Wow, just finished KoD & it felt like RJ was back to his best after the supposed 'slog'! What a book, what a finish! From the start where Galad kills the rapist Eamon Valda to continuous action in the last 200 pages, this was a nice return to form after the slow CoT.
Some thoughts:
1) I am a bit sad that this is the end of the RJ books. He created this world & its sad that he wasn't able to finish his magnum opus. Even though I'm sure Sanderson would have done a pretty good job, I wish RJ was able to finish this before he died!
2) "The Golden Crane flies for Tarmon Gai'don" - Literal goosebumps. The best part was when Weilin Aldragoran realises that he is actually crying after hearing Nynaeve's speech! Wow!
3) Should Rand let Min go? He lost his hand shielding her and it was a situation where she wasn't needed at all given that she couldn't channel. And the whole way to that Manor, everyone was saying it was a trap. Why take Min when you can't even trust yourself/LTT with saidin?
4) I used to dislike Faile with a passion but she was a real one for promising to save the other captives even if she escapes.
5) Fuck Masema, man. What a cunt..It was sad to see Aram radicalized. All he needed was an arm around the shoulder but Perrin kept ignoring it.
6) I know she is Black Ajah, was one of Rand's torturers/kidnappers, left Faile & her troops to die in Malden but I felt real sad at the way things ended for Galina. I think death would have been better than being a slave to Therava for the rest of her life with zero chance of escape.
7) Was Mat-Tuon the best romance in the series? I did feel so, even though Rand-Aviendha was very well done. When Furyk Karede tells Tuon that Mat really loves her, it was an amazing moment.
8) On Karede, what a guy. Showing him & Tylee Khirgan helping the good guys was a great way of showing that Seanchan aren't totally bad guys. They are just normal folks with some weird/archaic practices.
9) So, I guess Moiraine will be back. Has Cadsuane replaced her as Rand's advisor? This will be interesting to see.
10) Speaking of Rand, what's going to happen with him is really exciting. The taint is gone but there is no question in my mind that he looks insane to others. He can't weild saidin properly, is becoming too cold/hard. Seeing this Rand vs the sheepherder Rand in the early books is a contrast.

Why would a guy find you attractive, speak of how well you get along but not feel ‘romantic’?
I can’t get over him
October last year I matched with a guy on a dating app. I’ve never really had a march quite like it, an instant connection, amazing conversation, so much in common, nice physical spark. I was excited . On dates he would hold my hand and talk about how he feels we get along so well
But he kept me at a distance, never flirted over text, messaged in a really formal way, took several days to reply. Confusing given that we connected so well on dates . He had a few problems in the bedroom where he said he was ‘thinking too much’ but I was patient. He said he felt comfortable with me
Then he lost his job, had visa issues (he’s from Australia) and eventually said he didn’t feel romantic and that he wanted to be friends. He said it was a him thing and nothing on me
He remains friends but still acts a bit strange. Sometimes he texts me all of the time, sending memes and recipes and other times he disappears for a while. Then he asked to see me and he took me to play golf, he was hugging me a lot , touching me subtly and telling me how he feels that me and him get along so well. He told me he might go back to Australia next year but he’s not sure
I went on holiday last week and during that time, he was liking every story post I put up of myself, sending me messages asking about my holiday. I then replied back to him and I said ‘how are you doing?’
He didn’t reply. He continued to like my stories and posts but won’t reply back. This doesn’t make sense to me
He’s moved a couple hours away for a new job and I couldn’t help but see if he has a new hinge profile. He has just gotten a dating app profile and seeing it has made me sad. His profile even says he is looking for a long term relationship :(
I don’t get it . I’m 29 and never had a partner and me and him really clicked. Could it be he still likes me somewhat?
I’m upset tonight cause I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m an attractive woman, he used to tell me I was pretty and that he loved my company, but why would I never be good enough for a relationship. I still have feelings for him and I’m scared I’ll never lose them but also scared i won’t ever be liked by anyone
I’ve never had feelings for anyone like I did him. And I don’t get his behaviour or if it means anything

Hi all,
A follow-up to my last post, in which I gave my impressions on the 8.0.0 dev update before Vecna was revealed. Now that we know the massive nerfs to gen-defence aren't being counterbalanced by a new gen-defence perk, I wanted to expand on a key point;
In light of the nerfs to gen-defence, what arguments are there against nerfs to Sprint Burst and Lithe? Let's break it down;

1. Usage Rate - A key reason Pop and Pain Res are being targeted is due to their high usage rates. In the last stat release; Pop had a run rate of 22%, Pain Res 21%. In the same stats, Lithe was sat at 21% and Sprint Burst 13% (remember, you can't really stack them like you can gen-defence). So if Pop and Pain Res can be nerfed for being overused, why can't Sprint Burst and Lithe?
   
2. Pop is being nerfed because it is "too easy to activate". Firstly, downing and hooking a Survivor isn't always easy, but some people think this means that you don't have to go out of your way to activate it (you do. You have to kick a gen within 45s or lose it). Lithe requires you to vault a window, Sprint Burst requires you to... run. If Pop can be nerfed for being too easy to activate, why can't Lithe and Sprint Burst?
   
3. Lithe and Sprint Burst are balanced perks, Pop and Pain Res are not. What makes you say this? At best, Pain Res buys you 90s of extra repair time, at the cost of spreading hooks and taking more time to put Survivors on specific hooks. Pop, at its absolute best buys you a whopping 272s (though that's if you get 12 kicks on 99% done gens). Let's say the average gen in 50% done when you kick it, Pop would buy you 146s. Lithe and Sprint burst, in terms of pure distance, buy you 7s per activation (with there being no cap on how many times they can be used). If you reach a safe pallet or window, this can easily be increased to 30s+ per activation. So no, Pop and Pain Res are no less balanced than Sprint Burst and Lithe. So why are the former being balanced or the latter?
   
4. They have already been nerfed when Exhaustion was nerfed. Pain Res was already nerfed to max out at 4 uses, and Pop was already nerfed to work on a curve. So clearly preexisting nerfs offer no protection.
   

So I ask again, can anyone come up with a good argument why Sprint Burst and Lithe shouldn't be nerfed when Pop and Pain Res are getting nerfed?

Ok so context I have had a really busy bad day at work today (I work in accounting and reception at a well known motor company in Australia) there I was just sitting at my desk just working away when a customer storms past my desk yelling at me “clearly you don’t want to sell any cars” and I said “oh sorry did you want me to grab a salesperson for you” “ her literally yelling at me saying how dissatisfied and disappointed she is with the company and going on about how long she had to wait and how she’s gonna go buy a car from someone else. My response “ ok I’m really sorry about that” she leaves but has to stick her head back in the door and say “you know I bought my last 4 cars from here” my response…. 👀 “ok” she then leaves I get up to go fill up my water and pass the owner of the company who heard what happened ( he was on the phone with a customer at the time) I explained it all and he said “she waited one minute I watched her wait ” also I think I need to explain she was also waiting in the wrong department 😑 my boss being the sees the good everyone kinda person goes “she’s probably having a bad day” my response is this “ I’m having a bad day too (blank) I’m tired I’m exhausted I physically feel so unwell but it’s still no excuse to speak to someone like that” and so I guess I just needed to get off my chest I’m angry I’m annoyed I’m frustrated. I don’t care what kind of day you’re having if you speak to someone like that you are the scum of the earth and you can’t change my mind

hi, im pretty new to the whole reddit scene and felt like i didnt have much to post about, but man, i need to talk about this situation im in. any and all advice is welcomed and greatly appreciated. this is not a request for money!
im currently 32 weeks pregnant (was not planned.) just over a month ago, my boyfriend and i were homeless, like sleeping on benches kinda homeless. im 19 and he is 21. he comes from pretty broken home, and i was kicked out when i told my mom about my pregnancy. being thrown out into the real world so young has really not worked out so well for either of us, but recently things were starting to look up. i was able to make amends with my family to move back in & he was able to secure a construction job by sleeping nearby so he was able to walk to the site. on his first paycheck he bought a cash car to sleep in and get him to safer areas at night time. here and there he would let me use the car to doordash for some extra money. all was well for about 2 weeks until we hit a pothole that blew out one of our tires, and when we took it in to have it replaced, we also had to pay to fix the alignment and a leak in the coolant tank. $800 gone just like that. we actually had to get some assistance in paying for that from a couple friends because we didn’t have the full amount that was sprung on us. that was 2 DAYS AGO. so, here we are today, enjoying having the car back running “smoothly” until randomly, no more than 20 minutes after he picks me up, the car starts literally vibrating and jolting while we are driving. he calls up a friend who is supposedly pretty good with cars, and uses a code reader to tell us we need a new battery. we are dead broke after getting this car out of the shop, so after a while we eventually called up our church to see if this was something they could help with, and they actually did. we had to catch a ride there with a friend, but they gave us a brand new battery. we get it hooked up in the car, and nothing changed. so he uses the code reader again, now its saying the spark plugs are misfiring. thankfully our friends were willing to help us out with another $40 on those, and he got to changing them. on the 3rd plug, when he pulled it out, it was covered in black oil. we dried it up, put the new one in, and just by leaving the car idling for a couple minutes, it pooled up again. the car is not safe to drive and we have no means of income without it considering that he is stranded about 30 miles from his job. he is having to sleep in the autozone parking lot tonight. thankfully, yet AGAIN, i got help from my friend to get me an uber home because i have an OB appointment tomorrow, which i also will have to pay back the copay for at some point lol. so now we are a few hundred in debt to our friends with no means of income and it was all for nothing. we literally wasted everyones day away and now im literally drowning in stress because it will more than likely need to be towed. and even if it can be worked on at autozone we are completely out of options to continue trying to fix it. we spent EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS that we did not have only for this to happen 2 days later.
i guess thats it, lol. once again i would like to reiterate that this is not a post to ask for financial assistance, but this car is our lifeline and we have put every dollar we can into it. are there any other things we can do at this point? neither of us have credit so we cant take out a loan through the bank. this is the first car either of us have ever owned. if its useful info, the car is a 2015 nissan altima.
sorry for the long post. i just had an exhausting night and wanted to yap a little about it. thanks for reading and again any advice would be helpful . :)

Ever since I moved to Toronto, I've been having so much acne, my hair is falling out, I've been having boils randomly, and my hormones have been all over the place. Is it the water? The food? What do I do??
Context: I am a 24 yr old Female and I stayed in Asia most of my life and I have always had clear skin and alot of hair, granted I had really fine hair. I am a very clean and organized person and I've tried every skin care product but the acne keeps on coming. I sleep well most nights, I eat healthy, I shower everyday (No I don't shampoo my hair everyday), and overall I've been doing the same things as I did back in Asia but again, since I moved to Toronto, my health has just been going down.
I need any and every tips any of you can find please (I WILL DO MY OWN RESEARCH FIRST OFC)

1. Do shower filters actually work? Which one should I get? I can't afford expensive ones... Maybe around 100-300 cad is fine... (So apparently most cheap water filters only filter out chemicals and don't actually soften hard water... What actually softens hard water is sodium (a specific type?)... Can someone confirm this please?)
   
2. What about silk pillowcases? Do they actually work? Which ones should I get?
   
3. Skin care tips? Which products are good for acne? For reference, I have very dry and sensitive skin and I often use Korean Skin Care.
   
4. Hair care tips? Which products should I try? For reference, I have really thin, high porosity hair, with some damage and LOTS of split ends... I'M ALSO EXPERIENCE EXTREME HAIR LOSS... I'M TALKING CHUNKS EVERYTIME I SHOWER
   
5. I haven't gone to the doctors yet mostly because IDK what to say or ask. Is there anything I should be asking? Especially with my health?
   
6. Any other tips and recommendations? Any other causes I should look at?
   

Thank you so much for reading all this way... I hope you guys can help... I've been experiencing extreme anxiety and depression because of everything that's been happening. Yes I'm aware that stress is also a significant cause to this and I am trying to get that check out too. Nonetheless, I really appreciate you guys and I hope anyone who has been experienced the same thingor something similar can read this and also gain someknowledge. Thank you.

TLDR - I congratulate myself on preventing my mom from getting a tattoo the day after she was released from the hospital for a minor stroke.
I got a call from my sibling that my mom had just been admitted to the hospital after she started slurring her words and moving oddly. They didn’t know exactly what was happening yet, but we suspected a stroke. I booked a flight out for first thing the next morning.
My mom was going through tests but the ER doctor had confirmed that it looked like she’d had a minor stroke. She would be in the hospital for a few days for observation. Once I knew that she had her phone with her, I texted her to let her know I would be there soon. She wrote back “I wish you weren’t coming” a few minutes later. I remember thinking that it was weird that I didn’t feel anything when I read that. I didn’t respond to it.
The next morning I flew out. Once I got into town, we found out that since my mom appeared stable, they were releasing her.
I was finally alone with her while driving her home, and she started telling me that she “has an appointment tomorrow” in this low, sly voice, which she only uses when she’s telling you something that she doesn’t want anyone to know about. At this point in the story there’s a gap in my memory - I don’t remember exactly how it got revealed, but the appointment was at a tattoo shop.
The next day rolls around, and physically, she isn’t ready to drive. I drive her to the place, and before we get there, she says “Just drop me off and I’ll call you”. There’s no way I was going to do that, but I’m trying to play it cool, so I casually mention that I’d like to see the place. I can tell at that point that she’s slightly uncomfortable with that.
We go in, and I act like I’m just there to do what I said, but I’m listening to the conversation between my mom and the artist. After looking at the sketch, the artist said something to me like “So, are you here for vacation?” She opened a door that I just had to walk through, and I felt all the words flow out so easily.
“I’m here because she was in the hospital for a stroke and was just released yesterday.”
The look on my mom’s face and her body language in that moment were chef’s kiss. Her reaction confirmed my suspicion that she was really going to try to get a tattoo right then.
The owner of the place told her she’d have to stop her blood thinner medication with clearance from doctor before he’d allow his artists to touch her. She claimed to have no idea that if she had tried to get a tattoo, she’d end up bleeding. On the drive home she was silent and sniffling. I was elated.
I’d never turned the tables on her like that. It felt good, and I’ve been holding onto that feeling ever since.

This has been happening for a few years now. But I'll explain how it all started, and how it's been going on.
In 2019, at the beginning of the pandemic, I started visiting the house of a high school friend. A friend told me she was single, so I went to visit her. We got along great, me and her family, and we stayed together for 60 straight days, watching movies during the pandemic since we couldn't go out. In the beginning, there were three of us staying up together at night: her 15-year-old sister, who is now 19, my 28-year-old fiancée, who is the same age as me, and me. We three were very close, but my fiancée already had feelings for me. I said I didn't want to date, but things happened, and now we've been together for 4 years. Where am I going with this? During these 4 years, many things have happened. One of them is that her sister, since she was 15, kept saying she loved me and was always clinging to me, hugging me, asking for hugs. Her family asked me to let her be, saying it was normal and that she was affectionate, and I complied.
Two years into the relationship, despite dealing with deep depression and almost attempting suicide a few times, I started taking medication and thought it was just confusion in my head. But I always responded more to her, the younger sister. I always had an instinct to provide more support. For example, I set up her first computer (we live in poverty), gave her a desk, an office chair for better studying conditions. Whereas my fiancée has different needs that I can't meet right now, like a good job to build a house and get married (we haven't had sex in 4 years because she's a believer and will only do it after marriage - which is fine by me, but clearly, this isn't working).
During this time, other things happened too, like prolonged eye contact between me and this younger sister. There have also been moments of physical intimacy where she puts her legs on mine when we're up late watching TV (which she wouldn't do in front of her mom and sister). But make no mistake, up to this point, we've never done anything. We haven't kissed or anything. There's a lot of loyalty between the parties involved - me, the family, and my fiancée. My fiancée knows about this situation. She seems not to care and says her sister has always seen me as a brother-in-law and possibly a brother. But there was also a moment when I was caressing both, one on my left and the other on my right, and as humans, we know when there's a difference in touch. At some point, I felt a sexual tension between me and her. So, I know she's cautious because we all respect each other. But for me, it's a too conflicting situation. I've taken it to therapy, I've talked to my fiancée, her sister herself knows because I've exposed myself before, and she said, "I don't like him like that," although her actions don't align with that explanation. There are boundaries here that should have been set before, and I'm working on them, but I can't help but think that my feelings are genuine and strong towards this person. I love this family; they mean everything to me. I can't abandon a 4-year relationship with someone I love to be with that person's sister (hurting everyone involved), especially when I'm not sure if we'd have a healthy relationship. Besides, it's unthinkable to imagine what future interactions would be like.
There's something missing in my current relationship. There's no fire, no passion... but I don't know how to make that happen without sex... especially when there's already a sexual tension between me and another human being... please don't blame me, don't blame my sister-in-law, and don't blame the family for us getting to this point. We're humans; we weren't born with a manual. We're poor people trying to achieve happiness without hurting anyone. There are no wrong people here; let's not point fingers. I just can't control my feelings.

For the past two years, I have applied for a PhD abroad. In fact, I've had the chance to speak with a variety of academics, and they all say they think well of me. But I've never succeeded in life. Whenever I inquire about the cause and how to better myself, they consistently respond that it's all down to "luck." It is really rather depressing. I mean, I feel foolish and I know I am not good enough. I even believe that obtaining a PhD is unworthy of me. So why do they inspire hope in me?... Life goes on, and you have to let go of things occasionally. I believe I should quit up now.

Aside from people having to grief your games, there really isn't much to say about hero balances. With the introduction of a volley of new items we can basically build counters for each hero. Of course how balance a game is would depend on your draft and match ups. But an even game 40-50 mins duration game is sooo much fun to play. And supports not being useless by this point lest they build unfavorable items is kinda cool (it even makes Fooking supports have fun).
Point is unless you got brain rotten people, games are kinda enjoyable. Personally Sven has been pretty fun having 1-2 more major items minute 25-30 than enemy makes it rlly strong. But even that gets boring too, hence why I believe patches are essential in keeping this game vibrant and alive. For the next patch (7.36) wether it'd be good or not huge or disappointingly mediocre (hopefully HUGE), it will bring a new variety of novelty to the game which gives me that same high when I first started playing this shitty ahh brain rot game.

I don’t think I’m in the wrong here but alas.
My (22F), mom (44F) and brother (21M) have an odd thing with feces. For instance: my brother lets our dog shit in his bed and will let the shit calcify there for a full week, my mom sends him pictures every day of our dogs shitting, etc. I think it’s strange but it doesn’t really affect me beyond this so I leave them be.
However, about a year ago, my mom, dad, brother, and I went on a hike where my mother lost the plot entirely. We are about about 2 miles through climbing this canyon with 4 hours to go when one of the dogs poops. My mom picks up the poop in a doggie bag and all is well.
I don’t recall how, but my brother and mom got into a minor argument about something. When I say minor argument, I REALLY mean minor. These people are two brick walls who can never be wrong about anything ever. They just take turns gaslighting each other until the situation escalates.
The situation escalated.
My brother proceeded to walk a bit ahead with the dog (I think my mom was irritated he was walking the dog but not holding the poop bag). He is a good ways ahead of her when she proceeds to chuck the bag straight at the back of his head- and misses. My brother is laughing hysterically, I’m laughing, my dad is just trying to enjoy the brilliant desert scenery of the garbage wasteland that is our state. This alone would have been fine.
But it didn’t stop there. For the next mile and a half, my mom proceeded to chuck the bag and hit the center target of the bald spot on my brother’s head with that bag of dog shit. This happened continuously, from a long-range, multiple times.
I’m getting irritated now because I have to sit next to him on the car ride back, and that bag is inevitably going to burst after being knocked around the rocks every time it slops off his head. I tell them this. They keep fucking around.
My mom proceeds to throw again, she hits his head, it EXPLODES. My dad’s pissed, I’m pissed, my brother’s pissed, my mom is about to piss from how hard she’s laughing. We walk the remaining miles in silence (save for my mom laughing) with that dog shit baking on the epicenter of my brother’s dome in the 100 degree heat. My mom had to sit by my brother as penance but the smell was horrific.
Now the issue: I STILL would not be opposed to hiking with my mom and my brother if I believed this was just a one time joke that got out of hand, but see I don’t think it is. My mom openly brags about her aim using that story as an example, and I’ve been telling her after that “I am never gonna hike with yall if u ever do that again,” and she just laughs and talks about how great her aim was.
So now my dad wants to do a family hike. I politely declined. To be clear, I am not pissed off or bitter, the incident makes me laugh seeing as how my brother thought it was funny and my mom didn’t do it out of malice or anything, I just personally don’t want to deal with any of their fuck ass shenanigans while hiking through the fuck ass desert in the name of family bonding. I am content to hear the stories from after if the hike involves someone getting sniper blasted in the dome with feces.
My mom thinks this is unacceptable because hiking is our “family activity.” I told her if she promises to not mishandle shit on this hike I’d come. She proceeds to tell me that I “can’t take a joke” and she “might do it again…you never know.” ???!
So my mom thinks I’m an asshole who’s averse to spending time with my family. My brother just thinks I’m an asshole for leaving him to hike with our parents alone. My dad thinks this is justified and might get my mom to behave. I think I’m an adult and I perchance am not attending an event in which I might contract a venereal disease from the airborne shit particles of my perv ass dog. But this whole situation is unfathomably moronic so what do y’all think?
(Feel free to act out, I would LOVE to show them this lol)

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

I have the 2 Gig Fiber Internet plan (but my devices are capped at 1 GIG).
The problems I am facing are sometimes, Reddit or some random website will just randomly stop working for like 10 seconds, and then my browser will say "CANNOT CONNECT TO SERVER". On my phone, I've noticed sometimes YouTube shorts will buffer a little bit and some videos will buffer for a few seconds. Sometimes Facebook will lag a bit too.
I haven't noticed any issues with streaming services on my TV or playing music on my speakers using AirPlay. Tbh, these are really the only issues, just some websites sometimes randomly refusing to connect, and then 5 seconds later it works.
A little bit of context about my setup: I have the Router that is connected to a switch, which then is wired to 2 Wireless Access Points in my house. The one my laptop and phone are connected to is just outside my bedroom. I don't know if it's the access point that's giving me an issue, it's an EERO 6 PoE Access Point. The router Cox gave me was this one: https://www.cox.com/residential/support/technicolor-cgm4981.html - I also will mention that I am not leasing this, it was just given to me as part of the installation.
Is this router even good? I honestly don't know how bad ISP routers are so if this is actually really garbage I will buy a decent one from Best Buy.

I got the ol’ Grindr bamboozle. This extremely hot guy messaged me and the conversation flowed pretty well and was definitely looking for a hook up. We exchanged albums (essentially a collection of nudes) and started planning for a hook up. He gave me a number and told me to text him, which I did like a fool. He was keeping me engaged and it wasn’t until I said I was home and ready that he revealed himself with threatening screenshots of my nudes being prompted to send to my relatives on FB messenger. There was also a screenshot of my data, which not only included my number, but my mother’s number and my old home landline number as well as listing some of my relatives. He was commanding me to meet his demands and asked me to send him 3 $500 razor gold gift cards. I some how immediately talked him down to $400, but I stalled saying that I was having a panic attack and couldn’t drive to a CVS to get the card. He sent me multiple different sites to buy digital gift cards, but I lied and said that all my credit cards were maxed out and I didn’t have a debit card. I also faked my bank account to show him I had “no money” and he said he’d wait till I got paid at the end of the month. He sent me instructions on how to keep in contact with him and saying if I don’t he’ll send my nudes out.
Tbh I was gambling the dice and started messing with him for my own fun, but tbh I am still pretty shaken this has happened to me. Thank goodness for finding this subreddit! I have some piece of mind and direction on how to proceed. I already signed up for delete me, deleted my Grindr, set all my socials to maximum privacy, and sent a claim on IC3. I
’m feeling much better now, but my biggest worry is my mother’s phone number being apart of that list. I’m not really out to her, and this forcing out of the closet is a nightmare situation from me. I’m planning to ignore the guy, but I’m afraid they are going to start texting her.
I don’t really know if I’m asking advice or venting, but if someone has had a similar situation, it would be nice to hear about it.

TLDR: Narcissistic mother-in-law is going no-contact until she can apologize for ruining mother's day and learn some fucking empathy to her first-time-mom daughter.
Ok daddit, thought I'd share my ongoing story with you all because we all love a good drama bomb.
Context: me & wife = late 30s, married 2 years (together 6) with a 10 month old baby (first child to both families). MIL (mother in law) = late 60s, divorced twice
~a month before Mother's Day~ My wife and I had been renovating the house. Nothing major, but we hired some contractors to extend the length of the living room by removing some walls and making the space bigger. The wife's and Is intentions are to get new furniture for the space and we already have a layout in mind.
Here comes the MIL, who IMMEDAITELY makes opinions on how the space should be decorated AND that we should hire an interior decorator to redesign the space (note, it's just a living room and not THAT big). Would also like to note, she didn't pay for our house and she certainly didn't pay for our renovations.
~the day before mother's day~ Wife and I purchased a couch and have picked out the decor of the living room via our own research, requirements, and the in-store interior designer consultant.
~Mother's Day~ Baby has a 101 fever, but is acting pretty normal all things considered. MIL and extended family are invited over for dinner and exchanging gifts. I shared our couch purchase with one of the family members and MIL IMMEDIATELY makes snide comments such as "the couch is ugly" and "I can't believe you bought that couch". Mind you, she's the one who suggested we get an interior designer, and per the store's consultant the style and color perfectly match what we're looking to do in the room. Wife begins crying and hides herself away from the family because of how her mother made her feel.
At this point, the kiddo is stable so I sit at the table and eat some dinner without the wife (she's in the other room crying). Some small talk among the family. Eventually the baby gets hungry so I move to the living room to feed her (more comfortable than sitting at the dining room table).
No sooner than ~10 minutes later the family begins coming over to tell me goodbye and that they're leaving after being over no more than an hour. Hyper confused, I learned that the MIL was upset that her daughter (my wife) RUINED HER mother's day by being upset at her disrespect and told the family to go home, which they did (probably to avoid drama). Now, I don't know what this "disrespect" was, but I can guarantee it was probably some misplaced motion in her head that we didn't behave the way she was expecting us to and got mad (imagine being rude to your daughter and pretending to be upset she got sad). That night, the MIL ends up texting my wife a storm about how ugly the couch is, how she can't believe we spent renovating the room, and every vitriol under the sun about our decisions over the last month. Surely some form of gaslight targeting my wife's uncertainty with making big decisions.
I also learned later that the MIL was upset that the gift I got my wife for mother's day wasn't sufficient enough and she was CONVINCED I would have forgotten (without any prior history of me forgetting gifts). Not to toot my own horn, but I like to think I've been an amazing dad taking care of my child, AND I asked the wife ahead of time what type of Mother's Day gift she'd want and got her something based on her suggestions. The MIL has this mindset that the more money you spend the more sincere the gift is and that's just not something the wife and I adhere to. We talk to each other, listen to what the other person wants/ needs, and go off of that.
Now, my MIL has a history of narcotism and belittling others by talking down to them, especially to her daughter. I won't bore you all with examples over the years, but lets just say I was absolutely livid. This was my wife's first official mother's day and it was ruined by her mom because she didn't like the couch we bought and somehow our behavior offended her despite her knowing we were going to purchase furniture on our own.
At this point we've told the MIL we aren't talking to her anymore until we're ready to have a sit-down chat (work, sick baby has been keeping us busy). Upon which, I plan on laying it out to her that her behavior about what the wife and I do is none of her business (especially since we're financing everything) and that her unsolicited opinions are grossly inappropriate and not needed. Unfortunately, given the MIL age I don't expect this to have any effect and given how long I've known her, I don't think it's going to make any meaningful progress to her being a better person. I've heard phrases from her saying "well opinions can be given freely" and I have some absolute bombs I am ready to drop on her if I feel the conversation warrants it, but I don't want to go down that road unless no other options are available.
We plan on having a sit down with her soon to talk about her behavior. Though I am convinced she's going to be pretending to be angry to justify her actions. But honestly, I might just tell her to sit on the floor since I know she doesn't like the new couch.
For all the years I've known my wife, I have seen this woman make her cry several times and I've kept my mouth shut. But watching my wife cry on my shoulder in front of our baby on Mother's Day was the final straw. I am absolutely willing to go no-contact and am willing to pay any sitter's cost to avoid relying on the help of my narcissistic MIL. But we need to have that talk and see how things go from there.

So, I have many many questions, as I bought FL studio yesterday My background is in creating symphonic music. I went to college to be be a music educator and after years of college, I have a lot of things ingrained in me from my classical music education. I'm a violinist, educator and composer and that territory comes with some preconceived ideas. It seems common to grab samples off of splice or from packs that were created by someone else. In my normal line of work, everything is done manually and by yourself. Is it normal/accepted to make songs using samples someone else made? (for instance, if I had borrowed something the same way I could for FL studio for a project for symphony orchestra, I would not be able to - in good conscience - say that the piece was 100 percent mine)
When I'm composing normally, I think of everything in terms of form or parts. Like a certain piece of a certain genre might have a certain instrumentation, certain requirements for how the themes are presented and so on. Is there a resource for figuring out the sort of standard parts of the different genres of digital music? In the same light, I've noticed some standard sorts of vocabulary like Leads, Pads, Plucks etc and was wondering if there's somewhere I could just learn all that stuff in one place. I know this is a lot, but I've always loved electronic music and am willing to dive down yet another musical rabbit hole

Hey,
I don't want to waste too much of your time, so I'll keep this short. I know this sounds really cliché, but I've liked you since Grade 7 when we bumped into each other and you fell down. What kept me liking you over the years was your positivity and enthusiasm.
During the early years of high school, you might not remember, but you would invite me to join your group, shout bye to me from across the street, and try to strike up conversations with me. The main reason I was ignoring you was because of my self-confidence issues. I hated my physical appearance and felt that I didn't deserve you as a friend, that you were too good for me. That's why I kept my distance, avoiding and ignoring you. Even now, I try to avoid you because I feel so bad for ignoring you and because of my physical appearance (even though it has gotten better).
Looking back, your smile and positivity really kept me going through my early years in high school. If a friend had ignored me the way I ignored you, I would have given up a long time ago. But you kept trying.
I remember in Pre-Calc 11 when I was sick for two weeks, none of my friends messaged me, but you did. That simple gesture made me really happy. We didn't even talk much at that point.
I'm glad you have so many great friends and that my ignoring didn't impact you too much.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's my fault and not yours and I want to thank you for being such a good friend, and I hope all your dreams and successes come true.

Maximus and Dane are good, they represent the good part of the BOS. Titus and Quintus are evil, they represent the evil in the BOS. In the fallout series we have seen really one time where a BOS chapter has had a morally "good" leader and that was Owen and Shara Lyons, but all of the other leaders have been evil when it comes to the betterment of mankind. Arthur Maxon truly only cares about one thing and that is power and if he were to be given enough power then after he destroyed the institute he would destroy goodneighbor then take resources from Dimond city and he would keep bleeding the commonwealth of its resources until he has bleed it dry. In episode 8 of the fallout tv show the BOS killed a bunch of innocents just to get the cold fusion artifact just because they wanted it for themselves. There are people who want to rebuild humanity but they often don't have just enough power to do that or they have too much infighting or a bit of both. The minutemen of fallout 4 want to rebuild but due to infighting and people just saying that they will "lead" just to get more power just for personal gain or to "sit" on it was the reason why they fell apart. I personally think that the cannon ending to fallout 4 is the minutemen ending and I also think that they destroyed Maxon's chapter of the BOS because they started to go to settlements to demand food and even to hurt people for it, doesn't that make them just glorified raiders? The NCR is good but they stretched themselves way too thin to the point where it was way too easy for spys from other organizations to cause chaos within the government as we saw in fallout new vegas. One good thing about evil factions is that they usually have flaws that can become their downfall in an instant like the Maxon's chapter of the BOS, they can be destroyed by artillery, the Institute is in one single place, if their reactor blows up the they are gone for good. With Mr.house all you need to do is to kill him the his robot army doesn't have anyone to take orders from. I would like to see a the commonwealth become a nation that is defended by the minutemen after they get fixed and I would especially like to see a commonwealth-NCR alliance. All the good guys need is the right people, planning and resources.

Hi folks, my spouse wants you to talk me out of buying a secondhand Mini :)
I have been looking at two -
1) 2008 Cooper Red 3-Door, 250km but the ad says the owner has just completed a whole lot of maintenance inc. new tyres, brakes, water pump, shocks, battery, engine mounts, valve stem seals, suspension and coolant. So it sounds like many of the problems of this gen have been tackled (for now?). I don’t have any other model details yet but for the price and these works, and my purpose is a local runabout for fun, it seems like a good deal. This is for sake direct from the owner.
2) 2007 Cooper labelled R50 but it’s the lovely bumblebee colorway so I think it’s the R56. This has 157km on the clock and ‘full service history’ but scant on details being from a dealer. It’s about $5k more than Option 1.
Both are manual, I only have an automatic license so I’ll need to learn and sit another test. But it’s been my dream to own the yellow and black bumblebee mini since it first came out. I know there’ll be costs but looking to balance the risk - skewed towards lesser problems for my budget. Plus, I don’t want it to cost my marriage! :)
I’ve read lots of similar posts across the Sub, and hope you don’t mind another one.
Thanks in advance!

I guess I fit into the metalhead/alternative category, so I’d love to make friends with a similar aesthetic too if possible, although I’m open to being friends with anyone.
My main hobbies and interests include photography, Warhammer, tattoos (if that qualifies), reptiles/amphibians (although I don’t have any yet), photography gaming and some exercising while listening to metal, drinking coffee, going out for walks and some cosplay. I also like to read and write when I have the time and inspiration. I also haven’t been to the cinema for a long time so that’s a thing I’d be up for doing too, or just going out and having a good time in general. Would also be interested in learning Magic The Gathering if anyone plays that. I also have a PS5 so gaming buddies would be appreciated too.
If any of this sounds interesting, definitely send me a message.

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in *Remake* or OG (at this point in my research, *Rebirth* wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in *Remake* as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond.
And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds
There are a couple of general *FF* rules that we need to establish before going forward.
It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.
Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered *FF* games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a *FF* character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a *FF* game that takes place in a suspension world is *Dissidia Final Fantasy*, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team.
III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics
First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s *Final Fantasy Tactics* (*FFT*), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze!
III. b) i. Fact-Finding
The main character of *FFT*, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs:
\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles:

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly:

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis
There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing.
While *FFT* Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. *FFVII Ultimania Omega* addresses this question without answering it:

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!
*FFT* Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in *FFT* bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by *Remake* Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that *FFT* Cloud and *Remake* Cloud have something in common?
Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, *FFT* Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning *FFT* Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith:

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).
“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration.
On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?
One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in *FTT* is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode.
III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding
In the suspension world of *Dissidia Final Fantasy* (*DFF*), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to *DFF*. Some of these summoned characters are *FFIV*’s Cecil, *FFVI*’s Terra, *FFVII*’s Sephiroth, *FFX*’s Tidus, and of course, *FFVII*’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of *DFF* with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the *DFF* adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end.
Cloud is summoned to *DFF* as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of *FFVII*. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in *DFF* too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos:

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.
Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “*DFF* crystals”. There are ten *DFF* crystals in total: one for every warrior on Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their *DFF* crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals simply take the form the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s *DFF* crystal looks to be nothing more than one of *FFIII*’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s *DFF* crystal looks to be one of *FFIV*’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot-line. Cosmos describes the quest for the *DFF* crystals as follows:

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him.
Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself:

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate:

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together: 

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.
Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of *DFF*. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me **in bold** behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for *FFI*, *FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX*:

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX**: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning**.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX**.**
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII**, in hand.**
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI**.**
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV**.**
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV**. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday**.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII.
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis
Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in *DFF* is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in *FFT*, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during *DFF* and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream.
The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compared him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the *FFVII* OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not *DFF* Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth.
Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeat Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of *FFVII*? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by *FFT* Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the *DFF* segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of *FFVII* OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream.
Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their *DFF* crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent *DFF* Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the [iconic credits video of the original cut of *Advent Children*](https://youtu.be/PqJ8Y8Nd9KE?si=O\_QolO-iNsDmZWR6) to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene:

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.
With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s *DFF* crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of *FFVII*, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s *DFF* crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the [event](https://youtu.be/Wx3duFYCcho?si=Zg332l6dMLwpZMF2&t=150) (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in *FFVII*, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated:

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the materia so you can compare for yourself:
https://preview.redd.it/0qtumfeyfq0d1.jpg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3995f010738c83fca0c5842a0564d0a9ad206dfd
https://preview.redd.it/0kj525tzfq0d1.jpg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575573ef1d2c937635cf569d4a376886a24b384c
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal
So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (*FFT* and *DFF*), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on *DFF*, it may interest you to know that codirector of the *Remake* trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for *DFF*: he may have carried some themes from *DFF* to *Remake*…
III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition
Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 *Final Fantasy* 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different *FF* games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated *Remake* was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the *FFVII* section of the expo featured a few sneak peek *Remake* designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the *Remake* trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the *FFVII* section of the expo related to *Remake*. Let’s dive in!
Unsurprisingly, the focus of the *FFVII* section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the *FFVII* portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death:
Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.
The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of *FFVII*‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet:

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…
In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between *FFT* (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this post.