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Ezeonwha was walking down a long hallway. The dry and plain painted walls and the pure white lighting of the lower levels of the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office helped to frame the dingy realities of those who could only afford these floors. Not even capable of having windows, these were for those who were the cheapest of the cheap or those who mingled with them. He'd passed several Guides on the way in, their claws echoing in the halls as a sign of authority in this lawless land.
Here, mediocrity was king, and he was a loyal servant. He drew his cloak closer about his neck, unwilling to reveal himself to those who weren't already equipped to see through it all. He was famous enough to be an abduction target if he let his guard down. This place was no exception, though Justicar tried to make them such. Too much security on the higher levels and too little on the lower levels. That was the way of things.
Another hallway, this one marked with bullet holes. Two contractors and a Guide were discussing the pricing of the fix project when he turned the corner. Their voices quieted to nothing, the stillness pressing down upon them with the same intensity as the false lighting. Ezeonwha clacked his jaws, giving them a low bow before continuing on his way. He saw the Guide's eyes light up with the sign of his implants getting a reading. It was another impromptu way of tracking via facial recognition, but it was an ancient practice.
Nothing was new about what the Guides did; only how many of them seemed to be on general patrol. Had Justicar hired more of them or actually done full conversions for all of them? Those arm cannons surely weren't cheap or ethical to insert into unwilling participants. And giving a victim a gun they couldn't be disarmed of was a very bad idea, even for Elders. And Justicar was better than most Elders when it came to abject stupidity. He'd likely only been dropped a few hundred times as a child versus the more likely Elder average of a few thousand.
Ezeonwha chuckled at his internal joke, heading deeper underground into the complex. He was going to a certain meeting, and it would be best not to be late. Even if the Guides tracked him, it wouldn't be negative. The group he had been approached by a few days ago wasn't a terror group. He'd looked them up. They dealt in 'freedom and liberation from all chains.'
The Eyes Of Liberty had focused upon Penny as their latest propaganda target and perhaps as a valuable ally in their fight against all tyranny. Though such a flowery message was likely steeped in idealism for the lower ranks, with more pragmatic and likely richer inner circle elites and leaders ensuring the pot would always simmer but never boil or grow cold. That was the way movements such as these managed to skirt the line between inaction and terrorism.
It was a dangerous thing to do. But these were dangerous times. If Penny left, he'd die. Someone with a grudge would kill him. It was a given, and he'd made peace with it now. He needed to get to work, to help others like him and those worse off, with just a small piece of the meager time he had left.
He was in the system as a friend of Penny, so little scrutiny would fall on him as he came and went. He had a new friend, one who was very interested in connecting to Penny.
The offer had come through his communicator, and he'd answered it given its interesting title. After a lengthy discussion about their goals for him and Penny, he'd agreed to at least have a meeting. He didn't tell them that he had a tracker from Phoebe, which would 'be impossible to miss' if things went badly. He knew the value he had, which was why one of the androids was also accompanying him under the guise of being a Sprilnav.
The android was 'walking' on all fours, its mechanical motion entirely silent. It was obscured by a wave of holograms and hard light holograms that would ensure that it wouldn't be considered suspicious beside him. His only guard was a capable one, and Phoebe had all the confidence of an AI who knew that the destruction of her android would only be an inconvenience for her.
Ezeonwha came to an unmarked door with a well-worn door frame. One knock. One pause. Two knocks. Another pause. Four knocks. He waited, and the door swung open. Eight Sprilnav greeted him warily but warmly, their eyes shifting to Phoebe.
The inside of the room was a dull red, coming from a pair of lights in the center of the ceiling that cast dark shadows near the edges. The whole room felt dark and dangerous, and the walls were lined with guns, computers, and several drones. Shelves and drawers were neatly stacked against the wall, as well as five couches and four double beds with ladder access to the top portions.
Bags of food rested atop a trash compactor unit, and the room service button on the inner side of the wall that Ezeonwha could see in the mirror was worn down to the raw metal. No paint jobs here, only grit and business. The room faintly smelled of body odor and assorted foods. Not entirely unpleasant, but also not what he'd expected from a group with sich a flamboyant name. Perhaps they worked in cell-based units. And that was another thing.
Minds were visible in the distance of the mindscape, but the people here were huddled together mentally. They appeared to be haphazard, but Ezeonwha recognized an old army-type defensive formation a mere step from each of their positions. They were more than they appeared. Though based on how their room looked, they probably weren't veterans, just decently trained.
As they walked through the doorway, a scanner activated. One of the Sprilnav, wearing a headset with numbers and letters swirling on the inner side of the visor, called out: "Phoebe android. Commando variant. Risk assessment: Certain Death. Ezeonwha. Carrying two pistols, one hidden in the pack on his left, and the other tucked inside a strap near the lower bottom of his chest."
That made them all pause, sizing each other up. Ezeonwha smiled nervously, failing terribly to break the building tension once again. His nerves started to get to him, but finally, Phoebe spoke. "Well, friends. I, for one, am happy to talk of the business of liberty. Tell us, what do you have in mind for my friend Ezeonwha?"
"It is not about him, AI. It is about the freedom all sentient beings deserve, and which we shall bring to the galaxy no matter if we are alive or dead."
"An honorable goal to strive toward," Phoebe said.
"Thank you. Your words are quite kind for your type."
"I didn't know I had one," Phoebe replied. "But thank you."
Ezeonwha turned his head toward the Sprilnav with all the fancy equipment.
"What is the best way for me and Penny to help in the fight?"
"The best way would be for you to start killing the gang leaders you come across. Barring that, have Penny ignore the graveyards, and continue freeing the slaves as she ought to. The dead have their freedom; the living need her work more."
"I agree with my companion," another of them said. "So far, Penny has done more for the fight for justice than any other on Justicar in generations, so it is a terrible thing to ask more, but we must ask. Even knowing the terrible toll it would have if she loses the Judgment, Sprilnav are at stake."
"People are at stake, you mean," Ezeonwha said. "There is no need to bring species into this."
"There would not be, but it is still a clear factor," another of them said, a female who looked more shifty in her gaze and demeanor. The Eyes of Liberty seemed like one of those groups with too much division.
"Do you disagree with each other often?" Ezeonwha asked innocently.
"Here and there," the tech guy said. "Not often enough to be a problem, and not when what matters is at stake."
"But that is the thing. How can you agree on when something that matters is a stake?"
"Is this a test?"
"Why would it be? Think of it as a genuine concern," Ezeonwha said. "To associate with your group, I have to be certain it will be resilient to change and risks escalating in the future. If the gangs cannot strike at Penny, they will pick the next best targets. Currently, that is me. If I associate with you in a way they can find out, and I assure you they will find out eventually, you all may be at risk as well. And your group's seemingly cell-based design also means large scale mobilization is difficult, ineffective, and risks severe coordination issues which cannot be quickly or safely remedied without changing core security features of it."
"You deduced all of that from context? You are smart, Ezeonwha. And have a good brain in your head. Everlasting knows we need one of those between all of us."
They all shared a laugh.
"I am not as young as I may look," Ezeonwha said. "Penny is not properly learned of the danger that faces us here. I am. The Underground will kill me when this is over. Do you want to die alongside me, all for your beliefs?"
Silence descended again. Ezeonwha kept the pressure on them when one of them stepped forward. "For freedom and liberty? Yes. I would die for that."
"As would I."
"And I."
They all declared the rest in orders that followed the patterns Ezeonwha was noticing. There were variances in their levels of belief and faith in their purpose. Each person had a different level of value difference, which meant that their lives would be worth more or less comparatively.
Cohesion was weaker, too. Not a full defector team, but likely pieces of several. Was that by design from a higher up leader, or was that just circumstance? Another thing to figure out later, that wasn't critical yet, but he would know before he truly went on any missions with them, if he did at all.
He suspected running messages to Penny would be the majority of their tasks. The quality of intelligence the Eyes of Liberty had offered was substantial. Perhaps enough for Penny to turn herself from a major annoyance to the gangs into an actual existential threat. With Justicar's swarming protection of the Fort Court and the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office, there was a limited amount of things that even the gangs could do. And if the rumors were correct, a Progenitor would be partaking in the trial.
"To be clear, if I join up with you, Phoebe would come too."
"Why would we let an AI join us?"
Phoebe smiled. "Without me, you'll die in this fight. You have trained for around 2000 days. You're acceptable combatants, as is Ezeonwha. But you are fighting in a city, and underneath it. You need to know how to keep a low profile. You need to know how to move through a crowd, get in and out. And you need to keep collateral damage to a zero, or the gangs will use you like they have others who had your purpose and were less careful to justify their 'protection' continuing. If you march in there and kill 50 slavers, if you kill a few slaves or a single bystander in the process, your credibility will be smeared. And frankly, with me on your team, you won't get blown up by an IED when you try clearing your first room in a fortress."
"IED?" One of them asked, while the rest digested her statement, going through various levels of offended looks.
"Your translator is too cheap. Improvised explosive device. Here, that can be old engines, reused oil, cracked plastic, frictional fuel bombs, circuit extruders, sodium splash grenades, as well as the more military style attacks they can pack, from small micro rockets all the way up to lower level fission or fusion bombs. Though if you're in a fight with those things involved, you're already dead."
"Why?"
"Because unless you're Elders, or holograms, a nuke will kill you whether you're right next to it or just inside the same shield. They concentrate the thermal pulse, so your bones would be ash before the pain hit your eyes."
"And what protection could you bring against that?"
"Telling you it's there before you start the attack. That is, if you listen to me. I value your lives over that of this android, but also I value Ezeonwha over all of you combined. I will not prevent him from doing this, but I will have you all know the risks involved."
"We are prepared, Phoebe. We have done much of the training you say, though we do not believe the gangs would plant explosive devices in their own fortresses. There is too much risk around that, with betrayals so common. However, the minefields we have scouted are easy to defeat with the right tactics. Perhaps you can give us a briefing on those, too?"
A challenge.
"I can, depending on how long you wish to do this for. But I have the stamina for either hours or weeks, depending on which you choose."
"What of your batteries?"
"They are of sufficient quality," Phoebe assured.
"I hope so."
Their tech guy nodded, more numbers flashing on his visor. Ezeonwha hoped he had a different way of display, like through an implant or something, for the missions in darker areas. The Underground was, by its name, not a place where much natural light was to be found. And the gangs controlled all the power systems in their territory. It was another part of the racket.
"Why aren't you guarding Penny?"
Phoebe's back straightened, a subconscious posture change to make her seem more confident. Ezeonwha caught the tactic for what it was, though without extensive knowledge of bipedal forms, it was less likely the surrounding Sprilnav knew it.
"Penny proved before a trillion eyes she's capable of fighting Elders, Progenitors, and a Dreadnaught Captain. Not to mention her immense power. I can shoot bullets, but she can literally snatch them out of the air and eat them. She has her own way of doing things, and it is a good way."
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Penny landed in the rubble and headed for the Vaquah with a trail of survivors behind her. Many of them, she could recognize the marks of slavery on, with numbers or brands on their skin or just the trauma crouching in their eyes dulled by the pain of a long life in a work camp. Penny went through the wreckage to the shield surrounding the rubble and the defining line between the rest of the city and the destruction. Several news drones flew above her.
More were arriving from various directions. The soft footsteps grew into a constant drumming sound, like a beating heart of doom. Penny marched with them, heading to the spaceport. A large medical operation there quickly rerouted many of its various branches to the most injured freed slaves.
Penny pressed her considerable psychic energy on the entire group, accelerating their healing, slowing bleeding, and generally repairing their bodies and cells from the trauma they'd suffered. But the cloud over their heads did not brighten. The atmosphere remained tense and mournful. Many of them had lost friends, family, and more. She had no right to ask them to feel any different.
She had freed them, that was all. They were not her servants. She was not their ruler.
Several of them came up to her, offering thanks in the small ways they could. Kind words. Attempts at hugs. Even offers of devout prayer and worship, which Penny respectfully declined. She knew, as did most of them, that veneration for her deeds was inevitable. She didn't want to be seen encouraging it at all, since this was a public place where many eyes were upon her.
She knew that it would be misconstrued as a threat if she did. Religions were some of the most major threats entrenched powers could face if not properly co-opted by the state to suit their needs. And here, the 'state' was a military dictatorship billions of years old, ripened with corruption, money, and the immortality of Elders sporting technology beyond any other in the galaxy.
The sky was blue with shields overhead. The Vaquah hung in the distance, its thrusters gently burning to keep it aloft. A trail of shuttles linked the massive ship with several spaceports, including this one. Penny watched the freed Sprilnav get on it one by one, promising themselves to a new life aboard her ship. Technically, they were citizens of the Autonomous Peoples' Stars.
That protection, Penny knew, was why the Vaquah and its innocent inhabitants were still intact. Elders already had hired mercenaries to attack it. They'd failed, thanks to Rimiaha and Penny, but also the defenses of Kashaunta's Grand Fleet when it was in higher orbit. Kashaunta, despite her willingness to use Penny as she would, also had a certain intelligence and empathy. It was highly selective, and only money and power seemed to flip that switch.
But Penny needed the Elder, and Kashaunta only had use for her as an asset. She palmed the new communicator Kashaunta had issued her after the last one's destruction. Kashaunta's hologram appeared. It looked around, noticing the news drones in the air.
"Not here."
"Where?"
"You will know."
In the mindscape, a Sprilnav appeared on Penny's layer. They felt odd to her, almost like the minds of certain humans high up in the hivemind's network. Penny greeted the Sprilnav warmly.
"Hello."
"Queen and Elder Kashaunta requests your presence on her flagship."
"Very well."
In reality, Penny looked around at the crowd. She waited until it dwindled to nothing, and then spoke.
"Displace."
Conceptual energy twisted, and she stood on Kashaunta's flagship, though nearer to the edge than she'd expected. The Elder was waiting for her in an outfit that looked much like pajamas, though they were under a few armor pieces that appeared anything but decorative. Now that Penny noticed it, it was the same sort of armor that Yasihaut had worn to their last encounter, which interfered with conceptual energy. The Sprilnav were highly advanced. She wondered just how far their technology could go. She'd heard mentions of some ships having artificial gravity, and of nanites and programmable matter. But nothing certain.
"Hmm," Kashaunta said, giving Penny a once over. "You have come back. Shall I assume you are still my ally?"
"Nervous, are we?"
"Nervous is what you should be, Penny. The Judgment is coming. Ten days. Indrafabar and Justicar will both be on the court as High Judges. That is not good for us at all. So I figured a bit of prudence was in order. I have thought long and hard about this, and with the great battles of our time so fast approaching, I figure it is time to mend our relationship before the chasm grows any wider."
Kashaunta motioned to a special looking sword sheath on her back. Slowly, she drew a sword. A Soul Blade. Penny began to draw up her armor.
"Oh, I am not wishing for a fight, Penny. I know the damage you could do, even in my sanctum in the sky. Tell me, do you know how Soul Blades are forged?"
"No."
"Good. And tell me, do you know why they draw so much power to swing, even for Elders and beings as capable as us?"
"I have a few theories."
"I am sure you do," Kashaunta said. "But here is the thing. Soul Blades are typically weapons assigned to highly promising Elders, or even Progenitors. Filnatra, undisputed sword master that she is, can wield them as easily as breathing. If I were to swing this blade, there would be no drawback. Why?"
"Because you own that Soul Blade."
"Because this Soul Blade is mine. It is not just something I own. I own around seven or so more Soul Blades, with some weapons nearing their quality lying in my various vaults even now. You did not detect them, because I willed that not to be. I need you to understand this, Penny. You have power. You have might. But you are not invincible. My Soul Blade, if it struck you, would not cutely separate Nilnacrawla or Cardinality from you. Nor would your speeding space entity be able to block this blade with his flesh. If this cut you, it would release unending agony upon you before you exploded in a burst of burnt gore."
Penny sighed. "There is no need to threaten me. Allies do not threaten each other."
"But you do not see me as an ally. You see me as your means to get through the Judgment. You believe I see you as nothing more but a linear singularity maker, and perhaps a passing curiosity I'm backing on a whim. You neglect to imagine that there might be firmer reasons why I back you, and why more Elders are getting drawn into this conflict. You believe I am comfortable with showing you my more pragmatic and ruthless sides because I am comfortable with the fact that you cannot harm me. That you would not dare to do so, when you need my assistance so badly. That I might even be aiming to normalize my 'new' self with you."
"That is hardly my belief alone."
"Is it now."
Kashaunta grinned. There was no warmth in her gaze.
"Nilnacrawla," Kashaunta said. "Cardinality. Exile. Come out and show yourselves. You are being rude as guests."
Exile detached from Penny's head. He grew into the shifting array of fractals and shapes she was more familiar with. What had once grated on her eyes did so no longer. Kashaunta stared at the speeding space entity for ten seconds, then looked back up at Penny.
"He will not work on us. I will cover his form with holograms if he walks through my ship out of courtesy for my workers and crew, if he cannot."
"I am capable, Queen Kashaunta."
"You are quite knowledgable, aren't you?" Kashaunta mused, looking at him hungrily. "Oh, how I wonder what secrets you have in your head. How many of ours do you know?"
"I will not be taken as a hostage," Exile said.
"You will not because I decide not to," Kashaunta said. "Formally, our species are still at war. There is no treaty."
"The Sp'rkial'nova no longer exist."
"Yes, they do," Kashaunta said. "The name was discontinued for use regarding the lesser specimens we created. But I can assure you, Exile, if you wish to go by that name here, that we still do exist. I am a Sp'rkial'nova in the flesh. In the blood. In the mind. In the soul."
"Say what you will, Sprilnav. It changes nothing."
"On that I agree. Though our views on how things are may differ, and yours is wrong, your opinion is not valuable enough to matter."
She turned to Penny. She would have defended Exile, but he gave her a simple shake of his head area.
Nilnacrawla formed out of psychic energy in front of Penny. Cardi did the same beside her. Kashaunta tapped a claw on the ground. Tables and chairs appeared. A chef brought in food that looked passable and a few decent attempts at human cuisine.
"We do not have to eat, though I would expect that all of you at least sit at the table. We will discuss our grievances, and how to solve them before we proceed with the future. We shall first go to the matter of the Alliance. Penny, many in their number wish to establish contact with you. Do you agree to this? If so, I will add their communicator numbers to the translation program I have reserved for your personal use, in case your own device needs another sudden replacement."
"I agree."
"Good. A first step of diplomacy, I would say. Agreement. Now, Nilnacrawla, you look like you have something to say to me. What is it?"
"Free Meridia."
"Meridia was detonated by planet cracker during the 139th Sector 9 Border War. I am sorry more could not be done."
A cold draft of air rushed out of Nilnacrawla's nose. He glared at her. "You let them die."
"I did not. A Grand Fleet was defending that star system, and three came to lay siege. I am many things. A tactician, a queen, an Elder. But I am not a god. I cannot perform miracles. I evacuated 30 billion people from that world and its surrounding stations before the planet crackers hit it. 4 trillion more souls died in that blast. The best I can do is to offer an apology."
"That will never be enough for what you did. If you had never established your nation, they would still be alive."
"They would be slaves. Chattel slaves, not that cute little 'wage slavery' concept privileged people throw around. Perhaps I should remind you just how much darker that reality would have been for your female descendents, specifically. I am a brutal warlord, a dictator with an iron fist. But my claws do not squeeze nearly as tightly as I could. Metrics say that I could extract at least 370% more profit from my people if I simply enslaved them. But despite the shock this may bring to you all, I do have principles. The Autonomous Peoples' Stars are my people. My nation. My empire, if you think I'm imperialist. But I protect them as best I can."
Nilnacrawla's cold anger didn't lessen. Penny placed a calming hand on his front left thigh. He blinked. He let out a long, pained sigh. And he bowed his head to her. Not to Kashaunta, but to Penny.
"There is no need to be cruel."
"My language was accurate, Penny. He is a strong Elder. Everlasting knows he's stronger than most of these fools. Nilnacrawla was and is a hero of the Source war. I respect him enough not to mince words, or to give platitudes. Coddling is for babies. Nilnacrawla is far more mature."
Kashaunta turned to Cardi. "You have been remarkably silent in this, concept."
"I have."
"A wonderfully succinct statement. Perhaps you can shorten it further. But nevertheless, you and I will be working together with Penny much more in the near future. Rest assured, if you refuse to become more independent, you will be nothing more than a crutch for her to rely on before leaving her to fall when you are ripped away."
"When, Elder? I would like to think your protection is sufficient."
"I am sure the truth is quite the opposite, dear. I will now get to the point. Penny needs to move faster, and needs to break out of her shell. She needs to be pushed to do more. She has signed a binding treaty, which shows she is capable of more than barbarian aliens, as some Elders would call her. You, Cardinality, will help her be a high achiever. To do this, you need to learn more about your own history.
That is the theme of the year, after all. History. My history, Penny's history, Sprilnav history, and even Gaia's history, it would seem."
"Gaia? What do they have to do with all of this?" Penny asked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that."
"Excuse me? You don't get to decide that, Kashaunta. You will tell me. I refuse to be coddled, like you say. I demand the respect I am owed."
"You forget yourself, Penny."
"I remember myself, actually. I am all I need to be. I can become all I need if I must. You can hold your backing against me all you want, but you won't withdraw it. As you said, more binds you and I than mere money and ideology."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then I've doomed my species and my nation to war, and this planet to the full power of my wrath."
"Wrath, Penny. Wrath. The Sprilnav have many words for anger, rage, hatred. There is the desire for vengeance, in varying degrees. There is that for justice, which does differ. And that for belonging. I know you believe you are standing up to me as a way to assert your own authority in this relationship of ours. You believe I see you as inferior, and will pull back my help when it is profitable for me. I will not offer you the consequences of what your words could mean.
You already know them, and that argument is as stale as your view on us Elders. I will say this once, Penny. You are the Champion of Humanity. The apex predator of your planet, the only one mostly in charge of an Alliance that does more than merely dream of overthrowing us. It is easy for me to say you are not a threat, though I do not ignore the threat you and your nation are trying to become. Gaia will be a part of your movement, but even my information is not entirely complete. I will not mislead you by claiming I know Gaia's link to this, just that there likely is one.
And I am not unreasonably petty. I am willing to put all our animosity behind us and start anew. Even if you are not willing to do the same, I am willing to make this work for us. You have more people to care for than just the Alliance, now. Do not forget them."
"A lot of words that mean nothing."
"Because you heard, but did not listen. Perhaps it will be easier this way, Penny. I want you to win."
"Explain."
"You wish to overthrow the current Sprilnav led order of the galaxy. Your path to that will likely be through mass slave revolt. A viable strategy that I could spread far beyond just this planet. And I actually agree with you. This Judgment, this utter insanity around the Alliance and your species has shown me the truth. The Elders as a class and a species cannot be trusted to rule any longer. We need new leaders. Better leaders."
"And yourself?"
"As the hypocrite that I am, and the power-hungry ruler of the Sprilnav, I would obviously exclude myself from that number. Let's be realistic. The Sprilnav will never accept a non-Elder ruler. If you wish to see what our insurgencies would be like, imagine the 2090s Struggles of Asia. Expand that to billions of planets, large and small. Countless ships and space stations. We have more collective ships than you have people. And as your military planners know, there is no such thing as an unarmed ship. Without us, without me, your plans are stillborn. Your galactic Alliance or whatever you make will fall to pieces without proper counseling. In essence, my offer to you, and you alone, is this. The galaxy, for the Sprilnav."
"Who backs your offer, with the power to give it?"
Progenitors Lecalicus and Nova appeared in the room.
"I back Kashaunta," Lecalicus wheezed.
"I observe her offer, and wish it a proper outcome," Nova said.
"Thank you, esteemed Progenitors," Kashaunta said, standing just to bow to them. Penny stared at Nova, balling her fists.
"There will be time for battle later," he said. "But not now. Hear out her request. She does not make it lightly."
The Progenitors disappeared.
"If I accept your offer, it will be on a written record."
"No. It will not be, because if that record is written, my nation will be facing war on all sides. A better idea would be for us to keep this under wraps."
"Perfect for betrayal," Nilnacrawla muttered.
"It would be, yes. But consider the second part of this situation, Nilncrawla. If word of this galactic offer, not just the Pact, were to get out, which is why two Progenitors who know the price of interference were called here, it would mean the deaths of Penny and all her kind. Or do you forget what rapidly approaches us?"
Nilnacrawla frowned. "I did. I apologize, Penny."
Kashaunta spoke up again.
"Penny. You believe I will betray you. So I make an offer of collateral. An offer so unbelievably sacred for us Elders that many would recoil at the mere thought of it. Now that you have signed a backed treaty, you are fully qualified."
Kashaunta grabbed her Soul Blade and presented it to Penny.
"What does this mean?"
"Nilnacrawla, tell her," Kashaunta said. "She will trust your mouth more than mine."
"Bonded Soul Blades are priceless artifacts," Nilnacrawla said. "To offer one to another is the ultimate gesture of trust and respect among many martial Sprilnav cultures. It can also allow for a mind bridge, a soul pact, or a proposal for marriage between two great houses, martial families, or Elders of great wealth and power. To offer this to a human... to anyone... is an ultimate sign of backing, and one of trust.
It is a sacrosanct honor, the absolute agreement of speaking truth and respect. The words I can use in any human language are insufficient to describe the weight of this honor. This gesture is one of absolute truth. Family lines with hatred going back millions of years would never dare to violate this honor."
"Only one Elder in history did so, one who once led a group known as the Stannic Resistance. He does so no longer. Penny Balica, Champion of Humanity... if there is nothing else I can give you to prove that I do really back you, there is this."
"...Just how low are my chances in the Judgment for you to resort to this?" Penny asked.
"They are not zero, but your battle with be incredibly difficult even with this boon of mine. The future of the galaxy, I now realize, hinges on the outcome of this. If we do not have enough trust, they will sniff it out, and we will fail."
So she had no choice. But as Nilncrawla continued to explain in her mind, Kashaunta was getting the worse side of the deal. Which meant she was throwing her backing behind Penny for real, beyond all reproach and retraction. Kashaunta, the most powerful Elder in the galaxy.
"And if I reject this gift, or your reasons for it?"
"Circumstances would demand that I kill you and then myself using this blade as a way to cut apart the dishonor, before my remains are dumped into a black hole to be forgotten forever. I would not do this."
"A dark and archaic custom," Penny said. She would have said more, but she looked at Nilnacrawla's face. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her five words had shaken him more than anything she'd ever said to him before.
"You do not understand," Nilnacrawla said. "This is not something to joke or lie about. With a Soul Blade Pact in play, all else must cease. Right now, there is you, and there is her. Accept or decline. The choice, your only choice, is yours."
"How will this look to the Elders in the court? To the Sprilnav, and the people who back me?"
She could see how it would be a boon and a curse.
"You, and I," Kashaunta said. "The whole of the universe between us right now is you and I. No others exist until this one act is done. There will be trust or there will be death. No in between. No middle ground. The nature of this bond will be a Pact of Blades."
Conceptual energy swirled between them. Penny's natural translation, as part of the hivemind, failed for the first time ever. Her communicator likewise did not translate the words Kashaunta spoke.
"Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Sun. Homo Sapiens."
The air grew thick with tension. It was not just emotional, either. Psychic and conceptual energy gathered. The mindscape started to distort as more and more eyes began to view Kashaunta and Penny. But all of them were Sprilnav eyes. All of them were Progenitors. Nova's appeared brightest and largest, nearly six times the size of the next largest pair. They stared at her, sending psychic and conceptual energy down upon her in waves that forced her and Kashaunta to kneel to the ground.
"I apologize for my earlier words," Penny said. "I should not have denigrated this."
Penny stood for an hour, deeply contemplating the Pact. If it was as Nilnacrawla was describing to her, it was a promise that Kashaunta would not break. If she was offering it at all, especially to Penny, it meant she had a level of trust in Penny's capability far above what Penny had previously thought. Apparently, there were even higher agreements than this that were possible, with this Pact being the lowest level of bond and considered unbreakable with the enforcement of consequences coming from the Progenitors themselves.
She thought of her place in Justicar and the wider universe. Hours passed like water. And then, by the end of it, after nearly 19 hours, Penny finally had decided. She gave a short nod to Kashaunta, who had been kneeling to Nova all this time.
Kashaunta gestured at the sword. "Tol, nopa shikai."
Nilnacrawla fed her a few suggestions on what she would need to say.
"I come to this Pact seeking peace, justice, and hope," Penny said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery."
Nilnacrawla translated Kashaunta's next words to her.
"I come to this seeking trust, understanding, respect, and peace," Kashaunta said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery. I make this Pact before the gods, those who equal them, and those who surpass them. I bind them to an oath of silence regarding this event, until I directly instruct them otherwise, in a state of a sound mind, body, and soul. Here, we shall step into a future that needs both of us, casting aside that which is unimportant to focus on the ultimate goals we have. I offer my Blade to Penny Balica, of species Homo Sapiens. In this way, we forge a new future, and walk a new path. I accept the Pact."
"I accept the Pact."
Nova and a hundred Progenitors descended. Nova grew larger, and Kashaunta knelt to him. Penny remained standing. His sharp teeth glittered in the light. He pressed his claws to Penny's chest, and to Kashaunta's chest.
"The Pact of Blades is made before the Progenitors. We agree to your vow of silence. The penalty of breaking it will be dismemberment and disposal into a black hole. Penny Balica, Engineer Kashaunta. To break this Pact without mutual agreement is to call down our collective wrath upon yourselves. You both have agreed, and are of sound mind, body, and soul. The Pact is forged. By sword, by word, by action. I, Nova, Everlasting, Lord of the Progenitors, King of all Sp'rkial'nova, Heir to the Mantle of Power, Heir to Narvravarana, Progenitor, Elder, and Sprilnav, declare the deed done, etched in time, space, and Reality."
They winked out of existence one by one, leaving Penny and Kashaunta alone, to ponder the future. Penny's thoughts turned to the Judgment, and her confidence she could win it began to waver. How much worse was this Judgment going to be than before?
Penny stared at Kashaunta's Soul Blade. With careful fingers, she took it. Kashaunta sat up, satisfied.
"Now we can begin. I shall compile all the news about you I can find, and we shall see how to address the questions the High Judges will ask. Now that you trust me, I cannot betray you."

I'm very slowly getting into Nietzsche through secondary sources. I started with a quick read of his SEP page and was extremely fascinated by his critique of altruism (which isn't necessarily a condemnation if I'm understanding correctly) and positions like these:
"Indeed, the case is even worse than that, according to Nietzsche. Not only do standard moral commitments lack a foundation we thought they had, but stripped of their veneer of unquestionable authority, they prove to have been not just baseless but positively harmful. Unfortunately, the moralization of our lives has insidiously attached itself to genuine psychological needs—some basic to our condition, others cultivated by the conditions of life under morality—so its corrosive effects cannot simply be removed without further psychological damage. Still worse, the damaging side of morality has implanted itself within us in the form of a genuine self-understanding, making it hard for us to imagine ourselves living any other way. Thus, Nietzsche argues, we are faced with a difficult, long term restoration project in which the most cherished aspects of our way of life must be ruthlessly investigated, dismantled, and then reconstructed in healthier form—all while we continue somehow to sail the ship of our common ethical life on the high seas."
I'm currently taking a Social Psychology course and plan to read Bernard Reginster's The Affirmation of Life and Nietzsche: The Key Concepts (Routledge Key Guides) before taking a class on him in the fall but I'm wondering if any professional philosophers have anything to say on my question in the title? I acknowledge the question is quite broad.
​
Thanks for your time

18w1d and had my anatomy scan and they think baby might have a cleft palate. Just waiting on the call from the MFM to schedule an appointment for a more in depth ultrasound in a few weeks. Baby was also measuring small so they want her to grow more first. This is baby #2 for us, #1 does not have any birth defects or health issues. Does insurance usually cover surgeries related to cleft palate repairs? Do you have any tips on what to expect when baby is first born regarding feeding? From what I've read some babies can take pacifiers and some cant/don't? Anything else I should expect? I saw in another post that cleft babies can have more ear infections? Basically tell me all the things please! Thanks in advance!

Link if it's hard to read in this post: https://jordankligman.substack.com/p/ontario-intentionally-denying-health
Who Is Denying Health Care?
I’d like to tell you this is an outlier, but across the board patients are getting denied access to health care. How do I know? It’s happening to me.
Family Doctors Are Denying Health Care
What do family doctors do? They don’t do physicals anymore. Their jobs is essentially order referrals and requisitions. They don’t even do that well. Roughly half of my referrals don’t go through. I had a previous family doctor use my entire appointment to lecture me on getting the COVID vaccine. I had already had my first dose and was scheduled to get my second shot at the time. Keep in mind I had that doctor’s appointment because I have serious physical pain. The doctor wasn’t interested in treating me. He was interested in pushing a specific ideology. I’ve had the Pfizer COVID vaccine in total five times. I was overdue for my tetanus vaccine. I had to ask during three different appointments before I was granted that vaccine. This is absurd.
What’s more absurd is I have had multiple family doctors reject me as a patient. Health Care Connect, a government funded service, claimed these doctors were accepting new patients but they weren’t. I found one doctor on my own that was accepting new patients. The receptionist made me bring a printout out of my prescriptions as if I was a drug addict. After waiting a month for my appointment to meet this doctor he refused to take me as a patient. Claimed he couldn’t help me. He didn’t even ask for the prescription printouts. He couldn’t give me an answer as to why he couldn’t help me. So I asked him to put in it in writing he was declining me as a patient. He declined to do so and said he wasn’t obligated to do so.
Walk-in Doctors Are Denying Health Care
I requested imaging to try to find the source of my pain from a walk-in doctor. They claim they sent the requisition. A year later and the hospital the requisition was supposedly sent to had no record of it. So I went back to the walk-in clinic to try to get them to resend the referral. Instead of seeing a doctor this time they gave me a physicians assistant. The PA refused to resend my imaging referral. Told me to go to the emergency room to get my imaging. I thought the entire point of a walk-in clinic was to keep people out of the ER? I’ve since been to the ER. No they won’t just giving you imaging if you ask even if you are prepared to wait 5+ hours. I demanded a copy of the requisition for the imaging from the walk-in clinic they claim they initially sent. I scanned it in and emailed to the hospital.
Hospitals Are Denying Health Care
Even with the requisition dated a year earlier they would not honour the requisition. It gets worse. Multiple hospitals have denied me health care. An ER doctor looked at my medical records and essentially denied me health care. He basically inferred since other doctors couldn’t find the source of my pain he wasn’t going to waste his time thinking about it. He ordered bloodwork to confirm I wasn’t actively dying and then kicked me out. I signed up for a virtual emergency call with another hospital as recommended to me by telehealth. That hospital nurse during the call denied me care because she said they don’t do second opinions. So I said fine get me an appointment with any doctor of your choosing. She then claimed where I lived wasn’t in the catchment zone for that hospital. I’ve been to this hospital many times. I have an outstanding referral that has gone unanswered from this hospital. Changing the reason mid conversation as to why I am being denied health care seems like a lot of nonsense. A finally my favourite hospital. That’s sarcasm because this third hospital scanned the wrong part of my body and then lied about it. Not only did they bully my family doctor into taking the blame for this error, but they had all my personal information wrong. This hospital thought I was in a wheelchair. They also had the wrong phone number for me. It was a area code for a city not even in the Greater Toronto Area. All I wanted from this hospital was an apology and for them to fix their mistake. The PR person from this hospital told me they were taking steps to ensure this would never happen again. I asked what steps were taking place. I was not given an coherent answer. They gave me another scan, but I have no idea if that was even done correctly. I tried to confirm with the technician what part of my body they were scanning. Her response was that she is doing the requisition called for. So no steps to ensure correct scans were being done. The extra radiation from another CT scan probably isn’t ideal but what I am more concerned about is the dye. My scan didn’t call for dye, but at some point the hospital changed the scan and decided it was a good idea to inject me with dye for a scan I didn’t need my I remind you.
The Government Is Denying Health Care
I have tried to get in touch with the Minister of Health for Ontario, Sylvia Jones. All I get back is a copy paste form letter that doesn’t relate to my situation. I have spoken to my local MPP. She was defending the doctors that denied me care. Then claimed the government is hiring more family doctors. Not sure how that related to my situation, but okay… Then she asked me if I was open to private health care. My response was I was open on a contingency basis, but I don’t think she understood me. If a private doctor could can diagnosis me I’ll pay whatever their fee is. If they phone it in and cannot figure anything out I don’t agree with private health care. The problem is private health is rampant in Ontario. So much so it’s a two-tier system. From my understanding private health care was not currently legal in Ontario, but there are loopholes. These private doctors sell yearly subscriptions ranging from $3000 to $10,000/year. I’ve heard speculation that some of these private clinics may even charge as much as $20,000 but I have been unable to verify that claim. It’s kind of hard when these clinics don’t post their rates online and operate in the shadows.
https://jordankligman.substack.com/p/ontario-intentionally-denying-health

hi this might be a long shot but I read this manga like 12ish years ago and I just want to remember what the title was. This manga probably came out in the 90s/2000s. There was a main female protagonist who was a high school student and a demon, a priest and 3 other men who basically protected hewere her friends. I also remember another female antagonist who was a demon?? She was like a pretty doll like looking demon. I also remember the manga book calling out it was for 16+. Okay idk if anyone knows but if you do lmk!!!

I don’t know what to think, guys. I’m 12w3d and I don’t think I’ve been able to relax at any point. Our NIPT came back all low risk, though the only thing I noticed is that some people’s NIPT include digeorges syndrome and ours did not. We came back low risk for T21, T13, T18, monosomy x & triploidy. Fetal fraction was 3.9%
We were super thrilled about this and that we are having a boy! However, our NT U/S gave us an NT measurement of 4.07mm. We are in the US and our MFM dr said their range to feel safe was under 3mm. We did a cvs test the same day as the NT scan.
That night, we got the results in for the Horizon genetic carrier screen test. I got negative on all 274 illnesses tested for.
I’m going nuts. Basically losing my mind. I can’t rest.
I’ve been forever just reading whatever I can and all the googling is ruining me. I know I shouldn’t do these things but I need understanding and solace. I’m so scared now!
I’ve read of doctors looking for under 3.6mm even, or some using 2.5!
I’ve spent the last two days binging Battlestar Galactica and knitting a baby blanket as my self care and it’s made me feel selfish. Like how dare I have a couple nice days to myself when I could potentially have a sick baby.
There is no winning.
Has anyone else had similar results to mine? How did it go for you?

Hi I’m just getting into training and I see a lot of things about zone 2 training which sounds cool. I haven’t done any tests but I’m just doing some basic things at the gym.
Anyway I was running attempting to do some zone 2 training and running a 13 minute mile. The treadmill showed my heart rate at around 170 which from what I’ve gleaned is most likely a zone 3 workout.
I felt pretty good and ran for an hour and 10 minutes. I’ve read that a good barometer of zone 2 is that you could have a healthy conversation while running and I definitely could’ve held a conversation.
So just curious if I’m looking too much into my heart rate or if I shouldn’t trust the meter on the treadmill at the gym or maybe running a 13 minute mile puts more strain on my heart rate than I realize?
Thanks for any insight!

Changing my Smart Fortwo 2014 for a Dolphin Mini 🤩 (Location: Mexico 🇲🇽)
Just today I received the awful news that my Smart Fortwo MHD 2014 needs a repairment (once again, almost visiting the mechanic each 3 months) but this time was the last one for me since I think it served me will these past 10 years.
It will be an unexpected investment our of my pocket 😓 but I’ll use the money of my old Smart for the down payment.
Curious to know your experiences with this car. So far, every single review and opinion I see and read about this car gets me more excited 🤩 than stressed for this investment haha what are your thoughts?
What have you liked or disliked? Im still deciding if buying the most equipped version with the best km range or just the basic one.
Edit: added location

Hi there, I’m actively losing my mind over here and am desperate for help 😅
I keep having this reoccurring issue where I’ll be editing normally, things will be running just fine, then all of a sudden FCP just totally locks up and becomes unresponsive to any clicks, commands, any efforts to quit (outside of a force quit via a different window), nor will the top or bottom menu even appear. But it’s not a “crash”—the program will stay open and active indefinitely. Nor is it a traditional freeze—there is no beach ball and the program does not show “unresponsive”, nor does anything in the activity monitor look weird.
I have no rhyme or reason as to why or when it’ll happen, but more often than not it will randomly happen right as I’m pressing space to play after making basic edits. Most times it happens right after the video starts playing and the video will literally play as normal and KEEP playing as if nothing is wrong (play head will move and everything) despite the fact that, by all appearances, the program is totally locked up and not responding to anything I do. It’ll play and play (audio and all) until I command over to another window to force quit—no error messages, no crash, no beach ball, no “not responsive” in activity monitor / application menu, nothing. And only force quitting will close it.
It used to happen every now and then but recently, for whatever reason, it’s happening literally every 10-20 minutes, sometimes sooner, and I’m avoiding finishing projects like the plague bc of the frustration. It happened in my last project too, just not this much.
I’ve done everything I know how. I’ve deleted preferences (which has never actually solved anything for me in general lol). I’ve restarted. I’ve updated plugins. I’ve removed them and put them back in. I’ve swapped the project folder location to and from my internal and external storage (yes, it’s formatted correctly, and yes I have lots of space on both hard drives) and it happens the same regardless. I even downloaded the last update to MacOS just as a Hail Mary but it continued. I’ve not changed anything I can think of that would make this happen so often all of a sudden nor have I started using any new plugins recently. No, I don’t use Chrome, nor CleanMyMac.
I used ProRes proxy media in my last project thinking it would help since my camera footage is 4k h.265 (which apparently FCP doesn’t love) but it really didn’t change anything. This current project actually runs extremely smoothly so far even without proxy and my CPU/RAM usage are laughably small so it’s clearly not a matter of the computer working too hard. In fact, funnily enough, the project runs very smoothly set to “better quality” but somehow performs noticeably WORSE when “better performance” is selected which 😂😅 and regardless of which is used, this locking up issue still happens.
What could be causing this? And has anyone else experienced this? I can’t find anyone else online talking about it anywhere so I’m afraid I’m uniquely cursed 😅
I really appreciate anyone who reads this and gives me any insight in any way! 🙏🏻
Computer Details: 2021 MacBook Pro 16” M1 Max Chip 32GB of RAM 720GB of storage free out of 1TB macOS Sonoma 14.4.1 (happened on 14.3 too) Latest FCPX Version (10.7.1)

You don't have to read. Thanks if you do though.
For starters, I'm not looking for any reassurance or guidance from anyone. It's all noise in my head that gets filtered out at this point. Nothing anyone ever says actually turns out to be true when I partly try to share my problems. I truly do believe I'm useless. I've had no real purpose ever since I was born, and I don't have any purpose now. Sometimes people say to "be patient", but I can't stand that. Thousands upon millions my age have achieved and done so much, and I'm not just saying that because I'm comparing myself to them. I know there isn't any point in that. I compare myself to my myself yesterday - that much I've learned - but there hasn't been any significant change in me no matter how I think or what I do. I can't escape the hole I've dug for myself. I have a single true online friend, whom I consider better family than my blood family. We chat regularly, we're both artists, and we're even writing a comic together as a passion project. We've shared a lot of private stuff between us, and I genuinely love that I get to know this person. Before I can let them down, too, that is. Other than them, I had a good circle of real life friends. Before they all turned to drugs, alcohol, or just became narcissistic assholes and I've had to cut myself from them. I've tried pulling every single one out of those paths and hold as tight as possible, because I know what it's like to be given up on, and I have failed each and every single time, only giving up when my mental state was so bad that I zoned out of reality, and the days became blurs. They still are, occasionally.
I feel the worst when I'm talking to my mother. She smiles and laughs occasionally when I'm around, but that's just because I'm at home all the time and she gets to ramble about our parrots. But I know that's not what she truly feels. It's like she's just hearing a good joke from a person she dislikes. I wouldn't say I'm hated, but I believe that she'd prefer having someone else in the room when I'm around. I never share anything with her - it turns into a lecture if I do, or I get bombarded with questions which I never have the answer to. I feel immeasurable shame and guilt just standing around her, not to mention around my step-father, where it's x2 worse. It feels like I'm constantly being judged by him, and I probably am. I'm 18 - turning 19 in 6 months - and I've sat in front of a PC my entire life. I always get teased about a girlfriend or irl friends, but that's just because I never share anything with them, as said earlier. Well, I don't have a girlfriend, though I had a male friend with benefits for a while. That is, until before he tried getting me to take pictures of myself or begging and talking me into the act even if I didn't want to. I broke it off eventually, even when he threatened to tell everyone about we were doing. (I called his bluff. We live in a country where if it's known that you swing the same way, you're likely to get beaten)
I keep telling myself I'll be better, but it never comes, no matter how many attempts I make on bettering myself. Sure, I exercise - a little less nowadays since I cant afford my gym membership anymore, now that I'm finished with high school and no longer get daily allowance from my parents, - I try to keep up basic hygiene, and I've become a little more social over the years. It's an improvement from the way I was in the past, but it all feels like it doesn't matter. The progress doesn't matter. In my eyes and the eyes of everyone around me, I wholeheartedly believe that they just see me as useless, or are about to. It just takes one bad day or mishap for them to do so. My older brother (by 5 years) has made many, countless attempts to be involved in my life. And after I pushed him away so many times, I got exactly what I wanted. Now he doesn't talk to me. He moved with his girlfriend - a lovely person as well - out of our apartment without so much as a 'bye', or even a text. I see him occasionally, and it's awkward each and every single time. We say our pleasantries, and then both stay quiet until someone else comes in the room to break the ice. It feels like I don't have the right to laugh with him.
I'm extremely aware of how self-destructive and bad this belief of mine is, but its impossible to ignore or change. And I really, really do want it to change. But I'm replaceable. Anyone can fulfil my role. I don't make money, and I don't make someone's day necessarily better by being around other than a single online person - which is sure to change. Sure, people might notice if I'm gone, but the feeling they have will go away after two days. I'm a mild inconvenience at best, and useless at worst. Both feel worse than being hated or despised. It's easy to ignore those people. But when I constantly disappoint everyone around me, and constantly disappoint myself, I can't set the thought aside. I'm a useless person. And by writing this, I probably pissed off 30% of people reading because I seem edgy. And the funny thing? I'd love to just say "No! - Wtf is wrong with you and why would you even say that?".
But I don't even know if I'm faking this for attention. I truly don't. Id say I haven’t gone through any serious trauma at all. I know people who've gone through much, much worse, and they still kick ass. In comparison, nothing is even explicitly wrong with my life. And its probably why whenever I've tried sharing my problems, I'm met with confusion. I sometimes wish that I DID go through something bad.
Maybe then people will have an easier time understanding why I always disappoint them. But, again, that just sounds like an excuse for attention.

Resolution! To that lil' cliffhanger I left off on last time. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy! : )
Move?
Don’t move?
Run?
Scream?
Gareth didn’t know what to do. He suddenly realized that that the forest around him had gone very quiet. In fact the only sounds were the burbling river and the crack-hiss of the open fire.
Oh Lumin, quiet…
Understanding bloomed. Quiet was bad because the life that’s evolved in this environment can easily recognize a threat and go into hiding. The information shot through his mind at a million miles an hour, not that it was much use anymore.
The creature seemed poised to strike but sat as still as he was. What was it doing? It had him dead to rights. The ambush was perfect. There was nothing he could do. He certainly wasn’t faster than it. He had no means of fighting it off. Even his biosuit would do little against such sharp teeth. At most it would buy him a few more seconds of agony.
Pen.
His companion came to mind in a flash. Perhaps he should scream. Fleeting was the hope of her saving his life, again. More than that he thought of her own safety. If shouting wouldn’t save his own life, he could at least warn her of the danger. He might give her the advantage of not being ambushed.
Its eyes moved, then its ears. The glowing spheres shot upward, locking onto something behind Gareth. Its ears twitched, aligning to more perfectly take in sound from wherever its eyes were peering.
A voice, as beautiful a voice as he ever did hear, came from behind him. Pen’s voice. She was closer to the fire than to him but still only about fifteen or twenty feet away.
“Look it in the eye. Don’t shake or yell. Just look it in the eye and back away slowly. Don’t turn. Don’t run. Move slowly and deliberately.”
How am I supposed to see where I’m going? What if I fall? Does it even recognize my eyes as eyes? What…
Gareth silenced the questions and did as he was instructed. He magnetized his gaze onto it praying for kind dawns. Slowly he tore his body from its frozen state and began to move. It was awkward. His legs weren’t built for such movement but he managed.
The creature’s eyes shot back to him. White hot fear ripped through him. The urge to freeze again was as intense as anything he’d ever felt but he forced it down, overwriting instinct with logic. Any field has its experts. In situations that deal with said field, you listen to the expert. Specialization. Pen was the expert in this field. Do what she says.
It twitched forward, teeth bared.
“AY!” Pen roared so loud it almost hurt.
The creature jumped back. Its attention shot back to Pen. Gareth kept backing up. Ten feet to where she’d originally been but she’d moved forward. She was right behind him now. A graceful, reassuring hand came to rest on where a shoulder might have been had he had one. He brought a hand of his own up to hers, an attempt to reinforce his increasingly shaking legs.
The thing still sat poised and ready. Watching them. Its glowing eyes darted between them.
“Uhm what now.” Gareth whispered.
“Behind. Me.”
Without breaking her locked gaze on the wolf, she used her hand to push him gently but firmly around her right side. She took another step to position herself directly between them.
“Back. Slowly. Same as before.”
Gareth acquiesced and matched her pace as they both began slowly moving back towards the fire. He noticed he could feel her heartbeat through her wrist. It drummed a rapid but rhythmic tempo against his hand.
A few steps went without movement from the beast but suddenly it started forward. Immediately Pen jolted a bluff forward as she let out another hard and quick yell.
“AY!!”
It twitched back. Its head went down with its front paws and hind legs cocked ready to respond to an attack that never came.
Pen then continued to back the two of them up slowly. Step by step until she came to a stop just within the light of the fire.
“Wait.”
Its reflexive poise had relaxed but it still eyed them, though it made no attempt to close the distance. Its glossy eyes still glowed with reflected firelight.
“What-”
“Just keep watching it.”
The wolf started to move, not forward but to the side. It lead with its head which, again, came low to the ground but its gaze never left them. Its ears twitched around for any hint of sound as it started to circle to its left.
Gareth followed Pen’s lead as she clearly turned her entire body to match its movement. It started to turn and circle back the way it had come. Again, Pen followed it. Gareth spared a second to glance at her face. He was of two minds on what he saw. Partly surprised and partly not at the cold steely stare she was levying on the creature. She almost imparted a tangible weight with just her gaze and the wolf seemingly sensed it. The two hadn’t broken their locked eyes for some time now but as the wolf reached a position back nearer to the berry bush it stopped suddenly. An ear twitched, then twitched again. It still held its gaze, but its head came up. It stuck its nose in the air and sniffed.
Without warning it bounded away into the dark of the forest. The only mark of its position the fast fading crunch of its paws on the dead twigs of the forest floor. In only moments not even that sound could be heard. Pen didn’t move. As such, neither did Gareth. She kept her gaze of the place where its form had melted into tree truck and shadow.
A moment passed.
Then another.
Gareth only waited for her.
Finally, he noticed the small life around them start to pipe up. A squirrel chittered at the base of a tree off to their right. An owl hooted from high branches up to their left. The buzz of insects joined the croaking of frogs by the river.
Pen’s shoulders relaxed. She let out a sigh.
“You good?”
Penelope I have been blown up, thrown out the back of my ship, plummeted to the surface of an unknown planet and now attacked by a wild animal four times my size. All in the span of 48 hours. I'm cursed. There's no other explanation.
“I'm… alive?”
She smacked him on the back a little harder than he could handle. He tumbled forward a step as she spoke.
“That’s victory.”
His nerves finally started to calm.
“Was that a bear?”
She laughed as she sat down.
“Ha! No, not quite. That was a wolf. Basically, the other forest predator to watch out for. Smaller but they hunt in packs.”
“I’m sorry, smaller?”
That thing was five or six times his size. In some respects it was even bigger than Pen, though their differing constructions made comparison difficult.
“Yea. Bears are hefty fuckers.”
“About how much more than that thing, the wolf?”
“Depends on the bear but I dunno, twice? Maybe a bit less maybe a bit more?”
“And your people survived by having to fight something like that?”
“Mm? Oh no. You don’t fight a bear. You leave, expeditiously. I suppose there are a few stories here and there but the lucky few belie an unlucky many.”
“Wait did you say those wolf things hunt in packs? If that’s the case, why was it…?”
“A loner perhaps? They’re social creatures like humans but there are various reasons for finding just one. Ostracized from the pack for whatever reason. Lost. Might have been an old one who decided not to burden their kids, packs tend to be families. Either way, likely not lasting long.”
“Why is that?”
“Lone wolves die. Simple as that. Their strength is in pack strategy. Without it he isn’t going to find much success hunting. He’ll starve. Almost makes you feel bad for the poor guy. It’s not a guarantee though. If he finds another pack and they accept him. Not that I know the situation, keep in mind I’m speculating.”
“If he was starving why’d he wait so long. I couldn’t have stopped him if he tried to bite me.”
“You may have known that, but he didn’t.”
“I didn’t think it was that unclear.”
“For you or me sure but its an animal. You froze staring right at him. To him that’s a display of confidence. You didn’t run, you didn’t turn away. Which would have told him you we’re prey. It’s a gamble on his part. If he attacked and was wrong, it’s the end of the line. So, he wasn’t going to strike unless he was certain we weren’t a threat… or so much of a threat that he felt it was kill us or be killed.”
“So, we kept up the façade and in turn he wasn’t going to risk taking damage that could be fatal. And he ran because he heard or smelled an easier meal somewhere else?”
“Nah he heard me, but the lady were spot on about the old part.”
Gareth whipped around lamenting the strain this constant stress was putting on his body. A gruff looking human strode out from behind a tree. He blended into the surroundings terrifyingly well but now made no attempt to hide himself.
Gareth turned back to Pen who seemed completely nonplussed.
The man chuckled.
“Suppose he weren’t the only one who heard me?”
“He definitely heard you before I did but I know what boots on wet clay sounds like.”
The man looked Pen over.
“Mmmm,” He offered with a respectful nod, “Well you’s definitely the ones they’re lookin’ for.”
“They?” Gareth asked standing.
“Yuh. That Captain Deag. Dog lookin, friendly? Said they were missing a little one and a big human woman. And if you ain’t a scrawny little fella and she ain’t an imposing som’bitch then I’m blind.”
Pen smirked.
“How far are we?”
“Bout twenty minutes that way.” He stuck a fat thumb behind him.
“Is everyone okay?” Gareth asked.
“I think so. Wasn’t no talk of casualties. I’ll say you gave us a helluva’ scare soaring right over the town. Landed just past us.”
“Thank goodness… and apologies if we-”
The man held up a hand.
“Was plenty of that already.”
“Alright…” Gareth turned a bit sheepish.
An awkward silence stirred for a few second before the man broke it.
“Well? You want to go see your friends or would ya rather sleep in the dirt another night?”
Previous
First

Hi guys, just wanted to share something that happened recently to me, because I couldn't find any information online about it related specificly to Suikoden Tactics. Might happen with other titles I guess.
Basically this game for some reason contains the European translations, you can even read some of the very first dialogue in any of those language if your console is set to said language. So if your console is set to any other language that isn't English, text will randomly disappear and game will freeze before the tutorial starts.
Solution: If you set the system (PS2) language to English you will be able to play it without problems.

The following seems to be the establishment view:

1. There is "no such thing as race"
2. Genetic diversity is similar between groups of people
3. Genetic diversity is enhanced by mixing genes between groups of people

However there is a "genetic fallacy" here, where you need to presuppose the existence of "something like a race" that is a distinct group of people, not just selected for randomly, but usually based on some identifying gene type, which is usually focused in a geographic area. Geography and stereotypical racial conceps are, of course, highly correlated. This means that you need to start out from "race" to conclude "there is no races".
The logic is not watertight, and while this line of reasoning, logically speaking, is valid, it is not sound, as you cannot say the initial grouping of races was nonexistent. To conceptualize anything requires some sort of grouping, as even language relies on the concept of sets. Whether you would like to call Africans "set A with haplotype something" doesn't matter; the labeling does not change the essence, philosophically speaking. This means that the establishment view that any grouping exists is basically a fallacy is self-defeating because
(1) It relies on a grouping of peoples that is very similar to the traditional view of race
(2) It then discounts it, destroying the very foundation it relies on, only to replace it with something like "genetics" which sounds more conducive to the globalized community we live in
However in order for genetic diversity to be enhanced, there has to be, on average, a difference between groups, which is borne out by research; on average, two groups of "races" (remember you have to permit the use of this word in order to later discount it anyway, because any grouping of persons based on genetic markers will in the end become something like a eugenic race) differ by some degree, but not so much that two individuals in the same group may differ more than two individuals in different groups. The probability to which this is the case, I'd assume, depends on the individual.
I actually FULLY AGREE to the concept of racial mixing and that it is beneficial for humanity to go that route (despite the worst wishes of supremacists); however, I think the current tone of the research (that I've read so far) actually counteracts this effort by being too dogmatic and doxastic in its wording -- "there are no races, and anyone who disputes this is a racist eugenicist xenophobe, period."
The establishment view is especially problematic when you try and find the "same level of genetic variation" within a relatively, if not very, small population. One extreme would be familial variation or variation within very small countries like some Scandinavian countries where in one they have an app to track the ancestry of your potential spouses as the risk of marrying someone closely related is quite high. One could not do the same line of reasoning for such populations as then you would have to concede that "there is less genetic variation within small populations than without" which in turn, would give you a nationalist picture of race, rather than a genetic one, albeit one that is of course "enlightened" as to not discount Africans and other traditionally disadvantaged minorities. Unless you are to argue that royal incest did not cause the downfall of the Spanish Habsburgs in the early Enlightenment era, you would have to agree that there was less genetic variation within the Habsburg family than between a Habsburg and someone from outside the family.
Here, how large a population should be to qualify within the surprisingly narrow framework of "there is as much diversity between races as within" is again, surprisingly ill-defined, and here, I am afraid that much of the current research depends on ethno-national borders.

Basically title because I'd like a home-computer for simple uses from time to time.
I also want my Valheim Xbox world on Steamdeck and I read the only way to transfer it is using windows....

I have a rather specific trope that I'm looking for, after reading a fanfic with the same premise. Basically, a couple are separated physically (for whatever reason) and a third person acts as a go-between for them to express their affections. Preferably all three are in love by the end. Is this a thing?? Looking for anything in the ballpark, really. High steam is a plus.

Boyfriend often calls me names, belittles me when I make mistakes instead of supporting me, and sexualise me in demeaning ways.
For exemple, during arguments, he may grope my breast while reciting what sounds like a pornographic horror movie.
« You like it you slut ? Isn’t that all you want? Say it, repeat after me; I. am. a. slut. »
It never fails to disgust me when he takes his penis out, and forces it onto my face. But don’t worry guys, he has a good reason; I speak badly to him. Since I disrespected him, then why should he bother respecting me?
(Although, what is even more disgusting is probably my longing for a little apology, a little word, a little something. I fool myself each time hoping it’ll come.)
Intimacy just isn’t what it used to be. No kissing, no touching, no foreplay, it’s like his love is gone, like he doesn’t care about bounding with me anymore. We still do it daily, but the pleasure is systematically focused on him. I used to want him all the time, and now, it’s like I forgot sex even exist. Back when my libido was high, he would mockingly call me a nymphomaniac, each time I initiated. It might sound playful, but in his book, a promiscuous woman is a worthless woman. When asked to stop, he innocently says that he’s just teasing me, and that i’m a bit susceptible. Playing it cool. Playing the fools.
Still to this day, even though I now rarely initiate, whenever I show interest in lovemaking, it’s like he can’t contain himself from faking exaggerated interest in a very obvious way, while groping me and saying the same kind of things. Shouting sillily that I love dicks too much. Kissing me willingly in a gross manner. I’ll spare the rest to your imagination. There’s too much to say.
He also teases me daily by singing my name, my old usernames, my family name, and even my mom's name, which makes me feel kind of harassed. Especially when I’m in the middle of/just done cooking dinner for him, cleaning his apartment, or doing any task for him.
(I basically assist him in everything he does.)
For example, anytime he wants an item, he just asks me to go grab it instead of ever standing up. I roll everything he smokes and he smokes a lot. He said it’d be nice if he learned how to do it himself. I'm always ready to teach him, but he hasn't taken it seriously once yet. I cook whenever he’s hungry, which is often at 3AM these days. I force myself not to sleep for hours each days so we can fall asleep cuddling together, often being promised to sleep soon at 2AM, only to end up in the kitchen at 3AM, and be told at 6AM that it’s not worth sleeping anymore, so you can go sleep and I’ll stay a bit more on the computer, alright ? I’m then the annoying one for pointing out his lack of reliability.
Due to that, we often wake up at noon, and he never miss on saying he woke up too late and the day is kind of ruined because I didn’t wake him up earlier. Which is absolutely false, as I serve him as the best alarm clock ever, coming in his bed every 20 minutes, cuddling and kissing his forehead gently, telling him to please wake up. But I can’t force him to. I don’t understand why he’d be upset I’m awake since 5PM and he only is since 9PM because of his own difficulty to wake up.
Anyway. If I dare being lazy or show reluctance to his requests, he’ll jokingly call me useless or be a little upset, saying i’m being mean to him. Truth is, i’d happily do it all, if he wasn’t so inconsiderate all the time. I love him so much, so I do it still, but quite unhappily.
These behaviours upset me, not usually to the point of actually starting fights, but rather retreat and cry on my own. He never reaches out to apologize.
When I retreat, the only kind of attention he gives at this point is rather sad. It consists of messages mockingly asking if I left to cry, if I’m smoking all his weed, sometimes he likes to bring out of the blue some old arguments we had, and other times he prefers to send memes, but it’s never complete without the massive amount of emoji he uses to usually indicate he is clowning me and we’re not having any serious discussion. Oh, and if I dare ignore him, then I’m a pathetic bitch. Even when I remove myself, he take offence of it, says I’m being mean, and that I should apologize for abandoning him.
I don’t tolerate his behaviour in the sense that I voice my discomfort every time. Every single things listed here, he knows bother me, because I always speak up. But in the end, he’s never apologetic when he should be. And I’m still here, next to him, like nothing happened. Days after days.
He never says « I’m sorry I’ve hurt you » and just hugs me. I crave that. I crave the simplest apology. « I’ve been too far » I can only wish.
Everytime these behaviours occurred, I’ve let him know that I dislike it, that the disrespect hurts. But it just keeps going on. This is my everyday.
How can I effectively communicate the depth of his hurtful actions and their impact on our relationship?
To the people who have dealt with a similar situation, what have you done that bettered the situation? I know I will mostly read it’s a lost cause, as people on this subreddit seems to mainly seek the courage to leave their abusive person. But that’s not my case. I don’t plan on leaving. I love him with all my heart but I wish his behaviour would ceases.
I wish he realised he is constantly disrupting my mental well-being. I wish he realised I’m slowly losing my spark. I wish he realised close to nothing he does benefits us. I wish he realised he could be a better partner. I wish he realised he would hate dating himself. I wish he realised he’s hurting his baby mama. I wish he realised he’s eroding my self-esteem. I wish he realise he is traumatising me.

Hi everyone,
I was wondering if someone who faces a similar issue might be able to offer some tips! I struggle with ADHD, but have been a good student most of my life. It takes me longer to study than most since I have trouble focusing. My most efficient study technique is writing everything on paper and using paper versions of books when possible rather than e-books. In college I would print out all of my professors’ slides and annotate. The pen and pencil is basically what I need.
I started using TTP because of how many people love the resource but I can’t seem to read more than a couple sentences before I lose my train of thought or realize that I can’t even remember what I just read. It’s not possible to rewrite everything in the chapters and there is no way to print everything, so I’m wondering if anyone has some advice on how I can efficiently study and retain as much info as possible if there is no paperback version. Thank you!! 😊 Any advice is appreciated.

Looking for an experienced female guitarist to join my all-female metal band.
Genre: neo-folk, with Scottish vibes, lots of atmospheric and melodic parts, and blast beats.
Location: preferably US, but can consider EU & UK
Skills: You MUST be good at picking technique and arpeggios. I've got slow/atmospheric parts and faster ones at around 180 bpm, so you should be comfortable with both. No sloppy playing please. A basic understanding of phrasing, and accents is needed.
Equipment: You must own a recording interface and software and be familiar with VSTs/plugins (I am using Reaper). I have everything written in Guitar pro, so you should be able to read tab and/or music notation (if you have it great, otherwise it's relatively cheap to get it at $60).
If you are experienced, enjoy the style I mentioned and can commit or know someone who might be interested please comment or dm me. Thank you.

I have a rather specific trope that I'm looking for, after reading a fanfic with the same premise. Basically, a couple are separated physically (for whatever reason) and a third person acts as a go-between for them to express their affections. Preferably all three are in love by the end. Is this a thing?? Looking for anything in the ballpark, really. High steam is a plus.

This is a 2 month summer study abroad to Europe provided through my school, so it's not a scam for those who may think it is after reading what I tell you. It's also a short one which makes it a lot different from those semesteyear long ones done, so I'm not sure if I'm expectations are off.
I paid the deposit back in Feb?, at the time I was told that we would have more info closer to the departure. Since then, crickets. I've tried contacting them relentlessly. Except from a professor going on the trip who basically said she has no idea either.
I have no itinerary, no idea who the flight is even with. I only have a ticket number they sent out the other day. That's it. That's all the info I have. My parents really, really want me to go but I'm so freaked out right now. The next full payment was due 2 weeks ago, and because of the crickets I didn't pay it. No one even reached out to me about that. Although it seems like it can still be paid. I reached out to some others I knew are going on the trip and they're in the same boat.
Again, since it's like a short one maybe I'm expecting too much. It's just when I was finally able to get a hold of this guy in Feb (took several attempts) he said "we're gonna do so much! You'll have so much fun!". BUT WHAT ARE WE DOING? AND WHEN? WHERE ARE WE GOING?! WHAT ARE MY CLASSES! Like yo. It sucks cuz if I don't go I'm essentially out $1000 from the deposit. It was non-refundable.

I’m starting lessons at a barn that focuses on dressage. I did lessons as a kid, could only walk and trot and basic things like that. It’s been 4 years since I’ve been on a horse, but it’s always been my favorite thing in the world even though I wasn’t the best at it. I think this barn will help me a lot with my growth as a rider. I never really considered dressage before, but learning more about it I’m really excited! I’m looking mainly for books to read about dressage or just about riding in general that would help me. But video recommendations would be appreciated too!