TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

For those seeking a Family Attorney Near Charleston SC, LaMantia Law Firm provides expert legal services. Our experienced team offers personalized representation in all family law matters, including divorce, child custody, and support. Trust us to handle your case with professionalism, ensuring your best interests are protected. Contact us at 843-724-6363.
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Hi all, I’m not sure if here is the right place for this but I’m really interesting in getting into cyber. I know you can do the basics yourself with comprehensive videos on YouTube and book exams yourself, but ITCertify are doing a deal at the moment for £899.
For this price they claim, “12 professional and accredited courses, including CompTIA IT Fundamentals, CompTIA A+, CompTIA Network+, CompTIA Cloud+, Microsoft Windows 10, Information Technology Infrastructure ITIL Foundations and Cisco CCNA. CompTIA Security+, CompTIA Linux+, CompTIA CySA+ (Cyber Security Analyst), CCSK Cloud Computing Security Knowledge and Ethical Hacker.”
They also write you a CV to help you get a job after, and claim this course can be completed in 5 months with 15 hours study a week.
Is this a good deal or should I do it myself?
Many thanks

Hi all, I’m not sure if here is the right place for this but I’m really interesting in getting into cyber. I know you can do the basics yourself with comprehensive videos on YouTube and book exams yourself, but ITCertify are doing a deal at the moment for £899.
For this price they claim, “12 professional and accredited courses, including CompTIA IT Fundamentals, CompTIA A+, CompTIA Network+, CompTIA Cloud+, Microsoft Windows 10, Information Technology Infrastructure ITIL Foundations and Cisco CCNA. CompTIA Security+, CompTIA Linux+, CompTIA CySA+ (Cyber Security Analyst), CCSK Cloud Computing Security Knowledge and Ethical Hacker.”
They also write you a CV to help you get a job after, and claim this course can be completed in 5 months with 15 hours study a week.
Is this a good deal or should I do it myself?
Many thanks

I need a laptop to run 2-4 VMs via virtualbox. My budget is under $700 since I hadn’t planned to purchase a laptop now. My current laptop has 8GB rams and won’t accommodate them.
LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US:

700 USD

• Are you open to refurbs/used?
  No
  
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life?
  

I would prioritize performance and durability, I want it to last since I’m purchasing out of necessity for more ram.

• How important is weight and thinness to you?

Not really

• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A.

15”+

• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run.
  VMs
  

I need to run at least 2-4 VMs. One windows 10, windows XP, and two Kali Linux

• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want?

I will use it just for study/work.

• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)?
  Enough RAM and processing power to get the job done and last for many years. I would love a backlit keyboard and cam shutter but not hard requirements.
  
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion.
  

Feel free to join our Discord server at: https://discordapp.com/invite/pes68JM for a faster response!

My wife recently had her 2nd C-section due to pregnancy complications, and was discharged several days later. On top of being exhausted, she was still in considerable pain since they cut through scar tissue from her first c-section.
On the day of her discharge, my job as her husband seemed clear enough: safely get her to our car with minimal hassle so we can finally go home! So after wheeling my wife to the front hospital entrance, I quickly run to get my car, pull up to the patient pickup area, and throw on my hazard lights.
To get to my wife, though, I have to cross the valet lane on foot. As I'm doing that, my focus is interrupted by a JARRING car horn coming from a gigantic SUV less than one foot from my body. I glance to my side to see this rich older Karen and her baboon looking son wildly gesticulating at me with disgusted looks on their faces to move my car. It was the classic "who farted??" look that entitled white Karens give when something doesn't go their way.
Except... their car was parallel to mine, which made her demand that much more confusing.

1. Why was she in the valet lane, when she wasn't planning to use the valet? (Answer: she got in the wrong lane)
   
2. Why not throw the car in reverse since there was nobody behind them and could easily rectify her mistake in less than 10 seconds?
   
3. If option 2 is seemingly too complicated, then why not drink a nice tall glass of stfu and wait for the ONE CAR in front of you to finish their business and move?
   

Nope. She chose Option #4, ie the one that requires the least amount of effort: hold down her horn until other people solve her problems.
Now I'm known for being calm and diplomatic in both private and professional settings — but this tweaked a nerve deep down that is especially reserved for entitled Boomers who have zero regard for your personal circumstances.
So I gave her a "what's your deal?" look and she rolls down her window. I then proceed to directly (and very loudly) explain my family's situation and how it connects to me temporarily leaving my car. And what is her response? She plays it off with a "Why are you so mad?!" with a little laugh, right out of the Tucker Carlson School of obnoxious gaslighting.
Ofc I'm exasperated at this point, and my wife is still waiting. However, luckily one of the hospital workers saw the whole thing and wheeled my wife to my car. As this is happening, the car in front of Karen moves (~2 minutes later) and she drives off. What made me feel somewhat better was the hospital worker walks up to me as we're loading up and goes "I have a lot to say about that lady but it might get me fired!"
Stupidity followed by entitlement, followed by gaslighting. Does it get any more Boomer than this?

NOTE: this Karen definitely was not there for some type of emergency because there's a separate hospital section for that. Likely she was leaving after picking up her son, or was there to visit someone.

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: Total Budget: ₹50,000 Country of purchase: India
• Are you open to refurbs/used? As long it doesn't lack too many new features.
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Performance, adequate cooling, build quality, battery life.
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Unimportant
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. Preferably >14". Willing to compromise.
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. I'd love to game. I will run Kdenlive, GIMP, Audacity and MuseScore Studio 4. I'll also need it for programming tasks related to my BCA coursework, which involves Java, C++, web development, mobile applications, and Python.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Minecraft and maybe GTA V at low to medium graphics and good FPS.
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? 16 GB RAM
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. This is what Linus Tech Tips said: "if performance is your top priority, you're probably going to want a gaming laptop. Generally speaking, they have the best cooling, they feature the fastest processors, and they're cheaper than equally powerful laptops that are marketed at professional creators." So, these are some options I have considered:
• MSI GF63 Thin
• Lenovo IdeaPad Gaming 3
• Lenovo ThinkPad E14

Hi. I got my hands on an official Guitar Hero Logitech microphone, but can't get it to work correctly, as the game keeps saying "You must use a microphone".
I'm on PC (Windows XP), and the microphone is perfectly detected by Windows as "Logitech USB Microphone".
I can start the game and pair both guitars (detected as "controller 2" and "controller 3" resp). I've read somewhere that the mic is only detected if the "controller 1" guitar is on, but I don't know if that's true, or how I could rename the guitars.
Any clue ?

hi! so i used winsetupfromusb to upgrade my xp computer from home edition sp1 to professional edition sp3 for more compatibility with games and stuffs, and upgrading went fine, but now i dont have my sound or video card drivers? my pc has them built in so i dont know how to find and download them separately, if it helps its an hp pavilion a350w

I know this is commonly posted, but I've tried every optimization I can find and while some seem to cause marginal improvement I cannot seem to fix this.
I have intermittent (but frequent, usually multiple times per hour and lasting a few minutes on average) spikes of 100% disk usage (as reported by Windows task manager) that completely lock up my VM. Usually when this happens actual disk usage is very low, often < 1MiB/s or even < 0.5MiB/s. It seems to correlate with multiple Windows processes using the disk but I've seen it happen with as few as three simultaneous processes or as many as eight. At other times the drive can achieve speeds of >200MiB/s without problems.
The physical device is a CT2000BX500SSD1 SSD drive. Nothing fancy, but it is a decent SSD and performs as expected on tests with the host. The drive is dedicated to my Windows VM and should not otherwise be used by the host.
I am using the virtio drivers and I have a pinned iothread. I've tried a few alternate configurations described on https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/PCI_passthrough_via_OVMF#Virtio_disk as well, along with an assortment of recommendations I've seen on reddit threads, forum posts, etc. What I have now is what works "best", but still not particularly well.
Please if anyone has had any similar issues or sees anything wrong with my configuration let me know.
My full libvirt configuration is below:

 win11 696ee705-7c0e-4449-b831-1a8adfc521bf      32800768 32800768     12 1                  hvm     /usshare/edk2/x64/OVMF_CODE.secboot.4m.fd /valib/libvirt/qemu/nvram/win11_VARS.fd                                   destroy restart destroy      /usbin/qemu-system-x86_64       
      
   
      
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    
   
   
   
      
       
                 
   
        
      
  
     
  
     
  
      

Hi! I'm in the market for a new set of headphones, and I have a lot of boxes I'd like to check, if possible. I'm not even sure where to start, so I came here.
What aspect of your current listening experience would you like to improve?
I've owned the Steelseries Arctis 7 Wireless for as long as they have been around. After several years of daily use, the ear cushions have ripped beyond repair. I loved the headphones and will never be able to go back to anything wired. Curious to see how far wireless/bluetooth technology has come, and if there are any good jack-of-all trades headsets out there for me to check out. I would love to be able to edit videos, play PC games, and listen to music from my iPhone with the same set of headphones. While I produce video content professionally, I am not a sound designer or audio technician, so I'm not too concerned about paying up to get premium sound quality.
Budget - ~$200 USD
Source/Amp - Wireless to Windows laptop and/or iPhone 13.
How the gear will be used - I create video content for my job, so video editing would be the primary use. I do like to game in my free time, so an integrated/detachable microphone is a plus. I don't take gaming that seriously, so the ability to hear footsteps from across the map isn't that important. I would also love to be able to use headphones at the gym by connecting to my phone, but not a dealbreaker.
Preferred tonal balance - Not too picky here. Balanced is probably my best bet.
Preferred music genre(s) - Everything except for heavy metal.
Past gear experience - Steelseries Arctis 7 Wireless. Loved the battery life, retractable microphone, volume dial and game/chat audio balance dial. The mute button was handy too. Such a reliable and durable headset that lasted me over five years with no technical issues. Didn't like how they sat on my head and how quiet they felt. I played all of my games on max volume (admittedly, I never messed with the Steelseries software so this maybe could have been fixed). Headphones were comfortable, but didn't feel secure. If I wanted to connect them to my iPhone, I needed to use the cable and a lightning dongle.
MUST HAVE:
Wireless or bluetooth capability for Windows 10, adequate sound quality for video editing and gaming, microphone (detachable or retractable... would like to wear these in public without looking like a pilot 😂)
BONUS:
Compatible with Windows 10 AND iOS, volume dial, game/chat audio balance dial, mute button, travel friendly
I understand if my criteria and/or budget is a little too restricting, so don't hesitate to let me know that. My knowledge of headphones is super limited, so I need all of the help I can get! Thank you so much!

Asgard 1827
The Trial of Asgard made national news in Valhalla . Brunhilde stood there in front of many gods, each vote determining her faith . Does she live or die ? Only odin can make that judgment. Heimdall opened a pamphlet speaking though his horn “ Brunhilde, eldest sister of the gods ! You stand accused of crimes against Humanity and Goding alike ! How do you plead ? “. Brunhilde rolled her eyes before speaking her mind . “How do I plead ? What crimes are you talking about ? I was making coffee before me and Randgriz were arrested on the spot “ she spoke out . “ Don't play dumb Brunhilde I saw you cast forbidden spells and illegal magic “ Odin told everyone. Despite the bold straight up lie hilde remained as calm as ever . Using magic and spells is more for Gondul and she is too smart to get caught. What did Odin really want and why is he dragging Randgriz of all demigods.“Nonsense ! My sister would never so such a ““SILENCE “ Odin shouted but Randgriz stood her ground ready to face death itself to protect Brunhilde. Meanwhile in another area. Loki used his blades to slice the doors open splitting them in half. Beelzebub was in the middle of an experiment his red eyes shooting at loki. “This better be good “ he whispered. “It is Brunhilde and Randgriz lives are a stake during the trial “ Loki spat out in a panicked state . “ Why should I care about some demigod's life when I don't even care about my own? “ Beel questioned. “It's because I know you hate Odin and would do anything to spite him how dare he label you as a freak when he is just as bad “ Loki answered “ Hurry we are running out of time ! “ . “What do you get out of this ? “ Beel stood up . “ I owe Brunhilde a favor “ A flashback of small Loki almost getting eaten by a giant snake until Brunhilde saved him by slicing it in half with a scythe
. “Be more careful child “ she turned around seeing the scared loki shiver .
The flash back ended with Brunhilde standing off to Odin . “Confess your crime or serve death “ A purple hue spear floated over him. “ I choose death, “ Brunhilde replied. “ Brun no ! “ Randgriz screamed buy it was too late . The spear launched at her body with such force blood she was pushed back to the wall. Brunhilde refused to give up despite all the pain seeping into her. “ This is the end of the road valkyrie…” Odin whispering. The last thing she saw was the gods demonic smile before everything faced to black.
“Is she alive ? “
“Wait “
“What if he killed her ? “
“Wait “
“ Is she dead ?”
“I will slap you “
“Yikes chill emo “
Brunhilde woke up in the lab with purple ,red and green eyes staring at her. “ What just happened…” Brunhilde felt a tight hug from Randgriz “ You are alive! “ Grizz cried out. “Yes …I am …” Brunhilde realized. “However at a price ….” Beel commented . “What did you do demon? “ Brunhilde hissed . “ Weird way of thanking someone for saving your life “ Beel brushed that comment off. The valkyrie gave him a weird look , “ Don't mention it I only did it to piss off Odin “ Beel shrugged. “Wait Mr Beel what “price “ are you talking about ? “ Grizz asked. “Oh well being a demigod you are more human then god now “ Loki jumped in stuttering at every word. “Meaning you can't fly , super strength and speed is gone, no more soul connection or anything that would make you a valkyrie “ Loki explained some more “ I had to do something to get Beel to save your life “. “ I'm not mad Loki “ Brunhilde took a deep breath “ This is just a sign that I need to leave asgard now …” Brunhilde stated . “I'm coming with you “ Randgriz sat next to her “ If I stay I'm dead Valkyrie walking “. “Plus it's no longer possible to survive here, however despite losing most of your powers there is still a place for you “ Beel mentioned “ Loki will take you “ . “Wait, what about our sisters ! “ Randgriz started to cry . Loki and Beelzebub looked at each other. “ We will figure that part out but remember if Odin catches wind they die too “ Loki pointed out . “Yes but faking our deaths still sounds horrible, “ Randgriz shook her head. “ Alright I'll do something you will see them again soon “ Beel told her “ Overall you both need to leave as soon as possible “ . “Follow me there is not much time “ Loki used his magic to make a portal . The scenery revealed a large Eiffel tower and people walking by . “ Once we step in there is no going back “ Randgriz shivered. “We don't have a choice “ Brunhilde stepped in holding Randgriz hand to help her . “Even if we never meet again Lord Loki, thank you for saving my life “ Brunhilde bowed down. “ No Brunhilde…thank you for saving mine “ Loki smiled, closing the portal. “So this is our new home “ Randgriz looked around seeing things that just aren't familiar anymore .
5 years later 1832
Late in the afternoon at the Salle Pleyel concert there was the sound of the piano . The fast paced music made everyone in the area cheer . The musician had blonde brown hair that passed his ears . He waved it back and forth like a rockstar smashing his keyboards so hard you would think he broke them. The crowd cheered his name “LISZT LISZT LISZT LISZT “ , fangirls jumped up and down going crazy over him . Brunhilde and Randgriz sat down in chairs watching the man go , “ His music is very rough and insane ..reminds me of home listening to vikings “ Brunhilde mentioned. “ I don't know who is making me more deaf the music or the annoying girls “ Randgriz covered her ears, “If it's too much for you then why did you bother coming? “ Brunhilde gave her a look. “ I don't wanna be alone “ Grizz admitted, “By the way ,..why are you wearing a suit “ Brunhilde wondered . “ The human women show too much window and well sister you don't show just the window the entire frame is gone leaving only thin fabric “ Randgriz gave her honest opinion. “ I don't need a lesson on modesty “ Brunhilde focused her attention on Liszt who kept playing . His piercing green eyes gave her a wink . “Was he winking at me ? “ Brunhilde turned to Randgriz. “Probably or at the other women fawning over him “ Grizz stated . “Yeah you're right “ Brunhilde relaxed some more “Not like I care he is a massive playboy breaking one heart after another I'm not going to fall for that plus I'm not a noble “. “You are right Hilde you aren't..you are a demigod , from our divine perspective human nobility is just fancy talk for commoner” Grizz whispered.
“ Randy shhhh we aren't in Valhalla anymore “ Brun reminded her , “ If looks could kill you would be a serial killer by now “ Randgriz laughed “ I mean I'm not wrong if an Archduke came to Valhalla and started bossing everyone he would be laughed at “. That comment made by a few folks behind her gave the sisters an irritated glare . “Shhh “ a man right next to Randgriz silenced her with his white glove .The concert ended leaving Liszt to step off the stage . He was quickly surrounded by fans causing Brunhilde to leave until she felt something hit her. Behind her was a red rose , she picked it up seeing the musician wave at her before being surrounded by more fans . “Come on Brunhilde let's go, I don't like parties “ Randgriz dragged her out towards the concert halls . “Oof I'm sorry “ she accidentally bumped into the same guy that sat next to him. He was a short guy with a big nose that spoke with a thick polish accident. “Sorry I'm looking for a man named Liszt “ he mentioned. “Down the hallway but you are going to have to wait in line “ Brunhilde pointed to the left before leaving . The man thanked her before walking in that direction, “He is very cute “ Randgriz thought. “Eh …okay let's go home “ she walked with Randgriz.
A few days later Brunhilde went back to the same concert alone this time to attend a mass . There she sat down reading the holy Bible while waiting for the preacher . “ Excuse me, is this seat taken? “ a familiar voice spoke to her . Brunhilde turned around, seeing the face once again. “Are you Franz Liszt ? “she asked while watching him sit down. “Yes “ Liszt confirmed sitting next to her “ Nice to meet you “ . “ Yeah I see ..” Brunhilde stuck her head back in the Bible. “Sorry if I was bothering you “ Liszt apologized getting ready to leave . “No you weren't, I just have a lot on my mind “ Brunhilde sighed. “Oh ..I hope the church can relax you ..lift those spirits up “ Liszt gave a warm smile. “Yeah” Brunhilde half smiled back , “So where are you from? I've never seen you around? “ he questioned. “Oh I'm from - “ Brunhilde tried to think of an answer. “Don't tell me your from heaven? “ Liszt answered "Wait how did you -”Brunhilde's face turned red from the blushing. “ “ Relax I was just kidding c Liszt chuckled . “Oh right …hahaha” Brunhilde joined the laughter

In modern cities, the medical rescue system is crucial for urban safety. Emergency centers command rescue operations, essential for saving lives. With the advancement of IoT technology, many cutting-edge technologies are gradually integrated into the medical emergency system, enabling ambulances to be networked, digitized, and intelligent. Thus, 5G smart ambulances emerge. 5G-enhanced ambulances look similar to regular ones in appearance. However, by integrating 5G networks into the vehicle, developers instantly endowed it with additional "superpowers".
https://preview.redd.it/1q3sbti4xh0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b9c2a877f14c1bb6addb5d8b4286b745c7433f9
For instance, 5G-enhanced ambulances can achieve synchronized transmission of multiple high-definition live videos, leveraging 5G's high bandwidth, low latency, and reliability. Based on this, it can synchronously return the medical images, patient signs, illness records and other information of emergency patients to the hospital emergency center without damage, which is convenient for the emergency center to grasp the patient's condition in advance and give professional guidance to the rescuers on the bus.
Forlinx's 5G Smart Gateway FCU2303 provides reliable support for medical ambulance.
https://preview.redd.it/dnrtu3j5xh0d1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=f4eabd6094b58d14a250cc48978b478af53f3258

Rapid transmission of information

Bridge the gap for medical device information transmission.
Modern ambulances are equipped with advanced medical equipment such as electrocardiogram monitors, ventilators, and defibrillators to enhance rescue efficiency. Various types of diagnostic and therapeutic equipment can efficiently transmit physiological data to the Hospital Information System (HIS) through the multiple Ethernet ports, serial ports, and DI/DO of the FCU2303 industrial-grade smart gateway. This meets the data collection and transmission requirements of ambulances.
https://preview.redd.it/33bzmqc6xh0d1.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=25272f2193b6653cd579a3aa0fb819190dfaa279

Enabling high-definition audio and video consultations

Medical imaging equipment such as cameras, microphones, displays, and ultrasound machines are deployed on the ambulance. Through the FCU2303 industrial-grade smart gateway, information is transmitted, providing real-time, lossless transmission of audio-visual images from the ambulance to the hospital emergency center. This setup offers a high-bandwidth, low-latency, and highly connected secure network, meeting the remote video consultation needs of the ambulance. It aims to secure more time for patients by implementing a rapid rescue and treatment mode where patients essentially “Be in the hospital” upon boarding the ambulance.
https://preview.redd.it/j5sqm0i7xh0d1.png?width=1239&format=png&auto=webp&s=d15f3622249b85b176955ab7cfd9d713e91fc195

Enabling reliable integration of multiple technologies

• FCU2303 Smart Gateway, designed based on the NXP LS1046A processor, features a quad-core CPU with a high clock frequency of 1.8GHz. With a fanless design, it ensures stable operation of medical rescue systems for extended periods in environments ranging from -40°C to +85°C;
• It supports 5G and 4G modules, which can be easily switched with a single DIP switch. It provides users with high bandwidth, low latency, and large connectivity services. It also supports dual-band Wi-Fi, enabling both STA and AP modes;
• FCU2303 supports expandable device storage with PCIe 3.0 high-speed interface, enabling support for solid-state drives (SSDs) using the NVMe protocol (M.2 interface). This meets the requirements for small size, large capacity, and fast speed;
• It comes standard with 8 x Gigabit Ethernet ports (flexible configuration of 2/4/6/8 ports, all with independent MAC addresses), 4 RS485 ports, 4 RS485/RS232 multiplexing interfaces, 2 DI (Digital Input), 2 DO (Digital Output), and 1 USB HOST 3.0 port. This ensures the connectivity of various medical devices, enabling full vehicle networking for ambulances;
• The software integrates a variety of third-party components including Samba, Lighttpd, Docker, IPSEC, OpenSSL, and Python 3 or higher versions. It supports protocols such as TCP/IP, UDP, DHCP, TFTP, FTP, Telnet, SSH, Web, HTTP, IPtables, and provides an open system API for easy user customization and development.

https://preview.redd.it/z072qu88xh0d1.png?width=1043&format=png&auto=webp&s=d959dea6d7a91a1f76659e3152f7955184aae682
In the future, smart ambulances based on 5G technology will undoubtedly provide better full-process services for patients, including pre-diagnosis, during diagnosis, and post-diagnosis.
Forlinx Embedded FCU2303 Smart Gateway, which supports the 5G smart ambulance system, fully leverages the leading advantages of 5G technology, including high bandwidth, low latency, and large connectivity. It will undoubtedly effectively and efficiently guarantee the transmission of information for various medical devices. This will assist medical emergency centers in further improving the efficiency and service level of emergency rescue work, enhancing service quality, optimizing service processes and modes, and winning time for rescuing patients’ lives, thereby better-safeguarding health and life.
Originally published at www.forlinx.net.

Timestamp:https://imgur.com/a/6KgDIgJ
Inspect pics closely for condition. Serials in detail pics.
13.7” Daniel Defense chrome lined barrel under a Geissele Mk8 13” handguard. Round count <400. Barrel has been professionally chopped, pinned, and welded with a SOLGW Keymo muzzle device to meet 16”. Asking $700 shipped with DD front sight, minus $50 if you don’t want the Daniel Defense front sight. https://imgur.com/a/0zsTYDC
11.5” Centurion CHF FBI barrel. Round count <150, not even broken in yet. Includes centurion noticed/pinned gas block/tube. Asking $320 shipped.
Primary Arms SLX 3X microprism. 5.56 red illuminated reticle. Includes Midwest Industries QD mount and box with standard contents. Asking $300 shipped https://imgur.com/a/QBeESMN
Trijicon TA-31F ACOG, Red chevron reticle. Type 1 RM01 3.25 MOA LED RMR and ACOG/RMR adapter mount. Tritium visible but dim. Includes GDI QD mount. Asking $1150 shipped. https://imgur.com/a/bCeCOok
Larue Stealth 16” .223 Wylde. Fired <400 rounds. Shoots FGMM and BH exceptional. I just am swapping some builds over to 6arc. Includes LT202 gas block and tube. Asking $350 shipped.
Ballistic Advantage 14.5” .223 Wylde. SPR stainless fluted Midlength premium series. Fired <200 rounds. Shoots fine I just don’t use it enough to hold onto it. Asking $125 shipped. Can include nondescript .750 gas block and installed Midlength tube for $20 more.
Leupold Mark 5 IMS mount 35mm. Asking $125 shipped.
Sig Alpha 2 30mm mount. $50
Warne 1” cantilever 20 MOA mount. Asking $60.
Trades: 11.5” Criterion barrel, 34mm DDC extended-length mount. Higher end 6 arc barrel (Proof stainless 14.5” ideally, but open to others), ODG/DDC anodized handguards and uppers, G$ or Aero equivalent preferred.

Weekly Blog 4
The Anchors: Tools For the Storm
Whats up guys! We’re back this week and diving into a concept that's become the fundamental base of my approach to life's challenges. This week I introduce to you the anchors. Whether you're navigating personal growth or undergoing transformative therapies, these principles can be a powerful guide. So let’s explore these anchors and mantras that can stabilize us in the turbulent skies of our experience.

1. Breathe: The Foundational Anchor

The breath is our greatest anchor. When we are consciously breathing, we are consciously living. This week, I want to introduce you to two techniques that I find incredibly grounding and have been vital along my healing journey. The first is the "Box Breath" method: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds. The second method, my personal favorite which I often use during deeper sessions, is the "4,7,8" technique—inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly through the mouth for 8 seconds. This longer exhale helps slow the heart rate, calming the mind and pulling us out of the fight-or-flight response. Remember to recite mantra such as, "I am safe, I am present."

1. Trust: Believing in the Journey

Next, let’s talk about trust. There is an invitation to trust in the process of life, that everything is unfolding not just around you, but for you. It's a conscious choice to perceive obstacles as opportunities to strengthen and evolve our character. But most of all, trust in yourself. After all, you've navigated through life to this point, so you must be doing something right! An example of a mantra I would use would be: "I trust myself and the experience. I trust the journey." This mantra isn’t just a statement, it's a commitment to self belief through every twist, turn and obstacle of life.

1. Let Go: The Art of Surrender

I know you know the popular saying: What we resist persists. It’s a saying as old as time, but it holds a truth that can’t be overlooked. Sometimes, the best action is to surrender to what is beyond our control. Focus on what you can manage: your actions, your responses, your mindset. Imagine you’re driving: you control the steering wheel, the gas, and the brakes, but not the road itself. So why not turn up the music, roll down the windows, and enjoy the ride.. My mantra here would sound as simple as: "I am letting go.” Or, “I am giving myself permission to let go." This mantra is about embracing the flow of life, and the energy of letting go will then allow you to….

1. Be Open: Embrace Vulnerability

Finally, once we've learned to let go, there lies the opportunity to be open and vulnerable. This is no easy task, but it is where true strength lies. Many of us encounter fear in the idea vulnerability. However, it allows us to face the challenges of life head on, whether it's dealing with a hurt child within us, past trauma, or fears of abandonment. By facing these openly, we can begin the healing process similar to stitching a wound. This will require grace, patience, and determination. So I will leave you with this: Both faith and fear require you to believe in something you cannot see. The choice is yours.
I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read this today. These anchors are not just tools, but companions through our journey of self discovery and healing. I hope you are all having a beautiful week and I look forward to seeing you next week more wisdom and helpful tips I’ve learned along my journey as a student and guide. So until next time remember to breathe, trust, let go, and be open.
Disclaimer: This post is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The use of ketamine troches should be guided by a healthcare professional. The insights shared here should not replace your provider's instructions. Consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your treatment approach.

What happened:
So, the other day, (Sunday), Chome was being really slow and laggy, so I closed a few tabs until there were only one or two tabs open. That didn't fix the lag, so I closed Chrome and restarted my laptop (Windows 11, if relevant).
When I opened it back up, it obviously updated, because the 'new update available' icon wasn't visible in the top right anymore (I hadn't closed chrome for a while at that point, so it never updated until then).
However, I quickly noticed that the background I use wasn't loading, and my shortcuts were replaced by websites I requently visit or just recently visited. The middle search bar was also missing. This weirded me out, so i typed a few discriptors into the top search bar to see if it had anything to do with a new update or something.
When the results came up, they were on yahoo! and not google. This caused me to immediately panic, because I had just installed Bluestacks on my laptop (which, as far as I know, has a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to being safe, at least on Reddit), and I have had the unfortunate experience of having downloaded a trojan and a browser hijacker on my pc before (different device, in case you're wondering).
I then noticed the yahoo! icon to the left of the top search bar. My immediate thoughts were that it was a browser hijacker that came or was introduced by installing Bluestacks. I immediately deleted everything Bluestacks (all the .exes, folders, everything that came with it), or at least everything I could find that was related to it. I deleted it permanently, and removed the program from control panel. There was a file or two that I needed to look up in order to delete, but it's gone now.
After doing a bit of searching on Microsoft Bing (I have it on my computer and I didn't feel safe using Chrome/Yahoo!) I restored my Chrome to default settings and it seemed to remove the yahoo thing (and my background, but I wan't that upset about it because it was one of the ones in the google collection thing) and my shortcuts turned back to normal. Basically, everything at this point turned back to normal.
Afterwards:
I then started to do a little bit more digging to find if there was anything about this effect/bug/thing. I found the thing in chrome that allows you to change search engines. When I toggled it to yahoo! the icon on the top search bar thing was replicated, but it just showed the default yahoo! screen instead of the bugged screen I saw prior to defaulting my settings.
I noted that the yahoo thing didn't mess with incognito (I tested it, while I didn't search anything on incognito when the bug occured, the icon thing in the top search bar wasn't there). I also had my school account as a Chrome profile for easier access while doing school homework. I opened that up, and it seemed to be normal.
To be clear, all of the above paragraph occured during the bug, prior to the reset.^^^
I messed a bit with the other search engines to see if I could replicate the bugged screen. While on my regular account it seemed to bring me to the default page of the search engine (yahoo, yandex, etc.), on my school account (where many things are blocked, three of the search engines were blocked but that doesn't matter that much to me), and I managed to get something close to the bugged screen with yandex *(first image I included in this post).
Yesterday, I managed to find a reddit post that included an image of a screen that looked almost completely identical to what my bugged screen looked like, except it was red (which I assume had something to do with their theme, and not any bug).
The post: https://www.reddit.com/chrome/comments/vxih28/chrome_browser_crashed_and_now_it_looks_like_this/
What I need help with:
As this incident freaked me out a bit, I want to know what caused it and if it is still on my computer and will reoccur or something, or if it was a one-off bug. Obviously I'm not a professional or anything, and I just wanted to see if anyone on this reddit knew what this was and if I should be concerned or not.
My take:
After a bit of investigation after the incident, I got mostly that it was one of three possibilities.
Firstly, that it was a bug caused by new updates (again, hadn't updated Chrome for a period of time before this incident), and not anything malicious.
Secondly, it was caused by me downloading Bluestacks, causing malware to fiddle its way into my computer. I scanned it (my computer) with Windows Defender and Malwarebytes Premium Trial, and nothing came up. I also uninstalled Bluestacks quickly after I discovered this problem (not saying that this wasn't the case, but just stating measures I took that could affect the probability of this being the problem.
Thirdly, it was an extension. Okay, there are kinda two possibilities here too, but one is far more likely than the other.
First, the less likely possibility, there is some sort of malicious extension on my chrome browser that caused the issue. However, I don't have any extensions that may be malicious: Malwarebytes, Kindle, Return Youtube Dislke (which I deleted after this incident), Google Docs Offline, uBlock Origin, and Mcafee WebAdvisor (which is my next point).
Second, the more likely possibility, is that it was Mcafee changing my browser. I've only heard about it on reddit posts, but apparently it was a larger(?) problem 2 years ago? I haven't seen any image of this to know what it looks life to be sure but it is a possibility that it was Mcafee WebAdvisor that caused this problem (which I'm okay with, if this was because of Mcafee- cause it's not going to harm me like a virus would).
~~~
If anyone could help me out, I would very appreciate it. I apologize for the long (essay) post, but I wanted to make as many details as clear as possible. If you know anywhere that this post could also be posted to, and that you believe I would get a better or more accurate answer, please inform me.

Hey everyone, If you're in the market for a photo printer, here are some of the best options available in 2024. These recommendations are based on user reviews on different subreddits and the features they offer. Each printers has its strengths and weaknesses, so the best choice depends on your specific needs, such as print size, frequency, and budget.
(Tip: If you're a professional photographer, the Canon PIXMA PRO-200 or Epson SureColor P700 might be the best fit. For those looking for cost-efficient and high-quality prints, the Epson EcoTank Photo ET-8550 is an excellent option.)

Best Photo Printer:

1. Canon PIXMA PRO-200
2. Epson EcoTank Photo ET-8550
3. Epson SureColor P700
4. Canon SELPHY CP1300
5. HP Envy Inspire 7955e
6. Epson Expression Photo HD XP-15000

Canon PIXMA PRO-200:

The Canon PIXMA PRO-200 is a great choice for photographers who want stunning color prints. It uses eight different inks to make colors pop and can handle big prints up to 13" x 19". It's fast, easy to use, and fits well in small spaces.
Features:

• It offers Wi-Fi, Ethernet, and USB connectivity, and is both lightweight and compact.

Epson EcoTank Photo ET-8550:

The Epson EcoTank Photo ET-8550 is an all-in-one printer that's perfect for saving money on ink. Instead of cartridges, it uses refillable tanks that last a long time. It prints beautiful photos up to 13" x 19" and is great for both color and black-and-white images. Plus, it's wireless, so you can print from anywhere.
Features:

• Equipped with Wi-Fi, Ethernet, USB, and a built-in scanner.

Epson SureColor P700:

The Epson SureColor P700 is made for serious photographers who want the best quality. It uses ten different inks for amazing detail and color accuracy. It handles a variety of paper types up to 13" wide, including art paper and canvas. It's compact and easy to use, with lots of ways to connect.
Features:

• It includes Wi-Fi, Ethernet, USB, and a 4.3-inch touchscreen.

Canon SELPHY CP1300:

The Canon SELPHY CP1300 is a small, portable photo printer that's perfect for quick, high-quality prints. It uses dye-sublimation technology for vibrant, long-lasting photos. You can print from your phone, computer, or memory card, making it great for events and parties. Produces good quality 4" x 6" prints and is portable and easy to use.
Features:

• Features Wi-Fi and allows direct printing from USB and SD cards.

HP Envy Inspire 7955e:

The HP Envy Inspire 7955e is a versatile printer for home and office use. It prints great photos and documents and can scan and copy too. It's wireless and works with the HP Smart app, making printing from your phone or tablet super easy. Provides good print quality for photos and is versatile with all-in-one functionality.
Features:

• Includes Wi-Fi, USB, automatic two-sided printing, and a separate photo tray.

Epson Expression Photo HD XP-15000:

The Epson Expression Photo HD XP-15000 is ideal for big, beautiful photo prints. It uses six inks for rich colors and can print borderless photos up to 13" x 19". It's compact, wireless, and easy to use, making it perfect for photographers and artists working from home. High print quality with Claria Photo HD inks, supporting wide-format prints.
Features:

• Offers Wi-Fi, Ethernet, USB, and auto-duplex printing.

Latest info i had on Arc for windows was that windows 10 support would come later down the line. Now i read a comment on reddit saying there will be no windows 10 at all. What is the reality?
Meanwhile latest data shows windows 11 market sharet reduced (from earlier 28% to now 26%) and windows 10 market share increased, from 67% to 70%...

• Windows 11 market share declines as users seemingly shift back to Windows 10 Tom's Hardware (tomshardware.com)
• Windows 10 still has more than double the market share of Windows 11, and that doesn't look like it will change any time soon Windows Central

I have a newly built powerhouse modern PC (beefy for gaming etc) but because it lacks that newly required TPM component i cant even install windows 11- and every other news i see from windows 11 makes me not want to ever shift frankly... and despite microsfot anouncements and push for windows 11 turns out microsoft is literally selling windows 10 pcs (apparently more then windows 11)... as if their sales department is following the actual demand while PR and the win11 team pushes a different narrative.
I was really really hyped when i first saw Arc years ago... but then it was Mac only with invite only, with huge waitlist then i waited a very long time on a waitlist for the windows beta (and not being picked from the waitlist until near its end)... and all that for a very early windows version and windows 11 only (why? waaay too many modern apps install on both win10-11 just fine)....
Frankly, just being sincere and pouring my feelings out here - i went from absolutely hyped fanboy to severely disapointed with Arc- and heck i couldnt even get hands on with it. Looking back my feelings toward Arc more akin to cult-like like Tesla/Elon-musk cybertruck owners. Watched and praised every video and update on features, been on some discussions and even defending some of the teams choices with direction and future plans.
But i cant wrap my head around this choice. I cant defend it. I cant even understand it... Some user got Arc working on windows 10 by just bypassing the setup check/requirment, literally lying to the setup it had win11 installed and... it installed, and worked. Only reason i hadnt tried that is because it was too cumbersome for something i was hoping would be coming around anyway- also because i wouldnt be able to give proper feedback and bug reporting that way, i like being useful with beta tests...
But apparently it wont ever come? I dont get it. Just past month i installed like 3 different newly released native apps for windows that have a single installer and setup to win10 and 11 seamlessly. Microsoft for all its terrible flaws and despite their latest baffling decision with tpm/win11 have a decades long history of back compatibility and so on- i can install some win98/Xp apps, turn on compatibility mode and just run then... for windows 10-11 we havent even reached that point yet.
Ive literally havent seen any app that works on windows 11 only or requirement reasons for doing so.. nothing except the setup for Arc windows beta.
This is probably the last topic/discussion i get on about Arc, unless that changes, or idk, if im really forced to get windows 11 (and able to) or the next one. In any case the hype deflated, the very idea of Arc soured a bit for me. Why are we like that with hype expectations and such even in a case like this where an app/service makes itself unreacheable?
Anyway sorry for the rant, i just felt like i had to mention it somewhere. I wasnt frustrated with microsoft decisions with windows 11, just ignoring it, but i wasnt expecting Arc would go this way - finally 'coming to windows' but in a way it managed to still keep me out of the door. I cant afford a mac (not in my country), i cant install windows 11...
Who knows, maybe in a few years i guess? Win12, hopefully without tpm, or whenever i buy/build another machine? Anyway i was holding on changing from my current browser(wich im disapointed with) for Arc, i will just have to make the jump to some other browser for the time being and be done with the subject