I've never had surgery or even broken a bone so I'm taking every step of this recovery VERY slow and steady. My incision site never gave me any pain. It's irritating as hell as I can't stand anything touching my neck in daily life but I removed the bandage for the first time yesterday. No leakage, no pain, no crusty dried up blood. No signs of infection. Just a very dark incision line covered with what looks like 9-11 steristrips. Very clean.
I didn't have much trouble speaking day 1 or 2. 3-5 it got worse but wasn't bad. Swallowing is almost completely fine and I'm really looking forward to solid food again.
I'm still sleeping in my recliner using the soft collar. It's too much to lay on my back and I really don't feel comfortable on my side. It does hurt doing that. It feels like 30° angle is the happy space and I'm my head I'm scared about popping or screwing up healing by not keeping spine very straight. Am I too paranoid?
I'm up and walking to the bathroom without much hesitation as I'm not dizzy standing up anymore. I'm far from walking a lot. Still feeling tired out and sometimes just exhausted. But I'm putting in the effort of taking extra steps when going to the bathroom and back.
My arms are super weak still. Not as if I'm trying to lift anything but just raising them over my head is tedious. I reach over my head today to pull on my ear to clean them w qtips and I could feel my neck hurting pretty good as I'm putting pressure on top of my head pushing down slightly. Dr said "no bending lifting or leaning". Just the slight lean to spit out mouth wash I could feel slight pain in my neck.
Today I began doing some very small circles rolling my head around. Left to right till I feel the littlest resistance, same up and down.
Everyday feels slightly better. Throat is almost completely back to normal. Coughing was the worst pain out of everything I have done and even that has gone from a 8/9 on the pain scale (it REALLY hurt to cough) down to about a 3 in about 5 days. Today it hurts to cough but I don't hesitate anymore.
The c5-7 site is very tender to the touch. Wife still has to be very light on contact during shower. Shoulders are very stiff trying to wash other arm.
Overall, I'm still pretty tired and sometimes nearly exhausted and I don't do anything really. Watching tv. I did puke for 6 hours after the op as I had a tough time w the anesthesia (again, first time). I'm determined to make sure I heal properly and my "life situation" will allow me to take as long as I need to get back to 100% w no rush or pressure at all. I NEVER want to do this again so I feel I maybe a little behind schedule but I'm ok with it as long as it's good in the end. Then again, it's day 7 post op. How behind can I be?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions or comments. Hopefully my experience can help others with their situation as I was scared to death about this.

Number One: My Brother
There were plenty of times when I was growing up that my older brother would try to scare me. When I was really young, he was somewhat successful with it. But of course, when someone tries scaring you over and over again, you normally get used to it. Then it doesn’t scare you very much.
As we all got older, things changed quite a bit. He wasn’t getting the reactions from me that he previously had been, so he wasn’t scaring me as much. It was kind of a good feeling, you know, feeling that you have defeated your older brother when he was just trying to torment you. But also, I soon began forgetting that he was ever doing things like that to me.
When he was 17, he stopped hanging out at home very often. We assumed he was just out with his friends all the time. But he really had grown distant from everyone else in the family. He would rarely show up for meals. If he did, he would take his food and eat it away from everyone else.
My parents didn’t really think much of the change in my brother’s behavior. They insisted that teenagers all go through things like that. So I took them at their word and didn’t assume that they had anything to worry about.
I was home once after school and I was the only one there. My parents both worked a lot of hours and this was pretty common. My brother wasn’t home either so it was only me there. So, I set about trying to decide what I was going to have for dinner.
I remember this day for many reasons, but the first being that it was very windy outside. So I was hearing a lot of noises from outside. Also, the house was pretty old so it was making a lot of creaking noises.
What bugged me the most though was how sometimes our screen door in the kitchen would become unlatched on those windy days. When that happened, the win would cause the door to bang open and bang closed. And unless you went and put the hook lock onto it, it would keep doing this.
So, I went and made sure that the screen door was secured after hearing it bang several times in the wind. And then I went and I tried to finish making myself something to eat. Once I was done, I went into the living room and I tried to watch some television while I ate.
It wasn’t long until I heard what sounded like the door had gotten loose again. Since I used the hook lock, I wasn’t sure what it could have been. But if the door got torn of its hinges, it would have made things a lot worse. So I got up and went back in the kitchen, annoyed, to go and secure the door once again.
However, the door wasn’t open. My older brother was at the back door. And he was banging on the screen door for some reason. He was complaining about the door being locked and told me that I had to open it for him.
I asked him why he didn’t just come in through the front door like everyone did. The question seemed to just make him angry, however. He began pounding on the door harder and telling me to just open the damn door.
I went over to open the door, but the look on his face got me to stop. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was just something in his eyes that I didn’t recognize. I am not sure how else to put it, but it didn’t seem like I was looking at my brother. There was some vacant, other person behind those eyes.
My pause made my brother pound on the door harder and I could tell that he was really pissed off. I thought he was trying to scare me for only a second because I wasn’t sure what to think about what was going on. He began then pulling the screen out of the screen door in order to get to the lock I couldn’t imagine he would ever be stupid enough to deliberately destroy part of the house; my parents would have killed him.
He started yelling at me, threatening all sorts of things to do to me once he got into the house. I was about to run off, but I didn’t because part of me still thought he was just trying to scare me, albeit that part was really small.
When he got through the door, though, he didn’t stop anything. He went right over to a knife block and that was when I turned and ran. I went quickly up to my stairs and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.
We lived in an old house with some good, solid doors. There was no way my brother was going to break through them. However, he did pound on the door and yell and scream at me for a while, demanding that I open the door. However, a while later, he gave up and everything went quiet.
I didn’t come out of my room until my parents got home. They had found my brother, sitting in the bathtub upstairs, shivering; the kitchen knife beside him. He claimed to not really know what was going on and my parents were confused. I relayed the whole story to them and he seemed to sincerely have no memory of what happened.
So, it seemed my brother had a psychotic break down or a fugue state or something like that. I believe the last one is what the doctor said. But to this day, he denies that he ever faked what happened as a practical joke. He had admitted to every joke beforehand so I have no reason not to believe him. I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten to my room.

Number Two: Bullies
I moved around a whole lot when I was growing up. I have lived in the city, in the country and the suburbs. I moved so much that I really didn’t get to know a lot of kids my age very well while I was growing up. And after having this be the case for a long period of time, I stopped trying to make friends when I reached a certain age. It didn’t seem worth it if my family would just pack up and move a few months after I had made a friend.
There was a period of time where we moved out to this house out in the country. It was a poorer area, I guess, where the only houses you came across were mobile homes. I never tried to make any friends with the kids who might have lived there, though. I also didn’t really make friends at school.
I don’t know what it was about this area, but for some reason it was the only time in my life where I was bullied. I think it might have been because I kept to myself and did well in school, instead of playing football during recess. But whatever it was, the bullies were real jackasses and caused me a lot of Hell for the year when we were there. Weekends and school vacations were my favorite times because it was the only times I could get away from the bullies at school and the teachers never did anything to make the bullying stop either.
This happened during a weekend in the fall. I remember because I was out wearing a jacket and taking a walk. I tried to go out for walks whenever I could on days home, because it felt good to get out of the house for a while. So, I was heading down a gravel road, just strolling along and lost in my own thoughts.
It was after a while, I heard some sounds coming off ahead of me and to the side of the road. I was curious to see what was going on, so I walked up to the area and noticed that there was a fenced off field in that area. It sounded like there were some people off doing something and I began to wonder why. However, I wasn’t curious enough to try and find out.
It was pretty suddenly though that someone approached me on the side of the road. I was surprised to have seen it, because I hadn’t noticed anyone else out there. Plus, I was really afraid to see it was a kid name John, who was one of the bullies who bugged me at school.
John made some comments at me but none of them were mean. In fact, he had heard the noises out in the field too and was wondering what they were. John asked me if I was curious and wanted to go see what was going on.
I wasn’t sure how to feel. I mean, part of me thought that this bully might have been warming up to me. But another part of me definitely didn’t want to go with him walking in a field.
In the end, I decided to go with him because I was mostly afraid that he might beat me up if I didn’t go with him.
After walking for a while, we finally noticed a few other guys up in front of us. It didn’t take long for me to recognize them also for school. I was a bit scared when I noticed that they were guys who normally hung out with John and tormented me. That probably meant that he had known they were out there all along and was meeting up with them.
I wanted to turn around and go back to the road, but I couldn’t force myself to do it. Besides, if those four kids wanted to catch me, they easily could and beat the crap out of me. I didn’t want that so I just decided to try to not seem scared. Perhaps they would respect me that way and let me take part in what they were doing.
But as we got closer to them, I realized that they had rifles and were shooting at things. At first I assumed they were pellet guns, but they were actually rifles. And I found myself even more wanted to get away as quickly as I could.
John asked me if I wanted to fire one of the rifles. I definitely did not and told him that was okay. I didn’t want to take any of their fun away from them. So, I would just watch them if that was all right.
“Oh I have a better idea,” John laughed with his friends. “How about we use you for the target? Now that would be really fun.”
Of course those words scared the hell out of me. These were bullies that I knew were not scared to get physical with someone. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were willing to shoot me either.
There were only two rifles amongst the four boys and they both pointed them at me. I tried to tell myself that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and shoot me. If they did, they would get into a lot of trouble. But I had no idea whether that was true or not.
“Well that’s not what I thought would be fun,” John told his friends. “I mean we could just shoot at anything you know. We could shoot at trees, bushes, rocks. But what would be really fun would be a moving target.”
All the boys laughed and I just got even more scared. Now, I didn’t want to run because that would give the boys what they wanted. But I didn’t want to stand there either. I am probably pretty lucky that I didn’t wet myself at some point.”
“Well run,” John urged me. “It would be a lot harder to shoot you if you’re running that if you’re just standing there like a dumbass.”
I still didn’t move. I was too terrified to do anything.
“Run!” John yelled and he sort of lunged at me.
That was enough to scare me enough to get me running. So, I took off and began running. I began telling myself again that they were just trying to scare me. But no sooner did I think that then I heard a gunshot.
I was so startled by the gunshot that I tripped and fell on the ground. I hadn’t been hit by anything, but that didn’t mean that they hadn’t been trying to hit me. So, I got back and began running again. It wasn’t too long before I heard another gunshot. It was followed by another and another and each time, I kept expecting the gunshot to hit me. I couldn’t even be relieved when they didn’t hit me because I was too terrified.
I made it to the fence and I jumped back over it. Getting on the gravel road, I kept running and I didn’t stop running until I got home. I was out of breath and in pain, but I hadn’t been shot and I was glad about that.
Here is the part that might get you though. I didn’t tell anyone about what happened right away. I was too scared about what the bullies might do to me if I got them in trouble. So I kept it to myself and didn’t tell anyone until years after we moved away from there.
I really don’t know how much trouble they would have gotten into anyway. They would have just denied it and I have found the parents of bullies rarely discipline their children for bullying.

Number Three: The Tunnel
I can’t say that I was bullied much when I was growing up. Rather than being unpopular, I was just the sort of kid that everyone ignored. If people talked about me or had any strange impressions of me, I definitely never knew about it. I spent a lot of time by myself.
However, I wasn’t one of those people who liked spending a lot of time by themselves. I would often try to insert myself into a conversation or to join up on a ball game if extra players were needed. I wanted to get along with people and to have those interactions, but it was normally always a bust. I just had a problem making friends. But that didn’t keep me from trying to.
So one day I was walking home from school. I had a pretty long walk as I lived out of town but still close enough that the district did not provide a bus for me. I didn’t mind the walk, though, as I had been doing it all of my life and it gave me time to think.
When I was walking by a field, I noticed a bunch of kids from high school that I knew walking off in the field. So, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided I would follow them to see what they were doing. This might seem strange to you and it certainly does to me now, but recall that this was something that I did very often.
The kids all had a pretty big start on me so it would take me a while to catch up with them. However, when I did eventually catch with them, they were hanging out and smoking pot. They noticed me and actually invited me over. They didn’t seem worried that I would narc on them or anything and even offered me to smoke with them. I had never done that before but I wanted them to like me so I did. Of course as many first time pot smokers out there will tell you, the first time can be the roughest. Much to the amusement of the other guys, I was coughing my lungs out for quite a while afterward.
After hanging out for a little while-and I hadn’t done much talking really, just listening- one of the guys told us that he had an idea. There was an old tunnel under an old road that had been closed down for years and they thought it would be cool to check it out.
I was all for it and I walked with the guys for a while until we came to this tunnel. It wasn’t long and I am sure you have seen this sort of things before. I could definitely see to the other side of it. Still, it had a sort of creepy vibe to it. You couldn’t see the dirt road that ran over the tunnel anymore because it had completely grown over. Plus there were tons of trees and bushes grown up over everything.
One of the boys noticed something. It looked like, on the far end, that there was a human body laying in the tunnel. After he pointed it out, I noticed it too. However, I didn’t get a bit curious about it like the other guys did. It freaked me out and I wanted to just get away from it, but there was no way that I could tell them that.
The guys then began daring me to go and check it out. This scared me, of course, because I really didn’t want to do it. But I also wanted them to like me so after they prodded me for a little while, I decided to go ahead and do it.
The tunnel seemed kind of dank, but it wasn’t wet or anything. It was just unpleasant walking in it, especially knowing that I might be approaching a dead body. I walked as slowly as I could, trying to draw this out as long as possible. Seems silly in retrospect, I know. Most people would want to get it over with as quickly as possible.
As I got closer to the figure in the tunnel, I could see him a lot better. It didn’t look like he was breathing either. This scared me but I also kept thinking about how cool the guys would think I was if I had approached a dead body. So I kept creeping closer.
Right when I had gotten next to the body, I heard this loud clanging, echoing noise ring out across the tunnel. I turned behind to look and see what it was but my attention was drawn back to the body when it tried to grab me.
I stumbled backwards and fell over. I watched the body get up to my horror. I could hear the guys laughing but I wasn’t concentrated on that. I was concentrated on the scary figure in front of me that was suddenly yelling at me and coming toward me.
I got up and began running out of the tunnel. I couldn’t even tell you what the figure was yelling at me as I ran out. I just knew that he sounded very angry and I was terrified.
The guys were running back to the area that they had originally been in and I followed them. I checked behind me at one point and did not see the figure from tunnel following me. However, the guys were all laughing their asses off.
They explained to me that the guy in the tunnel was a homeless guy who had been living in that tunnel for who knows how long. He always hates it when people come along and go into the tunnel. So, that clanging sound I heard was one of the guys throwing a rock into the wall of the tunnel to wake the guy up and scare the hell out of me.
The guys were all laughing but I didn’t find it very funny. However, I began to laugh too because I wanted them to like me. So they seemed to accept me and I was invited to keep smoking with them and hanging out.
So, I had finally made some friends, some who I continued to know until long after high school was over. And all it took was for them to scare me so bad I nearly shit my pants.

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

Hey there! I'm glad you could make it. We've been looking for someone to watch our house while we're out on Vacation for a while now, and you were Available! We've been having these strange encounters where our stuff gets misplaced occasionally..It happens everywhere in our house. I'll write a list of instructions on how you can Surviv- err..Protect our house.
My Room
(1) My room should be the first door to the LEFT upon entering the hallway. In the inside, There should be a light brown desk on the left side of the wall, a Black desk with a white computer on the wall behind you, A black bed on the wall to the right of you, and a TV hoisted on the wall to the left of you. It should be turned off. If anything, and I mean ANYTHING looks off (e.g Extra furniture, different colored furniture, misplaced objects, etc.), close the door and open it until it looks EXACTLY like it was described.
(1a) I WOULD describe the objects in my room, but that'll take too much time. I'll leave it as a separate note for later.
(2) I highly recommend sleeping in my room, because those creatures are the most tame there. But, whatever you do, DON'T look under my bed. He doesn't like it when people look at him...except me, I'm cool with that guy. My blinds have a large hole in it, so I suggest you put something over it, like a pillow, so that creepy person outside doesn't start peeping at you. There's also these people in the screens, and they come out at random. All I got to say is, just turn off the computer or the TV if it starts showing static.
That's all for my room at the moment, now we're going to my Brothers' room.
(3) Their rooms are at the END of the hallway. Inside, there are two beds opposite from each other, ONE TV hoisted up at the wall in front of you, an Xbox series S on the floor in front of you, a business chair in front of you, and a clothes basket behind you. And if anything looks off, refer to the last sentence in Rule 1.
(4) The Xbox HAS to be turned off, because they hate bright lights. Failure to do so, and I hope you could live without your eyes. :D
Secondary Family
There should be 7 people in the house with you, they are considered the "Secondary Family" when we're gone. They're actually pretty chill if you don't mess with them. I'll describe them.
Secondary Mother
(5) The Secondary Mother Isn't fond of strangers, and she usually resides in the Den (the room to your right when you enter the house.) She's the most aggressive out of the 7. When she's NOT in the Den, however, she might either be with the Secondary Father, or she might be following you. She'll appear in the bathroom, or might be searching our rooms for something. Just don't acknowledge her existence, and you'll be A-okay!
(6) She might call you to do something for her. That's the only time she'll not attack you. When she does, go ahead and fufill that request, no matter how simple it may be. She doesn't like it when you slack off.
(7) The Secondary Mother is a clean freak, and she likes things spotless. All you have to to is clean up after yourself, Clean up our rooms, and that'll be all for the Secondary Mother!
Secondary Father
The Secondary Father is the most chillest person you'll ever know! He's the most understanding out of the Family, so there isn't a lot of requirements to not get killed by him, but I'll list the most crucial ones.
(8) He'll sometimes be coughing VERY badly. No matter how painful it sounds, DON'T check on him. Because half the time, it's only a trap. And he'll take you to SM so she could kill you.
(9) He'll also be in the Den with SM. there should be curtains obscuring the view from the Living Room and the Den. If they're closed, just..don't go in there. Even I don't know what wacky shenanigans they got going on in there..
(10) He knows the secrets of this house, a Lot of secrets. If you feel uneasy, or you think something's off, Call SF, and he'll take care of it.
(11) The house may warp in on itself from time to time, shifting the appearance of the interior. Strangest thing I saw was that the hallway was made out of flesh. Living breathing flesh. So basically, when the Interior looks off, call SF, and he'll fix it. It can be the most miniscule thing as the rooms were swapped around, Or there would be extra doors leading to nowhere.
(This is all I have right now, and I might continue this on a different post. This is also my first Ruleshorror post, and criticism is appreciated!)

I’m addicted to weed.
I’m addicted. I know it. It scares me but at the same time not really. I have a 4.0 gpa, I play 2 sports, I have friends, I have hobbies, in short I feel like a normal person. I don’t think about smoking all day everyday, maybe I’ll get bored and class and imagine myself stoned but meh. I don’t have to smoke, no withdrawals or anything. I’ve only been smoking since January so that’s the concerning part. I started off slow as like a weekend thing. I had a strict rule that I wouldn’t smoke on weekdays but that’s gone out the window. Used to be no smoking on test days but that also been slipping. It was only after April break that I started to smoke pretty much everyday. Unfortunately it’s too accessible for me. I have a plug who’s a good friend of mine and I always end up with an 1/8 or 1/4 and a cart. My memory is pretty shot. I’m not a super heavy weight either luckily I typically stop myself after one joint OR (not both… usually) a couple blinkers. I could go without, but I get this feeling like I really want to. I also developed a never ending cough and sometimes headaches. But again, it doesn’t prohibit me. I live a normal successful life for a high schooler. Though the aggression has been getting to me… I also find myself really not looking to take a T break (I’ve never actually taken one before). Really what I’m looking for here is to know: Am I cooked? Am I addicted? Is it really that bad? Is what I’m doing bad? Do I need to quit entirely? Do I need help?

I have been scared I have breast cancer for the past years and I'm only 14. Sometimes I feel a sharp pai. There and it scares me it sometimes feels uncomfy.
I have anxiety around cancer right now saying "what if I have it" stuff like that like I look at my symptoms. I had chest pain but not anymore, unfomy around chest area, stuffy nose, coughing, back pain and sometimes, pain around my upper stomach, and I feel like I feel a lump in like my upper chest area kind off but it feels like a bone
What if this isint anxiety? Have ya went through this?

Is it normal for a cat to cry or howl a little before coughing up a furball ? Is it even a furball ? And how often should a cat cough up a fur ball?
I know this sounds kind of weird but my cat is seven years old and she’s only recently started to cough up hairballs , and it’s not that often but she’s done that in the past , and she is a gray tabby with short to medium length hair I guess she’s definitely not extra fluffy like a Persian cat or something . but now in May of 2024 I noticed that she has done this 4-5 times like basically once a week. I took pictures for the sake of showing my vet, and just to see if there’s any consistency. I noticed that she makes a certain mail or cry, and then she’ll go and do her thing. But she acts perfectly fine afterwards. So is this normal? I have changed her brand of foods just to see if it ended up being something wrong with the canned food that she was eating and she also it’s dry meow mix as well. I try to only give her dry food at night. I occasionally put a little water in her wet food so this way it could get more soupy and she could stay more hydrated. I spoke to Levent and she said that one of her cats actually coughs up a furball every day and it’s normal. Also, my cat has a tendency to like eating tissues and paper towels BUT I DO STOP HER but sometimes I’ll get up in the middle of the night and see that she’s eating a little bit of a tissue Kleenex but I don’t allow her to do this.
She seems to be pooping and peeing on a regular basis
Her appetite hasn’t changed She still has a good appetite and still drinks water
She hasn’t lost any weight
She doesn’t seem to be aggressive from any pain
She doesn’t hide because she’s in pain
She doesn’t mind being held or touched
She is not lethargic, or moody or withdrawn. She’s acting the same / normal
She’s a normal weight 8-9 pounds and it hasn’t fluctuated

I’m always nervous to start a new visual novel because I don’t know what I’m getting into. However I notice it seems to be horror-like and I love horror, gore, overall disturbing and shocking things. I have a strong sense of morbid curiosity, what can I say? I’m especially hesitant about getting it off steam though because Steam seems to really cut and censor things sometimes. (Cough cough Nie no Hakoniwa)

I noticed a couple weeks ago & thought it would go away but it never did. I took a few months off from work due to personal reasons & I was laying down a lot. Now when I get up from laying down, I can’t stand up right away or else my back is tight, so I end up having to sit for a moment. Also hurts when I cough sometimes. Just wondering if it’s likely a nerve/muscle type of pain? Or is it something I can get “popped” at a chiro?

27 female - 5'3 - 175lbs - not a smoker. I got sick over a week ago with presumably covid. Fever, body aches, skin sensitivity, chest pains, laryngitis(still is going on, my larynx is tender to the touch). And a horrible cough that started out dry but has become very productive with copious amounts of thick, green and yellow sputum. Sometimes with streaks of blood if I've been coughing hard enough.
Yesterday I coughed up a couple mouthfuls of a watery substance, no idea what it was. It looked kind of "dirty" for lack of better explanation. The cough is a bit better during the day, nights have been a complete nightmare. I've been laying elevated on a mountain of pillows but it isn't really doing anything at all. Once I settle into bed the coughing starts in and will not stop, I'm usually gasping in between fits. I usually don't fall asleep until daylight and it's only in 1-2 hour stints before I wake up coughing.
As of today I feel like my breathing may be slightly more shallow but I'm honestly not sure if I'm just psyching myself out. I also feel generally more sick again. I'm seeing a ton of conflicting information about how I should treat my symptoms, some say hospital and some say it's normal for covid and to wait it out. I've been doing everything I've been reading, taking cough suppressants/anti-inflammatories, drinking a lot of hot teas, baths/showers, deep breathing.
I don't have health insurance so I've been trying to avoid visiting the hospital, but if I do have pneumonia then I'd rather have it treated then it get worse.
Edit: New fun symptom, I have some weird body/hand tremors going on right now, along with a strange "floaty" feeling when I'm up out of bed. I don't feel cold, no fever. If anything my body temperature is a little low, around 96F compared to my normal 96.8(still on the low end I know)

Not finished yet but nearly done just need to know if it's decent.
Spider-Man VS The Punisher
A man walking his footsteps sounds like mini explosions as a row of computers with people typing on them. The man stops upon a window looking down to a glass cage with yellow electricity emerging from it.
“He's here, he's taking us all out. We need back up. Noooo.” The man looks at one of the scientists saying “wait for him to get here.” The man cleans up his suit and tightens his tie.
“Ohhh you're getting dressed up just for me. I shoulda brought flowers.” The man looks up where he sees a man in a red and blue webbed suit. “I should have killed you years ago. Well after today you will be.” “We both know that's not going to happen Willy. I'll arrest you and you'll escape, Rinse and repeat, it's always been like that.” The man grinds his teeth and grips his hands. “Unleash him.” the scientist looks at him and then at the computer pressing a button.
“Unleash him Fisk are you cheating on me with another hero.” as he says this a bolt of lightning strikes through the glass levitating in front of him. “You must be Spiderman. I'm electro, the man that's been tasked to kill you.” Spider-Man whispers to himself. “This guy's making my spider sense go crazy. I don't think this will go well.” he coughs then says. “Shouldn't you be at the circus.” Electro looks at Fisk and says “Leave Mister Fisk now.” Fisk and the scientists walk out into an elevator. “Don't disappoint me Max.” The elevator goes up with Spider-Man and Electro looking at each other “So electricity man are we gonna start.” He looks down to his hands where they start to glow brighter with electricity shooting out. BANG electricity shoots out his hand Spider-Man just dodging it. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG Spider-Man narrowly dodges the bolts. He creates a continuous line of lightning towards Spider-Man. Cracking Peter tries to dodge it but fails on the ground Peter feels his muscles shut down. Electro walks over to him, shocking him again. “Ahhhhhhh.” He stops Spider-Man trying to crawl away BANG “AHHHHHH.” An alarm goes off as sprinklers also go off hitting Electro causing him to grunt.
Spider-Man using this crawls up a wall into a vent leaving the building Spider-Man takes off his mask feeling the rain hit his face. He hears Fisk talking to Electro below. “Is the job done.” “No, he escaped. The sprinklers set off burning my skin.” “You let him escape. I gave you one job and failed me." Electro looks at him sternly saying “Mister Fisk you gave me these powers and you want me to kill Peter I will. You know where he lives, I can go over there and kill him and his family.” “You will do no such thing. He will not try to kill us if we just go after him he won't understand.” Electro nods and walks away with an umbrella.
Spider-Man looks at his web shooters. “Great, they're gonna have to get the train. May's gonna kill me when I get back.”
Brooklyn, New York, 21:32
“PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DO IT. I HAVE A FAMILY LOOK. PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING. WHAT DO YOU WANT MONEY, POWER.” A man shouts breaking down in fear of whoever is trying to kill him. “I want to know why you do it. Why commit crime when there's hundreds of heroes. I think I know why though. They won't kill, they won't just take the godam leap and end you scumbags. So I chose to do it myself.” The man says in a deep voice wrapping a cord around his neck. He picks him up, showing him a fifteen floor drop. “No, no, please don't do this.” He starts to cry as looks at him blankly, throwing off the building with him screaming for about three seconds till the man hears a snap. “Good Riddens.”
Queen's, New York, 9:29 pm
Walking into a house a teenager walks in “Peter where have y- My god what happened to you?” Peter looks at his aunt and says “Some people tried to rob me, it's alright May.” “Did they take anything? Did you call the police.?” “No and no May I'm fine May.” He looks at May. “I'll call the police.” “DON'T. I never saw what they really looked like, you'll just waste their time.” She looks at him saying “From now on you'll be back before it gets dark.” Peter nods “Now Peter time for your cake Happy Eighteenth Peter.” Peter looks at a cake with candles on it. He blows them out “Thanks May I'm just gonna go to my room I've had a ruff day.” May looks at him. “Are you sure you don't want some cake I've made? It's your favourite.” “I'll have some tomorrow really.” Peter walks up to his room turning on the TV playing the daily bugle. “Today Spider-Man failed to capture this so-called Lizard. I think he's just too lazy to put in any work. When the police lose a suspect their back on the streets trying to find him but Spider-Man swip swap swoops his way down and destroys peoples properties.” Peter looks at it in a rage “People would have died if i wasn't there yet I don't get thanked but hated. Why do I do this?” He looks at the picture next to his bed of him and uncle Ben. The time when he didn't worry if Aunt May would see him tomorrow. If she'll be targeted by villains. “Ben would call me stupid for doing something like this. Even more stupid I was responsible for his death. I couldn't just tell him where I was, I just had to storm out. He goes looking for me and ends up getting shot. I'm sorry Ben.”
Manhattan, New York, 06:34
“What will it be?” “Coffee, milk and two sugars.” She turns around and the man looks at his watch as he checks the time. “06:36 still have seven.” “It's ready. Have an amazing day.” he hands her a ten and leaves. He walks to an old burned building. Walking in he goes up five floors and goes towards a sniper pointing out a window. He takes a sip of his coffee checking his watch. “06:42 one minute.” A minute later a limousine drives up to a small building. A man dressed in a white and gold suit walks. “Gotcha.” BANG, a single bullet from the sniper shoots the man in the head obliterating the back of his head. He walks away with screams of people running and people shouting. “It's him, Punisher, he's here.” Pointing their pistols in the air looking where the shot came from.
Queen's, New York, 7:45 am
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BE-. Bang Peter hits his alarm destroying it. “Uhh, great way to start the day.” Peter goes to the bathroom brushing his teeth. He leaves the bathroom getting changed into his new clothes then goes to check on his web shooters. “Thank god for the science lab.” Checking his costume he sees it burnt and destroyed. He messages MJ to ask her to bring his spare costume she's working on. He gets his bag and web shooters going downstairs. “Hey Aunt May I'm off to school.” “Not so fast, I've got some cake for you to take.” Petter goes up to May and takes it. “Thanks May love ya bye.” Peter walks out to the school bus.
On the bus he sits next to his girlfriend Mary Jane. “My god Pete what happened to you. Also you suits in my bag.” Peter looks at her saying “New villain in town calls himself Electro.” “You've got to stop doing this Peter really you're going to kill yourself. How many villains do you have?” Peter looks down and says “Well Theirs the lizard, Shocker, Electro, Fisk, Otto Octavius and sin eater. Don't forget about the small time.” She looks at him saying “God why do I put up with you.” “Because I'm irresistible.” She smirks.
A couple hours later Peter only had two lessons left. Peter in the back of his English class looked at his web shooters making sure they still aren't broken and that he fixed them during science. Peter looks at his phone where he sees a notification from the daily bugle saying that sandman is robbing a bank. “Can I go to the bathroom?” Peter shouts. “Sure Mister Parker uh just take the pass.” Peter takes it and leaves. He goes to the janitor's closet putting on his Spidey suit and web shooters jumping out of the window. He looks at his phone while swinging. “Sometimes I wish I had a GPS in my suit instead of needing to use Oscorpe maps.” He swings wondering why sandman is robbing a bank. “He's stupid but not this stupid to rob a bank, especially during the day.” He swings across Queensboro into Manhattan.
When he arrives the swat team surrounds the area with Captain Stacey on standby. Spider-Man drops down in front of him. “Hey.” Looking up Captain Stacey talks to Spider-Man. “Spider-Man good thing you're here we need your help. Sandman has taken over the bank and he has three hostages.” Spider-Man looks at him saying. “Guess you can say things are getting out of sand.” “Sure just when you go in don't destroy much will you.” “I won't captain you know me, just get your officer's to sand back.” Spider-Man does finger guns at Captain Stacey swinging in. “Everyone shut up. I'm gonna pay it off with this score.” Spider-Man slowly swings down “It's ironic that you're named Flint. You know because flint and steel create fire and fire turns you into glass.” “WHAT.” Spider-Man sighs as he launches a kick towards him. He kicks him with Spider-Man going straight through him as this happens he webs his feet and pulls causing him to fall. He goes to punch sandman but punches him through the glass into a police car. CRASH, the police start firing at him but they do nothing. “SPIDER-MAN GET UP.” Captain Stacey shouts at spider-man. Spider-man jumps in slingshotting himself into sandman. He goes straight through him knocking sandman back as well. “Stop this Flint, think of all the good you've done.” He jumps onto the wall looking at a fire hydrant. “Like you've no that won't cut it. Ok you haven't done anything good but that doesn't mean I have to kick your ass again.” Sandman gets up. “You think you can kick my ass again. Not happening.” Spider-Man sighs. “Ok.” Spider-Man jumps down and grabs the fire hydrant and pulls. CRACK, the fire hydrant breaks splashing water all over sandman. “I told you Flint, I always win.” Flint starts to turn into a pile of wet sand. Spider-Man webs the hydrant to stop the water then walks over to Flint. Barely able to keep your normal form. “Screw you.” Spider-Man looks over at the captain. “He's all your captain enjoy.” Spider-Man jumps onto the side of a swat van. “Where do you go when you finish?” “School, besides I'm only missing one class.” Peter says this jumping and swinging away. “About ten minutes getting there. HEY I'M SWINGING HERE. Five minutes there and ten back is enough to miss english.”
Last lesson goes pretty boring for Peter. He's thinking about the lizard and how he escaped yesterday.
Bronx, New York, 15:45
“Nah he'll be here soon. The boss says after today's shipment the police are going to leave the Bronx alone.” An unknown man, clearly a gangster in a suit, is talking to another man in a suit. “Yeah, isn't he worried, though I mean what happened yesterday? You know Freddy.” One of them says “Nah, his new guy almost killed Spider-Man yesterday. He was talking about how he was crawling to escape only got away because of the sprinklers.”
BANG, BANG, The Punisher walks into a restaurant with seven men in suits in it. “HEY WHO LET THIS GUY IN.” The Punisher grabs his M4 and start to spray into a crowd killing three of them. Two of them pull out micro uzi's shooting at him. The Punisher grabs a grenade and throws it at the bar. BANG, The grenade goes and kills the two of them. The other two put their hands up and surrendered. Frank drops his AR. BANG, BANG, He shoots them with his pistol. He walks upstairs where five line a wall of AK's. The Punisher pulls out a stun grenade throwing it at them. BANG, they all drop their guns blind and staggering The Punisher walks in picking up one of their guns firing on them all. He walks to a door with the dead piled up next to it. He kicks it open to see a man in a suit. “I wondered how long it would take for you to find me, Frank. Now I have some you want and in return you'll let me go, unde-.” BANG, “No deal.” Frank starts to pack a duffel bag with money. Once he's done he lights the office on fire and leaves.
He walks to a van getting into the driver's seat. He drives for about thirty minutes to a small house. Walking in he puts the money in the pantree where about fifteen of the same bags are. He puts on the TV playing the news and works on making bullets. “Spider-Man today was responsible for the destruction of one bank. One I go to, when i wanted to go there today I realised I COULDN'T BECAUSE SPIDER-MAN HELPED SANDMAN DESTROY IT AND WHEN THE COPS SHOWED UP HE THREW HIM UNDER AND PRETENDED TO BE THE HERO. Now why do I have to pay for it? Why doesn't he? We know who Captain America is and he destroys a bank because he's civilised and not a maniac.” Frank looks at the TV turning it off and continues working.
Manhattan, New York, 4:21
“PARKER, PARKER, these photos are blurry I'll give you fifty.” Peter looks at him “Mister Jamerson I need a hundred and twenty.” “I need better pictures.” A man walks in “We need pictures Jonah.” He looks at Peter. “Ok one twenty.” He sighs a check giving it to Peter.
Peter leaves and goes to the woman working at the desk in front. “Hey Betty.” Peter gives Betty the check to Betty who gives him the money. “Thanks.” Peter leaves the daily bugle checking phone. He sees that he's missed a call from Captain Stacey. He calls him. “ you at the station up town.” “Ok but which one?” He runs into the alley next to the bugle changing into his costume swinging away. “So which one.” “You won't miss it kid really.” The call ends. “Ok, quite weird but he didn't even say why he needed me.” It takes him about thirty seconds to realise what he's about. In the distance he sees a giant ball of electricity. “Oh no.”
“Where is it?” CRACK, BANG, Electro kills three police officers. Captain Stacey tells all the police officer's to get into the building. “YOU CAN'T HIDE.” Spider-Man swings down checking the pulse of one of the dead police officers. “no. SURRENDER NOW.” Electro flies in front of him. “Or what. At least I'll get to kill you now. Peter.” Peter feels nervous looking around and Captain Stacey shouts for him to get in. “STAY INSIDE CAPTAIN.” The captain goes to one of his men. “Is it ready?” “yeah” Electro shoots electricity at spider-man. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG. Spider-Man webs a man hole throwing it at him. Electro catches it, Spider-Man using this moment slingshots himself punching Electro multiple times. “I'M DONE PLAYING. YOU KILLED COPS I'M NOT GOING EASY.” Electro smirks at Peter creating an emp knocking Peter down. Electro drops to the ground, shocking him. “AHHHHHHH. BANG, AHHHHHHHH. BANG, AHHHHHHHH.” Electro walks up to Spider-Man who is crawling away. “Poor little Peter Parker. Once I'm done with you I'll deal with the ones you love. Rest in piece Peter Parker.” Electro charges his hands then. BANG.
Manhattan, New York, 16:23
Punisher loads his sniper talking to himself. “Really, they would kill me immediately. At least I'll kill this freak.” He toggles with the scope. “SURRENDER NOW.” “He won't do that kid” he waits for a clear shot. “YOU KILLED COPS I'M NOT GOING EASY.” he waits for his moment. Bang “AHHHHHHH.” Electros hands start to charge he lifts them. “bang.” BANG. A single bullet goes through the chest of Electro. Frank picks up his sniper and walks downstairs.
Walking down he sees Electro holding his chest on the ground and Spider-Man next to him barely alive. The Punisher walks up to Electro with a knife. “No please d-dont do this.” He gets close to Electro as tries to crawl away. The Punisher grabs him and turns him around. Fear in Electros eye's “Once I'm done with you I'll deal with your loved one's.” “No please.” The Punisher stabs him in the throat, killing him. “You know kid stay away from fisk for the next couple of days you understand. Deal with that giant lizard terrorising the city. Got me Parker.” Peter just looks as he starts to lose consciousness. “Good.” Gorge Stacey and his men leave the building telling The Punisher to surrender. He walks away as no one dares goes to arrest him. Gorge gets his men to help Peter.
Manhattan, New York, 7:32 pm
“You've got to take it easy kid. The doctors said you could have died.” Peter listens to Captain Stacey saying. “I know but with this guy out there, bloods gonna spill in the streets.” The Captain sighs. “So what are you going to do.” Peter coughs “I'm going to try and find the lizard first.” “Stay safe kid.” Peter jumps of the empire state building swinging through the city calling MJ to tell May he's staying at hers tonight.
Thirty minutes Later Peter hears on the police radio that a giant lizard is destroying Oscorpe. Swinging over he feels the stitches in him starting to rip.
When he arrives he sees a fire and a chunk of the side of the building gone. He swings in where fire and dead security guards are. “W-who is he?.” He hears a continuous clicking sound. “There aren't any alien space hunters down there, ha ha.” He laughs nervously. Suddenly a human sized lizard runs towards him trying to eat him. He dodges jumping on a wall “Hey I'm from the zoo, they said a lizard needed to be put down. That doesn't make sense. I don't kill. Hey no bitey.” He sees on the lab coat he's wearing it says Dr Connors. Still dodging “Connor's wait Curt Connors how did you. AHHH.” The Lizard scratches Spider-Man across the chest leaving a claw mark. Spider-Man looks up and sees him jumping to bite him. Spider-Man cartwheels backwards into a jump webbing his head and face planting him. “If you chill out I'll give you a box of insects to eat.” The Lizard gets up. “AHHHHHHHH.” Spider-Man looks at him. “Uh I don't know what to say to that. Raw maybe." As Spider-Man gets ready to attack, the Lizard's left arm starts to turn grey. It looks at it and runs away. Spider-Man swings after him through the streets of Manhattan “YOU MIGHT UGLY BUT I'M FINE WITH IT YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUN.” As he swings the lizard throws a hotdog stand at him. He webs it to a wall and keeps swinging. “SERIOUSLY A HOTDOG STAND IF YOU DON'T STOP I'LL TURN YOU INTO A LIZARD DOG. WELL I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.” The lizard goes into an alley into a sewer. Spider-Man follows him slingshotting himself in shouting. “YEAAAAH.”
Inside of the sewers Peter looks around and sees only one way forwards. He crawls ol the walls seeIng the destruction Connor's did. “UH MISTER CONNOR'S, CURT, LIZARD, ANYONE. AM I JUST TALKING TO MYSELF, YES, why did I shout that.” He keeps crawling till he hears shouting. “PLEASE I DIDN'T HAVE CONTROL PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.”
Manhattan, Sewers, New York, 19:28
“Where is this freak? This vermin to society.” The Punisher walks through the sewers trying to find the rat killing innocent people. “HISSSS.” He hears a hiss and feels something watching him. “SHOW YOURSELF YOU FREAK OF NATURE.” A black figure crawls out from the shadow. “Tries to hurt me, hurt Edward. AHHHH.” He hisses and screams at him. He goes to attack him but The Punisher unloads bullets from his M4. Vermin shouts in pain “AHHHHHHHH.” Frank slowly followed him. “YOU CAN'T RUN VERMIN. I'LL KILL YOU MATTER WHAT. I'LL DO WHATEVER, YOU'RE COWARD THAT PREY ON THE WEAK.” “Vermin doesn't prey on the weak. I DON'T HAVE CONTROL, AHHHH. Vermin needs to eat, Edward needs to live.” he scurries away. After a minute of walking he arrived in a circular area where Vermin threw him in. “AHHHHH. Vermin will kill you now.” Frank picks his M4 up again, shooting him. He screams crawling up the wall. The Punisher pulls the trigger when vermin is above it and doesn't do anything. He checks the mag to see it's empty. Vermin drops down Scratching Frank across the face. He pulls out his pistol shooting him in the eye. “AHHHHHH, AHHHHH.” Frank goes up and shoots him on the head, killing him.
He hears a scream further down. Going down the tunnel he sees lab equipment and a lizard transforming into a person. “The Lizard, perfect timing.” Limping, he goes over to The Lizard waiting for him to transform. “AHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, HELP PLEASE, AHHHHHHH.” Frank just stands there till he transforms. He pulls his pistol out and points it at Connor's. “You're the lizard. What's your name? WHAT YOUR NAME?” “Connor's. Dr Curtis Connors.” Frank starts to pull the triggers. “PLEASE I DIDN'T HAVE CONTROL PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.”
Peter drops down in front of him webbing his pistol. “We don't kill people, understand.” The Punisher grits his teeth “Back off kid really.” “So you can kill him. Like you did Electro. You told me you were going against Fisk, why are you going for The Lizard.” The Punisher smirks at Peter, making nervous. “I wasn't here for him. It's just a coincidence.” Peter stands there wondering what's next. The Punisher runs towards him Peter jumps over him kicking him in the back. The Punisher hits his head knocking him to the ground Peter uses this to web him up.
“Ok we need to get outta here understand.” Connor's nods and starts to pack his stuff. “I won't kill you kid.” Peter looks at him. “Good because neither will I.” “I'm ready Spider-Man.” Curt says to Peter “Alright let's get outta here.” Peter swings Curt Connors out of the sewers
Manhattan, New York, 8:53 pm
“Ok you need a cure. Uhh, I've got it. I'll take you to the Baxter building. Reed can help you.” Connors thinks. “What if he finds me?” Peter sighs. “It's probably got more security than the raft and it's got four of the best heroes in the world in there.” Connors agrees and Peter swings him there.
When he gets there they walk in. Peter shouts. “REED YOU HERE. REED RICHARDS.” “Peter.” They turn around to see Sue. “Hey Miss Richard's I need your help.” She looks at Peter then at Connor's “What's wrong Peter are you in trouble.” Peter looks at her then Connors. “Not me. Have you ever heard of The Punisher?” She looks confused. “Uhh no why.” “He's trying to kill him. He needs a secure place to stay. And he needs a cure to stop him from turning into a lizard.” She looks. “What about you? Will he kill you?” He sighs “No he won't. He just wants to kill villains.” She looks at Connors saying “Reed is out but he'll be back soon he can make you a cure. Be safe Peter this stuff doesn't end well.” Connor's looks at Peter “Thanks Parker I would never expect you to be a superhero. Miss Richards, can you get my family?”
Peter leaves, going to the top of the Baxter building for some peace. “I'm too tired. I just want to go home but I need to find Fisk.” He checks the wound Connor's left. “I'm losing too much blood. My costume is destroyed and I helped the guy escape death. How am I going to explain this to May my wounds? I can't believe it. First day as an adult and I might not live to see the second. Uncle Ben must think I'm stupid.” He shakes his head. “I've got to go to Fisk tower and warn him.” Peter swings to Fisk tower.
Manhattan, New York, 9:01pm
Spider-Man arrives feeling light headed. He swings up to the office where Fisk and his men are sitting. He opens the door, his men immediately pointing their guns at him. “DROP YOU WEAPONS.” Fisk tells his men. Reluctantly they do Peter Limping towards him. “I need to warn you. A guy, a guy is uh is uh going to kill you.” His voice started to slur and he was barely able to keep his eyes open.” Fisk walks towards him. “You two get the medics now.” Peter falls unconscious.
Waking up Peter wonder's where he is looking around and he sees medical equipment. He gets up and walks through a pair of doors into a room full of men and Fisk working at a desk. “You're awake. You've been out for nine hours.” Peter realises that his face is exposed and Fisk notices this. “We all know who you are, Parker.” Peter walks up to him. “Why did you save me? You're goon tried to kill me yesterday.” Fisk calmly got up saying. “Yesterday you came to warn me. I knew why because of the Punisher. When you came here you were close to death. I saved you because. I need you to defeat the Punisher. I've asked every mercenary in this city and it's the same answer. No before Punisher was a myth but now after the men he's killed. The only one who can defeat him is you.” Peter looks at him. “Who's to say I'll stop him.” “Because yesterday you came here to warn me. The only one who wants me dead that can do anything is him.” Peter looks at him. “Where's my stuff.” Fisk clicks his Fingers and one of his men comes over to Peter giving him his phone, suit and web shooters. Putting them on Peter goes to the window telling Fisk. “Thanks Fisk. You really should leave the city.” Peter swings away.
Queen's New York, 6:09 pm
Peter swings through Queens arriving at his girlfriend's house. He goes to her window knocking on it. She wakes up opening it. When Peter enters he takes off his mask. “I can't do it anymore Peter last night you never showed up. I thought you were dead. This Electro almost killed you and the lizard. Peter I ju- AHH.” She screams seeing Peter's face covered in stitches. “I'm not that ugly.” Peter jokes but MJ says. “What happened yesterday.” Peter sits down “It's a long story.”
Manhattan, New York, Sewers, Time Unknown
“DOWN HERE, THERE'S A LAB.” Two police officers walk down the sewers seeing a lab. They both walk into Connor's lab looking around. “What the hey Chris, what is this place? Chris.” Click the police officer feels a gun to the back of his head. “I'm going to take your gun and handcuffs. And Chris is alright just incapacitated.” Frank takes the cop's gun and handcuffs him to a metal pole.
Leaving the sewers Frank feels the cold air on his face. Checking his watch he realises it is broken. He goes to his van and drives off to his house.
When he gets inside he goes to the kitchen checking the clock. “Wasn't down there for long.” He puts on the TV while he makes shotgun shells. “Breaking news this morning we have word that Spider-Man and the Lizard destroyed Oscorpe hours ago, fleeing in the sewers. They also found the cannibal serial killer known as Vermin dead. They say it's a man dressed in black wearing a white skull on his chest. Now I don't condone murder but I want to personally thank this heroe for dealing with someone Spider-Man probably thinks isn't worth his time.” Punisher looks at the TV and at his shotgun loading. “That's all for now J, Jonah, Jamerson signing off.”
Frank goes into his pantree grabbing a bag of cash. He looks in it seeing about hundred and fifty grand. He takes it to his van with him driving off.
Manhattan, New York, 04:41
Frank walks into a small café and enters. “Mister Castle, quite a busy night was it.” Frank walks up giving him the bag of money. “Do you have the thing?” the man clears his throat. “Yes, your coffee is ready. Hot, two sugars and no milk. That'll be one dollar fifty cents.” Frank looks at the bag and at the device he's buying. He picks it up and leaves. “Keep the change.”

Twitter warning for serious health concerns
Ever since getting (presumably) covid last year, I have been dealing with palpitations, chest pain, and sometimes trouble breathing. Which are also symptoms of a heart attack. When this first happened, I went to the ER, and saw a cardiologist, and they told me everything was fine and to stop worrying. Easier said than done.
Since then, I also developed pain in my left shoulder and arm, sometimes even hand, and numbness on the left side of my body. GP is suspecting bursitis and a pinched nerve in the neck, so I'll be getting an MRI tomorrow. I also have intermittent jaw pain (I assume from being very tense, but who knows, and often get dizzy or lightheaded. Today, my right shoulder hurts as well, because why not add to my long list of symptoms?
I told my GP that I have to actively ignore symptoms that would send a healthy person to the ER, pretty much every day, and she said to try to ignore them. I get it, of course. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if in case I ever did have a heart attack, I would just gaslight myself into ignoring it. (I'm not that worried about missing a stroke despite my left-sided weakness because I can still lift both of my arms without one drooping, and my husband would notice if my face drooped or I started slurring words.) The symptoms of heart attack are already so confusing for women - like, you could just feel lightheaded and "off"? Or like you have indigestion? I feel lightheaded and off all the time, and long covid causes me indigestion, so what the hell am I supposed to do?
And yes, I've been checked by several doctors, but there is research about covid potentially causing blood clots even and cardiovascular events even in previously healthy people, and the inactivity from being sick isn't good for the heart, and I have to take birth control pills for my awful periods, so my risk isn't zero. Plus, I have some medical trauma and general PTSD, so I feel extremely out of control and unsafe in my own body. I'm seeing a therapist who is very understanding, and I have anxiety medication, but I still feel like my life is at risk. I can't sleep without my husband and a pulse oxymeter that sounds an alarm if my oxygen saturation or pulse drop, so I hope that if something happens to me, he'll be able to call for help immediately and do CPR.
I know that long covid is making a lot of people depressed and suicidal, but I still have so many things to do. I only finished the first draft of my first ever novel last month, and I still have so many edits to do and so many other stories to write. Even if I can't go out much, I can, and want to, keep writing.
To anyone who is in the same boat, I am so, so sorry. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. (Well, except maybe for the dentist who promised she'd mask, then took it off to cough on me and probably caused this hell on earth.) I can only hope that once I can hopefully get some answers and alleviate the pain, I will be able to worry less.

The Guardians of the Globe is a superhero team of extraordinary individuals, considered to be the best of the best. Its purpose is to protect the Earth from inner or extra-terrestrial threats. Though primarily affiliated with the Global Defense Agency, they operate on a global scale rather than in a specific area.
The team was originally founded during the late 20th century and was primarily sponsored by the Global Defense Agency. Its original members comprised The Immortal, Darkwing, War Woman, Red Rush, Aquarus, Martian Man, Black Samson, and Green Ghost I. Their headquarters was funded by Darkwing and War Woman's company.
Black Samson would eventually lose his abilities due to unknown means, which caused him to leave the team. Later on, the original Green Ghost was killed in action and a female Green Ghost took his place.
Threads for scaling:

• Omni Man
• Mauler Twins

The Immortal

"When in doubt, throw them into space."

Immortal's full thread.
Strength

• Draws blood from Omni Man with a punch.
• Throws Bi-plane into space.

Durability/Endurance

• Takes a pretty hard hit from Omni Man

Speed/Agility

• Flies at Mach 3.

Immortality

• Comes back to life after being decapitated by having his head reattached.

Darkwing

"Luckily, I don't have to be everywhere, only where I'm needed."

Feats

• Dodges an attack with a crowbar and counterattacks and floors his attacker with two attacks.
• Throws a man into a metal door with one hand which dents the door and causes a sign on the other side of the door to come off.
• [Durability Limit] Barely survives being slammed into the ground by Omni Man but dies after he is slammed a second time.

Equipment

• A hoverboard.
• Shurikens.
• A grappling hook.
• His cape which allows him to fall from great heights without taking any damage and makes him fall slower.
• Explosives that destroy some debris.
• Retractable mechanical arms that come out of his belt and can briefly lift a tank a little.
• Magnetic handcuffs.
• The wing jet.
• Explosive discs that stagger Omni Man.

Weaknesses

• Can sometimes make some stupid decisions such as trying to kick Omni Man despite only being a normal person.

War Woman

"Regardless, it's him or us."

Holly, better known as War Woman, was a superheroine and a member of the Guardians of the Globe. War Woman protected Earth until her demise at the hands of Omni-Man.
Strength

• Floors a Mauler Twin with a hit from her mace.
• Knocks a Mauler Twin off of his feet with a hit from her mace.
• Sends a Mauler Twin flying into the air with a hit from her mace.
• Draws blood from Omni Man with a hit from her mace.
• Draws more blood from Omni Man with a hit from her mace.
• Draws more blood from Omni Man with punches and the help of The Immortal.

Durability/Endurance

• Is slammed into the ground face first by Omni Man and recovers a little bit later.
• Is punched by Omni Man and recovers after a little bit.
• [Limit] Dies after Omni Man snaps her neck.

Speed/Agility

• Avoids an attack from one of the Mauler Twins.

Misc.

• Skillfully uses her mace against a Mauler Twin.

Red Rush

"Olga please, you can't see things how I do, my perception is just as fast as I am, the briefest conversation with anyone seems like hours to me, it's agony!"

Josef, also known as Red Rush, was a Russian speedster and the Guardians of the Globe's first responder. He was an original member of the Guardians of the Globe and had worked with Omni-Man before they were betrayed and murdered by him.
Strength

• Punches the Mauler Twins.
• Briefly staggers Omni Man with a few punches.
• Bruises Omni Man with his punches and eventually causes him to cough up blood.

Durability/Endurance

• [Limit] Dies when Omni Man crushes his skull.

Speed/Agility

• Quickly saves two men.
• Quickly moves many people while having time to briefly talk two times.
• Punches the Mauler Twins many times.
• Quickly changes clothes then runs across town and contains Kursk in a split second before he could even realize what happens then makes it back to his wife so quickly she doesn't notice he is gone until she sees his costume, which he changes out of in a split second.
• Perceived things just as quickly as he moves and even the briefest conversation feels like hours for him.
• Reacts to Omni Man trying to attack the Immortal and reaches him before Omni Man can despite being on the other side of the room.
• Stops a punch from Omni Man before it can connect with War Woman.
• Moves Aquarus out of the way of Omni Man's attack.

Aquarus

"FINALLY, SOME ACTION!"

Aquarus was a hydrokinetic creature from an undersea nation and an original member of the Guardians of the Globe. They had worked with Omni-Man but were betrayed and murdered by him.
Feats

• Shoves his hands into a road.
• Swims away quickly.
• [Durability Limit] Dies when Omni Man smashes his head with War Woman's mace.

Hydrokinesis

• Propels a tank that Martian Man threw.
• Blasts a Mauler Twin.
• Propels the Mauler Twins into the air.
• Blasts Omni Man for a little bit which briefly moves him back a little.

Martian Man

"No Nikki, you know guardians' business is too dangerous for human children."

Martian Man was an exiled Martian and superhero of the planet Earth, during his time as a superhero he would become an original member of the Guardians of the Globe. Martian Man would protect Earth until his demise at the hands of Omni-Man.
Strength/shapeshifting

• Throws a tank.
• Wraps his arm around a Mauler Twin and throws him.
• Wraps around and restrains the Mauler Twins.
• Wraps around Omni Man and restrains him for a little bit.
• Wraps around Omni Man again and restrains him for a little bit.

Durability/Endurance

• Recovers a little after Omni Man breaks out of his grasp.

Weaknesses

• Has a exposed pink bubble thing, which when torn off of him kills him.

Green Ghost

"Oh no."

Alana, also known as Green Ghost, was a superheroine who could change her density. The origin of her powers was from an unknown green rock that would change her form into an intangible, green entity. She replaced the original Green Ghost and was a member of the Guardians of the Globe until they were all betrayed and killed by Omni-Man.
Durability/Endurance

• [Limit] Dies after Omni Man punches through her skull.

Speed

• Saves some kids from falling debris.
• Flies off quickly and creates a sonic boom.

Intangibility

• Goes through a rock with some kids.
• Makes the Mauler Twins get stuck into the ground.

I knew she was sick! I fucking knew it! She was coughing a lot and I asked her if she was sick. She got really offended and said no. But big surprise she called me this morning and said that she thought she was getting a cold. 🙄
She offered to take me to the pharmacy to pick up some antifungals that I've needed for an infection that I've been battling.
I'm freaking the hell out! I've already missed so much work due to this fungal infection that I've had for over a month and I can't even risk getting a cold right now.
My exposure to her today was brief and she obviously wore a mask. I wore one too. But I'm more worried about the exposure that I had to wear yesterday while she was coughing. To my knowledge, she covered her mouth with her elbow but it still bothers me that when I first brought to her attention that she was coughing a lot and that it made me uncomfortable she genuinely got offended. With how much she was coughing she should have called off anyway. I get sometimes people don't realize they're sick until a day or two after their symptoms show up but when you're a caregiver and you take care of the disabled you have to be extra cautious with things like this even if it means missing a few extra days of work and cutting it out of your paycheck.
I'm a little hesitant to take extra immune supplements right now just because of the probiotics that I'm on plus the antifungals for my infection. But is there anything else I can do? Obviously I've Lysol sprayed a lot of stuff and sanitized my hands with alcohol but what else can I do to calm my anxiety?

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"Now hear this, now hear this.
"In less than an hour we will drop out of jump space. Chances of an enemy encounter are high. We are far from home, far from support and surrounded by untold trillions of Mar-gite in deep space. This is good, it means we don't have to worry about what we shoot at.
"When the time comes, I have only one standing order: fight. Fight with every gun, every missile, every ounce of will and scrap of code at your disposal. If central control is lost, fight under local control. If isolated from the computers, fight under manual control. If boarded, fight for every corridor, every stateroom, every access way you can reach. Fight for your lives and if you find your situation hopeless, fight to drag the enemy into the grave with you.
"The Confederacy expects that every sentient will do their duty. Our duty is to engage the enemy.
"And the enemy only exists to be destroyed.
"That is all." -- Nova Wars Era, Confederate Space Force, speaker and ship of origin uncertain.
"Tell me, Sister? How far does your sight reach? How many years? And then, in the future, when we have given up strength, and allies, and numbers, and the potential to fight back meaningfully, time and again, in pursuit of your safe path... and you find out it is a cul-de-sac, surrounded on all sides by death, with no possible escape, because you traded away every chance of victory because you were scared... who will you blame then?" - Dhruv Deshmuhk, Legion, apocryphal, referenced in "Telling a Hard Truth straight: a love language", Psychology Forever Journal
"We fight, not for today, not for this blood soaked agony wracked terrible day or the horrible horrible victory we may wrench from the gnashing jaws of defeat with blood soaked hands.
"We fight for tomorrow. For those yet unborn. For the future.
"You are the hope of the Telkan people. You are the living standard, the banner, that says to the universe: We will not submit! We will not kneel! We will stand! We will fight!
"With that, know that the Telkan people are with you, Marine. Always." - Director Brentili'ik, in a speech to Telkan Marine Officer's Training Course Class #10, Confederacy-Council Conflict Era.
The flashes were starting. Not big ones, not the Flashbang, but rather the tiny pinpricks of harsh light that sparkled for a second that vanished.
Deaths that had happened seconds or minutes prior.
Captain N'Skrek stared out the windows of the Show Bridge, staring at the inky black of space. The ship, the Gray Lady, was in between the Galactic Arms, in the vast nothingness that held no stellar systems.
Oh, it had at one time.
Forty thousand years prior the stars between the two galactic arm spurs had gone out, with the exception of a single string of pearls liking the two galactic arms.
Now, the Gray Lady, a ship in the Colossus Class of ancient Confederacy Space Force classification, was deep into the gulf between the galactic arms. Just over halfway.
He could see the rings that made up a long tube, the rings held into position by what looked like, at a distance of light seconds, to be thin straps. Coasting silently through the rings, bathed by light emitted by the interior of the rings, were massive Mar-gite Attack Clusters.
Sparkles were starting to show on the clusters as the Fruit Flies made their attack runs.
Larger flashes, still rendered tiny by stellar distances, started shining to brief life as the C+ cannon barrages and the missile swarms started slamming into the shining chrome ships.
Return fire was causing the battlescreens to cover the ship in a gauzy veil.
"No, no, it's all death and destruction," a Terran woman moaned from where she was being held in place by three identical human males.
Captain N'Skrek knew that it was, without any doubt, a physical assault upon the female.
But Captain N'Skrek was also smart enough to know not to get involved when two Immortals of myth and legend were having a family squabble.
After all, were not the Treana'ad a crafty and wise people who managed to obtain victgory over 25% of all military engagements with the Terrans?
"We're humans, there's always death and destruction," the male said, his voice slightly mocking. "Look past the probabilities. Look past the initial death and destruction. Look at the pathways it all leads to. Look at the path that we're taking."
The woman struggled but the man held her still.
"It's all death and destruction! Millions! Billions! Trillions of deaths!" she wailed.
"The enemy's death toll does not matter, little sister," the man, known to historians as the Biological Apostle Vat-Grown Luke, told the woman. "It's war. There will be death and destruction no matter what. What matters, all that matters, is that humanity and its allies survive."
"Please, Luke," the woman started sobbing.
"Tears don't work on me," Legion said, his voice full of dark and cruel mirth.
He leaned his head down.
"I am... Legion," he said softly.
Captain N'Skrek put the two Immortals out of his mind as he coordinated the battle, taking tactical and strategic advice from his staff.
The Fruit Flies wreaked havoc on the rings, shattering them, letting superstructure damage work with inertia and momentum to tear the systems apart. C+ cannon shots hitting deep inside the megastructures. The shots were no longer straight iron ferrite slugs with a hyperdrive engine for thrust and reactionless inertia engines for guidance and terminal maneuvers, they now had a burning core of spooky and strange-particle FOOF that weighed in the metric kilotons.
"Fruit Fly system back online, Captain."
"Fabricate and launch," N'Skrek ordered. "Compliments on their initial strikes."
The silver ships were destroyed already, the temporal range finders reporting data from when the shells would hit, telling N'Skrek's staff where the ships would be when the shots were fired.
"I can't... I can't..." the woman sobbed when N'Skrek ordered another flight of Fruit Flies into the fight.
"Parse the deaths, parse the destruction," Legion said. Another of him pointed at the icons for the just-launched Fruit Fly flights. "They are born, they live, and they die to kill the enemy. Over and over, it's what they do. Look past their deaths at their accomplishments."
The Terran woman was sobbing, but N'Skrek didn't care.
He had a job to do.
Task Force Lonely Peach had a job to do.
It had came as no surprise to him that Legion would know, without being told or having it confirmed, what the ultimate goal of Task Force Lonely Peach.
After all, Legion himself had carried out such orders under the command of the Imperium.
It no longer mattered what happened behind the Gray Lady, whether or not the Confederacy or anyone else survived. It no longer mattered if the Mar-gite were victorious or not.
The target were not the Mar-gite, present in the massive rolled up long cones.
The target were the ones pushing them forward, the ones enabling them to cross the great emptiness between the two galactic arms.
No, the target was now those enabling the Mar-gite.
Captain N'Skrek's orders were simple.
Find the enemy.
Determine their leadership.
Attack their military.
Attack their planets.
Sterilize their stellar systems.
Break the will of their civilians to support their government.
Leave them no ground to go to.
His briefing had been grim. The Confederacy was confident it could eventually stop the Mar-gite.
Eventually.
That meant dozens, hundreds, possibly thousands of planets denuded of life. Just as many stars nova-sparked to wipe out any trace of the Mar-gite.
Task Force Lonely Peach had been dispatched with a very Terran mission.
To return to the Mar-gite's masters what they had given the Confederacy.
Tenfold.
Captain N'Skrek watched as the Fruit Flies split up into squadrons, heading for any remaining hulks of the silver ships, the larger pieces of the megaconstruct, and to fire upon any of the Mega-Clusters or larger.
"Look past the death and destruction," Legion was saying. "They'll be sending in reinforcements, Sacajawea," his voice grew low and deadly. "Where will they come out."
"No, I won't," she whispered, her eyes wide and staring at the holotank. "I won't use my gift," she sobbed.
"You will. You ran away last time. You left us to rely on The Detainee to access the SUDS. You ran off and left us and humanity has been extinct for forty-thousand years," Legion was saying. "No more running, little sister. You will use your gifts, your powers, as you were meant to."
There was a perfectly timed coincidental moment of silence on the Show Bridge.
"Show us the way," Legion said.
Sacajawea suddenly jerked upright, the tendons on her neck standing out as her face raised to the ceiling. Her arm lifted, pointing out the window of the Show Bridge. Her other hand thrust itself into the hologram. Her eyes glowed purple, lightning crackled up and down her raven braids, and sparks danced between her teeth as they chattered.
A section of space was outlined as she gibbered for a moment, fragments of words, chops of sentences, followed by a string of numbers that the tactical computers recognized as coordinates.
"They come, more than before. They know not what they face, just that the enemy, that we, are attacking them, attacking their forces, and so now they will arrive here and now," she cried out. "They do not know, they come in a multitude that not even this powerful vessel can resist. They come by the hundreds, and will overwhelm even this vessel according to my Sight."
She collapsed and Legion caught her even as two versions of him turned to face the windows.
"Let me know when you want me to call for those reinforcements I promised you," one said.
"Or not," the other said.
N'Skrek just nodded, turning and giving orders to the crew to prepare for a microjump to put them 'above' and 'away' from the point that Sacajawea had pointed out.
"Can she have lied?" N'Skrek asked, the Legion standing beside him as four others carefully carried Sacajawea off.
Legion shook his head. "No. I'd know if she was lying," he said. "She was filled with a trance, a fugue state, so the more mortal part of her wasn't there to lie."
"Hold off on those reinforcements until we can see what we are facing," N'Skrek said. He snorted. "I doubt the young lady fully appreciates the firepower the Gray Lady can put out."
"She was never military. She had some training, but not much," Legion said. "Still, she had a vision, take that as you will."
N'Skrek nodded. He turned and ordered up more Fruit Flies to be generated.
He'd have them launch as soon as the microjump was finished.
"Digital Sentiences, Virtual Intelligences report jump transit safety interlocks are engaged," came the word.
N'Skrek motioned. "Engage."
The painting appeared, but before N'Skrek could pause to look at it he was thrown through it, the image shattering into hundreds of shards of reality. They dissolved almost instantly.
N'Skrek only took a half-step forward as the ship entered realspace.
"Load the planet-crackers. Target the larger Mar-gite constructs. Let's see how they like that, since we don't have to worry about gravitational wobble," N'Skrek ordered. "When our new guests arrive, I want them to be focusing on the constructs."
"Fruit Flies are launching. Steam driven launcher only," came the report.
N'Skrek nodded, staring at the screen.
"I remember waiting to ambush the Mantid's Third Fleet that was heading for Sol," Legion said conversationally, as if he wasn't speaking about one of the most famous wars of ancient history. "Hiding in the gravity shadow of a supermassive gas giant, inside the rings themselves."
He turned and gave N'Skrek a grin.
"An Armada of One," he said. "No chance for the Mantid to overwhelm my brain, to shut me down. Beyond a Hive Mind, a singular mind with a singular purpose."
"Sounds exciting," N'Skrek said, watching the windows and the holotank at the same time.
"Very boring. I played a lot of video games and card games," Legion said.
"Against yourself, even an MMO would be solitary and single player," N'Skrek said.
"Ruins PvP," Legion grinned.
"I'll bet," N'Skrek said.
"The Sacajawea of that time stood on the bridge with me. She had shown me where the Mantid would take the most casualties and where I would be killed quite often," Legion said. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and N'Skrek hid a frown at the fact he didn't recognize Lucky Strike as a brand he was familiar with.
"Does it hurt when you get killed?" N'Skrek asked as Legion lit two cigarettes, handing one to N'Skrek.
"Very much so," Legion said. "Took me a few hundred thousand deaths to get used to it. Now, it hurts, it's terrifying, but not much more than clipping my fingernails," he sighed. "It's all right. I've always been, in many ways, less than human."
"You seem, to my albeit limited experience, to be very human to me," N'Skrek said. He took a drag off the cigarette and almost started coughing. It was harsh, raw tobacco with no additives and the filter tasting heavily of asbestos.
The Fruit Flies were scattering, going to full stealth, blinking their ready icons.
"Thank you," Legion said. He exhaled smoke. "Like the smoke?"
N'Skrek nodded.
"Gift from the Dee. Not the Detainee Lady Lord of Hell," he said, staring at the holotank. "But The Dee. The flesh and blood one," he gave a rueful chuckle. "Evil never dies."
"Harsh," N'Skrek said.
The missile pods flashed ready and went to stealth.
"Like her," Legion smiled. He suddenly looked a bit sad. "I miss her. Miss my siblings, the other Biological Apostles," he said. He sighed. "Sacajawea makes me miss them all that much more."
N'Skrek just nodded.
"Sometimes I miss the Digital Omnimessiah too."
"Ship is at silent running," came the soft voice.
N'Skrek stood there, smoking, with Legion standing next to him.
Behind them Mar-gite clusters were breaking up from a combination of the FOOF and the split second artificial singularities that exploded into existence inside their mass.
Perhaps I can't completely eliminate them, but I can knock out a measurable percentage since I don't have to worry about how it might affect a stellar system's gravity balance, he thought at one point.
Time slowly ticked by.
"How is she?" N'Skrek asked at one point.
"Recovering. I'm sitting with her. I had a medic look at her. Physically, she's fine," Legion said.
"She should be on anti-depressants and undergoing therapy. For us it's ancient history, for her the Glassing and the loss of her people, even her death, are recent events. She only died a short time ago," N'Skrek said.
"And you should be dancing for a comely matron and I should be somewhere helping someone correct genetic sequencing damage," Legion said. "Shoulda, coulda, woulda, didn't."
N'Skrek just nodded.
"Wait, can you see that?" Legion suddenly asked, pointing at the window.
"What?" N'Skrek said.
"The stars. A faint red-shift," Legion said.
N'Skrek looked toward the scanning officer, who frowned and looked at his instruments.
"It's faint. And large," Legion said. He motioned with his hands, using the smart-glass interface to highlight the area. "Right there."
"Nothing, sir," the scan-tech said.
N'Skrek tapped his lapel. "All personnel, prepare for enemy engagement," he said.
His voice carried over the intercom.
"Akka-Berry," Legion said softly. "They use a form of Akka-Berry."
The chrome ships suddenly appeared, wavering slightly like a heat mirage before solidifying up. They appeared pebbled and dull, like unbuffed and unpolished chrome.
"OPEN FIRE!" N'Skrek roared. He knew it was unnecessary, that the computers would give the fire order.
But it seemed to carry more weight as the PA repeated it.
0-0-0-0-0
Legion got into the elevator, waiting a moment after the doors closed to touch the panel. He overrode the alarms, then stopped the elevator.
The shadows warped and a light fog filled the elevator car.
It cleared to reveal a short Terran woman, with black hair pulled behind her head in a long braid, a severe face, plump, overripe figure, and gunmetal gray eyes.
"Well?" Legion asked.
"She's a child," the woman spat.
"I know that," Legion said. "Can you help her?"
"No, I mean, she's literally a child. Physically. She's never grown up," the woman snarled.
"Our aging was halted due to what we were going to do. The last thing we needed was a temporal sheer to kill half of us via old age," Legion said.
"I know that, you multiplying idiot," the woman snapped. "But she should have been allowed to grow into an adult first."
"She chose to stay young," Legion shrugged.
"And her brain has the neural pathways of a child," the woman snapped. She dug out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter of enameled steel. "The human brain doesn't fully mature until it's in its mid-20's. That's why we sent 18 year olds off to die in a rice patty or on some god forsaken beach. You need people who think charging the machinegun is a good idea, and teenage boys are well known for their excellent risk-reward judgement."
Legion just shrugged.
"But her, she's a child. Sixteen at the most, probably later fifteen," the woman said. She pulled out a cigarette, held it between her even white teeth, and lit it. "She has the mind of a teenage girl, a people known for their excellent decision making ability and capability to process trauma."
Legion just nodded.
The woman put away the cigarettes without offering one to Legion. He saw the emblem on the lighter.
"US ARMY ATOMIC COMMAND" in red block letters.
"You know how I feel about child soldiers," the woman said.
"It was The Glassing," Legion just shrugged.
"It's always something," the woman snarled. "Doesn't change how I feel."
"Can you help her?" Legion asked. "You're closer to her than I am."
"You mean, I'm as much a primitive barbarian as she is," the woman said, suddenly smiling without any humor. "I am what I am and she is what she is. Primitive savages from a time of hardship, resource shortages, and social upheaval."
"I wouldn't be so rude as to put it that way," Legion said. He smiled back. "But, yes."
The woman stared at the brushed steel wall of the elevator for a long moment. "I won't alter her SUDS record."
"Of course not," Legion said.
After a moment she nodded. "I can't help her, but I know some people who may."
Legion looked down at her. "Who?"
The woman smiled and exhaled smoke that filled the elevator car.
Her teeth and eyes were still visible.
"You'll know them when I bring them," she said. The eyes blinked. "Keep me in the loop for what's going on here. I have a feeling that events back home are going to have my attention pretty soon."
"I will," Legion told the eyes as the smile vanished.
The eyes closed.
Legion could feel it when she was gone. The smoke slowly cleared, leaving him alone in the elevator.
0-0-0-0-0
"What is taking this elevator so long to get here?" Jaskel asked 8814.
--not know computer says is moving-- the greenie replied.
"Aw man, Gunny's going to have my ass."
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]

My LO has been battling reflux and now GERD since 6 weeks and was on Pepcid for a month and now on Nexium. He was diagnosed with cow’s milk protein allergy and I had to cut out soy and dairy (I feel horrible because I honestly mess up sometimes and forget and I’ll have a bite here and there of dairy/soy) and he’s been on Nutramigen since 8 weeks. He’s still combo feeding (breast milk during the day, formula at night due to me being an under supplier). He used to have multiple yellow/green loose BMs a day, but now has a daily HUGE BM that’s yellow and runny. Like this morning, it was seeping out of the diaper upwards to his back and his stomach.
The other day we tried to ease into GentleEase to see how he tolerated it (OK per his pedi) and his poops turned green and loose, sometimes seedy and he started coughing again after the feeds where GentleEase was mixed w/ Nutramigen, so we switched back to Nutramigen and now the poops are yellow and runny again.
How do I know he tolerates the formula and is growing from it? Our next pedi appt isn’t for another month. His slow growth could be due to his reflux, but he is starting to eat more now that we’re resolving his aversion.

You can call it brain fog, or a slow brain, heavy/stuffed head or whatever. I’m not sure exactly how to explain it better. It just feels like my brain is all webbed up and stuffy.
I’m a 26 male, 5’9, 65kg/143lbs
What I’m feeling right now: It feels like my vision is a bit narrower, looking around and focusing on things seems like a chore, I don’t have mental clarity and short term memory is slightly affected - I basically find myself zoning out and forgetting what I was about to do, only to remember it again a few seconds later. When i’m sitting working on my computer, my head feels heavy and it’s hard to keep steady focus, it’s better when I support my head with a hand or two (propping it up), similarly laying my head back on a pillow and using phone is easier as opposed to having it upright. Because of all this I have no motivation or drive to involve myself in complex tasks (my business/work related).
How I got here: All of this started when I got a flu, I had really bad dry cough, and coughing excessively started giving me a painful headache. Soon after I had mucus (snot) from my nose, it seemed dry previously but it eventually started coming up. This was almost 2 months ago now. I’ve had this stuffy head feeling ever since. When the flu symptoms subsided, I was left with a constant dizzy/vertigo feeling. Over time it got a bit better in the sense I felt it only when I woke up or occasionally throughout the day.
Now this webbed up brain feeling as I explained is there, i’ve also felt postnasal drip, my sinuses also feel blocked (family history of deviated nasal septum). My head also sometimes randomly sways in one direction for a split second.
I was going through my old reddit posts and found out that I’ve had a similar experience around 5 years ago, right after a flu. I was trying to find help then but didn’t get a single reply.
If someone knows what could it be and what are the steps to take, or any additional information is required from me, do help. Plus, if I have to get it checked from a Doc, who should I go to? An ENT? A Neuro? A GP? Or should I get some basic blood tests done first to rule out anything (vitamins, rbcs, iron, cholesterol etc)

I think it’s safe to say that I love Metroidvanias. I’ve been binging them since a big one by Ubisoft of all people released earlier this year and have loved their level design and philosophies since childhood. I’m also a big fan of those with fleshed out combat systems and rewarding exploration. After being bored with countless imitators and not being the biggest fan of the likes of Hollow Knight (sorry) or Super Metroid, I decided to give Symphony of the Night a try since it was on sale w/ Rondo of Blood included on the PS store.
Disclaimer: this was my first Castlevania game, so while I started with Rondo and wasn’t the biggest fan of the arcade-like, classic style, I went straight to SOTN.
I can now say it’s one of my favorite games ever made. It blows my mind how well this game has aged and how a game that was released before I was born does certain things just as well, if not better, than most modern releases I’ve seen. I’m a huge Soulsborne/Soulslike buff too, so this game definitely scratched that itch in more ways than one- Josh Strife Hayes’s video on SOTN does a great job explaining the comparisons.
The interconnected level design, the tough but fair combat, weapon and enemy variety, the true ending and second half of the game rewarding you for thoroughly exploring the castles, the unique abilities and sometimes game-breaking add-ons to them (looking at you, gas cloud), the banger soundtrack (Crystal Teardrops, Wandering Ghosts, Lost Paintings, Rainbow Cemetery, and Tragic Prince especially 🥹), fleshed out Action RPG mechanics, the similar “come back later and go somewhere else if you’re struggling” design philosophy to Elden Ring, I could gush.
Also, despite me hating the older save systems in games like this and Metroid Prime where death boots you back to the title screen and means losing all of your progress prior to saving, I found the placement of the save points (most of the time, coughcough Chapel cough) extremely fair and reasonable. Unlike Hollow Knight or even the early Souls games, boss runbacks were extremely minimal (or sometimes nonexistent) for the most part. If the runback was long and the area was more difficult, the boss was, or felt, easier to compensate. For a game released this early on and older than me, that’s fucking brilliant.
If a remake was hypothetically in the works (not that there’s any rush) and Konami wants to add certain QoL features, I would flesh the map screen out more- color code areas of the castle, allow players to zoom in and label it, show players their completion percentage in the pause menu, allow players to select the area to teleport to instead of cycling through them (though I love how each station has an animal above the keyhole to distinguish each one, e.g. snake for mine and catacombs, horse for entrance, lion for castle keep), improve the versatility of the shield and maybe add a parry mechanic, and consider adding the lost areas like the Underground Garden and songs from the Saturn version into it, or maybe add some more.
Aforementioned nitpicks aside, Symphony of the Night blew me away from start to finish and I’m sad I haven’t played it earlier. I’m currently around 187% and I still haven’t found other secrets like the remainder of the Alucard gear and the Crissaegrim, which just goes to show how deep this rabbit hole goes! If you’re a MV enthusiast like me, please don’t make my same mistake and pass on this masterpiece.
PS: whoever named the trophies for SOTN Requiem on PS4/5 needs a raise yesterday

For Christmas, my mother (a formerly covid-consious turned "it's no big deal" narcissist) got us a cruise, which we're currently on right now. Mind you, I do not like cruises, and I didn't want to go on this one, but I had to bcuz there was no choice as my mother is very stubborn. I think I've only seen one single person in the last 48 hours wear a mask. There's so many old and visibly disabled people here, and NO ONE is masking. What is actually going on?!?!!!!
Being in such confined spaces has me so anxious it's not even funny. Not only that, but it seems like people are coughing and sneezing more than usual?? Like, idk if it's the COVID anxiety that makes me more aware, or if people are actually coughing and sneezing more than usual. Not to mention the amount of people that sneeze/cough INTO THEIR HANDS. Pandemic aside, did people not learn basic hygiene??? Even just common sense would tell you not to do that.
It's only day 2 out of 5 and I'm genuinely not sure how I'm going to make it through this without going crazy. I'm trying my best to stick to outdoor activities and being on the deck, but it's just so hard. I took shrooms yesterday just to deal with the anxiety, but doing that had the added consequence of not masking, as I was tripping so hard that it just didn't cross my mind. Today though, I've spent 90% of the day outdoors, and indoors I have my N95.
Honestly, it just makes me sad. Whatever happened to caring for your neighbor, or keeping up with your health. A part of me is afraid that I won't be able to enjoy this cruise that I didn't want to be on to begin with.
For context, I live in a big city and mask everywhere, usually with an N95 but sometimes with a KN95. I PCR tested negative for COVID, flu, and RSV prior to the trip, and my most recent novavax booster (2nd booster) was in March. and the last time I got COVID was July of '23 (twice before that). I'm thankful that I don't have LC, or any preexisting conditions that leave me immunocompromised (aside from already having COVID, which comprises your immunity by default), but you never know which infection could destroy your body, or if you pass along an infection that seriously harms someone else.
Thank you anyone who read my vent, I just had to say my piece somewhere cuz there's no one in my life that would listen
Update: Currently being chastised by my mom for wearing a mask. She doesn't wanna be seen with me 🤣

31 (m) - Diagnosed with sinusitis, inflammation & nasal polyps a couple of months ago. Never had asthma symptoms before. Usually wake up with a cough, wheezing and shortness of breath. Sometime during the day. Can the abnormal drainage mimic asthma symptoms? Just wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing.

Never knew about this until I was looking up symptoms. This started January when I started waking up with just lower back pain. It's mild and kinda just goes away after I get up and move about. Slowly started to feel pain on the back of my left leg and hips. Which was strange to me. My left hip kinda always feel like it's misaligned every couple weeks months and sometimes if I move it there's like a slight pop and it feels fine again. But this didn't feel like that plus the pain was numbing with spikes of pain. By the end of March my wife finally forced me to go see a doctor and they told me to go to PT.
Started PT in April but only on the weekend. I told the therapist my symptoms and he said my hamstrings are shortened. So for weeks now I've been going there to do hamstring stretches and get eletro and heat massage. I kept up the stretches at home and almost 2 months later no improvement.
Symptoms - Sitting for more then 10 minutes will numb the back of my left leg and eventually start sending shooting pains down my left butt down to the left knees. - symptoms goes away if I stand but very slowly and if I try to bend over hamstrings feel tight and painful(5 /10) stretching will kinda sooth and make it go away faster but initially it's painful - gaging and coughing will trigger the pain and sending temporary shooting pain down the left butt to left knee, much worse depending on the degree I'm bent over (common in the morning when I'm brushing my teeth)
Overall pains is from 3-6 and it depends on the chairs I sit in also. Certain ones depending on the height and how it supports your thighs/kneea will trigger the pain faster or worse. While high chairs doesn't effect me or after much longer times. Is this scatica? I had an Xray before PT on lower back which showed nothing but this makes no sense and I'm gonna ask for MRI.

Doctors I've spoken to told me that tonsil stones are benign, other than the bad smell, and they have nothing to do with your singing voice. I've also read on the internet and here on Reddit the same thing.
But for me, when I have tonsil stones (especially in the deeper areas where you can't easily see without laryngoscope), it affects my singing A LOT.
First of all, it hurts. It hurts when I'm not singing but it hurts a lot more when singing. And my range gets limited - especially with high notes. Also my voice becomes weak/thin and it cracks a lot when belting & hitting high notes. Ah, and sometimes it causes dry a cough too.
This has been happening to me quite a few times over the years. When I have trouble singing as usual, I always worry that my vocal cords are swollen or I'm having nodules and then eventually find out that I have tonsil stones at the clinic, remove them, and then my singing gets better quickly.
Yet I hear and read a lot that tonsil stones don't affect your voice and singing.
Anyone else here have similar experiences?