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2024.05.14 05:26 Carpetfreak The Obscure Birds: A Theory Regarding Shakespeare's Macbeth
[I wrote this article about Macbeth for my college's newspaper, and I thought this subreddit might enjoy reading it!]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.
submitted by Carpetfreak to shakespeare [link] [comments]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.
2024.05.13 13:09 williamMcdowell 👍
 | submitted by williamMcdowell to YonKaGor [link] [comments] |
2024.05.11 02:20 megamunch One Year's Worth of Unsolicited St Pete Restaurant / Bar Reviews
Let's get it all out of the way up front. I know, no one asked. No one cares. What kind of A hole can afford to eat at all these places. Yada yada.
The fact is the culinary scene is changing by the month here in St Pete. I view this as a good thing. After reading the 100th question asking where to eat and drink around town I thought I would document some places I've been to around St Pete for those who are interested. I enjoy spending my finite disposable income and leisure time exploring local eats & drinks with good company.
I am in no way qualified to be providing these unsolicited opinions. My opinions are probably all over the place and inconsistent - some will speak to value and others quality. These are in no particular order. There are hardly any chains on this list - I would much rather support local spots. Ready? Let's go.
Three Birds Tavern: Love the vibe of the outside patio. They even have a British telephone booth out there. Solid tavern / bar food. The lamb burger is fantastic. Shepherd's pie is not bad. Servers are so nice and bubbly. Worth it for lunch or brunch. Martini deals on Thursdays (I think they're $5).
Pin on Cafe: My go to lunch spot. Unfortunately they are moving down central a mile but they have fantastic pad Thai and a great value lunch menu, where you can build your own meal. Probably eaten here 30 times. Very friendly staff.
Bodega: If you're into Cuban sammies (don't hurt me but they're not my favorite) then this is the place. I'm told they're fairly authentic. Good speakeasy in the back. More on that below.
Bohemios: New Spanish tapas restaurant off central. Don't let the lingering BurgerFi sign fool you - the food here is exceptional. A tad expensive but good quality. They have been slow since opening but the chef & servers are super nice and love chatting to patrons. The chef is an especially awesome dude and a fantastic cook. Got the lobster cargo, empanadas, flank steak, meatballs, and lamb lollipops. All bangin'.
Frog Pond: Great family spot for breakfast or lunch. No frills / nothing fancy, just a good familial vibe and frogs painted on the walls. Got the BLT and pancakes. Both yummy.
Lure: Pretty cool place, but I still can't figure out what their "thing" is. Is it a sports bar? Billiard Hall? Sushi bar? Apparently it's all three. Surprisingly solid food (including the sushi), good music, fun place to hang out with a big group of friends before a show at the Floridian. Great happy hour and food specials.
Lemongrass: Solid Thai food. Went here for a date, and while that didn't go super well the food was again solid. Not mind blowing. But solid. Did I mention it was solid?
Zaytoon Grill: I love Mediterranean food. I had a kefta kabob, hummus, rice, salad. I admittedly need to try it again. It was decent, I've had much better kabob. But again, want to give it another try. I ordered takeout so can't comment on the place itself but I hear the staff are great.
EngineNo9: I was told this was the "best burger in town". This is false. Well, maybe for the money it is. After having just about every burger on the menu, I can say without a doubt the best burger in town is in fact Left Bank Bistro's Burger. My gawd. I think they sprinkle crack in the brie they put on top. Anyway, this is engine9. If my expectations were lower initially I think I would recommend it as a value play. Good place to watch sports. Jambalaya is meh. Sriracha wings are delicious though. So are the tots.
Tony's Pizza: A very solid pizza place always slinging deals on door dash. They have nice wide, thin slices, similar to NY style.
Gateway Subs: really good subs and creative too. For instance, you can get crushed Doritos on your sammy.
Brooklyn South: Middle of the road sandwiches for the price.
Mangosteen: I've only gotten takeout and thought their sushi was decent. This place and Lure seemed similar in their food offerings. When I walk by the vibe looks pretty cool. They do BOGO deals on door dash too.
Maple Street Biscuit Co: The hangover cure you've been looking for. Great biscuits & gravy. They have this fried chicken biscuit with a pepper jelly type thing and it's... Hang on I need a minute... Utterly delicious. Instead of giving them your name when you order, they ask you a thought provoking question, which is kind of fun (e.g. who in all of history would you want to meet?).
11 Chicks: Great Venezuelan food. Get an arepa and some of those to die for deep fried cheese things. Don't sleep on the 11 Chicks bowl. A little pricey for chicken and rice but the quality is chef's kiss.
Fresh Kitchen: Decently healthy, solid food. Like a healthy chipotle. You're in and out of there fast. If you need a somewhat healthy $12 bowl go here. Also everyone who eats there is somehow a fitness model and/or gorgeous.
Pacific Counter: Also a decently healthy, solid fast casual place serving poke bowls. Staff is super nice. Bring your dog - they will spoil with salmon skin treats.
Hotdog Stand (8th & Central): I haven't caught her name, but she slings awesome street hotdogs and puts a lot of love into the fixings on top. Bring up the TB Lightning or bring your dog and you will be her favorite.
Pia's: I know, it's in Gulfport. Fantastic Italian food. Sit out on the patio if you can - there is a good red/white checkered tablecloth vibe out there. Saw someone get engaged there. It's that kind of place, immersive, familial, and delicious. The shank and lasagna were heavenly.
Paul's Landing: Worth it to check out the view of the pier and pool while at the Vinoy. Grab a drink and some very good American food here with a date, or for brunch.
Sauvignon Wine Locker: Pasta - yes. Wine - fuck yes. Half off bottle deals on Sunday I believe. Definitely a nicer place and a draw for the rich old snowbirds. I hear some local billionaires frequent the place. Kind of a cool entrance, walking down a (safe) alley before climbing the stairs to get to it.
Fortu: Clubby, upscale asian fusion spot. Expensive but also very good. The wagyu potstickers are great. Go here for date night and pay way too much for cool drinks and very good Asian food. But your body will be swaying from the music and sexy vibe.
Social Roost: Fun spot, feels kind of like you're walking into a Great Gatsby party. Creative and delicious dishes and the price is about right. It's loud and social and a high energy place so go with friends or a date on a Friday or Saturday.
Datz: Very solid bar / American / brunch food. I got a fried chicken salad and it was really good. I know there's more to try and I will do so.
Ford's Garage: Great burgers. If you're a car person, it's definitely worth checking out. Even the bathroom has a tire for a sink.
La V: Highly recommend this place. Vietnamese, French fusion. Good Pho, banh mi, and rolls. Get the beef bourgingon- like dish and soak up the broth with a toasty french baguette. Baby, you've got a stew goin'.
Calida: super small but absolutely delicious spot. A husband and wife cook and run the place, and they only have one other server who is equally awesome. They make you feel like family and live to serve people good food. Menu changes often based on ingredients that are in season. Had the short rib, Icelandic fish dish (forget the name), and duck panang. My gawd was it yummy. Great wine list too. Oh, they're only open three nights a week so make a rezzy in advance.
Bavaros: Pretty good pasta, a little pricey for the portion. Was a fan of Bolognese and penne vodka. Fun outdoor vibe with the sidewalk seating. Sometimes I'll bring carry out to cellarmasters.
Pizza Box: super tiny pizza spot but REALLY good meatballs and quality pizza made in a legit pizza oven. Get it with hot honey and a glass of wine.
Left Bank: Lit'rlly the best burger in town. The prices are exhorbinant for what you get, but the quality is hard to beat. $40 for beef bourgingon pissed me off, but again the food is really good. Go here for brunch and sip French rosé, get a croque madam, or take a date here for steak frites.
Il Ritorno: Upscale Italian. For the price, it was decent. Compared to olive garden it's excellent. Liked Bonu better. Pretty upscale spot for a date night. For the money, I think there are better spots. Please don't hurt me.
Bonu: Very refreshing vibe, open and airy and filled with cool lights and plants. Really good menu - lobster ravioli and penne vodka were great. Try some of their more creative dishes as well, you won't be disappointed.
Wild Child: I only went once for a date and I think we walked in after a fryer fire or something. Seriously, when we walked in we were assaulted with an intense funnel cake-like fryer smell and thin layer of smoke. Food was okay, I can't even remember what we got. I will agree to go back and try it again since I keep hearing good things and I'm pretty sure this was a one off experience. The date went well though. Not that you care.
Cassis: Solid French bistro with a restaurant and a quick eats side to it serving ice cream, chocolate, and pizza. Pretty banging.
Bella Brava: Great pizza! Was surprised how good since its in a touristy spot on Beach drive. Good pasta too. I think they have a good deal on Tuesdays or something.
Allelo: Upscale and very high quality Mediterranean food and wine list. Loved this place. Get the octopus, lamb Bolognese, and/or rabbit & glass of red and you won't be sorry.
Shrimp Store: Very good local, fresh seafood + rice, beans type place. Stop by for lunch and try the grouper. Fish & chips and hush puppies are great. Good prices too. Definitely good value.
Teak (Pier restaurant): I know the pier is touristy. But it's also gorgeous. The view of the water from the restaurant is unmatched. You can see Tampa Bay and st Pete skylines really well, watch the sailboats, and small planes fly by. The food is surprisingly good here. It's worth checking out even if you're a local.
Doc Ford's: I'd call this place upscale beach shack food. It's good quality, prices are slightly high as it is a more touristy spot on the pier. Good live music and good vibes.
Trophy Fish: I really enjoyed how fun and unique this place is. It's all outside but kind of covered, and really fun looking at night with all the lights and plants. Big bar you can sit around and you order seafood out of the truck/shack behind it. Have to say it was pretty expensive for what it was but definitely high quality.
The Studio Public House: Come here to see some great British rock and euro futbol memorabilia. Fish and chips are great, as is the shepherds pie.
Hook's on 9th: Sushi & Thai food with a great sushi menu. Great quality for not much money. $10 sushi and/or dishes for lunch. Get some takeout, try the beef bulgogi and a couple rolls. You won't be sorry.
Rumfish Grill (St Pete Beach): they have an awesome floor to ceiling aquarium right in the dining room. It's mesmerizing and a little bizarre watching the (huge) fish swim around while eating their cousin. Good seafood. Worth a visit.
Urban Stillhouse: Very upscale dining and I have to say the quality and experience were well worth the money. The building itself is unimpressive from the outside, yet when you walk in you are transported to the fanciest mountain / lodge / chalet type vibe you can think of. Multi level restaurant serving up great lamb, steak, and sides. Bonus points if you stop by Lolita's before.
Mazarros: A St Pete staple, and very crowded. But really good sandwiches made there and high quality Italian grocery options. Awesome wine room too - sometimes they do tastings. They do cooking classes here but haven't tried them yet. Worth checking out once, there's no place quite like it.
Lolita's: such a cool building they've moved in to, right next to the bike trail. Very artsy vibe since they share the space with Morean. Very creative dishes and cocktails, gorgeous patio on which to enjoy them.
Paradise Grill (pass-a-grille): the beach shack place right on the beach. I don't know how you can beat their grouper sammy, ice cold iced tea, and that beach view steps away from the water.
Ted Peter's: smoked fish isn't my favorite I admit, but even I liked it. I had some of their non-smoked fish and it was banging. Ask to go see where the smoking is done next door, it's a unique way they cook fish there. Been around for 80+ years.
Poppos : I live nearby and have been here a few times. Was described to me as a "local chipotle". I really wanted to like it. It's average. The portions are small for what you pay for. Their bowls, like literally the paper bowl itself, has a huge indent and is raised from the bottom so it fits a lot less food than you'd think. Staff was super kind though.
Drinks/Bar Only:
Intermezzo: This is the date night spot. Lots of love put into each drink. Nice jazz music. Visiting during Christmas is a must as they deck the place out. They're moving right nearby in the coming months.
Cellarmasters: My favorite watering hole in town. By now you know I enjoy wine. This place isn't your typical wine bar - it's divey, hipster, and awesome. Bring a sub or takeout here and listen to the incredibly cool wine staff pick and pour you the perfect glass. They have a great selection of old world for $20-40 a bottle.
No Vacancy: Outdoor Clubby place, usually a good spot for a DJ and to rip shots / crash bachelor or bachelorette parties.
Steve's: cash only no frills/old school bar. Go grab a bud light in a bottle and roll with the sticky floors. A staple on central ave that's been there forever.
Tryst: Decent bar. Had a boat load of tequila there.
The Landing: Pre or post Jannus show it's a must to continue your high octane weekend night with music and dancing. Bathroom lines get real long so wear a diaper or get in line early. Or try to bribe others in line with a fiver.
Bar Chica: If you like craft cocktails, it's a must visit. Classy bar slinging really cool drinks. You walk thru Bodega to get to it.
Lost and Found: Great spot for a drink and live music. Food truck and big backyard to enjoy a drink under the stars. They were playing Terminator 2 on the TV there which shows you how cool the place is.
Enigma: I typically see this suggested (as a joke) to out of towners asking for a low-key place to have a drink. Well, joke's on them. Enigma is so fun. It is a gay bar, but assuming you're progressive enough to deal with that the drinks, music, dancing, and people are fantastic.
It's all culminated in this. My favorite restaurant in town. Bin6South! ... You will spend $100+ and still walk out hungry. It is not a value play. It is a quality play. There are only 6 barstools and one table fitting 6 people. Reservations are not easy to come by. This place is the product of a retired couple who wanted to make awesome food, pour good wine, and have a communal feel for locals. It's not for everyone. But if you like a chef's table vibe, try it. You can shoot the shit with the chef, owner, and sommelier while they serve you amazing food you've never tried and pour you delicious wine. Their venison and pork shoulder are banging. They also have lots of fun culinary and wine events so check that out.
If you like coffee, the following places are a must try for either the quality of their espresso, local art, and/or vibe:
The Shop & Coffee House
Black crow
Intermezzo
Book & Bottle
Kawha
Bad mother
Fray's donut house for donuts and breakfast sammies too
Bonus Tampa restaurants:
Oxford Exchange: A Harry Potter feeling to it with good brunch food. It has a library quality to it, you feel like British royalty eating here. Great place for a cheeky day glass of rosé or bubbly. Take a walk along the river walk before or after.
Berns: A must try. It's been there for 80+ years. The building itself has such cool decorations and pictures on the walls, and each room has a different theme. While their steak is just okay, for the price comes with French onion soup and onion straws. The best part of Bern's is their wine list. My gawd. They have over 500,000 bottles on site and more in their other building / cellar. I think it's the largest restaurant owned wine collection in the world. Because there are so many bottles, they often can't keep up with pricing for all of them. We got three different bottles from 1975 - 1987 for under $50 each. Their dessert room, cellar tour, and kitchen tours are a must. Check out my post history as I have something in there from the wine subreddit.
Oh and not in Tampa but best Chinese food around is Zom Hee in Seminole. Get their NY strip dish. It's banging. Cool old school spot.
Places I want to try: Rococo, Beau & Mo's, El Cap, Cappy's, Harvey's, Sammy's, Hookin' Ain't Easy, The Chattaway, Brick & Mortar, naked farmer, violet stone, Jack's London Grille, Bascoms, food trucks (Go Stuff Yourself), Nueva Cantina's fundido burger, eat art love, German Knodle, Ceviche, The Burg, Sara's Kebab House, Baba / Barbouni
Agree? Disagree? Any other places you'd add to the list? I will likely keep editing this post as other places pop in my mind that I've forgotten, and/or I eat somewhere new. Cheers.
submitted by megamunch to StPetersburgFL [link] [comments]
The fact is the culinary scene is changing by the month here in St Pete. I view this as a good thing. After reading the 100th question asking where to eat and drink around town I thought I would document some places I've been to around St Pete for those who are interested. I enjoy spending my finite disposable income and leisure time exploring local eats & drinks with good company.
I am in no way qualified to be providing these unsolicited opinions. My opinions are probably all over the place and inconsistent - some will speak to value and others quality. These are in no particular order. There are hardly any chains on this list - I would much rather support local spots. Ready? Let's go.
Pin on Cafe: My go to lunch spot. Unfortunately they are moving down central a mile but they have fantastic pad Thai and a great value lunch menu, where you can build your own meal. Probably eaten here 30 times. Very friendly staff.
Bodega: If you're into Cuban sammies (don't hurt me but they're not my favorite) then this is the place. I'm told they're fairly authentic. Good speakeasy in the back. More on that below.
Bohemios: New Spanish tapas restaurant off central. Don't let the lingering BurgerFi sign fool you - the food here is exceptional. A tad expensive but good quality. They have been slow since opening but the chef & servers are super nice and love chatting to patrons. The chef is an especially awesome dude and a fantastic cook. Got the lobster cargo, empanadas, flank steak, meatballs, and lamb lollipops. All bangin'.
Frog Pond: Great family spot for breakfast or lunch. No frills / nothing fancy, just a good familial vibe and frogs painted on the walls. Got the BLT and pancakes. Both yummy.
Lure: Pretty cool place, but I still can't figure out what their "thing" is. Is it a sports bar? Billiard Hall? Sushi bar? Apparently it's all three. Surprisingly solid food (including the sushi), good music, fun place to hang out with a big group of friends before a show at the Floridian. Great happy hour and food specials.
Lemongrass: Solid Thai food. Went here for a date, and while that didn't go super well the food was again solid. Not mind blowing. But solid. Did I mention it was solid?
Zaytoon Grill: I love Mediterranean food. I had a kefta kabob, hummus, rice, salad. I admittedly need to try it again. It was decent, I've had much better kabob. But again, want to give it another try. I ordered takeout so can't comment on the place itself but I hear the staff are great.
EngineNo9: I was told this was the "best burger in town". This is false. Well, maybe for the money it is. After having just about every burger on the menu, I can say without a doubt the best burger in town is in fact Left Bank Bistro's Burger. My gawd. I think they sprinkle crack in the brie they put on top. Anyway, this is engine9. If my expectations were lower initially I think I would recommend it as a value play. Good place to watch sports. Jambalaya is meh. Sriracha wings are delicious though. So are the tots.
Tony's Pizza: A very solid pizza place always slinging deals on door dash. They have nice wide, thin slices, similar to NY style.
Gateway Subs: really good subs and creative too. For instance, you can get crushed Doritos on your sammy.
Brooklyn South: Middle of the road sandwiches for the price.
Mangosteen: I've only gotten takeout and thought their sushi was decent. This place and Lure seemed similar in their food offerings. When I walk by the vibe looks pretty cool. They do BOGO deals on door dash too.
Maple Street Biscuit Co: The hangover cure you've been looking for. Great biscuits & gravy. They have this fried chicken biscuit with a pepper jelly type thing and it's... Hang on I need a minute... Utterly delicious. Instead of giving them your name when you order, they ask you a thought provoking question, which is kind of fun (e.g. who in all of history would you want to meet?).
11 Chicks: Great Venezuelan food. Get an arepa and some of those to die for deep fried cheese things. Don't sleep on the 11 Chicks bowl. A little pricey for chicken and rice but the quality is chef's kiss.
Fresh Kitchen: Decently healthy, solid food. Like a healthy chipotle. You're in and out of there fast. If you need a somewhat healthy $12 bowl go here. Also everyone who eats there is somehow a fitness model and/or gorgeous.
Pacific Counter: Also a decently healthy, solid fast casual place serving poke bowls. Staff is super nice. Bring your dog - they will spoil with salmon skin treats.
Hotdog Stand (8th & Central): I haven't caught her name, but she slings awesome street hotdogs and puts a lot of love into the fixings on top. Bring up the TB Lightning or bring your dog and you will be her favorite.
Pia's: I know, it's in Gulfport. Fantastic Italian food. Sit out on the patio if you can - there is a good red/white checkered tablecloth vibe out there. Saw someone get engaged there. It's that kind of place, immersive, familial, and delicious. The shank and lasagna were heavenly.
Paul's Landing: Worth it to check out the view of the pier and pool while at the Vinoy. Grab a drink and some very good American food here with a date, or for brunch.
Sauvignon Wine Locker: Pasta - yes. Wine - fuck yes. Half off bottle deals on Sunday I believe. Definitely a nicer place and a draw for the rich old snowbirds. I hear some local billionaires frequent the place. Kind of a cool entrance, walking down a (safe) alley before climbing the stairs to get to it.
Fortu: Clubby, upscale asian fusion spot. Expensive but also very good. The wagyu potstickers are great. Go here for date night and pay way too much for cool drinks and very good Asian food. But your body will be swaying from the music and sexy vibe.
Social Roost: Fun spot, feels kind of like you're walking into a Great Gatsby party. Creative and delicious dishes and the price is about right. It's loud and social and a high energy place so go with friends or a date on a Friday or Saturday.
Datz: Very solid bar / American / brunch food. I got a fried chicken salad and it was really good. I know there's more to try and I will do so.
Ford's Garage: Great burgers. If you're a car person, it's definitely worth checking out. Even the bathroom has a tire for a sink.
La V: Highly recommend this place. Vietnamese, French fusion. Good Pho, banh mi, and rolls. Get the beef bourgingon- like dish and soak up the broth with a toasty french baguette. Baby, you've got a stew goin'.
Calida: super small but absolutely delicious spot. A husband and wife cook and run the place, and they only have one other server who is equally awesome. They make you feel like family and live to serve people good food. Menu changes often based on ingredients that are in season. Had the short rib, Icelandic fish dish (forget the name), and duck panang. My gawd was it yummy. Great wine list too. Oh, they're only open three nights a week so make a rezzy in advance.
Bavaros: Pretty good pasta, a little pricey for the portion. Was a fan of Bolognese and penne vodka. Fun outdoor vibe with the sidewalk seating. Sometimes I'll bring carry out to cellarmasters.
Pizza Box: super tiny pizza spot but REALLY good meatballs and quality pizza made in a legit pizza oven. Get it with hot honey and a glass of wine.
Left Bank: Lit'rlly the best burger in town. The prices are exhorbinant for what you get, but the quality is hard to beat. $40 for beef bourgingon pissed me off, but again the food is really good. Go here for brunch and sip French rosé, get a croque madam, or take a date here for steak frites.
Il Ritorno: Upscale Italian. For the price, it was decent. Compared to olive garden it's excellent. Liked Bonu better. Pretty upscale spot for a date night. For the money, I think there are better spots. Please don't hurt me.
Bonu: Very refreshing vibe, open and airy and filled with cool lights and plants. Really good menu - lobster ravioli and penne vodka were great. Try some of their more creative dishes as well, you won't be disappointed.
Wild Child: I only went once for a date and I think we walked in after a fryer fire or something. Seriously, when we walked in we were assaulted with an intense funnel cake-like fryer smell and thin layer of smoke. Food was okay, I can't even remember what we got. I will agree to go back and try it again since I keep hearing good things and I'm pretty sure this was a one off experience. The date went well though. Not that you care.
Cassis: Solid French bistro with a restaurant and a quick eats side to it serving ice cream, chocolate, and pizza. Pretty banging.
Bella Brava: Great pizza! Was surprised how good since its in a touristy spot on Beach drive. Good pasta too. I think they have a good deal on Tuesdays or something.
Allelo: Upscale and very high quality Mediterranean food and wine list. Loved this place. Get the octopus, lamb Bolognese, and/or rabbit & glass of red and you won't be sorry.
Shrimp Store: Very good local, fresh seafood + rice, beans type place. Stop by for lunch and try the grouper. Fish & chips and hush puppies are great. Good prices too. Definitely good value.
Teak (Pier restaurant): I know the pier is touristy. But it's also gorgeous. The view of the water from the restaurant is unmatched. You can see Tampa Bay and st Pete skylines really well, watch the sailboats, and small planes fly by. The food is surprisingly good here. It's worth checking out even if you're a local.
Doc Ford's: I'd call this place upscale beach shack food. It's good quality, prices are slightly high as it is a more touristy spot on the pier. Good live music and good vibes.
Trophy Fish: I really enjoyed how fun and unique this place is. It's all outside but kind of covered, and really fun looking at night with all the lights and plants. Big bar you can sit around and you order seafood out of the truck/shack behind it. Have to say it was pretty expensive for what it was but definitely high quality.
The Studio Public House: Come here to see some great British rock and euro futbol memorabilia. Fish and chips are great, as is the shepherds pie.
Hook's on 9th: Sushi & Thai food with a great sushi menu. Great quality for not much money. $10 sushi and/or dishes for lunch. Get some takeout, try the beef bulgogi and a couple rolls. You won't be sorry.
Rumfish Grill (St Pete Beach): they have an awesome floor to ceiling aquarium right in the dining room. It's mesmerizing and a little bizarre watching the (huge) fish swim around while eating their cousin. Good seafood. Worth a visit.
Urban Stillhouse: Very upscale dining and I have to say the quality and experience were well worth the money. The building itself is unimpressive from the outside, yet when you walk in you are transported to the fanciest mountain / lodge / chalet type vibe you can think of. Multi level restaurant serving up great lamb, steak, and sides. Bonus points if you stop by Lolita's before.
Mazarros: A St Pete staple, and very crowded. But really good sandwiches made there and high quality Italian grocery options. Awesome wine room too - sometimes they do tastings. They do cooking classes here but haven't tried them yet. Worth checking out once, there's no place quite like it.
Lolita's: such a cool building they've moved in to, right next to the bike trail. Very artsy vibe since they share the space with Morean. Very creative dishes and cocktails, gorgeous patio on which to enjoy them.
Paradise Grill (pass-a-grille): the beach shack place right on the beach. I don't know how you can beat their grouper sammy, ice cold iced tea, and that beach view steps away from the water.
Ted Peter's: smoked fish isn't my favorite I admit, but even I liked it. I had some of their non-smoked fish and it was banging. Ask to go see where the smoking is done next door, it's a unique way they cook fish there. Been around for 80+ years.
Poppos : I live nearby and have been here a few times. Was described to me as a "local chipotle". I really wanted to like it. It's average. The portions are small for what you pay for. Their bowls, like literally the paper bowl itself, has a huge indent and is raised from the bottom so it fits a lot less food than you'd think. Staff was super kind though.
Drinks/Bar Only:
Intermezzo: This is the date night spot. Lots of love put into each drink. Nice jazz music. Visiting during Christmas is a must as they deck the place out. They're moving right nearby in the coming months.
Cellarmasters: My favorite watering hole in town. By now you know I enjoy wine. This place isn't your typical wine bar - it's divey, hipster, and awesome. Bring a sub or takeout here and listen to the incredibly cool wine staff pick and pour you the perfect glass. They have a great selection of old world for $20-40 a bottle.
No Vacancy: Outdoor Clubby place, usually a good spot for a DJ and to rip shots / crash bachelor or bachelorette parties.
Steve's: cash only no frills/old school bar. Go grab a bud light in a bottle and roll with the sticky floors. A staple on central ave that's been there forever.
Tryst: Decent bar. Had a boat load of tequila there.
The Landing: Pre or post Jannus show it's a must to continue your high octane weekend night with music and dancing. Bathroom lines get real long so wear a diaper or get in line early. Or try to bribe others in line with a fiver.
Bar Chica: If you like craft cocktails, it's a must visit. Classy bar slinging really cool drinks. You walk thru Bodega to get to it.
Lost and Found: Great spot for a drink and live music. Food truck and big backyard to enjoy a drink under the stars. They were playing Terminator 2 on the TV there which shows you how cool the place is.
Enigma: I typically see this suggested (as a joke) to out of towners asking for a low-key place to have a drink. Well, joke's on them. Enigma is so fun. It is a gay bar, but assuming you're progressive enough to deal with that the drinks, music, dancing, and people are fantastic.
It's all culminated in this. My favorite restaurant in town. Bin6South! ... You will spend $100+ and still walk out hungry. It is not a value play. It is a quality play. There are only 6 barstools and one table fitting 6 people. Reservations are not easy to come by. This place is the product of a retired couple who wanted to make awesome food, pour good wine, and have a communal feel for locals. It's not for everyone. But if you like a chef's table vibe, try it. You can shoot the shit with the chef, owner, and sommelier while they serve you amazing food you've never tried and pour you delicious wine. Their venison and pork shoulder are banging. They also have lots of fun culinary and wine events so check that out.
If you like coffee, the following places are a must try for either the quality of their espresso, local art, and/or vibe:
The Shop & Coffee House
Black crow
Intermezzo
Book & Bottle
Kawha
Bad mother
Fray's donut house for donuts and breakfast sammies too
Bonus Tampa restaurants:
Oxford Exchange: A Harry Potter feeling to it with good brunch food. It has a library quality to it, you feel like British royalty eating here. Great place for a cheeky day glass of rosé or bubbly. Take a walk along the river walk before or after.
Berns: A must try. It's been there for 80+ years. The building itself has such cool decorations and pictures on the walls, and each room has a different theme. While their steak is just okay, for the price comes with French onion soup and onion straws. The best part of Bern's is their wine list. My gawd. They have over 500,000 bottles on site and more in their other building / cellar. I think it's the largest restaurant owned wine collection in the world. Because there are so many bottles, they often can't keep up with pricing for all of them. We got three different bottles from 1975 - 1987 for under $50 each. Their dessert room, cellar tour, and kitchen tours are a must. Check out my post history as I have something in there from the wine subreddit.
Oh and not in Tampa but best Chinese food around is Zom Hee in Seminole. Get their NY strip dish. It's banging. Cool old school spot.
Places I want to try: Rococo, Beau & Mo's, El Cap, Cappy's, Harvey's, Sammy's, Hookin' Ain't Easy, The Chattaway, Brick & Mortar, naked farmer, violet stone, Jack's London Grille, Bascoms, food trucks (Go Stuff Yourself), Nueva Cantina's fundido burger, eat art love, German Knodle, Ceviche, The Burg, Sara's Kebab House, Baba / Barbouni
Agree? Disagree? Any other places you'd add to the list? I will likely keep editing this post as other places pop in my mind that I've forgotten, and/or I eat somewhere new. Cheers.
2024.05.09 20:48 no-fawny-business4 Somewhere in Nowhere - Pigman
Pigs can be very dangerous animals. There’s a reason why Dorothy’s uncle freaked out when she fell into the pigpen in The Wizard of Oz.
I’m not talking about wild boars, either. Farm pigs aren’t aggressive or carrying some zombie plague (as far as I know), but the danger lies in their appetite. Anyone who lives on a farm with them for even just a few days knows that they are definitely not herbivores. They’ll eat just about anything, all the way up to human bones. I guess that’s one way to get your calcium.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if you fall into a pigpen, you’re more than likely going to be alright, as long as the fall doesn’t knock you out. But let’s say the back of your head hits the ground particularly hard. You’re unconscious. A group of even slightly hungry pigs will probably start with your clothes, boots, hair, and maybe even your ears. But if you give them long enough, once they’ve got going, they’ll do much more permanent damage.
My maternal great-grandfather was a pig farmer. One day in a record-temperature July, he got a bad case of heat stroke and did just that. He was passed out in that pigpen for an hour and a half before my great-grandmother found him and rushed him to the hospital. He lived, but he lost three fingers, had been given plenty of scars that would never fully heal, and had to walk with a cane for the rest of his life.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, suffice it to say, I would rather cover myself in ketchup and honey and take a long nap in a commercial pig sty than have to look out of my kitchen window at night and see that Pigman standing in the fields one more damn time.
Before I make it sound like I hate pigs, I don’t. All domesticated animals come with their own dangers, and most won’t hurt you unless you somehow give them the opportunity, even unintentionally. There’s something to be said about the intelligence and even kindness of the humble swine. But that... thing. It was different. Every time I caught sight of the shine of its dewy, misshapen eyes in the darkness, I felt sick to my stomach.
Hamlet squealed and put his little hooves on my chest as if he could read my thoughts and was pleading his little piggy case. I sat the brush down and scooped him into my arms, rocking him like a babe.
“Oh, you’re not gobbling up anyone’s fingers, are you, little guy?”
He squirmed around and oinked like a giant porky worm, and I gave him a slice of apple before letting him go. Dawson was always bringing apples over now, and the animals loved it. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but so did I.
I gave Hamlet back to his appreciative mother and brushed off the seat of my overalls. The afternoon sweltered, even in the shade of the barn, and my throat was dry. I made sure everyone had plenty of water before going back toward the house. Maybe Aunt Jean could pull some sweet iced tea out of a pocket dimension because I’d forgotten to make more. Dawson was going to kick my ass when he made it over for dinner.
A glass of tea with a lemon slice was waiting on the kitchen table when I went inside, like I’d tupla’d it up. Reading minds would’ve been the least surprising thing Aunt Jean was capable of. I gave it a cursory poison sniff, drank it down, and then popped the lemon slice into my mouth, rind and all. No sense in wasting it.
As soon as I was hydrated, my body immediately decided to ruin it all and jones for a cigarette.
“Hey, Aunt Jean?” I called up the stairs. “Thanks for the tea; I’m gonna step out for a smoke real quick. Don’t forget Dawson will be over in a few hours!”
The only audible response was the steady creak of the rocking chair starting up again upstairs. If she had spoken, I no doubt would’ve heard her call out, “I’ll wear my best, chickadee.”
I rolled a fresh cigarette and stepped outside with my zippo. A faint, musty scent clung to the breeze like a fat tick, and as I looked out to the field, I remembered the rotted roots of some of the corn stalks. My stomach twisted into a double pretzel knot.
It’s one of the worst feelings in the world to know something is going terribly wrong, something that will affect you severely, and not be able to do anything about it. My crop, sewn with my own blood, sweat, and diesel, was dying. As far as I could tell, I’d done nothing wrong or different than usual besides my land being host to “the Evil.”
At that moment, I told myself that no, I wouldn’t sit back and watch it happen. I’d do everything short of black magic to save that corn. Surely, Two-Tooth Steve had something helpful and questionably legal to offer me.
As I shifted my gaze upward from the exceptionally nasty-looking patch, I saw him.
The Pigman had never been out in the day like this before. But there he was, standing with his hammer over his shoulder and staring at me with those inky eyes. He was an even worse sight to behold in clear light. I could see every greasy wrinkle and every pit where his skin settled wrong.
I sat on the porch railing, lit the cigarette, and lifted it to my mouth. I needed it then more than ever.
As I blew a cloud of smoke out of my nose, the Pigman began to move. I looked on in stunned silence as he walked to the edge of the cornfield. We held eye contact for what felt like ages. The cigarette burned down to ash in my hand, and the wind whistling through the stalks was the only sound other than my heavy breathing. Was he going to run up here? Was this it? Would he charge me, pick me up, and chew me down to the bone?
As my life flashed before my eyes for the… let’s face it, I’m not counting anymore, all I could think of was Dawson and how much it was going to suck for him to find my mangled corpse when he came over for dinner. I would’ve gone through the reverse a thousand times if he didn’t have to even once. I couldn’t deny that he was sweet; he didn’t deserve to see shit like that.
The near silence was suddenly broken when the Pigman let out a squeal-scream so loud that he leaned forward into it. Birds took flight in terror from the pines in the distance, and I jumped so hard that I fell forward and hit the ground three feet below. I clutched at my knee and groaned in pain like some fat guy who tripped over a mailbox. The Pigman just watched me, making odd snuffling noises that might’ve been the pig equivalent of giggles.
I pushed myself to my feet and started limping toward the cornfield with my skinned knee. That tore it; I was about to give this swine behind a piece of my mind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?! Why do you like to torture me, you creep?! Why can’t you just leave?! You aren’t paying rent! Go somewhere else!”
I met him at the edge of the field and quickly realized that I’d never been this close to him. The stink of old blood overwhelmed the rotting corn scent, and I felt my breakfast threatening to come back for a visit. Slanted pig teeth, stained brown, poked out from a snout that looked like it was melting. His eyes sat even farther in the sockets than I’d initially thought, giving the whole thing the appearance of a cheap, two-sizes-too-big latex mask. His fingers were crusted with dirt, and his nails were bitten down to bloody quicks. One ear had begun to mold, and the other bore a small yellow livestock tag, which I couldn’t read. As I took it all in, a fly crawled in through his nostril and out of his eye.
I thought faintly about running back to the house, but anger beat out fear.
“You need to find some other farmer to bother! I’m not taking your shit anymore!”
Without considering the consequences for longer than a second, I broke the barrier between us and stepped into the cornfield. The old blood smell grew fresh and overwhelming. All around me, I could suddenly hear the tramping of hooves and the screaming of pigs. Not oinking or squealing— this was a slaughterhouse cry. I tried to step back but froze when I heard something entirely different above the noise.
“Leave, Newport. You have no place on this land,” called out a male voice. Unlike everything else, it came from inside my head. It was harsh but… familiar. It conjured a face and a name in my head, but I couldn’t make either out. All I saw was blurry shapes and colors. The puzzle pieces that filled the gaps in my memories were lost in a woodchipper.
I didn’t know if it was the Pigman who had spoken to me, but I told him off anyway.
“Fuck you. This land, this house, these animals all need me. This is my home. I belong here.”
The hoofbeats got louder, and I felt something hard come down on my ankle. When I fell to the ground, all bets were off. Hit after hit, all over my body, pigs I couldn’t even see ground their feet into my skin as they trampled all over me. I could feel the gritty dirt they left on me with each step, and I choked on the dust they kicked up.
When the onslaught was over, not an inch of my skin was left unbruised and sore. The only thought in my mind was that I’d like to see Dawson try to put an ice pack on all this! Maybe that was just a coping mechanism, though.
I staggered up to my feet, pretty sure my ankle was sprained to hell, and immediately fell back to my knees and puked. There wasn’t a lot left in me to come up, but it still managed to make it out of my nose. I got up again and ran for the house, sparks of pain shooting up my leg as I hit the porch steps and coughed up more stomach acid.
I took the stairs two at a time, racing down the hallway. I nearly had a head-on collision at high speed with the shower as I rocketed into the bathroom. I felt dirty and sick, and the countless bruises stung like wildfire. I stood in the cold stream of water, not even bothering to take off my clothes. Rivulets the color of rotten fruit swirled down the drain as I wept into my hands. My shirt stuck to me like pine tar as I struggled to pull it off.
An indeterminate amount of time passed. It was only Dawson’s voice that pulled me out of disassociation. I realized with some shock that I was so glad he was here. At some point, I’d ended up on the bathroom floor. My injured ankle was still hanging over the tub’s edge, and the water was ice cold.
“Hey, do you need some help there? I brought pie, and I feel like the floor isn’t the best place to enjoy it. I won’t stop you if that’s what you want, though. Where’d you get all those nasty bruises?”
I just nodded, and he took that as permission to help me to my feet and wrap a towel around me. If he had any thoughts about my impromptu coming out, he didn’t voice them. I’d never been that good at modesty, and he probably knew from the beginning.
“Seriously, though. What happened?”
He helped me sit down on my bed, and I rubbed my swelling eye.
“I, uh, fell. Into my tractor.”
Dawson raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t question it. He’d only been in my room a few times before that, and I was surprised by how completely unbothered by his presence there I had become.
“This wardrobe looks like it leads to Narnia,” he said, swinging the door open and looking through my collection of overalls and thrift store t-shirts.
“Yeah, my great-grandfather made it. If you climb in there and stay long enough, it’ll probably take you somewhere.”
Dawson snooped through my outfits, pausing to look at each one.
“I think it would just take me to Overall Land. I swear, I’ve never seen so many pairs in one place!”
I couldn’t help but grin.
“You’re one to talk, kitty cat princess socks.”
Dawson scoffed.
“Well fuck me for having a sense of childlike whimsy every now and again.”
As I slipped on my boxers, Dawson tossed me my favorite overalls (don’t ask me how he knew), and the Cheese is My Passion shirt. The yellow fabric felt cool against my bruises. I looked around, and it was like everything reset. I felt the tension drain out of me as I laid back on the soft quilt Aunt Jean had made for me not long after moving in.
“Yeah, yeah, you and your whimsy,” I said with a long, cathartic sigh.
Dawson looked at me before glancing at the CRT TV sitting on my dresser in front of the bed. Then he said the four best words he could have at the moment.
“Wanna play Mario Kart?”
There are few questions that you can almost never say no to, and that was one of them.
“That’s some whimsy I can get behind.”
Dawson handed me one of the controllers before making me scoot over on the bed.
“I know I said whimsy first, but can we stop now? It doesn’t sound like a word anymore.”
“We could, but I don’t think that would be very whimsical of us.”
Dawson nudged me in the ribs, enough to be annoying but not enough to aggravate my bruises. I stuck my tongue out at him. He tried to shove his finger in my nose. I faked biting at it.
Once we got serious, for the next thirty minutes, I kicked his ass at Mario Kart. Then we went downstairs.
I pushed my fork around my plate as we sat at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a slice of pie each. I didn’t feel much like eating, but Dawson had baked it himself, so I took a few bites. It was delicious— honestly, one of the best slices of apple pie I’d ever tasted.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have dinner ready. I… I didn’t fall into my tractor.”
“I could’ve told you that,” Dawson said through a mouthful of pie.
“The Pigman tried to tenderize me into the main course, and I just… lost it after that, I guess. If you’ll give me a bit, I can—”
Dawson swallowed hard and thunked his fork down on the table.
“The guy out in the field? He did this to you?”
Dawson had never really asked about the Pigman. Once he got the message that some weird shit just kind of exists around here, he quickly adapted to my method of just letting it be. But nothing besides the Rot had ever really hurt me before. Not on purpose, anyway. Beez had almost put my eye out more than a few times, but chickens will be chickens.
“Yeah, but—“
Dawson stood up from the table and started toward the door.
“Wait! Dawson, no!”
That asshole didn’t even listen to me for a second. He threw open the kitchen door and started marching toward the cornfield like the next super soldier or something. I ran after him.
“Dawson, the Pigman has been here for a long time. He’s bad juju! You saw what he did to me! I don’t know what he’ll do to you, so just leave him alone!”
I grabbed Dawson’s shoulder, and he stopped for a second.
“I’m not going to try and bodyslam him. But he hurt you, and I’m gonna make sure he gets the message that he’s not to do it again.”
With that, he shook me off and kept going. I followed helplessly after him, dreading the bloodbath that I was sure would come.
Without a note of hesitation, Dawson walked into the cornfield and right up to where the Pigman had retreated. He wasn’t immediately run over by a stampede of pigs, but something heavy and tense was in the air.
They both stood there for a minute, quiet and unmoving. Then Dawson stuck a finger out at him.
“You leave my friend alone, you uncultured swine! If you ever lay a hand on him again, I’ll punt you so hard you turn into vegan bacon!”
The Pigman walked closer to him, closing the distance between them to maybe a foot. I cringed and tried to pull Dawson back, but he was solid and unshakeable. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“You won’t touch him again! Do you hear me?!”
Even with Dawson raising his voice, the Pigman’s droopy face remained expressionless. But, to my horror, he raised a hand, ready to strike.
“Don’t hurt him! Please! He didn’t mean it!”
Dawson got into a fighting stance, ready to fight what was clearly a losing battle if need be. I’d still root for him.
“Did too! I totally meant it!”
As the Pigman’s gigantic, greasy hand rose above his head, I prepared for the worst. I knew what those fists could do. I could remember sitting out on the porch with my mother when she was still with me, watching as the Pigman snatched crows out of the air with his surprisingly agile hands, crushed their bodies in between his sausage-like fingers, and shoved their corpses into his dripping maw. The sight always made me nauseous enough to go back inside, but my mom only stared vacantly at him.
“Show me what you got, Pork Chop,” Dawson taunted, and boy, did Pigman deliver.
Instead of Whack-a-Mole-ing him halfway into the ground, he opened his fingers. Only then did I notice two things I hadn’t before: that same musty carpet and dying plant smell in the air and the loop of rope around his middle finger. The protection talisman hung from his hand, and Dawson and I both stared in gut-wrenched shock.
We both turned at the same time and met with the same horrible sight. A trail of dead grass and swollen flies led up to the porch, where the door was swung open. In the distance, I heard the sounds of hooves on wood and the clack of old teeth.
I didn’t really care about any of my belongings, but Aunt Jean was in there, and I didn’t know what this thing was capable of. It was time for me to make the dumb decision to protect the ones I loved. I sprinted toward the porch, Dawson hot on my heels.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A COMPOST HEAP!”
I threw a hand out in front of Dawson as we made it inside, ready to take the brunt of the attack if this thing was still here. The kitchen was in ruins. The last bits of my food were scattered across the floor, growing fat chunks of green and white mold with worms and ants feasting on the remotely edible parts. Aunt Jean was standing by the stairwell, unharmed but with a smear of dark dirt across her dinner dress and looking madder than a mule munching on bumblebees.
“Bastard,” was all she said, in a deep, masculine voice you’d imagine coming from a Navy seal and not a tiny old granny. I looked over to Dawson, who’d moved to examine what remained of the pie he’d brought. I almost wished I hadn’t.
The crust was dried out to hell, and maggots writhed around in what remained of the apple filling. I’d taken out entire hornets’ nests and fed a grape to a spider as big as my hand, but maggots were the one thing I could not handle.
“Nope! Fuuuuuck that,” I said, stumbling back to where I couldn’t see the little white fuckers. But that proved impossible because even the half-eaten slices left on our plates were swarmed with them.
“It took everything.”
Dawson was right. All the pantry doors were open, and the fridge and freezer were barren. There wasn’t a single morsel of edible food left in my house. But that wasn’t what I cared about right now. I cared about the tremble in Dawson’s lip and how his voice shook just a little. I knew he’d worked hard on that pie. He’d done it for me, and so few people did things for me.
“Yeah, it did. It took your amazing pie, and I’m gonna TAKE ITS KNEECAPS!”
I stormed outside and shook my fist at the sky like I was making sure God herself was watching.
“YOU COME OUT HERE AND FACE ME, YOU FUCKING COWARD! I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT MY FRIEND OR KILL MY CROPS! DO YOU HEAR ME? OVER MY DEAD BODY!”
Apparently, the Rot was ready to accept that challenge. I watched the trail of black wind its way out of the cornfield and up to where I stood. As it rose out of the ground, our eyes locked, and it had me right where it wanted me.
submitted by no-fawny-business4 to Nonsleep [link] [comments]
I’m not talking about wild boars, either. Farm pigs aren’t aggressive or carrying some zombie plague (as far as I know), but the danger lies in their appetite. Anyone who lives on a farm with them for even just a few days knows that they are definitely not herbivores. They’ll eat just about anything, all the way up to human bones. I guess that’s one way to get your calcium.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if you fall into a pigpen, you’re more than likely going to be alright, as long as the fall doesn’t knock you out. But let’s say the back of your head hits the ground particularly hard. You’re unconscious. A group of even slightly hungry pigs will probably start with your clothes, boots, hair, and maybe even your ears. But if you give them long enough, once they’ve got going, they’ll do much more permanent damage.
My maternal great-grandfather was a pig farmer. One day in a record-temperature July, he got a bad case of heat stroke and did just that. He was passed out in that pigpen for an hour and a half before my great-grandmother found him and rushed him to the hospital. He lived, but he lost three fingers, had been given plenty of scars that would never fully heal, and had to walk with a cane for the rest of his life.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, suffice it to say, I would rather cover myself in ketchup and honey and take a long nap in a commercial pig sty than have to look out of my kitchen window at night and see that Pigman standing in the fields one more damn time.
Before I make it sound like I hate pigs, I don’t. All domesticated animals come with their own dangers, and most won’t hurt you unless you somehow give them the opportunity, even unintentionally. There’s something to be said about the intelligence and even kindness of the humble swine. But that... thing. It was different. Every time I caught sight of the shine of its dewy, misshapen eyes in the darkness, I felt sick to my stomach.
Hamlet squealed and put his little hooves on my chest as if he could read my thoughts and was pleading his little piggy case. I sat the brush down and scooped him into my arms, rocking him like a babe.
“Oh, you’re not gobbling up anyone’s fingers, are you, little guy?”
He squirmed around and oinked like a giant porky worm, and I gave him a slice of apple before letting him go. Dawson was always bringing apples over now, and the animals loved it. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but so did I.
I gave Hamlet back to his appreciative mother and brushed off the seat of my overalls. The afternoon sweltered, even in the shade of the barn, and my throat was dry. I made sure everyone had plenty of water before going back toward the house. Maybe Aunt Jean could pull some sweet iced tea out of a pocket dimension because I’d forgotten to make more. Dawson was going to kick my ass when he made it over for dinner.
A glass of tea with a lemon slice was waiting on the kitchen table when I went inside, like I’d tupla’d it up. Reading minds would’ve been the least surprising thing Aunt Jean was capable of. I gave it a cursory poison sniff, drank it down, and then popped the lemon slice into my mouth, rind and all. No sense in wasting it.
As soon as I was hydrated, my body immediately decided to ruin it all and jones for a cigarette.
“Hey, Aunt Jean?” I called up the stairs. “Thanks for the tea; I’m gonna step out for a smoke real quick. Don’t forget Dawson will be over in a few hours!”
The only audible response was the steady creak of the rocking chair starting up again upstairs. If she had spoken, I no doubt would’ve heard her call out, “I’ll wear my best, chickadee.”
I rolled a fresh cigarette and stepped outside with my zippo. A faint, musty scent clung to the breeze like a fat tick, and as I looked out to the field, I remembered the rotted roots of some of the corn stalks. My stomach twisted into a double pretzel knot.
It’s one of the worst feelings in the world to know something is going terribly wrong, something that will affect you severely, and not be able to do anything about it. My crop, sewn with my own blood, sweat, and diesel, was dying. As far as I could tell, I’d done nothing wrong or different than usual besides my land being host to “the Evil.”
At that moment, I told myself that no, I wouldn’t sit back and watch it happen. I’d do everything short of black magic to save that corn. Surely, Two-Tooth Steve had something helpful and questionably legal to offer me.
As I shifted my gaze upward from the exceptionally nasty-looking patch, I saw him.
The Pigman had never been out in the day like this before. But there he was, standing with his hammer over his shoulder and staring at me with those inky eyes. He was an even worse sight to behold in clear light. I could see every greasy wrinkle and every pit where his skin settled wrong.
I sat on the porch railing, lit the cigarette, and lifted it to my mouth. I needed it then more than ever.
As I blew a cloud of smoke out of my nose, the Pigman began to move. I looked on in stunned silence as he walked to the edge of the cornfield. We held eye contact for what felt like ages. The cigarette burned down to ash in my hand, and the wind whistling through the stalks was the only sound other than my heavy breathing. Was he going to run up here? Was this it? Would he charge me, pick me up, and chew me down to the bone?
As my life flashed before my eyes for the… let’s face it, I’m not counting anymore, all I could think of was Dawson and how much it was going to suck for him to find my mangled corpse when he came over for dinner. I would’ve gone through the reverse a thousand times if he didn’t have to even once. I couldn’t deny that he was sweet; he didn’t deserve to see shit like that.
The near silence was suddenly broken when the Pigman let out a squeal-scream so loud that he leaned forward into it. Birds took flight in terror from the pines in the distance, and I jumped so hard that I fell forward and hit the ground three feet below. I clutched at my knee and groaned in pain like some fat guy who tripped over a mailbox. The Pigman just watched me, making odd snuffling noises that might’ve been the pig equivalent of giggles.
I pushed myself to my feet and started limping toward the cornfield with my skinned knee. That tore it; I was about to give this swine behind a piece of my mind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?! Why do you like to torture me, you creep?! Why can’t you just leave?! You aren’t paying rent! Go somewhere else!”
I met him at the edge of the field and quickly realized that I’d never been this close to him. The stink of old blood overwhelmed the rotting corn scent, and I felt my breakfast threatening to come back for a visit. Slanted pig teeth, stained brown, poked out from a snout that looked like it was melting. His eyes sat even farther in the sockets than I’d initially thought, giving the whole thing the appearance of a cheap, two-sizes-too-big latex mask. His fingers were crusted with dirt, and his nails were bitten down to bloody quicks. One ear had begun to mold, and the other bore a small yellow livestock tag, which I couldn’t read. As I took it all in, a fly crawled in through his nostril and out of his eye.
I thought faintly about running back to the house, but anger beat out fear.
“You need to find some other farmer to bother! I’m not taking your shit anymore!”
Without considering the consequences for longer than a second, I broke the barrier between us and stepped into the cornfield. The old blood smell grew fresh and overwhelming. All around me, I could suddenly hear the tramping of hooves and the screaming of pigs. Not oinking or squealing— this was a slaughterhouse cry. I tried to step back but froze when I heard something entirely different above the noise.
“Leave, Newport. You have no place on this land,” called out a male voice. Unlike everything else, it came from inside my head. It was harsh but… familiar. It conjured a face and a name in my head, but I couldn’t make either out. All I saw was blurry shapes and colors. The puzzle pieces that filled the gaps in my memories were lost in a woodchipper.
I didn’t know if it was the Pigman who had spoken to me, but I told him off anyway.
“Fuck you. This land, this house, these animals all need me. This is my home. I belong here.”
The hoofbeats got louder, and I felt something hard come down on my ankle. When I fell to the ground, all bets were off. Hit after hit, all over my body, pigs I couldn’t even see ground their feet into my skin as they trampled all over me. I could feel the gritty dirt they left on me with each step, and I choked on the dust they kicked up.
When the onslaught was over, not an inch of my skin was left unbruised and sore. The only thought in my mind was that I’d like to see Dawson try to put an ice pack on all this! Maybe that was just a coping mechanism, though.
I staggered up to my feet, pretty sure my ankle was sprained to hell, and immediately fell back to my knees and puked. There wasn’t a lot left in me to come up, but it still managed to make it out of my nose. I got up again and ran for the house, sparks of pain shooting up my leg as I hit the porch steps and coughed up more stomach acid.
I took the stairs two at a time, racing down the hallway. I nearly had a head-on collision at high speed with the shower as I rocketed into the bathroom. I felt dirty and sick, and the countless bruises stung like wildfire. I stood in the cold stream of water, not even bothering to take off my clothes. Rivulets the color of rotten fruit swirled down the drain as I wept into my hands. My shirt stuck to me like pine tar as I struggled to pull it off.
An indeterminate amount of time passed. It was only Dawson’s voice that pulled me out of disassociation. I realized with some shock that I was so glad he was here. At some point, I’d ended up on the bathroom floor. My injured ankle was still hanging over the tub’s edge, and the water was ice cold.
“Hey, do you need some help there? I brought pie, and I feel like the floor isn’t the best place to enjoy it. I won’t stop you if that’s what you want, though. Where’d you get all those nasty bruises?”
I just nodded, and he took that as permission to help me to my feet and wrap a towel around me. If he had any thoughts about my impromptu coming out, he didn’t voice them. I’d never been that good at modesty, and he probably knew from the beginning.
“Seriously, though. What happened?”
He helped me sit down on my bed, and I rubbed my swelling eye.
“I, uh, fell. Into my tractor.”
Dawson raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t question it. He’d only been in my room a few times before that, and I was surprised by how completely unbothered by his presence there I had become.
“This wardrobe looks like it leads to Narnia,” he said, swinging the door open and looking through my collection of overalls and thrift store t-shirts.
“Yeah, my great-grandfather made it. If you climb in there and stay long enough, it’ll probably take you somewhere.”
Dawson snooped through my outfits, pausing to look at each one.
“I think it would just take me to Overall Land. I swear, I’ve never seen so many pairs in one place!”
I couldn’t help but grin.
“You’re one to talk, kitty cat princess socks.”
Dawson scoffed.
“Well fuck me for having a sense of childlike whimsy every now and again.”
As I slipped on my boxers, Dawson tossed me my favorite overalls (don’t ask me how he knew), and the Cheese is My Passion shirt. The yellow fabric felt cool against my bruises. I looked around, and it was like everything reset. I felt the tension drain out of me as I laid back on the soft quilt Aunt Jean had made for me not long after moving in.
“Yeah, yeah, you and your whimsy,” I said with a long, cathartic sigh.
Dawson looked at me before glancing at the CRT TV sitting on my dresser in front of the bed. Then he said the four best words he could have at the moment.
“Wanna play Mario Kart?”
There are few questions that you can almost never say no to, and that was one of them.
“That’s some whimsy I can get behind.”
Dawson handed me one of the controllers before making me scoot over on the bed.
“I know I said whimsy first, but can we stop now? It doesn’t sound like a word anymore.”
“We could, but I don’t think that would be very whimsical of us.”
Dawson nudged me in the ribs, enough to be annoying but not enough to aggravate my bruises. I stuck my tongue out at him. He tried to shove his finger in my nose. I faked biting at it.
Once we got serious, for the next thirty minutes, I kicked his ass at Mario Kart. Then we went downstairs.
I pushed my fork around my plate as we sat at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a slice of pie each. I didn’t feel much like eating, but Dawson had baked it himself, so I took a few bites. It was delicious— honestly, one of the best slices of apple pie I’d ever tasted.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have dinner ready. I… I didn’t fall into my tractor.”
“I could’ve told you that,” Dawson said through a mouthful of pie.
“The Pigman tried to tenderize me into the main course, and I just… lost it after that, I guess. If you’ll give me a bit, I can—”
Dawson swallowed hard and thunked his fork down on the table.
“The guy out in the field? He did this to you?”
Dawson had never really asked about the Pigman. Once he got the message that some weird shit just kind of exists around here, he quickly adapted to my method of just letting it be. But nothing besides the Rot had ever really hurt me before. Not on purpose, anyway. Beez had almost put my eye out more than a few times, but chickens will be chickens.
“Yeah, but—“
Dawson stood up from the table and started toward the door.
“Wait! Dawson, no!”
That asshole didn’t even listen to me for a second. He threw open the kitchen door and started marching toward the cornfield like the next super soldier or something. I ran after him.
“Dawson, the Pigman has been here for a long time. He’s bad juju! You saw what he did to me! I don’t know what he’ll do to you, so just leave him alone!”
I grabbed Dawson’s shoulder, and he stopped for a second.
“I’m not going to try and bodyslam him. But he hurt you, and I’m gonna make sure he gets the message that he’s not to do it again.”
With that, he shook me off and kept going. I followed helplessly after him, dreading the bloodbath that I was sure would come.
Without a note of hesitation, Dawson walked into the cornfield and right up to where the Pigman had retreated. He wasn’t immediately run over by a stampede of pigs, but something heavy and tense was in the air.
They both stood there for a minute, quiet and unmoving. Then Dawson stuck a finger out at him.
“You leave my friend alone, you uncultured swine! If you ever lay a hand on him again, I’ll punt you so hard you turn into vegan bacon!”
The Pigman walked closer to him, closing the distance between them to maybe a foot. I cringed and tried to pull Dawson back, but he was solid and unshakeable. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“You won’t touch him again! Do you hear me?!”
Even with Dawson raising his voice, the Pigman’s droopy face remained expressionless. But, to my horror, he raised a hand, ready to strike.
“Don’t hurt him! Please! He didn’t mean it!”
Dawson got into a fighting stance, ready to fight what was clearly a losing battle if need be. I’d still root for him.
“Did too! I totally meant it!”
As the Pigman’s gigantic, greasy hand rose above his head, I prepared for the worst. I knew what those fists could do. I could remember sitting out on the porch with my mother when she was still with me, watching as the Pigman snatched crows out of the air with his surprisingly agile hands, crushed their bodies in between his sausage-like fingers, and shoved their corpses into his dripping maw. The sight always made me nauseous enough to go back inside, but my mom only stared vacantly at him.
“Show me what you got, Pork Chop,” Dawson taunted, and boy, did Pigman deliver.
Instead of Whack-a-Mole-ing him halfway into the ground, he opened his fingers. Only then did I notice two things I hadn’t before: that same musty carpet and dying plant smell in the air and the loop of rope around his middle finger. The protection talisman hung from his hand, and Dawson and I both stared in gut-wrenched shock.
We both turned at the same time and met with the same horrible sight. A trail of dead grass and swollen flies led up to the porch, where the door was swung open. In the distance, I heard the sounds of hooves on wood and the clack of old teeth.
I didn’t really care about any of my belongings, but Aunt Jean was in there, and I didn’t know what this thing was capable of. It was time for me to make the dumb decision to protect the ones I loved. I sprinted toward the porch, Dawson hot on my heels.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A COMPOST HEAP!”
I threw a hand out in front of Dawson as we made it inside, ready to take the brunt of the attack if this thing was still here. The kitchen was in ruins. The last bits of my food were scattered across the floor, growing fat chunks of green and white mold with worms and ants feasting on the remotely edible parts. Aunt Jean was standing by the stairwell, unharmed but with a smear of dark dirt across her dinner dress and looking madder than a mule munching on bumblebees.
“Bastard,” was all she said, in a deep, masculine voice you’d imagine coming from a Navy seal and not a tiny old granny. I looked over to Dawson, who’d moved to examine what remained of the pie he’d brought. I almost wished I hadn’t.
The crust was dried out to hell, and maggots writhed around in what remained of the apple filling. I’d taken out entire hornets’ nests and fed a grape to a spider as big as my hand, but maggots were the one thing I could not handle.
“Nope! Fuuuuuck that,” I said, stumbling back to where I couldn’t see the little white fuckers. But that proved impossible because even the half-eaten slices left on our plates were swarmed with them.
“It took everything.”
Dawson was right. All the pantry doors were open, and the fridge and freezer were barren. There wasn’t a single morsel of edible food left in my house. But that wasn’t what I cared about right now. I cared about the tremble in Dawson’s lip and how his voice shook just a little. I knew he’d worked hard on that pie. He’d done it for me, and so few people did things for me.
“Yeah, it did. It took your amazing pie, and I’m gonna TAKE ITS KNEECAPS!”
I stormed outside and shook my fist at the sky like I was making sure God herself was watching.
“YOU COME OUT HERE AND FACE ME, YOU FUCKING COWARD! I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT MY FRIEND OR KILL MY CROPS! DO YOU HEAR ME? OVER MY DEAD BODY!”
Apparently, the Rot was ready to accept that challenge. I watched the trail of black wind its way out of the cornfield and up to where I stood. As it rose out of the ground, our eyes locked, and it had me right where it wanted me.
2024.05.09 08:34 watchersontheweb (Spoilers Extended) The myth of Herne the Hunter, Horn Hill and the Age of (Super) Heroes
Tinfoil and I will be making no proper conclusions, just connections that might've been an influence on the story.
Three tales..
There is a Pryor to be found in Marvel comics as well.. "Madelyne Pryor is a mutant clone of Jean Grey of the X-Men. She was created by Mister Sinister, and her existence was orchestrated to fulfill a grand scheme to birth a living weapon to destroy Apocalypse."
One circle over the other.
Back to Green Arrow
https://imgur.com/a/WjGLajv - Here are the most important images from this issue.
At the end of the story it is discovered that it is Dunston who set all the pieces in motion and who killed Hawthorne for his estate, this was achieved with a sneaky application of poisons/LSD that were hard to trace and that alienated him and his family from the local people. Hern the Hunter is the one who tried to put all the pieces together again with the help from one of his avatars that show up throughout time,Sam the Green Arrow.
This sounds remarkably like something that the Faceless Men would get up to, and is also reminiscent of the Dun Fort during the Defiance of Duskendale.
TLDR: People in the guise of other people, mysteries and sneaky deaths. "Golden age of the First Men" has a bunch of comic connections and odd connections to the FM, the most egregious example being House Banefort and their Hooded Man.
The sigil of House Banefort is a reference by George R. R. Martin to the comic book character Black Hood.
"According to Jess Nevins' Encyclopedia of Golden Age Superheroes, the Black Hood's other enemies include "Panther Men, the Animal Man, the Mist (who can change into a cloud of mist at will), the Mold (who transforms humans into mold), and Octavius, the violinist and author of "the Dance of Death". He also fights the Crow."
And Banefort is again reminiscent of certain other names, Dun Fort and last but not least Dreadfort
submitted by watchersontheweb to asoiaf [link] [comments]
Three tales..
According to legend, Herndon and his twin brother Harlon the Hunter built their castle atop Horn Hill and took to wife the beautiful woods witch who dwelled there, sharing her favors for a hundred years.And last but not least, Green Arrow 1988 issue 26
In the Early Middle Ages, Windsor Forest came under the control of the pagan Angles who worshipped their own pantheon of gods, including Woden, whose Norse equivalent Odin rode across the night sky with his own Wild Hunt and hanged himself on the world tree Yggdrasil to learn the secret of the runic alphabet. It has been suggested that the name Herne is derived from the title Herian, a title used for Woden in his role as leader of fallen warriors (Old Norse: Einherjar). - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herne_the_Hunter#Anglo-Saxon_deity
Oliver Queen investigates the Hawthorne Estate, in Nottingham, England, where he finds the late Alec Hawthorne's cane. As he investigates an indoor garden, he is surprised by the appearance of the man who hired him, Geoffrey Dunston, who is also the Hawthorne family lawyer.Some quick names to jot down..
- Dunston
Dunstonbury was once a castle of House Manderly when they lived along the Mander in the Kingdom of the Reach. When the Manderlys fled the Reach a thousand years before the War of Conquest - WikiHouse Drumm may be a reference by George R. R. Martin to Jericho Drumm, a magic-using superhero known as Brother Voodoo.
Dunstan is an old man, but not as old as Erik Ironmaker. Lord Drumm carries the Valyrian steel sword Red Rain - Wiki
After Princess Saera Targaryen's companion Alys Turnberry was disgraced and gave birth to a bastard daughter in the Vale, she was arranged to marry Lord Dunstan Pryor. - WikiThe Sigil for the Pryors is an eclipse, one circle over the other.
There is a Pryor to be found in Marvel comics as well.. "Madelyne Pryor is a mutant clone of Jean Grey of the X-Men. She was created by Mister Sinister, and her existence was orchestrated to fulfill a grand scheme to birth a living weapon to destroy Apocalypse."
- House Hawthorne
House Hawthorne is a noble house from the Westerlands. According to semi-canon sources, they blazon their arms with interlocked rings of black thorns and pink flowers, on a green field. - WikiThe text states that certain houses trace their roots back to the "golden age of the First Men", a term that could be meant to cover the Dawn Age and the Age of Heroes together.
One circle over the other.
https://imgur.com/a/WjGLajv - Here are the most important images from this issue.
At the end of the story it is discovered that it is Dunston who set all the pieces in motion and who killed Hawthorne for his estate, this was achieved with a sneaky application of poisons/LSD that were hard to trace and that alienated him and his family from the local people. Hern the Hunter is the one who tried to put all the pieces together again with the help from one of his avatars that show up throughout time,
This sounds remarkably like something that the Faceless Men would get up to, and is also reminiscent of the Dun Fort during the Defiance of Duskendale.
TLDR: People in the guise of other people, mysteries and sneaky deaths. "Golden age of the First Men" has a bunch of comic connections and odd connections to the FM, the most egregious example being House Banefort and their Hooded Man.
The sigil of House Banefort is a reference by George R. R. Martin to the comic book character Black Hood.
"According to Jess Nevins' Encyclopedia of Golden Age Superheroes, the Black Hood's other enemies include "Panther Men, the Animal Man, the Mist (who can change into a cloud of mist at will), the Mold (who transforms humans into mold), and Octavius, the violinist and author of "the Dance of Death". He also fights the Crow."
And Banefort is again reminiscent of certain other names, Dun Fort and last but not least Dreadfort
- dun (v.)
"to insist on payment of debt," 1620s, also as a noun, "agent employed to collect debts,"
- dun (adj.)
Old English dunn "dingy brown; dark-colored," perhaps from Celtic (compare Old Irish donn "dark;" Gaelic donn "dull; dark brown; dark;" Welsh dwnn "brownish"), from PIE donnos, dusnos "dark."There is a Don(t)nos who did do underhanded work, a red one.
Dontos is the only surviving member of House Hollard, once close allies and vassals of House Darklyn. As a result of the Defiance of Duskendale, both houses were destroyed and their blood exterminatedTLDR2: Dontos donned dusky drapes then did dun deeds
2024.05.07 23:15 The_Masked_Crow [H] Steelrising, Loddlenaut, Midnights Suns, Arkham City/Knight, Saints Row 3, Other games [W] Offers
IGS Rep: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/1767bvm/the_masked_crows_igs_rep_page/
Still available:
*King Of The Castle *Bravery And Greed *Amanda The Adventurer *Mediterranea Inferno * The Witness * There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition * Children of Silentown * Oaken * Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder * Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition (+ Doctor Strange Defenders Skin) * Batman: Arkham City GOTY * Batman: Arkham Knight (Premium Edition) * Red Lantern * Hell Pie * Twin Mirror * Spirit Of The Island * Lords And Villeins * A Jugglers Tale * Mr. Prepper * Bad Rats
Want:
submitted by The_Masked_Crow to GameTrade [link] [comments]
Still available:
*King Of The Castle *Bravery And Greed *Amanda The Adventurer *Mediterranea Inferno * The Witness * There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition * Children of Silentown * Oaken * Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder * Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition (+ Doctor Strange Defenders Skin) * Batman: Arkham City GOTY * Batman: Arkham Knight (Premium Edition) * Red Lantern * Hell Pie * Twin Mirror * Spirit Of The Island * Lords And Villeins * A Jugglers Tale * Mr. Prepper * Bad Rats
Want:
- Offers
- PayPal
2024.05.07 21:53 The_Masked_Crow [H] Steelrising, Loddlenaut, Midnights Suns, Arkham City/Knight, Saints Row 3, Other games [W] Offers
IGS Rep: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/1767bvm/the_masked_crows_igs_rep_page/
Still available:
*King Of The Castle *Bravery And Greed *Amanda The Adventurer *Mediterranea Inferno * The Witness * There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition * Children of Silentown * Oaken * Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder * Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition (+ Doctor Strange Defenders Skin) * Batman: Arkham City GOTY * Batman: Arkham Knight (Premium Edition) * Red Lantern * Hell Pie * Twin Mirror * Spirit Of The Island * Lords And Villeins * A Jugglers Tale * Mr. Prepper * Bad Rats
Want:
submitted by The_Masked_Crow to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
Still available:
*King Of The Castle *Bravery And Greed *Amanda The Adventurer *Mediterranea Inferno * The Witness * There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition * Children of Silentown * Oaken * Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder * Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition (+ Doctor Strange Defenders Skin) * Batman: Arkham City GOTY * Batman: Arkham Knight (Premium Edition) * Red Lantern * Hell Pie * Twin Mirror * Spirit Of The Island * Lords And Villeins * A Jugglers Tale * Mr. Prepper * Bad Rats
Want:
- Offers
- PayPal
2024.05.07 06:17 leured88 Round 9 Tips and Discussion
Blues (8) vs. Dees (4) - MCG
Cats (2) vs. Port (7) - GMHBA
Dockers (6) vs. Swans (1)- Optus
Hawks (16) vs. Saints (14) - Tasmania
Bombers (5) vs. Giants (3) - Marvel
Tigers (17) vs. Dogs (11) - MCG
Suns (10) vs. North (18) - Darwin
Pies (9) vs. Eagles (15) - Marvel
Crows (12) vs. Lions (13) - Adelaide
submitted by leured88 to AFLweeklytips [link] [comments]
Cats (2) vs. Port (7) - GMHBA
Dockers (6) vs. Swans (1)- Optus
Hawks (16) vs. Saints (14) - Tasmania
Bombers (5) vs. Giants (3) - Marvel
Tigers (17) vs. Dogs (11) - MCG
Suns (10) vs. North (18) - Darwin
Pies (9) vs. Eagles (15) - Marvel
Crows (12) vs. Lions (13) - Adelaide
2024.05.05 14:13 PowerRankingsCentral Post Round 8 r/AFL Power Rankings
Late night!
Crows hold the power. The pies by a goal in a thriller. Swans are the real contenders in Sydney. St Kilda pile on the misery. Melbourne > Geelong. Harley Reid fends off two but Eagles still lose, Fremantle dominant, Hawthorn with the upset and Brisbane comfortably cruise into the next round.
Do you still agree with the previous Pre Round 8 post?
Open to the whole forum, feel free to drop your evaluation of the this weeks AFL teams from 1-18 and I will find the true power rankings after each round, every week!
What are power rankings you ask? Through your own superior wisdom, statistics or even a computer model you've created, you get to decide the best and worst teams ranked in order :o Some individuals like to focus on historical team strength, for others it'll be a pure form guide, whilst some like to use it as a ladder prediction but for most it will be a combination of all, but the choice will be purely up to you!
Entries for Post Round 8 Power Rankings close Friday 9 May 5:30pm AWST.
submitted by PowerRankingsCentral to AFL [link] [comments]
Crows hold the power. The pies by a goal in a thriller. Swans are the real contenders in Sydney. St Kilda pile on the misery. Melbourne > Geelong. Harley Reid fends off two but Eagles still lose, Fremantle dominant, Hawthorn with the upset and Brisbane comfortably cruise into the next round.
Do you still agree with the previous Pre Round 8 post?
Open to the whole forum, feel free to drop your evaluation of the this weeks AFL teams from 1-18 and I will find the true power rankings after each round, every week!
What are power rankings you ask? Through your own superior wisdom, statistics or even a computer model you've created, you get to decide the best and worst teams ranked in order :o Some individuals like to focus on historical team strength, for others it'll be a pure form guide, whilst some like to use it as a ladder prediction but for most it will be a combination of all, but the choice will be purely up to you!
Entries for Post Round 8 Power Rankings close Friday 9 May 5:30pm AWST.
2024.05.05 08:25 Lachy995 Where would you guys put the other teams on a tier list?
Was discussing this with a mate and got curious on what other pies supporters thought of the other teams for me at the moment my ranking would be.
submitted by Lachy995 to collingwoodfc [link] [comments]
- Collingwood
- Western Bulldogs
- Saint kilda
- Fremantle
- GWS
- Adelaide Crows
- gold Coast
- Brisbane Lions
- North Melbourne
- Sydney Swans
- Port Adelaide
- Geelong Cats
- Esseden
- Hawthorn
- West Coast
- Melbourne
- Richmond
- Carlton
2024.05.05 07:02 Hittheuniversehard85 Reality Check
I’ve been saying it to friends and family for weeks, this 7 week run (beginning with the Cats) before the bye is going to be telling and 2 weeks in it couldn’t have gone worse
Everyone was up and about with our season start but I was very alarmed when we dropped to the Crows. Prior to that, we needed a miracle to beat the Lions and then beat all bottom dwellers.
I can genuinely see us losing 4 of the next 5 and I’m not even confident of nailing the Suns , albeit at Home. We should have beaten the Pies who were without JDG and Mitchell, easily in their top 10 and we still couldn’t do it.
Am I being pessimistic? I think our top end talent is elite but the bottom end talent is VFL level and you win flags off your depth which we have but the quality of depth is the issue.
It’s also absurd we play the Cats again less than 8 weeks apart.
Oh and PS, I know we have been destroyed with injuries.
submitted by Hittheuniversehard85 to CarltonBlues [link] [comments]
Everyone was up and about with our season start but I was very alarmed when we dropped to the Crows. Prior to that, we needed a miracle to beat the Lions and then beat all bottom dwellers.
I can genuinely see us losing 4 of the next 5 and I’m not even confident of nailing the Suns , albeit at Home. We should have beaten the Pies who were without JDG and Mitchell, easily in their top 10 and we still couldn’t do it.
Am I being pessimistic? I think our top end talent is elite but the bottom end talent is VFL level and you win flags off your depth which we have but the quality of depth is the issue.
It’s also absurd we play the Cats again less than 8 weeks apart.
Oh and PS, I know we have been destroyed with injuries.
2024.05.04 22:52 98Em Birds/corvids specifically
Does anyone else here really love Corvids?? I've come across a few other people who also happen to be autistic and have an unconditional love for them and I find it endearing.
I wonder if it's because they're so guarded and it takes a long time for them to trust new people and if you're nice to them they remember you forever? Maybe I'm thinking too deep into it lol.
It started about 2 years ago when I saw a video of a guy who rescued a raven called Loki. I started doing research about them and I'm in crow Reddit, have a peanut debt and an emergency crow nuts stash in my bag at all times.
I've been noticing crows ever since then or maybe even before but this is the earliest memory I have of being fascinated.
I've found out (and also forgot) a lot about them, what they eat what they like, what they can't eat, what's not safe for them, how they behave and react, what their social system is like, you name it.
I'm fascinated when other people have close friendships with them. I feed a group of jackdaws from my window most mornings. It started as trying to befriend a really glossy crow nearby but they were outnumbered and were too scared. But I feed them everywhere I go, it sounds silly but if I see one and feel too embarrassed or wary of others around me reacting to it as 'unusual' and being perceived I feel really sad and stop myself from showing my joy/interest.
I recently went to a bird of prey centre in York and was amazed. I wasn't expecting to find a such a love for vultures either but they were amazing. I was in such awe. It wasn't expensive to enter considering the shows during the day were free and very involved/personal. My friend and I had to duck a few times because the birds sometimes mis-judge their landing as they're flying over the crowd but I loved that.
I almost cried (with joy?) because they had a white necked raven and two African pied crows and I found out you can sponsor the birds and get a welcome pack with a photo of the bird then you get to hold the bird or a different one if that particular bird isn't suitable for handling.
The team are so passionate and knowledgeable, especially the staff member who narrated the bird shows.
And rooks!! On a trip to Manchester to an event once we stopped at a service station where there must have been about 20 of them. Very friendly and used to people also, I got to feed them in the car park before we set off (read: had to feed them, despite my friend standing shaking his head at me in amusement). They look so spooky, in an admirable way.
It's a little goal of mine to be able to go back and hold the raven I sponsored one day. But I'm also probably going to be so overwhelmed with excitement that I'll not be able to process it fully.
It's something that I get a lot of joy from :)
submitted by 98Em to autismUK [link] [comments]
I wonder if it's because they're so guarded and it takes a long time for them to trust new people and if you're nice to them they remember you forever? Maybe I'm thinking too deep into it lol.
It started about 2 years ago when I saw a video of a guy who rescued a raven called Loki. I started doing research about them and I'm in crow Reddit, have a peanut debt and an emergency crow nuts stash in my bag at all times.
I've been noticing crows ever since then or maybe even before but this is the earliest memory I have of being fascinated.
I've found out (and also forgot) a lot about them, what they eat what they like, what they can't eat, what's not safe for them, how they behave and react, what their social system is like, you name it.
I'm fascinated when other people have close friendships with them. I feed a group of jackdaws from my window most mornings. It started as trying to befriend a really glossy crow nearby but they were outnumbered and were too scared. But I feed them everywhere I go, it sounds silly but if I see one and feel too embarrassed or wary of others around me reacting to it as 'unusual' and being perceived I feel really sad and stop myself from showing my joy/interest.
I recently went to a bird of prey centre in York and was amazed. I wasn't expecting to find a such a love for vultures either but they were amazing. I was in such awe. It wasn't expensive to enter considering the shows during the day were free and very involved/personal. My friend and I had to duck a few times because the birds sometimes mis-judge their landing as they're flying over the crowd but I loved that.
I almost cried (with joy?) because they had a white necked raven and two African pied crows and I found out you can sponsor the birds and get a welcome pack with a photo of the bird then you get to hold the bird or a different one if that particular bird isn't suitable for handling.
The team are so passionate and knowledgeable, especially the staff member who narrated the bird shows.
And rooks!! On a trip to Manchester to an event once we stopped at a service station where there must have been about 20 of them. Very friendly and used to people also, I got to feed them in the car park before we set off (read: had to feed them, despite my friend standing shaking his head at me in amusement). They look so spooky, in an admirable way.
It's a little goal of mine to be able to go back and hold the raven I sponsored one day. But I'm also probably going to be so overwhelmed with excitement that I'll not be able to process it fully.
It's something that I get a lot of joy from :)
2024.05.04 18:42 Reddit_Books New Releases for May 2024
New Releases for May 2024
Data courtesy http://www.bookreporter.comFor more discussion, see the monthly New Releases post.
2024.05.04 16:34 hotDot1 Astrid- La Plume Noire
Astrid’s New Collection! Copied text from email: (Not affiliated, just a fan of Astrid’s art). Just wanted to share since it hasn’t been yet! Ajevie has sample pre-order up as well.
}..rustling feathers..{ I have just reopened the shop with the arrival of a collection I have planned to do for many years. This idea has been simmering back in the days of Blooddrop even! It has been a long, looooong time coming.
Today, I bring you La Plume Noire (The Black Feather) which is a collection of 24 perfumes inspired by crows and ravens. I am immensely pleased with how these perfumes have turned out. While smelling them as I bottled, I kept thinking, "Oh yes. This one is excellent! Oh, this one came out really good, too!" over and over again. Not that I put out perfumes that I think are mediocre, but sometimes some just strike me as slightly more successful than others. In this collection, there are a lot of those that I consider the latter.
I just love crows. We have so many around here and even a few years ago we had a family of them that kept showing up in our yard while mom taught her youngsters about being an awesome black bird. And two winters ago I kept seeing a deceased crow's body in town and that bothered me so much, so I wrapped it up, took it home, and had a burial for it in my back pasture, surrounding it with red roses (inspiration for the perfume Funeral for a Crow). Crows (and ravens and all the corvids) are such cool birds. They are smart and ruthless and silly and elegant. They are just amazing creatures! I know many of you feel the same.
The other current collections are a Study of Lilac, Whinnies (the marshmallow ponies), Valentine's Day, and a Study of Lychee.
The next scheduled should be late June or early July, I think. Possibly sooner!
Be well, Astrid xo
Free USPS shipping on all US orders $75 and up. Free Merci gift perfume with orders of $100 and up
Branwen-
Jasmine sambac, honeysuckle, and strawberry jam.
Caw-
Vanilla musk, amber, pumpkin muffin, candied cherry, and rose geranium.
Corvus-
Shimmering orange sugar, fir balsam absolute, spearmint, Japanese peppermint, and shea.
Crow's Eye-
Neroli, orange essence, cucumber, Oman frankincense, aloe, teak wood, and fern leaf.
El Grajo-
Desert sage, prickly pear, cedar, rose, sandalwood, cinnamon, and palm sugar.
Ever So Clever-
Pink lilac, double distilled patchouli, beeswax, willow, and bright ginger.
Funeral for a Crow-
Soft and secretive rose petals, mourning violets, tonka, myrrh, and golden tobacco.
Gifts Left-
Cherry pie, patchouli, amyris, and sandalwood.
Grawk-
A blend of oranges, green clover, lime, and aloe.
Hitchcock-
Rosewood, mourning violets, shadowy musk, dark patchouli, African geranium, and lemon tea tree.
Huginn & Muninn-
Lush Nordic woods, fossilized amber, craggy oakmoss, juniper, dry lavender, and coastal winds.
La Plume Noire-
Black currant, shadowy musk, star anise, black pepper, green mandarin, and jasmine sambac.
Merlin-
Clean bath linens, blueberry jam, and blueberry muffins. If you are interested in the story behind this perfume, please see the website.
Mischief Maker-
Honeydew melon, pink grapefruit, patchouli, apple, lily of the valley, pear, and white musk.
Nevermore-
Mourning violets, black currant, vanilla, oakmoss, and chamber door accord.
Noir Irisé-
Turquoise musk, clover, aloe, blueberry, green cognac, cucumber, peony, white musk, and ivy.
Rookery-
Early morning mist, pinion pine, pink grapefruit, juniper berry CO2, and tulsi.
Shiny Things-
Shimmering ginger, orange blossom absolute, sweet peach, warm teakwood, wild herbs, and glowing mahogany musk.
Soaring-
A cool fougere, lilac, cloud accord, sunshine beaming off feathers, and wind accord.
The Morrigan-
Golden armored musk, myrrh, amber, vanilla bean, jasmine absolute, benzoin, lemon, gardenia, clove, rose, and patchouli.
The Ravens & The Tower-
Smoked oud, golden amber, lemon, Australian sandalwood, petitgrain sur fleurs, tonka, and rising sun accord.
Trickster Bird-
Peach, tobacco, amber, and tonka bean.
Unkindness-
Tobacco, vanilla, patchouli, cashmere musk, black tea, clove, amber, and vetiver.
White Raven-
Sea spray, white tea, fougere, gardenia, and Egyptian jasmine.
submitted by hotDot1 to Indiemakeupandmore [link] [comments]
}..rustling feathers..{ I have just reopened the shop with the arrival of a collection I have planned to do for many years. This idea has been simmering back in the days of Blooddrop even! It has been a long, looooong time coming.
Today, I bring you La Plume Noire (The Black Feather) which is a collection of 24 perfumes inspired by crows and ravens. I am immensely pleased with how these perfumes have turned out. While smelling them as I bottled, I kept thinking, "Oh yes. This one is excellent! Oh, this one came out really good, too!" over and over again. Not that I put out perfumes that I think are mediocre, but sometimes some just strike me as slightly more successful than others. In this collection, there are a lot of those that I consider the latter.
I just love crows. We have so many around here and even a few years ago we had a family of them that kept showing up in our yard while mom taught her youngsters about being an awesome black bird. And two winters ago I kept seeing a deceased crow's body in town and that bothered me so much, so I wrapped it up, took it home, and had a burial for it in my back pasture, surrounding it with red roses (inspiration for the perfume Funeral for a Crow). Crows (and ravens and all the corvids) are such cool birds. They are smart and ruthless and silly and elegant. They are just amazing creatures! I know many of you feel the same.
The other current collections are a Study of Lilac, Whinnies (the marshmallow ponies), Valentine's Day, and a Study of Lychee.
The next scheduled should be late June or early July, I think. Possibly sooner!
Be well, Astrid xo
Free USPS shipping on all US orders $75 and up. Free Merci gift perfume with orders of $100 and up
Branwen-
Jasmine sambac, honeysuckle, and strawberry jam.
Caw-
Vanilla musk, amber, pumpkin muffin, candied cherry, and rose geranium.
Corvus-
Shimmering orange sugar, fir balsam absolute, spearmint, Japanese peppermint, and shea.
Crow's Eye-
Neroli, orange essence, cucumber, Oman frankincense, aloe, teak wood, and fern leaf.
El Grajo-
Desert sage, prickly pear, cedar, rose, sandalwood, cinnamon, and palm sugar.
Ever So Clever-
Pink lilac, double distilled patchouli, beeswax, willow, and bright ginger.
Funeral for a Crow-
Soft and secretive rose petals, mourning violets, tonka, myrrh, and golden tobacco.
Gifts Left-
Cherry pie, patchouli, amyris, and sandalwood.
Grawk-
A blend of oranges, green clover, lime, and aloe.
Hitchcock-
Rosewood, mourning violets, shadowy musk, dark patchouli, African geranium, and lemon tea tree.
Huginn & Muninn-
Lush Nordic woods, fossilized amber, craggy oakmoss, juniper, dry lavender, and coastal winds.
La Plume Noire-
Black currant, shadowy musk, star anise, black pepper, green mandarin, and jasmine sambac.
Merlin-
Clean bath linens, blueberry jam, and blueberry muffins. If you are interested in the story behind this perfume, please see the website.
Mischief Maker-
Honeydew melon, pink grapefruit, patchouli, apple, lily of the valley, pear, and white musk.
Nevermore-
Mourning violets, black currant, vanilla, oakmoss, and chamber door accord.
Noir Irisé-
Turquoise musk, clover, aloe, blueberry, green cognac, cucumber, peony, white musk, and ivy.
Rookery-
Early morning mist, pinion pine, pink grapefruit, juniper berry CO2, and tulsi.
Shiny Things-
Shimmering ginger, orange blossom absolute, sweet peach, warm teakwood, wild herbs, and glowing mahogany musk.
Soaring-
A cool fougere, lilac, cloud accord, sunshine beaming off feathers, and wind accord.
The Morrigan-
Golden armored musk, myrrh, amber, vanilla bean, jasmine absolute, benzoin, lemon, gardenia, clove, rose, and patchouli.
The Ravens & The Tower-
Smoked oud, golden amber, lemon, Australian sandalwood, petitgrain sur fleurs, tonka, and rising sun accord.
Trickster Bird-
Peach, tobacco, amber, and tonka bean.
Unkindness-
Tobacco, vanilla, patchouli, cashmere musk, black tea, clove, amber, and vetiver.
White Raven-
Sea spray, white tea, fougere, gardenia, and Egyptian jasmine.
2024.05.04 01:07 stlatos Priests Imitating Birds Singing & Karšiptar, the Chief of Birds
Dodge argued for an inherited IE style of priestly chanting in imitation of birds (Dodge 2021). Most of this comes from the Rig Veda, both the hymns of priests being compared to birds and birds like priests when singing. He also gives Iranian parallels for Karšift, the chief of birds who knows how to speak and brought religion to the shelter of the Zoroastrian faithful (“…they recite the Avesta in the language of the birds”). A relatively small amount of other IE evidence for its PIE date also exists.
Since Av. Karšiptar- must have meant ‘black bird’ (*kWersi- in compounds vs. *kW(e)rsno- ‘black’ is likely due to PIE *kWersino- (Whalen 2022)), it probably referred to the raven (mentioned often in myths). I see it as related to later Iranian words for ‘magpie’: Wx. kirẓepč / kižipči, Shu. [kixe:pts] and the loans >> Kh. kiṣipi, Bu. γašep. These might all come from diminutive *karšiptar-kī (if Karšiptar- ‘raven’ vs. *karšiptar-kī ‘magpie’) with changes:
*karšiptarkī > *karšiptarčī > *karšipta_čī (r-r > r-0) > *karšaiptčī > > *karšaip(t)šī
Some would later have *š-š > š-0 (or similar) to explain -pč vs. -p.
A problem with this simple analysis is that later writing called the čarg \ čaxrawāk the name of Karshift, & čixrāz the chief of birds (Redard 2018). These seem like obvious forms of later Persian čakāvak ‘lark’. I would say that since they’re from *kekro-woHkW- ( > IIr. *cakravāk(a) / cakravāc(a) ) they show that PIE named many birds with this root (Ks. kakawáŋk ‘chicken’, Kh. kahàk ‘hen’, A. kakwéeki; further OIr cearc ‘hen’, G. kréx ‘corncrake’, kerkithalís ‘stork’, kérknos ‘hawk / rooster’, Skt. kr(a)kara- ‘kind of partridge’) and it doesn’t matter that 2 of the birds so named were confused later. A second case of confusion (that might show 3 birds were seen as a set, below) is Skt. cakravāka- ‘ruddy shelduck’. For Shina kó(:)rkuts- ‘crow’, karkaámuš / karkaámuts ‘hen’, kʌ´kǝts- ‘pheasant’ being related to Ks. kakawáŋk, etc., optional *w > *v > nasal *ṽ is needed (Whalen 2023b). There are many dialects of Shina, but these changes need to be optional in Proto-Dardic (at the least) to account for other similar changes in many Dardic languages.
Another problem with this simple analysis comes from its relation to the Iranian Senmurgh, which was created first among birds, but is not their chief. Why? I think these 2 birds, in a mostly mythical version separated from real eagles & ravens, were supposedly the birds that carried the Sun & Moon, related to enigmatic Indic traditions (Norelius 2016, Whalen 2023a). Indeed, the raven as the thief of the Moon or its bearer is common in myth. These, at least at one point, were equated with the PIE Divine Twins. Dodge’s mention of the Indic story of a pair of ruddy shelducks that always united at dawn is a third bird that might have had to do with their common wife, the Dawn (due to their reddish coloring), making a set of 3 based on colors (if a golden eagle, or a similar bird). Though the Twins were often horses, a variety of forms for gods is also known, such as for Trita/Tishtriya.
Dodge, Erick (2021) The Chants of Birds and Poet-Priests in the Vedic, Indo-Iranian, and Indo-European Traditions
https://www.academia.edu/66612017
Morgenstierne, Georg (1936) Iranian Elements In Khowar
http://www.mahraka.com/pdf/iranianElementsInKhowar.pdf
Norelius, Per-Johan (2016) The Honey-Eating Birds and the Tree of Life
https://www.academia.edu/37874254
Redard, Céline (2012) L'oiseau Karšiptar
https://www.academia.edu/1557809
Redard, Céline (2018) Karšift
https://www.academia.edu/36586331
Whalen, Sean (2022)
https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/w01466/importance_of_armenian_retention_of_vowels_in/
Whalen, Sean (2023a)
https://www.reddit.com/mythology/comments/10qeu8f/the_separation_of_the_sun_and_moon/
Whalen, Sean (2023b) Indo-Iranian Nasal Sonorants (r > n, y > ñ, w > m)
https://www.academia.edu/106688624
submitted by stlatos to mythology [link] [comments]
Since Av. Karšiptar- must have meant ‘black bird’ (*kWersi- in compounds vs. *kW(e)rsno- ‘black’ is likely due to PIE *kWersino- (Whalen 2022)), it probably referred to the raven (mentioned often in myths). I see it as related to later Iranian words for ‘magpie’: Wx. kirẓepč / kižipči, Shu. [kixe:pts] and the loans >> Kh. kiṣipi, Bu. γašep. These might all come from diminutive *karšiptar-kī (if Karšiptar- ‘raven’ vs. *karšiptar-kī ‘magpie’) with changes:
*karšiptarkī > *karšiptarčī > *karšipta_čī (r-r > r-0) > *karšaiptčī > > *karšaip(t)šī
Some would later have *š-š > š-0 (or similar) to explain -pč vs. -p.
A problem with this simple analysis is that later writing called the čarg \ čaxrawāk the name of Karshift, & čixrāz the chief of birds (Redard 2018). These seem like obvious forms of later Persian čakāvak ‘lark’. I would say that since they’re from *kekro-woHkW- ( > IIr. *cakravāk(a) / cakravāc(a) ) they show that PIE named many birds with this root (Ks. kakawáŋk ‘chicken’, Kh. kahàk ‘hen’, A. kakwéeki; further OIr cearc ‘hen’, G. kréx ‘corncrake’, kerkithalís ‘stork’, kérknos ‘hawk / rooster’, Skt. kr(a)kara- ‘kind of partridge’) and it doesn’t matter that 2 of the birds so named were confused later. A second case of confusion (that might show 3 birds were seen as a set, below) is Skt. cakravāka- ‘ruddy shelduck’. For Shina kó(:)rkuts- ‘crow’, karkaámuš / karkaámuts ‘hen’, kʌ´kǝts- ‘pheasant’ being related to Ks. kakawáŋk, etc., optional *w > *v > nasal *ṽ is needed (Whalen 2023b). There are many dialects of Shina, but these changes need to be optional in Proto-Dardic (at the least) to account for other similar changes in many Dardic languages.
Another problem with this simple analysis comes from its relation to the Iranian Senmurgh, which was created first among birds, but is not their chief. Why? I think these 2 birds, in a mostly mythical version separated from real eagles & ravens, were supposedly the birds that carried the Sun & Moon, related to enigmatic Indic traditions (Norelius 2016, Whalen 2023a). Indeed, the raven as the thief of the Moon or its bearer is common in myth. These, at least at one point, were equated with the PIE Divine Twins. Dodge’s mention of the Indic story of a pair of ruddy shelducks that always united at dawn is a third bird that might have had to do with their common wife, the Dawn (due to their reddish coloring), making a set of 3 based on colors (if a golden eagle, or a similar bird). Though the Twins were often horses, a variety of forms for gods is also known, such as for Trita/Tishtriya.
Dodge, Erick (2021) The Chants of Birds and Poet-Priests in the Vedic, Indo-Iranian, and Indo-European Traditions
https://www.academia.edu/66612017
Morgenstierne, Georg (1936) Iranian Elements In Khowar
http://www.mahraka.com/pdf/iranianElementsInKhowar.pdf
Norelius, Per-Johan (2016) The Honey-Eating Birds and the Tree of Life
https://www.academia.edu/37874254
Redard, Céline (2012) L'oiseau Karšiptar
https://www.academia.edu/1557809
Redard, Céline (2018) Karšift
https://www.academia.edu/36586331
Whalen, Sean (2022)
https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/w01466/importance_of_armenian_retention_of_vowels_in/
Whalen, Sean (2023a)
https://www.reddit.com/mythology/comments/10qeu8f/the_separation_of_the_sun_and_moon/
Whalen, Sean (2023b) Indo-Iranian Nasal Sonorants (r > n, y > ñ, w > m)
https://www.academia.edu/106688624
2024.05.02 21:27 veggiemaniac My current progress with local crows, a little over 1 year in.
Hey all. I don't have anything really exciting but I just thought I'd share about the current state of my negotiations with the neighborhood crows. This is a safe space to be a corvid nerd, right?
I'm in a borderline suburban/rural area and the crows here are NOT tame. They aren't dependent on handouts and they generally show no interest in interacting with people. They are spooked if you look directly at them and make eye contact; they will fly away. It takes a long time and a lot of patience to convince these crows that I will not grab them and bake them into a pie. Because they are pretty sure that I want to grab them and bake them into a pie, or else why would I be staring at them like a creeper?
Last summer I managed to form an alliance with a mom, dad, and 3-4 kid crows in the neighborhood. The terms were basically that I must leave food out for them, but I should not under any circumstances come outside while they were present. NOT COOL BRO. I was fine with that. During the winter, they only showed up very rarely, and I think last year's kids have moved away.
Then, just as winter was ending I started seeing 1 or 2 crows around my house once a week or so, and they would take peanuts if I put some out and went back inside. I assume this is mom and dad again., like last year. Now even though the crows do not come every day like they did last spring, I still see them once in a while and they seem to be getting physically closer to me, testing me out a little bit. One in particular has been very purposefully getting in my line of sight, so I will notice him. It's really obvious, like when I'm mowing the lawn he slowly swoops down to the ground about 20 feet in front of me and then swoops up to a low branch just above my head level, in a tree that I am obviously about to walk under, and he just watches me walk past. I've been trying to just not look at him, and leave him alone, he will decide how close he is willing to get.
After he swooped in front of me like that, I put out some peanuts and mealworms for him but I continued mowing the grass. He actually took some, and came back multiple times, while I was walking up and down the lawn. He definitely kept an eye on me, because he still is not convinced that I won't grab him and bake him into a pie.
All in all, I am seeing the crows less frequently this year but at least one of them seems a lot more trusting of me this year. So far. I suspect that one of them is figuring out that I am feeding it on purpose, it's not stealing my food, I won't chase it away, etc.
submitted by veggiemaniac to crows [link] [comments]
I'm in a borderline suburban/rural area and the crows here are NOT tame. They aren't dependent on handouts and they generally show no interest in interacting with people. They are spooked if you look directly at them and make eye contact; they will fly away. It takes a long time and a lot of patience to convince these crows that I will not grab them and bake them into a pie. Because they are pretty sure that I want to grab them and bake them into a pie, or else why would I be staring at them like a creeper?
Last summer I managed to form an alliance with a mom, dad, and 3-4 kid crows in the neighborhood. The terms were basically that I must leave food out for them, but I should not under any circumstances come outside while they were present. NOT COOL BRO. I was fine with that. During the winter, they only showed up very rarely, and I think last year's kids have moved away.
Then, just as winter was ending I started seeing 1 or 2 crows around my house once a week or so, and they would take peanuts if I put some out and went back inside. I assume this is mom and dad again., like last year. Now even though the crows do not come every day like they did last spring, I still see them once in a while and they seem to be getting physically closer to me, testing me out a little bit. One in particular has been very purposefully getting in my line of sight, so I will notice him. It's really obvious, like when I'm mowing the lawn he slowly swoops down to the ground about 20 feet in front of me and then swoops up to a low branch just above my head level, in a tree that I am obviously about to walk under, and he just watches me walk past. I've been trying to just not look at him, and leave him alone, he will decide how close he is willing to get.
After he swooped in front of me like that, I put out some peanuts and mealworms for him but I continued mowing the grass. He actually took some, and came back multiple times, while I was walking up and down the lawn. He definitely kept an eye on me, because he still is not convinced that I won't grab him and bake him into a pie.
All in all, I am seeing the crows less frequently this year but at least one of them seems a lot more trusting of me this year. So far. I suspect that one of them is figuring out that I am feeding it on purpose, it's not stealing my food, I won't chase it away, etc.
2024.05.01 07:03 NinjaBuddha13 Where are my doomers? Where are my they'll-get-swept-in-the-first-round-ers? Maybe yall will listen to Odd Ball now and knock it off with those negative waves. ON TO ROUND 2!!
 | I also have a really good recipe for crow pot pie. Just let me know if you want it. submitted by NinjaBuddha13 to ColoradoAvalanche [link] [comments] |
2024.04.30 22:06 Garetjax1212 White Mountain - Roadside America by Lewis T. Johnson - 1000 pieces
 | Second puzzle I’ve posted on here, second puzzle to be missing a piece. The first puzzle, the piece re-appeared, however this puzzle was a charity shop find and I suspect the piece will never be found. submitted by Garetjax1212 to Jigsawpuzzles [link] [comments] Puzzle was completed in more or less one 5 hour sitting. Nice vibrant pieces, however the pieces don’t interlock very well. Unable to perform the lift test, pieces won’t hold together enough for me to lift a portion off the table, never mind all of it. |
2024.04.29 06:00 CheetahChrome Happiness is 320 Miles of Time When Traversing a 266 Mile Dead Zone
 | submitted by CheetahChrome to BlazerEV [link] [comments] Not 92 outside...it was 75. Picked up the new Blazer EV RWD in Trinidad Colorado where I had the bag man meet me to exchange my 17 Jeep Grand Cherokee for the Blazer EV RS. I then drove south to Albuquerque making one stop at Wagon Mound New Mexico at Electrify America where I met a gentleman with a 17 Bolt. How classic, two Chevy's at the charging station. Bye Bye Miss American Pie... Saying goodbye, I headed on south to my destiny. Can't Find My Way Home (This photo may or may not have been taken in New Mexico) I knew I needed to have a full charge to make it home in El Paso after Albuquerque. For there is this dead zone, as I call it, to where there are only two towns with individual, one company, charge stations. Because in New Mexico I've discovered that when there is only one company with two outlets in a town, it's a crap shoot if they even work; and usually they don't. So off I went. To be clear, I have never done this particular route before, I then loaded up the juice. Picture above at 100% and an erroneous outside temperature of 90 degrees. Facts Keep in mind, the actual distance is 260 miles as the crow drives down I25. I dutifully checked with Google Maps in the car for reassurance. It calmly stated that I would have -25% upon arrival at my destination. WTF I decided upon leaving Albuquerque to keep it slow and set the ACC to 70, instead of 75 mph, or the 80mph I would do in my former Jeep Grand Cherokee which I had traded in in previous trips, and wisely put myself in the right lane. 100 miles I attempted to charge in a small town, roughly 100 miles in, named Socorro at a Charge Point and it was no bueno due to, it being unable to charge my card; nice. Travel On So, I steeled on and skipped attempting to charge at Truth or Consequences. I took the Consequences and drove on. At times I would drop to 68 and then at one section of the road decided to follow a semi who was going between 68 and 62mph. I ACC'ed him with three bars in the background of his rig and enjoyed the night as it passed by. I think I pissed him off after a while and he seemed to slow down to get me to pass...to which I did for I was close enough to Las Cruces at that time. One Last Chance at Love I made it to Las Cruces roughly 50 miles left, which did have chargers, but decided to again roll the dice. For it said I had ~80/90 mile range on 50 miles left. Luck is a Lady tonight... The last 40 miles were uneventful, and I made it home with ~40 miles left to spare. Sister EUV and Blazer EV Moral of the story: 70mph on the highway with 320-mile range on a 260 trip was only off by 30 or so miles. White knuckle it people. Don't be afraid and take the plunge.... |
2024.04.29 04:51 Independent_Jacket_5 What if Nathan Hale appeared in PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale or a Spiritual Successor? (Costumes, Moveset, Intro Animations, Win Animations, Potential Supers, Taunts and Potential Story)
 | A while ago I posted my pitch for if one of Resistance's main protagonists, Nathan Hale appeared in PlayStation All Stars or a Spiritual Successor. I was happy with the results on that post but I wasn't fond of the image quality as well as the costumes being mediocre (mainly the FoM Army Ranger costume). So without a further ado I present to you my ideas. submitted by Independent_Jacket_5 to resistance [link] [comments] This has been something I have been thinking of for a while and it's what if the Sony crossover 'PlayStation All Stars' featured a Resistance Character as a playable character. Resistance was featured in PlayStation All Stars with Resistance 2's San Francisco appearing as a Stage, a Chimera Hybrid as a Minion (The Player's Cheerleader of sorts), Resistance 3's Satan appeared as the Stage Hazard in Ape Escape's Time Station Stage and the Hedgehog Grenade appeared as an Item. San Francisco Stage Resistance 3's Satan invading Ape Escape's Time Station The PSASBR Beta did feature a Chimeran Hybrid on the Character Select screen, but I assume it was cut for unknown reasons. However, I believe that Hale would have been a good fit due to his incredible feats shown in Fall of Man and Resistance 2. Chimera Hybrid in the middle between Cole MacGrath and Warhawk's Eucadian Solider I developed three costumes for Nathan Hale with four colour schemes for each costume. -Lieutenant of Echo Squad (Default Costume)
Lieutenant of Echo Squad Costume Army Ranger SRPA Black Ops Operative (Credit for the render goes to Pino44io on DeviantArt) Additionally, I was brainstorming different intros that Hale could have.
I'm aware that weapons like the Cryogun, Mutator, Atomizer and Axe/Sledgehammer appeared in Resistance 3/Burning Skies (games Hale didn't appear in). But I think it wouldn't matter i.e., UMvC3's Frank (based on his Dead Rising 1 appearance) using Dead Rising 2 Weaponry in his moveset. I think Hale's supers have potential in a fighting game. His Level 1 could be one of these three.
Bullseye Tagging an enemy in Resistance 3 Hale's Level 2 could be one of these three
Infected Hale (Taken from Darren Duach's Resistance 2 portfolio) I think Nathan Hale's Story could be set during the events of Resistance 2 (around the Lousiana section) where the Chimeran Infection is taking its toll on Hale, and he doesn’t have long to live. It also doesn’t help that Daedalus can telepathically communicate with him trying to persuade him to reject humanity and embrace the Chimeran invasion. SRPA &/or Dr Malikov inform Hale that an unknown powerful source (Polygon Man) is out there which could aid SRPA in defeating Daedalus and maybe the Chimeran Invasion as a whole (I haven’t really planned this out so too much so no rival or ending. Hale’s story could go anywhere from there). Lastly, I was thinking of taunts that Hale could have. Is that all you got: Hale simply spits on the ground and says, “Is that all you got?” Original Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvYwU2qNz7E at 34:02 Project Abrham: Hale looks at an old photo of Project Abraham of him and the other SRPA Super Soldiers and puts it back in his pocket (based on the opening animation of FoM where Hale looks at the photo before leaving to fight + a nod to the Resistance Prequel Project Abraham). Daedalus: Hale suddenly hears Daedalus telepathically communicating to him as he says “They are calling to us. Can you hear them? It’s beautiful”, “Traitor! You fight for a race that’ll only betray you” or “You must be free of them” Hale then shakes his head once the line is over. Thanks for reading. It was quite long to write this but I'm happy with this final result as it nice to get these Ideas typed up rather than swirling in my thoughts. As previously mentioned, it's a shame that Resistance wasn't represented on PSASBR's roster as I feel that Superbot/Sony Santa Monica could have done something creative especially with Resistance's creative weaponry. If PlayStation All Stars receives a sequel or a spiritual successor than Hale (maybe James Grayson as a clone fighter?) or even Daedalus with a Chimeran Death Squad would be the best option (A YouTuber named MiZta Zombie made a video titled 'Analyzing The Perfect PlayStation All-Stars Sequel Roster' and at 32:50 he explains that Daedalus would fight like Smash's Pokémon Trainer who can summon various Chimera to battle for him and can change the type at will. Daedalus can aid his soliders on the battlefield by using his telekinetic attacks he used during his Resistance 2 Boss Battle). It also sucks that the series isn't mentioned by Sony outside of Insomniac posting throwback pictures regarding the series on their social media. But, at least the members of the Resistance Reddit are keeping the series alive :) As a bonus here are the rejected alternate colour schemes for Hale that I didn't end up using. Army Ranger colours here are just a basic Hue/Saturation change. While, the two white Lieutenant of Echo Squad costumes were alternate takes of a white inspired uniform (I wasn't fond of the results) and the Black design was going to be used but was rejected for being too boring and was replaced with the Dutch inspired colour scheme. Considered adding this alt costume to the Army Ranger set (resembles the Russian flag due to the Chimera invading Russia first aka The Tunguska Event). However, I used the Red Cross inspired colour scheme instead. I hope you enjoyed this post and take care :) |
2024.04.28 05:17 Efficient-Ball7995 Putting random songs into different Danceverses
Carnivallium
submitted by Efficient-Ball7995 to JustDance [link] [comments]
- Bad Feeling (Oompa Loompa) by Jagwar Twin
- BOUNCE by BOYFRIEND
- Breaking your heart by Apache 207
- Carousel by Melanie Martinez
- Chained To The Rhythm by Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley
- CIRCUS by Stray Kids
- Daylight by Harry Styles
- Enjoy The Ride by Krewella
- Fantasy by Mariah Carey
- Give It To You by Jordan Knight
- Jackpot by Block B
- La La Love by WJSN
- Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, P!nk
- Lock Me In by Circus Mircus
- MADE IN ITALY by Rosa Chemical, Bdope
- Mesmerize by Ja Rule ft. Ashanti
- My Way by Usher
- Smile by Katy Perry
- Trampoline by SHAED
- Who Knew by P!nk
- XO by Beyoncé
- Zimzalabim by Red Velvet
- Alive by Krewella
- All This Love by Robin Schulz ft. Harlœ
- Around The World by Daft Punk
- Be Who You Are (Real Magic) by Jon Batiste, J.I.D, NewJeans, Camilo
- Bist Du Okay by Mark Forster, VIZE
- Bling Bling by ALTÉGO
- Blow by Ke$ha
- Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
- Bulletproof by La Roux
- Can't We Pretend by P!nk ft. Cash Cash
- Check It Out by will.i.am, Nicki Minaj
- Come Dance With Me by DJ Roc
- Commander by Kelly Rowland ft. David Guetta
- Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
- Cry For You by September
- Different Shapes by Frequent Flyer
- DNA by Craig David & Galantis
- Everybody by Nicki Minaj ft. Lil Uzi Vert
- Fast Forward by JEON SOMI
- Five More Hours by Deorro x Chris Brown
- FUTURO by Mark Matt
- Get Up by Imagination Movers
- Grand by Kane Brown
- Green Waves (Зелёные Волны) by Zivert
- GUARANTEE (SUMMER MIX) by Black Eyed Peas ft. J. Rey Soul
- Higher Power by Coldplay
- I Cry by Flo Rida
- I Don't Wanna Wait by David Guetta & OneRepublic
- I Don't Want It To Stop by Harlin James
- I Remember by deadmau5 & Kaskade
- Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas
- In The City by Charli XCX & Sam Smith
- Killer by Why So Sad, Kush Kush, Louis III
- LA DI DA by EVERGLOW
- Lights Off by We Are Domi
- Line by Triana Park
- Listen To Your Heart (Furious F. EZ Radio Edit) by DHT ft. Edmee
- Love Again by Alok ft. Alida
- Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue
- Love Is Gone (Fred Riester & Joachim Garraud Radio Edit Remix) by David Guetta & Chris Willis
- LoveStoned / I Think She Knows by Justin Timberlake
- Lyrics (Лирика) by Filatov & Karas ft. Masha
- Make You The One by XO-IQ
- Midnight City by M83
- Miracle by Cascada
- Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust
- My Life by Nicki Minaj
- Neon Lights by Demi Lovato
- One (Your Name) by Swedish House Mafia ft. Pharrell Williams
- One More Time by Daft Punk
- Play by Jennifer Lopez
- Play It Cool by Steve Aoki & MONSTA X
- Pomegranate by deadmau5 ft. The Neptunes
- Ride It by Regard
- Right Now by Nick Jonas vs. Robin Schulz
- Rock That Body by Black Eyed Peas
- Run Away by Sunstroke Project & Olia Tra
- Scandalous by Gryffin & Tinashe
- Seeya by deadmau5 ft. Colleen D’Agostino
- Shelter by Porter Robinson & Madeon
- Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders
- Slow Down by Selena Gomez
- Speed by Page Kennedy
- Stadium Rave by Mark Governor
- Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
- This Girl by Kungs vs. Cookin' On 3 Burners
- This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
- Time Lapse by TheFatRat
- Turn Me On by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj
- Turn Me On by Riton x Oliver Heldens ft. Vula
- U Got That by Halogen
- Unity by TheFatRat
- What If by Tokio Hotel
- Who's That Chick by David Guetta ft. Rihanna
- Worth The Risk by Sam Rivera
- Zig Zag by Clarx
- "A"-You're Adorable (The Alphabet Song) by Gordon MacRae & Jo Stafford
- (There's Gotta Be) More To Life by Stacie Orrico
- 100 Times by Jax Jones
- 3615 Bonheur by Soprano
- Abracadabra by Wes Nelson ft. Craig David
- All 4 U by Jax Jones
- All For You by Janet Jackson
- All Star by Smash Mouth
- Alright by David Choi
- Ballin' by Mustard ft. Roddy Ricch
- Bellyache by Billie Eilish
- Better Place by *NSYNC
- Breaking Me by Topic, A7S
- Can't Stay Away by Darin
- Celeb by PSY
- Chariot by Gavin DeGraw
- Children's Story by Slick Rick
- Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida ft. David Guetta
- Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy
- Dance The Night by Dua Lipa
- Day 'N' Nite by Kid Cudi
- Days Go By by Dirty Vegas
- DEBT by Shalco, Tianda
- Desculpa Por Eu Não Te Amar by Thiago Pantaleão
- Disko by LPS
- Don't Tell 'Em by Jeremih ft. YG
- Downtown by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee & Grandmaster Caz
- Electric Energy by Ariana DeRose, Boy George, Nile Rodgers
- End Of Beginning by Djo
- Everybody by Justice Crew
- Exceptional by Babyface
- Face Off by Tech N9ne ft. Joey Cool, King Iso & Dwayne Johnson
- Fake It by Tauren Wells ft. Aaron Cole
- Far Away by Nickelback
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- Fireworks by Purple Disco Machine ft. Moss Kena & The Knocks
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- Happiness by Alexis Jordan
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- Nothin' On You by B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars
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- Rolex by Ayo & Teo
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- Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti & Spearhead
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- Somebody by Natalie La Rose ft. Jeremih
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2024.04.24 17:31 Embarrassed_Agent_40 The tale of Ego, please give me wise advice
Warning: kinda long-ish, mentions of self-harm and fictional violence towards pregnant women.
Shout-out to CritCrab, Sir Knox the Teller of Tales, Den of the Drake, DnD Doge, Crispy's Tavern, Tales to Morrow, KiwiVO and Crowe's Perch.
Love your stuff.
Previous stories, useful to understand the association we play at:
The Tale of Skeptic
The Tale of Mess
The Tale of Sicko (this one to show that, while bad things happened at the Association, WORSE things happened outside)
NOTE 1: everybody in this tale is on the Autism Spectrum, except for the Bard. Yes, I am, as well.
NOTE 2: all the players knew from the beginning that this first story arc of the campaign was going to be focused on doing tasks for the various factions and organizations in town, in order to build a reputation and to gain favor to call upon later in the campaign.
NOTE 3: no, we can't chase people away from the table if they create trouble, nor we want, in this specific case.
NOTE 4: I know that the “horror” factor of this here story doesn't even begin to compare to some of the most infamous tales on this sub-reddit, but I needed to tell you this tale, both to vent and to ask for advice.
NOTE 5: no, nobody in the group hates the problem player, he is not an actively bad person and he always volunteers to pay for snacks, for example. We have nothing against him as a person, only against some of the things he does, okay? Okay.
Le cast:
DM: me, doing my best, and scared that said best might not be enough.
Guild: old-time friend, excellent GM creating vast and articulate homebrew worlds, and an example I try to follow for what a GM should do and be. He also helps me with certain mechanical aspects of the game, so I'm lucky to have him by my side.
Pie: family friend of mine, this campaign is her first introduction to the TTRPG world. Playing a Bard.
Bisanzio: another friend, his character's goal is to cause a revolution.
Bastion: stoic friend, his character is looking for the guys who murdered his caravan.
Fanboy: slightly problem player, but not that much. His only problem is that, whenever it's not his turn, he literally curls in a ball to watch anime clips on YouTube with his cell phone, and we need to call to him like half a dozen times each time to remind him that he is playing with other people. Good at role-playing as an Abadar Paladin, credit where credit's due.
Ego: the REAL problem player, and you'll see why soon-ish. Playing a Monk.
Shy: playing a Brawler.
The premise: Pathfinder homebrew campaign.
There are fights, but also lots of social interactions to become big shots in the city, in order to be called upon by the people in charge for the BIG, PLOT-RELEVANT MISSIONS.
Also, I believe in consequences for the players' actions: and I don't mean crap like “LOL the hobo you just hit by mistake is actually Asmodeus in disguise, make another sheet”, that's just “Rock falls, everybody dies” with extra steps.
What I mean is that players' actions don't happen in a void, and they influence how other characters will interact with the PCs.
A merchant won't keep selling them stuff if he just saw them murder his entire family in cold blood, for example.
That being said, let's get it on.
First session in which Ego takes part: Ego demands a reward for defeating bandits (with no bounty on their heads, and that the players were not ordered to defeat by anyone) from the High Commissioner of the City Guard.
When Fanboy tells him that the High Commissioner represents the Law, and that a common citizen can't just “demand” stuff from him, Ego answers “Hey, look, with the Law I wash my balls!”, while the player mimics the act.
Charming.
His second session: they're about to be hired by a pirate woman from the Shackles, to kill some son of a mother in town, getting paid 300 Gold Pieces each.
Ego makes up a narrative, based on absolutely no evidence or clue whatsoever, that the would-be employer is being paid a hundred thousand Gold Pieces to give them the job, therefore she better pay them more.
All of this without even knowing what the job's details actually were, he just made up stuff because he decided that he deserved more.
He also likes to interrupt other players while they are role-playing, and to try and dictate how everybody else should play THEIR characters.
He seems less interested in the adventure and cooperation, and more in getting purely combat-focused advantages for his character alone and to boast to everybody with an authority position (be it an high-ranking NPC or even just an employer) how much of a big shot he is, and how much HE has the final and only say in how things go.
Basically, he appears to NEED to disrespect everybody (both in-game and out of game) he perceives as a threat to his ego (hence his nickname), and he often does so in our other current campaign, the one mastered by Guild, as well.
Another problem is that Ego loves to ask questions, and hates to accept that the answers are not always what he wants to hear: the last Guild's session, he kept interrupting to ask questions Guild already answered many times about the lore, but Ego refused to hear the previous times because it wasn't all about how much versatile and able to do ANYTHING he himself was.
Another time, we had to literally repeat him 18 TIMES in a single session that, no, you can't increase your Wisdom score without levelling up by simply reading books.
Yet another time, our party needed to build an alliance with the Brotherhood of Assassins (no, there wasn't Ezio Auditore, unfortunately), and he refused because he DECIDED that they were actually a gang of serial killer and that, if we allied with them, they would've killed us for no reason.
It took us over half an hour to find the properly clear way to explain to him that he was wrong, and now, months later, he is still suspicious of them for NO REASON, other than the fact he decided at the beginning they were untrustworthy.
But the most infuriating part is, as I already told you, that he interrupts fucking everybody: when the current Master narrates or describes, when NPCs are talking, when the other players are talking... he just can't wait for someone else to finish!
And, yes, we tried talking to him, to politely and maturely ask him to tone it down, at least with the interrupting of other people.
Multiple times.
Each and every time, he said he understood... and then, the very same session, he kept interrupting, trying to speak over everybody else even while we were all, once more, asking him to stop that very moment.
He seems to think that, if he preemptively apologizes for being rude, he can interrupt and nobody has the right to be upset at this.
This is all combined with an insanely high opinion of himself, to the point that, despite this being one of his first TTRPG experience (all of them started fairly recently, in 2022), he decided that he was a Dungeons & Dragons expert because he thinks that his father's bar was the first place D&D was ever played in our entire Nation, and so, despite him never playing before, he absorbed D&D-ness by sheer osmosis.
We're talking about a guy who literally thinks that, since he used to play the drum and therefore knows how sonic vibrations work, he literally knows more about astrophysics than... Wine (there's a reason for this nickname, and no, it isn't that he is an alcoholic), another friend of mine who has an actual university degree in astrophysics.
Heck, he once tried to force us all to accept a series of rules HE created, unilaterally, and that in his vision every newcomer HAD to respect to be given a chance to play with us.
He ghosted us for the following two sessions, missing some pretty intense fight and one with a lot of plot-twists and stuff my players found really cool and interesting (among which, a possible plot-hook for a future side-quest focused on Guild).
WE DO NOT BLAME HIM FOR THIS, it was apparently for purely health-related reasons, and I'm referencing this fact purely to give a more complete picture of the situation.
So, with all this in mind, I have a thing planned for next session: while they are at a Hell Knight's fortress, they would meet a pregnant noblewoman, married to a high-ranking member of the Knights.
She would act cold and dismissive towards them, for perfectly valid reasons (she is a Granduchess and they are some random commoners)... and that would be a test to trigger a reaction from Ego, which might lead him to attack her.
This would lead them to having to face the Hell Knights and, were they to survive and escape, fail the mission they're currently doing, which requires to cooperate with the Hell Knights, at least momentarily.
It would have BIG consequences, because the Hell Knights would want to hunt them down to the end of Golarion, and would require me to completely rewrite my plans for the campaign, with such a huge change, but I literally see no other solution.
Instead of telling Ego to leave, anyway, I would remind him that in this game, actions have consequences, for him and the rest of the party.
But I'm still uncertain if I should do this.
Apart from having to cancel all the work I already did for the rest of the campaign and rewrite it fully, there's the humane side to consider.
We tried talking to Ego and explaining things to him, but he seems to think that his power fantasy of disrespecting authorities and getting away with it because he is so much better than everybody else is the only thing that matters, and screw everybody else's enjoyment of the game.
Maybe, being forced to face the consequences of his mistakes, and to learn that the game and the other players won't bend backwards to accommodate him and him alone, might do the trick.
One problem is that I personally already feel like kind of a douchebag for making a session that is, for all intents and purposes, a trap designed specifically to punish a single, specific player.
But the BIGGER problem is... he is known to resort to self-harm and to violence in the case of a meltdown, and I fear I might trigger one such occasion if I were to interfere with his power fantasy.
Therefore, the question is... WIBTA if I were to do this?
Thank you in advance for your opinions, I'll edit an update once I saw how things played out.
submitted by Embarrassed_Agent_40 to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]
Shout-out to CritCrab, Sir Knox the Teller of Tales, Den of the Drake, DnD Doge, Crispy's Tavern, Tales to Morrow, KiwiVO and Crowe's Perch.
Love your stuff.
Previous stories, useful to understand the association we play at:
The Tale of Skeptic
The Tale of Mess
The Tale of Sicko (this one to show that, while bad things happened at the Association, WORSE things happened outside)
NOTE 1: everybody in this tale is on the Autism Spectrum, except for the Bard. Yes, I am, as well.
NOTE 2: all the players knew from the beginning that this first story arc of the campaign was going to be focused on doing tasks for the various factions and organizations in town, in order to build a reputation and to gain favor to call upon later in the campaign.
NOTE 3: no, we can't chase people away from the table if they create trouble, nor we want, in this specific case.
NOTE 4: I know that the “horror” factor of this here story doesn't even begin to compare to some of the most infamous tales on this sub-reddit, but I needed to tell you this tale, both to vent and to ask for advice.
NOTE 5: no, nobody in the group hates the problem player, he is not an actively bad person and he always volunteers to pay for snacks, for example. We have nothing against him as a person, only against some of the things he does, okay? Okay.
Le cast:
DM: me, doing my best, and scared that said best might not be enough.
Guild: old-time friend, excellent GM creating vast and articulate homebrew worlds, and an example I try to follow for what a GM should do and be. He also helps me with certain mechanical aspects of the game, so I'm lucky to have him by my side.
Pie: family friend of mine, this campaign is her first introduction to the TTRPG world. Playing a Bard.
Bisanzio: another friend, his character's goal is to cause a revolution.
Bastion: stoic friend, his character is looking for the guys who murdered his caravan.
Fanboy: slightly problem player, but not that much. His only problem is that, whenever it's not his turn, he literally curls in a ball to watch anime clips on YouTube with his cell phone, and we need to call to him like half a dozen times each time to remind him that he is playing with other people. Good at role-playing as an Abadar Paladin, credit where credit's due.
Ego: the REAL problem player, and you'll see why soon-ish. Playing a Monk.
Shy: playing a Brawler.
The premise: Pathfinder homebrew campaign.
There are fights, but also lots of social interactions to become big shots in the city, in order to be called upon by the people in charge for the BIG, PLOT-RELEVANT MISSIONS.
Also, I believe in consequences for the players' actions: and I don't mean crap like “LOL the hobo you just hit by mistake is actually Asmodeus in disguise, make another sheet”, that's just “Rock falls, everybody dies” with extra steps.
What I mean is that players' actions don't happen in a void, and they influence how other characters will interact with the PCs.
A merchant won't keep selling them stuff if he just saw them murder his entire family in cold blood, for example.
That being said, let's get it on.
First session in which Ego takes part: Ego demands a reward for defeating bandits (with no bounty on their heads, and that the players were not ordered to defeat by anyone) from the High Commissioner of the City Guard.
When Fanboy tells him that the High Commissioner represents the Law, and that a common citizen can't just “demand” stuff from him, Ego answers “Hey, look, with the Law I wash my balls!”, while the player mimics the act.
Charming.
His second session: they're about to be hired by a pirate woman from the Shackles, to kill some son of a mother in town, getting paid 300 Gold Pieces each.
Ego makes up a narrative, based on absolutely no evidence or clue whatsoever, that the would-be employer is being paid a hundred thousand Gold Pieces to give them the job, therefore she better pay them more.
All of this without even knowing what the job's details actually were, he just made up stuff because he decided that he deserved more.
He also likes to interrupt other players while they are role-playing, and to try and dictate how everybody else should play THEIR characters.
He seems less interested in the adventure and cooperation, and more in getting purely combat-focused advantages for his character alone and to boast to everybody with an authority position (be it an high-ranking NPC or even just an employer) how much of a big shot he is, and how much HE has the final and only say in how things go.
Basically, he appears to NEED to disrespect everybody (both in-game and out of game) he perceives as a threat to his ego (hence his nickname), and he often does so in our other current campaign, the one mastered by Guild, as well.
Another problem is that Ego loves to ask questions, and hates to accept that the answers are not always what he wants to hear: the last Guild's session, he kept interrupting to ask questions Guild already answered many times about the lore, but Ego refused to hear the previous times because it wasn't all about how much versatile and able to do ANYTHING he himself was.
Another time, we had to literally repeat him 18 TIMES in a single session that, no, you can't increase your Wisdom score without levelling up by simply reading books.
Yet another time, our party needed to build an alliance with the Brotherhood of Assassins (no, there wasn't Ezio Auditore, unfortunately), and he refused because he DECIDED that they were actually a gang of serial killer and that, if we allied with them, they would've killed us for no reason.
It took us over half an hour to find the properly clear way to explain to him that he was wrong, and now, months later, he is still suspicious of them for NO REASON, other than the fact he decided at the beginning they were untrustworthy.
But the most infuriating part is, as I already told you, that he interrupts fucking everybody: when the current Master narrates or describes, when NPCs are talking, when the other players are talking... he just can't wait for someone else to finish!
And, yes, we tried talking to him, to politely and maturely ask him to tone it down, at least with the interrupting of other people.
Multiple times.
Each and every time, he said he understood... and then, the very same session, he kept interrupting, trying to speak over everybody else even while we were all, once more, asking him to stop that very moment.
He seems to think that, if he preemptively apologizes for being rude, he can interrupt and nobody has the right to be upset at this.
This is all combined with an insanely high opinion of himself, to the point that, despite this being one of his first TTRPG experience (all of them started fairly recently, in 2022), he decided that he was a Dungeons & Dragons expert because he thinks that his father's bar was the first place D&D was ever played in our entire Nation, and so, despite him never playing before, he absorbed D&D-ness by sheer osmosis.
We're talking about a guy who literally thinks that, since he used to play the drum and therefore knows how sonic vibrations work, he literally knows more about astrophysics than... Wine (there's a reason for this nickname, and no, it isn't that he is an alcoholic), another friend of mine who has an actual university degree in astrophysics.
Heck, he once tried to force us all to accept a series of rules HE created, unilaterally, and that in his vision every newcomer HAD to respect to be given a chance to play with us.
He ghosted us for the following two sessions, missing some pretty intense fight and one with a lot of plot-twists and stuff my players found really cool and interesting (among which, a possible plot-hook for a future side-quest focused on Guild).
WE DO NOT BLAME HIM FOR THIS, it was apparently for purely health-related reasons, and I'm referencing this fact purely to give a more complete picture of the situation.
So, with all this in mind, I have a thing planned for next session: while they are at a Hell Knight's fortress, they would meet a pregnant noblewoman, married to a high-ranking member of the Knights.
She would act cold and dismissive towards them, for perfectly valid reasons (she is a Granduchess and they are some random commoners)... and that would be a test to trigger a reaction from Ego, which might lead him to attack her.
This would lead them to having to face the Hell Knights and, were they to survive and escape, fail the mission they're currently doing, which requires to cooperate with the Hell Knights, at least momentarily.
It would have BIG consequences, because the Hell Knights would want to hunt them down to the end of Golarion, and would require me to completely rewrite my plans for the campaign, with such a huge change, but I literally see no other solution.
Instead of telling Ego to leave, anyway, I would remind him that in this game, actions have consequences, for him and the rest of the party.
But I'm still uncertain if I should do this.
Apart from having to cancel all the work I already did for the rest of the campaign and rewrite it fully, there's the humane side to consider.
We tried talking to Ego and explaining things to him, but he seems to think that his power fantasy of disrespecting authorities and getting away with it because he is so much better than everybody else is the only thing that matters, and screw everybody else's enjoyment of the game.
Maybe, being forced to face the consequences of his mistakes, and to learn that the game and the other players won't bend backwards to accommodate him and him alone, might do the trick.
One problem is that I personally already feel like kind of a douchebag for making a session that is, for all intents and purposes, a trap designed specifically to punish a single, specific player.
But the BIGGER problem is... he is known to resort to self-harm and to violence in the case of a meltdown, and I fear I might trigger one such occasion if I were to interfere with his power fantasy.
Therefore, the question is... WIBTA if I were to do this?
Thank you in advance for your opinions, I'll edit an update once I saw how things played out.