Chase utley divorce and wife

My wife has been having an affair with her boss for eight months, and I’m unable to confront her because it would end our decade-plus marriage. She has no idea that I know. Our relationship has improved significantly over the last eight months, since I found out and have tried to do everything I can to reverse course, and she engages in the affair during business trips several times per year. She used to be heavily involved in the emotional aspect of the affair, avoiding me and spending countless hours on texts and calls, and she was being very cruel towards me. But that has changed; she is back to loving me again and no longer spends time away from me.
We had a perfect marriage until I became depressed two years ago and basically stopped eating because I decided I wanted to lose weight. This led to a loss of libido and pretty severe depression, both of which I thought were intractable until I started eating again due to the stress of everything going on. During her last business trip, something happened that destroyed me completely, and I just need someone with experience to talk to.
We can't divorce because I love her and also because we have mutually built an entire life together. I’m still in shock because we’ve been together since we were very young, were each other’s first real relationship, I have supported her to become a high earning professional (giving up my own career dreams and earning ability), and we have always been very conventional in the clean way we live our lives. It's so hurtful being a prisoner without being able to acknowledge what has happened and what is happening, without ending everything. If there’s anyone out there who would talk to me, I’d be so grateful.

Throwaway because my wife is a redditor. My wife and I separated about a month ago and she recently told me she wants a divorce with no interest in counseling or reconciliation. During all of this we had a trip to Mexico planned with the kids, 9 and 6. I had been dreading this trip as I was expecting my wife to wear a mask of happiness for the kids but be cold and distant to me. Instead, she has been overly friendly and nice with me, even when the kids are not around (talking, laughing, joking around). She is still keeping up boundaries such as sleeping in separate rooms but nothing that she is doing makes any sense. I do not want to talk with her about it because she usually shuts me down when I bring up the future. Has anyone ever experienced a situation like this?

So I'm in the process of wrapping up my divorce and I feel like I'm truly ready to date. 7 months out from separation, initiated by her cheating on me with some gross POS. We were together since high school, and I realized I was not ready to date up until now. I had self esteem issues due to getting obese but I've lost a shit ton of weight (125 lbs), dressing well, getting my overall look better, and I'm more confident.
I know for a fact I'm not ugly, my ex wife was a solid 7/8 out of 10 for years until we both let ourselves go. I tried OLD, got a decent amount of matches, most were women I would never date, either land whales or decent/good looking women with obvious issues.
I'm rusty as hell at flirting, and the landscape has changed. I absolutely despise OLD, but I want to organically date. Got some ideas, but to those who got tired of OLD and found a good girlfriend/wife, I'd like to know how you did it. Any ideas is appreciated.

And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance

I don’t want to delve much into the woman’s perspective in this discussion, more about the men’s as much as possible. A lot of black men today are moving away from what people call “traditional dating” and “relationships/marriage” - what I’ll define simply as the man being the main initiator and chaser, and being the main provider and backbone of the family. Provider is such a charged buzzword nowadays because of that idea and rejection of older, established ideals.
Those men are practicing a spectrum of reversal - from requiring more equal/reciprocal energy from the woman they’re chasing, to outright refusing to chase in favor of being chased, refusing to step into the role of sole provider and requiring the woman to bring her own financial support to the relationship. Obviously, this makes sense, especially in modern US (where I am) because of the economy.
But I (23M) still don’t exactly get it. I mean, it makes sense to me to want to be pursued because of your worth, as a person and as a partner. It makes sense to be attractive in multiple ways and for that to be recognized and sought. That, I understand - I wouldn’t want my value to be dictated solely on what I can provide, or how I make you feel…
But why not go after the woman I want, and go after her hard with intention? Why not prove I’m the best man for her, the rest are lesser compared to me? I’m spending all of this time building the life I want, building the foundation so the family I create will thrive however they so please…
I don’t get the far end of the “modern” dating spectrum, where the man waits for a woman to see him and go after him. That doesn’t make sense to me at all, you spent all this energy, all of this work, to wait and be picked?
And even the more middling side of that, of course I want the woman I’m interested in to be interested back, but aren’t those men kind of waiting? It makes sense to me that the woman I’m going to be pursuing has a lot going for her, and therefore is pursued by other men… Isn’t it up to me to show her why I’m the best among the competition?
And then, after that’s all said and done she is mine… I’m unsure what the general consensus is on the less traditional side, but it just feels right in my bones to want to make the table and put something on it. Mothers, especially new mothers, go through such an ordeal the first few years, and so will the father who is putting in as much equal work with the baby as he can, but I don’t think it will ever be truly equal. It’s sacrificing energy vs sacrificing energy & body, most women get put into a disadvantage because of that when it comes to careers and education if they weren’t very well established beforehand. Someone has to provide the bulk during that time, and then after to be able to support her getting back to where she wants to be outside of being a mother and wife. Where do more modern minds fall when it comes to that?

He wasn’t any worse than he was pre-jump. He was just a person who was back from prison and looking for getting his life back under control after losing his career, his reputation and knowing his wife didn’t want to come and see him in prison, Benji was taken back by Danielle when he was in prison.. he was desperate and looking for love and acceptance.
Meanwhile Bree on the podcast acknowledged herself as Rex’s widow instead of Orson’s wife. Did not make time for him to even have a meal together, when he kept asking her and tried to share his loneliness. Said his name is a sound that plunger would make. Told Andrew he did better than herself when Andrew told that he is dating a doctor. Told Orson he is worthless. Insulted Orson in front of Alex (Andrew’s fiancé). All this time Orson was perfectly reasonable and supportive of her success, even was putting up with her insults with a smile. Other than the pot roast scene, but the events that lead to this was Bree’s podcast scene and then telling Orson she is ashamed to admit her husband is felon because she is a “public figure” now.
When she decided to divorce Orson because he wanted her to sell her business to make him happy, she started plotting with Karl against him to steal all his assets including those which he earned before his prison time, and the business she started with Orson and Rex’s earned income. When she staged burglary and Orson filed an insurance, she came clean saying she did it because she wants a divorce but does not want to share her business. When Orson said this would be insurance fraud and he will turn her in if she divorces him, she started playing victim of the situation that Orson is blackmailing her to stay in marriage and started cheating with Karl for sex!.
All this time she could have walked free keeping her independece intact by divorcing him and letting him have what was rightfully his, considering business was also started by his money. Instead what she did was, she justified her stealing from Orson, and sending Orson to prison all in her head, but what broke the camel’s break was Orson telling her that she will now need to go to prison for insurance fraud for staged burglary.
She was not an innocent victim. Let’s stop pretending that she was blackmailed for something that wasn’t due to her own fault, greed and selfish actions. Orson was wronged by her way too much to actually let this slide by that she was trying to really plan against him, steal his assets, all this time with a divorce lawyer. Orson wasn’t right to blackmail her, but she made the blackmail rule first.

O.J. Simpson is gone-dead from cancer earlier this year. Rewind back to the 90's. O.J, or not O.J. depending on who you ask, stabbed his ex-wife and her boyfriend to death in Los Angeles. The whole country was subsequently held hostage with round the clock O.J. coverage in the wake of the murders*. Its all anyone talked about and there was no way to escape it. There weren't thousands of channels to flick to, or dozens of streaming services available to seek refuge-in far away from the insanity.
However, after his acquittal he seemed to simply fade from public view-absorbed back into the stained fabric of American society. That was of course before he was locked up for nine years in 2008 for attempting to rob his own memorabilia at gunpoint. So what was he doing with his freedom in the years prior?
Nothing. Well, almost nothing. In 2006, executive producer Rick Mahr, famous for the highly-cerebral Backyard Wrestling series, decided it would be a good idea to tap into the reality show boom with an MTV Punk'd themed prank show featuring O.J. Simpson.
It was a one-hour special that featured O.J. himself engaging in a series of pranks ranging from dressing in rags while selling oranges on the side of a highway, to him serving and insulting fat customers in a fast-food drive thru. At the end of the gig, he'd come clean and tell the victim with a smile "you just got Juiced!" Most of the pranks fell flat on their face: people sometimes didn't recognize O.J. or didn't understand the prank, or the whole idea was just too damn stupid.
But the icing on the cake was the skit where O.J. attempted to sell a replica of his white Ford Bronco, which incidentally was discontinued for years after the murders (but that's another story, you can see below for a few more details). The Bronco even sported a real bullet hole, which The Juice himself signed right above it.
O.J. seems to reflect on the whole Bronco chase as simply comical. Is this some dark type of new-age therapy? "It has great escapability!" he keeps informing customers. Does he admit that there was a dead body in the car? Was it him who placed it there? I have never heard O.J speak so candidly about details from the aftermath of the murders.
Here are some exchanges between O.J. and potential 'customers' as reported in the NPR This American Life episode 564-Too Soon?:

Man: Is there $10,000 in here?
O.J: Nope, Nope. No $10,000,
Man: ...You were carrying it, you know?
O.J: Naw, naw. They say that, I was carrying about $3.
Man: $3?
O.J: Yeah, that's why they never brought it up in court.

In another exchange:

O.J: It was good for me.
Man: Yeah?
O.J: Got me out of harm's way.
Man: ...Ok, I'll sit in it...there was a dead body in there.
O.J: Yeah. Well, um, hopefully there's no bodies in this thing. And I can guarantee you, the car has escape-ability. I mean, if you're ever getting into some trouble, and you've got to get away, it has escape-ability.
Man: (Laughing)

He'd be locked up soon after this aired. Apparently only about 100 DVDs ever sold, and there are no other details about the profits made from the pay per view event, or O.J.'s fee for appearing in the special.
All in all, it was a completely ill-conceived idea with even worse execution that somehow was spewed into existence. It reeks of a desperation for money from all parties involved, none of whom seemed capable of creating any well-written gags for the camera. However, it is memorable in the shock-value of seeing an accused murderer making light of the truck he rode in after he supposedly stabbed his wife and her boyfriend to death.
Most humans will live a rich, full life never knowing this even exists. For the woeful few who do see it, you can't help but leave with an overwhelming feeling that O.J. was a twisted and broken man at this point, straining to grasp at even the the slightest hint of his former celebrity and adoration.
\To most people born post 1980s, OJ Simpson was a famous athlete accused, then acquitted of murder who'd later serve time for a completely unrelated crime.*
But to the rest of us, OJ is the single most infamous athlete name of our lifetimes--the shockwave that was sent through the country when it was announced that his ex-wife and her boyfriend had been murdered in Los Angeles, was unprecedented.
Its impossible to recreate the magnitude of this mono-cultural event that was the OJ Trial, and words don't begin to describe the fall from grace of one of the most beloved sports stars ever.
We'll never be able to forget the image of the low-speed white Ford Bronco chase with dozens of police cars in not so hot pursuit, or the inhumanly long trial that fractured the country along racial lines, or the glove that don't fit (so you must acquit!).
To the younger generation: try to imagine waking up to read that one of the Manning brothers had been accused of bumping off their significant other. Maybe that serves to illustrate the disbelief that we were all hit with that one night in June, 1994.
After the 8 month murder trial (yeah, how many of you had forgotten it lasted that long?), OJ was a free man. Images of him happily golfing sent waves of anger through white America, who felt like justice was cheated by a slick defense team that highlighted the racist tactics of the LA police department. On the heels of the Rodney King video and subsequent riots, this was not only a brilliant strategy, but one rooted in a great deal of truth.
A civil lawsuit followed in which OJ was found responsible for the death of Ron Goldman and ordered to pay his family $33 million. To my knowledge, they never received a cent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOEcsIghRpg

So, my little sister is a supervisor at their job and he’s an employee. He is divorcing his wife (of 20+ yrs), who he has an 18 yo and 14 yo with. My sister is paying his mortgage and she’s willingly doing it. I feel like I’m being judgmental but red flags are everywhere for me, she says she’s happy and that’s all I ever want for her, but I feel like she’s being used and I don’t want to meet this dude. Should I meet this dude? I don’t want to push my sister away, but I really don’t want to meet this dude. How do I help her or maybe help myself to not be such a b**ty hole if I’m the one over thinking. So Reddit, #AITA

I want to divorce my wife as soon as i finish bootcamp how would i go about this does the military cover the expenses? and are there lawyers located on base who can help with this?

Disclaimer-this is going to be a lengthy post so those of you who want to comment please make sure you read the entire thing and not just recklessly skim the post
To start off I am 18 years old as of writing this thread and five years ago both I and my brother were removed from my mother's care and placed into foster care. The reason being I ran away with my brother who was two years old at the time was because of the severe abuse and almost torturous conditions me and him were living under. Constantly beating, biting, punching and kicking me.
I remember on a few occasions were she beat into my skull with a metal spoon and I started bleeding and too matters worse this was before we were heading off the barbers so my hair was bloody and oily and it stung every time the razor would come into contact with the wound.
Things got so bad that I remember many times as a child being 8-9 years old and asking Allah why was I given such a horrific mother? What did honestly do to deserve this? even worse I asked Allah to end my life. My mother has been assaulting me since I was 4 years old. My younger brother was born when I was 10 and I remember holding him for the first time I've always been an only child so I was pretty happy to have a younger brother however who knew life would become increasingly harder after this
A year after my brother's birth she began
Whenever she was feeding him and he vomited she snapped and beat him like there was no tomorrow and there I was forced to watch the entire thing incapable of doing anything. I stood there and watched my baby brother being brutally beaten into submission and I couldn't do anything about it. This continue for about a year and a half and she advanced to hitting my brother's head and choking my brother in order to prevent him from throwing up but that just made it worse but then again it also lit a spark in me and the possibility of maybe running away.....
I thought about it over and over and was a very dangerous task to do but I couldn't,
I couldn't watch my brother being completely dominated like that. I grew numb to the beating I got; I didn't mind it anymore but not my brother, watching him hopeless like that was worse than anything my mother ever did to me. I planned everything out and ran off with my brother unfortunately we were caught by my aunt and you can guess what happened but I ran away again with my brother until we were caught by the police and I explained everything which then my brother and I were taken away from my mother's guardianship and placed in foster care and my mother was investigated.
I remember seeing my mom a year later after school which was a very awkward reunion to say the least but she started to break down and apologise but to be honest I couldn't care any less and this all happened when I was 14 and I haven't seen my mother since
I very recently left foster care which was a bag of trauma itself but I moved in with my father both he and my mother divorced when I was 7 and know he has his own wife and kids (my brother and I have two different father btw). Very recently my father has been pushing me to go and see my mother and when I ask him why he's only argument is 'because she's your mother' I argued with his poor reasons and how he never understood anything since he was never really there and his opinions are invalid. My father constantly brings it up and it's starting to become unbearable.
I asked my father one day 'Is a mother allowed to curse at a child' and he responds saying yes it's her child and this told me everything I needed to know about what he think about this situation.
His logic is that a mother can do anything inhumane to a child and make the child's life a living hell and the child is just supposed to sit there and take it because she's his mother. He even added that I should go to my mother apologise to her and that I am in big trouble with Allah at the moment; if my mother dies right now angry at me the my akhirah will be doomed?
What a ignorant and brainless way of thinking- she does a poor job at raising me and because I decided to take me and my brother out of her care in fear that she would one day inflict enough damage on my brother that'd she kill him it's my fault?
This is the same issue I had with my relatives everybody sees me as the villain and her as this innocent saint who's done no wrong. My mother's sister who was my aunt forced me to damage one of my sexual organs as a punishment and despite all of this my father still believes I am in the wrong and I shouldn't have ran away. I'm really starting to hate him he chose the perfect wife to raise his little kids and they live their best lives yet he continues to remind me of my unforgivable action of abandoning my mother who he chose to have a child with
I'm just so sick and tired of people weaponizing Islam and trying to make me feel bad about what I've done saying 'Your kids will do the same to you when you become a parent'
Even when I visit Jummah and listen to the Khutbah they always regurgitate this constant notion of respecting your parents and by all means I have no issue with and I understand that parents and seniors in generals are well respected in Islam no problems at all but they always neglect the privileges children have over their parents and all this does is create parents who are practically egomaniacs and use Islam to justify their despicable parenting
In all honesty I don't ever want to see her face again and even hearing her name is enough to irritate me, I'm constantly told to forgive her for the sake of Allah and even that I don't want to do
My brother was diagnosed with autism when I was 15 I was in a very dark place when heard the news my experience in foster care was bad enough and they separated me and my brother and now he's got autism it did nothing but completely amplify my hatred for her my brother won't be able to do certain things others can do and I know kids can be mean so he'll more than likely have a pretty difficult time in school. Maybe she hit his delicate head to hard as a child rewiring his development? or maybe I'm just coping
I understand this life is a test and we're told to pass through as though we're travellers
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I forgot about it, until some guy pulled up Some receipts, so here it is…

 The History Of Ye: The year of 1977, a year to remember. A superstar was born during this year. The young Kanye West, now known as Ye, was birthed into this world by Donda and Ray in the ATL. Ye may have grown up lower middle class but he had a great background with his mother, Donda, being a well-spoken, charismatic, and wise woman, and his father, Ray, being a Black Panther Journalist. Unfortunately, the two parents would split when Ye was around the age of 3, and Donda got Ye to move with her to Chi-Town. Ye would go to a variety of places with his mother, even places like China! Young Ye was a great student and characterized as charismatic and outspoken by his teachers. He would graduate in the 90’s, where his career really began to spring. Ye always wanted to be a producer, so he took the opportunity and ran with it. He first started making beats for local guys, and then bigger artists like Common, and even bigger ones like Jay-Z, starting in the early 2000’s. However, Ye also wanted to be a rapper, even being in a group called the Go Getters, but no label wanted to sign him. That was until a reluctant Dame Dash of Roc-A-Fella signed him to a record deal. Things weren’t always sunshine and rainbows though, as Ye would get into a car crash in early 2003, making his jaw wired shut. This did not stop the determined Ye however, ash he pushed through and dropped his hugely successful and influential The College Dropout. Then he did it again with Late Registration, and again with Graduation….but this streak of happiness and well health for Ye would snap with the death of his mother, Donda…. Everything began to go downhill from there. That along with the break up of his fiancée inspired his fourth album, 808’s & Heartbreak. Ye would start spazzing out, however, even crashing the MTV VMA’s to interrupt a young Taylor Swift. This caused Ye to go into exile, but not for long, as the release of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy bringing the world back to him, and then Watch The Throne with close friend Jay-Z. He even started his own label during this time, G.O.O.D. Music, and got married to the love of his life Kim, having 4 kids in North, Saint, Psalm, and Chicago. He went on to drop Yeezus, experimental and influential, and The Life Of Pablo, a modern piece of art. His mental health would begin to spiral again however. He had to cancel a whole tour and was medicated at UCLA, where Ye was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. He would embrace the diagnosis however, dropping Ye, Kids See Ghosts with close friend Kid Cudi, and several other executively produced albums in 2018 all while under a controversy revolving around slavery and the president. After this period, Ye completely gave his life to Jesus, forming the Sunday Service Choir and scrapping a whole album to reshape it as Jesus Is King. Ye was finally mentally clear….until he and Kim started having issues. Ye would drop Donda in 2021, dedicated to his deceased mother, another gospel album, but behind the scenes, Kim wanted a divorce, and started hanging out with other guys like Pete Davidson. 2022 would be the worst year of his life, scrapping a whole album he already “dropped”, hanging out with weirdos and creeps, and then the straw that broke the camel’s back….becoming publicly antisemitic, praising Hitler on live media. This snapped his sponsorship deals in half, including the generational Adidas deal. All hope was lost….until Ye found a new wife in Bianca, and a real friend in Ty Dolla $ign, who dug Ye out from his grave and released a collab album with him, Vultures 1. There may be a Vultures 2 and 3 one day, but Ye’s current state of mind is unknown, with rumors of an old demon coming back on his shoulders. Will Ye find more help? Will Ye spaz again? We will know soon for certain… 

Hope you enjoyed :)

Like the title says. My wife and I decided to rewatch, rate, and in the process rank every TNG episode. As I was inspired in part by the TNG re:View episodes, it felt only right to share our results here, where no doubt you reasonable people will be very diplomatic about your opinions on these scores/rankings. Scores for two-parters were averaged into one.
1 S2E09 The Measure of a Man 9.77 2 S3E17 Sins of the Father 9.33 3 S3E26 The Best of Both Worlds 9.13 4 S4E12 The Wounded 8.97 5 S4E21 The Drumhead 8.92 6 S2E08 A Matter of Honor 8.85 7 S6E11 Chain of Command 8.78 8 S3E10 The Defector 8.57 9 S7E25 All Good Things... 8.54 10 S3E19 Captain's Holiday 8.54
11 S7E15 Lower Decks 8.54 12 S3E23 Sarek 8.49 13 S5E19 The First Duty 8.49 14 S3E15 Yesterday's Enterprise 8.49 15 S6E15 Tapestry 8.46 16 S4E26 Redemption 8.42 17 S3E16 The Offspring 8.41 18 S5E25 The Inner Light 8.38 19 S5E02 Darmok 8.31 20 S5E16 Ethics 8.28
21 S6E23 Rightful Heir 8.23 22 S5E23 I, Borg 8.2 23 S3E21 Hollow Pursuits 8.18 24 S4E02 Family 8.18 25 S5E03 Ensign Ro 8.18 26 S3E04 Who Watches the Watchers 8.16 27 S4E11 Data's Day 8.13 28 S6E14 Face of the Enemy 8.05 29 S7E24 Preemptive Strike 8.05 30 S4E14 Clues 8.05 31 S5E14 Conundrum 8 32 S3E07 The Enemy 7.97 33 S7E12 The Pegasus 7.95 34 S7E05 Gambit 7.92 35 S6E26 Descent 7.91 36 S02E16 Q-Who? 7.9 37 S4E24 The Mind's Eye 7.9 38 S2E03 Elementary, Dear Data 7.87 39 S6E20 The Chase 7.85 40 S4E07 Reunion 7.82 41 S4E19 The Nth Degree 7.82 42 S4E03 Brothers 7.64 43 S6E24 Second Chances 7.64 44 S5E10 New Ground 7.62 45 S5E07 Unification 7.62 46 S5E24 The Next Phase 7.59 47 S4E08 Future Imperfect 7.54 48 S5E18 Cause and Effect 7.54 49 S6E12 Ship in a Bottle 7.54 50 S7E21 Firstborn 7.49
51 S6E09 The Quality of Life 7.41 52 S6E13 Aquiel 7.38 53 S3E02 The Ensigns of Command 7.33 54 S3E22 The Most Toys 7.33 55 S5E09 A Matter of Time 7.33 56 S4E15 First Contact 7.31 57 S7E06 Phantasms 7.28 58 S6E22 Suspicions 7.26 59 S7E09 Force of Nature 7.26 60 S1E21 The Arsenal of Freedom 7.23 61 S6E17 Birthright 7.23 62 S1E19 Coming of Age 7.23 63 S7E10 Inheritance 7.12 64 S6E21 Frame of Mind 7.03 65 S2E20 The Emissary 7 66 S4E25 In Theory 7 67 S4E20 Qpid 7 68 S2E05 Loud as a Whisper 6.98 69 S4E05 Remember Me 6.98 70 S6E07 Rascals 6.97 71 S4E22 Half a Life 6.95 72 S6E25 Timescape 6.95 73 S2E21 Peak Performance 6.92 74 S4E23 The Host 6.9 75 S7E11 Parallels 6.9 76 S1E20 Heart of Glory 6.85 77 S2E07 Unnatural Selection 6.85 78 S3E01 Evolution 6.85 79 S6E18 Starship Mine 6.82 80 S7E03 Interface 6.82 81 S6E04 Relics 6.80 82 S6E05 Schisms 6.77 83 S2E13 Time Squared 6.72 84 S5E17 The Outcast 6.6 85 S2E02 Where Silence Has Lease 6.59 86 S4E06 Legacy 6.59 87 S3E06 Booby Trap 6.59 88 S3E14 A Matter of Perspective 6.56 89 S6E02 Realm of Fear 6.56 90 S7E13 Homeward 6.56 91 S4E10 The Loss 6.51 92 S2E14 The Icarus Factor 6.49 93 S6E08 A Fistful of Datas 6.49 94 S7E08 Attached 6.46 95 S4E16 Galaxy's Child 6.44 96 S3E09 The Vengeance Factor 6.41 97 S4E09 Final Mission 6.41 98 S6E19 Lessons 6.36 99 S3E08 The Price 6.36 100 S1E25 Conspiracy 6.33
101 S1E13 Datalore 6.31 102 S3E24 Menage a Troi 6.31 103 S5E06 The Game 6.31 104 S3E03 The Survivors 6.26 105 S2E11 Contagion 6.26 106 S4E18 Identity Crisis 6.26 107 S5E12 Violations 6.26 108 S3E13 Deja Q 6.23 109 S7E16 Thine Own Self 6.23 110 S5E21 The Perfect Mate 6.2 111 S3E05 The Bonding 6.2 112 S5E04 Silicon Avatar 6.2 113 S3E25 Transfigurations 6.15 114 S6E06 True Q 6.13 115 S3E18 Allegiance 6.13 116 S1E22 Symbiosis 6.1 117 S2E17 Samaritan Snare 6.08 118 S2E06 The Schizoid Man 6.05 119 S5E26 Time's Arrow 6 120 S3E11 The Hunted 5.98 121 S4E17 Night Terrors 5.95 122 S5E05 Disaster 5.92 123 S1E24 We'll Always Have Paris 5.87 124 S3E12 The High Ground 5.85 125 S2E01 The Child 5.82 126 S1E09 The Battle 5.82 127 S6E03 Man of the People 5.82 128 S5E11 Hero Worship 5.8 129 S7E22 Bloodlines 5.77 130 S2E15 Pen Pals 5.74 131 S4E04 Suddenly Human 5.74 132 S4E13 Devil's Due 5.74 133 S1E16 Too Short a Season 5.69 134 S3E20 Tin Man 5.69 135 S5E13 The Masterpiece Society 5.64 136 S5E20 Cost of Living 5.6 137 S7E07 Dark Page 5.59 138 S1E15 11001001 5.51 139 S1E10 Hide and "Q" 5.49 140 S1E18 Home Soil 5.49 141 S5E15 Power Play 5.49 142 S7E02 Liaisons 5.44 143 S7E23 Emergence 5.38 144 S1E08 Justice 5.23 145 S1E07 Lonely Among Us 5.2 146 S1E26 The Neutral Zone 5.1 147 S5E22 The Imaginary Friend 5 148 S2E12 The Royale 4.98 149 S7E19 Genesis 4.92 150 S7E17 Masks 4.87
151 S1E06 Where No One Has Gone Before 4.8 152 S1E23 Skin of Evil 4.74 153 S2E04 The Outrageous Okona 4.74 154 S1E12 The Big Goodbye 4.64 155 S7E20 Journey's End 4.62 156 S7E18 Eye of the Beholder 4.54 157 S1E17 When the Bough Breaks 4.51 158 S2E10 The Dauphin 4.51 159 S7E14 Sub Rosa 4.46 160 S1E11 Haven 4.36 161 S1E01-02 Encounter at Farpoint 4.28 162 S2E18 Up the Long Ladder 4.2 163 S1E05 The Last Outpost 4.1 164 S2E19 Manhunt 3.74 165 S1E14 Angel One 3.64 166 S1E04 Code of Honor 2.74 167 S1E03 The Naked Now 2.62 168 S2E22 Shades of Gray 2.54

I had a boss who was hired around the same time I was and was paid three times as much as I was, yet he couldn't even type on a computer or figure out spellcheck. He gave me a negative performance review because I let him publish a document that had a spelling error in it that he didn't catch. How dare me.
When our finances started failing, I was the one axed instead of him because he was 64 and I was 28, even though he had 0 leadership skills and I was essentially begging him to communicate and be open-minded to new ideas. He was terrible at giving instructions, provided me no training because he didn't even know how to do my job, and he viewed questions as signs of me not being qualified rather than being qualified enough to pursue answers and not act solely on my assumptions, as he does.
He was fired from his previous job for running that place into the ground. I giggled when I heard that the institution plummeted even deeper without me and that they had to hire 2 people to replace my role. I had a lot of ideas to avoid that, but he didn't like my ideas and pushed the blame on me for causing failure (ultimately just following his orders). It's almost as if I had a modern master's degree and he was less qualified than me on every gauge except length of work history.
It didn't surprise me when one day his wife dropped by to say hello, and he just asked, "What do you want?" She should have divorced him a long time ago because (1) he's insufferable as a person and has no emotional regulation skills, and (2) he takes no accountability, including with raising his children.
Her first sign to leave should have been that 2 days after she gave birth to their first child, he went on a solo vacation that she didn't even want him to go on, but he didn't see the issue and still doesn't. I'm amazed there was even a second child. She does everything around the house and he'll just watch TV and go golfing with his friends. (His wife worked in a different department and called or stopped by for various reasons during my time there. We talked a lot.)
Oh, to have the unquestioned and injustly tolerated authority of a salaried white Boomer man who was bumped up the corporate ladder when it was expected rather than earned...and whose angry threats were yielded to rather than seen as red flags that he didn't know how to collaborate and was unwilling to recognize that someone may have a single insight he doesn't.
He acted like he was doing everybody a favor by working there rather than retiring. As if going on 2-week vacations during our busiest scrambles of the fiscal year (he took 6 vacations in 10 months and would more than not show up to work at least an hour late and leave hours early to go golfing) was helpful at all.
My biggest regret in life is not being 15 years older. Might have had a shot in that work economy to have a better paying job and more influence than a discarded peanut shell.

I’m a 33M in my second marriage with 3 kids and I can’t find happiness. I promise I do everything I can as a man to make my partner happy and it’s never noticed. I just had back surgery and the two weeks I’ve been down, my wife’s laziness truly shows. Dishes full in the sink, never any food and the place is just a wreck. I muster up the strength to wash the dishes and the first words out of her mouth were “I said I was going to do those” not even a thank you husband for stepping up when you see us behind. Before this surgery I washed the dishes (by hand mind you since we don’t have a washer) I wash the clothes, I cook the food OR bring the food home. This isn’t a stretch either. My daughter is an absolute terror of a 3 year old (my other 2 are boys from a previous marriage that I rarely see) and I just don’t what else I can do anymore. I don’t want another divorce. I lay in bed (a separate bed) crying as a 33M. I just don’t know what else to do…I’m a veteran, I should be more tough than this.

My wife (31) and I (32) have been married for almost 9 years, and had 2 children together (6/5). Before getting together, I had a daughter with someone else (12). My wife and I fought for 3 years for custody of my oldest. We actually won full custody. My wife loves my daughter and the feeling is mutual.
With all that being said, we told our oldest about the divorce and how the new place I’m moving to will be 5 minutes away, and the plan is for me to visit as often as possible. My daughter wants to stay with my wife, and my wife said that would be the only thing she would fight me on.
The biggest issue in our marriage has been my alcoholism. Even though I still want to keep working on myself (ive been sober 3 months her, 6 months there…. Etc.) I do feel my daughter will be the happiest and better of with my wife. Which is the reason I don’t want to fight her on that.
I guess the biggest part of why we both think this will be beneficial is, we were really ,”best friends” before we started dating. I actually have felt better connected to her again because there’s no added pressure.
She already helped me find a new place and bought me all the stuff I’d need.
So, financially, we’re both set, and in great agreement about what to do with bigger life purchases, trips, etc but I feel like we can come to an agreement if/when the time comes.
I guess I’m saying all this to ask what to do next? We talked about getting a mediator to actually put everything on paper, but, that’s it right? Or am I missing something?

Salam - the following are the Nikkah stipulations from the most successful marriages in my family (parents, maternal grandparents and my aunts/uncles) all married for over the past 40+ years:
• No polygamy during marriage • No abuse of any form • Set dowry payment plan and/or divorce payments • Pre-agreement on custody of any children in the event of divorce and related agreements • Wife given equal right to seek divorce (Talaq-E-Tafweez) • Written freedom for wife to come and go from home as she pleases • Intimacy requires consent of wife
Proud of to say I come from a family lineage that hasn’t settled for the ‘just trust me’ method long before it was as normalized as now, and has fostered the most in love and happy Muslim couples I have ever seen, Alhamdulillah. Contrary to many people’s opinions about what ‘would’ happen, this has never been weaponized against each other. It has truly shown me that those who are complaining are always on the outside with their insecurities.
I have stand up gentlemen in my family who advocate for women more than they do themselves, and fear Allah so much they ensure they don’t create any scenarios for injustice or oppression by their own hands, as we are all susceptible to it. Safeguarding and protecting women includes from yourself and what you both need. Because of this safety and security, I have been able to witness women able to be the most feminine and textbook versions love and butterflies with the utmost respect for the men in their lives, being treated as ‘alpha’ as ‘leaders’ without ever having to demand it. The confidence and respect amongst us the children of these couples speaks for itself.
So for anyone who needs a reminder from both ends, this works. We are not an anomaly! Also, we’re black muslims, for anyone who is still giving into stereotypes of dysfunctional Black love/relationships.
Allahuma Barik and may Allah grant the same for all of you that would like it.

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

Assalamu Alaykoum, I need rational advices and opinions on my situation, jazakallahu khairan.
My husband (23) and I (22) got married a year and a half ago. Actually, we don't live together yet, we only did our nikkah. 4 months ago, my husband decided to divorce me (he pronounced talaq 1 time). The reasons that led him to divorce are as follows: when we had arguments, I said bad words and insults (he also insulted me). Also, he started losing weight and was frustrated that his wife (me) wasn't losing weight.
Before my iddah period ended, he decided to take me back, after seeing that I was capable of making efforts to lose a lot of weight and because I have done phenomenal efforts to understand my responsibilities as a wife and not to say bad words to my husband, even when I am dissatisfied with certain things. He decided to reconcile me Islamically before talking to his parents, because my iddah period was ending soon. We decided to forgive each other and move forward with our future expectations in this marriage. However, since he told his parents, he has completely changed with me and can no longer give me the security of a husband, because his parents are asking him to choose between me and them. His parents told him that a woman who insults can hide deeper vices and that I could do much more serious and vicious things later (we must not forget that their son insulted me too, and even if I was the one who started more often, I did it because he was moving away from me and I wasn't his priority). I have a lot of regrets about my vulgar language and I repented and I would never do it again inshaAllah, but it was a fault that I had, like he had, and it breaks my heart that someone can believe that I am capable of doing vicious things, because of that.
In short, he is completely lost and he has hatred towards me because he is hurting his parents by taking me back and he is disappointing them. He wonders if Islamically speaking, it is haram to harm your parents and disobey them in this way? And he doesn't know if our marriage is worth it, because his parents gave him everything in life. So there is this possibility in his head to divorce again to avoid fracturing his relationship with his parents, but he doesn't know yet. You should also know that before the divorce, his parents loved me a lot and I never disrespected them and I always treated them like my own parents. We have been in this situation for 1 month and I have two questions to ask you:
1- How, as a man and as a woman, would you have handled this situation?
2- Islamically speaking, is it haram to harm your parents and disobey them in this way (by taking back a woman that they don't "trust" anymore)?
May Allah protect you and your marriages.

(Early 30s cis female, queer, single, liberal) I moved in with my mother at the end of last year after living in a large city for three years. Her house is in a suburb outside of a major midwest city. I had previously lived in the area (30 mins away from here) before moving, and relocated back to help at home and save some money. Was also looking to make a career transition, which I have. My mother is alone and we (typically) get along very well, so it felt like a great idea at the time. I lived in the same house/neighborhood for a short while in 2016, parents have been there since 2013. Since I have been back, I have been CONSTANTLY harassed by the neighbors. I’m talking calling me every s*xual slur in the book, telling me to go back to the city I just moved from (NO idea where they even got that info), and several other awful terms. Not just adults, but their children too. It got to a point where I had to call the police to file a report because two of the children chased my dog and me down the street with a large stick, yelling at us and (I think) calling me a witch. This happened three times before I finally had enough and called the cops. My dog is becoming increasingly more reactive after moving here even though we just lived in a city with thousands of people around. The parents seemed to enjoy it and did NOTHING to scold their children. If anything, they ramped up the behavior. I am in no way a s*x worker (I do not believe there is anything wrong with s*x work, I just personally never have), I have a bachelor's degree and have been working in the legal field for almost a decade. Sure, I’ve had my issues, but nothing that warrants this type of behavior from people I have never even spoken to. Especially when my family has been in this house for over a decade now and a lot of these people seem to be newer. The police have done nothing to help me but make me feel like I’m awful for “calling the cops on kids” Like I don’t know how to explain that this is more than that. It’s been going on since December. Just tonight, three grown adult men walked by my house calling me slurs once again. It seems they like to come around when they know my mother has left the home. What big strong men!!! I have countless videos at this point and am even worried I am being followed when I leave my home. They follow me when I walk my dog. It is so scary and I’m truly scared for myself and my mother's safety. The neighborhood is a melting pot of different religions and ethnicities, and you would think given it is 2024, this kind of behavior wouldn't be seen anymore. My mother is recently divorced. I think they see us as easy targets. Mother does not want to move. I am planning on leaving eventually. ANY advice would be helpful <3

I live in constant fear of what lives inside, and it knows it. Every night it teases me, like a harpy luring its victims to their doom, it calls to me, “Save me Kevin, I’m scared” in my wife's voice, knowing that she is my biggest weakness.
I know my wife is probably long dead, another appetizer for its brood when they wake, but what if I'm wrong? I survived. Only as a plaything for her amusement, but I survived. Maybe my wife is in there, lost in the labyrinth, waiting to be rescued.
Things change so fast, when we moved into this place, I thought my life was perfect, I had the perfect job and I was living with the woman, in the house of my dreams. But then that fucking hole came out of nowhere.
It started out as a little crack, then it grew bigger and bigger until finally it was this gaping black hole in the wall. We thought it was a cave entrance that had been blocked up and forgotten about, it was an old house.
Then things started disappearing, jewelry, cutlery, anything shiny really. The cat was the first victim, the poor thing got too close, and the pressure was just too much for it and it got sucked into the abyss. It is like a tornado when it starts, anything not nailed down gets dragged in.
I would have moved out there and then, but where would I have gone, I sunk every penny I had into that... shithole.
I still didn’t think it was anything supernatural though, I assumed it was caused by a change of air pressure, like a submarine opening its hatch. Then one of the contractors that I called out to block it up got dragged in, I tried to save him, almost had him too. But something grabbed hold of his legs, and he was gone.
I should have just walked away, but instead I went in after him, I had to, he was in pain and screaming for help. It wasn’t him, I found out that almost instantly when I found most of his face was still stuck to the wall. But it was too late for me, something grabbed me with bang and the next thing I knew, I’m running for my life through what I can only describe as living hell. And I mean living, the walls were red and pulsating, like they had a heartbeat, and the smell...
I never saw what was chasing me, just the odd shadow that I’m sure was only there to direct me back towards the entrance, so that I could lure its next victim. Which unfortunately was my wife.
I'm not entirely sure how I got out, but I know why.
That creature needs to feed, and as long as I believe my wife’s alive, it knows I will continue to feed it.

I just needed to vent. ’m still planning to go alone, as bittersweet as it might be. Hopefully the sadness of this situation has subsided by then.