Pre shool teacher recommendation letter

TW: Suicide, Mental Illness, SA, Porn Addiction, Abuse, Pedophilic Thoughts.
Hi, this post is going to be insanely long post as I am gonna go over a lot of things in detail throughout my life. I am going to premise this with a very important disclaimer: I am not looking to be the victim. I am not trying and do not want to make you feel bad for me. Things I saw will end up sounding like attention-seeking and victim mentality, but please know that no matter how much it sounds like that, that is not my intention. I'm basically going to go through my entire life story, so buckle up.
We'll start at the beginning of my life in 2005. I'm born and have an older sister, who is still my only blood sibling. At 3 years old I experience my first traumatic events that I can remember. I start hiding in the bathroom whenever my parents fight, and after a fight, I try lightening the mood by dancing in a goofy manner, but I end up falling and slashing a big hole in my knee and have to go to the hospital. At 4 years old my parents get divorced, and my dad moves in with his girlfriend. I vaguely remember crying as he took his last suitcase out the door. I also start pre school at this time, and my parents start realizing I have mental issues. I get tested and come up with ADHD and autism. I hate loud noises, get overstimulated, hate fire, and can be very irritable. At 5 I do my second year of pre school, because my parents feel I wasn't socially ready. I did competitive cherr with my sister which was fun, except for a mean teammate and an unsupportive father. At 6 I start kindergarten, and have more traumatic events. I doodle on my paper and get yelled at by my very menacing teacher, which just stuck with me for some reason as I am very sensitive to arguments and such. I start having my first memories of being abused by my mom. She wasn't beating me but she would slap me, grab me, push me, and she threw my sister down the hall one time. At 7, I have the same types of memories, but good ones too. My sister starts getting in on the abuse and hitting me too. Her and mom start fighting all the time. And this is where my first sign of real issues shows up. My aunt babysat me after school every wednesday whike my parents worked their jobs. I was scrolling on my old chunky laptop and came across it. Gay porn. It was two men on a bed doing some sort of act. Im confused but cant stop watching. My aunt eventually comes in and puts an end to it, berating me. But I start getting worse. I keep looking it up on my tablet and getting caught by my dad and mom, and even get caught looking up how to end myself. I get the same talk that it wasn't good or whatever. And one time, I even tried getting my 2 year old nephew to "lick it" because I didnt think there was anything wrong with that. The next few years, the same trends become increasingly worse, and my parents also gave up trying to get me to eat healthy because of my picky eating habits due to the autism. I became overweight and no longer did any sports. I have a few more traumatic memories of my mom hitting me or destroying my stuff and making me clean it up. My porn addiction becomes worse. I start getting exposed to things like incest and beastiality. I also start having my first experiences with pedophiles. I was taught by another kid how to masturbate on xbox. And got into a party with someone else. They were atleast in their mid to late teens and possible older. They convinced me to teach them how to masturbate aswell. My addiction got worse and I would masturbate multiple timed a day at a very young age. I started hiding things from everyone. I started actually being attracted to the incest porn I was seeing so often and got into the taboo of it. As I got older I started fighting with myself, begging myself to fix my issues before it became to late, but I didn't listen. I started hiding my porn addiction really well and kept letting myself get groomed. I would show myself to pedos on omegle because I thought it felt good to get the attention. A 16 year old told my 12 year old self to send a booty pic, and I did, but blocked him immediately after. When I got into 7th grade I also started getting corrupted by public porn, and started masturbating at school. I was being bullied for my weight, and being smelly by that point, and was just so fucked up and never got help. If I ever talked to someone, I'd just lie and water down so everyone would think I was fine. In 8th grade I got bullied really bad, but covid ended that early luckily. I never masturbated in class again after this. This is where it gets worse, again. I become so deprived of human contact and addicted to sex, that I start sneaking videos of my father in the bathroom after his showers. To note, I don't have an amazing relationship with him. He was always very intimidating and bad at controlling his temper. Never good at having conversations either, so I've since closed myself off to him. I kept taking pictures of him, and eventually, started sneaking pictures of people I found either attractive, or even people that didn't repulse me. This included strangers, classmates, teachers, etc. I started really internally fighting with myself at this point. I hated myself. Who I had become. I tried and tried to make myself stop and become healthier, working out, watching else porn, trying to delete pictures I took of others, but to no avail. I eventually on rare occasions, masturbated to beastiality porn. I always felt so disgusted before, during, and after. These always felt like intrusive thoughts that I was acting on, but I didn't know that was actually the case until much later. I also starting convincing my grandpa to show me what it "felt like" as a 15 year old, until at 17 in 2023, he eventually coerced me into doing it to him, which I can't tell if it's SA or a taste of my own medicine, since I was a minor. I'm gonna go back to 2022. My sister's husband, who I consider my only brother, committed suicide. I was devastated. All i ever wanted was a brother, but I decided it wasnt meant to be. A few months later, I saw a cute guy at a local fair near my house, and feel deeply in love. I didn't masturbate or even look at porn for an entire week. I could not think of him sexually at all. Until eventually, the effect wore out. I started becoming addicted again, and also became to overbearing to the guy I was in love with because I texted him too much. He was 28 and I was 17, and he had no idea I actually liked him. This crushed me too, and the school year started soon after. I started imagining him and his friends withbme wherever I went and stalked his page constantly. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Later on in thar school year, I fucked up with both of the friend groups I was in, and lost them all. The rest of the year passed by slowly, but it still ended up okay. Now onto this school year, my senior year. I come back to school and no matter what I do, I can't get myself to stop. And a few months into the year, I finally get caught. I get suspended and don't come back for a few days. I get bullied as expected and lay low. My mom takes my phone and deletes everything, and I eventually tell her most of what I've said here. I relapse occasionally and watch certain porn that I feel guilty about, or snap a pic of someone. Luckily, I finally deleted everything myself and never took a picture of someone or watched beastiality again, and will continue that path. My current consensus is that I'm a classic case of a kid who never had a support system, which led me to making bad decisions, and just never stopped and got worse. I also now have been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and depression. I was always big on recording and taking pictures of everything memorable, which contributed to this. I also have very intense intrusive thoughts which are still unmedicated. When I took that first picture of someone I thought was attractive, I felt disgusted with myself for months. But the thoughts got stronger and stronger, and I did it again to make them go away, until eventually they got more often and consistent. I myself don't want people to be uncomfortable. I hate people that do stuff like that, and I wouldn't wish the feeling on anybody. No matter how many times I tried to push the thoughts away, or stop what I was doing, I couldn't. I lost all self control. The good part of me wants to help people, make them feel safe, loved, and attended for, but that side lost the fight. My morals were completely washed away over the years as my thoughts worsened, and I kept doing what I could to appease them. I consider the thoughts another being inside of me. It's super powerful and no matter how much I try to push against it, it always wins eventually. I got prescribed meds and picked them up today to help with the thoughts, and I hope it works. I found out this is called Purity OCD, which is when you have intrusive thoughts, and eventually give in and act on them to get them to go away. I also have Brain Loop Syndrome, which is when you get into a bad behavior, and want nothing but out, and physically cannot do it. I also want to clarify again that I am not looking for sympathy. I'll take any questions or advice on where to go from here. I've been telling myself that I deserve to be tortured, raped, and killed, or to burn in hell if I end myself. Again, not for sympathy/victimization. People I've told about the situation in real life keep saying "well it's not like you committed a serious crime, lots of people are curious and many take pics but are afraid to admit it" but I feel like that doesn't make it any better?? It's still weird and wrong. But anyways, I'm open to any questions or comments about this, if you want to just comment "ky$" or "I hate you" I understand, it's totally valid. I just needed to say it, get some advice and answer questions. Have a good night ya'll.

last year I completed a bachelors in science, majoring in biology. For my final year, I spent time researching crickets and discovered I'm not too keen on the data analysis that comes with research. So I decided to switch paths - I love biology and science, but not the rigour and data collection of research. So I'm one semester into a masters of teaching - the goal was to become a high school biology teacher. But jesus fucking christ I cannot keep looking at random ass theories from 50 years before and I dont know if i can finish this degree / if teaching is worth it. Teaching (or work) isnt my passion, so i dont have major motivations to finish. What type of jobs can I look for with a biology degree? I dont have any experience in labs (eg internships or such) nor recommendations from past lecturers/tutors - and as i said, i'm not fond of data analysis (fake stem fan i know). Im from melbourne, australia! I was looking into working at national parks, field ecology, conservation, consultancy, lab assist/tech, botany, animal technician - but I just feel lost and I dont know what I'm qualified for. Is it worth finishing my masters if I'm not super keen?
sorry kind of a ramble post, but I'm really struggling and feel pressure to get started with a career - im 22 and still havent let university.

I’ve been on carnivore for about a month (more so considered keto bc I still eat cheese and avocado, nothing else tho)… but I’m noticing I’m not pooping as much or as easily as I was pre carnivore.. what do y’all recommend to help me clear out and stay regular? Do I need more fat in my diet?

2296, The scene is set in a post apocalyptic Mojave desert, 15 years after a joint effort of the New California Republic, the Rangers, and the mysterious benefactor of the New Vegas Strip, Mr. House pushed back an attempted invasion of the Mojave and a final battle was waved for control of the hydroelectric powerhouse, Hoover Damm.
In the aftermath, Mr. House was removed from power discreetly, due to the actions of a wasteland wanderer on a mission for revenge, known only as the Courier. Mr. House's iconic Lucky 38 casino opened its doors, for the first time, offering a single floor casino and bar, it's upstairs remained an exclusive and mysterious meeting place for the New Vegas Strip's elite. The Lucky 38 represented one of the cleanest, most secure facilities, protected, like the rest of the strip, by the Securitron Mk 2, predominantly. Their presence ensured visitors on the Strip behaved themselves, though the other casinos maintained their own security and 'house rules' internally.
The Strip defined and maintained its status as an independent entity, determining through the Courier's observations that the NCR was stretching it's military might too thin, and couldn't realistically manage over the Strip and Mojave, so a new deal was struck, similar to the prior, but with The Strip extending it's Securitron security to enforce the immediately surrounding communities and a few outlying satelites. Trade to the surrounding areas increased, the Mojave benefitting from the prewar tech, pre-programmed security forces. The drug addicted fiends and other Raider groups would never be any match for their advanced weaponry, and ultimately were cleared out of existence.
The King's continued to watch over Freeside, making alliances with the Follower's of the Apocalypse... their desire to service the needs of the belittled, disadvantaged and destitute lined up, and this is where Mr. Wolf found his place in the story... the Courier and a Follower's doctor found love in the wasteland.... and raised a child together under a Ranger's flag... 23 years later? This is New Vegas...
A handsome man in a leather jacket sat in a dusty leather booth watching one of the girls dance on a pole, shaking her ass as bottle caps clinked on the stage in front of her. It was a swanky post apocalyptic casino strip club. A man in a leather jacket stood nearby, his hands crossed in front of his chest, "Kings" embroidered across the back in silver letters. A waitress approached him carrying a glass of some amber colored liquor, and sat it down at the half moon table. She lingered a moment in her lacey body suit, following his gaze up to the girl rubbing her tits in some older cowboys face.
"You don't get jealous seeing her like that, Mr. Wolf." The girl bit her lip and met his eyes as he picked up his glass and swirled it before giving it a smell and taking a slow swig. He tilted his head looking her over. She couldn't possibly be older then 19. Tight, perky little thing.
Mr. Wolf smirked and shook his head. "I like her... nice and wet when she comes to my bed."
The girl blushed and bit her lip. "So you like to watch?" She surmised.
"I don't mind, but why do you ask?" Wolf had these intense eyes that shot arrows into your very soul. It made her incredibly nervous... but she found it deeply exciting at the same time.
"Well... I'm living in 206 now... maybe... you might stop by sometime and I could dance for you? I know I don't have her body but... if you wanted something that was a little fresher... something... just yours?" She figeted her fingers against the table.
Jason looked her over once more and smirked.
"Two-Oh-six, huh?" He tilted his head, considering.
She nodded.
"Leave your cum soaked panties on my doorknob one of these nights if you really need it and maybe I'll come see if you got the moves." His Texan accent was subdued, but enthrallingly charming with his confident, somewhat bored with reality overtones.
"M-my panties?" She stammered turning bright red. "On your doorknob?" Alexa couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"If you're gunna shoot your shot with a dom... with an alpha... you need to be willing to submit. If you can't do that... I'm not interested." Wolf shrugged, completely unphased.
"But what about... what if..." Alexa glanced at Laura, the clubs most iconic stripper in the club, perhaps even the whole Strip.
She was taking some NCR soldier to the VIP lounge for a private dance.
Alexa had been bold enough to offer herself but now she was feeling nervous. If Laura wanted her out, she could lose her job... her home.
"Oh she won't mind... if anything she'll want to watch." Wolf shook his head, sensing her anxiety.
"Assuming of course... she likes the way you smell... she's funny like that." Wolf let the conversation end and Alexa nervously retreated.
Wolf sat drinking by himself, but got bored.
"Jakey, go get yourself a drink and sit down, I'm bored." Wolf called to his body guard.
Jacob looked over and nodded, giving the lounge one last look around before approaching the bar and getting himself a mug of beer, from the tuxedo shirt and boytie bartender Gerald, and returning to the table.
"What's on your mind boss?" Jacob had his hair slicked back in the usual King's gang hairstyle.
"Heard any rumors lately?" Wold looked at him, taking a drag from his cigarette and flicking the pack over to him.
"Honestly, boss, aside from the occasional drunkard or fiend rolling through freeside, nothing out of the ordinary... well, except... a way's out.. the crazy lady... Gloria was swearing up and down she found a headless metal suit of armor.. said the Enclave would burn down New Vegas. God's wraith and all that, you know how she gets."
"Enclave?" Jason's attention was piqued.
"Yeah, I don't know, she was probably just in withdrawal from the Jet... said she found it in the hollowed out shell of the Super Duper, out by the old highway." Jacob shrugged and drank from his beer and pulled a cigarette from the pack.
Wolf finished the last drag of his own cigarette. "Has anyone validated her claims?"
"Well... no... but... I mean... you've met her, she sees things that aren't there, all the time." Jacob shrugged and lit a cigarette.
Jason squinted, considering the resident crazy ladies most recent half coherent ramblings.
"That's an oddly specific hallucination though....take a group of guys out there tonight... humor me, and make sure she's not right." Wolf lifted his glass.
"Sir?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, thinking surely this could wait until tomorrow.
"Hypothetically" Wolf pondered aloud, "If there was... for some reason, there in-fact was... a pre-war, piece of military tech out there....a T-45, let's say, or T-60, best case scenario? We want it. Even if it's not at 100% capacity? It's fusion core alone... could change up the game for Freeside, something like that could make our tiny little city independent. We wouldn't have to be reliant on the scraps of New Vegas, and forget about the Hoover Dam completely."
Jacob caught Mr. Wolf's drift.. a fusion core could mean producing its own, radiation-free water, it's own electricity.. not just a little, a lot. Powering long dead machines, not to mention the agricultural benefits... producing healthier, higher yield tobacco... expanding their income ten fold.
Jacob suddenly felt like he understood Mr. Wolf's vision for the future.
"I should... go and deploy the King's to investigate." Jacob concluded.
"I think that would be for the best, I can take care of myself here." Wolf waved Jacob off.
Jacob downed his beer and excused himself.
Wolf drank the rest of his whiskey, extinguishing his cigarette.
Laura, the dancer came up to the table, and Wolf motioned to the blushing new waitress for a round, who felt a twinge of jealousy seeing her crush with the most popular stage act in town. She bit her tongue though, bringing over two more heavy pours of whiskey.
Laura eyed the girl as she came and went.
"She likes you." Laura concluded as the waitress walked away.
"Yeah.. I think she does." Mr. Wolf shrugged, flicking her a cigarette.
"The NCR boy liked me." She giggled wiping a little bit of cum from her lips and used half her shot like mouthwash.
"Get anything out of him.. other then.. his seed?" Wolf sighed.
"Of course," She grinned mischievously, "Apparently there's been trouble out West with the Brotherhood. They had some type of skirmish? Apparently NCR lost? NCR was apparently holding some old world tech, I don't know, but apparently it lit up the west coast power grid, like... in it's entirely?" Laura tilted her head to look at him.
"The entire western power grid was lit up by a single piece of tech??" Wolf shook his head at the topless girl beside him.
"Yeah, I had to make him cum twice for more details, but apparently it's the size of a grain of rice, with quote, unlimited energy potential." Laura relayed the information. It seemed more important then a suit of power armor or its fusion core.
"Who else knows about this?" Wolf demanded with his eyebrows squinted against his eyes.
"Anyone with a functional light bulb for... like... three hundred miles?" Laura guessed with a shrug.
"You said... it was the Brotherhood that took the win on the skirmish?" Wolf clarified some details.
"Yeah... rumor has it they have a new up and coming knight that's making waves." Laura shrugged.
"Stay on the rumors... I need details." Mr. Wolf nodded at her, drank his whiskey and stood up, downing his drink.
An energy source that powerful would have a big effect on the balance of power in the Mojave. It could mean a resurrection of the New California Republic to it's former glory and then some, and potentially... might mean a renewed effort to reclaim the western part of the former United States, in time.

Baby boy was born at 36 weeks gestation a few days ago. He is in the NICU due to having a pleural effusion that seems to be clearing. He also has pulmonary hypertension but they hope no surgery is needed right now. He is stable and doing well in the NICU. He doesn’t suckle or eat on his own because he is learning to swallow and breathe. Things we take for granted. I feel bad for my wife because she was looking forward to experience being a woman and breast feeding him.
They no longer have him intubated just on oxygen with the canula at 2 liters so we are making progress. Blood work came back positive for trisomy21. Asked Doctor about a microarray but she said he doesn’t need one?that he as tri21? I thought there were 3 types from what I am learning online.
Can’t say my wife and aren’t a little scared and confused. I did sign up today for down syndrome network news letter. I guess I just don’t know where to start since we are embarking on this journey.
I hope to give him the best life I can. I know early intervention is important but what exactly does that entail? What therapies should I be looking for to begin with? What recommendations or resources?
My wife is grieving and so am I a little because he is our first and I guess we had so many ideas of our marriage having a little one that would be our legacy in terms of growing up and growing older, college, girlfriends, maybe marriage and children for him but now I see he may never experience some of those things and we should be counting our blessings.
I have so many thoughts in my mind like what kind of life will he have and be able to live? Will he live a long quality life? Will he have independence? I get worried about who will take care of him when we die as I am 38m and wife is 36f. Then I read that I can expect his life expectancy to be maybe 50-60’s years of age and that some DS people live till 70’s maybe.
I know I should just enjoy the moment now of him being a baby but seeing the videos on you tube and realizing how much time and effort he will need to thrive scares me because he just won’t have a typical childhood. But I will do my best to be strong and be there for him and I want to give him the best start and base possible to thrive.
I see there was an institute for people’s potential and also know I will need to sign up for all the therapies I can. I know also I need him to have great nutrition and healthy lifestyle so he can carry himself with it for as long as he can because after my wife and I are gone he will really have no one else besides maybe a few nephews and nieces. Do I need to set up a trust or anything like that now or accounts to grow so he will have something in the future to use?
Thank you for reading my grief and cries here. I appreciate your experience and expertise on what I can do to give my newborn baby boy the best quality of life he can have.

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss

S, I'm sorry I let 10 years go by, even if it's meaningless to you
Reposting my letters, to satisfy my own heart, to give it once last false hope that they might be found, before I fade away
Dear S.R.D.,
My once person, the love I had to walk away from, a memory lost, fading away.
My memory has always been a broken thing. A blessing, the gift of truly forgetting. A hard drive that pre-programed to wipe things past a certain point, a built in expiration date. A blessing in the ability to move forward, but a curse, when I don't want to let go. My long term memory is broken and always has been.
I hold on with all the strength I have. I replay memories weekly and daily in hopes that they will remain. But no matter the struggle, these thumbnails and Metadata in the cache, they mean nothing as the original files disappear.
I'm heartbroken, knowing that these pieces I held so dear will fade away, many already have. I'm filled with questions, grasping to keep you near. Were hyenas your favorite animal? Did you like the Ace of Spades best? Did I once buy you a stuffie? Was it a girrafe? Did you like the show Archer? Did we watch it at night together while I fell asleep in your arms? Did you help me create the tattoo I wear proudly over my shoulders? Did you prefer Joker and Harley.. or was it Ivy? Didn't you tell me all about it while you played with my hair? It's almost gone now...
You told me once about your gamertag, but I can't recall... You bared your heart to me about a childhood memory, but the details are gone... You smiled so vibrantly about your nephew but I don't remember why... Did you love me as fiercely and deeply as I believed, or have a been a fool filling in memory gaps with made of stories..
I want to ask you all these things. I want to hear you recount our time together so that I may keep your memory close with a new one filled with your soothing voice. But I have long since been forgotten, you have long since moved on and it is all in the past. It doesn't matter to anyone but me, no sane person holds on this long. It's not romantic or endearing, it's sad and concerning.
I can't ask you, and I can't ask anyone else. I can't even talk to anyone about any of this. So for tonight, in the quiet of this sleeping home, I will let my heartbreak and I will let the tears flow and I will grieve for all I am losing. And when eventually these last remnants fade away despite my fighting and holding on, there will at least be these letters to the void, proof that I loved a love that was deeper than love....
From CR.C.R., a beautiful disaster, a stupid and foolish human, a long forgotten memory, a trace from the edge of the abyss
Edit: I thought of another question, I felt the need to include above..

Stats/Demographics:
GPA: 3.81 UW 4.42 W
1520 SAT (720 English, 800 Math)
White Male
Middle Class
Colorado
Intended Major: Computer Engineering
16 APs (Major Specific I've taken AP Calc BC, Calc 3 and will take Linear Algebra next year, Physics 1 and taking C, Chemistry, and both Comp sci classes)
*I got a B in Calc 3 but an A in every other Math class.
Extracurriculars:
Passion Projects - Built VR Treadmill, Built PC, Made Projector TheateGame Emultation Setup, Flipped PCs and PC Parts on Ebay(I'm not quite sure how to write this on my app)
Student Council Member 4 yrs
Math Honors Society Founder and President - 3 yrs
Key Club Internation Founder and President - 3 yrs
Science Bowl Founder and President - 4 yrs
Science Olympiad Member and State Competitor - 3 yrs
National Level Soccer Player - Travel 5-9 times a year for academy games and showcases - 3 yrs
In-N-Out Employee - 2.5 yrs
Youth Soccer Referee - Travelled to ref national level tournaments
NHS Committee Chair, Youth Advisory Board Leader, Spanish Honors Society Member. Varsity Soccer Player, or Coding Club Member(I'm not sure what to put)
LORS:
Pretty Solid from my Math teacher I had for two years and started the Math Honors Society with
Really Good from my Spanish teacher that I ate lunch with to get better at spanish because I was behind after covid and after a lot of that and hard work became a top spanish student
Awards:
AP Scholar
Seal of Biliteracy
Local Math Competition
Varsity Soccer Letter all 4 yrs
All state honorable mention/team mvp/top goalscorer HS Soccer
Academic Letter all 4 yrs
NHS + MHS + SHS
ESSAYS:
Plan to write about my epilepsy and how learning about reading the brain waves during an EEG kickstarted my passion for computers and wanting to create hardware that could read and write directly to the brain.
P.S I'm genuinely unsure if I'm competitive or not, all the posts online are of these international students or minorities, but I'm literally just a dude who likes computers and school.
Will the B in Calc 3 be really bad for my application?
Other schools I'm applying to: Columbia, Washu Stl, Case Western, Cooper Union, Northwestern, UF, Georgia Tech, Co School of Mines

I have my first consultation tomorrow!!! I am so excited to get everything moving.
I have a lot of documentation for my insurance

• letter from chiropractor over a year period
• tmj clinical notes from specialist
• past treatments of accupunture/massage
• purchases to ease back pain
• photos of breasts

Any others recommendations to add for further proof?
Thanks!!!

Looking to buy a PC but not break the bank. I play a lot of call of duty, overwatch, rocket league currently and enjoy single player as well like elden ring and fallout. I’m not someone who needs the highest quality settings. I just want it to run the game without hiccups. And I’ve looked at so many different sites that sell them and it seems like around $1200 would be my cap. If under $1k is possible that’s great. I’ve seen a lot of pre built with a 4060 in it for around $900-$1000 but truly don’t know much of anything of quality for GPUs and all of that. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

I'm an untraditional student I graduated at 16 with my GED cuz my school sucked and didn't listen to my IEP, and then I went to community college with the plan of majoring in funeral services; but because for my knee surgery and i'm less of a fall risk I highly considering applying to a college for marine biology. What can i do to make my chances of being accepted higher?
• my grades in high school weren't so good cuz they sucked but great in community college
• i gonna take organic chemistry, bio, chemistry, pre-calculus, and calculus at my college for ease and to show i can
I never took my SAT (no senior year lol)
• cuz i didn't have my senior year i don't have a mid year transcript i think
• i also wouldn't know how to get my school counselor recommendation letter as it's been ~1.5 years or should it be my collage counselor
my dream school is William and Mary just in case for anything in or near VA with marine biology for applying just in case y'all need it would love advice!

I have seen some crossovers with Harry and Kantai Collection, but none of them have made him into a ship girl. The biggest one was Harry and the Shipgirls where he gets to live with a Japanese Battleship and a Abbles Princess as his sister. The close is Harm becomes a shipgirl. Others have him as a leader of something at Most.
This idea is that Lily did something to protect Harry as a child...the thing she did was an old way to summon ship spirits. She summons a ship spirit that combines with him. Somehow she summons the USS Milwaukee, the lead ship of her class from the American civil war.
Tunny not wanting to deal with Harry when she finds him on the doorstep sends him to live with an old family member that was both a wizard and in the US Navy. The year Harry gets his letter to Hogwarts, something happens to cause him to change and become a shipgirl. He gets the letter and somehow the return does not state about his sex change or that he changed his name. Since his guardians know about magic they do not need the teacher to visit. So no visit from Hagrid.
Due to her changes, she is also a very armed warship that someone gets listed as part of the US Navy, though she is a very outdated ship. The magical side of the navy where she does have some use at some point later in her life. The downside is that she now looks about 8 years old since most ships look like they are the age of roughly their weight. Since she was a lightweight back then she did get some bump in age to not look like a 5-year-old.
So on the train, everyone is looking for Harry Potter who should be a boy with dark hair and a scar and glasses. She is not one of those, and her crew offered the Dark Price of Tommy's loaded soul a choice when the change happened. Become part of the crew or get torn up. Well, it decided to join the crew and no longer can take over or deal with the real Riddle.
As she is the last student standing there for the sorting and no one knows who she is she hands Mrs. G the updated paperwork with her new name and everything about her which causes all kinds of chaos that night. She is now a girl and is now named Milwaukee Potter. She is also an A person from the States which causes all kinds of shit later down the road.
It soon comes out that she is a magical creature you could say and her crew hating to Snape. At some point, she asks in his insults if he is asking for War with her crew. He makes an offhand comment about yes....the gloves come off after that as the crew come up with new and fun ways to make his life hell with jokes and actions. Nothing that hurt him, just poke fun at him to hell.
She really does love to cruise the lake over the next few years which leads her to know every inch of the lake though.
Tommy tries to kidnap her to get the stone and gets run through by her guns and crew. She does not care about the challenge of the third level since she has a bunch of crew that keep her from doing dumb things at times.
2nd year, do you want to call the very armed ship a dark lord at all? As for the chamber and fighting the very big snake? Can you say boom from 4 11-inch cannons?
3rd year...Do you think some idiot is going to hurt me? I mean I have very big guns damn it. Besides, Black do you surrender to the US Navy since you did the crimes of trying to harm the ship along with Peter? There is nothing that Fudge can do since he does give up to a different government and the crimes against them are not active.
4th year. So you want me a ship to be in your game as a person from a different country? Things get very nasty when the Navy and government get into the mix, so so gets to be the rep of the US Navy in this whole shit storm. The dragon...no one said how to deal with it.....
The head will look very nice on her wall at home later. The Lake Challenge, She moves on top of the water to the village very quick cine she knows the lake inside and out. She sends some chibi crew as divers to get the people back and all four of them without a fight within 10 minutes.
As for the maze and the graveyard. The death idiots no stand a chance for some extra firepower she can bring to bear with the crew also acting as fire support for snipers.

My colleague of 20 years asked for a rec letter to advance to a leadership position. This is a highly coveted position deisgned for candidates who display strong emotional intelligence and growth in their career in social services.
This colleague's intuition was also paramount in spotting signs I was in a cycle of domestic violence and pointed this out- thus putting the wheels in motion for me to escape. Do I credit this in the recommendation?
I don't want to give the appearance of impropriety, but this person having the courage to speak the truth saved my life~ and probably countless others.
Thanks!

As a Canadian student applying to American schools through the AMCAS portal I was unsure about how the letters of recommendation work for each school.
Do my references need to upload them separately to each school through the portal or do they upload it once to AMCAS and AMCAS distributes it to each school.
I am just wondering as it would be easier for my references to only have to complete one submission (and easier to keep track of) rather than multiple.

I have a set of Ohm Walsh 2's that had not been utilized because of my other system and living space. Now I have the ability to set them up in a decent sized room 20'x20'. I have a pair of recapped Marantz MA500 monoblocks that are rated at 180W @ 4ohms. I purchased these because my Kenwood receiver was 80 wpc and I would like to have the Ohm Walsh recommended 125 wpc.
I would like a tube amp to run into the ss monoblocks. I know there are tube preamplifiers, but I also have my eye on tube amplifiers with pre outs. Would I be able to run a relatively low watt tube amp into MA500's?
For example. A 12 wpc tube amp into 180 wpc ss monoblock. Is that doable? I understand there is the issue of impedence matching between preamp and power amp. Assuming they are compatible, what else do I need to consider to have this setup work?
Also: I understand solid state is great. I have solid state gear. I understand there are better options than what I am aiming for. I understand that I can get a Sansui 9090 and be done with it. I have always liked tube preamps with SS amps, and am interested in taking that pairing to 180 wpc with omnidirectional goodness.
Thank you in advance