What can i write on boyfriends facebook

Hey all! I'm looking for some advice or tips on the best places to look for a stable job in the world of social media management/marketing. I've exhausted every resource I'm aware of. I look daily on LinkedIn, Indeed, Monster, Facebook Groups, plus a bunch of sites such as The Mom project, etc, but I am having no luck. I need to expand my search and find more jobs to apply to. Can anyone help? Where else should I be looking? What else can I do at this point? Thanks so much!

I find that I am best able to process and work through themes I need to work on in myself through art. A common way I do this is by covering up something “ugly” with something “beautiful”- for example, right now I am working on a painting about self love, and self hate- something I struggle with a lot. I like to think that the act of transforming something I want to change with something creative is a spell in itself.
I started by writing on the canvas with a sharpie everything mean I could possibly think about myself. Every insecurity, thing I hate, etc. I’ve painted over it and changed things many times, but I’m finally almost done. I’m not gonna post or describe the whole thing, but the important part is that I have two blob like creatures in the middle who are see through with their organs exposed (symbol for me of vulnerability, turning myself inside out, the two figures being the sides of myself who war with eachother). On the wall next to them, I have painted two frames, but for now they are empty.
I have gone back and forth with what I want to paint inside them, but I think I’ve landed on some kind of animals, flowers, herbs, foods etc that might symbolize self love or one’s inner child. I want them to be a sort of representation of a memory of a past version of myself who wasn’t so self hating.
I’ve thought of a rabbit, a baby chick, even a cat, maybe cinnamon sticks or a narcissus.
Any other ideas? I’m open to any and all kinds of symbolism that any of you can think of that ties in with this!!
Thank you and be well❤️

I perform readings by receiving images and by receiving “impressions”.
Do not send me anything that is identifying, no name tags or house numbers or anything that can be easily found online. If you have posted about your deceased loved one in the past, it’s best to make a throwaway account so you don’t have any doubts. This helps validate the experience.
I have noticed these sessions go better with your active participation. I can do zoom call or Reddit chat, please tell me what dates/times work.
I am offering my services as donation based. My Venmo/PayPal is linked in my profile. You get to decide how much you want to pay for this service. Donating helps me to continue to offer my services and justifies the time spent on them and the mental energy. Time is limited to 30 minutes.
What to expect: I will require one photo of the deceased with no other information. I will send you a message with 2+ paragraphs about the person. You can ask questions afterwards. It should be clear that I am speaking with the correct person based on what I write to you.
If I have multiple reading requests it may take me several days to respond to you. I typically limit myself to 3 readings per night.
I am also able to do a psychic reading if you would like insight on certain parts of your life, please let me know if interested!
Reviews: https://www.reddit.commmary92/s/8mQsKXuGNO

Brag about yourself or talk to me about your hardships. I just want to listen in on your life choices and the successes or failures you’ve encountered. Do you see yourself as prepared for life once you’re out of high school? Do you know what you want to do?…and does your brag sheet look spectacular? or just mediocre. Are you letting standardized tests define you? Have you started writing your essays? Do you have a college list?
Let me know! You can trauma dump or just talk about how great you are, there is no wrong answer.

I (17F) and my boyfriend (17M) have been together for almost a year. A little backstory about me: my mum kicked me out when I was 16, I had been living with a mates grandmother but ended up moving in with my partners sister and sil, he moved in with me. When we found out we were pregnant, I hid the test under my pillow. His neice (18F) and her friend (17F) (which is also his friend. They’d known her for years but they had a falling out and only recently started getting close again.) came into my room to look for something and found the test, they’re friend took a photo and sent it to his family and since they found out, his sil has been saying I should get an abortion. (I don’t have anything against abortions, I just personally won’t get one.)
Their friend Sarah and his niece Matilda (obviously not their real names for privacy reasons.)
I had a family dinner on Friday to celebrate my brothers birthday. One of the messaged me and asked to not bring my partner as he just wanted family there which is fair and even if he didn’t care, my partner wouldn’t have wanted to come anyways as he never wants to come to any of my family events but always wants me ti go to his family events. That night Sarah and Matilda were going bowling and my partner wanted to go with them. I said okay. They left at 5pm and the family dinner started at 6pm so I obviously left after them. I got back around 9pm (I told my family I was pregnant and they were quite rude about it) so I asked him to come back as he’d been gone for 3hrs and he was done bowling. He said no because he still wanted to hang out with them and he said he wanted “me time”. I checked his location and saw he was at a lookout (I had been telling him for months that I wanted to be the first to go to the lookouts with him) and they filmed a TikTok on Sarah’s phone (he never films TikTok’s with me) I obviously was getting mad and told him to get back, instead the went golfing. He came back around 11:30 and I was furious as I was begging him to come back the entire time and I was upset they didn’t want to invite me (they drove past the place we live multiple times) to come and film the TikTok with then it even go golfing. He kept saying he didn’t have to come back so early (mind you, anytime I went out with friends or family I had to be back before 6pm otherwise he’d get pissy and give me the silent treatment.)
About 3 days later, we had an argument and he screamed in my face, I started crying and his sil told him to stop and she took him for a drive. I rang my mum to come get me (we were on good terms as I still wanted to see my little sister.) when I got back he was telling me he was going to sleep in Matilda’s room, I was saying no because it was the night Sarah was also sleeping in there and I didn’t want him to be sleeping in the same bed as another female. They would’ve been sleeping next to each other and in his sleep he likes to cuddle up to the person next to him so I didn’t want him cuddling up to her. He kept saying “I want some me time.” And I said back “you had me time with them on Friday, you don’t always need some me time with them.” And to that he told me that no matter what I said, he wouldn’t be changing his mind. After 3hrs I said “if you do this, I don’t think this can continue.” He said he would still be sleeping in there. Later that night he didn’t end up sleeping in there, he came into our room and slept with me.
The day after, I went to mum mums as my little sister (3F) wanted to have a sleep over. He messages me saying “Okay and I’m gonna go to net ball with Sarah but I will be snapping you every time you snap me I promise please trust me xx” I said no ask I wasn’t comfortable with just him going with her alone. He went anyways and he wasn’t snapping me everytime I snapped him, he’d reply like 5mins after I sent it and I kept getting angry as he was just in the car. They went to the game and while he was there, I told him I don’t want him watching her play and when they get in the car, I said I want him to sit in the back as I wasn’t comfortable with him sitting next to her. He kept saying no and he’s sitting in the front. I kept saying “so you’re really going to sit next to her knowing it’s going to make me uncomfortable.” He said yes and I was mad. Later that night I told him to ring me and he said “I just want some me time.” I said no because he’s been having a lot of “me time.” This week (he’s never said he’s wanted me time before. It’s only been this past week and it’s always been after he hangs out with her.)
So AITA?
(Btw, I’m only a few weeks pregnant but I’m constantly feeling insecure and hating the way my body looks. He also knows I have really bad trust issues as in the past as soon as I’ve trusted a partner with someone they told me not to worry about, I’d get cheated on so I didn’t want to make the same mistake again as I really want to be with him. And he also has to keep telling Sarah about the things happening in our relationship like idk why, I don’t even tell my bsf but I’m asking redit now as Idk if I’m just over thinking or if this is a red flag.)

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

Hi I’m a [20F] and my bf is [21M] and we have talked about going on a trip this summer to Texas. My boyfriend family has invited us to come out there and visit them and while we’re out there we are planning on doing different events like bowling, six flags etc…fun right?? So my bf and I have been planning out where we’re going to go, what we’re going to do and we plan on staying at his family house while we’re out there to save money.
The only bad part about this is my mother. My mom is very religious and holy (i would say she’s very extremely holy) where she feels like “you shouldn’t go on a vacation/trip with your boyfriend unless you guys are “married” and if you do that you are “sinning”. She also says stuff like “You can’t sleep in the same bed with your partner unless you are married” etc…
With this trip I am planning on telling her ONCE me and my bf buy the flight tickets and it’s official. But the problem is I do not know how to approach her about it nor what to say. I know it’s crazy that I have mild anxiety telling her but she’s really crazy religious and her words are always crazy. How should I approach her about this and what should I say?

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
This is the message of a brief video created from NASA satellite imagery.
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

I had tried to leave honest reviews after leaving 49 on Glassdoor, etc. They got taken down because Glassdoor caters to their paying customers image I imagine. It’s hard to write truly detailed reviews, because there are lots of small caveats as part of their corporate policies and the protection of their customer’s image that can get a post taken down.
So, take all that with a grain of salt. Also prior to leaving, I probably wrote 4-5 of the positive reviews because my manager told me to about once every 6 months or so. Therefore, anyone lucky enough to make it to this reddit thread for 49 Financial. Learn that so much out there is so fake, and it is hard to find real, true, honest information these days.
Who knows, with Reddit a public company these days and possibly going after monetary gain, even this may not be safe for long. Heck, Tik Tok might get banned, and a possible reason for that is the spread of free information that wasn’t being censored as much as the government would like. If any of you Tik Tok users reading this remember how you heard a lot about what was happening in the world there first, if not only there, versus the mainstream media.
So, all you young college grads, understand the real world/adult world, it is an interesting place, and there is a game about navigating it. It will take a little bit to learn, and for now, understand that not everything is really as it may seem sometimes. 49 Preys on this naivety, uses good sales tactics through positive review tactics, best place to work ranking tactics, etc. Which best place to work only asks the people still working there, it doesn’t ask people that left, so kind of a flawed system, really a marketing grift to get employers to pay to be able to use for deceptive recruiting practices, and not just 49, across every company anywhere. Sometimes they can be truthful, more often from salary paying companies, and companies with low turnover. However, for companies with zero salary, and high turnover, that information is not going to be very accurate.
49’s turnover is also very high, if you search LinkedIn and filter for “past company” and filter for “49 Financial” you’ll get 350+ and currently employed 200+ and that’s just the ones that list it on linked in. Which, sales is a difficult career, so that’s part of it, but also let that tell you that their “retention” numbers are a total lie, at least what I was told while working there was no where close to reality.

I’m writing this on mobile and I’m also crying so I’m sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes like that. So I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for three months. Everything has been great minus this one issue I’m having.
None of his friends know that he has a girlfriend. He is friends with this one girl (I don’t know her age) and he told her he was “talking to someone” aka me, she responded rather coldly to him basically saying “oh..” (she has a bf btw). I tried not to take it to heart and would even make jokes about it, like when he would be like “well you are my girlfriend after all” I would say something like “oh I thought I was just a girl you were talking to” in a joking manner, but he didn’t like that at all and even hung up on me for saying that
ever since he told me about that it’s kinda hurt me deep down because I boast to my friends about him and how much I care for him.
Tonight we were talking about how many friends we talk to daily, and he mentioned that he talks to two, one guy which he named and then the girl who I just mentioned. He said “I’m not gonna tell you her name because I don’t want you going through her socials” and that just really gave me a weird feeling in my heart. I haven’t been okay since he said that because he knows how I feel about this girl.
I know this post is super scrambled, it’s because I can’t think straight and need to get that off my chest, I really don’t know what to do, I’ve tried talking to him about why he doesn’t tell anyone about me and all I’ve gotten is “I don’t want people in my personal business” or “how am I supposed to explain you’re virtual schooled” so I just gave up on even expressing how I felt.
So I guess I’m gonna ask, what should I do or how should I approach this issue?

Hi guys! As I am halfway through my novel, I decided to attempt a query letter for practice and would love some criticism and advice. This is my first novel so I don’t mind if you need to rip it to pieces! This style of writing definitely doesn’t come naturally to me. Comp ideas for me to check out would be very appreciated too!
(Insert opening paragraph)
Seventeen-year-old Kiya has been running from death for as long as she can remember. Born human in a world of God-blessed people, her half-jackal tribemates see her weaknesses as a death sentence. Kept alive only due to the fierce protection of her adoptive parents, the Chief and Chieftess of her tribe, Kiya will do anything to prove herself as a worthy member. Maybe then, she could live without constantly looking over her shoulder.
With the Coming of the Decennium – a transnational tournament hosted in celebration of the five Gods – Kiya sees her chance for glory and respect. But death isn’t finished with her yet. Her quick wits earn her a position in a team but at a cost, as sixty-eight tribe entrees are murdered by a mysterious, elusive killer during the trials. And later during the Decennium, the same killer seems to be targeting the other Champions.
As the only common link between the murders, Kiya’s position in her team is threatened. Desperate to prove herself innocent, she befriends Siaki Sunlance, a prince and fellow Champion with the strange ability to breathe fire. He believes that a greater force is at play. Their investigation leads them to a disturbing discovery – the revival of a long dead Primordial Goddess and a plot steeped in murder to sabotage the fragile peace between the nations. Worst of all, they discover that Kiya is the key to this plan, as the power of death itself runs through her veins.
Caught between her desire for glory, her fate as a Goddesses pawn and her burgeoning feelings for Prince Siaki, Kiya will have to decide what is more important: the future of her nation or the glory she covets. And if she doesn’t act quickly, death might finally catch up to her.
First 300:
Kiya stood in the mountain pass in the dark hours of the dawn, meticulously planning her own funeral. It would be small, she contemplated, wiping her stinging nose with the back of her hand. After all, not many people would bother mourning the death of a Godless. She imagined her parents standing before a burning pyre, watching her broken body smoulder, clutching each other with tears in their eyes. Despite her best efforts to smother it, anticipatory dread twisted like a dull knife in her gut.
Exhaling slowly, Kiya cast her eyes upward and watched the condensation from her breath curl and dissipate into the chill of the desert morning. The dawn sky was cloudless and coloured an unusually beautiful shade of lilac blue. She knew better than to get used to the weather—as soon as the sun crested the dusty horizon behind her, the heat would drain the life out of everything the light touched. And when it fell in the evening, the bitter cold would kill anything that remained. Shivering, Kiya braced herself as a cold gust of wind howled through the passage. The temperature was just one of many on the list of things that would lead to her eventual and seemingly inevitable death.
The worst part of waiting was the silence. Standing trembling in the narrow pass, Kiya tried her best to peer around the restless lyceans who packed the ravine right to its malevolent black walls. Usually loud and raucous, they shifted on their furred paws and resolutely ignored each other, and she could swear that their apprehension was hanging physically in the air like some heavy blanket of fog.

Shortly after *Final Fantasy VII* hit the gaming world in 1997, Cloud Strife’s howls of grief at the loss of his beloved companion Aerith Gainsborough were echoed by droves and droves of fans. These echoes gathered in swarms, reaching the developers in the form of petition signatures, each begging the makers of the game to allow Aerith’s resurrection. Though these prayers remained unanswered —until now—, there soon came more protests: this time, fans pleaded with the developers to consider making a remake of the original game. Both of these wishes were met with considerable derision, with large chunks of the fandom calling the requests delusional— which is why the Final Fantasy world had to prepare for another meteoric hit when the *Remake* project was finally announced in 2015. With Kitase, Nomura, Toriyama, Nojima, Uematsu and more of the original developers at the helm, along with longtime *FFVII* fan-turned-developer Hamaguchi, the *Remake* trilogy was met with great expectations. These were nevertheless surpassed, though one aspect of the trilogy’s first entry seemed to thoroughly puzzle some and enrage others. Far and wide, the resounding questions were “What are these Whisper things?”, “Why is Cloud having visions unrelated to Nibelheim and Zack?” and “Why and how in the hell did Zack survive?”
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the *Remake* trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the *Remake* trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other *FF* games and real-life events to find out what the *Remake* project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other *FF* games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the *FFVII* compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the *FFVII* world as much as they can.
I. Groundwork: The Remake Timelines Theory
Before I take you on this ride, we must lay down the framework of the *Remake* Timelines Theory. In this section, we’ll be reviewing the general consensus of theorizers within the fandom on timeline/multiverse shenanigans, with some added specifications on my part. Please keep in mind that because the timeline mechanics are kept quite vague by the devs, there might be certain inaccuracies in my iteration of the timelines theory. Thankfully, these potential variances won’t have any effect on the legitimacy of the theory I’ll be presenting to you in this analysis.
I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the *Remake* trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s *Advent Children* prequel novel *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Sephiroth] could sense the Lifestream trying to erode his spirit— the memories of his former experiences, thoughts and emotions. If he allowed himself be taken into the current, the being he once was would soon disseminate and disappear amongst the spirit energy cycling around the planet. [He] thought this unacceptable. The planet was to be his to rule, and to become a part of that system would be nothing short of defeat” (Lifestream Black 1).
Combined with Bugenhagen’s basic lesson on planetology (*FFVII* OG, disk 1, chapter 19), this excerpt provides interesting information on how the Lifestream normally works. Usually, when a life returns to the planet, its individuality (personality, will, consciousness, memories, etc.) is stripped away. The trappings of a soul’s former lifetime are progressively dissolved so that all that is left is the spirit itself, ready to integrate into the Lifestream. This way, soul energy can be “recycled” by the planet to animate new lifeforms in a sort of reincarnation process. The erasure of one’s memories in the Lifestream is necessary for the creation of a brand new life, poised to make its own memories: the slate must be wiped clean, so to speak. Sephiroth’s sheer hatred for and desire to dominate the planet is enough to keep him from undergoing this process.
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of *Advent Children*, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet. It was the vehemence of a strong will, one that would never join with the planet. She knew this consciousness. It was [Sephiroth]. A merciless spirit hidden behind a beauteous wall. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence to the surface of the planet“ (Lifestream White 1).
I. a) iii. The Lifestream Beyond Time
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in *Remake* (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of [the resolution scene](https://youtu.be/ZPkqDB4guW8?si=JR1UTKl5cEFsFvfE&t=319) (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter **text in bold**.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream **for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D**: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the **period highlighted in purple**. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing *FFVII* OG, the player began at **point B**, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the **black**, **arrowed timeline** was drawn, accumulating lived events (or **points**) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at **point B**, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at **point C**.
During the **period highlighted in purple**, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at **point D**, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at **point D**, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the **period highlighted in purple**. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at **point D**, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the **green, double-arrowed line**— including **point A**, before the OG timeline even begins at **point B**. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at **point C** if he is only at **point B**, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the **period highlighted in purple** when he is only at **point A**. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire ***FFVII*** **OG timeline** renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the **timeline** is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after **point D** was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at *FFVII* as the *Remake* trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which *Remake Ultimania* describes better than I ever could:
“According to Red XIII, who gained knowledge through his contact with Aerith, ‘The Whispers are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not’ […]. It would appear that what the Whispers deem to be ‘fate’ is the original story of Final Fantasy VII” (section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
OG’s plot line is the fated timeline, and the Whispers are tasked with its preservation. They prevent alternative paths from even beginning to branch out from the OG timeline, which poses a problem for Sephiroth: he cannot win *FFVII* if his destiny is to lose it.
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of *Rebirth*, “the planet encompasses \[an ever unfolding\] multitude of worlds”, and these“\[new worlds are born\] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the *Remake* timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, *Remake* Barret is OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in *Rebirth*: *Remake* Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in *Remake*:
“[This] is the wall of destiny. If we go through it… if we go beyond it… then all of us will change, too” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Destiny’s Crossroads”).
I. a) vii. Sephiroth’s Plan
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win *FFVII*.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in *Remake* from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in *Remake*’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in *Remake*’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in *Rebirth*’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:
“Sephiroth: My fragmented mother, these errant worlds... All shall be one again.
Aerith: The ‘Reunion’…!”
It seems Sephiroth eventually plans to merge the worlds created by destiny’s defeat in *Remake*’s chapter 18. My guess is he hopes to achieve godhood in part 3 and consolidate all diverting worlds into a single timeline protected by destiny once more— only this time, his victory will replace the ending of OG as the destined outcome. If he succeeds, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers will likely replace the planet’s Whispers as the arbiters of his desired fate.
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of *Remake*, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to *Remake*, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at *FFVII* in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of *Advent Children*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet […]. It was [Sephiroth] […]. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence [on] the surface of the planet” (On a Way to a Smile, Lifestream White 1).
If you’re wondering how Aerith was able to maintain her individuality in the Lifestream like Sephiroth, On a Way to a Smile provides the following explanation:
“[Aerith] was an Ancient, which explained how she was able to maintain her individuality even within the Lifestream. If she so wished she could become part of the planet at any time, but [she] thought it too early for that just yet” (Lifestream White 1).
It is thought that, as a countermeasure to Sephiroth's scheming, post-OG Aerith’s spirit used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inform her past, living self (pre-OG Aerith) of this new threat to the planet. Because the Cetra can commune with spirits, pre-OG Aerith would have been able to receive post-OG Aerith’s message from the Lifestream without a problem. Essentially, pre-OG Aerith received post-OG Aerith’s memories of the fated OG timeline. As a consequence, pre-OG Aerith embarks on the OG timeline with knowledge of the fated future that demands she give her life: the player experiences this version of her in *Remake*.
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much *Remake* Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in *Remake* is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in *Remake* and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in *Remake* can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as *Remake* advances:
“Aerith: Every time the Whispers touch me, a piece of me falls away” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”)
“At any rate, Aerith is perplexed at how, like a flower being scattered, something inside is being taken away by the Whispers and lost to her” (Toriyama in FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”, “Scenario Staff Q&A - Answered by Motomu Toriyama”).
This ambiguity is completely irrelevant to Sephiroth’s situation in *Remake*, as we established in section “I. a) iv.”.
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in *Remake* know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of *Remake* occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the *Remake* Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the *Remake* trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through *Remake* for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the *Remake* Timelines Theory. Key moments in *Remake* Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of *Remake*’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:
“[There’s a] close-up shot of Cloud’s fingertips (they’re tingling). He presses them to his temples (his eyes are burning). A trickle of tears quickly rolls down from the eye hidden behind his hand” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
If you’re clever, you’ll recognize these lines as a reference to the speech Cloud makes in OG following Aerith’s death at the City of the Ancients (“My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!”) (disk 1, chapter 28). In this small moment in chapter 8 of *Remake*, Cloud experiences a flash of the profound grief he is destined to feel upon Aerith’s fated death.
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the *Remake* project, comments on this scene thusly:
“It’s possible these similarities […] cause a memory of the future to be called forth in Cloud” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
The language used by Toriyama here is strange in both the English translation and the Japanese original: the term “memory of the future” makes no sense. One cannot remember things they haven’t already experienced, so why did Toriyama use the word “memory” to describe a "future" event? Couldn’t he have simply said that *Remake* Cloud experiences “visions of the future” rather than “\[memories\]”?
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to *Remake* as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “\[memories of the future\]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:
“Recognizing Aerith’s face causes Cloud to experience [a hallucination]. Sephiroth is suddenly standing between him and Aerith” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Encountering Aerith”).
Sephiroth then taunts Cloud with words that, according to the script notes, “\[live\] inside of Cloud's heart”*:* “You can’t protect anyone. Not even yourself”. Cloud should not recognize Aerith’s face at this point in the OG timeline, nor should he associate it with not being able to protect people.
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (*FFVII Remake Ultimania*, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:
“Cloud: Tifa, you know anything about the Ancients?
Tifa: I’ve heard of them before, but…
Barret walks on ahead, showing little interest in the topic.
Barret: Read a book on planetology and they’re sure to come up. They’re a tribe that cultivated the planet a real long time ago. Used to talk to it. That sort of stuff.
Cloud: That must be why the Turks were after her.
[Psychic] interference starts up.
[Cloud has a] flashback of Sephiroth from five years ago, after learning of his ancestry at Shinra Manor […].
Sephiroth [(in flashback, voice tinged with madness)]: Within my veins flows the blood of the Ancients. I am the rightful heir to this planet!
The flashback ends and Cloud looks lost in thought. The interference starts up once more. Cloud makes agonized sounds. When he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is actually standing before him.
Sephiroth: You failed again— failed to protect [her]*.
Cloud is startled. He shrinks back. Tifa watches what’s happening. The other two can’t see Sephiroth. All they see is Cloud acting frightened.
Sephiroth: But loss will make you strong. […] Isn’t that what you want?
With that, Sephiroth departs.”
*Sephiroth does not use a gendered pronoun here, because the grammatical structure of the original Japanese sentence doesn’t necessitate it. I've seen some debate as to whether the proper translation is “her” (Aerith, who’s just been kidnapped), or “them” (Jessie, Biggs or Wedge, who have seemingly just died). I believe Sephiroth was referring to Aerith for a few reasons. First, Cloud’s hallucinations of Sephiroth always appear as a response to whatever he is perceiving or thinking about at the moment. At this point in the scene, Cloud has been thinking and talking about Aerith for some time, and not about Jessie, Biggs or Wedge. The Sephiroth hallucination must therefore be referring to “her” rather than to “them”. Secondly, Cloud was never tasked with “[protecting]” Avalanche, but he was in fact tasked with “[protecting]” Aerith as her bodyguard back in chapter 8: it makes far more sense for Sephiroth to be referring to Aerith when he speaks about someone Cloud “failed to protect”. Finally, FFVII Remake Ultimania describes this piece of dialogue as “[Sephiroth aiming] these profound words at Cloud, who not only failed to prevent the tragedy in the Sector 7 slums but allowed Aerith to be abducted” (Sephiroth’s profile in section 01 “Character & World”, “Impressive Words”, page 29): the specific mention of Aerith here seals my decision to translate the line with the pronoun “her”.
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in *Remake* that Cloud “\[fails\] to protect \[Aerith\]”, and he hasn’t “\[lost\]” her either— not yet, at least. This fifth MOTF must then be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (*FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus*, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in *Remake* are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of *Remake* is:
“We found an underground Shinra lab where they've done human testing. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I know these people, and I know they're never gonna let Aerith go. She's the last living Ancient on the planet. Think about what that means to Shinra's scientists. Especially to that son of a bitch Hojo. We're all just numbers and meat to him—“ (Remake, chapter 13).
Cloud would’ve gone on too, had Elmyra and Tifa not stopped him.
At this point in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for *Remake*’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, *Remake* Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “\[recognizes\]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, *Remake* Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does *Remake* Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of *Remake* Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other *Remake* characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. *Remake* Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while *Remake* Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD 2018
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

“THE EARTH - A LIVING CREATURE!”
Joseph Burkes MD 2018
I was a contact team coordinator for the CE-5 Initiative in Los Angeles from 1992 to 1998. “She is alive. She is awake and She loves us.” is the message that I received during of a kind of channeling experience that I had back in 1994 at Carlsbad Caverns New Mexico. It was an occurrence that Linda Irwin of the Unseen World radio show called a "contact download.”

I was meditating 600 feet underground. It just an hour before closing time. I sat alone in a small amphitheater cut into the rock face. With no expectations of results, I decided to reach out with my mind and try to contact with what I imagine is Earth Mother. She is called Gaia by many.

Soon two beings appeared in my mind's eye. Dressed in the garb of medieval pilgrims, I was informed that I could not interface with her directly, but through them a link could be established.

What followed was an "awake dream" that was so poignant because it combined striking visual imagery in full color with emotion and thought. The message that I “received” was as follows:
The Earth is like a beautiful woman, alive and awake and conscious of her reproductive power. Her love for all of her children, plants, animals, including us is profound. But humankind is now experienced by her as if we were a kind of pest. The rivers and oceans, her life’s blood, the mountains her skin and the forests her fur, are infested with a blight called man.

So, a cleansing has been called for and this brings her sadness. Brief images of devastation flashed through my mind during the download. Like a forest animal that rubs against a tree or dives into a lake to cleanse her fur, I saw earthquakes smashing cities, and walls of water, tsunamis, hitting the coasts.

But like a mother preparing to give birth, volcanic islands rose from the ocean floor to make new land, new homes for more of her beloved creatures.

I appreciate the work of those who created this brief YouTube video that still gives me pause to remember a strange bittersweet experience from three decades ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlqjz9OEhk0

Additional Remarks:
Back in the 1980s I was part of a movement of scientists and physicians that studied the possible effects of an all-out-nuclear war in which thousands of megatons of TNT equivalent explosives might be detonated over our cities.

Hundreds of millions would be killed immediately and billions more from what is called "Nuclear Winter." That dreaded event would result as the ashes of burned cities blocked out the sun. Our calculations, however, indicated that in the southern hemisphere there would be many survivors. Civilization as we know it would end, but human life most certainly would go on.

We cannot destroy the Earth. Perhaps it is an expression of our limitless pride that makes us think that we can. As suggested by my "contact download" her capacity to generate new life is boundless.

Many contact experiencers, while in communication with what we imagine are extraterrestrials, describe being shown images of terrible environmental destruction. This type of encounter conveys the impression that the "aliens" (my wife Yael calls them "the whatevers" as she is not very interested in these matters) really do care about the fate of our planet.

I suggest that we are getting important wake up calls about the need to become better stewards of this jewel of a planet. Sometimes the message comes from medical doctors like my colleagues in The Nobel Peace Prize winning organization International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Sometimes the warnings come from those "little grey guys with wrap around eyes" that enter our minds with what have been called inconvenient truths.


Comments:
Name deleted: I had a similar contact experience. On 12/12/12, I lay down to meditate, which I always do, before sleep. On this particular night, which was associated with the end of the Mayan Calendar, I immediately began to get a "download" of images. It was as if there was a slide show going on in my mind's eye. Image after image of nuclear holocaust, natural disasters, death and destruction. These images were interspersed with images of mathematical formulas...none of which I recognized consciously. Pages and pages of mathematical formulas. This went on all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. The following night, the same went on as soon as I closed my eyes to meditate. This time I began to telepath questions to whomever or whatever was sending me the downloaded images. The answers I got were: 1. That I was being shown images of past and possible futures, 2. That our earth and our species is in peril if we continue on this path of self-destruction, and 3. I asked about the math and was told..."Don't worry. You now have it and will understand it when you need it." This experience was a profound and "otherworldly" awakening for me, one that led me to begin exploring my relationship both with the earth on a deeper level, and also my connections with the RAHMA mission.

Joseph Burkes Thank you for sharing your personal contact experiences. I too had a download that involved mathematical equations that I couldn't understand other than they had to do with determinants of the contact drama and interactions between human action and a masterplan to open up our planet to peaceful contact with UFO intelligence.

Wake up, poke, test, inject the insulin, lunch poke injections, supper poke injections . Before I go to bed and wake up, short acting injections. I’m only 36 and my body is rotting away and I am alone. Everyone I know is dead. Hundreds….. everyone. It’s like a fucking battle field. Everyone talks shit about me…. When your down you see who your real friends are. Even my family has turned their back. My grandmother who I love just had a stroke last week, my grandfather two heart attacks. My godmother is on life support. My best friends, a while click of hundreds of us are all fucking dead. My friend just blew his head off last month. I want to fucking die I’m just trying to get the courage. All I have is my dogs. That’s all. But I can’t live for them. Please don’t judge me….. I just want to know ideas on what to do to get pumped enough to pull. God please, I’ve called out to you so many times and you never answered. I haven’t had a woman in years. I have no one. I just waste away in my room all day and night. It’s been like this for years. I just lay there. Like I’m already asleep in a box. When I go they’re going to crack my skull open and take out my brain. Take out all my organs. Then drain my blood and fill me up with some kind of solution so I don’t stink like death. I’ll have that nice formaldehyde smell. I used to hate that smell but now it’s like a comfort. I wonder what they will Find when they slice my brain into little pieces. My own mother calls me a fucking waste, a mistake, a fucking fat looser junkie….she posts fucked up videos of my on Facebook. Everyone in my home town has seen them. No one will talk to Me. I want to die but I don’t want to be embalmed. I just want to go In a box and sleep. There’s a reason they bring flowers. Funny thing is, NOBODY WILL GO. That’s what hurts the most. I was close. I remembered waking up not knowing where I was or who I was for about 15 minutes. I couldn’t talk. All I could understand was that I was me…………I remembered when I opened my eyes….if they cut me up it’s ok. I think fent is the best way. I’m going to go tomorrow and free everyone from me. No one seems the struggle, they only see the trouble, not knowing it’s hard to keep going when nobody loves you.

After much consideration, and planning, I am going to return to video production. When I began making videos on a weekly or monthly basis, I had plenty of free time due to the big coof. This was me learning things like scheduling, editing, how to make the microphone work, and I learned plenty through trial and error. There is a dramatic difference between my first videos and my recent ones because of this learning experience. But as I learned about how to make videos, I learned that I was wasting my time with them.
A LOT of time.
Whatever you’re thinking is a time waste for a video is not really it, unless you’ve been there and done that. During that time, I ruined my sleep schedule and would even pass up on small money opportunities, all because I thought my Youtube videos would send me into stardom. Plant a seed, watch it grow, that sort of thing. But, looking at my numbers, it was the exact opposite. Each video coming out, utilizing the keywords and subject matter as a reason to click, was essentially a false sense of activity.
Working on other people’s channels created even more false cases of activity, which created a false sense of justifying why I’m putting labor into something.
Like most artists, I was gaslighting myself into thinking that the time spent into a project was going to translate into a future income from something else. We always see these videos where it seems zero effort was put into it and it goes viral, not realizing that years of failing and group efforts were required to reach those results. And even then, a youtube video existing doesn’t cause a person to instantly gain money from that existence. I have a friend who made a viral video and he didn’t get anything from millions of views, because there was nothing to monetize. I have another friend who made a viral video, trying to recreate the magic, and nothing came of it after a year or two of trying.
Not only is it hard to receive results, but the amount of time it takes to attempt is ridiculous. I didn’t time myself, but if I knew how many hours were sunk into each video, I would probably pull out my balls in anger. The process of each video was a mess of:

1. Writing down a script (takes more than an hour to write an hour of script)
2. Recording the audio (takes more than an hour to record an hour)
3. Editing the audio (takes about double the time of whatever its recorded)
4. Making the thumbnail
5. Making the avatar
6. Collecting images
7. Collecting video clips
8. Making images and clips
9. Editing through clips that are too long
10. Adding sound effects
11. Finding and adding music
12. Waiting for it to render (usually this is where I go to do other things)
13. Rendering it AGAIN through handbrake so it’s a smaller file (quicker than waiting for uploading a multi GB file)
14. Uploading it across youtube, bitchute, and rumble

I don’t want to make this sound like I’m complaining, but this is the bare minimum effort that goes into a youtube video, not mentioning the details of how things are edited or the issues with troubleshooting. A lot of what ate up my time was realizing when things aren’t working way too late, such as how GIFs don’t register well and they slow down a larger project. Or better yet, how a large project slows down to a crawl and you have to render multiple segments separately in order to keep things running smoothly. My files, as organized as I tried to keep them, were unorganized as hell because I would set them up during production instead of before production. Then by the end of it, there would be something wrong that I would have to edit, remove, I forgot something, something vanished between saves, or even corrupted files because I moved something and didn’t realize it was part of something else.
Video editing is utter hell in the beginning, but it gets better after you look after your process and actually organize everything well.
I spent a night the other week changing up all of my files. I put them on my desktop, where I can easily access them, and away from my downloads. This is important because your downloads can be bogged down with anything you download, and eventually it becomes a massive mess of pictures, videos, game patches, or whatever else you’re downloading; all getting in the way of your actual project. You want your files to be files within files, and each file is marked clearly for its purpose and its direction. I had a million songs splayed out in different areas and couldn’t remember where they were, of course when I wanted them, all because they would get trapped in piles of other things I downloaded for later.
My file finding time is now only limited by the slowness of my computer acquiring it.
Audio began as a mess of me going through each line to make sure there was no extra noise, and having to fix anything that was too quiet or not full enough. Turns out I was making my audio way too maximized and wasting a lot of time on stuff that people wouldn’t even recognize as an issue. Now my audio mixing is done through OBS, already set up as a particular compression and volume that will stay in the acceptable range, with noise removal already set up.
My audio recording/editing time is closer to how long it takes to speak.
Developing each chapter card, clipping them together, having to find the font, typing everything out. These, along with getting sound effects working, took up too much time. What I did is make a plan to prepare all of these first, before anything else is added to the video, so that I know how many chapters there are. They don’t take that long to render, because of how short they are, and it takes way less time to do that than to shift gears at the end of the production day. Shifting gears every couple of minutes, that was wasting too much time, which is now changed to doing one specific task each session.
My “switching” time is removed, thus saving time.
Music was added in the beginning, as one of the first things. This was wrong to do, because of how many times I would want a clip where the music continues through it, only to realize that this continuation forced me to keep a massive background of editing history, which slows everything down through production. Adding music as the last bit, and after rendering, will save me minutes for every time I boot up the video editor, which saves hours over time when I’m going to have to go back and forth on video editing. My lifestyle only gives me an hour or two at a time to sit in front of the computer, and so editing will require less wait time for the process to warm up.
My rendering time will increase(as I go to do other things), but my waiting time will decrease.
Through my new process, I am also considering a different view of each video type. Recently, I saw a video about how kindle books are categorized between low, mid, and high content; related to how much effort it takes to make each one. My previous attempts were to, essentially, make high effort content as consistently as possible, which was going to be draining when these were events that came and went. Current news like Lindsay Ellis being stupid or DSP looking like a fool on Sidescrollers are incredibly time sensitive, which is why so many people stream these “news reports” instead of making high effort videos about them. And even if it was a long term type of video, we have to question if it REQUIRES that much effort to begin with.
My plans for the future are to measure how long I take with each session, what I get done, track down percentages, and measure what the longest steps are. Figuring out what’s causing a hold-up is the best way to prevent hold-ups, in the same way city builders (should) keep track of what’s causing traffic jams. Too many traffic jams? Get rid of cars or open more lanes. Keeping track of things is going to take minutes to save hours, which is something I should have practiced more on doing through my practicing year.
Videos are done with marketing in mind, because I don’t plan to make money from them. My “branding” is storytelling, art, art-related lolcows, and I guess that pesky culture war. People begged me to go fully political, but I think political is a step below philosophical, which is where I would rather go. I would rather explain the psychology and aesthetics of media, instead of repeating myself as to how offensive or woke something is. Yes, I make fun of Lindsay for being woke, but I explain why she is and where it comes from, which is something more important than some kind of drama farming that grifters do.
I would rather be a source of information than a pointless attack dog for someone above me, which is why I try to separate myself from the people who do such nonsense. I’m not with these movements, I don’t care to promote people I don’t care about, I’m not going to go easy on people just because “we’re on the same side”. Everyone gets made fun of or nobody gets made fun of, and I’m year of monkey, bitch. This monkey wants bananas and youtube is not going to supply any. But it supplies plenty of vines to swing around from, as I Donkey Kong my way from topic to topic.
Like anything else in life, videos need to be worth my time, meaning their expense needs to be dropped dramatically. Hour long, multi-hour long, these were excruciatingly hard to do. The next goal is to make sure everything is kept around 30min long, unless it’s going to be a bi-yearly 1 hour long video that will be the highlight of the year, which is where full book analysis videos come into play. The scripts for everything else will be written down as articles, with the better of the articles being made into low content videos.
Podcast style will be for low effort, being made weekly.
A new style will be for mid effort, which is where 30min of history or explanation is presented with video clips, being made monthly. Video game clips will be placed around here as well, unless they can be made bi-weekly.
And the classic, me in my room with my ASS computer, will be for the high content, for subjects that take far too long to make on a monthly basis.
This planning is still in the works, it’s an effort to create a strategy and a schedule for everything. The goal would be to place an hour a day per video, creating steps for each video, and using each other as progress reports for the bigger ones. It will be like placing smaller squares into bigger squares until the biggest square is complete, allowing me to visually determine my progress across such a subject. This is also a way for me to appear more productive, because content will be constantly coming out on a clear schedule. Only bad side about it is that this means 3 hours of my day are used for videos, and this won’t be possible for every day until content creation is my main job.
Before I can have this be a thing, it will be a slow, preemptive creation process, with smaller projects being made as my “short stories”, to then determine if I’m ready for a bigger “novel” of a project. And that’s how I have to approach video editing: the same way I would with storytelling. No more determining that length means better, or more time means more results. Now I’m going to obey the market, go for what’s expected of me, and react to feedback. If something doesn’t work, or doesn’t make a dent, I try something else.
I think that’s why people get mad at me, when they see that I am trying something else all the time. This is normal, but I’m told that I’m “an interloper” or “will never win” because I willingly give up on things that don’t work. Sorry, losers, but being unorganized and wasting my life is not worth it. I like money, and I like vaginas. If I wanted to be poor and wasting my life, I would have kept slamming my head against a wall and failing like most of what indie does.
And yes, the OPC reviews will be translated into videos, as well as my own short stories. I began as a crackpasta narrator, after all. I was thinking of putting a lot of radio drama production into my narrations, but I would want to keep them low effort until they start attracting all of the attention from their titles. A lot of people try to narrate their stories and they don’t make a spark anywhere with them. But as time goes on, and I get more videos under my belt, I could easily narrate for others, create a network, and get things going. It’s not that hard to get things working once you know what you’re doing.
The main time waste that we all fall for is chaotic activity and the lack of planning.

Hi, I'm very much a visitonew guy here, and plus I'm pasty af and from Austin suburbs, so I very much have not been immersed in this environment or community before now. Ironically, as a kid I tended to avoid rap altogether bc 1, Texas suburbs, being covertly racist and weird about black art is kinda the norm even for kids (I know I still got problems on that front but I'm really tryna work on myself in that regard) and 2, I grew up in the 2010s and I could not STAND Drake or the folks that came off his wave. It was just boring and lame to me and I figured if those guys were mega popular that must be all there is to it. I was a dumb kid, what can I say, lol. SO, given all that, and I know that people in this fanbase tend to be both old guard hip-hop/rap fans and a healthy dose of my age, I figured asking some questions that've been bugging me about the beef, Kendrick, and hip-hop culture in general that Google isn't helping with. I'm sorry if I say something that ticks anybody off, I am simply trying to educate myself on this. Frankly I wish I could flair this both beef and discussion XD.
If there's a better subreddit to direct this to, please let me know!
Aight so:

1. Why is Drake hiding kids such a big deal? I know this came up with Pusha T awhile back too, so I'm particularly interested in this one. Cause like, we've seen what happens multiple times when kids get put in the limelight too early (hell just look at all those kiddie sitcoms from Nick and Disney Channel), and celebrities not sharing their children's faces and names with the world actually seems kinda responsible.
2. Why is Drake getting plastic surgery such a big deal? Idk maybe it's just cause I'm trans and my gut instinct is always "why do you care about what somebody else is doing with their own body," but I also know dude has a tendency to mock people who aren't conventionally attractive (particularly women) so idk.
3. As a white person whose experience is informed by a middle-class upbringing interacting with a predominantly black, impoverished art form and culture, how do I best avoid bringing harm to the space? Obviously you ask 3 people a question like that and you'll get 45 answers, but that's good, I wanna know.
4. Obviously, I've really been getting into Kendrick since all this (Auntie Diaries made me cry I ain't gonna lie, he sounds just like my mom about my own transness in that song XD), and I'm working my way through his discography. Honestly it seems a lot of people round here talk about him the same way we in the emo/rock scene talk about My Chemical Romance lol. Can y'all recommend some other artists, both old and new, that might work for someone coming outta the emo and metal scenes (also before anybody says it cause I mentioned being queer, yes I love Lil Nas X, M:CMBYN was actually one of the catalysts to my coming out as trans XD)?

(I know I had some other ones but my dumb ass completely forgot as I was writing. I'll ask any others in the comments)

I want to be a poet/painter so terribly and before the advent of the illness I was going very well with it. My paintings were selling, I could compose poems. Now because of the heavy drugs/meds and damage from the drugs I can’t recall, I can’t think I’m almost always blank minded and there’s a complete dearth of emotion. I struggle to write up a single poem. I am totally vacant before the canvas and nothing propels me. I wanted to study mysticism and poetry deeply but I can’t even feel what the mystical is on these drugs, and as I said I can’t think so I can no longer study. There’s that total lack of motivation and interest too on meds. I’m tired of burying every dream I had. I know you all had to as well and I’m interested in how you coped with that.

In January of 2023 my wife, I’ll call her S, left me. A bit of backstory because this is mostly my fault. Me and her moved from Florida to Washington 6 years ago for me to find better work. Her dad, brother and I were all best friends for a while and her dad was my boss that’s how I met her. We started dating in 2016 when I lived in Jacksonville and was attending welding school. When I moved back to my hometown I couldn’t find work and eventually went back to work with the company her dad worked at, I ran my own shop. I hated it I was so depressed I wanted to weld but she didn’t want me to because she’d be alone while I was on the road so I stayed. Her mom is a meth addict and is very violent and her dad is laid back as it gets but an alcoholic non the less. I was living with my parents at the time and one day her mom freaked out and tried to hit her, I stood up and defended her and her mom kicked her out of there house. Me and her lived with my parents ever since. Now that she lived at my parents house I had to basically force her to get a job because all she did was play sims and complain. Especially about me watching game of thrones because of the nudity. when I got home and I thought she needed some purpose. I only bring these thing up to put into perspective the things that I had to forgive and give up to be with her. One day my mom asks us if we’d like to move to Washington in hopes of a better life and she could attend college here. I was thrilled at the idea and she was at that moment too. As the date grew closer and I had already put my two weeks notice in she started getting cold feet. I explained to her that I was miserable at my job and had already given up welding and I was not passing up another opportunity whether she came or not. That ended in a fight but she said she wanted to come in the end. My mom emptied her retirement so we could rent a truck, drive up and have an apartment when we got there (my mom was already here) When got here we both immediately got jobs as a construction labor, making quite good money and her at a drugstore. This is where the problems really began. She started to become very withdrawn. She was not interested in anything sexual, and it began to wear on my confidence. I eventually got a job as an electrician making less money as an apprentice, but more overall when I turned out. Then Covid hit. I got fat and depressed, I got a lot from unemployment. So naturally, I began to drink more. Then I started dabbling in cocaine. Over time this became a problem, I began hiding it doing it on the weekends being out all night sometimes for multiple days. She caught me and I lied. My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I had already suffered with depression before, but this was something different. Her dad got diagnosed with stage bone cancer during this too. It was a rough time for both of us. At one point she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to get a divorce because she wanted to go back home to be with her dad if he died. Even though I understood this crushed me even more. During 2022 I was still somehow I was still somehow still managing to keep it together even with my addiction. She started attending college and work and college at the same time with stressing her out to the point where she was crying so I told her to quit her job and do college full-time. I paid for all of it. Financial burdens began to increase. My mental health dropped even lower. I became increasingly suicidal I thought about death every day. I talked about it every day. She would tell me she’s not a psychiatrist or therapist and that she couldn’t help me. She started hanging out with one of her friends from work and they started hanging out a lot towards the end of 2022. This part is extremely important. I started noticing things on her phone that pointed to her being interested in women like things in her algorithm for TikTok and YouTube. Stuff to do with being lesbian and coming out or bi. I asked her one day if that was something that was going on with her if she was interested in women. She told me no. A month later, she came to me and told me that she thought about it and it was something that she had been thinking about. I told her that it was OK and that it was something that I was willing to let her explore as long as we communicated. Then out of the blue one day again she tells me she didn’t mind if I slept with other women. Looking back this was a red flag at the time. I thought it was OK with it for being with someone else. It turns out I was not. Being a cocaine addict and an alcoholic pretty much plus the thought of her being with someone else started to grind my self-conscious. I became increasingly paranoid that she would leave me. One night fueled on cocaine. I got on her laptop and looked through all of her history all of it back years. And I saw she had to stop obsessing over a guy. Is it OK to have a crush on a guy at the gym while married. I confronted her with this information. And it turned into a huge she said I invaded her privacy which I did and still feel terrible for. And she said it was only a crush and nothing else. Our sex life had all the ground, and I was so hurt that she was attracted to someone else and couldn’t even begin to be attracted to me. One night at the beginning of January, maybe the first week or two I was trying to quit drinking and doing cocaine. I had maybe been a week in. It was the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone. I begged her to stay with me, but she went out with her friend. In retaliation, I suppose I went out with someone a friend of mine and got fucked up. We ended up going back to his place with some girls. There was no sex just making out and such. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I freaked out and got taken home in a cop car. She was at her friends at this point I decided to commit suicide. I overdosed on muscle relaxers with my uncle to tell him bye. My uncle got it out of him that I had overdosed. He called my wife and her and the woman that she was hanging out with came to my house and I was taken to the hospital. I spent a whole week in the hospital. The whole time I was there she just seemed annoyed. She wanted to go back to her friends house and do homework for school. I got out and went back to work. I had to make up some school and the day I was there. I talked to another woman about how I could win her back because she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore. The girls suggested I take her out on a date and tell her how I was feeling and I did. That night while we were eating dinner, she told me that she had been sleeping with that girl the night I tried to commit suicide and other nights. She didn’t tell me she was afraid I would divorce. At first, I remain calm. But as the past, I started to become angry. at home I told her I was leaving to go stay at a friends house because we need to take a break. I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other terrible things. I went completely off the rails she left with that girl to stay at her house. I bought a bunch of cocaine Adderall and alcohol and was determined to just do drugs until I died. I started self harming. I tried to commit suicide through carbon monoxide, overdose, and hanging. I ruined the house. I broke so many things kicked down doors shattered pictures. You should’ve seen it. It was disgusting. She came by to check on me because she was worried. I was going to kill myself. I can’t remember everything that I said to her, but I know I freaked out. I started throwing things and just being an absolute ass. it culminated her calling my parents. She told him everything. I should also note that during this time I was confused as well with everything going on in my head and thought maybe I would be by and gave a guy a blow job he also gave me one as well. It didn’t last long I wasn’t into it, but I told her the very next day. Had about three months before all this happened. She left again and my mom flew back from Florida. As I sobered up, I began to realize how I had acted. I went to work and immediately told my foreman that I needed to go to rehab. I went to rehab and started to feel better about two months after she had told me and I went to rehab and started to feel better. About two months since the split, we met up at a Starbucks to talk about us. She said that she didn’t think she could be with me anymore. After the way I had acted and all the lying with my addiction. I wanted her back so badly. I told her I’m sorry I was never worth it in a bunch of other stuff that was childish. She said I had acted like her mom and that she couldn’t deal with it. I totally did the yelling throwing things saying horrible things to her to put her down. Anyway, I went no contact with her the whole time she was still living with that girl. I relapsed after about four months. I got laid off from my job. In a few Coke, fueled rages on separate occasions, I would call her and beg her back and then yell at her when she didn’t want to. I called her with cancer and told him that she had cheated on me with a girl. They are very conservative and that was a horrible thing for me to do. So now the end of the tale. I’ve been in and out of sobriety now for this year and a half more in sobriety than out. I’m sober now I’m in AA and NA and feeling much better. Her dad died of cancer. She never told me I heard through a friend of a friend which really hurt me because me and him used to be best friends. Although I understand why she would not reach out to me. Neither me or her have filed the paperwork for the divorce. We just never talk. She has me blocked on Facebook and I don’t know her phone number and honestly right now. I don’t even know if I want to go through with the divorce or just keep working on healing. I’m so confused because I still love her but also I don’t want to be with her but I do. I think about her all the time. I don’t want to break no contact with her. We haven’t spoken in over nine months. I don’t want to open up the wounds for her. If anyone has read this far thank you. I’m typing on my phone so if everything seems rushed and a little sporadic, sorry. I would just like some advice on how maybe I could move forward stay sober and heal from all of this.