.
I took care of the dog and let it roam around the living room, with free access to the back yard. I decided to name him Charlie, and purchased more dog food, a labelled dog collar, some brushes to groom him with and dog toys. The nearest vet was a two hour drive away. Work was busy so I wasn't incredibly flexible for a visit, but I managed to get an appointment booked in two weeks' time.
The first night I spent with Charlie, I realized that he might just be what I needed in my life. Late in the evening, I sat on the couch looking at him, sitting quietly in the middle of the room on my wooden floor. I began talking out loud to Charlie. It seemed stupid at first, but the way he sat quietly and listened was comforting. After a while, I got more into it, and vented about my loneliness and frustrations to the point of tears.
How I stayed with my cheating, gaslighting ex-boyfriend because I was too insecure to be alone, until he dumped me. All my failed dates, and how I thought I would die alone and unloved. I poured my heart out to my new companion, spilling my deepest secrets until I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I again began talking to Charlie about the pain and depression I had been through, and he listened patiently once more. I discovered that spending time with my new friend was cathartic. Perhaps I needed to get it all out, and be listened to for once, even if not fully understood.
The third day after I had taken Charlie in, I woke up to realize that I'd overslept half an hour. I poured some food into Charlie's bowl and brushed my teeth at lightning speed, then grabbed my bag and flung the door open, ready to bolt into my car. A surprise greeted me at the front door, that made me stop.
There was a bouquet of red and pink roses on my front door step.
I picked it up and looked at it, confused. There was no note attached or anything. I couldn't think of who it would be from - I obviously hadn't been on any dates recently. Being late for work, I didn't have much time to ponder, so I dropped the roses back on my doorstep and drove off. During the drive, I panicked for a second at the thought that it could have been my ex, but then realized he didn't know my new address, or even that I had moved. The mystery bugged me all day at work. When I came back home, the roses were gone, so I assumed someone had accidentally left them at the wrong address.
That night, I woke to the sound of creaking. As I opened my eyes slightly, I saw something at the foot of my bed and bolted upright, adrenaline rushing through me. As the fogginess faded, my heart rate settled a little.
"It’s just you, Charlie," I sighed, "you scared me."
Charlie continued to stare at me from the foot of my bed. After a minute, he stood up and left the room. I didn't think much of it, and fell back asleep.
For the next week, I continued the usual ritual of talking to Charlie before I went to bed. I would talk about my day, my plans, hopes, dreams and other such things. I found our one way conversations getting more positive each day - they were very therapeutic. Charlie would always stare at me with those big brown eyes and sit quietly still as I talked.
On the morning of the vet appointment, for which I had taken the day off work, I noticed that my car was much cleaner than usual. Had it always been this shiny? I thought. I had driven it to work the Friday before, but I hadn't taken notice of how clean it was then. The last time I had, I could swear there were bird droppings on the back window, and some general grime that covered it all round, but it was now spotless. I pondered for a few seconds, and came to the conclusion that it must've just be a brain lapse on my part - it was probably always clean. Those droppings must have washed away over time with a few rainy nights.
I drove Charlie down to the vet and explained the story of how I'd found him.
"He's very well behaved," she beamed, as she began examining Charlie on the table. "We see a few of these cases from time to time. People's dogs have puppies, and they get sold or abandoned."
"It's a real shame," I sighed. "Charlie's been a star, I'm lucky to have him really. I live alone, so as odd as it sounds, I've been talking to him and it's helped me through some difficult moments."
"That's not strange at all," replied the vet, checking his teeth. "Owning a dog can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you live alo-"
She suddenly stopped.
I stared as she squinted and moved Charlie's head up and down, trying to get a look at something. She plucked a light out of her pocket and aimed it into Charlie's left eye.
"What's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, and kept looking at Charlie from different angles. He whimpered slightly.
"Did his eye look like this when you found him?" She asked. I leaned in closer.
"Yeah, I did notice his left eye was slightly darker and larger than his right."
She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows, then back at Charlie.
"I'd like to get a closer look at his eye and examine it in the next room, if that's okay?"
"Uh, sure," I said, confused.
Without further explanation, she hastily picked Charlie up and carried him off into a different room. I sat down and waited, reading the news on my phone, expecting her to be back in a few minutes. However, when the vet didn’t come back for a while, my concern began to grow. I paced around the room and tried to glance into the door she had left through a few times.
Then I sat back down and watched the minutes pass by, getting more anxious. Hopefully it's nothing, I thought to myself. An easily curable eye infection perhaps, or a defect he was born with - hopefully it was something like that or nothing. I'd only spent a few weeks with Charlie, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. I had told him so much about me, and he was the only one that had ever really listened to me. I had grown very attached to him quickly, so I almost felt like a worried parent, blaming myself for not bringing him to the vet sooner.
An hour and a half passed, but it felt like eternity. The vet finally came back through the door. I stood up.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Have you noticed any odd events recently?" she asked, "Like, anything you couldn't explain?"
"To do with Charlie?"
"No, just in general. Anything you've seen or heard around you that felt out of place in your life?" She insisted. I took a second to think.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna be relevant," I said, "But I have a couple of times. For instance, this morning I thought my car was a lot cleaner than usual. I've been getting some unknown calls, and hearing some creaking noises at night lately, but I'm sure it's just Charlie walking around and waking me up. And… someone left roses on my front doorstep one day. Didn't say from who, but… Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this."
I looked up at the vet, who now had a very concerned look on her face.
"I'm going to have to call the police," she said.
It took a few seconds to register. A million thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I say something wrong? Did she think I was abusing Charlie?
"I swear," I said, "Everything I've told you is true, I'm really sorry it took me so long to bring him in, it's my first time owning a dog and all…"
"No, no, it's not that," she said. She gestured for me to follow her into the room through the door.
Charlie was sitting on a table in the middle of the room. There were a few other tables surrounding it, with dog toys and surgical equipment on them. There was a large hole where his left eye had been, now a gaping black cavity.
The vet pointed at a sheet of blue paper on a table next to the one Charlie was on. There were two black domes resting on it, like two halves of a black ping pong ball had been split in half. A clear fluid was covering the outer sides, and staining the blue paper. There was also a tiny black cube. I looked closer, and saw some red and green wires coming out of the tube.
"I took this out of Charlie's left eye," the vet explained, "I thought my eyes were fooling me, but I took a closer look and was sure this thing definitely shouldn't have been in his head. When I took it out, I thought it was some kind of prosthetic eye, until I heard something moving inside it. I opened it up, and found this."
She pointed at the tiny cube and picked it up with some tweezers, revealing a transparent circular window on one side.
"Now I'm no expert, but I took that apart just now and to me it looked a lot like the inside of a camera lens you'd get on a smartphone."
She looked back at me.
"Do you think…" She paused.
"Do you think it's possible someone could have been watching you for the past few days?"
The police were eventually called and an investigation started. The tiny device inside Charlie's eye was indeed a camera lens with a built in audio recording device, and it had a wireless connection. It was an advanced piece of kit, but with some technical expertise they were able to examine its traffic logs and identify an IP address to which the miniature device was streaming.
That IP address belonged to my neighbor, who lived in the house opposite to mine.
I had never seen him leave the house before, although when I moved in I did see his silhouette in the top floor window a couple of times. He was a fifty five year old balding, slightly overweight man who worked as an engineer, but otherwise lived a reclusive lifestyle. I later found out that he had multiple restraining orders placed against him from ex partners. He had a collection of tiny bugging devices which he had been planting in various places including public women's bathrooms for years. These devices could livestream video and audio to his computer, and in his spare time he would watch and listen to this footage he collected.
A while before I moved into the house, he had purchased a puppy from someone he knew, and kept it as a pet without registering it. I assume he got bored of spying on women in bathroom stalls, and when he saw me move into the house opposite, he suddenly got a wild idea of how he could get a peek at something more intimate. The rest is some truly horrific history.
Charlie had been in my room while I slept and even a couple of times while I undressed. But worst of all, I had told him everything about me. The names of previous partners, things about my family, companies I had worked for and more. I wish I could say that I kept Charlie, but I just couldn't. Not after that. The vet arranged for him to be sent to the animal shelter where I'm glad to say he eventually did find a new home. I also relocated and changed my phone number.
For anyone out there wondering, I'm still single. The difference is that nowadays, I'm completely at peace with being alone. I've experienced a worse alternative, that's for sure.

I (17F) had a strong connection to my father (65M), which we built up during the last years (during my parents' divorce).
During that time, he treated me as if I was his therapist without him nor me noticing that it is inappropriate (at this time I was at the age of 11). ‘Inappropriate’ as in too deep and personal conversations about his past and his trauma that he has experienced throughout his childhood and further, that he all dumped onto me, which led me feel emotionally responsible for him and his actions.
In the recent years (quite frankly a bit after their divorce) he tried online dating, although his preferences are a bit problematic and stereotypical (“Old white guy dating young Asian women”). During that period, he told me all about it, every single detail and further, which wasn’t too pleasing, due to me not being too mentally stable at the time. I watched him being scammed and used up until recently (one and a half years), when he met a now 23-year-old Asian woman that we will here call ‘Karen’. As they chatted and further, she was already being very problematic, as in trying to get in between me and my father, which led to them being in a sort of “on-off” situation several times. Regardless of that my father invited her to our homeland with a tourist VISA. During that time, I was at my then lowest point, not feeling too well, even after giving her a “new” chance of redeeming herself, yet she did not take any initiative to get to know me better, nor to get on my good side. Short after her arrival I had a school trip from which me and my father planned on him picking me up from the train station, which in the end he cancelled at the very last moment, due to him not trying to upset Karen, who was mad that I wanted to be with my dad / him picking me up (This being one of many examples of her regular behavior). This led to me feeling unwell and unwanted around her, which I tried talking over with my father, sadly he kept defending her behavior as it being shyness. This was obviously not true, due to her bragging with overly sexual poses on social media with posts about her being in our homeland. She left about 2 months after her arrival and has now (at the time of this post creation) returned for around 3 months. During that period of her not being around me or my father they kept being “on-off” several times, which once again shows how unserious this “relationship” is.
I’ve told my father several times about how him being with that woman is sickening, not only due to the huge age-gap, but mostly because of her behavior and actions, which I’ve tried tolerating too much at this point, yet he persistently kept defending her. I’ve stayed at home multiple days now, due to the emotional damage that has built up on me. This has led to me cutting off contact with my father, which is very hard for me, due to the emotional connection I've built up with him, yet it feels very freeing. He somehow still doesn’t understand what his actions have made me go through.
AITA for slowly cutting off contact with my dad from my life for being with an obvious and manipulative gold-digger?

I’m been loving the wrong person for a long time. The harder I love the painful it only gets. Why did I do this to myself? It’s no wonder nothing was ever reciprocate or acknowledge. I did a wife job when I was only a gf and y I did that was because when I first met him he was poor as hell living w his father who didn’t even buy him a bed and he had no clothes. After our third date he asked me for 50.00 for gas and took that money n bought two sweater. I didn’t think much just knew I loved him even more. All these years I only given n given and all he ever do is take and take. Not only was he just taking but being selfish and treated me unkind. I don’t know why I stayed so long but for sure I had some inner wound too that hasn’t healed. When I love this man so much he told me I was bad for him. He said he be ever knew what he did wrong. Just knew I was always asking about something. He’s tired of me asking. I know now he doesn’t love me, maybe just didn’t want anyone else to have me because I am a good person. I’m just so broken because of all this. How can u love someone so much u become blinded. You loose urself in them. U become them at the end and that’s not who I want you to be. Someone pls give me some words of hope or encouragement to let him go for good!

Okay, so this is going to be a long one. I (31F) have been married to my husband (32M) for 13 years, going on 14 years. We married young. I was 17, and he was 19. (Yes, I know that's crazy young) My husband, i will call him (" hubs " in this post) has 2 brothers. I will refer to his brothers as ( "John" and "zack"). Hubs is the oldest of the three boys. Zack is the second oldest brother (26 M), and John is the youngest brother (24M).
For years, I have had issues with zack. He has continually bullied me in the past. I used to have a lazy eye (I've had surgery to correct it), and he would make fun of it. Asking me which eye i was looking at him with. I have 3 kids, and before I started working again, he made a recommendation to me while having him as a guest at my home.. the recommendation was that I get up and give my chair to my husband so he can sit and relax because he "actually works." As a teen ( he was 17ish), he shoulder checked me (HARD) into a brick wall while I was pregnant with my second daughter. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I lived with my in-laws for a while, and he would make up lies about me to "get his way" with his parents. Stupid lies. Like I was hogging the TV remote, or I was being "mean" to him. Because he is their child and they did not know me well, of course they believed him. Since then, it's been non-stop little things. And jokes that are very distasteful and inappropriate. (No im not a karen these jokes were concerning sex or race and he would say them around my young children) (they are no longer allowed around zack without me or hubs present due to this issue) These things continued to happen up till about 3 or 4 years ago.
My husband's family has regular family gatherings. For every holiday, and in-between the holidays birthdays. For YEARS, I have continued to go despite me being uncomfortable. I respect Hubs mom and grandmother a lot. I also have a good relationship with them. So, to keep the peace, I just dealt with it. That is until my 30th birthday. I then decided that I wouldn't sacrifice my peace on every holiday ect to make someone else happy. So I told my husband's mom that I would only be attending 1 or 2 a year because I no longer wanted to be put in uncomfortable situations.
Zack found out about this. I'm assuming his parents told him. He called and apologized to me. Altho I do forgive him. I don't trust him. So I still don't go much. (Also, zack had been a lot better... untill now)
Rewind a bit..
Now to the SIL Zack got married a few years ago. We will call his now wife "jan" (24F). Jan is 3 months older than the youngest brother John. Despite my distaste for zack, I have tried to keep the peace with Hubs' family. I didn't want to be the cause of family issues. So when I found out about Jan, I had her and zack over. The first time I met Jan, she "scoffed" at me. I joke around with hubs a lot. I call him "baby daddy." We were standing in my kitchen, and I said, "Hey baby, Daddy, can you hand me my drink?" she looks over and scoffs and rolls her eyes at me. Again.. this is our first meeting and we are in MY house. As time passes, she does this quite often. A few years ago, I got breast augmentation, and I was honest about it. I didn't hide it. After three kids and breastfeeding, I wanted to love my body again, and I felt I needed to normalize things like this. (Also, I didn't get them huge.. not that it would matter if I did but for context in 5'4 145 lbs my bottom half is "thicker" so dr said larger implants would "even me out" i got DD's and they do look Portionate) Well I was passing zack and Jan at hubs grandmother's house I over heard them laughing about it. (I don't remember their exact words) Then after that, I found out from other family members that she was going around talking bad about me and my augmentation behind my back.
After that happened, my children went to my mother in laws house. ( zack and Jan moved next door to them), and Jan went to MIL house with her four-wheeler. Then Jan and FIL let my (at the time 11 year old) son get on without an adult with no prior experience and without our knowledge and with no gear. He drove it around the property. I found out about this, and hubs spoke to his parents and let them know that we were not comfortable with that. I called Jan and politely told her that we don't like him on things like that by himself. (My hubs best friend died on something similar when he was 15) and asked that the next time she would call to ask, and maybe we could at least get protective gear for it. She snapped at me and wouldn't let me finish my statement, and with an attitude said "okay I get it, you're the parent," and hung up.
Following this there was also a family wedding that she was very rude at. John got married to a lovely and sweet girl. I will call her lisa. Mine and jans kids were both hin johns and lisas' wedding. So we were in the room with lisa and the bridesmaids. Jan was so rude that the bridesmaids in the wedding noticed. However, Im really close to John and really do see him as my brother. So I kept my mouth shut and held it together because I didn't want to start anything on his wedding day.
Fast forward to now
We recently had a family get-together. I don't go often, as i stated above. But I haven't seen the family in a while (and I am really close to them) so I decided to go. Zack was working, so he wasn't there, but Jan and her two kids were. Lisa and I talked for a while (we are close and get along great!) then I talked to the rest of the family a bit. Jan walked past me and said hi, so to keep things cordial, I smiled andnsaid hi. But that's all I said to her while I was there. When I left, I hugged everyone goodbye (not jan).
A while later, I got a phone call from another family member saying that zack called them ranting about how jan told him i was mean to her. How I didn't hug her goodbye and accusing me of trying to "steal lisa." (Like you can steal a human being 🤦🏻‍♀️) Then zack told this family member that if I continued, he was going to go back to his "old ways."
I'm taken aback by this. I do not want a relationship with zack or Jan because I don't think they are good people. They have both been constant drama and just distasteful. Zack had gotten better, but now this... and still... Why would I want a relationship with them. Or go out of my way to physically hug someone who is hateful to me? Also, i don't even go to most of the family gatherings. How am I trying to steal the other sister in law? Lisa and I hung out outside of the family because we bonded. I even spoke at their wedding. This was already known information. Why would it be weird that I talk to her? I get that jan may feel left out, but in my opinion, you can't make your bed out of rocks and then be upset that it's not comfortable... why should i once again have to make myself uncomfortable to please her? Or them? Jan claims that she just wants a relationship with me (she didn't tell me this. She told another family member)(and this was the same day she and zack call a different family member to rant about how mean i am), but i think she just likes playing games. Because if she did, she wouldn't treat me the way she continues to. (Also, I'm not the only one who notices the way she has treated me) I think she wants to be a victim 🤷🏻‍♀️ Most of the other family members understand my POV. But some think I should "give her a chance," but i do not understand the logic of jan and zack. And i do not have a desire to have any form of a relationship with them.
AITA For not wanting to involve myself with her and her husband? What do I do? If I don't go to any family functions, I'm letting them control me. So I'm definitely not doing that, but what other options are there?
Also, NOTE- My husband hates zack and Jan. He is on my side with this. Also, sorry for any typos. I wanted a biased opinion on this, and I'm about to have to leave for work, so I typed fast 😅

Friend (28M) and I (28F) have known each other for 4 years, both single. We met during our studies at university, and now we are close to graduating and will become colleagues, as we will be lecturers there. We used to argue a lot in the past about everything around feminism (from soft jokes to getting angry for two months and then behaving like nothing happened). A year ago, I told him at a dinner with friends that we should stop these arguments since we have the same opinion in 90% of cases and disagree only in 10%, mostly about our own personal experiences, which we are sensitive about for our own reasons.
After this dinner, we had a long walk (we live near each other) and 1) he told me that it was his birthday (no one knew that). To this day, it means a lot to me that he shared this information with me, and 2) we shared a very long hug, a kiss on the cheeks (for context, in my country this is a pretty common thing to do with good friends), and a very long look while still hugging. To be honest, I am still angry at myself for not kissing him in that moment. I felt his kiss on my cheek for a few days afterward. But in that moment, I got scared. After that, we only met occasionally, a few times for coffee, dinner, or lunch. I initiated meetings only by text, and he only asked in person (and planned on the spot). Recently, he has become more open with me (sharing information about his life, past, family, how he would like to live with his partner, etc.). When we meet, we can talk for 2-4 hours without a problem. Usually, we need to stop our conversation because we are supposed to be somewhere else.
BUT at the same time, he is sharing with me information about a girl he is interested in who is taken. I also think it is possible that he might be a virgin or not very experienced, which I wouldn’t mind.
I feel very dumb and delusional. Please, can you tell me your honest opinion so I can move on? Is he interested, or are we just becoming closer friends? Or who is friendzonin who?

She was my first love, first everything. When I met her she was hurting herself. I did everything I could to help her. Twice I had to call the police cause she was going to kill herself. She was controlling. She removed any relationship with a female I had. I let her. I paid tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills to help her with her suicidal thoughts. Most of the inheritance I got from my grandfather. We were only 18, but I took her into my home, got her eating again, did everything in my power to make her happy. From surprise trips to disneyland, to expensive jewelry. Hell, I even bought her an entirely new wardrobe because she didn't want to go home. I built a home with her, only teenagers, but people who I thought felt the same way about eachother. From the nicest stores she could find too. I stopped going to school to take care of her, because she needed someone to be with her. I threw away years of extremely expensive schooling, a GPA I worked hard for, and my chances at a good college because I thought she was all I'd need and things would work out. And what do I get? Physical abuse, screaming at me, controlling behavior, every form of toxicity imaginable. She lied to my face. She called her ex after a fight and lied to me about it, and when I asked her why she said her friends said it was better. And even after moving past that, she still stayed friends with those people. But I thought she loved me, and I thought she wanted to change. She said it enough anyways. I thought that even though she treated me this way, she at least was loyal, she would never hurt me, she only wanted me.
We were toxic, I wasn't as bad but I know I wasn't perfect. I would be resentful, I would be cold to her when I felt she wasn't sorry. I started to yell back. I felt our relationship corrupting me. So I tried to end things. I was weak though. She was my everything. I gave up so much for her, so we began a cycle of toxicity. Never truly breaking up, also promising to be exclusive, but relying on eachother for the love we never got. After nearly three years I got tired of loving harder, of putting in more, of constant dissapointment catching her in a lie or her blowing up at me. I put work into myself, and I was able to break things off. I knew it was what's best for both of us. I didn't deserve abuse. She didn't deserve someone who resented her. I told her this, I felt we were finally communicating, I wish her well, I sent her money. I got her a job at a fantastic school where she could work with kindergarteners, her dream job. Yesterday, a month later, she comes to my house, knowing I was struggling. She says she cares about me, that she doesn't wanna hurt me, and when I ask her if she was ever texting or seeing anyone else, she lies to my face. I kept asking too. Because I can sometimes tell when she lies. And she had the nerve to get upset at me for it. As if I owe her my trust. She convinces me that I am being crazy and we sleep together. She tells me she is going to come over again and doesn't. And I joke, saying better not be on a date. Little do I know she's literally sleeping with the guy at her work she told me was just friendly to her. The guy she promised to set boundaries with. The guy she reassured me a dozen times was just friendly, it was just his personality, and only ONE WEEK after we stopped talking. ONE WEEK after she reassured me should could never replace me, that I was all she was thinking about. And after I get her to admit it, she still lies, hiding more and more details I have to pull out of her. I passed out, I thought I was dreaming. I prayed I was dying and this was all one horrible hallucination. But I wasn't. She just stared at me on the floor. Crying not because she was sorry, but because I found out.
Ending things permanently with her was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I told my friends I can't even find other girls attractive anymore, that I don't think I could even date for a decade. She was all I thought about, all I focused on, everything I wanted it life. And she didn't even wanna keep her legs closed for a week. I meant that little to her. All those promises, those memories, the devotion. It was all one big lie. Years wasted, opportunities squandered. Just for her to run to the one person who would hurt me the most.
I'm disgusted, I'm angry with myself. I let this happen. I should've been stronger. I should've told her to leave when she showed up outside my window. But I didn't. I knew she was bad for me. I knew she didn't love me the same way I loved her, and I let this happen anyways. My parents didn't like her, my friends told me I was being stupid. I did this to myself. Maybe it's only been a day, but I don't know if I'll ever love again. I don't ever wanna open myself up to any girl. I refuse to be put in a vulnerable position like this again. I don't know how to trust again. This relationship has almost killed me, so maybe I dodged a bullet. But right now I'd be happy if that bullet hit me, because at least I'd have known it was me she wanted.

So I(14F), had these two friends, lets call them x1 and x2.
I knew x1 for basically my entire life since our parents were great friends since school, however x1 started becoming more and more narcissitic and selfish.
One of the situations where she acted like this was when I was younger my sister ( whose also close friends with x1 at the time) got an assignment from class to make a chart, so my sister had the large paper kept in her bag. We went to her house and she saw the paper in the bag, ahe said that she can make the chart “with her" and when they started she outright said “your handwriting is so messy and uneat so ill do the writing" she tried to make the whole chart so she could get credit for it but we made a excuse and left.
So x1 was not a good person, x1 and x2 randomly started becoming a duo which was fine but when they were together they were little hellspawns. I was pretty young when this happened so when they were rude, back talked, and made me feel left out it hurt alot. They were very good at manipulation and being a b so they made me and sister hate our friends.
Fast forward to last year, more of our extended friends also began to notice their idiotic moves and narcissicm.
We made this group around new year 2024 called six chapters for book tok since we all loved reading (x1did not like reading she just bought dark romance books to fit in with x2) We also made a instagram account to post videos of books but we didn't use it.
This information is needed for later in the story.
In january this year we planned this event of playing the hunger games in real life (check my post in the hunger games subReddit if you wanna know how to) and everything was planned perfectly so our exams weren't to close, but last minute x1 said that the dates were not okay for her even though we confirmed with everyone including her atleast 20 TIMES by now
This caused an argument and it escalated to higher level of her leaving the group completely and so did x2 (they left because the night of the fight we spilled all our anger form the past two years about them being toxic) so we cut them out of our lives.
We thought all the toxicity ended and it was over with x1 and x2 but of course it didn't end there.
(Should I co ti ue the story)

Apologies for the length, just needed to be as thorough as possible.
Recently hanged out with a girl (X) that I've known for a while. We are not "friends" and have showed interest to each other but only slightly. A few days ago, we hanged out and at some point she mentioned that she went on a date the week before. The story didn't really make sense to me. For context;
We meet in October and were texting each other quick a few, replying to each other stories, and every time we hanged out (through a common group), she showed a bit more interest to interact with me.
At around January, we stopped talking, and we had not contact, texting, replying until the last week of march and first week of april where we hanged out again (2 weekends in a row, with common friends). During the second night out, i mentioned that i am seeing someone (which i was for 2 months), and she seemed bothered. She went silent, went to the restroom for a while and didn't talk much. When i mentioned that i wasn't sure about my relationship her advice was to break up.
And so, i did break up and i texted her. After that, she once again started seeking a bit more interaction, replying to my insta stories, texting etc. Before i move to the latest incident, which is the main issue, keep in mind that over the 2 week before, i had hanged out with a girl, a friend, and i had a few stories on my insta with her. So now to the events of last weekend.
We hanged out, literally this past weekend, at a beer fest, me, her (X), and a common friend. At some point, both of us being a little drunk, and without even talking about anything related she asks me "how is it going with that girl that you are seeing", (referring to the one she saw on my story). I wasn't sure who she was referring to so i said "what are you talking about, who" to which she replied "don't act like you don't know, i she your stories". For some reason i ended up not saying anything to that, and so she didn't continue with that convo. After about an 40 minutes her friend left and around 1.3h since we went to a place to eat.
Once we arrived there and ordered, she immediately started asking me about her, and she was acting as if it was a certainty that we were "dating". I talked to her about it saying that she likes me but i don't have feelings for her and that we are just hanging out for now. She responded with "oh so you just want to see if you'll get feelings?", to which i said yes, and that someones interest by itself isn't enough for me to like them. She genuinely seemed so interested to know about her, as if that was the only thing in her mind.
Anyways, after a while on the subway, once we had left the place and we were heading towards a bar, she said "i asked you all that before because i was on a date last week, my sister made me a hinge account and i went out with someone". I was confused. Again, for context, she hasn't dated anyone in a while (think over 1.5 years) and she very selective with guys, as she has very specific standards (logical and honestly attractive). She also has mentioned in the past that she wouldn't use dating apps anymore (compered to her early college years, 2-3 years ago). She said they have another date, this week, and when asking about him and what she thinks, she would act both hesitant (as if she wasn't interested or cared) but would also say "i guess i want to go on a date with him again, but idk". She spoke about it for like 1 minute max, and didn't seem to be able to say much about it aside from "yea he fits my standard, he cares). I would assume a girl who is supposed to be hanging out with a "friend" would be able to at least give a few more detailed info about her date. It just seemed like it never happened.
Long story short, I'm hanging out with her in 2 weeks and i wanted to discuss this with both my male and female audience. What are your experiences with similar situations? Is lying about going on a date a thing to get someones attention? Any opinions, stories, or relatable situations are welcomed.

I (38 F) have been married to my husband (41 M) for 7 years, this coming June and together for 9 years. We have two kids, twin boys, that are 5 months old. I'm going to give a long backstory so stay with me or scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR.
2 weeks before Mother's Day, I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months. I used his phone to use the Lowe's app to order lawn chairs since it's tied to our Lowe's card and I wanted to use our rewards. While I was looking for the particular set I want, he received a Snapchat notification from a woman. I didn't even know he had Snapchat so it peaked my interest. During this time, my husband was mowing the grass.
I open the snap and it's a nude of a woman looking to be in her mid-20s with the caption "I miss you being inside of me". My jaw hit the floor. I started going through his text messages and there were no conversations there with other women except employees from his practice (he is a dermatologist) that were harmless.
I started looking through his Snapchat and I guess he deletes everything because there were no chats between him and this woman. I am not familiar with Snapchat so I Google how to use it while I'm trying to figure out if I can retrieve deleted messages. I don't want to spend all the time I have left of him mowing reading through articles so I give up. I do go through his friend's list and end up coming back to it to take a picture of with my phone.
I look through the rest of the apps on his phone and they all seem benign except this secure folder. I open it and there's a passcode. I try three or four until I figure it out (the date of our first date, ironically) and it opens. There are dozens of nude photos of at least 3 women, including the woman from Snapchat. I know it's the woman from Snapchat because she has a very distinct tattoo on her stomach. Not only are there nudes but there are 2 videos of this same woman giving him oral.
My heart felt like it was trying to come out of my chest. I started shaking and tears started flowing. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and then grabbed my phone and started taking pictures of the evidence. I even recorded clips of the videos, I just couldn't watch them in their entirety.
I look through all the apps again and realize that maybe he has some hidden. So, I google hidden apps on android and follow the instructions. Three apps were hidden. Two messaging apps and a hook-up app called Adult friend finder. I debated even opening them because I was so scared of what I would find. But I ended up viewing them because knowing is better than not knowing for me.
He had been messaging at least 4 different women, including the video girl. He had sex with at least two of them that I found proof of. All messages made me sick but the video girl's messages were the worst and completely shattered my heart. I had to stop to go throw up because of the stress and anxiety.
Some messages that hurt me the most were: Her: "Tell me how much better my p***y is than your wife's." Him: "Wetter, tighter and infinitely better."
Her: *sends nude* "How does my body compare to your wife's?" Him: "There is no comparison baby, you are a goddess."
There were so many others but those two come to mind as the ones that made me feel the absolute worst. Remember, I just had twins 5 months ago. I am very insecure due to all of the changes that happened to my body and my c-section scar. I am also 25 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. My husband and I stopped having sex because it was so uncomfortable for me about 2 months before I gave birth, around the same time he started messaging these women coincidentally. We've only had sex about three times since they were born due to my insecurity issues and just being so exhausted caring for and breastfeeding twins every day. I also have a business and work from home around the twins' schedules so I can stay at home with them.
I take photos of everything, using my phone again like before. The earliest messages were sent 7 months ago so I know it had been going on for at least 7 months, while I was freaking pregnant with our twins. Oh, I also found out that the night after I had a c-section and while our newborn preemie twins were in the NICU, he met with video girl for a hook-up at her apartment. He told me he was going to get food and check on his office. With our twins being preemies, anything could have happened and he wouldn't have been there because he was with her. But, that wasn't a thought for him I guess.
I close out all the apps, make sure the hidden ones are hidden from his home screen and put his phone back exactly where I found it. I also make sure the snap notification was gone. I was nervous that he would find out about the snap that was opened but he didn't.
I call my best friend of over 33 years who is also my business partner. I tell him everything and have a good cry to let it all out. He helps me to collect myself and gives me some sound advice. He tells me to not tell my husband I found anything yet and to speak with a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. He said to meet with the best ones in my area so that they couldn't represent my husband. He offers me and the twins a place to stay at his home if I need time away from my husband, assuring me that his husband would love to have me there.
Over the next week, my BFF helps me take care of the twins while meet with 5 different divorce lawyers and end up hiring, in my opinion, the best. She tells me not to leave the family home so I end up not going to stay with my BFF. She starts the divorce paperwork immediately. During this time, I am doing my best to continue on like nothing is wrong. I want to make sure all of my ducks are in a row before he realizes what I know.
Fast-forward to Mother's Day. My husband makes me breakfast in bed, gives me very expensive jewelry, flowers, the works. I can't enjoy it, of course, because it feels so fake now that I know what he's been up to. I pretend to love it though.
My husband's father planned a cook out that afternoon for my husband's mother, sister (let's call her Julie), sister-in-law (let's call her Fran) and me. We all have infants under a year old so it's everyone's first Mother's day, except my MIL's of course. I told my husband that I didn't feel like going and he guilt-tripped me by saying that my FIL had a big surprise for me and he's been really looking forward giving it to me. So, I reluctantly agree. I ask if my BFF can come since his mother sadly passed away just under a year ago. He calls his dad and my FIL replies that of course he can come. My BFF agreed to come to offer me support since he knew it would be very difficult for me to be there.
I plan to act like nothing's wrong and try to enjoy the day since it's my first Mother's Day after all. I tell myself that I will focus on the twins and get cuddles from my two nieces. Julie has an 8 month old daughter and Fran (husband's brother's wife) has a 10 month old daughter. I'm also the closest to Julie out of all his family since we became friends 10 years ago and she's the one who introduced me to my husband.
We get there and everything is fine. My husband is helping his dad, brother (let's call him Chris), BIL (let's call him Roger) cook on the grill. My MIL and the women are taking turns holding the babies. My BFF took over the kitchen, finishing up all of the sides so the moms could relax. It started out to be a really good day. I kept myself from thinking of my husband's betrayal for the most part and focused on the family.
After we eat my MIL starts taking pictures of the family. I'm sitting on the couch and she tells my husband to sit beside me for the photo. He does and then she tells him to put his arm around me and jokingly says "pretend like you love her" and I lose it. I start to uncontrollably sob.
My MIL pulls me up and hugs me and my FIL comes over and joins in the hug. My BFF comes to stand right next to me. My FIL asks me what was wrong. I look at my BFF and he gives me a "tell if you want" look.
I tell them that I found out my husband has been cheating on me for at least 7 months. Julie gasps and everyone stares at my husband. He stands up and says "that's not true at all, why would you think that? You know you and the boys are my whole world." Everyone is silent, looking at me. I tell them all that I found messages, pictures, the hook-up app and even videos on his phone. My husband looks faint and sits back down. Nobody says anything for at least 2 minutes.
Finally, Julie asks my husband, while crying herself, why? My husband tells her that "I made a mistake, I only talked to the women, I never physically cheated." My BFF quickly replies, "Liar!" Julie then asks me what all I found. I tell them everything, the nudes, the videos of my husband receiving oral, the messages and even tell them what those horrible messages said about me. He continues to deny it! I pull up a few message photos and show them to Julie, my MIL and FIL. My husband tries to gaslight me by saying that he admitted to talking to other women but he never slept with any of them. I really don't want to show them the video but I do find a few messages where my husband and a woman talked about their previous sexual encounters. My husband again says that he admitted to talking to them but never really cheated. He literally says "if the message talks about sex it was just role playing."
Roger (Julie's husband) goes over to my husband and jerks his phone out of his hand. My husband tries to get it back but Roger is 6'7 and my husband is 6'1 so he just holds it up where my husband can't reach. He asks me what his passcode is and I tell him. He then asks me where to find things and as I start to tell him my husband grabs his phone back.
At this point my MIL, Julie and Fran are all crying. Chris starts getting upset with me. He tells me this was not the time nor place to bring this all up and that I ruined Julie and Fran's first Mother's Day. Julie speaks up and says no, my husband is the one who ruined it. Chris starts yelling and saying that our personal business needs to stay private and that I had no right to bring it up to his family and ruin the only first mother's day the women will get. Fran agrees with him and tells me I'm definitely in the wrong for bringing it up, if it even is true.
At this point both of my twins start crying. I am not going to breastfeed them there and I want to get out of that house as quick as possible. I ask my BFF to take me home and we transfer the car seats from my husband's vehicle into his. My MIL follows me outside and says that Chris was right, I should have kept it all to myself and that now future Mother's Days will be a reminder of this fiasco for everyone. I just ignore her and put the twins in the car. My husband comes outside and asks if we can please talk. I tell him no, get in the car and my BFF, the twins and I leave. I end up feeling horrible and guilty that I let it all out to everyone.
My husband didn't come home and ended up staying at his parents house and has been there the past two nights. He got my FIL to come over Sunday evening and pick up clothes, toiletries, work stuff and various other items. While he was here I asked him, did I ruin Mother's Day? He tells me no that my husband did. He said that he asked me what was wrong and I was honest. He said he understood now why the "pretend like you love her" comment caused me to breakdown. I asked him about my MIL, Chris and Fran since I know Julie and Roger aren't mad at me. He said that they are still angry with me but they will eventually get over it.
TL;DR - I found out my husband had been cheating on me for at least 7 months with multiple women, starting while I was pregnant with our twins and continuing after I gave birth. I didn't tell him I knew for 2 weeks. At a Mother's Day cookout that his family hosted for his mother, me, his sister and sister-in-law, his mother made a comment that made me break down. I ended up telling everyone about the infidelity. His brother, SIL, and mother told me I ruined his sister and SIL's first Mother's Day. and that I shouldn't have said anything about the affairs.
Am I the AH?