I recently tried offing myself because of school stress and my girlfriend breaking up with me and was stopped by my older brother and best friend of 6-7 years my cash app is $jonyboy556 for anyone who wants to show their support
Hello I’m (anonymous) I’m 15yo M and on may 14th 2024 i attempted suicide and was stopped by my older brother (anonymous) and my best friend (anonymous), I wanted to do it because of all the pent up stress and my girlfriend had just left me that morning. I concluded in my own mind that it would be better for everyone if I was dead, sure they would miss me for a while but everyone else would go on living and contributing to society. I felt sure that I contributed little to nothing to society. I decided that if I could write 15 reasons I would do it if I couldn’t I wouldn’t and I easily came up with 15 good reasons. After I had constructed my note of 15 reasons, and thanks to my few friends who had always been there and family members who were a key part in my life, I went to my room grabbed the 22 cal. Rifle and the magazine that went to it which had about 4 or 5 rounds of ammunition contained within it I walked as far into the woods as I could while still staying invisible to the road. As I sat between two trees I sat the note at my feet hugging the gun like a family member unseen in years. I contemplated life for about 3 minutes when I called my best friend and said my goodbyes without saying them. I then called the girl I broke up with and had roughly a 1-2 min conversation with her and she told me “well just call me if you feel like doing anything” in which I responded “I just did” I don’t know if she herd me, then told her goodbye and hung up. As I held the gun in my mouth about to pull the trigger my phone was being called by my best friend and I answered, he asked me why I was in the woods on life 360 which is a family location sharing app. I responded “why wouldn’t I be” he responded with silence “…” I then said “I’m sorry (anonymous) I just can’t anymore” not knowing he had already contacted my mom which was spamming my phone the whole time. Telling her a short but obvious message “please stop him” and without my knowledge my brother had been walking throughout the yard looking for me apparently he noticed almost immediately that I was gone. After some point in talking to Markez I started crying, not long after my brother saw me sitting between the two trees and Yelled my name And ran to me as fast as he could, he then took the gun from me and hugged me and said “I know it’s hard I’ve been here before don’t do it i doesn’t have to come to that” I responded with the only thing I could sobbing and saying “I’m sorry” over and over again while clutching him tightly, he took the gun and threw it to the side and continued hugging me after about a minute he got up grabbing the gun and said “I’ve already lost to of my really good friends to suicide this year, please don’t make me lose you too” I responded again with “I’m sorry” while crying still. he told me that he wouldn’t read the note and to just ball it up and told me to take as much time as I needed outside. After he was done talking he walked with the gun to the house. After about 10 minutes outside my parents arrived home and my mom and dad comforted me and told me I should never do that. It’s been 2 days since then and it’s still the only thing I think about, I feel bad for my brother I can only wonder what went through his mind. I wonder what if my best friend hadn’t stalled me how my brother would have found me and how that would have affected him and his life. Would he have blamed himself? would he have used that same gun to suffer the same fate? If he wouldn’t have how would it change his life? And how would my parents react? I can only thank god for everyone at the same time trying to stop me, I had prayed for forgiveness before I was about to do it and u apologized to him. My lord had to have heard my cries and saved me without me even having to ask. I thank my brother, and my best friend as-well my brother most because he noticed almost immediately and took action, stopping what was almost inevitable.

As the last orange light of day drained from the sky, the living dead in Club Vlad rose. Max the skeleton and Jessie the…not skeleton…sewed up the gaping Y-shaped incision on Dom’s chest under Merrick’s direct supervision. Dom sat there, feeling nothing, thinking nothing. He’d woken with a headache and a feeling of cold, and even now, he could feel the dull throb above his left eye. It felt like someone was tearing his brain apart with a fork. He had told Merrick, and Merrick had nodded sadly. “Is my brain rotting?”
“Most likely,” Merrick had said.
There was a certain peace in the idea of losing his cursed humanity. As Merrick had said, he would feel no pain, know no quandaries. He would live only for the night and for his master. On the other hand, watching someone like Matt sit and stare into the distance, drool coursing down his chin and nothing happening behind his dead eyes, scared Dom. He didn’t want to be a braindead idiot. He didn’t care about keeping his emotions, he just wanted to function.
Like Merrick.
There wasn’t much he could do, however. He was dead and that was the end of it.
Once Dom was patched up and dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, Merrick called his children before him. “I have done my best to love and protect all of you,” he began. “Jessie, you were miserable with your grandmother, were you not?”
“Yes,” Jessie said tonelessly.
“You were depressed, bipolar, and cut yourself. Now you’re happy.”
“Yes,” she replied again.
“Joe, you were a two bit nobody staring down a ten year stretch in jail.”
“Yes.” Thin yellow liquid dripped from his nose.
“But now you are free.”
“Yes.”
“You appreciate what I’ve done for you.”
“Yes.”
Merrick flashed then, slamming his fist onto the arm of his wheelchair. “Then why do you keep fucking up? The police were here earlier. They have messages between you and Jessie. I told both of you to delete those. Then I find out that you bit someone and turned them despite my orders. We have an endless supply of blood here but you still went off on your own. How many are there?”
“Just one,” Joe said.
“Are you being honest with me?”
“Yes.”
Merrick sagged back in his chair, looking somehow older. “Joe, take Matt and go to her. Bring her back here before she causes any more problems. God alone knows how many people she’s changed. Too many vampires without a father will bring heat on us, and you know what happens in that case? We get pieces of wood shoved in our chests.”
Turning to Dom, Merrick said, “I have a job for you and Jessie. We’re nearly out of embalming fluid. You haven’t had your first dose and the rest of us are starting to get ripe as well. I have a contact at a funeral home. He texted earlier that the order he placed on my behalf has come in. I want you to pick it up and to pay him.”
Dom had never been picked for anything in his whole life. No one had ever wanted him on their team and no one had ever placed their trust in him the way Merrick was now. He was honored, proud, and would do anything to not let Merrick down.
“That cop who came here might be a problem,” Merrick went on. “We may have to deal with him, but we’ll leave that for another night. In any case, I want this place cleaned from top to bottom. If the police come, I want them to see nothing out of the ordinary.”
Now that everyone had their marching orders, they dispersed. Merrick handed Dom an evelope stuffed with cash, and Dom slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie. The other team - Joe and Matt - left, while the remaining vampires began tidying up.
A fleet of vehicles waited in the parking lot behind Club Vlad. Dom and Jessie took a black pedo van with no back windows. They drove in silence, the radio off. Dom did not want to hear music, nor did he wish to speak to Jessie. Their kinship was one of blood and circumstance, not one of words and emotions. He had no questions for her and wished to answer none of his own. The only thoughts he had were of the mission ahead and of the growing pain in his skull. He thought of the staring stupid Matt, of the decayed Max, and a shiver went down his spine.
What was left of his humanity recoiled at the idea of becoming like them.
The pain grew hotter, more intense. He forced it away and focused on driving.
The funeral home was on North Allen Street, next to a restaurant called Pepperjack’s. A tall, white house with dark shutters and a sign out front, it looked like a quiet, peaceful place. “Pull around back,” Jessie said.
Dom pulled the van around back and parked under a balcony, killing the headlights. They got out and went to the back door, Jessie in the lead. He assumed that she had done this before and that the seller would recognize her. She knocked, and a few moments later, the door opened. A youngish man with a shaved head appeared, wearing an apron and gloves. He saw them and tensed a little. Dom could smell, rather than sense, his fear, and his throat panged with thirst. “Come on,” the man said quickly. He stepped aside and allowed them to enter. Dom noticed that he walked behind them, wary of putting his back to them. “Do you have the money?”
“Do you have our order?” Jessie countered.
“Yes,” the man said, “I’m really risking my neck for this. They don’t just give embalming fluid away, you know. They keep track of it and if they realize I’m over ordering, someone from the state’s going to come down here and check.”
He led them into an embalming room. Three boxes sat on a table. Dom gave the man his money, and he and Jessie carried the boxes outside, loading them into the van. The whole time they were there, the man was edgy, like he was afraid they were going to attack him. Dom would be a liar if he said that the hot smell of the man’s blood didn’t excite him. Perhaps once his brain rotted away, he wouldn’t be able to control himself, but for now, he could.
A lightning bolt of pain shot through his head and he nearly dropped the last box onto the ground.
Once the man was paid, Dom and Jessie drove back to Club Vlad. In fifteen minutes, they were drinking side by side from two passed out partygoers, their reward for a job well done.
Meanwhile, across the city, Joe and Matt weren’t doing as well. They were standing outside of Heather’s apartment. Joe, slightly annoyed (anger being another emotion vampires could feel, along with fear) pounded on the door. He knew she was in there; he could smell the putrid odor of decay. “Let us in,” he said. “We won’t hurt you.”
Joe could barely remember changing her. He didn’t mean to, it just…happened. Like an unwanted pregnancy. You can bite someone as much as you want and drink as much as you want, but if you take too much at once and they die, you get the vampire equivalent of a baby. Joe liked the hunt. It was exciting. Having his meals brought to him Club Vlad didn’t arouse the same level of excitement. It was like shooting an animal tied to a tree. Or hiring a prostitute instead of wooing someone. No real satisfaction to it.
That was probably his greatest downfall. He had lured Jessie the same way, though Merrick was indeed interested in rescuing her from her grandmother. People you have saved obey just as well as people with no brains.
He felt fluid on his upper lip and sniffed. “Come on, let us in,” he said.
No response.
He looked at Matt and nodded to the door. Together, they rammed their shoulders against it. It shook in its frame. They were both dead and weak, but modern American architecture is even weaker, and the door eventually slammed open. The apartment beyond was dark, messy, and reeked of death. They searched high and low, and eventually found Heather huddled in a corner, trying to hide. She was naked save for a pair of panties, her body bloated and beginning to turn black. Her skin hung from her frame and her eyes were filled with blood and fear. It was a wonder no one had called the police yet. The smell was overpowering. “We’re here to help,” he said. “You have to come with us.”
She shook her head and trembled. Maybe she remembered that he was the one who did this to her. Maybe her memories had rotted away. Those were usually the first to go. Then your emotions, then your personality. Finally, your capacity for higher reasoning. “I’m sorry I did this to you,” he said. That was a lie. He was not remorseful. Nor was he proud, for that matter. It just happened. Like rain. “But I want to help you. We can fix you.”
No amount of coaxing or conjoling could induce her to move. Joe weighed his options. He doubted anyone would call the cops even if they heard the door coming down - people who lived in places like this rarely called the cops, which helped Joe and his cause immensely. Even so, there was the possibility. Every minute they spent here was a minute that something could go wrong, and Joe had a lot to lose.
So, too, did Merrick.
Giving up, Joe took out his cellphone and called Merrick. “She refuses to come,” he said simply.
The line was quiet for a moment, then Merrick’s voice came back. Cold. Calculating. “Then do what you must.”
That was the go ahead.
Hanging up, Joe looked around the apartment and found a wooden chair in the kitchen. He lifted it over his head and slammed it on the counter, shattering it into a million pieces. He selected the longest, sharpest, and sturdiest looking one. He went back into the room and directed Matt to hold her down. She fought, kicked, and spat, but she was weaker than even they were. They had been embalmed. She hadn’t.
Matt pinned her hands above her head and Joe straddled her. Animal terror filled her eyes and she whipped her head from side to side. Joe lifted the makeshift stake with both hands, and brought it down as hard as he could, driving it deep into her heart. Her eyes bulged from their sockets and a high, otherworldly scream ripped from her throat. She bucked, thrashed, and kicked her feet. Her resistance began to ebb away until she was twitching…until she was still.
Heather from OKCupid was dead.
Truly dead.
Joe couldn’t help wondering what it was like.
Pulling the stake out, he tossed it aside and got to his feet, Matt doing likewise. A soul petrifying scream might be cause for even the tightest of lips to start talking. “Let’s go,” he said. And together, he and Matt fled, leaving the poor, dead body of Heather behind.
***
As it turned out, one of Heather’s neighbors did call the cops. At 10;13pm, Vanessa Rodregiez arrived with two patrolmen and found the front door of Apartment 237 knocked down. Guns drawn, they entered, Vanessa at the head. The first thing she noticed was the smell. It jammed itself into her nostrils, shoved its tongue down her throat, and violated her - all without even buying her dinner first.
Vanessa hadn’t been at this as long as her buddy Bruce had, but she knew a dead, rotting body when she smelled one. They searched the premises, and sure enough, they found a vic in the bedroom, lying in the gap between the bed and the wall; it looked like the former had been moved, perhaps in a struggle. Vanessa knelt down to check the vic’s pulse, but stopped.
There was no need.
The vic - who looked like a female but could have been an overweight male - hadn’t had a pulse in a very long time.
Examining the body, Vanessa found a wound in the chest, just above the heart. Black, stinking goo leaked from it, and Vanessa gagged. She fisted her hand to her mouth, retched, and then ran for the kitchen sink. Her partner for the night, Jim Walsh, stared down at the stiff before him, and his face turned a sickly shade of green. He avoided puking because he didn’t nose fuck the wound like Vanessa had, but he wasted no time in getting out there, dry heaving in the hallway where the air was somewhat fresh.
After leaving her lunch in the sink, Vanessa radioed back to headquarters, and before long, the place was crawling with cops. The assistant medical examiner - who had taken over after Ed Harris quit the previous night - knelt over the body and studied it. A solidly built black man with a mustache, his name was Leon and he knew death just as well as his old boss, so when he said the vic had been dead nearly two weeks, Vanessa accepted it.
That begged the question: Who broke in and screamed just now? A relative? The caller clearly heard screaming and peeked out her door to see two males fleeing on foot. Maybe they found the vic and freaked out? Or maybe they were the killers returning to the scene of the crime. After all, the vic had clearly been murdered.
In fact, they found a likely murder weapon. A long sliver of wood soaked in black goo. Blood turns black after a while, but there was something different about this stuff. “What is it?” Vanessa asked Leon.
“I’m not sure,” Leon said and pulled off a pair of Latex gloves he’d donned to examine the vic, “could be blood or…”
“Or what?” Vanessa asked.
“Or something,” Leon said. “Give me a few hours.”
And a few hours it was. Just before 1am, Leon called Vanessa at her desk. “I think you should come down here,” he said.
Fifteen minutes later, Vanessa stood over Leon as he pulled the vic’s chest open with a pair of tweezers. “That’s the heart,” he said, “whoever stabbed her scored a direct hit, but this…this is what concerns me.”
He prodded a furry lump with the tip of his scalpel.
“What is it?” Vanessa asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, “it looks like mold.”
That word - mold - triggered a memory in her brain. “Ed said something about mold last night. He found it in -”
“The Mason boy,” Leon finished.
“Yeah. The one who got up and ran off.”
Leon turned away from Vanessa and looked at the dead woman - for it was a woman. Vanessa got the impression that he didn’t want her to see his expression. “I’ve known Ed ten years. I know something happened last night, but a stiff getting up and walking off? I thought he was confused. Now…I don’t know. That makes two bodies in 24 hours. And get this. The chest wound? It was done post-mortem. I can’t find a cause of death anywhere. Except maybe blood loss but it’s hard to tell at this point. And speaking of blood…”
“What?” Vanessa asked quickly.
“When I opened her stomach up, a whole shit load of blood spilled out. And a lot of it was a lot fresher than she is.”
Vanessa furrowed her brow in confusion. “You mean…?”
“It’s not hers,” Leon said. “I can’t be 100 percent sure until I run tests, but I’d put money on it.”
Vanessa’s head spun with information both new and old. You know that full, heavy feeling you get when a poo is brewing in your guts? That’s kind of what Vanessa was feeling, only in her head instead of her stomach.
Leon was just as mystified by the whole thing as she was and stayed up late to run a few preliminary tests. By sunrise, he had confirmed that the blood inside of Heather’s stomach was not hers. In fact, it had come from at least three different sources. “Is it human?” Vanessa asked over the phone.
“Yes,” Leon said, sounding troubled, “it’s human.”
In the cobalt hour before sunrise, Vanessa sat at her desk and tried to piece this whole thing together. They had:

1. A corpse that (allegedly) woke up and dipped out
2. A dead girl who’d been stabbed in the heart with a piece of wood after somehow ingesting the blood of three different people.
3. Some missing kids
4. Oh, and both bodies - the girl’s and the runaway corpses’ - had the same weird fungus in their heart cavities.

All of this - even the missing kids, Vanessa felt - was related. She just didn’t know how. The only answer that half way fit was that both of those bodies were vampires. Like…what’s a vampire but a dead body that gets up and walks around at night? And how do you kill a vampire? Why, you drive a piece of wood through its heart.
The idea that vampires were real was dumb, but the more she turned it over in her mind, the more she became convinced that it was at least an option. A lot of things people thought were fantastic and made up turned out to be real, so why not vampires too?
Shortly after 8, Bruce came in. He was just sitting down when Vanessa came in and slapped her report on the desk. “Buckle up, bitch,” she said, “things just got weirder.”
He stared up at her with one of those grumpy - but cute -expressions he was so good at putting on. As he read, however, his brow knitted. “Jesus,” he muttered to himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a weary sigh.
“I have a theory - kind of,” Vanessa said, “but I don’t want to say it.”
“You might as well,” Bruce said. “It can’t be more kooky than reality these days.”
“Okay,” Vanessa started, “what if - and I’m just thinking out loud here - what if there are vampires in Albany?”
She expected Bruce to give her a dirty look, but he chewed it over, actually taking it seriously. “And those missing boys are victims?” he asked finally.
“Yeah,” Vanessa said. “That girl’s been dead two weeks. Maybe she bit Dominick Mason and he came back for revenge after realizing he was cursed to be a goddamn shit sucking vampire forever.”
Bruce nodded. “Yeah, but who turned her?”
“I don’t know,” Vanessa said, “I don’t know.”
***
Before dawn painted the eastern sky, Merrick Garvis sat in his chamber like a withered king, a mess of IVs hooked into his arms and neck. The vault was silent save for the soft noise of the machines as they filtered out the old embalming fluid and replaced it with new embalming fluid. Embalming fluid always made him spacy, like a drug. The others had gone first, and even now lay near comatose around him like addicts in an opium den.
As far as he knew, Merrick was the oldest vampire in the world, perhaps, even, the oldest vampire to ever live. Though he was not fully honest with Dom, he was not lying when he said that vampires rotted like any other dead thing. Conditions considered, you had a few weeks tops if left untreated. There may be living vampires in remote corners of Egypt or the northern most reaches of Russia, where the climate preserved dead things, but unless you made it to one of those places, you were pretty well fucked.
Merrick was not a proud man, nor was he concerned with saving face - the dead have no need for that. He was being truthful when he said that he feared death. What’s more, he feared being helpless. Deep down, vampires are people, and people don’t exactly have the greatest track record with caring for their infirm. He read once that the first sign of a civilization was a broken leg that had healed, as it showed that someone stayed with and cared for a fellow human long enough for them to get well again. In Merrick’s opinion, that was true…and thus there was no civilization. Merrick was fifty-one when he died in the year 1982. In his lifetime, he had seen The Great Depression, World War II, and a million small acts of cruelty and selfishness in between. He’d seen beggars starving in the streets, abused children shuffled out of sight and out of mind, and disdain for the poor and the weak.
The living were awful, and the living dead were no different. Once their humanity rotted away, they cared only about filling their stomachs. They were like ticks - they would drink until their bellies literally ruptured…and then keep on drinking.
That left him in a precarious position. He was old, his body was weak. He couldn’t stand unassisted and if left to fend for himself, he would decay into a pile of bones within days. He would be cursed to lay in one spot for all eternity, aware and hungry, little more than a ghost tethered to a black and still beating heart.
He refused to let that happen to him. Thus, he had created a family, a clan of vampires loyal to him and to him alone. He did this through acts of simple kindness and understanding…but also through deception. He knew, for instance, how to preserve the brain. He’d figured out how to do it early on - you pickle it. Like a fetus preserved in a jar. He sawed off the top of his own head and filled it with a special solution that kept his brain - and his intelligence - intact. It slowly drained out through the nose and ears in a thin, yellow liquid, but it worked well enough. He couldn’t save everything, however, and had lost vital things in the process, such as most of his human memories, his sense of humor, and some motor functions. He shared this secret with only Joe, and a few others before, because he needed a strong captain. He kept the others in the dark because vampires - like people - are easier to control when they don’t think for themselves.
Right about now, however, Merrick was beginning to regret sharing the formula with even Joe. Joe had brought him nothing but grief. Joe, you see, could think for himself. He could make decisions. He could go behind Merrick’s back. Joe had something called free will, and free will is a worse affliction than vampirism. Free will is messy, free will is dangerous.
Free will could very well turn Merrick into a pile of bones.
That was, of course, if they weren’t discovered first. Joe had made several mistakes lately, not least of which was the turning of Heather. Sitting there in the predawn hour, attended by Tony, his gay bartender and human familiar, Merrick decided to have Joe killed. There are only two ways to kill a vampire: The stake and the flame. The latter seemed somehow appropriate in this case. After Joe, there would be no more captains, only him, one father with absolute power. That was how it had to be. One man, one vision. Democracies didn’t work. That was especially clear today. Everyone was so divided and nothing ever got done. If the humans had one strong leader, they might go in the wrong direction, but at least they would go somewhere. Instead, they stagnated.
Merrick didn’t particularly look forward to killing Joe, but it had to be done. To protect the family. To protect him.
And Merrick would do anything…anything at all…to protect himself.
***
Vampires.
Bruce kept coming back to that single wor, hoping each time that he would chuckle at the absurdity of it.
But he never did.
Did that mean he believed it? Not necessarily, but damn it, he considered it a possibility, and that alone was enough to make him feel like a fucking clown. All the evidence he had pointed to vampires, but then again, it might point to other things as well. Like aliens.
But let’s say the whole vampire thing was real. Who, like Vanessa asked, was patient zero? Who started this whole mess?
A name came to mind.
Merrick Garvis.
He had not had time to check into Garvis the previous day, but by God, he was going to do it now. He ran his name and social through the system and everything seemed to check out. Merrick Garvis was born on June 31, 1963 in -
Wait a minute. Weren’t there only 30 days in June?
Bruce checked, and there were, indeed, only 30 days in the month of June. Hm. Bruce did a little digging and found something out. Before 1987, social security numbers weren’t issued at birth. You had to sign up, using other forms of ID. Merrick Garvis applied for his in April 1984 and the date of birth on his state issued driver’s license was June 31. Bruce spent an hour on the phone with the DMV and learned that they had never issued a license to a Merrick Garvis. He then spoke to the Social Security Administration, and after much wrangling and frustration, he managed to get a photocopy of the license Garvis used to get his social security number. It was dated 1983.
The face staring back at him was almost exactly the same face he’d seen at Club Vlad, except maybe a touch less stiff and waxy. Though not as rough looking, there was no way in hell Garvis was 20 in that picture. It had to be a fake,
Bruce thought back to the events of the previous two days. Missing bodies, staked corpses, hearts that still beat after death.
Vampires didn’t seem like such a crazy explanation.
And if anyone was a fucking vampire around here, it was Merrick Garvis.

My (28F) fiancée (26F) has had a strained relationship with her parents for a long time. She has always [edit for typo] tiptoed around her volatile father and been distant from her emotionally unavailable mother.
When she came out 3 years ago, the distance became clearer. Her mom is homophobic. I’m not afraid to say it. She has cried on several occasions (that we know of) about her daughter being gay, says she used to be a “normal girl,” and will not have a conversation with or about me. It’s puzzling because her mom is not religious and, other than being lesbians, we want a very conventional life - house, plans for kids, solid corporate careers.
Her dad is relatively accepting of me but defends his wife to no end. He says my fiancée surprised them by being gay without warning and came out at a bad time when he had just been diagnosed with cancer. Even if that were valid (imo it’s not), it’s 2024 and they’ve had three years now to process and get to acceptance (or even just tolerance as a first step). He constantly uses his cancer as a tool to guilt and shame my fiancée for being distant, saying he “won’t be here much longer” and he “just wants [his] family back.” His cancer is incurable but treatable and not terminal. He has a host of other physical health issues and undiagnosed mental health issues as well. I believe they are real, but I also believe he uses them to emotionally manipulate her.
The three of them have been in family therapy for 2.5 months. Long story short, they do not accept any responsibility for hurting her in the past or ongoing in the present and blame her for being distant. We just got engaged on a trip to Europe and let them know via text. They texted, “Congrats.” No follow-up questions. They constantly act like my fiancée’s “choices” (veganism and being sober are actual choices she makes, being gay of course is not) go against how she was raised and make her a bad person and a bad daughter.
She is closer to cutting them off than she ever has been before (since therapy has made little if any difference and they show their true colors each session), but she keeps coming back to feeling guilty and sorry for her dad if she cuts them off because he is physically and mentally ill.
It’s easy for me to say because they’re not my parents and I have a loving and supportive family that also accepts my fiancée, but I wish she would just cut them off. Maybe it would be the wake up call they need or maybe they are truly incapable of change. Either way, I’m sick of being treated like I don’t exist by them, but I’m much more sick of my partner having to carry this burden. I also would never want to bring my future children around grandparents who cannot love and accept their own child and be happy that she is happy. I try to validate my fiancée’s feelings without pushing any agenda. Am I the asshole for feeling this way?

My husband and I talked. It was hard for both of us. The long and short of it is there was a lot of miscommunication about expectations, and we’re both so burnt out I’m pretty sure we can taste colors.
I feel like when couples fight, they’re either trying to “win” or they’re trying to come to a resolution together. I’m thankful that we are option B.
Husband said he’s not a picture-taking kind of guy. I pointed out I wasn’t a “clutter noticing” kind of gal when we got together, but I changed because it was important to him. I said, “it’s a behavior that I’m asking you to change because it’s important to me.” He said, “huh. Yeah, okay, you’re right. I hadn’t thought of it like that.” I think that analogy got through. I also told him I don’t want a parade for Mother’s Day, but I want him to do something. He said he would default to something shiny. I think next year, I’ll give him a list of things to choose from to make both our lives easier. He is not a mind reader, and looking back, I was expecting a small amount of mind reading from him.
Our son’s birthday was earlier in the week. I asked a relative to please take pictures or a video of my son blowing out the candle (not leaving anything to chance). At one point, my son was sitting in a chair telling me all about something, and I caught my husband taking a photo of us out of the corner of my eye. My smile is so big in that photo.
I will double down - he is a good dad. He is attentive, silly, and loving with our son. I have been guilty of not paying enough attention to the people who already exist in my life during trying times in my life, and he is under a lot of strain.
But he is trying to change. And I can give him grace while he figures it out.

I feel so banal just putting this down.
I've been married for almost 24 years now. There is way more background than I can put in here. [edit: Looks like I did my best though lol.]
In that timespan, in roughly chronological order, I've become a parent twice over, lost my mind and gone to outpatient mental health at a local hospital a couple of times, considered suicide, sat in the dark banging my head against a wall, found antidepressants which saved my life, started drinking, lost jobs, stopped drinking, started therapy, got in shape, found jobs, got out of shape, started drinking and hiding it, stopped drinking again, and finally concluded my marriage is a fucked up sham.
I keep a journal from time to time. The ones from 20 years ago are was full of "She is such a control freak bitch" vitriol about events I don't even remember anymore. The ones from 10 years ago? Same. The way I feel now? Same. She's to my mind narcissistic and expects everyone to act and change to her whims and has no patience when her requests aren't followed TO THE LETTER.
My role, and I am trying not to hyperbolize, boils down to: Earn money. Shop and cook meals. Fix things when they break. Find things when wife loses them. Unwaveringly support her home business, which involves moving hundreds of pounds of inventory from A to B and back to A again. Perform other tasks as ordered, and get an earful if I don't do them right.
My 9-5 job is... complicated. I'll just say every day is a new exciting ball of stress. I'm very very very appreciated there, but it is difficult for a variety of reasons. I come home most days feeling beat down and exhausted.
Now it gets specific.
Lately my octogenarian mother has started that downhill mental slide and my wife ostensibly has been "helping" me with her - which practically speaking means telling my mom what she needs to do using me as a conduit. (My father died years ago after a similar mental decline. My mother was his caretaker at that time, more power to her.) My wife has always been very vocal with her negative opinions about my wrong-side-of-the-tracks brother (who lives in mom's house in my area, is 50 and can't keep a job) and my wrong-side-of-the-aisle father (RIP he was really a nice guy) and more and more lately how difficult it is dealing with my mom. ("But you can't be mad at her, she can't help it" is always her follow-up comment.)
A week or so ago I got an abrupt phone message that mom was up and driving to Florida (a 14-hour trip from where we live) with my ne'er-do-well brother to get her snowbird RV working, cleaned up and on the market. This would conflict with some very necessary appointments I had made with her and I was furious at being blindsided. Mom was unwilling to postpone for admittedly valid reasons. My wife offered to call her and discuss this on my behalf since I didn't feel I could keep a level mind. I got a text from my mother shortly after that call asking if my wife had yelled at her own mother in that way\*.
I passed that on to wife with the question "What did you say?" and got back "I only spoke firmly with her" and she was overreacting and that I should text mom back and defend my wife. I texted and said something akin to "She called to save you from how much *I* would have yelled."
Fine. And life goes on. More and more shit hits various fans. TWO DAYS AGO we need to schedule other family things and I am interrupted at work with a photograph of an email on her computer screen showing some proposed info. I pull my attention away from what I'm doing and apparently take too long to sort the two months of events in my mind and she gets frustrated until she's yelling at me over the phone, "It's all RIGHT THERE IN THE DOC I sent, can't you read it? Why is this so hard?" and I kneejerk answered, "If this is the same way you talked to my mom that time, it is DEFINITELY yelling."
She abruptly hung up on me and I got a text, "Just read what I sent and then go to hell." I wrote back "I'm not sure why you think that tone of voice is ever helpful" and got radio silence.
We have normal life yesterday. I go to work. I pick up kids. I make dinner. I mow the yard. Every time I want to peel away to relax since it's been solid since I woke up, I am told how much stuff there is still to do. So I help trim the dogs. I help get springtime plants ready. I think, "I am only useful as someone who performs tasks here. I am a robot." (This is also a theme in my on-again off-again journals.) Finally go to bed.
This morning I am NO SOONER AWAKE than she starts in with how the other day I criticized how she talks to my mom and how she has THANKLESSLY done ALL THIS STUFF TO HELP ME OVER THE YEARS and in return she gets tone-policed and she doesn't appreciate it and the hell with everything and she'll just stop trying to help if that's my reaction. I have no response at that point (I am literally horizontal still, and it's pre-coffee) so I shower and go downstairs w/out saying anything.
We get into it a bit this morning. I try to get across the point that her helping out IS appreciated and what's NOT appreciated is raising her voice and being abrasive and I don't want to be spoken to like that. (Anymore.) She just gets louder, which is ironic, and goes back into how... well... something. I honestly don't remember because in not my finest hour I ended up doing a duck beak with my hand and muttering "blah blah blah." It goes over as well as you'd expect, but I swear to god it was more of how she's a victim because I told her I don't want to get yelled at. That more or less ended the conversation after 15 minutes of back and forth.
Throughout it though I kept trying to rephrase stuff to make it clear and she kept whatabouting. I pointed out "A week ago I told you I didn't want to sit there and be yelled at and you said 'Oh I'm sorry your highness,' do you remember that?" (This actually happened.) She said? "Keep your voice down, people will hear you." I was actually pumping up a bike tire in the garage at that point to help her with today's plans that SHE had made. (She opened the door to ask if I had anything I wanted to say. I said it. ONOZ KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. Why did you ask me then?)
She reiterated that it's not HER fault that I get triggered by this tone, and EVERY time she does this I "take it personally." I said "I don't take it PERSONALLY, I don't like to be yelled at!" and asked, "So if you help with things then you get free license to yell at me whenever you want?" And -- finally!! -- the answer to that question is, it turns out, yes.
Some points:

• We have seen a marriage counselor various times over the years.
• She wants me to be more open - more communication and feedback.
• But not THAT KIND OF communication, I guess.
• And definitely not about her or things that upset me.

tl;dr:

Wife gets upset and raises her voice and her attitude is "That's how I talk, get used to it." I get upset and raise my voice and her attitude is "Why are you so angry? You have issues, you need to talk to a therapist." (Which I do, actually.) I finally called her out on her yelling and got - surprise - yelled at for it.

So that's a giant spew of stuff. I've tried to be as neutral as possible.
I'm absolutely empty. I am feeling buried under so many responsibilities and they seem to keep piling on. The one person who is supposed to be there for me is treating it like some gigantic unappreciated favor. I voice negative thoughts or try to set boundaries (difficult for me for many reasons) and get shut down or dismissed. I had to call in sick this morning, since I feel so... well... Idunno. But I'm so much of it that I created a throwaway account to post here. I feel like crying but can't.
I guess the meds have helped, I'm not feeling self-destructive. I just want to not feel so shitty about trying to stand up for myself.
Thanks for reading.
---
\* The answer: yes, she actually DID yell at her own mother that way. Brought her to f*ing TEARS on more than one occasion. MIL passed away a decade ago, wonderful lady I miss her a lot.

My friend JP and I decided to each eat two 4 gram shroom chocolate bars.
Some context: JP and I, as well as some other classmates were all attending a trade school for 7 months. The school and a local extended stay hotel had a deal where students from the school could book rooms there for months in advance at a discount.
One weekend night a few of our classmates were having a small party in one of their hotel rooms. JP was busy doing something and we wanted to eat the shroom chocolates together so I hung out with the other guys having a couple drinks and smoking until JP arrived around midnight. JP finally arrived and we decided to eat the chocolate. We each immediately ate our first 4 gram bar. We agreed that 8 grams was a bit too strong so we broke off a few squares and shared them with our classmates. In total, we both ate about 6 grams (1 and a half chocolate bars). This was about midnight.
Around 12:30, I could feel the shrooms kicking in. JP was feeling it also. I was already having visuals and colors were very vibrant. JP was looking a little concerned and got up saying he wanted to trip in his own room. We all wished him luck and said goodnight and I told him to call me or text me if he needs anything. JP left.
Probably another 20 minutes or so and the shrooms were starting to affect my perception. I stood up off the couch and zoned out staring at the floor. Then I decided it was time to go back to my own room and lay in bed. My classmates said okay and even the guys who had only a couple squares of chocolate said they were feeling good. I said goodnight and walked the short distance down the hall to my room.
It felt good once i was alone in my room. The familiar feeling of tripping came over me. However, the trip was increasing in strength faster than usual. Soon I felt as though I wasnt in control. There were patterns on the wall and the carpet and I soon got a sinister feeling. I felt the urge to vomit and went to my bathroom. I dry heaved for a couple minutes but nothing came up. The shrooms felt like they were a separate organism living inside me, like they were growing inside me.
I decided to ride out the trip laying in the dark in bed. Being in complete darkness was comforting and made the visuals alot more vivid. Geometric patters of all different colors encompassed my entire visual field. I lay in the dark tripping.
The hotel rooms all have air conditioners and at this moment mine kicked on. The humming vibration sound comforted me. It was resonating with me, vibrating me on the inside. This helped me really relax into the trip, as the body high was accelerating rapidly. I felt myself blasting off.
Everything expanded and my mind was its own three dimensional space, separate from my body. Any substance Ive ever taken would always show itself to me. The shrooms were talking to me, something along the lines of “you wanted to trip so here you go”.
Suddenly my mind was collapsing, like how a star collapses into a black hole. It shrunk and shrunk down to microscopic size. At this point it felt like my whole being was being sliced up. I was being chopped atom by atom, getting smaller and smaller. I found myself laying on my back in bed and without trying to speak I said, “Im trapped inside here”, “Someone trapped me in here”, “Someone tricked me”. I watched as my mind was crushed and sliced smaller and smaller.
Finally, i could see myself trapped in a room inside my own mind.
I felt the fear of being trapped. The claustrophobia. I then remembered how in the Yugioh anime, Atem is trapped inside the millennium puzzle. This thought was like a wake up call and i imagined the word “willpower”. The room in my mind expanded to show that surrounding it, was a giant labyrinth. There was a maze in my mind that I was trapped in. I wasnt afraid anymore and felt confidence that I would escape.
This must have been what the shrooms were looking for. I passed their test. I was then being shown my own memories. Parts of my life passed in front of me. It looked like images of my memories on tablets which were being presented to me. I then got the feeling that I was dying. I felt my grandmother and possibly other ancestors around me. I thought, “ok this is it, Im going to die right here in this hotel room”, and I surrendered.
Thats when i saw it. The veil of our reality. It is directly in front of our eyes. Its as if our eyes are looking point blank into a screen that shows reality. But reality isnt real. I felt contained within something. We are inside a machine and our reality is being projected to us. I could tell there was more just beyond my eyesight.
I then saw, right over my eyes, a reptilian face. It flashed in front of my vision briefly, but its face is burned into my memory.
At this point i began to come back to normal. I slowly went back into my body and recovered from the trip. I lay in bed trying to remember what I had experienced, but I didnt lay for too long because from outside my room in the hallway I heard someones voice.
I sat up with a burst of adrenaline. That sounded like JP. I tapped my phone, it was 4:30am. I got up and went to the door. Poking my head out I saw JP standing in the hall talking to himself. “JP, what are you doing?” He turned to me and I knew he was tripping hard. He clearly didnt know what was happening. “Go back to your room.”, I said. JP looked very confused and walked past me, turning to look back a couple times. “JP get in here with me”, I said. “Are you Jesus?”, he asked wholeheartedly. I will admit this part made me laugh a little, but he was seriously freaking out. “Bro get in here”, I said more seriously. His expression changed and he said no and turned and briskly walked the other direction. I closed my door, put on pants and a shirt and got my room key. I opened the door again and he had wandered down the hall where the elevator was. I left my room and caught up to him. At this spot, the hallway makes a 90 degree turn and JPs room is down that way. I see near his door one of the exit signs had been ripped off the ceiling. It was apparent that JP had been wandering around the halls of the hotel tripping balls.
I got up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and coincidentally at this very moment, the elevator opened and two police officers stepped toward us. They said they got a call about someone acting strangely and knocking on peoples doors. JP uttered some nonsense to the officers. I said I was trying to get him back to his room. The officers agreed and we walked the short distance to JPs room. He didnt have his phone, wallet or room key. I agreed to babysit him in my room.
The cops left and told me to stay with him. I said sorry and thank you. For the next 2-3 hours JP frantically paced in my room, repeating the same sentences over and over. Eventually he layed on my bed and fell asleep.
Everything turned out ok and JP is fine. But he did get kicked out of the hotel for breaking their sign.
We can see two opposite trips happening, JP fighting his trip, and me giving in and being shown things.
From that day, our reality seems quite different to me and I wonder just how real that reptilian face actually was.

Missy loved to shop.
No, she wasn't one of those spoiled brats buying up all the Jimmy Choos on Rodeo. She was sensible, practical; a thrifter. There hadn't been a garage, yard or estate sale in a 20 mile area she didn't ravage. Twice a week, if not more, she would rampage through every clearance aisle in town. No Goodwill or Salvation Army was safe either. "The Circuit," her kids who didn't understand her compulsion always called it.
The only thing Missy enjoyed more than buying stuff was keeping it.
Over time, her home had become a certifiable death trap. Boxes of outdated appliances stacked high atop every seating surface, unrelinquished clothes filled up every square centimeter of every closet and a smorgasbord of cheap nick-nacks had eventually added up to an expensive collection that was worth nothing.
Guests had been few and far, including her children. Brian hadn't even called her since that wife of his broke her ankle walking to the bathroom. Missy always assumed she was faking it on her son's orders to make her feel guilty. At least they didn't bother her anymore. Cortney was on a mission to take everything away from her. Didn't she realize this was all gonna be hers one day? Was it so hard to be grateful? It wasn't like she was covered in dog shit and roaches. This was good, clean stuff.
"It's us or the shit," the daughter gave her an ultimatum one day.
The repeated warnings started going to voicemail. Very worried and even angrier, Cortney drove the two hours for an emergency intervention she planned on the fly. The traumatic memories of living in a cluttered home flooded back the entire route. The dad who gave up, the embarrassment of lying to friends, Thanksgiving gatherings cut short so mom could pregame for her decimation of Kohl's. That was even before Black Friday was even a thing. That was all that mattered. That was all she talked about. In Missy's world, whoever had the most stuff won.
"Jesus," her brother recoiled in repulsion upon breaking down the door, nearly getting side-swiped by three long unused mops in the process.
Their rotted mother sat on the lone unoccupied spot of the crammed sofa, her tissue fused with a bin full of frayed cords, a giant pile of DVD cases (most missing the discs,) and periodicals dating back to the Clinton Years. Missy, or what used to be Missy, demanded their exit, already sensing their disapproval. The called squad was scared off by the squelch and the yelp of pain upon picking up a piece of the assimilation.
City officials are too scared to condemn Missy's Museum of Massive Miscellany to this very day. Years have passed and even the vermin stay away. This doesn't bother the inhabitant. She may be the only one in there but she would never be alone.

I (21F) and my fiance (23M) are getting married in a couple months and so far wedding planning has been going smoothly but stressful as expected. I come from a strict Catholic religious background and my parents are very involved in our wedding planning (they graciously offered to pay for our wedding, even though I said it wasn’t necessary and was willing to have a very small wedding). My parents insisted since I’m their first child getting married that it was very special and they would love nothing more than to provide us our special day. However, now things are getting weird. For some context, my parents kicked me out before my 19th birthday simply because I wanted to “do my own thing” (i was in school and working full time at this time) and didn’t want to be responsible for helping out with taking my little siblings to school, extra curriculars ect. (i have a very large family). That in itself is its own issue. Since getting kicked out I used any penny I had to buy myself a car and phone and figure out a place to live. Things with my parents are fine now, especially since I’m getting married and they love my fiance.
Yesterday my mom and dad put me and my fiance in a group chat saying they would like to meet with us for a brunch this weekend to discuss wedding plans. However I learned yesterday that my father called my fiance and basically told him they are very close to canceling the wedding and sending out “un invites” to everyone. My father said he doubts my finances ability to “be a hard worker” and most of all doubts him because my fiance and I have been struggling to go to church. I was raised in the Catholic religion and have been personally struggling trying to figure out what I believe . My parents are crossing major boundaries by doing this, and are trying to get way too involved with us in my opinion. I was beyond livid that my dad would doubt my finances loyalty and work ethic (my fiance works 80 hours a week on average in a demanding blue collar job). Anyways I am trying to keep the peace till the wedding so everything goes smoothly, but part of me wants to rip into my parents for how my dad spoke to my future husband. I don’t tolerate the disrespect my father displayed to him. My fiance is working overtime to save money for us and take care of me financially once we get married, so i won’t have to worry about bills or grocery money. I work two jobs to pay for my expenses at the moment, but my fiance wants to alleviate my stress once we’re married so my money I earn can be spent on more leisurely things for me and him both.
My dad has used this threatening tactic with me before. After high school he said he was more than happy to put me through cosmetology school since it was what I wanted to do with my life, but when he kicked me out he told me he would be no longer paying for my schooling. (he ended paying for it all but during this time I was basically homeless so this caused so much anxiety. ) I just don’t know if my dad is being serious about wanting to cancel our wedding or not.. (mostly all wedding expenses have already been paid so i’m confused) and i’m feeling so overwhelmed and stressed because I never even thought they would try to threaten our wedding after saying they would whole heartedly be happy to pay for it.
any advice helps .. i feel so lost and stressed

I apologize if this has been asked before; I did do a search and read through some of the responses.
I have a 2015 Forester that I bought secondhand from my dad. It's in pretty good shape, but I do have a medium sized dog + the front driver's seat is showing some wear, so I was thinking about getting some covers to make it look a little nicer. I currently have a bench seat cover over the backseat to protect from the dog (he does wear a seatbelt, so only stays in one seat) but it's starting to rip so I'll need to upgrade.
I'm not car savvy enough to know where all of the airbags are in my car, but I do think there are some in the front seats as there is a tag that says so.
I'm looking at CoverKing and EKR right now, does anyone know if those kinds of seat covers will interfere with airbags? I can always just put one on the back bench seat I suppose, if it may be an issue.
Thanks!

I’m an introverted person that usually has a no-emotion expression even though I do feel a lot, sometimes even more than I let out, and I have a slow response to everything that happens around me. I have a hard time admitting that I’m wrong or planning things and I procrastinate a lot. I am reserved and a private person who loves my comfort zone. And I hate making calls with people I don’t get along with. I have a terrible short-term memory and I have difficulties remembering people’s names. I get angry or moody easily. I prefer to take things slow and consider all the options before making a decision, so people around me usually think that I look like a robot. Most of the times I find myself daydreaming, talking to myself or thinking about something so intensely that I forget about my surroundings. I am very shy with strangers but when you get to know me I can be pretty wild and funny. I sometimes experiment what people call analysis paralysis. I’ve been taking mbti tests and trying to find out more about cognitive functions for years, but I have not been able to set my mind on a specific type. I am about to start university and I’m thinking about getting my degree on physics or an engeneering. My parents have always been very controlling and protective, (I think my dad is an ISTJ and my mom is an ENFP) sometimes to the point they manipulated who my friends were, but they were open-minded in many ways, such as my interests or religion. They never forced me to do anything I really disliked except practicing sports, which I didn’t want to try because I would have to deal with people and I didn’t know how to. I always try to make my decisions based on my beliefs and logical reasoning. When making an important decision I always brainstorm every possibility that I can think of and then try to set my mind on one option, which is difficult to me sometimes as I never stop questioning the benefits of the other ones that I didn’t choose and sometimes that can lead to feelings of regret or not having made the best decision. And finally, I am usually considered to be a socially awkward person and somewhat weird as I don’t follow some social norms as they don’t make any sense or I just simply don’t care. My friends find me sometimes difficult to figure out or have a hard time understanding the connections I make, but fortunately we share similar sense of humor. People tell me I should open up more and talk about what I feel and also leave my bedroom more often or be aware of my surroundings. My biggest fear would be losing my loved ones or not living my life to the fullest and be happy.

I've been knocking ideas around for a while for a "do-it-all" static allocation, suitable for accumulation and decumulation, easier to hold through drawdowns than more typical portfolios, and so on. I appear to have stumbled on something with the following features:

• Very high CAGR over the test period, and good reason to believe that it will perform well going forward, and would have farther back if these instruments had existed then.
  
• Max drawdown size and length about half of that of the S&P.
  
• Exposure to several asset classes.
  
• Setup and maintenance are simple (just hold four funds in equal measure and rebalance annually or quarterly).
  
• No portfolio-level leverage.
  

Here's a quick backtest with simulated tickers for the funds that haven't existed for as long as this data has. Unfortunately we can only go back to December 2005.
And a backtest of actual funds you can use for this to demonstrate that the data above tracks what you would have seen if you had used real funds.
All backtests here are inflation-adjusted. You can't eat nominal returns, after all. Now let's talk about the components of this portfolio and why I believe they work. All of the below held at 25% a pop.

• SVIX - the primary driver of returns. This is a constant short vol exposure, doing basically what XIV used to do (short VIX futures), but not exposed to the same rebalancing risk. You would still expect this fund to lose half or more of its value in a matter of days every now and then. That's a feature. Think of this as a highly leveraged equity position without the risk of a grinding bear market like 2000-2002 causing you to rebalance continually into a losing position. The one sticking point I have with this fund is that it could still delist at the bottom of a deep drawdown, but you can change that out for something like UPRO if that happens. Not an ideal solution, but it won't blow your account up either.
  
• DBMF - trend following managed futures to introduce a more or less all-weather diversifier with positive skewness into the strategy.
  
• ZROZ - the longest end of the treasury curve for a huge helping of duration risk to keep you afloat during deflationary environments like 2008.
  
• Gold (IAUM used above) - a large contribution of volatility in an uncorrelated manner to the rest of what's here, and will help you out during and immediately after periods of monetary expansion. In environments where ZROZ is unhelpful (like the last couple years), gold should fare much better.
  

Here's the above backtest put alongside each of its constituents, so you can see how each is contributing/detracting at particular times over the test period.
You will note that there is no direct equity exposure. Instead you have a quarter of the portfolio invested in an instrument that rips when equities are doing well and suddenly (rather than slowly) crashes, allowing you to rebalance back into it after vol has already spiked. The other three quarters consist of diversifiers that both contribute meaningful amounts of vol to the overall portfolio and are expected to do well in different kinds of macro shocks.
I am not personally invested in this strategy, and I only came up with this yesterday, but the chart alone seems to merit further research. What do you all make of it?

First and foremost I've definitely failed as an owner and didn't do enough things for her. All criticism and feedback are welcome and valid.
I've had her 4 years when I was living out in CA. Her previous owner gave her up due to her reactivity and they had a family of goldens that were not getting along with Luna. I tried to train her (half-heartedly) and never saw much progress.
It was never really an issue for me because I lived alone after moving to WA shortly after getting her, job was always remote for me to spend time with her, took her on lots of hikes, adventures, etc. and I could always manage holding her back when she would bark/lunge at other dogs during our walks. This doesn't happen all the time but with some breeds she's more reactive.
I've since moved back in with my family in the east coast and have realized the home is not the best place for Luna. The trigger for this post is when two days ago, Luna somehow swiped open the screen door facing the yard, attacked another dog, and when their owner tried to separate the two, Luna ended up biting her as well. This is the first time ever where she's bitten a person.
Cops and ambulance came (thankfully owner only suffered minor lacerations), police report filled out, and due to a new law passed in PA, I had to drop her off at an external facility where she'll be quarantined for 10 days.
I was under the impression she would still be let out to walk but this was not the case when I got there. The cage is quite small (for a husky her size) and there is another small-ish space behind for her to relieve herself. It's quite heartbreaking thinking how she's in that enclosed space not realizing what's going on and worse, not knowing how long she has to be in that space.
I still believe that she can be trained (my ex had an aussie and I have videos of them playing around/rough-housing. Full-disclosure, Luna did bite the Aussie at one point and I had to take her to the vet. And I might be wrong, I'm not an expert but seeing them getting along gives me some sense of hope) and with a right family, she can enjoy the things I wasn't able to provide. We went on so many trips together. Hiked across so many mountains in WA, the Canadian Rockies, even Alaska, and I feel like while I've given her awesome experiences, due to my lack of commitment to put her through formal training, I've failed as an owner.
Perhaps I'm trying to grab on to whatever excuse I can for an easy way out of the current situation but work will require me to fly to the west coast more frequently (hard to find a sitter on Rover with Luna's bite history and general reactivity towards dogs), parents are too old/weak to deal with Luna pulling when she walks, dad is allergic to fur which has been quite stressful for him as well as Luna since she's only allowed on the first floor.
Have called around local rescues/shelters and euthanizing will be almost guaranteed if I take her to the shelter. Rescues have also declined to take her due to her reactivity. No friends/families in the area that can take her as well.
She's really a wonderful dog. Crate-trained, house-trained, so goofy and loving and intelligent and objectively speaking, the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. She does great with children and babies as well.
If you're interested, let me know. Currently in eastern PA but willing to drive to eastern/central/southeastern US if you are interested in providing a new home for her.
Images of Luna: https://imgur.com/a/luna-mtrlWDQ

I'm reposting because we've cleared up some spots on the server and have since upgraded network equipment so have more capacity for new users. I've also more than doubled the selection of content. Our last go around I only recruited a few users and was very selective, so feel free to re-apply if I didn't select you before. If you don't get into the Plex, you can still get into the Discord where you will have an opportunity to join the Plex in the future.
I'm a digital archivist with a ~500TB collection that I'm looking to share with people. This is the first time I'm expanding access outside my small-circle of friends. I'm looking for people who are also interested in joining and building a real community of AV nerds.
The collection is primarily movies and tv shows. There is a lot of stuff that was personally ripped and you won't find elsewhere, and some "lost media" that took some effort to find.
A lot of attention was paid to "completeness" and correct organization, with over 2500 fully complete TV series and 10000 movies. Completeness includes downloading full franchises of content, so I tend to have all the special episodes/reboots/sequels/spinoffs/movie of any particular franchise. If I'm missing an episode of something, that's because it probably just isn't available ANYWHERE. Quality is almost always the best available resolution/format for whatever content is on the server.
You will also get access to my Overseerr page, where you can request anything I don't already have. Available Sources: All top tier private trackers, many specialized private trackers. Can do a custom request rip if its available on any online streaming service, even if its a foreign streamer like FujiTV On Demand.
I also regularly stream major live events and PPV events for free through our own streaming site.
If you don't make the cut for the Plex, you will still be able to join our Discord where you will be able to participate in the community, join our watch parties, and have an opportunity to join our Plex in the future.
If you are looking for a new home and can add value to building this community, PM me with a short blurb about what sort of content you like and how you can contribute.
Here are the types of contributors I'm looking for:
1) Curators
You will be responsible for helping me surface content that we already have and finding content to add. This means suggesting movies to watch on movie nights or creating thematic collections. For example: you are a horror movie buff that can curate Halloween collections, or deep cut collection of the best cult horror movies.
2) Discord Community Managers
You will be responsible for helping me recruit for the community, run events, and moderate. This means stuff like finding new users to bring on the Discord, engaging our users there, and setting up events like movie nights or poker nights.
3) Lost or Obscure Media Hunters
You will be responsible for helping me find and rip lost or obscure media. I already have access to most private trackers, but maybe you have invites to some obscure private tracker for specific content I can't find. Maybe you go out of your way to find out of print DVDs that nobody else has uploaded anywhere. You know who you are.
4) Plex Share Managers
You will be responsible for helping me maintain good practices and policies with regards to inviting people to the Plex share. I've only opened this up to a limited number of people so far so that I can ensure the best experience for our users, and so I don't get arbitrarily banned by Plex. I'd like to keep it that way. You've set up a Plex Share community before or have a lot of experience with them.
5) Sysadmins
I'm just looking for other homelab geeks to recommend new services, bounce ideas and help troubleshoot stuff. Eventually looking for other admins to help me maintain infrastructure and do admin work when I'm not available to do so.
6) Mirror providers
Maybe you live in another region and have the resources to setup a mirror.

Library Highlights:

• Prestige Cinema and TV
• Sitcoms (New and old, the good stuff and the popular stuff)
• Science Fiction (Every major and minor SciFi franchise, from Babylon 5
• Horror (Basically everything, you will be hard pressed to find something I don't have)
• Cult and B Movies
• Gen X/Millennial Nostalgia Content
• Superhero Franchises (Marvel / DC / all the less known stuff like Flash Gordon as well)
• Drag Race and Drag Content (all regional franchises, even the first season of untucked aka Under the Hood)
• Copaganda (Every Law and OrdeDick Wolf show, NCIS, CSI, 911, FBI, The Rookie, etc.)
• Foreign Content (Critically acclaimed, culturally relevant, etc.)
• Anime (All the large franchises and highly rated stuff. Examples include: Dragonball, Sailor Moon, Gundam, One Piece, Lupin, Fate, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Bleach, Pokemon, Attack on Titam, Baki, Death Note, Cowboy Bebop, Solo Leveling, etc.)
• Modern Animation (Newer stuff from Netflix/Disney+/Max/Fox/etc.)
• Contemporary Animation (The stuff Gen X/Millennials watched growing up. Classic Nick, Cartoon Network, Fox Kids, Disney Content. The well known stuff like Dexters Lab to the obscure and forgotten like Eek the Cat.)
• Golden Age Animation (Complete collections of Looney Tunes, Terry Toons, Hanna-Barbera, Disney, Paramount, etc. A lot of work went to tracking down complete collections of a lot of these cartoons. )

i'm not one for social media, but i've created this account because i need help.
long story short: i (18M) struggled with porn addiction and masturbating for 11 years. what do i do to be clean?
at the age of 8, i was exposed to hardcore porn. at first i wasn't turned on by it, it actually disgusted me, but it still made me very curious about sex. i continued to look at pornography or at least sensual pictures until i discovered what masturbating was when i was 10-11.
masturbating was exciting when i first figured it out, and i didn't need pornography to ejaculate. it was only after i had discovered it was easier to get it up when watching porn did i do both at the same time.
in middle school, i was exposed to mature anime and hentai, which only made my addiction worse. my dad caught me and grounded me, which helped me stay clean for a little bit. to avoid getting caught again though, i resorted to watching soft-core porn. i continued this until high school.
the pandemic hit near the end of my freshman year (march 2023). a friend of mine became my girlfriend later that year. we would sext on a daily, and this went on for about 4 months. it was a very toxic relationship, we only used each other for sex and emotionally broke each other. my dad caught me again after awhile, and it was worse than last time.
being raised in a religious household, pornography and masturbation are things that are really looked down upon. i understand, they are horrible, disgusting things to do. i just find it hard to quit.
back to the story, my dad grounded me the entire summer, which i remained clean because i was depressed from having to break up with my girlfriend and didn't even have the energy to get out of bed. i was clean for maybe 6-8 months, but i relapsed and have suffered since then.
i was recently in a very good relationship in my opinion. me and my girlfriend helped each other, and i trusted her enough to let her in on all of my addictions. she said she had dealt with the same addictions in the past for 3 years, but she had been clean for awhile. we didn't do anything sexual for months. we had a secret relationship because of our religion, and the way they look down upon young people dating who aren't ready to get married. we then started to sext in month 8 of our relationship. this was on and off though, only happening when one of us were out of town or were especially horny that night. we started to have sex around the same time, and did it constantly until january, when our relationship ended.
i have major trust issues because my parents have lied, manipulated me, and controlled me my entire life, but they are narcissists who are never wrong. i only trust my ex, but now we don't talk.
i'm going to turn 19 soon. i've been struggling with this addiction for over 11 years. i've tried to go cold turkey, deleting all of my apps that give me triggers, i've started to journal daily, started working out, but nothing is working. i relapsed right before writing this, and now i feel like a failure. this has all left me hopeless, with low self esteem, self harm, depression, and anxiety. this is a cry for help. i don't know what to do.

Just hope to find my human
Hi all, I’m David, no staged names here! And yup, 49 and sadly single for a few years now! I’m in Scotland, and would prefer someone on same continent.
I’m a simple lad looking for that connection! That one human I can come home to and talk to, hold hands with and just be!! Or they can come home to me!!
I’m 173cm short, not toned but defo not fat. Middle of the road dad bod!?!? Salt and pepper short hair, glasses and beard. Happy to share pics.
I’m looking for my fem! Not necessarily cis but defo fem!!!!! So you can see I am very open.
I honestly think Vanilla is only good for ice cream!! Very K positive!!
Likes are travel, photography, camping if able, scuba if able, computer, sci-fi, fantasy, books of the digital kind tho and many many more!
I’m passionate about what I do and if you take time to know me then you’ll see what makes me tick!
I am drawn to a small build person, so that does mean hight and chest sizes lol! Hey if women can say they want tall dark and handsome, then I’m sure I can say my preference also! I’d hope that your not a barbie kind of person, IE All make up and glitter lol. Great eye candy and all but not really for me!
So what else do you want to know?
If you’ve made it this far! Whoop well done you, next step is to drop me a message and say something a bit more than “Hi” please!
Look forward to hearing from you, if you are out there!!!

Long story short: I lend my friend 12k and now he is refusing to pay me back saying that i will ask my dad to pay and ignoring my calls and texts. I reached to a lawyer friend of mine who spoke to him and asked him to pay the money back tomorrow or we will send him a legal notice. And the guy who took money from me is not taking this seriously and taunting me. I just want my money back its being more than a week that i m trying to get my money back I really don’t know how to go forward or serving a legal notice will be fruitful. Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

Hey everyone. After being single for almost 2 years and so many bad experiences with dating apps and countless months of not searching, along with no experience dating IRL, I have decided to give it one final attempt here on Reddit. I am looking for a woman who I can establish a good rapport with and hopefully establish a long term relationship with.
I am 29 years old, 6'1 in height, average face, a slight dad bod (working on losing it and geting back in shape), I have long wavy brown hair, blue eyes and fair skin. I'm interested in women aged between 18-30, appearance doesn't matter that much to me. But if you have short hair, then that's definitely a plus!
As far as my interests go, I'm into video games, anime, history, writing, role-playing in general, nature, hiking, swimming, astrology, religion, other countries in general. Ideally I would like a partner who is more extroverted than I am, to compliment my quiet nature.

/ higher than 15mph. I changed to staying very low on release and ripping up through the ball for revs. I can't use a bigger backswing like I used to. I don't know what my old ball speed used to be in 2007. (no thumb since 1995). in comparison to my team mate throws 17mph. estimate on my ball speed from 2007. sorry about video quality and I didn't add the music the bowling alley plays music during tournaments. teammate: https://youtube.com/shorts/MCdyjPGdcU4?si=E42AYc-TNnhLpKeO
me I suk: https://youtu.be/wqI-rVUawr0?si=rjhm_9zdeCFB8vZY

Am I the asshole, because I told my aunt that she was hysterical and conceited?! I, 16 Female, need some kind of special glasses to see at all, and these glasses happen to be damn expensive, not to mention that I have to travel at least 2 hours from my village, that they can make the glasses for me. I obviously have to wear these glasses all the time, and I also wore it on one of my cousins' birthday at my dad's side , where my mom's sister and her family were also invited on a friendly basis. The others were playing, and I did NOT join, because I should have taken off my glasses to play football, and I don't like playing football anyway. So I sat on the bench beside the field as a commentator, and my role was to say who had the ball, etc. When the others decided to take a break, my cousin, 11 Male, walked towards me, stopped about 1 meter from me, and threw the ball at my head with all of his strength. Let me not say that the glasses flew off my head like a bird, and, of course, shattered. When my dear cousin noticed what he done, he immediately started saving himself, saying that I didn't say well what was happening, and that's why he missed a goal. After I realized what had happened, I started yelling at him. He broke my glasses, which my parents bought for me barely a month ago, and he even wanted to make me look bad! Of course, my aunt, her mother, came over to see what is going on. I told her that her dear son threw a ball to my head, and she didn't believe me! The others who were playing soccer also intervened and said that everything happened as I said, because they saw it, and my aunt's reaction was to tell me not to be so hysterical, and he didn't throw the ball on purpose, it's just a pair of glasses anyway, and why am I upset now, I shouldn't have been playing wearing glasses. By this time, my tears were already flowing in streams, and in my anger I told her not to be so hysterical and conceited, and she should accept that it's her son's fault now. Of course, she got mad, and went to yell to my mother, that she could really raise me properly, because I can't behave. In short, my mother also had a fight because my aunt didn't want to give me a penny to get new glasses, and they left the birthday party in anger.
So, am I the asshole?

So i was in a relationship i knew her for 3 years we were together for 2 of them I absolutely love her and still do but a month and half ago since were arabs her parents made an arrangement marriage long story short her dad got in her mind convincing her that I’m a bad guy etc. so we stopped talking i blocked her from everything the only thing that still exist it’s a group chat for me and our friend btw we broke up two weeks ago its supposed to be 3 but after a week i heard from one of our friend that she don’t want to be with me again and she accepted the guy so long story short she is now engaged still no marriage but engaged and im pretty sure we will never be together again but I can’t stop thinking about her and the way she ended things with me blaming me for everything and accusing me of hurting her i cant focus on my work on my study i hardly sleep and i literally cant get her out of my head tbh i start smoking weed again to help things but don’t know what to do how to move on fr