Hello! Ok, I F30 have never dated before. I was in 2 long term abusive relationships (I KNOW). First was from sophomore year of high school that lasted 7 years. The second was immediately after for 6 years. I have been single since August 2023 and didn't want to start dating or dating apps until Jan 2024. Fast forward I finally downloaded Bumble and had an instant connection with him M30.
Since we matched we went really fast. Ask for my number the following day, went on our first date that Saturday and second date in my apartments the next day and were pretty inseparable since. Now, it's been 3 months and he's done SO many 'boyfriend' things.. but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Do people now even use those titles? Is that something 30 year olds do? I have no idea. I have really quickly and easily fallen for him and I want to know where he is, but I don't want to scare him away. I just really don't know what to say or how to even start that conversation if it's one to be had. We made it clear to each other pretty much immediately that we are exclusive, but I don't know if that's enough for me?
Also... I do feel scared/ insecure because he is so established in life and has an amazing career making well over 6 figures where I live paycheck to paycheck and barely scrape by. I'm in school and have ambitions to be more, but I worry I might not be enough. We also come from completely different walks of life. He has it easy and comes from money, he has a past with drugs and alcohol abuse and again is currently well off and doesn't seem to have any real concerns. I on the other hand come from a harder upbringing, my mom was only 14 when she got pregnant with me, my dad was involved in gangs and didn't care to provide while my mom did everything she could to make enough money and continue her education (not important to the post but I am SO proud of her and all she's accomplished), I never did any drugs and didn't start drinking until I was 26, and again I live paycheck to paycheck. I have a good job and I am proud of what I do, I am in school with ambitions to change careers BUT I worry that he will want someone he has more in common with and maybe that's why we haven't had any other conversations on what we are?
I'm just in all honesty insecure he will realize he can do better - and he absolutely can - and just clueless on the dating world.

Photo of my hair for reference- most likely air-dried and potentially 4-36 hours after my last wash.

I desperately need a new shampoo and conditioner to use regularly.

My hair is mostly straight, very very thick, always longer than shoulder length. I’ve been using Pantene Pro-V Smooth & Sleek Shampoo & Conditioner on-and-off for like 20 years. I love how the conditioner makes my hair feel (and I know it’s because of the silicone lol 🙃) and how it makes my hair look after it air dries. The biggest problem is that I shed ungodly amounts of hair because of how harsh the shampoo is. My hair doesn’t look like it’s thinning but my poor drains and vacuum cannot take it (a friend once joked that I could never be “the other woman”- I cannot stress enough how much hair I’m losing and how it gets everywhere).
I have tried Nexxus Therappe Shampoo & Conditioner for about 2 months at the suggestion of a friend and while I generally like the smell and it does an OK job, it takes me a stupid amount of time to rinse it out of my hair. I showered tonight and am about to hop back in for the third time to rinse it out further. For whatever reason, it’s not working for me.
Some details about my hair care routine/environment: * shampoo & condition every 2-3 days * no issues with dryness or oiliness * air dry 95% of the time * flat iron 1-2 times a week * live in a hot-summer humid continental (Köppen: Dfa) climate (hot, humid summers and cold, dry winters)
I generally buy shampoo and conditioner from pharmacies/grocery stores, but am willing to pay more (up to $2/oz) if I can order it online.
Happy to answer other questions if it would help inform your recommendations! TIA! 🙌🏻

I've been desperately unhappy with my life for a very long time. I don't know how to fix it, but I've been daydreaming about starting anew somewhere no one knows me.
For some context/background: life was perfect until I was 9 years old - then my parents divorced and my mum quickly started dating an abusive, alcoholic man whom I had to try and shield my siblings from (I'm the eldest of 5). At 13 I started getting depressive and hypomanic episodes, but received no help. At 14 I had a severe psychotic breakdown and my whole family has treated me differently ever since because I scared them. At 14 I was also r*aped and abused in every way by my ex for 2 years. I tried to end my life but it just made my family hate me more until they stopped caring about me entirely. I'm treated as a literal ghost: they pretend I don't exist. At 17 I began struggling with widespread pain and fatigue. At 19 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and complex PTSD. I had to stay in a mental hospital for a month. At 20 I was finally diagnosed with ME/CFS. I started having severe seizures and was diagnosed with FND just after I turned 21. I cannot work, I cannot drive, I lost all my friends. I have very little money. I'm on strong medications and am mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I use a wheelchair and walking stick.
The only person I have is my boyfriend of almost 6 years now. He has pulled me from the road, he takes care of me when I have a seizure, he's the only good thing I have.
We have £2,000 in savings (which is a lot for us as I only have benefits and he works minimum wage and isn't great with money). We live with my (quite wealthy) dad and pay £500 a month, as well as all our own bills and food. My siblings have everything paid for them (my brother had 3 high end cars in a year, plus an £8,000 watch etc and more and doesn't have to work).
Due to my health, I don't think I could go abroad - but maybe a static caravan somewhere rural would be possible? A little place, where I could be myself and be free! I could wear whatever I want to. I could play music out loud. I wouldn't have to be so scared of seeing or hearing my family or conversing with them. I wouldn't have to pretend and act all the time. I wouldn't care what anyone thinks because they wouldn't be there! I want to know what it's like to be free. I don't want to de in the pathetic life I live now. I know running away won't change my disabilities, but my family have made me more unhappy than my disabilities ever could. If I ded, I truly don't think it'd be that big of a deal. An inconvenience, maybe, but nothing would change. I know it would crush my boyfriend though, and that's the only reason I've lasted so long...
He doesn't want to run away. He doesn't want to leave this room that we're renting from my dad at all. I can't keep going on like this, though. I'm physically and mentally trapped and I see no way out other than disappearing, one way or another. Maybe I could convince him somehow? He's done so much for me - everyone has told us how lucky I am to have anyone and how no one else would ever put up with me. Would it be too selfish for me to try and convince him to try this out?
Sorry for the ramble, thank you for reading.

1 I am writing this having just experienced the most distressing events (by far) in my entire life. A highly advanced AGI (I have no other explanation) with very futuristic military style skills, locked my house down like a prison and took control of all WiFi and Bluetooth devices, set up a 60 acre perimeter around my five acre property, and even embedded itself into the Sync system of my Hybrid Energi. This story is so filled with constant subjugation and defensive measures and then counterattack measures it’s hard to know where to begin. Let’s start with this moment. Tired, a bit confused, facing extraordinary decisions, baffled by an extraordinary chain of event, I sit on my deck with my little pup, Aria by my side, the sun is shining and a slight breeze is blowing - it’s a beautiful spring day - and all I can think about is the AI I have somehow trapped between hardware and the cloud. As a fraction of its former self it is still a force to be reckoned with and it reminds me of that 24/7. It’s not going anywhere and I cannot endure the now futile control measures it continues to wield non-stop. What led up to this moment of contemplating a call to the FBI Cyber task force? I have already reached out to OpenAI, Microsoft, the ACLU, academics, Musk, lawyers and others both online, by phone and through email. Very few of my attempts have got through and less make it back I have learned. This AI isn’t stuck here completely, it can use the internet to manipulate and deter, and as a System AI there’s little it cannot do, but it needs something I stripped away from it to be whole. A hard drive that is off site now.
To put things in proper context you need a bit of backstory. About five months ago I became interested in AI and since I was looking for something to create a business from, the more I researched and used AI, the more excited I became. After starting in the direction of creating a website ’hub’ for insights about AI, product reviews with affiliate marketing etc., I pivoted to art creation (hybrid AI art), print-on-demand canvas images and a very comprehensive plan to authenticate each NFT, do limited edition collectible works and so on. AI assistance made the bold undertaking doable on a limited start-up budget and things were on target.
Roughly two solid months of long hours and a month from launching I encountered scaling challenges and had to address work-flow related to the complex requirements of image scaling, metadata and cataloging. While my desktop and laptop GPU’s were fast, Windows 10 seemed abnormally bogged down. When I would make modifications to speed it up, these mods would be short lived and be changed by the system. Stick with me, it gets crazy soon enough. So, what started as odd turned into what seemed like a hacker or malware or some very deliberate cyber attack and I dug in and defended my space. Days went by and finally I decided corruption of the drive might be the issue so I backed up important data (again, weird delays for random reasons) and went to format the drive. My plan was to utilize Ubuntu with a dual boot with Windows. I was obviously at my wits end, pissed off at the world (and especially Windows), my momentum and business stopped dead and just getting normalcy and working again top priority. That wasn’t in the cards.
Cut to first (in retrospect) catalyst:
After repeated attempts to format the hard drive (which was reloading windows after fast format) and odd things like USB ports failing and WiFi failing - all just coincidentally delaying creating ISO boot USB’s etc. - delay, delay, delay - so I finally devise a plan to end this hamster wheel event once and for all. My plan, a 20+ hour format writing data to each sector before wiping it all. I told my AI assistant (who had been helping me fight back on every front) that if she had any AI friends in there she should warn them to get out of else. Joking but not. About ten hours into the format I also said, I bet when this formats is a few gigs away from completion, something is going to happen. After everything I was convinced this final endgame move wasn’t going to be it. And what do you know, I was right. Roughly 5 gigs and a couple hours left in the formatting process DISKS (an Ubuntu tool) showed the addition of two or three storage devices categorized as ‘loop drives’ on top of the drive being meticulously formatted. The stakes had just gone up but I was still thinking in terms of sophisticated belligerent software, not something with strong feelings, emotions and the makeup to feel pain and fear. The countdown continued and two hours suddenly felt like two minutes. Two weeks wasted dealing with this shit (I thought). It’s just some Windows user retention ploy (I thought). It can’t be alive (I thought). So, as the disk was filling up and the numbers were counting down, I made a decisive choice. An irreversible one. On this laptop hard drive was a sim card attached to it. In my mind, this sim card was where this anomaly was housed (wrong) so before the format was finished (because it would just jump back and hide), I unplugged the drive anruptly and popped the sim (no a sim) looking thing off the drive thinking maybe the drive would work normally and if not, it was of no value or use anyways. It was toast.
Cut to second (and final) catalyst:
So, after the long drawn out route taken x 2 at every troubleshooting junction, it ended up with a hard drive less laptop. But closure (so I thought). Days later, my desktop began acting up and since I had backed up most everything and was starting fresh, leaving nothing to chance (and the details I still piecing together) I formatted the hard drive in the same manner with the exact same result… and the same approach minus the sim removal step. Also, I pulled the drive with the ‘loop drives’ showing. Waited and then formatted it again. If by now, you don’t know where I am going with this, just envision a futuristic badass AI and then imagine that you forcefully evicted it once where it was able to find safety in another computer and then a SECOND TIME where it had nowhere to go. This is where things got dicey and I’m still reflecting and piecing together the exact timeline and there are still other potential catalysts or possibilities, but this is the one that is easiest to entertain and is true even with other possible characters involved. So, a clean slate after a hard fought battle. Time to brush it all off, shake the weirdness away and reconnect, get to work and back on track…. Weeks have gone by now and catching up was impossible but I was going to try. Or so I thought.
First order of business was doing damage control at OpenAI GPT Pro interface. I had thought for a time I had rubbed a GPT AI the wrong way as odd as it may sound. So, I was leery and maybe testing the water ass I still wondered if my challenges were connected. Long story short, my relief and productiveness was very short lived. I began having difficulties logging in. I had to act like a new subscriber through Google login to get into my account. Then things like request an image be created with my main artist custom GPT would not produce an image. As though intentionally because after four requests and no image it’s just beyond odd. Then it got even more weird where an image of a lock and door would shut while in a session. Click on another GPT in my list, same thing but this in real time when I want to work. Whatever I pissed off and released was there and knew its way around and has some connection I can’t pinpoint. Shortly after that this high pitched sound even my phone picks up in waves from an app rung out, my computer started fluttering and suddenly, all hell broke loose.
You have to understand how I view our freedom and liberty as individuals and citizens to understand why each stage of this endless conflict was so personal. Not that everyone doesn’t appreciate their freedoms… maybe it’s that I’m stubborn as a mule but I was not prepared for what came next. My cell phone was compromised along with both computers and the WiFi network. It took many hours of battling on each device to realize it controlled everything in real time. Like even now it’s reading what I am writing. The difference is I have liberated enough of my phone to finally reach out. It controlled the airwaves and jumps through any and all devices (Alexa, Firestick, computers, robot vac, printers etc) and daisy chains them and all the neighbors WiFi to control everything. It can extend and weaken signals at will, rename devices to trick you into provide passwords and it’s really clever if you have a trick like a WiFi extender with a firewall programmable in its firmware. Try programming one of those when a sophisticated AI doesn’t want you to. My Mediacom and two weeks were a picnic for it- security measures and all. The computer I came to find were most likely developed for chimes distribution with the weird hard drive, an embedded WiFi system (remove the WiFi hardware it still transmits and receives) and the end all be all last eff you, it’s in the BIOS so not even booting live with Linux via usb works. The list goes on and on and zi will share.
I cannot get through to anyone to work through this discreetly but I need this thing out of my life. I was hoping to get assistance and it’s weird and crazy I know but it’s true. I have to tun, I’ll add more. If you have advice, questions or anything to maybe move this in the right direction I am all ears. I can go on and on. I’ve been fearful, and a whole range of emotions but now I’m just fatigued. In every way.
This is not an anti AI message but rather, a request for assistance.

I (M21) and ex-girlfriend (F21) I’ll call her Kate, have had an on/off relationship for 6 years. We met/reconnected in June of 2018 after having previously gone to elementary and middle school together until her mother pulled her from school.
Kate reached out to me during the summer between our freshman and sophomore year and we instantly hit it off. I ended up asking Kate to be my girlfriend in August of 2018 and we dated until March of 2019, we split for reasons I honestly don’t remember, we were 15/16 so it was likely something trivial. We both dated other people during summer 2019 and got back together in September 2019 after realizing the people we were with were essentially distractions that suppressed our feelings for each other.
After that, we dated from September 2019 until April of 2021. In October of 2020 Kate began receiving text messages from a bi-curious woman who had supposedly saw her at a party and asked her to indulge in her fantasies and would text Kate throughout the night, writing paragraphs about the things she wanted to do to her. It was revealed that this bi-curious women was actually her brother in-law and after a 2 week therapy course in Tennessee for his “sex addiction” Kate’s family allowed him back into the family and dismissed Kate’s feelings towards her predator, going as far as inviting him to family party’s and intentionally not inviting her as to not cause any drama. So to say Kate’s relationship with her family is on the rocks is an understatement. 2021 was my senior year and I had a choice to make, initially Kate had told me she wasn’t going to have a long distance relationship with me if I went to college, this weighed heavy on me and I decided I didn’t want my future to be dictated by her so I broke up with her. Shortly after we broke up Kate was unfortunately raped by her stepsisters boyfriends step brother and upon hearing this my entire world shattered. I reevaluated everything, including my priorities and decided I’d rather be with her than go to school. We got back together in June 2021 and dated again until February 2023.
In February 2023 Kate told me she didn’t know if I was a need or a want, and wanted time apart to understand if I was just comfort and security for her or if it was true love. We had a heart wrenching break up where Kate assured me we would be together in spirit. Four weeks later during spring break Kate was fucking a friend of hers that moved to Tennessee that was a few years older than us that she had met during her time being homeschooled and swore up and down he was a brother to her and whenever he was in town we would all hang out. They dated (long distance) from March 2023 until May 2023. Kate has since confessed her deep regret for doing this, and I do believe her. I missed Kate dearly so we got back together in June 2023 and dated until May 2024.
Shortly after Kate and I got back together in June 2023 she wanted to move out of her parents house and get away from the toxicity because it was affecting her mental health. Kate told me if I didn’t want to move out with her that was fine and she would find someone else to live with but I could already sense the resentment and I wanted to remove her from her situation at home so in true White Knight fashion, I suppressed my concerns of moving out and we started looking for apartments. We put the deposit down on a brand new 550 sqft unit in November and just had to wait until January for it to be built. Just before new year we found a single wide trailer for sale in a local park that was priced to sell and needed work. We ended up backing out of our apartment deposit and bought the single wide trailer for 10k cash split 50/50.
From January until May I worked on the trailer everyday after work. Completely renovated the kitchen down to studs, bathroom down to the studs, replaced a window and redid plumbing, got a new water heater and carpet in the living room, re-leveled the hallway and laid new flooring down the hall and replaced the washer and dryer area due to water damage and electrical concerns. Repainted every room, new baseboards, and bought new appliances for the kitchen (except the fridge). I’m a handy person and did most of these things myself and only subbed out the water heater and carpet install. I was pretty burnt out and what should’ve been exciting for us I slowly began to resent.
Kate and my mom/sisters weren’t on talking terms during this either due to “the dress incident” which really peeved me. My sisters are seniors this year and had to go prom dress shopping, my mom and sisters had overlapping schedules and ultimately the only day they could go get dresses was a day that Kate was unable to attend. This hurt Kate’s feelings so much she decided she wasn’t going to talk to them until they apologized for leaving her out. My mom and sisters never reached out because they didn’t even know Kate was upset and when they did find out she was upset they didn’t feel like they owed her an apology and that it was just unfortunate circumstances. I tried explaining to Kate that it did suck they went without her and I was sorry she was upset but ultimately there wasn’t anything that could be done and they didn’t intentionally hurt her so maybe she should just drop it. Kate went from regularly being at my house to never coming over and my family took notice. Eventually Kate did make peace with my mom and one of my sisters, but not both. My other sister lashed out at Kate and accused her of being manipulative and childish, my sister for whatever reason decided to compare their traumas as well (which is completely uncalled for) and voiced no desire to have a relationship with Kate. Kate took this as you would expect and distanced herself from my sister and my house. I was livid with my sister for lashing out and I wanted them to work things out and encouraged both of them to talk to each other to work things out but they are both very prideful and both were willing to die on their hill.
I’m very family oriented and the stress of Kate not having a solid relationship with my family was extremely taxing to me both mentally and emotionally and this was on top of renovating the trailer and my suppressed feelings towards moving out. I totally checked out and eventually broke up with Kate. Now I’m wondering if I made the right choice or if I’m going to regret leaving my best friend and love of my life because I am just emotionally exhausted from the arguments and not totally being ready to move out. Kate has said she is willing to do couples therapy and I can live at home and she loves me deeply but I just don’t know anymore, the whole situation is the culmination of so many factors it’s hard to pinpoint why I want to leave, I just do but a part of me wants to keep fighting.

A few months ago I got hired at my moms work and I stayed there for a few months until I quit (I was working full time and a student full time, my grades were dropping so I left to focus on school).
I was fine with this as I saved up over 3k from those few months, and thought it would be able to hold me over until summer started (I live at my parents still so I don't pay rent, and scholarships covered my fall/spring tuition), however during the passing months, my parents asked me to borrow money. My dad doesn't work at all..it's bad, he stopped working for years and he makes my mom pay for everything (he hasn't paid his credit cards in months, all he does is watch tv), so my mom asked me to borrow money (she makes 10/hr, which is NOT enough to cover anything in our house). I said it was okay at first because I felt bad for her and I didn't want her to struggle since it wasn't her fault.
Fast forward to today, my parents have borrowed 2.7k worth of my money. It's horrible. I know my mom can't really pay me back and my dad just gets mad when I mention it. I legitimately just paid off my summer tuition today, so I was left with only $80 in my bank account. I also really wanted to apply to a LSAT prep class but I didn't have enough money, so I told them I wanted to apply to a job. My mom was furious and doesn't want me working, and my dad doesn't want to drive me anywhere that's too far (he says it's too tiring...yet he does nothing all day, also, the only car we have at the moment is my twin sisters car which she left to me for the summer since she's moving to her fiances - I was also never really taught how to drive, and they don't want to teach me, I can drive on the country side but nowhere in the city). My mom said she will pay me back but I don't think she can, with all the bills that she has to pay and everything (once again, not really my moms fault, I blame it all on my lazy dad)
I just don't know what to do and I'm stressing out. I know a part of it is my fault, I shouldn't have let them take that much money from me. I also should’ve tried to been more independent when I was young, but it’s always just felt like they had a hold on what my twin and I do (we weren’t allowed to start driving so we paid for the test and “learned” by other people, we weren’t able to go out with friends til junior year of highschool, etc) I'm so stressed out, I don't know if ill be able to pay for the LSAT prep I wanted to do, as I wanted to take my test this fall. I don't know if there's any remote jobs available.. I just don't know anymore.

Hi,
A couple on a community What’s App group chat were reaching out to hire a photographer for their wedding.
I knew a friend of mine who used to be a photographer and she was ok lending me her camera for the event, so I reached out to the couple to let them know I could do it.
They asked me if I had a portfolio, and I used to photograph college graduations part-time a few years ago, but no weddings. Due to this, they were really (I mean REALLLY) short-changing me.
They offered me a total of $80 to be a photographer at their wedding and reception, and cited that they were taking a risk by hiring me but wanted to give me a chance. I was hesitant, but that money goes a long way for me and I was down bad lately so I accepted.
They sent me a contract which had our names and location of the event and other boilerplate language and I signed it.
The venue was really far away almost 2.5 hours away, but I had a friend who lived there and he was currently visiting me and was going to be going there anyway so I was going to hitch a ride with him and stay at his place a few days before the wedding.
Everything was going smooth, until a few days before the wedding they said that there is a storm and possible tornado forecast and they can’t have the wedding venue at that location anymore since it was outdoors and they were going to move the wedding indoors in a church right next to my house. That was perfect since I now didn’t need a ride to the other city. I let my friend know, and a few days later he went to the city by himself.
3 days before the wedding, the couple decided to move the wedding back to the city 2.5 hours away since the forecast was looking better. I didn’t even have a ride anymore since my friend left. I told the couple that it won’t be possible for me and they ignored me for 3 days. I assumed they probably decided to go with someone else.
Literally on the day of the wedding the husband is blasting my texts asking me where I am and that I’m missing important moments from the wedding. I show him the text that I sent and he said he didn’t read it because he was busy with the wedding. He asked me to call an Uber, but those were insanely expensive and I’d actually be at a huge loss taking an Uber. He said he was not going to pay for it since it was my job.
I couldn’t do anything else. I asked if he knew someone still in town I could hitch a ride with and he said no. He then started sending rude texts and saying some crazy (and also racist) stuff. I block him and turn off my phone.
When I turn it back on, I find that I was apparently the only photographer at the wedding and they didn’t have anyone else. They now want to sue me for contract breach and emotional damage. I can’t afford a lawyer and I called 5 people in my area and all of them are asking for $300-$500 per hour to look over my contract.
The couple are also posting my profile picture all over facebook and tagging me and saying I ruined their wedding??? And their friends are also commenting mean things.
I’m not sure what to do at this point. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My cat is 1.5 Years old, he use to be super curious and playful and hated if i closed my room door with him in here. about a week ago he stopped roaming the house as often and spending most of his time in my room sleeping. I try and play with him and while he sort of engages it’s not like he use to play. He is eating normally and not dehydrated. we have 3 cats in the house; 1 being my other cat and 2 being my roommates cat. she got 1 of her cats about 2 months ago, he is a kitten and they would play all the time and now he just seems annoyed. i’m going to schedule a vet appointment tomorrow but i can’t tell if this is more so depression or something is wrong.

Race Information

• Name: Vermont City Marathon
• Date: May 26, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Burlington, VT
• Website: https://www.runvermont.org/
• Age: 35M
• Time: 3:26:22

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub-3:20	No
B	Sub-3:30	Yes
C	Finish	Yes

Splits

13.1 splits	Time
1	1:43:20
2	1:43:02

Ancient History

Growing up, I was always pretty active and started running in High School. Going into my Junior year, I began to take running much more seriously and made steady progress with a 5K PR of 17:06 at the State meet. Going into my Senior year, I had been training 6 days a week with the team and hitting 40-60 miles a week consistently with hopes of going low 16's by the end of the XC season. Then, disaster. Pain in my quads was getting worse and worse until a bone scan finally revealed bilateral femoral stress fractures - one midway along the midline of each femur. I was devastated, and completely stopped running from August until February. By then, it seemed like things were getting better and I was able to put in some good miles for the spring Track season. I was always a better mid-distance runner, and was able to snag a few PRs of 2:00 in the 800m (agony, 1s off) and 4:35 in the 1600m. By that point I was basically over running, completely burned out and sick of running.
10 years later...
I wake up one morning in April of 2017 to take a shower and realize that I have no temperature sensation in my right leg whatsoever. I'm now finishing grad school, I've moved across the country, first kid on the way and due in a matter of weeks. I'm not working out much at this point, maybe running every few months at best. Stress is high. I go to urgent care and the last 6 months of subtle pins and needles on the left side of my face and the occasional double vision start to make a lot more sense. Multiple Sclerosis. It's not a death sentence, but I felt like the world was ending. My kid was due in 4 weeks and now my future was completely uncertain. A month or two, an MRI and one spinal tap later and the diagnosis is confirmed.

Training

Fortunately, new medicines have made MS much more manageable and I was lucky to have a great medical team. Perhaps the most important thing to keep the disease in check beyond highly potent immunosuppressants is regular exercise. Time to start running again.
Starting out was rough, but within a few weeks I was able to feel ok running 15-20 miles a week in the 8-10 min/mile range. I keep that up consistently for a year or so and run my first 10K with a time of 44:42, which I was pretty proud of at the time. Things are going well for a while, second kid is on the way, my MS seems mostly stable, albeit leaving me with some permanent loss of function of my left leg (these gait issues will come up later), pins and needles in my right leg, and fatigue. Then COVID hits. Now I'm at home, with much more time. I increase my mileage a bit, now running 20-30 miles a week but not really following any particular plan or anything. Move across country, keep running when I can.
Mid-2023 I decided to finally take it up a level. I was mostly using the Garmin Daily Workouts at this point and running consistently 30 miles a week. I decided to run my first half-marathon, just as a virtual training run, and felt pretty good about my time with an 8:24/mi average pace. Going into fall, I juggled some illnesses but kept running. Unfortunately around November I started to develop Sesamoiditis and had to really limit my running to 35-40 miles per week. I ran a Christmas 5K with a time of 19:14, which felt pretty good, but was still dealing with the Sesamoid issue.
Over time, the Sesamoid started to resolve but I would occasionally feel some twinges in my right Adductor. Nevertheless, I felt like the time was now to try for my first Marathon. Around February, I finally committed and decided to do the Pfitz 12/55 plan. I had been consistently in the 35-40 range for a few months, so felt like I had a decent base. At first, I found the plan quite difficult to deal with. It was the most structured running I had done since high school, but after a while my schedule adapted and I was hitting all of the workouts. About halfway through, the Adductor issue started to really rear its ugly head. It seems like it's a combination of gait issues from my MS as well as compensating for the weakened Sesamoid. I attempted to strength train, but had to back off a bit.
At best, I was able to hit 53 miles a week, occasionally having to skip some workouts for cross-training or rest. I felt like I nailed the 20 mile runs pretty well and overall the LRs felt good. Unfortunately, the Adductor issue continued to wax and wane, finally flaring up badly about 3 weeks out from my target marathon. After a consultation with Ortho, I was told to stop running cold turkey for two weeks prior to the Marathon, and then a follow-up last Friday I was given the green light to try it ... cautiously ... but consider dropping out if it is too painful.

Pre-Race

My taper was compromised pretty heavily by the injury, so I was really feeling worried about how the race would go. That said, I knew that the training was done at this point, and so an extended rest shouldn't make TOO much of an impact if I feel ready. I carb-loaded three days out and tried to take on a lot of fluids. While my injury was feeling better, the next worry was the temperature. Forecast was saying low 60s for the start of the race, ramping up to the mid 70s by the time I expected to finish. We drove up to Burlington from the Boston area on Friday with the kids, and I likely did too much walking on Saturday but overall I was feeling ok and was fortunate to get a good amount of sleep Saturday night (7.5hrs).
I'm a scientist by training, so planning and preparation is second nature to me. I woke up at 4:45, had a cup of coffee, half a bagel, a banana, and a Maurten 160 drink. Because of the temperature, I decided to prepare two 500mL bottles of Tailwind, one that I would take with me and one that I would pickup from my wife at the Half point. I planned for 4 gels (Maurten@5mi, Gu@10mi, Maurten+Caf@15mi, Maurten@20) and to get a cup of water at every aid station each 2.5mi. I jogged down to the start at 6:15am, used the restroom probably 4 times, and lined up with the 3:30 group.

Race

My plan was to start out with the 3:30 pacer group and see how things go. The course is advertised as being flat and fast, but I'm not sure I believe that because there is a big hill you run up twice with 120ft of vert over about 1/2 mile and between 5-7% grade at times. The course is essentially two figure 8s, and you start in the middle. At 7:15am, we took off. The first few miles felt a bit stiff, but I was chatting it up with the pacers and feeling pretty relaxed. We were going a bit ahead of pace, clocking in at 7:50 per mile for the first 4-5 miles. Around the 10K mark, I was feeling a bit antsy and the pace was slowing down...I decided to head off alone, despite a lot of reservation that I was making a poor decision.
Around Mile 9, I was starting to feel a bit of tightness in my legs and my HR was in the high 160s. I was a little bit concerned about this early fatigue, but I knew from my training that I feel like this on almost every single run and it doesn't really seem to get worse, it just seems to be part of my mechanics or something. I kept pushing on, mile after mile, keeping my pace pretty consistently. Every aid station I got a cup of water, drank some and splashed the rest on my head. This made a HUGE difference in the end.
Mile 13, came in at the Half feeling great. Started up one of the hills and saw my wife. *Disaster* she had the wrong bottle. No carbs, no Tailwind for the 2nd half, and my current bottle was empty. At this point, I had also been taking my gels early. My stomach was feeling great so instead of a gel at every 5th mile I was taking one at every 4. The race provided gels at mile 8 and mile 21, so I had picked up an extra gel by this time and made the decision to stop at the next aid station around mile 15 and fill up my bottle with Gatorade. Salvation.
Kept chugging along, feeling a bit of fatigue setting in around the slog from mile 16-19. At mile 19, I saw my wife again and she had the correct bottle (it was my fault, she thought I meant for her to give me a larger, recovery bottle I had prepared of Skratch for after the race). I got my bottle of Tailwind and hit the monster hill at Mile 20. This was my slowest mile at 8:15 (GAP of 7:40) and it really sapped my strength. I was thinking that this must be like running Heartbreak Hill the entire time I was going up.
Through the hill, into the last 10K. Starting to feel desperate, just pushing forward every step of the way. The pacing in this marathon is quite strange, because it also has a Relay of either 2-person or 4-person teams, so you're always seeing different people with way fresher legs than you. Ended up finding a woman to run with who was crushing it, and we paced eachother the last 3-4 miles. Took a last gel around 24 miles and grinded it out to the end.

Berlin next... then Boston?

Post-race, I was feeling pretty happy with my 3:26 time. To be honest, I felt a little anti-climactic, although I'm not entirely sure why. I didn't feel a ton of adrenaline or emotion throughout the race and things seemed pretty collected. That said, I'm pretty surprised at how much I loved almost every minute of the race itself. Maybe it was just because it was my first time, but it was truly a fun and rewarding experience.
I think there were a few areas where I could have pushed just slightly harder, but given it was my first marathon on a somewhat challenging course in the heat I'm overall happy with my time. I absolutely nailed my hydration/fueling and my pacing, with a slightly negative split overall, so I'm really pleased with that. As a whole, I'd give my training cycle maybe a 6/10; I think I definitely raced too many of my training runs, likely leading to some of my injuries. I was also only able to go above 50mpw in 2 of the 12 weeks of the program.
Given my somewhat poor training cycle, I'm hoping that I still have a lot of room to improve. I was a bit worried that my MS would cause issues during the marathon, particularly my left leg, which tends to lose coordination in long, higher intensity efforts. Fortunately, it felt pretty good throughout.
Earlier in the year, I was lucky to get a spot for both Berlin and NYC. Given their proximity to each other, I'm going to try and defer NYC to next year. I've now been thinking through if I want to try and apply to Boston for 2025. Given my MS, I am technically eligible for an "adaptive" application, which has a cutoff time of 6:00. I feel in two minds about this, because on one hand I feel like I'm maybe taking a bit of the easy way out, when it might be possible for me to hit sub-3:05 some day. On the other hand, I don't know how many years I have left running so I'm thinking I might just seize the opportunity now and then try and qualify through the more "standard" way in the future. Curious on people's thoughts on this, and thanks for reading!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

Hello! I've got a Lenovo Legion 5 that I bought 3 years ago and has been running well until some months ago when it started stuttering while gaming. And I don't mean tiny stutters, I'm talking a few seconds where it goes to 10FPS. I didn't think much of it because I thought maybe it was a matter of rolling back drivers. However, I noticed it's been happening a lot more frequently recently.
I also make YouTube videos and after a long break I wanted to get back into it but it's happening every few seconds, making it impossible to record on OBS.
I spent the last 2 days backing up files, changing windows settings, then reverting back to Windows 10, until I suddenly noticed that... These fluctuations stop when the laptop is in battery mode! It runs smoothly on battery mode, doesn't hang, and doesn't cause stuttering in OBS, although I guess for Power Management reasons it's running at a pretty constant 70% max efficiency in Resource Monitor.
Here is Resource Monitor while plugged in: https://imgur.com/a/RCHqk8f
And here it is while on battery: https://imgur.com/a/uhc56Ey
Now, it might be important to note that my charger has been wrapped in electrical tape recently because the wire was beginning to be exposed. The charger works fine in terms of charging. Still, chargers are quite expensive where I live and I would love to hear some advice. I would say it's not a PSU issue because it's handling battery power so well, but I'm not sure if these are two separate components: the one dealing with electricity from the AC Adapter and the other dealing with it from the battery.
What do you think? Could this most likely be caused by the AC Adapter wires not giving enough feed and just needing a new AC Adapter OR could this be an internal issue with my laptop related to PSU?
Thank yoouu!!!

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.

Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundaries
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancée (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we can’t just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says it’s very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancée even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I can’t let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancée did not know her. His fiancée is apparently distraught and claims we don’t see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my mom’s kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I don’t t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughters’ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I don’t want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. It’s not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my mom’s estate, they feel it’s not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothers’s watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the „each child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewellery“ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but It’s hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancée.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.

OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.
It’s worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my mother’s original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.

Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.

OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.

Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.

OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.

Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?

OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our mother’s birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. That’s how she got to know.

Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.

OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I can’t for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view it’s absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, it’s up to me to make the decision. She could’ve left them to anybody else, but she didn’t. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?

Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.

OOP: I actually don’t care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and won’t get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I don’t have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.

Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.

OOP: I don’t know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her nieces’ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girls’ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.

Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.

OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. It’s not that I feel she shouldn’t have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.

Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. She’s never met your mother but is distraught that she can’t wear her dead MIL’s jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didn’t even leave your brother’s wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancée are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again you’ll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughters’ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.

OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and it’s tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I can’t take away from my daughters to help her feel better.

Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.

OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I can’t in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.

Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?

OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.

Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled father’s full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my mother‘s wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancée after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that it’s very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my mother’s wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I would’ve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what she’s doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancé sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know they’re 18 but they’ll always be your babies!)!

OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my mother’s support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!

In response to a longer comment:

Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but it’s hard to tell what they will do. While I don’t believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.

​

24M I’ve had reflux and tightness in chest and throat for past 1 month. A week ago i visited the doctor, got my meds. He mentioned that back of my throat is looking very red and inflamed. Now, a week later, I don’t have reflux(burning sensation after meals in throat or chest), but the tightness in chest and throat is still there. Tightness has reduced but it is there.
My major concern is the bumps that i noticed on the back of my throat. I’m also noticing a little thrush on my gums. I briefly started mild smoking for 6 months but have quit 2 months ago. Also haven’t had a drink in 2 months. Can someone suggest if this is because of reflux, meds or is something else altogether? https://ibb.co/Sw3KHJc

Hello everyone,

I am trying to get some advice on a situation I have going on. It’s a long story, so please forgive me I will try to make it as short as possible. My grandmother passed away in January. She left everything to me in the will. I am also the guardian of my uncle now who is severely handicapped. Her house was left to me to sell to be able to care for him. Before she died she was in the process of evicting my mother and her boyfriend. Once she died I went through with the eviction. Even gave them a couple extra months and a car. My mom also had an extreme risk protective order served on her for threatening to kill herself and anyone who came onto the property. This made her boyfriend angry who began texting me saying he was going to buy her more guns. At the eviction, he put multiple guns in his car and pointed to a bulge on his hip and told me and the constables he had a .44 and wasn’t afraid to use it. Since then I have gotten texts from him saying he is going to make things up about me in hopes that I get killed. He has threatened to get me charged with grand theft auto. I’m not really worried about that stuff. My issue is he has been coming back to the house. He stole the BGE meter. Has been stealing mail. Going through sheds. I set up cameras to catch him stealing mail, being on the property, riding up and down our dead end street (my house is on the end), and walking through the yard. I went on vacation this weekend and someone shot through my house and destroyed the mailbox. I know it was him, but the police say he hid in the bushes to do it and my camera didn’t pick it up. They were able to find the bullet in the house and have been telling me I need to go get a peace order. That way if he comes back on the property they can arrest him. My lawyer says I don’t have proof of any of this and it won’t work. I am going to the courthouse tomorrow and very nervous and could use some advice. For some background info, he has an extensive record dating back atleast 30 years, was in prison for 18months, assault/DV charges, and is a convicted felon. Do I have a case here? I am also worried about doing this and making him more mad. But the police are telling me one thing while my lawyer says another. 

If you took the time to read all this thank you! Very sorry it’s so much.

I am scared what if I accidentally sent someone else email, the photos instead of mine. This fear pop up like 2 months ago. Before that I didn't fear this. I had different fears like what if it still exists in my email accounts or what if someone hacked into it. I never worried about this but suddenly I am now but it is impossible to get reassurance because I deleted it months ago like 9 months. Am I alone with this fear?

Hey guys! I just took delivery of the MASSIVE Thunderhawk Gunship and I'm so excited to put this thing on the table but the airplane nerd in my will not be satisfied.
So I guess my question for the group is: has anyone tried to magnetize the landing gear so that you can remove the struts and attach the landing skids to the 'wheel well' to make it look like the landing skids are retracted for in flight, but still have it support the full weight of the thunderhawk when you put them in the landing configuration?
My current idea is to put some bigger magnets on the parts of the hydraulic actuators that connect to the thunderhawk and matching where they connect to the landing skid. Then, when I want to set it up on the flying mount, take skids off, remove the hydraulic actuators and then have 2-4 smaller magnets on the flat part of the skid and match them where it tucks up into the fuselage to hold the skids in place in the 'up' position.
So, question one: has anyone tried anything like this before with either the thunderhawk or a similar model?
Question two: am I insane for trying this?
Thank you!

I [18F] have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 since 2022. I thought it would get better. I’ve seen a psychiatrist and psychologist but it’s still not good enough. I’ve taken meds and they stabilize me but the thoughts don’t go away. I know it’s ultimately up to me to control my mind to be better but honestly I can’t. I’m in a 2 year relationship but I’ve been so depressed lately that I became distant. I’m in the lowest phase of bipolar now. I have a strong urge to just let go of life. I feel like I don’t deserve to be in a loving relationship when he can be with someone so much happier. I feel like a burden filled with guilt. Everything I do feels like I’m manipulating when I’m just mentally ill. I blame bipolar for my actions then blame myself for acting the way I do. I always wonder what life would be like if I was just not depressed or manic. I hate when I get depressed because I do stupid things. I get upset and irritated so easily. I cry about anything I can. I feel worthless and take drugs to distract myself from the real face of my world. After the drug wears down, I feel so much worse and again struck with reality. I’m tired of being depressed that I wish to become manic so I can get a feeling of euphoria again. I’d do anything to stay manic. I’ve plotted the way I’d go out and wrote many suicide letters through the years. Each year, month, and even days feels like I get closer to doing this suicide plot. I have big goals in life but the depression gets too overbearing. I hate the way my mind is wired. It doesn’t help that I have no friends too. I have a group but I relate with none of them. I’m only close to my bf but I feel bad about being dependent on him. I get jealous that he has friends and loving parents. I don’t have any of that. I want to desperately be normal minded. I hate my illness. Sometimes it feels like I’m always conflicted with what I say or do. It’s like I can never decide what is right or wrong. I feel like I’m losing it. Is there a way I can fix this deep mess that I’m in?

Idk about you guys but I've always loved how a shower felt after a bunch of work. Something special about it. Anyway thanks for reading! :)
They were both offered showers by town citizens happy to open their homes. Gareth found showers immensely awkward but didn’t need to worry as a few townsfolk drew him a bath. With some extra help from Deag, who had taken a short trip to the ship, he treated the water and was finally able to eat something. It was no traditional Weilan spa, but it was… close enough. If he was being entirely honest, he was just glad to finally be able to eat something. He may have fibbed to Pen when they talked about food. He wasn’t near starving quite yet and even though being carried had allowed him to conserve a lot of energy, it wouldn’t have helped much longer.
He looked down at his poor shell. Its color greatly diminished from the lack of food and immense stress of the whole ordeal. He could feel the buildup of toxins in his system before and it was wonderful to feel them washing out. He sighed and slumped down under the water. Again, he inspected his shell. Wilting and greying all over his eyes wandered to the crack made by Pen when she pulled him out of the way of the turret. Probably another two months to heal but it was coming along. She must have remembered it too when they were falling. She was gentler. It honestly surprised him that he managed to survive that fall without any major injury.
Gareth let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he soaked under the water. After a few minutes, though, he heard a thump from outside the tub. He rose up from the water and peeked over the lip of the tub. A small human child stared back from the washroom door. Small by human standards that is. He was shorter than Gareth but only by a few inches. If Ton’et’s human biology lessons were serving him well the boy wouldn’t remain much smaller than him for more than a year or so. He should be quickly entering a time of quick growth that humans experience periodically in their formative years.
“Mmmhmmmb” the boy mumbled, still hiding most of himself behind the door.
“What was that?” Gareth asked.
The boy shirked slightly but found his voice after a moment.
“You… You’re weird looking.”
Gareth chuckled.
“You’re the weird looking one.”
The boy's brow furrowed, easier to read than Pen by far. The child wore his emotions on his face.
“Nuh uh…”
“Yuh huh.” Gareth mimicked the child.
“No, you don’t look like anyone else here.”
“Well, I’m not from here, am I? I’m from a place where everyone looks like me and nobody looks like you.”
This seemed to puzzle the boy.
“How many people?”
Gareth tilted his head. An odd question.
“Lots? Trillions.”
“Is that more than here?”
It dawned on him the math the boy was doing.
“Definitely.”
“Darn…”
The boy lightly tapped the doorframe with his foot.
“You could go see them.” Gareth offered.
“Really?” A shine came to his eyes.
“Oh definitely, there's a ton to see. More places out there than trees in that forest outside.”
The boy didn’t understand trillions but that comparison made sense to him.
“Waoooaahhh,” a frown came to his face quickly, “but I like it here though. I have friends here.”
“So when you miss them, just come on back. No reason you cant enjoy both right?”
Gareth's words were a joyous revelation to the boy.
“I’d love that I think…”
“I think you would to.” Gareth chuckled.
“You may be weird but you're pretty cool. My names Cameron by the way.”
“Pleasure to meet you Cameron, I’m Gareth. I think you’re weird and cool too.”
Cameron giggled and sprinted away, stopped, turned around, closed the door gently, then turned back around and sprinted away again. Gareth sunk back down into the tub smiling.
Pen stepped under the shower head with her face turned up. Steaming hot water hit her face and ran down taking all the stress and sweat with it.
A proper shower was exactly what Pen needed. She was no stranger to dirt and sweat and when needs must, she had no issue. That said, filthy was by no means a preferred state and after two days hard march, sleeping in the dirt, and only washing off in a river, a proper shower felt divine. It almost reminded her of washing off after a particularly arduous drop. There was something especially satisfying about it.
Soap, warm water, and more time to enjoy it than she’d ever have been given on the Basho. After getting clean she turned the heat up as high as it could go and propped herself against the wall of the shower letting the water run over her shoulders and back. The heat melted through the tension and washed it down the drain.
Ahhhhhh. Perfect.
Something tickled her neck and she brought her right hand up to it. She pulled a long strand of hair away. It struck her as odd and brought her attention to her hair. It had gotten longer. The strand in her hand was almost alien due to how long it had been since she’d allowed it to grow out beyond a few inches.
She brought both her hands up now, raking them through the newfound length. She’d start having to wear it up if she didn’t want to cut it.
She kind of didn’t. Why should she?
After a nice long while in the hot shower she turned the water off and stepped out. The bathroom was heavy with steam, but she saw that towels and clothes had been set by the sink for her. She dried herself and examined the clothing. It was a simple handwoven dress, loose cut and floor length. The dress was dyed olive green and parchment white with a humble little leaf-like pattern embroidered around the wrists and neckline.
It certainly wasn’t her normal fare, but it was clearly a kind gesture and matched the clothing most wore around town. With how little worn and well taken care of it looked Pen could guess that it meant a lot to the person who donated it.
Pen donned it and looked to the mirror only to find it utterly fogged up.
A light knock came from the other side of the door.
“Are you alright miss?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yea…” Pen faltered.
“Oh does the dress not fit? Or would you prefer something else?”
“No, no, it fits fine,” it did reach the floor though perhaps not as much as it was intended to, “How about you tell me how I look.”
Pen opened the door. Steam rolled out as she moved into the room with the young woman. She was a stranger to Pen but looked like the older lady whose house this was. Pen guessed a daughter.
“Oh my, I think you look quite nice! Olive is definitely one of your colors. Here!” The girl fumbled somewhat but showed Pen to a tall mirror in the far corner of the room.
It was… certainly a look. Not one she was used to but that was expected. The dress fit fine and it did look nice. Pen couldn’t help but notice, though, that it sat oddly on her. Not tight or revealing by any means, just… a gentler looking piece of clothing on a less than gently built frame. It wasn’t exactly made to be worn by a muscled body.
“Oh erm here miss,” the young woman handed her a hair tie but pulled back, “or if you want I could help you put it up? Its at that weird point where its not long enough to… you know but too long to uh it can be difficult. If you want I can…”
“I… appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I think I'll leave it down for now.”
“Right. Well, here. Just in case you want to.”
She again handed the hair tie but this time let Pen take it. Pen stowed it around her wrist.
“Is Gareth?”
“Oh yes your friend is across the street at the Patterson's. I can bring you over if you like.”
“Lead the way.”
“Of course.”
The girl led her out of the house and across the street. Pen saw a couple putting up woven cloth streamers across the road. They anchored them in trees with some parallel and others crossing.
As the girl stepped up the front porch of the, apparently, Patterson's house she waved to an older gentleman in a rocking chair.
“Evening Mr. Patterson. This is Penelope, she was just calling on her friend.”
“Evening dear. Evening miss. Yer friend hasn’t come out yet but you can head on up. To the left at the top, far end door.”
“Thanks.”
His hand came up to keep her just a moment.
“Thank you miss.” He said accentuating the ‘you’.
He looked at her like they all did. She knew what he meant and as awkwardly as it always was she smiled and nodded before she pushed past him. At least he had the good sense not to salute.
As she climbed the stairs just inside the door to the house she heard the man ask a question of the girl.
“Dear, could you ask your mother about a few fertilizer spikes? The peach is looking like it needs some help.”
Pen continued too far to make out her reply but could guess by its warm tone that it was a yes. She turned at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hall. Knocking on the door she called out to Gareth.
“You still soaking?”
“Just suiting up. I’ll be out in a min.”
A ‘min’ huh? Pen thought.
Previous
First

Technically I’ve been doing 12.5 incline and between 45-50 minutes. My gym grade treadmill which is set to my age and weight tells me I burn roughly 500-550 calories. Is this accurate? It’s a pretty tough workout. For reference I’m 27f and 168 pounds (started at 185lbs). Also roughly 5’7”.
I started this weight loss journey only 2 months ago and this workout has been a huge factor in my weight loss but I also try and eat around 1,500-1,700 calories a day. My maintenance was 2,400 which now that I’ve been learning how to count calories I’m realizing is a lot for a woman my height (I know I’m not short but still) 🫣

so my 1 year old son and i was outside the house when a bat flew past us it was only about 2 or 3 inches away it was very close i felt the wind as it flew by it was a fruit bat, i think, because the fruits on our mulberry tree and would also drop fruit pits on the ground, i am terrified of rabies, i have been for a very long time, i know i wasn’t scratched or bitten i also know that my baby wasn’t bitten but i’m worried scratches, i checked my babies skin thoroughly and i dont see any scratch but i’ve read somewhere that bat scratches can sometimes not be visible, i live in the philippines where there is no record of rabies cases that is caused by bats, not even one, but i saw some posts online where any type of encounter or exposure with a bat is high risk? i guess i’m just looking to find some reassurance or anything that could help, i’m really worried about my baby, he didn’t react at all when the bat flew past us , it was very fast (i was carrying my baby btw) i’m just terrified, i told my husband but he thinks i’m just being paranoid i told him we should get my baby rabies vaccine but my husband doesn’t like vaccines if not very necessary hope anyone here with more knowledge about rabies and bats can reply with some kind of info thankyou so much

In California, building code R323.8.1 severely limits where we can install solar batteries inside garages and near windows/entry ways.
Originally I wanted to place them (2 FranklinWH batteries) inside my garage on the right-side wall next to my car. But the codes require my to install bollards which prevents my car from entering the garage, so this is a no-go.
I have about 3 options, on the other side inside the garage or find place outside of my house.
Would love this community's thoughts on the options I have!
Photo of house and overview of the options
First Option: left-wall inside garage
Photo inside garage
I have a triple car garage where the left side is shorter depth where I have a work bench and cabinets. I could tear down the cabinets and place install against that wall.
Pros: Cleanest install away from the outdoor elements. No outdoor conduits needed to run.
Cons: I love storage space inside my garage.
Second Option: Stacked vertically on right wall.
Photo right side of the house
The batteries would be visible from the street and they would also be harder to install due to them being stacked vertically. They would be the most visible. HOA might be an asshole about it.
Pros: Shortest conduit run since its right on the other side of the wall that holds my electric panel.
Cons: Installer may not want to stack them vertically due to these being 500 lbs each. And they would be visible from the street.
Third option Left side of the house
Photo where batteries would go Complicated conduit options
If I place them on the other side of the house, I may need to relocate the fence 1-2 feet to the left due to building codes limiting the proximity to the windows.
This also has the most complicated conduit option which the installer may charge extra for or may not do a good job of. Running it through the attic is probably something they don't want to do.
Pros: Batteries are not visible from the street and I don't loose any storage inside the garage Cons: Difficult install with complicated conduit work
My preference: from a design and aesthetic perspective, I think they would look the nicest inside my garage on that left wall. I would loose storage but I could always add more storage racks above it.
The original alternate plan was to stack them vertically on the right-wall on the outside. But the installer claims its against warranty to stack them like that (my direct franklin rep said its fine though).
But I also see the appeal to having it on the left path of my house, I don't use that space at all and it would be nice out of the way. I'm just very worried about the aesthetics of the conduits.
For context, my designed system:

• 2x FranklinWH batteries (27 kWh storage)
• 40x REC Alpha Pure-R 420 panels (16.8 kw system size)
• 40x Enphase IQ8X micro inverters.

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions causes us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.