My mom dating

Hi there,
I've been slowly deconstructing my relationship with men & decentering them the past couple of years through therapy. Through it all, I came to the realisation that I was apparently WAY more sapphic than I thought. (Thank you Masterdoc!)
TW: domestic violence
When I was around 12 my mom left my dad for a woman & was beaten because of it in front of my eyes. The next years were very traumatic, and the woman my mom chose wasn't great either - she had anger outbursts. I didn't realise it at the time but it prevented me to access my attraction to women for years. I'm 33 now and dating a woman for the first time.
Added to that was compulsory heterosexuality, mixed with a disastrous paternal/maternal model of relationship. I spent years and years chasing male attention - I had seen my mom doing it her whole life. I fell madly in love (or at least I though it was love) with unavailable men who were distant & put all of my energy into being accepted and loved by them. Eeek.
But the more I deconstructed my very traumatic childhood, the less I seemed to be interested in men. The past year, I've noticed myself not giving a fuck about whether they're attracted to me, and being annoyed by the seemingly endless waves of men who see me as a sexy thing and not a full person.
This week, I told mysel that I didn't have to date men for the rest of my life if I didn't want to and felt a huge amount of relief. I'm also in the very early stages of dating a lovely gal, and I'm surprised at how... Nice it feels? Usually at this stage of a relationship with a man I'm an anxious mess who can't sleep & is obsessing about the person, betraying my own needs.
This time, it feels nice and smooth. I'm not putting my life on pause, I'm just adding a new element to it. I'm not anxiously waiting for a text, as sign. Whether this particular relationship works out or not I'm just so relieved. I'm finally understanding that dating can be nice for me.
Curious to hear if this echoes some of you gals and NB pals experience? This is truly life-changing for me so I'm still reeling from it.

I (F, 24) just got out of school 2 years ago. I’m living my best life, travelling and going out often with my friends, working from home without doing any chores (because my mom doesn’t work anymore and we do hire a helper to clean the house every weekend), and I am just enjoying my own money because I could buy whatever I want. My last long term relationship was 3 years ago, we also lasted for 3 years. Hindi na ako nagka-jowa after. Sabi ko, kapag 28 na lang kapag mag aasawa na ako. Not until things went serious with the guy (who is now my boyfriend) I was dating. We clicked and okay naman ang career path namin pareho. Honestly, I don’t think we would end up together. But things happen.. and I got pregnant. At first, I didn’t want to continue the pregnancy. After 3 days of overthinking, I finally accepted that I am having a baby and my life is going to change. So yeah, I didn’t experience the adulting part where I have to live on my own, prepare my own meals… etc. Although, nagbabayad naman ako ng bills at nagg-grocery. Still, ang bilis ng transition. In a few months, I’ll be a parent. Yung ibang kamag anak namin sasabihin, ang aga ko naman mag anak. (Ako pinakamaaga magkaka anak saming magkakapatid). Or sasabihin nila, in-enjoy ko muna sana ang single life ko. But you know what? Fuck it. I’m already pregnant and ayoko na magkaron ng what ifs… Ayoko maisip ng anak ko pagtanda nya kung worth it ba na pinanganak ko sya ng maaga, ayoko na mafeel nya na kailangan nya i-prove yung sarili nya na he is worth having. I want my child to have a good life like my parents gave me. If anything happens, like if me and my SO ever break up, I’ll make sure that my son gets to live the life he deserves. Today, I just finally and fully accepted that I am going to be a mother. Yung walang takot, walang what ifs. I can’t wait to see you, my little one!

Hello everyone, i’m new here but i’ll get right to the point. My girlfriend and i have been dating for over a year, and a few months ago i found a post she made where she asked for people to dm her to “have some fun”. I was heart broken. When i confronted her, she told me she was just extremely horny and because she had the week off but i didn’t, she didn’t want to bother e with her needs. I told her that what she did shatters y trust in her and honestly it still hurts now just trying to type this all out. She apologized profusely and said she’d never do it again, and i believed her. For a few months we were ok, that was until this morning. I spend the night sometimes (she still lives with her mom and i with my dad) and when she was in the shower this morning, i did something i know wasn’t good. I looked through her phone. I had done it a few times after i found out she cheated the first time, because my trust in her hadn’t fully come back. I found that she made another post, this time less graphic but still had the words “honey friends” in it. I don’t really know what to to now. I’ve put so much time and effort i to this relationship, she goes to the same college as me and we just started talking about getting an apartment together. i don’t know what to do, i feel so lost and i don’t want to leave her, but how do i talk to her? Thank you for reading.

I'm 23F and I've had a crush on this guy 22M for about two months, we went out twice and really hit it off but then he said he has some unresolved commitment issues when I bought up the idea of a serious relationship so I stopped talking to him.
I hit him up two days ago and the spark was still there, we talked for hours on call and he said he likes me too but his mom wants him to marry someone from his own hometown in the future. We're both from the same hometown just different areas and different family lives (my parents are seperated), I told him we should talk about this in person and then take the decision of whether or not we should get in a committed relationship, and he agreed.
For context I like this guy a lot and we have almost everything in common, when we meet up we end up laughing for hours and I feel really safe around him, I've had a traumatizing love life and I really don't want to mess things up with him.
Should I just let the idea of getting married to him in the future go or should I pursue him to date me and see where it goes? Or should I let the fact that his mom won't accept me or any other girl except for her choice be his future wife stop me from falling in love with him?
P.S English isn't my first language, and controlling parents are normal in where I'm from but I think it's a bit too much especially in this day and age, considering his mom married his dad against her family's wishes aswell :)

Hello friends!
Over the last few weeks I posted about my coworker who decided to throw out my personal items from my locker and replace it with Plexus garbage.
For those of you wanting more context start here:
TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of cancer, eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/antiMLM/s/DKtg3tPztv
Part 2 : https://www.reddit.com/antiMLM/s/W3mDFhdZOt
———————————
So on to the finale!! It’s a long one!!
Quick recap: I am a night shifter security guard and have struggled with EDs the majority of my life and am very self conscious about my body and how I look. I keep crystal light and some snacks in my locker for when I need a little pick me up mid shift or if I want some juice instead of water. My personal items were removed from my locker and thrown out and replaced with Plexus weight loss garbage.
Buckle up everyone, here we go!!
I was paid back for the stuff she threw out. She handed me the money in front of our manager who for the record was not impressed she had to be on site at 8pm to make sure it was done. Our manager is a no-nonsense Slavic woman who hails from the same region I do - so I’m very familiar with the attitude 😂. So needless to say, having to show up at site on a Tuesday at 8pm when she’s an early to bed early to rise type was already a bad thing.

• There was an investigation into the theft from my locker which was concluded by statements from 3 people who are unrelated to my company, who recognized the items to be mine since they saw me bring them in. IT was able to recover footage of her opening my locker and putting items into a small dark bag. The IT guy said it looked like a dog-poo bag 😂. Unfortunately the footage wasn’t super clear but it’s very obvious it’s my locker door because I have a big sticker of a holographic beetle on the door (it was there before I started working here).
  
• My coworker was fired as well as had her licence pulled by the solicitor general who is our issuing body of licences. To my understanding she has a 10 year bar on re-applying for her security licence.
  
• The other two guards who left because of her were contacted and were able to give approximate dates of the same nonsense she pulled on me and there was footage recovered from that too. They also gave statements to the manager about what happened to them.
  
• The building owner we provide services for did file for charges but it’s a civil matter and probably won’t be pursued by the courts because the amount was under $500. I’m not sure what’s going on there. That’s between my company and the building we provide the services for. Also I don’t want any part in that more than I need to be involved.
  
• The lawyer-hun was terminated from her employer for unethical practices as well as encouraging the “replacement of items” aka theft. After the incident went down and she was told not to contact security for anything besides immediate emergent situations (after hours maintenance situations, safe-walks), we got a new guard and she went full on hun-bot and tried to recruit her. The new guard is an immigrant and mlms aren’t something that’s really a thing in her country so she’s a hun-bot dream come true. The new guard came to me and asked me some oddly specific questions about certain products and I was caught off guard at first and then my blood boiled, I forced myself to quickly calm down and asked her where she heard that crap. She confided in me and I told her about what’s going on with the situation and she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she signed up with one of the mlms lawyer hun was shilling. I helped her get in contact with our manager so she could help her with that. I’ve since had a sit down with the law association people and have made a sworn statement at their request. She’s currently suspended from all practice pending investigation by the law association. My statement was taken on the basis that if they find anything that proves ground for prosecution it can be used in court.
  
• Our lockers have been switched out for ones with dial locks on them. The only people who have the combinations is the locker holder (us individual guards and our manager). It’s kinda nice because it’s a wider locker and now I don’t have to Tetris my duty items into it to get the door closed.
  

If there’s anything I can say as a take away for anyone in a similar situation at their workplace - be brave and be confident in reporting it. Document everything in relation to the MLM crap - paper trails are your friend. If you’re unsure of how to approach the topic with a manager find someone you trust and are comfortable with (preferably an outside source. Eg: mom or dad, sibling, friend) and have a mock-manageemployee-conversation with them about the situation. I know not all managers are good and some are absolute crap - report it and then send an email to them with a “just to recap what we spoke about on _______ date at _____ time.” If that goes nowhere, most companies have an anonymous whistle blower hotline - call them if you’re comfortable doing so.
Good luck to anyone dealing with this!

I can’t really press what this is going to be down into a simple name. I don’t know if I’m just becoming an adult or if this is all some manic episode or what. I’m a 20 f and recently I’ve realized I’m a really shitty person. I’ve struggled with mental health since I was 11. Things really took a turn for the worse when I was 15. It’s as if nothing was real to me. Literally not a moment of time was spent in reality, with the rest of the world. Even when my actions had consequences, I didn’t care because it didn’t make me feel anything too deeply. When I was 16, I started hanging around a group of older men ( 20, 24, 27). They would humiliate me, string me along, sexually abuse me. But they were my only friends. Even though they abused me, I didn’t care. Because even though I knew the gravity of the situation, I didn’t understand it or care. It didn’t hit. Sometimes I even indulged them consensually. What’s sick is I could tell they preferred it when I wasn’t playing along. I don’t have definitive proof that it was them but one day I hung out with them. We smoked a joint and they drank. I had a juice. I started to feel unwell so I left. I got lost on the way home. When I finally got home, my parents and grandmother were there waiting for me. My dad started yelling at me. We had gotten into an argument earlier that day and he had thrown me out. But now I was back and he was still mad. My heart started racing. I became super irate. Angry and scared and a whole bunch of emotions in a quick flash. He kept yelling and he got in my face. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and screamed that if he didn’t stop yelling we would all regret it. He lunged for the knife and we wrestled for it. He cut his finger and I let go. He immediately lunged at me and started hitting me in the face. When he stopped, my mom came at me and began to hit me as well. He screamed that he would have me arrested and I spit on him. I don’t even really know what came over me. But I was baker acted and then arrested. At the hospital, they confirmed that I had date rape drugs in my system. The doctor told me she’d release me so I could get passed my time in jail as quickly as possible. There was a lot more I wanted to get into but that was more exhausting and longer than I thought it would be. The point is lately I’ve been faced with how real everything was. What I did. And the things that happened to me were all real. But for the first time in my life, I don’t want to talk about it. Not to a therapist or my family. Or to my boyfriend. For the first time I just want to suffer alone. If anyone cares enough to read it this wasn’t really all I wanted to say, it was really just context. But I can make another post with the rest. I just might because writing is the only way I feel comfortable talking about this anymore.

I have a bf and we’ve been together for almost 8 years. We have a 3-year age gap.
I started to have a stable job right after passing the boards. While he was struggling to get a decent job even after passing his boards years ago. He started working in a bank as a helper. His superior saw great potential on him and suggested that he should apply for a stable position at the bank and so he did. He passed and is now working in a government owned bank.
Dati, dahil ako yung mas nakakaluwag sagot ko almost everything. Dahil he’s always on a strict budget, I almost always pay for everything. Not that I complain. Offer ko naman yun dahil para sakin give and take naman yan. Now that he’s earning more than I am, I feel like money changed him. Hindi siya madamot o anything, pero minsan feeling ko oo.
One time we went out for a late dinner and while we’re on our way home, nadaanan namin si mama naghihintay ng masasakyan. So I asked him if it’s okay na ihatid si mama since sasakyan niya gamit namin that time hindi yung akin. He nodded and went silent since then. Bago sumakay si mama nagsorry ako and told him na magttransfer na lang ako ng pang-gas dahil kinabukasan magpapagas na siya. Nagulat ako dahil nawala siya bigla sa mood.
Sumama loob ko dahil nung 1st year nyang nakabukod, he’s always at our house. Literally everyday. Parang sa bahay na siya nakatira. We didn’t hear anything from my mom kahit wala siyang inabot kahit piso. Sa umaga lagi pa siyang kasama sa pinapabaunan ng lunch ni mama. Hindi sa nanunumbat pero.. do you guys get the point o mali ako? Hayy..
One time meron yung sabi ko nagugutom ako and I want papaitan. Nagalit amp sininghalan ako at sabing “wala na nga akong pera e!” Tapos nagbugnot. Pero ayaw naman tanggapin yung share konf bayad pag nag aabot at transfer ako binabalik.
Nung dating maliit pa lang sahod niya wala siyang problema magsabi sakin kung magkano sinahod or bonus pag napag usapan. Samantalang ngayon, hindi na makapagbigay ng figure.
Idk why pero feeling ko mapag aawayan namin yung pera pag kami yung nagkatuluyan at wala akong sariling income..

My BF (32m) and I (28f) have been together for nearly 5 years now and have lived together for nearly 3 years. Yet my family keeps acting like he doesn't exist.
For some background: my mom and I have a rocky relationship since we started dating because "she felt like I was leaving her behind"(her words). My mom threw me out after an argument, so my bf and his family helped me pack my stuff and we moved in to our appartment together. It took a year for her and I to reconnect but during that time, my mom spread a whole lot of nonsense to anyone who would listen about how my BF was a villain and I was an ungrateful child that got swayed away to God knows where. Due to this there were a lot of family events where I would be invited but he would not even be mentionned even as we had already been living together and dating for over 3 years back then.
Now on to the actual story: My cousin (M29) who I grew up with got married last year to his wife (25f). My BF had already been officially introduced to them as my BF and they had been around eachother and all laughing together at small family gatherings. BUT Both of them knew and had met him long before I ever did. They weren't friends but my cousin met and saw him at several events and his wife actually went on a first date with him years ago through a dating app. They never saw eachother again after the one date due to personal preferences and because she was much younger than he thought she was.
They didn't invite him to their wedding claiming they didn't know him but there were people there that they didn't even know personally. No one said anything or asked why he wasn't invited. Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that you can and should invite only those you want on your big day, but them pretending they didn't know him did something to me.
Then a couple months after their wedding they had a baby. Despite sending messages I only met my nephew on new-years eve, nearly a year later after everyone else had met him. And then I heard stories about how they told other people that I never showed any interest in their baby. Now a month ago they sent me an invite for his 1st birthday, they did not include my BF and asked me if I knew if my family (mom and brothers) would be there. I had to remind them that I don't know since I haven't lived with my mom and brothers for over 2 years. My nephew got sick so the party got canceled. Now that baby is better and my cousin's bday is coming up they made a whatsapp group inviting their side of the family, my mom, brothers and me but again, no mention of my BF. My BF hasn't shown in anyway that he cares but I'm starting to be worried that there really is something wrong.
I don't know if maybe I should talk to my cousin and ask if something is going on or if I'm just missenterpreting things.
So, AITH?
Ps. Please be kind in the comments, I'm not trying to start an all out war.

For context I callmy step dad (dad) and i call my actuall dad buche cause i never knew him like a father alight thats it
Well i got alot tbh that i dont even know where to start. Well ig first im already in my 20’s and it all started to go downhill since i was 7 my dad got deported to salvador for hitting my mom and fighting so loud that the cops came cause the neighbors called them. But before that i had told my dad to stop hitting my mom ( me trying to defend my mom the only way i could but i can only remember i was scared for my life ) and he scram at me telling me to stfu cause im not even his kid
In that moment everything went blank i was confused and flabbergasted not knowing what was coming after this
I remember running down the hall to the apartment complex next to us where out aunt lived (this was before the cops got here) we where getting away from him because he told us he had a gun and he was going to kill all of us and them him self cause he wasn’t going to let a slut do whatever she wanter with his kids ( my mom told us years later that in the months before he had started to use cocaine with one of her uncles and he had guns always and thats probably wher he got that bs from)
After he left everything got harder and we would barely see my mom she would work up to 2 jobs in the day and in the night she would work as a bar tender in cantinas witch to say the least its a horrible job But she did wtv to get us ahead Until one day i got courios of who was my real dad and u asked my mom all she told me was that he was really young when they where dating and that he ditched when she was pregnant with me She had never mentioned him before and i had never asked but i was always courious since the day my dad got deported i had messaged him on facebook and we started to text and i asked him to meet up and he agreed
(I went to his house this was when i was around 11 or 12 ) i had went to his house it was a nice big house with 4 rooms a pool and the whole thing while me my mom and my 2 brothers and my 2 uncles and there families where living in a 3 room apartment to say i was jealous is an understatement but i keep my cool especially since i had not even seen him much since he had spent his whole time in his room wich was weird cause he had said over text that he wanted to have a talk bu wtv after all that i was annoyed especially since i had told him i was going to miss a day of work if i went to see him(since it was summer and i would work with my uncle ) but he had told me he would take me to get my hair cut and would give me my days worth of pay and at the end he didn’t even have de audacity to take me to get my hair cut but anyways at the end of the day i never needed him
Well after that my mom got sick we where living with my uncle in a house and since there was problems between his wife and us and then they found out i smoked weed they decided to move and we had till the end of the contract to see what to do i started to work and left school and tbh for a while stuff seemed to go well i was making alot in remodeling for my age and i was going up in the ranks but when job went down and people started being let go i was fucked cause i had no money saved so i lost my job car and was close to losing our apartment but i got job again and kept us aflot tbh there is alot more to this but depends how this go il goninto more details but yhea just glad to chare a lil of what has happend to me

I know it’s a long story but if anyone reads it all… may you be forever blessed 😭
26F in the US, working since 15, first in casual food service. Got into fine dining shortly after and by 21 had worked in 6+ restaurants. I was a job hopper, young and far too entitled. I saw early on that I was great at fine dining and restaurants are easy to move through. Then Covid hit and I was jobless.
The next 2.5 yrs I ran a cleaning LLC w/ my mom then got into office work. Even then I never stayed anywhere longer than 6-9 months. Most recently, I took a 9-5 office job in Dec. At the same time, my life started to fall apart. My live in boyfriend and I split a week before I started. February began an awful period of issues with my mom, who was on my lease at the time. Then I drained my savings for vet bills only to be told my cat has terminal kidney failure. March I was in the ER or doc 6x for a neck injury from ‘22. Finally, my boss got fed up mid April and let me go. The day before I signed a new lease to escape my mother.
It’s been a month, I’m behind on bills and in a deep depression. I also have diagnosed adhd/autism and lupus. Not excuses, just important factors. Ive got every gig app, dd/uber denied me for a speeding ticket 4yrs ago and flex/spark/shipt/etc are full. Only degree is high school. I’ve got 6yrs in restaurants, 6yrs clerical/business, 3yrs cleaning and 4yrs management within that.
I also stupidly let my brother edit my resume and it’s quite “enhanced” now. He took my 4 longest/best jobs, moved the dates and heavily padded the specifics... it’s a stretch.
If you managed to follow that insanity.. my main concerns are making my resume accurate but presentable, and any tips for where to go from here. Im open to more school but no idea what I’d do. Also not “above” any job. I need to make min $17.50/hr @ 40hrs. I’m committed to working hard but feel so lost and ashamed of my history. I know I can’t change the past but I can do better going forward.
My parents weren’t great examples of responsibility so I’m doing what I can to teach myself. I appreciate anyone’s empathy and guidance.

I know it’s a long story but if anyone reads it all… may you be forever blessed 😭
26F in the US, working since 15, first in casual food service. Got into fine dining shortly after and by 21 had worked in 6+ restaurants. I was a job hopper, young and far too entitled. I saw early on that I was great at fine dining and restaurants are easy to move through. Then Covid hit and I was jobless.
The next 2.5 yrs I ran a cleaning LLC w/ my mom then got into office work. Even then I never stayed anywhere longer than 6-9 months. Most recently, I took a 9-5 office job in Dec. At the same time, my life started to fall apart. My live in boyfriend and I split a week before I started. February began an awful period of issues with my mom, who was on my lease at the time. Then I drained my savings for vet bills only to be told my cat has terminal kidney failure. March I was in the ER or doc 6x for a neck injury from ‘22. Finally, my boss got fed up mid April and let me go. The day before I signed a new lease to escape my mother.
It’s been a month, I’m behind on bills and in a deep depression. I also have diagnosed adhd/autism and lupus. Not excuses, just important factors. Ive got every gig app, dd/uber denied me for a speeding ticket 4yrs ago and flex/spark/shipt/etc are full. Only degree is high school. I’ve got 6yrs in restaurants, 6yrs clerical/business, 3yrs cleaning and 4yrs management within that.
I also stupidly let my brother edit my resume and it’s quite “enhanced” now. He took my 4 longest/best jobs, moved the dates and heavily padded the specifics... it’s a stretch.
If you managed to follow that insanity.. my main concerns are making my resume accurate but presentable, and any tips for where to go from here. Im open to more school but no idea what I’d do. Also not “above” any job. I need to make min $17.50/hr @ 40hrs. I’m committed to working hard but feel so lost and ashamed of my history. I know I can’t change the past but I can do better going forward.
My parents weren’t great examples of responsibility so I’m doing what I can to teach myself. I appreciate anyone’s empathy and guidance.

I recently got into a relationship with a girl I have no information on. I didnt know her history, past, or anything. i only slid into her dms because she went to school with one of my friends. from the get go i knew she had mental illness issues. maybe insecurities or anxiety or something, but i mean everyone does. i’m an over thinker and have my own issues like anxiety as well. but in the start of the relationship i told her i wanted to commit to her. she said i needed to show her that i was different than all the other guys, and i really did try. i stopped talking to other girls and only to her and devoted time and energy to her. one week into it i see her post a story time on her spam about how she tried to kiss a guy at a bar and he denied her. i confronted her about it and wanted to end things and she said she was truly sorry and my girl friends even said it sounded legit. so i gave her another chance(keep in mind we were not official yet). then after like two to three weeks after we started dating she turned out to be pregnant. i was like wtf but upon reading it turned out that the pregnancy most likely happened before we went out on the date that started it all. over time i’ve learned about her, based on what she’s told me. she had an abusive ex who hit her and it was hard for her to leave him. i’m the guy that she’s with after him. she’s confided some personal stuff about her parents and how she was raised and it wasn’t perfect, not even baseline good. it’s sad. her parents hated each other and eventually divorced. the mom is depressed and the dad is engaged to another woman that she hates. the parents are well off though so she lives comfortably. anyways over time she’s shown that she get jealous very easily and made me unfollow my ex. she doesn’t like the fact that i have so many female friends but she says that that’s something that she needs to work over. i admired that. she doesn’t have that many friends (to my knowledge) so i never stressed really. but as the weeks have gone by i realized that she’s met almost all of my friends but i haven’t met anyone besides her 1 sort of friend. she’s gone out maybe like 4 times and she’s never invited me, but i always invite her out. now i get it, maybe her girlfriends don’t wanna have a random boyfriend ruining the fun, sure whatever i made peace with that. but the reason i write this post today is because this morning (yesterday) she took a trip to vegas. she went with her best friend from high school and like 2 guys friends that she has. i never like this idea but i knew it was my insecurities that were getting in the way. i tried to push the insecurity/jealousy down but i couldn’t help it so i called my friend that we had in common. i asked him if he knew anything about her and her past and he starts to tell me that she confided in him that she almost cheated on her ex (he was allegedly abusive) and it turns out that the body count that she gave me was half of what the real number was. he tells me that she’s a player and that she just wants me around so that i can make her feel good. fuck. that really didnt help at all. after getting off the phone with him i realized that i have 0 trust in her. am i crazy? i want to end things but he said that maybe she’s changed but i highly doubt it. sorry if the format is bad. i’m using my phone and its like about to give out.
Tl;Dr Learned things about a girl that I’m dating and have lost trust in her.

Long story short, I’m 26 and the grandson is 34. I never thought about going for someone with that big of an age gap, but I’ve thought about how is just a number, especially when you approach your later 20s. And as I get older, 30 and 35 don’t seem as old as I thought they were. I’m not opposed to being introduced to someone that I know mutually through someone else, but here’s the tricky part of it: his grandmother is also my patient. And at first I didn’t think she was being serious, and so I kindly declined. But as the days went on, she continued to bring it up. And part of me didn’t see it as a big deal, but I don’t exactly have guys lining up for me. But I also took it as a compliment, that she holds me to such high regard, to want me to even meet her grandson. I’ve been told I don’t put myself out there, but is anyone ever perfectly okay with potentially making a fool of themself trying to meet someone organically? Anyway, back to the grandson….normally if it was neighbor trying to set me up with their grandson, I’d be less hesitant, but since it involves a patient’s family member, I feel like major ethical concerns come into play. But also idk if he’s even agreed to do it either. Because at first I said no, but now I feel like I’m shooting my shot but not taking her up on her offer. And call me crazy, but what if I’m stepping in the way of meeting my dare you say…soulmate? Because this grandma (love her dearly, I’m actually quite close with her) is 94, so she knows a thing or two, especially with how well she knows her grandson. And she said I’m just his type. And I know she talks about both of us to one another, she’s literally trying to set us up. And like I said, I’m not sure if he agreed to meeting me. But through all the thoughts I’ve had, I keep coming back to how hard it is to meet someone nowadays, and how sometimes being set up actually works out. My parents started dating by my mom asking a mutual friend of her’s and my dad, if he wanted to go to a party with her. He agreed and after that party, they started dating. So they were age 16 and they’re 59 now, so you do the math. In the few weeks of this going on, the times he’s been visiting her, I’m always busy at that same time with other patients, so we end up missing each other. And I hope she didn’t tell him that I’m hiding, because I’m literally not hiding…except one time when I could hear her calling out about me from down the hall “there she is!”. I felt so awkward being singled out like that, I literally walked into a random room, not thinking they would be coming down the hall and passing me in the room. FML. And as they passed by the room, she shouted “there she is!” again FML 😭 I’m also not trying to come off desperate if I agree to meet him, but what if he wasn’t even on board to begin with. And then I just look Iike fool who agreed to meet him, even though I’m caring for his grandmother. Is that cringe? Men: what should I do? Would you agree if you were the grandson?

I be reading stories on this sub-Reddit about how some people have a Lebanese mom and foreign dad, have lived their lives in Lebanon, but don’t hold a Lebanese passport. They speak our language, know the traditions, know the country up and down, literally as Lebanese as you can get but isn’t Lebanese?! I find that shit kind of stupid.
The solution is easy, change the law to allow women to grant their kids/spouse citizenship (btw all Arab countries are the same, only men can give citizenship to their kids/wife) but as usual their is a problem. As a lot of people pointed out allowing women to give the passport means that you will see a lot (I mean anyone living illegally here) of men hear (mostly Syrians and Palestinians) marry a Lebanese women, and as a lot of people pointed out, we are extremely out dated to the point that parents here literally force their daughters to marry someone (Lebanese or not) for $$$. So you can see the problem illegals here will give the parents a lot of money to marry their daughters and then get the passport and live here legally.
Now this normally wouldn’t be a problem, America does it, Britain does it, literally every European country does it, but it is. Granting millions of Syrians and Palestinians citizenship would literally change the whole demographic of Lebanon. The political problems of Lebanon will grow, and there would be more naturalized Lebanese citizens than normal Lebanese citizens. So essentially Lebanon will be Syria 2.0 or Palestine 2.0 (depending on the amount of people) and the identity of Lebanon would seize to exist. I mean look at America for example they don’t have a national dish or any thing national because they are very diverse (but they are built by immigrants), look at Britain they are starting to kick immigrants to Rwanda, etc…
Now going to back to women being able to citizenship, my view is simple, I would make a law that would allow her to pass citizenship to her kids but not her spouse but will allow her to apply for him for residency. So essentially he wouldn’t be able to vote or anything political but would allow him to work and make money as any Lebanese would to support his family. His kids will be able to get citizenship which I think is fair as they live in Lebanon, went to school here, learn the history of this country, then they are Lebanese. This only works if they are born here and live here.
Now if the kids are born abroad, and the family doesn’t live in Lebanon but the mom still wants to give citizenship to the kids, then I would make a law that would allow them to get the passport once they turn 18. As they are out of the country, and won’t be in a Lebanese school or anything like that, there is no point in giving them citizenship at birth. At 18 they would have the option to go to Lebanon and apply for one if they like.
Honestly I would say that’s the best way to fix our citizenship law with out swinging Lebanons political system and not changing our traditions.

Long story short, I’m 26 and the grandson is 34. I never thought about going for someone with that big of an age gap, but I’ve thought about how is just a number, especially when you approach your later 20s. And as I get older, 30 and 35 don’t seem as old as I thought they were. I’m not opposed to being introduced to someone that I know mutually through someone else, but here’s the tricky part of it: his grandmother is also my patient. And at first I didn’t think she was being serious, and so I kindly declined. But as the days went on, she continued to bring it up. And part of me didn’t see it as a big deal, but I don’t exactly have guys lining up for me. But I also took it as a compliment, that she holds me to such high regard, to want me to even meet her grandson. I’ve been told I don’t put myself out there, but is anyone ever perfectly okay with potentially making a fool of themself trying to meet someone organically? Anyway, back to the grandson….normally if it was neighbor trying to set me up with their grandson, I’d be less hesitant, but since it involves a patient’s family member, I feel like major ethical concerns come into play. But also idk if he’s even agreed to do it either. Because at first I said no, but now I feel like I’m shooting my shot but not taking her up on her offer. And call me crazy, but what if I’m stepping in the way of meeting my dare you say…soulmate? Because this grandma (love her dearly, I’m actually quite close with her) is 94, so she knows a thing or two, especially with how well she knows her grandson. And she said I’m just his type. And I know she talks about both of us to one another, she’s literally trying to set us up. And like I said, I’m not sure if he agreed to meeting me. But through all the thoughts I’ve had, I keep coming back to how hard it is to meet someone nowadays, and how sometimes being set up actually works out. My parents started dating by my mom asking a mutual friend of her’s and my dad, if he wanted to go to a party with her. He agreed and after that party, they started dating. So they were age 16 and they’re 59 now, so you do the math. In the few weeks of this going on, the times he’s been visiting her, I’m always busy at that same time with other patients, so we end up missing each other. And I hope she didn’t tell him that I’m hiding, because I’m literally not hiding…except one time when I could hear her calling out about me from down the hall “there she is!”. I felt so awkward being singled out like that, I literally walked into a random room, not thinking they would be coming down the hall and passing me in the room. FML. And as they passed by the room, she shouted “there she is!” again FML 😭 I’m also not trying to come off desperate if I agree to meet him, but what if he wasn’t even on board to begin with. And then I just look Iike fool who agreed to meet him, even though I’m caring for his grandmother. Is that cringe? Men: what should I do? Would you agree if you were the grandson? Women: feel free to chime in as well.

Long story short, I’m 26 and the grandson is 34. I never thought about going for someone with that big of an age gap, but I’ve thought about how is just a number, especially when you approach your later 20s. And as I get older, 30 and 35 don’t seem as old as I thought they were. I’m not opposed to being introduced to someone that I know mutually through someone else, but here’s the tricky part of it: his grandmother is also my patient. And at first I didn’t think she was being serious, and so I kindly declined. But as the days went on, she continued to bring it up. And part of me didn’t see it as a big deal, but I don’t exactly have guys lining up for me. But I also took it as a compliment, that she holds me to such high regard, to want me to even meet her grandson. I’ve been told I don’t put myself out there, but is anyone ever perfectly okay with potentially making a fool of themself trying to meet someone organically? Anyway, back to the grandson….normally if it was neighbor trying to set me up with their grandson, I’d be less hesitant, but since it involves a patient’s family member, I feel like major ethical concerns come into play. But also idk if he’s even agreed to do it either. Because at first I said no, but now I feel like I’m shooting my shot but not taking her up on her offer. And call me crazy, but what if I’m stepping in the way of meeting my dare you say…soulmate? Because this grandma (love her dearly, I’m actually quite close with her) is 94, so she knows a thing or two, especially with how well she knows her grandson. And she said I’m just his type. And I know she talks about both of us to one another, she’s literally trying to set us up. And like I said, I’m not sure if he agreed to meeting me. But through all the thoughts I’ve had, I keep coming back to how hard it is to meet someone nowadays, and how sometimes being set up actually works out. My parents started dating by my mom asking a mutual friend of her’s and my dad, if he wanted to go to a party with her. He agreed and after that party, they started dating. So they were age 16 and they’re 59 now, so you do the math. In the few weeks of this going on, the times he’s been visiting her, I’m always busy at that same time with other patients, so we end up missing each other. And I hope she didn’t tell him that I’m hiding, because I’m literally not hiding…except one time when I could hear her calling out about me from down the hall “there she is!”. I felt so awkward being singled out like that, I literally walked into a random room, not thinking they would be coming down the hall and passing me in the room. FML. And as they passed by the room, she shouted “there she is!” again FML 😭 I’m also not trying to come off desperate if I agree to meet him, but what if he wasn’t even on board to begin with. And then I just look Iike fool who agreed to meet him, even though I’m caring for his grandmother. Is that cringe? Men: what should I do? Would you agree if you were the grandson? Women are free to chime in as well.

As the title says, I am a 26 year old female finally leaving my parents home. For some background, went to undergrad out of state. But came back home for medical school. Since my parents were only 20min away from my institution, I decided to move back home as I thought it made the most sense (plus I missed my parents dearly).
Now, however, I recently matched into residency 6 hours away in a different state and it’s bittersweet.
Sweet because finally are my dreams coming true. Finally I can mold my life into what I envisioned for myself. I’m moving to my dream city that I feel will influence me to be the best form of myself. I can actually now start living. I have a job, have an income, and can start living.
BUT in the same breath, my parents are my best friend. I genuinely only hang out with them, often turning down invites from friends to do things with them. I miss them when they’re away. I look forward to our lunch and dinner dates. I call my mom at least 3x a day. Any advice or venting session is with them. I never needed anyone else to “talk to” about my problems, because they’re all I need. This won’t be the case anymore. Most days, it’ll just be phonecalls or facetimes. But the dinner dates will be few and far in between, often limited to a weekend or a holiday.
Second, my parents have been seperated for a decade - living in two seperate homes. They co-parent very well. My dad would come by the house everyday to hang out. But with me moving out (living in our childhood home w/ mom), my dad won’t have that need anymore. He has moved on with his life (he doesn’t talk about his dating life, but im sure he has a “lady friend”), has hobbies, increased investment with his job, etc. and at baseline has always been a more hands-off, reserved parent. So I’m not worried about him.
But my mom, she’ll be living in our house all by herself. I’ve slept in the bed with her everyday and now she has to sleep alone. Our weekend rituals and lunch dates will be no more. She has been trying to form an identity outside of being a mother with community service and leadership roles, went back and got her doctorate and is transitioning from clinical medicine to being a professor. But I hope it’s enough to fufill the new void. She’s not dating anyone. She doesn’t have alot of friendships. So I’m just really worried about leaving her. I’m more worried about her than I am of me - bc she has given so much of her life to being a mom and loves it so much. And she’s been taking my move very hard (as we speak, im currently packing and will be moving this weekend). Her health lately hasn’t been the best with her having heart issues, so I also worry for her well-being and me not being there to take her to the hospital if she has a bad day.
I’m not sure what I’m asking for here, but for parents who are empty nesters - are you doing okay?
I can’t live with my parents forever, nor do I want to. But it’s just so painful leaving them for some reason…mainly bc I hope they’ll be okay.

I've never really written one of these before, but im not in a position to tell anyone i know about this. I'm sorry for any grammer mistakes I'm very anxious and tired right now. I can't sleep. For context i need to talk about my childhood first. My dad went to prison for a few years and during that time my mom was dating someone else (they were already planning divorce). during that time my mom kept us away from our dad and forced us to be closer with her new boyfriend. over time he groomed me, all his abuse and inappropriate touching starting as jokes about my body or how slutty i was (i was around 9-13). to this day i still dont feel comfortable with any adult touching me or comments about my body. even though i am an adult now. cut to now im freshly 18 and my dad has been making more and more inappropriate statements around me. hes always loved shock factor and isnt afraid to make uncomfortable jokes. but its getting worse. hes told me stories about hookups and has made jokes about never wearing a condom or being proud of his d1ck. all in graphic and almost frantic detail. one time i was staying at his house and he kept describing how he made a woman moan. whenever he does something like this i have to force out a laugh. something in my gut tells me this isnt right. not only that but im starting to get worried hes using again. hes so worried about me hating him over prison and him leaving i dont want to make it worse for him. my entire family hates him already for his addiction. i dont know if i should be worried or if im just overreacting because of my childhood. everytime we're alone together now i have to keep my guard up

Long story short, I’m 26 and the grandson is 34. I never thought about going for someone with that big of an age gap, but I’ve thought about how is just a number, especially when you approach your later 20s. And as I get older, 30 and 35 don’t seem as old as I thought they were. I’m not opposed to being introduced to someone that I know mutually through someone else, but here’s the tricky part of it: his grandmother is also my patient. And at first I didn’t think she was being serious, and so I kindly declined. But as the days went on, she continued to bring it up. And part of me didn’t see it as a big deal, but I don’t exactly have guys lining up for me. But I also took it as a compliment, that she holds me to such high regard, to want me to even meet her grandson. I’ve been told I don’t put myself out there, but is anyone ever perfectly okay with potentially making a fool of themself trying to meet someone organically? Anyway, back to the grandson….normally if it was neighbor trying to set me up with their grandson, I’d be less hesitant, but since it involves a patient’s family member, I feel like major ethical concerns come into play. But also idk if he’s even agreed to do it either. Because at first I said no, but now I feel like I’m shooting my shot but not taking her up on her offer. And call me crazy, but what if I’m stepping in the way of meeting my dare you say…soulmate? Because this grandma (love her dearly, I’m actually quite close with her) is 94, so she knows a thing or two, especially with how well she knows her grandson. And she said I’m just his type. And I know she talks about both of us to one another, she’s literally trying to set us up. And like I said, I’m not sure if he agreed to meeting me. But through all the thoughts I’ve had, I keep coming back to how hard it is to meet someone nowadays, and how sometimes being set up actually works out. My parents started dating by my mom asking a mutual friend of her’s and my dad, if he wanted to go to a party with her. He agreed and after that party, they started dating. So they were age 16 and they’re 59 now, so you do the math. In the few weeks of this going on, the times he’s been visiting her, I’m always busy at that same time with other patients, so we end up missing each other. And I hope she didn’t tell him that I’m hiding, because I’m literally not hiding…except one time when I could hear her calling out about me from down the hall “there she is!”. I felt so awkward being singled out like that, I literally walked into a random room, not thinking they would be coming down the hall and passing me in the room. FML. And as they passed by the room, she shouted “there she is!” again FML 😭 I’m also not trying to come off desperate if I agree to meet him, but what if he wasn’t even on board to begin with. And then I just look Iike fool who agreed to meet him, even though I’m caring for his grandmother. Is that cringe? Men: what should I do? Would you agree if you were the grandson?

21F ive been to drs none have helped
August 2023 ,i ate felt like i was gunna puke . Then ever since that day horrible acid reflux, burping, constipation every single day got to the point where i couldn’t eat at all and i lost about 30 pounds.
Well i eventually start eating more, small portions throughout the day rather than big meals all at once. I didnt feel naseaus, but still had burping/acid everyday
Well again these past 2 weeks its been even worse horrible burping, all day , stomach hurts, constipated, chest burns
My diet is not bad. I dony drink alcohol. Everything I eat is cooked at home aside from the occasional pizza or date night. Ironically pizza is the only thing that does not hurt my stomach. And since this the only drink i drink is water for the past year.
Also to add ive had frequent dirrhea in the past. And when i do get it the pains hurt worse than child labor. Idk if that counts for anything. I have narrowed down that red meatwas the cause of that so when i stopped eating that , it stopped happening aside from once and a while .
To add I Have Pcos and idk if relevant but mine as well I am a breastfeeding mom, incase that could effect my body too.
Even a piece of toast gives me acid. Im at a loss

I am having a hard time trying to prepare for an upcoming “date” tonight.
Trying to keep this as short as possible apologies if it is long.
A few months ago, my mom met some high profile couple, and found out that their daughter is autistic, so am I. Since then all my mom sees is nothing but “green lights” she’s autistic, you are autistic, let’s book a venue “wedding bells” etc, needless to say I am not thrilled.
Before I was diagnosed I dated, and tried to “be normal” but I have been burned WAYYYYY TOOO MANY TIMES. Despite what I am about to say, and I am getting this out of the way now, to save anyone getting confused, I don’t identify as a NEET, hikikomori, or an Incel, but I still put together the following observations (and observations alone) by myself, not pressured.
I am 38M, Aspergers/autistic high functioning/support level 1, fully employed single, overweight, can’t budget to save my life, living at home with my parents, everything I have described does not sound like a women’s ideal bingo card for a future relationship or dating/marriage material. I know that many say things like “a cup for every saucer” or “you can’t love anyone unless you love yourself” well I endured 8 months of ACT (acceptance therapy) and I can tell you, I don’t love myself but I have accepted the things I can’t change, one of them is me.
The daughter is a lovely person, I can see that, but I also know, at every dinner we have had together, naturally the 6 of us, pair up, moms talk together, dads talk together and it is always me with the daughter, now I’m not shallow hall or anything, I don’t even know what I am looking for in a relationship (because I am not interested in having one) but I would love to talk about others things, other than her “specific interests” (Disney and horror films) I have tried other topics, and it’s the equivalent of talking to a brick wall. I can talk to my friends about a variety of topics.
The only ace I have up my sleeve, is I know from my mom, that the daughter is not interested in anything “romantic” she is not looking for a relationship, and neither am I, but I know who I want to be friends with (I have that ability) I am naturally introverted, I want nothing to do with this at all, and I feel like I am not being listened to, or my boundaries are being accepted at all.
My parents go away for a few months every year, so they know I can look after myself (only until my money runs out, my parents earn a fuck ton more than I do) and all my mom wanted was for me to go to the movies with the daughter, or at least spend some time with her as friends. And I am just ruminating and overthinking this to death. We are going to the movies tonight.
I don’t want this to be like other attempts to make me “normal” such as trying to get me to cook (I set the kitchen on fire they stop asking) I go to events (embarrass myself) never asked again, I don’t want to throw this away, but I also don’t want to ruin anything by just being me.
Any advice would be very helpful.