Cute non cheesy things to say to boyfriend

Need advice ! Family owned agency decreasing benefits, pay, and over looking seniority.
I 24 have been working for a family owned agency for about 3 years. Started at 17 an hour with a matched 401k. Off weekends as a csr. found interest in getting licensed. The benefits at the time out weighted so I dived in.
We are an independent brokerage working with about 5 standard carriers and access to over 30 non standard carriers. We primarily handle P&C as well as all court ordered bonds. We have some goals I believe around 10k a month in premium. But they rarely do checkins or accountability.
Over time I was I given additional tasks outside of my original duties of answering the phone and servicing clients. Just before passing my insurance exam I was taking care of all of the service work for all of the agents that work in our agency (3) as well as essentially being a personal assistant to our agency principal from scheduling meetings, over seeing his schedule, and even attending networking meetings in his place. as well as handling the surety bonds billing, filing, and notating.
After a year I received a dollar raise to 18. Shortly after I was officially licensed in P&C. I was then beginning to receive lists of quotes from our agency principal and expected to completely quote renewals with explanation on the coverages and why I chose certain endorsements for “ practice and experience” but no compensation for helping. On top of all of the additional day to day work.
Eventually I began building my personal book of business and this was becoming impossible to juggle.
This carried on for months until October of 23 when our principal finally decided to hire in for my position and move me to a full time producer roll. ( there was only me handling all things insurance and bond related for almost 2 years)
Now I am building my book of business while still running quotes for my supervisor with no additional percentage for helping.
They have me networking twice a week.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I spend 3 hours straight driving around and stopping into spaces to get leads. They tried to convince me that it’s better to claim the mileage on my taxes at the end of the year than to receive a stipend for gas. I am not sure what the standard is so I didn’t say anything
This move changed me to a salary and commissioned producer. This is where my issues really begin. I am salary but making less due to the consideration of commission. I was at about 1200 every two weeks and now I am about 800. Which has been tough because my commission isn’t stable. Also After switching and because I am being paid differently I was kicked from the 401k program.
No 401k and no insurance. They have been “ trying” to get things set up but that was back in October. It’s now may and I haven’t accrued any additional retirement.
They are additionally making changes to our vacation and personal time in our handbook. Bringing my vacation time down to only 5 days a year. also removing pay from personal time and only 3 sick days for a whole calendar year!
To top it all off they have hired in two additional part timers that start soon with raises after 6 months, starting at 22 dollars an hour. The one girl monitors the agency principals application work for him and the other part-time marketing cultivation sending out letters and making calls.
I am looking for additional opinions on how I should self advocate regarding my pay, workload , and time off. I feel that it is long over due but because I struggle with ADHD and I am on the spectrum self advocating can be a huge challenge for me.
Outside of getting a percentage of commission for call ins. There doesn’t a seem to be many benefits staying with the agency.

So here's the full story.
My dad, who is 74 and is in regular health for his age (and is neither a drinker or a smoker) had something strange occur two months ago.
Even though he's been retired since 2012, he dreamed one night two months ago that he had to go some work-related function. To him, the dream seemed so real that he was actually getting ready to go to this non-existent function. As the morning went on he realized that it was just a dream and wasn't real. Same thing happened next morning as well.
Early in April he couldn't his car at a Walmart parking lot that he's been to many times before. He found it after an hour. Later that very same day he asked me when this year's Super Bowl was. I told him it already happened this year and for a bit he didn't believe me but eventually he remembered that it was this year.
Later in April he had another dream about how his former employer had an employee appreciation day Busch Gardens (a theme park here in Tampa) for employees and their families where they get free admission for that day and he asked if I wanted to go. I told him it was just a dream and he agreed.
He also had accidentally locked himself out of the house like five or six times over the past two months when he stepped out for a little bit to do an outside chore like take out the trash. This never really happened before the past two months.
Other than that he hasn't had any real trouble with things. He can talk normally and follow conversations normally the vast majority of the time. He also has no trouble driving anywhere.
But, just to determine what is going on, he had an appointment earlier today with his doctor for a memory test. I didn't go with him but he told all of the above information (he actually had a piece of paper with all of that written on it) to the doctor and the doctor also had him take him a memory test.
After the appointment, dad told me how it went and he said that the doctor really diagnosed him with dementia or Alzheimer's. Like the doctor never said that he has those things but in their long conversation the word "dementia" but it wasn't an official diagnosis. She said that whatever he has it's very mild right now. She seemed upbeat during the whole appointment and wasn't solemn at all. In fact, she was very glad that he came to get help because she said that most people don't come until the major warning signs start appearing. Hell, even he was in a good mood when he was telling how the appointment went!
So, she prescribed him Donepezil. The official description for that drug says that it is primarily used for the treatment of dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease and has FDA approval for use in mild, moderate, and severe stages of the disease. But like I said before, the word "Alzheimer's" never came up during their conversation. He has another appointment in three weeks.
So like, what exactly am I supposed to think here? Should I be worried? Cause right now my heart is racing. I can't seem to process all this right now.
Thanks for reading!

Hello everyone,
I’m going through a really frustrating situation and I just want to start by saying I truly love my boyfriend and we have been together for over a year, I’m even close with his family and he has met mine. However, since his car was totaled for about a year now and we live in a city without reliable public transportation that does not travel to my neighborhood- you absolutely need a car. He works at the same place as his roommate so they drive together everyday. Every weekend I visit him at his house and it’s about a 30 min drive there and 30 min back. I hate driving in my city and it’s starting to affect how I feel about him. I understand that he is still making payments on his totaled car and with inflation and all it’s really hard for him to pick up a second car payment (he was also hit by an uninsured driver). If we do anything or go anywhere I have to drive my car and I feel like a masculine woman right now. I pay for my gas, tires, and I hate asking for help and he doesn’t offer to help either. I feel like it’s a lot on me to drive back and forth and I’m just so over it. I feel like a bad person if I bring up how I feel because I don’t see how things can change.

Need advice ! Family owned agency decreasing benefits, pay, and over looking seniority.
I 24 have been working for a family owned agency for about 3 years. Started at 17 an hour with a matched 401k. Off weekends as a csr. found interest in getting licensed. The benefits at the time out weighted so I dived in.
We are an independent brokerage working with about 5 standard carriers and access to over 30 non standard carriers. We primarily handle P&C as well as all court ordered bonds. We have some goals I believe around 10k a month in premium. But they rarely do checkins or accountability.
Over time I was I given additional tasks outside of my original duties of answering the phone and servicing clients. Just before passing my insurance exam I was taking care of all of the service work for all of the agents that work in our agency (3) as well as essentially being a personal assistant to our agency principal from scheduling meetings, over seeing his schedule, and even attending networking meetings in his place. as well as handling the surety bonds billing, filing, and notating.
After a year I received a dollar raise to 18. Shortly after I was officially licensed in P&C. I was then beginning to receive lists of quotes from our agency principal and expected to completely quote renewals with explanation on the coverages and why I chose certain endorsements for “ practice and experience” but no compensation for helping. On top of all of the additional day to day work.
Eventually I began building my personal book of business and this was becoming impossible to juggle.
This carried on for months until October of 23 when our principal finally decided to hire in for my position and move me to a full time producer roll. ( there was only me handling all things insurance and bond related for almost 2 years)
Now I am building my book of business while still running quotes for my supervisor with no additional percentage for helping.
They have me networking twice a week.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I spend 3 hours straight driving around and stopping into spaces to get leads. They tried to convince me that it’s better to claim the mileage on my taxes at the end of the year than to receive a stipend for gas. I am not sure what the standard is so I didn’t say anything
This move changed me to a salary and commissioned producer. This is where my issues really begin. I am salary but making less due to the consideration of commission. I was at about 1200 every two weeks and now I am about 800. Which has been tough because my commission isn’t stable. Also After switching and because I am being paid differently I was kicked from the 401k program.
No 401k and no insurance. They have been “ trying” to get things set up but that was back in October. It’s now may and I haven’t accrued any additional retirement.
They are additionally making changes to our vacation and personal time in our handbook. Bringing my vacation time down to only 5 days a year. also removing pay from personal time and only 3 sick days for a whole calendar year!
To top it all off they have hired in two additional part timers that start soon with raises after 6 months, starting at 22 dollars an hour. The one girl monitors the agency principals application work for him and the other part-time marketing cultivation sending out letters and making calls.
I am looking for additional opinions on how I should self advocate regarding my pay, workload , and time off.
I feel that it is long over due but because I struggle with ADHD and I am on the spectrum self advocating can be a huge challenge for me.
Outside of getting a percentage of commission for call ins. There doesn’t a seem to be many benefits staying with the agency.

Ok, love is not the right word, I just wanted to stick with the spirit of the Sellers inspired title. Here's the timeline, sordid details following:
5/8-5/24/23 - Job offered, finger printed, E-qip done, soft credit pull, no interim 7/?/23 - Interview scheduled with investigator, this was probably mid month, my in-laws were in town 8/14/23 - follow up interview w/ the same investigator, by video 10/20/23 - received LOI for things previously discussed with investigator - immediately retained safetyblitz44 4/24/2024 - finally turned in all documentation required by LOI
I waited 3 weeks to contact the FSO from the hiring company. I received a call back from the program manager pretty fast - they profusely apologized that I should have been notified 11 months ago that they were on a hiring freeze and could no longer offer me the position.
I let them know that this was OK and understandable - BUT, that I had still been in contact with DCSA, had an interview, LOI, etc. and that regardless my case should reflect that. They asked me to send my resume and told me they'd call back.
Not even 2 hours later, they call and let me know that YES I have been adjudicated favorably BUT that's when the company dropped my case. I will remain in this status for about 6 months total, during which time I need to find a job to activate me. This is not the end of the world, the PM referred me to a sub and I'm interviewing next week and I am reaching out to my network - someone is going to pick up a software engineer ready to be cleared, that's probably a non issue. I'm very lucky to find myself in this position at all.
Long version...
I was unemployed from late 2021 to early 2023 when I finally bit the bullet and went back to cleared work. I'm a software engineer and I've been cleared before, I didn't think it would be a huge deal, but I was wrong.
I have filled out the SF-86 a lot, I'm in my 40s and it started in the army in 1999. I have had cleared roles without much issue but I never really had red flags either.
This time I had some IRS issues and I checked "yes" to the having used drugs box. It was weed and I had stopped during the pandemic - it was a social thing and the pandemic sucked all of those aspects right out of it. Sharing seemed to make sense til then and I was never one to sit around getting high alone so it naturally tapered off more than a conscious effort to quit. But, I have no intention of doing it again, so giddyup.
When I met with the investigator for an interview it became clear why I hadn't gotten an interim this time but not why it never came up before. They asked me about "an arrest in March 1997" and all I could say was "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S ON THERE?!"
Now, having re-read the SF-86 a ton, I still can't quite figure out where I would have listed this other than at the end because all of the arrest questions from rev 2016 are "past 7 years" but, some way, somehow I will list this in the future because this was 26 years prior when i was 15.
When I was 15 I was at a bus stop by the school in my city when a friend drove by and stopped - a bunch of us got in. I was sitting shotgun and saw the vehicle we had just entered had no ignition and realized it was stolen and we were all going to get arrested, which we did. No charges, none of us stole a car, including the driver - she was riding in a second hand hot car - we were just in the thing. It was teenage stupidity all the way down. I never thought of it again other than as a hilarious anecdote because we were arrested and released to our parents and that was the end of it til that interview! LOL!
The investigator told me in no uncertain terms that this was why i needed an interview. They said they would have never had to do it otherwise. But, I'm still not sure where I would have listed it or what would have made me think of it. They showed me the FBI report that just said it was an arrest assumed felony. There's an EVER question about being charged with a felony but I was not charged. That was no issue after I explained it and I assume the FBI finally followed up with the rest of their report.
Otherwise we just talked about the stint with MJ use, long over, my IRS issues, and I brought up a bench warrant that I had in another state but explained there was really nowhere on the form to list it and that it was for an unpaid ticket from the year 2000 (misdemeanor) with no statute of limitations. I had only found out about it right before the pandemic, it became a low priority real fast. Same with the IRS stuff. I had stopped filing for a bunch of years just because I couldn't afford the 1099 I had been on one year. When you don't file once it's easy to keep not filing! But, in 2021, before the layoffs, I had hired an accountant to help me get it all straightened out. I just needed to file the missed year but I wasn't sure if that was the right move or not. I owed but I was broke and dealing with layoffs plus the IRS hadn't said anything - it's only human to hope they never do! LOL. I never did find any real sources to corroborate a time limit on failing to file, though, so I didn't really want to push that envelope.
When I got the LOI it was only for the 2 tax years I hadn't filed and the bench warrant. Just the words "bench warrant" told me I should get a lawyer and I did. Getting those tax returns processed and getting the warrant lifted took 7 months. Each time a deadline came up from DCSA I submitted everything I had - screenshots, correspondence w/ the attorney working on my bench warrant and the state the case was in - and each time they extended me further.
I ended up needing 2 lawyers - I initially hired the user mentioned above and they found someone who was bar'd in the state I needed. The bench warrant was for an unpaid parking ticket (that I could swear on a stack of bibles was paid at the time, but I can't prove that, so). It took several months to get proof. Same with the IRS stuff. I sent a large payment on the 2nd of January and it took til April to fully reflect on my account. It was excruciating. If you owe taxes and it's a one off, do yourself a favor and call the people who can waive the penalties. I was able to make reasonable payment arrangements online and THEN get 1/3 of my bill cut.
Mainly the lawyer made sure my "final" packet - the one I turned in for the first due date with all of my statements - was clear and correct and would reflect the steps I was taking. Wording on the LOI response is crucial to success along with proof - they will help make sure you are addressing the issues as requested by the LOI without overthinking it. I'm not a terrible writer but that isn't exactly the point. Once I hit that juncture I really wanted to be as sure as I could be that I was doing the right things. They can also help you put your case in perspective - they have experience with weirder or worse than yours. Plus, if you found them on reddit you can respond to them in gifs and memes and know they'll get it. All told for 7 months of counsel, an entire additional lawyer, and including all fees from that process, this cost $2500 and my retainer remainder was refunded as soon as we closed. No hearings or court time necessary, everything was remote and asynchronous.
One of the best parts of this outcome is how great it feels to know I'm truly "squeaky clean" again. It doesn't take too long, depending, I guess. If you look at my account you'll see one of the last weed plants I grew in 2015. Cultivation is one of those "in the past 7 years" questions and I was in year 8 which I may always get a silly kick out of. I did let the investigator know as it was relevant to some other info - but, I'm a horticulturalist at heart, which is also fully reflected in my hobbies. I have no desire or need to grow weed again but it's a thing I have done and have experience with which is nothing to be ashamed of.
Be honest - with yourself AND investigators. Don't be too squeaky of a wheel when it's taking a long time - sometimes that's a really happy accident. Get another job while you wait or keep your current one. File those late taxes now, not later. Old warrants for misdemeanors are cheaper than you think. Sometimes stuff really does come up that you had no reason to list but it isn't necessarily the end of the world.
Oh, and I've been naked on the internet and no one cared.

OK so I'm a non smoking/non drinking 28yo female and I have been having throat problems. It all started about 3 months ago I had a really bad bug where I was vomiting blood (ER confirmed it was from my throat). I have since then had a few things really weird...
***my throat clicks when I turn my head/eat/cough/speak like its skipping over a lump or something in the Adam's apple kind of area this is audible especially if I am speaking at that exact moment my whole voice glitches out....
***I get random choking fits that seem to be originating at the base of my neck kind of just above where my collar bones meet. It seems like a little burst of fluid or something maybe?....
***general weakness in my throat and jaw when eating/talking/swallowing/chewing. This is not all the time but periodically happens......
And then here's the kicker last night I sneezed and choked on my own throat!!!! It felt insanely uncomfortable it was a clicking sensation and felt like the mid-section of my throat was trying to fold inwards and upwards... my hubby could hear my throat collapse in on itself momentarily. I'm having a hard time putting it into words but it sounded disgusting to say the least like I was choking on myself. What could this all be?
Medications/diagnosis: Verapamil (SVT), Ubrevly (migraine disorder) and before anyone says to go to the doctor to get it checked out, I'm already on it and soonest I can get in is 2 weeks away. Just looking for input in the meantime.

we've been friends about 3 years and started dating in February. We've had a few great dates together and I really enjoy her company. I have other girl friends and dated men (which was awful and made me realize I was gay) and I knew it just felt different. Me and my friends all had like a sleepover and I felt no like "butterflies" or whatever laying by them or anything but even just sitting by my girlfriend brushing shoulders like felt "safe" or I don't know how to describe it, and it's dumb but I think about it. I replay cute moments from the past three months with her in my head all the time. She has a habit of patting my head and even that makes me giggle and kick my feet and shit. She and some friends had like a performance thing and my manager wanted me to come into work and I knew my friends would've understood but I really wanted to see her and I thought she would be disappointed if I didn't go. I thought she looked really cute and happy up there lol and it made me feel lucky to have someone that has so much love and joy for life also like me. We're both busy and I don't really get to see her as much as I want, so I replay a lot of the moments in my head a lot. I can't imagine myself with anyone else right now. She apologized that we dont see each other like everyday and I was like it's okay lol in my head we have the rest of our lives.
I have 6 days before I won't see her again until August. I've kissed a man before but never a girl and she's never kissed anyone so it feels up to me to initiate. I know we'll have one more date before leaving for summer and it just feels like something I should do, I think I'll regret it all summer if I dont. But I'm nervous as fuck. I wasn't this nervous even for my first kiss or sex or even being fucking fully naked with a man because I knew I didn't like them that much and so it didn't matter. I don't know how to initiate because the man always did in the past. The most intimate we've been is hugging and hand holding and like me sleeping on her. I know my fear has something to do with being friends so long first but im nervous and don't know what to doo. I'm not even talking about making out just like a peck freaks me out. I really want to though and I KNOW I'll regret not. I know we'll hug before parting ways and on our first date we had an exchange where I said "what are you thinking about?" and she said something like "I really want to hold your hand, can I?". Ugh shit was like 3 months ago and still makes me giggle and blush internally. I'm thinking of doing something similar though and asking before going for it. Or something like "Do you trust me?" then she says yes and then I say "close your eyes" and just go for it. Any advice? How did you kiss your first girlfriend? Am I being overdramatic? Pls I knew I would do it before the semester ended but now it's here and I'm scared lol.

My(m29) Ex(f24) thinks I'm wrong for telling her that I do not think it's appropriate for our 2 year old son to be refering to her boyfriend as his dad.
We separated last October. She started officially dating this current boyfriend sometime in February. She says he has never met our son. Yet our son says he has( he is a parrot) in the beginning of the separation she made sure to tell me often that she will be dating and getting married and that our son would have another dad. I told her that it's an obvious thing to happen and that it will only happen when she is married and not before. I do not want my son to have multiple dad's if he starts calling boyfriends dad. Otherwise he'd have 3 at this point.
The other day my son asked me to fix some things at his mom's house, same items she has asked Me to fix a couple time which I told her that she has other people that can fix it. She said her boyfriend tried but it wasn't right, and apparently I fix things well. That same day hours later I was bringing my son to my house and he asked Me to fix the same things. I told him that I can't help and that maybe his grandfather on his mother's side could help. He said "no he can't help, my other dad tried and can't do it" confused I asked what other dad, and he said his mom's boyfriend. I explained that unless he is married to his mom, then he is not his dad.
When dropping him off I told her she needs to teach him that a boyfriend isn't a dad, especially is they have never met(her claim) her response was "I'm just training him to understand he will have 2 dad's because I will get married and he will have a step dad" I told her when and if she gets married, then that husband can be the stepfather, other wise there was no reason for it to happen now.
She said I was wrong and blamed me for not being helpful with fixing things and not being acceptable of the future outcome of a step father and sped walked away.
Am I wrong for telling her she needs to stop training him to understand having a step father?

Part of me feels bad but part of me doesn't. So I don't know if I'm here for validation or to be told that I'm bat shit crazy. I gave birth 8 months ago and I definitely was slapped with PPD/PPA. I'm getting better now through medical intervention. I am not argumentative and accept all judgement so please don't hold back. I just need some insight. Thank you in advance.
My husband and I moved right beside his best friend Chris and Chris's girlfriend "Claire" back in October, and they also just had a baby (4 months ago). We share a yard. I'm getting incredibly touched out by my husband's relationship with Claire. He's only known her as long as I have and in my opinion, they are both disrespectful of me and Chris. I understand and have zero issue with my husband having female friends (he has plenty and they are all lovely and respectful). However, there's been a lot of things I'm simply not okay with. Like the fact that Claire won't come outdoors if I'm outside but if Chris is outside, she runs right over. She's constantly touching his arms and laughing while leaning in close. Calling him names, telling him he's stupid while giggling. If I come out during those moments, she acts buddy buddy with me but it's all an act, in my opinion. We have also had BBQs/fires with Chris and Claire and damn near always, Claire will ask my husband for favors but never asks her boyfriend. Like clipping the straps of her baby carrier or grabbing things for her or asking him to hold her and Chris's baby so she can go inside to pee, even if her boyfriend is right there (to a point where Chris is like "uhh I'm literally right here" and my husband will pass him the baby and be like "yeah that was weird"). It nearly always turns in to her just hanging out with my husband all night. Even when my husband isn't engaging with her, she will still be standing right beside him. And last weekend my husband and I were having a fire together and just reconnecting as a couple- I had walked inside briefly and when I came out, Claire was sitting in my chair beside my husband and trying to joke around with him and trying to play with my baby, who my husband was holding. She didn't even get out of my chair when she saw me come out either. She just parked her ass there and basically ignored me and kept trying to talk to my husband. So, my husband looks at me and says "babe, here take my seat" and got up and moved and Claire goes "oh, sorry" and gets up and walks off. I asked my husband what that was about and he's like "I have no idea. I literally told her you and I were trying to get alone time and she just sat down anyways." So it's NOT my husband. It's her. Not even 10 minutes later, her and Chris come out and Chris goes "Claire said you guys were partying without me" and it ultimately soured the mood. Since we have been here, it's like we can't have alone time because Claire and Chris are always right here (I don't mind Chris).
Anyways, after this night I told my husband that I'm at a point of being completely uncomfortable with him interacting with Claire at all. I made sure to tell him that it is NOT him that concerns me but it's her and her lack of respecting boundaries and obvious interest in him. He asked me what I expected him to do and I told him I expected him to avoid interacting with her when he could because dropping hints like he has been doesn't work and I don't want to cause a massive scene by straight up telling her to back off (only because of Chris, because I respect Chris and he's a good friend to my husband - so for Chris's sake I want to keep it civil). My husband has since avoided Claire at all costs, but Chris mentioned my husband acting weird and my husband straight up told him that it's because Claire is making me uncomfortable and that he agrees with me because Claire makes him uncomfortable as well. Now Chris and Claire both have been avoiding us and giving me death glares. AITA?

Ex-roommate if you see this, I'm sorry. So a little backstory.
(I 22F, them 26F) A little over half a year ago I had a friend of a friend move in. They had fallen into a pretty bad mental state and just needed some time and space away from their situation. At the time I didn't know them too well but I knew 'em enough to be comfortable living with them. One of the things they wanted to get away from was relationship issues (the used to live with their ex). So early on they had me promise "not to fall in love with them". I didn't really feel that way towards them so it was an easy promise to make.
Skip foward a few month and they said they wanted to cuddle as friends. At this point we've gotten a lot closecomfortable with each other so I agreeded to it. Up until then I've never cuddled with someone so I thought it'd be nice. That went on for a couple of months until they got a bf. I really liked their bf, he was a chill guy with a lot of knowledge and life experience to go with it. They both would trip sit me a lot so I felt like I could trust them.
One night I went up to both of them and told them I think I might love them. This really freaked my roommate out saying thing like they don't think they could trust me anymore and they might have to move out. It really did hurt me. The boyfriend asked me some questions and gave me some things to reflect on. Ultimatly I came to the conclution that I did't love them, I just liked the closeness that I got from being around them.
Now to present time. Things didn't end up working out between my ex-roommate and their bf and they just wanted time to focous on themselfs. About a month or so after I asked her if she would want to cuddle like we used to (Ik, horrible timing on my part). That and my sh was kinda the straw that broke the camel's back that prompted them to move out. When they left it was sudden. I came home from work, everything was good. I woke up, and half their stuff was gone. I was definitly hurt that they'd leave like like after all we've been through and I definitly cried at lot (XD). We're on good terms though. We still talk and hang out and just do stuff besties do.
Sitting with my thoughs after she left and looking at all the experiences we had and how I feel about them, I really do think I fell in love with them. It just happened later than I though. We talked later about when I asked to cuddle and she said she said no at the time because she was afraid she would catch feels and didn't want to ruin our friendship.
Long story short my question is, do I tell my bestie that I love them and risk them walking out of my life. Or do I just try to ignore thoes feelings and move on? I really value our friendship too and I'd be devistated to not have them in my life. But it also feels like by not tell them, that I'm lying to them in a way.
Tldr; I fell in love with my best friend and I don't know if I should tell them and possibly ruin the friendship.

I apologize in advance this is long. I would appreciate if you could take the time to read, and just give your opinion. If this doesn't fit I will remove.
So, I know this may seem stupid or unnecessary, I just want other people's views on the subject. This isore of an inner conflict I guess- anyway...
My grandmother passed away in 2017 at the age of 60. She was and will always be my best friend, and the person I will miss most in the world. If it were possible I would do absolutely anything I could to just talk to her one last time, I would give my life over so she could have a second, and better one. She was cremated and early last year I got a tattoo for her, we both had the same favorite flower, so I got a white magnolia tattoo with her name on the stem. The artist rushed it and it looksuch older than only a year, lines fell out, some parts are thicker than others, etc.
I have an appointment to get it fixed in June for my 21st birthday. I've been thinking alot about asking the artist (who I trust fully, they are one of the best in my city) to mix some of her ashes in with the ink.
The part that's making me wonder if this is a good idea or not is what she would think. My grandma was an old fashion Christian woman, and while I myself am non-religious, I have no issue with religion. And she was probably the only person on this Earth who's opinion mattered to me, even if it was through her religious views. On one hand I think if she knew I wanted to do this, she would be touched. She knew me better than anyone and I really think she would know how much it would mean to me to constantly have a piece of her with me forever. It's making me very emotional thinking about it lol. On the other hand I don't know if she would want her ashes separated and messed with. My father would say that she always wanted to be buried in between her parents, which I fully plan to do. I've kept her ashes safe until I can make the trip back home to do so. The thing is, my father is someone who... has issues. He and my grandma fought quite a lot, they both have their issues, but ultimately he is very explosive and she did not deserve alot of the aggressive she would receive. He is also a pathological liar, he has burned his bridges with all of our known family, myself included. When I was little he meant the world to me, he was my hero and the person I wanted to be, until I grew up. I fully want to believe what he says she wanted is true, on the other hand I can't believe a word he says to me or anyone else.
The issue is also with him and my siblings. I do still speak to my father every now and again, just when I have to go to the place he lives and he speaks to me first. He is unfortunately living with my maternal grandparents because they feel sorry for him. It's super weird to have my mother's ex-husband living with OUR family, but I will focus on the main topic. He knows I have a tattoo for my grandma, which is fine because I don't care what he thinks. I just don't want to deal with him telling me how disrespectful I am for "desecrating" his mom's ashes. He has never once asked where they are/what I've done with them. I don't know if this is because he only cares about himself, or because he knows I would never let anything happen to them. Not sure. If he were to say stuff like that it would make me feel like I've done the ultimate damage to my grandma, and the ultimate sin in her eyes, as far as disrespecting the dead and her memory.
My siblings are also not the most understanding, I only stay close to my sister for my nieces, my little brother is the only one I love, and my oldest brother is dead to me. As much as it would mean to me to have grandmother's ashes as a part of my being, she was still their grandma too. My little brother would completely understand, and my sister knows how much she meant to me, her and I were best friends, and always will be. I don't want to be selfish and hurt them by disrespecting our grandma. I'm not really close to alot of my family, but this just seems... Different. I don't know.
I'm not really sure what I feel to be honest. I guess I just want to talk about it, I don't want to necessarily talk with my siblings about it. I don't know how they will react, but I don't want to feel guilty by doing it behind their backs. What do you guys think? I don't know how this will come off to strangers, but to me this is a very sensitive subject so please be kind, you can give your opinion and not be hurtful. Thanks for reading!
TL;DR: want to get grandma's ashes tattooed in me, but scared of what she and/or my family would think. It would mean the world to me, but I may hurt other people I guess.

so i just had this idea to make a bra strap bracelet for my boyfriend because i thought it would be a cute idea so i did, i sent him a pic of it that i'm gonna give him something he said he liked it and stuff, the next day, i met up with him, first he didn't seemed too eager to have it but i didn't cared much. i handed it to him but he didn't wore it the right away, he said he will try it on later and he gotta catch up with some friends now, i asked him to tell me whether he liked it or not but, he didn't said a thing after, it passed about 5 days since i gave it to him and he still didn't gave me his opinion nor even texted me! ( he basically ghosted me) i don't know if i did something wrong or not but it kind of hurts as i'm feeling like he didn't respected my effort ( it wasn't a too forward move because i knew him a long time already) tdlr: i (19F) gave my boyfriend (22M) a bra strap bracelet and he ghosted me right after.

BLUF: Autistic people, currently, especially those who present as having “woman autism” are being used as props. This is good for no one.
People with autism seem almost to be, in Langston Hughes’ phrase “in vogue” (and as he noted, their wages – and acceptance – aren’t growing any). One example is that for those with “woman autism”, there has been an adoption by other women as something like magic pixie dream girls (that is, they’re used, if only rhetorically, for others’ aggrandizement). This is exemplified by the meme “girls with autism vs. boys with autism” [an example], which is patently mocking toward the latter (though by the comments on such productions, “the latter” can’t quickly pinpoint the mockery, which increases the “hilarity”. And if you believe in upping autistic solidarity, downing bullying, you’ll downvote such memes thoroughly. That few people do that, is indicative of the commonest human attitude toward autistic people).
But this is only one instance: in fact, events such as “autism awareness month” are instituted by non-autistic people and have, on this writer’s assessment, nihl positive impact for actually autistic people. (Have personally observed people use the word “autistic” as a derogatory, later proudly construct “AAM” banners). So what (aside from “Autism Speaks” Naked Lust For Profit) are autistic people used for?
Implicit in the idea of the “Manic Pixie Aspergirl”, specifically, seems to be the notion that women lack social grace and emotional intelligence, if, and only if, they’re “diseased”. Ergo, “healthy” women must have loads of “EQ”, which authorizes women’s gaining preeminent political power, which aim is implicit in most social justice discourse (e.g., Justice Ginsberg’s implicit claim that nine women justices would somehow be better able to rule on prostates, than nine men would be able to rule on ovaries.) Efforts for social justice are not “wrong”; they do currently incline toward power struggles that tend to injustice, as we’ll show.
Victims deserve an end to their victimization. Yet, to achieve power in pursuit of this aim, implies surmounting (or establishing) a power hierarchy – but hierarchy implies the caste systems of power which enable and indeed, require, victimization, e.g., of the out-group or underclass of the hierarchy (so that Ms. Wilkerson’s analysis is incomplete: hierarchy is a general condition of humans’ acting in concert [discounting the “free association” notion of anarchism, as seldom-observed, though anarchism as a field is a lamentably neglected]. Ergo, victimization of someone is intrinsically associated with a “society”).
If autistic people are only an abstract group in need of “awareness”, and at that, used for the benefit of others (or for non-autistics to flatter themselves with their unmerited attention bestowed unto the “sick”), then better to eschew society and its incessant victimizing hierarchies altogether.
Indeed, the general characteristic of autism is a difficulty in operating with non-autistics; we suppose any society, hierarchical or no, if majority non-autistic, tends to exclude them. So long as the non-autistic people exist and are in a majority, operation for autistic people is a basic impossibility.
Anyone who claims to be an “ally” of autistic people therefore must be a hypocrite, or disingenuous; most are parents for whom their autistic children are less a loved-one, than a problem . They’re happy to use autistic people as cudgels against Lena Dunham or Sia, or whomever, in their “who’s ‘in’, who’s ‘out’” one-upmanship social games. They don’t, e.g., accept stimming is just something some people do sometimes. No reason to think they ever will.
Besides, alliance implies reciprocity. Social reciprocity, in which autistic people will not be allowed to participate, and there’s no evidence “allies” have ever or will ever be recompensed in any way for any pains they take, nor are they historically useful for liberation anyway. And hypocrisy is the beginning of willful injustice as contradiction is of logical error.
(For how is it the inventors of heroin and rape should describe anyone else as “disordered”? And these people actually think there’s such a thing as “eye contact”, that that isn’t just staring at someone’s eye-holes, which it is, actually. As if any given facial configuration can’t indicate at least two emotions, as it does, so that they “read body language” as only what their wishful thinking makes it – which is what they actually do, and why harassment happens. In short, if they’re so damn “ordered”, and so superior in communicating: how could war exist? It couldn’t – ergo, they aren’t ordered. And so if truly a “bellum omnium contra omnes”, then how to cooperate to negotiate a social contract? So Thomas Hobbes was wrong).
People don’t actually like one another – which you’ll learn if ever you try to make the world a better place, after you fail because nobody would let you. How could they: nobody without autism notices enough to know anyone or anything else (which is the actual difference: the humans don’t notice jack sh*t. They just assume by wishful thinking: “I want you, so your face means you want me”; “I hate you, so your face is provoking me”. Autistic people notice the details and have to think it all through, and that can take years; lively conversations can’t take years, and people without pleasing conversation are disregarded).
The solution is to follow Charles Bukowsky’s epitaph-advice. And don’t ever try to have sex with anybody, and don’t want to. Everyone follows that advice: no more harassment. Who could ask for anything more? Besides, if it were so damn good why aren’t they always doing it? But they aren’t. So it isn’t. And it isn’t.
Whereas “Tohru Honda”-esque compassion that might make life bearable is nowhere observed, nor practiced.
Nor anyway is life “meaningful”: Psalm 30, verse ten/Psalms), flatly states the author did not believe in a “heaven” in spite of their supposed proximity to miracles. Hence the other Abrahamic faiths falter as genetic errors, descended from Judaism, considering the appeal of them all was an ultimate heavenly reward for the ills of life. Other faiths are inadequate, example, Buddhism’s compassion is in opposition to its non-attachment.
From all we now know and seemingly could know, life is as rolling a four on a pair of dice. It just happened. It doesn’t matter. (Obvious after attending at another’s deathbed, and being in a car that “died”. Only recently are both possible, and only recently is the former rare, so few know. In each case, they make odd noises, and then they just – stop. No “soul”, unless cars have souls. Soul a misconception).
It’s important only if there were someone to say: “If I roll a four, we all get laid.” In the beginning there was no such storyteller. Stories – lies – are the only thing that present an appearance of good in life. This is a “tragedy” only for humans telling a tragedy-tale. For the universe, it’s just something that happened. And later will unhappen. And never mattered, as accidents just happen, don’t “mean”.
It's difficult to avoid telling stories to yourself, but it’s the only way to acceptance which is all that you’ll ever have, since you can accept losing everything, too. The most beautiful lie is still only a lie, and it’ll leave you when you need it, because it was never there.
Probably better to leave.

I’m 4 months post-BU and dealing with really deep depression. My ex-boyfriend ended things suddenly over text saying he “lost the spark” along with a weird reason he’d never flagged and we haven’t spoken since. Not to excuse his behaviour but in retrospect I realise he’s probably either a dismissive avoidant, or at least has very avoidant tendencies. He’d also come off of his anti-depressants a week or two earlier which I now also suspect might have put the dagger in things.
I’m trying to move on but the confusion and suddenness has really impacted my mental health. As they do, things started off great and as the relationship got more secure and comfortable 9 months in, he cut and run. I’d always tried to show him love and keep things fun so I’m just really still struggling to get past this.
In this time I have been trying to move and focus on my wellbeing, getting into hobbies, and I’m probably about 25% hotter than I was before (lol). Still, I’m having days like today which feel so so dark and I can’t leave the house.
I’m not sure why I’m posting, I just feel like I need to get it out somewhere.

I am not OP. That is u/ProfessorBig5078 who posted in AmItheAsshole
Original Post April 21st, 2024
My girlfriend (F24) and I (M25) broke up about two weeks ago. It was more her call than mine, but we both knew things weren’t going well for a while. So, I was sad but not surprised. We ended things amicably and said we’d still be friends, whatever that means.
Anyway, we did the exchange of things in each other’s apartment a couple days after the break up and then didn’t talk again until two days ago when she texted me. We had been planning to go on a trip to the Canary Islands this year. The plane tickets were about $800 a piece and the AirBnb was like $1600, so we decided I’d just pay for the AirBnb and she’d pay for the flights.
The flights were non-refundable and we’re already past the date that I’d get any meaningful refund from the AirBnb, so I decided I’d just get a friend to split the AirBnb and go anyway.
I had been planning on telling my ex that I’d pay her for my ticket so she didn’t lose the money, but she texted me about it first. On Friday, she offered to pay me for the AirBnb minus the cost of my plane ticket, because she was still interested in going with a friend. I told her that I was actually planning on going with a friend, and I was going to pay her for my ticket and still go.
She said OK, but I actually needed to pay her for my ticket and half of the cost of hers because she can’t use it now. Basically, she says that she agreed to buy two plane tickets under the understanding that we would both go to on the trip. And I agreed to pay for an AirBnb under the same understanding. But since that’s not happening, we should evenly share the lost costs. Since I’m still using the room and my ticket, the only lost cost is her $800 ticket. And we should each bear $400 from that.
I told her that I didn’t think that’s fair at all. First of all, it was her idea to break up. So the reason we aren’t going is on her. Second, there’s no reason why she can’t use her ticket. She should just get an airbnb and still go with her friend. I even said I’d sit in her friend’s seat and let her friend in my seat so they can sit together. Whether or not she uses her ticket is on her, and she bears any cost of that.
She said she didn’t want to go at the same time as me and also the good AirBnbs are taken for that time. Anyway, we went back and forth and she even threatened to cancel the tickets even though she can’t get any money back. So I said, “You know what, go ahead cancel them, get whatever refund you can. I’ll just buy my own ticket and not pay you back anything.” She said, “I’m not gonna talk to you if you’re being a dick. Let’s talk about this later when you can be mature.”
That’s where it is right now. My friends are divided. Most say I should at least pay her for my ticket. Which I’m willing to do if she doesn’t cancel it! But some say I should pay for half of hers as well. I’m sticking firm that I won’t pay for half of her ticket, AITA?
Verdict was NTA
Update April 30th, 2024
Hey, thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I got so much more advice than I was expecting, and I appreciate it. A lot of you were saying the airline could do something. I told that to my ex, and she actually bought the tickets from a discount agency online and there was no refund possibility. If you’re curious, I can tell you how it all ended.
I eventually told my ex that I was not going to pay her more than the $800 for my ticket under any circumstances, and she could take it or leave it and I’d just get my own ticket. She later asked if I’d be willing to let her use the AirBnb if she paid me the entire $1600, basically letting me out of the whole trip all together. To be honest, the Canary Islands were her idea in the first place. It’s not like it’s my #1 destination. I could take the money and go somewhere that I am more interested in.
I asked my friend who was going to go with me if he’d be interested in something cheaper and closer. He hadn’t bought his plane ticket yet because he was waiting for me to sort everything out with my ex.
We looked at options and decided to accept her offer and go to Belize. I had my ex agree in writing to pay for any fees or damages incurred at the AirBnb. I really don’t think there will be any. She’s not the type of person to damage a hotel room or something, but I just want to be sure.
I got Venmoed the money by a male coworker of hers. They have been work friends for a while now, and I have met him a couple of times. I don’t know if this is like a couple’s thing or what. I don’t really think she cheated on me with him. I could see maybe her being interested in him possibly being a factor for our breakup. But I don’t even know if they are together or going as friends.
At the end of the day, I don’t really care what she does. I got my money back, she gets her vacation. I’m guessing her coworker also bought his own plane ticket, so at the end of the day he’s the one eating the $800 loss. So he can have fun with that. My ex and I are technically “amicable” again, but I don’t really plan on talking to her again. Thanks again for the advice.
I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts

So, I'm new here so forgive me if this has been spoken about before, but I've been thinking a lot about the problems we face today. Climate change, the exploitation of our environment, the way people are being undervalued and unable to feed themselves. The most obvious conclusion to me is that capitalism is responsible for all of these things. Capitalism encourages the exploitation of the environment for profit, the violence against people, the value of profit over anything else. It encourages the powerful to continue to destroy our environment and futures in order to maintain their power. Companies can know about a chemical being harmful or even deadly to human health for decades before their consumers become aware and they're forced to phase it out of production, and after that they're never held accountable or brought to trial for the countless lives they've affected.
So my question is, how would we fix this while still maintaining capitalism? Because I truly cannot see a way out of our current problems without completely changing the system to something more egalitarian, such as socialism. As long as people are reliant on the existing system to survive, we cannot change our ways to make sure the environment doesn't collapse under us. And if we don't change, the economy will collapse too. In fact, it's already starting.
You could say that the answer is to place stricter regulations on corporations and hold them accountable for their misdeeds and put in place actual, real consequences when they mess up. But my counter argument to that, is as long as capital = power, those who posses the capital will have significantly more leverage when creating or bending the rules. So you'll never be able to trust the government to make non corrupt decisions under capitalism, unless maybe they're like extremely moral and even then, I don't think there's such thing a politician with zero corruption. But I also really don't think a politicians' personal morals should be the thing to dictate whether or not they actually work for or care about the citizens who elected them.
But maybe you have another argument. I'm curious to hear your perspective.

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (28M) met 17 months ago on a dating app. At the time we were both in different countries and had set our location to a place we were both planning to visit. He asked me on a date for new years eve and even bought an event ticket for that night when we were both supposed to be there . Unfortunately a few days before my flight I got sick and never got to visit that country or see him there. I was expecting us to stop talking and I was talking/dating afew other people since I thought him and I would never meet in real life but to my surprise we started talking every single day and he was the sweetest guy I had ever met . We got to know each other pretty good to the point that he kept asking me to move to his country. After around 4 months of talking online he told me he’s getting a ticket and coming to see me for a week . And that’s when we had our first phone call , over that phone call he said he needs to tell me something because it might be a red flag for me and he just wants to be honest about it , he said he has dated a stripper before me (around 2 years before me) but they were never official and it was something casual just because he was lonely and she was pushy. To be honest I didn’t like hearing that but I was still okay with it. Fast forward to our first week together, we went on date every single day , we went to really nice restaurants and bars and he was putting in so much effort into our dates, we eventually spent the weekend together and that’s when he gave me a gift along with a letter telling me how much he loves me and then we were intimate for the first time and spent the entire weekend in his hotel room .
He went back to his country for work and came back to see me after 5 weeks and we had another amazing week together and that’s when I told him that I love him too so we got alot closer and talked about our past, about how he used to be a party boy and into drugs but he’s changed now and people we have dated and exes , and in a funny conversation the topic of body count came up and I told him mine is 3 and he said he has been with 6 people in total which was shockingly good in my opinion. He also told me that the last time he slept with someone was a year before me because he’s not into one night stands or casual sex because he is emotional and can’t just have that with anyone and that was very respectable and admirable in my opinion and made me fall in love even more . I was honest with and told him the last time I had slept with someone was a month or two into us talking but there was no emotion connection with that person, he was upset but he said he understood that we weren’t that serious back then .
He came back for the 3rd time after 2 weeks and that’s when we got an Airbnb and spent the whole week together cooking and talking like a married couple in love , on the same week we ran into a girl in our airbnb building and she was so happy to see my bf , she jumped to hug him and gave him a kiss on the cheek but my bf seemed kinda uncomfortable. After the interaction I was curious to know how does he know someone in my country so I asked him who she was and he said she is his high school classmate that lives in the same city as him now and she just got married so it must be a coincidence that she’s visiting too.
He was back to see me for another week after 2 weeks and at that point we both knew we are offical and that neither of us has even talked to anyone else for the past 4-5 months but we still didn’t put a label on it because I was so afraid of doing long distance and the fact that I was going to move to a country even further away from him in a month. On that week we went and got an STD test together and I even got an IUD so we don’t have to worry about using protection anymore. He knew that I had this unreasonable fear of contracting HIV and this was him being supportive and calming my nerves.
Afew weeks later I moved to a different country around 17000 miles away and when I was looking for a place there we decided to lease an apartment together and furnish our home together because he was planning on moving there to live with me . He came to visit me for a month and we had more amazing days together and became officially girlfriend and boyfriend .he was the sweetest most loving and understanding guy ever.
We did 3 month of long distance and I missed him so bad that I decided to leave everything behind and sell my stuff to go travel with him for 3 months and also go and visit his family and his hometown , it was hard but we made it work and we were both on cloud 9 for the first 2 weeks together. And after meeting his family things were even more serious , they all loved me and keep asking him when he’s going to propose and end the long distance and I even got invited to his brother’s wedding.
One night my trust issues got the best of me and decided to check his phone ( I know it’s bad) I didn’t see anything too bad as his chats were mostly deleted but I came across a chat with that high-school classmate I mentioned earlier and I found out that they had been on a few dates and that he had sent her the same sweet questions as he sent to me word for word. I also saw that they spent the night together and he had a hickey on his neck from her . I also saw that before meeting me he was sliding into girls dms calling them hot and being sexual and I was sooo shocked just because the image he showed me of himself was so so different. I gave him a chance to come clean in the morning but he kept on lying to my face till I showed him the chats , even then he denied ever sleeping with her . I was so hurt that so early in our relationship he could lie to my face for no reason .
I was upset so I left our villa to stay at a hotel, he kept texting and calling and begging me to give him another chance and go to dinner with him and I did, he was so apologetic he was so upset and he kept saying all he wants is to go back and never lie to me so I asked him to come clean about anything else he has lied about . I went over everything with him and asked if they were lies too? he said no . I decided to stay and give us another chance .
Just 3 days after that night I asked him if I can delete his exes number that is a stripper off his phone in front of him he said yes and when I went to delete it I saw their messages , it wasn’t from 2 years before me ! The last message was 15 days before meeting me and turns out she was actually his friend’s girlfriend and they were secretly seeing each other… I was so heartbroken I couldn’t believe he is a person like that and that he has lied to my face again! He used to always say he hates cheater and that he has been cheated on before so he would never do anything like that but in the chats they were making fun of that girl’s bf which was his friend.
He started apologising again and told me there is more, there is someone else he has slept with shortly before me and that whole not sleeping with anyone for a year and no one nights stands was lie to make me fall in love with him . I forgave him again and decided to help him not feel ashamed about his past .
4 days later I asked him to send me our STD test results from months ago to me again because I lost it and my doctor wanted see it he started looking at his emails and said he can’t find it so I offered to help him look and I found it in his trash folder, but again I wanted to give him a chance so I asked if he has deleted it? He said no ! Turns out he was tested positive for a very minor and not dangerous STD and because he felt ashamed he edited the results when he sent it to months earlier. And deleted it afew days prior. His excuse was that I’m very anxious and fearful about STDs so he didn’t want to worry me because the doctor said it doesn’t need a treatment , And again I was convinced .
A few weeks passed and we were arguing a-lot because of trust issues but we were trying to get help and work on the relationship, he even confessed that there were more small lies he has told me , like saying some of the girls he was following were his friends or friends of friends when in fact they were girls he had met on tinder before meeting me . I struggled to understand why he would lie to me about stuff like this when I had never showed to be a jealous or not understanding GF .
A few weeks later we were doing better and travelling different countries together and I thought we’re done with lies so one night I was overthinking and asked him about a blocked number I saw on his phone that first time I looked through it , I asked who’s number that was because It had the country code of the country I lived in when we first started dating. He reassured me that it’s probably a scam number and that I was overthinking but I wasn’t convinced so I put it into google and it brought up so many escort websites from that country. For a whole week I begged and cried for him to tell me the truth to tell me I’m not crazy and what I’m seeing is right but he denied it every time for a whole week and even cried because I couldn’t believe him till one morning when I promised him I won’t leave if he just tells me , he confessed that on that first week after or first or second date when he went back to his hotel room he looked at escort sites and texted them but kept swearing that he never saw one and to him it just like watching porn . Once again I was in disbelief because he used to always say people that pay for sex are evil and are using girls that might have been trafficked for sex , I was also heartbroken and disgusted that he could do that in my city , somewhere that was my home and he was supposed to be there just for me and the fact that I’d have been on the same bed we had sex for the first time and the same room he told me he loved me in only 2 days later …
He blamed it all on porn and his porn addiction, I was shocked because I never had a problem with him watching porn I had even asked him if he wants to watch it together but he always seemed not that interested. He said that he has had trust issues and the reason why he went on an escort site in the first place was to make sure I wasn’t one … Honestly I didn’t know what to do with that informations ! How could he even possibly think that but it doesn’t bother me what bothers me is thinking that he got on 5 hour flight and took me on all those nice dates thinking I might be an escort?? And when he realised I wasn’t he looked for a real one ? Like he was disappointed that I wasn’t an escort? After 5-6 months of talking to me all day and night . I couldn’t not understand and will never understand .
Because of my promise I stayed and went to therapy ever since then he keeps saying I know all of his dark side and secrets and there is nothing else he would lie to me about. He’s been super apologetic and putting up with my anxiety and hearing out my hurt and looking for ways to fix our relationship and trust.
Our trip ended and we are doing long distance again and I told him I won’t be like before because it takes time to rebuild trust he understood and said it’s fair for me to look for things or have doubts . The other night i was looking at his email to make sure there are no more escort or things like that and I saw an email from a almost a year before me , it was from a flowegift shop that he has bought me flowers from which was very meaningful to me .
I saw that he had sent the same flower to that stripper girl that he claimed he was never in a relationship with only difference is hers was way more expensive and it had a note saying she is his world and there was another flower order worth 500$ sent to the same girl and the note was he is sorry for not keeping his promises and that he is in love with her more than he could have ever imagined.word for word of how he has apologised to me.
He has been telling me for over a year now that he never told that girl he loved her without me ever asking him . So I asked him if he has ever bought her flowers? But I also sent him a text saying he doesn’t owe me anything from his past and he shouldn’t worry about hurting my feelings and just tell me truth because I love him . He said no . Afew hours later he said he remembered that it was one time and it was from the same shop but what he got me was better and once again without me even asking he said no but I never loved her and never told her I lover her . I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if there is a chance he doesn’t remember ? Maybe because it was over text ? He said no there is no way he wouldn’t remember saying something like that .
I sent him the email and all he had to say was that he wasn’t lying he just didn’t remember… And he kept saying but that’s all , I never got her anything else (like that’s the point) but I also saw another email in his trash folder and it was another gift order to the same girl and he deleted that email the same day so there is no way he wouldn’t remember those gifts …
I’m so done and over the lies but I’m starting to blame myself for asking things for caring about the past , my mind keep telling me at least he didn’t cheat on you . But then I remember he lied to me about things I never even asked for cared about. I remember that he might have been interested in me because he thought I might be an escort not because of who I am .
He has been the kindest and nicest person to me and has done everything to make sure I’m okay during our relationship . Am I doing something wrong? What to do ? I’m so confused

Hi everyone. Not sure if this is a rant, an update, or a request for support post, but we’ll see where it goes.
I just hit 3-weeks post-op, and I’m about to enter the dreaded 3 week lull where I have no clearly measurable milestones to achieve. I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid any major recovery pit falls so far, so there are positives to reflect on. I transitioned from a splint to a boot, and my sutures are out with no apparent issues. I can shower fully on a stool. I take my foot out of the boot at night and put in a night splint. That said, my recovery protocol seems a bit conservative. I’m NWB for six weeks, before I advance to FWB by week eight. Yes, I realize that everyone’s journey is different, but my calf is a noodle and seeing posts of others walking by this point is kinda discouraging. For me, it was a 6 CM tear, FHL transfer, Haglunds removal, removal of chipped bone and speed bridge will full open surgery. I’m not even sure I could have had a more aggressive protocol even if I wanted to, so I won’t dwell on that.
1) Those of you who had longer NWB protocols, how did you handle the times in between milestones?
Like others, I’ve had some ups and downs mentally. I will say though that except for housework (moving some stuff around and taking care of the yard), I really have done everything I would have done uninjured. I’ve gone to bars, restaurants, stores, met up with friends, teleworked, worked out, and been outside plenty. Despite this, I still occasionally get down because of the loss of autonomy. Making a conscious decision to pee when I wake up at 8:30 AM instead of 7:30 AM when I have to go because it’s a hassle to get up, sucks. It’s hard to focus on the fact I’m doing social activities when I can’t do normal routine things. If I get antsy on a normal day, I’d just take a quick walk.
2) How did you stay busy and refocus when your mind just wants to think about how shitty/boring the next 3 weeks will be?
I usually love binging shows, playing video games, and generally doing self directed activities around the house (journalling writing), but for whatever reason I don’t want to do those things right now. Maybe it’s some depression, or just a normal “I want to do things I can’t” mentality, who knows. Given it seems autonomy and time appear to be my biggest enemy, I’m contemplating the Iwalk again. I was in good shape before, so I opted for the crutches and a scooter initially. The Iwalk is alot of money though for just 3 weeks (even used). Adding in time to get adjusted to it, I’m not sure if it’s worth it.
3) Those who got the iwalk, is it worth it? Bear in mind I’ll be using it only for these three weeks.
Last question, 4) What are some non medical creature comforts you used to keep busy. I’m not talking the shower stool, pillows, boots, etc. but rather things you used to pamper yourself and help time pass.
Thanks in advance for reading and answering!

My 18 year old daughter is suddenly very entitled.
As many people in North America did on Sunday, we celebrated Mother’s Day. We stayed in, my husband, daughter and stepson, and watched movies and had snacks. The day was pretty relaxed and comfortable. Syepson had to go back to his moms for supper, my husband took him late afternoon. Then my husband and I made a big family dinner and his parents and our oldest son and his girlfriend came to enjoy with us. Mother’s Day has always been a strange day for me. I’ve always said all I want is to have a chill day with my family and enjoy each others company. There has not been one single year that has happened. In the past, my oldest son was usually bent on ruining the day for me some how. He would do things like sleep all day, say he forgot or just not even acknowledge the event. It was really hurtful and my oldest daughter, now 18, used to hey so upset with him when he behaved this way.
So this year, I was hoping for a miracle. As I said, the day went well and the evening was set up to be really good too. Everyone was chatting and supper turned out amazing, no bickering or snippy remarks between my in laws, the kids all seemed to want to be around, it was kinda perfect.
Now, in our house we’ve always had the rule that if you didn’t cook you help clean up. Fairly standard practice from what I can’t tell, compared to other families we know. It’s never even been a question, just get to it and many hands make light work.
Apparently all the kids just forgot that was a thing. Everyone left, just walked by my husband who stepped up to do the washing and didn’t give it a second thought. I followed the kids out to the front street and did an exaggerated shrug, got their attention and told them I was disappointed they were just leaving everything for us. This was no small dinner, it took several days of prep to brine and smoke the delicious turkey we served. Even after chasing them out to object, they both just drove away. Since I had already confronted them together I decided to discuss my issue with each of them separately. Since my son is out in his own now, I wasn’t as hard on him.
But here’s the thing, my daughter lives here full time and does nothing at all to help anymore. She was often at work in the evenings or with her boyfriend, until just recently when she stared a 9-5, so she didn’t have supper at home often. Because of her schedule, I would bring her dinner every night she works, making sure she had at least one decent meal a day. I didn’t expect her to come home at 9 pm and clean up, only to help out when she’s home. Now she’s home for supper most nights but still doesn’t lift a finger without being asked. And the attitude when she does have to pitch in is atrocious.
Now back to Mother’s Day, when I confronted my daughter I told her I was disappointed in the both of them. I told her her behaviour has been selfish and that I need her to start participating around the house. She refused to come home to talk that night. Monday she texted me to tell me she was coming over after work. That put me off further, you don’t come over to your own house. Her language made me feel like she doesn’t appreciate the free and supportive roof over her head. When we talked Monday evening my disappointment turned into anger and hurt. This kid had the audacity to say that having to help with dishes is me treating her like staff.
I am beside myself in the massive failure I feel about that. She grew up in a divided family situation but has two sets of parents to lean on and grow from. Her stepmother is a control freak and as a result, my daughter didn’t have chores over there. I knew that but made my expectation clear about our home, from the start. I just feel so helpless in this situation. If anyone has any advice or reminiscence of their own teenzilla, I’d love to hear it.

Well. Tomorrow was the day. David was aware of the looming deadline over his head, but the fact that it was tomorrow felt more real. David spent most of the day taking a moment to himself. From the Cyclops, to the chimera, to his two quests, he never felt like he did enough. His quests were just glorified scouting expeditions, so he hardly had any Kleos from that. Every injury, every broken bone, every cut and scrape kept him up at night as he wondered if the oath would kill him or if his journey would be the one that would be his end. And at the same time, a question ran through his head, every single day of his time he was in camp.
Was David a hero? To be honest, he wasn't sure.
All his sweat, all his tears, all the times he fought through the pain of broken bones, the times he fought back his anxiety. He refused for it to come to nothing. Even when he felt like he would end up like he’d fail. That he'd end up a cautionary tale for campers to refuse to do Styx Oaths, he still carried onwards.
His mood soured even more as he remembered Alkis. Hm…he wondered what was up with his friend/mentor. As his oath got closer and closer, he saw less and less of the son of Dionysus. A part of him wondered if he distanced himself, in case that he would end up having to deal with David if his oath were to be broken. Whatever happened to him, he hoped that he was doing well. He heard he was doing better at Olympus, back when camp visited. A shame he couldn’t be there to catch up.
As David’s mind continued to muse, another uncomfortable part of him realized that the oath that caused him so much stress might not have been such a bad thing. He found friends, and a girlfriend on his journey. Even his body changed, his physique turning more into lean muscle as he grew to be well over six feet in height. Win or lose his little wager, one thing was for sure, David changed for the better at the end of it.
Well, it still wasn't hard confirmation, which was killing him. Self-improvement was great and all, but David really hoped his efforts were enough to not get eternal damnation. In the last week, David spent the last few days in a state of peace, more or less. Like when you finish a final exam. No matter what happened, David couldn't stop it now.
So, Was David a hero? Well, he did all he could to try. The rest was up to fate.
But, David was not the only one with their mind on the next day. To his surprise, both of his best friends, Cel and Jules worked on the beach to set up a bit of an early birthday party. They set up a good amount of streamers and balloons on the beach, David’ favorite music and set up lots of sweets, with David’s favorite food, al pastor. It was nice to know that, even if ths was his last day before damnation, he could enjoy himself.
Eventually, as the birthday party went on, David stood up to give a speech. He gave a somewhat awkward smile as the night went on, well aware of his time that may be coming to the end.
“So…almost eighteen years. If you told me when I came to camp that I'd make a dumb bet in front of my dad and risk my eternal damnation, I'd probably think you were crazy. And maybe run away. But yeah, uh. Word of advice: please don't do a Styx oath. It's not just a spicy way to say I swear. Trust me, the stress will kill you.”
He chuckled as he took a drink of water. Clearing his throat, he continued to talk.
“But, to my family, to my friends, to Ellie. Thank you all, for helping me. I'm so lucky to have all of you in my corner. I've done all I could to uphold my end of the oath.”
He took a shaky breath, giving a smile that he tried to be reassuring, but it came out as more nervous than anything else.
“To be honest a part of me feels that I could have done more. But, whatever happens, happens. I just wish I could have had more…ah. You know…this is getting really heavy and like, I'd rather not so uh. Ahem. Everyone, please. Enjoy yourself. There's cake still I think…”
As the night went on, the son of Ares opened presents. He wasn't sure how practical this was, if he was being honest considering there was a non zero chance he wouldn't be able to enjoy it. But, he appreciated the gesture so, he gratefully opened each one. A Mythomagic box set, some Yu-Gi-Oh cards, some celestial bronze weapons… as he opened and opened every gift, there was one more box he saw. It was the size of a shoe box, in bronze giftwrapping. It didn't have a tag, or any way to tell who it was from. Huh. Odd. David opened the gift, and in the box was a bronze survival lighter and two pieces of paper, one folded and one rolled up. David picked up the smaller paper and read it out loud which said:
“To [DAVID RUIZ], we have reviewed your Styx oath in full and have determined that the oath has been fulfilled. In this package is your contract, now null and void. As it is no longer eternally binding, we recommend for you to dispose of it, as to avoid identity theft. We here at Styx Legal Associates recommend the traditional method packaged in with it, but as it is no longer binding for all of the afterlife, feel free to shred, burn or dispose of it as you see fit. Sincerely, Styx Legal Associates."
David opened the other paper, and sure enough it was his exact words, written on the contract. Along with…huh. So the Underworld has his social. Honestly, should have seen that coming. Making sure Jules didn't catch a peek at that, he grabbed the lighter and held it under his contract.
The paper burnt slower than David thought, the fire slowly chewing the contract as it pitted and blackened. David didn't realize he was holding his breath, until halfway through he let his breath out.
Two years. He forced himself in this oath for two years, proving to himself and hopefully, his father that he could shape up. It was risky, but his mind recalled when his Conquistador ancestors arrived to the New World, how they burnt their ships. It was a declaration, no going back.
Well, they were bastards, but the gesture was a neat idea.
David's eyes fixed on the paper, as if it would magically grow back if he turned his face away. This was it. Decisive victory, over his father for thinking he was a waste of space. But most importantly, against himself. His cowardice, his weak will, his anxieties. He took the pressure of the oath and became much better for it. For all the sleepless nights, for all the broken bones and near-death experiences it caused. The strange thing was he wasn't sure that he'd take it back if given the chance.
He wouldn't have met Ellie, or any other of his closest friends if not for his binding oath. So, as strange as it was, he felt a bit bittersweet as he watched it go up, now only a quarter of the contract left. As horrible as it was, it was a chapter of his life that molded who he was. Without the oath, forcing him to push himself every day to his limits, to ensure his own survival he wasn't sure that he'd be the person he was today.
Yet, he was looking forward to this new part of his life as the flame ate away at the paper. He watched it start to engulf the last remnants of it, reaching up to his fingertips.
“Ah!”
He instinctively waved his hand, dropping the shreds of paper as it fell onto the ground below. It burnt the last remnants until nothing was left but smoking ashes that David quickly put out with his shoe.
Finally. David was free.
And so, the Son of Ares, brave hero, on the night before his eighteenth birthday, wept.
OOC:
And there we have it! The conclusion to one of my favorite story arcs I've ever done in RP. Thanks to all of you for following along, from start to end! When I made David, I was surprised that, what originally was a simple character concept quickly became one of my favorites. It was really fun to write a character go from a wimp to a true hero in every sense of the word. With that, the curtains close on a two year long story arc. If you wanna rp with David, or just have your character hang during the party, both are good! This is a celebration both IC and OOC!
That being said, I'm not completely finished with David, so stay tuned...

I broke up with my ex back in September. I just was tired of her walking all over me, I enabled her and It had to end.
I’ll be honest, I broke NC after 2 weeks, by that time she already had a new bf, and she told me I’ll never hear from her again. After that, I told myself to fully move on, which I was doing very well… until she broke NC
at the end of March she messaged me a picture of the bracelet I bought her. It presented an opportunity for clarity, which I did get, but I’m skeptical and conflicted.
She apologized and said she’s done some changing, but I don’t buy it.
We spoke a bit more for a few weeks, didn’t see any changes tbh, I wasn’t super invested in the convos but she seemed very invested, until she blocked me. Which I was ok with
About a week ago, her brother reached out saying she’s still with her boyfriend and he’s monitoring all her devices, social media’s, so she didn’t want him getting jealous. She wants me to reach out apparently but if she really wanted to talk, she’d make it happen.
I’m pretty at peace though away from her so I don’t plan on reaching out, I spent the better part of 2 years chasing this girl, now that it’s over I’ve invested so much time into other people and things, working out more, doing better in school.
I don’t want that with her anymore, but my heart still has a place for her and I can’t put my finger on it. I’ll probably hear from her again, let’s just hope I don’t fold and entertain it.

(Sorry for my English)
So I (13F) was never in a relationship before and there's this one guy (13M) that I like and I think he likes me back too since he often looks at me since I became more attractive and tries to get closer, etc... He fortunately didn't confess yet (if he did I'd think about it too long to not break his heart). But the problem isn't that, it's:

1. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship yet

I'm aware that a lot of people of my age were already in a relationship since 6th, 7th, or 8th grade (my current grade). They usually last a few months and aren't too serious. They spend way more time with their friends instead, don't show it off because they're shy most of the time. I don't think they're too affectionnate and it's overall very casual and just for discovery, they also don't have a lot standards. This seems not too bad because I'm definitely not ready for a serious relationship and prefer a casual one for discovery as well but even for this I'm not too sure... But I'm an extreme coward so I don't go out of my comfort zone often, and I often find myself regretting a lot of undone things. Maybe I should go out of my comfort zone this time and live my life like the other kids of my age (I have a slight social anxiety and I'm extremely introverted and shy).
He's okay with a relationship too cause he was already in a... 6 weeks lasting relationship... ijbol. But how can I check if I'm ready for a relationship cause I don't want to waste his time? If you guys say yes, I'm thinking about talking to him first and checking if he actually likes me and if we're compatible with each other, so like seeing each other before establishing an official relationship.

1. If I do have a seeing each other phase before an official relationship, what we call a flirting relationship here, what should I do?

What should I talk about? He's a normal guy of his age, he likes gaming, sports, tiktok, he has a guy humor... What if we don't find a lot of similarities? Is it a problem? Maybe it's not for a casual relationship, maybe you could just like each other and it wouldn't matter. But I can't help but think about this. I'm more of a Kpop and Kdrama person, and I hate sports and gaming... Also his humor is so so ijbol but I still find him cute and attractive. But I'm just curious, do you always have to have some similarities?
Thank you for your help!! It's almost the end of the year and I don't want any regrets 😭