Her believing she was the Slayer in Los Angeles lead to her burning down the auditorium. Buffy was suspected of doing it, but it couldn’t be proven, and the extreme difference in how her parents wanted to approach the situation caused arguments that lead to their separation. her father stayed in Los Angeles, working harder to pay for the things they could prove she destroyed.
Joyce moves to Sunnydale w/ Buffy after her separation from Buffy’s father, and all her friends are real, and all the villains are real, but not supernatural. The Master was just the owner of the Bronze. Darla was his daughter who Liam (Angel) had a on again off again relationship with. Amy was just a girl w/ a stage mom. The pack was just a group of popular kids Xander tried to join. When Buffy 1st introduces Angel to her mother she says he’s her tutor. What if he actually was a assistant teache her tutor. The episode Nightmares was just Buffy being nervous about seeing her dad again for the 1st time after the move, and everything that happened after the gym burnt down. School hard is Liam’s (Angel) married friends (William and Drucilla) coming to town, and him having less time to tutor her. Inca mummy girl was just Xander dating a foreign exchange student. The episode Ted in season 2 was Buffy’s mom trying to date again, and she does attack him, and that’s him Joyce realizes there might be something really wrong w/ Buffy. Innocence was Buffy finding out that Liam (Angel) was having a affair w/ his friend’s wife Drucilla, and being jealous, because she had a crush on him.
Everything in season is based on something that actually happened, but season 3 is her already in the mental institution. Faith is a girl who’s also in the mental institution.

(LOL long post and more verbal barfing than a rant but I need to put it somewhere.)
What a week lol. I finally got my consult scheduled with a doc from the list. The only time they had available for me was Monday at 8am so I got my happy ass up at 5:30am to make the drive. Rural living amirite? Drive wasn't so bad and I actually got there 20 minutes early, which was nice because I was so lost in that huge hospital. Thankfully a very nice receptionist walked me to the correct area. It felt very weird sitting in a waiting room full of mom and baby stuff whilst hoping to be sterilized. The nurse that came in to get my vitals and medical history was very friendly and didn't judge at all when I told her what I was there for. The doctor was also very funny and nice. Absolutely zero pushback when I said I'd like to be surgically sterilized. She explained every possible form of birth control, and went into depth about the ones I'd be interested in (IUD and surgery). Gave me informative pamphlets for both. She said when she was my age she felt the same way but changed her mind as she got older. I didn't deny the fact that could happen to me as well, but my opinion also isn't something likely to change with this. She said okay, cool, then the only issue is your insurance won't cover this kind of surgery till you're 21. I said that was fine because it gives me time to really think about it and make sure it's what I want. Conveniently they're booked out for surgeries until November, my 21st birthday is in September. All I have to do is call and set it up with her nurse. Sweet. I've been thinking about it nonstop since then.
Yesterday I had to make another long drive, 5 hours one way, with my mom to get her dream car in a different state. Mom and I were talking about life and stuff. She's in an online book club and they were taking turns writing a story, like one person writes a paragraph then the next person writes one and so on. Someone from the group messaged her and asked if she'd ever written before. She dabbled in it when she was young but never sent anything in. He asked if she'd like to try it again and send it to his publishing firm. She looked absolutely thrilled while she was telling me this and I could tell it really boosted her confidence to have her creative work get taken seriously.
It made me think. Would mom have already bought her dream car and been a published author if so much of her time didn't go to us kids? She worked through all three pregnancies. She decided to stay home after my little brother and take care of us while dad made money. She started working again the moment they wanted a divorce and she hasn't stopped since. She paid for everything since my dad turned out to be pretty unreliable. She did all this for us. I tried thinking of myself in that situation and I just couldn't see it. Maybe it's because she wanted to be a mom and I don't. She doesn't regret us. But if I were in her shoes, I would. I would mourn the life I couldn't start until my kids grew up. Now I'm watching her finally go and do what she wants with life and I've never been more proud and happy for her. I just wish it could've happened sooner. She deserved to have it happen sooner.
Idk. I'm getting all emotional thinking about it. I should probably schedule that surgery. I love my mom. I hope we both get the lives we want.

okay so idk what to do. i just downloaded this app because i see a bunch of reddit stories on tiktok and people help them with their problems so i want some help. i know this isn’t really bad and others have it worse but it’s still a problem in my life.
okay so one of the really big things is that my mom keeps saying she’s gonna put me into therapy (my dad just died recently and i have other trauma that i don’t wanna say) and i can’t sign myself up for therapy because i’m young (not gonna say my age.) and i also keep asking her for therapy because i’m like super depressed and theres gotta be something wrong in my brain.
so like she’ll lie about stuff like that and stuff like taking me to the doctor or taking me to the dentist (i haven’t been to the doctor or dentist in over 5 years) i don’t even remember the last time i went to a real doctor, but the last time i went to the dentist was 3rd grade. (i know that’s gross please don’t judge i brush my teeth.) and i’ve had tonsillitis more times than i can count (liek over 10) and she keeps saying she’ll make an appointment with my doctor (i’ve never seen her cuz my doctor i know retired like 7 years ago) to check out my tonsils and so they can make a date to get them taken out but she never has. (she’s been saying that for over a year)
the dentist thing isn’t really a problem since i don’t have any problems with my teeth like i don’t need braces or anything but i just added that in there.
but she also lies about little stuff but that stuff isn’t important but it just makes me so mad. because i can’t get a job, and whenever i get money for birthdays and christmas and chores my mom just takes it back and says she’ll pay me back and it’s for gas but it’s actually for alcohol (she drinks like a lot.) so i can’t do any fun stuff or buy myself anything and she never gives me money. and we aren’t poor we’re actually not even close according to her income but we live like it because she just spends her money in bad ways and isn’t good at that stuff.
once again i know that people have it worse than me and i shouldn’t complain but i really just hate it when she does this stuff and i want it to stop so can someone please tell me how to make her actually do stuff for me? thank you!

I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. We went on 5 dates and he seemed to be long term material (similar values etc.,). He opened up to me and mentioned a few things that seemed to indicate he was on the introverted side (cannot mingle with new people easily, takes time to warm up in new settings, prefers to spend weekends curled up with books more than socializing etc.,). I was concerned because I am a fairly socially active person and would like my partner to be able to take part in these as well.
I decided to invite him to a birthday party (~25 people) hosted at a close friend’s place to see what we are like in social situations with each other. He came off detached and not as enthusiastic as I would have liked him to be. We asked him a few times if he was uncomfortable at the party and he said he was fine there and that as he had mentioned before he takes time to warm up to new people and also he was tired that day. We also pointed him to employees from his company who were at the party so that he could have something common to talk about.
Overall, what he was telling us was not adding up to the behavior we were seeing so we thought he was hesitant to mention he was uncomfortable being there. Also his being that way was making my friends feel like they were doing something wrong and we were not very happy. I talked to my friends and suggested he should leave the party. He pushed back and insisted he was fine being there and that he liked to listen and observe in large settings as he had told me before. And he continued to stay. We gave up trying.
Next day a huge argument broke out between us. He said the realization that I took him to the party to see what he is like in social situations felt like a covert test to him because there was an “underlying motive” to why I took him there and there was no conversation about it my concerns beforehand. And that he felt his openness about his introversion was used to put him in a situation to “assess” him like that without talking about it with him. I mean, all I was trying to do was understand our social compatibility and I didn’t mean it to be some test. I don’t understand why taking someone to a party is such a big deal. He also says he felt humiliated being asked to leave like that since he was not being harmful to anyone there. I really don’t understand that either - all we were trying to do was spare him some discomfort.
Apparently he shared his version of what happened with some mutual friends and now they are grilling me. Am I am the asshole here? All we thought we were trying to do was make him feel comfortable there and I don’t like how he is spreading negativity in my friend group. What do you all think?

I'm very happy to present my latest game: Ruthless Heavens, Boundless Fate! Come check it out on Kickstarter now, you can even download a quickstart and start playing it right away!
Ruthless Heavens, Boundless Fate is an epic Role-Playing Game of cosmic adventure and power cultivation inspired by the LitRPG genre. In it, players play as Ascendants, powerful characters that due to a combination of talent, luck and sheer determination have become the de-facto rulers of their nations. Unfortunately for them, this means little in the cosmic scale, and they quickly find out that they are at the bottom of the power ladder. Their planet has just been introduced to the Path of Ascendancy by the Ruthless Heavens, and as such the rest of the Nolurian Sector is now aware of its existence. It falls to them to become strong enough to protect their homeland, exploring the sector for new opportunities while sending them resources so they can eventually be strong themselves. Through hard work and fortuitous encounters they will have the chance to do so, while reaching new heights of power and cultivation.
Ruthless Heavens, Boundless Fate features:

• A robust D20 ruleset compatible with most OSR systems and games.
• A gazetteer of the Nolurian Sector, exploring the main locations of interest, such as the Wandering City of Yeross, the different factions and their conflicts, and the motivations behind the mysterious cosmic force known as the Ruthless Heavens.
• Detailed character creation, with 5 different original ancestries, 8 classes, 10 unique lineages, random background generation, and rules to improve your soul, body, and bloodline, which are at the core of character progression.
• A unique skill system with 100 different powers that you can personalize and evolve, combining them into your signature power set of 9 active skills. Found a cool new skill? Replace an old one with it!
• Living Weapon rules to find and evolve your unique artifact, feeding it different resources that you must gather during your travels across the Nolurian Sector, and tailoring its powers to your specific wants and needs.
• Different pre-made locations such as Trials, Hunting Grounds, or Divine Decrees, for you to explore and investigate, each with their different challenges, events, encounter tables, and more.
• Hexploration rules to randomly generate different locations across different planets.
• Rules to expand your settlement between adventures, with a collection of buildings and facilities that grant your character a series of benefits.
• The most exhaustive collection of solo rules and tools ever found in a Blackoath game, allowing you to play the game solo or co-op!

This is me on a work break, making use of technology, and I suggest Jamie and Doug do the same, using these tools, and humans on the ground to be more effective public speakers.
ChatGPT VERSION: The speaker reflects on their deep desire for a loving family and support system, possibly triggered by pregnancy hormones. They express disappointment in family members who forgot their son's birthday and worry about the impact on him. Despite this, they go to great lengths to ensure their son has a memorable day, taking him to the library, surprising him with a splash pad visit, and organizing decorations and dinner. The speaker contrasts this effort with perceived last-minute preparations for their own events, highlighting a sense of neglect or imbalance in familial relationships.
The speaker expresses disappointment and hurt over the lack of connection with extended family despite efforts to nurture it. They reflect on their own desire for a loving and supportive family environment for their children, contrasting it with their own experiences growing up. Despite recognizing the toxicity in some family relationships, they still long for a sense of belonging and care from extended family members. Ultimately, they acknowledge the reality that they cannot force familial love and attempt to come to terms with it.
The speaker expresses deep emotional hurt over the perceived lack of care and connection from extended family members. Despite their efforts to nurture relationships and adapt to others' expectations, they feel consistently judged and unappreciated. They discuss setting boundaries to protect themselves but acknowledge the pain it brings. The speaker's partner notes that this reflects more on others than on the speaker herself, but the speaker continues to feel hurt and defensive.
They emphasize the importance of their immediate family unit and their desire to create a loving environment for their children, contrasting it with the apparent indifference of extended family. The speaker worries about their children's future without strong familial support and feels frustrated by the perceived lack of acknowledgment for important milestones. They question whether their feelings are valid and struggle with the disconnect between their expectations and reality.
The speaker discusses estate planning, expressing concern over who would care for their children if something were to happen to them. They feel disappointed by the lack of acknowledgment from extended family members, especially on important occasions like birthdays. They express gratitude for their followers who provide support and excitement, contrasting it with the seeming disinterest from their own family.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing relationships with those who show genuine care and support. They acknowledge the difficulty in sharing such personal struggles but believe it's important for healing. Despite the challenges, they focus on gratitude and ensuring their children feel loved and cherished, even if it doesn't come from extended family.
The speaker reflects on their journey of trying to integrate into their extended family while realizing that not everyone is meant to be a part of their inner circle. They express gratitude for their partner's support and discuss the difficulty of setting boundaries with family members who don't reciprocate love and support.
They emphasize the importance of focusing on positive relationships and finding one's own supportive community. Despite the pain of rejection, they encourage others to prioritize their own well-being and seek relationships that are mutually fulfilling. They acknowledge the challenges of vulnerability but believe in the potential for growth and healing through therapy and setting healthy boundaries. Ultimately, they find solace in the love and support of their immediate family and prioritize creating a nurturing environment for their children.
Doug expresses immense pride in Jamie's growth, acknowledging her journey from trying to win over social media commenters to recognizing toxicity and setting boundaries. He praises her for spreading positivity and gratitude, which has positively impacted their family and attracted like-minded individuals into their lives. Jamie tearfully expresses gratitude for Doug's kind words and emphasizes the importance of focusing on the positive aspects of life, regardless of challenges. They both believe in the power of positivity and gratitude in attracting happiness and meaningful relationships. They end on a light-hearted note, acknowledging their upcoming responsibilities but expressing excitement for the next episode.

I have been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. We went on 5 dates and he seemed to be long term material (similar values etc.,). He opened up to me and mentioned a few things that seemed to indicate he was on the introverted side (cannot mingle with new people easily, takes time to warm up in new settings, prefers to spend weekends curled up with books more than socializing etc.,). I was concerned because I am a fairly socially active person and would like my partner to be able to take part in these as well.
I decided to invite him to a birthday party (~25 people) hosted at a close friend’s place to see what we are like in social situations with each other. He came off detached and not as enthusiastic as I would have liked him to be. We asked him a few times if he was uncomfortable at the party and he said he was fine there and that as he had mentioned before he takes time to warm up to new people and also he was tired that day. We also pointed him to employees from his company who were at the party so that he could have something common to talk about.
Overall, what he was telling us was not adding up to the behavior we were seeing so we thought he was hesitant to mention he was uncomfortable being there. Also his being that way was making my friends feel like they were doing something wrong and we were not very happy. I talked to my friends and suggested he should leave the party. He pushed back and insisted he was fine being there and that he liked to listen and observe in large settings as he had told me before. And he continued to stay. We gave up trying.
Next day a huge argument broke out between us. He said the realization that I took him to the party to see what he is like in social situations felt like a covert test to him because there was an “underlying motive” to why I took him there and there was no conversation about it my concerns beforehand. And that he felt his openness about his introversion was used to put him in a situation to “assess” him like that without talking about it with him. I mean, all I was trying to do was understand our social compatibility and I didn’t mean it to be some test. I don’t understand why taking someone to a party is such a big deal. He also says he felt humiliated being asked to leave like that since he was not being harmful to anyone there. I really don’t understand that either - all we were trying to do was spare him some discomfort.
Apparently he shared his version of what happened with some mutual friends and now they are grilling me. Am I am the asshole here? All we thought we were trying to do was make him feel comfortable there and I don’t like how he is spreading negativity in my friend group. What do you all think? Am I the asshole here?

i didnt even know there was a name or a subreddit for this. im so so happy rn
im currently waiting for a storm to happen but it just wont start lol. Thats why i was just explaining my fear to a friend (who kinda teased me for it), so i thought id share my story with people who know what its like. im a 20yo who had this fear as a child -especially of the wind, so i sometimes consider it to be childish but its really not.
my astraphobia started last summer when there were 2 biggest storms ever recorded in my area (balkans) like EVER, a day apart from eachother. my whole street was flooded which never happened before and my street is as old as time. a few people from my city sadly died, mostly from trees falling on their cars while they were in them. thats why i was screaming for my mom because she was getting back from work then. The first storm was from a giant supercell cloud which ive never seen or heard of before in my life and its not normal for our climate. i remember i said 'dad, look at that cool ass cloud!'. I still have a few videos of it all since i was in a taxi when that storm started. the next thing i said was 'dad whats going on', which i also have on video haha. even the taxi driver was scared sh*tless. trees were almost getting sucked out of their roots and i thought we were in a damn vacuum.
since then, things have been hectic.
im not looking forward to this summer, and i think climate change is to blame for it all. i hate it here haha thank u💜💜💜

I (24f) had my daughter almost a year ago and during that time I had to cut off people from my family. The first person was my father. We've never had a good relationship and despite many chances he has fucked up each time but this particular time he kept INSISTING that it was "family tradition" for Grandpa to be there in the delivery room. I told him no multiple times and then told him to not show up at all because of how he was talking to me. He makes my husband(25m) very uncomfortable with how he talks to me and honestly it's low-key emotional incest. He tried to guilt trip us into letting him in. Then my grandpa from my father's side decided that my father "deserved" to have a picture of my daughter after I told him I was no contact. With my older brother (27m) the plan was for him to come to town and stay at my apartment while my husband and I were in the hospital. He not only refused to leave, he took the "dad couch" forcing my husband stay awake from 8am to about 7pm the following day. We told my brother multiple times to go and rest in our bed and that we would call him as soon as my daughter was born. Again he refused. I told my nurses I don't want epidural whatsoever and at one point during the build up in contractions, I was in the bathroom and heard my brother telling the nurse I might want the epidural. I legitimately had to throw open the door and curse both him and the nurse out for even bringing it up. I couldn't tell the nurse to kick him out either cuz each time she would come in I was having a issue with the monitors and IV so I never got the chance to actually say anything before she would leave each time. About a week later once my brother is back home he calls asking for pictures of my daughter but instead I confronted him about his actions while I was giving birth and told him he stole that moment from my husband and I. Before I could say anything further he cut me off, told me not to talk, tried LYING to us saying that he did offer to go but he was "too tired" from driving everywhere. He said that he would contact me when he was ready but has only been sending me random tiktoks and wishing me a happy holiday or another event. I still haven't gotten an apology. Now my mom is the tricky part. My younger sibling (17) lives with her still and that's the only real reason I still talk to her and my stepdad. The family dynamics is absolutely terrible btw. My mom told me about a month or so ago she was sending pictures of my daughter to my brother without me knowing or asking me. I have stopped sending my mom pictures of my daughter because of this and she's pretty upset about it. She doesn't reach out to me, never has, and the only reason she even knows what's going on is that I call or message first. With my stepdad, I don't talk to him at all at this point. Before my daughter was born I (still trying to have some time of relationship with him) asked how he felt about being a grandpa. THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAD THE AUDACITY to cut me off and say "no no, step grandpa. I'm not actually a grandpa until -sibling- has kids." My siblings and I all have different bio dads, mine just happened to be the worst of it. There is soooo much more but idk what info would be useful at this point So with everything thats happened, AITAH?

I recently moved into my girlfriends parents house as they moved out. So we’re renting it from them.
My gf’s dad would cut the elderly neighbors lawn out of courtesy & this is something I continued in the spring and summer last year. However, my electric mower died and I was scrambling to find a mower that wouldn’t break the bank. I knocked on my neighbours door and explained the situation and he mentioned that he doesn’t have a lawnmower. Fast forward a week and my lawn is magically cut. After investigating a little, I noticed his garage door was open and his lawnmower was sitting there in plain sight. When I went to thank him, he said “well, the grass was getting out of hand and someone had to do it”
My thing is, I cut his lawn out of courtesy, not obligation, so this comment came off a little skewed to me.
Anyway, I ended up taking the cheap route and bought a used gas mower. It worked last summer, but of course, she stopped working on me when I went to cut the lawn this spring- so I went out and bought a manual push mower. I ran into my neighbour again the other day and he said “You’re lawn mowers not working?” To which I responded “nope- I had to go out and buy a push mower”.
This morning, i went out and found the lawn cut about 75%.
I want to think that he is doing this out of kindness, but there seems to be some passive aggression when the conversation is brought up and I don’t want to approach this the wrong way.
I should mention that i work 9-5 monday to friday and weekends so I really only have sundays to cut my lawn & im happy with that. I’m starting to feel like I’m obligated to cut his lawn, and I want to express my gratitude but kindly ask him to stop cutting my grass.
Any thoughts or similar experiences here? How did you handle it and what was the outcome?
TLDR; My elderly neighbour has been cutting my grass after my mowers died on me. He originally said he didn’t have a lawnmower.

I (27M) am somewhat of a late bloomer when it comes to driving, but since my childhood I've been a fan of automobiles, especially JDM cars (so was my dad to an extent since he worked in a car factory in Okayama).
I'm now taking car and motorcycle lessons because I finally have my own time and money to be independent and pay for the courses myself before taking my license exams. I feel amazing, it seems that the brightness of life came back to my days since I started driving and riding.
I've had two car sessions so far and this is my first time driving a real car on public roads. I learned to drive a manual and to use the clutch on a Logitech G29 wheel and driving on BeamNG Drive, and I'll tell you, it taught me 100% how to drive, so much that my own two instructors thought I was lying when I told them I only played games and have never driven before. Today he trusted me so much that he made me take the car back to the driving school, totally trusted my guts. It felt just like the game.
I'm so happy with myself, and I wish everyone would have access to a force feedback wheel and a gaming PC for training and doing everything they wish they could on a real car.

Just hope to find my human
Hi all, I’m David, no staged names here! And yup, 49 and sadly single for a few years now! I’m in Scotland, and would prefer someone on same continent.
I’m a simple lad looking for that connection! That one human I can come home to and talk to, hold hands with and just be!! Or they can come home to me!!
I’m 173cm short, not toned but defo not fat. Middle of the road dad bod!?!? Salt and pepper short hair, glasses and beard. Happy to share pics.
I’m looking for my fem! Not necessarily cis but defo fem!!!!! So you can see I am very open.
I honestly think Vanilla is only good for ice cream!! Very K positive!!
Likes are travel, photography, camping if able, scuba if able, computer, sci-fi, fantasy, books of the digital kind tho and many many more!
I’m passionate about what I do and if you take time to know me then you’ll see what makes me tick!
I am drawn to a small build person, so that does mean hight and chest sizes lol! Hey if women can say they want tall dark and handsome, then I’m sure I can say my preference also! I’d hope that your not a barbie kind of person, IE All make up and glitter lol. Great eye candy and all but not really for me!
So what else do you want to know?
If you’ve made it this far! Whoop well done you, next step is to drop me a message and say something a bit more than “Hi” please!
Look forward to hearing from you, if you are out there!!!

In meinem Land bringt es Unglück, wenn man zum Geburtstag vorher gratuliert. Persönlich glaube ich daran nicht. Zum Geburtstag isst man die Torte mit Kerzen. Bevor man die Kerzen auspustet, darf man etwas wünschen und dieser Wunsch wird wahr werden. Zum Geburtstag bekommt man viele Geschenke von Verwandten und Freuden. Man singt das Lied "Happy birthday" und mit Champagner anstoßt.

6 months ago, I became friends on Facebook with a lovely girl from my country, India. We used to speak very rarely, like twice a month for just 5 minutes, as I was often busy sharing memes on my wall. Gradually, she started reacting to every post I shared, and our conversations increased to 4 or 5 times a month.
One day, I asked for her phone number, which she promptly gave me. Despite becoming WhatsApp friends, I didn't message her until my birthday the next month when she called me, and we spoke for an hour. Eventually, I started developing feelings for her and confessed my feelings, surprising her. However, she expressed hesitance about relationships, citing a serious breakup from two years prior.
Afterward, she began ignoring me, and when I asked what was wrong, she claimed to be unwell. Feeling frustrated, I unfriended her on Facebook and blocked her on WhatsApp. Despite this, she sent a food recipe video to my Facebook messenger.
After unblocking her on WhatsApp, I wrote her a beautiful poem, and she responded positively, expressing happiness. However, she resumed ignoring me afterward. Feeling frustrated, I decided to express my feelings, stating that I felt I wasn't the one she was looking for, and suggested we should part ways. She replied, "What can I say? I want you to succeed in your life."
I didn't respond, and it's been two weeks since I blocked her on WhatsApp (though not on Facebook), where I still see her online frequently. Despite this, I refrain from messaging her.

I (34F) have a strained relationship with my parents. My family is mostly very religious and when I left the church 6 yrs ago it caused a rift. My dad is trying to make amends now but he was an absent father. My mom constantly brings up god and hopes one day I’ll come back to church. Not only that but has always been shaming me for my weight, crooked teeth (I got braces) and choices in life like contemplating not having children.
My birthday is coming up in a week and I told my family in our group chat that I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday this year. I’m going through a potential separation (trying to work through it) and I’m wrung out. I’m just not in the right headspace to celebrate anything. I just want to go to my brother’s place, see my niece and nephew and go home.
My wonderful sister is completely supportive and so is my brother, however, my mom facetimed me and just lost it. She said I have an “attitude”, thinks I’m doing this to punish her and that she’s a mother, she gave birth to me and wants to celebrate my life. That I will never understand what it is to be a mother. I told her I don’t want a birthday party. Period. And told her to leave it alone.
My sister reached out and told me later that my mom is still planning on throwing a party for when I go up this weekend.
If she does throw a party, will I be the asshole if I leave immediately?

I am a guy in my early 30's. I'm an International Student in the country where I live. I got a match on CatholicMatch with a girl just 6 months older than me who lives 158.3 km away in the same country, it would take me 4.5 hours to get there by train. She was beautiful. Not a supermodel, but she has a pretty face and gorgeous eyes. She is 6 months older than me, from a similar culture, and we speak the same language. We both accepted the match in November 2022.
We started chatting and the conversation was pleasant. She told me that she lived with her older brother, she worked as a babysitter and that she didn't have a visa. The conversations were a bit slow, because we both took our time responding, but it was pleasant. I often mentioned that she was busy studying and doing my homework. Actually, by looking at old messages, I could see that it was me the one who took longer took longer to respond. Sometimes, because I didn't know what to say and others times because I didn't notice her replies. I suggested her that when I had some free time, we could we could go and explore a town together. I thought we could meet in the capital because there should be lots of fun things to do and it's kind of in the middle for both of us. She seemed happy, but when I suggested a date, she didn't respond in time. In early February 2023, I gathered some courage, found her on Facebook, and sent her a friend request. She accepted it. I looked at her photos and realized that she came from a lovely family and that in 2015 she wanted to be a nun and she went through the Discernment period for five years (2 years with vows). I felt more attracted to her after that. We started chatting and she said she was glad that I found her there. I suggested going to see a cultural site. She responded that her immigration and financial situation was not the best and that it would not be wise for her to get out of town for a date. She said that she would like to meet me, but that to do so she would have to travel to where she was.
Maybe I sabotaged myself because I responded that I would like to be friends with her and chat on Facebook and that I could go there, but that she would take me a little longer. I She responded that getting to a woman's heart requires some sacrifice and that she wasn't doing it on purpose to test me. I said she understood. What I meant was that I would like to start as friends and that I would be willing to go whenever I have free time. She doesn't know it, but I was dealing with a serious procrastination and anxiety problem. I tried to message her again after that, but she seemed a little distant. I even wished her a happy Valentine's Day and she responded with just a smiley face but no words. The last time I texted her was in August for her birthday. But there wasn't much conversation. Months passed and communication cooled down, it went through some academic research challenges as well, but I kept hoping to resume communication at some point after I graduated. I just didn't know how to do it.
In December of last year, she posted a photo on Facebook with her new boyfriend. I felt sad, but I tried to understand it. Because I was curious, I checked her boyfriend's profile and found out he is from her hometown but lives in this country, and his a dad. She also posted a picture with him again one momth ago and this time it did affect me. It doesn’t make sense that something I already knew could affect me so much. Just in case you are wondering I taking therapy, and I also have ASD, so it’s hard for me to let things go.
I know this is not serious love, because we never got to meet each other, and it's not good to idealize people or 'building castles in midair', but I still feel like I was a jerk and not a real gentleman to her. I'm just writing this as a form of catharsis. but I feel better now after writing this and talking to my therapist.

I've tried this before and had a bad experience, but figured I'd give it another shot at finding happiness, so here goes it goes !
Have made several posts in the past. I have been into series of relationship and none worked out. was either betrayed,cheated on and beaten up...The longest was about 3yrs with a guy ,he was caring at the beginning of our relationship untill i later discovered that my best friend is sleeping with him for real in which i caught them and all i got from my ex-bf was a dash of slaps and beat from him...I cried and planned not having any relatioonship again untill my grandma adviced me that its not the end of life,so i am giving this a trial and hoping to find someone with cute heart.
I was 5 years old when i lost my mother, and I lost my father on my 20th birthday 💔💔 that’s so sad and very heartbroken .. have never been happy I don’t think have experienced happiness 😪😭
I had a failed suicide attempt early this year, since then I've been trying my best to stay positive. I eat healthily, exercise regularly, sleep 8 hours a day, but I feel like I'm burning out. I don't know how long I can hold on.
used to think I would be happy person without marrying sômeone. I thought I should focus on my career first before trying to find someone... However, loneliness is sabotaging that belief. The older I get, the more lonely I become lol... And when I am lonely, my heart throbs, my body runs out of energy and I will end up lying there feeling empty…. everything seems boring.
When I am alone, I think of the bad memories I had And I become sad. My whole body loses energy so fast ,Most of my friends have a partner . Some just busy with work and everytime I wanna reach out, none is beside... That time, I realize I need someone...yes, this is embarrassing but I need someone to help me feel happy in this life
And now I’m seeking for a caring man , supportive someone capable of taking care of me and spoiling me , someone who can give to support me , someone that would make me feel like a woman. Spend time together, a man who is truthful and trustworthy.. I sell toys for kids that’s what I do to earn a living
About me personally: I pride myself on being very sweet, kind, and caring. I do a lot for the people I love, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm very empathetic. I'm also smart, thoughtful, and a deep thinker. I appreciate emotional maturity , want kids, commitment. I'm a hopeless romantic so I'm looking for the real deal, someone who is ready to build a life with me.
If you know you're not ready for a serious relationship, please don't waste my time, because l've had enough hurt my life.
Also, please be sure to attach a photo of yourself if you message me and I’ll send mine too

Part 16: The awakening of the heart
.
.
As the Mysterious Stranger and the Seeker leave the old castle behind, they continue on the snow-covered path. A path appears on the right side, following parallel to their own. The two paths merge into one, which leads towards a volcano. As they progress, another parallel path from the left side merges as well with the current one.
.
In the distance, the Seeker spots a building, where the path tilts uphill. A sign points at a crossroad. An intersection, between realms. The crossroads, where all timelines meet up: Where the westward and the eastward paths meets the northern road.
Where the paths meet, stands a tavern. The lights are on. The chimney is smoking. A sign shows its name:
'The Red Ditch Inn'
.
.
“Wanna get something to drink,” asks the Stranger the Seeker.
“Sure, why not,” accepts the Seeker.
.
.
Before he opens the door knob, the Stranger hesitates and speaks to the Seeker:
“This is the bar, where the timelines of our souls meet up. This is the crossing of our life-paths, the intersection of fate. Be prepared, for what happens next.”
The Seeker and the Stranger walk into the building. As they open the door, they are started by the loud conversations. The inn is full. Many tables with different animals of all species.
.
.
The table in the center of the bar, has a label saying: 'Spirituality'
Around that table sit all kinds of different birds and animals. Pigeons, squirrels, Reptiles, cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, crows, mice, sloths. They are mostly talking about crystals and past lives.
.
.
There was a table, which said: 'astralprojection'. There sat an old bear, who carries many scars, wounded by countless battles, teaching young bear cups, who attentively listen to their elders. Some are making notes.
.
.
Next to it, is a table with a label saying: 'Enlightenment'
There sit some parrots all repeating the same mantra in unison:
“BEFORE ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER, AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER.”
.
.
There is another table, called: 'Awakened'
There sit a caterpillar, a spider, a scorpion and an eagle.
“You have an Ego,” shouts the caterpillar at the spider, pointing his finger.
“No, you have an Ego,” shouts the spider back at the caterpillar.
“You both have an Ego,” accuses the scorpion both the caterpillar and the spider.
“Hey,” shouts the bird. “I am the eagle here!”
.
.
Next to it, is the table of 'nonduality'. The chairs are completely empty. There is no one here.
.
.
On the other side there is another table with many different birds and mammals, some more exotic animals from all around the world. The label says 'Soulnexus'. There is someone constantly screaming at the top of their lungs:
“I AM A PROFFESIONAL PSYCHIC READER WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!”
.
.
One table next to it is called 'starseeds'. The people sitting there do not look like animals, but like strange aliens. Some small and green beings, others big and gray, some with fur, some with scales, some humanoid. They were mostly talking about the past, exchanging some old memories. Among them is a chicken, who wears an alien costume.
.
As one of the Grey beings stands up to go to the toilet, the chicken whispers to the others:
“Psst guys, I think Fred may not be an actual Starseed.”
The other beings around the table start mumbling.
.
.
There is one more table called 'psychonauts'. The Stranger walks towards their table.
“Jo, wazzup Shawty,” greets the Stranger an old friend at the psychonaut-table, with a fist bump. “Long time no see.”
.
“Whoa, it's YOU,” responds the Tiger at the table, with red eyes, smoking his bong. “Last time I've seen you, I was like in DMT realm.”
.
“Is Burt anywhere around?” asks the Stranger.
.
.
“He is sitting there in the corner,” responds Shawty. The tiger points at a traumatized racoon sitting in the dark corner.
“I have seen too much,” mumbles the Burt the Racoon with eyes wide open, like a scratched record.
“I have traveled too far... I have seen, what lies within the emptiness. Never again... I will never do shrooms again...”
.
.
Suddenly the waiter taps the racoons shoulder, ripping him out of his thought loop.
“Sir... Do you wanna order anything?”
.
“Do you have McKennaii?”
“Yes,” responds the waiter.
“Then I'll have 7 grams,” orders the racoon.
.
.
The Seeker has a sudden thought and looks at the Stranger.
“What does the ' slash' on the tables, stand for?”
.
“I don't know...,” shrugs the Stranger. “ It's probably to reserve the table at this inn.”
.
.
.
The Stranger looks at all the tables, they are all talking and talking. Some are playing poker, others are playing dart, some drunks fight each other. Others talk about their identity or their favorite dogma. Some are showing off, how enlightened they are.
As they stand at the crossroads, they can either go Westwards, Eastwards and Northwards. Many have taken the western route, many have went eastwards, but they always ended back at the 'Red Ditch Inn' again.
The newbies, were unsure, whether to go west or east. The experienced ones, knew it doesn't make a difference, they would end up at the bar again anyway. Some were stuck in the bar since many decades, they had given up hope to ever find a way out. But few of them ever dared to walk northwards.
The Stranger sighs, as he looks around. His eyes flame up, he inhales deeply and climbs on a chair. With a raised voice he speaks:
.
.
.
.
“When did we lose our heart?
We lost our heart collectively.
Did we lose it, when we were still cavemen? When we had to survive the cold winters of the ice age? When we hunted down the last Homo Neanderthalensis? Or later on, when the first tribes waged war against each other? Did we lose our heart, when we enslaved each other? Did we lose our hearts, when we dropped atom bombs, or when we caused our first mass extinctions...The crimes, that Humans do in wars... All of us carry the sins of our forefathers on our shoulders.
.
.
We lost our hearts individually.
For the person it starts pretty early in their childhood. We lose our trust, when we are lied to. Almost everyone tastes the pain of Betrayal at least once in life. We are deeply wounded from childhood on. We learn early on, that humans hurt us and thus we become suspicious of humans. We learn not to trust each other. Because we are afraid of being hurt again. And so we close off our heart to protect it.
.
.
What is the heart?
I am not talking about the physical organ. I talk about this part in your 'soul', if I may call it that. It's like the core of our 'soul', of our 'astral body'. The centre of our 'energy' or chakras. We are afraid to open it, because it's very vulnerable. That's why we protect it. We are afraid to open it, because we don't trust each other.
But unless your heart is open, you can never experience unconditional love. Its flame must be activated.
The heart is your connection to everything. The heart is what connects you to 'source', if that's the word, you'd like to use. The heart is from where our love flows.
We have cut off the connection and became separated from the ALL. We made love conditional. We split hating from loving, dislike from like and created duality. We became attached. We let ourselves be corrupted by the Ego.
Now that we have closed the heart, what have we done to the world?
.
.
We turned the world into a place, that almost no one likes. We created a society, that keeps us in narrow boxes. We made the world a lonely place, for everyone to be in. Even in groups, we often feel lonely. We allowed money to rule over us. We allowed ideologies to split us and dogmas to control us.
We have so many different issues, that we just can't seem to overcome. Climate change. Wars. Corrupt politicians. Poverty. Starvation. Meaninglessness. Nihilism.
Where should we start with all that mess?
.
.
With ourselves. That is the place, where the transformation needs to start. We need to evolve. One person at a time. Only then, can the collective transform as well.
We need to open the mind and the heart. To see and to feel. To be aware and to love. We need to find harmony within ourselves. End the inner conflict and find peace within.
Find your own truest path.
Let go of any limiting beliefs. Let go of any attachments. Forgive whoever needs forgiveness and apologize to clear your regrets. Find Love.
Find your light within. See your light in all people. Love your enemies.
Recognize the Ego, be aware of what makes it grow. Become aware of any negative thought patterns. Be disciplined.
Clear your own shadows. Face your Trauma. Heal your inner child.
Get free from all bodily addictions. Be free of fear. Be free of suffering.
See the beauty of all things. Find joy in every moment.
Surrender yourself. Follow the heart. Be proud and courageous. Accept your life and your story. Embrace your story, without being attached to it.
Find your purpose. End the Seeking.
Be your authentic Self. Express Love through your character.
Become Love.
.
.
.
This is a possible path. And I just gave you the map. It can be walked. It was walked before. But it is a path into unknown territory. Only the bravest of you can walk this path. It's not for the faintest of heart.
You see, you all either follow the path of the left and go westwards or you follow the path on the right and go eastwards... But no matter how far you go, you'll always end up at the crossroads again. You never make any real progress.
What if there is another path? What if there's another way? What if I say, 'let us go north?!'”
.
.
.
Some of the crowd are in shock. Some are laughing. Others are mumbling.
“You can't walk north,” says a crow from the projectors. “It's impossible.”
“Everyone knows, that the northern road is a dead-end,” says an awakened Caterpillar. “It's a waste of time going up there. You can't go further, than the volcano.”
A psychonaut horse laughs. “That will be fun. Can't wait to see their disappointed faces, when they walk all the way back down.”
.
.
.
.
.
The Stranger continues undeterred:
.
“Why are you walking the spiritual path?
You felt called to do it, didn't you? You felt something within you. Something made click. You understood, that there is a deeper truth, that you must find. There was this deep longing within you. So you started walking.
What were the first things, that you were seeking?
You were seeking answers.
What were your first questions? You were asking, 'What is my purpose?' You were asking 'Why am I here'?
And you have searched in so many places. But no matter which answer you got, you were never fully satisfied. Because it wasn't your answer. Because it was someone else's answer.
So you stopped seeking. Either you were content with some unfulfilling answers or you just simply gave up. When did you stop finding your own answers?
Dogma or tradition give us easy answers. When we are attached to them, when we build an identity around them, we become unable to find our own answers. But you can't end Seeking with someone elses answers. Only when you have claimed the answer for yourself, can the Seeker transform into something different. Into something new.
Just ending the Seeker, like cutting off a limb, won't do it. The Seeker needs to find their answer to the question 'What is my purpose?' Not one, they read from textbooks. Not an answer, that someone else can give them. When ONE has found their own unique purpose in life, then instead of 'seeking', there is only 'expressing'.”
.
.
.
“I see that you are advanced,” speaks an enlightened owl. “However you are blinded by idealism. When you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss will stare back at you.”
.
“My friend,” says the Stranger. “I have not only stared into the abyss, I went to hell and back again to find my answer.”
.
.
.
Everyone falls silent, the Stranger continues:
“It was always here on earth. Heaven. It was always within us. Take a look around you. There is beauty in all things. If you search for it, you can find joy in every moment. Look for love in the world and you shall find love everywhere. Meet Life with gratitude and wonder. Face your experience, like an adventurer faces his challenge. Express unconditional love through your very being. Because this is how we heal Humanities greatest wound: The scar of nihilism.
It has all become so meaningless to us, hasn't it?
Memorizing knowledge at school or college, that you'll never need in real life. This feeling of being stuck in life. Day to day, going to a dead-end job for minimum wage. Living an unfulfilled life. The shattering of broken dreams. The tears of our suffering.
You know, why everything has become so meaningless?
We let our hearts get cold. After falling, we stopped getting back up again. We stopped facing our challenges.
You see, after every defeat, Humanity always got back up again. No matter how tough the challenge may seemed, Humanity never gave up.
We have forgotten, who we are.
All of us are Humanity. You, Me, everyone. We are all humanity. You, the individual human are HUMANITY. You are the Rest of mankind. Because we are all the same in our essence. When you open your heart, then this is your name: 'HUMANITY'
Because you see yourself in every other human. This is the name of the divine spark that sits within all of us. It is the fire, that burns in our eyes. This is Humanity: An archetype of victory and an idea of unity.
Let me ask you a very direct question. If we all came together to do our part, do you think that we could actually clean up the mess we have created? Do you think we have a chance of not only to survive but even to evolve as a species? And perhaps write even greater stories, than ever before?”
.
.
.
.
.
The entire crowd is silent. Most of them avoid eye contact. People start mumbling.
Then the crowd slowly gets louder again and the conversations on each table, continue as if nothing ever happened.
As the Stranger steps down from the chair, a monkey gets up from one of the tables, points his finger and screams:
“Look guys, this dude has ketchup on his outfit.”
.
.
While the crowd laughs at him, the Stranger goes to the bar and orders two beer. While he waits, he rubs off the ketchup stain from his clothes with his fingernails.
People are looking at him and the Seeker. The Seeker can't bear standing next to the Stranger and leaves the tavern. The Stranger pays for two beers. 140 Pesos. He then follows the Seeker outside.
.
.
“Wanna go already?” asks the Stranger while sipping from his beer.
“Those guys hate you now,” sighs the Seeker.
“Who cares?” shrugs the Stranger, while gulping down the beer in a single go.
.
.
.
A couple of animals exit the bar. All the animals, that had no place to fit in. All the animals that didn't belong. A rabbit, a cat, a goldfish, a squirrel, a bear, a fox, a goat, a pigeon, an eagle, a chicken in an alien costume and a dog.
.
“I will also follow my destiny,” speaks the eagle with determination. His heart is also activated.
.
.
“Alright,” says a bear with burning eyes. “Let's try going north... Perhaps this is how we'll finally get to Axis Mundi.”
.
“Going north... that sounds fun,” says the smiling fox. “Let's see how far, we'll come.”
.
“We are all gonna die anyway,” sighs the pessimistic goat.
.
“I never tried going north before,” contemplates the curious pigeon.
.
“10 bucks, that I am first at the top of the volcano,” bets the black cat, while looking at her claws.
.
“Deal,” agrees the dog, while hunting his own tail.
.
The rabbit thinks about the taste of carrots. She is hungry.
.
The squirrel is simply happy and excited for the new adventure. She can't stop dancing.
.
The goldfish has no idea, what he's actually doing. He just rolls around in a plastic bag.
“I... I will also walk my path,” speaks up the brave chicken in an alien costume. For the first time, the chickens eyes start burning.
.
.
.
Together, the new group of friends are traveling the northern road. Towards the volcano. As the sunset illuminates their backs, the animals start singing a new song. A song of excitement, of wonder and of bravery. A song, that goes something like: “We have found a way.”
.
.
.
TO BE CONTINUED
.
.
.
^{for more content visit:} We_Are_Humanity
^{Find previous part Here}
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cg7yqg/what_it_means_to_walk_togethe
^{Find next part Here:}
.
.
START JOURNEY HERE: https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/17zwf78/the_seeker_and_the_mysterious_stranger_part_1_of_7/
.
Checkpoint 4
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cbhoml/turning_shit_into_gold/
.
Special Bonus Chapters:
THE ONE TRUE SEEKER AND THE QUESTION OF FREE WILL
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cnaanw/special_bonus_chapter_the_one_true_seeker_and_the/

Part 16: The awakening of the heart
.
.
As the Mysterious Stranger and the Seeker leave the old castle behind, they continue on the snow-covered path. A path appears on the right side, following parallel to their own. The two paths merge into one, which leads towards a volcano. As they progress, another parallel path from the left side merges as well with the current one.
.
In the distance, the Seeker spots a building, where the path tilts uphill. A sign points at a crossroad. An intersection, between realms. The crossroads, where all timelines meet up: Where the westward and the eastward paths meets the northern road.
Where the paths meet, stands a tavern. The lights are on. The chimney is smoking. A sign shows its name:
'The Red Ditch Inn'
.
.
“Wanna get something to drink,” asks the Stranger the Seeker.
“Sure, why not,” accepts the Seeker.
.
.
Before he opens the door knob, the Stranger hesitates and speaks to the Seeker:
“This is the bar, where the timelines of our souls meet up. This is the crossing of our life-paths, the intersection of fate. Be prepared, for what happens next.”
The Seeker and the Stranger walk into the building. As they open the door, they are started by the loud conversations. The inn is full. Many tables with different animals of all species.
.
.
The table in the center of the bar, has a label saying: 'Spirituality'
Around that table sit all kinds of different birds and animals. Pigeons, squirrels, Reptiles, cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, crows, mice, sloths. They are mostly talking about crystals and past lives.
.
.
There was a table, which said: 'astralprojection'. There sat an old bear, who carries many scars, wounded by countless battles, teaching young bear cups, who attentively listen to their elders. Some are making notes.
.
.
Next to it, is a table with a label saying: 'Enlightenment'
There sit some parrots all repeating the same mantra in unison:
“BEFORE ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER, AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER.”
.
.
There is another table, called: 'Awakened'
There sit a caterpillar, a spider, a scorpion and an eagle.
“You have an Ego,” shouts the caterpillar at the spider, pointing his finger.
“No, you have an Ego,” shouts the spider back at the caterpillar.
“You both have an Ego,” accuses the scorpion both the caterpillar and the spider.
“Hey,” shouts the bird. “I am the eagle here!”
.
.
Next to it, is the table of 'nonduality'. The chairs are completely empty. There is no one here.
.
.
On the other side there is another table with many different birds and mammals, some more exotic animals from all around the world. The label says 'Soulnexus'. There is someone constantly screaming at the top of their lungs:
“I AM A PROFFESIONAL PSYCHIC READER WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!”
.
.
One table next to it is called 'starseeds'. The people sitting there do not look like animals, but like strange aliens. Some small and green beings, others big and gray, some with fur, some with scales, some humanoid. They were mostly talking about the past, exchanging some old memories. Among them is a chicken, who wears an alien costume.
.
As one of the Grey beings stands up to go to the toilet, the chicken whispers to the others:
“Psst guys, I think Fred may not be an actual Starseed.”
The other beings around the table start mumbling.
.
.
There is one more table called 'psychonauts'. The Stranger walks towards their table.
“Jo, wazzup Shawty,” greets the Stranger an old friend at the psychonaut-table, with a fist bump. “Long time no see.”
.
“Whoa, it's YOU,” responds the Tiger at the table, with red eyes, smoking his bong. “Last time I've seen you, I was like in DMT realm.”
.
“Is Burt anywhere around?” asks the Stranger.
.
.
“He is sitting there in the corner,” responds Shawty. The tiger points at a traumatized racoon sitting in the dark corner.
“I have seen too much,” mumbles the Burt the Racoon with eyes wide open, like a scratched record.
“I have traveled too far... I have seen, what lies within the emptiness. Never again... I will never do shrooms again...”
.
.
Suddenly the waiter taps the racoons shoulder, ripping him out of his thought loop.
“Sir... Do you wanna order anything?”
.
“Do you have McKennaii?”
“Yes,” responds the waiter.
“Then I'll have 7 grams,” orders the racoon.
.
.
The Seeker has a sudden thought and looks at the Stranger.
“What does the ' slash' on the tables, stand for?”
.
“I don't know...,” shrugs the Stranger. “ It's probably to reserve the table at this inn.”
.
.
.
The Stranger looks at all the tables, they are all talking and talking. Some are playing poker, others are playing dart, some drunks fight each other. Others talk about their identity or their favorite dogma. Some are showing off, how enlightened they are.
As they stand at the crossroads, they can either go Westwards, Eastwards and Northwards. Many have taken the western route, many have went eastwards, but they always ended back at the 'Red Ditch Inn' again.
The newbies, were unsure, whether to go west or east. The experienced ones, knew it doesn't make a difference, they would end up at the bar again anyway. Some were stuck in the bar since many decades, they had given up hope to ever find a way out. But few of them ever dared to walk northwards.
The Stranger sighs, as he looks around. His eyes flame up, he inhales deeply and climbs on a chair. With a raised voice he speaks:
.
.
.
.
“When did we lose our heart?
We lost our heart collectively.
Did we lose it, when we were still cavemen? When we had to survive the cold winters of the ice age? When we hunted down the last Homo Neanderthalensis? Or later on, when the first tribes waged war against each other? Did we lose our heart, when we enslaved each other? Did we lose our hearts, when we dropped atom bombs, or when we caused our first mass extinctions...The crimes, that Humans do in wars... All of us carry the sins of our forefathers on our shoulders.
.
.
We lost our hearts individually.
For the person it starts pretty early in their childhood. We lose our trust, when we are lied to. Almost everyone tastes the pain of Betrayal at least once in life. We are deeply wounded from childhood on. We learn early on, that humans hurt us and thus we become suspicious of humans. We learn not to trust each other. Because we are afraid of being hurt again. And so we close off our heart to protect it.
.
.
What is the heart?
I am not talking about the physical organ. I talk about this part in your 'soul', if I may call it that. It's like the core of our 'soul', of our 'astral body'. The centre of our 'energy' or chakras. We are afraid to open it, because it's very vulnerable. That's why we protect it. We are afraid to open it, because we don't trust each other.
But unless your heart is open, you can never experience unconditional love. Its flame must be activated.
The heart is your connection to everything. The heart is what connects you to 'source', if that's the word, you'd like to use. The heart is from where our love flows.
We have cut off the connection and became separated from the ALL. We made love conditional. We split hating from loving, dislike from like and created duality. We became attached. We let ourselves be corrupted by the Ego.
Now that we have closed the heart, what have we done to the world?
.
.
We turned the world into a place, that almost no one likes. We created a society, that keeps us in narrow boxes. We made the world a lonely place, for everyone to be in. Even in groups, we often feel lonely. We allowed money to rule over us. We allowed ideologies to split us and dogmas to control us.
We have so many different issues, that we just can't seem to overcome. Climate change. Wars. Corrupt politicians. Poverty. Starvation. Meaninglessness. Nihilism.
Where should we start with all that mess?
.
.
With ourselves. That is the place, where the transformation needs to start. We need to evolve. One person at a time. Only then, can the collective transform as well.
We need to open the mind and the heart. To see and to feel. To be aware and to love. We need to find harmony within ourselves. End the inner conflict and find peace within.
Find your own truest path.
Let go of any limiting beliefs. Let go of any attachments. Forgive whoever needs forgiveness and apologize to clear your regrets. Find Love.
Find your light within. See your light in all people. Love your enemies.
Recognize the Ego, be aware of what makes it grow. Become aware of any negative thought patterns. Be disciplined.
Clear your own shadows. Face your Trauma. Heal your inner child.
Get free from all bodily addictions. Be free of fear. Be free of suffering.
See the beauty of all things. Find joy in every moment.
Surrender yourself. Follow the heart. Be proud and courageous. Accept your life and your story. Embrace your story, without being attached to it.
Find your purpose. End the Seeking.
Be your authentic Self. Express Love through your character.
Become Love.
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This is a possible path. And I just gave you the map. It can be walked. It was walked before. But it is a path into unknown territory. Only the bravest of you can walk this path. It's not for the faintest of heart.
You see, you all either follow the path of the left and go westwards or you follow the path on the right and go eastwards... But no matter how far you go, you'll always end up at the crossroads again. You never make any real progress.
What if there is another path? What if there's another way? What if I say, 'let us go north?!'”
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Some of the crowd are in shock. Some are laughing. Others are mumbling.
“You can't walk north,” says a crow from the projectors. “It's impossible.”
“Everyone knows, that the northern road is a dead-end,” says an awakened Caterpillar. “It's a waste of time going up there. You can't go further, than the volcano.”
A psychonaut horse laughs. “That will be fun. Can't wait to see their disappointed faces, when they walk all the way back down.”
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The Stranger continues undeterred:
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“Why are you walking the spiritual path?
You felt called to do it, didn't you? You felt something within you. Something made click. You understood, that there is a deeper truth, that you must find. There was this deep longing within you. So you started walking.
What were the first things, that you were seeking?
You were seeking answers.
What were your first questions? You were asking, 'What is my purpose?' You were asking 'Why am I here'?
And you have searched in so many places. But no matter which answer you got, you were never fully satisfied. Because it wasn't your answer. Because it was someone else's answer.
So you stopped seeking. Either you were content with some unfulfilling answers or you just simply gave up. When did you stop finding your own answers?
Dogma or tradition give us easy answers. When we are attached to them, when we build an identity around them, we become unable to find our own answers. But you can't end Seeking with someone elses answers. Only when you have claimed the answer for yourself, can the Seeker transform into something different. Into something new.
Just ending the Seeker, like cutting off a limb, won't do it. The Seeker needs to find their answer to the question 'What is my purpose?' Not one, they read from textbooks. Not an answer, that someone else can give them. When ONE has found their own unique purpose in life, then instead of 'seeking', there is only 'expressing'.”
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“I see that you are advanced,” speaks an enlightened owl. “However you are blinded by idealism. When you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss will stare back at you.”
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“My friend,” says the Stranger. “I have not only stared into the abyss, I went to hell and back again to find my answer.”
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Everyone falls silent, the Stranger continues:
“It was always here on earth. Heaven. It was always within us. Take a look around you. There is beauty in all things. If you search for it, you can find joy in every moment. Look for love in the world and you shall find love everywhere. Meet Life with gratitude and wonder. Face your experience, like an adventurer faces his challenge. Express unconditional love through your very being. Because this is how we heal Humanities greatest wound: The scar of nihilism.
It has all become so meaningless to us, hasn't it?
Memorizing knowledge at school or college, that you'll never need in real life. This feeling of being stuck in life. Day to day, going to a dead-end job for minimum wage. Living an unfulfilled life. The shattering of broken dreams. The tears of our suffering.
You know, why everything has become so meaningless?
We let our hearts get cold. After falling, we stopped getting back up again. We stopped facing our challenges.
You see, after every defeat, Humanity always got back up again. No matter how tough the challenge may seemed, Humanity never gave up.
We have forgotten, who we are.
All of us are Humanity. You, Me, everyone. We are all humanity. You, the individual human are HUMANITY. You are the Rest of mankind. Because we are all the same in our essence. When you open your heart, then this is your name: 'HUMANITY'
Because you see yourself in every other human. This is the name of the divine spark that sits within all of us. It is the fire, that burns in our eyes. This is Humanity: An archetype of victory and an idea of unity.
Let me ask you a very direct question. If we all came together to do our part, do you think that we could actually clean up the mess we have created? Do you think we have a chance of not only to survive but even to evolve as a species? And perhaps write even greater stories, than ever before?”
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The entire crowd is silent. Most of them avoid eye contact. People start mumbling.
Then the crowd slowly gets louder again and the conversations on each table, continue as if nothing ever happened.
As the Stranger steps down from the chair, a monkey gets up from one of the tables, points his finger and screams:
“Look guys, this dude has ketchup on his outfit.”
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While the crowd laughs at him, the Stranger goes to the bar and orders two beer. While he waits, he rubs off the ketchup stain from his clothes with his fingernails.
People are looking at him and the Seeker. The Seeker can't bear standing next to the Stranger and leaves the tavern. The Stranger pays for two beers. 140 Pesos. He then follows the Seeker outside.
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“Wanna go already?” asks the Stranger while sipping from his beer.
“Those guys hate you now,” sighs the Seeker.
“Who cares?” shrugs the Stranger, while gulping down the beer in a single go.
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A couple of animals exit the bar. All the animals, that had no place to fit in. All the animals that didn't belong. A rabbit, a cat, a goldfish, a squirrel, a bear, a fox, a goat, a pigeon, an eagle, a chicken in an alien costume and a dog.
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“I will also follow my destiny,” speaks the eagle with determination. His heart is also activated.
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“Alright,” says a bear with burning eyes. “Let's try going north... Perhaps this is how we'll finally get to Axis Mundi.”
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“Going north... that sounds fun,” says the smiling fox. “Let's see how far, we'll come.”
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“We are all gonna die anyway,” sighs the pessimistic goat.
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“I never tried going north before,” contemplates the curious pigeon.
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“10 bucks, that I am first at the top of the volcano,” bets the black cat, while looking at her claws.
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“Deal,” agrees the dog, while hunting his own tail.
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The rabbit thinks about the taste of carrots. She is hungry.
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The squirrel is simply happy and excited for the new adventure. She can't stop dancing.
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The goldfish has no idea, what he's actually doing. He just rolls around in a plastic bag.
“I... I will also walk my path,” speaks up the brave chicken in an alien costume. For the first time, the chickens eyes start burning.
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Together, the new group of friends are traveling the northern road. Towards the volcano. As the sunset illuminates their backs, the animals start singing a new song. A song of excitement, of wonder and of bravery. A song, that goes something like: “We have found a way.”
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TO BE CONTINUED
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^{for more content visit:} We_Are_Humanity
^{Find previous part Here}
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cg7yqg/what_it_means_to_walk_togethe
^{Find next part Here:}
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START JOURNEY HERE: https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/17zwf78/the_seeker_and_the_mysterious_stranger_part_1_of_7/
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Checkpoint 4
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cbhoml/turning_shit_into_gold/
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Special Bonus Chapters:
THE ONE TRUE SEEKER AND THE QUESTION OF FREE WILL
https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cnaanw/special_bonus_chapter_the_one_true_seeker_and_the/