I’ve been typed in MBTI but as a multitude of different types, and only once by Socionicists before (is that a word?), but was in a very unhealthy mental place then and I’m not sure it was accurate. I've filled out the questionnaire and tried to be thorough, although I think it comes across as rather muddled in some points, so I'm happy to clarify any bits. Thanks in advance for any help or input!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• I study medieval languages and literature and folklore at a PhD level. I came into this somewhat accidentally - I’ve always been interested in history (not solely medieval), but began to specialise a bit more and found I had a knack for picking up several dead languages quite quickly. I always say I came to it by accident, but that sort of downplays how much I love it, and how I’ve been obsessed with history since I was a child.
• I love getting perspectives from the past and thinking about different belief systems, how perspectives on the world have changed diachronically and vary geographically. I want to understand the people of the past, sort of as an example of innate archetypical humanity in incredibly varied contexts. Reading these texts helps me understand people I know, myself, and humanity as a whole better. I also love how varied my day can be - I go to new places each year, I work on different projects each month, and I solve different problems each day.
• I dislike some of the instability surrounding future jobs - although I’m in one of the best departments in the world for this topic, it can be very difficult to get a job post-PhD in academia, something that remains a worry despite not being an imminent problem to solve.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I work a lot and my partner says I don’t know how to relax. So a lot of my “hobbies” are doing things like learning extra languages (I recently started German), specifically languages that will be useful for my future studies/work.
• I work out pretty consistently, a mix of strength-training and cardio. I try to keep it even (although I read somewhere that a 60/40 split is optimal, 50/50 is close enough). I do this for a mix of health benefits, stress-relief (possibly could be considered a health benefit) and vanity. I will drop workouts when work becomes too busy though (it’s not priority number one)
• I like rock-climbing and hiking when I can, but I don’t do this daily.
• I plan future travels and work, and I also really like organising social events, but most of that is centred around organising and helping run departmental events at the moment. Despite this, I can be a bit of a shut-in on a day-to-day basis.
• I also play video games as stress relief, if I’ve completed enough stuff in the day. Games like Skyrim, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.
• I also spend a lot of time on reddit reading about various topics related to fantasy novels or videogames, mythology, psychology and psychiatry, various personality-typing systems, true crime (although less into this one than the others) also watch youtube videos about such things.

What are your values, and why?

• I value determination, grit, and intelligence in friends quite a bit, and a sort of “can-do” optimism
• I value inclusivity, I dislike cliquish behaviour.
• I sort of don’t know how to describe this, but I find it annoying when people try to interfere in my work to suit their agenda - I value a sort of friendly “live and let live” mentality.
• Following on that, I value approaching people with an understanding rather than judgmental mindset

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• I am not super hands on with my family - I live on the other side of the world from them - but I do like them, and keep connected electronically and through weekly or fortnightly Skype calls. I sometimes feel that they don’t really understand my interests, but they do care and try to pay attention regardless, and I know they see me as somewhat distant, but they see that as a personality quirk rather than indicative of lack of affection.
• I don’t have a super large friend group at the moment but have in the past. I’m focussing on quality over quantity at the moment, after spending a lot of time working in nightlife earlier in my life and having the massive social circles.
• I appreciate that my friends are intelligent, passionate, well-travelled and ambitious people.
• I struggle sometimes when friends don’t take me into account when I have done so for them, and I also sometimes find people a bit too caught up in their own worldviews and concerns without seeing what (to me) is the bigger community picture. I also really dislike when people try to apply moral pressure on me (that I have to care about a cause or I’m a bad person, etc.). I also find it frustrating when I’m the sole organiser of events or meet-ups.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• This was somewhat answered above, but I also enjoy outgoing and warm people, and people who I think I can rely upon. I try to take people as they come, though, and have had all sorts of friends.
• In romantic relationships, I like when people are ambitious, determined, and intelligent but also kind and passionate people. I like them to have a level of overlapping interests with me (my partner is also a medieval scholar, but works more with artefacts and museum work).

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I can be accidentally rude at times without realising, and also can be a bit dismissive of views I think are dumb, sometimes hastily so.
• I can over-explain or simply talk too much or over-theorise
• I can be a bit of a people-pleaser
• A recent conflict was my trying to organise a departmental event and the other graduate students not contributing or seeing the larger picture of how that would help our department as a community, which I got very frustrated by.

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• I work really hard
• I try to create opportunities not just for myself but for those around me. I think we (not the whole world, obviously, but those around me) can all succeed.
• I am thorough in everything and don’t really half-ass stuff.
• I am pretty friendly and always up for a chat or to be a shoulder to cry on, and am pretty nonjudgmental (one friend says I always try to attribute other’s actions to a positive motive)

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I can be impatient and don’t know how to relax/wait for things.
• Sometimes I can come across as weird or intense, and I wish I was better at toning that down and relating to people
• I get pretty insecure about what people think of me at times, and wish I was a little better or more confident there.
• I take on too much work - I have been called an “arbeidsoptimist” before
• Sometimes I can be overly conflict-avoidant - I’ll get frustrated by people, but try to work around that.
• I can be a bit hesitant about making decisions
• I have a moderately murky sense of self - hence the need for a typing questionnaire and struggles with self-typing
• When stressed, I catastrophise a lot, and can have quite a lot of anxiety about not living up to my potential or failing at the things I am working on.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I am good at keeping myself on task and working towards goals, I don’t really struggle with motivation or such.
• I’m pretty good at building connections and friendships with professors and other people and maintaining a sort of warm, friendly atmosphere in workplaces.
• I need help at times figuring which information is important and which can be left out. My work tends to spiral outwards and things like page-counts in papers or time-limits in presentations seem horrendously oppressive.
• I need help with taxes.
• I sometimes need help figuring out why I’m upset about things.
• I would like help figuring out my socionics type ;)

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike cooking (it just doesn’t interest me, although I enjoy tasting different kinds of food, I am also happy eating the same thing everyday, which I do when I live on my own).
• I dislike things like taxes.
• I am struggling with this question. I guess I dislike when I cannot plan and have to wait and see about more information (not strictly a “dislike doing” answer). Unresolved problems or conflicts give me a lot of anxiety.
• I enjoy going to museums, climbing, exercise (while listening to a podcast about an interest, preferably in another language), analysing medieval literature, planning initiatives, theorising and brainstorming with professors and some friends.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• I want to publish more articles in and outside of my field. I have a couple I’m working on now, which range from 19th century literature (recently accepted as a journal article!) to niche folklore topics (recently presented at a conference) to medieval travel literature (readying for publication), so that is my immediate term, along with some travel for language-study later in the summer.
• Long term, I want to finish my PhD and become a professor in my field at a research-heavy (R1 or the equivalent) university
• I hope to master more languages (I need working competency in 5 to even pass my PhD qualifying exams), and to do so, I plan to travel (and acquire funding for that).
• I also want to be a little closer to my family, and take care of my partner and eventually marry.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I have a lot of trinkets, artifacts, candles, and pieces of artwork up in my room. They are pretty varied, from statues (a bronze buddha from Sri Lanka, a basalt Horus from Egypt, and so forth) to artwork (Dante’s inferno by Botticelli, a Dali painting is up too at the moment), to some tibetan prayer flags, etc. Basically just stuff I’ve gotten from travels or as gifts.
• I’m pretty clean, in all honesty. I don’t mind clutter, but I don’t like when things are dirty.

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

• Exactly what I am doing, but I’d have a nicer place to live and worry a little less. I acquire external funding for a lot of my travels, etc., so that stuff wouldn’t really change.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

• I find it somewhat endearing when people talk a lot about their own interests. I can usually relate it to things I am interested in without needing them to do that for me, and I also usually just find those things interesting.
• I find it endearing when
• I sometimes find it difficult when people leave all decision-making up to me, even if they’re trying to be flexible/easy. I can make the decisions, but don’t always like to.

How do you behave around strangers?

• I am very polite, but don’t really engage with strangers that often. I can be a bit shy, and used to have a decent amount of social anxiety, but lately I’m just not interested in interacting with strangers.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• Conflict really causes me a lot of anxiety if it’s with someone I know or have to see in the future. In those instances, I usually just don’t end up in conflict with them: I’m pretty friendly and try to see people’s perspectives.
• If not, and it’s with a stranger, I kind of just ignore them.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Not sure. I kind of prefer doing what I’m doing now - the research and teaching aspects. I don’t really know what sort of value I’d be adding to the world with a business, but I suppose if I could find something that was both interesting for me and seemed to fill a needed niche, sure.
• I like the business Facsimile finder, they make medieval manuscript reproductions. Perhaps something like that, or creating a sort of community centre/third place (I used to think about owning a pub, back in my bartending days).

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• I keep things pretty simple, and try to stick to classic clothes (rather than trendy). Timeless and simple, more or less. That being said, I enjoy colours, and try to model my wardrobe a bit off of an autumnal palate (I got really into colour season theory a couple of months ago briefly, and was “typing” all of my friends and myself, now I just use it when thrifting for new clothes).
• I pretty much exclusively get clothes either as gifts or through thrift stores. I sort of really dislike shopping otherwise.
• I take care of myself physically, and keep a simple but effective skincare routine and eat moderately healthy. It stresses me out when things like skincare have too many steps, though.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah, I think kids are nice. I appreciate how much potential they have and how good-hearted and imaginative they usually are. That being said, I don’t always find them particularly interesting, so I guess more of a generally benevolent ambivalence from my end.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I’m pretty fulfilled right now, in all honesty. I have work that challenges me but is super interesting and allows (and pays) for lots of travel, I have a loving partner, I have a relatively secure future for the remainder of my PhD programme (minimum four more years).
• I do wish I had a better social circle right now though, but I honestly haven’t put enough effort in to build one (I have two social circles but we’re all busy/inconsistent).

Just recently got a new job. I had been looking for over a year, and it's the first opportunity presented to me. I'm now only 2 days in and all I can think is I wish I never saw the email and was still jobless..
Trying to finish my AA so I can raise my GPA and pursue a bachelor's and even masters possibly close to full time. However I am low on money because I had not worked since 2022.
I was very overweight and had extreme mental issues. I fixed a lot of the physical stuff, and mental stuff has got slightly better do to bettering my life style and some medical diagnosis, but still not great.
I needed money though. What little I had is all but gone, and my mom has been letting me live at home for free. I spent what little I had on classes, and even then it was not enough for my last spring semester and the current summer one. My mom also assisted with those too.
I feel like such a a freeloader because I was not providing any money to myself, nor her and she was letting me live here for free and eat her groceries. It disgusted me, but I was in such a rough position working a job was impossible for me.
Now I got this new job. Working in IT for a college specializing in Dental medicine, and I am only 2 days in and hate it. Now a huge reason is because of 2 things outside of the job, and both sort of affecting each other.
1.) my exercise routine. I was biking 100 miles a week and working out 4 days a week on a very religious schedule, and seeing great results. My body fat percent was going down wonderfully, and I felt amazing health wise. Now I cannot do that unless I want to sleep less than 8 hours a night, which is already hard for me to get, especially because of my extreme anxiety and depressive issues. 2.) school. I am still 21 credit hours away from finishing my AA. I am currently taking pre calc, math being a subject I am very not good at, and I have almost no time to do it. I come home from work, and immediately heat up food and sit down to try and get in a lecture and finish homework, and I barely get it done. I have no time to workout or ride my bike or any exercise after work because it takes me all of my time to heat up dinner, prepare lunch for the next day, clean what needs cleaned, shower and do all the pre calc that needs done.
I am terrified the mental progress I have made is going out the door, as well as the physical fitness, and I'm scared I will fail precalculus lowering my GPA and forcing me to retake it. (Also wasting 500 bucks).
On top of all of that, the job has been nuts. I am 2 days in, and already my entire department seems to hate life. The IT director constantly jokes about firing people and us, all the people underneath him talk shit about each other, there is 0 onboarding process for a new hire, and I'm already doing so many projects I have had to skip lunch, and then get asked by 5 different hr people why I skipped lunch. They tell me to stay and do work and then ask me why I'm still here. I am also being told that as an hourly employee only supposed to work Monday through Friday, that June 2nd I have to work all day Sunday for the students graduation even though I have an exam due that night. So not only am I just out of the blue being forced to work a 6th day that week, but I have to come home and immediately take a pre calc test I will most likely be barley prepared for.
My mom tells me " if you think you need tutoring you should do it" like when the hell am I supposed to have time for that ?? I don't even have time to do anything else.
This is the first week on the job, I will be lucky if I finish all of my homework before Friday when it's do, and even then, I have an exam this Sunday already and will probably have to spend the entire day Saturday and Sunday preparing for it, and skip any chance and physical exercise, or spend time exercising and risk having to stay up all night and being under prepared.
My anxiety is through the fucking roof. I used to have panic attacks constantly, and luckily I have not reached that point, but I feel like my blood pressure is so high that my veins are about to Burst.
I mean I'm 2 fucking days in... How am I supposed to do this for the rest of precalculus. I mean honestly if I make it through this class and pass it I don't think any other class will lose a threat, but it's just insane...
Idk how people do this. I don't get why our society makes it impossible for people to find a job and work hard and have that job make time for school. I have to deal with corporate ass holes who want me to work to the bone just so I can afford to fail my classes... Like what the fuck.
I felt horrible being in the situation I was in not providing any money to myself or my mom... But fuck I want to literally blow my brains out now. Maybe it will get more relaxed, but I can't see that happening whatsoever until I get deeper into precalculus and see if i will even pass it ..
I have 0 people to count on too. No one is supportive whatsoever. No one to hug, or get reassurance from. My mom just says this is how it is and doesn't care. I can't talk to a therapist because anytime I say anything more than I'm sad they want to lock me in a psych ward because no one gives a rats ass about mental health in Florida, or America. I have no friends in real life within 500 miles of me. It's just me.
Idk what to do. Idk what to believe in. Idk how to calm myself, or cope. I can't do any of the things that we're making my life better.
The one thing I have still going strong is diet. I also wake up with enough time before work to at least go on a quick jog before I get ready and leave, but it isn't enough.
I feel like If I can't find some sort of relief or balance I'm going to be right back to crying and panic attacks In the bathroom in a matter of weeks.
I honestly hate life. I wish I could go back to younger me and tell him to sweat blood trying to get into a university with full scholarships so I could pursue The education I dream of full time and find a job I truly enjoy. That is still my long term goal, but I feel like I'm killing myself to get there.
I know so many people do stuff like this and make it though, but so all of those people have decades of issues with major anxiety and depression? Have they all thought about suicide since they were 13 ?
Maybe they have, but for fucks sakes if they have can they at least hug me or just reassure me everything will be okay ???
Because life is very difficult right now.
Also I typed this on my phone, so if some words seem out of place, I probably missed a letter here or there and phone auto corrected.

So I’m 35, living at home with a decent job that would have gotten me a house years back, but pays too little with inflation for that dream now. But let's start when I was younger and see where I went wrong. Let's see, I was able to attend private school, was put in tutoring when I had reading comprehension issues. While I never did pass geometry(failed twice), I was okay at math and use it pretty regularly in my line of work. And to top it all off, I took extra classes in highschool, and was able to graduate highschool. I then had half my vocational schooling paid for, so I'd have a decent job to help continue to pay for community college. Looking back, I had every opportunity to succeed and here I am at a park near my parents home with my little sister (she wanted to tag along but chooses to sit 35-40ft from me) because honestly, there’s no comfortable place to work/type. I will be forever grateful to my parents for giving me as much as they did and allowing one of their oldest children to move back home (yet again) due to my poor choices in life.
Yes, I'm aware there are many of us living at home because of the state of the economy but I could have managed money as well as staying on top of class work, instead of spending and not going to class. I have reasons for not continuing school, but honestly, they’re just excuses. Not saying school would have changed too much considering that a good number of millennials seem to be suffering regardless of education, but perhaps staying in school would have helped me be the type of person to see things through, instead of quitting. Guess l’ll never know.
The schooling I did get was in the food industry, so most of you know that type of work, the hours and the pay…it’s all shit. So I spent my twenties working two jobs, falling asleep on the road or anywhere I could sit really. If it weren’t for my ex, idk how I would have survived. We split bills when we moved in together when I was 19 but it was clear, my pay was hardly enough to cover my share. I’d have to wake him up at 4 in the morning just for gas money sometimes…back when twenty bucks could get you a ½ a tank of gas. At least I was slightly on my own, and had a good taste of freedom for a grand total of 6 years.
I moved home at 28 and spent recklessly because I could. Yep, I was the millennial who couldn’t afford to move out but I could afford stitchfix, amazon crap, doordash and little vacations because I didn’t get to experience those things in my early twenties. So my early thirties were spent having the fun I rarely had, and getting in relationships I didn't get to experience. ALL of that left me with 8000 in debt…still debating if it was worth it.
I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m not looking for hate either. I take full responsibility for where I’m at right now. The idea of owning a home or condo or anything at this point seems like a fairytale. Having a family and kids seems irresponsible considering everything. I’m not angry, but I am envious of those who chose a different path and have those things.
But I am wondering, are there others out there in the same or similar predicament as mine? I in no way hate my life, but it could have been much better. I answered a reddit about what I liked to do in SF and my answer seemed to concern someone enough to alert reddit who then sent me a message listing resources to get help. Part of what I said was, “contemplating the meaning of my life”. Not it a suicidal way, but a reflective way.
I also know that things can change. I am doing what I can to save and such, but I have to sorta be okay with where I’m at, so I can wake up and keep it pushing. I have to deal with my reality and be grateful for what I have so I can hold onto some type of happiness.

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting)
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)

Race Information

• Name: Eugene Marathon
• Date: April 28, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Eugene, OR
• Website: https://www.eugenemarathon.com
• Strava: https://strava.app.link/XYl9QkmpcJb
• Time: 3:26:57

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 3:30	Yes
B	Finish my first marathon!	Yes

Splits

Mile	Time
1	8:03
2	7:41
3	7:49
4	7:56
5	7:46
6	7:33
7	7:37
8	7:39
9	7:45
10	7:31
11	7:44
12	7:49
13	7:42
14	7:39
15	7:36
16	7:42
17	8:05
18	8:09
19	7:55
20	7:42
21	7:56
22	7:42
23	8:03
24	8:00
25	8:05
26	8:15
26.2	7:53

Training

I'm a 37M who has never been a runner in the past, mostly just ran short distances in order to maintain fitness for the various sports that I played. My main form of exercise prior to this was pick-up basketball a couple days a week, which for those of you who know ball, mainly involves short sprints with periods of standing around (obviously I should be crashing the boards more). A friend invited me to run the Eugene Marathon (our hometown race) with him and on a whim I said yes. How hard could it be? Unbeknownst to me, really freaking hard.
My training block started in December with no formal training plan. I took a look at all the various recommended plans, from Hanson's to Pfitz 18/55, and loosely based my training on a mishmash of these. Ultimately I ended up averaging 20-40 miles per week, usually with one or two easy runs, one speed session, one tempo run, and one long run. I realize that this is lowish mileage, but it was all I could honestly pull off with three kids and a demanding job. I spent the first weeks just getting used to running, figuring out what good running form is supposed to be, how to tackle track workouts, how to interpret my Garmin data, and assembling some sort of a shoe rotation. I didn't have a time goal in mind at first, but as my running fitness slowly revealed itself, I made an arbitrary goal of sub-3:30. Ambitious for a first marathon, but according to my metrics theoretically obtainable.
Training went well and I was able to avoid injury. I ended up completing three long runs of 20, 20, and 21 miles each, each with a good amount of marathon pace (7:50) miles. Looking back, this may not have been optimal since about 40-50% of my weekly mileage was concentrated in these long runs, leading to longer recovery times afterwards. I practiced with Maurten gels, found them easy to handle, and decided to stick with them for race day. Turns out that I can handle more affordable gels too (more on that later), so maybe I'll change things up for the next training block. Strength training was sprinkled in haphazardly, mostly doing upper body work because my legs would be tired. This would come back to mildly haunt me during the race. In any case, training felt like it went relatively smoothly, though I would in retrospect add in some more hill work.

Pre-race

Tapered for a couple weeks before race day, which felt very odd. I was getting all sorts of weird aches and pains that I hadn't experienced before, and the runs that I did ended up feeling pretty sluggish. I may experiment with a shorter (7-10 day) taper in the future to see if it feels any different. Carb loaded the week before just by trying to eat more rice, pasta, and bread, but didn't try to count grams. Honestly, I love carb loading, it felt fantastic to eat a bunch of carbs when I had been trying to avoid it to stave off the dad-bod in the past few years.
Eugene being my hometown race, it was pretty nice to sleep in my own bed the night before. I did wake up in a cold sweat at 4AM because I had an incredibly vivid nightmare that I woke up at 7:05 and missed the start, that was real fun. Ate a bagel with peanut butter, bananas, and honey, drank my customary cup of coffee, evacuated the bowels, and caught a ride to the race with a buddy who I was running with. I have no other races to compare this with, but Eugene felt like a really well organized race, with tons of portapotties, volunteers, and quick gear check. Pre-race went without a hitch and we made it into Corral B about 15 minutes before the start. I had no idea it was going to be that crowded, but it was fun chatting with the people around us as we tried to stay warm. The announcer counted us down, and off we went!

Race

Miles 1-13
This being my first marathon, I kind of knew to expect a crowded start, but I wasn't fully prepared for exactly how crowded it would be. I ended up trying to keep to the edges to try and maintain my pace, but that did lead to some weaving and jumping over curbs/puddles/potholes, which may have come back to bite me later in the race. The first few miles of the race went reasonably well as I tried to keep to my planned pace of 7:40-7:50 min/mile and I felt fine. I stuck to my fueling strategy of a Maurten 100 every 30 minutes, alternating between regular and caf gels. I also tried to grab Nuun drink and down it while running - I quickly figured out after the first station that I would just end up aspirating half of the drink and have a violent coughing fit. I'd end up walking and drinking the rest of the stations. The crowds were amazing and I found myself smiling and waving to nearly every spectator that I ran by, especially the ones with hilarious signs. Shout out There was a long gradual uphill early on, which didn't really give me any problems, and then a much steeper but shorter hill afterwards that I tried to take slowly. I have naturally high turnover (cadence 180-190 usually) and I found myself really rocketing down the declines as I tried to make a conscious effort to not brake with my heels. This caused me to take the downhills at a stupid pace (6:15-6:30) and probably came back to hurt me later in the race. In retrospect, braking on the downhills is probably necessary in order to maintain a reasonable pace and save my quads. The Springfield section saw us running down a couple major roads by some construction, which was a little bit of a drag. But then I saw my wife, kids, and some friends cheering wildly after turning off of Main Street and that gave me a huge boost. Couldn't wipe the stupid smile off my face as we headed back towards Alton Baker.
Miles 14-21
This was a section of the race that was a little sparser on the crowds, which made it feel tougher. In addition, as I reached to grab my gel for mile 16, I realized that one of my caf gels had fallen out of my half-tights, which sent me into a minor panic. Thankfully, the course had 3 gel stations interspersed throughout the course, which would ultimately save me. That being said, the mental burden of having my fueling strategy thrown off was hard to shake. I ended up involuntarily slowing down my pace at miles 17-19 as I felt my legs slow down, which had never happened to me before during long training runs. I believe that much of this was purely mental, since I had stuck to my fueling up to that point, and we were on the river path which little to no crowd support. At mile 19 I saw my family again, which gave me another big boost and I felt like I was able to pick up my pace again. I also was able to grab a Gu from an aid station and choked it down. Having only trained with Maurtens, the Gu's thick consistency threw me for a loop - I felt like I was eating a chocolate pudding. Not a fan. Still, it gave me enough energy to pick up the pace for a couple of miles. A friend who was aiming for the same time goal caught up to me and we ran together for the rest of this section, which was a godsend. My legs were still turning over, but they were starting to feel heavier and I felt like it was getting tougher to maintain a sub-8:00 pace.
Miles 22-26.2
This was where things got hard. Most of this was still on the river path, which was very familiar territory since I had trained almost all my long runs on this path. Knowing what to expect maybe gave me a slight mental advantage, but the fact remained that my legs were feeling heavy and my breathing was started to get more ragged. My running buddy eventually cramped up at mile 23 and had to drop back to stretch, meanwhile I trucked on, focusing on trying to keep my legs moving. Around mile 24 I felt my left calf start to spasm and I had to back off on pace to prevent a full cramp. At mile 25 my right hamstring started to do the same, and then my left hamstring. I was somehow able to keep my legs turning but I felt like I was on the razor's edge between running and having full-blown cramps. I saw lots of people pulled off to the side trying to stretch and I shouted encouragement as best as I could. As we got out of the trees and onto the street towards Hayward, the crowd thickened and their cheering pushed me onwards. I tried to pick up the pace, but immediately felt my hamstrings spasming so I backed off. Finally, rounding into Hayward was amazing, with all the spectators in the stands cheering us on. I saw my kids at the front row, cheering wildly and waving their signs, and it gave me some impetus to push myself to a "sprint" to the finish line. I knew I had finished under my 3:30 goal, but had no idea how far under I was. It wasn't until I pulled up the official chip time later that I saw my final time of 3:26:57. I did it! I waited around for some other friends to finish, and we hobbled off of the field together.

Post-race

Found my family and gave them all huge hugs - having never had run an official marathon before, I had no idea how much of a boost I would get from seeing them. I had previously thought that running was almost purely physical, and it would be impossible to push past physicial limits that were defined by your training. But somehow at the end, even though I was on the brink of cramping, I was able to pick up my pace and sprint to the end. I had to attribute that to seeing my kids at the finish line.
Overall I was really happy with my results, especially given my relatively low weekly mileage in training and it being my first marathon. I can't say that I have ever known such physical suffering as I felt in miles 22-26, but it felt great to be able to push through that pain and finish relatively strong. I've been bitten by the running bug and I've already signed up for the next one!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph

I (25F) have had a nearly constant burning sensation in my lower left leg for months. I cannot figure out what this is. I'm very scared about having a DVT, but I don't really have any of the symptoms I keep reading about. The area is not discolored, it's not sensitive to the touch, it doesn't hurt when I squeeze it or point my toes up or stretch it out, no cramps, none of that. The only thing is that my left leg seems to be a bit bigger than my right, but not by much.
I'm not active and have been unemployed for a while, so I'm not really doing any exercise..bad I know. I'm also overweight. I suspect the only other thing would be a circulation issue or nerve damage. Sometimes I sit in a certain position in my chair where I tuck that leg underneath me and bend it, and maybe it's nerve damage or a pinched nerve or something? Sometimes the pain extends up towards my knee but never past that point. This pain doesn't happen in my right leg.
It gets worse when I'm laying in bed and I'm putting more pressure on the area, like laying on my side or something. That area of my shin/outer calf will start burning. But it's mainly burning on the top of my shin like on the bone. Also it isn't warm when I touch it...it's more like a deep burning under the skin or muscle. It's not an extreme kind of pain that takes the breath out of me, it's just like a general discomfort from burning and it does hurt mildly sometimes. This is a lot and sounds confusing I know...but I'm just looking for someone to give me any insight.
If it helps, I'm on blood pressure medication and one for my hypothyroidism.

This is my first time posting in reddit, I really don't know who to talk to about this because I'm scared of being told to that Im dramatic lmao. I was mainly going to ask for advice but I feel like I'd rant more than actually ask for help haha. My grammar is bad btw. (edit : after I finished writing this, I was right that I ended up ranting instead lol. don't mind me, I feel like I just needed to get this off my chest and my notes doesnt really help with it)
So a little background about me. I'm someone who had been considered "gifted" ever since I was young. According to my teachers, I tend to learn quicker than my peers and requires little to no effort in doing so. I also have a weird way of doing math which is basically just shortcuts but the end result is always right anyway so my teacher would just end up accepting it but warns me to use proper formula during exams. I also like watching those what if science vids, so my mind is really packed with useless stocked knowledge that comes handy when the lesson is somehow related to the things I know. Overall, I'm considered smart for basically not trying at all in school. It changed during 6th grade though, I experienced many deaths among loved ones during those year and it really messed up my health. It also doesn't help that for some reason my father blamed me for my younger sister's death, atleast that's how I remember it. I became top student to "alitaptap" real quick. It really damaged my pride yk lmao, I won't deny that I took pride on how I'm smarter than my peers at class (I know there are other people more smarter than me but in my class, I know that most of them are slow) I think it's the way I'm raised but the fact that Im aware of it, means that I should work on my attitude and all.
Anyways, I tried my best to regain myself in highschool, it all went well til 10th grade which is the current grade I'm in. It feels like everytime I'm close to graduation, shits always happen to me, I dont know if this is some kind of obstacle that I need to tackle but it really frustrates me and I know it's a me problem but I can't help but feel unmotivated. My parents seperated at the start od 10th grade. I had no time to process things and I have to look after my younger siblings too cause both of my parents refuse to be in the same room together which makes it harder for us, their kids. I wasn't in honor students at 3rd quarter and I'm already scared for 4th quarter. I feel like I won't make it and I'm self pitying myself again. I really wanted to be in STEM and I passed my entrance exam to a school I wanted, but I'm already overthinking that I would not be accepted because of my low grades in my last year of highschool.
I just want to cry at this point but that wont help with anything. I really hate myself for being easily affected ; so when my mom and dad would fight, I will lose motivation in whatever I'm doing and it can go on for days. I shouldve just stayed at grandma's during my 10th grade to ensure that I wont be bothered at all but I dont want to leave my siblings in that situation alone. I really feel shitty and like, being the first born, it feels like theres alot of pressure. My mom kept on reminding me too what happened to my aunt (my aunt is the first born among 5 siblings, really smart but ended up the worst during her highschool and college years because of family circumstances)
It wouldve been more comforting to cry this all out to my friends but I don't want to traumadump on them or smt, especially since one of my friends are in honors too and know my situation. I dont want her to feel guilty when its not really her business and frankly, she wont be able to help me since I refuse to cheat my way though homeworks and quizzes.

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I’m pretty nervous about quitting ngl. I’m 17F and have worked at my current company for over a year now. This company sorta planned on me staying, even though I never confirmed that, so I’m worried they aren’t gonna be happy. I went through the job list the past year and I have done over 50% of them, so I’m worried they aren’t going to be able to handle me leaving? But at the same time, I feel like a company shouldn’t really be relying on the high school intern for engineering?
Anyways, my school got an email last week from this massive multi billion refinery company near me, in which they offered me an engineering internship because they saw I placed at a drafting competition at states. This job pays less than my current, especially considering my current job said they would give me another raise if I stay for the summer, but I decided it was worth doing so I could diversify a bit. It’s also just a massive company that will look good and I will learn a lot, no matter how it goes.
My plan to quit is to talk to my boss and hand him a written letter. I want to make sure to give them two weeks, but I’m still nervous they might be upset I didn’t give more of a notice? But I also didn’t know I would get this job until a few days ago. Does anybody know how to break the news lightly? My boss is pretty nice, I honestly just feel a bit bad because I currently have the most open jobs and everybody in engineering is buried, and they will be especially buried when they have to split my jobs up.
Also does anybody know how to make a good first impression for my new job? My new internship usually only offers to college graduates who are related to a person already employed, so it’s a big deal for me. My main concern is just that I don’t have as much education as the other interns. I’m pretty good at AutoCAD, but my highschool and work doesn’t use anything else so I don’t know solidworks or inventor well. Also just general knowledge I might be lacking, like higher math skills and engineering principles. I had these same stresses with my first job, and that went okay, but this job and company is 1000x bigger than that.

I've had PF for over 15 years and after the initial 3 years I spent getting it under control, I've managed it quite well with the right footwear and exercises. Until 18 months ago when it hit me with a vengeance. After a year of PT, cortisone shots, etc. I was getting desperate. Nothing was working. Then I did some calendar math. I had started daily Zyrtec around the time I had that massive flair-up. So I talked to my PT and he consulted with a pharmacist friend who said it was rare, but possible it was the Zyrtec. So I stopped it for a month. Everything calmed down. Just in case it was the PT finally paying off, I restarted it. Within 3 days, the PF was back and severe. I tried the same with both Xyzal and Allegra. A month off and then back on. All three caused immediate and nearly uncontrollable PF. My allergist has never heard of this, nor my pharmacist. Only the one my PT consulted with said it was possible. Fortunately, my allergist thought my experiences with the long-acting antihistamines was evidence enough that I can't take them and wrote me a prescription for Singulair (different class of drug). I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this and also, if someone is struggling, suggest this as a possible drug side-effect. (I'm back to my normal self with only twinges of PF that I can easily manage. Yay!)

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

So, a lot of teachers do like me, but some just don't. My physics and second math teacher don't really like me.
The first time I was at school, I came in late due to public transport issues, so it wasn't really my fault. The physics teacher asked us to introduce ourselves etc. I'm a pretty busy type of person. I finished 1 course out of school for a job, I do a lot of sports, etc. So I tell her this and she replies "You're probably the one that doesn't do a lot for school." with a dumb smile on her face. I found this quite humiliating, so I decided to keep my distance in her classes. I'm also rather social so I like to make jokes about the things we learn to my friend that sits next to me. Seems like she doesn't like that. Most of this year my grades have been ok and I've always done what I should do, not more not less. But for some reason, she still seems to not like me, to the point of asking another teacher, which likes me, to talk about it. Which seems a bit childish for a teacher to do. Why didn't she come up to me and ask me personally?
There's also a math teacher, I have 2, this one gives me 2 hours. Those 2 hours are actually unimportant for my grades. They're basically time fillers, everyone had to choose something for those 2 hours. I wanted to do programming, which wasn't an option, so I chose math because nothing else interested me. When I realized those 2 hours amounted to nothing because the level of math was a bit too intense for me and it wouldn't have grades, I decided to use those lessons to unwind or catch-up on my other courses, as I'm busy most of the time Im out of school. I may have unwinded a bit too much in the beginning, I didn't do much else than talk and look at the time. I realised this wasn't efficient. I began doing usefull things like studying etc. But everytime I do, the teachers seems to love humiliating me in front of everyone.
"Oh those look like 'difficult' exercises you have there" when I struggle with something and ask help from my friend or "Yes, it's almost time to go home" when I look at the clock. Last time I really wasn't feeling well and didn't understand what he explained about an exercise, so I decided to read a book as I didn't want to disturb. He immediately said "Be quite *my name* is trying to read." or "You have a lot written on your page huh."
Keep in mind, these 2 hours aren't important for grades and don't affect my year in any way. I just don't understand the constant trashing he does. Every time I do something, even when it's math, he has a negative comment. Like "Are you gonna do it all in your head? You must be so smart." when I was looking at an exercise trying to understand what I should do before writing anything, to save some paper.
If you need more info or anything I will gladly give it.

43 yo, in excellent health (until recently) started to experience some minor peri symptoms a couple years ago (certain alcoholic drinks would equal hot flash of the century 😬 and cycle length started varying a bit). I did bump up my exercise frequency and duration, now generally 1.5-2 hours/day 4-6 days per week (warm up with a 5k jog or 100+ flights on stair climber before moving to weights and/or HIIT), which seems to really help keep the hot flashes at bay.
Anyhow, my cycles used to be 24-28 days, generally, but would stretch out sometimes to 30 days, and then BAM - last three cycles have been 18, 21, and 13 days, with marked increased breast tenderness. Is this something that others have experienced on their perimenopause journey? I have another possibly related, possibly unrelated, issue going on that I keep mentioning this cycle thing to my physicians and I'm not sure they know where to place it.

I gained weight trying to undergo body recomp at the gym.
I'm 5'5 (20F) and after my back surgery I went up to 140lbs. After feeling mostly recovered in Februrary I started to workout again. My workouts consisted of only body weight exercises and running because I wasn't allowed to touch heavy weights unit my 4-5 month mark post surgery. I was also on a caloric deficit of 1400kcals (some days I ate 1800, other days I ate 1200. All while tracking my macros to 90g of protein a day). During this time I lost 8 pounds and my waist sat at a nice 28 inches. I was proud of myself.
These past 6 weeks I transitioned from my body weight exercises to lifting weights at the gym. I go three days a week, doing 5 exercises. Each with 4 sets and reps ranging from 8 to 12 depending if I increased the weight or not. I last at the gym for about 2 hours and I have been skipping cardio to give my ankle a break (I twisted it 6 weeks ago after running 5 miles as a gym warm up. Yikes.) I've also been averaging 1600kcals and 80g of protein. A little below my maintenance and I've gotten worse at tracking protein because my college meals sometimes consist of just sleep. Or sometimes studying and sleep deprivation.
I have been weighing and measuring myself this week and I've been averaging 140lbs again and my waist is back to 31 inches. I mean I was hoping during body recomp I would lose fat (my waist is full of it) and change the shape of my body (get bigger legs) but is a caloric maintenance the worse way to go about it. Was I supposed to stay in a deficit? My goal weight is 120lbs and I'm so sad that I feel like I lost all my progress.

I’ll try to keep this short as I can, I’ve made several posts over the years. I’m just feeling defeated and confused.
I’m currently a 25(M), and had a microdiscectomy on L5-S1 for a 20mm+ herniation (I don’t remember the exact size) in June 2022. Prior to that I was extremely active, I played college water polo up through the December 2021 season. Swimming for cardio is something I’ve done all my life and want to continue, I hate running.
I have a hard time remembering what the pain was like back in February 2022, but it must have been pretty bad since I wasn’t able to exercise (I have a high pain tolerance).
Post surgery was fine, I started walking again, getting back to work and normal daily activities such as running errands. Starting PT after 6 weeks (July 2022) and that was a brutal process I was so stiff and tight. I’ve never been very flexible.
The following 6-7 months, I solely did PT, stretched, and walked every day. Got to where I’d go for 4-5 mile walks at a 16 min pace. In February 2023 I began lap swimming again, this time I didn’t do flip turns, decided I’d just do touch turns to not put my back in a flipping motion. I started very slow and just did about 20 laps/500 yards (which is nothing compared to what I would do in the past).
From February 2023 – June 2023 I just slowly eased into swimming, got back to swimming 2,500+ yards. I also began lifting again, doing light machines and light weights. Did weight training at my PT office to make sure I was doing things correctly.
June 2023 – December 2023 I did well, I was swimming and lifting 4-5x a week. I might have been overdoing it but I felt fine. I’d do 30+ mins of pt warm up and stretches before swimming to make sure I was warm, then would do some lifting after I swam. I was doing some free weight stuff (bad idea) and was swimming fast again. I felt good and I felt like I wanted to start training again to play competitive water polo again.
December 2023 – was doing some light 10lb RDLs that I’d learned at PT. Hadn’t done them in a while and wanted to change it up for my hamstrings. After one set I felt some pain and discomfort in my back, something I hadn’t felt in a while and knew something was wrong. I stopped Immediately.
Went to the Dr. and got another MRI. New MRI shows disc herniation of 6mm at L5-S1 significantly smaller than the original. My surgeon told me it wasn’t surgery worthy and that it wasn’t compressing my nerve, and I don’t have much pain so I agree. He said many people can live with them, and they don’t even know, but I need to listen to my body and modify etc.
January 2024 – Since then I went back to PT, tried to come up with a good game plan for safe forms of exercising. It was hard to accept, but I decided I’d stop trying to push playing competitive water polo again for health reasons. I started slow again, swimming 3 times a week very slow and building up laps every week. I now do light machines to keep myself tone, that’s all I need and am happy with.
March 2024 - I got back to swimming 4x a week at a slower pace, I can maintain good form but still get winded. And I’ve been lifting 4x a week, all somewhat light weight all on machines. My feet are grounded, and my back or chest is against padding for support. Still do PT warm up stuff ahead of time, and stretch and roll out my glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexors after.
April 2024 - I felt pretty good, just general stiffness when I wake up sometimes, and some days I get some achiness in my lower back and glut area but I accept that’s normal.
PT thinks my gluts and hip flexors are weak and my backs compensating for them. I guess I trusted them and agreed to do what thy said. But they started having me do back squats which made me nervous but felt fine. I started doing those several times a week. Then they had me start do incorporate hip trusts for my gluts, either with the barbell on my waist or using a machine at the gym. Then they wanted me to start doing weighted RDLs again and that’s where I drew the line. I was confused how if that’s how I hurt it in December then why would I do it again. They tell me I can do anything as long as I have good form, but I’d rather not risk it. They make it seem like I need to do them to strengthen my muscles and learn to load my spine again.
The surgeon told me no deadlifts and no hip thrusts. He said goblet squats are fine. It just made me not trust PT anymore. No matter what I tell them they tell me it’s normal and say I just need to get stronger. I felt like since doing some of the leg stuff I was getting stiffer and achier, so I wanted to get a second opinion
May 2024 – My dads good friend is a sports medicine professional, and he referred us to a good doctor he knows/went to school with in my area, he studied medicine at UCLA and works with sports and Olympic teams. I went to visit him to get some clarity on what exercises in the gym are safe for me to do and what to stay away from or maybe a new PT that he trusts. I was shocked when I went last week, he looked at my MRI results and said I have the herniation at L5-S1 and another 5mm herniation at L4-L5 that my surgeon didn’t even mention. The new doctor said I was having muscle atrophy from nerve compression and it could be serious and could need another surgery. He put me on a 6-day steroid pack and said if it relieves my symptoms then there would be some hope without needing another surgery. I have a call with him tomorrow to follow up on how I feel.
I’m confused. I don’t have bad symptoms. I’m stiff and my hamstrings are tight, but they loosen up during the day. I don’t really have any radiating pain down the leg. So, I can’t tell if the steroid even helped because there wasn’t much there to begin with. Over the last 6 days it hasn’t been as achy and tight when I get up in the morning, but honestly, just doing my daily activities such as going to work, walking around, etc. I don’t notice it at all. It’s just when I do certain movements like bend down, or twist a certain way, or lean backwards, then I feel some stiffness and pulling in my lower back and glut, but it doesn’t go down my leg it’s all centralized in my lower back. I don’t feel as achy and stiff so that’s good, but my QL and left glut still are a little achy when I think about it.
I’m just confused and frustrated. My surgeon told me in January there was no nerve compression and didn’t mention the second herniation. But then this new doctor makes it seem very severe and now I’m nervous. I’m frustrated that squat, hip thrusts, etc. have maybe been making things worse and I wonder If I need new imaging to see if they’ve gotten worse over the last 5 months. My dad’s friend who referred us to the new doctor also read my MRI report and said he would agree that if I don’t have that bad symptoms that my results wouldn’t suggest I need another surgery.
As I mentioned, up until a week ago I’ve been swimming 2,500 yards and doing some machine lifting 4x a week. And the symptoms aren’t bad, a little tight when I stretch and warm up, such as getting up off the ground after stretching I’m kind of stiff standing up straight again. Once I swim it loosens up and might get a little tight, but overall feels better after.
Just been a long two years since the surgery, and I don’t want another it was the most depressing thing I’ve ever gone through. All I want is to be able to swim some laps for cardio purposes (which I assume is safe) and then do some light machines at the gym to keep myself tone and have some muscle definition. But I want to know what machines are safe/what types of exercises to stay away from.
I know this is a long read. But any thoughts and Insight would be helpful. Thanks

I’ve been doing the Recommended routine for a while and I really like it. I am however considering some modifications, and figured it would be best to ask all the knowledgeable people in this sub for some opinions.
Basically, the idea is to apply a sort of daily undulating periodization to the RR, as outlined below. Warm up and core work would be done as written in the RR and stay the same throughout the week. (Also, I’m not currently doing any heavy hamstring exercises because of an injury.)
The main reasons for doing this would be for variety, and hopefully some added hypertrophic stimulus. I also imagine (perhaps wrongly?) that I would be less injury prone by varying the load and exercises.
I realise that progress in all three modalities would be slower compared to fully committing to one of them, but I’m in no rush so I’m fine with that.
This is what I had in mind:
Day 1, RR Strength, 3 sets, 5-8 reps
Chin ups, weighted Bulgarian split squats, weighted Dips, weighted Inverted row, weighted Pushups, weighted
Day 2, RR Progressions, 3 sets, 5-8 reps
L-sit chin-ups Pistol squat negatives Ring dips Ring tuck front lever rows RTO Pushups
Day 3, RR Hypertrophy (bodyweight only) Set 1: 2 RIR, set 2: 1 RIR, set 3: AMRAP
Chin ups Bulgarian split squats Dips Inverted rows Pushups
So what do you think, is the routine above a viable modification considering my goals?

GPT-4o is an omni model. It accepts any combination of text, audio, and image as input and generates any combination of text, audio, and image as outputs.
There's 100s of applications it will enable. I'll cover a few of them below.

1. Language Learning

Duolingo Stock fell by $65 in the last 5 days. That should tell you the entire story.
Duolingo Stock
For context, Duolingo is a language-learning app. Now GPT-4o can easily translate terms in other languages by just pointing it to the ChatGPT's Camera.
This is massive if you want to travel globally as a nomad. You don't have to know a language now. You can just translate on the fly in any random country.
The accuracy won't be 100% but it would be close enough. And the AI keeps improving.

2. Solving School Problems For Students

I wish I had this in school. Learning could've been more efficient and faster.
Most students fear asking questions because they feel it might be dumb. Now you can ask ChatGPT any dumb question.
It even solves math problems for the Salman Khan's (founder of Khan Academy, not the actor) Kid.

3. Bed Time Stories For Kids

Since ChatGPT can talk now with a humourous and sultry voice, you can use it to tell stories to kids. It can be used in the voice of their parents or grandparents.
You can even use a Soft Toy that does the talking to the kid. Earlier, there used to be toys that did that but it only spoke the same sentence. Now it can do back and forth.
You can make special toys that teach kids letters and alphabets. Target it to 2-3 year olds.
Hat tip to Whyme-__- for the Bed Time idea.

4. Be My Eyes For The Blind

Best damn use-case for the blind. Now using a Phone is a bit too much for this but when smart glasses come, every blind person will have a walking companion.
The future is great for the blind.

5. Be My Friend

Too many people are lonely nowadays thanks to technology. It can be a boon for some but a con for others.
You can build a specialized app that gets you an AI Friend since you can talk to it now and it can talk back, it will be great.
I am 100% sure Therapy AI will be much better now with Audio/Video integration. In future, we will have fully featured Robots like Tesla's Optimus and Figure that will have such functionalities built-in.
I bet this comes in <2 years judging by the pace at which AI and Robotics are accelerating.

6. Comic Books

Now that text can be easily created with ChatGPT, why not create Comic Books easily.
Its a huge creative exercise for comic creators. Webtoons have exploded in popularity and many KDramas are made out of them like Death's Game and Marry My Husband.
This will increase the creativity exponentially.

7. Font Creations

Fonts are expensive. Like really expensive.
Funnily enough ChatGPT can create fonts easily now. Take the most popular fonts, tweak them a bit, and create entire new sets of fonts.
Look at the creations explode on Creative Market. Font directories like Typewolf can now create their own fonts easily as they already have distribution.
Open AI GPT-4o Text to Font

8. Brand Placements

It solved for Brand Placements too.
You can put your brand in places you never imagined without using too much effort.
Open AI GPT-4o Brand Placement

9. Poster Creation for Movies or TV Series

Posters are hard to get right but as you know there are only finite variations.
Open AI GPT-4o Movie Posters
You can fine-tune it on popular movie posters and solve Poster Creation once and for all.
Open AI GPT-4o Poster Creation
What use-cases can you come up with? Give me your best ones.
PS: If you'd like to read the full post with images, you can do so here.
PPS: You can find more AI-related posts here covering AI Girlfriends, AI Photo apps, Startups from 1st-wave of AI that made it big and more.

I (17F) have suffered from eating disorders growing up, I’ve been to therapy and I do my best to maintain a healthy life style. I’ve already lost a lot of weight (by eating right and exercising) and for a long period of time I was satisfied with myself.
My mom (52F) doesn’t believe eating disorders exist, when I told her what I was going through back in the day all she said was “You’re not eating and you’re still gaining weight? You’re doing a bad job then.”
My mom was in the kitchen making a cake. I approached the fridge to warm myself something for lunch while she stood by giving me a dirty look, so I asked her “what’s wrong?” And she said “Nothing.” I pulled my meal out of the microwave and turned to head back into my room to eat but then I heard my mom saying “How many meals can you eat in one day? My whole work crew combined eat less than you.” Both she and my brother (22M) laughed as if that’s the funniest thing anyone had ever said.
At that moment I felt like six months of hard work to heal myself just went down the drain. I felt so angry I just threw the whole plate to the trash and stormed back into my room. They’re still shouting at me from the living room that I’m a drama queen and that my mom is doing me a favour.
I feel childish, it was just a joke after all. I wasted a whole meal and disrespected my mother, but now I can’t even think of eating again. I mentally and physically lost all of my appetite.
AITA?

Long story short I signed up for my first sprint tri on a whim last week and it’s less than a month out. I haven’t been training for this event at all but my normal weekly exercise routine includes the following: Swim 4K-10k yards per week, run 15+ miles, and live in a hilly city where I bike everywhere so averaging about 40+ miles at an absolute minimum there, plus yoga.
I am trying to determine what a realistic time goal is for myself. The event has a 1/3 mile open water swim which I am 100% certain I can finish under 9 min (I competitively swam my whole childhood through Highschool) but beyond that I am bit lost.
The bike is 11 miles. I cycle commute in clogs w/ a 20 pound bag frequently. When I bike the 15 or so miles to my office like this my pace is 14mph in those conditions. What pace should I aim for in training? How much exertion on the day of?
The run is 3.5 miles. I have run several half’s and lots of shorter distances and can race a 5k around 21 flat and run at a very comfy level a 24/25 min 5k. What pace is realistic to go for after the swim and bike?
My overall goal is to finish but I’m also competitive and would love to know what a realistic time goal might be. Obviously I know I will be too tired to PR a run or bike at the end but don’t really know what’s reasonable to expect. Also, any tips to piece all these leg together to race well on the day of would be very appreciated!